mentally I'm still here:
Nico insisting that neither of them are going to be sacrificed/left behind to satisfy the prophecy is a perfect encapsulation of his growth over the series and it makes me SO soft to think about
Nico as a character - particularly in BoO - doesn't have a lot of self-preservation. He doesn't really care what happens to him as long as the mission gets done. We see this most explicitly after he almost fades into nothingness after the Bryce Lawrence incident:
And again when he considers shadow travelling into Octavian's tent to assassinate him:
(Nico himself notes here that it was unlikely he would survive another jump. If Will hadn't stopped him, he probably would have died.)
In both cases, Nico was willing to risk death for the sake of ending the war. He puts very little value on his own life, and repeatedly argues to Reyna, Hedge, and Will that the possibility of saving camp (a place he never felt welcome at, might I add) is worth the risk of losing his life.
Even before Nico went on the quest with Reyna and Hedge, the others were concerned about his safety. Percy tried to remind him how unpredictable his shadow travelling could be, and Hazel notes that he has been acting strangely lately:
It's not quite clear what Hazel is worried about here, but my interpretation of this scene is that she's concerned that Nico isn't thinking - or perhaps, isn't caring - about what effect the constant shadow travelling will have on his wellbeing. Between Tartarus, the jar, and the Cupid incident, Nico's mental state is at its worst at this point in the series, and I think Hazel is worried he'll do something reckless - something he can't come back from.
And so in TSATS, when Nico is told that he's going to have to leave something of equal value behind in order to save Bob, the old him would have had zero issue sacrificing himself if that's what it took to ensure Will and Bob's survival. This version of Nico, who's been going to therapy w/ Mr D and opening up more and built a little support system for himself, can't fathom it.
Nico in BoO did not have a future. He had fully convinced himself that nobody cared about him or would miss him if he was gone - not Percy who fought for him at every turn in PJO, not his sister Hazel, not his new friends Jason and Reyna. He was ready to leave both camps behind because he couldn't see himself ever being happy there. He couldn't see himself being happy at all.
But now, in TSATS, he has a boyfriend that he loves, he has friends that he loves, and he has a community in Camp Half-Blood. He has experienced so much loss that losing someone else is his worst fear. The old Nico would have considered sacrificing himself to protect Will and Bob. At the very least, he would have kept that option in his back pocket as a 'just in case'; he wouldn't have sworn on the Styx that he wouldn't stay behind.
This Nico, however, is doing much better - not perfect, but better. He loves Will, and he wants a life with him, and he's not willing to give that up for anything. Nico has hope for the future, and he's clinging to that hope with everything he has. He sees a light at the end of the tunnel, and he wants to reach it. He's not willing to sacrifice himself because it means losing that future.
Gone is the cynical pessimistic Nico who assumes the worst because the worst is all he thinks he can have. Here is the Nico who has had a taste of happiness and is willing to fight to keep it. He's not going to sacrifice himself because he wants to live. He's not just fighting for Will here; he's fighting for himself too.
And seeing him go from "if it kills me, it kills me" to "it's not going to be me" makes me so ASDFGHJKL
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to add to the angst of thriller bark zolu, I keep thinking 1) of the parallel between zoro's words to luffy when he agrees to join him and his sacrifice 2) of sanji's words in the aftermath of TB and 3) the consequences of zoro's sacrifice bearing weight in sabaody.
1) while zoro choosing to pretend nothing happened at thriller bark makes sense, since he's not the type of character who'd go boasting about this sort of thing, it also makes even more sense when you think of this,
in the context of this other bit:
zoro, who believes and proclaims his dream of becoming the world's greatest swordsman is all he has, accepts to become part of luffy's crew on the sole condition that he'd never make zoro abandon that dream - otherwise, well, he says it. it's not gonna be pretty. luffy proved he understood the significance this held for zoro later at baratie, to the point he stopped johnny and yosaku from interfering in zoro's duel against mihawk, even though luffy himself was greatly upset abt mihawk hurting him.
overall, luffy is someone who places great importance in ppl's dreams and is willing to go through yet greater lengths to protect those he cherishes and befriends, especially his crew. this is an aspect of luffy's character that shines through in pretty much every arc of the story and something that zoro himself knows well since he's been with luffy the longest. which brings me to,
2)
to say luffy wouldn't have reacted well to zoro's deal with kuma is an understatement. imagine if monkey d. "I won't lose a single member of my crew even if it kills me" "defies the world government itself to save his friend/crew member" luffy were to find out that zoro willingly cast aside his dream and life for him, putting luffy's own dream and safety above his. bc to zoro, as the story progresses, his own ambition means nothing if he can't protect/save luffy, his captain. just imagine.
worse, if we take into account that:
3) thriller bark is the reason why zoro was significantly vulnerable at sabaody. even back before they arrived at the archipelago, zoro was visibly exhausted and injured, which brook notices:
and while zoro fights to the most he can despite the circumstances, his injuries after absorbing luffy's pain eventually leave him open to both kuma and kizaru.
now considering this is how luffy reacts to the whole ordeal when zoro's life is in danger and gets sent away by kuma,
just imagine how luffy would feel if he knew it was zoro sacrificing himself for his sake, which is already painful in itself, that led him to be so much weaker and vulnerable here. oof.
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I'm once again thinking about the missed opportunities to have Klaus and Kol bond more. Part of Klaus' whole motivation as a vampire is to get his werewolf part back and to finally be stronger than Mikael (sort of, I'm simplifying) both of which can be obtained by breaking his curse. But Kol? Kol is the only other original that can relate to having a fundamental part of themself ripped away from them. Klaus might not have known he was a werewolf until he killed, but he likely still had a connection he couldn't explain, as evident by him going to watch the wolves transform. And something he'd never been able to explain was now gone. He might only be able to realise the connection afterwards through its absence.
Kol though. Kol had grown up with magic, a connection to nature and the world around him in a way the rest of his siblings supposedly didn't have. And then he gets turned. And not only has his baby brother died, his father has just murdered him and the rest of his siblings after forcing them to drink human blood, which he'll later learn. Now, not only does he have to deal with the grief of Henrik's death and also his own but also the loss of his magic. A loss that's likely only worsened by Kol being a self-proclaimed child prodigy.
Kol is pretty much the only one who could understand what Klaus is going through with the binding of his wolf. We know Kol searched for ways to get his magic back/carry on practicing magic in the same way that Klaus was looking for ways to break his curse. While Klaus likely could still feel his wolf there despite being bound, Kol has no access to his magic anymore. I just think they should've been able to bond or connect over their shared loss of an intrinsic aspect of their selves at the hands of their parents
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joetrick friendship is literally so underrated. joe hearing patrick's demos and KNOWING that they needed him?? joe writing in his book that he called patrick and told him he wasn't doing well and patrick telling him his health was more important than the band and joe saying he almost cried?? patrick throwing his arms around joe, like he's so happy that they're onstage together?? hello??? they LOVE each other!!!!
LITERALLYYYYY. like they were both just kids when fob started and now they’re playing a sold out wrigley field together it makes me so 🥺 they care about each other so much 🥺🥺🥺
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