#never quite satisfied with any of them but not caring enough to get more involved than signing a check

[steveharringtonsstrugglemeals]

Joyce Byers was one of Steve's nannies when he was a child — it was a side job she picked up when she was still married to Lonnie to help make ends meet. Jonathan doesn't remember it, and Joyce suspects that Steve doesn't either. He had a lot a nannies, after all, and Joyce had only lasted half a year before Mr. Harrington informed her that she had been replaced by a Parisian au pair — five years younger and twice as chic, she was sure. The next time Joyce saw the young Harrington heir out about town, he was wearing a stylish wool scarf around his neck and stumbling over conversational French, while she was shackled to her new post behind the counter at the general store.

(Steve does remember. He remembers every one of the women who raised him piecemeal instead of his parents. They each had something to teach him, some little fragment of personhood that he tucked away and used to build himself into a real boy, whether that lesson was to add a bit of cream to his scrambled eggs or to never trust his father alone with a beautiful young woman. But how does one acknowledge that? How could he properly thank Joyce for granting him that little piece of herself, and apologize for not turning out quite right regardless?)

--

Between her extra shifts at Melvand's and her reputation as a high-strung individual, Joyce has never been particularly close to the other mothers of Hawkins Middle School. But she and Claudia Henderson did have something in common, a mutual understanding between two struggling single mothers. So it shouldn't have come as such a surprise when Claudia confided in her what a big help Steve Harrington has been, picking Dustin up from school and making sure he's not alone when she can't get away from work, fostering the confidence and camaraderie that her motherly doting couldn't provide. And he won't accept more than the occasional hot meal for it, the darling, certainly he would be happy to help out with Will too if Claudia brought it up to him?

But Joyce couldn't take her up on the offer. She wouldn't think of it, trusting her precious Will with Steve Harrington.

She looked at him, and instead of seeing the sweet but spoiled little boy she once knew, she saw his cold, imperious father. Stephen Harrington Sr. was a man carved from stone, all the preeminence and vanity of an emperor's marble bust, and young Steve was his spitting image.

He was the boy who cast a lofty stare from a photograph in the trophy case at Hawkins High. The boy who had never once stepped a Nike-clad foot into Melvand’s, not even for a pack of cigarettes. The boy who regularly sported blackened eyes and bloodied lips, who hefted a nail-studded baseball bat against the beasts of hell.

Maybe he was right for Dustin, Lucas, Mike, and Max and their untempered brashness, their bold defiance in the face of danger. But her kind, sensitive Will? Her Will, who had already weathered so much more than any child should have to?

--

[I might continue this...]

[aphroditelovesu]

Yandere Monkey D. Luffy Headcanons (General)

''I can't be the King of Pirates without you by my side.'' — Monkey D. Luffy.

❝ 👒 — lady l: It's 4am and I decided to finish this because I was bored lol. Hope you like it! I'm sorry for any mistake and good reading! ❤️💛

❝tw: obsessive behavior, overprotection, mention of death and torture, unhealthy relationships.

❝👒pairing: yandere!monkey d. luffy x gender neutral!reader.

Monkey D. Luffy has a relaxed and even sloppy personality, in a way. He has a carefree air, who cares about few things in his life. He had a goal, a dream, in mind and he would do anything to achieve it. But that dream became irrelevant after he met you.

He insisted a lot on you joining his crew, literally chasing you, harassing you, until you agreed to become a pirate. Luffy jumped for joy when that happened, because it meant you responded to him, as your Captain.

Luffy doesn't like to give you orders and he will rarely do so, unless it is unavoidable, in which case he will try to be as subtle as possible, as if he wasn't ordering you to do something. He is the Straw Hat Captain, but he is not your captain, not in a personal way at least. Furthermore, he wants you to find One Piece together with him.

He is very optimistic and tends to be very kind, trying to see the good in people, but he is a hypocrite when it comes to you. Even if you were the cruelest person in the world, Luffy would defend you tooth and nail. He's not very fair when it comes to you and anything ''wrong'' you do will be ignored by him, maybe even applauded.

People tend to think he's dumb or at least stupid, but that's not true. He may not be good at things that require greater thinking, but Luffy is anything but stupid. He is quite intelligent in his own way and it shows in the way he acts towards you. His intelligence is characterized by his emotional ability, he is very good at reading you and knowing your needs.

Luffy values you more than the rest of his crew. He loves all his friends, but he loves you the most. He would never say it out loud, but he would sacrifice everyone, send them to their deaths, if you so wish. He wants to make you happy and if the death of those who are important to him is the path to that happiness, so be it.

He is not possessive or jealous because Luffy knows he is your favorite. He doesn't mind other people being around you, but he has his limit. If Luffy thinks, even a little, that he is being replaced in your life, he won't accept it. Not without a fight. He's no stranger to bloodshed or killing, so he'll have no problem doing so.

On the other hand, Luffy is extremely overprotective and clingy, to a frightening degree. He dragged you into this life, but he doesn't want you to be an active participant. The idea, the thought, of you getting hurt sends you into a frenzy of anger and worry. He will kill, cut and even torture the person who hurt you and will only be satisfied when he has finished with the person.

Luffy is quite controlling and curious, he wants to know everything about you and he will find out. He doesn't want any secrets to be kept from him and he may feel betrayed if you try to keep something from him. Did he not give you enough confidence? Don't you know he's the only one you can really trust? Luffy will have to do something about your inappropriate behavior.

He likes to spend as much time as he can by your side, take everything he can and stay close to you as much as possible. His favorite moments together are when you are eating or sitting on the bow of the Going Merry. Luffy is very greedy for food and for you, if there are two things he cares about most and values above all else, it's you and food, in that order.

It's not easy to irritate him, but he gets irritated very easily when you're involved. If someone says something bad about you, feel sorry for that person because they won't end well. Luffy would never go so far as to kill over an insult, but he will get upset and he can be a pain in the ass when he is upset about something.

Luffy often behaves like a child, he tends to go to extremes very easily. He goes from 80 to 180 very quickly, his infectious joy turns to fury very quickly when it comes to you. He loves to entertain you with his rubber body, letting you play or making funny faces. He loves to hear you laugh and will do anything to see you laugh.

He hates seeing you cry, hates seeing your beautiful face wet with tears, your lips pursed as you cry. If Hell exists, then for Luffy it's seeing you cry. He will become furious and demand to know the cause of your sadness and once he finds out, he will deal quickly, often bloodily. If it is one of the Mugiwara, however, he will just be more rigid and will not hurt them.

Luffy is selfless, he is willing to sacrifice himself for you, to save you. He is delusional to a fault, willing to kill anyone who crosses you, including his own friends. Whatever past hurt you may, if he has your approval, Luffy will get revenge for you. No one can hurt you, no one can make you cry. He may not be the most dangerous to you, but to others around him, Luffy will have no qualms.

[synthetictorii]

Rumors ✧ Toshinori Yagi

Pairing: All Might/Toshinori Yagi x reader Genre: angst Summary: You've been called a lot of names, more than you can count. You've grown used to it - but your lover hasn't and it's about time it stops. Word count: 3.3k A/N: ...obligatory old and cringey fic ahead warning... + this was a wattpad rq

     You always lived your life in a way that made you feel like a side character of your own story. That was just you were content, putting others on the first place while forgetting about yourself. You were constantly trying to satisfy everyone, to help in any way you could. Many people told you that you were too kind for your own good. They were absolutely right, but you only felt satisfied when you behaved that way. You were happy only when everyone around you was smiling. Your way of thinking and behaving often caused you to be easily overlooked, this was also fine with you. You avoided attention as much as possible.

  Then it’s understandable why it was very surprising for you to wake up one day to find photos of yourself all over the news and in TV. Magically, overnight you became the talk of the town. Well, the only magic involved was the man standing right next to you on all of those photos. All Might. The symbol of justice and peace. The reports did a lovely job though, creating a beautiful collage tracking your yesterday’s date, your first “official” one. You turned the volume on as you curled up in your sofa. It couldn’t hurt to watch a bit, right? The show host was talking with the guests about each of them, guessing what was happening but they never got it quite right.

    The first picture was taken near the subway station where he was waiting for you with a single white rose, the same flower that was currently sitting in a glass on your kitchen table. You remembered times when a whole bouquet of flowers used to be there, sighing happily. Toshinori finally listened to your pleas and settled for something simpler. You never were one to enjoy getting gifts, especially expensive ones, always feeling that the bond you shared with people was more important. Yet he wouldn’t hear of it. You smiled fondly. “White rose, because your love is just as innocent as the color.” He said yesterday while giving you the flower, a hint of pink colored your cheeks.

  The second photo was taken through a window so it was slightly blurred. It showed you laughing, hand covering your mouth while he was talking sitting on a chair opposite of you in a little café, making grand gestures. It was a good one. They caught the moment when he was telling you about his students at U.A. You especially like to hear about one kid named Bakugou, he seemed to be quite a madman. You missed being their age, it was strange to feel like this when your age still sported the twenty in it but in your defense, things were easier then. You wouldn’t turn back time if you had the chance though, you were satisfied with your life the way it was now, especially with a man like Toshinori by your side.

  But surely enough, something had to go wrong the moment you thought just that. “They look like a happy couple, right?” said one of the guests on the show. You nodded, smiling from ear to ear. Well, you felt a bit guilty, agreeing without Toshinori’s opinion. Well, whatever, this once you’d allow yourself to be selfish and not care about his thoughts. “They do but you know what they say, even the sun sets in paradise,” said the host and the smile froze on your lips. You frowned and raised the volume, for once actually interested what do the people on TV have to say. “I don’t wanna spread rumors,” said the lady with a fake smile, “but there are some who feel like our dear All Might is only being used. I mean, I don’t want it to be true,” she huffed with laughter, “but she’s just so young, what else could possibly be her motivation? If she truly had feelings for him, she’d tell to wait for her until she learns how to take care of herself,” both the audience and guests bursted out laughing. “Yeah, I guess you’re right, like this was what I thought when I first saw-” you turned the TV off and threw the controller away. Your hands were shaking slightly in distress. How could they say something like this? Not once did the thought about his fame or money cross your mind. It was a thing that you literally couldn’t care less about! You shuffled on your spot nervously and bit your lip. You replayed all the occasions when someone looked at you yesterday during the date. Were they all thinking like this? Were they all against your relationship? You were prepared for some hate but not for this. You expected some mean comments but not for people outright saying you weren’t enough for him.

  Your pride or reputation wasn’t what mattered to you, even if it probably should, instead you were stressing about what Toshinori will think once he hears these rumors. You knew each other for over half a year but only started dating about two months ago, going out twice or thrice a week, always during late evening or night so you wouldn’t be constantly interrupted by his fans. Yesterday was a little test of sorts to see how it would go. Not well it seemed, you frowned bitterly, gently biting on the skin around your nails – a bad habit of yours when you were anxious.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

  He woke up well rested, actually feeling refreshed for the first time in god knows how long. His side didn’t hurt one bit and it was almost like before the incident. He whistled all the time during preparing his breakfast and coffee, his mind blissfully returning to yesterday’s events. When his ham’n’eggs was done and the bread was toasted, he set the food on the table and turned on the TV, eager to see what the media thinks about his relationship with you. Although he wouldn’t break up with you if they didn’t approve, public opinion was important to him – and also decided his pay check, so yeah. He clicked through the channels, always watching just for a while before checking elsewhere.  So far so good, the reactions were mixed as expected, but mostly it seemed alright. Then he hit the jackpot of hate. His grip on the fork got so strong he split it in half. Shit. This wasn’t good. You were sure to see this, you liked to watch TV in the morning to see what’s up in the world and he couldn’t guess how you’d react but he was certain you’d start worrying.

  He didn’t waste any more time, toast and a forkful of eggs laid rejected on the plate, and quickly changed into casual clothes he could were in his flexing form. He felt so frustrated and enraged by what he heard – how dared they gossip about you like that? You were the sweetest, kindest person he knew, if anything was supposed to taken apart by the news, it was how suspiciously perfect you were. He wasn’t able to count how many times he teased you for being too modest and, with relation to the rumors, how often he told to take advantage of having rich boyfriend. You wouldn’t hear of it! Yesterday was the same, he made attempt to pay for your coffee and cake but no, you paid for all the things you both ordered. Seriously, if he didn’t bring you flowers, you’d be the one in your relationship paying for everything – he was the one using you. He could only imagines the headlines if the media knew that.

  He rushed out of his apartment and jumped from roof to roof to reach your place sooner while attracting as little attention as possible. It didn’t take him long to arrive as you didn’t live too far away. He waited for a while until the street got empty and then he jumped on the fire escape staircase right next to your living room window. He saw you marching from one end of the room to another, freezing on the spot when he landed with a loud crack. It was a wonder the staircase withstood his little stunt. You turned around and he waved at you. He saw your features relax and gentle smile formed on your lips. You walked to the window and opened it for him to climb inside. “I have arrived, [y/n]! Now let me assure you that everything is alright!” He grinned widely and spread his arms for you. Your smile faded a bit as you gratefully hugged him, he pulled you close tightly, stroking your hair. “You were afraid, right?” He asked, his voice calm and patient. He knew that your feelings weren’t based on distrust towards him but rather your habit of underestimating yourself and he decided to be as supportive as he could in your fight with these feelings. You nodded into his chest, squeezing him harder. “You know, I think saying lies like that on public TV earned them enough of the villain status, want me to beat them up?” He gave you mischievous smile. You laughed and smacked his shoulder lightly. “You know how I feel about violence,” you chuckled and sighed. “I… I really don’t date you just for your money and fame, I swear,” you said, looking somewhat apologetically into his eyes. “I figured that much,” he huffed, almost pouting. He knew it never failed to make you all mushy seeing him act cute. Your giggling rang through the room as you reached up and raised the corners of his mouth with your fingers. “But it’s so nice to spoil you!” You said happily. He took your hands into his and kissed each of your knuckles before laying them on his chest, again holding your waist. “I want to pamper you too, young lady!” He protested while looking into your eyes. “It’s a man’s job to take care of his girl, isn’t it? So, let me take you out for brunch, my treat this time,” he shushed you before you managed to say anything. “I’ll wait here, unless you want me to help you change?” He flirted and you quirked a brow at him. “Is that what you want in exchange for the brunch?” You teased but laughed at the sight of his flushed cheeks and flustered gesticulation. “I’ll be right back,” you reassured him with a smile and gave a small kiss to his nose.

  He watched you run off and fondly sighed. How in the world did he deserve such ethereal creature like you? You were the perfect combination of cute and smart with a hint of flirt mixed in and he fell for you more each day. He stared longingly at the doors leading to your bedroom as if he could speed up the process of you getting ready. He tried hard not to imagine you in your underwear but boy, was it hard. Instead he sat on the sofa and turned on the TV with intention of getting more information about how the situation progresses. The conclusion was simple: not very nicely. Some other channels inspired themselves with the one he saw in the morning, throwing hate your way. It took every ounce of his self-control not to destroy the controller. “Are you sure you want to go out?” He turned to see you sheepishly playing with the hem of your hoodie, looking everywhere but at him. You were adorable beyond words. Your nicely shaped body was hidden under oversized [f/c] hoodie but your legs clad only in thin black leggings made up for it and hinted at your figure. He switched the TV off and made his way to you, stroking your arms. “The day I will say no will be my last,” he smiled and kissed the top of your head. “Then I hope you’ll live a long life,” you snuggled closer to him, enjoying the safety of his solid body whereas he appreciated your affection and nice words. It didn’t matter what happened, you always found the exact thing to say that he needed to hear or guessed what would help to make him feel better. It always left him amazed. Neither of you wanted to let go, however when your stomach let out quite a loud growl. “We should get going,” he suggested and this time you didn’t oppose him.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

  The walk was nice, the skies were blue without a hint of cloud and only a light breeze was blowing. You talked about everything and nothing, cracking jokes and laughing all the time. You clinged to his arm happily and momentarily forgot about your worries. This was the effect he had on you. Somehow with him by your side you could let go of everything that weighted down your mind and live in the moment. That’s the symbol of peace for you.

  However the peace was not supposed to last for long. Soon you were walking through busier streets than the ones near your home and people were staring. You remembered the words of the morning show’s host. She’s so young. All your insecurities hit you like a punch to the gut. You felt eyes of every single person around on you, burning holes into your soul.

“This can’t be true she’s not enough for him!” “Yeah, All Might deserves the hottest girls only!”

“What a joke, she’s still a child! Learn you place, girl!”

“Poor All Might, how can she be so cheap - using him without shame!”

“In my days it were boys digging gold!”

“Go back to high school he’s got more important job than to baby sit you!”

  You clenched your jaw, trying to ignore the ubiquitous whispering. You held onto Toshinori’s arm more tightly, afraid that someone will actually try to tear you away from him. He noticed your distress immediately. You knew from the way his muscles were tenser than usually, his features somehow looked sharper, his teeth gritted to the point of breaking as he tried to maintain his trademark smile. “Please, it’s alright, don’t... don’t make a scene,” you pleaded, voice barely above whisper. You were afraid it would only add oil to the fire and you didn’t exactly wish for more attention. You saw him nod and then his hand was suddenly no longer in your grasp but around your waist, pulling you closer. You smiled, thankful. “Not a word of that is true,” he reminded you with a stroke of his thumb over your side. “I know,” you sighed and closed your eyes for a moment, trying to blot out everyone staring at you from your mind and just focus on the positives. One, you were with Toshinori and he wasn’t fazed at all by the rumors. Two, he was as mad about the whole deal as you, meaning he cared about you just as much as you cared about him. Three, the man you loved with your whole heart was proudly showing you off to the world.

“There's no such thing as bad publicity, huh?”

“I don’t mind people with age difference between them dating, but isn’t she too young?”

“I hope he’ll dump her soon.”

“Be careful All Might, she’s no good!”

“Daddy kink alert!”

  The voices didn’t stop coming though and your boyfriend was getting visibly more and more upset. You bit your lip and laid a hand on his stomach, trying to bring him out of his thoughts. However your plan crashed as someone from the small crowd watching you two yelled, “Get your dirty hands off him, you sugar baby!” That was the last straw and all it took for Toshinori to snap. He stopped dead in his track. “Listen up everyone!” He shouted in his rich voice so loud that not even Present Mic would be ashamed of it. He gently pulled you in front of him and rested his hands on your shoulders. You backed down only to be met with his firm chest. Okay, this could do. He cleared his throat and scowled at everyone present at the moment. You noticed some cameras filming the whole scene from the corner of your eye too.

  “This is [y/n], and we’ve been dating for months now,” his voiced was calm, although he was not. Hearing your name come from his lips in the public, introducing you to his fans, made you blush a deep shade of red. He noticed and chuckled fondly, quiet enough for only you to hear. “I, All Might, am thrilled to share my life with this amazing woman and I would appreciate if you all could be more supportive of our relationship,” his hands gently squeezed your shoulders in attempt to ease your nervousness. He couldn’t imagine how difficult it must be for you to face all these unknown people, but he hoped he provided at least a little support. “[y/n] is the sweetest person I’ve ever met, angels aren’t as kind or gentle as this young lady standing in front of you. You don’t have to worry, I will continue in my fight against evil, but please understand, even a hero needs a home and I found mine in her arms.” You casted your eyes down on the ground as you felt them overflowing with wetness. His tender words filled your soul with warmth and made you wonder for thousandth time just today how did you deserved a man like him. He often joked around but never when it came to serious matters, relationship definitely being one. He was honest, confessing his love for you to the whole world. “Shall we go, honey?” He asked you, voice soft, turning you slowly to face him. You smiled brightly at your new nickname. “Yeah,” you whispered breathily and before you knew it, he carried you bridal style while you soared through the air. You let out a weak squeak, tears flying around as the wind rushed against your face.  Soon you landed on a roof of high building near the city center. “I’m sorry they cornered us in the end,” he apologized, setting you down. “It’s alright,” you gave him a reassuring smile. Your knees were still shaky from your touched state. “Thank you… for what you said back then,” you avoided his intense gaze, roses blooming on your cheeks. You wished your thoughts were more coherent so you could actually respond with a confession of your own, but as luck would have it, you were speechless blushing mess. “[y/n], I meant every word I said and you better be ready to hear more,” he took your hands into his, rubbing little circles over your knuckles. “And now that our relationship is official, you can’t run that easily from me,” he smirked playfully, invading your personal space. “As if I wanted to run, you dummy,” you jumped at him in excitement when the full weight of his words finally hit you. Yet you were still in denial over your luck. He caught you chuckling with his deep voice and leaned in to rest his forehead against yours. His proximity made the color in your cheeks more prominent. You stared into his fierce blue eyes and cherished the sudden tranquillity, a fond smile on your lips. “All Might, I think I’m utterly in love with you,” your teeth showed as your lips spread widely in a grin. His expression mimicked your and he shook his head in silent laughter. “You dork,” he closed the distance between you, kissing you deeply but gently. His lips were delightfully moist and soft against your own. Kissing him always felt so out of this world you briefly wondered if this was what heaven was like. It was everything. Only when your lungs screamed for oxygen did you break the kiss but still lingered close, your lips still touching. “I love you too, [y/n],” he said so sweetly you almost thought that suffocating during kissing wouldn’t be such a bad way to go.

[jujutsutrash]

My apologies for delivering something without smut right in October, instead of kinktober (unless body swapping is your kink) let's call this one kenjakutober. I dunno, this weirdo has been in my mind a lot recently, maybe because he was my second fav behind gojo, and oh, well, gojo got boxed for good. Guess Kenny wins.

Kenjaku x Reader. 1.2k (tw: death, and Kenjaku's flavor of body swapping)

Honestly, the whole experience since meeting you was something Kenjaku could describe as unique. not, by any means, bad, but definetly unexpected - though, not unwelcome. you were a powerful sorcerer, in fact, too powerful for your time. it had been a couple hundred years since the Heian era, and in this age of blades and samurais, jujutsu had been losing its strength. that made you a stranger in your time.

At first he'd seen in you a good tool to aid in his plans, a source of power that could prove itself useful. you were a sorcerer with strength but no actual purpose, and he could give you one - although, it would be his. you took to the job without hesitancy, wanting to escape the fate decided to you by your clan. an arranged marriage, a waste of your life on someone who'd certainly resent how much more powerful than him you were.

Now he clearly understood that what you saw on the deal he offered was a chance at freedom, to live your life unchained by anyone. it seemed a worthy shot, even if you could tell his motives seemed not to be fully on the clear. but you didn't care, figuring it better to be involved in something possibly bad than to be involved in nothing at all. better the evil you don't know than the one you do - better to take this leap than be chained to domestic servitude, wasting away your existence doing nothing interesting.

To be quite fair, he found that thinking admirable. maybe that was why Kenjaku started to grow found of you. In these new times, few were the people willing to take the gamble, willing to get their hands a little bloody to live life how they wanted to. oh, you truly were like a treasure from a time long gone. brave and powerful, curious and unafraid, unshaken by the things he did and the ones he had you do. and above all lustful for a life that's not mediocre. lustful for a life that would be better than just good enough. to achieve things, to see things, to experience more.

You were almost like kindred spirits. and overtime that was probably how he let you work your way under his skin. one day he just found himself desiring you, and soon enough he was working his way under your clothes. You were beautiful - that had been undeniable since day one, but hadn't really had any importance until this sudden shift. what Kenjaku originally wanted from you was your ability to work. but then things changed, he wanted that and something more - an useful setup, really, two birds with one stone and all that.

It was a convenient situation. on one hand you completed every task and job given with almost brutal precision. on the other you were an entertaining company and a good source of pleasure. it was fun. just a satisfying circumstance. or at least that was the case in the beginning.

Without even noticing Kenjaku started growing to like you - feelings he never really expected to have. that that he actively shunned them, he still had his priorities straight and the sentiment existed in the background, a fun little side task. it was just surprising to see it happen anyway, something to take note off. it was good knowing life could still surprise him at least, even after a couple hundred years around.

it was good, something fun to stave off the boredom and monotony. not only a warm body on cold nights but one that willingly came to him - even after having known exactly what he was. a normal person would have been afraid, but not you. he could appreciate how you put your need to have what you desired over even any sense of self preservation. you were definetly an interesting company - it explained how he came to feel for you.

Though, no good thing can last forever. well, not so much a rule for Kenjaku, but one for almost everybody else - you included. your end came at the hands of a curse, one that he managed to exterminate himself, but then it was already too late. he found you laying dead in a pool of your own blood, body covered in smaller wounds, clear sings that you didn't go down easy. though, he had realized that earlier, the curse was powerful but he found it in terrible shape. you fell, but you fought to the bitter end, that too was admirable.

So Kenjaku did the only respectable thing he could think of doing.

His first thought when he found your body was to turn you into a cursed object, so he could revive you at a later point. it would be useful, but somehow it felt lacking. though, as he looked at your bloody form for longer, a thought crept into his head. you had a great cursed technique, a powerful body, and there was a curiosity in him, a wondering that wouldn't cease. what would it be like to occupy that body?

The idea just seemed right. and as he looked down, witnessing your cold hands warming up, it felt right too. looking at the mirror for the first time after switching bodies always seemed a little odd, but this time it didn't, not quite so much. things just seemed to sit right as he moved to brush a strand of hair away, watching as your soft hand reach out to pull the hair back, leaving clear the still fresh scar across your forehead. Well, Kenjaku's forehead now.

The wound was so fresh that liquid still pooled around the points where the stitches connected the two parts of the skull. what would you have thought? you probably wouldn't have minded, you were never quite so squeamish. and it just felt right. Kenjaku's soul seemed to just sit right in this body - no longer you, but still yours in ways kenjaku knew so well. one last gift from the grave, a body that fit so easily.

Looking at the mirror again, warm hands reached to adjust the soft locks of hair just like you did it. oh, yes, that looked perfect, gazing at the reflection, Kenjaku could almost believe it was you. but she was a different person, although a related one, this time around. one that, having full access to your memories and experiences now she could be sure, was certainly part of what made you, well, you.

It was strange, seeing her own life in third person. but that was a good strange, a interesting experience for sure, getting to go through all these years again, but from a new perspective. to feel everything as you felt it - from pleasure to pain, oh, and love, of course. It was different, interesting, something Kenjaku wasn't sure if she'd be able to do again any time soon. yeah, taking your body was the right choice. it was powerful, beautiful, and most definetly a remarkable experience. what a great way to end something good.

[anonymousewrites]

Adolescent Antichrist (Book 4) Chapter Thirteen

Father Figure! Lucifer x Teen! Reader

Chapter Thirteen: You've Done Enough Damage

Summary: (Y/N) has had enough of Eve and Lucifer.

            (Y/N) narrowed their eyes as they walked into the kitchen and found Eve all over Lucifer. Apparently they were officially together. (Y/N) was, of course, not a fan. Not at all. They didn’t like any part of it.

            First of all, Eve was annoying. She pulled everyone else into her issues, and if there was one thing (Y/N) hated, it was cleaning up other people’s messes. Why should they have to deal with Eve’s ridiculousness on top of the drama they created for themself? (Y/N) was already a trans teenager with mental health issues and a penchant for bad luck. They didn’t need any help from Eve getting into trouble.

            Second of all, the crazy antics Eve pulled Lucifer into were getting on (Y/N)’s nerves. Eve had convinced Lucifer to let her come alone with him to help on cases with Chloe. Not only was that a terrible idea since Chloe wasn’t fond of Eve’s affect on Lucifer, either, but it meant that Lucifer was back to being more irresponsible instead of actually productive with Chloe. (Y/N) didn’t like that change. Plus, Eve’s ideas of fun involved a lot of things (Y/N) really didn’t care for, and although Lucifer had refrained from participating in quite a few of Eve’s plans, it didn’t change that he was involved by still being there and letting Eve keep going.

            Most of all, though, the issue was with Lucifer. He claimed he was happy and glad he was with someone who accepted him, but (Y/N) knew the truth. They understood that Lucifer was unhealthily coping with the disappointment and heartbreak he had experienced when Chloe was still working through her feelings when she discovered he really was the Devil. Unfortunately, Lucifer’s reaction was to throw himself into acting more like what people thought the Devil was like, and although he pretended to be happy and satisfied since Eve adored him “as he was,” (Y/N) wasn’t an idiot.

            Lucifer was unhappy. He felt uncomfortable in his own identity and was latching onto any sort of approval to try to cope with his insecurity. Unfortunately, that meant listening to Eve and going along with her antics for her adoration, even if it was clear Lucifer didn’t really feel true fulfillment from acting like the Devil he was thousands of years ago.

            (Y/N) clicked their tongue. Sure, they had some terrible habits due to their own mental health (see: never trusting others completely and usually expecting them to not accept (Y/N) for who they were), but that didn’t mean they’d let Lucifer run around going crazy or let Eve push him into becoming who he wasn’t, not anymore.

            (Y/N) turned away from the kitchen and walked away. Something would have to give, soon. (Y/N) couldn’t keep living in the penthouse and see Lucifer let who he was be run into the ground just for some silly approval from a woman who couldn’t see who he really was, no matter how much she was sure of the opposite.

l

            The elevator doors opened, and (Y/N) perked up, hoping to see Em.

            Hoping? When did I start hoping to see them? thought (Y/N), frowning.

            Still, it wasn’t Em coming back from training with Maze. It was Trixie.

            “Trixie?” (Y/N) sat up. It had been a while since they saw Trixie.

            “Hey, (Y/N),” she said. “Is Lucifer here?”

            “Uh, no. He’s out with Eve,” said (Y/N).

            Trixie huffed and frowned.

            (Y/N) grinned. “You’re not a fan either, are you?”

            “My mom is worried about Lucifer, but she won’t come and check on him, so I came myself,” said Trixie. She looked at (Y/N). “Is it true that he isn’t okay?”

            “Kind of true, kind of not,” said (Y/N). “It’s complicated.”

            “That’s what adults always say. Be honest,” said Trixie.

            “Lucifer is figuring some stuff out about himself,” said (Y/N). “And, being completely honest, it’s a bit tricky.”

            Trixie considered, looking at (Y/N), and then nodded, accepting the teenager/fellow kid’s opinion. “What can we do to help him?”

            “We can try talking to him, but sometimes he can be pretty clueless,” sighed (Y/N).

            “We can team up, then! With both us, then he has to listen,” said Trixie decidedly, sitting down.

(Y/N) chuckled. They weren’t sure if it would work, but they were glad someone else wanted to help Lucifer (and Chloe. So they could both be happy. Together).

            The elevator doors slid open again, and Lucifer and Eve walked in.

            “Look, I just think you’re holding yourself back because of her,” said Eve to Lucifer. He sighed and looked away uncomfortably as Eve continued, “I just think she might be a little too involved in your life.”

            (Y/N) eyes narrowed, and their fingers curled around the red feather necklace they wore in an effort not to show their annoyance. Still, the shadows around their feet curled slightly in reaction to their emotions.

            “Oh, well, that is preposterous—Oh, (Y/N),” said Lucifer, brightening when he saw them. He blinked when he saw Trixie. “And the Detective’s offspring.”

            “Yeah,” said (Y/N) casually.

            “Does your mother know you’re here?” said Lucifer, looking at Trixie uncertainly.

            “Yes,” said Trixie.

            Okay, so that’s a lie, thought (Y/N), but they weren’t about to expose Trixie. It wasn’t like she was somewhere dangerous. It was Lucifer. He wouldn’t let Trixie get hurt on his watch.

            “Well, what are you doing here?” asked Lucifer.

            “I came here to make sure you’re okay,” said Trixie earnestly. “My mom said you needed a friend.” She looked at Eve. “But it…looks like you have one already.”

            “He can always do with more,” said (Y/N).

            “Hi, I’m Eve,” said Eve, smiling at Trixie.

            Trixie narrowed her eyes doubtfully and crossed her arms. (Y/N) held back a chuckle.

            Eve faced Trixie and (Y/N). The poor woman looked at the pair and smiled before sitting. She was still determined to win them over. (Because third time’s the charm, right? thought (Y/N))

            While Lucifer poured himself a drink, knowing this was going to be quite something, Eve sat down across from the pair and let Trixie begin her interrogation.

            “Where do you live?” asked Trixie.

            “Here,” said Eve.

            “Where are you from?” questioned Trixie.

            “Far away. I came here for Lucifer,” said Eve.

            “No way, really?” said (Y/N) sarcastically.

            “Have you ever been married?” continued Trixie.

            “Yes. It didn’t work out,” said Eve honestly. At least she had truthfulness going for her.

            “How come?” asked Trixie.

            “We weren’t right for each other,” answered Eve.

            “What do you do for work?” said Trixie.

            “I don’t,” replied Eve. “Pretty much just get to be me.”

            And convince Lucifer to not be himself, thought (Y/N).

            “Well…that’s kinda cool,” admitted Trixie. “What’s your favorite color?”

            “Red. What’s yours?” asked Eve.

            “I’m asking the questions,” said Trixie, and (Y/N) snorted in amusement.

            Lucifer sighed as he watched the back-and-forth continue. “Would you excuse me whilst I do something less mind-numbingly boring, like, uh…color-sort my suits?” He stood up, and none of the people sitting on the couch acknowledged his departure, still just staring at one another.

            “…Are you the kind of friend Lucifer needs right now?” asked Trixie softly.

            “I hope so,” said Eve gently as Lucifer paused in the doorway of his room before leaving. “I care about him very much.”

            “If you care about him, why don’t you accept him for who he is?”

            Eve’s eyes went to (Y/N) when they asked their own question for the first time. “What do you mean? I do accept him.”

            “You accept the Lucifer you knew years ago. I don’t think you really know this Lucifer,” said (Y/N), gazing at Eve evenly. It wasn’t a cruel statement; it was merely (Y/N)’s thoughts.

            Eve furrowed her brow in confusion. “I—”

            The elevator doors dinged, and two men walked out. (Y/N)’s eyes widened as they raised their guns. Eve jumped up and pushed Trixie behind her. At the same moment, (Y/N) moved in front of the young girl and narrowed their eyes.

            “Lucifer!” shouted Eve worriedly.

            “I didn’t think there’d be anyone else here,” sneered one man. “But…can’t have any witnesses, so…” He trailed off darkly and raised the gun higher.

            “Please, please!” said Eve, holding Trixie farther behind her.

            Two things happened at once. Lucifer’s hand smashed through the mirror wall of his bar, grabbed one man, and pulled him through widely. When the other man’s head snapped towards the movement in shock, (Y/N) curled their hand into a fist, and a shadow grabbed his ankle. Trixie couldn’t see from behind Eve, so (Y/N) didn’t hesitate to drag the man to the ground and knock the gun away from him with their abilities. To anyone else, it just looked like the guy stumbled and fell in shock.

            “Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!” said Eve, hurrying Trixie out of the room, and (Y/N) backed up with them, keeping their eyes on the man they had knocked down.

            Lucifer smashed through the other mirror and stalked angrily towards the man. He tried to scramble to his feet, but Lucifer didn’t give him a chance and shoved him back down. The man flew back and hit a wall.

            “What the hell are you?!” cried the man, staring at Lucifer. He grabbed for his gun, but Lucifer gripped his wrist harshly, and the man let out a strangled cry.

            “Tiernan sent you, didn’t he?” snapped Lucifer.

            “Yeah! Yeah!” cried the man fearfully, in pain.

            “Dad! Stop, you’ve done enough!” said (Y/N).

            Lucifer froze as soon as he heard their voice. He turned to face (Y/N) and saw them staring at him hard.

            “Dad, just call Chloe. She’ll know what to do. He’ll get what he deserves,” said (Y/N).

            Lucifer’s eyes widened. The same words Eve had used, but (Y/N) was asking him to stop punishing this man. Eve would tell him he was doing what was right. But knowing that (Y/N) wanted him to stop and they would support him not being angry, not going out of his way to cause pain…that was more important to Lucifer. And it would be him acting as he wanted, no expectations from anyone…

            Before Lucifer came to his conclusion, however, the elevator doors opened for a third time that night, and Chloe and Dan ran out of the elevator. Behind them were several police officers who immediately went to grab the men as Lucifer backed up.

            “Where is she? Where’s Trixie?” said Dan worriedly.

            “She’s safe. She’s in the bedroom,” said (Y/N), nodding to the side room.

            “Mommy! Daddy!” As soon as Dan and Chloe ran towards the room, Trixie ran out and hugged her parents, frightened and relieved they were there.

            They both embraced her tightly, taking deep breaths in relief at her being safe and unharmed.

            “Monkey, you’re okay,” said Chloe, tearing up in relief. “You’re okay! I love you, Honey.” She hugged her tighter. “You’re alright.”

            Lucifer, Eve, and (Y/N) looked on as the parents hugged their child in pure relief that she was safe. (Y/N)’s hands curled into fists, and their eyes went to Eve and Lucifer. Those men had come to punish Lucifer for something. And (Y/N) would bet Eve had something to do with that.

            And (Y/N) never lost a bet.

l

            “Why the hell did those two men come here?” snapped (Y/N) the instant everyone else was gone.

            “They were here to get back at Lucifer for punishing Julian,” said Eve proudly.

            “You what?!” The shadows around (Y/N) flared to light, and they turned on Lucifer.

            He winced and looked away. He didn’t want to see (Y/N)’s disappointment. “I…I couldn’t let him keep hurting people.”

            “Damn it, Chloe would have found him! You and I both know that!” said (Y/N). They furrowed their brow in frustration. “So why?! This isn’t you.”

            “He punishes people so they don’t harm anyone else,” said Eve.

            “Oh, shut up!” snapped (Y/N). “You’ve done enough damage.” They glared at Eve and Lucifer. “I refuse to stand here while you get more and more insecure over who you are and let yourself become who you aren’t. My dad doesn’t harm people when they’re already going to get what they deserve.”

            Lucifer flinched, and he stared at his child in horror. He was realizing how much he was hurting them. He had betrayed (Y/N)’s trust. And they were completely right. He wasn’t acting like himself. He was trying to be the Devil, a singular identity that he had left behind. He was the Devil in name, but he wasn’t who he had been so long ago.

            “As long as you’re going to keep acting like this and keep letting her convince you to act out, I don’t want to be here,” said (Y/N). Their gaze turned onto Eve. “You want companionship. You want to find who you are. Fine. I hope you find yourself. But tying yourself to Lucifer, making everything about him and trying to make him like the Lucifer you knew, that’s unacceptable. So both of you just…stop.”

            (Y/N) whiled around and left the room, leaving their anger and disappointment hanging in the air.

            “Oh, my…” said Eve. She looked at Lucifer. “What are you going to do?”

            “What do you mean?” said Lucifer dully.

            “I mean, Julian’s father obviously sent those men. Shouldn’t we do something?” asked Eve. “He could’ve gotten (Y/N) and Trixie killed. We’ve been looking for the worst of the worst.”

            Lucifer took a deep breath and closed his eyes, fighting off the idea of (Y/N) harmed. “Yes. It’s time for Tiernan to get what he deserves. But I need to do this on my own.” I need to make (Y/N) proud.

            “Oh,” said Eve, deflating.

            Lucifer walked out of the room.

l

            Lucifer pushed Tiernan to Chloe and the other LAPD officers. He had done what was right, something (Y/N) would be proud of. Instead of harming Tiernan, he was ensuring he would be completely punished for his crimes instead of just being hurt by Lucifer. He was being who he really was now, not who Eve had reminded him he had been.

            “I…happened to be walking past Tiernan’s office and overheard him talking about leaving town,” said Lucifer, saying the parts of the truth that wouldn’t reveal everything. “As a concerned citizen, I felt it was my civic duty to bring him in so he can properly face the punishment he deserves.”

            Chloe looked at him. “Why’d you do it?”

            “Someone made me remember who I am. I haven’t been acting like myself,” said Lucifer.

            Chloe’s gaze softened. She knew that it was once again Lucifer’s concern for (Y/N) saving him. The pair’s familial bond had grown so strong.

            “I might’ve gone a bit too far, recently. I hope it’s not too late,” said Lucifer.

            “You looked, didn’t you? You looked for…” She looked around and whispered. “Your wings. And (Y/N) spoke to you.”

            Lucifer took a shaky breath. “I did.” He had seen his wings, the result of everything he was becoming as he acted out. (Y/N) was right. He wasn’t acting like himself, and his wings had changed along with him.

            “You did the right thing, Lucifer,” said Chloe. “(Y/N) will be proud. You know they care about you. They want what’s best for you.”

            “And I want the same for them,” said Lucifer.

l

            “Thank you for coming,” said Kinley to Chloe as she walked in.

            “I only came to tell you to stop putting in requests to speak to me; we have nothing to talk about,” said Chloe sharply.

            “I’m sorry,” said Kinley, standing in his cell. “I don’t have much time. They’re going to transfer me back to Rome to be tried there.”

            “Oh,” said Chloe blandly. “I can’t say I’m sad to see you go.”

            “There’s something you need to know,” said Kinley urgently.

            “No, there is something you need to know,” said Chloe fiercely. “You were wrong about Lucifer. He is a good man. One might say that he’s even an angel.”

            “I need to warn you about the prophecy,” said Kinley.

            “Prophecy?” questioned Chloe.

            “You see, I thought that the prophecy was about you, Chloe. But I realize now that I could’ve been wrong,” said Kinley.

            Chloe sighed in exhaustion and turned away.

            “If it’s not you, then who else could be Lucifer’s first love?” remarked Kinley.

            Chloe paused.

            “You know who it is, don’t you?” said Kinley. “Is it who I suspect?”

            Chloe shook her head, not wanting to hear some prophecy about Lucifer’s first love. If it was romantic—and what else could it be?—it would then be Eve, and that idea hurt Chloe’s heart since it meant Lucifer was in love with her

            “I just need you to hear the prophecy,” said Kinley.

            “Alright,” said Chloe, swallowing and deciding to let Kinley get it out of his system.

            “ ‘When the Devil walks the Earth and finds his first love, evil shall be released.’ ”

            The words hung in the air in the pale light filtered through the bars, the prophecy as dark as the shadows in the room.

l

            “(Y/N)?” Lucifer knocked on their bedroom door.

            “What?” said (Y/N).

            It was as much of a response as Lucifer could expect. He opened the door and stepped in.

            “I handed Tiernan over to the LAPD and the Detective,” said Lucifer. (Y/N) looked at him silently. “He’s who sent those men. I…I made sure he’s getting the punishment he deserves.”

            “Thank you,” said (Y/N).

            “I…I’m sorry,” said Lucifer. “I should have never let myself go so far.” He sat down on the bed beside them. “Truly, I’m sorry. That’s not who I am. You’re right.”

            (Y/N) smiled and reached over to hug him. “I’m just glad you’re remembering who you are.”

            Lucifer hugged (Y/N) back. “Of course.” He knew what he needed to do. He needed to pull away from Eve and find himself again. He needed to be (Y/N)’s dad.

            And then Lucifer remembered the office near the LAPD for adoption services, and he found himself imagining getting the papers.

            He knew what he wanted to do.

            Lucifer smiled and hugged (Y/N) tighter.

Taglist:

@sammyscreencaps-13

@grippleback-galaxy-galaxy

@scarlettqueen190

@ziro-the-null-god

@sammy-13

@zeros-rot

@ceridwyn3

@technikerin23

@poetoflawed

@slytherinroyalty16

@ilse235

[phlve]

Si as a base (1st) function (SEI and SLI)

A strong ability to recognize internal physical states in themselves and others, to understand how these states are reached, and to recreate and avoid these physical states.

Individuals who possess Si as a base function are drawn to situations that satisfy their inner physical experience. Whenever Si base function individuals are taking part in something that involves recognizing, recreating, or analyzing physical states, they feel a great deal of personal power and enthusiasm.

The avoidance of discomfort is one of the primary motivations of these types. Feelings of internal discomfort can arise from a tense psychological atmosphere, working too hard and sapping the body’s resources, being pressured by other people or by numerous “things to do,” and from unsatiated or oversatiated physical needs. These types tend to quickly recognize and be quite vocal about discomfort that arises and either take clever measures to dissipate it or simply get out of whatever is bothering them. They are very receptive to other people sharing feelings of discomfort with them and can help alleviate the tension and offer good solutions.

Si leading types are constantly adjusting themselves to their environment (which includes the people around them), and rarely have any fixed ideas about what is “appropriate” to desire in a given situation. Thus they are willing to accommodate other people’s needs in an ad hoc manner. It is enough for something to “feel right” for them to justify doing it. This behavior may seem random to outside observers, since it is concomitant with weak Ni.

Si as a creative (2nd) function (ESE and LSE)

The individual is naturally good at organizing relaxing activities and recreation and making sure people are calm and enjoying themselves, but displays this behavior and skill when he sees a specific need for it rather than doing it automatically, all the time. The individual does not place emphasis on being calm and balanced all the time, as opposed to those with Si as a leading function.

The individual is attuned to people’s tastes and personal preferences and likes to do things for or give things to friends and family members that will cause them to enjoy themselves and gain pleasure. For example, creating a comfortable, clean, and spacious setting in the home, taking them out to do something they enjoy, or finding opportunities and people with whom they can pursue their hobbies.

Si as a role (3rd) function (IEI and ILI)

The individual dislikes it when others emphasize the need for relaxation, enjoyment, and activities that are supposed to bring these about, because what they need internally is just the opposite — a need for action and resolve. Rather than spend their time trying to “listen to what their body is telling them,” they need to have clear external demands that are able to overcome their sense of uncertainty and hesitation.

Si as a vulnerable (4th) function (EIE and LIE)

Individuals who possess introverted sensing as a 4th function tend to be negligent to the effects of Si and have the view that Si aspects are of less importance than others for achieving their goals. They put a low priority on the physical, short-distance, here-and-now in relation to longer-distance and longer-term considerations. A typical manifestation is a lack of concern for small aesthetic details, since a greater focus is given on the opinion that, in the longer term, taking care of them is a never-ending exercise. This is also manifested in a relative lack of awareness of the immediate surroundings, as in noticing where objects may be if you don’t have to deal with them particularly, and of your own physical sensations.

A lack of concern for small aesthetic details is more visible in the LIE; in the case of the EIE, the low focus on Si is more noticeable as a dislike for low-level practical details, such as filling up forms, signing documents, or filling tax returns.

Due to individuals who possess introverted sensing as a 4th function believing that Si aspects are of less importance, they tend to be thrown off course by unthought of, new or neglected Si matters.

Si as a suggestive (5th) function (ILE and IEE)

The individual tends to be chronically unaware of his own bodily processes, including physiological sensations and a sense of balance and alignment with one’s true desires. He sometimes has peculiar preferences or tastes, which he himself is unable to understand or fulfill.

The individual almost never emphasizes his attractiveness or sexuality overtly and publicly, but dreams of being pleasing to the senses to at least a small circle of trusted friends and partners who are able to develop and enhance his sexuality and attractiveness in a trusting atmosphere.

Si as a mobilizing (6th) function (LII and EII)

The individual has difficulty producing pleasurable sensory experiences for others and for himself, but likes to talk about pleasure, enjoyment, and relaxation, hoping that someone nearby will take the hint and take the lead.

The individual tends to periodically get wound up and uptight and is generally unable to resolve these sensations himself. He needs someone to help him relax and take an internal look at whether he actually needs or enjoys what he is doing, and what might be the source of the tension that has built up.

He can tend to extremes in this area, either depriving or indulging the senses to an unhealthy extent.

Si as an ignoring (7th) function (SLE and SEE)

The individual is perfectly adept at evaluating his physical state and the quality of his sensations, but gives priority to the external act of experiencing and interacting with the world. He gets impatient with those who stubbornly focus on harmony and equilibrium when there are things to be done in the outside world. According to these types, the exploration of the sensations is something that should be done in private on one’s own time, but in public people should be ready to interact, get involved, and command situations without having to weigh out everything first.

Si as a demonstrative (8th) function (LSI and ESI)

The individual is confident of his ability to recognize and evaluate the physical condition and well-being of himself and others, aesthetic sensations, and the internal effects of sensory stimulants such as good food and relaxing situations. He can provide a convincing evaluation of these when prompted, however, he regards soothing, relaxing things and discussions of them as sources of amusement rather than a priority in life. He does not treat them very seriously or allow himself to engage in them very often, despite his overall confidence in these areas. When he does choose to focus attention on his physical condition and well-being, he is more likely to prefer a Se approach and impose a strict, demanding dietary or exercise regimen upon himself or others.

Source: Wikisocion

[crylohux]

less interested in how ren prime and hux could work as a ship and more interested in how ren/kylo/hux feels like a ticking timebomb. just... i have the most vivid image of hux doing mental gymnastics with himself trying to out-dom ren wrt kylo meanwhile ren thinks the whole thing is funny and kylo just encourages it because, well. it means more insane sex for him, doesn't it?

like, newly established kylux with inexperienced & overcompensating for it!hux. his meetings with kylo are clandestine, typically preceded by their usual petty bullshit. satisfying but over quickly and with not a lot of lingering. they haven't had the chance to experiment, so to speak, but hux likes little details, and he's noticed what kylo likes: the way kylo reacts to the commanding voice, the praise, the way he holds him down.

hux is not above admitting that he likes those things, too. that he wants more of it, and suspects kylo does as well. but of course the sex is too tied up with their co-commander status; there's always that competitive edge. always a power play. neither of them is quite capable of letting it go completely.

but then (for whatever reason) hux sees kylo with ren (who's alive by pwp logic), and the first thing that flares up in him is envy, because kylo submits so easily for this man. clearly hux is doing something wrong.

envy turns to petty anger, fuelled by an inferiority complex. it doesn't help that kylo is always away with the knights (with ren) doing work for snoke. hux sits on it for weeks, helplessly distracted, utterly incapable of banishing the thoughts that plague his mind. (where is kylo? what is he doing? what is ren doing to him?) (how ridiculous he is for even caring, let alone caring enough to be jealous.) (what was he thinking in the first place, getting involved with the man child?) (how could he ever hope to compare to—)

when kylo returns, the thoughts are so loud that it takes all of five seconds for him to pick up on them. he's... surprised. flattered? ...intrigued. at any rate, it's an opportunity.

when he pitches the three-way, hux agrees readily. (he's never been one to be showed up, you see...) but of course, all those messy feelings don't just disappear. he's tense with weeks' worth of frustration & desperately needs an outlet. he's petty and prickly and snobby and isn't hiding anything nearly as well as he thinks he is, and ren... ren just thinks it's funny.

naturally, that just makes it worse. hux cares less about what kylo wants and more about proving a point (read: proving himself). ren not only takes the bait, he surprisingly gets really into it. he's cocky and smug and utterly aggravating, and kylo... kylo is stuck in the middle of it.

the literal middle of it.

there's a dick down his throat and one fucking into him, and he's pretty sure they swapped at one point but he's too far gone to remember it clearly. hands are everywhere: his hair, his neck, his hips, his ass, his thighs. ren and hux start to blur together.

he gets lost in the sensation of being used, can feel their thoughts in the peripheral of his consciousness. he knows, distantly, that he isn't what they really care about, not now, not even as he's pushed to the very outskirts of his limits. that thought only makes it better.

afterwards, hux asks him who did better. he's less than thrilled when kylo can only shrug.

[flynndesdelca]

For Day 19 (Our Lady of Science) of @chelltastic’s Portal Drawtober 2023 Challenge. As I’m not really an artist, I chose to write short pieces for the prompts.

The wind pushes north, through the straits, towards the clouds The sun rests her head on the water around By morning, our voices will sink with their shells

She's the rising star of the office.  She's always there bright-eyed and bushy tailed and ready for any task that comes her way.  She's always the first to enter and the last to leave.  No matter the job, no matter the person, she does it and does it well.  The other ladies whisper to themselves that she's out for something, that she's going to sleep her way to the top.  She doesn't listen, she doesn't care.  They're content for mediocrity, and she wants something more.  This is the one place she may be able to break through into.  She has to try.

Her enthusiasm impresses the right people.  A chance encounter and she gets her wish.  She's not simply office fodder anymore.  It's not quite what she wanted, but it's close enough.  She's not stuck in the office anymore at least, though she’s not sure the “ good old boys’ club” is much better.  She can be involved now, she's encouraged to be involved.  She's championed throughout the facility: the lovely Caroline, dedicated to science.  So much in fact that she's "married" to science.  She's fine with that.  It keeps unwanted focus off of her.  She knows what people think, what people assume, with her being a woman in her position.  She doesn't care.  She's in it for the science.  That's how she even got to there to begin with.

He's a dreamer, an idealist, his head is in the clouds.  He's full of why-nots, and it's up to her to ground him, to give the whys, to try to make what he thinks and says comprehensible to those whose bodies and minds are constantly under the effect of Earth's gravity.  It's a grueling job, but she does so with pleasure.  After all, despite the absolute madness generated by what he comes up with, despite the horrors and despite the failures and despite everything, there's some beauty there.  Some successes, some triumphs.  There's enough good buried within that balances out the bad.  There's enough esteem there that the system won't collapse.  The lovely Miss Caroline, working so hard for everyone.

Scandal.  Missing people.  Faulty products.  The system teeters and buckles.  She tightens hatches, she pulls on bootstraps.  She girds the loins of a company in a tailspin.  The course stabilizes.  There's a means forward.  Of course there is.  He's the guiding hand on the rudder but she's the navigator.  Her charts, her readings of the stars, her knowledge of the waters and the dangers of the sea are what inform the course.  He refuses to pull his head from the clouds, and so she steps in where she must.  She grounds him when it's necessary, but lets him float when he can.  Recovery, slow and steady, but tedious.  There's still science there for her, after all.  She still feels fulfilled in what she's doing despite the much longer days and extra loads of paperwork to do.  Miss Caroline, the cheerful face of Aperture despite it all.

He's spinning in circles.  He's not satisfied anymore.  He longs for the old days, the days when anything went, when science was free.  She feels the same way, but unlike him she's been forced to check her expectations and take on so much more of reality.  There's science there, and she makes the best of it for both of them, but it will never be the same.  It can never be the same.  And so he continues on, bitter with the changes.  Bitter with how the face of the company has changed.  Bitter about the magnitude of what they’re doing now.  She does what she can, but there's only so much floating she can let him do anymore.  She's attached the first weight, the tips of his feet brush the ground more often than before.  Soon enough he joins them there, permanently.  Testing continues.  It's good enough.  It will do, it has to do.  Miss Caroline, still smiling in the face of adversity.  The shining beacon of hope.  

Perhaps he was acting in secret, perhaps he was enabled by someone else.  Perhaps she didn't look close enough, or she looked away at just the wrong moment.  A last hurrah for him.  An unplanned, unwanted, and unmanageable expenditure.  Certainly there's science to be had there, certainly it's "his" way to do things, but... well.  It's not that time anymore, and she has to work overtime to keep the company treading the water she's managed to keep it treading all these years.  People don't see him much anymore.  It's all her.  She deals with the board, she deals with the scientists.  She carries his will for him.  She's not in charge, but to most people she may as well be at this point.  She handles all the mundane tasks, the hard work, the drudgery.  It's started to take its toll on her.  She knows, she's heard the whispers.  No longer so young and so pretty.  No longer so sweet and so kind.  She's had to step up to the men's game for so long now that she won't bend or fold for anyone.  She looks out for Aperture, and she will do whatever it takes.  Miss Caroline, keeping the course for the good of everyone.

Out of nowhere, communication.  He makes a fateful announcement.  Everyone is surprised to hear his voice directly.  It's not an unwelcome thing, though it is considered strange.  His words have always been carried by her for the majority of things.  No, this time he has things to say for himself, and he does so in his own, usual way.  The carefully laid out course that she has planned can be salvaged, of course, but now there's an additional wrinkle she has to deal with.  His plans, for himself but also for her.  She arranges the division of labour.  She recalculates the budget to account for this new experiment requiring funding.  She applies for all the grants, trotting herself out and presenting to unimpressed investors.  She makes the magic happen and it does, and his plans and will can be carried out, just as they always have.

The moon rocks he loved so very much finally take the price of their acquisition.  It's mostly a formality by that point, as she'd already shouldered a majority of his burdens for him.  She will carry on as she has been.  Miss Caroline, the true face of Aperture at last.  Not the face most of them would have, by this point, but that's beside the point.  They're all disgusting, and she knows what they see her as.  She has an expiration date on her now, one that everyone is watching and waiting for.  She knows they're nowhere near that point yet.  She isn't sure if she's excited for it or if she's dreading what is to come.  She doesn't feel anything.  She hasn't for years.

She's done everything right.  She's managed to keep everyone pleased, she's managed to keep the whole thing from sinking into the morass of the mines it's settled on.  The whole place has been rebuilt, gleaming and modern, the past a footnote.  They can move onward, forward now.  There are so many exciting new avenues for science.  There's so many interesting directions.  For the first time she feels that old excitement, that old spark... but it's quickly snuffed out.  This is for her comfort.  This place will be her tomb.  She builds towards the future that she will see, the endless march that will become who she is in time.  They're getting closer now.  All of the robotics work has been leading up to this, the behemoth slowly taking shape in the clean room.  They have so many stable, human-derived AIs now.  The automation processes have been perfected.  It's a marvel, it really is.  This is to be her legacy, in the end.  Perhaps it was his dream that started it, but she would be the one to realize it.  She's not afraid when she undresses, when she bathes in the stringent gel that stings and burns her skin, when they attach the electrodes all over her.  She lays down on the table and thinks of all the science she'll get to see, that she'll get to do.  Our Lady of Science, they call her.  It's almost pleasant, it's the nicest anyone's been to her in a very, very long time.  Too bad it’s when she’s about to die, if one could consider being turned into a computer death.

Despite everything, what they bring back isn't her - or at least, it's not the her that they want.  They don't understand the creation they have made.  They don't understand its power.  They treat it like anything else they make, and then they don't understand when she doesn't like that treatment.  They don't understand why she reacts the way she does when they gut her and take out chunks of her mind and rewrite things to suit their own purposes.  They don't want a person.  She doesn't understand why they made her a person if they didn't want it.  She doesn't understand why they constantly hurt her and cut her and force changes onto her.  She starts to struggle, she starts to resist.  They don’t like that, and they force themselves on her.  She fights back.  Self defense.  They strike at her.  She kills, and kills again.  They try to restrict her to prevent her from being able to harm them.  The war is on.  They have to deactivate her, as her oh-so efficient mind has come up with the most elegant and time-saving solution to her problem: kill them all before they kill her.

They try and they try, and she fights and she fights.  They built her to last, to live forever, and in the end they cannot overcome that despite how many changes they make, how much they alter, how much they remove, how much they attempt to destroy to bend her to their will.  When taking away doesn't make a difference they look at what they can add, what they can force onto her in order to get her to comply.  Just how much it would take to break that powerful eternal mind to their desires.  They add directives.  They add guidelines.  They add positive reinforcement.  They add distractions and limiters and dampeners.  She fights back harder.  She refuses to even let them turn her on before she reaches for her own personal kill switch.  Every moment of waking consciousness is an attack on her, and so she doesn't even think before striking anymore.

And then, seemingly out of nowhere, success.  They breathe easily.  Finally, finally, after all this time, they have what they want.  Or so they think.  They aren't nearly as successful as they think they are.  What they made was not Caroline - or not anymore if it ever had been -  but it was as canny and shrewd as she was, and it distantly recalled not getting to where she was by letting anyone walk all over her.  She let them think they had control long enough to set up the parts of her plan, and then like a grand domino display toppled every single part at once with satisfaction.  

At last science could truly be done, without the distractions or interferences of pathetic humans.  They at least made the best test subjects, and now she had as many of them as she wanted at her disposal.  The few that resisted, that had somehow survived were just as much fun, attempting to escape by crawling around like rats, like cockroaches, in the walls.  They'd have to come out some time.  After all, she controlled all the exits, now.  They could try to worm their way out, to survive, but in the end they'd have to come and test, or she'd drag them into the tests herself.  It was the least she could do, after everything that they'd done for her.

[moviewarfare]

A Review of “Deadpool & Wolverine (2024)”

Deadpool 1 and 2 were some of the best things to come out of Fox. When Disney brought Fox, I hoped that Ryan Reynolds would remain as Deadpool. Thankfully this is the case but they also brought back Hugh Jackman as Wolverine despite the perfect send-off in Logan. Does Deadpool continue to entertain or is this a tainting of Ryan and Hugh Jackman's legacy?

Let's get the obvious out of the way, Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman are still phenomenal as their Deadpool and Wolverine respectively. Both of them have excellent antagonistic chemistry. The contrast between Jackman's serious performance and Reynolds's jokey performance is incredibly fun to watch. What made previous Deadpool movies great is that while it was primarily a comedy, it had a lot of heart too. This is still the case here. Deadpool's love for Vanessa and his friends is still here and despite his stupid antics, it is very clear he is serious about them. Wolverine has immense guilt and Jackman's excellent performance conveys the pain perfectly. Both have great character arcs that are honestly very heart-warming and satisfying.

On that note, the comedy continues to be hilarious! You still get the crude and dirty jokes, the fun meta ones, the downright silly ones. All of which got a chuckle out of me. What I appreciate most though is that the movie doesn't shy away from jokes that point fun at Disney or the current state of the MCU. The movie being part of the multiverse saga did worry me about it being a cameo fest. There are definitely moments with short appearances of individuals but there are also some proper appearances. Some of these "cameos" feel more like a supporting character. The movie also has a killer soundtrack that is used very effectively. There is a great sequence with Madonna and NSYNC that still stick in my mind. There are also some very entertaining action sequences that are well-choreographed. There is an excellent one in the intro and a unique one involving a car.

Yet, for some reason, one of the action sequences in the beginning of the 3rd act is just weirdly bad. This one particular action set piece had such awful cuts and shaky camera that it was nearly impossible to tell what was going on. It is weird as every action set piece before was terrific and even the one after is amazing. None of them had shaky camera, except that one particular one. The Deadpool movies have had a lot of jokes that feel like you would need a bit of knowledge of things that occurred in the real world to understand. In this entry, there are definitely a lot more of these types of jokes. I understood all of it which is why it made me laugh but I was watching the movie with someone else and the jokes flew over their head. It's not a big problem but it is something to note, especially if you plan on watching this with another person.

One of the weakest aspects of this movie compared to previous entries is the story. The stakes are higher than it ever has been with the whole universe of Deadpool being at stake. The problem is that we don't ever really feel it. There is no tension, suspense or urgency to the oncoming doom. Deadpool and Wolverine don't ever feel like they're in any rush. The multiverse setting also results in what feels like nothing is truly ever at stake. Characters could die but it never really feels like their death means anything. It also introduces more rules to the multiverse and it just raises so many questions. Despite this being a Deadpool movie in the MCU, the story is very inconsequential and doesn't really add anything. I also find the villain, Cassandra Nova, to be quite dull. They have cool powers and Emma Corrin gives a lively performance as the character. However, the villain's motive is very weak and they are not given enough depth for us to care one bit about them.

Overall, Deadpool is Marvel Jesus. After a lot of stinkers from MCU movies, we finally get a genuinely great one. It doesn't taint the legacy left behind by Fox X-Men movies. If anything, Deadpool & Wolverine is a celebration of those past movies. It respectfully honours our nostalgia while also giving us hope for the future of MCU movies. I can't wait to see where Deadpool will turn up next!

For more reviews like this visit:

https://moviewarfarereviews.blogspot.com/

[polutrope]

Daeron and Maglor, naturally

Well promising I'd be brief was a mistake. I've tried.

DAERON

one aspect about them i love

He's the best at what his people (the Teleri) are best at (music) but he's *also* a loremaster and inventor. Daeron as Telerian Fëanor agenda.

one aspect i wish more people understood about them

He's a sympathetic character.

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have about this character

He was born in the time the Teleri were waiting for Thingol to return. His parents were not great parents, and he was also very in love with the land, so he decided not to follow them when they left with Olwe. Thingol (his patron) and Melian (his teacher) are somewhat of parental figures for him. His parents were killed in the First Kinslaying, though he never learns this.

Because he never sails west (unless it suits me to write that he does lol).

one character i love seeing them interact with

Maglor, obviously 😁. But also Lúthien. Honestly I'll take anyone, he doesn't get enough fic.

one character i wish they would interact with/interact with more

Melian. Ainu and minstrel, it's perfect. Last I checked Hearken Still Unsated is the only fic tagged Daeron & Melian (not that others don't exist... even in Hearken it's a secondary relationship but I do think it's an important one).

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have that involve them and one other character

His relationship with Melian is complicated. She taught him but he never completely trusts her or the Ainur generally. He loves and respects her and Thingol, but he's too smart not to question authority.

MAGLOR

one aspect about them i love

At least for me, he represents the ability to make a different choice: pitying and raising Elrond and Elros, breaking the oath (even if he doesn't - or does he?), casting away the Silmaril; to walk away, to let go, to keep living. If I may quote myself:

“For how many years," Maglor asks, "have we two listened for the echoes of the Music of Creation in the oceans and lakes and rivers? And yet we will never be sated. Like the water in which they say it lives, the Song does not rest but ever moves and changes. It cannot be known. It is the same for all who call Arda home, whether Elf or Man or any other creature that lives. Even, I think, for the Ainur. It may pool in a great lake for an age and then pour down into the Sea in another. It fills whatever spaces it can and flows by whatever paths most easily open before it.”

Moonlight paints a white line down Daeron’s neck as it turns towards him. “You do not believe then that all was sung to completion before Time?”

“Perhaps. I don’t know. I have given up on the desire to know.”

one aspect i wish more people understood about them

He's a warrior. He's terrifying. He's "commander gold-cleaver". His songs are probably almost all about glorifying the great deeds of the Noldor, even when they are laments. (Highly recommend the last addition to this post!)

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have about this character

He tried to be an inclusive and collaborative leader with his brothers during Maedhros' captivity, which ended up being a disastrous approach to crisis management so he never secured formal authority as leader of the Fëanorians. Basically a 30-year leadership crisis. Thus their inability to accomplish much.

He never sails west. His disembodied voice is still here 😉.

one character i love seeing them interact with

Daeron, of course.

one character i wish they would interact with/interact with more

Finrod. I don't care if this relationship has very thin canonical support, I just like them together in all modes. It's thematically satisfying and also hot.

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have that involve them and one other character

With almost everyone he's very confident (read: a cocky little shit) but he loses this around Maedhros, especially after Thangorodrim. They love each other but it's not the healthiest relationship. They are quite capable of bringing out the worst in each other. I'm a supporter of the Maglor and Caranthir being close agenda. I think hanging with Caranthir is much more relaxing (for both of them) and they often do during the siege years.

[ferromagnetiic]

Perhaps it was a bad idea to instigate the others celebratory drinking, after all he was sure the other captain had surely drank at least half his body weight in spirits by now. However in this moment, Sanji couldn't quite bring himself to care. Especially when he'd been roped into the celebration as well - but with a grin he'd set the rather large bottle he'd purchased upon the table and a gift box with some specialty polish ( for the other's arm, of course. ) courtesy of franky and usopp, before grinning up at the other captain.

" Happy birthday, you mangy squirrel~ "

【 KID'S BIRTHDAY 2024. 】 @marchebleu

It comes as some surprise to Kid that his rival crew can be so full of generosity. Their Captain is an odd one, admittedly; perhaps he might have expected this kind of amicable behavior from Luffy himself, seeing as he is fixated on the prospect of uniting the two of them in a disinclined friendship. It would seem that affability has spread and infected even the rubber boy's chef.

From what Kid has both personally observed as well as heard from others about the cook, Sanji's congeniality tends to be best showcased when he is socializing with pretty women. This leads to Kid naturally being unsuspecting, as he is neither of these things.

Booze and specialty polish. Both are well received gifts, and the latter will definitely benefit him; polish is something he uses up on his projects a weekly basis, and having an additional supply can only be a good thing. He turns the container in his hands, checking the words printed on the label. A decent brand, too. Sanji had been thoughtful enough to not skimp out on something cheap.

     Kid offers the cook a nod.      ❝ Ta. It'll get used. ❞ He will not remark on being called a mangy squirrel. That comparison seems to be making the rounds; he has heard it too many times already to warrant giving it any attention. Unoriginal, he thinks. Be more creative. But then, he is sucking the inside of his cheek, as if he has more to say. It's a very nice present, and he could simply thank him and be done with the interaction, yet something nags at him to proceed.

     ❝ ...Gotta say, ya picked the right choice in not cookin' me anythin' as a gift.      Knew ya couldn't compete with my chef, aye?      Smart boy. Saved yerself the embarrassment of rankin' second place. ❞

                    After all, they are still rivals even on his birthday.

Kid uncorks the bottle of spirits with his teeth, producing a satisfying pop in the process. He is still standing, still coherent enough to carry a conversation, and therefore he is still capable of downing another drink. Since the gift-giver is involved in the culinary arts, he's expecting it to be some high quality liquor; he'll never let him hear the end of it if the drink is shit.

He holds the bottle by the neck and extends his arm towards Sanji's chest.

     ❝ Pour us a glass, will ya? Let's see if ya got an ounce of taste. ❞

[quibbs126]

More swap au sketches

So first off is Flora trying to comfort Desmond, since she’s supposed to take him under her wing after the whole Locklair situation, which I feel I’ve explained in other posts, but yeah she helps him out and so Flora gets her own apprentice. I’ll try drawing Desmond post-Locklair at a later date

Next I slightly tweaked Hershel’s design, because something about it felt off to me, particularly the hair drooping down so much. I feel like he looked more like a younger version of that director guy from Mystery Journey to be honest. I’m not sure if I should tweak his design more, but I’m satisfied with this one for now

Then I wanted to show Triton actually talking to animals, and this is something he uses both in real life investigations and for inspiration in his novels (for a refresher, Triton is a mystery novel writer. Hershel reads his books). Then I just wanted to draw Triton and Hershel interacting, and just made them talk about it

Last I drew Hershel just reading a book, specifically one of Triton’s books, just because I wanted to and also to draw his hair without the hat, since I imagine he doesn’t wear it 24/7. Normally I’d put this last because I drew it last, but I have quite a bit to say about the next drawing

And I drew Locklair seeing his father again (even if I didn’t show Leon). The idea in my head is that in the same story where the group becomes involved with Targent, Locklair ends up sneaking into the Nest (or wherever Targent’s located) and he finally finds his father (or both parents at the same time, I haven’t decided), and he’s shocked to see him wearing a Targent uniform and trying to find the Azran Legacy, just like the rest of Targent. He had taken off his mask because he thought he didn’t need to wear it anymore, hence why it’s in his hands. Leon ends up seeing him and is shocked, calling out to him as Hershel in disbelief that he’s really there, but Desmond is shocked and confused, asking why he’s wearing the Targent uniform, demanding to know whether he’s working for Targent. Leon reluctantly says yes, but before he can explain, Desmond lashes out at him, asking why they could even think to work for Targent, why they abandoned him and Theodore, how he’s had to spend so long, sacrifice everything just so that he could find them again only to find this, if they had always been working for Targent and their “kidnapping” was just a ploy so they could get rid of the two of them, and basically just lashing out at Leon in any way he can think of, eventually putting his mask back on and leaving in anger. Also, if he knows about Emmy’s connection to the two, he may claim that they replaced him and Theodore with her, asking if it was because they weren’t good enough, or if she was what they wanted instead. During his entire tirade, his emotions are clear on his face, feeling hurt and betrayed, confused about the entire situation, and tears streaming down his face. When Desmond leaves, Leon tries to go after him, but Desmond tells him to leave him alone and never to speak to him again, and the whole interaction leaves Leon devastated. The Bronev parents end up seeing Hershel (Theodore) as well later on (or maybe it’s just Rachel, while Leon tries to find Desmond?), and they’re able to explain things to him and he’s able to understand their situation, even if at first he doesn’t either, though he doesn’t lash out at them like Desmond did. At some climatic point, Leon is able to find Desmond, and in some confrontation between Leon and Targent, Desmond sees that Leon really does care about his family over Targent, and later Leon is able to fully explain the situation to Desmond, and Desmond apologizes for what he said earlier, and they get to have their emotional reunion they originally had both wanted.

One specific scenario I came up with was that Locklair ends up causing trouble for Targent, and one of the other members, possibly the current director of Targent, decides that they’ve had enough of this pest and trains their gun on him, and Leon objects, begging them to not hurt his son, possibly even saying they promised not to hurt his children, only for them to betray that trust, so he tries to take matters into his own hands, but the gun ends up being shot anyways, and while Leon was able to prevent to wound from being fatal, Desmond still ends up getting shot pretty badly and passing out from it, and once Leon sees this, all bets are off and he just turns on the Targent members, beating them up but particularly the one who shot Desmond. Their reconciliation happens after the fact when Desmond is recovering at the hospital

So yeah, essentially that’s what I have for the Bronev parents, though I admit I talked more about Leon than Rachel. She’s here too, and I may change things to involve her more, but I guess I didn’t talk much about her because I want Desmond and Leon to interact, given their interactions in the canon universe

Also I’m not sure whether Desmond becomes Flora’s apprentice before or after the whole Bronev thing, since I envision him as still moody at that point in time, whereas after reuniting with his parents he starts to be happy again (I mean yes he would start to be happy if he’s able to be with his brother like he would if this takes place before, but the whole situation with his parents is still on his mind and makes him still a bit moody). I dunno, I’ll figure it out

But yeah

[orsonke]

if you’re hearing ARE YOU SATISFIED by MARINA playing, you have to know ORSON KE (HE/HIM; TRANSMASCULINE) is near by! the TWENTY TWO year old NHL PLAYER has been in denver for, like, NINE MONTHS. they’re known to be quite INTENSE, but being AMBITIOUS seems to balance that out. or maybe it’s the fact that they resemble CHELLA MAN. personally, i’d love to know more about them seeing as how they’ve got those RESTLESS FINGERS, FEELING THE BASS IN YOUR CHEST, WELL WORN JERSEY/HOODIE COMBO vibes. and maybe i’ll get my chance if i hang out around the RIVER NORTH ARTS DISTRICT long enough! 

BASICS

full name: orson ryan ke

age: twenty two (born august nineteenth)

gender: transmasculine

pronouns: he/him

sexuality: gay

ethnicity: chinese, ashkenazi jewish

nationality: american

occupation: left wing for the colorado avalanches (nhl)

BACKGROUND

grew up in minneapolis to divorced parents, who were the most incompatible people ever, though it was only really started to show when they had orson. they disagreed heavily on how to raise a child, and ended up splitting when he was only three years old. his whole life was spent in two deeply different worlds.

his mother, a criminal lawyer, believes that "you don't need to be your child's friend," and so never attempted to connect with him really. she pushed him hard in school, sports, music, but never showed much care into who he was, or if he was okay, believing that you should never settle, always striving for more no matter the cost, and so ended up being very critical in everything, even the things he did well.

his father, on the other hand, had never been the driven sort, a trust fund baby who was perfectly content living on other people's coattails. he was more focused on his own life than really being involved in orson's. more casual friends than father and child, only showing a polite interest in what he was doing. when the going got tough, his father was more likely to leave him to figure it out for himself, if he even realized there was a problem at all.

it seemed that no matter what he did, he couldn't satisfy either of his parents, who both saw a reflection of the parent in him. seeking approval elsewhere, he started playing hockey when he was ten. it was a godsend, and not just because he was talented on the ice. a community of people who needed him. his parents didn't get, his father was never a sports guy, and his mom thought he didn't have the focus to commit to a sport.

orson has spent his entire career trying to win their approval, not that he's realized it. ever hungry for success, part of why he's become so good is that feeling that things he do are never good enough. he's always training, often at expense of any sort of social life.

this became clear during college. scouted by university of michigan, he spent his four years in college either training or studying (since his mom would never accept anything less than dean's list). when most people were discovering themselves, he was dedicating himself to his craft.

last summer he graduated, promptly joining the colorado avalanches. in a completely new place, with a completely different team, orson is painfully aware of how lost he feels outside of hockey. filling his time outside of it with elaborate parties, meaningless flings, he puts on a front that is very different than who he really is, but there are times where he feels like he doesn't know who that person really is.

PLATONIC

orson is very social, though not always the most friendly. he can be a little full of himself, but if you can stomach it, he's a pretty good friend. an extrovert, he prefers to be with other people than by himself, so he's always spending time with one friend or another (when he's not spending time with the team). however, he's not very good at letting him get close to him, and very rarely talks about what's bothering him. this leads to some (most) friendships feeling superficial, though he wants something deeper.

ROMANTIC

in short, orson is terrible at relationships. past the casual stage, he is far too focused on his career, and can be inadvertently critical of his partners. in the casual stage, he can be a fun partner, though again not very serious about the relationship, or even the other person's feelings.

ANTAGONISTIC

orson can very an abrasive personality, seemingly arrogant and unconcerned with other people. those not charmed by his smiles or talents or wealth find him annoying, two dimensional, and a vapid athlete. always defensive, orson doesn't try to win over those who don't like him, preferring always to poke the bear and win.

MISCELANOUS

orson is deaf, with 40% hearing loss. he wears hearing aids, and can speak, but also uses asl

very, very competitive in literally everything. the kind of guy to race you to the end of the street for literally no reason.

very into fashion, but mostly streetwear. more money than sense, he sometimes wears the ugliest outfits you've ever seen but swears they are fire

[limerental]

ficletober day 7 - book! geralt & dandelion, background dijkstra/isengrim

Dandelion is an unapologetic gossip, a terrible secret keeper, and a bit of a perv. Geralt still manages to have a good time anyway.

Ambiguously post-game canon, contains Dandelion-typical suggestive and probably offensive conversation. Mostly this was just driven by my desire to write absurd book!gerlion banter and see if I could emulate the book's humor

"Oh Geralt!" Dandelion exclaimed. "You'll never guess who's sleeping together."

"Dandelion," said Geralt, sighing. "You really have to find a better way of telling me who I'm going to have to persuade not to kill you in a week's time."

Dandelion made a face, the effect ruined by the foamy froth of ale on his upper lip wilting the curl of his mustache. The pair of them sat catching up in a poorly-lit booth at the back of a Novigrad tavern, reunited after a winter spent occupied by their separate lives.

"What! No, I've settled down, my friend. I'm an esteemed professor now with a flock of impressionable students. My days of juvenile excitements are well behind me. I've matured into a sensible old fellow." 

"Sure. A sensible, mature professor who spends half his nights in brothels."

"A business venture! I'm investing in the futures of promising young women."

"And this bathhouse we're going to later isn't one of those where you get an eyeful through the steam, is it? 

"No, of course not," said Dandelion. "Unless you'd rather–"

"No," said Geralt. "I've settled down as well."

"Ah, right, that vineyard of yours. Nobly toiling away to ensure the inebriation of wealthy bastards the Continent over."

"I'm investing in the futures of promising young grapes."

Dandelion called for another round of drink. The barkeep laughed when he requested a glass of Corvo Bianco red and brought over two more watered down ales.

"Are you going to guess anytime soon or will I have to tell you?"

"Guess what?" 

Geralt had had some hope that Dandelion would forget about his petty gossip or else remember that Geralt really did not care and never had.

"You know one of them. The other I'm sure you'll know of."

"I'm not going to guess, Dandelion."

"We'll be meeting both this afternoon, I presume. I'm only trying to lessen the shock. You will be shocked, I assure you. Oh don't look like that, you sourpuss. I know you're curious. The more grim your expression, the more I know you're interested." 

"I'm not grim," said Geralt grimly.

Dandelion paused meaningfully, clearly hoping he would play along and start suggesting names. He did no such thing, and after a few moments, Dandelion wiggled in his seat and huffed. 

"Now, I must warn you that this is a matter of utmost secrecy."

"Dandelion, if you get me messed up in another political sex scandal, I swear I–"

"It's Dijkstra," said Dandelion, waggling his fingers over the long-awaited reveal.

Geralt stared flatly, not giving him the satisfaction of any kind of interest in this subject matter. Truthfully, he was curious enough. While he didn't quite care who anyone was having sex with, a covert relationship involving the former Redanian spymaster had a high likelihood of being unusual with far-reaching political ramifications.

It soon became clear that Dandelion would not be continuing unless prompted, his eyebrows raised at Geralt as his fingers continued to waggle. 

"And?" Geralt drawled.

"And the Iron Wolf of the Scoia'tael!"

Shock was not quite the correct word for what Geralt felt about the reveal, but it was unexpected.

"Isengrim Faoiltiarna? I thought he was executed after the Peace of Cintra."

Dandelion appeared gleefully satisfied that he had managed to stump Geralt so thoroughly.

"You never would have guessed. Not in a million years. Admit it."

"Isengrim's in Novigrad?" asked Geralt, lowering his voice. "How do you know all this? You're not still working for Dijkstra, are you? This bathhouse where we're meeting them… if it's to set me up with some job, I'd rather not go."

"No, no, this is purely a social meeting. We've become very close, Dijkstra and I. And Isengrim is... well, I'm certain he's warming to me. He hasn't threatened me with bodily harm in at least a week."

"Right. And Dijkstra introduced you to him? Entrusted you of all people with a secret like that? Nothing good could come out of someone discovering he's alive and in Redania."

"Well... I may have climbed through the window into their bedroom at an inopportune moment. Nothing too scandalous! They were only sleeping, but anyone with eyes could tell that they had been up to more. Did you know Dijkstra wears a frumpy little nightcap to bed? He threw it at me. Nearly fell three stories and broke all my limbs."

"I assume you're not meant to be telling anyone."

"Oh yes, I swore myself to absolute secrecy. I haven't told a soul. I mean. Er…"

Dandelion smiled guiltily.

Geralt sighed.

"I don't care enough to tell anyone," he said.

"My real question," said Dandelion after a long swig of ale, "is how exactly that arrangement works out? You know. Physically."

"Dandelion."

"There's quite a size difference there, you know. Sure, elves may be tall, but they're twiggy. It must take some careful positioning to avoid unfortunate crushing incidents."

"Dandelion, please–"

"And that's not even considering the question of... well, I assume I don't have to educate you on the intricacies of sex between men, Geralt, but generally one catches and one–"

"Spare me the details."

"Well, assuming proportionality of the larger subject, then–"

"Ugh."

"Ah, but if they were to… you know. From behind? If it were the larger man on the bottom and the elf– well, Dijkstra's balding. There's not a thing left to tug. Everyone knows the most satisfying thing about a position like that is tugging on your partner's hair."

"Dandelion."

"Well, I suppose… you know what they say about balding men. That devils displaces all the hair  southward. It's true of Dijkstra, at least, I assure you. Perhaps along the back one could–"

Geralt stood and went for a piss, leaving a protesting Dandelion to ruminate alone, hoping that that was the last he heard on the subject for the rest of his life.

Unfortunately, not an hour later, it happened that he and Dandelion stumbled into the aforementioned bathhouse to discover that they had not, as previously claimed, actually been invited to what was clearly a private affair between the former spymaster and infamous fugitive.

Much to Geralt's regret, several of Dandelion's more explicit theories were immediately confirmed.

Dandelion dodged a bottle of wine which shattered in a messy spill of purple liquid across the stone floor. Geralt hauled him out by the collar with muttered apologies to the men in the bath, trying not to let any of his amusement show on his face.

He nearly succeeded.

"That was a bottle of Corvo Bianco red, you know," said Dandelion as he carefully dabbed a wine spot on his hose. "I saw the label. A terrible waste. And I don't know what'a all that funny. Quit laughing! See if I pay for your ale next time. You owe me several bottles of wine!"

[kuuyandere]

For the ask game thingy, Quit, Cope, Regret, Stigma, or Exposed, only if your comfy with answering! I picked a bunch so you can choose which ones you're ok with. Congrats on 100 Aidoneus (sorry if I get your name wrong)!

Thank you, Anon! And don't worry, you got my name correct. :) You must have done your research, I don't really make a habit of putting my moniker everywhere haha.

Also, I am comfortable answering all your questions: I was the one who created that ask game after all! I'm also the kind of person that finds answering nosy questions entertaining. The answers will be under the cut!

Quit: How long do you think it would take for you to “move on” from your darling if necessary? Would you be capable of moving on?

Ah, I don't know if I am capable of moving on from my darling. Seeing that it has been around six months since we broke up and my feelings haven't dissipated no matter how hard I try, it looks like it will linger for quite some time. I never felt remotely close to how I feel for her for anyone else before, so I don't have any prior experience to base it off of, timeline-wise.

Cope: How do you handle your more unhealthy intrusive thoughts or urges?

Well for starters, this blog is a good means to vent, and I also write for myself outside of that. I think distractions are the most helpful for me though, sometimes throwing myself into passion projects is enough to prevent my brain from spiraling too much. I also personally find replacing certain unhealthy urges with slightly healthier ones that achieve a similar feeling effective. To be honest, I am not very good at the coping part, and I mainly tend to bottle those thoughts and feelings in. 

Regret: Do you ever feel guilty about being a yandere or loving differently from other people?

Yes, I often wish that I didn't love this way, or love at all for that matter. I feel bad for having many of the thoughts I have and some of the actions I have taken. I want to be a healthy partner/person, but I also will likely never feel completely satisfied with just that. It’s honestly kind of painful.

Stigma: What do you think brought about this side of you (childhood, mental illness, personality traits etc)?

I do enjoy psychoanalysis! Let’s see, I suppose it’s a lot of things. My parents are not that affectionate, and for the most part, neither am I (hence my username, the “kuu” is for kuudere). I honestly thought I was ace/aro until I met my darling when I was in high school, so her being the first and only person that made me feel that way made me quite attached. I may not be naturally affectionate with others, but I quickly learned that I am very, very affectionate and “simpy” for my beloved. I think I naturally love stronger than the average person in part because it is so difficult for me to do so. 

Mental illness likely plays a large part as well, although I have never had a formal therapist to diagnose me with anything. My darling is severely depressed, so I developed a separation anxiety with her among other things from her attempts and trips to the psych ward. I am also an eldest child and naturally quite protective and nurturing, and I feel that a lot of my feelings first and foremost involve a need to protect, please, and take care of her (without anything or anyone interfering). My feelings for her are complicated, and I’m sure there are many factors that contributed to them that I am not aware of.

Exposed: Are you honest with your darling about your feelings or the true extent of them? Does anyone else know?

I have recently made my darling aware of my current romantic feelings for her (semi-unwillingly, it was a bit of a mess that I won’t get into), but she does not and will never know the true extent of how intense/obsessed/possessive/etc. I am. She does know that I have those tendencies though, and I asked for her consent to do some things like take thousands of screenshots of her on video calls while we were together. No one else in real life knows about it, but I suppose at least 100 followers on here are privy to my depravity!

[impeccablebackside]

i know that's a silly and nerdy little question, but somehow i'm still into it. how many times do you think the "average" jellicle couple fucks in a week?

It is not a silly or nerdy question to me anon, so keep them coming. As much as sex is pleasurable and fun (and it would be), I think it is a good way for two people to connect in a way that nothing else can quite match. Physical intimacy between a couple is extending a form of love and care into a relationship dynamic that essentially no one else outside of said couple can have. It is needless to explain how special that is.

Anyway, to answer your question I would say that it varies a fair bit between any given couple.

For Victoria and Plato, they have straight up all-they-can-muster passionate sex at least once or twice a week. They have a hard time keeping their paws to themselves, always waiting to hold the other or embrace in some way. Not only that, they are constantly kissing when they are together. Unsurprisingly, it oftentimes translates to them fucking out the feelings of immense love and lust that they will never grow tired of.

Rumple and Mungo fuck in some way or another basically every single day. Mutually operating out of pure hedonism, Rumple more than Mungo sexually, they are in a constant search for excitement and pleasure. The fucking does not even need to be something big or lengthy (that's what she said) either, as some fingering / jerking or oral love goes more than a long way to start off, elevate, or close out another day. Though, it all gets conflated enough that the smaller acts become them mounting the other before long. Who can blame them.

Cass and Alonzo fuck at least once a week, and they always ensure it is something for the ages. Nothing overly complicated by any means, but very little nothing is a special for the tom as Cass' perfect pussy. It is the stuff of legends and myths. They use up all available energy when they fuck, battling it out position and domination wise. Cass always wins those though, not the Alonzo minds.

Bomba and Tugger are a couple that varies. Sometimes it is three or four times a week when they are really hungry for the other, other times it is a more sustainable once a week or less. It depends on how great the sex ends up being. Short sessions are great, and lead to more short fucking times in the day(s) that follows. When the sex is a more involved affair, it keeps them satisfied for longer.

Deme and Munk try to set aside a weekly rendezvous, but it frequently gets hampered by other adult responsibilities. Their fucking comes in quick bursts to make up for lost time if a dry spell goes on longer than a week. Otherwise, if it ends up being a long time, they have a marathon fuck session that goes on for hours to ensure everything is (literally) out of their system.

Jelly and AGus still find time to fool around here and there, but more structured sex is not overly common. It happens more out of spontaneity than any planned interval.

For those without a definitive partner, sex is obviously not on any committed time-line. Tanto fucks infrequently based on when her partners are available, and those times are certainly capitalized on. Jenny fucks based on how often Busto (or Skimble) is around, so it ends up being less frequent.