#never left actually just very lowkey
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webcomixwastaken · 5 days ago
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hit with the sudden desire to play that potato quality clip of Celia Keenan-Bolger singing Green Finch and Linnet Bird on repeat
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sparklingchim · 5 months ago
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#can i yap for a moment#im extremely sleepy but im feeling very upset and mad and confused#also lowkey questioning whether me feeling all that is justified or if i am overreacting#anyway#made out w a boy tonight#and he wanted to go to his place#and i was like no i wanna stay and dance with my girlies#and he gets upset??#asking why i'd kiss him if i don't wanna hook up and i said i just wanna have fun?#made me feel so stupid#that anger in me led to a little fight with another boy (who was unfortunately very cute) and i just wanted to punch him#i just hate when boys think they're so superior#so i argued with this stupid but hot man#until an ex? friend shows up and he was pretty drunk just yapping about things#anyway he basically told me he'd like to rekindle our friendship#but not in a heyy haven't talked in so long let's meet up again#it was in a heyy let's hang out again got a new big car and moved out of my parent's house 😋#which gave me the ick bc that's why we aren't friends anymore and i told him no multiple times#and got sad bc he was one of my closest friends#anyway and then we left the party#this guy pulls me aside the parking lot#and i was so embarrassed bc there were so many people and they were all looking and i could already see people gossiping about it#and i just wanted to die#and then he just CONFESSES??#gives me flowers and all which is saur saur cute#but i legit have zero feelings for him </3#and have commitment issues and have never been in a relationship and don't wanna be in one#actually grosses me out thinking about relationships </3#the confession was so random and i kinda lost another friendship? even tho i wouldn't rlly consider him a friend we just share sum classes#but yeah boys are so stupid and confusing and i dunno how and why i get myself into these situations :') m sorry just needed to rant </3
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agnimybeloved · 1 month ago
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regarding that last post... not that black butler's canon has to be uplifting or have dadbastian or a happy ending to be "good" (i'm actually partial to tragedies especially the cyclical kind and would love for the series to straight up end with despair and the collection on the contract lol) but i do think that toboso's largely fumbled the found-family/interpersonal,/introspective aspects of her story and sacrificed a lot of narrative and thematic meat there for low-brow and off-putting comedy.... which is really exactly all she does with ciel's trauma as well-- shallowly using it for the purposes of trauma porn and/or comedy/inappropriate fanservice.
ciel only seems to have reasonable responses to his trauma when its aesthetically convenient if that makes sense. i honestly could go as far as to say that she depicts his trauma fetishistically-- every instance i can recall of ciel having an extreme traumatic response (i.e. vomiting, flashbacks, psychosis) is represented with (imo but honestly.... i'd be shocked if this wasn't intentional...) sexual undertones. his episode during the green witch arc doesn't have one of these moments within the episode itself as far as i can recall, but certainly i think the preceding/inciting medical emergency that forces him and sebastian to bathe together contributes to the reoccurring sexualization of "sickness" (physical & psychological).
not to mention ciel's subsequent episode is treated as the dramatic peak of his ptsd and something that he "overcomes" through sheer force of will (and the threats of sebastian... neither of which are a proper/reasonable way to handle such an extreme trauma response) and doesn't really battle going forward in the story. of course a lot of stories take this "one dramatic moment and then its fixed" approach to representing mental illness, and it makes narrative sense for toboso to want to more or less settle that thread to gear up for the important blue cult arc, but i think toboso's handling of mental illness in general goes so far beyond suspension of disbelief and tastelessness that i think she should lowkey be brained for it. the way she intermittently writes ciel's traumatic experiences as something horrifying and wrong and to be given sympathy meanwhile relentlessly putting ciel in inappropriate fanservice situations that diminish the severity of csa & pedophilia as well as disrespect the complexities of trauma and turn them into comedy... mind boggling...
overall though i think that black butler shows a real mastery of narrative arcs while falling short in terms of character arcs. most of the time these arcs are shown in retrospect with the addition of new backstory, but it feels as if the characters in present have barely grown at all... not that every story has to be character driven and a static character type makes sense for someone like sebastian, but for all that ciel is a unique and mature thirteen year old due to the circumstances of his life, he is still a thirteen year old, and one that has experienced a significant trauma quite recently at that. not allowing him coming of age-esque character arcs considering all that sort of breaks the believability of his character imo.
but i think that coattails does a lot in staying loyal to ciel's character and experiences while also respecting his trauma and bringing the depth and flexibility of adolescence to his worldview and actions that toboso unfortunately seems disinterested in. i love that aforementioned chapter of coattails and its sentiments especially with how it reexamines ciel's actions at kelvin's manor and the worldview that lead to burning it down with the children inside... not that it was an out of character decision for ciel in the moment, but i think it established a lot more severe facts about his character and worldview than toboso is willing to address in her writing and therefore feels unresolved. coattails' remedy to that awkwardness by coming full circle is so intriguing and fulfilling in contrast... it shows how adolescence and trauma can work together to so completely convince one of hopelessness and yet how just a bit of hope can change that worldview entirely. literally just the honest love of a random dog and the mundane care of a guardian... there is a cure and it is this..... what da helllll....
#anyway as far as canon goes i genuinely dont care if sebastian never becomes softer or more human or paternal or whatever#i think examining the tiny ways in which he HAS become those things would be very intriguing but#what i do think would make for a way more compelling story was if ciel (and maybe others)#had more dynamic character arcs that contrasted sebastian's uninterest/inability to change#for ciel to slowly develop a worldview and desire for life that began to conflict with his 10 year old one#that so quickly forfeited his soul in a moment of total devastation and loss#or to begin thinking of sebastian as a parental figure no matter how small or unwanted or hated the thoughts#especially with a sebastian that wouldnt reciprocate ciel's regret of the contract or imprinting on him as a paternal figure#like if we're gonna do tragedy lets make it as tragic as possible pleaseeee#in some ways makes me think of spn if that makes sense. ep 1 and the final ep can be watched without missing anything#like if we go from 'ciel wants revenge and is fine having his soul taken' to#'ciel got revenge (however bittersweet it might be idk) and is fine having his soul taken' ending.....#i think that would be sort of boring#i think thats actually what's kind of bothered me about kss in recent years and left me really wanting from the story....#i love love love the narrative arcs and they're my favorite part but as far as the characters i feel like we're almost still at chapter one#why does any of this matter... how has this changed the characters... idk. i feel like we havent gotten much of that#disclaimer i havent read kss in a few years/am not caught up if im forgetting anything but 😭 i feel like i wouldve rememebred...#anyway. another thing i really love about coattails is that its written with sebastians pov and so brilliantly too#the author writes his voice (and everyone) so believably#literally not a single line feels like a throwaway or generalized narrator voice...#i keep thinking about the scene where abberline has his shoes on his head and sebastian thinks its stupid and absurd#and when abberline puts them back on his feet the describing line isnt just#'he put them back on his feet'#but 'he put them back on his feet where they belonged'#and 'where they belonged' is an unnecessary/assumed detail of the action itself but given its written from sebastian's pov#it further emphasizes how stupid and absurd he thinks the whole thing is. 'thats where they belong.... idiot....'#whatever. whateverrrrr.#i love this fic. my fav fic of all time forever i will never find another like it#i just watched the public school arc and was lowkey so disappointed that i had to reread coattails LOL#kss
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bunveh · 2 days ago
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I’m so glad my exams are finally over bc I can at last cut my long term friends off since I have so much free time now.
#people think that I will ALWAYS be there simply because I tolerate how much they use me for their therapy and never even ask if I’m ok when#it’s sooooo obvious I somehow seem to always get progressively worse in terms of physical and mental health#and so ! because of my MH I haven’t been able to talk to most people at all#like I’d get a panic attack at the thought and I’d just have to close the app and just calm myself down#and my heart … it would hurt so bad from how my anxiety which already makes me gag uncontrollable and jolt awake from how violently I’m#trembling somehow my heart started to hurt so bad to the point I felt I was going to die soon#so I genuinelyyyyy couldn’t even talk to anyone#I’ve always wondered that if I stopped texting first if people would even notice#these past six months proved that no they wouldn’t#even the person I’ve been friends with for 8 years btw didn’t care#we used to talk daily#when she was in hospital I always checked up on her more than anyone even tho I couldn’t visit the hospital I’d always send her messages and#try to yk help to my capacity and stuff#but she had replaced me by another girl kinda and she stopped talking to me after I stopped talking first bc of my health issues#and the saddest part is that barely anyone out of all the people I’ve tried to befriend ever spoke to me anymore#this has been one of the loneliest periods of my life-the fact that I am useless apart from temporary entertainment and a person to waste#time with ? in fact I’m barely considered for these options in general#anyways so !!! I just gave up ! beforeeven the thought of cutting someone off I’d need to genuinely be held at gun point for someone to make#me cut off a bad person but now although I’m quite stressed still I’m lowkey ok with cutting off ppl#just bc of how absolutely horribly I’ve been abused and treated by all of them#sorry for being annoying I just needed somewhere to note this down I HATE being negative but all my life is negativity no matter how much I#distract myself with the very very few things I like (I only kinda like on thing here now … and even that I’m forcing myself to like it a#little …) so yeah I always feel guilty for saying these things and making these posts nobody has any idea how bad the guilt is but what else#can I do ? I don’t know …#like I have only ever confronted people TWICE my whole life not bc I’ve not been abused I’ve actually been really badly taken advantage of#consistently and without fail at every stage of my life but I don’t say anything bc I’m worried they’ll get upset#the reasons I ever said anything at the end is bc those ppl made me so suicidal more than usual and yeah … I Can cut them off right?#whatever whatever it doesn’t matter now my existence amongst them isn’t liked it seems anyways so why would they care if I left ?
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kamitv · 1 month ago
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Love the idea of Gojo who’s lowkey a perv but had done a pretty good job at hiding it up until he called you one day and overheard you getting fucked by your husband, who just so happens to be his best friend Suguru.
It’s instant the way his cock jumps to life at the wet squelches heard over the phone. Hell, even when Suguru very clearly told him the way he was fucking you to tears, Gojo couldn’t help but palm himself to soothe that growing ache.
Then the words, “Y'Mind if I stay on the phone and listen?” Came pouring out of his mouth faster than he meant for them to.
Truth be told, it was more of a thought that was never supposed to leave his brain and yet here he is now; tugging at his cock to the erotic sounds of you moaning out his best friend’s name. Gojo’s dick was slicked with a filthy mix of precum and his own spit, making it easy for his hand to glide up and down his long shaft.
His phone was on max volume, sounds of Suguru spewing out such filth to you stirring up Gojo even more. Then there was every delicate moan you let out…
Suguru’s got such a way with words too. Dirty talk flows past his lips effortlessly and it makes Gojo’s cock painfully twitch against his palm.
“Show me how deep I am baby, c’mon, you can point f’me, can’t you?” Fuck. Gojo can only toss his head back and squeeze his eyes shut, fisting his weeping tip faster by the second. “Thaaat’s it, pretty girl. Yeahh, y’feel me riiight here, huhh?”
His imagination is running absolutely wild given the audio porn he’s been allowed to listen to. Everything is so loud—you’re so loud. He can practically picture the way you’re layed out under Suguru, vivid images of your pussy lips bulging around his best friend’s thick cock as he fucks himself to the hilt of your cunt.
Gojo can hear each time Suguru hits the right spot, he can tell based off of that particularly filthy squelch that rings throughout his eardrums. Which is usually followed by a hitched gasp of Suguru’s name, and then a hiss (presumably because you’ve left yet another long scratch on his back).
Gojo doesn’t know what’s louder at this point—you or your cunt. “S-Shiit-,” He gasps, hips bucking up into his fist as he hones in on the drooling slicked sounds of your pussy leaving a messy coat of cum around Suguru’s cock. “So fuckin’ wet,” Gojo whispers to himself, squeezing his eyes shut.
His slim fingers curl around the base of his cock tightly as he hears Suguru use him as a means to tease you. “See? I told you she was loud t’day,” He teases you with this big fucked out smirk on his face while his thrusts grow sloppy.
“Even Satoru can hear how fuckin—“ Suguru pauses to spit down onto your cunt, “—Sloppy she is.”
Gojo lets out a throaty whine at the way his friend is actually including him in this. His wrist is starting to cramp with how fast he’s jerking himself off, cracking open his squeezed eyes just to see the mess he’s steadily making of himself.
All because of you. Gojo knows it’s wrong to think about it, he knows it’s wrong to fantasize about you but he can’t fucking help it. Every time Suguru brings you around you’ve always got the pretty smile on your face and you always smell so mind-numbingly good.
Gojo was a perv long before Suguru and you started dating, and things didn’t change at all when the two of you got married.
Ring on your finger be damned. Gojo can only imagine the way you’d sound moaning his name instead, how it’d flow off of your plump spit slicked lips, the way your eyes would lull back when he fucks into you deep enough.
And hell if Suguru ever lets him actually fuck you. He could only imagine the look on his friend’s face as he watches Gojo fuck you down into the mattress, bringing his hand down on to your stomach and pressing hard onto the bulge his thick cock creates—watching you choke on your own moans and lose your mind in pleasure.
Gojo wants you bad. He wants to fuck Suguru’s darling wife and he knows its wrong. He knows he should be happy with what he’s got right now and the mere opportunity of being able to listen in like this but..
“Oh! F-Fuuck.. right there Sugu,” You’re heard whining out. All Gojo can do is imagine it. He can imagine the look on your face right now, how your body twitches as Suguru’s thumb swats at your soddened clit, making your legs go numb and your face contort into something so utterly lewd.
Suguru’s busy pouting at you, mocking your little whine just now. “Aw, baby… Don’t be ruude. Satoru’s on the phone bein’ all perverted ‘nd listenin’ to ya’, you could thank him too y’know..”
Gojo’s mind blanks at the prospect of simply hearing you moan his name. Why would Suguru suggest that?? Does he… Is he as into this as Gojo is? Does this turn him on too?
You’re barely even lucid at this point, completely fucked to pure bliss. “Toruu’,” You gasp, “Hnngh… t-thank you.”
Right then and there, Gojo’s cumming. His eyes meet the back of his damn skull and he’s groaning freely and carelessly, causing your soaked walls to milk the fuck out of Geto’s cock.
All three of you are feeling pleasure beyond expected from this. Gojo’s huffing and puffing curses and small desperate whines of your name, picturing himself fucking you full of his cum instead of his fist. Geto’s above you drilling you into the couch to the point where your eyes cross and you can’t even moan anymore.
And you…
Well, you’re eventually woken up by your husband, Suguru, who’s a bit confused as to why you’d been making all these noises in your sleep… Especially seeing as Gojo was sitting on the couch right next to you.
“Call me crazy but,” Suguru narrows his eyes at your dazed face, “M’pretty sure I heard you moanin’ both of our names, gorgeous.”
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blood-ology · 1 year ago
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My younger half sister moving to her dads in the US at 14 after living with just me and our mom her whole life got me like wow, I wonder what it must he like to have a whole entire second parent who gives enough of a fuck about you to see you, buy you shit, AND let you move in just because you feel like it. (And who’s even safe enough to be around)
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strwberri-milk · 3 months ago
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Hi☺️ I really like your headcanons, and was interested if you would like to write a one where LADS boys hurt the reader with their Evol (not on purpose, accidentally).
Maybe it could be angst a bit? If you okay with it ( ・_・)♡
ngl i lowkey still dont understand how xavs evol works so his is ia little funny rather than angst bc he teleported funny :(
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Zayne didn't realise that his Evol had been acting up so badly. He could feel the chill of it crawling up his body but he had no idea he struck you until he hears your gasp from the door of his office. His eyes are wide as he ignores the ice in his veins.
You try to tell him not to worry, that he needs to focus on himself because clearly his Evol is acting up again but he can't be bothered right now. He's immediately looking over the injury, making sure that it's just superficial. If he actually hurt you he'd never forgive himself. You have to convince him that everything is okay, take his hands into your face and slow him down just a bit until he can see you again.
He buries his face into your neck, holding you tightly as he promises he'll never do it again. You have to tell him over and over again that you know it was an accident. It doesn't matter though - he'll never forgive himself. He's always extra careful with his Evol around you from now on, terrified he'll hurt you again.
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He wasn't paying attention when he teleported in, almost knocking you over because you didn't expect to see him there. You laugh, the pain being pretty minimal so it was fine but he is not happy about it to say the least. He's not mad at you at all - he's very upset with himself for not being more careful with you.
He keeps his eye on you for the next little while, worried that he actually did hurt you but you're just worried of hurting his feelings so you won't actually tell him what's wrong. He tries to subtly check your body, making sure there really aren't any bruises on you.
Now whenever he teleports somewhere you are he makes it a point to text or call you ahead of time to make sure you aren't where he plans to be. If you don't answer then he'll just teleport somewhere he knows you aren't to make sure he doesn't hurt you.
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Rafayel didn't see you come in when he started using his Evol for a painting. He just wanted to give it a bit of a burned affect, flames encompassing his studio just long enough for you to sustain a burn. It's not bad thankfully, nothing you couldn't handle but Rafayel is devasted you're hurt in the first place.
He's on you in an instant, used to getting burns himself from when he's overzealous with his fire Evol. He's got tons of salves and gauze for you as he carefully takes care of your burn. He wants to take you to see a doctor but you convince him not to - the burn is already feeling a lot better but he doesn't seem convinced.
He beats himself up for what feels like forever, fully blaming himself for your injury. He knows that if he was more careful with his flames he wouldn't have hurt you and there's no talking him out of it. You can only try to comfort him, spending time with him and trying your best to reassure him.
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Sylus didn't think that you were going to barge into his meeting, having something important to tell him as he pulled his hand back. He ends up accidentally grabbing you, squeezing a touch too tight before you're let go. An angry looking welt is left on your skin and Sylus is immediately by you, inspecting it as he apologises.
You can't hear the panic in his voice but you can see it in his eyes, the way his hands quickly move over your body as he tries to figure out if he broke anything. Thankfully he didn't and you're just sore. The second you tell him that he finds you an ointment and starts massaging the muscle. He doesn't say much other than the apologies at the start but it's because he's fully focused on making sure you're okay. It would be adorable if you weren't worried about how concerned he is.
He doesn't say much for a while, mad at himself for not noticing you coming into the room. You have to fill the silence, trying your best to soothe him. It'll really take a long time for him to stop treating you like glass.
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smol-tired-binch-blog · 2 years ago
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I do kinda hope we get a sequel, it’d be nice to be able to talk about Lorabetta again
#smol has a vent#this aint as bad as my other vents but it's still a bit melancholy to go in my normal 'speaks' or fandom tag#cause like i dont wanna make out like 'oh the attentions not on ME im LEAVING this fandom' cause im not. but like.#it's one of my only fandoms ive ever truly been In. i made friends from it. i developed OCs for it. discussed the lore and game with others.#i was INTO it and made one of my favourite OCs ever. and people actually wanted to know about her!!!#people asked me about her!!! we made our OCs interact!!! thats not happened before!!#i finally felt like i was in a community! but of course things have lulled these last few months#which is only natural of course. people have their own lives and stuff to deal with they get into other fandoms its natural its normal.#the server aint fully dead most of us are still kinda there. i hope it picks up again at some point#but yeah no i finally drew a Lorabetta comic for Easter and i was PRAYING this might get more attention than the last one (which was 0)#cause i was following up a previous comic! one that got attention! i shared it in the server and....#nothing. no one cared i suppose. ik she's not like the Best or Most Popular OC in the fandom. i dont think she even registers#on a fandom-wide scale. but she matters to me. and it mattered that other people were interested. and that interest just...isnt there anymor#didnt help i nearly had her ruined for me over something i really shouldnt have got so upset about but i had no way of like assuaging#my worries so i lowkey spiralled a little bit so it left a sour taste in my mouth. another reason drawing her comic meant a lot to me#telling myself 'i still love her'. i want others to love her too. is that a lot to ask? maybe. ah well. such is life.#i reckon a sequel would also be very fun but i mostly do just want a reason to go back to Lorabetta. maybe Mollinda too#im sorry i left you by the wayside girls. and sorry to Lanabelle and Edithana for never developing you. but ya meant a lot to me. still do.#'wow shes apologising to her OCs thats so fuckin sad' yeah maybe but im a sensitive bitch me. its how im built lol
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vhaos-chaotic-writing · 2 months ago
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AAAAH I loved your most to least list!!!! I 💯 agree with your opinion frfr
I have another request 🫵🏼🧐 what if TFP! bumblebee, smokescreen and (insert any character you want)'s female S/O has this random 'affection bursts' where she would randomly shout 'my precious babyyy' and rub herself onto their faces or hugs their hands ??! I want some of that fluff pls 🥺
Aww, I'm so glad you liked it!! Aaand I love the idea of an aggressive affectionate S/O! (❤´艸`❤) I'll assume the reader is a human based on the things you said!
TFP Bumblebee, Smokescreen and Soundwave with a Female!Human!S/O who has affection bursts!
WARNING: She/Her pronouns used for S/O but there are none physical descriptions, fluff (too much fluff it's sickening!!! /j), romantic relationships. S/O is an adult (over 20 years old).
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BUMBLEBEE
In the beginning he was kind of confused but never gave it too much thought before you two became a couple.
There were a few times you would arrive to the base and have those little outburts with the kids - it was always hugs and gentle cheek-to-cheek snuggles (specially with Miko and Raff). Bee always associated it to when a Carrier or Sire are with their sparkling. Which is good! It means you care for them! And that makes Bee beep happily.
But when you two became a couple? Bee was actually scared! At least the first times.
"My precious Bee!" your shout is followed by Bee's surprised beep, but when he sees it's just you, he sighs in relief as you hug his peds.
Remember how Bee's face looks whenever someone in the movies touches his cheek? Yeah, that's how he looks at you - with pure love and adoration as he melts while you are hugging his faceplate and gently rubbing your face against his.
Would gently snuzzle his faceplate against you whenever you are cuddling - making you giggle cuz I imagine his faceplate would nearly always be against your torso.
He beeps-chuckles at anytime you hug his pedes or legplates and loudly make 'mwah' noises.
Bee does get shy when anyone mentions how fuzzy and flusttered he looks after getting a kiss or cuddle from you, but the shyness becomes enamoured sighs as he counts the kliks until you have another affection burst on him.
"Beep..."
"Oh, come on, Bee - she just left. And she gave you your daily dosis of cuddles! Don't be sad!" Raff says back, smiling at his guardian.
Come back and give him love, S/O. *(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭*ଘ
SMOKESCREEN
This mech looking at his S/O like (❤ ω ❤) 24/7 all year around.
The very 1st time he saw you have that platonic-affection outburst with any of the kids he was curious... aaand lowkey hopeful he would get one too.
"I wish S/O would hug me too..." / "Beep-wee?" / "N-nothing!"
When you two became a couple there are affection bursts from both of you, nearly every day.
You two become Ratchet's worst nightmare - Ratchet was already starting to accept your affection outburts. But now having Smokescreen not shut up about you? And also always shout "My precious star!" whenever he sees you, followed by "Smokyyy!" from your part? "Primus, end me."
Smokescreen loves to hold you carefully on his servos and lift you to his helm level so you can hug him and press kisses all over his faceplate.
And he always kisses the top of your head, imitating your loud 'mwah!' sounds.
"Isn't my sparkmate the best? And the most beautiful girl of them all? If I could I would always carry her and kiss her and - !"
Your relationship with Smokescreen would be:
"I am a serious and cold-calculated autobot!" / "Who is my beloved Smoky?" / "Meee :3"
He holds you so dearly while you hug his chestplate, and he can't help but feel like his spark is vibrating in pure happiness. His precious little star.
SOUNDWAVE
Well... this is new.
Soundwave is always on alert, after all, he was to keep an optic on anyone and anything inside and outside of the Nemesis.
How did he not notice you arrive to his area and hug one of his tentacles?
He actually flinched and slowly looked down at you.
You just laughed awkwardly as you let go of his tentacle. "Sorry, Soundwave - wanted to, uh, give you a hug... have a nice day!" and you leave quickly.
Soundwave never takes off his optics from you until you finally disappear from his sight, to then look down at his hugged tentacle. It felt... nice.
From that day, whenever you two are in the same place, he slowly moves one of his tentacles towards you. And when you finally catch on that you can hug him again, you swear you saw the smiling face emoji on his faceplate.
It takes time to let you hug more than his tentacle - starts to let you hug his pedes or legplates. Then when he finally lets you get on his servo, he only lets you hug or rest against his chestplate.
But when he allows you to hug his faceplate?
The panel on his faceplate only showed kiss and enamoured emojis when you kissed it.
Of course, only when you two are all alone! But won't stop you if you have your affection outburst while others watch. They know better than to judge or laugh at the sight.
"My scary and big Soundwave." /affectionate.
" (❤´艸`❤) "
He will now always try to have you on his servos or carry you around. And loooves when you snuggle aggressively your cheek against his armplates or servos.
Will do the same with either his own faceplate or use one of his tentacles to playfully snuggle your face.
Becomes really silly with you.
"Soundwave: request. S/O: proceed with affection burst."
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Wan' cuddle a big robot (sobbing). Vhaos out!
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coryndoll · 4 months ago
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not so bad
— in which rafe and y/n absolutely despise each other in public but crush in secret. rafe is failing his humanities class & is assigned y/n as his tutor . . . maybe all it took for this relationship to form was just a bit of forced proximity and some time.
college!rafe cameron x reader au
warning(s): n/a. just a bitchy rafe whos generous n gets awkward as fuck when it comes to u
authors note: college!rafe is lowkey nicer to y/n since he can’t help his buried feelings !! but he’s still an ass. i wouldve casted drew as himself but drew is too sweet i cant even imagine him having like a female sworn enemy that he lowk has a crush on
one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine
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the door swings open, revealing rafe himself. he’s silent as soon as he sees you. “lock the door,” he says as he turns around and starts to head further inside, leaving you at the entrance.
“lock the door,” you mock-mumble under your breath as you enter, closing and locking the door behind you like you’re told. you look around, realizing you’ve never actually seen rafe’s dorm before. his friends’ dorms maybe, but never his.
his dorm is surprisingly clean, with only empty to fully filled water bottles scattered around, but very few. both sides of the room are displayed with posters on its walls, you can fell which bed is his and it’s made with its sheets tucked tightly in the crevices with two large pillows at the head of it.
you watch as he walks over to his desk and sits in the chair, opening up his laptop to the online textbook provided for the class.
he peers over his shoulder to glance at you, “can you fucking—i don’t know—sit down somewhere? the furniture isn’t coated in poison, you know.”
you fight the urge to make a remark, and you just sigh and let it go. “kay!” you say, and carefully making your way over to sit on the edge of his bed, placing your bag by your side. you catch his eye when you reply so eagerly without a problem, but you ignore this.
“where’s your roommate?” you ask him, looking around. “just wanna make sure when i need to expect someone- also, typically i charge for tutoring, and if crawford is making me tutor you then i’m charging you double. hundred-fifty an hour.”
rafe looks pissed, shaking his head and opening his mouth like he’s about to argue before closing it again. finally, he sighs, leaning against the wall by the kitchen. “my roommate’s just . . . out . . . today. he’s running errands. whatever, can we just get this over with? i’ll pay you after.”
you grin, feeling even satisified that rafe has to use his own cash to pay for however long this will take. “have a girl coming over tonight?” you guess from the way he’s rushing you. you reach into your bag for your ipad, “this wouldn’t be happening if you’d just pay attention in class, you know.”
“i know," rafe mutters, still annoyed but trying not to show it. "i just don't get how humanities could be important in the real world," he says, running a hand through his hair before resting the side of his head against his spread index finger and thumb, looking at you. “or my world, i mean.”
“still trying to do real estate?” you puzzle, pulling up the notes you took during class for him to look at. “it’s like your dad’s job, right? the cameron department thing.”
“cameron development,” he corrects you, hissing through his teeth.
“whatever. just surprised you’re not pursing sex work from all the girls i see you pull into bathrooms at parties,” you mutter out the end of your sentence under your breath, in a way not wanting to bring up that you’ve even noticed that before . . . again . . . and again . . .
“yeah?” he seems amused. “sex could sell more homes than fuckin’ humanities ever could.”
“sex?” you repeat with raised brows. “damn near prostitution versus political science, sociology, journalism, anthropology,” you name off as you lean left and right in your seat, pretending to think and weigh out your options. “yeah, maybe passing your humanities class can be a good thing! pull up your notes, please?”
“i did," rafe grumbles, gesturing to his laptop.
“i said notes, not the textbook. i wanna see what you’ve even written down while in class,” you say.
he’s silent as he opens up his documents, and he pulls up his most recent document filed under notes. he hands his laptop over to you as he leans back in his seat. you look over his text.
furrowing your eyebrows, you say, “okay, so you . . . you wrote the title of his lesson yesterday. that’s good. but under that you didn’t even write down any notes, you just have someone’s phone number. are you that predictable?”
he chews on his dog tag necklace and shrugs, taking his laptop back. “she was new. just wanted to make a friend,” he insists, closing out the tab.
you hum. you don’t really believe him but it isn’t like you care enough to argue over that. you hand him your ipad to show him your notes. “we’ll start at the beginning of the unit,” you tell him as he takes it.
rafe lets out a breath from his nose as he matches your energy from before, “‘kay!” he skims over your writing, gnawing on his pencil quietly.
you almost catch yourself smiling that he does this, but you refrain.
the lesson seems to be going better than you thought, though there are some pissed glances here and there from both sides. it takes two hours to go over the unit with examples and practices. you’re already exhausted.
finally, after what feels like an eternity, the lesson ends. rafe slumps back in his chair, relieved to be done with the humanities assignments that you made him do for now. he looks up at you, barely casting a smile your way. “thanks for the help,” he mumbles, awkwardly meeting your gaze.
“thanks for the money,” you say, half-reminding him that he needs to hold up his end of the deal as you stand from your seat.
as he stands, he bumps into your ipad on his desk. it collides with his opened water bottle he’d been drinking out of the past hour or so and both of you know what’s about to happen. you blurt out a noise and try to dodge the water coming your way but fail, getting his water on your legs and even more pouring at your crocs that invite even more liquid in. you can just feel your socks absorbing it now.
rafe grimaces as he stares down at your wet legs, and the least he does is reaches down to grab the bottle and the cap that flew off the desk. he closes it up and sets it on his desk as you take off your shoes and socks, holding them with barely your fingers.
“i have uh . . . towels, paper towels,” he says, and you just nod immediately, accepting whatever to dry yourself off.
when he comes back, you grab the paper towels and shove your soggy socks into his chest which he takes out of instinct before exclaiming and dropping them on the floor. you can’t help but look back and glare at him before patting your legs dry, and then tossing the paper towel into the nearby trash can that sat at one of the ends of his desk.
you can see rafe shrug as he picks up your socks and hovers over his trash can too. “might as well,” he murmurs.
“wh— are you serious?” you try to catch the socks, but then again, he’s too far and you have no business carrying some wet ass socks back to your dorm. your hands fall to your sides as you sigh.
it’s like he’s visibly contemplating (or debating with himself) before he walks over to his dresser and rummages through a drawer, finally pulling out a pair of socks. “here,” he says, tossing them to you, which you almost fail to catch from the sudden surprise. “they’re clean. swear.”
you give him a doubtful look. “i didn’t need your socks. i have plenty in my own drawer, thanks,” you say, placing the pair on his desk to reject them, and he stares at you.
he shakes his head and turns around. “so difficult,” he murmurs under his breath, and he quickly cleans up his drawer before closing it.
he grabs his wallet from on top of the dresser too, pulling out the wad of cash. you can tell from the look on his face that he’s not only doing this to count his money properly but also to subtly flex right in front of you. you roll your eyes and look away.
he counts out his three-hundred before handing it to you, scrunching up his nose as he stuffs his wallet into his pocket. you stare at the money, then take it while giving him a glare.
you quickly count it but bless, there’s two hundred dollar bills and then five twenty’s. perfect.
“okay, good luck on your exam,” you say and grab your bag, heading for the door like you’re in a hurry this time.
“wait,” rafe says, and you almost groan from annoyance. you just want to go back to your dorm. “here,” he mumbles to himself, and he steps over to the mini-fridge in the corner. he opens it up and grabs a water bottle, then tosses it to you.
“rafe,” you say, not really expecting all of these ‘gifts’ just for screaming at him for two hours about humanities. you toss it back to him, which he catches.
“just for the road,” he insists with a shake of his head. “since i spilled mine on you.”
you stare at him like he’s stupid. “dude, i live down the hallway.”
when you see his awkward reaction, you almost feel bad. actually you do. and it’s weird. usually you don’t notice this at all, but something about rafe feeling dumb about trying to thank you just makes you feel guilty for how you’ve treated him. fine.
you give him a look like you’re saying okay. that it’s okay to give you gifts and that you’re okay with receiving them. rafe doesn’t even cast a smile, he just nods. you squint your eyes at him before heading for his door again.
rafe meets you there and holds out the water bottle for you. you look up at him and take it. you almost smile, and it seems like he might too, but you both catch yourselves and quickly look away.
“ace your exam so you won’t have to hear from me like this again,” you say, half-joking to keep up their normal behavior.
“i’ll try, i’ll try,” he says simply, and stands at his door while you leave. you raise your eyebrows once before heading off to your dorm, taking your bag and your water bottle with you. you hear his door shut from behind you.
as you walk away, you can’t help but replay the moment in your head, the weird sense of camaraderie that just occurred. maybe, just maybe, rafe cameron isn’t the most horrible person on the planet. and it doesn’t help that he’s unfortunately attractive, which makes it slightly more difficult now to keep up the mutual hatred you have for each other.
from inside the dorm, rafe stands there for a moment, staring at the closed door. he shakes his head, a small, almost imperceptible smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.
“not so bad,” he mutters to himself before turning back to his desk, ready to tackle his upcoming humanities exam thanks to you.
740 notes · View notes
kurikive · 4 months ago
Text
sticky | kim minji
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things between you and minji are... sticky this summer.
— childhood friends to lovers, summer trip, soccer player!reader, slowish burn, lowkey bromance, futchish READER 💜
contains : cursing, kinda slight makeoutism, a lot of bro and dude, just a little bit of angst but i promise its literally nothing, NOT proofread at all i am tireeeddd
wc: 13.7k words
inspired by : Sticky — KISS OF LIFE
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You're not really sure how you got here.
You’re watching the sunset at the beach with Kim Minji, your hand in between hers and the sand below you, your face two inches from her own, your lips two seconds away from colliding.
Actually, let's rewind.
It’s summer! It's been 3 long years of being away in Seoul. A soccer scholarship was always great, and you were having a fantastic time with your teammates and classmates, but you were completely burnt out after these exhausting last 6 months.
Korea University Anam Tigers proudly win 3rd place in the U-League for the first half of the season. 5 wins, 2 draws, 3 losses. Not too bad. You did better last year, but you're sure you'll recover and bounce back during the second half. Or maybe it was the alcohol and smell of grilled beef that was making you emotional.
After you finalize your amazing speech with a broken voice and a tear threatening to leave your eye, you realize you're actually quite drunk. The applause of your teammates startles you, and they may be mocking your sentimental state with their laughs and ‘aww’s and teasing pushes, but they cheer you on anyway.
“Han Y/N!” One of your teammates, Hsu Nientsu, also pretty tipsy, nudges your left arm as you sit back down, “Don't get so sensitive with us now!”
“Our Y/Nie gets emotional when drunk, huh?” Central striker Ahn Yujin, leader of the team, pinches one of your red cheeks from across the table, action to which you groan at.
“I just…” You sigh, drowsy and teary eyes block your vision yet you can still tell all your teammates are looking at you. “I really love our team and want us to do our best…” You make a mental note to never get drunk with your team again when they coo at you for a second time.
“Well then,” Oh Haewon starts pouring you another shot (she usually would make you pour it yourself, but your flimsy arms and hung head bring out the instinct to take care of you instead), “Let's climb up the leaderboard for Leftie!” She declares as she leaves the small glass of soju on your side of the table.
You hate the nickname. Nientsu came up with it the first year of your scholarship because when you were supposed to be in central midfield you spent most of your time on the left side of the field, for some reason. Her broken Korean and teasing nature muttered the name in an attempt to mock you and everyone started repeating after. You can't complain much about it. It stuck too well.
You take the shot and grimace at the bitter taste of alcohol. You're still not used to it even after countless team dinners.
Won Haneul, your roommate, best friend and goalkeeper, laughs at your expression. The other girls have already picked up their own conversation, yet she seems very entertained at your drunken state, “Unnie, are you sure you don't want to go?” You've told her multiple times to drop the formalities, it's a one year difference; she keeps refusing.
You look to your right and you (hardly) see her looking at you worried, but still smiling. It takes a couple seconds for you to process her words. “I… I think I should go.” You slur, you're sure you'll die if you take another shot.
Haneul nods, understanding as always. “Guys, I think me and Y/N unnie are gonna head back now!” You hear your teammates complain and whine but you can't make out anything they're saying.
“I'm too drunk!” You try your best to scold them, “And I have my last class tomorrow…”
A soccer scholarship didn't mean you were just in Seoul to play soccer and get drunk with your friends. You also had to study and attend classes, like everyone else. Maybe you would've had it easier if you had chosen Physical Education as your major. But no, you had chosen Media and Communication for some reason.
At least it was the last class before break.
“Go then! Quick! Get away!” You hear Jung Sunhye drunkenly shoo you two away. It makes you giggle. You wave goodbye to your teammates with your frail arms, it makes you look like a car rental inflatable. You hear a chorus of ‘sleep well’s and ‘Bye Y/N’s.
Haneul holds you as you walk out of the BBQ place, and then a cold wave of air hits you right when you realize you have to go up the hill to get to your dorm. You don't know if the chill you get in your spine is from the cool late night air or the dread of borderline hiking while drunk.
“Haneul, I'm sorry.” You don't even want to look at her in fear of getting dizzy. You're only a few steps up the hill but you're already breathing a little heavy. However, your apologetic expression is enough for her to understand your feelings.
“It's okay, unnie!” She's such a joy to have around not only as a teammate but as a friend. You hope her kindness never leads her to getting taken advantage of. You and the other girls would ruin the life of whoever could even dare.
“I'm really grateful for you, y’know?” You probably shouldn't talk while you're rapidly growing out of breath, but you're already sentimental.
“I'm flattered.” She says with a light laugh while pushing you from behind, making it easier for you to walk upwards.
“Are you going back to Suwon this summer?” You ask after a while of more heavy steps. Haneul had also gotten a scholarship and moved from Suwon to Seoul, therefore getting to be roommates with you.
“Mhm! Gonna go see my parents.” Her voice turns a little softer and you notice even when you're mostly out of your conscious mind. “What about you, unnie? Are you gonna stay here?”
It's been three years since you left your hometown and replaced the ocean with the river. Three years since you left your friends behind. Three years since leaving your mom and dad.
Of course you missed them. How could you not? It's not like you were avoiding them, the last summers were just filled to the brim with practice and studying and everything got tangled and you didn't even leave time for yourself.
That's over, though. You can already see yourself on the shore.
And then you're at the bus terminal. Hands shaky and heavy steps, just like the ones you took walking up the hill of your dorm building. You carry your backpack at your front and hold your gym bag on your left hand. You wait in line to step inside your bus and you think you're ready to fall asleep for the whole ride.
But once you're settled in your seat, your thoughts leave you restless.
There's a fear in the back of your mind that your friends will treat you differently when you arrive.
You've been gone for 3 years, and you talk slightly less now. But the group chat is still active, and you talk with them when you're allowed the time to. It's not like you've gone completely radio silent and disappeared from their lives.
It's just scary to be back.
But the scariest thing by far is the fear of being proven wrong. The fear of still liking her.
See, ever since you were a kid running around with a ball between your feet, you've had a crush on Kim Minji.
Neighborhood pretty girl. Class president in elementary, middle and high school. Best grades in your year. The most crushable girl ever.
You remember the first day you met her. You actually think about it a lot.
You were 7, playing soccer with your friend Gyuvin on the beach at sunset hours. There was no real goal to kick the ball towards, you were just trying to steal the ball from each other and keep it as long as possible. But then Gyuvin gets a little too close to taking the ball, and in panic you pass it to your right. 
But there's no one to your right. And you realize you've just kicked it towards three girls about your same age building a sandcastle.
You see the ball roll away further and further away from you and Gyuvin, and closer and closer to the castle, and the girls don't seem to notice.
You don't know why you're frozen. You could've stopped the ball by now if you had run after it. Gyuvin notices your lack of movement and becomes the one who shouts instead, “BALL!”
It seems to wake both the girls and you up from your daze, and suddenly you're running as fast as you can to catch the ball before it collides with the sand clump. And you manage to catch it.
You had thrown yourself into the sand, and the ball gets stopped by your arms. But your head crashes into the sandcastle instead. It doesn't collapse completely, and it didn't hurt that much, but it suddenly knocked you out for a few seconds.
You hear Gyuvin’s voice behind you when your mind is back in its place. “We're really sorry! We'll help you patch it back up!” You shake of the sand from your head when you sit back up, and you can finally take a good look at the three girls.
They looked pissed.
The smallest of the girls speaks, “I guess you can help. You're lucky it didn't fall on your head.” She points at you and you feel guilt engulf your cheeks with its warmth.
“Great!” Your friend helps you shake off some of the remaining sand off of your head, “Let's get to work, Y/N!”
You're confused at his enthusiasm, you were just playing soccer with him a few seconds ago and now he wants to build a sandcastle with some girls you just met? “But… we were-”
Gyuvin cuts you off, “It's the least we can do. We almost destroyed it.” It makes sense, but you're still a little reluctant. You grab a shovel anyways.
Your friend is already introducing himself when you start digging a hole into the sand, “I'm Kim Gyuvin! What are your names?”
The short girl with short hair that spoke to you before is the first one to answer, “I'm Hanni Pham! I'm from Australia but we moved here a year ago.”
“Your parents like fish, huh?” The boy's joke makes Hanni's mouth open wide and her eyes dilate a good amount.
“How did you know?!”
“I'm Seol Yoona.” Says a girl with a voice so quiet you have to ask Gyuvin what her name was right after she said it, “What did she say?”
“Seol Yoona.” He repeats, and you get back to digging with a nod, not before you give an apologetic smile to the girl.
The last girl introduces herself, “I'm Kim Minji.” You notice three things about her. Her voice is deeper than the other two girls, her eyebrows are really pretty, and she's wearing a blue clip on her hair.
All three of the girls are pretty, but if Gyuvin asks you later who you thought was the prettiest you are sure you'll say Minji.
Said girl notices you've been doing nothing but dig since you started introducing yourselves. “What's the hole for?” She says.
“I'm gonna put water in it to make wet sand. It's going to make it easier to build and harder to collapse.” And right after you say that you stand up, bucket in hand, ready to go and fetch water from the shining ocean behind you.
But just as you're about to go, the girl with the pretty eyebrows calls out again, “What's your name? You never told us.” Right.
“Han Y/N.” You tell her with a smile.
“Han Y/N.” She repeats your name back to you, like you're not supposed to know it already. It sounds pretty coming from her. 
The sunset glow crashes in the sea and bounces back into the eyes of the girl. You see them glisten as she looks into yours. Your heart starts beating as fast as it was when you were running around earlier.
“Don’t ever play soccer near my sandcastles.”
You look like an idiot, laughing by yourself in your seat. It's already night when you feel the bus stop in its tracks. You realize it's slightly warmer than when you departed, even at these hours of the night.
You're here. And you're not laughing anymore.
Everything you dread is getting closer by the second, and you don't want to face it.
It's been three years since the last time you saw your friends, since you saw Minji. Three years of only speaking to her in the group chat. Three years of believing you've gotten over her when in reality you were just getting distracted.
Because if you had truly moved on you wouldn't be worrying about moving on.
You step out of your bus and smell the scent of the ocean. Your worries fade away for the rest of the night. You'll worry about that tomorrow.
You're home.
It’s around 10:30 P.M. Knowing your parents they wouldn’t be asleep right now. They’re probably watching replays of soccer matches or some strange animal documentary. Even after three years you can tread lightly towards your home. Not much has changed.
The street lights are dim, and the wooden floor boards of the port are not much louder than the last time they squeaked beneath your feet. You take a picture of the moon watching over the dancing waves, then keep walking.
You wish you don’t run into any of your friends on the way to your house. It’s not like you don’t want to see them, but it’s late, and you couldn’t catch even a wink of sleep the whole ride. You just want to see your parents and sleep in between the warmth of their bodies like you did when you were just a kid. You chuckle at the memory.
You step into your neighborhood. Most of the lights are turned off, but you can hear a couple of things as you walk deeper into the block. Crickets, waves, and a couple different TV stations. 
You get closer to the neighboring house from yours. Gyuvin’s house. The lights in the first floor are off, but there’s a dim light coming from the window of the bedroom facing the street. It (probably still) belonged to Gyuvin himself. You don’t really know what he’s doing at this hour of the night, but you won’t bother him right now, even when you get the urge to text him something like ‘look out ur window’.
You hear the voice of a commentator from outside the door of your house. They were watching replays. Knew it. You think about what to do next. It’ll be too loud if you ring the doorbell, Gyuvin might notice you’re here and come around to investigate, And then you get a sudden, bright idea.
You set your gym bag on the ground and start typing your mom’s number to call her, clicking on her contact when it shows up. You take a big breath and wait for her to answer, it doesn’t take her long.
“Hello, baby! What’s going on?” There’s a twinge of worry in her voice but she always answers so happily when you call her. You chuckle deviously, mischief is about to begin.
“Hi mama! I sent you guys a surprise, I’m calling to make sure if the package arrived safely. Sorry about the time, by the way.” You try to mask the smile appearing on your lips as you talk.
“A package?” She seems confused, “I.. We didn’t get anything.” She sounds a little more concerned.
“Really? Can you check the door? Maybe it came late.”
“I don’t think it’d come this late, darling.”
“Just check, ma. Please.” You hang up. You feel a little sorry for leaving your mother bothered and confused, but you try to telepathically tell her it’ll be worth it.
Your heartbeat starts picking up its pace when you hear the door unlock. You put your phone in your pocket and pick your bag up again.
 When the door opens, the first thing you notice is your mom’s disheveled hair, probably from laying on the couch and watching TV. The second thing you notice is that her eyes immediately fall on the doorstep, and she frowns when she finds nothing. The third thing you notice is that, even before she realizes you’re there, she’s already taking out her phone to call you again, but she sees a pair of shoes in front of her before she gets around to doing that.
Her eyes travel from your old sneakers to the top of your head, and then they fall back at your face. Her jaw drops and her eyes look like they hold the moonlight in them when she realizes it’s actually you.
“Y/Nie…” She’s a little breathless when she says your name, and you laugh at the sound of rustling behind her. Your dad probably heard her.
“Hello!” You simply greet. Your father appears shortly behind your mother and you send a wave at him when you see he’s making the exact same expression as her. “Am I going to be outside all night? That’s how you greet your daughter?”
Your mother throws herself at you with a hearty laugh, it makes you happy too. “When did you get here?!” She asks, a little too loud for your liking, but you won’t complain. You pull away to greet your dad, who was frozen on the doorframe.
“Just now, actually.” Your father is in shock, but he does his best to hug you back, and the hug gets tighter when he finally understands it’s really his daughter. You giggle a little at his lack of words, then tap his back a little rougher when you start struggling to breathe, “Hey! Not so tight!”
He lets go and you hear him laugh more calmly now. “Let’s go in. Gyuvin doesn’t know I’m here yet and I want to surprise him tomorrow.” Your mom closes the door behind you, and then hits you on the back, quite roughly for your taste.
“How dare you not tell us you were coming?!” She rubs the same spot where she hit you when she hears you hiss at the pain, “It was a surprise!” You argue.
“Did you have dinner?” Your dad asks already in the kitchen, and your stomach growls even before you can respond. You giggle shyly at the noise, “I’ll take that as a no.” He says, “Go sit with your mom and watch TV with her. I’ll heat up something.”
“Oh, we’re not watching anything. You’re gonna tell me everything you’ve been doing.” Your mother taps the seat beside her on the couch, which you gladly take. “How was the season?”
You’re so happy to be back.
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You wake up with the sunrise.
You fully expected to open your eyes and be hugging your mom while your dad was already up in the kitchen. And that did happen, except you wake up with your back sore from falling asleep on the couch. Your dad is in the kitchen, making breakfast for you three.
You rub your eyes and yawn. It wasn’t that late, you woke up pretty early actually. 8:27 A.M. Maybe it’s because your body is used to waking up early. Your dad looks back at you and laughs at your messy hair, smiles brighter when he sees one of your mom’s arms sticking out of the couch. “Rise and shine!” He says brightly.
“Morning…” The sound of your croaky voice seems to wake up your mom, as she’s already rubbing her face.
“Smells good.” She says in the same tone as you. “Is it almost done?”
“I just finished. Come take a seat.” Your dad turns off the gas from the stove. The scent of kimchi jjigae fills your home, and it makes you feel a lot more energized even before having a taste of it.
You run your hand through your hair to try and make it more presentable. Your mother goes up to your dad to ask for a taste, he waits for her approval. You start setting the cutlery and it makes you think of the mornings before school, but rather than getting sentimental, you enjoy the moment with a smile.
“Y/Nie, do you want apple juice?” Your mom asks with the fridge open, you just nod as you sit down.
When the three of you sit down to finally eat, you start to realize how much you actually missed this. You spent your mornings in Seoul either eating a quick and not-really-filling meal, or eating an energy bar and a vending machine kimbap with your teammates before practice. You don’t remember the last time you had a hearty breakfast.
The sound of laughter and birds chirping combined with the smell of a home cooked meal and the warmth of a seaside morning couldn’t compare to any of the emotions that crossed your heart whenever you won a match. 
Your mom and dad gossip to you about your neighbors and everything you missed while you were away.
You don’t find it hard to believe when they tell you that the weird old man that used to drink his nights away at the port got arrested. One of your neighbors' sons dropped out of college to be a model, Kim Sunoo apparently. Good for him, you always thought he had a pretty face.
Supposedly, Minji keeps her title as the number 1 student even in college. You’re not surprised, but you do feel full all of a sudden. There’s just a little bit of stew left when you groan, “Ah… I’m full…”
Your mom raises an eyebrow, “Already?” She looks at your bowl and laughs, “Nevermind, you finished pretty fast.”
“Do you eat well in Seoul?” Your dad asks. You feel a little flustered at the question and stutter when you answer, “I mean… not in the morning, but I eat pretty healthily the rest of the day. Me and Haneul prepare meals when we have afternoon practice. I’d say we’re pretty good cooks.”
Your parents laugh, “I guess we’ll put you to the test one day.” Your mom nudges you, “And it’s ‘Haneul and I’, by the way.”
The correction makes your eyes roll as you stand up to wash your dishes, “Yeah, yeah, grammar queen. I’m gonna go take a shower and go to Gyuvin’s to surprise him, ‘kay?”
“Aye aye, captain!” Either your parents planned to do the same move and say the same thing at the same time beforehand, or they’re literal soulmates.
You get out of the shower and choose a simple outfit- some baggy, ripped jeans and a graphic tee that you found in your closet (you asked your mom if it was clean enough for you to wear, considering the closet looked a little dusty; she said it was fine). The shirt felt a little tight around the arms and it was quite smaller than you expected, but it wasn’t uncomfortable at all. If anything it made the outfit more interesting.
So you stand outside your friend's house, with nothing in your hands but a smile on your face. You’re not really sure if it’ll be him or his mom answering the door, but you hope either of them will be happy to see you.
You ring the doorbell, and immediately hear footsteps get closer from inside. You don’t know if your heart is going to race everytime this happens, but you just hope you get used to the feeling. The door opens and you're met with a familiar face, Ms. Kim, Gyuvin’s mom, dressed up and ready to go to work. It’s summer, though?
“Y/Nie?” She looks delighted to see you, and yet quite surprised. “You came back!”
You give her a bright smile after you bow in respect, “Good morning, Ms. Kim! How have you been?” 
She steps back in a manner to invite you inside, “Oh, I’ve been well, dear. Gyuvin told me you weren’t able to visit these past years. We all missed you very much.” Her words surprise you, and you feel a little guilt squeezing your heart for two seconds.
“I’m glad to hear that, Ms.” She walks around the kitchen, packing what seems to be a lunchbox into her bag, yet still giving you her full attention. “Are you heading to work?” You ask curiously.
“Oh, yeah.” She looks a little agitated, “They don’t give me breaks, baby. I work for the news now!”
“Oh! How has that been going?”
She stops in her tracks, “Honestly, quite great.” She says, and you both laugh together. “Does Gyuvin know you’re here? I imagine he’s who you came to see.”
“He doesn’t.” The woman looks quite surprised. “I wanted to surprise him. I arrived just yesterday.”
“Oh honey, you’re gonna give him a heart attack.” She laughs and you chuckle, “I hope not!” You say,
“He’s in his room. He’s probably still asleep, but he’ll wake up if you knock hard enough. Make sure he doesn’t think you’re me, then he won’t get up.” The woman unlocks the door, coat hanging from her arm and bag over her shoulder, when she sees you nod. “I heard you won third place this half, right?”
“That’s right, ma’am.” You proudly say.
“Go Tigers!” Is the last thing she says before she walks out of the door. What a charming woman. You smile at yourself before walking up the stairs to your friend’s room.
Knock knock. No answer.
Knock knock knock. A groan.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. A louder groan.
“Kim Gyuvin, I will bust your door down.” You yell, “You think my legs haven’t gotten stronger?”
Fast stomps and the sound of a clutter of objects falling on the ground startle you slightly. The door opens so roughly you wonder if Gyuvin himself has also gotten stronger.
“Y/N?!”
“What fell on the ground?” You chuckle. He hugs you, possibly tighter than your dad. You didn’t quite expect it, but you welcome it anyway.
He pulls away like he’s checking if you’re not a hologram. You laugh the hardest when he pokes your cheek. He looks relieved, then mad. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?! When did you get here?!”
“I got here yesterday. You were still awake, I think. But I wanted to greet you properly, and I was really tired last night.” You explain with a little bit of remorse.
“Dude!” He hugs you once again, “Bro, I can’t believe you're back!” You hug him just as tightly. “I’m really happy I’m here.”
He pushes you lightly with a smirk, “Don’t get sappy on me.” He teases, “Congrats on third place, tiger.” You cringe at the nickname and push him back.
“Eww!” You both laugh, and you notice the bundle of things he has on the floor of his room, “You dropped all that?”
Gyuvin looks back, and pushes you out of his room, closing the door in shame. Unbelievable.
You hear him pick up the things and put them back in place, until he finally opens the door again. You’re right where he left you. “Get dressed. Your mom made you breakfast.”
“Wait, help me pick an outfit!” You’ve been here for less than a day and he’s already being annoying. Like always.
“Bro, I’m wearing a shirt that’s too small for me, I am not the one to ask for fashion help.”
“That’s your fault for getting swole!” You hear him yell while you go down the stairs. Maybe nothing's really changed.
You’re back at the kitchen. You look at the lonely plate at the table, it doesn’t look very appetizing. It’s not like it’s a bad meal, it’s an omelet and toast, but when you touch it it’s abnormally cold. Fuck you Gyuvin. He was probably supposed to wake up a while ago.
You take the plate and place it in the microwave, one minute should be fine. You open the fridge and snoop around to see if they still- yup, they still have a box of the triangle juice boxes you and Gyuvin always shared at school. Apple was your favorite. You’re sure he or his mom won’t mind you taking one while you wait for the food to heat up.
You take the little plastic straw attached to the juice box and stab it into the designated hole. Just as you close the fridge, you hear the shutter sound effect from a phone. You turn around and see Gyuvin already dressed up and smiling at his phone.
“Did you take a picture of me?” You ask. The microwave beeps, “That’s your food.”
“Check the group chat.” He says as he walks past you to the microwave. You take out your phone and rest your elbows on the counter when you open up the group chat. Gyuvin named it “Beach boys”, even when he himself was the only male.
You’re immediately met with a picture of you from your side, stabbing a hole into your apple juice box. You looked at yourself in the mirror this morning, but you only realize how tight the sleeves of your shirt look when you stare at the photo. “Damn…” You mutter
“Ow! Ow! Hot!” Gyuvin yelps as he walks beside you, plate in his hands. He sits down at the table while you scroll back up to check the other messages.
gyuv | 9:44 A.M.
guys Y/N got so swole its actually insane
sully | 9:44 A.M.
Well yeah shes an athlete what were u expecting
henny | 9:44 A.M.
did she post something on ig?
where is this coming from
minj | 9:44 A.M.
Good morning first of all
gyuv | 9:45 A.M.
yeah but ud expect her legs to get bigger or her thighs idk
tell me why this absolute gremlin has bigger biceps than me
i feel threatened
this feels like a bro code violation
henny | 9:45 A.M.
this feels more like you just being insecure
i checked her ig and theres nothing?
sully | 9:45 A.M.
Vin are you hallucinating be honest
minj | 9:45 A.M.
Why gremlin
If anything the gremlin is hanni
henny | 9:45 A.M.
literally so out of pocket
what compelled you to say that
gyuv | 9:46 A.M. 
[1 attachment]
henny | 9:46 A.M.
Gyuvin is that ur fuckign house
is that han Y/N in your fucking house.
minj | 9:46 A.M.
What the hell
You | 9:46 A.M.
hi guys!
henny | 9:47 A.M.
Han Y/N are you in gyuvins fucking house
You | 9:47 A.M.
possibly
gyuv | 9:47 A.M.
[1 attachment]
guys im shaking theres a uleague third place winner in my kitchen
im so honored
sully | 9:47 A.M.
Omg she did get swole
Hiii Y/N
gyuv | 9:47 A.M.
RIGHT
IM SAYING LIKE
U DONT EVEM USE UR ARMS IN SOCCER
henny | 9:47 A.M.
Y/N when the FUCK did u get here
im gonna start vrying omg
You | 9:48 A.M.
i got here yesterday at night
i wanted to surprise u guys but ig gyuvin got too excited
pham hanni DO NOT CRY
hi sullyyy !!
henny | 9:48 A.M.
ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS
You | 9:48 A.M.
stop cursing so much omg
minj | 9:48 A.M.
This is actually crazy
How could you say nothing to us
I feel lowkey betrayed Han Y/N
You | 9:48 A.M.
IM SORRY???
so surprises are the worst thing in the world now huh
gyuvs mom was so much happier to see me than you guys fr
going back to seoul
it seems im not welcome
henny | 9:48 A.M.
Y/N actually stop playing rn
where do we meet
You | 9:49 A.M
me and gyuv will pick u guys up
were going to the soccer field
but i got money from the scholarship so we can buy stuff on the way
gyuv | 9:49 A.M.
guys just to be clear i had literally no idea she was here
she showed up at my house 20 mins ago
sully | 9:49 A.M.
Omg we can go to that antique shop thats close to our high school
henny | 9:50
literally how r u so calm abt this
minj | 9:50 A.M.
Maybe ur just abnormal
You cackle loudly at Minji's last text.
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When you arrive at Yoona's house, she's already waiting for you two on her porch. She looks a little taller than when you last saw her. Her eyes light up when she sees you arrive.
“Y/N!” She runs up to you and hugs you so tightly your breath falls a little short. What's with everyone and suffocating you lately? “I missed you so much!”
“I missed you too, Sully!” You smile at her when you pull back, and the first thing she does is poke your arm. Her jaw drops in awe at the toughness of the muscle and it makes you laugh.
Gyuvin comes up behind you both with his arms open and a silly smirk, “Where my hug at?” It's quite awful. Yoona gags and sends him a distasteful look, which quickly shuts him down
You missed this. And it’s like this - full of banter and laughs - the whole way to Hanni’s house, the three of you take turns at making fun of each other, with the brief recurring tease at your job as an athlete.
Your friends like to brag about you being a college athlete, and a good one at that, but they certainly enjoyed sitting you up on a pedestal as a joke. They talked about you like you were the main star of the national team when in reality most people had little to no idea who you were even on campus, with the exception of the Yujin fans who tried using you to get close to her.
“Y/N, I promise you, when you make it on the national team, there’s gonna be a ton of fan accounts for you.” You’re in the middle of pushing Gyuvin away and blushing at his comment, about to contradict him when you hear a voice calling you.
“Han Y/N!” You don’t even realize you were already at Hanni’s house when you look towards the sound and two girls are waiting for you at the steps of a big house.
The first thing you notice is Hanni’s hair. She cut it, a fuckass (affectionately) bob that looked exactly like the one she wore the first time you ever met her.
The second thing you notice is that Minji is right beside her, already smiling at you. She stands up from the steps she and Hanni were sitting on and shakes off the dust from her pants. She wears a simple white graphic shirt and oversized blue jeans, beige puffer jacket hanging off her arms, and she looks so much taller than how she did when she was 16.
(That’s weird, shouldn’t she have stopped growing by then?)
The third thing you notice is your heartbeat suddenly racing when her eyes and yours meet for the first time in three years.
It beats at the same pace it did when the afternoon sun hit her face when you were 7. It beats at the same pace it did when you stared at her sitting by the window in middle school. It beats at the same pace it did when she sat beside you on the bus and fell asleep with her head on your shoulder.
Nothing has changed. Nothing at all.
It hits you like a bullet through your chest, but you try your best to ignore it as Hanni runs towards you. 
“You asshole!” She yells with a smile on her face, and it contaminates your lips when she hugs you. She doesn’t hug you as tightly, but it’s longer than you expected. When she finally pulls away from you you touch the short strands of hair that cover her ears.
“What happened here?” You ask, watching in awe at the striking change.
“I kind of had an existential crisis last night.” She responds shyly while caressing her trimmed locks. “Minji helped me make it look better. It did not look good when I did it. They didn’t know either!” She points at the two behind you, both of them with their jaws hanging when you look back.
“Dude, you literally look seven again.” You say. You don’t mean it in a teasing way, she genuinely looks younger, but you reconsider telling her that when she hits you in the arm. Hanni widens her eyes at the unexpected roughness, “What the hell… you did get swole.”
“Can we stop talking about that?” The topic of your arms is starting to tire you, but it’s mostly embarrassing, so you groan at the mention.
You hear Minji laugh when Hanni goes up to the other two and they immediately start touching her new hair. It makes you laugh too, but you gasp a little when you feel a hand touch your shoulder.
“Hey.” She says, her god-damned pretty eyes look at you so sweetly, and her voice is so soft, and-
“Hey!” You say before thoughts about her take up your brain and you awkwardly freeze.
She smiles right before she hugs you, and it’s surprisingly warm, but you’re sure most of it comes from your own blood rushing everywhere inside you.
Everything about her is gentle, her eyes, her voice, her embrace. It’s a complete one-eighty in contrast to the tightness of everyone else who’s put their arms around you for the past two days.
“I missed you.” She says so delicately, almost quiet, even if she says it right next to your ear. And you’re about to melt, and she has no idea, so you hug her back, a little less soft than how she does, and say “I missed you too.”
It comes out a lot more calmly than you expect it, and you internally praise yourself for not making a fool out of yourself. It’s not like you want to pull away, but you might start sweating if you don’t.
You take your arms off her back and her warmth suddenly fades away. When she looks at your face again, there’s a small grin painting her lips, “Congrats on the win.” She pokes at your shoulder and you laugh at the gesture.
“It’s only third place. I want first.”
“Oh wow!” Her amused smile makes you dizzy, “Didn’t know you were so ambitious.”
“People change, I guess.” You giggle with her. But you haven’t really changed at all.
“Well, you better get first place, tiger.” She teases and you groan even louder at the nickname as you get away from her to join your friends. Maybe getting over Minji won’t be so hard.
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Getting over Minji is going to be fucking impossible. Matter of fact, you're sure it’s never gonna happen. You’re going to be 45 and still think about her, and it’s going to slowly kill you.
You stare as she holds a little cow plush in her hands, inspecting it carefully. Her round eyes shine just like the glossy buttons of the doll. You think of a believable excuse before you take your phone out of your pocket and open the camera app.
You zoom in and despise how your fingers tremble before you snap a photo of the girl, unbeknownst to her.
Gyuvin comes up behind you, his voice is quiet yet it still startles you, “What’s the pic for?”
You look at him with widened eyes and bring your hand to your chest. “Just… memories.” Truth lies within your (not quite) excuse. “I want to look back on things like this when I go back to Seoul.”
The boy narrows his eyes at you and smirks, “So sappy.” He teases, so you zoom out the camera to 0.5 and take a bad close up of his face, “Hey!” He laughs.
You get away and put your phone back in your pocket to look at more of the items in the store. Many things catch your eye, small, shiny, weird, big, you could buy it all if you had the money to.
You walk around the shop, your eyes examine all the items on the old wooden tables and your fingers lightly brush on some of the more eye-catching trinkets. You stare at the little ceramic figurines of dogs and cats and other animals and mentally consider buying the little calico cat on the far left.
There are some cute keychains with little black and white designs as you pass by. You add them to your roster too. Hanni’s voice catches your attention from a few steps away.
“Y/N! What do you think of this cardigan?” She’s in the clothing section of the store, sporting a vintage cream colored wool cardigan with little brown stripes on the sides of the sleeves. It’s a little big on her, but oversized is trendy so it’s fine.
“It’s cute!” Your eyes glance towards some of the clothes behind her, “I like that one better though.” You point at the blue-gray checkered sweater behind her and she frowns in confusion when she looks at it, “Y/N, that’s so ugly.” Guess you don’t have an eye for fashion.
“Oh well…” You sigh and keep looking for more artifacts.
As you walk around, you accidentally bump the top of your head on some of the ornaments that hang on the ceiling, the sound of multiple wind chimes emerge a little before your quiet “Ow!”, which grabs the attention of Yoona and Gyuvin.
“You okay?” The girl asks in concern, but you can hear her hold back a laugh between her teeth. Gyuvin isn’t so subtle, his laughs resonating on the walls of the shop.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” You assure Yoona as you rub your forehead with your eyes closed, turned away in embarrassment. When your eyes open again, they land on an item that makes you freeze a little.
A small, pale blue hair clip. It looked oddly similar, if not exactly the same as the one Minji wore on the first day you met. The clip she lost on that same day while the five of you swam in the ocean together.
You remember her being so upset when she realized it wasn’t there anymore, so much she cried silently on the way back to your respective houses. She was over the sadness of losing it in less than a week, but it stuck with you after Hanni told you in a whisper that it was the first time she ever saw Minji cry.
You immediately take the clip in your hands, the first item you’re certain you will buy. Actually, you buy it in that same instant. Thankfully, none of your friends seem to notice your quiet purchase, too engrossed in their own item search.
The five of you spend around 40 minutes in total in that damn shop, and you could kind of tell the owner was getting sick of Gyuvin’s constant questions on how he acquired the items. “They’re mostly donations or things I find on trips. I don’t know anything else.” He says.
In the end, you bought a few more things apart from the hair clip. You did end up buying the little calico cat figurine, a silver necklace with a spiral pendant, a pack of stamps with really cool designs, and a love letter.
There was a cardboard box sitting on a chair in one corner of the shop with a sign that said “Old Love Letters, ₩300 Each”, and not only is it something you’ve never seen anyone sell before, but it’s also cheap. How could you not buy a chance to snoop around in unknown people’s love lives? 
You put your stuff in the little tote bag Yoona had bought for you. She said the design made her think of you (it had three monochrome fish painted over it).
Now you’re making your way towards the nearest soccer field. You used to play there all the time with Gyuvin, sometimes the other girls joined, or some of the other kids in the neighborhood.
The five of you walked with you right in the middle, like you were the center of a K-pop group. It definitely made you stand out to the locals of the neighborhoods you passed through, and some of them even recognized you and went as far as to congratulate you.
Did your parents tell the entire town about your rank in the league?
“It’s like I’m walking with a celebrity.” Hanni voices just as you get back from shaking hands with one of the old men of the neighborhood. As much as you enjoy the praise and congratulations, it’s a little embarrassing to acknowledge you’re gaining a lot more fame within this town. You imagine this is how famous soccer players feel everytime they go out in public.
“Microcelebrity.” You clarify, “Aren’t you an influencer?” You recall Hanni spamming the group chat one time in the first year of high school because one of her Instagram posts had gone viral. After a while of her videos getting more and more views, she started gaining a small following and could be considered a daily-life influencer.
“Yeah, but most of my followers aren’t from here so I don’t get recognized everytime I go out.”
“To be fair, this is the first time this has happened to me. My parents probably told the whole town about this.”
“Oh, they sure did. Even my mom found out.” Minji states, to your surprise. Minji’s mother was well known for not liking any sports at all, and it’s not that she hated them, she just wasn’t interested. She didn’t even know who Messi or Ronaldo were.
“Wow… I knew they liked to gossip, but that’s… crazy.” You scratch your nape shyly. Your parents are known for finding out everything, but you didn’t know they also told everything they knew.
“She didn’t really know what anything meant but she was very happy for you.” She says with a smile.
Oh! There’s a strange giddy feeling that shows up as a smile on your face you can’t hold back. You’re not really sure what to say, but you don’t even have to worry about it, because before you realize you’re already at the field, and when the boys that are playing there take notice of your presence, all you can hear is screams.
Sounds of “Y/N Noona!”, “No way it’s Y/N!”, “You’re back?!” get closer as the match pauses and they start running towards you. Most of them are your high school classmates, some are your younger neighbors or underclassmen you played with during recess.
You get closer and they bombard you with hugs and questions, with countless reminders of how much they missed you. One of them complains about you not answering his texts, and another boy defends you by excusing your forgetfulness on being busy.
“Okay, okay. I’ll make it up to you with a match, okay?”
You end up playing for two hours straight, the first half with your friends as a team, but after a while it seemed like the only one with energy left was you. Not even Gyuvin could keep up your pace.
“No wonder she’s an athlete.” Hanni says, fanning herself under the shadow of a tree that trespassed the field enclosure. Your friends were all sitting down on the ground, watching attentively at the match you played against the boys while chatting.
It was 5v1 and you were winning 4-2.
Minji watched carefully at the way you carried yourself on the field, so graceful and yet not passive at all, a different perspective compared to how you usually are.
There's a little bit of sweat that glistens on your forehead, and after playing for such a long time you only now start to look slightly tired. “I pray everyday she makes it to the national team and gets rich.” Gyuvin says.
“Same.” Hanni answers, laying down on a blanket over the warm grass and resting her head on her bag and it makes Yoona laugh when she grumbles at the discomfort of feeling all the crystals she bought on the back of her head.
The boys score another goal at you, so you decide to get serious and start playing like you would at a normal university match. Minji stares when you run faster and slide through the opponents so easily. She kind of wonders if she could calculate your speed mentally.
Field length = 55 meters, Penalty area length = 9 meters
You were around 9.2 meters from the halfway line and traveled around 18 meters in a straight line, Minji counts 4 seconds.
18/4 = 5 m/s, 1 m/s = 3.6 km/h, 5 * 3.6 = 18 km/h
Han Y/N’s speed in that one moment was 18 km/h.
The average maximum sprint speed of La Liga athletes was 30 km/h, according to an NLM article (don’t ask Minji how she knows that; she isn’t even studying medicine).
Suddenly Minji feels the need to see you play an actual serious match.
“I don’t think you need to pray.” She says with a smirk, standing up from the ground and wiping away the bristles of grass stuck to her jeans. “She has it in the bag.”
The others notice her taking out her wallet from her pocket, “Can you buy me a Fanta?” Gyuvin makes puppy eyes at Minji, even while knowing they never work on her, or anyone for that matter.
She gives him nothing but a wave and walks away, “She’s not getting you shit, dude.” Hanni kicks Gyuvin in the back with the tip of her foot and Yoona laughs at the scene.
The grocery store is not far away at all, only a block from the field, and Minji treads lightly with her mind made up on what to buy. A bag of chips and two glasses of apple juice, and maybe a strawberry lollipop for Hanni, NOT cherry, she notes.
The owner is an older lady who used to babysit Minji’s mom. She’s seen her countless times in her life so it’s easy for her to greet her brightly. “It’s been so long, Minji!” The woman greets her, her aged features morphing into a kind smile.
It’s true, it has been a long time. She doesn’t really come here that often anymore unless she’s taking a walk out of boredom or walking the neighbors dog when she’s out of town. She used to come here all the time when you all went to play soccer, but the matches got less and less frequent after you left, mostly because the only one who actually wanted to play was Gyuvin.
Minji makes her way to the drink section of the store and lights up when she sees the chilled glasses of apple juice right where she remembers them being. She was honestly surprised you hadn’t brought a water bottle with you when you left, and maybe just water would be healthier and hydrate you better, but she’d rather make you happier with your favorite drink.
(You would’ve been happy enough even if she just brought you water.)
The glass is cold when it reaches her hand, a nice contrast from the heat of the afternoon sun. She was starting to get a little hungry so maybe instead of chips she’d get a sandwich. Maybe she’ll get two.
She excuses herself in her mind, she’s not excluding her other friends! It’s just… this day is about you, of course her focus would be you. And maybe tomorrow. And maybe the whole time you’re here. She laughs at herself while walking up to the counter. She meant it when she told you she missed you.
“That would be ₩4,200 but I’ll give to you for ₩4,000 because I missed you.” The woman beams her a warm smile and Minji can’t help but return it. She hands her 4,200 won anyways and is out the door before the woman can complain. “Bye, Mrs. Do!”
Minji walks back with a smile on her face, the wind hits and blows her hair back. Some leaves and dust get blown her way too but she doesn’t have to squint her eyes because they already do that when she smiles. 
The sun isn’t as bright and the rays don’t burn her skin anymore. She hears louds screams just as she’s getting closer to the field, and when she looks through the gaps of the metal enclosure she sees Gyuvin running up to hug you while the boys you were playing with fall to the ground in defeat.
She missed your win. Minji puckers up her bottom lip and sighs, shoulders shrugging helplessly.
You hadn’t even realized she had left until you see her enter the field again, so you send her a light smile she almost doesn’t catch. She looks back to the other girls and when her eyes meet Hanni laying on the grass she realizes she forgot her strawberry lollipop. Oh well.
She sits down next to Yoona and takes her sandwich out of her bag.
“What’d you buy?”
“Just stuff. Nothing for Gyuvin.”
Yoona laughs at the comment. “The apple juice is for Y/N, right?” Minji nods as she looks at you tap the boys on the back to cheer them up, “You can have the other one if you want.”
Minji was just about to open the packaging of her sandwich when she sees you and Gyuvin walk towards her. She quickly stops her actions and takes the other cold glass from the plastic bag, struggles a little to open the lid, and just as you take your last step she holds the cold apple juice to your face, or the closest to it her arm could reach.
You’re a little taken aback, but luckily you don’t blush at her act. Instead you just smile at her, mirroring Minji’s own kind smile and take the glass from her hand. “Thanks.” You say before you take a sip.
Both of your hearts feel full, yours at the flavor of apple that fills your tastebuds and calms the thirst of running for hours, and hers at the fact she made you even just a little happy with such a small action.
You gulp down probably half the glass down and end it with a “Ah~” that makes your friends laugh. “You still do that?” Hanni sits up and rests her hands behind her on the grass.
“What do you mean?”
“You’ve done that since you were a kid.” Minji says and your eyebrows raise,”Really?” All your friends nod.
“I never noticed.”
Minji goes back to her sandwich as you and Gyuvin sit down in front of the other three. You’re tired now, but you don’t wanna lay on the grass because you say it makes you itch, so you try resting your body weight on Gyuvin, to which he adamantly pushes you away, “You’re heavy, Y/N!”
“What the hell, bro. I’m literally not?” You pout at him to try and get him to surrender but he just pushes you away harder every time you try to lay your back against him.
“Go lay on Minji or something, not me.” He says as he pushes you for the last time, you hear Hanni laugh.
You look at Minji and she’s already putting away the plastic bag she had on her lap. Oh, okay, yeah, no biggie. No problem at all.
You do a great impression of acting normal and move to sit next to her. “The shadow is better on this side anyways.” You fake whine at the boy as Minji grabs your shoulder and guides you to rest your back on top of her legs.
You turn your body so that you face her and hope she can’t tell your heart starts beating faster when you notice she’s already looking down at you. It’s a beautiful scene.
Minji’s face, the green leaves of the trees behind her and the sun peeking through the gaps, the wind blowing her hair a little to the side, the way her eyes smile at the same time she does. “Hey.”
“Hey.” You answer.
Everything about this is normal! You have to close your eyes so you believe it, and you start to after a few seconds. Everything about this is normal. It feels so normal and you love it.
It’s soothing. The wind caresses your face and you lose focus on the conversation your friends were having beside you.
And then Minji starts running her fingers through your hair and you lose focus on anything that’s not her.
Your heartbeat picks up for a few seconds and then it doesn’t. And then it’s all calm again. Your eyes are closed but your mind pictures Minji so vividly, smiling at you sweetly while her eyes. Her loving eyes.
God, you hope you’re not blushing, because you can already feel yourself getting warm all over. Thankfully, the gentle breeze is there to save you when you need it.
 And then there’s a moment where everything, the breeze, Minji’s hands caressing you, and the sound of playful conversation, all merge at the perfect moment and you experience a calm that feels heavenly. Almost divine, and it sends you into instant slumber.
You don’t really remember every detail of what you dream of, you just remember it being about Minji, Seoul and snow. Either way, you know it had something to do with her confessing her feelings to you after you win nationals. You remember that you froze after she kissed you, then called your name after she saw you not move.
“Y/N! Y/N!” You hear your name being called out, then your body being shaked roughly. “Y/N!” You hear loudly before you wake yourself up.
“Sorry!” You don’t know what you’re apologizing for until your body jerks away and your forehead almost hits Minji’s. “Oh, sorry.”
“You fell asleep.” She states the obvious with a giggle.
“No shit, queen.” You hear Hanni laugh loudly at your response. “How long was I out for?”
“It’s 5:25.” Yoona says behind you, only then you realize they were already packing up and it was time to go. Where? You have no idea.
“Shit. Sorry guys.” You sit back up and stretch your muscles before you can stand properly.
“My legs fell asleep, you know?” Minji announces, and when you look back at her she has a teasing smirk on her face.
“Yeah, well, maybe blame Gyuv for that.” You answer sassily, but you can’t help but feel a little guilty.
Said male goes to grab the tote bag Yoona got you and the half finished apple juice you left behind and holds the bag it to your face while you’re still stretching, “Hurry up, girl. We gotta go to the beach before sunset.” He throws the bag at you and you catch it just in time.
“Careful! I have a cat in there!”
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You arrive at the beach at exactly 6:00 P.M. and as soon as you get to the sand Gyuvin is already taking his shoes and shirt off. You look at everyone, confused on the plan you never actually listened to.
“We were going to swim?”
“Do you not want to?” Hanni asks.
“I don’t know…” You look at your friends with a sorry expression. You were already worn out from the whole match, and even after you slept a whole two hours on Minji’s lap, you still felt a little tired. “I’m kinda drained guys.”
“Bro… How could you?” Minji looks at you like she’s so betrayed and you laugh at her annoying little face that’s also so pretty and cute and annoying
“Bro… I’m sorry.” You play along. Calling the love of your life “bro” is crazy.
Okay, “love of your life” is an exaggeration (it’s literally not, in every sense of the word literally).
“I’ll watch your bags and take pics!” You tried bargaining, and they look at you like you’re crazy. “Guys, please, we can come swim tomorrow. The beach is not going anywhere considering we literally live beside it.”
Then Yoona gets real close to you and whispers, “You’ll pay for this.” then takes off her shoes.
“What the hell, man.”
Gyuvin and Yoona are already running at the sea and splashing each other, they don’t actually care about you not joining. Hanni hands you her bag with a strange force and you don’t know where it came from, “Take care of my babies.” She says.
“Your… babies?”
“My crystals.”
“Oh, right. I will.”
Minji walks up to you when Hanni walks away and hands you her jacket and another bag, this time plastic, “There’s one sandwich left in there. I told Gyubin not to eat it and I didn’t think he was going to listen but he did, surprisingly.” She tells you with a smile.
“Thanks. Very thoughtful of you man.” Alright, pack it up.
Minji sends you one last smile before she leaves and your heart beats when her eyes squint too. You watch her disappear into the waves and smile. You take out your phone and take a picture of your friends all swimming and playing in the water, their silhouettes clashing with the sun that was just about to set. It’s so pretty you make it your lock screen immediately.
You take out a blanket from Hanni’s bag, the same one she was laying on in the soccer field, and spread it on the ground to sit down. You take off your sneakers before they get filled with sand and take comfort in the warmth of the sand beneath you.
You stare at your friends for a bit, a beautiful picture presented just for you. You’re so happy to be back. Your stomach lets out a loud grumble before you even get to tear up. What a way to ruin the mood.
You take the bag Minji gave you and take out the sandwich. Ham, bacon, cheese, lettuce- oh, who cares. You take a bite out of it and it tastes like home. She definitely bought it from Mrs. Do.
It eases your hunger quite well. You hear the waves crash and Minji’s laugh from far away and, what a beautiful sound. What a beautiful person. You think of Minji and think of beautiful, not just from her appearance but her soul. What a beautiful soul.
You take your last bite and your stomach feels full, but you feel a little empty and can’t pinpoint what it is. You feel like you’re forgetting something. You reach for your new bag and search for whatever it seems you're forgetting.
Oh, right, the letter. Suddenly you feel excited.
The sun starts just in time. What a way to set the mood. You take out the white envelope and notice it still has some scent remaining. It kinda smells like something Minji used to wear, jasmine and liquorice. You didn’t smell it on her today, though.
You notice the envelope doesn’t have a sender or recipient name anywhere on it, nowhere at all. Maybe they didn’t plan to send it, or they changed the envelope at the shop. Eager to know more, you rip the envelope, careful not to damage the letter itself.
You take it out and take a deep breath to prepare yourself. You’re probably a little more excited than you should be, but whatever. You’re excited to intrude on a stranger's possibly failed love confession.
Except when you unfold the page, it’s not from a stranger.
You panic and fold the letter closed just as fast as you had opened it. You must have misread, right?
You open it again and the top says “Kim Minji, 23rd of June, 2021” like it’s a diary.
It must be another Kim Minji. There are hundreds of thousands in South Korea. It could be anyone. Anyone at all. So you keep reading in hopes it’s someone who’s not the girl swimming in the sea just a few meters away from you.
Dear Y/N,
It’s not a stranger. It’s Kim Minji. Your Kim Minji. You’re reading an old love letter from Kim Minji. You bought a love letter from Kim Minji for 300 won.
Wait, why is it addressed to you?
Now, you’re more confused than shocked. Now, you have to find out. You were going to put it down and not read it to not intrude and break your own heart, but now you have to find out why on Earth the first two words are Dear Y/N written in Kim Minji’s handwriting. So you keep reading.
Dear Y/N, I hope this finds you well. If you’re reading this, I gave this to you on the 24th or maybe even earlier on a strike of confidence. I hope you’re not keeping yourself up to read this at midnight. I wanted to tell you something I’ve been keeping for a long time before you leave for Seoul. Maybe it’s a selfish thing to do, and it won’t keep you from departing, but I think it would be worse to tell you this through text and I can’t bring myself to say it to your face.
I have feelings for you. Real romantic feelings. I like you a lot.
I like possibly everything about you and it’s killing me that I’m so scared and unable to tell you. I don’t even know what I’m so afraid of, really. Probably rejection, but even if you did like me back I still have to live without you for four years. My wish of you coming to visit me will probably depend on how harsh your rejection is, but I’d still like to see you back regardless.
When you first told us you got that scholarship for Korea University, I was so happy and proud of you. In a perfect world I would have kissed you and told you how happy I was for you and maybe even gone with you. But it’s not a perfect world and I just told you “Congratulations!” and you’re leaving tomorrow, without me. 
I’m not one to take pictures, if anything that’s you, but right now I wish I had an album full of photos of you, of us, because I don’t know how I’ll make it without seeing you everyday. I think I won’t, actually. I hope you consider letting me borrow the photo album full of the countless pictures you take, even if they’re not of you they might fill the void you leave in my heart.
Anything from you will suffice, I think, but just your memory is not enough.
I kinda wish you could stay, but I also know you’re going to do your best over there and I hope you fulfill your dream of being a professional player. When you said you were going to choose to study mass communication I thought “that must mean she’s going to communicate with us a lot!” I hope it does. I hope you don’t miss us too much, but I do hope you miss me a little bit more.
I’ve never written a love letter before, if you could even call this that, so excuse me if this is not a good one, I’m sorry. I should probably state what I like most about you, but I don’t even know where to begin.
I love the way you’re driven to do your best even at the smallest of things. When we first met, you built us the best sand castle I had ever seen in my short life of seven years. The sandcastle was still standing when we went to visit it the next day.
You do your best at school, even when it gets hard for you, and I love that you’re not afraid to ask for help when you really need it. I kind of envy that if I’m honest. I hope you become the best student in your major.
I remember the time we babysat Ms.Yoon’s daughter and you were the only one who knew how to change her diapers and at what time to feed her. I also love how good you are with kids and sometimes it makes me think of very inappropriate thoughts of building a family together, but I won’t get into that because I don’t want to be weirder than I’m already being right now.
I love the way you always try your best to make me smile when I’m upset or stressed and even just the thought of you going out of your way to care is enough for my heart to melt. When I got sick in middle school while my mom was out of town you came to my house every day and made me chicken soup. I think that was the day I started thinking of you as more than just a friend.
I love the way you look when you put your hair up in a ponytail. I used to stare at you the entire time we watched you play during recess in middle school.
I love the way you’re clumsy and you’re never embarrassed about it. You always get up when you fall and you don’t pretend it doesn’t hurt when you scrape your knees. And I love the way you still try to smile when I’m patching up your wounds.
I love the way you always want the best for us and encourage us to be ambitious. I wouldn’t be on top of my class if it weren’t for you.
I love the way you like cats and they like you back. They always hiss at me unless you’re around. Maybe it’s a sign that we should be together all the time.  
I love the way you say Ah~ when you finish drinking water after playing soccer.
I love (you) the way you love apple juice. I hope you feel the same. – Kim Minji
P.s. if you don’t i also understand and you’re free to do whatever you want with this letter.
You have no idea at what point you started to tear up, but you only realize when a tear falls from your eye into the paper and blurs the ink in the last “Minji”. 
You don’t even process anything around you at that point. All you can think about is that Minji liked you 3 years ago and never told you and now you don’t even know if she still likes you.
No matter how much you think about it, you would’ve absolutely given her your photo album, if only the letter had actually gotten to you when it was supposed to.
“I saw you open the letter from over there, I came here to be nosy.” You can’t tell anything she says because you’re so entranced but you can tell it’s Minji’s voice. You freeze when she sits beside you.
“Is it any good?” She asks before realizing you’re completely paralyzed. “Hey, are you crying?” She touches your shoulder in concern, and it wakes you up a little bit, but the only thing you can do is hand her the letter.
She stares at you for a few seconds before she finally takes the page and mutters, “Oh.”
You don’t really want to look at her, and you don’t know what comes over you that makes you turn your head anyways. The red sun rays hit her face in a way that makes her tan skin glow. Her hair is damp and her shirt is stuck to her body but you don’t dare to look.
She’s clearly just as shocked as you are to see the object in her hands. And she still looks so beautiful. “Y/N, I-” You wipe your tears and sniff before she turns and see them in your eyes.
“Was this the one you bought?” You nod, and she looks back at it with her mouth hung low. “I… was wondering where this went. I thought I lost it.”
“You didn’t send it? At all?” Minji shakes her head. Wow, this is so great. “Why didn’t you?”
“I was supposed to give it to you before you left. I was hoping it would make you stay, but then I thought I was being too selfish and… just didn’t.” There’s clearly some regret still left in her face and the wind starts to blow. You hand her the jacket you put down next to your friends’ bags. “Thanks.” She says as she puts it on. You turn away to look at the sunset and gather your thoughts.
There’s no expression on your face for Minji to read, and for some reason she starts getting worried. “Y/N… I- It’s been three years, you don’t have to worry about-”
“Do you still?” You ask while looking away at the sea.
Minji stays quiet.
“Do you?”
She still keeps quiet. You turn to face her.
“Please tell me the truth, Minji.”
There’s something about how the sun makes your eyes glow and how you say her name that sabotages Minji at not giving in.
“Yes.” She speaks out with a sigh, “I do. I still do.”
You don’t know if your heart is beating faster or slower, but you feel it beat stronger. You turn away to get your bag, Minji just watches, her eyebrows slightly furrowed in distress and curiosity. The only thing she wants right now is to know how you feel.
You reach inside your bag for something, and Minji can’t really tell what it is when you take it out.
Finally, you extend the pale blue hair clip in your hand, “I have liked you since we were seven, Minji.” The girl looks at the clip then at you, her round eyes widened in disbelief.
“Are you serious?”
You hold your hand closer to her, urging her to take the gift before you sniff once again, “I saw this and thought of you. It looks like the one you had when we first met, that’s the day I started liking you. I haven’t stopped since.”
Minji takes the clip from your hands and feels herself tear up, says nothing, stares at it, then stares at you.
“We’ve known each other for thirteen years and I’ve loved you for thirteen of them.”
“I had no idea.”
“We had no idea.”
“We knew nothing about everything.” It’s now Minji’s turn to sniffle but still smiles as she wipes away the tears that threaten to fall from her eyes.
“How could you never say anything? Thirteen years, Y/N.” Minji complains while caressing the blue clip in her hands like it’s a precious stone. “Thirteen.”
“I got distracted with soccer.” Minji laughs with you and pushes you away by the shoulder. “Every goal I’ve ever made has been for you, though,”
“That’s so cheesy.” Minji giggles to herself as she pops the clip open and places it on her hair, it snaps shut with a ‘click’. “What do you think?” She says, turning to you. She tries to ignore your eyes and how sweetly they look at her.
“I think I love you more than I love apple juice.”
That’s the last thing you say before Minji smiles and gets shy, she looks away but her hand searches for yours and you help her by placing yours over hers. She fights back by taking it back and placing hers on top of yours. It makes you laugh.
The sound of your laugh takes her attention and now she stares directly at you, a smile on her own face. Her cheeks now take a reddish color, and her eyes shine like the reflection of the sunlight on the water. It feels like a deja vu.
You think you could stare at Minji’s face all day and not complain. You think maybe she thinks so too with how intensely she’s looking at you.
You raise your eyebrow when her eyes trail down from your eyes to your lips, and she seems to notice when your lips form a smirk. “What?” She giggles at herself, her already red cheeks turn an even darker shade.
“I saw that.”
“Weren’t we about to?”
“So straightforward, You should’ve been like that when sending that letter.”
“Oh my god, shut up.”
Is the last thing she says before she leans forward, she hesitates a little bit and her eyes go from your lips to your eyes, a shine of expectancy as if asking for permission, even when she already has it.
She’s about to close the gap when the both of you hear a chorus of gasps from the sea. It takes your attention. Hanni, Gyuvin and Yoona are all pushing each other giggling and gasping, hands on their mouths. You hear a faint “It’s finally happening.”, You can’t tell who it’s from though.
Minji is visibly annoyed, yells “Look away!” and it bounces in the waves. It’s actually insane how dumb she looks, red cheeks, furrowed eyebrows, pouty, perfect lips. It takes you everything to control yourself and even then you still can’t help grabbing her face gently and turning it towards you to finally, once and for all, kiss her.
You don’t really care if your friends actually turned away or not, because you can’t really tell with how glorious it feels to kiss Minji. It almost feels holy. You feel like you died and went to heaven in five minutes.
It’s a new feeling, a new experience, and it feels so familiar at the same time. Like flowing with the waves, like dancing with the wind, like drowning in apple juice, drowning in love.
Your lips dance like that for a while. At one point Minji’s hand goes up to your face and it’s such a warm feeling it makes you smile into the kiss. You start running out of breath and you don’t even notice. You could die happily if it meant dying with Minji’s lips on yours.
But then your stupid survival instincts kick in and it’s such a shame you have to pull away.
Both of your breaths are heavy and you burst out in laughter at the same time when your eyes meet. When your laughs die down your eyes fall on the pale blue clip that adorned Minji’s head. “You look so cute.”
“Says you.”
And then you hear cheering from the beach again. “Finally!” Hanni yells. You watch in astonishment, “Did she know?” You ask Minji while the both of you watch the three of your friends jump up and down in the water.
“I have no idea. I didn’t tell her. She might’ve noticed.” The cogs start to turn in your brains.
“They all did.” You and Minji say at the same time, then laugh at the same time. What a friendship of thirteen years does to you. And when you see Gyuvin and Hanni get up from the water and get closer to you, you realize you’re about to be ambushed.
“Oh, hell no.” You mumble right before you stand up and grab your bag. Minji just looks at you confused, “Come on, get up. They’re wet.” But Minji doesn’t seem to cooperate.
“Dude!” You grab her hand and pull her up as you run away as far as possible from your friends. You don’t even realize where you’re going, but laughing with Minji while running on the sand at sunset feels heavenly.
You look back and Minji struggles to keep up. Gyuvin and Hanni don’t look anywhere close and they probably decided to just let the both of you go, so you stop running.”
“We…” Minji rests her hands on her knees as she catches her breath, “We didn’t have to run that much. I’m not the soccer player here.”
You send her an apologetic smile, “Sorry…” 
Minji now can stand up and breathe stably. She looks back and there’s no one behind. “So, where do we go now?”
“Home. You need to get changed or else you’re gonna get sick.” You walk towards her to touch her shirt, “It’s still damp.”
“Isn’t your house nearby?” She asks, “I live further away, and it’ll be night by the time we get to my house.”
You squint your eyes at her, “My clothes won’t fit on you, they barely fit on me.” You flex your bicep and the sleeve gets so tight it’s going to cut your blood flow if you keep it like that. “And I haven’t seen your mom yet.”
“And I want to have dinner with your parents.” She confesses. “My first official meeting with them as your girlfriend.” You never actually established that but it’s not like you’re going to refuse the offer.
“You’re actually so annoying, bro.”
“Says you, bro.”
“I’m your girlfriend, bro.”
“No shit, bro.” Minji holds her hand out for you to take it, and you gladly do. You start walking in silence for a little bit.
“Also, my mom won’t let us make out at my house.”
“Okay, that’s enough, bro.” You take your hand back and walk faster to get away from Minji. She immediately sprints to catch up and stick to you.
“I was kidding!” She tries to grab your hand but you refuse it and take it back. “Hey! Hold my hand!”
You look at her and wouldn’t you know, she’s making puppy eyes at you. It makes you give in, it never fails. “You’re so sticky.”
“You wanna know something?” She says as you start walking together again.
“What?”
“When you kissed me it tasted like apple juice.”
end.
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🗒️ probably one of my favorite things i've written i giggled a lot and had fun writing this.. there's probably lots of mistakes here and there but i beg u pls ignore it bc im dizzy i can't look at words anymore. Minecraft coming soon! love u guys 🫂
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enha-doodles · 6 months ago
Note
Heyya I love your works 💗💗 and I was wondering if u u could do Slytherin boys reacting to the reader being a muggleborn 🥹
Classic yk🕺🏻🕺🏻
SLYTHERIN GUY'S REACTION TO YOU BEING A MUGGLEBORN | ✧⁺。
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Pairing : (Mattheo , Tom , Theodore , Lorenzo , Draco) x muggleborn!reader
Note : tysm bestie 🤪🤪✨ also that is such a classic request !!!
Warnings : mentions of fighting , toxicness in Tom's (I mean?)
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MATTHEO RIDDLE
Yes , he's got this thing against Muggle-borns, but if it's you, he's willing to put on his big boy pants and overlook it. But don't you dare insult his girl's blood status, or else you'll witness a show even Voldemort himself would be proud of! Picture it: a bunch of Slytherin wannabes start spouting nonsense about you not being worthy of Mattheo because he's the Dark Lord's spawn, and well you're just a stupid mudblood.
That sets Mattheo off like a firecracker! He goes all Hulk mode, smashing and bashing until they're all groveling at his feet. "Stay in your fucking place, you piece of shit, or else you won't live to tell the tale of Voldemort's son representing the Dark Lord himself!" He's a total hotie in fight mode btw
TOM RIDDLE
Now, Tom's got issues. He's got this whole orphanage baggage weighing him down, but deep down, he's just a lovesick puppy because he never received any. Sure, he hates the whole blood status talk, but he loves you more than he hates it. And merlin, does he have a way of showing it! He'll dominate and control like it's his daily job, but common, it's all out of love, right? And if anyone dares to even look at you funny, bam! It's going to be a hex city, and guess whose the population ? them.
But if you try to disobey or disrespect him he won't hesitate to return to his true self , he'd grab your chin harshly and menacingly whisper, "You're just a filthy mudblood, know your place. Here, God isn't your lord. I am."
THEODORE NOTT
hmm, Theodore, the rebel with a cause. He's not like his father , nothing like him at all and he constantly wants to prove it , this is just one of those things that help him show you and others that he's different.He couldn't care less about blood status drama. Nope, if he loves you, he loves ALL of you, flaws and all.
He'd threaten everyone around that you're his girl and if anyone says anything to you or if they try to hurt you then they'd be found dead before they can say sorry . "Get this in your stupid ass head, you dick - you mess with her, you mess with me and remember I don't pull bunnies out of a hat ."
LORENZO BERKSHIRE
Lorenzo's like that curious cat who just can't resist poking his nose into everything. Muggle stuff? Fascinating! Like Theodore he wouldn't mind . He'd actually ask more about how it's there and all the technology intrigues him but he'd still be on about how magic is better . He would support you all the time and try to indulge in stuff to make you feel better .
Would threaten his friends to be mindful of their words around you because you're very dear to him and he wouldn't mind a punch to two if it means you're protected "Hey hey hey , watch it or I won't!"
DRACO MALFOY
Draco, return of the drama queen of Slytherin lmao . He'll start off all high and mighty, spouting hurtful things left, right, and center. But when reality hits and you stop talking to him , he realizes he's messed up, cue the banging at your door , sputtering out apologies and the gifts galore - rich boy lowkey buying his way out but you can't complain because he's got all your favourite stuff .
Draco would kinda joke to lighten the mood "God, I love you, but my father cannot hear about this." Classic Draco, am I right?
。    ✧    ⁺     。
TAGLIST : @sugarcandydoll @helendeath
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sanakiras · 8 months ago
Text
HEAVEN
PAIRING — jeon wonwoo x fem!reader
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WORD COUNT — 3.4k
SYNOPSIS — wonwoo has a reputation for being distant, quiet and a bit mysterious. once you get to know him better, though, you come to find the sweet, shy boy underneath the surface.
TAGS — established relationship, explicit sexual content, sub-ish virgin!wonwoo, lowkey corruption kink, i have a sickening crush on this man can you tell, not proofread :)
♪ — the nbhd - heaven,, hank lotion - k-sEx
NOTE — gam3 bo1 wonwoo and ep 1 nana tour wonwoo footage has been making me act UP and i think he’s just so cute <3 screw the hard dom wonu agenda i like to see my men a lil WEAK ‼️😁
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like most people, you felt rather intimidated when you met jeon wonwoo for the first time.
stoic, quiet, intelligent. the strong and silent type. that was the clear image you had of him. and to top it all off, he had the criminally good looks too. a relatively rare kind of man to come across, in your opinion.
though you began to see him in a different light after bonding with him over your shared love for video games. since then, you’ve discovered he can actually be quite talkative, cracking silly puns or laughing at the corniest dad jokes. he’s well-spoken and is actually very open about his feelings, which you found refreshing.
and while developing a friendship with him, you realized how much of a big softie he actually is, which paints quite the contrast compared to his cold and quiet persona he unintentionally seems to put up towards those outside his circle of close friends and family.
it reminds you of the day he asked you out — that sweet, shy smile on his face with rosy cheeks, all flustered and stuttering that you really don’t have to say yes if you don’t feel like it and he’ll push it all to the side like nothing happened if that’s what you’d prefer—
you very easily interrupted him by agreeing to go on a date with him. you’d never seen him smile wider.
wonwoo is cute when he smiles.
and despite his nervousness in the beginning, he still made efforts to be as talkative as he could and show you his interest in you, which you found very sweet. you had a great time with him, and you noticed rather quickly how comfortable you felt around him.
a couple dates later, he asked you if you wanted to be his girlfriend, and you certainly didn’t refuse him.
he’s also turned out to be a gentleman in his own way — subtly saying he could do certain things for you to make your life easier in that monotone voice of his, eyes following you around whenever he’s with you.
the first time he slept over at your place was rather recently after you two made it official. it wasn’t planned, since he was supposed to go back to his place after your date, but due to issues with public transport, you offered him to stay with you instead.
with his face and chest bare, he got into bed next to you. of course you’d imagined what he looked like underneath his big hoodies, but actually having him by your side like this was different.
and wonwoo was putting every bit of effort into playing it cool, even though he was freaking out to be sleeping next to his first girlfriend, forcing himself to look away from your tank top that left very little to the imagination.
yet ironically, it was all he could fantasize about before drifting to sleep.
normally, you’d only let a guy into your bed to do things other than sleeping once you’ve been dating for quite a while. it’s never been something you like to initiate quickly — but wonwoo’s been making you question it. severely.
because he looks so hot when he’s out on the field with his football team, when he’s working out, when he’s gaming on his pc, even when he just fucking smiles at you. the worst thing of it all might be that he doesn’t even seem the slightest bit aware of how attractive he is, nor what effect it has on you.
maybe you should really just tell him you want to jump him like a tree.
but you don’t want to rush him. for all you know, he doesn’t feel like doing that at all with you yet, and for some reason you just didn’t know when or how to ask him about it. later, you thought to yourself.
though you will say you’ve been pushing his buttons a little over the course of time. ever since that night, you’ve subtly been putting yourself on display for him. low-cut shirts and dresses so he can take a peek at your cleavage, accidentally exposing a bit of the fabric of your lingerie, sitting in his lap and rubbing up on him — unintentionally, of course.
it took every ounce of self-control in your body not to smirk when you felt him stiffen up underneath you.
the progress of your relationship has been nothing but positive, really. but you’re aching for him to just touch you at this point.
the day you hit your breaking point isn’t much later. you were trying on some newly bought dresses in front of him, one more revealing than the other — sundresses always work magic on men for whatever reason — and you turned around to find him pathetically trying to hide his hard-on while seated on your bed.
and you just couldn’t find it in you to wait any longer.
so that’s how you ended up sitting in his lap, hands on the back of his neck as you’re grinding against him. his glasses are sitting lop-sided on his nose, black locks messy from your fingers threading through them, lips swollen from your kisses.
the moment he feels your fingers tugging at his hoodie, he feels the need to clear up what he’s been meaning to tell you for a while now.
“i need to tell you something. i’ve—” he cuts himself off when he accidentally lets out a whimper, “i’ve never had sex with anyone.”
he’s still heavily breathing, looking at you in anticipation, and you just can’t escape the buzzing feeling you get from the idea of taking his virginity.
“do you want to?” you ask him, and how could he say no when you’re holding his face like this, looking at him like you’re willing to give him the ride of his life?
“yeah, yeah, i just—i usually don’t last very long,” he sheepishly admits, then internally asking himself why the fuck he would say that, “sorry, i’m nervous.”
but you think it’s endearing. “i don’t mind. we can always go for a second round, right?”
all he can do is nod his head in agreement. “i, i um—i’m not sure what to do next. i’m sorry, this is embarrassing.”
“it’s not, really. it’s not some big performance you need to put up, it’s something fun and exciting and intimate. you can go ahead and relax, and tell me if you like or don’t like what i’m doing.” you reassure him so patiently, which puts him at ease.
jesus — if anything, he’s already a whimpering, stuttering mess and you��re hardly even touching him.
so you move your hand down into his boxers, fingers wrapping around him to test the waters. he gasps in surprise once he feels you touching him, heat rushing to his cheeks.
“just let me take care of you, ‘kay? we can stop anytime.” you tell him, and he trusts you enough to let you go on.
you press another kiss to his lips before moving backwards, fingers taking a hold of the waistband of both his sweatpants and boxers.
the cold on his skin makes him shiver, but he’s hardly given the time to feel exposed in front of you when you’ve already got your hands on him, pleasantly surprised by his size.
“you’re so big, wonu.” you tell him in a sweet voice, feeling like you’re about to drool at the sight of him.
“didn’t think i was big.” he mumbles more to himself than to you, staring at the ceiling as he tries to steady his breathing.
you chuckle a little as you watch him. “you are. gonna have to work for it to make you fit into me.” the words make his eyes widen, images of you getting fucked by him flashing through his mind.
“fuck, really?”
“mhm. but you’ll do that for me, won’t you?”
wonwoo is absolutely crumbling underneath you here. the effect that your mere words have on him should be studied, because shit, he’s never felt this hot before. why is it so hot in here? is he sweating already? “yeah, i’ll—i’ll do anything you want me to.”
he’s such a sweetheart that it makes you want to ruin him.
for the sake of both his and your own pleasure, you decide not to tease any longer and touch his cock with your lips. he lets out a moan of surprise, the feeling being unfamiliar to him, but holy shit — this has got to be what heaven feels like.
his chest heaves as he tries to control his breathing once more, focusing on keeping his breathing by his stomach. your tongue darts out to lick his cock, and he whimpers, which makes you triumphantly smile a little.
you’re genuinely curious to see how long he can last, so you catch him by surprise by taking him into your mouth as far as possible, and his hand subconscously flies to the back of your head, and he doesn’t know whether he wants to push your head down or pull it back. he releases a choked moan, spurring you on to keep him lodged in your throat despite his efforts to pull you off him.
“fuck—please don’t make me cum already, baby, please—” he begs, loving the feeling of your mouth on him like that — he just doesn’t want to hit his peak that fast.
unfortunately for him, you do.
with your mouth currently no longer on him, you gently jerk him off instead, his hips automatically bucking into your grip. “what if i want you to?”
“you’ve barely—barely touched me. ‘s embarrassing.” he chokes out. the heat is still rushing to his cheeks. his hands are shaking.
of course he’s nervous. you’re his first time, his first girlfriend, it’s all new to him. he’s clearly afraid you might be turned off by him being all flustered like this.
so you make it your mission to show him it’s very much the opposite.
discarding your dress, you’re left in your tank top and underwear, nipples poking through the thin, white fabric. you move to tilt his face up with your glossy, acrylic nail, gently holding his chin, your face mere inches away from his.
“do you have any idea how wet i am? just from seeing you like this?” you ask, pulling his one hand down so he can feel the dampness of your panties. “bet you could slip right in.”
a broken whimper slips out of his mouth when he feels it. he didn’t know you were this turned on.
you push his head and upper body back against the pillows, making him lie down fully, and you’re just so eager to suck the life out of him.
the feeling of your warm mouth and tongue around him makes him experience a sensation he didn’t think was possible. christ, this must be what heaven feels like.
“oh my god—you’re so fucking good.” he’s arching his back with his eyes tightly shut from the pleasure you’re giving him. it’s only when you take him as far in your throat as possible that the first guttural groan is ripped from the depths of his chest. it’s a low, sexy sound that makes you clench around nothing.
he’s burning hot under you, causing his glasses to fog up a little. he carelessly throws the pair onto his nightstand, the grip on the back of your head becoming harsher and less gentle than before, because he’s that fucking close now.
it’s cute seeing wonwoo not knowing what to do with himself. keeping your mouth on his cock, gripping the sheets, throwing his head back before he casts his eyes back down to watch you suck him off — it’s like he’s being overstimulated in the best way possible.
it’s enough for you to sense he’s close, which makes you take your mouth off him to jerk him off instead, all so you can watch him chase his release. “that’s it, wonu, give it to me.”
there’s a sudden shiver that runs from his back and core all the way down to his toes. he tenses up, unintentionally grabbing your wrist to stop your movements as he trembles and his body gives in to his orgasm.
once he’s coming down from his high, he looks at you like you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to him.
“that was… holy shit.” he laughs a little to himself, eliciting a chuckle from you.
“i’m that good, huh?”
“yeah.”
“wanna keep going?”
“mhm.”
“okay. take off your shirt.”
wonwoo blinks for a moment. he practically forgot he was still wearing one, so he sits up and gets rid of the black shirt, throwing it beside your bed, now completely bare before you.
if he’s being honest, you did ease his nerves by letting him have his first orgasm already. the strange sense of shame he previously felt has disappeared into the air, with only nervous excitement left.
he feels good.
especially when he watches you move to sit on your knees on the bed, removing the tank top and slipping out of your underwear.
his eyes are glued to your naked body, hardly able to look away — that is, until you sit down in his lap, your dripping heat touching his hardening dick, making him twitch under you.
“where do you keep your condoms?”
the question forces him out of his constant staring at your body. “uh—nightstand.” he mutters, taking the initiative to reach and get it himself.
thankfully, he manages to get it on himself quickly. you urge him to lie back down again while you position yourself above him, shamelessly staring at his strong chest and broad shoulders.
his mouth is agape when you sink down on him, and fuck, he’s in so deep.
the stretch burns, especially because you didn’t get yourself ready, but you’re so dripping wet to the point you don’t care — you need him in you.
wonwoo notices you struggle despite your arousal. “you don’t have to take me all the way if it hurts.”
you hum, a half-smirk creeping onto your face. “but it hurts so good. so i will.”
once he’s sheathed fully inside you, he’s subconsciously holding his breath. the anticipation for you to move is killing him. the sensitivity of his dick makes him whimper, his lashes fluttering as his teeth sink into his lower lip in a failed attempt to hold it together.
you decide to tease him a little by clenching down on him. his hands fly to your hips, gripping the skin harder than intended from the sudden feeling, his breathing becoming erratic again. “hah—don’t do that, please, i don’t wanna cum yet baby—please.”
“why? you close?” you ask him with an innocent face, knowing damn well what you’re doing to him.
“yeah. need you so bad.” he answers truthfully, his ego and pride nowhere to be found anymore. whether he sounds pathetic or not, he doesn’t give a shit. all he knows is that you’re sitting on top of him and he needs you to make him feel what he’s been desperate to feel for so damn long.
so you tilt your head. “‘s okay, wonu. i’ll give it to you.”
he can hardly even make out a response before you lift your hips and proceed to sink back down on him, your hands on his chest. a filthy moan rolls past his lips — you think it’s the best sound you’ve ever heard in your damn life.
then you begin to roll your hips, and he sucks through his teeth from the feeling, a mix of overstimulation and pleasure rushing through him. once you let out your first dragged-out moan, his fingers twitch for a moment, digging deeper into your skin.
“have you thought about this? fucking me?”
despite the position he’s in right now, he still feels his face heat up when you ask him dirty things like that, even more so when he answers them.
“yeah, i did.”
“when? tell me. i wanna hear it.” you tell him, and when you’re so gorgeously riding him like this, how could he not oblige?
wonwoo swallows, stuttering as he focuses on recalling the memories while admiring you and the feeling you’re letting him experience. “when i saw you wearing that short skirt on our second date, and—and that time you came to watch me at the football game. couple of my teammates were drooling over you. so was i.”
his words turn you on, because you doubted whether you were sensing actual jealousy from him that night, and this confirms it.
“were you?” you ask, running your nails down his stomach. “what’d you do about it?”
he bites his lip. “i’ll sound like a pervert if i answer that.”
teasing him again, you push yourself down on him almost harshly, relishing in the way he gasps under you. wonwoo is wonderfully responsive in bed, and you’re having a fucking field trip with it.
“yeah? try me.”
“i touched myself after getting home, and i... thought about you. in that skirt.”
“i’ll wear it for you next time.” you smile, watching him close his eyes in pleasure when you leave your marks on his chest, putting a few hickeys on his neck and collarbone on purpose. “i touched myself thinking of you, too.”
that makes him twitch inside you, which is exactly what you wanted.
his hands dip to the curve of your ass, following your movement. “really?”
“mhm. i thought you looked so sexy in your football attire. you were wearing that tight compression shirt that you always wear when you go to the gym too — drove me nuts, wonu.” you confess, which seems to work as a brief shot of adrenaline for him.
he moves to sit up, bringing your bodies closer together by looping his arms around your waist, the slight change in position making you moan.
the drag of his cock inside you is slowly making you go insane. your face is hot and you’re dripping wet for him, sucking him in to the point you feel like you need to claw at the walls.
“god, feels so good.” he mutters, his mouth finding your breasts before he begins to suck on the skin like a man starved.
once he notices you’re both getting closer, but you’re getting tired from your position on top, he takes a breath and flips you over, now hovering above you.
burying his face in the crook of your neck, he holds onto your body and fucks you. his thrusts are harder than he intends them to, the control over his body lost in his relentless drive to make you both feel good.
he’s panting hard, doing everything in his power to make you cum first this time while indulging in his own pleasure as well. “am i doing good for my first time? does it feel good?”
god, you can only half-catch the words with the way he’s fucking you. it’s almost funny — such a sweetheart he is, asking you if he’s doing well while simultaneously fucking you into oblivion.
“you’re so good, wonu. so good—‘m so close.” you cry out, manicured nails digging into his back, making him groan.
“wanna feel you cum around me so bad.” the words almost sound like a plea, like he’s begging you for it.
then he kisses your neck, and he hits the perfect spot inside you over and over, and it’s enough to make you clench so hard around him that he can’t hold it any longer. your orgasm makes your legs shake, and he fucks you right through it, making you wonder why the hell it took the universe so long to let him into your life.
he moans and whines and shakes when he hits his climax, twitching inside you, filling up the condom. with heavy breaths, he lets his body rest on top of you, his head by your collarbone, a comfortable silence emerging as your heartbeats slow and breathing steadies.
surprisingly, it’s him who speaks up first.
“i’m gonna need a while for my legs to start working again.” he chuckles breathily, covering his face a little when he notices you poking fun at him.
“aw, baby, did i drain you that much?”
“i genuinely can’t even feel my limbs.”
you laugh at him, pressing a kiss to his cheek, and he smiles so sweetly — as if he didn’t just fuck the living daylights out of you. “wanna go again?”
he blushes a bit, tilting his head as if he has to think about it, before sheepishly giving you his answer.
“... yeah.”
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thanks for reading! let me know if u liked it x
® SANAKIRAS — do not repost, remake or copy my work in any way whatsoever. translations are not allowed.
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leona-hawthorne · 1 month ago
Text
KINKTOBER #7– JUST PHYSIOLOGICAL RESPONSE / lorenzo berkshire
october 22nd no smut in this part
part one part two
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lorenzo berkshire x fem reader
summary: it wasn’t until now, sitting across from lorenzo berkshire behind the cold walls of azkaban, that you realized the seriousness of your line of work.
warnings: criminal psychologist!reader, dark!lorenzo, he is lowkey an actual psychopath in this so tread carefully when reading :D, the smut will be in part two
words: 3.9k
a/n: like i’ve said before, these are not typical kinktober fics—they include plot so yeah they’re quite long, don’t hate me lol. this one is a favorite of mine! part 2 will be out soon!
navigation kinktober masterlist
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You had never imagined you would sit in a place like this, surrounded by stone walls that absorbed sound and light alike, a reminder of the darkness beneath the surface. The air was thick with secrets and despair, each breath heavy with the history of those who came before you. Here, in the heart of Azkaban, the ghosts of the past whispered their regrets, their voices mingling with the clinking of metal bars.
As you prepared for the interview, the gravity of your role pressed against your chest like a leaden shroud. Each tick of the clock echoed like a metronome, marking time until you confronted one of the wizarding world’s most notorious figures. Your choice to seek understanding among chaos felt both a privilege and a burden. You had devoted years to studying the complexities of the human mind, yet sitting alone in that sterile room, you couldn’t help but wonder if you were truly equipped for what lay ahead.
The darkness of his deeds stretched far and wide, and the weight of his legacy hung over you like a storm cloud, threatening to unleash emotions you had spent years learning to contain. You had read the reports, the testimonies, the chilling accounts that left a mark on the page, but nothing could prepare you for the reality of sitting across from a man whose choices had altered countless lives. Doubts crept in, whispering questions you had pushed aside: Was this the right path? Could you unearth the truths hidden beneath layers of calculated cruelty?
As the door creaked open, the air shifted, and you steeled yourself for the confrontation. In that moment, you realized the fragility of your conviction, the thin line you walked between empathy and revulsion, a dance with shadows that could consume you whole if you let them.
With a slow, painful exhale, you watched as two guards brought your subject in, harshly holding him by the arms like they were disgusted to touch him. Your breath, measured and controlled, still felt heavy, weighted by the reputation of the man across from you. A minute later, the guards were gone, leaving you alone with him.
Lorenzo Berkshire—infamous, calculating, and entirely too comfortable in the chains binding his wrists.
He watched you with amused detachment, as if this interrogation were nothing more than a mild inconvenience. His eyes, dark and unrelenting, never left your face, reading you like a book you hadn’t realized you’d written.
You cleared your throat, though the sound seemed small in the silence. “Mr. Berkshire,” you began, your voice more controlled than you felt, “It’s nice to finally meet. I’m here to understand and help you.”
A flicker of amusement passed over his features, and then he leaned back in his chair, deceptively relaxed despite the magical restraints. The smirk at the corners of his mouth made your skin prickle, like a warning signal your body recognized before your mind caught up. “Help me?” he echoed, his voice low, rich, almost playful. “How very… noble of you.”
You pressed forward, refusing to let his arrogance throw you off balance. But it was impossible not to feel the tension, thick and charged. Each word from his lips felt like a dare, like he was waiting for you to crack under his presence. But you were determined not to let him win, not to give him the satisfaction.
His gaze locked with yours, and for a split second, it felt like the entire room disappeared—the walls, the chains, everything. Just his eyes on you, unflinching, curious. Something flickered inside you, uncomfortable and unwanted. You pushed it down, forcing focus.
“This is an opportunity for reflection,” you continued, a little more forceful, needing to regain control. “A chance for rehabilitation.”
He laughed, melodic in a way that didn’t belong in a place as desolate as this. The sound curled around you, drawing you in before you even realized it. “Rehabilitation,” he repeated, tasting the word as if it were foreign. “You think I need fixing, Doctor?”
His smile widened, and you could feel the heat rising in your chest, spreading to your neck. The intensity of his gaze crawled over your skin, peeling back layers, searching for the pieces of you he could exploit. The files on him hadn’t prepared you for this. They were clinical, cold, facts and figures that tried to capture his cruelty. But there was no preparing for the feeling of being in the same room as him, for the way he twisted words into something far more dangerous than you anticipated.
You tightened your grip on the folder, trying to ground yourself. “Your actions brought you here,” you said, though your voice wavered. “You’re here because of the choices you’ve made, Mr. Berkshire. This is an opportunity to explore why.”
His smile deepened, dark amusement dancing in his eyes. “Choices,” he drawled, leaning forward, chains clinking softly. “I’ve made a great many choices, love, but none I regret.”
You bristled at the way he threw the word ‘love’ at you, casual and intimate all at once, like he was playing a game you weren’t even sure you knew the rules to. You could feel the shift in the air, the way the space between you suddenly felt too small, too intimate for a setting like this. His legs stretched out beneath the table, and though the room was vast and hollow, it felt as though he was far too close.
“It’s Dr. Y/L/N,” you corrected, needing distance. But he only smiled wider, his eyes never breaking from yours, as if he could see through your barriers.
“Dr. Y/L/N,” he repeated, and the way your name rolled off his tongue sent a strange thrill through you, something you despised yourself for feeling. You straightened, willing your body to remain rigid, professional, in control. But you could feel his eyes, pulling at the threads of your restraint. “Now that’s a name I could get used to. Pretty. Suits you.”
What the fuck?
A strange heat pooled in your stomach, twisting unease and the thrill of his presence. It wasn’t fear—not quite. It was something more insidious, far more dangerous because it felt like an invitation. You could sense it in his gaze, the way he tilted his head, considering you. He wasn’t just interested in the interrogation; he was interested in you. And that thought, more than anything, sent your pulse racing.
“We’re not here to discuss my name,” you stated, though your voice came out breathless. You forced yourself to look back at the file, the black-and-white details of his crimes staring up at you, but they like a flimsy shield against his intensity.
“Shame,” he murmured, voice dragging over your senses. “I’d much rather talk about you.”
You snapped your gaze back to him, feeling the frustration flare beneath your skin, mingling with the strange pull of his words. “That’s not why I’m here,” you said, firmer this time, trying to anchor yourself in the facts, in the reason for your presence in this cursed room. But even as you spoke, you could feel him pulling you into his rhythm, like a song you couldn’t quite resist dancing to.
His gaze slid over you, slow and deliberate, as though he were cataloging every reaction, every slight movement of your body. You wondered if he could hear the way your heart hammered against your ribs, could sense the way your breath quickened despite your attempts to remain unaffected. “Are you sure?” he asked, voice like silk. “Because I’m finding this little game of ours rather entertaining.”
Your throat tightened as his words settled over you, heavy and intoxicating. There was a flicker in his eyes—something raw, something that spoke to the danger lurking beneath the surface. It twisted inside you, something dark and unnameable, something that frightened you because of how close it came to desire.
You took a steadying breath, trying to clear your mind. “This isn’t a game,” you said, though the words felt hollow, meant more for you than for him.
“Isn’t it?” he asked, leaning forward, his presence pressing against you. His lips curved into a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “I think you’re enjoying this more than you’d like to admit.”
A shiver raced down your spine, but you refused to let it show. Instead, you leaned back, forcing the space between you to widen even though it felt like the room was closing in. “I’m here to discuss your actions, Lorenzo. This conversation is about you, not me.”
For a moment, his smile faltered, something cold flashing across his expression. But it vanished, replaced by that same unsettling charm. “Oh, but Doctor,” he purred, voice dripping with dangerous allure. “That’s no fun.”
Lorenzo’s grin sharpened, something almost wicked in the way his eyes darkened, glinting with an edge that made the room feel smaller, more suffocating. He leaned forward, the chains clinking softly against his wrists, though the sound carried a weight heavier than the steel. His gaze flicked over your face—intent, invasive, peeling back the thin layers of control you’d carefully crafted.
“I’ll tell you a little secret.” His voice, low and deliberate, slid across the space between you like a blade, smooth but with a promise of violence beneath it. His eyes bore into yours, and despite the coldness of Azkaban’s walls, a heat twisted in your chest. You swallowed against it, but it stayed lodged in your throat like a forbidden truth.
You kept your expression neutral, fighting the urge to shift in your seat, to break the tension. But Lorenzo could sense it—your discomfort, your curiosity, the tiny betrayals of your body. He leaned back slightly, as if to give you space, but it only made his presence more commanding. There was nowhere to hide.
“Want to know what makes me feel alive?” His voice dropped, curling around the words like he was letting you in on a dark, personal joke. He tilted his head, his eyes tracing a slow path over you, from the top of your head to where your hands rested, clenched slightly, on the table. “It’s taking control,” he purred, letting the word linger, heavy with implication.
“Control?” you repeated, voice steady, though it felt like you were speaking through cotton. “You’re bound in chains, Lorenzo. Not exactly in a position of power.”
That smile of his deepened, his amusement dark and tangible. He wasn’t the type to be provoked, not by something as obvious as his physical limitations. No, his control didn’t come from strength, from force—it came from something far more insidious. And he was using it now, in the way his gaze roamed over you, pulling at your defenses, testing just how far he could push.
“You think these chains mean anything?” His eyes sparkled with dark glee. “I take what I want. Always have, always will.” His voice softened, a dangerous purr. “And you know what’s better than control? Watching the happiness drain out of people like you. Girls like you…”
Your pulse spiked, a flash of heat prickling over your skin. He’d said it so casually, like it was nothing, but it hit you hard. The calm mask you wore cracked, just for a moment, before you could steady yourself again. You clenched your jaw, refusing to let him see the effect his words had on you. But Lorenzo noticed. He always noticed.
He shrugged, his gaze never leaving yours. “It’s the way it lights me up, you know? Makes me feel alive,” he said, his voice laced with an almost boyish nonchalance, as though the things he did, the lives he ruined, were merely a hobby. “And you, Dr. Y/L/N… you’re fascinating.” His gaze flickered down to the rapid flutter at your throat, as if he could hear your heartbeat from across the table.
You forced your spine to straighten, though the effort felt trivial. “It doesn’t matter what makes me feel alive,” you said, careful to keep your tone neutral, measured. “This isn’t about me.”
Lorenzo smiled—a slow, predatory grin that spread across his face with a kind of lazy satisfaction. “Oh, love,” he murmured, his voice dripping with dark amusement. “Right now, everything is about you.”
Your breath hitched before you could stop it, and his smile widened, like he’d caught you in a lie. His eyes followed the subtle movement of your throat, watching the pulse point there with unnerving focus. You could almost feel the weight of his gaze on your skin, like it pressed against the very place where your heartbeat betrayed you.
“Well, look at that,” he mumbled amusedly.
You forced yourself to sit back, feigning a calm you didn’t feel. “It’s just a physiological response,” you said, the words tight. You could feel your cheeks flush slightly, but you refused to look away from him, refused to let him have that power over you.
Lorenzo chuckled softly, leaning back as well, though his eyes never left yours. “Ah, yes, always so clinical, Doctor.” He tilted his head, considering you with a dark glimmer in his eyes, like he was enjoying this far more than he should. “But your body doesn’t lie, does it?”
Your breath caught again, a flash of frustration mingling with the heat spreading through you. No. You had to maintain control. “We need to talk about your notebook,” you said, voice firm.
For a moment, the playful glint in his eyes dimmed, replaced by something colder, something far more dangerous. His smile didn’t fade, but it sharpened, hardening into something unfeeling. “Always back to business, aren’t you?” he said, the warmth in his voice gone, replaced by a cold edge. He leaned back further, the chains on his wrists rattling softly as he shifted in his chair. “Very well, ask your questions.”
You swallowed, feeling the shift in the air between you. It was colder now, heavier, as if the playful façade had fallen away, revealing something darker beneath. You took a breath, willing yourself to remain steady. “Why did you keep a list of the women you targeted?”
His eyes darkened, his grin fading into something colder, almost predatory. “To remember them,” he said, his voice soft but chilling. “To remember every detail, every reaction.” His gaze flicked over you again, and this time it wasn’t playful or curious. It was calculating. “Because I like to keep my memories alive, just like I plan to keep this one.”
The room seemed to close in around you, the weight of his words pressing against your skin. You struggled to keep your voice even, to push through the unease settling over you. “But why target women?” you asked, your voice lower now, but steady.
Lorenzo’s lips curled into a smile again, but it was a different kind of smile—empty, devoid of any warmth. “Because women are fascinating,” he murmured, almost as if he were talking to himself. “They feel so deeply, so much warmer than men. The way they break… the way they fight before they shatter. It’s captivating.”
A chill slid down your spine, but you held his gaze, refusing to look away, even as your pulse raced beneath your skin.
For a moment, the silence between you was unbearable, stretching thick and heavy, the only sound the faint scrape of his chair as he shifted, eyes still locked on you with a dark, unblinking intensity. His gaze had become sharper, less playful, like he was peeling away layers you didn’t even realize you were wearing.
You forced yourself to remain steady, to focus on the role you were meant to play here. He was an inmate—a subject for analysis. He wasn’t someone who could get under your skin. He wasn’t allowed. But still, something about the deliberate cadence of his voice, the way he watched you so carefully, so… possessively—it twisted in your gut, a discomfort you couldn’t easily shake off.
“Captivating?” you finally said, your voice quiet, but not weak. You leaned in slightly. “Is that what you think this is? Some kind of… study?”
Lorenzo’s eyes gleamed, as if your attempt to turn the tables amused him more than it should have. He tilted his head, the chains clinking softly against the table as his fingers flexed. His smile softened, though it didn’t reach his eyes. “It’s exactly that,” he murmured. “People like you, you always think you’re the ones in control, don’t you? Coming into places like this, thinking you can untangle what’s inside the mind of a man like me.”
You didn’t flinch, but the way his voice curled around the word “control” made your pulse jump again. It was subtle, but he noticed. Of course he noticed. His gaze flickered briefly to the side of your neck, where the rhythm of your heartbeat betrayed you once more. His smile widened just a fraction, eyes gleaming with an unsettling delight.
“Physiological response,” he repeated, almost like a taunt. He leaned back in his chair, but the space between you felt even smaller than before, like his presence had grown larger, more oppressive. “You know, I don’t really care about the list,” he said, almost conversationally, as if the shift in subject meant nothing to him. “The names, the details… that’s for your records, not mine.”
You frowned slightly, taken aback by the ease with which he dismissed the topic. “So, it wasn’t important?”
Lorenzo’s gaze darkened, his smile fading once more into something colder. “I didn’t say that. It just wasn’t important in the way you think it is.” His eyes flicked to yours again, pinning you under their weight. “They were just names. Just faces. The real satisfaction comes after the fact.”
Your stomach tightened, the meaning of his words clear. You couldn’t help the way your breath caught slightly, though you hoped the flicker of fear didn’t show in your expression. He fed on reactions like that—thrived on them. “After the fact?” you repeated, trying to keep your voice even, though you could feel the edges fraying.
Lorenzo’s grin returned, sharper now, more predatory. “It’s not the act that matters,” he said, his voice soft, almost intimate. “It’s the memory of it. The way it lingers. That’s what I like to keep. The memory of how they looked when they finally understood…”
You swallowed hard, forcing yourself to stay present, forcing the cold, detached mask back over your face. “And what do you think you’re going to remember from this conversation?” you asked, pushing the words out before you could second-guess them. “Do you think you’ll walk away from here feeling satisfied? Like you’ve gained control?”
For the first time, Lorenzo’s smile faltered, just barely, a flicker of something unreadable flashing across his features. He seemed to be studying you again, his eyes scanning your face, your posture, the way your fingers had tightened slightly against the edge of the table.
When he finally spoke, his voice was lower, quieter. “That depends,” he murmured, “on how much you give me to remember.”
You leaned back slightly, breaking the eye contact for just a moment, just enough to gather yourself. The air between you felt thick, oppressive, as if the walls of the room had closed in even further, leaving you with nowhere to go.
“You’ll remember nothing,” you said firmly, meeting his gaze again, your voice steady despite the tension pulling at the edges of your composure. “Because I won’t give you anything.”
Lorenzo’s smile returned, slower this time. “We’ll see about that,” he said softly. His eyes gleamed, dark and predatory, as if he were already imagining the moment you would break.
But you wouldn’t. You couldn’t. You were here to analyze him, to understand him—not the other way around.
You shifted in your seat, the slight movement betraying the tension coiling tight in your muscles. He noticed, of course—his eyes never missed a thing. The faintest flicker of amusement passed over his features as you finally met his gaze again. There was no doubt in his mind that you were unraveling, that you were right on the edge of giving him what he wanted, even if you couldn’t quite name what that was.
But he was wrong.
You stood abruptly, the legs of the chair scraping harshly against the stone floor, the sound cutting through the thick tension like a knife. The movement felt final, decisive, and for the first time, you saw something shift in Lorenzo’s expression. His smirk faltered, just for a second, as if he hadn’t expected you to pull away so quickly, so completely.
He watched you rise, his gaze following your every move, but you refused to let it pin you down anymore. You were done with this—done with the game he was trying to play. Your heart still pounded in your chest, your nerves still thrummed with the aftershocks of his words, but you buried it all beneath a mask of cold professionalism. He wouldn’t see how much this had affected you. Not now. Not ever.
Without a word, you stepped toward the door, your movements steady. You could feel Lorenzo’s eyes boring into your back, that dark, predatory gaze following you even as you placed one hand on the cold metal handle. You hesitated, just for a moment, and in that brief pause, you heard him shift in his seat again, the soft clink of chains reminding you that, despite everything, he was still bound—still trapped.
“Leaving so soon?” His voice was low, almost mocking. He wasn’t in control anymore, not completely. You’d taken that from him the moment you stood up.
You didn’t turn around. “This session is over,” you said, your voice cold, professional, a stark contrast to the tangled mess of thoughts and emotions swirling beneath the surface.
Lorenzo chuckled softly, but it was a hollow sound. “Come now, love,” he murmured, the warmth from before gone, replaced by something sharper. “You’re not going to walk away without a proper goodbye, are you?”
“I’m not here for your games, Berkshire. You’ll get nothing from me.”
For a split second, there was silence. Then, the sound of chains clinking again as he shifted forward, the weight of his presence pressing closer despite the distance between you. “We both know that’s not true,” he said, his voice darker, quieter now. “You’ll be thinking about me long after you leave this room.”
You swallowed hard, your fingers tightening around the handle until your knuckles whitened. He wasn’t wrong—not completely. He was already under your skin. But you wouldn’t let him know that.
Without another word, you pushed open the door. The cold draft from the hallway rushed in, hitting you like a breath of fresh air, a reminder that there was a world beyond this room—a world where that man’s hold on you didn’t exist.
You stepped through the threshold, the echo of your footsteps filling the narrow corridor as you moved further and further.
As the heavy door swung shut behind you with a loud, metallic clang, sealing him away in that cold, dark room, you felt a strange sense of relief. You’d left him there—alone, chained, and powerless, despite everything he’d tried to make you feel.
He was the one locked up. Not you.
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kinktober taglist: @mattheoriddles-slutt @theeslutintheroom @esmerai-artemis @gigival @cloudyyydayzzz @sn000py @abeoavita @yesiamthatwierd @shaquilles-0atmeal @roseofsharron438 @iouinotes @romantasyreader28 @c3liaaaaa @sleepiibunniiii @chemtrailsoverhogwarts @daenerystorgaryen @catching-fire-in-the-wind @emma-grace0 @tori-303 @ilovehpb0ys
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delusional-day-dreamer · 4 months ago
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Last Friday Night - n.m
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‣ nika muhl x reader!
‣ paige version of this fic
‣ wc: 1953; sorry this is so short and lowkey not that good?
‣‣ synopsis: you and nika have kept your relationship on the dl for a while now, but what happens when your inebriated selves slip up on kk’s live? pretend the ncaa's lift on cannabis for athletes happens before the start of the 23-24 season! (so sorry for the inactivity but I just got back from camp and am ready to feed y'all)
‣‣‣ a/n: so i actually thought of this fic idea when i tried a weed pen for the first time (it's legal in ca) and i passed out with half my clothes on, no fan, forgot to brush my teeth and take my makeup off, and accidentally left a small heater on in my room that ran for four hours and turned my room into a furnace before my mom came in and turned it off and woke me up to yell at me 😊!
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8:42 am
To say that you and Nika were in trouble by the events of last night was a little bit of an understatement. Both of your phones were blowing up by your respective coaches, teammates, close friends, and all of your social media accounts.
As you scrolled through your tiktok, text messages, instagram tags, and just about everything else on your phone while laying next to Nika's sleeping figure in her bed, it only reaffirmed one thing in your head.
You and Nika majorly fucked up.
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12:07 am; where it all went wrong
With your volleyball season and Nika's basketball season being in their respective peaks during this time of year, you had barely gotten a chance to spend time with your girlfriend alone. The two of you were either travelling for away games, at practice, in class, hanging out with your friends or teammates, or busy studying. Needless to say, you missed Nika. A lot.
Which, combined with the weed pen you were hitting periodically, loosened your inhibitions to a whole new level inside of Ted's fairly crowded bar.
It wasn't jam-packed, but there was a decent crowd of older college students for a Friday night in October, especially since Halloween was soon to be approaching in two weeks.
Normally, you and Nika weren’t big on PDA, at most you would hold hands or give small pecks around the team, considering the fact that the two of you kept your relationship very much on the down low, not so much a secret as very private. You never denied any allegations but basically never posted together on your own, unless the two of you ended up in the background of someone else’s pictures.
Social media had a lot of speculation, edits, rumors, etc, surrounding the two of you, as you had no connection to the team as a volleyball player yet still hung out with them regularly. But either way, you and Nika always just minded your own business and kept everything very hush hush. Except for tonight.
Nika was sort of sober, she had done two shots with some of the other girls while you mostly just smoked a few times, not wanting to get super high, but just enough to let the tingly sense of giggly euphoria wash over you.
Yet one thing you failed to consider when choosing weed over alcohol for tonight was the fact that it made you incredibly horny. That, combined with the fact that you and Nika hadn’t spent any time together in the last three weeks, let alone have sex, were the leading factors of tonight.
The rest of the basketball team was spread throughout the bar, some were at a table not far from the two of you, messing around on KK's live, while others were dancing, drinking, or mingling with their other friends.
Which left you and Nika alone, squished together in the corner of the bar top. You were leaning with your back against the wall, standing in between Nika's spread legs from her position facing you atop the stool. Her hands were holding onto your bare thighs, occasionally removing her left to take a small sip of her drink before dutifully returning to your legs.
"I'm just saying Niks, we could definitely sneak out without anyone noticing, everyone's too busy doing their own thing," you attempted to convince your stubborn girlfriend, sweetening the notion by rubbing your hands up and down her jean-clad thighs.
As D1 athletes, it was obvious that the two of you had toned and muscular bodies, but one of Nika's features you found most attractive were her muscular thighs she built from her time in the gym and on the court, especially the way they would wrap around your head while eating her out.
"We'll leave soon bebo don't worry. Besides," Nika leaned into your ear, her warm breath sending shivers down your spine. "I already promised I would make up the last three weeks to you tonight yeah? What's another hour ljubavi?"
You bit your bottom lip as Nika pulled back, thudding your head on the wall behind you as your eyes trailed over the small smirk Nika held, now using her fingers to draw small circles on your thigh.
"Fuck, you're driving me crazy like this Nika," you reached your right hand over to the bar top, desperate to take another hit of your pen to ease the influx of horny thoughts running through your mind.
Before you could bring the vape up to your mouth, Nika grabbed your waist and pulled you into her, and despite her sitting position, you still only had a good two inches over her.
"You're not gonna share bebo?" Her teasing eyes gleamed up at you as she licked her lips in anticipation.
You immediately knew what she meant by that, the two of you doing it all the time whenever you're smoking or vaping together (y'all have seen the watermelon pic of her and let's be frl, they're college students, it's NORMAL).
You smirked at her suggestion, leaning into her before taking a deep inhale of the weed, allowing as much of the smoke to enter your lungs as possible before using your left hand to grab Nika's jaw, pressing your open lips against hers to shotgun the smoke into her mouth.
You didn't even wait to finish exhaling all of the smoke and taking another breath before enveloping Nika's lips into yours hungrily, eagerily gripping her waist with the hand still holding the vape.
You kissed her passionately, deepening the kiss as you slipped your tongue into her mouth, the mixture of the rum and coke she was drinking earlier and the earthy taste of weed making your head spin.
You continued to make out for a few minutes, gently pulling away while tugging her bottom lip with your teeth, gazing down at her closed eyes and blissful expression.
"You finally ready to go home Niks?" You teased, licking your swollen lips at her finally needy expression.
"We're getting the fuck out of here, right now," she rushed out, flagging down the bartender to pay off her tab and the second she got her credit card in hand, interlocked her fingers with yours to drag you out of the bar.
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Completely unbeknownst to the two of you, KK and her live had been at the table diagonal to you the whole time, and while her body covered the two of you behind her while sitting, the only shield you had quickly disappeared when she stood up, leaning over the table to steal some of Ice's food when it had been set down, completely exposing you to her two thousand viewers, who were no doubt screen-recording.
The camera clearly caught your lips against Nika's blowing smoke into her mouth before leaning in to kiss her, and despite the two of you being on screen for less than a minute, it was enough to cause an internet commotion.
KK's eyes scanned over the comments as she sat back down, blocking your frames as she shoved a few fries in her mouth. Her eyes widened at the sudden influx of comments about you and Nika, leaning in to figure out what was going on.
"I, what? There's no way y'all," she whispered to the table of Paige, Ice, Carol, and Jana. Paige leaned in from KK's right side, trying to figure out what had happened.
Covering the camera slightly, KK, and everyone else, turned around to witness you and Nika's little makeout session ending and the flirty whispers exchanged.
"Unfortunately tonight's live is gonna have to end here girly pops, and if you think you saw something, no you didn't!" KK exclaimed as she quickly turned off the live, the table erupting with laughter at the situation. The whole team had placed bets on how long it would take you and Nika to fumble, and half of them had just lost a hundred dollars at your shennagains.
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The walk back to Nika's apartment was brief, filled with flirty touches and short pecks to tide the two of you over until you finally entered home, Nika immediately pushing you up against the front door, moving her lips down your neck and around your collarbones with gentle grazes of her teeth and soothing licks.
"Niks please, stop teasing," you breathed out, grasping Nika's hair tightly from her scalp with your hand, pulling her face up to yours to gaze down at her with a pleading expression.
"Aw, my poor bebo," she cooed, mocking your horny desperation for her, but thankfully Nika wasn't that cruel.
She led you over to her bedroom, slamming her bedroom door behind her as she pulled your shirt over your head, unfastening the bra clipped behind your back all while reconnecting your lips as she laid you down onto the bed.
You moaned into her mouth as her long fingers bunched your skirt up by your waist, rubbing gentle circles on your clit through your panties.
Before you even had the chance to ask for more, she slid the fabric to the side, running her fingers through your slick before inserting two of her fingers, curling them up into you as you let go of her lips to throw your head back, moaning loudly at her ministrations.
"Oh my god Nika, right there baby, fuck," your leg wrapped around her waist tightly as you clenched around her fingers, bucking your hips up to match her movements. Your hands making their way around her neck and back, pressing her body firmly up against yours.
Normally you wouldn't be so close to finishing within a few minutes, but the weed from earlier created a delirious fog that clouded your brain and with the way Nika's fingers were both pressing into your g-spot and rubbing your clit, your orgasm was quickly approaching.
"Fuck I'm so close Niks, please just need a little more," you whimpered into her ear, moving your lips down to nip at the sweet spot under her ear.
Her other hand responded quickly to your begs, twisting and tugging firmly at your nipple as she mindlessly muttered every dirty thought that crossed her mind, knowing how deeply her praises affected you.
"Doing so good for me bebo, always such a good girl. You gonna be my good girl and come for me? Just let go for me ljubavi."
Her words were the final thing to push you over the edge, the tight coil in your stomach snapping as you immediately arched your back into Nika, an endless string of moans and curses falling from your mouth as you let your orgasm wash over you fully.
"God Nika, I don't think I can even feel my legs right now," you giggled in her embrace as she slowly eased her fingers out of you, sucking the remnants of your orgasm off them before wrapping them around your waist, laying you over her as she laid onto her back.
"Hm, fucked you that good huh?" She smirked, using her clean(ish) hand to brush the slightly sweaty strands of hair that had fallen in front of your flushed face.
"I don't know why you're getting so cocky Mühl, haven't even had my turn with you yet," you teased, running your fingers over her stomach, tugging at the remaining fabric on her body.
"Thought you just said you can't even feel your legs bebo?"
"Good thing I don't need them to fuck you then yeah? Don't you think my fingers and mouth will be enough for you Niks," you retorted, shuffling your body down the mattress so you could finally have your way with Nika.
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9:13 am
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y/n l/n posted a story
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crescenthistory · 2 months ago
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Murder's on the Wishlist
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Pairing: Barty Crouch Junior x Reader
Summary: For the first time, you are forced to spend Christmas at home instead of at Hogwarts. Your usual companion over the holidays and devoted best friend, Barty, comforts you.
Words: 3.4k
Warnings: not proofread, very strongly hinted at abusive homes on both parts, neglect, unhealthy family dynamics, lowkey a panic attack, angst, hopeful/comforted but not necessarily happy ending, Intense Best Friends Who Actually Are In Love, a lot of physical affection, murder is mentioned a lot, barty's killer instincts are in high gear, barty being real soft in private, i think it's gender neutral reader
Note: can you tell i like hurt/comfort fics? also i'm much more happy with this portrayal of barty, i think i'm getting somewhere
***
You had been staring at the letter in your hands for what felt like hours, though you were sure only a few minutes had passed. The creases in the parchment were worn thin from where your fingers gripped it tightly, the sharp angles of your mother’s elegant script slicing into your thoughts. 
Dearest,
It’s been decided. You will come home for the Christmas holidays this year. Father insists. 
Mother.
That was it. Short, curt, like an afterthought. As though this decision had already been engraved in stone and she was only letting you know as a formality. The sinking feeling in your chest tightened. Every word felt like a weight pulling you down. You had done everything you could to avoid it, year after year, and it left a curdling taste in your mouth to know you failed at last. There was always some excuse to find for not going home for the holidays, for staying behind at Hogwarts where you could hide out with Barty. It had not been difficult most times, it was not as if it truly made an emotional difference for your family whether you were home or not. Home. It left a bitter taste in your mouth, because the house you were being dragged back to was not your home, never had been.
Hogwarts was not necessarily either, but your friends were. With them, and thus at Hogwarts, you were safe, sheltered. It was only once they realised how content you were there, that your parents’ watchful eyes narrowed and their grip on your neck that they had seemingly forgotten about tightened. 
You’re growing older now, your mother began saying last summer. It’s time we finally making something out of you, Merlin knows you won’t.
The comments did not bite anymore, none of it really bit. At least that is what you told them all, when your little makeshift family in the Slytherin dungeons gathered in one of the dormitories to trash your respective families. It was lighthearted, it helped you all carry the burden – but it was not real, none of your defiance could be real. The only ones who truly stood up to their parents with all the unfiltered rage you all harboured was Barty and Dorcas, and you saw where that landed them. Dorcas living with Marlene, Barty clinging to the castle he claimed to hate. 
With a shaky breath, you crumpled the letter into your fist and shoved it deep into your robe pocket, already moving. You could not do it. Face your parents and their expectations, their cruel words, their harsh neglect. How delicately they tethered the line between neglect and overbearing – somehow hitting you where it hurts most with both. Unwanted and unsuccessful. Forgotten and watched. There was just no way you could go through with it, but as your pace picked up to a borderline sprint down the hallways, you knew there was no way out of it either.
You needed Barty. You needed to see him now, to tell him – to feel something other than this crushing dread eating away at you from the inside.
He picked you out of the crowd that first day in the Slytherin common room, where you were plastered on the wall with fear probably written all over your face and a defensive snarl ready at your lips. He had simply looked you over, smiled and said You seem fun, let’s go. Ever since you were attached at the hip, he taught you the definition of loyalty (though you have since learned that Barty’s loyalty often went much, much further than most’s) and of unconditional love. Whether it was dying acid green streaks in his hair in the boy’s bathroom sink, piercing each other’s ears in your dormitories, laughing in the common room until it was so late he had to steal you a potion to help you not be so tired the next time – it was the two of you.
Most importantly, every single Christmas for the past six years, it has been you two. Requesting some entirely unfit dinner from the house elves, bringing it to a part of the castle you rarely got to go, and doing everything one does not do during the holidays. Creating your own tradition of no traditions, just satisfying every odd thought and instinct – though, as usual, you sometimes had to be Barty’s self control, just as he often was your bravery.
Your ears were ringing by the time you rounded the corner, hand burning around the letter in your pocket. There was no true coherent thought in your mind.
You found him in one of the dimly lit corridors of the dungeons, perched on a windowsill as though he had been waiting for you. He had that wild, chaotic gleam in his eyes, a constant spark that lit up whenever you were around. The only thing that felt right in the world right now.
When he spotted you, his face split into a grin – sharp and playful, yet softened only by the affection he reserved for you. "Treasure!" he called out, jumping off the sill to stroll towards you.
"Barty." Your voice came out thinner than you wanted, and before you could stop yourself, you were moving toward him, burying your face in the crook of his shoulder. His arms, instinctive and familiar, immediately wrapped around you, pulling you closer.
“Shit, what happened?” he asked, his voice losing that teasing lilt it always carried. “Who do I have to kill this time?” His promise to fix things for you in his own twisted way, usually made you laugh. Now, though, all it did was tighten the lump in your throat. 
As you tried to stabilise your voice to speak, he moved you around the corner into a small alcove in the wall, attempting to give you some privacy.
“My mother,” you finally choked out, voice muffled against his robes. “She– she wants me to come home for Christmas.”
His whole body stiffened, and you felt the shift in his posture against your body. Barty's hand, which had been stroking your hair gently, curled into a fist against the nape of your nape. You could practically hear his jaw clench.
“They’re making you go?” he asked, his voice sharp with annoyance. “You can’t go. You’re supposed to stay with me.”
“I know.” The words tasted bitter. “But I have no choice this time, she made that clear. ‘Father insists’.” You imitated your mother’s voice with teary contempt, making Barty tighten his hold on you, as if he could protect you from the inevitable with sheer proximity.
“Well, fuck him,” Barty growled. “I’m not letting them take you. You’re not going back there.”
“I don’t want to, Barty,” you whispered, a tear slipping down your cheek. “They’re not giving me a choice.”
“I will. I’ll give you a choice. I’ll do anything, you don’t have to go.” His mouth was so close to your ear, you could feel his lips moving, melting slowly into him at his words.
“I know that’s a lie, but I don’t care if you have to lie,” you said, your voice trembling as you pulled back slightly to meet his gaze, your desperation plain. “Just make me feel better, even if it’s just for a little bit.”
Barty’s intense stare softened visibly at your pained expression, his eyes flickering with something darker, more protective, and just as unhinged as you needed him to be. He exhaled slowly, then leaned his forehead against yours, his hands cradling your face as though you were the most precious thing in the world.
“It’s not a lie. You’re not going anywhere,” he whispered, his voice as soft as the brush of his thumb against your cheek. “I don’t care what they say. I’ll make sure of it. I’ll burn your fucking house down if I have to.”
A small, humourless laugh escaped your throat, the thought of him actually doing it not entirely far-fetched. “Barty…”
“I’m serious.” He pulled back just enough to look at you properly, his expression wild but laced with something raw and sincere. Your arms were around his waist, holding onto the small of his back for dear life. “You’re mine, Treasure. They don’t get to take you away from me, not now. Not ever.”
Your heart stuttered, his words sinking into you like a soothing balm over the dread. He had always been this way – intense, borderline obsessive when it came to you. But it wasn’t suffocating; it was the only thing that made you feel safe. Maybe that was the dangerous part, because you believed him. 
“Oh, how I wish it were that simple Barty,” you murmured, sinking back into his arms, needing to be enveloped by him entirely, to drown out everything else. “We’ve talked about running away for years, but we both know we cannot. My life would be ruined, I would have no options for a stable, viable future, no money for the first time, nothing to fall back on, no–”
Barty cooed shushing sounds in your ear, swinging you back and forth as he brought you down from the intense spiral you were ranting your way into.
“You would have me,” he whispered into your ear and you shivered into him from the immense emotion washing over you.
“And, at this point, would it not be worth it?” Barty continued, voice edged with frustration, his mind already whirring with reckless plans. “We’ve got an entire castle at our disposal. You could hide here. They wouldn’t find you. We’ll make it work. Or,” his voice dropped even lower, more dangerous, “I’ll make sure they can’t make you leave.”
You pulled back to look at him, wiping the remaining tears from your eyes as you met his gaze. His fierce protectiveness was written across every line of his face. His lips quirked into a half-smile, as though he could see the spark of hope in your eyes, no matter how small it was. You knew it couldn’t be, of course, but he pretended – maybe even believed – so beautifully.
“I don’t want to leave you behind,” you admitted softly. “Not for them.”
“You aren’t.” His voice was firm, a promise. “You belong here with me. And I swear, Treasure, I’ll make sure of that. Even if I have to drag your family into the Forbidden Forest and–”
“Barty.” You laughed, genuinely this time, though it came out shaky. “You can’t just solve everything by threatening murder.”
“Why not?” he shot back, his grin widening, though his eyes remained serious. “It works, doesn’t it? It makes you feel better, doesn’t it?” For the last part his hand travelled to grip your shoulders a bit, as if he needed to make sure that he was helping you feel better, even if only slightly.
You nodded teary-eyed, having no real words for the boy and how much he eased your fears and pains. Instead, you let out a long sigh, leaning into him again, your head resting against his chest. The steady rhythm of his heartbeat under your ear calmed you more than anything else had today. “I wish we could just… stay here forever,” you whispered, closing your eyes.
“You wanna spend the rest of your life at Hogwarts, Treasure?” Barty quipped, earning a small pinch in his back that he yelped at.
“You know what I mean, Barty,” you whispered into his shirt, and though you couldn’t see it, his eyes softened at that, holding you a bit more tenderly.
“Then we will,” Barty murmured into your hair, his lips brushing your forehead in a rare, soft gesture. “We’ll make this place ours, any place you want. Fuck the rest of them.”
You felt his arms tighten around you, pulling you even closer. His touch was possessive, but comforting. Like he could shield you from everything, even yourself.
“Promise me something,” you whispered.
“Anything.”
“Promise you won’t forget me while I’m gone.” There was a slight teasing tone to your voice, showing Barty that you were more at ease.
Still, he pulled back just enough to look into your eyes again, his brow dramatically furrowed as if the thought itself was absurd. “Forget you?” He almost scoffed, his tone incredulous. “I think about you every second I’m not with you, Treasure. Don’t you know that by now?”
His hand slid to the back of your neck, his touch grounding you despite his theatrics as he stared into your eyes with that intensity that always made your heart race. “You’re not just someone I forget. You’re the only thing that matters.”
You felt your chest tighten at his words, your eyes stinging again, but this time it was softer, warmer than the cold dread that had been suffocating you. His words were like a lifeline, pulling you back from the edge. There had never been any move to label the care that existed between you – Rosier called you a couple once and no one corrected him, and since then that had been the status quo. There had been no conversation, just unwavering loyalty and support that you could not for the life of you explain. To you, there was everyone else and then there was Barty.
“I hate this,” you admitted, voice small as you fisted his shirt into your hands. “I hate the thought of leaving you. We always said fuck Christmas, but still – I don’t want you to be alone during it.”
“I won’t be alone,” Barty began, deadly serious in that way that told you he was anything but, “I’ll have a thousand house elves to torment and pictures of you to keep me company. If I’m lucky, Slughorn’s staying over the holidays like he did in fourth year.”
“Oh well, in that case, I might as well go fuck myself for all I matter,” you joked, tilting your head and rolling your eyes – but not moving even an inch away from him.
“You won’t be gone forever,” Barty said, voice lower and more genuine. His fingers were tracing patterns on the back of your neck, and you leaned into his touch. “And when you come back, we’ll make up for all the lost time. Hell, I’ll make sure we never have to spend another Christmas apart again. We’ll do something so ridiculous every year, we won’t even remember the one we spent apart.”
You let out a breathy laugh at that, imagining the kind of chaos the two of you could wreak at Hogwarts when you got back. Barty was always brimming with chaos to unleash, and somehow, you knew he meant every word. He always did.
“Are you dedicating all your future Christmases to me, Junior” You quirked a teasing brow, finally sporting a small smile. Barty could have kissed you right then just to thank your lips for showing him your joy.
“I’m dedicating everything to you, Treasure, if it would make you happy.” He smiled at you, that lopsided grin of his that made your heart twist in ways you couldn’t explain. 
For the first time since you opened that letter, you felt something other than fear. You felt hope.
“I reckon it would,” you whisper, leaning in for a hug, this time out of gratitude instead of desperation. You leaned up, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek in a rare moment of affection. “Thank you.”
“For what?” 
“For always making me feel better. Even if you have to lie.”
Barty grinned at that, his eyes gleaming with that familiar wild spark. “I have never meant anything more than what I say to you, love. But when you ask, I’d lie. I’d do a hell of a lot more, if you’d let me. You already know that.”
You smiled back, feeling the tension finally begin to drain from your body. With him, you could survive anything. A horrible, draining week with your parents will eventually be just that – a week – when you’re back in Barty’s arms. 
“You always make it sound so simple,” you mused, the warmth of his body soothing, but the thought of leaving him still gnawing at your insides. “Like it’s all going to be okay just because you say so.”
“It will be.” His voice had that same self-assured, almost manic edge to it, but underneath it was something steady. Unshakeable. “You know why?”
“Why?” you asked, a soft challenge in your tone, though a part of you already knew his answer.
“Because we’ll make it okay. You and me, Treasure. We always do.” His fingers trailed along your jaw, lingering there, as if he needed to remind himself that you were still here with him, for now. “You think I’m going to let them take you away without a fight? I’ll give them hell. They can have your time this once, your body, but they can’t touch this.” His hand pressed against your chest, just above your heart, his eyes dark and serious now. “They’ll never touch this. Not us.”
You inhaled sharply, feeling the intensity of his words pulse through you. Without thinking you repeated his last words not us, which teased a soft smile from him.With Barty, there was always a battle, always some unseen war being waged. And right now, the war was over you.
“I’m scared,” you admitted, the words tumbling out before you could stop them. They felt fragile in the air between you, but Barty didn’t flinch. “I just don’t want to go back there so soon. It’s suffocating. They’re suffocating.”
“I know,” he said softly, his eyes flickering with understanding. He didn’t push you to explain further, he never had to. He knew enough, and the things left unsaid were just as clear to him as the things you told him. He hated your family almost as much as you did, and in some twisted way, you knew he was angry not just for you, but for himself too. “Your family’s shit. But you’re not them. You don’t belong with them. You belong here, with me. And if I could, I’d rip you out of that hellhole and never let them see you again. I will as soon as possible.”
“Barty…” You closed your eyes, grounded by his hand still lingering on your chest. His words were sharp, but they smoothed you over in ways you couldn’t explain.
“You’ll come back,” he whispered, his lips brushing the edge of your temple, almost a kiss. “I’ll wait for you. And when you do, we’ll make sure it’s the last fucking time you have to deal with them. I’ll do whatever it takes. I swear it.”
There was no hesitation, no doubt in his voice. His intensity, that relentless drive he had to bend the world to his will, made you believe him. In a way, it always did. His promises weren’t just comforting; they were declarations, vows. He wasn’t just saying what he thought you wanted to hear—he meant it. And you knew Barty well enough to know that when he promised something, it was never just words.
You breathed him in and took a half-step back, silently declaring yourself convinced and comforted all at once.
“I guess I’m gonna have to get you a real Christmas present this year, since we’re forced to be civilised,” you said, and he snorted.
“Nothing can ever civilise us. Not even your mother.”
“Probably not,” you smiled, taking his hand to lead him out of the corner he secured for you, ready to face the world. “But we can make it a game and have fun pretending.”
“If so, what do regular citizens get their person?” Barty mused, and you tried to smile through your heart skipping a few beats.
“Gonna have to guess socks.”
“Socks, that’s a good one.” He barked out a laugh at his own joke. “I’m gonna get you so many boring socks Treasure, just you wait.”
You bumped into him as a response, and when you looked up he was already looking at you with a huge grin, clearly pleased with this turn of the conversation.
“Oh, it is on, Junior.”
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