#nesta is sapphic | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

hrizantemy · 7 days ago

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Nesta stood in the kitchen of the House of Wind, her fingers curled around the edge of the wooden counter, the warmth of the hearth doing nothing to touch the cold sinking into her bones. Across from her, Elain stood stiff, her hands clasped together as if holding herself in place, as if forcing herself not to tremble.

They stared at each other.

Elain’s voice had been quiet when she first spoke, but it had not been soft. The words had been honed, sharp, and they cut Nesta clean through.

“You pushed us away. Pushed everyone away. And then one day, you just… came back. And you didn’t need us anymore.”

Nesta didn’t say anything.

Elain’s throat bobbed as she swallowed, as she let out a breath too heavy for her slight frame.

“You healed without us. It was easy for you. So why—” Elain’s voice cracked, but she forced herself to keep going, her brown eyes burning with something raw, something that had been simmering in her for so long Nesta had never even noticed. “Why couldn’t you do it with us?”

Nesta’s fingers tightened on the counter, the wood biting into her skin.

She could have said a thousand things. That it hadn’t been easy. That she had burned and broken and clawed her way back from the darkness with bloodied hands. That she had not healed so much as survived.

But none of that would matter, not to Elain.

Because Elain had not been looking for an explanation.

She had been looking for an answer.

Then the fire started in her chest, blazing hot and all-consuming. It roared through her veins, searing through every tender, fragile thing that had been built inside her over these past months. Nesta wanted to rage. She wanted to burn.

How dare Elain say that?

How dare she stand there, in this too-warm kitchen that had never felt so unbearably cold, and say those things as if Nesta had chosen to carve herself apart? As if she had wanted to drown alone?

A thousand cruel words clawed their way up Nesta’s throat, sharp as glass, aching to be thrown. She could have torn Elain apart, piece by delicate piece. She could have reminded her that she had been the one to stand idle as Nesta fell apart, that she had done nothing while their world collapsed. That she had been too soft, too sweet, too wrapped up in her own grief to fight for anything.

Nesta could have said it. She wanted to say it.

But she didn’t.

Because beneath Elain’s sharp words, beneath the rare anger in those doe-brown eyes, was something else.

Hurt.

Nesta exhaled sharply, fists clenched so tight her nails bit into her palms.

Elain had never known how to be angry. Not like Nesta. Not like Feyre. But now, standing there, her voice shaking, her hands trembling—Elain was furious in the only way she knew how.

And for once, Nesta did not fight back.

She swallowed down the fire, let it sear her from the inside, let it settle into something bitter and burning. Because Elain had spoken with resentment, yes. But beneath it, Nesta realized, was something worse.

A plea.

And Nesta let out a sharp, bitter laugh, though there was nothing funny about any of this. She could still taste the fire on her tongue, still feel the venomous words she wanted to spit out, but she swallowed them down. Instead, her voice came out like steel wrapped in smoke—steady, but edged with something dangerous.

“How?” she demanded, the word snapping through the cold kitchen. “How was I supposed to heal with you? With any of you? You didn’t know how. None of you knew how.”

Elain flinched, but Nesta didn’t stop.

“You wanted me to be better, but none of you actually knew what that meant. You just wanted me to stop being a problem. Stop making things ugly and difficult. You wanted me to sit in that damn house, wasting away, pretending everything was fine just because it made you feel better.”

Her breath was ragged, her heart pounding like war drums in her chest.

Elain shook her head, her arms wrapping around herself like she was holding something in. “That’s not fair,” she whispered, but Nesta just laughed again, harsher this time.

“It’s the truth.”

Elain’s eyes were shining now, but Nesta refused to feel guilty for it. Not when her sister had thrown the first stone.

“We had a plan,” Elain finally said, her voice wavering, but there was an edge to it now. A quiet sort of desperation, like she was trying to make Nesta understand. “Rhysand and Feyre… they had a plan. They were going to help you, Nesta.”

Nesta went still.

Her rage flickered, turned to something colder, something more dangerous.

“A plan,” she repeated, her voice barely above a whisper.

Elain nodded quickly, her hands tightening where they gripped her arms. “They just—” She hesitated, her mouth pressing into a thin line before she finally forced out, “They didn’t know how to help. But they were trying.”

Nesta stared at her sister.

And then she let out a breath, slow and sharp, like the edge of a blade.

“Trying.”

A bitter smile curled at her lips, but there was no humor in it.

Nesta let the silence stretch between them, let it grow thick and heavy, suffocating.

Then, slowly, she tilted her head and said, “What was it, then?”

Elain blinked. “What?”

Nesta took a step forward, voice quiet but sharp as a blade. “This plan you keep talking about. What was it? What was your version of trying?”

Elain opened her mouth, but no words came out. She swallowed, glancing away for a moment before she forced herself to meet Nesta’s gaze again.

“You… you could have come here,” she said finally, voice wavering. “You could have trained with Cassian, worked in the library with the priestesses—”

Nesta let out a breath of disbelief, shaking her head with a laugh that had no real amusement in it.

“That was your plan?” she asked, her voice like ice. “That was how you were going to help me? Just send me away, let someone else deal with me?”

Elain flinched, and for the first time, guilt flashed across her face. But she squared her shoulders, lifting her chin in that quiet, stubborn way of hers. “It wasn’t like that.”

“Then what was it like?” Nesta demanded.

Elain didn’t answer.

Because they both knew.

Nesta let out a sharp breath, shaking her head as the pieces fell into place, as the truth settled over her like a suffocating weight.

“You were going to lock me in a tower,” she said, voice flat. “Trap me up here with no way out and call it helping.”

Elain’s eyes went wide, her lips parting as she rushed to shake her head. “That’s not true! You—you could have gone down the stairs, Nesta. You could have left anytime you wanted.”

Nesta laughed, low and bitter. “Is that what you tell yourself? That I could have just walked down those ten thousand fucking steps and everything would’ve been fine?” She took a step closer, her voice cutting through the cold air. “You never intended for me to go down those stairs. None of you did. You would have sent me up here because you wanted me gone. You wanted to dump me with Cassian—the one person I told you, over and over, that I didn’t want to be around—and just hope for the best.”

Elain flinched, but Nesta didn’t stop. “That was your great plan. Your version of helping. Throw me in a cage, leave me with someone I didn’t want to see, and if I didn’t fix myself—if I didn’t magically become someone more palatable for you all—then what?”

Elain swallowed hard, her fingers trembling where they gripped her arms. But she had nothing to say to that.

Because Nesta was right.

Nesta leaned forward, her gaze sharp and cold as she pinned Elain with a look.

“So tell me, Elain,” she said, her voice dropping to a dangerous whisper, “What would’ve happened if I didn’t fix myself? If I didn’t magically heal in the way you all thought I should? What was the real plan?”

To her surprise, Elain didn’t flinch. Instead, her chin lifted, her gaze firm and resolute, as if she truly believed in what she was about to say. “Then you would have gone back to the human lands.”

Nesta’s heart stuttered for a moment, and she blinked. “What?”

Elain’s voice didn’t waver. “That was the ultimatum. Fix yourself, or go back. Back to the human lands. To that place where you didn’t have to face any of us.”

The words hit Nesta like a slap, and she scoffed. “Really?” she sneered. “Fix myself, or be sent back to be hunted like a beast for sport?”

Elain’s eyes hardened, but there was no anger in them, just a quiet certainty.

Nesta stared at her, her hands curling into fists at her sides. She had never been so disgusted in her life.

Nesta stood there, frozen for a moment, as the weight of Elain’s words settled around her. The calmness of the room, the steady crackling of the fire in the hearth—it should have been comforting. But all she could feel now was the raw burn of it, the familiar sting of flames licking at her skin, crawling through her veins, trying to claw their way out.

Her heart hammered in her chest, and for a moment, the world felt unbearably small, suffocating. The flames were rising again—raging inside her, hot and furious, and the power that she had once resented, that she had fought with every fiber of her being, was surging within her now. The same fury, the same destruction.

It was always there.

The flames had always been there, buried deep inside her, waiting. Always ready to consume. Always ready to burn the world down.

But not now.

Nesta closed her eyes, her breath coming in sharp, shaky inhales. She could feel it—the heat, the strength—and for the first time, she didn’t want to give in. She didn’t want to let it take over.

With every ounce of willpower she had left, she shoved it down, pushed it back into herself, into the deep, empty spaces where it had always hidden. She crammed it all into those holes, locking it in, forcing it back behind the walls she had spent so long building.

Not this time, she told herself. Not again.

Her chest ached with the weight of it—the suffocating pressure of holding it all back, of keeping those flames from consuming everything around her. She felt the burn in her throat, the taste of fire on her tongue, but she clenched her teeth and forced it down. She wouldn’t let it out. Not here. Not now.

Not with Elain watching.

Nesta exhaled sharply, the effort of holding everything in making her chest feel tight, suffocating. She blinked, looking at Elain, and it should have felt like betrayal. Her sister—her sweet sister—had agreed to this. Had backed this plan, this cold, heartless ultimatum. It should have stung, should have burned like the flames that were still coiling through her veins. But instead, all she felt was… numbness.

The fire was still there, just beneath the surface, but now it was distant. Fading into the background of her thoughts, leaving nothing but the weight of her sister’s silence.

Nesta shook her head slowly.

“You, of all people,” she murmured, her voice hoarse from holding back everything she wanted to say. “You agreed to this?”

Elain’s expression faltered for just a moment, before she squared her shoulders, trying to hold onto the same resolve she had moments before. But Nesta saw it—saw the hesitation there, the guilt lurking behind her eyes.

“Did you think I would just—fix myself? That I’d become this… this thing you wanted me to be?”

Elain’s lips trembled, but she didn’t answer.

As Nesta stared at Elain, something shifted in her sister’s eyes. It wasn’t guilt about the plan—no, Elain still believed in it, still thought it had been the right thing to do. But there was something else now, something deeper, something more raw. Regret. It flashed in her gaze, quick and sharp, but it wasn’t for what Nesta had expected.

It wasn’t for the plan. It wasn’t for the cold decision to send her away, to lock her in a tower with no escape.

It was for the words she had said. The truths she had revealed.

And as that realization settled on Nesta, she felt a flicker of the same regret within herself. What had it been for? What was the point of this? Of tearing at each other, exposing these old, festering wounds? Would it even make a difference?

She closed her eyes for a moment, the ache in her chest growing.

It wasn’t the plan that hurt the most. It was the feeling of seeing Elain—her sister, her blood—stripped of the softness she had always worn like a shield. The way she looked now, so broken, so exposed, made something twist inside Nesta. It made her wonder if the cost of honesty—of telling her what she really thought—was worth what came next.

The silence between them was heavy, suffocating. And Nesta hated it. She hated the way Elain was looking at her, the way she could feel the shift, the regret both of them were carrying but had no idea how to express.

Finally, Nesta spoke, her voice quieter now.

“You shouldn’t have told me,” she said, the words tasting like ash in her mouth. “I shouldn’t have heard it.”

And with that, she turned away, unable to look at her sister anymore.

Nesta walked away without looking back, her steps slow but deliberate. The weight of the conversation still pressed on her chest, and she could feel the bitter taste of it lingering on her tongue. She had to escape. The suffocating silence between her and Elain was too much. She needed space, air—anything but that thick, stifling tension.

As she entered the common room, the atmosphere didn’t offer the reprieve she had hoped for. It was just as tense, just as loaded as the kitchen had been. The soft flicker of the fire in the hearth did little to ease the heaviness in the room. Feyre, sitting on one of the couches, glanced up at Nesta with a strained smile, but it was clear no one had spoken much since she’d left.

None of them had.

Feyre had likely tried to fill the silence with small talk—awkward, disjointed attempts at conversation that fell flat, like throwing pebbles into an empty well. Nesta could see the strain on her sister’s face. Feyre never liked this kind of tension.

But Nesta didn’t care. She didn’t care about their awkward attempts to bridge the gap between them.

Her eyes flicked to Taryn, sitting quietly on the far side of the room, her expression unreadable. For a moment, there was no need for words between them.

Nesta took a deep breath and said, “Let’s go.”

Taryn didn’t hesitate. She met Nesta’s gaze for a beat, then stood without a word, the silence between them stretching but not breaking.

There was no argument. There was no protest. Just a shared understanding.

As Nesta reached the door, she heard Feyre’s voice, clear and tight with concern. “Where are you going?”

She paused, not turning immediately. She could feel Feyre’s eyes on her, could hear the unspoken plea in her voice. “You’ve only just gotten here,” Feyre added, the words almost a whisper.

It was enough to make Nesta stop. Enough to make her look back, though the anger that flared in her chest made her want to walk out without a word.

She turned slowly, meeting her sister’s eyes. The weight of what had been said earlier—the anger, the resentments, the truths spilled out in the heat of the moment—pressed on her, and for a brief, sharp second, Nesta felt a bitter sting of betrayal.

But it wasn’t just anger she felt. There was something else, something darker and more sorrowful. Pity.

Because she could see it now. Feyre wasn’t trying to trap her, not really. She wasn’t trying to break her down. Feyre had seen the way Nesta had crumbled before, the way she had spiraled after the war. She had watched her drown in men and drink, in rage and loneliness, and it must have felt like the only way to save her was to lock her away, or to send her off to the farthest reaches where she wouldn’t have to watch it anymore.

She took a deep breath before speaking, her voice raw, trembling slightly with emotion.

“Elain told me about the plan,” she said, her gaze flicking to each of them, one by one. “About how you were going to help me heal. How you thought sending me away with Cassian and locking me in some damn tower would fix me.”

Her words hung in the air like a punch, and she could see the shock on their faces. Feyre’s eyes widened, guilt flickering across her features. But it was too late for apologies, too late for anything but the truth.

Cassian, to his credit, looked just as stunned. He opened his mouth to speak, but Nesta cut him off, her voice barely more than a whisper now.

“So, that was it? That was the great plan you thought would heal me? The great solution? You just thought you’d throw me at Cassian, leave me to figure it out, and everything would magically fall into place?”

Her eyes flicked over to Rhysand, who had remained silent until now. He didn’t look apologetic at all. Instead, his gaze was steady, unwavering, as he put a hand on Feyre’s shoulder in a way that seemed more like comfort than guilt.

And then he spoke, his tone calm but firm, answering for Feyre without hesitation.

“We thought it was the only way,” he said. “But it hadn’t come to that, Nesta.”

It hadn’t come to that.

The words cut through her, and for a moment, she didn’t know whether to scream or collapse under the weight of it all. The coldness, the distance, the feeling of being reduced to a problem to be solved instead of a person who needed help.

Feyre stumbled back a step, her hand instinctively reaching for Rhysand’s as if grounding herself in him could somehow steady her racing thoughts. Her voice wavered when she spoke, the weight of the situation pressing down on her shoulders.

“I… I thought it would help,” she said, the words coming out strained, as if she were trying to convince herself as much as Nesta. “You were spiraling, Nesta. I thought—”

Her voice caught, and for a moment, it felt like she was fighting something back. She cast a glance at Cassian, but her words faltered. She cleared her throat, almost too quickly, and turned her gaze to Taryn, who stood silent, watching the entire exchange.

Feyre’s lips parted again, but she stopped herself, a brief hesitation making her breath catch in her throat. She didn’t need to say it.

Nesta could feel the air shift between them. She could already guess what Feyre was about to say, the words that would break through the tension. But Feyre never spoke them. She looked at Taryn, and Nesta saw the subtle shift in her sister’s expression—the way her eyes lingered, how she held her breath for just a heartbeat too long.

Cassian was her… mate.

But Feyre didn’t say it. Instead, she swallowed, the words catching in her throat, unsaid. There was something in the way she looked at Taryn, something vulnerable, something Nesta had never seen before, but she knew what it meant.

She’d been so desperate to fix her, so desperate to save her from herself, but in the process, she’d nearly lost her sister. And the bond that connected them all had never seemed more fragile.

Before Nesta could respond to Feyre, the sharp, biting voice of Amren cut through the tension in the room like a blade.

“Girl, enough,” Amren snapped, her eyes narrowing as she looked at Nesta, unblinking. Her words weren’t soft, weren’t filled with pity—they were a direct hit, aimed straight for the heart of what Nesta had been avoiding. “You were drinking yourself into oblivion, sleeping with anyone who would have you, and pretending you didn’t need help.”

Her voice rang out, biting and clear, and Nesta felt the sting of truth in each syllable. There was no sugarcoating, no softening the harsh reality of what she had become. Amren didn’t flinch, didn’t even soften when she spoke.

“You needed help, Nesta,” Amren continued, her tone cold and direct. “You needed it. And you pushed it away. You pushed them away. You pushed us away.”

Amren’s gaze flicked over to Feyre and then back to Nesta, a touch of disdain in her eyes. “It’s easy to burn everything down and blame everyone else, but the truth is—you needed to face yourself, to face what you’ve done. It’s over now, but don’t pretend like it wasn’t you who kept yourself trapped in the past.”

Her words rang in the heavy silence, and Nesta flinched, the sharpness of them cutting deeper than she expected. There was no warmth in Amren’s reprimand, but there was no question either—Amren wasn’t wrong.

Nesta didn’t know how to respond, her mouth dry, her chest tightening under the weight of everything she’d been avoiding. She had never wanted to hear the truth in such brutal terms, but now that it was out, she couldn’t ignore it. She couldn’t escape it.

The fire inside her seemed to dim, and for the first time in a long while, she felt a sliver of what might be shame creeping in.

Amren didn’t pause, her gaze cold and piercing as she took another step toward Nesta, her words laced with contempt.

“You think you’ve suffered?” Amren sneered, her voice cutting through the room. “You think you’re the only one who’s been broken? The only one who’s been through hell? You have power, Nesta. But what have you done with it?”

Nesta stood frozen, her hands clenched at her sides, every word like a weight being thrown on her chest. She could feel the shame rising in her throat, but Amren wasn’t finished.

“You have power,” Amren continued, her voice harsh, “Yet you’ve done nothing with it. All this time, all this potential, and you’ve squandered it. You’ve locked yourself away, burned everything down around you, and for what? To hide from what you truly are?”

Her words struck like a whip, every sentence aimed to break her further. There was no kindness, no hint of understanding. Just cruelty, plain and simple.

“You haven’t made yourself useful to anyone. Not your sisters, not your people, not anyone.” Amren’s words were as unforgiving as ever. “You could be a force. You could do something, anything—anything—but you’ve chosen to wallow in self-pity instead.”

Nesta’s chest tightened, her breath coming short. She wanted to retort, to push back against the accusations, but a part of her knew Amren was right. Every word cut deep, sharper than anything she could’ve imagined. She had power. She had a gift—and yet, here she was, useless, hiding from it all.

“Is this what you wanted?” Amren’s voice was almost mocking now, as if it were all so obvious to her. “To waste your life like this? To be nothing but a shadow of what you could be? You’ve done nothing but take and take. You think you’re special? You think your suffering makes you exempt from responsibility?”

Nesta felt the heat rise in her chest, the flames within her flickering to life. But she didn’t give in. Instead, she stood, staring at the floor, trying to hold onto whatever shred of composure she had left.

But Amren’s words were relentless. They echoed in her mind like a drumbeat, a reminder of every failure she had ever hidden from.

The worst part—the absolute worst part—was that no one said anything. Not Feyre, who usually couldn’t stand the weight of silence like this. Not Elain, who had peeked her head out from the kitchen, her wide eyes searching the room, but still, she said nothing. They all just stood there, letting Amren tear into her, standing in the quiet of their own guilt, their own discomfort.

It was as if Nesta’s pain, her failure, was something they could all agree on but never speak about aloud—like the invisible thing that hovered between them all but never had a name.

And that was the truth that hit her like a punch to the gut. This was what they all thought of her. Every single one of them. They saw her as broken, as a problem that couldn’t be fixed, as a source of shame.

She felt it then, the weight of their collective judgment. It was suffocating. It pressed against her chest, wrapped around her throat like a vice, and she couldn’t breathe.

Feyre had always tried to be the protector, the one who fixed everything. But she had failed, and in that failure, Nesta had become something ugly to them all. Something that needed to be locked away, something to be handled at arm’s length.

Elain, sweet Elain, who had once shared her pain, now stood in the doorway and said nothing. Nesta could see the pity in her eyes, the distance between them that hadn’t been there before.

And Amren, cold as always, only saw a mess to be cleaned up, a task to be finished, and she didn’t care how she got there, as long as it was done.

There was nothing left but the bitter taste of betrayal—this time, from everyone she had ever trusted.

The silence was so loud, so suffocating, that Nesta thought she might crumble under its weight. It was as if the entire room was pressing down on her, suffocating her with the unspoken truths and judgments that had been building for so long. It felt like a dam had broken inside of her—everything she had held back, all the rage, the hurt, the confusion—flooding to the surface, threatening to drown her.

And then, just as she thought she might implode from the crushing pressure, someone spoke.

It was Taryn.

Taryn, who had been standing quietly beside her, eyes wide and still, like a ghost in the shadows, suddenly broke the silence with her soft voice.

Taryn cocked her head to the side, her eyes sharp as she looked around at the room of people who had let the silence drag on for so long. She let out a breath, the calmness in her tone holding a quiet but cutting weight.

“Wasn’t it Nesta who fought in the war?” Taryn’s words were slow, deliberate, as if she were dissecting the conversation piece by piece, each word aimed to challenge everything they had assumed about her. “Wasn’t it Nesta who helped kill the King of Hybern? Who was on the frontlines with your General, fighting beside him, bloodied and broken? Who helped take care of the wounded soldiers, running back and forth through the battlefield, something even their High Lady didn’t do?”

She paused, letting her words hang in the air, like an accusation they hadn’t expected.

Taryn’s eyes burned with a fierceness that made Nesta’s chest tighten. The tension in the room shifted, and Taryn didn’t hesitate to press further, her voice dripping with biting sarcasm as she cut into them with unflinching precision.

“What have any of you done?” Taryn’s words were like a slap, sharp and unforgiving. “If I remember correctly, your High Lady—” she let the words hang in the air like a challenge, “released two death gods and a monster, the latter of which still somehow managed to disappear, didn’t it?”

She didn’t wait for anyone to respond, her gaze moving over the room like a judge passing sentence.

“And let’s not forget,” Taryn continued, her tone colder now, as her eyes narrowed on Feyre, “your High Lady destroyed Spring. Destroyed it. Sending countless refugees fleeing—many of them even came here, to this city, because of the chaos she caused.”

Rhysand’s voice cut through the air, a low, commanding presence that instantly demanded attention. His gaze was cold, sharp as he met Taryn’s defiant stare.

“You will show respect to your High Lady,” Rhysand said, his tone clipped and controlled, the weight of authority in his words unmistakable. “You are a citizen of this court, and you will follow its laws and respect its leadership.”

His eyes flicked briefly toward Feyre, whose face had paled under the pressure of Taryn’s words, but Rhysand didn’t let the brief hesitation in his High Lady’s gaze sway him. His focus remained squarely on Taryn.

“I understand your frustration,” he went on, his voice now tinged with something darker, “but this—” he gestured to the tension in the room, the growing rift between them all, “is not the way to speak. You may not agree with every decision made, but respect is not optional. You will not undermine her in front of everyone.”

Nesta could feel the tension in the air, the invisible barrier between them as Rhysand’s words hung like a sword above the conversation.

Taryn didn’t flinch, though. She stood tall, unwavering, her gaze steady on Rhysand.

“I don’t need to undermine her, High Lord,” Taryn responded, her voice still laced with defiance. “You both have done that yourselves.”

The room seemed to freeze, the words sinking in, and even Rhysand’s expression shifted, just slightly, as he registered the weight of Taryn’s response. But he said nothing more. He knew better than to engage further. His silence only made the unspoken tension in the room more palpable.

For a moment, it felt as though everything was on the edge of breaking—like the cracks in their foundation were finally too big to ignore.

Taryn turned her gaze sharply toward Amren, her expression shifting into something darkly amused. She let her words hang in the air like a poison, sharp and pointed.

“You know,” Taryn said, her voice low and deliberate, “they whisper about you. The citizens, I mean. They call you the Angel of Death. How you destroyed the rest of Hybern’s armies, how you tore through the battlefield with ease. And now…”

Taryn’s lips curled into a slight smile, her eyes never leaving Amren’s face, watching for the reaction she knew would come. The tension in the room grew as Amren’s expression shifted into something dark, her eyes flashing with a snarl, teeth bared as her temper began to rise.

“Watch your tongue, girl,” Amren hissed, her voice a low, venomous growl, but Taryn didn’t flinch. She didn’t even look remotely intimidated.

“You want to talk about uselessness?” Taryn continued, her smile never faltering. “Look at what you’ve become.”

The room was silent, the only sound the shallow breaths of everyone standing there. No one dared to speak, watching the confrontation unfold. Amren’s eyes were narrowed, fury etched on her face, but Taryn’s words had landed, and there was no taking them back.

As Taryn’s words landed, sharp and unforgiving, Nesta’s instinct was to reach out, to stop her. To tell her to back off, to avoid making things worse. After all, Amren’s fury was a force to be reckoned with, and the room was already thick with tension. But as Nesta’s gaze flickered between the two women, she didn’t move. She didn’t speak.

Taryn—Taryn—was standing up for her, and in a way, it was more than Nesta had ever gotten from any of them. Every word from Taryn, though sharp, felt like a shield. She wasn’t just defending Nesta against Amren’s cruel accusations; she was standing up for everything Nesta had been forced to endure. Everything she had tried so desperately to bury.

For the first time in a long while, Nesta felt like someone saw her—really saw her. Not as a broken, useless thing to be fixed or a problem to be solved, but as a person who had a right to her pain, her struggle, her flaws.

And though the instinct to protect Taryn from Amren’s wrath whispered at the edge of her mind, Nesta knew—knew—that this wasn’t about stopping Taryn.

Taryn was speaking up for her when no one else had the courage. And that, in a twisted way, made it all worth it.

So, Nesta stood there, quiet, still. She let Taryn continue, even as Amren’s fury brewed like a storm about to break. She let the words settle over her, felt them, for the first time, lift something inside of her that had been heavy for too long.

Taryn’s voice was a lifeline, no matter how sharp the edges were. And for that, Nesta couldn’t bring herself to stop her.

Taryn’s gaze hardened as she took a step back, her voice cutting through the thick tension like a blade.

“For the hundreds of years you’ve all been alive,” she said, her eyes sweeping over the room with a sharpness that seemed to pierce each one of them, “everyone knows how you and your inner circle made your way through Velaris. Through the bars and the brothels. Drinking, fucking, living like there were no consequences for your actions.”

Her words hung in the air like a toxic fog, and Taryn’s eyes never wavered as she continued.

“And some of you still do,” she added, her tone dropping lower, heavier. She turned her head slightly, deliberately locking eyes with Morrigan, who had been standing quietly, watching the exchange, her expression unreadable.

The pointed look Taryn gave her wasn’t subtle. Morrigan stiffened, her jaw tightening, and though she didn’t say anything, the weight of the accusation was undeniable.

Taryn’s voice was no longer just sharp—it was loaded with years of bitterness, of watching, of knowing. She had seen it all—the reckless behavior, the ways the High Lord and his inner circle had lived, and the damage they’d caused. And now, it was being thrown in their faces, laid bare for them all to acknowledge.

There was no denying the truth of her words.

Taryn let the silence settle, let them feel the weight of her words before she tilted her head slightly, her expression unreadable.

“But when Nesta did it—” her voice was softer now, laced with something almost mocking, “when she drank, when she fucked, when she tried to drown herself in everything that you all have indulged in for centuries—suddenly, it was different.”

Her gaze swept over them again, daring them to refute her.

“That doesn’t sound right, does it?”

Her words were deceptively light, but the truth behind them was heavy. They all knew it.

Rhysand’s expression darkened, but he said nothing. Feyre’s lips parted as if she wanted to argue, but no words came out. Morrigan’s jaw was clenched tight, her golden eyes flashing with something unreadable.

Taryn gave a small, humorless smile.

“Funny how that works.”

Taryn let out a slow, measured sigh, as if she had finally grown tired of the conversation, of the weight of all these people who thought they had the right to judge. Then she turned to Nesta, her sharpness softening just a fraction.

“Elia will be waiting for us,” Taryn said, her tone casual, as if nothing had happened, as if she hadn’t just carved through them all with nothing but her words. “We should hurry.”

Nesta knew it was a lie. A flimsy, obvious lie. But it was a lie she agreed upon. A lifeline she was willing to take.

So she straightened her spine, lifted her chin, and turned back to face them all—Feyre, Rhysand, Cassian, Azriel, Amren, Elain, Morrigan—every single one of them who had sat in silence, who had judged, who had only spoken when it suited them.

Her voice was steady when she spoke.

“Is someone going to winnow us, or are we walking the ten thousand steps?”

The room was thick with unspoken words, with the weight of everything that had been said. Rhysand’s face was carefully blank, but his displeasure was obvious, his fingers still curled tightly around Feyre’s shoulder, as if willing her to stay silent.

But it was Feyre who answered.

“I’ll winnow you.”

Nesta could hear the guilt in her sister’s voice, the unsteadiness of it. Could see the way her hands tensed at her sides, the way she couldn’t quite meet Nesta’s gaze. And she knew that was the only reason Feyre had spoken first—because guilt had finally sunk its claws into her.

Nesta flicked her eyes to Rhysand, saw the way his jaw clenched, how his lips pressed into a thin, displeased line. He didn’t like it. He didn’t want Feyre to do it. But even he knew that stopping her now, after everything, would only make it worse.

Rhysand’s rage was barely contained, a storm just waiting to break. Nesta could see it in the way his violet eyes darkened, in the way his fingers twitched at his sides, like he was restraining himself from doing something rash. Like he might mist her and Taryn both if Feyre weren’t standing right there.

His power crackled in the air, unseen but felt, pressing against the room like a silent warning. He had always been careful with his control, always prided himself on his restraint—but now, now Nesta could see the cracks in it. Could see how close he was to snapping.

Taryn, to her credit, didn’t so much as flinch under his stare. If anything, she seemed amused by the fury radiating from him. She met his gaze head-on, her chin tilting ever so slightly, as if daring him to act on his rage.

Nesta wasn’t stupid. She knew Rhysand wouldn’t, couldn’t, harm them—not with Feyre standing between them. Not with the eyes of his court watching. But the thought had crossed his mind. She knew it had. And that knowledge sent something cold curling through her spine.

Nesta only smiled, slow and sharp, as if she had seen something she wasn’t supposed to.

“Whenever you’re ready,” she said, looking at Feyre but meaning it for Rhysand.

Feyre stepped forward, jaw tight, and reached for them. And just before the world vanished in shadow, Nesta caught one last glimpse of Rhysand—his hands clenched, his teeth bared ever so slightly.

And, for the first time in a long while, Nesta felt satisfied.

Tag list: @litnerdwrites @viajandopelomar

#anti acosf #anti acotar #anti feysand #anti inner circle #anti rhysand #nesta archeron deserves better #pro nesta #anti azriel #anti cassian #anti amren #anti nessian #anti morrigan #sapphic nesta #more sapphic nesta

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hrizantemy · 1 month ago

Text

The fire crackled warmly in the hearth of the River House as Feyre paced the sitting room, her mind a whirlwind of emotions. The Inner Circle sat scattered across the plush sofas and chairs, their expressions ranging from curious to downright skeptical as she relayed the news. Feyre’s hands twisted together, a nervous habit she hadn’t indulged in for years, but Nesta had that effect on her.

“She accepted?” Amren finally broke the silence, her silver eyes narrowing as she leaned back in her seat, swirling a glass of blood-red wine. “Nesta Archeron, the Queen of Isolation herself, is coming to Solstice?”

Feyre nodded, her lips twitching into a tentative smile. “Not only is she coming, but she asked if she could bring someone.” She hesitated before adding, “I told her yes, of course. I didn’t want to make her feel… unwelcome.”

Rhysand, sprawled lazily in an armchair with an air of casual authority, arched a dark brow. “And you didn’t think to ask who this someone might be?”

Feyre shot him a look. “I was too stunned she said yes at all. I wasn’t about to interrogate her, Rhys.”

Cassian, who had been unusually quiet, sat forward on the couch, resting his elbows on his knees. His hazel eyes glimmered with a mix of hope and trepidation. “She’s bringing someone? Like… a friend? Or…” He trailed off, his jaw tightening.

“Maybe she’s found someone she actually likes,” Mor interjected with a sharp smile, though her tone carried an edge of disbelief. “That would be a Solstice miracle.”

Azriel remained silent, his shadowed gaze flicking between Feyre and Cassian, but his jaw clenched slightly, as if bracing for something unpleasant.

“It doesn’t matter who she’s bringing,” Feyre said, her voice firmer now. “What matters is that she’s coming. She’s choosing to be here. After everything…” Her throat tightened briefly, but she pushed on. “This is a step forward. For all of us.”

Amren snorted softly, setting her glass down with a delicate clink. “Or it’s just Nesta being unpredictable as always. Who knows what her angle is?”

“She doesn’t need an angle,” Feyre snapped, surprising herself with the force of her own words. “She’s my sister. I invited her because I want her here, not because I expect anything from her.”

Rhysand reached out, brushing a calming hand along her arm, his violet eyes softening. “No one is saying otherwise, Feyre. But you can’t deny it’s… unexpected.”

“It’s more than unexpected,” Mor muttered, crossing her legs and leaning back against the cushions. “It’s suspicious.”

Cassian’s gaze darkened, and he turned to Mor, his voice low. “She doesn’t owe us anything, Mor. Least of all your approval.”

An awkward silence fell over the room, and Feyre took a deep breath, centering herself. “Whatever her reasons, she’s coming. And we’re going to welcome her, like family should.” She glanced at each of them, daring them to challenge her. “That includes whoever she chooses to bring.”

The conversation drifted into quieter speculation after that, but Feyre remained by the fire, staring into the flickering flames, trying to suppress the nervous flutter in her chest. Nesta was coming. For the first time in years, her sister was coming back into their orbit—not for an argument, not out of obligation, but because she’d chosen to.

She clung to that sliver of hope like a lifeline, unwilling to let it slip away.

The silence that filled the room after Feyre’s announcement felt heavy, as if each member of the Inner Circle was lost in their own tangled web of thoughts about Nesta. It had been nearly a year since the last Solstice, when everything had come to a head, and the aftermath had left deep, jagged rifts between them all.

Nesta had stormed out that night—her words sharp, her tone colder than the snow that blanketed Velaris. In the weeks that followed, she’d stopped opening the tabs she’d once so freely placed on Rhysand’s account, a quiet but unmistakable declaration of her independence. The refusal had stung Feyre, though she couldn’t quite put into words why. Perhaps it was the finality of it, the way it marked a line between them that Nesta had no interest in crossing again.

“She’s changed,” Feyre said softly, breaking the silence. “You all know it.”

“She stopped drinking herself into oblivion, sure,” Cassian muttered, his voice low, his hazel eyes shadowed. “But it’s not like she kept us in the loop about anything else. She just… left.”

“She distanced herself,” Mor corrected, her voice clipped. “Not that it was a huge loss. She’s barely spoken to any of us since.”

Feyre flinched at the bitterness in Mor’s tone but didn’t argue. Mor wasn’t wrong. After Nesta had left the Inner Circle’s orbit, she hadn’t looked back. Letters had been the only form of communication—and even those had been sparse and stilted, only coming when someone else initiated the conversation. Feyre had written her often, clinging to the hope that Nesta would eventually reply with more than perfunctory sentences. Occasionally, she did. But it wasn’t the same.

“She moved out of that awful apartment,” Feyre said, a tinge of relief in her voice. “She found a job, started to rebuild… on her terms.”

“Good for her,” Amren said dryly, though her gaze flicked toward Cassian, as if gauging his reaction. “But the cost was cutting all of us off. You’d think one of her priorities might have been mending those bridges.”

“It’s not that simple,” Feyre said, her voice sharper now. “You all know how things were before. Nesta didn’t feel welcome. She didn’t feel… wanted.”

“Because she didn’t let anyone in,” Mor snapped. “She shut us out long before we gave up trying.”

“That doesn’t mean we were right to stop,” Feyre shot back.

Cassian stood abruptly, running a hand through his hair. “Enough.” His voice was gruff, strained. “Nesta did what she had to do. Maybe it wasn’t pretty, and maybe it wasn’t what any of us wanted, but she’s alive. She’s trying. And that’s more than most of us can say for her a year ago.”

Feyre’s heart ached at the truth of those words. She remembered the haunted, hollow look in Nesta’s eyes during her lowest moments, the nights Feyre had spent wondering if her sister would simply vanish into the void of her own despair.

Now, though, there was something different. In the rare moments Feyre had seen her, Nesta seemed more at ease, steadier. She no longer carried the same brittle anger like a shield. Still, the distance between them had grown into a chasm, and Feyre didn’t know how to bridge it.

“She’s coming to Solstice,” Feyre said again, more firmly this time. “She’s taking a step toward us. We owe it to her—and to ourselves—to meet her halfway.”

The room fell silent again, but this time it felt less oppressive, as if the weight of Nesta’s absence was finally beginning to lift. Even if it was just a sliver of light breaking through the cracks, Feyre clung to it.

The silence that followed Feyre’s words was as heavy as it was unyielding. No one argued, no one even shifted in their seats. It was the kind of silence that pressed down on Feyre’s chest, filling the room with the unspoken weight of everything left unresolved between Nesta and the Inner Circle.

Elain, ever the peacekeeper, appeared at just the right moment, her soft steps barely making a sound as she entered the sitting room. She carried a tray of cookies, their golden edges gleaming, the faint scent of cinnamon and cloves trailing after her. Her warm, practiced smile faltered as she glanced around the room and noticed the tension.

“Elain,” Feyre started, but before she could say more, there was a sharp, deliberate knock at the door.

The sound cut through the quiet like a blade, startling everyone. Elain froze mid-step, her eyes flicking to Feyre, the tray trembling ever so slightly in her hands.

No one moved at first. They all seemed rooted in place, as if reluctant to acknowledge what the knock meant. Feyre felt her pulse quicken. Nesta had arrived—and early, no less.

“I’ll get it,” Feyre said, her voice firmer than she felt as she stood, smoothing her hands down her sweater.

No one stopped her, though she could feel their eyes on her as she crossed the room. Rhysand leaned back in his chair, his face unreadable, while Cassian stared at the floor, his jaw tight. Azriel’s shadows curled faintly at his shoulders, and Mor crossed her arms, her expression blank but tense. Even Amren tilted her head slightly, as if listening for some hidden truth in the knock.

Feyre opened the door, her breath catching when she saw Nesta standing there. She looked different—not in the obvious ways, but in the subtleties: her posture straighter, her face calm, but without the guarded steel that had once made her seem untouchable.

“Nesta,” Feyre said softly, relief blooming in her chest. Her eyes flicked to the person standing just behind her sister, bundled in a heavy coat with a hood shadowing their face. “And you must be…?”

Nesta stepped inside without answering immediately, her gaze sweeping across the room before settling on Feyre. “Thank you for inviting me.” Her voice was steady, though her fingers tightened around the strap of the bag slung over her shoulder. She turned slightly, gesturing to the figure at her side. “This is Taryn.”

The hooded figure stepped forward and lowered their hood, revealing a sharp-featured, dark-haired woman with piercing eyes. She inclined her head in a polite nod, though her expression was unreadable.

Feyre managed a smile, even as the weight of the room shifted behind her. “Welcome,” she said, stepping aside to let them in.

The room’s tension grew as Nesta and Taryn entered, the warmth of the fire seemingly unable to dispel the chill that followed them. Feyre glanced back at the others, her resolve firm. This was going to work. It had to.

Feyre stepped aside, watching as Nesta and the woman—Taryn—stepped into the house. The warmth of the firelight illuminated them both, and it was then Feyre noticed the bags slung over their shoulders. Nesta’s was a small, simple satchel, while Taryn carried a larger bag that looked heavier.

Her gaze flicked to the bags, curiosity stirring. “Are those…” Feyre hesitated, not sure how to phrase it without sounding too eager. “Are those presents?”

Nesta’s stormy blue eyes met hers, unreadable for a moment. Then, with a small, almost imperceptible nod, she answered, “Yes.”

Feyre’s breath hitched in surprise. Nesta—Nesta, who had barely even attended Solstice last year and had left before the sun had fully set—had brought gifts. Feyre swallowed the lump rising in her throat and tried to smile, though her chest felt tight with emotion.

“Let me take your coats,” she said, her voice soft.

Nesta and Taryn obliged, shrugging out of their heavy winter cloaks and handing them to Feyre. For a moment, Feyre’s hand brushed against Nesta’s, and it struck her how steady her sister felt—no tremble, no hesitation. A quiet strength radiated from her, and Feyre’s heart ached with both pride and longing for the bond they’d once shared.

As Nesta handed her bag to Taryn to carry into the sitting room, Feyre couldn’t stop herself from asking, “Did you pick them out yourself?”

Nesta’s lips twitched, a faint flicker of amusement crossing her face. “Of course I did.”

The answer was so matter-of-fact, so… Nesta, that Feyre couldn’t help the quiet laugh that escaped her. “Well,” she said, stepping back to allow them further inside, “I’m sure everyone will be thrilled.”

From behind her, the room had gone silent again, the Inner Circle still frozen in a mix of shock and discomfort. But Feyre pushed aside the tension and turned to lead the way. For now, she would focus on this small miracle: Nesta was here, and she had brought gifts. Perhaps that meant there was hope after all.

As Feyre turned to lead Nesta and Taryn further into the room, it was Elain who finally broke the silence. Her soft, melodic voice cut through the awkward tension with surprising ease.

“It’s wonderful you came, Nesta,” Elain said, setting down the tray of cookies on the low table in the center of the sitting room. Her warm, genuine smile brightened the room in a way that only Elain could.

Nesta’s gaze flicked to her younger sister, and though her expression didn’t change, Feyre noticed the faintest softening in her sharp features.

Elain’s eyes moved to Taryn, taking in the woman with polite curiosity. “And you even brought a friend,” she added, her tone light and welcoming.

Taryn, standing quietly beside Nesta, inclined her head. “Taryn,” she introduced herself simply, her voice cool but not unfriendly.

Elain’s smile widened, and she gestured toward the chairs by the fire. “It’s lovely to meet you, Taryn. Please, both of you, make yourselves comfortable. I’ll get more tea.”

Nesta gave Elain a small, almost reluctant nod of thanks before stepping further into the room. Taryn followed closely, her movements deliberate and composed, as though she were ready to leave at any moment if the atmosphere soured.

Feyre’s chest tightened as she glanced between them, grateful for Elain’s efforts to ease the tension but painfully aware of how stiff and silent the rest of the Inner Circle remained. It was a fragile moment, one that could shatter with a single wrong word, but Feyre clung to the hope that Elain’s warmth might be enough to hold it together.

Elain paused in the doorway before disappearing to fetch tea, her gentle voice trailing behind her. “It really is wonderful to have you here, Nesta. Both of you.”

For a fleeting second, Feyre thought she saw something flicker in Nesta’s eyes—gratitude, perhaps, or maybe just relief. It was hard to tell, but Feyre held onto that moment like a lifeline. Small steps, she reminded herself. Small steps forward.

Feyre led Nesta and Taryn into the sitting room, the warmth of the fire contrasting sharply with the tension that hung in the air. The silence from the others was deafening, broken only by the crackling of the hearth. Still, Feyre kept her posture steady, determined to ease them into this fragile reunion.

“Here,” Feyre said gently, gesturing to the open space near the large, decorated table where the others had already placed their gifts. Nesta and Taryn followed her lead, setting their bags down with quiet precision.

As they straightened, Feyre’s gaze flicked to Nesta. She looked… different. Better. Healthier. The sharpness in her face had softened, replaced by a glow that hadn’t been there the last time Feyre had seen her. Her cheeks were fuller, her skin had a healthy flush, and her silver-blue eyes were clear, unclouded by the weight she used to carry. Even the way she stood—back straight, shoulders square—spoke of someone who had found stability.

Feyre felt a pang of emotion, a mixture of pride and longing, as she realized how much more beautiful Nesta looked like this. Not just in her appearance, but in the way she carried herself: calm, composed, and whole.

Her gaze shifted to Taryn, and Feyre took a moment to really look at the woman. Taryn was striking, her sharp features framed by dark hair that shimmered in the firelight. Her deep green eyes, cool and assessing, seemed to take in everything around her at once. She exuded a quiet confidence, one that balanced Nesta’s steadiness in an unexpected but complementary way. Feyre couldn’t help but think the two of them made an impressive pair, both polished and self-assured in ways that only added to their beauty.

Nesta and Taryn chose seats at the edge of the circle, slightly removed from the Inner Circle but still within reach. Feyre noticed the way Nesta’s hand lingered on the arm of her chair for a fraction of a second before she sat down, her gaze flicking toward Cassian and then away just as quickly.

Feyre settled herself in a nearby seat, her heart beating faster as she tried to catch Rhysand’s eye, silently willing him to say something to break the quiet. But her mate remained impassive, his violet eyes watchful as he leaned back in his chair.

Nesta folded her hands in her lap, her expression unreadable but calm. Taryn mirrored her, her gaze sweeping across the room, lingering briefly on each face before settling on the fire. Feyre couldn’t help but feel a twinge of nervousness as she realized how starkly Taryn’s composed demeanor contrasted with the awkwardness in the room.

Still, Feyre clung to the image of her sister as she was now—healthy, whole, and undeniably beautiful. Maybe, just maybe, this Solstice would be different.

Feyre perched on the edge of her chair, her fingers curling around the warm mug of tea Elain had handed her moments before. The silence stretched, oppressive and stifling, as everyone seemed content to avoid being the first to speak. Nesta sat still, her back straight and her gaze unwavering as she looked toward the fire, while Taryn leaned back in her chair with an air of quiet observation, her eyes flicking between each member of the Inner Circle.

Clearing her throat softly, Feyre decided to try. Someone had to break the silence. “So,” she began, forcing a smile that felt a little too tight. “How have you been, Nesta?”

Nesta’s gaze flicked to her, cool and composed. “I’ve been well,” she replied evenly, her voice calm but offering no further detail.

“Good, good,” Feyre said, trying to keep her tone light. “You look—healthy. Happy.”

Nesta’s lips twitched, but it wasn’t quite a smile. “Thank you.”

The tension thickened as Feyre searched for something else to say. She glanced at Taryn, hoping to bring her into the conversation. “And you, Taryn? How did you two meet?”

Taryn raised an eyebrow, a faint smile playing on her lips. “We crossed paths in Velaris,” she said simply. Her tone was polite but distant, as if she were carefully choosing her words.

“Oh, that’s nice,” Feyre said quickly, nodding. “Are you from Velaris originally?”

“No,” Taryn replied, and though her voice remained pleasant, there was a finality to it that made it clear she didn’t intend to elaborate.

Feyre felt the weight of everyone’s eyes on her, their silence only amplifying her own discomfort. She glanced toward Elain, who was now quietly rearranging the tray of cookies on the table, clearly avoiding getting involved. Mor crossed her legs, the sound of her heel tapping faintly against the floor the only indication of her impatience.

Cassian’s chair creaked as he shifted, his jaw tight, though he still hadn’t said a word. Azriel’s shadows swirled lazily at his shoulders, his unreadable gaze fixed on the fire. Even Rhysand, who could usually ease any room with a well-placed quip, sat quietly, his violet eyes unreadable.

“Well,” Feyre said, forcing another smile and gesturing vaguely toward the tray of cookies. “Elain baked those herself. They’re—ah, delicious.”

Nesta glanced at the cookies but made no move to take one. “I’m sure they are,” she said evenly, though her tone didn’t quite reach warmth.

Feyre felt the flush rise to her cheeks, the silence stretching again as her attempt at conversation fizzled out. She glanced at Rhys, silently pleading for him to step in, but he merely raised a brow, clearly leaving it to her to navigate this minefield.

She swallowed hard, forcing herself to stay calm. Small steps, she reminded herself. Even if those steps felt more like stumbling in the dark.

Amren, ever the one to speak her mind, eyed Nesta with her usual calculating gaze. The tension in the room thickened as she leaned forward slightly, her sharp voice cutting through the quiet. “Well, well, Nesta,” she said, her tone laced with that usual dryness. “You look… well, you don’t look like you’ve spent your nights in taverns anymore. How interesting.”

Feyre’s heart sank, the words landing like a slap. She braced herself for the usual reaction, but to her surprise, Nesta didn’t flinch. She didn’t even respond. Her face remained calm, her gaze steady, but there was a quiet strength in her silence.

It was Azriel who broke the tension, a soft snort escaping him as he leaned back in his chair, his shadows swirling lazily around him. Feyre blinked in surprise as his lips curled upward in a rare, almost amused expression. It wasn’t often that Azriel openly showed his thoughts on something, but there it was—his appreciation for Nesta’s quiet defiance.

Nesta, for her part, seemed unfazed. She simply continued to sit there, her posture regal and her gaze fixed ahead, as if Amren’s words hadn’t even touched her. Feyre couldn’t help but feel a flicker of pride in her chest at her sister’s unshakable composure.

It was then that Nesta’s eyes flicked to Taryn, and for a fleeting moment, Feyre caught a glimpse of something soft in her sister’s expression. There was an unmistakable look of pride on Nesta’s face as she glanced at the woman beside her—an unspoken recognition that, whatever her past had been, she had something now. Something real.

Taryn’s lips curled slightly at the corner, and though she didn’t speak, the look she exchanged with Nesta said everything. There was a quiet understanding between them, something unspoken, but palpable in the air around them. Feyre watched, still processing Amren’s comment and Azriel’s rare amusement, as Nesta and Taryn settled into the room with a grace that surprised even her.

Amren, sensing that the moment had passed without provoking the reaction she’d hoped for, sat back in her chair, her eyes narrowing slightly. She seemed to begrudgingly accept the shift in the dynamic, her attention drifting away from Nesta to the others, though her earlier comment still hung in the air.

But for the first time in a long while, Feyre didn’t feel the need to fill the silence. Instead, she watched her sister—strong, unbowed, and silently proud—and felt a deep sense of admiration for the woman Nesta had become.

The silence stretched for another few moments before Elain, ever the one to soften the tension, gave a small, polite cough. “Well,” she said, her voice light and a little too bright, “dinner is just about ready.”

Everyone seemed to take that as a cue, rising to their feet as though the movement could dissolve the discomfort that still lingered in the room. Feyre felt a quiet sigh of relief as the group slowly shuffled toward the table, the tension ebbing just slightly, though the undercurrent of awkwardness remained.

Nesta and Taryn, however, were the last to rise. They moved with an easy grace, and Feyre couldn’t help but notice the quiet but deliberate way they settled into their seats. Nesta was all composed elegance, her posture straight as she placed her napkin across her lap with careful precision, while Taryn followed suit beside her. Feyre briefly exchanged a glance with her sisters before joining the others at the table, settling into the seats already taken by Cassian, Rhysand, Azriel, and Amren.

As the dinner began, a soft hum of conversation started among the Inner Circle. It was hesitant at first, filled with polite exchanges and the kind of superficial pleasantries that came with shared history, but it slowly grew more natural. Feyre felt a weight lift from her chest as she tried to relax into the evening, though her eyes kept drifting to Nesta.

Cassian, unusually quiet, kept his gaze trained on his plate more than the conversation at hand, but Feyre caught him looking up several times, his gaze snapping toward Nesta as she spoke with Taryn. She was laughing softly at something Taryn said, her eyes warm, her posture relaxed. The sight of Nesta, at ease and so far removed from the bitter, closed-off woman she’d been, made Feyre’s heart swell with a mixture of pride and sorrow.

The tension that had been there earlier, the weight of the past, seemed to lift as Nesta filled her plate. She ate with a steady, measured grace, occasionally glancing around at the others. Her laughter rang clear when Taryn made a remark about something mundane, her smile radiant and full of life, her earlier silence forgotten. For the first time in a long while, Nesta was enjoying herself, and Feyre couldn’t help but feel a flutter of hope.

As Feyre continued to watch, her gaze flickered back to Cassian. He had his jaw clenched, but she could see the way his eyes lingered on Nesta—sometimes soft, sometimes intense. It was hard to miss the way his stare seemed to follow her every movement, but Nesta remained absorbed in conversation with Taryn, unaware of the attention.

Feyre’s heart twisted slightly at the sight. She knew what Cassian’s feelings for Nesta had been, and maybe still were. But Nesta… Nesta was a different person now. Stronger, freer. Feyre couldn’t help but wonder if the quiet longing in Cassian’s eyes would ever fade, or if it was something that would always linger between them, even in moments like this, where the distance between them seemed insurmountable.

As the meal continued, conversation flowed more easily, but beneath the surface, there was a quiet undercurrent of curiosity. Feyre could feel it, though no one spoke it aloud. All of them were watching, their eyes flicking between Nesta and Taryn, as they shared glances, smiles, and occasional whispered jokes. There was something undeniably close between the two women, an intimacy that spoke volumes without a word being said.

It was Cassian who seemed the most restrained, his silence betraying the thoughts he was no doubt keeping to himself. His gaze occasionally shifted to Nesta, then to Taryn, but it was hard to read his expression, his usual confident demeanor replaced with something more guarded. Amren, always quick to pick up on things, narrowed her eyes, but she didn’t comment. Instead, her attention seemed to shift between Nesta and Taryn, as though she was piecing together her own theories.

Rhysand kept his usual smile in place, but Feyre could see the flicker of curiosity behind his eyes. It was there, hidden beneath layers of casual conversation—everyone was silently guessing. Was it something new? A fleeting connection? Or was there more to their relationship than they could see at a glance?

But Feyre couldn’t shake the surprise that lingered in the back of her mind. She had always known Nesta to be… well, Nesta. She had never shown much interest in romantic relationships, not in the way Feyre had, and certainly not in women. Feyre had always chalked it up to her sister’s trauma, her walls so high that she never seemed to let anyone in. So when she saw the way Nesta and Taryn interacted, the small, shared glances and the subtle, tender touches, it was both startling and fascinating.

She had never imagined Nesta in that light—at least, not with another woman. She couldn’t help but feel a small spark of curiosity flicker in her chest. How long had this been going on? When had it started? And more than that, Feyre realized she had never once asked her sister about her heart—what she wanted or who she cared for. She had been so focused on Nesta’s bitterness and the distance between them, she had never taken the time to think beyond the surface, to ask what truly mattered to Nesta.

There was a fleeting moment, as Nesta laughed softly at something Taryn said, that Feyre caught a glimpse of something more than just friendship in their connection. The warmth, the comfort, the quiet joy that seemed to radiate from the two of them—it was unmistakable.

Feyre’s mind raced with questions she had never thought to ask, but in the same breath, she didn’t want to pry. Nesta had always been fiercely independent, and Feyre had learned the hard way that pushing too hard could create distance. But seeing her sister so happy, so at ease in Taryn’s presence, made Feyre wonder if maybe there was something she had missed.

She turned her attention back to her plate, trying to focus on the food in front of her, but her thoughts kept drifting back to Nesta and Taryn. She was surprised, yes, but she couldn’t deny that she felt a strange sense of relief. It was good, wasn’t it? To see Nesta with someone who seemed to make her feel at home.

The moment stretched on, the air thick with curiosity and silent observation, when suddenly, Morrigan’s voice broke through the quiet, sharp and cutting as always. Her eyes, glinting with mischief—or perhaps something more—settled on Nesta as she leaned slightly forward in her chair.

“So,” Morrigan said, her tone casual but laced with an undercurrent of something Feyre couldn’t quite place. “How long has this been going on between you two?”

It wasn’t an innocent question. The way Morrigan phrased it, with that familiar edge in her voice, made it clear it was meant as a jab—a test. Feyre’s heart stuttered as she glanced at her sister, expecting a reaction, waiting for something, anything, to break the carefully constructed calm.

Nesta didn’t flinch, though, her expression a picture of composed indifference. But Feyre could see the subtle shift in her posture—a tightening of her shoulders, the slight narrowing of her eyes. Nesta’s fingers gripped the edge of her plate just a little tighter. Taryn, who had been casually leaning toward Nesta, faltered, her smile dropping for a brief moment, but she quickly recovered, her own gaze hardening.

Feyre’s chest tightened as the silence stretched, heavy and charged. It was clear Morrigan’s question had hit its mark. It wasn’t just an innocent inquiry; it was a challenge, one that was meant to make Nesta squirm, to put her on the spot in front of everyone.

Azriel, seated across from Nesta, let out a soft, almost imperceptible breath—one that Feyre recognized as his way of showing his disapproval. Cassian, on the other hand, stiffened, his jaw tightening, but he said nothing. It was clear that this was a familiar dynamic, one that Morrigan often employed to get a rise out of people.

But Nesta’s response was nothing short of a revelation. With the same quiet confidence she’d shown earlier, she turned to Morrigan, her eyes icy and unfazed. “I don’t see how that’s any of your business.”

The words were soft, but they carried weight. There was no anger in her tone, no sharpness—just a calm, deliberate dismissal of Morrigan’s jibe. Feyre could almost feel the ripple of tension that passed through the room at her sister’s response.

Morrigan, momentarily stunned by Nesta’s unflinching composure, blinked, but her lips curled into a thin smile, her gaze flicking between Nesta and Taryn. “Of course,” she said, almost mockingly, her voice still laced with the same biting humor. “I suppose it’s not my place to know.”

But it was clear to everyone that the barb had been thrown, and while Morrigan tried to brush it off, the atmosphere had shifted again—this time, away from curiosity and into something more uncomfortable. Feyre felt a slight burn of anger for her sister, for the way Morrigan had tried to undermine her so casually, but she couldn’t help but admire the way Nesta had held her ground.

The rest of the table seemed to sense it too. A few exchanged glances—some sympathetic, some cautious—but the tension didn’t break entirely. Morrigan, for all her wit and sharpness, had not expected Nesta to be so resolute, so untouchable.

Rhysand, who had been silently watching the exchange with a practiced calm, finally spoke up, his voice smooth and warm. He glanced at Nesta, his usual charismatic smile playing at the corners of his lips.

“It’s good to have you here, Nesta,” he said, his tone light but sincere. “Either way, it’s been… too quiet without you around.”

There was a pause, and then he added, more softly, “I know Feyre and Elain have missed having you here. You may not have seen it, but it’s true.”

Feyre’s heart stirred at his words, a small flicker of guilt flashing through her. She hadn’t realized how much her absence had weighed on the family until now—until Rhysand so easily voiced what had been left unsaid for so long.

Nesta didn’t respond immediately, but when she did, she raised an eyebrow in that way she always did when she was about to make a point. Her lips curled into a faint, knowing smile.

“Well,” she said, her voice steady, “I’ve invited both Feyre and Elain out to restaurants and taverns a few times. But it’s not like they ever accepted.”

There was no malice in her words, only a cool, unbothered truth that hung in the air. Feyre’s eyes widened, the surprise evident on her face, while Elain’s cheeks flushed a shade of pink that made Feyre feel the heat of embarrassment on her own face.

Feyre had never known—had never considered—that Nesta had tried to reach out like that. She thought back to the years of strained silence between them, to the countless nights Nesta had spent behind closed doors, away from the family.

But now, Nesta had put herself out there, offering something she hadn’t before, and Feyre had never even known. The realization stung more than Feyre had expected, but it also made her feel a tiny flicker of hope. Perhaps this was the beginning of something—something that would bring them all closer.

Feyre opened her mouth, but before she could say anything, Nesta continued, her voice steady and unapologetic.

“I don’t do this often, you know,” she added, her gaze flickering between the three of them. “It’s not my style to chase people. But you all kept saying you wanted me around, so I thought I’d make an effort.”

Feyre was silent for a moment, unsure how to respond. She hadn’t realized how much effort it had taken for Nesta to come back, to reconnect. Nesta had always been the one to keep everyone at arm’s length, and yet here she was, still trying.

“Thank you,” Feyre said softly, her voice filled with an emotion she hadn’t expected. “I’m glad you did.”

Nesta’s expression softened for just a moment, but it was gone as quickly as it had appeared. She gave a small shrug, as though the acknowledgment didn’t mean much to her, but to Feyre, it was everything.

Nesta sighed softly to herself, the weight of the evening settling deeper into her chest. She had been trying to navigate this new territory with her family, trying to find the right balance between distance and connection, but it was more difficult than she had imagined. She could feel the stares—casual, curious, like they were all waiting for something to happen.

Feyre, always the one to sense when things were off, cleared her throat and smiled brightly. “How about we have dessert while we open presents?” she suggested, her tone light, trying to shift the mood. “It’ll be fun.”

The others seemed eager for the distraction, nodding in agreement as they moved away from the dinner table and toward the living area where the presents were gathered. The air, though, still hung heavy with the unspoken, as if everyone was quietly waiting for the moment to pass.

Feyre picked up the first present, holding it carefully as she read the name on the tag. Her brow furrowed for a moment, and then she looked up with a small, surprised smile. “This one’s from Nesta,” she said, her voice soft but clear, holding the gift out as she looked around. The silence stretched for a beat, the atmosphere thick with an odd tension.

Nesta met her gaze, a flicker of something unreadable passing across her features. She was sitting back a little, arms folded loosely across her chest, watching the scene unfold without offering much of a reaction.

Feyre carefully untied the ribbon, peeling back the paper, and inside was a set of paintbrushes and oils. The wooden box was elegant in its simplicity, polished to a smooth finish. The paints looked high-quality, and the brushes—sleek and professional—spoke volumes about Nesta’s taste. Feyre’s heart skipped a beat as she realized what the gift meant. She hadn’t expected something so thoughtful.

“I—” Feyre paused, a lump forming in her throat. “Thank you,” she said, her voice unsteady, but genuine. The room seemed to hold its breath as Nesta nodded, watching her closely.

The rest of the Inner Circle looked between each other, their gazes shifting from Nesta to Feyre, but no one spoke right away. It wasn’t the gift that made them hesitant, it was the quiet undercurrent of something else—the words that went unspoken between them, the history that still hung in the air. But Nesta didn’t seem bothered by the silence; she simply sat back, looking more relaxed than she had in a long time, her attention now drifting toward Taryn, who was seated beside her.

The tension in the room remained thick, and the presents continued to be passed around, but it wasn’t lost on Feyre how everyone was exchanging small, tentative glances. It was clear that there was still much to navigate, much to rebuild, but this moment—this simple, thoughtful gift—felt like a bridge. Something solid in the midst of all the uncertainty.

Feyre opened the next gift, the room shifting with small, awkward comments and light-hearted jabs as everyone tried to break the silence. But for Feyre, as she gently ran her fingers over the brush handles, a quiet thought lingered in her mind: maybe things weren’t as broken as they seemed. Maybe this, however uncomfortable, was still progress.

As the presents continued to circulate, Feyre couldn’t help but feel the tension in the air, a soft, lingering undercurrent of discomfort. She was watching her family, taking in the moments of awkwardness, the careful smiles, and the small exchanges, when Cassian and Morrigan suddenly swapped gifts. Feyre’s eyes widened as Morrigan unwrapped a set of elegant, dark lace lingerie, holding it up with a smirk that said everything about the playful jab she’d likely intended. Cassian, in turn, was holding up a similarly risqué gift—soft, red silk underwear that made even Feyre blush a little.

She had expected the moment to be awkward, maybe even uncomfortable, but as she glanced over at Nesta and Taryn, sitting beside one another, she was surprised to see them smiling softly at each other. It wasn’t a fleeting glance, either—there was a warmth between them, a quiet understanding that Feyre hadn’t seen in Nesta before.

Taryn leaned in slightly toward Nesta, her lips brushing her ear as she whispered something too soft for anyone else to hear. Nesta’s eyes widened for a split second, then softened, and to Feyre’s complete surprise, she giggled. A full, unguarded laugh—something Feyre hadn’t heard from her sister in a long time, something that made her heart flutter with the unfamiliar joy of seeing Nesta so at ease.

It was a sound that didn’t fit with the version of Nesta Feyre had grown used to. The older sister who had kept so much inside, the one who rarely allowed herself to be vulnerable, much less to show any outward softness. Nesta’s laugh seemed to cut through the room’s awkwardness, drawing a few curious glances from the others as they tried to figure out what had made her so lighthearted.

Feyre blinked, unsure of what to make of it. She glanced quickly at Taryn, who had a small, knowing smile on her lips, as if pleased by the effect she’d had on Nesta. But it wasn’t just the laugh that caught Feyre off guard—it was the connection between the two women, something new and subtle that Feyre hadn’t expected to see.

She quickly turned her gaze away, pretending to focus on the next gift being opened, but she couldn’t stop the lingering thoughts that followed her. Could it be that Nesta was truly finding herself in this new chapter?

As Feyre watched Nesta and Taryn, something shifted in her chest, an unexpected sadness that wasn’t entirely about Feyre herself, but about the years that had slipped away, the things left unsaid, and the distance that had quietly built between them. Seeing Nesta laugh, something so genuine and full of life, reminded Feyre of the parts of her sister she had longed to see emerge again, but hadn’t. It made her realize how much time had passed without them truly connecting, without really knowing who Nesta had become during all those long months of silence.

It wasn’t that Feyre was angry or resentful about the way Nesta had distanced herself, or about the woman who had clearly made her so happy. No, it wasn’t Taryn who caused the sadness, nor was it about the complicated emotions that came with watching someone you loved grow into something you hadn’t anticipated. Feyre was happy for Nesta, truly, in a way that surprised her. She was glad her sister had found a space where she could laugh freely, where she could be something more than the woman who had been crushed by grief and trauma.

But Feyre couldn’t ignore the deep ache in her chest as she watched. How had she let it go so long without truly seeing her sister, without trying harder to understand her? Nesta had changed, she had grown, and Feyre felt as if she had been standing at the edge, waiting for her sister to come back—but Nesta had already found herself elsewhere. It hurt, in a way that Feyre didn’t know how to articulate.

Her smile, though warm, was tinged with something more bittersweet now. As Nesta and Taryn exchanged whispers, as they shared something that felt so uniquely theirs, Feyre realized she was no longer the person her sister turned to for comfort. It was Taryn, not her. And for all the love she had for Nesta, for all the good intentions she had in trying to bring her back, Feyre felt the quiet sting of being left behind.

This wasn’t something Feyre blamed anyone for—least of all Nesta. It was just a quiet realization of how much time had passed, how much had shifted, and how those changes were irreversible. She had always thought they would grow together, in their own ways, but that hope had begun to feel more distant. Feyre sighed softly, quickly pushing the emotion down, not wanting to let it steal the joy of the evening.

Elain cleared her throat, breaking the soft silence that had fallen over the room. Her eyes darted to the pile of presents before her, and she carefully picked up one that seemed different from the others. It wasn’t a box, but a carefully wrapped bundle, and she held it out toward Nesta, her hands slightly trembling as if unsure of the reaction she’d receive.

“Here, Nesta,” Elain said, her voice a little quieter than usual, but warm, full of hope.

Feyre watched, her heart tightening as Elain offered the gift. It was a book set, wrapped in delicate paper with a satin ribbon, the kind of gift that showed thoughtfulness. Elain had always been the one who poured herself into nurturing those around her, even when it came to Nesta, despite the distance that had grown between them. Feyre could see how much Elain was hoping for a good reaction—how much she wanted to rebuild that connection with Nesta, even if it was just through something small like this.

For a moment, there was a stillness in the room, everyone waiting, perhaps holding their breath to see how Nesta would respond. And then, slowly, Nesta took the gift from Elain’s hands. She smiled faintly, her eyes scanning the wrapping before she carefully set it down to untie the ribbon.

When she finally unwrapped it, Nesta’s eyes flickered over the book set—classic novels, well-loved and already known to her, perhaps something Elain had thought she’d enjoy. But Nesta didn’t seem surprised. She didn’t seem disappointed either, though there was a moment’s pause before she looked back at Elain.

“I already have this,” Nesta said, her tone soft but steady. “But thank you, Elain.”

Nesta’s smile lingered, something faintly warm in her eyes as she looked at Elain. “I appreciate it,” she said quietly, her voice softer than usual, her words more sincere than Feyre had heard in a long while.

As the conversation moved on, Feyre felt a sudden weight settle in her chest. She glanced over at the pile of presents, and her gaze drifted to Nesta. Elain’s gift had been the only one for her, the only thing that had been offered to Nesta. The realization hit Feyre like a cold wave—she hadn’t gotten Nesta anything. She hadn’t even thought to, caught up in everything else, in the tension of the evening, in the strange, quiet joy of having her sister back in their lives.

The sting of guilt gnawed at her, because she should have thought of something. She should have found something personal, something meaningful to give to Nesta, especially after everything they had been through. But no, Elain was the only one who had considered it.

Feyre glanced down at her own hands, feeling suddenly empty and unprepared. How had she missed it? Had she truly been so focused on the idea of Nesta returning, on making things right between them, that she had forgotten the simple act of giving? She should have gotten something for Nesta, something that showed she remembered, that she cared. Something that wasn’t just a grand gesture or a fleeting hope but something small and thoughtful.

Her heart squeezed in her chest as she looked at Nesta. She could see the way her sister was holding herself, the careful way she smiled, even as she tried to mask any discomfort. Nesta hadn’t expected anything. Feyre had assumed that Nesta wouldn’t care, that she would be indifferent to the gifts or the evening, but that wasn’t true. Nesta had accepted the invitation. She had come. She had brought someone with her. And here was Feyre, not even having thought to give her something—anything—to mark the occasion, to show that she still cared, even after everything.

For the briefest moment, Feyre felt her face flush with embarrassment. She was the one who had wanted this night to go well, to have her family together again, but now it felt like she had failed Nesta in the smallest, most basic way.

She looked over at Elain, who was still smiling, still holding onto that soft relief, as if her gift had been the bridge between them. Feyre felt the weight of her failure in the silence that followed. No one had commented on the fact that Elain’s gift was the only one, but Feyre knew. She knew, and it stung more than she could explain.

Her gaze flickered over to the pile of presents once more, and her stomach dropped as the pieces slowly clicked together.

They had all received gifts from Nesta. Each one of them.

Cassian had his new set of armor polish, perfectly chosen for the items he’d always used to maintain his gear. Mor had a sleek, beautifully crafted dagger—one that Feyre knew would be the perfect match for her. Even Azriel had a dark cloak, lined with silver threads that shimmered faintly under the light, a gift she knew Azriel would never admit to appreciating but would wear nonetheless.

And yet, Feyre hadn’t reciprocated. She hadn’t thought to give Nesta anything, while Nesta had clearly put effort into their gifts, had thought about each of them, chosen something personal.

Feyre opened her mouth to speak, to try and bridge the awkward silence that seemed to have settled again, when Taryn unexpectedly reached for an envelope tucked inside her bag. She handed it over to Nesta with a soft, knowing smile, and Nesta took it, her fingers lingering on the edges of the paper for just a second longer than necessary.

Feyre watched as Nesta carefully opened the envelope, her brow furrowing slightly as she pulled out a pair of tickets. The moment her eyes scanned them, they widened in shock, her voice barely a whisper as she read the name aloud. “The ballet?”

Taryn nodded, her smile warm, and Feyre caught a glimmer of something—pride, maybe—beneath her calm exterior.

Nesta, still holding the tickets in her hands, blinked in disbelief. “But they sold out months ago,” she said, shaking her head in amazement. “I—I didn’t think there was any way to get in. How… how did you manage this?”

Taryn’s smile softened even more, and Feyre could see the connection between them, an ease that was new, and yet, not so new after all. Taryn had a way of making Nesta look like she was finally settling into something she hadn’t quite realized she was missing—something that wasn’t just companionship but a deeper understanding, a way of making the world feel just a little more expansive for Nesta.

“I have my ways,” Taryn replied simply, a wink accompanying her words.

For a moment, Nesta was speechless, the tickets held so tightly in her hands that Feyre thought they might tear. But then Nesta’s lips curled into a genuine, wide smile—the kind Feyre hadn’t seen on her sister’s face in years. It was a look of pure, unguarded joy, a moment of surprise and gratitude.

“Thank you,” Nesta said softly, her voice almost cracking. Feyre had to swallow down the tightness in her own throat as she watched her sister. That small, simple act of kindness from Taryn—something Feyre hadn’t seen in their family for so long—seemed to break something open in Nesta.

Taryn gave a soft shrug, as if to say it was nothing, but Feyre couldn’t help but notice the way Nesta’s expression shifted, how her posture softened just slightly. The tension that had clung to her earlier seemed to ease just a little, like a small crack in the armor she wore so tightly around herself.

She hadn’t realized just how much it must have hurt—how much it must have meant to Nesta—that this was a piece of her past, a part of herself, that she had quietly kept hidden. Feyre remembered the long-ago days when Nesta had danced, her movements graceful, her face full of joy. But those memories had faded, overshadowed by everything that had happened since.

And now, seeing Nesta hold those tickets, the spark of something old and forgotten in her eyes, Feyre couldn’t help but wonder how long it had been since her sister had allowed herself something purely for her own enjoyment. Something that wasn’t just about surviving the weight of the world.

It hit Feyre with a sharp clarity—when Nesta had said she’d frequented the taverns, not for the men or the drinks, but for the music, they’d all thought she was lying. They had assumed it was just another excuse, another way for her to hide, to make her actions seem less painful or desperate. But Feyre realized now how wrong they’d been, how little they had truly understood. Nesta hadn’t been lying. She had been searching for something beautiful, something that resonated with her heart—the music, the rhythm, the feeling of moving to a beat that wasn’t born of their cruel, tumultuous world.

The guilt gnawed at Feyre. They had brushed it off as just another thing Nesta claimed, another part of her that seemed too difficult to believe. But it wasn’t. Nesta had always loved dancing, always had a soul that craved something more than the darkness of the taverns. Feyre had dismissed it, had dismissed her, not even bothering to see the layers that had made Nesta who she was, the complexities that lay beneath the surface.

Now, as she watched Nesta sit with Taryn, the gift of the ballet tickets between them, Feyre couldn’t help but wonder how much of Nesta’s soul had been buried in the years she spent trying to survive—how much of it she had given up to the harshness of their world, to the expectations and the hurt. Feyre had never asked her about the music. She had never asked Nesta to tell her what she had really been seeking when she wandered into those taverns.

And now, Feyre had to confront the reality that they had failed to see it, failed to see Nesta’s pain and the things she longed for, things that didn’t involve anyone else but her.

Her heart clenched painfully, and she couldn’t shake the thought that she, too, had been a part of that failure. They had all let Nesta be alone in her struggle, thinking her needs and desires were just more of her façade. They hadn’t even considered that she might be trying to reclaim a part of herself, trying to find something to hold on to that wasn’t all wrapped up in the past they had shared. It was only now, watching her with Taryn, that Feyre could see the weight of her sister’s quiet longing.

The sudden awareness of this made Feyre feel smaller, more guilty. She had thought that Nesta was lost, that the anger and the bitterness she displayed were all that was left. But Nesta had always been more than that. She had always been more than the broken pieces they had ignored for so long.

As the present exchange began to wind down, Feyre thought the tension might finally start to lift. She watched as the last few gifts were passed around, each one drawing out more smiles, more laughter, a moment of connection that hadn’t been there before. But then, Cassian stood, that teasing grin of his slowly spreading across his face as he held up a small, delicate box in front of Nesta.

“This one,” Cassian said with a playful tone, “is for you as well.”

Nesta’s eyes flicked to the box, her brow furrowing slightly, but she didn’t say anything. Feyre noticed the way her sister’s posture stiffened, a subtle shift that didn’t go unnoticed. Cassian, ever the opportunist, didn’t seem to care as he leaned in slightly, his voice dropping into a mockingly sweet tone.

“Open it, sweetheart,” he teased.

For a second, it felt like the entire room froze. Nesta’s face, usually so controlled, shifted ever so slightly—an uncomfortable twinge in her features, a small narrowing of her eyes that Feyre recognized all too well. She didn’t want to take the box, but she did, her fingers grasping it with hesitant care. The room waited in almost a silence as Nesta slowly opened the small lid.

Feyre could feel her heart thud in her chest, and for the first time, she understood that something was off. The joy, the warmth that had started to blanket the evening, vanished in an instant. Nesta’s eyes dropped to the contents of the box, and when she saw the ring inside, the air around them seemed to thickest.

The room was silent. Feyre’s throat tightened as she realized what was in the box—a simple, silver ring. But not just any ring. It was the same one Cassian had tried to give Nesta the last Solstice. The same ring she had rejected with a sharpness that had left Cassian wounded and the rest of them uncomfortable. Feyre had known it was a painful memory for both of them, but seeing it again now, in the present, felt somehow worse than it had before. It was a ghost of their past, a reminder of the rift between them.

Nesta’s face was unreadable, but Feyre could see the flicker of something—maybe confusion, maybe dread—in her sister’s eyes. It was clear Nesta hadn’t expected this. It was clear she hadn’t wanted this. She took the ring from the box slowly, her fingers brushing over the smooth metal as she exhaled quietly, but her lips were pressed tightly together.

Cassian stood, grinning like the fool he was, his eyes glinting with that mischievous gleam he usually wore. “What’s the matter, Nesta? Not even a thank you?” He raised an eyebrow, clearly testing the waters, his voice lighthearted but carrying a hint of challenge.

Feyre couldn’t help the surge of discomfort that rushed through her. She wanted to say something, to stop Cassian before he made it worse, but she found herself frozen in place. She had been so focused on the fragile balance of the evening, on how much progress Nesta had made in such a short time, that she hadn’t anticipated this moment—this reminder of the tension that still lingered beneath the surface between her sister and Cassian.

Nesta, to everyone’s surprise, didn’t respond immediately. She looked at the ring in her hand, a flicker of something crossing her face, and then she slowly, carefully, set it back in the box. She closed the lid with deliberate slowness, her gaze lifting to Cassian’s with a quiet intensity. For a moment, the room felt as though it was holding its breath.

“No, thank you,” Nesta said softly, her voice steady but firm. “But this isn’t something I need. Not now.”

Cassian’s grin faltered, the teasing edge gone. Feyre could see the frustration building behind his eyes, but he didn’t push. Instead, he gave a small, resigned shrug, as though he was used to this—used to the unspoken rejection that hung between them like an invisible thread.

Taryn, still sitting beside Nesta, placed a gentle hand on her arm, an unspoken show of support, and Nesta looked at her, offering a small, almost imperceptible smile in return.

Feyre couldn’t quite pinpoint what it was, but something about the moment made her chest tighten with sorrow. It was as if, despite all the progress, the chasm between Nesta and Cassian still remained. And it wasn’t just a matter of pride or refusal. It was something deeper—something neither of them had fully reckoned with.

Cassian’s face darkened as Nesta handed the ring back with such finality. The playful grin he had worn moments earlier disappeared, replaced by a look of quiet hurt, the kind that only those close to him could read. He stared at the box, his fingers flexing, as if he were trying to force the weight of the situation into something lighter, but it wasn’t working. His chest rose and fell with a deep breath, but there was no hiding the hurt that lingered behind his eyes. He quickly tried to mask it with a shrug, but it was clear that Nesta’s rejection had cut deeper than he had let on.

Morrigan, ever the one to speak her mind, let out a sharp scoff. She leaned back in her chair, her arms folding over her chest as she gave a pointed look toward Nesta. “Well, that was just charming,” she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “Could’ve at least been polite about it, don’t you think?”

Feyre’s heart sank. She had hoped the evening might stay civil, that they could all enjoy the rare peace they had with Nesta’s return. But Morrigan’s comment tore through the fragile air of the gathering, cutting it like a knife. Feyre glanced at Nesta, who didn’t flinch at the jab, but instead, her eyes hardened—sharp, unwavering. It was clear that Morrigan’s words meant nothing to her now.

Nesta remained silent, her jaw tightening, but her gaze never wavered from Morrigan. There was no anger in her eyes—only a steady resolve, as if she had long since stopped caring about what people thought of her. Cassian, still standing, looked away quickly, clearly not wanting anyone to see the rawness in his expression.

Morrigan, of course, didn’t care. She tilted her head slightly, studying the tension in the room like it was an entertaining spectacle. “I just don’t get it,” Morrigan continued, her voice dripping with condescension. “What’s the point of playing hard to get if you aren’t even willing to try? Doesn’t seem like you’re putting in much effort, Nesta.”

Nesta’s glare cut through the room like a blade, her icy stare locking onto Morrigan as the words fell from her lips. There was no hint of hesitation, no softness in her tone—just the cold, biting clarity that always seemed to come when Nesta was pushed to her limit. “Do I really need to spell it out for you?” she said, her voice calm but dangerous, each word deliberate. “I’m in a relationship. A real one. And I don’t owe anyone, least of all Cassian, anything. I don’t need to return his feelings just because he’s decided that I should.”

The silence in the room thickened as Nesta’s words hung in the air, but Morrigan, ever the provocateur, wasn’t about to back down. She leaned forward, her gaze sharp and unapologetic. “He’s your mate, Nesta,” Morrigan said, her voice dripping with something Feyre couldn’t quite place—whether it was disdain or just sheer annoyance at being defied. “You can’t just dismiss that. You don’t get to throw away a bond like that.”

Cassian’s expression twisted, and for a moment, Feyre thought she saw a flash of something—resentment, hurt, maybe even shame—as he looked between Morrigan and Nesta. But it was quickly replaced by a blankness, as if he had shut himself off from the conversation entirely.

Nesta didn’t flinch at Morrigan’s words. If anything, the corner of her lips twitched ever so slightly, almost as though she were amused by Morrigan’s inability to grasp what she had said. “Maybe I don’t want to be defined by that bond, Morrigan,” Nesta replied, her voice low but firm. “Maybe I don’t want to be tied to someone just because fate decided it for me. You think that’s easy? That it’s something I just want to accept and move on with?”

The tension in the room crackled like a storm, and Feyre could feel her heart pounding in her chest. She didn’t want to intervene, but she also knew that whatever was happening between Nesta and Morrigan had to be addressed—before it turned into something that would break apart what little progress they had made.

Morrigan narrowed her eyes, clearly unfazed by Nesta’s words. “That’s your choice, I suppose,” she said, her tone laced with something Feyre couldn’t quite place—frustration, maybe, or disbelief. “But you’re not going to convince anyone here that what you’re doing is right, Nesta. Especially when he’s your mate.”

For the first time, Feyre noticed the look in Cassian’s eyes—a mixture of hurt and something else that was harder to define. It was the look of a man who had been told, once again, that he wasn’t enough, despite the bond that should have connected them. Despite everything he had done, everything he had tried.

Nesta’s expression softened for a fraction of a second, but it was quickly replaced by the same implacable distance that had become her armor. She didn’t look at Cassian; her gaze was focused solely on Morrigan as she delivered the final blow. “You can think whatever you want, Morrigan,” Nesta said, the edge of finality in her voice unmistakable.

Feyre, feeling the weight of the moment, quickly pushed herself to her feet, her voice trembling slightly as she tried to interject. “Please, can we just—” she began, but Nesta stood before her, cutting her off with the sharpness of a blade.

“I think we’ve overstayed our welcome,” Nesta said, her voice flat and resolute, with no hint of the warmth that had been there when they’d first sat down. She didn’t look at anyone else, her gaze fixed straight ahead, as though she had made up her mind the moment Morrigan’s words hit her ears. “Taryn and I are leaving.”

The room was frozen in place for a moment, everyone watching as Nesta turned away without waiting for any further response. Taryn followed quietly behind her, picking up her bag, her expression unreadable. Feyre’s heart sank as she watched them both move towards the door. It had all unraveled so quickly.

Feyre, unable to stop herself, moved to follow. She felt a desperate need to fix things, to somehow make everything right, but she knew, deep down, that the damage was already done. “Nesta, please,” Feyre called softly as she reached her. “I’m sorry. Morrigan—she didn’t mean to make it worse, but she didn’t understand. I know, Cassian is your mate, and we all respect your choice, truly. But isn’t this something we should… maybe talk about? Please?”

Nesta stopped, turning to face Feyre, her expression still unreadable, though there was a glimmer of something behind her eyes—something Feyre couldn’t quite decipher. For a moment, they simply stood there, the weight of Feyre’s words hanging in the air between them. Nesta was silent for a long time, and when she finally spoke, her words cut through the tension like a cold wind.

“Is Elain talking to Lucien while flirting with Azriel?” Nesta asked, her voice low, but the challenge in it clear. Her eyes flicked over to Elain, who was still at the table, looking as surprised as anyone else. The comment was so pointed, so unexpected, that Feyre froze for a moment, unsure how to respond.

Feyre’s face flushed hot with a sudden rush of embarrassment. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest, and she glanced over at Elain, who was equally flustered, her cheeks pink with the unmistakable hint of a blush. It was so obvious now—Elain’s soft laughter, her teasing looks at Azriel, and the way she seemed to be drawn to him more and more lately. Feyre couldn’t help the sudden, awkward shift in her own expression as she shot a quick look at Azriel, who had gone entirely still, his gaze focused on nothing in particular.

“Oh,” Feyre stammered, her face now burning. “I—well, that’s not exactly—” She trailed off, unsure of what to say. There was no denying it now. “I mean, she’s not… It’s not like that,” she finally managed, but even as the words left her mouth, she knew how it sounded—like she was trying to cover something up.

Nesta’s lips quirked into a half-smile, though it was more bemusement than anything else. “You don’t have to lie, Feyre,” she said quietly, a note of something almost sympathetic in her tone. “It’s obvious.”

Feyre felt her stomach twist. She had always been so attuned to the unspoken moments between her sisters, but this—this moment of embarrassment, of Nesta cutting through the tension with something so sharp—was entirely new.

“I’m sorry,” Feyre repeated, her voice small. “It’s just… It’s been a long night. I didn’t mean for it to go this way.”

Nesta, however, didn’t seem to hold any ill will. She nodded once, her expression hardening again, like she was already shutting herself off from any further emotional entanglements. “We’ll be going now,” she said softly, but the finality in her voice made it clear that there was no room for discussion.

Feyre, her heart aching with the weight of the evening’s tension, took a tentative step toward Nesta, her voice soft and sincere. “I would love to have you again, Nesta. Please, don’t be a stranger,” she said, her words carrying a warmth, a hope she desperately wanted to believe in.

Nesta paused as she reached for the door, her back still turned to Feyre. The dim light of the room flickered in the silence that stretched between them, and for a moment, Feyre thought Nesta might not respond at all. But then she heard her voice, low and steady, yet touched with something unspoken.

“We have a house now,” Nesta said, her tone even but undeniably firm. “Taryn and I. Every weekend, we’re at the taverns.” She finally turned to face Feyre, her expression unreadable but not unfriendly. “You’re welcome to stop by if you want. They’ve got live shows playing, and we always have a couple of drinks.”

Feyre swallowed, her breath catching as the words sank in. She had expected something else, perhaps a refusal, perhaps a coldness, but this… this was something different. It wasn’t an invitation with open arms, but it wasn’t a door slammed shut either. It was a line drawn, an offer made, but with distance—a distance Feyre knew she had no right to cross easily.

“I’ll… I’ll keep that in mind,” Feyre said, her voice softer than she intended, filled with a sadness she couldn’t quite suppress. “I hope you know you’re always welcome here too, Nesta.”

Nesta nodded once, her gaze flickering briefly to Taryn, who stood by the door, ready to leave. “Thank you, Feyre,” she said, the words surprisingly calm, though there was a finality to them.

As Nesta moved toward the door, Taryn paused, her gaze shifting from the retreating figure of her friend to Feyre. There was a quiet intensity in her eyes, a calm that carried with it a sense of finality. She took a breath before she spoke, her voice carrying a weight that made Feyre stop in her tracks.

“She’s inviting you. It’s up to you and Elain to decide if you want to be a part of her life, not the other way around.”

With those final words, Taryn gave a small nod, the strength in her gaze undiminished. She turned toward the door to join Nesta, but before leaving, she looked back at Feyre once more.

“She’s trying, but if you keep waiting for her to come to you, you’ll lose her.”

The door closed softly behind them, leaving Feyre standing in the quiet, the sting of Taryn’s words echoing in the silence.

Feyre stood frozen, her mind racing as Taryn’s words replayed in her head. She felt a heavy, suffocating shame settle in her chest, a tightness that constricted her lungs. Her feet felt rooted to the floor, but the sting of truth washed over her like a wave, forcing her to turn back toward the room.

Taryn had been right. All of it—every single word.

The realization hit Feyre like a gut punch, and her face flushed with the heat of guilt. She had expected so much from Nesta—her loyalty, her presence, her willingness to return to them—without ever stopping to think what it cost her.

She hadn’t been fair.

Tag list: @litnerdwrites @viajandopelomar

#anti acosf #anti acotar #anti feysand #anti inner circle #anti rhysand #nesta archeron deserves better #pro nesta #anti azriel #anti cassian #anti amren #anti morrigan #anti nessian #anti night court #sapphic nesta

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