#nesta archeron ass quote

[safirefire]

“Marigold laughed then—what is so wrong about being a bitch? It is the closest a girl can be to a wolf”

-Sydney J. Shields, The Honey Witch

[thebellekeys]

the way those people treat nesta never fails to make me uncomfortable and disappointed

[mardereads19]

A Comparrison between Az’s Chapter and Cassian’s Chapters in Acofas

Today I found myself inspired by @thereaderspeaks ‘s post and what I had to add about it, to write this long-ass post comparing Az’s chapter in Acosf to Cassian’s three chapters in Acofas.

@rhyssescups does an amazing job in this post (and @psychee92 in this one) of comparing Az’s chapter to Cassian’s POV in Wings and Embers. I’ll also attach @psychee92 ‘s comparison of both batboys’ attitudes after their respective solstices. But I’m going to concentrate on Az’s POV and Acofas rather than Wings and Embers.

There are a LOT of things in common, so when you add the posts linked above to this one, you’ll see how Azriel’s emotions and his interaction with Gwyn mirror those of Cassian. Everyday I find more peace of mind regarding Elriel.

Before I begin, I want to clarify that Emerie is not in Wings and Embers, but on Cassian’s perspective in Acofas. I had seen many people on Tumblr and on Twitter saying (by mistake) that she’s in W&E, so I wanted to point that out. It is Mor who is mentioned in W&E. How Cassian does not want to tell her about Nesta, etc. For more on that, check out the links I attached above.

There are many elements that Cassian and Azriel share in their chapters and I decided to divide them into categories. I’ll support them with quotes so that we have the receipts. With that said…

Let’s get started!

1. Distance

In both instances there was something that separated the couples and caused distance. 

In Cassian’s case it was post-war-Nesta and even Cassian himself (it was pride that kept him ignoring her all through the party until he couldn’t take it anymore and ran after her, simple as that): 

In Azriel’s case it was his understanding of what he feels for Elain and the fact that she has a mate. But also, let’s add Rhys’s order as a new element that will cause distance.

2. Emotions

Cassian did not allow himself to think about Nesta because of the feelings that stirred up in him.

Anger, passion, confusion.

And Azriel… 

Well, well, well... What do we have here? 

Anger, passion, confusion. 

He was ready to spar it out of his system, too, like Cassian.

3. Something the batboys associate with their mate Archeron sister

I noticed that in both cases, Cass and Az had given their girls something that they associated with them, be it material or other.

For example, Cassian’s was names for Nesta’s poses.

He saw Nesta stand in any particular way and if it was something she repeated he gave that pose a name. It is something he associates with her.

In Azriel’s case, we know he gives Elain a rose necklace. 

Roses signify Elain because of what she does: gardening; But also, it could simply represent them. Their way of spending time together (here’s a post of different refences of Elriel in the garden by @silver-flames​) and their relationship that has been slowly blooming in secret, like how that charm shines with colors when it’s in the light, but looks ordinary in the dark.

4. The batboys hurting the sisters

In both POVs the Illyrians hurt the Archerons. 

Cassian does it out of anger. Because Nesta kept rejecting him. Instead of holding his tongue, like any mature person should, he tells her something that destroys her (we know by her reaction).

See how her eyes go empty? 

Well, in his chapter, Azriel hurts Elain, too, though it pains him as much as it pains her because he did not do it intentionally. 

5. The sisters rejecting/returning the gifts

Nesta rejects Cassian’s gift, though I wouldn’t have taken it either after what he told her. This quote comes from before his insult, but my point is that she left without taking the gift.

Also, notice how Cassian hadn’t wanted to give Nesta her present in front of the others, something that Azriel does, too, though for different reasons. Cassian had feared rejection and had been waiting for her to approach him.

Azriel had not given Elain her present because Lucien, her mate, was there.

And of course, Elain returns her gift after Azriel left her standing in the hall with the words “this was a mistake.” I wouldn’t have stayed with that necklace either, not when it reminded me of that moment.

6. Regifting/Comparing

Something particular that happens in both characters’ PoV is the regifting of the objects the batboys used to relate to their girls. I do not think they are necessarily wrong, just that it happens.

Cassian uses the name of one of Nesta’s poses to describe Emerie.

He also compares her way of speaking and the look in her eyes to that of Nesta.

Azriel regifts the necklace that represents Elain to Gwyn (though he doesn’t give it to her personally, just hands it to Clotho for her to do it), and describes her with the same quote he used on the necklace (Elriel). 

I have my own theory on why the thought of her smile makes him smile. Soon I will explain.

7. Getting rid of the gifts (decisions made in haste)

Cassian being all impulsive and throwing the very expensive and extremely unique gift to the Sidra:

Gotta love our hotheaded overgrown bat. (My baby!! <3)

Then, we have Az making the dumb decision of regifting the present because somehow he couldn’t get rid of it (symbolism but not the post for it).

He was in a bad place when he made the decision, and even Clotho points out that his eyes are sad. 

The quote in purple is important to note. The theory about Clotho not giving Gwyn the necklace? That line is good for it. The fact that he told Clotho to give the necklace to anyone as long as he didn’t have it and the sadness she gleaned in his eyes is enough for her to know there is more to it than what he tells her.  

I also want to point out that we know for a fact that Cassian regretted getting rid of the present and that he knows he had been foolish that night. So, considering how parallel to each other these chapters are, I’m sure that Azriel will, too.

8. Distraction/Consolation (Aftermath)

I think it is important to highlight how Cassian got to the Townhouse late and was followed by a worried Mor, who most likely consoled him after his disastrous evening with Nesta...

...and compare it to how Azriel had needed to release unspent energy and was successfully distracted from his bad juju by the short lesson he gave to Gwyn:

He straight up says he’s thankful for the distraction. That was what the whole convo had been for him -in a good sense. 

It also aligns super well with @silverlinedeyes​ ‘s theory of Gwyn being a lightsinger in how they appear to people when they are lost. Gwyn was there when Azriel needed someone (even just to distract him), be it coincidence or not, and that cannot be ignored. 

If Gwyn does take on a role in Acotar 5, I think it will have a lot to do with being his friend and confidant (and trainee), someone who will help him figure out what to do about his situation, just like how she unknowingly helped him on solstice.

9. Empathy towards the Valkyries

Another parallel that I found in the chapter is how Cassian felt empathy for Emerie’s situation upon looking at her...

...and how Azriel’s interaction with Gwyn brought about the same reaction:

This is what I was talking about earlier. Notice how he sees her pain and grief and prefers when she’s happy to when she’s sad? Who wouldn’t want that? That is the same mentality I apply to his smile at the thought of her smiling. That he is glad that something would make her happy after what she has been through. Especially after remembering her past (within the last three pages). 

10. Emerie and Gwyn’s attitudes

This was super curious for me! Look at how both girls say goodbye to the batboys:

Emerie being a whole independent female, and Gwyn… 

All business. 

Literally got the same energy from them. 

Gwyn finished the convo and continued her practice like the badass warrior that she is. There was no demure glance or cloy blush anywhere. The interaction was not romantic, purely platonic. Just like Emerie’s with Cassian.

11. This interesting parallel:

These two moments that are almost identical:

Cassian tells Emerie to give the Illyrians the clothes he just bought and to tell them it was the High Lord’s gift. He does it because he knows the Illyrians would not accept them if they knew they came from Cassian.

Azriel:

Another one (DJ khaled voice). 

“Just tell her it was a gift from Rhys.” 

Why does he do that? Because it wasn’t romantic and if Gwyn had known she’d have brought it up in conversation. He just wanted to be rid of it, so he gave it to her, perhaps as a way of thanking her for the distraction yesterday, but nothing more. 

“If there’s another priestess here who might appreciate it, give it to them.” He didn’t care who’d have it as long as it wasn’t him. 

Conclusion: 

(Wings and Embers + Acofas) Cassian = Acosf bonus chapter Azriel

That’s the real formula bestie SJM used and the receipts are here. 

Azriel mirrors Cassian in emotions, actions and interactions. 

Remember how Nesta Antis began shipping Cass with Emerie after their interaction in Acofas simply because they hated Nesta? Their scene had zero romantic energy, but Nesta Antis still did it. 

Well, history repeats itself with Elain.

Regarding Gwyn: So far, I see no build-up to something more than a friendship. Like we explored, Az’s scene with her was similar to Cassian’s with Emerie. The differences lie in that Gwyn is more energetic than Emerie and that Az’s shadows reacted to her power (she has powers, read about it in the lighsinger theory). 

There is literally nothing more I can add. 

Peace out.

[yabai-korra]

Eris getting some of Nesta's powers and his importance in the future

Y'all I'm 90% sure some of Nesta's power has been transferred to Eris, at first it occurred to me in a sort of "ha, could be" way but I'm pretty certain, hear me out! Also going to touch on the subject of Nesta not losing her powers completely.

The power in the dagger

Nesta Made the dagger and put some of her own power into it, and then Eris got that dagger as a present by Inner Circle, which wasn't really a necessary scene nor plot point unless you read between the lines.

KINGDOM OF ASH SPOILERS AHEAD!

We have seen the exact same thing in Kingdom Ash, Aelin lost all of her power but an ember, but beforehand put it in her sword Goldryn and whooped Maeve's ass, actually head lol, with it. Having power shoot out of her hands and her sword felt pretty much the same so I'm sure Nesta will be equally powerful in the next book! Not only does she have a bit of her power left, three weapons filled with her power, and the Dread Trove. Nesta is still the most powerful character 😎

If Nesta can put some of her power into a weapon, it doesn't seem like a stretch at all for the power in the weapon to get out and into a person.

Eris only pretended to be influenced by Koschei

This one was kinda obvious to me from the moment I read it, no psychoanalyzing needed.

Nesta and her weapons were said to "probably" grant immunity from Koschei's power because they were both Made, and Eris had the dagger while he when he was captured.

Every person that has been possessed by Koschei has been said to have glassy eyes, EVERYONE except Eris!

Eris's soldiers had glassy eyes.

Bellius had glassy eyes.

Cassian had glassy eyes.

Eris is the only "possessed" person to get "accidentally" caught.

Eri's soldiers said nothing, and it was Briallyn who reveal that Bellius and Cassian were possessed.

Out of Cassian, Bellius, Eris, and his soldiers, Eris is undoubtedly the slickest and most cunning one. Comparison between him and Cassian has been dragged throughout the whole book, while Cassin is the muscle, Eris plays mind games and politics.

ERIS IS THE MASTER AT WORD GAMES! How did Cass and Az realize he was possessed and therefore Koschei being there? THROUGH ERIS USING A WORD GAME he knew only Cass and Az will pick up on.

Are y'all trying to tell me that Eris, who supposedly had immunity from the Koschei's power, didn't show the only sign of being possessed which is glassy eyes, had accidentally said something that will let Cass and Az know he's "possessed"?

Golden flames

The word "flame" has been used in 4 different contexts throughout the book

a) actual fire in the fireplace

b) silver flames in Nesta's eyes

c) flames in Lucien's eyes

d) flames in Eris's eyes

We know that Autumn Court's power is fire, both Lucien and Eris were described to have red flames in their eyes, which is completely expected right?

Eris was said to have flame/red flame multiple times, but I'm only allowed ten pics per post, and obviously not gonna put quotes of Nesta's silver flames cause it's literally the title lol.

Then, when Eris was "possessed" and held a dagger to Cassian's chest, it was said that flame rippled from it, and Cass didn't know if it came from the dagger itself or from Eris.

My guess? Both or combined! When Eris received the dagger, he said that it has flame in it, and Eris is said to have had flames in his eyes previously.

Last but not least, AFTER Eris had been "possessed" and AFTER the dagger was returned to the Night Court, ERIS NOT LONGER HAS RED FLAME IN HIS EYES, BUT GOLD.

This was in the penultimate chapter! Aka the chapter before the last. SJM always takes great care to put something important or foreshadowish at the end of each book. The last chapter was obviously Nessian and Archeron sisters, since it was the Nessian book and the three sisters are all finally happy together (plus announcing the next book as Elain's) but chapter before that... about Eris? Interesting.

There was so much about him there I for a second thought the next book is going to be about him lol. So much to unpack in that chapter:

Eris was tortured by his father for information (which I think is the hint for Eris not being possessed).

Eris still insists there are some things about him and Mor that Mor hasn't told the Inner Circle.

He wants to explain something to Mor.

He obviously just wants to be friends with the Inner Circle (but that's a discussion for another post).

Cassian, who hates Eris with burning passion throughout the whole book, says he thinks Eris is a good guy, but is too much of a coward to act like it.

It was hinted that Beron did much worse things to Eris during his life, "The male had been raised with every luxury and privilege - on paper. But who knew what terrors Beron had inflicted upon him? Cassin knew Beron had murdered Lucien's lover. If the High Lord of Autumn had been willing to do that, what wouldn't he do?" If you ever read any SJM serials you would know that this wasn't put here just because, it's always foreshadowing with her.

"Because it doesn't add up. You know what a monster your father is and want to usurp him; you act against him in the best interests of not only the Autumn Court but all of the faerie lands; you risk your life to ally with us... and yet you left her in the woods." - Cassian. Do you see all the material for the future book?

"Eris crossed his arms, then winced. As if whatever injuries lay beneath his immaculate clothes ached." I THINK THIS IS A DESCRIPTION OF NOT ONLY ERIS'S CURRENT SITUATION, BUT HIS WHOLE LIFE. As Cass said, born in luxury, raised by a monster.

Eris is generally very fucked up? Not only was it in this last chapter, but it was stated multiple times that his upbringing really damaged him. When Cassian was surprised by the fact Beron tortured him, Eris responded with: "Get that pitying look off your face. I know what sort of creature my father is. I don't need your sympathy." That is an extremely fucked up way to respond to being tortured by one's father, and implicates he was subjected to similar misery earlier in his life.

"Nesta could see he didn't believe them - that he was so used to twisted politics and scheming of his court that even when the simple, easy truth was offered, he could not see it." Again, very messed up mindset, which in the author's language means writing material.

The last line said to Eris in the book is: "Eris was still their ally. Was willing to be tortured to keep their secrets. And Cassian didn't need to be a courtier to know his next words would slice deep, but it would be a necessary wound. Perhaps it would be enough to push him in the right direction. "You know, Eris, I think you might be a decent male, deep down, trapped in a horrible situation." He looked over his shoulder to find Eris's gaze blazing again. But only pity stirred in his chest, pity for a male who has been born into riches, but had been destitute in every way that truly mattered. In every way Cassian had been blessed - blessings that were now overflowing. So Cassian said; "I grew up surrounded by monsters. I've spent my existence fighting them. And I see you, Eris. You're not one of them. Not even close. I think you might even be a good male. You're just too much of a coward to act like it." This was said by Cassian, whom Eris insulted every time they interacted, who hurt his sister, who wanted to steal his mate, whom Cassian said he wanted to kill or leave to die on so so many occasions, who made Cassian feel stupid and insecure every chance he had, and yet Cass of all people found it in his big good heart to see the good in Eris and try to push him to be good.

And now, his eyes burn with golden flames.

There is so so much to unpack and reveal about Eris's character, and SJM couldn't be more obvious with pointing it out. He is definitely going to play a huge role in the next book(s). With his possible new powers, overthrowing Beron, healing from all the emotional and physical trauma inflicted upon him, revealing a lot of secrets he's been keeping, and finding a way to show his true colors.

Also I think Nesta might be the one to help him with it because she at some point says that she deserves to marry him because "she is just like him", and not only in a way that they both insulted Cassian. They both had/had demanding parents which made them cold and unfeeling, preferring to appear as assholes because they don't want and don't know how to be their true kind selves. I think she would a great friend and the best person to help him deal with everything.

And the way Eris obviously likes her which we've seen when they were dancing. How he saw that she really liked spinning around so he went out of his way to spin her on multiple occasions even though it wasn't in the dance protocol. I'm pretty sure that was his way of getting closer to her because he obviously can't do it with words.

[foxybananaaaz]

More on Cassian and Nesta, zeroing in on Nesta being human in Mist and Fury, it was Cassian always volunteering to go do the check-ins with Nesta 'and Elain'(NESTA THOUGH! ONLY NESTA).

He did so because(and I don't know if this quote is in Mist and Fury when she's human, or Wings and Ruin when she's just made fae), "I can't stay away." (Same reason though for both books no matter where he said it. Cause MATING BOND)

But did their wonderful, loved, shadowy bat boy ever volunteer to go check on the Archeron Sisters in the human lands, just to see Elain, because he couldn't stay away? Because there was a bond there that was given to someone else as he was dying? No.

Rhys actively sought Feyre out on Calanmai and made up an excuse to get out of the mountain to do so. Found her and knew she was the one he'd been looking for.

Cassian always volunteered to go check on Nesta and Elain because he couldn't stay away, and we got a glimpse of their mate-like interactions in the ACOMAF Bonus Chapter.

Azriel thought of Elain by... 'being in love with Mor.' But really, it was obsessing over Mor.

LUCIEN broke the magical bonds the King of Hybern had put him in, ran over, giving Elain his jacket, angry that Hyberns men would just leave her on the floor. He was going to help Elain up until Nesta shoved him out of the way to do it herself(and this was all BEFORE the two locked eyes, and that mating bond clicked in).

So, how does e/riel math even math? What loops and hoops do they have to jump through to make it that the CAULDRON was wrong? I don't get it.

E/riels clearly forgot the very rule in math class to SHOW THY WORK.... and not just basic ass hilighting. Show the math used to come to the conclusion. Because their math ain't mathing.

"the cauldron only chose lucien as elain's mate because it thought azriel was dying!!1!"

a couple of problems with that statement. first, elain and lucien have been mates since the dawn of time. they were always meant to be mates, much like feyre and rhys and nesta and cassian were always mates. second, you don't think the LITERAL FATE DECIDER OF PRYTHIAN would know if azriel was really going to die??

[witching-by-the-willow]

Right! So now that I've somewhat collected and organised my thoughts about ACOTAR, here we go:

First of all, I feel like this is one of those books where the plot is not the highlight, at least for me (that's not a bad thing at all), and is honestly starting to fade from my mind already (I almost never forget plots, but then again, I've also never binged a whole series in a week 🙃) I went into it looking for some steamy romance, not a whole lot of brainstorming, and a relatively easy-to-follow plot and world. That's exactly what I got.

I'm breaking this into 3 parts: the ACOTAR Trilogy, the ACOFAS novella, and then ACOSF.

This can get long, so I'm gonna put a wee cut here.

The ACOTAR trilogy

I don't really have much to say here, actually...I had a good time with it and finished the trilogy in 4 days.

I liked ACOWAR (4 stars) the most, ACOTAR (3 stars) the least and ACOMAF is in the middle (3.5 stars). (For reference, I take 3 stars as "fine"/ a good time but no strong feelings.)

I have heard this before while I was looking up reviews of this series, and I agree that SJM is very upfront with which characters you should like, and I feel like if you don't love them, the series will fall flat. I, for one, liked Feyre throughout these 3 books, but didn't blindly love her, so there were many points where I was annoyed at everybody worshipping her and Rhys, even when they were in the wrong. But I did enjoy her character overall.

I knew what was going to happen with Tamlin, so I didn't really bother getting attached, but Rhysand intrigued me in book 1, then I didn't like him much for most of book 2, but liked him in book 3.

I liked Lucien as well! He has some sassy one-liners and when have I not loved that?

The inner circle seemed cool to me until ACOSF (except Azriel, I liked him all throughout but even more after it)....but also, does anyone in the IC ever question anything Rhys does? Because that sounds like a recipe for disaster to me. These people need to get their heads out of Feysand's asses, if they're going to have any actual debate.

Nesta extracting revenge in the cauldron, like the queen she is. Like, go Nesta, pillage death! 😌 (oh god did I just quote Rhys?)

I loved the moments between Nessian in ACOMAF and ACOWAR.

I never want to see the words 'velvet' and 'steel' in the same sentence again, or I will lose my mind. Also goes for "bowels loosening" or some shit. It might sound sensual to SJM but to me, it sounds like Diarrhoea.

I'm sorry, but I literally cannot take the Cauldron seriously...the fact that they worship a magical pot is just hilarious to me.

ACOFAS

Now, I know a big part of the fandom didn't like this book, but I actually did. I'd say 3.75 stars. It's probably because I didn't read this series for the plot to begin with, so I didn't really care that it was altogether absent here.

I still liked Feysand at this point (this wasn't going to last long...), but I was still annoyed at Feyre for making Nesta attend the party, and then doing nothing about everyone ignoring her. Like, what was she trying to achieve with this?

I really wish they hadn't brought up Rhys' parents age-gap as a justification of the one between Feysand. It just wasn't needed, and was a little weird that we needed to be told this.

I really felt for Nesta in this book. She was my favourite Archeron from the get-go. Listen, I almost always get protective over traumatised women with terrible coping mechanisms, and who push people away. I still think she and Elain were way too passive while Feyre was out hunting to feed the family, but I think Nesta gets WAY more hatred than Elain.

And about her, I low-key forgot Elain and Tamlin existed. It's not that I hate Elain, it's just that she isn't fleshed out as a character. She's just there (other than the stabbing scene, of course..that was cool). I really hope she gets some sort of arc in the upcoming books. And Tamlin, well... I'm just tired of him at this point.

And yes, like most people, I too am irked by Rhys climaxing to an image of his unborn son. A part of me is aware it's more because he is thrilled by PROSECT of having a child, but it's still weird.

I like that the bat boys have snowball fights and I want more of that!

ACOSF

Now, this. This one I have quite a few things to say about. I liked it a lot, and I'd give it 4 stars if I had to rate it.

How ironic that my favourite book in the series is also the one that made me SO angry at many characters.

I'll start with things I hated, and then move on to things I loved to hopefully end it on a positive note.

*takes a deep breath* okay, let's go.

First off, Feysand really pulled a Tamlin in my eyes. I hated them here.

Rhysand hiding the death-sentence part of her pregnancy from Feyre? Excuse me, I thought he was a self-proclaimed Feminist? Oh right, his feminism is highly selective.

And then Feyre just moves over it so quickly? Why isn't she more pissed? 🤯

And the Suicide pact...(Feyre is what? 22? And what about the court? Or their son? Does nothing else matter?) I can't even get myself to believe that SJM thought it was romantic. It's co-dependant and nothing else. I'll leave this here, because I can write a whole essay on this topic and this post is already long enough.

And the IC. Oh, god..where do I start? They feel entitled to make decisions FOR people and then try to justify it? And Feyre defends this? Honestly, Nesta was right to be pissed. And as terrible as it was for Feyre, when she found out that the IC had made a decision for her without her knowing, just like she was a part of doing for Nesta, I felt truly sorry for her, because no one should have to go though that, but a part of me was also couldn't help but see that she basically got a taste of her medicine.

Rhys told Cassian to get Nesta out so he doesn't kill her? He does realise he wouldn't be able to even if he tried, and that with the power she had at the time, she could end him on her worst day, right?

And Feyre, I thought she wanted to do whatever she could for the people who had suffered during the war, but somehow can't find anything to do for them (rehabilitating people, for example?) with one of her and Rhys' FIVE houses? I wouldn't have minded this so much if only SJM hadn't painted Feysand as the most charitable people alive when they don't do shit where it matters.

Also, how do they make money in this world?

And Cassian, I liked him later in the story, but initially I was so annoyed at him for defending Rhys when he was clearly being terrible. (This is what meant when I said the IC needs to get their heads out of Feysand's asses.)

The way the IC shames Nesta is just abhorrent. Like, these people have been alive for 500+ years and still don't know how to treat a person who is very clearly in depression.

And Nesta fucking Archeron apologising ON HER KNEES? To Amren?! What was that? I'm choosing to erase that part from my memory.

Okay, Rant over. Now onto the stuff I liked.

The Valkyries. Gwyn, Emerie and Nesta have my whole heart. I love them so much.

The Valkyries>>>>>the IC, and that is a fact.

The blood rite and the Valkyries coming together was a great scene. Emerie and Gwyn's stories hurt my heart.

The sleepover and the friendship bracelets! ❤️

Nessian. I don't think I need to say more. I really liked them after Cassian started calling Rhys out for shit-talking Nesta. I like them way more than I ever liked Feysand, just because I feel like they don't idolise each other to ridiculous degrees. They keep it real.

The smut definitely improved. I've still read better, but it's a leap from the torture that was the trilogy.

Also, while I love Nessian, I just want to say that Nesta and Eris Vanserra would have taken over the Fae world if they had come together. Not that I wanted them to, but I'm just pointing out how badass it could be.

The friendship between Azriel and Nesta. I didn't know I needed it, but I did. Again, I like this friendship more than Cassian and Feyre, because they don't idolise each other. They're two people who've been outcasts and understand what it's like, and found comradery with each other. And his gift was so considerate!

Azriel the chaperone. Poor guy. 😂

So yeah, Az is my favourite bat-boy.

Helion being Sellyn Drake was the best reveal in this entire series. I really do wish he gets Lady Autumn back, because their story is making me sad...

Now, I could see why people shipped Elriel in books 1 and 2, but after ACOSF, I NEED Gwynriel to happen. They could very possibly become my favourite ACOTAR couple, if it happens.

I have conflicting opinions on Nesta giving up her powers to save Feysand. On one hand, I do think they were eating her alive and she was tired and didn't want them. But on the other hand, I feel like she gave them up without ever understanding what she could do with them...? It just feels like SJM took the easy way out with this plotline instead of exploring Nesta's powers. Because let's be honest, ACOSF was a very VERY long book and this exploration was quite possible at the expense of a little less smut. Just saying.

Rhysand kneeling and bowing to Nesta was the one good thing he did in this book.

The house reads and recommends smut. I stan.

OKAY I'M DONE! (I think...for now.)

If you read this all the way...Wow. Much respect to you.

Anyway, as of now, the only characters I actually like are Nesta, Gwyn, Emerie, Azriel, Cassian, Lucien and the House. I don't really care about anyone else.

So those were my thoughts that absolutely nobody asked for, but here we are.

I'd love to hear everybody else's opinions!

[perseusannabeth]

I'll Hold Your Hand - modern AU Nessian fic

Summary:  Cassian is finally going to spend some alone time with Nesta, and he's going to woo the shit out of her. He's totally going to seduce her. This is his chance, finally! However, when he gets to Nesta's flat, he realises that this may not be the best time for seduction.

Notes:  This is not beta-read so please let me know if there are any mistakes! I wrote this for my friend @acourtofmarauders who asked for some Nessian fluff. If anyone has any acotar prompts they would like me to write, then please send me an ask!

Cassian would be lying through his teeth if he said he wasn’t dressing extra carefully today. He had spent 2 hours going through every combination of outfits he could possibly wear, and another hour (once he had chosen an outfit) had been dedicated to fixing his hair. He was nervous, and that was a new feeling for him. Cassian never got nervous, especially when it came to women.

Nesta Archeron however, was no ordinary woman. In fact, when she was angry, he wasn’t even sure she was a woman, she looked like a dragon sometimes, with smoke blowing out of her nostrils when she got angry and ready to breathe fire and burn down whoever angered her, which was usually him. He loved it though. At first, he just loved pissing her off for the sake of it. He didn’t hate her, he just didn’t really like her either and she irritated him, got under his skin and somehow knew how to push all the wrong buttons. Now though, he just loved to watch the way her cheeks would flush, her brows would furrow, and the slight clench of her jaw. He enjoyed their verbal sparring, which he had come to see as a release for the tension between them, only the past few months it felt like the verbal spars were not enough to get rid of the tension.

If she could see him now, primping and preening in the mirror for hours on end, she would have insulted him till he begged for a reprieve, but he doesn’t care. He wants to make sure he looks irresistible but make it look effortless. She could never know his effortless look took him 3 hours. In fact, none of his friends could ever know. They would never shut up about it. He thanked the cauldron that Azriel was spending a few days away with Elain so he couldn’t witness what a mess he was. Sometimes living with your brother had its downsides. He was just thankful that Rhys didn’t still live here. He shuddered at the thought of Rhys and Feyre seeing him getting ready for his not-date with Nesta.

Cassian knew he was acting like this was a date, but he didn’t care. Nesta had invited him to go over to her flat when she was home alone to eat junk food and watch films together, and Cassian was ecstatic. If he had known that mentioning that he had never seen Lord of the Rings, despite having read all the books would have made Nesta so outraged that she’d invite him to spend time with her, then he would have mentioned it ages ago.

He looked at the clock again to check if it was a reasonable enough time to set off. He didn’t want to get there too early, as eager as he was, because that might annoy Nesta and he didn’t want to start their 12-hour marathon with Nesta being angry at him. He also would rather die than get there late, so he kept checking the clock. Nesta had told him to come over for 6 pm so they could marathon all three of the films. She had warned that it would be an endurance test and that if he was a “weak ass bitch” (direct quote from Nesta herself), then she would “leave him for dead”.

Cassian looked at himself one last time in the mirror. His hair was tied in a messy man bun that had taken way too much time to make it look so effortless and not as though he had run in the wind. He had kept his outfit simple, wearing a grey fitted shirt which he knew made his muscles look great, and his favourite joggers which he knew did wonders for his ass (not that it needed help but still, every little helps where Nesta is concerned). Nesta had warned him to dress comfortable, but that didn’t mean he had to dress like a slob.

He grabbed his favourite red zip-up hoodie, made sure he had his phone, charger and keys as he walked into the kitchen. Nesta had said she would have some snacks but Cassian wanted to do a little extra, so he had prepared a pasta bake, which just needed to go in the oven when he got to Nesta’s place. He had also taken the liberty of buying an assortment of junk food, including sour sweets (Nesta’s favourites) and Yorkie chocolate bars (Nesta claimed she started eating them out of spite and can’t stop. He’s too afraid to ask what that even means).

He somehow managed to lock up while holding the pasta bake and the tonne of junk food, and then went and put his things in his car. He tried to drive as slowly as he could without annoying other people on the roads, just to make sure he didn’t get there too early, but still ended up arriving 15 minutes earlier than he was supposed to. Still, Cassian decided Nesta couldn’t be too mad at him for arriving early (could she?) so he decided to take a chance and go up to her flat.

He knocked on her door cautiously and heard a muffled swear from inside which made him grin. Perhaps their little Lord of the Rings marathon wasn’t only making him nervous. The idea that Nesta was nervous too made Cassian grin even wider, his heart fluttering slightly at the thought of Nesta getting nervous because of him.

The door swung open, interrupting Cassian’s thoughts. Nesta stood in the doorway, leaning against the door frame. She looked… tired? It threw Cassian, seeing her like this. Her hair was in a messy plait that she had clearly slept in, she was wearing what looked like some Mulan pyjamas and a pastel pink fluffy dressing gown over them. Her cheeks were slightly flushed, she looked a little sweaty, her eyes were half-closed as she looked at Cassian. This was not the poised and ready to step on his balls while wearing high heels Nesta he was used to.

“Hi sweetheart, are you okay?” Cassian forgot all about any ideas to woo Nesta, worry at the forefront of his mind now. Something was clearly wrong because Nesta would rather die than be seen in this state, especially by him.

“Hmm? Don’t call me that,” Nesta protested half-heartedly, her eyes still half-closed as she leaned against the door frame, her head moving to rest against it as though it was too heavy for her to carry.

Cassian decided to throw all caution to the wind and step forward, lightly touching her arm while balancing the ridiculous amounts of food he had bought for the two of them. “Nes, you don’t look very well. Are you okay?”

“I was gonna call you to cancel but then I got really tired and fell asleep. It was just really exhausting getting out of bed to go to the bathroom and kitchen so I had to rest on the sofa.” Nesta said softly. It was strange hearing the normally sharp-tongued Nesta sound so soft and sleepy. He had never seen her so vulnerable, and it made his heart swell.

“Why do you have your head against the doorframe sweetheart? You have a temperature too?”

“Yeah, I think so. Also, I’m a little dizzy right now. I’m not too bad when I’m ill usually, but the flu always affects my balance because once I had an ear infection.” She moved her head from the doorframe, turning her head to look at Cassian with those beautiful, sleepy eyes. As she moved her head, she swayed a bit, her grip tightening on the door frame as she did.

“Right, hang on a second,” Cassian said, quickly spurring into action and moving past her to put down the food he had bought on the kitchen counter, before rushing back to the front door, closing it and slowly guiding Nesta back to the sofa in her living area. Once he had Nesta safely seated, he let out a breath he had been holding.

“Thank you. You don’t have to stay, you know. As you can probably tell, I’m in no fit state to watch Lord of the Rings right now. Plus, the only correct way to do it is to marathon them and I don’t have the energy for that,” Nesta let out a small, sad-sounding sigh which sounded more like she was struggling to breathe as she lay herself down.

“That’s fine, we can watch Lord of the Rings another time. I don’t mind,” Cassian smiled at her softly as he grabbed the blanket at the foot of the sofa and covered her in it.

Nesta frowned. “You don’t have to stay,” she repeated.

“I know I don’t have to stay, but I want to stay.”

There was silence as Nesta looked at Cassian, confusion written all over her face plain as day. She never made it this easy to read her, but Cassian enjoyed the fact that for once, he might be able to guess what’s going on in her head.

“I… I don’t… why?”

“Why not? You’re ill, nobody else is here. I’m not going to let you deal with this on your own, especially when you tell me you’re getting dizzy. It’s not safe. Plus, I don’t mind what we do, even if it’s just sitting here and watching some mindless TV while you doze off. I just wanted to spend time with you.”

“Oh,” was all Nesta could say to Cassian’s confession. He couldn’t be sure, but she almost sounded shocked? But surely not, because he always told her how much he enjoyed talking to her.

“Okay, so have you had any food, water or medicine today?” Cassian asked, getting into his ‘nurse Cassian’ way of thinking, as Azriel had lovingly named it back when Azriel had been very ill when they were younger. Cassian just couldn’t help himself, he always felt the need to protect those he loved.

“I had some water and 2 cookies when I woke up. I fell asleep pretty soon after so I haven’t had anything else yet.”

Cassian frowned. “Nesta, it’s now past 6. Are you telling me that all you’ve had today is 2 cookies and a glass of water? What the fuck!”

“I fell asleep, that’s why! I only just woke up when you knocked on my door. Plus, it’s not so bad, I woke up at 1 pm today so it’s only been a few hours,” Nesta said defensively, a little sharpness returning to her voice.

“No wonder you’re feeling dizzy, you’ve not had any medicine or anything of nutritional value to eat, and most of the day has passed! Come on, what do you want to eat? Anything specific?”

“I don’t care as long as it’s not soup. I’m not dying, I still want real food, and soup never tastes good. Plus, I used to have it all the time when I was younger, it reminds me too much of starving and shoving random things in a pot to make ‘soup’ that we would have tiny little portions of so that it would last us a week.”

Cassian has never heard Nesta talk about their childhood. He knew from Feyre how tough things had been, but Nesta had never once spoken about it. He had always assumed that she didn’t care, and from what Feyre had told them, both her and Elain had pretended nothing was happening. Perhaps, Cassian mused, there was more going on there too, more than what she had let her sisters see.

“Okay, no soup. I made a pasta bake so we could always have that. It just needs to go into the oven for a little while. Does that sound good to you?” Nesta nodded, making Cassian smile.

He was glad that his pasta bake would come to good use. He was just glad that despite the fact that Nesta probably didn’t want him here, she didn’t seem to be kicking him out. He wanted to be able to help her and look after her. She hated people seeing her vulnerable, he knew that, and he was honoured that she was putting up with him and allowing him to be there for her.

Cassian walked over to the kitchen, put the oven on and pulled some dishes out of Nesta’s cupboards while the oven warmed up. Once the oven was warmed up, he put the pasta bake into the oven and set a timer on his phone, making sure it was on vibrate so it didn’t make too much noise and startle Nesta.

While he had been rattling around in the kitchen, Nesta had put the TV on and started Netflix up and was looking through to find something to watch. She eventually decided on Queer Eye but had the volume on very quietly, so it was just some comfortable background silence. Cassian glanced at her on the sofa and saw her struggling to keep her eyes open.

“Where do you keep your medicine?” Cassian asked, deciding he should also see what she had in her medicine cupboard too.

“There’s some in the small cupboard right at the end and then there’s some stuff in the bathroom cupboard too,” Nesta answered, jolting at the sound of his voice as she kept almost falling asleep. Cassian could see that she was fighting valiantly to stay awake. She would probably fight the illness with the same kind of energy and knowing Nesta, be fine in no time through sheer determination alone.

Cassian looked through the cupboards and managed to find some lemsip tablets in the bathroom, as well as the powdered stuff in the kitchen. “Do you want lemsip powder or tablets?” he asked as he walked towards her, holding both up in his hands.

“Ugh, the tablets for sure. The powered stuff tastes like shit. I used to suffer through it and drink that shit until Feyre told me that there was a tablet form of it.” Nesta looked at the offending powder with disdain, narrowing her eyes at it as though it had offended her.

“Okie dokie! The powder stuff is definitely evil. I don’t know how we’re expected to drink it. It does not taste like lemon and lime, it tastes like lies and poison.” Cassian said, throwing the powder back into the cupboard.

His phone started buzzing in his pocket and he quickly went to take the pasta out of the oven. He quickly plated it up for Nesta, putting it on the coffee table in front of her along with the biggest glass he could find, full of water. He then went to get his own plate and water and sat beside her.

Nesta looked at him suspiciously and then looked at the pasta in front of her. Cassian just grinned at her and started eating. Nesta watched him for a minute, before following his lead. Cassian knew as soon as she had put the fork in her mouth because Nesta let out a positively sinful moan.

“Fuck, that’s amazing,” Nesta said, looking over at Cassian, her eyes widened with shock.

Cassian felt his cheeks heat a little, a combination of her praise and the incredibly sexy noise she had let out. He would usually have made a dirty comment after hearing a noise like that, but he decided to hold back for once, only going easy on Nesta because she was ill.

Nesta ate the food at a slightly alarming pace, and Cassian was half worried that she would choke on her food at the speed she was eating, and was on edge just in case he needed to quickly stop her from choking. Nesta didn’t pay him any attention, eating and watching Queer Eye.

When her plate was empty, she drank some of her water. Cassian got up, taking both the plates to the sink and grabbing the cold and flu tablets and handing them to Nesta. She silently took one, before lying back down again.

Cassian turned back to the kitchen when he heard a soft “thank you” coming from the sofa. He stopped in his tracks, not quite sure he had heard it right. He looked at the TV, wondering if he had just heard it from that, and then looked at Nesta, who was watching him.

“Sorry, did you say something?” Cassian asked as he started washing their dishes.

“I know you heard me, don’t ruin it now by being a bastard.” Cassian simply raised his eyebrow at her, before drying his hands and putting cling film on the remaining pasta and putting it in the fridge. “I said, thank you.”

“You’re welcome, I’m glad you enjoyed the food,” he said, sitting down near Nesta’s feet. She lifted them to make room for him. As he sat down, he pulled her feet back into his lap. “How are you feeling now?”

“Better. I guess you were right about the whole food thing making me feel better.”

“Wow, who would’ve thought we’d see the day where Nesta Archeron admits I was right?” Cassian said, feigning shock. Nesta huffed and gave his leg a light kick. “But seriously, you knew the food would make you feel better. You should take better care of yourself. Or maybe, let others in to take care of you from time to time. Like this, us right now.”

“But I don’t need anyone to take care of me,” Nesta said, not angry, the way she had said those words many times in the past. Just softly, stating a fact, but her voice tinged with confusion.

“Look, Nesta, admitting that you need help occasionally doesn’t mean you’re weak. Everyone needs help from time to time. Needing someone to take care of you when you’re ill doesn’t mean you’re needy or dependent or a burden on someone, it just means you’re human. And believe it or not, not everyone is out to get you. There are people in your life who would gladly help you, and ask for nothing in return.”

“Like you?” she looked at Cassian with an emotion etched on her beautiful face that he had never seen before. It was hope, softness, and perhaps maybe even fondness for him, all rolled into one.

“Nesta Archeron, I would drop everything to come and help you with whatever you needed, however stupid or mundane you might think it is.” Nesta looked away, and let a small smile grow on her face. Cassian had seen Nesta smile before, don’t get him wrong, but they were more smirks and ‘I’ll kill you’ smiles, in the heat of their arguments. This smile was something different altogether, and it reminded him of how Nesta truly took his breath away.

“I’m tired,” Nesta said after a few minutes of silence.

“Okay, well then you need to sleep.” Cassian stood up, switching the TV off, pulling the blanket off of her and picking her up. She barely weighed anything, which worried Cassian. He didn’t want to annoy Nesta by monitoring her eating habits, especially because he didn’t know why she was so underweight and that could be a risky move, but he hoped he would be able to get her to eat more. He’d even cook for her himself if she wanted.

Nesta, surprisingly, did not react when he picked her up. She just put her arms around his neck and stared at him as he carried her into her room. He placed her softly onto the bed, took her dressing gown off her and hung it up, then tucked her into bed. He then went back into the living room, picked her glass up from the coffee table, filled it up with fresh water and put it on her bedside cabinet, next to some more cold and flu tablets. He then turned to leave Nesta in peace, when she called out for him.

“Cassian?”

“Yes, sweetheart?” He asked, turning around. “Do you need anything else?” Nesta nodded, then gestured for him to come closer.

He walked closer until he was looming over her bed. She slowly reached out for his hand, and kissed the back of it, then let go and smiled at him. “Thank you, for taking care of me.”

“Is that what the kiss was for?” Nesta nodded. “Well sweetheart, if you want to thank me then there are plenty of ways you can thank me when you’re feeling better,” he smiled.

“I would’ve kissed you properly now but I don’t want you to get ill either. I’m nowhere near as good of a nurse as you are.”

“What you might lack in the care department, you could make up by wearing a sexy nurse costume.” he wriggled his eyebrows suggestively at her.

She laughed. “I think that would make you stay sick for longer.”

“I think you’re right,” he said, joining her in her laughter.

Nesta’s laughter subsided. She stared at him openly, her eyes roaming all over him. “Will you stay?” she said eventually, so quiet he could’ve missed it if there wasn’t total silence around them.

“Stay here?” he asked dumbly, not quite believing she would want him to continue to intrude, especially when she was about to sleep.

“Yes. Stay with me, please,” she said, her soft sleepy voice returning, her eyes starting to close before she opened them again. Cassian could see how much force and effort it was taking for her to keep her eyes open. He nodded, not trusting himself to speak. He grabbed Nesta’s armchair, where she no doubt spent many an hour reading her romance books, and pushed it until it was close enough to the bed that Nesta could reach out for him if she wanted.

He sat down on the chair, and Nesta instantly grabbed his hand, the same one she had kissed. He watched as she drifted off in a matter of minutes, the medicine making sleep come to her a lot quicker than usual. Even as she drifted off, she did not stop holding his hand at all. Cassian ran his thumb over the back of her hand softly, repeating the motion as he stared at the beautiful woman before him. He wasn’t entirely sure this wasn’t a dream, but if it was he never wanted to wake. Nesta’s face was much more relaxed now she was asleep, the frown lines and pursed lips smoothed out. She looked, younger, and almost carefree, apart from the clear signs of fatigue that lined her face. The bags under her eyes were prominent, and Cassian knew she studied into the night, working herself too hard.

Still, Cassian mused to himself, perhaps now that Nesta had let him in, he could convince her to take better care of herself. He needed to make sure that she knew that Cassian was in this for the long haul, and perhaps she would lower her walls more, and finally let him in.

As he drifted off to sleep, still holding her hand, he realised that perhaps she already had let him in.

End Notes: Thank you to everyone who is reading! Please let me know what you thought of it. Also, I've realised that perhaps some of the things I mentioned are very British? I'm not entirely sure but I figured I'd give an explanation just in case.

Yorkies are a chocolate bar, which used to have the slogan 'not for girls' which is obviously very dumb. They changed it years ago, however, before they changed it, when I was younger, I ate the chocolate bar out of spite because the slogan and some boys said I couldn't do it. The adrenaline rush was just wow, a lot at the time for an 8-year-old.

Lemsip is medicine for colds and flu. Most people tend to have the powdered stuff, which you have to mix into boiling water and drink like its tea. It claims to be lemon and lime flavoured but it's actually just lies and makes me gag because it's disgusting. I was very offended because I suffered for all these years but then my sister told me there were tablets too??? Betrayal??? Nobody bothered to tell me???

[darklove9314-blog]

What are your top 5 fave nessian moments/quotes from acosf?

you see this is a great question, because everyone knows I’m a sucker for Nessian. 

1. Chapter 58!!! everything about chapter 58 I adored. It was peak Nessian and i wished we had more of that type of scene between them in ACOSF, but the scenes we did get were great too. It’s just this hit different because they both let down their walls for each other and promised each other forever. Like their mating bond didn’t even need food to snap into place (goes with the theory that they have the strongest mating bond so i’m interested about what that means for any future offspring they have.)

2. The mountain scene. I said it once and I’ll say it again, when Nesta Archeron cries, I cry. Her breakdown was done beautifully and i loved how Cassian was there for her and wrapped her in his arms and the words he said to her just made my heart warm. My favorite line from him ever was telling her that there wasn’t anything broken to be fixed and also him telling her that he would stay up in those mountains for weeks if that was what she needed as long as she talked to him by the end of it. It showed his true love for Nesta. and it was definetly the side of Cassian that I loved most. 

3. Nessian at starfall. you see for me it’s really about their smaller moments too. I know a lot of people bypass this scene, but i loved how Nesta finally made it up and down those steps and Cassian was waiting for her with open arms. and their kiss and him carrying her when her legs gave out. it was one of the purest Nessian moments in this book and one that is rarely talked about. 

4. Nessian’s dance scene. I loved how he cut in to Nesta and Eris dancing and we learned that he asked Mor to teach him how to dance so he could surprise/ dance with Nesta, because he wanted her to have a good memory of dancing. It always seemed like everyone would use Nesta’s love for dance as their weapon or a means to an end, but Cassian wanted Nesta to have a good memory of it that wasn’t tainted and I thought it was one of those things that was truly overlooked in this scene. and how cute was it when Nesta said when she looked at Cassian the world went away and it was just them. Adorable. 

5. Nesta offering Cassian a choice between a dry ass biscuit or a lavish mating bond cermony. that was hilarious. and it made me genuinely smile. 

[epochofbelief]

Breath Control, Chapter Six

An A Court of Mist and Fury College Swim Team AU

All characters belong to SJ Maas!

Feysand.

Warnings: mature content, cursing

Let me know if you want to be tagged:)

Enjoy! 

SIX

We pulled up outside the family house--an enormous, Colonial-style building, complete with six bedrooms, too many bathrooms to count, an enormous kitchen, and several living areas. My father had purchased it as soon as his business had started flourishing again in the middle of last year. I’d never understood why he’d bought such a large home for himself alone. I figured it was something about overtly displaying just how much wealth he’d regained to everyone in our home town. I didn’t concern myself with it too much; I’d never actually lived in the house anyway.

Nesta had for a few months before she’d moved down to Prythian to live near me and Elain. I’m pretty sure she’d lived on the opposite side of the house from my father to avoid running into him as much as possible until she’d saved enough money from her flight attendant job to get a place of her own. . . Out of the three of us, Nesta got along with my dad the least. 

Rhys charmed Elain instantly, asking her questions about her baking, her gardening, her nursing classes. He skillfully avoided all talk of significant others, for which I was grateful, and by the end of the car ride Elain was half in love with him.

Elain hopped out of the car as soon as she pulled onto the enormous bricked driveway. I remained inside with Rhys for a moment. I twisted around in the backseat to look at him. 

“Here is my final warning and disclaimer to you. I love Nesta, don’t get me wrong. But she will be a bitch to you. I don’t know how my father will act around. . .” I trailed off.

“Never brought a boy home, Feyre darling? I’ll try to pretend I’m not immensely flattered at the idea.”

Heat bloomed in my cheeks. “Of course I’ve brought boys home. You’re not that special.”

He rolled his eyes. “Come on, Archeron. Let’s go meet your family.” 

If I was being honest, his eagerness scared me a little.  I took a deep breath and followed him up the front walk, bags in tow. Elain burst into the house and I timidly followed her through the enormous entry way, painted a pleasant cream above the dark wood flooring. Past the staircase and to the right, we found my father and Nesta in the kitchen talking. 

More like arguing, They weren’t yelling, though, which was progress for those two.

“I don’t like you working as a flight attendant, Nesta. You got an engineering degree for a reason, you know.” 

“I don’t care. Working on planes is much more fun. I get to see new places during long layovers or overnight stays. So butt. Out. Dad.”

Elain cleared her throat. Realizing they now had company, they both shut up rather quickly. I was grateful. I wanted to spare Rhys from the family theatrics for as long as possible. Even if things had been better between all four of us for the past year or so. 

“Feyre!” My dad exclaimed, unusually perky. It was probably for Rhys’s benefit.  He moved to hug me and I acquiesced, glancing at Nesta out of the corner of my eye. She shrugged.

“And you must be Rhysand. I have to say, I was quite surprised when Feyre told me she was bringing a boy home for Thanksgiving dinner who wasn’t Tamlin.” My cheeks were absolutely flaming at this point. I decided to stare at my shoes. 

Also, how could he mention Tamlin? He didn’t know a thing about our relationship except that we were broken up and I never wanted to speak of it again. Oblivious to all the embarrassment he was currently causing me, my father extended his hand to Rhys.

Rhys gripped it tightly, his crutch wedged underneath his arm.  I was pleased to see that his grip was firm. “Nice to meet you, sir.”

“Yes.” My father had suddenly become quite solemn.  “And what are you majoring in, Rhysand?” 

Oh dear.

“International Relations, sir.” 

“And what do you plan to do with that?”

And God bless him, Rhys didn’t miss a beat. “My father is an Operations Manager for a large global company. I plan to follow in his footsteps to manage a large company, particularly--”

I decided that that was enough. “Okay, Dad! I’m going to give Rhys a house tour. What time’s dinner?”

My father gave Rhys a look as though their conversation wasn’t over as I grabbed his arm and hustled him out of the kitchen.  

I forced Rhys up the stairs. “Oh my god. What right does he have to give my friends the first-degree as soon as he meets them? He didn’t try to parent me in high school, so why start now? It’s not like you’re my--”

“Boyfriend?” He smirked. “It was fine, Feyre. I know what I plan to do with my degree.”

“You shouldn’t have to answer to him.”

“Relax,” he said as he followed me up the second flight of stairs. “By the end of this week, your father will love me.”

He met me at the top of the stairs, seeing as I’d stormed up them and he’d had to carefully ease his way up with his boot and crutches. Barely a hand’s breadth between us, he stood with his back to the stairs as I stared up at him. 

“Why waste your time trying to make such a good impression?” I couldn’t take my eyes away from his face. I realized suddenly just how much taller than me he was.

“Consider it a long term investment.”

“Why invest in that?”

He edged around me and set off down one of the hallways. “Show me the house, Feyre darling. Isn’t that what we came up here to do?”

I could think of other things. The thought coalesced inside my mind, unbidden. I was the only one who lived on the third floor of this house. Those things I was thinking of doing . . . wouldn’t be difficult to accomplish here.

Nope. No, no, no. Not an option. 

But as I followed Rhys down the corridor, I couldn’t help. . . wondering what it would be like. Kissing him, touching him, calling him mine. . . 

“Archeron! You coming? I don’t actually know where I’m going.”

I puffed out my cheeks. Shit.

We worked our way through all the bedrooms and living rooms on the second floor and finally made it to the staircase that led to my room, alone on the third floor. It was quite a spacious room, actually, with an amazing attached bathroom. What I didn’t realize was how Rhys would get up the extremely narrow staircase. Technically, the third floor had been something like the servants’ quarters a hundred years ago, now remodeled and modernized. But the fact remained that the staircase was much too narrow for Rhys to get up with his crutches. 

“You don’t have to see my room. I’m so sorry, I didn’t even think about it,” I said, glancing down at his foot.

He set his crutches against the wall. “I’m seeing your room, Feyre,” he said confidently.

I raised my eyebrows. “Well, okay then. Do you want to go first?”

“I can walk perfectly fine, Feyre. Chill.” 

“Boys,” I muttered under my breath. 

“What was that?”

“Nothing, nothing. Just get your ass up the stairs.”

“Bossy. I like a woman in charge.”

“Get your ass up the stairs, Rhysand!” 

He chuckled. And began his slow ascent. It wasn’t that he was weak, it was that his boot was big and clunky and he wasn’t technically supposed to put his weight on it very often, according to Madja. On the narrow staircase, maneuvering the boot would be difficult. But he made his way up, giving me an extremely convenient view of his ass through his jeans as he climbed. I followed him until we reached the top and then squeezed past him on the tiny landing.

“Prepare to be amazed. My father ensured I had the room of my dreams even though I’ve never truly lived here. Parental guilt for not really providing for me all through high school.” 

Rhys stood, arms crossed, waiting. 

I sighed. This felt strangely intimate. I’d never had a boy in my room before. I mean sure, Tamlin had visited my dorm a few times but because he was older we had almost always ended up at his place at night. And my room wasn’t really “lived in” seeing as I’d never lived in the house. But it was mine, and I’d gotten to choose all the decorations, all the pictures… everything. 

“Okay.” I turned the door handle and stepped briskly into my room, eager to get this over with. 

Rhys hobbled inside, his gaze floating over the white-covered, four poster bed pushed against the far wall, two large windows on either side. His gaze floated over the dark wood floors, covered by a gray rug under my bed and a pale blue one under the sitting area, complete with a fireplace, couch, and two arm plush grey armchairs. It floated over my bookshelf, filled with all the books I didn’t have room for in my townhouse back at school. And landed on the grey walls, covered with paintings.

Every one of them painted by me. 

There were landscapes, and abstracts, and a few canvases covered only with my favorite book or movie quotes.  

He stepped into the center of the room and halted, turning in place, staring at the paintings. “Did you paint all of these?”

I leaned against my door. “Yeah…” 

He kept looking. 

“That bad, huh?” 

He tore his gaze from the walls of my bedroom. “What? No. The exact opposite. This is--these are-- These are amazing, Feyre. I had no idea you were a painter.”

“I’ve sort of run out of time for it in college. Haven’t painted since. . .” I hadn’t really painted since Tamlin and I had gotten together. “Since the beginning of my freshman year. I miss it,” I said, and suddenly felt the urge to march downstairs and into the garage to retrieve all my old paint buckets, brushes, and the canvases that I knew were waiting for me. 

“Wow. I’d pay money for one of these. You have an incredible talent, Feyre.”  His eyes alighted on the painting hung above my fireplace. “Is that your mother?”

I nodded, smiling a little. “I painted it based off of a picture of her my dad has. She died before I really picked up the hobby. But that’s her.”

“She’s beautiful.”

I nodded and decided it was safe to enter the room. My paintings were a part of my soul. And I realized that if Rhys had looked at them and insulted them, or worse, just skated over their existence, I would have been crushed. Thank goodness he hadn’t. I collapsed onto my bed. I was suddenly exhausted from the morning practice that felt like it had been days ago and the following four hour drive spent with Rhys. He limped over and sat next to me as I stared up at the ceiling. 

“This is why you were so nervous to bring me up here?” He asked softly.

I nodded. 

“Anyone would be crazy not to be impressed by your art.”

“It was kind of a weird hobby to have in high school. I mostly kept it to myself. Not sure why the kids at my school thought painting in your spare time was weird.”

He was silent for a moment, as though debating what to say. Then-- “Well I, personally, find painting in your spare time to be hot.” 

I sat up, my face coming within inches of his. If I moved forward just a bit, my lips would meet his. 

“Incredibly hot,” he went on. 

It was almost as if my body was leaning forward of its own accord.

“In fact, it might be one of the hottest things I’ve ever heard.”

I rolled my eyes. “Now you’re just making things up.”

He smiled and I might have melted a little bit.

“Maybe.” I could feel his breath on my cheek. Minty. Was there anything about him that wasn’t perfect? 

I leaned closer. Consequences be damned. We were inches apart, so close my eyelids had fluttered closed, when--

“Feyre! Dinner!”

“Shit,” he whispered.

I swallowed. “We should go.”

He nodded. “Mmhm.”

I led him back across the landing and down the stairs. I’d reached the bottom step when he swore (again) and---

“Shit!” 

I almost felt him trip before he stumbled forward, and I whirled around, gripping his shoulders in an effort to steady him at the bottom of the stairs. His hands reached out and grabbed my waist as he regained his balance. 

“You good?” I asked, breathing more heavily than I should have been. Heat flared up and down my body from where his hands had set themselves around my middle. 

“Yeah. Sorry.” 

He still hadn’t let go. I didn’t want him to. 

“Dinner. We have to go eat dinner. Your father probably thinks I’m doing unspeakable things to you right now, Feyre darling.”

Heat flooded my cheeks again. “Right.” And shaking my head, I released his shoulders and as I walked down the stairs to the kitchen, I chided myself for my weakness, for the desire to kiss him that had been growing steadily all day, all week. 

------

Later that night, after a tense dinner with my father, I came downstairs after my shower to find Rhysand and my dad shouting at the television together. Prythian University’s men’s basketball team was on the screen, playing some school I’d never really heard of. Rhys and my father were berating the referees as I took a seat on the couch next to Rhys--a healthy two feet away from him.

Just to be sure.

“I didn’t realize either of you were so invested in college basketball…”

Rhys tore his eyes away from the screen to gape at me, openmouthed. “You go to Prythian and you don’t care about our basketball team? They were in the top four in the country last year.”

I shrugged. “I’m just not that into it.”

“I can’t believe I’m friends with you.” He placed a special emphasis on the word “friends.” I prayed my father didn’t notice his change of tone.

“Hey!”

My dad chimed in. “Can’t say I blame him, Feyre. Neglecting to educate you in team sports has been the biggest regret of my life.”

“Oh, please. You’re both making me feel like public enemy number one in my own house.” 

Rhys poked me in the side and I hissed, then settled back on the couch for the next hour as the pair of new-best-friends shouted and raged and cheered at the screen until, in double-overtime, Prythian won out. 

“Thank God that’s over,” I mumbled, although I was secretly happy Prythian had come out on top in the end.

“I’m dragging you to a basketball game when we get back to campus. Athletes get free tickets. You know that right?”

“Of course I know that.” Nevermind that I’d never used that particular advantage.

My dad stood up. “Well, kids, I’m headed to bed. Feyre, Rhys knows where his room is, right?” He gave me a look. Then bestowed another, different look, on Rhys.

“Yes, Dad. Good night.” I narrowed my eyes and he (thankfully) departed quickly. 

That left Rhys and me, alone in the dark living room. Nesta and Elain had gone off to bed hours ago.  An awkward silence ensued. 

“Well,” I stood. “I guess I should get to bed.”

Rhys followed suit. “Yep,” he said lamely. 

As he crutched after me toward the staircase, I spoke up, just to break the silence between us that hadn’t been there moments before. “I can’t believe how fast you charmed my father.”

He chuckled. “I hate to be so predictable, but I am a man and I do love televised sports.”

I sighed. “I’m not judging.”

We made it to the top of the stairs and I walked him to his room. He paused in the doorway. “I really am grateful though, despite your rather unfortunate lack of interest in sports. Grateful you invited me here.”

“What are teammates for?” I said, remembering what he’d asked me on that night a month ago. 

He smiled a little, as though remembering that night too. “Good night, Feyre.”

“Good night, Rhys.”

It was difficult to refrain from inviting him up to my room to… just to have him near me. But I made myself turn away from him and climb the narrow staircase to my solitary bedroom at the top of the house. 

I’d just crawled into bed when a text came through on my phone. I lunged for the nightstand, knocking my phone to the floor in the process. Relieved that no one had been around to witness such a display of grace and decorum, recognizing how obviously desperate I was for Rhys to text me, I reached down, scooped up my phone, and pulled up my messages.

Tamlin Spring: I heard you took Rhys home with you for Thanksgiving

All the air left my body. 

Tamlin Spring: You never took me home to meet your family. I didn’t realize you were such a slut. Did a year with me mean nothing to you?

Tamlin Spring: I would take you back--if you got on your knees in front of me and begged 

Tamlin Spring: You were only ever good on your knees, anyway

Now it felt as though all the blood had left my body too. 

I threw my phone against the room. I sat up in my bed, face in my hands. I should just ignore his messages and leave it alone. He had no right to comment on what I was doing. Who had even told him I’d invited Rhys home with me for Thanksgiving, anyway? Besides, it was just friends helping friends. Rhys being here didn’t mean anything. It certainly didn’t make me a slut.

But as my phone buzzed again, and then again, as I tried to shut my eyes and shut out what he’d said. . . I couldn’t stop rereading his texts inside my head. Was I just a slut? A traitor for having these feelings for Rhys so soon after ending things with Tamlin?

He would still take me back? Like that was going to happen. But. . . I remembered what he’d said when he’d kidnapped me and forced me to drink…. Something about just giving me space, as though he didn’t think we were actually broken up...

But if he was telling me I was a slut over a text… He’d probably spread that rumor to the rest of the team by now. Along with a story about how I was a cheater too. After I’d worked so hard to stay out of the drama and sexual intrigue so abundant on my swim team. Against my will, tears leaked from between my fingers.

My phone buzzed for a third time and I dragged myself out of bed to retrieve it. I was determined to silence it and cry myself to sleep, but instead of another text from Tamlin, three from Rhys popped up.

Rhys: What was that bang? 

Rhys: I’m in the room underneath yours, I think

Rhys: FEYRE ARE YOU ALIVE

As I read them, another popped up.

Rhys: Don’t make me come up there

I started typing my response, telling him I was fine and to go to bed when a soft knock sounded at my door. I padded over to it and pulled it open.

“How did you get up here so fast?” I whispered.

“Texted as I walked. Obviously.”

“Well you didn’t need to waste the trip. I threw my phone at the ground.”

“Your phone is enormous. The bang caused the elaborate chandelier over my bed to swing ominously. I feared for my life.” He was teasing me. But then the smile melted from his face as he noticed what I was wearing. 

A large grey t-shirt that came to rest mid-thigh. And nothing else. I didn’t even have it in me to blush, I was so intent on not letting him see the tears left on my face. He looked down only for a moment, though, before his gaze settled firmly above my neckline. 

“Thanks for checking on me, Rhys.” I turned to go.

Slut. The word echoed through my mind. I was sure to return to the team to find myself at the center of all the gossip. What would Cassian and Mor think? Would they believe the rumors? We hadn’t been friends for long. I’d barely interacted with Amren and Azriel at this point. They’d surely believe the rumors. 

Rhys caught my arm, taking a few steps farther into my room. “Feyre. What’s wrong? Why did you throw your phone at the floor?”

I had no idea why I gave up so easily, but I brandished my phone at him. He took it from me and I stared at the wall beside his head as he found the texts from Tamlin and read them. 

“What. An. Asshole,” he said through gritted teeth.

“It’s fine.”

He gave my phone back to me. “No, no it’s not. He needs to leave you the fuck alone. He’s not your boyfriend anymore.”

Now I really did turn away. “I don’t need the encouragement, Rhys. He’s right, yeah? I’m just a slut. Moving on way too quickly.”

He raced around to stand in front of me. “No. You are not a slut. Your relationship is over. You ended it the right way. And for good reason, too.  Nothing he just texted you has an ounce of truth to it. You should block him and forget about it.”

I didn’t say anything, just kept my eyes glued to the ground. I didn’t trust myself to look at him. I’d probably try to act on my “slutty tendencies” if I looked into his violet eyes. 

Two fingers hooked under my chin and pulled my face up to his. “Feyre. I promise you. You’re doing nothing wrong.” 

I couldn’t stop the fresh tears that escaped me. How had a few text messages from an asshole managed to upset me so much? Or maybe I was crying in relief that Rhys was so vehemently disagreeing with what Tamlin had sent. Either way, the tears kept coming as he looked at me. And then, slowly--so very slowly--he removed his fingers from my chin and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me toward him. 

I stood there for a moment as he held me, arms hanging uselessly at my sides. And then I hugged him back, my arms coming up and over his shoulders to wrap around his neck. I slid one hand into his soft black hair. “Thanks for coming for me,” I whispered. “And I don’t just mean tonight.” 

He huffed out a breath. “Anytime.” 

I didn’t let go for a long, long time. Until I realized…

“Where the hell is your boot?”

He pulled back, his hands still resting lightly on my waist. “Uh…”

“Rhysand Night!” I whacked his arm. “You walked up here without your boot! Don’t you want to heal?!” 

He put his hands on his hips. It was then that I noticed he wasn’t putting a whole lot of weight on his injured foot. “I heard a large thump and came up here prepared to defend you from a murderer or something, and this is how you thank me?”

I pushed him backward, forcing him to take a seat on my bed. “I can kill my own murderers, thank you very much. Now sit. I’m going to get your boot right now.”

But he reached out and grabbed my hand, pulling me roughly toward him so I stood between his legs. My hands came to rest on his shoulders to steady myself. “I’m trying to make sure you can train sooner rather than later, you know,” I managed to say, but the thrill at being so close to him like this was overriding nearly every other thought in my mind.

“I’m a big boy. I can handle it.” 

And then he kissed me. 

I was stunned for only a moment before my hands moved from his shoulders to thread through his silky black hair. His lips pressed against mine, so soft. His kiss was firm, neither too gentle nor too rough, and mere seconds passed before his tongue traced my lips and I opened my mouth, letting him in. 

His tongue swept in and he inched back on the bed, keeping his mouth firmly planted against mine, pulling me onto the bed after him. His size hit me again, then. I was so small compared to him. He removed his lips from mine and he eased me onto my back. Turning, he leaned over me and his mouth claimed mine again, this time slightly more eager, as his right hand moved from my hair, down my side, coming to rest at my waist. I kept one hand firmly entangled in his hair while the other ran down his chest. He was so damn muscular. 

I’d always been a sucker for swimmer’s bodies. 

He pulled away for a moment. “So…”

I let out an irritated squeak of protest, but he slipped a hand beneath my shirt and flattened it against my stomach. I shut up. 

“Earlier you said something about moving on too quickly.” His hand slid up a little bit.

“Hmm, I don’t recall…” I breathed, in a very futile attempt to hide how desperate I was for him to keep touching me, kissing me. More, more, more, I wanted.

His hand inched up, his thumb now caressing the skin just beneath my breasts. I was definitely not wearing a bra.

“What did you mean by that, Feyre darling?”

I tried desperately to suck down a breath as his hand slid up. . . 

“Aren’t you smart enough to figure that out yourself, Rhysand?”

“Rhysand? You cruel, beautiful thing.” 

His hand flattened against my breast and I lost all control as I pulled him down to kiss him again. 

He smiled against my lips, and the joy that flooded through my body as a result of his happiness was almost better than how good it felt to feel his hands on my body, his lips on mine, his weight against me. Almost… 

We stayed like that for quite a while, kissing, not going much farther, before he crawled under the covers, tucked me against him, and we fell asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TAGS:))

@sleeping-and-books​  @musicalfae​

[typicalmidnightsoul]

𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓒𝓻𝓸𝔀𝓷 𝓟𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓬𝓮𝓼𝓼- Chapter 11

𝕀𝕥 𝕚𝕤 𝕞𝕪 𝕘𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕤𝕥 𝕙𝕠𝕟𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕥𝕠 𝕓𝕖 𝕙𝕖𝕣

I am not a victim of my life, what I went through pulled a warrior out of me and it is my greatest honour to be her- Rupi Kaur

IT HAS BEEN SO LONG AND MY LAZY ASS ISTG I AM SO SORRY I APOLOGIZE DEEPLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!! hopefully I will start to update more frequently <3 <3 i LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH

Annabeth needed answers. She sat on her prayer mat. The room she was in was made and used only for prayers and readings of the holy book, there roof was able to disappear on command so it could be used to talk to the owner of the skies. Annabeth looked up at the night sky filled with stars and whispered. “Oh Lord of the skies, you see all, you are omniscient, please only you can provide answers to a grandmother wanting to protect her grandchild. Only you.” She picked up the dagger Nesta had gotten from Cassian. A dagger she had kept all these years, she had taken it from Nesta’s armoire. This was the first gift between two mates. The first offering, albeit it was unknown to the both of them but it held a significant meaning. She touched it and instantly went into a trance.

 Devlon stood in front of Cassian. “Don’t lie to her Cassian.” “You saw the threat, Devlon.” Cassian’s voice broke. “She is in love with you,” Devlon’s voice was disbelieving. “I know…I know.” “You are going to hand her over to that-to that monster?!” “I don’t own her… she’d never forgive me if I didn’t” his final whisper rang out the vision.

Annabeth was pushed out as a voice said, “Let it be, Mamma.” Annabeth let out a cry, “Addie!! Adelaide…are you here?!!” A figure made of some light stood in front of her. It was Adelaide Archeron’s ghost.

She smiled as her image stuttered a bit the blue glow around her fading.

Annabeth walked forward, “Is it really you Addie?”

Adelaide nodded, her image stuttered again this time more violently, “I can’t stay long Mamma. I-I’ve spent most of my energy protecting Nesta through the transition.”

“That was you..?” Annabeth stepped towards her but a fear in her daughter’s eyes held her back.

“Addie what have you given to be here?”

Adelaide smiled sadly, “My family needed me. I had to do it. I… I can talk to you for a short time only if you need me…But whenever I touch anyone living who I love to protect them with my powers…It pains me…my aura dims.”

Annabeth shook her head at the cruelty. Adelaide had to protect Nesta through her… ‘transition’ as she called it and the only way she could’ve been able to protect a living person was only if she touched them.

She would not let her daughter’s sacrifice go to waste.

“I need answers my love, what should I do?”

Adelaide’s smile died, “You know what you need to do, Mamma. You have been avoiding it because you fear what happened to me will happen to Nesta.”

Annabeth stiffened, “Is it wrong I want to protect my grandchild?”

“Yes. If you never let go then she won’t be able to survive this. You tried to stop the prophecy before and you not only tried to stop the inevitable you were punished…I died and you never found out. Don’t let that happen to Nesta. She grew up alone just keep on reminding her that…I-” a tear slid down her face-“That you are there for her.”

The door opened softly and Vera stepped in, Adelaide smiled at the sight of her mother-in-law.

“Hello Addie, I sensed you were here.”

Adelaide smiled, “Hello Mama Vera.”

Vera smiled sadly, “It’s time isn’t it?”

Adelaide nodded at her and turned to her mother as her image started fading.

“It’s time you told Nesta the truth Mamma.”

“You need to tell her the prophecy.”

The blue glow was the last thing left in the room, the remnants of a person who does not live.

-----------------

6 Months Later

Feyre was expecting the Royal Family of Rask to come to the River Estate. She smiled as she expected Nesta to be in front of the door but there was only a frantic Jonah.

“Nesta is gone.”

Feyre hadn’t seen Nesta since the… outburst in Illyria. But she expected her to be in Rask at the least.

“What do you mean she’s gone?”

“Gone…disappeared. Poof.”

“Jonah Astor Archeron you are a mated male, a husband and a father. I do not expect you to use the word ‘Poof’.”

His mate Caroline came up behind him. She turned to Feyre,

“There is an explanation to Nesta’s disappearance.”

“An explanation that no one has told me! Where is she Caro?”

Jonah was exasperated, to say the least. He turned to Feyre,

“Can’t you use your voo doo magic to find her?”

Feyre tried to find words to explain her ‘voo doo’ magic-

“OK FINE! Another person who doesn’t give a shit about Nesta! I’ll just go to Helion or Eris.”

Feyre and Caro both exclaimed at once “HEY”

And Jonah turned around, “What?”

Caro spoke first “we get you’re worried about Nesta… we are too.”

Feyre added, “And I am worried about her…it’s just…if Nesta wants to stay lost to us then she will. We can’t stop that.”

Jonah sneered, “Is that what you told yourself when you exiled a rape survivor to a sexist camp where what a male says goes?”

Feyre felt night flicker behind her as Rhysand appeared, as her whole family did.

Elain said, “Jonah that is not fai-”

Annabeth winnowed next to Jonah.

“Now, now children. Let’s not fight.”

She turned to Feyre as Vera gave a nod and look of heavy approval to Jonah’s comment.

“We need to talk.”

------------

They all sat down as Rhys waved a hand at the book in Annabeth’s hand.

“What is that? Its power is interfering with mine.”

Annabeth smiled “this is the holy book.” Her smile died “It holds a prophecy that holds the destiny of everyone in this room.”

Well straight to the point then. Audrey thought.

The colour drained from everyone’s face.

Vera said, “Nesta asked us to not tell you because and I quote ‘they’ve been through too much with the war’-”

“She did?” Elain asked, astonished.

Vera nodded, “Yes she did but we… well we don’t really care.”

“No!” Annabeth said, “We do care but we feel it is necessary for you to know.”

“Sure.” Vera said under her breath

Annabeth touched the covers of her book.

“Brace yourselves.” Was the only warning as she opened the book and a glow appeared a voice that seemed like time itself spoke.

 When the moment comes that rivers run dry, a surrender shall usher forth the return of dragons. Once the sky burns with fire, the banished one shall bring the rise of hope and an age of magic.

 When the time comes that lightning strikes twice, a challenge shall bring forth the rise of a new evil

 It shall be on the day that rivers run dry, a silver haired woman shall usher forth an age of tranquillity and an age of anarchy. Upon the day the moon turns bright, the accused shall bring forth the return of monsters.

 Once what's shrouded is revealed, the lost one shall bring forth the end of peace

 Two kingdoms of brutality and riches and culture will join in matrimony and grandeur.

 There comes a day when the dark one returns, a broken heart shall bring forth the rise of a kingdom and a shift in power.

  Feyre shivered.

“It’s not talking about Nesta is it…?”

“I am afraid it is.”

Jonah let out a breath, “When-when I saw her in the market…she had the under layer of her hair coloured silver. I asked her if she got it dyed but…”

Caro held out her hand squeezing her mate’s,

“That wasn’t a choice baby.”

He looked at her fear shining in her eyes,

“It’s started? My sister…”

Elain let out a jagged breath and turned to Azriel.

“The last line of the prophecy, ‘When the day comes that what's shrouded is revealed,’ do you think that’s the coffin I saw in my dreams?”

Everyone stilled.

Feyre stood, “You’re having more dreams?”

Elain nodded and took a pen and paper from a nearby table.

And wrote ‘ignis caelestis’.She handed it to Vera,

“That is what was written on the side.”Vera’s hands shook as she passed the sheet to Annabeth.

“The celestial fire.” She translated.

Feyre shot a questioning look at Rhys who shook his head. He didn’t know.

Before Feyre could ask a knock broke the silence.

Luna stormed in, Lily and Audrey behind her.

“We found Nesta-“

“Where?!” Vera demanded shooting up.

All colour drained out of Audrey’s face and Feyre noticed the shadows that had settled over the days of searching for Nesta.

“Last we heard she was talking to Helion. She was showing him the scroll of the prophecy.”

Vera smiled and turned to Annabeth, “See Anna. I told you my granddaughter wouldn’t do anything stupid.”

She turned back to Audrey, “Well come on then let’s go.”

“We can’t,” Lily said.

“Helion has shut the golden city. Everyone except him and his ministers and Nesta have been evacuated with immediate effect.”

------------

Cassian slammed the wall. He shouldn’t even have been in Velaris today but after hearing the Rask royal family were coming for dinner he had forced himself to go. The coiling feeling of unease in his gut begged him not to.

He should’ve listened.

And now…God knows what was happening.

A little messenger boy came bustling in as if he had been forced to do send the bad news.

“Um my King, I-I-“

Cassian tried a grim smile, “Can I help you?”

“Um- there have been sightings of the High Lord of Dawn and Autumn and the Princess of Adriata entering the golden city.”

Cassian furrowed his brows, “I- just the princess of Adriata? Not the High Lord? Are you sure of this information?”

“Yes sire.”

At the same time Azriel winnowed into his office Lady Vera at his side, and nodded at the boy.

Cassian knew he had bad news from the look on his face.

“What now?!” He fumed.

Azriel’s eyes were filled with sadness as Vera said.

“Cassian we need you to come with us. Please don’t say no. We need to see your father.”

@mis-lil-red

@wannawriteyouabook

@absolute-dissapointment

@skychild29

@aesthetics-11

@perseusannabeth

[mardereads19]

Elain Did Not “Ditch” Nesta

Dedicated to the girl of the week <3

Because I have read this argument several times I feel the need to write this post so that I can stop engaging and simply have somewhere to send people to. 

First of all, I want to say that this will not bash any of the Archerons. I will only demonstrate how Nesta pushed everyone away (including Elain) and how she then twisted that into “Elain abandoning her.” But Nesta is and has been my favorite character since book one, so my intent is not to throw shade at her. Both sisters dealt with their trauma the way they knew how, be it a positive or negative way (it’s not what I’ll be analyzing). My purpose here is to highlight how much Elain did care about Nesta and sought her out.

Let’s get started!

1. Siblings make mistakes

It’s important to acknowledge that Elain and Nesta are sisters. There is miscommunication, fights, and selfishness between siblings sometimes and that is okay. Additionally, characters are imperfect, too. Therefore, yes, both sisters made mistakes regarding their interpretation of the other or were too frustrated to understand what the other might have been feeling/thinking in doing something. 

For example, Elain failed to comprehend that Nesta had deeper emotions keeping her away from everyone else. However, that doesn’t mean she loved her or sought her out any less, as I will prove soon.

Elain got angry and frustrated that Nesta kept to herself instead of joining them. Elain could have been more empathic and tried to place herself in Nesta’s shoes. 

But she still reached out her hand for Nesta, as you will see. 

Nesta, for her part, failed to understand that Elain was still readjusting to her new life and coping with her trauma in a different way than Nesta’s.

Whereas Nesta needed music and drink to drown out the hurt, Elain had needed quiet and the comfort of her family (just like she had at the beginning of Acowar). Nesta expected Elain to join her in her isolated loud life, but it was not fair to expect that from Elain. Especially since when Nesta had been helping Elain, the latter had not moved from the comforts Feysand offered them: their family, the tranquility. 

Nesta’s way of coping was too different from what Elain stands for: 

These are the mistakes I find pertinent for this post, but know that there are more when you look for them.

2. Elain caring about and knowing Nesta

Everything highlighted in pink represents Elain regarding Nesta. You’ll see she’s constantly worrying about her and seeking her. Also, that she knows Nesta.

She spent the first solstice speaking to Nesta until she left.

She was the only one (aside from Cassian) to get Nesta a gift during the first solstice. Not any gift either, but something Nesta would like. 

I think it is pertinent to mention that Nesta first began reading romance while Elain was still in shock, so the fact that Elain noticed even then says a lot about how observant she is and how much she loves Nesta. 

Elain was also the first to approach Nesta in their second Solstice. And she laughed when Nesta told her off for assuming she’d be an ass on Feyre’s birthday. She did not get angry or sad like Nesta had expected. 

Elain never stopped caring or reaching out for Nesta. 

But...

3. Nesta pushing everyone away (including Elain)

Nesta ignored Elain’s attempts to help her because she wanted distance from everyone. 

Here are a few scenes where Elain reached out for Nesta, but Nesta did not want anything to do with it:

She didn’t want to join them for anything. And like I said, she moved away to a slummy apartment to be alone.

She adds to all this in Acosf, too:

Here is this scene where Nesta explains how she avoided speaking to Elain when they saw each other in the market. Elain was ready to approach her but Nesta ran off.

And Elain held off the embrace, most likely because she didn’t know whether it would be alright with Nesta, especially after their last encounter when Nesta left without so much as a hello. Or maybe because Elain was still pained about it.

Nesta, obviously, got mad thinking Elain could no longer fathom the thought of hugging her, but that thought comes as a result of the mentality she created:

4. Nesta claiming Elain “chose” Feyre

Here’s where it gets murky. 

Nesta sees Elain staying with Feyre and being happy with her circle and the wraiths as Elain “choosing” Feyre over her. 

The thoughts are coming from a place of loneliness and pain, but that loneliness was self-imposed. Nesta pushed everyone away. She did not want to see that instead of closing the door on them, Nesta needed to hold on tighter to her family and friends. 

The “Elain chose Feyre” mentality is immature and there to cover up the fact that she drifted apart from her sister and not the other way around.

The key to understanding this, lies in Amren (she infuriated me in this book, but there were still some good things coming from her).

5. Nesta repeating the cycle with Amren

Like she had been with Elain, we see Nesta being closer to Amren than to anyone:

Elain no longer convinced Nesta. Now it was only Amren.

Amren caring about Nesta:

Then Nesta pushing Amren away and claiming she chose Feyre:

See how it is very similar to Elain? Amren cared about Nesta, but since she didn’t do things the way Nesta wanted them, Nesta broke their relationship and then claimed it was Amren who chose her sister over her. 

Nevertheless, Amren tells Nesta something that the readers should apply to every relationship Nesta broke off because it is the explanation to everything. What Amren says also applies to Nesta’s relationship to Elain.

Amren disproving the “you chose Feyre” argument:

Amren straight up told her “I was trying to help you, but you didn’t like how or with who so you blame me?” And that is exactly what Nesta did. And she did the same thing with Elain.

Nesta acknowledging that:

Conclusion:

Even Nesta kept saying throughout the book phrases like “Nesta had seen to that -the destruction” or “she had never found the words to explain -why she’d put such distance between them all” and still somehow flip it to it being their faults. 

She contradicts herself.

It is not something I bash her for because it is easily something anyone can do, but I do point it out because it means that looking at it objectively, Elain never “ditched” Nesta or even “chose” Feyre. It means Nesta did it all by herself and put the blame on the world knowing it wasn’t true. 

I don't understand how anyone can read the book and think Elain was cruel to Nesta or that she didn’t care when the quotes are right there. It is not selective reading either, because like I said, sisters fight, sisters say things they don’t mean out of anger. Sisters miscommunicate. But that doesn’t mean they stopped loving or caring about each other. 

If you read the book and got angry because Elain did not move to the slummy apartment with Nesta, did not accompany her to those taverns Elain didn’t feel comfortable in, or did not support Nesta in getting drunk and wasting away, then you are putting toxic expectations on Elain. The fact that Nesta was there with Elain when she was in shock does not mean Elain must put aside her own happiness (family and friends) to follow Nesta into an unhealthy atmosphere. Especially when Elain never made Nesta do those things to help her (they were both under the comforts provided by Feysand) and when Elain herself was still coping and readjusting. 

And when it was just proved how Elain was constantly seeking and inviting Nesta, but Nesta ignored it or pushed her away.

The fact that Nesta recognized her mentality was wrong and that Amren did not “choose” Feyre over her lets me know she recognized the same thing regarding Elain. The point of seeing her apologize to Amren was to show us how she acknowledged her attitude was childish and how she came to comprehend Amren did care for her and did not choose anyone over her. That she had been trying to help. 

In the end, both sisters are happy and reunited. Both sisters came to an understanding. Nesta stopped believing Elain didn’t care and that she chose Feyre. 

So you should, too.

[emdythewriter]

A new light | chapter twelve (Elriel)

Elain was giddy as she walked out of the office that day. Ready for the weekend and to get away from Vivianne’s nagging. She knew exactly the reason for Elain’s smile that day and Vivianne wasn’t going to let up until she spilled all her secrets.

“It’s about fucking time!” Elain’s friend had shouted, causing eyes to turn in their directions and bringing a bright red color to her cheeks. “He was good right? Please tell me he was good otherwise I will be very disappointed,” Vivianne continued not even caring all that much that she had embarrassed her friend.

“He was very good,” Elain said quietly, ducking her head, eyes trained on her lap as her face heated even more. Any hotter and she was likely to explode the whole building along with herself.

“Thank god you both finally pulled your heads out of your asses,” Vivianne said with no remorse.

“Hey!” Elain shouted, eyes blinking up to her smiling and giddy friend.

“Sorry, but it’s true,” Vivianne said and Elain knew that it was true. Her and Az had spent too long going in circles and never catching each other. It felt good to finally be able to catch her breath. “I’m so happy for you.”

“Thank you,” Elain said and pulled her friend into a tight hug. She hugged her until they were on the verge of being yelled at for not doing their jobs. Elain could see her boss giving them the stink eye through the glass of her office.

Elain smiled at the memory as she waited for Azriel on the corner. It was busy, the streets crowded as people rushed out of the office and to the closest restaurant for take out. A few people moved out of her way and as soon as they did she met a pair of the most beautiful hazel eyes she had ever seen.

Azriel smiled as he crossed the street and made his way to Elain. Grabbing her waist he pulled her into his chest and kissed, a kiss that they both had been deprived of for years. “I’ve been waiting to do that all day,” he whispered against her lips once he pulled back.

“I missed you too,” Elain said, smoothing a crease in his shirt just for the excuse to casually run her hands over his chest.

“Ready to go home?” Azriel asked, grabbing her hand. Elain nodded, wrapping her another hand around his arm as they began their trek back to their apartment complex.

___

After going to Elain’s apartment so she could grab what she needed for the weekend, and maybe having sex a couple times on her couch, they made their way to Az’s place. As she settled herself into his room and bathroom he began to pull out things for dinner.

Elain liked to eat right after work so he made sure there was also a bag of chips out for her to snack on while he cooked. Azriel figured tonight would just be a simple night. He grabbed out the ingredients he needed to make an asian dish Feyre had taught him to make after she made it on a night he came over for dinner.

“What are you making,” Elain asked as she came out of the bathroom wearing a pair of sweats and a Third Eye Blind shirt that belonged to him. Az smiled, seeing her in his clothes just made him want to hoist her onto the counter and pull off said clothes. Elain went straight for the bag of chips, placing herself on a barstool at the island while she watched him.

“Egg roll in a bowl,” Az said as he reluctantly pulled his eyes from hers and back to the ground beef he was cooking. The recipe was simply a bag of lettuce from the grocery store, ground beef, and some seasonings.

“Perfect,” Elain said in between munching on chips.

“You want to pick a movie while I cook?” Az asked, looking over his shoulder to see her. She was taking the clasp out of her hair so she could pull it into a messy bun. Az watched her until almost every strand was off her neck, it wouldn’t stay up too much longer if he had any say about it.

“Sure,” she said, taking her bag of chips with her as she went to the living room. Elain turned on the TV and started scrolling through Netflix. “How do you feel about docuseries?” She asked, looking over at him from the couch.

“They’re fine I guess,” Az said as he poured the beef into the lettuce mixture and started adding the seasoning before mixing it all together. “Why? Did you find one you want to watch?”

“Nesta mentioned that she and Cassian started watching this show called Tiger King last night,” Elain said. She was sitting on her knees, arms crossed over the back of the couch as she leaned her head on them.

“Isn’t that show supposed to be crazy or something?” Az had heard Cassian mention it earlier when they all had sat down in Rhys’s office for lunch today.

“Yeah and my curiosity is getting the better of me,” Elain said as her brown eyes pleaded with him.

“Then that’s fine with me,” he watched as she smiled brightly, turning to face the TV once more. He loved that he could make her smile like that, it made him smile more than he had in a very long time and it was only ever around her that he did. Even when they were seeing other people Elain Archeron always managed to bring out his true smile.

Az scooped out their servings after turning off the stove. Grabbing two bottles of water from the fridge and tucking them under his arm he made his way to the living room.

“Thank you,” Elain said as she took the bowl he handed to her along with the water. Az sat down next to her and she scooted closer so she could be tucked into his side. Once they were settled Elain started the first episode of the show.

Azriel didn’t expect them to actually pay attention to the documentary but next thing he knew they were three episodes in and about to start the fourth at ten o’ clock at night. “Is it just me or is this a show where you can’t not know what happens next?” Elain asked from his lap where she had laid her head after finishing her dinner.

“Oh it is a hundred percent one of those shows,” Azriel said and Elain chuckled.

“Onto the next?” She asked though he suspected she already knew his answer. They both found themselves sucked into the mayhem that is Tiger King from the very first second of the show.

“Babe we’re not starting until we finish it,” Az answered her.

“Then you better make some popcorn,” Elain responded. He hopped up from the couch, moving her head out of the way first.

“As you wish,” he said, quoting one of her favorite movies. It was the only quote he knew if he was being honest because it was his least favorite movie. Elain chuckled as he headed for the kitchen, taking their dirty bowls from dinner with him.

He grabbed a bag of kettle corn to put into the microwave before going on a search for a fresh bowl.

“What do you think about me moving in?” Elain asked out of nowhere. Azriel knocked his head on the top of the cupboard as he tried to shoot up in surprise. “Are you okay?” His girlfriend asked as he rubbed his head.

“I’m good,” he said, only wincing slightly at the pain. “But are you serious?” Az asked, looking at her wary face.

“I mean we both know that I’ll be here more than my own place after this weekend so why not go ahead and do it,” she shrugged as if this topic wasn’t a big deal. 

Azriel set his bowl on the counter before coming back to the couch and sitting next to her. He grasped Elain’s hands and looked into her brown eyes, his favorite feature of hers. “You want to move in with me?”

“Yes,” she said without pause but her face fell as she asked her next question. “Do you not want me to?”

“Of course I want you to,” Azriel assured her. “I don’t want to spend any more time apart from you. We’ve done enough of that for a lifetime.”

“Then it looks like you have a new roommate,” Elain said with a smile, jumping into his lap. Azriel laughed, more happy than he ever thought he could be after finally winning her heart. She pressed him to the couch kissing him. He smiled into the kiss cupping the back of her head and exploring her mouth.

“I love you,” she whispered onto his lips.

“I love you,” Azriel answered and kissed her again. Their show was long forgotten as they became a tangle of limbs and happiness on that couch in the apartment that would soon be theirs rather than just his.

Tag list:

@thephilosophyofblank @roseteaofficial @sleeping-and-books @court-of-fuck-me-daddy @azriels-forgotten-shadow @tintinnabulary @jemma-nessian-and-elriel @cc-psm @chemicha @but-she-was-aelin-galathynius @ttakeitbacknoww @azrielismycinnamonrollprimary @mis-lil-red @poisonous00 @julesherondalex @acreativitydump @theogvodkaaunt @rapunzel1523 @l0sts0uls1128 @lord-douglas-the-third @musicalfae @sezkins79 @eloeloeheheh @caldelray @abimomeopectore @tswaney17 @wonderlandatemypancakes @loysydark @imheretooa @illyriangarbage @emmejo26 @amitynotpity @alingelina @unassumingsoda @hav-illi-ard @amylindle @ellenoftroy @hizqueen4life

(Let me know if you want to be tagged!)

[snelbz]

Never Have I Ever {Tag Team Prompt}

Another tag team prompt with @tacmc, this one based off of this wonderful submissionfrom @flora-and-fae:

Hey! Could we have a tag-team Nessian with a classic uh oh there’s only one bed and lots of sexual tension

The rain was so heavy that Cassian had no choice but to pull off at the small motel on the side of the road.

“What are you doing?”

His eyes dragged over to the aggravated voice in the passenger seat. Her blue grey eyes bored into him.

“Unless you’d prefer to die tonight, we have to stop. I can’t see and I don’t feel like wrecking my car.”

She rolled her eyes. “I asked one thing: get me home for break, but no, you can’t even do that.”

Cassian didn’t respond. He knew that if he did, he’d regret the words that came out of his mouth.

He and Nesta had both gone off to college in Adriata. She had asked him for a ride home for summer break when hers had broken down, and it had all been going well...until the rain began.

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “We don’t go back to school for 3 months. One more night away from home is not going to kill you. I’ll be back, stay here and keep the doors locked.”

With that, he opened the door and stepped out into the downpour, running towards the small main office of the motel. When Nesta realized that after a few seconds, she couldn’t see him in the dark, even through his headlights, she begrudgingly accepted that he may be right.

Though she would never tell him that.

She waited, foot tapping against the floorboards, arms crossed. By the time he came back, he was drenched.

With a curse, he shut the drivers side door and ran a hand through his dripping, shoulder length hair.

“Alright,” he said, pulling a room key out of his pocket.

Nesta blinked. “Where’s mine?”

Cassian laughed, outright. “I’m not going to spend money on two rooms. I’m a college student, broke off my ass. You want to spend $60 so you can sleep with a wall in between us? No. I’ll sleep on the floor.”

Nesta scowled. “You didn’t even get a room with two beds? Are you fucking kidding me?”

Cassian met her gaze and grinned. “They didn’t have one with two beds, princess. Were in the middle of nowhere at a damn motel.”

She only glared at him.

“If you want to grab some stuff out of your bag, I’d do it now. This rain won’t be letting up until tomorrow morning and I don’t care how pretty you are, once I’m in that room, I’m not coming back out.”

“You’re an ass,” she said, turning around to grab her backpack from the floorboard of the backseat. She unzipped her luggage and grabbed some necessities, a change of clothes, and her toiletries, stuffing them into the bag.

Cassian just grabbed his entire duffel bag and hauled it into his lap. “You ready, sweetheart?”

“Don’t call me that,” she growled.

“I’m so excited to share this experience with you,” he said, monotone, before throwing open his door and running up to the motel, under the awning.

He didn’t wait for Nesta before strutting down to a door, entering the key, and tossing it open.

Once he caught sight of a rain soaked-Nesta, scowling, tossing her things down onto the bed, he howled.

“You look like a drowned cat,” he said, leaning over and resting his hands on his knees as he laughed.

“Go to hell,” she breathed, trying not to let her dripping hair and clothes soak the bed. She announced, “I’m taking a shower first,” and walked into the bathroom, slamming the door.

Cassian groaned and ran a hand down his face. He pulled his clothes off, taking them over to the sink and ringing them out. He tied his hair back and pulled dry clothes on, flopping onto the bed and turning the television on. There were 3 channels and none of them got reception. He sighed and flipped the tv off, grabbing a book out of his bag and began to read.

He heard the door crack open and a quiet voice asked, “Cass?”

He knew that the use of his nickname probably meant she wanted something.

When she was nice, she always wanted something.

“Hmm?”

“Um, do you have an extra shirt?”

Cassian slowly closed his book. “You want to wear my shirt?”

“I don’t want to,” she snapped, returning to her charming self. “But unless you want me to walk around topless for the rest of the evening, I would like to borrow a shirt. Or, you could run back out to the car in the storm and get one of out my bag.”

Cassian laid back against the pillows and reopened his book. “Topless? Well, as long as I’m getting a choice-“

“Cassian!”

He chuckled and rose to his feet. “Fine.”

The door slammed back shut and he crouched by his bag, looking for a shirt that was suitable for her. Most of the shirts he had and had brought were from football and were torn or full of holes. He found one tucked in mthe corner of his bag and pulled it out, walked to the small connected bathroom and knocked on the door. It opened a crack and Nesta’s manicured hand appeared. He gave it to her and the door snapped shut again.

“You’re welcome,” he called and made his way back to the bed.

When she came out, her wet hair slicked back off her face, his light gray shirt reaching her mid thigh, completely hiding the short shorts she was wearing, his mouth dried up. He sat up, covering his groin with his book. He hadn’t thought about this when he agreed to book the room with one bed and now he cursed himself for it.

Nesta Archeron was the sexiest thing he’d ever seen and there was absolutely nothing in the room to distract themselves from each other.

She looked over her shoulder and caught him staring. She blinked. “What?”

“Nothing on tv,” he said, reaching, grasping for casual conversation.

She shrugged. “I was going to read, anyways.”

He cleared his throat. “I should ask the front desk for a few blankets and pillows. This floor is hard as hell.”

As he reached for the cordless phone on the nightstand — an unconventional choice for a motel phone — a large clap of thunder shook the building, and the lights went out.

“Shit,” he breathed, and picked up the receiver, pressing the button in vain and swearing under his breath. “The phone isn’t hardwired in. No power, no phone.”

Nesta stared him down for a long while. Cassian wasn’t fazed.

“Are you going to say something or-“

“Stay on your side of the bed,” she said, voice clipped. “If I feel your hand, I will slap you. If I feet your foot, I will slap you. If I feel something hard pressed up against my back in the middle of the night, you’ll be sleeping outside in the storm. Clear?”

Cassian grinned. “Yes ma’am.”

She climbed under the covers and he did the same, even though it wasn’t even 8:15.

“You know,” he said, into the dark. “We don’t have to go to sleep, we could always-.”

“Finish that sentence and I will personally cut your favorite part off.”

He continued, acting as if she hadn’t interrupted him. “I was trying to say we could play a game. Something to pass the time. I’m not tired.”

She didn’t want to admit it, but neither was she. “Games are for children, Cassian,” she said, then paused. “What kind of game?”

He took a minute to think. “Never have I ever.”

She rolled her eyes. “Isn’t that a game that includes alcohol?”

“It does,” he said and threw back the covers, going for his bag. He pulled out a mostly full bottle of whiskey and grabbed two of the cheap cups from the bathroom vanity.

“Why am I not surprised?” She asked and sat up, propping her pillow up behind her.

He sat back on the bed and poured a shot in the glass for each of them. “I’ll go first,” he announced and smirked at her, a devilish glint in his eye. “Never have I ever streaked across Greek Row.”

She blushed and threw him a vulgar gesture, before drinking it in one swallow.

She cringed, then shook her head. “You can’t use things you know I’ve done.”

He lifted a brow. “And why is that?”

“Because I’ll be drunk off my ass in five minutes.”

“Not my fault you can’t hold your alcohol.”

Blue-gray eyes narrowed. “Fine. Never have I ever fucked a professor, on campus, in her office.”

Cassian took a deep breath. “Okay. Who told you that. Rhys? Feyre. It was Feyre wasn’t it.”

Nesta gestured to his glass, delight contouring her lips. “Drink up.”

He tossed his head back, draining his glass in a second. “I hate to say that the professor incident wasn’t even the worst decision I made Freshman year.”

Nesta, despite herself, chuckled. Cassian refilled them both. “Okay, fine, we’ll play ‘fair’.” He said, throwing up air quotes. “Never have I ever had to pull an all-nighter before a final.”

“Bull shit,” she said, pointing at him. “There’s absolutely no way.”

He grinned. “Swear on my 3.3 GPA. I like to party, but I know how to study.”

She glowered, but took her shot regardless.

“Never have I ever sat drunk through a lecture.”

Cassian smiled, hazel eyes bright as he took a shot. “Fair enough.”

“Feeling the buzz yet?” She crooned.

“Oh no, sweetheart,” he winked. “I can go all night.”

She pursed her lips, ignoring his comment, the image it created in her mind, and the fire it sparked between her legs. “Never have I ever forgotten the name of the person in my bed the next morning.”

“Okay, one,” he said with a laugh. “It definitely wasn’t your turn, so drink.” He laughed as she scoffed, but poured another shot. “And two, I can tell you the name of every woman who’s been lucky enough to wake up in my bed, so that’s two shots.”

She shook her head, downing both shots. “I never considered you the gentlemanly type.”

He raised a brow. “I don’t sleep around, if that’s what you’re hinting at.”

She laughed, outright, body growing lighter. “Your professor?”

He tilted his head to the side, hazel eyes dancing. “Never have I ever had a sex dream about a friend.”

Nesta watched him for a minute, smile fading, before she took a shot.

Then, not to her surprise, Cassian took his, too.

She thought for a second. “Never have I ever sent a nude picture to someone.”

His eyebrows raised. “Never?”

She shook her head, surprised at how light headed she already felt, but she felt triumphant in this small victory. “Not a single one.”

“Well damn,” he breathed, and took the bottle from her hands, putting it to his lips. He took a long drag, longer than a single shot. “Never have I ever made out with someone of the same sex.”

Nesta threw her head back and groaned. “Oh, my God, it was one time!”

“Wait,” he said, eyes darkening as she took her shot. “You have?”

She wiped her lips and nodded. “Freshman year was a little wild.”

“Tell me about it,” he laughed.

Cassian took a minute to think before he said, “Never have I ever gotten drunk in a hotel room with a smoking hot piece of ass.”

Nesta laughed, covering her mouth with her hand to hide her teeth. “Now you’re feeling the shots, aren’t you?”

But he wasn’t laughing.

He reached up and gently took her hand in his, pulling it down into her lap. “Don’t cover your smile. It’s too beautiful to hide.”

She couldn’t breathe. His hand was still in hers and suddenly the room seemed far too hot and too cold, all at the same time. She whispered, “Maybe we should stop drinking.”

“Fine,” he said, taking another huge swig, but set the bottle on the nightstand. “Then we play for clothes. Ask me another.”

Her voice was shaking when she said, “Never have I ever ignored my feelings for someone for seven years.”

He looked her dead in the eyes as he pulled his shirt over his head. “Never have I ever wanted to kiss you.”

Her eyebrows furrowed as she said, “That doesn’t make any sense. If it was-.”

His lips were on hers before she could finish her sentence.

Her body tensed in surprise but it quickly relaxed as his tongue brushed along her bottom lip.

He pulled back, only an inch, looking into her eyes for any indication of what she was feeling.

But she had so many emotions swirling through her body - lust, fear, complete adoration - that she couldn’t decipher one from the other.

“Do that again,” she whispered, her voice much steadier than she felt.

He did. His tongue swept into her mouth and she clung to his bare shoulders, felt the hard muscles moving as he pulled her to him, until she was straddling his lap. He tasted like whiskey and mint and she groaned as he nipped at her bottom lip, gripping her hair tightly.

Her hands wandered steadily down his back, his skin warm beneath her touch.

She felt him twitch beneath her, his chest rising and falling quickly.

“Nesta,” he whispered, a question in her name.

But she wasn’t sure what exactly it was he was asking for. Sex? Love? Was he too drunk to even remember the details in the morning? Was she?

It was Cassian.

Cassian, whom she had known for years.

Cassian, whom she had always adored...a fact she could never fully accept.

She had no doubt every ounce of courage coursing through her body was thanks to the alcohol.

She kissed him, again.

He pulled her head back, exposing her throat and kissed down it until he got to the neck of her shirt, of his shirt. “Tell me to stop,” he breathed. “If you’re too drunk and this is just the alcohol, tell me to stop. If this is just a one time thing, tell me to stop.”

Nesta did no such thing.

She pushed him back against the pillows, her fingertips trailing from his hard jawline, down his chest, his abdomen, to the waistband of his sweatpants, low on his hips.

Cassian said nothing as he watched her, mouth hanging open, his whiskey-coated breathing hardly heard above the storm outside.

“Do you want me to stop?” She asked, quietly. “If I don’t want this to be just a one time thing?”

His eyes were glazed and dark, but his tone was light when he shook his head and said, “Never have I ever wanted someone as badly as I want you.”

Nesta’s breath caught in her throat. With shaky fingers, she lifted his tee shirt over her head, her breasts on display for him to worship.

A calloused thumb brushed over her nipple before he leaned up, bringing his lips to each one. Nesta’s eyelids fluttered shut at the sensation.

Her hands threaded into his hair, the strands still damp from the rain. When his teeth bit down on the sensitive nub, her grip tightened and she cried out. His tongue soothed the pain as he sucked and she ground her hips into his own, desperate for friction where she needed it.

Her voice was breathy when she asked, “What do you want, Cass?”

“You,” he whispered, into her ear. “All of you. I want to lie you down, and make love to you. All night. Every night. Now.”

Although there was a slight slur to his words, she felt the emotion. He meant every one of them.

“I-,” she hesitated, only for a moment. “I love you, Cassian. Gods, I’ve loved you since high school when you used to torment me on the bus. When you used to make fun of my cheerleading uniform and would get me in trouble in class. You’re the reason I’m at Adriata, the reason I’m thousands of miles from home. Because I’m in love with you and gods be damned, I can’t take it anymore.”

She crashed her lips against his, loving the feeling of his bare skin against hers. His hands were roaming her back, clinging to her, and his nails dragged lightly down her back. She arched into him and she gasped when she felt his arousal against her core.

“I love you,” he said, repeating her own words. “I love you, Nesta.”

He wrapped an arm around her waist and rolled them until he was on top of her, his weight pressing her down into the mattress. His hips settled against her own and she spread her legs for him, stifling a moan as he kissed her.

“Now,” she begged, “Cass.”

He needed no further permission, kissing her long and hard. He leaned back and hooked his thumbs in her shorts and dragged them down, as she lifted her hips to help him. After he tossed them across the room and she was bare before home, dragged his gaze along her body, allowing himself to take her in, to take his time. He dragged a possessive hand from her throat through the valley of her breasts, over her stomach and between her legs, barely skimming where she yearned for him to touch.

She whimpered, quietly, the throbbing between her legs growing unbearable.

Cassian leaned down, pressing his mouth to the inside of one thigh, then the other as thunder shook the night sky. She began to squirm, trying to get his mouth where she wanted, so he banded an arm over her lower belly. “Be still,” he breathed, looking up at her through his lashes. “Or I’ll tease you.”

“You’re already teasing me,” she hissed, and he laughed.

“Patience, sweetheart,” he crooned.

She didn’t have patience. She had want, need, lust and love all for the man who sat before her, mouth against her warm skin.

“Cassian, I swear to the Cauldron, if you don’t put your mouth against me right now, I’ll-.”

She screamed as he closed his mouth over her and sucked on the sensitive bundle of nerves. Her hand dove into his hair and one of her legs wrapped over his shoulder, digging her heel in.

He gave her a long, flat lick, and pressed his fingers into her as he flicked his tongue over her clit. He slowly pumped his fingers in and out in time with the suction of his lips and she whispered his name like a prayer, uttered at the most precious alter.

Her body was shaking as he moved, a soft whimper escaping her. “Cassian Cassian Cassian.”

He thrived on those sounds, found comfort in his name coming out of her mouth. He removed his lips, trailing kisses to her thigh. He bit and sucked on her skin, the purplish mark blooming on her skin, and he licked the hurt away, as he used his thumb to circle her clit, still agonizingly slowly pumping two fingers in and out of her.

Nesta felt like she was on fire, like she was physically burning from the inside out. Gods, the things he was doing to her. His lavish movement were slow and deliberate and he knew what he was doing to her. He was going to build her up until she felt like she was going to explode.

She needed him. She needed him hard and fast, but she knew this man. She loved him. She knew if she told him how badly she wanted him, how much she needed him, he would torture her and tease her until she was begging him to fuck her.

So she remained quiet.

She didn’t beg, didn’t plead as he discovered her body, until his mouth found hers and Nesta was pushing his sweatpants down with the heels of her feet.

She reached down, gripping him, stroking him, and his lips pulled away from hers as he looked down, between their bodies and watched her work him. She twisted her wrist as she rubbed her thumb over the head and he groaned, dropping his forehead between her breasts.

“Do you like that?” She breathed, twisting her wrist back the other way. She felt him shudder above her.

He looked up at her, lips parted as he breathed heavily. “I fucking love it. Gods, keep doing that and I’m yours. I’ll give you anything you ask for.”

She chuckled, biting at the skin of his neck and she pumped, slowly.

He shuddered, whiskey radiating off his breath.

“Nesta, fuck, I-.”

She silenced him with a kiss and rolled them back, so she was on top, straddling his waist once more. She began a trail of long, languid kisses down his torso, pausing to trail her tongue through the grooves of his defined abdomen. She followed the trail of dark hair that led to his cock. He growled as she ran a finger up the underside and followed it with her tongue. “What will you give me, Cassian, if I take you in my mouth?”

Cassian couldn’t speak.

He would give her anything.

She pressed kisses to his hips, continuing to slowly stroke him, teasing him, as he’d just threatened to tease her. “Nesta, please.” His voice shook and he wasn’t embarrassed in the slightest.

“What will you give me, Cass?” She pressed a line of kisses up his shaft, pausing to kiss the tip. It was so soft and erotic, he had to fight the urge to grab her face and thrust into her mouth. “Tell me, baby.”

His voice was quiet, rough, when he said, “Whatever you ask of me. Anything. Everything. Please.”

She wrapped her lips around him and watched his face as she took him into her mouth. His hands immediately gripped her hair, holding it back so he could see her beautiful face while she sucked his cock.

He’d imagined this for years, had used this exact fantasy while getting himself off so many times, that it was hard to believe it was actually happening. But as he licked his bottom lip, wetting his mouth, he could taste her on his lips. He could still smell her essence in his beard. His nails scratched at her scalp and he growled as she took him deeply.

He whispered her name, over and over again, the sound of the rain against the metal roof of the motel intensifying.

His voice hitched as he begged, “Come here.”

She obliged, kissing back up his body, pausing to lightly nip at his nipple, eliciting a growl from him. He grabbed her chin and dragged her face to his own, crashing his lips to hers. He rolled them so he was on top of her and he positioned himself at her wet heat. He ran his length up and down her slick wetness, teasing her, probing her entrance with the tip, but not quite pushing in.

Nesta froze. “Condom,” she breathed. “We don’t have any condoms.”

Cassian blinked, breathing hard, eyes growing clear. He looked down at their bodies, at their current position, and cursed.

“Shit,” he said, head falling into the crook of her neck. “I don’t think I have any in my bag. I didn’t exactly plan on needing them.”

Nesta tried to stop it, laughter bubbled from her chest, at his words, at their situation. Cassian also laughed, but continued to stroke her with his member.

She tilted his chin up until he looked at her. “I love you, Cassian. I have loved you for as long as I can remember. I’m on the pill, it’s okay, but maybe,” she blushed, as if the words embarrassed her, “Pull out and come on me, instead of in me. Just in case.”

Hearing her say “come on me” had Cassian almost doing just that.

He didn’t need any more convincing. He pressed his mouth tenderly against hers as he pushed inside of her.

Nesta gasped as her body tensed, then quickly relaxed. It had been a while since she’d been with anyone, but it hadn’t been like this with any of them. Her fingers became tangled into his damp hair as his hips moved against hers.

He stopped once he was all the way inside of her, letting her adjust to his size. He kissed her, soft and slow, the haze of the alcohol seeming to lift as he focused on how good she felt around him, how tight she was. “Fucking hell, sweetheart,” he whispered, resting his head against her forehead. He pulled out and slowly pushed back in. She whimpered and he repeated the motions, thrusting back in harder.

“Cass, please,” she breathed, and his name falling from her lips was an unleashing.

His body was beginning to tremble. Never in a million years would he have imagined he’d be here, making love to her in a cheap motel as a storm raged outside.

Inside of that motel, with her, in that moment, was his own personal paradise.

It was not rough and hard, it was not the thorough fucking he longed to give her. He wanted to hear her screaming his name, wanted to thrust into her so hard that the bed frame slammed into the wall, but not tonight.

Tonight, he wanted to show her how he felt. He wanted to make her moan and wanted to hear the little noises that fell from her lips when he thrust into her. He wanted to hear her whisper his name like he was her salvation, because whether or not she knew it, she was his.

This was not just a claiming of her physical body, this was a claiming of heart and soul.

“Cassian,” she breathed, and he held her gaze as he made love to her.

“I love you,” he said, quietly. Now that he could say it aloud, it was hard to stop.

Gray-blue eyes ignited as he rested his forehead against hers.

She wrapped her legs around his waist, leaving barely any space between their bodies. He wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her as close as he could as he continued to roll his hips into hers.

He was shaking when he kissed her softly and whispered, “Nesta, I’m close.”

She was sweating, her hands shaking as she pressed one gently against his cheek.

The sounds that followed, flowing out of her lips, had Cassian on the edge. He lowered his mouth to her breast and that was her undoing.

She cried out, her head thrown back in utter ecstasy as she came, repeating his name like a prayer. Her climax had him barreling through his own and he roughly pulled out, stroking himself as he came on her lower belly, a low groan tearing from him.

They stayed like that for a minutes, both breathing heavily as they came down. Before he could stop himself, he crashed his lips against hers again.

“Fuck, I love you,” he breathed against her lips, not willing to break the connection, already wanting to be back inside of her. “I love you so much that it hurts, Nes.”

“And I love you,” she whispered, kissing him softly. “I love you, too.”

The storm outside was still heavy when Cassian moved off Nesta and pulled her tightly against his chest.

“Cass,”she said, face pressed against his skin.

“Yeah, baby,” he whispered, already lulling into a deep, comfortable sleep.

“I’m still covered in your cum.”

His eyes snapped open and he looked down at her, down to where she was gazing at her body. Indeed, his seed was still coating her stomach and while the sight of it did turn him on, he began to laugh and let her go.

He went into the bathroom and grabbed a towel before cleaning her off and tossing the dirty towel on the floor. He kissed her forehead, then her mouth, then the spot of her neck just above her collarbone.

“I never want to leave this shitty motel.”

She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him down on top of her. “Just think of what we get to do when we get home.”

“Mmm.” He kissed down her neck. “And what’s that?”

She pulled his face back to hers and he saw the sparkle in her blue-grey eyes. “We get to tell our families that we’re together.”

His smile was gentle when he said, “I can’t wait.”

He couldn’t. He couldn’t wait to tell their families, tell the world how much he adored this woman. They made love all through the night, until the storm let up and the early morning sun greeted them, lying tangled together in the sheets of a cheap, shitty motel outside of the city.

[asilentfrenzy]

hi, "respectful", passive aggressive af anon 🥰🥰

here's a few! but, unfortunately, i don't have time to make a whole ass powerpoint or anything like that 😬😬😕 maybe next time though!!

sorry, but in your "study" of your reread of the books, the fact that you seemed to find zero parallels/foreshadowing/hints at elucien, yet found "plenty" when it came to elriel, shows how you can't manage to actually "study" the books for ships when you are so biased towards particular pairs

also, after she had written acowar and was on to acofas, she stated on tour that azriel saw elain as a little sister (and sarah simply tends to avoid spoilers rather than lie). so, whichever "evidence" you found up UNTIL then is pretty much null and void, pal

sure, you can say the same for this quote and this quote, however, pretty sure there is a pretty significant difference in "mind changes" between such a huge endgame plan and a fling she came up with for (likely) the sake of fan service, pushing elain towards lucien/pushing azriel towards gywn, and to show the stark difference between how azriel views/thinks about elain vs how azriel views/thinks about gwyn

the significance of that "little sister" mind change does not compare to the significance of how lucien was meant to be with one archeron sister, yet still ended up with another when sarah decided that he worked better with elain and that nesta and lucien would kill each other. the sisters are very important characters, and the fact that she still wanted him with a sister even after deciding against nesta?? just shows how big of a role (and the type of role) she has planned for him. not to mention how she wouldn't open up a whole new plot point with lucien being the literal heir to the day court if he wasn't going to be more than a side character with vassa (who people ship because they want lucien out of the way and vassa is really the only option lol)

pretty big difference. a fling is a fling. sarah has a habit of making her characters switch up on their love interests. which elain is, quite clearly, not a love interest (at least not in azriel's eyes) with how azriel thought about her and included nothing indicating that he has romantic care (not just possessive/protective care over his high lady's sister) or love coupled with his sexual attraction. it's not the sexual thoughts that are the issue (since the obnoxious argument is that sArAh wRiTeS hOrNy bOyS), it's the fact of them being only sexual thoughts. pretty easy to comprehend, but we all know how elriels twist words or simply ignore explanations and rebuttals

we have also been shown how lucien looks/has looked at her while putting in every effort to be respectful and give her space in comparison. even when he was first around her and was just experiencing the bond in full (where he would instinctually have "horny" thoughts), as soon as he had those reflexively primal, compulsive thoughts he shut them down immediately

sarah knows how to write proper longing in a romantic way even when the character's mind is on sex. she chose not to do that, and then she chose to show how azriel acted towards gwyn directly after in contrast. it's really interesting to me how you believe gwyn is meant to be the conflict considering how authentic their interactions are and considering how many more blatant moments pointing towards gwynriel (and elucien lol), as shown in posts like these: (x),(x), (x), (x), and (x), than there are pointing towards elriel. unless you are digging and trying to make everything you possibly can fit, i suppose, but we can illuminati shit all day, so in the end it's all about interpretation and perspective anyway

now, let's address some "evidence" that can be seen in the most recent book, shall we??

sarah puts real effort in showing how much elain does not fit in the night court/darkness in general in acosf (in addition to the evidence we have already from the other books)

"Elain in black was ridiculous. Yes, she was beautiful, but the color of her long-sleeved, modest gown leeched the brightness from her face. It wore her, rather than the other way around. And he knew the cruelty of the Hewn City troubled her. But she hadn’t hesitated to come. When Feyre had offered to let her remain home, Elain had squared her shoulders and declared that she was a part of this court—and would do whatever was needed. So Elain had let her golden-brown hair down tonight, and pinned it back with twin combs of pearl.

He’d never once in the two years he’d known her found Elain to be plain, but wearing black, no matter how much she claimed to be part of this court … It sucked the life from her.

Nesta in Night Court black threatened to bring him to his knees. She’d braided her hair over her head in her usual style, but atop it, a delicate tiara of glinting black stone rested, slender spikes jutting upward in a dark corona. Each spike was topped with a tiny sapphire, as if the spikes were so sharp they’d pierced the sky and drawn cobalt blood. And the dress … Silver thread embroidered the skintight velvet bodice, the straps so narrow they might as well have been nothing against her moon-white skin. The neckline plunged nearly to her navel, where the silver thread gathered to hold a small sapphire that matched the ones on her crown. The full skirts brushed the dark floor, rustling in the rippling silence. Nesta’s chin remained high, accentuating her long, lovely neck. Her red-painted lips cocked in a feline smirk as her kohl-lined eyes took in the room watching her every breath. Nesta seemed to glow with the attention. Owned it. Commanded it."

not only was it pointed out how out of place elain was (literally said wearing black sucked the life out of her, and even made a point to relate the color of dress to the night court in her attempt to fit in. she didn't), but sarah also made a point to talk about how much nesta did fit as a contrast to elain directly after

(then there is the subtle mention of pearls which goes along with lucien's gift that i thought was interesting)

"'You came,' Elain said behind her, and Nesta started, not having heard her sister approach. She scanned Elain from head to toe, wondering if she’d been taking lessons in stealth either from Azriel or the two half-wraiths she called friends. Gone was the ill-suited black dress from the ball, replaced by a gown of amethyst velvet, her hair half-up and curling down to her waist. She glowed with good health."

nesta's narrative points out the same. i also find it funny how she says the half-wraiths are who elain "called" friends, because i keep thinking about how elain went from being a social butterfly to having basically assigned friends, just as everything else in the night court is assigned to her

"Nesta’s throat constricted, and she surveyed the swaying cherry blossoms overhead. Elain would love this place. So many flowers, all in bloom, so much green—the light, vibrant green of new grass—so many birds singing and such warm, buttery sunshine. Nesta felt like a storm cloud standing amid it all. But Elain … The Spring Court had been made for someone like her. Too bad her sister refused to see her. Nesta would have told Elain to visit this place. And too bad the lord who ruled these lands was a piece of shit."

it's pointed out multiple times throughout the series how elain would love the spring court. and, again, sunshine is mentioned as it always is when it comes to elain, and as of currently in the books lucien is still heavily involved in spring

and again, there is the direct contrast shown between elain, ill-fitted for the night court, and nesta, well-fitted for the night court, who was described as having the effect of a storm cloud in the same environment that nesta claimed was made for elain

these direct contrasts are not accidents

"Nesta chuckled. 'You’re right.' She considered Emerie’s question. If her father had offered to bring them on one of his ships, to let them see strange and distant shores, would they have gone? Elain had always wanted to visit the continent to study the tulips and other famed flowers, but her imagination had stretched no further."

hmm. spring, the continent, and the day court now?? lucien could really have an aladdin moment on his hands, eh?

"Elain was in the private library. Nesta knew it before she’d cleared the stairs, covered in dust from the library. Her sister’s delicate scent of jasmine and honey lingered in the red-stoned hall like a promise of spring, a sparkling river that she followed to the open doors of the chamber."

ope, there's more day court for ya. and, no, this isn't grasping at straws. these places are where elain literally prefers to be and is said to thrive in

and the constant mention of elain needing sunlight, even still, in this most recent book?? lol now that's some obvious foreshadowing. lucien's name literally means "light" (while elain means fawn. a fox and a fawn?? 🤔🧐🤷🏻‍♀️), light is mentioned in relation to him all throughout the series as well, and then there is the fact that he is heir to the day court. just had to repeat myself just in case, bc this is some good shit right here

"'But I also think we haven't yet seen all she has to offer.' A corner of his mouth tugged upward. 'Don't forget that gardening often results in something pretty, but it involves getting one's hands dirty along the way.'

'And torn up by thorns,' I mused, recalling a morning this past summer when Elain had come into the house, her right palm. bleeding from several gashes thanks to a stubborn rosebush that had pierced her gloves. The thorns had broken off in her skin, leaving sharp splinters that I'd had to pull free.

I didn't dare mention that if she had been wearing the enchanted gloves Lucien had gotten her last Solstice, nothing would have pierced them at all."

now, i understand elriels take this bit a different way, but lining up both extra povs and considering azriel's rose gift and how it hurt elain, as well as considering how feyre spoke of lucien's gift and how if elain had accepted his gift she could have avoided the pain, i would say it means something very different from what others are taking it as

plus, rhysand pointing out that he doesn't think they've seen all that elain has to offer?? she's been in the night court for long enough to have had that opportunity to branch out from being "boring" with her same routine of gardening, sticking around her two assigned friends, etc. and show what more she has to offer. but she hasn't

hmm, seems like she can't show all she has to offer until she gets the fuck out of the night court

"Amren said, 'We do not have the time to wait for Nesta to decide. I say we approach Elain tomorrow. Better to have both of them working on it.'

Azriel stiffened, an outright sign of temper from him as he said quietly, 'There is an innate darkness to the Dread Trove that Elain should not be exposed to.'"

she does not thrive there, the life is sucked out of her there, and people treat her like a child there (as shown above)

all of this is evidence of elucien. hope this helped and was as "so cool" as you thought it would be!! 🤗🥰❤ (doubt it, seeing as you weren't actually interested, now were you? 🤔😘)

hii! it's me again, the respectul anon lol. that's an interesting theory ab elain fooling around w az and then bonding w luc, but i just don't see the "evidence" you're talking ab, and i just reread all the books and fully studied them, and there were so little elucien interactions, in all of them elain was either ignoring him or not fully aware of her surroundings. i have, though, found plenty of elriel hints, that doesn't make them endgame, but they're def gonna be a thing. and at least the way i read it, they find comfort in each other and not in a brother sister way , the lust was mutual in the bonus, and it's obviously not just lust.

please don't think i'm trying to convince you to change your ship or anything, i just want to compare the two relationships but i didn't find enough elucien content, if you can tell me some scenes/chapters that'd be so cool!!

when that book is announced acotartumblr is gonna be WILD lmao

Hi! I can’t remember what kind of evidence I was talking about. Could be evidence for compatibility, or for interest, or for canon, idk! Between tumblr and Discord, I have talked about this book so much in the last six days 😅

I did make a post about elucien and interaction here. The tl;dr is that there isn’t evidence regarding their interaction because we haven’t had their POVs and it wouldn’t make sense for them to have a deep, meaningful talk when they are always surrounded by the IC. I go into more depth with it on that post, though. It’s quite long. I also discuss the way that people interpret her facial expressions on that post.

I understand why Az and Elain are a thing - at least, I understand how it became a thing after people forgot that that ship was born into the fandom due to fandom sexism. (Sexism that persists, btw.) One of my first ships ever was in this book, The Wind Blows Backwards, by Mary Downing Hahn. I was like 11 and omggggg I made my friend read it too and she also was squealing. Spencer was the dark, troubled, handsome boy and Lauren was the quiet, shy, bookish girl, and he had a dark past and she cared for him and - yeah, I get it. I understand the appeal of that aesthetic. 

But I think you used a telling word - hints. People say that “X thing in the book was obvious”. Well if it was obvious, why are we still disagreeing? There are tidbits here and there, and I totally get why people ship it, but I don’t understand how people think it’s obvious. I know @asilentfrenzy came into the fandom with zero idea that it was even a ship, and I’m sure others did too. 

Az’s POV was a pivotal moment that could have been used to establish that he has deep, romantic feelings for Elain. Instead, sjm decided to go a different direction. I think that’s telling! She used Wings and Embers to tell us what the relationship between Nesta and Cassian was or could be like. And now she gives us this to... tell us that he wants to have sex with Elain but quickly loses interest? 

Tumblr is going to wild, gah.... based on people’s reactions to her events yesterday when she explicitly said she won’t reveal that yet, and the way people clung to every nuance of her wording, yikes. 

[aelinwhitethornashryver]

Acotar tag game

Rules: answer all the questions that are already here and addd one of your own. Then tag 10 people.

Tagged by: @xmanorianx your answers were AWESOME! Thanks for tagging me.. this is actually my first tag( the first one that I'm actually doing) so don't judge people.

1. Out of 3 acotar books which one is your favourite

A court of mist and fury! I mean...the inner circle man! Damn. Mostly because I fell in love with Rhysand along with Feyre..

2. Who's your favourite character and why?

Cassian, because he's charming and sexy and hawt and beautiful and magnificent and extraordinary and I just love Cassian.

3. Who's your least favourite character and why?

Can I say two? ....It's obvious isn't it Tamlin the Tool and bitch Ianthe.

4. Top 3 pairings-

☆ Feysand

☆ Nessian

☆ Azriel and Elain? (What's their shipname again?)

5. To what Prythian court do you belong?

The night court or the day court. Yea..

6. One unpopular opinion

I mean I like Nesta..that bitch is feisty af but I hated how she never acknowledged Feyre..I mean common you hoe ass bitch you're literally alive because of her.

7. Place the inner circle into Hogwarts houses

Feyre- Gryffindor

Rhys- Slytherin

Cassian- Slytherin

Azriel- Ravenclaw

Amren- Slytherin

Mor- Gryffindor

8. Favourite quote-

Oh yea l think I got it.

9. What are you hoping will happen in acofas?

- the wall scene

- Az and Elain pleaseeee

- Nesta finding out that Cassian is her mate.

- Feyre getting pregnant 😁👅

10. If you had to share a Room with the bone carver, Stryga or Bryaxis: which one would you choose?

I don't know I have no idea jeez all of them are soo fucking scary..maybe the bone carver. I mean they seem cool but imagine being in a room with either one of em' I would shit in my pants.

11. Favourite scene

Rhys sending that image in Feyre's mind of them in the Lingerie shop haha.

12. Least favourite scene

Tam fucking Feyre. It's gross and inappropriate? 🤣🤣

13. Which character looks physically more like you?

I would say Feyre cause I have brown hair and brown eyes? Maybe one of the Archeron sisters yea.

14. Which character would be your best friend?

Helion haha 😂😂. Yaaas come thruuu

15. If you had a choice between Cassian and Azriel which one would you choose?

Az. Cause Rhys thinks he's the second best looking guy in the group.

Okay thats about it.

I'm gonna be tagging: @queen-of-shadows-and-fire, @high-lady-fireheart, @aelinscourt, @aelin-feyre-males, @aelin-ag-whitethorn, @aelinofthemoonfire.

[theladyofdeath]

Alone in the Ashes {22}

A Court of Thorns and Roses fanfction, characters belong to Sarah J Maas. Modern au. Revolves around Nesta x Cassian, Feyre x Rhysand, and Elain x Azriel. Other characters appear throughout. Based on multiple prompts sent in by anons tbr below.

Warning: Mature content. Alcohol abuse, verbal abuse, drugs, sex, language, eating disorders.

For summary & chapter index, click >  Alone in the Ashes {Acotar}

Word Count: 3.6k

A/N: Yeah....I don’t even have a nice little book quote for this one.

The days passed by quickly, the weeks all blurring together. Planning a wedding was stressful, apparently, and trying to fit it into three months was a nightmare. With a month and a half to go until he and Feyre said I do, Rhysand had only crossed off half of his to-do list.

He had the day off of work and planned to try and knock off the other half during his afternoon at home, but it was morning, and Rhysand sat with Mila in the visiting room of the Velaris State Prison.

He hated Amarantha.

Loathed her.

But he loved Mila, and he couldn’t say no to Azriel when he’d asked. Azriel couldn’t miss Elain’s doctor appointment. They would be listening to the heartbeat for the first time. It was unmissable.

“You scared, Rhysie?”

Rhysand looked down into Mila’s big, pleading eyes. He hadn’t said much, felt incredibly uncomfortable. But for her, he smiled. “I’m okay. She should be coming soon, I would think.”

“The big men bring her in,” Mila said, referring to the guards. “She can’t talk a long time. They take her away.”

Rhysand nodded, taking her little hand in his as the door pushed open and Amarantha entered. The minute she walked in and spotted Rhysand, she grinned. 

Rhysand hated that grin.

He and Amarantha had dated right after he graduated from high school, for just a few months - a few months too long.

She sat across from them and Mila beamed. “Hi, mama. Rhysie came with me today! Uncle Azzie is with Lain at the doctor.”

“Hi baby,” she smiled, then looked to Rhysand. “Rhys.”

“Amarantha,” he said, her name uncomfortable as it rolled off his tongue. “How’s prison life?”

“About what you’d expect,” she said. “I hear you’re getting married. To Feyre, of all people.”

“We don’t have to talk,” Rhysand said, trying to keep his voice light for Mila’s sake. “Talk to your daughter.”

“Oh, I will,” Amarantha said, “but this is such a great time for us to catch up. So. Feyre finally got rid of Tamlin, did she?”

Rhysand’s jaw locked. It seemed his last visit to Tamlin went better than he’d hoped for. Neither he nor Feyre had heard from the asshole since that day. 

“Ah, she did, and fell in love with you,” Amarantha crooned. “And Azriel’s a baby daddy. How about Cassian?”

“Cassie is in love with Nesta,” Mila said.

Amarantha’s brows nearly shot into her hairline. “Archeron? Shit, his standards must have really lowered.”

“Shit,” Mila repeated, and giggled.

“Don’t say that word,” Rhysand whispered to Mila.

“Don’t tell my daughter what she can and can’t say,” Amarantha snapped. “She’s not your daughter.”

“Do you even know who her father is?” Rhysand asked, before he could stop himself. Mila didn’t seem to notice, an older guard was coming around, handing lollipops to the kids, and Mila was waiting eagerly in her chair. 

Amarantha’s eyes had narrowed. “Yes, jackass, I do, and now that Az is having a child of his own, Mila will be seeing him a lot more.”

Rhysand stilled. “The fuck are you talking about?”

“I’ve been thinking a lot these past few weeks,” Amarantha said, sitting back. “Azriel’s negligence has already begun. He’s not here, doing his duty to Mila. Instead, he’s with Elain, obsessing over his unborn child. It’s only a matter of time before he starts ignoring Mila entirely.”

“Azriel loves Mila like she’s his own,” Rhysand spat. “Letting her go with anyone else would be fucked up, even for you.”

Amarantha took no offence. She simply grinned as Mila hopped up from her chair and dug through the bucket of lollipops. 

“I disagree. In fact, I’ve already given Mila’s dad a call. He’ll be paying a visit to Azriel, soon.”

Rhysand said nothing as Mila crawled onto his lap. “Can you open this, Rhysie?”

Clearing his throat, Rhysand took the sucker and took off the wrapper before giving it back to Mila.

“Thank you,” she grinned, putting the sucker in her mouth before throwing her little arms around Rhysand’s neck.

“You can’t do this,” Rhysand breathed. “You just want something to control, but it’s not right, and you know it.”

Amarantha shook her head. “You don’t even know who her father is.”

“I know if he slept with you he must be a lowlife dipshi-” Rhysand’s word broke off, remembering there was a four-year-old within earshot. “Not good.”

Mila was singing a song in his ear, oblivious to it all, her entire, innocent world revolved around her lollipop. 

“You’ll all find out soon, won’t you? Besides, you used to sleep with me,” Amarantha said, lips twisted upward. “Now, Mila.” Mila turned around at the sound of her name. “Tell mama what I’ve missed.”

Just like that, Rhysand was forgotten. Mila told Amarantha about preschool, about all she did while Azriel was at work.. Then, she told Amarantha about Rhysand’s wedding, and how pretty she felt in her flower girl dress. She also told her mother that Uncle Az was going to be a daddy, and she would have a little brother or sister soon.

Rhysand’s heart broke at the words, at the little girl’s excitement. 

Innocent.

She was so fucking innocent.

Rhysand felt sick. He didn’t know who the father was. None of them did. They all just assumed Amarantha was sleeping with so many different men that she didn’t know. The thought of some random dick coming to take Mila away from Azriel…

Azriel would be crushed.

But he wouldn’t let Mila go, not without a fight - a fight he didn’t need as he prepared to bring a child into the world. Elain would support him, of course. She had grown to love Mila, too.

They all loved Mila.

The guard by the door soon announced that visiting hours were over.

Amarantha stood diligently from her chair, kissed Mila on the forehead, then pressed her lips to Rhysand’s, quickly. His jaw went hard, his lips tight.

The second she broke away from him, she whispered, “Let Azriel know about my little surprise.”

As Amarantha walked away, Mila looked up at Rhysand. “Why you kiss mama?”

Rhysand didn’t answer. With a sigh, he stood up, picking her up as he did so. She clung to his neck, the sucker still in her mouth, as they hauled ass to the parking lot. 

~~~~~

Elain was practically bouncing out of her chair. Azriel, as always, seemed perfectly calm.

“How are you not freaking out?” she asked. 

Azriel chuckled. “Because I know everything will be fine.”

“How?” she asked, rising to her feet. “Oh, I’m gonna puke.”

“There’s a garbage-”

But she had already found the trash can and was hunched over it, vomiting up what little she had managed to get into her stomach for breakfast that morning. Azriel was behind her, instantly, holding back her hair.

She leaned back into him and groaned. He stood there for a moment, comforting her as she caught her breath.

“What if they can’t find a heartbeat?” she whispered.

Azriel turned her around so that she was facing him. He kissed her forehead, softly. “Nothing out of the ordinary has happened, okay? According to my sources, you are a perfectly healthy pregnant woman, and there is a baby with a strong, little heartbeat in there.”

Elain couldn’t help but smile. “And who are your sources?”

“The internet,” he mumbled, and Elain laughed, pressing her forehead into his chest. 

She didn’t have to stress about the unknown for much longer, though, because the door opened and the doctor walked in. They had gone to high school with him, he had been in the same grade as Azriel, played basketball alongside him.

His icy blue eyes shone as he took in Azriel and Elain.

“Hey,” he grinned, clapping Azriel on the shoulder before shaking Elain’s hand.

“Hey, Kal,” Azriel replied with a smile. “Long time.”

Kallias chuckled. “Yeah, it has been. I’m glad you told Viv you were looking for a doctor. She hauled ass home and told me if I didn’t make room for you two, she’d riot.”

Viviane was Mila’s preschool teacher. She had also graduated the same year as Azriel. Her and Kallias had gotten married just after high school.

Elain laughed, quietly. “We appreciate you getting us in. It’s good to see you.”

“You too,” he replied, gently. “Hop up on the table for me.” 

Elain did so and laid back. 

“Morning sickness?” he asked, as he sat on a stool that he wheeled toward her. Azriel stood on the opposite side of the table, quietly.

“Ugh, yes,” Elain began.

“Good.”

When she looked at him like he was crazy, he chuckled. “Believe it or not, it’s a sign that the baby is healthy.”

Elain looked at Azriel. He was grinning - no doubt something he already knew from his sources. 

“At this point, your baby is the size of a kidney bean and only weighs a few ounces,” Kallias continued, pulling out a tube of gel. “You may start to notice your abdomen starting to grow, and you may notice your breasts getting bigger, too.” At that, he winked at Azriel. “If you haven’t already.”

Elain’s cheeks heated.

Kallias huffed a laugh. “Alright, pull up your shirt for me.”

She exposed her belly and took Azriel’s hand. Kallias’ smile softened at her tiny, growing bump. “Alright. We’re gonna try to find a heartbeat. If we don’t find one today, don’t panic. It’s normal, considering the fetus is so small. In that case, I’ll have you come back in a few weeks to try again. Okay?” Elain nodded. Kallias asked, softly, ”Ready?”

“Yes,” Elain breathed. 

“Sorry, this part’s cold.” He squeezed the gooey gel onto her abdomen, then took a little probe and spread out the gel before slowly moving it around her abdomen. 

The seconds seemed to pass too slowly. 

Azriel’s thumb was lightly brushing over the back of her hand as they waited. 

Suddenly, Kallias stopped and looked up at Elain with a smile as a fast-paced beating filled the room. 

Elain looked up at Azriel and laughed. The heartbeat was fast, seemed too fast, but Kallias said it was normal, meant it was a healthy heartbeat. 

Elain decided then, as tears filled her eyes, that it was the most beautiful sound she had ever heard. Judging by the softness of Azriel’s eyes, of his smile, he felt the same.

~~~~~

Cassian pulled into the townhouse’s driveway. He’d barely taken off his helmet as he knocked on the front door. 

He hadn’t seen Nesta since the night he spent with her, watching movies. He had texted her the night before, though, asking her if she wanted to go out.

She had said yes, replied quickly.

So, Cassian had taken a bike home from work and planned to take her to dinner.

The door opened a minute later, and Nesta walked out onto the porch. She took one look at the bike and raised a brow.

“You should know by now what a night out with me entails.”

Nesta huffed a laugh then gestured to her close-toed shoes. “Obviously.”

He grinned and handed her the extra helmet. “Come on.”

She took the helmet and pulled it down onto her head. Cassian helped her fasten the chinstrap before putting on his own. 

Her arms wrapped around him as they sped down the road, into the heart of the city, where they eventually came to a little restaurant in a brick building. Nesta smoothed down her hair as they entered. 

“Italian?” she asked, keeping close to Cassian as they were led to a little table by the window.

“You don’t like Italian?” he asked, as they sat down.

“Everyone likes Italian,” she muttered, with a small smile, looking down at the menu.

But Cassian was looking at her.

She didn’t look up from her menu when she asked, “May I help you?”

Cassian chuckled, picking up his own menu. “You look nice.”

“I know,” she said, quietly. “You look pretty nice, too.” 

“I know,” Cassian said, mimicking her tone.

Nesta shook her head. “So, after we eat a delicious meal, where are you taking me this time?”

“You’re so impatient,” he said, grinning.

“Yeah, I am,” she laughed. “Answer my fucking question.”

Cassian shrugged. “Wherever you wanna go. Tell me where, and I’ll take you there.”

“Anywhere?” she asked, brow raised.

“Within reason,” Cassian muttered.

She snorted, but nodded. “I like that idea.”

“That’s because you like to be in charge,” he countered.

Nesta didn’t deny it. “Obviously.” 

Nesta pretended to think about it the entire time they sat at that table. Every time Cassian asked what she was thinking, she gave him the same answer he had always given her - it’s a surprise.

“You’ll have to tell me eventually,” he laughed. “I’m driving.”

Nesta had finished her plate of pasta as she said, “Are you?”

Cassian stilled, eyes narrowed, before taking his last bite. “Oh, I’m sure as hell not letting you drive my bike.”

“Think I can’t do it?” she asked.

Cassian hesitated.

It was a trick question, he swore.

“Let me drive,” she said, cocking her head to the side. 

“Hmm,” Cassian grunted. “No.”

“Come on.”

“You don’t know how.”

“Then teach me.”

They stared at one another, neither of them budging. 

Cassian let out a long, slow breath. “Fine, but if you wreck it, I will make you watch so many shitty old movies-”

“I’ll be careful,” she interrupted, chuckling. 

“Better be,” he muttered, before asking for the check.

Far before he was ready, they were back on his bike, Cassian sitting behind Nesta.

“Alright,” he said, firing up the engine and starting to back them up. His arms were around her, his hands on the handlebars. “Put your hands under mine.”

She did so. Cassian’s hands tightened around hers. Yeah, he wasn’t sure about this one bit.

“Alright,” he said, again, guiding her hands as they approached the edge of the parking lot, ready to merge onto the road. 

Cassian had never let anyone else drive any of the bikes he brought home. She would be disappointed if she thought he was going to stop guiding her hands.

Not happening.

He revved the engine and Nesta’s body shook against him with laughter. 

“Here we go,” he muttered, heart beating wildly as she motioned for them to turn right. 

Right they went.

They drove down the main street, through the city, until they were heading down a familiar backroad. Cassian let his hands loosen, just a little bit, once it seemed Nesta was getting the hang of it. She was going slower than he would’ve, which he was grateful for.

Eventually, Nesta was pulling off of the road, to a familiar place he’d brought her a couple months before. 

She stopped the bike, and Cassian put his legs out to catch them, finally fully releasing her hands.

After turning off the engine, he took off his helmet.

“Come on,” she said, not waiting for him as she found the trail in the woods. 

With a fond smile, he followed her into the trees and down the pathway, toward the waterfalls. 

“This is my favorite place you’ve taken me,” she said, although she didn’t turn around as she did. She climbed down the path until she was on that large, flat rock, where she slipped off her socks and shoes. After rolling up her jeans, she hung her legs over the rock, into the water. 

Cassian did the same, sitting next to her. 

“I’m glad you liked it,” he said.

“You told me you liked me that day,” she said, looking out at the falls. “It was a good day.”

Cassian looked at her through his side eye before reaching over to gently take her hand.

She didn’t pull away.

“Yeah, it was,” he agreed.

When she looked at him, she froze. “You’re giving me that look.”

“What look?” Cassian crooned.

“The look that says you’re about to do something that’s going to piss me the fuck off.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Cassian said, innocently. 

Just as Nesta opened her mouth to reply, Cassian was wrapping his arms around Nesta’s waist and pulling her down into the frigid waters of the Sidra. 

When they came up out of the water, Nesta was screaming. “Fuck, that’s cold!” 

She splashed Cassian in the face, who simply laughed, treading in place. 

He splashed her back.

With a scowl, she swam to where Cassian was staying afloat and pushed him back under the water by his shoulders. He came up, laughing, right in front of her face.

Her arms wrapped around his shoulders.

His arms wrapped around her waist.

He admired how she looked, clothes and hair soaked, droplets of water falling down her face. Her lips were slightly parted, her blue-gray eyes wide as she looked into his. 

“You look nice,” he whispered, the sound of the waterfalls nearly drowning out his words.

“You look pretty nice, too,” she said, brushing his wet hair back off his forehead.

He could feel her breath, warm against his mouth. 

Her legs wrapped around his waist as he pulled her up, closer toward him.

She could never be close enough.

Closing the short distance between them, Cassian softly pressed his lips to hers.

~~~~~

“You WHAT?” Feyre yelled.

Mila had let the beans spill about Amarantha’s goodbye. Azriel had shown up mere seconds later to pick her up and, after giving them a quick rundown of Elain’s appointment, they were gone.

Leaving Rhysand and Feyre alone in their apartment.

“She kissed me,” Rhysand said, “not the other way around, calm down.”

“She put her dirty mouth on my husband’s!” Feyre said, throwing her hands in the air. “Bitch. And don’t fucking tell me to calm down. Never tell a woman to calm down.”

Rhysand didn’t correct her. Instead, he started picking up the dirty plates, silverware, and dishes off the table, bringing them to the sink. They’d had chicken nuggets and macaroni and cheese - Mila’s choice. 

Feyre shuddered. “That pisses me the fuck off. Just when you think she could do all the damage she could do, she pulls shit like that.” 

“That’s not all she pulled,” Rhysand said, rinsing off the dishes as he put them into the dishwasher.

Feyre came up behind them and pulled herself up on the counter. “Care to elaborate?”

Rhysand turned off the sink and ran his hand through his hair. “She decided she doesn’t like that Elain is pregnant. She plans to use Azriel’s baby as a tool for manipulation.”

A minute passed when Feyre said nothing, and when Rhysand turned around to face her, leaning against the counter behind him, she finally said, “I don’t understand.” 

“She told Mila’s dad that Azriel has her. And, apparently, told him to take her away from Az.”

Feyre blinked, letting the words sink in. “Wait- Mila’s dad? As in...she’s actually acknowledging who the bastard is?”

Rhysand nodded. “So she says. She wanted me to tell Azriel, but...I don’t know. He was so happy, just now, I couldn’t.” 

Feyre’s eyes softened. “It’s not your fault, Rhys. But fuck Amarantha. She’s been a shitty parent all these years. Azriel has been that little girl’s only constant, and if this jackass takes her away….” She shook her head. “Did she say who it was?”

“No,” Rhysand breathed. “But, I have a really bad feeling about it, Feyre. Amarantha kept him away all these years, and, as you said, she’s been a shitty parent. If Mila’s dad is someone Amarantha wanted nothing to do with…”

“Why would she want him now, then?” Feyre asked. 

Rhysand shrugged, turning back to the sink to finish the dishes. “Because she’s bored, and she’s bitter, and she likes to watch Azriel suffer, as she always has.” 

Feyre said nothing else. She stayed sitting on the counter, quietly. 

There was nothing else to say.

Nothing that would change the hell that Azriel was about to find himself in, anyway.

 ~~~~~

Azriel had driven Mila home and put her in bed before he joined Mor on the couch with a glass of wine.

“No Elain tonight?” she asked.

“Apparently it’s sister night. Nesta’s on her way home. They plan to watch a movie and paint each other’s nails or something like that.”

Mor laughed. “Sounds fun. We should do that, too. You’re good at painting my nails.”

Azriel rolled his eyes. “I was in high school. My skills may have faded through the years.”

“Doubtful,” she said, grinning. “Well, I may be being selfish, but I’m glad to have you for a night to myself. Daddy.”

“Do not call me that,” he muttered, sipping from his glass.

Mor’s grin widened. “Why not, daddy?”

“Stop.”

“I like it when you use that tone with me,” she said, winking, then added, “Daddy.”

Azriel flicked her nose, and Mor’s laughter filled the air.

It was cut short when a loud knock came to the front door.

“Who the hell is that?” Azriel mumbled. “It’s late.”

Concern consumed him, suddenly thinking it was Elain, suddenly thinking something was wrong. He pulled his phone out of his pocket as he padded toward the door to make sure he hadn’t missed any messages.

He hadn’t.

Shoving it back into his pocket, he threw open the door and froze.

Eris Vanserra stood outside, grinning. “Azriel. I hear you have my daughter.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

tag List (to be tagged, comment or send me an ask!)

@throne-of-ashes-and-beauty  @starkovsnesta​   @redisriding​  @photofeesh

@mariamuses​   @tswaney17    @amaranthas-whore​   @awesomelena555

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@mynewdreamwasyou​ @humming-asong​  

@candid-confetti @awkward-avocado-s​  @sensitiveillyrian​

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@empress-ofbloodshed​  @starkovsnesta​ @nickjgoodsell​

Prompts:

{ “I’m gonna fuck you so hard that you forget you ever met that asshole” - Feysand } -anonymous

{ “How about Nessian needing to fake date when they go home for the holidays?!” } - anonymous

{ “could u pls do like an elriel fic where azriel is like this mysterious bad boy and elain is a goody two shoes lik aaaaa i cant get that image out of my head” } - anonymous