#nepeta (in tears): :(( > HOW DID YOU SAY THAT WITH YOUR MOUTH

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

EQUIUS: D—> I’m so sorry Nepeta

EQUIUS: D—> It can happen to the 🐴 of us

[riverboundao3ff]

Riverbound, Chapter 1

Your name is MSPA READER, and you are currently vibing outside of the known multiverse.

Well, you don’t really use that name anymore, on account of it not actually being a name. Names sound something like Emily, or Muhammad, or Patrick, or Shamita, or a million other put-together syllables and sounds.

Names are something personal. A title is anything but.

You do have a new title, though, one you like much better.

The Guardian.

Because that’s what you became when you yoinked the timeline away from the control of Ultimate Dirk and that Director lady, whoever she was. You looked Canon-With-A-Capital-C in its ugly face, spit on it, and then bent over to wipe your ass with the fabric of reality itself. Out of desperation, love, and most importantly sheer spite, you took it upon yourself to defy fate so that there is at least one timeline where everybody gets to live happy lives. This was victory at its finest. This is what it felt like to finally get everything you wanted. Your friends? Safe. Multiverse? Secure. Hotel? Trivago.

In the vast and rich history of pro-gamer moves, you believe you might have made the most powerful move of all.

After using the Green Sun- no, sorry, the Green Sun to make your own timeline, you did what any other person would do and took a big fuckin’ snooze, curling up around your universe like a mama cat protecting her kittens. You earned it.

And, if you were being completely honest with yourself, that’s how you would have spent the rest of time.

It’s not like you didn’t want to live. No, living was good. It’s just… you were so damn tired. You’re tired of always running from place to place, person to person, era to era. You’re tired of being injured, scared, and alone no matter how many friends you made. All the gods of the Furthest Rings know you’d gone through more in like a year than most people go through during their entire lives. Couldn’t a bitch just enjoy eternity in the void?

Apparently not.

The dreams began innocently enough. Playing video games with Dave, John, and Karkat. Exploring Jade’s island with Jake and Bec. Baking with Jane. Kanaya teaching you and Sollux how to sew. FLARP-ing with Vriska.

Laying side-by-side with Roxy as you two watched the sun rise. Role-playing with Nepeta. Movie night with Eridan. Getting high off your ass with Gamzee and scaring the shit out of some teal visiting their kismesis a few hives away. Discussing politics with Feferi.

Escaping that hellhouse the Soleil twins called their home. Watching those eerie lights in the corpsefield beside Fozzer. You and Remele beating a purpleblood to death.

You barely realize how nightmares had invaded your mind until you woke up with Karako’s yowls of terror in your ears. You didn’t have ears anymore, though, or a physical form, so it just sounded like your favorite clown son was screaming all around you in the abyss.

Okay. This was fine. This was fine, you kept telling yourself. After everything that’s happened to you, you were bound to develop PTSD at some point. That was completely natural.

Except this wasn’t just PTSD. This was something else entirely, because even when you were awake you saw the faces of your oldest friends burning in your mind’s eye. Something churned in your gut, ancient and primal. It was a feeling you knew well, and was usually accompanied by you launching yourself into whatever stupid shit you found next. The longer you tried to ignore it, the stronger it became, until you were permanently wrapped up around yourself like the most pathetic ball of Guardian that had to have ever existed.

You knew long before you actually put words to what was going on.

Of course. Of course it wasn’t over, because why would you ever get to have anything for yourself? Why would you ever get to just rest? For the first time in… who even knows how long, you sob hysterically into the sleeves of your hoodie.

A galaxy twinkles in the outer shell of your universe, lighting up the zig-zag sign on your chest. Mallek’s lazy smile fills your thoughts. If at all possible, everything hurts even more, until you can’t even cry to let out the pain.

Did he miss you? Did all of them miss you?

Oh, God, Daraya. You promised her you’d take her to Earth sometime, and then you just totally fucking vanished from the face of Alternia. What a fucking dick move. Granted, you hadn’t meant to do it, but still!

Your traitor-asshole brain reminds you of the fact that all of them are dead now. As in, Tyzias tried to lead a rebellion against the Alternian Empire, and then they all got killed. Your traitor-asshole brain also notes that it’s all your fault for encouraging those kinds of ideas.

Way to go, you absolute tool.

Except… they don’t have to be gone. You are the Guardian of your universe, and you make the rules. It feels so wrong to even think about it, but… yeah. You’re basically a god now. You can do what you want and nobody has the power to stop you.

Which brings about a whole new plethora of fuckery. If you were to go back, if you were to rewrite history… are you any better than Ultimate Dirk? Granted, you’d do it out of love, not because you’re a power-hungry bastard, but still. Shenanigans of this level are not to be taken lightly, even by sad Guardians with absolutely nothing better to do.

You sleep on it, which of course results in you waking up bawling like a baby as you remember the best roleplay sesh of your life, which was when Wanshi proudly gave your Soldier Purrbeasts OC her full name: Twinklemoon. You had a Soldier Purrbeasts OC named Twinklemoon. That’s why you were crying.

That’s it. You couldn’t stand it anymore.

You need advice, and you know exactly where to get it.

<>

You find her on the 8rigantine, furiously scribbling something down on a chart with a bunch of little figurines in the middle of it. You know better than to just haul your little friendslut ass up there while Vriska Serket is in the zone, so instead you knock on the hull and call up to her.

“Hello! Lady Spinneret, an old friend is in dire need of some advice!”

It takes about two seconds for a familiar spiky head to poke over the side of the deck. Vriska’s one dark eye lights up upon meeting your gaze, followed by a toothy grin that’s both menacing and completely genuine. She reaches back to grab something behind her. A rope ladder drops down and nearly nails you in the noggin, just like it did whenever you dropped by to FLARP with her.

“What the hell, bitch! I missed you!” she yells. Despite everything, you can’t help but smile. Vriska’s wild personality and no-bullshit attitude was just what you needed.

You’re very proud of yourself when you scale the ladder with ease and scramble up onto the deck without getting too much out of breath. With the amount of insane shit you’ve gotten yourself into during your travels, getting into shape came pretty easily. You’ve been told by several reliable sources that your legs are to die for.

“The 8-ball foretold your arrival. I brought snacks.” Vriska points to a bag next to her chart, not looking up from where she was drawing an impressively detailed kraken-looking thing. “Eat something before you start gabbing.”

That was sound logic, so you drag the back closer to you and start rooting around for something good. You find a bag of stinkroot chips, open that bad boy up, and start munching. Damn, did it feel good to eat something, and to also have a corporeal body to eat things with.

As you gather your thoughts, the hairs on the back of your neck prickle with the sensation of somebody’s eyes on you. You instantly look up to see Vriska staring at you. Her expression is blank, but her good eye held all the energy of a thunderstorm.

You swallow your chips. “What is it?”

“You look… different,” she says, setting down her pencil. “It’s like I can really see you now.”

“Huh?”

Vriska huffs, but she still doesn’t take her eye off you. “Before, you kinda looked like… I dunno, like somebody cut out a whole in reality and shoved the silhouette of a person inside? Like, I know what you looked like, but I couldn’t tell you the color of your hair, or what facial structure you have, or, like… dude, you have freckles.”

“I have freckles?” You reach up and touch your cheekbone, feeling the soft skin. Oh, hey, there’s some acne. Dammit. “Are they cute?”

“Sure? I think freckles are more of a human thing, so you’d have to ask John or Jade or whatever. Also you’re blonde, like Rose,” she tells you, thoughtfully scratching at her chin. “You’re still short as fuck, though. I could probably punt you off the poop deck.”

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. Congrats on not looking like a hole in reality.”

You finish off your chips and flop back to stare at the night sky. With all the time you’ve spent on Alternia, you can now name a lot of the constellations. Right now, the Empress’s Trident poked up at a forty-five degree angle behind the pink moon. “I think I know how we can overthrow the Alternian Empire.”

Vriska’s pencil falls out of her hand.

You continue. “Have you read any records on a rebellion that occurred about… like, fifteen sweeps ago? I don’t know the exact date.”

Vriska’s mouth opens and closes a couple of times, and then she nods. “I sure fuckin’ did. Sollux did some of his mumbo-jumbo and got me some documents. He called it an early wriggling day present, but I know he wants to help my little… agenda. How do you even know…?”

“Because I helped encourage the right people to do it. I was there, Vriska. Those kids were my friends, and now they’re dead.”

She’s silent for a moment. “The leader was a teal named Tyzias.”

Your eyes are hot with tears. “I knew her. We met because she tripped on the sidewalk while carrying a shitload of her homework, and I helped her pick it all up when it went everywhere. She had a matesprit named-”

“Stelsa,” Vriska mutters. “Holy shit. She worked closely with some jades who lead their little army. They caused a hell of a lot of damage to the Empire before it all went down, I’ll give them that.”

Neither of you speak for a long moment, which you appreciate as you try and hold your messy self together. The longer you think about your old friends and all the good times you had with them, the more you’re certain about what you want to do.

They deserve to be here.

Your blood pressure spikes just thinking about it.

It’s Vriska who puts your thoughts into words. “You want to go back and help them win the rebellion.”

“Yeah.”

“That’s fucking crazy.”

“Yeah.”

She scooches over to you so she can stare down into your soul. “If we combine our resources and collaborate back and forth between the past and the future, we can make it so less people die. We could even take out that pathetic bitch of an Heiress they had back in the day. With your powers…”

“It’s possible I could compact time itself to create a world where we… where we can make things right. We could even help Feferi…”

You can’t bring yourself to say it in case you jinxed something, but by the look on Vriska’s face, she knows what you mean.

“It could work,” she breathes.

Slowly, you sit back up. Your heart was pounding so hard you felt it in your skull. “How do you think the others would feel about it?”

“Oh, they’d shit themselves,” Vriska snorts. “A full-scale rebellion across time and space?”

“True.”

“But it could work!” she repeats, staring into empty space.

“And they’d have a huge advantage they never had before. Me,” you say, talking to yourself more than to Vriska. You’d created this universe with your own power. It was time to protect it. “Vriska, I need to go before I chicken out. Tell the others what’s happening and that I’m sorry if this all goes to shit.”

“Wait!”

You look back at her as she grabs your arm, claws digging into the fabric of your hoodie. “I… you need supplies. No frickin’ way you’re going anywhere without at least a hydration flask.”

You know what she’s trying to say, and your chest fills up with all the warmth of a bonfire. God, you love this absolute bitch of a kid.

Vriska drags you to your feet, and then you’re both sprinting for her hive.

Amazingly, you don’t die trying to keep up with the cerulean as you charge up the stairs to her respiteblock together. You’re still out of breath by the time you reach the top, though, but Vriska’s already grabbing a backpack and tossing shit into it.

“Get me that jacket off the door,” she orders as she tosses in what looks like a small medical kit. You obey and throw her the jacket, the black leather one with the bright red hood.

She then waves you over, and you slip around her desk to see what’s up. In her hands is a black sheath, with a matching handle sticking out at the top.

Vriska pulls the sheath off to reveal the blade: a brilliant silver-blue metal that nearly glowed in the darkness. It’s incredibly beautiful and very scary to look at.

“I’ve had this thing forever, so I’m giving it to you, okay? Don’t fucking lose it. Press that little gray button at the top of the handle to heat up the blade. Good for starting fires and cauterizing wounds.” She shoves the jacket into the backpack and hands you the dagger.

“Vriska, I don’t know what to say,” you begin, but she smacks you.

“Shut up and strap it to your belt. You better come back soon. I want a detailed report on everything. Single-spaced,” she snaps.

You grin. “Yes, ma’am. I should be back, in like, ten nights. Maybe eleven.”

“Ten,” Vriska growls. “I’m coming for your ass otherwise.”

“Noted. Tell everybody I said hi.”

“Obviously.”

You reach into that little part of yourself, which in turn reaches back out into that chaotic river that is the flow of time. You throw the anchor down and wade upstream. It’s a little rougher than usual, but you won’t let that stop you. There was no turning back now.

Time travel is always like trying to hit a moving target, but you have great aim, and when you find what you’re looking for you feel your face split into another huge smile. There’s nothing different about this part of the river than any other, but you know. When it comes to the people you care about, you always know.

Everything feels more real to you than it has in years. Two moons shine even brighter in the sky, the chilly air stinging your face, and you’re no troll but it still feels like you’re going home.

You open your eyes.

“Ten nights,” you say to Vriska, and you let yourself fall through the current.

Your name is MSPA READER, and you are currently vibing outside of the known multiverse.

Well, you don’t really use that name anymore, on account of it not actually being a name. Names sound something like Emily, or Muhammad, or Patrick, or Shamita, or a million other put-together syllables and sounds.

Names are something personal. A title is anything but.

You do have a new title, though, one you like much better.

The Guardian.

Because that’s what you became when you yoinked the timeline away from the control of Ultimate Dirk and that Director lady, whoever she was. You looked Canon-With-A-Capital-C in its ugly face, spit on it, and then bent over to wipe your ass with the fabric of reality itself. Out of desperation, love, and most importantly sheer spite, you took it upon yourself to defy fate so that there is at least one timeline where everybody gets to live happy lives. This was victory at its finest. This is what it felt like to finally get everything you wanted. Your friends? Safe. Multiverse? Secure. Hotel? Trivago.

In the vast and rich history of pro-gamer moves, you believe you might have made the most powerful move of all.

After using the Green Sun- no, sorry, the Green Sun to make your own timeline, you did what any other person would do and took a big fuckin’ snooze, curling up around your universe like a mama cat protecting her kittens. You earned it.

And, if you were being completely honest with yourself, that’s how you would have spent the rest of time.

It’s not like you didn’t want to live. No, living was good. It’s just… you were so damn tired. You’re tired of always running from place to place, person to person, era to era. You’re tired of being injured, scared, and alone no matter how many friends you made. All the gods of the Furthest Rings know you’d gone through more in like a year than most people go through during their entire lives. Couldn’t a bitch just enjoy eternity in the void?

Apparently not.

The dreams began innocently enough. Playing video games with Dave, John, and Karkat. Exploring Jade’s island with Jake and Bec. Baking with Jane. Kanaya teaching you and Sollux how to sew. FLARP-ing with Vriska.

Laying side-by-side with Roxy as you two watched the sun rise. Role-playing with Nepeta. Movie night with Eridan. Getting high off your ass with Gamzee and scaring the shit out of some teal visiting their kismesis a few hives away. Discussing politics with Feferi.

Escaping that hellhouse the Soleil twins called their home. Watching those eerie lights in the corpsefield beside Fozzer. You and Remele beating a purpleblood to death.

You barely realize how nightmares had invaded your mind until you woke up with Karako’s yowls of terror in your ears. You didn’t have ears anymore, though, or a physical form, so it just sounded like your favorite clown son was screaming all around you in the abyss.

Okay. This was fine. This was fine, you kept telling yourself. After everything that’s happened to you, you were bound to develop PTSD at some point. That was completely natural.

Except this wasn’t just PTSD. This was something else entirely, because even when you were awake you saw the faces of your oldest friends burning in your mind’s eye. Something churned in your gut, ancient and primal. It was a feeling you knew well, and was usually accompanied by you launching yourself into whatever stupid shit you found next. The longer you tried to ignore it, the stronger it became, until you were permanently wrapped up around yourself like the most pathetic ball of Guardian that had to have ever existed.

You knew long before you actually put words to what was going on.

Of course. Of course it wasn’t over, because why would you ever get to have anything for yourself? Why would you ever get to just rest? For the first time in… who even knows how long, you sob hysterically into the sleeves of your hoodie.

A galaxy twinkles in the outer shell of your universe, lighting up the zig-zag sign on your chest. Mallek’s lazy smile fills your thoughts. If at all possible, everything hurts even more, until you can’t even cry to let out the pain.

Did he miss you? Did all of them miss you?

Oh, God, Daraya. You promised her you’d take her to Earth sometime, and then you just totally fucking vanished from the face of Alternia. What a fucking dick move. Granted, you hadn’t meant to do it, but still!

Your traitor-asshole brain reminds you of the fact that all of them are dead now. As in, Tyzias tried to lead a rebellion against the Alternian Empire, and then they all got killed. Your traitor-asshole brain also notes that it’s all your fault for encouraging those kinds of ideas.

Way to go, you absolute tool.

Except… they don’t have to be gone. You are the Guardian of your universe, and you make the rules. It feels so wrong to even think about it, but… yeah. You’re basically a god now. You can do what you want and nobody has the power to stop you.

Which brings about a whole new plethora of fuckery. If you were to go back, if you were to rewrite history… are you any better than Ultimate Dirk? Granted, you’d do it out of love, not because you’re a power-hungry bastard, but still. Shenanigans of this level are not to be taken lightly, even by sad Guardians with absolutely nothing better to do.

You sleep on it, which of course results in you waking up bawling like a baby as you remember the best roleplay sesh of your life, which was when Wanshi proudly gave your Soldier Purrbeasts OC her full name: Twinklemoon. You had a Soldier Purrbeasts OC named Twinklemoon. That’s why you were crying.

That’s it. You couldn’t stand it anymore.

You need advice, and you know exactly where to get it.

<>

You find her on the 8rigantine, furiously scribbling something down on a chart with a bunch of little figurines in the middle of it. You know better than to just haul your little friendslut ass up there while Vriska Serket is in the zone, so instead you knock on the hull and call up to her.

“Hello! Lady Spinneret, an old friend is in dire need of some advice!”

It takes about two seconds for a familiar spiky head to poke over the side of the deck. Vriska’s one dark eye lights up upon meeting your gaze, followed by a toothy grin that’s both menacing and completely genuine. She reaches back to grab something behind her. A rope ladder drops down and nearly nails you in the noggin, just like it did whenever you dropped by to FLARP with her.

“What the hell, bitch! I missed you!” she yells. Despite everything, you can’t help but smile. Vriska’s wild personality and no-bullshit attitude was just what you needed.

You’re very proud of yourself when you scale the ladder with ease and scramble up onto the deck without getting too much out of breath. With the amount of insane shit you’ve gotten yourself into during your travels, getting into shape came pretty easily. You’ve been told by several reliable sources that your legs are to die for.

“The 8-ball foretold your arrival. I brought snacks.” Vriska points to a bag next to her chart, not looking up from where she was drawing an impressively detailed kraken-looking thing. “Eat something before you start gabbing.”

That was sound logic, so you drag the back closer to you and start rooting around for something good. You find a bag of stinkroot chips, open that bad boy up, and start munching. Damn, did it feel good to eat something, and to also have a corporeal body to eat things with.

As you gather your thoughts, the hairs on the back of your neck prickle with the sensation of somebody’s eyes on you. You instantly look up to see Vriska staring at you. Her expression is blank, but her good eye held all the energy of a thunderstorm.

You swallow your chips. “What is it?”

“You look… different,” she says, setting down her pencil. “It’s like I can really see you now.”

“Huh?”

Vriska huffs, but she still doesn’t take her eye off you. “Before, you kinda looked like… I dunno, like somebody cut out a whole in reality and shoved the silhouette of a person inside? Like, I know what you looked like, but I couldn’t tell you the color of your hair, or what facial structure you have, or, like… dude, you have freckles.”

“I have freckles?” You reach up and touch your cheekbone, feeling the soft skin. Oh, hey, there’s some acne. Dammit. “Are they cute?”

“Sure? I think freckles are more of a human thing, so you’d have to ask John or Jade or whatever. Also you’re blonde, like Rose,” she tells you, thoughtfully scratching at her chin. “You’re still short as fuck, though. I could probably punt you off the poop deck.”

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. Congrats on not looking like a hole in reality.”

You finish off your chips and flop back to stare at the night sky. With all the time you’ve spent on Alternia, you can now name a lot of the constellations. Right now, the Empress’s Trident poked up at a forty-five degree angle behind the pink moon. “I think I know how we can overthrow the Alternian Empire.”

Vriska’s pencil falls out of her hand.

You continue. “Have you read any records on a rebellion that occurred about… like, fifteen sweeps ago? I don’t know the exact date.”

Vriska’s mouth opens and closes a couple of times, and then she nods. “I sure fuckin’ did. Sollux did some of his mumbo-jumbo and got me some documents. He called it an early wriggling day present, but I know he wants to help my little… agenda. How do you even know…?”

“Because I helped encourage the right people to do it. I was there, Vriska. Those kids were my friends, and now they’re dead.”

She’s silent for a moment. “The leader was a teal named Tyzias.”

Your eyes are hot with tears. “I knew her. We met because she tripped on the sidewalk while carrying a shitload of her homework, and I helped her pick it all up when it went everywhere. She had a matesprit named-”

“Stelsa,” Vriska mutters. “Holy shit. She worked closely with some jades who lead their little army. They caused a hell of a lot of damage to the Empire before it all went down, I’ll give them that.”

Neither of you speak for a long moment, which you appreciate as you try and hold your messy self together. The longer you think about your old friends and all the good times you had with them, the more you’re certain about what you want to do.

They deserve to be here.

Your blood pressure spikes just thinking about it.

It’s Vriska who puts your thoughts into words. “You want to go back and help them win the rebellion.”

“Yeah.”

“That’s fucking crazy.”

“Yeah.”

She scooches over to you so she can stare down into your soul. “If we combine our resources and collaborate back and forth between the past and the future, we can make it so less people die. We could even take out that pathetic bitch of an Heiress they had back in the day. With your powers…”

“It’s possible I could compact time itself to create a world where we… where we can make things right. We could even help Feferi…”

You can’t bring yourself to say it in case you jinxed something, but by the look on Vriska’s face, she knows what you mean.

“It could work,” she breathes.

Slowly, you sit back up. Your heart was pounding so hard you felt it in your skull. “How do you think the others would feel about it?”

“Oh, they’d shit themselves,” Vriska snorts. “A full-scale rebellion across time and space?”

“True.”

“But it could work!” she repeats, staring into empty space.

“And they’d have a huge advantage they never had before. Me,” you say, talking to yourself more than to Vriska. You’d created this universe with your own power. It was time to protect it. “Vriska, I need to go before I chicken out. Tell the others what’s happening and that I’m sorry if this all goes to shit.”

“Wait!”

You look back at her as she grabs your arm, claws digging into the fabric of your hoodie. “I… you need supplies. No frickin’ way you’re going anywhere without at least a hydration flask.”

You know what she’s trying to say, and your chest fills up with all the warmth of a bonfire. God, you love this absolute bitch of a kid.

Vriska drags you to your feet, and then you’re both sprinting for her hive.

Amazingly, you don’t die trying to keep up with the cerulean as you charge up the stairs to her respiteblock together. You’re still out of breath by the time you reach the top, though, but Vriska’s already grabbing a backpack and tossing shit into it.

“Get me that jacket off the door,” she orders as she tosses in what looks like a small medical kit. You obey and throw her the jacket, the black leather one with the bright red hood.

She then waves you over, and you slip around her desk to see what’s up. In her hands is a black sheath, with a matching handle sticking out at the top.

Vriska pulls the sheath off to reveal the blade: a brilliant silver-blue metal that nearly glowed in the darkness. It’s incredibly beautiful and very scary to look at.

“I’ve had this thing forever, so I’m giving it to you, okay? Don’t fucking lose it. Press that little gray button at the top of the handle to heat up the blade. Good for starting fires and cauterizing wounds.” She shoves the jacket into the backpack and hands you the dagger.

“Vriska, I don’t know what to say,” you begin, but she smacks you.

“Shut up and strap it to your belt. You better come back soon. I want a detailed report on everything. Single-spaced,” she snaps.

You grin. “Yes, ma’am. I should be back, in like, ten nights. Maybe eleven.”

“Ten,” Vriska growls. “I’m coming for your ass otherwise.”

“Noted. Tell everybody I said hi.”

“Obviously.”

You reach into that little part of yourself, which in turn reaches back out into that chaotic river that is the flow of time. You throw the anchor down and wade upstream. It’s a little rougher than usual, but you won’t let that stop you. There was no turning back now.

Time travel is always like trying to hit a moving target, but you have great aim, and when you find what you’re looking for you feel your face split into another huge smile. There’s nothing different about this part of the river than any other, but you know. When it comes to the people you care about, you always know.

Everything feels more real to you than it has in years. Two moons shine even brighter in the sky, the chilly air stinging your face, and you’re no troll but it still feels like you’re going home.

You open your eyes.

“Ten nights,” you say to Vriska, and you let yourself fall through the current.

Your name is MSPA READER, and you are currently vibing outside of the known multiverse.

Well, you don’t really use that name anymore, on account of it not actually being a name. Names sound something like Emily, or Muhammad, or Patrick, or Shamita, or a million other put-together syllables and sounds.

Names are something personal. A title is anything but.

You do have a new title, though, one you like much better.

The Guardian.

Because that’s what you became when you yoinked the timeline away from the control of Ultimate Dirk and that Director lady, whoever she was. You looked Canon-With-A-Capital-C in its ugly face, spit on it, and then bent over to wipe your ass with the fabric of reality itself. Out of desperation, love, and most importantly sheer spite, you took it upon yourself to defy fate so that there is at least one timeline where everybody gets to live happy lives. This was victory at its finest. This is what it felt like to finally get everything you wanted. Your friends? Safe. Multiverse? Secure. Hotel? Trivago.

In the vast and rich history of pro-gamer moves, you believe you might have made the most powerful move of all.

After using the Green Sun- no, sorry, the Green Sun to make your own timeline, you did what any other person would do and took a big fuckin’ snooze, curling up around your universe like a mama cat protecting her kittens. You earned it.

And, if you were being completely honest with yourself, that’s how you would have spent the rest of time.

It’s not like you didn’t want to live. No, living was good. It’s just… you were so damn tired. You’re tired of always running from place to place, person to person, era to era. You’re tired of being injured, scared, and alone no matter how many friends you made. All the gods of the Furthest Rings know you’d gone through more in like a year than most people go through during their entire lives. Couldn’t a bitch just enjoy eternity in the void?

Apparently not.

The dreams began innocently enough. Playing video games with Dave, John, and Karkat. Exploring Jade’s island with Jake and Bec. Baking with Jane. Kanaya teaching you and Sollux how to sew. FLARP-ing with Vriska.

Laying side-by-side with Roxy as you two watched the sun rise. Role-playing with Nepeta. Movie night with Eridan. Getting high off your ass with Gamzee and scaring the shit out of some teal visiting their kismesis a few hives away. Discussing politics with Feferi.

Escaping that hellhouse the Soleil twins called their home. Watching those eerie lights in the corpsefield beside Fozzer. You and Remele beating a purpleblood to death.

You barely realize how nightmares had invaded your mind until you woke up with Karako’s yowls of terror in your ears. You didn’t have ears anymore, though, or a physical form, so it just sounded like your favorite clown son was screaming all around you in the abyss.

Okay. This was fine. This was fine, you kept telling yourself. After everything that’s happened to you, you were bound to develop PTSD at some point. That was completely natural.

Except this wasn’t just PTSD. This was something else entirely, because even when you were awake you saw the faces of your oldest friends burning in your mind’s eye. Something churned in your gut, ancient and primal. It was a feeling you knew well, and was usually accompanied by you launching yourself into whatever stupid shit you found next. The longer you tried to ignore it, the stronger it became, until you were permanently wrapped up around yourself like the most pathetic ball of Guardian that had to have ever existed.

You knew long before you actually put words to what was going on.

Of course. Of course it wasn’t over, because why would you ever get to have anything for yourself? Why would you ever get to just rest? For the first time in… who even knows how long, you sob hysterically into the sleeves of your hoodie.

A galaxy twinkles in the outer shell of your universe, lighting up the zig-zag sign on your chest. Mallek’s lazy smile fills your thoughts. If at all possible, everything hurts even more, until you can’t even cry to let out the pain.

Did he miss you? Did all of them miss you?

Oh, God, Daraya. You promised her you’d take her to Earth sometime, and then you just totally fucking vanished from the face of Alternia. What a fucking dick move. Granted, you hadn’t meant to do it, but still!

Your traitor-asshole brain reminds you of the fact that all of them are dead now. As in, Tyzias tried to lead a rebellion against the Alternian Empire, and then they all got killed. Your traitor-asshole brain also notes that it’s all your fault for encouraging those kinds of ideas.

Way to go, you absolute tool.

Except… they don’t have to be gone. You are the Guardian of your universe, and you make the rules. It feels so wrong to even think about it, but… yeah. You’re basically a god now. You can do what you want and nobody has the power to stop you.

Which brings about a whole new plethora of fuckery. If you were to go back, if you were to rewrite history… are you any better than Ultimate Dirk? Granted, you’d do it out of love, not because you’re a power-hungry bastard, but still. Shenanigans of this level are not to be taken lightly, even by sad Guardians with absolutely nothing better to do.

You sleep on it, which of course results in you waking up bawling like a baby as you remember the best roleplay sesh of your life, which was when Wanshi proudly gave your Soldier Purrbeasts OC her full name: Twinklemoon. You had a Soldier Purrbeasts OC named Twinklemoon. That’s why you were crying.

That’s it. You couldn’t stand it anymore.

You need advice, and you know exactly where to get it.

<>

You find her on the 8rigantine, furiously scribbling something down on a chart with a bunch of little figurines in the middle of it. You know better than to just haul your little friendslut ass up there while Vriska Serket is in the zone, so instead you knock on the hull and call up to her.

“Hello! Lady Spinneret, an old friend is in dire need of some advice!”

It takes about two seconds for a familiar spiky head to poke over the side of the deck. Vriska’s one dark eye lights up upon meeting your gaze, followed by a toothy grin that’s both menacing and completely genuine. She reaches back to grab something behind her. A rope ladder drops down and nearly nails you in the noggin, just like it did whenever you dropped by to FLARP with her.

“What the hell, bitch! I missed you!” she yells. Despite everything, you can’t help but smile. Vriska’s wild personality and no-bullshit attitude was just what you needed.

You’re very proud of yourself when you scale the ladder with ease and scramble up onto the deck without getting too much out of breath. With the amount of insane shit you’ve gotten yourself into during your travels, getting into shape came pretty easily. You’ve been told by several reliable sources that your legs are to die for.

“The 8-ball foretold your arrival. I brought snacks.” Vriska points to a bag next to her chart, not looking up from where she was drawing an impressively detailed kraken-looking thing. “Eat something before you start gabbing.”

That was sound logic, so you drag the back closer to you and start rooting around for something good. You find a bag of stinkroot chips, open that bad boy up, and start munching. Damn, did it feel good to eat something, and to also have a corporeal body to eat things with.

As you gather your thoughts, the hairs on the back of your neck prickle with the sensation of somebody’s eyes on you. You instantly look up to see Vriska staring at you. Her expression is blank, but her good eye held all the energy of a thunderstorm.

You swallow your chips. “What is it?”

“You look… different,” she says, setting down her pencil. “It’s like I can really see you now.”

“Huh?”

Vriska huffs, but she still doesn’t take her eye off you. “Before, you kinda looked like… I dunno, like somebody cut out a whole in reality and shoved the silhouette of a person inside? Like, I know what you looked like, but I couldn’t tell you the color of your hair, or what facial structure you have, or, like… dude, you have freckles.”

“I have freckles?” You reach up and touch your cheekbone, feeling the soft skin. Oh, hey, there’s some acne. Dammit. “Are they cute?”

“Sure? I think freckles are more of a human thing, so you’d have to ask John or Jade or whatever. Also you’re blonde, like Rose,” she tells you, thoughtfully scratching at her chin. “You’re still short as fuck, though. I could probably punt you off the poop deck.”

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. Congrats on not looking like a hole in reality.”

You finish off your chips and flop back to stare at the night sky. With all the time you’ve spent on Alternia, you can now name a lot of the constellations. Right now, the Empress’s Trident poked up at a forty-five degree angle behind the pink moon. “I think I know how we can overthrow the Alternian Empire.”

Vriska’s pencil falls out of her hand.

You continue. “Have you read any records on a rebellion that occurred about… like, fifteen sweeps ago? I don’t know the exact date.”

Vriska’s mouth opens and closes a couple of times, and then she nods. “I sure fuckin’ did. Sollux did some of his mumbo-jumbo and got me some documents. He called it an early wriggling day present, but I know he wants to help my little… agenda. How do you even know…?”

“Because I helped encourage the right people to do it. I was there, Vriska. Those kids were my friends, and now they’re dead.”

She’s silent for a moment. “The leader was a teal named Tyzias.”

Your eyes are hot with tears. “I knew her. We met because she tripped on the sidewalk while carrying a shitload of her homework, and I helped her pick it all up when it went everywhere. She had a matesprit named-”

“Stelsa,” Vriska mutters. “Holy shit. She worked closely with some jades who lead their little army. They caused a hell of a lot of damage to the Empire before it all went down, I’ll give them that.”

Neither of you speak for a long moment, which you appreciate as you try and hold your messy self together. The longer you think about your old friends and all the good times you had with them, the more you’re certain about what you want to do.

They deserve to be here.

Your blood pressure spikes just thinking about it.

It’s Vriska who puts your thoughts into words. “You want to go back and help them win the rebellion.”

“Yeah.”

“That’s fucking crazy.”

“Yeah.”

She scooches over to you so she can stare down into your soul. “If we combine our resources and collaborate back and forth between the past and the future, we can make it so less people die. We could even take out that pathetic bitch of an Heiress they had back in the day. With your powers…”

“It’s possible I could compact time itself to create a world where we… where we can make things right. We could even help Feferi…”

You can’t bring yourself to say it in case you jinxed something, but by the look on Vriska’s face, she knows what you mean.

“It could work,” she breathes.

Slowly, you sit back up. Your heart was pounding so hard you felt it in your skull. “How do you think the others would feel about it?”

“Oh, they’d shit themselves,” Vriska snorts. “A full-scale rebellion across time and space?”

“True.”

“But it could work!” she repeats, staring into empty space.

“And they’d have a huge advantage they never had before. Me,” you say, talking to yourself more than to Vriska. You’d created this universe with your own power. It was time to protect it. “Vriska, I need to go before I chicken out. Tell the others what’s happening and that I’m sorry if this all goes to shit.”

“Wait!”

You look back at her as she grabs your arm, claws digging into the fabric of your hoodie. “I… you need supplies. No frickin’ way you’re going anywhere without at least a hydration flask.”

You know what she’s trying to say, and your chest fills up with all the warmth of a bonfire. God, you love this absolute bitch of a kid.

Vriska drags you to your feet, and then you’re both sprinting for her hive.

Amazingly, you don’t die trying to keep up with the cerulean as you charge up the stairs to her respiteblock together. You’re still out of breath by the time you reach the top, though, but Vriska’s already grabbing a backpack and tossing shit into it.

“Get me that jacket off the door,” she orders as she tosses in what looks like a small medical kit. You obey and throw her the jacket, the black leather one with the bright red hood.

She then waves you over, and you slip around her desk to see what’s up. In her hands is a black sheath, with a matching handle sticking out at the top.

Vriska pulls the sheath off to reveal the blade: a brilliant silver-blue metal that nearly glowed in the darkness. It’s incredibly beautiful and very scary to look at.

“I’ve had this thing forever, so I’m giving it to you, okay? Don’t fucking lose it. Press that little gray button at the top of the handle to heat up the blade. Good for starting fires and cauterizing wounds.” She shoves the jacket into the backpack and hands you the dagger.

“Vriska, I don’t know what to say,” you begin, but she smacks you.

“Shut up and strap it to your belt. You better come back soon. I want a detailed report on everything. Single-spaced,” she snaps.

You grin. “Yes, ma’am. I should be back, in like, ten nights. Maybe eleven.”

“Ten,” Vriska growls. “I’m coming for your ass otherwise.”

“Noted. Tell everybody I said hi.”

“Obviously.”

You reach into that little part of yourself, which in turn reaches back out into that chaotic river that is the flow of time. You throw the anchor down and wade upstream. It’s a little rougher than usual, but you won’t let that stop you. There was no turning back now.

Time travel is always like trying to hit a moving target, but you have great aim, and when you find what you’re looking for you feel your face split into another huge smile. There’s nothing different about this part of the river than any other, but you know. When it comes to the people you care about, you always know.

Everything feels more real to you than it has in years. Two moons shine even brighter in the sky, the chilly air stinging your face, and you’re no troll but it still feels like you’re going home.

You open your eyes.

“Ten nights,” you say to Vriska, and you let yourself fall through the current.

[waitineedaname]

Lightning Round, Take Two

kudos to @notedchampagne for inspiring this!!

also on ao3

-

“This is a terrible idea.”

“It’ll be fine.”

“She’s going to hate me.”

“She’ll love you.”

“Love me? Love me?!” Karkat all but shrieked. “I don’t know if you’ve realized this, Dave, but I don’t exactly make the best impressions! In fact, one might even say I make the worst impressions! We’ll be lucky if she doesn’t end this visit early because she can’t stand being around me because I have the personality of a deep seated pimple!”

“Damn. The kind it hurts to pop?”

“Yes! The kind of pimple that never forms a head and settles on your upper lip so it hurts every time you move your mouth! That’s what my personality is like: persistent, painful, and pus-filled!”

“The three P’s.” Dave mused, and Karkat shot him a scowl. “C’mon man, don’t sell yourself short. You’re like a blackhead at the worst.”

“Don’t pander to me, Strider.” Karkat grumbled and crossed his arms, but he didn’t complain when Dave slung his arm over his shoulders. “I still think this would go much better without me.”

“Nah, dude, trust me, this is the best option. I mean, best case scenario, if I did this by myself, she’d be like ‘omg do u have a bf’ and I’d be like ‘yeah’ because that’s part of what I’m tryna do here, tell folks about us, but then she’d want pictures even though she’s definitely met you, and then I’d have to show her all those cute pictures I took of you when you weren’t looking, and I know you don’t want that.”

“You what?”

“You didn’t hear that.”

Karkat rolled his eyes and leaned a little closer into Dave’s side, eyes tracing the little carapacian homes they were walking by. Dusk was falling, much to his relief; they both had to make compromises when they realized their species operated at different times of day, but he still avoided leaving the hive when the sun was glaring and ready to burn him to a crisp. Dave probably could’ve flown them all the way to Roxy and Calliope’s house, but Karkat hated making him carry him that far (Dave always insisted he wasn’t that heavy, but the strain in his voice never escaped Karkat’s notice), so they were walking the last few blocks. Karkat had a sneaking suspicion Dave was fine with walking because he was trying to delay the inevitable. He was nervous, if the way his fingers were tapping on Karkat’s upper arm or the way he kept clenching and unclenching his jaw said anything. Karkat sighed and unfolded his arms to wrap one around Dave’s waist.

“You don’t have anything to worry about, you know.” He said, surprising Dave into looking down at him.

“What? Who said I’m worried? You’re the one who’s been bitching the whole evening.”

“Because I want to make a good impression on your weird paradox ancestor, shit for brains. I’m saying you don’t need to be worried about coming out to her.” He met Dave’s eyes through his shades, something he’d gotten good at over the sweeps. “Of all fucking people, she’ll be the most fine with it. That’s why you’re telling her first, right?”

“Yeah, I know, it’s just-” Dave sighed and looked away. He was better than he used to be, but holding eye contact was still hard for him, “It’s a big deal, you know? I mean, Rose probably figured it out from living in a confined space with us, and Dirk kinda got it out of context clues, but this is a first using the big B-word.”

“She’ll be fine. And if she isn’t, I’ll tear her apart and at least give her a reason to hate your boyfriend besides my shit-awful personality.”

“Aw, babe, I dunno whether to be flattered you’d attack my mom like a feral raccoon or bummed that you’re trashin’ yourself.”

“How about we compromise, and I’ll stop shit-talking myself if you stop stressing yourself out about this.”

“...Deal.”

“Good. Because I think that’s her house.”

“Oh shit.”

The two of them stopped just outside the elaborate building the carapacians had offered Roxy and Calliope back when they’d first arrived in the middle of Earth C society, both of them brimming with anxiety despite their reassurances. Karkat almost thought Dave was going to say this was too much for him and turn around and fly home, but he unwrapped himself from Karkat’s arm and instead held his hand to walk up to the front door and knock.

“Just a sec!” Roxy’s voice rang out from somewhere inside, and a few seconds later, the door opened to reveal her smiling face. “Davey!” She squealed and launched herself at him, hugging him tightly. Dave, to his credit, adapted quickly and let go of Karkat’s hand to hug her back.

“Sup, Rox.”

Roxy pulled away from Dave to turn towards Karkat, who instinctively took a half step back. She noticed and laughed. “Don’t worry, I’m not gonna hug you if you don’t wanna. Is a fistbump cool?”

“I don’t know if I would call anything a certain red asshole harangued me with in the early years of our friendship ‘cool’, but it is acceptable.” That made Roxy laugh, and he gave her a light fistbump.

“Karkat, bro, I can’t believe you’re just calling me uncool in front of my mom. What the fuck. What is this betrayal.” Dave shook his head, but he already seemed more relaxed.

“Dave, I dunno how to break this to you, but you’re related to me ‘n Dirk.” Roxy tried to adopt a sympathetic expression despite her grin. “You’ve got dork running through your veins.”

“Goddamn. You’re tellin’ me I’ve got a genetic predisposition for this shit?”

“Yup. It’s chronic. Doctors everywhere’re rushing to write studies on our family to try and isolate the ‘cool-but-really-not-cool’ gene.”

“Let’s hope it’s not replicable in a lab or anything. I’m pretty sure Earth C can only handle four of us.”

“Ohmigod, can you imagine them trying to test it out. Little lab rats wearing shades and writing wizard fic. Holy shit.” Roxy gasped at her own idea, an unbelievably pleased look on her face.

“Oh my dick. Fuck ectobiology, this is the science I want to invest in.”

“Absolutely not.” Karkat interjected. “There’s already enough of you jackasses, I think I’d have an aneurysm if any more blond lunatics were running around.”

“Lol,” Karkat couldn’t believe Roxy just said that out loud, “You’re probably right. Are we gonna keep fucking around about cool mice on the doorstep, or do you guys wanna come in?”

She stepped aside to lead them inside and showed them to the living room. “Callie’s out picking up dinner. I would’ve made something since I invited you guys over for dinner, but living in the water apocalypse did not leave me with many cooking skills.”

“Hey, no shade here.” Dave shrugged, plopping down on the couch with Karkat at his side. “I don’t think I’d be able to work an oven if I tried. We’re a strictly take-out household. Hivehold? I dunno, but we’ve barely touched the kitchen in the week we’ve been here.”

“Excuse you, I made those Hot Pockets yesterday.” Karkat countered sharply.

“Yeah, and they were like 30% cooked, dude. You put them in the microwave for thirty seconds and then panicked.”

“Fuck you, I don’t see you doing much better! In fact, I distinctly remember you eating those frozen pizza pockets like a ravenous barkbeast! It was like you’d been locked in a cave with nothing to eat for half a sweep and my delicious plate of folded sauce treats were the only thing saving you from a miserable, malnourished death!”

“I mean, a Hot Pocket’s a Hot Pocket. I’m not gonna turn one of those fuckers down, who do you think I am.”

“I think you’re a wiggler with no sense of taste.”

“You eat bugs.”

“And you put ranch on your pizza! Bricks and glass houses, Dave!”

“Dude, do trolls even have that expression? Aren’t y’all light sensitive? Why would you have glass houses?”

“Newsflash, dipshit, I’ve lived in close proximity for the majority of the past two sweeps with an overflowing fountain of pop culture references and idioms and an uppity seer that likes to make things as convoluted and difficult to understand as possible. I picked up a few human phrases! Uh, no offense, Roxy.” Karkat added at the mention of Rose.

“None taken! I’m pretty sure she gets that from Dirk anyway.” Roxy waved him off. “Take it back to the ranch on pizza thing tho, do you really do that? Is this some earth delicacy I missed out on?”

“Oh fuck yeah, it rules. You gotta try it some time.” Dave nodded, excited to get someone else to try his food crimes.

“Imma have to take a pass on that.” Roxy said, crinkling her nose.

“Finally, someone with taste!” Karkat exclaimed, and Dave gently hit his shoulder.

“I am slowly workin’ through traditional earth food tho! Or at least as traditional as you can get here. That’s where we’re getting dinner from! There’s this human/troll fusion place that Callie and I like. I dunno how authentic it is, but it tastes good at least!”

“I mean, nothing on Earth C is super authentic, it’s all like human diet slightly to the left, but it’s edible.”

“Better than the garbage we alchemized on the meteor, at least.” Karkat agreed.

“God, the fucking buffalo wings debacle.” Dave and Karkat shuddered in unison. Roxy looked amused.

“You guys spent a lot of time together on the meteor, right? And now you’re living together?” Roxy asked, and they both nodded. She had a look in her eyes that was far too reminiscent of the look Rose got when she was gearing up to psychoanalyze someone, and Karkat was hit with a stroke of panic. “Sooo, I should prob’ly do a lightning round with you too, right? Since you’re important to Dave?”

The pair shared a look and Dave shrugged, appearing nonchalant despite the way he was anxiously picking at a loose string on his jeans. “Uh, I guess?” Karkat said, bracing himself.

“I’ll start easy, I promise!” Roxy drummed her fingers on her lips as if thinking. “Hm… you’ve got ‘cat’ in your name, do you like cats?”

Karkat made a face, thrown off by the question. “I guess? I never had one, but Nepeta was pretty fucking into them, and they seemed�� fine. I can respect a meowbeast that just lazes around if it’ll leave me the fuck alone, but Nepeta’s lusus could’ve probably torn me to shreds, so…” He shrugged.

“Was Nepeta a friend from the game?” Roxy backpedaled the moment she saw Karkat’s face fall. “Oh shit, tender subject, sorry.” She worried her lip, looking for another question, then perked up. “Oh! What’s your sign? I know it’s Cancer from earth astrology and stuff, but what’s that mean for trolls?”

Karkat looked down at his chest and grimaced. “Fuck if I know, I don’t actually have a sign. I spent most of my life thinking this stupid thing meant precisely fuck all. I guess it’s a symbol of my ancestor? But I never really learned much about him since the empress always tried to erase his rebellion, and I thought that ancestor shit was highblood bullshit anyway. I guess now I know it’s not, but ugh, I could’ve happily gone my whole wretched life without meeting that douchebag.”

“We met his ancestor in the dream bubbles.” Dave explained. “Or I guess descendent? Since y’all are technically the post-scratch group? I never really understood that part.”

“Doesn’t fucking matter, he was a pretentious asswipe with his head so far up his nook it’s a wonder he was even audible, but oh god, was he audible alright.”

“Lmao, I kinda wanna meet this guy.” Roxy grinned.

“No you don’t.” Dave and Karkat said in unison, which made her laugh.

“I’ll take your word for it.” The mischievous look was back in her eyes. “Next question! Have you ever had your quadrants filled?”

Karkat almost choked. “What the fuck kind of question is that? That’s none of your fucking business!” He blustered. “My quadrants are private, and it’s my decision if I want to bring them up! Are all humans this fucking nosy or is it just the Lalondes?!”

“It’s just the Lalondes.” Dave said flatly.

“I just thought it’d be fair since I asked Dave that in our lightning round!” Roxy put her hands up in apology, but didn’t look particularly apologetic. “I was curious!”

Karkat was about to continue his rant about people feeling entitled to knowledge about virtual strangers’ quadrants, but the way Dave sat up and cleared his throat gave him pause.

“Actually, Rox,” Dave started, fidgeting a bit, “I never answered that question back on the lilypad.”

“Yeah, but that’s okay!” Roxy brushed him off. “I’m not gonna push you to answer something you’re not comfy with.”

“That’s the thing. I wanna answer you now, if that’s cool.”

“Oh!” Roxy’s eyes widened. “Of course that’s cool! That’s cooler than cool.”

Dave lifted an eyebrow, a smile pulling at his lips despite himself. “What’s cooler than being cool?”

“Ice cold!” Roxy shouted at the top of her lungs, and the two of them chanted “alright” about a dozen times while Karkat watched them in bewilderment. Humans, he thought. He’d never understand them.

“Okay, but for real tho,” Roxy said once they’d both gotten a handle on their giggles, “You wanted to say something?”

“Yeah.” Dave almost immediately looked anxious again, running his hands over his jeans. “So. You asked if I’d ever kissed anyone or-” He cleared his throat and the rest came out in a mumbled cough, “-been in love.”

Karkat held his breath, eyes flicking between Dave and a very focused Roxy.

“The, um. The answer to both of those questions is… yes? And I know you’re wonderin’ who, that’s like the next logical question, like if you ask someone if they’re hungry and they say yes, your next question is probably gonna be ‘what do you wanna eat’, unless you’re a total dick and just wanted to, I dunno, be aware of someone else’s hunger for your own sick pleasures and leave ‘em waiting like you’re some kinda sick torturer tryin’ to extract information out of a prisoner, like ‘hey are you hungry?’ ‘Yeah, I am, actually. I’ve been hanging from my ankles for a week now and I’d kill for some motherfucking KFC right now.’ ‘Interesting. Go fuck yourself.’ That’s not a very good interrogator, actually, he didn’t even try to get any information out of the guy except for the knowledge that he’s really craving some chicken, which is virtually useless, unless the interrogator is working for KFC’s competitor, like Popeyes out here tryna get the deets on their rival brands. Hey, do you think they’ve got a Popeyes anywhere on Earth C? Maybe we should start one, make a shit ton of money. Really boost the economy.”

“Dave.” Karkat cut him off before he could get too far from the topic, giving him a pointed look. “Were you actually going to say something important or were you going to just talk out of your deflated ass forever?”

“Hey man, you know you love my ass.”

“The point, Dave-!”

“Right right right.” Dave shook his head and took a deep breath before looking at Roxy again, who looked like she was might be putting things together already. “It’s Karkat. The answer to ‘who’, I mean. We’ve, uh. We’ve been dating since the meteor.”

Roxy’s whole face lit up. “Aw, congrats you guys! That’s really sweet!”

“Yeah.” Dave looked over at Karkat and gave him a tiny smile before looking a little apprehensive again. “I’d, uh, appreciate if you didn’t tell anyone though? I mean, the rest of the meteor crew probably knows because we spent… a lot of time together.”

“Most of that was platonic, though. A good two-thirds of it, at least.” Karkat countered.

“True, but they don’t know that. Far as they know, one day we were just two bros hanging out and watching movies and shit, then the next day, Vriska walks in to catch one of those bros taking a snooze on his other bro’s lap and falling off the couch the moment she announces her presence.”

“I’ll give you three fucking guesses which dumbass that was.” Karkat directed that at Roxy, and she snorted.

“Rude.” Dave nudged him. “But yeah, they’ve probably figured it out, but we haven’t officially told anyone. I haven’t even told anyone I’m, you know. Bisexual.”

“Wait, so I’m the first person you’ve told?” Roxy looked a little stunned.

“I- Yeah? I just thought you’d probably be a safe person to go to, especially since we don’t have any weird baggage like I might have with John and Jade, you’re just my alt-mom, which I guess does make things a little weird-”

“It’s a little weird, but it does mean you get a certified mom hug!” She interrupted, standing up.

“A mom hug? Dunno if I know what those are like.” Dave said, smiling a little.

“They’re like this, you big goober.” Roxy pulled him into a tight hug, pulling him down a little so he could put his head on her shoulder. “I’m proud of you, Davey. That’s a big deal, comin’ out and shit. I’m glad you felt like you could tell me.”

“...Thanks mom.” Dave’s voice was a watery mumble against her shoulder, but he seemed to have collected himself by the time they pulled away. Roxy immediately turned her sights on Karkat.

“Your turn! You’re family now, you can’t escape hugs anymore.”

“Ugh, you humans are so fucking tactile.” Karkat grumbled but resigned himself to Roxy’s affectionate squeeze.

“Hey man, don’t act like you’re not cuddly as hell. I have to pry you off of me with a crowbar to go take a piss sometimes. You should see this dude when he gets sleepy, Rox, it’s so fucking cute. Did you know trolls purr? It’s some kinda flushed noise or something and it’s the fucking best.” Dave seemed to already be relaxing now that the thing he’d been dreading was over with.

“That’s private!” Karkat hissed, embarrassed. Dave just grinned at him and sat a little closer when they took a seat again. “Do you want me airing out how you melt like a touch starved candybar left in the sunlight when I suggest you should be the little spoon? Or how you turn into a warbling puddle of Dave when I do this?” He reached over and out his hand on Dave’s knee, rubbing his thumb in soothing circles. Casual affection, Dave’s weakness.

“Aw,” Roxy cooed. Dave looked thoroughly embarrassed and made a strangled noise in his throat. Karkat gave him a smug look.

“Shut up.” He grumbled weakly and scooted a little closer so he could press against Karkat’s side and hold his hand.

“So you guys are matesprits?” Roxy asked, and Karkat’s anxiety immediately returned. Dave wasn’t the only one who had coming out to do. Dave squeezed his hand and let Karkat start since this was his thing to discuss.

“Mostly?” He offered weakly, then tried to sound more certain. “We’re kind of pale too.”

“Plus I piss you off in a pitch way sometimes.” Dave added helpfully.

“And the way you kept me from tearing Vriska apart on the meteor was sort of ashen.” Karkat admitted.

“I mean, there wasn’t really much of a chance of you tearing her apart to begin with. Spidertroll could’ve probably kicked any of our asses in her sleep, she’s fuckin’ crazy.”

“My point still stands!”

“So…” Roxy interrupted, guiding them back on topic, “You’re in all quadrants? I didn’t know trolls did that!”

Karkat winced. “They don’t. Usually. It’s extremely frowned upon.”

“Karkat’s had trouble keeping shit in one quadrant.” Dave explained for him. “He’s got a big ol’ heart full of love.”

“I’m pretty sure you’re the only person in Paradox Space to come to that conclusion about what my useless fucking pump biscuit is full of, but thanks for the thought.” Karkat rolled his eyes, defaulting to annoyance to avoid the insecurities that always gnawed at him when he thought about his relationship with quadrants. “‘Full of love’ is usually not the first thing people describe me as. More like ‘full of a burning anger’ or ‘a perpetual stream of irritable piss’ or, hell, ‘just undiluted dumbass juice!’ As far as most people are concerned, I’m Karkat ‘useless shitfit’ Vantas, and they’re not fucking wrong!”

“Okay, sure, you might be the grumpiest person in all - what, is this five universes now? I can’t keep track, but that doesn’t mean you’re not secretly a big softy.” Dave rubbed his thumb over Karkat’s knuckles. “I know that best out of probably anyone.”

“If it helps, I don’t think of you as those things!” Roxy added. Karkat gave her a disbelieving look.

“Full offense, we’ve never really ‘hung out.’”

“I mean, no, but I’ve seen you interacting with Dave and John and Kanaya and stuff, and you’ve always seemed to be a caring friend underneath all the yelling.” Roxy shrugged. “It’s nice knowing Dave’s in good hands since I’ve only been part of his family for a couple weeks. Means I don’t have to give you a shovel talk prob’ly!”

“The shovel talk? What the fuck? What does that even mean?” Karkat looked at Dave for an explanation, but he only winced.

“You know, when parents meet their kid’s partner and are like ‘you better not hurt my baby, or I’ll kill you.’ That kind of thing. I’m guessing trolls didn’t do that on Alternia?” Roxy tilted her head, seeming genuinely curious. Karkat’s face contorted as he wrapped his head around that concept.

“Okay, first of all, no we didn’t because we didn’t even have parents and our lusii wouldn’t give two shits about our quadrantmates. Second of all, you better not even think about giving me your ridiculous human ‘shovel talk’! I’ve known Dave far longer than you have, so it really should be me going ‘don’t fucking hurt him,’ but I know I don’t need to because Dave can fucking handle himself! He doesn’t need your bullshit defenses! If I ever hurt him, I trust him to be able to tell me to fuck off out of his life - not that he’d ever need to because I’d rather establish a culling system in the Troll Kingdom and offer myself up as their first sacrifice than hurt Dave!” He took a deep inhale to continue his tirade, but Dave cut him off with a pat to the cheek.

“Yo, dude, shoosh, it’s okay. It’s really not that big of a deal.” It was only after Dave cut off his train of thought that Karkat realized how worked up he was getting, and he shrank back down against Dave’s shoulder, embarrassed. “I’m pretty sure Roxy was kidding, anyway.”

“Yeah, for sure!” Roxy nodded quickly. “I didn’t mean to imply you were gonna hurt Dave or that he couldn’t take care of himself or anything. That’s hella not my place, and you guys seem very good for each other.”

“Oh. Well. Good.” He sent her a warning glare just to make sure he’d gotten the point across, then forced himself to let some tension out of his shoulders.

“It is really nice knowin’ my family’s in good hands though.” Roxy smiled. “Hell, it’s nice knowin’ I have a family! Oh my god, Dave, do you realize none of us Strilondes are straight? I mean, Rose ‘n Dirk are both gay as hell, and then you and I are bi!”

“Yeah- Wait, what?” Dave jolted a little in surprise. “Rox, you’re bi too? Since when?”

“Uh, since always?” Roxy laughed a bit. “I thought that’s why you came to me, because you knew!”

“No! Holy shit, I gotta process this for a second.”

“LMAO.” Roxy said, pronouncing every letter. “Yeah, dude! I mean, can you blame me? Like, dudes are hot as fuck, that’s like self explanatory. I mean, have you seen the Englberts? Eglishes? Whatever their family name is, John and Jake are both total babes, but then there are girls too! I mean, Janey, what a gal, right? And Callie too!”

“Right?” Dave enthused, clearly excited someone understood where he was coming from. “Girls are so fucking good, hot damn, but then? Dudes? Holy shit?”

“Yeah!” Roxy was just about throwing herself out of her chair with her excitement. “I can barely leave the house, it’s just smoochable babes everywhere I turn.”

“I’d say it’s a goddamn plight, but I got the most smoochable right here.” Dave emphasized his point with a kiss to one of Karkat’s horns, making him squawk. Dave laughed a little and turned back to Roxy. “Yo, but rewind back to Callie. Soooo, are y’all two, y’know…”

Roxy looked remarkably like Dave when embarrassed. “Uh…” The sound of the front door opening and Calliope’s greeting voice cut her off. “I’ll get back to you on that!” Dave waggled his eyebrows at her but didn’t push it.

Dinner was an enjoyable affair, despite Karkat’s near constant crippling fear of being miserable in every social engagement. The food was good and pretty close to tasting like home, and the conversation was fluid - mostly because Roxy and Dave chattered the entire time like hyperactive squirrels. Karkat tried to be annoyed with their ridiculous stream of consciousness discussions, but he couldn’t help but feel warm watching Dave talk so comfortably with his ecto-mom. And he certainly wasn’t the only person happy with the situation; every time he and Dave started bantering back and forth, he could see Roxy’s delight out of the corner of his eye, and the absolutely lovestruck look on her face whenever Calliope spoke didn’t escape him either.

Eventually, though, they had to head home - though Dave and Karkat had both shifted their sleep schedules to be active in the afternoon and most of the night, the majority of their human friends were still diurnal and needed to go to bed eventually - so after a few more hugs from Roxy, they were sent on their way.

Dave landed them down the street from their hive, and Karkat didn’t complain about having to walk that last distance. The Troll Kingdom was just now starting to wake up, stores and restaurants lighting up, trolls in suits rushing to their early jobs, and young trolls getting ushered off to school. It was so different from Alternia, but Karkat thought he could probably get used to the differences if it meant he didn’t have to worry about getting culled at a single glance at his blood color. Maybe it was too early to tell, but if he let himself feel just the slightest bit optimistic for his future, he had a feeling he could be really happy here. He could live a peaceful, successful life on Earth C, and if the cheerful way Dave was swinging their clasped hands meant anything, he wasn’t the only one feeling hopeful.

“So,” He prompted, leaning into Dave’s shoulder, “I guess that could have been more horrible.”

“Yep.” Dave said, popping the ‘p’. “We’ll have to scrap those emergency plans. Cancel our name changes and facial reconstructions and flights to the other side of Earth C, no need to run away immediately.”

“I don’t know, we might have to keep that shit pencilled in. We still need to tell John.” Karkat reminded him, and Dave groaned.

“Oh fuck. Yeah, never mind, you sure we can’t just fuck off into another universe? Universe D here we come. The D stands for Davekat ‘cause it’ll just be us, babe. It also stands for Dick because, come on, it’s us, of course it does. Also Dinosaurs just ‘cause. Do you think dinosaurs are a universal constant? Like, did dinosaurs exist for you guys? Or- oh shit, do you think they evolved differently? Are trolls just super evolved dinosaurs?”

“Dave,” Karkat gave him a look, “I think I would know if I was a dinosaur.”

“I dunno, dude, maybe we’re all dinosaurs-”

“Okay, I know when to cut that shit off.” Karkat rolled his eyes and let go of his hand to unlock their door. “Seriously, I think… that went okay. Less than horrid.”

“Less than horrid, huh? That’s a big compliment coming from you, are you feeling okay? Are you gettin’ some kinda fluffy feelings from hanging out with Roxy too long, ‘cause like, I get it.”

“Shut up. All I’m saying is this might not have been as much of an ordeal as we thought, this ‘coming out to everyone we know’ thing.”

“Maybe. You might be right.” Dave admitted, following him inside. “But that involved way too many emotions, and I think all my brain’s been used up for the rest of the day for anything that involves more thought than playing Xbox for seven hours straight. You down?”

“Fuck yes.”

[carmineclock]

Trace 11:30 AM

> Oh boy. Sure, news started to get around. Even one of your bosses got wind of it. That mixed with a wonder hangover and none of the adrenaline and euphoria of the previous day.. feels bad, man. You're cuddled up somewhere with your moirail, groaning loudly as you put your phone down. "Man, I'm probably in trouble." Sure, you could just keep pretending to not know anything, but that's probably gonna come biting you in the ass in one way or another.

Nepeta 7:32 PM

> You are perfectly content starting the new year by cuddling your...your fiancé? Wow. That's gay as hell. You don't think too much of it when he says he's in trouble just yet and simply kiss his nose. "Drank that much? I mean, me too. Not a party without, right?"

Trace 8:28 PM

"If only." > You drag a hand over your face, then bury your face somewhere into her side. Make this quick and painless, you think, and yet it takes you at least another minute to continue. "I killed Droog's daughter" you just say drily. You feel... accomplished. But not really proud. Definitely not a matter for celebrations, not only because it's an awful and dirty job, but also because you can sense a big mess still waiting for you to deal with.

Nepeta 8:34 PM

> You busy yourself with petting his head in the meantime. There, there. Must be one killer head ache. Maybe he got into some embarrassing shit while you weren't looking? Can't be too bad right? > Your hand immediately stops moving when he does finally speak up. "Haha... You what? That's a shitty joke to start the new year off with Trace." > Your short nervous laugh sounds almost hysterical in your ears. He didn't. He wouldn't. That's outrageously stupid. He would have told you.

Trace 8:38 PM

> You try to force a grin, but you're not really feeling it right now. "Not a joke." > Well, she doesn't seem very thrilled right off the bat, which is actually part of the reason you didn't tell her about any of this beforehand.

Nepeta 9:11 PM

> It's at that point that you gently push him off you to get a look at his face. "When? How? Why?" > Not thrilled doesn't even begin to cover it. You aren't quite sure if you are angry or sad. Betrayed? All of these? None? You want more facts before you start screaming.

Trace 9:41 PM

> When she pulls away, your heart sink. You sit up, a frown on your face. "Yesterday evening. Because Droog overstepped the mark one too many times." > You partially did this for her. Because of her. But you never really expected any gratitude. Yet, her reaction has you worried.

Nepeta 10:04 PM

"Which daughter did you kill?" > You know Droog has two daughters. You have to admit, you'd care a lot less about Kanayas possible death. You'd still be upset at him but..... He knows damn well that Aradia is close with your boyfriend. That only makes it worse.

Trace 10:42 PM

> Well, frankly, her boyfriend being so close with Crew was gonna be an issue sooner or later anyway. That's why dating anyone involved with them is a terrible idea LOOKING AT ALL OF YOU OTHER FELTS. "The sheep one. Aradia. She was expecting an early death already anyway."

Nepeta 10:57 PM

> HE'S NOT CREW THOUGH TRACE. Not yet. "Why. Do you...You realize what this means right? And you didn't...You didn't even tell me you were going to do this shit? You didn't even let me try to help.  You didn't...That's the whole point of being your Moirail and you didn't even tell me." > Your voice just keeps getting louder until you just sob.  That is not how you imagined to start the new year with your fiancé.

Trace 11:06 PM

> Oh. Oh no. This makes you feel worse than anything Scratch or anyone else might have in store for you. "Because it should have never involved you. I.. D- don't cry, please.." > You just sit there. Should you hug her? You want to, but.. you're kind of the reason why. Fuck.

Nepeta 11:44 PM

"But it does involve me! Of course it involves me! You did this because of me! Even if you didn't... I'm your Moirail. You should let me try to calm you down before you start a fucking gang war for me. Before you kill my boyfriend's Moirail for me. Before...Fuck! Fuck Trace! Why?"

Trace 11:52 PM

> You're honestly at a loss of words. This... this is not how this was supposed to go. At all. You didn't want to upset her, especially not that much. You open and close your mouth a few times to respond before you can get anything out. What are you even supposed to say. Sorry? That doesn't really feel right. "That's not what I wanted- I didn't think- I..."

January 3, 2019

Nepeta 12:06 AM

"Yeah. Yeah, you didn't think did you? Not even for a second, to consider my feelings. To consider talking to me. To consider trusting me." > You are still crying but you definitely switched to anger at this point. He really didn't think about you for a second, did he?

Trace 12:12 AM

"I- I did, but- fuck, I'm sorry." You can't help the tears at this point either. You deserve this, you know it. Obviously. But she didn't. Good job, Trace. You knew this was a stupid plan, but you've apparently been too blind with hate to realize just how stupid.

Nepeta 1:08 AM

"No you didn't. You thought about revenge. You thought about Droog. You did. Not. Think about me." > Yo take a deep breathe and wipe your tears away. Calm down. Don't yell now. "What was even the  point of proposing to me when you go and do shit like this behind my back? You kept this from me on purpose. There's going to be war Trace, and you didn't even tell me. Did you..Did you really think I'd be happy about this? Do you know so little about me?"

Trace 1:25 AM

> You run a hand up over your face and hair where you claw into your scalp. Just. Frustrated and desperate. You shut your eyes, to keep the tears inside, but also because you can't face her any longer. God, Trace, you idiot. "No, I... I knew you wouldn't, that's why.." you barely get out. "I fucked up. I know."

Nepeta 1:32 AM

"Then how? How can you dare to tell me this was for ME?" > You can't remember the last time you feel this betrayed.  Maybe it's a first. You've been mad at Trace before but this? This is something else. "What's the whole point of our relationship if you do shit like this Trace? Please? Please tell me."

Trace 1:42 AM

> Suddenly you're filled with fear. Is she- is she really doubting your relationship over this? "I- I love you.. and you never fail to make me feel better.." But you failed her, obviously. "Nepeta, please.." You choke and your voice cracks. "I'm.. I'm sorry."

Nepeta 1:49 AM

"No. No I obviously DO fail to make you feel better. If I didn't, you wouldn't have kept this from me. I would have talked you out of this, and we wouldn't be here." > He looks so pathetic. He regrets it, you can see that. But..That doesn't mean you can just forget this. It hurts you to see him like this, but even more so it makes you angry. You could have easily avoided this Trace. "A sorry isn't fixing this. Three hundred sorrys aren't fixing this. Just. Just go okay? And...And take these." > With that you throw your rings at him. A bit dramatic, but you can't bear looking at them right now. "Give them back to me when you really trust me. Then we can talk about marriage."

Trace 2:08 AM

> That hits you like a truck. Telling you to get out, sure, you had that coming. The rings - that utterly shatters your heart. Not just yours, Fin's too. Great, you didn't just ruin your own relationship, huh. > With shaky hands you collect the me rings, then hastily make your way out the door without another word, before you break down right there. Fuck. Fuck all of this. Fuck Droog. And especially fuck yourself. Fucking idiot. You retreat into your own room where you let everything out - cry, punch and muffle yourself in a pillow. You need a good while to calm down before you can spend even a single thought on how to do damage control for this whole thing. You're probably not gonna have the heart to tell Fin about the rings for now, either.

[liohart-blog]

“The other night didn’t go as planned,” Rubenn’s voice crackles over the speaker, “but we still want you here. I talked to Eltani, she agreed. Maybe we can come up with something new? Something different from our original agreement.”

“I don’t know...”

“Can I do anything to help?”

Your free hand holds the edge of the windowsill, looking out at the city around you. “No, it’s... it’s fine. It’s okay. I guess I’d... yeah.”

“Okay.” Rubenn sounds relieved. “You scared me there for a bit, baby, I thought you were upset-”

“Don’t.”

The instant it leaves your mouth, your shoulders tense. You shouldn’t have said that. You shouldn’t have said that, oh god, what did you do...

“Sorry?”

You grit your teeth. How do you do this? You did it once before, with Equius... you can do it again, can’t you?

“Don’t... call me that.” You force out every word, and each one is more painful. “Don’t call me ‘baby.’”

“But... you are, aren’t you? You’re my baby. My Nepeta.”

“We’re. We’re not... a thing, Rubenn.” You want to tear your hair out. You cover your face with your hand, turning away from the window and digging your claws into your skin, trying desperately to find your strength. “We’re not together. I don’t. want... this.”

There’s dead silence for a moment, and that stings more than any strike. Then you hear Rubenn’s voice, soft and sweet: “Yeah. Okay. If that’s what you want.”

It sounds like she’s about to say something else when there’s a crackle, a clatter, a crash that startles you into dropping your phone. You desperately try to catch it and bring it back up to your ear, just in time to have your eardrums blown out by Eltani’s shrill hiss: “YOU BREAK HER HEART, I’LL FIND YOU AND I’LL KILL YOU, I’LL RIP YOU APART YOU SELFISH LITTLE-”

This time, instead of dropping it, you throw it. It hits the sofa and falls onto the cushions, the screeching sound unintelligible, but still audible even at a distance. With your back against the wall, you wait it out until the line goes dead, and when finally it does, you slide... slowly, down the wall, until you’re sitting on the floor.

Now, you allow yourself to cry.

[ufuckingpastry]

Bad Bull Boys

Chapter 5: Little Game

AO3 Link

First Chapter

The band, Feferi, Nepeta, and Gamzee arrived at the laser tag place. They borrowed Mr. Vantas’ van since Shanahan refused to drive them anywhere that day, all of them piling in and Feferi taking the wheel. As soon as they started driving, Karkat grabbed the seat and didn’t let go until she made a complete stop in the parking lot.

“And I thought Shanahan was bad!” he shouted, nearly flinging himself from the car. Feferi only laughed and locked the van.

“If you think she’s bad, you purr-obably shouldn’t let me drive!” Nepeta said as she threw an arm over his shoulder. The group entered the building and went up to the counter to figure out the details of their time. Everyone pitched in on the payment and it came down to deciding who was on what team. There were only six of them and it looked like it might be more fun if they split up in two teams. That way, no alliances could be formed to gang up on one teams. However, it still came down to how to split up the group.

“How about this?” Nepeta started after a couple minutes of arguing. “You boys against us?” It sounded like a good idea; Equius nodded his agreement, but Karkat interrupted.

“Hold on, won’t that be unfair? Us four against you two?”

Gamzee winced slightly, chewing their lip. They glanced at Equius, but he held his tongue. Gamzee was somewhat grateful for that; they didn’t want to come out to both Tavros and Karkat in a place as public as this. Nepeta opened her mouth to clarify, but Feferi stepped in and did it for her.

“I think she means, you boys, as in the Bad Bull Boys. And then us girls and Gamzee. Make sense?” Feferi asked, gesturing at the band. She grabbed Gamzee and pulled them in next to her. Tavros looked sad at the loss, but Gamzee smiled.

“Yeah, that sounds pretty motherfucking fun, sis. Even teams, you know,” he added. With the teams finalized, they were fitted with the vest and the laser guns and set out on opposite ends of the room. When Gamzee first walked into the room, they had to stop and stare. The room was dark; the only lights were the black lights hanging from the ceiling. The theme of the place was a bunch of ruins in a jungle. The ‘ruins’ were three stories high with many places to hide behind and climb up on. Feferi and Nepeta led Gamzee towards the main building. The three of them scanned their surroundings for the opposing team. Gamzee couldn’t see anything and the music playing all around them covered any footsteps they’d hear.

As Gamzee was running up the stairs to the second level, their vest buzzed and a red light flickered at the center. They looked around and saw Karkat dive across the floor to avoid Nepeta’s aim. Feferi tugged Gamzee to the side and she scanned the floor. She went quiet, took aim, and fired a couple shots at someone jogging across the floor. Equius shouted as he got hit and hid behind a crumbling wall. The light on Gamzee’s chest flickered back to green and they were up and jogging towards the third level.

“Found you!” Tavros shouted right as he shot both Gamzee and Nepeta. As they waited for their vest lights to flicker back to green, he jumped down from the ledge he was on and jogged away before Feferi could hit him.

“Shit, we’re going to have to make a plan if we’re going to be able to hit any of them,” Feferi said, taking cover in a little room.

“What if we split up and going looking for them that way?” Gamzee suggested, adjusting their vest. The girls agreed and they ran from the room in different directions. Gamzee was caught immediately and they cursed. If only they could get one shot in! They kept watch as they moved back on the floor, making sure to look up every so often. When they heard someone talking, Gamzee hid behind a wall and listened as hard as they could.

“It looks like they split up. I caught Gamzee as he was leaving, but I lost him,” Karkat whispered loud enough for the other to hear. “I think Equius went to the top, but I’m not sure. I’m going to secure the second level, okay? You look around on the ground.” It was quiet as Karkat ran off—Gamzee stayed hidden as he passed by their hiding spot. Thankfully, he didn’t see them. Gamzee didn’t hear anyone leaving so they guessed that Tavros was still standing there. When they peeked out behind their hiding spot, sure enough, Tavros was standing there.

Gamzee chewed their lip and checked out their boyfriend. He was hot as hell in that vest with his laser gun resting on his shoulder. He stood wide open for attack and an idea formed in Gamzee’s head. Time to get that one shot in.

“Hey bro,” Gamzee called and Tavros spun around, his gun ready. When he saw Gamzee sauntering over, he lowered his gun.

“Uh, hey Gamzee. Are you, having fun?” Tavros asked and Gamzee smiled. Their plan looked like it was gonna work!

“Yeah, but I keep getting shot. That’s three times now. It’s not fair,” Gamzee whined. Tavros let his gun drop to his side and Gamzee stepped closer, putting a little sway to their hips.

“Oh, well, uh,” Tavros started, licking his lips and his eyes dropped down to Gamzee’s hips. Realizing that Gamzee was still there and waiting for him to finish, he coughed and his gaze snapped back up to Gamzee’s eyes. “Maybe the next round we could make our own team? That way, I could, uh, protect you.”

“Oh, that sounds so sweet, Tavbro,” Gamzee whispered, standing close enough that they could reach out and stroke Tavros’ cheek. He pressed into the touch and smiled when Gamzee leaned forward and kissed him. It was a soft and sweet kiss and Tavros’ eyes fluttered shut. He tried deepening the kiss and didn’t notice Gamzee lifting their gun to his vest. Gamzee pulled away when Tavros’ vest buzzed, grinning wickedly.

“Thanks for the free shot, bro!” they shouted as they ran off. Nepeta appeared to their left and high-fived them. Tavros watched Gamzee run off, a look of betrayal on his face. For good measure, Nepeta shot him again when his vest flickered green.

The round ended soon after and Karkat chewed Tavros out for dropping his guard and letting both Gamzee and Nepeta get a shot in. Tavros rolled his eyes and sighed, asking to see if they were playing another round. While they talked, Gamzee watched from the sidelines. Tavros was the only shot they got in, but it was nice knowing that they didn’t completely fail. Feferi and Equius apparently had a shootout between them while Gamzee and Tavros talked, but it looked like Feferi won that. Twelve shots to his nine. Gamzee smiled happily while Feferi grinned like a shark. Equius patted her on the back while she celebrated her victory.

Bzzt! Gamze jumped as their phone went off. They pulled it out, checked the number, and hurried out the doors for some privacy with a frown on their face. Why was their manager calling them?

“Hello?” Gamzee asked, hoping that the phone hid the worry in their voice.

“Makara, you need to come in tomorrow morning,” the manager replied without any greeting. Gamzee blinked, their frown deepening. They had to work tomorrow? No, that was wrong. Gamzee checked their schedule several times before going with the band. They had at least another week off!

“Uhm, sorry sir, but I’m not scheduled to work for another week?”

“Matrey can’t find anyone to cover her shift so it’s come down to you taking her place for tomorrow.”

“Sir, I’m sorry, but I’m not even in town. I can’t possibly—“

“Makara.”

Gamzee snapped their mouth shut, swallowing the rest of their words. They waited quietly, their gaze directed on the ground while the manager listed off the several times Gamzee had missed their shift for whatever reason. With each one, they winced and hunched lower and lower into their shirt. Finally, the manager coughed and added one final command, “Makara, if I do not see your face here tomorrow, you are fired.”

The manager hung up and Gamzee was left standing with their phone to their ear and nearly all the happiness drained out of them. With a tired sigh, they pocketed their phone and walked back in, their head hanging. Feferi ran right up to them, her face bright and excited as words spilled out of her mouth.

“Hey! We were just talking about starting another round and Tavros said he wanted… Gamzee, what’s wrong?” she asked, now seeing the frustration and disappointment spread across their face.

“I’m real motherfucking sorry, guys,” Gamzee started, not looking at their faces. Gamzee didn’t want to see their expressions when they received the news. “I g-gotta work tomorrow.”

“I thought you said you had all the fucking time in the world to hang out with us!” Karkat spoke first. Gamzee flinched as he raised his voice. He started to say something else, but Nepeta smacked him back and gave him a glare.

“Can’t you call off?” Nepeta asked kindly. Gamzee shook their head, bringing their arms up and crossing them over their chest. Their hands were trembling.

“I’m covering for someone. She couldn’t find anyone to fill in for her so the management told me that… That I…” Gamzee chewed their lip, subtly shaking and sniffing. They didn’t want this to happen. They didn’t want to be the center of attention like this. They felt horrible; they were going to cry and everyone was watching them and they hated it so much. They felt like they were going to be sick just from all the anxiety tearing them up inside. “I gotta work. I’m sorry.”

“Uh, I’ll, I’ll take you home,” Tavros replied, immediately going to Gamzee’s side. He wrapped an arm around their waist comfortingly and hugged them close. “Shanahan isn’t driving today, so I’ll, uh, I’ll drive you. Hey, Fef, can you drive us back really quick?” Feferi nodded, starting for the door. Gamzee sniffled and hid their face in Tavros’ shoulder. He patted them comfortingly and led them after Feferi. As the three of them left the building, Gamzee heard Karkat ask, “Why is he crying?”

Gamzee was silent the entire trip from the laser tag place to Tavros’ house so he could borrow a car. The two climbed into the car and drove off for Annadale. Soft music played from the radio and Gamzee rested their head against the car seat, watching the landscape fly by. They sniffled every so often and Tavros moved his hand to rest on their thigh, rubbing his thigh comfortingly as he stared at the road. No one talked for the first half hour and Gamzee felt utterly horrible and guilty for making Tavros have to drive him all the way home.

“B-bro?” he started, sniffling again. Tavros hummed to show that he was listening. “I’m… I’m sorry.”

“Huh? For what?” Tavros asked, taking his hand away from Gamzee’s thigh so he could pass a truck on the road. Once they were past it, he slowed down to a more manageable speed and returned his hand to Gamzee’s thigh. Gamzee was thankful for that.

“For making a brother leave and stop having fun because this motherfucker needs to go to work. I didn’t think I’d be so much of bother to you and the band, bro.”

“What? No, Gamzee, you’re not a bother! It’s shitty you got surprised with work on your time off, but if you have to go, you have to go. Trust me, Gamzee. I have my fair share of shitty work experiences.”

“Stop kidding me brother,” Gamzee snorted. “Equius told me about your old band member, but what kind of shitty experience did you ever have with the band?”

“Hey, dude,” Tavros shot back, flipping the car’s headlights on. “I was sixteen. I had a job before I joined the band. I worked in a fast food restaurant and I hated it! Shit, I don’t, even go back to that place. I've seen too, much, bro.”

Gamzee cracked a smile and Tavros fell into a fit of giggles over how ridiculous that sounded. Once they were over their laughter, Tavros continued.

“I taught myself how to play the guitar. It wasn't all fun and games, even before Vivvan got us together. It was hard. It was difficult. I've had fans tell me how, talented I am and how gifted I am to be able, to play the guitar and sing as well as I can. To be, uh, perfectly honest, I'm not.”

Gamzee blinked, looking at Tavros with disbelief clear in their eyes. They were about to protest when Tavros interrupted him.

“No, Gamzee, here's the thing: I'm not gifted. I wasn't born with the ability to sing or play the guitar as well, as I do now. I spent most of my childhood in a church choir. I learned to, sing there and it was fun. I wasn't the best in the beginning. No one is. But I worked at it. I loved singing and, I kept trying to get better at it. Some point in my life, I decided I wanted to learn how to play the guitar. I taught myself. I looked up, videos and the like and I taught myself the basic stuff and then the more advanced stuff. I went to lessons after a year or two, when I could afford it, and my teacher told me I was horrible at playing the guitar.” Tavros laughed fondly at the memory. “But I kept trying. I practiced late into the night and I practiced early in the morning and look at me now! There's still, room for improvement and I'm trying to be the, best I can be.

“The thing is, Gamzee... Life can be really shitty sometimes. You've gotta go to a shitty job so you can afford food for the week and then, one day, your life may get so great and amazing. Life has its ups and, uh, it has its downs. If it only had its ups, it'd get boring after a while. Same with its downs, but too many downs can get really, bad, in some cases. You know?”

Gamzee nodded, knowing exactly what Tavros meant. They appreciated the advice and the attempt to cheer them up, but they still felt bad for ending the fun early. Maybe not as bad, since Tavros seemed okay with it. After all, Gamzee couldn't say no to working tomorrow, unless they wanted to lose their job. They could not afford that.

Though... Tavros' words struck a chord with them. They looked down at their hands and thought about the hobbies they gave up because they worried they weren't good enough to keep going. Painting was the biggest thing in their life for the longest time. Painting their face, painting the walls, or painting the view outside their window. When school got too busy for them, they gave it up. After all, there were so many people so motherfucking better than they were so why even try, right? But after listening to Tavros talk about his attempts at improving his abilities and the effects of his practice and motivation made Gamzee want to pick up painting again. They thought of the abandoned sketchbook in their room and they imagined taking out their brushes, dipping them into their paints—did they even have paint anymore? Or did they throw it all away? Gamzee sighed and leaned back against the car seat. They would have to check their room and probably take a trip to a craft store and buy some paint. Gamzee chewed their lip. They would have to make sure they had enough of a budget for some new paints.

“Are you alright, Gamzee?” Tavros asked when Gamzee fell silent for a long time. They jumped in their seat, startled out of their thoughts.

“Oh, yeah bro. I'm fine! Just got to thinking about what you were saying. Getting my mind all wrapped around it and the like, you know?”

“Yeah, I know what you mean. Oh, yeah, I think we're coming on Annadale. You're gonna have to help, me find your place again.”

Once they were in the city, Gamzee directed Tavros to the apartment. They considered telling Tavros to stay in the car and they would part ways there, but they couldn't carry their stuff up in one trip by themself. It wasn't like Gamzee wanted to leave Tavros as soon as possible. It was just that their apartment wasn't the greatest. Or... good in really any way possible. It was what they could afford and they lived by themself so they felt as though they really couldn't complain. As long as nothing broke, they were good.

Gamzee led Tavros up the stairs to their apartment, keeping their gaze down as they unlocked the door and showed Tavros inside. He stepped through, looking around at the entry way, and Gamzee risked a quick glance at his face. It looked worried and maybe a bit disapproving. Gamzee felt their stomach twist up in a knot and hoped Tavros wouldn't say a word about how bad the apartment was. Thankfully, when Tavros opened his mouth, all he asked for was where to put Gamzee's stuff.

“Just toss it over by the couch, bro. I'll get to it when I've got the time.” Gamzee yawned, stretched, and glanced Tavros' way to see him right before he got in real close to them. Tavros had this mischievous grin on his face as he walked Gamzee back up against the wall. Gamzee laughed, a little nervous, but his nerves up and flew out the window as Tavros leaned in to kiss them. He stopped an inch from Gamzee's waiting lips and asked, “Can I kiss you?”

“Yeah bro!” Gamzee nodded, all eager and shit. “I'm always down for kissing you.” Tavros laughed and closed the distance. He pressed his lips all soft and sweet against Gamzee and they nearly melted into a puddle of warm and happy feelings. They kissed back, wrapping their arms around Tavros' broad shoulders, and tugged him close until he was flush against their body. Tavros laughed again and deepened the kiss, his hands drifting down from their sides to grope their ass. Gamzee smiled into the kiss, wiggling against Tavros' hands. They yelped, a little surprised, when Tavros got a handful and squeezed. He paused and checked Gamzee's face, but they gave him the go ahead.

It was fun kissing Tavros. He was big and warm and he trapped Gamzee up against the wall with those big strong arms of his. They sighed, all happy and shit, and wished they could kiss Tavros forever. He was like a miracle in Gamzee's eyes. Tavros was able to turn a day that had turned all motherfucking wrong and turn it into one that felt all motherfucking right. Gamzee nodded to themself. A right fucking miracle.

Gamzee was lost in their thoughts, unaware as Tavros moved from kissing their lips to kissing their jaw and then their neck until he was trailing kisses down to their shoulder. His hand trailed up underneath their shirt. It felt good and Gamzee was digging it. They stretched out their neck, encouraging more kisses and Tavros happily obliged. His hand crawled further up Gamzee's shirt as he mouthed their skin. His other hand, the one still gripping their ass, squeezed once and slide up to their hip. He hooked a thumb in the waistband of their pants, grinned, and rolled his hips against them so they could feel the tent in his pants.

Gamzee stiffened, their soft sighs catching in their throat.

Tavros stopped.

“Gamzee?” Tavros asked, concerned. He took a step back, removing his hands from under their shirt and their pants, and Gamzee snapped back to what was going on. They tried to smiled reassuringly and reached for his hands. He let Gamzee take them, but he didn't let Gamzee put his hands back on their body.

“Come on, Tav,” they called, acting hopeful and maybe sexy, but Tavros saw right through it. Tavros saw how uncomfortable they were in the way their smile didn't stretch all the way over their face. He saw it in the way they held themself, all tight and anxious and worried.

“Gamzee,” he said, his voice firm and he saw Gamzee flinch and worry their lip. “Do you want to...?” he asked, gesturing towards where he thought Gamzee's bedroom might be.

“Well, I...” Gamzee fidgeted and looked anywhere but at Tavros. Tavros rubbed his thumbs comfortably over Gamzee's hands, waiting for a reply. “Bro, I do. It sounds fun as all heck, 'specially with a miracle like yourself, but...”

“But?” Tavros asked, waiting for Gamzee to say it. He had to hear either an enthusiastic yes before he continued in the direction he wanted to go. Anything less than that and he was going to stop.

“Bro,” Gamzee whined, but Tavros stayed silent. They chewed their lip and gave in. “I guess, bro, if you want to, I can. Don't... don't mind it none. You've been all nice to me today and you motherfucking deserve it, so yeah. Yeah, let's do it.” Gamzee smiled reassuringly again. Tavros looked down at their hands and shook his head.

“Gamzee,” Tavros started, holding onto Gamzee’s hands. “I’m not being nice to you just so I can, get into your pants. I can tell you’re uncomfortable with this moving forward and, it’s okay. We can go at any pace you like. Slow, fast, completely stop. Whatever you’re comfortable with.”

Gamzee stared at Tavros, lip quivering. Tavros gave them a warm, comforting smile and Gamzee felt like they didn’t deserve all the kindness Tavros was showing them. Their hands were warm in his and they felt good and nice and all soft with Tavros here with them, but they couldn’t help but hold back. Tavros didn’t really know everything about them and they wanted him to know before they went any further. Gamzee opened their mouth, but worry pulled them back. What if Tavros didn’t understand? What if Tavros didn’t want to date them after they told him? What if they didn’t like them at all? Gamzee closed their mouth and looked down at their hands intertwined.

“I…” they whispered, their voice shaking. They could tell him right now and get it over with, but if Tavros reacted badly then… They didn’t want to ruin the night any more. “Can we wait?” he asked instead. “I don’t think I’m ready yet, bro. That okay?”

Tavros smiled warmly and nodded. He kissed Gamzee’s forehead and squeezed their hands reassuringly.

“Yeah, it’s okay.”

Tavros stayed over a little longer after that, cuddling with Gamzee on the couch and kissing. Unfortunately, Tavros had to leave after a while so Gamzee could get some sleep and get to work on time. Tavros gave him one last goodnight kiss as he walked out the door and Gamzee felt so good. Even though he had turned down them fucking, Tavros still stayed for a while and Gamzee was so grateful for that. They cleaned up before bed, checked the alarm on their phone, and fell asleep with a smile on their face.

The next morning, Gamzee stumbled across the floor, his hand on his mouth to cover up his yawn. He showered, made breakfast, and drove off to work. He kept his head down as he clocked in and passed his boss, making his way to the checkout lines. One of his coworkers, Issuko, waved to him.

“Morning, kid! Didn’t think I’d see you today, huh?”

Gamzee sighed and nodded, explaining that he was covering for Matrey. Issuko shook his head, muttering something about her taking off too many days. Gamzee liked the old man and was glad when the management allowed him a chair. Issuko had been in a bad accident when he was younger and it really fucked over his knee. He always liked talking about how he was gonna straighten the rest of them out with his cane. Gamzee liked to joke back when he could, telling him that with all the stickers his grandkids put on the cane, it was sure to cushion the landing. That always seemed to prompt Issuko to bring up his cane and show off any new stickers to anyone who would be looking.

Today, though, Gamzee didn’t feel much like talking. He wanted to be back with the band and hang out with them. Their lives seemed so much better than his life at the grocery store. At break, Gamzee checked his phone and saw some pictures Tavros had sent him, including the message, “Wish you were here.” Gamzee texted him back, telling him he wished he was with them too.

[carmineclock]

Trace 7:23 PM

[pvt @ Kankri @♠ Leo ♠ (CA/AD/KV/PSI/ARQ) ] 03: I may need some advice. Are you free?

Kankri 7:26 PM

KV: As a matter of fact yes. Although if you want emotional advice there are far better superior people in this house with the capabilities you need, however I can help. What is it you need Trace?

Trace 7:30 PM

03: Not so much emotional. But rather professional, preferably discreet and urgent. 03: Where are you at?

Kankri 7:33 PM

KV: I'm eating at the kitchen right now, if you want something professional and urgent meet me in the library in 3 minutes. I'll wrap this up.

Trace 8:23 PM

03: Sounds good. > You head into the library right away, because you're aware none of this should wait any longer than possible. The time until Kankri arrives you spend making sure no one is nearby to listen in, then sit down and try not to let anxiety overcome you.

Kankri 8:31 PM

> You enter the library, annoyed that he so much dared to interrupt your food hours but it's Trace and you like Trace. You won't even let him know you are irritated. > You spot him and sit down in front of him. "I'm here. So... Illustrate me, what is it? How can I help you."

Trace 8:33 PM

> Take a deep breath. "So. You may or may not have seen some news about a fire. And Snowman asking me to investigate. Thing is, I don't need to go investigate, because I, uh, have been involved." > Not with the fire, to be fair.. But it's not hard for you to put 2 and 2 together.

Kankri 8:43 PM

"Arson is too small for that sort of thing. Can't be traced back if you are smart you could cover yourself and say you found nothing so .How bad is it the real thing that you don't want to tell her directly? What did you do?" > Pause. "Why would you need my advice." > The question comes out curious rather than aggressive, you take no time on pulling out a notepad and a pencil. But you don't write anything yet, you just have it on the table.

Trace 9:05 PM

> Shake your head. "Not the arson. That must've been Droog himself. After I, well, killed his baby girl." > You purse your lips for a moment to let that sink in. "I'm less worried about the cops, all things considered. There should be no evidence. But the crew won't need irrefutable evidence to draw their conclusions. I'm aware that may, well, cause issues. Not just for me. If the crew decide to go after Felt, the others should be warned, I suppose." > Sigh. "And the bosses too." > The risk was calculated and, well, you know.

Kankri 9:35 PM

> It takes you by surprise and you stare at him blank for a moment. "Trace..." > He killed Megido. Your brain starts thinking of all issues, litigations. Legal and not legal. And then he thinks of what Scratch is going to fucking do once he figured out. Snowman alone could rip him a new one. "Trace pardon my language but 'what the fuck'. This makes all of us targets. It doesn't matter who did it, everyone but Snowman has their head on the platter now." >  Deep breath. Okay, advice. "You want advice? Lie to Snowman and tell everyone individually. She is safe for obvious reasons. Or just do the correct thing and confess. But I don't expect to remain secret for long regardless of what happens. You are in borrowed time, Trace.  I think we all might be."

Trace 9:49 PM

"Honestly? My only regret is that I couldn't see Droog's face." > That and. Well. Nepeta, admittedly.. > You lean back and think for a bit. What the fuck sure is fitting. You've been aware that there may be grave consequences, you've just gladly ignored all of them. "If I confess, what do you think will await me?"

Kankri 10:02 PM

> You shake your head. "Whatever Crowbar or Snowman can't do isn't too bad. It's terrible but I wouldn't think it would be as bad as..." > Dammit. This is a legit question. One that even you is scared of. "How many strikes do you have?"

Trace 10:38 PM

"I mean, if they don't do anything, it's only because they leave the choice up to Scratch, right?" > You flash a wry smirk. Oh yeah. You're aware of the shit you're in. "Two, if I remember correctly."

Kankri 10:57 PM

"That would be the worst case scenario." > You look at Trace and you wish you could hold him. "The thing about broken bones or even a broken mind is that it can be healed, and with our little help even faster. It will never be the same but it would have healed to a certain degree. Pain can be forgotten, things can be mended. But what my father does... Those are the things that never heal. Much like the other cases it can't be forgotten, but when he does something he makes sure there isn't even an inch for recovery. No wiggle room for better. We've both have seen it and I don't want to see that on you." > You try to slowly take his hand because that is as good as a hug as he is going to get. "Well if you are going to tell the truth you have two options. Tell everyone under your own rules or tell the bosses first and let them dictate how it's going to be perceived, I figure you would want to talk to the others first in private. I don't know how they are going to react but it's better than an angry mob." > Pause "I'll help you as I can because right now nothing has happened. I'm not entirely certain what can be done yet. Professionally speaking I can try and speak with you when the news drop but I'm afraid how unpredictable the scenarios might get."

January 3, 2019

Trace 1:00 AM

> You nod quietly and direct your eyes to the ground. Your nerves got more frayed by the minute and you can feel tears welling up, but your pride doesn't allow them to roll. Hope for the best, expect the worst or so, right? It's kind of hard to not think about the worst though, considering Stitch and all that. > You don't feel like you deserve any comfort, all things considered, but honestly, the gesture felt nice. "This is quite a round to make."

Kankri 1:57 AM

> You cut contact short after. > You could use for lots of coffee right now. "What else is there to do? I don't think of you as someone who will hide away until everything comes to light by other people. Either you take it in your hands or it will find you anyway. If it becomes all too overwhelming and you need a place to calm down or suffer you can use my room since I'm localized in Cronus' now. " > You  already start thinking what legal action to follow just in case the law does come in knocking. You can pretend deniability until the last second but prepare the file anyway. You didn't hear of it, you had no idea, it was on the news but who could have done it. > You get up. "All I can say now professional and as a friend is, good luck.I'm a message away if you want me to act as a muffler for the bigger fishes."

Trace 10:53 AM

> Oh same. "Yeah, I'm.. aware this isn't something I can just sweep under a rug. And I certainly don't want the situation to get any worse than it needs to be.. for myself and others." > Sigh. "Thank you, Kankri. I appreciate it. Really." > Not getting up yet. This seems like a nice and quiet place to think about the next steps some more. You give Kankri another appreciating nod though.

Kankri 2:26 PM

"I'll try to get us ahead." > Smile  with a corner of your mouth "Don't die now. Trace. Your living privileges aren't to be taken away  yet." >Exit. You got a few calls to make.

Trace 2:27 PM

> Cackle drily. "Yet." > Then Kankri leaves and you're left with no one but yourself. Only the best company.

[carmineclock]

> A few days before, on Christmas~

Trace 12:47 AM

> Grabs Fin sometime during the holidays and pulls him aside. "So, when do we wanna do it?"

Fin 12:51 AM

" Do you have the rings ?"

Trace 1:02 AM

"Yep." > Pull two boxes out of the pocket and hand Fin one.

Fin 1:04 AM

"Then we can do this today why not?. I got a fine whiskey saved up for something special we can drink that or do you want champagne?." >Open the box and well...cry a little bit "Its really going to happen hu?"

Trace 1:10 AM

> Grin. You're nervous too, alright. "You're not gonna back out, are you?"

Fin 1:13 AM

"Of course not. Today of all days i'm feeling sort of brave" >smile at your lovely shark and hug him "How are you feeling though. You are the one who knows her the best. Are you ready?"

Trace 1:27 AM

> Take a deep breath and then smile. "Yes. I think. I'm sure. Do we want to do it when everyone is getting together or later when we're alone?"

Fin 1:33 AM

"Just because i get a bit of stage frights lets do this alone for now. We can get down to celebrate with the rest later"

Trace 1:36 AM

"Alright." > You stand there and shift a little, nervous and excited, then give Fin a kiss. "I can't wait."

Fin 1:45 AM

"Wait shouldn't we change into something better?"

Trace 1:47 AM

> ... "Better than this?" > I mean. You got a few other suits in your wardrobe.

Fin 1:50 AM

"You can always do better. Let's get changed. Besides wouldn't you want to wear something olive?"

Trace 1:50 AM

"I suppose. Will you do me the honor of dressing me?"

Fin 1:52 AM

"Of course, lets fix your suit first then i will get changed. Let's do this quick before somebody sees us"

Trace 1:53 AM

"Okay." > Time to get fancy.

Fin 1:55 AM

>And fancy it is, of course that Fin has bought already shirts and coats that would fit a olive aesthetic in case they decided to be all gay with Nepeta. >Fix up your boyfriend first. "So what are we going to say ?"

Trace 1:59 AM

> You're very feeling fancy. And maybe a bit uncomfortable because these aren't your usual clothes that you're so used to. Or it's just the nerves. "That we got a gift for her?"

Fin 2:00 AM

"Sounds good. Do you think you cand o the talking? your knees look weak tonight" >laugh

Trace 2:02 AM

"I can definitely do the talking. Just not the standing maybe."

> Grin and kiss him. "Managed to do it with you too."

Fin 2:07 AM

"and you almost die." >Finish tying his tie good one nice color pap pap. "Alright let me change and we can go...oof. I wish i was more prepared i feel like crying everytime, good thing i dont wear make up" >Fan yourself to stop from crying again

Trace 2:19 AM

> Cackles and kiss his cheek. "Save the tears for when we ask her, she'll love it."

Fin 2:25 AM

"I can't ! i feel like you've opened a shower on my eyes god damn" >undress at the speed of light this needs to happen soon or you will continue to cry until you are dry as a raisin "Are we missing anything? we got the rings, we look awesome. Where should we do this ?"

Trace 2:27 AM

"Her room, inbetween all the cats? Or, on the roof like our moment?""

Fin 2:28 AM

"I mean roof wins dramatic points. but the room has something cute about it. i will let you decide" >change your clothes meanwhile

Trace 2:29 AM

"Dammit, Fin."

Fin 2:32 AM

"Dammit indeed... I mean i would pick the roof because i love dramatically awesome things. But how can we call her there without  raising any suspicion of you know...something big happening?"

Trace 2:34 AM

"Does it really matter if we raise suspicion if the big moment is coming right after?"

Fin 2:36 AM

"I mean whats the point of doing it with a bang if the bang was suspected to happen ?. Maybe we can tell her to go first cuz we gonna have a drinking party, tell her its about celebrating maybe our ashen stuff? so its not only us 3?. Hmmmmmmmm or we could just go with that and hope shes tired enough not to care why. I'm sorry i tend to get all twisted about these things...i..i want it to be perfect"

Trace 2:37 AM

"Shhh." > Kiss him. "It'll be perfect, no matter if she expects something or not. I don't think she'll expect that to happen though."

Fin 2:40 AM

>fix your hair nervously "I'm really trying not to peek on the trails right now. Ok lets just go before i die"

Trace 2:43 AM

> Help him fix his hair a little. It's tempting to just ruffle and mess it up again, but the two of you are already nervous. "Your idea isn't bad though. We should invite Clover anyway."

Fin 2:58 AM

"Later , once we got her yes. I kinda want to have this moment for us only. Is that too selfish of me to ask ?"

Trace 3:06 AM

"Not at all. That's fine."

Fin 3:08 AM

>sigh ok everything is fine "shall we then?"

Trace 3:17 AM

"We shall." > Up you go. > On the way there you send Nepeta a message. 03: Hey, come join us on the roof 03: It's a wonderful night today.

Fin 3:18 AM

05: got some nice whiskey too lets party kitty

05: let that partitty out

>walk in circles while craddling the bottle

Trace 3:19 AM

03: Already on it

Fin 3:24 AM

>jump jump jump "Oh boy oh boy here we go its happening"

Trace 3:26 AM

> Cackle. "If you don't want her to suspect anything, you're doing a very bad job at it. Come sit down with me."

Fin 3:27 AM

"right right" >join your nerd

Nepeta 3:29 AM

:33 < theres titties and booze? im in!!! be right there! > Right now you are mainly suspecting something kinky. Its always something kinky with them, yes? > You are ready for that in either event and quickly make your way up to the roof. Kitties here! "Is this where the hot shark party is at?"

Fin 3:45 AM

(so 35nep?)

Trace 3:57 AM

"Hot sharks and a party. Can confirm!" > Wave her over to where the two of you are sitting. Actually, you move over a little so she can fit between you.

Fin 3:59 AM

>pat the space between the two of you and  wave nepeta welcome with the bottle in hand. "We saved you a nice spot !"

Nepeta 4:05 AM

> Fuck yeah, shark party! You flop down between them, giving each of them a little smooch on the cheek. "So! What are we celebrating, sharksomes?"

Trace 4:08 AM

"Oh you know. Christmas. Being together and all."

Fin 4:10 AM

"Also my amazing ass of course that's always worth celebrating"

Nepeta 4:39 AM

"Oh, so it's the ass kind of party" > Yeah, totally a kink thing. Definitely.

Trace 4:40 AM

"It's always an ass kind of party. But we got another gift for you first."

Fin 4:45 AM

>sweat sweat sweat "y-yes! a good gift!"

Nepeta 4:51 AM

"Oh? Is it... a dick purrhaps?" > Eyebrow waggle.

Trace 4:52 AM

"Better." > Grin and try not to look too nervously.(edited)

Fin 4:55 AM

>Look at trace like now? or do you want to say something first, come on telepathy WORK "Oh much much better"

Nepeta 5:04 AM

"Two dicks!" > The most sparkly anime eyes. Could it be? Trace dick night?

Trace 5:08 AM

> Crack up. "No. Yes. I mean. But no." > Take her hand. And stare at it nervously. "We were gonna ask. Would you- Do you want to marry us?" > You pull the little box out of your pocket, waiting for Fin to do the same.

Fin 5:11 AM

>when Trace moves to grab her hand you do the same and start shaking, you almost drop your box "We  feel like it's the logic step for us. We both love you to death and we want to be with you forever" >Oh no you are crying AGAIN "Would you take us as the trashiest most sexiest husbands in all Midnight City?"

Trace 5:12 AM

> The two of you show her a pair of matching rings, obviously meant to go together, and obviously meant for her.

December 30, 2018

Nepeta 2:25 AM

> Oh. You did NOT expect that, not at all. They are both already married after all, to each other! And you are a troll...do you even DO marriage? Well, it's not like you were raised on Alternia anyways, but still. Is it legal to marry two people? Does it matter if it's legal to marry two people, when nothing about your lives is anways? > There's a lot of thoughts running through your mind as you cover your mouth with your hands to muffle the shocked gasp. Are you crying? Oh god, you are totally crying. > You honestly never thought anyone would ask you that. Despite your obsession with romance, you never even dreamt of it. And yet... "Y-Yes! Oh my god, yes. Of course... You fuckers. I didn't expect... Fuck. Of course I want to." > You are crying, but you can't stop laughing either. Damn it, you really do love these assholes.

Trace 2:35 AM

> For a terrible second you have to wait out the shock and realization. Waiting for that answer, and then it finally comes.. Aw. Gosh, she's so adorable. You immediately pull her into a hug and kiss her very wet face with a wide toothy grin. "Your fuckers now."

Fin 4:31 AM

>you have been holding your breath for what I felt as an eternity until you hear that sweet yes and you finally let yourself take a deep breath "I swear you won't regret it . I will do my best to make you both so happy"

Nepeta 7:42 AM

> You reply to Trace's kiss with a very wet kiss of your own, but on the lips. That's what you do with your fiancé, right? Not like you really give a damn. "You were already my fuckers. Only difference is that now I'll be officially stuck with you." > Fin gets his very own wet smooch as well. "God damn it. I never thought...Shit. You guys are so gay."

Trace 2:38 AM

> The kiss just slightly catches you off-guard, but you can't say you mind. Not the first of these kisses you shared, and something tells you it won't be the last. "You already knew we are." > You laugh happily and release her to let her hug and kiss Fin too. This gives you the chance to realize your face got a little wet too and wipe away your own happy tears.

[carmineclock]

Ac-Cent-Tchu-Ate The Positive

Trace Last Saturday at 10:46 PM

> It takes you a bit to calm down from the book & more you received earlier, and even more to gather the confidence to seek out Clover. You manage to track down Clover's trail and follow it to his room. When you want to knock though, the courage leaves you and you hesitate.You don't really want to deal with any of this mess...

Clover Last Saturday at 10:58 PM

> You happen to be getting up at the precise moment he starts to debate knocking. You open the door and very nearly walk straight into him, then back up and blink in surprise.

Trace Last Saturday at 11:17 PM

> You were about to turn away and leave, but of course he had to come out in exactly that moment. The surprise immediately tosses out anything you prepared for this and just stare at him, at a total loss for words. "Uh. Hey."

Clover Last Saturday at 11:24 PM

"...'Ey Three. You need somethin'?"

Trace Last Saturday at 11:26 PM

"Uh... Just your attention." You shift a little awkwardly. "I wanted to say... thank you. For getting me my things back."

Clover Last Saturday at 11:29 PM

> You stare at him, plainly befuddled for a moment, open your mouth, close your mouth. > You very abruptly hug him, press your face into his front, and whine.

Trace Last Saturday at 11:33 PM

> Oh. You didn't expect that. > On second thought, this Clover. You should have been prepared for it. You try to shake off some of the tension in you and let him do that, one hand on his shoulder.

Clover Last Saturday at 11:38 PM

> You drag him inside your room and slam the door. "Fuck Trace I'm so fucking scared but I couldn't- I couldn't let him take everything, I know you're probably confused and I know I'm hard to follow but it-" > A hard sigh, quick gesturing. "It was the first thing I did after I left the library. I had a guess. I figured I'd take what I could and he wouldn't notice that not everything was there."

Trace Last Sunday at 12:14 AM

> Oh. Shit. You're trapped. Joke aside, this is quickly getting more intense than you had hoped for, but that is less surprising. But man, Clover going against the Doc's plans... "After the library.?" You quirk an eyebrow. That wasn't just to help you, you don't think. Sigh. "Thank you... Uh..."

Clover Last Sunday at 12:26 AM

"Look," > You reach up and cup his face, make him lean down for you. Sorry Trace, it's intense o'clock. "I've been sitting in my own fucked up feelings for the better part of a month, everything that I'm assigned to and that I'm good at has  been rearranged, Fin fucking hates me and I can't really blame him for it, I'm doing my damn best to help Nepeta's broken heart heal, five people have told me to take care of myself and I don't understand why, I'm actively daily going against the man who I'm dependant on trusting me, you betrayed me in a way I never imagined you would and I don't know if it's ever going to be fixed, and I would still die to protect you in an instant, and I don't know if you'd do that for me or if I even deserve anyone but god damn it Albert you're an idiot and so am I and I know what side I'm on as long as you'll fuckin' have me, okay?"

Trace Last Monday at 4:27 PM

Hnn, okay fine. This is what you're doing now. You look at him and listen to what he has to say, your heart growing heavier with every word. "Do you even still want me? You called me a traitor." In fact, he just did it again. "What side are you on?" You frown, an expression filled more with pain than anger. You're too tired and exhausted to fight, but you can't hide the bitterness in your words. "I would have died for anyone in this house. I would have killed for anyone, and I would have lied to Scratch. Not sure if I should anymore, since apparently I can't be trusted like that." Don't become a stranger, Doze said. Well meant advice, maybe a little too late though.

Clover Last Monday at 4:49 PM

"Yes," you answer plainly, your fingertips curling up against his skin. "and I did, because it fucking hurts. I can't tell you that it doesn't hurt like hell. I can't tell you that it isn't still making something in me scream to run." You pocket your hands. "I'm not just made up of whims and tricks and chance, though. This is me. Probably more me than I'd like to admit, frankly." An inhale and a sigh. "I don't know if you get it, but I don't- know what it's like to still trust somebody after something like this. I don't know if I'm supposed to. But for some reason I still want to try. It hurts and I still believe in it anyway. That's the side I'm on." Sincerity is definitely one of the top three most uncomfortable things you've ever done, you decide. You should be monitoring what you say and what you don't. You should be measuring, you should be careful. "Maybe it doesn't make sense, maybe it won't. That wouldn't be anything new, huh." A small, pained laugh. "I've never been more certain of anythin' else in my life, though."

Trace Last Monday at 7:46 PM

You stare at him, your expression getting even more pained after he pulls back. "You know... I needed you on my side then. If not for myself because god knows I don't deserve it then for Fin and Nepeta. I wanted to deal with that without pulling anyone else deeper into it than necessary." You're already close enough to the ground after he pulled you down, and even after his hands are gone, you let yourself sink deeper until you sit on the ground with a shaky "Fuck.." You're really tempted to just flee from this conversation, as unpleasant as it is. But you're aware that Clover didn't so far and the least you owe him is to see this through as well. "I'd give my life for any in here in a heartbeat. But it's not my life to give. Neither is yours. They're Scratch's, to use and misuse as he pleases. That's how things here work, right?" You run a hand over your face, trying to keep the tears at bay.

"I dunno if you should trust me. I don't care about the Felt, I don't care about Scratch, I don't care if this whole mansion is on fire in a year or so, because at least then it would be over. I care about Fin and I care about Nepeta. And Fin, we both know, is so deeply entrenched in his issues, he may never be able to get out of there, no matter how much any of us tries. Nepeta though.. I- I've never wanted her to join the Felt... Don't get me wrong, I'm glad to have her around, and I know why she did it. But this... this is no life I'd wish on anyone. Is it better than dying out on the street? I honestly couldn't tell you. But I can't stand to watch how she gets hurt and broken and bent again and again until the day she tired of this life as much as any of us." Your watery eyes meet his for a moment, then you look away to the side again. A headache is already pounding in your temple, making it really hard to filter any of your words. Not sure if any of what you're saying is making this situation any better or worse, but that hardly matters anymore. "And yeah, I care about you. Not sure if you're luckiest asshole of all of us since it seems to be so easy for you to adapt, or least fortunate, because you're having such a hard time realizing how much all of this bothers you too."

Clover Last Monday at 8:11 PM

You look down at him for a while, evaluating, re-evaluating, choking on your words before they manage to come out. Eventually you settle on something simple, pressing your fingertips together as you sit down across from him. "I'm sorry it took me this long to see." An exhale. "I thought if I just tried hard enough I could force this life to be something else. If I just paid enough attention. If I just played enough games of chess. If I just played along long enough to change the game."

Trace Last Monday at 9:02 PM

You watch him quietly, trying to keep your breath steady as you try to find the right words to continue. You can't really grasp how much of a breakthrough for Clover this may be at the moment, but. That's.. probably a lot for Clover, huh? "I'm sorry, I.. Fuck. All I wanted to was say thank you and now this." you say with shaky voice. "I don't want to just.. blindly follow Scratch, but I wanna do what's best for everyone. I want to do better, whatever that is gonna look like. And I know I can't do it alone.." A sigh. "None of us is gonna last if we're at each other's throats, right? Because who's gonna look out for us if not us?"

Clover Last Monday at 9:17 PM

There's a pause, then a snort, then a laugh. You push your hands into your face and shake your head. "God, I'm sorry, I'm overwhelming as hell. You poor sweetheart, I just started blathering on-"

Trace Last Monday at 9:31 PM

You just shake your head in response. "I needed out, didn't it? Iii mean I did the same.." You sigh. He must feel so lost, s looks like it, and you kinda want to offer a hug. Would that be too soon? "You know, actually, this has been one of the most relieving talks I had in a while." Even if it's just two guys rambling at each other. Sometimes that's what it takes, it seems.

Clover Last Monday at 9:36 PM

"....For real?" You blink a bit,  even daring to look the slightest bit hopeful. (What's wrong with you when faith in anything hurts?)

Trace Last Monday at 9:40 PM

"Yeah." You give him half a smirk. "I.. don't really know how to go from here. I'm sorry for the mess I made. Sorry for the position I put you in.."

Clover Last Monday at 9:46 PM

You tap your fingertips together, press your tongue into your cheek. "You gonna tell me an' Nep the next time you try to kill, like, Kanaya or something."

Trace Last Monday at 9:49 PM

You let out a dry laugh. "I don't see that happening anytime soon, but, sure, deal."

Clover Last Monday at 9:53 PM

You pause for a second, hum softly, and shift your balance to lean in close for a second. You press a tiny kiss to his throat- you're not entirely sure he gets the symbolism, but you draw back with a tiny 'hmf' little noise.

Trace Last Monday at 10:30 PM

You hold your breath when he gets closer. You get the meaning - at least the trust he means with it. You exhale carefully when he sits back and look at him, not sure if you want to break the silence just yet. "Hey, uh... I know I'm not really in a position to make demands, but.. I wondered if I could make ask you something.."

Clover Last Monday at 10:30 PM

"Go on?"

Trace Last Monday at 10:34 PM

"Uhm..." You look down a little sheepishly. "The photo of my little brother. I wondered if you got it. If.. I could have it."

Clover Last Monday at 10:36 PM

A blink, a tilt of your head. "I can look."

Trace Last Monday at 10:39 PM

You smile. "I'd appreciate it.."

Clover Last Monday at 10:41 PM

You flush, apparently surprised. You haven't seen that in a while, have you.

Trace Last Monday at 11:06 PM

"Uhm. Thank you for hearing me out.." You work on getting up. "Guess I should get going..." Best to leave on a good note, right?

Clover Last Monday at 11:07 PM

Nope. Gonna hug.

Trace Last Monday at 11:20 PM

Oh uh. Alright. You accept your punishment, flop back down and wrap your arms around him.

Clover Last Monday at 11:42 PM

"Trace," you mumble, squeezing tighter and pressing your face into his shirt. "'m scared. Don't leave."

Trace Last Monday at 11:53 PM

"Okay..." You exhale slowly, one hand petting his hair. "Whatever you need. I'm here."

January 29, 2019

Clover Last Tuesday at 12:08 AM

A soft whine. "Nepeta told me to stop expecting people to leave."

Trace Last Tuesday at 12:10 AM

"Did she? Sounds like good advice. She's good at that.."

Clover Last Tuesday at 12:11 AM

"I'm not the kind of person people stay with."

Trace Last Tuesday at 12:45 AM

You chuckle. "Sure you are. Look around you."

Clover Last Tuesday at 12:46 AM

"....you think?"

Trace Last Tuesday at 1:03 AM

Pet him more. "Yeah, like you got what, two loyal boyfriends." Unfortunately so. "And many more friends that'll stick with you and be there for you." Sigh. "Hell, even me. And even so, we... don't exactly have the luxury of hoping for a long life, so focus on the days they're staying, not the day you expect them to leave."

Clover Last Tuesday at 1:30 AM

"I just- it doesn't seem real. Someday or somehow I'm gonna fuck up and I'm not gonna have you again." A quiet sigh. "Scratch told me Fin was testing me and I probably failed it."

Trace Last Tuesday at 9:14 AM

"Alright but.. I fucked up big-time and here you are, clinging to me. That's something you should worry about when that happens." Pet his hair. "I mean.. probably. Not consciously, but that's what he does all the time, test how far he can go." Sigh. "He's mad and thinks you hate him. If you want to prove him otherwise, I'm sure you can. Just things like that take time.  And if you don't want to, you know, I get it. He's a handful. Just try not to poke him further. I know he's not making it easy, but you got the smarter brains."

Clover Last Tuesday at 4:44 PM

"Yeah, but you're....Trace. You're cool and smart and funny and basically impossible to leave behind...." You relax slowly. "'m just useful. Good for understandin' certain things and good for my luck but sometimes nobody needs luck to get around. (I ain't pokin' Fin hardly at all he's the one tryin' his best to get me to snap. Which I won't, not again.)"

Trace Today at 6:06 PM

You give a dry laugh. "Some might argue on the smart. Hell, I'm pretty sure the only reason Scratch didn't get rid of me for being a liability yet is because he's too caught up in some sunk-cost-fallicy. But see, people adore you and love you. You easily get along with anyone. You're clever, charming, usually reasonable and damn headstrong. And most of all, you're a person. One of us. Family and all, right?"

Clover Today at 6:26 PM

You squish him tight for a moment and breathe out. "Family. Real family."

Trace Today at 11:46 PM

Just a bit ago you didn't even believe in it yourself anymore.. "Yeah. Weird, isn't it?"

Clover Today at 11:47 PM

"Extremely."

Trace Today at 11:48 PM

> And then they cuddled for a while

[carmineclock]

🎩 🐇 (03/Dave/MK)Last Wednesday at 4:58 PM

> With Nepeta right behind you, you've been trailing Fin for a while, and you're slowly catching up to him. You're kind!!! of mad!!! that he just keeps running away. But it's fine, soon you'll be back together and he'll regret that he didn't stay with you right away.

The Hamst⭐r (05/JH/CD)Last Wednesday at 5:13 PM

> you are crawling on the Sand since you are too tired to continue running. >If only you could find a visual reference for Stitch to find you.

Coco (Nep/Ara/Sock)Last Wednesday at 7:45 PM

> Trace might feel a little mad but you are actually quite content twirling through the air and testing your newfound ability to fly. Such fun! Fin is going to love this for sure! > Trace is far better equipped for tracking down dear sweet Fin, that with the trails and all but you still keep your sharp little eyes scanning for him until you finally spot a spot of green in the distance and yell for your lovely husband. "Trace! Trace look! Look. look, look! There he is, snorting up sand that naughty, naughty boy!"

The Hamst⭐r (05/JH/CD)Last Wednesday at 7:53 PM

(do not snort sand)

🎩 🐇 (03/Dave/MK)Last Wednesday at 10:51 PM

"Awww he looks so tireeed... Just what shall we dooo~?* You slow down your floating as you close up to him. "It's probably because he got withdrawal from his lovers, riiight?"

Coco (Nep/Ara/Sock)Last Wednesday at 10:53 PM

Loud gasp! "Oh no!! You are right! Purr purr Fin...He needs KISSES!"

The Hamst⭐r (05/JH/CD)Last Wednesday at 10:57 PM

> Turn around and scream when you see Nepeta and Trace flying above you. "Oh God...please don't do this just let me get eaten by a worm. I can't do this again !!"

🎩 🐇 (03/Dave/MK)Last Wednesday at 11:04 PM

Float down towards him. "But whyyy Fin... It was you who said it's not worth running frooom..." You whine. "Don't you want to be with us~? Stay with us~?"

The Hamst⭐r (05/JH/CD)Last Wednesday at 11:04 PM

" I say many things everyday Trace, I don't mean many of them"

Coco (Nep/Ara/Sock)Last Wednesday at 11:08 PM

You float down with Trace, resting your hands on his shoulder as you float behind him. "Don't you want to kiss us Fin? We missed you SOOO much!"

The Hamst⭐r (05/JH/CD)Last Wednesday at 11:16 PM

"No, no i don't want you ! i missy ou both but i dont want to !"

Coco (Nep/Ara/Sock)Last Wednesday at 11:19 PM

You frown. "Why don't you love us anymore Fin? Aren't we beefy enough? Would you rather kiss the police guys?"

The Hamst⭐r (05/JH/CD)Last Wednesday at 11:25 PM

"W-what what are you talking about "  > Sweat. You can't even run !

Coco (Nep/Ara/Sock)Last Wednesday at 11:26 PM

"We know you fancy half of the police force over us...That hurts Fin. Would you kiss the pickle man?"

The Hamst⭐r (05/JH/CD)Last Wednesday at 11:31 PM

"This is not the time to talk about the inspector"

🎩 🐇 (03/Dave/MK)Last Wednesday at 11:45 PM

"Ohhh but when it's not the inspector, it's someone else you're firting wiiith... Was you loving us just a thing you didn't mean too???" You hardly give him a chance to reply. You float over him and drop yourself right on him. "But we love youuu... And you're not gonna leave uuus. I- i- i can't be without you...." You drag your tongue over his cheek real slow. "Mmm I could just eat you up."

The Hamst⭐r (05/JH/CD)Last Wednesday at 11:47 PM

" We already talked about this Trace, don't bring it up now"  > And now you really REALLY don't have a chance to escape. > Fight ? > FIGHT > Make a very bad and tired attempt to push Trace

🎩 🐇 (03/Dave/MK)Yesterday at 12:30 AM

The shove is successful, but partially only because you pull back, and with offended gasp you look at Nepeta.

Coco (Nep/Ara/Sock)Yesterday at 12:36 AM

You also gasp, like Fin actually punched Trace.  You quickly float over to Trace, kissing all over his face. Poor poor Trace! "How could you hurt your own husband like this Fin!" You actually growl, showing of your nice sharp teeth.

The Hamst⭐r (05/JH/CD)Yesterday at 12:38 AM

" I didn't hurt him ! please just let me go i beg you !" >No bueno, kitty teeth no bueno !

🎩 🐇 (03/Dave/MK)Yesterday at 8:01 AM

"You hurt my heaaart..." you whimper and wipe a fake tear away. But listen. LISTEN. The pain is real.

The Hamst⭐r (05/JH/CD)Yesterday at 1:25 PM

"Such a drama queen Trace. Those tears don't work with me"

🎩 🐇 (03/Dave/MK)Yesterday at 6:44 PM

There may be an actual tear now, but your expression is more of a pout. "Maybe not..." you say, a good bit deeper than before now. "But this sure will." You pull up to him again and violently press your mouth on his with no regard for your teeth or his lips. Your long and sour tongue shoves itself deep inside while you hold him close. He's not getting away from you again.

The Hamst⭐r (05/JH/CD)Yesterday at 7:05 PM

> There was a little bit of a fight at first but 1) it's Trace kissing you 2) did you even think you had a choice ? and 3) the kiss is actually good when you stop fighting the inevitable. Here we go. It's gummy shark time