#neither of us are bakers lol

[pien-art]

it may not look the best but look at the minecraft cake my sister and i made for my birthday!!! (with brownie crust, buttercream with strawberry filling, and a layer of cinnamonrolls inside) :D

[bluessmutifyplaylist]

Listening to Oxytocin by Billie Eilish imagining a 'FWB who are secretly in love with each other but just too kinky and not emotionally honest enough to do anything about it' situation with Rook Hunt and Cater Diamond (separately).

Or like, making a thirty trap to the song on a TWST version of TikTok just for the cast to reply it over and over again until they rub their skin raw.

(once again I am UNGODLY HORNY LOL!!! So enjoy my sin bestie)

Not going to lie, this was the first time I ever listened to Oxytocin by Billie Eilish. Not my favorite, but not bad.

Warnings: 18+, Gender-neutral! Reader, no specific ‘hole’ is mentioned (could be anal, could be vaginal), FWB relationship wth Rook and Cater (separately), bondage (Cater), not much smut in Rook’s (sorry)

Cater Diamond

It all started when you were both assigned a project in Professor Crewel’s class. The tension was definitely there, and since you were both in the privacy of Ramshackle, and Grim was sleeping in a different room, you both gave into your desires.

Neither one of you realized just how much physical chemistry you had with each other before that night, and since then, you have used approximately 47 boxes of condoms and counting. It was great stress relief for both of you, and it was a no-strings-attached agreement… unfortunately, it became quite clear that there were at least a few strings there.

The thing is… neither of you knew how to bring it up. For some reason, you both thought that it might not be the best time to talk about deep feelings when he was balls-deep in your throat, gently thrusting into your mouth and moaning as he felt you gag on his cock.

He has ranted about it to Trey, much to the baker’s dismay. He did not want to know about what you both did in your own time. However, he had no idea how to tell you that he loved you. That he wanted you for more than just your body. That he wanted to cuddle after having sex with you rather than get dressed and do the messy walk of shame back to Heartslabyul.

One day, however, you both were trying something out in bed… bondage. His hands were tied to the headboard as you rode him into oblivion. His fucked out face was one that you had many pictures of… but you never posted them. They were just for you.

Anyway, he was babbling complete nonsense, his dick being gripped tightly by your warmth as you ground your hips down. “I love you…” He muttered softly in-between whimpers, “Seven, I fucking love you… fuck… keep going, baby…”

Your eyes widen, and you immediately stop your ministrations. “What did you say, Cater?” His own eyes widen in response as he realized what he said, and he felt his heart thud harshly against his chest. “Uhh… Nothing! I said nothing! Who said anything about ‘love’? That’s crazy talk! You know me: Cray-cray Cay-Cay!”

However, you quickly shut him up by kissing his lips passionately, breaking one of the few rules the both of you set. It didn’t seem like Cater had any issue with this rule-breaking either, especially since he reciprocated and moaned against your lips as you continued riding him.

“I love you, too,” You whispered against his lips, “Shit!... I love you, Cater…”

Soon, he spilled his load into the condom, and you pulled yourself off of him and collapsed beside him, when he got up to dispose of the rubber. Then, he giggled excitedly as he climbed into bed next to you.

For now, this would remain private between the two of you, as well as Trey because Cater needs to tell someone, but neither of you could be happier with how your relationship shifted.

Rook Hunt

Your… relationship… with the French hunter started in Potionology. Your friends fucked up a potion and it spilled on you. With your luck, it turned out to be an aphrodisiac, and so Professor Crewel sent you back to Ramshackle to sleep it off.

Rook noticed that you weren’t running your usual errands, so he asked Ace, Deuce, and Grim for your whereabouts. When they explained to him what happened, his eyes widened in surprise and he immediately rushed to Ramshackle to help you out. Obviously, neither of you knew about the other’s feelings, but you were more than happy to have his help.

That day was when you realized that 1) he was wonderful in bed and 2) he had a stupidly large dick that hit everything it needed to. Let’s not even mention how good his hands are.

Anyway, even when the aphrodisiac wore off, you both still found reasons to find privacy together. You wanted to get dicked down, and Rook was more than happy to oblige as he loved you and your body. The other people on campus were more than happy about this arrangement too, since it meant that Rook didn’t have time to stalk them.

However, this friends-with-benefits relationship wasn’t like anything else. Rook, in every sense of the term, ‘made love’ to you. He was gentle and attentive, putting your pleasure above all else. He wanted to be your toy that would bring you pleasure. It made him feel good knowing that he made you feel good.

One day, after a rather intimate session together, you were both laying in your bed as you discussed things you would like to try with him. When you brought up a possible threesome in the future, he tensed up.

“Non, ma chérie. I do not much like the idea of sharing you with anyone else,” He admitted, looking into your eyes.

His words made your heart flutter, and the butterflies got worse as he leaned in to kiss you. However, you made no move to back away, and reciprocated it instead.

When you both pulled away, you both smiled happily at each other before settling back under the covers to get some rest.

[lucysarah-c]

Mounting Spring Ch. 6

Summary: Paradis has opened its doors to the world, and the Rumbling has not yet occurred. The military board insists, "We need more Ackermans!" to avoid ruining Mikasa's life. Levi agrees. Arranged marriage, explicit consent, Omegaverse. Alpha! Levi x Omega! Y/N. Mentions of underage marriage but it doesn't happen, the reader is over 21. Age gap but they are both adults. (I would say enemys to lover but they don't even know eachother to be enemys lol.)

Author note: I've had this idea for so long… Omegaverse is my guilty pleasure, and I decided to treat myself with it.

From the creator of "Not in season?" I bring to you "Mounting Spring" lmao haha sorry it's just that my first omegaverse was rather a success… so I decided to do another.

Masterlist to the previous parts!

Ao3 link in case you prefer to read there! Chapter dedicated to @marianafairybread because she always wants to be first in the chapter's comment section... and she did it! haha

Reaching out, he grabbed the first items he found, dropping them into his basket with little thought. ‘I should’ve gone to Trost’, he mused.

The small rural town near the Scout facility didn’t offer much in terms of variety. Most locals lived self-sufficiently, farming or raising livestock. Trost, on the other hand, was farther away, and with his limited free time, it wasn’t an option this week. The act of grocery shopping felt like a distant memory, more of an abstract concept than a routine he’d ever mastered.

In the underground, homes were more like squatter's shelters��claimed rather than owned. Kitchens were either non-existent or barely functional, forcing most people to rely on taverns for meals. He’d done the same. If he wanted more than bread and cheese, he’d head out for something warm. He recalled the occasional market day when he’d taken Isabel to pick out “whatever she wanted,” keeping his hood up to avoid attention.

The image flashed briefly—Isabel, beaming, holding up a packet of cookies, seeking his approval. The memory flickered and faded as he reached for some pastries on display at the bakery. They weren’t much, but they were more than plain crackers.

He picked items at random, a mixture of reluctance and uncertainty guiding his choices. This should do, he thought, noticing the baker’s daughter lugging a heavy tray of milk buns to the counter. Her flour-streaked apron and flushed cheeks gave her the look of someone used to hard work.

Levi cleared his throat.

“Oh, are you done, Captain?” the girl asked, dusted her hands off before packing his selections into paper bags. She couldn’t have been older than his newly proclaimed wife.

“Can I get a dozen of those, too?” He pointed at the fresh white bread.

She blinked, surprised but obliging. “Of course.” As she moved to fulfil his request, she added, “I dare say, Captain, it’s surprising to see you here like this. You hardly ever shop in town.”

Levi hummed noncommittally, neither confirming nor denying. He glanced over his shoulder at his squad, who were busy loading supplies onto the cart, too preoccupied to notice him.

“Is someone sick at HQ? The weather’s been wild lately,” the girl continued, clearly eager for conversation. She might have assumed someone had caught the flu, forcing him into town for soft bread to tide them over until rations were delivered.

“No,” Levi replied curtly, “But yeah, it’s been raining a lot.”

“Do you sell dairy?” he asked, shifting topics as he mentally ticked off his list.

The girl shook her head. “No, that’s Gilbert. He’s around—want me to call him?”

Before Levi could answer, she turned to the back window and shouted, “Gilbert!” Her voice was startlingly loud and commanding, a sharp contrast to her polite demeanour moments earlier. She returned with a cheery smile. “He’ll be here in a minute.”

Levi barely had time to process before, a young man with a dishevelled look and a peaky cap leaned into the window, clearly irritated.

“What now, May?” he grumbled.

‘They’re close’, Levi noted. ‘Well, this town’s so damn small, everyone is.’

Gilbert’s attitude flipped the moment he spotted Levi. “Captain,” he greeted, pulling off his cap and nodding respectfully.

“He’s asking about dairy,” May informed him, returning to her chores.

“Oh, is someone sick?” Gilbert asked, shifting his attention to Levi.

“No, just need milk, cheese, maybe butter. I can’t keep coming down here every time I run out. Do you deliver to the countryside?”

“Of course.” Gilbert nodded. “Leave the empties near the stables. I’ll replace them when I see them.”

“That’ll do,” Levi agreed, pulling out his wallet. He suspected other Scouts’ Squad Leaders had lived a little less frugally than he did. ‘Like Eyebrows,’ he thought grimly. But at that time, most of them where gone.

“I’m just surprised you’re shopping here now,” May chimed in, a sly smile on her face. “Is everything alright at HQ?”

“Yes.”

“I thought the Scouts had a deal with the Reeves Company,” Gilbert added, leaning on the window frame.

Levi hesitated. Socializing wasn’t his strength, but ripping the bandage off now seemed the easiest option. “It’s for my wife,” he said plainly.

Silence fell, heavy and awkward. Levi pressed his lips together; it simply didn’t feel real to pronounce those words. Saying them out loud confused him, it just made no sense for him but it was real. Almost like a weird illusion.  The girl’s fake innocence vanished, replaced by a look of irritation and disappointment. Gilbert, on the other hand, stifled a laugh poorly by noticing her face.

“Congratulations,” the girl muttered begrudgingly.

“Congratulations, Captain,” Gilbert said, grinning. “Actually, my father mentioned something about it, but I didn’t believe him.”

“Thanks,” Levi replied curtly, eager to leave.

“Where’s she staying? Maybe she’d like to join us, the girls and I, for tea,” May asked, her tone a forced blend of sweetness and curiosity.

‘For fucks sake, just drop it,’ Levi decided to ignore it as the young man set four glass bottles of milk and some extras. Levi paid, though May tried to refuse. “It’s on the house, Captain,” she insisted.

“Come on, I grabbed a lot,” he countered.

“And my mother would be thrilled knowing Humanity’s Strongest Soldier’s wife is eating her recipes,” she insisted.

Reluctantly, Levi accepted, gathering the bags with practiced efficiency. She resumed her prying. “Let us know where she’s staying! We’ll invite her out!”

“She’s at HQ for now.”

May’s surprise was evident. “I didn’t know civilians could live at HQ.”

“Let them be,” Gilbert teased, nudging her arm. “Newlyweds can’t stand being apart, especially this time of year.” His comment made her giggle and blush.

—

“I paid for those groceries with my dignity,”

“I mean… they’re kind of right; don’t you think? What’s a civilian doing at military headquarters?” The brunette nudged the captain, attempting to keep the conversation alive. “You can’t just keep her locked up in your quarters forever, you know.”

Levi pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing. “I know. But where the hell am I supposed to put her? In the stables?”

Hange’s enthusiasm didn’t waver, despite Levi’s clear frustration. “Oh, we could go house-hunting! I’ve always wanted to do that!” They grinned, as if this were an adventure. “Owning a house is one of my wildest dreams! Right up there with seeing the outside world. I can’t believe I got to see the ocean before I could even afford a house—but hey, that’s the economy for you.” Hange chuckled, undeterred.

“I’ll have to have a word with that asshole Zackly. I can’t keep her living off charity,” Levi muttered. His long list of responsibilities felt like tackling a Hydra—cut off one head, and two more grew in its place.

“So?... Did she like them? Or is she still sticking to that hunger strike?” Hange leaned back; their cheeks already flushed from the alcohol. They’d shifted from standing close to the captain to sprawling in their own chair, drink in hand.

“There was never a hunger strike. She just hates our food,” Levi replied dryly. “Not that I blame her. But she’d better start getting used to it. I’m not hiring her a private chef, and she can’t live off cookies and cheese forever.”

The memory of earlier that day surfaced unbidden.

“You’re back!” she said, startled, stepping out of the room quickly to meet him.

“I brought you something to eat.” Levi set the bags down on the table. Unlike her usual cautious approach with the trays he brought, she dove right into inspecting the bags, curiosity lighting up her face.

She peeked into each bag, her expression softening with genuine delight.

Levi caught himself staring—maybe for the first time since they met, he noticed something resembling happiness on her face.

“Oh!” she squealed, pulling out the buns and bringing one to her nose. She inhaled deeply, savouring the sweet scent before tearing a piece off and taking a generous bite.

“Try not to fill up before dinner,” he warned gruffly. He remembered the previous night’s “dinner,” which had mostly involved her picking through the stew like it was poison.

But her eyes, bright and grateful, met his. She made an effort to swallow quickly, breaking the eye contact momentarily, then said softly, “Thank you.”

“Oww. Look at you, all doting. Your little alpha brain was probably glowing,” Hange teased with a wide grin.

Levi frowned. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Come on, Levi. Alphas instinctively provide for their mates. Bringing her food is, like, prime courting behaviour—”

“Spare me the biology lesson,” Levi cut them off sharply. “I’ve had enough of your nonsense for one day.”

He reached for his glass, hoping it would hide the faint heat creeping up his neck. He’d dreamed of her the previous night. Not just of her, but of marking her—claiming her in a way he hadn’t allowed himself to think about while awake.

“At least her scent’s calming down,” he muttered, more to himself than to Hange. “Maybe now I can actually think straight.”

The last remaining veteran hummed faintly, their approval distant as they leaned back in their swinging chair, eyes closed. Sleep-deprivation from endless responsibilities and the alcohol in their system created a perfect cocktail for them to drift into dreamland almost instantly.

Levi, however, let his head hang over the back of his seat, eyes shut. He sighed heavily. “The one thing I’m grateful for... is that those two are Betas. If they weren’t, I’d never hear the end of it.”

He was referring to the fact that the small-town folk—most of whom were Betas—couldn’t recognize or differentiate between the scent of a bonded or unbonded Alpha.

—

“Dear Nana,

How is everyone? How is Clauws doing?”

She carefully penned the letter, seated at a desk that wasn’t hers. The pen’s tip dipped into ink once more before gliding across the paper. Though countless questions buzzed in her mind, very few could actually be written down. Her grandmother had always been strict, but when everything fell apart, she was the first to offer support—a comforting presence her own mother hadn’t provided. Her mother, too preoccupied tending to the returned “head of the house,” had barely noticed her struggles.

“I’m sorry I ruined your dress, Nana,”

She paused, remembering the day her grandmother had handed her the cherished wedding gown. It was simpler in design, a reflection of the fashion back then. “A piece of me will be with you that day,” her grandmother had said.

The letter rambled in places, yet felt hollow in others. “Things are improving slowly. My belongings arrived two days ago, which was a clear improvement,” she wrote.

She smiled at the memory. How ridiculously happy she’d been to finally take a proper shower using her own soaps, hair products, skincare, and body lotions. At last, she could wear a dress that was hers.

Levi’s reaction to the mountain of boxes had been understated—a brief glance, a slight narrowing of his eyes—but he’d said nothing. His indifference almost tempted her to write: “Nana, is it normal for a husband to not be interested in you?” But she stopped herself.

Her initial theory had been that her appearance was to blame. The limited wardrobe and lack of self-care products had left her feeling dull. But after her belongings arrived, she took her time in the shower that night, ensuring every inch of her smelled pleasant.

—

Levi returned to his chambers after a long day, utterly drained. He kicked off his boots, but still bent down to align them perfectly by the wall. Scratching the back of his head, his hand moved instinctively to push the bathroom door open—only to stop short when he noticed the light was on.

Her startled squeak from inside made him freeze. The door slammed shut in his face.

“Sorry,” he muttered, stepping back to avoid getting hit. He’d completely forgotten she was there. Despite the subtle changes around his chambers—the rearranged furniture, the extra storage for her belongings—it hadn’t sunk in.

Levi waited a few moments, exhaustion weighing on him. Each blink grew slower, heavier. Finally, he sighed. “Is this going to take long? I need the bathroom,” he asked, voice calm but firm.

“No.”

He frowned, rolling his eyes as if following an invisible clock. “Is that a ‘No, I’m done,’ or a ‘No, I need more time’?”

“What does that even mean?” she called back, her muffled voice sounding farther away than it actually was.

Levi shifted his weight impatiently, hands on his hips. “It means your ‘just a minute’ is turning into an eternity.”

He opened the door, the abrupt motion startled Hange, who was working at the desk nearby. Levi muttered irritably under his breath, brushing past them. “Feel free to make yourself at home,” Hange quipped sarcastically, as if they didn’t burst into Levi’s chambers uninvited all the time.

“I need to use your bathroom,” Levi snapped. But after a quick glance inside, he wrinkled his nose, muttered, “Never mind, the cadet’s public ones are cleaner,” and left.

—

When he returned to his chambers later, exhaustion pulling at every step, she was seated there. Her freshly washed hair glowed with a soft sheen, and the dress she wore seemed to accentuate her figure in all the right ways. The change in her mood was palpable—she looked lighter, almost happy.

“You’re back earlier,” she said softly, breaking the silence. Perhaps the isolation was getting to her. She had no one to talk to but herself, and even her inner monologues were starting to feel unhinged.

“Yeah.” Levi didn’t elaborate, setting down a stack of papers he needed to finish. He poured himself a cup of tea and sat at his desk, ready to get to work.

But her gaze was intense, her attention unwavering. He raised his eyes slowly from the papers, catching her shy smile. She looked... almost embarrassed.

“Yes?” he asked, his voice betraying no emotion.

She tilted her head slightly, her eyes bright with unspoken thoughts. Levi frowned inwardly. ‘She wants something’. Too tired for subtle games, he asked bluntly, “What do you need?”

“Oh, um… how was your day?” she asked, the long pause making her question feel like an afterthought.

“Busy.” He blinked slowly, waiting for her to get to the point. “What do you need?”

For Levi, this was attentiveness—cutting to the chase and solving her problems directly. But to her, it felt cold. Distant.

Pressing her lips together, she tried to maintain her optimism. “Don’t you notice something different?” she asked, her voice carrying the same tentative excitement as a child presenting a crayon drawing, they’ve poured their heart into.

Levi barely looked up from his work. Exhaustion weighed heavily on him after nonstop duties. “Your stuff arrived.”

She chuckled, rolling her eyes. “Well, yes. You brought it.” She leaned forward slightly. “Something else.”

Levi, disinterested, returned to his papers. “My bathroom is crammed with packages of things that’ll be impossible to keep tidy. That it?”

Her smile faltered, the enthusiasm in her eyes dimming. “No,” she muttered.

The silence stretched between them, broken only by the scratch of his pen on paper. Her drop in mood didn’t register with him immediately; his focus remained fixed on his work.

“Then I don’t know. I give up,” Levi finally said, his tone casual as though indulging in a child’s guessing game. “Communication is key, isn’t it?” He kept the conversation going, albeit with his usual bluntness. “I’ll be direct. I leave this place around six in the morning and come back around nine at night. When I get here, I just want to use the bathroom without waiting an hour. The rest of the day, it’s all yours.”

In his mind, he was simply setting boundaries—clarity prevented misunderstandings. “Settled accounts keep old friends,” as the saying went. He didn’t want resentment to build and cause an issue later.

“Sure,” she replied, her voice lacking the earlier spark.

Minutes passed in silence. Only then did Levi notice the shift in her mood. He tapped his pen against the desk, trying to shake off the sense of something being off. Straightening in his chair, he forced himself into a form of socialization that didn’t come naturally.

“How... was your day?” he asked, his tone awkward but sincere.

She gave him a faint, understanding smile. “It was good.”

“Good to hear,” he said, returning to his papers.

She replayed the events of the previous night in her mind, conflicted.

‘He called off my wedding and chose me with such determination... didn’t back out of the new arrangement when I lost my heat.’

She pieced together the events as though unraveling a mystery, searching for a missing clue.

‘He not only didn’t want to claim me… he’s simply not interested in me.’

A deep sigh escaped her as she ran a hand over her face. The confinement of the past few days had left her dizzy and drained.

‘Am I doing something wrong? Failing as a wife somehow?’

The thought of asking, ‘Captain, have we met before?’ lingered on the edge of her mind. How could a man so adamant about marrying her—a man who used his newfound authority after the uprising to demand her as his wife—not even know her?

‘We must have met before,’ she rationalized. ‘Perhaps at a ball? Maybe he knows my father?’

Yet, even as her thoughts spun, she arrived at a reluctant conclusion:

‘I don’t desire him to claim me, but at least he could be interested in me.’

If she could wish for one wedding gift, it would be for him to talk to her—about anything. She wanted to know if this marriage was punishment for her family, a humiliation disguised as duty, or if he was simply as severe and unyielding as he appeared.

She stood a few steps behind him, clutching the letter she had written earlier. Her eyes lingered on the curve of his bent head as he worked. When should she ask? Would it annoy him? What if he refused?

‘What if he doesn’t want me to contact my family anymore? Should I lie and say it’s for a friend?’

“Ehm,” she began hesitantly, catching his attention.

Levi glanced at her, waiting.

“I was wondering if you could send a letter for me?”

She braced for his reaction, expecting irritation or even outright anger. But Levi merely extended his hand.

“Sure,” he said simply.

Her initial shock passed quickly, and she moved closer, handing him the envelope. “Is... this alright?” she asked cautiously, testing the waters.

“Did you write the address correctly?”

“I think so.”

“Then I don’t see why not.”

They shared the same language, but their meanings never aligned. She questioned the morality of staying in contact with her past, while his thoughts drifted to streets and doorways, turning her words into something as practical as addresses.

Levi flipped the envelope over, his sharp eyes catching the empty space where the sender’s details should have been. Picking up his pen, he filled in the information himself, then reached for one of the stamps he used for his own correspondence. After affixing it to the envelope, he placed it atop the pile of outgoing letters.

“Done. With that stamp, it’ll be sent as a high priority.”

She wondered if this was some sort of test. “Alright, thank you,” she replied hesitantly, retreating slowly back to the room. Her cautious movement caught his attention.

‘Try talking to her, be sociable,’ Hange had urged him during lunch. ‘At least try to befriend her. You’re the only person she knows.’

The memory of that conversation made Levi press his lips together and exhale softly, though not loud enough to draw attention. His eyes scanned his desk as if it might somehow offer the social skills he so clearly lacked.

“You don’t have to leave. We can share the room.”

Those words stopped her in her tracks. After countless nights of waiting for his return and his insistence that he had too much work to spare time for her, she had assumed he didn’t want her there. Slowly, she walked back to the desk, hesitating before taking one of the armchairs in front of him.

Her mind was a battlefield of questions, but the voices of those who once told her that the success of a marriage depended on a woman’s quietness forced her to remain silent.

Levi, on the other hand, wished she would ramble about anything—or everything. ‘I’m not in a position to get picky’, he thought. It wasn’t that he particularly enjoyed talkative people— ‘no one likes a damn yapper’, he mused with a wry press of his lips—but he wished she didn’t seem so…scared.

Respect and fear had followed him like shadows since his underground days, and he had never found silence uncomfortable. But something about the absence of connection in their shared space unsettled him. This was his sanctuary: the room where veterans had snuck in to celebrate his birthday against his will; the room where he, Mike, and Hange had gotten high because the mess in their rooms drove him mad; the place Erwin would stumble into drunk to rant about aging before forgetting the entire conversation the next morning.

Now, she slept in his bed—a bed he rarely used unless he got any unexpected visit for a night or two. She had gone through his drawers, where condoms, hardly touched lube, and those ridiculous chocolates Hange had once gifted him as a joke lay tucked away. She had invaded his space, his place, and he didn’t even know if she had some embarrassing middle name.

“You came back earlier today,” she muttered, breaking the silence.

He blinked. Had he? Maybe he had been trying to finish work earlier, hoping to get back before she fell asleep. “Did you forget your keys?” she asked.

Her question made him freeze, his sharp eyes narrowing. She instantly regretted asking.

‘Someone tried to break in’, Levi’s mind leaped to the worst conclusion.

“What happened?” he asked, his tone calm but commanding.

“Nothing. It was a quiet day,” she lied, her eyes darting away like a guilty dog avoiding its owner.

“Don’t lie to me,” Levi said firmly, though without aggression.

“Nothing. The front door’s knob was pushed down and tugged a couple of times, but that was it. The door was locked anyway,” she admitted, her voice hesitant, “I thought maybe you’d forgotten your keys.”

She tried to shrug it off, though her footing felt shaky. “It really was nothing,” she added quickly, her excuses flimsy and arriving too fast to be convincing. “It’s not that deep.”

‘I want to go out… I need to leave this place, or I’ll go nuts,’ she thought, the words she withheld tightening around her like chains. It felt as though she’d just added three more locks to the door with every word she spoke.

“I didn’t mean to hide it from you,” she murmured, her voice softening.

‘Well… maybe a little,’ she admitted silently, guilt prickling at the edges of her thoughts.

Levi sighed heavily, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and index finger. His patience was stretched, but his tone was steady.

“Stop it. I’m not angry at you.”

“Well…you look like it,” she muttered, barely audible.

Levi caught her words. “That’s just the face I was born with,” he deadpanned, standing to prepare tea. “If I were actually mad, you’d know.”

Her shoulders relaxed slightly, though she still seemed wary. When he asked, “How much milk?” she snapped out of her thoughts.

“Oh, half and half, please,” she replied.

He carried on, adding two sugar cubes and placing her cup next to her before returning to his seat. One leg over the other.

“Thanks,” she murmured into her tea, both hands clasped around the warm cup.

As the room fell silent again, Levi’s gaze landed on a stray sketch she’d left on his desk—a portrait of a cat. He held it up. “You’re an artist, huh?” “You’re an artist, huh?” he asked suddenly.

“Uh?” She blinked, then realized what he meant. “Oh. I won’t leave them around again. Sorry.”

“That’s not what I meant,” he said, a trace of exasperation in his tone. “You’re not bad at it.”

A soft smile touched her lips. “Thanks, but I’m just an amateur. A real artist is someone professional. My technique is weak.”

“Don’t sell yourself short. You’re better than anyone I know,” He scanned the sketches scattered across the desk. “Who told you that? Some shitty teacher?”

She hesitated. “My father.”

Levi pressed his lips together. “Sounds like a real ray of sunshine.”

She chuckled at his dry tone. “He just didn’t want me to think I could make a living out of it.”

“Ah, a natural motivator,” Levi deadpanned. “Bet he works in suicide prevention.”

She laughed, the sound light and genuine. ‘First joke she’s found funny,’ Levi thought.

She leaned forward slightly, a grin on her face. “Do you know my father, sir?”

“Not a clue,” he replied, sipping his tea. “Don’t call me ‘sir,’ by the way. I told you that.”

Her expression turned sheepish. “Sorry… force of habit.” Her smile faltered. Then why…why did you choose me? The question hovered unspoken between them.

Before she could gather the courage to ask, Levi changed the subject, holding up the cat sketch again. “You like this cat?”

Her face brightened instantly. “Yes! That’s my baby, Clauws!”

Levi raised an eyebrow but kept his thoughts to himself. ‘What kind of shitty name is that?’

She explained, “I got him as a Christmas present. He had claws, and Santa Claus brought him to me, so…Clauws.”

“Ah. I see.”

She laughed, catching his expression. “Give me a break—I was ten!”

“Fair enough.”

“Are you a cat person or a dog person?” she asked, clearly trying to keep the light mood alive.

“Neither,” he replied bluntly.

Her smile faded.

“I never owned pets. They shed everywhere. Too messy.”

Her enthusiasm dimmed, but she tried to hide it. “I guess…”

—

“I’m telling you, he’s been taking trays to his chambers!” Sasha’s finger hit the mess hall’s table as she spoke. “He has someone there!”

“How do you know he’s taking an extra tray for someone else and not just for him and Commander Hange to have dinner together?” Connie asked, trying to find logic in her declarations.

“Because there’s been an extra tray for every meal!”

“You count trays?” Jean grimaced in shock. “You’ve got a serious problem with food.”

“Whatever! He has someone there!”

“Ugh, let’s put an end to this,” Armin said, appearing out of nowhere to place his tray on the table. He climbed onto the bench attached to the surface, the rest of the group looking at him in confusion. With a loud, fake sigh, Armin pulled out a small pile of letters and held them up for everyone to see. The group gasped.

“He has a girl named Y/N over. How do I know? Correspondence,” Armin declared.

“Armin, you’re a genius!” Sasha exclaimed, but Jean stared at him in pale horror.

“Have Eren’s suicidal tendencies rubbed off on you?! Captain Levi will beat you senseless if he finds out you’ve touched his letters!”

“Relax. I’m going to put them back before he finds out,” Armin said calmly. “I read in a detective novel that you can open letters with steam and reseal them. Maybe we’ll figure out what she’s doing here.”

Before anyone could respond, another voice broke in. “Who? The omega Captain Levi has in his office?”

As Floch appeared and sat down next to them—uninvited and unwelcome—their lighthearted curiosity turned uneasy.

“How do you know that?” Connie was the first to ask.

“Well, Mr. Wannabe Detective here would’ve known if he were an alpha,” Floch sneered, clearly enjoying his superiority on calling Armin’s beta nature out. Was there a connection between Floch clear unbiased wish that they would have chosen Commander Erwin, a well-known alpha, over Armin? Perhaps.

Armin stayed silent, his self-esteem taking a blow, but Jean, the only alpha in their group, though far from dominant, jumped to the challenge.

“Shut up! Even if she was one, how would you know?” Jean demanded.

“Oh, I know.” Floch smirked. “I was delivering reports to Commander Hange, and her scent hit me under the door.”

Floch had recently come out of a rut, a telltale sign of young alphas developing.

“I have to say, before I realized it, I was trying to open the door. But it was locked,” he added, sounding almost offended. “Such a pity.”

The friendly atmosphere disappeared completely, and everyone shifted uncomfortably in their seats.

“That’s creepy as hell, dude,” Sasha said, disgusted.

Floch shrugged. “Everyone knows omegas drive alphas wild. Who the hell brings one here? That’s on them.”

Suddenly, Armin stood, clutching the letters tightly. “Maybe I should put these back,” he muttered. The idea of digging into Levi’s private life no longer felt like innocent gossip—it felt deeply wrong.

—

Levi stared at the two envelopes in his hands, clearly not work-related and not addressed to him. He quickly noticed one bore the name of the letter he’d sent earlier. But something didn’t add up. The last names didn’t match. “Her father, maybe,” he thought as he read, “Dietrich.”

He shrugged it off. “Maybe they’re a tight-knit family,” he guessed. He made a mental note to drop the letters off at his chambers before heading to his meeting. “Maybe it’ll cheer her up.”

But when she saw the letters, she didn’t look cheerful at all. She tried to mask her unease with a forced laugh. “Oh, haha, I just have a headache,” she lied, waving it off.

“Do you want some painkillers?” Levi asked, already thinking about making a quick trip to the infirmary. ‘Maybe it’s an omega thing after a heat?’ He wasn’t well-versed in omega biology, but he wanted to be a considerate partner.

“No, no, thank you! Have a good time at the meeting,” she said quickly, ushering him out.

Alone at last, her hands trembled as she clutched the letters, sinking into the couch. Her heart raced.

‘He wrote to me,’ she thought, her cheeks flushing. But the realization quickly turned sour.

“He wrote to me,” she muttered, dread sinking in.

One part of her wanted to read it, to giggle and cherish the thought that she was still the deepest desire of a man who wouldn’t give up without a fight. But her rational side screamed, “Are you out of your mind? Imagine what he’d do if he found out.”

Duty or love. Desire or safety.

‘Screw it,’ she thought, her hands trembling as she struggled to open the seal without tearing the paper.

A gilded reflect caught her attention from the corner of her yes. Her grandmother’s letter, sitting on the coffee table next to the wedding ring she’d taken off earlier.

The ring was uncomfortable. It didn’t fit her well. But the sight of it next to her grandmother’s letter felt like a moral reminder. Her grandmother had written back so quickly to offer support, her words a lifeline in this overwhelming new life.

The excitement drained away, leaving only shame and pain. “You know what the right decision is,” her conscience scolded.

Before regret could take hold, she tore Dietrich’s letter to pieces and flushed it down the toilet. Tears streamed down her face. “It’s the right decision,” she repeated, thinking of her younger siblings—particularly her two little sisters.

It was late into the night. The field lay eerily still, save for the occasional shadow of soldiers patrolling under curfew. Their footsteps were sparse and distant, a quiet reminder of the night’s vigilance.

She sat on the wide threshold of the office’s main window, her head leaning heavily against the glass. The chill seeped through, a stark contrast to the warmth of her skin, and she welcomed it. Her lifeless gaze stretched out into the abyss beyond, where darkness swallowed everything in sight.

The tears hadn’t dried yet. She blinked slowly, afraid they might return if she lingered too long on her thoughts. The air felt thick, oppressive, as if it carried the weight of her despair. The walls seemed to close in with each passing second, shrinking her world into something suffocatingly small.

‘I hate it here,’ she thought bitterly, the words ringing like a quiet scream in her mind.

Levi returned to his quarters, the weight of another gruelling meeting pressing on his shoulders. The moment he stepped inside, he noticed her sitting by the window, her figure barely illuminated by the dim moonlight. Her head rested against the glass; her shoulders slumped. Something about the way she sat—so still, so lost—struck him.

He shut the door quietly, hanging his cloak by the hook before stepping further into the room. “You’ve been sitting there all night?” he asked, his tone neutral but laced with a hint of concern.

She didn’t turn to look at him, her voice soft and hollow only hummed. “What is that even supposed to mean?” Levi asked back.

She didn’t turn to look at him. “I’m fine.” The words were brittle, almost a whisper.

He crossed the room, setting something down on the desk before leaning against it. “You don’t look fine.”

She seemed unresponsive, as if life were something that passed her by, not something she was meant to live. Levi’s gaze lingered on her, his breathing slow and deliberate as he wrestled with the unfamiliar territory of trying to be understanding. ‘What is it now? The food? The place?’

“Y/N,” he said, his voice low but firm. The sound of her name seemed to pull her out of the fog she was in. “I told you—I’m not a mind reader. If something’s wrong, just tell me, so I can fix it.”

Something shifted in her expression, her dull gaze sparking with an edge of frustration. “What’s wrong?” she echoed, her voice breaking slightly. “I’m far away from home, from everyone I know. Stuck here, in this tiny little room.”

‘Oh… so that’s it,’ he thought, nodding softly with an air of exhaustion. “This is temporary,” he replied, his tone even. “I’ll find you a place—somewhere better. Somewhere you don’t have to be here… with me—”

Before he could finish, she raised her hands to her face, muffling a scream before collapsing into sobs. Levi froze, his eyebrows shooting up in surprise. That reaction wasn’t what he’d expected.

“What the hell did I say now?” he muttered under his breath, bewildered, watching her unravel before him.

She turned to face him, her eyes red-rimmed but sharp.  “What do you want from me?!”

“I’ve the same damn question,”

“Why are you doing this?”

He frowned, taken aback. “Doing what?”

“This.” She gestured vaguely around the room, her tone sharp and weary all at once. “Why am I here? Is this some sort of punishment? Did you think my family would suffer more by taking me?”

Levi’s brows knit together. “Punish your family? What are you talking about?”

“I’m not going to excuse anything,” she continued, her voice rising as if she hadn’t heard him. “I’m not going to excuse what my father did, alright? He did business with the old Military Police. Sure. But we weren’t some noble family rubbing elbows with the royal court. We’re not that influential.” Her words came faster now, anger and frustration spilling out unchecked.

Levi opened his mouth to respond, but she didn’t stop.

“At first, I thought you knew my father somehow, or maybe you hated my kind, and this was some sort of twisted fantasy,” she began, her voice trembling but firm. “Then I wondered if you just wanted an Omega wife to fit neatly into your new position in the government. But now? I don’t know anymore! I don’t understand what you want from me!”

Her hands clenched into tight fists on her lap, her knuckles whitening with the pressure.

“I don’t understand!” she repeated, her tone rising with the weight of her frustration. “You don’t even want me here—you’re trying to send me away, somewhere I won’t be a burden to you. You had plenty of single Omegas lined up for marriage, but instead, you called off my wedding, dragged me all the way here… just to cast me aside. What do you want from me?!”

Her voice broke as the raw emotion spilled over. “Is it fun for you? To ruin my life? To make me miserable? Is that all this is to you—some cruel game?”

She looked away, her gaze dropping to the floor. “And now my grandmother writes to tell me that my cat won’t eat. He’s lying in my old room, waiting for me. He’s going to die because of all this.”

Levi straightened slightly. “Your cat?”

“Yes, my cat!” she snapped, her eyes blazing. She inhaled sharply, trying to steady herself, but her tears betrayed her. “I was supposed to marry someone else,” she said bitterly, her words slicing through the air. “I had a life planned out. I was going to live close to the capital with my friends, with my cat, with the man I’d been preparing my whole life to marry. And then you…” Her voice wavered as she fixed him with a glare. “You called off my wedding.”

Levi froze, his eyes narrowing slightly. “What?” he said, his voice low and rough. “I didn’t—”

“Don’t,” she interrupted, her hand raising as if to physically block his words. “I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want your excuses or justifications. Just leave me alone, okay?”

He stood there, his hands at his sides, watching her crumble in front of him. Her words hit him harder than he cared to admit. He hadn’t known she was engaged—or that her life had been so carefully planned before all this. He hadn’t realized how much she’d lost in the process of being pushed into his world.

But she wasn’t letting him speak.

“I just want to go home,” she whispered, her voice breaking. “Please… just leave me alone.”

Levi clenched his jaw, his hands curling into fists. He wanted to say something—anything—

—

“You GAVE me a girl who was engaged to someone else?!” Levi’s voice cut through the room like a blade.

“You didn’t claim the damn Omega?!” Zackly shot back, his tone equally sharp.

The two cadets stationed at the far wall exchanged nervous glances, their bodies stiff and pressed flat against the plaster as if trying to disappear. They dared not breathe too loudly, their eyes darting from one side of the office to the other as the shouting escalated.

“Who the hell cares about that?!” Levi snapped, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “The girl’s a blink away from throwing herself off a balcony! And the only reason she hasn’t is because I live on the first floor. She’s smart enough to know she’d survive the fall and just end up crippled!”

“You come into my office to shout at me,” Zackly growled, slamming his fist on the desk, “demanding a house, calling me a liar—and you haven’t even claimed the girl?!” His voice rose with incredulity. “You wanted her. No second thoughts. We gave her to you! What the hell did you expect us to do?”

“I don’t know,” Levi retorted, sarcasm dripping from his tone. “Maybe you could’ve told me she was already promised to someone else!”

“You got what you asked for,” Zackly shot back with a scoff, leaning back in his chair. “You had one damn job, and you couldn’t even do that. So go back, claim the girl, and then we can talk about anything else.”

Levi stood frozen, disbelief washing over him. His steel-gray eyes locked on Zackly as if trying to process how a man could be so absurdly indifferent. “Maybe you’re the type to enjoy abusing girls half your age, but that’s not me. She doesn’t just hate me—she despises me.”

Zackly let out a derisive laugh. “Oh, your wife hates you? Boo-hoo, Captain. Welcome to marriage.” His sarcasm made one of the cadets stifle a chuckle, which they instantly regretted when Levi’s sharp gaze flicked toward them.

“We’ve got a coastal expansion to deal with, a train system to build, and a Marley invasion to prepare for,” Zackly continued, waving dismissively. “Neither of us has time to waste on this nonsense.”

Levi’s fists clenched so tightly his knuckles turned white. He’d never seen eye to eye with Zackly, and now, his patience was at its breaking point. “I need a damn house,” he ground out. “I can’t keep her at headquarters.”

The tension in the room was broken by one of the cadets, who sneered, “A house? Alone, for an unclaimed Omega? We’re not funding a brothel. Half the Alphas inside the Walls would be lining up outside her door.”

Levi’s world went red. His hand shot out, grabbing the cadet by the collar and dragging him close, his voice a low growl. “You say something like that again, and I’ll make sure you’re the one they’re lining up for.” He yanked the cadet lower, forcing him to meet his piercing glare.

The cadet’s bravado shattered instantly. “I’m sorry, sir—I didn’t mean—”

“I don’t care what you meant,” Levi hissed, his tone deadly calm. “You like to act cocky, but the moment you’re in my hands, you’re shaking like a little bitch.” He held him there a moment longer before shoving him back against the wall. “Don’t test me again.”

The cadet nodded furiously. “It won’t happen again, Captain. I’m sorry.”

“Tch.” Levi turned away, muttering under his breath. “This couldn’t get worse.”

—

“So… no house hunting today?” Hange quipped as they exited the main building, each fresh from their respective meetings. Their steps initially fell in sync, heading toward the waiting cart, but Levi abruptly veered off down the street.

“Were you going?” he shot back, his tone flat yet tinged with subtle sarcasm.

Hange stopped, blinking at his retreating figure before jogging slightly to catch up. their eyes dropped to the letter he held, his gaze fixed on the address written there.

“I’ve got something to pick up,” Levi said curtly, not breaking stride.

—

“Hey. Come on, wake up.”

Levi’s voice was quiet but insistent as he gently rocked her shoulder. She was sprawled on the bed, deeply asleep, the pitch-black room silent except for his voice. He’d been gone the entire day, leaving at five in the morning, and now it was three a.m. the following day. Despite his best efforts, she hadn’t even stirred when he came back.

“Wake up,” he urged again, shaking her lightly. “I’ve got something for you.”

A muffled groan escaped her lips as she shifted uneasily, her face scrunching in sleepy confusion. “What?” she mumbled, rubbing her eyes. “You’re back?”

“Yeah, now come on.” He tugged lightly at her arm, his grip firm but not rough. “Get up.”

Grumbling incoherently, she sat up, her movements sluggish as she tried to process being forced awake. Levi didn’t wait for her to fully come to her senses. He turned on the light in the adjoining office, casting a blinding glow that made her squint and groan louder.

“What’s this?” she muttered, shielding her face and rubbing her eyes.

Levi didn’t answer at first. Instead, he walked to the center of the room, a box resting on the floor. “You’ll have to be responsible,” he said plainly, crouching to open it. “I don’t have the time to take care of it or clean up after it. That’s my condition.”

Her grogginess evaporated the second she processed his words. Her eyes widened, and her breath caught as she saw him lift the box’s lid.

“Oh my god. Oh my god—oh my god!” she exclaimed, her voice breaking as tears spilled down her cheeks. Dropping to her knees, she reached out as her cat—frail, disheveled, and scared—darted toward her arms.

The small animal let out a hoarse, frantic meow, burying its head into her neck as she hugged it tightly, crying openly.

“It’s okay,” she sobbed, rocking the trembling creature as if to soothe both of them at once. “Mommy’s got you. It’s okay. You’re safe now.”

Levi stood in silence, watching the scene unfold. His lips pressed into a thin line as he observed the cat clinging to her like it was afraid to let go, its pitiful meows muffled against her shoulder. The animal looked half-dead—though perhaps it had been revived by her sheer will the moment it reunited with her.

Before he could say a word, she rose to her feet, still clutching the cat, and threw her free arm around him in a fierce hug. The startled animal was caught between them, meowing in protest, but she didn’t seem to care.

“Thank you,” she cried, her voice thick with emotion. “Thank you so much!”

“You’ve got to be responsible—” Levi started, but his words cut off as she planted a quick, impulsive kiss on his cheek.

He froze, his usual stoic composure crumbling for a split second as his brain scrambled to process the gesture. He didn’t know whether to step back, reciprocate, or say something, so he settled on standing still, his arms awkwardly hovering at his sides.

‘Well,’ he thought dryly, watching her coo at the cat with unrestrained joy, ‘this’ll make it ten times easier to tell her she’s stuck here until further notice.’

Link to my masterlist and my other works if you feel like checking them out.

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[hiraethwrote]

As you're THE local florist, I'd like to request some Baker!Nanami x Florist!Reader headcanons that come to your mind 🙂‍↕️♥️

the local florist??? i am blushing. you're so sweet ilysm mwah. so i obvi took some real life inspiration from my life. and as happy as i am to not work as a florist anymore (bc it's too much work for shit pay), i look back at it with fondness, and i think i love flowers more than the average person lol

baker!nanami and florist!reader, who have a shelf in the bathroom dedicated solely to hand moisturiser due to constant cracked and calloused hands — neither occupation is as delicate and nice as it might seem to be on the outside.

for nanami, kneading dough and rolling out pastry takes a toll on his strong hands, the pillows of his fingertips becoming rough after being stuck with said tasks for hours. for you, your hands turn dry after constantly working with water. they’re basically submerged in water half the time, constantly wetting and drying them which eventually leaves small cuts in your skin.

baker!nanami who accompanies florist!reader to the airport when you have to pick up the cut flowers that’s being delivered. the large boxes of flowers are a lot heavier than they look. this is where nanami comes in, who spends a lot of time carrying flour bags, so lifting a few boxes of flowers into your van is no problem at all.

baker!nanami who comes to your flower store after closing, because you have to work late — again. he usually clocks out by the time you lock up, and he always texts to hear if you have to stay longer, and about half of the time the answer is yes.

whether it be a wedding, funeral or just a celebration of some sort, the demand for flowers is high, and never underestimate the time it takes to put together a dozen table decorations.

but nanami will, sooner rather than later, knock softly on the window. you scurry over to let him into your dimly lit store, his available arm snaking around your waist to pull you close, placing a soft kiss on your temple. in his other arm he has brought dinner — if you can consider leftovers from the bakery dinner. you don’t mind though, because his bread and buns are delicious ;)

baker!nanami and florist!reader who have to do laundry every single day. when he returns home after a day of baking, he is covered in flour, and dough is still sticking to his clothes, while your clothes are stained with dirt — ungodly amounts of dirt, and you don’t understand where it all comes from.

baker!nanami and florist!reader's apartment is the place to hang out because it’s so extremely cozy. due to both of you being particularly meticulous when it comes to details, every inch of your home is carefully thought out.

from furnishing to decorations, there’s just a harmony throughout your home that is very warm and inviting, so people tend to want to stay there as long as possible.

baker!nanami who sends customers to your store, especially couples who are in to order wedding cakes. he will casually hold a conversation and sneak in the question of “have you fixed flowers yet?”, and just send them in your direction.

baker!nanami who scolds you for being too careless. a florist uses a great variation of tools in their work. most commonly is obviously the floral knife, which you might pave around a little too much. you can’t really help it as you value efficiency when the store is packed with demanding customers who want their bouquets yesterday.

so when you come home, the first thing he’ll do is examine your hands before shooting you a disappointed glare — “what about your burns, mister?” you’ll quip in return, because his hands are just as scarred as yours. he’ll answer the same thing every time; “you’re more important.”

baker!nanami and florist!reader who have an hour every night before bed, dedicated to venting about customer experiences from throughout the day.

“must be so cozy working here,” you both hear on a regular basis, but if they only knew. nanami often has to take a deep breath when people walk into the bakery asking “excuse me, do you sell pastries?” like there isn’t a display cabinet a few feet in front of them filled to the rim with delicious treats.

and you’ll tell him about the gossip you get an insight to. how you had to write a card from some guy to his girlfriend, or presumably former girlfriend now, where it said ‘i’m sorry i messed up again baby. i never meant to slip into her dms. you’re the best thing to ever happen to me, love your sugar plum’

baker!nanami and florist!reader who live the domestic dream. you spend your days doing what you love, always bringing your passions with you home — a home filled with both flowers and bread.

©hiraethwrote 2024 . all rights reserved. reposting, translating and otherwise plagarisim is prohibited

[blkkizzat]

I made box brownies. They're excellent. Something every baker should know...include a little instant coffee: made or granules.

Now that that's out there. Your JJk man is mad at you. How do you proceed?

Nanami, i feel like you just have to wait that shit out. He'll calm down sooner or later and talk it out with you.

Geto will be passive-aggressive, but you keep your head on straight and he'll eventually tell you what's wrong.

Gojo: show him your tits. He can't stay mad if you show him tits.

Sukuna...hope you don't make him mad.

Toji, flash your credit card a little. Buy him dinner for the one time. Give him a blow job when you get home. He'll chil out.

Thoughts by - 🧠

Hey 🧠 nonny bae! sorry this took so long I havent been feeling the best and ive been super busy😭😭

Nanami: omg I feel like we would have to have really done some bullshit for him to be mad 😭. Nananmi strikes me as the "dont go to bed angry type, so even if he was still mad he would still give us a kiss on the forehead a quick, love you before going to bed. And if we insisted he would still spoon us.

Geto: oh i definitely see that he is like king of PA lol. i feel like ya'll gonna have to mind game each other and its a battle of wills who caves first. although i feel like by the end, after all the layers of manipulation, neither of you know what you were bad about in the first place, end up hate fucking and calling it a day LOL.

Gojo: GoHOE is so easy to please lmfao. just baby him a bit and fuck him calm again.

Sukuna: LOL I think he would just start ignoring you and taking it out on everyone else around him. He would say he wouldn't want to see you but he's pouting waiting for you to come gravel. You of course dont want to get your head lopped off so you are avoiding him until Uraume has has enough and insists you go apologize. You wont be walking for the next week after all the makeup sex but at least you are still alive!

Toji: fihvnfdlnvskfjh not give him money. 😭😭 he aint gettin shit from me for free except 'free the bros' 😂😂. But I'll cook em a thanksgiving like spread and do a lil dance on that dick and he'll be alright. uhcaudbhfkhbfkd

Choso: skips being mad and goes straight to switch-dom mode and gonna fuck his frustration out. no condom and hes bustin inside so you better hope you on birth controlkjrehfnskhfvks.

Higuruma: run him a bath after a long day, have a meal and a wet puss ready and he is more than willing to forgive, hes too tired to stay mad anyway.

[notaplaceofhonour]

not trying to overthink a dumb standup joke but I’m gonna overthink a dumb standup joke

saw a clip of a standup routine by a (Jewish) comic where the joke was basically “if every time we see a nasty goblin in media and assume it’s a caricature of Jews, at what point is it on us?” and the joke really bugged me

not for the reason you’re probably thinking lol. I’m not about to clutch my pearls over a joke by-Jews-for-Jews-about-Jews that I have to assume wasn’t made in earnest (Jews with self-deprecating humor? water is wet!). no, what bugged me is that one of the examples he gave was Count Dracula from Dracula

(another thing that bugged me: the picture used to illustrate technically wasn’t even Count Dracula. it was Count Orlok. but tbf Orlok is just Dracula with the serial numbers not even shaved off, just covered in sharpie, so 6.7 of one and half a baker’s dozen of the other i guess)

the problem is the antisemitism of Dracula and the strain of antisemitism present in a lot of vampire lore isn’t exactly armchair speculation from random people in the audience.

scholarship points to the book being based on Trilby, a novel about a Jewish man seducing & murdering European girls. Dracula’s agent Immanuel Hildesheim is explicitly Jewish, with stereotypical features & references to the antisemitic play London Day By Day—and while Dracula himself is not explicitly Jewish, a lot of his features match up to the same stereotypes as Hildesheim.

While, iirc, Nosferatu (which was not merely based on Dracula, but an unauthorized adaptation of it, infamously so: the film was nearly lost because the court ordered all copies be destroyed over its plagiarism) ‘s creator was Jewish and I doubt it was intentional, it did nevertheless incorporate even more elements present in antisemitic stereotypes at the time, like the hunched back.

but again, noticing that similarity isn’t coming from the Jewish audiences. Hitler calls Jews vampires in Mein Kampf. The Eternal Jew used tropes from & makes visual reference to Nosferatu. it isn’t like Watto in The Phantom Menace where George Lucas was trying to stereotype Italians and ended up making a character that reads as stereotyping Jews if you squint a little—the Nazis directly compared Jews to Dracula & Nosferatu and incorporated them into their most infamous pieces of propaganda

that doesn’t make Dracula or Nosferatu literal Nazi propaganda themselves, but neither did the antisemitism present in them come entirely from the Nazi’s readings; they just noticed a thread already present in German and English culture and turned them up to 11

anyways, there had to have been a better example that would’ve made the joke work better. or maybe I just know too much about vampire lore to be the target audience of this particular joke lol

[teaspoonnebula]

VALL Chapter 1 - The Warning

So as a recap - yes I run this substack. No, I haven't read this novel. I'm really looking forwards to getting to experience new (to me) canonical Sherlock Holmes for the very last time in my life... and I'm going to write a bunch about it, so hold on tight.

“I am inclined to think—” said I. “I should do so,” Sherlock Holmes remarked impatiently. I believe that I am one of the most long-suffering of mortals; but I'll admit that I was annoyed at the sardonic interruption.

LOL I love how we jump right into Holmes and Watson banter. Watson's understated "“you are a little trying at times" reminds me of his reaction to Holmes shooting holes in the walls at Baker Street being "I felt strongly that neither the atmosphere nor the appearance of our room was improved by it."

Of course we don't get any indication of the tone in which he says these things, but I think we can guess Watson is countering with a little acerbic wit of his own.

So, Holmes has received a letter from a mysterious figure known as 'Porlock'

Picture to yourself the pilot fish with the shark, the jackal with the lion—anything that is insignificant in companionship with what is formidable:

This idea of the pilot fish is a very cool metaphor. Unfortunately it is entirely ruined for me because it was also used in the Christmas Invasion episode of Doctor Who to describe these things and that's always where my brain is going to go:

Porlock is one of Moriarty's henchmen or representatives! Which makes me interested in the fact that I've never come across this character in pastiches or adaptations or fanfic - why not?

(Also it makes no sense for Watson to know all about Moriarty but that's a Continuity Thing and we all know Arthur Conan Doyle didn't let that sort of thing get in the way of telling his story - more power to him, honestly.)

“You are developing a certain unexpected vein of pawky humour, Watson, against which I must learn to guard myself.

I JUST SAID THAT, HOLMES.

“May I be there to see!” I exclaimed devoutly.

Well THAT is a sucker punch of a line. No, Watson, you won't be there to see, I'm afraid. See, there will be this Swiss boy... anyway, we're getting off track.

Turns out Porlock is a bit of a mole (I wouldn't quite go so far as to say 'double agent'), and has been giving Holmes information provided he is paid enough. This includes a secret cipher which relates to a particular book, which Holmes assumes will arrive in the second post.

GUTTED I didn't read this book when I was 11, I loved ciphers and would have lapped this up.

“Your native shrewdness, my dear Watson, that innate cunning which is the delight of your friends...

"your friends" Lol Holmes just say "Me" we know that's what you mean - and gosh, he's being so sarcastic with Watson!

Billy the page shows up with the second post and readers, I CHEERED at Billy. Does he say anything? No. But BILLY!!! Alas the letter from Porlock says that he just had an unpleasant encounter with Moriarty (with an envelope addressed to 221b in his possession, whoops!) and so so he won't be sending along the key to the cypher.

I love that Holmes' reaction to this isn't frustration at not getting his cypher, but worry for Fred Porlock, and hope that Moriarty doesn't actually suspect him. THIS is why I love Canon Holmes - I think he is fundamentally kind...

“Perhaps there are points which have escaped your Machiavellian intellect.

Holmes points out that they might be able to work out which book is required for the cypher, and guides Watson through his deductive process - which is adorable. And I loved following along with it too - with my knowledge of Victorian ephemera I was hoping it was going to be a Bradshaw, but as Holmes notes to both Watson and me, the range of vocabulary needs to be broader!

It's a Whitaker's Almanac! But not the new edition - the old one. This is a fun little reversal which gives us a moment of Holmes thinking he's 'failed'.

The message suggests that someone called Douglas who lives at Birlstone House, Birlstone, is in danger.

(Clearly this is a totally different house to Hurlstone, from Musgrave Ritual....)

After deciphering the message, Holmes and Watson get a visit from an Inspector MacDonald. I was a little sorry this isn't one of the familiar Yarders (Hopkins, my beloved...) but I'm going to be interested to get to know him. Alas, Holmes is too late to save Douglas - he has already been murdered.

***

So, uh, I'm having the time of my life reading this, honestly. It's such incredibly good fun. I'm intrigued that whatever has happened to Douglas must somehow be linked to Moriarty.

There's a lot of banter about Watson's intellect which I feel should frustrate me more, a lot of the dialogue feels like it's bordering on being quite patronising to Watson, but I think his reactions suggest this is comfortable back and forth done from a place of security in each other.

[fancyfeathers]

@luckycharm1 asked a question

Hello! I’m pretty bad when it comes to tumblr etiquette since i do not understand how it completely works, but I hope its alright to send you this 😭 Regarding your previous post I wonder what would happen if the intelligent daughter ended up escaping and not get caught for a while. Like what would her plan be and how in the end would have William found her (or have trouble finding her since she probably would come up with a better escape plan than moriarty brothers darlings lol) I also just wanted to thank you for writing these stories bc this definitely brought back my Moriarty the patriot obsession 😭🩷

Ah you are so sweet, thank you! It is completely alright, I adore questions like this because it gets the gears in my head turning ❤️💕

This little girl knows enough about her parents history that she knows exactly what to do. During her walks through town, she had seen a house that leaves their bicycles against the side of their house and while she knows stealing is wrong but she doesn’t have much of a choice because if she sneaks on the train her father could easily have someone like Sebastian or James meet her at the station in London and that is exactly where she needs to go.

On bike it would take her at least three days, maybe four, to get to London. Traveling through the countryside it is harder for anyone to find her especially when they don’t know what she is trying to do. Luckily she does not have to steal anymore than she already has because she has memorized a book about edible plants, sure it does not taste good to the little girl, but it is what she has to do. Sleeping is the hardest bit, laying on the earth and using her coat as a blanket while she just wants to be with her mother and sister, but she can’t see them, not now anyway.

When she arrives in London, she immediately asks for directions from a stranger, which gets a weird look from the man but answers anyway. She is off once again, making her way through the London streets, avoiding any place she thinks anyone she knows may be. She props her stolen bicycle against the building and walks ups the stairs leading to the door and knocks, and a surprised blonde man answers, he was clearly startled by the sight of this child.

“M-may I help you, young lady? Are you lost?”

“No sir, this is the right address, correct?”

She hold a piece of paper up to the man for him to see. The man’s eyes widen with surprise even more so that this child was here.

“Y-yes, this is the right address.”

“Wonderful, judging by your expression you must be Dr. Watson.”

“Yes, I am and you must be the most intelligent child I have met.”

The little girl giggles at the compliment as the doctor handed the piece of paper back to her.

“Thank you, I wish I could stay to chat but I am afraid I do not really have time. Is Mr. Sherlock Holmes here?”

“Yes, um… please come inside.”

The doctor leads her upstairs to the flat and has to interrupt a conversation between Miss Hudson and the detective. Soon enough the residents of Baker Street find themselves sitting down with this little girl, having a conversation on the level of adults. She explains how she got there, biking all the way from Durham and then the question of why comes from the doctor and before the little girl can answer, Sherlock does.

“Because she wants to be my assistant, but why she wants to is the question.”

“Because my father is the Lord of Crime. I received my father’s intelligence but have the face of my mother, and I know she does not want to be with him and I want to figure out a way out for her… I-I won’t tell you my father’s identity if you don’t want to know, but please I want to help her.”

There is a shocked silence from around the table, except from the detective as he listens to her explanation. No one knows what to do, Miss Hudson would not have the heart to send her back to her family and neither would to two gentlemen, but surely they cannot expect this child to handle dangerous work that Sherlock deals with-

“Alright, seems like I have a new assistant.”

It would not take long for her father to find out where she is after that, living at Baker Street with the three adults. She put him in a stalemate, if he goes to claim custody of her, he will be exposed but he cannot let her continue down this road…

What to do?

[rottingmelancholycake]

Introduction!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~🖤🍰~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[[[ Heya! I'm Mars, (They/them prns please) and I got struck with the Dandy's world brainrot, so here I am with a blog for my favorite toon Cosmo!! Except he's twisted and sad of course. ]]]

HEY UM I'M A MINOR. Don't be weird around me.

This is also my first time making a blog/using tumblr in general! Please be patient towards me :]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~🖤🍰~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

DNI: Pedophiles, Zoophiles, homophobes 18+ suggestive etc. Don't be a NSFW blog either. basically, don't be a weirdo. ASKS:

ASKS ARE USALLY ALWAYS OPEN.

I'll post something when they close or when their back open!

You can ask these!:

SPECIFIC LORE RELATED QUESTIONS. If they get too lore things, i'll throw a devious /ooc and cackle /lh

You can ask to interract with Cosmo, like give him hugs, sweets, heavy objects he may not like all of it though.

Feel free to curse Cosmo with anything, i'll set a curse limit for 20 asks maximum. (For example, you can curse Cosmo to make him only speak backwards lol. Go wild! M!a s are really cool too...

When Cosmo does a action, his text would start out with [🖤🍰]

Ask me, Mars!! My text will be in this green colour :] (NO NSFW ASKS WITH ME NEITHER OR WEIRD STUFF AND ESPIALLY DONT SHIP ME WITH NOX EW. )

Please don't ask these:

ANY NSFW OR SUGGESTIVE THINGS. Big no.

Please no romantic things. You can ask Cosmo to give you a hug (Maybe) but no more then that.

THIS IS TEMPORARY!! But please no roleplays with Cosmo yet. The only account i'll be roleplaying with for now is @melancholichugs. I'll be sure to notice ya'll if things would change though!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~🖤🍰~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I DO NOT SUPPORT ANY OF THE PAST CO-DEV OF DANDY'S WORLD (aka Rox's) ACTIONS.

This blog won't have much ship stuff going on really, but it does have implied fruitcake (Sprout x Cosmo!!) You won't be seeing like much sprout AT ALL though so. Feel free to ask Cosmo about Sprout (or any other toons really)

ABSOUTELY DO NOT SHIP MY COSMO AND @melancholichugs's GOOB TOGETHER. They see eachother as CLOSE FRIENDS. (Platonic, even!!)

A FEW WARNINGS. This blog will include:

Lots of gore

Character death (?)

Cannabalisim

Se!f H34M

I will of course give warnings to these! Please proceed with caution...

OF COURSE I would love to thank my lovely friend and QPP Nox (Aka @melancholichugs owner for deciding to make a duo blog with me... I will do lots of art for their blog and in exchange theyre gonna do lots of writing for mine! Were a power duo fr.... 💚

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HASHTAGS:

#🖤🍰- The Ex-Baker snarls. (Cosmo responds to basic asks!) ||

#🩹🍰 - Cosmo explores. (Normal posts) ||

# ❤🍩- Confused Gargling. (Cosmo interracts with other blogs!) ||

# 💙🍰- Joy with the hugger. (Cosmo interracts/mentions @melancholichugs's Goob!) ||

#💔🍓🍰- Pained sobbing. (Cosmo interracts/mentions Sprout.) ||

# ‼🍪 - Confused screeching. (Cosmo interracts with normal toons.) ||

#💔🤎🎂 - TEAR MY HEART OUT. LET IT BLEED. (Cosmo remembers past events. This is also the lore tag!) ||

#🤎🍰 - Rotting Cake. (Cosmo..GETS CURSED??) ||

#💔‼ - Despair and screaming. (This is the tag for the trigger warnings above.) ||

#💚🐉 - The planetary gremlin yaps (Mars speaks!) ||

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EXTRA STUFF

(TW FOR ICHOR)

But yeah heres Cosmo's design!!! silly..

FEEL FREE TO DRAW HIM!! I love fanart..

Welp..Thats basically all! Hope ya'll enjoy fellas :]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~🖤🍰~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[itskrejsaitsparty]

!!! Gig Report Leipzig !!!

- Queue was very chill. We arrived at 4pm-ish and were 18 & 19 EA, so all good. While we were waiting for the doors to open Jan walked by, staring at his phone in confusion and vanishing behind a building. We were all a little worried if he was gonna find back to the venue ngl

- Met so many amazing people!!!! Everyone was so so so sweet and respectful oh my god I love you guys so much

- EA was so cute. Bojan explained the sound system to us. Kris walked out like a member of the royalty holding a tiny cup. The played ASTP & uhhhhh Omameljeno telo I think (?) blacked out a little there

EDIT: It was ASTP & Proti toku! thanks @mogoce-nocoj <3333

- Kris and Jure vanished immediately after, Jan, Nace & Bojan came down and took a few photos and gave a few autographs!!

- Sector5 & JC Stewart were really fun!!!

- I think from second one everybody in the room knew it was gonna be an amazing concert. The energy from the crowd (although NOT sold out, half of the room was empty basically) was INSANE and I think they really caught onto that.

- The mesh shirt was back

- Jure Eyeliner???? + THE sweater??

- Nace played a bass solo……the man is insanely talented…fr I was fucking changed

- Someone from the crowd shouted „Can you play *this song*?“ (didn’t catch what they said) and Bojan was like. „No. (Pause) Can you play rugby????…….just wanted to know.“ He is so silly istg. And really knows how to deal with comments lol

- Vse Kar Vem changed my life watered my crops etc. as always

- Bojan took a BIG walk around the audience during UM and let a lot of people sing. Jumped back out onto the stage right next to us. Ahhhhh. What the fuck

- During Metulji, Bojan propped up a painting of himself on Jan's piano to get Jan „in the mood“. Jan gave it a little kiss. During the first verse (?) the painting fell down with like. Perfect comedic timing. Bojan put it back up again and acted super heartbroken but then he could NOT stop giggling and neither could the crowd. It was so fucking funny

- Afterwards we got some pictures with the boys and talked. Jan Nace & Jure took their time, Bojan is getting sick again I think (no one is surprised) and really wanted to sleep and Kris went straight into the bus

- Oh yeah and Damon Baker was also there and spilled some tea hahahahah. An icon. Bless him

[emmy-dekarios-bg3]

💜ALL ABOUT YOUR TAV / DURGE AND THEIR ROMANTIC INTEREST💜

Your tav or durge’s name and their partner:

Emmy & Gale 💜

Tell us about your character - anything at all!

Well, I named her after me, but she’s only sort of a self-insert. A lot of her traits I do not have. She’s musically inclined, talkative, never shy or nervous, and doesn’t always think before she speaks 🤣

Her bio dad? Gortash. Though neither of them know until it’s too late (read my fanfic if you wanna know more lol)

What do they enjoy doing together?:

Drinking tea on the balcony, going for walks outside with their baby in the stroller, cooking together, and looking at the stars! They also enjoy reading on the couch together while the baby sleeps.

What is something your character’s partner loves about them?:

Gale loves that Emmy is weird, funny, loud, and clumsy 🤣 He also appreciates her charisma and ability to start the conversation when it comes to being in a group. While Gale loves to talk, he is unsure on how to start conversations in a group.

Their life after Baldur’s Gate?:

They got married and live in Gale’s tower. She gardens and sells fruits and vegetables at the market while he teaches at Blackstaff. They have a baby girl, who is roughly 5 months old but she can no longer age due to her immortality (if you want to know the full story, she was born with a powerful strand of the Weave. In my fanfic, the Weave she contains is enough to destroy a devil, in this case, Raphael. He stole the Crown of Kara’s from Mystra and the only way to destroy it is by using the Weave. In exchange for the baby’s power, they gave her immortality. Emmy and Gale then sell their souls to become immortal so she won’t ever be without them).

Something your Tav / Durge loves about their partner:

She loves that Gale is so intelligent, occasionally awkward, brutally honest, and very sweet. She knows he would do anything for her and that makes her heart melt 🥹

Something that your character and their partner both hate (about anything):

•They both hate goblins of course. Not just how irritating and cruel they are, but how bad they smell.

•They do not like evil. At all.

•Gale has learned to hate ambition and is appreciating the comforting life at home.

•They hate it when strangers try to touch their baby without consent but that’s a given. You know how random strangers are.

•They HATE beer

•The never ending cycle of washing dirty clothes and diapers. Now that they’re immortal, it never ends. Ever. Laundry is especially loathed, just because nobody enjoys doing it, especially if you own over 20 wizard robes.

~NO PRESSURE TAGS~ 🫡

@darcydekarios @busy-baker @karkyna

@galedekarioswifey @tee-dohrnii @allymcfee

[fadinglights]

like for a starter from the muses below! could be based on your wishlist or any of the wanted plots if they catch your eye :>

anthony lee — 28, medium/baker, bisexual, fc: greg hsu

maybe a muse who's a regular/co-worker with a crush on him?

someone he used to know before he dropped out of med school

maybe they're exes.... kind of the power couple back then that people thought were going to places but neither of their lives turned out as expected

ghost in his apartment/cafe or anything supernatural!

he's brought to a blind date gathering thingy as his friend's support animal and oh wow actually glad he's here cause it's how he met your muse who's maybe a bit jaded in love but hit the jackpot with him (they both did) </3

koji tanaka — 28, filmaker, bisexual, fc: mackenyu arata

maybe he's dating/sleeping with someone who he's working with? an actor/actress/screenwriter etc... it's a mess

friends with benefits situation

fake dating plot except he's the worst person to ask lmao

the one where he's accidentally the third person in a relationship... oops

kind of feel like a throuple plot would kinda suit him idk

hyeon joonwoo — 24, professional figure skater, homosexual, fc: sung hanbin

someone he trains with (he's in the olympics team)... could be besties/rivals/rivals to lovers <3

alternatively someone he works with, maybe a physiotherapist or something

celeb/non-celeb plot, his schedule/the long distance getting in the way

someone he met and fell for in another country (could be another athlete/anyone), could be oblivious about his job until they see them on tv lol

elodie yoon — 25, designer/mafia heiress, bisexual, fc: kim yoojung

'i'm your ex and once i got into a near-death situation with criminals and they left me alone cause i'm in your protection list???? explain'

best friends to lovers, your muse could be from a family of crime too or works for hers

rivals to best friends to lovers.... give me children of rivaling families who fall in love and say fuck it...

bodyguard/protectee plot because yes (warning she's a menace)

a partner unaware of her background, until that one time they have to suddenly start running for their lives on a cute date????

leah willems — 30, er doctor, bisexual, fc: davika hoorne

something something spicy with a colleague (doctor, nurse, therapist etc)... in my medical drama era tbh

they're in a perfect marriage except it's falling apart and maybe your muse is cheating and regretting it when she finds out </3 maybe they even work in the same hospital gASP

your muse is the barista of the coffee shop she always goes to for her caffeine fix but she fell off the radar for a while and your muse is lowkey worried????

our muses used to date in high school, were the power couple and broke up due to long distance? now they meet again years later, maybe in her er or a reunion event idk

jules kwang — 26, makeup artist, bisexual, fc: roseanne park

she's on a dating show (kind of like the boyfriends but maybe it not just guys lol, or single's inferno) except she's a jaded skeptic and only here for the free vacation <3

could be combined with the first one, a hopeless romantic/skeptic golden retriever/black cat dynamic

she's dating a client/someone she worked for, someone from the world of fame and it gets messy

someone she's collabing with for a youtube video for her makeup channel, cute chemistry ensues and maybe fans are begging for more collabs and lowkey wish they'd date <3

something slightly forbidden like her brother's best friend or she's your muse's sibling's best friend sth... if it's the latter the best friend probably thinks they shouldn't date her just to avoid getting their heart broken lmaoooo

a before sunrise kind of plot idk

[dickwheelie]

here have the first few paragraphs of my retired holmes/watson fic that is currently at 13k and counting. hoping putting some of it out there will force me to finish it in a timely manner lol.

this is sort of a combo of canon and granada holmes, based on whatever vibes were necessary in the moment. enjoyyyy if ya nasty

____________

It was I who came to him, a few months before the end.

He had written me several times from his lodgings in the Sussex Downs, and so I had his address on hand for a visit I took in late June of that year. It was, I admit, a bit of a whim on my part, otherwise I would have sent a letter ahead, but then again I did not expect to be turned away and had only intended to stay for a few days, perhaps a week at the most. The fact of the matter was that year the summertime ennui had struck me with more strength than I could ever before recall, and with my practice closed for the season and my bachelor's apartments lonelier than ever, I felt I had no choice but to pay a visit to my old friend and colleague.

Holmes had retired to a rather modest cottage in the countryside, with a sizable bee farm, as he had so often spoken about in our younger days. I knew of this from his letters, of course--apparently the honey business was doing remarkably well--but it was another thing entirely to wander up the long drive and hear the incessant buzzing and humming crescendo as one approached the lines of wooden hives that dotted the back yard of the house.

I knocked at the front door with the head of my cane, which by then I was using full-time, but when no staff nor retired detectives arrived to greet me, I wandered round to the side of the house and through the back gate, which was latched but not locked. It was then that I caught sight of him, sitting smartly upon a metal bench at the apex of a small flower garden, a thin silhouette with a proud posture overlooking the lines of the beehives. His back was to the house and thereby also to me, but the bench sat a little off to the right from the gate so that I could see the outline of his profile. That proud, hooked nose, that pointed brow, the thin lips; in silhouette against the late afternoon sky he looked just as he might have back in our rooms at 221b, staring down at Baker Street from that upper window which at one time or another saw the entire world passing by underneath.

It was not my intention to surprise the man any further than my unexpected visit would undoubtedly do already, but taking a few steps across the grass towards him I realized that my footfalls were entirely silent, hidden beneath the unending buzzing of the bees. I might have called out to him, or made my presence known in some less startling way, but I did neither of these as I approached, silent as an Indian tiger in the underbrush.

At least, I had thought so. I was not a meter behind him when a sharp, clear voice cut through the breezy afternoon air.

"My dear Dr. Watson, you might have phoned ahead. I believe that is what the younger set call courtesy these days."

I could not help the bark of incredulous laughter that emerged from my throat as Holmes turned on the bench to face me, his eyes shining with mirth. Up close, with the full light upon him, I could see that he had changed considerably since our last farewell; his face, lined as mine now was, was even more angular than it had been, and indeed it was only those keen, grey eyes that had remained untouched in our decade apart. His hair was entirely silver, a quite distinguished look for his brunette, in my opinion, than the pale grey I had been left with.

He held a cane now, too, which rested now between his knees as he sat. His fashion, I observed, had not changed an iota; not in style, nor in color, nor in cut.

An almost unbearable fondness rose in my throat then, looking upon him in that moment, so familiar and yet so strikingly new. Perhaps if I had more of my wits about me I could have put all that he had taught me to some use and gleaned some clue as to his recent dealings, where he had been that day, what he had eaten . . . but I confess all my faculties faded away in the face of that wry smile, identical to that I had seen countless times across the breakfast table, in the armchair by the fireplace, facing me in a train car, next to me in a cab or in a concert hall. I had not realized, until that very moment, what a drought I had been in.

"Holmes," I said before any hellos, for they could hardly be of any use between us now, "you must tell me how you knew."

Read the rest on ao3!

[lucinatta]

GIRL OK I'm going to vent. If u want to read that'd be great cause I want to know if I'm in the wrong here lol. It's long tho so no need <3

Last monday was my birthday, it's a sucky day to have as a bday so what I did was invite my friends over for dinner on sunday, wait till midnight, blow the candles, eat some cake, open presents, and send everyone on their way at about 1 am so all of us could sleep relatively early. These were like, my "important" birthday plans, because they happened on my actual birthday. I invited my closest friends + 2 girls my friends have been dating for about 7/8 months, because a) I like them! and b) I knew they were spending that weekend over at my friends' places anyway so bringing them was easier than not.

Context for later: The 2 friends with the girlfriends are male, those are the only 2 partners that are external to the friend group, there's 9 of us, and we've been friends for about 10 years.

Anyway, so when I set that plan up on the gc, I explicitly asked both my friends to bring their girlfriends. They told me they would, they did, everything went great. After sunday's plan, I proposed we go out to dinner and then for drinks this saturday so I could have like proper bday plans that don't get cut short because everyone has to get up early for work. Everyone said they could come. Great, no issues so far.

Issues start yesterday, in a gc I'm NOT in that my friends made so they could discuss my present for sunday + a surprise cake (that now I know about lol) for saturday. This is not uncommon, we have bday groupchats for everyone in the group. One of my friends (girl) proposes the surprise cake, and apparently one of my male friends says that his gf can make the cake (as a gift) because she works as a baker. My friend (girl) says that it's not a good idea, since it be weird to have her make a cake for a plan she's not invited to. Apparently this caught both my male friends off guard, because they were under the impression that both their gfs were invited and had already told them about the plan. Now, to be clear, I didn't invite them and at no point did I imply they were invited. Not necessarily because I didn't want them there specifically, but rather because I wanted a night out with just my friends. These 2 girls come to a lot of our plans as a group, but when they do it's because we either tell them to, or our friends ask if they can come. NEITHER OF THESE 2 THINGS HAPPENED!! I want to clarify though, I didn't and still don't feel strongly about them not coming, and if it had been up to me, I would have liked both my friends to reach out to me and let me know that they had misunderstood, that they thought the girls were invited and that they had already invited them, and I would have told them to bring them!! like it really wasn't a big deal. Instead they got upset and told their girlfriends that they couldn't come because I DIDN'T WANT THEM THERE, which sounds sooooo much more drastic than what it actually is. So I find myself in a very shitty situation with NO WARNING (because again, this started in a gc I'M NOT IN!!!), when one of my friends sends me this really long message about how sad and hurt he is and asking me if I'm mad a him or his gf or whatever, and how he had hoped that I would think of her as my friend after all this time. To clarify she's not my friend, she's my friend's gf (that I really like!!), and "all this time" is 8 months lmao. Now these 2 girls think that I hate them, and I have to apologize for something I DIDN'T DOOOOOO. Like this wasn't my misunderstanding, I wasn't even on the gc!! and like what options do I have, realistically? Telling them to backtrack and invite them back gives major "you can come, IF YOU WANT" vibes and I hate that, and telling them that, no, they're not invited sounds like I don't like them or want them there. Like both my options suck.

Things have smoothed over now with my friends but I know they're mad about their gfs being hurt and SO AM I but like, it's not my fault!!! They (my friends) assumed they (their gfs) were invited when they weren't!! But again, it wasn't something I felt strongly about! like honest to god idk why they didn't just tell me they had invited them because they thought they were invited before stirring the pot behind my back. Now everything's a mess and things are tense because the rest of the gc sided with me. And I'm not gonna lie I'm kinda mad that they made this my problem on my bday week. Like couldn't you have waited a week to bring it up?? Anyway that's it lmao

[thatwildnya]

Centaur AU centaur AU (Number 1 fav AU hehehe)

I'm kinda curious about Riddle, Trey, and Cater - what kinda centaurs are those three? ALso are any of the guys particularly cuddly - regardless of their cuddlability (so, like, even if they might have rough scales or spikes of some kind or something like that, they're still a cuddler lol)

chitters and nickers:

Wild: our first request! I’m really happy to get one so quick! I started writing it as soon as I saw it, sat on it for over half a day, was unable to continue due to wifi issues, then spent another 2 hours editing before Nya convinced me it was good. I hope you enjoy anon!

Nya: it’s going to be an uphill battle convincing this man to stop editing and adding more for every request wish me luck lovelies-

TW: Rook

RIDDLE HAS BEEN UPDATED

Riddle

Griffins are known to be very independent centaurs and it isn't uncommon for them to be hotheaded and somewhat controlling, especially towards strangers or those they see as lesser. So don't expect him to be all friendly at first, let alone cuddly. But once he's comfortable and trusts you he won't ever shy away from your touch.

Trey

I knew right away I wanted him to be a draft horse. These horses are known for their even temperament and being affectionate gentle giants. If you asked me to picture a baker or anthro draft horse I would imagine a buff man with a sweet smile. Trey has the same physique as I picture plus the same vibes so it fits perfectly.

Cater

He’s a bunny boy. A floppy ear bunny boy. That’s it.

When it comes to who’s the most cuddly in general it’s hands down Kalim, strangers or not. If Nya and I hadn’t decided to make the light magic users all foxes as a little easter egg he would have been a golden retriever. If you let him Kalim will cuddle with you every time you sit down. If he’s full animal he will try to snuggle under your shirt, in your sweatshirt pouch, or if there’s room right next to your face squished in your hoodie.

In his humanoid forms he likes to stretch across your lap or midriff. You can have him curl around you and use him as a giant pillow but neither of us would recommend it. He will wiggle a lot and you’ll most likely get a face full of tail wagging at the speed of sound.

Never go to the bathroom without locking the door. He does not knock half the time and won’t leave unless you yell at him. Personal space does not exist in Kalim world. Has so much love to give but not enough places to give it too.

If we’re talking about who’s the most cuddly with mc in story then it would be Silver (yes even more than Kalim). I touched upon this in another ask, Silver absolutely adores mc and would follow them to the end of time. He’s always near them if he can help it. Mc will sit at the table to do something and he’ll be doing a snooze at their feet. Then they decide not to do the thing there and move to the living room, Silver following behind groggily. He rarely even sleeps in his room (which is the attic) because of his desire to be close to them all the time. Nobody complains because he won’t sleep in the bed unless it’s his turn.

The big cuddle bugs to their masters (excluding the two above and Floyd cuz y’know it’s Floyd) are Ruggie, Rook, Malleus, Leona, Cheka, Che'nya, Jamil, and Azul.

Ruggie’s first few years of life were rough. He comes from the equivalent of a puppy mill in this scenario and he didn’t have anyone to rely on. The first time he felt unconditional love was when you rescued him from that awful place. He was barely alive and wouldn’t have lasted much longer if he’d been there longer. He gives back to you through acts of service and physical touch. He likes being able to curl up next to you for some scritches and the occasional rough housing in full animal form. Absolutely loves taking baths with you or getting a full pet spa treatment bath delivered specially by you. When he was little he would curl up under your shirt for a nap so please let him use your belly as a pillow while he takes a snooze under the blanket occasionally.

Azul and Jamil have similar back stories. Both were neglected in favor of other pets for being less appealing. They are both teenagers by the time you adopt them and to say your relationship started out rocky would be an understatement.

Jamil (black mamba) assumed you chose him to be your servant, as that is what he was trained and advertised as. The last thing he expected was to get his own room, the newest phone model, and a trip to the store so he could pick out his collar himself. He still keeps his distance and it takes awhile for him to let you past his walls. But I swear it’s worth it in the end. He only gets super cuddly when it’s cold out. You are a warm blooded mammal and he is a cold blooded reptile give him your body heat immediately. If allowed he will wrap as much of himself around you as possible for maximum warmth.

Puberty hit Azul like a truck. With that and him putting in the extra work to stay fit he went from being completely overlooked by anyone who walked by to being the one to make the most passersby stop for a look in the shop. And yet despite that, none decided to take him home. He tried everything, from showing off his superior intelligence to having the best voice. Nothing worked. Then in came you. You took one look, smushed your face against the glass, fogged it up whispering ‘I must have him’ when he looked at you, and ran off to find the nearest employee. It was very startling to him, especially because he was busy studying when you slammed your face into the glass right next to him. But he isn’t complaining. Now he gets to spend his days scamming making deals with customers to contribute to the household expenses. As a reward he expects all the hugs, all the snuggles, praise, kisses, etc. If you deprive him of his rightfully earned wages the crocodile tears will start so be ready.

Cheka is baby.

Leona is a lazy manticore that has decided you’re his favorite pillow. Be careful not to overheat.

Che’nya wants your attention 24/7 and will get it one way or another.

Rook’s love language is yes. You will not escape. Accept your fate.

You are Malleus’ first friend and the only one he considers worthy of being his master. He is touched starved and you are his meal. Bone apple teeth.

[nectardaddy]

hi <3 for the ask game

☘️ - do you have any superstitions? and quirks you do to follow those superstitions? (i.e, ringing bells before you leave the house to ask the spirits to watch over your home, knocking on wood to bring good luck, not opening umbrellas indoors, things like that.)

🍵 - do you ever make s/i tea or coffee? what kind? if you don't make them tea or coffee, is there something else you make for them? like hot chocolate?

🌱 - do you like gardening? if so, what do you plant? and if you don't garden, whats something you would like to plant?

🥬 - what's a meal, snack, or drink you introduced to s/i that they like? whats one that they introduced to you?

🍒 - do you bake? do you and s/i bake together? do you have a go-to treat to make?

have a good day <3333 - @deathdetermineslife

self ship asks !

☘️ (kissing you on the mouth for asking this one ily)

I am EXTREMELY superstitious while suga is a little stituous, but I have created a monster with it and now he uses it against me lol. I have bells on the front door for protection, cinnamon and salt gets put under our front door mat every first of the month, selenite is overtop every single doorway, and this man CAN NOT sweep my feet (amongst many others but then this would get too long oops) he thinks is so fucking funny to chase me with the broom and pretend like he's gonna sweep my feet. I stg one day I'm going to knock his ass out

🍵

suga is an AVID coffee drinker, while I still drink coffee but prefer energy drinks (don't clock me for this I know they're unhealthy). usually he's the one making coffee for me <33 BUT I do wake up before him on the weekends and make coffee for him <3 we can't go without caffeine because we are actually addicted to it so there's never a time where we're not drinking coffee tbh

🌱

this is so embarrassing but I kill every plant I own. suga has a few plants in his classroom, just regular old house plants that he surprisingly hasn't killed yet. neither of us have a green thumb but he's better than me lmao

🥬

so uh... I can't cook to save my life. everything I make is from a box or stupidly easy so I introduced him to fried pickles made in an air fryer :)))) he however can cook!! and while he didn't introduce me to it, this man can CHEF UP some ramen!! anytime he says he's making ramen I am SAT

🍒

again, I can't cook so suga is basically the cook/baker in this house. he especially does NOT trust me in that kitchen to bake. I will BURN those poor cookies/cakes/etc.. so I sit on the counter while he does it and annoy him <333