#neither of them had stable family units they are terrible at comforting each other but they do their best

[marsafter-dark]

Jason had a rough fight with Bruce, and Danny is there to help… sort of (he’s doing his best 🥺)

[charlie--weasley-blog]

» THE BASICS «

Full name: Charles Septimus Weasley

Meaning:

Charles - “free man”

Septimus - “the seventh son”

Reasoning: Charles for Charlemagne, Septimus for his paternal grandfather

Pronunciation:   ch AH r l s “ch AH r - l ee”  s eh p t ih m uh s

Nickname(s) or alias(es): Charlie

Preferred name(s): Charlie

Label:

Date of birth: 12 December 1972

Zodiac sign: Sagittarius

Religion: Agnostic

Ethnicity: Caucasian

Nationality: British

Gender: Male

Preferred pronouns: He/Him/His

Sexual preference: Demisexual

Romantic preference: Demiromantic

Hometown: Ottery St. Catchpole, Devon, England

Resides in: London, England

Occupation: Dragonologist

Language(s) spoken: English, some French, some Romanian

Native language: English

Marital status: Single

Political views: Neutral

Financial status: Lower Middle Class

» BACKGROUND «

Species: Human

Birth order: Second

Traditions/customs: none

Level of education: Completed seven years at Hogwarts

How were their grades? Good in Herbology and COMC, fair in everything else

Best childhood memory: Ginny being born

Worst childhood memory: Any of Percy’s rejections

Experienced discipline: Some, but Charlie was mostly an obedient child

Family’s economic status: Lower Middle Class

Childhood career choice: Dragonologist

School subject they excelled at: Care of Magical Creatures

School subject they had trouble with: Potions

» APPEARANCE, VOICE, & MANNERISMS «

Looks like (or face claim): Sam Heughan

Height: 5′10″

Shoe size: US 12, EU 45.5

Figure/build: Stocky, muscular

Hair color, Natural or Dyed? Natural Red

Hair style/length/width: Shaggy, long but not as long as Bill’s ever was

Eye color: Blue

Eyesight: 20/20

Teeth: normal

Shape of face:

Body/facial hair: none, just scruff on chin

Self-care: reading, being outdoors

Skin tone: fair

Birthmarks/scars/distinguishing marks: Many scars on back, burn mark on left forearm

Tattoos: none yet

Piercings: none yet

Innie or outie belly button? outie

Dominant hand: ambidextrous

Describe their signature: messy, scrawled

Nail polish color: none

Clothing style:  very casual, mostly jeans and tee shirts and jackets

Frequently worn jewelry: none

Describe their voice, what accent? Pitch? Strength? medium deep, rough, warm

Speech style: slow and comforting

Singing voice: terrible, low tenor

Verbal tics: sometimes he trips on his words when he’s nervous

Scent: leather and something burnt

Posture: slouchy

Gestures:  (vigorous, weak, controlled, compulsive, energetic, sluggish?)

Default facial expression: warm, half-smiling

Age often mistaken for: twenty-six

» PERSONALITY «

Personality type: INFP-A

Upon firsting meeting them: he’s nice and sort of quiet

Catchphrase(s): calls mostly everyone ‘mate’

Positive traits: calm, friendly, content, warm, diligent

Negative traits: impatient, impulsive, indecisive, aloof

Likes: dragons, creatures, coffee, family, nature, books

Dislikes: being indoors, wearing shoes, being judged, cucumbers

Usual mood: calm, contented

Sense of humor: slightly sarcastic

Soft spot/vulnerability: his sister, creatures

Insecurities: his height, his ability to be a good brother

Fears: something happening to his family, enclosed spaces

Comforts: nature

Habits/quirks: almost always barefoot

Nervous tics: rubs the back of his neck, laughs awkwardly

Hobbies: reading, studying dragons

Guilty pleasure: unusual books

Desires: to continue to study dragons

Wishes: to be more like Bill

Regrets: staying away from home for so long, not going back to Romania

Secrets: he misses Romania quite a lot

Superstitions: putting a hat or shoes on the table is bad luck

Lucky number: 8

Pet peeves: being inside, people who don’t like being outside

Level of seriousness: 6/10

Level of independence: 9/10

» FAVORITES «

Accessory: his leather gloves

Activity: Quidditch

Animal: dragons

Beverage: coffee

Clothing item: his well-worn hoodie with a deep hood

Color: Gold, Orange, Red

Day of the week: Wednesday

Food: anything, but especially Steak and Kidney Pie

Gem: Tiger’s Eye

Holiday: Christmas

Ice cream flavor: Strawberry

Instrument: piano

Mythological creature: dragons

Number: 8

Quote/saying: “[Dragons are] seriously misunderstood creatures.” - Rubeus Hagrid

Person: it’s a tie between Bill and Ginny

Possession: his leather gloves and his wand

Scenery: anything wide open, but mostly the Dragon Sanctuary in Romania

Scent: tea, coffee, lavender, fire

School subject: Care of Magical Creatures

Season: Autumn

Quidditch team: Previously Puddlemere United, now Holyhead Harpies

Teacher: Rubeus Hagrid, although he was not a professor when Charlie was in school--otherwise, Silvanus Kettleburn

Time of the day: Dawn

Transportation: Dragons or Brooms

Weather: any, but particularly sunny and cool

Word: mate, probably

Vacation destination: Romania

» HEALTH & PSYCHOLOGY «

Blood type: O-neg

Time of birth: 11:02 PM

Place of birth: The Burrow

Manner of birth: easy, no complications

Vaginal birth or cesarean section?: Vaginal birth

Birth weight/length: 7 lbs, 4 oz, 18.23 inches

Sex: Male

Diet: protein rich, whatever he can get, junk food, his mum’s cooking, Fleur’s cooking

Alcohol Use: Moderate

Drug Use: None

Addictions: Coffee/Caffeine

Allergies: N/A

Body temperature: slightly high at ninety nine degrees Fahrenheit 

Exercise habits: gets his exercise working with the dragons

Sleeping habits: chronic insomniac

Do they get occasional checkups? No

Ever broken a bone? Yes

Hospital visits, what for? Yes, mostly burns

Any physical ailments/illnesses/disabilities? No

Any mental illnesses/disorders? No

When were they diagnosed? N/A

Any medication regularly taken? No

Phobia(s): anything happening to his family, claustrophobia

Are they prone to violence? No

Enneagram Type: The Epicure

Moral Alignment: Chaotic Neutral

Temperament: Phlegmatic

Element: Fire

Intelligence Type: Naturalist Intelligence

Approximate IQ: 105

Sociability: Introverted

Emotional Stability: fairly stable

» LEGAL RECORD «

Birth Name: Charles Septimus Weasley

Other legal names: N/A

Have they ever been arrested? No

Ever served prison time? No

Do they have a criminal record? No

Have they committed any violent crimes? No

Property crimes? No

Other crimes? Dragon Smuggling

» CAREER & INCOME «

Primary Source of Income: dragonologist

Secondary Source of Income: N/A

Approximate Amount per Year:

Content with their job (or lack thereof)? sort of

Past job(s): N/A

Spending habits: Only the necessities

Dream job: Dragonologist

Work ethic: Hard Worker

Feelings on their past occupation(s): N/A

Reason for leaving past occupation(s): N/A

Reason for their current choice of occupation: Charlie has loved dragons for as long as he can remember

How long have they been in their current occupation?: He’s been a dragonologist for eleven years, he’s been at his current job for four years

Are they well liked among their colleagues and employers? Yes

» RESIDENCE «

Living situation: Alone

Good or bad neighborhood? Middle

Cost/rent: 500 galleons per month

Home type: One bedroom flat

How many stories? The building is five stories, Charlie’s flat is on the third floor

Exterior colour: Brick

Interior colour: White and Brick

How many bedrooms? One

How many bathrooms? One

Any plants? No

Tile, wood, or carpeting? Wood, tile in the kitchen and bathroom

Housekeeping: None

Something they usually keep stocked in their fridge or cabinet: Coffee

Something they always keep next to their night stand: His wand

How do their neighbors feel about them: They don’t know him

Do they hate their neighbors; if so, why? No

Is their home haunted? No

Has there been any deaths in their home? No

Other: N/A

» SKILLS & ABILITIES «

Physical strength: 9/10

Offense: 5/10

Defense: 7/10

Speed: 7/10

Intelligence: 5/10

Accuracy: 6/10

Agility: 6/10

Stamina: 9/10

Teamwork: 9/10

Lying: 3/10

Sociability: 4/10

Talents: flying, Quidditch, Wizard Chess

Shortcomings: socializing, conflict resolution

Cook? no

Bake? no

Drive? no

Swim? yes

Play an instrument? no

Play chess? yes

Braid hair? yes

Tie a Tie? yes

Pick a Lock? yes

Shoot a gun? no

» VIEWS ON «

Life: amazing, terrifying

Death: terrifying

Love: believes in love, but doesn’t think he’s capable

Sex: not really interested

Marriage: it’s great but not for him

Divorce: no thoughts

Family: the most important thing in the world

Friends: the second most important thing in the world

Politics:  neutral

Religion: neutral

Work: enjoys work

Money: money isn’t the most important as long as he can support himself

Alcohol/Drug Use: to each their own, enjoys drinking

Tattoos/Piercings: thinks they’re cool/wants some

Swearing: fuck yeah

» SEX & ROMANCE «

*optional if mun is underage or uncomfortable

Virginity? Yes

Gender preference: Neither

Dominant/submissive? Unknown

Top/bottom/versatile? Versatile

Turn-ons: Unknown

Turn-offs: Unknown

Major kinks: Unknown

Average kinks: Unknown

Anti-kinks: Unknown

General libido: none

Do they have sex often? No

Do they take the initiative? No

How do they act? Unknown

Do they go slow or jump in? Unknown

Do they act like a friend or a lover? Unknown

Type of kisser: Unknown

Do they like kissing in public? Unknown

Can they commit to one person? Unknown

What are they like in relationships? Unknown

Do they want kids? He’s not opposed

Do they want to marry? He’s not necessarily opposed

How long was their longest relationship? N/A

How are they in bed? Unknown

Do they get jealous easily? Unknown

Feelings on oral? Unknown

» QUESTIONNAIRE «

Expensive or inexpensive tastes? Inexpensive

Hygienic or Unhygienic? Hygienic

Open-minded or close-minded? Open Minded

Optimistic or pessimistic? Optimistic

Daredevil or cautious? Daredevil

Logical or emotional? Emotional

Disorderly and messy or methodical and neat? Disorderly and messy

Prefers working or relaxing? Working

Confident or unsure of himself/herself/theirself?

Generous or stingy? Generous

Polite or rude? Polite

Book smart or street smart? Street smart

Popular or loner? Loner

Leader or follower? Follower

Day or night person? Day

Cat or dog person? Both

Closet door open or closed while sleeping? closed

Coffee or tea? Both, but usually coffee

Sleep or eat? Eat

Showering in the day or night? Day

Bath or shower? Shower

Shaver or waxer? Shave

TV or movies? Movies

Iced tea or lemonade? iced tea

Ice cream or smoothies? Ice cream

Cupcakes or cake? Cake

Beach or mountains? Mountains

Movie theater or Netflix? Netflix

Buying music or downloading illegally? Downloading illegally

Hot chocolate or hot apple cider? hot apple cider

Video games or computer games? computer games

Milk chocolate or dark chocolate? dark chocolate

Sunrise or sunset? sunrise

Feminine or masculine? masculine

Are they a good or bad liar? bad liar

Do they have a fake I.D.? no

How long would they survive in a zombie apocalypse? quite a while

Do they travel?  as much as possible

What do they wear to bed? just boxer briefs

On what occasions do they lie? almost never

What is one thing they’d most like to change about themselves? he’d be more like Bill in pretty much every way

How would they like to die? quickly and painlessly, but hopefully doing something impressive

Do they snore? yes

Do they chew their pens/pencils? yes

Can they curl their tongue? yes

Can they whistle? yes

Do they believe in the supernatural?  yes

Are they squeamish? no

Have they ever killed anyone? Why? How? no

Have they ever seen anyone die? What happened? no, but he’s seen someone right after their death

Are they a lightweight? no

Do they forgive betrayal? yes

Do they shower every day? yes

Most traumatic experience:

Do they wear the hood on their hoodie? yes

Do they use chapstick? yes

Would they rather sleep with someone else or alone? alone

What position do they sleep in? stomach

Which side of the bed do they sleep on? middle of the bed

Can they multi-task or must they focus on one subject at a time? one subject at a time

If suddenly challenged, would they rather run away or stay and fight? stay and fight

Do they get restless when things are too quiet or do they favour solitude and silence? restless

What would completely break them? losing any more family

What was the best thing in their life? his family

What was the worst thing in their life? losing his brother and best friend

Do they curse often? sometimes

» EXTRAS «

Deadly Sin: Pride

Virtue: Kindness

Celtic animal sign: Hawk/Falcon

Chinese zodiac sign: Rat

Zodiac flower sign: Narcissus

Native American Zodiac Sign: Owl

Zodiac gemstones: Turquoise, Topaz, Quartz

Theme song: Sugar in a Bowl - Of Monsters and Men

Song that would like to play at their funeral: Come On Up to the House - Tom Waits

Song that is likely to be found on their music library: I See Fire - Ed Sheeran

[ciriatto]

Excerpts from In Search of Devotion (November 2017)

Excerpt I With all possible might I dragged his body in the same direction as the swallows were flying through the sky. His inflamed injuries were hard to evade with my trembling hands as I took him to a place to leave him behind. A place where he would withdraw. When my arms were too exhausted to pull him any further I put him down and started to use my tired arms to dig a hole. Earth creeped under my nails, little creatures ran from the sudden interruption in their habitat. I kept digging while more air left my lungs because of the effort it took. There was only a hole about the size of his head made when I paused to lay myself down. My body needed sleep as well, but preferably the temporary kind. Although I wasn’t completely sure about that. It was an accomplishment that I didn’t fall asleep then. His burial was an honour that must’ve been done to him, the absolute least thank you for bringing me to some answers. Though he would have preferred to be thanked while he was still alive. These people he brought me to weren’t my friends but it was a lot better than being on my own. I needed to unite him with the nature now. If the only way to do that was to bury him like a dog, then that was the thing to do. Getting back upright I noticed I was really hungry. I took some herbs and ate them in big bites. With this new energy I digged further into a harder kind of soil and created a lengthier hole. When I guessed he would fit in I pulled him into the hole I had made with my bare hands. I saw it definitely wasn’t a big enough yet. There was no way I could decently close it. It wasn’t deep enough. I didn’t have the strength to put him back to a higher level of ground so I left him lying there and took the earth from beneath him. To do that I had to get close to him, almost embrace him. It was creepy how it wasn’t him anymore, how pure scientifically these were just dead cells. The world suddenly lacked his existence and I cried. My arms were still moving to make his new bed comfortable but it didn’t go fast enough. I pushed him into a different position and started to beat the ground with a wooden stick. The beating softened and loosened the ground, that way I was able to easily throw full hands to the sides. It went faster with that technique and the hole slowly became large enough for him. I checked his heartbeat one last time but felt nothing. I wondered if I could have saved him. Maybe it was thirst or hunger, or even a lack of trust and affection. Still I couldn’t be his murderer, the flood was the only thing murdering. One after one. And again I thought of what Floriana had said. I laid him in a comfortable position, perhaps the exact way he slept. Then I gave him a kiss on the forehead. A carpet of earthly material enfolded the body, buried like a dog. Slowly the hill of earth I had thrown aside was taking back its place. There was not enough light nor strength to find flowers, so I laid next to the grave and immediately my eyelids fell. I saw him again in my sleep, as the body he was no longer mastering. Later I woke up in a surrounding much lighter and warmer than when I had fallen asleep. I placed myself back on my feet and brushed dust from my clothes. I could see the unchanged ground where he was now. Aches hit my head as I thought back on holding his dead body in my arms. My stomach didn’t feel well either and I had seen it coming when I threw up. A watery liquid of green spots flew to the ground and little insects easily found their way to it. I noticed the fascinating insects. They were common, but I thought they were pretty. They were small, had many feet, and on their reptilian skin there were sharp triangles between spots. These insects were known for the sound they make, a high kind of singing. I couldn’t hear a thing though. Then I thought it might just be a myth. I had no clue what the time was and went searching for the others to see whether they were awake. I didn’t have the slightest idea how to phrase it and whether I would mention the way I buried him far from the everywhere ideal. However I might’ve tried to persuade myself of a protective energy or one of the gods receiving him at the gates of the non-living, I was deeply aware that all which accompanied him now was mud and insects. He was imprisoned in a blanket of the least pleasant material and I was sure of it that if I placed my bare hands back in there I would find him in the same condition as before except from the small animals that had bumped into this festive meal. His soul wouldn’t have escaped the prison I had masoned for him, because what would the gods come to do here? While the flood was being spread whole parts of Iolonyr were a fabric of dying ones. And it didn’t seem to me that the gods were still there to protect them. They had already suffered a terrible deterioration to their end after leaving their families behind a long time ago. And then they joined an army of cruel dying ones. What could possibly be worse after death? The soul that is left in them must’ve been as rotten and weak as their physical parts when they have lived flooded for some time. We seemed to be different. We seemed to keep our set of mind and we seemed to be the better ones amongst the flooded. But we were not. We were just as rotten, just as dying. We had the coincidence to be in different circumstances than the ones who were brought right to war in an atmosphere that enforced them to think the flood is the solvent path for all folks. We did not share this belief, but neither were we wise critical minds. Our souls were also rotten. There never was much left. We were not preparing a revolution, we were preparing each other’s graves. I struggled through the forest and followed a path I would not be able to find again, but perhaps that would come to my advantage. I never wanted to reach the spot realising he was lying beneath the ground there and realising his presence and his very strong absence. Excerpt II ​ ​The forest didn’t go on forever, and behind the last trees of this Ochen Lee’s home, there were houses, a bakery, and smoke from chimneys. It was a town without too much life. There were people who lived there, but no wall had been repainted, and broken windows weren’t properly repaired. I decided to leave my weapons between two rocks because being interpreted as a threat would make me a target. As I walked around between the wooden buildings, I quickly realized there was no one to be seen outside their homes. It was a small town, but the weather was nice so you’d expect at least one relaxed person on a seat in one of these not so private gardens. A growing sense of unease crept over me when I saw someone spying on me from behind a curtain. This wasn’t the regular daily life of these people; something was holding them back. I considered the possibility that it could have been the wild beasts of the forest, but discarded the idea quickly considering that those beasts had probably been there all along. I felt certain that something new and dangerous was threatening the inhabitants of this village. I knocked on the door where the person was spying on me. He knew I had seen him, so I could as well ask him the reason for his mistrust and fear. He didn’t open the door, but continued to peer at me from the window with a worried expression. I rapped on the door again, but when that did not provoke a change of expression I went on to the next house. I soon saw they were also watching me, but with a little bit more secrecy. I knocked on their door, but just like at the first house none of them moved and the door stayed closed. Either these people were sorely afraid of strangers, or they were expecting someone. I started to feel uncomfortable about my visit as well and went back to the rocks where I had put my weapons. I carried them again, because I didn’t feel safe anymore. I started to walk around more attentively and eventually reached life forms that weren’t spying on me behind closed doors or nailed down windows. A bunch of horses stood in an open stable. Most of them were stuck to a chain, but not all of them. I approached a beautiful one of a silvery-white colour. This horse would be of great use if I was ever going to get away from this village. I considered the risk of making these local inhabitants angry by stealing it, but figured then they might at least come out of their houses and provide me with some answers about the strange sense of foreboding hanging in the air. I put a saddle on the horse and led him out of the stable, but this horse’s hooves weren’t the only ones sounding. From along the horizon other horses appeared. As they came closer they reminded me of Eleula. Not because they were of the merfolk, but because they were equally as pale, with red blisters and gruesome appearances. Maybe this was the sect she had spoken of. The flood. ‘We must own as many cities as possible’, resounded inside me, ‘We must stand as one, as the flood’. The words from our boat trip seemed to only arrive then. Illness, power, infection. ‘You’ll spend the rest of your life flooded, and the flood is the only identification you have now.’ It didn’t mean much then, but now it started to. She had surely done something to me. All of these inhabitants fear me. For an instant I actually felt like the person these people must have taken me for, the scout of a flooded troop. I hoisted myself up into the saddle and galloped away into the forest where I had just fearfully ran out of. I wondered whether the troop could’ve seen where I went. I stopped because the forest didn’t feel safe either, and I was now in a spot where I could vaguely see the small town without much details. It was dark where I sat, and my horse kept still and quiet. I heard the warriors coming closer to the village at a fast pace. Maybe the inhabitants were barricading their doors and windows, or taking weapons from the kitchen to prepare to fight for their lives in a last act of desperation, or speaking comforting words to their children. Then there was silence. The troop must have arrived by the first houses. There were no screams, no cries, and no fights. A door was slammed in, quickly followed by others, and then the screaming started. I could hear the panicked wails of children, the desperate cries of mothers trying to keep their families together, and the ferocious sound of men fighting for the people they loved. I could only see some vague silhouettes running around behind trees far from where I stood, and then flames and smoke as well. Yet somehow it was like I could see in my mind’s eye what was happening as if it were happening next to me. Habitants were being grabbed out of their houses. Empty buildings and houses that didn’t yield fast enough were put to flames by those monsters. I could imagine them taking objects of value from women’s necks, from husband’s fingers, and put all together in bags. I was shaken from my thoughts when I heard one person’s voice rise above the others, a woman’s voice screaming loudly. I wondered how close she was and considered going deeper into the forest. Then her sounds started to die away. I turned my head away from the town, but the noises were the worst. Hearing them made me see innocent people being held close from behind and then thrown onto the ground. I wished there was something I could do. I heard someone running into the forest and quickly scrambled back onto my horse. It was probably an innocent victim running from the horror, and while I wished them well,  I couldn’t risk discovery. There was nothing I could do to help them anyway. I turned my horse toward the darker part of the clearing and started to pick a new path through the woods. I didn’t go too deep into the forest, but tried to find another way out that wasn’t too close to the town. A long vertical line of smoke constantly indicated where the town was. It shook me how this town, which was half an hour ago full of people, was now going up in flames. In such a short time those monsters had destroyed everything those men, women and children had ever known. After what felt like an eternity, I decided to stop and search for food. I was starting to feel weak and lightheaded, and my stomach was practically screaming with hunger. Seeing a spot with a decent sight line to a flock of lancetflustra, I got down and fastened the horse to a tree. I walked away a few steps and then laid down in some mud behind a rock to watch the flock. I wasn’t a great hunter, and was not accustomed to this bow so the first lancetflustra I tried to shoot down was completely wrong. I wasn’t aiming for anything other than lancetflustra, because they were the easiest for hunting. They only have two paws so they are slow, and their horizontal wings don’t get them very high. The meat of lancetflustra is really good and they have thin skeletons so there is a lot to be eaten on their small bodies. After a few missed shots I succeeded in killing and preparing a bunch of lancetflustra for a late meal. When I was done I got on my horse again to get out of this forest. Riding horseback wasn’t that different from riding Fennecus, therefore we managed quite well. I was relieved when I saw a field of open view. I crossed it and didn’t look back. The road went north, and we travelled hard even though I often had to cough and still felt dizzy. I was scared. Surviving on my own had worked for now, but I didn’t know what might cross my path next. It didn’t take long to find that out. A rider briefly appeared in the northwest, he was riding quickly with his head down. The road was hilly and there were trees standing in quartets or triples every now and then. I left my horse by a tree and climbed right into it. It was the only plan I could think of since I didn’t think he had yet to see me on the road. He would see my horse but if he’d walk up to it I would be right above him and could surprise him. I thought I had the situation under control. ​ At first I thought the rider would just pass, but then his eyes fell upon my horse and he didn’t hesitate to look at it up close. I tensioned my bow and pointed an arrow at him. If he would’ve looked up he could instantly have seen me, but he didn’t. I could see him clearly as he got off his horse and stepped around mine. His skin had a deep tan and didn’t appear much older than me. I couldn’t say to which folk he belonged, but it must’ve been a southern one to have been so dark. He wore a simple outfit, with not too much of his body protected, weaponry on his belt. He looked infected as well. His skin had an ashen undertone that undermined the depth of his tan and he had dark red spots on his body from various blisters. As he coughed up some phlegm, and I felt a familiar aching tickle in the back of my own throat I wondered how I must look with this disease.

[wbwest]

New Post has been published on WilliamBruceWest.com

New Post has been published on http://www.williambrucewest.com/2017/03/03/west-week-ever-pop-culture-review-3317/

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review - 3/3/17

Sometimes life gets in the way, and you just can’t get a post out on time. That’s what happened last week, but I’m here now, so let’s get on with the pop culture, shall we?

First, I guess we’ve gotta talk about the Oscars, huh? I didn’t watch them. I don’t really do awards shows anymore unless someone’s getting slimed, so this wasn’t exactly my cup of tea. The big moment of the night, however, came at the end when La La Land was mistakenly announced as the winner for Best Picture when it actually lost to Moonlight. And social media went wild! It’s been a crazy few weeks, as the Best Picture predictions had come down to those two films, but neither of them really appealed to me. I’m probably more likely to see Moonlight than La La Land, as the latter just doesn’t sound interesting to me. But having seen neither of them at the time of the awards, I really didn’t have a dog in that fight. I figure they gave the award to Moonlight to shut us up for a few years about #OscarsSoWhite. I mean, racism’s over now, right? Does Hallmark sell cards for that? A “So Glad Your Racism Cleared Up” card?

Anyway, from one controversy to another. I’ve never understood people’s disdain for The Big Bang Theory. It’s not reinventing the wheel or anything, but I find it to be an enjoyable half hour every week. I think people got too comfortable with their single cam Arrested Development and Modern Family that they just couldn’t deal with a multicam, studio audience sitcom anymore. OK, cool. But as the mainstream response to Arrested Development showed us, not everyone wants their shit to be smart. Sad, but true. For all the people loudly calling The Big Bang Theory “blackface for nerds” (which is itself offensive, and clearly exhibits a lack of understanding of blackface), it’s still the number 1 show on television. So, just like Trump voters, your friends and neighbors are watching and enjoying it in secret. And with those ratings come big paydays. The 5 principal actors on the show currently make $1 million an episode, while Mayim Bialik and Melissa Rauch make $250,000 per episode. Considering their roles have expanded greatly since joining the show in season 3, it can be argued that they deserve pay more inline with their costars. Well, the 5 principals (Galecki, Parsons, Cuoco, Helberg, and Nayyar) have each offered to give up $100,000 per episode so that money will be freed up for their costars to get raises. I don’t care how you feel about the show, but that’s pretty cool move on their part. Sure, they’re making a fuckton of money, but this is something they didn’t have to do. They realized they’re stronger as a unit, and they’re making moves to preserve it. Not everyone in this situation would do this. While The Simpsons has had negotiation shakeups in recent years, the last time a cast really came together like this was when the Friends stars negotiated for season 10. If CBS and the studio don’t agree to these terms, however, they’ve got an ace up their sleeve.

What started as a mere rumor is now actually gearing up to film a pilot: a prequel of The Big Bang Theory, focusing on Dr. Sheldon Cooper as a child. It’s being reported that Iain Armitage of HBO’s Big Little Lies is being courted for the role of Sheldon. The most interesting casting, however, concerns Sheldon’s mother. You see, on The Big Bang Theory, his mother is played by Roseanne‘s Laurie Metcalf. Well, Metcalf’s real life daughter, Zoe Perry, seems to be the frontrunner for the role of young Sheldon’s mom. So, daughter will be playing mom’s younger self. My head hurts! Anyway, I kinda love when Hollywood does stunt casting shit like that. Now, CBS hasn’t placed a formal pilot order yet, and I feel like a decision is hinging on how these contract negotiations turn out. I mean, The Big Bang Theory is an aging sitcom in its 10th season, and a renewal would only be for 2 more years. CBS has got to start thinking about the future, but this is clearly a franchise they’d like to keep around in some capacity sheerly for the ratings it brings in. So, it looks like y’all might be hating The Big Bang Theory for many years to come! Or it could just fall apart like How I Met Your Dad did (which, oddly enough, is being revived by the This Is Us team at the moment). Only time will tell.

Just as I like something you hate, I also hate something you all seem to be excited about: ABC’s Marvel’s Inhumans. As the show that I’m almost sure will be the nail in the coffin for Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., I just don’t see how this is a good idea. Marvel keeps trying to “make ‘fetch’ happen” when it comes to the Inhumans because they want their own robust mutant franchise, but nobody gives a shit. At least, I didn’t think so. However, with each casting announcement, y’all seem to get more and more giddy. Last week, they announced that Iwan Rheon of Misfits/Game of Thrones fame had been cast as Maximus. Anton Mount, from Hell On Wheels, has been cast as the Inhuman king Black Bolt, while Graceland alum Serinda Swan has been cast as Queen Medusa. Finally, Lost/The Night Shift alum Ken Leung was announced yesterday as Karnak. That’s great. Actors are working. I still have no faith in the show, however.

It’s no secret that The Inhumans were Marvel CEO Ike Perlmetter’s pet project because he wanted a stable that Marvel could exploit where they still owned all the media rights. As far as he was concerned, the Inhumans should be the new X-Men. In the comics, they’ve received quite a push over recent years, but it feels more like Marvel is shoving them down our throats than actually giving the audience what it wants. That’s why, once Marvel Studios’ Kevin Feige wrested control of the film division away from Marvel, the announced but delayed Inhumans film was demoted to a TV series. They’re really trying to make this a production, by releasing the first two episodes in theaters in IMAX, but it just feels desparate. Nobody cares, dude. The numbers on Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. right now are terrible, and I’d be really surprised if it got renewed. Considering it’s the show that introduced the Inhumans to the MCU, and has had them as something of a plot device since that introduction, yet it’s done nothing for the ratings, I don’t think the Inhumans are ready to stand on their own just yet. The argument could be made that the audience didn’t like how AoS was handling the Inhumans, and that they actually wanted the Royal Family Inhumans, which this new series is giving us. OK, but I still don’t see how that’s gonna be cool on a weekly TV budget. Then again, I never found the Inhumans to be the least bit interesting, so this project just isn’t design to appeal to me at this point. I honestly don’t know what they could announce to get me excited about an Inhumans series.

In other Marvel TV news that I couldn’t give two shits about, there’s been a ton of casting news for Fox’x untitled mutant-centered pilot. Yeah, I’m being contrarian, but I just don’t see this being great. First, it’s on Fox. This is the kind of show they pick up solely to cancel. Second, it’s gonna be expensive, which is why Fox will not hesitate to cancel it. Third, I still remember the Generation X TV movie/pilot and Mutant X. Fourth, it’s gonna be directed by Bryan Singer – a man who, despite 16 years of familiarity with the X-Men franchise, really needs to go somewhere and take a seat. Anyway, Jamie Chung has been cast as Blink, which won’t cost too much as they really just have to come up with a cool-looking, yet affordable, portal effect. Yesterday, it was announced that True Blood‘s Stephen Moyer and Angel‘s Amy Acker had been cast as the leads. The show follows the Stewart family, who are forced to go on the run from the government when they discover their kids are mutants. They link up with an underground network of mutants, and ugh, I’m exhausted already. So, they’re basically on the run the whole time? And you’re gonna be holding out hope for some kind of mutant of the week cameo, who’ll be someone they’d never put in a movie. Or maybe it would be. It’s not like the X-Men franchise has ever given a fuck about continuity. Since this is still at the pilot stage, I’m not gonna let it get my blood pressure up until it’s officially ordered to series.

Across the aisle over at DC, they announced a Nightwing movie, to be directed by The LEGO Movie‘s Chris McKay. If you don’t know who Nightwing is, here’s a crash course: remember how Batman has a sidekick named Robin? Well, the very first Robin, Dick Grayson, grew up, got sick of Batman’s shit, and struck out on his own as the hero Nightwing. That pretty much catches you up. Right now, DC is that deadbeat dad who makes a bunch of promises that he can’t keep. “Sure, I’ll be at your dance recital!” and then he shows up when it’s over, and the janitor is collecting chairs. They need to stop being so future-focused, and deal with the now. Word on the street is that Wonder Woman has problems, The Batman seems to be falling apart, and they still have to promote Justice League. Worry about 2017, and stop making all these promises for tomorrow. Anyway, I’ve seen an online campaign about how they should keep Nightwing’s Romani origins (for the uninformed, they’re what we call “gypsies”, even though we’re, like, not really supposed to use that term anymore. Whatever) in the film. Apparently, this is important for Romani representation and whatnot, but it’s kinda tough to swallow since some of the same folks saying this also come from the camp that said Nightwing should show up in the DCEU and be cast with an Asian actor. I’d be fine with Asian Nightwing, as I honestly don’t see what his Romani origin brings to the table. Like, it’s nice trivia, but does it lend itself to his character? As long as he’s a former circus brat who flips off shit, he’s Nightwing. Maybe I’m being glib, but I just don’t really see the argument here.

I was kinda worried about the DuckTales reboot when we saw the character designs. I was also confused as to why they went for “names”for the voice cast, when there are perfectly capable voice actors working out there. Then they released the trailer for the show yesterday, and I am worried no more. While the animation style took me a few seconds to get used to, I really like what’s going on here. Apparently, Disney does too, as the show has already been renewed for season 2, before the show has even premiered.

We also got a new Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 trailer. As far as I’m concerned, I don’t need to see single bit more of footage. I’m already a guaranteed ticket sale, so I really hope they don’t spoil us with drips and drabs for the next few months. I’m excited. My body is ready. Don’t overdo it.

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

You’ll soon be able to get all your diarrhea in one place, as Burger King owner Restaurant Brands International (what a lame name!) is buying Popeyes Louisiana Kitchen for a reported $1.8 billion.

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. kicked off what may be its last storyline, “Agents of HYDRA”, just before going on hiatus for the month of March

Cloverfield director Matt Reeves has signed on to direct and produce The Batman, presumably still starring Ben Affleck

I can’t stand the dude, but I know some of y’all like him: Chris Hardwick will be getting a new weekly talk show, Talking with Chris Hardwick, which will air on AMC as a year-round extension of his Talking Dead show.

The Nintendo Switch comes out today, so brace yourselves for socially awkward people playing it in public places.

Fox renewed freshman series The Mick (yay!) and Lethal Weapon for second seasons.

After nine seasons, SNL cast member Bobby Moynihan might be leaving the show, as he’s currently up for the lead in the CBS pilot Me, Myself & I.

Scientology traitor Leah Remini is set to star in NBC’s What About Barb? pilot, itself a gender swapped reboot of the Bill Murray/Richard Dreyfuss film What About Bob?

For its 9th season, RuPaul’s Drag Race will be moving from Logo TV to VH1. Considering this was Logo’s last bit of original programming, I wouldn’t be surprised if Viacom phased out the channel in its upcoming reprioritization.

Dr. Julian Bashir himself, Alexander Siddig (or Siddig El Fadil for you old heads), will be joining Gotham as R’as Al Ghul. Nope, still not gonna watch that show.

Soap opera Days of Our Lives was renewed for a record 52nd season, as cast member Arianne Zucker (who was at the heart of the Billy Bush/Donald Trump scandal) has announced she’s leaving the show.

So I saw Logan last night. It’s funny – I’ve been looking forward to the film since seeing the first trailer, but last night I had a sense of dread. I mean, the movie looked so…heavy. And was I ready to see Hugh Jackman give up a role he’s portrayed for the past 17 years? It all felt so final, and I wasn’t sure I was ready to say goodbye. Leaving the movie, my friend “Special Forces” said “That was damn near perfect”, and I have to agree with him.

Now, it’s easy to get caught up in the comic book movie hype. I mean, even I’ve come on here fawning over the latest Marvel film, only to see its flaws once the hype dies down. I can admit Age of Ultron was something of a chore to get through. And while The Winter Soldier was something of an MCU masterpiece, I’m afraid to revisit Civil War for fear of realizing it didn’t live up to its predecessor. The Fox X-Men films have established an even lower bar of quality, so you basically go into those now with lowered expectations. Logan, however, is a film that I don’t think I’ll have regrets about in the future.

First of all, it’s not a “comic book movie”. If anything, it’s an indie drama whose characters are taken from comic books. As much as folks wanted this to be the cinematic version of the now classic “Old Man Logan” storyline, this film has no real source material other than the characters. It doesn’t devolve into standard superhero hokeyness. It eschews every opportunity to turn into a “comic book movie”, as any opening for that is quickly supplanted with high intensity violence. There’s no Stan Lee cameo, there’s no post credits scene, and there are no costumes. Director James Mangold knew what he wanted to do, and he knew the tropes to avoid in order to be successful. The violence – my God, I lost track of how many times I gasped “Jesus Christ!” during the +2 hours. It earned its R rating and then some.

I won’t get into plot details, as I want you to see it for yourself. It truly is a beautiful movie, which isn’t something you’d typically say about a film with Marvel roots. Dafnee Keen as Laura is incredible, both in how she emotes, as well as her action scenes. It’s also a fitting coda to Jackman’s turn as Wolverine. I don’t know if he’ll ever come back. I mean, he says he’s done, but you can’t count anyone out in the world of comics. Then again, this ain’t a comic book movie. So, if this is it, he’s going out on a Hell of a note. He leaves behind one totally imbalanced trilogy, as the first film is maligned, the second film was serviceable, but this one is quite the mea culpa for all we’ve had to put up with over the past almost two decades. People are talking about award potential, and while it’s certainly good enough, I’m not holding my breath. It might win an Oscar for sound mixing or something, but I’m scared those folks won’t appreciate it for what it truly is. Logan is a moving experience, and it deserves all the praise the early reviews have been giving it. That’s why I have no hesitation in saying that Logan had the West Week Ever.