#neglecting posting shit for so long
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someratidk · 6 months ago
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ARTFIGHT days 6-15 Tenko carrying me to my attack goal fr 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
1) 'Nero', IG: @/lcdtwn // Twitter: @/mrtoothyman 2) 'Candy Xenon', Artfight @/fangz 3) 'Nicolas', IG: @/jashi.jpeg 4) 'Narcissa', @ghost--bot 5) 'Chrysanthemum Godiva', Toyhouse: BearBelly 6) 'Mason', IG, Twitter, Cara, @culticloset 7) 'Pavel', Twitter: @/TimTheOverlord 8-16) 'Ael, Thalassa, Condor, Uriel', Twitter: @/Tenk_oo
Artfight: https://artfight.net/~TheRat____ Hitlist: https://forms.gle/keUrv4o1aK6ns5yt8
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yes-man-luvrrr · 7 months ago
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Just f1n1shed watch1ng the new SMG4 ep1s0de
(Sp01lers bel0w!!!!!)
MEGGY WTF
WHYYYYYYY
WHY C0ULDN’T LEGGY STAYYYY
THAT WAS THE 0NLY FR1END MR PUZZLES HAADDD
AUGHHHH
MY P00R FUCK1NG B00YYYYYYY
G1VE THAT MAN A FR1END 0R TW0 THAT ACTUALLY APPREC1ATE H1M, AND 1 ASSURE Y0U, HE’LL FEEL A L0T BETTER
JUST FUCK1NG ST0P HURT1NG H1M
G1VE H1M THE SUPP0RT HE FUCK1NG NEEDS, AND MAYBE HE’D ST0P HURT1NG PE0PLE
ALL HE’S G0TTEN FR0M Y0U GUYS 1S TR0UBLE, EXCEPT WHEN HE WAS BRA1NWASH1NG Y0U
AND 1 KN0W 1 S0UND SELF1SH, BUT G0DDAMN1T, 1 CARE S0 DEEPLY F0R MR PUZZLES BECAUSE 1 M1GHT AS WELL BE H1M
1 KN0W H0W L0NELY HES G0NNA FUCK1NG FEEL
BUT 1 HAVE FR1ENDS. 1 HAVE FAM1LY
HE D0ESNT HAVE ANY0NE
AND THAT HURTS
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lucyvaleheart · 1 year ago
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#sigh. another vent post....#almost getting tired of making these but. I'm just.... I just don't really have much else I can do without botherin people#uh pretty big trigger warning for this one BTW#don't read on if you're low on spoons and whatnot. genuinely it's fine and I will be fine I always am#but like. yknow. when shit sucks it fucking sucks#anyway. uh. I just can't stand the idea that I might be bothering someone#so at least this way my stupid cries for help have a possibility of getting me some without making any specific#person feel obligated. yknow? maybe you see the post maybe you don't#Maybe you don't read all the way maybe you do. either way you can choose if you have the spoons to reach out#without feeling guilty either way. I hope.#.......i kind of want to fucking kill myself again#.....it used to be a much rarer thought. and I used to be much less struck by intense loneliness and longing like this#but I just feel so fucking needy. so desperate for attention and love and it hurts so much if I don't get it#and like. it's realistically nobody's fault but my own yknow... i need to ask for it more. i know that. i just suck at it#and then I can't ask. so I don't get attention. and in turn I feel neglected. secondary. like I'm not anyone's primary focus#and it just fucking hurts so much and it's just my own damn fault and I don't know how to fix it.#......i do. I need therapy I need meds or something. that's the answer here really#picked out a psychiatrist. need to call and make an appointment. but adhd and executive function and anxiety (that last one I need meds for)#mean it's very hard to both remember and then actually perform the task of calling the fucjing Dr#......believe me I'm trying.....like fuck I'm trying so hard.... and I started bawling having seen sparkles and ms robot girl reblog that#post from me about letting prev know you're proud of them. bawled when quinn called me cutie last night. bawled when#ginny said they wished they were here.... fuck me I do too I want to be the focus of someone's attention so so so so badly#fuck#...............it's redundant to say at this point a second time but. goddess above its a little scary how much I wanna kill myself#........sigh#....anyway. please do not feel obligated to respond to this in any way. do what you got the spoons for.#thank you for even reading all of this shit if you've gotten this far. i love you deeply and with all my heart. I'll be fine I promise#won't act on it no matter how strong the feeling is. just.....hurts in the meantime. but I'll be ok. I promise#................fuck. im going back to bed
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skrunksthatwunk · 2 years ago
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man I wish you could make little folders for your drafts bc there's "i saved this bc my brain didn't let me post it immediately without tags but it also wouldn't let me tag it" and there's "i actually need to add stuff to this to make it postable" and you'll never guess what i have a 100:1 ratio of in my drafts right now
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thebleedingeffect · 10 months ago
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#okay I'm talking in the tags of this post cause shit is happening in my life and I gotta talk about it somewhere#one part of it is my step brother crashing and burning before my very eyes and there's nothing I can do to stop his own destructive actions#so it's just me watching this poor kid ruin his relationships and blame everything and everyone around him as he does so#despite the fact that he's undeniably been treated horribly at times- he's just turned that anger back onto others and himself#and I have no idea what to feel as I watch him get arrested. have drug problems. because I'm just waiting for the inevitable spiral#it doesn't help that my mom has been comparing us and saying that I'm the much better child and she wishes he was like me#not understanding that I could’ve been him if I was just more angry at the world at that age instead of being so sad and scared#and that leads me to my fucking mom cause like- I love her. we've been through alot of bad shit with her#I've almost done some really bad shit for her and I know that she loves me more than anything else#but it feels like its been getting more and more suffocating cause I'm not sure she's able to start seeing me as an adult#and start loosening her grip around me and let me breathe. to have my own experiences without her by my side#to be able to go places and imagine a future without her constantly by my side#she talks and it's like she doesn't even think to wonder that perhaps I want to form my own experiences#and experience the world on my own terms because I feel like I've spent my whole life having so little damn control#religious family. shit and neglectful father who turned into the exact opposite and nearly killed me. family who refuses to listen and talk#having to move and run immediately. put survival above all else. go to school. get out. and god I just wanna breathe#she loves me so much and I love her too. but I feel like I'll be sooner crushed if I stick here for long enough#I'm just mad that my life has been nothing but absolutely no love. sudden waves of intense love. absolutely nothing. sudden spike#and I feel like I'm just finally starting to form good. healthy relationships on my own terms and actually make friends#because I had no idea what I was doing when I was a kid cause I was so fucking lonely and hurting#now I just. gotta figure out how to tell my mom that I can't carry this expectation that I'll continue to stay forever by her side#it just feels like I'm her child first and a person second. and it sucks. it really sucks.#ough. spins and spins and spins and spins-
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phoenixiancrystallist · 2 years ago
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Month 7, day 17
Almost done with the lowercase letters available on the pillar in the labyrinths! Got a couple—
Wait a minute
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Yeah, that's the labyrinth plinth. Is this the same text as the Monuments to Love? If not, I have ~*questions*~! I'm betting it is, though. No one tell me, I want to find out myself!
Anyway, lowercase is almost done, uppercase I'll have to freehand a few on like I did with D because I only have them on the papers, which uses a slightly different typeset (and yes, I am crazy enough to recreate that one, too).
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miquella-everywhere · 6 months ago
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So I have been avoiding Fextralife, specifically the Miquella wiki, like the plague for a long while now because, 1. Spoilers, and 2. the Miquella Comment Section, because I was afraid about what everyone(non-tumblr oriented) had to say about Miquella....
But honestly, I am pleasantly surprised to see nearly everyone is in agreement that Shadow of the Erdtree's treatment of Miquella is a blatant Retcon of his character WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT IT IS!
I feel like I've been driving myself absolutely crazy by screaming into the void about how the DLC treats both Miquella and the base game of ER like utter shit (there are some of you who agree and ily all 😭✌️), and now, all we are left with in the DLC is an utterly shameless retcon
I honestly thought I was holding myself together pretty well inspite of knowing what was going to happen at the end of the DLC, so I didn't think that the brawl against the Miquella followers would be the thing that would break me...
But boy did it break me and so here I am:
I HATE Shadow of the Erdtree
Shadow of the Erdtree is a disconnected shameless disgraceful Retcon and I will never hold it on par with Base Game Elden Ring
I am Elden Ring's #1 Fan
I am Miquella's #1 Fan
And I am Shadow of the Erdtrees #1 Hater
I will forever DIE MAD over Miyazakis braindead treatment of Miquella and the forsaken lore of Elden Ring
But for now, rage and despair aside, here are some of my favorite comments in Miquella's Fextralife comment section:
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the-acid-pear · 6 months ago
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Phone buying update 👍 gonna have to take a fucking, moment LMAO. I have seen so many beautiful phones to buy. And I will. But I am not that fucking rich. I've been spending a lot of money lately. This is good for my health tho. I'm really excited to, actually do something with my bedroom.
One thing I kinda super want to buy despite being as expensive as a phone is this little... Phone shaped ceramic thing for rings. But I'd focus less on accessories for now more on the real thing.
I'm torn in which model to buy first. My options are that 500 model looking beauty or the baquelita model. I'm more leaning for the type 500 looking cutie. Bc he's stupid cheap. 7500 bc of a dent. There's a fixed one at 15k but do I look like a collectionist? I'm just a faggot. I don't discriminate.
I'm also gonna be wasting money tomorrow. Gotta buy silly things. (Pens, paper. Gonna start journaling).
Excited for my FETAP on Thursday tho. We opening the only fans boys /J
#luly talks#...unless?#i mean if its in the condition I'm expecting it of course I'll post tit or something just out of sheer hype#SIIIIIGH WHAT A BEAUTIFUL LIFE OF THE AUTISTIC GAY. better go eat dinner now. i usually am ready for bed at this hour. wont skip dinner tho.#it's... it's been a long day ok. I'm... sit with me chat let me wind down a little.#let me recap. i bought that phone. i really did. found a beautiful offer for a beautiful cheap phone in great condition. exciting#i went to therapy. it was a good sessh. it was silly#we just spoke. i mentioned that. glossed over the ptsd. it's ok. I'm better than that#i neglected my duties tonight. will embrace them after dinner. my... below my ribcage. both sides pinching me#my colon... yeowch...#anyway. good session. and i came back feeling good.#i tried to start journaling. failed. but such is life lmao#dad told me we'd go buy shit tomorrow. gonna press him to do so.#i got to write oc stuff w my boyfriend. very silly very fun. i need to draw Tuvy and Cottontail together someday. randy too. normal trip#i didnt do artfight! but that's ok bc i found out they're extending it#and i ! also made plans w my bffff. excited and happy for that too.#a lot happened today. even if i went to bed at 3 pm bc i was freezing my balls off. it was a great day.#i... am happy with it. even with my stupidly empty stomach#I ALSO GOT TO ANSWER MESSAGES. MESSAGES I'D NOT OPENED IN TOO LONG. THAT'S GREAT TOO#i got a lot done today. and i cooked food lol#tomorrow i gotta solo the doctor but thats ok
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ravenwolfie97 · 1 year ago
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hey brain can you stop stressing out about things that aren't even really happening thank you
#my dream was weird again#pretty unusual in the sense that i was driving a lot#i kept having to go back down this one road and make a left into this neighborhood#so that i could get more food stuff#since i was supposed to be leaving for a long while#apparently also at some point i end up communicating with my mom probably on the phone or smth#and it hits me that i had been in a hotel and all of my stuff was still in there. like ALL of it#and it was like 3pm so it was well past checkout time#so then i start freaking out and my mom starts getting mad bc im stupid#and that last-minute stress was what woke me up n prompted this#i just really hate my brain stressing out over things that aren't real. like all the school/college dreams#where i keep like forgetting i have class things right before a deadline and i have been neglecting it and ill be held back#which by the way Never Fucking Happened in real life#i only neglected one class on purpose bc i was depressed as fuck and the only other scenario was the one i did in 2 days post covid#which truth be told was pretty stressful but i was so filled with adrenaline i was not even freaking out i was just Doing#but the hotel thing with leaving halfway before realizing i just kept my shit unpacked and sprawled out#leaving without even checking out or realizing i had nothing at all with me to move back with#nothing of the sort would ever happen in real life. i was so good about stuff like that especially for hotels on the move here#idk im so tired and i do not want to write on my phone anymore im not awake enough to deal w this
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exopelagic · 1 year ago
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just take this
#I know I’m posting a lot like this recently but#I’m just so fucking tired#I tried so hard at the start of this term to make sure I wouldn’t be struggling like I normally do and then stuff happens#and my shit gets moved around in ways that are out of my control and I’m in hell again#and I just like. even when things are good at the end of the day I’m pretty consistently kinda sad#is this the fucking winter I swear to god#I think it probably comes down to the fact that I have a truly ridiculous amount to think abt rn and it’s so hard to keep track of it all#and there’s always something immediate that I need to do alongside multiple long term things which I’m chipping away at but are always there#like immediately I have two presentations to write#and less immediately I have 6 lectures to catch up on. I gotta watch two before Monday#presentations and ideally some lectures by Thursday#and then on top of that there’s the coursework we just got given that I need to think about within the next few weeks#an essay Tuesday after next#figuring out a project area which means at least 3 more meetings. ideally more#also within the next 2-3 weeks bc otherwise I won’t have time#and then on top of that hockey is starting to feel like a job.#between mounting admin I’ve been trying to keep on top of and neglecting my degree and it being so busy and having to fill in for people#who are missing#and then the new skates are better but have their own issues and the laces fucking kill my hands#I need to find time to just go to a free skate sometime but that’s not happening until the new year :/#bc I’m going home immediately after term ends bc my sister is doing a performing thing that I need to be home for to watch the dogs#so my mum can go#and then like. constantly getting new drama that **I** have to deal with for some reason bc this one girl has decided I’ve betrayed her#a ‘massive fucking betrayal’ apparently even though I barely know her and I had no idea what was going on with her#and then. the whole fucking situation with The Guy#and god this different guy after hockey tonight when we were cleaning up was complaining and made a dumb joke and I made a dumb joke#and it was. dumb. and he was like hey luke is everything okay with your degree bc you’ve been more and more tired every time I see you#and he was taking the piss but he’s Right#luke.txt
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halonicheart · 1 year ago
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This Duskwight man was found on the brink of death, crawling out of the chasm known as The Palace of the Dead. Adventurers and Wood Wailers alike in the area got quite the fright… it wasn’t until he was in the hands of local healers that the handkerchief clutched in his hand was finally noticed. It was nice enough, silk with lace trimming and embroidered with the initials “D.N.”
The man was unconscious for several days. Not a single person came forward to identify him. The ones caring for him had no choice but to wait for him to awaken. When he finally did he could only remember his given name- Dorian and nothing else. Some tried to guess his last name, tossed around a few guesses in hopes of any of them seeming familiar. None did. In attempt to be humorous, albeit perhaps a touch insensitive, one suggested he be given the surname Netherfell, as if to insinuate he came from the nether realm. No one expected him to take a liking to it.
And so he lived his days as Dorian Netherfell. He made no genuine attempts to regain his lost memories.
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Dorian can be described as odd and a bit distant, off putting but well meaning and morbidly curious for all things- well, morbid. Though he isn’t a loner by choice, he isn’t entirely bothered by it either. Almost as if he were content to not really have a single true friend, just acquaintances who tolerated him. For reasons he can’t even remember, he finds he is rather wary around strangers and terribly mistrusting of adventurers. He admits there might be something hypocritical about it, given he could very well have been an adventurer himself prior his memory loss.
Before he was Dorian Netherfell, he was Dorian Nicolette. He was still off and a bit distant, a bit off putting but well meaning and still morbidly curious. The major difference is he was very, very lonely. So much so he clung to the two people who took pity on him. Those “friends” of his weren’t particularly genuine. Truly kind at first, albeit they treated him like a child at times, but that soon gave way to exhaustion, annoyance, contempt…
They ended up bringing him along their adventures, not out of want but no choice, and truly grew sick of him. Their adventures took them to the Shroud where rumors about the Palace of the Dead spoils and specters reached their ears. The two formulated a plan, it was perfect, they knew better than anyone Dorian would love to go to this place. So they will go and leave him for dead. No one would find him save for the beasts wandering the place.
What they did not expect was for it to back fire. The “friends” died down there, mauled by something much more sinister than the mind could conjure. Somehow, Dorian managed to get away, the price for a chance to live being his memories, likely due to trauma from the betrayal as well nearly dying. The hurt ran so deep that even with blotted memories it permeated through his entire body.
Don’t trust adventurers. Don’t trust people. The kindness of Lovette and company terrifies him. Makes him want to rip his skin off, make the itch go away… but being alone is boring, doing the same thing day in and out is boring and he’s terribly curious of what may come if he follows them around.
Soon as he can muster up the courage to leave the Shroud, leave the Palace of The Dead, leave the place he’s drawn to in ways he wishes he wasn’t… soon… he hopes.
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forestryfae · 1 year ago
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its like. i KNOW, on some level, that its kind of fucked up that dad and mom are like. not talking to me or reaching out and they never have ven when i was a kid, and i know on some level its pretty fucked up how little they care about me yet somehow want a say in EVERYTHING in my life
and its kinda fucked up that i asked my dad about a hypothetical scenario where i rent that really shitty apartment he has in the basement for a little while after finally getting rid of the house i currently live in. just so ill have somewhere to live until i find a better apartment somewhere. and somehow my brother gets 12k a month and only pays 4k ish but i make 18k a month so i should ay 10k in rent just cus
and somehow im just a trash heap so when i moved into the house i got a bunch of crap my parents just didnt want. my old stuff from when i was a kid?? okay thanks for the toys but can i ssell them or give some of them to my little sister? NO. what if my little sister comes to visit. they dont fucking visit me more than once a year at most and they only visit my neighbours or show up when im not around. baby pictures??? stuff i had when i was a baby like a toy and some shit drawings from when i was a kid???? WHY WOULD THEY GIVE ME THAT. its stuff that should be sentimentally important enough for dad to keep, not give to me cus theyd feel bad throwing it away or give to me cus it was taking up space. mom kept the big photoalbum books i had to go get from dads house before they sold it even tho it was all packed away and probably hadnt been in a bookshelf for a while and i didnt even get my own babypictures or the album even tho mom said i was gonna get it when i moved out some furniture and shit?? mom didnt wanna get rid of a fucking bench with drawers so he asked me if i wanted it?? i said okay but like if i try selling it is she gonna want it back? and she even tried buying an unopened box with a dresser in it (i dont have space for it anywhere. YET.) from me even tho i said i needed it. she couldve just asked where she got it or some shit, they literally still sell it at the store and you can order it online and dad and stepmom came with some mats and lamps for me "in case i needed some" so thats lying in the garage taking up space cus i dont have any use for them. they even gave me a fucking roomba even tho i didnt think itd help and i never used it and now they want it back cus they wanna give it to grandma. like i get the logic but why give it away if you want it back.
and like. most of my shit is secondhand from family. because the solution to all my problems is apparently not getting me the fuck out of that house, its Giving Me Things. i just got picked up from the psychiatrists office or i have a headache and feel awful or i almost had a panic attack, but dad cant drop me off at home or even at moms house cus that takes 10 minutes extra so instead i get a soda. cus that makes up for him just letting me have a headache or literally driving me aorund for 3 hours cus hes got "chores" (checking out used car dealerships for more cars he can buy so he can fix them cus his hobbies are so important he cant just put them aside and make sure were fed or have clothes, thats mom and grandmas job)
so instead of actually trying to help me or spend time with me they give me shit. i dont see people for literal months and im literally crying daily for hours in the middle of fucking winter and nobody even fucking talks to me but the best way to fix that?? give me a christmas tree and ornaments. give me some of their old decorations too. bail on me to stay home for new years eve but thats okay cus i got a christmas tree they bought for me cus that fixes everything i dont have a table and chairs to sit in the livingroom or kitchen and im almost having a mental breakdown cus i think THATS whats missing and having more furniture is going to fix the complete lack of any connection with other people cus if i have a big house and i have stting space people will actually bother visiting. so ofc dad gives me their old furniture from their cottage, theyve been meaning to get rid of it so they can replace it anyways. literally giving me their unwanted shit cus its easier. going to the thriftstore with me is too much work and i cant get to any of the more remote but cheap furniture stores but thats okay cus they dont care and for as long as they dont have to drive me or spend time with me all is well.
like it is no fuckin wonder im struggling to even save up money when i keep buying shit cus thats literally what always happens when im with family. we go on a daytrip somwhere to buy shit cus there no fucking connection there thats worth even trying to deal with, so the whole idea of an experience or bonding isnt really applicable. being a kid and hanging out with the paternal side of the family was literally always a shopping trip where we bought new clothes. cus dads cheap and didnt wanna spend his precious hobby money on clothes, he wants to fix cars for months then sell them for a couple extra hundreds, and my uncle and aunt and cousin only visited for weekends every now and then so it wasnt often either. but it was practically every time.
like even when im alone in the city or somewhere i wind up spending money on shit cus i just. dont have the self control and who gives a shit anyways its not like ill be able to ever save up for anything and atleast this way i get something i want besides just groceries or whatever. and maybe if i buy the right things ill have motivation to actually do shit like having hobbies or fixing my life and if i have the right aesthetic ill atleast feel less like all my shit is embarrassing and childish and i wont get tired of it as easily ig. but also like whats the fucking point of anything. it feels like im no allowed to get things i genuinely want or thhink would help and im not allowed to switch things out when theyre not working. im not allowed to get a new desk cus i have an old one i dont want and never use, i have a new one ive never used and thats driving me insane because of the size and how can i know it doesnt help or work or makes me wanna draw if i havent even tried it. so i already have stuff so im not allowe dt get new things or nicer things.
except a new desk would atleast let me clean my room properly and itd give me more space and maybe if i was allowed to do that id finally draw again us id have somewhere to put my art stuff and somewhere nice to sit. maybe itd make stuff easier and nicer for me?? is that not a good reason. especially considering everything else. im fuckign depressed, ive been for years and im only now starting to get a little better, i have a house i dont wanna fucking live in most of the time cus its just one big boring fucking chore and i cant even afford it. i cant even clean it properly or fix anything cus why bother, i dont wanna fucking be here i hate it here. it sucks and its lonely and its not even functional and nothing works and i cant even decide on a wallcolor without everyone else giving me their input whether i ask for it or not. i have 40k in an account and im not even allowed to look at it and i didnt even know i had it cus mom never fucking told me about it. i literally just wanna get rid of everything and start over and move somewhere and actually have a car and a job i enjoy that i actually get paid for and some mental stability so i can go to the job and get dishes and laudnry done without it being a fucking struggle every god damn time.
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luvyeni · 6 months ago
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genre smut 𖹭 warning hidden relationship, unprotected sex, getting caught, practice room sex— brotherbestfriend!jeongin x fem reader | back to library .
request. i need more jeongin smut reactions and smut fanfics and everything gosh I'm (s)creaming rnnnnnnnnn manning I'm dying please post again some jeongin smut I'm dying unnue pleaseeeeeeee 🫠🫠🫠🫠
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“what are you doing here?” your brother questioned as you walked through the door. “can i not visit my brother at practice?” you asked as he wrapped his arms around you in a hug. “because you never visit me even when i beg you to come watch me dance.”
“hyune , maybe i just missed my brother , you haven't been home to visit yet.” you said. “i know , i know im sorry.” he said. “i came all this way.” you said. “and i thank you for that.” he said. “me and lee know hyung were just gonna grab some food , you wanna wait here?” you nodded. “i won't be no more than 20-30 minutes.” you gave him a thumbs up— because if you were being honest , you weren't really here for your brother.
“jeongin might come back early , you know him , he's a good kid.” your brother said walking out the room. “real good kid.” lee know winked before leaving out , you smiled down at your phone.
a few minutes later, the door opened , making you look up at the boy who walked in. “how long?” he asked , closing the door, locking it , walking towards the couch you were sitting on. “30 minutes if lee know can keep him distracted.” the boy smiled , sitting on the couch , you straddled his lap. “fuck i missed you so much.” he kissed your neck. “i’m sick of hiding.” he said. “why do we have to jump through hoops to see each other?”
he nipped at your neck. “fu-fuck you explain it to him, his best friend and his sister fucking.” you moaned as his hips bucked up into you. “I'm not just fucking you , you're my girlfriend.” he groaned , you lifted your shirt. “that's not how he's gonna see it.” before he could say something you kissed him. “no more brother talk, we don't have a lot of time.”
you both don't waste anymore time , lifting yourself up, as he freed himself from his sweats , his hard cock slapping against his stomach. “fuck , sit on it.” you held his base , sinking yourself down on him , his cock filling you up, he sighed. “so fucking good.”
you stopped once he was fully seethed inside you; both of you moaning out. “fu-fuck you feel good baby.” he held your hips , helping you move back and forth. “missed your pretty pussy so much.” he groaned throwing his head back. “fu-fuck innie, so big.” you moaned as his hands came up to your boobs. “baby you gotta move faster if you wanna cum before they get back.”
both of you were moving against each other , he smirked licking his two fingers before reaching in between your bodies to your neglected clit. “oh fuck innie.” you moaned. “you gonna cum for me?” he cursed under his breath , ready to burst. “fu-fuck cum for me baby.” he kissed your lips as you came , fucking his hips into you. “sh-shit your so tight , i’m gonna cum.” he grunted. “fuck im cumming!” he moaned , feeling his cum coating your walls. “shit.”
“fuck you need to visit me more often.” he said. “you live in seoul.” he cradled your face. “I miss seeing your face.” he kissed you , his cock still inside you , twitching. “see how much I need you and your pretty pussy.” you moaned. “we-we still have 10 minutes.” he smirked , squeezing your boob. “gonna fuck more of my cum inside you.”
“we're back!” your brother shouted , opening the door. “we bought food.” he said. “innie you're back? she didn't annoy you did she?” you rolled your eyes. “no she good.” your brother didn't notice as he sat out the food , but lee know , he wasn't dumb , noticing the hickey on your boyfriend's neck, smirking with a scoff.
“i bet she was.”
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©️LUVYENI
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bookwyrminspiration · 2 years ago
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what calms you down?
what’s something you’re excited for?
say three nice things about yourself (three physical and three non-physical).
what song makes you feel better?
what’s your feel-good movie?
what’s your favorite candle scent?
what flower would you like to be given?
1) box breathing is my go to when I'm anxious. really any rhythmic breathing works best for me, but I don't feel like keeping track of multiple numbers so everything being 4 is great :) 2) I'm excited to go to the bookstore today! It's independent bookstore day today, so they're having an event with raffles and sales and my family is going! I think this is the 3rd weekend in a row we've gone to the bookstore 3) Physical: I love what I've done with my hair, how my boobs look in low cut tops, and the character my skin-picking scars/scabs/marks give me. Non-physical: I love how much I care for other people and try to positively impact them, how much I enjoy learning and strive to continue to learn, and the effort I've put in and continue to put in to be a better person. 4) Depends! I rotate through songs a lot, so at any given point in time I'm listening to a different one on repeat. For example, the Plastic Doll remix by Lady Gaga, Ashnikko, and Oscar Scheller has been on loop for a while. But a couple that've pretty routinely stuck around are: Superkid by Livingston, Cosmic Love by Florence + the Machine, and Mouthwash by OSTON (along with others) 5) Answered this one here! It's Pan's Labyrinth, but another movie I like is A Monster Calls. 6) I'm not sure, I don't use a lot of candles. There was this one Honey Pear scented one I found once that was pretty nice, and of the common scents I like the cinnamon/apple/spice ones. But I don't have strong opinions on it--except that Sandalwood isn't my favorite. Unfortunately it's my mom's favorite scent and she loves buying sandalwood incense 7) I don't have a specific flower in mind, but when being given flowers, I prefer them to be potted. I don't like being given cut flowers because they just die. But potted plants? 10/10, even though I'm not the most plant savvy person
That was many questions, but very fun to answer, so thanks!
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sceletaflores · 7 months ago
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where there’s sparks, there’s fire!
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pairing: patrick zweig x fem!reader
summary: you can’t tell if patrick hates you as much as you hate him. every time you see him he’s constantly talking to you, touching you, trailing behind you. but he’s only doing all that to piss you off. you think back to tashi telling you it’s obvious that he wants to fuck you. you don’t see it. patrick wants to fuck everyone, you’re not special.
—or: patrick zweig is a slut. you can't stand him.
word count: 4.6k
contains: 18+ SMUT MDNI, p in v, rough sex, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it y’all!), public sex (doing it in a coat closet lmao), more hate sex, swearing, fighting as foreplay, light choking, light hair pulling, degradation, even more hints of mean!reader cause i really do live for that shit, tashi and reader are cute besties always, porn with a little plot, no use of y/n.
author’s note: i originally wanted to post a tashi fic next but i realized i don't have any like actual full on plot filled patrick works lmao i felt bad neglecting him and my patrick girlies so yeah. once again had literally so much fun writing this, like i hardcore love this niche!!! i ride so hard for it!!! the tashi fic i'm working on also falls into this category lols and yes this is fourth of july themed and it's late shut up i cannot write fast for the life of me...anyway! to the anons who requested something like this, hope you love it! okay bye mwah xoxo.
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Patrick Zweig is a huge slut.
Everyone knows that. He doesn't even go to Stanford but he's still somehow managed to sleep with a third of the girls on campus, maybe even more than a few guys too if the rumors going around are true.
You hate him. Hate isn't even a strong enough word. You loathe him. You despise him. You detest him. Pick any other fancy synonym, the point still stands. You just really fucking hate him.
It blows your mind that someone as sweet and angelic as Art would be best friends with someone like him. Someone who's so obnoxious, so arrogant, so crass. Art’s the guy that goes out of his way to protect you from the gross frat bros at parties, only to bring his very own as a plus one.
Sigma Nu throws a rager every year on the fourth, extending invites to those who are still in Stanford for the summer. The women’s tennis team is always invited, and Tashi always ends up convincing you to go. Well, she’s less convincing than she is more forcing you, but it’s basically the same thing to her anyway. She did your makeup and wrestled you into a Hollister dress, vowing to get you laid as she straightened your hair.
Tashi’s almost more invested in your sex life than you are, constantly hand-picking guys on campus for your consideration. She actually offered up Patrick once when you told her you wouldn’t fuck any of the guys on campus at all. The two of you were practicing, she suggested it as casual as ever while returning your serve. You were so shocked you stopped in your tracks, letting the ball fly right past you. She assured you she wouldn’t mind if you did, that what the two of them had was quote “Nothing serious, he’s just a really good fuck.” and that you should “Totally do it. He definitely wants to fuck you, I can tell.” 
You just brushed her off, ignored the way she smirked knowingly at you over the net. Your cheeks burned as you served again, you wrote it off as annoyance. As if you would ever let Patrick Zweig fuck you.
You lost Tashi when she took off to the bathroom, texting you that she’d be a while thanks to a long line outside the door. You were leaning against a wall nursing a half-empty cup of jungle juice when he came up to you. You can’t remember his name, you think it starts with a B. Something like Brandon? Or maybe Brian? One or the other.
He’s Sigma Nu’s secretary, you sit three seats down from him in your economics lecture. Tashi says he has a crush on you, and he’s nice for a frat guy but he’s definitely not your type. He’s been droning on about his upcoming trip to his family's summer house in Cabo for almost ten minutes. You try your best to seem interested, humming and nodding every couple seconds. You’re in the middle of tuning him out when a loud, familiar voice calls out your name. 
“There you are!” Patrick Zweig shouts from a few feet away, ugly American flag patterned flip flops smacking against the ground as he makes his way over to you. He’s wearing a bright red button down and white cargo shorts you scrunch your nose up at. He’s tanner than the last time you saw him, legs long and even more toned. “I’ve been looking everywhere for that pretty face.” He coos sweetly, his hand that isn't holding a bottle of Bud Light comes up to pinch your cheek.
You scoff, smacking his hand off your face. “You found me, so you can go bother someone else now,” you say, rubbing your cheek lightly. “Bye.” You press, waving your hand dismissively when he makes no move to walk away.
Patrick grins, unfazed by your reaction, he steps in even closer. “Yeah, I missed you too,” he says breezily, his breath smells like cheap beer and camel blues. He’s just as tall as you remember. He has tacky blue shutter shades resting on the top of his head. His eyes rake over your body shamelessly, lingering on the low dip of your neckline. “Cute dress.” 
You ignore him, rolling your eyes before turning your attention back towards Brandon/Brian. He’s silent now, eyes flicking between you and Patrick skeptically. “Are you like, together, or something?” 
You laugh loudly, quickly shaking your head ‘No’. Patrick beats you to speaking though, “God no, man.” he says through a laugh, dark curls bouncing as he shakes his head. “I came over here to warn you.” He continues, voice and expression going overly serious like he’s not talking out of his ass.
Brandon/Brian’s brows furrow, clearly confused. “Warn me?” he asks, head tilting to the left slightly. His puka shell necklace makes a small clicking sound as he moves. 
Patrick nods his head gravely, clapping his free hand down on Brandon/Brian's shoulder a little too roughly to be considered friendly, shaking him back and forth like a rag doll. “Yeah, best of luck trying to get inside that snatch, man.” he says earnestly, jerking his head in your direction. “Cause’ she’s really fucking picky–”
You whip your head in his direction to cut him off, grimacing in disgust. “You would say snatch, you sick fuck.” you snap, red solo cup crunching quietly in your hand. Patrick just laughs, dropping his hand from Brandon/Brian’s shoulder. Anger stews inside you the longer he looks at you with that stupid shit-eating smirk on his face. 
You can’t tell if Patrick hates you as much as you hate him. Every time you see him he’s constantly talking to you, touching you, trailing behind you. But he’s only doing all that to piss you off. You think back to Tashi telling you it’s obvious that he wants to fuck you. You don’t see it.
Patrick wants to fuck everyone, you’re not special. Sure, he may feel the constant need to be a horn-dog when he’s around you. That doesn’t mean anything. Patrick’s just gross, constantly making crude comments or lame innuendos. What Tashi fails to see is him making sex jokes around you is just another way he can piss you off. It’s not an open invitation into those god-awful shorts. 
Patrick takes a small step back, big hands raising in mock surrender. “Alright, alright. Put the claws away,” You try to ignore the way him saying your name in that goddamn infuriating condescending tone makes your cheeks start heating up. Patrick leans his shoulder on the wall next to you, looking down at you with a small grin on his face. “I actually wanted to congratulate you on cracking the top twenty.” He takes a long sip of his beer, head lolling to the side lazily as he swallows. “Lucky number 14.”
You’re not too proud to admit that Patrick is kind of hot, especially in this lighting. He’s objectively a hot guy, and he knows it. All tall and firm looking even in his horrendous outfit. But he’s kind of cute too, in an ass-holey way. His hair's a mess of soft-looking black curls and his ears stick out from his head sort of endearingly. He’s close enough that you can see he’s got a little brown in his eyes, and long lashes. There’s a handful of freckles sprinkled over the bridge of his nose. 
His big, strong nose that looks like it could work wonders between your legs. Or at least that’s what you’ve heard from Jen in your chem lab. Maybe this jungle juice is stronger than you thought.
Patrick's smirk widens, wolfish and dirty like he can see what you’re thinking. “That’s pretty impressive.” he continues, his tone a mix of genuine admiration and teasing. "Especially for someone who's always so...busy." He lets the last word hang in the air, a clear innuendo that makes your blood boil all over again.
"Busy training," you snap back, not willing to let him get under your skin any more than he already has. "Some of us have actual work ethic, Patrick. We put in the hours on the court instead of fucking anything that breathes, you know? So we don’t look like idiots that get their ass handed to them on tour by nobody scrubs."
You can feel the heat start to simmer in your stomach, anger and frustration bubbling beneath the surface as Patrick's presence continues to grate on your nerves. The tension between you is thick, amplified by the chaotic energy of the party swirling around you. You see Brandon/Brian take a long, awkward sip of his beer as he steps away, turning on his heel to quickly disappear into the sea of bodies crowding the living room. You roll your eyes internally, pussy.
Patrick grins, not deterred in the slightest. “You’ve been keeping up with my matches?” His voice is low and pleased sounding, shiny green eyes slowly getting swallowed by the black of his pupils. 
You pause, owlishly blinking up at him in silence. You’ve been caught. Shit.
You can feel the immediate warmth of embarrassment burning hot on your cheeks as you cast your gaze to the floor. “Only when I need to cheer myself up, a losing streak that high is actually laughable.” You mutter to the floor, lightly swirling your drink in your cup. 
Patrick laughs loudly, throwing his head back in amusement. “Still thinking about me though.” he says matter-of-factly, a lazy grin taking over his face.
His audacity sends another wave of anger and embarrassment through you, your grip tightens around your cup. "Only because you make such a spectacle of yourself," you retort sharply. "It's hard not to notice when you're crashing and burning so publicly."
Patrick's grin doesn't falter. If anything, it widens. "I'll take what I can get from you," he says, his tone a blend of amusement and something else that you can't place. "But seriously, congratulations. You deserve it."
His unexpected sincerity throws you off, and for a moment, you don’t know how to respond. It's rare to see Patrick in a light that isn’t coated in sarcasm or sleaze. You catch a glimpse of something genuine in his expression, something that almost resembles respect, and it confuses you.
It confuses you, and it makes something warm start to burn in your stomach. You can’t afford to feel any warm, fuzzy feelings around a guy like Patrick, not if you don’t want to get majorly fucked over the second he gets bored of you. 
You don’t know how to react so you do what makes sense, you lash out.
“God, will you just fuck off and leave me alone Patrick,” you say, tone over-dramatic and long-suffering as you tip your head up to the ceiling in annoyance. “I’m trying to have fun.” A lie. The party kind of sucked compared to last years. You were planning on talking Tashi into leaving when she came back, but he didn’t need to know that.
Patrick’s cool exterior finally cracks, letting out a quiet huff of disbelief as a frown starts tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Jesus Christ, what the hell is your fucking problem? I’m being sincere.” The playful light in his eyes is gone, replaced by something darker.
You let out a loud laugh, shaking your head in amusement. “Maybe I’d believe that if you weren’t such an ass. I know you too well, Patrick.” You say, tone mean and condescending. You know he’s right, on some level, but that doesn’t stop you. 
Patrick is silent for a beat, eyes boring into yours with an intensity that makes you want to start squirming. He lets out a quiet, bitter laugh, bringing his beer up to his lips to take a long sip. You watch the way his throat moves as he swallows, the way his lips look wrapped around the neck of the bottle. You feel a familiar heat start to pool between your legs, thighs clenching involuntarily as your mind envisions something else his slick, pink lips would look good wrapped around. 
He drops the bottle to his side, finally breaking the silence. “You know, now I do believe you.” he says casually, swiping his tongue over his lips lazily. “You must really not be getting any dick acting like this much of an uptight bitch.”
You reel back in shock, his words hitting you like a punch in the gut. The wave of fury that sweeps through you is almost tangible, your vision narrowing to a tunnel that begins and ends with Patrick’s infuriatingly smug face. “What did you just say?” you ask completely taken aback, voice low and rough. Your hand twitches at your side with the need to throw your drink in his face, anger and embarrassment lapping white hot flames in your stomach. 
Patrick just scoffs, heated gaze not breaking from your own. “You heard me.” He says, jaw set stubbornly. “You need like, emergency dick, or something to chill the fuck out for once.” 
You feel your heart rate spike, your free hand clenching into a tight wrist by your side. “You’re a fucking pig.” your voice shakes with anger, you feel sweaty and hot all over. The heat swirling between your legs is persistent.
Patrick laughs, a loud and infuriating sound. “Come on, we both know you’re fucking begging for someone to give you what you need.” He says like it’s obvious, you clench your fist a little tighter. He takes a step closer, voice dropping down to a whisper meant just for you. “I can help you with that. I can fuck all that bratty shit right out of yo–”
You’re reacting before you can stop yourself, hand flying up to slap him hard across the face. The loud crack pierces through the room, loud enough that a few eyes turn in your direction. Patrick's head snaps to the side, the shades resting on the top of his head fly off. 
Your heart stops, hands shaking with the realization of what you just did. You expect Patrick to flip out, start shouting and threatening to sue you or whatever else it is that rich people do. Time seems to slow down as he turns his head, and when he looks back at you, there's no trace of anger in his eyes. Instead, they're dark with something else entirely— something that makes your stomach flip.
He licks his lips, a slow, deliberate motion, and then he laughs, a low, throaty sound that sends shivers down your spine. A clear hand print grows steadily, red and angry on his cheek. "Fuck." he breathes, his hazy eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that makes your breath catch in your throat. 
You’re stuck staring at each other for what feels like hours, the music and chatter from the party reduced down to a low hum as you’re caught under Patrick’s heavy gaze.
He drops his beer bottle on the floor carelessly, hand shooting out to grab your wrist tightly and drag you away from the living room. Your cup falls from your grip, splashing down onto the hardwood in a red sticky mess. You fall into step behind him, letting him guide you into the hallway outside the living room before he lurches to a stop in front of a closed door, ripping it open and shoving you inside. Patrick follows quickly, closing the door behind him and bathing the coat closet in darkness. 
It’s a tiny closet, you’re pressed up against too many coats fighting for space on the tiny rack, kicking loose shoes around as you try to find your footing. “Patrick, I–” You start, but you're cut off by a strong hand gripping your forearm and whipping you around. Your back hits the door with a dull thud, you don’t have any time to react before his lips are on yours.
The kiss is the opposite of gentle, Patrick’s lips are almost violent as they move with yours. Your hands tangle in his soft hair, kissing back just as roughly. He hisses into your mouth as you twist the strands in your grip meanly, pressing you into the door harder. His tongue forces its way past your parted lips, claiming your mouth fiercely. He tastes like beer, his fingertips are rough and calloused on your skin, pulling you closer as if he wants to meld into you.
“If you don’t want this, say the word and I’ll stop right now.” He says against your lips, breathless and rumbly. His hands squeeze your hips reassuringly, his own version of sincerity softening the moment.
Yeah fucking right.
“Zweig,” you say slowly, yanking his hair roughly. “If you don’t shut up and fuck me in the next ten seconds, I’ll kill you.”
Patrick grins wildly, surging forward to connect your lips again. Your hands find the buttons of his shirt as the two of you kiss, working them open one by one until you get too frustrated and rip the two half-open sides apart. Buttons clatter onto the floor of the closet, Patrick groans into your mouth, breaking the kiss with a huff. “I liked that shirt, dick. You owe me twenty bucks.”
You’re not listening, eyes trained on the bare skin of his chest as everything seems to slow down for a second. Of course, you’ve seen Patrick shirtless before, when he’s on the court and it’s above ninety or when he’s taking up space in Art’s dorm. This feels different, a completely new situation where it’s actually okay for you to stare at the expanse of his torso. 
You can’t help reaching out to touch him again— running your greedy hands down his chest, his abs, the sharp ‘v’ cut of his hips that makes its way into the waistband of his shorts. Your manicured nails scratch through the dark hair of his happy trail, you can see the muscles in his stomach jump.
“Fuck,” you whisper breathlessly and immediately regret it. He was already insufferable— all you fucking needed was for him to know how you felt right now. How the sight of his barely undressed body is making your pussy soak through your panties.
Patrick doesn’t even gloat, just uses his tight grip on your hips to flip you so you’re pressing onto the door harshly. He impatiently yanks the skirt of your dress up, wasting no time in hooking a finger on the lace of your panties and moving the fabric to the side for easier access.
You hear him pop the button of his shorts open, his zipper following close behind. “You have no idea how long I’ve waited for this.” He says, sliding the thick tip of his cock through your slick lips, brushing himself against your entrance teasingly. “I’m gonna make you think twice about bitching me out ever again.” He seals his promise by grabbing your hair and yanking, causing a surprised whine to fall from your lips. His voice is so patronizing, but you aren’t getting mad like you should be. You’re just getting wetter, getting desperate with the need for him to get inside you right fucking now.
You grit your teeth in frustration, exhaling sharply through your nose. “I hate you.” You hiss, grinding back against his hard cock. You gasp raggedly as he starts to sink himself inside you, not stopping until his hips are flush against your ass. “Shit!” Your hands grip the door so hard you’re scared one of your nails will break. The stretch of him burns in the best way possible. You’d never say it out loud, not wanting to inflate his ego anymore than you probably already have, but he’s definitely the biggest cock you’ve taken. Almost porn-star big.
“I know.” He replies easily, hiking your thigh up with his hand as his hips start to pound mercilessly into the meat of your ass, not even giving you time to get used to the thick stretch of him. The loud smack of skin on skin fills the tiny closet easily, you hope to God the amount of clothes shoved in here somehow muffles the sound. The rough denim of his shorts scratches against your raw skin, adding to the sting of his hips.
Patrick was pounding into you in a way that makes you feel every inch of him. His cock felt impossibly big, filling you up like he was carving a place for himself inside of you. The sting in your pussy at the stretch of him is mind-numbing, you think you’d collapse from how hard your thighs were shaking if he wasn’t practically holding you up.
His big hand grips the sensitive skin of your inner thigh hard enough that it’ll probably be bruised by tomorrow. You distantly hope he’s high up enough that your tennis skirt will cover it, because if not it’ll be a hard thing to talk your way out of.
You throw your head back, a strained moan erupting from your lips. Your nails scratch at the paint on the door's edges, raking small lines down the wall. The loud squelch of your pussy’s overflowing wetness every time he sinks back inside you would be embarrassing if you had the mental capacity to care.
“Fuck yeah, keep making those slutty sounds, baby. Want the whole fucking party to hear how good I’m making you feel on this cock,” he mutters, hiking your leg up higher so he can pound into you deeper.
He drops your thigh, sliding his hand up your body and around your throat. You whine loudly, pushing back into his thrusts harder. Guys have tried the choking thing in the past, but Patrick’s hand is the only one that’s felt right. His long fingers curling around your throat like they belong there.
“Shit, fuck- don’t stop.” you mewl, lips parted in ecstasy. His hand squeezes a little tighter, not enough to cut off your breathing, just enough to get your eyes rolling back into your head as your pussy weeps around the thick length of his cock.
“That’s it, taking my fucking cock like you were made for it,” Patrick grates through a groan, gripping your hips and pulling out from your tight hole to spit on where his cock bumps up against your entrance before plunging back in.  You jolt at the extra wetness, whining at how dirty it is. “So fucking tight— does it hurt, baby?” he asks in a barely breathless voice, laughter edging his tone. “Is my fat cock hurting your tight little pussy?”
“God– shit, yes!” you sob loudly, cheek rubbing against the wood of the door as you nod your head frantically. “Hurts so fucking good.” You stop caring about inflating his ego, letting moans fall freely from your lips as you get closer to the edge.
“Fuck yeah, I’m gonna come,” he grunts, his rhythm growing sloppy and erratic as his muscles tense. He wraps your hair in his other hand, pulling hard enough to make your neck crane back awkwardly. He leans forward, lips brushing against the shell of your ear. “I can feel you, fucking clenching up on me so tight,” he whispers, still pounding into you roughly. “I know you’re close. Do it. Come all over my cock like a slut.”
Patrick's hand tightens around your throat as he talks, cutting off your air for just a second. “Patrick!” Your voice sounds weak and strained, your hand coming up to wrap around his wrist desperately.
He pulls out abruptly, dropping your hair from his fist to frantically jerk his cock, burying his face in your neck. You can hear the lewd shlick shlick shlick of your wetness help his hand glide over the skin of his cock quickly. Patrick lets out a loud growl before you feel the sharp bite of his teeth sinking in where your shoulder meets your neck, muffling a loud groan of your name as he sprays hot come over the skin of your lower back and the swell of your ass. 
The feeling of Patrick’s hand wrapped around your throat as his come paints your skin has you catapulting over the edge. Eyes rolling back in your head as your convulsing pussy gushes wet over his spent cock. 
You drag in greedy lungfuls of air, chest heaving as you try to catch your breath. “You came first.” You say breathlessly, voice scratchy and hushed. Patrick chuckles against your skin, swatting the tender flesh of your ass lightly. 
“Shut the fuck up.” He mutters half-heartedly, nuzzling his nose in your neck in a way that seems far too intimate for what the two of you just did. You don’t say anything.
Patrick eventually peels himself off your back, but the warmth of his body stays wrapped around you as he starts to gently wipe your skin clean. You’re ready to scold him for using some poor guy's coat as a come-rag, but when you turn your head to glare at him he’s using the inside of his own shirt. You wrinkle your nose, but a tiny smile fights its way onto your lips. So gross, you think with a sort of reluctant fondness.
He leans over to fix your panties back over your puffy, abused pussy. Your thighs continue to shake weakly as you try to stand on your own, still unsteady without Patrick holding you up. He gives you a sweet kiss on the back of your shoulder, smacking his lips loudly. You huff out a tiny laugh, pushing away from the door to face him.
You watch him as he languidly gets re-dressed. He looks well-fucked, his hair and clothes are mess, his face is flushed and sweaty. Your eyes trail down to where he’s buttoning up his atrocious shorts. 
The fabric around the crotch is darkened with your release, wetness soaking the denim around the zipper and front pockets. You gawk at it, a mix of terror and excitement swirling through your stomach. “You can’t go back out like that.” you say to his shorts, shame burning your cheeks. 
Patrick follows your gaze down to his crotch. A pleased smirk plays on his lips when he looks back at you. “I’ll text you later.” Is all he says, zipping his fly and turning towards the door. 
“You don’t have my number.” You say, tugging the skirt of your dress down over your hips. You can slowly feel the horny fog leave your brain, leaving you clear-minded and a little panicked.
He cracks the door open, but before walking out of the closet he looks back at you over his shoulder. “Art’ll give me your number. “ He says casually with a small shrug of his shoulder. You suddenly feel sick, wondering how many other people have heard that line before getting completely ghosted. 
Patrick must see the negative thoughts running through your mind play out on your face. He gives you an actual smile, one that has his eyes crinkling up the tiniest bit at the corners. “Promise.” He says with a reassuring nod, it’s the most sincere you’ve ever seen him. You bite your lip to stop from smiling at the hope blooming in your stomach, nodding back at him slowly. He throws you one last toothy grin before he’s walking out and closing the door behind him.
You sigh contently, staring at the closed door for a few beats before your phone buzzes to life from where it's laying on the floor. You bend over to search for it, blindly rooting around until you see the tiny display light. The ringing stops before you can answer, when you flip the screen up to check your inbox you have seven missed texts and two missed calls.
Four texts and two calls from Art, and just three texts from Tashi.
arty where are you? i’ve been looking for you are you okay? hello???
tash you know you're not invisible right? everyone saw your little show have fun <3
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tags are now in the comments! if you want to get tagged for any of my works just fill out this form!
mini a/n: yes i did change the title leave me lmao love you!
1K notes · View notes
depresssant · 3 months ago
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Shades of Cool
NEGLECTFUL!PLATONIC!YAN!batfam x GN!reader
synopsis : growing up with a shit mom and constant step-dads and mom's boyfriends, your view on life has grown pretty bleak. you just want to die, since it doesn't seem to get better than this. things can't get any worse, can they?
wsp guys. it's been pretty long, huh?... OK IM SORRY FOR NOT POSTING IT QUICKLY. here, damn 🙄. anyways, i hope yall enjoy n im glad u guys liked the first chapter. lets just hope this one lives up to yalls expectations 😭. follow me and repost this if u want a chapter three. also I NEED SOMEONE TO EDUCATE ME ABOUT SUNDAY FROM HSR BC I WANNA WRITE FICS ABOUT HIM SO BAD SO PLS SOMEONE EDUCATE ME N ALSO IF U KNOW LOVE AND DEEP SPACE??? PLS HIT ME UP AND EXPLAIN THIS LORE BC I WANNA WRITE YANDERE FICS FOR THEM SO BAD
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“Why are balls called balls when testicles sounds hella fancier?”
At your friend’s bizarre question, the face of your other friend, Zarian, twinges in disgust. “Jayelene… why do you feel the need to put that out there?”
You huff in amusement, focusing on your pizza before what Jaylene says ruins your entire mood.
“I’m just saying! Testicles just seems more appropriate⏤the type of fancy shit drake and his family would say.”
Tim Drake Wayne…
Dinner with him and his freak-a-zoid family was like trying to make it past no-man’s land without any help to shield you from the straight up chilling vibes they gave off with their constant comments about bat facts. Bats. The atmosphere during the entire time you spent there was dreadful and quite literally heavy since Tim's youngest little brother wanted to sneak stares at you as if you wouldn’t notice his bug-looking eyes creeping into your soul.
Rich people really are weird, huh?
The Wayne family is nothing like how you expected them to be. They’re supposed to be cold, mysterious, and irresistibly enchanting, but all you’ve got are creepy vibes and a strong urge to stay away from them as much as possible. From the way Mr. Wayne made that weird comment about your father in the limo to how forcibly happy Richard or “Dick” was with you, you’ve come to an understanding that rich people are complete lunatics.
The Wayne family is full of a bunch of lunatics.
And you’re not afraid to voice that.
“There you go again,” Jaylene sighs when she notices the irritated expression on your face. “It’s never that serious, [Name]. You just hate everyone.”
“No, you don't get it! They were creepy as hell! Like… Like bats in dark caves coming at you all at once. They talk funny, they look funny⏤they act funny! What normal man name drops your mother’s name after knowing each other for about thirty minutes?”
Zarian huffs in amusement. “That’s the creepy part. How does Mr. Wayne know your name?”
“I dont know.” You run your fingers through your hair and lean back against the booth seat. “I don't want anything to do with them. Billionaire or not, how the hell does he know my mother’s name.”
It was perhaps towards the end of your stay at the Wayne’s manor for dinner, and you knew you had to go home, so you had largely hinted at leaving to Drake. Everything had gotten wrapped up, but when you were just about to leave, Mr. Wayne had told you, “make sure to tell [M/n] I said hi.”
You could only stare at him in shock as your body carried along, because how does a man as famous and wealthy as bruce wayne know your mother⏤your mother? He’s the chief executive officer of Wayne Enterprises yet mentions your mother?
That moment alone is enough to wave every red flag in your brain that screams at you, telling you something is up with these shady people. The only question is what? What can a billionaire possibly want from you? Out of everything the world has to offer, the most influential billionaire in America wants to target some meager high school kid?
What do these people want from you? Is it a rich people thing to play around with those below you? Well, you guess it probably is. Like, is Mr. Wayne gonna pop out with his soulless eyes and say, ‘you’re my long lost child?’ or something?
You still don’t know why you’re being a goat stuffed before slaughtering. These people want something from you, but you? You’ve got nothing to offer that they could want. Why the hell do they even bother? If there's one thing you really hate, it’s being left in the dark like this. Not knowing is terrifying. It's dangerous. Not knowing means not being prepared, and if you’re not prepared, you won’t make it out. Damn it, you should’ve booked it the moment Mr. Wayne mentioned your father in the limo. Movies and shows always display rich people as eccentric and psychopathic weirdos, and now you’re finally believing it.
Damn it.
You’re in danger. Okay.
Maybe that’s an exaggeration. But maybe it’s not.
You’ve watched enough true crime and have enough intuition and trust in your gut to know when something is wrong.
It’s not adding up.
You’re not dumb. You see all the warnings there, but what if you're exaggerating. What if this is just the nature of the Waynes, and you think you’re special enough to be noticed by them? Mr. Wayne is a damn billionaire! He’s got the money to do whatever he wants, so it’s only natural for him to do a background check on everybody that interacts with his sons, right?
It’s all in your head… It’s all in your head.
Sighing, you stare at the plate of food in front of you, appetite long gone. Still, you grab a fork and continue to eat as Zarian and Jaylene scream back and forth next to you. Drake, who had accompanied the three of you to the diner after practice, has left, thankfully. He left as soon as his food arrived while talking about some family emergency, and honestly, you’re pretty damn grateful for that.
Ever since dinner at his house, he’s surrounded you like a pillow smothering you, and you can’t do anything about it. He’s a billionaire’s son, for fuck’s sake.
It doesn’t take long for you and your friends to finish up, and you all part ways at the door of the diner before you clutch the straps of your backpack and walk around the city endlessly. This is a habit for you now⏤a way to put off going home as much as possible ever since you found out your mother’s boyfriend doesn’t come home until one or two in the morning.
That balding, ugly, sleazy piece of shit.
He’s as gross as every other man your mother’s brought home under the terribly veiled illusion that he’ll provide her a good life and treat her right. No matter how many times you try to tell that blind bitc… No. It's wrong. It’s not your mother’s fault.
But it sometimes feels like that, though.
Most mother’s destroy their own lives for their children, yet yours cannot even think about leaving the man that beats her child on a daily. Those types of mothers leave their spouses the second they see something wrong, while your mother treats those finger-print bruises around your neck like a necklace instead of abuse.
You’ve given up on her. You gave up on her back when you were eleven years old locked in a room with her boyfriend, and she didn’t listen. Or when you were twelve. Or thirteen. Or fourteen. Or fifteen. Or sixteen. Or seventeen. And now eighteen.
And each day feels like a repetition of the same. Wake up, go to school, practice, walk around, go home, get beat, and sleep like none of it all happens. It’s a routine you despise with every fiber of your being⏤makes you wanna jump over Gotham City Bridge before thinking about returning home because who would want to? Who wants this average life?
A life where you’re not happy enough, not sad enough. Not good enough, not bad enough. Not energized enough, not tired enough. You feel like a survivor of a plane crash floating on a raft at the center of the endless ocean with no way out. Everything just seems so vast, wide, and unreachable. How can you find the shore on a simple raft? How can you find a way out of inescapable misery if it’s not by drowning?
You’ve been waiting to find the shore, but it’s been a whole eighteen years since you’ve found yourself floating along the ocean.
That whole “it’ll get better” shit is a tragic lie.
Whatever.
It doesn’t matter⏤not anymore, at least. You’re going to get far away from this place and never look back. Never have to relieve this wretched city. Never have to be confined by chains again. You’ve only a few months left before you’re free.
Until then, you’ll have to be patient and go home because the sun has fully disappeared.
Nothing but satellites twinkle in the disgustingly polluted sky of Gotham City, and the streets have come to a staggering halt as you stroll about the sidewalks, trying to find the longest path to get home. One in the morning is always the perfect time in Gotham because it’s too late and too early to be outside, so it’s generally safe for a walk.
Of course, the universe likes to prove you wrong at every point.
The sound of a thud followed by a pained groan behind you has your legs locked and ready to run with your brain screaming alerts, but you take a deep breath and turn around. How bad can it get, anyways? The sight before you surprised you nonetheless. It’s… Nightwing, a Bludhaven hero, here in Gotham, just randomly popping up behind you?
With clear bleeding cuts and sprouting bruises across his body.
In the random alley you just happen to be in?
No. You’re looking into it too much.
His eyes lock onto and they make you freeze right then and there like he’s cast some spell upon you. But that’s for a cold, brief second before you’re hooking your thumbs under the straps of your backpacks and turning around hot on your heels, refusing to spare him a single second. 
You even hear him murmur a strained, “wait,” but you don't care. 
It’s rude, mean, cruel, and it’s also none of your business. All you simply do is walk ahead to your approaching doom with an pit of unease and bitter understanding of your helplessness in your stomach. You can already feel the soon-to-be new bruises blooming along your back.
You’re not a good person.
But, really, who is?
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Smoking really does skill.
But now you know why people do it.
Each drag is more out of necessity than it is a choice ever since you’ve met your friend’s plug at the dumb age of sixteen, but it's a way to dull the harsh truth of reality. The world just fades into nothing but muted and mixed colors like the loud city underneath your balcony it blurs into a faint hum the longer you stare at the spiral puffs of smoke that disappear into the air. 
Everything’s bitter⏤the joint and you.
Really bitter at the blood semi-dried on your face and the dull ache along your back.
You’ve got about an hour and a half until you have to head out to school, so what other way is there to spend it than smoking away your brain? The joint’s a temporary escape, but it helps you stall whatever new feeling of despair you’ll feel for the day. Until you’re interrupted by your phone buzzing⏤the sound still a dull hum in your ears
“... Hello?”
“[Name]!”
Zarian’s voice?
“Where the hell are you? Hurry up and get to school or else you’re gonna get in trouble for not helping to set up the club fair, and coach will be on our ass! And don't forget to bring money for the tickets!”
Coach?... Club fair?... Club fair! Holy shit!
Your eyes shoot open, and you frantically scramble up, tossing the joint over the balcony railing before hectically staggering through the living room like a drunk man. Damn it, how could you be so clueless and forget such an important event? Especially one you need money for! Damn it⏤damnit! What do you do?
… Mom! She’s got a box of money somewhere in her closet, right? You’ve seen it before! It's just twenty dollars, and she wont notice. Okay… Okay. You’re quick to get ready. You wash away all the blood that’s dried on your face, brush your teeth, and change into baggy jeans and a clean shirt before storming into your mother’s bedroom and rummaging through her things. 
She’s off at work. Her bastard boyfriend doesn't come home until late at night, which means he’s probably already taken money for the day. Okay. That's fine. They won't notice.
But you can't find anything! What the hell? Where is that fucking box? You could’ve sworn it was there on the top shelf last night, but as you swipe your hands across everything on the shelf, you can’t find it. All of a sudden, something made of wood hits the top of your head and falls to the ground with a crack. You hiss, palm moving to cover where you got hit, but your eyes land on the box that now has money strewn all across the floor and a broken… false bottom?
What the fuck.
You pull away at the rest of the false bottom to only be met with countless photos of you as a child with your mother. Mom’s shit boyfriend had all the family photos taken down for some weird reason, so they’ve been here this entire time? All of these photos are full of you throughout every stage of your life, but some have different people in them as well. Their faces are either scratched out or they’re ripped out of the photo entirely.
From what you can gather, the figures are a man and what seems to be a teenage boy. The absurdity and even slight creepiness of the scratched out faces has you laughing, yet even with your now dulled senses, your eyes land on a photo you failed to notice earlier. Maybe you’re hallucinating. There must be something wrong with your brain. Or your eyes. The universe must be playing with you because is that a photo of you and a teenage-looking dick grayson?
Your eyes widen because it looks just like the strange man you had the unfortunate opportunity of having a conversation with during dinner with the Waynes. It’s him! More importantly, why the hell is he holding a ‘three year old’ you’s hand? You probably should be screaming. Yelling. Maybe panicking? But all you can do is shuffle through the rest of the box before your fingers graze against something metal that has your heart jumping.
It’s a small camera.
With a bat engraved on its side.
Ears ringing so loudly in your head you can't even think, you wipe your teary and red eyes hastily before grabbing a twenty dollar bill, putting everything except for the photo and camera in the box, set it back on the closet shelf, and hastily grab your backpack before making way to school.
The second you reach the damned place, you seek out your now three friends and drop into a seat with a heavy thud, sighing and meeting Tim's eyes with a burning gaze.
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“You mean to tell me [Name] found the camera? And you decided to tell me after school?”
Time Drake Wayne sighs and runs his fingers through his black hair, shrugging apathetically while scrolling through every photo in his phone that he’s taken of you during the club fair. His brother, Richard, is pacing throughout his room anxiously as he rambles off about their latest fuckup. 
“Look, Bruce doesn't let any slip ups happen,” Tim murmurs in exasperation. “He wouldn't let this happen because [Name]’s mom and him talked this morning. Relax, he probably knows.”
It's not a lot, but it’s enough to calm Richard down. The man takes a deep breath but finds himself sitting down next to Tim, trying to get a good look at the pictures. “How mad was [Name]?”
“High, for starters, but clearly pissed off. Very observant, too.”
“Don’t tell anyone else. Not until Bruce gives us the okay.”
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so follow me n repost if u want part lll. and somebody pls explain hsr and love and deepspace lore to me. making a taglistttttt. if this post doesnt get as many likes as the first one, im deleting this series 😭. if u see a grammatical mistake, no u didnt 😃🔪
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