#neglected space (fanfic)

[west-tokyo-incidents]

Armor is a bitch to draw

[iv3lostcontrolofmylif3]

Introspective. That was the word Chris had been described as more often than anything else. It meant he was often lost in thought, and he observed far more than most gave a 12 year old credit for. It was something that worried his grandpa, it was something he didn't know how to turn off, in the isolated short life he'd lived so far. He couldn't help it, and he didn't really want to. Because he was getting tired of just *thinking*. Something in him itched to act. Something in him itched to *run*. Because running looked so much easier than facing those thoughts head on. If it worked for some, why couldn't it work for him?. - or- Whoops, Sonic you're too good a role model and the goofy kid that you took under your wing has got your philosophy backwards. Tag, you're it.

Rating: General audiences

Lots of hurt and comfort and the brotherly sort of bond I wish we had seen more of from these two so we could actually believe their friendship had more weight to it.

I blame 4kids and their complete inability to write dialogue that treated children like they weren't vegetables.

(I.e, I'm putting to much thought into a show for children again. help.)

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

ik you mentioned interest in writing out how you'd prefer homestuck ended (though obviously time and money makes that impossible lol), and you touched on it in your big eridan essay at the end, but would you ever consider maybe a more detailed outline? i really enjoy your thoughts on the characters and the abandoned plotlines, i'd love to get a little more of an in depth look at how you wish it went down.

Yeah sure!

For those who aren't sure what the hell I'm talking 'bout, please check out my blog and the various essays I've been writing.

Some of it is contingent on stuff I kind of still need to reread so I'm really sorry to the alpha kid likers but I'm still not totally 100% sure where I want to take them. I'm also going to include quite a few personal preference ships; I'm not interested in arguing what other people should ship or about arguing about the course of action for my dumb fanfic in general. I also tend to discover the plot I want while I'm writing it, which I don't have the luxury of here, so... some of it is going to be kind of sloppy. I'm also a big troll stan so unfortunately the kids are a little bit neglected (sorry!!!!). That said.

So the changes would take place directly after GAME OVER, which is personally the point at which I think the truncation/turning on the fanbase really starts - ships start to get turbo-sped at that point. I'm not even saying I dislike JohnRoxy or JohnRezi, but they just feel oddly rushed the way they're handled in the comic itself. IMO, anyway.

There's not too much I would rearrange during this interstitial segment; I think it's important for Jade to have the experience of loneliness, for Terezi to kick off the retcons by only feeling comfortable fixing her own mistakes. Moreover, there's no reason why other characters can't use her mind beacon abilities to ask John to rearrange the timeline, though their attempts, because they aren't backed by Seer of Mind abilities, are a lot sloppier and come with a lot more unforseen consequences.

But something I would change is that Roxy's deal with Nyx is not to just kind of... sit back and chill in non-space while John does all the work; instead, like Rose in Davesprite's timeline, Nyx puts her to sleep, and when the timeline ceases to be, GameOver!Roxy's memories get transferred to Past!Roxy via her dreamself (which wakes up early), fulfilling a "stealing from void for others" aspect of her abilities, and leads to some important interactions later on down the line.

Also, this timeline's ARquiussprite and Gamzee's corpse (heretofore referred to as (ARquiussprite) and (Gamzee)) need to come along for the ride somehow. Maybe they fall through the sky after LOLAR crashes into LOFAF.

This kicks off a series of retcons, as each troll that gets brought back successively asks for another troll/set of trolls to be brought back. This absolutely RIDDLES Act 5 with password pages, can't go two steps without running into a password page, there are password pages within password pages (which IMO is very funny and very Homestuck).

Meanwhile, a couple other plots are running concurrently - the GameOver!crew (heretofore referred to as (Name)) are now in the dream bubbles, completing their character arcs and preparing to defeat LE. Because time and space are weird in the Furthest Ring, every successive meteor trip that occurs as a result of John's retcons is the first time from the point of view of the meteor, but is a repeating event from the point of view of the people in the bubbles - eg those dead god tier Eridan and Feferi wind up healing the Mayor like seven times from their perspective.

(Aradia) is fluttering her ASS off to make sure everyone is in the right "place" at the right "time" for this, lmfao.

Roxy gaining future memories also means that the Alpha kids get to complete their arcs in a way they weren't able to prior to Game Over. Because what John's retcons are doing are functionally whiting out and redrawing the past, the Alpha kids are also only seeing a single linear timeline.

One last arc, which is running concurrent to the retconned!trolls and their new meteor trips, is that bringing back each successive character allows them ALL to grow a little more. So it is NOT like they bring back Vriska, and now everyone's problem are fixed and everything is fine; Vriska's still kind of awful, but she gets better after Tavros gets brought back and they have to character develop alongside each other, and same when Aradia and Sollux get brought back, so on and so on. Because it's about BEING FRIENDS and BEING A TEAM. They're all still having interpersonal problems right up until ALL of them get brought back.

But as a side effect of this and the questing done by the GameOver!crew, the Dancestors get more fully utilized as foils, and get their problems addressed. As the retcon!team goes through their character development, they start to tear the Dancestors apart, because the Dancestors represent shitty parents who force their kids to clean up after their messes, and refuting them works both literally and symbolically as rejecting their irresponsible way of being in lieu of responsibility, accountability, empathy, and compassion.

So here's the series of retcons, and the absolute bullshit that accompanies each decision:

Terezi asks John to save Vriska, and prevent herself from getting too spades with Gamzee, as these are her two greatest regrets.

Pretty much just what her canon iteration asked for; I don't see any problems with the actions she asks John to do for her.

HOWEVER, we'd get more than just a montage of Vriska's time on the meteor, because in this version of events, we're taking our time and letting plot points breathe. Neither does she magically fix everything just by being around when she's very much herself still going thru it by the time the Meteor trip pops off. In any case, she brings with her some new complications:

Karkat still winds up having to play moirail and keep Gamzee calm. This still ends up breaking down by the halfway point of the comic, because they're kind of just not good for each other, but Karkat's personal shitty relationships are going to become A Theme, so it's important to make note of it here.

Vriska and Terezi don't fully make up on this iteration of the trip, since from Terezi's point of view, she was still actively about to kill Vriska before John intervened; however, we get more hints, now that they have to spend three years together, that not only does Vriska really miss Terezi (which is pretty well-established, given how she can't seem to leave Terezi alone), but Terezi actually misses Vriska, too - she's just really bad at separating her own feelings and desires from her instinctive grasp of karma and justice, a very Mind player-type problem to have.

At least with Vriska around, Terezi's able to nip her Gamzee habit in the bud, but this kind of leads to Gamzee feeling worse and more alone.

Something Really Messy happens between Vriska, Rose, and Kanaya when Rose starts her drinking habit, and it's pretty toxic for all involved, and Karkat is kind of stuck playing auspice. Vriska already expresses not liking Rose much and develops some flushed feelings for Kanaya after being watching her murder Eridan, so "It's Really Messy" is kind of all I can say on the matter. The girls are fightiiinnnnggggg

Dave and Terezi get close again, but given the weirdo vibes he notices between her and Vriska, and the fact that he's really not down with quadrants (YET.), means they still end up not getting together.

Sorry DaveKat likers but I am not one. They do not ever get together, so if you are hoping for that, I am sorry and you don't have to keep reading if you don't want to, it's OK.

On a note about Vriska and Terezi - personally, I do think their moirallegiance is endgame; Vriska clearly misses her terribly, constantly trying to bug her into making the Scourge Sisters a Thing again, and she even expresses feeling really bad about the Team Charge Debacle to Terezi explicitly, before directly foreshadowing how awful Terezi will feel after killing Vriska:

AG: Cause even though you got all these highfalutin morals and fancy reserv8tions, you know as well as me that a killer is a killer is a killer! AG: There 8n't no ch8nging your ways for good, and one d8y you're going to flail that silly l8ttle cane of yours and not find n8thin to 8ump into, and fall f8ce first into the shit ag8in. AG: And you're going to do something t8rri8le to some8ody and wish you could t8ke it 8ack 8ut you c8n't!!!!!!!! AG: And then you'll work hard to win 8ack their trust, and you'll try and try and tr8, and you'll see how hard it is! AG: You'll seeeeeeee!

We know that she starts using 8's where they don't make sense phonetically when she gets really agitated, so it's pretty safe to say that she's displaying genuine emotional distress here. When combined with the way she tells John about feeling absolutely horri8le about killing Tavros, it's pretty clear she's genuine about feeling really bad about the Team Charge debacle, and sincere about wanting to somehow make amends and get back into Terezi's good graces, at times trying rivalry, at times trying to prove that she's trying to fix her mistakes.

Terezi also vehemently denies them having a kismesistude and directly mirrors Vriska's hesitance about all the murder:

GC: W3 4R3 SUPPOS3D TO R3V3L 1N BLOODSH3D 4S W3 GROW UP GC: 4ND SH3 S33MS TO B3 3MBR4C1NG H3R R1T3 OF P4SS4G3 W1TH R3CKL3SS 4B4NDON, 4S 1 WOULD 3XP3CT GC: GR4BB1NG TH3 BULL BY TH3 HORNS, SO TO SP34K GC: 1TS 4 L1TTL3 1NT1M1D4T1NG GC: B3C4US3 1M NOT SUR3 1F 1M R34DY FOR TH4T

AG: On my world, I would 8e completely vindic8ed for killing him! He is far lower on the hemospectrum than me. He managed to disrespect me time and time again, 8ut I kept letting him live! In fact, the amount of slack I cut him would 8e considered scandalous 8y those in my class. AG: I had every reason to kill him. And yet... AG: I feel 8ad a8out it like a lame weak fudge8lood, just like he was. AG: And the fact that I feel 8ad is why I'm sort of freaking out right now!

They're basically two toxic girls who CANNOT be honest with their real feelings, and wind up hurting each other. They need therapy badly, but given the fact that they also mirror each other positively - Terezi feels grateful to Vriska for blinding her, and Vriska mentions she ought to thank Terezi for killing her, which set her up on a date with the dead John Terezi also killed - I think they have a lot of potential to be genuinely kind to each other once they work through their individual issues.

Anyway. We're keeping the Roxy stuff under wraps for now - last we saw of her, she went to go see her denizen, and her planet exploded, and John was really bummed about it. HOWEVER, we are going to check in with our GameOver!crew, although only lightly for now:

Meenah and (Vriska) have fully disappeared, and (Tavros), (Nepeta), and (Feferi) are looking for them because they've got the FUCKING TREASURE???

Everyone else from the Game Over timeline has landed in the afterlife, to varying degrees.

Shortly after entering the afterlife, (Eridan) fucked off somewhere to be alone. Last anyone heard from him was (ghost!Sollux) and him being Erisolsprite, but neither (ghost!Sollux) nor (alive!Sollux) have seen him since Erisolsprite died in Game Over.

(Karkat) is also brooding off on his own, feeling really shitty and sorry for himself. He's always felt personally responsible for everything going wrong for his team, and now that his team is basically entirely dead, he feels extra shitty.

Mostly just setting up that these guys are still relevant to the story, despite now being (irrelevant).

That brings us to the second retcon. Vriska obviously had great regrets about killing Tavros, both pre- and post-retcon, so she asks for his death to be prevented.

Tavros is back.

Vriska's requested fix is a very simple one - after all, Karkat makes mention about how Vriska's always had a competitive streak with Terezi, admiring/being jealous of her ability to manipul8 people; I think an ultimate culmination of that is her insisting that insisting to John that he do a retcon to stop her from killing Tavros - which, as covered above, she regrets greatly - but to do a much sloppier job of it, simply having John pop into [S] Wake and knock Tavros the fuck out.

Vriska herself doesn't believe this will have any unintended side effects, because her opinion of Tavros is still really low despite her genuine desire to make amends, and she's wrong.

Tavros's stay on the meteor has a major effect on Gamzee. I'm not entirely sure how it would pan out exactly, but I think Gamzee would step in between Dave and Tavros, into a situation none of them are happy with. This starts Tavros on a path of realizing that his inability to stand up for himself not only hurts him, but people he cares about (Gamzee, whom he ghosted).

Vriska is mostly uninterested in Tavros now, as the moment has kind of passed, and Terezi keeps getting on her ass about going after him (which brings the two of them closer).

Previous Messy romantic situations are still active. Karkat is going thru it.

Dave feels bad about tormenting Tavros but he kind of can't help himself, especially because Tavros keeps going up to him for some reason. The fact that he gets trapped in an auspice with Tavros and Gamzee kind of reinforces that he does NOT vibe with troll quadrants. Dave becomes MORE xenophobic.

On a note regarding Gamzee and Tavros: while I generally try to avoid relying on Hussie's commentary too much, as he likes to play his cards close to his chest, his note about Gamzee in the Act 5 book is actually significant enough to me to include:

The best explanation for why Gamzee says he's scared of Vriska, in my opinion, is this: he's flat-out lying. It's a good way for him to maintain his cover as 'Soft Gamzee.' It also provides some ammunition for those who, against all sense of good taste and judgment, want to continue to believe and assert that Gamzee is a decent guy with sensitive emotions and vulnerabilities before he undergoes his Muderstuck awakening. He was none of those things, ever.

Hussie likes to play coy, and you can't really trust anything he says after Act 6 because he's fed up with the fandom, but I think this comment comes early enough, and is made assertively enough, that it can be taken at face value. I know that "Soft Gamzee" is actually extremely popular in the fandom, so this may be controversial, but I do think there's more evidence for him being kind of nasty and manipulative than not, and having that always be a part of him brings more cohesiveness to his character. For example, he seems to have a pale crush on Karkat, trying to assert that Karkat is his best friend and changing the topic when Sollux gets brought up and he recognizes Karkat is closer to Sollux than him, and if you read his first log with Terezi as if he's hiding being nasty under a soft veneer, then his comments do read as pretty passive-aggressive.

TC: yOu KnOw HoW iT iS wItH fAmIlY. GC: NO, NOT R34LLY! GC: 4DURRRR DURR DURP TC: Oh YeAh... ... TC: I sPaCeD oUt, DiD yOu KnOw HoW bEaTuFuL tHe SoUnD oF tHe OcEaN iS? TC: hAvE yOu EvEr EvEn SeEn ThE oCeAn? TC: oR i MeAn SmElLeD iT... TC: SoRrY. GC: >:[

Maybe most damningly, his narration calls dealing with Eridan's genuine emotional distress "indulge emotional theatrics," an implication of his true feelings. Karkat and Eridan are heavily foreshadowed to be moirails, and Gamzee seems to have a pale crush on Karkat. What does Gamzee do in this conversation? He chases Eridan away from comforting Karkat - using the same excuse as he uses to avoid dealing with Vriska.

CA: put kar on TC: UuUuH, i cAn't rEaLlY ThInK AbOuT InTeRvEnInG, tHe bLaCk fRoWnInG MoThErFuCkEr kInDa sCaReS Me

Moreover, he does NOT seem to like Jack comforting Karkat instead, either.

THIS IS NOT TO SAY I DON'T THINK GAMZEE ALSO DESERVES A SHOT AT KINDNESS AND REDEMPTION. Gamzee is clearly a very troubled youth, between his absentee lusus, his indoctrination into a fundie doomsday cult, and his sopor usage. The fact that having his faith shattered by Dave makes him snap implies that, one, he was already unstable and teetering on the edge, and having his faith fucked with was the last straw, and two, that until he lost that last shred of hope, he was still pretending to be nicer than he was for a reason, and given that his LE worship doesn't start up until after the snappage, I think it can be extrapolated that that reason is that he genuinely wants to get along with his friends.

Given that Gamzee's issues largely stem from his neglectful lusus, it's not a stretch to say that Gamzee does not take well to abandonment and isolation. So here's kind of where Tavros comes in:

Gamzee mentions that he feels "So aT ChIlL WiTh yOu" while talking to Tavros, and Tavros reciprocates the friendship and also - interestingly - acknowledges Gamzee's religion, calling it beautiful even if he doesn't necessarily believe in it. I call it interesting because Karkat's inability to do so is explicitly one of the reasons their moirallegiance broke down. Moreover, in their first conversation together, Gamzee explicitly praises Tavros for his "gumption" for stealing his clown nose, when Tavros's avoidance of his problems is one of his biggest personal issues. So yeah, personally, I'm all for moirallegiance.

But Tavros started ghosting him after Gamzee offered to make out a little, another symptom of his avoidance issues. I'm sure that, even in this meteor trip, the fact that Gamzee killed Equius and Nepeta really scares him. In his conversation with Terezi, Terezi outright says "NO WOND3R V4NT4S C4NT ST4ND YOU"; Equius is constantly yelling at him; lots of people on their team seem to genuinely just sort of dislike him.

CG: MIRACLES ARE LIKE POOP STAINS ON GOD'S UNDERWEAR. TA: eheheh makiing fun of people2 reliigiion2 i2 the be2t thiing two do.

So having one of the few people he does really like also ghost him probably did... bad things to his mental health. Especially so when said person wound up dead. But now that he isn't dead, I think they have a shot - they just need to address their personal problems. Tavros with his avoidance, and Gamzee with his resentment toward the world, and reliance on substances and religion to take the edge off. In this meteor iteration, that doesn't quite happen - their toxic auspicetism succeeds in letting them air out their dirty laundry to the audience, but doesn't bring full reconciliation.

In any case, this meteor trip is fairly short, and uneventful from the dream bubbles side, although I do think Tavros should get a talking-to from (Tavros) about real self-esteem and self-worth.

Still, being back in contact with Tavros again, even if in kind of a messed-up way, does make Gamzee start to reconsider some of his past actions. This brings us to:

Gamzee Asks for Equius and Nepeta back.

Gamzee's not as nice as he lets on, but he does genuinely care about his teammates, and for the people he really cares about, like Karkat or Tavros, I think he's willing to stick his neck out. Bringing back Nepeta and Equius is more for Tavros than himself, really, because Tavros is scared of him for doing that, and he motherfuckin' misses Tavros, okay? John mostly agrees because he's kind of scared of Gamzee.

Some really fun stuff starts happening this go around.

The Gamzee-Tavros situation becomes resolved because this time, Equius steps in as an auspice between Tavros and Dave, and this auspicetism is COMPLETELY HEALTHY (with the bonus of being extremely funny, and what is the point of a Homestuck ship if it is not deeply funny).

Gamzee and Tavros are able to enter into a totally healthy moirallegiance once the auspicetism builds up Tavros's self-confidence, much to Karkat's relief.

Being stuck in the auspicetism makes Dave go crawling back to Terezi on his hands and knees. I'm sorry, Terezi. I'll do anything if you take me back. Just don't let me die as the guy stuck in a threesome with the two worst trolls. Dave has overcome his xenophobia.

Dave and Terezi becoming official does make Karkat sad, however, so when Nepeta finally works up the courage to confess to him, he accepts the offer to date her, thus fulfilling Jaspersprite's musing that she might only be able to date him after she dies.

They also break up. We're keeping up this trend of Karkat and his disastrous relationships. He's still involved in the Rose/Kanaya/Vriska drama, too.

With GamTav and Dave/Tavros/Equius cinched, Tavros and Vriska reach a sort of truce with each other. Not really friends, since they kind of still dislike each other, but Vriska would genuinely be glad to see Tavros getting more actually confident, and muster up the energy to genuinely apologize for almost killing him, so there's a sort of mutual respect there now. Vriska and Terezi are even closer because of this, but still not fully over their problems.

On the topic of the Dave/Tavros/Equius auspicetism: Dave still can't stop bothering Tavros, but the lewdness of it sets Equius off, so he feels like he has to intervene. Dave also can't stop himself from bothering Equius, which ALWAYS BACKFIRES, and since Tavros has a weird fondness/rivalry with Dave, he'd find it within himself to ask Equius to back off (which would work, because of Equius's... Equius). And every time Equius gets too overbearing toward Tavros, Dave feels COMPELLED to intervene, because he's like, my fucking god, you are the two worst trolls, why must weirdos fight. Dave desperately wants out, but he can't stop staring at these two.

And weirdly enough, it's beneficial for all of them. With two people to yell at him for being weird, Equius becomes less weird. With a rival in Dave and more contact with Equius, Tavros becomes more confident. And Dave has two people to rap against and feel good about his art with, something he more or less had to deal with alone during previous trips.

On the topic of Karkat and Nepeta, there are quite a few implications that they wouldn't necessarily work out. For citations, let me just link my Nepeta essay, where I go over what the comic says about their relationship from a storytelling perspective; here, I'll talk about their relationship from a more interpersonal perspective.

Karkat's signals are mixed as fuuuuuuck. While I don't necessarily think this will be an issue for Nepeta, as - as a Heart player - she's preternatually gifted at understanding motivations, the thing is... I think Nepeta can do better, and deserves better, a sentiment echoed by Jasprosesprite^2. She certainly deserves better than being second to Terezi, at the very least, even if she states she likes his outbursts.

And the thing is, Karkat is pretty explicit about saying that he doesn't return her feelings; in a world where they date, there's always going to be a sense that she's his second choice. And, just... my girl deserves better, okay? Moreover, while he respects her personhood, he's also pretty nasty to her when he DOES talk to her, implying he doesn't necessarily respect her choices. And also, she's actually really bad at shipping, so there will be this extremely weird tension of like... a hobbyist vs. a professional. I don't think Karkat would be able to stop himself from mocking some of her shipping choices if she ever opened up to him about that.

But I think them getting together is important for Nepeta, developmentally - I talk about this in my essay for her, but shipping is something I think she does need to outgrow, since it's kind of a replacement she's using for her loneliness. Moreover, I say in that essay that the issues she has in her moirallegiance with Equius warrant relationship counselling - and that's what Karkat is uniquely qualified to dispense, as the team's Blood player. Although they end up not working out, Nepeta would take several valuable lessons from this relationship - that she's kind of bad at shipping, that Equius is being kind of a shithead to her, and that she needs to start making friends with other people.

Now then. We're finally getting into some drama in the bubbles.

Please imagine for me Equius and Horuss talking, and Equius being aghast at the way Horuss is so derisive towards his matesprit and moirail. Now imagine him pulling a mic out of nowhere and rapping at him about how his problem is that he does not respect his partners. Now imagine Tavros and Dave joining in, also out of nowhere, with Tavros adding bars about how the hemospectrum is, not a good thing, he thinks. And Dave adding bars about how he does not have a fucking dog in this race. He's not even a troll. He doesn't understand their hemospectrum. Let him out of here. The fine fucking art of Alternian slam poetry. I think Horuss would start crying. So would I if three people including my grandkid started rapping at me.

Nepeta's uncanny emotional acumen leads to her wanting to befriend Damara, but being unable to speak her language.

GameOver!crew is up to something, IDK, probably showing (Tavros) inspiring people and rebuilding the ghost army, to tell a parallel story to Tavros becoming more genuinely self-confident.

We check in with the Alpha kids, too, who have some group therapy sessions led by Roxy.

Vriska and Tavros confront Rufioh together, a final culmination of their no-longer-enemiesship, and together, they steal Rufioh's ones. Like, Tavros starts speak1ng w1th ones, something he always had in him, and they also roast Rufioh so badly that he stops speaking in ones. But the way it's presented to the audience, Vriska outright just says that Tavros should steal his ones. And Tavros does. This carries over to successive retcons, as it's implied that Tavros just kind of starts naturally being more confident as healthy relationships are established sooner and sooner.

Anyway, a final note about Equius - his problems are mostly due to being sheltered. Although he is probably the most casteist highblood, he's not really that casteist, as what's really going on is just that he's got a BDSM kink. But because he's sheltered, he does not realize that it's a kink. And a fetishist who does not realize that they're a fetishist has more power than God.

His protectiveness of Nepeta does come from a good place; preventing her from playing FLARP was actually in her best interest, given what happens to people who play FLARP. But he's very much going overboard with it, likely an extension of his own lack of understanding of how much sheltering is good and how much becomes detrimental. What he really needs is for someone to point it out to him, which I think he gets via Nepeta or via Karkat, and then have a reaaaaally long think about it. He's genuinely a polite and helpful soul, who doesn't WANT to make people uncomfortable. The auspicetism is very good for him in this regard, as is his moirallegiance once Karkat talks him and Nepeta through their issues.

The point is, once he's forced to reckon with the fact that the degeneracy is coming from inside the house, I think he'd have a LOT of regrets about the way he treated Aradia. Which leads us to:

Whoops That Robot Thing Was Really Inappropriate Huh

Equius approaches John to ask him to make Past!Equius reconsider the Aradiabot Thing. John's getting kind of impatient with all these trolls who keep asking him to go back through time, but given that everyone seems a little happier each time, he can't help but agree.

So he goes back to the past, before Equius can give Aradia her robot body with the love chip in it, and something really fun gets to happen here: first of all, Equius's Void status makes him really hard to place, so John winds up missing by a bit, time-wise, so Aradia's already in the body. This is the first time that retconning!John and Aradia have been in the same place together, and when she meets him and finds out that he can time travel without causing paradoxes, she demands (with her Aradiabot deathmurderkill intensity) to be taken back in time to before she died.

John's retcon powers explicitly ignore the usual rules of paradox space - he describes it as a "fresh start". Given that Breath is associated with choices and freedom, his retcon powers are kind of the ultimate culmination of his abilities as a breath player. Although doomed timelines can and will still result from paradoxes caused by players when John isn't there, anything he directly interferes with is totally a-okay.

So all Aradiabot asks him for is passage back in time, in order to sanction her interference in the past. After she dismisses him, she still more or less has to adhere to events in the original timeline, for two reasons - the first being that she doesn't want to risk a new doomed timeline, and the second so she can keep the timeline predictable.

So even though she's basically asked for passage to the time period before SGRUB, it's basically outright stated that the progression of events has to be more or less the same, up until the point where John's other retcons take place. So here are the cascading effects of Aradiabot preventing her own death:

Aradiabot takes Aradia's place in the Team Charge debacle, being blown up/"killed" (as a sprite) by Sollux's eye beams, so that she can take Aradia's place as Doc Scratch/the Handmaiden's servant and "carry out" their orders.

Meanwhile, Aradia seeks refuge with Equius, whose void powers keep her hidden from Doc Scratch's omnipotence.

Because Sollux never actually killed Aradia, and Aradia communicates with him via Equius's account, Sollux is less depressed and self-loathing. He no longer predicts a future where all of them die and he has to be blinded. It's left deliberately vague whether this future comes to pass because he's less pessimistic, so his Mage powers are calling a happier future into being, or if his future changed, so his Mage powers are prophesying something new.

Nepeta starts regaining memories of alternate timelines and past retcons, as an extension of her Rogue of Heart powers. This includes the relationship counselling she received from Karkat.

Between Nepeta and Aradia yelling at him, Equius's character development starts sooner, so he's squared away for future events, and ends up not making the creepy Aradiabot, making a non-creepy one instead.

Aradia and Equius do not strike up a relationship, and become uneasy enemies/friends.

Aradia secretly god tiers well in advance of Jack's arrival, and meets him at Derse rather than awakening on her crypt there.

Aradia and Sollux continue a loving matespritship, leading to Sollux settling into a moirallegiance with Feferi. He's devastated when she dies, which still happens along with the rest of Eridan's freakout; Aradiabot doesn't intervene because she's needed for:

Aradiabot winds up being the one to sacrifice herself piloting the meteor, allowing Sollux to stay with the rest of the team when he meets up with Aradia, (Aradia), and (Sollux) at the Green Sun. Aradiabot winds up with the GameOver!crew.

With the 1337 hackers back in commission, Sollux and Roxy are able to establish a server connection with each other, allowing them to communicate during the 3-year meteor trip.

Aradia involves herself in the Rose/Kanaya/Vriska Mess, and I kind of can't decide what I like better - a vascillatory pitch/flush threeway between Rose, Kanaya, and Vriska, now that Vriska's near the end of her character development, with Aradia serving as a stabilizing force as Kanaya's on-again off-again moirail, or Aradia stepping in as an auspice. Either way, it's out of Karkat's hands.

This has a knock-on effect of finally giving Vriska the chance to fully make amends with Aradia, which winds up cinching the Vriska/Terezi moirallegiance. The scourge sisters are back baybee. And between a healthy moirallegiance for Terezi and a healthy moirallegiance for Gamzee, I think pitch Terezi/Gamzee could work as a healthy ship this time around. I'm not married to it, but they did always seem to hate each other well before SGRUB.

Nepeta has LEARNED HER LESSON regarding dating Karkat, so that does not happen.

Karkat now has no quadrants. He winds up desperately throwing himself at Sadstuck Sollux to try and help him get over his breakup. It's not a good look. Sadkat. He also takes up talking to the alpha kids for emotional support, which puts them off, too. Still gives really good relationship advice. He's clearly one of the more unstable members of the retcon!crew at this point.

We're light on the dream bubble drama this time around because of how MUCH is happening for the retcon!crew, but there's going to be a reference in there of Nepeta learning East Beforan.

SO. NOTES TIME.

Aradia expresses outright that she hated the feeling that she was set up and that she wishes someone would have stopped her from being so reckless. And although she seems to find some satisfaction in being the stewardess of the afterlife, there's clearly some resentment there that she's been forced into that role, as she expresses that what she's really looking forward to is watching it all break apart. There's also kind of an orphaned plot thread where Aradia is spending a lot of time in the afterlife putting knowledge together, which never really directly pays off except to the audience, and I think a really good way to bring that back in would be for her to be communing with (Aradia) in the dream bubbles in order to make sure the timeline flows as smoothly as possible.

As for Aradia/Kanaya - they're actually really good friends, and Aradia expresses that she's flattered that Kanaya wants to talk to her so much. There is a tone here that matches the way Vriska thinks about Kanaya when Kanaya is still ostensibly Vriska's moirail, and Kanaya herself admits to being attracted to people who are reckless. In fact...

AA: i just wish AA: back when i was behaving recklessly AA: i had s0me0ne t0 tell me t0 st0p listening AA: even if i ended up ign0ring their advice AA: it w0uld have been nice

GA: It Must Be A Certain Madness Im Afflicted By GA: To Orbit Those More Reckless And Dangerous Than I And More Daring For It GA: I Guess I Want To Help Them But They Never Can Be Helped It Seems

So I'm just kind of saying... Aradia and Kanaya moirallegiance... is not entirely unfounded. And a moirail stabilizes a troll's other relationships; if we have a moirail for Kanaya and a moirail for Vriska, then the Mess that is whatever's going on with Kanaya, Vriska, and Rose would probably resolve itself, I think. Either way, Rose is surrounded by SUCH a girl's night of emotional support to help her with sobriety now.

As for whatever's going on between her and Equius, I tend to believe the comic when it tells me relationships don't work out, and Aradia expresses regret for kissing him during the Ministrife. I think they could be good vitriolic frenemies, though.

Okay, onto Sollux.

In the same panel where Eridan and Karkat are implied to be "hatched for each other" pale-wise, Feferi and Sollux are foreshadowed in the same way:

They also spend a LOT OF TIME curled up in a pile together talking about their feelings, which we don't see with matesprits, but we DO see with moirails. Nepeta and Equius do the same thing, and they are kind of THE moirails. So I think Sollux and Feferi were always meant to be pale, but because Aradia died, Sollux wound up taking Feferi on as a matesprit instead. Between EriFef, SolFef, and GamTav, people getting flushed and pale feelings entangled is like, a Running Thing, so it's not really surprising to me.

Now, here's the thing. We already know that Sollux likes to cope with a rebound, since he went flushed with Feferi after Aradiabot exploded and was presumed dead. And Karkat cares very fucking much about Sollux, to the point where Gamzee speculates that he's actually Karkat's best friend, and Karkat even calls him that (although Karkat also kind of just calls anyone his best friend, lol).

CG: GAMZEE WAS MY VERY GOOD FRIEND, WHO WAS THIS GOOFY LOVEABLE BULLSHIT CLOWN UNTIL HE WENT PSYCHO AND KILLED SOME PEOPLE. I LIKED HIM A LOT. CG: I DON'T KNOW, I GUESS MY BEST FRIEND IS REALLY JUST THE GUY WHO I HAPPEN TO BE FEELING MOST SENTIMENTAL TO AT THE MOMENT, IS THAT A FUCKING CRIME.

This crab's got so much love in him. In any case, I mostly just want to keep sticking Karkat in these extremely unhealthy relationships for a while. It makes it sweeter when he finally winds up with Eridan LIKE HE WAS ALWAYS MEANT TO... but yeah.

Cross-session communication is also entirely possible, as Sollux set up chat clients between the trolls and the kids in the first place, and even without that, Kanaya found Rose's old GameFAQs on a server in the Furthest Ring. With both Sollux and Roxy on the case, there's no way they can't somehow establish communications way sooner.

Regarding Nepeta regaining her memories, let me once more point you towards the Nepeta essay. She's on track to become the one who attains Ultimate Selfhood, and comforts people like Jade and John about not really knowing their friends or being lonely.

But yeah, obviously Sollux asks for Feferi to be brought back.

F-EF-ERI!!!! 38D

Mostly Sollux just asks to be prevented from provoking Eridan so harshly. Eridan still winds up blowing up the matriorb, and thus, still getting killed by Kanaya in retribution, but this means that Eridan is now the only member of the team left dead.

PITCH FEFNEP. PITCH FEFNEP. PITCH FEFNEP

Pitch FefNep leads to Feferi letting slip something casteist where Sollux can hear; he doesn't personally care because he's heard much worse, but puts them on a break while she sorts herself out. They get back together after that.

Karkat alone :'( he's mostly just talking to the alpha kids at this point, trying to hide from all the happy fucking relationships happening all around him.

If the last retcon was really heavy on the retcon!crew, then this one is much more about what's happening in the bubbles. We get most of our dancestor development this go around. Do not read if you like the dancestors! I go very in-depth about how most of them are horrible people on purpose here, so their arcs are mostly about them being pulled up on their abject awfulness.

Nepeta, who has learned East Beforan, is able to talk to Damara and have an earnest heart-to-heart with her about how awfully she was treated. They hug and cry. Damara, finally validated, gives everyone a big middle finger.

Feferi heals Mituna's brain injury, because literally why the FUCK has nobody else done that. Now once more in control of his faculties, he breaks up with Latula, pissed off that she took advantage of him all those eons to boost her own ego. He also gives everyone a big middle finger. Damara steals her skateboard and high fives Mituna.

Porrim's basically the only dancestor who grew as a person so I think she mostly escapes unscathed.

Latula gets chased around by Sollux and Aradia, who basically just bully her for being bad at games. This is a date to them.

Gamzee completely refutes Kurloz, with his newfound clarity about the real miracle being friendship and the real dark carnival being the world he and his friends will build, not that LE noise.

In a double team between Terezi and Rose, Meulin gets eviscerated for the way her own Issues have made her ships deliberately awful, that she could have simply Not, and she has a bit of a breakdown.

As Feferi is grappling with her privilege and internalized casteism, Cronus wanders up to try and hit on her, and she goes "oh my god... when people look at me, are you what they see? A friendless loser that nobody likes? A total waste of seawater who's only pretending to be cool with the lower castes? A totally fake poser? 38(" Cronus just goes "..." and starts crying and Feferi ends the convo oblivious to that, just going "wow... thanks for talking with me! really gave me a lot to think about" imagine how funny it would be -

Karkat finds and talks to (Eridan), where he fully admits to missing the guy. His mopiness is so extreme that (Eridan) takes issue with it and punches him, before basically yelling at him to get his shit together. Karkat then yells at HIM for him to get HIS shit together, and they both leave, intent on getting their shit together.

We also get an update on Vriska and Meenah at this point, where Meenah is starting to seem more into how they totally ditched their responsibilities than Vriska is.

So the thing with this update is that most of the trolls have sorted their shit out; even Karkat has had a lot of introspection about how he really just fucking loves his friends and should have been more honest about it, not worried so much about appearing weak or lame. With the double Aradias in play to kind of handwave that the timeline will be stable because they're ensuring all loops get completed and all necessary conversations happen, and with everyone's successful relationships on display, we can kind of truncate the next leg of the journey:

Karkat Fixes Everything

Karkat is the Friendship Troll. Karkat is the Romance Troll. Karkat is the Bonds troll. He is their team's Blood player, and as the Blood player, he's been shown to deeply love all of his fucking friends - yes, even the assholes. Maybe even especially them.

As such, it's vitally important for the last push - last leg of the journey - to belong to Karkat. Where would our Blood player be without his bonds? Well, we actually have the answer to that. It's knocked out and prevented from joining in any of the important boss battles. LAME!

So in the last retcon, Karkat hears from Nepeta about the retcons that have been happening, and he really starts digging through his own past. If every retcon so far has been each troll only feeling comfortable undoing their own personal mistakes, then what of the guy who feels personally responsible for everything, all the time, forever?

Look, I'm not saying that a shipping chart saves Homestuck, but... by the time this last retcon is through, every Alternian troll is alive and god tiered. And he is dating Eridan.

If you have any questions about him dating Eridan, please refer to the link above. That essay is nearly as long as this one. There's SO MUCH FUCKING FORESHADOWING.

I don't think the god tiering needs to be explained, because if we hear that Karkat basically made his past self a shipping chart, and we've seen everybody's character development as they've gone through this journey, and we have Aradias on timeline duty and Nepeta with memories of past retcons and her alternate selves, I think we can more or less gloss over exactly how they go about earning their wings while maintaining timeline integrity. The important thing is that Karkat is dating Eridan now.

Because that leads to the last few bits of dream bubble stuff, but before we get into that...

Miscellaneous Plot Things That Need To Happen But I Don't Know Where To Put Them

Yeah there's just some ideas that I have floating around that need to be placed somewhere but IDK exactly where, or exactly how they shake out.

Hal becomes a real boy. And by that I mean as part of their character development, Jake makes Hal "real" a la brain ghost Dirk, and then the rest of them have to scramble against the clock (Jake's ability to maintain Hal's realness) to god tier him and make his existence permanent. He's a Sylph of Mind, which allows him to negate Condy's mind control. And maybe a GCATboy?

(Tavros) becomes the new leader of the ghost army.

Davesprite winds up dead at some point in the bubbles and doesn't explain how he died, but he and (Dave) get to fight each other and hash out their Realness and Relevance issues, before facing their final boss fight as bros once more.

Jade and Nepeta get to talk, and Nepeta gives Jade the reassuring speech about Ultimate Selfhood and how she won't be lonely forever. Maybe it's flushed. Might leave it ambiguous.

Somebody needs to auspicetize Dirk and Jake holy shit. Dunno who. Maybe Karkat, but I kind of like him pitch with Dirk, so IDK really.

Dad needs to die. Sorry Dad. If I can find a way to kill off all of the sprites besides ARquiusprite, I will. It's explicitly stated that sprites are drawn to the battlefield during the Reckoning, presumably to die, as part of the coming-of-age themes - losing one's guardians. It's sad but it's gotta happen.

All the Godtier!Calliope stuff basically happens as-is.

Can you tell I need to do more research on the alpha kids...

Ok Back To Karkat And Eridan

I think I'm going to leave their moirallegiance fairly ambiguous, but when Eridan is brought back, he and Karkat are basically together all the time. Karkat's signals are mixed even on the best of days, so I don't know how easy it'll be to tell that these two assholes slinging death threats at each other are pale, but *I* will know, and that's what matters.

This leads to the last two dancestor takedowns:

Karkat and Eridan (mostly Eridan) round on Kankri. Eridan calls him SO MANY SLURS. The fact that Karkat not only condones this, but is DATING ERIDAN, kind of makes Kankri lose it a bit.

(Karkat) and (Eridan), who have reconciled in the bubbles, finally find (Vriska) and Meenah. (Karkat) gives the two of them the speech that retcon!Vriska gave (Vriska) in the comic's original ending, but this time around, (Vriska) actually agrees with him. This serves as a conclusion to (Karkat) and Meenah's arc, and causes Meenah to feel so bad that she walks back to the other dancestors in shame, as (Vriska) leaves with him with the treasure to finally fight LE.

When Meenah returns to the dancestors, the first one she finds is Aranea, who's really sad about her own little escapade, blaming herself for the way Game Over went. This prompts Meenah to go, no, it was probably my fault, shouldn't have let you run off like that. And this would, from all the sobbing dancestors, prompt a string of "no, I'm the reason we failed"s, eventually culminating in Meenah rallying them together to do one last good thing before everyone gets sucked into the black hole and go join the fight against LE. Everyone agrees.

(Gamzee) is revived by the life players and cursed with immortality, so he can go on to become LE and complete that time loop. He is immediately locked in the fridge. This is also why he can't fucking die no matter what you do to him.

This also leads us into the final boss fights.

VS. CONDY

The twelve trolls. The Condesce represents tyranny, the worst aspects of the trolls' old society, and as such, is most thematically taken down by them. While she did fuck up the alpha kids' lives, too, I just personally think it's so much more thematic and satisfying to watch her be beaten down by the trolls.

VS. THE THREE JACKS

The eight kids plus Hal plus Davesprite. With Bec Noir specifically, it's fucking PERSONAL, as this guy killed their parents. This is where Dave fulfils his destiny of killing an iteration of English with his sword, when he decapitates Jack English; the person in the middle of that sandwich is Davesprite, which is how he dies and winds up in the bubbles. The iteration of Jack that survives to date Ms. Paint is Spades Slick, as he's the most sympathetic out of all of them and didn't kill anybody's parents.

At some point during this fight, I like the idea that they get zapped away by Jack English, John zaps them to the Godtier!Caliborn fight where he gets sealed in the juju, and then we cut back to the fight with Jack English, where, inexplicably, they all zap right back in.

VS. THE FELT

The spares - ARquiussprite, (Gamzee) in the fridge (who has since been revived by the life players and blessed/cursed with eternal life so he can go on to fulfill his role in the timelines and become part of LE), Dad, and the other sprites (if any of them are left alive).

VS. LORD ENGLISH

The GameOver!crew, the ghost army, the dancestors (they have a Big Damn Heroes moment right near the end, buying Jake time to deploy the Weapon), Aradiabot, and Davesprite.

Jake fulfills his destiny to defeat the Lord of all Angels by being the one to deploy the weapon, which deposits the beta kids, who knock LE in to the black hole. They then zap out of there, collecting the alpha kids from after the Caliborn fight, and zap back to the fight with the Jacks.

This specific configuration of boss battles winds up leaving Lord English entirely up to dead characters, who are then implied to all eventually get sucked into the black hole - their memories to live on through the living characters via Ultimate Selfhood, which only Nepeta achieves on screen, but implies that they will all achieve eventually.

It's important to me that the GameOver!crew is the one leading the fight against Lord English, as they're the ones who were the most screwed over by LE and his machinations - manipulated into killing each other, used as servants of his will, dying ignobly in a doomed timeline filled with special stardust. Meanwhile, the retcon!kids and trolls prove what they've learned - about compassion, kindness, equality, and forgiveness - by beating the shit out of the Condesce, who represents the horrors of Alternia, and the Jacks, especially Bec Noir and Jack English - the latter of which is a shadow of what Lord English represents - immaturity, cruelty, hatred - and the former of which is a culmination of all the failures they committed to get to this point, a symptom of their universal cancer.

I wrote a little snippet of Aradia once, and I think I'll use that to end this essay:

(ARADIA): ok now that we are all done being stupid (ARADIA): im sure enough people here remember the plan that i dont need to explain it again (ARADIA): so instead i just wanted to say (ARADIA): leave your backs to us and face forward without fear (ARADIA): the dead and irrelevant will slay the demon of double death while you unmake the threats of the living (ARADIA): and personally i think it's very fitting that he will perish here as nothing more than a bad dream (ARADIA): this will be the last time we see each other (ARADIA): so on behalf of everyone that you are going to be leaving behind (ARADIA): live (ARADIA): and be happy!

[aethon-recs]

Tomarrymort Advanced Pack – 12 Longfic Recs

If you’ve made your way through the Tomarrymort Starter Pack and Intermediate Pack reads, here are 12 beautifully written, timeless fics that are Tomarrymort on hard mode for when you’re ready to dive into something that will really challenge your every reading muscle. This selection of fics features some of the most skilled writing I’ve come across in the entire fandom, and I love how these authors tackle incredibly complex subject matter and plotlines and characterization choices with such bold and unflinching perspectives.

Please mind all tags (including CCNTW, explained here) as you may find some themes within some of these fics difficult or challenging to read for a variety of reasons.

This is Part 3 of a 3-part series (see here for Part 1 and Part 2). I hope you get as much enjoyment from reading these additional 3.1 million words of incredible Tomarrymort longfic as I have!

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Tomarrymort Advanced Reads

ǟʟʍǟɢɛֆȶ by eldritcher (M, 134k, complete)

Setting: Canon Divergence – Book 6 Premise: If Harry and Dumbledore team up with Voldemort to save the magical world from a catastrophic threat. Why I rec it: Eldritcher delivers one of the most epic love stories of a lifetime — with Harry and Voldemort surviving a trip to the moon and back, and Harry’s love for Voldemort transcending time and space after Voldemort makes the ultimate sacrifice to save the world and, against all odds, return to Harry. The prose is absolutely transcendent — amongst the best I’ve encountered not only in fanfic, but in all of fiction I’ve ever read. I can’t say enough about how much I love Elditcher’s writing style and how beautifully the story unfolds — there’s a very nice lyrical rhythm underlying all the sentence structure and word choice in the fic that flows like nothing else I’ve read before.

Anabiosis by @itsevanffs (E, 32k, WIP)

Setting: Canon Divergence Pre-Book 1 Premise: If Voldemort resurrects early and takes a teaching job at Harry’s primary school. Why I rec it: This is one of the best and most realistic and gutting depictions I’ve ever read of the quiet tragedy of Harry’s pre-Hogwarts years growing up experiencing severe neglect and an absence of love throughout his entire childhood. @itsevanffs did a magnificent job of capturing Harry’s limited POV and all the fluttering hope his still-trusting heart holds when he meets Mr Riddle, the first teacher who’s ever treated him with kindness. My heart ached so much for Harry throughout this fic, and the emotional arc in this story has continued to haunt me for a very long time afterwards.

Eight Days a Week by @vestiges-of-light (E, 802k, complete)

Setting: Canon Divergence – Book 7 Premise: If Voldemort captures Harry shortly after his sixth year, which leads to an unlikely truce and eventual partnership that ends up saving the magical world. Why I rec it: This fic combines a sprawling political epic with an incredibly extensive exploration of kink. The author asks a great question in the tags: "Why is only vanilla sex literary?" — and this fic does a fantastic job of proving that messy, filthy, raw sex scenes don’t have to be made sanitized or palatable for mainstream consumption in order to have just as much of a place in a plot-driven, serious longfic as vanilla sex does. Against the high-stakes backdrop of international political intrigue, there’s a very nice domesticity to Harry and Voldemort’s relationship, and how much they trust each other and can be stripped bare and vulnerable in front of each other is very poignant and touching to read about.

Embryo by @cannibalinc (NR, 28k, WIP)

Setting: Time Travel (1940s) Premise: If mysterious new transfer student Harry appears in Tom’s sixth year in a state of near complete amnesia. Why I rec it: One of the defining character traits of Tom Riddle is that he’s an absolute genius — the most talented academic mind to ever walk through the doors of Hogwarts — and this fic absolutely delivers on that aspect. Told from Tom’s POV, this fic is like reading a complex multidisciplinary text spanning philosophy and physics and mathematics and magical theory, all interconnected by the mystery of how Harry appeared and where he came from and why he is so utterly forgettable to everyone but Tom.

found by @honbug (E, 112k, WIP)

Setting: Non-Magical AU Premise: If Tom grows up in a world with no magic, but has had strange recurring dreams his whole life — dreams of a boy with green eyes and a scar, dreams of a dark graveyard and magical snakes and other mysterious things. Why I rec it: The character work done in this fic is absolutely breathtaking — one of the best character studies of Tom Riddle I’ve ever come across. This is a Tom who grew up without magic, but is no less cold and vicious and psychopathic and teetering on the edge of madness. The story arc follows Tom from his early childhood through his rise as a ruthless leader in an organized crime syndicate not unlike the Death Eaters — all the while that he’s haunted by dreams of Harry, his Harry, even as the dreams start to drive him to the brink of insanity.

how large the teeth by MaidenMotherCrone (E, 257k, complete)

Setting: Voldemort Wins AU Premise: If Harry grows up as an outcast in a world where Grindelwald and Voldemort have already won long before he is born, but he’s still the subject of a prophecy that designates him as their world’s savior. Why I rec it: The worldbuilding is so exquisite and complex in this fic — the author did a spectacular job at completely reimagining the wizarding world from the ground up if the Dark Lord were to win a long time ago and how their extremely inequitable society would subsequently be structured. Harry’s defiance throughout is lovely, and his growing entanglement with Voldemort adds to all the high-stakes and risky moves that he makes throughout the fic. The plotline is very action-packed — a lot of complex plot threads are interwoven throughout the story, with an undercurrent of revolution and discontent simmering under the surface until it explodes in a glorious finale.

In Willing Sacrifice by @hikarimeroperiddle (M, 1,197k, WIP)

Setting: Canon Divergence – Book 4 Premise: If Harry finds Voldemort in Riddle Manor the summer before his fourth year, and enters into an unlikely alliance with him before returning to school that year. Why I rec it: This fic covers so much ground — at 1.2 million words (so far!), it’s the most detailed rewrite of canon starting from book 4 that I’ve ever come across, weaving in plenty of magical theory and political intrigue as Voldemort takes Harry under his protection initially in a mentor capacity. The relationship between Harry and Voldemort unfolds in such a beautiful way in this fic — with Harry growing to fall in love with Voldemort, despite all of Voldemort’s murderous and violent qualities, without losing an ounce of his humanity or the inherent goodness inside of his heart along the way.

Lover's Spit by @blogalinda, @k3uuu (E, 88k, WIP)

Setting: Non-Magical AU Premise: If Harry and Tom grow up in a small town together in northern England, and Tom has harbored an obsession for Harry ever since primary school. Why I rec it: An absolutely stunning coming-of-age story set in modern times. This story is striking in so many different ways. It perfectly captures the voice of fringe internet communities in such an authentic way. It also poignantly captures the social isolation and erosion of privacy from living in a small town where gossip spreads like wildfire, and how the internet amplifies these dynamics. At the core of the story is a really sweet love story between Tom and Harry that I am literally obsessed with — every single one of their interactions is so tender and pure — and it’s such a startling contrast to how Tom’s internet persona is portrayed that makes the sweetness all the more heartfelt.

Mi Aedijekit by @kitastrophea (M, 282k, WIP)

Setting: Post-Canon Premise: If Harry is captured by Voldemort and placed under the Draught of Living Death, only to awaken in the far future where Voldemort has ruled over their world for over a thousand years. Why I rec it: A linguistic and sociological tour de force. When Harry wakes up from his magical coma over a thousand years into the future, the world has been entirely transformed, and the skill and effort that the author undertook in fleshing out a society where there’s been a thousand years of cultural change and evolution in language can’t be understated. One of the most unique and fun aspects of the story is learning the new vocabulary of the future alongside Harry for the first time. I love how the fic examines how even Voldemort gets bored with immortality after a millennia of ruling — and how, even with a thousand years separating them and memories of the earlier times scattered to the wind, Harry and Voldemort are still inextricably drawn together.

Of Kings, Of Pawns, and Of Men by @ambivalens999 (E, 129k, WIP)

Setting: Canon Divergence – Book 5 Premise: If Voldemort ends up in Harry’s body and Harry ends up in Tom Riddle’s body after a bad encounter with the dementors at the beginning of book 5, and they can’t figure out how to swap back. Why I rec it: This is such an interesting take on the bodyswap trope, which is given a very serious and plotty treatment here. For fear of the safety of his friends, Harry has to go along with returning to his 5th year at Hogwarts in Tom Riddle’s body and being sorted into Slytherin house, while Tom passes himself off as Harry Potter. There’s a mystery behind the depth of Tom’s knowledge and familiarity with Harry, as he knows more about Harry than even Voldemort should. Is it the scar horcrux? Is it Voldemort? Is it something else entirely? The inherent combativeness and magnetism between Harry and Tom keep the tension high as they push each other’s buttons and circle around each other like wolves trying to establish dominance.

Phobia by @katsitting (E, 48k, complete)

Setting: Post-Canon Premise: If Voldemort captures Harry and brutally tortures him to the point of breaking. Why I rec it: This fic does not sugarcoat Voldemort’s capacity for cruelty and sadism in any way, and I admire the author’s commitment to depicting the most horrific of scenarios. Having read countless fics with this setup, I’ll be honest, the depiction in this fic is probably the most likely outcome of any Voldemort-captures-Harry scenario. They do not fall in love. It is not a fun time for Harry. There is gore; there is brutal prisoner torture; there is extremely extensive non-con. I found it very raw and unvarnished — not an easy read, but a very memorable and evocative one. And yet, despite the themes of darkness explored in this fic, it ends on a note of hope.

The Foul (part 1) / The Great (part 2) by @meles-merrivale (M, 24k, complete)

Setting: Time Travel Premise: If Harry gets thrown back in time a thousand years into the past, and does whatever it takes to stay alive until he can meet up with Voldemort again. Why I rec it: This is a fantastic depiction of the slow descent into madness following a disastrous time travel accident and what a thousand years of immortality does to one’s sanity. It’s also a great exploration of the time travel paradox and whether anyone has the power to change the past, or if pivotal historical events are, by their very nature, predetermined. By the time Harry encounters Voldemort again, he is a shell of the person he used to be, but gradually, he finds more of his original humanity and spark for life the more his relationship with Voldemort progresses.

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[mpreg-is-always-possible]

Better

Pairing: Bruce Wayne x gn!reader

Tags: Angst, divorce, losing a child, graveyard, reference to child neglect, reference to canon typical violence, grief

Notes: so I’m very new to this fandom and haven’t actually read the comics yet but I’ve been reading a lot of fanfics and couldn’t get this out of my head. Also I tried to keep reader gender neutral but I did write and edit this in the middle of the night on my phone so please let me know if a rouge pronoun that isn’t ’you’ made its way in. Thanks for reading and please enjoy!

Word count: 1.9k

Summary: Falling in love with Bruce had been foolish. Marrying him was an act of down right insanity. You knew it would end one way or another but you had deluded yourself into believing your husband’s crusade couldn’t come at the expense of Jason’s life. Gotham needs Batman and Batman needs Robin. But why did Robin need to be the boys you had come to see as sons?

Or a one shot of the events leading up to your and Bruce’s divorce after Jason Todd’s death

Officially, you and Bruce had divorced only six months ago. Truly though, your relationship had ended nearly three years ago when Bruce came home without Jason. His Robin went off to do the one thing Batman wouldn’t, and the next thing you know your son is in the ground.

The grief was all consuming. You fell to your knees when Bruce told you. Alfred said the scream you let out would haunt him for the rest of his life but the memory of it was lost to you. Those early days after Jason’s death are blurry still. The only tangible feeling being the heavy hole Jason left behind in your chest.

You’re not sure where Bruce went after that. He grew so distant the only time you saw him was to discuss funeral arrangements. After the funeral you don’t really see your husband for the next month. When asked, Alfred informed you Bruce was staying in the cave believing you needed space. Alfred had clearly disapproved of that but Bruce was right. She did need space from him, from Batman.

It’s not a point of pride that you grew to hate him in the early months after. Thoughts of revealing his extra curricular activity plagued you. As much as Gotham needs Batman, Bruce needs Batman too. He needs to protect his city and build towards a future where his parents' deaths wouldn’t ever be repeated. But how could that future exist when Batman won’t even kill Joker? How could it exist without Jason?

The idea is tempting but you never act on it. Revealing Batman’s identity wouldn’t only endanger you but Alfred and Dick as well. You couldn’t stand losing them too. Dick decided to come back to Gotham for a while after the funeral, just to be there for you and Bruce. Bruce tried to send him back to Bludhaven but you had put your foot down. “We just buried one son and now you want to push another way,” you had yelled at him, his face as stony as ever. He acquiesced.

Dick and Alfred tried to get the two of you to talk to each other. Dick would often try to essentially parent trap you and Bruce in various rooms around the manor, inviting both to watch a movie or asking for help with something but not tell you that he’d asked you both. By the second week Alfred refused to bring Bruce’s food down to the cave, forcing him to eat with you. By the end of the month the two just threw out the cot in the cave and Bruce took a bed in a guest room. Their efforts made it seem like Bruce was imposing his absence on you, and maybe he was but there was no comfort to be found in his company, not anymore.

Their antics went on for another month after that until you sat them down and told them to stop. They had for a few days. When Alfred “mistakenly” served Bruce’s food upstairs one night, you cornered him afterwards to tell him you were considering leaving Bruce. “I cannot fault you but he’s the closest I have to a son and I’m afraid another upset would cause him to spiral more. It’s too much to ask but can you please stay until the grief isn’t so raw.”

That’s when you noticed Bruce had bruises and cuts in places he was normally careful to keep clear of thug’s fists and knives. Dick told you he was fighting so much harder; The criminals had started to whisper fears of the bat starting to kill soon. You didn’t think he would go that far, and Dick agreed but he could tell his father wasn’t far off.

So your marriage continued. You woke up alone, went about your day, had dinner with Bruce before he left for patrol, then went to bed. Galas and various other functions for Wayne Enterprises or Bruce's charity events were the only time you two truly acted like there wasn’t this vast distance between you. Most of the time it made your skin crawl to act like things were fine, but occasionally you could pretend - Jason wasn’t dead, he was just trying to find where the servers smoked to join them. Then someone would offer condolences and the facade would break.

It was around this time when you began to visit Jason’s grave. It had been too painful to see it before. The words ‘Jason Todd: Beloved son and brother’ etched in stone had followed you into nightmares for months. But you needed to get out of the house and Jason had spent too long without a visit from you. At first, they were short somewhat sporadic outings - tiptoeing in about once every other week to leave flowers, often leaving them next to a bouquet or two some else had already gifted. After a while, you warmed up to a quick hello and some highlights from the week before, then had graduated to speaking at the tombstone for hours about life after him every week. It was cathartic and maybe a little sad but those one sided conversations became the one place you could talk about the complexity of your family’s situation without having to sugar coat it or be reminded of how staying was helpful to Batman.

For two years this went on and Batman’s anger didn’t cool. Bruce still came home with black eyes, bleeding knuckles, and the occasional gunshot. The hate in your belly for him had dulled considerably to the point where you had begun to patch his wounds up again out of respect for the love you once had. You might be angry with him but you didn’t want him to get himself killed.

When the neighbor boy, Tim Drake, had knocked on your door, you couldn’t have guessed that he came to express his worry for Batman, for Bruce. You and Alfred listened as he waxed poetic about how Gotham needs Batman but Batman needs Robin. The hole in your chest that had since grown less noticeable ached because he was right and it made you want to spit. As Alfred excused himself to get the Robin uniform for the boy, you grasped his thin shoulders and looked into his face, colored in righteous determination.

“The last Robin was murdered, Tim.”

“I know Jason died, but -“

“Bruce will try to push you away. Don’t let him.”

Watching Tim run out the door in the red and green suit made your stomach turn. It wasn’t what you wanted but you had never had a say in that side of your husband's life. The two of you thought more with your heart than with your head when you decided to get married, but you weren’t so love drunk to think that the marriage wasn’t nearly guaranteed to fail. You even expected it to end because of his crusade. You just wished it didn’t come at the expense of your son.

It was foolish to think this new Robin wouldn't worm his way into your heart just as the two before did and maybe it was selfish but you couldn’t do it again. There was no way Bruce could just stop, but you didn’t need to stand by his side while he did it. It was a miracle that only Jason had died.

Despite your efforts to keep Tim at arms length, he was a sweet kid and it was impossible to ignore him. Plus you knew his parents weren’t paying nearly enough attention to him so he needed someone looking out for Tim and not just Robin.

Bruce had been better at keeping the boy out. He let Dick do most of Tim’s training and really only spoke to him about vigilante things. But the armor slowly but surely cracked. It didn’t escape you or Alfred when Bruce began to request foods that you knew Tim liked or when he had Alfred set up a guest room that was meant for Tim to use when needed. A year in and Bruce had long stopped coming home from patrol with careless injuries.

You knew it was coming. You anticipated everyday that Bruce would come home from patrol and tell you Tim had accepted the mantle. When it actually happened though, it still sent ice through your veins.

“Tim’s passed every test Dick and I have given him. I offered him Robin and he said yes.”

“I knew he would.”

“I don’t want him to be.”

“I know.” A moment passed and then you said “I don’t think I can do this anymore.”

“I know.”

The divorce was quick. Neither of you wanted anything from the other. Bruce offered alimony but you refused. You kept your job after getting married but you never touched your salary, leaving you with a nice nest egg to start your new life with. Alfred and Dick were sad but they understood. They knew you sacrificed a lot to stay with Bruce even before Jason died, but after you gave more than you had.

Tim didn't really know what your marriage looked like before but he took on its demise all the same. Your heart broke when Bruce told you Tim had tried to give Robin back in an attempt to make Bruce reconcile with you.

“Tim, if I had it my way none of you would be going out every night fighting thugs and criminal masterminds but you were right; Gotham needs Batman and Batman needs Robin. Unfortunately, it’s become too much for me but Bruce won’t stop. He can’t but he needs someone like you there to make him remember himself.”

Tim just nodded his head and went back to the manor.

Dick and Tim visited you at your small apartment in Gotham as often as they could. Though between Dicks commute from Bludhaven, Tim still being in school, and both of their budding vigilante careers, they didn’t have much time to visit. Occasionally, they’d stop by during patrol for a rest or some first aid. Mainly you kept in touch with phone calls and texts.

You never really saw Alfred anymore, unless it was when he opened the door for Tim after dropping him off at him from school or some outing. He does call occasionally, just to say hi and chat. It’s nice, not feeling completely cut off from your old life.

It was surprising how unchanged your relationship with Bruce was after you left. It probably shouldn’t have been - your marriage was one in name alone and had been for awhile. Still, realizing your conversations only revolved around if Dick or Tim needed anything made it clear just how true it was that divorced life with him wasn’t far off from your married one. He never did make an effort to really speak with you after things went to hell but then again neither did you.

When you finally signed the divorce papers, it felt like you could breathe for the first time in years. No more sticking around because you were afraid leaving would push him over the edge. But the hole in your chest still plagued you, and it most certainly would forever. The divorce wasn’t what was best. What would have been best would be Jason being alive and Batman not needing to put your kids in danger constantly. But Jason was and Batman did. So the divorce is better.

[solivagant242]

losing you pt.7

remus lupin x f!reader

warnings: strong angst, losing a relationship, minor swearing (?)

pt. 1 pt. 2 pt. 3 pt. 4 pt. 5 pt. 6

amberly is used as the MC here since i used to write a lot of fanfics with her, but feel free to self-insert or use whatever name you’d like <3

________________________________________

Amberly is fighting what feels like a losing battle.

She’s stopped trying to reach out. Stopped trying to talk, to hang out, to make plans. Every day the shell she’s built around herself gets a little thicker, a little harder.

She gets up in the morning. Early, which hasn’t changed at least. She goes for a walk by herself, her only company the fat gray squirrels chasing each other over the brown leaves in the gutter. She doesn’t kiss Remus’ forehead or ask him if he’d like her to warm some bread or start the kettle for tea. She makes him a plate of food, placed neatly under another one in the oven so it will stay warm, and then takes a shower and dresses in clothes she lay out the night before. Gone are the days of sleepy cuddles, of clinging to each other in the early morning hours, curled into each other like tired cats.

By the time Remus is out of bed, she tries to be gone and out of the house. Her job as a high-school math tutor has gone fully remote, as most of the students in the district are just starting school, so she’s taking calls from kids across the country or even the world. She takes her laptop, charger, and headphones to the little cafe down the street and curls up in her favorite window seat that overlooks the entrance. 

She heads back around four every day, so that she has time to make dinner and warm it up for him. After that she makes herself scarce. Heads to the library, headphones on, buries herself in a book or writing so that she doesn’t have to think. Loses herself so well there’s always a slight shock when she looks up and sees the dimming light around her.

And at night? Amberly keeps to her side of the bed. Curls herself around her pillow, hugging it to her chest, teetering on the very edge of the mattress with her back to Remus if she can help it. She doesn’t hug him. Doesn’t touch him or reach for him in her sleep. The nightmares that used to plague her are back, back with a vengeance now that she doesn’t have the solid comfort of Remus’ warmth against her. More often than not she finds herself leaving the bed in the gray hours of dawn, teeth chattering in the early chilliness of the house, to plaster herself against the soft plush of the couch and close her eyes, praying for the bad dream to end.

She doesn’t feel…anything? Maybe that’s not accurate; she knows she should feel something. Anger, like Lily had suggested. Or sadness at the rapidly growing pit that had once been their relationship. 

But all Amberly can feel is numb.

Every time she wants so, so so badly to reach out to Remus, to pet his hair or ask for a hug or rest her head on his shoulder, she just remembers that bitter, hateful rage behind her eyes when he spat those words at her.

“I don’t want you…”

And she wraps herself in gray silence like a cloak, the weight of unspoken words heavy on her tongue. 

Remus feels like he’s losing his mind. 

What’s worse is that he has exactly what he wanted. But now he doesn’t want it, not unless Amberly is there. 

He wanted to be left alone. He wanted for her to stop clinging to him, always asking if he was okay, if he wanted to do something together. He wanted some space to breathe, neglecting to realize that the only reason Amberly had been in his space was because she was trying to take care of him.

Well, now he has that.

She doesn’t text him anymore. Well, she does, but not like she used to. She’d send him good morning, i love you, i had a CRAZY dream about a bunny rabbit mixed with a Niffler…

Now he gets a morning, love you, food is in the oven.

She used to answer him right away. Always there, always ready- do you need me to make you that herbal mix for your bath? How about I fill you a hot water bottle? Love, would you like some popcorn or is your headache too bad?

He’s lucky if he gets a response within two hours now.

For the first time he knows how she felt. As it turns out, seeing the response ty to have a good day today love really, really hurts. 

She doesn’t hug him anymore. Well, she does, but not like she used to, wrapping her arms around him and burrowing into the crook of his neck like a sleepy cat. Her warm embrace has become a one-armed, uncomfortable bump together that she always stiffens at and leans away from as soon as possible. 

Amberly used to rest her head on his shoulder, grab his hand and interlock the fingers, hug him from behind, curl up in his lap. Now she barely touches him, and if she does, it’s quick and very plainly not wanted. She doesn’t look at him that much anymore either. That beautiful light from her brown eyes that he’d loved from the moment he met her is now dulled, maybe even extinguished completely.

Her presence in the house reminds him of a ghost. She dodges in and out like autumn mist, timing her leaving and arriving with his. He can’t remember the last time they sat in a room to have a conversation. Fuck, he can’t remember the last time they even talked, outside of short, brief exchanges: dinner’s on the table. I got your meds, they’re on the dresser. Already locked the door.

But through all that growing blackness, all he can think, a dull pulse in his ears, is this is exactly how you treated her, and you were stupid enough to think it was okay.

Amberly can feel herself fading. 

She’s lost weight. She doesn’t know how. Maybe when the whole thing had gotten really bad, when she had entirely lost her appetite for anything at all. Sleep. Physical affection (she cringed at the thought, imagining what Remus’ mind was probably on when he touched her- does she ever leave me alone? Why does she have to be around me, clinging to me, every second of the day?). Food. Water. 

Her eyes have shadows under them. In dim light, they look like bruises. As if she’s some weeping, scar-faced ghoul.

The only thing that she wants to do is watch the sunset. Watch the sky, and remember happier times. Even though that just makes her sadder with the memories that might have been but now probably never would be. 

She closes her eyes, curls around the pillow, and slips uneasily into a jerky sleep.

Remus stares at the ceiling next to her. 

He can feel it. Can feel his girlfriend slipping away from him, shutting down more and more every day. 

His eyes burn at the memory of those hateful words. Of what he’d said to her.

You fucking ruined things with the one person who cared more about you than themselves. All because you couldn’t just admit that you needed her.

And now she’s gone.

The guilt sloshes in his stomach. He can still see her brown eyes in front of him, puddled with tears. He can still hear the little noise she’d made when he spoke the words that broke her. As if a part of her had been suddenly, irreparably shattered. 

How could I have said that to her?

He turns to peer at Amberly, sleeping next to him.

She’s curled into a little ball around her pillow, and his throat swells with tears as he remembers how she used to cling to him. How she’d cuddle into his shoulder with a happy sigh, and he’d kiss her hair and tell her how much he loved her, how much he wanted her.

Now she doesn’t even want to look at me.

Remus closes his eyes.

I fucked up.

[dysfunctional-doodle]

Do you have any Mikey angst fics you can recommend?

Yes I do! I keep meaning to update my list here. I will…at some point.

Here is the old list:

And here are a few new additions!

Wrong (ROTTMNT):

"His younger brother lies still in his lap, eyes closed and face sickly and pale. Mikey is silent and dripping in water, chilled to the bone. He's so cold.

He’s not breathing.

In that moment, everything clicks."

Or,

A presumed dead Mikey fanfic, featuring science facts about box turtles.

Disposable (TMNT 2003):

“The life of your brother, or your own? Better hurry up and choose if you at least want one of you to make it out alive.” Bishop pressed the pistol harder against Michelangelo’s forehead, staring Donatello down expectantly.

The Fixer (Bayverse)

-> You need an ao3 account to view !! <-

NOTE: I LOVE THIS ONE B TEAM ANGST SO WELL WRITTEN I AM FEASTING ON THIS FIC…anyway:

Donnie fixes, even when he breaks. April learns this the hard way.

Surface Pressure TMNT (All Media Types)

NOTE: actually, read everything by this author, I live for their writing style and characterisation

What if Mikey saw Encanto and realized something about his very own family?

Waterboarding (TMNT 2003):

If someone had asked Michelangelo a week ago if waterboarding would be effective on turtles, he’d have laughed in their face. Now thought? Now he wouldn’t be laughing. Especially as he tried to keep water from getting in his nose and mouth and wondered if he was about to set a new personal record for how long he could hold his breath.

Parasite (TMNT 2003):

After Leo is bitten by a bat, Mikey desperately tries to convince his brothers he’s no longer himself.

Or

Leo gets infected by a parasite and is slowly infecting his remaining brothers.

Lost (TMNT 2003)

-> You need an ao3 account to view!! <-

Mikey and Klunk get separated from the others and lost deep below the sewers. Good old fashion turtle luck leaves them injured with no hope of finding their way out. But they continue on, determined to survive.

MY FICS:

Fungus Humungous (TMNT 2003)

“Mikey?”

Michelangelo doesn’t answer, standing alone in the shadows. Leonardo moves to place a hand on his shoulder but pulls his hand back when the youngest screams in utter terror, his eyes wild and staring at the space around them. It’s a sound that haunts them all to their core, ringing over and over and Mikey keeps screaming and sobbing, begging for something they can’t understand. The fungi quickly latches onto his face, mushrooms digging into his eyes, across his shell -

“Mikey!” Raph yells but Mikey doesn’t hear them, lost in his own nightmare and unable to defend himself as the mushrooms consume his face completely. Instead, they can only watch helplessly as Michelangelo gets dragged into the darkness.

~

A mysterious infestation of fungi in the sewer system of their old home causes the turtles to each become trapped in the own never-ending nightmares. Imprisoned in the dark caverns and the last one standing, Leo must battle his own fears if he stands a chance of saving his brothers before they are all consumed by their own terror.

~

TLDR: remember that 2012 episode with the fungus? I rewrote that for 2003, but much darker.

Subsidence (TMNT 2003):

It is then, as his eyes travel to follow Michelangelo, that Leo spots the way the water is dripping thicker now, seeping through the concrete of the ceiling. There are signs he has carelessly neglected – the cracking on the stone, the groaning of pipes around them. His cheerful mood snaps.

Something must reflect this in his expression; Mikey pauses, a few feet ahead of him, face twisting to concern.

“Leo –“ he begins, but is interrupted when everything shudders. Rubble drizzles, then throws itself upon them as the roof collapses under the strain of the water pipes.

For a moment, Leonardo’s eyes meet his youngest brother’s and see the terror flash inside them. He barely has time to take another breath before the world caves in, and everything goes black.

~

While the brothers are out exploring a new sewer system, the whole thing collapses. With no way to get out and separated from each other, they all face their own struggles, injuries and fears as they fight to survive and find each other.

TLDR: a sewer caves in. Leonardo and his brothers are trapped because I like angst.

[btr-rewatch]

Big Time Rush Fandom lore from back in the day

The fandom during the years the show was on was booming with constant content being churned out, especially fanfics. Most of the BTR fanfic community knew each other and formed collective headcanons and lore that were then spread and picked up by the rest of the fandom (ie tumblr). I had only just recently discovered online fandom spaces at the time, so I didn't contribute fanfics or anything (which is good because I was young, and they would have been terrible), but I did absorb a good deal that stuck with me. Thought it might be fun to share. A lot of this might still apply today but truth be told, I don't really know much about the current fandom headcanons. I'm still learning things as I continue to interact with people on here! Also! Idk if anyone currently in the fandom was around during Miss Fenway's reign, but she was the Queen of the BTR fandom and most "famous" of the fanfic community. A lot of the headcanons adopted by the fandom started with her and were quickly picked up by others.

Kendall • Pretty much unanimous agreement that his father was a deadbeat who had walked out on the family very shortly after Katie was born. This explains why there is ZERO mention of him in the show, no family pictures in the background that hint at a father still being in their lives, etc. He caused them a lot of pain, so they erased any trace of him. • Some people took a little bit of a kinder approach to him, where he was a genuinely loving dad when Kendall was very young, but then things unraveled, and he ended up leaving. • He was big into hockey, which sparked Kendall's love for the sport. • Lots of sad fanfics involving Little Kendall dealing with his parents deteriorating marriage and being forced to "take charge" once his dad left. • Also agreement that he likely dealt with a decent amount of anxiety and very clear abandonment issues, along with a hero complex. • Naturally, Kendall was very often the focus of intensely angsty fics. He was always being pushed to the limit, ignoring his own issues, sacrificing himself, etc until he reached his breaking point.

Logan • Prior to the airing of Big Time Moms, it was generally headcanoned that Logan's mother had died when he was very young, and he was being raised by his father. • It was also headcanoned (in the fanfic-sphere at least) that Logan's dad was an awful person. Don't ask me how this came to be because I don't actually know. All I remember is discovering fanfiction, reading fic after fic of Logan's dad being horrible, and going, "Huh, I guess that's a thing." • Logan's dad ranged anywhere from being a raging workaholic who totally ignored & neglected Logan to being outright abusive. • The main reason Logan threw himself so hard into school and being "smart" was so his father would notice him. It did not work. • Because of this, the fandom headcanoned that Logan was pretty much "adopted" into the Knight family from the moment he befriended Kendall. Mrs. Knight is the one who raised him and gave him love, and so he and Kendall grew up as brothers. (Several fanfics even had Logan be officially adopted into the Knight family at some point) • If there was an award for most tortured character in BTR fanfiction, Logan would have won hands down during the 2009-2013 fanfic era. This guy was put through the wringer! He was always experiencing trauma. When he wasn't being emotionally scarred by his dad, he was dying tragically or losing an arm in a shark attack or getting brain damage or being kidnapped. Logan suffered constantly lol the poor guy.

Carlos • He likely got the best, most lighthearted side of fandom headcanons and probably suffered the least in fics. Largely because he's Carlos, and nobody wants to hurt Carlos. • From a big, loud, happy family. Definitely the healthiest, most stable upbringing of all the boys. • Babied and loved so so much by his parents. • People had different ideas regarding the actual makeup of his immediate family, but most people headcanoned him as the oldest and only boy, with 3 or 4 much younger sisters. • His father was often written as having a special bond with Logan. I remember a trend in fics where Logan called Mr. Garcia "papa" and looked to him as the main father figure in his life. • It's still assumed that Carlos has a serious case of ADHD, right? Because that was a given back in the day. James • Honestly, I remember the least amount of James lore. Let's see... • Only child • Uses his superficial exterior to hide the fact he's deeply insecure • Actually feels everything so deeply that he has to pretend he doesn't care to avoid getting hurt. This was used to many fic writer's advantage. • Loved by his parents, but they don't show it well, and he grew up feeling disconnected from them. And that's about all I've got!

I should dig back through my old list of bookmarked fanfics at some point and make a post of the ones that were my favorites.

[idontknowmyownmind]

Soukoku Fanfics Recommendation

COMPLETE

[Series] tiny hints of being related together but ehhhh by Vitya_Viktorie

[Series] home by setosdarkness

[Series +FyoYa] synchronous by setosdarkness

[Series] never been happier by saffroncassis

Counting the Days by Neiro Gin (Neiroa)

Everybody Wants To Rule The World by Emotionalgemini

chaos crushed to dust, I shall die peacefully by cinnamon_penpal

grief: a synonym of sorrow by cinnamon_penpal

picking a flower that blooms on the heart for you by burgundytshirt

Skyline Pigeon by forest_raccoon

something just like this by Maristella

Rite of Passage by A_Zap

the taste of love by cherryousama

You Will Never Stop Hurting by hybridempress

time after time by Maristella

i want you (bless my soul) by secondwind (mizore)

Mark by Raven_Rein

Full Tacit Understanding by setosdarkness

hide the truth by writingfromtheshadows

A Melody of Shredded Notes by black00cat

The Making Of You by black00cat

Linger by iskendaris

Waiting For My Wish To Reach You by black00cat

5 + 1 Dazai the Courier by 2day4u_2morrow4me

In the Sun's Peace of Mind by daibakusasshin

time enough for love by setosdarkness

April's Fool by TopHat69

Harvester of Sorrow by arkastadt

Turning Pages by arkastadt

The Ticking of The Countdown by Exiti_Anima

For Worse by arkastadt

Empire of Dirt by arkastadt

The Little Family We Dreamed Of by serenathea

Untainted Memories by serenathea

the liar’s house by burgundytshirt

fuck off, you’re stepping on my invisible wings by burgundytshirt

picking a flower that blooms on the heart for you by burgundytshirt

Stay by the_most_happy

the world is full of fishes (but i trust you, i trust you) by communist_sasuke

i love you (i love you i love you i love you) by communist_sasuke

money well spent by chuuyasoup

Six peculiar things about Chuuya Nakahara according to Dazai. by BlowingYourMind

come crashing down by meyllah

On My Knees (Looking for the Answer) by A_Zap

Bruised Fists and Telling Looks by chuuyasporkie

Dazai’s Boyfriend, Mister Fancy Hat by yummybeefcake

The Story of One Asshole of a Father and His Three Sons by orphan_account

catch me once, catch me twice by Seedus

overturning the heavens and the earth by cherryousama

Ephemeris by Seedus

I Was Screaming Your Name Through The Radio by ElectricSplatter

23 Minutes by roadtosomewhere

eternity (i'd choose you every time) by orphan_account

Tempus Fugit by Imabakuhoe

This is how it feels to take a fall by forest_raccoon

Wish in one hand by forest_raccoon

Chuunyaa's Pawsitively Catastrophic Day by forest_raccoon

Plate :( by forest_raccoon

I called your name 'til the fever broke by forest_raccoon

A Face Like Glass by forest_raccoon

Willful Neglect by toucheslikethesun

Butterflies and Storms by Chailily

Tomorrow Has Not Yet Come by izanyas

ten by setosdarkness

The last string to sever by foundmywei

beyond space and time by setosdarkness

The Undercover Mission by OldSauk411

Through the Rabbit Hole by Aamu16

Maid of Steel by A_Zap

Like A Summer Night's Star by Hum My Name (My_Kind_of_Crazy)

Jealous Jealous Boy by wallows_4

who you belong to by neon_toad

the kids are alright (and so are we) by lunarumbra

chasing daybreak by lunarumbra

imagine being loved by me by lunarumbra

gathers no moss by bigdamnher0

allergic to a chibi by lunariclipse

open up your heart, like the gates of hell by dendronali

chuuya-san! please wake up! by dendronali

it's a way to make a living by refectory

#################

ON-GOING

[Series] Ayatsuji & Chuuya are friends by TheSilverHunt3r

[Series] Coin Toss by Yellow_Canna

[Series] Crystaliqueeen's Soukoku Realm by Crystaliqueeen

[Series] Mafia Boss Chuuya by bluemisfortune

[Series] Soukoku Flowers by StarMaidenWarrior

[Series] Wardens Of The Night by bluemisfortune

[Series] Murder Mania by Areetails, Grxdients (Areetails)

[Series] until the day i'm forgiven, until my sins are forgotten by mil_writes

[Series] all for one, one for all by devilrin

[Series] sofia's relationship reveals by xxalwayssofia

[Series] I'd Rather Be by The_notorious_subhuman_freakshow

[BSD x JJK] A Ripple of Chaos by BlueGhostCardinal

[BSD x MHA] When we're together (I'm not afraid of my tears) by Must_have_been_the_wind

a syzygy on earth by missconceptually

And The Walls Came Tumbling Down by SapphireDragon2708

The Darkness Always Deceives by uzai_sagi

The Shadow by the Window by Areetails

transcendence by chuuyasporkie

lamb to the slaughter by melebee

NEXT

[fandomxo00]

Welcome to my blog!

Hi, I'm Kensi, I'm 19, and I am bisexual. I have a tortie calico, her name is Nora and she is 7 1/2. I feel like the cat in the hat live action and every deadpool movie pretty much explains my humor and I've been a writer since I was probably 10? I think my first book was a horror picture book. Another thing, I grew up on horror movies and absolutely love them, and more of the classics in the 80s. If you ever seen the umbrella academy, my family is pretty dysfunctional too. I am also a huge marvel lover and I can easily obsess over grey's anatomy. (or little anything lmao)

I love to read and write fanfictions about whomever I am hyperfixating at the time and some permanent people who I am always write for. I am neurodivergent, on this blog I talk about my autism, adhd, bpd, ocd and ptsd. I am still navigating what that means for me, when I was 16 I was diagnosed with Ocd and Ptsd. My autism and adhd was neglected and repressed for a very long time, which is probably why I have borderline. But even with the diagnosis it's hard for people to understand me and alot of people will say, well we all have a little bit of tism, and that is so invalidating, please don't say that. Can you tell I am a blabber?

If you can't tell I am mentally ill but I'm working on it and pushing forward. I want this to be a safe space for everyone, it doesn't matter what you look like, identify with or struggle with, hopefully this can good place for you!

If anyone ever has questions or issues, please ask, confront, but in a nice way, I'm sensitive. I try going forward with the most authentic version of myself, even when it seems nearly impossible.

Right now the hugh jackman hyperfixation is going strong i am still thirsty over this man every day almost all the time bc it gives me the dopamine i lack!!! i try other healthy ways to search for dopamine but lol i still need more anyway this my favorite gif of his, been waiting to use it probably use it again cause fuck can i be that apple pretty pretty please???

Spam notes from nameless, ageless blogs---Or just spam with no comments or reblogs, get blocked! Ill just assume your a bot 🤖

hashtags masterlist:

#my requests

#my thirsty ass

#mental health

#ok but imagine

#reblog fanfics

masterlist - BLOG 18+

*means smut of some kind, read smut warnings on each fic

hugh jackman/logan howlett - currently updating for logan

wanda maximoff - requests open!

wade wilson/deadpool - currently updating

erik lehnsherr/magneto - no longer updating at this point

[west-tokyo-incidents]

It's quiet here.

How many times will he come back to stare at the Black Lake? Rathma isn't here any more. His body lay where it has for however long it's been since Inarius came back and spread the prophecy as gospel.

No amount of speed or lack of distraction would have let him meet Rathma personally.

The wanderer huffed under his breath and leaned on his hand. He's perched above, just inside Kasama, looking down at the barely-submerged platform where Vhenard died twice over.

"The first necromancer... Wow, I bet this is a big deal for you, huh?"

"Hm? ...I suppose so."

Neyrelle's question to him, when they'd first come across evidence of where they were.

"Well, isn't it? Aren't necromancers priests of Rathma?"

He remembers his thoughts from back then. Should he pretend to be in awe? Excited? Something other than skin-crawling anxiety about meeting the nephalem his people worshipped?

"I guess I'm just... Nervous."

The wanderer considers going back down there. Hell, he even walks through the City of the Ancients to the entrance of the Cradle... Only to stop and stare at the mural on the floor in front of it.

He must've not seen it before. Rathma's face, scrolls falling from his hands, a skeletal mage at his side.

Nope.

The wanderer turns back around and goes back to his spot overlooking the lake. Back to the little food he'd packed himself. Even if he went, he couldn't cross the lake. And even if he could, Rathma would still be dead and his spirit gone from this place.

And even if he wasn't...

Best not think about that. He stuck a piece of bread in his mouth.

"Well, Neyrelle told me I'd probably find you here."

Only to nearly choke on it in shock.

"Donan...!"

The wanderer, coughing, turned to look at the man.

The man is grinning at him, "Hey, now, don't die on me, you're the only necromancer we've got!" The man walks over as the wanderer manages to get a drink and clear his throat, "Mind if I join you?"

"No, of course not. Why were you looking for me?"

With a heave, Donan sits beside him, "You'd been gone for a while got concerned. I guess you couldn't resist coming back here while we're in the area, hm? Neyrelle told me all about how you two met."

A soft grunt of acknowledgement.

"...I can't imagine it." Donan sighs, his voice becoming soft, "I guess, in a way, it's like if Inarius had just. Suddenly died one day. No glory, no songs... I can't imagine how the church would react."

"Hah, yeah, except it's as if that arse died locked away in the Alabaster Monastery and the world forgot about him. Hidden away with a key you can never get again. And why would you even want it?" A dry laugh, "Just to see a dead body?" The wanderer stares down at his food. He can feel the heat of anger beginning to boil in his stomach.

Donan goes quiet, "I'm sorry... For what it's worth, he isn't forgotten--"

"His prophecy isn't forgotten, you mean." He spits, "There are no crusaders for him. No knights to guard his tomb. His temple is sunken beneath the rancid sea and his tomb is rotting. I've heard so many people talk about him ...But no one but me and Lilith seem to grieve."

"...I thought you said you weren't religious. Yet you sound as devout as Prava. Don't go falling into Lilith's arms just because she--"

"It's nothing like Prava. And I'm not falling into that bitch's arms." He snarls suddenly. Wolven teeth snap behind his own. He can feel Hatred in his words, and Donan does, too. "She grieves him... But what she does... It's too much like... Like where I came from. Except Rathma never actually demanded the things my people did to me." His hair bristles on the back of his neck. Donan clenches his hands into fists in his lap.

"...Wanderer... What happened to you?" Donan reaches and gently places his hand on the necromancer's shoulder. He flinches, but doesn't pull away. He glares at Donan, but the man meets his eyes evenly back.

Donan seems to be considering his next move. Almost like a young boy eagerly expecting to find a small hind on his hunt and running into a great hart who has no intention of being shot.

But this hart trusts that will not be shot, and he will not run, either. The wanderer rolled his shoulder, shrugging off the hand.

"We were terrible people. Isolated from the world on an island south of Hawezar. I thought I loved what We were. We took trips to the mainland to get corpses for Our craft. They weren't dead when We got there." His hands ball into fists in his lap.

"...you were an instrument in the Death Song..." Donan's voice is barely a whisper.

The wanderer tilted his head, "Is that what your name is for who We were?"

Donan scowls softly, "Well, it's what we heard from travellers who came from the south. What do you mean, were?"

"How long ago was the last time you heard a story about Us? I imagine We'll become nothing but a fairy tale to children before too long."

Donan frowns, "So... They're gone?"

"Yes. We're gone. For the most part."

Silence. The wanderer just stares at Donan, waiting for the next word.

"...What did you do?" A look of concern and caution crosses the man's face.

"I think you've already guessed the answer. Why do you think I travelled so far north? Why do you think Mephisto haunts me?"

"Answer the question, wanderer."

"I killed them." Tension hangs like a heavy stone in the air, "Say what you want about it. Yell, storm out, threaten me." The wanderer looks back at the lake.

A slow sigh, "No, I don't think I will." Donan's hand reaches to take one of his hands, and the necromancer realizes he's bleeding from his own nails, "I know you, wanderer. Whatever they did to you to push you to such a point. You still consider yourself one of them, even after killing them."

His shoulders fall. He pulls his eyes away from Donan carefully wiping the wound off with a cloth. And he decides to speak again, "I'd been a bad omen since birth. White hair. Pale eyes. And they treated me like it, only barely a part of the Whole, no matter how hard I worked, how many I killed. They only gave me a name when I was bathed in the blood of someone I loved." There is more to it. But he can barely conjure the words to speak it, "My mentor cursed me and stripped me of my name with her dying breaths. Probably the best thing she ever did for me."

Quiet, again. He glances to Donan and sees the man deep in thought as he wraps his palm. It stretches out for a while. The wanderer simmering slowly in his own head as the water below gently splashes onto the shore and stones.

"So why do you feel so strongly about Rathma? Why are you still a necromancer?"

"My craft is Mine, not Ours." He snaps, yanking his hand back and his lips peeling back from a snarl, "Made for One, not the Whole. I am a necromancer because that is who I am. My people may have shown me the path, but that's the only part they play."

A hum. He suspects Donan is confused, by what he doesn't know. It's clear to him, but Donan doesn't press on whatever it is.

"And what about Rathma?" He motions to the lake. The Necropolis beyond, "Your people told you everything was his command, didn't they?"

"Yes. And for a while, I hated him as much as I hated the Whole." The wanderer leaned against rubble nearby, looking down at his hand and finishing the wrapping himself. "And then I sought to learn more of my craft, beginning to struggle on my own. I read his teachings in the wider world, and I began to question what I had been taught."

The binding tight, he let his hands fall back down.

"First to learn he was a flesh and blood being? And not a serpent at all, but that he looks as human as you or I. And then to read his teachings and find that the Balance I had been taught was twisted." He shakes his head. He reaches into his pouch and pulls out a beaten up book; his journal. It's scarred and stained with who knows what all.

"I don't see him as a god, I don't worship him. He was a person. A teacher."

His fingers flip open the pages and his eyes flick between each one. And then he stops. The page he'd written after returning from the city of dead. There, delicately sketched, is Rathma's face.

"Almost every word I was told about him as a child was wrong. Coming here, suddenly being thrust with the realization that I could possibly even meet him. Only to find him dead. Killed by Inarius with his own weapon." A shaky breath.

"In a way, I guess I am devoted to him. But as one is devoted to a loved one, not an angel nor a demon."

Donan has been quiet for a while now. The wanderer snaps his journal shut.

"I hope you're satisfied now."

Donan still doesn't answer. After a second, the wanderer looks over his shoulder, almost wondering if the man had snuck out at some point. But no, he's still there.

"You've been through a lot, haven't you, wanderer?" Donan hums softly, "I can see why you aren't eager to let Neyrelle try and think of a new name for you."

"I am happy being a simple wanderer."

"Perhaps I'll have a word with her in private, ask her to stop."

"You don't have to--"

"No, I think it's only right." He stands up, then pauses. He wants to say something... But it escapes him, "We have to make for Hawezar soon, though. I don't want to rush your meal, but we're ready to leave when you are."

The wanderer stares at the Black Lake, but nods and begins to pack up, "I was nearly done anyway. Go on ahead, I'll meet you there."

[promise-you-doie]

Sweet misery | Mark lee

Mark x reader (established relationship)

around 900 words

Angst if your weak, teeny bit suggestive, toxic relationship.

not proofread

A/n: it was originally inspired by misbehave - monsta x but i think it’s kinda more sweet misery - shinee coded.

My first nct fanfic yay~

It’s midnight, 1:22 am to be exact.

The wind is flooding in through the window, brushing past the exposed skin of your leg. You’d spent so long crying that you couldn’t get another tear out even if you wanted to. Now your head is just throbbing and it’s hard to tell if it's because of the sobbing you’d just done or if it’s because of all the alcohol you consumed. It might have been both.

It’s 1:22 in the morning and your boyfriend is nowhere to be found. No calls, no text, nothing. Lord knows where he could be, he could be cheating or maybe he’s over at a friend's, he might be at a bar or he might be working late. It’s left to your imagination because he hasn’t told you anything. You doubt he will, he’ll probably sneak in like he always does when he’s sure you're fast asleep. And wake up in the morning as if everything’s fine.

Now what’s worse? The fact that you allow him to do it every time, scotch free and pretend that it doesn’t bother you? Or the fact that you stay up every night with tears dried to your face waiting for him to come back?

Neither.

It’s the fact that you’ve stayed up all of those nights telling yourself that it was gonna be the last. The last time you allow yourself to be treated like this.

Your heart skips a beat when you hear the doorknob turn. You’re not sure if you should hide or pretend to be asleep. Your muscles make that decision for you when you stand up, both of your feet planted on the floor. Your breath hitched and your eyes wide open, gazing at the boy who walks in front of you.

“Oh man, you’re awake?” He unintentionally stomps into your shared apartment. You try to read him but you can’t. He’s walking and talking perfectly fine, so you know he’s not intoxicated. His hair is somewhat neat or better yet not messy. And his clothes look almost the exact same way as he walked out this morning. So maybe he’s not cheating.

“Where were you?” you mumble barely enough for him to hear you.

“I was with Johnny.”

“What about last night? and the night before that?” You’re on the verge of tears. He hadn’t even answered the question yet but you’re already recoiling. And he sees it.

“Are you crying?” He reaches for your cheeks to dry your tears, not even acknowledging your question. Half of you appreciates that much, you were already crying, you don't know how you’ll react once he tells you the truth.

You close your eyes and take a deep breath, relishing the way his hands feel. They’re kind of rough and bruised but it doesn’t bother you at all since this is the most he’s touched you in probably a month.

“I was giving you some space. Like you asked.” He almost whispers. Your eyes flutter open and meet his immediately, that’s how you know he’s being honest. You know he is but you’re still doubtful.

You asked for space and some time to think. Now that he was giving it to you, you felt neglected.

“Doesn’t it bother you that we can only talk to each other when we’re arguing?” You think aloud. Watching the way his face contorts into confusion.

“All of our conversations end with ‘I hate you’ and we never fail to throw things at each other,” you add

“What are you trying to say?”

“We’re a mess, Mark.”

“Okay, and that’s why we’re together. I’d rather fight with you than with anyone else.” He kneels down in front of you when you plop down on the couch. Tears welling in his eyes, he blinks them back and grabs onto your hand so you know how sincere he is.

“I need you, Y/n. I really do, I don’t think you understand that.”

“This can’t be healthy.” You say, looking off to the side so you don’t have to face him. That way you won’t feel as bad for what it is you’re about to say.

“We’re not perfect, but name one person who is? We’re gonna argue then we’re gonna make up and argue again. But my love for you is never gonna fade.” Mark never let go of your hand.

“I think we should break up.” You whisper, eyes closed and fresh warm tears streaming down your cheeks.

“What do you want? I’ll do anything, anything you want anything but that. Baby please.” His tears match yours, his grip on your hand is tighter now and you feel like you should’ve just pretended to be asleep.

“This isn’t working, this can’t be what love is supposed to feel like. We should just-“ Mark shushes you with a kiss. It was his way of avoiding topics he didn’t wanna talk about.

Conversations like this always ended with the both of you tangled in sheets, muttering a bunch of “I love you’s” and “I’m sorry.” You’ll make a promise to never talk about splitting up again and he’ll promise to never give you a reason. But ultimately you both fall through on your promises.

[kitkatt0430]

In canon, of course, when Jason goes back to Gotham on his Lazarous Pit Fueled Rage Bender (TM), he sees Tim as Robin, a small kid in his old colors who probably doesn't fully understand the danger he's attracting from Batman's enemies or the exacting standards Bruce has that (like a lot of adults) he won't explain until you fail them (and maybe not even then) and...

And Jason doesn't see Tim for himself. Jason sees Tim as a stand in (replacement) for himself that Jason can project his feelings of failure and self hatred on to. I see a lot of the fandom having Jason apologize in part with a 'it wasn't about you and I shouldn't have made it about you, it was about Bruce' slant. And while that's great, love the much needed apologies and mending of their relationship in fanfic spaces but...

Jason does take his anger for Bruce out on Bruce. Jason takes his anger at himself out on Tim.

And while I wanna unpack that at some point, eventually... what if Jason saw Tim and instead of the pit rage kicking in to make Tim a dumping ground for his anger at himself... Jason saw Tim and saw a kid that needed to be saved. Saw himself, young and naive, thinking that Bruce was a hero who'd always be there for him and put him first. Trusting that Bruce would always believe Jason so long as he told the truth. Trusting his absent mother would love him when she came back into his life.

It's not a 'oh now that I've met Tim I realize my rage toward him is unreasonable' reaction (though I do enjoy those fics) but a 'never hated Tim in the first place, but is still seeing Tim as a stand in for himself' type thing.

Jason looks and sees what seems like a kid just like him standing where he used to and wants to do for that kid what he wished someone had done for him. So he... kidnaps Tim. With good intentions; he doesn't want to hurt Tim, but give Tim a soft place to land away from the dangers of being Robin. Tim wouldn't see it that way, but Jason starts the 'kidnapping to show his brotherly love' fanon thing early here.

Tim, of course, is super excited when he realizes his kidnapper, the Red Hood, is actually Jason somehow alive again. He connects the green eyes of glowy rage with the Lazarous Pit which at least explains why Jason is all angry-snappy about Bruce when Tim tries to get Jason to go home.

So Tim would start trying to figure out how to defuse the Bruce-related anger by explaining why he blackmailed his way into being Robin. And while Jason isn't in the right frame of mind to recognize he's being a bit unreasonable about being angry that Bruce didn't grieve for him in exactly the way Jason wants to have been grieved for - destructive rage towards the Joker instead of inwards self-hatred that Bruce was actually succumbing to - he does rightly recognize that Bruce needing to rely on a child to rein him back in was extremely harmful and unfair to Tim. Jason wants Tim to be angry about this, not understanding that Tim underwent very different kinds of abuse in his formative years.

Jason would get physically abused by Willis and while Catherine meant well, her dependency on her son as her caretaker while she got high was it's own kind of emotional abuse. It was anger that gave Jason the strength to protect himself and stand up for himself and others. Righteous anger can be a good thing, it can fuel the desire to change things for the better. But anger can also be exhausting and it's an emotion where it can make everything look like a nail to it's hammer. And I do like the idea that caught in the Pit Rage's influence, Jason would experience both kinds of anger in a heightened way. Smacking at Batman and Joker and Black Mask and lesser targets like nails to hammer. But also righteous anger and a desire to protect and help kids like him. Like Tim.

But Tim's reaction to the abusive levels of neglect his parents saddled him with has left Tim with a crippling need to be perfect while accepting that doing so will only achieve a minimum level of attention. He's attention starved and touch starved and expects his best - which is often better than others but how would he know that? - not to be good enough. What Jason identifies, rightly, as Bruce behaving badly towards a kid (at least in Tim's stories about his early days as Robin) is actually an improvement over his parents in Tim's eyes. Honestly, the better Tim is treated, the more confused he gets right now, so some of what Bruce has been up to more recently with him has probably left Tim utterly bewildered and making incorrect assumptions why Bruce is acting that way.

(Has Bruce identified the problem with Tim's parents and been genuinely making efforts to help Tim that Tim doesn't recognize because he's been taught that he's an imposition and Bruce isn't actually trained to identify the correct way to handle this kind of situation? Probably, but that's not what this idea is about.)

And so we have this battle of wills going on. Jason trying to keep Tim safe from harm and far away from his revenge plans. But constantly having to up the Robin proofing of where he's keeping Tim stashed because Tim keeps trying to summon Batman for a family reunion. The two of them having heart to hearts during the day, desperately trying to understand each other and get through the other's stubbornness.

I honestly don't know where this would wind up by the end, but the front half of the idea feels relatively solid.

Also Bruce is totally melting down over Tim being missing. Tim's parents probably haven't noticed yet. Alfred has probably been going out with his shotgun while no one is paying attention to him and trying to glean info on who took Tim in his own way. (His pseudo grandson is missing after the one before him died and Alfred doesn't at least make threats in an attempt to find out who took him? Nope, Alfred is being proactive about this. I can see this leading him to Red Hood and Jason just being relieved that Alfred, at least, isn't gonna judge him harshly for having guns as his weapons of choice.)

(Alfred - *threatening to shoot Red Hood for taking Tim*

Jason - So this means Alfred won't judge me for shooting bad guys, yes?)

[pascaloverx]

Moonlight

Summary: You and Edward Cullen used to have a romantic relationship. But fate seemed not to believe in the possibility of a vampire and a potential she-wolf being together. Years after your separation, you return to Forks. Edward is committed to Bella Swan, and Jacob Black has his own pack. What happens when, upon your return, you begin to transform into a she-wolf and both Edward and Jacob seem eager to revisit the past with you?

Author's Note: The characters in this fanfic do not belong to me but to Stephenie Meyer and the Twilight universe. The story blends events that happened in the Twilight saga movies with invented ones. If you're enjoying the fanfic, please interact. This story will contain inappropriate language, a possible love triangle, scenes of violence, and romance. I would appreciate it if those who enjoy the fanfic could leave a comment and like (kudos). Engagement helps me know that there are still people reading. This chapter contains adult content. Minors should not interact with or read this story.

NINE ELEVEN

TEN (+18)

Despite the kiss you and Edward shared, nothing has been rekindled between the two of you. Things feel strange, as if neither of you wants to take the next step. Honestly, you believe it's better this way—for things to move slowly, almost as if both of you are afraid of belonging to one another. Meanwhile, you're now living in your late parents' old house, giving the Black family a break.

"You know you didn’t have to move back into your old house just to get away from me? I can respect someone's personal space," Jacob says, holding one of the many boxes containing your belongings as he helps you settle into the house where you’ll be staying now. He assisted you with the entire move, even driving back to the city where you lived before coming to Forks to collect some furniture and appliances. Plus, you put your old place up for rent, deciding to stay in Forks. Fortunately, with your job, you can work remotely. So now you’re officially a resident of Forks. And Jacob is being dramatic; you’ll only be a few kilometers away from him, since your old home in Forks is near where Jacob lives.

"What I know is that I need privacy, and you need a social life. You were so determined to take care of me that you started neglecting yourself, Jake. You even let your beard grow. I love you, but facial hair and you just don’t mix. It was like a sign that we needed some boundaries in our relationship. And you can visit me whenever you want." You say, closing the car door while holding the last moving box in your hands.

Jacob laughs, genuinely, as he begins helping you unpack the remaining boxes. "I know I won’t convince you not to live in this house alone, so promise me that at the slightest hint of danger, you’ll call me. Victoria could still be out there, your safety is the highest…" Jacob starts to say, while pulling some books out of the box he's unpacking. You finish his sentence with, "Priority, I know," giving him a kiss on the cheek right after.

"How is your relationship with Bella Swan going?" you ask, trying to make conversation, though your curiosity is undeniable. Jacob has been secretive about anything that might upset him.

"She's not over Cullen. In fact, I don't think she will be any time soon," Jacob admits, his voice calm but carrying a hint of resignation. "I've decided to stop trying to be there for her romantically."

"I wouldn’t give up on Bella so easily. I mean, I don’t know her that well, but I can tell we have similar taste in romantic partners. So, I wouldn’t lose hope. It’s complicated to get over a love, but it doesn’t mean she’ll never be available again. Just give it time. But, to change the subject—how about I cook for us?" you say with a smile, almost certain Jacob remembers the last time you were in charge of the meal. It wasn’t your finest moment in the kitchen, and by the look on his face, he definitely remembers.

"You don’t need to bother. I’ve got to head home anyway—there’s a small pack waiting for me. And… I think I should give you some privacy," Jacob says, glancing toward the half-open door. You turn around and see Edward standing there. You hadn’t expected him to come, not while things between you two are so uncertain, and certainly not while you’re moving into your parents’ old house—a place where vampires were far from welcome.

"You don't have to go," you say, more as an attempt to keep Jacob around as a buffer between you and Edward than anything else. Jacob shakes his head, as if he sees right through you, aware that you're trying to avoid yet another pointless conversation with Edward.

"Some love stories are easier to solve than others. Take care, and call me if you need anything," Jacob says, kissing your forehead in farewell before walking away. As he passes Edward, they exchange a brief look but say nothing to each other. Jacob shifts into his wolf form and disappears into the woods, leaving you standing there, staring at Edward. You open the door to your house wider, stepping outside to the top of the stairs. Edward stops at the bottom of the steps, his gaze locked on yours. The distance between you feels both too far and too close.

"Uncertainty is the home of misunderstandings. For as long as I can remember, my life has been surrounded by it. Our entire relationship is uncertain, from the very beginning to this moment, nothing is ever one hundred percent clear. But I'm tired. I could live for eternity, and yet the wait for you to finally give in, to come looking for me, nearly destroyed me. One kiss, and you were satisfied? You want nothing more from me?" Edward's voice rises, sharp and clear, as if anger or perhaps frustration had finally taken hold of him. You can feel the weight of his words, each one filled with an emotion that stirs something deep within you.

"You shouldn't be here," you say, your voice barely holding steady, almost as if you're weakening under the weight of his presence. His gaze pierces through you, reaching deep into your soul, and it's as if you've lost control of yourself. Every instinct inside you screams that holding onto the idea of Edward as the man for you is foolish. Yet, as he looks at you—like you are the center of his universe—something inside you whispers to let go, to surrender to what you've fought so hard to deny. The struggle within you intensifies, caught between what you think you should do and what your heart wants to do.

“We've been at this for a long time. So why do we always seem to want more from each other?" you ask, your voice filled with disbelief that after everything, you're still drawn to Edward.

"There’s never enough time for us. What you don’t understand," he begins, stepping closer, his words laced with quiet intensity, "is that I’ve waited my entire existence to feel complete. And the only time I don’t feel hollow, when I’m not haunted by the emptiness, is when I’m with you. You consume me day and night. For everything that is sacred, I could spend eternity just looking at you, and it still wouldn’t be enough."

You inhale deeply, his words pulling at the feelings you’ve tried to bury. "The way you talk, it always sounds like you forget Bella exists. But I know… I know you felt something real for her," you say, waiting for him to acknowledge it.

A tense silence falls between you, and Edward’s expression hardens slightly, though his gaze never wavers. "She'll always be a part of me. Is that what you want to hear?" he asks, his voice steady. "I won’t deny the truth to you. But you… you are in me. When you’re gone, I feel lost, wondering where you are. And when I’m with you, no distance, no closeness is ever enough. If you asked it of me, I’d burn the world down for you, just to stand in the flames beside you."

His voice drops, as if the weight of his confession has been too long held inside. "You make me yours without even trying. And I’m tired of explaining it. Every part of me belongs to you. So why don’t you claim me? Why don’t you take me for yourself?"

"I'm scared, Edward," you finally confess, as if releasing a heavy burden from your conscience. A wave of relief washes over your mind as the words leave your lips. He steps closer, without hesitation, until he's standing right in front of you, his eyes locked on yours, as though he's trying to understand every fragment of your fear. Without saying a word, Edward lifts his hand, and with an almost incomprehensible gentleness, wipes away the tears that fall involuntarily from your face. His touch is tender, and for a moment, the world seems to shrink, leaving just the two of you in this fragile yet profound intimacy.

"Share your fear with me," Edward says softly, holding your hands and kissing them gently as he looks into your eyes. "Don't bear any of these feelings alone—that's what I mean. I want you to understand. I want to be the person you share your burdens with. Can you do that?" he asks, his voice tender and sincere. For a moment, you avoid meeting his gaze, feeling the weight of his words. But then, slowly, you nod in agreement, signaling that you're ready to try, even if it scares you.

"Do you want to come in?" you ask softly, moving closer to Edward, closing your eyes as your lips hover near his, gentle but deliberate. There's no kiss yet, but it feels like you're inviting him, offering a moment that could lead to so much more. Entering the house becomes more than just stepping inside—it’s an invitation to enter your life fully, to claim a place in your heart, soul, and body. A quiet, profound offering of everything you are.

"I want to," he whispers against your lips, claiming them instantly. At first, his lips draw yours in as if there were honey on his mouth, his tongue exploring yours and taking control of the kiss. You hold onto his hair, wrapping your arms around his shoulders, only to be surprised as he presses your body against the closed door of your house.

"We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to…" he murmurs, breaking the kiss for a moment. You smile, finding it amusing that you both seem like teenagers again.

"I want to claim what is mine," you respond, gripping the collar of his shirt and pulling him closer to you with one hand while you open the door with the other.

Your hands start to grip Edward's back, while your lips were so close together that you seemed to almost be one. "I'm yours, forever if you want," he said as you kissed him. Without delay, you took off his shirt, almost in an animalistic way. Your hands running over his chest as you kiss him.

"I'm yours too. At least for this moment, we belong to each other," you then feel him come at you. He uses his vampiric speed and practically throws you against the wall, with a force almost capable of breaking it. You smile, even liking this dominant side of him, as you remove your own clothes.

"Promise me you won't regret this moment tomorrow?" Edward says as he rips his pants off his body as if he was desperate. You kiss him, a calmer kiss as if you wanted to affirm something to him.

"I promise you, I won't regret it. Now, my sweet vampire, there's a room upstairs where I'd like to feast on your cock as soon as possible." You say teasingly, giving him a little kiss and he takes you in his arms, wrapping your body around his. The next moment you feel your body along with Edward's cross the bedroom door. The bastard didn't even try to open the door, he just used his strength to push the two of you through it. "I hope you know you're going to pay me to fix this door," you whisper close to his ear as he holds you.

"It'll be worth every penny," he replies and then throws your body on the bed. Not with the same force he used to break the door but luckily you're a wolf. It has the capacity to withstand all his strength, and more. When he leans down to kiss you, you grab his hair back tightly. He holds both of your legs, lifting them a little and spreading them. You can feel your pussy getting wet as you feel Edward's fingers trail up your leg to your thigh, close to your pussy.

"I missed feeling you like this," Edward whispers softly against your neck as his fingers stimulate your wet pussy, making you moan softly. "So ready for me," he says as he puts two fingers inside you, stimulating you. You arch your body, feeling him put his fingers deeper and deeper inside you, accurately. Your moans could be heard as Edward focused on kissing your neck, passionately. You wrap your legs around his waist.

"Fuck me, please..." You beg as you feel like you're going to cum on Edward's fingers at any moment. His eyes lock on you and he pulls his fingers out of you. He kisses you hard, urgently as if he needs to taste your lips to continue. Then he completely removes his underwear and stuck his dick in you. At first his thrusts were very slow as if he was afraid of hurting you. "Edward, you don't have to control yourself," you mumble honestly as you're about to get frustrated, thankfully being heard when Edward finally buries his cock inside you. Without much to say, he thrusts one thrust after another inside you; take it slow. As his cock fills you, he keeps his hands busy holding your legs tightly to keep them open.

"You're delicious, darling. We should spend more time apart if we're always going to end up like this." Edward He whispers in your ear as he thrusts into you again, and you are completely lost between feeling him penetrating you and the moans you are letting out. When you feel like you are going to cum, you grab him, digging your nails deep into his back. In a moment he kisses your mouth, sucking your tongue and holding your legs tight as he cums deep inside you. Then you melt with him still inside you, while you and he become a mixture of pleasure, sweat and marks on your body.

[msnihilist]

Rules Are Rules by Miss_Nihilist

Summary: The clock strikes midnight on Timmy's eighteen birthday, and Jorgen arrives to take his fairy family away along with all of his memories of magic.

...Except that things never quite go according to plan when Timmy Turner is involved.

PREVIEW:

11:57 PM

Timmy Turner had experienced countless perils in his short life, any one of which would make a sane person's head spin. He had faced off against space-faring warlords, bonafide supervillains, ancient evil, and even the horrors of U.S. public education. He had jumped volcanos and traveled to other dimensions and bested some of the most evil minds faekind had to offer. Through all of it, Timmy had grit his teeth, pushed through, and come out the other side victorious.

He could honestly say that he had never been as terrified as he was now. 

Timmy trembled like a leaf in the wind (and why was he was shaking, when had that happened?) as Wanda and Cosmo tried in vain to murmur reassurances to him. Poof was sitting in his lap and doing his best to look brave. Even though he was still too young to grasp the intensity of this moment, Poof was doing his best to comfort Timmy by hugging him tight.

It only made Timmy feel worse. Poof was eight, now, and Timmy was never going to get to see him grow any older than that. In a few minutes, he wouldn't remember that he had a little brother at all. He wanted to be sick.

"Ho-How is t-t-this fair?" Timmy asked through his chattering teeth. "Th-They c-can't just gi-ve me ever-everythin-g I ever wanted and then t-t-take it away."

Sure, the wishes were nice. But Timmy had never stayed up at night crying over Vicky's torments and his parents' neglect because he wanted magic. He wanted a family and, when he was nine, he got one. 

And now he was going to lose them.

Read this fanfic on AO3.

[flaxensmile]

Neglected

OOOOOOOOKAY, before you guys read this, I have some things to say. This is my first time posting on Tumblr, and I'm absolutely sobbing. I usually keep my fanfics stored away to collect dust, and FOR ONCE I'm publishing SOMETHING. BTW this IS smut. So y'all are in for a ride. PS. Graves is so hot oml.

Also, this is around: 2100 words :)

MINORS DON'T READ, PLEASE. <33

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Smut warnings here: Masturbation, keeping quiet, Y/N getting caught, and fingering. (Tell me if I ever need to add any more. I'm not really sure what to put here when you guys know it's smut.)

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Graves had been your boyfriend for a couple of years. He was often off on missions, coming back stone cold before you fled to his arms. Maybe it was your dependency on him like a fresh fawn that didn't know your right from your left. A poor girl that needed him, and he could so easily have you in bed within minutes. This last time he returned, he didn't spring back as usual. He had been cold and distant, staying inside his office and working on paperwork you couldn't see. Some document or another that was not intended for your civilian eyes to witness what your country may be doing behind closed doors.

Of course, you gave him his space, but it was starting to get to the point where you were left in an empty bed while he was in his office. You had been in cold sheets before, but, this time, he had the option to sleep, and yet he waited till the morning. You haven't seen him in the span of months, and yet not a single hand was placed upon your body. Restlessness became common in your nightly routine. You were left with your devices when you had a random surge of heat between your legs. You were being ignored, neglected, and you couldn't stop them from heating the sheets around you. 

At first, you were distracting yourself. It was anything that you could. Cleaning, working out, going out with friends, and nothing kept the heat from reappearing in your downtime. Of course, when you needed Graves, he was working on something you couldn't even see. Locked away behind the door of his office. That seemed to only mock you as you would steal glances from it.

Now, you were in the shower, trying this so-called distraction method you had been doing, hoping that the water would wash away any impure thoughts that had formed. The water ran down your body. The heated liquid created steam within the confined walls of your bathroom. Moisture swirled in your lungs, causing your breath to labor, and that's when you felt it again. 

The ache.

The pain.

It was starting to get to the point where you couldn't deny it. Distractions could only bring so much solace to your nerves, and now you were paying the price.

The God-awful price.

Somehow every touch from the rain of the shower water caused small sparks, causing you to lightly twitch. It was embarrassing to have such a pain when your boyfriend of two years was sitting in his damn office. Your first mistake was to think about him. His glasses hung on the lower part of his nose as he mindlessly chewed on his lower lip. The tap of his pen as he held it firmly with his fingers.

His fingers.

Goddamnit. You were setting yourself up for failure as you thought about him. The ache had just become too much for you. You need something. Anything. The pads of your fingers snaked down your stomach, teasing the shocking sensation between your legs. You could almost taste the sense of victory to finally find release, yet you couldn't help but wish it was Graves’.

His hand would appear from behind your vision as he took his sweet time teasing every spot he had learned from his times with you. The thought of his possessive whispers that soaked into the skin of your neck. They had become unspoken rules–prophecies that you couldn't deny or rebel against as the god himself held you down. 

You were under his rule–his command as he took what he wanted. Everything swirled within your brain as your fingers danced across your cunt. Embarrassment hit your cheeks as you already felt the slick between the folds. You were like a goddamn animal–a fiend that should be shamed for being so utterly helpless to a simple temptation. 

Teeth clamped down onto the soft skin of your lower lip as you held down whimpers and soft moans from the exploration of your fingers. The neglect allowed your body to become more sensitive– more accessible to the sheet-gripping pleasure that had surged up your legs and sent it straight to your brain.

It was mind-numbing as one hand flattened against the shower wall to keep yourself upright. Steam seemed to flood from your mouth as you inhaled it with shallow breaths. 

Fuck. You shouldn't have been the one doing this to yourself when your boyfriend was in the other room. This was his job– his expertise and yet, here you were letting your fingers slip within your own folds and doing his job. Your eyebrows furrowed as the damp air collected on your skin. Half of you wanted to barge into his office and demand him of something he had neglected for so long. You deserved it, didn't you? Being the faithful, cute, innocent girlfriend as he got to sit there owning you like a damn trophy.

The hand that held you up in the shower turned into a fist. Anger was your attempt to rebel against his martial law as your fingers increased their speed. It made you clamp your jaw knowing that Graves would hear you from the thin walls between his office and the bathroom.

Of course, an evil, twisted part of you wanted to be loud. Show him that you were pleasuring yourself without him even near you, but part of your throat tightened, causing you to keep quiet. You were just a small, frail fawn living with a wolf that would tear you limb for limb if you didn't stay within your line.

Your fate had been sealed since the day you met him.

Water dripped down your body as your fingers found the right pressure, causing small tremors down your legs. It was hard to keep yourself up with the pleasure your hand was aiding you. Shallow breaths left you before they ceased once the sound of a rolling chair slid across the wood flooring with force. The sudden sound made you stop as heavy footsteps followed.

You fell in the same line within seconds as you tried to act as if you weren't on the edge of climaxing off your own fingers. Those same fingers gathered soap onto them and acted as if you were still cleaning yourself as the footsteps stopped at the bathroom door.

Shit, did you forget to lock it?

The door creaked open as you heard the ruffle of clothes.

Fuck. You are so fucking screwed.

Graves' light grunts of him taking off the clothing filled the bathroom. He was going to walk into the damn shower.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

You chanted the same word as you added in a prayer that God existed and saved you from this man, yet he let you down right as the curtain for the shower opened behind you. Not once had you ever had chills in the shower before Graves stepped in.

"Sorry, darlin'. I heard you takin’ a shower, and I just couldn't help myself.” He said with a low tone, avoiding most of the humor as his hand went to your waist. The touch sent a small shiver down your spine. Each nerve lit with a hint of fear and embarrassment.

Fuck, were you loud? No way, you hadn't made a sound, right?

Your thoughts swirled as his fingers on your waist brought you to his chest. A light smack of their skin hitting filled the bathroom as your breath hitched. Graves leaned down to your ear as his breath lightly tickled the hairs on the back of your neck.

“Maybe I haven't been paying enough attention to you.” 

He heard you.

The thick swallow down your throat was enough evidence to him. Your rebellion had been caught, and now you had to pay the fucking price.

Graves’ hands went down to your hip, tracing small patterns into the skin as you couldn't make eye contact with him. “Maybe I need to make you learn how to look at me when I'm talking to you.” He murmured against your neck before lightly kissing it. This was his calm before the storm. The fact he hadn't pushed you against a wall by now was surprising.

You didn't know what to do. His grasp on you wasn't something you could just slip out of and forget like it never happened. Graves’ claws were sunk into your flesh, creating a well of possession down your veins. It was like a poison that made your knees weak and your breath shamelessly shallow.

Every word of protest you had earlier was gone. It disappeared into the misty air around the bathroom and you had furiously turned into the weak prey. Nothing about this made you completely upset, he was giving you more attention than he had the entire week he had been home. “Mm, you seem to know exactly what I'm talking about, dontcha?” 

A shiver ran down your spine once again. “You're not exactly the most quiet.” Graves murmured as his fingers slowly inched to your cunt. You were fighting the feeling of helplessness as you watched his two fingers slowly inch down to your needy flesh. His fingers teased the folds, causing you to lightly gasp.

“You just can’t keep it in ya, can you? ” He said as a dark smirk came across his face. His fingers delved deeper, and it somehow made you furious at how he so easily took control. Graves wasn't learning a thing, only coming in and taking you as if he hadn't been neglecting you for a week. “Did it feel good? Teasing me like that while I tried to work on my paperwork?” Graves teased as his fingers worked in circles.

Your hand went back onto the shower wall as his fingers worked so much better than your own. Graves knew the right amount of pressure and consistency. It made your head lighten and fall like how your knees wanted to sweep from under you. 

“And you're fuckin’ wet, Jesus sweetheart.” Somehow through the haze, you got your anger back. It bit the sides of your cheeks as you gritted your teeth.

“We’re in the shower. Of course, I'm gonna be wet.” You bit back in a surge of confidence. There was no way you were going to let it go to waste. It didn't matter if your teeth didn't stick in, but it made you feel as if you weren't giving up.

Graves only laughed with pure amusement. His fingers continued to roll the sensitive skin of your clit as you tried to fight off his motions. “Don't try to lie to me, sweetheart. I know the difference between your slick and water.” He said before letting his fingers go down to your entrance. 

Fuck. You're a fucking gonner. Maybe surrendering was the better option.

The guttural moan that left you as his fingers curled within you made your eyes slightly roll back. It was borderline embarrassing to see how much damage he could do to you with just his fingers. You wanted to bite back. Sneer at him with bared teeth, but you knew his white pears were sharper, more profound as he had ripped into you before.

How could a prey fight against her predator? The monster that seeks out her torture?

Your legs were shaking and your body kept close to his as you used him as a pillar to keep you up. The water from the shower became needles into your back. Their pricks reminded you of your place as Graves started to thrust his fingers in and out of you. He knew how to make you kneel, and it had become your ultimate flaw. The fact you couldn't sink your teeth down anywhere made you embarrassed, yet you had the thrill of being preyed upon.

As sick as that reality was, it was the one you were in. A cycle of being hunted as Graves kept hitting your G-spot over and over again with his fingers. It wasn't long until you climaxed, letting out a whiny whimper and a shudder. Graves silently chuckled against your collarbone as his hand retreated from you. The slick washed away from his fingers as he lightly kissed your neck.

“Atta girl.” He praised before leaning back and watching you from behind as you shuddered and shook from the intense pressure of your climax. “But I ain't done yet. I need you in the bedroom in ten minutes.” Graves said before leaving the shower and heading out of the bathroom door.

You were fucked.