#needless to say that i now need to know what her second-favourite dream is

[c-schroed]

So if I tend Her garden, I can get a look at Her oranges?

As usual, the Fallen London Wiki leaves me with nothing to add.

[mcyt-kalopsia]

Reacting to Your Death

So obviously I didn’t write all of them, but here’s how I interpret the SMP members that are written would react to you dying. 

Warnings: Spoilers for Tommy’s latest stream (Literally like one offhand), obviously death, lots of angst, violence mentions, Schlatt for anyone who doesn’t like him I suppose

Theme: angst, obviously it’s just them and how they deal with your death.

Characters; all the ones with (p) are strictly platonic but the others are up to personal interpretation: Dream, George, Sapnap, Wilbur, Techno, Schlatt, Tubbo (p), Ranboo (p), Tommy (p), Awesamdude, Niki, Karl, Quackity, Minx, Badboyhalo, Phil, DreamXD, Skeppy, Fundy.

DREAM:

- The first few days and nights, all he could do was sit inside all day. 

- No matter who visited to comfort him, he felt a horribly large part of his heart had been ripped away when you died.

- He thought about the day when you finally told him that a dirt shack wouldn’t do for a house, so you two spent days building an actual house.

- After those first few days, he decided he would bring you back. 

- The revive book had worked for Tommy and Wilbur, so it had to work for you. 

- He swore he would bring you back. So he did.

GEORGE:

- He didn’t know how to feel at first. He would get terribly depressed, then angry, and then numb, over and over.

- After a week of this, he then could hardly stop crying. What was he going to do without you? The realisation that he was without you hit him like a truck.

- Whenever he would go out with friends, he made it a habit to pick one of your favourite flowers each day. 

SAPNAP:

- He was crushed. He acted out more and more often out of anger to avoid his sadness and hurt, but when he was alone all he did was try so, so hard not to cry. 

- Bruised and bloodied knuckles were his most worn accessory.

- Often slept in your house, as a way to feel closer to you. He spends a lot more time in your house than his.

- Always remembered your birthday, but every birthday just made him more sad. 

- Eventually he would go to Dream about the revive book too.

WILBUR:

- You had been the only one to see past his flaws in a wary way, and he was heartbroken when you died.

- He often sat on your porch and sang songs he had once sang to you, as well as songs he knew you’d loved, and songs he’d written for you. 

- He was the one to make your grave, and had promised to be kinder.

- Though he loved being alive, he didn’t like that you couldn’t also have a second chance at life as well and felt it unfair.

- Probably resorted to a little bit of violence once he got to the anger stage of grieving.

TECHNOBLADE:

- He was always a pretty quiet guy, but when you died he went silent for weeks aside from when he was alone.

- When he was alone, he went into his library. He found all of your favourite books, worn and bent on pages from you reading them over and over, and he would read them aloud. 

- He hoped you could hear him from wherever you were as he read the books you had loved.

- He spent a lot of time awake as he did this, oftentimes getting very invested in what you had loved.

- If he wasn’t reading, usually he was in bed, wondering about how he couldn’t save you. 

SCHLATT:

- Of course, in public he looked composed as he usually was, as if it wasn’t eating him up inside that you were gone.

- “Who was that again?”

- When alone, he falls apart immediately. 

- People assume that when he’s waking up at near to noon it’s because he’s drinking, but it’s really because your death kept him up all night every night.

- He hardly even drank now, because of the secret promise he’d made to you.

- Though you were dead now, he still wanted to keep his promise, just in case.

TUBBO:

- Was the one who made everyone promise to get along when Wilbur made the funeral.

- Was entrusted with the love and care of your stuffed animals or anything from your childhood.

- Has your old childhood photos framed along with his own, so others often stop by to look at the photos to remember you by.

- Probably has your old horse as well, and takes really good care of them.

RANBOO:

- You two had been really close friends before you died. You were such good friends that he didn’t even need his book to remember you were friends, so of course he was absolutely crushed.

- Though he tried his best to stay stable to avoid certain things, he was upset.

- He definitely gave a speech at your funeral.

- He often sits in your room, talking aloud as if you were still with him.

- He would often repeat old jokes you used to tell each other, laughing softly and trying his best to not get too upset.

- If he wasn’t in your room, he was in your old garden tending to your flowers.

TOMMY:

- He’s also more aggressive like Sapnap, except moreso verbally.

- He blames himself heavily for what happened to you, and he mentally beats himself up about it all the time.

- “It was my fault Y/N’s dead, I get it!”

- He’s not much of a cryer.

AWESAMDUDE:

- All of his pain and sadness get put aside with work. He works harder, he makes it so he hardly has time to think about it.

- When he does think about it, he just feels so heavy the rest of the day, like thinking about your death has sucked the rest of the day’s energy from him.

- Sometimes he’s teased for suddenly being so sluggish and unlike himself, but he can’t even muster the energy to explain that he was thinking about you and how he missed you so badly that it hurt him deeply.

- To say the least, he felt like he had believed too much in you having more time. He should have known not to trust in fate.

NIKI:

- She for sure has any other pets you had. She takes extra good care of them.

- There’s a little spot in her garden dedicated to you.

- She had shut down for a good while after your funeral, where she hardly spoke to anyone and often lay in bed all day to try and remember you.

- Although as time went on, she decided you would have hated seeing her in bed all day like that and started doing her normal routines.

KARL:

- He knew he should have seen it coming, but… somehow, he didn’t.

- He felt a little guilty about this thought, and it often kept him from doing any normal tasks.

- He misses the days when one of you felt bad so the other would do everything in their power to make them feel better. 

- Needless to say, he started writing letters to you, even if it was just to keep himself a little busy.

QUACKITY:

- Laughing Through the Pain™

- He spends a lot more time making sure people aren’t worried, by making really bad jokes as usual.

- The only times he cries are when he thinks too much about you, regardless of if he’s alone or not. Sometimes it makes encounters awkward.

- He’s just sobbing one time while in the midst of a conversation with someone and he’s just like “sorry man I was thinking about Y/N” and they are just like “...oh”

MINX:

- Aggressive but make it threatening and nothing more. 

- “If you don’t fucking shut up about Y/N I’ll knock yer teeth in”

- She just wants to be alone sometimes. She just wants to be alone so maybe the pain will stop being so bad.

- Also not much of a cryer unless it’s late at night.

BADBOYHALO:

- “You little muffin… I told you not to get yourself into danger..”

- He loves to talk about you whenever people bring an old interest up.

- “I remember how much Y/N loved these…” He’s staring at the flowers nearby. He’s smiling sadly. 

- Often shares good memories of you with others to help them cope a little.

- He’s sad, but he knows it would do him no good to be so miserable that he can’t do anything. And he knows how much you would scold him if he stopped being himself completely.

PHIL:

- He names a parrot after you, naturally.

- He’s not gone as often now because he likes to stop by your grave and just talk. 

- He collects things that remind him of you and puts them in a special chest marked with your name. Sometimes it’s things you said were cool, other times it’s just things that he associates with you.

- Drinks your favourite teas.

DREAMXD:

- Would absolutely just go “lmao” in the chat and then leave again

- That’s it, that’s him.

SKEPPY:

- No more silly pranks with him :( no more memeing on others…

- It hits him hard

- Like Quackity, he makes a lot of jokes to mask how upset he is.

- Of course, he has Bad, but damn was it still difficult to deal with your passing.

FUNDY:

- :(

- He’s so sad that he doesn’t even want to do anything or go anywhere.

- It feels like his whole world just stopped and that nothing could hurt worse than this, and he doesn’t even want to face this sadness.

- He often goes out into the woods to climb trees like the two of you used to do.

[theseusernamesarehard]

Heavenly pastries and mediocre coffee - Fred Weasley

Pairing: Fred Weasley x fem!reader

Summary: On an adventure for some coffee one morning, Fred Weasley happens to wonder into a bakery where he meets a flour covered woman who will leave quite the impression on him.

Warnings: None except this might be a bit boring :/

Time: This takes place the summer before the war so in the beginning of the Half-Blooded prince

A/N: Hi! This is my second fic on here and I would love some feedback especially since it’s a tad different from my other one (meaning that this might be a tad more boring). I had this idea and wrote it out, but while reading it I realized that nothing happens in this. So I would love to know if you enjoy calmer fics like this since I still liked this one!

Word count: 2,8k

gif isn’t mine credit to whoever made it!

“Oi, Fred!” George yelled from downstairs while Fred was still struggling to get out of bed.

“Whaaaat?” he groaned.

“The coffee machine is broken and I cannot fix it for the life of me.”

“Have you tried reparo?” Fred said as he got out and walked to the kitchen where George was standing next to steaming coffee maker.

“Have I tri-Of course I’ve tried reparo! What do you think I am, a bloody idiot?”

“Fine, fine. What do you reckon we do? I’d much rather have a coffee this morning, but I don’t think there’s time to go to a café before we have to open the shop.”

“I can handle the shop if you go get coffee? I’m sure there’s a good place around here somewhere.”

“All right, I’ll go. Want anything special?”

“Just a normal coffee and a pastry of some sort.”

“I’ll be back as soon as I can!” Fred promised as he rushed back to his room to get dressed.

“I’ll get everything set up!” George promised.

In twenty minutes, Fred was exiting the shop, now fully dressed and hair still a little damp from his shower. He was on a quest to find a good place for coffee, which there were surprisingly little of on Diagon Alley. Finally, after walking around for a bit, he saw a little bakery that he was quite certain hadn’t been there for long. He entered with a hope that they had at least some sort of machine that produced anything caffeinated and walked up to an empty counter where he rang the bell.

After a moment, a woman erupted through a door that presumably led to the back space of the bakery. She was calm and walked over peacefully despite the fact that her face was almost completely covered in flour.

“Good morning and welcome to Bailey’s bakery! What can I get started for you?” she said enthusiastically, but Fred was trying his hardest to hold in his laughter, so he couldn’t answer right away. “What? Do I have something on my face?” she asked innocently, but the corners of her mouth were twitching as well.

“Perhaps a bit of flour, but it’s barely noticeable. Bailey, I assume?” he asked after chuckling slightly.

“Oh no, I’m actually Y/N. Bailey, the owner, is in the back preparing all the baked goods and trust me, that’s how you want it. I’m truly horrendous at baking.”

“If you don’t bake how do you have all that flour on your face?”

“Well let’s just say Bailey has been a bit stressed with the opening of this place and was not having any of my antics today.”

“So she threw flour at you?”

“Exactly.”

“I don’t think bosses are supposed to treat their employees like that.”

“They are when the employees are their best friend since Hogwarts and truth be told the aforementioned employee kind of deserve it.”

“I don’t know if anyone deserves a face full of flour first thing in the morning.”

“Well that just comes to show that you haven’t met me before. Now, what can I get for you?”

“Right, I meant to ask, do you have any coffee here?”

“Oh yes we do! And it is in fact extremely mediocre.”

“Aren’t you supposed to say it’s excellent?”

“Well see now that’s the trick. If I say the coffee is excellent, you’ll know I’m saying it just because I am meant to sell it. But if I say the coffee is mediocre, your interest is peaked and you’ll have no choice, but to try it and see for yourself. Am I correct?”

“I suppose I am more intrigued by the coffee now.”

“Exactly. So technically, this is a better way of selling coffee.”

“You are right.”

“So a coffee it is. Here or to go?”

“Two coffees actually. And both to go.”

“Two? Seems as though I am a better saleswoman than I thought.”

“Perhaps you should open your own shop.”

“As much as I clearly have a knack for selling things, I think I fair better as a worker who offers anecdotes about coffee and then pours that coffee”, she laughed and presented her skill to dot he latter. “Anything else?”

“Yes, actually. I was asked to bring some sort of baked good, but I have been given no other instructions. Any recommendations?”

“I’ll go and see what our ever-so-cheerful baker would say.”

With that, the young woman walked to the door and stood behind it to open it so that she was not in front of the door when it was opened. She clearly knew what she was doing as another handful of flour was thrown out the door onto the floor immediately.

“Ha! Missed me”, she smiled, now standing at the door. Unfortunately that was when she got another face full of flour, but she just shrugged at Fred and grinned widely. “I’ve also got a customer here, don’t know if that’s worth mentioning.”

“You do not!” a woman’s voice yelled in horror.

“Oh yes I do. A very lovely gentleman who needs some recommendations on baked goods. have any to offer him?” she smiled.

“Go get yourself cleaned up, I’ll take it from here”, a frantic looking woman with an apron and a bit of flour on her forehead appeared from the door and pushed her grinning friend inside. “I am so sorry sir. We are not usually this unprofessional it has just been quite the morning. It’s just me and her right now and she has a tendency to get a bit snarky, so hopefully she wasn’t too bad”, the woman, who Fred figured was Bailey, started to ramble.

“Oh not at all, she was an excellent saleswoman I’d say.”

“Well good. Now you apparently need to be recommended something to eat?”

Fred mostly zoned out on the conversation with Bailey although she seemed to be very passionate about baked goods, asking multiple questions which he tried to answer. Unfortunately his thoughts were quite focused on the worker who he had been talking with. 

After a lot longer than expected, he was finally returned to the shop, which was now full of customers and went to find George who seemed to be on the edge of a nervous breakdown.

“Thank god you’re here! Where did you go to get coffee? Ireland?” he asked as he took the cup of coffee and pastry bag with a simple pain au chocolate inside it.

“Found this new bakery with some interesting workers”, Fred chuckled.

“You can tell me about it later, ‘cause right now we have a shop full of customers and I cannot handle it by myself anymore!”

“Let’s get to work then!”

The next morning George entered their kitchen and figured he must still be dreaming. He had never seen Fred this cheerful on this time of day (Christmas as children didn’t count) without any coffee.

“What are you doing up already?”

“I figured since the coffee machine is still broken I’d go to that coffee shop again”, Fred explained. “This time a bit earlier so you don’t have to manage the shop all by yourself for as long.”

“So which one is it?”

“What?”

“Yesterday you told me there were two women working at that bakery so which one do you have a crush on?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“I bet it’s the worker, not the owner. The one with flour all over her face.”

“I do not have a crush on either of them!”

“Oh please! You never wake up early and besides, if you didn’t have a crush you would’ve made me go get the coffee since you did it yesterday. So which one is it?”

“This is completely ridiculous. I’m going!” Fred declared and left to the shop.

“Get me another one of those pastries!” his brother yelled after him.

George smiled from the satisfaction of knowing he had hit the nail on the head. Fred on the other hand chose to ignore him. Sure he had thought that Y/N was funny, charming and she seemed to be a sight for sore eyes with and without the flour all over her face. 

He got further proof of this when he entered the shop and saw her ringing up a customer this time face clean. She had her hair in a slight updo away from her face and was smiling while she thanked the customer and handed them their pastry.

“Good morning again. Here for more coffee?” she asked.

“I am indeed. Two cups to go again, to be specific, please”, he replied and she got on with pouring the coffee. “And my brother found his pastry tasted like, and I quote, ‘it had cascaded down from heaven into his mouth’ so I have been asked to bring another one.”

“I’ll tell the baker her work was appreciated and get another one in a second. Would you like anything else?”

“I think I’m obligated to try this heavenly chocolate thing, since he didn’t give me any yesterday.”

“I’ll go get those for you”, she smiled and Fred couldn’t help, but notice how her smile seemed to light up her whole face.

Needless to say, the twins didn’t get a new coffee machine. George made fun of Fred for it quite a bit, but as long as he had his pain au chocolate there was no way he was going to actually complain. Fred kept on going there and talking with her while they waited for his pastries to get baked or while she was pouring him coffee was his favourite part of the day. He couldn’t help, but notice that even when she had other customers, although she joked around with them for a bit, she would always return to him and continue their conversation while she was done ringing them up or telling them to wait for their baked goods. This was all the encouragement he needed to ask her out and after a week of going there and talking with her every morning, he realized that there was no way he wasn’t going to do it So he walked to the bakery and smiled slightly when her face was once again full of flour.

“Morning Fred.”

“Bailey stressed again?” he smirked.

“Yep. There was some misunderstanding with the supplier and now we have 10 extra sacs of flour. I very politely asked if she would like me to get annoying again so she can throw it at me and looks like that was enough for her.”

“You seem like a very helpful worker.”

“Oh yes, I’m indeed excellent to have around. So the usual?”

“The usual.”

“Two mediocre coffees and two chocolate things coming right up.”

“You know, I meant to talk to you about that, because I have a complaint.”

“Really? Is it the flour throwing? Because unless we throw it at you I don’t think you have the right to complain.”

“No, I’m accusing you of false advertising.”

“Her name really is Bailey, if that’s what this is about. I’m sure I can find a way to get her to show you her birth certificate.”

“This is actually about the coffee. About how you keep advertising it as mediocre? I’ve come to the conclusion that your coffee is actually quite good and definitely deserves to be described as such instead of mediocre.”

“Seems as though you haven’t had really good coffee then. Ours is definitely good, but it’s still right in the middle of the scale. It’s very possible that you just haven’t had any coffee that’s on the better side.”

“Where does one even find that kind of coffee then?”

“The secret is little muggle coffee shops. They have the best coffee ever! I think it’s because they never use any magic to speed up the process or anything. Has a really authentic taste.”

Just as Fred was about to suggest that she could show him one of those places he heard a familiar voice behind them.

“Fred! I didn’t know you come here too!” Lee Jordan laughed.

“Hi Lee, actually just found this place a few days ago.”

“Hi Lee”, Y/N smiled form behind the counter. 

“Hi Y/N, can I get a cup of coffee and one of those strawberry pastries you have?” Lee ordered. “To go.”

“Of course, I’ll go get some. We might be out of the french chocolate things that I don’t know how to say the name of, but Bailey can whip them up pretty fast if you don’t mind waiting there”, she explained, addressing the last part to Fred.

“Don’t mind at all”, Fred said and she disappeared behind the door. 

He was just in the middle of catching up with Lee when she returned with Lee’s pastry and started pouring him coffee, which made him excuse himself to go talk to her.

Fred didn’t catch that much of their conversation, but he started listening more carefully when he realized Lee seemed to be explaining some sort of date. talking about dinner, a walk and stuff like that.

“So how does that sound?” he asked by the end of his explanation.

“Make it the nice little Italian place nearby and you’re good”, Y/N replied

Of course! Fred realized that the last time he was over, Lee had told the twins hew was kind of seeing someone, but wouldn’t tell them who. It must’ve been Y/N. Fred sighed at the lost opportunity to ask out the girl.

“Great!” he said and tried to hand her money, but she claimed it was on the house. 

A date and free coffee? Unfair. Fred thought again.

“And Lee?” she yelled after him as he was about to leave. “Three roses. Not one more and not one less.”

Fred nodded as she told him she’d go check in the back if his pastries were ready. And soon enough she came out with a bag and handed it to him along with the two coffees. He thanked her and walked away, still thinking about the missed opportunity.

Over the next few days he still kept going to the coffee shop, despite George reminding him they could always get a new one. He made sure he was being more careful, though, since he didn’t want to accidentally flirt with Lee’s girlfriend.

Y/N seemed to notice the change too. It wasn’t anything monumental and she only had a few previous encounters to compare it with, but the man was clearly being more reserved. He barely chatted with her while she was getting his coffee and she kept on wondering why. One afternoon, Y/N decided to take matters into her own hands. After she got off work, she ventured on to the streets of Diagon Alley and went to find the joke shop.

Y/N smiled as she saw the bright orange and purple store front and stepped in to find complete chaos inside. She found Fred standing around and tapped him on the shoulder.

“Hi!” she grinned. The man looked at her, confused and it seemed like she didn’t recognize her. “Err...it’s Y/N? From the bakery? Just less flour in my face and no apron.”

“Ah I assume you’ve come to find my brother”

Brother? Y/N thought and then remembered. “Right! You’re twins! So you’re not Fred then?”

“It’s alright. I forget we’re identical sometimes too. Makes for scary mornings. Anyways I’m George. George Weasley, nice to meet you”, he extended his hand and she shook it. 

“Nice to meet you George, like I said I’m Y/N. Do you have any idea where Fred might be?”

“I’ll go get him. Wait here”, George grinned.

Y/N waited and looked around all the products. She grinned at how creative they were.

“You were looking for me?” Fred appeared behind her. 

“I was. I got off work and decided to stop by and see the shop for myself.”

“Well, does it match your expectations.”

“I don’t think anyone could expect this. In a good way. This is amazing!”

“Why thank you. Were you looking into buying anything here?”

“I actually came to ask you about something. I was thinking that maybe once you get off work I could take you to one of those muggle coffee shops and show you what actually good coffee tastes like?”

“Okay, hold on. Aren’t you dating Lee?”

“What? No, why would I be dating Lee?”

“The other day he was clearly asking you out. The Italian place? Three roses not one more not one less?”

“That? No, no you’ve got it all wrong. Lee’s dating my roommate and he was running his plan through me since he wanted to make the date special and I know her pretty well.”

“So he took your roommate to the Italian place and gave her the three roses?”

“Yep, I’ve never been a fan roses anyway”, Y/N smiled. “But I do like Italian food.”

“Perhaps I’ll have to take you to that place sometime.”

“I’ve already asked you out to coffee, you can’t ask me out during the same day”, she laughed.

“Can’t blame a man for trying.”

“You still haven’t answered me about the coffee, you know.”

“I figured asking you out on a date means that I wouldn’t mind going on a date with you.”

“So what time do you get off?”

“Right now”, George replied cheerfully. 

“Were you eavesdropping?” Fred asked.

“No, I just happened to be stacking shelves over there and couldn’t help, but to hear some flirting. You can go, I’ll take it from here.”

“Thanks, Geore. Why don’t you lead the way?” he said, addressing the last part to Y/N, who didn’t hesitate in taking his hand and leading him outside.

[everlarkficexchange]

A Simple Choice

Written by: @justajjfan​​​​

Beta’d by: @sunsetsrmydreams​​​​

Prompt 83: Katniss is whipped instead of Gale in Catching Fire, Peeta’s the one who’s there to take care of her after. [submitted by anonymous].

Prompt 116: Peeta braids Katniss’ hair to soothe her. [submitted by anonymous] 

Rating: Mature 

Warning: Mention of whipping. Use of coarse language.

A/N: We’re half-way…ish there. Thanks again @everlarkficexchange​ ; @javistg​ and @xerxia31​ for continuing to post my really late submission. @sunsetsrmydreams​ 💚

~~~

Chapter 4

Back in the kitchen I make quick work of preparing breakfast by slicing two thick pieces of bread and while I wait for them to toast lightly, I scoop a few teaspoons of home-made strawberry jam into a small dish before placing everything on the serving tray. Once the kettle has boiled, I pour the hot water into the tea pot and inhale the fragrant steam from the herbal tea leaves.

These are the things I know Katniss likes so I hope it will entice her enough to eat.

I had planned on running over to Katniss’ house earlier to grab a nightgown or something loose fitting for her to change into while her wounds healed but with my unexpected visitor, there isn’t time so it will have to wait until after she’s had something to eat.

Balancing the tray carefully, I approach my bedroom door to find it slightly open. I was positive I closed it before I came downstairs this morning so I wouldn’t wake Katniss from what looked like a peaceful sleep. But as I nudge the door gently open all the way with my foot, I am surprised to see Katniss standing by the window wrapped loosely in the thin bedsheet I draped over her yesterday, starring out towards the pathway and beyond the gate.

I take careful steps so I don’t startle her but the rattle from the empty teacup on top of its saucer ruins any attempt at me being quiet. Needless to say, Katniss doesn’t appear to have noticed me entering the room and seems caught in a trance clutching a separate piece of cloth close to her chest.

I know I shouldn’t be thinking this way about her but even draped in something as plain as a bedsheet and seeing the contours of her body as she stands in the morning light, Katniss is still the most beautiful girl I’ve ever laid eyes on and the urge to sketch her image is overwhelming. But any urges I feel right now are quickly supressed with a more pressing need to check on her wounds.

With that thought in mind, my eyes dart straight to the part of Katniss’ back not covered by the sheet and what I see…or rather don’t see, causes me to loosen my grip on the tray. Luckily, I make a quick recovery of my senses and save her freshly made breakfast from ending up in a messy heap on the carpeted floor.

“Oh my God Katniss,” I announce, my voice choked with elation. “Your wounds…they’re so much better,” I manage to say as I gawk at her bare back in amazement.

The criss-cross of jagged and bloodied welts of flesh that were spread across her back and shoulders yesterday have been replaced by faint pink lines. If I hadn’t cleaned and dressed her wounds myself, I wouldn’t have known they were there. 

She nods, bringing the cloth to her face and rubbing it lightly against her cheek, clearly not startled and being completely aware of my presence the whole time, “because you took good care of me,” she replies in a soft tone.

“I think it had a lot to do with Madge Undersee’s miracle salve…not me.”

Katniss shakes her head, “it was you…even after everything. You saved me and cleaned my wounds and—” her words fade as she tries to keep her emotions in check.

She’s always been so strong but seeing her like this surprises me and it hurts in ways I cannot even describe, “it’s what we do…you and me. Protect each other…no matter what,” I concede.

“She was right.”

“Who was?” I ask but she shakes her head again before burying her face in the cloth. Whether she meant her mother or maybe her sister I don’t want to press the issue. Katniss must still be a little groggy from the pain medication and having an empty stomach isn’t helping. 

Still holding onto that mysterious cloth as if her life depended on it, Katniss steps away from the window and walks slowly towards the bed and sits, “when I woke I couldn’t find you and I called out but you didn’t answer,” she tells me, her eyes slowly cast to the armchair beside the bed.

“Did you sleep there all night?” she questions, raising her head to look at me. I nod in silent reply. “It must have been uncomfortable for you.”

“I’ve slept in worse places,” I say as I edge closer, recalling our nights in the cave and I wonder if Katniss remembers too.

Our eyes lock onto each other and I have to clench my fists tighter around the handles of the breakfast tray to fight the strong desire to wrap my arms around her and kiss her deeply on the lips. The mere thought is threatening to engulf me like a burning ring of fire.

I’m setting myself for heartbreak all over again and I need to shake these feelings away. Katniss will leave as soon as she has her strength back and when that happens, I’ll be resigned to living the rest of my lonely and pathetic life with only her memory to keep me company.

Clearing my throat, I move to the bedside table and rest the tray on top, “I’m used to waking early and I didn’t want to disturb you…and what looked like a happy dream, so I went downstairs to make a start on preparing breakfast and some broth for lunch,” I say. “I’m sorry I didn’t hear you call out for me. I tend to get a little distracted when I’m kneading bread and I wanted to make sure you had a fresh loaf for toast and of course, strawberry jam. It’s still your favourite, right?”

She smiles shyly and nods, “you remembered.”

“I’d never forget something as important as that.”

Our eyes meet again and for a few seconds, neither of us utter a word. I clear my throat to break the silence and nervously reach for the breakfast tray, placing it carefully between us and pour the tea as Katniss watches on, tucking loose strands of hair behind her ears.

I guess my hair braiding skills leave a lot to be desired.

“Mmmm…peppermint tea,” Katniss says before taking a careful sip from the steaming cup. “Won’t your mother be angry with you for not turning up for work this morning?” she adds a moment later.

“I don’t care if she is,” I say, breaking a piece of toast and holding it out for her to take.

Katniss straightens up and looks at me before her eyes fall on the piece of toast then she draws in a deep breath before taking a bite straight from my hands. When her lips brush against my fingers, my breath hitches at the sensation and I struggle to stay focused.

“I-I’m part owner of the bakery now and I decide my own hours…n-not my mother,” I say as Katniss chews slowly, her grey eyes never leaving mine.

“Looking after you will always be my first priority,” I blurt out without thinking. I should probably apologies for my forwardness but I’m so transfixed on her mouth as she chews and swallows the first piece of toast, I’d only end up saying something even more stupid.

Katniss places the teacup back on the tray and breaks a piece of toast. Good, I think to myself, she’s hungry. But instead of taking a bite herself, she brings it to my lips in offering and I open my mouth wide and gently take it from her delicate fingers.

“Yes,” she whispers as I roll the toasted bread around in my mouth. Caught under a magical spell I want to live in forever, I find myself repeating it but as soon as the word leaves my lips, the smile on my face drops when Katniss brings the cloth close to her chest.

It’s the shirt I wore yesterday.

I get up from the bed a little too quickly and spill some tea on the tray but I don’t care. I’m annoyed and angry with myself for leaving the shirt on the bathroom floor. I meant to take it with me after I showered to throw it in the trash but my mind was happily tossing on what kind of bread I would bake for Katniss, it completely slipped my mind.

Katniss doesn’t say anything as I walk over to the dresser and pull out a clean white shirt from the top drawer which I think will do until we can get something of hers.

“I always forget to pick up after myself,” I laugh, trying to make light of the situation. “Here…let me take that from you and give you this to put on instead of that bedsheet,” I say, holding out my hand with the clean shirt. “We can go to your house later to grab some of your clothes, if you’re up to it,” I suggest.

Katniss nods and takes it with one hand but still clings to the shirt I carelessly left on the floor with the other. “The bread…it smelt so familiar and I was about to come downstairs to find you but I needed to use the bathroom first and…” she says looking down at the crumbled and soiled shirt still clutched tightly in her hand. “I never meant for any of this to happen…not to you.”

“And I wished with all my heart none of this happened to you, but here we both are.”

“How many?” Katniss asks, lifting her head to look at me.

I know what she’s asking and consider lying by giving her some lame explanation but how can I when she’s been holding onto the truth so tightly in her hands all this time, “just the one but I hardly think it matters…not compared to yours.”

“It matters to me!” Katniss says in a raised voice, her chin quivering. “The salve…you used some on yourself and it’s healed just like mine, right?” There’s a desperate look on her face as she waits for my confirmation.

“Peeta?”

I feel a huge lump in my throat and swallow hard, “you needed every bit of that salve and I wasn’t about to waste a drop of it on me. Besides, I hardly feel a thing now,” I admit truthfully.

“Take off your shirt!” Katniss demands as she turns to the bedside table and reaches frantically for the tin box containing what I know sits an empty jar inside. “There’s got to be a little left for you. Your shirt Peeta…please,” she pleads, trying to scrape any remnant of salve that I know isn’t there on her finger.

I take a hold of her dainty wrist and gently remove the jar from her fingers and place it back on the bedside table, “it’s okay Katniss…it doesn’t hurt anymore.”

“But you need some too. We look after each other…you said so yourself.”

Katniss places her trembling hands on my chest and guides them down my shirt and I don’t resist. Neither do I when she starts to undo each button one by one then gently pushes the fabric over my shoulders and down my arms. I stay silent the whole time and watch her face intently as she kneels on the bed and begins to trace her fingers ever-so softly over the single welt splayed mostly across my shoulder. My heart skips a beat and I let out a hiss but it’s not from any discomfort I’m feeling.

“Why is it every time I try to protect you, all I seem to do is cause you nothing but pain,” she sniffs, stopping her tender touch. “It was stupid of you to try and stop Thread. You should have stayed away.”

“Both us know I wasn’t about to stand back and watch Thread try to kill you. What were you thinking sneaking back to Twelve after you escaped with Gale and your family? That was pretty stupid too,” I counter, pulling my shirt back over my shoulders. “Why did you do that…come back I mean?”

“I-I already told you,” she answers as she helps me rebutton my shirt.

“You weren’t making much sense,” I admit. “You mentioned something about coming back for me but I’m sure that can’t be true. It was just the medicine talking,” I say as my mind replayed her slurred and sleepy words from yesterday.

“It is true Peeta. I came back for you.”

Her words are clear and precise and this time there’s no mistaking them.

…tbc

[palettepainter]

Sick

Some more angst because none of you can stop me. I promise I have other stories that aren’t angst related-

In this story Higari is 7 and Hono is 2 - just so I don’t forget I’ll also add here that Kaigo died when Higari was 14

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Higari scurried his way back inside the home, bursting open the back door and rushing in from the garden glass jar in hand. He eagerly rushed inside, doing his best not to slip as he darted into the kitchen to proudly show off his finding “Ma!” He yelled, quickly scanning the kitchen only to leave a second later when he saw it was empty. “Mmmmaaaa!” He yelled again, rushing into the hallway to peer up the stairway and then dart back into the lounge.

From the floor, Hono, his two year old brother, curiously peered up, watching with big eyes as his brother screeched to a halt by the sofa. “Dad dad dad!” Higari cheered, noticing his dad sprawled on the sofa. His dad blinked open one eye “Hm..Sweetpea” he sat up, scratching at his beard and neck with a tired smile “You know not to yell in the house..” he said, thankfully the missus was currently out, so Higari wouldn’t be getting a scolding this time.

“Sorry..” Higari said before quickly brightening, holding out the jam jar to his dad “But look!! I found a hopper!”

“Heh, slow down there whirlwind! Alright, lemme see” Kaigo hummed, leaning forward on the couch to peer into the glass jar, where amongst the pieces of twig and leaves was a tiny grass hopper. “Hm, so you did” he said with a nod, his hand going to fondly ruffle Higari’s head of ginger hair “But make sure the hopper stays in the jar until you put it back outside. We don’t wanna repeat of last you let something inside the house”

Higari looked off to the side before muttering a shy no

The last time he’d found a critter in the garden he’d found a giant toad, sitting in a murky puddle of water right outside by their porch. Needless to say his mother had a..passionate reaction when she found the thing hiding behind a cushion in her favourite arm chair.

His dad chuckled, before breaking out into a sudden fit of coughs. Higari flinched back, the change in his behaviour causing Hono to let out a scared whimper. Kaigo’s eyes flicked up to them, his throat burning, but he tried to force a smile “D-Dont worry Higari, its just a cough!” He cleared his throat, trying to force down the urge to cough more “I’m fine now, see?”

Higari didn’t look so easily convinced “Are you sure?” He asked, tilting his head to the side. Hono peered back up to his older brother, before mimicking him and turning back to their father. Kaigo couldn’t help but smile at the sight “Don’t worry, I’m fine. You ain’t gotta worry your head off over me” his hand went back to ruffle his hair again, which successfully earned him a string of giggles “Your mother does a good enough job of that on her own” Kaigo pretended to look left and right, as if to check no one else was listening before he leaned down to whisper “She can be a little pushy at times when it comes to being all healthy and clean, can’t she?”

Higari snickered, obviously amused

The two’s laughter was cut short when they heard a thud noise coming from the hallway, it was the familiar sound of the front door being opened and closed.

Magaru, Higari’s mother, wondered into the lounge after hanging up her coat. At the sight of their mother Hono let out an excited squeal noise, prompting their mother to peer over “Hey boys” she said, already scooping Hono up off the floor as the excited tot instantly latched his arms onto his mother in a hug “You two where good for your dad?” She asked, looking down to Higari with a smile and then to her husband

“A course” Kaigo said in a lazed manner, looping one arm round Higari “These two are nothin’ but sweet lil angels” Higari tried to pull his best innocent child look. Their mother hummed, rolling her eyes - knowing that same ‘innocent’ child had been the one to break the shower curtain less then a week ago “Uh-Huh” she said, amused.

“Mama!” Higari picked you his glass jar he’d left on the table and then quickly held it up to his mother and baby brother. “I found a hopper in the garden!”

“All by himself” Kaigo added matter of factly with a a raised finger

Magaru peered down into the glass, watching as the tiny big tried to hip up at the glass only to slide back down into the bottom of the jar. “Well done Higari” she said, giving him a quick pat on the head “But please, keep the bug inside the jar” she repeated what his father had told him minutes ago, leaning forward to press her finger onto his nose “We don’t want a repeat of last time!”

While Higari pouted and rubbed at his nose, another familiar guest entered the room. “Evening Kaigo”

Kaigo hummed, peeking up at the sound of his brothers voice before he turned on the couch to smile at him “Hey Tsūkin” he greeted, his brother bowing his head in return as he placed his hat on the kitchen side. “Hi Uncle Tsukin” Higari waved over towards his uncle, and then held up his bug friend “I caught a hopper!”

Tsukin fiddled with glasses and squinted down at the jar his nephew seemed so proud over. “Ah yes, very good job Higari!” He praised, Higari beaming a toothy smile and letting out a small squeal at the praise.

“One day you’ll have to show me all the good bug catching spots!” His Uncle said, his last attempt to brighten the mood before he knew it would become somber “Though..I am here to talk with your dad, about what’s making him sick”

Kaigo tensed, but didn’t let his smile fall. Better to hide his nerves in-front of his two children, he didn’t need them fretting. “How exciting” Kaigo mocked, still smiling as he stood up from his chair. Kaigo walked over to Higari who looked to be trying to mimic the grass hoppers chirping noises “Alright sweetpea-“ he gently nudged Higari towards the entry way to the hall “-time for bed, say g’night to your Uncle”

Higari, like any child, turned up to his dad with a whine “But I’m not tired!” He insisted, trying his luck. Kaigo rose a brow and leaned back up with an “Oh?” Higari gave a sure nod “Mhm!” Kaigo hummed “Is that so?” He asked again, leaning against the kitchen counter while Magaru, his wife, gave the teeniest of smiles at her sons antics

“Yeah, I don’t want to go to bed” Higari turned to place his grasshopper down on the dresser and then crossed his arms “I’m not tired at all! Nu-Uh. I’m a big boy” he tried to balance on his tiptoes, but gave up when he ended up nearly toppling over. “Mhm” Kaigo gave a slow nod, managing to not laugh “You certainly are getting bigger” he stated

“Yeah!” Higari agreed, whirling up to look at his dad “So can’t I stay up for a little longer?” He rushed up closer to his dad, and under the mane of ginger hair, Kaigo made out a single turquoise puppy dog eye staring up at him “Pleeeaasseee?”

Kaigo once again hummed “.....Nope” he said, popping the P “Off to bed Higari”

Higari let out a long groan, throwing his head back and turning away from his dad with a huff. Kaigo didn’t take it to heart “Don’t pout” he said, kneeling down to be more closer to Higari. His son only further turned away from him with his cheeks puffed out in anger, it was arguably kinda cute, Kaigo thought.

Kaigo attempted a final time to try and make eye contact with the pouty boy, but when his attempt failed, he resorted to his last move. Higari let out a startled yelp noise when he was all of a sudden throw up into the air and caught again by his dad, who then launched a raspberry right onto his cheek, making him squeal and kick his legs like a flailing piglet. “I said don’t pout!” Kaigo teased, before blowing onto raspberry onto Higari’s cheek, eating up his delighted giggles and squeals

“Daaaddd!” He whined, trying to sound angry despite the smile that was now drawn ear to ear over his face.

From the doorway Magakure shook her head lightly, Hono giggling at her side “Alright Higari, that’s enough” she ended their fun before it drag on any further past Higari’s bedtime. Kaigo peered over to his wife briefly, and then looked back to Higari “Alright sweetpea, time for bed” he placed him back down on the floor “For real this time!” He nudged Higari over towards his mother, who held out her hand when Higari was close enough “Off to bed, and don’t forget to clean your teeth this time!” He yelled after them as Magaru lead them up the stairway to the boys room.

Hono was easily tucked away in bed, asleep as soon as his head hit his pillow. Higari took a little longer, as his mother tucked him into bed and closed up his bedroom window “Goodnight Higari” She said, leaning over to kiss his forehead before she turned off the night light, and quietly made her way out of the room.

Higari curled into the warmth of his blankets, happily drifting off into dream land. Being a country bumpkin he naturally dreamed of driving a giant tractor, a big red one with nice shiny paint! And it of course had a giant horn to boot, added coolness, he’d honk the horn and it’d let out a noise like a grasshopper...grasshopper?

“Hopper!” Higari bolted up in his bed, he’d left his grasshopper downstairs on the dresser! Higari knew his mother was insistent on then staying in bed when it was their bed time, he’d be herded straight back to bed if he was caught sneaking about. He debated the idea, weighted the pros and cons - and easily discarded the idea of sleeping in favour of retrieving his bug buddy.

As he put on his slippers Hono stirred in his sleep, rubbing at his eye when he noticed his brothers bed across from him was empty “Higari?..” he called quietly, yawning. Higari jolted, not realising Hono was awake “Shh!” He quickly shushed his baby brother who continued to look confused “You need to be quite! If Ma catches me I’ll be in trouble-“

Halfway through his sentence Higari heard muffled voices through the floor, coming from downstairs in the lounge. He couldn’t make out what it was they where saying, but it must have been loud in order for him to hear them from his bedroom. “Shhh..” he hushed Hono again, this time more gently. His baby brother slapped both hands to his mouth and nodded as Higari kneeled and pressed his ear to the floor. He still couldn’t hear any of the words they where saying

“Stay here..” Higari said, pointing to Hono who nodded again, tugging at his blanket. Deciding to push on Higari quietly creaked open the bedroom door, checked the hallway for either of his parents, and then crept towards the stairway. He could hear the voices more clearly now, they sounded irritated. Higari felt as though he should turn and go back to bed, yet he found himself walking further until he was standing just by the entryway to the lounge. He wondered maybe if he could get away with peaking his head inside-

“What do you MEAN it’s getting WORSE?!”

Higari startled, jumping back and almost falling over onto his butt. That was his dads voice, but he’d never heard him that angry before

“Honey, clam down” His stern yet still concerned sounding mothers voice came soon after

“K-Kaigo please-” the voice of his uncle followed

“I have done EVERYTHING the doctors have asked me! I’ve taken the meditation, the treatment, time off work: HOW can it still BE GETTING WORSE?!”

“Kaigo please! Calm down! They’re doing their best to try and find a way to help, but- b-but with where you live it makes visits and appointments so much harder!”

Higari tried to back up to the stairs, but he was too scared to move any further, none of the adults seemed to notice he was there, and kept yelling.

“I can’t just up and leave! I have the house, a wife, CHILDREN!”

“Y-Yes I know you do! But-“

“I have Higari and Hono to think about, I need to be here for them! If this is going to get worse I have to beHERE! I CANT LEAVE THEM!”

“I’m not saying you have to leave them!” Tsūkin pleaded, trying to calm his furious brother “But PLEASEconsider that moving to the city for treatment would benefit you! E-Even temporarily!” He tried to bargain, and failed

Kaigo shook his head “I worked to build a home here Tsūkin, I’m not giving up everything I’ve worked for just because of some silly sickness-“

“It’s NOT a silly sickness! And YOU KNOW IT-“ Tsūkin’s yell fell flat as he suddenly noticed Higari standing frozen in the doorway. Kaigo, noticing his change in behaviour, glanced over his shoulder.

His eyes shot open at the sight of his son “Sweetpea what are you doing up?” His tone had switched to soothing and calm in an instant, hurriedly walking over and scooping up the child into his arms, not sparing his brother or wife a word as he took Higari back up to his room.

When the door to Higari’s and Hono’s bedroom opened Hono quickly ducked back under his covers, badly faking sleep as Kaigo already knew he was wide awake. Higari was quite even as his dad tucked him into bed, but Kaigo made no move to leave. He sat on the edge of the bed and Higari was worried he was going to be told off. He nervously fiddled with his fingers, waiting for his dad to scold him “Higari?” Higari shyly peered up to his dad “...You” Kaigo rubbed his neck “..You shouldn’t eavesdrop on conversations. Okay?” Kaigo stood, not having the courage the make eye contact with his confused son “Now go to sleep okay?”

“Dad?” Higari’s voice stopped him from stepping out of the room. Kaigo swallowed, and then turned around “What is it Higari?”

Higari toyed with his blanket, suddenly shy. Kaigo took half a step back into the room, the way in which his son looked so nervous not helping his conscious. Kaigo was sure he caught a quite sniffle from his son before he quietly spoke “Are..You’re gonna get better right?”

Kaigo’s grip began close to crushing on the door frame, with his iron claws it would be easy to break through the wooden frame. “I..” words failed him in that moment, of all moments he had to loose his voice he thought. From his bed Hono poked his head out from his blankets, looking up to his dad in the doorway while Higari looked away, trying to discreetly wipe his eye.

“..Aw, sweetpea don’t be upset” Kaigo turned back into the room, picking Higari up into a soothing hug. Higari curled into his dad, trying to hide his face in his shoulder “..Dad just..” he struggled to think of a way to explain without making Higari and Hono more confused, or scared. “..I’m just a little sicker then we thought, that’s all” he said, nodding - trying to reassure himself

Hono instantly sensed the change in his big brothers behaviour, and with a determined look in his eye he scrambled from his bed and made a bed line towards him. Kaigo hummed, watching Hono as he attempted to clamber onto the bed. Despite how heavy the atmosphere felt he shook his head with a smile and picked up Hono with one hand, sitting him down on his other knee.

“Hug!” Hono clumsily leaned over to grab Higari in a hug, his brows furrowed - it was like he was trying to hug the sadness out. Higari tried to wriggle away, but Hono remained glued to him like a leech “Aw see?” Kaigo smiled down at Higari despite him trying to shove his little brother away “Hono wants to make sure you’re feeling okay? You don’t wanna make your baby brother upset do you?”

“Mngh..” Higari gave one last attempt to shove Hono off, before accepting his fate “I guess..” he mumbled under his breath.

“...Dad?”

“Yeah?”

“Do..” Higari paused, looking down at the floor “Do the doctors know what’s making you sick?” He asked. Kaigo grit his teeth, why did kids always have to ask such difficult questions??

Kaigo looked away to collect his thoughts, he’d need to word his answer carefully “Well..” he started, not rushing “You know how...dads been sick for a while now?” Higari nodded. Kaigo moves further back along the bed until his back was leaning against the wall “You see...well, the doctors think it..might be more then a tummy bug”

Higari thought for a moment “Tummy bug and..a headache?”

Kaigo chuckled lightly “Uh- No no, a..a bit more then that too”

“Like what then?” Higari asked innocently, Hono following Higari’s gaze while still hugging Higari’s arm in a vice grip

“They’re..not sure yet...But don’t worry!” He placed Higari and Hono down on the bed, Higari thought his dads eyes looked oddly watery, an emotion behind his smile that Kaigo tried hard to hide “T-The doctors are gonna find a way to help, that’s why your uncles here! Because..we don’t live in the city near a hospital, he’s here to make sure I’m doing okay” he added “Don’t you worry your little heads off, alright?” He gently brushed Higari’s fringe out of his face and then did the same to Hono “Before you know it I’ll be fit as a fiddle! You won’t even remember I was ever sick”

Higari looked away with a whimper “That wasn’t what you said downstairs..” he mumbled, catching Kaigo off guard.

He pulled his hand away, stuck. Not sure what he could say or do next to reassure him. Dammit, why did he have to hear that?? Guess reality liked to play cruel. Kaigo sighed through his nose and shuffled up the bed “Okay, how about this” Kaigo laid down, moving the boys further up so that he could lay beside him “I’ll stay here until you fall asleep, will that make you feel better?”

Higari didn’t need much more persuasion, as he curled up into his blankets, sticking close to his dad but not quite falling asleep just yet, despite how heavy his eyelids felt and how cozy he was. Kaigo let out another sigh, one arm carefully wrapping around Higari in a gentle hug

Hono scowled at his dad, and then wriggled his way in-between the two before sticking his tongue out, arms latching onto Higari’s other arm “...Pfft-“ Kaigo raised his hand in the face of his youngest ones glare “Alright alright, you can hug Higari” Hono narrowed his eyes more at his father as if to say ‘I’m watching you’ before he soon gave a cute yawn, and then laid down next to his brother.

At seeing Hono settling down, Kaigo carefully moved his arm back over his two sons, reaching down to lightly tug the blanket over them both so they wouldn’t get cold. “You need to try and sleep now, okay?” Kaigo shifted on his back, trying to get comfy on the bed that was obviously too small for someone so tall “You’ll be exhausted in the morning!”

“...Dad?”

Kaigo hummed

“...You’re not...g-gonna leave, are you?”

Kaigo instantly snapped his eyes down to Higari “What?!” He shook his head “N-No! No no!” Kaigo began to gesture with his hands, as if trying to grasp the words, starting a sentence was always the hard part “I wouldn’t-...You need to understand that-“ Kaigo wasn’t sure what he was aiming for, but words just kept pouring from his mouth in a desperate attempt to put his concerned child at peace “I-...I-I’m not...” he pressed his lips into a thin line, looking lost, Higari turned to press his face into his pillow, sniffling.

It broke Kaigo’s heart

...He gently ruffled his head again, leaning down to kiss his forehead, smiling - at the last end of his strength when it came to keeping the sad quality from his tone and the tears from pouring “I’m not going anywhere for a long time” he finally said “It’ll take more then some sickness to get rid of me buddy”

“Promise?..”

Kaigo held eye contact with Higari, his big blue eyes staring up at him - he just wouldn’t understand...

“...Alright” Kaigo said with a sigh “Okay Higari, I promise”

Higari at last finally smiled, a weight lifted off his shoulders at the sight, some happiness seeming to make its way back into the room. “...As long as you try to sleep!” Kaigo poked at Higari’s tummy, and the boy quickly curled up in a fight of flight response, ready to protect himself from an onslaught of tickles “Okay okay!” He pressed, flopping his head on his pillow to make it look like he was asleep.

“Good” Kaigo said, laying his head down also, before yawning himself. No sooner then a second later Higari yawned too, letting his body sink into his mattress and pillow, the warmth welcoming slumber as his eyes drifted slowly shut “G’night you two..” Kaigo said, waiting for Higari to fall asleep. It hasn’t taken long, bless him, he was probably exhausted - it was very late at this point.

Kaigo calmly watched his two sons sleep, their little chests rising and falling, even in sleep Hono hugged onto Higari’s arm as though it was some treasured teddy bear. He gently tugged the blanket over them more and slowly stood up from the bed.

He saw no point in trying to pry Hono away from Higari, not when he’d just gotten them to sleep. The moment he was out of the room and in the safety of the hallway he let out a breath, pulling his hands back through his hair. He let his nails drag along his scalp and then pull at the skin under his eyes. He mumbled nothings to himself, rubbing his face to try and calm himself

He let out a shaky exhale, teary eyes upon the ceiling, a sinking feeling in his gut

“...What the hell am I gonna do?..”

[shhhlikeme]

“Losty Aone” / “Losty Mountain Man🏔” Series:

Outtake Collection #7:

TALKING STAGE OUTTAKES (Right Before Series’ Part 1)

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A/N: sooooooo. Prepare for the feels in this collection. Tumblr said it was too long because I have too many paragraphs—bye🙄 so this will be 7 and next will be 7.5. Please keep in mind they are apart of the same collection as they work well together. I strongly recommend to listen to “Always Be My Baby” By Mariah Carey for the entire read, but if repetition annoys you then just do it for the last outtake in 7.5 which is the confession. It tied for the most fluff votes. If anyone is up and reading this hopefully the next part will be up by the time you finish.

This outtake starts off funny and fluffy but ends angsty, serious and I dont wanna spoil. Fluffville Af, but maybe a bit of a rollercoaster. I poured a lot of heart into this collection, though, so I hope you enjoy it:

‼️THIS IS THE 11TH PART IN A SERIES READ THE OTHER PARTS BEFORE THIS ONE: ‼️

TABLE OF CONTENTS

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One Day After You Noticed Aone and This Baby Doesn’t Know How ACT ☀️💋

“Hello?”

Futakuchi answered his cell phone grumpily as he half-slept.

“Futakuchi. It is Aone.”

Kenji rolled onto his back, wiping his fallen bangs out of his face. “I know. You’re the only person who calls me at 4am. Did you have another wet dream about Y/N?”

“No.” Mountain man answered hurriedly, but then he faltered. “Well, um, actually—yes—and Y/N looked phenomenal...—But that’s not the reason I’m calling this time.”

Futakuchi yawned. “You know, I miss the days back in elementary school when you’d call me because you had a bad dream ... hah....remember Monster Twoosie that lived in your closet?”

Sitting up on his bed, Aone whipped his head to the right to look at his closet. Getting up to close the closet door, he scolded his friend.

“We don’t speak of him, Futakuchi-san.”

Kenji let out a tired laugh. “What is this about then? I thought you’d sleep like a baby knowing that Y/N has finally noticed you.”

Aone returned to his bed, covering his legs under his camouflage blanket. “I’m extremely happy. I can’t stop thinking about her approaching my desk and smiling at me throughout lunch and her taking my phone to put her number in it. It’s not a daydream anymore and it’s just.......” he raked his brain for the word.

“A lot?”

Aone was happy he didn’t need to speak in full sentences to a best friend who could practically read his mind.

“A lot for me, yes, thank you Kenji-san. Usually, when two people are starting to get to know eachother, there is interest on both ends and they just work their way up from there.”

“But there is attraction on both ends for you and Y/N.”

“No. I already know she is the girl for me, and Y/N just figured out who I was yesterday. We are in a very unconventional position.”

“Yes but she’s also the most lost individual—aside from you—that I have ever met, so, what’s your point?”

“How do I get her to like me back?”

“Aone, just be yourself. A lot of girls already like you.”

“I don’t care about the other girls, I care about Y/N. I’ve been myself the past 2 years and she has never even noticed me, so clearly that does not work.”

“Y/N hasn’t noticed anyone, Aone-san.... ask her to name all her teachers I bet she can’t”

“She noticed the outfielder on the baseball team....”

“Right—she noticed that he was a tool. And I won’t let you conveniently forget that he approached her—which you refused to do for two years.”

“That is.............................a fair analysis.”

“Anyway, like I said, just be yourself. If Y/N doesn’t like you then she doesn’t deserve you anyway. Serves her right for being a bimbo the past two years....”

“Kenji-san....” Aone warned in a frightening voice. He hated when anyone had anything bad to say about his crush.

Kenji just laughed through his fatigue because he knew that warning was coming.

“I digress. Now as far as being yourself goes, for starters......how was your texting convo tonight?”

Mountain man was confused.

“Texting.......conversation?”

Kenji’s tired eyes flew open, stunned.

“Y/N gave you her number. She put it in your phone. That’s what you said.”

Aone grunted in agreement.

“So you didn’t text her?!”

“I didn’t know I was supposed to.”

“Holy fuck Aone I’m seriously gonna—“

“There.” Mountain man interrupted his friend.

HUH?! Kenji now felt like he’d just seen Monster Twoosie, because his entire body paled. He spoke slowly as to not lose it:

“Aone.....What do you mean by...............................................there?”

“I just texted Y/N.”

“AT 4 O’CLOCK IN THE MORNING ?!?!?!?!”

Kenji yelled so loudly his parents screamed at him to go to sleep before they take away his tv. He quickly quieted down.

“What did you text her?!”

Aone paused, retrieving the message. He read it aloud: “Good morning, Y/N.”

Futakuchi groaned loudly, gripping his bangs on top of his head.

“I am gathering that I should not have done that?”

Kenji groaned again in response. “No, but I did tell you to be yourself. We’ll see how Y/N feels about you being yourself.”

🏫 AT SCHOOL 🏫

“Aone!”

Mountain man was collecting books from his locker, Kenji next to him leaning on the next locker, when he heard his name being called by his favourite voice ever. The middle blocker looked over in the direction of the voice and gulped.

Kenji nudged him. “Be yourself.” He whispered before you approached.

Aone couldn’t get used to you actually noticing him. He fantasized about it so much when you’d call your cheer friends name, that it just seemed so surreal now that you were actually calling him. On top of that, you looked so beautiful today. (You may have tried a bit more this morning for him) in your school uniform, light but perfect makeup, and a bright smile.

When Aone heard your voice call his name he had to fight back a deep blush because it brought him back to his dream last night where you were calling his name like that—only it was much more breathy and the two of you were in much more.....intimate circumstances.

“Hi, Y/N.” the blonde managed to say as he looked down at you. “You look beautiful today.”

Beside him, Kenji cringed and looked away. He couldn’t imagine being such a simp.

“Aw, thanks!” You beamed. “I just wanted to say thank you so much for that sweet good morning text. When I woke up to it, it completely brightened my day!”

Hidden behind the locker, Kenji’s jaw dropped.

Aone’s heart tightened at your words. “You’re welcome.”

You smiled. “Would you like to have lunch together again today? My treat this time.”

You had no idea how much you made this man’s life by saying these things.

Aone nodded, blushing and unable to speak.

“Great. Can you come down here for a second?” You bent your index finger at him as to say come hither and this big blushy baby bent down to your level, confused.

With him now in reach you leaned in to press your soft lips on his cheek. “I forgot to do it yesterday, but that’s for defending me against that snitch Tsume. See you at lunch!” You skipped away to your next class happily.

Mountain man, on the other hand, was just completely out of commission.

Kenji’s eyes were very wide seeing the whole thing happen and he moved to the same side Y/N was just on. Grabbing his friends shoulder he pulled him up because he looked weird still frozen bending over to meet your height when you were gone.

“I guess Y/N likes you for who you are, Aone-san.”

Aone just stared in the direction you disappeared in. Your platonic peck on the cheek made him feel like he was floating.

“Let’s go, we have study hall.” Kenji patted his friend’s shoulder.

Aone called for him to stop, so Futakuchi turned back around.

“What’s wrong? What is it?”

“I don’t think my legs work anymore, Kenji-san.”

hahahahaha poor baby

Needless to say Kenji san was not impressed to have to wait at his best friend’s locker with him for 5 whole minutes until the shock of you kissing him wore off

You really affected the white-haired bb even when you ignored him so Kenji wasn’t that surprised that this would happen

———————————

Weeks Into The Talking Stage - The Date Tech Boys Attend Katana’s Big House Party! 🥤🎉

“I swear to God if Katana doesn’t leave me alone tonight.......... You owe me, Aone-san.” States Futakuchi grumpily as him, Aone, and Kogenagawa shuffled out of their Uber. They stood in front of Katana’s huge cottage: lit up brightly with glow strobes and pictures of her taped up on the logs like a billboard in downtown Los Angeles.

“I appreciate you two for coming, sincerely. You are good friends.” Aone bowed to them.

Kanji bounced on the balls of his feet, the complete opposite visual of the crabby Justin Bieber look-alike.

“Oh no problem!!! I would have never been invited to a cheerleader’s party if you two weren’t my friends! Y/N inviting you to this is MASSIVE, Aone-senpai! I’m soooo happy I can experience this—hey! I think I see that hot cop cheerleader from before. Maybe she wants to thank me for my donations—!” The big boned setter started walking toward the party but Kenji gripped the back of his shirt, reeling him back in.

Kenji glared at his underclassmen.

“Must I warn you every time?! Play. It. Cool. Don’t stare at the birthday girl’s chest and for the love of God please leave the cop girl alone or we will never bring you to another party again.”

Pouting, Kogenagawa agreed, grabbing a red solo cup from a tray that a waiter was walking around with.

Aone grabbed it out of his hand before he downed it, all while scanning the crowd for his beautiful crush.

“No drinking. You’re underage.” Aone commanded, pouring it out in front of him.

“Right.” Kenji nodded.

The giant setter’s pout deepened. He crossed his arms at Aone.

“Thanks Mom.”

He then stuck his tongue out and Kenji.

“And thanks Dad. What would I do without you two? Besides HAVE FUN, of course!?”

“It scares me to even think about it....” Kenji murmured back, ruffling his setter’s hair who started freaking out because he worked hard on it.

Just then, Takanobu gasped a bit because he finally spotted you in the outdoor crowd on the porch. You were dressed in a long sleeve skin tight bodycon dress that showcased all your curves. And the dress was short. (If you remember correctly from his wet dream This man loooves short skirts on you.):

(You May or May not have chosen something a bit on the sexy side to get the attention of the boy you were starting to enjoy the company of.... and who you invited to be your date tonight—)

The look of you alone made Aone lick his lips and shuffle because had the air outside gotten 10 degrees hotter, randomly?

“Dowwwwn boy.” Kenji murmured when he realized his friend had spotted his crush and was very excited. He had that same look when he saw Y/N in that genie costume, and it was one of unadulterated, innocent, unidentified, lust.

“Aone, you can’t stare at Y/N like that anymore. She notices you now.”

Aone tried his very best and he was able to peel his eyes away from you and back to his best friend. “I wish it were easy.” He stated with a frown. “Especially when she looks like that.”

You were over with a group of popular kids, a red solo cup in your hand filled with red bull, chatting and adding to Katana’s stories when out of the corner of your eye you spot a tall white haired beauty on the outskirts, probably just getting here: Your date. Your heart skipped a beat as you interrupted the boy who was speaking to the group.

“He came, he’s here!!” You gripped Katana on the arm.

“Ow, Y/N!” Katana ripped your hand off her. She fixed the tiara on her head. “Of course he’s here, no man is dumb enough to deny a date with you, Y/N.” She returned to her conversation dismissively.

Kusa walked up the porch steps to give you and Katana hugs. She looked so beautiful!

“Looks like your man Aone brought Kenji-san too.” Kusa said to the two cheerleaders.

Katana almost did a spit take with the contents in her solo cup. Quickly, she scanned the crowd, seeing her ex, she now gripped onto your arm and pulled you through the crowd.

Soon you were faced with your mountain man, who looked amazing dressed in a sexy dark green, might you add. You rubbed the arm that Katana had just been gripping as you stood in front of them.

“Are you alright, Y/N?” Aone asked, looking concerned as his eyes scanned your arm.

He is so flipping sweet!

You nod.

“I know that parties aren’t your thing so I wasn’t sure when I texted you an invitation. But.....you came,” you breathed a sigh of happy relief.

“You asked me to.” He responded, unaware of how romantic that sounded to you or anybody with ears.

He is so oblivious to how gorgeous he is, you thought.

Aone turned to look at your best friend briefly.

“Happy Birthday, Katana. This is from the three of us.” Aone handed Katana a card that had a hefty gift card inside of it to her favourite makeup store (Y/N’s idea after Aone sweetly asked what he should get her).

A/N: AONE IS HUMAN GOALS - DON’T @ ME.

“Kenji you got me a gift??? That is SO SWEET!”

Futakuchi rolled his eyes. “It’s from the three—“

“Come inside with me and I’ll open it!” Katana grabbed the volleyball captain’s hand and pulled him into the swarm of people, towards the house.

Aone almost felt bad bringing his friend to his clingy ex’s party because he needed him there—until he looked back down at you smiling up at him—after which he couldn’t feel anything else but happy even if he wanted to. You made him so unbelievably happy.

“Oh and Um, Y/N, I know this isn’t your birthday, but this is for you.” Aone handed you a card as well.

You hesitated, confused.

Blushing, Aone explained quickly, really hoping that his fight to get you this wasn’t going to make you think he was creepy. “I just thought that.... if we gifted Katana a Fenty Beauty gift card, she’d best enjoy shopping with you—her best friend. So I-I got you a gift card, t-too.” He finished sheepishly.

Bursting inside with butterflies, you gave your date a finger curl again, which he now knew meant to lean down so that you could kiss his cheek. This time you pressed your lips to his cheek a little longer than the last time, and although it was a sweet gesture, Aone felt the blood begin to rush down to his nether region.

You pulled away just in time.

“Thank you. That’s very kind of you, Aone.” You whispered in his ear.

Aone flushed, standing back up to his height hurriedly.

“My pleasure.” He replied shakily.

And was it ever. Because of Aone’s long brewed feelings for you, even your two simple kisses on his cheek kept him awake at night, sometimes recalling the way your soft and perfect lips felt as he showered in the mornings gripping his cock.

He was so happy to be given a chance it was like his increasing hormones and already strong romantic feelings were fighting for dominance now that you were physically interacting with him, albeit minimally.

For the past few weeks you two have been taking your budding friendship/romance incredibly slow, Aone too afraid to push further than you were willing to go, and for you: that just being the speed you take. You two spoke in class, had some lunches together, Aone offered to carry your books and walk you to cheer practice.... things like that. You were just getting to know eachother and you’d even let him take you out on a romantic dinner date last weekend. You always took it really slow with boys until you felt that they were important enough, which is why your ex-baseball player got frustrated with you last year. But that wasn’t Aone. He believes that he would gladly accept just this if that’s what you wanted, though he desperately wanted more. He wanted to call you his.

To you, everything was going extremely well and you were beginning to kind of start looking forward to seeing him in the halls at school as 3rd year rolled around. You may have an itsy bitsy crush on the volleyball player....but you didn’t know for sure. The most you two had ever done was kiss him on the cheek twice, which Aone was MORE THAN HAPPY with.

“You look so handsome, by the way, green is your colour.”

Aone looked away then, snapping out of his day dream about your kisses on his cheek but unable to relax when you complimented him. He couldn’t believe you were giving him all this attention. You were so perfect and someone as perfect as you didn’t choose guys like him.

Well, you hadn’t chosen him yet, Takanobu reminded himself sadly.

“Thank you, Y/N. And you look.....um.....w-well.........” His eyes fell to your mouth-watering curves in that dress. You could tell he very much liked your appearance.

You laughed, deciding to tease him.

“I look...’um?’ That bad, Aone-san? What? Tell me.” You poked his stomach, not dismissing the fact that his stomach was actually rock hard muscle.

Fuck.

Aone shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts and pretend he hasn’t been crushing on you forever so he could speak clearly.

“No, not bad. Quite the contrary.” His face softened as he looked back at your face. “I’m trying to tell you in the most respectful way that you look......that you look like the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.”

On instinct, your face broke out into an ear splitting smile. Aone felt like he’d won the fucking lottery seeing you smile like that at him.

“Thank you, Takanobu! Care to enjoy the party with me?” You reached your hand out and the middle blocker just stared at it for a few seconds, still shook from your dazzling smile. Luckily, Kanji was still there so he pushed Aone inconspicuously from behind, allowing him to snap out of it and take your small hand in his large one.

Aone had to take a deep breath when you turned away to lead him into the crowd because the feeling of your hand in his made him feel utterly complete.

He was falling harder n faster than ever before.

And there were no brakes.

He just prayed you’d start falling, too, and soon.

———————————

taglist: @crushzone @galagcica @nairobiisqueen @chaichai-the-weeb

Part 7.5: CLICK HERE

[p-and-p-admin]

Interview given to The Severus Snape and Hermione Granger Shipping Fan Group.  (sharing here Admin approved)

https://www.facebook.com/groups/199718373383293/

Hello Oracle Obscured and welcome to Behind the Quill, thank-you for letting us get to know you a little better.

Many readers will know you already and if they don’t I encourage them to look your works up including Teaching Miss Granger and How I learned to love teachers’ meetings

Okay, let’s jump right in.

What's the story behind your pen name?

Hmmm ... that’s kind of a weird answer for me. I wanted to choose a name that didn’t immediately indicate whether I was male or female. I’d noticed a certain freedom afforded to authors of indistinguishable gender. With no societal construct about the “nature” of the creator, the story stood on its own, without prejudice or conditioned expectations.

I brainstormed about six or seven names and then picked the one that appealed to me most. I’ve always felt drawn to the idea of oracles (those who see beyond). And I definitely felt obscured in that department. (Hell, at the time, my whole life felt obscured.)

Which Harry Potter character do you identify with the most?

I don’t know if I do. I guess if I had to pick, I’d say Hermione, as I have a tendency to be an obsessive perfectionist when it comes to work/studying. I like to be organized and plan things out. And I can be quite demanding and harsh with myself when I feel like I’m not measuring up to my own insane ideals.

But I took that openpsychometrics.org statistical quiz a while back, where you answer like a bazillion comparison questions (I did the longer version), and my highest HP match was Remus Lupin (83%). Yeah, I can see that.

Luna is my favorite character, but I don’t know if I identify with her more than anyone else.

Do you have a favourite genre to read? (not in fic, just in general)

It used to be horror/suspense, but ... I don’t know ... I’m just not as into it anymore. Maybe it’s because the real world is horrifying enough without adding fictional monsters to the mix.

Now I mostly read classics.

Do you have a favourite "classic" novel?

To Kill a Mockingbird.

At what age did you start writing?

Just writing stories in general? Maybe second grade. It wasn’t a passion or anything, just something I was pretty good at. I only really did it at school, though, not so much at home. I read A LOT growing up, so I naturally imagined that I might be an author one day. I tried to write a book when I was about 13 or 14, but less than one chapter in, I decided it was too hard. (I was NOT a Hermione growing up. Planning and perseverance were not my style.)

I took a massive break from thinking after high school (the smorgasbord of medications I was on didn’t like me using my brain too much, and my plans for college went out the window when my depression become unmanageable). I didn’t really start writing again until I was about twenty-seven. That was when I found fanfiction. I consider that when I really started writing.

How did you get into writing fanfiction?

I found fanfiction while looking for erotica. Needless to say I discovered the motherlode, and I was hooked. Over the years, I’d written bits and pieces of my own sexy scenarios (which is what you do when you grow up without the internet and you have to depend on your imagination for all your kink requirements), but I’d never really thought about taking someone else’s “story world” and using it as my setting. For a little over a year I read/devoured all the HP fanfiction I could, and then I realized I could take all the fantasies in my head and play them out with my favorite characters.

The first story I wrote was a funny/smutty Ginny/Draco thing, and it was HORRIBLE. The story and the sex were fine, but the writing was a nightmare. I submitted it to The Restricted Section, which was the only site I knew at the time, and they vetted their stories, so I had to get approved. They wrote me back saying it needed work and I should get a beta. So I went on the forum and found one (which was rather brave of me now that I think back). The person who helped me must’ve had the patience of a saint, because he/she(?) never said a damn thing about all the mistakes and shitty-ness. Suggestions and corrections were made, and I changed some of the pronouns to names so it wouldn’t sound so repetitive. The next time I submitted it, they accepted, and I got a decent response for a first-time writer (like three or four nice reviews). No one seemed to hate it, and the reviewers said the sex was hot, so I tried again, hoping to do better.

That’s when I wrote the first chapter of Teaching Miss Granger. It started out as just a oneshot. And it got a much better response. I wanted to write more, but I became extremely depressed and lethargic, and I didn’t really do anything for the next six or seven years. (I mean nothing. Unless you consider watching every episode of Law & Order CI and SVU ten times over to be an accomplishment.)

I came back to it years later, intending to add a few chapters to TMG where they have sex, but ... it just sort of evolved into the monster that it is. I worked on it pretty much every day for about a year. I’d never stuck with ANYTHING that long in my entire life.

What's the best theme you've ever come across in a fic? Is it a theme represented in your own works?

I would say love or “the power of love” is probably my favorite theme. But that includes synonyms for love as well. (Like wholeness, which is the theme of Quartet.)

What fandoms are you involved in other than Harry Potter?

None. I like other fandoms, but I don’t write for them, and I don’t usually read their fanfiction.

If you could make one change to canon, what would it be? Do you have a favourite piece of fanon?

I’ve never really thought about changing cannon. I mean, I change it to suit my fictional purposes (like Snape lives etc.), but I wouldn’t want to change canon for real. The deaths in HP serve a purpose, and while I find many of those deaths heartbreaking, that’s kind of the point. Hatred is bleak and destructive, and good people don’t survive wars simply because they’re good; bad things happen to good people all the time. As for changing something about the individual characters, I can’t get behind that either. The reasons people do things are multifaceted and complex and they’re colored by a lifetime of experiences I will never know or understand, so I don’t feel I can really judge. I can’t say I understand all the choices I’ve made in my own life, and there’ve been plenty of times where I had no choice at all. I can’t hold others to more rigorous standards than I myself can meet. We all have our shortcomings. (And that’s cool. Without them, there would be no growth or diversity.)

Do I have a favorite piece of fanon? Hmmm ... probably Head Boy and Head girl rooming together or having private rooms.

Oh! And uniforms.

Do you listen to music when you write or do you prefer quiet?

I used to listen to really quiet classical music while wearing headphones. Every little sound in the house distracts me, and I have to block it out. But lately I’ve just been running this old box fan that drowns out the noise.

What are your favourite fanfictions of all time?

Crap, I don’t know if I can choose. (Plus I feel like I’ve forgotten a lot of what I’ve read.)

My friend Desert Sea is my fav Hermione/Severus writer. Out of her stories, the ones I like best are In Their Hands and At the Headmaster’s Discretion.

After a brief search of my accounts, I’ll go with:

Do Not Go Gentle by senlinyu

Another Dream by dragoon811

The Last Twenty-Four Hours of Severus Snape by CryingCinderella

Pretty much everything by Aurette

Pet Project by Caeria

Post Tenebras, Lux by Loten

All the SS/HG stuff from snapeslittleblackbuttons

There’s a Teddy Radiator story that I like a lot, but I can’t remember the name of it. (Or what it’s about.) (Yes, very helpful, I know.)

And in a category all it’s own is Farmer Granger and the Most Glorious Cock by MyWitch. (Seriously, I read this like once a month and it makes me laugh every time.)

I read a lot of Drarry too. Drarry stories I love:

Everything by bixgrl1, but especially Balance Imperfect and In Evidence of Magical Theory

Everything by lq_traintracks (even the non-Drarry stuff). The writing is amazing.

I love all the advent stories by Saras_girl.

I like all the Drarry stories I’ve read by Faithwood.

I really like RZZMG’s writing. (No particular story or pairing.)

And I just rediscovered a story I found in 2007 (the first m/m fic I ever read). It’s a Snarry, which I know isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but it was excellent. Snape: the Home Fries Nazi by pir8fancier

Are you a plotter or a pantser? How does that affect your writing process?

I enjoy a bit of both. My oneshots are all pantsed. TMG was totally pantsed. But Getting Personal and Quartet were both plotted and planned. For GP I did sort of a chapter by chapter synopsis before starting my rough draft, and for Q I went into even more detail—EVERYTHING was planned out ahead of time. The only thing that changed during the first draft was I ended up combining some of the chapters.

How does plotting affect my writing process compared to pantsing? It streamlines it. In a oneshot there’s not much to streamline; the basic story (or general idea) is all you really need. There’s not enough story to get muddled. But when I’m writing something longer, with multiple chapters, I find it’s better to know where the story is going. How deeply I go into that planning can vary. Sometimes there’s just a basic outline of the major plot points and then I fly by the seat of my pants from there. Sometimes I write out a very rough synopsis (sort of like a short and loose first draft) and then start writing as if it’s my second draft. Things inevitably get changed once I really start writing, so the planning isn’t set in stone by any means, but when I plan, the story goes in the general direction I intend without veering too far off course and there aren’t any plot holes. After I wrote TMG (with no planning) I saw that there was A LOT I could have cut or combined without affecting anything important. I learned a little more with each story I wrote, and when I got to Q, there was a lot of complicated ideas that I wanted to incorporate, and there were so many characters (and character arcs) going on that I had to plan extensively to make sure everything fit together. If I hadn’t worked it out ahead of time, it would’ve been like throwing a heap of puzzle pieces on the table but not being given a reference picture to know what it was I was working toward.

What is your writing genre of choice?

I have no idea. Plotty sex? Erotic dramady? Some of it is just straight up PWP, but I usually like to have something meaningful in there too.

Which of your stories are you most proud of? Why?

Usually the answer is whatever I’ve most recently written, as it’s the most likely to represent my current “best.” In terms of writing, I’ll go with A Brush with Magic, but Quartet is probably my best storytelling. A lot went into that (symbolism, planning, obsessive re-writes) and it holds a good deal of personal meaning to me. So, I guess I’ll go with Q due to the time and effort involved.

Did it unfold as you imagined it or did you find the unexpected cropped up as you wrote? What did you learn from writing it?

The unexpected always crops up (even with all my planning), and it’s the unexpected that makes the magic.

While I had many insights into my own nature while writing Quartet, in the end I think it taught me to trust/listen to myself more.

Later, however, it brought me a very different message. While writing it, I felt a lot of tension and anxiety; I wanted to “do it right” and present my story in the best light. But after some time away, I realized I’d been so worried because I felt as if that story represented me, as if it defined me. And the pressure of being judged worthy or unworthy had been eating me alive.

But I don’t feel that way anymore. Now it’s like I wrote all my stories in another lifetime. While they all might be a snapshot of a fraction of my mind, nothing I create ever says a damn thing about who or what I truly am. Since letting go of that, I’ve found a sense of freedom around writing. I still like to express things as clearly and beautifully as I can, but it’s more a celebration of words than a search for acceptance.

How personal is the story to you, and do you think that made it harder or easier to write?

Quartet was extremely personal to me when I wrote it, and in a lot of ways I think that made it easier to write. When I have to go strictly by imagination, I feel as if I’m missing some depth of understanding (like I’m getting the surface-level stuff, but missing the nuance). When I write from experience, it has an entirely different quality. Richer. More intimate. It’s work to write what I don’t know, but it’s easy to write the truth.

Posting, however, is an entirely different story. Other people don’t always want the truth, and if you feel like your story is an extension of you, it can hurt to have any part of it rejected.

What books or authors have influenced you? How do you think that shows in your writing?

I think everything I’ve ever read or seen has influenced me. In terms of writing, I guess I’d say I’m inspired by beauty in all its forms. When I first started reading fanfiction, I just searched for the kinks I liked; it was all about the sex (with bonus points for having a decent plot). Then one day I read an extremely well-written PWP (I don’t remember what), and the way the author described the sex was so unlike anything I had ever read, it totally blew my mind. It was art. Exquisite art. And before that, I didn’t know sex could be art. That author didn’t just recount the characters’ actions, they painted a word masterpiece—they turned porn into poetry. THAT was what I wanted in my life. And I didn’t know it until that moment.

Books/authors that stick with me:

The Harry Potter series (obviously).

Shel Silverstein (Love the poetry, but The Giving Tree is one of my favorite books of all time.)

Dr. Seuss (Always.)

Judy Blume (I still have my copy of Are You There God it’s Me Margaret from when I was, like, 10. Tiger Eyes is my favorite of hers.)

R.L. Stine (I got hooked prior to the creation of the Goosebumps series, but I had EVERY Fear Street Book he wrote when I was in middle school.)

Weekend by Christopher Pike (This was the first YA thriller I ever read. *Sigh* memories. I still have my original copy, and I still read it every once in a while. The characters and plot are great.)

Stephen King (Carrie is my fav.)

Anne Rice (I’ve read all the vampire and witch books, but The Witching Hour is the only one I’ve read multiple times. Blackwood Farm is my next favorite.)

To Kill a Mockingbird

Charles Dickens (David Copperfield is my fav.)

Jane Austen (I can’t pick between Pride & Prejudice and Sense & Sensibility.)

Thomas Harris (Brilliant writing, and Hannibal might be one of the most intriguing anti-heros ever.)

Stieg Larsson (Another brilliant writer with a brilliant character.)

The Giver by Lois Lowry (I haven’t read the rest of the trilogy. And I haven’t seen the movie. I refuse to besmirch my childhood love with Hollywood’s interpretation.)

Bridge to Terabithia (This book devastated me as a child.)

Gillian Flynn (Sharp Objects is my fav.)

Liane Moriarty (I like all of her books, especially Big Little Lies. The way she plays with the timeline is masterful.)

Frank Herbert’s Dune. (I grew up on this. It’s my dad’s all-time favorite book. And, yes, we’re looking forward to the new movie.)

Margaret Atwood (The Handmaid’s Tale is horrifyingly wonderful. And Atwood herself is fascinating. Watch her Masterclass if you get the chance.)

Steinbeck’s East of Eden (This might be my second favorite book.)

The Lucifer Effect by Phillip Zimbardo (This isn’t fiction, but it was the first book that really affected the way I see the world.)

Eisler’s The Chalice and the Blade (Also not fiction. If you’re interested in the divine feminine and a more egalitarian society, this is the book for you.)

Loving What Is by Byron Katie (The only self-help book that’s ever actually helped me.)

Daphne Du Maurier (I love Rebecca, but she also has a story called “The Blue Lenses” that isn’t really intended to be scary, but it freaked me the fuck out.)

The Secret History by Donna Tartt (Gorgeous writing, and the plot left me seriously disturbed.)

One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest by Ken Kesey (Gah! I love this. The writing and the story and the characters and EVERYTHING!)

Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury (I Bradbury’s writing style, but the plot of F451 is pure horror for any book hoarder lover.)

The Lord of the Flies by William Golding (This might be my third favorite book ever. No, wait, I might like it better than East of Eden. I can’t choose!)

The Diary of Anne Frank (How in the hell could anyone read this and not be affected by it?)

Do people in your everyday life know you write fanfiction?

No. This is my own private world, and I like it that way.

How true for you is the notion of "writing for yourself"?

Very. I write what I want to read. There are certain adjustments I make when I write for other people as opposed to what I do when writing strictly for myself, but nothing major. I refuse to write things I have no interest in, and I don’t write to make people happy. I write to please myself. (But it’s nice when what pleases me pleases others. It’s wonderful to share that connection.)

How important is it for you to interact with your audience? How do you engage with them? Just at the point of publishing? Through social media?

I like hearing from my readers. I don’t have a lot of time to interact, but I like talking to my audience and listening to their insights. I try to reply to all the comments I get on AO3 (it’s just too hard on FFN). And when I have free time (which isn’t often) I check my FB groups to see what’s going on. To me, the interaction kind of completes the creative cycle; it helps me set the story free and allow it to be. It really belongs to the reader once I’ve published, and it’s nice to see the ripples creativity creates.

What is the best advice you've received about writing?

Unless it’s absolutely necessary, stop using the word “was.” Completely changed my writing.

What do you do when you hit writer's block?

It doesn’t really happen that much, as I usually know where I’m going with my story, but there can be glitches between scenes or times when I can’t find the words for something (like ending a chapter). When that happens, I usually just leave it and come back later—I can’t force it if it won’t come.

If I really need to get it done for some reason, I read what I have over and over, adding a little bit more each time, trying out words that “sound right” and building what I need bit by bit. What I come up with isn’t always right or what I want, but at least I have something to work with. Sometimes seeing what’s wrong makes what you want more obvious.

Has anything in real life trickled down into your writing?

Yeah, just about everything Sex, depression, anxiety, personal growth, likes/dislikes, insights, interests, philosophy, all my little neuroses. Every once in a while I’ll even include some dialogue from real life.

Do you have any stories in the works? Can you give us a teaser?

I’m juggling about five long stories right now (plus a couple oneshots). And I haven’t worked on any of them in ages. I don’t know what’s going on with me; I’m just not in the mood. I don’t want to say what they are, as I might never finish them. (Two are Drarry and three are Sevmione. One is a compilation of oneshots. Four of them are completely planned out and just need to be written. The unplanned Drarry was always just meant to be for myself and I doubt I’ll ever release it.)

Any words of encouragement to other writers?

Yes. Enjoy the whole writing/creative process as much as possible. Try not to beat yourself up, and don’t try to force yourself to be better. You will naturally get better the more you write. Change is inevitable; allow it to happen. Read books about writing, and read good writers. Notice what brings you the most pleasure when you read and tap into that same pleasure when you write. Play with words and ideas just for fun. Watch and see what appears. There is no perfect.

If you’re writing about sex (because I get asked about that a lot), write what turns YOU on. Don’t try to be sexy. Don’t try to write what you think other people want to hear. Don’t worry about what other people think (at least in the first draft). If they don’t like it they can go read something else. But if YOU like it, it will shine through in your writing, and that will have a bigger impact on your reader than any activity you describe. Also, the physicality is only a fraction of the sexual experience. Don’t turn your sex scenes into a play-by-play. You’re not really writing about what the characters are doing so much as how what they’re doing affects them. It’s a personal experience, and the more personal you make it (the more honest and vulnerable you are as a writer) the more satisfying the story will be for your reader. Wise words! Thank-you so much for speaking with us today Oracle Obscured.

[jungshookz]

ok but like hot yoga instructor jungkook and his highly flustered, very inflexible student y/n

→ pairing: jeon jungkook x reader

→ genre: nonidol!au, yogainstructor!au, everyone joined this class to drool over jungkook 

→ wordcount: 4k

→ note: i have never ever wanted to partake in yoga in my entire life but if jungkook is the instructor then sign me the hYUCK up!!!!!!! y/n wears leg warmers!!! and jungkook thinks it’s adorable!!!!! 

(gif isn’t mine!) ((also i have never seen this gif before wtf)) 

whoever said that yoga was a relaxing and stress-reducing activity has CLEARLy lost their goddamn mind

because you’re pretty sure that if you wrung your t-shirt out you’d be able to produce an ocean’s worth of pure sweat and you’ve never been so stressed in your entire life

at the start you were pretty excited about signing up for yoga because it felt like that was your first real move as a Grown Woman

you signed up by yourself when usually you would never go to something without someone by your side (also namjoon was too busy so he couldn’t make it)

you went out and bought a brand new (expensive) yoga mat and like 4 pairs of leggings and 5 new shirts all meant speciFICally for yoga (you got a water bottle for FREE so if you think about it it was a pretty good deal)

anD you found these super cute leg warmers that coincidentally match with the yoga mat 

you don’t think you’re supposed to wear leg warmers when doing yoga but they’re sO cute :-(( 

but that was a month and a bit ago

back when you were young and naive

so, so naive

you were a FOOL

you would’ve dropped out of this class eons ago but uh

there is one thing that’s keeping you here

“remember, everybody! the purpose of yoga is to build strength, awareness and harmony in both the mind and body… we are now going to be moving onto core exercises!”

and that one thing is jeon jungkook

holy moLY the guy is attractive

twenty two years old (he’s only a couple months older than you!)

perfectly tousled hair that falls perfectly in front of his eyes and when he gets sweaty and pushes his hair back to reveal his forehead it just gets you fEELIN some typa way

round brown eyes that literally twinkle when he laughs (his laugh is juSt as adorable as him)

you didn’t think you were into guys with piercings but jungkook has two silver hoops hanging from his ears so now you know you’re definiTEly into guys with piercings

biceps that you would love to bite into

broad shoulders that you want to wrap your arms around

an even broader back that you want to diG your nails into

every now and then you catch a glimpse of his abs when he lifts his arms to do stretches

at the end of class he likes to do this cool-down/meditation activity where he dims the lights and gets you guys to lie down on your yoga mats and jungkook will wander around the room and he’ll speak in this low, whispery voice (“imagine that you’re in the middle of a lush, grassy field…”) and you can’t help but feel like that does the exact opposite of cooling you down because you find yourself sweating more than ever when you hear him approaching you

contrary to popular belief (aka namjoon’s belief) you didn’t actually join this class because of him

you joined it because you genuinely wanted to get into yoga and you were (this close) to dropping out but you staYed because of him

with that being said

it’s not like you’ve made any moves to go and talk to him because:

a) there’s always a hoArd of girls who flock to him as soon as class ends and

b) you’re terrified of talking to pretty people and jungkook is a very pretty person

you wouldn’t even know what to talk to him about if you got the chance to talk to him

you certainly wouldn’t want to ask him to help you with a yoga pose because that’d mean him focusing all of his attention on you and that’s the laST thing you want because

it turns out you’re not as good at this yoga thing as you thought you would be

you thought yoga was just overrated stretching but you were heavily mistaken after the first week of being in jungkook’s classes

it’s not just sTRETching

it’s all about balancing and being in touch with your inner chi or whatever the fuck the flyer said

you’re also not as flexible as you thought you were

you nearly pulled your damn hamstring at some point and the sudden twinge in your thigh made you collapse on the ground in less than a millisecond

there was this other pose that jungkook had everyone do

something called the flamingo pose which yOu thought was just standing up straight with one knee up which is pretty doable in your opinion

HOWEVER  

you actually have to bend down and round your back whiLe hugging a knee to your chest and you were like??? i have nEver in my life seen a flamingo stand like this

anyways you lasted about three seconds before you toppled over once again

you’re pRETTY sure the rest of the girls in here are secretly really good at yoga because none of them seem to have issues with balancing

this is a beginner’s class and you have a sneaking suspicion that these ladies.,,, are not beginners.,,. at ALL

there are about 20 people in here (including you)

you haven’t really made an effort to hang out with anyone

well

there was the first week that classes started that you kind of talked to some girls who were in the back (they moved their mats to the front now for obvious reasons)

you went out to grab some drinks with them after class one evening and needless to say, the entire time you were talking to them you were slighTLY uncomfortable and you ended up calling namjoon and pleading that he leave the library early to come and pick you up

PLUS you guys didn’t go out for real drinks

you went to a dumb smoothie place and you ended up paying like $8 for a banana almond milk thingy (it was pretty good but that’s beside the point)

anyways

every time you brought up a new topic somehow they would round it back to ‘how cute the instructor is’ which was fAIR but you just wanted a chance to talk about how the flamingo pose doesn’t make any sense

“what did you guys think of today’s exercises?” you shift and cross your (sore) legs before taking a sip of your smoothie and looking around at the girls

“oh, they actually weren’t that bad!”

“yeah, i thought they were pretty easy. the flamingo one was a piece of cake!”

“the pistol squat wasn’t as bad as i thought it’d be!”

noises of agreement go round the table and you furrow your brows

the pistol squat was AWFUL

essentially you had to squat down (your butt can’t touch the ground)

keep one foot flat on the ground

stick one leg out and keep your toes pointed to the sky

and then raise your arms up and keep your fingers pointed to the sky too (“reach through your fingertips…”)

surprisingly enough you didn’t fall over but you were starting to tremble uncontrollably and your body was BEGGING you to stop

you decide not to say anything because the last thing you want is to be ouTed as the weakest person in the group (even though it’s already pretty obvious) ((no offence))

“say, ariel, i noticed you kept asking for help!” you clear your throat and look over at the brunette “did you struggle with the flamingo pose too because lemme tell yA I-“

“oh, please. ariel didn’t need any help - she just wanted jungkook to wrap his big, strong arms around her-“

“hey, he was the one who put his hands on my waist and pulled me in-“

“uH, you foRced his hands on your waist like that- we all saw you, you hO!”

“to be fair i probably would’ve done the same thing”

“sAME”

the table bursts into giggles and they start betting on who’s going to score with him first and thaT’s when you decide that now would be a good time to text namjoon to save you

you feel SCAMMED

you thought you would finally be joining the gal pal yoga group of your dreams but these girls are from the gal pal yoga group from the fiery depths of hELL

(side note they’re actually very nice girls but you just feel like maybe you guys are meant to be yoga acquaintances only)  

anyways

“-moving on to core exercises!”

you let out a quiet groan and let your head flop down a little

you hATE the core exercises

the flamingo was a core exercise

the pistol squat was a core exercise

if anything you’ve learned that you’re the woRSt at core exercises

your favourite is the corpse pose because it’s literally just lying down on your back

you are the expERt of the corpse pose

“alright, ladies. we’re going to try something a little different today!” jungkook claps his hands together before smiling brightly “we’re going to go from the chaturanga pose, push up to a high plank, get back down in the dolphin pose, and end with forearm plank.”

oh god

that’s not one core exercises

that’s fouR core exercises rolled into one mEGA core exercise

you swallow thickly and look around to see if anyone looks as nervous as you do

everyone’s just drooling over jungkook

greAt

allow me to demonstrate!” jungkook chirps and steps onto his yoga mat and you sit up straighter to get a better view of him

it’s a little tough because you’ve stuck yourself in the back in the corner of the room but anything’s better than making eye contact with jungkook while you’re a red and sweaty mess

“the chaturanga is kind of like if you combined a plank with a tricep push up. remember to keep your elbows close to your body while keeping them bent at a 90 degree angle. don’t let your knees hit the ground!” he lowers himself down to the ground and you hear the girl next to you let out a quiet gasp because yes, jungkook’s biceps just flexed we gET IT

“from there, we push up to a high plank-“ jungkook pushes himself up in one smooth movement “make sure to lengthen your tailbone to your heels- you should be able to feel the burn in your thighs…” jungkook also has very nice thighs in case that wasn’t mentioned earlier

“the dolphin pose is easy to get to from a high plank because all you have to do is bend your body like an upside down v-“ jungkook slowly bends to an upside down v “-and finally, the forearm plank that we’ll hold for… 30 seconds. everyone got it?”

a collective hum goes around the room and you literally want to sCREAM into the void

how?????? how the hELL are you supposed to bend your body like that????

you’re going to have to soak in the tub when you go home later

there’s no way you’re going to be able to do all of that without literally passing out

you know what

it’ll be fine

just don’t think too hard about it and you’ll be fine

but for the love of god

please try noT TO fall over again

1. chaturanga

so far so good

this is a loT harder than planking because you’re holding yourself up on your hands rather than your forearms

but you’re holding yourself up pretty well!!!

you give yourself a mental pat on the back

maybe yoga doES help with upper body strength after all

“looking good, ladies… if it gets too hard for you, feel free to lower your knees to the ground!” jungkook steps around the room and keeps his hands behind his back

he’s on the other side of the room but you kinda wish he was on youR side of the room to see you totally nAILING this the chatamango or whatever it’s called

2. high plank

you let out a breath of relief when jungkook calls the time and asks that everyone push themselves up into a high plank

which is basically the beginning pose of a push up but then you just hold yourself

you grin like a maniac because once again you are KILLING this move

your arms are starting to hurt a little bit and you feel your butt moving higher up into the air aka your body is starting to reject the high plank

“if you feel the burn in your core and your thighs, that means it’s working!” jungkook claps his hands together

it feels like someone’s holding a flamethrower to your stomach and your thighs and your eyes squeeze shut in discomfort

jungkook starts to head towards the back of the room where you are and you curse quietly

why couldn’t he have come over during the chuttabango?????

your arms start trembling slightly and you grit your teeth

jEsus

cALL THE TIME

CALL IT

“am i doing it right, jungkook?” ariel chirps and you raise your head to look over at her

jungkook turns to glance at her before nodding his head “yep!” he responds simply

“are- are you sure?” ariel stammers and you snort quietly when you see her push her butt up slightly “maybe you can help push me down-“

“okay, dolphin pose!”

3. dolphin pose

you let your eyes flutter shut and your eyes drop when you finally get yourself in the right position

you can’t help but wonder why this would be called the dolphin pose

maybe you’re supposed to make dolphin noises whiLE doing the post

“it’s y/n, right?” you jump in surprise when jungkook’s face appears riGht in front of yours

oH GOD

you look up at him from the position you’re in and you nearly choke

you’re probably as red as an apple right now anD you’re sure your high ponytail from earlier is now a sad droopy ponytail

it’s noT a good time for jungkook to see you

“uh, yes! yes, that’s me.” you’re not sure if you should get up or stay in this position and you shift slightly on your mat

“would you mind if i helped you a little bit?” he smiles kindly and you furrow your brows

“with what?” you turn your head as jungkook gets up to walk around so that he’s behind you

“it’s just that your back is a little too arched for my liking. is it okay if i…” you glance over your shoulder and your heart starts raCING when you see jungkook hovering his hands over you

“oh, uh, i guess?” you turn back to face the front

jungkook presses a hand to the small of your back before sliding it up your spine to straighten you out and you feel your entire face beginning to burn up when he leans in and bends down over you

he splays his hand in between your shoulder blades

“good, there we go… make sure to keep your ribcage and tummy really suCked in.” jungkook slides his hands down your sides and pulls you backwards a little

and then it happens

it happens

it

happens

your bum accidentally brushes up against his crotch

and then your foot slips slightly and you quite literally push RIGHT up against jungkook

you feel him freeze

well

now you’re going to have to leave the country and change your name

you’re tempted to burrow your face into the crook of your elbow to keep yourself from screaMING

“good!” jungkook clears his throat and gives the small of your back a pat “yep, that’s good! i, uh… everyone, feel free to move into the final position if you’d like! i… i will be right back!”

you press your lips together when you feel jungkook pull away from you before he’s scurrying off to the door

oh my god

your ass brushed up against his-

and then you puSHED BACK-

OH My god

you immediately flop down on your yoga mat and flip over so that you’re on your back

you’re panting slightly from the exertion of the exercises and you scrunch your nose in frustration

goOD ONE

“what do you mean you can’t come and pick me up?” you whine into the phone and plop down on the bench

you wince immediately

your ass and the backs of your thighs feel like someone beat you with a baseball bat and then set ur lower body on fire 

you keep your phone sandwiched between your ear and your shoulder as you move to put your shoes back on

class ended twenty-ish minutes ago so now you’re in the locker room changing out of your sweaty clothes

after jungkook got back from wherever it was he went he was like how about we end class eaRLy today

most people were disappointed even though he was only ending it like 5 minutes earlier

you noticed him watching you as you rolled up your mat but you could noT look him in the eye and you zipped out of there so quickly

u didn’t say goodbye either

what were you even supposed to say to him

‘hey, you remember when i like, pushed my ass up against you and arched my back? total accident! okay, see you next time!’

you shudder at the thought

jungkook probably thinks you’re a little pErv now

“i’m sorry!!!” namjoon sighs on the other end of the phone “i told you i had a date tonight bro”

“i know bRo but you said you didn’t have to pick her up til 7 and it’s only 5:45 so you have plenTy of time to swing by and pick me up then drive me home!!! c’mON it’s raining out please don’t make me take the bus home-“

“i’ll make it up to you somehow, okay?? by the way - i might not come home tonight if, uh… you know. if the date goes well.”

“so now you’re telling me that not only will i be eating dinner alone - i will also be in the apartment aLONE in the middle of a terrifying thunderstorm”

a beat of silence goes by

“…yep.”

you let out a huff and roll your eyes “alright, fine. have fun on your date. be safe. call me if you need anything.” you hang up and toss your phone into your duffel bag before pulling your sweatshirt on

you let out a quiet groan when you realize you didn’t even bring an umbrella with you

so now you’re probably going to catch a coLD

you push the swinging door open and step out of the locker room and swing your duffle bag over your shoulder while mentally planning which bus you should take home

the 44 will probably be super full right now considering it’s the end of the work day

maybe you can take the 78? but that one goes along the highway which means it’ll take longer to get home which is noT what you want

you turn the corner and-

“ooF-“ you immediately bump into someone haRd and flop backwards onto your soRE butt

ok OW

“oh god, sorry! are you okay??” you raise your head and your heart stops in your chest when you see that you’ve bumped into

oF course

of course you rammed right into jungkook

he’s changed out of his workout gear into a pair of distressed jeans and a loose white button up and uh..,,. he’s nevEr looked better

“i’m fine, don’t worry! i-i’m sorry, i wasn’t watching where i was going-“

“no, no! it’s my bad, i probably shouldn’t have been walking so close to the corner… here, lemme help you up-“

he holds his hand out for you and you take it graciously

you seriously didn’t realise how strong jungkook actually was because he helps you up in one swift movement and you end up stumbling into his chest agaIn

“you alright there?” jungkook laughs lightly and keeps holding your hand to keep you steady

okay

here’s the deal

this is definitely the first time he’s spoken to you outside of class

he won’t lie

he didn’t actually know you existed til like the second week of class but that’s because you’re always tucked away in the back of the classroom

it was that one time you had floPPed down to the ground and shattered the silence of the room that he noticed you and your…

baby blue leg warmers (and matching yoga mat)

(which you haven’t worn for a while and he can only assume it’s because the other girls in class don’t wear them) ((he wants u to wear them again because they seemed to make u happy)) 

and since then he’s always snuck a glance or two in your direction whenever you’re not looking

you’re always cracking jokes n stuff about the poses to the person next to you 

during the five minute breaks he always sees you snacking on a granola bar or some teddy grahams and you always offer your snacks to the other girls but they shut you down most of the time which makes him >:-(

he always wants to wander to your section of the room when he walks around but riGht as he gets near you someone else is calling for his help

so today in class was the first time he got to see you in action

your dolphin pose was actually pretty good but uh

he doesn’t want to be that guy

a part of him wanted to help straighten out your back as a good instructor and the other part of him wanted to see your butt in those tight yoga leggings as a Normal Hormonal Young Man (he was not disappointed at the sight)

he just wasn’t expecting his crotch to make contact with your ass which was why he had to duCk out for a couple of minutes

anyways

“ah, i’m good… sorry about that, seriously” you let out a nervous chuckle

this is awful

you literally can’t bring yourself to look him in the eye

“what are you still doing here? most people have already left” jungkook bends down and helps pick your bag up for you

you smile shyly and take it from him “uh, my roommate was supposed to come and pick me up but he’s actually going on a date so he just called to let me know that i had to take the bus home.” you snort and shake your head “i don’t have an umbrella either so facing that-“ you gesture towards the window where the rain is basically shooting quick fire bullets against the glass “is noT going to be very pleasant.”

you hear a rumble of thunder in the distance and you swallow thickly

thunderstorms are noT fun

“how about i drive you home?” jungkook blurts out and you turn to face him

you blink owlishly at him before shaking your head “oh gosh, i can’t- no, i’ll be fine! thank you for the offer, though…”

jungkook purses his lips before suddenly snatching your bag from your grasp “well, i just decided that i was going to drive you home, so…” he hums and throws your bag over his shoulder before turning on his heel and heading out the front door

“wha-“ you squawk before you move to foLLow jungkook “jungkook, you really don’t have to-“

“move your ass, y/l/n!” you hear the ding of the elevator and you walk faSter

you step into the elevator with jungkook and let out a playful huff “you really are something, you know?”

a moment of silence goes by

jungkook turns his head slightly and the corner of his mouth twitches up in a smirk

he wasn’t going to say anything but

fuck it

he clears his throat and steps a little closer to you “by the way-“

his fingers brush over yours and you feel a little zap

“you should probably buy me dinner first before grinding up against my crotch like that-“

you let out a groan

jesus CHRIST

help me help you make your wishes come tru (aka send me a request)

drabble tag

[mwolf0epsilon]

Fic Request: Miss Twisted is causing some manner of trouble Alice Angel shows up, lectures her, and then drags her away by the ear and says something like "I have a perfectly good dinner getting cold at home and you're doing THIS"? Miss Twisted then tries to apologize and make it up to Alice.

Summary: A slight mistake in her schedule gives Miss Twisted a taste of trouble in paradise.

---

[[MORE]]

It wasn't often that the stars aligned for the sort of mischief that they were getting up to, but oh if the Society didn't enjoy it all the more when they got the chance to show up the Butcher Gang in a nice game of robbing the bank blind!

They'd used the troublesome trio of dopes as their distraction, breaking into the vault while they attempted their stick-up. Filled their bags and pockets with as much cash as possible, and then things really got interesting. You see, Charley wasn't one to share a heist, and neither was Miss Twisted. The glory would fall upon the most ruthless criminals, and that prestigious title was going to which ever of the gangs could get away with the plundered riches.

The battle was on.

"Getting tired are we?!" Missy cackled as she stared down the end of her opponent's retreating and swinging switchblade, her own dagger parrying blows aimed at her long springy arms. "What's the matter Charley boyo? Too old to tango with a dame?"

"In your dreams, princess!" He flashed her an ugly toothy grimace. "I ain't no pirate, but I can pull my weight in a swordfight. This is just the warm up!"

"Then warm up faster Charles, because the ladies don't like cold feet!" She flashed her own sharp grin at him.

"I'll remember that if I ever meet a lady then." He smirked.

"Why I oughta..." She swung her blade faster, trying to get him off balance. Behind her she could hear the struggles as Cameraman wrestled for control of their getaway vehicle from the meddling Barley, while the Brute was defending their spoils from the itsy bitsy Edgar who was trying to lasso a few bags out of his reach.

One lucky swing caught the side of Charley's blade and sent it flying from his grasp, leaving him weaponless and at the edge of the truck's open back.

"My, my... Seems like Lady Luck has a new favourite." Missy chuckled "And it ain't the leprechaun, it seems."

"Keep yappin' girly, even if you win this fight, the Butcher Gang will come on top in the end. We always do." The older male sneered. Barley and Edgar were at a loss for what to do, either continue their endeavours or risk losing their boss.

"Bouillonburg has a new crime syndicate and it sure doesn't need a trio of has-beens calling the shots anymore." And they'd all know it from this day forward, as soon as she sent the infamous leader of the Butcher Gang flying out of the back of a moving truck.

Or, she would of, if not for the truck suddenly coming to a halt and sending everyone tumbling about at the sudden stop.

"Oi! Cam what gives?!" The demoness cried out as she pushed Charley off her. "Warn a gal, wouldn't ya? I coulda snapped my neck!"

"I err... Uhm... I am quite certain that that is the least of your troubles right now..." Cameraman called back from the cabin.

"Oh yeah? Why's that?!" She put her hands on her hips and looked towards the cabin. Just barely able to make out her friend's small body and the stilts he was using to reach the pedals.

"Because I'm very certain your very angry girlfriend that is standing in front of the truck, is probably higher up on the list..." Cameraman replied as he sunk slightly in his seat to escape the glare of a very upset angel.

Miss Twisted stood there, baffled for a second, before startling.

"Oh crud, what day is it?"

"Erm...Tuesday? Barley offered.

"The 10th!" Edgar added, before tapping his chin thoughtful. "Of November!"

".....Papa Pluto's crooked teeth, I forgot our anniversary!!!" The demoness cried out in horror. She was so screwed.

"You're kidding... You forgot your anniversary?!" Cameraman looked as incredulous as a camera could. "That's low, even for you Missy."

"And rude." Brute huffed. "Missy should apologize to pretty angel lady!"

"I can't go out there! She'll eat me alive!" Her arms quickly twisted around her own head in an attempt to hide her face.

"Honestly, with Alice? Kinda deserved." Charley snorted.

"Agreed, ya should feel ashamed for standin' up the poor lass." Barley scolded.

"Yeah... We may be villains, but we'd never be so rude as to forget a date!" Edgar crossed his arms.

"None of you have girlfriends you jerks!" Missy protested.

"Uh... Charley and Barley are married?" Cameraman gawked at her. "And Brute has a boyfriend?"

"Since when?!"

"Three weeks. Long distance. They write each other... Am I the only one that listens to either of you rambling during breakfast?!" Cameraman was in disbelief.

"And yes, we're married. Edgar's our kid... We're literally a crime family." Charley pointed out.

"Pretty angel lady coming over." Brute pointed out. True to his words, the upset angel was floating over to meet them, and if looks could kill...

"Uh-oh..."

"Nice knowing you Missy. I'm taking all your stuff when you die."

"No fair! Brute want nice radio!"

"I don't need another radio, so we've got a deal big fella."

"I'm not gonna die!"

"I SPENT HOURS SLAVING OVER A STOVE AND WAITING FOR YOU, AND YOU'RE OUT HERE DOING THIS?!"

"I'm gonna die!"

-

Miss Twisted didn't die in the end, but from the scolding she'd gotten alone she might as well have died a little inside. Hell had nothing on the righteous fury of an angel crossed. Needless to say, making it up to Alice would not be easy. Especially when she's been robbing a bank and told the getaway driver to drive as recklessly and dangerously as possible in a busy road close to a school.

Thankfully, Missy was a resourceful lady. She knew how to turn situations around. Go big or go home, right? And even if it cramped her style, she'd tolerate a few of the hobbies her lady love fancied.

Playing the part of good samaritan was gag worthy, but if it made Alice happy, she'd oblige. There were ways to uphold her reputation as an emissary of misery, anyway...

And oh, if the next big hits she had planned wouldn't fix a month's worth of good deeds then nothing would! Go big or go home indeed.

The Butcher Gang wouldn't stay on top for much longer, and her girlfriend couldn't stay mad forever!

First thing was first tho, use a lot of the plundered riches to pay for a reservation at a fancy restaurant and wardrobe and accessories to match. Angel or not, Alice was still an appreciator of the mushy romantic stuff. Miss Twisted would just have to also make it up to the boys later.

[the-fiction-witch]

NSFW 100 : Newt

1. What’s the dirtiest thought you’ve ever had about a total stranger?

I don’t think of strangers that much… likely the first time I saw y/n and I kinda went ‘ “dam...boobs!”

2. Do you prefer sex at night, in the morning, mid-afternoon, or NOW?

At night, while the other boys are sleeping even if it means we have to be a little quieter so we don’t wake anyone else

3. What’s your favourite way to be seduced? 

I don’t need seducing just kinda point or poke me

4. What’s the dirtiest fantasy you’ve had at work?

Well… I had one about bending y/n over a planter while everyone was at lunch 

5. How would you dominate your boss sexually if given the chance?

No thank you, Alby or Zart either I would you rather not.

6. What do you do when you get horny in public?

Uhh… Usually take my hoodie off and wrap it around my waist so knowone sees any issues that arise.

7. Have you ever masturbated in a public bathroom?

Uuuuuuuuuuhhh…. No.

okay maybe once… or twice, before y/n became my girlfriend and she walked around the glade in… shorts.

8. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve thought about while touching yourself?

Being chained in the med jacks, with y/n. 

9. What’s the strangest prop you’ve used to get yourself off?

A pole from the gardens, I am not explaining how I used it!

10. Do you remember the first time you felt aroused?

It was once the night y/n arrived in the glade I had never felt about sex before I saw her but most of the day I was taking care of her and the other jobs I had to do so by the time I got back in my hammock I noticed it

11. Who gave you your first orgasm?

Me. 

12. Do you remember what that first orgasm felt like?

Like an explosion of repressed urges and tension. Like when you stretch and crack a bone that's been annoying for like a week.

13. Have you ever had sex with someone whose name you never knew?

Nope.

14. What’s your favourite thing about a quickie?

The sneakiness and the fact everyones happy and satisfied before we run off to do whatever we still have to do

15. What the most sexually daring thing you’ve ever done?

Sex on the watch tower… Im still surprised we did that, and that we didn’t get caught

16. Have you ever fantasized about fucking one of your teachers?

No! Definitely not. Then again I don’t remember them… so maybe I did

17. Do you ever mentally strip strangers just for kicks?

Well… not strangers. Just y/n. 

18. And then imagine, in dirty detail, what it would be like to fuck them?

Maybe, if already honry then yeah but again only y/n and even more once I didn’t have to imagine what she was hiding from me anymore just remember what she looks like without her cute clothes.

19. Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex?

Once. In dares, It was minho… not that bad actually kissing a guy better than I expected.

20. What inspires you to make the first move?

Gally did he told me if I didn't he was going to so I had to so I jumped into action and made her a picnic in the woods and I asked if I could kiss her and she said yes from there we were a couple

21. In your opinion, what does it mean to be good in bed?

It makes your partner happy and satisfied.

22. Have you ever cheated on a boyfriend or girlfriend because you just couldn’t help yourself?

No never! I would never betray y/n

23. Have you ever pushed the boundaries of fidelity to the brink and then retreated just for the rush?

No! Why would I ever want anyone but y/n, plus the only other girl is teresa… she’s nice but not for me she’s attractive sure but i'm not attracted to her plus thomas likes her and I couldn’t do that to him or to y/n

24. Do you have a go-to masturbation fantasy?

Y/n cuddling close in my bed and playing with me instead of my hand 

25. What kind of porn turns you on?

I’m not sure what is classed as porn? Is listening to y/n touch herself through her bedroom wall classed as porn? If so YES!

26. Have you ever had sex with your eyes closed?

A couple times but not on purpose sometimes it's just already dark so I can barely see anyway, or when I shut my eyes because I got a little overwhelmed

27. Have you ever blindfolded or handcuffed your partner?

Well… she kinda blindfolds me sometimes and ties me up to the bed a little

28. Does naughty talk get you aroused?

It does so so much especially if she whispered

29. Are you sure about that, my dirty little forest nymph of a sex goddess?

I am very very sure

30. What’s the dirtiest thing someone’s ever said to you during sex?

Properly “I’m going to cum my dirty little girly”

31. Have you ever watched another couple get it on without them knowing?

By accident yes. Accidently watched minho and thomas having sex in there hammock I didn’t mean to it just kinda happened

32. Have you ever watched another couple have sex with their permission?

No! Because that's creepy

33. How would you respond if a couple approached you to be their “third”?

Uhhhhhh no thank you. 

34. What’s the most flattering thing someone’s said about your naked body?

“Your such a beautiful boy” It still makes me blushy

35. When’s the last time you had a vivid sex dream?

Probably last week, they get worse when I’ve been drinking

36. What do you think an orgy would be like?

Awkward. There are two girls and sixty boys. I don’t think it would go well. I’d rather just nuzzle in y/ns bed with her let everyone else have the orgy

37. Have you ever propositioned a total stranger?

Nope, and I don’t think I’ll ever want to

38. What does your ideal one-night stand look like?

A nice dinner then a snuggle up in y/n’s bed and a sexy night until we cuddle up all night and wake up in the morning. 

39. How long does it take you to get yourself off, on average?

About half an hour depending what is being done to me

40. What’s the weirdest thing that turns you on?

Stroking, stroking hair and stroking skin just the whole thing in general

41. Have you ever had a naughty dream about a close friend or family member?

No! Only ever about y/n

42. Have you ever woken up humping your pillow?

So many times more times then I like to admit mostly before y/n started fooling around with me

43. When’s the last time you orgasmed in your sleep?

Yesterday… y/n was spooning and she kept wiping her butt on me so… I couldn’t help it

44. What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s happened to you while hooking up?

I may have… cum on y/n’s stomach the first time she let me touch her boobs. That was embarrassing

45. Do you like touching yourself in front of the people you sleep with?

I wouldn’t mind if she wanted me too but I tent to keep it a little bit of a secret that I still touch myself, even if everytime she’s caught me she lets me have sex with her

46. What’s the dirtiest text you’ve ever sent or received?

Y/n sent me a note while I was working that said if I cleaned her room for her she’d suck my dick… needless to say her room was spotless.

47. Do you prefer professional or amateur porn?

Uhhhh I guess watching y/n shower is kinda amateur porn.

48. What’s your favourite blowjob technique?

A Lot of tongue and a lot of sucking

49. If you had to pick, would you be a dominatrix or a submissive?

Submissive… she’s better incharge of me

50. Is there anything you won’t do in bed?

Nothing to do with bodily fluids… just ewwwwww!

51. What’s your dirtiest sexual fantasy? 

Being locked up all day and letting y/n do whatever she wants to me for the whole day

 52. How many people have you slept with? 

One. Just my sweet little y/n

 53. Where’s the weirdest place you’ve had sex?

The pond in the woods.

 54. What’s your favourite part of Y/n’s body? 

Her boobs.. And of course her personality, but definitely boobs

 55. Have you ever had anal sex? 

No!! And I don’t want to try! We don’t have lube in the glade! I don’t wanna try it will hurt somebody

 56. If you could choose what Y/n was wearing right now, what would you choose? 

My hoodie and her little panties or those tiny little shorts

 57. Where on your body is your favourite place to be touched? 

My hips I have a weird fascination with being touched and rubbed on my hips

 58. If you could have sex anywhere in the world, where would it be? 

Somewhere cosy and privet I don’t care where

 59. When did you first had sex? 

After Y/n had been here a year

 60. What’s the best sex you’ve ever had? 

The first time with y/n its the best ever!

 61. What’s your favourite position? 

Being ridden! I love it so much

 62. Have you ever been caught having sex? 

By Zart yes. Twice to be fair we were in the garden shed

 63. Do you watch porn? 

I watch Y/n

 64. What kind of porn do you watch? 

Y/n. I watch Y/n.

 65. How often do you masturbate? 

Twice a day… unless I get some sex

 66. Name a sex position you’d like to try?

Reverse cowgirl! Pleeeease! I wanna try so hard

 67. Do you prefer to give or receive? 

Give! I will give as much as y/n wants me too but if there if an offer to be receiving I will do anything I’m asked

  68. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

Yep in the pond in the woods

 69. What’s the most sex you’ve had in a day? 

Twelve on our day off anniversary

 70. Are you loud or quiet during sex? 

Quiet when we are trying to be sneaky but loud when we wanna make the glade here us

 71. Have you ever tried using food during foreplay? 

Never… seems sticky and gross

 72. What’s the first thing that sexually attracts you to someone? 

The personality of course… Boobs help second

 73. Would you say you have any fetishes? 

I like being restrained

 74. When it comes to BDSM, how far have you gone/would go? 

Tieing up, and maybe a little biting but that's about all

 75. What’s your favourite toy? 

Rope.... I like rope a lot

 76. Do you ever read erotic fiction? 

No… but I’m curious

 77. Have you joined the mile high club? 

No But I want to, we have fooled around in the tallest tree we could find but I want more the world will hear us!

 78. Do you think you could take off Y/n underwear with no hands? 

I have… many times. I normally use my mouth 

 79. Would you say you’re kinky? 

Kinda…

 80. Do you enjoy shower sex? 

Yes! I love shower sex! Or shower watching… anything to do with showers I am onboard!

 81. Where’s the weirdest place you’ve ever masturbated? 

The Garden shed.

 82. Do you like to be spanked? 

Well… Maybe sometimes. 

 83. Have you ever fantasised about someone else during sex? 

No! Of course not! Why would I want to

 84. If y/n caught you masturbating, would you stop or would you finish? 

I would stop if she wanted too, but normally if I get caught she takes over or finishes me off in another ways

 85. Have you ever had an inappropriate crush? 

Not really, just on y/n 

 86. Have you ever cried or fallen asleep during sex? 

I cried the first time I was so embarrassed I came so early and because of how good it felt inside y/n but only asleep after

  87. Do you prefer eye contact or not during sex? 

I love Eye contact so much it feels so nice when you have eye contact

 88. Do you like to kiss during sex? 

Kisses always 

 89. Do you get tired after sex? 

So sleepy once I’ve cum but that's perfect for cuddles

 90. How many positions do you think you’ve tried? 

Most of them I guess

 91. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sex? 

Other then before I lost my virginity, But once we did it the first time after that I think it was about three days

 92. How high is your sex drive? 

Very very high!

 93. What’s a surefire way to turn you on? 

Ask

 94. Sex with lights on or lights off? 

Candles on...

 95. Do you like dirty talk? 

Very Very Very much!

 96. Do you prefer one night stands or longer-term sexual partners? 

Long term always

 97. Do you prefer to be on top or bottom? 

Bottom!!

 98.Rough or romantic? 

Romantically rough

 99. Quickie or marathon session? 

Marathon all of the day off!

 100. What’s the best thing about our sex life? 

The amazing love of you my beautiful girl. 

[sunflowersseemhappy]

Hi! I’ve never sent an ask before, so I’m kind of nervous, but could you write about the main 6 (excluding Lucio, if that’s okay) with an MC who has scoliosis? I have the condition myself, and it sucks being in pain all the time, and I guess I would like to see that represented in an MC. You totally don’t have to do this if you feel like you don’t have the time/knowledge to do so. Regardless, I absolutely love your writing and you deserve way more asks than you receive.

Aw, bless you! No need to be nervous m’dear, it’s perfectly alright for you to request as many times as you like (no need to be shy here)! I hope I do you and others who live with scoliosis justice, but please forgive me if I make an oopsie (I’m always open to constructive criticism so if there is anything that needs tweaking feel free to let me know).

I wish you all the best now and in the future, I can’t imagine how hard it is living in pain all the time but I like to say the strongest people are the ones who live with pain everyday. Thank you for trusting me with such a personal request and for your kind words! All the love in the world 💕💕

For those of you reading this who are unaware of scoliosis: Scoliosis is a sideways curvature of the spine found in many age groups from young children and into adulthood. While scoliosis can be caused by conditions such as cerebral palsy and muscular dystrophy, the cause of most scoliosis is unknown. Scoliosis can be mild or become more severe as time goes on and may cause severe back pain in some individuals.

Treated at a young age using braces scoliosis may or may not worsen as the individual ages (often during growth spurts curvatures may worsen), if needed an individual may undergo surgery to correct the spine but it is not always guaranteed to alleviate pain. (In The Arcana medical advancements probably are not good enough for such a surgery or even knowledge to be had on how to correct a spine in this scenario).

More information can be found here and here.

Those of you waiting on requests, I will get to them but I am really busy! Up next: Main 6 react to MC being insecure because of being scrawny

Asra

Asra is careful not to treat you like a porcelain doll, despite your scoliosis Asra wants you to feel independent of him. He knows you’re a strong person and that often times you’ll want to be your own person, and he doesn’t want you to feel controlled, but if you ask for his help Asra will see you get whatever help you need.

That’s not to say he’ll ignore you when he notices you seem a bit down or in pain, because then he’s doing all he can to make you feel better. Asra wishes he could do better for you but in the end it’s a problem beyond the limits of his magic.

Asra’s tried countless times to cure you of scoliosis, but healing spells have limits and your condition is one of them. He’d have to make another deal if he wanted to cure you, but the risks are much greater.

But over the years Asra has perfected some charms and the like that have worked to alleviate most of your pain, other than the curve in your spine you almost feel normal a lot of the time.

It seems the two of you are always taking a trip to the market each day, you quickly realise this is Asra’s way of getting you out and active but its nice to walk with him and treat yourselves to some pumpkin bread despite his ‘forgetfulness’.

With your ongoing study of magic Asra has found that exercises to improve control over your casting also help in mentally and physically soothing both mind and body, he’s always saying “you can never do too many breathing exercises!”

Living in Vesuvia there is (unfortunately) no end to the people who jeer at the way you look or whisper behind your back, and that’s where Asra’s “giving you the space you need” mantra ends. He can see the hurt in your eyes and feel the shift in your aura.

He is ready to hex the next person who say’s something, usually at their own peril (you remember one man who had to beg forgiveness before Asra removed the donkey’s ears).

Afterwards Asra will take you home and just cuddle up next to you in a bad mood so its up to you to cheer him up and once you do that soft smile will be the only thing that matters.

The days your pain is so bad that not even Asra’s charms do the trick, he’ll spend with you. Magic emanating from his palms as he runs them over your spine to ease the pain, once he usually runs dry of magic Asra is too tired to do much else than snuggle with you.

Curling his arms around your body and pressing up close to you to let you know that he’s there and he won’t be going anywhere.

He feels so hopeless sometimes, but he’s there for you and that’s all that matters.

Nadia

Nadia has the highest respect for you and letting you go about life in the most normal fashion possible, but she’s the Countess of Vesuvia. She is certainly not going to let you preform tasks unaided that could cause you any kind of problem or pain.

The harsh reality for Nadia is that she can’t always be with you and although she’s not nearly as clingy as Julian, Nadia always has this constant worry in the back of her mind (so please accept her offer of having a handmaid to help out where necessary).

Does some ‘light reading’ about scoliosis and the best ways to alleviate pain, etc...

She becomes very well read on the topic and encourages you to follow some of their advice, needless to say each of the ten books has about 50 pages bookmarked for reference.

Nadia tries to involve you in lots of her core workouts to strengthen your muscles (mainly yoga and light horse riding), they can be tiring but once you get into it you do feel a bit better supporting yourself.

She had some of the finest doctors come to the palace to help you, but she quickly realised they were just interested in studying you rather than treating you so Nadia very quickly showed them the door and enlisted the help of the doctor she trusts the most; Julian.

The baths are a nice place for the both of you to relax and although the water can never make the pain go away it does ease off for a short time, enough for the two of you to enjoy each others company.

The days that the pain is so bad that you can’t get out of bed or even lift your head Nadia gets a sick feeling in her stomach and refuses to leave your side.

She will cancel any plans in a heartbeat and just stay by you stroking your forehead with her softest smile, to keep both of your minds off the pain Nadia will tell you about all the embarrassing things she’s seen nobles do at parties and how her sisters used to steal cookies from the kitchen and bring them to share with her and the others.

If you can get to sleep Nadia will lie in bed next to you and just watch your peaceful face, how she wishes you could look this way all the time so at peace and free from the pain of reality.

She’ll kiss each of your cheeks and then rest her forehead against yours, falling into her own dreams of giving you whatever you need to be happy.

She doesn’t know it but all you really need is her.

Julian

Julian worries after you a lot, he’s like an overbearing helicopter parent with an anxious disorder. Which granted, can be very annoying, but you have to know it’s because he loves you a lot and would feel like a failure if something were to happen.

Of course there are moments you have to jokingly tell him to stand down and chill out a bit, but don’t dismiss his need to help (sending him off to do an errand you had been planning to do is your best bet to making him feel useful, that or a few loving words and a kiss on the cheek).

With his skills as a doctor Julian can be both an enormous help and a pain in the a** due to his connection with you.

Its such a strange thing he’s so confident with treating people who are strangers but the minute one of his loved ones is hurting he’s second guessing himself especially with you.

He learned a lot but scoliosis was not a subject he knew well so as soon as he learned of your condition Julian was writing to Nazali for some info and reading books and papers well into the night.

He became a expert overnight, and the panda eyes showed. He then proceed to tailor a schedule for you, which was when you had to slow him down for both of your sanity’s.

Still Julian often likes to invite you to go swimming near the port and is still hopelessly tragic when it comes to worrying after you, but showing him you’re just fine will put his mind to rest.

Over time Julian realises that you probably don’t need him nearly as much as he thinks you might and he is being too clingy with you, so he may hover but becomes more relaxed about you doing your own thing.

When you go through a rough patch mentally and emotionally Julian is so good at reassuring you (even though he’s terrible at doing it for himself), he’ll ask if he can do anything to help and will do what he must to make sure you’re feeling even a little better.

On a bad day where pain is keeping you in bed Julian is laying next to you like a loyal puppy, resting his head on your chest or shoulder and giving you gentle kisses as he holds your hand in his.

Julian will have a few medicinal remedies, but they’re not nearly strong enough to rid you of all the pain. So to take your mind off it he’ll tell you stories and he’ll treat you to your favourite snacks and maybe a drink or two at the Raven when you’re up for it.

Up until those moments Julian won’t be too sure if you really need him that much, be sure to tell him that you’ll always need him.

Muriel

Muriel is pretty mellow around the whole scoliosis thing, he lets you get on with your own thing (mostly because that’s how he is) but he knows when you need his help. The words never even have to leave your mouth because when you need him he’s just there no questions asked.

It may not usually seem like it but Muriel is constantly observing you and when he sees a particular expression that gives him reason to believe you need him he’ll be there. He doesn’t want to coddling you because he likes his independence and he just thinks that you might like having your own as much as he does.

Muriel’s not always entirely sure on how or what he can do to help you, truth be told he doesn’t feel capable of caring for you. He doesn’t know too much about scoliosis (or doesn’t have any idea at all).

He thinks if he tries to help you he may just make matters worse, he’s so big and strong that he fears that even if he puts a finger on your skin you’ll crumble.

Fortunately there is no shortage of pain relieving plants in the forest around Muriel’s hut, when he’s not hanging around with his chickens Muriel is picking these herbs and mashing them up (either to eat or to slather over your back, he feels too awkward to tell sometimes).

Of course you may encounter a problem with those crushed herbs, specifically in applying them. Muriel’s cheeks turned the brightest red when you came over to him topless asking him to put it on your back for you. His fingers shook slightly (mostly in embarrassment) but he was glad you asked him.

The two of you definitely gain some looks when you go into Vesuvia, with Muriel being so big and you having that curve in your spine there is no end to the whispers about you two.

It’s actually a relief not being the only odd one in a pair, and seeing Muriel ignore people and not care about what they have to say helps you do the same (even though you don’t see the death stares he gives people when they’re saying stuff about you).

The walks the two of you take through the forest are some of the most relaxing and best way’s for you to work on building muscle up and working on your core strength, Muriel often makes it interesting by taking you to some very unique places so its usually worth the walk.

Muriel dreads the bad days you have, when the pain is unbearable your you. Even his usual stoic neutral expression crumbles in worry, and he’s as miserable as you feel hastily dashing out to get extra herbs and quickly feeding the chickens all the feed so he doesn’t need to worry about them later.

Muriel is putting slaves on your back every hour and putting heated water in a water-skin to keep your muscles from causing you more pain, he spends so much time going about the hut he doesn’t sit or eat for hours.

You have to make a grab for his hand and pull him into bed to sit with you and once he relaxes slightly Muriel is scooping you up with the greatest care and cradles you in his lap heaving a sigh and resting his head on top of yours.

He may think he could break you if he’s not careful, but he is probably the gentlest man in the world to you.

Portia

Portia is so... normal about the whole thing. She rarely treats you any different other than the occasional determined dashing around she does when you’re not feeling so hot, insisting that you need to kick back and relax while she handles your chores, errands and other things she can handle for you.

She’s cheery and bright as always, but always takes the time to talk to you if you’re feeling down or help ease your pain if you’re not having a good day. She’s a secret worrier though, and may need to talk through her own thoughts and feelings with you when it gets too much.

Portia would be very interested in learning about scoliosis however before referring to books she’s quite interested in learning what it is like for you personally (what’s difficult for you to do, what she can do to make it easier around the cottage, where is your pain the worst or what to do when you’re having a tough time?).

She gives 110% towards making you feel like a normal human being and helping you enjoy the things you love even if they are hindered by your condition, she’s like a bright ball of light guiding your way despite the hardships life throws at you.

The way she asks Julian for some pain relief or what plants she should grow to make some is like a shady business deal (for some reason or another), you’re pretty sure its because she thinks its illegal for Julian to just give her medicine (even though its not).

So yeah, Portia is pretty casual and even forgets you have scoliosis but best be prepared to watch her throw hands with anyone who’s mean or rude about how you may look strange.

It’s happened and at this point its just some nice entertainment watching your girlfriend beat every single persons a** to defend your honour, though that girl fights dirty...

Among other things gardening is one of Portia’s favourite activities and she soon roped you into helping her to keep you active, of course being in the palace grounds she’s always leading you into the maze determined to find the middle this time!

She’s the best out of all when if comes to making you feel better, doing tons of funny stuff (like showing you Pepi’s latest dance moves, or seeing how many of her knitting needles she can keep in her hair). She believes laughter is one of the best medicines, but often she makes you laugh so hard it hurts.

On bad days Portia will pull you close and snuggle in close to your neck and give you little smooches everywhere over your face, she’ll sing some little songs and get you to sleep because that’s the best way to pass the time when you’re in pain.

Despite all the hardships in life Portia does her best to make the world better for you whatever way she can.

[doof-doofblog]

"Ian Is The Reason Dennis Is Dead!"

Monday 7th September 2020

Good evening everyone and what an exciting night it is!!! EastEnders is back on our screens tonight!  It's been a good few months since the soap has been on our screens. Tonight it's finally back, even though the time has been reduced from 30 minutes to 20 minutes, it doesn't matter! Our favourite characters will be back and the story-lines will be able to continue, so many answers will be given and so many secrets revealed!

But before we delve into the excitement of tonight's episode, i'm sure the majority of you have been made aware of the news regarding the beautiful Chantelle Atkins. For those of you who might've missed it somehow, EastEnders have announced that poor Chantelle will pass away due to domestic violence at the hands of her husband, Gray.

Since Chantelle and Gray appeared on the Square, they portrayed the perfect family! Two successful people working brilliant jobs, with two beautiful children and on the outside, it looked as if they lived a very happy life! But little do the Walford residents know that behind closed doors, poor Chantelle has been the target of domestic abuse from her husband. Taking beatings and beatings and suffering in silence. None of her close friends or family are aware of what is happening in their family home when no one else is around. Gray appears to have nasty temper on him, and he takes it out on his wife. EastEnders have announced the passing of Chantelle before the soap reappears on our screens due to the fact that the next few episodes will be quite harrowing, as viewers will see Chantelle attempt to escape and leave her husband. Jessica Plummer's last appearance as Chantelle will be on the 18th September. I believe both Jessica Plummer and Toby-Alexander Smith's performance as Chantelle and Gray have been phenomenal! It's a very sensitive issue to portray, but in all seriousness ... this does happen to people every single day, and unfortunately - due to the lock-down, some people are suffering in silence, being victims of domestic abuse and being attacked at their home day after day. I, for one will be devastated to see Chantelle be killed off, but I do feel it's a very important issue and it's fantastic of EastEnders to be raising awareness of such vicious acts of cruelty. What the big questions I want to ask now are, what will happen in the aftermath? Will Gray be found out? How will the Taylor family react to the passing of Chantelle? Will Gray go to deep lengths to hide the truth from his family and neighbours? I'm sure many fans were always hoping that Chantelle would find a way to speak up and ask for help or eventually escape Gray, but sadly in Chantelle's case, it will never be that way. I applaud the cast and story writers who took part in this story-line, it's a big subject and it's needs to be spoken about openly, more and more, and if anyone who views this story-line, who is currently in Chantelle's situation, hopefully they'll get the courage to speak out and/or seek help to escape. --- Now, shall we focus on tonight's episode? I don't know about you lot but I've been really looking forward to the day EastEnders came back on air! And it certainly came back with a bang!! Ahhh it felt so good to hear that theme tune again!! Brilliant!!

Awww and what a brilliant opening, Ian looking all smug and proud, putting the Queen Vic bust back on the counter. Quick question ... where the hell did he get that from?! I'm assuming it's something that could've been replaced, but me - being naive, honestly thought that the old Queen Vic bust which sank during the anniversary episodes, was one of a kind! Clearly - obviously not! Oh gosh ... look at all those photos of Ian and Sharon being landlords of the Vic! Makes a nice realistic touch, don't you guys think? Clearly, Ian has been making himself at home at the Vic during lock-down! Oooh it does look as if Ian and Dotty still have daggers for each other, Dotty's case has come up after Ian grassed her up to the police about selling some form of drugs at the club and they both appear to be going to court together. Dotty is NOT going to keep quiet for long, she will soon tell Sharon all about the secrets Ian has been hiding form her regarding her son, Dennis. Dotty must've been finding it so hard to watch Ian and Sharon together in the Vic, the secret must be eating her up to the core! 

Is it just me, or is Chantelle looking very fragile? She's very shaky, nervous ... it looks as if while she's been in lock-down, she's had nothing but abuse from Gray. It looks as if she's looking to divorce her husband and get away as soon as she can! Watching this, knowing what is going to happen in a couple of episodes time, I'm already feeling worried and scared for her. She's made things perfectly clear that she wants to the divorce to be quick and easy. Gray will still be able to see his children and they'll be living near by. This is something that does worry me, will Gray find out about her wanting a divorce and lash out? She's been told that a divorce could be incredibly expensive. Is she going to be able to afford what she needs to be able to go ahead? I know I am asking all sorts of questions, but with this being the first episode back, there are so many things that could happen with each and every story! Plus it feels like it's been so long since we've seen these characters, it feels so good to have them back again! Will Chantelle be able to open up to Kheerat before it's too late! Suki has already informed him that Gray was the one who put him up to Trading Standards, could there be some kind of conversation to come between Chantelle and Kheerat where he'll confront her about Gray's behaviour, and could she finally be able to tell him how Gray actually treats her?! You can see the fear in Chantelle's eyes as she enters her house and Gray comes to approach her from the stairs, already questioning her where she has been. When he reached into her bag I was worried he was going to pull out some form of paperwork regarding a divorce, but instead he's putting a tracker on her phone, to keep an eye on her. Chantelle clearly isn't happy about this, but sadly, there's nothing she can say. Gray is controlling and is wanting to keep an eye on her every move, he's frustrated as he has been put on furlough from his job, so he has also been stuck in the house while his children have gone back to school and Chantelle working also. How is Chantelle going to be able to escape Gray now he's put a tracker on her phone? Gosh, I just want to hold her and tell her she can escape from this! She later approaches Kheerat, telling him he's the only one she can trust and asks him for the money for her divorce, even though she can't tell him what it's for. But of course she feels guilty for asking after finding out her husband was the one who called up Trading Standards on Kheerat's company. I really do think Chantelle will tell him something, if not everything, but something before she sadly passes away. Kheerat will do everything he can to get justice for Chantelle! 

Oh Ballum!!!! Gosh I almost forgot about Ballum!!! Ha! Ben's hair has surely grown ... of course so had millions of other men's hair during lock-down! I love how happy they both appear to be able to see each other. Oh, is Ben going to ask Callum to move in?! IS THAT GOING TO BE A THING?! Haha is anyone feeling really proud of Callum? Is he now an official police officer? When he stopped that thief and stated "I'm a police officer! You're nicked!" I just felt a little sense of pride! God bless his little soul! Oh and look at him in his police gear!!! He looks SO good!!!!! I can't get over how manly he's become, I know that's a bit pathetic to say ... but we've seen him become a real man, come to terms with his sexuality and now he's followed his dreams and become a Police Officer, with the support of his boyfriend. Callum is eager to get his job done so he can go to the hospital with Ben, needless to say his colleagues aren't aware that he's gay, but in all honesty ... it's none of their business really. But I do have a feeling that eventually it will come to their attention, and as soon as they realise who Callum's partner is, his job could be at risk, even before it's started! Ooooh noooo, Callum is going to figure out what Ben did, while he is sat looking through the CCTV footage that he's been given, Ben slowly appears onto the screen. This would've been when he and Phil went after Danny and his money during this job that was meant to happen. How is Callum going to approach this with Ben? Am I right in thinking that Ben lied to him and told him he had nothing to do with it, but of course, the CCTV tells otherwise. 

Ahhh okay, so Linda has revealed that Sharon has renamed her son "Albie" ... Honestly, I think I preferred Kayden, but each to their own! Awww both Mick and Linda are adjusting to their life out of the Queen Vic. It looks as if Mick has some kind of interview or something the way he has dressed smartly with his waistcoat. Linda has been working in the cafe as a cleaner from the looks of it, while Mick has been home-schooling Ollie. It's going to be so weird not seeing them behind the Queen Vic bar, but I'm sure we'll get used to them being out in the community in a much different way. 

Sharon seems really happy where she is, she is back in her home to be honest! She grew up in the pub, it's only right that she brings up her child where she spent her childhood. It's only when she sees the Queen Vic pub, she stops in her tracks and goes silent. Has Ian made the right decision in ordering a second Queen Vic bust? Or is it something that is going to haunt Sharon, knowing it sank where her son lost his life? It's questionable. 

Oh I am so happy to see Kat back!!! Is it going to be revealed why she left? We know Jessie Wallace was suspended, but what was the reason for Kat to depart the Square? Is this going to made known? Oh and soon as she spots Ruby and Martin together, she's doing what Kat does best and sticking up for her family! Are Ruby and Martin now an item? Have they decided to become official while during lockdown together? It's been revealed that Martin has had the time of his life living with Ruby, but also she has kept secret from him that she has been having money problems due to the club being closed. When Stacey returns, she is going to be such a shock when she learns about Ruby and Martin, I already am kind of feeling sorry for her. 

When Ian and Dotty are back from the court, Ian is just slightly poking at Dotty more and more, saying that she should thank him for changing his statement, or even buy him a drink. You can see it's slowly eating her upside, how much she's desperate for him to have his comeuppance. She's made it clear now that she's not going to prison, what is to stop her from telling Sharon the truth now? What other threats could he throw at her? It's only when Sharon approaches in dismay asking whether any of Dennis's things had been returned from the police that Ian goes all scares. Ahh so, the Queen Vic bust is actually the original, from what I understand, it was recovered from the accident and sent back to the Vic where it belongs! (And there's me thinking it was a brand new one!) Later when Dotty is sat on Albert's bench, Bobby approaches her saying that she must be thankful for his Dad to help her out of the situation. But she makes a slight dig at Ian, saying that her father, Nick Cotton, was more like Mother Theresa compared to him! Which, Bobby can't seem to understand, he can't understand why Dotty enjoys slagging him off, but she makes a fair point that Nick never coward behind someone else and he always accepted who he was and took everyone else how they were. It's then she claims that she just like her father and is proud for what she stands for and believes in. She makes her way into the Vic just as Ian and Sharon are clearing the air about things being returned to the Vic, this is when the climax comes, what viewers have been waiting for for months! Ian getting his comeuppance and Sharon finding out the truth about how her boy died. Dotty goes on to say that people deserve to know the truth about how their loved ones die, Ian trying to worm his way out of the conversation, maybe trying to change the conversation and say it's not right to upset Sharon ... then she comes out with it, "He's the reason Dennis died! He locked him in the cabin on the boat and that's why he drowned!" 

Ian's eyes look frantic from Dotty to Sharon, Sharon face in absolute disbelief that he dearest friend could've done something so cruel to her and not said anything, kept the absolute worst secret from her. Dotty's words ringing in her ears. Is Ian going to worm his way out of it and claim Dotty doesn't know what she's talking about? Or is Sharon going to demand answers from Ian! What an absolute brilliant ending to first episode back on air! It's true tomorrow's episode is going to be just as gripping! What was your opinion on tonight's episode? I personally thought it was brilliant! So many things happening and I can't wait to see them all unravel. I am so glad to be back posting as well, I know it's been a long time and I know I've only done one post a week - if that - but I hope you'll all enjoy my blog now EastEnders is back and better than ever! I'll be back either tomorrow or Wednesday following up tomorrow's episode. Goodnight everyone and enjoy the rest of your night xXx

[clairecrive]

"Grounded" - Alfie Solomons x oc imagine [Requested]

Hi guys! I'm so sorry I'm posting so late but I've been busy with friends these days and couldn't finish this up sooner. Anyway, here it is! This imagine was actually kindly requested by a girl on Wattpad.

I hope you like it, let me know what you think about it! I'm sorry if there are any typos, feel free to point them out to me. Oh and I know this is very long but I'm on my phone and couldn't put a "keep reading" tag, sorry again.

I have a few ideas for next imagines but let me know if you want to see anything specific.

Requests are always open and feedback is always welcome too!

Tag list: @mollybegger-blog (let me know if you wanna be added)

 Whoever said that women that didn't have a job and only took care of the household and their family needs had it easy clearly wasn't a woman. God knows how many things one had to and what little time to do them. Well, Anna knew, being a parent of a fifteen years old girl going through adolescence didn't make tending to her and her father any easy.

Deciding not to pursue her dream job was something Anna had come to terms with a long time ago, after the birth of her beloved Samantha precisely. She knew that no one could tend to her little girl in the way she could. Alfie had always been supportive of her ever decision but afraid of the repercussions that her choice could have had not only on herself but also on their family, he tried to persuade her to consider the idea of hiring a nanny. Or to even allow their family to help whenever both of them were busy with work. At first, he had succeeded, Anna had gone back to work after the maternity leave ended and for a while, it worked. However, the peace was short-lived seeing as her late shifts prevented her to spend time with her newborn since whenever she came home it was so late that her baby was already sleeping.

So she took the conscious decision to leave her job to start caring for her little Samantha 24/7. It wasn't something that she came to regret, she was happy that she had the privilege to see her daughter grow into the smart, brilliant young woman that she is. She just wished that people like her got the recognition they deserved. Being a full-time mother was bloody hard and sometimes it even felt like she was a single mum, with how Alfie was busy with his business and was rarely home. Anna knew that Samantha was suffering for her father absence. When she was little she used to run to the door screaming in joy whenever Alfie got home. As time went by and Alfie became more and more busy, they would see him less and less and every night it would end up with little Sam looking at the door desperate to catch her father's silhouette. Pointless were your attempts to speak with Alfie to try and get him to focus more on his family. Anna could see the regret in her husband's eyes whenever he was reminded how much his absence was affecting his little girl. He tried his best to be more present and indeed he was. During the weekend he would have his phone turned off, solely focused on having as much quality time as he could with his little princess. Turns out it wasn't enough. He would still come home late during the weekdays and there was nothing they could do about it. Anna knew that if they were able to have a comfortable life it was for his hard work, and she also could see how Alfie was suffering as well because of this situation. Whenever he would come home late at night, the first thing he asked her about was how Samantha was doing.

Now Sam was fifteen and had stopped hoping that her father would be home for dinner in a while. She had started to express her distress in other ways: she would not greet him when she saw him and she would spend all of her time with her friends even on weekends when Alfie was home. Some days she would come back home from school smelling of smoke; when confronted she swore that it was because of her friends that smoked beside her but that she had never even tried. Anna had always trusted her little one's ability to discern good from bad but now, being in this rebellious state she was in, she was afraid that she would do something reckless just for the fun of it; or rather to catch her father's attention. 

As a result of Samantha's inner conflict, Anna was perpetually worried about her little girl. She was at her wit's end about how to help her. This day wasn't different from the others in this regard and while she was shopping to prepare today's meals, two of Samantha's favourites to try and cheer her up, what she was really thinking was that maybe she could try and see if Alfie could come home earlier. She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't notice Samantha's teacher, Ms Alice, standing next to her.

"Mrs Solomons?" the voice brought her back to earth.

"Oh, Ms Alice, good morning! I'm sorry, I didn't see you there. How do you do?" Anna politely tried to make small talk.

"I'm well, thanks for asking. I hope Samantha is too, she's been absent for a week now and her classmates told me that she had a very bad case of flu. How is she doing?" Ms Alice seemed really concerned about her daughter's well being and for a second she was grateful that they had been lucky enough to have her as a teacher. That was until her words finally set in and she could control her face as it contorts in an expression of confusion but also of disappointment when she came to the conclusion that Samantha had been skipping school to do god knows what.

"Oh you know, this kind of virus is really annoying. It affected her stomach too other than giving her flu-like symptoms. As a matter of fact, I left her alone because we ran out of food after a week of closure, so I should really go. I've left her alone longer than I should've." Anna promptly found an excuse to leave. The vegetables quickly forgotten, she hurried out of the supermarket while looking frenetically for her phone in her purse.

"I know that you're not in school. Come home, right now."

The message was brief and Anna spent the whole ride home trying to find the best way to deal with the situation. This was the most difficult part about being a parent, in Anna's opinion. When your child was misbehaving it was easier to just let the anger took control and put them in a time out or in some form of punishment. Of course, punishments were necessary to make them understand what they did was wrong but Anna also believed that a parent should understand first why their child acted the way they did so to better make them see why what they did was wrong, it should also help them avoid making the same mistake in the future too. Luckily for her, Samantha had always been a quiet good girl, never put herself in much trouble. When she inevitably did though, her approach had always worked. 

However, now the situation was more complex and delicate at the same time. She knew that Samantha was acting out so she had to find a way to make her see how this was an unhealthy way to deal with a problem but she also was aware that the reason why she was acting this way was out of her reach and couldn't be easily fixed. Anna also decided that it was time for Alfie and their daughter to have a long chat and finally address the elephant in the room. For now, she would deal with this by herself though, she'll wait for Alfie to come home. 

"Please try to be home early today, we need to talk about something." She knew that Alfie was busy with work and while she'd always respected that, there were times when family demanded his presence. She hoped that since she had never complained nor asked him such a thing before, he would understand the importance of him coming home in time for dinner. 

Apparently, it took her more time than she had thought to go back home or maybe Samantha had understood that she was in deep waters and had hurried home, point was that when Anna crossed the threshold of the house the young girl was already sitting at the kitchen table.

The woman took off her coat and came to stand in front of her daughter without haste. Crossing her arms on her chest, prompted the girl with a tilt of her head to explain herself.

"Honestly mum, it's not as bad as it seems. School can be so boring, and me and the girls just needed a little time off." Samantha lamely explained making her mother's eyebrow jump up in disbelief.

"Time off to do what?" her mother inquired further.

"Nothing much, just hanging around, having fun."

"Do you understand the gravity of what you did, Samantha?" Anna solemnly asked.

"We did nothing bad, besides I didn't think you would notice." Came the girl's smug reply.

"It's not a habit of mine to check your attendance record because I thought that you knew that you have to go to school. I trusted you not to lie to me and come to me whenever something is wrong." Anna showed every bit of the disappointment she was feeling, not to mention the pain that her little girl lying to her made her feel. 

"You know what's wrong and talking about it doesn't make it better, so what's the point?" Samantha muttered quietly and Anna's heart clenched at the hurt on her daughter's face. Sighing she sat beside her, her whole demeanour changed knowing how touchy this subject was for her daughter.

"Oh and needless to say you're grounded. Let's start with a week then we'll see." A punishment was in order but both father and daughter knew that he was smitten with her and that the time period wouldn't get longer. Making a sound of discontent, Sam briefly kissed her father's cheek before leaving the room to apologize to her mother.

"I know that you miss your father, so do I but you can't pull a stunt like that for this reason. Call him during lunch break, make an effort to be home during the weekends. Don't think for a second that he doesn't love you or miss you as well. He's trying his best to be more present but there's only so much he can do when he needs to work to support the family." Anna softly said hoping to get her to understand. Despite her efforts, the reaction she got is not the one she was hoping for. Scoffing, Samantha jumps from her seat, "I'm sick and tired to hear the same story every time. Your father loves you - Well let me tell you, mum, it's all bullshit. If he loved me, he would be here telling me himself, he wouldn't have missed my piano concerts or dinner and lunch every single bloody day!" Every little thing she had been keeping bottled up until now was finally coming out in hot scorching waves.

"How do you know that he's at work? Isn't it suspicious that he always has to work? What if he has a second family that we know nothing about while we're here waiting on him like two morons?" Anna couldn't help but flinch at the insinuation.

"This is ridiculous Samantha. Your father loves us both. His love is the only thing keeping him here with us so even if what you're saying it's true, there would be no reason for him to lead a double life. I'm sorry that you feel this way, but you should know that even if you don't know if he's always thinking and worrying about you. Do you want to know how I know? Because as soon as he comes through the door, you're the first thing he asks me about." The situation was getting tenser and tenser and despite her best intentions Anna couldn't help but raise her voice a little. God knows how many times, lying alone in her bed, these thoughts had uncomfortably occupied her mind. How could she know if her husband really was where he told her he'd be? She could only trust him and hope for him to always do right by her and their family as he'd promised her on their special day years ago.

"What is going on here?" Before Samantha could reply a voice came from the door catching both girls' attention. Speaking of the devil, Alfie had gotten home early as his wife had asked him. While Anna hadn't expected him to come this early, his presence was welcomed and reassuring.

"Oh, how conveniently you show up now. How come you're not at work and you're gracing us with your presence instead?" Samantha ruthlessly spat at her clueless father.

"Samantha, don't speak to your father like that." Anna reprimanded her.

"You know mum you should really stop fighting his battles for him. Whatever, I'm going to my room." The girl harshly dismissed her mother leaving her to feel powerless and drained while Alfie was still trying to wrap his head around what was happening.

Anna limply let herself fall on the chair she was previously sitting on, her head in her hands while Alfie took a seat next to her, gently caressing her back trying to comfort her.

"What's the matter love, what has she done?" he softly inquired, a part of him actually relieved it was for their daughter rebellious phase rather than the woman wanting to end things. Only God knew how much he loved and cherished the woman beside him, without her his life would fell into pieces and he was very well aware of that and even more grateful that God had graced him by putting her in his life.

"I'm at my wit's end with her Alfie. I don't know what to do anymore. Today while I was grocery shopping, I met Ms Alice who asked me about Samantha's health because apparently she has been sick this past week." Anna started to explain what happened to her husband.

"She's been skipping school? Why?" The fact caught him by surprise.

"She said that it was because she needed time off from the apparently so boring school but Alfie that's not the point. She lied to me and I think she did it to try and catch your attention, " she let him on her thoughts and knowing that she was probably right he guiltily sighed, "She's acting out because she misses you and thinks that you don't love her. She actually told me that the reason you were not home was that you had another family and that I was blind not to see that you didn't love us anymore." A dry chuckle left her mouth. She was doing more than just reporting her daughters' words, even though she forced herself to think they weren't true and Alfie saw right through her as he always did.

"Annie, I know that I haven't been the best husband or father lately and I know that I sound like a damn broken record, I know right? But you and Samantha are my whole world. When I received your text today, my heart fucking stopped. I thought you were finally fed up with my old ass and wanted a divorce. Since I've met you right? I've felt things that I never felt before, you took away my heart from its numbness and I'm forever grateful that somehow your precious sweet little self loves a fucking mess like me. I'm an absolute fucker too because I hurt the only priceless people in my life and I can never say sorry enough. But no more. Mark my words, I'll make this right. Starting today. I fucking love you and it's time my daughter knows it too. I'm going to talk to her." Alfie heartfelt little speech had left Anna in tears. Her husband was never one of many words but when he did speak them, well no one could compare. Giving her a firm sweet kiss he took his leave heading towards Samantha's room, giving Anna some time to compose herself.

Knocking lightly on her closed door, Alfie didn't wait for her permission to enter, he knew she was pissed at him and couldn't blame her. If he was in her position he would hate his guts too. Samantha was on her bed, her head bopping her head to the music coming from the headphones in her ears. Her eyes set on her father's face when she saw the door open but she didn't acknowledge him returning to her music. Alfie knew it was her way to say "piss off" but he was just as stubborn as she was, she had to take it up from someone after all. Not easily deterred, the man sat alongside his daughter, softly taking one of the headphones from her.

"This song is a bop, right? But I think it's time we have a little chat, what do you think?" he took the lead.

"I have nothing to say to you." - was the expected harsh reply.

"Well, I have. I don't blame you for hating me, I've been terrible to you and your mother, I know and I don't know how to convey how sorry I am with words, I'm not smart like that. There something you should know about me tho'. I love you and I love your mother and I love our family even if maybe I don't show it as much as I should. Everything I do is for you. And a second family? Really? I can barely look after you how could I be doing it with another one?"

"I don't hate you." she quietly confessed.

"Well, you should."

"Listen dad, I'm sorry for what I said. I see how you look at mum the rare times you're here. I just wish you'd be around more," - and here was his sweet little girl.

"I know sweetie, I would love to spend more time with you and I promise that I'm going to try harder alright? But please stop punishing your mother for something I did, she's already a bloody saint wouldn't try her tho'. God knows how long she'll put up with us." Joking to loosen the tension in the room, Alfie wrapped his arm around Sam's shoulders closing her in a much needed bear-like hug.

"You mean with you." she joked and despite being at his expense, Alfie was happy to engage in their usual witty banter.

"I promise I'll be good dad. I'm sorry, I didn't want you to worry you."Sam apologized in a sweet voice but Alfie knew her like the back of her hand and was very aware that she was trying to buy him.

"That's good to know kid. You should say sorry to your mother though." If he had, to be honest, he wasn't that angry with her. He was obviously the one at fault and never been a well-behaved student in his youth so he really wasn't one to talk. With this said, he also was aware that the rebellious behaviour of his daughter caused by him really took a toll on his dear wife. Besides, lying wasn't really something Alfie could stand.

[pixieminutes]

Him | CB

genre: angst, fluff, swimmer!chris

members: bang chan x reader / lee felix

warnings: death in water (light description), fear of water, recurring nightmares, anxiety, swearing

a/n: scary amount of time skips in this one lmaoo hope you can still follow also y/b/n means ‘your brother’s name’

“come on! everyone’s already in!”

“i told you, i’m not going in,” you chuckled, “just go, i’ll stay here.”

your best friend rolled her eyes, but as she looked back to the rest of your friends already in the sea, shouting at the two of you to come and join, she left, screeching as the cold water met her legs.

you sighed as you watched them, but smiled and laughed whenever something would happen. it happened everytime like this, you’d be invited to the beach, you’d go to the beach (so not to miss out), you’d watch everyone get in the sea and you’d sit on the shore. missing out. everyone must’ve thought you were allergic to water or something, and though you weren’t; it kind of felt like you were.

********

“don’t worry! i know what i’m doing!” he exclaimed.

you sighed, “bro that’s a high board, i’m not sure it’s such—“

“y/n, chill out!” he laughed, “now, you sure you don’t want to join me?”

you sighed, looking at the board and shaking your head, “i’m gonna go get dry. meet you in the cafe?”

he nodded, “like always. make sure to watch me from the window!”

you chuckled, already heading back to the changing rooms, without turning around, “wouldn’t miss it!”

but that was it. you didn’t watch his dive, and by the time you got to the café, children were crowding around the window. some mothers were rushing their children away from the sight, others were watching with them; desperate to know what had happened.

you remember that you sighed as you walked over apprehensively, unsure if you even wanted to know what everyone was fussing over. you ended up deciding against it as you walked back and ordered the usual: an iced tea for you, an iced americano for your brother.

“y/n y/l/n?” the lifeguard called, “y/n?”

you furrowed your eyebrows, looking curiously towards him as you stood up.

“that’s me,” you said, still confused.

“you’re a relative of y/b/n y/l/n, right?” he asked.

“y-yes,” you said, becoming concerned.

“the ambulance will be arriving soon, but we’re not sure they’re going to be able to do much.”

“the ambulance? wha-what happened?!” you exclaimed, rushing in front of the guard as he tried to walk away.

“your brother was too tall for the depth of the pool, we think he may have broken his neck,” the lifeguard explained calmly, “an ambulance has been called as i said, do you have your parent’s numbers?”

needless to say; you didn’t get back in the water after that.

********

the first time you saw chris bang, you could smell the lingering scent of chlorine as he walked past your chair and made you want to be sick.

you looked to the empty chair on your left side. chris bang could’ve sat there, and everyone knows it would’ve been better, but you were sure your teacher wasn’t going to put anyone there for the rest of this year.

maybe he believed your twin brother’s spirit remained there. or maybe he thought that you believed that.

either way, you didn’t want chris bang sat there with his smell of chlorine. just the thought of swimming made you want to cry.

the second time you met chris bang, it was just the two of you and the lingering smell of chlorine was even stronger.

“hey, is this seat taken?”

you looked up to see dimples and bleach blonde hair, matched with a pale face. you sighed.

“no, you can sit.”

he smiled, thanking you as he sat down and stuck his straw into his chocolate milk, drinking it slowly.

“i’m chris.”

“i know. history class.”

“oh, sorry. i don’t think i saw you.”

you nodded, “it’s fine.”

chris nodded too, an awkward smile adorning his face as he started eating his peach in silence. you felt bad for the boy, but at the same time, he made you feel sick.

“what’s your name?” he asked, taking another sip of chocolate milk as you looked up from your phone to finally take a good look at chris bang.

his hair was curly and bleach blonde, though it looked as though he’d tried to straighten it, it made you wonder why.

his skin was scarily pale, and had a few scars, it made you wonder what they were from.

his eyes were brown and when he smiled, they turned into crescents, you just had to wonder how and why they were so sparkly.

“my name’s y/n,” you said, taking one of chris’s pieces of popcorn, “y/n y/l/n.”

from that moment on, chris bang never really left your mind and you couldn’t help but wonder if you ever left his.

********

“oh shit, look outside,” chris swore, sighing as he looked out the window.

you turned around, screwing up your nose as you looked outside, “ew. well, i guess that’s a sign that we need one more round.”

“y/n, you’re setting yourself up for a game you cannot win,” chris said cockily.

you raised your eyebrow, moving across the sofa until your faces were next to each other, “you’re on.”

“okay then. rainbow road, let’s go,” chris said and suddenly, the sound of the mario kart countdown brought you back to reality.

“no fair! i wasn’t ready!”

but the thunderstorm outside wasn’t a sign of ‘one more round’. neither was it a sign of ‘go home y/n’. it was saying one thing and one thing only: ‘sleepover’.

“chris, i don’t have any clothes to sleep in!” you called from the bathroom as you wiped the remainder of make up from your face.

“lucky for you, my house has many clothes in it,” chris said, appearing in the doorway of the bathroom and chucking in a pair of his boxers (clean - you hoped) and a black sweatshirt.

and as you pulled it over your head, for once since the accident, the smell of chlorine comforted you, and eventually it even lulled you to sleep.

though not for long, apparently, as just before 3am (2:49 to be precise), you were being shaken awake by chris who, now you were awake, held you in his arms, stroking your back gently as you sobbed into his neck.

“it’s okay, i’m here. shh, shh,” he soothed, “y/n it’s okay now, it was just a dream.”

“no it wasn’t!” you sobbed, “it was real chris h-he was hurting and i wasn’t there for him!”

“who? who was hurting? angel, you couldn’t hurt a fly,” chris hummed.

“y/b/n! he was in pain! he was screaming! and i– i couldn’t do a thing!” you sobbed, basically screaming at this point as the tears continued to fall.

you hadn’t even remembered your nightmares when you were with chris, it wasn’t a concern that crossed your mind.

you barely even remembered your brother, though it was a terrible thing to say. maybe that’s why you never told him.

but your mind was just too busy being full of chris bang and his terrible jokes and his pale skin and his veiny body and his curly hair and his gently eyes and his childlike smile and the overwhelming feeling of wanting to kiss his lips as you hold his face in your hands, breathing in the scent of chlorine and expensive aftershave that just smells like chris.

or in short, how much you liked chris bang.

********

“so, i was thinking,” chris started.

“always a bad idea.”

chris smiled, “ha ha. anyway, i was thinking that we should get out the house.”

you chuckled, nodding, “sure. where?”

“i was gonna take you to my favourite place ever!” chris exclaimed.

“your favourite place ever?” you repeated, as chan nodded, “seems pretty special.”

he smiled, nodding eagerly, “i’ll pick you up tonight. 6?”

“sounds good,” you said, “wait, what shall i wear?”

“anything,” he shrugged, “i’ll get what you need.”

“woah, gentleman,” you chuckled.

“as always,” chris smiled cheekily, “i’ll see you later, okay? felix is calling.”

you looked behind your friend and saw the freckled boy, standing very impatiently a few yards away.

“go, go, have fun,” you said, shooing chris away.

“i’m with felix, it’s impossible not to have fun,” chris said, already walking away as you laughed, watching him go, your heart rate quickening before realisation dawned.

you were just asked on a date by chris bang.

********

“y/n! y/n!”

you sobbed, watching as they took your brother into the ambulance. his voice was hoarse and he was covered in both pool water and blood.

“y/n i’m sorry!” he cried, before your mum got in the ambulance and they closed the doors behind them.

when you awoke, your breathing was heavy and you had a wet face to go with your wet pillow. you sighed as you realised what had happened, and you couldn’t help but wish chris bang was here to wrap his arms around you like he had the other night, calming you down and making you snacks before cuddling you back to sleep.

you wished you could smell chlorine mixed with expensive aftershave.

you wished you could be with him.

(and for once since the accident, ‘him’ wasn’t referring to your brother)

********

15 minutes after you got out the shower, you were only half ready as chris bang beeped the horn on his dark blue polo, letting you know he was outside.

“yes! shut up!” you shouted, tying your hair into a bun quickly as you ran out the small house, meeting chris outside.

“ah, finally,” he said, opening the passenger seat door, “m’lady.”

you rolled your eyes, chuckling as you got in the car, letting chris shut the door and run round the other side, letting himself in and driving off.

the car smelt of chlorine, though that shouldn’t have surprised you.

you observed that chris drove with one, veiny, hand on the steering wheel, one by his side. for some reason; this didn’t surprise you.

chris hummed along to old 60s songs on the radio. you smiled as the humming turned into quiet singing and by the time you got to chris’s favourite place in the world, you were both screaming the words. this didn’t surprise you.

“okay, we’re here!” chris smiled, turning off the engine and turning to the back seat, picking up two draw string bags, placing one onto your lap, “sorry if it’s not your size, but i think i’ve got it right.”

you opened the bag and you thought you could collapse as you saw the exact same swimming costume you’d worn on that day (along with a pink, fluffy towel and some snacks).

“chris i-i’m sorry i can’t—“

“do you not know how to swim?” chris asked gently, “it’s okay! my dad’s a swimming teacher and i- i never thought to tell you but actually i’m an olympic level swimmer.”

“olympic?” you breathed, feeling you heart rate quickening as you looked at the building that held the swimming pool, “th-that’s really good chris.”

the building was tall. you could almost imagine the diving boards.

“but i-i can swim, i just—“

you didn’t know how to continue. what? you can’t look at a swimming pool without imagining your brothers blood still there? you can’t look at a diving board without screaming with tears? you couldn’t stand the smell of chlorine until you met chris?

“i can’t do this,” you breathed, letting the world become hazy around you, letting the sound and feeling of your beating heart take over.

your felt your eyes become heavy, closing shut as your breathing quickened and you all you could hear was your heart, and chris’s muffled voice. it was as if you were drowning.

“y/n! y/n!” chris shouted as you slowly faded into unconsciousness, his hand on your arm.

“y/n! y/n!”

“y/n i’m sorry!” you could hear him becoming desperate.

“y/n i’m sorry!”

“y/b/n,” you breathed, sobbing gently as you faded in and out of consciousness “i’m sorry.”

for part 2: click here

[hyruledrift]

The Brilliance of Giorno Giovanna

Before I go ahead and write my review of JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure Part 5: Vento Aureo written and illustrated by Hirohiko Araki, I wanted to somehow put into writing why I think that it’s main protagonist, Giorno Giovanna, is truly a brilliant character. There is one more thing I’d like to prefix this character analysis with, and that is how I experienced Vento Aureo.

Vento Aureo was serialized in Weekly Shōnen Jump from November 20, 1995 to April 5, 1999. The anime first premiered in October of 2018 and ran through July 2019. So, I devoted the past couple weeks to both WATCH and read Vento Aureo. Reading the manga, and then watching the episodes that covered the volume(s) I previously read. So I really got to soak in the entire story. I also live tweeted my entire “Readwatch” but thats besides the point. I’m a bit late to the party in terms of covering the series but this is also my first time ever doing something like this, and I thought that there’d be no better place to start rather than breaking down one of my favourite characters across all mediums of fiction, Giorno Giovanna. Needless to say, this character analysis will divulge into spoilers of Vento Aureo.

Giorno Giovanna, born Haruno Shiobana, in Vento Aureo is age 15. He is half Japanese, Half Italian. Giorno as we know is the bastard son of DIO, the Joestar lineage’s sworn enemy across time. Giorno’s stand is Gold Experience, named after the Prince album The Gold Experience. Gold Experience is a close-range Stand, with a range of 2 meters from its user. Gold Experience has many different abilities. The first one being Life Giver. Life Giver gives Gold Experience the ability to endow anything its fists touch with life, which translates into a variety of different effects. It’s second ability is Life Shot. Gold Experience's ability can also be applied to living individuals, causing their thought processes to greatly accelerate. Life Shot basically makes Giorno’s opponent experience a psychedelic trip in the middle of combat. Gold Experience also has the ability to recreate Flesh and Organs. Inspired by Baby Face's ability to transform body parts into inert cubes, Giorno discovered that he could do the reverse and create singular body parts and organs out of inorganic matter. Thus he is able to heal gruesome wounds through various means. Gold Experience also has one more ability, Life Sensor. When he [Giorno/Gold Experience] touches someone or something, he can sense other lifeforms from within, allowing him to check if someone is alive or even determine how many souls there may be inside a given vessel. (Below is a picture of Giorno and Gold Experience)

But the interesting part about Giorno is not only is he the son of DIO, its also the fact that he is also considered a Joestar as he was conceived with Jonathan Joestar’s body, with DIO controlling it (after killing Jonathan Joestar, DIO took over his body to become the ultimate life form 100 years before Stardust Crusaders took place.) 

We don’t get to see the signature Joestar Star Birthmark on Giorno often, but we do get to catch a glimpse of it in the first episode of the anime and the second chapter of the manga during his fight with Leaky Eye Luca. Which cements him as being the 5th main Joestar in Araki’s story. 

Because of his lineage, we know he’s destined to be a special character from the get-go. Inheriting traits and skills from both DIO and Jonathan. Now, I could spend all day pointing out what Giorno has done in the series that he got from DIO, and things he’s done because of the Jonathan in him. But instead of that, I’d rather point out the more notable things he’s done that he’s taken from both his fathers.

We know that DIO was rotten to the core. He had a similar upbringing to Giorno in the sense that their parents neglected him. Dario (DIO’s father) constantly abused DIO calling him both physically and mentally. Whereas, Giorno’s mother neglected him and his step father abused Giorno to no end. Both DIO and Giorno are portrayed to be very smart in their groups. Giorno somehow always knew what animal or insect he’d have to give life to depending on the situation to help him overcome the conflict he was in. For example, in the fight against Man In The Mirror, Giorno also was faced with the issue of Fugo’s stand, Purple Haze and its ability, (A virus that quickly kills you if you inhale it or if your skin comes into contact with it. It also has no cure. Purple Haze is so powerful, that Araki had to write Fugo out of the story.) So to overcome this, Giorno used Gold Experience’s ability Life Giver to give life to an inanimate object (In this case, turning a brick into a Snake - Read left to right i took panels from different pages for the sake of my point)

Also, Both DIO and Giorno are natural leaders, wherever DIO went, be it in Phantom Blood or in Stardust Crusaders, he had followers do his bidding for him. Giorno inherited DIO’s natural ability to lead as later on in Vento Aureo, we all see the team members, inspeseficallfy Guido Mista, in his internal monologue after their battle with White Album, that he sees Giorno being more of a leader than Bruno Bucciarati, the actual leader of the gang at the time. Another attribute that Giorno inherited from DIO, is the need to make his opponent feel powerless. During Giorno’s beatdowns, he is known to shout “MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA” with Muda being a direct translation from Japanese to English meaning “Useless”, something that DIO was known for, in his fight with Jotaro in Stardust Crusaders. Giorno also uses the “WRYYYYYYY” battle cry a couple times in Vento Aureo. Also, Giorno’s hair used to be black, similar to the other Joestars before him, but when Gold Experience awoken in him, it caused his hair to change to the golden yellow colour we see him as throughout the series. One more thing to point out in Giorno that is reminiscent of DIO that separates him further from the rest of the Joestar lineage, is that Giorno ignited his own change. Giorno had a dream that he wanted to see through, whereas the other Joestars reacted to things happening to ones the hold dear to them that made them want to save others. Jonathan reacted to DIO killing his father, Joseph reacted to the Pillar Men awaking, Jotaro reacted to his mother falling ill because of DIO’s awakening, Josuke reacted to Angelo killing his grandfather, so on and so forth. It was Giorno who kicked the events off of Vento Aureo by himself, persuading Bucciarati to take down the Boss of Passione (Diavolo).  

The traits and attributes that Giorno inherited from Jonathan consists of Jonathan’s heart of gold that ultimately guided Giorno down the path he took to heroism, infiltrating Passione and taking down Diavolo. Jonathan’s selflessness also passed onto Giorno. Throughout Vento Aureo, Giorno was willing to sacrifice himself/his body for the benefit of the group despite. Cutting his nose off to spite his face. A great example of this is when Giorno and the gang was on their way to Sardinia. On the flight to Sardinia, they encountered the undead stand named after the world’s biggest rapper at the time, Notorious B.I.G. Giorno deduced how B.I.G was tracking them despite being dead, and it was motion. B.I.G reacted to any and all motion around it, causing the stand to automatically hunt down, attach itself, and attempt to kill whatever surface around it that was the fastest. So, while on the airplane, Giorno selflessly lured B.I.G onto the only arm he had left (Giorno had already lost an arm to B.I.G earlier in the fight and had not used Gold Experience to make himself a new arm) 

Giorno knew it was a gamble, he had cut both arms off to save the team. Naturally, this incapacitated Giorno for the rest of the fight. But before he could cut his arm off, he turned one of his ladybug brooches into a his own hand, which carried the power of Gold Experience. Thanks to this, after the fight was over, he was able to accomplish two things. First, He helped Trish mature as B.I.G came back and Trish ultimately defeated the stand by awakening to her stand, Spice Girl. The other thing that Giorno was able to accomplish was that he was still able to heal himself and the team using the brooch that Trish worked to protect from B.I.G.

Just as Giorno had a similar upbringing to DIO, he also had parts of his childhood that Jonathan went through as well. Giorno was always the kid that got bullied by the other kids, much like Jonathan. But that all changed when he met the man he came to idolize. 

Giorno saved the life of this unknown Gangster, so in return, this Gangster protected Giorno from his abusive step-father, the kids that bullied him, and made sure that young Giorno didn’t go unfed.

Because of the unknown gangster, Giorno was inspired to protect the little guy. In a world of corrupt government and crime, Giorno had a dream of being a GANG-STAR. Instead of using power to benefit himself, he wanted to use his power both literally and figuratively to make sure that nobody would have to go through the same kind of upbringing he had to go through.

Giorno truly is all the best parts of both DIO and Jonathan rolled into one character.

In Giorno’s bio page in the second last chapter in Vento Aureo, it is said that “What Giorno desires most is hope. He has faith that he can reach any destination, as long as he has hope.” This bio page also states that the source of Giorno’s hope and justice was the unknown gangster.

You can argue that his hope was able to manifest itself and what ultimately turned Gold Experience into Gold Experience Requiem (GER) in the final confrontation with Diavolo. Giorno literally becomes unbeatable with GER. GER’s PASSIVE ABILITY is that any hostility directed toward Giorno gets nullified and all action and intent of the attack gets set back to zero, preventing any attack that is directed to him from becoming “real”. (Pictured below is Giorno and Gold Experience Requiem)

You can say that Giorno has hope and faith in himself that nobody will be able to stand in the way of his dream. So Requiem literally makes it so that nobody can harm him.

Giorno’s whole life, he had struggled with finding his own self worth and managed to find self satisfaction in saving a stranger which made him realize what he enjoyed doing in life. Helping others, putting himself in danger to make his own dream come a reality. Giorno’s admiration, spirit, pride, and willpower to fight is contagious and quickly spreads throughout the entire cast of characters in Vento Aureo.

One of the most important characters to Giorno’s development is his right hand man, Bruno Bucciarati who has done even more selfless acts than Giorno has done for the sake of others. 

From the moment they met, they both realized that each other were special people. Bruno from a young age was infatuated with assisting others, easing the burdens of others just to make them happy, much like Giorno, which is what makes their relationship so special.

During the turning point of Vento Aureo, Bucciarati died in his fight with King Crimson. Giorno was going as fast as he could to save Bucciarati from his mortal wounds but it was too late. Or so he thought. In that moment where Giorno healed Bucciarati’s body, his soul had already left his body and was on his way to the after life. However, Bucciarati knew that the job was unfinished. His determination, and sheer willpower to see Giorno’s dream come to fruition kept his body alive for the rest of the series until their fated encounter with Diavolo and King Crimson in Rome. Where Bucciarati was finally able to see that Giorno was capable to finish the job himself.

This steeled Giorno’s resolve in his fight against the brutal, merciless, and thoughtless Diavolo, who killed for his own personal gain, not caring for his victims. Diavolo’s ideals and morals are severely distorted and blatantly evil. He thought that he was the one chosen by god to carry out his will to reign over humans as their king. He believed that he was supposed to be the one to judge humans if they should live or not, killing anyone he didn’t see fit into his plan. His mafia also contributed to his heinous crimes as the main reason that Giorno and Bucciarati connected, was their hatred for the boss’ policy of who the mafia sold drugs to. Passione often sold cocaine to women and children, which led to Bucciarati’s father’s murder, and Giorno’s abuse from his father and the bullies.

The abilities that Gold Experience granted him, let him see his dream come to fruition. That mixed with the attributes that he unconsciously inherited from his two fathers, Jonathan Joestar and Dio Brando in combination with Giorno’s will and resolve that was demonstrated to be contagious throughout the events of Vento Aureo. It ultimately affected me on a personal level, which is why I wrote this analysis. I personally deeply admire Giorno and his just dream. Doing anything it takes to see his just dream come true to benefit others despite all his shortcomings in his childhood, and everyone that wronged him in his life. Giorno still believed that he could ignite the change and illuminate the path of those around him to believe his golden dream. Giving others hope, that everything will be alright in the end. 

That, is why Giorno Giovanna is brilliant. 

[alsbesluit]

a match

  Three weeks later, Katie put on a nice, dark blue dress, styled her hair carefully in front of the mirror and wore her favourite pair of boots, light brown ankle boots that Leanne gifted her for her latest birthday. Lee told her she looked great when she walked into the living room and wished her good luck, ‘not that she needed it.’ George, who’d come over to hang out with Lee, commented that she looked great. She thanked both of them with a smile, kissed George’s cheek and made her way out. The sun was shining, something not too common for a day at the start of April, and it was warm enough to walk to the cafe with her coat loose after she’d apparated to the right part of the city.  

  She honestly really hadn’t had the time for a speed date situation. It sounded like an excuse, and perhaps she’d used it as one beforehand, but St. Mungo’s had become more busy since. The current magical government was pushing what people considered too progressive legislation and as a result, there had been revolts. Some of the staff on the more consistent wards (which was code for the healers of the wards on the fourth floor for the permanent residents and the second floor, since the amount of magical diseases was surprisingly consistent) had been asked to pitch in at the ground floor every other shift because both protesters and an influx of hit wizards and aurors got injured. They could use every wand and hand they could get. Regardless, her colleagues insisted she take the day off that she had planned, since she already took so little time off. It was probably a good thing she hadn’t mention what she would be doing, because they may have suggested she take off the next shift as well just in case she did meet someone.   She loved her colleagues, she really did, but she wished that people in general and her colleagues specifically stopped acting like it was the end of the world when you didn’t have a romantic relationship of some kind. She was perfectly fulfilled with her job and her friends. It was nowhere near the end of the world not to have some boy around. There were advantages, yes, but there were also disadvantages, especially since no boy had ever been right for her and Katie refused to settle. Relationships were work, and while she was willing to put in work it was only for someone who was worth it and would do the same thing in return. She was still trying to find this person. That was supposed to be the point of the speed date situation, alas.   The corner cafe looked like the kind of thing Nicholas and her spend time at when they were younger, for their uncle who didn’t have any kids owned a cafe. She’d worked behind the bar there when she was sixteen to make some extra money, so she was wholly familiar with the kind of building she was about to enter.    Upon entering, Katie observed that a number of tables with two chairs each (one on each side) had been set out in the middle of the bar. There was a small crowd at people standing to the side talking, all with their names on the outfit of choice, written on a sticker with sharpie. Katie made her way towards the bar, where she ordered a water by the bartender, an older woman with blond hair, sparking blue eyes and a friendly smile.   “Thank you, ma’am,” Katie thanked her when she got the water and immediately took a sip.    The woman smiled at her in return. “Are you here for the speed dating, dear?” she queried. Katie nodded. “I’ll get you a name tag right away. We’ll start in a few minutes.” She reached behind her for the sharpie and the stickers both. “What name should I write down? Or would you rather write it down yourself?”   This was where the awkwardness started, Katie found. Her real name and nickname usually had some very different responses. Katie was much more accessible, and it was what she went by, though. “Katie, and no thank you,” she said. “My handwriting is not nearby as good as yours, from what I’ve seen. I have a real doctor’s handwriting.”   The woman behind the bar wrote the name down in curly and quite readable letters and handed it over to Katie. Katie pushed her hair aside carefully before attaching the sticker to her dress. She should probably be mindful of her hair falling over the sticker time and time again. She took another sip of her water and studied the crowd that had gathered before addressing the bartender again.   “Are all these people here for the speed dating, or just a few of them?” she asked.   “Most of them are,” the woman replied. “I’ve seen some really nice and good-looking men pass by here and ask for a name tag already. We gathered an interesting crowd this month.” Both Katie and the woman lingered over looking at them. “Have you prepared your answers for the most obvious questions people ask?” she asked.   Katie grinned, amused by the statement, and looked back at the woman. “I did not, I didn’t even think what the most obvious questions would be. Do people really prepare?”   “Some of them do,” the woman said, a small smile on her face. “They don’t want to be caught off guard, I think, but I always fear it comes across a little rehearsed.” She frowned a little at that. “Nothing wrong with trying to be prepared, though.”   “I always try to be prepared,” Katie shared. “But the harder I try, the more I get caught off guard. You can’t prepare for everything. Just the probable things. So I’ve limited myself to that.” She shrugged her shoulders, then smiled. “Can I take the water with me as I do the speed dating?”   “Of course, dear,” the woman replied. “We’ll start any minute now.”   Katie couldn’t say if she was excited or scared. Perhaps both. She had to remind herself of what her friends said - that she would eventually get lucky and that she deserved to be with someone who liked her and that she should at least try the speed dating - and took another few sips of her water to calm herself. Soon enough, the bartender woman approached the middle of the room and announced the speed dating was about to begin. She explained the system - it was a rotating system with five minutes for every couple to chat and get to know each other and if you liked someone, you could write down their name and you would hear if there was a match - and handed out pieces of papers for everyone to write down at.    Soon enough, Katie was sat down at a table with a man named Jared who, while friendly,  talked a lot about himself and his very specific hobby of working on old cars and hunting after car parts, which usually took up his weekends. She could see why unless you had the same hobby, it would be difficult to date him. He seemed to prefer his car parts over dating. Needless to say, it was not a match, so when the bell sounded after five minues she moved onto the next table.   Unfortunately, the next man, Raheem, wasn’t any better of a match. He was admittedly handsome, but he immediately told her that he expected his future girlfriend to go to all kinds of sports events with her. She had to love sports, specifically football and formula 1 racing. Katie didn’t have the slightest clue what formula 1 racing was, but she could guess and she could also guess it wasn’t for her. Sure she liked sports. She loved quidditch. What she didn’t like was men demanding things of women as though their right. Katie had other hobbies outside of quidditch and liked to try and distribute her time between them, plus she didn’t really have that much free time to spend at all. Not a match, not at all.   She was still a little hopeful sitting in front of the third man,  Todd. Unfortunately, it was within the minute that she realized this wasn’t the man for her either. He was particularly full of himself. Apparently his workplace didn’t value him and should recognize he was easily the most important person on his team and should do better. He didn’t think to ask what she did for a living, as though unimportant, and she was starting to sense that he felt it wasn’t important. When the barwoman came by and asked if they wanted another drink, Katie politely asked for another water. When she left, the man said woman should be getting him drinks more often. She tuned out after that, and doubted the man realized she wasn’t listening.   The next two men were no match either, and by the time Katie made her way to the sixth table she was starting to get discouraged. Why did her friends think this was a good idea? It seemed that a very specific type of person went to speed dating; someone so specific that no one in their group of friends, relatives and acquaintances knew anyone to set them up with or would want to. Was she like that? Katie liked to think that she wasn’t, but due to the long hours on her job and her progressive stance she probably wasn’t anyone’s dream woman, exactly. Different people had different standards and she didn’t fit a lot of them.    There were still two to go. Katie set her glass of water down at the next table and sat down, lifting her eyes up to meet green eyes. The man had brown hair, a little wavy and on the longer side, and facial features that Katie vaguely recognized. He offered to shake hands with her and smiled. “Hi, I’m Marcus, as the name tag tells you as well, I guess.”   With that, everything clicked into place. Marcus. Flint, to be precise, a former Death Eater who was sentenced to ten years in Azkaban but was let go from the prison early because he signed an agreement about his magic getting taken away in return for his freedom. The policy was what the revolts had been about, in part. Was it more unethical to strip people of their wand than it was to leave them without wand anyway in a jail? She didn’t have the answer to that and she tried not to think about it too hard. She didn’t go into policy making or law enforcement for a reason. Her sense of right and wrong, while very strong, wasn’t what most people’s sense of it was, a lesson learned during the war. She was too kind, people said, too forgiving.    “Hi Marcus,” she said in a small voice, shaking his hand. “I’m Katie.”   It was in that moment that Marcus did a double check and recognized her as well. His eyebrows raised a little and he leaned back against his chair, exhaling slowly. “We don’t have to do this,” he said then. “We can just sit here in silence until the bell rings. Or I can get a refill and stay away the entire time. It’s whatever you prefer.”    Katie shook her head, long hair falling in front of her nametag. “No, we can do this,” she said. “We’re both adults and we came here to speed date. You may have done things in the past that I can’t morally agree with, but you’ve suffered the consequences and served your sentence.” Taking in Marcus, Katie wanted to amend the way she said that. He was still suffering those consequences and serving his sentence. It just wasn’t in Azkaban. “And now you’re here in London trying to rebuild a life, like you have every right to.”   “While all correct in some way, that doesn’t mean that my rebuilding life has to have you in it in any capacity, including seeing you for a couple of minutes during a speed date,” Marcus pointed out. “You don’t have to be kind about this, Bell.”   “I’m not,” Katie replied, leaning forward a little to get her point across. “I am kind. Always. People deserve kindness. People including you. So let’s do this right.” She took a deep breath. “Well, I’m Katie, I’m twenty-six and I work in a hospital as a doctor. I live right here in London with my roommate and I’m looking to find someone I click with to see if we can take it further on another date, no strings attached otherwise. What about you?”  By the end of the speed dating rounds, Katie was supposed to fill in who, if anyone, she wanted to see again. She was standing by the bar again as she pondered it. Truth be told, there was only one person she found even remotely interesting, but it was exactly the person that all her friends would tell her to please stay away from because she was setting herself up for failure. She didn’t think she agreed, though.    Katie glanced over at Marcus, who was standing at the other side of the room, and smiled a little when he caught her glance. He smiled back, and that settled it. She wrote down one name on the paper that she handed in by the barwoman in a barely legible handwriting and ordered her third water of the midday.   Sometime later, she was told there was a match.