#needed to hear this today
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It's hard waiting on your favorite smut blogger... take your time but we miss you xoxo
YOUR FAVORITE?! 🥺 Omg you are very sweet, thank you! I appreciate that you've been so patient with me. <3
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Yeah, I'm still here!!
And not quietly either. Ha
Remember this: you are not lazy, you are sick. You are not useless; you are in recovery. You are not unproductive; you are trying your best to live your life while dealing with your health all the time. See the effort it takes to be you. And appreciate the things you do for yourself, be proud of you because you are still going.
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💖Just a gentle nudge to remind you that you're not just existing—you're thriving, even on days when it doesn't feel that way. You're a one-of-a-kind force in this world, bringing light and love in ways you might not even realize. You've overcome so much, and you should be proud of every step you've taken, no matter how small. The world is better with you in it, and you've already made such a difference just by being you. Keep going, keep growing, and never forget how important you are💖
aww, ty anon <3
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
Plain-text version:
Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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#literally what i've realized while making art#oh i can't make people like it more by being LESS me#i have to be MORE me so people who don't like won't even touch it and people who do think it's the shit5,551 notes
you can put your whole pussy into what you do but you gotta accept not everyone likes your pussy
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But … how the staff swear? We Need to know that too…(of you want of course … love your art and your Amazing humor!!!)
(thank you! :D)
Trein: said 'damn' once when he was sixteen, still lays awake at night in embarrassment about his deplorable lapse in manners.
Vargas: swears like an old-timey carnival strongman. lots of "poppycock" and "what the devil" and an occasional "deuces!" (this makes classes very confusing for poor Deuce)
Crowley: doesn't intentionally swear, but every once in a while he'll, like...put together a presentation on the new staff policies or something that builds up to an acronym which, by complete coincidence, spells out something shockingly depraved.
it happens often enough that you'd think he's doing it on purpose, except. it's Crowley.
Sam: swears in the text, gets away with it because the character reading is always something else
(this is very specific to the Japanese version and probably too meta but I made myself laugh with it, I...I'm sorry)
#art#twisted wonderland#yeah here's some more characters swearing#i promise i will get back to actual Jokes™ at some point#(sorry for spamming a bit! just catching up on things)#anyway thanks for joining me for today's edition of crewel being slapped in the face with a sudden and unwelcome sense of sonder#trein: mister crewel need i remind you that i also have access to the internet#crewel: la la la i can't hear you#trein: i am aware of the existence of websites other than those that exclusively provide cat videos#crewel: lA LA LA --
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"You are made up of stars and the black glittering universe... But you are still just a human. Just a small thing that has to find its way like everyone else in this enormous world. It will not be simple, Grace Porter, and it will not be easy. You may have to make a lot of noise, and the universe's silence can be oppressive and thick. But you want them to hear you, and they will. So do not, not even for one second, stop making noise." - Honey Girl by Morgan Rogers
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Born in Flames (1983)
by Lizzie Borden
#1980s movies#No Wave#Downtown NYC#Florynce Kennedy#free palestine#Gaza#Keffiyeh#intifada#civil rights#i said what i said#decolonization#I don't know who needs to hear this today but#palestine#Israel#israeli apartheid#ethnic cleansing#Vaporwave#Social Justice#supernatural#qsmp#mass effect#us politics#loki#one piece#taylor swift#the eras tour
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mistakes don't mean you deserve to suffer
lots of times if I tell my boyfriend that I am proud of him for dealing with a situation, or that I'm sorry he's having to deal with a situation, he will say "no it's my own fault." meaning that he feels like he doesn't deserve praise or comfort for dealing with a situation that is his fault. (for example a financial problem caused or exacerbated by him having been too anxious or absentminded to deal with the situation sooner.) and I tell him this and I will tell y'all this, that I don't believe that. I think you are even braver and stronger for taking steps to deal with a mess that is of or partly of your own creation, because you have to cope with guilt and shame on top of the thing itself, and because you're fighting against the same ingrained dysfunction in yourself that caused the mess. that's like the bravest and most constructive thing you can do and you should be proud and I am proud of you.
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Today's gentle reminder💕
#illustration#artists on tumblr#cute#artoftheday#wholesome#A gentle reminder#today's reminder#love#gouache illustration#gouache art#gouache#painting#sweet art#relatable art#you got this#positive quotes#art#artist#artist on tumblr#nature art#sweet#beautiful colors#everything will be okay#you will be okay#better days are coming#things will get better#relatable#tag someone who need to hear this#artwork#gouache painting
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Good morning, Sleepyhead.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#'WWX was asleep for 4 days' is an incorrect factoid.#The average WWX sleeps for 8 hours. The PD-MDZS WWX who was asleep for 40 comics and 4 months is an outlier.#We are back to present day! I have missed drawing them!#Ah...the contrast between how the flashback ended (cold and distrustful) to how wwx wakes up (warm and watched over)...#The gap between the past and present is very important. Not just in this story but in our lives too.#The past can still hurt and it doesn't just go away with time as some say. It is the power of realizing that things have changed.#We can't get the good back. The bad memories have concluded. Those live somewhere else now.#It is hard to realize that you have to live for today and tomorrow. The past is so loud.#For WWX it is realizing that despite the mistrust in the past - He really does have faith that LWJ will be there for him.#It is the reflection of knowing that you changed and will keep changing and that change is good and kind sometimes.#But more importantly...and this I really do mean with all my heart:#It will all end up okay in the end. Even after the worst day. The most painful losses. You will get through it.#What feels like a breaking point is truthfully just another step you have to take. You'll get through it even though it feels like the end.#There are wonderful things you have yet to see. Friends you have yet to meet.#Even if it hurts so badly...one day it just aches. Someday you'll go a few weeks not remembering that it ever hurt.#Oh and because my izutsumi comic revealed many people were in need of hearing this:#You are loved. Right now. You are so loved right now. We just forget to tell each other that.#Go tell the people you love that they matter to you. I'm assigning you homework!!! You are graded on completion.
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To every trans person realizing their gender makes them straight:
You are good. Not despite your sexuality but because of it. Please don’t let yourself be ashamed about it.
There are queer people who say male heterosexuality is disgusting. There are queer people who say female heterosexuality is stupidity. There are queer people who will laugh about how silly and nasty it would be to be straight only to halfheartedly say “oh I guess trans straight people are the exception!” There are transphobes who pretend they’d care more about you if you just admit to your internalized homophobia/lesbophobia and stop being trans.
They’re all so fucking wrong. You are good for who you love. You are not ‘one of the good ones’, you are just simply good. Anyone who says otherwise is a fucking idiot.
You have a place in the queer community. You belong there as much as anyone else
#transhet#i definitely needed someone to tell me this when i was figuring out my gender#and no one really did#and so today I’ll say it just in case some other people need to hear it#queerhet
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Transcript:
Machine... Can I try... R-rizzing you up?
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEEAASSE
*inhale*
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE ᴾᴸᴱᴬˢᴱ ᴾᴸᴱᴬˢᴱ PLEAEAEAEAEASE
End transcription
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This was requested by @blazeball THANK YOU 🫡
Also this bit at the end is foreshadowing for tomorrows post ;)
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*gasp* HE'S PULLING HIS COCK OUT.
#gabriel ultrakill#ultrakill#sorry for the next tags#i need him this desperate. every. day.#on his knees and everything#its the only thing that would fix me#sorry.#I normally post in the afternoon but. im .going insane today I need you guys to hear this#I’ll prob reblog later at the more usual time
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Hi I love your art so much and I wanted to let you know because im not sure if you need to hear this or not but im proud of you. I was also wondering if you could draw charles and edwin laughing and being domestic on the couch? If not I understand and thank you so much for your contribution to this lovely fandom.
What do you think they're talking about?
ko-fi
#ask ask ask#dead boy detectives#dbda#payneland#edwin x charles#personally i think they're gossiping#I thought i wouldn't have time to draw anything today but this took like 20 minutes#hooray!#their little feet touching is important. to me.#also yes maybe i made the couch smaller than it actually is#the couch is a good character and it will be whatever size i need of it#everyone say thank you office couch#also#thank you. i really do need to hear that every now and then
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Time for soft Logan part 3!
Part 1
Part 2
#soft logan#logan howlett#james howlett#wolverine#poolverine#deadpool and wolverine#wade wilson#x men#spiderman#spidyclaws#no wait#spiderwolves#wolvespider#i lnow hes maried to jean here#he just calls peter bub with such a warm smile#love that he seems to also love a cartoon cat#i bet their apartment is littered with hellow kitty and Garfield#mariko yashida#oh what hapens with her breaks my hear#logan needs a hug#maybe ill endulge in a logan crys post some day#many good dad wolvies today#domestic logan is best logan
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#how things started vs. how they're going ✨
Loki S01E01 (2021) // Loki at PaleyFest LA (2024)
#mobius#loki#owen wilson#tom hiddleston#lokius#mcuedit#lokiedit#marveledit#this wasn't what i planned to gif today but it's been on my mind forever so here y'all go alksdglsdfsk#stg not just a want but a NEED to hear owen's take on everything there has never been a person more fascinating to me??#let him improv let him speak there can't possibly be anything in this world that wouldn't be made better because of it 🥺💖#marvel#owenwilsonedit#dianagifs
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