#needed to get it out

[starry-skies-writes]

Hello I had a thought and decided not to share, so yk

Just do NOT imagine Aaravos braiding Leola’s hair every morning, when they probably talk and laugh at each other’s antics and jokes

Don’t imagine Leola swinging her legs as she doodles on the floor, carefully adding a mustache after deliberation

Don’t imagine Aaravos having this soft, warm smile as he watches from his table, thinking he could do this forever

Don’t imagine Aaravos stuck in his prison, haunted by the same memories everyday for centuries (he can’t do this forever)

[wanderingcas]

dean falls to his knees after cas disappears post-confession, devastated, but he doesn't have long to mourn. because just as cas gets sucked away, another one gets spat out again into the room: younger, with wilder hair, a gun poised in front of him as he scans the room with wide eyes. he's not in his trenchcoat. actually he's in a green jacket that looks really similar to dean's.

"cas?" dean asks, climbing to his feet, tears still wobbling in his eyes.

cas locks eyes with him. his frown deepens, and dean realizes like a punch to the stomach: no, this isn't cas. not his, anyway.

"where is he?" cas demands.

"who?" is all dean can choke out.

"the asshole you that said he loved me and got pulled away by the Empty."

dean just stares, his jaw working. then his brain reboots. he puts his hand on the hilt of his own gun. "is this some kind of fucking joke?"

"if you call universe-hopping to find the self-sacrificing idiot of an angel you love who needs to get his ass pulled out of an eldritch being's realm, then yeah," cas says, narrowing his eyes. "it's fucking hilarious."

[lostlimerence]

“Suguru Geto,” Nobara spits the name like it’s acid on her tongue. Yuji tilts his head, sits up straight, interest piqued “who?”

Fuck. Gojo hates this part of his job.

Nobara leans forward, pauses for a second, savouring the suspense she has Yuji hanging in before letting out a stage whisper “the worlds worst ever curse user.” Yuji’s reaction would be a source of amusement for Gojo, if the topic had been anything else.

His eyes bulge and he shoves himself closer leaning over the table into Norbara’s space, the red-head’s eye twitches as she places a finger on his temple shoving the invader back a few inches before continuing “apparently he went batshit…”

Gojo tries to drown the conversation out, tries to focus on the case in his lap, the ink on the page, but some words still slip through.

“Deranged”

Gojo bites his lip. Hears that voice, that deep, beautiful voice that would say his name in a way that was so soft, so gentle, so fucking tender, that remembering the loss of it feels like something picking at the stitches of his bloody soul. Satoru.

“Psychotic”

He winces, feels the ghost of a hand pressing little circles into the base of his neck, soothing sore muscles. Hears the gentle chiding, the “I don’t care if you’re the strongest, you still need to stretch, you moron.” He used to melt in those hands.

“Evil”

His fist clenches, he sees Suguru grinning wide, sweets in one hand, the other steadying a bike. Feels the phantom kiss at his temple, hears their combined laughter as they shift their weight, bodies pressed impossibly close, to keep from toppling.

And god he’s desperate to counter the kids.

Desperate to scream ‘you didn’t fucking know him.’

Desperate to tell them that Suguru Geto, the worlds worst, was his best.

His best friend, his better, his one and only, the love of his miserable life.

But he can’t.

Instead, he waits as the next line hits like a knife to the gut.

“Guess who killed him!” Nobara grins, eyes flicking briefly over to their sensei.

Yuji stares at her, catches the hint quick and beams “Gojo sensei!” they both turn to him Nobara nodding confirmation.

And it fucking hurts, the excitement, the pride, the awe in their voices.

Guess who killed him. Those words make him want to reach inside himself, to rip into his own skin and claw at the remnants of his tattered heart.

He turns away, clenches his teeth, tastes copper and says nothing as that cheerful statement reverberates through his brain.

Guess who killed him.

Stop.

Guess who killed him.

Stop.

Guess who killed him.

Stop.

He shoves himself up abruptly, ignoring his confused students, throws the door open, and strides down the hall, then right out into the rain.

Satoru.

Turns his head skywards, let’s the rain in, let’s it trail his cheeks, let’s it mask his pain. Suguru.

[antoncore]

it’s rlly starting to set in that i’m getting older :/ like i’m 20 in a month, i’ll be done with uni next year and i’ll have to find a full-time job😭😭 it’s all so scary aaaaaa

[amandarayyy]

I need Advice

Ok, so I need a sounding ear and some advice that's why I'm turning here. I've been struggling with staying motivated to write lately because I've been so stressed out with life and it's making me extremely upset because I love to write so 1, to my fellow writers: how do you continue to stay motivated when you have a crap load of stuff going on in your personal life? But 2, My car broke down completely and I don't have the money to fix it so I sold it to a junkyard trying to make some extra cash but my day job required me to have a car so now I've been applying to hundreds of random jobs (probably not that many but a lot) trying to find something that works with my schedule and have not heard anything. I'm getting stressed because BILLS and FOOD obviously but I'm trying to figure out what to do! I've never been in a situation like this and since I have no support I'm so distraught as to what to do so I need advice! I keep seeing random GoFundMe's going around, like should I make one since I'm desperate? But I don't want to put that on people, I know there are so many people struggling out there. Anyone know any remote jobs hiring or similar? Gah, I can't even think of what else to do besides constantly applying for jobs and just waiting but then I'm nervous with no money coming in that everything will get turned off and whatnot. WHY DOES THIS YEAR SUCK SO HARD RIGHT NOW. *takes deep breath* I know it's going to work out in the end, I have faith, I'm just....meh

[affectionatepanda]

So I have a motor tic and it’s been so bad lately. Especially in public. I don’t really know the cause of it (my neurologist said they can “just happen” which… helpful) but I do know it started when I was 16. It drives me a little crazy and makes me feel like a robot that’s glitching. It also attracts a lot of attention which then makes it worse because that kind of attention really freaks me out. I don’t know anyone else with tics but I know they can’t be uncommon. I’m just kind of having a bad time and this is a really small part of it but I needed to get *something* off my chest and this is the lightest thing going on with me. This is just a ramble post really. But yeah… motor tics.

[sillysadduck]

aight a long distance ex friend is still stalking me AND MESSAGING MY MOM SAYING SHE "HEARD THINGS" ABOUT ME 3 years after I blocked her so I'm dealing with more shit than expected rn😭 can I have a normal day

mind you she found my family all by herself so she's definitely stalking all of us if anyone has any advice its appreciated

[rosecolouredlove]

wait wait. you don't knowww!!!! he's the most beautiful the sweetest the prettiest boy in existence!!!! i just needed to get it out! he's sooooo goooodd!!!! he's the loveliesstttt! i neeed to get married to him and him only! no one else would ever do! he's sooo jsjakakshsj aaaaaah i'm in love!!!!

[thegoldenretrieverandthegaynerd]

Little rant:

I’m sick of my family and I watching something on tv and they bang on about there being gay people, or black people, or trans people etc (basically anything but white straight) saying ‘oh they have to tick all the boxes now, have the token such and such’

What kind of a selfish, close minded person doesn’t understand that they are just as worthy to being on tv or film as anyone else?

Why, with some of the older generation, do they think we should be operating with a policy of ‘they can exist but just don’t shove it in our face’?

They can’t understand that the reason they are shocked by this representation is because up until now they haven’t seen it. They can’t understand that it has been a discriminatory, cruel and dangerous world, and it still is.

Every time the topic comes up I fight with them, I ask why it’s box ticking to have them on there instead of just being fair and right? They just never seem to understand.

It breaks my heart that there are discriminatory people in the world and they exist in my family too. It truly does!

[sschixzo]

one time i was just sitting at a baseball game. i dont even like baseball. but i was eating peanuts with the shells. and i coughed it up onto a bald guys head.

[mintglacier]

I did some uh...spicy stuff with my wol this morning

This cute cat boy in the fc I'm in started flirting with my characte a few days ago and oh boy. He was very forward this morning when we happened to cross paths and I played along and dhfdhbfbshfjdbf

Twas the most fun I've had on the game since clearing savage content with my old static gggghfhhdhf

It was very fulfilling in a way to have my character "wanted" in that sense since I hardly get any compliments on him so....dhdjdjf YUP ya boy erp'd and shhdhdhfjd ><

Honestly I didn't think I'd be as into it as I was but it's filling a kind of gap I've felt with this game for some time??? And plus idk the attention he gave my wol was so nice just AAAAAAAAAA

Not only that it was my first time rp'ing ever let alone erp'ing and he was so receptive and seemingly surprised I was as into it as I was since normal people probably wouldn't be privy to that??? Just jdhfbdvrhrkfndbfjdfjdjdbfjzjajabxbx

[seradyn]

Letter to my abusers.

Hey, so I’m gonna share something a little different. I don’t talk about it much, but my childhood was…less than perfect, to put it simply. I’ve been holding on to a lot of anger for over a decade because of it, and I finally wanted to let it out. I’ve contemplated sending a letter to the people who hurt me, but I don’t think I will. It’s nice to just finally let some of this out.

Read at your own discretion, this is a vent letter, and it features child abuse.

———————————————————————

To whom it may concern,

There used to be a daycare run out of this house, by a Hawaiian family. Run by a large woman, who made us call her Auntie, I remember it well.

This is a letter from one of the kids who used to go there.

And let me tell you…I hated it.

The way you treated me, was nothing short of abuse.

And I remember all of it. Too many examples to properly give justice.

I remember when you put me down for touching something you left in your living room. How you condescendingly told me I wouldn’t like it if someone came into my house and touched my things.

I was a child. I was five.

But you didn’t care. Abusers never do.

I remember the time you let me go hungry for a full day.

In the morning, you served me oatmeal, a mushy, brownish glob that was in a bowl much too big. I took one bite, and cringed at the texture. I couldn’t eat it.

You took that as a sign of defiance. Wouldn’t let me leave the table until I finished it. When I proved my own stubbornness was stronger, you dismissed me, and I thought that was that.

Imagine my surprise when come lunch time, the same blue, plastic bowl filled with gritty mush was put in front of me.

I couldn’t leave until I ate it. I couldn’t join the other kids in front of the TV until I’d eaten it.

I had autism. Not that you cared, but it made the texture unbearable.

When, again, I made it clear I would not be eating your oatmeal, you dismissed me. I didn’t see food again until my parents picked me up, 5 o’clock sharp.

You didn’t seem bothered by the rolling of my empty stomach.

I remember when you punished me for not remembering what I’d read from my books during reading time.

I had ADHD. Not that you cared, but it meant my memory wasn’t as good as it was supposed to be. Hard as I tried, I couldn’t recall what my books contained.

So, when I failed your pop quiz, you punished me, believing I hadn’t read anything at all.

Can you even imagine my frustration? Not only because you didn’t believe me, but the fact I couldn’t remember was in itself upsetting. Why couldn’t I remember?

You made me hate reading. I had to start rereading each of my books three, maybe four times over, out of fear I would be asked to regurgitate its words. The sheer boredom I felt as I read the same blurb about Polar Bears 3 times was enough to kill, but I had to.

I was afraid of you.

I remember when you rubbed it in my face how much better the younger kids were than me.

You went the public humiliation route this time, made me sit at the kids table, reserved for 5 and under, while I was going on 7, maybe 8. Made sure I watched as you let one of the 4 year olds sit at the dining table, the real one. And at the end of the meal - lunch I believe - you made sure to praise her manners, and berate me for mine.

Poor kid, she hadn’t liked it either. She never smiled during this, not with pride or smugness. Only confusion painted her face that day, as she looked between the two of us.

She didn’t understand she’d been made a tool, a puppet for your petty games.

But you didn’t care. I doubt you even noticed her discomfort, despite your praise.

I remember when you made me repeat a nasty phrase I’d said to my sister during an argument.

Yes, it was mean. Very mean, and I deserved to be punished for it.

But you made me tell everyone. Every time one of the family members came downstairs to speak with you, you made me repeat it for them. You let them each individually scold me for it. Long after I’d realized it was wrong to say and why, long after my cheeks ran red with shame, you let them scold me. Made them scold me. Made sure I was humiliated as much as possible by being forced to repeat that phrase.

Your family isn’t small, and far from nice or gentle. When they scold, they yell.

I guess you figured one reprimanding wasn’t enough. Even for a petty squabble between siblings.

Much of these moments, carried out by one woman. Not the main caretaker; she was a relative. I can remember her face like I’d just seen it, her jet black hair, the streak of bright blue down the side, the piercings. I remember her, for she, out of all the family, was the worst of them all.

I will never forgive her. For almost 20 years, that hatred hasn’t lessened. Hasn’t gone away. No, it’s only intensified.

And I will never forgive you, for letting her be my abuser. The rest of your family was abusive too…but nothing compared to that woman.

I dreaded being brought to your daycare.

So much so, I once chose to sit outside my empty house, in the cold and rain, waiting for hours until my parents got home. I was too young to have a key.

I chose to be cold and wet and hungry over going to your house.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

How dare you treat a child like you treated me. Treated us.

This was only a sampling of all I was put through.

Sometimes, we’d see each other. When I got a little older, didn’t need the daycare anymore, sometimes we’d bump into each other. On Halloween my dad would take me trick-or-treating in your neighborhood, and I’d see you.

Your door would fly open, and soon your arms would too, squealing with delight at seeing me again. As if all those years had been some of the best.

While I had to force a smile. Had to pretend I was glad to see you too. I didn’t want to start anything.

But now I’m older. Now I understand.

What you were, what you did to me.

I hope for any child’s sake you don’t run your daycare anymore.

They’re better off without it.

- A kid you left traumatized

[rex101111]

do you know what what happens when your older sibling dies? 

you loved them but you hated them but you sought their approval because that somehow mattered more than your parents and it sucks and you want to scream at them because how dare they leave you alone that's not fucking fair because you loved them and there was distance because to them you were a kid and to you they were...something. 

they were your sibling and that fucking MEANT something and now it doesn't and it does and you. 

you just want them back.

 just that. nothing more. you just want that is that too much to ask? just to wake up and talk to them again? because talking to them was always easier? because they actually listened even if they made fun of you they listened and that mattered and now there's a hole in your heart that no one and nothing will ever ever EVER fill because they were your sibling and no bond will replace that. 

never never never.

And now here you are with your brother in a box and your parents holding you so tightly you might just snap in half and you’re shaking and sobbing and your brother is in a fucking box and the world will now and forever make just a little bit less sense because he was strong and loud and stubborn and there there always there and now he’s fucking GONE.

There’s a stone where your brother was, it has a kind engraving and the date the world ended for a week before you needed to wash your face and help your parents pack up his stuff and clean his room and decide what to do with his shitty car and his loud bike that he couldn’t even ride near the end because he could barely fucking walk near the end and its not fair its not fair you want to scream and scream and cry in a corner because doing that always made him come running.

because this is all just. one big joke. a cruel wretched prank and he’ll jump at you from a corner and hug you so tightly you won’t be able to breath and it’ll all be over like the nightmare it feels like.

but then a week become a month become a year become a fucking decade and in a few months you’ll be the same age as your big brother because the universe is a cruel sack of crap and like to laugh at you try to make sense of the fact that your big brother that was born ten years before you did was 29 and you’re 28 and a half and isn’t that just. hysterical? 

im half the boy i used to be and half the man im trying to be and ill never ever ever ever measure up. doesn’t matter that he wasn’t perfect and that he pissed me off because he was plucked away from me before i was ever old enough to actually talk to him like an adult instead of a little kid asking for his turn to play that new game he bought. because that’s what i was and what ill always be to him, his stupid little brother that never gave him a damn break or left him alone or understood what pain he was going through until they sliced me open and I couldn’t lay down for 5 weeks.

and i could go on and on and on and on forever until the sun blinks out because every year im forgetting more how he talked and how he sang and how he shouted and one day im going to forget his stupid fucking smile, that crooked, infuriating, perfect smile. and when that happens he’ll die again and i don’t ever think ill be strong enough to take it,

siblings aren’t peers but they are so evidently Going Through It With You, they are a preview of what you’ll deal with in one way or another, and when you Go Through It they’ll cheer you on and tease and give you tips. they’re a crutch, a training wheel, a partner. and he’s gone. and im alone. i have friends and family and people who care about YES and i will never take that for granted ever ever EVER...but im alone. in a way that won’t ever be fixed im alone and that’s the truth.

yeah. that’s what happens. that’s what keeps happening, every year until im in another box like he is. ill never be okay with that because why the hell would I? who would be okay with a bleeding heart? 

but ill be okay with not being okay. just, not today

[lixzwithapen]

Is it me?

Is it you?

Is it us?

It's us

Isn't it?

It just fits

I'm us

Try not to make a fuss

About it

I wanna just sit

And rest

Leave the rest

To someone

Others

Oh god it bothers

Me

It bothers us

I shouldn't suss

Out the reason

It's just the season

Day or night?

I just can't fight

Him

Anymore

Me

Any longer

I sit in a somber

Silence

A loss

So great

So insane

I can't understand

Where I stand

Him Or me?

Wait and see

I don't know

I can't find

Where to draw the line

Am I broken?

Is he that unspoken?

I want to be his friend

Just come lend

A hand

A right

To be myself

I need him to stop

Oh how far we've dropped

Too far down again

Just please be my friend

I beg and I plead

Stop sowing that seed

In me

In us

I must trust

It'll be okay

Do I lie when I say

That?

I must go

Sit in my sorrow

Figure a way

Just to clearly say

I lost my life

I took a knife

I played with death

Just for a breath

Of me

Of hope

Of faith

I create

A mess perhaps

A life to live

A life of love

Please I beg

We'll kick and scream

I want to stop

I fucking gave up

[feyriejane]

I AM GOOD ENOUGH I AM WORTHY OF LOVE I AM NOT BROKEN I AM TRUE TO MYSELF I AM CHERISHED I AM TREASURED I AM LOVED I AM NOT A BURDEN I AM A WONDERFUL FRIEND I AM A LOVING PARTNER

I AM GOOD ENOUGH

[riverside-lavender]

boy why are you so ears!!!!