#need to see a therapist perhaps
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ive turned a corner unexpectedly. I really wanna read destiel mpreg now
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mothers will monologue to their daughters about their parenting regrets and then say they don't need therapy bc they have nothing to talk about
#GIRL#you don't need therapy bc you think your daughter is your therapist perhaps....#daughters of mothers are really god's strongest soldiers#men will see a mouse and eat it etc etc
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in my venti feelings⌠he has nothing to call his own except for his love of alcohol, the colour of his eyes, and the wings on his back. ( the wings which arenât even visible when he walks among mortals, because what normal person has wings like his? ) and everything else is from his friend. his face. his body. his interests. how much of himself is actually someone else? and itâs his way of trying to bring the bard back, turning itself into a reincarnation of the first person he loved. but he wonât come back, and he wonât ever be him. :(
#IM SOOOO UGHHHH#v.enti u are so loved by me⌠but i need u to heal. and to see a therapist perhaps#(he wonât do either)#â venti / headcanon.
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if anyone needs me i will be rewatching trigun 98 and tristamp over and over until my brain explodes
#had a bad time in therapy today sigh#first time i cried in front of the new therapist wooooooooo#and we havent even started talking about the painful stuff yet. how tf am i gonna handle that#(spoiler: im not <3 we dont have to talk abt it if i never bring it up)#also being. slammed with nostalgia (/neg) and i cannot get rid of it and it fucking sucks#got a. bad taste in my mouth. from like. everything rn#anyway. if anyone needs me i will be bolting myself into a shitty tin can and sending myself to the bottom of the sea.#not to see the titanic bc im not dumb and full of hubris. but just like. in general#im down there now. i want to fucking explode#sorry bad joke <3 i wanna kms so bad. i wanna wake up tomorrow and be in a universe that is Not This One#aaughrggghrghr. im angry and j dont know what im angry at . i wanna. fling myself into space#so instead i will watch trigun and if i start posting about max in the next day or so well can you blame me.#i hope someone draws him for artfight. specifically. hes rlly cool#i have his page uploaded already but im sooooo bad at making descriptions#oh fuck i also learned how to fucking tag things on artfight now omg. i didnt know that was a thing.#how did i do three years of this shit and not TAG anything. what the fuck#anyway. wish i was a guy covered in blood rn. maybe i should watch hannibal instead#is it time to bring out ol reliable and watch the stab scene from mizumono on a loop again#and perhaps i will listen to sodikken misery meat and people eater. idk. spice it up a little#girls when they say they want to be held: screenshot of the way hannibal holds wills face before gutting him like a fish#im feeling rlly normal rn if you cant tell
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This may be the depression speaking + the earliest trauma I've ever gone thru (completely accidental as well), but I think it's kinda pointless to give me gifts. I have clothes that still fit me and are in excellent condition. I have shoes. I have a sizeable movie collection (that tbf I can always add to), and all the books I'd want. I don't paint anymore so it's useless giving me art supplies. And unfortunately even giving me money is hilariously pointless bcus I'm not even gonna spend it on anything, I'm just gonna put it into my savings account and keep living day by day as I do: doing nothing...interesting
#post#how am I this lifeless at fucking 25 dude. holy shit#vent#personal#my hobbies are watching movies. then writing fic. this if I can even squeeze it in between my classes#(sighs) I'd told my mom at the beginning of the semester that I won't be able to go out anymore#she didn't believe me#she's always desperate to get me to go outside to some event or the other n I'd rather just not go bcus well! I don't have any friends#either so it's like. it's just the 2 of us#I like hanging out w her but man walking around n seeing everything doesn't take as long as you'd think#man this is so sad. and pathetic. I should just straight up die#that's another thing today we went to costco n I went to see if this math book I saw like a week or 2 ago was still there n it's not#I wasn't able to find it online either n it sent me into such a pit of despair that like. wow this sucks#I want so many things!!! and I don't ask for any of them bcus; going to my first point!!!; what'd be the fucking point!!!#the hilarious accidental trauma was that I was 2 and wanted a horse book n threw a tantrum about it#n then my mom took me home n sternly yet calmly explained how she couldn't get it for me n would be able to get it at another time#the thing is is that no one around me wants to acknowledge that I'm autistic so this event resulted in me taking it dead serious literally#and my 2 yr old brain understood it to mean 'never ask for anything ever anymore'#I've never thrown a tantrum since but I HAVE swallowed up and repressed every single desire I've had for material things#hmmm is that why I tend to choose experiences sometimes. like trips n stuff. bcus it's not an actual physical thing#was just thinking earlier how my future therapist might find me annoying in that half the work is done in that I keep learning things about#myself a little Too Well#the only therapist I've had up until now was a lady at my uni campus who could only see me for 2 months until she moved to another uni#n she told me. 'your problem is that you're too logical. you're too aware of yourself. you need to allow yourself to feel something'#like!!! don't I know that all too well!!!#hmm is that ALSO perhaps why I'm having more visible meltdowns?#then again I hate crying in front of my parents. it feels like I'm just. man we always joke about me being a spoiled brat bcus I'm an only#child but maaaaaaaaan. it always feels like I never appreciate things n that they Know this n I'm constantly never living up to my#high potential. bcus I'm so spoilt n everything n beneath me somehow#idk man. one day I'll just tell my therapist to follow me on tumblr n analyze me via my tags
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â CAN'T WE BE SEVENTEEN? ; shoto todoroki ; çŚĺ
summary: he's loved you since he was seventeen. pairing: f!reader x pro hero!shoto ; reader was a 1-A student tags: mutual pining, heavy make-out, thinly veiled sugar daddy shoto, reader does not go pro, touya might be a dick but he's a hero now, shoto is bad at feelings wordcount: 5.6k a/n: i do not fucking know what came over me, enjoy your food my little todorokinas. yes the title is what you think it is. no i will not elaborate.
You never did go pro.
Truthfully, you thought there would be more pushback when, in your senior year, you announced your plan to pursue a degree in early childhood education with a focus on non-conforming quirk development.Â
The War changed a lot. It changed you, your classmates, and the world. But, through it all one thing stuck with you:
What if someone helped Tenko Shimura?
How different would his life have been? How different would history have spun?Â
You graduated at the top of your class and joined the faculty at Chiba Prefectural Preparatory School for Quirk Specialties two years ago.Â
Chiba Prep was opened eight years ago in response to a societal cry for more infrastructure around what was dubbed "non-conforming quirks": a nice way to say quirks that can injure, maim, or kill. Maybe even all three on a bad day. Some parents still see their child being labeled as a non-conforming quirk user in the national database as akin to social suicide.Â
You see it differently.
Your quirk allows you to manipulate emotions â anger, sadness, betrayal, love, hatred. If you can feel it, you can sink it into another's psyche deep enough to drive them to act. You can even imbue things with feelings. For example, a cup of warm milk can transform into more than just a simple comfort, now it can hold the feeling of home and safety, or even exhaustion strong enough to put even the biggest foe to rest.Â
You could easily use your quirk with nefarious intent.Â
You could steep hatred in someone's bone so deep it drives them to harm themselves. You could sew fury so solid into someone's mind it drives them to violence.Â
Just a touch and you can control others with something so intrinsically personal it only exists within themselves: their feelings.
What makes you any different from little Asuke, a shy little girl with a quirk that allows her to see people's greatest fears, and then manifest and control them? You're convinced she can use this for good, if only with practice. In your mind, her future is bright and glimmering. Perhaps she will become a therapist, focusing on exposure therapy? Or, maybe the most prolific horror novelist in their time?Â
Or, bright and sunny Tao â a transplant whose parents sought out Chiba Prep's specialized education â whose heteromorphic quirk makes his bodily fluids, namely saliva, eat through nearly anything but his own biologics. A sneeze is quickly the most dangerous thing in the world for the cheery, lizard-bodied class clown.Â
He's just a boy given a quirk that needs more care.Â
He isn't a villain-in-training.Â
None of them are.
It's important to teach them that young â and as their teacher for Year 3 of their elementary schooling, you aim to hammer that in as much as possible. They deserve to feel normal. To feel loved and supported. They aren't scary, they're children.Â
So, you take it upon yourself to insist on pushing for privileges like field trips. There aren't many public spaces that welcome the classes of Chiba Prep with open arms. Over the years, there have been plenty of incidents. But, a day trip into the city to visit Tokyo's Hall of Heroes is green-lit with bubbling excitement from both faculty, the children, and their parents.Â
You usually keep your history as a graduated member of Class 1-A quiet.Â
After all, you never did go pro.
And even still, Shoto Todoroki never stopped thinking about you.
He remembers that weekend everyone moved back in for their last year before graduation. He remembers you smiling at him, and helping him drag up a duffel of luggage from the common room to his dorm. You made a joke about how you're sure he got taller over the summer, and how his hair is longer now. You said you liked it.Â
It was the beginning of the end, then.
His crush was a silent, smothering thing. It made it hard to think. Shoto had enough on his plate thanks to Touya's acceptance into the Villain Rehabilitation Program and his father's insistence on staving off retirement. Not to mention his parent's divorce â no matter how amicable, it was still a separation. Add on training, tests, studying, finals, and j-term classes... And a desperate, writhing, burning crush on the nicest girl in class?Â
Touya's elbow digs into Shoto's side.
It drags him back to reality â to the stifled quiet of the historical Hall of Heroes.Â
Suddenly, the doors to the wing squeak open, and a tour guide ushers in the elementary school class. The buzzing excitement and wonder are visible on each of their faces as the attendant â one of the HoH's lead tour guides â excitedly explains the newest, in-progress addition to the Hall:
Endeavor's wing.Â
There's a whisper of awe that ripples through the children as their teacher and co-teacher follow, and as the class moves through the large, open space. They're staring up eagerly at the gilded statue in the center of the room. It's larger than life and intimidating. Years ago, Shoto might have had to fight the odd tremble in his knees at the reminder it brings: to be small in his father's shadow again. But, things are different now.Â
Very different.
Touya scoffs. "I thought this wing wasn't open to the public yet."
"They're just children," Shoto hums, turning his back on the gaggle across the way to inspect the large mural winding along the back end of the installation, "I'm sure it'sâ"
"Oh, ho, no way!"
Shoto quirks his brow at his brother's outburst. His elbow digs into Shoto's ribs again.Â
"Ain't that the pretty girl you never got the balls to ask out your senior year?" comes the rasped drawl of his older brother's voice. Touya is clearly amused, his white hair hanging in his eyes as he leans forward to squint, "She is cute, Sho'â"
"Shut up," Shoto grits, turning his head over his shoulder; he tries to bite back the flurry of nerves that ignite in his gut, "Stop talking."
It is you.
You look... good.Â
Happy.Â
You're crouched by a small, timid girl in the back of the crowd. Your hand is in hers, and you're pointing upwards at the large paneled screens replaying Endeavor's most historic fights. You're explaining something to her, your knees bent as you squat. You look... the same. As if in the six years since they graduated, you sat still in time.Â
For a second, it's like he's seventeen again.
It's his senior year, and he's stuck at the corner of the gym's edge with a half-empty glass of punch in his hand. The lights are low, and there's slow music playing. His tie feels too tight. Bakugo keeps telling him to 'ask her to dance already', and Kirishima is considering bashing his head through the wall. Even Midorya is trying to persuade Shoto.Â
"It's prom, man! C'mon, this could be your last chanceâ"
Touya is about to be a real pain in the ass â his favorite pastime â and make some comment about your ass, but when he turns to lob the one-liner at his baby brother, Shoto's gone.
Shoto is on the move.
The crescendo of gasps draws your attention first.
Then, the cry of "WOAH, IT'S SHOTO!" leaves you dumbfounded. The rippling murmur of excitement bleeds into the children as their eyes â and the eyes of the tour guide â widen at the sight of the approaching Pro Hero.Â
Shoto Todoroki.
He looks... good.Â
Really good.
He's a bit older, and a bit more filled out than when you were both teenagers. You can see the strength in his arms and shoulders â it's a distant echo of his father's physique, though Shoto is so much more elegant and much... prettier. He's always been.
For a second, you're seventeen again.
It's your senior year, and you're sprawled across Momo Yaoyorozu's bed.
They had finally wrangled out of you who your crush was: something they hadn't been able to do in all their years as classmates.
There's a sticky, Miss Midnight-themed face mask clinging to your expression as you try to flip through the large magazine in your hands as nonchalantly as possible. Mina's voice, as she paints Ochaco's nails a bright pink on the floor, is sweet and saccharine as she looks up at you.
"I think you and Shoto would be, like, the cutest couple ever."Â
You're still crouched when the tour guide nervously â like she was caught doing something naughty â introduces The Pro Hero Shoto to the already-aware crowd of elementary school students and their teachers. It's like igniting a match; the uproar of excitement leaves you laughing as three of your boys push forward to bombard him with questions about his quirk.Â
Asuke is smiling shyly, now. That's a small win. She's intrigued by the appearance of a real hero, not the "scary statues" â and her big, fat tears stopped rolling the moment you laid a gentle hand on her to quell her anxiety over the new environment with a push of comfort through your quirk. She unhooks her pinkie finger from yours as you guide her towards your co-teacher.Â
"Boys," you call with a crisp air of authority as you stand and lead Asuke toward the bulk of the field trip group, "What have we learned about personal space?"
"It's fine, really, Insight," comes Shoto's voice; as warm and placid as you remember.Â
"Insight?" mutters your co-teacher at the presumed hero-name; a look of confusion plasters itself on her face, and her big, feline ears perk up. She leans in to whisper in a way that borders on conspiratory, "Do you two know one another?"
"Old classmates," you confirm, not daring to get into the finer details.
Shoto's attention is entirely rooted in the way you manage the kids. There's something beautiful about the ease with which you handle the bouquet of students; you quell the excitement into a manageable decibel like it's as easy as breathing.Â
"Shoto," you start as you gesture to him, "Has a very special quirk â Toyamai, he has ice like you. And, fire like Tojiro. He can regulate his temperature. Can anyone tell me what that means?"
There's a wave of hands shooting up, a few me, me, me's rise from the gaggle.Â
You're using him as a teaching moment.
Shoto's smile is soft.
You nod at Ogomi, excitedly nodding as the reserved child speaks up. Normally, he hates public speaking. But, recently, he's started working with the speech pathologist during lunch. The boy bounces a little as he answers. "He doesn't g-get too hot, or too c-cold."
"Exactly! Isn't that cool?" you grin at the lazy attempt at a pun, "This is why it's important to learn about our quirks as much as we can!"
Touya thinks this whole thing is just too cute.Â
You're different than he remembers â but, granted, things were sorta different last time he saw you. He was a little too busy tryna kill his old man and lil' Shoto. He's different now, too. A changed man! A real licensed hero. Support items and all.Â
He hangs back.Â
He... I mean, he is a jack-ass but he isn't gonna ruin this for Shoto.Â
...It's kinda cute.
Just about as cute as Fuyumi said it was.Â
Apparently, Shoto had opened up to her and Natsuo about his feelings after graduation â about how he regretted not doing anything about it. Fuyumi then told their mum, who then off-handedly mentioned it to Touya... and well Touya dug in because, duh, he is a whore for good gossip. He might be the family's black sheep, but Shoto is the glue that binds.Â
And he deserves to be happy.
Your co-teacher is ushering the kids to the next installation â a viewing of All Might's Legacy, a new documentary following the retired pro's teaching career. It will be a good wind down for them, in comfy seats and the dark. It's hardly the sort of content an elementary school student would find riveting, but it is All Might. And they love him.
You hang back.Â
Shoto's heart is hammering in his chest.
"Hey."
"Hi," you greet back, closing the door to the theater and stepping forward as you weave your arms around you, "Long time no see."
"Yea," Shoto breathes, his hands in his pockets as he meets you halfway across the museum's marble floors, "I... I see you're teaching."
His eyes are as pretty as they were back then. Slate grey and piercing turquoise. "I'm in my second year," you confirm softly, fiddling with the material of your sweater, "Congrats to your old man."
You gesture up at the statue, then wave around to the rest of the installation.
Shoto inhales, then nods; he's staring at your face, blissfully realizing you're just the way you were all those years ago. Kind. "I'll pass it along."
"How's he handling it?" you ask, your eyes raking across his expression and trying not to stick to the sharp slope of his jaw, or the bob of his Adam's apple, "Retirement, I mean."
"He's happy, I think. Touya and I are working together and... things are...  good."
Last month, Endeavor finally retired. He cited his age, and his dedication to passing his legacy to his two sons: Shoto and Touya. Shoto has planted himself firmly within the Top Ten in the last year or so, and shockingly, Touya isn't far behind. People love an underdog's redemption story, you suppose.Â
And the underdog in question can read a room.Â
This is getting a little too sexually tense for even him.
"Heeeeey, girl," he rasps out, staggering backward with a thumb over his shoulder, "Nice t' see ya. I'll let you two catch up, yea? I'm gonna go pop my head into the theater, see how the kids are handling the snooze fest on screenâ"
You jump.
How long has he even been there?
"Hi, Dâ Touya," you strain, wincing a little; the rehab'd villain doesn't seem to mind.
"Hi, teach'. That cool with you?" he asks, wobbling his thumb and quirking a pierced eyebrow; it's comical, like he's trying to disarm you with humor, "Don't want you thinkin' I'm corrupting your youthsâ"
"It's fine," you breathe, ignoring the sting of age-old mistrust. You know better. Shoto wouldn't be here, with him, if Touya Todoroki hadn't changed. Endeavor wouldn't be entrusting his legacy to the ex-League of Villain member if he didn't believe in his capacity for good, "Just don't be disruptive."
Casting judgment on someone whose life was nearly destroyed by his own non-conforming quirk would go against everything you taught the kids anyway.
"Touya's whole thing is being disruptive," Shoto grits as his oldest brother slips silently through the doors, "I apologize for himâ"
"No," you wave him off, laughing a little, "Don't. It's... nice to see you two together."
Shoto's expression is soft as he wanders a little closer. "It took time â and a lot of therapy â but we've all managed to come out the other side."
"That's great to hear, Shoto," you breathe, your eyes flitting across his face, "I'm really happy for you."
There's a long silence, then â and you can't help but ignore the roil of butterflies in your stomach. The eye contact is heavy with some unspoken thing, and both of your tongues are weighted by secrets-never-turned-confessions.Â
It's like finally this dance you've been doing around one another for years breaks â and the two of you throw caution to the wind at the exact same moment.Â
"Would you like toâ"
"Are you freeâ"
Hesitant, slow grins bloom on both your faces.
"Dinner?" is all he manages after a sweet moment of soaking up your soft smile, "If you're available...?"
You make yourself available.
Yaoyorozu almost dies when you call her that night â winded from tearing through your entire wardrobe. You explained you had nothing to wear a-and you needed something nice, and you only have an hour to get ready, because Todoroki â yes, stop screaming, Todoroki â is picking you up at 8pm.
Little bro is nervous. Touya can tell.Â
From his spot on the sofa, the white-haired ex-degenerate scoffs. Natsuo is digging around for some cufflinks in Shoto's dresser.
"Seriously, Sho'? AÂ suit?"Â
"It's a nice restaurant," his brother says tightly, adjusting the collar of the black button-down, "I booked the upstairs dining room for privacy."Â
"Who the hell told you t' do that?" Touya quirks a skeptical brow.
"Father was the one who suggested it."
"...That old dog."Â
Natsuo rolls his eyes at the exchange before throwing his hands as he emerges from the closet. "Do you have any links that aren't emblazoned with U.A. High School's crest?"
The ones in Natsuo's hands have his graduation year on them.
Shoto winces.
"Want me to ask dear ol' dog of a dad?" Touya snarks from the corner, his posture becoming less and less upright as he scrolls on his phone.
"Already did," comes the soft voice of Fuyumi; she's smiling, padding into Shoto's room with a velvet box, "He offered up his nicest pair. He also says not to screw it up with Insight. He likes her."
Of course, he likes her. You worked under Endeavor for a brief work-study period during your third year. Shoto remembers hearing grumbled praise over dinner one night about your talent for de-escalation.
"You told him who I was seeing?" Shoto asks incredulously, taking the box and working the cufflinks on. He's starting to feel exasperated.
Fuyumi nods, popping down beside Touya.Â
"He asked. I'm not gonna lie to him."
"Did y' tell ma?" Touya rasps, peeking up over his phone to inspect Shoto's outfit. Not half bad, honestly. He looks good in all black. A man after his own heart, "M'sure she's gonna be real excitedâ"
"Yes," Shoto grumbles, "I called her earlierâ"
"Chiba Prep is a really good school, y'know," Natsuo buts in as he tries to find a tie that matches Shoto's outfit. Ultimately, though, the middle brother decides against it and tosses the options over his shoulder, "They're, like, on the leading edge for quirk therapies."
"Hey, nerd? Quiet down. The big kids are gossiping," Touya shirks, turning back to Shoto, "What did mum say?"Â
"She wants me to call her afterâ"
"One, you're gonna call mum the morning after," Touya raises a finger, "Because if you don't get laid, I'll be so fuckin' disapâ"
Fuyumi slaps Touya's chest. He lets out a pained yelp at the solid smack.
"Uh, ow," he rubs his sternum. "An' two, take a deep breath. You look like you're gonna shit yourself. Those are my pants and they're expensive."
Shoto lets out a long breath.Â
Fuyumi's smile is sweet like honey. "Aw, Sho'! It's gonna go great. You two have known each other for such a long time, and catching up is going to be amazing. Just be yourself! Confident and kindâ"
"âHold the door open for her, and pull her chair out," Natsuo adds as he adjusts Shoto's collar for him, "Car door, tooâ"
It's Touya's turn. He's dead serious. "âAnd do not chicken out on kissing her at the end of the night. I swear to god."
Easier said than done.
You never did go pro.
Those years of hardened battle instincts have lost their edge. You try to remind yourself this is just Shoto, not The Shoto â but you're a little lost in the whole celebrity of it all when he picks you up in a very nice, sporty little car with ENDVRplates.Â
You answer the door and he forgets how to breathe.
He has flowers for you. They're blue and blooming and beautiful.Â
Fuyumi's contribution.Â
You settled then you were going to kiss him at the end of the night.
The restaurant is... nice. Really nice. The sort of nice you could never aspire to experience on your teacher's salary. Even the valet is a concept that has your head spinning. But, Shoto handles it all with cool ease. The entire time, his hand is settled on your lower back.Â
It feels like you've been lit on fire.
You're glad Momo was able to create a dress fitting for the occasion. It's sleek and black. Comfortable, too. Not much can be said for your heels on that front, but it's fine.Â
Somehow, Shoto managed to book the entire upper floor of this place in all its glimmering glory â it's just the two of you alone in a sea of tables.Â
The waiter is pouring you a glass of the chef's suggested pairing of sake.
You thank him, smile, and take a sip as Shoto unbuttons his suit jacket and watches you.Â
For a second, you're seventeen again.
Sero and Kirishima were always in cahoots when it came to parties back then â somehow, between the two of them, they always managed to smuggle enough booze onto campus to obliterate any semblance of promised sobriety from even the most stoic members of 1-A.Â
You remember one night, after a lot of hounding, you finally gave in and joined a few of your classmates on the back lawn for a few drinks.Â
A few beers turned into a cup or two of wine, and then another big gulp of whatever deranged jungle juice concoction Kaminiari managed to cook up. It tasted terrible, but you were too drunk to really care. Shoto was no better. He was nursing his fourth drink of the night â a rarity he was even drinking at all â and seemed completely fine with the way your arms brushed as the two of you sat close in the grass.Â
He was always so nervous around you. Now, he just seemed... happy.Â
"I can't believe there is only one week left until graduation."
Graduation day was the last time you saw him.Â
Until this morning, that is.Â
You smile into your drink.Â
"What?" you ask when his eyes never leave your face.
His fingers twitch towards his own glass. Shoto blinks, then rolls his jaw. He was caught staring. He clears his throat, looking a bit shy. "Nothing."
"Nothing?" you press playfully, cocking your head to the side.
"You..." he starts, then bawks. You're stunning, and it's making it hard to even think straight. He thought these feelings might have mellowed out over the years but seeing you again has just reignited everything. He feels like a hormonal teenager again, "You look beautiful."
Your expression falters into something lovesick. You chew your lip. "You're not so bad yourself, Todoroki."
He manages a half-smile. "Touya had me worried the suit was a bit much."
The idea of Touya offering him advice on his outfit strikes a chord in your heart. It makes you smile even bigger than before. "Well, you can tell Touya that I like it. A lot."
You rake your eyes up and down him. On purpose.
He notices.
Shoto's face feels hot.Â
He tries to shake the bone-deep want that has swept his entire body up in its grip, but it's difficult when every single word out of your mouth reminds him just how in love he was with you back in school. You explain, excitedly, why you chose to teach at Chiba Prefectural Prep and catch him up on where you've been living since graduating. He's pleased to learn you're still in the area, living in the city, and decidedly in love with the commute to the school.Â
Shoto's always been a good listener â but you can see how much he's changed when he begins to speak about his career. He seems so much more sure of himself than he was all those years ago. It wasn't that he was... unsure... but, no. He was shy. Quiet.
Now, less so.Â
It's adorable.Â
Dinner comes and goes with conversation over sushi that is far too good for you to even process. It's easy talking to him. It was easy talking to Shoto back, then, too but... Things are different. You're both different. Not in a bad way, but in a way that feels like coming home.Â
While you both wait outside for the valet, Shoto shrugs his jacket off and puts it over your shoulders without a single word. Suddenly, you're cradled in a warmth that's very Shoto â his cologne clings to the collar and you bury yourself a little deeper into it.Â
Shyly, you step closer and steal his hand. It's calloused and warm. He laced his fingers with yours as if practiced. You bite back a grin. You give his hand a little squeeze when you spot the car coming around the corner.
His silence is calming â and he squeezes your hand back. When you look up at him, you realize he's already looking at you.Â
His face is close. It's so... intimate. Very. Nearly better than a kiss.Â
But, you've wanted to kiss Shoto Todoroki since you were seventeen.Â
The valet driver interrupts the moment with a respectful call of Shoto's name and offers the keys with a shake of the hand. With a little bit of hesitancy, Shoto remembers the thing Natsuo said â the car door, too â and moves around the passenger side to open the door for you.Â
It's sweet.
Really sweet.Â
The car ride back to your apartment is punctuated with easy conversation â you ask him about Bakugo and Midorya, and you're pleased to hear they're both doing well. He asks about Momo, and if you still keep in touch with Mina and Ochaco. He smiles to himself when you admit you did call Momo for help with an outfit.Â
"She did a beautiful job," Shoto breathes, a palm moving from the gear shift to brush over the dress' fabric on your thigh.
His hand settles there.Â
Your stomach does a flip.Â
You chew your lip, swallow down a sudden burst of nerves, and let your hand rest over his. You squeeze it. Shoto tries to focus on the road. His gaze drifts for a moment at a red light, his heterochromatic eyes dancing across your figure.Â
Keep it together.Â
He isn't seventeen.
He's twenty-five. He's a Professional Hero. One of the Top Ten in all of Japan. He's more than capable of keeping it together in the face of physical touch from the woman he's dreamed about for years.Â
...Right?
Green light.
His hand is still on your thigh when he pulls up to your apartment.Â
The touch is relinquished in favor of putting the sports car in park.Â
It makes your chest ache.
Shoto swallows thickly.
Do not chicken out on kissing her at the end of the night.
He'll never forgive himself. But, admittedly, he's bad at this. He's not good at reading body language, or even knowing himself enough to realize he looks mildly terrified as you blink up at him in the passenger's seat. His heart is hammering a mile a minute.
What if you don't want to kiss him?
When would he even kiss you? Now? Or at the door?
Why does he feel like he's going to die?
"This was really... Shoto, are you okay?" you ask as you unbuckle your seatbelt; you pause, your brows knitting tightly.Â
"What?" he asks, blinking back to the present moment. The look of fear disappears, "Sorry. Yes. I'm fine."
You're working his jacket off your shoulders, gently leaning to fold it neatly in your lap. Your voice dips low, into something playful. "You didn't look fine..."
"Iâ" Shoto clamps his mouth shut as he leans an elbow on the center console, "Sorry. I suppose I'm just nervous."
"Nervous?" you grin, a little giggle punctuating your words as you wriggle in the red, leather seat, "Why?"
Your expression makes his expression crack. He ducks his head as he huffs out a laugh. You continue to egg him on via expression alone. "I... Stop it."
"Stop what?" you push some more, your back pressed to the door as you face him in the car, "You're the one being weirdâ"
"I'm not being weirdâ"
"Then what's wrong, Shoto?" you tease in a sing-song voice.
"I'm nervous because I want to kiss you."
His words are punctuated by a slow look that takes in every inch of your face. Butterfly wings kiss your stomach walls. And your knees. You feel a little tremble in your chest.Â
It feels like someone has sucker punched you square in the sternum. Shoto's no better. He isn't entirely sure what the expression on your face means. Is that... good? Are you happy?
Your voice is a little quieter now. You duck your head and fiddle with his suit jacket as you lean back against the seat, a little closer now.Â
"You don't need to be."
Shoto's breath catches at that.
So, he makes his move.
His hand comes first â his calloused palm settles nicely against your face, his thumb brushing your cheekbone as his pointer finger brushes the underside of your jaw. Shoto is slow. Methodical. It's like he's trying to ground himself in the moment.Â
Truth be told, he thinks he might be blacking out.
Your eyes flit up his wrist â a dark leather band around his wrist with an expensive watch face, a dark dress shirt with glimmering cufflinks, strong arms and a broad chest, and you can see the dip of his collarbone where the top two buttons of his shirt remain undone.Â
He looks so damn handsome with his sharp jaw, pretty eyes, and his trademark white and crimson hair. Even his scar is beautiful.Â
The touch pulls you in like he's got his own personal orbit. Â
Your elbows are braced along the center console, your eyes flicking across his face as his fingers continue to brush along the soft expanse of your cheek. You wring your fingers together.Â
Then, his eyes stick to your lips.
"Can I kiss you?" he whispers, his breath fanning across your face.Â
You never did go pro.
But, Shoto did.Â
It shows.Â
Because, at this moment, all you can do is nod feebly before you're swept into the sort of kiss people go to war for. It's the sort of kiss that sticks to your ribs, that feels like warm, fresh food. It's the sort of kiss that would drive you to the brink, that would make you nod and agree sure, let's get married and have three kids, let's name one after your father, and paint the house blue like your mother's favorite flowerâ
His mouth is eager, but not in an overbearing way. It's gentle. Slow. As if he needs to remind himself this is real and not some midnight fiction that leaves him aching and alone. Shoto reminds himself to be tepid, pliable, and easy, which is easier said than done when somewhere deep inside of him there's a seventeen-year-old screaming in victory.Â
It's better than anything he could have ever imagined.Â
And then you whimper.Â
It's a sound tied between bliss and relief and it's muttered against his mouth as you lean in and let your fingers brush the fabric of his dress shirt. The tips of your fingers brush his abdomen and he flexes, the feeling foreign and warm. It warrants his other hand to drift to your face and you break for a breath; he doesn't care that there's lipstick smeared across his mouth. He's kissing you again â this time a little bit more feverish, a little bit more aching.Â
You melt against him, this time your hands trembling to grip his wrists.
He needs to slow down.
He is not having sex with you in his father's car.
That's shameless.
He needs to slow down.
He has to, or he'll lose himself in this and he refuses to fuck this up.Â
Shoto's breath is ragged when he finally peels himself away, his lip parted and eyes half-lidded. His grip on your face is still so soft, so gentle. It's very him.Â
You're glad you didn't do this when you were seventeen.
It would have permanently altered your brain chemistry, you're sure of it. How could you ever kiss someone else again after that?Â
He's rubbing your cheek with his thumb. You swallow, and try to level out your breathing. It's hard when he's still so close, when he's so... perfect.Â
"I've wanted to do that," he murmurs against your cheek, "Since our last year at Yuei."
A well-kissed smile breaks across your face. You reel back, your nose wrinkling as you shake your head in disbelief. Shoto is smiling. A real smile. The sort that's so rare you can count on one hand the amount of times you've ever seen it in person.Â
"Are you serious?"
"Very," he says, chastely pressing another to your other cheek as he leans back.
"Me too," you admit shyly, "Can we... do it again sometime?"
Shoto's eyes widen incrementally. Then, his smile eases back onto his face.Â
"Are you free this weekend?"
"I can be," you reply easily with a honeyed look, "And I will be. For you."
"I get off patrol on Saturday around seven," he explains before asking timidly, "We could... do dinner again?"
"Works for me," you breathe as you move for the handle of the car door, "After all, I never went Pro. Weekends are free."
Shoto scoffs.Â
Then, as you open the door and swing a leg out:
"Oh, and tell Touya I thought the suit sexy."
Shoto's laugh is dry. You leave his jacket on the seat and scurry into your apartment with a lovesick wave. He swears he sees the silhouette of a familiar ponytail greet you at the door, but he doesn't dwell on it. He waits until you're inside and the lights to the front door are shut off.
Then it hits him. He has another date with you this weekend.Â
Not so seventeen anymore, Shoto Todoroki.Â
#todoroki x reader#shoto todoroki x reader#shoto todoroki x you#shoto todoroki imagine#mha imagine#bnha imagine#shoto x reader#shoto x y/n#touya todoroki#i LOOOOVE HERO TOUYA#HE IS SOOOOOO CUNTY
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a/n: this has been sitting half-written on my pc for i don't even know how many months (tbh at least half a year. i was living somewhere else when i started it wow). finally took a deep breath and finished it (though with an ending that kinda flies by a bit because just wanted it to get done. i was scared that the story would never see the light of day, so zooming through the ending was a better option)
summary:Â a nervous breath then escaped his lungs before he uttered, âyou do know what kind of massage this is, right?â to which you only blinked back at him all the same, none of your shock evaporation at his words, âyou know that Iâm here to give you more than just a regular massage?â
warnings: massage therapist!bucky barnes x reader, smut, sex worker!bucky, bucky doesn't have the metal arm in this one, thinking that your friend just signed you up for a normal massage but then it turns out to be an erotic one, kissing, dirty talk, manhandling, fingering, toys, multiple orgasms, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, anal, double penetration
word count: 4000
âź gentle reminder that feedback, but especially reblogs are the way you support writers on here â˝
masterlist |Â join my taglist
With a hand tangled up in one of the ties of the robe you wore, you answered your front door after finally hearing the bells chime.
âHi,â a soft smile swiftly warmed up the features of the man standing on the other side of the threshold, âare you miss Y/l/n?â
âYeah, I am,â a tingle of nerves flickered through your body as your gaze washed over him, âyou must be the masseuse.â
Why did he have to be so attractive? If it was this difficult to remember to breathe when he was standing completely out of your reach, then how were you going to survive a guy such as him touching you?
Following your gaze down to the folded-up table he carried, he nodded, âguilty,â before setting down the duffle bag he clutched in his other hand and extended it for you to grasp, âmy name is Bucky.â
âBucky,â you briefly shook it, ânice to meet you.â
âYou too,â the touch faded, and he bent down to pick the supplies back up, âso, where should I set up?â
âOh, in here, in the living room,â you gestured behind you and shifted to the side for him to enter. As he set up everything, you stayed at the perimeter and felt your heartbeat thump behind your ribcage, âis it weird that Iâm a bit nervous?â you then quietly asked.
Briefly pausing his actions as he unfurled the massage table, he cast a glance your way.
âItâs not weird at all, itâs okay,â he stated in a calm tone, âbut I assure you, this is a completely safe space, youâre in good hands.â
âI justâ, this wasnât exactly my idea, or even at all,â your hands fiddle further with the terrycloth tie around your waist as you began to ramble, âNat, my friend, she told me that I needed to relax, so she booked this appointment for me as a treat. I donât even know what it is she signed me up for, if it was just like a little five-minute long thing or what.â
âOh no, she signed you up for the full package, 90 minutes.âÂ
âReally?â your eyebrows rose, âwow, thatâs amazing.â
Once the table was set up and he rummaged through the bag for a towel as well as other supplies, his low timbre filled the room once more.
âSo, before we start, Iâd just like to ask if thereâs anything off limits to you, anything you donât like or that youâre not interested in? Or perhaps something in particular youâd like today?â
âUh, I donât think so,â your eyes narrowed slightly as you thought, quickly scanning through your body to get a good sense, âyou can just be as rough with me as you want.â
âAlright, you like it rough, good to know,â you felt yourself suck in a silent breath at the way the phrase fell from his lips, âyou ready to begin?â
âYep,â you swallowed, hoping he didnât notice how flustered he seemed to make you.Â
He then lifted up the ivory sheets heâd sprawled out on the plush bench and held it up high, giving you a smidge of privacy as you dropped your robe to a nearby armchair, before laying down on the table and feeling the cotton drape over you.Â
As you layed there on your stomach with your face comfortably nestled in the little nook, you sensed Bucky adjust the fabric, folding it down so that your entire back was exposed.Â
A dull click found your ears as he pumped some oil into his palm. The very first touch conjured a brisk breath to fill your lungs as his hands slid along your spine, spreading the slickness around.Â
Though when you finally managed to force yourself to relax into his touch, a soft moan slipped from your lips as his meticulous grip found a muscle particularly sore.
âSorry,â you timidly apologized for the sound.Â
But he simply zeroed in on the very spot that had made you groan and said, âdonât apologize, whatever bubbles up, please let it out.â
Your lips stayed half parted as his touch dug deeper, âit just feels really good right there...â
âYeah, you seem to be holding a lot of tension in your back, especially right here between your shoulder blades.â
âProbably all the time on the couch,â you let out a pitiful chuckle, âI just kept on getting into uncomfortable positions and then stayed like that. Which, funnily enough, is pretty symbolic of how I ended up there in the first place, stuffing my face with Ben and Jerryâs and binging the most depressing of romcoms.â
âBad breakup?â he guessed.Â
âI donât think you can call it a break-up if you never really were together in the first place,â you let out a sigh. Yet again had you fallen for a guy whoâd turned out to be a complete and utter asshole, âmen are just pigs,â you spat out, âno offence.â
âOh, none taken,â he uttered, âyou know, itâs actually very common for people to get this particular treatment after something like that.â
âReally? Your touch is on the same level as bawling your eyes out to Joni Mitchell?â you jested, âwell, now Iâm really happy that I let my friend talk me into this.â
Soon, when his touch had kneaded every inch of your back, it faded away and reappeared lower on your frame as you then felt him fold the sheet up to expose your legs, letting the thin fabric only drape across and cover the curve of your bottom.Â
Once his touch had soothingly wandered up the length of your legs and as his broad palms dented your slightly parted thighs, you nearly didnât notice through the trance-like state youâd drifted off to when his reach crept close enough to your core to feel the heat radiating off it. A gasp parted your lips as his fingers briefly ghosted against the very outside of your puff before retreating back down your thigh.Â
âIs it alright if remove this for a bit?â he then asked as you felt his hand clutch the sliver of modesty that remained.Â
âOh, uhm,â you fought to comprehend his question through the haze youâd slipped into, both the haze of relaxation, though maybe more predominately the haze of sin, which was most likely what had swayed you to utter, âsure,â trying your best to stay calm as he removed the sheet completely.Â
It became a difficult task to keep your quiet noises at bay and have them not seep through your heavy breath as he then began to massage the soft peak of your butt.Â
You tried to remind yourself that it was the biggest muscle on the human body and thereby completely normal to be treated in this manner, but that truth would have been easier to swallow if it had been a less attractive specimen touching you in such a way.Â
Eventually, Buckyâs lavish rubs came to spread you apart with each repetitive motion, surely granting himself a perfect view of just how mortifyingly wet youâd become.Â
As he let his broad thumbs dig into your sitting points, you told yourself it was the slipperiness of the oil that caused his fingers to sweep closer to your core and not your own nectar that had leaked down towards his touch.Â
It felt so good that your hips unconsciously tilted up and into his touch, as his thumbs slid close enough to caress your outer lips, nearly capturing them in a gentle pinch.Â
You didnât know how long it took, how long you essentially grinded into him as if you were in heat, but eventually, you snapped out of your fog and realized just where his fingers were.Â
âU-uh⌠w-what are you doing?â your frame jumped slightly at the realization.
âDo you not like this?â his touch paused, though didnât retreat.Â
âWhyâ, uhmâŚâ you nearly panted, âyouâre just very close to somewhere else.â
And when he simply uttered, âyeah, I know,â in an almost amused and cocky tone. You swiftly propped yourself up onto your arms and glared back at him, successfully prompting him to rip his hands away.
Snatching the sheet back over your frame as you scrambled to a seat, you stared back at him in utter shock, âIâm sorry, but are you actually trying to sleep with me right now?â
His brows furrowed slightly as he blinked back at you, seemingly confused at your outburst, âIâm just doing my job.â
âIâve had massages before, that was notâ⌠that right there was something else. That was not you doing your job, that was your hands being persuaded by your dick.â
A nervous breath then escaped his lungs before he uttered, âyou do know what kind of massage this is, right?â to which you only blinked back at him all the same, none of your shock evaporation at his words, âyou know that Iâm here to give you more than just a regular massage?â
âWhat do you mean?â
âOh boy, Iâm sorry, I thought you knewâŚâ his glance fell to the floor as he then began to enlighten, âwell, the lotus wellness center, where I work, specializes in the blend of not just physical and mental health, but also sexual health and satisfaction. An erotic massage, like the one you were signed up for, is one of the many services we offer.â
Your eyes had grown as wide as saucers during his explanation, âo-ohâŚâ
âI totally understand if you wanna stop, if youâre not interested.â
âIââŚâ you tried to make heads or tails of the situation you found yourself in, âso you were gonnaâ, what? Fuck me?â
âI was gonna try and make you feel good, help you relax and unwind. You were signed up for the aurelia treatment which would involve me using my hands to pleasure you, as well as whatever toys you might be interested in.â
âToys?â
âYes, I have a generous collection with me,â he briefly gestured back to the duffle bag resting on the couch.Â
âOkay, uhmâŚâ one of your palms came down to brush over your features as you fought to comprehend it all.
âDo you want me to pack up and go?â you heard him ask.Â
Slowly, ever so slowly, before you even realized it was moving, you shook your head. Letting your gaze flutter back up to find his, you exhaled lowly, âfuckâŚâ
âI can also just give you a completely traditional massage if thatâs what you want.â
ââŚand if I wanna try the other thing?â you nearly whispered.Â
âDo you?â Â
âIââŚâ you tried to speak, though couldnât find the words and ended up just hazily nodding back at him.Â
âAlright,â he gently mirrored the nod that still faintly rocked your head, âI wonât do anything youâre not comfortable with, I promise. You just say the word, okay?â
âOkay,â you breathed, shivering slightly at the tingle of goosebumps that spread across your flesh.Â
The way he held your gaze a moment longer before shifting it to the massage table you still sat upon made you feel as if you might melt off it entirely.
âLay back down,â he faintly nodded to the bench.Â
Your eyes stayed glued on him long after you now layed sprawled out on your back.Â
Letting his touch graze the sheet you still absentmindedly clutched to your chest, he asked, âdo you wanna keep this on?â
âNo,â you shook your head faintly, âyou can remove it.â
âOkay,â he gently peeled the fabric off of you, âjust say if you get cold, alright?â
âMhm,â you hummed, still having a hard time wrapping your head around the fantasy you found yourself in.Â
He began by working at your arms, tenderly spreading some oil across them and massaging down the length of them, one at a time, till his skilful fingers descended to work at your palms. It nearly felt as if he was merely holding your hand before he tossed you into the deep end with how intimate the simple beginning sensed.Â
You couldnât command your gaze to leave his visage as you traced his every move as if he was made of stardust.Â
When his warmth let go of your hand, he reached for the bottle of oil that didnât have a pump and unscrewed the top. Your bottom lip got caught by your teeth as he then poured a bit out over your stomach, curving the s-waves of droplets all the way up and across your boobs, dripping over your pebbly nipples as they stared back at him.Â
As Bucky began to rub it in, he first stared softly down at your belly before swooping up, only to skip over your tits entirely and instead yanking a disappointed whimper from your lungs as he then commenced massaging your shoulders.Â
You felt a bit lightheaded as you blinked up at him, all tall and broad, looming above your head and digging his warm touch into the base of your neck.Â
Though when his rough palms finally did swoop down to caress your soft peaks, he quietly checked in, âthis okay?â to which you simply nodded your head, eyebrows knitting together at the intenseness of the built-up anticipation.
Your entire chest cage heaved beneath his touch as he finally massaged your boobs, even occasionally fleeting away to ghost across your nipples, only to capture them in a pinch the next moment.Â
You felt as if you were floating down a calm stream, letting the river of sin take you somewhere new and wonderful.Â
Eventually, his broad palms swept up and down your form, though each time his reach dared to near your core, he barely touched you at all, missing entirely the spots that throbbed for attention, which of course only caused the sensation to deepen and render you even more desperate from his teasing.Â
When he then shifted to stand to the side of the patted table, his deep voice washed over you once more as his touch stayed warm against your skin.
âEverything okay so far?â
âYeahâŚâ you hummed as you lazily blinked up at him, and the soft smile that curved your lips caused a similar one to bloom upon his own.Â
His slow stride then carried him further down till his fingers began to dent the softness of your thighs.Â
After heâd made your eyes flutter at the way he worked at the muscles in your legs, focusing on one thigh at a time, slowing working his way up till his fingertips stretched to dizzily brush against your outermost petals, it was then, that his sweeps grew and blossomed till one fleeting tease to your centre morphed into more as he kept coming back, each fluttering time slowly transforming till the maddening pets had become everything youâd dreamed of.
Soft whimpers flowed out of your lungs as he gently folded each of your legs up by your sides and cracked you wide open for him. Â
As he gazed down at you with such intensity youâd never experienced before, it only took one step for him to change his angle and stand tall next to your hips.Â
Letting his palms run up your inner thighs, the edges of each of his broad thumbs then met and joined on either side of your pussy as he captured it in a light pinch, making you moan softly, âfuckâŚ.â as his touch rolled your clit through your glistening puff.Â
You nearly didnât catch it because of how hard your own pants were, but Buckyâs own breaths had picked up as well and with a few stray curses seeping through his teeth as he continued to pluck at the strings of your pleasure.Â
But then, before you could truly lose yourself to the ecstasy you felt flicking in your periphery, his hands slipped away, a smirk fast on his lips as a whine escaped you and he returned his attention to the rest of your body. Though thankfully, his torture only carried on a short moment before he finally granted you the first of many treats.
âOh, yeah,â you couldnât help but moan as he rubbed your clit and carried you over the peak.Â
âRight there?â he leaned down closer to you as he kept up his pace, his free hand coming to rest right beside your head as he loomed over you.Â
âYeah,â you breathlessly panted as your body trembled beneath his touch.Â
âYeah?â he huskily echoed, nearly sharing your breath as he drew out your orgasm for as long as he could, and even as your body began to squirm at the sensitivity that swiftly set in, his touch never left you, only lightened to make it bearable and tickle you back from the high.Â
He studied your features fiercely as his fingers then came down to tease your entrance.Â
âHow about this?â your leaky hole swallowed up the two digits he swiftly filled it with, âhowâs that? Is that what you want?â
âOh fuck!â your back briefly arched and lifted you off the table, closer to him for but a moment as sloppy sounds of your want echoed at the slow rhythm he played you at.Â
âOr do you need a little more maybe?â he sneaked another finger inside, âhuh?â his frame then bent down till you could feel his hot breath fan across your face, âwhat do you want? You want something more to make you feel good right here?â his fingers slid back out of your pussy and fluttered up till they found your puffy pearl, âor here?â he briefly soared back down to plug up your cunt once more, but only offered you one messily rock before his digits slipped back out and drifted down much further than you expected, âor maybe even here?â you let out a gasp as the slick pads of his fingers glided over your little rosebud.Â
âIâ, Iâ,â you struggled to answer him, feeling so foggy that you might just fall off the table, âfuckâŚâÂ
âI have any toy you could dream of with me,â he purred as your grip found his shirt for support, âso, what do you want?â
âI wantâ, I wantââ
âWhat?â he pushed as he continued to stare down into your eyes.Â
And as blinked back at him, only one wish came to mind, one that you timidly whispered, ây-youâŚâ
But as fear began to prickle at your nerves, they all dissipated as the masseuse wasnât offended at all, your words somehow conjuring a dazzled smile to appear upon his lip before he then chuckled warmly, âroll over for me.â
You nearly gave yourself whiplash from the hast you tried to fulfil his command.        Â
As he soon kneeled down to be on level with where your head was now twisted and resting on its side, his hand drifted up for you to spot the dildo clutched in his grasp.Â
Handing it off to your flicking fingers, his touch briefly lingered on your cheek, stroking it softly as he said, âthen pretend this is me, will you? Get it nice and sloppy for me.â
When you began to plant pecks across the silicon, your eyes shadowed him as far as they could as he straightened back up and walked back far enough to disappear from your sight, only for you to know where heâd gone to once you felt his mouth begin to devour you whole.Â
It became difficult to concentrate on the task heâd given you, so much so that he had to remind you each time his lavish tongue buried between your legs caused your own to forget itself.Â
Arching your ass further up towards his efforts, he tilted away from your drooling cunt and instead nipped up till he lapped against your other hole.Â
âOh, that feels really good,â you moaned around the dildo as you tried to catch a glimpse of him, though only saw the edge of one of his hands and they dented your bottom.Â
âYeah?â he let a dollop of spit drop to your rosebud before he nudged the pad of a thumb against it, âyou like having this little hole played with?â
âUh-huh,â you nodded, then watched as he momentarily dipped away to snatch up a butt plug from the zipped-open treasure trove his bag was.Â
Once the toy was snugly buried within your little ass, he snatched the dildo out of your mouth and a string of your drool chased the silicone as he brought it back to tap against the sloppy petals of your pussy.Â
It didnât take very long after heâd begun to fuck you with the toy that you tumbled over the edge once more, making you that much more malleable when he yanked at your legs and manhandled you down to the bottom of the bench till your unsteady feet were once again on the floor and he had you bent over the table like a needy whore.Â
That was also when your weak pleas began to bubble out, begging for him to fill you up with something other than a toy.Â
Even though you couldnât see his face, you swore you heard a tinge of astonishment in his tone when he asked you to clarify, making sure it really was him that had you begging and not just the way he made you feel.Â
Though once you finally managed to convey the sincerity of your words and convince him of the way he and not just the acts he was performing, drove you wild, it was in the middle of chasing your next high that he broke his pattern and traded out the dildo with his own hard cock.Â
A low moan seeped across your spine as he buried his length completely and let himself melt down against your back. Letting himself savour the sweetness of your warmth clenching around his fat girth, it took him a while before he finally began to move and soon found a steady pace that had your toes curling against the floorboards.Â
His fingers gently dug into the soreness still remaining all down your back as his hips repeatedly collided with the plush of your ass in desperate thrusts. Though as his digits worked their way down the length of your spine, they eventually found the little plug that still remained in your ass.Â
Teasingly twisting the toy, you thought that was everything he had planned, though all of those fantasies fluttered away when he suddenly yanked the small plug out and switched it with the bigger toy still firm in his grasp, your little hole only managing to wink up at him before he stuffed it full once more.Â
You lost track of the amount of times he made you cum as the remainder of the intense dance became a bit of a blur. At one point he had you flipped around and lying on your back, gasping up at him as he folded you in half and nearly broke the massage table beneath you from how hard his deep strokes were. At the next, the dildo he drove you mad with was traded out with his own fat cock and he conjured a vibrating wand to hold against your puffy clit as he watched your pussy leak from the bliss. But at the end, once you were nothing more than a puddle on the table, his load painted against your tits as he let his frame drape down atop of yours, a hazy question left your lips.
âIs that usually how that goes?â you asked as you both panted, plastered against one another.Â
Raising himself up only enough for his eye to catch your own, he uttered sincerely, ânoâŚâ and his gaze flickered down towards your lips, âno, it is not���â before he let himself give you the thing you hadnât dared to request. The kiss was so sweet it nearly caused you to forget the sinful acts youâd just wrapped up.
Š 2024 thyme-in-a-bubbleÂ
#leaâs writing#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes smut#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x f!reader#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes x fem!reader#bucky barnes fic#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes hc#bucky x reader#sebastian stan smut#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky barnes au#bucky barnes oneshot#winter soldier smut#massage therapist!bucky barnes#sex worker!bucky barnes
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Couples Therapy
Lando Norris x Reader
Summary: letâs go to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to realize we donât know each other
You fidget nervously in the waiting room chair, tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear. This has to be the most ridiculous first date idea ever âŚbut then again, Lando was never one for convention.
The office door swings open and a smiling middle-aged woman in a cardigan beckons you both inside. âY/N? Lando? Iâm Dr. Ramanujan, please come in.â
Lando shoots you a mischievous grin and you canât help but return it as you follow the therapist into her office. This is already off to a delightfully silly start.
âSo,â Dr. Ramanujan settles into her chair, notepad at the ready. âWhat brings you two in today?â
You open your mouth but Lando beats you to it. âWell doc, itâs like this â Y/N and I have been together for five years now but things have gotten ⌠sticky, you might say.â
You fight back a surprised laugh at his casual lie. Five years? You met this lunatic ten days ago.
Nodding solemnly, you play along. âYes, unfortunately some issues have arisen that we havenât been able to resolve on our own.â
âI see,â the therapist jots something down. âAnd what would you say is the primary issue troubling your relationship?â
Lando strokes his chin in mock contemplation. âYou know, now that I think about it, we really struggle with intimacy.â
You splutter, cheeks flushing red. He did not just go there on a first date!
âWeâre very passionate people,â he continues effortlessly. âBut I think we both have some hang-ups that stop us from really connecting, you know?â
Clearing your throat, you decide to steer into the skid. âYes, you could say Lando is quite ⌠insatiable in that area.â
Dr. Ramanujanâs eyebrows shoot up but she simply nods. âI see, I see. And how does that make you feel, Y/N?â
âHonestly?â You shrug helplessly. âExhausted. The man is completely relentless â itâs like heâs an animal sometimes!â
Lando clutches his chest in feigned offense. âAn animal? Thatâs a bit much, donât you think darling?â
âDonât you âdarlingâ me,â you snap, pushing aside your amusement at the increasingly absurd situation. âIâm just calling it like I see it. Weâre here for honesty, right?â
âTouchĂŠ,â Lando turns back to the therapist. âDoc, maybe you could help us find ⌠a compromise of sorts? Because my needs are evidently not being met.â
You scoff loudly. âNot being met? Lando, I let you do that thing with the-â
Mercifully, Dr. Ramanujan interjects before you can continue that train of thought. âPerhaps we could steer our discussion in a more productive direction? Intimacy issues often stem from deeper underlying problems within a relationship. Is there anything else concerning you both?â
Lando ponders this for a moment before snapping his fingers. âYou know what? I think a big part of it is that Y/N doesnât trust me.â
âI donât trust you?â You echo incredulously. âThatâs rich coming from you, Mr. I Flirt With My Teammate Constantly!â
His jaw drops perfectly. âYouâre bringing Oscar into this? Thatâs a low blow, babe.â
âIâm not blind!â You shoot back, doing your best to ignore how silly you both must look. âI see how cozy you two get. Tell me thereâs nothing there and Iâm a fool!â
âWoah, woah!â Lando holds up his hands defensively. âOscar and I are just good friends and teammates. Nothing more.â
You cross your arms stubbornly. âIf you say so.â
An uncomfortable silence falls over the room. Dr. Ramanujan seems perplexed by your crazy banter.
Finally, she clears her throat. âRight. Well, it sounds like there are some potential trust issues at play here that we should unpack-â
âOh Iâll unpack it for you, doc!â Lando interjects, real passion entering his voice now. âY/N is massively, astronomically insecure about our relationship. She questions my faithfulness at every turn!â
You swivel to face him fully, eyes wide. âAnd why, pray tell, would I possibly be insecure about that?â
âI donât know!â He throws his hands up in exasperation. âIâve never given you a single real reason to doubt me!â
âExcept for all the pet names and inappropriate touching with Oscar!â
âThose are just friendly gestures!â
âKeep telling yourself that, buddy!â
The two of you are practically shouting at each other now, completely absorbed in your make-believe argument. Somewhere in the back of your mind you feel a bit bad for putting the poor therapist through this, but youâre having far too much fun to stop.
Dr. Ramanujan finally cuts in, raising her palms. âOkay! Okay, letâs all just take a breath, shall we?â
You and Lando freeze mid-rant, remembering where you are. He shoots you a conspiratorial wink and you have to bite your lip to suppress a smile.
âNow,â the therapist continues once the tension has diffused slightly. âClearly there are some deep-seated resentments and triggers being hit here that we need to unravel. But I think a lot of it comes back to the intimacy and trust issues we were discussing earlier. Y/N, would you say you feel emotionally fulfilled by Lando?â
You ponder this for a moment, drawing out the suspense. Lando watches you with bated breath.
Finally, you sigh deeply. âNo doc, I canât say that I do. And maybe thatâs why Iâve been so tempted to stray myself ...â
Landoâs jaw drops perfectly again. âYouâve been tempted to cheat? With who?â
Holding his gaze boldly, you declare: âMy yoga instructor, actually.â
âShane?â He looks like you just slapped him. âBut heâs so ⌠so bland!â
You shrug nonchalantly. âWhat can I say? Opposites attract sometimes.â
Dr. Ramanujan looks like sheâs watching a tennis match, unable to get a word in edgewise.
Lando points an accusatory finger at you. âThis is unbelievable! You had the audacity to blame me for the intimacy issues earlier when all this time youâve been lusting after another man?â
âIâm a woman of insatiable needs!â You cry, borrowing his phrasing from earlier. âYou said it yourself!â
âI didnât mean it like that!â He turns desperately back to the therapist. âPlease doc, you have to help us!â
She blinks owlishly a few times before finding her voice. âI ⌠Iâm not sure I can be of much assistance here.â
Lando clutches at his chest dramatically. âNo, donât say that! Our relationship is hanging by a thread as it is.â
âIf itâs even still a relationship,â you mumble darkly, inspecting your nails with affected nonchalance.
âYou see?â Lando pleads with the doctor. âThis is what Iâm dealing with every day! The constant barbs and lack of trust! Iâm at my witâs end.â
Dr. Ramanujanâs eyes dart between the two of you, seeming to deflate a little more after each deranged declaration. She sets her notepad aside with a resigned sigh.
âListen, you two ...â she begins carefully. âWhile I appreciate you being upfront about your ...â she pauses, clearly searching for the right word, âunique situation, Iâm afraid it goes well beyond my abilities as a therapist.â
You simply blink at her innocently while Lando dissolves into feigned hysterics beside you.
âBut you have to help us!â He cries, flinging himself backwards dramatically. âOur relationship is the only thing I have left!â
You canât help but let out a small giggle at his antics, quickly disguising it as a cough when the therapist shoots you a look. Dr. Ramanujan just shakes her head slowly.
âIâm sorry, but I clearly donât have the tools or expertise to assist with ⌠whatever this is.â She gestures vaguely between the two of you. âMy advice would be to seek a different form of counseling. Or perhaps ⌠separate for a while until you both figure out what you want.â
Lando clutches at his chest, feigning heartbreak. âSeparate? Doc, you canât be serious!â
âIâm afraid I am,â Dr. Ramanujan states firmly, rising from her chair. âThis session has become ⌠unproductive, to put it mildly. I think we should call it a day.â
You open your mouth to protest staying in character, but the defeated look on the poor therapistâs face gives you pause. With a sidelong glance at Lando, you decide to put her out of her misery.
Rising from your own seat, you loop your arm through Landoâs and favor the bewildered doctor with your most winning smile.
âYouâre probably right, doc. Weâll, uh, take some time and really think things over. Thanks for your ⌠insight today.â
Dr. Ramanujan simply nods, seemingly too drained to even reply as she opens the door and gestures you both through.
The second youâre out in the hallway, you canât contain your laughter anymore. You dissolve into a fit of giggles, doubling over and clutching at Landoâs arm for support. He joins in instantly, that mischievous grin stretched wide across his face.
âOh my god,â you gasp between peals of laughter. âDid you see her face when I brought Oscar into it?â
âI thought she was going to kick us out then and there!â Lando howls, wiping away a mirthful tear. âThe things we put that poor woman through ...â
You finally manage to regain your composure, still grinning madly at the ridiculousness of it all. Leave it to Lando to come up with a first date idea as wonderfully insane as fake couples therapy.
âWe should do something normal for our next date,â you quip, shooting him a sly look. âLike go skydiving or swimming with sharks.â
Lando matches your playful tone, draping an arm around your shoulders as you meander away from the office. âWhatever you say, darling. Just promise me you wonât leave me for one of the skydiving instructors, yeah?â
You pull him closer with a laugh. âNo promises, babe.â
#f1 imagine#f1#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1 fanfiction#f1 x reader#f1 x you#lando norris#ln4#lando norris imagine#lando norris x reader#lando norris x you#lando norris fic#lando norris fluff#lando norris fanfic#lando norris blurb#f1 fluff#f1 blurb#f1 one shot#f1 x y/n#f1 drabble#f1 fandom#f1blr#f1 x female reader#lando norris x female reader#lando norris x y/n#mclaren#lando norris one shot#lando norris drabble
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Can i request OPLA zoro where he doesn't get along with reader but calls her my girl in front of a baratie waiter who was flirting with her.
my girl
zoro; 2,438 words; fluff, kinda enemies to lovers, fem!reader, straw hat!reader, lots of banter, slow...burn?
summary: just cause you don't see eye to eye doesn't mean zoro's down to watch you get hit on while he's in the same bar, either.
a/n: again. i've got no excuse. pls continue to send more requests feed my opla!zoro obsession u__u
it is perhaps what therapists and psychiatrists would call an incompatibility of character. or maybe something about you and him that simply acted like two jigsaw pieces from completely different puzzles. or maybe luffy had just jinxed it when heâd said the first time that he sensed some âtension amongst the crewâ, but itâs no secret that you and zoro donât exact see eye to eye.
in fact, sanji thinks, it might only be a matter of time before you each try to take the otherâs eyes out permanently.
âyouâre really not worried?â he asked luffy as theyâd watched zoro and you bicker all the way down the wobbling boardwalk leading up to the baratie, you sniping at zoro for getting in your way and zoro biting back something equally acerbic and childish about you being too clumsy to be a good pirate.
âhuh? why would i be worried? they get along just fine!â luffy had laughed, eyes bright and round as heâd readjusted his hat and bounded off towards the entrance, whooping about being hungry enough to take down an entire sea cow.
âwh ââ
âbit rich, since you and zoro are always at each otherâs throats, no?â
nami bumps sanjiâs arm as she strolls by him with a stack of empty crates. sanji squawks, readjusting his own bags before jogging after her.
âcâmon, you know thatâs different!â
nami smirks but doesnât grace that with an answer, instead, she lets her eyes flicker back to where you and zoro are still snarking at each other even as the bewildered looking fishman at the front leads you all around back to the kitchen entrance.
ââ wouldnât have been in that situation if youâd just ââ
âyeah? and if iâd just stayed put like you said, the entire going merry wouldâve gone up in smoke cause last i checked, wood is very flammable!â
âthe merryâs not that fragile.â
âyou wanna bet?â
âyeah, maybe i do ââ
âwhatâs goin�� on here? didnât i tell you lot to get lost?â zeffâs gruff voice interrupts your bickering as the peg-legged chef looks from zoro to you and then the rest of the crew, âgotta new one, didya? donât remember you from the last time these idiots were here.â
âsheâs barely an upgrade from the clown head ââ
you slam your heel into the toe of zoroâs boot and he hisses, nearly dropping his armful of crates.
âwhat he means is that iâm the brains of the operation ââ
âwe donât need brains ââ
âoh, so youâre admitting that you didnât have any before i got here?â
zoro glares, dropping the crates as luffy pushes past you both to clap zeff on the shoulder and offer him a huge stack of berry.
âwe came to pay you back for the meal last time! and to buy a new one! and⌠maybe some extra food stuff if youâve got it.â
zeff opens his mouth to answer but itâs drowned out by the sound of your voice as you jab a finger into zoroâs chest.
ââ just because you canât hold more than one cohesive thought in your head at once doesnât mean that ââ
ââ whatâs that even supposed to mean? like you can think about two things at once?â
âenough! you two â outta the kitchen, now! i wonât have your lovesick teenage yappinâ distractinâ my line chefs!â
you both jump at zeffâs voice, and an unpleasant heat creeps into your cheeks as you realize that the entire kitchen had indeed gone very quiet, most of the white-clad workers staring at you and zoro.
âi need a drink,â zoro says, rolling his shoulders as he sidesteps you and pushes his way out of the kitchen.
âlook, sir, i didnât mean ââ you take half a step forward but zeff jabs a finger at the doors still swinging in zoroâs wake.
âi said out!â
you glance between zeff and the rest of your crew for a split second before turning and scrambling from the kitchen, looking abashed.
âoh no, câmon zeff, you didnât need to yell at her like that ââ sanji sighs as he tries to go after you, but nami nails him in the stomach with one of her arms.
ânope. this is something they need to work out on their own. and youâre on grocery shopping duty with me, remember?â she flashes him a smile even as he deflates slightly and turns back to the work of haggling rations out of the baratieâs storerooms.
you find zoro already posted up at the bar, even though the hour is still early enough that thereâs only a few other patrons, mainly keeping to themselves. you fight the urge to march up to him and give him an earful about embarrassing you in front of sanjiâs old master like that but zeffâs words about making a scene keeps your lips clamped shut.
instead, you seat yourself as far from zoro as humanly possible and wait for the bartender to sidle over. he flashes you a winning smile, making no attempt to conceal the way his eyes drag from your hair to your face and then down to your cleavage, where his gaze rests for a beat too long before he clears his throat.
âwhat can i get you, gorgeous? something sweet and bubbly, perhaps? or maybe something a bit more dark and⌠seductive? i can have a custom drink whipped up for you in a few if youâd like⌠on the house, of course.â
he shoots you a wink that has your eyebrows hiking up your forehead.
âlaying it on thick, are we?â
the bartender shrugs, seemingly unbothered by your lack of enthusiasm.
âplace like this doesnât exactly breed subtlety.â
you make a noncommittal noise before sighing, âiâll have a dirty martini, shaken not stirred, straight, with a twist, please.â
to his credit, the bartender doesnât miss a single beat, âah, a woman of taste, though iâll admit that i prefer my martiniâs naked instead of shaken, hm?â
he waggles his eyebrows and if it werenât for the loud cough from down the bar drawing the bartenderâs attention, you wouldâve rolled your eyes.
at the opposite end of the bar, zoro taps his empty drink glass against the waxy hardwood, a vein ticking in his jaw. heâd listened to the entire exchange with a growing annoyance festering in the depths of his stomach. and here he was, hoping for a moment of quiet without the sound of your voice yammering in his ear. he shoots the bartender a glowering look as the man refills his drink and tries to make his way back down the bar to you.
zoro tosses the entire drink back in one and sets the empty glass down with a loud clack, clearing his throat as the bartender turns to stare at him. he holds the manâs gaze for a full three seconds before looking pointedly down at his glass and the bartenderâs face visibly reddens.
âhere you are, sir â the last three are on the house.â
the bartender lines up five identical drinks in front of zoro before marching away and zoro has to give it to the guy. he does make a good, stiff drink.
still, as he tries his hardest not to glance down towards where youâre sitting, sipping slowly at your martini, he canât help overhearing the stilted stabs at conversation floating down the length of the empty bar. the bartender lavishes you with questions, asking about your travels, who you came with, where youâre from. you, for your part, never give him an answer more than three words long â travels were good, my crew, an autumn island.
zoro briefly wonders why you donât tell the guy off like you so often did him. then, he briefly wonders if the fact that youâre always so easily set off by him means something. then, he not-so-briefly wonders why, if heâs always been so bothered by you, that heâs still thinking about you in the precious few hours he has to himself.
he clicks his tongue and downs another drink just as you finish your first.
âcâmon darlinâ â just a hint â what about the first letter? shall i try to guess?â
you sigh into your now empty glass as the bartender asks your name for the third time in a row, though to no avail. suddenly, a warm, solid presence appears next to you and the next thing you know, zoroâs arm is brushing up against yours as he leans over the bar to bear down at the bartender.
âright, now if youâre done trying tâpick up my girl, i think iâd like the check.â
the bartender blinks up at zoro, uncomprehending for a second before a blotchy redness seeps into his cheeks.
ây-your â you havenât said a word to each other since either of you got here!â
you swallow passed a bewildered laugh as you glance up at zoro to find a challenge clear in his eyes. you slowly swivel back to the bartender with a light smile.
âever heard of a loverâs quarrel?â
the bartender sputters as he stares between the pair of you for another long second before scurrying off to fetch the check. zoro chuckles under his breath, his earrings clinking softly in the dim light.
âdamn â i really wanted another drink,â you say, staring at your empty glass.
wordlessly, zoro plops one of his in front of you. itâs the second to last.
you bring it up to your nose for a sniff before making a face.
âgod that smells awful!â
âfine then, more for me.â
âi didnât say i wouldnât drink it!â
you bring the glass to your lips for a small sip. itâs tastier than youâd imagined but it still burns a line down your throat as you shiver.
âh-holy shit ââ you cough, wiping at your mouth, âhow many of these have you had?â
zoro shrugs, sipping on his own glass with a careless ease, âdunno. donât really keep count.â
âugh⌠this could knock out a war elephantâŚâ you make another face before you take a second sip.
âfigures you canât hold your liquor, drinkinâ whatever girly shit you ordered.â
you round on him, âmartinis are not girly!â
âtch. whatever.â
you settle into a huffy silence. zoroâs arm is still pressed against yours and neither of you makes to pull away. for a while, the only sounds in the bar are the soft clink of ice on glass and the light, liquid splashing of the ocean waves.
âwhy didnât you tell him off?â zoroâs voice is quiet and when you turn to look at him, itâs to find him staring. you hold his gaze steady and donât look away.
âwhy should i? heâs no one to me.â
âyou donât seem to have a problem yellinâ at me.â
you shrug, your eyes flickering back to the too-strong drink in your hand.
âi donât tend to waste my breath on people i donât really care about,â you say, your voice soft and careful and honest. zoro sucks in a slow breath, his mildly alcohol addled brain trying to process what youâd just said but his thoughts are interrupted by a peel of loud, raucous laughter echoing in from the dining room beyond.
âcâmon, sounds like dinner is served,â you say, grinning as you push off the bar, jerking your head towards the dining room door.
zoro lets out the breath before downing the rest of his drink and leaving the empty glass on the bar to follow you.
at dinner, you bicker less than usual and zoro is even more quiet than he normally is. though he wastes no time ordering another round for the table. no one really comments till zeff comes round at the end with the check.
âdinnerâs already paid for but i was told that this is for the âlovebirds from the barâ,â he says, as he drops the drinks bill in front of zoro with a deadpan sort of look.
for a full ten seconds, no one moves. and then, usoppâs jaws hit the floor as sanjiâs eyebrows jerk towards the ceiling. nami sits back with a satisfied smirk as luffy nods happily at the two of you before turning to grin at sanji.
âsee? told you they get along fine!â
sanji has the decency to sputter just as usopp leans forward to point between you and zoro.
âwait⌠whaattt?â
you make to tug out your wallet but zoro slaps a stack of berry on top of the bill.
âgive our compliments to the bartender,â he says with a slight smirk as zeff takes the money, glancing up at the two of you.
âyeah? whatâd he make thatâs got you so impressed?â
you purse your lips as you make a show of shrugging, waving a nonchalant hand through the air.
âoh, just a mean dirty martini.â
zeff lets out a loud bark of laughter as he takes the berry and clomps back towards the kitchens, shaking his head. zoro chuckles beside you as he stretches an arm over his head and lets it settle casually on the booth back behind you.
later, as everyone is making their way back towards the going merry, nami catches up to you on the docks, looping an arm through yours and pinning you with a meaningful look just as sanji sidles up to zoro and bumps him with a shoulder.
âsoâŚâ nami says, grinning as she tugs you forward a few steps.
âso.â sanji clears his throat, casting zoro a sidelong glance.
âwanna tell me what that was about?â nami asks.
âcare to elaborate on that back there?â sanji questions.
you and zoro both take a deep, long breath. zoro glances up to see the way you toss a lock of hair over your shoulder, your bright laughter carrying back on the breeze. you allow yourself a smile, and you donât have to turn to feel zoroâs eyes on you as both of you turn to your respective companions and say â
âiâve got no idea what youâre talking about.â
opla!zoro reqs are (as always) open!!
#one piece#one piece live action#opla zoro#opla roronoa zoro#roronoa zoro#roronoa zoro x reader#roronoa zoro x you#x reader#opla#one piece netflix#opla zoro x reader#one piece live action x you#one piece live action x reader#roronoa zoro fluff#one piece fluff#opla fluff#roronoa zoro imagines#roronoa zoro scenarios#floofy floof floof
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I wanted to make a bonsai kitten recovery post that outlines some of the stuff that I've been doing. Because I don't think that you need to â¨see a therapist⨠to start dealing with a lot of this stuff and I get really frustrated when that is the answer that everyone is constantly giving. Firstly a disclaimer, because I know what website I am on: this is a guide for things that have worked for me! I am not everyone and if there are things on here that do not work for you or even that you think are stupid, that is fine, but please do not make it my problem. If you are reading it and you're like "that sounds like it would actually be detrimental to my specific mental health because of my specific issues" then please disregard it. Use your critical thinking skills and do what you think is right for you!
My second disclaimer is that I didn't make any of this up myself; most of these are collected from various places either in therapeutic guide books or various websites about emotional regulation etc. Some of it is stuff that I have extrapolated from those places based on experience with what works for me or does not work for me. A lot of the way that I treat myself when I need to get my body and brain into a place where I can think about stuff productively is actually directly from gentle parenting guides, because frankly cptsd recovery stuff is very often like parenting a toddler. And the toddler is you. ALL THAT SAID,
The first skill that I had to get good at, that many of the other skills depend on, is to learn how to understand when I am Reacting to something. If I am Reacting it is extremely likely that that's going to only escalate the situation and make it much worse. I HAVE to be able to tell if I am Reacting emotionally to something in a way that is coming from a place of fear and panic. This is important because it involves not being prescriptive about your emotions. You could be Reacting to something that you do not logically feel is at all justified in making you feel that way and that doesn't matter! You can't be doing math equations to try to come to the answer of how you SHOULD be feeling; you have to be observing your mind and body to see how you factually ARE feeling and then respond to THAT. This can be really hard to learn how to do especially if you were abused as a child. (If you cannot think of yourself as someone who is abused as a child perhaps it would help to think of yourself as someone who simply was not taught various emotional regulation skills for mysterious reasons that have nothing to do with your parents' inadequacies.) I need to be able to glance inward and see what the physiological reaction that I'm having is and identify whether or not I feel like this is the biggest emergency in the world that needs to be addressed right now immediately! That is a sure sign that Mr Fight and Mr Flight are in the building and it is bad to make declarative statements or important decisions when that is the case. So, I have to work on dismissing them first. That is literally the first step to any of this. One of my friends calls this "fire mittens," which is to say, if you are wearing mittens that are on fire and you try to touch stuff, the stuff will also become on fire. You have to put the fire out first before you can touch other things.
Once I have determined that I am indeed Reacting and in a physiological state of fear, I have a document in my notes app that is a "what to do when you are in fight or flight mode" guide and it has several helpful things that I will try to outline here.
Firstly, the really important thing for me for trying to get back into an emotional state where I'm capable of making decisions and being thoughtful is to feel safe and comfortable. So I actually have some stuff in my document that is straight up just like "go in the blankie nest. put on this specific music album. light this specific scented candle." etc. You might want to have a specific food or drink that is comforting to you or some other sort of stim toy that helps you regulate. If there's any calming medication or supplements for anxiety that you take as needed, now is also the time to do that. Physical sensory grounding is really important for this. This is probably especially true if, like me, you are neurodivergent, but I think it is also true for everyone because we are animals! And you can't just think about it, you have to actually do it. Which sounds obvious but is the thing that has often tripped me up in the past. Once you start getting into the habit of actually physically doing this it DOES become easier though.
One of my rules is that if I want to respond to something but I am in fight or flight mode, I don't get to respond to it for at least 24 hours. I'm only allowed to respond once I've gotten myself out of fear mode. If it is some kind of comment on Facebook that has set me off, often this means that 24 hours later I realize that I actually don't want to get into it to begin with, which is great. If it's something that is pretty serious and interpersonal with a friend, sometimes that means I have to communicate to them that I'm going to take a while to process it and then get back to them. IMPORTANT: You CANNOT do this passive aggressively or else it undermines the whole thing. You can't phrase it in a way that will make your friends think that you are guilt tripping them for "making" you feel a way. It is VERY tempting to do this when you are in the first stages of trying to form this habit and you simply need to resist the urge because it will render this step worthless. I know. It sucks.
If I am feeling fearful and insecure about friends or loved ones, I also usually try to spend some time thinking about the people that I love and care about. Because often this stuff manifest for me as insecurity that the people that I care about do not care about me, or that they think that I'm being annoying, or that they are secretly thinking mean things about me. It's obviously not good for me to constantly be imagining that the people in my life who I care about are actually avatars of my own insecurity who are here to tell me that I'm secretly fundamentally unlovable! But crucially also it's ALSO not fair to those people to imagine them as that. They are not that guy, they are their own complex human beings with their own lives and experiences and interiority. So sometimes I do thought exercises where I will imagine my friends or loved ones doing things in their everyday lives and I will think about them as people and I will think about the things that they like to do and the things that they say and the places that they go, and I will try to imagine them fondly in those circumstances. This helps to remind me that they are just people and that the scary puppet wearing their faces is not real. To this end I sometimes will have a document of screenshots of things that they have said to me that I can use to reality check myself. I personally find reality checks to be essential for a lot of this. Things can feel true when they are not true at all. Things can feel wrong when they are actually true. The point of most of these exercises is to gently remind myself that those feelings are normal for me to be having, but that I do not need to let them dictate my responses.
It is crucial throughout all of this that you are nice to yourself. You can't talk to yourself in a mean way while you're doing this, or you will not get to a point where you are feeling safe enough to react from a place of not-fear. You can't make yourself feel ashamed or defensive for your emotional reactions. This is the particular area where I find gentle parenting protocols helpful. You HAVE to be patient with yourself.
Ok that's all for now bc I ran out of steam but I will try to think of more to add on another day maybe. Godspeed everyone
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The Gang React to You Breaking Your Ankle
Lucifer
"This was bound to happen sooner or later."
I mean, really, with all the stunts you play with his brothers and that sorcerer, it's more surprising that you didn't break anything before now. Thank goodness your room is on the ground floor. Now, here is a schedule of where you need to be and when, along with the brother who is your designated companion at all times to ensure you don't get stuck somewhere or fall over and break something else. This is a rotating position so stop fighting all of you!
Mammon
"Holy shit, humans break easy, huh?"
Assuming for the moment that Mammon didn't accidentally get your ankle broken by pulling some stupid stunt for Devilgram clout and involving you in it, he'll be extra careful with you for a little bit. People keep jostling you in the hall! Don't they realize you're basically made of glass and paper?! He'll clear the halls for you to hobble by with your crutches. Yep, you're earning all sorts of new friends.
Leviathan
"E-sports are the best activity when you're injured."
What a convenient excuse to drag you to his room more often than usual for anime marathons and all-night gaming sessions. Like Mammon, he's a little uneasy about this revelation about just how delicate you are, but nobody gets injured playing video games. He's basically protecting you from your next inevitable accident.
Satan
"Stop trying to do so much on your own."
Satan acts extremely annoyed when he sees you trying to hop somewhere without your crutches or lifting anything more than fifteen pounds unaided. Of course, he's just worried about you and expressing that in the most practical way he can. He repeatedly reminds you of advice on improving your recovery rate he found in medical books and the blogs of reputable physical therapists (he always checks into their credentials).
Asmodeus
"Poor thing! Let me spoil you!"
And that's basically what he does, whenever he gets the opportunity. This is a great excuse to get some much needed R&R, in his opinion, so the two of you will be visiting spas and getting massages and you aren't walking anywhere anymore, he is one of the Rulers of the Underworld and you are going to be carried on a litter, so help him Gardonus.
Beelzebub
"You need to eat well to get your strength back."
Prepare yourself for Beel's version of "eating well". You only had three eggs for breakfast? You'll never heal at that rate. Have another six and some bacon. Here's a protein shake. It's designed for demons so it's probably a little grittier than the soft stuff from the human world but it's exactly what you need. No, he doesn't have any science to back this up. Yes, he expects you to clean your plate.
Belphegor
"Of course you got hurt, running around all the time. You should just relax with me."
Little did you know this was all part of Belphegor's master plan...
What a perfect opportunity to spend every second of the day with you. Now that you're forced to sit around and avoid being too active, he has you right where he wants you (specifically, under the blankets with him while he sleeps). He'll remind you at every opportunity that you normally run yourself ragged, and you've earned some time to laze around. And now that you're injured, you have the perfect excuse!
Diavolo
"Your poor human bones... My home is always open to you if you need somewhere more convenient to stay. Please take care of yourself, in the meantime."
Rest assured, he will provide you with all transportation necessary to and from RAD. Or perhaps you would like to try remote classes? Leviathan finds them productive! And if you need anything, please let him know. He'll be in touch about five times a day just to make sure you remember that.
Barbatos
"I am only a phone call away should you require my assistance."
And he will be on call at all hours of the day and night, just in case. You'll be treated like royalty when you visit the castle too, of course. (Even more like royalty than usual, that is.)
Solomon
"Oh, that? Here."
He just magics your ankle better. There, there, little apprentice. He's surprised you didn't do that yourself.
Simeon
"What are you carrying? I'll take it for you. No, I insist!"
Simeon will be a perfect gentleman, helping you up and down stairs and carrying your books and shopping for you. He's very concerned about you somehow re-injuring yourself, and even when you're alright to walk without crutches anymore, he still *really wishes* you'd use them for an extra week or two, just to be on the safe side.
Luke
"You did what to your ankle?! Ankles can do that?!
Congratulations, you've introduced Luke to the concept of broken bones, and he will find the human skeleton creepy and gross for the rest of his life.
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@thefandomthings I know this isn't exactly what your ask was, but it's similar, so I hope you like this!
#this was in my drafts for weeks#time to do another gang reacts post#obey me#obey me ensemble#obey me headcanons#obey me lucifer#obey me x reader#obey me mammon#obey me leviathan#obey me satan#obey me asmo#obey me beel#obey me belphegor#obey me belphie#obey me diavolo#obey me solomon#obey me simeon#obey me barbatos#obey me luke#dthc#hcs#text post#lucifer#mammon#belphie#levi#satan#asmo#beel#the gang react
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Hello! I hope you are doing well đ you are my fav writer and I just wanted to to throw out this crazy brainrot request to u bc I am SICK over it
So Florence nightingale syndrome right? Toji is like a professional boxer or whatever something athletic bc he's a fucking beast and he gets hurt, like his leg or something, and you become his at home occupational therapist. So you're like taking care of him and he's getting feelings for you while also being a stubborn ass bc u push him constantly so he can get better. and he's super hesitant to accept his feelings bc he's a Playboy of course.
I'm just picturing this one scene where you're helping him up and he's leaning on you and he says something like "are you sure you can handle me princess?" Idk I'm insane I'm sorry đđđđ
Pairing: boxer!Toji Fushiguro x f!caregiver!Reader
Warnings: Fluff, frustrated Toji, Florence nightingale syndrome, Toji has an injured leg and is a little bitch for a bit
*This was so fun to work on and now I'm having thinking a little too hard about boxer toji (I'm ovulating) sofjsof enjoy!
Discord 18+ - Twitter - Ko-Fi
Toji never really thought heâd be dependent on someone, yet now he canât even take a shower standing up. After an unlucky boxing match, Toji ended up in a cast and crutches. Thatâs what he gets for not listening to his son who told him it was around time to retire.
âIâm not a fucking skeleton, Iâm good in my field. I can do this for a couple more years.â How he wishes he could swallow his fucking words. He thought that after getting the cast off heâd go back to normal, and heâd have no issue with mobility. He shouldnât have an issue moving his fucking leg again, heâs been moving it for more than thirty years, why should three months of not moving it change much?
Apparently he canât do anything, which is why he has someone with him all day every day, helping him so he can get better. Tojiâs main issue? He gets frustrated when someone tries to help him.Â
âBe careful, itâs hot.â You smile at him as you put his dinner in front of him. He has a scowl on his face as you set it down in front of him. He tried to help make dinner but he couldnât stand for too long. Heâs mad, but not at you. He could never be mad at you.Â
Toji wasnât necessarily fond of you when you started working with him; he hates being dependent on someone else, and he knew that he would have to depend on you for pretty much everything. You try to help him though, and he should be more appreciative of you because of it, but in reality he feels like a fucking baby. Heâs grown to like you though⌠A little too much for his liking.Â
You leave him to eat, going to wash the dishes since he canât do the task yet. Perhaps his own bowl and spoon, but not everything that needs to be cleaned. You watch him from the counter, watching his refusal to pick up the spoon and eat the soup you made him. Earlier he was so prideful, telling you that he would help you every step of the way during dinner, and he couldnât even finish one third of it. You were proud of him regardless.
âItâs really good, Toji! The potatoes you helped peel really added a touch to it.â Youâve gotten close enough to be on a first name basis. You see each other every day, you stay in the same house, of course youâre close enough to talk to each other so casually. It doesnât mean you should though. Youâve always managed to keep a very professional relationship with patients, but thereâs just something about him that makes it hard for you to be normal around him.
âDonât talk to me like Iâm a fucking kid.â He says, pushing the bowl of soup away. Heâs not hungry anymore. Toji stands up, his hands holding on to the table to support himself before grabbing his crutches.Â
âToji, if youâre not eating it, can you try to bring it over to me, please?â You ask. You know the soup has cooled down, if he spills it, heâll be fine.
âIf you want it, pick it up yourself.â Toji is clearly mad. You donât take it to heart though, because you know itâs with himself and not you.Â
âHow about we go to the park tomorrow? Itâs supposed to be a nice day out.â You talk to Toji who tries to watch a documentary. Heâs not all that interested in what he put on, caring more about what you have to say. He might not show it, and he tries to deny it, but he has the biggest soft spot for you. âWe can also get some ice cream, if youâre in the mood!â
âHey⌠Iâm sorry about earlier. I was justââ Itâs hard to get an apology out of him, but sometimes he knows heâs in the wrong and he feels the need to apologize. He doesnât want you to be mad at him, even though youâre clearly not upset with him. Youâre so understanding and patient with him, he feels like he doesnât deserve that.
âYouâre fine, Toji.â You reassure him with a smile, your hand going over his balled up fist. You feel your heart skip a beat as you touch him. Youâve crossed the line past a professional relationship, and you should set some boundaries within yourselfâ But his other hand goes on top of your own before he brings it up, softly kissing your knuckles. Itâs hard to set boundaries when he feels the same way.
âIâm tired.â He tells you, and you stand up to help him get up. Toji usually denies your help, but this time, he has no problem accepting it. You just want the best for him, and thereâs some things that he canât do completely alone. He has to take baby steps. Heâs using you for support, and heâs scared that heâs too heavy for you. He asks you, âAre you sure, princess? Can you handle me? I know Iâm pretty big.â
âYouâre fine. I can handle you.â You reassure him, and you begin to walk to his bedroom. His room was previously on the second floor, but ever since his injury, heâs moved his bedroom to the first floor. You get him to his bedroom, helping him on the bed. You smile at him before saying, âLet me grab your crutches. You left them in the living room, right?â
Before you can walk away, he grabs your sleeve. Tojiâs slowly realizing that he canât fight off the feelings that consume him when you help him, and heâs usually not a fan of them. Tojiâs been tied down once before, he certainly doesnât want that again. But with you, itâs different. He doesnât mind the idea.
âWill you lay down with me?â He asks, and you suck in your bottom lip between your teeth. You shouldnât. He caresses your cheek with the back of his hand before he prompts himself up to kiss the corner of your mouth.
âToji, you know this isnât something I can do.â You tell him as he looks lovingly into your eyes. âIâm here to help you get better.â
âYou can help me get better by laying down next to me.â Toji responds. You grab the hand that so lovingly touches your cheek and kiss it, before bringing your lips down to meet his momentarily. He swears he hears fireworks when your lips meet, even after you pull away.
Heâs most definitely in love with you.
âIâll go get your crutches. Good night, Toji.â
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#toji fushiguro#jujutsu toji#toji zenin#dilf toji#fushiguro toji#toji fushiguro x you#daddy toji#toji imagine#jujutsu kaisen toji#jujutsu kaisen x reader#toji fushiguro x reader#toji x y/n#jjk toji#toji fluff#toji x reader#toji x you#toji jjk#fushiguro
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You, Wriothesley's therapist.
TW: mentions of murder, depression, trauma
Sigewinne takes care of the physical injuries in the Fortress...but that place must have a lot of mental instabilities, trauma, depressive states as well, right?
Enter you who is hired by the Iudex to take frequent visits to the fortress and check on a list of people's well-beings.
The Iudex hired you, not the duke, though it WAS the duke's idea, he didn't think he was fit to choose and hire a "therapist", Neuvillette was probably more adept at that.
On the first day of your job, the list or people to check on is rather extensive and you talk and meet with a lot of new people just on the first day.
That guy who killed his best friend and is haunted by dreams of the scene.
That young lady who has spiralled into depression because she's separated from and unable to see her daughter.
That old man who has anger issues because he just didn't think he had done anything wrong.
It was probably a week or two after you were appointed that you finally met the person in charge of the place. The Duke, as they call him.
He seemed like a pretty strict guy, but when he thanked you for looking after the people here, you thought he wasn't that bad.
"I'm just doing my job,"
"A really hard one at that," he comments.
The next time you see him is months after, but this time he only passes you a glance, and rather quickly strides off to his office.
The next day, he seeks you out and apologizes for it.
"I was...in a bit of a rush,"
You wonder why he even apologizes. "...It's no big deal,"
"...I hope that you know that you're welcome here. I don't think you quite understand how difficult your job is, trying to shoulder everyone's past and fixing their psyche for their future,"
You look up at him, and tilt your head a little, squinting your eyes and trying to get a good read out of him...then it hits you.
The Duke needs therapy too.
"...I think you're a little stressed, your grace. Is there a quiet place where we can comfortably chat in?"
How were you to know it was going to end up in tea time? Yes the duke had issues, some deep seated ones, but not as much as the common folk that you were trying to work with. And yet you found yourself having tea with him even though it wasn't "work" related anymore.
All the two of you talked about were stories of the past, and shared a laugh or two about some silly or outrageous story he or you shared.
Weeks later there came a time when the angry old man you'd been working on had an outburst. He didn't mean to. None of your patients ever mean to, not when they had such big emotions, such big events to get over, such pent up emotions and such deep, deep regrets.
Old man had thrown a wrench at you, he was surprisingly strong, probably from working in the fortress for a while. You were caught off guard, not to mention you weren't even sitting too far away from him. You managed to shield yourself from it, but your arm bruised hours later.
You didn't think it merited a visit to Sigewinne, besides it was nearly home time for you.
"Done for the day?" You bristled a little at the sudden voice of the Duke, not expecting to see anymore of him today.
"Mmhmm," you simply answered his grin. You also didn't think it was something to hide from him. So your bruised arm was there for him to see in plain sight.
His grin disappearing and his eyes narrowing at the sight alerted you that it was perhaps something that you should've kept from him. "Where'd you get that?" He was 1000% sure you didn't have it when you had tea with him at noontime today.
"This...Well...Corrin was...having a particularly bad day," you moved your arm behind your back with a small smile, wanting to brush it off, but Wriothesley puts his hand out in expectation.
"Let me see it,"
For a moment the two of you just stare each other down. You wondering what the big deal was, him not backing down. When you didn't move an inch he gives in and adds the magic word. "Let me see it, please,"
You lift your arm up towards his head with a sigh and he receives it shockingly gently. He inspects it like it's some kind of puzzle he needs to solve, thorough and detailed. "Did you let Sigewinne see?" before you could even reply he adds "How did this even happen? Why was I not told?"
"It's..." You start. How do you explain? That you were supposed to be your patients' safe space. That nothing is supposed to harm them when in a session with you, that everything was in confidentiality. Working with troubled people, things like this were bound to happen, and it was only the first time.
He catches on to it quite quickly. "...It's your job," he finishes for you.
"...Precisely,"
The big sigh he lets out at the same time as releasing your arm has you wondering, really, why he seemed so stressed all over again. Over you.
Did you really not know the reason? You had an inkling why, you were a therapist after all. You got into people's minds for a living and Wriothesley wasn't exactly being subtle, but... you didn't want to assume.
"...How about I come with you next time?" he offers. You smile a little. "I don't think Corrin would be comfortable enough to talk with you hovering around,"
He grumbles something under his breath, like a defeated, stubborn puppy. "He doesn't have to know... I'll stand outside, or something,"
You laugh a little. "...The Iudex already has terms on my working contract when things like this happen. I'm supposed to drop the patient if "physical disputes" happen a total of three times and after three warnings are given."
Wriothesley huffs, though it sounds more like a scoff. "Leave it to him to think of everything. Doesn't seem fair," he moves so that he stands next to you, and places a hand on your upper back, pushing you the slightest bit to walk with him. You notice he's steering you towards the Fortress' infirmary.
"What doesn't seem fair?" You ask with genuine curiosity, not knowing what he was implying.
He's silent only for a beat more, but he doesn't look at you as he answers, only continues walking forward. "That he gets to protect you and I don't,"
You can't mistake the somersault your heart makes, you bite the inside of your cheek to keep from smiling silly.
The Duke needs the occasional therapy.
Or maybe he just needs you.
#genshin impact#genshin impact fluff#wriothesley#wriothesley x reader#wriothesley fluff#genshin impact wriothesley
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Never really fit back in
Part 1 Mirrors.
Ever since Danny died he knew something was still well wrong with him. Like something was still missing from him and he didn't fully understand what till he became king of the Infinite Realms. Only then did he remember. Remember that wasn't just Danny Fenton but also Danyal Ra Gul. How could he have forgotten? How could he have forgotten his brother? He had to remember more..
He went to the only one that could allow him to remember, he went to Clockwork. Remembering was painfully, remembering felt like his core was tearing apart and coming together over and over but he needed to know.
He remembered his mother, her soft lullabies, her training, her love, her affection. He remembered loving her just as his brother did. He remembered his brother, he remembered caring so deeply for him. He remembered how deep he was in the LOA, he remembered trying to get his brother out, he remembered dying for it. He remembered his body being placed in the pit of toxic and decorated ectoplasm, he remembered becoming one with it. He remembered his grandfather deeming him a failure, he remembers watching his family turn their backs to him. Then he was Fenton. Was he ever really a Fenton? Was he really the same boy they lost so long ago? Was he Danyal, the failed child of the league, the failure that followed his brother? Was he neither? Was he just the poor reflection of both children lost forever?
Danny decided he needed to see his brother, he needed to at least know if he was alive and living well. He sent Wulf to find him. Apparently his brother was in Gotham, maybe that's where his new haunt could be. He couldn't really stay in Amity after all even if a piece of him wanted to. Too many GIW agents now and the house had only gotten more aggressive as he got stronger. Maybe it's time to move on from being Danny.
First Danny had to talk to Jazz, she was a therapist or well in college for it now maybe she could talk him through it. Make him see what he wanted.
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Damian sat in his room today, not coming out once worrying the others. Though once they looked at the date it made sense. Every year a day after his birthday Damian becomes unresponsive to everyone. Once it's over they're greeted with the same response every year to their questions.
"Tsk, That is none of your concern."
Damian spent the day mourning. Morning the brother he had killed, mourning the brother who was consumed by the pit, mourning the brother who was seen as a failure. His twin brother, his twin blade, the brother that he sees whenever he looks into the mirror longer than he has to. The look of betrayal then acceptance that his brother gave as Damian coldly watched him bleed out.
Today he thought of his brother and his last moments. Today he thought of how his brother smiled at him as he died looking up at Damian. Today he thought of the last question his brother told him. "You'll be ok, ok?" The last question he answered with awful indifference and anger and shame. Damian's last words to his brother, last words to a dying brother who only wanted to spare him from the league, deeming him a failure.
Danyal wasn't a failure. Danyal was smart, picking up every lesson quickly and efficiently. Quicker to realize the league was wrong. Danyal was a killer, Danyal was lethal but kind in his way of killing making it quick and nearly painless. Danyal in times of quiet was kind and soft and comforting, things that couldn't be in the league. Danyal that could tell you everything you could have ever wanted about the stars and space and how to care for a blade. If it hadn't been for Damian perhaps his brother would have been heir, perhaps he deserved it more than Damian ever did.
Damian went to the mirror and stared into it like he did every year. Stared into the face of his brother. Stared into the face that he watched drain of life and apologized. Apologized like he did every year till he couldn't get the words out anymore. Damian didn't sleep well that night, he never did the day after his birthday, the day of his death.
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Idea bullet points!
Damian and Danny are both 16-ish
They were about 7 when Danny's first death took place (yay trauma)
Damian didn't realize the gravity of his actions till like a solid 2 days after he killed his brother. When he did he begged to have him brought back through the pit only to watch him dissolve into it and never be seen again.
Danyal became one with the pit meaning his body dissolved into it imprinting the possibility of becoming a new king onto Danny (like Royal jelly or something)
When Danny reformed as a child and not a strong Ghost Clockwork had him placed somewhere where the Fenton's could adopt him/ where he'd grow to be a good king
Danny didn't become a half when he was electrocuted he just awakened part of his power then. He was always a halfa.
Maybe clockwork locked away his memories or maybe that's just what the ectoplasm did.
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pretty when you cry
therapist!wanda maximoff x fem!reader
18+: mommy issues, minimal therapy talk though, smut; mommy kink, dacryphilia, thigh riding, praise kink, fingering, darkish in the fact that, not only is it an inappropriate relationship, she almost uses râs weaknesses(?) against her, manipulative ish and a lot of language inferring r being dependent on her? idk how to describe it :/
wc: 1.5k
Wanda listened to the way your intake of breath was shaky. She watched the subtle tapping of your foot against the carpeted ground and the way you played with your fingers in your lap.
âYou never deserved to be treated that way,â she spoke. âI hope you know that.â
âThe realisation of the pain almost feels worse than living through it,â you uttered back, your voice quiet as you lifted your eyes to the ceiling to will away the building tears. You avoided her gaze, the soft eyes, the wanting eyes that she couldnât help but train on each feature of your sullen face.Â
You were broken and she wanted to put you back together again. Or perhaps she aches to break you all the more, just to see how dependant on her she could make you; how lovely you would be to need her.Â
âThis guilt youâve expressed - about this resentment you hold towards your family - Iâd like for us to throw it away,â Wanda returned. âI hope that, together, we can bring you back - lift you to where you should be without the weight of your mother on your shoulders.â
At the tremble of your bottom lip, she lifted herself from where she sat, instead taking a seat beside you despite that line of professionalism. She took in the scent of your perfume and the up-close sight of the side of your face. She adored the shy way you glanced towards her, quickly diverting your glistening eyes when the tears began to roll along your cheeks.Â
She couldnât keep her touch away at the sound of a sniffle, a sigh of breath from your parted lips. A comforting hand took place on your thigh and you couldn't deny the warmth it ignited. Whether it was the comfort or the forbidden closeness you weren't quite sure.Â
You leaned into the arm that encircled your waist, accepting the guiding of her hand that brought the side of your head to rest against her shoulder.Â
âOh, sweet girl,â she whispered with her lips ghosting the top of your head. Youâd never experienced such fondness, a soft embrace when you felt as though the world had left you crumbled.Â
Never before had someone shown you this kind of affection and any path of sense grew blurry. Should she be holding you this way with her hand on your leg? Should the scent of her vanilla body lotion make you dizzy? You don't know. All you know is that you don't want her to let go.Â
You'd recognised her beauty, of course, and this close it was that much more astounding. When her finger and thumb took hold of your chin for you to look into her eyes you could see each fleck of colour, each bit darkened when her sights were set upon you and your pink-hued whites, your wet eyelashes and cheeks striped with tear marks.Â
âYou look so pretty when you cry,â she whispered, taking in your appearance lustfully. She wiped her thumb through the droplets that ran down your cheek and the touch was enough to calm the hiccuped breaths that caught in your throat, serving as a reminder of the present. Of the beautiful, older woman in front of you who was showing you that someone cared.Â
Despite the hungry way she peered down at you, watching your pain slide down to your chin, her touch remained gentle. The way she watched you intently barely made you shrink, her musing eyes drank up the pathetic sight happily. Crying before her you looked so helpless, so pretty, so broken in need of a motherly hand to guide you. Sheâd bring you to tears over and over as long as sheâd be the one to pick you back up.Â
When you lifted your face to greet her lips with yours you were barely thinking, though when you did it was only to find her reciprocating with fervour; her hands took your face between them and yours found a place on her back with the silk material of her shirt in your grasp. It was a line you feared would have consequences. It was a line Wanda had only thought of crossing in the confines of her bedroom - one that was dangerous and thrilling and so tempting. But even a strictly professional woman such as herself has desires, she couldnât pass up such an opportunity.Â
You could feel the slick of her lip gloss against you, and you sighed at the intrusion of her tongue licking into your mouth. Her attention made your head spin. The idea that you were her sole focus, so desperate to have you sheâd risk it all, the closeness of her body when she pulled you onto her lap felt safe. When wandering hands crept beneath your shirt you leaned into their touch, feeling the shivering of your spine when her nails scraped along the skin whilst her lips made their way to your neck.Â
The way her body felt beneath your touch was sublime, the softness of her waist and the pillowy flesh of her breasts when you palmed at them through her bra.Â
Wandaâs breath was hot against your throat, her tongue licked across the bite mark she left behind whilst she pulled you impossibly closer in her eagerness to have you near. She pulled your hips into hers, smirking against your collarbone at the whimper you failed to hide. When she pushed her thigh upwards into your clothed cunt you couldnât hold back the grunt at the back of your throat, feeling the pressure in your aching clit. She knew youâd be soaked, that her attention would reward her with the feel of your hips aimlessly rutting against her.Â
âLet mommy help you,â she murmured, pulling away from you with swollen lips, her hands taking claim of your hips to aid your movements. âI just wanna make you feel good. That okay?âÂ
Her voice was soft and so were her eyes and it all made your brain so hopelessly empty, succumbing to the hold she has on you. All you knew was that she cared for you, the feelings she was igniting were setting you alight and, although you shouldnât, you wanted it. Each and every thing this woman would offer you, youâd take and swallow down.Â
When you nodded she smiled and cupped your cheek.Â
âGood girl.âÂ
She inched a hand between your bodies whilst her lips pushed to yours again, unfastening your jeans to creep past the hem of your underwear. Her fingers found how soaked you were with a swipe through your folds, your hands dug into her shoulders at the feeling of them brushing over your clit.Â
âSo worked up arenât you, hm?â she murmured against the pulse point of your neck, burying her fingers into your pussy with a curl that made you moan out into the crook of her neck, your teeth daring to ghost the soft skin. You wanted to know her taste. To consume her entirely, to show her just how grateful you are.Â
She adored the way you clung to her, keeping her as close as possible with your lips pressing kisses to her jaw while her fingers fucked into you; the heel of her palm pushed against your swollen bud, bringing you towards your release.Â
âCâmon,â she cooed, pulling your face away from her with a gentle hand in your hair. âLook at mommy when she makes you feel good.â
You did as she said, letting her keep her eyes focused on your pleading ones. The ones that held the remnants of your tears, that were replaced with a sensual hue, glossed over and wanting. You looked at her as though she was the only thing that mattered and it made her ravenous.
The sight of you cumming onto her digits had quickly become one of her favourite views and the sounds she pulled from you would echo in her mind. Feeling your mouth against hers made her smile, the way you thanked her for the pleasure. Her pliable little doll.Â
Youâd do anything for her and she knows it.Â
She was pleased with your obedience when you accepted the fingers she nudged past your lips, slackening your jaw to suck them clean of the mess youâd made. She tasted your sweetness in the kiss she reunited you with, knowing right away sheâd have to taste you properly as soon as she could.Â
Not much longer she was helping you stand up, fixing your appearance for you to take your leave, a tension lingering in the air of what was to happen next.Â
âThank you, Wanda,â you sheepishly began. âfor everything - for today. I mean-â
She cut you off with a laugh that eased your awkwardness and a touch to your arm that you leaned into.Â
âSame time next week?â she questioned to which you nodded right away. âAnd youâve got my number. Give me a call if you need anything in the meantime,â she added with her lips quirking into a smirk as she reciprocated your small wave goodbye.Â
#wanda maximoff x reader smut#wanda maximoff#wanda maximoff x female reader#wanda maximoff x reader#wanda maximoff x you
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And Comes Dawn pt 10.2
Pairing: Sauron/Halbrand x Reader
Words: 2.6k
Summary: The wall breaks.
Tags: manipulation, mentions of blood, smut, cream pie, fingering, sauron needs a therapist he is unwell, wall sex, obsession, sauron pov,
Notes: you sluts convinced me. I'm very proud of this one, especially the first part. As always I love your feedback.
He splashed the water over his face, mind reeling back to hours earlier. He hoped his ruse with the blacksmith worked. Yes, he wanted a job and a fresh start. At least part of him did, the part that didn't seek to take over the world and force every race under the sun to their knees. But he also knew where you'd be. Of course he did. He could sense you anywhere. You'd never be able to hide from him. The sight of you with the boy made his blood boil, but it all served a purpose. To make you doubt. To make you think. To convince you, he felt nothing real for the elf. Nothing like he felt for you.
That wasn't a deception. He didn't feel the same for her that he felt for you. She was a powerful ally and the best pawn he could have at his disposal. She intrigued him, but in a different way than you did. She had such darkness in her, but she didn't acknowledge it. She was beautiful, of course. But you were different in ways that he dare not think too much of. The wall he has built in his mind was too strong to allow his mind to wander to what his feelings for you meant, where the deception ended, and his truth began.
The knock drew him from his thoughts, and he made quick work of dressing himself. He couldn't help but smirk. It was you, of course it was, and it meant that his plan had worked. In a moment, his face changed as he opened the door.
âWhen did you get back?â
The sound of your voice started a chorus inside his soul. The miniscule part of him that could feel love and affection and joy and hope came alive. Morgoth convinced him it was the weak part of him. Morgoth had worked endlessly to destroy that. Sauron could almost believe it was gone until he looked into your eyes, and it ravaged him, shaking his being and willpower and fighting against everything he knew and believed.
âEarly this morning, before sunrise.â He spoke softly. Your silence was thick in the air. Perhaps he needed to do more.
âSweet one, I am sorry for what happened before. I ..-â
âDo you love me?â
What?
No.
He didn't.
He couldn't.
He wasn't capable of it.
Inside his mind, the carefully constructed wall began to crack.
Do you love me?
The words rang in his ears, getting louder and louder until it was all he could think. His mind could not break free. There was no manipulating or deceiving his way out of this. His consciousness would no longer let him deny it.
He couldn't lie to you. Not truly. Not without regret. The lies he spoke to you were like needles coming from his throat and spilling from his tongue, gashing and cutting him before spilling past his lips. He could not lie to you.
Why?
He could not look you in the eyes and think of bringing you harm. He had tried. How many times on that raft had he thought of drowning you in the sea. Or stabbing you. He could imagine his body acting the movements. He could see it in his mind's eyes, but he could never do it. He could never harm you. He couldn't even make something else bring you harm.
Why?
You made him think of home. Of song and light and love. Of a time before time when everything was peaceful and quiet. Your touch brought him a warmth he had not felt in time unimaginable.
Why?
Why did he have to protect you? Why did he seek you out every moment of every day? Why did 3 days apart from you feel longer than the thousands of years he spent as sludge in a cave?
Why did you make him wonder? Wonder about the future, about his morality, about his redemption. About the mystery of if Maia and mortals could ever have children. Why did you make him think of a family?
Why was your mere presence so utterly groundbreaking to who he had become that it felt like an apocalypse had come over his very soul?
âHalbrand, do you love me?â
Your voice tore him from these thoughts, and looking at you, he knew. He knew.
And in that knowing he feared. He feared what he could do to you. He feared what others could do to you. He feared his old master long dead.
He feared because it was true.
He feared because he loved you, and he could no longer keep it hidden from himself.
âI do.â
He was not prepared for when you sprung on him, and he couldn't gather the willpower to hesitate. He had felt lust before, for others of his kind and for a select few elves, but what he felt for you transcended the physical. You tasted sweet, of course you did, and he couldn't help the groan that rumbled in his throat. His fingers dug into the plump flesh of your cheeks as if afraid you'd move away.
He had longed for this moment, it seemed for an eternity, but he knew that was not the case. He broke the kiss, holding your chin in his grasp as he kept your face away from him. He could not just take you. He had to know if you wanted him too. He craved it. And if you didn't want him, he would wait until you did.
âSweet one,â his voice was deep and rough, looking down at you. You looked so pure and so innocent. âTell me this is what you want.â
âI want this. I want you.â
You spoke with no hesitation. There was not even a moment. What he thought about in the quiet of the night with his cock grasped in his hand, the lewd sounds he'd only imagined you making, it was all about to become a reality.
âFuck,â he groaned and made quick work of pulling you into his room. He pushed you against the door, knee between your legs and lips bruising yours. He could feel your arousal on the cloth of his pants, his tongue slipping inside of your mouth. You tasted so sweet. So pure. So good. He could never be sated.
Your skin felt soft in his hands. He squeezed and kneaded all of you. Your stomach. Your thighs. Your ass. Your breasts. The feel of your skin would be an invisible tattoo etched into his hands until the stars rained from the skies.
It was him who whined when you pulled away. He was desperate for more. His forehead rested against yours as he watched you. Your lips swollen and red, he could taste your spit on his tongue, and he needed more of you.
But only if you wanted him too. Only if you needed him to. The devastation of his love for you had been immense. He could not imagine the havoc your rejection would cause. One hand gently rested at the base of your neck to direct your eyes to him, his thumb softly caressing your skin.
âTell me to stop, sweet one, and I will.â
You looked up at him, and his breath caught in his throat. How could anyone compare to you?
âI am yours.â
Oh, sweet one.
You did not know what you spoke. You did not know who you were saying this. He had selfishly claimed you, but in this moment, he felt almost broken because you did not deserve him.
âDo not say words when you do not know the weight of them, sweet one.â
âI am yours.â And suddenly you were leading his hand under your dress and to your soaked underwear. He had to grit his teeth to stop his eyes from rolling back. He doesn't dream, but he had dreamed of this. It was slick and wet and hot. And you smiled at him.
Fuck.
He did not care about his deception in this moment. He would fill you with his corruption, his darkness until it flowed from you like a fountain. Until it dripped in pools at your feet.
He moved his fingers against your clit, softly and slowly, âHas anyone touched you like this?â His voice was thick with desire.
You shook your head, but that was not good enough for him. He gently squeezed your throat, and he felt the blood that surged under his touch. One day, he would carve his name into your flesh, and he would lap at the blood that flowed from the wound.
âUse your words,â he mumbled softly.
âNo, only you.â
Only him.
He slid his finger inside of you, relishing the sound it made. The wetness and slick on his fingers made him want to taste you, but he couldn't, not tonight. He knew he would spend forever in between your thighs, and he did not have the time for that.
âFuck, do you hear that?â His finger moved faster, the wet sound of your arousal filling the room. âMy sweet one,â he cooed, âfucking soaked at the thought of my cock, huh?â
He breathed heavily, his cock was achingly hard. He was addicted to the feel of your cunt and the sounds it made as he fucked it. The way you backed against his palm, the blissed out look in your eyes, he watched it all intently. He added a second finger and as your lips parted, he hungrily tasted your mouth once more. It was sloppy and wet, his teeth tugging at your lips. He couldn't get enough. Grunts and groans and growls ripped through him as he fucked you with his fingers harder and deeper. His lips trailed to your neck, licking your salty skin and sucking until your skin turned red.
You belonged to him.
You whimpered and gasped, and he needed more of it. He gently rubbed your peaked nipple and that was enough. You were a squirming mess as you came, soaking his hand.
âThat's it, that's my girl,â he mumbled softly, his fingers never ceasing. âC'mon sweet girl. Fuck, look at you. Look at that pretty fucking face.â
He watched you intently as your body relaxed and your head hit the door. âThat was incredible,â your voice was soft and spent.
He chuckled, his thumb coaxing you to look at him. âPretty girl, look at me.â You did as he told you, his hands cupping your face. You were so pretty. So beautiful. Especially now, exhausted from how hard you came.
âThat's my girl,â he squeezed your cheeks in his hand. âMy pretty fucking girl. I need you to look at me, okay, and I need you to be honest. There is nothing more I want right now than your cunt squeezing around my cock but I need to know you want that too.â
âYes, Halbrand, please.â
And that was all it took.
It was a blur as he moved clothes to the side but the moment his cock slid inside you, any moral dilemma or internal conflict disappeared. Only you mattered. Only how perfect your cunt wrapped around him was important. He held your face so he could watch how you reacted to him and he could tell from your lidded eyes and flush face you felt it all too.
"Fuck,â his breath hitched.âFuck. Does my cock feel good, sweet one?â
You nodded, but again, that wasn't enough. He needed to hear your voice say it, âNo, no, no. Use your words. Let me hear it.â
âYour cock feels good,â you breathed out.
Hearing you say that made his cock twitch inside of you. âSuch foul words from such a pretty mouth.â His thumb traced your bottom lip. âI'm going to move now.â
You nodded before catching yourself, âplease.â
One day, he'd have to make you beg for him.
He looked down to where your bodies connected and moved, watching his cock fuck your cunt for a moment before his attention turned to you. Your eyes rolled back and lips parted like a cock drunk slut already. His cock drunk slut. The slick sounds filling the room pulled his attention back to where you two met. The way you stretched around him was intoxicating to watch.
âYou're taking my cock so well, sweet one.â He kept moving, pressing a kiss to your shoulder.
Your hips moved to match his thrusts and the fingernails in his skin. You had broken so easily. Given into him so easily. He knew he could take you wherever, knew by the look on your face that you'd be his to fuck whenever he pleased.
âYou're mine,â he whispered. âThis my fucking cunt, isn't it?â
âMy cunt is yours,â you whined.
Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine.
He thrusted deep and hard, watching your face. You were his. His alone. No one could have you. No one could dare. He'd burn the world to the ground and everyone with it. He'd drown the world in blood. No sin was too dark for him to commit, not if he ended back here. Deep inside you.
Your eyes fluttered closed, and he couldn't have that. He roughly squeezed your cheeks until your eyes opened.
âEyes on me. Focus on the feeling. I want to see how good I make you feel. Look at those pretty eyes. Those. Pretty. Fucking. Eyes.â He gasped, his grip on your face tight. You whimpered and arched into him.
Something about how you looked at him in that moment, he realized you owned him. He was yours. No one else's. No elf. No Maiar. There was only you. You were his religion, and this was his worship. He was yours. You owned him. He was ruined for anyone else. Perhaps you were not made for him, but he for you.
âYou feel that cock, huh? It's yours, only yours. This is your cock, sweet one. I am yours.â
He could tell you were close, and he was too. How he wished it was his true name falling from your lips. He fucked into you harder and harder.
âTell me you love me,â he whispered, âtell me you love me, and I will come undone.â
He needed it. He needed the release. He was desperate.
âI love you.â
It was music to his ears. Moments later, when your cunt clenched around him and cries ripped through your body, he was soon to follow. His head buried in your neck as his warmth coated you. Your name passed through his lips. He would never be sated. He would always need this.
And later that night, long after you fell asleep, as he caressed your face, he knew he could never go back across the sea. He would stay here with you and prove his redemption to the valar. That he would start a family with you. That he would make you happy. The only thing that mattered more was keeping you safe.
Nothing mattered more than that.
#halbrand x reader#sauron x reader#halbrand x oc#sauron x oc#trop fanfiction#trop x reader#rings of power x reader#rings of power fanfiction
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