#need to have that kind of focus for man swears forever. only four chapters.... then i can unleash it..... unleash it all to the world...

[fishyfishyfishtimes]

Felt silly, wrote a 1.4 K word short story that I was kinda thinking about writing in the future, on my phone, in the train, then and there

[walkerwords]

“The Savior Sessions” Part 25 of 33 - Negan x GN!Reader

IMAGE CREDIT: AMC

SERIES MASTERLIST

Summary: The communities are on alert as Negan goes missing and Alpha remains quiet. As the reader is dealing with the love of their life disappearing again, Negan finds company on the road.

Word Count: 5413

Warning: Swearing, Graphic Depiction of Violence

Song I Wrote To: “Wicked Game” by James Vincent McMorrow

Note: We begin with the reader’s POV, but we focus on Negan for the rest of it. Reminder, I will be changing things from canon with the rest of these chapters. all official dialog is property of AMC. 

--------

One Week Earlier…

“You know, I once knew a woman who could swallow a sword,” you said, examining your own blade in the low light of the cell. “I think in another life, I could do it.”

“Let’s not try tonight, okay?” Negan said, lowering the blade with his fingertips as he sipped from the clear jar you had brought him.

There was too much drama going on at the moment with Alpha, her Walkers, and of course, just trying to stay sane in all of it. Nevertheless, you still found time to indulge in the man that you loved. 

Showing up at his cell once it became dark was a normal thing, but the jar of moonshine that you had brought along with you was a change. A very welcomed one at that. You and Negan now sat on the floor of the cell, your backs against the cot, basking in the alcohol as it warmed your veins. 

“I still think this shit is highly dangerous,” Negan said, passing you the jar back. 

“It’s flammable too,” you said with a small laugh as you leaned against him. “Learned that the hard way.”

“Do tell,” he urged and you sunk further into him, getting comfortable. Negan slung an arm around you, keeping you close. 

“Eugene used to keep it outside of Alexandria in an old electrical box thing,” you explained, trying not to slur your words. “One day, he asked me if I would help him move some of it to Hilltop. I think Jesus or Alden wanted some. Anyways, us being morons, went out in a thunderstorm.”

“Which of course was not your favourite plan,” Negan said. 

“Right,” you agreed. “So, we were on our way to the place that he was holding it in when Eugene suddenly realized he had forgotten to take the big metal antenna off the top of the box.”

“Oh no,” Negan said, running his hand over the back of your neck as he listened. 

“We were about fifteen or so feet from the thing when lightning strikes and the spark lights the booze causing a massive fire. The worst part was that Eugene was also storing some leftover fuel at this place for Daryl’s bike and well…” you trailed off, making explosion movements with your hands. “I smelled like burning metal for three days.” Negan started laughing at that and you looked up at him, trying to see his face. You always loved it when he laughed. 

Reaching up, you ran your hand over his face and he turned towards you. “You are just…” you trailed off. 

“I’m what?” he asked, raising an eyebrow as he gazed down at you. 

“Unpredictable,” you whispered. “You surprise and amaze me every damn day.” 

“That’s good though, right?” he asked, tilting his head. 

“It’s very good,” you said. “I’m not cut out to deal with the mundane.”

“Good cause you are anything but ordinary,” he said softly. The moonshine in your system was forgotten as those hazel eyes bore into yours. He was like the sun and you were trapped in his gravity. 

“You know that I’m always going to be here for you, right?” you asked.

“I know,” he whispered. 

“I just need you to understand that I trust you with my life and more,” you said, sitting up more. “I know that things are going to get messy with the Whisperers, but I think we’re gonna get through it. Especially if we stick together. I think we can win this war.” Negan wrapped his hands around your waist, pulling you into his lap. Bracing your hands on his shoulders, you ran your fingers through his hair. 

“I know, (Y/N),” he said. Tightening his grip, Negan made sure to be looking you in the eyes, something he always did when he was completely earnest. “I don’t know what I would do without you. For a while, I thought that there wasn’t a future for me besides these four walls, but you changed that. I love you so much and I know that you are right. We will win this war, no matter what it takes.” 

Smiling down at him, you leaned in to kiss him softly. “I love you, too,” you whispered against his lips as he pressed you harder against him. You laughed as he grabbed the bottom of your shirt and pulled it over your head before kissing you again. 

The moonshine on his lips was sweet but full of fire which was a perfect metaphor for the strong man that you gave your entire body and soul to…

A loud crash came from your right as a pile of lumber fell over near the windmill, taking you out of your memories. 

“Ya good?” Daryl said from beside you as he added fletching to his bolts. 

“Fine,” you said, running a hand down your face, trying to break out of the trance you had been in. 

It had been a day since Negan had gotten out, or was let out, and you didn’t know how to even begin to understand what was going on inside his head, let alone yours. 

The last time Negan had left, you had been angry, but now you were just confused. Something didn’t feel right about any of it. Negan wasn’t a saint, everyone knew that, but he wasn’t stupid and he wasn’t heartless. Multiple scenarios went through your mind after Gabriel told you what happened. 

Lydia had tried to take the blame, but you had barely slept that night and would have woken if she had snuck out at some point. Then there was the fact that you didn’t hear anyone below the Grimes house all night. So, if someone had let him out, it was definitely a planned maneuver. 

Negan getting out was something that you wanted to happen, but you wanted it to happen on your terms. You and Negan would have had to make the decision together. The two of you had even talked about running and staying gone for a while so tensions could calm down. You’d go North, see what was in New York or Philly. You always thought that you would come back a year or so later and things would be different.

It was reckless and an idea that you didn’t think you’d ever actually do, but it was still in your mind. Negan had cautioned you against thinking such things. You figured he was afraid that you were going to alienate your family for him. What he didn’t understand was that he was your family and if he could be free, it would be worth it. 

At least, that’s what you told yourself. 

Now, you weren’t so sure what all those words he said to you meant. Did he even want to get out with you or was he using you? No, Negan would never use you. He had promised that you were different from all the relationships he had had in the past and the man never lied. 

And yet, maybe he had been lying the whole time. 

Your brain felt as if it was on one of those rickety carnival rides from your childhood as it invented theory after theory, trying to soothe curiosities. It was disorientating and it was also making it difficult to focus.

Leaning your hands on the table before you, you picked up one of Daryl’s bolts, turning it over in your hands as you wondered what it would feel like to put one of them between Beta’s eyes. 

“(Y/N),” Daryl said again and you dropped the projectile. 

“Sorry,” you said, rolling out your neck. 

“Ya need rest,” he said, trying to offer some comfort, but you didn’t want it or need it. Daryl was also not the cuddly kind of person at the moment. 

“I need to find him, I need to find Beta,” you said. Daryl narrowed his eyes, confused. 

“I’m not sure that’s a great idea,” he said, remembering his own fight with Alpha’s second in command. 

“I think it is,” you said with defiance. “Beta threatened me; he put his hands on me and I am not going to let him breathe any longer than he has to.”

“He threatened all of us,” Daryl said, but you shook your head. 

“This was...different. The way he looked at me that night, it was as if he was challenging me to try something. He reminded me of the Governor. Beta has that twistedness inside of him, I could practically smell it.”

“He threw me around like I was nothing,” Daryl reminded you.

“Well, I’m not you, am I?” you said, facing him. “Beta dies by my hand even if I have to build my own damn rifle and take the shot.” 

“Revenge doesn’t look good on you,” he said. 

“It’s not revenge, it’s inevitably,” you clarified. Daryl sighed, but he could tell that you set in your ways about this. 

“I’m sorry I was right about Negan,” Daryl said after a moment. 

“You weren’t,” you disagreed. 

“Come on…” he said with a knowing look. 

“You don’t know him, Daryl, I do, and I know that he had a reason. He wouldn’t have left me if he didn’t.”

“You don’t know that,” he challenged. 

“I do,” you said. “I know him more than I know myself. I don’t know why he’s gone, but I don’t think he just left to get away from Alexandria. With Negan, there’s always a fucking reason. That’s what makes him… him.”

“Don’t hold onto hope, (Y/N),” Daryl said. Looking at him, you shrugged.

“Right now, that’s all I got.”

------

The outside felt different this time for Negan. 

The last time he had gotten out of his cell, it was on a whim. Now, he had a direction and a purpose and he was going to damn well fulfil it this time. If he didn’t, you were definitely going to hate him forever.

Leaving you had been the hardest thing he’s done since he’s been locked up. However, when Carol stepped out of the darkness with her offer, he saw something that he had only seen in you. 

Possibility. 

Killing Alpha ensured the survival of Alexandria, Hilltop, and Oceanside and while all of those people couldn’t care less about Negan, there were a few that did and that made a difference. You, Judith, Lydia, and all the kids would be safe. Carol would have revenge for her son’s murder too. While Negan knew he wasn’t going to be winning any popularity contests with these people, he owed them, whether they cared or not. 

However, while he was doing it for them, he was also doing it for himself. He needed to know if he was worthy of being the hero, rather than just the sucker. 

It wasn’t just you that Negan was thinking about though, he was also thinking about Lucille. His late wife was the only other person who knew him as well as you did. Lucille saw the man that he could have become but never did due to his own faults. Negan had been a horrible husband to her, but he was willing to do better this time. 

In no way were you a do-over, but he did see the relationship that he had with you as a chance to finally be the man Lucille knew he could be. He just hoped that you would not end up hating him as Lucille did. He didn’t think he’d be able to handle losing you, not after everything he had done and lost to find you. 

Still, there was still that fear in his gut that he would not succeed on this mission. Alpha could take one look at him and take his head as she had with the others months before. That thought scared him, but he didn’t fear death, he feared leaving you behind without an explanation. Negan was ready if it came down to it and as much as he knew it would pain you, he needed to take the risks. 

“‘To die will be an awfully big adventure’,” Negan quoted as he turned his face to the sun. You had found an old battered copy of Peter Pan not that long ago. You had spent nights in his cell reading him passages from the classic and now Barrie’s words were ringing true. With a sigh, Negan continued on through the woods, trying to formulate his plan. 

Just as he turned down a small hill, however, a voice stopped him.

“Gotcha!” a male voice said and Negan froze, swearing under his breath. Raising his hands, he was ready to take the person down and run if he had to. “Don't try anything,” the man said before he began to laugh. Confused, Negan turned and who he saw made him drop his hands. 

“You gotta be fuckin’ kiddin’ me,” Negan muttered, “Brandon?”

The young guard from Alexandria, who was carrying a backpack, smiled at Negan. “The look on your face! Dude, seriously, I'm just messin' with you!” he said.

“What are you doin’?” Negan asked, but Brandon was still talking. 

“You're fast. Took me forever to catch up,” Brandon said. “So, prison break part two, huh?” Negan rolled his eyes and turned away from the kid, continuing on his way, but of course, Brandon followed.

---------

“My dad, he used to tell me how, like, you and the Saviors would, like, whistle back and forth before,” Brandon said as he kept pace with Negan who was trying very hard not to slap him silly.

“That was a long time ago,” Negan said with a huff. 

“I mean, not that long ago though, right?” Brandon tried as Negan didn’t bother with an answer.

“You, uh you say you had some granola or some shit?” Negan asked. Brandon quickly began rustling through his bag, eager to please. 

“Sorry about the raisins and the busted knife. Was kinda in a rush when I packed it all,” Brandon said as he handed Negan some food and the weapon he had brought from Alexandria. 

“It’s fine,” Negan said, waving him off. 

“So, you're really not gonna tell me how you got outta that cell?” Brandon asked, but Negan stayed quiet, not giving the kid an inch. You really didn’t like Brandon and Negan was starting to see why. Sure, he was annoying, but Negan already knew that. Now he was starting to see him as who he really was, a leech. 

“Alright,” Brandon continued, “well, at least tell me what we're lookin' for.”

“Someplace safe,” Negan said. Carol had given him freedom, but the plan was completely up to him. Considering how his day went after the first time he got out, he was getting a bit nervous. 

“I get it. A new Sanctuary,” said Brandon. “Damn, how badass was that place? And then, Rick Grimes comes along, talk about hypocrisy, kills our parents, drags us to Alexandria, lectures us about community.”

“Grimes was a good man,” Negan commented, not allowing the kid to tarnish Rick’s name. No matter what they thought of each other, Rick deserved respect. 

“I guess,’ Brandon shrugged. “Man, I heard you made him cut his own kid's hand off, then you killed them,” he said and Negan froze. “You know, Carl Grimes, I heard you shot him.” 

Negan whirled on the kid, shoving him against a nearby tree. “I never did that,” Negan sneered. “I don’t give a shit about what kind of fucked up rumors you’ve heard. Carl was... I would never kill a kid.”

Brandon was staring up at Negan and the latter was glad to see a bit of fear in the kid’s eyes. People could hate on him all they wanted, but the Grimes family were good people, are good people, and he respected them too much to listen to any slander. 

Especially about Carl. 

“Yeah, no, definitely. I'm with you, obviously. We're both Negan,” Brandon said and Negan felt sick. They walked on once Negan let him go, but Brandon was still pushing. “Did you talk to (Y/N) before you left?”

“Excuse me?” Negan asked, looking over his shoulder at the kid. 

“I just mean, do they know why you left?”

“I’m not seeing how that’s any of your business, kid,” Negan snapped. Brandon fell quiet then but soon spoke up when the two men came across an odd sight. 

“Who would do this?” Brandon asked as he looked down at the makeshift fence. Wrapped in barbed wire, wooden posts acted as a barrier and Negan immediately knew what it meant.

“Whisperers,” Negan said. 

“Damn. Should we cross? The enemy of my enemy is my friend?” Brandon offered. 

“No,” Negan said but made a point to remember the location. “We’re not equipped to deal with them.”

“They’re just people.”

“People who can blend in with the Dead,” Negan pointed out. “I’m not sure we can consider them human at his point.”

“Right, like that Lydia chick,” Brandon snipped and before Negan could go off on him, Walkers converged on them. Brandon slid to the side as the Dead fell upon Negan. The weight of the Walkers nearly brought him down, but Negan was able to eventually overpower them.

Once the Dead were finally down, Negan turned to Brandon and he was pissed. “What the hell!” he said. 

“Sorry, sorry, I was just getting your gift ready,” Brandon said as he showed Negan what was in his hand. Negan straightened up as he saw the baseball bat. A bat that was freshly wrapped in the wire of Alpha’s border. “I also got this,” Brandon said as he pulled out a leather jacket. “Found it in the back of an old storage garage. My dad said he never saw you without it.”

Suddenly, Negan got an idea. Before Rick locked him up, he was good at a lot, but the best thing was charming his way into places. However, that charm had disappeared after the many years locked away. Now, looking at the jacket and the new bat, Negan finally realized what he would need to do to get to Alpha. 

He would have to become the Negan everyone once feared. Although, not just yet. 

“Listen,” Negan said, “uh why don't you just put that in your backpack? I don't wanna be recognized.” 

“You like it, though, right?” Brandon asked, sounding like a damn groupie. 

“More than you know.”

———-

Negan and Brandon kept moving. 

“Did anyone see you leave?” Negan asked, not wanting Aaron or Daryl to be tracking them. That was the last thing Negan needed. 

“Nah,” Brandon said, “but the bitch with the baby did see me come out of my house. Not sure she cares.”

“Her name is Rosita,” Negan corrected, surprising himself. Since the blizzard, he had been thinking about Miss Espinosa. Rosita had as much reason to hate Negan as Maggie did, but Negan began to think that perhaps the new mother was just as tired of being outwardly hostile as he was. 

“Right,” said Brandon. “Sorry man, I thought you didn’t like her.”

“No, she doesn’t like me, there’s a difference,” Negan said. 

“Is there?” 

“I only had problems with a few of those people. Rosita was not one of them.”

“I heard a story that she shot at you,” Brandon said and Negan snorted at the memory. 

“That she did,” Negan said. “Though, I did murder someone in front of her so I guess I deserved it.” 

“And now she’s with a priest. Weird.”

“Gabe is alright,” Negan said. In fact, besides you and Lydia, Gabriel was the closest thing he had to a friend. He had thought he was making headway with Aaron, but he could never get a proper read on that man. 

In fact, there was one person whom he actually did want to properly speak to and that was Ezekiel. There was something about the king that made him incredibly curious. However, after the death of his son, Negan didn’t even know what he would say to him.

You had always said that Ezekiel was a good man and a fair one. Negan began to wonder what the tiger-wrangler would have done with him if it had been up to him and not Rick. Those thoughts were interrupted when he and Brandon heard screaming. 

“Sounds like a girl,” Brandon said. 

“And a kid,” Negan said as he heard the second yell. Negan took off towards the sound, anxious to find the source. It didn’t take long for him to find it. An abandoned bus stood broken down in an old lot. Inside, he could hear screams of panic and the unmistakable groans of Walkers. 

Negan didn’t hesitate to run towards the bus, hauling himself up the steps of the old vehicle. In the back, a woman cowered before the Walker as a young boy hid with her. Negan headed straight down the aisle, grabbing the creature by its shoulders. The rotting jaw snapped at its new attacker, but Negan was stronger. Throwing it towards the open back door, Negan slammed it to the floor and used the accordion door to smash its brains to bits. 

The shouts of alarm were replaced by heavy breathing and then small sobs as the woman clutched at her child. “Thank you,” she cried, “thank you.” Negan, who was breathing heavily nodded to her, offering her a squeeze on the arm that she reached towards him. Amongst the gratitude, Brandon was celebrating Negan’s gory display. 

Once Negan was able to get the mother and her son calm and situated, he pulled Brandon aside. 

“So, what’s the plan here, boss?” Brandon asked. 

“What are you talking about?”

“Rob them? Take their shit and go, right?” Brandon offered. 

“It’s a mother and child,” Negan reminded him “Fuck kid, you really think that I’m going to hurt them?”

“I mean… that’s what you do,” Brandon said. 

“What I do is none of your goddamn business,” Negan said, stepping into his face again. “You know what, this isn’t exactly workin’ out, is it? I think you need to get lost, find your own damn celebrity so you can lick their fucking boots. I’m done.”

“I can’t just go home, they’ll know I helped you!” Brandon said, stopping Negan before he could leave him behind. 

“Then don’t go home,” Negan said. “You’re free, kid, go wherever the fuck you want.” 

“I thought I was helping you,” he said. 

“No, you’re not. I got my own shit to do and I can’t play babysitter. Do us both a favor and get the hell out of here,” Negan said before turning his back on the teen. Brandon hesitated for a few moments before hiking his bag up on his shoulders and walking away. Negan didn’t relax until his form disappeared into the surrounding brush. 

After Brandon had gone, Negan went to speak with the mother, helping her get comfortable as her son was in view just outside the bus. “Ya alright?” he asked. 

“Better now,” she said.

“How long have you been out here? You got people?” 

“It was just Milo and me. We'd been walking for days, weeks, until the hissers ran through our camp, scattered everyone to the winds. After that, we went back to what it was before, what it always is in the end, Milo and me, moving from place to place, surviving,” she said. 

“I’ve been there,” Negan said. “The wandering is the worst part.”

“How did you stop? The wandering,” she clarified. 

“That is a long story, but I did end up in a place that’s not too far from here. You and your boy seem like good people and if I know them, which I do, then they will help you,” Negan said. 

“Why would they?” she asked. 

“Because,” Negan said, “they’re the kind of people that save people.”

--------

Negan found Milo not that long after. 

“Hey,” he said, joining the kid. Milo looked at him with worry, but Negan offered his hands in a placating gesture. “Don't worry, kid. I don't bite. Your mom, she's inside, packin', so we got a little bit of time to kill,” Negan said. 

“Where'd Brandon go?” Milo asked, looking around. 

“Brandon, he went looking for supplies,” Negan said and then sighed, not liking the taste of lies on his tongue. “You know what? I'm gonna be real with you. Uh, I told Brandon to get lost. You see, uh, it turns out, not the best co-pilot, if you catch my drift.” Milo looked at him in confusion. “You don't catch my drift at all, do ya?”

“Not really,” Milo admitted. 

“You've never been on a plane, huh?” Negan asked and Milo shook his head again. “Aw, man, it's alright. It's not your fault that God turned this world into an asspit before you were born. Alright. Picture this, alright? Sitting on a plane, really nice, comfy seats, but it feels like you've been sitting on the runway for Goddamn ever. Suddenly, there's this kinda rumbling, a groan, alright? The plane finally starts to creep along, right, and now we're moving faster and faster. And you look out that window, and everything's turning into a blur. And then, Whew. Wheels come up off the ground. You are flying,” he said with a smile. 

“Like birds?” Milo asked. 

“Hell yeah like birds,” Negan said. “Up and up and up, higher and higher, until it feels like you are floating on top of the frickin' world. And you're looking out that little window, and you can see houses. They look like little toy houses and little toy cars.”

“Sounds scary,” Milo said. 

“No scarier than the hissers,” Negan said, using the nickname Milo’s mom had used. “I hope you’ll be able to experience it someday.” 

“Me too,” Milo said. Negan smiled down at the kid, reaching over to ruffle his hair. “Do you have kids?” 

“I don’t,” Negan said. “Though I do know a few and they are just as badass as you.”

“Are you married?” Milo asked, still curious.

“Not anymore,” Negan said, looking out over the dying world. “Though, I do have someone. Their name is (Y/N).”

“Where are they?” 

“Someplace safe,” Negan said. 

“Why aren’t you with them?”

“I gotta do something,” Negan explained. “Fix some things.”

“I get that,” Milo said, reaching over to pat Negan on the back, causing the latter to laugh.

“What is with you kids in this new world, you’re all so damn wise,” Negan said as he thought about Judith particularly. “Look, I told your mom about a place I know. They’ll help you and get you some food. They’re good people.”

“Are they your people?”

“A few are,” Negan said. “You’re gonna be okay, kid.” 

“Thank you for saving me and my mom,” Milo said and Negan smiled at him. 

“You are welcome, but if I don’t go and find some firewood, all three of us are gonna freeze tonight. Take care of your mom until I get back?” 

“I will,” Milo said. 

“Good man,” Negan teased as he got up and headed into the woods to hopefully find some warmth for the night.

------

Negan walked, grabbing wood as he found it, but it was taking too long and he needed to get back to Milo and his mother. 

As Negan began the trek back to the bus, a Walker shuffled out of the trees. Pulling the old knife that Brandon had given him, he let the Walker approach him. “You bastards just get more ugly by the day,” Negan grunted as it grabbed for him. Negan kicked out its legs and shoved his blade in the rotting skull. Kneeling down, Negan searched the Dead woman’s coat. He was hoping to find a lighter or matches, but what he found instead made him laugh. 

Inside her coat pocket was a broken hatchet. It looked as if she had hit something too hard with it and broke the handle. However, the blade was still intact and Negan could see dried blood in the etching. Holding the hatchet, he began to think about another hatchet-wielding maniac he once tousled with. 

“Look at me, Rick,” Negan said to the empty woods, “I’m trying to be the fuckin’ hero. If Carl could see me now…” Negan left the broken weapon behind as he hauled his firewood back into his arms and headed back to the kid and his mom. 

Negan walked with steady steps, ready to finally get some rest. However, as he approached the lot, something felt wrong. It was too quiet and as Negan turned the corner, the wood in his arms crashed to the ground. 

Laying in pools of their own blood, Milo and his mother were dead, their vacant eyes gazing up at the sky. Standing above them, holding a tire iron, was Brandon. The teen was beaming with pride as he looked at the man before him. Negan, however, was only seeing red as he saw the child’s body crumpled on the floor. 

“That's it, right?” Brandon asked. “You almost had me. Back on the bus, when you kicked me out. Then I remembered, This is Negan. He's always messing with people, keeping 'em in line.” Negan began to stalk towards Brandon, his body moving on its own accord. 

“So I realized there's a test,” Brandon continued. “‘It's gonna get a lot more dangerous from here on out.’ That's what you said to me. You wanted to make sure that I had the balls to do what had to be done. What do you think? I passed, right?” Brandon said with glee as he stared down at his victims. Negan bent over and picked up a large rock, weighing it in his hand as he approached the lunatic. “I am Neg‒” Brandon tried to finish as Negan swung and hit him over the head with the rock. 

Brandon went down hard, blood oozing from his head, but Negan had to finish the job. With a few more hits, the brain was damaged and Brandon was dead with no possibility of returning. The rage that he was feeling was too overwhelming. The mother was bad enough, but a child? Milo was as pure as they came. Brandon hadn’t killed them, he had stolen them and Negan wasn’t going to allow that. 

Blood was splattered on Negan’s clothes and face, but he kept moving. He grabbed Brandon’s bag, pulling out the black leather jacket. Taking it in his hands he admired it for just a moment before sliding it across his broad shoulders. 

The feel of the leather on his back was both familiar and terrifying. However, he knew it was needed and so, he zipped it up the way he used to and from the bag, pulled his new weapon. 

Lucille 2.0.

The menacing weapon felt familiar. She would never be what his original was, but she would do if he was going to pull off the performance of a lifetime. “Takin’ one for a team that would rather see me in a grave. Oh, how things have fuckin’ changed,” Negan said as he swung the bat up to his shoulder as he looked down at his newest victim. 

Negan raised his head, leaned into one of his legs and then headed towards his destination. A destination fenced with barbed wire. 

----------

“Alright, you sorry, rotten sacks of shit! What's a fella gotta do to get eaten around here?” Negan announced as he wandered through the darkness. Waiting until nightfall, Negan had prepared himself for what he was about to do.  

“What's the matter? Huh?” he continued. “Y'all scared of the Big Bad Wolf? Little pig, little pig! Let me in!” he yelled as he moved over the border and into Alpha’s territory, letting his voice travel. “And there you are!” Negan said as he finally noticed the Walkers and in the moonlight, blades appeared in some of their hands. “Oh, I am gonna huff. I am gonna puff. I am gonna blow your house all the way down!” 

Out of the darkness came a large shape and Negan immediately knew who it was. You had described him so much that Negan felt as if he practically knew the asshole. 

Beta. 

“Alright, you big-ass freak,” Negan said as he stared down Alpha’s right hand in the dark. With a deep breath and your face at the forefront of his mind, Negan gripped his new Lucille and grinned. “Here we go.”

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[bonjour-rainycity]

The Long Way Around ~ Chapter 4

Link to previous part: https://bonjour-rainycity.tumblr.com/post/623116614605357056/the-long-way-around-chapter-3

Pairing: Jasper x Reader

Word count: 2092

Warnings: None

Y/n’s POV

The next three weeks pass in a now predictable sequence. I spend the majority of my time getting to know my new roommates, for lack of a better word. Esme, who is quickly becoming my favorite, does whatever I want with me. We read books, watch movies, go for runs in the woods. The doctor, Carlisle, isn’t home very often. He and Edward spend a lot of time in town making sure the Cullens are not suspect in my disappearance. They decided it would be best to continue ‘business as usual’ to avoid suspicion, but also so they don’t have to give up the advantageous location in the woods and risk moving with me. Bella tends to keep to herself, though she does occasionally join Esme and I in our book club. Alice and Arthur are quite friendly, and I enjoy spending time with them, even if Alice does treat me like a Barbie doll. I swear, I’ve never owned more clothes in my life! Rosalie is slowly warming up to me. She’s not rude, exactly, but I can tell my presence is hard on her. Her husband, Emmett, is a whole lot of fun. He invites me for races and arm wrestling matches which, obviously, I win. I suspect that won’t continue forever, though. Once my newborn strength fades, he will likely be the strongest in the house. 

Then, of course, there’s my shadow. Jasper doesn't say much, but he is a constant presence. I can tell he doesn’t trust me. The minute I get frustrated or upset he invades my personal space and uses his ability to calm me down. I do resent it slightly, but I understand the need. It’s as he says: I’m dangerous. It amuses me though to know that, as Jasper has taken the task upon himself to never leave my side, he has to do everything I do. So he watches sappy movies with Esme and I, he sits quietly while Emmett and I play board games, he sulks in the corner while I ask Alice endless questions about her psychic ability, and, of course, he hunts with me about four times a week. 

My bloodlust is insatiable. This newfound life and the thirst that accompanies it keeps me in a near constant state of pain. My throat burns badly, and, even when I am drinking animal blood, the burn remains. I have a feeling that, at this stage of life, not even human blood would satisfy my thirst. 

At the thought of human blood, a delicacy so far denied to me, venom pools in my mouth. From across the room, Jasper shifts uncomfortably, feeling my desire. I imagine it must be harder for him than the others, because he not only has to fight his own bloodlust, but everyone else’s. 

He eyes me evenly. “Do you want to hunt?”

“I’m fine,” I lie. We just went yesterday, and I feel like a burden asking people to go with me constantly. I usually have an entourage of three minimum when I hunt, and I can tell it interrupts the daily flow of things. 

Jasper’s eyes don’t leave mine. “Taking you hunting isn’t a burden. Trust me, we would much rather go with you twenty times a day than have you get too thirsty and lose control.” 

I purse my lips at his uncanny ability to know what I’m thinking. I know his emotional radar detector must help, but seriously, sometimes he rivals Edward. 

“It would probably be a good idea,” I acquiesce. “I’ll go see if anyone else wants to go.” I push myself off the kitchen floor-I had been busy reading through one of Esme’s architecture journals-and walk into the living room where Emmett, Rosalie, Carlisle, Esme, and Arthur are gathered around the TV. 

“Hey does anyone wanna-” My words die as I register the news anchor’s words. 

“The search continues for local Y/n, Y/l/n, who was reported missing over three weeks ago.”

It feels like the breath has been knocked out of me. I grip the back of the couch, grief ripping through me. Five vampires turn their wary gazes at me.

“Turn it off.” Jasper’s command comes from behind my shoulder. 

“No,” I breathe, deeply hurt but desperate to know what my friends and family could be seeing.

The anchor continues. “Authorities say they have a man in custody who confessed to stabbing the woman, though claims he can’t remember what he did with the body. Witnesses to the crime seem to suffer the same memory loss. Police have refused to offer further comments, though locals speculate a conspiracy or the presence of illegal drugs. While the two witnesses to the crime, Kaitlyn Myers and Blake Hannigan, have faced backlash surrounding their involvement in the case, police have cleared them as suspects at this time.”

The couch snaps under my grip. I take two quick steps back, shocked by what I just heard and the jarring display of my physical power. 

“Oh, sweetie.” Esme is in front of me instantly, reaching out to envelop me in a hug. Before I can even blink, Jasper is standing between us, acting as a barrier to Esme. 

Hurt pierces through my gut. He only sees me as a threat.

“I’m not going to hurt Esme, Jasper. Back off!” I wish my words didn’t waver. 

His voice is hard when he responds. “You don’t know what you’ll do. Newborns are governed by their emotions more than anyone else. I’m not taking any risks.”

“Well how about getting to know me instead of just generalizing?” I throw my hands up, properly yelling now. “I’m sick of feeling like I’m a prisoner with you. Everyone else is giving me a chance, so why can’t you?” I spit the words out, my hurt growing by the second. 

“We’re hoping it’s all a terrible dream, that we’ll wake up soon and everything will be alright.” 

They hadn’t turned off the TV. On the screen is a video of my parents. Hearing my mom’s tearful voice is like a kick to the stomach. I sink to the floor, gasping for air I don’t need. 

“I just want our little girl to come home.” Mom’s voice breaks, and she stares into the camera. It’s like she’s staring right at me. 

“Jasper, it’s alright, really. I appreciate your concern very much but I promise, it’s alright.” Esme’s soft voice vaguely reaches me through my sobs. 

A pair of arms-Esme’s, likely-envelopes me, but I barely take notice. I only feel the pain. It’s so much worse than the burn in my throat. It almost has me wishing for the fiery torture I felt while becoming a vampire. But wishing very seldom equates to reality, so I’m left to allow the gaping hole in my chest to consume me.

I don’t know how long we stay like that, only that it’s dark when I finally regain control of myself. Esme never left my side, and even Rosalie had come to join us at some point. She says nothing, only rests her head on my shoulder and holds my hand. 

Jasper is noticeably absent. 

“I think I scared him off,” I mumble, guilty. 

“He’ll recover,” Rosalie replies, sounding unconcerned. 

“He’s coming from the right place,” Esme assures. “Jasper is a very passionate person who gives his all in everything. This is no different. I think he sees keeping you and us safe as a chance to redeem himself for his past indiscretions, though those are long-ago forgiven. He’s trying to keep you from making the same mistakes he did.” 

I look at the floor, mulling Esme’s words over. I don’t really know what to say to that.

Thankfully, Rosalie saves me from having to craft a response. “Do you still want to hunt? I can go with you.” 

I smile and shake my head, exhausted from the recent emotional turmoil. “No, it’s okay. I think I’ll just go to bed.” I say the word lightly, knowing I’ll probably just spend the next eight hours reading or something to keep my mind busy. 

I stand, intending to exit the room. On the way out I see the poor couch, broken in two. I grimace. “Sorry about the couch.”

Esme smiles sweetly, waving it off. “Don’t worry about it. It just gives me an excuse to go shopping.” 

I give her a quick hug, grateful for her endless kindness and patience. 

Once upstairs in the room Alice and Esme courteously set up for me, I flop on the bed, grabbing the nearest book. I do my best to let my mind go blank and focus only on the words in front of me. About two hours into this exercise, I hear a soft knock on the door. 

Jasper stands in the frame, looking repentant. “I’m sorry. You were right. I haven’t tried to know you. But I’ve got some time now if you’re free.” It’s then that I realize he means to do this now. Not wanting to smile because I really am still upset with him, I bite it back. 

I decide to play coy instead. “I suppose I could clear my schedule. Though, a little more groveling might help…”

He smiles softly, almost hesitantly. With exaggerated movements, he gets on his knees and clasps his hands together in an excellent show of desperation. “Please do me the magnificent honor...of telling me your favorite color.” 

Now I can’t help but crack a smile. “You may approach, peasant, but remember that my good grace can easily change.” I pat the foot of my bed, and he sits, facing me. “It’s green. Like trees and moss and emeralds.” 

“What’s your favorite thing about this new life?”

“The running. I had asthma as a human but now I can run for as long as I want and be completely fine.” 

He nods, filing the information away. “If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you be?”

I answer without hesitation. “London. The culture, the history, the accents.” He chuckles, teasingly exasperated. “I bet it’s amazing.” 

He smiles, a faraway look in his eyes. “Oh it’s great. I was there back in the ‘90s...I bet it hasn’t changed too much though.” He grins. “Maybe in a couple of years we’ll all be able to take a trip.”

I look down at my fingers. “Maybe a few more years than a ‘couple’. I can’t even think of human blood without…” Venom floods my mouth. I offer a humorless chuckle. “See?”

Jasper shakes his head emphatically. “No, you’re really doing good.” I try to protest, but he shakes it off. “I wouldn’t say it if it weren’t true. You are doing remarkably well for three weeks in.” 

I sigh, ready to tease him a bit. “Well I couldn’t do so well without my shadow micromanaging my every move.” 

He smiles sheepishly and looks at his lap. “I’m sorry I seem a bit…,” he sighs deeply, “intense. I will try to ease off.”

I grin, pulling my knees up to my chest. “Thank you. I’ll try to be a little less emotionally hectic. It’s gotta be hard on you.” 

Too quickly, he shrugs. “Don’t worry about it. You’re going through a lot, it’s okay.” 

I chuckle, feeling much lighter now, either thanks to his ability or the natural resolution of tension between us, I don’t know. “Yeah well I could stay away from the movies that make me feel all the things.” Now he grins, raising his eyebrows. “Next time we’ll try something bland, like High Noon.”

“Hey now.” Jasper raises a hand, a comically disbelieving look on his face. “High Noon is a masterpiece, don’t knock it.” 

I grin broadly, smacking him on the shoulder with a pillow. “I knew you were a Western guy! Gosh, that’s gotta be like, what, forty percent of your personality?”

He rolls his eyes good-naturedly, taking the pillow from me. “Mhm, somewhere around there.” 

I like this Jasper, I decide firmly. This new, witty, freer Jasper is so much more fun to be around. I could stand to have this Jasper follow me around all day. 

As if he has come to the same agreement, that Jasper stays at the foot of my bed well past the time the sun rises, talking and joking. We get to know each other. 

And, for a while, I forget about how sad I am and the near constant burning in the back of my throat.

A/n Thanks for reading! I’m having so much fun with this story and I’m glad you guys are enjoying it, too! Please let me know what you thought of this chapter and if you would like to be added to the tag list!

xx, 

Bjr

Link to next part: https://bonjour-rainycity.tumblr.com/post/623283543296049154/the-long-way-around-chapter-5

Tag list: @puer-de-infinitate @charliestuff @hindustani-diaspora @one-thread-can-save-a-life

[imaginationofacrazyfangirl]

A Helping Hand- Chapter One

◇ Jungkook x reader ◇ Neighbor AU ◇ 5K {1/?}

Summary: The minute the word ‘fuck’ slipped from your daughter’s lips Jungkook saw his life flash before his eyes. He’d been in love with you for a while and the last way he wanted you to find out was by your daughter telling you two to fuck. Seriously he was going to kill Jimin for ever telling her that.

Warnings: Fluff alert

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“Ha-eun, I swear if you unlock that front door, I’ll put you straight in time out.” You warned upon hearing the familiar click of the deadbolt unlocking.

  A second later the sound of it relocking was heard followed by your daughter huffing impatiently. At six years-old Ha-eun already acted like a teenager stifled by their parents’ babying, and while she tested as smarter than those her age, Ha-eun would always remain your little girl. She was the light of your life. One of the few good things to ever happen to you, but that didn’t stop Ha-eun from driving you crazy sometimes.

   “Hurry up, we’re going to be late, mommy!” Ha-eun ordered with a stomp of her foot.

“You did not just stomp your foot at me, young lady.” You called out, putting the finishing touches of your makeup on. Taking one last glance at the mirror to make sure you look as professional as possible, you grabbed your purse and headed to the living room where your  daughter waited expectantly.

   Ha-eun glared at you arms folded over her chest. Her lips pursed together in away that would make the Karen’s of the world jealous. When she finally did grow up, Ha-eun undoubtedly would be a force to be reckoned with. For now though, you couldn’t take her seriously  with her sailor moon backpack and light up shoes. “You took forever getting ready.” Ha-eun bemoaned, “Now Kookie is going to think I’m the reason we’re late.”

  You rolled your eyes. “Well excuse me your majesty. I only woke up, cooked breakfast, cleaned, and  put your hair in bear buns before getting ready for work-which may I remind you pays so we can live here.”

     Ha-eun’s dark eyes narrowed. “I hate it when you use mom-scuses.”

      “So do I, but unfortunately I’m a mom and I kinda like my kid for some reason.”

An exasperated sigh escaped her along with an eye roll. Yup, she definitely was six going on sixteen. “Can we go now? I want to see Kookie.”

  “Wow, I see how loved I am.” You teased unlocking the door. You bit back whatever comment you had about her seeing the young man only yesterday. In all honesty, you couldn’t blame Ha-eun for liking him so much. The boy next door was wonderful in ways that drove you crazy. He personified prince charming, and the girl who won his heart would undoubtedly be the luckiest thing on the planet.

  The thought brought a bitter taste to your mouth, but you pushed it back. As handsome and amazing Jeon Jungkook was, he remained four years your junior. You highly doubted he saw you as anything more than the Noona next door. Moreover Jungkook had unlimited potential to go far in life. Something you gave up when you dropped out of college to raise Ha-eun. “Stop it. There’s no point in thinking about such things.” You murmured slapping your cheeks.

    Ha-eun gave you a curious look. “Thinking about what, mommy?”

You give her a cheesy grin. “Nothing baby, mommy’s being silly.”

“Oh, okay.” Ha-eun said, sounding not entirely convinced. Thankfully she turned her attention to the front door leading to your neighbor’s apartment. “Can I knock now?”

  “Of course, I’m surprised you haven’t yet.” That earned you another eye roll. You swore one day your daughter would get her eyes stuck from rolling them so hard.

  Standing as prim as possible Ha-eun knocked on the door. On the third knock the door swung open to reveal your neighbor dressed in a white shirt and torn jeans. His dark brown hair a messy mop that suggested he had yet to brush it. Your mouth dried at the sight as arousal pooled between your legs. Subsciously you closed them embarrassed by how easily turned on you were.        

    “Ha-eun! (Y/N)! Good to see you this morning.”” he cheered, eyes lighting up. His plush lips split into a wide bunny like smile. It only made your situation worse. Seriously it should be illegal to be this attractive so early in the morning.

   “Jungkook.” You nodded, swallowing back your desire. “Thanks again for helping watch Ha-eun on such short notice. I swear I’ll pay you when I pick her up tonight-”

   He raised a hand silencing you. “Nuh-uh, you know I don’t accept your money. I enjoy hanging out with Ha-eun, she’s the best teammate a guy could ask for.”

   “Yeah, Mom. I’m the best. Last time I helped used my blue shell in Mario Kart to help Kookie defeat Hobi-oppa.” Ha-eun smiled smugly.

    “That’s wonderful, Ha-eun.” You said, attention still focused on the boy. “Seriously though, let me pay you. I mean you are giving up your weekend to play with a six year-old. It can’t be how you wanted to spend your Saturday.”

  Jungkook shrugged, “I’m not really one for socializing. If it weren’t for my old fraternity brothers, work and home would be the only places I’d go to.”

  You smiled, trying to picture Jungkook as a hermit. As much as he claimed not to like people, he certainly had a lot of friends. Ha-eun always mentioned some new person she met while hanging out with her favorite babysitter. “Still...let me do something to repay you. You do so much for us, I feel like I am taking advantage of your kindness.”

   “You’re not, I promise.” He reassured. “But if you really want to repay me...a home-cooked meal would be nice.”

    Your smile widened. Jeon Jungkook really was a saint. “Deal. How does dinner with Ha-eun and I, Monday night sound?”

 “Sounds like my type of evening. I’ll bring dessert-”

You held up your hand, grinning as he blinked surprised. “Don’t you dare. I promised you dinner. Dinner includes desserts, drinks, and anything else edible you can think of.”

    “Alright. I got it. I’ll leave it to you.”  He chuckled, causing your heart to skip a beat. Yeah, you really needed to get laid. Too bad being a single mom puts a damper on that sort of thing.

  “You two are weird.” Ha-eun interrupted. “You should just fuck and get it over with.”

   Words can’t describe the embarrassment that washes over you, as well as the shock of hearing your six year-old say something so vulgar. Not only were you sure your face matched the lipstick you wore, but you no longer knew how to speak. Jungkook’s mouth hung open his tongue running across his bottom lip as if he wanted to say something. He didn’t appear embarrassed like you rather at a loss of what to do.

  ‘He probably doesn’t know how to respond without being rude.’ You lamented to yourself.

Sparing both of you even more embarrassment you turned to your troublemaking daughter. “Ha-eun (L/N), where did you learn such a thing?”

   She shrugged. “Jimin-oppa tells Kookie that all the time. By the way what does fuck mean?”

  “It means you’ll get a mouth full of soap if I ever hear you say that again.” You replied, not in the mood to explain the constructs of sex to your six year-old so soon. “Sorry about that Jungkook-”

    “No, I’m the one who should be apologizing! Jimin-hyung likes to joke around a lot, sometimes he says things without thinking.” Jungkook sputtered. “I promise I’ll have a word with him about it.”

  Ouch...well that hurt. “Please do. I mean I’m sure it’s all guy talk, and Ha-eun is probably supposed to be asleep when you guys talk, but please be more weary.” You lectured in your best mom voice.

    You weren’t too worried about it honestly. You met Jimin before, and knew he wasn’t a bad guy. Moreover you knew Jungkook wouldn’t expose Ha-eun to any bad influences, the young man acted rather protective of your daughter. Just one of the many things that attracted you to him.

     “Of course.” He promised.

“Thank you…” An awkward silence filled the air cueing you to leave. Bending down you kissed the crown of Ha-eun’s head. “I guess I should be off. As always behave. Don’t cause any trouble for Jungkook, you understand? And don’t ever say that word again.”

   Ha-eun gave her signature eye roll. “It would help if I knew what it meant.”

   “Ask me when your fifteen.” You deadpanned. Turning back to Jungkook you offered a small smile. “Thanks again. I really appreciate your help.”

  “Anytime.” He responded. “Like I said I enjoy Ha-eun’s company.”

With one last nod you left trying to ignore the painful pang in your heart. Funny how only a few simple words felt like a total rejection. It wasn’t like you seriously considered dating Jungkook in the first place. He was too young and you needed to focus on Ha-eun. So why did his dismissal hurt so much?

///

Jungkook wanted to die, but not before killing Jimin. He told the blonde time after to watch his mouth, especially when Ha-eun was over. The little girl hated bed-time, and would pop out of nowhere attempting to avoid it. So it came as no surprise she heard something not meant for little ears. It was Jungkook’s luck she heard his best friend advising him to fuck her mother. God...he wouldn’t blame you if you decided not to let him watch Ha-eun anymore.

  “Kookie, are you alright? You look sick.” Ha-eun asked, eyeing him suspiciously. “You’re not going to barf are you?”

  “I’m perfectly fine, Ha-eun. No barfing here.” Jungkook reassured, running a hand through his hair. His fingers tangled in its knots only bringing more ire to him. Great not only did Jimin’s mouth get him in trouble, but he looked like a hobo in front of you. What a great way to start the day.

    “Good, because Bon-Hwa threw up last year at school and….” she trailed off, detailing how a classmate barfed everywhere. Normally Jungkook listened to Ha-eun finding her stories quite entertaining, but his current level of self-hatred distracted him. He made a fool of himself in front of the woman he loved. There was no coming back from this.

    “Are you even  listening Kookie?” Ha-eun demanded to know.

  Jungkook turned from his thoughts to see the young girl pouting at him. “Sorry kiddo, wasn’t trying to ignore you.”

     “Uh-huh…” Ha-eun squinted. “You’ve been acting weird since I told mommy to-”

“Why don’t we go to the park? Maybe grandma will be there with Sami today?” Jungkook suggested. On many levels Jungkook considered Ha-eun his own, but that did not mean he wanted to have THE talk with Ha-eun.

  Thankfully it did the trick for Ha-eun ran to get her shoes on, her face beaming with excitement. The white samoyed was the closest thing she had to dog. Often Jungkook and Ha-eun would visit him and his owner (an old neighborhood woman) at the park. There they’d play catch or tug-o-war with Sami, until either Granny or Jungkook decided it was time to go home.  “Do you think I can feed him meat skewers again?!”

   “Ha-eun, we aren’t supposed to feed Sami in the first place.” Jungkook sighed. For such a brilliant girl, Ha-eun didn’t always think things through. He wondered if that was just her age or something she inherited from you. You were kind of scattered brained at times.

   “But Sami was a good dog. Good dogs get treats.” Ha-eun stated.

Jungkook shook his head. “They do, but not with my money okay?”

   The (h/c) haired  girl shrugged, but said nothing more. She was definitely plotting something though. “Ready Kookie?”

    “Ready.” Jungkook smiled, taking her hand. It always amazed him how full of life Ha-eun was. You would think someone so small would tire easily, but Ha-eun had a thirst for life that neither naptime or bedtime could quench. She was truly something.

//

   "We need more bread! Kookie loves bread." Ha-eun ordered, dissatisfied with the small amount placed on the table. The small girl decided to take it upon herself to ensure that tonight's dinner was nothing less than spectacular. Granted Ha-eun didn't cook a damn thing, but she did boss you around every chance possible.

  Normally you wouldn't condone such behavior, but the nerves for tonight reframed you from parenting duties. Ever since Saturday things between Jungkook and you have been awkward. Neither of you could really look each other in the eyes, let alone speak. In fact you were sure dinner would've been cancelled if not for Ha-eun excitedly reminding Jungkook about it the other day. The young man was a sucker for Ha-eun, and refused to upset her

  The doorbell rang jolting you to attention. Ha-eun let out a gleeful cry, "He's here. He's here!"

 Like Saturday morning you heard the familiar jiggling of locks along with the scraping of a chair being moved. "Ha-eun (L/N), we've talked about this. " You called out.

    "But it's Kookie!" She wailed.

"I don't care if it's Santa Claus himself, you do not open the front door without me. " You replied, walking over to the door. Ha-eun pouted, but wisely chose to keep her mouth shut. "And stop standing on chairs. They're for sitting not standing."

  "Okay moooom, can I open the door now?" Ha-eun pleaded.

 Shaking your head, you waved her off the chair. You unlocked the deadbolt, allowing Ha-eun to do the rest. The girl practically slammed the door open, startling both you and a well-dressed Jungkook behind it.  "Kookie!" Ha-eun launched herself at him, ignoring the shocked expression on his face.

   "Ha-eun!" Jungkook smiled, catching her with ease. His eyes yet again alit at the sight of her. It was the type of look you used to imagined Ha-eun's father giving, before everything went to hell: a look of love and pure adoration. The type of fatherly expression Ha-eun deserved.

   “Jungkook, I’m glad you could make it.” You greeted, pushing back the bittersweet feeling rummaging around your heart. Jungkook was not Ha-eun’s father. He was a kind neighbor boy who you needed to stop pushing your creepy emotions onto.

   Jungkook’s smile lessened a little as he shifted Ha-eun in his arms. “Noona, it’s good to see you. I wouldn’t miss Ha-eun for the world or your food.”

    You forced a smile. “Well, come in. Dinner’s about ready, I hope you like curry-”

“You’ve brought me flowers, Kookie?!” Ha-eun squealed. She pointed at a colorful bouquet of flowers on the ground. Their petals tousled from their inevitable drop when Jungkook caught her.

  “Crap-I mean darn it. They’re not supposed to look like that.” Jungkook muttered to himself as you picked it up.

   A giggle escaped you. “’I’m sure they weren’t expecting to get dropped in exchange for an excited six year-old. Besides…” You smelled them. “They’re still lovely.”

   The corners of his eyes crinkled as he gave a toothy grin. “I’m glad you like them. You said not to bring anything edible so I thought these might do.”

  "They're perfect. " You grinned, clutching the bouquet. How long had it been since you got flowers?

    “Hey! What about me?” Ha-eun protested.

Jungkook cocked an eyebrow. “Who?"

   Ha-eun stomped her foot thoroughly annoyed. "Me. Ha-eun! Your favorite person."

   You snorted. Ha-eun certainly didn't like anyone taking her Kookie's attention, but her. Hopefully it didn't develop into a thing when she got older. Maybe you spoiled her too much.

   "Aish...I haven't forgotten about you, kiddo. " he chuckled, pulling out a packet of butterfly hair clips from his pocket. "These are actually from Jimin. He wanted to say sorry for his potty mouth."

  She glanced over the packet, brows furrowed as they always did when Ha-eun made decisions. Jungkook and you shared a look, both you trying not to laugh. After a minute of contemplation Ha-eun hugged the packet to her chest. "I forgive him, but next time tell him I take cash-"

   "Ha-eun!" You said as Jungkook howled with laughter. Your cheeks burned bright red. Really? Where did this girl come up with these things? "The correct response is apology accepted and thank you. "

   "I don't know, Noona. I think I like hers better. "

  "Don't encourage her. She needs to learn manners. "

  "I hate manners." Ha-eun chimed.

"Well, you need them soooo you're stuck." You said, rolling your eyes. You definitely needed to stop spoiling that girl - Jungkook too.  "Now why don't you two wash up, while I set the table?"

  "Okay, come on Kookie, race you to the bathroom!" Ha-eun challenged taking off.

  Jungkook ran after her. "Hey you cheated!"

Once again you smiled listening to the two argue as you set the table. In the very center of it sat the crumpled flowers looking prettier than any bouquet you've seen before.

    Thankfully the rest of the night went smoothly. Any and all awkwardness between you and Jungkook seemingly vanished. Ha-eun even managed to convince you two to watch a movie afterwards, despite her usual eight O' clock bedtime. Overall the night ended well with Jungkook carrying a sleepy Ha-eun to bed as you cleaned.

 //

   “I swear if you don’t fuck him, I will.”  

A groan escaped you at your best friend’s declaration. Hyuna was definitely the female version of Jimin if the blonde hair, cat-like appearance and salacious appetites said anything about them. Though unlike Jimin, you knew  Hyuna meant every word said.  

  “What does that have to do with anything I said?” You questioned, eyebrow raised.

 Hyuna  gave you a look. It was the same look Ha-eun often did whenever she thought you were stupid. “The boy’s best friend suggest you two should fuck. What more is there, (Y/N)? I mean I know it’s been a while, but it’s not like you’re virgin naive to all things sex.”

     “He was joking. You know being stupid. Jungkook said-”

“Jungkook lied. Men lie. Especially when they don’t think they have a chance.” Hyuna said. “Besides he brought you flowers, (Y/N)! Flowers! No uninterested man brings a woman flowers. What more of a hint do you need?”

     “Right, because it’s not social etiquette to bring some to dinner.” You pointed out, steadying the tray of drinks in your hand. As giddy as the thought of Jungkook actually liking you was you couldn’t allow yourself such hope. After all it was only a matter of time before Jungkook met someone through work or friends and moved on with his life.

   Hyuna smacked your head nearly causing you to drop the tray. “What the fuck-”

     “That’s for being stupid. First about the flowers, then about whatever stupid shit is running through your brain right now.”  

  You shot her a glare, but said nothing. Sometimes it scared you how easily Hyuna could read your thoughts. Honestly you weren’t entirely sure she wasn’t a mind reader. “Look, I don’t want to discuss this anymore. Jungkook is young, he has a lot going on for himself. I don’t-”

    Hyuna raised her hand. “Keep talking shit about yourself, I dare you.”

 This time you smiled shaking your head. Hyuna was the best friend you could have ever asked for. "Fine. Have it your way but I'm telling you now Jungkook is merely a kind guy. "

   "And I'm a natural blonde. " Hyuna snorted, but left it be. "Anyway if not Jungkook, then what about Seokjin? He's hot, our age, and you are totally his favorite employee."

   "You did not just tell me to fuck our boss!"

   Hyuna giggled, walking off with her tray. "Come on (Y/N). You got to get it somewhere. Why not let the owner of Eat Jin eat you? "

  You stared at her, mouth slightly ajar. That's it. Hyuna wasn't the best friend ever, she was the worst. "I swear she's more concerned about my sex life than I am."

 Hours passed with the breakfast rush ending pretty well. Tips were slightly above average, the customers managed to be bearable, time seemed to go by fast and now you were folding silverware waiting for lunch to start. Overall, the day was going to be a good one.

 "(Y/N), you got a phone call. " your boss Seokjin said, holding the phone out. "It's your neighbor, Jungkook. Something about Ha-eun. "

   You brow furrowed as you grabbed the phone. It was a Thursday afternoon. Ha-eun was at school. So why would Jungkook call you about Ha-eun at work nonetheless?

 “Hello?”

    “(Y/N), thank god. I tried calling your cell phone, but you weren’t answering so I called your work-” Jungkook’s panicked voice came over the phone. “Listen, I need you not to panic, but Ha-eun had an accident at school. She hit her head falling off the jungle gym. The school said she was alright, but they took her to the hospital just in case.”

     “Wait what? No. No. Ha-eun can’t be in the hospital, I would know if she was. They would’ve called me-”

    “(Y/N), they tried reaching you on your cell phone, but couldn’t so they called me next. Look, I just left work I can pick you in fifteen minutes and take you to the hospital.”

   You barely heard his words, your mind racing with horrid images of Ha-eun hurt. How bad was it? Was she crying for you? Did she need stitches? Why weren’t you there right now?

    “No. I need you to go straight to the hospital.” You spoke without thinking. “It’ll take too long if you get me, and Ha-eun needs someone right now. Even if I leave right away, you’ll still be closer. Please Jungkook, you’re the only one I trust with Ha-eun.”

      “...I understand. I’ll go straight to Ha-eun.”

  You sighed, feeling a little of your panic dissipate. “Thank you. I’ll be right there. I’m going to catch a cab right now.”

   “Don’t. Ask Jin-Hyung for a ride instead. He’ll bring you here in one piece, if not I’ll kick his ass .” Jungkook said, growling the last bit. “And (Y/N), don’t worry I’ll take good care of our Ha-eun until you get here.”  

  He hung up leaving you with questions, thoughts, and more importantly ⁸a feeling of reassurance.

//

  Jungkook had forgotten he was on Ha-eun's emergency contact list. You had placed him on it last winter when Ha-eun gotten the flu. It was only supposed to be a temporary thing until you found a more suitable contact, and seeing how Jungkok never received a call he figured you eventually did find someone else ...never had he been more glad to be wrong in his life.

  “Ha-eun! I’m here for Ha-eun (L/N), her school called me.” Jungkook said as he burst through the emergency room. His heart raced against his chest as if he ran a marathon. He must’ve looked like a mad man, but Jungkook didn’t care, he needed to find Ha-eun.

  “Sir, can you please calm down. I’ll be more than happy to direct you." The woman at the front said.

  Jungkook clenched his fists. "Calm down? My kid is in the hospital. Don't tell me to calm down!"

 "I understand. There are a lot of people here with someone they love in the hospital. That doesn't mean you can freak out-”

    “I swear to god if you don’t tell me where Ha-eun (L/N) is…” Jungkook growled, not bothering to finish his sentence. Never before in his life did Jungkook think about threatening a woman, but in this moment all he was beyond tempted too.

   The receptionist glared at him. She looked ready to argue, when her co-worker intervened. “For God’s sake Haneul tell him where his daughter is.”

     Hanuel frowned her dark eyes boring holes into him. “Room 23. It’s down the hall on the right.”

   Jungkook let out a sigh of relief. He murmured a quick ‘thank you’ aimed at Hanuel’s co-worker who waved him off, then spun in the direction told. Thankfully it wasn't long before he saw Ha-eun's teacher Ms. Kim sitting outside a room.  "Mr. Jeon. I'm glad you're here!" she greeted. "Ha-eun's inside. Everything is alright for the most part-"

   Jungkook barely spared her a glance as he opened the door to Ha-eun's room. Instantly he was greeted by the sight of Ha-eun trembling on the hospital bed , her little hands gripping the blanket tightly as a doctor leaned over inspecting the nasty gash on her forehead. "Told you already Ms. Kim,  family only." the doctor paused staring at him. "You're not Ms. Kim. Who are you?"

   "I am-"

"Kookie!" Ha-eun cried, arms outstretched towards him.  "Kooookie!"

  Jungkook scooped her up in his arms, ignoring the doctor's protest. She buried her head  in his chest, tiny fingers tangled themselves in his shirt as she sobbed. "It's okay, Ha-eun. I'm here now. Your Kookie's here. "

  "Sir, if you don't tell me who you are I'll have to call security. " the doctor, a balding middle aged man, warned.

 Jungkook shot him a glare. Barely a minute had passed and already he can't stand this guy's guts.  What was with this hospital and its staff? "If you don't tell me what's wrong with my kid, you'll need to. "

  The doctor relaxed not even questioning Jungkook's words. "Your daughter fell off the playground and hit her head. She has a minor gash that'll need stitches and we have some tests to run for safety, but as of now there are no complications. "

  "Thank God. " Jungkook sighed, holding her closer. Never has he felt so scared or relieved as he did today. Even now it felt like Ha-eun could slip through his arms at any moment.

  "Thank God indeed. Now if you don't mind Mr.."

  "Jeon."

 "Jeon? Must be divorced. " the doctor muttered. Again Jungkook's dislike for the man grew.  "Anyway as I said previously Mr. Jeon, your daughter needs stitches. We'll numb the area around the wound to prevent any pain, but I'm sure Ha-eun would like her dad around when it happens. "

  "Of course. " The words slipped out of his mouth before Jungkook could stop himself. Deep down he knew he should probably insist on waiting until you came. You were Ha-eun's actual parent after all. He was simply the next door neighbor who occasionally watched Ha-eun.

  The thought didn't last long as the doctor approached with a syringe. Ha-eun let out a terrified sob turning into further into his chest shutting up any doubts he had.   "Noo...I don't want a shot. No shots please!" Ha-eun begged.

Gently Jungkook stroked her head, wary of the cut above her forehead. "Ha-eum. You need it to get better. "

  "But I don't want a shot, Kookie. Shots scare me. " Ha-eun cried, clinging tighter to him.

  Jungkook felt his heart squeeze from terror in her voice. It pained him so much to see Ha-eun like this.  He honestly didn't know how you could handle taking her to the doctor, especially to get a shot. If it were up to him, Ha-eun would never get one.

   "Ha-eun, sweetie, look at me." Jungkook said, guiding her gaze to him. "I know shots are scary, but I need you to be for me. I know you can do it, because you're my tough girl right?"

  "Uh huh. " Ha-eun nodded, wiping her nose with her sleeve. "You won't leave though Kookie? Promise you'll stay?"

     Jungkook smiled. "I'm not going anywhere. You can even squeeze my hand if it makes you feel better, okay?"

Ha-eun nodded placing her tiny hand into his larger one. "Kookie? Can we get ice cream after this? Mommy always takes me for icecream after shots."

    "Ha-eun, we'll go anywhere you want once the doctor is done. " Jungkook swore. She could ask to go to Disneyworld for all he cared. Whatever Ha-eun wanted she would get.

  The doctor loomed over her hand raised like the villain in some horror movie. "You'll feel a  little pinch but that's all."

    Ha-eun whimpered clutching onto Jungkook who gently rubbed her back. Thankfully the doctor was quick in his work only taking a few seconds to numb the cut. When he finished Jungkook let go a breathe he didn't know he was holding. The doctor smiled. "There. Not too bad, huh? Now onto the stitches!"

///

 Kim Seokjin knew Jungkook since the boy was ten years old. They grew up in the same neighborhood together and Jungkook often tagged along with Jin wherever he went. In college,  Jin acted as Jungkook's mentor/ big brother in their fraternity. Overall Jungkook was a little brother to Jin.

  Which was why he could not believe his eyes upon seeing Jungkook act so grown up around you and your daughter. Jin didn't mean to be nosy. It just kind of happened. After dropping you off at the front entrance,  Jin decided to make sure you and your daughter were alright. He expected to find Jungkook out in the waiting room not protectively hovering over Ha-eun and you. His arm wrapped around your waist in a half hug comforting you as the doctor performed stitches on Ha-eun.

  If possible Jin's heart exploded in pride. His little Jungkookie all grown up. "She's okay. No signs of concussion, but they need to do some tests. " Jungkook murmured.

   You shook a little but no tears or cries came out.  Undoubtedly if not for Ha-eun's sake. "Thank God. When you called I was so scared. I immediately thought the worst. "

    Jungkook rubbed your back soothingly. "I promise she's okay, (Y/N).  She might have a mean cut but our Ha-eun is strong, she'll bounce back quick."

    Our Ha-eun. Jin snorted at this. Out of everyone in their friend group Jungkook was one of the last they suspected to have kids. It wasn't that he didn't like them. More like there were other more kid oriented people like Taehyung or Jin himself. In fact they used to picture Jungkook as a permanent bachelor especially given his fear of women. However it appeared they guessed wrong. Ha-eun had Jungkook wrapped around her little finger.

   "Thank you, Jungkook, for everything. If you hadn't picked up when the school called or called my work I don't know what I'd do." You said looking down. "You even came here when you didn't have to. "

    "You thank me too much. I  did what anyone else would do. " Jungkook replied.

   You shook your head. "No you did not. I'm going to repay this time, Jeon Jungkook, I swear. "

   Unfortunately Jungkook's response got muddled under a sharp cry from Ha-eun. Both of your attention turned on the young girl conversation forgotten as you two comforted her. From the outside looking in, the three of you looked like a real family, but then again you weren't you?

     A few hours passed since the familial scene and Jin waited patiently for the doctor to release Ha-eun. He knew there was no real reason to wait. Neither you nor Jungkook knew about him waiting after all. If anything you probably thought he drove back to the restaurant already. Still Jin couldn't help but wait if only to talk to Jungkook for a little bit.

"I didn't know that the (Y/N) you always talked about was my (Y/N)." Jin hummed, leaning back against the plastic chair.    

   Ha-eun's scans thankfully showed no complications. She did have a slight concussion but after a couple hours of observation the doctor deemed it okay to go home. The only thing left now was some paperwork.

   "She's not your (Y/N), hyung." Jungkook grouched pushing his hair back.. "Besides I told you plenty of times you just forget because of your old age. "

   He was surprised by Jin's presence thinking he simply dropped (Y/N). However given his Hyung's kind nature it wasn't too shocking. Undoubtedly the older man worried about his best employee.

Jin sighed dramatically. "The disrespect I get after all those years of raising you on my back. How did you end up so poorly?"

   Jungkook rolled his eyes. "Throwing a tantrum isn't going to help your cause, hyungnim."

   "No, but maybe telling (Y/N) about the time you passed out naked will." Jin threatened silencing him.  

   Three years ago Jungkook passed out drunk at a fraternity party. When he woke up the next day Jungkook found himself tied to the house's flagpole naked. A lesson from his brothers for being so stupid.  It was the last time he ever got wasted. "You wouldn't dare." Jungkook growled.

  Jin grinned challenging the maknae to try him. "Would you rather I tell her about how you jumped out a window to avoid a love confession?"

  "You weren't even there, hyung! How can you tell her a second hand story." Jungkook frowned, nose wrinkling.

  Jin laughed. "Jimin recanted the story very well. I feel like I was there when it happened. Besides you were always so scared around girls, it's not hard picturing it."

  Jungkook rolled his eyes ignoring the embarrassment welling up in him. In general Jungkook fell shy around new people, hence his habit to hide behind his hyung as a teen. However women were the worst. "I've grown up hyung. I'm not the scared little kid I used to be. "

     "I know. " Jin replied staring fondly at the boy. "You've grown up so much Jungkookie. I see it in the way you care for (Y/N) and her daughter. You're an adult now which is why I think you should admit your feelings to (Y/N). You both deserve it."

[forkanna]

[AO3] [WATTPAD] [QUOTEV]

NOTES: Some nominal amount of smut ahead, and minor character death. NSFW. And, of course, Elsanna.

A small belated gift for Princess Anna's 194th birthday! Thanks to scuttlepantsworld and Aether_nb for helping to make this possible – or for giving me proper motivation and a prod in the right direction, at least. Commissions are still open at this time!

Yes, I know. It's been a thousand years to the day since chapter four was released. For the longest time, I vacillated between wanting to add to it and insisting the story was over; to be honest, I had never intended to write more than one chapter! But deep down, I knew the work was always unfinished. So the time has come to wrap it up and put it to bed forever. My writing style has changed in the years since, so I can only hope this manages to recapture the magic for those fans who have been waiting. And for the gawkers that just want a laugh… well, stay tuned for the epilogue, I guess.

Min Søsters Kjeder: Anna

Well, that didn't work out so great.

My heart felt like it was crystallising as Kristoff helped me to my feet just in front of the grand ice doors of my sister's palace. So Elsa had rejected me. Again. She cast me out into the cold she created because she didn't think I could handle the "new Elsa" — that she had apparently been suppressing for years and years. Maybe our whole lives. As usual, pathetic little Princess Anna just wasn't worth clueing in on all the fine details. No matter how much headway we make, no matter how many walls and doors I try to knock down, she summons new ones of glittering sub-zero moisture to stand in our way.

"Hey, we should do something about this."

"About what?" I asked distantly, still staring up at the shimmering ice slide that had deposited us where we were currently crouched, breath fogging on the air. "I really don't think she's gonna let me in again. Not anytime soon. She's stubborn like that sometimes." Like I wasn't stubborn.

"Your hair." I looked up into his concerned eyes as he reached up with a gloved hand, batting at the newly-whitened hairs of my fringe. "It's… I can tell what this is, Anna. I've seen it before."

My brow furrowed. "What… Kristoff, what are you talking about, you've seen this? Am I the only one in the dark around here about ice magic?!"

Now he looked a little uncomfortable. And I took full advantage — by storming for the staircase again. Obviously I slipped right back down, but that didn't stop me from grunting and growling, trying to claw my way up the perfectly slick surface.

"What are you doing?" he asked in a weary tone.

"Going… to see… my sister!" I grunted, before falling on my butt.

"Huh," Olaf put in. "Maybe you know something I don't, but that doesn't seem to be working out so great for you."

"OOF! Are you guys gonna help me up there or not?!"

But we never had a chance for them to give me a boost. My new friend and my old snowman — or our old snowman, I suppose — were too busy gasping in horror. It took me a little longer than it should have before I turned to see the towering snow-giant, menacing-yet-soft features glaring down at us.

"Oh. Not… I guess."

                                                                ~ o ~

My life became a series of rude awakenings after that. They made me miss doors in my face; at least those weren't dangerous and scary.

First, we got thrown out of the palace by my sister's new snow-beast. And that wasn't nice. Then Kristoff had the bright idea that he should take me to see his "love expert" friends — who turned out to be his family. Even worse rude awakening, because I had never met any magical beings that weren't my sister or the semi-frozen creations she seemed to whip up without even thinking about it. TROLLS. Real, live, rocky, mossy trolls! And on top of that, they decided I was about to marry Kristoff, because… I don't actually know! They just decided! Wow, were they eccentric, and a little annoying.

But they were the ones that sent me back to Elsa's palace. See, their king — maybe he was a sage, or a bishop? — explained that because my sister's magic had crept its way into my heart, even though I wasn't sure how or when, that there was nothing he could do. Only an act of true love could thaw a frozen heart.

And there was only one person I loved. Sure, Kristoff was okay, and Hans loved me, and Olaf and Sven were buddies. Nothing wrong with friendship! But there was a queen in my life that I felt such a deep level of love for that no force on Earth could break it, and I knew she felt the same for me. Even if she wasn't always good at showing it. So if I was going to get defrosted from anybody, I was definitely going to go with the prime candidate.

Problem was…

                                                                ~ o ~

"I can't believe she was gone!"

"These tracks will lead us straight to her," Kristoff reassured me for what was probably the twelfth time as we galloped toward Arendelle. "Don't worry, I'll get you to Queen Elsa!"

"What happened?" I asked weakly, shivering as I curled even tighter against him. "A-all that destruction, all those hoofprints…"

He shook his shaggy blonde mane as he spurred his reindeer faster and faster. My heart was filled with deeper dread the larger the kingdom loomed in my vision. All I wanted was to be home. To curl up by a fire and rest… and see my sister. I wanted that above all else.

Kristoff got me to the gates. The officials didn't want to let him in, and I didn't have the brainpower to argue anymore; my entire focus was on Elsa, on fighting my way to her side. Seeing her dazzling blue eyes and her soft white locks above me, sliding my hands around her trim waist…

"Prince Hans!" Kai called as he and Gerda steered me into the meeting room. I felt lucky that the ice magic's effects were minimal; otherwise, I would have been barely able to walk by now. I saw several dignitaries gathered around Hans, including the Weasel himself. Odin Allfather, didn't that guy have a life at all? Or enough sense to notice nobody wanted him around?

"Anna!" my suitor gasped out, rushing over to embrace me tightly. Oh yeah… I kind of forgot in all the craziness that the last time I talked to him, we were supposed to be getting married. I'd have to straighten that out later.

"Hans! I… I have to find out what happened to my sister!"

He seemed stunned. "What? What do you mean? She left Arendelle, she left us all to deal with this winter."

"But I saw the hoofprints leading back here! From the North Mountain! Where… I know she's here, I can feel it!" And I could, I swear I felt her presence. Maybe it was just me fooling myself… or maybe it was just gas.

Hans opened his mouth to protest, but just then another guard came in, standing ramrod straight and saluting. "Her Majesty has refused any food or drink, Sir. What shall we…" Only then did he notice me there, and he saluted again — harder, if possible. "Princess Anna! You have returned! Then… you were not…?"

"Were not what?" I asked. When the rest of the people in the room began to mutter, I looked around more frantically. "Okay, I'm getting a little tired of the information wagon not wheeling in my direction! What in the fjord is going on?!"

"Listen," Hans breathed with a slight crease in his handsome brow, "I think you all should leave for a moment. Princess Anna is clearly overcome — and she is frozen to the bone. We need to give her some time, I need to take care of her and let her warm herself by the f-"

"NO. You can stay here and talk to these guys if you want; I have a mission." I turned to point at the guard. "You! Fred, or something!"

"Fredek, Your Highness," he said with a stiff bow, still looking a little out of sorts. Everybody did.

"That's what I said. Is my sister here?"

"Y-yes, but she is-"

"Where?" Hesitation. Again. "Hey, am I the princess around here or WHAT?! Take me to Elsa now! Right now!"

                                                                ~ o ~

Nothing could have prepared me for that trip up into the tower. When we were little, Elsa and I would sometimes go up there to play, pretending one of us was the monster that was holding the other captive. We would imagine our castle was Soria Moria, taking turns playing a princess — since we were always princesses and playing was about escapism — and Halvor, the hero. We usually wound up just squealing and rolling around in fear that the troll with three heads would gobble us up, starting with our toes. That was what our father always told us would happen if we didn't behave.

Father…

Not for the first time, I fretted over what he would think about all this. Had he known? Had Mother? Did they have magic of their own, and just never bothered to reveal it to me? Nah, that would be completely crazy; I would know if my parents had anything magical in their backgrounds. Still, nobody ever told me about Elsa, so it was possible. It would have been easy to let bitterness take over my heart, thinking about how left out I had been my entire life until now.

But wasn't I doing something every bit as depraved as them keeping secrets? By falling head over heels for my own sister?

"I'm sorry, Princess, you cannot pass. I have my orders."

"Skadi can have your stupid orders! That is my sister and I'm going to see her, and… and I'm the princess, and you are not. So there!"

"That has nothing to do with-"

"You're ORDERED to open this door! NOW!" That was starting to work pretty well for me. The man sighed and unlocked the door, pulling it open. "Okay, get out of here."

"Excuse me?"

"I need to speak with my sister in private! And if you're hanging around out here… just-" I shoved at him impatiently. "Go wait at the bottom of the stairwell, or something! I don't care, just don't let us be disturbed or I'm going to…" Sentence him to death? I couldn't even pretend to be that mean. "Or I'll turn you into a stable-boy, and you'll be shovelling horse dritt for the rest of your life!"

Honestly, I've never seen a soldier in full armour sprint down stairs before.

"Who's there?" croaked a weak voice as I crept into the chamber, yanking the door shut behind me. "Is… you have to tell me, have they found Anna?"

"Nope," I said with a smirk. "She's totally still missing. Probably got eaten by a muskox."

The blue-tinted form on the cot shifted and stirred, and a disheveled head of platinum blond hair raised to squint through the darkness at me. Wow, she looked a lot more rough than I expected… because never in my life had I seen her look anything less than perfect. Not even when we were little.

"I…" Once she had seen me with her own eyes, she let out a long, shaky sigh of relief. "We don't… muskoxen aren't even carnivores."

"No?" I grunted as I plopped down on the floor right next to her, not even caring how dirty the dungeon was. Can you have a dungeon in a tower? Is that not the same thing? Maybe there's another word. "Well fine, I got turned into grass by some other magical person, and then the muskox ate me."

"Stop that. I was so worried when Hans told me, and here you are making fun of me for worrying. That isn't nice."

"Uh huh. It's totally nice, because I'm playing with you. Remember how to play?"

Elsa smiled softly to herself, glancing at the tiny window. The sky was definitely awake; I knew that's what she was thinking because it was what I was thinking. Crazy how sometimes, we could be so in sync, and other times…

"I remember," she admitted under her breath. "What do you think I keep thinking about the entire time I've been up here?"

The smile that broke out over my face was bright enough to eclipse the sun. It turned just a little wicked as I stood tall with my fists on my hips and proclaimed, "Hutetu, what a smell of Christian man's blood!"

That made my sister turn to look at me with wide eyes. Which promptly rolled before she mumbled, "Oh Anna, please, anything but that…"

"Come on, you know this!" I hissed. "Just kill the troll, Halvor — cut off all my heads! Then you can sweep the youngest princess-sister off her feet!" For real, this time. In hindsight, maybe it was because we spent so much time pretending to marry each other as kids that led us to the big i-word.

"And how am I supposed to do that?" she asked, raising her hands…

My heart seemed to grow yet colder in my chest as I looked at those gleaming manacles. I'd never seen anything quite like them; they encircled Elsa's hands completely instead of just binding her at the wrists, and chains led from their tips to a metal plate bolted to the middle of the floor. Wasn't that weird? Why would any such thing exist?

Come to think of it… since when had this tower been a dungeon? It was always cold and forbidding, but the iron bars had not been there when we were little, pretending it was Soria Moria. Not that I trusted my memories much anymore after finding out my sister had ice powers and never told me.

Still, I could put two-and-two together. "Elsa, this prison… did you…?"

"Not I alone," she sighed weakly, staring down into her icy lap as she fidgeted on the cold-looking stone cot. "Father had this commissioned."

"Father wouldn't-"

"I insisted. I made him and Mother see that it was for the best, even if… if they did not want to put me in a cage. But sometimes we need cages, Anna — to protect everyone else from what's inside."

"So what, now you just… you're going to sit up here while an eternal winter rages throughout Arendelle? That's so- I can't believe you would neglect your duties to this kingdom. Don't you see we need you?"

Her brow furrowed as she turned away again. "No. Look what I have done so far. Why would anyone need a queen as unstable as me? Who can't even control her own curse?"

"Curse? Do you not remember- didn't you see Olaf? Real and as alive as you and me? You did that! And you built that beautiful castle, and made this dress- really gorgeous, by the way, I didn't get a chance to say it before."

At least I made her chuckle. A tiny bit. It didn't last long before she was brooding again, staring toward the window. "You're too sweet. Maybe… maybe I shouldn't have interfered."

"Interfered in what?"

"You and… what was his name? Hans. Or that large man who helped you find me."

"Kristoff. Wait… are you trying to marry me off to some man I just met? After all that?!"

"Anna, you deserve a chance at happiness with a man who can take care of you. If you keep pining after me, deluding yourself into thinking we can be something more than we are… then I'm afraid you'll never be happy. And that would hurt me more than I can bear, especially knowing it's my fault! All I have ever wanted is to make sure you are taken care of. That you're safe, and whole, and happy."

"Then why did you spend over a decade shutting me out? Huh? Could you really not remember how much I loved you? Didn't you realize how that was going to hurt me, losing my sister — my best friend?" So maybe it wasn't very nice, but I couldn't help it; I lost my temper.

"I…" Her chest was rising and falling more rapidly, eyes narrowing thanks to the force of the furrow in her brow. It almost looked like she was panicking again, like she had at the coronation ball. "It wasn't my decision, but wasn't it for the best? I couldn't hurt you again. And us being together, especially the way we've been recklessly exploring the past couple of days… I can only see that ending one way."

"Elsa…" Knowing I had made a mistake, I approached her and laid a hand on her shoulder. Yes, she tensed up, but when nothing bad happened she relaxed. "I'm sorry. Maybe this has been rough on you, too, but I still don't think staying away from me was the best plan. Why couldn't we have tried to work on this togeth-"

"What part of 'I didn't want to hurt you again' is confusing for you? Why are you always so stubborn, Anna?!"

My temper threatening to rise again in response to hers, I snapped back, "The 'again' part, you jerk! Literally the only thing that ever hurt me was losing you!"

"No, it isn't! You just don't remember because of the trolls-"

Elsa cut off, her expression full of misery as she turned away. Lately, I felt like I was messing up all the time. Pushing too much. I didn't want to, I just… when I see something is wrong, I have this compulsion to fix it. How can anybody do any better if they don't try?

"I've been to the trolls. They said… well, they said if we don't do something soon, this is going to get worse."

"What is?" But this time, when she looked at me — really looked — she noticed. "Oh. Oh, Anna, it's getting worse…"

"How do you know about the trolls?" I asked suspiciously, scooting forward to make sure she couldn't escape my gaze so easily. "Wait — did you always know my hair was going to get more white? The way you said that…"

"No, no, they said they fixed it," she breathed, voice strained as if she were barely keeping her emotions in check. "I can't do this!"

"Elsa, for once I need you to actually listen to me and answer my questions! How do you know about the trolls, and what do you mean, this has happened before? And why don't I ever remember you having ice magic until your coronation? The more I think about it, the crazier it seems I wouldn't have noticed something that insane! Hey, I know I'm dumb, but I'm not that dumb!"

Suddenly, my sister's icy irises blazed with anger as she turned to look at me. "Don't you say that, Anna. You are not dumb. I have never mistaken your openness and your vibrance, and the naïvety that your excitement leads to sometimes, for stupidity."

Why did that turn me on? Talk about an inappropriate reaction!

"O-oh. Well… wow, Elsa, thank you. Um, I didn't expect you to say anything like that, I thought you would agree with me. Or something. I don't know." Desperately wishing I could force the blush out of my cheeks was distracting me from being able to string words together.

"Alright." Clearly relieved that I had accepted what she said instead of arguing, she closed her eyes for a moment. A long moment. "As I said, this is not the first time my magic has hurt you, no matter how hard I try to protect you. And there's a reason you-"

"Come on, Elsa! Why haven't you figured out yet that I don't need protection? Not from my best friend!" My body seemed to take on a life of its own, demanding I get closer to my sweet sister, that I show her how true my feelings really were. Otherwise, how would she ever see?

"Anna, wait-"

"I love you," I breathed as she backed into the corner, even though I was keeping pace, my hands pawing at her arms through her dress. The chains pulled taut beneath me and I saw my sister lurch from the unexpected resistance on her arms; I hadn't been paying much attention to them, I was so focused on getting closer to her. But then-

Then I let out the whimper. My sister whispered fearfully, "Anna? Anna, what's wrong?"

"Mmhhh, I didn't… well that's new…" My thighs flexed as I rubbed myself against the steel links that were now firmly between my thighs, vision going blurry briefly from the powerful surge of pleasure.

"What… are-" The gasp made it pretty obvious she had figured it out. "Anna, you stop that right now!"

"Why? It's… I mean, why can't I take a quick little break?" That was a pretty weak defense. Mostly, I was aware of how insane and depraved what I was doing was, but every second I was away from Elsa made my desire triple. At least, it really felt that way to me.

"We have…" Maybe it was the expression on my face, or maybe the sounds I was making, but I could start to see the colour rising in her cheeks. "Anna, we were in the middle of an important conversation. Please, can't your libido wait a minute or two?"

"I can… multitask…" At her glare, I finally brought my greedy pelvis to a stop. "You're right! You're right, I'm really sorry. I just already wanted you so bad, and then those chains hit me just right in- okay, shutting up," I added when I saw her death glare.

"Thank you. Now… I know this isn't going to be easy for you to hear. But I have hurt you before, when we were children. I wish I didn't have to explain it to you, I wish I could let you go on thinking nothing was wrong, but it's clear to me now that you will never stop fighting to get closer to me unless I explain why you can't do that. No matter what we both want, it just isn't meant to be."

"Okay, I… do not like that part. But the rest is good! We should be talking about these things — I mean, how are we ever going to fix things between us if we don't? So…" Oh wow, it was almost impossible to keep still.

"Your hips are moving."

"So what? My hips are here, my hips are th- ooooh, maybe they shouldn't go there. Okay, I stopped. So you hit me with some of your magic when we were kids and it gave me a white streak in my hair, and you guys took me to the trolls and they erased my memory and healed me right up? That pretty accurate?"

I couldn't remember ever seeing my sister look so completely shocked before. Literally had no words. It's too bad she didn't have something like that she could say to me, because I'm the chatterbox who needs to be quieted down sometimes.

"What? I mean, you left me some pretty easy dots to connect, and you just said I'm not as dumb as I look."

"I didn't- you don't look dumb, either! You are a beautiful young woman who could have anyone in the kingdom!"

Grinning, I whispered, "Aww, really?"

"Anna, please, try to pay attention. Don't you see how dangerous this is? Twice now I have gotten too close, let my attention lapse, and twice now I have hurt you. Can't you understand why I need to be kept away from you?"

Of course, I did feel my heart grow a little colder for just a second. But then I shook my head hard and glared at her. "Yeah. Yeah, I can see how you would think that — even how our parents could think that. Because they don't get it at all, and neither do you."

She looked so bone-weary when I started to crawl closer. Was hard not to take that personally. "Anna… what is it that you think you understand that I don't?"

"True love."

"What?"

"The trolls…" I shivered for a moment. It was getting worse, so I had to push ahead. "They said only an act of true love can thaw a frozen heart. So don't you see? If you kiss me-"

"NO. Anna, you have to listen to me! Stop this nonsense!" She was breathing hard in panic again now that our faces were only a couple of inches apart. Crystals formed on her eyelashes from the tears she couldn't fully shed. "I can't. Why don't you see I can't be that person for you? I'm a woman — your sister, the queen of the kingdom! No one will allow us to be together!"

Her words stabbed into me roughly like bayonets. Like icicles she was driving into my heart. And I could see fear blossoming in her eyes, could feel the cold creeping along my cheeks. Confirmation wasn't necessary; I knew I was getting worse. The magic was stealing me from the world. And Elsa just couldn't see that she was the only one who had the power to roll back the frozen tide.

"They aren't who counts," I breathed, my teeth beginning to chatter. Then… my hips started moving again.

"Anna, this is not the-"

"I'm going to freeze if I don't move. Don't you want to help me?" When she remained immobile, a little desperation crept into my voice as my brow furrowed. "Elsa…"

"I can't help. All I can do is make it worse," she sobbed brokenly. Even if she couldn't understand, at least she wasn't hiding anything from me anymore. Baby steps are all you get sometimes.

"Can't get worse than this!" I tried to joke. And when she only began to cry harder, I reached up to caress her soft cheek. "Come on… pick your princess, Halvor. You've b-been through so much…"

And she did kiss me. I had really been hoping that would break the curse. It didn't. But I was still going to enjoy this moment to the fullest. Hey, if it's your last one on the mortal plane, heck, why wouldn't you?

The deeper our kiss grew, the stronger my urges rose. It seemed to be helping me fight off the cold, so I renewed my efforts, grinding myself hard against those firm chains through the layers of Oaken's winter wardrobe. And my dear, beautiful sister no longer wasted any breath trying to convince me to stop; she did the one thing I had always wanted her to do, ever since we were little.

She supported me.

"Mmmhhhah!" I gasped when I was getting close. "Elsa! I love you!"

"Anna-"

"Never forget! Do you understand me?" Hazy as my vision was, I could still see the furrow of concern in her brow, how rapidly she was breathing. My poor big sister was terrified on my behalf. Screwed up as that might be, it felt amazing. She actually cared about me! "Don't you ever… forget that I love you, and I never blamed you, and I… all I ever wanted was to be close to you again! And you're giving that to me, and I am so, so happy!"

Tears slipping down her cheeks and shattering on the stone floor, Elsa rasped out, "Anna, you can't go! You're the one that deserves to stay — you have never done anything wrong! It's me! I am the monster, I cursed you, and I should be the one who is slain!"

"So what?! You… didn't do anything wrong, either!" But she didn't believe me. Of course. So I had to give her something different, something that would meet her needs. "A-and I forgive you! For anything, everything, whatever you think you need forgiveness for, you got it, sis!"

We kissed again. I only wished we could have had that conversation when I wasn't riding a couple of lengths of chain; it was definitely a little weird. But the burning between my thighs demanded I keep going, and it also felt like if I stopped, the cold would win. So on I bucked, over and over into that unrelenting metal-

Elsa did a little something for me that finished me off. And I can't even fully explain it, but I had no idea anybody could use their tongue like that.

"HMMNHHH!" was the only noise I could make because our mouths were joined together, but I felt like it was enough for her to understand. The orgasm that stole over my body was both satisfying and unsatisfying, because I was still so far away from the one I loved despite the passion joining our lips. But it would have to do. At least most of the frost had been rolled back from my body so I could function again.

Once the high faded, and the blaze in my crotch was back to being a dull ache again, we finally broke the kiss to look into each other's eyes. And there was understanding. I could see now that Elsa might still try to resist, and would probably always have anxiety about hurting me, but she was no longer deluded that we weren't meant to be together. She got it. Better late than never, I guess.

"Sooooo, your turn, Big Sis? Let me under that ice dress. Gotta show my appreciation."

"Anna!"

"Hey, you wouldn't happen to have that fork with you, would you? Maybe in here?"

Elsa only had enough time to chuckle and roll her eyes before the door burst open. My finger instantly jerked back from where it had been inching below her neckline as I whirled to yell at whoever had interrupted us.

But it was Hans. Not just him, but the guard I had sent on an early lunch break. Both had swords drawn, but now they were definitely looking like they didn't know which way was up.

"Princess!" Hans gasped. "Are you alright? We heard you struggling to breathe!"

"I-I'm fine!" I laughed nervously, privately thinking I was really getting tired of people barging in on me right after I came. Maybe I should invest in a Do Not Disturb sign that I could just carry with me wherever I went���

"What have you done to her?" he demanded of Elsa, glowering. She shrank away, instantly on the defensive, so I held out my hands toward both of them.

"Stop! Listen, nobody did anything, everything is fine! We were just talking, and… and trying to figure it all out!"

"Princess, I advise you stay away from her. She nearly killed the guards when they found her on North Mountain!"

When I turned to my sister with a question in my eyes, she winced, shoulders hunching up toward her ears. "I-it was an accident. They were trying to kill me, I was only defending myself!"

"Trying to kill you? They were part of the search party — we only came looking because Princess Anna had disappeared."

"But they attacked! And they weren't even guards from Arend-"

"Please take the princess to safety," Hans instructed the guard. But I wasn't focusing on that for the moment. He had already picked me up and moved me away from the chains before the little seed of thought began to sprout.

"Not from Arendelle?" I had to raise my boot and brace it against the door frame to keep from being shoved out of the tower. "Wait, wait, what did I miss?"

Hans sounded very regretful the moment he started speaking. "Those were Weselton's men. I thought it would be good to have more in our search party, but perhaps I was wrong. They seemed to have their own agenda. But you still had nearly taken their lives when I found you, Queen Elsa. Perhaps if you weren't so aggressive with your sorcery, one of them wouldn't have tried to take you out with the crossbow."

So much of what he said made sense, and I understood the shame and regret in my sister's face. She didn't want to be a killer, she didn't want to hurt anyone. And the more I learned, the more I understood why.

"This is still my fault, Hans," I sighed as the guard finally put me down, seeming to realize he wasn't going to have any more success if he kept at it. Stubborn as a mule. "She was fine until I started pushing her, messing with her ability to… to keep it all in check. So if anybody should be in chains, it's me."

Turning back to me, Hans took up my hands and squeezed tightly. Oh, the pain, the… awkward. Yeah, it's super awkward holding hands with the guy you once told you were ready to marry but suddenly realized you only wanted to tie the knot with a blood-related sibling.

"Anna, you aren't responsible for your sister's decisions. She has still put this entire kingdom in danger. Don't you think she should answer for that crime?"

"Only if I answer for the same crime! Didn't you hear me? I provoked her into it, I was- was being a stinker, she felt trapped!"

"Don't be absurd," he responded a little more firmly, lips pressing flat. "You never forced her to unleash eternal winter! Besides, if both of you are tried for treason, how will you and I rule over Arendelle? There will be no one left to take the throne."

I blinked a few times. "What? You and I- oh, Hans. If only you were the one I love." While he was busy looking more confused than ever, I shrugged helplessly. "My sister was right. I was just caught up in the excitement of having a new friend, someone who would listen, and I didn't stop to realize… there's no way what we had could be true love after only a few hours."

"So… then…" Man, he was really breathing hard now. I felt like a colossal jerk for doing this to him, but I didn't want to live a lie. Not for a single second. That would only make this harder in the long run. "So that's all there is to it? You can't see your way to giving me… a chance? Maybe we were hasty, but that doesn't have to-"

"It does. My heart belongs to another."

You know, it's funny. Even while I was sharing a longing gaze with Elsa, small, knowing smiles on our lips as we felt our hearts warm with the power of love, Hans still didn't realize who I was talking about. Maybe that says something about me, or maybe it says something about men. About people in general. That's a question I can't really answer.

"Who?" was what he asked when he found his voice again.

"It's a secret," I compromised. Again, Elsa rolled her eyes, but I was starting to get used to that. It didn't make me feel belittled anymore.

"I see. That… that is regrettable."

Elsa still held my eyes when I heard the sickly sound of metal sliding through metal. Mostly, I just found it really annoying, but when I turned to figure out what it was and how to stop it…

"NO!" Elsa burst out before I could react.

"Alright," Hans grunted as he dragged the sword out of the guard's back. The blade gleamed red as the man curled his fingers around the spot it had protruded from his chest with the last of his breath, then sagged to the stone floor. "But I do regret having to resort to such unpleasantness."

Skadi. The guard was dead. As much tragedy as my sister and I had been through over the years, I have never seen someone die right in front of me before. Never had to watch the light of life fading from someone's eyes, never had to know his family would mourn him because of something I had witnessed firsthand. It was beyond horrible.

"You… what have you done?" Elsa was muttering in a distant voice, just as disbelieving as I was but somehow still able to speak while I was completely mute.

"Only what I had to do. Oh, it would have been so much simpler and more elegant if you could have been tried for treason and executed, Your Majesty." How could he look so casual, striding over to flick that sword at me — spraying me with some of the blood? What a sadist. "You really are a danger to everyone here, I can see that. But now that I know Anna will never consent to marry me, well… as I said, this change of plans is regrettable, but I seem to have no other choice."

"No," I breathed as he advanced on me, and I felt my heart jumping into my throat, pounding loud as a timpani. "Hans, y- stop! What do you think you're doing, how can you be so, so…"

He shrugged carelessly, as if none of this mattered to him. Maybe it didn't. I would say I knew better, but clearly I didn't know a damn thing about anything. "As the thirteenth in line in my own kingdom, I didn't stand a chance. I knew I would have to marry into the throne somewhere. Being the firstborn heir, Elsa was preferable, of course, but no one was getting anywhere with her."

"Excuse me?" Elsa snapped, clearly a lot more outraged now that he was focused on me while holding a bloody sword. Can't say I blame her; shoe on the other foot, I would be just as riled up. "I am not a prize to be w-"

"But you? Oh, Anna, you were so desperate for attention. Probably weren't getting any at home." Only then did he bother to spare a smirk for Elsa, which shot her fury through with agony — just like he wanted. Now I could see his little calculations playing out behind his beady eyes. How could I have ever thought they were dreamy before?

"Hans, you d-don't know what you're talking about," I chattered, the cold beginning to grow again. As focused as I was on Hans, and the way snowflakes were swirling around our heads because Elsa was mad and scared and stressed, there was no warmth of our sisterly bond to counter the prince's frigid scheme. "You don't know what you're doing!"

"Don't I?" Suddenly that cunning smile changed to a stricken expression. "I… I couldn't believe the queen could do that to the guard, her own sister. There was nothing I could do, I- I had to protect myself when she came at me. But at least Anna and I got to say our marriage vows… before she died in my arms."

Even while he was holding himself tightly, I gave a sarcastic clap and sneered, "Oh wow, what a ham. Nobody's ever going to buy that barrel full of last year's lutefisk."

"Won't they?" His expression turned cold as he raised the sword overhead, aiming to strike true. I was dead and I knew it. After everything we had been through, this was going to be the end. How disappointing. "The evidence will be compelling, if I do say so mysel-!"

But the blow never landed. Even if Elsa's hands were bound, the rest of her wasn't; I'm really not sure why neither of us had quite paid attention to that little detail. Hans certainly wasn't going to forget it anytime soon after she shoulder-charged him, sending him bouncing into the far wall. The crunch would have been sickening if it weren't, well… him.

"Elsa!" I gasped. "Whoa, you really cleaned his clock! Since when were you such a… oh!"

That was as far as I got before I was scrambling back against the wall, watching the cuffs around her hands frost over just before they shattered completely. I had to shield my eyes from the shrapnel, and when I lowered my arms again… for the first time in my life, I felt honestly, truly afraid of my sister — because that look in her fair features was even more vicious than the one Hans had been wearing a moment ago. Bloodthirsty.

Vengeant.

"WHOA!" I barely gasped out as I latched onto her elbows. Mostly to keep her from raising the ice sword she had just conjured out of the air. "Wait, easy, what are- what are you going to do?!"

"Ending his life." At least she wasn't pussyfooting around the subject.

"You can't!"

"Why not?!" she demanded, still struggling against me. And my sister was clearly stronger than I gave her credit for, because she was almost lifting me off the ground with the force of her arms. Again, hotter than it had any right being, especially in the middle of a life-and-death situation. "He was going to end yours! He doesn't deserve to live!"

"Because he's not worth it! Because…" I let go and quickly moved around to put myself between her and Hans. "Because I don't want to see my sister turn into a murderer. Okay? We already got him outnumbered — it's over! You don't have to kill him anymore!"

Her voice was as flinty as her deep blue eyes. "Anna, move."

"No! You can't kill him and still be the woman I love!"

I saw her hesitate. And just being that close to her, staring into her eyes, I felt the love bursting within my heart. Anybody would do anything for her, and… it's me. I'm 'anybody'.

Then she was knocking me to one side with an icy blast. My head bounced off the stone of the tower wall, dazing me slightly, but she hadn't thrown me far or hard enough for it to do any real injury. Mostly, I felt sick that my love wasn't enough to stop her from committing murder. As she brought the sword down, I screamed…

But it only clanged against steel. We had run out of time; Hans had recovered and was about to strike. Even as I watched them struggling against each other, teeth gritted in concentration as they tried to overpower their opponent, it slowly caught up to me: she didn't ignore my pleas. That bastard had been about to make another attempt on my life.

My sister just kept saving me.

"You'll… never take me!" he snarled into her features as he began to back her towards the opposite wall. With his ginger hair disheveled and that deranged expression on his face, he definitely no longer looked like the handsome prince who worked so hard to charm my pants off. Now he just looked like… Weselton. "You might have magic, but underneath that? You're nothing but a scared little girl, trying to fend off a man with true ambition! You are NOTHING!"

"Yes!" she grunted, struggling down onto one knee but still valiantly pressing back his attack, despite the cracks forming in her sword. Then she suddenly smiled fiercely. "But do you… know what's… stronger than a man with ambition?"

"What?!" he demanded with that vicious, taunting smile. "Love?"

Of course, that was all he ever got to say, because that next second I was bringing down the fallen guard's heavy helmet right on the back of his head. I could see the smile turn to a look of shock in the reflection of their swords just before he crumpled to the ground, completely unconscious. I really didn't hold back.

"Sorority, you dope," I snapped down at him, casually dropping the helmet onto his back. "You should know better than to mess with sisters."

"Anna!" Elsa gasped as her sword vanished completely. It didn't take her long to scramble to her feet and throw her arms around me, clutching me so tightly to her body that I actually felt winded. "Oh, Anna…"

"It's okay, Elsa. I'm here, I'm fine."

"Your head- you're sure? I didn't want to throw you but-"

"I get it, I get it," I laughed as she pulled back to pet over the side of my head. "Crazy way to protect someone, but I guess it's better than getting stabbed. Thanks."

"Oh. Your hair…"

"I know," I sighed. "But it's okay, Elsa. We'll figure it out together. Please don't feel guilty anymore; I know you never meant to hurt me, not back then and not now."

"No — Anna…" Eyes sweeping the little tower cell, she came upon the guard's sword. As she unsheathed it, for a wild moment I was afraid she was going to kill Hans while he was unconscious, but instead she held it up in front of my face.

And now I could see what she was talking about. "What's- huh?! Where'd my white streak go — why am I all auburn again?"

"I… I don't know." And I could tell she was legitimately confused. "Do you feel any different? Do you remember feeling anything different?"

"No, I…" But I did.

So many memories came flooding back the second I focused my mind on them. Building Olaf together in the ballroom, not outside during a wintry day. Dragon feet. Cuddling close to our mother as she sang us a lullaby, my eyelids getting heavy… All memories I had before. But they were different now; changed by something that had been hidden that was now in the light.

"Do the magic," I whispered softly, my eyes welling with tears.

"Oh," she breathed, just as misty as I was as she dropped the sword and yanked me into another clinging embrace. "Oh, Anna, I'm so sorry. I never wanted any of this, I just wanted us to be happy! But Pabbie said to keep you safe… I had to learn to control my power. But I can't."

"Oh, I think you can. I know you can." Pressing my fingertips into her back, I whispered softly, "You're my magical sister, and the strongest person I know. You can do anything." When she didn't respond at all, just sobbed gently into my shoulder, I smiled and asked her, "What were you going to say?"

"What?" she blubbered.

"Before I bonked Hans on the noggin. You had been going to say there was something stronger than a man with ambition…? I interrupted, sorry about that."

"Don't be sorry," she laughed wetly. "But… I was going to agree with him. It's love. I would do anything for my family, and I know you would do the same. And a man like him would never understand that."

"Yeah, sheesh. You'd think a guy with thirteen brothers would get it even more! But apparently they were pretty rotten."

Finally, Elsa drew back from the hug to cup my cheek, her expression full of so much adoration that I almost had to pinch myself to see if this was real. "I'm so glad you're safe, and so glad you are finally whole again. Even if I'm not quite sure how."

"Me, either. The trolls told me 'only an act of true love can thaw a frozen heart', like I said. But I mean, if they meant getting myself off with your chains, well, that's pretty weird, even for people that grow mushrooms out of their backs!"

Elsa laughed a little — at first, then she grew thoughtful as her fingers combed through my fringe. "Love will thaw, hm? Well… I think… I'm starting to understand."

The room was silent for a few seconds. "So are you going to share with the class, or…?"

"Anna, don't you see? It wasn't the kiss — and certainly not your indiscretion with my chains. You healed yourself. Putting your body between Hans and I was what unfroze your heart, and I guess your head."

"Wait, what? Putting my- that was just because I didn't want you to have to kill that jerk. I couldn't stand the thought that my sister would have blood on her hands just because of me."

"And that's true love. Even if it was a little reckless."

"Hey! You could at least not make fun of me for trying to help my smmmph…"

That was as far as I got before she was drawing me into a gentle kiss. Melting into her arms was as easy as it ever was, pouring all of my longing and gratitude into her lips as our hearts beat as one. And of course, she was right; I guess protecting Hans, even if it was just to keep my sister's conscience clear… that was an act of love. For her.

A little at a time, we could hear commotion drifting up from downstairs. After taking a moment to slip handcuffs onto my former fiance's wrists, we went to investigate.

"Ohhhh, the storm is over," I breathed as I looked out the windows. "That's a relief; at least we can walk around outside without getting knocked down."

"Yes… but why…?" I turned to look at my sister, seeing her hand at her chin as her mind raced. She looked like a little junior detective when she did that. "Love will thaw. Do you really think…?"

"Think what?" But she was already grabbing my hand. "Hey!"

"Guards!" she snapped at the two who had also been gawking at the weather. "Prince Hans of the Southern Isles is a traitor to Arendelle, and one of our men is dead. Please remove the body and lock his cell until his fate is decided."

They were still clamoring through their confusion to manage a "Yes, Your Majesty" when Elsa yanked me further down the hallway, literally running in her glittering ice heels. How does she do that when I can barely run in boots?!

Once outside in the courtyard, I finally demanded, "Okay, Elsa, what are we doing? I mean, if you wanted to take a stroll, all you had to do was-"

"Shh." Grinning at me, she rubbed her hands together and then began to swirl them around each other, building up her energy — or something. You got me, since I've never done magic before. Then she curled them into claws and began dragging them upward from the ground, as if she were trying to summon the rocks from the earth and send them into the sky.

And as I watched, the ice and snow in the courtyard disappeared. That wasn't quite true; it was more like it evaporated. From the ground, the trees, the rooftops — from Arendelle. In no time, green was bursting out all around, and the confused servants throughout the castle were gasping in wonder.

"Whoa!" I squeaked. "You un-magicked your magic! Amazing!"

"Yes," she laughed, grabbing onto my hands and spinning me around in a circle. I couldn't help the peal of laughter that burst out of me, my heart was so light for the first time in forever. "Your love! That was always the key!"

"Yeah, sure!" I giggled. "My magical love!"

"No, really." Once we came to a stop, she pulled me in close, and I was struck again by how gorgeous she was, cheeks flushed and chest heaving slightly, bright red lips parted and curling into a smile. By Freya, she could have had anybody she wanted.

"You said that only an act of true love could thaw your heart, and your mind, Anna. I… I had to wonder if that's what I've been doing wrong all these years. Trying so hard to control my magic out of fear and anxiety for its consequences, terrified of hurting anyone, that I forgot… I forgot how to reach out, and let myself love you, and our parents, and… my people. That was the missing link."

My hand drifted up into her sweeping blonde forelock. "You sure you didn't bump your head when you tackled my ex?"

"Very sure. Our love thawed out Arendelle, Anna; that was all I needed."

"Oh," I breathed, knowing I looked like a shy dork by now. She had me so flustered in a way Hans could never have managed. "Well… I guess… you're welcome? Or thanks? I, u-um…" No, I could do better than that. "You'll always have as much love from me as you want, Elsa. Always."

And she kissed me again. That was never going to get old; it would always send tingles from my ears to the tips of my toes, set my stomach fluttering and my heart pounding. Even though I was no love expert, I somehow knew that was something only for the two of us.

Of course, when we broke apart we could hear the mutterings; the kiss had trapped us in a little world of our own, but pulling back revealed there were quite a few Arendellians shocked at what they had just witnessed. And I mean, I get it; their queen was acting like she was from Lesbos, not Norway, and with her own family member. That's a whole lot of Greek.

But even though I would have expected Elsa to retreat into her shell again, ashamed of what she had done, she did not. She stepped forward and announced loudly, "My sister and I have freed Arendelle of my magic. If any of you have a problem with how we have done that, you can air your grievances during the court levée I will open to the public on Monday morning. Until then, enjoy your summer again!"

Somehow, ending on that positive note triggered the automatic response of everyone cheering and clapping. Maybe it was a little bit of a trick, but it still gave Elsa the freedom to sweep me into her arms, to spin me around as I laughed. How long had it been since I felt that free?

Thirteen years. That's how long. But now we could be free forevermore. I only hoped the people of Arendelle would let us be free.

                                                                ~ Å Være Ferdig ~

[entity9silvergen]

He Is Mild And He Is Meek (ATLA Fanfiction)

Summary:  

He is mild and he is meek, he is Momo and he is what I seek.

Suki always wanted three things in life. One was to become a professional soccer player. The second was to live in a cute apartment filled with succulents. The third was to get a cat.

Momo probably wasn’t anyone’s first pick as a pet but Suki was determined to get this cat to love her as much as she loved him. If only he’d accept he had a home now.

Fandom: Avatar The Last Airbender

Characters: Suki, Momo, Sokka, Aang

Relationships: Suki & Momo, Suki & Sokka, Momo & Aang, Mentioned Aang/ Katara, Past Suki/ Toph

Other Tags: AroWriMo, Oneshot, Modern Setting, Modern AU, Transgender Character, Aromantic Character, Trans Suki, Aromantic Suki, Lesbian Suki, Aro Trans Lesbian Suki, Trans Aang, Bi Sokka, Queer Toph, Cat Momo, Dog Appa, Pet Adoption 

Warnings: Brief Mentions of Sex, Minor Swearing

Word Count: 6.7K

Chapter Count: 1 (Oneshot)

Author’s Note: I was working on my third AroWriMo story and was about to take a break when this idea hit me. I know it’s kind of out there but I like trying different stuff so here we are.

This is very out of my comfort zone. It’s a Modern/ Real World AU story with a sapphic aromantic transfem Suki adopting a cat. I am an achillean aroace trans man with a dog. I also don’t play soccer or work in tech and I’m writing about that a lot here. I am writing about so many things I don’t know about so feel free to call me out if things aren’t quite accurate. The main focus is on Suki and Momo becoming friends so hopefully it won’t be an issue.

The title comes from the poem The Lamb by William Blake.

This fits with the prompt for Week 4, non-romantic relationships. Because pets count, guys. Originally I was going to write a fic about Lin figuring out she’s aro and coming out but I like this better.

Also read it here on Ao3.

======

As long as Suki could remember, she’d always had three goals in life.

Goal number one had always been to play professionally for a women’s soccer team. 

Unfortunately, biology was not in her favor and she couldn’t even play on her college soccer team. For either sex. What kind of bull was that? If they were going to misgender her, they could at least do it by letting her play for the men’s team. Not that she would if she was offered. There were some things she wouldn’t compromise on. 

It was upsetting but she tried not to let it get her down. She’d come this far and she wasn’t going to let this stop her. She ended up on her school’s girl’s ice hockey team for all four years. It was just because they were short on players and they needed six to compete. Apparently not a lot of girls were interested in ice hockey? Suki actually really enjoyed it, even if the other teams always called her a man when they lost. 

Maybe it was for the better because once she’d graduated, one of her teammates introduced her to the Kyoshi Warriors. They weren’t professionals but they competed in organized tournaments. All women's organized tournaments. It wasn’t what Suki had dreamed of but soccer was still a part of her life. Maybe one day the sports industry would be more accepting but for now, this was enough.

Goal number two had always been to live in a cozy apartment with a crapton of succulents. 

She was a cottagecore lesbian who couldn’t keep a plant alive for the life of her, okay? And succulents were cute. Don’t judge. This one was a much easier goal to accomplish. She and her buddy Sokka had scored a job in webdev for this big gaming company right after they graduated from college. They were stuck coding for a smaller, newer game but popularity had surged and she and Sokka were making decent coin now. Enough that they no longer had to crash at Toph’s place. Well, Suki didn’t have to. Sokka stuck around for a bit. Suki was pretty sure they tried dating and it didn’t work out. That was probably a good thing because Suki really didn’t want to tell Sokka she’d been hooking up with Toph when they’d moved it. How awkward would that conversation be? Like, hey Sokka. You know you’re dating my ex-fuck buddy? Well now you do. Bleh.

But the point was that Suki had it good now. She wasn’t rolling in dough or anything- she’d painted most of the artwork around the apartment and all her succulents she’d grown herself from cuttings because she still couldn’t really afford to do anything else- but she was doing well. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to stay here forever but she might.

The third and final goal was to get a cat.

Because who needed a girlfriend? Or boyfriend? Or enbyfriend? Wives, husbands, any kind of spouse wasn’t the life for her. No, she wanted to live with a cat in a house filled with plants, damn it. Would the cat try to eat her succulents? Probably. Would that stop her? No. No, it would not.

So that led to right now. With her ideal home secured and a place on a soccer team, Suki decided it was time to get a cat.

She’d spent awhile looking online. Like, years. Years of research. She didn’t have much experience with cats. She had a pair of cats as a kid, sisters actually, but they’d died when she was pretty young. Not because her family was filled with terrible pet owners or anything. No, the cats had just gotten old. Her parents just decided to get a lot of pets as “practice” or whatever before having kids. She’d found out later in life that it’d taken a long time for her mother to get pregnant with her big sister Ty Lee so maybe they’d thought they just weren’t going to have kids or something.

Ty Lee’s friend Mai had a cat growing up, a kitten, so most of Suki’s cat experiences came from that. The cat’s name was Azula and she was a mean thing. Suki had gotten countless scratches on her arms from her but they were worth it to have those brief moments of sheer, unfiltered acceptance only an animal could have before the little jerk unleashed hell on her hands. Azula somewhat grew out of it when she reached adulthood but she never stopped being a terror.

Mai moved away at some point when Suki was around nine or ten and she took Azula with her. Which made sense, Azula was a cat, but Suki still missed having her around. Since then, the only cat she’d interacted with was this tortoiseshell she’d seen on a walk in high school. She’d been having a pretty day- er, week- and she thought a walk to the elementary school down the block would clear her head. She’d spotted the cat across the street and hurriedly crossed in hope she could get a better look. It’d been a pleasant surprise that the cat seemed equally delighted to see her and approached her as well, demanding pets for a good half hour before Suki realized she had to be getting home. She came back the next week, hoping to see the cat again, but she never did. It was too bad, she’d never met a cat who did anything like that.

So the years of research were necessary. She was only experienced with, what, four cats? Wait actually, her extended family members had some cats but they didn’t count. They were assholes. But four to seven, give or take? Not a lot.

Constantly googling stuff about cat care made stuff about cat adoption show up on her brower a lot which was kind of annoying in college since she couldn’t have a cat in her dorm but she let herself indulge once in a while. She had to know what kind of cat she wanted, right? Well, she thought so. Turns out she was a bit off center. Cats weren’t really bred like dogs. With dogs, you had a ton of options. There were labs, german shepherds, huskies, dobermans, dalmatians, sheep dogs, collies, and countless other breeds. With cats, you had orange, white, black, brown and grey. You also had stripes, patches, and plain but that was pretty much it. It was more important where the cat came from than what kind.

It took Suki awhile to realize most of the advertisements she saw were from cat mills. Turns out there are a lot of weirdos out there who bred their cats to pump out kittens to sell. On one hand, gross and she knew she shouldn’t further support those kinds of businesses but on the other, they needed good homes. These people had no morals, who knew where those little kittens were going to go? Not the sellers, that’s for sure.

It was hard to tear herself away from those sites but she was glad she did.

There were a lot of family cats who’d gotten pregnant by accident and the owners needed someone to take the kittens off them. They sold cheap but the cats were usually well taken care of and the sellers made sure the new owners weren’t, like, animal abusers are anything. The bar was kind of low but it was a lot better than kitten mills.

Then there were shelters.

Suki’s family, as much as they loved animals, never got pets from shelters. They had too many issues, they said. It’s easier to train a younger animal, they said. You have no idea where they’re from, they said. Ty Lee always pointed out the animals needed homes. Suki always asked if the animals who were there for too long got euthanized. Neither sister could really remember what their parents’ responses were but neither of them ever tried to buy pets from shelters, even as adults.

Until now.

Looking on the shelters’ websites swayed Suki a bit. A lot of shelters didn’t euthanize but usually pets would go to different shelters if they were at one for too long and sometimes those new shelters did. There was a wide variety in the policies at the different shelters. Some of them really prioritized the animals’ wellbeing but some… really… didn’t.

She decided on visiting a small volunteer-run animal shelter. They were having a… a sale? What’s it called when places with animals just stuck a bunch of animals outside and let people wander around and look at them? A farmer’s market? No, wait, that was food. An open house? Gosh, she should know this. She didn’t though and she was going anyway.

It was a Sunday the day she decided to go. It was the only day on the shelter’s calendar that lined up with her schedule for the next month or so. After throwing on her lucky green blouse, applying some light makeup, and firing off a quick text to Sokka letting her know she wouldn’t be around today, she headed out.

“Hey there!” a bright boy in a blinding orange t-shirt greeted as she approached the shop the kennels were set up. “I love your necklace! Where’d you get it?”

Suki tried her best not to finger the necklace she had on but quickly relaxed when she noticed the dog tags around the boy’s neck. The pronoun dog tags. This guy was trans too. Or an ally at least. He probably recognized her programmer socks from a distance and her white ring up close. It was a massive relief. She hated getting questions about her name when she signed paperwork. And knowing her, there was a pretty good chance she’d be signing some adoption papers today.

“Oh, um, I made it,” Suki said, feeling a bit proud at the way the boy’s eyes bugged out of his head.

“Really? That’s so cool! I’ve looked for pronoun necklaces online but they’re just so chunky. That’s why I like my dog tags! My dog Appa has some too!” the boy rambled excitedly. “Anyway, anything I can help you with? You are here to look at animals, right? If you’re not, I’d totally apologize for just yelling at you out of nowhere but it’s kind of my job.”

Suki laughed and decided she liked the guy. “No, don’t worry. I’m here to look at cats, actually.”

“Oh that’s great! I love cats but I’m allergic,” the boy- Aang, according to his name tag- said. He jangled something in his pocket, presumably allergy pills, and began leading her to the tables where lighter animals’ kennels were placed on. “We’ve got some good ones here today! Who should we visit first? You looking for a boy cat or a girl cat?”

“Gender is a social construct,” Suki responded, amused by Aang’s delight at her response. “Surprise me.”

“Okay, um, let’s see. Oh here’s Haru! He’s a good boy,” Aang said, leading him over to a wire exercise pen with three cats inside. “See, Haru’s the brown one. Teo and Duke are the other brown ones.”

One of the cats meowed loudly at the sound of his name, startling the other two awake.  One of them lifted his head with a dazed look in his eye and a long piece of lint stuck to his face. Suki couldn’t help but snort at the sight of it.

“Classic Haru,” Aang chuckled. Suki still wasn’t quite sure which cat he was talking about but he was already moving along. “Um, okay, so over here we’ve got three more. This is Lu Ten and- Jet! Stop trying to eat Kuei’s ear! Wait, no. I’m sorry. Don’t look at me like that! You brought this upon yourself!”

Suki’s attention drifted down the table as Aang bickered with the cats. They were funny but she was too distracted by the lone crate at the end of the table for her to notice. She lifted a finger, drawing Aang’s attention to it. “Is there anyone in there?”

Aang looked up, Jet in one hand and Kuei in the other. “Oh that? Oh yeah, that’s Momo.”

“Can I see him?”

Aang put Jet and Kuei down, looking kind of hesitant. “There’s a reason Momo’s all alone.”

“Is he aggressive?”

“What? No. No, he’s like the total opposite of aggressive. Really shy actually. He’s a rescue. My girlfriend found him on the streets a couple weeks after this hoarder got evicted. The guy had, like, sixty cats who all got sent to shelters around the state but some of them got loose. We think Momo was one of them. He gets kind of scared around other cats,” Aang said, scratching the back of his head with one hand. “I don’t think he’s scared of humans, exactly, but I don’t think he’s going to get adopted anytime soon. I’d take him but, you know, allergies. I thought it might do him some good to get used to being out here though. Took me forever to convince my boss.”

“Can I see him?”

“O-okay. I don’t see why not. Just try to stay quiet. I don’t want to scare him too much.”

Suki nodded and Aang led her down the table. The crate was facing away from the rest of the animals and Aang made sure to move slowly when he moved into sight. “Hey, buddy. It’s me. Aang. You remember me? Yeah, you do. I brought Suki! She’s just going to say hi, alright?”

Aang nodded to Suki and she shifted so she was within view of the wire mesh that was the crate’s door. She crouched down a bit, trying to get into view, and was immediately met with two wide, green eyes.

“Hey, Momo,” she cooed. “Is this alright?”

She slowly put her hand near the door. Momo stared at it for a few moments from his place curled up at the back of his crate before stretching his neck a bit to sniff. She glanced at Aang, trying to see if what she was doing was alright. He looked absolutely mystified. Taking that as a good sign, she put her hand against the door. To her surprise, Momo got up and nuzzled her hand through the wire.

“Wow, he never does that,” Aang commented. “Hopefully that means he’s getting better. Or that you have cat magic!”

“Can I adopt him?” Suki asked before she knew what she was saying.

“I don’t literally mean you have cat magic.”

“Wha- Yes. I know I don’t have cat magic, Aang,” Suki sighed and ducked her head a bit to look into Momo’s cage. He was a cute little guy. Maybe a year old. If he was from a hoarding house like Aang thought he was, he’d probably been born there. Poor boy probably didn’t know what it felt like to have a real home. “I think… I’d like to give him a shot. Give him a home. I know I’d probably have to put more work into it than I would for another cat but I’m willing to do that extra work for him. He deserves it.”

Aang smiled and it wasn’t one of the beaming ones like before. This one was a lot softer. “You have no idea how happy that makes me. You really sound like you’ll be a good pet-owner. We have to do background checks and stuff, obviously, and you can’t, like, take him home right now but if you think you’re ready, I’ll put your name down and we can start the adoption process.”

Suki shot Momo one last glance and nodded. “Nothing would make me happier.”

===========================

She ended up driving to get him at seven am the next Friday.

She’d been planning on getting him in three weeks but on Thursday Aang had called her to tell her Jet was stirring up trouble again and Momo had freaked out and he really wanted to get him out of there. They’d planned on Saturday but Momo freaking out was agitating the other cats and Aang thought it would be best if Suki came sooner so she got herself and Sokka out of work and now they were driving to the Southern Air Animal Shelter.

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you’re getting a cat,” Sokka whined as they pulled into the parking lot. “At least tell me he’s black. Then you’d be, like, a sexy lesbian witch with a sexy black cat... famialir… thing.”

“Momo’s white.”

“Aw. That’s too b- Oh wait, that actually fits your aesthetic way better. Blue eyes?”

“Green.”

“Even better! I like him already!”

Suki snorted and flicked him in the side of the head when they pulled into their parking spot and came to a stop. “Just wait here, alright?”

“Sure thing. Try not to take forever. Unlike some people, I need to get back to work this afternoon.”

Suki flipped him off and headed inside.

The woman at the desk was kind enough and Suki didn’t have to wait long before she was redirected to Aang. The man looked a bit frazzled but still looked bright as ever. “Hey Suki! Boy am I glad you’re here. I’m sorry we had to hurry things like this but I really think this is what’s best for Momo.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Suki assured him. “Is he alright?”

“I think so. I’m just glad he had a home lined up and all ready to go,” Aang admitted as he led her to the part of the building reserved for cats. “I mean, he’s well treated here and I’ll miss him but I think he needs his peace.”

The cat corner wasn’t nearly as loud as the dog department must be but there were a few more vocal cats meowing here and there. Suki kind of wanted to stop to play with them but she wasn’t here for them. She was here for Momo.

Once again, Momo was at the farthest end of the wing and as far away as the other cats as possible. She felt a stab of pity for him when she saw him. He was curled up at the back of his kennel, face buried in his tail. When he heard them approach, he looked up with the most terrified look in his eyes and mewed softly.

“I know, buddy,” Aang told him, looking sad, “but Suki’s here. Do you remember her? She’s going to take you to your forever home.”

Aang unlatched the door and Momo tipped his head, looking confused. With Aang’s approval, Suki reached in and pulled him out, holding Momo carefully. “There we go. It’s going to be alright now, Momo.”

“Let’s get him out of this wing,” Aang said. Suki nodded in agreement, feeling Momo quivering in her arms, and the two hurried away from the other cats. Back in the lobby, Momo already seemed a lot calmer. Still nervous but better.

“Normally, all the paperwork would be done by now but due to the circumstances, just sign here,” the woman at the desk said, sliding a form across the table. “We can mail you the rest of the paperwork or you can come by later.”

Suki nodded and jotted down her initials on the form with her free hand. She tried at least skimming the rest of the form like any responsible person should but she was too worried about the cat in her arms to really care. The receptionist glanced it over once before giving Suki the okay.

“Do you have someone to drive you home or do you have a crate in your car?” Aang asked when she was done.

“Both. I came here with my friend and I already bought everything,” Suki told him. She flashed him a smile. “Thanks for everything, Aang.”

“No problem. Just doing my job,” Aang answered, matching her smile. He passed her a slip of paper. “Here’s just some extra info about Momo I had jotted down. I have one for every cat. I dunno, it may help.”

Suki thanked him one more time before saying goodbye and returning to her car where Sokka was waiting. Honestly she’d kind of forgotten he was there, despite mentioning it to Aang, until she saw his face light up at the sight of the cat.

“Is that him? Oh, what a beautiful boy,” Sokka cooed when Suki took shotgun with Momo in her lap.

Momo glanced up at Suki before shooting Sokka a confused look. Suki scratched him behind the ears. “That’s right, Momo. Sokka’s weird.”

“Hey! I’m the weird one?”

“Yup,” Suki said, popping the p. Sokka made a face at her. She laughed. “Just drive, knucklehead.”

“As my queen commands,” Sokka responded extravagantly and hit the gas. Suki held onto Momo securely and soon, they were heading to Momo’s new forever home.

The drive was overall pretty good. It was a nice drive through some countryside. Suki and Sokka had been too tired that morning to really appreciate it but now that they were more awake and in less of a hurry, they could just soak it in. Suki lifted Momo up a bit so he could look outside, smiling at the way his green eyes widened in wonder at the endless stretches of grass around them.

Momo was fairly calm for most of it but he was a cat in an unfamiliar situation so he cried a bit once in a while. Sokka pulled over to let Momo use the bathroom about halfway through. Sokka told Suki that when his family got their puppy when he was a teenager, his dad had been holding the dog in the back seat and the dog peed on him within twenty minutes of getting in the car. Suki laughed but privately she was grateful Sokka remembered. She wasn’t wearing nice clothes or anything but she really didn’t want Momo peeing on her or in Sokka’s car.

They got back to Suki’s apartment within the hour. Sokka punched in the codes for the gate and elevator, Suki’s hands too full to do it herself, and they headed inside.

“We’re home now, Momo,” Suki told the cat softly, putting him down once the door was closed. She didn’t think he’d run but better safe than sorry. Momo was definitely going to be an indoor cat. “Go explore.”

Momo seemed frozen for a moment before disappearing in a flash, scurrying behind the couch to where most of the cat stuff was. Suki would’ve taken that as a good sign if he’d run to the cat tower but no, Momo had ducked under the little table beside the couch and was watching everything warily.

“At least he’s not hiding under the couch or under the bed,” Sokka pointed out when their efforts to coax him out failed.

“I guess,” Suki sighed, sitting down on the rug a few feet away from the cat. “You want to stay?”

“I need to get back to work,” Sokka told her regretfully. “I’ll text you if anything important happens. And I might be by later. Hopefully this little guy comes out by then.”

Suki nodded and bid him farewell before glancing at Momo. He’d stubbornly tucked in his paws and planted himself firmly under that little table. She shook her head. “What am I going to do with you?”

=====================

Suki didn’t have to go back to work that day but she did have a soccer match. She could skip if she wanted- they were just playing the Ba Sing Bears and honestly they weren’t that good- but she figured she’d give Momo the chance to explore his home alone. According to the note Aang had given her, Momo was fine being alone for good stretches of time.

(It also said he was litter trained, good on a leash, practically melted into neck scritches, didn’t like his ears being poked, loved polka music but hated any kind of rap except for French, and his favorite show was the Aquaman cartoon from the 60s but Suki didn’t really know what to think of that.)

The Kyoshi Warriors unsurprisingly won their game but the Ba Sing Bears had put up a good fight. The score came closer than it usually did and Suki got more of a workout than she had in awhile. She got home late, having stopped to grab a bite to eat with her teammates. When she opened the door, Momo looked up and froze mid step from where he was standing on the back of the couch.

They made eye contact for a moment and Suki wanted nothing more than to rush over and cheer that he finally ventured out of his hiding place but, not wanting to scare him, she withheld. Tearing her gaze away, she headed to the bathroom and turned on the shower. She needed it after that game.

She was sweaty and grimy and the hot water was relaxing but she tried to keep the shower quick. As nice as it was to close her eyes, let the heat wash over her, and lose herself in her thoughts, now wasn’t really the time for that. She washed and dried herself quickly before throwing on some lounge clothes and tying her wet hair up in a towel to dry.

When she left the bathroom, Momo was back under the table, eyeing her warily. Suki tried her best to give him his space for a little while, giving the apartment a once over to see if he’d tried to eat any of her beloved plants- he did not- before heading to the kitchen to prepare some cat food.

“I hope you’re hungry, Momo,” Suki said aloud as she plopped down on the rug, cat bowl in her lap. She shook it a bit before plucking a piece out and holding it up like an offering. “You want some?”

Momo just stared at her and didn’t move a muscle. Suki put the piece of kibble down halfway between them and waited. When Momo just looked at it, she went on her phone and tried not to look at him too much.

She was just about to send Sokka a funny meme she found when Momo stepped out, took the piece of kibble, and wandered up to her.

“Hey, buddy,” she cooed. She lifted her hand slowly, waiting for his reaction, before sinking her hand into his soft, white fur. “That’s right. Not so scary, huh? It’s just me. You want some food?”

Momo let out a pathetic mewl and clambered onto her knee to dip his muzzle into the bowl. He took a few neat bites at first before throwing himself into the meal and scarfing it down.

“You were hungry, huh?” Suki said, laughing a bit when Momo slipped and nearly fell in. “I probably should’ve fed you sooner. Don’t worry, tomorrow we’ll get on a schedule.”

Momo swallowed his last bite and mewed again, as if agreeing. Suki set aside the bowl and Momo wandered off but she felt like she’d made some progress. Momo would settle in well.

===================

“He’s not much of a hunter, huh?” Sokka stated as he bounced a feather on a string in front of Momo’s face. Momo just blinked at it and yawned.

It’d been about a week since Momo had moved in with Suki. She thought things were going pretty well. Momo didn’t hide under the table anymore. He seemed to like it down there but he never ran down there in fright and it didn’t take much coaxing to get him to come out. He seemed to prefer the cat tower anyway, though he never climbed very high.

Cats weren’t terribly exciting pets. Momo wasn’t a kitten, she didn’t need to teach him to use a litter box, and he wasn’t much of a scratcher. Still, as timid as he was, he’d proven himself to have some personality.

“He can be spunky when he wants to be,” Suki told him. “Try a ball, he likes batting those around.”

Sokka looked around for a ball and was just about to toss it to Momo when there was a knock at the door.

Momo’s tail shot up but he didn’t run. Suki considered that a good sign. “I can get it.”

Sokka didn’t respond and leaned down to roll Momo the ball. “Go get it. Fetch, boy.”

“He’s not a dog,” Suki called as she opened the door to reveal a familiar face. “Aang?”

“Hey Suki,” Aang greeted with a wild wave. “I just came by to drop off the rest of Momo’s paperwork.”

“I almost forgot about that,” Suki admitted. She accepted the stack of papers from him- ugh, she was really not looking forward to reading through all of those- and stepped aside from the doorway. “Come in. I’m sure Momo would like to see you. I’ve got a friend over but I’m sure he won’t mind.”

“I don’t!” Sokka yelled from the other side of the apartment. 

“Sokka?” Aang called as he entered. “Sokka, is that you?”

“Aang?” Sokka looked up from Momo, face flashing with recognition at the sight of the bald figure by the door, and grinned. “Oh hey! I didn’t know you and Suki knew each other!”

“I didn’t know you two knew each other either!” Aang said, slapping hands with Sokka when he approached. “This is way cool!”

“Wait, how do you know each other? Exes?” Suki guessed, glancing between them.

Sokka made a face. “Ew, no. Aang’s Katara’s boyfriend. We all went to high school together.”

Aang laughed a bit and scratched the back of his head nervously. “So how do you two know each other? Exes?”

“Ew, no,” Suki said, mimicking Sokka’s reaction. He stuck his tongue out at her.

“We went to university together,” Sokka explained. “And we were roommates for a bit, during and after college. And we work together. Just best friends in general. Wow, I’m really surprised I haven’t introduced you two yet.”

“Too much trans power in one room,” Aang joked. He and Suki high fived.

“Too much power for any room,” Suki agreed. “Have you met Toph? The three of us would be unstoppable.” 

“Oh my god,” Sokka said, rubbing his face with his hands. “Just go look at the damn cat, Aang.”

“Don’t talk about Momo that way,” Aang complained but was already hurrying over to the cat tower. “Momo! You miss me, buddy?”

Suki heard a mew from Momo and a sneeze from Aang and she figured everything was okay.

“You look over this and make sure I’m not signing away my soul or some shit,” Suki said, sliding the paperwork into Sokka’s hands, and joined Aang by the couch with Momo against Sokka’s protests.

“No swearing in front of the baby!” Aang piped up as Momo poked his head out of the cat tower and slunk down to the floor. Aang patted his lap and Momo slowly padded over to him. He didn’t climb into his lap like Aang seemed to want but he was nosing his knees curiously and that seemed to equally excite Aang. “What a good boy!”

With Sokka muttering behind her, Suki sat down and scooted over. Momo largely ignored her in a very catlike manner in favor of getting chin scritches from Aang. “I think he’s been settling in well. He doesn’t really hide anymore and he doesn’t really care when someone’s in the room with him.”

“That’s good,” Aang said, moving to scratch Momo’s ears. “Has he been eating?”

“Yeah. Kind of fast actually. He threw up once. It was pretty early on though so it might’ve been stress.”

Aang nodded thoughtfully. “Poop?”

“In the litterbox. Normal looking.” As far as she could tell at least.

“What about wandering the apartment? Does he go in the other rooms yet?”

“A bit. I’ve found him around once in a while but he seems to like it here the most. Is that something I should be worried about?”

Aang shook his head. “If he’s wandering around, that should be a sign he’s getting comfortable. I think it’s normal if he just hangs around in here most of the time though.”

Suki nodded, a bit relieved. It sounded like she was doing a good job. Suki, responsible cat owner. Then came Aang’s next question.

“Have you been playing Aquaman for him? I have some DVDs if you need them.”

======================

It was about a month and a half since Suki got Momo when she had the chance to get another day off from work. 

She loved her job, she really did. Working at Avatar Gaming was truly a dream come true and the project she was working on, The Last Airbender, was actually a lot of fun to work on. Granted, she wasn’t really part of the design or story building parts of the team but it was still satisfying work and could be entertaining. She still got to play around with different characters and attacks regularly. Plus, the work environment was great. She loved going into work. That didn’t mean she didn’t like a day off once in awhile.

Though today, she’d really regret taking the day off.

Momo was a bit antisocial today so Suki was alone in her bed painting her nails. Not the best place to do it, she knew, but she was careful. She missed a phone call, not wanting to pick up her phone with the polish still wet, but it was just Sokka so she didn’t think much of it. He could wait.

It was a good hour later before Suki remembered to call him back. And once she did, she really wished she’d called him sooner. Or not at all.

“Hey,” Sokka said quietly as Suki turned up the volume. His voice cracked, worrying Suki.

“Is everything okay?” Suki asked hurriedly. “Did something happen at work?”

“You could say that.” Sokka laughed but it sounded hollow. “We’re getting laid off.”

“What?” The world seemed to stop around her.

“We’re getting laid off, Suki. The whole team.”

“I heard you,” she croaked in disbelief sitting up a bit straighter. “I- What happened? Why?”

“The Last Airbender is getting popular,” Sokka told her. “They want to- They want another team to work on it. They said they wanted to make it cleaner. More up to standard with their other big games. Make it fancier or whatever. There’s a chance they might hire some of us back but…”

“That’s bullshit,” Suki said almost automatically but it felt like someone else was speaking through her mouth. “No way in hell am I working for them again if they think they can just lay me off.”

Sokka chuckled again. This time there was a bit more life in it but it still sounded as empty as Suki felt. “That’s what I said.”

“Do we have any details yet? How long do we keep working? Are we getting severance pay? Do you have money saved? Are we going to have to-”

“I don’t know yet,” Sokka admitted. “They just announced it, nothing more. They said they’d write everything up soon. I’m… I’m on a walk right now. Just soaking everything in. Trying not to kick over any trash cans. Can I call you back? I just wanted to make sure you knew.”

“I- Yeah. Yeah, Sokka. Take however much time you need.”

“Bye.” Then, almost as an afterthought, he softly added, “Love you, no romo.”

That got a chuckle out of Suki, despite the water beginning to well up in her eyes. “Love you too, Sokka. No romo.”

Suki’s phone beeped as Sokka hung up and the dam broke.

Suki didn’t know why she was crying. Geez, she was a grown woman. Getting laid off wasn’t really a big deal, people got laid off all the time, but it was a big deal for her. She’d been working on that game practically since it’s making. Right out of college. It was the longest job she’d ever held down and she’d grown really attached to it. It was hard to think that she wouldn’t be working on it anymore. That her employers just saw her and her team as… worthless.

And there was the whole financial aspect. She needed that job. She needed income. She needed to pay for her apartment and for food and water and medical expenses and for Momo’s everything and insurance and everything. It was all so much. She was fine now but what if the money she had saved ran out before she found another job? Or if she couldn’t find a good job and she got stuck in some minimum wage shithole? 

She wasn’t in college anymore, there were no counselors to help out or career fairs to go to. She’d need to, like, job hunt. With a lay off on her resume. Did layoffs affect things? She knew it wasn’t as bad as getting fired but still. Like a dishonorable discharge. Wait, no, that was probably really disrespectful to say. But it couldn’t look good. Gosh, working for Avatar really was a dream job. She doubted any other big gaming companies were hiring. Any gaming company would be amazing but it was unlikely she’d get another opportunity. Unless they were producing more new games. But then she could just get laid off again when it started getting popular…

She was spiraling. Fuck, where was her phone? If it got tangled in the bed sheets, she’d never find it. She needed to hold something. Something to ground her, something to distract her.

She heard a mew and saw Momo poke his little head through the door.

“Go away, Momo,” she choked out, burying her face in her hands. “It smells like nail polish in here. You’ll hate it. You have such a cute nose and it will hate it.”

Momo ignored her and the smell. He hesitantly padded in before trotting up to the bed and neatly leaping up to where Suki was. Suki momentarily drew her hands away from her face to look at him. He mewled again and butted her knee with his head.

And then Suki couldn’t hold back the waterworks anymore.

Until now, her tears had been silent but now they were gushing out and she couldn’t hold back the sobs. She pulled Momo into her lap and held him close, too caught up in her own whirlwind of emotions to be surprised that he wasn’t struggling. She ran her long fingers through his short, white fur and let herself cry unabashedly. 

Momo didn’t judge her. He didn’t say anything. He didn’t make her feel any worse. Momo didn’t even look at her. He just sat with her, lending any comfort he could with his presence until the tears and sobs began dying down.

“Thanks, Momo,” Suki sniffed, playing with Momo’s ears absently. “You’re a good friend, you know that buddy?”

Momo didn’t give any sign he’d heard her and just snuggled down further into her lap and purred softly. And Suki smiled. She didn’t think she could but she did. She didn’t know what was going to happen and she was terrified for her future but at least she had her cat. With Momo here with her, things would be alright.

============

Other AroWriMo stories my me

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 256: Fucking Superb You Funky Little Hero Eggs

Previously on BnHA: Aizawa and Mic’s frankensteined best friend Shirakumo, better known to us as Kurogiri, had his memories briefly restored through the Power of Friendship, and was all “YO Y’ALLS BETTER GO CHECK OUT THOSE HOSPITALS” before his head started steaming like a tea kettle and he randomly fell asleep. Aizawa and Mic were all “!!” and Aizawa was all “(ಡ ﹏ ಡ)” and Mic was all “Aizawa are you crying” and Aizawa was like “NO!!!” and then they left the prison and Nao called HPSC Lady who called Hawks and was all “eck-chay ethay ospitals-hay” because Hawks, as you recall, is still a secret agent and all that. Anyway so Hawks was all “EUREKA!!” in his head which doesn’t really add up but hey, and then the chapter ended with Dr. Ujiko dancing in sadistic glee as he watched Tomura get all mad scienced. It was pretty freaky. I could use some wholesomeness right about now so let’s see if this chapter will deliver.

Today on BnHA: Class 1-A shows off the fresh skills they learned during their assorted internships, such as “determination”, “enhanced search techniques”, and “becoming a literal blob of acid.” The Wonder Trio is a particular highlight, and All Might is all “my little baby off to destroy people :’)” as he watches Deku shred a robot to pieces using Blackwhip. We then cut to Aizawa and Mic, who may or may not be planning some rogue vigilante style investigations of the whole Noumu thing, or maybe they’re just brooding, but either way they’re interrupted by Mirio and Tamaki who come running in to get them to stop Eri’s quirk from going haywire, which, yikes. The chapter then ends with All Might handing Deku a notebook full of DETAILED, CATALOGED INFO ABOUT THE PAST SUCCESSORS AND THE FUCKING SIXQUIRKS. We just have to wait two more weeks to find out what that’s all about. 2020’s got some fucking zip to it so far huh.

so it’s about a quarter past 7 right now and it’ll be a miracle if I can have this recap up by 10pm tonight. surprisingly the wait for this chapter didn’t really bother me, but this Sunday/Monday release schedule is really doing a number on my punctuality. but anyways we’ll figure it out eventually. if memory serves, there’s about a 90% chance that this week’s jump will also be a double issue, so that gives me another extra week to get my shit together lol

(ETA: so that wasn’t too far off actually! I think a three-hour turnaround time isn’t bad for 3000 words lol. and actually it was more like two hours of reading/blogging and one hour of editing/photo cropping. anyway so in all likelihood either Sunday or Monday night releases will become the norm, depending entirely on how busy that particular Sunday is. not quite the same as getting the chapter on Friday and having the whole weekend to ruminate over it but we will adjust!)

anyway, so I’m somehow remarkably unspoiled for this chapter despite it having been out for nearly a week and a half at this point. so that’s something! let’s see what we’ve got here

yaaaay my babies

All Might was offering free cotton candy, yes? I didn’t expect we’d cut right back to this lol, but you sure won’t see me complaining. I want to see what everyone else learned during their internships, and also what with the break and the last couple chapters being Tartarus-focused, it’s been about a month since I last saw my little hero eggs, and of course I missed them I’m only human

omg

did the original dialogue really reference Skynet. Horikoshi truly gives no fucks about copyright. like one or two episodes ago the anime made some copyrighted reference which you could clearly hear in the Japanese but which the English subs hilariously glossed right over. I’m trying to remember what it was now. damn. anyways we millennials can never resist a good pop culture reference, facts

OH MY GOD AOYAMA

THEY’RE EATING THE COTTON CANDY

TOKOYAMI EATING COTTON CANDY IS THE GREATEST THING TO HAPPEN IN 2020 THUS FAR. LET ME TELL YOU, WE REALLY NEEDED THIS

SHOUTO EATING COTTON CANDY IS THE SECOND BEST THING TO HAPPEN IN 2020. IT WAS VERY CLOSE

I STALLED FOR TIME SO MUCH AND I STILL DON’T KNOW WTF TO SAY ABOUT AOYAMA’S NEW ATTACK OH MY GOD. JUST. I DON’T KNOW YOU GUYS. THIS BOY IS REALLY OUT HERE SLICING ROBOTS IN HALF WITH HIS BRAND NEW LASER PENIS. THE AMOUNT OF FUCKS THAT HORIKOSHI GIVES IS IN THE NEGATIVES I DON’T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY

OH ARE YOU STILL GOING

is... what’s... ldkfj okay nothing to see here guys just the naked invisible chick getting all friendly with Aoyama’s beam boner. just manhandling his sparkle shaft. there are children reading this manga. I mean, they’re already mentally scarred from all the dead dogs and child quirk wine and whatnot, but still at what point do we put our goddamn foot down

anyway so somehow she’s redirecting his laser beam?? I guess with her light refracting quirk skills?? great job Hagakure with your help Aoyama can finally shoot lasers at stuff that’s behind him. you’ve mastered the power of making it so that he doesn’t have to turn around great job truly an internship well spent

“now I can yank light and warp it!” you go girl now you can whip that thing around like it’s a fucking fire hose I guess

YOOOOO MINA!!

THIS GIRL LITERALLY COATED HERSELF IN ACID AND DID A FUCKING BARREL ROLL AHHHHHHHHH. NOW THAT’S MORE LIKE IT, NO OFFENSE TO CAPTAIN DISCO DONG AND COMMODORE “I CAN DO EVERYTHING A MIRROR CAN DO” BUT THERE ARE UPGRADES AND THERE ARE UPGRADES, AND LET’S FACE IT, THIS IS THE REAL DEAL HERE

AHAHAHA I LOVE ITTTTT

is it too late for Mina to actually change her name to Acidman. what is she calling herself now again?? Pinky?? come on Mina strike some fear into the hearts of your enemies

and now All Might and the others are applauding. I don’t see Shouto’s cotton candy anymore. boy fucking inhaled that shit

oh wow, they interned under Yoroi Musha? if memory serves me, and I’m honestly not going to bother to check right now, isn’t that the samurai dude who somehow beat Ryuukyuu in the billboard charts? not that I’m still salty about that, oh wait I absolutely am but anyways

OH MY

IS THAT SOME KIRIMINA CONTENT UP IN MY PANELS. hot damn that is some cute fucking shit. Mina better not get any undue hate for this. everyone please remain calm this cute interaction does not threaten your ship in any way (unless you want it to in which case have at!!) and we can all have fun if we just play nice you guys

lmao All Might

“WE’RE ALREADY ON PAGE FOUR AND THERE ARE TWENTY OF YOU, WE DON’T HAVE ALL FUCKING DAY CHILDREN”

so Satou and Ojiro learned how to punch harder and stuff. again, it’s fine, we can’t all be Acid Men. but meanwhile they interned with some lion guy named Shishido whom I INSTANTLY LOVE so that’s badass. only one character away from Shishida though, but that’s Horikoshi for you

OH MY GOD

BLAH BLAH YES ENHANCED SEARCH TECHNIQUES ZZZZZ BUT FUCKING LOOK THOUGH AT THE FLASHBACK OF HIM YEETING THEM, YESSSSSS. THE OLD WAYS HAVE NOT YET BEEN FORGOTTEN, GANG ORCA YOU ARE THE HERO WE DESERVE

meanwhile Sero, Kami, and Mineta learned how to literally kill people with their quirks flkdjsflk

(ETA: btw I really love that Mt. Lady’s internship emphasized teamwork. now there’s someone who’s come a really long way her own self. anyway I stan and she had better join the other two in the the top 10 real soon. come on BnHA society get with it.)

damn Mt. Lady what the fuck. “if you guys work together you can suffocate and electrocute villains to death with ease!” the government’s plan really is working huh; these children have become bloodthirsty, ruthless killers in a shockingly short period of time

anyways so Iida as we all recall learned how to be more footloose and fancy free, and meanwhile Kouda learned “smooth communication” from Wash, the literal washing machine man whom I also don’t still harbor a grudge against for inexplicably beating my dragon queen in the hero polls, and once again that is a lie because fuck you Wash! you’re adorable but fuck you!!

man this is taking forever why are there so many kids in this class. for anyone wondering why Horikoshi doesn’t focus on class 1-A as a whole more often and leaves them as supporting characters, this right here is why. I love these children to death but we would still be stuck in the basement arc. oh my god I just shuddered

Tokoyami mastered “improvement on all fronts” because I guess he kind of peaked at flying when it came to new moves huh. that’s fine for now

and Kiri mastered “making baddies lose the will to fight real quick” which sounds like some bullshit you’d write while desperately trying to pad your hero resume, except that it’s accompanied by this convincing panel of him chomping a steel bar in two or some shit which YIKES

can confirm, if some demonic rock man came trotting up to me and snapped off some railing from some stairs and fucking snapped it like a twig with his GIANT FOSSILIZED DINOSAUR TEETH, I’d lose my will to fight pretty quickly too

and Ochako and Tsuyu learned “determination” smdh. Horikoshi did you fucking fall asleep towards the end of this segment or what

WHO IS MAJESTIC OMG

excuse me did she just create a bunch of fucking dynamites. is that what those are. is my girl encroaching on my young son’s turf. because if she is, ENCROACH, MOMO, ENCROACH! FEEL FREE TO FUCKING IMPINGE, EVEN!! god, and I know I was bitching just a moment ago about these “lessons” becoming increasingly vague and intangible and motivational poster-y, but I read Momo and “predicting and acting efficiently”, and my thoughts immediately ran to Nighteye and Mirio’s fighting styles, and I was like “YESSSSSSSSS” because, I mean. YES, though

meanwhile Kacchan has learned...

this fucking -- I swear -- YOU LEARNED WHAT YOUR FUCKING HERO NAME IS GOING TO BE YOU TROLLING PIECE OF SHIT. oh my god. Katsuki I swear to god I will take your internet privileges. NO SRIRACHA FOR A WEEK UNLESS YOU TELL ME WHAT IT IS

oh for fuck’s sakes

don’t mind him he learned boom with five b’s and three oo’s what did you all do this week. and somehow Todoroki learned how to be even more fabulous

so All Might’s looking on in pride and giving Endeavor some mental props, and waiting for Deku to go do his thing too

sdfkj he’s thinking about the day he gave Deku THE HAIR and that “[it] feels like ancient history now.” DOESN’T IT THOUGH?

OH MY FEELS

“you don’t look back at me anymore... and you don’t need to.” oh Aizawa’s dry eye has spread to me now huh. must be those January allergies. and that’s some nice bloop there kid. great jorb

someone tell All Might he’s not allowed to look on at Deku with this much fatherly love without giving me at least a week’s notice in advance

sigh. now you’ve done it you two I’m going to become a big cat blob of feels right here and it’s all on you. you did this

oh my god a whole big panel of reactions from the other kids and I’m ( ˊᵕˋ )

lol Kacchan can’t agree with anything even if it’s a compliment. and lmao, who the fuck was that who was all “TODOROKI FINALLY YOU’RE A FAST FUCKING HIMBO HUH!” like they really went and put that “finally” in there, like they were so fucking tired of Todoroki Shouto and his LANGUID FUCKING PACE all the fucking time, GOD, FINALLY SOME SPEED BOY WE WERE DYING OUT HERE

Mineta being happy for Deku also warms my heart, ngl. we’ve gone almost an entire chapter with Mineta not doing anything even remotely perverted, can it be, has Horikoshi finally chilled the fuck out. or did I just jinx it we shall see

also love how Deku is just reduced to an inkblot here and it still is him beyond any shadow of a doubt. and poor Sero, you are also being impinged on huh

lmao Mineta’s just socking Deku in the solar plexus out of comradery and Deku’s fucking vomiting on reflex and not even paying the slightest attention wtf

I love this panel there I said it

so he’s going over and thanking Ochako for “that time” and says he’s using Blackwhip a lot better now. I assume he’s referring to when he first unlocked it and went hog wild and she was all “smh” and went and hugged him to put an end to that nonsense

oh, right!!!!

I forgot about those!! looool Horikoshi’s 2020 resolution is to make everyone Spider-Man now huh. hey everyone guess what I LOVE THIS

oh my god this wholesomeness

I fucking can’t?? yo I’m seriously living for this? I don’t get why some people think Deku inhibits Ochako’s character growth tbh. or that her story is becoming all about him. if it is, then it’s in the same way that Bakugou’s is. Deku keeps inspiring her to be better, ain’t nothing wrong with that. yes she has the crush, and she’s honest with herself and in tune with her emotions enough to be aware of it and to acknowledge it, but she refuses to be distracted by it. I actually really like that, because it shows that romantic feelings can actually exist and not be the central focus of a character’s story or their development. and I think the fear is that it somehow will become the focus, but so far I haven’t seen that happening, so it seems unwarranted to me

anyway

shit’s cute

oh no Mineta’s doing something weird I fucking did jinx it I’m sorry guys. it’s a fucking fistbump dude relax

so All Might seems to be dismissing them now, and he’s saying something about how he reordered (?? rescheduled, maybe??) class so that Aizawa can watch later. that’s nice. he’ll need something to cheer him up, and if Acidman can’t do the trick I don’t know what can

and now we’re cutting back to the dorms!! dorm shenanigans yessssss

oh no shit wait

these are not playful dorm shenanigans these are depressed Miczawa shenanigans to bring me down. nnnn

but Aizawa fucking knows something is up now, shit. that’s right son your babies are in danger

KLJKLGLKSH

okay (1) HOW HOT IS AIZAWA THOUGH HOW DOES HE ALWAYS DO THIS

and (2) is “have a karaoke contest” code for “fuck shit up” or what. son of a bitch, having these two so personally invested in the Noumu arc now is such an unexpected and wonderful gift

MIRIO NO

(ETA: but you all know Aizawa was about to say “I’d go and fuck shit up” though.)

I LOVE YOU BOTH BUT THEY WERE HAVING A SEXY ANGSTING MOMENT, MIRIO CAN YOU NOT READ THE ROOM!! DO YOU NOT SEE THEM BEING ALL ANGSTY AND DARKLY CONTEMPLATIVE!! YOU TWO OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW WHEN LOVERS ARE BONDING OVER THEIR ANGST WHICH ONLY THE TWO OF THEM UNDERSTAND! FUCKING GODDAMN

NO!!!!!

[SLAMS HANDS ON TABLE] HORIKOSHI I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU LAY ONE FINGER ON HER PRECIOUS HEAD

NOOOO MY SWEET BABY GIRL

oh my fuck that sweater is the cutest fucking thing and this girl has had no shortage of cute outfits let me tell you. BUT ANYWAY SHE’S SCARED AND CRYING NOOOO. holy shit her horn is fucking huge now I don’t feel comfortable with this at all, and Nejire is Best Mom for not giving a single fuck and holding and comforting her regardless of the risk, I love her so much

OH THANK GOD

PALPABLE RELIEF. boys I’m sorry it was wrong of me to yell, you did the right thing interrupting their sexy brooding

BREAK ROOM AHHHHH THE SCOOBY SQUAD LIVES AGAINNNN

it means you constantly amaze him!! you have so much potential he doesn’t even know what the limit might possibly be! don’t act like you don’t love it. or stop being so suspicious and trying to look for the hidden meaning and just accept the praise for what it is. you did good. now ask him if he’s heard any news about Best Jeanist :/

!!

that’s right, he was researching and making faces a while back, are we finally gonna find out what all that was about??

DSLFKAJSLDKFH

HE MADE A NOTEBOOK FOR HIM AHHHHHHHH HE KNOWS WHAT HE LIKES THIS IS AMAZING

DOES HIM GIVING HIM THE INFO IN NOTEBOOK FORM MEAN IT’S UP TO DEKU WHETHER OR NOT HE WANTS TO SHARE THIS INFO WITH KACCHAN. HMMM. OBVIOUSLY HE WILL, BUT THAT’S A REAL POWER MOVE THOUGH, DAMN

“PAST SUCCESSORS / QUIRKS” EVERYONE, THIS BOOK CONTAINS THE SECRETS OF THE SIXQUIRKS. AND THE PREVIOUS OFA AVATARS. THAT’S FINE I’M JUST GONNA. ...I’LL BE FINE. FOR TWO WEEKS. FUCK

shit. well I know it was coming, that’s another reason why I didn’t feel particularly rushed to read this chapter lol. I kinda wish I’d had the foresight to save the Korean scanlation though, just to compare. ah well it’s probably still lying around somewhere

and lol and here’s the bonus page, and this one I did see floating around tumblr haha

I’m not sure how the three smartest kids in class are all present and yet not one of them had the foresight to consider that maybe, just maybe, this could be a bad idea. let’s let the kid with the combustible sweat handle the mochi I’m sure it’ll be -- [everyone immediately dies]. anyway so that’s some good friendly advice from Horikoshi there. happy new year friends!

[imagine-loki]

Return

TITLE: Return CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter One AUTHOR: theterrifyingtermite ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine that, at the end of Endgame, Loki comes back. Only one problem: this isn’t your Loki… (click to continue) RATING: T NOTES/WARNINGS: After a five year lapse, it’s good to be back!  So, this imagine is a few months old, but I’ve been mulling over it since it posted and just recently had time to smash it all out. It sort of got away from me, heh. It’s set in the same little word I created all those years ago, so they didn’t meet at the Tower, but no worries. This chapter references them briefly (Won’t You, Promise Me, You’re Mine, For Cooking or For Worse, and In Fishing and In Stealth), but it’s not imperative to know them. Everything else stays the same from the original Imagine. On that note, eeeenjoy! (hopefully)

Chapter One

When her life had restarted, it came back to her slowly.

She had blinked once, then shut her eyes immediately – the dimmed light glowing from somewhere proving to be too much too soon.

With several deep, slow breaths, she tried to mentally backtrack. The date. Early morning. Breakfast? No, not yet. The news. People were outside, suddenly screaming; shouting, and then –

Her breath caught in her throat. Instinctively, she flexed her fingers, and allowed her nails dig into her palm to the count of ten while she continued to evaluate. She was curled up on her side on a familiar-feeling rug, and nothing felt broken. When she had blinked, she saw the TV sitting on its shelf, turned off instead of on. Her fingers were working; therefore, her last memory of them dusting away had to be false.

Or so she thought. That is – until she heard the first strangled whimper come from behind her.

With a groan, she rolled forward, her body beginning to react more normally. She pushed herself up, rubbed at her eyes, and then forced herself to look ahead.

Six thin, haunted-looking teenagers stared back.

___

She dropped onto her couch, shivering once more. The thermostat had been raised, blankets and tea had been acquired, and yet she still felt as if she were freezing from the inside out. The wintry weather outside did nothing to help the situation; nor did the approach of the end-of-year holidays.

After tucking a fluffy, woolen throw more tightly around herself, she nestled back into the cushions, tea warming her hands at least, settled for another night of news recaps. A local station had decided to give an evening hour to a meticulous review of the past five years.

At least, this way, there would not be quite as much of an information gap – or so they said.

She disagreed.

It was still odd. She would go out into the world; into her city, and she would see such things as to puzzle her exceedingly. There were trees now that had seemed barely a wisp before; children she vaguely remembered young no longer. The entire atmosphere, while improved with the return of those who had had “blipped,” was still off-putting. She felt out of place; out of time.

Out of luck.

___

She stared; they stared.

One of the boys started crying.

Her eyes shifted from face to face; she must know them – mustn’t she?

There were a couple that were achingly familiar, and when the crying one gasped out a “It’s you,” she knew that she had to know them.

Opening her mouth, clearing her throat, then stilling suddenly – the one that had whispered her name like a prayer had lunged forward, dropped to the floor, and thrown his arms around her, shaking as he sobbed her name.

Her identity thus being established, and her arms full, the other five all began to talk and move around excitedly, grabbing random items and shouting things at her simultaneously.

“It was half the earth’s population –“

“They were all there in Wakanda it was so crazy–“

“My mom disappeared while we were parking, and I –“

“We didn’t have anywhere to go, and we didn’t want to go to a communal home –“

“There was this spaceship in New York and Iron Man apparently –“

“Ma’am, don’t you remember me?”

The one in her arms had pulled back suddenly, an impish grin lighting up his features.

And then she did.

The little boy up the street who would bring her flowers and tried so hard to fix her step.

Little no more. Still talking, and she blinked to re-focus.

“–no one knew what happened; everyone just disappeared. That was five years ago – five years! Whatever happened the Avengers must has fixed it; they must have changed it back somehow!”

And then he was standing, excitedly rattling off more about how her things were packed away nicely, obviously they would move out of her home, and he could come back and explain more but this probably meant his family was back and he needed to go, but he could come back and answer any questions, just not right now, and she understood, didn’t she?

Obviously not.

___

Out of hope.

One hand dropped from her mug to wrap around her stomach. One of the first episodes of the televised “Earth’s Five-Year History” recap had been to explain exactly what the Blip was, how it had happened, and what had been done to reverse it. Everything was fixed. Everything was better. We’ll help you re-acclimatize to life; we’ll take care of you.

At least on the last one they had.

As if sensing where her thoughts had gone, the little one shifted, kicking against the side of her stomach where her hand rested.

Rubbing the spot and only wincing slightly, she found herself tuning out the news caster discussing the rates of agriculture change in the last few months before those Blipped reappeared.

After the boys had left her, it had taken several more minutes for her to remember the most important aspect of her disappearance and reappearance, registering it only after noticing the sparkle on her left hand.

Loki.

If he had come and found her gone…well, now that the entire universe had presumably been reborn, he would know and he would come back, as he promised.

Now she knew he never would.

At her sniffle, the baby kicked again.

___

The first two weeks had been pulled from hell; she was certain.

Being Blipped again would have been preferable to the amount of time she had to spend getting all her information renewed, contracts for electrical, Internet, and television reconnected – plus the endless visits to the OB-GYN once they had discovered she was pregnant.

That had been an interesting day.

Eventually, after another long, less interesting day of frustration at the local DMV – apparently not everything had improved over the last five years, though they swore it was the influx of people – she had come home, dropped onto the couch with her personally-termed ‘rations’, and the program had started.

Only half-way paying attention to anchors cheering on a return to normalcy, and instead mentally counting the days once again since she had last seen her fiancé and dreaming of the way to surprise him with her news – the tone changed.

Her brow furrowed.

They began to talk of those lost in the battle. Actually lost; not just Blipped away like the rest of them.

Tony Stark.

Natasha Romanoff.

Vision.

Several other “off-worlders,” in their words.

And then, with a grudging disclaimer that he had been the first to face on Thanos, and some muttering about how he had apparently changed…

Loki, the brother of Thor, former front-line assault of New York.

They kept talking, but she had gone elsewhere. Everything was still; silent, except for the thudding of her heart.

Loki, her breaking heart whispered, is forever lost to you.

There was a reason he had never come back.

The ring glinted in the light of the screen, flickering in and out, in and out, until she slapped at the power button and the room went dark.

Then she sobbed.

___

The start of the New Year.

Roughly four months of growing a baby down; six more to go.

Or so she thought.

She was colder every day.

Life, three months post-Blip, had slipped back into a semblance of normalcy. Production of all kinds was on the rise. The hope, and decent preparation that yes, the Avengers would save the world, had eased the transition.

Not fixed it, though. Not to her.

She still wore the ring.

It had been one of Frigga’s, pilfered away when Loki was young. He had given it to her that day – now, technically over five years ago. For her, only a few months had passed.

And he was gone.

Taking a deep breath, she rolled onto her side, curling more tightly into her pillow. It did no use dwelling on it. It was done; it was over. There was nothing she could do. At least she had a part of him; something to treasure for the rest of her life.

With determination, she closed her eyes, willing the chill away and begging her body to rest…

…with a start, she opened her eyes, freezing in place.

The sound came again; a familiar voice and some shuffled movement.

It couldn’t be.

Frantically, she kicked at the blankets, even as the voice – his voice – grew louder and more agitated. She rushed to the door, flung it open, dashed down the short hall, and slapped on the lights, staring; her heart racing, hearing him swear at the burst of light.

And he was there.

He was.

“Loki,” she gasped out as she swayed into the wall, clutching at it to stay on her feet, disbelief, panic, relief; everything flooding her at once. “You’re alive.”

His eyes trailed up her body, pausing briefly on her rounding stomach, before they finally reached hers.

Normally so gentle or teasing or ardent, his eyes were dark and cold and unfeeling.

[lizzytheauthor]

Why not, right? Might as well just post it chapter by chapter. I might need to figure out how to like...archive all of them in one post or...maybe I could just do a page or something on the blog? Idk. I’ll figure it out later. Here’s the first chapter

Chapter 1

Yellow. Blinded by yellow. I feel wind? When did I get outside? I feel...peaceful.

I blink my eyes, and suddenly I’m laying in my bed. I look at the clock, 8am. On the dot. I look over and see a still vacant bed. I don’t remember going to sleep last night, but I...I don’t think I saw this Pete person. Maybe he’s not in yet, maybe he’s arriving later. I’m not quite sure what I’m supposed to be doing. My “treatment” is at 9. Which is in an hour. I can only assume that the treatment in question is some kind of hypnosis. I don’t believe it personally. People going under and acting strangely? Nonsense. They insist that after three or four treatments I’ll be cured? Impossible.

I can’t have been sitting there for more than 5 minutes, thinking about what to do with my time. But a quick glance at my clock read 8:50am. I swear it hasn’t been 50 minutes, yet the clock betrays me. Maybe I’m just zoning out. I’ll have to mention it to the doc-

Knock. Knock.

8:59. Hm.

I go over to the door, and open it to see one of the large men from the front. He just grunts, and I assume that means I follow him. His pace seems a lot slower, probably due to his hulking mass. It allows me to look at everything around me with more detail. The doors predictably all look the same, the halls are a bland beige with a dark blue line at about doorknob height. Occasionally there’s a potted plant at a corner, or alcove. It all reeks of hospital. I don’t like it, nor do I trust it. I especially don’t trust the time. I’ve heard of time blindness, but...surely it’s not this bad?

We round a corner, and start climbing some stairs. Strangely, it does feel like I know where I’m going? Maybe it’s just cause I’m following a large man who clearly does know. These steps feel a little more daunting. I get a sense of apprehension about just climbing them. Like...Well. It sounds silly. I feel like the stairs go on forever? It doesn’t, I mean, I can see the top. It’s right there. But it feels like it.

This thought made me turn around. I felt like I had climbed at least a dozen or so steps, and sure enough the landing is simply 6 or 7 steps down. I don’t know how to parse this information. I think it’s better to ignore it for now.

The hulking man never said a word, didn’t notice anything strange I guess. We did reach the top, after an agonizing amount of time, impossible for me to trust my own sense of time. The top of the stairs was dark. As we reached it, the light came on overhead. All I could see is an endless expanse of darkened halls. I suppose they’re motion sensors, and I’m the first treatment of the day. Maybe.

A split second, I could’ve sworn I could….hear something. I’m not sure what. Maybe it’s just the hum of the lights as they slowly gain heat from being on?

We pass door, after door, after door. It seems endless, monotonous, boring. Finally, after probably the longest walk down like 3 halls and some stairs, of my life. The large man stops, and gestures to a door.

I open it, and walk through, cause I can’t exactly tell that kind of man no, ya know? Inside the door, is a small room, there’s a single chair, under a light fixture, it’s somewhat reminiscent of a dentists office. But with less actual equipment. The door is closed behind me, and I decide to sit in the chair, cause I’m sure as hell not gonna stand. And I wait.

I wait. I wait. I wait. There’s no clock in here, so I don’t know how much time passes. If you pressed a gun to my head and asked me to tell you how much, I’d say 3 hours. Finally, the doorknob turned, and in came a doctor. A woman, early thirties probably. Long black hair, pulled into a ponytail. She’s wearing a white lab coat, and has small rectangular glasses, which she adjusted as she entered.

“Hello, uh” she looks at her clipboard, which I didn’t notice her holding previously. “Ralph. That’s a nice name.” she gives a smile, this one feels genuine. More sincere some how.

“Yea...uh...Hi?” I let out, I try not to stammer my words, I don’t even know why it’s hard for me to talk.

Her smile maintains, almost alleviating my previous concerns. Almost.

“My name is Cera. Cera O’Hara.” she extends her arm, to give me a handshake.

I think that’s what’s throwing me off, she’s the first person that seems..well...like a person. A genuine, sincere one. I take her hand, and shake it.

“Uh, can I. Hm.” I pause, maybe this is a weird question. “What time is it?”

“Oh!” she pulls out a pocket watch, it seems basic at a glance. As I stare at it, I notice there is an almost beautiful intricate etching in it. “It’s 9:15. Right, sorry about the lateness, I overslept on accident.” She puts away the pocket watch. “So, this first session isn’t going to be all that exciting. I just need to perform a basic analysis of your mental state, so I know how to properly proceed with treatment.” she lets out a light chuckle, “Not that I don’t trust the state’s doctors, but ‘C-PTSD’ is hardly a comprehensive diagnosis. It doesn’t even state causative traumas, attempted treatments, possible co-morbid diagnoses, et cetera.”

I nod my head as though I understand, but this is all way over my head. Honestly, it’s a little boring, and I almost feel as though I could fall asleep to her voice.

“So, let’s begin!” she says, with a clap.

Then, suddenly. I’m in my room. I...How did I get here? I don’t...quite remember…

A look at the clock above my door, it says it’s only 10:30...the sun is out, so it’s still morning. I remember in those ghost stories, that digital stuff is always unreliable, and old stuff works better. I focus my hearing, and I feel like with the silence of the building I can hear the motor in the clock, along with the Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Not digital. I breathe a sigh, but I don’t know if it’s from relief or...hm. Wait. No, there’s no apprehension. If I see Cera I’ll have to thank her...I’m sure this is probably her doing. It’s been...a while since I felt no tension in my shoulders.

I look at the calendar, and see there’s nothing on the schedule. Or rather, it’s more accurate to say that the only things on the calendar are treatment times. So I guess I have free access? I feel hungry, so I guess breakfast is as good as anything to start my day with. I hear it’s the most important meal of the day.

I chuckle at my dumb thought.

I begin to leave the room, and bump into him. I would not have expected pete to look like this, but I mean, he’s entering the room, so surely it’s him. He has curly red hair, glasses that seem more like binoculars on his eyes, and he’s so skinny, and short.

“Oh, uh, hi!” I try to let out, as I step aside letting him in.

He doesn’t respond immediately, instead goes to his bed and sits down. It takes a moment of agonizing silence, before he finally looks up, and notices me.

“Hello!!” he waves with this with a surprising cheerfulness, like I suddenly snapped him back into reality. “My name is Pete, are you just arriving?”

I nod, “uh, erm. No, I” I point to my bed, expecting it to be messy as I don’t remember making it. But… “Ah, well..uh, no. I came yesterday, I think.”

He looks mildly confused, but shrugs it off, “So you’ve had your first treatment then?”

“I...I think? I don’t remember. I remember the lady saying we weren’t doing anything today, but then I-”

“-’Woke up’ in your bed?” he finishes for me. “It happens.” he shrugs.

“So, that’s normal then?”

Pete thinks for a moment, “Uh, normal isn’t normal here. You’ll see, I think.” he takes out a drawing pad, and a pencil, and he starts drawing.

Not wanting to disturb my new roommate, I check the clock. 10:35. I could swear that it was longer than 5 minutes, but I suppose my sense of time is just shot. Oh! Breakfast, right. I’m hungry. My legs moved on their own, and I began to walk through the halls, I felt like I was on the second floor still, but a window I passed by betrayed me. I was on the first floor. I don’t recall any stairs. Maybe I was zoning out way harder than I thought. Finally I made it to the cafeteria.

“Hey ralph!” the jovial man handing food out addressed me, “You’re a little early for lunch, unless you want a second breakfast?” He waits for my response.

“Uh, wait, second? I never had a first.”

Brian winks at me, “Oh, I see, well here, how about some pancakes?” he seems to be sharing a one sided inside joke that I do not get.

“Sure, that sounds great!” the enthusiasm that erupts out of me surprises me.

The enthusiasm puts a thought into my mind that maybe this isn’t such nonsense. Brian puts a couple pancakes on my plate, and I walk to the table. I think about all the creepy stuff, but maybe it’s not actually creepy. Maybe it’s strange, yea, but I mean, if this fixes me, then why not? I feel better already, I think. And that was just after one treatment, which I was told wasn’t even anything.

My eyes feel kinda heavy. I should eat a little bit, for energy. I think.

With a blink, I’m transported away. A field of wheat. I notice immediately, that I’m alone, and the wheat seems endless. There’s no house, no building of any kind, no trees, nothing. Just endless wheat. I notice second, that I’m not scared. It actually feels peaceful.

I felt compelled to start walking, feeling the wind on my face, the wheat against my hands. I can almost hear voices carried by the wind, but no. I can’t make anything out. Honestly, it feels nice to just not be fearful. Stressed. I must be dreaming, right? I can’t quite wake up. Or rather, I can’t feel my sleeping body. I guess. It’s not another nightmare, yet, so I’ll just enjoy this. I’m sure it’s not unusual for a 19 year old to pass out in a cafeteria.

I walk endlessly, it feels like forever, and I know I can certainly not trust dream time. I can’t even trust my real time, so there’s no point really. I just walked. A building begins to blur into focus, in the distance. I decide to go towards it, I have nothing else to do. The building doesn’t seem to get any closer. Hours upon hours I walk towards it.

I think for a moment, that this actually IS another nightmare, but that’s not the feeling I feel. I still feel that serene grace. That quiet peace. Just walking. Maybe it’s the wind, maybe it’s the sun on my face. I don’t know. I continue walking. This seems...Fami-

CLAP.

I’m ripped out of my dream. I don’t recognize the room I’m in, but it’s not a bedroom. I try and take in my surroundings, but everything seems fuzzy. Like, like trying to imagine your childhood room, by someone who is describing it through old pictures that are worn. You can almost tell where you are, but not quite.

“Hey, come back to me.” a girls voice. No, woman. Older for sure. Not terribly old.

I try to look at the voice, but it’s so hard to focus. Why can’t I focus?

“Feel your senses returning to you, become aware of your surroundings. It’s not terribly difficult. I do apologize for the abruptness, but this is the first time you’ve been alone.” as she says this, things start coming into focus. Slowly.

The woman in the room with me, has long brown hair. Her face feels gentle, even though it’s still slightly fuzzy.

“My name is Valerie. But please don’t call me that. Call me Val.” her attitude seems different. Normal? Well, not normal for this place. But, like, normal for outside.

I become acutely aware of the room. We’re in a gym or something. There’s weights, and exercise machines. We’re the only two in the room, and it’s much bigger than I thought it was at first.

All I can mutter is, “What?”

“Come on, surely you realize what’s happening?” she waits, and I just stand there. Clearly irritated, she continues, “Hypnosis? I mean really, you’re in a hypnosis institute. Did you think it’d be therapy and gumdrops for your stay?”

She goes to the door, and checks both ways out the halls.

“Hypnosis?” I ask. I still struggle to find my thoughts.

“Ugh, yes.” she hands me a watch, “Don’t let them see this. Try to not lose time.”

I check the watch, it’s digital. 3:39pm. I lost 5 hours.

“No, no no. This has to be wrong. It was only 10 something a second ago.” I protest, but she waves her hand dismissing it.

“Missing time means they’re stealing it.” she glances out again. “Hey, go to reception, and ask for a journal. They hand them out to everyone that asks. Keep track of...well. Keep track of anything that feels important.”

“What?” but it’s no use, she’s out the door and down the hall.

I guess...I guess I’m going to go to reception and get a journal. I step out of the gym, and try to get a feel for where I am. I honestly don’t know. I see some people who look like people who work here, and decide to approach them. After all, I haven’t done anything wrong, there’s no reason for me to fear these people. Right?

“Hey, I think I’m lost.” I start, “I was eating lunch, and then all of a sudden I was in that gym.”

Which isn’t entirely the truth, but also not a lie. Surely they’d understand.

“You’re not lost.” one of them says.

I take a step back, I...what?

“What? No, I...” but then it hits me. I do know where I am. No, wait. I don’t. I swear I don’t. But my feet are already moving. Whatever panic might have started building is swiftly replaced with a calm. I don’t understand. I don’t understand any of this.

I just, try and convince my feet I want to go to the receptionist. I pass some people dressed in clothes similar to mine, they don’t acknowledge my existence. I notice they seem happy, it feels genuine. Maybe. I doubt it. I continue walking down the light beige halls, with it’s green line at doorknob height. It seems off, but I can’t quite place my finger on it.

After a handful of minutes, I arrive at the receptionist desk. I see Miranda, typing at her computer. The computer looks like an old 90’s era computer. Not what I expected in this new age institute. At any rate, Miranda notices my presence.

“Oh! Ralph! Hello! Can I help you with anything?” her cheerful attitude is still overwhelming.

“Uh, y-yea. Can I have a journal? I want...I want to write my thoughts down.” I don’t quite know what I’m going to write, but…

“Oh, pesky thoughts. Always getting in the way, I think. Maybe writing them down will rid you of them!” she smiles at me, I don’t fully get her meaning, but that sounded threatening. She reaches under her desk and pulls out an all black notebook. It looks leather? I take it. “Off you go now, it’s almost time for bed!”

I look at the clock on the wall above her. 7:40. I glance to the front doors, to confirm that it is indeed night already. How did I lose…

“Uh, oh. Ok. Yea.” I turn and go back down the hall. I feel Miranda burning a hole in my back with her stare.

After I’m well out of Miranda’s gaze, I take the watch out of my pocket. 4:39pm. I don’t get it. I don’t understand. I look around the halls, and there’s no windows. I look at one of the plaques, and see I’ve already made it to my room. I...this is strange. I don’t understand. I shouldn’t, I mean. Once again I feel the panic start to build, and it swiftly gets crushed. Nothing. Calm? No, that’s not quite it.

I walk in, and see out the window, the sun is out. It’s not right. Nothing is right. I’m not. I don’t think I’m crazy. Am I?

“Hey dude, I’m about to go get some dinner.” Pete was still drawing on his bed. I don’t know if he’s moved at all from that spot, though he is laying down instead of sitting now. He looks at me, “Whoa, hey, you ok? You’re sweating.” he sits up, and grabs a remote to turn the ceiling fan on.

Did we always have one? I don’t remember.

Am I sweating? I must be, my clothes feel damp.

“Uh, I think I’m gonna lay down...Could, you..” I pause. I don’t know what to say. How do you explain this? Maybe he knows. “Do you lose time?”

He looks at me, concerned, “Yea. I do. Hey, let me grab some food for you, just lay down, take it easy.”

He walks off. I decide to write this in my journal. Maybe taking note of things will help me retain my sanity. I hope it does. I keep the watch next to my journal as I write, I really don’t want to ‘lose’ any more time. They don’t deserve it, it’s mine.

After writing how I felt, the time loss, the way this building seems to claim my sanity. I just lay there. I feel exceptionally exhausted, yet somehow still relaxed. Is this intentional? Is this fixing me? To be fair, I haven’t thought about my parents. I feel frustrated. Again, the feeling gets squished by a larger pacificati….that’s it. Pacification. That’s what I’m feeling.

Last time I looked at the watch it said 7:06pm. A little early, but my body needs the rest. Wait, wasn’t Pete going to bring me dinner?

I hope he’s ok. I can’t help but feel myself drift off to sleep at this thought. Yellow. Again, that blinding yellow.

[justjessame]

A Reluctant Hero Chapter 7

Kelsey followed me home when I retrieved my car from the bar parking lot. Once at the house, she mentioned she was going to take a nap, and I rolled my eyes as she gave my cell phone a loaded glance. Honestly, just because I had JD’s number now, didn’t mean I was going to call him. I wasn’t sure I wanted to, aside from the fact that even drunk me had great taste in wanting him naked and sweaty, I hadn’t exactly been at my best when we met. And knowing that he was fresh out of a situation of his own wasn’t all that inspiring for starting up something with him.

Rebound. That’s what we’d be for one another. If I called him up, if we pursued whatever spark we might have felt, it would flare hot and bright and then fizzle out. That’s what rebounds were. The way to cleanse the palette before you find a lasting relationship. Hell, books were written about this shit. Not that I’d ever read them, but still. It was common fucking knowledge. No matter the age, you don’t stay with whomever comes right after a breakup.

With that in mind, I didn’t call him. I tried very fucking hard to NOT think about him between shit I did to keep busy. Stuff like editing my newest book, or starting another story. No, JD Richter was NOT going to work for a rebound. IF I gave him a call, it wouldn’t be for a fast and hot affair, because even drunk, hungover, and a tad bit stupid, I knew that JD would be wasted as a rebound fling. He was the type of man that a woman should want to hook, mount, and keep forever. Anyone who didn’t see that was a fucking idiot.

He broke first. Four days after I woke up in his bed, my phone rang and I didn’t even pay attention to who the caller was because I was engrossed in the writing of a new chapter to a new book. Answering it almost absently, it took a moment for my brain to disengage from the computer in front of me and HEAR the voice speaking to me.

“I’m sorry, who did you say was calling?” No, I thought, it couldn’t be-

That deep rumble of a laugh and I could swear it vibrated through the phone and I could feel it in my toes. “Forgot me already, Ani? That stings.” I swallowed loudly. Shit. “JD? Kelsey’s dad? Prince Charming since I put Cinderella’s shoes back on?”

I had to shake my head at that comparison. “Pretty sure Cindi didn’t lose her shoes because she was shitfaced, but I won’t deny that you were my hero.” Another chuckle from his end. “Sorry I was in the middle of writing and-”

“I should let you go?” He was asking, not agreeing.

“No,” my voice had grown quiet, and I wanted to smack myself from how needy I sounded. “It’s fine, I can pick it back up anytime.”

“I’m sorry I had to rush out the other day,” he offered, and I thought I heard the sound of liquid flowing into a glass. “Work, it never ends.” Kelsey had filled me in on how he’d lost his license, but after the truth had come out, fought to get it back.

‘Work’s important. Pays the bills, right?” I stood up from my desk and wandered to my kitchen. “I hope it wasn’t something gruesome.”

We chatted about what he did for a living, and as we spoke, I made a late lunch. “What’s that noise on your end?” He asked, clearly picking up the sound of me setting the pan on my stove, and the sounds of me assembling my ingredients.

“I’m making lunch,” looking at how late it was, I realized it was too late for even the latest lunch. “Maybe dinner, actually.”

“You cook?” The interest in his voice was clear.

I grinned as I worked at chopping and measuring. “Well, I have to eat, so learning to make something a little more filling than peanut butter sandwiches seemed like a good idea.” I could swear I heard him smile. “You don’t cook?”

“Never seem to have the time,” he answered and it was my turn to smile. “I haven’t had a home cooked meal-”

“Are you jockeying for an invitation, JD?” It went quiet on his end, and I considered taking it back, but then I thought fuck it. “There’s more than enough for two.”

I heard rustling from his end, and then the telltale jingle of a set of keys. “I’ll be right over.”

Once I had dinner steadily bubbling and baking, I took a look at my appearance and was thankful that I’d taken that very cold shower earlier. Rushing to my bedroom, I grabbed something that was attractive, but not overly done up. Another pair of skinny pants, this time in a faux buttery leather and a loose fitting tank, my hair was piled up on my head and I forewent shoes. My house, no need for heels.

I was back in the kitchen, putting the finishing touches on the simmering pots, when my visitor was announced. Giving the OK for him to enter, I waited as he made his way to the dining room, and called out for him to take the door to the right. I made a note to have my AI, Pandi, freeze frame the look on JD’s face when he walked into the room.

My kitchen, like the rest of my house, was dark wood and rustic looking. The stove wouldn’t have looked out of place in a restaurant, nor would the refrigerator and the huge stone sink was always an eye opener. I gestured for him to have a seat on one of the stools lining the huge island, and asked him what he’d like to drink.

“I thought the rest of your house was impressive, but this?” He was still taking in details, and I smirked as he finally met my eyes. “Wow.” Giggling, I asked him what his drink preference was again, and he finally accepted a beer.

I waited until he took a long drink, and shook my head at how easily and comfortable he seemed to fit into my house. I had a glass of tea, since I was planning on keeping clear of any type of alcohol for the foreseeable future, I moved back to the stove and once again we fell into conversation.

I was taking out a dish from the oven, along with the bread I’d put in to warm, when he finally asked the most important question of all. “What are we having, Ani?”

Italian, my preference on any given day, was what we were having. And we ate at the island, side by side, talking as he complimented me on every single part of our meal. I loved watching people appreciate the meals I cooked, Kelsey raved every time she came over for lunch or dinner, and her dad was no different. I had a flash of Roger not being all that interested in what I cooked, his focus more on eating things that would keep him fit and trim, clearly to catch all those willing coeds.

“You just flinched,” he offered, as he swallowed another bite. “What were you thinking about?”

I huffed out a breath that was a cross between a laugh and a snort. “Roger, the ex.” He was studying me. “I just realized, he never seemed to like what I cooked.”

“Fucking idiot.” JD muttered, and I smiled. “That man must have been blind and stupid.” He was still staring, I could feel the heat of his gaze even as my attention returned to my own plate. “What kind of moron screws around on-”

I stopped him. Too dangerous territory. Too close to crossing that invisible line that I wanted him to fucking know existed. “Yeah, well, hindsight.” Taking a sip from my glass, I changed the subject to work.

He helped me clean up, putting leftovers in bowls, one of which I insisted he take with him and loading the dishwasher. We were seated in my living room, a fire flickering in the fireplace because that’s the entire point of having a fireplace, JD nursing a second beer and me still drinking tea.

“Tell me about your family,” he asked, his chair facing the sofa I was lounging on.

I sat up and set my glass on the coffee table. “My family?” Leaning back again, I thought about it. “My mom died when I was really little,” I was five, she had passed away after a long illness, one that even my dad couldn’t fix. “Dad’s a doctor, infectious diseases, and he didn’t really understand my artsy nature.” I smirked, thinking about how aghast he’d been when I came up with a B- for my science classes, and that C for math would forever haunt him. “He liked the outdoors, and since I’m his only kid, I learned to like them too.” I loved the outdoors, the forests, the rivers. Lakes and mountains were my playground growing up. “He really didn’t understand my choice in men.” Like Dr. Aaron Myles, his coworker who was very slightly younger than him, who he caught bending me over a lab table when I was nineteen. “Other than my parents, the extended family isn’t really close. Reunions, holiday cards, you know, the normal.”

“Other than the idiot box you dated recently,” I chuckled at the description. “What wasn’t understandable about your choices?”

Damn inquisitive minds, I thought, but shrugged. What the hell, let’s warn him ahead of time. “Older men, usually his colleagues.” I heard, rather than saw, JD’s inhale. “I was an adult, I swear,” most of the time, I flashed on that one fling and felt a blush rise. “It’s just that-” I was very very irritable at the idea that I had daddy issues, so I had this conversation a LOT over the years. “Men who have more experience, tend to treat women better, you know?”

My eyes met his and I realized that JD was older than me. Maybe not as old as my dad, maybe not as old as my oldest lover, but he was. And his eye color, that molten caramel that had drawn my interest when I’d finally been able to focus my eyes, had gone so dark that pinpointing his pupils would have been a challenge. I bit my lip and his eyes focused on the movement. Shit. Not good.

“How about your family?” I tossed out before we both did something that I would fucking regret when it went to shit.

JD smirked, clearly understanding my attempts at diverting the conversation into safer territories, but I had to think he didn’t really know why. He reminded me that I knew Kelsey and had met his ex wife, but I shook my head. “So you were hatched from an egg and didn’t know your parents?”

He laughed, full bodied at my silly joke. Then he told me about his upbringing. His stint in the military. His path to his current profession. He gave out his life’s story as easily as I did, which wasn’t as common as people might think.

“And you just got out of a-” I stopped, shocked at my line of questioning. Shit. Nope, Ani, not that.

“Molly,” he offered, his eyes still on mine. “Molly Woods.” I nodded. “That was a very weird situation.”

I waited, unsure if I wanted to hear about the woman he kept company with before. I knew his ex wife, the mother of his daughter, but this was fresh. “You don’t have to-”

“It’s ok,” he smiled at me and I had to return it. “I’m a grown up, I can handle talking about it.”

I nodded and he told me about meeting her at a crime scene. How he thought she was insane, given where she’d been staying it made sense, but then he found out the victim had been pregnant, just like she’d warned. He told me how it went from her roofieing him to him being called a terrorist for helping her. How that snowballed into intimacy and how, eventually, he realized that she needed her people more than the two of them needed one another.

“Do you still talk?” My fucking curiosity was going to make me want to jump off a cliff soon.

“Not much,” he answered, leaning forward to sit his beer down on the coffee table. “What we had wasn’t supposed to last, Ani, but we became friends.”

I smiled and let my eyes focus on the view behind him, outside the panel of glass. The green of the forest creeping closer, the darkness not obscuring the leaves that seemed close enough to touch.

“Ani,” my eyes found his again, and I swallowed at the look in his eyes. “Come here.”

Oh no, not happening. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” My tongue felt like it weighed a thousand pounds.

He bit his lip as he studied me and I felt the burn from that simple gesture all the way down my body. “Why isn’t it?” Shit.

“Rebounds are never a good idea, JD.” Still sounded as dry mouthed as when I woke up in his bed. The thought of a bed and JD increased the burn.

“Then don’t call it a rebound, Ani.” Fucker, I thought, trying for logic and wordplay. “Come here.” He crooked his finger this time and I could swear he had a fucking string attached to it and my body, the yearning was so strong to give in.

“No,” I wanted it to come out strong and clear, but instead it sounded scared and uncertain. “You come here,” wait, what? Fuck, Ani, not helping.

And then he was over top of me, his weight pressing down on mine, and at the first touch of his lips on mine, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I had fucked up majorly. Because I had no fucking doubt whatsoever that when this ended, I’d be crushed. Fucking crushed, because with one kiss, I was addicted to JD Richter, and we weren’t even fucking naked.

We didn’t get naked. Not when Kelsey’s voice called out from the door that connected her apartment to the house.

“Ani?” She was growing closer, and JD had pulled back and was grinning as he stayed hovering over me. “I saw Dad’s truck outside and-” She was standing in the threshold of the living room when she stopped speaking and I felt the burn go from lust to embarrassment that his daughter and my best friend had caught him on top of me, with my hands locked around his neck and his slithering under my shirt. “Ah, hey, Dad.”

He was chuckling as he answered her greeting, and I felt like sinking into the sofa and dying. It was one thing for Kels to tell me that she was alright with the two of us, but catching us? That was too fucking much.

JD left a little later with his leftovers, and I had to shake my head as he ignored his daughter’s presence and kissed me with enough passion to make the wood of my house catch fire. Then he smirked down at me, promised to call, and was gone.

I turned to face Kelsey and rolled my eyes at her trying to hold back her own laughter. “Really?” I asked, shaking my head and heading back to the kitchen. “Want me to heat up dinner?”

“Gonna use your face?” She offered, still laughing. “The red of that blush is throwing off enough heat that I have to believe the microwave won’t be needed.” If I keep rolling my eyes, they’re gonna stick that way. “Jesus, you’re a fucking adult, Ani, why are you so embarrassed?”

I shot her a look. “Because he’s your DAD, Kels.”

Shrugging, she took the plate I’d fixed for her from my hands and sat on the same stool her dad had earlier. “So? He’s not YOUR dad, Ani, that would be cause for fucking embarrassment.”

Jesus, the Richters were going to be the death of me.

[blueboxesandtrafficcones]

Second Chance at Forever - Chapter 9

Chapter 9 of this year’s entry for the @dwsecretsanta, my present to @wordsintimeandspace!  Beta’d by the always-kind @stupidsatsuma​.  Extra thanks, cause this chapter needed a major rewrite and she was super helpful!

@doctorroseprompts​ and @timepetalscollective​ as an AU fic

General warnings for: alcohol use, cursing, discussions of sexual activities

Masterlist

AO3

Summary

Once upon a time, a boy and girl met at a bar and fell in love - until he ghosted her.

Five years later Rose Tyler’s best friend Mickey is getting married, and arranges a dinner for her to meet the groomsman she’ll be walking with - unaware that the two already know each other.

John Noble’s not sure how his friend and mentee managed to connive with the Universe to bring the One Who Got Away back into his life; all he knows it carefully built and maintained walls are crashing to the ground with no warning.

John eased the car into the spot, and Rose waited impatiently as he got out and jogged around to her side.

“Milady,” he teased, opening the door for her and extending his hand.

“Why thank you, kind sir,” she laughed, letting him pull her up out of the seat.  She straightened her dress as he shut the door and locked the car, fluffing her hair and resettling her purse.

Turning, he offered her his elbow, and she obliged, threaded her arm through it as they started for the banquet hall.  While they had no plans for any sort of formal announcement, they’d decided to not worry about what anyone would assume about them showing up together to Mickey and Martha’s engagement party.

Well, almost anyone.

“So…” Rose drawled, as they walked through the doors, “we’re not confirming anything with my parents, right?”

“Definitely not.”  John looked just as relieved as he had when she had first suggested the idea.  “No offense.”

“None taken.  I don’t want them knowing either,” she grinned brightly up at him, his answering smile releasing butterflies in her stomach.  It took effort to tear her gaze away towards the waiting maître d’ when his throat cleared.  “Hi, um, engagement party?  Smith-Jones?”

“Down the hall on the right, can’t miss it,” the man assured her.  “There’s balloons and a sign, and it’s the only party tonight.”

“Thank you.”

They started down the way the maître d’ had pointed, arms dropping only so that their hands could meet, fingers naturally lacing together.  A few people stood scattered down the hallway, clumped together in twos or threes, but none Rose recognized.  Halfway down a whiteboard sign proclaimed Smith-Jones, balloons in white, gold, and several shades of blue swaying slightly with the unseen blowing of the air conditioner.

Stopping a few feet back from the door, John moved in front of her to meet her eye.  “Ready for this?”

She opened her mouth to respond, entirely unsure of what would actually come out, when a small voice shouted “Rosie!”

Not a second later a small torpedo crashed into the back of her legs, sending her flying forward straight into John’s chest.

“Hi, Tony,” she replied, as John pushed her back upright.  Under normal circumstances she could manage to stay standing when he crashed into her, but under normal circumstances she wasn’t wearing four-inch stilettos – and was usually braced for him.  “How’s it going?”  Turning carefully as he was still wrapped around her knees, she was grateful for John’s steadying hand on the small of her back as she faced her parents.  “Hi Mum, hi Dad.”

“Rose.  You look lovely.”  Pete leaned forward, kissing her cheek, though his eyes never left John.

Her mother, as usual, was far less subtle.  “Who’s he?”  Jackie Tyler’s narrowed gaze was deadly and infamous; she’d once brought a popular Prime Minister almost to tears at a party when he criticized Pete.  Rose wouldn’t say that was why he’d lost the next election, but she wouldn’t swear it wasn’t, either.  It was not a Look to be taken lightly.

John didn’t stand a chance, and yet he seemed entirely unmoved as he cheerily replied, “John Noble, friend of the bride.”

“We’re walking together in the wedding,” Rose added, fighting back a blush when both her parents raised an eyebrow.

“Is that so?”  Jackie’s tone belied her questioning gaze.  “And what do you do, John?”

“I’m a doctor by training, but I mostly teach.  It’s how I met Martha.”

Before her mother could interrogate him any further, Mickey appeared.  “Tylers!  Was wondering when you lot were going to show up.”

“Here we are,” Rose chirped, giving him an extra squeeze as they hugged in thanks for his good timing.  “Ready to celebrate you!”

“Thanks, babe.”  Mickey pressed his lips to her cheek, before crouching down to Tony’s level.  “Hey man, how’s it going?”

“Look, I’m wearing a suit!”

Her brother took center stage, preening at the fawning attention he was getting, and giving Rose and John time to back away slowly and slip through the doors into the room itself.

It was, in a word, gorgeous.  The color scheme was beachy tones, shades from robin’s egg blue to turquoise and all in between, with white and tan accents, all done in such a way as to be elegant and soothing, giving one the sense of the sea without any overt ocean-themed decorations.  A dozen round tables were arranged on one side of the room, leaving a wide-open space for a dance floor.

Mickey had confided that the reception would be a very casual affair, and the couple had decided that the engagement dinner would serve as the formal, served dinner instead.

“Name cards,” John pointed out, nudging Rose out of her reverie.

“Oh!”

They quickly located their table, front and center by the dance floor.  A DJ was tucked away in the corner, playing soft, jazzy music for now, though she was certain that wouldn’t last long.  The rest of the wedding party was already present, leaving them two unclaimed seats at the far end of the table from the dance floor, but Rose couldn’t have cared less.  Each seat had a glass of champagne, and she had to hold herself back from it.

“This is nice,” John commented idly, glancing around, and Rose nodded approvingly.

“Seems like a good idea- I’ve helped Mum plan enough dinners to know how complicated it can be.  Better to do it now before they get overwhelmed, then all they have to worry about is the wedding itself,” she agreed, distracted by the centerpiece.  Instead of flowers, it was a pillar candle in a holder made of crystals, causing the light from the flame to dance and refract – the overall effect was stunning.

“That’s exactly our plan.”  Martha settled into the seat next to Rose for a moment, smiling at both of them.  “Thanks for coming!”

“How could we miss it?” Rose laughed, giving the bride-to-be a hug.

Martha smiled back, brushing a stray hair out of her face.  “You say that, and yet this one-” she pointed to John, “-has a habit of promising his presence, then at the last minute texting ‘sorry I’m out of the country helping with fill-in-the-blank natural disaster, let’s catch up later!’.  Infuriating.”  Despite her words she was still beaming, happiness radiating off of her.

“I believe it.”  It briefly crossed Rose’s mind that maybe that was where he had disappeared to all those years ago, but she pushed the thought aside to focus on the present.  “Everything looks wonderful, Martha, really, yourself included.  That’s a beautiful dress.”

“Thank you.  Hey, speaking of which, I know this is short notice but are you doing anything tomorrow?  It’s just I got a last-minute appointment with a bridal boutique in town, and I’d really like it if you’d come with.”

Rose’s eyes widened, and she gaped at the bride for a moment.  ��I- I- I wouldn’t want to intrude-”

“No, no, not at all!”  Martha grabbed her hand, squeezing it.  “Quite the opposite – I could use some sanity.  If you don’t, it’s just me, Mum, Tish, and Shonara.  Please.”

“If you’re sure.”  Rose bit her lip, breaking into a smile when the other woman nodded enthusiastically.

“Absolutely!  I promise.  Please say you’ll come?”

John nudged her in the side, and she nodded back.  “Then yes, of course.  I’d be honored.”

“Perfect!”  Someone called her name from across the room, Martha climbed to her feet with a groan.  “I should’ve worn flats.  Anyway, I’ll text you the details okay?”

“Great.”  Rose watched her go, and when she finally turned back to John he had a soft look in his eye as he stared at her.  “What?”

“You’re beautiful,” he murmured, eyes flickering over her face.

Rose blushed, unprepared for the sheer adoration in his gaze.  “Thank you.  You clean up very nice, by the way.”

“You should see me in a tux.”

Glancing around to make sure her parents weren’t within hearing distance, she leaned closer and dropped her voice low.  “I can’t wait.  Can’t wait to see you out of it, either.”

A pleased grin spread across his face, and he leaned forward as well, so close their noses almost brushed.  “As nice as that dress is, I think it would look better on my bedroom floor.”

“We’ll have to find out.”  Rose waited a beat, just long enough to get his hopes up, before adding, “After the wedding.”

“Fair enough.”  The spark in eye slightly dimmed, but he didn’t lose his smile.  “I think by then we’ll need to clear our schedules for a weekend, I’ve got so many plans.”

“Oh, a week minimum,” she teased, deliberately licking her lips and drawing his eye.  “And that’s just my top priority list of things I want to do to you.  And with you.  And have you do to me.”

John hummed in agreement.  “We should go away somewhere, and leave our mobiles behind.”

“All right.”  Rose didn’t know if he was serious or not, but she most certainly was.  Her blood burned for this man, and she’d spent many a night lying awake, lonely and frustrated, cursing her heart’s need to wait, to be sure.  When they finally gave in, it would be explosive – of that she was certain.

“Erm, excuse me?”  Feedback screeched, and everyone turned to the microphone stand situated next to the DJ table.  Jake was turning the stem of a champagne glass through his fingers, looking decidedly nervous, and Rose knew he hated public speaking more than anything.  “Hi.  For those of you who don’t know, I’m Jake, I’m the best man and Mickey’s best mate.  We’ve known each other since we were three, and I’m so happy he’s found such a wonderful partner as Martha to spend his life with.  Everyone knows when a man gets married he never sees his friends again, so thank you, Martha, for getting him out of our hair.  You were our last hope.”

The crowd laughed, and Jake’s shoulders visibly unhunched.

“Anyway, tonight’s not the night for speeches, I was just asked- well, let’s be honest, told- to get up here and thank you all for coming to celebrate this wonderful couple.  To Martha and Mickey!”

“To Martha and Mickey!”  Everyone raised their champagne glass, toasting the couple, before conversations and happy chatter once again broke out.

“To Martha and Mickey,” Rose repeated, smiling, clinking her glass against John’s.

“Without them, we wouldn’t be here,” he agreed, looking rather serious.  “And that- that is… something I can’t even imagine, at this point.”

She blushed, ducking her head before looking up at him through her eyelashes.  “Me either.”

“So tell me what you want, what you really really want,” Rose and Martha screamed along to the song together, holding hands and jumping to the music.  Rose felt thirteen again.  She couldn’t even begin to count the number of times she and her friends had blared this record, dancing and singing along until they knew it by heart.

They were well into the party portion of the evening, the lights dimmed to contribute to the atmosphere.  Most of the older adults had long since left, leaving just friends and cousins to celebrate together.  The DJ played song after song intended to have them up and dancing, and the women did not disappoint.  Time had taken on a dreamlike quality to it, the outside world fading to vague memories as they danced and sang along.  But for the occasional trip back to the table for another drink, it felt like Rose had been on the dance floor for hours.

Martha shrieked, then, and Rose turned to see Mickey spinning his fiancée away into his arms.  Having lost her dance partner and desperately in need of a break, Rose wriggled her way out of the press of bodies to pad over to where John sat alone at their table.

“Hey,” she said, grimacing at rasp in her voice.  “You sure you’re okay just sitting here?”

Looking up from his slice of cake, John pulled her chair out and pressed a glass of wine into her hand.  “I’m fine – working my way through the cake.  You having a good time?”

“Brilliant,” Rose enthused, draining the glass.  “But I can always Uber home if you don’t want to stay.”

“Here,” he said instead, offering her a forkful of cake.  “Have a bite.”

Her lips closed around the fork, and she couldn’t help the moan that escaped as he slowly pulled the fork free.  It was chocolate cake with a chocolate hazelnut frosting, and absolutely divine.  Once she’d swallowed and met his eye again, she found his pupils blown wide, a hungry look on his face.

“Good?” he husked out, and she nodded slowly.  “Another?”

Rose let him feed her several more bites, and on the third, she took the stem of the fork from him and pulled the utensil free from tight lips on her own, slowly, while holding his gaze.

John swallowed harshly, eyes flickering between her mouth, eyes, and cleavage, and she threw caution to the wind.

“John?”

“Yes, darling?”  His hand settled on her knee, the palm cool compared to how hot and sweaty she was from dancing, before sliding up to just under the hem of her skirt.  His thumb brushed against the sensitive skin of the inside of her thigh, and she’d never wanted a man more.

“Take me home.”

[that-fandom-sucks-tho]

Circuits of the Heart

Title: Chapter 7: That Day

Warnings: Death and descriptions of injuries. I think maybe swearing. Angst.

A/N: So chapter 7 man this is crazy. The support and love warms my heart. Also I'm prepared for that to all end because I won't be posting chapter 8 until at least Monday. Um please don't hate me forever I've gotta focus on the end of the quarter and my grades. Sorry!

Chapter 1  Chapter 2  Chapter 3  Chapter 4  Chapter 5  Chapter 6 Chapter 8

The blow had hit me deep and cut into places I did not know I had. The tears that tinged my eyesight during my tyraid started to make streaks down my face. Never before had I felt such a deep betrayal. I looked at Nightwing with as much hatred as I could muster. Hatred was also new. I never thought I would have to express it towards someone I cared about.

“That may not have been ideal but it was my home; the only place I have ever known. The lab technicians may not have been my family but they were the closest thing to it I had. I had to watch them be murdered in front of my face; I had to watch as everything went up in flames. And you knew.” I whispered the last part. The words escaped me and it was like my fight had been attached to them. I felt empty, hollow even.

The room suddenly felt too crowded. Everyone was too close, pressing me in on all sides. I looked around at everyone’s faces. I saw the pity, guilt and sadness in their eyes. They felt bad but I did not want that. I wanted justice.

One last look at Nightwing, and I rushed from the tarmac back to my room.

“Circuit, wait!” Nightwing yelled after me but nothing could make me face him right now.

“Just let her go she learned a lot of devastating information.” Zatanna put her hand on his shoulder and gave him a pitying look.

I hurled myself onto my bed as my monitor replayed the memories from the day the lab was destroyed.

It had been a normal day; a day like any other. I was sitting in my room waiting for one of the lab technicians to grab me from my allotted breakfast time. A click sound alerted me to someone entering my room. It was my favorite lab tech. Her name was Emily and she must have been in her mid thirties but her brown hair had started to grey at the roots. She had always been the nicest to me. Often sneaking me sweets or other treats when I had a tough day of experiments.

“Well hello honey how is it going? If you do real good today I’ve got some chocolate just for you. How does that sound?” Her smile was warm and inviting. Her eyes crinkled at the corners.

“A sweet would be delectable. I will try to complete my tasks with the utmost efficiency”  I responded. I made no smile back nor did I offer any affectionate names back. I was taught a long time ago that these people were not my friends. No touching and no excessive interactions. Emily had made the mistake of patting my hand after a particularly rigorous bout of tests and she was suspended from her job for three days. I did not want her to lose her job so distance was necessary.

“Great. Thirty minutes for eating as usual and then the testing starts. You’ll be starting with a diagnostic test on the circuitry newly attached to your fingertips.” With a nod of her head she turned and walked expecting me to follow her. I scrambled up and rushed after her. At a respectable two foot distance behind, of course.

The lack of affection was not to say I was treated with animosity. These people had known me since I was a small four year old child. Years of proximity had created a familiarity. Everyone smiled and greeted me when they saw me. I nodded back at them a small smile gracing my lips.

Breakfast was the same that day as it had been since I could fully eat solids. Wheat toast for grains, peanut butter for healthy fats, a clementine for vitamins, milk for vitamin D and whole grain cereal for carbohydrates. A complete meal that contained the nutrition I needed. I ate alone in silence with Emily reading through the day’s agenda behind me.

We entered the room where they were to test my new circuits. They were the last they would add to me.

“Hello 2B-04, are you ready?” The head scientist asked me. He had used my experiment label like always. Only Emily called me by anything else.

“Yes sir I am ready for this new bout of testing. What is it that you will be testing on?” My reply formal and to the point; as I had been taught.

“We will be testing to see if the circuits in your fingers are hooked up to your brain and if they respond correctly to stimuli.” He motioned for me to enter my tube.

They had designed it specially for me. It was a hardened steel tube with a reinforced glass door. The metal inlay throughout the tube acted as electrodes that my brain and other computer parts could interact with. I leaned back to get comfortable and closed my eyes.

“Alright I’m locking you in and starting up the machine.”

The machine came alive beneath me. It reached out and I felt its familiar touch relaxe me. I could feel the questions it asked me and I answered the best of my abilities. My fingertips started to tingle and emit a golden glow.

“Alright hon we’re almost d-” Emily started to say through the speakers but an explosion cut her off.

The wall behind everyone exploded into shards of concrete and glass. People were on the floor with limbs at weird angles and blood seeping from lacerations. A fire had started in the corner where all kinds of chemicals and equipment had been stored. It raged and grew as it found more fuel. The rubble had struck the control board and killed the power source.

I was stuck inside of my tube watching the scene unfold. I was frantically banging on the door trying to get out. Looking around to see if anyone was still awake-or alive- that could help me, I saw some rubble shift and then Emily’s head popped up.

I started banging harder.

“Help me Emily; help me!” I screamed but my voice was muffled and I was scared that she would not hear me. Suddenly her head whipped in my direction and when she saw me she started talking. I had no idea what she was saying.

I was panicking and my heart rate was rising so much that my monitor informed me I was going into a panic attack. I needed to get out of this tube.

Emily started to crawl in my direction but her movements were slow and sluggish. She had clearly lost a lot of blood and it was taking its toll.

“Emily you can achieve this! Let me out it is urgent!”

She reached me with lots of effort and heavy breathing. She was mumbling something but she was too quiet and I was too far away. I had very little room to move but I tried to bend down as far as possible. “I’m sorry, I’m  sorry, I’m so sorry. My sweet little circuit board. Sweet little Circuit. I’m sorry, so sorry.”

It was like she was in a trance whispering over and over again the same thing.

“No, do not say those words. It will be alright I just need to be released from these confines.” I was crying but I do not remember when I had started. The tears burned my skin as they left their trail.

Emily looked up at me again with tears and sadness of her own.  She lifted a bloody hand to the glass and I reached out to her as well. I tried to get her to come closer; to do anything. It was obvious that her strength was leaving her and I was afraid she did not have much time left.  Her eyes fluttered closed and she slumped back down. Her fingers slowly slid down the glass leaving a trail of bloody streaks.

“No, no Emily wake up. Wake up!” I was pleading now; begging for her to get up and be okay. She was the last person in the world who cared for me. The other scientists were nice and friendly, but she genuinely cared for me. She may not have been able to show me affection but she showed me she cared through her gentle words and the sweets she would give me. Now she was dead.

I scanned the room for signs of life and when it came back with nothing I lost it. Everyone I had know in my life was gone. They were murdered and I should have been with them. I was screaming now; sobbing hysterically. The golden glow of my powers were swirling as I was lost in my emotions. Machines popped and crackled and I collected the energy from the strewn wreckage. It came and it whispered to me; it whispered its sorrow and its guilt. It whispered how I needed to get out of here. It whispered the instructions to my salvation.

With a final push of my distraught mind I released all of the energy I had collected and I destroyed the tube. I rushed over to Emily with a question I already knew the answer to. I shook her but she still did not respond. I scanned her body again and again waiting for a sign. On the last scan I noticed her enclosed fist. I reached over and opened it. It was a little chocolate; the one she had saved for me.

I took it and I stood. Looking around at the carnage before me, I was scared. My life had been ripped away from me and I had no idea how to live any other. My life had not been perfect but it was mine all the same. I needed to get out of here.

So I ran and I did not stop.

My memory of that day ended as I came out of my stupor. The emotions that I felt came back to me in a wave as fresh and raw as they had been that day. Sorrow was an emotion I had not needed to learn in the outside world. I learned that well enough in the lab.

I thought of Nightwing’s behavior before the mission. He had not wanted to let me go. I thought it was because he cared for me but it was because he knew the secret. What did they gain with keeping it from me? I am glad I went on that mission but them not telling me that I was the mob’s highest target put me in extra danger that was not needed. My life had been thrown to the wind in the hopes of information. If I had known I could have prepared for the worst or at least I could have prepared better. They made me relive the worst moments of my entire life.

Batman had been training me for a year and he had not told me. How long had he known? He of all people should understand justice to murdered family units. I could have honored their memory and avenged them; instead I have been sitting around laughing and living in comfort.

I needed a plan.

I started to do the long and arduous task of sifting through all of the files I had downloaded from the mob. They had been collecting information and keeping tabs on me since I was first awoken in the lab. The had all of the data produced by my lab test and experiments, even the footage. Seeing everyone alive and moving around shook me to my core. Emily was standing in the background smiling and probably offering me encouragement that she could not say through her eyes. I felt my throat get tight and goosebumps raced across my skin.

I needed to look through something else, anything else. I decided that the mob’s specific files would be my next task. They were a small time mob and it made no sense to have long range targeted missiles. It made no sense that they knew about me and my lab. Why did they want me?

The files offered little in amazing revelations, only more questions. It held the monotonous bank records and other financial information. There were files of people they put hits on or who ordered such a thing. They had a few untraceable donors and one of those donors had ordered the hit on my lab.

Who was this person and what were they hiding when they buried my lab in rubble? I needed to find the answers and sitting in my room in Mount Justice was not helping.

I packed a small bag with my baton, computer parts, and extra rations. Once this task was done I whipped my door open but instead of a thud it hit something soft.

“Ow. I guess I deserved that” Nightwing groaned. “Wait what are you doing?” He eyed my attire and bag.

“I am leaving.”

@lilylovelyxo @jadedhillon @gingerrosecosplay @toddhood

[echeronsink]

Mothbones Preview (for mobile)

Mothbones is a modern fantasy YA story set in an alternate universe where every creature of myth, folklore, and legend are very, very real and hiding right under the noses of the rest of the world’s population. It is told from two perspectives: One man who must live with his past misdeeds forever, and another who is still haunted by the arson killing of 13 people. Their paths cross with Maux; a girl with budding prophetic abilities and a target on her back. For Phesec, it’s one last job before he can try to break away from his reputation. For Pepper, it’s a chance to prove himself.

Playlist | Concept Board

If you aren’t on mobile, please read the chapters here.

CHAPTER ONE

"I don't think fortune cookies work if you steal them."

Pepper looked down at the bedraggled girl seated in front of him, sliding into the booth and setting down the crinkly plastic bag unceremoniously. The corner of his mouth curled into a lazy smile. "Maybe. Could be they just plain don't work."

Maux gave him a tired, argumentative look, scrunching up her nose and chewing her lip in a way he'd learned meant she was considering starting a debate.

A shape moved in his peripheral, drawing his attention as Maux diverted her gaze to the checkered floor.

"Do you need another minute to decide?" the waitress asked, tapping the end of her pen against her notepad expectantly. She didn't seem to be aware that her bun had gotten loose and drooped over onto its side like a deflated balloon.

"Ah, just a milkshake, please. Chocolate." He straightened up and smiled politely. Then, noticing her attention lingering on the bag of cookies, added, "Kid's got a big game coming up tomorrow. Gotta rack up the luck a little."

Satisfied with his explanation, she nodded and promised to have the drink ready shortly before walking away.

"You're such a liar," Maux stated once she was out of earshot.

"'s not such a bad skill to have," he replied, popping open the bag and dumping out the contents. Plucking one from the pile, he tore that open as well. "Besides, she's probably relieved. I'd bet she's seen a whole lot worse than a bulk bag of fortune cookies, working in a twenty-four-hour Diner."

She scowled more, curling up against the back of the booth and tugging her thin sweater over her hands. "Why are we even here? You always just steal food."

"Because," he continued absently, cracking the cookie open and pulling out the little slip of paper. "It's been a long week, and you look like you need something good to eat. Or drink."

"I'm lactose intolerant."

"That didn't seem to stop you from eating an entire package of mini donuts the other day. Or anything else, really."

Appearing to be temporarily out of arguments, Maux only sat forward and grabbed a cookie from the pile. The waitress returned and placed the shake on the table before walking away again after he thanked her.

"What'd ya get?" he inquired as she cracked the shell and tugged the slip of paper free.

"Let me read." She looked over the printed letters at least four times before tentatively replying. "'Take the chance while you still have the choice.'"

"Foreboding," he deadpanned, cracking open another cookie and popping half into his mouth with a loud crunch. "And maybe a little late."

She furrowed her brow and smoothed the slip out over the table, pulling the shake closer and taking a sip as she played with the condensation.

"You should at least read them," she said after watching him add a fourth slip of paper to the pile of wrappers without so much as a glance.

Again, he cracked a wry smile. "There's nothing to 'em, kiddo. It's all just a bunch of superstitious fun."

"Monsters are supposed to be a bunch of superstitious fun, too. So is magic," she countered, slouching over the glass.

A frown tugged at his lips, his attention halting for a moment as he glanced over his shoulder before looking at her fully. "No, kid. Monsters and magic...those are myths."

"They're real. You saw them. I saw you use magic."

He sat back in his seat, abandoning his dinner. "You did."

Maux grit her teeth, rising to sit on one leg. "Then why are you calling them myths?"

"Myths," he exhaled, rubbing the back of his neck tiredly, "are real. You've seen as much. Gods, monsters, the whole lot of it." Selecting a slip of paper from the pile of trash, he held it up. "Superstitions are different, they're wives' tales for people like me, like saying going out in the rain without a coat will give you a cold. There's exceptions, sure, for some things involving the Fair Folk and a few others, but they're different."

A faint ribbon of smoke rose from the paper, turned greenish-orange by the Diner's lighting. A moment later the paper curled in on itself and turned to ash as a thin line of orange flame ate away at the edges.

"Stuff like this, though...It's all just people. Normal, unsuspecting people having a little fun with the idea of luck or fortune or whatever they want to call it."

She pursed her lips, holding the glass with both hands and tapping her short nails against it as she stared at the straw blankly.

"There's nothing to worry about," he added softly.

"There's all kinds of things to worry about," she replied, barely above a whisper. "There's monsters and crazy people and magic all over the place and now they're after me. Jesus Christ, I haven't been home in a week. I can't even call my parents and I might never see them again."

He slumped back, shaking his head. "Well...the magic and monsters aren’t really anything new. I can handle any of that fine."

Silence hung over the booth tensely for a moment before anything happened.

A small hiccup escaped her, followed by another. She brought a hand up over her face to hide the miserable smile spreading across her face. "Oh, great. My knight in shining armor."

He let out an exasperated sigh. "Glad I can put your mind at ease."

She nodded, unsuccessfully trying to hold back more hiccups as she stirred the milkshake. After dropping her fortune into the pile of wrappers, she looked back up at him with a tired, wavering smile. "You really need to work on your comforting skills."

He rolled his eyes. "We’ll focus on getting you swearing properly first."

CHAPTER TWO

Blue and red weren't quite opposites. Sure, they looked different enough, but the space between them had become perilously narrow in the blink of an eye. Now that he stared at the divide with sobered eyes, he recognized the preface in the color blue.

No matter how hard he tried, blue would lead to red so long as he stood within it.

"You get quieter and quieter with old age." The familiar voice brought Phesec’s mouth into a tight line.

"Oraxes. Always a pleasure to see you." He turned to face the woman standing in the neon blue light with him.

"Have you grown philosophical already?” she inquired, her lips tugging up into a cruel smirk. “What mysteries does someone who's seen the flip side of the coin ponder?"

A heavy sigh escaped him. “If you’re so determined to annoy me, could you at least try to be original about it?”

The golden lattice of leaves above her left ear glinted with the tilt of her shaved head. “Right. How inconsiderate of me. You’re probably tired of hearing the same jokes after so many decades. So, which ones do you hate the most: The undead jokes, or the criminal ones we all have to hear?”

“Do you want something from me, or does Pegasus just pay you to sit around?”

“Please. You’re the last person I’d need anything from,” she scoffed, waving a hand.

“I’d almost think you’ve been missing me.” He pushed a loose strand of long hair out of his face, tugging at the sleeves of his jacket and shivering. He glanced up to the glaring exit sign. “What’s got him worried? He hasn’t moved shop in a long time.”

“Pegasus seems to be more interested in security lately. Not that you’d know, always running off to hole up somewhere while the rest of us work.”

“He doesn’t seem interested in keeping me close. I come to get the job, I do it, I get paid and then I go home…Still. I wouldn’t expect him to move shop to somewhere so…” He looked around the room, observing the grimy cement walls plastered in outdated flyers and the decomposing litter jammed into every crack and corner. The scent of cigarettes and booze hung heavily in the air, along with a few other less recognizable things. “Disgusting.”

She shrugged. “Don’t know. He’s probably just tired of the same old places. Or maybe he needed it for an expansion.”

“Of course.” He nodded, leaning against the steel door frame. “Lapdogs don’t usually ask a lot of questions.”

Her eyes narrowed as she took a step closer, parting her lips to speak through grit teeth. “I’m not-”

“Castillo,” a deep, smooth voice slipped from beyond the doorway. “Please, come in.”

Glancing from the red corridor back to Oraxes, who had seemingly been frozen in place by the voice, he flashed the slightest hint of a smile before turning and stepping over the threshold, trading out the neon blue light of the exit sign for a vivid shade of red.

His stomach rose further as he neared the end of the hall, and then again as he realized the lack of a door. By the time he stepped into the polished office his heart was already beginning to beat against his ribs with renewed life.

“Castillo,” the voice repeated, this time more tied down to the man sitting behind the ornate wooden desk in the center of the room. “It’s good to see that time still hasn’t caught up to you.”

“Please, don’t bother with the formalities,” he replied, crossing the space and taking a seat in one of the plush velvet chairs in front of him. He immediately scooted forward to sit on the edge, perhaps out of worry that the furniture might swallow him if he got too comfortable. “We’re still on a first name basis, aren’t we?”

Pegasus smiled, the wrinkly lines around his current form’s eyes deepening. His lips moved again, though his voice seemed to come from the air around him rather than his mouth, as usual. “Of course. Though I must say, your absences have been worrying me lately.”

“I’m sure you don’t have anything to be concerned about. You have plenty of reliable people working for you,” he reasoned cautiously, glancing at the backs of the dusty metal picture frames on the far ends of the desk.

“Plenty of people, yes, but not very many reliable ones. Youth doesn’t often breed maturity or trustworthiness.” He leaned forward in his seat, resting his elbows on the dark surface and clasping his hands together as he peered over the wire rim of his glasses. “It would be wise to hold onto the old friends I have left.”

He held his breath, waiting out the silence for a few seconds before forcing a smile. “Well, if I’ve started acting my age, I think we’re going to run into some problems. I may start reminiscing whenever the wind blows.”

Pegasus laughed, sounding far less human with each note until he broke into a fit of coughing.

Phesec winced at the sickly rattling sound of the man’s breaths, a familiar bitterness phantoming its way onto his tongue.

He pulled a tissue from his pocket as the fit ended, wiping his mouth and grumbling irritably. “I’ll never understand how bad organs manage to find their way out of a photograph.”

“An interesting question,” he agreed weakly, watching the tissue fall into the trash before looking back up to Pegasus’s face.

After adjusting the collar of his suit, he leaned against the desk once again. “All of that aside, I trust you know why I asked you here?”

“A job,” he said quickly, relieved to be asked a question with a simple answer. One that he knew.

“Yes.” He nodded, glancing up at the doorway. “Unfortunately I must ask a favor of you.”

Polite smile fading, he waited in silence.

“You have voiced your wishes to abstain from these kinds of jobs before, however…-”

“Sir,” he interrupted sharply, earning a raised hand in a bid for silence.

“However,” he repeated. “It is important that I can rely on you for this. There is no one else that I feel could be trusted with such an important task.”

“We’ve been over this, please. No kids.”

“I won’t ask the impossible of you, Phesec, and I do not take this lightly. You are a valuable friend to me.” He paused, layering an icy edge over his words. “If you would hear me out, I believe that you would not be as opposed to the idea of making an exception for me, just this once.”

He turned his gaze to the carpet, nodding tensely after a moment.

“I would not ask you to bring harm to a child. Instead, I’d like you to find one for me and bring her into our care.”

“Kidnapping.”

A harsh frown carved itself into Pegasus’s dark skin, deep channels springing up on his forehead. “She is already far from home. This is for her own protection, I assure you.”

“She should be taken back, then.”

He shook his head grimly, rising from his chair. “Nothing would be able to protect her from the dangers she faces now, even if she were to feign ignorance about mythos.”

He stared as Pegasus strode across the room, twisting a knob on the wall. The frilled lights tucked up against the high ceiling dimmed.

“There are places for young mythos, sir. Places founded to raise and prepare them for their own survival and independence.”

He turned to face him, one hand on the deep bronze railing of the spiral staircase behind him. “It doesn’t take much attention to notice your drifting, Phesec. You are absent more often than not, and people are beginning to talk. You are an old and trusted friend. One that I would not like to see turned to ash on the part of your own defiance.”

His throat felt constricted as he swallowed, letting his gaze drop to his feet. “I can’t take the job, Pegasus.”

He was met with stony silence, followed by the sharp tap of rings on metal that made him flinch.

“Very well. Leave me.”

His legs shook as he stood, stepping back towards the doorway. An apology clung stubbornly to his tongue, refusing to be spoken. He managed a stiff nod before turning into the red corridor.

The slight vacuum of air tugged at his clothing as the doorway vanished behind him. He didn’t even spare Oraxes a glance as he stepped out into the blue again.

“What the hell happened to you? You look like you just ran into a Bureau officer.”

He failed to respond, looking to the sign again. Somehow, it looked a little more teal.

[fandomimaginesftw]

An Old Flame (Part One)

Summary: Y/N is a hunter. She always has been, and she knows that she always will be. Headstrong, fierce, and takes no bullshit is the best way to describe her. A case in Ohio leads her to a nest of vampires, but that’s not all. As she’s investigating, she runs into a pain from her past, the one and only Dean Winchester. The man that ruined her, left her to trust no one ever again. When Dean sees her again, he feels like he’s alive again, and he’ll do anything to get her back. Will she fall back into old habits or will she stand her ground?

Pairing: SLOW BURN! Dean x Reader

Word Count: 1,339

Warnings: Angst, Eventual Smut, Violence, Swearing

Part Two ||  Part Three ||  Part Four ||  Part Five ||  Part Six || Part Seven

Forever Tags: @reigns420 @onemorefanblog

SPN Tags: @tacklesackles 

@impala-dreamer it is a slow burn, and it takes this chapter and the next to really pick up, but I think it’s gonna be worth the read for you, andI really hope you enjoy it. (I’m so not nervous to tag you or anything ^^’)

The sound of your car tires spinning endlessly over the street and the faint music that played through your stereo were the only things you could focus on. You had been on the road for a week, and your brain was just about fried. You were on your way to Ohio for a case, and you were a few miles from the state line. Your eyes were heavy and the music started to fade in and out, but you knew there would be a motel a few miles down the road. There always was. Just as you were about to give up and sleep in your car, you saw a bright sign that had the magical words lit up in red, “$40 a night”. You quickly pulled in to the parking lot, breathing a sigh of relief.

You had never fallen asleep so quickly in your life. It was like as soon as your head had hit the pillow, you were out. Didn’t even turn out the light, but that wasn’t really your problem. Your sleep had been dreamless, but you figured you weren’t missing much. You didn’t dream much, and when you did, it was about him. You opened your eyes, shaking him out of your mind. He was the last thing you needed to think about. You grabbed your phone, looking at the time. You did some quick math and figured that you got about five hours of sleep, which was pretty good for a hunter. You sighed, rubbing your face before shooting up out of the back pain inducing mattress, heading to the bathroom for a quick shower. You hoped the water pressure was better than the last place you were in, seeing as how last time it felt like you were pouring a water bottle over your head.

You got out of the shower, dressing in your FBI persona, figuring you’d use Rosemary Klance today, since she hadn’t gotten much love as of late. As you grabbed your things up, you couldn’t help but unlock your phone to look in your photo album. You scrolled through some random pictures you had taken on the road until you got to the pictures you had sworn to yourself you would delete. But he had been on your mind already, so you figured you would indulge yourself a little in the memories you had. You smiled softly, remembering the good times with him and his brother, the three of you on the road. You were all so close, Sam being like a little brother to you. Dean, though...Dean was different. Dean was the one that stole your heart. Before you started getting any kinds of emotion about it, you locked your phone again. You headed out to your car, starting it up and heading towards the small town that you had suspected was being terrorized by a gnarly nest of vampires.

Luckily you got pretty close to the town the night before, so it didn’t take you very long to get to the welcome sign. You parked in the nearest spot at the police station, getting your fake badge ready. You got out, adjusting your hair before going inside. The smell of stale donuts and nervous teenagers filled your nose as you quickly went to the front desk. A younger cop looked up at you, raising a brow. You pulled out your badge, showing it him. He looked over it, then siged.

“You FBI agents are really all over these cases, huh?” You furrowed your brows slightly, looking at him curiously. He pulled out a file, handing it to you. “Sorry, I just figured your partners would have shared this information with you. They were in here earlier. Any reason your boss keeps sending more of you out here?” You opened the file, looking over the autopsy reports. You had to contain your confusion about the partner thing so you didn’t seem suspicious. You memorized all of the information, confirming in your head that it was vampires. You handed the file back to him, offering him a sweet smile.

“I guess the boss thinks we need more people. Thank you, Officer,” you glanced at his name tag, “McCoy.” He blushed, nodding and putting the file back. He offered some information about a call that they just got, another victim found. He gave you the address, and you thanked him again. You sighed, getting back into your car to go to the sight. You figured the partners he was talking about were some other hunters who heard about the case. You shook your head, hoping that they hadn’t heard about the vic. You liked to work alone now, since the last time you were in a group ended in flames.

When you got to the scene, you saw that it was a typical crime scene. Yellow tape covering the area, a bunch of state cops roaming the area, and the medical team. You walked up to the tape, a cop stopping you. You just flashed your badge, and he nodded, letting you through. He informed you that your partners were waiting for you, and you internally groaned. That meant other hunters were here, and you really didn’t want to deal with them. You went inside anyway, the cold wind starting to nip at your face.

The inside of the house wasn’t as warm as you wished it would be, but you put that aside. You asked one of the policemen where the body was, and he informed you it was upstairs. You glanced around, wondering if your “partners” were here. When you didn’t see any suits, you started heading up the stairs. You started going over some conversation starters in your head, figuring “hey, this is my case, get the hell out” would be a good one to use. You nodded, getting to the door that led to the victim. You saw the coroner doing his thing, so you supposed you would just get a sneak peak before they wrap it up.

When your eyes looked around the room, you immediately wished you could have taken it back. You froze, your heart feeling like it was a thousand pounds in your chest. Your gaze seemed to lock on a certain individual in the room, and you couldn’t look away. It was him, Dean Winchester, the man that had ruined you long ago. He still looked the same, other than the tiredness that glazed his emerald eyes. His lips were still plush and pink, his lashes were still long enough to make any woman jealous. The focused look on his face had his brow furrowed as he talked to his giant brother, Sam. Your mouth went dry, and you knew you needed to get out before either of them saw you. But your feet betrayed you as they stayed locked onjto the wooden paneled floor.

Sam was the first to notice you. His very thoughtful expression fell as soon as he locked eyes with you. You panicked, your eyes pleading with him not to tell Dean. But Dean was too quick to notice the change in his eyes, and his head turned to look at whatever tore Sam away completely from their conversation. He stopped talking as you locked eyes. It was then that you felt your feet move, and before you knew it, you were rushing down the stairs. There was no way you could stay. All of those feelings you had done such a great job at suppressing came rushing back, and you felt your fight or flight reaction begin. 

You ran to your car, leaning against the door to catch your breath. You didn’t know if you were just out of shape or having a panic attack. You soon heard footsteps behind you, and you debated whether or not to just get into your car and drive off. You sighed, noticing Sam’s reflection in the window of your car. You decided to turn, looking up at him through blurry eyes. 

“Y/N, where have you been?”

[unashamed-shipper]

Living With You

read on ff.net and ao3

one / two / three / four / five / six / seven / eight / nine / ten / eleven / twelve / thirteen / fourteen / fifteen / sixteen / seventeen / eighteen / nineteen

rating: t+ for sexual joking, swear words, and violence

pairings in this chapter: nalu, with mentions of gajevy and gruvia

characters in this chapter: natsu, lucy, gray, gajeel. 

Lucy sighed, smoothing her outfit in front of her mirror one more time. She didn’t know where they were going, but she dressed up in a cranberry off the shoulder dress topped with a silver necklace and black heels. She hoped that she wouldn’t be taller than Natsu, but knew that even if she was it wouldn’t be a blow to his ego. He was a confident guy that wouldn’t be shaken by something as small as his girl being taller than him.

His girl, Lucy thought with a smile. That was finally her. After months of pining and flirtation, they were finally going on their first date today.

Anxiety ripped through her as she applied her makeup and she felt the cold press into the back of her skull. What if he didn’t like her? What if he decided not to go on another date?

Lucy curled her hands into a fist at herself, realizing that this was ridiculous. Natsu would never leave her, no matter the trial or problem. He would always be by her side.

Exhaling, she unfurled her fists and turned the doorknob to exit her room with a shaking hand. Opening the door, she exited her room to find Gray and Gajeel sitting on the couch with cups of coffee between them.

Black coffee.

They only drank that when it was a serious problem, like the time that Lucy almost got a black eye at work. They were so mad then that Natsu stomped to her work with Gray and Gajeel in tow only to find that the man had already been arrested by police–and punched by Juvia, who was also detained for the night. Thankfully, Gray was able to convince the officers to let her go and succeeded, leading Juvia to vow never to leave his side.

The two men turned to face Lucy, but when she saw the looks on their faces she was shocked. Their eyes were gentle, but firm; by the look in their eyes, it seemed that they were talking about something of importance.

“Hey, Lucy,” Gray said with a soft smile, patting the couch cushion next to him and motioning her over. Confused, Lucy let him continue before she finally complied, sitting down next to him with her hands folded in her lap.

“Salamander has it in his head that he has a date with you tonight,” Gajeel interjected after a few moments of silence, smirking like the thought of it was a joke.

“He does,” Lucy replied with a smile of her own. The men’s eyes grew slowly as they shared a look. Something was going on, she just knew it.

“Natsu is our friend,” Gray began slowly, crossing his arms over his chest, “but we won’t hesitate to smack him around if needed.”

Gajeel barked out a laugh in response, covering his mouth when Lucy glared at the both of them.

“Listen, guys. I know you’re worried about me and all, but I’ve got this. Natsu’s sweet, and kind, and he wouldn’t do anything to hurt me,” Lucy said with a sigh, running her hand through her hair. Was violence the only way to solve things for these guys?

“He’s a guy,” Gajeel replied with a chuckle.

“So?”

“So,” Gray said, putting a hand on Lucy’s shoulder, “men are dogs. Even ones like Natsu who are too stupid to have their brains in their di–”

The doorbell rang, signifying the end of their conversation. Someone was at the door and neither Gajeel or Gray moved to answer it. Lucy scowled, annoyed that the men couldn’t get themselves out of their comfy seats.

Levy wasn’t due to be here for another three hours for her date with Gajeel. And Juvia was working today. So was Cana. And none of the other girls knew her address. Lucy became confused, but answered the door anyway.

“Natsu?” Lucy asked when she opened it, her brows furrowing in confusion.

“Hey, Luce! Ready for our date?” Natsu lifted up a bouquet of pink roses.

“Why’d you bring pink?” Lucy asked with a smile, accepting her roses as if she were on the Bachelor. “Not that I dislike them at all! They’re beautiful.”

“Red means love, so I’m guessing he didn’t wanna jump the fence too soon,” Gray filled in for Natsu just as he began to open his mouth.

“O-Oh. I see,” Lucy said, her anxiety beginning to rise. Concerned at the emotion on her face, Natsu rushed to her side and sat her down on the couch and handing her the blanket that had been there since the beginning. Lucy grinned when she felt its softness and warmth, and thanked Natsu once her need for stimulation was fulfilled.

“Ready to go?” he asked a moment later, holding out a hand for her to grasp. Lucy smiled at him before telling him that she was ready and they began to walk to the door.

Gray and Gajeel let out threats to Natsu as they left and Natsu grinned when he practically slammed the door in the men’s faces.

“So where are we going?” Lucy asked, and Natsu tapped a finger to his chin. He had to pretend to contemplate what he already had planned.

“You wanna go get some scones from that cafe to hold us over until dinner?” Natsu looked into her eyes, knowing that it was the right answer when they lit up.

“Sounds perfect.”

“Ah, Lucy! And Natsu! So nice to see you both!” Kinana said with a wave from behind the espresso machine where she made a drink for a customer. Once she handed it to them, she rushed to the counter with a smile. “So what can I get you both?”

Lucy stared at the menu before ordering a hot green tea with lemon and a hint of raspberry syrup. Natsu ordered a chili mocha. He had been to the shop enough times before having to bring Lucy her lunch or whatever else she needed for the day, so he had his order perfected.

“I want two raspberry scones too.” Natsu held up two fingers. Kinana walked over to where the food was being held and popped two scones in bags, handing them to Natsu.

“It’s on the house,” Kinana said, waving her hand when Natsu held out his card. “I want to make sure you both have a lovely first date!”

“Thank you, Kinana! You’re so sweet,” Lucy said with a smile, biting into her soft raspberry treat. Hopefully it really would hold her over until dinner–she could only imagine how long the wait time would be wherever they went!

Natsu put a tip in the jar that was out on the counter and Laki’s eyes nearly bulged out of her head once she joined her co-worker and saw that he had tipped twenty dollars. He had always tipped 20% or over when the service was good and since he was going to have leftover money from dinner, why not treat he and Lucy’s friends to some food of their own.

“Thank you so much, Natsu! Please take another scone for the road,” Kinana urged, pressing another confection into his hand before he could say no. Lucy giggled at Natsu’s expression when the two women practically pushed them out of the coffee shop, shouting to go have fun on their date.

“I guess they really wanted us out of there,” Lucy joked as she sipped her drink, waiting for Natsu to start drinking his. He seemed really excited about the chili mocha and had even asked for ‘extra chili’.

When he just stared into his mocha, unblinking, Lucy knew something was wrong. “Uh, Natsu?”

“Luce, is this a good date?” Natsu asked, finally blinking. Lucy sighed in relief that he wasn’t having an anxiety attack on their date.

“Of course it is! No one’s ever taken me to my favorite coffee shop before going to dinner. It’s always been going to dinner first and then a movie,” Lucy replied with a smile, taking a small bite of her scone.

“I thought since you didn’t watch movies a lot this would be better,” Natsu revealed, and little by little Lucy was seeing what a thoughtful guy he was. She already knew this, of course, but she had never been shown this much consideration on a date. Most of the time the guy picked out something that the girl had little to no interest in and Lucy was left on the sidelines while the guy laughed at stupid jokes the entire movie and ate his favorite food.

But Natsu was not like that and she was forever thankful for him being much different than anyone else she’d ever dated. Especially Dan.

Shaking her head, she remembered that she had told herself to not think about Dan while she was on her date with Natsu. Lucy was on an outing with the most handsome guy she had ever laid eyes on and to top it all off he was kind and generous and wouldn’t try to get in her pants on the first date.

Well, she thought to herself, I wouldn’t mind if it was our fifth or sixth.

Lucy reddened, shoving those thoughts away from her mind. She needed to focus on Natsu, not perverted wonderings! Taking a bite of her scone to ease her problem, she chewed until she felt a force on the back of her throat, preventing her from eating any more.

“Luce?” Natsu asked, eyes widening in concern. Worries of the date not being enough quickly abandoned, he wrapped his arms around Lucy’s stomach and pushed. Lucy coughed a few times until the food unlodged from her throat and she threw it up onto the table.

“Thanks Natsu,” Lucy said, her voice still broken and her eyes watering.

“No problem, Luce,” Natsu said, his eyes intense. Lucy’s gaze locked on his and she became increasingly reminded of his warm hands wrapping around her waist. His lips looked tantalizing as she drew closer to him, licking her own and puckering slightly. Lucy’s eyes fluttered shut and she hoped that her makeup look was alluring enough to draw him in.

Natsu’s eyes widened, but he focused on only Lucy’s beautiful face coming ever nearer. Wrapping his fingertips around her jaw, he took the plunge and ran his tongue over his mouth and closed his eyes.

Then, when the moment was at it’s peak Natsu’s phone rang.

“Ignore it,” he whispered, wanting to have her lips on his instead of talking on the phone to whoever was calling.

“I think you should answer it, Natsu,” Lucy chided, her eyes still soft but her tone firm.

“But Luce! I wanna kiss y–” Natsu began, but the ringtone became increasingly louder until he picked it up and answered it with his voice flat.

“Oh. Yeah, we’ll be there in a few minutes. Thanks,” he said sheepishly, saying goodbye before ending the call.

“Who was that?” Lucy asked and Natsu hung his head low.

“That was the restaurant. Our reservations were for seven, not seven-thirty.”

“Well what are we waiting for then? Let’s go!”

Natsu perked up a little at the adventurous look in Lucy’s eyes. She seemed to think that this was a slight change in plans rather than a mess up on his part and he was more excited to go to dinner with her than he was before.

Grinning, he took her hand in his and walked her to his car, opening the door for her like a gentleman. Lucy slid in as she thanked him with a smile. Natsu went around the car, getting in and backing out of the parking lot like he was late to a very important date.

They were silent on the way to the restaurant, dodging each other’s eyes like their lives depended on it. They had almost kissed. And Natsu had admitted that he wanted to kiss Lucy. It was a big step in their relationship, almost one that was too big for them just being roommates before.

Lucy bit her lip, her anxiety starting to pulse at the back of her neck. What if Natsu didn’t want to kiss her again after she was firm with him? What if he didn’t want to go on another date with her after this one? Was there really something there that wasn’t there before?

“Luce? You alright?” Natsu asked, using his blinker to turn left. Lucy was glad that he was a safe driver, otherwise her anxiety would have been through the roof.

She let out a sigh, grasping onto her fidget cube in her purse and rubbing the smooth side that was to help with anxiety. “Yeah, I’m fine. Thank you for asking.”

Natsu looked at Lucy in concern. She was a lot of things–smart, kind, beautiful, brave, intelligent–but she certainly was not fine. Her face was scrunched up and she was using her fidget cube, which she almost never did unless it was a major anxiety problem. Natsu didn’t have much time to react before they got to the restaurant, but he did something that he wouldn’t have thought was okay before.

He placed his hand on her thigh, slowly moving his thumb on it to give her stimulation. Lucy gasped and dropped the fidget cube back into her purse, mesmerized by Natsu’s warm touch on her leg. His eyes locked on hers once he parked and they stared at each other once more.

“Let’s go inside,” Lucy proposed, her voice thick. It seemed that the almost kiss from before had left her wanting more.

“Y-Yeah,” Natsu replied, looking away. Her eyes were enchanting like a summer’s night and he knew that if he followed that gaze he would be pulled in to kissing her.

But he wanted to treat her like she was special. He didn’t want her to feel like some conquest or a prize to be won. He enjoyed her company more than any of the other girls he’d dated without a doubt and he wanted to make sure that she was treated like a princess. Natsu wanted to wine and dine her and give her only the best. Lucy was a precious jewel that needed to be respected and cherished, and he knew that. But she could also kick ass and had a bunch of people that surrounded her that would not hesitate to kick his if he messed up.

That was why he was so worried about tonight. He had researched quite a few restaurants to find one that was worthy of his princess and he found Emillio’s through a quick search through the internet. Gajeel had taken Levy there for their first date and it had went over well–at least that’s what Gajeel told him. He wasn’t sure how well, but their snogging at the front door of the apartment signified that it at least went better than expected.

Brushing his fears aside, Natsu opened the door and gave himself a pep talk in his head before going over to Lucy’s side and opening the door for her. She grinned at him before she jumped out of her seat, almost paralyzing him in the process. Her smile was one of those things that made him attracted to her just a bit more.

Little by little, he was beginning to understand what love truly meant.

“Hmm…give me that one!” Natsu said to the waiter, pointing at the wine menu.

“Certainly. And for the lady?” the man asked with a smile.

“I’ll just go with what my…friend is having,” Lucy responded, her face flushing slightly.

“Absolutely. I will be right out with your beverages,” the waiter replied before leaving the duo to their appetizers.

Lucy stabbed at her salad, bringing up a crouton with her fork and eating it right away with the flush that was there before still on her face.

Natsu blushed himself, smiling softly as he watched her eat. She seemed so happy that it wasn’t because she didn’t have to do dishes later that night either. Maybe it was he that put her in such a good mood.

“What’s that look for?” Lucy questioned, skewering another crouton and placing it into her mouth lightly. It was obvious that she was trying to make herself look a little more dainty for him, but Natsu knew the truth. He had seen her fart the alphabet with Gray more than once.

But that didn’t change his opinion of her. He thought that she was beautiful even if she wasn’t in charge of the kingdom of Genovia.

“Nothing,” he said with a smirk, beginning to eat his own salad. He wasn’t going to let this awesome meal go to waste!

“C’mon, it has to mean something! What’s going on?” Lucy bent forward, revealing a bit of her generous cleavage to Natsu. He turned his head away, hoping that he didn’t see too much. He had seen her naked, obviously, but he wanted the second time he did to be special.

If he did get a second time, that is.

“You’re cute,” Natsu said and Lucy’s face burned in the glow of the candles that were lit at their table.

“W-What? You think I’m cute?” Lucy asked, and Natsu nodded as he shoved another bite of salad into his mouth. Lucy’s face darkened and she fought not to fan her face when he bent back in his chair to stretch. His suit lifted up a little and she saw a sliver of his abs and choked back a gasp. His skin was a beautiful light olive tone because he had tanned during the summer, but she definitely didn’t know he worked out that much. She thought he was behind a computer most of the day, not working on his abs all day!

“See something you like?” Natsu teased, which brought Lucy back to reality.

“Hey! That’s my line!” Lucy giggled, thankful that the date was going way more smoothly than she thought it would. She had dreamed up in her head that it would be awkward going out with someone that she technically lived with, but she was glad that everything had worked out in their favor instead.

As their wine made its way to their table, the night became a little more serene. Lucy didn’t like getting crazy drunk with her friends anymore as it lead to anxiety and fainting, so she sipped on a glass of wine and then stopped there.

Natsu had two glasses, but greatly preferred the taste of beer to the fruity wine he ordered for he and Lucy. He did not voice this, however, because he wanted to make sure she was having a good time and complaining would only make the night have more tension than it already held.

After their meal and a dessert of blueberry cheesecake, Lucy held onto Natsu’s arm as he escorted her out. Natsu enjoyed the feel of her small hands wrapped around his bicep and he made a mental note to remember exactly what this felt like for future reference when his depression hit him.

He wanted to remember this night for the rest of his life. It was the best date he had ever been on and he hoped Lucy could say the same. As he drove them both home, Natsu looked over at Lucy with his signature grin and gazed into her eyes with a softness while they were at a stoplight.

Lucy stopped for a moment to remember what he looked like with happiness in his eyes. When his depression knocked him down, his eyes often seemed that they lost their light and all of their joy. She liked staring into his eyes when he was happy; it made her feel as if she had done something right.

Placing her hand on top of his that was on the gearshift, Natsu’s grin turned into a toothy smile that was infectious. Lucy’s lips twitched when she watched him accidentally hit on the gas a little too hard and then press on the brake once he saw there was a cop nearby.

Once he slowed to a stop at the apartment, Lucy took her hand off his leg to relieve some tension in the car. Natsu was staring at her like he was when they almost kissed and she was getting worried that he expected something from her.

“Luce?” he asked, his eyebrows raised as he gazed into her eyes.

“Yes?” she answered, falling silent when his face drew closer to hers. She puckered her lips and closed her eyes like before with the hope that this time Natsu’s would finally meet hers.

But at the last second he turned her face gently with his fingers and whispered into her ear. “Thanks for a great night.”

“O-Oh,” she replied, tucking a stray hair behind her ear. “Of course. Thank you, Natsu. I had a wonderful evening.”

As they entered the apartment, Lucy felt her stomach drop. She had a great evening. That was not to be debated.

But maybe…maybe she really did want a kiss after all.

Hours later, Lucy laid on her bed unable to sleep. The constant thoughts of those two almost kisses left her tossing and turning, and she hated that feeling. It had been a fantastic evening. It really had. But when push came to shove, Lucy really did want him to kiss her. Was that so wrong?

A knock at the door startled her out of her thoughts and she grumpily got out of bed to find Natsu standing at the door wearing his pajamas. He propped himself on his elbow on her door frame and wore a smile along with his boxers and white t-shirt that Lucy thought was too see-through for her own good. Clearing her throat, she stared into his eyes and began to scold him for being up this late.

“Natsu,” she chided, “it’s the middle of the night. Don’t you have to get ready for wo–”

Her words were interrupted by Natsu’s mouth on hers, rough and firm with no room for talk. She melted into his kiss, trying to keep it short and sweet, but becoming drawn in by how passionate it was. His fingertips were soft on her jaw and his other hand encircled her waist as he kissed her like it was the last one he’d ever have.

Lucy sure hoped it wasn’t the last one she’d ever have.

Natsu deepened the kiss as he grasped her bottom lip with his teeth and Lucy groaned. Exhaling through her nose, she craned her neck to entwine her hands in his hair. After a few seconds of pure snogging and holding onto each other like they were kiss-starved, Natsu broke the embrace and looked deep into her eyes.

“Have a good night, Luce,” he said, his voice a low but gentle growl.

And then, he was gone.

[anavoliselenu]

Manwhore chapter 9

My phone buzzes. I stare at the caller ID, my body once again getting into the action. SIN. Flushing just at the thought of him, I tuck the phone aside and watch my toes get a nice pink coat of paint.

“After the toes, full-on bikini wax,” Victoria announces from her seat next to mine.

I wonder whether she could speak a little louder so that not only the entire spa but the outside world as well could hear.

I lean forward and drop my voice. “No thanks.”

“Um. Hello? Not a question.”

I laugh. “Girl, I’ve got it perfectly maintained. Leave it!”

“All right.” She slaps down the magazine she’d been reading and sets it aside. “But guys like Justin like Brazilians.” She smiles secretively. “And of course, all those gorgeous girls from Brazil too.” She chooses a new magazine and continues in her role of advisor, like she’s an expert on him. “Womanizers like all girls; it’s part of their charm. They’re perfect specimens, and we can’t help but be drawn to that.” She smiles. “You know that earthiness about you, that gentle fierceness—he can be drawn to that. I saw that he was drawn to that. Under that drive, you’re sweeter and more gentle, and he’s more like fire, more forceful, more ambitious. Justin plays around but he’s hard—as everybody who’s done business with him knows.”

My phone vibrates, and this time it’s a call. SIN.

Force and fire.

Hard.

I want to answer. I want to hear his voice.

I also want to not want these things.

I swear, if the knot in my stomach gets any tighter, I’m going to implode.

I’m staring at my phone when another text pops up.

What does a man need to do to get you to say yes?

Chewing on my inner cheek, I stare at my phone for what feels like forever. Yes! Yes! YES! But also NO. We cannot. NO. NO. NO.

Finally I focus on the job, tell myself it’s a yes with an emotional and physical no attached, and answer:

I’ll meet you there

My hand is shaking as I tuck my phone away again and try to come back to the present. Spa. Makeover. Victoria. Oh yes, Victoria. Very interesting development here. I scrutinize her in confusion, then say, “From what you just told me, I’m starting to think you actually want me to succeed.”

To be honest, I don’t bother to hide my surprise because, well, I’ve been surprised by Victoria in a great way today.

“I do want you to succeed—why wouldn’t I? I love working at Edge. Where am I supposed to go?” A look of puzzlement crosses her face. “We all know we’re on our last breath. Nobody’s taking over. Our print run gets tinier by the second. Every one of us will end up without a job.” She shakes her head. “I don’t want that.” She sighs. “I want to be looked upon favorably by our bosses, but to be honest, I’m not sure what I’d do with Justin if I ever had him.”

“Oh, that boy just can’t be had.” I laugh lightly, but inside, this makes me sad. That Justin is so apart from the crowd may make it harder for him to feel like he “belongs” anywhere. That he will never belong to anyone at all.

“What do you mean, ‘he can’t be had’?”

“He just can’t be had, not in any way that matters to him. Nobody’s gotten more than just a tiny piece of Justin. Not his dad, not even his mother. No woman. Not his friends or his businesses. He spreads himself around, even in his interests. Nothing really claims him. He keeps that to himself, all that fire. He just gives you a glimpse of the spark.”

“Well”—she fans her face with her hands—“you already have a better grasp of him than I do!”

A little before 8 p.m., I enter my apartment, remembering I’d promised Victoria I’d wear a dress. “Try not to reveal too much. People always take their tops off for Justin. He might like wondering what’s underneath instead.”

“He won’t get to see it, so he can wonder to death,” I flippantly said.

But I’m surprised my tongue didn’t catch fire, because I don’t feel flippant. I feel anticipation of the kind that makes you concentrate on nothing. Makes you try to do ten things at once and fail at them all.

I haven’t seen him since he Frenched me outside my apartment right before the elevator doors closed.

By the time Gina gets home, I’ve got clothes strewn all over my room. I had texted her: Sin is at the Tunnel tonight and we’re going!

Whereas I’d been deliberating what to wear since before I even opened the door, she instantly storms inside and takes charge.

“What are you still doing in bra and panties? Get dressed! Wear that top that’s cool and modern in blue and white that says MY BOYFRIEND IS A SAILOR, just because you want to appear taken and like you didn’t try too hard.”

“Not try too hard? I spent four hours at a spa. I paid for my silly makeover.”

“Wear that top anyway that says your boyfriend is a sailor. If he wants in your pants, he’s going to loathe that.”

I pull the top out of my closet and eye it, my nerves skyrocketing as the seconds tick by. I decide maybe I will wear a skirt and the boyfriend top. Not as seductive as a dress but still, he can get an eyeful of long legs now that they’re slick and oiled up nicely. And why are you wanting to show him your long legs, Selena?

“Is this a good idea, G?” I leap into my skirt.

“It’s a fucking great idea, it’s exactly what you wanted!”

“Um, no, it isn’t. I wanted research, but this is almost like a date.”

“No, it’s not. Justin doesn’t date. He just hooks up.”

God, I’m wishing he’ll drool for me.

I’m wishing that at least one night, one night in his existence, he will have a wet dream about me.

But I’m still so uncertain. I turn and ask Gina, “Is this all right? I’m treading such a fine line. . . .”

“Selena, just remember he’s using you, you’re using him; you’re not in a relationship, nor will you ever be. Just do the job and don’t get involved.”

“Okay,” I quickly agree, just to get her to stop saying the word using.

I gulp back a ball of nerves the size of a lemon and as bitter as the peel, then grab my bag and tell myself that I can do this, that I want to do this, that I want to do this more than I want to do him.

16

TUNNEL

“Okay, we’re mingling. Help me find Emmett.”

Wynn, Gina, and I roam the mazelike rooms inside the Tunnel with the smells of clay walls and sweat filling our nostrils along with perfume, cologne, and alcohol. Flashing lights and music hit us as we head toward the heart of the Tunnel, the “pit.” Wynn leads the pack while I trail behind, head turning as I look for him.

“Bet he’s there.” Gina points at a room to the right, which is filled to capacity, so I can’t even see past the wall of glittery dresses and skin at its fringes.

“Why there?”

“Hello? Where there’s smoke there’s fire? Where there’s Justin, there are GIRLS.”

Frowning at that, I wedge myself through to the busiest corner, and my heart stutters because there he is, the Guy Who Owns My Hormones. While Callan and Tahoe look good, Justin could be wearing a sign that says BRING EXTRA PANTIES.

Two women sit on each of his friends’ laps, and a pretty blonde socialite is talking to Justin, looking at him in complete rapture.

Music pulses through the speakers. Bodies bump and jostle as I steal this moment to watch him while he’s not watching me. Tan, his hair standing up a little bit, his shirt rolled to the elbows like it always is at the clubs, where it gets hot and crazy. God, butterflies.

He’s laughing as he turns, rather casually scanning the room, and then his shoulders tense. My heart stops, flips, because he’s noticed me. Then I’m subjected to the seriously uncomfortable pressure of his scrutiny.

He cocks a brow, and once again he gets that curl to his lip. You going to stay there all night? I can almost hear him say.

Justin sets his drink down on the side table and comes over. Every step makes my heart beat faster and faster. He looks at me, starting at my feet and working his way upward—his eyes miss no detail.

“Selena.” He draws me into his strong arms and presses a kiss to my cheek, the brush of his lips so incredibly light I can’t believe such a minuscule gesture can do so many things to my body. I’m having a war inside myself as I try to steady my breathing as he takes my hand and tugs me to their table in the back. I was born a girl; I’ve got proof of that on my birth certificate. But I’ve never felt so much like a girl until this moment, when my hand feels tiny and fragile in his strong grip.

Callan and Tahoe greet me through the music. “Hey Rache!” “Hey Rache!”

I slide into the booth and Justin settles down beside me, his shirt stretching in so many places I can’t help feeling constrained in my own skin just by the sight.

He orders a drink for me, then sits back, looking as relaxed as I am tense. Something happened when he visited my apartment. The fact that it mattered to him if I was feeling well or not touched a chord, but also, he opened up to me in a way that surprised me, and, even more surprisingly, I opened up to him. We both shared things—real things. Now, the intimacy between us is so palpable right now that every inch of me aches to get closer, as close as we felt that night.

His arm outstretched behind me, his friends continue to banter and do wicked things to their whores with their drinks. “How was your week, Selena?” At Justin’s question, a warm glow of excitement flows through my veins, because there’s real interest in his gaze.

“Good. My work is good. My mother’s good. I . . . well, I don’t want to bore you.” But I smile. I can’t remember when anyone’s looked so attentive listening to me describe what my week was like.

Then I ask him about his trip to London—because of course I read that he was there for forty-eight hours—and he says it was “good,” then shifts the subject back to me.

“What are you writing about now?” he whispers.

He’s always so focused on everything I say; people pass and slap his back or call his name, and never once does he lift his head to acknowledge anyone apart from me. Just as engrossed in him and having trouble steering away from dangerous topics, I hedge and say, “Researching for next week’s column.”

I notice one of his outstretched arms is farther down on the back of my seat, and think, My topic is you.

A painful yearning hits me dead center. Whoa. Where did that come from?

I glance down at my lap as I try to regroup. Why, oh why do these feelings of instability have to happen to me with you?

Is it because I want to draw you out when you get so serious and you’re not teasing me?

Or is it that you really want to know, for some inexplicable reason, the things that move me?

Or maybe it’s because you make me so nervous . . . or maybe, simply, because you asked?

I drag in a breath, aware of being watched through those thick lashes by those boundless, deep-set eyes, green like the forest, hiding all the secrets of somebody who’s never really reveals his cards until the game is won. Cunning eyes. Male eyes. Interested eyes. I want to shut myself up and not keep putting myself out there with him while he’s still giving me back hardly anything at all, but I can’t help wanting to answer him when he asks me questions. I glance at the dance floor and slowly rise to my feet, tugging his hand.

“Dance with me,” I tell him.

I’m sick and tired of wondering, stressing, wanting and fighting it. I’m tired of thinking, of trying not to feel. Suddenly all I want is to dance with him. An hour of fun, an hour of being just a girl with a guy.

He cocks a brow, says nothing . . . but he stands. He stands slowly, like a serpent uncoiling. I laugh and tug on his hand a little more to lead him to the connecting room, where the dance floor is. “Dance with me, Justin.”

His hand is large and long-fingered in mine as I tug him forward, and he lets me lead him, like a lazy wild animal indulging his prey before pouncing, and he steps onto the dance floor with me, his hands lifting to my hips. A fire churns inside me when I glance up to see the wicked tilt at the corners of his lips.

He watches me as I move sinuously under his hands, up and down and sideways, using him as a pole. A pole I want to kiss, just like any other girl, because it turns out I’m pretty human after all. He starts letting his hands roam up and down my sides, his eyes glinting like a devil’s. I take his hands and put them on my nape so he holds me close. My stupid head can’t think—my thoughts are all blanked. I want him naked, sweaty, out of his element, not smirking, not amused, definitely not in control.

“Is that the best you can do?” I taunt, surprised when he yanks me closer.

Then, with my hips in his hands, he moves me. Wow. He’s hard. All. Over. People jumping around us, bumping against us, Justin dances like his body is an extension of mine. He draws me against him with very little effort on his part, and the stubble of his jaw scrapes against my nape as he pulls my hair to the side and runs the silver rings on his hand up the column of my neck. I’m so shocked by the soft sensuality in his movements and touch, the stealth and ripple of his muscles against mine, how safe and excited I feel in his arms, I’m high on this feeling. On him. On this night. I’m stealing touches that might definitely be too close to the fire, but my hands have a mind of their own. Part of me is crazed. His lips were made to kiss, his hands to touch; that’s the sole purpose of his thick hair: for women to cling to while he pounds them hard. His eyes seem to offer peeks into heaven and into some kind of party in hell, and I’m maddened by it all.

I run my fingers up his shirt, around his square shoulders, savoring the rock-hard feel of his muscles. I couldn’t stop the way I want to touch him even if I tied myself up!

The song ends, and he takes my hand and leads the way back to the table. Beads of perspiration run down between my breasts. Dozens of stares come at us; nearly every woman in the room is surveying me, head to toe, most with expressions that tell me they want to claw my skin off.

I almost wince.

At the booth, Callan is relating Justin anecdotes to the socialite whores.

“Oh yeah, but Justin crushed those rumors.”

“Crushed!” Tahoe proudly echoes, fist to palm.

Ignoring them, Justin pulls me into the booth with him and resumes his position with his arm on the backrest of my seat, his head lowered in my direction so I can feel his warm breath at the back of my ear. “Hey . . . look at me,” he coaxes as he slides his hand to my thigh and my thoughts scatter.

The touch sparks all my nerve receptors, all my yearning. I don’t know if it’s been building for minutes, hours, days, weeks, or my whole life, but I know I’m never aware of it unless he’s near. Ruled by impulse now, I turn around and lean a little against him. He shifts so that his arm is now loose around my shoulders, and shiver as his fingers wander under the fall of my hair. His friends are talking. Justin whispers in my ear, “You look very pretty.”

Suddenly my cheeks are burning and my stomach turns into a live thing.

The music stops and “Kiss You Slow” by Andy Grammer starts. He cups my face, his eyelids at half-mast. He kisses the corner of my lips.

The air feels like a lick of fire on my skin.

He gathers me tighter and flatter against his side, then drags all four of his silver-ringed fingers down the side of my face, his eyes following their path. “I’m with the hottest girl in the Tunnel tonight,” he murmurs as he rubs my lipstick off my mouth with the sexiest brush of his thumb I could imagine.

And there, in his beautiful eyes, is a wild desire mirroring the one inside me. Desire unlike anything I’ve ever known clogs my throat, drives me to gently nip his thumb. I shouldn’t be doing this, but I can’t stop. The song is talking about kissing slow . . .

My perspective zooms out for a little bit, and I become aware of his friends making out in their corner with their whores just like Justin is making out with me. Of my friends mingling out there, somewhere. Of people dancing, others glancing in our direction. And of my life, changing, right this moment, somehow, as he stares at my face, the colors in his eyes shifting like a kaleidoscope as he seems to battle with the same confusing emotions that I am.

He takes my hips and slowly guides me to his lap. I go all too willingly, loosening my body so he can sit me sideways while I clutch onto his neck for dear life.

“Do you want this?” he whispers as he reaches beneath my skirt and I feel the warmth of his hand caressing the inside of my thigh.

Heart violently fluttering in my chest, my fingertips slide up his neck as I try to press closer. His neck is hard and thick and I duck my head to smell him. Then I whisper recklessly in his ear, “I’m with the most handsome guy.”

“You fucking sly dog. You’re probably going to do some jousting later on with Rache, too!” Tahoe calls from his seat, lifting his wineglass at us while his floozy tries to readjust her dress.

Justin’s hand pulls out from my skirt, but he squeezes my thigh as he looks into my eyes regretfully. “Busy, T,” he growls. He levels Tahoe a look that could just about flay the skin off his bones.

I blow out a breath, remembering the images and the rumors already going around about me, only making my job so much more risky.

“Not here,” I tell him when I recover at least a little bit of my brain.

Making out in a club? Really, Selena? With Justin?

Justin seizes my hips and helps me down off his lap.

“Hey, he really likes you,” Tahoe calls to me, wagging his eyebrows as Justin summons a waiter and asks for something that makes him rush away, only to come back and nod.

“Mr. Justin, follow me,” the waiter says.

Justin grabs his jacket from the bench and then takes me by the elbow, murmuring in my ear, “Come with me, Selena.”

We’re led into a private room. There’s a table at the end with little electric candles. A wine bucket, two wineglasses, a vase with a single pink tulip, dimmed lights. The same song playing outside but far more intimate.

“Anything you need, Mr. Justin?” the waiter says, and when Justin pushes what looks like several bills into his hand, the waiter almost falls apart.

“Thank you,” Justin says. He guides me by the hand to the couch, and the waiter shuts the door with a soft, heart-dropping little click.

My legs can barely hold me but thank god, Justin sits me down. He shifts his toned, beautiful body so he can look at me. God. His eyes. I can’t even hold them with mine for more than a few seconds; my heart is pounding in my chest, my skull, between my aching legs.

“Justin . . .” I start.

He seems to have a one-track mind right now as we settle back on the couch, and he ducks his head and presses his lips to my neck. I moan and slip my fingers into his hair, feeling how thick and soft it is while a burning, boiling need circles around in my veins.

I shudder when his lips press to my pulse point. Then he’s tasting me with his tongue, slowly exploring the tender skin of my neck, and my toes are curling and my body’s trembling as he cups my breast in one hand and gently squeezes while he strokes his free fingers up my bare arm, up and down. “Are you okay with this?”

He leans back, lips curled as he looks at me, and when I nod, completely and totally breathless, he holds me by the back of the head and presses a slow kiss to the corner of my mouth. He’s gentle. Too gentle. Within a minute I’m too drunk, lust drunk, Justin drunk, to do anything but exist. Kisses. Touches. Kisses he sets on my ear. The corners of my mouth.

He slides his hand under my skirt again. “What are you wearing under there?” he husks out.

“Something.” My voice shakes with desire.

“Something you want to show me?” His lips curl again.

I’m helpless under his probing stare as he tugs my skirt up to reveal my panties. I don’t want to breathe, I don’t even want to live after this moment when he’s looking at me the way he is.

“Justin,” I plead, feeling all wanton and nervous.

“Shh,” he says softly as he takes a good look at my tiny, see-through lace panties, “I won’t hurt you. All I want is to look at you.”

“Only look?” I don’t know if I want him to say yes, no, I don’t know . . . what.

“And touch,” he coaxes. He draws my leg up to his hip and pulls me closer so that I half straddle him as his fingers skim the back of my knee. Suddenly a thousand nerve receptors awaken, so sensitive to the lightest pressure of his fingertips, I moan against his throat. When he pulls my hair up and ducks his head and uses his tongue on the side of my neck, I moan deeper . . .

Usually I’d expect him to head straight for my hottest, wettest spot, but this is one knowledgeable guy and he doesn’t do anything I expect him to. His lips press to my temple as he teases with his fingers up the back of my leg and then he grazes my inner thighs with his thumbs. My breath hitches, my nipples poking into my silk top and into his chest.

I arch my neck, pulling in deeper, faster breaths that smell of his cologne and intoxicate me. I think I just moaned his name. Using one hand, he slides a few fingers along the crotch of my panties.

“Tell me you want my fingers here,” he whispers. Against my temple, he’s smiling in obvious male delight because I’m absolutely wet already. I close my eyes and wrap my arms around his neck, and I imagine us naked, moving together.

He keeps one hand caressing my inner thigh and the back of my leg while he slides his other hand under my top. A restrained squeeze on my thigh and I can tell he’s getting serious. I can already feel an earth-shattering orgasm building, and I’m starting to get more than my little share of fear.

“Sain . . . um, Justin . . . don’t stop touching me, I just . . . need to slow down. . . .”

He eases back, and we separate for a moment, our breathing audible. My pupils can’t focus, he’s a blur. A blur I’m supposed to write about, not to have.

“Give me your hand,” he whispers. Lightly he reaches out and holds my hand in his strong grip, and I can feel his eyes, liquid and green, watching my reaction as he dips his finger to my palm. Suddenly I’m reminded of each of the forty thousand nerve endings in this very palm. He strokes between the base of my fingers and knuckles, the caress stimulating like electricity.

I watch, transfixed, as he interlocks our fingers and uses his thumb to massage my palm up to the base of my fingers in slow little circles. My blood vessels feel too close to my skin. A fire builds in my body as he holds my hand and slowly straightens out my arm. Gently, he kisses along the inside of my elbow, fluttering his tongue across my skin and bathing the warm spot with his breath. What he’s doing feels like a drug, a drug I never want to him to stop shooting into me.

Slowly, he tugs my top upward and tucks it into my bra strap so it stays up.

I’ve read the solar plexus is a powerful nerve cluster, but I’ve never experienced it before. He starts below my breasts, caressing upward, spreading me out on the couch so that he’s kissing me softly around my belly button. When I moan, he soothes and whispers, relaxing my body, my abs uncontracting so that all the blood heads to the part between my legs that’s on absolute fire. It burns and tingles at the prospect of being touched. He’s so close and at the same time so far away. He caresses up my ribs and down. Ducking his head, he uses his tongue around my navel, then dips it, hot and wet, into the tiny nook. A dozen erogenous zones awaken to him. Nerve endings never before stimulated like this tingle and scream, my hot zones alive. All of me. Alive. I’m excited mentally, physically, emotionally.

“You have no idea how much you excite me,” I hear myself admit as I caress his hair and he lifts his head, tugs my bra down off one swollen globe, curls his fingers around my breast, and gently suctions the tip of my nipple with a hungry sucking sound.

“I want you beneath me tonight, Selena.” His lashes sweep upward and he looks up at me, the gold rim around the green of his eyes gleaming with intent. Every breath, every undulating move of my body under his as he suckles me, everything undoes me from the very core outward. “Writhing,” he says. “Panting. Wet.”

He takes the hardened, already sensitized nipple back into his mouth. I slide down the seat, part my legs, and try to pull him above me. Instead he lets his hand slip in between my legs. My arms wind around his shoulders tight enough that I can feel the muscles flexed and taut under my fingertips as he slowly tugs my panties aside with his thumb and slides one finger inside me.

The touch triggers a cascade of pleasure through my body. I arch, a tiny sound of need and ecstasy slipping through my lips. I can see the mask of control he always wears slipping as he watches me, his lips curling with a soft smile. “For me . . . Selena. Let go for me.”

One rub of his thumb on my clit. One deft finger inside me. Those male eyes, glittering, watching. That voice, coaxing me. And I come, twisting with a soft cry, unable to stop it, unable to tell him that I wanted him to let go for me, too.

I gasp and pant for a while longer. He shifts his big body and watches me with that soft smile as he tugs my skirt back down and lets my top drop to cover me, using a hand to smooth it back in place as he whispers in my ear, “I’ve wanted to do that since the day you crashed my Ice Box party.”

He’s teasing me. I’ve gotten to know that tone now. So I tease him back. “I was dared by friends. Guess now I can say I met you and you were the heartless bastard everyone says you are.”

“Who’s everyone?”

“Your ex-girlfriends.”

“I don’t have girlfriends.”

“Ex-lovers, whatever.”

“I have something to say about that, too.”

“Oh really, what is it?”

“I’m innocent?” He smiles.

I laugh. I want to kiss him, kiss him real hard, and fuck him harder. Oh god, I want to give him what he just gave me, but then what? “Are you having fun with me?”

“That was me actually attempting to let the lady have fun with me.”

I put my hand on his thigh playfully. “You make my world spin a little faster.”

“I’d like to rock it even more,” he rumbles, and I laugh.

He looks at me, his grin, his eyes, all of him mischief to the tenth power. Mischief and sin.

“What’s your idea of rocking a girl’s world?”

“You tell me.” He trails his eyes down my body.

“Me?!” I cry. “What do I have to do with it?”

“I’ve never wanted to rock a woman’s world the way I want to rock yours.”

It seems my lungs just froze on an in breath.

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