#need this so bad omfl

[yanderenightmare]

OMFL can you please give us more of yan Deku forcing darling to rim him please!! it unlocked something... thank you! u da bez

BNHA ! THIRST

Midoriya Izuku "Deku" x darling

TW: NSFW, yandere, twisted ideations, dubcon/noncon, rimming, forced orgasms, sex toys

Deku loves making you cum while you rim him – likes to think that it’ll make you love it too – that if he makes you cum enough, you’ll one day start bashfully asking to eat his ass in return – eagerly wanting to return the favor like his good little girl. Or better yet, that you one day won't be able to cum without lapping his taint and slurping his hole – begging for a taste of him while desperately trying to cum.

He wants you addicted to it – wants the mere thought of being allowed to lick his rim to make your mouth water and cunt wet – hot and horny and hungry for it – like an aphrodisiac. 

That’s why he only brings the wands and vibes out when you have your pretty face smothered – puckered lips kissing his – while he zaps your little clit with pleasure and tells you to stick your tongue out as far as you can so he can ride your little face like a saddle. 

He loves thinking that you’ll someday start wanting and asking to sit down on your knees to eat him out – that you’ll love it just as much as he loves feeling your soft lips kiss on his taint and lick on his hole with your nose tickling his heavy balls as you wiggle and gently worm your pink tongue within him to taste his insides. Likes the image of you desperately trying to get deeper while squeezing your nipple in one hand and rubbing your clit with the other – thanking him and whining about how good he tastes as he pets your hair and smiles down at you, lazily stroking his cock while watching you chasing your own pleasure by gorging on his hole with eyes closed in bliss as you suck and slurp.

Plus, it feels really good when you cum and moan all prettily into him – the friction of your hums zip straight through him to tickle his prostate, making him groan out a moan and an elevated laugh as he rolls his hips and grinds down against your face harder, resting there for a moment with your tongue still deep inside him even after he’s blown his load all over your tits. Roosting on you with shuddering bated breaths as the additional full-body orgasm your pretty lips just gave him eventually dies down – he finally lifts off your sticky face with strings of spit clinging from your lips to the wet curly pubes sparsely decorating his crack.

You were so reluctant with him in the beginning, fighting back and turning your head – sealing your lips shut, so all he had to rub against was your little button nose and chin. Needing to use his own spit to make you wet enough. 

You were such a bad girl back then – refusing to eat your meal – refusing to give it even just a little taste. 

But you kissed it so sweetly when you were tired and sleepy after umpteen orgasms – he had you tuckered out and willing then – with your clit pinched between rough fingers and your face in tears begging him to leave it alone. You happily and messily rimmed him like a cute drooling pet then – eating it all up like such a good precious little girl eager to please her daddy and make him proud of her.

tip-jar: Kofi

[lone-trailblazer]

Omfl can someone be horny about Daddy Jing or horny gremlin Caelus with me I need to talk about them so bad

[yanderes-galore]

Platonic Yandere! Primis! Tank Tempsey with Mentally Regressed! Darling? She often appears and sound like a child throughout their journey, but is actually a young woman over 18 and is in the place of Samantha Maxis instead. She's mentally regressed due to the corruption by getting in contact with Element 115 and gotten stuck in the Dark Aether realm in the Ultimis timeline, no thanks to Richtofan. She likes to play with them— and by play, I mean constantly sending them horse-sized Hellcats who she calls Whiskers.

Always angrily called the four men "Meanies" whenever they ruined the fun. Likes to try provoking them in her hallucination "child" form and gets away before they can even get to her. While not knowing Dempsey is frantically trying to urge Richtofan to fix her faster. To Dempsey, she's no more than a little girl who's been through a lot. (just wait until he realizes she's actually older than she appears and sounds) It'll take a lot of effort for that to happen due to her powerful dark aether abilities and mental instability. They'd probably have to somehow travel to the Dark Aether realm in order to get to her actual physical form to try and cure her.

Lol sorry I got too invested with this request. But I hope this sort of helps! :)

I... um... woah I didn't realize how long and complex this request was until I looked back at it again. I'm going to do what I can with this and just kind of tackle it in sections if that's fine? I got a bit overwhelmed and a bit confused. I need to rewatch the Zombie lore omfl, lol.

You have good ideas Anon I was just confused on where to start with this personally, sorry if I had trouble following-

Yandere! Platonic! Primis! Tank Dempsey with Mentally Regressed! Darling

Pairing: Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Female Darling, Mental regression presumably due to trauma/corruption, Obsession, Dempsey trying to be a dad, Slight manipulation, Implied murder, Overprotective behavior.

I can imagine your first meeting doesn't give the best impression.

Upon your first meeting Dempsey doesn't entirely like you the most.

The giant zombified cats and regular but fast zombies certainly don't help.

Although when Dempsey sees the hallucination of your child form he starts to wonder if you really are just a kid infected with Element 117.

You call them all "meanies" whenever they get past your waves of zombies but you most likely hate Richtofen the most.

All of which only makes Dempsey more distrusting of him.

Honestly Dempsey probably feels bad for you when he sees your child form and is probably always the first to follow.

This surprises the whole group as no one really thought Dempsey had a fatherly side in him, let alone to a strange child trying to kill them.

Dempsey really feels bad for you... a lost little girl stuck in an unfortunate situation.

He does wish you could stop with all the hellcats, however.

Dempsey would indeed bring you up to Richtofen for information and ask for him to try and fix you.

"Fix her? Dempsey do you know how much work that would-"

"She's a little girl trapped somewhere, Richtofen. Who cares... we need to learn more about this. Why does she hate you so much?"

"...."

Finding and rescuing you is a trivial task on its own.

Meanwhile whenever Dempsey sees you he tries to convince you he's just trying to help.

Due to your situation you could react in whatever way you feel makes sense.

The Dark Aether's power corrupts your thoughts so you most likely ignore him and go back to your games or listen briefly before running off.

For the entirety of the journey Dempsey believes you're just a little girl.

Until he meets you in person... where he finds your physical body.

Somehow and in someway Dempsey manages to get Richtofen to try and force your soul back into your body.

(This is different from Samantha's backstory but bear with me, this is where I take my own liberties with this-)

This doesn't entirely fix you as your soul is that of a child and not... a grown woman.

Richtofen then leaves you with Dempsey as he is the one who "wanted to fix her so bad."

As a result Dempsey becomes your caretaker.

A parent if you will.

Dempsey doesn't mind the role, he also doesn't mind the age thing.

In Dempsey's eyes... you're still that little girl he's been following after all this time.

It may take time before you fully trust him but Dempsey is willing to wait.

While you try to get used to having a functioning body again, Dempsey tries to help.

Dempsey soon appears as a father to you.

He knows you aren't fully cured and you may be unable to be fully cured... yet that does not stop him from caring for you.

If the others in the group have issues with it he ignores them and tells you to do the same.

Although Nikolai and Takeo may also act like parents to you if you come to them, while Richtofen prefers to stay away.

You're an important part of the team to Dempsey and he's just happy he was able to help you in some way.

He isn't sure what made him want to be a parent to you so suddenly... but he isn't fighting it.

He just can't leave you alone, can he?

You've already been alone for so long...

So maybe you do need him?

Dempsey could be getting second hand corruption from you and your body when he has this obsessive need to be around you... yet as of now there's no way to fix it.

This could be a way to explain his yandere behavior, however.

It's hard for me to find a way to make this yandere for some reason but Dempsey would probably be an overprotective parent.

He'd start fights with Richtofen if he tried to suggest he leaves you.

"She'll hinder our mission, Dempsey. We need to get her somewhere safe."

"Hinder? She's my daughter, Richtofen... we aren't leaving her!"

"Daughter...? Dempsey, have you gone mad?"

"Hell no... she needs someone and that someone is me. Look at her... do you think she can take care of herself?"

Dempsey may be occupied with the mission half the time but he teaches you what you need to know.

He also tries to show you fatherly affection, like hugs even if you struggle to understand it.

Dempsey does not mind your childish view of things.

He really is a good guardian for you.

If you ever got hurt then Dempsey does what he can to fix it.

Be it killing someone or something... or just patching you up and telling you it's okay.

It's nearly impossible for the rest of the crew to pry you apart from each other.

Dempsey loves and cares for you... soon you do too.

You don't understand that Dempsey is suffocating.

You don't understand a lot of things due to being in the MPD for most of your time.

Despite that... you don't mind.

You love Dempsey as your father...

Dempsey loves you as his daughter...

Who cares if he never wants to leave you and turns violent over you... you need him and he knows it.

[prodbyton]

not the link disappearing 💀

https://www.tumblr.com/taroicantwait/753516865015447552/omfl-please-please-just-one-chance-is-all-i-ask-he

sometimes tumblr so annoying like omg but link (sfw!!)

yes 😫 i saw this and was moaning and groaning out loud cuz he looks so good i need him so bad i’d do anything for a piece of anton

[nobodycanjearme]

i want them back here to cut me up so bad omfl what have they done to me

i need them i need to be whining at blade point again for them. i want to be in pain again please cut me up until i’m so fuzzy i struggle to breathe please

[lix-ables]

I'M COMING TO FUCKING DISCUSS WITH YOU WTF WAS THAT HYUNJIN DRABBLE HUH i'm so down bad the fic has me on my knees i need him so bad i need him RIGHT TF NOW omfg

YOU CAN THANK 🎱 ANON FOR IT WKSJJDDJD CAUSE IM SO GONE IM LOSING IT OMFL

[yanggerm-archive]

bruh deadass crying because i already found out the year finals dates and im not ready lmaooo and my school ends in June so ??? also i have so much I have to do these weeks and Im afraid i wont be online that much so I might have to queue up some post so Im really sorry if im not online that much sksosksk. A lot of shit will be coming up so yeah sksksk

[reachfolk]

1-5 for the character development questions for Alexandria!

💛 from @korvanjund

this took forever to write cause of course i had waY too much to say omfl, but it was super fun!! tysm for the ask darlin <3

what (or who) would your character die for? live for?

family, family, family!! literally everything for alexi goes back to family. she may be on bad terms with her father's side (understatement of the century, but that's for question 3 lmao), but she would do literally anything for her siblings. protecting them is the main reason she's willing to overcome every fear in her fight against alduin. of course, she's also just as close with her aunt ursula. and she may have... a complicated relationship with her mother and father, she loves them and would do anything to keep them safe.

as for what she'd die for, she's just as dedicated to the cause of freeing the reach from nord control as most reachfolk. it's largely because she sees the reachfolk as an extension of her family. the reach is her home and she's so unabashedly proud of that. granted, she isn't as extreme in her views as the forsworn, but we're not gonna get into the highkey racism in the way bethesda wrote that whole faction lmao.

who (or what) does your character love most in the world? why?

this is such a hard question to answer cause like *slaps roof of alexi* this sweet girl can fit so much love in her. if she like, absolutely HAD to pick a handful of people, it would be her siblings (no, she couldn't pick between them even with a gun to her head, and tbh neither could they). i could literally go on for HOURS about her siblings and why they're all so close, but the tldr is that they're really the only people in the world that Get her. their social standing has always been in a really precarious place given how drastically different their mother and father's backgrounds are, and so they never particularly fit in with most kids from their social class. but they also didn't get very much of a chance to connect with their reachfolk heritage. i won't go so far as to call them outcasts, but they were definitely seen as... different, and there weren't many opportunities for them to feel like normal kids except for when they were with each other. but the other people alexandria is closest to are her aunt ursula, bothela (vanilla npc, the lady who runs the hag's cure), and ophelia from her coven.

that covers it for people, but the thing she loves most in the world is easily alchemy! it literally shows in every part of her mannerisms and shapes the whole way she looks at the world. a huge part of why she's so connected to namira is because she's so drawn to even the most grotesque things in the world, because there's opportunity in all of them to create something new and helpful. it's why she got so close to bothela, bc she's the one that trained alexi in alchemy since she was a kid.

who (or what) does your character hate most in the world? why?

this is ironic considering the first question but literally it's her uncles, thonar and thongvor silver-blood lol. i'm sure anyone who's been in markarth knows that they aren't exactly stand up dudes, but after the whole issue with the forsworn conspiracy came out, she probably had to be physically restrained by her companions to keep her from killing them then and there. she spent a huge part of her childhood knowing there was a target on her back and the backs of her parents and siblings, because there's nothing thonar and thongvor want more than to get rid of them entirely. despite the fact that she had such a fancy upbringing, her uncles were the reason none of them were ever given a real chance to rest. and then there's sooo much to say about how that exacerbated isobel's anxiety issues, which all of her kids including alexi later inherited. alexi literally carries that pain in her genes and she's never been able to get away from it no matter how hard she's tried.

again, this is one of those things i could talk about for ages, so if u wanna hear about one of the many times her uncles actively made an attempt on the lives of her parents and siblings, feel free to send me an ask abt it i'll happily tell u everything. there's like a 30k fic idea there but i have the gist of it all written in my drafts lol.

on top of all of that, she definitely has a LOT of issues with everything they do in the reach. like, ulfric stormcloak gets an honorary mention for this question, and the fact that they support him sure as fuck doesn't help. and considering the fact that she's been sent to cidhna mine and often helped out in the warrens, she's seen the worst of what the silver-bloods did to her people.

what is your character's main goal? does this goal change, or does it remain consistent throughout the story?

tbh this one is also hard to answer bc the game devs of bethesda are COWARDS and they didn't give us this option in the game even though all the pieces were there, but i feel like alexi would almost inevitably join the rebellion to liberate the reach. when she left home, she was still trying to make sense of things, and she just needed to put some distance between herself and all the things tearing her in different directions. she'd spent so much of her life trying to placate everyone that she couldn't figure out what her goal is until she was in a place where she didn't have to think about everyone else.

but no matter what, i think all roads lead to home for her. she may have had a strained relationship with the forsworn (esp when madanach was in prison and working for her uncles in secret), but she'd join when madanach is given free reign to control the rebellion as he sees fit rather than have to bend backwards to satisfy thonar. i personally hc that after that, the forsworn's actions are more controlled and they start to operate less like a disjointed faction of bandits and more like, yknow, people fighting for an actual cause. once she rebuilds her faith in the rebellion, she'd definitely join up.

does your character achieve their main goal? if so, does achieving this goal satisfy them?

again, hard to say since there's no in-game way for this to happen bc the devs were weak, BUT in my heart of hearts i like to pretend that there was a proper questline where u join up with madanach and retake the reach. after everything they've been through, i really hope it'll be canon that they finally are able to liberate themselves. i do think alexandria and her siblings would all do their part to help the rebellion, and their auntie was probably a proponent of the forsworn's rule during the great war, so they're in the clear. i'd imagine the situation is more complicated with their parents.

regardless of whether or not the forsworn are ever able to retake the reach, alexi definitely spends most of her life running around skyrim with the hope of fighting against people's prejudices against the reachfolk. (in the verse where she's the ldb) she kind of understands her role as an essential figurehead to the movement and how she's key to earning the nord's respect. i mean, it'd be hard to argue that they're evil savages when one of their own literally saved every single mortal soul on nirn. so, yeah, i think she feels pretty satisfied with that lol

[birthisacurse-and]

several things from the debate:

• if I hear one more comment about the fucking swine flu, I'm drinking two bottles of bleach

• on that note, I don't want to hear any more "x happened during person y's incumbency" attacks/arguments. They completely disregard the concept of economic growth and cycles. Please shut the fuck up already, you sound dumb as fuck, omfl

• why didn't Pence jump on the point of the president's health and fitness for office? He totally could've thrown Harris for a loop by bringing up Biden's mental health and pressuring her about whether or not he would be completely transparent if he were seen by a doctor. But instead he actually fell for Harris's taxes bait?? And with such a weak defense??? Lmao man, oh my lord

• why did Pence seriously think arguing China is an active national security risk and to blame for COVID would appeal to anyone but people as far right as him, and abject racists? A super effective anti-China argument would've been a warning against their impending economic surpassing of the US, eventual military supremacy, and potential nuclear armament to meet our capacities. This is based on real facts and genuinely terrifies the American people without falling back on xenophobic, baseless accusations or Red Scare tactics

• that being said, I never want to hear a politician ever utter a sentence akin to "communism bad" ever again for the rest of my fucking life. Clinton kept bringing up fucking Russia in 2015/16 and now Pence and Trump with their stupid "communist China" bullshit, come on grandpas, are we still in the midst of the Cold War in your heads? Get your heads out of the 80s, for fuck's sake

• I'm actually so surprised Pence didn't do more of Trump and the Republican Party's "Biden is giving into socialism" arguments

• also, Pence seriously needs to brush up on appealing to normal Americans. Some of his arguments were clearly regurgitated from the shit he probably tells lobbyists at dinners and says to campaign donors while schmoozing. Mike, normal people don't care about your vague suggestions that renewable energy will cause the destruction of America, you need to be more specific and compelling than that, bud

• I can't believe that, after getting eviscerated by Tulsi Gabbard for not defending her actions as a prosecutor, Harris still hasn't come up with a decent defense. She's lucky Pence had already talked too much so the moderator cut off his rebuttal because he was well within his right to fucking destroy her for her weak-ass response

• Also, Harris 100% alienated every single Christian voter watching. Any Christian watching who didn't know about the SCOTUS justice drama was just told by Mike Pence that she openly insulted that lady's faith, and she barely even responded. She should've been like "I, as well as Biden, are deeply guided by faith, as are my beliefs, but I still believe in the separation of church and state, an ideal upon which this country is based, therefore I do not let my faith affect my objectivity, as I fear this new Justice would," but instead she gave some weak-sauce answer about "being a woman of faith" and a lightly-veiled correlation between Biden & JFK? Wtf? I'm disappointed

• still, when all is said and done, I think that while Trump won last week's debate, Kamala had this one in the bag. She was most prepared, she talked less drivel, and she was, on average, more compelling. I went into this debate thoroughly hating the woman, and now I feel like I can mildly tolerate her

[just-some-random-blogger]

December Dates

Seventeen Summary: In the spirit of Christmas, boyfriend!svt is here to take you on a date. Word Count: 3k+ Warnings: Fluff, crackkkkkk, v many typos,etc.

R E Q U E S T

my friend: seventeen + cute

A/N: HO HO HO MERRY CHRISTMAS YOU HOS (jk) HAHAHAHAHAHHA. Also ashdiepl because im writing on a tab, i couldnt add any gifs so aksjemksksmsksksmskskdk alsO im so sorry i dont remember if the request is platonic or nah but kaksksksk this is what u get soz

-----

Alright

So no gifs

Imma just do a header real quick so u know wassap

S. Coups

Das better

hi header

I might delete u later if i get on a pc

But firsT seuNgcheEolL

*deep breath*

Ho u lucky enough to breath the same air he does

N now u are on aa date with him

WoWw

So bf!seungcheol is a cute lil snowflake

Which means he'll buy u an ugly ass Christmas sweater and matching gloves

THAT MATCHES THE ONES HE BOUGHT FOR HIMSELF OFC

then yall go out and play in the powdery snow outside

ImGine seungcheol grabbing yOuR hand 

cebAuse u a dumb loser that slips on nothing

Also warmth

pulling your scarf up a bit because he can tell you're getting cold

Then like a gentleman

will pUSH U INTO THE SNOW

AND START A FRICKIN SNOW WAR

HE'll hit ur dumb face he dont care

He'll maKe u wish u Stayed damn home

Rapid fire frikin snow granades man

Course iz all a bita fun

Then he'll let u win

Cause he does care Bout ur dumb Fce

Also he soft for u gross

Then once that's done he'll start laughing

Not because of post-snow ball fight adrenaline

But because he thinks himself so funny

When he busts a lung screaming "dO Ya wana biLd aSNOEMAN!!!!!"

AND THEN U decline and leave him in the snow

"YAAAAA WE HAVE TO BUILD A SNOWMAN THOUGH!" he'll laugh

U literally wana leave him and his annoying ass

U stomp away

He laughs and goes after u

His hot breath is visible 

and hits your ear when he comes up and wraps his arms around you from behind

U be like, "listen stupid, u corny af, lets break up"

Seungcheol would pout and kiss ur cheek, "nah, u still owe me hot choco. Break up with me after paying me back."

"Ew, why would i pay u back tho"

"Uh cause if you don't imma do thisss," then he proceeds to shove u into the snow again

"CHOI. SEUNG. CHEEOOOLLLLLLLLLLALAKAKAOKS!"

Ok well i have to cut this here first cos there are 12 boys left

Oh Hi hello u here back to ur regular programme

Jeonghan

Yiz

Unlike cheol

Dis ho not about to get cold 4 u uhm

Leave the cold for someone else

But get warm together

I mean

Wink wINKkkkk

Jk gtfo

This is a wholesome headcanon

Git warm he would gladly

So u know what dat means

CUddlEs

Imagine cuddling jeonghan

BoIii

It's da holidays

Which mean he bout to get dat $$$leep

Of course u dont mind that ur just sleeping in

Gurl if ya do

Let me stress out

If you mind sleeping in and cuddling with yoon jeong han

GUrL

Wathu doin????

AnYWAY

ITz u and him right

Ur in bed reading the novel he got u beforehand right

Look at u looking cute in knit sweater and glasses

EVEN IF U DONT NEED THEM THERE ARE GLZSSES

IM TRYING TO MAKE A SCENE HERE WORK WITH ME

it could be jeonghan's ur using it as a headband shhhh

So like ur sitting down

N beside u its jeonhan v slightly snoring

Right right right

Then ur like "man i want something to eat cause i've been sitting here reading all day"

But also ur always hungry

Cause who isnt tho lol

ANYWAY UR ABOUT TO STZND UP

but jeonghan like a needy ho is like noooooooooooodontgo

N ur like

aww wat a needy ho

"Jeonghan im just gonna get something to eat"

"Eat laterrr, i need u now"

He'll keep his eyes shut and shimmy over

Securing an arm on your  hip so u wont go

U roll ur eyes and put your book away on the cabinet next u

"Jeonghan ive literally been next to u since last night. I'm just gonna get something to eat, and 4 u 2!"

He'll flutter his eyes open only to close them and move even closer to place his head on ur lap

"I dont want toooooo"

U roll ur eyes again and shimmy out of his grip

But only to get into his arms and hide your face in his chest

"You're so needy," u note

"Says you who's tangling themselves on me"

"Touché"

Joshua

Okay

Get this

Joshua and gingerbread houses

He probably used to build one growing up

And he has just the person in mind he wants to rekindle the tradition with

Congrats u filthy animal

So he took the liberty of getting allll u and he would need

And so much more

Im talking chocolate bars

Shipped cream

Candy canes

Busicuits

Edible glitter

Gum drops

Shrek 1 2 3 4

Is there a four

Im too lazy to google it

And omg u so special to him he loves u so much

Screw u

He wants to share the love with the carats

So he vlives it all

And at first ur shy

Like what if the joshua stans come 4 u

Ok but in this story yall had already annouce ur relationship

AND EVERYONE HAS NO CHOICE BUT TO BE COOL WITH IT FFS LET UR FAVES DATE WHOEVER THEY WANT ISTG

so

Joshua is like "noo don be shy they'll all love u"

(':

N ur like ok cos i love u sm

But not like the company sm tho *barfing noises*

So yall build a gingerbread house and do a whole ass tutorial about it

Except u dont

Cause yal are morons and could stop messing up or earing the ingredients along the way

Sorry honey ur morons i dont make the rules

"Stop eating the marshmallows!"

"U literally finished the bowl of mnms tho Joshua!"

"Uh no that was the gingerbread man,"

ANd then u all bicker like children because u are omfl

And it excalates

fooD FIGHT

U smear cream on joshuas face

He sprinkles sprinkles on ur head

U press graham crackers against either of his cheeks and ask him what he is

"A sexy graham sandwich"

"Ew no wrong answer," u reply

Can i just point out that that chocolate syrup stain is never coming off

*cough cough cough moron cough cough*

Jun

Imma bout to yeet

Junhui is also feeling nostalic

super soft super baby

And since he's probably feeling bit homesick somewhere in there

he thinks he can remedy it with a bit of chinese home cooking!!!

And whiney needy cuddles also yay

Moving on so

Will it be good?

Damn straight

itll be fikin delish

Will you try to to help him

Of course u gotta help ur man

But like duh

u have eyes

And seeing him all focus and busy and hot

Is really distracting

So like ur as useful as a broken button to him

He doesnt mind tho

He thinks ur cute

Also lovng the attnstion

But the thing about not helping

Not really

And being distracted by a cutie pie

Is that it's basicaly a disaster ending to happen so like

he's efficiently stirring up so hot stuff right

And ur like "man jun's some hot stuff"

And then BaaaaM

U knock over the damn chopping board with the knife and everything on it

Thank goodness the thing didn't chop through your foot of anything

And jun is like "oHMYGOSH DA HELL R U OK"

"... i- im sorry i knocked over ur potatoes"

"My poTaToeS! Listen rn im glad u didnt chop ur foot off"

Jun sighs and looks at the cubes of taters scattered on the floor

You frown, feeling useless

Both of u pick up ur mess

Jun puts down the kitchen utensils in hand

u picked up the last of the potatoes

"Hey we could always wash those, it's not like the floor is mud or anything, even then , potates came from mud"

"Yeah but im sorry, i wanst really helping in the first place"

Jun smirks, "nonsense! U were feeding my ego! That's enough for me!"

You snort and jun comforts u with a tight embrace

Hoshi

AlrighT fam

I thought of something pretty cute but pretty dumb for hoshi

He's like "imma do something super romantic for Christmas"

So he's like "wear something cute we gon do smth fun" @ u

So u do

U get a cute little red dress just for the occasion

And soonyoung his like "BRO MY GIRL SO SUPER CUTE"

And ur like a blushing mess cause he looks super excited with his big smile and cresent eyss

ahhh Hhh myHOSishiii fealzssmsmmsms

Anyway u think ur gonna go to some cute restaurant right

But hoshi brings u to the mall

To instead join the couples dancing contest

Soonyoung gets super nervouse at ur surprised reaction

He's like, "omg is this a super bad idea i thought it would be cute but like i guess not we dont have to go we could always just drop out"

You laugh and shake ur head, "no it's all good, but i mean like, we don't have a choregraphy, and im not like you who can just break it down."

Soonyoung lets out a breath and chuckles, "nah don't worry. It's not really a compation-competion, and regardless, they're going to show ius a choreo and the couple that best interprets wins a a romantic date for two, fit for a dancing king and queen"

And then u break into a big uwu

"Omg u are super romantic soonyoung"

He struts a pose and chuckles, "i mean, i try"

So you both participate in the contenst

Kinda zumba it out by folling the instructors

Soonyoung is helping you out with your form and explaining to you the steps

He gets a little competative so he doesn't really want to mess us

Up hearing you giggle when you do a s pin breaks his competative spirit

And all he really cares about is having a good time with you

Aleight

But admitedly

He was pretty annoyed when they annouced the winner

Were not the two off you

i mean you lot were the cutest it can gt

Who else could trump that

But then you both saw that the winners were 80 something yesr olds holding hand and looking at each other like the other was their world

and then soonyoung was like "okay valid"

You pout, "aww i hope we end up like that"

Soonyound and you turn to each other

He grins for ear to ear, "then lets go on a romantic date as well"

"I thought you'd never ask"

Wonwoo

LiNda

I hope you're ready for wonwoo 

Because i sure as hell am not 

So in case youre wondering 

Youre crazy I mean youre reading this arent you 

Prolly at midnight hi fam 

Again i dont make the rules 

Well just a btw Almost every 

Christmas tradition is pagan 

Like the tree 

The wreath 

And SANTA IS SO CREEPY YALL NEED TO GET UR CHILDREN AWAY FROM HIM 

SO MAYbe ur not all that crazy 

For not wanting to continue them on 

i mean sure u can give new meaning to things 

But you wanted none of that

 Which was whyyyy you decided to DIY the decorations to your entire house 

Nnd who else are you going to do that with other than your loving bb boyfriend wonwoo 

Wonwoo doesn't mind 

He thinks its cute 

Because it is a cute date idea 

Youtube tutorials 

Pinterest ideas and paper snowflakes and all 

Yeah 

so wonwoo is there cutting up some of the paper you folded 

You're glueing some popsicle sticks 

He's water coloring some designs in 

Youre pulling on the tape dispenser 

It's all going great 

"Jagiya... i don't want to sound mean but-"

 "They're all ugly as hell. I know Wonwoo." 

Wonwoo gives an apologetic look. 

For a moment u two dont speak 

And then you both brust into laughter 

"Aww whatever, lez stick em on!" 

And do you get your badly painted slowflakes 

Your wolf drawing 

"That's a wolf?" 

"Duh what else would it be wonwoo?" 

The letters that spelled merry chrsitmas 

And the doodle cutouts of the seventeen members 

in personalized ugly sweaters 

And placed them all over the place 

You look around basking in the glory of ur craft 

Its all very colorful 

And crafty 

And looking like a child made it 

Then like an imbecile 

U break into laughter 

"It looks like a kindergartener's classroom" 

U end up roasting yourself 

Making fun of your sloppy handwork 

And wonwoo watches u 

with adoring eyes

 "I almost forgot," wonwoo speaks up and pulls out a piece of paper 

You recive it from him and break into a smile 

"Is this us?" 

Wonwoo snorts, "no its jeonghan hyung in a dress holding my hand sweetheart"

For a moment u believe him

But then he breaks out into laughter

Woozi

Boi imma fite u

Christmas carols

Okay idek why i ended up so serious with wonwoo

But listennup

Im not about to maypke it crackier

so back to christmas carols

Dis boi is about to serande you with a christmas themed love song

So its around 8pm at night

Jihoon has is guitar

and ur just chilling right

and ur on ur phone letting him do his thing

but then from the floor he was sat on

he turns to you on the couch

And pats ur leg

"Yo i just finished my song u wann hesr"

You squeak and jump of the couch next to him

"Duh dummy!"

And he starts singing

He's talking about stars and warmth

He's spittin fire about the smell of hot choco

The  he's talking sbout how lame joshua's gingerbread house was

Next thing you know ur  crying

because omg that ginger bread houseWAS UGLY

also jihoooooooooooooon just serenaded you

Dont u just

Then jihoon catches you and panicks

"You okay? Why are you cryin?!"

"HowDARS YOU ASK ME THAT LISTEN UP U JUST SAID SOME SWEET WORDS TAKE RESPONSIBILITY!!!!!!!"

JIHOON CALms down

But u crybaby cant stop crying

and of course jihoon panicks again

So he starts singing some other Christmas song

And then u start crying about poor rudolf

And remember regina george

But then eventually you calm down

And decide to nuzzle up against jihoon who replaced his guitar with you in his arms

Then us fall asleep with him sweetly singing about the spirit of Christmas

DK

 Liz gittit

Of course this ray of light just wants to give off energy to the world 

And since he 

And u u forgetful ass 

Forgot to go shopping for presents 

You decided to go on a dec 24th shopping trip! 

Hurrah! 

But it was too eady for u two 

Like wtf 

Gift giving Is suuch and easy task 

And shoping a day before Christmas 

pshhhhhhh 

Its a heartbeat

 "Whoever gets the best gifts gets for the best price gets to boss the other around until new year," seokmin grins 

You knit your brows deeply at his words 

And wonder what the hell he has in plan for him to think of doing something so ensnaring 

So being the smarter one in the relationship 

"Uh no??" 

Seokmin was like "ok then the other has to do whatever the other says for the entirety of Christmas" 

"???? Whyyyyy?" 

"Because its not challengeing or fun if there isn't any condition" "Ugh fine" 

So the two of you zip around looking for the best gifts you could get 

You try to stay away from the people doing their last minute shopping 

Seokmin doesnt dare go in between an old lady mouthing of another customer 

Tbh its super stressful 

wtf 

what kind of date is this 

Only morons would do this wtf 

Both of you got shoved constantly 

There wasnt really much space to move around 

And there wasnt really anything to choose from 

But hey guess what 

Seokmin found some really cool gifts 

"Daheck did u get that shirt?" 

"Isle five. There were a bunch of people grabbing some stuff and this fell to the ground and so i picked it up and thought it was pretty cool"

You on the other hand got like ok gifts 

I mean theyre not bad

 But da hell did dk get a frikin eeyore onesie idek 

It was no contest.  

Seokmin defo won 

"Yisss so i win therefor u have to make me some Christmas cookies tomorrow" 

"U ho did u really just make me suffer through that so you could ask me to make cookies 4 u???" 

"Yes but we really didn have gifts tho." 

U roll ur eyes 

Seokmin's face falls, "r... r u like mad @ me?" 

"Uhhhhhhhhhh" 

You knit your brows at him but release a smile when u see his nervous look 

"No babo. Im jusy tired, lezgo back home" 

He sighs and nods, kissing your cheeks 

"Dont worry baby, ill carry all of this back home" 

Which he does 

And when u get back 

He says he forgot something in the car

then comes bzck 

And then forcefully turns u around 

Ur about to protest

But the you realize he's putting on a silver necklace on u 

"Yahhhh seokminie, u shouldnt have. Where you even get this"

"I bought it a while back, duh" he chuckles then kisses you on the cheek 

"Merry christmas jagi" 

Mingyu  

You are a genius for getting boyfriend like mingyu 

uh and super lucky like fu-- 

BUT TODAY 

Ur extra glad that mingyu is 10ft tall 

Because ur going to be decorating your very own tree 

Wow 

You bought he prettiest glass ornamnets

 and the sparkliest streamers 

"I have a vision," u explain 

Mingyu nods in understanding 

U and him lift the tree into the living room 

And then u start decorating the tree from the bottom up 

Its all rly chill

 You lot are chatting about whatever 

He's tellling you about ur tour n stuff 

U put on some Christmas tunes for flare 

And then u stand up from the floor and boogey with each other 

Yall shake ur butts 

and go around the tree wrapping it in tinself 

Mingyu steals one of the ornaments from u

 and u try to take it back from him like the genius u are 

Except hes holding it over his head 

N u cant for the life of u reach his hand up there 

So u step on his foot 

And punch his stomach 

And he bends down in reaction 

In pain

Soz

He was asking for it

U steal the decor back 

Then he proceeds to chase u around because aparently ur the bully 

*instert pikachu meme here* 

N then u get back towork 

Or i mean take a break 

And u eat a bunch of holiday special junk 

And then u get back to work 

"ok nows for the star" 

U hand him the star because its the entire point of his existance

getting that star up ther 

with his longass arms 

He turns to u "u dont wanna put it" 

BOI 

u suck in a breath 

"I cant frIKICN REACH IT U LIL" 

He give a face, "there are ways" 

"My go-- just put the AHHHHHHH"

AND THEN THE NEXT THING U KNOW

 Hes crouching down pulling ur legs on his shoulders 

"MINGYU PUT ME DOWN" you say, about to rip of his face 

Mostly because u have nothi to hold onto

but he stands 

with u on his shoulders

and walks to the tree 

"Put the damn thing on before u fall!!" 

Wow its ur fault again

And screaming u put the star on 

And mingyu putz u down 

"Okay that was stressful" 

U punch him in the gut again 

The8  

Minghao is super tired 

But super looking forward to spending time with u 

So u defintely go on a date 

But its of the lazy movie watch variety

Im talking all the chesey romance movies 

Set in december 

that has like mistletoe kisses 

And snow scenes 

And also those holiday specials

 For catroons 

And non cartoons 

Even the one with arnold swartzimacallit 

You pull out the laptop 

And get on netflix 

There's popcorn on 

And hot tea 

Or whatever the hell 

Its all just very warm 

and u and minghao are wrapped together in a warm blanket 

Ur nestled in between is legs and ur super warm and cozy and im so soft bleh 

"Oh oh, u should see this part, its my fav--" 

But u stop uourself when u turn and see minghao fell asleep

 U coo and let him obvi 

taking unflattering pictures duh 

But also cute ones because 

#couplegoals 

He doesn't sleep through all the movies though 

You end up watching non christmas themed films too 

Like toy story4 

OKAY I CRIED AT THE ENDING 

PIXAR IS REALLY COMING FOR MY WIG 

"You look really cute cuddled up against me" he'll randomly blurt 

U feel ur cheeks brun at that 

but no he cant have that 

"I thought i was always cute" 

He chuckles and groans as he hugs u tightly 

U laugh at his reaction 

"Of course you're always cute" 

"Ok but the teddy bear u got me is actually cuter" 

"Nononono, the teddy is cute but uuu are cuter" 

"Were u always this gross?" 

Seungkwan 

Okay 

before u tell me these are getting worse and worse every passing member 

i would first like to say i know 

and  that seungkwan bought u a cute dress for Christmas 

and took u to a fancy restaurant 

Ok ur welcome 

But like even if it werent fancy 

U'd still like it 

cause holy guacamole 

imagine holding seungkwans hand as u walk around

Jsut being so head over heels

and super in love with the cutie

Groooossss 

LinDA 

The feeling is mutual for him when he's around u 

so he stops mid conversations 

just to take ur pic 

Its kinda annoyig 

but kinda cute 

"Hey unknow hansol told me about-- what are u doing"

 "No go on, im just talking ur picture"

 Literally the bst hype man alive 

Will make take dozen upon dozen photos of u 

And will make u pose for aethetics 

He will go on making sure everyone knows u da hottest ho in the place 

n ur like "seungkwan stfu u embarrassssing meee" 

And then oml  

Some moron tries to hit on u 

and seungkwan sqwares up ready to hit a fool 

would he actually do it i mean 

Like 

prolly Not 

but then again he looked really mad 

So u calm him down 

and u go bzck home 

And the cuddles 

"Baby girl im sorry if i embarrassed u"

 "Nah itz chill i mean i know u have good intentions"

U smile and he takes another candid phto of u

"Broooooo!!"

 "Im donnnr. Now hows about we get rid of that dress" 

Vernon  

okay im willing to guess hansol loves drinking hot chocolate in the winter

So he's like 

"Lets do a hot choco review" 

And buys 897 types of hot choco 

Or like ten 

wtf eight hundres pluss is too much 

So ur like okay i like hot choco 

and then he pulls out his phone and does a vlive 

"No i am not jealous of joshua hyungs vlive with his gf" 

Yall make like ten cups of hot choco 

and is chaotic 

Idek how u could get injured 

But hey 

It wasnt even the hot water invovled 

but the wrapping of the choco powder 

"Technical difficulties hansol is a big moron" 

U get him a bandaid

"Ya! I am not" 

Yall start reviewing anyway 

*insert try guys eugenes voice* 

Im rihght

 Ur wong 

Shut up 

After trying the first onw 

Ur like wow dis is good 

the second was even better 

The third one u hold

then u realized there were eight more cups 

And that u made so

much 

so u were like "omf there is too much "

then u debated whether or not calling seventeen to drink the rest 

But then hansol was like "ther isnt enough for themm"

Then ur like 

"okay whatabout making a super hotchoco" 

n vernon was like 

???? 

"THATS THE BEST IDEA UVE EVVER HAD" 

SO YALL GET A BIGASS POT 

MIX THE REST IN 

REALIZE U HAVENT RATED THE other cups

 Shrug it off 

and get a cup of the hot choco mix 

"Tastes like corn" 

"Bish dafaq" 

Dino 

Yikes 

so 

Chan is a dumb ho 

and got himself sick at Christmas so 

nononoono thats a no to any cute date ideas 

and its just you and him staying at home 

U personally dont mind 

but hes like "awww but i had so many ideas"

 but obvi U cant risk him getting any sicker than he already is 

So you stay home and take care of him 

and all he can do is complain about everything 

about the cold 

his runny nose 

The lack of taste of the food

 His head ache 

The fact his bed is hot 

And that fact that u have to take care of him 

And treat him like a baby 

"I am not a baby" 

"Listen up, u are always gonna be my baby" 

"Not u toooooo najsjsjjs" 

You make him some hot cocoa 

And hes like "im not drinking that if u call me baby again" 

"Babybabybabybabybaby" 

Ugghgg "If you keep doing that im not going to give u the gift i gotchu" 

"Well das on u" 

And then u end up going ona glaring contest 

Chan ends up giving it to u anyway 

"i hope u choke on it" he grumbles with insencerity 

U coo when u see that its a handwritten letter 

And then u end up crying because hes super soft

N ur super soft

And gahhh u love him so much

 Chan pats ur back because he doesnt want to get u sick if he hugs u  

U sniffle and wipe ur eyes 

"Who's the baby now, cry baby" 

You snarl and pinch his side 

And now i say

This was probably hecking bzd but i hope u enjoyed 

merry CHRISTMAS 

ITS MY FABORITE HOLiDAY 

TAKE CARE Of urselves mwaah

Support me on ko-fi

[bontens-new-executive]

it’s your favorite bitch back again ☝🏻 i’m going into mf detail today.

TIMMY

— even though he’s 122883% nicer than you, i think that would balance you both out. plus, you’re mean with reason for the most part yk

— you like driving & i 42/10 can see late night drives with both of you bc yeah. i think the fuck yeah.

— you would be a pretty couple idec. like you just fit each other’s aesthetic and yeah. yeah.

— favorite ship ngl ✋🏻

SANZU

— mf do i even need to explain. in the scenario that you go crazy go stoopid bc i know you wanna, he and you would fucking DOMINATE in this bitch idc idc

— you’d just “i wanna murder someone right about now” and hed “aight let’s go 🤪”

— hot murder couple 47/10.

DALLAS

— like sanzu

— you’re both bitches but in a comforting way. you have those mfs you keep close and aint nobody gonna fuck with them (except you)

— YALL WOULD ALSO BE A FINE AS FUCK COUPLE IDEC

right around here i’m getting lazy — but yk. you and timmy is like my top, but i feel like you fit most of your crushes mf <3 like fr

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NO BC TIMMY LITERSALLY IM NOT OKAY ILY MAN THIS IS. IM. gr.

NO BC I LOVE TIMMY SO MUCH MAN AND URE SO RIGHT. BESIDES I HED BE THE ONLY PERSON IM NICE TO MAN I LOVE HIM. I WANNA DRIVE AROUND WITH HIM SO BAD MAN OMFL

NO BC SANZU IS SO FINE FOR THAT. WE COULD JUST GO ON A MURDER SPREE WITH HIM AND IT WOULD BE SUCH A VIBE. U G H

AND MF DALLAS. BRO HES SO FINE LITERALLY. NO BC WE COULD BULLY KIDS TOGETHER MAN. BRO HES SO FINE AND JUST SO ADORABLE.

[james-is-nasqueer]

is anyone else worried about Incredibles 2? Mr. Incredible has to "babysit” the kids and half the plot basis seems to be that he can’t take care of his own kids (and it’s not just a superbaby being a superbaby, I think I can understand that, but haLF THE FREAKING TRAILER IS ABOUT MR INCREDIBLE WATCHING HIS OWN KIDS? ISN’T THAT NORMAL? W H A T).

Violet had a bad day, Dash needs help on his homework, Mr. Incredible is going to try his best and then he’s going to be rewarded as “such a great dad for trying so hard!1!!” like uh no this is the basics dude you’re a f a t h e r. 

don’t get me wrong, I’m super excited for Mrs. Incredible n all, being badass like hELL YEAH, but I’m really hoping it doesn’t turn into “oh good job Mr. Incredible, being a decent dad!1!!!1!!11!!!!!!!!!!! also yay badass Mrs. Incredible!” 

I’m crossing my fingers for Incredibles 2 

[favorite thing from the trailer has to be “mATH IS MATH. WHY WOULD THEY CHANGE MATH” omfl relataaaaaaaaaable] 

[hcneylesbian-archive]

What is cgl/why is it bad?

well basically it’s this kink/lifestyle where people take on the roles of a ‘daddy dom/mommy’ and a ‘little’ (essentially, a young child). this can be sexual or non-sexual but it is technically a part of the bdsm community. these people will often use child-like things in this relationship, such as toys, bottles, pacifiers, bedtime stories, etc. often times the ‘little’ will talk and act like a child.

so basically what gets into dangerous territory are a few things that i’ll try to break down simply. let’s take that last bit i said, the ‘little’ often acts like a child. whether or not this is sexual (but especially if it is), psychologically, the people in this couple will begin to associate seeing a child doing these things with their ‘lifestyle.’ i think it’s pretty clear why that could be dangerous, but, in essence, this can cause either one but especially the ‘daddy’ to get horny or think abt their s/o whenever they’re around children which is pretty…creepy? overall terrible? pedophilia? yeah, so, not good.

let’s just think about this. this isn’t jokingly calling your favorite celebrity ‘daddy.’ this is people who are fetishizing the relationships that parents have with their children. personally, i believe these people need to ask themselves why they can’t have a good relationship without such a thing. it just comes back to the creep factor tbh. so it’s pretty much promoting incest, pedophilia, and child rape all in one. this is particularly offensive to people that were assaulted as children, if you think about it.

this also can end up harming minors because with this mindset, it’s easier for them to be tricked into getting into a relationship with someone much older, since it may just be played off as a ‘caregiver’ and such. so i don’t believe that these littles need to be fought and stuff, but rather that they need to be helped out of that situation.

another problem is there is a phenomenon regarding normalizing abuse in these relationships, what with the spanking and punishments that a child would receive. obviously it’s a pretty well known thing that spanking can be a sexual thing, which is fine, if it’s separated from this. but as per usual the ddlg community took it, associated it with kids, and made it sexual. and the really really bad thing is the daddy dom, if they’d like, can choose to manipulate these littles bc they’ll just play it off as being naive and all and they wouldn’t ever question their daddy spanking them extra hard one day, or spanking them for no reason, or being just a tad too rough. so i just fear for these people that no matter the amount of trust that they have with their ‘daddy’, they can and may take advantage of the ‘young’ mind. the one that supposedly doesn’t know any better.

another thing that just annoys me to no end is the constant need of permission, and that can pass abusive boundaries as well. even just learning about healthy vs unhealthy vs abusive relationships this year in school, i was thinking ‘wow that’s a little bit Bad’ when i thought of these relationships. the little may have a set of ‘rules’ (dont get me started omfl there should be a power balance in every single relationship) and so having to ask ‘daddy’ permission for things is so annoying. and one should never have to ask permission if it comes to visiting family/other people, appointments, going out, etc. there’s no shame in asking a s/o to go with you places or to help you plan an appointment, but never should you ever feel as though you need to be permitted to do these things.

also, it’s generally offensive, especially to people that genuinely need a caregiver, and from what i’ve seen, people that have speech impediments. if you pretend to talk like a child (stuttering, ‘wuv’, etc.), it’s pretty ableistic. in other just little ways, it’s just annoying to see these things pop up in tags like ‘pastel’ or ‘kitten’ on tumblr. i wanna look at some damn cats not your kink, please and thank you. and also when it comes to stim videos (like ones with slime, etc) those are often created to help mentally ill people, and the people who support this kink for some reason…think they have ownership? like it’s not out there to help ppl?

ok so i had a friend that was really into this and i questioned it for a while at first bc obviously she had her ‘ships’ and liked to apply it to them (and herself and that’s a whole other story but i won’t get into that bc it’s more personal), but just hearing how she would talk abt it and act it out was pretty yikes. and just generally annoying. do you know how exhausting it is to wanna just hang out with your friend like a normal kid and ending up feeling like you have to take care of them?? it’s not normal! but after a while i just said ‘eh ppl can like what they like.’ but still every time i hung out with my family it became weird to see baby cousins with pacifiers and stuff and that pissed me off!! it shouldn’t feel weird and inherently sexualized!! now i myself luckily was never ever into it so i never thought of it that way, but it popped up in my brain since it was so prevalent with my friend. not long ago i was released from this friendship (which was kinda controlling) so i finally felt free to…dislike this? and i realized in turn just how creepy it actually is? and so i’m glad bc now at least i don’t have to think abt this disgusting behavior when im playing with my baby cousins.

i am a minor and i dont want to feel like there are predators and pedophiles out there that get off to the idea of young kids! no one should! even if i myself am not a young kid i have a huge family so i have lots of younger cousins and such and the fact that people sexualize and fetishize this stuff makes me rlly sick and rlly angry!! i don’t want to feel like i should have to be so defensive of them but i am bc of this, bc there are sickos out there that are being validated by this.

a few disclaimers: obviously, not everyone in the ddlg community is probably aware enough to realize that they are, in fact, being very creepy in this, and that’s mostly just the minors who have heard about it and think it’s a really nice thing. i don’t blame them. they just need to be taught, and helped. i do blame the ‘consenting adults’ for condoning this behavior, however. also, there are people that age regress from what i understand for completely different reasons, and i don’t know much about that, but i believe it is not harmful so long as it is not related to this.

ok so anyways in case this gets into any of the tags pls don’t interact with me about this if you are an adult!! that would make me very uncomfortable and if i see that i’ll block you. also, anon hate isn’t really gonna hurt me, and i wish the world were kinder so there’s no need to send it anyways!

and as always the thing i believe very much and hold close to my heart is that you can always watch disney movies and cuddle with your significant other without roleplaying as a three year old.

edit: ahh I realize a bit where I was very problematic!! it is very okay if you are in the mind of a three year old or a younger age and cuddling with a s/o!! there is absolutely no shame in that and I realize that now, I apologize. it still stands that no one should sexualize that but don't feel bad for age regressing!! again I apologize for saying that!!

[list-me-the-reasons-why]

Drank an espresso after being awake almost three days hdhdjdheidndhfbdbdb time to sleep

Also I want to go get a massage so bad 😭 i need to take someone with me so im not alone omfl no ones hours match up with mine