#nearly finished my third replay now and going to start over again immediately. because what the heck. every full watch counts right?

[greymantledlady]

The little scene after hell on the rooftop is underrated actually! The way Charles glances at him and smiles is soo... not flirtatious exactly but idk. he has just found out that Edwin, who he thinks is the best person in the world, loves him. And I think it makes Charles really happy, knowing that Edwin is in love with him, even if Charles himself is still figuring out his own feelings. It's like that incredulous feeling of 'holy shit what did I ever do to make this incredible person fall in love with me?', and that's why he glances away almost shyly and looks like he can't stop himself from smiling to himself.

And he's SO quick to tell Edwin it didn't make things uncomfortable/awkward/whatever Edwin was planning to say, like he actually cuts off Edwin's words! Like he's saying he's the opposite of uncomfortable with it, and he looks so pleased and happy and a little shy and yes, in love in that moment. I think he loves that Edwin is in love with him (which in time he'll realise is a good indication that he loves Edwin back). ❤️

[jombocostello]

(Bruno, Abbacchio, Doppio, Gyro) Oneshots

Hi!! My sister is in the hospital right now and she's a massive Jojo fan, so I'm hoping to ask for some either fics or headcanons for the characters abbachio, gyro, Bruno, and doppio? I think I've spelt those right. Thank you!

Yes of course!! I really hope she’s doing alright, and I hope you are too!!

Bruno

It's late in the evening when Bruno gets home after a long day of work. When he unlocks the door, you jump up from your seat in the kitchen and meet him at the doorway. "Hi, Bruno," you say, helping him remove his long coat and walking with him into the house. "How was your day?"

"Well..." He furrows his brow. "It was alright. Busy, but alright. Giorno has been growing exponentially; I have a feeling he may take my position sometime soon."

"Really?" As you hang up Bruno's coat, you turn to look at him. "He's that good?"

"He's a natural leader. I'd be glad to be replaced by him." With a sigh, Bruno takes a seat at the kitchen table. "Could you make some tea, (Y/N)?"

"Sure." As you fill up the kettle, you watch Bruno rest his cheek against his hand. "Why are you so tired?"

He breathes a little laugh and looks down at the table. "Work has been getting harder. The job's aren't too taxing, not at all, but I just get worried sometimes."

You walk over to the table and pull out a chair. You take a seat and place your hand over Bruno's, resting it against his cheek. "It's not me, is it?" you ask softly, frowning. "I've told you - you don't have to worry about me."

"I - " he starts, but his voice falters. "I can't help it," he says, smiling a little bitterly. "I never wanted to involve you in my life. It'll always be too dangerous for you, and I love you far too much to want you in trouble."

"I'm not scared enough of them to leave you, Bruno," you whisper, leaning in and ghosting your lips over his. "I'd follow you to the ends of the Earth."

You feel him smile against your lips, and he kisses you with everything he has. "Then I'll take you there," he replies breathlessly, hand leaving his face to rest on your hip. He rests his forehead against yours and looks deep into your eyes. "Everywhere I go we'll go together. I love you, and I want to be with you always."

"Bruno, I - " You grin, and he smiles widely as well. You run your fingers through his short black hair and sigh, shutting your eyes. "I love you so - "

The whistle of the tea kettle surprises both of you, and you jump before bursting into peals of laughter. Bruno laughs with you, and you're happy to see such a lighthearted look on his face. "I'll get that," you say between giggles, and you slowly pull your hands back and stand up.

Once the tea is made, you and Bruno sit down together on the couch in your quaint living room. You flip on the television and start browsing the channels; once you find a particularly sweet old movie, you set down the remote and take a sip of your tea. Bruno watches you silently; there's a quiet beauty in everything you do, and it's intoxicating to him.

The two of you finish your tea, and as the movie winds to a close, you rest your head on Bruno's shoulder. The warmth of his body and the soft sound of his breath lulls you to sleep.

Bruno looks down at you, careful not to disturb you as he tilts his head. There's a peaceful smile on your face even in slumber, and he leans down and presses a sweet kiss to the crown of your head. "I love you," he whispers, and he hopes you can feel how much he means it. He'd do truly anything for you.

-----

Abbacchio

"So? Do you want to go or not?"

You find yourself standing before your teammate Leone Abbacchio, and you're utterly stunned. He's just asked you on a date - tonight - and he's waiting rather impatiently for your answer. "Well..." you start, the confusion in your voice clear. "Sure."

"Good. I'll pick you up at eight." He stares you down for one more moment and then turns on his heel, walking out the door of the Libeccio.

You're left completely blindsided by what just happened. Abbacchio - the irritable, displeased, and all around negative member of your team - just asked you out to dinner. You would be lying if you said you weren't excited (you've always found him handsome and a bit intriguing), but you're mostly just shocked. He's never expressed that kind of interest in you before.

You head back to your place and start to get ready. As you're getting dressed, you replay Abbacchio's little proposal from earlier. He had seemed almost annoyed about the whole affair - had someone put him up to it? You huff out a laugh as you throw on your shoes; Abbacchio wouldn't take any bet that forfeits his pride. Once you're all ready, you head outside and watch for Abbacchio.

Perfectly on time, he drives up to the curb in a sleek car. "Hey," he calls loudly through the window. You wave and hop in, buckling your seatbelt as he drives away.

The ride is mostly silent. You glance over at Abbacchio as he drives, but he doesn't tear his gaze away from the road. Though you're not speaking, there isn't an uncomfortable moment, and you're honestly excited for this date.

The restaurant is one of the nicer places in the area. "Have you been here before?" you ask Abbacchio as he gets out of the car. "I've never been, but I've heard it's great."

"It's alright," he replies, his voice low. "I've only been here twice."

"You know what they say," you say with a little grin, "third time's the charm!"

Abbacchio actually smiles at that, holding back a little laugh, and you consider that a great victory. You follow him into the restaurant, and you're taken to a beautifully lit table near the back of the room.

Before you can sit, Abbacchio casually pulls your chair out for you. It's the most nonchalant act of chivalry you think you've ever seen, and you thank him before taking a seat.

You're both quiet for a while before the server arrives and gets your drink orders. Finally, Abbacchio speaks. "You look nice tonight," he comments matter-of-factly. You smile and thank him, and he just nods his head.

"You look nice too," you say, and you mean it completely. Honestly, he always looks nice. His long silver hair is always perfectly maintained, and tonight he's wearing a black dress shirt and pressed black pants. He looks great.

"Thanks." A little more silence transpires, but your server arrives to break up the tension. After placing your order, you lean back in your chair and gaze at Abbacchio. You're not really sure of what to say, so you figure you should just speak what's on your mind.

"So what was the reason for this date?" you ask, grinning when Abbacchio blinks in mild surprise. "Anything in particular?"

He recovers and shrugs. "I've always found you interesting." You weren't expecting to hear that. You watch him with raised eyebrows as he speaks. "I wanted to get to know you better, because I honestly like you a lot. Is that alright?"

It takes you a couple seconds to actually register the question. "Is that - yeah! Yeah, of course - that's why we're here right now." You smile warmly at him from across the table, and he returns the gesture as well as he can.

"I'm glad." The two of you chat for a while before the food arrives, and then you chat some more. You're honestly so engrossed in your conversation that you hardly eat.

When the check arrives, Abbacchio picks it up and sighs. "Unfortunate that tonight had to end so soon," he mutters, signing the bill. "I had a great time, (Y/N). Would you want to do this again sometime?"

"Yes!" Your answer is immediate, and Abbacchio nearly laughs at how happy you sound. "Yeah, that would be amazing. I had a wonderful time too."

You head outside, and as you get into the passenger's seat, Abbacchio gently places his hand on your leg. "Thank you for this," he says, as genuine as he's ever been to you. "I hope we can get to know each other better."

You smile, feeling utterly content, and you lean over and give Abbacchio a quick kiss on the cheek. His face goes red, but his smile doesn't waver. "I would really love that, (Y/N)."

And together, you both drive into the night.

-----

Doppio

The sun shines down brightly on you as you hop out of a little car, quickly adjusting your shirt before running around to the driver's side. "We're here!" the driver calls, and you grin as Vinegar Doppio opens the door and joins you outside.

"I heard it wasn't too crowded - it's the best-kept secret in Italy." You laugh at that and follow Doppio down the street a bit. "I'm so glad you were free today, (Y/N)!" he says brightly, leaning over and pressing a quick kiss to your cheek. "I missed you."

You giggle, reaching down and lacing your fingers in his. "I missed you too. It's been lonely with you away for work."

"Let's not talk about that - we're together now, so who cares?" You laugh and nod in agreement as Doppio pulls you over to the little ice cream place you're visiting, and like he said, the line is nearly empty. "See, I told you! Hardly anyone even knows this place exists."

As you both step into line, the other man in line turns around and glances at you. He has bright blue hair - which actually looks a bit like ice cream - and red glasses. He stares at Doppio and it seems like he's about to speak, but before he can, an ice cream cone is handed his way.

He grabs it and shuffles off, and you and Doppio move up to order your ice cream. "I'll have strawberry, please!" Doppio says, voice as pleasant as ever, and you watch the way he smiles as he speaks. You've been dating him for a while now, and you really adore him. He's so easygoing, and he makes even the most mundane things fun.

You get your favorite flavor, and after a short wait, your ice cream is prepared. You take Doppio's free hand again and walk with him to the park across from the shop, swinging your hands back and forth. "We're so lucky," he comments as he takes a seat on a bench overlooking the grassy field. "It's such a nice day!"

"The weather decided to smile down on us today," you say, grinning as you sit beside him. The two of you eat your ice cream in relative silence - the only sound shared between the two of you is Doppio loudly slurping on his cone and your soft laughter in response. It really feels amazing, just being able to comfortably spend time with someone you love so much.

After a while, you've both eaten your ice cream, and now you find yourselves looking out at the grassy plain. "I love you," Doppio says softly from beside you. You turn to him, eyes wide, and he just gives you a content, relaxed smile. "You're perfect, (Y/N)."

You grin, reaching over and wrapping your arms around him. "I love you too," you murmur, and Doppio briefly presses his lips to the top of your head. "Thank you for today," you sigh, and Doppio just hums in response. He reaches down and wraps your hand up in his - the feeling is so warm and familiar and you fall even deeper in love. You two spend a long time like that, wrapped up in each other's arms in front of the beautiful field, until you find yourself nodding off to sleep.

-----

Gyro

"Where the hell did you even learn how to ride a horse?"

You roll your eyes at the question your companion Gyro just shouted at you from a few feet away. "You're so prim and proper, I never would've expected you to know how to ride."

"When I was a kid," you call back, and you're grateful when Gyro rides a little closer to you, allowing you to lower your voice. "I lived on a big, rural plot of land and I would just go out and teach myself."

"Huh." Gyro reaches up and adjusts his hat; the wind had displaced it somewhat. "You're pretty good. Not as good as me, of course, but not bad at all."

You scoff, reaching over and slugging Gyro in the arm. He reels back, shocked, and you burst out laughing. "You're quite the critic, asshole," you shoot at him between giggles. He just watches you, and you're surprised to see that he doesn't look all that annoyed. "Well anyways," you say as your laughter fades away, "when do you think we should stop?"

"I don't know. Let's ask Johnny." Gyro twists his body around and absolutely bellows, "JOHNNY!"

A few paces behind, Johnny Joestar throws a little rock at Gyro, who dodges it easily. He seems even more sick of your talkative companion than you are. "How should I know?" he shouts back. "The sun is just about set - let's just camp here."

"Fine!" Gyro calls back, and he quickly hops off of his horse. You follow suit, and after a minute Johnny catches up to you two and does the same. You help Johnny lean against a large, somewhat comfortable rock, and then you get to tying up the horses.

Gyro pulls some kindling out of the bag attached to his horse's saddle, and he starts a fire with only a little difficulty. Once all the horses are tied up and fed, you sink to the ground and yawn. "What, the Steel Ball Race getting to be too much for you?" Gyro teases, and you laugh at his shit-eating grin.

"No, I'm fine. Just kind of tired."

"So am I," Johnny says, nodding. "I think I'm gonna get to sleep early, if you guys don't mind."

"Not at all!" you say. You toss him a blanket, also from Gyro's bag, and he gratefully takes it and wraps himself up.

"Just don't be too loud, Gyro," he mutters before shutting his eyes. Gyro blinks, affronted, and you huff out a laugh. "Goodnight." It doesn't take Johnny long to doze off, snoring softly.

"Well..." Gyro starts, and to your surprise he's actually trying to be courteous to Johnny. He's normally extremely brash, and he doesn't usually care much about the requests of you or Johnny. "Want some coffee?"

"Yeah, that would be great." You watch as Gyro grabs the kettle and grounds, and he carefully fills the kettle with water from his canteen.

Silence fills the area as the coffee slowly brews. You watch Gyro out of the corner of your eye, studying the way he looks as he gazes into the fire. Ever since you teamed up with him in this race, you've gotten to know quite a lot about him. He's much less secretive than Johnny, and you know practically everything about him - where he's from, who he was before he arrived to the US, even his real name.

Suddenly, you're caught staring. Gyro's gaze flits to meet yours, and he grins as you quickly avert your eyes. "I know I'm handsome, (Y/N), I don't blame you," he says, grinning widely as you grimace.

You just sigh, leaning back and looking up at the cloudless night sky. Gyro's expression softens and he watches you. "You seem a little melancholy today," he says gently. "Anything on your mind?"

"Yeah." You turn to him, folding your hands in your lap. "Do you think we'll even be able to get through this? I have no idea what's even going on half the time." It's true; ever since you gained a stand ability from possessing one of the holy corpse parts, you've witnessed some of the weirdest, most inexplicable events you've ever seen.

"Of course we will," Gyro responds. He sounds completely sure of himself. "Not only will we beat the race, but we'll come in first place! Well, I will - you can have second, and Johnny can be third."

You laugh, letting your head fall back. "Thanks, Gyro. I hope Johnny won't mind." Gyro suddenly remembers the coffee, and he carefully pours out two cups.

"Don't burn yourself," he says as he hands you your cup. Your hands brush against his as you take the drink, and for some reason you feel yourself flush. Thankfully, Gyro doesn't seem to notice your quick change in demeanor. "This stuff really is horrible, but at least it's different," he comments, taking a sip. "The coffee back home was far too sweet."

He's right; it's extremely bitter, and you find yourself wincing at the taste. Still, you're grateful for the warmth, so you drink it slowly. "Thank you," you say, and Gyro just nods in response.

"You look nice like this." Your eyes widen and you look up at Gyro, who's studying you with a serious look on his face. "I like seeing you relaxed for once."

You smile a little, nodding. "Thank you. Yeah, it's nice to finally get a break." Gyro watches as you sip your coffee. "Hopefully we won't be bothered by any dinosaurs tonight - shit!"

You tip your cup a little too far and spill scalding coffee on your hand. You grit your teeth and gingerly set the cup down, leaning forward to inspect your hand. It doesn't look too hurt, but it stings like a bitch. "Are you okay?" Gyro says, reaching out and gently taking your hand into his. You nod.

He reaches over into his bag and takes out a little strip of cloth. Carefully, he starts to wrap up the little burn on your hand. One loop brushes against the wound uncomfortably, and you hiss through your teeth at the burning sensation. "Shit!" Gyro says, looking up at you with wide eyes. "Did I hurt you?"

"No," you say quickly, shaking your head. "No, it's fine. It just stings, is all."

It only takes a couple more minutes for Gyro to be done fixing up your hand. Once he's done, he pats the top of your hand and smiles. "You're alright," he says gently.

"Thanks, Gyro," you say, and you really do mean it. You don't think you've ever seen him like this: quiet and sweet. You start to bring your hand back, but Gyro doesn't let go. You look up at him with furrowed brows.

He looks into your eyes for a moment, and all he finds is mild confusion. Then, he leans down and brushes his lips against your knuckles. "You're welcome," he breathes into your hand, and he lets go.

Heat instantly rushes to your face, and you quickly turn away. "Yeah," you mutter, not sure of what else to say, and you fix your eyes on a fascinating cactus a few feet away. You hear Gyro laugh softly, and you flush even more. You'd never even entertained the thought that he could be so suave.

A few minutes go by in this heavy, powerful silence, until Gyro finally speaks. "That should be fine in a couple days," he says, and you turn to him. "It's odd, but I've gotten the same exact burns off of these things." He pats the steel balls that rest in the holsters on his hips. "They can generate quite a lot of heat."

"Oh." Gyro smiles at you and leans back, resting his hands behind his head. "Well, thanks again. I'm not usually that clumsy."

Gyro's eyebrows shoot up at that, and he grins at you. "Oh, really? Then how do you explain the two loaves of bread that you dropped off your horse a couple days ago?" You blink, surprised, and Gyro's grin only grows. "And when you led your horse - and Johnny and I - down a dead-end pathway for a whole hour?" You start to smile, laughing, and Gyro leans towards you with bright eyes. "You're a total klutz, (Y/N)!"

You both dissolve into laughter, completely taken by the moment, and it takes a long time for you to compose yourself. "Oh man," you giggle, wiping a tear from your eye. "You really got me, asshole."

"I know." Once you've both gotten ahold of yourselves, you find yourself looking into Gyro's eyes with the remnants of a smile on your face. You've always known he was handsome, but something about the dim firelight makes him look like a Roman statue - perfectly sculpted, but real and tangible before you. "(Y/N), you're staring again."

You blink, startled, and Gyro laughs at the shock in your expression. "It's fine, I don't mind." He smiles as he reaches out and brushes a bit of sand off of your shoulder. "Gives me the perfect opportunity to appreciate your beauty up close."

You laugh shortly, and Gyro takes your hands in his. "I'm not kidding. You really are lovely." The laughter dies in your throat, and you look up at Gyro with wide eyes. "We should get some sleep, it's getting late," he whispers, his face mere inches away from yours. Before you can reply, he leans in even closer and presses a quick, fleeting kiss to your lips. "Goodnight."

He turns away and tilts his hat down over his face before you can get a word in - though even if you could, you don't know what you'd say. You're left totally starstruck by Gyro, and all you can really do is lean back and shut your eyes. You grin, resting your head on your small backpack, and sleep quickly catches up to you. You have no clue what tomorrow brings - Gyro's just proven himself to be a man of surprises.

[dramaqueeenamby]

𝐑𝐞𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐬 ♦︎ 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝐷𝑎𝑟𝑘𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔

Summary: He’d searched for centuries to find the sun summoner. What he never expected was for someone to uncover the sun within him. In which the darkling finds himself on a journey with a powerful Grisha who may just uncover the humanity trapped within.

A/N: I am terrible with updating regularly, but here is the second part! If you're actually interested in this hodgepodge of a story, I've updated six parts/chapters on ArchiveOFOurOwn.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my OC and the non-canon parts.

Words: 2.8K // Pairings: The Darkling x OC // Warnings: None, yet.

Functions weren’t Milena’s thing. To be honest, any type of public outing ranked on the not so pleasurable side of the scale. And it wasn’t due to introversion or shyness but rather discomfort and unease for other reasons. As someone who’d spent their entire life moving from place to place and keeping their head down as to avoid garnering attention, being the subject of a setting created unease.

So, when Milena learned that the Grisha were holding a somewhat “party” in the Little Palace and she was expected to attend, she was less than pleased. For one, people. For two, Zoya. They hadn’t exactly hit it off upon their first meeting. In fact, the only hitting occurred when Zoya sent Milena flying into a stack of logs in what was supposed to be a hand-to-hand combat training session.

Milena, of course, returned the favor, despite the scolding she received from Botkin

Third, she just….didn’t want to.

Too many people had already asked her too many questions. Questions about her power, her parents, where she’d been, was she the sun summoner. It was just all too much, hence her sneaking away to find solace in the palace gardens.

Everyone seemed eager to be at the party, so it was a safe place of solitude and silence.

Some of her favorite things.

“I believe the banquet is inside, is it not?”

Naturally, Milena jumped and had her arms up, ready to attack, only to be met with the smug expression of General Kirigan.

She relaxed, slightly, enough to lower her arms. Milena bowed her head and mustered a low, “sir.”

He clasped his hands behind his back. “You didn’t answer my question.”

Be respectful. Milena didn’t know if it was the fact that she hadn’t made the best first impression or his frustration with her lack of progress in their training, but she sensed the edge in his voice. After all, he seemed convinced that she was afraid of something, which was hindering her growth.

Whatever.

Regardless, it didn’t escape her how he seemed to take pleasure in toying with her, or maybe being a prick was just something he enjoyed having as a defining trait. Whatever the case, it was getting old. Real old.

“I prefer being alone,” was all she said, eager, though not hopeful, that he would understand the underlying meaning. Leave me be.

“Is that so?”

“Yes,” she answered, confidently, looking at him head on. Gone were the days of staring at the ground. She refused to do that any longer. “And as this is your palace, shouldn’t you be at your own banquet?”

He smiled, and Milena nearly doubled back. For as long as she’d known him, the only two emotions and expressions she’d known him to emote were irritation and anger. Perhaps, maybe, amusement, but even that was cleverly hidden behind narrowed eyes and closed lips. And now, the bastard was smiling?

“Fair enough.” She wasn’t expecting that. What exactly she was expecting, she didn’t know, but she knew it wasn’t that. “May I?”

He gestured to the seat near the fountain where she stood. Hesitantly, she nodded, watching him take a seat. Milena decided to occupy herself, searching the garden beds for a petal or something else that could be taken without issue.

“How are you adjusting to life in the Little Palace?”

She couldn’t help the snort that left her mouth at that question. Milena considered lying. Would it be disrespectful to tell him that she contemplated running away at least once a week?

“Well, aside from Zoya trying to kill me, Baghra hating me, and being gawked at like some object by everyone else, I must say, it has been quite the adventure.” Rolling her eyes, she looked over at him to see that he was no longer smiling, the familiar scowl returning.

“You do not have to worry about Zoya anymore.”

Milena spun around, eyes widening. “Is she…”

“Taking time off to reevaluate her priorities,” he finished. Milena wanted to know more but she decided not to push. “And pay Baghra no mind, she cares for few—”

“I didn’t know she could care.” He looked at her, prompting Milena to drop her gaze and apologize. “Sorry.”

He said nothing, skipping to his next question. “Is your room satisfactory?”

At that, her eyebrow quipped. Out of everything, having such luxurious rooming accommodations ranked at the top of her list of reasons to stay. “Well, I’ve never had warming stones put in my bed before, so that’s been a nice change.” She located a three-leaf clover, twisting it in her hands as she leaned back against the stone edging so that she was facing him. “It’s nice having Genya. She doesn’t gawk or probe. I like that.”

“I thought you preferred being alone.”

“I do,” she affirmed, sighing and shaking her head. “I’ve-I’ve always been alone. It’s...it’s all I know.”

Why she was saying that, to him of all people, she hadn’t a clue. In fact, Milena suddenly realized just how strange the nature of this conversation was. Never had he inquired about sentiments toward trivial manners such as her enjoyment, or lack thereof, of her time at the palace. And now, she was divulging beyond surface level feelings.

Milena opened her mouth to change the subject when she realized that he was no longer sitting down but standing up just a few mere inches away. “You are Grisha, Milena.” A beat. “You are not alone.”

She swallowed. Milena didn’t know what to say to that. Did she believe him? Not necessarily. Having gifts in common with others did not equate undying loyalty. She’d never been able to trust and depend on anyone, so how could he expect his mere words to reverse a lifetime of trauma?

Milena relaxed ever so slightly when he moved back, turning to leave. Without thinking, she called after him, prompting him to turn around.

“Why are you training me?” She didn’t intend to ask him anything else, especially since he was leaving her to her much desired solitude. And yet, the sight of him walking away irked her to a certain degree. For what reason, she hadn’t a clue. “You don’t train anyone else.”

“You are not like anyone else.”

She scoffed and looked away. “So, I’ve been told.”

He studied her. “Tell me, are you so anxious to be like everybody else?”

She laughed bitterly. “It would be nice to know how that feels someday...general.”

He continued to examine her, as if he was trying to figure something out. Figure her out. “Well, that day is not today.”

“Nor will it be any other day,” she chucked sadly, turning back around to stare at her reflection in the pond. Milena frowned. Another day of seeing a stranger.

Eyes falling to the side, she made out the General’s reflection. He was now beside her. “What do you see?”

She sighed, fingers dancing in the water, creating waves of ripples. “Someone’s reflection of me.”

“Or perhaps the real you is finally emerging.”

She turned to look at him, discovering that he was already staring at her. Suddenly, self-conscious, she turned away with an awkward smile. “If this is the real me, why do you push me so much?”

His answer surprised her. “Because I can see it. You can’t.”

“Are you familiar with disappointment?”

“In all my years, I’ve never seen a Grisha who can do what you can.” He informed, honestly, and again, Milena suspected no subterfuge. He was being genuine. “You are special, Milena, but it will mean nothing if you don’t stop holding back.”

“You keep saying that, but I’m n—”

“What happened to your parents?”

Her mouth dried and stomach immediately knotted. What reason did he have to go there or to even ask what he already knew? Again, she was reminded how awful the Black General could be.

“You kno—”

“Tell me.”

She pursued her lips as her jaw clenched. “They were killed. Betrayed by friends who found out they were Grisha. Burned alive.”

His gaze was so intense, she should have looked away, but she didn’t. She maintained eye contact.

“And you’ve been hiding ever since, hiding who you are, hiding what you can do—”

“So I could stay alive—”

“So what is your reason now, Ms. Belarus?”

At that, her stomach settled, and defensiveness waned. He had her there.

His words replayed in her mind for the rest of the evening, even as she laid in bed, unable to sleep, her mind a vast bat of conflicting feelings.

She never considered that she was holding back. She was able to utilize all three of her gifts, so how could she be holding back? Then she thought, really thought about what not only the General had been telling her, but Baghra said as well.

And gradually, it started coming to her. The quickness in which she put out the flames, she way she would rush and hide when using her squaller abilities, the terror that filled her being when she sped up or stopped someone’s heart.

She lived in a constant state of anxious panic, fear that she would meet the same fate of her parents.

“Who are you holding back for?”

“My parents,” she whispered, grasping at her eyes, wetness pooling at her fingertips.

Frustrated, she sat up, pulling her legs to her chest. This wasn’t how she expected to spend her night, encountering and swallowing hard truths that she’d managed to dodge up until now. The reason she continued to doubt herself was because she feared the same judgment and persecution as her parents. Even more, there was a difference between choosing to be alone because of feared rejection, and solitude out of necessity. Along the way, those two ends had meshed, and she’d lost where the truth lied.

Up until now.

Wiping at her eyes, Milena kicked the blankets off her body and swung her legs around so that they dangled off the side of her bed. Gripping the edge of the mattress, she stared at the ground, taking a slow, deep breath before standing up. Milena walked toward the door, grabbing a silver robe along the way. She loosely tied it so that her white nightgown with the low neck was somewhat concealed, though not completely.

Where she was going, she knew not, she just allowed her feet to do the thinking for her, which may or may not have worked in her favor. She found herself outside of the General’s room, but instead of like most in the palace, his door was open and he was awake. She looked in and saw that he was standing by the war table, back toward her.

Milena could have sworn she was quiet enough to avoid detection, but he still turned around. Milena realized that he was also in his robe, stark black. Of course. He looked surprised, but not annoyed, by her presence.

“Milena.”

She straightened and laid her hand on the door, swallowing. “I’m sorry. I—am I disturbing you?”

Yes.

“Not at all.” He unfolded his arms. “Can’t sleep?” With a small smile, she shook her head and gradually started to enter his room, halfway expecting him to stop her. “Come in.”

She paused momentarily, waiting for him to change his mind, but once again, he didn’t. Instead, he reached for a small glass of what she supposed was wine and offered it to her. “Here.”

She accepted the drink, bringing it to her mouth to sniff for any unfamiliar or strange scents. She found none and took a sip, eyes falling over to the table while his attention remained on her. Milena quietly cleared her throat and gestured to the pawns. “Is this map current?”

“It is.” He followed her line of vision to see the makeup of the map only to look back at her again. “Our enemies are threatened by your mere existence.”

Milena looked away, a small sense of guilt eating at her. He was referring to her discovery. In the midst of moving from one town to another after noticing strange looks of the townsfolk, the saints were clearly not on her side as she unknowingly walked into the middle of a battle between the Second Army and the drüskelle. Initially, her plan was to lay low and avoid being killed, but she quickly realized that was not an option. She was forced to use her power, all three variations, rendering the fjerdans and the grisha nearly speechless. For the fjerdans who survived, they returned with tales of her, her abilities, and for the grisha, she was suddenly a new recruit. It was all so unexpected and sudden, and Milena often felt as though everything was happening far too quickly.

He continued. “There is talk of uprising in the West.” He began to inch away from her, nearing a poster of Zlatan, the First Army General. “Led by our….esteemed First Army General.”

Milena noticed a sudden chill in the room as patches of light became obscured by growing shadows. Confused, she quickly realized they were General Kirigan’s doing. “Our own people, turning their backs on us.”

Milena saw the anger brimming, the way he stared with quiet hate at the poster, the table, the whole thing. Unconsciously, she moved toward him. “General--”

“I have been fighting this war….alone....for so long.” With each pained statement, Milena found herself moving closer toward him as the darkness continued to fill the room. This was more than anger. It was grief. “I have buried so many good soldiers…..friends.”

She placed her glass down and realized she was merely inches away from him. Milena ignored the urge to touch him. She’d never seen him this vulnerable, his ardent anger on full display in a simmering manner which made him appear even more dangerous. Loud anger was palpable, but quiet rage was unpredictable.

“The coffers are running dry, the noose….tightens, and our own people are turning against grisha just as their kin once did.”

Milena was unsure of what to do in that moment. The room was completely dark, save for specks of light that entered through the bottom of the door. His words cut through her life a knife. For the first time, she realized just how much of a heavy weight this man carried. And she sympathized with him. Greatly.

Reacting on pure instinct rather than protocol or logic and repressing her reluctance, she placed her hand on his wrist, tugging slightly. He angled his body toward her, allowing Milena to grab both of his wrists. She looked up at him, quieting the voices in the back of her head that told her her conduct was out of line. Focusing, she detected his erratic heartbeat and worked to calm him, speaking when she realized he was relaxing.

“You are not alone,” she echoed his words from only a few hours prior. This time, Milena studied him, observing how his eyes burned into her with a plethora of emotions: confusion, irritation, peace. Gradually, the shadows receded, and the light returned.

In more than one way.

The Darkling suddenly dropped her hands. She prepared to move back, accepting whatever disciplinary action he thought necessary. Not only had she initiated contact, but she’d used her powers on him without permission. That had to be grounds for some type of punishment.

But instead, she quietly gasped when he brought his right hand to her face, his hands so large that it encompassed nearly the entire right side of her face. She almost flinched, his touch was so cold. Kirigan tugged her closer. She was tempted to lay her hands on his chest.

“I’ve never…” He seemed at a loss for words, something she found astonishing for someone who always radiated such avid confidence. Milena found herself focusing on his mouth, only to realize he was staring at hers as well. “I have been waiting a long time for you.”

Milena hadn’t a clue what to say or even how and if she could or should respond to such a thing. What exactly did he mean? From what she’d learned, the Darkling had always been in search of a Sun Summoner. She was no Sun Summoner. She was simply a grisha with above average gifts, hardly a saint. So, what exactly was the reason behind his quiet confession?

Unsure and now uncomfortable, Milena forced herself to pull away. She could not ignore the drop in her stomach when she moved so that he was so no longer cupping her face. “I should go.”

He opened his mouth to say something, prompting Milena to turn away and amble out of his room. Though the door was open when she arrived, she closed it, leaning against it as she caught her breath. She swallowed and thought about what happened, face warm and heartbeat unsteady, even if she didn’t understand it.

Milena felt overwhelmed with emotions. She’d oscillated through so many feelings in less than 24 hours. She was exhausted and only remained outside his door for a few moments before she wisely hurried away back to her room, unaware that he was also on the other side of the door, also struggling to understand what had just occurred.

[babi-correia]

Officer Down

From Anon #1:

Would you be able to write a really angsty story with adam ruzek x reader and they are both members of intelligence and they have a fight in the locker rooms and it affects their work, and then reader gets injured or something and at med it’s just fluff? thanks, i love your writing!

And Anon #2:

Could you do number 13 and 20 with adam ruzek x reader? preferably reader is the one who gets hurt, i live for angst lol! thank you 13- “Don’t die on me, please.”  20- “You’re the only thing that makes me smile.”

I thought these really fit in together!

Words: 2109 (...ops?) Warnings: Canon-typical violence, gunshots, injured reader, cursing, blood... angst, I guess, be prepared for anything Pairing: Adam Ruzek x Reader A/N: I’m still working on my angst-writting skills, but I hope you guys like it!

“Adam, this is ridiculous.” You snap once you walk into the locker, not caring if someone else hears you. He, on the other hand, quickly shushes you as he scopes the room for prodding ears and closes the door. “See what I mean!”

“You know how Voight is about dating within the unit.” He says, going back to his locker. You throw your hands in the air.

“For God’s sake, Adam!” You can hear the desperation in your tone, and it makes you cringe. “We’ve met each other’s family; everyone knows we’re dating except the unit.”

“And it will stay that way.” He says sternly, making his way out of the locker room and leaving you there alone.

Your blood feels like it’s burning with anger inside your veins and you slam the locker door shut, barely controlling yourself before you step outside and into the bullpen.

The white board stares at you mockingly, the case displayed having been there for over two days. Child abduction, where four kids had gone missing and two had come up dead by the river. The whole police force was on overdrive trying to catch the perpetrator, but no one was making any progress whatsoever.

“Third kid came up by the river.” Voight says curtly, updating the board. “And I don’t see any progress on the case!”

He places a pin on the map, in the place where the kid was found, and you approach it, tapping your finger on it as you recognize the area.

“I have a CI that lives and hangs out in that area.” You mutter. “He’s from my time in Narcotics. I’ll pay him a visit and see if he saw anything.”

“Alone?” Adam asks, prompting a glare from you. Typically, you would take someone with you, but today it would just be adding fuel to the fire.

“Yep.” You say, patting your pocket, checking for your keys before you trot down the stairs and into your car.

You make the drive there while thinking back to your relationship troubles, nearly running a red light shortly before you reach your destination.

You park under a tree, turning off your car and calling your CI. He picks up at the second ring and you instruct him to meet you at your car, which he promptly does. He closes the door after he enters, eyeing you warily.

“It’s been a while.” He remarks, fiddling with his hands.

“This area of town has been quiet. Until that kid came up, that is.” You say calmly before turning to him. “You don’t happen to know anything, do you?”

“I, erm… I heard something about a black car not from around here.”

“What do you mean ‘not from around’?” You ask, picking up your notebook and your pen.

“Out of state. It was orange and black, I think.” He says, scratching his head.

“New York?” You ask, pulling up a picture of a New York plate on your phone and showing him. He nods. “You remember the plate?”

“I think it had a GO something in the letters, and two fives in a row.” He says, tapping his fingers on his legs. “It was a lady driver, I’m sure of that. And I’m almost certain there was a rental sticker on the back window.”

“So, you’re saying that it was a woman, and that she rented a car in New York, and then came all the way to Chicago?” You say, scribbling down on your note pad.

“That’s what I saw.” He says. You nod and slip him a couple of bills, prompting him to leave the car.

You begin to make your way back to the precinct when you notice a shiny black car with a huge container trailer parked on an abandoned lot and slow your car until you stop at the end of the street. You grab the portable radio and hook it up to your jacket, checking your gun and holstering it before you grab the car’s radio.

“Main, this is 50-21 Ocean requesting immediate back-up at the abandoned lot by the river in South Lock Street, sighting of a suspect’s vehicle, a black sedan with New York plates, RTO-9554. Plain-clothed officer on scene making initial approach and assessment of the perimeter.” You say into the radio, unbuckling your seatbelt and getting out of the car.

You turn your radio’s volume to the minimum, but Adam’s voice is still perfectly audible through it.

“(Y/N), what the hell are you doing?! Wait for back-up!” He hisses through the radio, making you roll your eyes.

“Focus on getting here, Ruzek.” You say coldly, your hand resting on your holster as you inch towards the abandoned lot. The area is open, no trees or buildings for you to hide behind, so you just hope for the best as you get closer. You hear the sirens in the distance and curse out before picking your radio up again. “50-21 Ida, George, David, Adam, and all assisting officers, kill the sirens and the lights. The area is exposed and all we have for us is the element of surprise.”

But it’s too late. The cars are already on the side street when they kill the sirens, and it was enough to get the woman’s attention, as she exits the container with something in hand. You quickly draw your gun, but it’s not quick enough. You hear the bang and feel something hitting hard against your chest as you fall backwards.

Everything grows numb for a moment, the sounds drown out and you feel yourself falling to the floor, but can’t really find it in you to care about it. The numbness subsides partially and you regain your hearing, being able to hear a lot of shouting not too far from you. You feel your shirt sticking to your chest and start feeling a white-hot pain that knocks the wind out of you. Next thing you know, you’re struggling to breathe.

“(Y/N)! (Y/N), can you hear me?” You barely hear Adam’s voice over the noise of your own blood rushing through your ears. Adam’s at your side, on his knees and looking at you with a frazzled expression. “Don’t die on me, please!”

You look down at his hands and see that they’re covered in blood; in your blood. Panic sets in and you look at him with wide and scared eyes.

“I don’t want to die.” You rasp out desperately, holding Adam’s forearm as he tries to stop the bleeding. You can see the tears in his eyes and feel your own streaming down your face as you cough. One of his bloody hands shoots to his radio before he speaks.

“Main, this is 50-21 Ida again, officer down! Where’s my fucking ambulance!?” He shouts, his hand trembling when he lets go of the radio. He gets a vague reply from Main and focuses on trying to stop your bleeding as you feel yourself growing colder and weaker.

“Adam…” You say, meekly putting your hand on his arm. He looks at you, fear, sadness and despair evident in his face. “I love you, never forget that.”

He stifles a sob as one of his hands leaves your chest to cup your face, wiping out a tear.

“I love you too, but don’t die on me, c’mon (Y/N). I know you can do this.” He mutters, pressing a kiss to your forehead before he turns his attention back to stopping your bleeding. You hear footsteps rushing towards you and see the rest of the unit looking between you and the three different streets next to where you are.

You can hear the sirens in the distance, but you’re fighting a loosing battle against your eyelids. You rest your hands atop Adam’s, making him look towards you.

“You know… I always wanted to die for something.” You rasp, watching him shake his head and shushing you. “You being here makes it better. I always feared dying alone.”

“(Y/N), you’re not dying.” This time the sob comes out loud and clear, and it breaks your heart. “You’re not, you’re not leaving me, not yet, c’mon.”

“Adam…”

“Don’t you dare. I know you love me, and I love you, but you’re not dying, you’re not leaving me here stranded and alone. You’re going to be fine. We’re going home and watching a crappy movie cramped up in that small couch of yours, but we’re not going to actually watch the movie because you’re going to be making silly remarks and comebacks about the movie, and then you’ll tickle me because the movie is so bad that you can’t even watch it anymore. And then we’ll shut the TV off, and kiss and cuddle in the couch before we venture into the kitchen to cook dinner, and I’ll probably burn something no one thought it was possible to burn, and we’ll have to order something in and we’ll laugh about how much of a disaster I am before we go to bed and cuddle some more.”

Adam’s openly bawling when he finishes speaking, his tears mixing with your blood on top of his hands. You sob slightly before looking around at the members of Intelligence.

“There goes your plan of keeping everything secret.” You whisper, chuckling slightly before groaning in pain.

“That’s not important right now.” He says, his head snapping in the direction of the sirens. “The ambulance is almost here baby, hold on.”

“I love you, Adam.” You whisper, no longer able to keep your eyes open. Darkness consumes you as you vaguely hear Adam calling your name.

-

Adam finds himself in the apartment you’ve shared for the last two months. No one knew about it other than the two of you, and now Intelligence. Jay goes with Adam, urging him to take a shower and change into fresh clothes.

Adam just feels numb. He feels like his heart was ripped out and trampled in that street, left behind along with your blood. His emotions come back and hit him at once, making him collapse in the middle of the living room. His mind keeps taking him back and replaying the scared and sad look on your face as he saw life slowly draining from you. Jay kneels beside Adam and hugs him as Adam sobs.

“I can’t do this without her.” He manages to say, clinging to Jay as is his life depended on it. “I need her here with me.”

-

Adam nearly collapses when he sees you in the hospital room, your skin sickly ashy, more tubes than he wants to count connected to you, your eyes closed and your body unmoving.

What he would give for you to wake up right then and joke with him about how he was forced to out your relationship, or just hug him and say that you’re fine and that the two of you are going to be ok.

He gingerly sits in the chair by your bed, trying to rub away the stinging of his eyes from crying and grabbing your hand, gently tracing patterns.

Over the days, he talks to you a lot and refuses to leave your side. He’s pretty much memorized the timing of the beeping of the machines, so his ears perk up when one of them beeps out of time. He jolts forward and grabs your hand with his two.

“(Y/N), sweetheart, can you hear me?” He asks hopefully, sitting in the edge of his chair. He slumps when he gets no response. “Baby, you have no idea what I’d do just to have you come back to me. You’re my love, you’re my joy, my life, you’re the only thing that makes me smile. Please, please come back to me.”

“A girl has to almost die to get declarations like this?” He shoots up when he hears your voice, his eyes wide as they fixate on you. “You’re a huge teddy bear, you know?”

He launches forward and hugs you gingerly, hiding his face in your neck as he starts to openly cry.

“I love you so much, I’m sorry I’m an ass to you sometimes.” He whispers into your neck, sobbing. “I was so scared.”

You slowly wrap your arms around him and rub his back.

“I’m right here, babe. I’m not leaving you this early.” You say, making him pull away slightly before you speak again. You wipe his tears away with your thumbs, cupping his face. “I’m the only thing that makes you smile, right? So please do.”

He chuckles, tears brimming on his eyes before he brings his lips to yours and kisses you softly.

[blindlesbian]

A christmas buddie fic

This fic is for @fyeahbuddie​ for the 911 gift exchange. @officerrxyes​ Buck was in Eddie's kitchen baking festive cookies with Chris on Christmas Eve. He thought it would be the perfect way to wind down, but it ended up being harder than he imagined. Eddie accidentally added way more. Instead of twenty cookies, they were now baking forty. All three had spent the day out, hanging with friends and family. Unlike last year the 118 wasn't scheduled to work for the holiday, which everyone was thankful for. "How much longer is dad gonna be," Chris asked. Eddie was out buying more frosting because they'd run out. Chris was eager to finish decorating his cookies, and so was Buck. 

"Soon, don't worry." By the time the last batch of cookies finished baking, Eddie had arrived. "Hey guys, I got the stuff!" Chris squealed, "hurry, dad, I wanna decorate my snowman!"  After about an hour of eating and decorating, Chris was put to bed a little past his bedtime. Buck was still in the kitchen, washing dishes because they didn't clean up while they worked. "Buck, thanks for doing this tonight," Eddie said, leaning against the door frame. "Yeah, of course, no problem. You know I love hanging out with Chris." Eddie walked over to the sink, "let me help you out." Buck sat down at the kitchen table with a tired sigh after they finished, "next time, let's not bake cookies from scratch. It's more stressful than rescuing people from burning buildings ." He joked, and Eddie chuckled. He loved making Eddie laugh. "Do you want a drink?" Eddie asked, pulling out a bottle of wine from the cabinet. "Yes, please," Buck said. Eddie handed him a full glass, and they walked over to the couch. "I'm glad we have these two days off. Last year was a bit of a bummer," Buck stated. "You did an amazing job with the surprise Christmas dinner last year. It was super sweet." Eddie said. Buck blushed, "it was nothing." They were lying on their backs on Eddie's living room floor, Buck's head resting on Eddie's chest. Neither of them dared to move; they wanted to stay like this, however long it would last. Moments like this started happening more often, where they would hold each other or touch on another as if they were together. They kept talking and drinking and time flew by. By now, they were drunk and having conversations about their childhood Christmases. "I remember when I was a senior in high school, my parents forgot about Christmas for like, the third year in a row. They were too busy trying to sell the house," Buck said. "They were always too busy for Maddie and me. But always had time to go to some stupid work event."  Eddie ran his fingers through Buck's hair. He stayed quiet, trying to figure out the most comforting to say.Buck sighed, "I'm sorry; I'm treating you like a therapist." "No, you're not," Eddie said. "Yes, I am. You don't even care," Buck stated. Eddie held Buck's chin, gently turning his face so he could look at him. "No, don't say that. I care about what you have to say." There was a moment of silence, and they just stared into each other's eyes. "I want to make you feel safe and heard." Eddie realized he was still holding Buck's face, nearly caressing it. Eddie wanted to kiss him so badly, but they were drunk, and he had no idea how Buck felt. "Eddie," was all Buck could mutter. His heart raced, he hopped Eddie couldn't feel it. Buck was just drunk enough to lean in, just a little. He hoped Eddie got the hint, but his hand let go. "It's already late. Maybe we should get some sleep; we've got a busy day tomorrow." Eddie suggested. Buck's heart sank. "Yeah, you're right," Buck sighed and slowly sat up. Words couldn't explain how stupid he felt; he couldn't believe he thought Eddie would feel the same way. "Goodnight," Eddie said, quickly exiting the living room, leaving Buck with the stupid wine bottle and glasses. ---Eddie woke up the next morning feeling like an idiot. How could he just leave like that, Eddie wondered? Last night's memories were hitting him like a wave, the conversations, how close they were, how drunk they were, Buck's head on his chest. He let his mind wander, thinking about all the things he and Buck will never have together. His alarm went off, disrupting Eddie's thoughts. It was only six-thirty, and Chris wasn't going to be awake for another hour and a half. And Buck was still here, but he didn't want to face him. He didn't want to ruin the perfect memory of last night with reality. Eddie tested the waters with a "u up" text and immediately cringed. "Yea, wanna make breakfast together?" was what Buck sent back. Eddie grinned at the reader like a child. He skipped out of bed and quickly brushed his teeth. "Hey, Merry Christmas," Buck said. His beaming smile made Eddie's heart skip a beat. "Merry Christmas," Eddie said. He looked at the kitchen counter; it was already a mess." Why does my kitchen look like this," Eddie asked. "Because I was looking for bacon," Buck said. Eddie rubbed his temple, "I don't have any bacon." "Oh," Buck giggled, and Eddie couldn't help but laugh too. "Let's just make pancakes," Buck suggested. After putting everything back into the fridge, they began working. Buck knew he was the better cook between the two, and things would've gone a lot faster he did it himself, but he loved doing things with Eddie. "How come mine keeps ending up like that," Eddie asked. They were both standing over separate burners, cooking the pancake mix. "Because you're holding it wrong, lean the pan a bit," Buck instructed. "Like this," Eddie asked. He was still holding it wrong. Buck hesitated for a moment before walking behind Eddie and snaking his hand over Eddie's. "Like that," Eddie asked. "Yeah, like that, Buck assured.  Buck's chest was pressed against Eddie's back. It was just like the night; they didn't mention how close they were to each other; they just enjoyed it. They were on their last pancake. "Good job," was all that Buck could say. He didn't want to make it weird, but this whole situation was strange. He wanted to be with his best friend, who had a kid and was married a few years ago. Buck let go of his hand and walked back over to his burner.  —- It was New Year’s Eve, and Eddie was replaying those two days in his head over and over again, trying to figure what he did wrong. Buck had been distant for a week, only a few conversations at work. “See you guys tonight,” Bobby said as they exited the firehouse. “Captain Maddie and I can only be there for an hour. We don’t wanna be away from the baby for too long,” Chimney informed. “Yeah, Mia is the same way. So I’ll also be leaving early, Hen stated. “No worries, guys,” Bobby said. “But you two will be there all night right,” Bobby asked. “Yeah, you bet, Cap,” Buck said. “Yeah, Chris and I be there all night.  He’s going through a don’t tell me when to go to sleep phase,” Eddie said. They all chuckled, said their goodbyes, and entered their cars. —-Eddie arrived with Chris on time, and the party was already in full swing. Their coworkers, family, and friends were there. “Hey Eddie, hi Chris,” Athena greeted them at the door Harry by her side. “Do you wanna play video games in my room with Denny and me,” Harry asked. Chris turned to look at Eddie, “go ahead. Be safe.” Eddie said, and the boys went off. “What’s been going on between you and Buck,” Athena asked. “Nothing’s wrong, we’re fine,” Eddie lied. Athena raised her eyebrow, “you two are usually joined at the hip, but you came here alone.” “Wow, those detective skills are top-notch,” Eddie joked, but she didn’t laugh. “Buck has been on the phone with Bobby every day, asking him for advice about you. It’s interfering with my life, so please just apologize so I can sleep peacefully,” Athena said. “But that’s the thing. There wasn’t a fight; he just stopped talking to me. I don’t know why,” Eddie explains. “You don’t know why you’re best friend is upset,” Athena asked. Eddie thought about last week for the hundredth time. Did Buck have a problem with how close they were? Did he make him uncomfortable? “Maybe I do know why,” Eddie said. —- "Hey, there you are," Buck heard Eddie say. Eddie had been searching for Buck almost all night. He was sitting on a swing bench in the backyard of Athena and Bobby's house. Eddie stood a few feet away from him as if he was terrified to go near him. "Yeah, here I am," Buck muttered. There was so much Buck wanted to say but said nothing at all. "Can I sit next to you," Eddie asked. Buck nodded, and Eddie walked over and sat down. "Did I do something wrong," Eddie asked, breaking the silence. A look of confusion swiped Buck's face. "No, of course not," Buck said. "Then why are you telling Bobby that we're fighting," Eddie asked, a little annoyed. "I never told him we were fighting; I told him that I messed up our friendship," Buck said. Now Eddie was beyond annoyed, "why would you say that. How could you have ruined our friendship?" There was a long pause. Eddie was sick of the silence."Because... I have feelings for you," Buck confessed, "and we can't be friends if I like you. It's just too weird." He couldn't even look at Eddie while he said this. "Evan, look at me," Eddie begged softly, "please." Buck scanned Eddie's face trying to figure out what he would say next. Eddie's eyes were watery, but Buck couldn't tell if it was because of the cold wind or if he was upset. Eddie held Buck's face, and Buck nearly melted. "I have a feeling for you too," Eddie stated, his voice a little shaky. And just like that, Buck was crashing his lips onto Eddie's. Everything they've ever wanted to say to one another was spoken at that moment. Eddie's hand found their way to Buck's hair, and Buck was holding on to Eddie's waist for dear life. They heard the New Year’s countdown starting, and Eddie pulled away. “Maybe we should join everyone,” Eddie suggested. Buck groaned, “fine.” They shared one last kiss and walked back into the party. A new year, a fresh start to their relationship.

[zerochanges]

2020 Favorite Video Games

I don’t know if I am an outlier or if this is the same for everyone else but I really did not play a lot of games this year. 2020 was a very harsh year for all of us, especially for me for some personal reasons. So to get to the chase, I am just gonna say it left me not doing much in what little free time I did have, and I didn’t play much either. Usually I try to keep my lists for ‘favorite of the year’ to only titles released that year but since I played so little this year, screw it. I am gonna include any game I played this year regardless of release date.

Collection of SaGa

By far a flawed rerelease. It’s bare bones: there are no advance features you would usually expect out of these kinds of emulated rereleases like save states, fast forward, or rewind, and there was no real effort made to touch up almost 30 year old localizations that had to meet Nintendo of America’s then harsh standards. This really is just 3 roms slapped into a nice looking interface with an option to increase the game speed (which by the way you better use, the characters walk very slow in these old games). 

I am bit harsh here, but only because I thought the Romancing SaGa remasters and the upcoming SaGa Frontier remaster all looked like they got a great budget and a lot of love while this is just another Collection of Mana situation (moreso specifically talking about Seiken Densetsu 1/Final Fantasy Adventure/Adventures of Mana part of that collection). I would have loved to see Square Enix do a bit more for these older games. Or at least include the remakes. Seiken Densetsu 1 had two great remakes, both unused in Collection of Mana, and all three of these original SaGa titles have remakes that have never seen the light of day outside of Japan. How great would it have been to get the Wonderswan remake of SaGa 1, as well as the Nintendo DS remakes of Saga 2 and SaGa 3? 

But my gripes aside, these games are still fun as they ever were. Replaying SaGa 1 specifically during the holiday season really helped calm me down and made me feel at ease. It’s easy to forget but even in their Gameboy roots there are a lot of funky and weird experimental choices being made in these games. They aren’t your run-of-the-mil dragon quest (or considering the gameboy, maybe pokemon would be more apt) clones. 

Raging Loop

Perhaps my favorite game of the year, Raging Loop is one of the best visual novels I have ever played hands down. The level of creativity and splitting story paths that went into it is simply mind blowing. The basic premise is both a wonderful throwback to the old days of Chunsoft sound novels while still modern and somewhat reminiscent of both Higurashi and Danganronpa. Essentially you play as Haruaki, a poor slub that got lost in the mountains with no clue where to go until you stumble upon an old rural village with a strange history and even stranger superstitions. Before you know it there has been a murder and the Feast is now afoot.

The less said about Raging Loop the better, although I do want to say a lot about it one day if I ever can write a proper review of it. This is a gripping game that will take hold of you once you get into it though and never let go. I actually 100%-ed this and I very rarely do that. I got every ending, every bonus hidden ending, played the entire game twice to hear all the hidden details it purposely hides on your first play through, played all the bonus epilogue chapters, unlocked all the hidden voice actor interviews, collected all the art work, etc, etc. I was just obsessed with this game, it’s that damn good! And the main character is maybe the best troll in all of video games, god bless Haruaki. 

Root Double

From Takumi Nakazawa, long time contributor to Kotaro Uchikoshi’s work comes a game any fan of Zero Escape or Uchikoshi in general will probably enjoy. Root Double, like its name suggests is a visual novel with two different routes, hence Root Double. The first route stars Watase Kasasagi, the leader of an elite rescue team in the midst of their greatest crisis yet that could lead to nuclear devastation as they try to evacuate a nuclear research facility that has gone awry. 

The other route stars Natsuhiko Tenkawa, an everyday high schooler whose peaceful life is thrown into turmoil when he stumbles upon a terrorist plot to destroy the nuclear facility in the city and his attempts to stop them. Together the two separate plots weave into one and creates a really crazy ride. Part Chernobyl, part science fiction, any fan of the genre will easily enjoy it. And hey it’s kind of relevant to include on this list too since it just got a Switch port this year (I played it on steam though).  

Snack World

I was shocked upon starting Snack World as it is instantly incredibly charming, witty, and downright hilarious at times yet I heard almost zero people talk about it. EVER. This game is Dragon Quest levels of quirky though, and the localization is incredible. The game has such an oddball sense of humor that works really well with its presentation right down to the anime opening video that sings about the most bizarre things. Instead of the usual pump up song about the cool adventure ahead we get stuff like wanting to go out to a restaurant and eat pork chops. 

The self aware/fourth wall breaking humor is just enough to be really funny, but doesn't overstay its welcome and always makes it work right in the context of the dialogue. And finally, just everything; with the menus, the name of side quests and missions, and the character dialogue -- are all just so witty and full of quirky humor. This is one hell of a charming and funny game and addictive to boot.

Trials of Mana

Trials of Mana has gone from one of those legendary unlocalized games, to one of the first major breakthroughs in fan translation, to finally getting an official English release complete with a fully 3D remake. In a lot of ways from a western perspective this game has had an incredible journey. As for this remake itself, I really found myself having tons of fun with it. I loved the graphics, and the voice acting while a bit on the cheaper side almost kind of adds to the charm since both the graphics and acting really give it an old PS2 vibe. I know that is probably just more me being weird but yeah, I had to say it. 

I really hope Square Enix sticks to this style of remake more often, instead of just doing Final Fantasy VII Remakes that break the bank and involve extensive tweaking to both plot and game play. I’ll take smaller budget projects that play more like the original game any day personally. I wouldn’t mind if they also deliver a brand new Mana game all together in this engine either. 

Utawarerumono Trilogy

This year saw the release of the first entry in the series, Utawarerumono: Prelude to the Fallen--and thus finally after three years since the sequels Utawarerumono: Mask of Deception and Utawarerumono: Mask of Truth came out in 2017 the trilogy is now complete in English. I ended up binging through Prelude to the Fallen very fast shortly after it came out and immediately jumped on to the sequels. Perhaps the best part of 2020 was that I finally played all three of these fantastic games, and did so back-to-back-to-back. Playing the first Utawarerumono was an experience I will never forget, it was like visiting old friends again that I haven’t seen in ages, by and large thanks to the fact that I saw the anime adaption of the game when I was much younger, nearly a decade ago. Back then I would have never of dreamed that I would get to play the actual game and get the real experience. 

And it only got better from here, as all three games are such wonderful experiences from start to finish. The stories are all so deep, and by the time you get to the third entry, Mask of Truth, it’s crazy to see how they all connected over so many years and weaved together into a plot much bigger than they ever were. What carries it beyond all that though has to be the fun and addicting strategy role playing game aspect, which while a bit on the easy side, is still so much fun and helps make the game feel better paced since you get to play the conquests your characters go on and not just read about all the battles they fight. Beyond that the games are packed full of awesome characters, and I know I’ll never forget the amazing leads in all of them. Hakuowlo, Haku, and Oshtor will all go down as some of the greats to me. 

Ys: Memories of Celceta

Ys: Memories of Celceta is a full 3D remake of Ys IV, a rather infamous game in Falcom’s Ys series. Not to get bogged down too much into the history of Falcom but by this point they were facing a lot of hardship and had to outsource this entry to other developers, and thus passed it on to two particular developers they had a business relationship with, creating two unique versions of Ys IV. Tonkin House who had worked on Super Famicom port of Ys III with Falcom ended up creating their own YS IV entry, Mask of the Sun for the very same system, where Hudson soft who had produced the much beloved Ys Books I & II remakes for the Turbografix (PC Engine) CD add-on created their own Ys IV entry Dawn of Ys for that console. Both games followed guidelines and ideas outlined from Falcom themselves but both radically diverged from each other and turned into completely different games. 

Falcom finally putting an end to this debate on which version of Ys IV you should play have gone and created their own definitive Ys IV in 2012 for the Playstation Vita. I played the 2020 remastered version of this remake on my PS4. I even bought this on the Vita when it first came out but I am horrible and only horde games, never play them. So it was a lot of fun to finally play this. 

Memories of Celceta is probably one of the best starting points for anyone looking to get into Ys, especially if you only want to stay with the 3D titles as out of all the 3D entries this explains the most about the world and series protagonist Adol Christian. Beyond that it’s just another fantastic entry in a wonderful series that has a few good twists hidden behind it, especially for long time fans of the series. 

Random Video Game Console Stuff

Xbox Has Blue Dragon: I actually got an Xbox One this year for free from my brother. Because of that I started to play Blue Dragon again and there’s a lot I would love to say about this game. I don’t know if I am fully committed to replaying it all the way through however but I find myself putting in a couple hours every few days and enjoying myself again. Does anyone else remember Blue Dragon? I feel like it really missed its audience and had it come out nowadays and probably for the Switch it would have really resonated with the Dragon Quest fandom a lot more instead of being thrown out to die on Xbox and constantly compared to Final Fantasy VII and the like which it had nothing at all similar with. 

The Turbografx 16 Mini: This was probably one of the best mini consoles that have come out and I feel like thanks to the whole 2020 pandemic thing it was largely forgotten about. That’s a shame, it has a wonderful variety of great games, especially if you count the Japanese ones (god I wish I could play the Japanese version of Snatcher included), and a wonderful interface with fantastic music. One of these days I would really like to be able to play around with the console more seriously than I have already. 

Fire Emblem Shadow Dragon Never Existed: So Nintendo localized the first ever Fire Emblem game on Nintendo Switch which is awesome to see them touching Famicom games again--I haven’t seen Nintendo of America rerelease old Famicom titles since Mysterious Murasame Castle on the 3DS, but their trailer hilariously made it seem like this is the first time ever they released Fire Emblem when in fact they had already localized the remake Shadow Dragon on the Nintendo DS nearly 10 or 11 years ago. I and many other fans I talked to all found this really hilarious, probably solely because of how much they kept repeating the fact that this is the first time you will ever be able to experience Marth’s story.

All that aside though I have to say the collector edition for this newly localized Famicom game is probably the most gorgeous retro reproduction I have seen in a long time, and I really spent many many hours just staring at the all clear glass mock cartridge. I have found myself really obsessing over retro reproductions during 2020, and obtained quite a few this year. I really hope this trend continues to go on in 2021 as recreating classic console packaging and cartridges is a lot of fun. 

[elysianrey]

 let me take your coat (and this weight off your shoulders)

He first notices her after his Thursday afternoon therapy session with Dr. Raynor. 

His brain begins to automatically profile her as it does with most people he interacts with these days. Short. At least 5’3”. Petite frame. Shoulder length, brown hair. Soft features. Brown eyes. Mid 30s. Jittery legs. Twisting fingers.

Old habits die hard, he supposes. 

She’s sitting in the waiting area of the mental health facility, eyes briefly meeting as his footsteps fall past her chair on his way out of the office. 

She looks familiar. 

Her eyes echo the same sentiment of recognition, which causes an uneasy feeling to creep into the pit of his stomach. His fingers tighten around the small leather notebook in his jacket pocket. The moment is broken as he shifts his attention back to the polished flooring. 

His gloved hand pushes the door open, leaving the brunette woman alone. 

+

 He spends the evening rifling through the pages of his notebook. His mind shuffles through the faces like an old film roll. Then he hits replay after his initial check. 

 Again. 

 Again. 

 Again. 

 He combs his fingers through his hair as he leans against the wall of his apartment. He lets out a small sigh of relief. 

 No connections to her are in the book. 

 +

 It becomes a habit for him every Thursday.

 Leave Dr. Raynor’s office. Walk through the lobby. Make eye contact with the brunette woman, whom he still can’t seem to place. Consider acknowledging her with a grin. Decide against it. Look down at the ground. Leave the facility. 

 He realizes he’s capable of acting more- human? Normal? Like an actual functioning adult in the twenty-first century. Dr. Raynor kindly reminds him of it every session, and yet, the creeping feeling of self-doubt never fails to get the better of him. 

 Yesterday. 

 Today. 

 And probably tomorrow. 

 +

 She’s not in the waiting area the following Thursday. 

 His feet pick up their pace to exit the facility that day, seeing as he has no real reason to take his time. His chest twinges in disappointment, despite having no good reason to. He doesn’t even know her name. In fact, the only real thing he knows about her is that she meets with a therapist on Thursday afternoons. Like him. 

 Which meant she was working through some stuff. Like him. 

 As he approaches the door, his eyes focused on the ground, the force of a body slamming into him nearly knocks him on his ass. His hands instinctively rise to steady the person apparently in a rush today. Then his breath catches upon realizing who is standing between his outstretched arms. 

 Her eyes are red-rimmed, cheeks puffy, and when she lifts her head to apologize, she suddenly begins to aggressively wipe away the tears streaming down her cheeks. Embarrassment mixing with the despair she is clearly experiencing. 

 He stammers. “I—are you ok—?”

 Before he can finish his question, she pulls back and cuts him off. “I’m so sorry—I really have to—“ 

 She stumbles around him and disappears past the receptionist and down the hall without another word, leaving him feeling confused and concerned all at the same time. 

 +

 He spends the next week worrying about her. 

 It’s better than worrying about his own demons. 

 Strangely, it gives his brain a small sense of relief.

 +

 Dr. Raynor has to reschedule for Friday. 

 He leaves flowers at the receptionist desk and tells them they’re for the brunette woman who comes in at 3. 

 He hopes she gets them. 

 +

 She’s approaching him before he has the chance to register her appearance in the lobby. Her small, yet self-assured frame blocks his exit to the double doors. She’s speaking and he immediately picks up that she uses her hands to get her point across. 

 “Hi. I just want to apologize for what happened a couple weeks ago. I hope I didn’t cause too much damage to—,” her right hand does a sweeping motion across his chest. “Anyway... my name is Jane. Jane Foster.” The woman extends her hand, eyes finally meeting his directly. 

 She’s nervous. Hesitant. 

 He takes it in his gloved, vibranium hand and gives it a gentle shake. “James. And don’t worry about it.” She smiles and he returns the effort out of politeness. 

 She drops his hand and brushes a loose piece of hair behind her ear. “Well, it was nice to meet you James. I better head—“ She finishes her sentence by pointing in the opposite direction, toward the hallway of therapist offices. 

 He gives her a nod, stepping out of her way. Jane starts past him and before she can get too far, the words slip out of his mouth. 

 “Would you want to maybe grab a drink sometime?” James can’t help but inwardly cringe at the awkward bluntness in the question, however there’s no going back now. 

 Jane turns and bites down on her lower lip. “Yeah,” she replies. “Yeah that would be nice.”

 +

 James sits on his makeshift bed in his apartment living room, scrolling through the contacts on his phone list. Sam. Shuri. Dr. Raynor. Clint. His apartment manager. 

 And now Jane Foster. 

 Dr. Raynor wasn’t kidding when she chastised him for only having ten contacts. At least he had added one name to his list. 

 They were meeting tonight at 8 pm. She suggested a small, trendy downtown bar that had a bizarre name he couldn’t prounounce. He wonders if this date was going to be like all the others. 

 Fake. Stiff. Unbearable. 

 A small part of him tries to insist that Jane is different. Sure, he can’t logically reason how he knows this, yet he can’t shake the feeling she is different in some way to the other women he’s met since his return. 

 +

 He’s right. 

 She’s unlike anyone woman he’s ever met in the twenty-first century. 

 It’s not hard to get Jane talking about herself, and once he does, he spends nearly the rest of the evening listening to her talk about her work with space. 

 He learns she’s an astrophysicist and she’s in New York working at the Simons Foundation. She disappeared during The Blip too and now she’s trying to make up for the 5 years she lost. Jane’s passion for learning more about the universe captivates him. She shares some of the theories she has about other universes that may exist and he’s left in awe as she paints pictures into his mind of periwinkle planets, alien lifeforms, and methods of possibly meeting them. 

 She doesn’t get the chance to ask him many questions, which is a relief.

 Her laughter is light, the alcohol clearly easing the weight of the world that she wears like a prisoner around her shoulders. He doesn’t know what she was like before whatever shit got to her, but he enjoys seeing Jane this way. Carefree. 

 He asks if he can see her again. 

 She says yes. 

 +

 She texts him about an upcoming Celestial event. A telescope will allow you to see Saturn’s rings and moons all night if the sky is clear. 

 He buys a telescope and sets it up on the roof of his apartment building and spends hours watching Saturn from his point on Earth. It makes him feel like a small speck in comparison to everything beyond this planet. He wants to find out more of what this life has to offer before it’s too late and it reminds him of his effort of making amends for his past sins. 

 Clearly he still has a lot of work to do. 

 +

 She admits that she did some digging and she knows who he really is on their third date. He supposes he’s not too surprised at her inquisitiveness, but her declaration suddenly makes him feel entirely exposed and vulnerable. 

 They’re sitting in the corner of a quiet coffee shop and James eyes the nearest exit because his chest is contracting and the air is not meeting his lungs like it should. His heart hammers in his chest as hard as his metal fist did against the cryogenic cage Hyrda imprisoned him in time and time again. 

 “I have a friend who is pretty skilled at finding out about people,” she continues lowly, toying at the ceramic coffee cup. “I just—didn’t feel right lying to you about it. You looked familiar when I saw you in Dr. Raynor’s office that first day.”

 He tries to relax the muscles in his neck and shoulders. “No, I understand. So I guess you know I’m pretty messed up then?” He had never personally seen his own file, however it wasn’t hard to imagine what it contained. 

 Jane let out a breathy laugh, as if she couldn’t quite believe what he said. “Aren’t we all, James?”

 +

 The weather is nice enough to start meeting in Central Park and they begin taking strolls around the park during her lunch breaks every day. They play a game where he gets to ask her a question about her past and then she gets to ask him a question about his past and they have to answer honestly. Maybe it’s reminiscent of his meetings with Dr. Raynor, yet James is willing to open up because Jane is too, and he recognizes it’s not easy for either of them. 

 Sometimes they only get through one question, the memories being too painful, and in those moments, their fingers tentatively find the others. It’s reassuring, this insignificant brush of skin against glove, and James suddenly wishes he wasn’t wearing the gloves. It’s been too long since he’s felt the touch of another against his bare skin. 

 He decides to take the right one off when he’s with her. James makes sure he’s standing on her left side for their walks and his heart flips in his chest when she unexpectedly intertwines her fingers with his. She gives him a squeeze and he returns it, an actual smile ghosting the corners of his lips.

 Maybe his eyes are playing tricks on him or maybe it’s just the sun, but he swears he sees a faint blush creeping up her fair cheeks.

 +

 She invites him over to the apartment the foundation is paying rent for after her therapy session. Jane insists that she is more than capable of making something for the both of them that tops the usual take out they have a habit of settling for when they hang out together. So he can’t help but let out a chuckle and a teasing comment when he walks into a smoking kitchen and the fire alarm beeping wildly while a flustered Jane is scrambling to turn off the oven where a blackened chicken resides. 

 They end up ordering their usual take out.

 At the end of their sushi dinner, Jane sets her empty container on the coffee table in front of them and leans back into the armchair, tucking her feet beneath her. She’s oddly quiet and he stares from his spot across on the couch. Her brown eyes gaze distantly out the wall-length windows, her brilliant brain lost in thought. 

 He doesn’t mind the silence, of course, yet he feels a tug to pull her back from wherever she’s gone off to. “Do you ever dance?”

 Her lips curve upward. “Only if you count when I’m by myself and I have the radio blaring.” 

 James smiles at the mental image of a goofy Jane, throwing her arms and legs about in no particular rhythm. “Back in the 40s, I was known around the town for my swing dancing moves,” he informs her casually with a cock of his eyebrow. 

 She laughs, shooting him a mock expression of awe. “James Buchanan Barnes, I had no idea you were such a man of many talents.” 

 He nonchalantly shrugs and then practically bounces off the couch, extending his concealed, left hand to her. “It’s time you learn a move or two today, Ms. Foster.” 

 They rearrange some of Jane’s furniture around to make an adequate amount of space that won’t end in destruction. He begins by teaching her the basic steps, leading her slowly through each one until she insists she’s ready to go on to the next. He finds it ironic that out of all the damage Hydra did to his brain, he can still remember one of his favorite weekend activities from when he was a young man. Well, he’s still pretty young compared to his friends who were with him at the time. 

 If he’s being honest, Jane was born with two left feet, but she is determined to try regardless of her uncoordinated legs. By the end of the night, he gives her the name of a song to play on her Bluetooth speakers and they’re dancing away, Jane doing her best to keep up with the beat and James laughing every time she steps on his feet again. 

 He’s convinced he could stay in this moment forever. 

 +

 She surprises him by taking them to a jazz and swing dance club. 

 He swears he’s in love with her by the end of the evening. 

 He kisses her for the first time when they’re standing on the doorstep of her apartment. 

 +

 James is leaving Dr. Raynor’s office, ready to get as far away as possible from the head spinning forest wallpaper he’s stuck in front of every session when her words stop him in his tracks. 

 “You’re helping her, you know.” 

 He’s never said her name when they discuss her in his sessions. He assumed Jane saw Dr. Raynor too, seeing as she was connected to the superhero world, yet she’s never told him and he’s never asked. 

 He looks over his shoulder at the older woman, his hand still on the doorknob. “Actually, I think it’s the other way around.”

 +

 He has not made love to someone since before he was drafted into the war so when an evening of drinking and card games turns into take off one article of clothing every time you lose a game, James begins to sweat. He has a feeling he knows where this is leading when she’s seated on top of him, clad in only her undergarments, her hips grinding into his mercilessly. 

 It turns out she’s not a very good card player. 

 His mouth is connected to her neck, breathing a trail of wet kisses up to her ear where he bites down softly on the tip of her earlobe and she lets out a tiny whimper that nearly ends him then and there. 

 Her hands wander under the hem of his long-sleeved shirt and he freezes when she starts to tug the material upward. She senses his apparent discomfort and stops, looking down at him. 

 She’s picked up on the fact that he’s sensitive about the metal arm. “Sorry,” she whispers. “If you don’t want to take it off that’s—“

 He knows he’s ready. He knows it’s time to stop living in fear about what others will think of the hideous seam binding the vibranium to flesh. “No, I do. Just give me a second.”

 He sits up and she shifts off of him, unsure of his next move. It takes her by surprise when he sweeps her off the ground in a single motion, carrying her to the bedroom and placing her carefully on the mattress. His hands go to either side of the hem of his shirt and he tugs it off, standing bare chested before her, his silver dog tags resting against the rise and fall of his heavy breathing. 

 She stares, drinking him all in. The defined muscle. The trail of dark hair leading below the waistband of his underwear. The scars from years of battling ‘the enemy.’ Then finally, his metal arm, the leather glove still secure on his left hand. Jane rises to her knees, taking both of his hands and tugging him closer to which he does not oblige. 

 He wants her desperately. Wants to put his mouth all over her. Wants to hear her say his name. Wants to feel every inch of her on his skin. 

 “May I?” she asks, glancing down, fingers ghosting his skin. He nods and suddenly she’s running her fingers over his chest and her fingers sear, burning him, making him feel more alive than he’s felt in the past 80 years. 

 He allows her to touch every inch of him, noting how she studies the outer workings of his arm in true Jane-fashion, and when she decides to replace her fingers with her lips instead upon reaching the seam of his shoulder and arm, he lets out a moan. James is certain this woman will be the end of him. 

 He loses himself in her in more than one way that night. When she takes him, he begs her to call him ‘Bucky’ because he’s tired of acting like the name of a man he never had been in the first place. 

 He falls asleep that night to the memory of her voice whimpering ‘Bucky,’ ‘Bucky,’ ‘Bucky’ as if it were a prayer on her lips. 

 There are no nightmares. 

 +

 Dr. Raynor comments on his unusual openness at their next session. 

 She doesn’t even have to threaten him with the notebook that day. 

 +

 “Vulnerability is the essence of connection and connection is the essence of existence.” - Leo Christopher 

 +

 Longing. 

Rusted. 

Seventeen.

Daybreak. 

Furnace. 

Nine.

Benign. 

Homecoming.

One. 

Freight car. 

 The string of phrases are weaving their way into his skull and he’s trapped. There’s no escape from their cruel entrapment. He must obey. He was engineered to carry out the missions. No, he doesn’t want to obey. Fight back. Fighting makes it worse. Fighting means pain until he can fight no longer. 

 Obey. Must obey. The mission. See that it’s carried out to completion. No witnesses. No survivors.

 Bucky jolts awake in her bed, beads of sweat pooling across his brow. He’s gasping for breath and everything that’s touching him only makes his heart beat faster. He yanks the blankets off of him and sinks down against the wall facing the bed, trying to take in his surroundings and focus on what’s real. Hydra can no longer control him. He is no longer their puppet. 

 He pulls on the dog tags around his neck, using them as something to stabilize his unstable mind. His eyes slide open and he sees her sitting up in bed, watching him silently, her brow twisted in concern. 

 “Just a bad dream,” he comments quietly, inhaling through his nose, pausing, and exhaling through his mouth. 

 She remains unmoving for a moment. 

 “I get them too. Sometimes it feels like the aether is still inside me. Controlling my mind. Forcing me to bend to its wishes.” He’s only heard bits and pieces of her time on Asgard, Thor and Loki’s home planet. It’s still strange to think about the life that exists beyond Earth. 

 He wants to tell her more about Hydra, but he doesn’t. 

 “Think I’m going to stay down here for a little longer. Is it weird that I find the floor softer than the bed?” 

 “We all have our ways of coping,” she muses with a half smile. 

 He wonders what hers happen to be. 

 +

 They spend many nights together watching the starry sky from his apartment rooftop. Jane sits between his arms, pointing out the major constellations, sharing ancient stories of how they got their names. 

 Bucky listens to her words, her voice, drift through the close space they occupy. His eyes grow heavy with tiredness, his chin resting on the crown of her head. 

 He could listen to her talk about space until the end of time. 

 +

 “Are you ever going to answer him?” Jane inquires casually, settling down beside him on the couch. She grabs a blanket and tosses it over their legs. 

 She doesn’t have to say his name to know whose she’s referring to. His name appears on his phone screen nearly every day. “Maybe,” he responds indifferently. 

 Jane gives him a look that tells him she’s not going to let this one go. “He’s clearly worried about you. How hard would it be just to update him about how things are going?”

 He wants to answer with ‘nearly impossible,’ however he has a feeling she won’t drop it if he lets the words slip.

 “Just think about it, okay?” Jane must have picked up on the fact it was going to be a losing battle. 

 He nods. 

 +

 “You sent the flowers that day in the office, didn’t you?” Her breath catches sharply when he bites down on her inner thigh, then immediately tends to the bite with his lips, moving them closer and closer to his objective. 

 “Yes,” he reveals, that day in the office, far from what he’s currently fixated on. She whimpers his name once he finds his source. 

 +

 He can’t remember the last name he’s felt this angry. Bucky paces back and forth in his apartment, trying to calm down, trying to think rationally. 

 She’s leaving. 

 She’s going back to London. 

 Her work in New York was only temporary and she has no choice but to go home to continue her research with her colleagues. 

 The time he assumed they had left together has vanished. She promises they will keep in touch. She’s only a phone call away. 

 It’s not the same though. 

 It’s not the same.

 +

 “You’ve helped, you know,” she murmurs, nestled cozily in his arms. Her fingers play with his dog tags while he stares at shadows on her ceiling bedroom, trying with all his might to will her to stay if he just never lets her out of his grasp. 

 His eyebrows knit together. “Helped create more problems in your life?” he teases and she retaliates by giving the dog tags a tug. 

 “When I came back to New York, all I wanted was to be able to talk to someone about the shit life has thrown at me. That’s part of the reason I started seeing Dr. Raynor,” she admits, nuzzling deeper into his hold. “You listened and you cared, Bucky. I don’t know what I’m going to do in London without someone who actually gets it.”

 He wonders the same thing. 

 +

 On the day she leaves, he finally decides to text Sam back. 

 She was right. 

 Sam was worried about him. 

 He chooses honesty over the typical response of ‘I’m fine’ for once. 

 I’ve had better days, he writes. He’ll tell Sam more about it when they see each other again. 

 +

 It’s a Thursday afternoon when he sees him sitting in the chair next to her old spot. 

 He’s about his height (Bucky’s taller, of course). Black hair, cut close to his head. Brown eyes. And a smug smile that makes him want to punch it right off his face with his metal fist. 

 Sam rises from his seat and goes in for a hug. “Long time, no see, grandpa,” he jokes, pulling back and poking him in the chest. 

 Bucky rolls his eyes, a grin breaking across his face. “Yeah, yeah. Missed you too,” he says, pushing him away and starting toward the doors. 

 “You’ve got a lot of explaining to do. But it might have to wait until after we take care of business,” Sam states, trailing after him. 

 He wants to protest. Sam’s the last one he wants to talk about the events of the past few months with, but he’s got no one else left. 

 Bucky figures he’ll have to settle for him. 

 For now. 

[solange-lol]

because you gave me a shot (and its been a long time since someone gave me a shot)

words: 2,552

solangelo week day 3: fantasy

read on ao3

When Nico asks Will to go to homecoming with him, he wasn’t expecting a yes.

Sure, they had a thing. They were friends, no more than that, but they were definitely closer than your average two friends. Maybe they were just comfortable with each other, or maybe it was because of Nico’s massive crush on Will that he may or may not reciprocate.

To each their own, though.

Nico wasn’t going to ask him out, originally. Honestly, he wasn’t even sure that he wanted to go to homecoming himself, much less with the boy he had liked for years, (that is, if Will said yes.)

If Piper and Annabeth hadn’t brought it up during lunch, he probably wouldn’t have asked Will at all.

They’re talking casually as they do during their shared lunch period. It’s no different from your normal Friday, although Nico can definitely see Piper and Annabeth sharing some pointed looks with each other every time he and Will got into another deep conversation.

(By deep conversation, he means he would go off about something and Will would sit there and nod. He never seemed upset about it though, and he once told Nico that he liked to hear him talk about the things he was passionate about, so Nico never stopped.)

The moment the two bring up the homecoming dance that night, though, Nico knows he’s being set up.

He doesn’t partake in the conversation at first, hoping that if he keeps quiet and doesn’t give his opinion about Annabeth and Piper’s dresses that they’ll drop the subject, but he gets no such luck.

“So,” Annabeth says, crossing her legs. “Are you going tonight, Will?”

Will looks up from his sandwich in surprise.

“Um, I don’t know. I don’t really know who’s going, so I don’t know if I have any reason to,” he explains.

Nico knows what’s coming next without even hearing Piper start talking.

“Really? Because Nico-”

“Do you want to go to homecoming with me?” Nico asks before she can even finish. If he’s going to ask out Will, he’s not letting Piper do it for him.

“With us, I mean, ‘cuz we’re going as a group, but, like, with me with the group,” he continues rambling out an explanation, trying to ignore the way his heart had leaped into his throat. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Annabeth and Piper rolling their eyes at him.

“Oh,” Will blinks. “Yeah, okay. I’d like that.”

“Okay,” Nico says. “Okay, cool. Sounds good. I’ll, uh, text you tonight, then.” He can feel heat creeping into cheeks, and does his best to push it away. He was not expecting a yes after that mess of an invitation and holy shit Annabeth and Piper that high five was not subtle.

“Okay,” Will nods.

Before Nico can stutter out anything else embarrassing, the lunch bell rings, saving him.  He says his goodbyes to Will and the girls quickly before making his way to his art class. Even with the loud, overlapping conversations and crowded space that the hallway brings, he’s still replaying the conversation in his head.

Nico enters the studio a little bit pinker, and a little bit more confident in himself.

⁠—

Nearly three hours into the dance, Will still hasn’t shown up. No, text, no apology. Not even an excuse as to why he stood Nico up.

Nothing.

It was too good to be true. He should have known.

Nico curses at himself internally. He should have known. Just when he felt like he finally did something right, the universe reminds him that everyone in the world is against him once again. As much as he wants to keep denying that Will didn’t stand him up, he did.

And it fucking hurts. A lot.  

Maybe it wouldn’t have bothered him as much if Will didn’t act so genuinely excited to go to homecoming with Nico. If he didn’t want to go, or only said yes out of pity, he could have at least hinted to Nico that he wasn’t going to show up.

All day though, Will kept giving him that look; the look that he saved just for Nico. And as they were leaving their chemistry class that they had together last period, Will had told him “see you tonight!” before splitting off to their respective study halls.

For the first few hours, Nico tried to act like it was something besides him that caused it. Maybe a family emergency, or maybe he was too nervous to dance with another boy in front of the school (if he even was planning on dancing with Nico that was.) But wouldn’t he have sent Nico a text, or said no in the first place if that was the case? Even Will had sent him a shitty excuse, Nico still probably would have accepted it over whatever this feeling was.

Yeah, no. By the third hour and still no word from Will, he wasn’t going to keep lying to himself. This was him being stood up.

It just sucks, because Nico thought they had something. For once in his life, he really thought someone was giving him a shot, and yet. Which meant he was probably making up anything between him and Will because he just wanted it so badly, and Will was too nice to say no.

He’s right back at square one.

No, he’s been at square one the entire time.

That hurts too.

Nico is still moping by himself at the table like he has been for the entirety of the dance when, out of all people, Reyna out of all people comes out and grabs his arm. He didn’t even know she was here.  

“Come on,” she says. “We’re dancing.”

Usually, Reyna can get Nico to do anything, but the last thing he wants to do right now is dance.

(That part sucks too. The situation has essentially ruined his first homecoming, which he should be upset about. He isn’t, though. Because it’s Will , and because Nico is tired, and he can never be mad at Will even when he isn’t tired.)

He groans, pulling his arm away from her. “No, we’re not.”

“Nico,” Reyna says, pulling at his arm again. “You don’t need a dance partner to dance. Now come on.”

Maybe he’s considering her point, or maybe Nico just realizes this isn’t a battle he’s going to win, so he stands up.

Nico follows Reyna out onto the dance floor. The majority of their student body is already swarmed together. It’s sweaty, and crowded, and makes Nico feel weirdly embarrassed like he doesn’t belong in this group.

He’s about to tell Reyna he’s going back to sit down, but before he can escape, she pulls him into a smaller group of their friends off to the side. It’s still connected to the bigger crowd, but they’re in a kind of circle and everyone’s dancing, and it feels okay.

“See? This isn’t so bad?” she elbows Nico, who rolls his eyes. She’s right though. It’s actually kind of fun. None of them are particularly good dancers, but nobody is really paying attention to each other either. Everyone is doing their own thing.

A new song starts, and it’s one Nico recognizes from his childhood. Everyone in the room does too, and immediately more people come out to the center of the gym. The dancing gets faster paced, and the energy builds until its exhilarating.

At some point, their circle gets bigger, and Nico finds himself pushed more into the center of it. His first reaction is to get the heck outta there, but after a few seconds, the energy is back, and he just lets go.

Lets go of Will. Lets go of the school. Lets go of everyone around him, saying his name (he did not know this many people knew who he was.)

Lets go of the night altogether and just lets himself exist .

And somehow, every bad feeling he previously had is gone. It’s all replaced with the absolute exhilaration and genuine happiness to be there.

The song ends, replaced by the start of a slow one. Thankfully, Nico doesn’t feel his heart sink like it had for the past 3 hours every time he watched couples group together. Instead, he just tales the minute to breathe.

To his surprise, Annabeth makes her way over. She’s wearing a blueish gray dress that stops right above her knees, the color matching with her boyfriend, Percy’s tie.

“I’m sorry for what happened at lunch,” she tells him. They’re not even that close, and she’s at least half a foot taller than him, but she still grabs his arm as if he’s her date instead. “I always think about how long I waited for Percy to ask me out, and I didn’t want you two to have to sit through that weird gray area, but it wasn’t what I thought it was.”

Nico shrugs. “Yeah, well,” he says vaguely, then “It’s okay.” Because it is. He honestly feels the best he’s felt all day in this moment.

She grins, raising her eyebrows slightly. “I saw you dancing. Will doesn’t know what he’s missing,” she says, and it causes heat to immediately rush to his face.

Before he can respond, though, his eyes catch something (more like someone.)

Will Solace is making his way across the gym floor to Nico.

Annabeth notices too, patting Nico’s arm before returning to Percy and the others. Meanwhile, his eyes are still trained on the approaching boy.

“Looks like I missed a lot,” Will says softly. He must have come in at the tail end of the song, which means he saw Nico, proving what Annabeth said.

Nico’s still so shocked by him, and his presence even after 3 hours, and the soft blue button up that matches his eyes that he’s paired with a navy blue flowered tie. His hair is slightly styled, but the curls still come through around his ears and in front of his eyes. It’s too much, and yet he can’t take his eyes off of Will.

He’s here. For Nico.

“The dance started three hours ago,” Nico finally says, because that’s the only thing he can say. He wants an explanation, wants a reason to forgive Will.

“I know, and I’m sorry. My family is crazy, and there’s only one car, and my mom was in between gigs and my siblings were being annoying, and none of that matters because I am so, so sorry.”

“You could have texted,” Nico responds in an attempt to ignore the feeling, and he notices how hurt he sounds. He is hurt, and he’s scared for whatever excuse is to come next.

“I cracked my phone earlier on my way out of school, and I don’t have your number memorized, so I couldn’t reach you,” he fishes said phone out of his pocket and shows it to Nico. It is indeed cracked, and bad enough that it won’t turn on. It almost makes Nico laugh, the way he brought it just to prove himself. As if he needed to prove himself to Nico.

“I’m really sorry about being so late,” he continues, and he sounds so desperate it tugs at Nico’s chest. He’s still looking at Nico right in the eye. They’re so dark in the dance lighting they almost look black, but he can see the tiny bit of blue reflecting in the light that is searching, begging for his forgiveness on this.

“You’re going to need to get your phone fixed at some point,” Nico smiles slightly. “I’m better at texting than talking to your face.”

“Oh yeah?” Will raises his eyebrow, and he’s still searching Nico’s face even though they both know exactly what's going on right now. “Why’s that?”

“Shut up,” Nico shoves him slightly, but Will holds onto his arm, and pulls him in close.

“So am I forgiven?” he asks as they begin to dance together slowly. He says it in a way that Nico can’t tell if he’s joking or being serious, but the answer is obvious.

“Yeah,” Nico nods against Will’s chest. (He’s taller than Nico, too. Basically everyone in the school is.) “Yeah, you’re forgiven.”

And maybe Reyna is right. Maybe he doesn’t need a dance partner to dance.

But it’s so much better with one.

⁠—

The two of them are sitting outside the school together after the dance winds down. They’re both waiting for their rides. It’s like a cruel race to see who gets here faster: Nico’s neglective dad (honestly, his stepmom is probably the one coming) or Will’s mom who works late night gigs.

At least it gives them more time together though before they’re separated for the weekend.

(Nico is really praying Will gets his phone fixed at some point over the weekend so they can text or meet up. He doesn’t know if he can wait until Monday morning to see Will again.)

They’re holding hands, too. Will had grabbed Nico’s hand after they sat back down after their dance together and hasn’t let go since.

“Thank you for waiting for me,” Will says, taking Nico by surprise. (There’s been a lot of surprises tonight.)

“I wasn’t expecting you to,” he continues, squeezing Nico’s hand softly. “When I realized I was going to be late, really late, I thought you were going to leave. And that I blew my one shot at this.”

He squeezes Nico’s hand again, not quite making eye contact with him, but he shifts a little closer so their thighs are touching. Nico feels his heart leap into his throat.

“I didn’t want to,” he admits. “I kind of spiraled a bit, but Reyna and the others were able to drag me out of it. It never crossed my mind to leave before then, though. I guess part of me just knew, or was just really, really hoping you would show up.”

“And then I did,” Will grins cheesily, finally making eye contact with him, and Nico almost forgets how to speak as Will’s face inches closer to his

“And then you did,” he agrees after a second.

“I’m glad you stuck around.”

Nico swallows. “Me too,” he says. It’s barely a whisper, and Will wouldn’t have been able to hear him if their lips weren’t an inch apart.

Will glances down, then back up to Nico. “Since you asked me to homecoming,” he starts, his eyes flickering back down for a moment. “Can I ask to kiss you?”

Nico’s chest swells. “You don’t have to ask,” he says before closing the distance between them.

Will shifts slightly, kissing him deeper. Nico’s hands come up to rest on his cheeks, then slide up, running through his hair. He has no idea what he’s doing, but it feels right.

And sure, they’re on a bench outside of their high school, where literally anyone or their parents could see them, but none of that matters when Will pulls back after a minute, his eyes wide and lips slightly pinker.

“I’m really glad you stuck around,” he says, and Nico laughs slightly before pulling him back in.

Yeah, despite the negative feelings that the night started out with, it was worth it to be able to do this.

⁠—

solangelo tag list (message to be added/removed)

@unicornsgomooo @anxiouswinter @soulangelou @number-of-fucks-i-give-0 @underworldystuff @theeloquentsnake @solangelover@thefandomsaretakingover @internallyexplodingrainbows​ @hairasuntouchedaspartoftheamazon​ @motivatedcryptidtamer @emilyfairchild @wherethewildthingsare-nt @hetapeep41 @blavk-dahlia

[wordsandshawn]

Before Now - chapter 19

In this chapter ... Shawn’s sick and on vocal rest and not supposed to be in Skylar’s hotel room. 

Warnings: None

Word Count: 3.4k 

Catch up on previous chapters here

Shawn starts stirring in the bed after only ten minutes. The movement catches my attention, and I watch him wake up slowly. He spots the candle first before looking around the room and noticing me. “Hey,” He mumbles, but his voice is raspy.

“How are you feeling?” I ask, watching him carefully.

“Shitty.” He responds, keeping his answer short.  

“What hurts?” I ask, moving across the room to retrieve the cup of tea I had bought for him.

He points to his throat silently, and I realize that he’s probably not supposed to talk. I offer him the tea, and he takes it. He doesn’t ask what it is, and I don’t think it needs an explanation. He takes a sip, wincing a bit, and I guess it must hurt him to swallow.

“Are you on vocal rest?” I ask, and he just nods.  

Shawn continues drinking the tea, and a few seconds of silence pass between us. I grab the other cup of tea and climb onto the bed next to Shawn. Pulling my knees to my chest, facing him as I take a sip of the tea. I have so many questions, but I feel like I can’t ask them because he’s not allowed to talk.

So instead of asking anything, I sit there in silence, sipping my tea as Shawn does the same on the other side of the bed. I have all the time to think since we can’t exactly talk. The most pressing question on my mind is why is he here? Why did he come to my hotel room, and why did he stay even when I wasn’t even here? I know that he didn’t want to talk to anyone, at least that’s what Zubin and Josiah made it seem like. And I know that no one was really supposed to be talking or communicating with him as evidenced by his missing name on the list of hotel room numbers, meaning that we weren’t even supposed to know what room he was staying in. I don’t think that anyone would have bothered him, but I guess Andrew didn’t want to even take that chance. Or maybe Shawn didn’t. I’m not sure and I can’t exactly ask. The questions inside keep bubbling to the surface, but I don’t ask them. Finally, after about a minute, I can’t take it any longer. I retrieve my phone from the chair and open up the notes app. I hand the phone to Shawn, and he looks at the empty note before looking up at me expectantly. I don’t have to explain for him to understand.

“Why’d you come here?” I ask the question I have been wondering about since I discovered him here in my hotel room instead of his.

He immediately stares down at the phone, but he doesn’t start typing right away. He looks exhausted instead of just sleepy all of a sudden. I almost take the question back, feeling like it wasn’t appropriate to ask and wondering if it sounded accusatory. But his fingers start moving before I can say anything else. He stops typing and pauses before finally turning the phone, so I can see what he wrote. I didn’t want to be alone. I read the words, absorbing them, and I can feel his gaze on me. He’s watching for my reaction.

I can feel the vulnerability in that sentence, and I know the feeling. It’s why I showed up at his hotel room in the middle of the night the last time we stayed at a hotel.

“I went out to get some things for you.” I say, suddenly remembering the bag with the teddy bear in it and using it as an excuse to change the subject. The teddy bear is a miniature version of one Shawn used to have when we were kids. It was his teddy bear, but he’d always let me cuddle with it whenever I was over. I loved that teddy bear, and he never let on that he cared about it, but he also kept that teddy bear even when he was “too old” to have any other stuffed animals.

Retrieving the tiny bear, I present it to him. He smiles a genuine smile, and I can’t ignore the way that seeing him like that made my heart jump in my chest. “I didn’t want you to be alone either.” I admit. “I tried to go to your room, but I didn’t know your room number.”

He nods, his way of responding since he can’t say anything. He takes the teddy bear, gently squeezing it in his hand and holding it close to his chest. The way he’s looking at me, I know he wants to say something, but he doesn’t. He’s not supposed to talk, and typing isn’t an ideal way to have a conversation.

His eyes drop back to my phone, and he starts typing again. I wait patiently for him to finish and show me. Sorry I came. I know I shouldn’t have, but I can’t stop thinking about the canceled show, and how many people I disappointed, and I just couldn’t stay in my hotel room any longer.  

“It’s okay. I’m glad you came.” I respond, honestly. I know I’ve been telling Shawn to stay away from me and to keep everything professional, but deep in my heart, I never truly meant it.  Ever since I joined Shawn on tour, he’s been reaching out, trying to help me, but I’ve been pushing him away. It’s easier for me to push away someone trying to help me, but he’s the one that needs me now, and I know that I won’t push him away.

“Shawn, you’re human. You get sick. It happens, and it isn’t your fault.” I try encouraging him, but the look on his face tells me that he doesn’t believe what I’m saying, so I try again. Even though he’s not saying anything, I can already guess that his thoughts are spiraling. He’s thinking of everything he should have done to avoid getting sick. He’s thinking that people are upset with him, and that he let people down. “Hey, Shawn. Listen to me.” I say firmly in an attempt to interrupt his thoughts. “That’s not important right now.”

I put my cup down on the nightstand before taking Shawn’s cup and my phone from him, placing both items on the nightstand as well. I blow out the candle, just in case.

He sits still, watching me as I move the pillows then lean against them before reaching out to him. He responds to my body language, lying down next to me, allowing me to wrap my arm around him. His side presses against mine. This is the most physical contact that we’ve had in a long time, but I try not to think about that. Despite being much taller than me, he fits in the space next to me perfectly. “Stop. Just try to stop thinking.” I say, keeping my voice low. “Rest, okay. That’s what you need right now.”

He nods, and I run my fingers through his curls, gently massaging his scalp in a way that used to make him relax and fall asleep almost instantly. I pray it still has the same effect on him. Despite the time that has passed since we were so close, he’s still so familiar to me.

“Ky?” He questions after a few minutes of silence. I thought he was falling asleep, but I guess not.

My fingers freeze, still lingering in his hair. “Shawn, you’re not supposed to talk,” I say with a sigh.  

He scoots away from me just enough to prop himself up on his elbow so that he can see my face. “I’m sorry.” He says. But his tone doesn’t sound like he’s apologizing for accidentally talking when he shouldn’t have.

However, since I can’t think of anything else Shawn would be apologizing for in this moment, I just say, “Okay, go to sleep.” I move to make more room for him to lie back down, but he doesn’t.

“No, I have to say this now or I might not get the chance.” His voice is so raspy, and I’m scared he’s about to ruin it if he continues talking.  

“Shawn, don’t.” I say, mostly worried about his voice since I have no idea what he’s trying to say. For as long as I’ve known Shawn, I’ve always known him to take himself and his career very seriously. I know he’s been on vocal rest at least a couple of times before, and during those times, I had never heard him utter a single word. His voice is his career, and he knows that.

“I’m sorry for not being there for you when we dated. I’m sorry for hurting you. I really wanted us to work out.” He admits, sounding so broken and sad.

“Shawn, that was a long time ago,” I respond.  

“But we never talked about it. You rarely ever came home after that. And we never talked about us.” He whispers so forcefully it catches me off guard.

I honestly had no idea that Shawn even cared. I always just assumed he was too busy dating models and beautiful girls to even have any thoughts about us ending. Especially because there were so many pictures in the press of him with other girls after we were over.

“How about we talk about this later, yeah?” I suggest, knowing he’s still not feeling well and wanting him to rest. Shawn has always been very thoughtful, and he can get into his head sometimes, which is how I know that he will stay awake thinking and deliberating and replaying any moment in his head, unless I can get him to stop and just rest.

“You’ll talk to me?” He asks, and I realize that my attempt to keep myself safe from getting hurt again has been hurting Shawn this entire time.

“Yeah, S. When you’re feeling better, we’ll talk.” I respond, using my nickname for him. The one I haven’t used since we broke up. The expression on his face changes slightly and briefly, but I know that he noticed that I called him S, not Shawn. Just like how I notice every time he calls me Ky instead of Skylar.

Shawn nods and scoots closer to me, cuddling into my side again. I close my eyes, relaxing against him, and resume threading my fingers through his curls. After five more minutes, his breathing evens out, and I’m grateful he’s not stressed or upset, even if only for a little while as he sleeps. I refuse to move, not wanting to risk waking him, so after a while of staring at the ceiling and trying to sort through what happened today, I finally fall asleep too.

I wake up to an incessant buzzing sound. It’s coming from somewhere on the bed, although I don’t know where. The hotel room is nearly dark, signaling that the sun has set outside. Shawn is still asleep next to me. I decide that whoever is on the other side of the phone can wait because Shawn looks so peaceful.  

I’m trying to fall back asleep when I hear the buzzing again. When the phone starts buzzing a third time, I finally move to search for it. Shawn starts waking up as soon as I move away from him, but I continue on the search under pillows and blankets for Shawn’s incessantly buzzing phone. When I finally locate it, Shawn’s completely awake and looking around confused, although he doesn’t say anything. I see that Andrew’s name is lighting up the screen, and I offer it to him, “Andrew is calling.”

He takes it from me but doesn’t attempt to answer and it goes to voicemail.

“Aren’t you going to text him?” I ask before adding, “He called like three times.”

Shawn just shakes his head, sitting up only to wrap and arm around me, pulling me back down next to him.

“Shawn, what are you doing?” I ask, now lying beside him.

He doesn’t speak, just pulls me closer, resting his chin against the top of my head. As much as I know I should figure out what Andrew wanted or at least let him know that Shawn’s okay, the feeling of his arms around me feels too comforting for me to give up right now.

I don’t say anything else, and Shawn falls asleep again ten minutes later. After waiting for a while to make sure he’s sleeping deeply, I carefully maneuver out of his arms. This time, I make it without waking him, and I sigh in relief. Retrieving my phone off the night stand, I open my messages and create a text to Andrew. Just thought you should know Shawn’s okay. He’s sleeping in my hotel room.

Andrew replies within seconds. Have him text me when he wakes up. I let Andrew know that I will and then grab my phone, wallet and room key before venturing off to a café I remember seeing earlier today. Shawn has been only sleeping in short bursts, so I want to grab some food before he wakes again.

He’s awake and on his phone when I enter the hotel room with the bag of food. When he sees me, he sits up.

“Hey, I bought dinner.” I say, holding up the bag of food as an explanation for why I left while he was asleep.

“I got you chicken soup. It probably won’t be as good as your moms, but it’s the best I could do.” I say with a shrug, pulling the bowl out and handing it to Shawn. He’s typing on his phone, but then he looks up and grabs the food as my phone buzzes in my pocket. I pull it out to see a text from Shawn: Thank you.

“You’re welcome.” I say, handing him a spoon. He barely eats half of his soup before pushing it away and lying back down on the bed. Even though he slept most of the afternoon away, I can tell he clearly still doesn’t feel well.

I’m eating my sandwich in silence when a loud knock on the door interrupts my thoughts. I slide off the bed and pad over to the door, sandwich still in hand.

“What’s going on here?” Andrew asks, his voice sharp and accusatory, and I can’t help but shrink back.

“Nothing,” I try answering.

“Shawn was supposed to meet with his doctor two hours ago, but we couldn’t find him. He waited around a while, but he had to go. He’s finally on his way back now to check on Shawn.” Andrew says.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t – I didn’t know.” I respond. I knew that Andrew never really liked me, but he’s never been so openly angry at me.

“It’s not her fault.” Shawn speaks up from behind me.

“You aren’t supposed to be talking.” Andrew responds, his finger pointed at Shawn. “Skylar, please go wait outside.” Andrew says, and Shawn shakes his head no, and reaches for my arm, but Andrew is standing between us now. I don’t want to risk arguing or making anything worse, so I step outside, and sit down in the hallway.

I can only hear the sound of Andrew’s voice, although I can’t make out what he’s saying. I know Shawn isn’t even supposed to be talking, so I’m pretty sure the conversation is one sided. After a few minutes, a guy who’s clearly a doctor comes walking down the hotel hallway toward me. He stops at the door, glancing down at me, “Hello.” He says, before knocking.

“Hi.” I whisper back as the door opens.

“Hi Dr. Diaz, come in.” Andrew says, sounding friendly, a huge contrast from how he spoke to us not long ago. “Again, I’m so sorry about earlier, but thank you for coming back.” I hear him say before the door closes behind them, leaving me alone in the hallway again.

I stare at my hands, wondering just how bad this is going to be. I know that Andrew has the power to fire me. I know that he didn’t want to hire me in the first place, but I didn’t mean to do anything wrong.

The door opens again, jerking me from my thoughts, and Andrew steps out. He leaves the door open a tiny bit so that we don’t get locked out, and he pulls out a hotel key card. “Here is the key to Shawn’s hotel room. It’s room 1538. You’ll stay there tonight.” I must look confused, because he says. “Shawn needs rest, not a distraction.” I swallow hard to keep my emotions at bay.

Standing up, I finally say, “I need to get my stuff.”

“Do it quickly. You have two minutes.” He responds, his face practically expressionless.

I nod, and he opens the door, letting me slip inside. When I walk inside, Shawn’s eyes are closed, and the doctor is basically looking down his throat. I gather the things I need in less than a minute. I want to say goodbye to Shawn, but he still hasn’t opened his eyes and I don’t want to get yelled at by Andrew, so I just slip out.

I make my way up to Shawn’s room and enter using the key card that Andrew gave me. Shawn’s backpack is on the floor, the only sign that Shawn was ever here at all. The bed is still perfectly made and everything else it the room seems untouched.

By now it’s nearly nine at night, so I pull out my laptop to get some editing done, but I’m too distracted by my thoughts to make much progress. My phone buzzes. It’s a text from Shawn. Where did you go?

Andrew told me to stay in your room tonight. I type the response and then hit send.

Another message comes in less than thirty seconds later 😔Come back

I can’t. Andrew said you need rest. I respond, before turning my attention back to my screen. I check my phone a few minutes later, but there’s no response from Shawn. I realize he’s probably not going to respond, and it’s best if he just goes to sleep. Suddenly, I hear a knock at my door. My first thought is that it’s probably Andrew coming to yell at me or something, but I also wonder if maybe it’s Shawn. I push that thought away as I walk toward the door, knowing he’s sick, so he’s probably not leaving my room.

When I look through the peephole, I see a very tired, slightly grumpy looking Shawn standing there. I pull open the door, not bothering to hide my relief over the fact that he’s not Andrew trying to yell at me.

“What are you doing here?” I question, but Shawn just enters the room instead of responding. “You’re not supposed to be here.” I say, stating the obvious, but again, Shawn doesn’t reply, and I can’t exactly get angry at him, knowing that he’s on vocal rest, and truthfully, he looks so cute, and I wanted to see him more than I even realized before he showed up.

He simply grabs his toothbrush from his backpack and disappears into the bathroom. I sit back down and continue working. Shawn still doesn’t say anything when he returns from the bathroom, and a part of me knows that I should probably go back to my room, leaving Shawn here to rest alone, but I don’t leave because the truth is I don’t want to.

When he comes back into the room, he walks over to me, gazing over my shoulder at the video I’m editing. “I thought maybe you could post something since you’re weren’t able to play the show tonight.” I explain.

He nods his approval, but then picks up my laptop and moves it to the bed, before returning and taking my hand, gently pulling me toward the bed too. I don’t argue, standing up and following him to the bed. I sit down, pulling my laptop onto my lap as Shawn curls up beside me, falling asleep almost immediately. I finish editing, sending the video to Andrew, before letting myself go to bed as well.

.

.

.

Just one more chapter until this series is officially completed! Please let me know your thoughts and feedback. I always appreciate reading comments! 

Chapter 20

[three-drink-amy]

Sweet Creature

master list - AO3

Chapter Twelve

Claire’s alarm went off far too early the next morning. She was used to waking up early to open the bakery, but she was also used to being able to fall straight to sleep the night before. Last night had been an exception. After Jamie had left her, she’d tried to go about her nightly routine, same as always. But once she climbed into bed, she couldn’t sleep. A permanent smile graced her face as she laid there and replayed her evening. 

She was paying the price for it now, though. Grogginess was overtaking her as she fought to wake up. An idea struck her and she sat up to grab her phone. Texting Mary, she let her know she’d be in late that morning and Mary needed to open on her own. She felt a bit bad for doing so, but Mary replied almost immediately and said that was more than fine. Pumping her fist in the air, Claire laid back down and curled under her blankets again. 

As she willed herself to fall back asleep, she heard a knock at her door. Groaning, Claire pulled herself from her bed and threw her robe on over her pajamas. She smacked her hand against her face to try and wake up a bit. Opening the door, she was blown away to see Jamie standing there with a broad grin on his face. 

“Morning, Sassenach,” he greeted, almost too cheerfully. 

“Hi,” she said groggily. “What are you doing here? Do you know that it’s 5:00?” 

“Of course I ken what time it is. But I ken ye have to get up verra early to open the bakery,” he replied. “And I brought ye breakfast.” He pulled his hands out from behind his back and revealed a bag and a carrier with two coffee cups. 

She tilted her head as a smile crept across her face. “You did?” 

He grinned, stepping closer. “I did.” Holding out the bag to her, he stepped in and shut the door behind him. 

She opened the bag and saw two wrapped breakfast sandwiches sitting at the bottom. “I thought McNally’s closed.” 

“Nah, they just moved.” 

“Huh,” she said, looking back up at him. “This is so sweet. But why? What, are you trying to cram as many dates in as fast as possible til we hit a number that’s proper to get in each other’s pants?” she asked with a laugh. 

He didn’t look amused though. His face fell as he opened and closed his mouth. “No.” He looked genuinely hurt by her comment. “I can go,” he said, turning for the door. 

“Jamie, no!” she called, grabbing his arm. “I’m sorry, I was just teasing. I promise you I didn’t mean it.” She put the bag of food down on the table by the door. “Please stay and have breakfast with me,” she pleaded, reaching up to cup his face. “It was truly such a sweet gesture.” 

He didn’t say anything, just nodded in reply. Claire smiled at him as she picked up the bag of food and walked to the table. Jamie grabbed her coffee out of the carrier and set it in front of her and then did the same for himself. She did similarly, handing him his sandwich and taking hers. Taking a bite, she groaned. “God, this is good. Thank you.” 

A grin widened on his face, making her feel a bit relieved. “Ye’re welcome.” He took a bite of his own sandwich. “What do ye usually have for breakfast?” he asked. 

“Do you remember when we shared that flat after we both moved here?” Jamie nodded. “And how you got so angry that I wasn’t eating breakfast that you made me breakfast each morning before I went to class?” 

Jamie laughed. “Aye, I do remember. I believe I asked what kind of doctor doesna ken to eat breakfast.” 

Claire cackled. “The kind that doesn’t actually become a doctor.” She laughed to herself. “Anyway, after you moved over here, I pretty much went back to my old habits.” 

Jamie’s eyebrows raised at her. “Are ye serious?” She nodded. “Ye dinna eat breakfast?” She flashed him a guilty look. “Woman, ye should be smarter than that. What, do I need to start making ye omelets again every day as I used to?” 

“You know I wouldn’t say no,” she replied with a grin. “You made some quite good omelets.” 

“Aye, I still do. Because I’m smart enough to eat my breakfast,” he said with a shake of his head. “Full of proteins and vegetables, and all those good things.” 

“Well you know, that offer sounds nice.” 

“It wasna an offer, I was making fun of ye,” he told her. “Ye think I’m getting up at 5:00 each morning to make ye breakfast? And then what shall I do until I go to work at a reasonable hour?” 

Claire chuckled to herself. “You could come to work with me and take up a second job.” 

“Rupert and Geillis gave me a hard time for having a job at all,” he reminded her. “What would they make of me taking on a second position?” 

They shared a laugh as they kept eating. Claire took a long swig of her coffee. “You know, I hadn’t quite considered all the plus sides of this arrangement.” 

“This arrangement?” Jamie asked, a confused look on his face. “I never agreed to making ye breakfast each morning.” 

She shook her head, smiling. “I didn’t mean that. I meant...us.” She reached out and held his hand. “This.” He nodded, looking down at their hands. “I’ve never dated someone who already knew all my preferences. Like my coffee order.” 

“Are ye saying I have a leg up on all the other men ye’ve dated?” he asked with a smirk. 

“As if you didn’t already know you would.” 

He leaned closer to her, drawing her in. “I canna say I mind that.” And then, he kissed her. They shared a look before continuing to eat their breakfast in a comfortable silence. 

After she’d finished, she picked up her coffee and planted herself down on her couch. Jamie followed suit and sat down right next to her. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders as he’d done many times before. This time, she felt no hesitation as she leaned into him. He glanced down at her and she pressed her lips to his. His response was immediate as his hand moved to rest at the back of her head. She spared a thought for what a mess her hair must be, but then his tongue glided along her lip and she ceased to care about anything. 

She parted her lips for him, her hands resting against his face. They kissed languidly, only breaking apart for a short breath before meeting again for a longer kiss. She turned, pressing him further against the back of the couch. He pulled her onto his lap, his arms coming around her. His hands moved up and down her back. One brazen hand roved further down, gliding over her arse. She squeaked against him. 

He pulled back from her, panting slightly. “Sorry.” 

She laughed, readjusting herself on his lap, now straddling him. “Don’t be. I was just taken a bit by surprise.” She leaned down and kissed him quickly. “I was just suddenly aware that it was you grabbing my arse.” 

He looked up at her, a mixture of concern and amusement on his face. “And do ye have a problem wi’ that?” 

Claire took his face in her hands, leaning down until she was nearly kissing him again. “No.” She crushed her mouth back to his, showing him just how comfortable she was with his touch. Both of his hands squeezed her arse this time, making her groan into his mouth. 

He broke away, planting kisses along her neck. “Ye have the finest arse,” he breathed against her. “I’ve always thought so.” 

She gripped his hair and pulled his head back some so she could look at him. “You’ve always thought so?” she asked. 

He nodded with a smug grin. “Oh, aye. Why do ye think I let ye walk ahead of me all the time?” 

Claire smacked his chest while fighting a grin of her own. She leaned back in and kissed him punishingly. He held her close, moaning into her mouth. Things were escalating between them faster than they should. Claire thought of what she was wearing and realized that he could have her naked in three small movements. That thought both concerned and exhilarated her. 

He seemed to be aware of how things were moving between them. As he resumed his path of kisses down her throat, he said, “I should leave soon.” 

Claire sighed under his attentions. “You don’t have to.” 

He kept plying her with small kisses. “Ye have to get to the bakery.” 

She smirked at him, leaning down to kiss him quickly. “Did I tell you that I’ve been giving Mary more responsibilities?” 

Jamie looked confused, wondering why she decided to mention it now. His hands squeezed at her waist. “No, ye hadna.” 

Claire nodded before kissing him again. “Yeah, I have. With the third store opening out of town, I thought it would be a good idea.” 

“Sure,” Jamie agreed, pressing a kiss to her collarbone. 

“Which means that this morning, Mary is opening the store,” Claire informed him with a wild look in her eye. 

“Is she?” She nodded, leaning against him as he clutched her tighter. He looked up at her, a sly grin forming on his face. “Well then.” His hand cupped the back of her head and brought her back down to him. 

They met again in a flurry of movements, hands drifting, tongues dancing. As Claire tried to get impossibly close to him, her hips rolled against his. Jamie groaned, his hands tightening on her. “Christ, Claire,” he breathed. “Ye canna be doing that.” 

She kissed along his jaw, humming in response to him. “Why not?” 

“Because it makes me want to take ye right here, right now and I dinna think either of us really have the time for that this morning.” 

Claire felt devious, rolling her hips against him again, eager to see his reaction. His arms locked around her back, flipping them over so she was laying on the couch and he was over her. She squealed as her back hit the couch. He bore a smirk, staring down at her. “I’ll no’ have ye teasing me, thank ye verra much.” She laughed loudly, reaching up to wrap her arms around his neck. He brought his head down and kissed her sinfully. 

She broke apart, needing to catch her breath. “And you call me a tease.” He grinned before he moved his mouth, kissing a path down her neck. His body slowly lowered til he was hovering just above her. She rocked her hips against him again. 

Jamie pulled all the way off of her, standing up from the couch. “Alright, I best be off.” 

“What?” she cried, laying there, feeling incredibly riled up. He walked around the couch to throw his trash away before heading to the door. “You’re just going to leave me to go to work like this?” she asked. 

He leaned over the arm of the couch and placed a kiss on her forehead. “Take a cold shower,” he advised with a grin before walking out the door. 

Claire laid there for a minute, shaking her head at what had transpired that morning. She jumped up and got her phone, clicking quickly on his name. It rang once before he answered. 

“Yes?” 

“How cold will your shower be this morning?” she asked, a hidden smirk on her face. 

Jamie laughed on the other end. “Arctic.” 

She made a satisfied noise. “Good,” she said, nodding to herself. “Oh, and Jamie?” 

“Aye?” 

“Thanks for breakfast.” 

“Anytime, Sassenach,” he promised her. “How would ye feel about dinner too?” 

“Three meals in twenty-four hours?” Claire asked. “I think I’d be okay with that.” 

“Perfect. I’ll see ye tonight then.” 

Claire grinned. “I can’t wait.” 

* * *

In the weeks that followed, there had been many more meals together and, more importantly, many more makeout sessions on one of their couches. There was a silent agreement between them that things wouldn’t progress that far. Neither had to mention it to the other, but a line existed between them. Though they spent nearly all their free time together, they still had some awkward moments as they tried to get used to going from a friendship to a romantic relationship. 

It had been three weeks since they’d first kissed and admitted their feelings. Claire was up in Jamie’s flat, on his couch, and on top of him. His hands held firmly onto her ass, their new favorite place. She was kissing him, her tongue deep in his mouth. He moaned against her, clinging to her tighter. His hands started to drift, one sliding up and under her shirt, gliding against her skin. 

She sighed into his mouth at the heat of his hand against her bare back. Her hips pushed down and his rocked up to meet hers. She could feel him beneath her, straining and ready for more. Her mind flashed images of them together, no clothes between them. His arms pulled her further down to him, like he could read her mind. She couldn’t help but wonder if tonight might be the night they crossed that line. One of his hands came back around, grazing her breast and cupping it over the shirt. His thumb flicked against the nipple, making her grind her hips against him. 

“Ah dhia, Claire,” he groaned. She did it again, feeling him grow harder beneath her. If he kept making noises like that, she wasn’t going to be able to stop. He seemed to be feeling a similar way, as he held her firmly against him while he kissed his way across her chest. Both his hands found their way back under her shirt and she wondered if he was going to just strip it off of her. She wouldn’t hate it if he did. Her hands ran down his chest, before she brought him back in for a long, heated kiss. She continued to move her hips against his, teasing him, really. He moaned her name again, making her feel even more powerful. 

Her mind chose the very worst time to work against her. Jamie’s hand was weaving tightly in her hair, keeping her against him, while his other slid against her back. He sighed her name. But this time, she couldn’t help but wonder. How many other women have done this very same thing with him? They didn’t last very long. How long will we last?

She froze on top of him. Her mind brought her to a complete halt. Jamie’s hands moved to cup her face as he looked up at her, concern coloring his expression. “Are ye alright?” 

Claire nodded, unable to say anything else. She crawled off him, sitting at the other end of the couch. He sat up, staring at her. “We should take it slow,” she said. 

He nodded, trying to catch her eye so she knew he was fine with it. “Sassenach, that’s fine.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I mean, we have been.” 

She couldn’t look at him. “Then we should take it slower.” 

Jamie reached over, laying his hand just over hers. “Okay, then we will.” 

Tears built in her eyes as she looked over at him. “You’re okay with that?” 

He shook his head in confusion, scooting closer to her on the couch. Hesitantly wrapping an arm around her shoulders, he replied, “Of course. Whatever ye want.” 

She turned slightly toward him. “What about what you want?” 

“I want whatever ye want,” he insisted. 

Her arms wrapped around him, laying her head against his chest. “Thank you,” she whispered. 

“Dinna thank me,” he scoffed. He ran a hand up and down her back in a very different manner than he had just minutes ago. Now, he was clearly trying to comfort her, though he didn’t know why. He grabbed his remote and turned on the tv, handing it to her to pick what they watched. 

* * *

A few days later, Claire let herself into Jamie’s flat, feeling conflicted. He peeked around the corner of the kitchen and grinned when he saw it was her. “Sassenach! Ye’re just in time. I just finished dinner.” She walked into the kitchen, a blank look on her face. He kissed her quickly before he stood back. His brows knitted together as he took in her expression. “What’s the matter?” 

She sat herself down at his table with a sigh. He sat down with her. “I got the word today that everything is settled for the Edinburgh branch. I’ll be heading there on Sunday.” 

Looking over at him, she saw the fleeting moment where he looked crestfallen. But he quickly plastered on a smile and congratulated her. “Sassenach, that’s great!” 

She shot him a look. “Jamie, you don’t have to do that.” 

“Do what? Be happy for ye? Yer business is expanding. No matter what, no matter when, that’s great and exciting. I’m proud of ye,” he assured her. Standing up, he walked back over to the counter and grabbed two plates. He sat one down in front of her, noting her still morose expression. “Claire, this is a good thing.” 

She sighed. “I know it is. It’s just that the timing...the timing sucks.” 

He frowned, nodding in agreement. “Aye, it does. But that doesna mean ye shouldna be excited for this big opportunity.” 

“I know that too. We just started dating, though,” she reminded him. She picked up her fork, stabbing a vegetable. “I guess I just wish we’d had more time.” 

Jamie tilted his head, looking at her with a curious expression. “Are ye breaking up wi’ me?” She looked up, concerned until she saw his grin. “Because Edinburgh is no’ that far away. And I’ll still be here when ye get back.” He reached out and took her hand. “We can handle it. What about that time ye went to France and studied the art of baking for the summer before ye started medical school?” 

“We weren’t dating then,” she pointed out. 

He nodded. “Well, aye. But I still felt like I had to talk to ye all the time and we figured out a way to do that. And that had a time difference!” 

“Just an hour,” she reminded him with a laugh. 

He picked her hand up and kissed the back. “Claire, we’ll be fine. Tis no’ forever. Just a while.” 

Claire stood up out of her chair and walked over to sit in his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck, leaning in to kiss him softly. “Thank you,” she whispered. 

“What for?” 

She kissed him again quickly. “I don’t know, for being supportive.” Her hand laid against his cheek. “Not many boyfriends of three weeks would be that selfless.” 

“I canna say I’m being selfless, really,” he said, resting a hand on her leg. “I mean, I’ve been invested in yer bakery a lot longer than I’ve been invested in our relationship.” 

She laughed, laying her head against his shoulder. “You’re the best.” 

He turned his head to meet her gaze. “Ye just have to promise to come back to me. Ye canna find some handsome man in Edinburgh and then never return.” 

Claire snorted. “Well damn, that cancels out the plans I’d already made.” 

He laughed, squeezing her leg. “Dinna play wi’ my emotions like that.” 

She leaned forward and kissed his cheek. “There’s been no one else for ten bloody years. I think you’re fine.” Jamie’s face shifted and he opened his mouth to say something. Claire panicked that she’d said too much and kissed him instead. “I’ll be coming back,” she whispered. He nodded, holding her gaze. She gave him another quick kiss before she walked back to her own chair. 

“I suppose I’ll have to keep up my tradition,” Jamie said as they kept eating. 

“Your tradition?” 

“Of being the first in line at yer new store,” he reminded her. “I was the first in line for the first shop and then again for the second shop.” 

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Does doing something twice count as a tradition?” 

“Perhaps, no’. But that’s why I’ll have to do so on this one. Then it’s officially a tradition,” he promised with a smile. 

Claire shook her head, laughing at him. She looked down at her plate as she took another bite. “Did you plan on me being here tonight?” she asked, looking over at him.

“No, but I had plenty,” he said with a shrug. 

Her hand crept over and her fingers moved slowly up his arm. “Was my plate going to be your lunch tomorrow?” 

“Perhaps,” he replied offhandedly. “But I’d rather share it wi’ ye and just throw something together for lunch.” She squeezed his hand, a broad grin on her face. 

* * *

Sunday afternoon, they were standing outside the train station. Claire’s bags were on the ground next to her and her arms were wrapped tightly around Jamie. He kissed the top of her head, holding her. “I’ll come if ye’re no’ too busy,” he promised. “And we’ll talk on the phone.” He pulled her back slightly so he could meet her eyes. “Tis no’ like yer moving.” 

She nodded, tears in her eyes. “I know. But it’s gonna be a while before I’m back.” 

He leaned down and kissed her soundly. “I know. But we can manage. I promise.” 

Claire looked up at him, nodding halfheartedly. She surged up to kiss him again. Her arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him down. They staggered backwards a bit and his back hit his car. He sighed as her fingers tangled in his hair. 

They pulled apart just as quickly as they’d started. “I should go before I miss my train,” Claire said regretfully. 

“Aye, ye should.” He kissed her forehead. “Call me when ye get there, alright?” Claire nodded. “And ye know, any time ye’re bored after work.” She smiled. “Or if something notable happens. Or unnotable, really.” 

Claire reached up and wiped her lipstick off his lips. “Do you just want us to be on the phone any time we’re both not working?” 

He smiled, looking down. “Dinna tempt me wi’ such an offer.” He glanced over at the station. “Ye should get going.” 

They stared at each other, both of them holding back the sentiment they’d really like to say to the other. Claire nodded once, picking up her bags. “I’ll see you soon.” 

“Talk to ye sooner.” He leaned down and they kissed again before she had to walk into the station. Jamie stood there and watched her go, wishing he didn’t feel so miserable. But he knew that if that was the price to pay for getting to be with Claire, he’d gladly pay it. 

Next chapter

[mediocrity-at-best]

Eventually

Masterlist

Sanders Sides Fic

Warnings: implied rough past

Pairing: Logince

Words: 2,121

~~~~~

“Ready to get your ass kicked?” were the words Roman had uttered at the start of the night with a GameCube controller in hand, ready for a relaxing, easy win at a game that no one had ever beat him at. Logan had said, “Please. I was raised on Mario Kart. You wish you could beat me,” and aimed a rare smile just short of vicious at Roman. It had made his heart speed up and stumble, but he had shoved that whole mess back and grinned back as best he could before selecting a character.

But that had been a couple hours ago. Now, Roman finds himself the sore loser of a game that he thought he had in the bag. “Double or nothing!” he declares, throwing up his hand and almost losing his controller.

“We have not bet anything,” Logan says, but he doesn’t seem the least bit confused by Roman’s assertion. He leans back in the bean bag chair (he insisted he hated it but he had let Roman talk him into buying it, so really, who was the liar?) and smirks in that damn infuriating way that he always has. “But if you would like to figuratively lose more of your dignity, the choice is yours.”

Roman gasps in outrage and immediately selects his best character: Princess Daisy. “Oh, it is on like Donkey Kong,” he mutters. Logan snorts and selects his own favorite: Luigi. Not the worst choice he could make, but to ever imagine that Luigi could match Daisy in any way was, is, and always will be ludicrous.

“Which track?”

“It’s time to taste the rainbow,” Roman says. It’s his secret weapon, but when he was young he would play Rainbow Road for hours, over and over again. He can do this in his sleep. 

“I don’t - ah. Rainbow Road,” Logan says. “Interesting choice.” He settles into his seat as Lakitu drops down and the countdown begins. He looks far too smug for someone who is about to be dropped a couple steps down the totem pole, but Roman figures that will be rectified shortly. He doesn’t need to rub his imminent win in Logan’s face.

“Get ready to eat my dust,” Roman snarks anyway. He accelerates at the perfect moment and gets that extra boost of speed, but so does Logan. They are side by side for first place but it won’t keep up for too long. They speed around the bends like there’s no tomorrow, and for Logan’s Luigi, there isn’t. Roman swervs his car to the side and hits Logan. They bounce apart, but Logan flies off the track and has to be retrieved by Lakitu.

“Fuck you!” Logans exclaims, mashing the buttons on his controller despite knowing it won’t get him anywhere faster. Roman cackles and hits a speed boost, leaving Logan as far behind as he can. Logan continues to cuss as he finally gets dropped back on the track and promptly gets hit by a shell. Roman starts laughing so hard he almost drives over the edge of the road. He finishes the first lap in first place while Logan is still slowly working his way up the ranks from where he’d fallen to fifth.

Roman lets his eyes flit back and forth from his half of the screen to Logan’s, keeping a careful eye on where all the NPCs and his competition are. It’s only this that keeps Roman alive to the third lap. He sees when Logan hits an Item Box and gets a Spiny Blue Shell. As soon as he deploys it, Roman stops driving just long enough to be passed up by the Bowser in second place. The shell Logan threw takes him out and lets Roman begin his final lap still in first place with Logan muttering angrily under his breath.

“Get ready to taste defeat, nerd,” Roman says, smirking. Logan doesn’t respond, but he does hunch over his controller even more, eyes laser focused on the screen.

Logan climbs the ranks as they race toward the finish line, and he hits a speed boost that Roman missed. Suddenly, he’s feeling a lot less secure in his win. In the end, though, it doesn’t matter. He makes it barely a second before Logan does and nearly throws his controller down in his sheer excitement over winning.

“Fuck!” Logan exclaims. “You are a dirty cheater.” He is pouting, as much as he might say he’s above such juvenile expressions. Roman laughs outright at him.

“I am a squeaky clean winner, and-” He cuts off and hits Logan’s hand out of the air as it nears him. Logan flinches back, eyes wide and obviously stung. He pulls his hand to his chest, cradling it and Roman realizes that he hadn’t really softened his blow at all when Logan had most likely just been trying to be friendly.

“Shit,” Roman says, face flooding with heat while Logan stares at him, hurt. “I am so sorry, Logan. I didn’t even think, I’m-” He forces himself to stop talking. He’s not going to make any sense if he just keeps going without knowing what he’s trying to get across first.

“Maybe I should go,” Logan says stiffly, setting his control on the ground. It’s a ridiculous thing to say because Logan lives here, too, they’re roommates but it makes Roman’s heart stutter and stop for all the wrong reasons for just a second.

“No, no, please,” he says desperately. “That was on me, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to, I just wasn’t expecting it. I was-I was surprised.” He holds Logan’s eyes, as uncomfortable and embarrassed as he feels because he knows it means a lot to Logan when someone will look him in the eyes.

“I do not believe that was the only problem,” Logan says slowly. He examines Roman intently. “If you wish to explain what the real problem is, I am more than willing to listen and talk. If not, I will be going on a walk. The choice is yours.” He waits for a moment.

“I…” Roman hesitates, flounders. He can feel the heat in his cheeks increasing. “My family was never...never the touchy-feely type,” he offers haltingly. “In fact, it was quite the opposite. And you’ve seen my brother. We were never very...nice to each other. I’m not quite used to...friendly contact.” Roman hopes that is sufficient enough for Logan to drop the topic, for Roman to change the subject before he gets so embarrassed that he melts into a puddle of unattractive goo or Logan makes some scathing remark as he is so wont to do and Roman has to deal with this moment of vulnerability being betrayed and crushed as has been the case so many times before.

Though he can’t help but feel that here and now it might be a deserved reaction.

“Oh,” Logan says, looking surprised then regretful. Roman doesn’t know how to explain why that reaction jolts him. “You act so much like my brothers that I just assumed-well. That is an oversight on my part. I apologize, Roman, for not considering that you may be comfortable with a different level of physical contact than I am. I will adjust my behavior to accommodate you, if you wish to touch less.”

“I don’t want to bother you,” Roman starts. He’s thoroughly surprised but that is not the priority and neither is the way his heart stutters with every word Logan says. It is not relevant to this conversation (but he can’t help but hope that it might be relevant to them eventually). “You shouldn’t have to-”

“Nonsense,” Logan says. He ignores Roman when he tries to speak again and says, “You are not bothering or inconveniencing me at all. I like to know how to make my friends comfortable, and for you, if that means you would like us to maintain a less tactile relationship, that is fine. You are under no obligation to me to be, as you put it, touchy-feely, for any reason. Or to anyone else, for that matter.” Logan smiles one of his rare, genuine smiles. Roman feels his breath catch in his throat at the look, but just as quickly as it’s there it’s gone. “Okay?” he asks quietly.

“Uh, yeah, Specs. I gotcha. Thanks.” Roman drops his hand back to the controller in his lap. He plucks nervously at the button for a moment before picking it up. “Again?” he asks softly.

“Of course,” Logan says. “But this time it will be you who eats my figurative dust.” Logan eases himself back into the bean bag chair and Roman gets so distracted by watching him relax so fully and replaying all the things he just said in his head that he misses the start of the race and is immediately off to a disadvantage. He laughs though, and Logan does too.

They banter for the rest of the night, and it does not matter to Roman that he does not win another race. Logan doesn’t mention that it is two a.m. and that they have classes the next day and Roman knows they will both probably sleep through their alarms.

“I will see you in the morning,” Logan says, nodding to Roman. He places the controllers carefully back where they go in the entertainment center and stretches, shirt lifting to reveal a thin strip of his stomach. Roman blushes and looks away hurriedly, but he clears his throat as Logan starts to walk away. They are only standing a couple feet apart, and Roman feels oddly present. Maybe it’s the exhaustion talking or maybe it is that Logan saw him and did not look away, but there is something Roman has to say that he can’t stop from coming out.

“Hey, Lo?” he says.

“Yes, Roman?”

“I think I’d like to be able to touch you,” he says. He can’t quite meet his eyes this time, so he focuses on Logan’s lips instead. “I like you and-and I really think I’d like to kiss you.”

“I like you, too,” Logan says, and those lips twist into a tiny, almost invisible smile. “And I’d like to kiss you, if it wouldn’t make you uncomfortable. You do not have to push yourself for me.”

“Oh,” Roman says faintly, but still he takes one step closer so that he is in Logan’s space. Logan is barely taller, but it’s just enough that Roman has to tilt his head a little to look into his eyes, this close. “I’m not, I promise. Just once…?”

Logan slowly closes the small distance between them, giving Roman every opportunity he could ever want to say no, to back out, to realize that he was not ready for a kiss yet. But it’s something he has wanted for so long, wanted and not quite believed he could get, and he does not pull away. He lifts to his toes and meets Logan’s lips with a chaste kiss that cannot last the eternity that it feels like. Roman smiles at him when they pull away.

“Maybe,” he says quietly, “we can do that again, eventually.”

“I would really like that,” Logan says. He pauses and Roman can see the gears turning in his head, the nerd. “Perhaps, if you wish, I could assist you in becoming more comfortable with touching. Only if you want.”

“I think I’d really like that.” Roman says the words, but he’s not expecting Logan to hook his pinkie around Roman’s in the sweetest expression of emotion he’s ever experienced. It sends a jolt of fireworks up his arm, and it’s scary but sort of pleasant. He definitely does like it.

“I’ll see you in the morning,” Logan says. He moves slowly and rests his forehead against Roman’s for just a second. “Good night, Roman. I hope your dreams are deserving of you.”

“Night, Lo,” Roman echoes and they go to their separate rooms. Roman is sure that in the morning they will talk more and possibly even hold hands if he wants to, but for now he is still riding the high of being touched so tenderly, of being so seen, of getting so much from someone he has always wanted. It is with a smile that Roman falls asleep that night, and with a smile that he greets the next day, and with a smile that he and Logan brush hands through breakfast and talk about them instead of going to class. It is with a smile that Roman will eventually hold hands and kiss and hug Logan, and eventually, it will not be such a feat. But for the next day, Roman smiles and knows that eventually can wait.

[voidendron]

Deep Blue Sea: Ch 14

Chapter 14: Officer Keen Subnautica/JSE Egos Crossover

(( Disclaimer: I uh. Lost my paper where I’d written down what triggers all of the events in the game and don’t have the patience to make a new one or rewatch/replay a whole playthrough before continuing the fic- ^^” so yeah, I might write some things out of order without meaning to. I’ll try to look up things in the wiki when I remember to, though ))

Warnings: None Characters: Jackieboy Man, Chase Brody, Marvin the Magnificent POV: Jackieboy Man

They had the Seamoth blueprint, as with one for the mobile vehicle bay. They just needed to be built.

Jackie was grinning. He’d found the last piece for the vehicle bay. Now he just needed to toss all the supplies for it at their fabricator so Chase and Marvin could get the Seamoth pieces ready for it.

“Hey James!” Jackie glanced over his shoulder when Chase called for the chef. “You wanna get a radio put up on one of the walls?”

“Of course,” Jameson signed, grabbing a builder out of one of the lockers. Damn were they organized so nicely now. Jackie was glad the man had done that; they could actually find the stuff they needed now!

The radio finished right about as the fabricator was finishing with the mobile vehicle bay. The light was blinking and Jackie grimaced.

“Uh…none of us have been up to Pod Five for a while, have we?” Jackie asked. Someone cleared his throat and there was a lot of shaking heads. “Let’s hear it. Hopefully we’re not too late.”

Jameson jammed his thumb into the button and stepped back.

“Playing pre-recorded distress call...”

A voice—a human voice—spoke over the radio, “This is Officer Keen in Lifepod 19! The captain is gone. I have assumed command. The last thing the captain did was give me co-ordinates for dry land. We regroup one and a half kilometers southwest of the crash site. Stay together. Good luck. This message will now repeat.”

Keen’s voice gone just as quickly as it was there, everyone’s PDAs chirped with, “Rendezvous coordinates corrupted. Transmission origin coordinates downloaded.”

Silence.

Jackie was the first to break it. “…Did he say dry land?”

“He said southwest from the ship, but the coordinates got all effed up.” Chase shook his head and smacked his PDA’s screen. “But…we’ve got a signal for Pod Nineteen’s exact location. We head there, maybe we’ll find Keen or at least the coordinates he tried to send.”

“And,” the security guard added, “the mobile vehicle bay’s finished. Could take a Seamoth once we’ve got it built ‘cause that’s a long way.”

Marvin crossed his arms. “They’re single-person, aren’t they? Who’s gonna go down there?”

The others glanced between each other, but Jackie only shrugged. “I mean. How hard can it be to pilot one? I’ll go.”

“Seamoth’s gonna start with a depth max of…200 meters, I think?” Chase gestured at the bulkhead locked tight; just beyond it was the hatch that would take them outside the habitat. “You’re not a good swimmer, but you’d have to swim the rest of the way to Nineteen.”

“I’ll bring a Seaglide. Besides, we don’t know what’s down that way. One of us gets attacked, best that it’s me; at least I’ve got a chance of defendin’ myself.”

“Okay. Fair enough.” He gestured for Marvin, then, “You get the vehicle bay up to the surface. We’ll start bringin’ the supplies topside.”

Back-and-forth, back-and-forth, to and from the habitat and vehicle bay. If the Seamoth needed this many supplies, Jackie could just hope they wouldn’t need a Cyclops. He didn’t even want to think about how much it would need. That is, if they could even piece together a blueprint for one. Those things were apparently massive.

One last metal, then the little robots set into the vehicle bay got to work.

Jackie arched a brow. “Are they…supposed to build it so high outta the water?”

Chase looked just as perplexed as he probably did. “I have no idea.”

A little above the surface, sure. The little robots probably didn’t want the vehicle flooding after all, but that high? Ah well. As long as they were doing what they were supposed to, then whatever.

“I’d get off the vehicle bay if I were you.” Both men glanced back over their shoulders; Marvin was treading water a little ways away.

“…Why—”

Jackie’s question was cut short when the Seamoth dropped into the water, its splash causing the bay to rock violently and throw both of them off of it. The security guard floundered back up to the surface, coughing and spluttering, and could hear Marvin laughing even through the water in his ears.

“Told you.”

“How’d you know that would happen?”

“Because gravity’s a thing and big objects make big splashes?”

“You suck.”

The entertainer only laughed. “Yeah, yeah. Just take these,” he shoved the Seaglide that had been floating next to him at Jackie, as well as a water bottle and first aid kit. “Find Keen or those coordinates.”

“If you die, we’ll kill you,” Chase added helpfully as he tossed a rebreather at Jackie. When the repairman had gone back into the habitat to grab it, he had no idea.

Jackie snorted. “Okay, all right! I’ll be careful. …Uh. Mind helpin’ me get these in the Seamoth?” A poor swimmer with his arms full. That wasn’t a disaster waiting to happen, he thought with a chuckle.

Rebreather on, first aid and Seaglide in easy reach, water bottle at his hip, broken flare pinned between his back and the seat for easy grabbing as he got out. How hard could this be?

The submersible lurched forward before he stopped it. Okay. A little touchy, but you’ve got this, he thought. He waved to his comrades through the windshield, held up his PDA and moved it until the signal for Nineteen came onscreen, then eased the Seamoth forward.

You’ve got this. Just…don’t crash into anything. Easy.

The Seamoth took off.

Deeper, darker, heartbeat in his ears. This place gave him a bad feeling.

Bioluminescence. It stood out here, with the waters so dark. Trenches, that seemed to stretch on into darkness. Tight spaces that could render the Seamoth trapped and leave its pilot with a long way to the surface.

Jackie swallowed.

The Seamoth’s warning beep startled him. He pulled back until the beeping stopped. He’d reached its limit. His turn.

He made sure his rebreather was sealed, Seaglide at full charge, tucked his “spear” under one arm.

Deep breath.

The windshield cracked itself open to allow the cabin to flood slowly, then swung up completely. When Jackie pushed it shut again, vents in the sides of the submersible activated to drain the water.

He could see Nineteen. It was still so far. He had plenty of air, but who knows what creatures were down here.

Just go, Jackie, he thought. Don’t let your fear get to you.

The Seamoth dragged him through the water. Closer. Closer.

His stomach dropped when he saw the side torn open. Oh, god. Please tell me Keen got outta there?

Down, down—

A yelp was left muffled by his mouthpiece was something zipped past him. Another, a third. Where was it—there! A plant was—

He cursed, the word sounding like nonsense with his helmet. That plant—it shot needles? He bit down on the mouthpiece and yanked one out of his thigh. As the plant kept firing the sharp little projectiles, Jackie darted the last stretch for the lifepod; he could hear one last needle strike the metal when he got inside, then the plant stopped.

He grabbed his scanner from his hip and scanned the needle he’d been struck with. No venom. Good. Just a sharp little bugger. He’d have to warn the others to watch out for those plants. Who knew a plant could be so feisty?

With the light on his Seaglide shining bright, he swept it through the pod, looking for signs of—there! A little data log. Not a PDA. That’s a good sign. It told him Keen might have gotten out and taken his PDA with him.

Jackie snatched up the log and inserted it into his PDA.

Keen’s voice carried over from the device, “To all crew: If you are reading this then you have followed the automatic distress signal broadcast by this lifepod's onboard computer, contrary to my orders.” Jackie rolled his eyes. Can’t really follow his orders if the coordinates were corrupted; that’s why I’m here in the first place! he thought. “I have been forced to evacuate. Your orders are to disregard my safety and attempt to reach the designated rendezvous co-ordinates at the nearest landmass. I hope to see you there.”

His PDA chirped. Coordinates. Actual coordinates to dry land.

Jackie would have grinned if not for the rebreather.

He was just about to go darting back to the Seamoth when a light next to the pod caught his eye. He reached for it—flipping off the plant when a needle nearly caught his hand—and snatched it up before making a beeline back to his vehicle. The moment the water drained from the cabin, he threw the helmet off and inserted the new data file into his PDA.

“Ultra high capacity tank?” The blueprint downloaded immediately. Well, that’s one less thing to worry about.

Now, he really did grin. Keen was probably alive on the landmass (the dry land he now had coordinates for!). Maybe other survivors were there, too.

Jackie just had to get back to their habitat and share the good news.

[nebula-starlight]

JSE Fanfiction - Fractured (pt 5: Restore)

First: [P] / Previous: [4] 

Entry Log _ 

I swore this would never happen. The static... I lost myself at the worst possible moment.

The surge of power was too strong. It... It shattered his eye socket and severely burned the surrounding skin of his forehead. Should he survive I...

Who am I kidding? At this point it will take a miracle to bring him back. He’s alive, yes, but barely.

Still I have to do something... The tank hasn’t helped much but he is now stable enough to a point where I can try another method. If Subject 2 can use magic... or is able to manifest such a skill then I must try.

I cannot lose him. There’s not enough left of my soul to try and create another being. And it would crush the other...

——

His steps were weary as he made his way from the room that contained the once again risen containment tank, the weight of the situation he faced alone seeming to sap the strength right out of him as he headed towards the rather quiet cell.

Several times he had to pause and lean against the wall for support, his hands shaking so badly he had no choice but to cram them into the pockets of his gray tunic to prevent anyone from seeing the side effect of using too much magic. He hadn’t properly slept since the accident and kept replaying it over and over again in his head. How could he have been so stupid? Of course a stunned growth would affect other areas of the body as well!

Reaching the room where the other subject was, he looked in and observed the situation before he spoke. 2-J was curled up in a ball in one of the corners and... Was there tear tracks on his face? He wasn’t sure, the flickering light made it difficult to see properly.

“2-J... Your brother...”

How was he exactly going to explain this? Surely Jack had to think his sibling was never coming back at this point. And he had never been left alone for so long either. Inching closer, he waited for a reaction but received none. Not that he was surprised truthfully. The first time coming close to death or the loss of one so familiar always left a mark more impactful than anything he could do.

“He’s not coming back... He left me all alone to suffer...”

Those were definitely tears then. Perhaps a part of him felt bad but he had made his choice long ago and would see it through to the end. No matter the cost...

“Come with me, Subject 2.”

“Why should I? So you can end me too?” The only sign he seemed to move was the slight shift of his head, one eye now visible as it flared blue. So he’d have to do it the hard way then. He wasn’t all that surprised really.

“Stop being childish. It was an-“ Seán stopped himself, clearing his throat with a cough before he continued. “What happened wasn’t supposed to occur. The procedure was only to strengthen his magic, nothing more.”

Subject 2 only curled up tighter on the floor, hands clasped around his knees. It did not matter whether the story was believed or not. That did not bother him; he had come to collect him regardless.

“I have no time for this. Get up!”

Magic flickered to life in his outstretched palm, lifting the uncooperative boy into the air before sputtering out. Luckily 2-J steadied himself on his own feet, head lowering away from the disapproving glare staring him down as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“Your magic isn’t working...”

He huffed, shoving the hand back into the pocket of his tunic. “I’ve had to expend quite a bit of energy lately. Otherwise I’d drag you there myself.” Opening the door to the cell, he gestured for the captive to follow with a jerk of his head. “Although in your case if I said exactly where we were going you’d likely pester me with endless questions.”

“And where are we going?” There was a spark of enthusiasm back in 2-J’s voice, enough to bring out a brief but just as quickly fading smile.

“To see your brother. You may be more use to me than I originally thought...”

The footsteps that had slowly begun to echo behind him now stopped and he sighed under his breath. It better not signal a raging storm of chatter from the boy. As if he needed a headache on top of everything else going on. What he wouldn’t give for some coffee right about now.

“You said you’d fix him. Stop the noise, stop his pain... You promised!” The unexpected voice crack startled him nearly as badly as it did Jack who seemed to retreat into himself for a moment before he started to walk again. “Why do you say I can help when all you ever tell me is how much of a disappointment I am compared to my brother...? You know, the same one you must have hurt pretty badly to need me.”

He needed to get back to 1-A. They were wasting time but yet... Was this the first time he had ever seen Jack even show a sign of rebelling? Perhaps he was smarter than he’d given credit. Well there was only one way to find out...

“If you would observe before you spoke then perhaps my judgement of you would not be as severe. Nevertheless, we are wasting valuable time. Your job is to heal him.”

He had already stopped and was punching in the code to open the door when he heard the clear whine of protest start up from behind him. For 2-J to have picked up on what was expected so quickly... Well it was certainly an interesting development to say the least.

“But how? I can’t use magic! Not like you can...”

He said nothing, the cold steel sliding open to admit both of them. Luckily he had enough forethought to get Anti out of the stasis tube and onto his side on the floor. So far the only progress had been that he managed to reconstruct the bone missing - although that had left his hand spasming for hours from the tiny incision to scrape off the necessary replacement.

“Brother!” The cry darted past him as Jack sprinted over to Anti, lifting his head and pressing it against his chest. Nothing needed to be said for the familiar feeling of magic to weave through the air as a surge of faint blue light engulfed the two siblings.

There was no explanation needed... just as he thought.

——

It took several minutes before the glow sputtered and died. In its place, however, was an equally weak spark of green that burned with an intensity rather unexpected. And while it started in his chest - a rekindling of his soul no doubt - it soon ignited his one remaining eye.

The shorter of the duo became alert with a coughing fit, clutching to the arms that curled around him as the movement drew attention to the fact that he was awake. Jack immediately perked up, squeezing tighter in delight that his sibling was back from what almost had been his death.

“Hey... Hey, it’s okay. You did great.” Anti weakly murmured once the spasm had finished, patting his brother’s arm before chuckling breathlessly at the realization of what had just happened. “Well looks like you’ve got magic. One of us needs it so it’s probably better you ended up with it than me. Now stop holding so tight, bro.”

Jack reluctantly did so, still holding onto Anti’s arms as the smaller ego shuddered, straining to catch his breath. “But you died!”

“He did not, I assure you. To die means you no longer exist. If he had, his soul wouldn’t have ignited so strongly. Truly your brother brought you back from the edge of death, Subject 1.”

Neither had even realized the third individual still in the room, observing silently the interaction until Jack happened to suggest his brother had died. Once he spoke, however, all of the once playful banter between them stopped immediately.

“You didn’t get what you wanted, did you?” There was a fine edge of anger that flickered through Anti’s voice as he looked up at their cloaked creator, his remaining eye sparking green. “I’m still around so I take that as a no.”

“What?” Concerned blue eyes flickered up to the silent figure observing them. “But you said you were helping him... Why do you want him gone?”

Seán said nothing at first, only taking off his glasses and placing them inside an interior pocket on his cloak so the true extent of the facial scar would show. Once the full appearance of the septic eye was revealed, he barely repressed a smirk at how Jack tried to shield his weakened brother by lifting him closer to his chest. There wasn’t any of the resistance he had suspected would come from 1-A but that was none of his concern.

For now a lesson needed to be taught... One he hoped would only be needed once.

His hand lifted, sparks flickering into existence around the two as the septic eye glowed brighter in the mostly dark space. “If either of you refuse to obey... there will be consequences. I am in no mood to humor any resistance today. Now get up and come with me.”

“And if we don’t? What then?”

He should not of had to guess who spoke. The same one who had nearly been killed because of that persistent static he emitted subconsciously. Was he even aware of how problematic it had become? How that noise interfered with his plans on a level he had not originally adjusted to compensate for?

“Then you will be treated as little more than failed subjects and swiftly eliminated. Now choose... or say your final words!”

The sparks of light glowed eerily like orbs, encircling the pair as Seán stood silent with his one hand outstretched and watched to see how they’d respond. Would they attempt to outright rebel? The countless possibilities fascinated him. Even he would be panicking had the situation been turned but they were... doing nothing. Or was that the feeling of magic in the air? Not his but close... A derivative of-

“You will not touch him!”

The blue shield came up surprisingly quick, surrounding them as the eyes of the producer of the energy glowed with the spark of a desire to protect. He was actually speechless for a moment, noticing how complex a pattern it was despite being the first true attempt of Jack’s apparently chosen magic. A defender... It was an odd choice but not one he was overly surprised at if he was honest.

“My, my, you do have potential. Aren’t you just full of so many surprises today?” He started to approach, hand shaking with an all too visible tremor as the orbs faded. “Why don’t you lower that so we can talk? I’m sure your brother is thrilled to be relieving that time he spent in stasis thanks to you. Of course he was out for most of it but that feeling of pressure never truly fades, does it?” A brief spark of green flickered inside the protective shell as the only sign his taunting was heard but it was enough to urge him on further. “Just the same as that noise he claims he can’t hear... I’m certain you know the one. That ever so soft buzzing right in the back of your skull. It’s enough to drive you to... do things.”

His lips split apart, teeth stained from lack of proper dental care but still breaking into that recognizable smile. Anti squirmed against his brother’s grip, struggling to slip free as the glow powering the shield began to falter slightly. Taking advantage of the weakening defense, he continued to advance toward them.

“He’s braver than you will ever be.”

The low rasp that graced his ears ignited further that primal desire in him for obedience. It had only seemed to manifest once he begun creating the seven but he wasn’t worried about any sort of magical backlash from trying to push his energy farther than it already was going. They all were his and would belong to him forever. It was why he put the tracking tattoos on every single one after all.

“And what makes you think that? His shield wouldn’t hold up against an attack I assure you.”

There was a definite flicker to the aforementioned protective barrier as though something rippled across its surface briefly. “Then why won’t you be the one to break it? Too scared?”

“Bro, no... don’t...”

The warning came too late. With a growl, Seán finished crossing the distance in two long strides and brought his hand up. All it took was a simple poke with his finger to shatter the shield, sending shards raining down around them as Jack shrank back in fright. There was no mistaking the fire that blazed in the depths of their Creator’s eyes.

“You think you can play the hero,” he spat, grabbing the now shaking subject by the fabric of his tunic and lifting him up so Anti would drop onto the floor as a result. “Every single fucking time! Even when I had the channel - as brief as it was - they still preferred you over me. And you were just a character then, not even real. Just an air of fake positivity. A mask if you want to call it that.”

The glow from his septic eye dimmed quickly, Seán finally jerking back after a moment as he dropped Jack on the way to pull his hand against his chest. He stepped back, shaking his head as he muttered something under his breath too low to be heard. Watching how the two brothers sought each other out and clung to the other like a lifeline, he huffed and dug his other hand into his hair.

“Just go back to confinement. We... will deal with this later.”

Next: [6] 

[arc-17]

Darkness - Part 1

A Choices Whodunnit Fandom Fanfic

Introduction: This is set within the Alternate Universe @rr-roe-es aka @choiceswhodunnit 's game here within the fandom, starting right before the third murder and prior events are covered in flash back here. Before continuing on in the other parts, 2, 3, etc. of this fic series. This is VERY AU obviously since some of these characters lived at different times (Kenna Rys specifically) and well… have, or will be dying LOL! Since the premise of this whole event has sparked my interest, and I’ve really loved working with everyone on these mysteries, and gotten a bit of my old Role Playing skills up and running again, I decided to write the events as if they were really happening to the characters, within this AU, from Ryan’s point of view. So… without further ado, here it goes. ~~~~~~~~~~~ Darkness. It was within and without, in his thoughts, his dreams when they did happen, and in the room around him. He’d never felt anything like this, but… he’d also never experienced anything like this before. Not before coming here that is, to this castle, before getting trapped in this… psychopathic murderous game. Hollywood Actor Ryan Summers rolled over in his bed, unable to sleep despite the ridiculously posh and warm surroundings, had the situation been different; it would have been a dream trip. But instead, his fellow guests have been getting killed one by one while he and the other survivors get to play Sherlock Holmes and figure out how the killer has been committing the murders. Obviously it’s one of them, Kenna was the only person he knew coming here and he’d trust her with his life. It could be the staff, but knowing Kenna, she’d only have people she’d trust with her life, so no, it can’t be one of them. “…I am among you...” The first note had said, and it was the first of many he was to find out. Ryan got up and walked over to his window, reflexively testing to see if it too was locked from the outside, just in case. It wasn’t, and he opened it a crack and left it open. Moving back he sat on the edge of his bed as the previous two day’s events replayed them in his mind.

~

Stepping out of the limo, Ryan pauses to take in his surroundings, the crisp fall air of the open country estate surrounding him as he took a deep breath, enjoying the lack of city smell as he took a moment, straightening the cuffs of his Armani Tuxedo. With a soft whistle he took in the sight before him of the sprawling age old structure, a castle built in a by gone era “Haven’t seen a castle like this since I was in The Prince of Dragons! You ever see that one Jeffrey?” He says to the valet as he closes the door for him. “I cannot say that I have sir, but you’ll find the lady of the house inside, just this way.” He motions for Ryan to follow, another servant taking care of his baggage. Upon entering the grand foyer he spots her immediately, closing the distance to give her a hug. “Kenna! It’s been to long!” Ryan grins, planting a kiss on her cheek as they parted. “Ryan, it’s good to see you, tell me how is Cassandra?” She smiled though, it didn’t reach her eyes which he should have noticed, like there was a sadness she was hiding, but he discounted it entirely. “She is doing wonderful, as always, has her Pilot’s License now, I think when the examiner found out what she did in that damaged Jet with Dave and Sam it helped.” He chuckled. “That is good to hear” she said looking over his shoulder at some more guests arriving. She then gave his had a slight squeeze. “Maybe… if,” she shook her head. “I’d like to hear about your friend’s Sam and Dave, later some time if you don’t mind.” “Of course, It’s quite the tale, the adventure that those two get themselves into” he chuckled and then moved aside as she went to great the others, watching the other guests arrive, taking an offered glass of wine as a waiter walked by. There were a few faces he recognized, though didn’t know them personally, such as Leo, former Prince of Cordonia. The tabloids were alive with the goings on there and the “contest” for his Brother’s hand in marriage and the crown. He knew personally how unforgiving the press could be, and how hard it was to keep one’s personal life private. And then there was also Benjamin Park, the writer. He was a fan, though he tried to keep it low key. And he’d heard rumors through his friend Dave that one of his comics would wind their way to the big screen, where Ryan hoped he’d get the chance to get a part. He made a mental note to talk to him later. Having finished his glass while surveying the group, Ryan sets it aside and taps who he supposed was a passing waiter. “Pardon me son, when you have a moment, I’ll take a Manhattan, but eh, make it the top shelf stuff” He says with a wink. The young man furrows his brows, “I am off the clock. Get your own drink!” he says briskly then, pauses realizing who was in front of him he beams and the next words almost fell out of his mouth all at once. “Oh boy! Love your work sir! I’ll be back in a second with the Manhattan, sir!” Ryan laughed, resting an arm on his shoulder to have him wait, having given him a full look to see he wasn’t dressed like Kenna’s staff, and had a drink of his own. “Woah easy there friend! My apologies, I mistook you for one of Kenna’s crew here, but I see that is not the case. My name’s Ryan Summers but I guess you already knew that.” He smiles extending his hand in greeting. “I’m Daniel, waiter by day, and family friend of Kenna’s… any other time!” Daniel says, grinning ear to ear as he shook his hand. “And say, let’s work together! I’m game for an alliance” Ryan chuckles again, the young man’s infectious enthusiasm for this adventure impressing him. “An Alliance eh? Excellent because I have no idea why we are here, other than this is some sort of special Mystery game, event, thing, with mandatory attendance.” “Hey, any excuse for a party is a good one, am I right? Cheers!” Daniel clinks his glass against Ryan’s.

It looked as if this kid, Daniel, was a ball of anxiety and excitement. He probably was relieved to not only have a night finally off, but to have something to do on top of it. “Well said!” Ryan grins. “Cheers!” He returns, meeting his glass to his. He then pauses; taking a sip as he took a glance around the room then motioned with his glass. “You know anyone here? I only know Kenna, our host, though I recognize a couple of the other guests.” “Some of them are familiar. But, I’ve worked so many places, I’m not sure if we met or it is just Deja vu.” Daniel answered, looking across the room, taking it all in. “Mhm! True” Ryan nodded, taking another sip. “The faces do start to blur after a while, after so many get-togethers and shindigs. Well, it’s been a pleasure,” Ryan said extending his hand again, “I’m gonna go see if I can speak with our hostess and see where they took my luggage. I’ll be seeing you around Daniel.” He says with a warm smile, which Daniel returned as Ryan left; weaving is way through the guests. While he was looking for Kenna, he stopped when a tall young man tapped him on the shoulder. “Excuse me, Mr. Summers? I was wondering if you had a moment. My name’s Sean Gayle and-” he was saying, extending his hand in greeting when Ryan interrupted him, his face lighting up as he recognizes the young man, taking his hand and shaking it, clapping him on the shoulder warmly as well. “Hey! Sean? As in The Sean Gayle #5?! Heck yeah! I’m a big fan of yours!” “Yep, that’s me- Wait, you’ve heard of me? That’s awesome! I’m a big fan of your work!”

“Awesome buddy! So uh… got any clue what’s going on here? Kenna is being all… mysterious about why she invited us here, other than the whole mystery thing. Personally I think she’s been reading too many Agatha Christie Novels.” Sean shook his head “To be honest, I’m pretty confused by it all. Half these people are from my college, but the rest I don’t know. Do you recognize anyone?” “Kenna’s the only one I actually know, but I recognize Benjamin Park over there, he’s the one with glasses. He’s a writer.” Ryan said with a quick nod. “I think I’ve seen some of Benjamin Park’s work. He works in comics, right?” “Yes, comics, and good ones if you haven’t read them yet.” Sean nodded. “I’ve read a couple here and there- a friend of mine is a collector.” Ryan smiled “Really? Hmm... I’d like to meet him some time then. Keep this on the down low but I am a fan too. Just like to keep a few things away from the paparazzi, if you know what I mean.” “I’m sure my friend would love to meet you- he’s a great guy. And oh, I understand. It’s hard when everyone seem to know every detail about you.” Ryan nods in agreement, looking around a moment, taking a sip of his wine when he spots another face he knew. “So as far as others I recognize… hmm ah! And over there is one of the Princes of Cordonia, I believe the one that abdicated the throne. The cute one with him in the pink dress looks familiar too but I can’t place where I’ve seen her.” Sean looks over at Leo and the Lady Hana, as he later found out was her name, frowning slightly in thought. “I thought he looked familiar- he used to be on all the gossip websites. I’ve no clue who the girl is, though. His girl, maybe?” he said with a shrug then turns slightly, and points across the room. “The red head over there is my friend Quinn, and the girl with her is Michelle. We actually just got back from…. an Island getaway, so we nearly missed out on this.” Ryan smiles as he looks over at Sean’s friends. “An island getaway with those two? That sounds rather romantic. Reminds me of the time I played a down on his luck smuggler in the South Seas, got the worst sunburn though.” Sean laughed, “Romantic is the farthest thing from it I’m afraid- we were with a group, and some of the people there weren’t our biggest fans… ” He laughs again, “And sunburn is something I’ve been lucky enough to avoid in life.. You got to always slip slop slap!” “Yeah, you got that right! And the natives were restless eh?” Sean grins slightly “Just a little. But they turned out to be pretty great people once they got to know us. Sean then looked around, brows furrowed for a moment. "On a serious note… any clue what we all have in common? Seems like a weird group.” Ryan shrugged. “As for this group, your guess is as good as mine. You know Kenna our host?” Sean shook his head, scratching the back of his neck. “I know of her, but we haven’t met until tonight. I thought tonight may be something to do with Hartfeld, like a fundraiser… but it doesn’t seem like it.” Ryan nodded “Same impression I had, fundraising but… no long winded speeches and checkbooks spotted yet, guess we’ll find out together then” Sean laughs warmly “Yes! And so far nobody has come over to shower me in compliments, which is usually the big sign they’d like me to be generous.” He then goes quiet a moment, sipping his drink thoughtfully before changing the subject. “So tell me, how do you know Kenna?” “I met Kenna a ways back at a promotional event for one of my films, her and my friend Cass knew each other and kind of went from there, been friends since. She’s also lent the studio some of the artifacts in her collection for use in the films I’ve been in. And I think they want to use this castle at some point as well.” “Oh wow, that’s great!” Sean grins. “It would be amazing to see some of the artifacts she has- the history behind them would be incredible. I’m surprised they haven’t already used the castle- have you been here before?” Ryan nodded his agreement “Honestly I would like to see them as well. May not look it but a bit of a history buff myself. And no, this is my first time here actually.” Sean smiled thoughtfully as he continued “I think we’re all secretly a history buff. I only just recently became a fan of it myself.” He pauses, sipping his drink and he looks around at the others. “From what a few of the others here have said, nobody has been here before.” From what Ryan could tell, Sean clearly had some misgivings of this whole event, and was on edge, looking around and this crease of a frown always at his temples, something was nagging at him, but it wasn’t for Ryan to pry into. He’d only just met the guy after all. “Then it shall be a new adventure for all of us then.” He responded. Sean sighs, running his hand over his forehead. “I guess I should check in on Michelle and Quinn, see how they’re doing.” He smiled slightly to himself as he looks over at them. “If I’m honest, I hate this kind of thing, so I’m glad to have them here.” Ryan follows his gaze and smiles, then with a final sip he emptied his glass then setting it aside, he extends his hand again. “Well, I’m going to go do the rounds and see if I can’t sweet talk one of the servants into telling me when dinner is going to be served and when I find out more I’ll let you know. And maybe later we can get a chance to see that famous Number Five throwing arm in action!” Sean flashes a smile, shaking his hand firmly. “Sounds great- if you find out, let me know. I’m starving.” He laughs slightly. “And if you can find a football I’ll be more than happy to throw it around! Might break a few things in here though, so best take it outside.” “It’s a deal then! I’ll find a football, and then introduce me to your friends over dinner.” Ryan smiles with a wave as he moves off to continue his search for Kenna or one of the servants. “I’ll see you at dinner!” Sean nods in response, smiling back before moving off to meet some of the other guests. The rest of the night was a little blurry for him at the moment; he remembers meeting a couple other people, James another student at Hartfield University, a writer, who had written the script for that Indi Film that Hollywood was buzzing about. Brandon, a nice kid who worked the coffee shop at the same School, he too wanted to team up for whatever “Mystery Event” Kenna had planned. He also met Quinn, Sean’s friend, her smile was infectious, as was her laugh, and Jess, who went on this amazing cruise and had this crazy to do list with her family from her Grandma’s will. Also a girl named Brooke, a friend of Benjamin Park’s, who at last he also finally got to meet and plug his name in for a role in the upcoming adaptation of one of his comics. None of that mattered anymore though, not after the events that happened at dinner… That scream will stick with him for the rest of his life, which if things continue as they are, won’t be for much longer.   (Parts 2, 3 and 4 coming soon!)

[bleating-heart]

It is in the Nature of Dreams to End

Agatha remembered first meeting Kai. A giant cat with a lopsided smile sweeping the outside of a monetary up the tallest mountain she'd never wanted to climb. Dressed in a bright orange that clashed against his red-orange fur, a voice that sounded so hopeful, and sharp as a rack, she found him an oddity even amongst the other orevious-lycanthrope guards.

Did she really have time to dwell on him once the sounds of the training monks and Master Zhu Zhu rang high above the walls and a bell alerted everyone "HAE-SEONG IS A DRAGON WATCH YOUR ASS"? In all her honesty? No. Even stranger, but fantastic sights of martial students in perfectly synched rows, ceremonial oil lamps, heavy incense smoke rolling from burners would keep her attention first and foremost.

The second time Kai was forced to the front of her focus, was the fated death of the now Celestial Coatl, Master Zhu Zhu at the hand of his most treasured, and ultimated failed, student; the Black Dragon Lieutenant Sheng-Kai. The tiger Lycanthrope had let out a mournful cry and literally punched the doors of the monastery in outrage of the loss of his master. Agatha had remembered all too well the wail and reaction, as it was something that she too carried with her at the decimation of her village.

She had seen herself, and her body moved on its own.

The battle was long and difficult and very nearly fatal, but thanks to some overripe cranberry juice and the support of some bonded friends, everyone walked away from the encounter. For the third time that day, Kai had made himself a forefront thought in her mind. He had taken Hae-Seong's silvered scythe and severed Sheng-Kai's head from his body, throwing it into the entry way and smirking to himself, asking the others to mount it as a trophy on the walls. Zhu Zhu appeared to them as the last of his energy faded, congratulating them on their victory, and thanking Kai for watching over his students, as the monks made the decision for the Tiger to lead them after the passing of the old celestial.

Some miscommunicating on becoming a 'rider' of the man, and nearly convincing a disciplined man to drink, the team and their new feline member set off on their war path to right the wrong of Hae-Long.

They were inseparable from that moment. As two who worked in perfect synch, as two who supported one another, as two dim bulbs who made a whole halogen with their powers combined. Agatha was surprised when things started becoming... Charming? The gentle rumbling of tiger purrs and Kai drifted to sleep as she nestled into his side, his stupid laugh anytime anyone made a joke about 'mounting', his teasing agreement of Hae-Seong's insisting of her ownership of him... Him rushing into battle as long as she was at his side... His whispers of stories and old scribes when she woke with night terrors... How steady his heart beat was.

Was. Now wasn't that a funny word.

Agatha remembered nothing of how she awoke on the ground of the cliffside the had ascended from to get the the Cloud Giant's palace. She remembered a flash of lightning, and ultimate blackness. She had remembered the white hot feeling of regret as the world was torn from her as the blue dragon has leveled them exactly as Sheng-Kai had what seemed like so long ago. Hae-seong was sick at his stomach as he tried his best not to vomit as he replayed what happened to the Khan, and Keyon was nursing his panic attack when Agatha heard a phrase that made her blood run cold.

"Where's your tiger friend...?"

Almost as if fate was testing her, the final nimbus floated down with the limb body of the tiger-- no, the man, she wanted to see so badly. He didn't make it... There was nothing the Storm Spirit could do. Almost as if on cue, a hand placed itself on her shoulder. She felt nausea overtake her and she turned to see the spiritual figures of Zhu Zhu and human Kai, both clad in their robes, giving her the reassurance he was in a good place. Her voice cracked, barely above a whisper;

"Give him back, you asshole..."

Kai looked as if he was laughing as he faded from her view for the final time. Without hesitation, Hae-seong had turned to the others and told them he needed to start burial rites. Agatha stayed for a moment too long, as she was gently ushered back towards the group as Kai's body was gathered up. Where were they taking her friend...? She couldn't leave him right now, what if he wakes up...

Hand maidens in the Blue Dragon Palace helped her clean up and got her into a new set of clothes as the day came to a close. She didn't see Keyon for the rest of the night, and Hae-Seong had to spend a lot of time on his own preparing for the funeral that was to follow the next day. Agatha could hear him on and off of the sending stone, breaking the news to Kao-Kao, Li-Jiang, and Lu-Bu as well as touching base with Fizz and the Kobolds. She tried to find some comfort in it, knowing that the rest of their traveling family was still okay, but she still felt sick.

Agatha couldn't sleep that night. The room was too cold, too quiet... Too empty. All of the pillows in the world could fix the hurt she felt in her heart. Thoughts swirled together and soon became deafening in the silence;

I was supposed to protect him! I had one job! It's my fault he's dead! Why was I so fucking mean to him on the way there? It was over something so stupid! I'm supposed to be the one who goes!! I AM SUPPOSED TO KEEP THEM ALIVE!!

She forbids herself to cry, so the frustration takes itself out in another way; screaming. The halfling forces her face into one of the pillows she tried to build up into a nest and screams until her throat is raw.

The next morning comes, and the funeral begins. The court is all in mourning garb, and Hae-Seong starts the wake. He speaks of Kai fondly and highly. His accomplishments, his support, his dreams...

But Agatha knows them better than anyone ever will. This whisperings of Kai and how he wanted to change this land for the better, how proud he was that he could go back to the monks and grow with them, how Master Zhu Zhu had blessed him... How admirable it was she kept fighting for those who couldn't fight for themselves, how forgiveness comes with time and healing... How he would stay with her until she was sleeping. At the time, she found it stupid. He should wait up for her because she obviously would eventually go back to sleep. He didn't need to do all of that for her.

As the wake began to wrap up, Agatha found herself staring into the middle space of it all. Her anger was starting to become numbness as she started to internalize it all. The mutual care they had for eachother was something she should've treasured more while she had it. Sure he was fucking weird, but so was she. Hell, so were Hae-seong and Keyon... And Jinsei. Even the stupid horse was weird. He fit with them so well, it was wrong to see him not amongst them.

They moved to the coast line, the sun beginning to dip below the horizon, stars littering the fire colored sky. They had placed Kai's body in a vessel with ceremonial dried herbs and kindling as they pushed him out to sea, the water lazily pulling him into her depths. An arrow was lit and now knocked, as a court member offered the ceremonial weapon to Agatha. She felt the anger surface again as she refused to send the arrow to Kai to finish the rite.

"Why would I set my friend on fire?" She would mumble, but Keyon stepped up to finish the job. A well placed Ray of Scorching sent the boat into flames as the court of the blue dragon Khan lifted their heads and saluted the fallen with a timed breath of lightening. Hae-Seong has tried to comfort her with the reassurance of him being on the celestial plain, as was shown to him by Osmar, but she offered nothing in return. The dynasty born knew all too well the loss of Eros, so he let her be.

"If it's any consolation, I'll be finishing up the last of our plans and cleaning up the wake site. You're more than welcome to come and talk if you feel like it."

"Cool. I really don't feel like it."

Hae-Seong just nodded and left her be. He was wiser than to press her.

Agatha had returned to her room almost immediately after and crawled back into her nest. The night was bright with a full moon, and the soft light was pouring into her window along with the sound of waves. Blackness eventually overtook her, though where she arrived next was a mystery to her.

A soft light that felt almost fuzzy as she walked across a grassy knoll that was nearly as plush as fur surrounded her accompanied by the scent of incense she thought she'd forgotten all about. Her Auburn hair swirled around her as a guest of wind pushed her in a direction to go, following a newly formed oath lined with white pebbles through high, red orange temple gates. She felt her pulse quicken as she saw a figure waiting for her on the other side of the gate, clad in an orange robe with red wooden beads adorning his neck. A lopsided grin with a chuckle that sounded like purrs. She bolted to him, losing her footing as she passed through the gate, strong arms catching her before she got the ground.

"Woah! Don't tell me you've forgotten how to walk! Has riding tiger back spoiled you?" Kai teased, helping her to her feet.

"Really? Right now you're gunna do this?"

Kai couldn't help but laugh again at her as she scolded him for his intentional phrasing. He didn't have much time here, but the time he did have, he wanted to make it count. He knew what his death would mean for them, so why not leave on a higher note?

"You can't leave me, you know that right? It's too soon it's too much you can't leave me, you asshole!" Agatha feels the nausea overwhelm her again and hot tears sting at her eyes as they threaten to fall. Kai frowned and placed a tentative hand on her cheek, not knowing quite what to say.

"I know... Even if you forbid me to go, I cannot hold a place here in the world. I was given a chance to say goodbye, and I wanted to make the most of it," he starts, trying to choose his words carefully as the halfling woman knits her grows even tighter together as she shakily reaches up to cover hsi hand with her own.

"I am with Master Zhu Zhu now, and free from my painful curse of lycanthropy! I may have left the monastery in a bit of a tight spot, but I will speak to them before I leave this plane for the last time. It was an unfortunate end, but with the sacrifice of Jinsei, it wasn't in vain. It was just what date had decided for me, and I have made peace with that."

"You're dead because I was too stupid to move us in time to avoid the fucking lightning, Kai. It's my fault... All over again...!"

Kai frowned, wincing at the accusation. He hadn't expected her to take it so harshly, though he guessed he shouldn't be surprised.

"Agatha--"

"Don't."

"I'm sorry it had to be this way... It's not your fault."

"Shut up, Kai!!"

"Please."

The firm tone took her off guard, but she looked up at him to finally meet his eye. He looked as hurt as she felt, and it honestly made it worse. However, she took this as a sign to shut up herself and let him finish.

Kai gently pulled away from her and reached up, removing the beads from around his neck.

"I promise, you are destined for greatness. We have seen how your fate unfolds, and I swear you will be all of the good you want to be. I wish I could tell you, but it's not my place. Besides, I know you hate spoilers." He winks, Agatha not being able to help the half chuckle that falls passed her lips.

He slips the beads over her head, the heady smell of the monastery incense filling her nose as he does.

"I will always be with you. What kind of faithful steed would I be if I left you stranded?" She's about to argue when his lips cover hers. It's soft and almost feels unreal, but Agatha returns it nonetheless. It lasts but a moment before the larger man breaks away to rest his forehead to hers.

"I'm afraid it's time for me to go. Don't forget me when they're singing songs of your glory, alright?" He laughs, stepping back from her.

"Okay... Goodbye, Kai..." Agatha whispers, her world beginning to haze over as she's enveloped in the mist of waking. Kai waves to her as he faded from her for the last time.

"Goodbye, Agatha."

--

Agatha wakes to the sounds of rapping on her door.

"Miss Agatha? Breakfast is served. Your place at the table is being requested so they can start the war council."

She grunts back to the handmaid, dismissing her as she pulls herself up from her nest, still clad in her mourning garb.

It was a vivid dream and a strange one, but she supposed it offered her some kind of closure of--

What was that smell?

She sniffed a few more times before looking down, grasping at her chest. Red wooden beads...? Her voice cracked as a chuckle of realization rumbled in her throat. She guessed he remembered she liked to keep mementos... He really was an asshole, but she supposed he wouldn't be him if he wasn't.

Though she really didn't want to move, she scooted herself out of the bed and dressed herself in her common clothes for the morning. She tucked the beads into her tunic and headed out the door. Though she really didn't want to say goodbye, she supposed she would just have to accept that she had something to keep her motivated to keep fighting. It was selfish to force Kai to stick around in a world he was finished in. It was time to face the day, as her adventure in and of itself, was also drawing to a close.

After all, it is in the nature of dreams to end.

[punkrockgenasiashton]

So. Last night was a thing. Probably the most emotional Session of D&D I’ve ever had the pleasure (?) to be a part of. It’s been almost 18 hours, including a solid 6 of sleep and 7 at work, and I’m still replaying it in my head. Spoilers for HotDQ below the cut. 

For some background, the party that I’m in had just finished running through Horde of the Dragon Queen. Prior to killing Blagathos, The Giant who runs the flying castle, and the White Dragon in the basement we came across Rezmir, the black half dragon, and killed her. 

Rezmier had two very interesting items. The first of which was a black dragon mask that allowed the wearer (once attuned) to add their Charisma Modifier to their AC and allowed the wearer one Legendary Resistance, the ability to choose to succeed a saving throw, once per day. The other was a sentient sword named Hazirwan. The party didn’t know much about Hazirwan, but the barbarian, who had always been an honest guy and probably the most well liked member of the party, assured us that Hazirwan was fine and with the lifestyle that we led he’d have no problem keeping Hazirwan happy. We walked away from the confrontation with Rezmir with the barbarian wearing the mask and holding Hazirwan. 

So, we killed the dragon. It was harrowing and left my druid pretty traumatized (her entire tribe had been wiped out by a dragon and this dragon nearly tpk’d us twice). We leapt from the castle as it crashed, wizard casting fly and featherfall where necessary so that we could fall without dying. 

After some good comforting RP and a party member deciding he was going to head home when we got to a village (player wanted to bring in a new character) we set off on the road to Longsaddle, only about a 3 day walk from where we landed. 

We literally had to drag our Kenku rogue along because the poor girl wanted to go back for the rest of the dragon’s Hoard that we didn’t get a chance to take. (It should be noted that the Barbarian found some bracers of defense in there and attuned to them, so he’s now attuned to the bracers, the black dragon mask, and Hazirwan). On the walk we learned some interesting things about our halfling wizard (that lore deserves its own post). 

On the way to Longsaddle we happened upon some Orcs or Ogres (I forget which), and it was a breeze. Went through them like a hot knife through butter. But this is where the trouble started. See, the Barbarian entered a rage, as Barbarians are wont to do when fighting, but didn’t happen to record a kill during that battle. As the Kenku took the final shot with her shortbow the Barbarian screamed “Let me take MY PREY”(or something to that effect) but being D&D the Kenku took her shot and killed it. 

The Barbarian, holding Hazirwan, beared down on the little Kenku rogue and unleashed 2 hellish blows with the sword on her. Hazirwan was demanding a kill, and a kill immediately. And we were the only prey available. And the Kenku, who normally is the barbarian’s best friend out of combat, had taken his kill. So. The race was on to stop the Barbarian from running through the entire party. The Barbarian, who by the way, had quietly built his AC up to 21. 

Again. The Barbarian prior to last night was probably everybody in the party’s favorite. He’s the first person my Druid met after a falling out with a previous party and her first real friend she had made in over a decade. He held the affection of both our wizard and our cleric. The closest relationship in the party to this point has been the friendship built up between the kenku rogue and the barbarian. 

So the encounter began with people simply trying to subdue the Barbarian. But it quickly became clear that outside of strong attacks at full measure and magic stopping him from killing all but the strongest members of our party, there wasn’t much that could be done. He had used his one Legendary Resistance to buck a Hold Person spell by my druid and by that point he had KO’d the Rogue and had moved on to KO’ing the wizard. So the next time my turn came around I decided to go offense and try to knock him out. I didn’t succeed, but did a healthy amount of damage with a call lightening spell.

The brutal nature of the fight, and the Barbarian’s great AC didn’t not help the fact that for a while nobody could roll for shit. Until something awful happened. The player behind the Barbarian was very tight lipped about how the Barb was looking, so we kept bringing big guns. Finally, the Cleric critted. With an Inflict Wounds. At Third Level. And rolled Max Damage (or close). For a grand total of 70 damage. 70 damage on the man she loved. When he had 5hp left and a 65 max hp. Insta death. 

Insta death with no diamonds for Revivify and with the player behind the Barbarian telling us that even if we did have one after realizing what he’d done in the moments of his death the Barbarian wouldn’t want to come back. 

My Druid ran into the woods to sob alone while the party convened and tried to figure out what to do. Just days earlier she had told the party, the Barbarian specifically, how good it was to have friends again. 

The Kenku, when she awoke, broke down. Her first friend had stabbed her in the back. She explained through tears that the reason she was so greedy is she worked with adventurers in the past and they’d all eventually turned on each other for gold, so if you had the gold you had the power. She sobbed that she thought we were different, but obviously she was wrong. Her best friend stabbed her in the back and we killed him because of loot. 

The fighter explained to her that it was the sword, the sword had curropted him,the sword was evil. He then destroyed the sword and got to work digging a grave.

The cleric cast Speak with Dead just to beg the fallen Barbarian for forgiveness and to tell him we forgave him, she refused to allow him to be buried in the off chance we could make it to town in time to resurrect him. 

The session ended with the group deciding to bring him with us to Longsaddle in hopes that maybe he could be brought back. My druid is still in the woods crying against a tree.