#neapolitan pies

[fieriframes]

[AND GOT CERTIFIED TO SLING NEAPOLITAN PIES. AND WHEN HE OPENED HIS OWN PIZZA JOINT IN 2011, HE NAMED IT AFTER A LONG-LOST FRIEND. IT'S NAMED AFTER MY FIRST DOG. HUNGARIAN POINTERS, OR VIZSLAS, THEY HAVE RED FUR, AND "CANE ROSSO" MEANS "RED DOG" IN ITALIAN.]

[hyperfixation-galore]

Adhd tip of the day:

When cooking, wear an apron, or some kind of novel reminder that you're cooking/baking, so that you don't forget you're cooking.

Applies to most tasks!

Anyway,,,

I'm making pizza dough for the weekend and you have to let the dough rest before you knead so in that process I'd have easily forgotten about my little [not little its 800g of flour dough (baby)]project if I wasn't wearing my slightly uncomfortable apron :D

[iplayghoul]

let the light in

xx: cowboys! eren & onyankopon x reader . .

9.9k words — life on a ranch, porn with plot, tension, feelings, eventual sex, fucking in.. mud & rain, reader is referred to as 'she', 'girlie' etc, use of 'daddy', lots of spit & being dirty, reader is a country bumpkin, light arguing, thumb in ass, pussy spanking, spitroasting, cunnilingus, crying, some squirting & creaming, lots of shortened words & punctuation (country dialect duhh), not proof read sorry, awkward moments.

notes: been writin dis since december 2023... enjoy u guys :] rbgs appreciated

“hiya mrs. brown!”

worn out boots of marble cake pink and brown swirls, graze the dirtied gravel near the elderly woman's cottage as you slip from the horse. mary-lou, you affectionately call her, dusting her pinked moist nose with a pat before hobbling onto the stone path. over the horizon, the pastel orange and yellows of the sun threaten to melt into your skin, kissing it golden as the morning begins and so do your deliveries. 

golden-blonde, french curl braids woven into your roots fall past your lower back ending in thick, loose curls, some held together by bows and others hair clips. they bounced with every step. mrs. brown was the first on your list of deliveries today. on cool mornings like this when spring teases its approach, you often bake little treats for the other villagers. apple tarts, blueberry jellies, cherry pies with freshly picked fruits, warm buttery honey-milk breads and healthy breakfast muffins: all made with ingredients grown at home! but, we'll explore the garden later.

calling this a village was a bit of a stretch, realistically, a happy delusion at most. acres of farm property was shared by each of the residents whose homes were nearby, despite the farm areas creating distances of land behind them. tok, tok, tok! the haste below mary-lou's hooves pulled you back to your task as you rearranged the goodies and stepped onto the wooden plank. mrs. brown sat atop her rocking chair, crocheting a blanket you'd commissioned. a chuckle, “ [  ] , dearest, always in y’head, aren't yuh?” mrs. brown softly muttered, deep brown skin crumpled besides her lips, short pastel curls tickling her ears. hands busied with the neapolitan coloured yarn. her countryside twang was a pleasant aerated tone, reminding you of your own parents. 

you huff and offer a smile. “mrs. brown I've—”, “must I remind you, dearest, eleonora,” the playfulness in her voice offers it a quiver. “and let me guess . . . cherry pie?” thin, quivering lips stretch to a smile, your plump ones mimic hers as you nod with a sweetened expression. “yes, eleonora, I know how much y’love cherry pies n’–”, “and my grandson does too, y'know!” you stop to stare at her as she wears nothing but a smug look on her face, her head bobbing side to side with a ‘you know damn well’ manner. 

eleonora lived mostly alone. when her daughter married, giving her a sole grandson they'd moved to the city. luckily for her, and you, her grandson moved back on his own to the country. he fixed cars, motorcycles, tractors– you name it, he's got it covered. she said his name was onyankopon or, ony’. to be honest, you spied around one time to catch a glimpse of him. back when you first moved in and eleonora became immediately smitten with the idea of you and her grandson as potential lovers, you snuck around where ony's ranch was, peaking at who the man could be. you barely saw him really, the small flash of him you saw all greasy with engine oil was so far away! but infatuation always grew in you from a small bud, slowly growing before flower petals started spilling out your throat.

“are ya’ stoppin by him too, darlin’?” she pries further, “I ‘dunno els’ . . . y'know I haven't actually met ‘em right?”, “oh I know dear,'' she breathes, “ he's strong, he's tall, he surely is handy ‘round the house and- and he's not ‘onna dem toxic masculine things i hear ‘bout on the Internet! I think he's had a boyfrien’ b'fore, that must count!” she relieves your hands of the heavy treats while speaking, “eleonora . . .”, “c'mon darlin’, you've got t'get married someday, n’ imma’ be the flower gal!” 

all you can do is shake your head and accept the sweet kiss to the cheek she offers you before trotting back to your horse. mary-lou grew rather impatient! settling her brown and white spotted body to the ground awaiting your return. to be completely honest, you craved love. the partying, sex and relationships of college got old and moving here right after left you high and dry with the weight of ‘unlovable’ bearing down on your shoulders. the lack of men your age was . . . a troublesome dilemma but who were you to complain? you hiked yourself back onto mary-lou and continued your journey to the next cottage home. 

looking over the blueberry skies and whipped cream clouds kept you in grandiose delusions of a love so pure and sweet, like powdered sugar that you could indulge in, maybe one day.

♡

“down girl, down!” 

The rough, deep voice shakes the silence near the upcoming ranch. after your deliveries, you'd end up with a few apple-cherry tarts remaining, sometimes the neighbours are vacationing in the city, or insist you keep some! by this time, the sun shone fully now, its warmth tingling your skin. “awe, shucks, man!” another voice caused your brows to furrow, peering up ahead at the ranch . . . the one in which eleonora's grandson resided. from what you could see without the sun in your eyes, two men of tall statures– roughhousing with gorgeous horses. the one in the cowboy's hat was doing a terrible job of trying to calm one of them. their manes were a beautiful silky white, shining healthily under the sun as they lifted their front legs to the air before trotting around the . . . shirtless men again. mother would scold you now if she could see you openly ogling at the two, you push that thought to the back of your mind.

mary-lou slows on your command beside their ranch gate, huffing and happily shaking out her mane as she watches the other horses play. something possesses you to hop off with the remaining tarts, awkwardly shuffling to the fence– your pink-brown boots were worn mismatched to your strapless white lace top and similar mini-skirt. “uh . . . howdy there fellas!” both men turned to your direction, blocking their eyes from the sun and beginning to stroll over.

the closer view made your breath catch in your throat. the one on the left, you assume is el's grandson, his skin was a dark mahogany brown, he glistened slightly with sweat in the sun, deeply defined muscles prelude veins below his belly button then covered by bright blue jeans and black cowboy boots to match his hat.

he had a handsome face. 

thick two-toned lips spread to reveal a bright smile, a few teeth plated with gold caps as he teased the man to his right. this man had dark, black, shining curls that rested atop his shoulders, two eyebrow slits decorated with piercings, matching ones on his . . . pretty lips. his skin was a dusted tan, sunkissed tone and he wore black jeans atop his brown boots. You couldn't miss the tattoos that crept up the side of his abdominals, you were curious.

“how c'n we help ya’, miss?” the left spoke up and your cheeks felt hot, it's been a while since you heard that pet name, you chalked it up to the blazing sun. “well, uh, you're eleonora's grandson, right?” you nibble on your nails nervously, he nods, “I just . . . thought it’d be nice to give y'all these extra treats i baked.” pushing the basket in their direction and allowing the dark haired one to peep under the cloth, he had a mischievous look to him and he elbowed the other in the ribs with a slick smile, “wass ya’ name, pretty? ‘m eren, dis is ony’,” he pointed between them, “ n’ y’made these y’self, ma’?” eren pulls out a tart, staring down at you through long eyelashes, “oh! uh I‘m [  ], n’ yes! I did n' I grew all'em fruits m'self too!” you bounce on the heels of your boots, nervously.

ony’ stays mostly quiet you've noticed, taking in your outfit as well, his eyes raking over you. eren warmly feeds him a bite of the tart as their horses trot over to mingle with mary-lou. “how long ya’ been livin’ ‘round here, sugar?” ony’ speaks up soft and mellow, grabbing himself his own tart to taste. eren reaches out to pet mary-lou. “i guess it’s been a about a year now! y’see i moved out ‘round here after college.” you nibbled your shiney bottom lip, “what ‘bout y’all? your grandma talks ‘bout you all the time, but, i ain’t really seen you round here?” you turn to eren who makes a kissy face at mary-lou before turning to you. “i mostly tend to the farm ma’, as y’can tell, ‘m better with the animals than ony’ here.” he flashes you a smile and props his arms against the fence biting his lip and lowering closer to your eye level. ony’ playfully smacks his arm, flashing a gorgeous smile with his gold teeth sparkling in the sun, “shut up, man.”

you look away quickly, catching yourself staring at his lips, he certainly doesn't miss it. you totally push the basket towards eren’s arms, “y’c’n have the basket y’know i always weave more, i’ve gotta get goin, now,” you rush, “wait– take m’ number, pretty,” eren offers before reciting it a couple times so you’ve got it down. “n’ which onna’ these ranches ‘s yours, mama?”, you're mounting mary-lou once more, “it's not too far! it's the ranch with the blue fence n’ the pond out front!” 

♡

the days after that remained uneventful, with no deliveries of any kind, you preferred to remain on the ranch tending to the animals and house work. you'd never texted eren, only saved his number and stalked his contact profile . . . and opened his chat section many-a-times without saying anything. taking a liking to someone new is hard. you don't forget the many times a partner toyed with you, assuming innocence and naivity of you based soley off your appearance, then doing whatever they'd wanted behind your back. you were past that now, hopefully at least; the concrete walls you used to block others out wasn't something you'd liked to be reminded of.

padding out the back door, the coldness of the stone path chills beneath your bare feet. your toes painted with the cutest design within your artistic range, accompanied by the musical arrangement of your anklet. you pick up a dirtied bucket with the many things you'd needed to complete your chores for the morning, taking a long look at the expanse of the ranch. 

a deep breath of clean air, healthy green fields relieve your eyes of their stress; partly cloudy skies was the forecast! weather for hanging outside, the cumulus clouds indicated it to be the perfect day for fishing too! the pond was still, the little lambs were just waking up in their pen, the gardenias were blooming; the white dexter cattle mulled around, seemingly bored behind the fence. just as you begin to walk by with the bucket of feed, the cows behind let out soft, deep ‘mooooo’s’: a ‘good morning!’ greeting in their own way. each receiving gentle pets to their fur.

your mental list of duties was shorter today: pet the cattle, inspect the lambs & brush their fur, throw feed for the chickens & clean their coupes, feed the dogs, feed the fish.

you couldn't help but wear your best little dress to do the tasks today, a simple white thing that cupped your breasts just right. “oh, how are ya’ buttercup!” you squealed in delight as the silky white wolf dog rushed up to lick your feet, his opposite onyx counterpart, bentley offered a short bark to show her delight, sitting peacefully and obediently. she'd recently fallen pregnant with pups, confusing as you'd given both animals the proper precautionary procedures! while filling their food bowls, you couldn't help but be reminded of eren and ony’. your toes dug into the grass a bit, excited at the idea of . . . sharing your home with someone else again. both men seemed pleasant, highly attractive, but feelings always confused you. perhaps they were only being decent human beings to you, nothing more.

to be honest, you hadn't had the best history with relationships. it's part of– it's one of the main reasons you'd decided to move out to the countryside. casual sex was fine, yeah, whatever, you enjoyed it. however, when it comes to your relationships, you refuse to believe you attract shitty people. from making fun of how excited your are by things, to the way you dressed, wore your makeup, your hair, how you cry— the whole works had been used against you. there was only so much of it you could handle. moving away meant . . . fresh start, new people, new experiences. and most importantly, a place where everyone did as they pleased. as much as people think gossip goes around in small villages, the country area was mostly pleasant. neighbours traded crops for items, enjoyed each other's company and minded their own business.

sitting beside the pond, bentley and buttercup eagerly cuddled up at your side; the joy this life brought you was comparable to hot chocolate at the end of a winter day. now you think about how long its been since you could cuddle someone on a cold day. it probably hasn't been since your mother was alive. now was a good time to visit eleonora.

♡

a raspberry lemon loaf warmed your hands as the weather began to cool. the trudge to eleonora's ranch was tranquil, pleasant animals, butterflies and chirping birds kept you occupied for most of it. that is, until your boots dragged to a stop in the dirt, noticing a familiar face in el's front yard. 

onyankopon's hair was short, brushed into smooth waves atop his head and faded on the sides, revealed by the lack of cowboy hat. he was shirtless, once again, knee deep in the dirt of his grandmother's yard where he dug the soil for new plants. you swallow, nibbling a plump lip that made your mouth spring from the strawberry flavoured gloss. a colder breeze blew up under your thighs, blowing your simple little dress slightly; furrowing your brows with concern as you peered at the beautiful bright sky, you force yourself to walk up to the gate and begin to unlatch it. 

eren's grassy green eyes meet you first, his hands busily feeding a plump cherry into his mouth. pretty pink lips sucked them in, unwelcoming to the juicy red droplets that escaped the cherry. he licks his lips to pull them in. you take a deep breath and focus on not dropping the raspberry lemon loaf. “h-hiya everybody!” you greet, noticing eleonora seated in her usual spot on the rocking chair of her porch while observing the two men. 

you hold the loaf somewhat close to you and swallow hard, walking along the stone path of which both men were at either side of. ony’ in the dirt and eren manspreading on the front steps. you held eyes with the ground. “howdy ony’, eren, nice to see you two ‘gain,” you say in a pleasant mumble as you make way up the stairs to eleonora. “brought you this raspberry lemon loaf els’!” you look at her smiling slightly, caught off guard by that signature smug look she held. what insane thoughts about your love life could she be brewing now? the silence from the two men was noticeable too, you were sure they'd turn to look at you as you presented the treat for el’, “my, my! well doesn't this just look lovely!” she claps clammy hands clad in flower themed rings and laughs jolly. “ony’, son, could you get us some tissues n’ forks? oh- n’ eren darlin’ why don't you bring out the pitcher ‘f lemonade with s'm glasses.” the two men stand as she calls upon them, uttering out their deep ‘yes ma'am's’ as they towered above you in walking by. your eyes trailed them slightly before turning back to eleonora who never (not once) misses your silent pining.

ony’ wore his jeans low on his waist, the band of his boxers showed off its maker's name. eren, on the other hand, wore a white wife-beater below unbuckled blue overalls, leaving them hanging over at his waist. “so, have ya’ found y'self a boyfren’, honey?” eleanora asks somewhat loudly as the two men shuffle around the kitchen bearby and your eye widen. “now what kinda’ question is that els’?” you sputtered, “you know I haven't got one.” eleonora giggles like a school girl. you take a cool seat onto the steps. eren and ony’ share small smiles as they return with lemonade and dishes. ony’ takes a seat in a chair opposite eleonora, elevated above you whilst eren makes himself comfortable back in his spot across from you on the steps. raspberry lemon loaf is shared around with the cool glasses of not-too-sweet lemonade to wash it down, eating brought silence besides low groans from the two men who seemed to enjoy your baking. their groans were not sensual, but pressing your thighs together was still a must as a reaction to the unexpected sounds of pleasure. fuck, you felt like a creep. eleonora complimented your skills, asking, “[  ] , did ya’ grow these in the box gardens y'made?” you nod and swallow quickly, all attention to you as eren mumbles ‘box garden?'. ``yea els’, the box gardens ar’ doin’ great, but I've got some extra wood around I think I'mma try to make a few more like the boxes I bought from the market!” eleonora smiles as if she were expecting to hear you randomly bring up your recycling duties. 

“ony’, can't you n’ eren build those boxes f’[  ]? I strongly believe lil’ ol’ her shouldn't handle all dat’ wood . . .” you internally blush deeply at the innuendo and take the final bite of your slice of the loaf. eren speaks up, “y'sure right on we can, els’ . . . y'okay wit’ us helpin’ y'out ma?” he takes a quick glance up at ony, locking eyes with him who also lets his stare above you burn into your scalp. “s– sure, I don't mind!” you mutter out lightly and eleonora gives a jolly clap, “well ain't that just darlin’! the day's young, y'all can get started right now!” you have to hold your breath to avoid your last sip of lemonade going down your larynx. the two men mentioned how they're not busy the rest of the day and wouldn't mind before you can even collect yourself. somehow, coming over to eleonora always results in you being roped into another scheme of hers.

and just like that, you found yourself on a quiet . . . and awkward walk back to your ranch with the two young men following closely behind you. anxiety bubbled in your stomach, clamping your lips shut to avoid letting the insecure feeling from escaping your lips. the nerves were getting to you with every second that passed by. “s-so, uh– wassup wit y'all ‘round here?” they both walk up to match your pace. “oh, well, ony here prefers to do all the technical shit like– fixin’ cars n’ all'at.” eren shoves his palms into the pockets of his overalls, walking up ahead where he could look back at the two of you while talking, he maintains glances with onyankopon that you just don't seem to understand. “I prefer to stay on the ranch n’ watch the animals– y'got any besides that horsie?” 

“oh– yea i've got m’ horse, mary-lou, two wolfies: bentley n’ buttercup.” a sweet smile stretches on your face, tummy warming a bit. “oh! and I've got names f'all my fish in the pond, my little lambs– oh they're just the cutest! a–and my fluffy cows! they're lovely,” you clasp your hands in excitement, eyes following your footsteps, sputtering happily over the animals. “gosh, n’ I'm tryin’ out a little butterfly area in my front garden, but m’ not the best at it, can’t tame butterflies y’know— they pee on ya’ too! that's fuckin’ crazy,” you reveal with a giggle. as you look up to ask the two a question, you can't help but blush, embarrassingly at that. eren and ony stared at you with pleasant smiles, deeply dimpled too. “oh my, m’ sorry for my ramblin’ how rude of me–”,”no. no, keep talkin’ pretty.” ony's deep voice encourages you and you peer curiously at him: trying to figure him out. he turns away from you licking his lips and spares eren a look before he starts walking again. it urges you both to continue onto the ranch as well, eren shakes his head with a chuckle; he thinks he’s got a handful on his hands. 

“y’got a boyfren’ ‘round here, [  ] ?” eren brushes hair over his shoulders, asking the question calmly whilst maintaining a look up the path, ony’s arm brushed yours as he walked close by. “well– no, what about you?” you melt your lips together before stuttering out,”wait, not– i mean, girlfriend . . . well– i don’t care–!” ony barks out a laugh while eren turns around to give you a bright smile, all three of you burst into giggles. “nah, no girlfren’ or boyfren’, ma’.” ony speaks up gently, “but, uh– me n’ E’ might be lookin’ for a third to make us official, i dunno.” your eyes widen but ony gives a nonchalant shrug, handsome face glowing with a smug smile like he didn't just drop #thebomb on you. it reminded you of his grandmother, you look to eren who’s looking back at you and onyankopon with just a slight grin and your breath catches in your throat. “oh! there’s the ranch just up ahead,” you blurt out and skip past eren, scurrying over to unlatch the gate to your front garden as the two followed you in.

now your heart felt like it could melt. like– like a huge strawberry ready to burst! what did ony’ mean by that?  oh, how you felt like a dizzy little dove. luckily the dogs rushed up to you, excitable and ready to meet the new visitors who they eagerly sniffed. ony’ and eren were happy to roughhouse on sight laughing with the dogs and complimenting the patch of primula's you were trying to grow, the pretty pinki-ish flowers were just beautiful. you lead them through your home, overly conscious about each step you took while they surely eyed every nook and cranny of your decor. “um- y'guys need anything? I've got some snacks . . .”, “nah, we're good,” eren mumbled, sounding obviously distracted by their nosey observations of your living space. you hear the tone of your dryer going off just as you unlatch the netted back door that served as another layer next to the already opened wooden one. 

“holy shit,” ony’ whispered, your organization of the backyard was impeccable. clean and solid fencing around the cows, plants on the left with storage on the other. you left the two to walk out into the cold breeze that passed by as they observe the surroundings and the pile of wood waiting for them; all while you quickly rushed to the laundry room nearby to dislodge your clothing and stuff them into a basket. you hurry back out to join them.

“so, here's one of the other boxes i made,” you gesture to the dirty box filled with planted Spanish thyme, “i know it looks kinda wonky but, hopefully you guys can do better,” you offer an awkward laugh and sit on the back steps, legs crossed. 

eren and onyankopon share a look, then grab some planks bringing them more into your line of view with some of the tools nearby and sitting in the grass. even in your own home, you felt a little out of place. in silence, eren and ony’ shared alot of chemistry you didn't understand. despite this, what ony’ said on the way here never left your mind. “y'guys got alot ‘f experience . . . relationship-wise?” you scratch behind your ear. they worked separately lining up wood and nailing them into place, muscles working diligently. “mm, yea. ‘guess y'can say that ma',” eren glances at ony who hums low and offers you a small smile.

“it's jus’ that– ‘m thinkin’ ‘bout watchu said earlier . . .” you blink, fumbling, “unless that was like a joke ‘r somethin’—”

“i wasn't joking.” onyankopon confirms calmly, his jaw tight. you allow the silence to continue for a few beats, eyes flickering back and forth between the two and your hands petting the dogs that came to lay beside you. “we don't expect ya’ to jus’ trust us like that, missy,” eren offers gently, shoving his curls into a small bun and you nibble your bottom lip. 

ony's brows furrow and he's hammering the last few nails into his box before he speaks up. “how c'n we get to know you ma’? me n’ E’ been . . . chillin’ for over a year. since college, actually, n’ we been watchin’ y'too. w’dont expect you to feel the way we do in 10 minutes or even in a day. let us get t'know you.” you squint a little.

“y'serious?” your chest feels a little hot and you're praying to the gods you don't fuck this up. “c's i don't intend on gettin played wit’ ‘specially not out here, y’hear me?” and you don't mean to raise your voice a little, the sounds just flow out. “hey, hey now,” eren pushes his finished work aside and stands, tugging his overalls up, hands resting on his hips. “we don't got no bad intentions, sugar, chill wit’ us,” and you blink up at him, unmoved.

“m'kay, let's just say i decided to ‘chill’ wit’ y'guys,” you stand up, fold your arms and start, “what exactly are we g'nna do, hm?” you look back and forth between them, not missing the way your buttercup whines on the steps where she lay, evidently fed up with all the chatter. “y'got 3 seconds n’ don't say sex. one,” 

“who said anythin’ ‘bout sex?” ony’ joins you two as he puts the tools down, “two,” “yea, y'better shut that shit up. let's bake sumn together, show us around y'day, hang wit’ us at our ranch, talk about shit. fuck y’mean sex?” you stubbornly stay silent and stare. eren’s jaw bone pokes out with the way he clenches it. “we're not lookin’ for sex. if we wanted sex from you we coulda seduced you a long time ago, sugar,” he shrugs with a smile and you lick your lips, sighing. “okay, ‘m sorry. I’–I'm such a bad host,” you mutter out, “y'all want anything to eat? or some water.” you hear a low ‘okay’ from ony’ so you shuffle away to the kitchen to grab some bottles for them.

you tried to focus on the coldness of the bottles on the way back as a way to cool your temperament. “i moved out here wit’ intention ‘f startin’ fresh n’ shit.” you start, tossing them bottles before plopping yourself beside buttercup who nuzzled her cold nose into your thigh. the two men were sitting once again, evidently having spoken to each other in your absence.

your voice was shaky as you took a deep breath, garnering the courage to speak up for how you felt, “i'm tired of gettin’ dogged out, n’ played wit’ n’ allat bullshit.” you pout.

“‘m not exactly sure how gettin’ involved wit’ two handsom’ fellas is gonna help me figure out to– to i dunno, regulate m’ emotions.” you frown and shove some braids back behind your ear, “s’ like i damn near avoided it– i moved back t’the country damnit.” a sigh, “i cant just figure out how to adore n’ love– people again or if i'mma be able t'dish it out as much as before.”

“you get what i mean?” your ramble ceased as you finally look up from your focus on your knees and look back and forth between ony and eren. ony chuckles softly while eren offers you a smile and speaks up.

“we'll take it slow, you'n gotta ‘love’ anybody yet, mama,” ony nods at his words, “gotta build a friendship wit'chu first, we not playin’ ‘round.” 

♡

a week or so passes in which life goes by as normal. you spend your days busying yourself with gardening and grooming your animals, baking treats and new concoctions. the only exception is eren and onyankopon have somehow easily squeezed themselves into your life.

on your deliveries you hear, “howdy, ma',” they chase across their lawn and hop across the fence to drag you inside and sit you down in the warm house where the two eagerly pester you to try the . . . ‘shrimp alfredo’ they whipped up. 

thus, the two would end up in your kitchen, breathing over your hair whilst you instructed them on the proper technique. “naw, i don’ told E to do all'at,” onyankopon protests. so too do they pester mary-lou and your dogs, roughhousing and giving them baths much to their dismay.

through many experiences you learn, onyankopon isn't particularly fond of being tickled, or of wearing shirts. he stays shirtless almost all twenty-four hours of the day and you can only avert your eyes. eren is obsessed with overalls and has an array of them: gray ones, distressed ones, short ones, and he never buckles them properly.. on the ranch, the two gorgeous white haired horses were named armin and reiner, two friends they shared from college. sparkling like diamonds as you're given the opportunity to ride them each around the boys’ ranch in the golden sun. you'd also learned that the two were sexually . . . fluid, they'd called it. vaguely, they'd mentioned their sex lives and based on what they said you couldn't help but assume they were talking about each other. who else was there out here except you?

“yeeehaw! can't catch up, can'ya’?” eren howls and shouts as he trots across the ranch on his horse, ony lagging behind in the chase. here you sat on a wooden little bench near the steps of ony' and eren's ranch; clad in a simple white cropped tank and blue jeans with a chunky belt, your cream coloured cowboy hat sit pretty atop your head. a pretty calico cat licked at your bare feet and nudged you for pets. 

at this point, you felt yourself slipping. it was obvious by now you'd grown to enjoy each other's company and serious conversations were imminent.

what were we, how will the dynamics work, what would they expect from you? just then you felt a tap to your forehead.

“heya, girlie,” eren squats down before you to grab your attention, “watchu, thinkin’ ‘bout,” ony’ mumbled, toying with a toothpick between his teeth. 

you smack glossy lips together, “jus’. . . ‘bout us three y'know? how- like, where do we go fr'm here huh?” your eyes flutter, cheeks warming. you feel the silence actually, eren and ony’ are doing that stupid thing where they talk to each other with their eyes. 

butterflies flap their wings about, joyous as ever. it makes you smile a little, as you're beginning to grow nervous. “let's talk inside ma’,” onyankopon suggests, stepping past you into the house where eren follows. 

“me n’ ‘ren c'n take care ‘f each other n’ you, know that?” 

you all shuffle onto the dark gray couch in the living space. ony’ and eren's ranch had a deep modern aesthetic. dark oak accents adorned both the outside and inside, complimented by gray and brown shades of furniture. 

“i know that . . . ,” you pout, 

“so wassup,” eren stares you down, the emerald swirl of his eyes warmed your belly yet you couldn't maintain eye contact with him for long, eren just had that kind of stare without realizing it himself.

“‘m g'nna be frank, ion wanna impose on nothin’ y'folks got . . . n’ my past relationships ain't been the best.” you huff and continue, “‘m jus’ puttin’ that out there. i feel like we've been talkin’ for a while n' I'm fond of y'all.” 

“i jus’ don't wanna be the one to mess things up,” you finish in a whisper. 

onyankopon hums low and eren plays with his lip ring, “n’ das’ all, girlie?” he asks and pursed his lips, dimple deepening at that. you give a nod and a small ‘yup’ while intertwining your hands onto your knees that were pressed together. “y’ talk to us, we talk to you, got that? if it's an issue y'got: don't hesitate to let us know,” ony’ iterates.

eren makes a noise of agreement, “y’communicate everythin’ wit us, sugar, we're serious,” and you nod slowly. “‘kay . . . i get that,” your eyes feel a little wet with emotion, ones you're not too sure of yourself.

you were happy to hear them affirming their commitment yet still anxious for the future. regardless, you couldn't help but lurch forward, you grab the back of eren's neck to press a sweet strawberry jelly flavoured kiss to his cheek, leaving a baby pink glossy print on his cheek along with a loud ‘mwah’ as you smiled. similarly, you crawl over his lap to do the same to ony’ who only bit back a grin, gold capped teeth glistening in the light much like the glossed smudge on his face.

♡

inevitably came the days you'd call the ‘honeymoon’ phase in a relationship, except it lasted what felt like forever.

these days you preferred to be cuddled up in your bedroom, legs being warmed by a black, gray and white blanket you were committed to crocheting. with a couple dark, gloomy days where the usual creamy clouds frowned down on you, the animals often retreated to their pens and little beds of hay to seek warmed from stormy weather. buttercup and bently invaded each others personal space in their dog beds down at the living room, you smile a little at the thought.

“yeen gotta be like that, ony’,” you hear eren groan in a mischievous pout as the two men exit your bathroom smelling of your bath soap. onyankopon mumbles something of ‘’s a stupid idea’. you giggle under your breath, hands hard at work weaving and looping the thick yarn for the blanket. 

“ [  ] , watchu’ think, sugar?” eren plops himself onto the bed, “hm?” still fixated on your progress, ony’ huffs from his seat on the ottoman, lotioning his chest and arms then turning back to rub some excess onto eren's foot. “i told ony’, let's take the horses f’ a ride, ma’, he talkin’ bout ‘oh it's rainy’, i think it'll be chill,” he smiles big and winks expecting something of an applause for his great idea of fun.

“ion mind whateva’ y'guys wanna do, jus’ once we shower ‘gain after, ‘fore we get sick,” you shake your head at the thought. ony’ smacks his teeth, “c'mon, don't support him.” 

“what, playin’ in the rain is fun, baby!” you chuckle, eren simply props his head on his palm, enthralled by your meticulous work. regardless, he nods mindlessly in agreement at the discussion.

just like that, cowboy hats and boots were thrown on and you head down to the stables to round up the horses. ony’ and eren raced each other down to them before you could even get a word in. the thought reminded you of buttercup and bently who currently settled and slept with one's head atop the other.

the fresh rain smell hits your nostrils quickly, smelling of the humidity off the grass and pitch of the street. you could audibly hear the wind bristling about the bushes as it cooled your skin. all you wore was a thin white tank top, jeans along with your classic pink-brown boots to match your hat. eren and ony’ warmed up the horses, encouraging mary-lou to shake out her mane and trot a little. onyankopon was seated by reiner, rubbing at his legs to warm him a bit and doing the same to armin. of course, you stare unabashedly, his muscles (unclothed) bulged with each motion, waistline visible amid his jeans.

you stare so much so, that you don't even notice eren come up to your side to press a wet kiss to your neck, he wraps an arm around your shoulders and gives your ear a kiss too, “starin’ at my man, girlie?” he laughs boyishly and you swat him, “dat’s m’ man too, freak,” he gasps falsely at the insult and you speed off to grab the harness for mary-lou; ony’ pretends he didn't hear the bickering and mounts his horse.

“s’ not rainin’ all too much now, see?” eren comments, scooping his hair back into a low bun under his hat. the three of you clicked and clocked through the damp grass and onto the street, letting the drizzle of rain moisten your skin with each speckle. you gnaw at your bottom lip, lost in thought as you trail behind the two men. at the same time, another cold gust would brush past you three, drying your skin again. yet, as you flinch when a particularly large droplet mands on your cheek, the rain picks up again and you smile.

sometimes moments like these felt so good, connecting with nature and taking in the beauty of the weather. it didn't stop you from being distracted, eren's white wife-beater was getting soaked. the tattoos creeping up his side peaked through the material and stared right back at you. you bitr back a groan and cover your warming face with your palms, wiping it clean of rain, while eren and onyankopon fall back on their horses. the peaceful silence with nothing but the ‘tock’ of the horses’  hooves kept your mind wandering. 

now drenched, you could only imagine peeling off these clothes, a strap of your flimsy little tank top blew off your shoulder, and you felt the material sticking to the bulge of your breasts nestled in your black bra that now stood out ten times as much. god, you felt like a fuckin’ pervert. you couldn't even bring yourself to look down at your own chest, feeling scandalized enough. something about thinking of yourself in . . . near erotic situations such as this made your clit thump like a sweet little rabbit's nose.

nonetheless, you ignore it and allow the rocking atop mary-lou as she walks to distract you. onyankopon rides his horse nearer to yours and eren does the same, you gasp under your breath when ony’ nudges you. “wassup,” he murmured, “nothin’ ‘m jus’ distracted.” you comment plainly and eren huffs out a laugh beside you. 

all you do is stare down at mary-lou and pet her mane, the pulse between your legs pushed to the back of your mind. “y'so bad at lyin’, know that?” eren laughs, you blush and groan, “no ‘m not, shut up,” 

“chill, chill,” ony’ whispers, in his stupid, sexy, amazing, deep voice and you let out a big shuddering breath. as you're riding you feel ony's wet bicep brushing against yours. this had to be the end of you.

ony’ reaches an arm behind you, stretching to meanly pinch eren's shoulder. you're not sure what that meant but you didn't care to know. “where we ridin’ to?” you ask, rubbing glossy lips together. “mm, let's jus’ head to me n’ ony's ranch,” 

“kay,” you settle with that, sweet n’ soft.

“wanna race, jaeger?” ony’ slips in lowly, pulling ahead and looking back at you two with his. . . stupid handsome smile, “h- hey now, let's not–” and you're interrupted by shouts, “let's go!” eren pulls off.

you groan softly, hiking up mary-lou’s harness a bit as you begin to gallop behind the two men. the raindrops stung against your skin and you whined trying to catch up to the two and your breaths harsh. with each hard breath you let out you couldn't help but let it bubble up into laughter, you just felt so good. 

you felt giddy, blinking away raindrops that attacked at your eyes and racing past the two men, who yelled and called out to you, “yo, ma’ we gon' catch up,” ony's cowboy hat flies back behind his head, held up by the string beneath his string as he pulls the white horse forward chasing after you.

the three of you speed past grunge fencings and rosey bushes all bowing their heads now from the deluge. your tank top was completely soaked, and you imagine so was eren's when you pulled in the gates of their ranch and headed around back where you could free mary-lou to run around in the fenced horse enclosure.

you sit on the ground and linger near the side of the house by some plants, boots kicking about scattered hay and picking up sticky mud. eren and ony’ pull in the same time, wet chests heaving and eyeing you as they quickly hop off and lead their horses to the enclosure. “you win, watchu want?” eren huffs out, swinging his hat off and tossing it to the side, letting the rain seep into his curls. “hm?” you moan while rain kisses you, “i get a prize?” 

he nods and slumping down against the wall next to you and propping his arm on a plant. you take the time to stare at his pecs . . . light brown nipples peaking through at you. eren catches you staring, it forces you to look away quick and brush a wet braid out of your face just as ony’ arrives.

��yall chillin’?” 

“yea . . . mama's chillin’ alright,” eren smiles up at ony who lays in the grass beside you. “she baskin’ in her– win,” eren laments, reaching forward to tickle you and you bark out laughter lurching at him. his fingers pet your ribcage and you grab eren's shoulders, “what the– fuck! eren!” you squeal and wrangle with him. ony’ sits in the wet dirt beside you guys with his hands resting behind his head, basking in the rain and ignoring the shoves and pushes nudging him.

“i swear t’ god ‘ren, you– ack!” eren flips you on your back and you land hard with your head on ony's thigh while he wrangles your hands above your head. digging your feet in the ground for leverage couldn't help with the mud slipping beneath you. onyankopon only hums in amusement, watching you stop struggling beneath eren, your chests bouncing with gasps of air.

“you . . . y'know that's not fair, eren,” “i know what's not fair, sugar?” he stares you down, grip on your wrists tight with his chest pressing against yours. the swell of your breasts popped out of your tank top, glistening and sticky when it touched his skin. “mmm, you want somethin’?” he sucks his lip rings into his mouth teasing you, eyes wide and glossed over, throat drying. you lick your lips and slip from his grasp, sitting up and leaning your back onto ony's chest. just as you make that decision you swallow hard feeling his wet chest through your thin top. you wipe some wetness off your forehead evidently applying some mud that was on your arm to the spot.

you catch your breath, rubbing dirtied arms onto your shirt to clean them as best you could. you felt filthy but god, your fat little cunt ached laying in the dirt. 

“onyan'” you call out to the man behind you with your eyes trained on eren who simply sits back smiling impishly at you, “yea, sugar?” 

“wan’ m’ prize,” it comes out in a whine.

“yeah? ‘n what's that gon’ be,” he murmurs low in your ear, eren still hears him. you let out a ‘hmph!’ deep in your throat. then, you drag dirty hands against your tank top before peeling it off you and above your head, tossing it into some grass elsewhere.

crawling on your knees, ass arching in ony's direction, you gesture to eren with a finger, “come here, c'mon,” and you grab the back of his neck, kissing up his sweaty wet throat licking and sucking up anything your mouth touched. you press your lips to eren's, cold wet metal between you two when you let his tongue into your mouth, sucking it up when your lips lock hot.

eren groans into your mouth, hand gripping at your ass concealed by your jeans and he falls back into the mud. you reveled in the slick sound of your lips separating from each other, tuning out how soaked your jeans were getting in the rain. the ambient pelting sound on the rooftops only edged you on further, sitting in eren's lap.

“fuck, you're nasty,” eren mumbles against your lips when you pull away for a second, fingers toggling with the buttons on his jeans. he resists a big smile, elbows resting in the muddied dirt to hold himself up while you roughly tug his jeans down a bit. just enough room for you to reach his dick.

“see how she treatin’ me, ony'?” eren wipes rain off his nose, locking heavy-lidded eyes with onyankopon then down at you, “she roughin’ me up ‘cause she won,” he grumbles and you pull his cock out.

eren flinches when his dick is exposed to the rain, tan-brown tip oozing pre mixed with droplets. your knees dug into the mud beneath you, ass arching up. you stare shamelessly at eren's dick, letting the saliva build up about your tongue while you press a few kisses to the tip. his breath shudders above you, leaning his head back for the rain to fall on his face. “c'mon, pretty, do watchu want,” you grip him tight, feeling like your palm could memorize the girth and veins that popped out. then, tugging him up slightly, you slot your mouth in the gap between the bottom of his dick to his balls. sucking on the skin, you let you built up salivation drip down his balls, slurping the heavy sack onto your tongue.

you suck eren's balls into your mouth, swirling your tongue around mounds and his mouth drops open revealing his tongue ring. he grins, giving you a loud shameless groan, he was certainly showing off for ony’ who sit behind you watching. “suck it like dat, yea,” eren mumbles to you, licking the rainwater off his lips. he lets you have your way a bit more, focused on your features: the way the rain made your eyelashes clump together, the droplets sliding down your nose, to the spitty goop around your mouth all over his balls.

“c'mon, c'mon,” he pulls your mouth off him with a hand gripping the base of your hair, licking the splittle off your chin then kissing it into your mouth and swallowing your whines. “y' fuckin’ nasty, jaeger,” onyankopon mutters lowly behind you and eren bites back a smile. “filthy ass, take that shit off,” you up off your knees, flopping back on your ass where you fiddle with the buttons on your jeans. 

your cheeks burned, both eren and ony's eyes grilled into you and everywhere you touched got streaks of mud in it after having your hands dig into the sopping ground. on your arms, your boobs, eren's shirt. slowly, you shucked your jeans down, slipping them past your ankles along with your boots. your panties were stuck up your ass when you sit in some wet patches of dirty hay, tossing the jeans aside realizing you wore significantly less than the other two men with rain beating all over you.

eren and ony’ share a look then eren's the first to lurch forward gripping your legs with his muddied hands, pushing you back to lay in the dirt and kissing about the clear parts of your belly. he nips at the swell of your breasts in your bra, sucking and kissing wherever he saw fit. “er– eren,” he's prying your legs apart, pushing them ‘till your knees were besides your ears. “eren, stop–,” then he's plucking your panties out your ass and sliding them up your thighs, he stretches the thin little things beyond repair to sling them off your ankles. “what the fuck,” you whisper, eren's fucking unreachable n’ you're both staring at your fat puffy cunt. he takes a second to look to the side at ony’ before returning his attention to your pussy, sprinkles of water sliding down, yet the blubber of slick collected between your lips was noticeable.

the pretty thing was so fat your hardened clit could barely peak through. eren dips his tongue deep, digging at your hole then dragging his tongue through your folds illiciting a low gasp. the cold metal bar in his tongue nudged at your clit. he curled his tongue around the bundle of nerves, giving it a few flicks before spitting and licking another strop up your cunt. “feels– fuckin’ good, eren, oh,” you whimper, his gentle motions paired with the ambient beating of rain against your skin had you on a high. he shakes his head side in your cunt, arousal making sticky strings beside his cheeks as his nose nudges the fat of your pussy. “holy shit,” you press your head into the soft ground beneath you, eyelids fluttering shut when eren suckles softly on your clit. you hum and moan, licking your lips and feeling your head spin, “‘ren . . . oh my god,” he slurps noisily suctioning his mouth over your pussy, sucking hard over and over and over again relishing in the throb of your clit against his tongue.

“he knows, baby,” ony’ murmurs and your mouth drops open with a loud moan, his voice just did something for you. you felt the muscles in your legs twitch, itching to close them with each swipe of eren's tongue and swirling pleasure in your tummy. your hands dig into the dirt behind you, legs quivering.

“tastes fuckin’ good don't it?” he's mumbling and eren's groans into your pussy sends shockwaves against your clit, he nods vigorously. “ohh– shit,” you sit up on your elbows digging in the mud, hair soaked and heavy and your legs only spread wider; your eyes trained on eren's tongue making sloppy circles around the fat mound in your pussy.

eager, you slip your hands into eren's wet curls, stuffing his face into your cunt, “eren, eren– yea-ah!” his groans rumble in his throat and here came the fucking waterworks. your climax comes hard along with several slick kisses to your clit, beads of sweat and rain slipping down between a furrowed brow and a guttural moan ripping from your throat.

eren's mouth releases its latch onto you, your legs flopping into puddles of dirt beneath you. “prepped her f'you,” eren licks his lips and looks to onyankopon who sits there with a fat bulge beneath his jeans although unbuttoned.

“mm yeah?,” you both shuffle over to the wet patch of hay ony’ sat in, slightly less soaked albeit equally as muddy.

onyankopon gestures to eren with two fingers as he lifts himself up, brushing water from his face and allowing eren to take a seat against the wall. your eyes flicker between them, sitting with your butt resting on the heels of your feet feeling exposed. it doesn't help that eren reaches behind you to unhook your bra, your cheeks feel hot. nevertheless, you slip them off your arms.

onyankopon shucks down his jeans just below his ass,  “ [  ], come right here,” walking on your knees you shuffle forward to ony’ who puts a hand above the swell of your ass, pressing his bare chest to yours. ony's gaze is something serious, he bends his neck and clasps his lips to yours. it's slow, methodical and hot. onyankopon breathes deep and groans into your mouth. your body goes limp a little: drooping in his grasp and relaxing against his body as his tongue gently guided yours against his own. “mhm, okay . . . okay,” he presses a few kisses to your lips with a squeeze around your throat as he weans you off his mouth.

“turn ‘round,”

you whine, “w'nna look at'chu,” 

ony's unmoved, he swallows, “look at ‘ren, baby,” and he guides you as you turn in the slippery mud to arch your ass up to him, his palm glides down the small of your back deepening that arch while your head rests on your folded arms before you. the position makes it hard for you to focus properly on eren, you peep at him through your eyelashes.

your cunt is sticky, swollen lips bound together by the white film of your arousal after the orgasm eren gave you, and you feel ony's hands kneading your ass. he spreads them, watching your pussy lightly spread open with it. you hear his belt buckle jingle slightly as his hands continue to massage your back right along with the downpour. ony’ grips his cock in his hands, tugging the thick thing lightly a couple times. he catches eren staring as he pumps it harshly before pressing the fat tip against you. 

“fuuuck,” ony’ slaps his cockhead at your entrance letting it get coated by your arousal before slipping the first inch in slowly and already you're speechless. “holy– shit,” your cunt stretched to accommodate the girth and ony’ grips the curve of your back for leverage, letting out a guttural groan while slowly inching into you. 

he sits in it for a moment, allowing you just a moment to familiarize yourself with the fat pipe he just lay in you; then, he's pulling out slowly and pushing in again and you whine. “what the fuck,” you feel ony’ lean his weight over you, and you gasp as he starts smacking his hips to your ass.

paired with the wetness of the rain, his hips leave a stinging slap against you and you're faltering with your tits mushed against the mud. eren left your pussy sloppy, your cunt whipping up loads of cream slick around ony's cock and your mouth is just ajar. jaw tightening with shallow, whiny moans cascading past your lips, ‘ah's and ‘oh's are all the men hear. “mm, ony’,” you try to murmur, body giving way fully to the mud beneath and ony's grip on your tightens,”watchu’ want, hm',” he grumbles.

oh how he knows nothing of the way your clit throbs everytime his heavy balls slap against your cunt.

“wan'— wan’ it deeper, please,” and you gasp hard when ony’s hand comes up to your ass, digging his thumb into the curled rim of your butt before bringing a foot to the ground for leverage; his ankle beside your ear, you eagerly grab onto it. “got fuckin’ good manners, don't she?” he grunts out, and the other man nods. 

onyankopon gives you two warning strokes, pressing his cock to the hilt and curling his thumb inside your ass and you feel overwhelmed. then, you gasp in a loud sob  as ony’ starts drilling his cock deeper into you, his hips smack you hard and his weight presses you everytime he drives his cock in. “fuck, fuck–,” you're squealing, hands draw digs into the mud as you can't help but writhe against the mud. “feel good?” you all but whine in response, “feel fuckin' good?” “ye- yes!” you mewl out. ony’s muscles contract and you can see it in his leg, intent on keeping you from sliding away from him under the soaked muddy slop.

the noises are . . . obscene. pornographic bursts of air shooting out amidst the stirring up of your melting cunt and your cheeks burn with embarrassment along with fresh tears streaming but you're breathless. “so fuckin’ loud,” ony’ mumurs,  his lips curling into a smile when he hears the noises you make.

“m’– fuck, m’ sorry,” you weep and your walls squeeze ony’ tight. you feel a glob of slick collect at the tippy top of your cunt, the fat bulge of your clit and stickily drip down onto the ground with each rock of your bodies. “takin’ m'shit fuckin’ good, sugar,” onyankopon drawls low and you sob.

you hear him whistle above you and with  a quickness eren's pants come into view. he sits, legs spread with his groin in line with your face against the ground. he scoots forward enough so he can lift your head and replace the mud beneath your nose with the musk of his balls. “‘ren, ‘ren, ren,” you're chanting, itching for your orgasm approaching with each quick and sloppy drag of cock in you. “m” right here, girlie,” ony's pummeling you from behind and your drooly mouth now has eren's pretty tanned cock slapping against it. “holy– fuck, hng- shit,” you mutter out before you're latching your lips onto eren's tip, inviting him into your mouth. he controls it, gripping your braids and rocking your head onto his dick.

“c'mon, c'mon, takin’ that shit s'fuckin’ good,” eren praises when he starts to snap his hips into your mouth, matching ony's strokes. he strokes your soaked hair gently, juxtaposing the nasty aggression each rock of his hips brought. you gagged, muffled, globs of spit streaking down your chin as you relaxed your throat for eren's dick. in the same way, you're making a mess on ony's cock, coating his length in hot creamy release that trickled down your own cunt. “she's fuckin’ creamin' on it, E',” and you moan when eren laughs cruelly above you, “cream on y’fuckin’ cock, ma’,” he grunts.

each drag of cock against the ridges of your cunt, the slosh of your mouth had you moaning in a frenzy. “was’ ya’ problem, huh?” eren groans out, and onyankopon knows exactly what your problem is.

“mama's bout to fuckin’ nut, huh?” he can feel the extra squeeze around his cock and rolls his neck to let some rain coat his face and distract him from his own ache. they listen to how you squeal around eren's cock, hands grabbing at his jeans and ony’ pumps his thumb into your ass consistency. 

“mmm, fuck,” onyankopon hums, angling himself so the curve of his cock digs at you just right, and he smiles: satisfied when you start to squirm and fuss beneath him. eren pulls you off and you sob, coughing a little to clear your larynx. you whimper as eren all but ruts against your face. “keep her right fuckin’ there,” ony’ groans and you grasp onto eren's jeans, cunt twitching with each movement yet eren forces your shoulders back to keep your body where ony’ wants you: daggering his cock into you with a forcefull quickness that eren's rutting mimics. 

“ohmygod, oh!” you blubber out, chanting ‘shit, shit, shit's

“gon’ leave you fuckin’ gapin’, quit playin’,” and you weep.

your hips twitch and you feel the knot in your stomach stiffening, “wan’ you're cum, want y'all's c–cum, fuckkk,” wail into eren's skin and take his cock back into your mouth just as your cunt spurts and your ears feel clogged from the rush of blood to your abdomen. “take it, take it, take that cum, baby,” eren groans. you felt light-headed, stars twinkling at you around the edges of your vision as your eyes rolled and soon you were forced to blink away the brain fog to swallow the thick loads eren gushes into your mouth. 

he whines, unabashedly and onyankopon gives you a couple more strokes before his cock is digging into you to bury his surge of cum into you with a hiss.

eren falls back, letting you catch your breath and stroking rain away from your face. ony’ pulls out quick before you start to get sore, giving your cunt a few wet slaps before eren's pulling your limp aching body onto him to give you some relief. “gotchu’, gotchu’.” he consoles.

“c'mon, E,” ony’ rushes, “huh?”

“gotta’ get out the fuckin’ rain,” he puffs out a laugh before he's lifting you off eren. they both try not to slip in the mud, hurrying off into the ranch for long hot showers.

[fireandiceland]

Hetalia characters with dishes typical for their country - part 2 (part 1 here)

Spain: Paella de marisco (seafood paella) -> A surprisingly easy to make dish consisting of saffron infused rice with seafood. Other versions can also be made with meat from livestock (like the paella valenciana with chicken and rabbit) or be made vegetarian. The word "paella" is Valencian/Catalan and translates to "frying pan", the name of the dish originating from how it is traditionally cooked in a wide, shallow pan.

Prussia: Königsberger Klopse (königsberger dumplings) -> Named after the capital of East Prussia, these dumplings are made from minced vail, pork, or beef mixed with onions, eggs, and soaked white bread and cooked in saltwater. Some of the brewing water is then thickened into a sauce using roux, egg yolk and cream. It is traditionally served with boiled or mashed potatoes. Back then in Königsberg itself, the dish was known as Saure Klopse (sour dumplings).

South Italy: Pizza Margherita -> This flatbread made from leavened yeast dough topped with crushed tomatoes, mozzarella cheese and basil leaves. It is said to have earned it's name from appealing greatly to the Italian Queen Margherita when she tried the Neapolitan speciality, though newer reseach suggests that the name Margherita wasn't used until 40-50 years after the alleged incident.

Finland: Mustikkapiirakka (blueberry cake) -> Berries play a very important part in Finnish food culture, especially hand picked forest blueberries which are often turned into pastries and pies. A particularly popular pie is made with the pie crust eased into the tart tin with floured hands (not rolled out), then the blueberries and a custard filling are added and the cake baked until the top becomes golden-brown.

Sweden: Kannelbulle (cinnamon roll) -> Despite other Nordic countries claiming the invention of the sweet roll, very year on 4 October Sweden celebrates "Cinnamon Roll Day". A sheet of dough is covered in butter, sugar, and cinnamon, then rolled up and cut into the characteristic pieces. The are traditionlly baked in muffin wrappers and only dusted with sugar, they are lighter and less sweet than American cinnamon buns with icing.

Denmark: Flødeboller (cream puff) -> The fluffy, foamy inside of this treat is made from beaten egg whites mixed with sugar, dressed on a wafer and covered in chocolate. Often they are topped with coconut flakes, shredded almonds, or colourful sprinkles, making them a popular little "cake" for danish children to have for someone's birthday at school. They were first invented around 1800 in Denmark, but quickly became popular in France and Germany as well.

Norway: Kvæfjordkake (Kvæfjord cake) -> This sponge cake baked with meringue with almonds on top and then layered with vanilla or rum custard (sometimes mixed with whipped cream), is also dubbed the best cake in the world - Verdens beste. The name is based on the region it's inventer originates from. Starting in the 1930s as a variation of the kongekake ("king cake") with less almonds, as they were quite expensive, it is now a popular dessert for special celebrations.

Iceland: Rjómabollur (profiterole) -> A little sweet treat made from choux pastry filled with jam and whipped cream, the top dipped in chocolate and decorated with sprinkles. Traditionally, they are eaten on "Bun Day", the Monday before Ash Wednesday. Kids wake their parent up by smacking them with paper wands and every smack on the parent's bottom before their feet touch the ground translates into one bun which the parent owes to the child.

[inthedayswhenlandswerefew]

Napoleonville [Chapter 8: The New House]

Series Summary: The year is 1988. The town is Napoleonville, Louisiana. You are a small business owner in need of some stress relief. Aemond is a stranger with a taste for domination. But as his secrets are revealed, this casual arrangement becomes something more volatile than either of you could have ever imagined.

Chapter Warnings: Language, references to sexual content (18+ readers only), dom/sub dynamics, smoking, infidelity, kids, parenthood, historical topics like violence and discrimination, Cakes with Christabel, angst?? Who am I kidding. Angst!!!!!!

Word Count: 5.9k.

Link to chapter list (and all my writing): HERE.

Taglist: @marvelescvpe @toodlesxcuddles @era127 @at-a-rax-ia @0eessirk8 @arcielee @dd122004dd @humanpurposes @taredhunter @tinykryptonitewerewolf @partnerincrime0 @dr-aegon @persephonerinyes @namelesslosers @burningcoffeetimetravel-fics @gemini-mama @daenysx @chattylurker @moonlightfoxx @huramuna @britt-mf @myspotofcraziness @padfooteyes @targaryenbarbie @trifoliumviridi @joliettes @darkenchantress @florent1s @babyblue711 @minttea07 @libroparaiso @bluerskiees @herfantasyworldd @elizarbelll @urmomsgirlfriend1 @fudge13 @strangersunghoon @wickedfrsgrl

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“I have no idea what he’s thinking,” Christabel tells Alicent, a low furtive murmur around nibbles of a cinnamon French toast cupcake. They are both sitting at the kitchen counter as you scuttle around wiping down burners and handles and knobs, trying not to listen in, unable to help yourself. At the table, Amir is frosting a Lady Baltimore cake and chatting with Criston, who has eaten no less than three miniature cherry pies in the past fifteen minutes. Amir keeps casting you wide-eyed, flummoxed glances. He means: Can you believe these people? No, you can’t.

Alicent sips the glass of sweet tea you poured for her and gazes vaguely around the room. “Oh, you know how Aemond is, dear. He works so hard. He’s so consumed by the Lake Verret project.”

“But shouldn’t he talk to me?” Christabel’s large blue eyes are luminous, persistent.

“Don’t be ridiculous, darling. Of course he talks to you.”

“Sure,” Christabel says, frowning. “He talks to me about the weather and the garden and the koi in the fish pond. He asks if I listen to Dire Straights or AC/DC. Nothing of consequence, nothing revealing. And he never touches me. Alright, fine, there’s a hand on my shoulder or my waist once in a while, for a moment. There are quick, courteous kisses. But that’s all. And he’s so…so…” She struggles to decide on a word. “Formal!”

“Have you tried the cannoli cupcake yet?” Alicent asks, sliding the plate towards Christabel. “It’s just divine. I absolutely adore it.”

“When we’re apart he says he misses me, but he hardly ever calls. He tells me that he loves me, but only if I say it first.”

“He’s marrying you!” Alicent declares as she restlessly twists her assortment of glittering rings, gold and diamonds and emeralds. “What more is there to say, dear?”

“Surely there must be something,” Christabel mumbles. She obediently samples the cannoli cupcake, carving away a tiny sliver with her fork. “Oh, that is wonderful, isn’t it?”

“I think it’s my favorite one yet.”

They have twelve flavors to choose from, some familiar and some new: vanilla bean and triple chocolate of course, the classics, and then also cannoli, cinnamon French toast, carrot, red velvet, Boston cream pie, apple cobbler, peanut butter and grape jelly, Neapolitan, Louisiana crunch, and hummingbird. Christabel surveys the selection and then looks to where you are vigorously scrubbing an already clean stovetop. “Aemond mentioned something about banana bread cupcakes. Do you have one of those we could try?”

And again, you are amazed by how much he remembers: the very first cupcake from the very first night. “Um…I’m not sure, actually. Amir, didn’t we make a batch earlier this week? Are there any still on the table?”

Amir checks the cake plates, lifting glass covers, until he locates a single remaining banana bread cupcake for your customers. He ferries it to the kitchen counter with great ceremony. “Everyone raves about this flavor! And it’s so quintessentially southern. Perfect for a Louisiana wedding.” You give him a miserable, deadened stare and he offers a millisecond smirk of commiseration. What else can we do? Amir means. And you think: Nothing.

Christabel samples the cupcake, an infinitesimal morsel speared on the very tip of her fork. You recall how Aemond tasted like sugar and honey and cinnamon when he kissed you on the night you met, rough, dominating, irresistible, without the aching weight of disappointments or betrayals. If time was a cobweb you could rip and walk through, you’d be back in that May dusk in an instant, you’d live there forever and never leave.

“That’s it.” Christabel grins as she licks cream cheese frosting from her full, pink lips. “This one. I want a banana bread cake.”

“Mmm,” Alicent agrees, taking a bite. “It has so many dimensions! Sweet with just a touch of salt, light and fluffy but with a certain substantial, rustic quality, don’t you think? It’s the cinnamon, perhaps.”

You make a note on your yellow legal pad—a reminder you don’t need—so you can avoid Christabel’s benign, guileless gaze. “Is there a design you’d like for the frosting?”

“Wildflowers.”

Amir emits a startled gasp before he can swallow it back down. You look up at Christabel. “I’m sorry, what was that?”

“Just like the vanilla bean cake you made for the engagement party.” She draws blossoms in the air with her fingers, whimsical like a fairytale. “There was white icing and then all these gorgeous flowers in a dozen different colors. You could do that for a wedding cake, couldn’t you?”

“Of course.” And then you amend: “Well, Amir can. He’s our Picasso.”

“You’ll need something for the rehearsal dinner too, dear,” Alicent tells Christabel. Then she turns to you, tugging anxiously at one of her auburn ringlets. “You’re the expert, love. What would you recommend to impress upon our guests all the history and mystique of the Deep South?”

Your mind is blank, your thoughts gnarled up with visions of Christabel meeting Aemond at the end of an aisle. Amir sees this and he saves you.

“A Napoleon cake,” he announces with his best salesman enthusiasm, powerful enough to sweep everyone else along with him.

Alicent claps her hands, elated. “Oh, just like the town!”

“It has layers of puff pastry and rich custard cream, very French, very elegant and sophisticated, but also a nod to Napoleonville. And we can add a cherry jam to make it more romantic, if you like.”

“Doesn’t that just sound heavenly, darling?”

“Does Aemond like cherries?” Christabel asks Alicent. You know he does, but you don’t say anything.

“I think so. We’ll ask him tonight to be sure.” Alicent is opening her clutch purse to get the cash to pay you; she is eager to have this errand finished, you believe. “And can you put wildflowers on top of the Napoleon cake as well?”

“You can have the Declaration of Independence written on it if that is your heart’s desire,” Amir says, then steals a glimpse of you. You’re jotting the order down and then tracing over your own letters again and again.

“That’s the color scheme,” Christabel says a bit dreamily, forever woolgathering. “Wildflowers. And I think you suggested it at the engagement party,” she tells you, appreciative. In your recollection, it was less of a suggestion than a confession of what you once dared to hope for. “Everything has to have wildflowers. Even the dress.”

Alicent groans. “Oh, Christabel, not this again.”

“I don’t know why you’re being so resistant, those dresses were spectacular.”

“Whoever heard of a multicolored wedding dress?” Alicent asks you, Amir, Criston. “It’s absurd. The bride always wears pure white, everyone knows that. It’s tradition! It’s dignified!”

“Well now I get to solicit opinions too.” Christabel reaches into her own purse—a quilted shoulder bag, light blue with red roses and a label reading Souleiado stitched inside—and produces several polaroid photographs. She gives them to you; they are all of her posing in different wedding dresses, stylish white gowns freckled with wildflowers like splashes of paint. “All anyone can talk about is what I should wear, what the guests will expect, what they will chatter about when they gossip afterwards,” Christabel tells you. And in her vast, shimmering eyes you can detect no resentment or slyness, only quiet desperation. “But you’re a real person. So be honest with me, because there’s only one thing I really care about. Will my husband think I look ravishing in any of them?”

“These theatrics,” Alicent sighs to herself, lighting a Marlboro cigarette. Again, she is peering aimlessly around the kitchen. Amir fidgets with the dogwood flower in his hair as he watches you wearily. Criston compulsively eats another miniature cherry pie.

You study the polaroid photos. Each one feels like a split lip, a fractured rib, the shredding elephantine pressure of a contraction. You wait to speak until you’re sure your voice won’t break. “They’re all stunning. But this one…” You place one picture on top of the pile. “This dress was made for you. Just look at your face. Glowing like a lightning bug.”

“Thank you,” Christabel says, beaming, immensely grateful, and she takes the photos back. She seems pacified. “You’re married, aren’t you?”

“I was, yes. Briefly. Not very happily, I must admit. But it was worth it to get my daughter.”

She smiles. There’s no uneasiness; she doesn’t shy away from displays of human frailty. “I’d like a few daughters one day. We could all dress up together and style each other’s hair.”

“I wouldn’t count on it. If I tried that, I’d get my hands chewed off.”

Christabel laughs. She wears a casual blue t-shirt, blue gingham capri trousers, and white flat pumps. Her eyeshadow is a sparkling gold, her mascara flaking onto the apples of her cheeks. She is still marveling at you with those aquamarine eyes when Alicent pulls a list out of her clutch and grudgingly crosses off items with a black ballpoint pen.

“So we’ve got a wedding cake, a rehearsal dinner cake, a dress, a venue, flowers, photographers…I still need to call about hair and makeup…and we need to pick out candles…”

“Where are you getting married?” you ask Christabel.

“The most unique, picturesque, atmospheric place in the entire state of Louisiana, I’m sure of it.”

“We took a drive to visit that church you mentioned,” Alicent says to you. “And it was absolutely perfect. None of our guest will have ever seen anything like it. And it’s so historic! Over 150 years old! The Chapel of Saint Honoratus of Amiens.”

Amir squeals, a distressed mewing that he stifles with a feigned cough into his elbow. You stand shellshocked for a few seconds before managing a generic encouragement: “Really! Wow! Amazing! Great!”

Now Christabel is rather melancholy again. She scrutinizes her engagement ring, a large teardrop emerald with a gold band. Her voice is low, like she’s talking to herself. “I just wish…I don’t know. That we had more time together before the wedding, I suppose. Then I think I’d feel like I had more of a handle on things. It’s all been such a whirlwind, such a shock. A good shock, but still. We hardly know each other.”

Alicent prompts her: “You care for Aemond, don’t you, dear?”

“I’m in awe of him,” Christabel replies, a little dazed, a little defenseless. “He’s so clever and gallant. He’s the most inspiring man I’ve ever known. And the scar…it gives him quite a roguish look, doesn’t it? Like a Bond villain. It’s not a detriment in the least.”

“Yes, yes,” Alicent says impatiently, like she’s waiting for the conversation to be over. “Then there’s nothing more to worry about. You care for him, he cares for you, and you’ll have the honeymoon to get better acquainted. Criston, would you go outside and start the Lexus, please?” He dutifully departs.

Honeymoon. Your stomach lurches, the sea in a storm. You can see Aemond’s hands on Christabel’s face, in her hair, skating up her bare thighs. You can hear him moaning her name.

“We’re going to Greece,” Christabel informs you, thinking she’s being polite. “Athens, Mykonos, Santorini, and Corfu. Have you ever been?”

I’ve never been anywhere. But instead you say, forcing a smile: “Not yet.”

When Christabel, Alicent, and Criston have gone, you look to Amir. Your blood has turned to cement: cold, heavy, immobile, trapped. “You realize she’s getting my wedding, right? The one I always wanted. The wildflowers. The candles. The chapel.”

“And she’ll even be taking your favorite dick home at the end of the night.”

You cover your face with both hands and shake your head, trying to clear it, to drive out mirages of someone else’s oasis. This can’t be real. I can’t handle it, I can’t survive it.

Amir pushes his tortoiseshell glasses up the bridge of his nose and says, gently now: “If we’re catering dessert, we’ll have to go to the wedding. The rehearsal dinner too.”

“Why would they want that? How can they not see how insanely awkward and wrong this is?”

He shrugs. “They probably think it’s normal. Wasn’t Camilla at Charles and Diana’s wedding?”

“If one more person tries to talk to me about Camilla Parker Bowles, I’m going to feed myself to the gator.”

“You’ll have to come to terms with it or you’ll have to end it. Those are the only options.”

“Yeah.” And it’s not just about me. It’s Cadi’s life too.

Amir sits down at the kitchen table, crosses one leg over the other, kicks his foot nervously. He rests an elbow on the tabletop and his chin on the knuckles of his left hand. “I hate to give you more bad news.”

You already know what he’s going to say. You’ve been dreading it for months. “You have enough money saved for San Franscisco.”

“I do.”

You exhale, your shoulders collapsing, tapping your fingertips against the counter. The air conditioner whirrs; the cicadas shriek in the trees outside. The house is hushed and still. Cadi is away at horse camp. Each day you receive a postcard in the mail that you assume the employees forced her to write at gunpoint. “When are you leaving?”

“The end of July. I’ll wait until after the wedding, once all the dust has settled. But I can’t wait any longer than that.”

“I want you to be happy,” you say. “I really do. But I’m going to miss you so much. You’ve been my best friend for a decade. You’re the closest thing I’ve ever had to a partner in life.”

Amir smiles faintly. “Come over here.”

When you sit beside him, he takes your hands in his; and you remember how he visited you in the hospital after Cadi was born, carrying a bouquet of wildflowers he picked himself and a Tupperware container full of crawfish pistolettes. He had been just a casual friend before you found out you were pregnant, one of a group, and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t keep him at an arm’s length. Amir was different, and not in a way that you fully understood or accepted yet. But he was the only friend who had no judgment for you when you told him you were pregnant, who cared about how you felt, who wanted to be a part of whatever would happen next. He was the only one who stayed.

“I’ve never had a boyfriend,” Amir tells you. “I’ve never even been on a date, not once. I’ve never been in love. I’ve never had sex that wasn’t a one night stand in a New Orleans club or the back seat of my Ford Escort because those were the only places we had to go. And I’m starting to believe that people like me can’t have more than that. So I have to go someplace where I can have more, where I will have more. I don’t want love to be something that only other people get to experience. I don’t want to be afraid of leaving my house after dark or wake up every day wondering if someone has broken a window out of my car again. I have to go. There’s no future for me here. If I stay in Napoleonville, this place will kill me, one way or the other.”

Okay, you think. I can let him go. After everything he’s done for me, this is how I can be the friend that he deserves in return. “You should leave, Amir,” you say, tears stinging in your eyes. “I hear you, I understand you. I just wish I could go with you.”

“No, don’t cry, don’t cry! This isn’t the end. I’ll fly back to visit, you know that. Grandma’s still here, you and Cadi are here. And you can visit me too. Maybe you’ll even settle down on the West Coast someday. Eight more years and you’re free.”

You try to imagine your life then: Cadi headed off to college—and she will go to college, you’ve already decided that—and your tether to Willis weakened, closer to 40 years old than 30, Aemond and Christabel nearing their anniversary. How many children will they have by then? Three? Four? And the Lake Verret project will be well-established and no longer in need of so much of Aemond’s attention, and the house they call The Last Desire will sit empty on the lakeshore, warm draughts breathing through it like blood in veins. “I wouldn’t know how to exist anywhere else.”

“You’d learn,” Amir says confidently. “Now, have you ever made a Napoleon cake before?”

“I don’t think so. Not that I can remember.” You consider this. “My mom might have a recipe lying around somewhere. I’ll call and ask her.”

“Yes, do that,” Amir agrees. “If she doesn’t, I’ll try to dig one up at the library. We’ll want to have a few practice runs before the rehearsal dinner. Gotta impress the Rockefellers and their soulless millionaire ilk. Unless you were planning to have a homicidal meltdown and make the custard out of antifreeze or something.”

You chuckle. “No. Probably not.”

“It would be difficult to blame you.” And he turns on the little pink Panasonic radio: Alone by Heart.

~~~~~~~~~~

In a spacious corner booth of the Olive Garden in Gonzales, Aemond is talking about Lake Verret as you pick at your Tour of Italy and Frank Sinatra pipes through the speakers. You could swear they have the same three songs playing on a loop: Fly Me To The Moon, My Way, Luck Be A Lady, back to outer space again.

“But by total coincidence, Daeron has been researching desalination techniques for his latest article. Apparently there are ways to try to mitigate the damage and reduce the brackishness of the water, so we’re going to be—”

Abruptly, you ask: “Where does Christabel think you are right now?”

Aemond’s forehead crinkles, his fork hovers above his plate of herb-grilled salmon. He’s wearing a black t-shirt and his Marlboro jacket, jeans, Adidas sneakers. “Why do you care?”

“She’s getting the wedding I always wanted, did you even notice? She’s getting married at the Chapel of Saint Honoratus of Amiens in Belle River. She’s getting wildflowers and flickering candles.” And she’s getting you too.

“Okay,” Aemond says slowly. “I’m not involved in any of that.”

“I think you are, actually, because you’re kind of the groom.”

“But I don’t do the wedding planning,” he insists. “I have no idea what Christabel has arranged. My job is to be there on the day in a suit and that’s just about the extent of the real estate it takes up in my brain.”

“She’s never mentioned any of that to you? Not once? You’d swear on your life?”

He sets down his fork with a clang and stares fixedly at you. Your waitress glances over from several tables away where she is refilling a couple’s sweet tea glasses. “What do you want me to say? I’m sorry you had good ideas and other people liked them. It fucking sucks that you didn’t get the wedding you wanted when you were seventeen. But that wasn’t my fault. I didn’t know you yet, and you didn’t know me. You can’t blame me for what Willis or anyone else did.”

“But it’s not fair,” you choke out, sounding weak and juvenile, and you hate it but you can’t stop. “I understand that you’re marrying her, I get that, but she can’t have everything.”

“Look…” Aemond laces his hands together on top of the table, and his voice softens. “Even if Christabel didn’t exist, even if you were from my world, even if you were a duchess or a socialite or the daughter of the president of the United States of America, I still couldn’t marry you.”

You scoff; it’s despicable. “Because of Cadi?”

“No,” Aemond says, like that’s preposterous, like he’d never consider her to be a liability. “Because I have to have heirs.”

“Fuck you,” you hiss with vitriol that stuns him. Now the waitress is gawking. “You’re going to manipulate Christabel into walking down that aisle and then immediately get her pregnant?”

“Why are you mad at me?! I’m listening to you, I’m respecting you! You don’t want to have any more children of your own, fine, completely reasonable, I would never ask you to have a baby and go through all of that again for the sake of the Targaryen dynasty, but somebody has to!”

“You really don’t understand why I would empathize with a teenage girl trying to raise a child when she’s lonely and exhausted and confused about why the man she married isn’t turning out to be who she expected?”

Aemond shakes his head like it’s not a valid comparison. “She wants this.”

“She doesn’t know what it is. She doesn’t understand what she’s signing up for.”

“Everyone from a family like mine goes through this,” Aemond says. “My grandparents did, my mum and dad did, Aegon did, even bloody Charles and Diana did, and now it’s my turn. There are growing pains, but people adjust and it all works out eventually. Christabel will learn to manage her expectations, and once the children are born she can find happiness wherever and with whoever she wants to.”

“But you’ll be with her,” you forced out, voice fracturing, and at first Aemond doesn’t grasp what you mean. “You’ll…you’ll sleep with her. You’ll touch her, you’ll kiss her, you’ll do everything with her.”

“Surely you, as someone who called up a stranger from a personal ad in the Bayou Journal, comprehends that sex can be a solely physical act under the right circumstances.”

“So what, you’ll fuck me and then go home to her? Or you’ll fuck her and come home to me? And I’m supposed to live like that?”

“Yes,” he says, like it’s simple, like it’s easy.

You gaze morosely out of the restaurant window. In the distance is a Dollar General, a Burger King, the Kmart where you had to buy your own engagement ring.

“Do you want me to tell Christabel to change the wedding?”

“No.”

“Because if I tell her to pick a new venue, new flowers, new cakes, whatever, she’ll do it.”

“No. She likes her wedding. I can’t take that away from her. She thinks I’m her friend.”

“Cupcake,” Aemond says, tenderly now. You turn back to him. “I don’t want to fight with you. I’m going to be gone for a while, four or five days. I have to fly to Norway and inspect some of the offshore rigs we have up there.”

“In the North Sea?” you ask, alarmed. “Isn’t that dangerous?”

“I mean, it’s oil drilling. It’s one of the most deadly professions in the world. But that’s how we built our fortune, our legacy. I’ve survived before, I’m sure I will again. If you need anything while I’m gone, you can call the house. Criston knows that you’re to be taken care of.”

“No one else can go to Norway instead of you?”

“I have to go.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s my responsibility.”

“Because Viserys told you to?”

“They amount to the same thing.”

“I don’t think you should listen to him.”

“I have to go,” Aemond says again. He takes out his wallet and lays $30 on the table. “But there’s something I need to show you first.”

As Aemond’s red Audi Quattro barrels down Route 70 southbound towards Napoleonville, you say very little to each other. Once you were strangers, and the words flowed easily and your bodies intertwined with effortless need, and now you have known each other for nearly two months and shared days and nights and confessions and yet every ghost filled up the space between you until it was a splinter, a gap, a gulf, a chasm. You miss the person he was when he showed up on your sloping, creaking porch steps back in May. You miss the person you were before you found out about Christabel.

A Men At Work song comes on the car radio, and it takes you a moment to figure out which one. It’s Down Under, a bewildering hit from 1981. “I never understood this song,” you say, staring through the open window as a jungle of southern live oaks, dogwoods, and cypresses rolls by. Rivulets of opaque, slow-moving bayou water snake through the wild green. Pelicans flap their wings in the pink-golden dusk sky. “What’s a head full of zombie? What’s a Vegemite sandwich?”

Aemond laughs, a smoldering Marlboro Red nestled in his left hand. You wonder if once he’s married he’ll wear a gold band on his ring finger, if he’ll take it off when he cheats with you. “Cupcake, it’s obviously about Australia.”

“What?”

“Down Under? As in, literally below the rest of us in the Southern Hemisphere? Head full of zombie means they’ve been smoking weed. Vegemite is a kind of yeast spread they put on sandwiches. I’ve had it, it’s disgusting. The whole song is in Australian slang. Everyone knows it’s about Australia.”

I didn’t. You look out your window again. Aemond takes note and swiftly backpedals.

“But I mean, I can see how an American wouldn’t know that. No big deal, okay? To anyone in the Commonwealth, Australia is like our fuckup sibling. It’s our Aegon. But you guys probably don’t really learn about Australia in school. So…yeah. It’s probably not as obvious as I assumed.”

“Maybe I missed that lesson,” you say. Maybe I missed that year.

In a brand new neighborhood just outside the town center of Napoleonville, Aemond parks in the paved driveway of a ranch house on a three or four acre lot. The yard is bordered by a white masonry fence with chicken wire around the base to keep snakes and gators out. There are a few dogwood and bay laurel trees, and one monstrous southern live oak that’s probably two hundred years old. Aemond cuts the Audi Quattro’s engine and steps out into the twilight.

“Aemond? What are we doing here?”

“Follow me.”

“Why?”

He walks around to your side of the car, opens the door, and leans down to grab your face with his right hand, his fingers hooked around the curve of your jaw. Instantly, there is a bolt down your spine: hunger, warmth, weakness, momentum that is thoughtless like falling from a great height. “Follow me,” he repeats, grinning mischievously. “Right now.”

Aemond has a key that unlocks the front door. Inside is rose pink carpeting and mauve walls, a sunken conversation pit, popcorn ceilings, mini blinds on the windows, closet doors covered with mirrors. You can see your face reflected in them, puzzled.

“This is the living room, clearly,” Aemond says as he continues briskly through the house. As an afterthought, he kicks off his Adidas sneakers so he doesn’t track any dirt inside. You do the same, sliding off your cheap flats from Kmart. He points down a hallway. “There are two guest bedrooms down there, and then a big one at the other end of the house with its own private bath. Here’s the kitchen…” He leads you through it, mint green with pristine black and white tiles on the floor. “And over there is the dining room.” It’s a kind, golden yellow like dawn or sunset.

“Aemond, what—?”

“Bedroom next,” he interrupts, hurrying you along.

At the end of the hall, he opens a door to reveal a sprawling chamber. It is blue like his bedroom in the Targaryen mansion, but not a deep, vivid sapphire color; it is a pale blue like prairie flax or a clear midday sky. The carpet is lush and soft. There are mirrors on the ceiling.

“Those are optional,” Aemond clarifies, pointing upwards. “But personally, I like them.”

“Aemond, whose house is this?”

“It’s yours,” he says.

“It’s what?!”

“Well, technically, it isn’t yours quite yet,” he admits. “I bought it in cash, it will close in a week or two. At that point I’ll sell it to you for $1—the same price as one of your cupcakes, incidentally—and then it will officially be your house. And it doesn’t even have a sinking foundation or any alligators. Imagine the possibilities.”

“But…but…”

“Cadi’s bedroom is green, like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I’ve been told the yard is big enough for one horse, or two very small horses. Ponies, I guess.”

“You cannot buy me a house,” you say, aghast.

“I think I already did.” He holds out the key to you, resting in his palm among lines of prophesy.

You are paralyzed; it takes you forever to find your words. “Aemond, I’ll never be able to repay you.”

“You don’t owe me anything. It’s a gift, not a trade,” he says, the key still lying in his outstretched hand. “Every cent I spend on you, every second I spend with you, is solely because I want to do it and for no other reason. There’s no obligation. There’s no quid pro quo. And that’s what I feel like you don’t understand. I have no logical reason to keep you in my life, absolutely none, aside from the fact that I want you to be here. And I want that with everything I’m made of. I never stop wanting it. So let me help you. Take the key. Take the house.”

His right eye is on you, imploring, commanding. At last, you lift the key from his palm. Studying it like the cryptic letter of a foreign language, you murmur: “You shouldn’t have done this.”

Aemond rakes his fingers through your hair, tilts your face up towards his, skims his lips feather-lightly from your cheekbone down to your lips—though he doesn’t kiss you, only ghosts his flesh over yours, a taste, a taunt—and then up to the curl of your ear. His whispered voice is colored with wicked scarlet desire. “You don’t tell me what to do. I tell you what to do.”

If he yanked off your t-shirt you would let him. If he unzipped your denim shorts and slipped his artful fingers inside them he would find panties soaked through for him. You would let him do anything he wanted to you, here in this glass-fragile liminality before he becomes Christabel’s in law, in body, in inked and inerasable history. But it would not be because you want to, not because you feel ready in your bones, not because you trust him again. It would only be because you could not bring yourself to resist.

Aemond reads this on your face; he stops before you have to tell him to.

~~~~~~~~~~

On July 1st, Cascade Stables is swarming with parents as they descend upon the property to collect their children and meet the horses they’ve spent the past week with. There is a stereo somewhere blaring Your Love by The Outfield; apparently, this does not disturb the horses. You find Cadi beside the stall of a very tall, willowy beast, ears upright and alert, one bulging eye onyx and the other a striking icy blue. Its coat is white with a splattering of rust-colored stains. Even its mane and tail are comprised of alternating strands, dark, light, earth, clouds, cocoa powder, granulated sugar.

“His name is Patches,” Cadi tells you proudly as she pets the leviathan’s velvety muzzle. “He has a wall eye. And he’s a real handful and usually they only allow the experienced campers to ride him, but they let me try and he listened so well I got to keep him all week!”

“Wow, that’s incredible! Good job! Did you learn a lot about how to take care of him?”

“Yeah. They taught me how to feed Patches and clean his hooves and put a saddle on him. And how to hit him with a hairbrush when he tries to bite me.”

Your eyebrows shoot up. “Right. Okay.”

“Can we buy him? He’s for sale. Probably because of all the biting.”

“Who, Patches?” You definitely cannot afford to board a horse; and then you remember the new house. “I’ll think about it.”

Cadi peeks around you. “Daddy isn’t here too?”

“No, honey, I’m sorry. He had to work. But he really wanted to see the horses and he is looking forward to hearing all about your adventures.” This is a lie—Willis seems only dimly aware of the concept of a horse camp, and he is staunchly incurious by nature—but a compassionate one.

Cadi accepts the explanation readily enough. “Alright. Is Aemond your boyfriend yet?”

“Um.” You thread the horse’s forelock through your fingers to buy yourself time. It seems unwise to try to deceive her again; Cadi will learn about Christabel sooner or later. “No, we’re still just friends.” You pause. She watches you, knowing there’s more. “Actually, he’s getting married this month.”

“What?!” Cadi is shocked, but she’s outraged too. “To who?!”

“To a nice lady named Christabel. And I’m sure they’ll be very happy together.” Another lie. And you think for the first time: If I settle for being Aemond’s mistress, if I let it tear me to pieces…what am I teaching Cadi?

Your daughter doesn’t say anything for a long time. She pets Patches’ speckled face, her own expression tense and thoughtful, lines and worries that should be far beyond her age. At last she says quietly: “Is it because of me?”

You are mystified. “What, honey?”

“Is the reason why you and Aemond can’t get married because of me?”

There is a flash of crimson wrath in your skull—protective, animalistic, wronged on her behalf—but no one to direct it at. “No. No, absolutely not. Why would you say that?”

Cadi shrugs, and you recognize it as her self-preservation, faux-flippant shrug. “I don’t know. One time I heard Michelle’s mom talking about how no decent man wants to deal with some other guy’s kids. And that’s me when I’m at your house. Another guy’s kid.”

Oh, fuck you, Janet. “No,” you say again. “Aemond likes you a lot, Cadi. He cares about you.” He picked out a house that could accommodate a horse for you. “You’re the opposite of a problem. He actually likes me more because of you, I think.”

“Okay.” And she’s relieved, although she’s trying not to show it. “Then why is he marrying someone else?”

“Well…it’s complicated.”

“Complicated how?”

Where the hell do I start? “Aemond and I are very different people,” you tell Cadi. “And we want different things out of life. We like to spend time together, but that doesn’t mean that we’d be able to share our whole lives…homes, careers, values, everything. His family has a lot of expectations of him that I don’t feel right supporting, but Aemond wants to respect their rules. And, you know. He’s a robber baron.”

“But he doesn’t talk about Jade Dragon Energy or oil around me. He talks about history.”

You sigh, watching dust motes swirl through the hot, sunlit stable air, listening to horses nicker and huff. “I know, honey.”

“I don’t even think he wants to be a robber baron. I think he wants to be something else.”

“Like what?” you ask, picking stray bits of yellow straw out of her short, disheveled hair. And remarkably, Cadi tolerates this.

“I don’t know, just…just…” She battles with the words, then finds one she likes. “Free, I guess. Just free.”

[alittlepudge-neverhurtnobody]

kinktober #22

Exposed 😳 / Bewitching 🧙‍♀️

Jack’s pants are getting tight, and it’s all Bittle’s fault. He has to unbutton them after his break, grateful for the extra camouflage of his apron. He had been so good until Bittle showed up with his sweet blond cowlick and his entrancing Southern drawl and his devastatingly delicious little pies. 

Look, Jack has worked in and around food service for most of his life. His dad is practically Tim Horton, if Tim Horton was more sophisticated and was really into fair-trade, single-origin coffee. He knows that the only way to make food taste that good is to add an unholy amount of butter. 

He’d been doing so well at restricting less, which is the part that really sucks. Since his therapist, George, went on maternity leave three months ago, he’s backslid from a tenuous recovery back into overanalyzing his body and what he’s putting into it. Every time he looks at the plate of pies in the back of house, he finds himself doing the mental math: if he eats one, he’ll have a salad for lunch. If he eats two, he’ll have a small salad for lunch. If he eats three or more, he doesn’t need lunch because he’ll have already eaten too much. George would not condone this kind of thinking, but she’s still out for another three weeks, so it’s just Jack against his stupid brain and the world.

His stomach growls under his snug logo t-shirt. He needs to size up, but he’s been putting it off in hopes that if he waits long enough, he’ll drop some weight and he won’t need to add an extra X after all. So far he just keeps catching his reflection in the elegant iron-framed mirror across the cafe and noticing how the crimson fabric pulls across his broad back, how it gets folded into what’s starting to be a(nother) roll at his sides. 

Bittle glows in his stupid crimson shirt. It makes his cheeks pinker, his eyes browner, his skin brighter, like a perfect scoop of neapolitan ice cream. It makes Jack hungry to look at him, no matter how much he tells himself it’s just association. It’s just how sometimes they brush past each other behind the counter and he catches the smell of fruit and pastry wafting off him, how just the sight of him makes Jack want. Want to touch, want to eat, want to fill up some emptiness inside himself with sugar and fat.

Man, he has got to get back to therapy.

He tried not to let himself count how many pies he ate today, but he can feel in his gut that it was too many. It’s always too many, now, and he knows Bittle’s crunching the numbers from the way he always smiles more coming out of the back of house after a shift. Jack tries not to let himself think about that, either.

Maybe Bittle’s a witch. That would explain a lot.

Though right now, he doesn’t exactly look it. He’s steaming milk for a latte, standing as far back as he possibly can while still exposing the milk to any heat. He got a nasty burn on his hand from the steamer wand in his first week and hasn’t trusted the thing since. It would almost be cute if it didn’t make it basically impossible for Jack to squeeze by in the space left over.

Unfortunately, the register and the stacks of hot cups are on the other side of the counter, beyond Bittle and the steamer and the remnants of Jack’s dignity, and there’s a gaggle of scrubbed-up medical students approaching with caffeine in their sights, and there is no way Bittle is going to be finished steaming that milk by the time they’re ready to order. This kind of prescience is what makes Jack an excellent barista: he can see ten steps ahead and plan his moves well in advance, so he’s never scrambling when the moment comes. It also gives him a lot of time to worry.

He grits his teeth. It’s so much worse that it’s medical students, somehow. They’re all so — small. They can’t be much younger than Jack himself, but — maybe unsurprisingly, given how Jack’s doctor talked about his weight at his last physical — they all look like they run twenty miles every morning and eschew anything with calories.

Which is especially unfair, because Jack runs every morning, too. His body just wants him to be fat. And so, apparently, does Eric Bittle.

He takes a deep breath and eyes the space between Bittle’s slight, lithe body and the counter. Bittle probably never has to think about this. He can probably fit in anywhere, and no one ever thinks it’s weird or tells him he’s obsessed with food or that it’s no wonder he looks the way he does when he starts yapping about desserts.

Jack grits his teeth. “Excuse me,” he says softly, but Bittle doesn’t hear him over the shriek of the steamer. “Excuse me,” he tries again, louder, just as the bell at the front door dings and the medical students cluster in, chattering loudly, and when Bittle still doesn’t reply, he squeezes himself between him and the counter.

Bittle freezes, which is somehow worse than anything else. Jack’s face starts to burn. Although his apron hasn’t moved, he feels like his unbuttoned pants must be on display for the everyone in the shop to see, for the entire city to gawk at through the tall front windows, branding him as too big, too wide. The medical students haven’t so much as glanced in his direction, but Bittle, clutching the metal steamer cup and a coffee-stained rag, is staring right at him.

“Jack?” he says, and it might as well just be the two of them on the planet. 

Jack feels like a cornered dog, ready to snap, to sink his teeth into Bittle just for asking. Anything would be better than having to be vulnerable about this.

“Don’t,” he grinds out, and he makes the coffees for the med students. He rings them up, he smiles as politely as he can. Bittle — small, shining, perfect Bittle — presses himself against the back counter as Jack moves back and forth, aching.

—

Bittle leaves without a word when his shift is over. Jack has several more hours on the clock to feel bad about it, no matter how much Shitty, the closer, tries to make him laugh. 

It’s not until Jack has clocked out, hauled himself down the block to his parking spot, and safely ensconced himself in his car that he sees the text from Bittle. 

Hey! I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable today. We can talk about it if you want, or I can switch to weekends or something when you’re off.

Jack stares down at his phone. 

No, I’m sorry. I’ve been taking some things out on you that you don’t deserve, and that’s on me. You haven’t done anything but make me question some things.

Delete. Delete. Delete. 

No, I’m sorry. I’ve been taking some things out on you that you don’t deserve, and that’s on me. It’s not your fault. I’m just realizing I have a lot more work to do around my relationships with food and my body than I thought.

Delete. Delete. Delete.

No, I’m sorry. I’ve been taking some things out on you that you don’t deserve, and that’s on me. It’s not your fault. My therapist is on leave right now and I’m not doing great.

He crushes his eyes shut until his phone vibrates with Bitty’s response: Your therapist! I do love a man who values his mental health. I understand, anyway. Can I do anything to help?

Jack scoffs. No, I just need to get out of my head. You’re fine, really.

Actually, can I ask you something? Even if it might be a little forward?

That depends on the question.

If you’re enjoying my pies (and don’t you dare tell me if you’re not), why haven’t you said a word to me about them?

Jack flushes. He thinks Bittle’s teasing, though he’s never been good at reading tone and his anxiety doesn’t help. But he took the mention of his therapist well, at least? That seems like it might be something? And besides, it’s not like he can really pretend nothing’s wrong with the way he’s treated Bittle or the pies at this point. 

Finally, he types, I am enjoying them. I just have a hard time with food sometimes. It’s hard for me to let myself enjoy things.

He has to close his eyes again to send it. George would be so proud of him. Even though he feels like he might need to be peeled off the pavement.

His phone buzzes. Well, mister, lucky for you, I’m happy to help with that!

Again. If you want me to, I mean! I don’t want to invite myself along on your self-love journey!

And again. Ugh. What I’m trying to say is that if you’re not a pumpkin man, I’ve got plenty more up my sleeve! If that would be ok with you, that is.

In spite of himself, Jack smiles. 

I actually prefer apple.

[the-moon-devi]

🍨What flavor Cookie are you based on the BAKER ASTEROID? PT.1 🍡

🧁🧁BAKER ASTEROID◇◇ 《2549》🧁🧁

🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰

DESCRIPTION: The baker asteroid is said to be the bakers asteroid for things like cookies and baked goods and even bakers. However in this post I'll be focusing more so on cookies.

○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○

Baker in aries/1st house: a very fast baker, your baked food could taste hot/spicy or maybe very health yall are the type to bake ginger spiced cookies or something like that if that exists. Maybe even Nutritional baked foods. If in the 1st house this could actually be what your known for!

Cookie: spicy Chai molasses cookies / Gingerbread

https://pin.it/6K3b4Pd: gingerbread

Baker in Taurus/ 2nd house: your baking is very good and warming to the senses. I feel like people really feel comfort and secure with your baking. This placement wouldn't be the type to try anything too risky when it comes to baking. Baker in the 2nd could make you spend alot of money on baked goods/ maybe even earn $ through baking. Yall baking could be very beautiful and pleasing to the eyes as well. Yall like sweet and soft but flavorful

Cookie: rich&gooey Butter pecan chocolate chip cookies/ oatmeal cream pies 《 ik ik it's not a cookie well kindaaaaaa🤔🤭》

Baker in Gemini/ 3rd house: I feel like if you have this placement you have potential to be a great baker I think there's a lot of versatility in your baking. If your not a baker then you could have siblings who can bake. You could talk about baking or teach people how to bake even create baking recipes and stuff like that maybe even a baking blog. (ESPECIALLY 3rd house people) I feel like yall might might be a little picky or you just like a lot of different flavors or you don't mind putting in something different in your baked foods.

Cookie: Neapolitan Cookie/ lemon crinkle cookies

Baker in Cancer/4th house: baker here yall goodddddd. Like mama's famous poundcake type good. Of course depending on the aspects. But yall like cooking for your kids/ loved ones. You guys definitely would be the type to either make recipes for future generations or follow recipes from your ancestral lineage. You could also come from a line of women who bake really well. Yall baking is sweet,soft,moist. ***"It's like a reward 😇🤤" *** do yall know that tik tok sound that's going around saying that? Anyways if this is aspect by your 10th house ruler or by planets in the 10th house/Mc you could easily be a professional baker. Once you become a mother your baking could get better or you might bake more (ik wierd I just channeled that, take it or leave it)

Cookie: chocolate chips ofc this is the original/ biscoff cookie butter cookies

Baker in Leo/5th house: possibility of being famous for your baking. Your baking could look very appealing to the eye or it just stands out. Baking could be a way of expressing yourself it could even be a hobby. I feel like yall baking taste very flavorful that's all I can say but I know it's good. You may have learned how to bake at a young age. Cooking could be a creative outlet. Your child could be a great baker.

Cookie: lemon cheesecake cookie

Baker in virgo/ 6th: virgoss yall the type to cookie healthy cookies or raw vegan cookies stuff like that. I feel like y'all would do diary free/ cleaner options when baking <<This could even go for Pisces>> this could be your occupation or your co-workers may know how to bake very well. Since Virgo is mercury ruled you could be very analytical about what you cook. Baking may be a stress reliever or apart of your daily routine. Definitely gluten free sugar free diary free perservative free placement for baking. Yall Could bake for the homeless or less fortunate.

Cookie: matcha sugar cookie/date cookies

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

𝓓𝓲𝓿𝓲𝓷𝓮 𝓓𝓮'𝓛𝓾𝔁𝔁𝓮 (masterlist)

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

©𝓟𝓻𝓮𝓽𝓽𝔂 𝓒𝓪𝓻𝓪𝓶𝓮𝓵

[thedailypalm]

                     𓇼  COMMUNITY BULLETIN !  𓇼 

see what’s happening around the town of palmview grove from 02/03 - 02/16 ! below the cut are local events that are not mandatory, but may be used for starter ( or reply ) inspiration. threads pertaining to these topics can happen at any time, not only on the day of the event !

 FEBRUARY 03 - FEBRUARY 09

FEBRUARY 03: adult poetry group @ lagoon library ! come share and discuss poetry with other like-minded adults. share your favorites and your own work, and discuss ways and forms of poetry !

FEBRUARY 04: national stuffed mushrooms day @ pearl’s seafood bistro ! enjoy limited edition lobster or shrimp stuffed mushrooms, half off from 3-5 pm !

FEBRUARY 05: national chocolate fondue day @ mango bay restaurant ! bring a loved one and dip your hearts away at our fondue night. with dipping options like strawberries, pineapples, marshmallows, and mini cookies, this is a night you won’t want to miss !

FEBRUARY 06: grand opening @ giselle’s ! viviénne maiziére is welcoming you all to visit her brand new restaurant !

FEBRUARY 07: national rose day @ fleurist ! come celebrate the flower that speaks a thousand words with us. singles, dozens, and bouquets available.

FEBRUARY 08: global movie day @ tidepool drive in ! come catch your favorite films, we’ll be playing double features all day long ! each ticket for a double feature will receive a complementary global movie day sticker !

FEBRUARY 09: national pizza day @ oceanview pizzeria ! stop by for a slice or more and celebrate italy’s best creation ! whole pies half off from 5-7 pm, kids eat free !

FEBRUARY 10 - FEBRUARY 16

FEBRUARY 10: national cream cheese brownie day @ sunshine bakery ! indulge your sweet tooth and try one of our cream cheese brownie flavors today ! traditional, strawberry, and neapolitan available. sold in half or full dozens !

FEBRUARY 11: valentine’s candy class @ heights community center ! delight your valentines with homemade sweets in this fun class ! participants will take home their delicious creations along with a folder of complete recipes and instructions. join us for a fun, sweet celebration of love !

FEBRUARY 12: puzzle night @ the book nook ! come join us in working some crosswords, word searches, and sudoku ! light refreshments will be served.

FEBRUARY 13: world radio day @ mango bay record store ! swing by the record store to celebrate music’s innovations, maybe you’ll meet a new friend or find a new favorite record along the way !

FEBRUARY 14: matchmaking fundraiser @ heights community center ! welcome someone new in your life by going on a blind date to help support our town’s community center !

FEBRUARY 15: cardio dance class @ heights community center ! come get your boogie on !

FEBRUARY 16: open mic @ lagoon library ! are you a musician, comedian, actor or other type of creative ? share your artistry and check out the art of others !

[queersrus]

ice cream theme

[ice cream theme]

for @seraphim-coinz 's event, prompt one !

partnered with our other blogs @dollilian, @objectumluv, @systiveboxes, @skelatomy

(nick) names:

aisukurīmu, aiseukeulim, aaisakreem, aiskrimu, ahikirīmi butter, ben, baskin, butterscotch, buaza cookie, cream/creame, creme, chocolate, custard, cone

daz, drum, drumstick, dessert, dondurma, flødeis eiscreme, eskrim, eis, eistute float, frappe, fudge, freezie, fagylalt

gelato, gelado, glace, glacee, glas haagan, helado ice, iskrem

jerry, jeni kulfi, klondike, krim, kem lody

mint, maple, morozhenoye, morozyvo, mochi neo, neapolitan pecan, pop, pagotó, paleta

robin/robbin, rjómaís sorbet, soft, serve, snow, strawberry, sundae, sandwich, sorvete, sorbete, speiseeis talenti

vanilla waffle yogurt

1st p prns: i/me/my/mine/myself

cri/creme/creamy/creamine/creamself di/desse/desserty/dessertine/dessertself fri/froze/freezy/frozine/freezieself gi/gele/gelaty/gelatine/gelatoself i/ice/icy/icine/iceself mi/minte/minty/mintine/mintself ni/neapole/neapoly/neapolitine/neapolitanself pi/popse/popsicly/popsicline/popsicleself si/sorbe/sorby/sorbetine/sorbetself si/sunde/sundy/sundaeine/sundaeself vi/vane/vanilly/vanilline/vanillaself

2nd p prns: you/your/yours/yourself

cro/creamer/creamers/creamerself do/desser/dessertrs/dessertrself fro/freezer/freezers/freezerself go/gelator/gelators/gelatorself io/icer/icers/icerself mo/minter/minters/minterself no/neapoliter/neapoliters/neapoliterself po/popser/popsiclers/popsiclerseld so/sorber/sorbeter/sorberself so/sundaer/sundaers/sundaerself vo/vaniller/vanillers/vanillerself

3rd p prns: they/them/theirs/themself

cre/creme, cre/creame, cre/ame, crea/me, cream/creams de/ssert, des/sert, dess/dessert, dessert/desserts fre/freezie, freez/freezie, freez/ie, freezie/freezies, fro/zen, froz/en, fro/frozen, frozen/frozens, frozen/dessert gel/gelato, gel/ato, gelato/gelatos i/ce, ice/ices, ice/cream mi/mint, min/ty, mi/nt, mint/mints, mint/minty, mint/chocolate nea/politan, neapol/itan, neapo/litan, nea/neapolitan, nea/neapolitan, neapolitan/neapolitans po/popsicle, pop/sicle, popsicle/popsicles sor/bet, sor/sorbet, sorbet/sorbets, sun/dae, sundae/sundaes, sun/sundae van/illa, van/vanilla, va/nilla, vani/lla, vanilla/vanillas

titles:

the ice cream scooper, the ice cream queen/king/ruler, the iced dessert maker, the keeper of iced cream, the holder of ice cream secret flavours

*one who adores ice cream, one who rules the hills of ice cream, one who secures the sorbet

*one can be replaced by any prn

[formeryelpers]

Prince St. Pizza, 49 E Colorado Blvd, Pasadena, CA 91105

PSP Pizza is growing rapidly in the Los Angeles area, and the Pasadena shop is the newest. Specializing in New York style pizza, PSP is actually from NYC and the LA spots are owned by the original family. They say their Sicilian recipes have been in the family for generations. Sauces are made in-house. The sign says made in NYC.

You can get whole pizzas, pizza by the slice, salad, desserts, and beverages. The pizza styles include Sicilian squares and Neapolitan thin crust. There are veggie, and non-vegan options. Some of the pies are named after NYC streets. Very few pizzas have veggie toppings. They’re mostly different cheeses and different sauces. If you want a slice, there’s about a dozen kinds of choose from and they’ll heat the slice for you.

Spicy vodka ($6.25/square): The square was 4x4 inches. I liked it a lot. The sauce was made with prosciutto. The crust was thick and light with a crisp bottom (similar to focaccia). The sauce was very flavorful.

Oakey smokey ($6/slice): smoked mozzarella, basil, pecorino romano, OG sauce. The tomato sauce is on the sweeter side (they have other sauces if you don’t like OG sauce). Smoked mozzarella added interesting flavor. Crust was thin, chewy, and had puffy edges. Not bad but I didn’t like the sauce and the slice was pretty oily.

The interior was fine – looked like a slice house. Nothing too fancy. The pizza types have limited appeal to me (lack of veggies), but I would get the vodka pizza again.

4 out of 5 stars

By Lolia S.

[famouspeopleeatingpizza]

Discovering America's Best: The Top 10 Pizza Places in the USA

Pizza, a dish beloved across the globe, holds a special place in the hearts of Americans. From New York's thin crust to Chicago's deep dish, pizza in the United States is not just food; it's a cultural icon. After extensive research, sampling, and considering feedback from pizza aficionados, I present to you the definitive list of the top 10 pizza places in the United States.

1. Lombardi's Pizza - New York City, New York

Established in 1905, Lombardi's is recognized as the first pizzeria in the United States. Their coal-fired oven imparts a unique, smoky flavor to their pizzas, making it a must-visit for any pizza lover.

2. Pizzeria Bianco - Phoenix, Arizona

Chef Chris Bianco brings his culinary expertise to Pizzeria Bianco, where the wood-fired pizzas have gained a nationwide following. The Rosa, with red onion, rosemary, and Arizona pistachios, is a standout.

3. Pequod's Pizza - Chicago, Illinois

Chicago is synonymous with deep-dish pizza, and Pequod's caramelized crust sets their pizza apart. This local favorite is an essential stop for deep-dish enthusiasts.

4. Frank Pepe Pizzeria Napoletana - New Haven, Connecticut

Frank Pepe's, a New Haven institution since 1925, is famous for its coal-fired, thin-crust pizzas. The White Clam Pizza is an iconic choice.

5. Una Pizza Napoletana - San Francisco, California

Anthony Mangieri's Una Pizza Napoletana serves up Neapolitan pizzas with a Californian twist, cooked in a wood-fired oven for a perfect char.

6. Di Fara Pizza - Brooklyn, New York

Di Fara, a Brooklyn staple since 1964, is renowned for its handcrafted pies topped with imported ingredients, crafted by the legendary Dom DeMarco.

7. Pizzana - Los Angeles, California

Pizzana blends traditional Italian techniques with local Californian flavors. Their slow-fermented dough and high-quality toppings make each pizza a gourmet experience.

8. Antico Pizza Napoletana - Atlanta, Georgia

Antico brings a taste of Naples to Atlanta. Their authentic Neapolitan pizzas, baked in wood-burning ovens, are known for their flavorful and airy crust.

9. Sally's Apizza - New Haven, Connecticut

Another New Haven gem, Sally's Apizza has been serving up coal-fired, thin-crust pizzas since 1938. Their tomato sauce and perfectly charred crust are legendary.

10. Lou Malnati's Pizzeria - Chicago, Illinois

Lou Malnati's is synonymous with Chicago-style deep dish. Their buttery crust, Wisconsin cheese, and sweet tomato sauce make for an unforgettable pizza.

[wolfliving]

Assisting the Open Home

https://building.open-home.io/assisting-the-open-home/

Assisting the Open Home

BY PAULUS SCHOUTSEN – 24 FEB 2023 – VIEW ONLINE → It's the end of February, time for another roundup of the latest and greatest things for your smart home that improve its privacy, choice and durability.

This month felt like a catch-up month. A lot of projects like Matter, performance tuning and Voice are ongoing. Some things can already be experienced but the best is still ahead of us.

Year of the Voice - Chapter 1

2023 is the Year of the Voice for Home Assistant and it kicked it off last month with Chapter 1: Assist. It's been a great start and community contributions have been out of this world: 22 contributed languages at launch!

Home Assistant's Year of the Voice has as goal to allow people to control their home in their own language. With Chapter 1 the team wanted to create a foundation that was already somewhat usable. This will allow the community to start playing with it, extending it and discover new use cases.

The team focused on "Assist", a Home Assistant feature to process natural language. For voice input it relies on Android watches, Apple watches and Siri. The natural language processing is, as one expects from the Open Home, extendable with your own sentences.

Read the full Chapter 1 announcement here.

Natural language doesn't have to be limited to just voice. Paul came up with a blueprint that allows you to create calendar events with automations based in natural language.

Import Blueprint Screenshot of a calendar with automations Put your automations in your calendar Zigbee interference caused by USB 3.0

A lot of users build their smart home around a Raspberry Pi. It's quite popular to expand the storage using an external hard drive connected to the Raspberry Pi via USB 3. What most users don't know is that USB 3 causes enormous interference with any Zigbee device or stick that comes close, to a point that it no longer works.

Gabriela recently joined the Nabu Casa team as a technical documentation writer and has been focusing on documentation to help users avoid common pitfalls like these. She updated the documentation for the Home Assistant SkyConnect including this 30 second video that shows how bad the issue is:

Want to help fund development of the Open Home? Join Home Assistant Cloud by Nabu Casa. It funds the Open Home and supports the development of Home Assistant, ESPHome, Z-Wave JS and much more.

mnCast: open alternative to Chromecast Audio

Last year we teamed up with Raspiaudio, a DIY audio company, and did a whole event about audio for the Open Home. Their ESP32-based products run Squeezelite-ESP32, an open source firmware that supports playing audio via AirPlay, Spotify Connect and Bluetooth (and fully supported by Home Assistant!).

Overview of the mnCast They just introduced a new product that is worth mentioning: mnCast. Instead of containing a speaker itself, it contains an 3.5mm audio jack and mini-TOSLINK connector. This allows you to turn your existing receiver into the backbone of audio for your open home.

MnCast on Amazon (affiliate link)

Community highlights

ESP32 E-Paper Weather Display Luke created a beautiful e-paper weather display with source code and instructions available on their GitHub.

Blueprint: Notify when Zigbee/Zwave/any battery device has gone offline Explanation This blueprint will alert you when any of your Zigbee or Zwave battery powered devices have fallen off the network, aka gone “Unavailable”. It is not necessary to specify a list of devices to check, as this template draws heavily from the excellent work of Sbyx, who came up with the id…

Home Assistant Community •Tahutipai

Neapolitan pizza dough calculator for Home Assistant Ever wanted to make pizza and needed to calculate the exact recipe? Look no further than this pizza dough calculator for Home Assistant by smeen89.

Indoor garden status monitoring Sam wanted to keep an eye on their indoor garden and got the job done with ESPHome and an M5StickC-Plus. Configuration available on their GitHub.

Guy Sie' Home Assistant setup (2023 edition) If you're looking for inspiration or just want to look at pretty pictures, check out Guy's overview of his Home Assistant setup.

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MyCroft stops development. Company reduced to 4 people and plans to reduce further. The mission was great but the venture, sadly, was not. Home Assistant shows what parts of Matter already work. Bridge support and major performance improvements are coming for their March release. Tasmota has started on Matter support. It's not usable yet, but the first piece has been merged. Tip! Join the community on our Forums, Twitter, Chat, and Blog Facebook

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[bignicksbakespizzeria]

Austin Pizza: A Flavorful Journey Through the City’s Best Pies

Austin pizza lovers are spoiled for choice with a diverse range of options that cater to every palate. From authentic Neapolitan-style pizzas to bold, Texas-inspired creations, Austin’s pizza scene is as unique as the city itself. Savor hand-tossed crusts, farm-fresh toppings, and creative flavor combinations at cozy pizzerias, bustling food trucks, and trendy eateries. Whether you’re craving a classic Margherita, a spicy BBQ chicken pizza, or a vegan-friendly pie, there’s something for everyone. With its vibrant atmosphere and dedication to quality, Austin is the perfect place to embark on a delicious pizza adventure. Explore the city and find your new favorite slice!

[meloinaw]

Just Check Out Key Details About Pizza Restaurant Sydney

Best pizza Sydney restaurants are more than simply dining options; they're an integral part of Sydney's culinary landscape. Offering everything from Naples-approved AVPN pies to New York-style slices, the city's premier pizzerias provide an incredible fusion of flavours and techniques that is truly delectable.

At Sydney's highly competitive pizza game, some establishments are going the extra mile to deliver outstanding crusts and toppings. Below you will discover some of Sydney's notable pizzerias:

Matteo Koludrovic of The Apprentice fame has created a restaurant known as The Sussex Store as an ultimate showcase for artisanal pie in contemporary settings. His dedication to crafting delicious pie is clear in each bite: his dough recipe has been developed using three flours combined with Biga preferment, creating crispier crust and refined mouthfeel - the ideal foundation for pizzas like those featuring pumpkin, pine nuts and sun-dried tomato or pork sausage with mushrooms and smoked provola cheese.

At other pizza restaurant sydney, fusion and avant-garde cooking techniques may cause discomfort; The Apprentice remains unshaken in its commitment to classic pizza. Their delicious pies feature ingredients of only the highest quality; although other dishes are offered, pizza remains their main draw for loyal patrons. From margherita-style pizzas to capricciosa options - The Apprentice offers deliciously indulgent pies worth traveling across town just to experience them!

At this small Mount Druitt pizzeria, the dedication to authentic Neapolitan pizza runs deep within its family-run operation. Luke Powell of LP's Quality Meats and Joseph Valore and Elvis Abrahanowicz had long dreamt of opening their own pizzeria; following a trip to America they opened Bella Brutta. With matte white cladding and forest green panelling adorning this cozy eatery serving wood-fired pizzas as well as select antipasto treats to their Cronulla patrons; those that stick closely will delight at trying traditional favourites such as their classic Margherita or Amalfi Way seafood pie!

Camden Cafe features delicious pies crafted with top-of-the-line Australian-sourced ingredients, making their menu not entirely authentic but still delightfully eclectic. There's a Neapolitan style pizza sydney Australia featuring blistered crust and delicious mozzarella; and also an irresistibly tasty vegetarian pie filled with mushroom puree, roasted zucchini, thyme and ricotta for something truly indulgent!

At Aperitivo Pizzeria in Little Italy, Aperitivo stands out as an impressive pizzeria. Accredited by the Associazione Verace Pizza Napoletana, their pies are flawless - offering everything from delicious salami-topped pies with hot peppers and olives, to their award-winning nduja-filled calzones that should definitely not be ignored! Get to know best pizza sydney city better by clicking here or visiting our official site.

Glorietta Pizza Restaurant in Double Bay has joined Sydney's roster of exciting new pizza establishments over the past year, making waves with its perfectly executed pies. Situated where Limoncello once was, this pizza eatery has quickly established a solid presence among residents with delicious offerings like the Smoky Bacon and Onion Deluxe Pizza; Funghi and Truffle Pizza and Salty Anchovies Olives and Capers Pizza being among many. Glorietta offers more than just pizza; their expansive Italian antipasti and pasta menu is sure to satisfy. Glorietta makes an ideal venue for social drinks or date nights alike, boasting an impressive drinks list as well as a relaxed environment - it could become one of Sydney's best-loved pizzerias soon enough!

[perbanem]

Importance Of Best Pizza Sydney City

Pizza is more than a cheap food for drunk teenagers; it is also an infinitely flexible cuisine with infinite potential. Proof of this lies in the proliferation of new Sydney pizza restaurants where chefs bring an ever-increasing level of innovation to this time-honored dish. We have selected our picks of best pizza Sydney joints that cater to both traditionalists and daring diners.

Sydney's pizza-makers are pushing the envelope, whether with flavorful fermented bases or creative toppings. Here are the best places for a slice in Sydney. From the team behind LP's Quality Meats comes this tiny Inner West pizza joint proving less is more. Their malleable dough allows them to offer generous servings of pepperoni from an artisan butcher and other delicious toppings from around Australia and New Zealand.

Da Mario Pizza Bar stands out with a classic pizza experience in their former Limoncello digs, thanks to a wood-fired oven. Their light, fluffy bases are deliciously eatable - the cheese and honey pie being an exceptional example). Their simple but quality topping options include classic margherita as well as hot salami, mozzarella, black olives & hot salami Calabrese pizzas; additionally they have delicious calzone options including the popular "cotto e funghi" with salami & Ricotta combinations.

Pizza sydney Australia offers plenty of pizza choices, and this spot stands out as one of the best spots in Australia to experience them all. Their dough, created using Biga preferment flour and three different types of wheat, is soft and supple, unlike some 'Neopolitan' pizzas, not too thick; while their toppings feature mushrooms, caramelised eggplant slices, and an abundance of fior di latte which have proven particularly popular.

From the team behind LP's Quality Meats and Porteno comes this King Street favorite, where their pizzas fall somewhere between New York and Roman styles - blistered and chewy like Neapolitan but crisp enough to fold and devour with your hands, like Roman. There's lots to love at Pizza King Street from classic smoked ham and mozzarella to innovative white clam pies (complete with fermented chilli) to more experimental mushroom and pork sausage pizza with zucchini puree, prawns, ricotta cheese and pistachios .

Pizza has once more become an established part of Sydney dining culture. Thanks to its inexpensive core ingredients of flour, yeast and water, pizza offers economical advantages when times become more costly while creating the opportunity for culinary expression. Over the last year alone it has experienced significant momentum as credentialled chefs and restaurateurs overcome their earlier dislike for this humble favourite and begin welcoming it with open arms.

Surry Hills F&B's "golden triangle" of Surry Hills F&B welcomes a newcomer: this pizza restaurant sydney . Proponents of artisanal wood-fired pizza have taken notice: not only do their bases boast superlight and sag-proof bases made with local milled Italian wheat from Wisconsin as used by their American counterparts; their mozzarella also hails from Wisconsin! Their range of pizzas from traditional margherita to double smoked ham and artichokes with figs all feature delicious toppings but Norma stands out - elevated by caramelised eggplant islands and salted ricotta islands for ultimate enjoyment. For comprehensive details on best pizza sydney city , click here or visit our website.