#nct dream romance
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THE DREAM ESCAPE Masterlist.
The Dreamer (P) 'a plot for those who seek to find…a way to leave their world behind. '
"One choice can transform you. What Makes You Different, Makes You Dangerous."
Synopsis. Sets of ruling oneshot longshots taken from each members perspective and observed through the lenses of the reader as Y/n.
Genre. Angst. Dark romance. Mind programming.
Dream()scape. Jeno is deposited in a community of boys after his memory is erased. He finds himself not only drawn but also attracted to you and he doesn't know why. Soon learning they are all trapped in a maze that nobody wants to escape- he joins forces with you in order to escape. Read here
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The smoothies. You find yourself immersed in an all type killing game, whereby your every move starts to become manipulated by your will to live. Within the game you're most cautious of who to trust. It doesn't help that this may be your last time to live and... to fall in love . Read here
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Box. The community you live in is a perfect dystopia with citizens not given any freedom or choice. Without choice, the Neorists Elders of society believe they can prevent negative elements, such as war. You're assigned to the Dreamer Na Jaemin with the aim of being the next Dreamer. However when presented with freedom, choices and a world of wonder, you begin to fall into the unknown of a word known as 'love'. Read here
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Carat cake. Broken, damaged and scarred from all his 'lies', Renjun comes to seek help at a therapy session with you. The session leaves you puzzled and confused as you begin to think of Renjun's lies are actually truths. Are you his 'lost' 'forgetten' lover? Your relationship with Jeno gets rocky the more you think of Renjun. Read here.
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icantfeelanything. Your whole world comes to an end when your knocked over by a car and are proclaimed dead. Yet you wake up in a different space, your boyfriend, Donghyuck’s mind. You are met with a furious ‘Memory Keeper’ Mr Zhong who tries to force you out. You’re reluctant to leave simply because he wants Donghyuck to move on from losing you. However, that is something you refuse to do as long as you're in his mind. Read here
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Breathing.In a futuristic world where humans and robots co-exist together, Mark, a humanoid robot, develops an unexpected emotional connection with you, as you’re caught in a tangled web of secrets. He experiences the complexities of love and loss for the first time. Your complicated journey forces you to question what it truly means to live and breathe in a world of blurred love lines between you and machine Read here
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Unknown. An elite unit of fierce police officers and the states most successful bank robbery crew clash– as the outlaws plan a seemingly impossible heist on a national reserved bank; neo technology cultured bank. The only problem is that Jisung works at the bank and has taken a liking to you. But your boyfriend is the leader of that successful robbery crew. Read here
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STATUS BAR: 6/7 (Hone more to go)
Not the album being an unbothered absolute piece of pleasure 💅🏼
I can't lie, the whole Taeil thing threw me off guard and I couldn't be a dedicated writer anymore. I took a long hiatus, but I'm back and I wanna finish this dreamscape masterlist.
Stories inspired by: Maze Runner, The Giver, Battle Royal, The Mask, Baby, Ex-Machina
#nct dream dream escape#nct dream#nct dream masterlist#masterlist nct dream#nct dream haed hours#nct dream imagine#haechan x reader#donghyuck x reader#nct mark x Reader#jeno x Reader#Jaemin x reader#chenele x reader#Jisung x reader#kpop alternative universe#dream ()scape#nct dream angst#nct dream romance#nct dream smut
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I love it so much!
Fish Out of Water
A Chenle fic that’s part of our Halloween Series!
Summary: You work at Neo City Aquarium. One night, you meet a peculiar but pretty boy named Chenle who claims to know you.
Pairing: Merman! Chenle x female reader
Genre: romance, fluff, angst
Warning: none
Word Count: 5.5k
(A/N: hiya! This is a little late and not proofread so I apologize 😭 I hope you enjoy! Thank you so much for all of the support for our stories!)
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[June 2020]
Your family was well known for their rehabilitation and release program at Neo City Aquarium. Your grandparents founded the aquarium and formed ties with wildlife rehabilitation centers in your hometown to expand their work into rescuing local marine life.
Following your high school graduation and having just turned eighteen, you were finally allowed to participate in dolphin rehabilitation. At the beginning of the summer, you joined your parents on a rescue mission to save a dolphin that’d been stabbed in a failed hunt for its meat.
You were tasked with nursing the dolphin’s wounds with the team of veterinarians and veterinary assistants. Socializing with wildlife animals wasn’t encouraged but you found yourself attached to the dolphin. You got to swim him when the rehab staff wanted to check his energy levels and confirm he was near his re-release into the ocean. You named him Happy for his smile and he was affection towards you whenever you fed him fish. Naming him Happy was a secret you shared only with him.
“Are you excited for your first dolphin release?” Hendery asked.
Joining Hendery, you entered into the dolphin pen at the beach, where Happy and three more dolphins were waiting to be released. Hendery was a college student who was interning with the rehab team.
You nodded. “Yes.” You were about to cry.
Hendery’s smiled faded. “What’s wrong?”
Keep reading
#chenle#nct chenle#nct dream chenle#chenle boyfriend#chenle scenarios#chenle scenario#chenle imagine#chenle imagines#chenle oneshot#chenle blurb#nct boyfriend#nct dream boyfriend#nct fantasy#nct sci fi#nct scifi#nct romance#nct fluff#chenle fluff#chenle romance#chenle x reader#nct x reader#nct dream x reader#zhong chenle#chenle moodboard#kpop moodboard#kpop boyfrined#kpop scenario#chenle reaction#chenle reactions#nct dream romance
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⊹₊ ⋆ᯓ★ street racer mark lee
❤︎ ໋𓈒 street racer!mark x afab!reader; you can ride me...or you can ride with me.
ʚ warnings: not proof read, ngl i'm pretty lazy with the smut here...so bare with me cause i was losing the creative juice for it 💀, some boob loving, oral/fingering (f), p in v, unprotected sex (pls...use a condom), mark is drunk on pussy 🤷🏽, creampie x2, possessive mark, dub con, backseat sex, johnny being an asshole of not respecting your space, screaming match between mark and reader, and lots of curse words being thrown around one another. won't lie the second smut scene might make some of my readers uncomfortable due to the content it has and how mark just handles the situation, so i will be putting a little warning sign between the dialogue so if you wish to skip it you can, i don't think you need to have full context of what happens as i feel like the dialogue that comes after explains itself.
ʚ to hear that songs that lowkey had some inspiration to this fic, here is the link to the spotify playlist i made; click here for street racer! mark playlist!
ʚ author’s note: yes this is me adding more about street racer mark from my first ever post here…but with a bit more fun >:) enjoy! originally, i did want to get this out before mark’s b-day, but my bf was in town from school and we’ll all writing plans went out the window and i had to take advantage of my time with him 😩🫶🏼 other than that note, i have been writing here and there for this post as much as i could or really come up with on the spot cause my brain is in a little :P mood for a while now so… ✨motivation is fast and furious ✨
ʚ word count: 7.4k words
❤︎ ໋𓈒 if you haven't read the past parts to this series, here is the series m.list!
street racer!mark who loves the adrenaline rush he gets every time he races.
street racer! mark who is honestly pretty cold and straight forward with people but is a honestly a golden retriever with his tight circle. (He’s a Doberman basically)
street racer! mark from the first moment he saw you, he knew you were his.
street racer! mark who was ready to bash his opponents head into his steering wheel for even looking at you the way he did when you were set up as their flag girl (though he knew he couldn’t but that wouldn’t stop him)
street racer! mark who honestly catches johnny off guard when he acts all sweet and nice to you after you helped start the race he just finished (and won)
street racer! mark who realized he lowkey made a fool of himself when he asked you to be his sugar mama, but couldn’t help but feel his soul sore when he heard you laugh at his rambling
street racer! mark who knew the moment that you agreed to hanging out with him after his two races, you were meant to be his
street racer! mark who honestly cornered your friend into a corner and convinced her to give him your number after not seeing you for a month (he’s quite convincing without doing much)
street racer! mark who feels like a hormonal teenage boy feeling extremely nervous when texting you due to the fact that he wasn’t sure how your relationship with him stood
street racer! mark who the moments he sends the first text he throws his phone onto his bed before shoving his face between his hands because he knows that you have him whipped after one interaction
street racer! mark who jumps at the sound of his phone signaling that he had a new text message, and with a racing heart, grabs his phone and instantly felt his face heat up in ecstasy and a small laugh of embarrassment for not explaining that it was him in the first place when you asked who was texting you
street racer! mark who invites you out to the races tonight, shooting a blank bullet knowing it was hit or miss if you came out tonight or not; but to his delight you ended up saying yes causing him to jump up and let out a “HELL YEAH!” in the process while gaining a weird look from haechan as he walked passed his door
street racer! mark who watches your interaction with johnny from afar, his jaw set as he tries not to storm over. but the moment he sees johnny reach towards your hair and pull it out of the make-shift low bun you had something within him set ablaze and he started to make his way towards you.
“y/n! there you are!” he called out as he was close enough to be in your ear shot. “mark, hey!” you said as you turned and looked at him with a wide smile. “so I was thinking, do you possibly want to get in the car with me for my next race?” he asked you as he looked at you with a look that he knew you couldn’t refuse his offer. you have a look of hesitance. “i mean is that allowed? like dude, I’m not trying to break any rules that says I’m not supposed to do this so like—“ you rambled as you looked between mark and johnny for reassurance (it bothered him you looked at johnny with that look on your face and not just him…) “nah bro, you good. besides it’s sort of really freaking rare if someone sat in the passenger seat with the driver unless that person is on their team.” he made sure to reassure you as he placed his arm around your shoulders and bringing you to his side. you looked up at mark and gave him a wide smile of excitement, that to him, makes your eyes sparkle with said emotion. “then, yeah I’ll go ride with you.”
street racer! mark who can’t stop laughing at the way you scream his name out as he speeds down the roads. several squeals leave your lips as you also laughed out as he could tell was your adrenaline causing you to react in that way.
street racer! mark who can’t help but feel the pride swell in his chest as you cheer him on for winning the race.
street racer! mark who can’t help but hold in his laugh knowing that he caught you off guard with his slight flirt comment.
“all thanks to you.” “dude, you’re flirting.” you said as mark watched your jaw drop slightly in shock. with the small silence that falls between the two of you, makes you both laugh out over the moment.
street racer! mark who doesn’t think twice about leaning in (nor did he care) as he watched you lean in as well with hooded eyes.
street racer!mark who was ready to end johnny’s life as he knew he purposely slammed the car’s hood and squeezed in between the two of you for conversation.
street racer! mark who was trying his best to keep his cool in front of you as he continued the conversation.
“you should’ve heard how she was screaming at the top of her lungs.” mark said as he laughs about your reaction. “yeah i bet she was pretty loud.” johnny said with a cocky smirk while looking down at you.
street racer! mark who was picturing 1,000 ways of his killing his so called friend after the comment he made, but of course that didn’t stop for either of their slip up in front of you as they glared at one another with a knowing look.
street racer! mark who despite the fact he said goodbye to you with glee, he turned around back towards johnny, who he too was turning towards mark, losing the smile on his face as an intense silence falls before them.
"what are you getting at Suh?" mark said getting straight to the point. "don't know what you mean, Lee." johnny said with a smirk as the situation wasn't obvious. "you know i'm going after her." mark said as he felt his anger starting to take over him. johnny scoffs. "it's not like you laid a claim on her just yet mark. she's free game."
street racer! mark who knew with the way johnny smiled at him meant nothing good, and knew that if he wanted you to be his and only his, he had to find ways (and he always found a way)
street racer! mark who coincidentally bumped into you on college campus and somehow convinced you to hang out with him outside of the car meet (anything to get the upper hand)
street racer! mark who couldn't stop staring at you when he took you to a diner that is a couple miles out of town; you were scared of course, but mark reassured you that everything was going to be okay with him beside you (and dude has a gun with him so really yall are fine-)
street racer! mark who somehow convinced you to go with him to a tattoo/piercing shop with him.
"you're getting your eyebrow pierced?" you asked with an intrigued tone lacing around your question. "yeah, i mean, why not? been wanting to get one honestly." mark said as he gave you a quick glance as he continued to drive down the road towards the shop. "i think you'll look good with it." you said softly as you felt yourself blush at the thought of mark having an eyebrow piercing. suddenly, the thought was more than just innocent thought. mark is a very good looking man, you couldn't deny it as you felt yourself attracted, but for some reason the thought of mark having an eyebrow piercing....it makes you squeeze your thighs together. you tried to be discreet about it, as said man you're fantasizing about it right next to you.
street racer! mark who doesn't miss the way you clench your thighs together as you continue savoring the thought of mark having an eyebrow piercing. his free hand runs along the bottom of his bottom lip as a smirk stretches on his face at the thought of you getting turned on. the hand on steering wheel tightens slightly at the thought of you in such a way for him to the point that his knuckles turn white, before he let's go of his grip to calm himself down as you both have arrived to the shop.
"ready?" you asked mark as you both walked towards the front door of said shop. "ready than never, baby." mark said lowly in such a sultry tone, that it visible made chills run down your spine and for a slight blush dust on your face and neck, as you tried to look away from him, but he could read your body language by now and it only made him chuckle to himself.
street racer! mark who sits down on the chair the body piercer has in their room as they prep everything for the procedure.
when mark look's toward you he swears you're more nervous for him that he is for himself. "you okay, baby?" he asked as he couldn't help but smirk at you, but still took hold of your hand in his in a gentle hold. "y-yeah, just...you know. it's a big needle." you mumbled as you look down to where his thumb was rubbing gentle circles on your knuckles to distract you from your own nerves. "i'll be okay, don't worry too much for me baby." mark said as he gave you a small squeeze of reassurance.
street racer! mark who couldn’t help but feel his ego swell due to the fact that you couldn’t stop looking at him with his new piercing.
“you okay baby?” mark asked as he gave you a quick glance in the car before looking back towards the road. “huh? oh— uh yeah, i’m fine!” you squeaked out embarrassed as you looked at your hands resting at your lap. your nails are looking really interesting right now. mark smirked at your reaction before he continued to drive to your dorm complex.
street racer! mark who makes sure that everyone knows that you are his. does not give a flying fuck honestly at how people react when you’re with him, he knows has to stop it and doesn’t care how he’s gotta get them to shut up. but of course, there is johnny…who doesn’t know what isn’t yours, you shouldn’t touch.
street racer! mark who is fed up with johnny’s bs of blatantly flirting with you in front of him. to which he takes measures into his own hand and asks you out on an official date with him tomorrow night.
“on—on a date?” you asked him as he saw the way your face and neck started to flush in a delicate red shade. “yes, thought i’d make it official.” mark said as he leaned in slightly and tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear. “i— yeah i would love to.” you mumbled softly to him as he let his hand linger softly on your cheek, causing you to flush deeper. “great i’ll pick you up, baby.” mark said as he placed a quick, tender kiss on your forehead. when mark stood straight, he looked behind you and saw the way johnny was sending him glares towards him, that mark couldn’t help but smirk at him before he took your hand and brought you to his car.
street racer! mark who goes all out for your first date with him. he was honestly a nervous wreck, but was pulling though seeing how brightly you were smiling at him, and just how your eyes caught the light just right...it made his heart go into overdrive at the sight before him.
street racer! mark who is such a gentleman throughout the whole date that you honestly can't help but make the first move on him when he dropped you off at your dorm room's door.
"i had a good night tonight." you said softly as you looked up towards mark with a small smile on your face and with a knowing blush resting on your face. "i'm glad you enjoyed it baby. anything for you." mark said as he looked down at you with a boyish smile playing on his face. something about the way mark looked in front of you had you in a daze. his black hair in a messy slicked back hairstyle with some strands of hair falling in his face. the classic leather black jacket he wore, this time with a white shirt underneath the jacket, black belt wrapped around blue jeans, as he wore black boots with his whole outfit. your mouth was honestly watering at the sight in front of you. "do you want to go on a da—" mark started but was cut off with the feeling of you taking hold of his shirt in your hand and pulling him down to your level. "—date?" "shut up and kiss me mark." you commanded softly as you eyed the way he licked his lips. without saying a word, mark leaned in and delivered one hell of a bruising kiss. nothing about the kiss was delicate like he was treating you all night. the kiss was straight passion that was breaking through the restraints that held around mark as all he's been wanting to do was devour you whole. there was some teeth clash, but neither of you cared as all you both wanted was to get closer to the other as you tried to fight for dominance in the kiss. you instantly gave up in trying to win for dominance when mark's tongue grazed along yours, causing you to whimper in the kiss as you felt yourself melting at the taste and feeling of him.
street racer! mark who was trying to be a complete and utter gentleman when it came to wanting to take things further with you, but didn't want to push things further if you weren't willing to push at the boundaries as well.
"baby." mark mumbled in the kiss before pulling himself apart, as much to both of yours protest. "i don't want to do anything you don't want to do." mark said as he felt your hands wrap themselves around his neck and find the length of his hair and pull at it, causing for a groan to escape his lips. mark felt himself twitch in his jeans as tugged again at his roots, causing him to bite his bottom lip and look down at you. "mark please...i need you" you muttered your plea as you looked up at him with such doe eyes and a small pout that mark knew that he was completely at your mercy.
street racer! mark who the moment you opened your door and walked inside, he had you pinned against the closed door.
"are you sure you want to do this?" mark said as he looked down at you where you were caged between his arms. "yes." you breathlessly moaned out as you arched your back where your chest grazed his, just to show him how willing you are. "fuck..." mark mumbled before he placed his had at the back of your neck and pulled you into another throb-inducing-kiss. clothes started to come off between the two of you as you walked towards your bed, where mark wanted everything to be comfortable, mostly for you. you were only left in your underwear as you laid so pretty under the dim lighting of your bedroom. mark swore under his breath as he watched the way your chest rises and falls in quick breathes. his eyes travel over the expense of your exposed skin. it didn't take long for mark to find himself between your thighs. he captured your lips into a gentle kiss, completely different from before. inviting as the kiss was, it quickly turned harsh and hot when you bit mark's bottom lip. mark led his kisses down your neck in open mouth kisses, leaving blossoming bruises on the juncture that was between your neck and shoulder. as mark's lips traveled down your sternum, you started to release more breathy moans as the ticklish sensations over your flushed skin. mark took hold of your plumped breasts into each of his hand and gave them a slight squeeze, earning a delicious moan from you. encouraged, he takes one of your hard nipples into his mouth and suck on them lightly while tracing the tip of his tongue over it. you started to mumble curses as mark began to stimulate your neglected nipple between his pointer finger and thumb. he pulled on the nipple as he simultaneously bit down softly and tug on the nipple in his mouth causing for you to arch your back off of your bed and moan out loudly. with a lewd pop, mark started to kiss down your navel leaving slight nips in his path. once he reached down your clothed cunt, he started to place small, quick pecks where your clit lays. seeing the way you reacted. without wanting to wait to devour you any longer, mark rips your underwear in half with a rasped promise; "i'll buy you a new one baby, don't worry." was the last you heard before a moan rips through you as he placed a hard press of his tongue between your wet folds. mark starts to eat you out in a rhythm-ed pace that his tongue and fingers followed as they went inside of you, curling the front of the digits against your gummy walls. as mark continued, he felt you clench around his fingers and tongue. with one last push and curl, he had you arching your back off of your bed with a loud moan as you came. mark helped you ride out your orgasm with slow thrusts of his fingers. as you came calmed down from the intensity of the orgasm, you failed to notice mark pulling down his pants freeing his hard, aching length from it's death trap. mark gave himself a few pumps before he leaned above you. he lined himself up to your gaping entrance, but wanted to distract you due to the fact he feels like he didn't stretch you out enough with his fingers.
mark placed his lips on yours in a searing kiss, that made you fully pull your focus into the kiss. as he continued to kiss you, mark pushed himself into your first ring of resistance. you whimpered at the sensation of the stretch, while mark moaned at how tight you felt around him. mark slowly pumped himself in and out, slowly, resting the waters a bit to see how you would react to his movements. as mark started to pick up his pace, you both completely lose yourselves to the sensation you were feeling. mark was completely weak in the knees as he felt the way your gummy walls milked him with each stroke. not realizing how lost he was in the feeling, mark speed up to such a delicious pace it had you rolling your eyes back and curling your toes. you could hear mark mumbling incoherent sentences, but you were able to catch some of the words that slipped out of his mouth; “so fucking tight.”; “she’s sucking me in so good— fuck.” ; “that’s it baby, take me just like that…”;“listen to her, she’s fucking talking to me.” with each sentence that you could catch beyond your moans and his grunts, caused you to clench around him uncontrollably, that only causes mark to keep losing the little resolve he had left. "baby, if you keep clenching me like that...i'm not going to last long." mark said as he felt himself just continuing his brutal pace that had him grazing against your cervix in such a delicious way, that you swore you would give this man whatever he wanted if it meant that he could keep making you feel the way you do right now. "mark, please...please i'm so close! i—" you choked out a moan as he started to go in such a much faster pace than he was before (that was surprising you in all honestly) that your legs were practically on his shoulders at this point for the way he kept leaning against you to kiss between the valley of your breasts, along the juncture of your neck and jaw. you could feel the long, burning tell-tale of your orgasm fast approaching, especially if mark kept up with the fast pace that his hips where sending against yours. making your entire body jump up against his thrusts. "fuck, baby you're so beautiful taking me the way you are and how you're looking at me." mark grunted out as he whipped a strand of hair that was clinging to your sweaty forehead. "so beautiful — shit — and all mine." mark said, and in that moment it was as if something officially snapped within his mind because if he was going fast now, he was going in faster (that you swore wasn't humanly possible but he was proving you wrong.) "say it." he said as his hand went down your navel, and pressed his thumb down hard onto your throbbing clit, causing you to arch your back at the sensation mixing in with his ruthless thrusts. "say it for me baby, please i need to hear it." mark moaned out, that sounded like an a whimper by the end. you knew then and there that he was close to his orgasm as much as you are as he wanted that one finally push and his hips started to stutter. "m-mark, i'm all yours!" you squealed out as mark started to rub his fingers in a messy side-to-side matter against your clit that without warning you came loud and hard. mark swore he was in heaven the moment he felt you clench his cock in such a vice grip that it was almost impossible to continue thrusting himself into you. but along with you, mark groaned as he let out his load inside of you (not really thinking of the consequences it could bring of course.) mark rode out his orgasm, while helping you through yours.
street racer! mark who watches you with such tender expression that it hurts his heart knowing how quickly you came into his world and took him off of the course he was on. (he's in love with you)
street racer! mark who slowly removes himself from inside of you with a groan, before quietly leaving your side to go to your bathroom to grab a soft towel to clean you up with.
you felt something gently graze over your sensitive entrance that caused you to let out a small whimper at the sensation. "hey...sorry i don't mean to hurt you baby. just trying to clean you up so we can go shower and sleep for the night." mark said gently as he lifted himself up and started to place sweet, gentle kisses on your face as he watched you slowly lift up your hooded eyelids that were heavy with sleep. "okay..." you said softly as you gave mark a small smile. you and mark looked at one another with such tenderness that you honestly felt like you were gonna go into some sort of cardiac arrest at the way your heart was beating out of it's normal pace. "hi." you said shyly as you didn't know what to say to him. mark chuckled as he saw the shy blush carry itself across your face and chest. "hi, baby." he said softly as he placed a kiss onto your forehead. "come on, lemme help you into the shower." he said as he placed his arms around your neck and the back of your knees.
street racer! mark who was absolutely incredible at aftercare that honestly made you want to cry due to the fact he paid such attention on your needs, that you just felt so loved.
street racer! mark who after your shower, gives you a shirt he found in your closet and brings you to bed. makes sure you drink your water, and that you get all the cuddles in as you both get some much needed sleep.
street racer! mark who hasn't seen you in a while due to you become busy with schoolwork as it became one of the busiest week of the school year.
street racer! mark who is excited when he steps out of his car in front of your school campus as he goes to the other side of his car to lean against it, to surprise you with a pick up ride from him, when the smile he had on his face falls as he sees you walking out with some guy at your side.
street racer! mark who can see the way you're smiling at him and tilted your head back in laughter, by the way your shoulders shook up and down, from what he said. whatever he could've said, couldn't be that funny.
street racer! mark who watches the way your eyes lit up at the exact moment that you looked forward again, that he couldn't help but feel reassured in himself when you left with a quick goodbye to the guy behind you and made a full sprint towards mark.
"mark!" you squealed out in happiness as you opened your arms open as you jumped into mark's waiting arms for you. mark spun the two of you around quickly as he held you in a tight hug that he wasn't quite ready to let go of you. "hey baby." he greeted you before he placed a kiss onto your lips. "what are you doing here?" you said as you looked up at him with such an infectious smile that he couldn't help the way his smile grew wider. "wanted to surprise you baby." he said as he tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear. "ooh! a surprise, are we going somewhere?" you asked as you bit your bottom lip in excitement. "you could say something like that." mark teased you as he opened your door for you.
street racer! mark who lowkey disassociates as he drives on your way to your shared dorm room. he couldn't help but think about what he saw when he picked you up. something possessive paced within his chest, that honestly was slightly unsettling to him but he couldn't help but let the feeling grow and manifest inside of him.
street racer! mark who takes a detour from the original route that he usually takes to your place. he tried not to pay attention to the look you gave him from his peripheral vision.
⚠️CAN SKIP SCENE IF YOU WISH⚠️
"mark? why are we going this way?" you questioned quietly as you looked around the trees that were starting to surround you and the car. you were met with silence as you looked at the far out expression on his face. the silence felt so loud for you as you waited for mark to react to your question. as you opened your mouth to say something, mark suddenly breaks his car in the middle of the off-the-beaten road. silence once again takes over the two of you, creating a suffocating atmosphere in the car. you were about to speak up, but mark beat you to it. "surprise." he said in a mono toned voice. you felt a shiver run up your spine at the way he spoke to you. you've never heard him use this tone to you nor around you. it felt like a completely different person beside you. "surprise?" you questioned, afraid to add more to your question not knowing how his response is. "this is the surprise i have for you baby." mark said in a tone that was too overly sweet and it was starting to make you feel uneasy. "mark..." "who was that guy baby?" mark asked you as he tilted his head to the side, trying to seem innocent and curious. you studied mark's expression as much as you can as you tried to find some slip up on his end. seeing that he was being consistent with the front he is having, you sighed. "he's in a class of mine." mark hummed out as he looked past your shoulder with a small nod. "a guy from your class..." he mumbled out, still having that far out look on his face. when mark looked back at you, the look in his eyes almost made you flinch if he didn't reach over to you grabbing the back of your neck and pulling you forward. "why were you all smiles with him? don't you know you're mine? i don't get it." mark said as he looked down briefly before looking back at you. "why were you smiling at him?" he asked as he pouted at you. you honestly felt like you were gonna get whiplash. "i was being polite?" you questioned yourself at this point cause you didn't know how to approach it. mark just stared at you as the grip on the back of your neck tightened slightly as he adjusted his fingers. he reaches over with his free hand and grabs hold of you face, squishing your cheeks together to create an embarrassing pout on your lips. "get in the back seat." mark said with a side gesture of his head. you looked towards the small section of mark's car that he called his backseat. you didn't know what to make head or tail of. one part of you wanted to go cry about this cause you weren't sure where to put your emotions in, but the other part of you...she couldn't help but feel turned on by the situation you were in with mark. the way he let his possessive side show in such a raw way, made something primal rise within you. seeing that you weren't moving fast enough for him, mark repeated his command. "get in the back seat, baby." with a small gulp of uncertainty and of anticipation, you started to head towards the backseat. once situated in the backseat, you couldn't help but feel the tension rise as you saw the way mark was looking at you. a predator looking at it's prey. mark looked at you with such a predatory look in his eyes, pupils completely darken over with lust, it made you shudder and clamp your thighs together. he soon hoped over to the back seat with you and without missing a beat, he took hold of your ankle and yanked you down the seat to where he was above of you. a gasp leaves your lips as you looked up towards mark with wide eyes. without saying anything to you, mark takes holds of your hips and turns you around; ass up and face down. “mark can we please talk properly!?” you cried out as you tried to push his hands away from your hips as they tried to hook around the waist band of your skirt. "shh s'okay baby, i'm going to make you forget completely about your classmate." "mark! please..." you moaned out as you started to feel him play with your sensitive nub. "we're talking baby." mark said as he preoccupied himself with taking his half harden length out of the confines of his jeans.
“this isn’t how it’s supposed to be mark!” you cried out as you felt him push your panties to the side and start to rub himself against your slightly glistening folds. "i'd say this talk to going the way it's supposed to baby." was all he said as he continued to rub himself against your folds to the point where it was fully hard and dying to get inside of you. "besides you want me just as much as i want you. can't you feel how wet you are for me baby?" mark questions as he starts to tease your entrance with his swollen tip. you were completely torn. you didn't know what to do considering mark was not going to have an actual conversation regarding the situation the two of you are in. he just wanted to fuck this whole argument out of your system to get it over with and it just isn't supposed to be like that...you know this. but why was he making you feel so good about it. mentally you knew this whole ordeal was wrong but...physically you wanted him. you wanted to cry as you felt such intense and confused emotions, you just didn't know what to place what to what anymore. you truly couldn't find your voice in this situation, and it frustrated you to no end that you felt tears starting to sting your eyes. "please mark..." you whimpered out as you felt yourself starting to dissociate. "fuck baby, anything for you." mark said as he started to insert his length inside of you. as mark fully inserted himself inside of you he let out a pleasured moan, while you let out a whimpered cry. nothing that was happening to you felt real. absolutely nothing. mark continued pleasuring himself and you were completely disconnected. you weren't even sure if you actually came or you just faked it so it could be all over with. all you knew is that mark came inside of you, pulled out and covered you once again with your panties. letting his come ooze out of you and fall onto your panties, creating an uncomfortable feeling. "you're so good for me baby." mark whispered into your ear as he pushed your hair behind your ear and placed a chaste kiss on your temple. tears fell from your eyes as utter disgust consumed your entire being.
street racer! mark who has been noticing things have been rocky between the two of you since he picked you up from your class two weeks ago. but still has high hopes for the two of you as he sees that you are still reaching out to him in the best way you can.
street racer! mark who brings you to the car meets after the two weeks of rocky tension, to which he is completely happy and his "normal self" around you while he goes and does his races. and completely misses the way johnny watches your every move so he can have a chance to talk to you.
you were standing off to the side of the crowd in your own world as you waited for mark to finish his set races today. you were in your own world for so long, that you didn't notice that johnny has approached you until he waves his hand in your face. "oh..." you said softly as you blinked your eyes before looking up at johnny with a awkward smile. "hi, johnny." "hey sweetheart, you alright? i'm seeing you all alone and wanted to see how you're doing?" johnny says as he looked at you with a concerned look on his face. "oh i'm fine. just a bit tired from school and all." you said softly trying to shrug johnny off of you. "and mark's got you out here late? he should've just let you rest at your apartment." johnny said as he frowned his eyebrows. "yeah he wanted me to stay home and get some rest but i wanted to come out and support him since i know he has quite of few races set out for him tonight." you lied through your teeth as you gave johnny a smile. "you know..." johnny trials off as he rubs his hand on his chin before his gaze turned up on you. "...if you were my girl this wouldn't be happening to you." "excuse me?" you questioned as you felt a scoff leaves your lips as you looked at him in disbelief of what he just said to you. "i could be a better boyfriend than mark can be to you sweetheart." he said a he went to go and graze his hand on your face. you gently swatted johnny's hand away from your face before it made contact. "mark's not my boyfriend johnny." "oh really? he never made it official. this whole time i thought he has for the way he acts around you." johnny says as he rolls his eyes at the mere thought that mark has been with you for two months and hasn't grown the balls to make it official with you yet. "well...i'm not rushing him for making it official, johnny." you said as you took a step so you could create a space between yourself and johnny. "why are you even waiting when he's clearly comfortable in the position you guys are in." johnny says as he takes a step towards you, closing the space between the two of you. you rolled your eyes at him as you took a step backwards still trying to keep a good distant between him. not liking the fact that you keep distancing yourself from him, johnny takes hold of your wrist. "i could be a better boyfriend than him, angel." he whispers into your ear. "let me go!"
street racer! mark who finishes the first half of his races and looks for you the moment he parked his car. as he looked for you amongst the crowd, finally landed his eyes onto your figure. but what he saw was making him see red.
street racer! mark who sees the way you and johnny are both cozy against the other, as johnny holds you close to his form. even though he fails to see the obvious discomfort on your face, mark comes up with 1 to 1 million ways that this is you moving on from him and he just couldn't have it that way what's so ever.
street racer! mark who races towards the two of you. pushes johnny off of you and taking hold of your wrist in his hand and dragging you behind him to his car. damn the rest of the races he had planned out for the rest of the night...he wanted to deal with you.
"mark! slow down!" you cried out behind him as you stumbled on your steps as he was moving too fast for you to catch up to him. you were met with silence from him as he continued to drag you behind him. the only response you got from him was the hold on your wrist tightening to the point where it started to pinch your skin in between his fingers. the sensation causes you to wince. mark slightly faltered at the sound of your pained grunt, but continued pushing through the crowd towards his car. one you both made it to his car, mark opened the passenger's door and pushed you inside before he slammed the door shut. this causes you to flinch at the sound and the sudden jerked motion the car had due to the force of the car door slamming shut in your face. you honestly didn't know what was going to happen to you right now. you've never seen mark this mad before. yes...there was the instance with your classmate but this...this was a different mark. this wasn't the mark that you got to know. mark got into his side of the car with slam of his car door as well. without saying anything to you, he starts the car and has the car moving faster before you could get something into the tense air between the two of you. "mark—" "why do you do this!?" mark yells out as he starts to speed down the dirt road that leads out of the car meet. "do what mark!? what did i do?" you cried out as you felt tears sting the corner of your eyes as you felt yourself get frustrated as you knew where this was going to go now. "why the fuck were you so close to johnny? of all fucking people, him! you know how he makes me feel!" mark yells out as he slams one hand on the steering wheel. "mark...johnny was trying his usual shit on me yes! i was trying to get out of the situation but he wasn't letting me!" you said as tears started to fall down your face. "i don't fucking believe you." mark said with a scoff and a roll of his eyes. you felt your heart sink at the declaration he made about you. "are—" you cut yourself off as you felt a laugh bubble in your throat, letting yourself know that you are starting to fall into some sort of shock. "—are you fucking serious right now mark lee? do you FUCKING HEAR YOURSELF!?" you screamed out as more tears started to fall down your face in pure blistering anger. "i wouldn't be surprised if you've thrown yourself at him. i've seen the way you look at that motherfucker." mark says as he presses down on the gas peddle causing the car to jerk faster down the road. you looked towards the car's speedometer and was met with '100 mph' in bold, bright lettering. "mark slow down." you said as you stared at the speedometer and towards the outside of your window to see the dark sky and trees in a complete blur of speed. "mark slow down!" you cried out again. "just SHUT UP!" mark screamed out as he looked towards you with such intense anger in his eyes that you swore this man hates you from the way he is just treating you. you opened your mouth to say something but the next thing that you remember hearing was the sound of shattering glass and a gasp leave your lips, before your world goes completely black.
street racer! mark who groggily wakes up to intense bright lighting in his eyes, and he thinks that he simply left the lights on of his room again, until he starts to hear the slow beeping sounds around him.
street racer! mark who fully opens his eyes and takes in his surrounding to see that he is laying in a hospital bed, and his right arm is in a cast and a sling. he starts to wonder what happened, but all he can remember was the argument in the car with you and then everything went blank from there.
street racer! mark who gasps finally realizing that you were in the accident too and started to feel himself panic seeing that you weren't near him nor in the same room as him.
"you're finally awake." mark heard a voice say at the foot of his bed. mark looked towards the standing figure of his bed and recognized your best friend. he noticed the blood shot and puffy eyes she adored and couldn't help but assume the worst. "is she...is she—" "she's fine and thankfully very much alive, no thanks to you." she snaps as she gave him a look of pure disgust. mark rolls his eyes at her tone, but continues the conversation as if she never even spoke. "i want to go see her." he said as he tried to sit up but winces due to the sharp pain at his side. "you have bruised ribs, so i would lay down if i were you." she muttered as she sent daggers towards mark. "besides, i'm not letting you seeing her." she said as she crossed her arms across her chest and raised an eyebrow towards him as if daring him to challenge her. "the fuck? i can see her if i want. you don't get a say in that!" mark said as he started to feel his anger get the best of him. "you are the reason she is in a hospital bed right now! you are the reason she has a fucking coma!" your best friend yelled out as she pointed an accusing finger towards him as she tried to hold back the tears that are stinging her eyes due to the pure anger she was feeling. "a c-coma?" mark said as he looked at her with wide eyes. "yeah, a coma. the doctors don't know when she will wake up...the chances are low."
street racer! mark who felt his entire self being shatter at the thought of you not remembering anything that has happened.
"a coma..." mark muttered to himself as he felt himself start to zone out due to the shock the news brought him.
ʚ a/n: to be completely honest with you, i wasn't really expecting to take it this way but i honestly like how it turned out because it adds a bit of drama to this fic and truly shows the persona i created for mark in this au. just wanted yall to go through what the reader goes through in seeing his true persona! lemme know your thoughts!!
⭑𓂃taglist: @hyuckshinee @yesohhsehun @sfsrm-blog @rockstarhaechan
#mark lee#nct mark lee#nct#nct 127#nct dream#nct imagines#nct 127 imagines#nct dream imagines#nct smut#nct 127 smut#nct dream smut#mark lee smut#nct mark lee smut#smut#kpop#kpop imagines#kpop smut#street racer#illegal street racer#mark lee x reader#mark lee x y/n#mark lee x you#mark lee x female reader#kpopidol#romance#comedy#mark lee street racer au#nct x reader#nct dream x reader#nct 127 x reader
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꒰ 𝐂𝐀𝐍 𝐈 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐘 𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑? 𝐖/ 𝐍𝐂𝐓 𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌 ꒱ 엔씨티 드림
summary : asking nct dream if you can stay over or vise versa
genre : fluff, nct dream x afab!reader, text au, smau tws : language, pet names author notes : idk being sick and on my period has been making me hazy so idk either lmaoo word count : n/a
#(˚ ༘ 🦕𖦹) soph’s fics ᡣ𐭩#kpop#kpop requests#kpop writing#kpop imagines#kpop oneshots#kpopidol#kpop bg#romance#nct dream fluff#nct ff#nct drabbles#nct jisung#nct fluff#nct fanfic#nct x reader#nct imagines#nct dream#nct scenarios#nct#nct chenle#nct mark#nct renjun#nct jeno#nct jaemin#nct haechan#nct dream fic#kpop fake texts
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chenle ♡ is the type of boyfriend to ... ⁺ (1)
chenle soft hours & headcanons. all are fictional.
pairing: zhong chenle x fem!reader
genre: romance, fluff
part 1 of "chenle is the type of boyfriend to..." series
author's notes: hey y'all........ felt 100% delusional so i decided to do this because all these dreamies soft hours headcanons are literally making me go crazy 😭😭 hope y'all enjoy, i JUST really love chenle (it's obvious)
chenle is the type of boyfriend to come over to your place every evening just to give you kisses, or food, or flowers so that you wouldn't feel alone and so that he'll remind you everyday that he loves you so much! he has every single time to cuddle with you and tell you sweet compliments to enlighten your mood whenever you're stressed.
"i love you so, so much, pretty." chenle says as he kisses your forehead, ruffling your hair softly while he holds you in his arms. he felt cozy wrapping his arms around you, watching you lie down on his chest as you listen to his sweet compliments. "i love the way you are, how pretty you are, how sweet you are, how kind you are... i'm so, so glad you're mine."
chenle is the type of boyfriend to surprise you with gifts at the best times and occasions, giving you gifts and bouquets that expressed his congratulations and how proud he is for you. he always wants and expects you to come home to his gifts after work, all displayed and decorated by him once you get inside.
"i tried my best decorating this for you... do you like it?" chenle smiles as he turns to the balloons on the living room and the flowers that he's holding, chuckling softly as you were still surprised with the way chenle did all this for you. "i know this whole decoration thingy doesn't look good enough, but it's enough to express how proud i am and how much i love you."
chenle is the type of boyfriend to drop everything, whether it's schedules or special occasions, just to attend your special occasions. he wants to be there for you in every single occasion, whether it's major or not, because he wants to witness you do your best, or he wants to be with you if you couldn't find a date for that certain occasion. he doesn't care if dropping schedules would cause consequences, but as long as it's you he's prioritizing, he'll go for it.
"you have an awarding ceremony tomorrow?" chenle asks as he looks at you, immediately thinking of canceling all his plans just to be with you. you nod, asking, "yeah, are you gonna come?" since you really didn't want chenle to miss this out. the moment you ask him, he immediately took his laptop to go and cancel every single plan he has for tomorrow. "i'm canceling all my plans, i'm coming."
chenle is the type of boyfriend to get a little bit jealous whenever he hears or spots you talk with another guy on the phone or right in front of him. just by looking at him while you're talking to someone else on the phone, you already know how jealous he is by the look in his eyes. he would usually deny the fact that he gets jealous everytime, but whenever you catch him, it seems like he can't deny it any longer.
chenle looks at you with a low, death glare, impatiently waiting for you to end the call. "when are you gonna end that?" he whispers, as you look at him and tell him to wait before you ended the call. "jealous?" you ask him with a chuckle, settling your phone on the side as you looked at him with a soft smile. you loved seeing chenle jealous, it's cute of him. "yeah, yeah, can't even deny that anymore... can we cuddle now, please? i'm too impatient, i want you badly."
©️ 200markies / jyanihaes, 2024
#zhong chenle#chenle fluff#chenle romance#zhong chenle fluff#zhong chenle romance#kpop fluff#nct dream fluff#chenle fic#chenle ff#nct fluff#chenle soft hours#nct soft hours#nct ff#nct fic#nct dream ff#nct dream fic#chenle scenarios#chenle x reader#nct x reader#nct dream x reader#nct dream scenarios#nct headcanons#nct dream headcanons#chenle headcanons#nct imagines#chenle nct#200markies#jyanihaes#nct dream#kpop scenarios
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✧・゚: *✧・゚:* *:・゚✧*:・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚:* *:・゚✧*:・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚:* *:・゚
texting your boyfriend! mark
an insight to a relationship with mark!
#nct dream#nct scenarios#nct fanfic#nct drabbles#mark lee#romance#nct texts#nct#nct fluff#nct fake texts#text post#text fic#nct mark#nct mark lee#nct x reader#nct x oc#nct x you#nct imagines#nct 127#nct moodboard#nct x y/n#nct x gender neutral reader#nct fic#nct social media au
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Strawberry Sorbet
pairing: mark x reader
genre: plug!mark, we have graduated from stoner!mark to plug!mark thanks to @markonthemoon, honestly a lot of fluff, smut, weed mentions and use
word count: 3,704
Pulling your jacket over your head, you ran to Mark’s car in your fluffy slides. You slid into the already-adjusted passenger seat to your liking and leaned in to hug him. “Greetings” you grabbed the back of his neck, letting your nails lightly graze his skin as you held him in embrace.
“You good?” He licks his lips, before taking a sip of his juice for his cotton mouth.
“Yeah, how you doing?” You both smile, instinctively. Every time you guys are together, all you can both do is smile. The shy glances exchanged, the extra effort in casual banter just to see each other laugh. You both are crushing on each other hard but neither of you want to admit it.
You met Mark a couple months ago, at a party, through a mutual friend. There was an instant connection when he joined into your discussion, abruptly. He challenged your opinion, which is something you’re not used to. “Ouch! If guys who make music are fuckboys then maybe women who are into musicians are haters!” His delivery was playful which made you want to bicker with him.
“Yo? Who invited this guy?!” You said pointing at him as everyone broke into laughter. You both introduced yourselves and continued the discussion for a while. Soon, you both settled outside, smoking a joint and he showed you the games on his phone. Ever since that night, you guys have been hanging out socially and you’ve been picking up from Mark. It has been so nice to find a plug in your social circle. It makes you less anxious not having to call random numbers and not knowing what to expect.
So tonight was no different when you got in his car to pick up some weed. As always, he had rolled you a little something in his special pink paper, with magenta hearts on it. “Let’s go smoke this and then I’ll drop you home, yeah?” He smiled, coyly before putting the car into gear and pulling out of your street.
Mark drove for a bit before parking near a canal and he passed you his lighter. “Would you be so kind and do the honours?” He teased and opened his hands in his lap. Motioning you to bring your feet to his lap so he can rub them. You lit the joint and took your first pull. “So, how was your day?” He asked and listened intently, as always. He leaned back in his seat, resting his head. The way the moon lit the outlines of his features, made him look angelic. His eyes were focused on you as his hands rubbed your feet. You told him about work and university drama and he contributed with facial expressions and giggling with you.
“Girl.” You’d say in one tone.
“Girl.” He’d say in another.
You both passed the joint between you both and talked about your day. The conversation flowed from, life to movies to music and then you both fell in a comfortable silence. Looking at the bright, silver moon reflecting on the water whilst Mark continued to rub your feet. His touch was innocent and gentle. You felt his gaze slowly shift from the water to you and your face felt hot. You wanted to turn your face and catch his big beautiful eyes but you felt so shy. Not knowing what your feelings for him meant, made your heart beat faster.
“Hey” He whispered, “look at me.” Sincerity in his voice left chills down your back.
“I’m really glad I met you. You’re my guy, my dude.” He said and you chuckled, turning your face to look at him.
“I’m really glad I met you too... dude.” You stuck out your pinky finger and Mark already knew the cue. He took your finger into his pinky and transitioned into a handshake. A month ago, Mark started giving you a little extra in the bags and he made you pinky promise not to tell anyone or that it would ruin his “street cred.” So you both came up with a handshake shared between just the two of you. That’s how life had started to feel for the past couple weeks. An inside joke shared between two souls. Were you falling for him?
“Alright!” He propped as you retrieved your feet back into your slides. “Let’s get you home, bab- dUDE” Mark panicked and cleared his throat. You opened your mouth to speak but he turned the volume of the music up and started driving once again.
“See I woke up having a bad dayy.. And I gotta get the dollar any fast way..”
He sang along to Way Back Home by Cordae and you took it as a prompt to not mention his slip up. So you sang along with him. Rolling down the window, the breeze felt nice on your skin. The warm yellow street lights lit up the blue atmosphere and it made everything feel like a Van Gogh painting. You couldn’t figure out if you had always seen life from such a romantic lens or was it just recently starting to feel more pink and purple. You looked at Mark, once again, taking in his features. Eyes trailing from his messy black hair, to his glasses, his Adam’s apple and how much you wanted to place a kiss on it to see his reaction. Your stare landed at his lips and you felt your own mouth slightly part. You thought about how his lips would feel pressed against yours in urgency. How his mouth would taste, if he would use his tongue straight away or wait a little? Would the kiss be rushed or would he take his time? Your mind went in loops and you swallowed as you felt yourself salivate at the thought. Shit. Maybe, you do like him.
Before you knew it, you were pulled outside your house once again but not a single atom in your body wanted to leave Mark. He turned to you again, smiling and opened the dashboard. Pulling out a package, he handed it to you. “Here you are.. and there’s a lil something extra. just like always but shh.” He handed you an A5 sized package. It was bigger than the usual extra but you decided to not question it. “Ok so, this is Strawberry Sorbet. I think you’re gonna like it. It’s gonna help your cramps and give you tingly feelings.. you know the kind you get when you see me?” He wiggled his eyebrows, earning a smack on the arm from you. He chucked, before continuing. “Nah but forreal, it’s really smooth as well. It’s a hybrid and kinda has like uhh.. a sweet candy-like flavour.. and DUDE. It slows down time SO much, its crazy. But uhm.. yeah, I hope you enjoy it.” He scratched the back of his head, realising that he might be talking too much but he relaxed when his eyes met your eyes, which were only focused on him. What was in the air tonight?
“Ugh dude, thank you so much. You are the best. Please let me know when you get home.” You gave him another hug, this time a bit shy-er than the first one. You felt your cheeks feel hot as Mark put his arms around you and give you a slight squeeze.
“Please, the streets should be scared that I’m not home yet.” He joked which made you roll your eyes.
“I’m being serious, Mark. Text me, okay?” You get out the car and lean in through the passenger window.
“Yes boss.” He raised his eye brow and smiled, playfully flirting with you.
“Okay, good.” And with that, he drove off. ________________________________________________________________________________
Dropping your keys in the bowl near your entrance, you walked back into your much warmer apartment, compared to the outside. You made your way to your bedroom and plopped yourself on the bed.
Wondering why the package is so big, you carefully opened it with excitement. You saw that he had your usual baggie in there but also a piece of paper. Confused, you pulled out the paper first, disregarding the weed. You hand flew to your mouth and you gasped, looking at the paper. Mark had drew an illustration of you with his copic markers. You always knew Mark was this skater guy, who liked to tag places with this friends but you never knew that he drew like this. You felt your stomach in knots as heat rose from your core, up to your cheeks, covering your entire face.
This. Fucking. Guy.
You thought to yourself and smiled. Your eyes trailed further along the paper to find a couple lines at the bottom, comparing you to a summer’s day with Mark’s own twist on it. “Nerd” You whispered to yourself, giggling. You felt your phone buzz and you jumped to pick it up. ____________________________________________
Mark 10:05 pm
home. the streets are safe now.
Y/N 10:05 pm
*attached pic* excuse me? what is thissssss?
Mark 10:06 pm
Looool Idk what you talking about :)
Y/N 10:06 pm
you nerd. I never knew you drew so well.
Mark 10:06 pm
you like it? hahaha
Y/N 10:06 pm
I love it
Y/N 10:07 pm
the poem too? where have you been hiding all this talent?
Mark 10:09 pm
shhh.
Mark 10:09 pm
It make you smile?
Y/N 10:09 pm
Yes....
Mark 10:10 pm
good.
____________________________________________
Throwing your phone, on the bed you fell back into your pillows and squealed into your hands like a love struck teenager. Ok. You definitely have feelings for him.
That night, neither of you could sleep. Mark felt nervous about his bold move and you felt giddy about your feelings. After a couple of hours of tossing and turning, your phone buzzed again. This time, it was a phone call.
“Sorry, who’s this?” You answer the phone jokingly.
“Ha Ha, very funny, asshole.” Mark dead panned, making you laugh. “Why you still up?” He asked softly.
“Dunno..”
“You can’t sleep either huh?” You could hear him smile through the phone and you bit your lip.
“So.. uhh.. you really like the drawing?”
“Dude, I love it. How do you know my face so well?” You exclaimed.
“Uhhmm.. I guess, I just know your face.. It’s a nice face.” Mark was being coy, yet again.
“Oh” You felt the shy spread from the phone and into you.
“I uh.. like your face.. I.. think uhm.. I.. like you” He mumbled, almost incoherently but you caught it. You both held your breath in anticipation of your reaction. You could feel your heart in your ears and your smile so wide, your cheeks started to hurt.
“You like me?”
“Don’t make me say it again.”
“I guess, you’re okay too Mark.” You teased him playfully.
“Woooow” He acted fake hurt.
“Come say it to my face, if you not pussy.” You suddenly felt a wave of confidence take over you.
“Oh yeah? Bet. Be there in 15.” And before you could tell him you’re joking, he hung up the phone.
____________________________________________
Mark showed up at your door in exactly 15 minutes. You opened the door, staggering a little from being nervous. “Hi” You said with a smile.
“Hi” he walked in and you both stood there, in awkward silence. Not knowing what to say or how to stand, you both felt super nervous.
“You wanna uh.. go sit on the sofa?” You offered, walking over to the living room and Mark followed. You both sat comically far from each other, with body language stiff. Looking around the room, you tried to find something to make small talk about. As you opened your mouth to speak, so did Mark and you both cut each other off. The awkwardness was killing you. You both laughed a little.
“You go” You turn to finally face him.
“I was just gonna say um.. if you wanted to try the strain I got for you today.. but urm I mean.. we don’t have to.. only if you want to.. you know, whatever is cool with me” Mark rambled on as you nodded and got up to get the baggie.
Walking back in to the living room, he looked up at you. Eyeing you in your shorts and a baggy t- shirt. “And come sit next to me.” He patted his hand beside him and you sunk into the sofa.
Mark put his arm around you and used his other hand to lift up your chin to look at him. His eyes were soft yet intense. You had never seen this look in his face before and it made you feel dizzy.
“Hey you..” He smiled.
Mark wasted no time before taking your lips into his. All the air came out of your lungs and you melted into his touch. His lips were soft and tasted like strawberry candy. He moved his lips against yours, painfully slow before pulling back to look at you. “Hi” He pecked your lips and smiled. Leaning his head to the other side, he kissed you again, this time, a little harder. His hand moved from under your chin, to under your ear as he held your face and traced his tongue against your mouth. You opened your mouth some more, letting out a sigh into his mouth which went straight to his dick and he pushed his tongue in further, deepening the kiss. You both got lost in the kiss for a while there before pulling away and smiling at one another as if you’re already high. Even though, your lips were now disconnected. Your eyes stayed fixed on one another.
“You have really long lashes..” You said matter of factly, making Mark laugh.
“And you like me back” Nothing could stop you both from smiling like idiots at one another. It felt as if, nothing else mattered in this moment.
“I do.. I do...” You left another peck, not being able to get enough of him. Mark pulled his arm from over you to dig through his pocket. He pulled out the special pink papers and handed them to you to roll one.
____________________________________________
The room felt like it was slowly spinning into you, a vortex of your feelings towards mark floated around you and time came to a halt. Your heart grew ten sizes that night, beating outside of your being, covering the entire room. You wanted to absorb him into your heart. The only way to express this to him was to have him inside you. Thinking about it, you felt your underwear pool and you moaned into Mark’s mouth. He squeezed your thigh tighter as a response, which brought you back to this room. On this sofa. On his lap. Tongue in his mouth. It was only then you realised, how time became warped from when you started smoking and Mark pulled you in for another kiss. Everything had been a blur since then. All you could focus on was how in such a short amount of time, this boy had become so dear to you.
Mark’s hands went to your ass to give it a handful squeeze and he got up picking you up with him. He pecked your lips once again.
“Hi baby” he smiled, taking in your features in awe.
“You okay?”
“Hi” you cheesed back at him, pecking his nose in response. “Of course.”
Mark carried you over to the bed and laid you down gently. Moving your hair out of your face, he hovered over you.
“God, you’re so beautiful” his ran his index finger along the side of your cheek.
“From the day I met you dude, I knew I was gonna like you.” He kissed you all over your face, filling the space with your giggles.
“Gonna make you my girl.” His lips, once again, crashed down into yours and he settled between your legs. You could feel him on your thigh and it drove you crazy. Adding to your arousal, he slowly grinded into you. He held your waist, before slipping his hands inside your shirt and squeezed one of your breast, lighting pinching your nipples in between his fingers. You swore you could’ve came right then. He lifted your t-shirt up to admire your body further. His eyes hung low from the weed and his mouth slightly parted. He smiled.
“Dang! They are so beautiful. Nice to meet you.” He left kisses along your breast, making you giggle and feel more comfortable.
Mid-giggle, your breath got caught in your throat when Mark licked a stripe between your chest, taking your nipple in his mouth. The shock made you arch your back and run your fingers through his hair before grabbing it. You let out a moan and felt Mark smirk against your skin.
Working his way down to your body, he took your shorts off. Coming face to face with your absolutely dampened underwear, Mark’s light hearted expression changed.
“Your panties.. are ruined” His voice, barely a whisper.
You felt a shift in the atmosphere. The air became heavy and thick with lust. You felt yourself clench around nothing when Mark pressed his thumb into your heat to check if this was real life. His eyes a little wider, and breath heavier. Mark wasted no time as he used his index finger to slide your panties to the side.
“Oh hi” his voice cracked a little, indicating that he was trying very hard to keep things light- hearted but his head was also spinning from the lust. He needed you.
“Baby?” He looked up at you with a glint in his eyes.
“Yeah?” You asked, rubbing head lovingly.
“Can I eat it baby?”
All you could do was nod and Mark didn’t need to be told twice. He dove right in with his tongue, kissing your pussy all over. He settled on the clit, making you move your thighs on his shoulders.
Mark took that as a sign to grab you harder and he moved his face in a zig-zag motion in your pussy. With every moan, Mark moaned with you.
“Mm?”
“Does it feel good?”
He was absorbed in the act and it was now his turn to feel a vortex of his feelings slowly fade into him, from outside of him. The vibrations from his moan were only sending you over the edge and then he slipped his fingers inside you. You grabbed his hair again, letting him know he’s doing good. Mark was so focused, his eyebrows furrowed and mouth slightly open. He was studying your reactions to the different movements of his fingers. His eyes going from your face to your pussy and how it was sucking in his fingers. Mark felt entranced.
He was aching inside his sweats as he felt you cum on his tongue. Legs shaking around his head, hands grabbing at his hair for some sort of support. He took his other hand to find yours and interlocked his fingers with yours. Even though, you had came. Mark did not take a second to let you catch your breath as he carried on, making you cum twice more. He felt like he could’ve stayed in there forever. He was drunk of your taste and smell. Time was still warped for the both of you. It ceased to exist.
And when Mark was finally inside you. Both of you felt as though you have sunken into a cloud. With each thrust, you kept sinking, deeper and deeper. Going lower, and lower. The room was filled with your moans and the sound of how wet you were. You don’t think you legs ever stopped shaking from he first time, they had done that. “Oh my god, you feel so good.” Mark managed to get some words out, after a long time of scrunched up faces and moans. Mark felt like he was losing his mind. Every time you closed your eyes, you saw stars. You wrapped your legs around him and his movement staggered. “Wait.. wait.. you gonna make me cum like this.. turn over for me.” He placed a kiss on your cheek.
Now laying on your stomach, Mark slid into you once again. Immediately, realising that changing positions might have made things worse when he felt your ass cushion his thrusts, he fell onto your back and lightly bit your shoulder. Mark pounded into you with force, accepting his fate of climaxing very soon. His hand snaked onto your throat as he guided your head back so he could kiss you again. He lightly squeezed your throat as he pounded into you. Moans and curse words flew from both of your mouths and you felt him throb inside you. The movement, hitting your spot perfectly, made your legs shake once last time as you came around him and you swore Mark almost growled in your ear.
“Baby.. you’re pu..pushing me out.. ugh.. feels..s o.. good.” It wasn’t long before, he also came to his climax and pulled out, finishing all over your ass.
He collapsed on the side next to you as you both caught your breath and settled into giddy giggles again. “That felt like 10 years and 2 seconds, all at the same time.” You say, out of breath.
You were both so infatuated with one another. It was disgusting.
“Lemme get you a towel babe.” Mark groaned before getting up and walking over to the bathroom.
You admired his naked frame from the back. His muscly back and toned ass. He was sculpted by the gods and you just had this man moaning into your mouth. The thought of that made your core tingle again, confirming that this was only the first round of tonight.
“So.. Shakespeare, huh?” You called out to Mark from the bed, referring to his poem.
“Oh, he is the OG man.” You heard the water shut and he shouted back.
Walking back into the room in all his glory, now from the front. You admired him. “If you’re good, I’ll show you my stuff sometime.” He sank onto the bed and wiped your butt with the warm towel.
#mark lee x fem reader#mark lee#mark lee fanfic#nct 127#nct dream#mark lee fluff#mark lee smut#nct#GUYS THIS MADE ME GET IN MY FEELINGS SM#IDK IF IT WILL GET U GUYS IN UR FEELINGS TOO COS IDK WHAT UR STYLE OF ROMANCE IS BUT THIS HAS GIVEN BRAIN ROT#i hope u enjoy??!!
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BOX. Jaemin
"Memories need to be shared."
Pairing. Na Jaemin x Reader
Synopsis. The community you live in is a perfect dystopia with citizens not given any freedom or choice. Without choice, the Neorists Elders of society believe they can prevent negative elements, such as war. You're assigned to the Dreamer Na Jaemin with the aim of being the next Dreamer. However when presented with freedom, choices and a world of wonder, you begin to fall into the unknown of a word known as 'love'.
Dreamscape() Masterlist
“What do you mean you want to remove ‘pleasure’ from this community?” Johnny furrows his brows, eyes piercing across the room meeting an unfazed ‘Dreamer’, Na Jaemin, the only man wearing black. Also known as the only person in the entire community with recollection of memories of what the whole world once was before the erasing of memories. “You can’t remove pleasure.”
The other board members, mainly the men who were ‘guilty’, are also in shock when hearing what the Dreamer is suggesting. “I mean what I said. You took things too far when you impregnated another Neorists. And that’s strictly forbidden.” Jaemin notes to the only female elder Neorist in the room surrounded by 10 men.
“I think this decision of yours is coming from a place of bitterness. Are you upset because you don’t have anyone to pleasure? Have you even pleasured anyone? What we should be discussing is how to bring pleasure back into relationships.”
“This is my point exactly. You’re so intoxicated with pleasure that you don’t see the problem.” Jaemin cocks up a brow in bafflement. Sometimes being the only one with memories of all emotions was a pain. “Too much pleasure leads to destruction, especially when there’s no love.”
“Oh please love is irrelevant, and what possible destruction can come out of pleasure?” Johnny quizzes with an imposing tone.
“For one, non-consenting rape, which is the act of forcing yourself on somebody who hasn’t agreed to partake in the activity.” Jaemin informs. “It’s literally what you’re doing. Not only that, you’re sliding past the fact that you were caught breaking other laws.”
“I’m guilty of no such matters. Our Neorist here agreed to our encounter. Is that right?” Turning his head to the female, she subtly nods her head with an expressionless face. Johnny crosses his legs with a smirk on his face. “And besides, how else are we going to get the community to produce children?” Johnny questions.
Jaemin rolls his eyes, a gesture that surely goes noticed by all the board members of Neorists, the highest forms of elders in their communities. Aside from Jaemin being the only Dreamer, and the only one who felt entitled to have a say in laws, they surely disliked when he’d pull faces of rudeness and disrespect. Even if he was right. “Cut the bullshit. You don’t care about children. All you care about is sexual pleasure.”
“What proof do you have?” Johnny questions.
“What proof?” Jaemin scoffs and glances at the only female Neorist elder in the room. “She’s literally carrying a child as we speak- a child you ‘helped’ created. She said you gave her a serum and she had a weird feeling after. You clearly did something to her. And she’s not even a birth mother.”
“Your point?” Another male elder asks. “I think President Suh is correct. You’re bitter because you don’t have someone to pleasure.”
Folding his arms and leaning on the table Jaemin tries to speak calmly without letting his anger show. Yet it’s already clear from the moment he opens his mouth that he’s seething. “When we first implemented ‘pleasure’ in community 1, the idea was that only selected ‘birth mothers’ and ‘father genetics’ would engage in that activity. It was a success and we taught it to the other communities. The only problem now, is that you President Suh and a few of you board members have stepped out of bound over the years and decided to participate. It doesn’t work like that. You’re throwing things off balance.”
“I have to agree with the Dreamer. Not only are you not taking the injections but you are breaking the laws we placed.” Jaehyun, the elder Neorist of justice and law sides with the Dreamer and looks to the President of all communities. “How do you expect the community to follow the rules when you don’t?”
Johnny gets up while buttoning his front button, an indication that he’s not going to listen to anything else from the meeting. “This is such a time waste. Instead of preparing for the ceremony we’ve wasted time talking about irrelevant matters. I’ll take my leave.”
Johnny is just about half way in leaving the board room when Jaemin grudgefully stands up. “You know what, fuck this. I’ve selected a new Dreamer.”
That captures Johnny’s attention as he freezes mid step gazing at Jaemin. “Don’t be absurd. We haven’t examined-”
“Of course ‘you’ haven’t examined because you were too busy getting your dick wet. But I already did.” Jaemin looks at Johnny dead in the eye. “She will be my successor, and she’ll be the one to put up with your shit when I’m gone, because seriously, I can’t have this anymore. I’m done.”
And with that, Jaemin walks out the room first.
The water scatters and dashes out from the shower head sprinkling hot waters onto his body when he gets home. Standing underneath the pouring heat, his hands against the wall- the wall being a see through glass, his eyes looking over the view in longing to finally be free like nature. The view of the downslope mountain filled with greens of shrubs, trees, blooming colored florets with nature at its best. The thought crosses his mind again. He’s been thinking of quitting being a Dreamer for almost an entire year. To end his life and time in this draining world.
There’s nothing worth it anymore. Clinching his jaw from the depressing thoughts he turns the handle far back erupting a strangled choke to leave his breath just as the freezing cold waters hit his body hard. He can’t end his life just yet, he needs to complete his last quest in this damn community before he can kick the bucket. For good. For him as a Dreamer, living in this community is lonely. He just hopes that the person he’s chosen to be his successor won’t feel like him.
Because everyone is taught to follow and obey the rules within the community, in order to eliminate discrimination, envy, jealousy, supremacy, hate and plainly anything different. Everyone that is born into the community is a blank slate and is taught how to walk, talk, work and live. Without communities in place there would be chaos and war would break out. The ‘Neorists’ better known as wise council of elders have maintained communities for centuries, keeping the community in peace, passing down guidelines and rules on how to keep tranquility amongst all.
You’re lucky to have grown up in a community that had no war and endless peace. They said that the war was terrible, that it destroyed everything. And after the war had ruined everything, mankind found a solution to carry on. Through the acts of Communities. There were 7 communities in total. When ‘Communities’ were created, everything started afresh. The start of the new civilization marked the end of the wars worldwide, society was reset, rebuilt, evoking true equality and sameness. It marked the beginning of a new era, a new people, a new life within communities. Everything that was made new, contributed to the good of the new communities. These rules being respected created harmony, balance and greatest of all, allowed life to continue on peacefully.
Years down the line, it all worked out. Peace was restored, everyone was the same and knew how to live in the community. Everyone was able to follow and obey the rules without a second thought. Everyone was able to fit in.
Except for you.
Tomorrow, you and the rest of the year 19’s would finally be 20’s and would be assigned your jobs. Your purpose in life. What you were made for. Your place in the community. After years of attending studying departments, you are going to be a part of the people that contribute to society. Your lecturer’s last words, were words that almost… frightened you. No. Precision of language. Wrong word, you think. Frightened means that deep, sickening feeling of something terrible about to happen. Your lecture’s words made you ‘anxious’ for what would happen tomorrow. It’s frightening because it seems like everyone already knows their jobs, but you don’t have a clue of what you’ll be. You are lost. Lost because while everyone in the community, thought the same and did everything the same, you… always felt like you did things… differently, you saw things that other people didn’t. In your eyes you’d see flickering of extra lights… Where everything is black and white, in the sky… you’d see… hue.
Your eyes snap to the road ahead of you as you instantly halt your bicycle when almost coming in contact with a man dressed in all black. Whereby the whole community only wore white, your eyes are completely shocked seeing the man wearing all black. The Neorist, Dreamer Na Jaemin. You quickly bow your head apologizing. “I apologize.”
“It’s dangerous to be riding and looking up at the sky. Be careful.” Nonchalant and unfazed, almost if the sounds of getting hit by a bicycle is nothing.
“I apologize.” You say again, but you’re thankful that he doesn’t write out an issue of warning for you and continues walking, ignoring you. You continuing to ride your bicycle, this time keeping in mind of the correct road and not minding him, because there are more pressing thoughts in your head.
You never said anything of what you saw. You didn’t want to be different. Who would?
The rules were simple to follow: Use precise language. No touching other people not of your dwelling. Wear your assigned clothing. Take your morning medication. Obey the curfew. Never lie. These rules made sense to keep everything ‘same’.
However, for you, these rules were easy to follow, but hard to understand. Precise language… assigned clothing… medication, curfew and of course… lying. You acted and did as everyone did, but in a world where every person thought the same, moved the same and even looked the same… you don’t know why, your thoughts… had thoughts and why they were different. You didn’t want to be different, otherwise you’d be ‘released’. Released is a term, or rather the highest form of punishment to anyone who failed to contribute to society. They were to be taken out of society, forever. For good. Maybe… Maybe that’s why you’re so frightened for what will happen tomorrow. What if you get relea-
‘Kring, kring.’ A bell rings behind you, snapping your thoughts back to the present indicating company. You smile upon seeing the two males in which you’re closely associated with, your two friends, whom you’ve been acquainted with your whole lives. Jeno and Haechan. With smiles on their faces brewing excitement in their eyes, it’s always easy to feel comfortable and at ease around them. “You left us,” Haechan, the boy who makes everyone laugh, playfully whines.
Jeno, the boy who makes everyone smile turns to look at you. “I apologize for the both of us that we’re late. I thought I could take Haechan around to say farewell to our lecturers.” Jeno fills you in, with his memorable eye smile that’s always refreshing to see.
“I accept your apology.” You smile back, turning your head to Haechan. “And why does Jeno have to apologize for you? Aren’t you going to apologize for yourself?”
“I apologize for making you ride alone. In fact, we could’ve all gone together to say goodbye to the teachers had you not left so suddenly.” Haechan tries to justify himself, but you hear a scoff coming from Jeno.
“I accept your apology.” You answer back none the less while shaking your head.
“Precision of language Haechan. We weren’t saying goodbye, more like, see you around.” Jeno voices out his thoughts, as the friend who consistently obeys every rule. He’s like a model student of what it means to embody the rules.
“But I don’t want to see them again,” Haechan nags like a little kid, causing you to roll your eyes by his nature. “I want to finally get to tomorrow so that I can go and work.” Being bold and riding high on his bicycle Haechan voices out. “Whoever’s listening please, please do not make me a teacher or lecturer or anything to do with the studying departments. Please.”
You laugh, this time along with Jeno. Of course, every street pole, every building, every tree, every structure in some way, has a camera big enough or even small enough to see and hear what everyone in the community does. You wonder, if you also had to get up on your bike and yell out what you want to be, maybe the Neorists who listened in, would place you there. They ruled your lives and every outcome from them is said to be the best.
You live in a world were differences aren’t allowed. There’s no popular, no fame, no winners and no losers. The Neorists of the pasts eliminated all of that so that they’d be no conflict. No fear. No pain. Envy. Hate. All those negative feelings weren’t here and it had been wiped from history. Every memory that everyone had now, was of this wonderful society that was created.
Riding your bicycles together with your friends, listening to Jeno and Haechan casually talk yet good-humoredly bicker allows your mind to be distracted from the thoughts of tomorrow. Haechan leans forward on his seat carefully standing up and balancing on his bicycle.
“I’m going to miss volunteering here.” Jeno says, once the nursing facility is close by. You look to the building and nod your head.
“Don’t worry my friend, I’m sure you’ll be coming back here.” Haechan smirks. “If there had to be another word for nurse, it’d be Jeno. You were born for this.”
“What about you Y/n?” You turn your head to Jeno, displaying an earnest smile once drawing to the center side of the building. “Out of all the positions that the elders would choose for me, where do you think they’d place me?”
Looking up to the bold font title in the middle of the building, you nudge your head to it. “Nurturing center. You’re very caring, selfless, dedicated to helping others and always so good with people. If anything you should be in charge of the nurturing department.” You compliment boldly. He looks at you, returning a sincere beam, as if liking your answer more than Haechan’s statement.
Every day since you went to the studying department school, the lecturers ‘mandatorily’ suggested that doing volunteering work in different sectors would enhance the Neorists to notably put you in a work career that would best suit you. You had no one place you liked going, so you always followed Haechan and Jeno. Nurturer, Laborer, Engineer, Law and justice, Pilot, Speaker etc. By chance you volunteered everywhere and exceled in everything, you just didn’t know what you exceled at the best. That feeling… that frightening feeling comes back at the thought of your purpose. You wonder, have you done enough volunteering work so that the Neorists may know where to put you, or have you done too little, that they haven’t a clue of what your position would be? If that’s the case, it means you are going to be released. You’d be a failure.
And you don’t want that. Which is why, as you carry a baby from the bed and move over to the weighing table following Jeno’s lead, you hope that just as Jeno has shown a kin interest on nurturing, that perhaps you’ve also shown an interest in something. Unfortunately, Jeno’s baby weighs heavier and he has a playful look on his face, lifting up the baby with a coy smile. “That’s my little baby. A baby who’s strong and ready to be a 1 year old.” Jeno lightheartedly mocks you.
“Oh, it’s like that now.” You chortle. Seeing a figure in uniform approach you both, you smile. Your father. Lee Taeyong.
“Which one was heavier?” He asks.
“This baby was.” Jeno indulges in baby language having a moment with the baby. However, in the spacious room full of male and female nurses along with volunteering students, all attention is turned to a certain cubic stand- hearing a rueful cry. It’s your first time hearing a baby cry. Just as a nurse takes the quiet baby from you and places the baby in a box sealing it tight saying that it will be released and didn’t qualify, you follow your father as he moves to the cube were the crying baby is in.
Reading its tech monitor screen, you see the words: HE/UNQUALIFIED.
“He looks so unhappy.” You lean close having a look at the wailing baby’s voice.
“Unfortunately he doesn’t qualify for his first ceremony.” Your father says. “He’s just not strong enough. It’s why he’s crying. He can’t be assigned to a family yet.”
Trying to get the babies attention, by tapping on the glass and smiling gently, you peek back when seeing Jeno standing next to you equally examining the unhappy child. “Can we open it?” Jeno asks, which your father nods to, silently watching the baby with a concerned face.
Last night, the birth mothers did an incredible job of birthing about 40-70 children in community 7 alone. 64 of those children were perfect. 3 came out stiff and would be released. 2 were identical, the one that you and Jeno were weighing (the least heaviest would be released too). And finally this 1 was the only one crying but wouldn’t be released just yet.
Jeno opens the little slot allowing you to put your hand in. “Hey there little guy. Why are you crying? Are you not happy because you won’t be in the first ceremony?”
Jeno’s gentle smile spreads over his face as he observes you making conversation with the baby. “Let me,” He offers to help especially when the baby doesn’t stop crying. You move a little, watching Jeno place his hand inside the cube placing it over the baby’s head. “There, there,” He simply says, and instantaneously, the baby shifts its head in Jeno’s direction.
“Wow,” You marvel. “You just have that gift. It’s not fair,” You joke, but slowly the baby hesitates and fidgets.
“Be strong Jisung.” Your father’s voice gets your attention and you turn to him.
“You looked at his name? Isn’t that against the rules?”
He turns to you nervously. “Y-yes it is. I thought having a name might help him grow.” Before his gaze focuses on the baby. “It’s why I whispered it.”
You’ve always admired your father. A nurse. Never buckles under pressure, always knows what to say as the head of the house and is simply a really good father to you, mother and your little 10 year old brother, Chenle. You spend the rest of the day in the nursing center, even when Haechan and Jeno leave. And 30 minutes before the curfew call is made, you and your father both take your bikes and stroll to the dwelling where you stay. Getting there just before the curfew call, you take your afternoon injection as soon as you enter the door. Which is just a little pinch on the wrist of your right hand by placing your hand over the little robotic poll.
Getting ready for dinner, you, your brother Chenle, your Mother Seulgi and Father Taeyong all sit by the large metallic squared box table and exactly at 6.30 on the dot, the table opens up revealing covered trays of supper.
Removing the lid of the tray, you begin eating just as everyone does in silence. A while later, your father begins the conversation by asking everyone about their feelings for the day. Your mother answers; ‘disappointment’ because of a fellow educator who didn’t teach according to the textbook. The outcome of that situation was that the teacher was released to elsewhere. Your father ends up asking your little brother about his feelings. His answer; ‘excited’ because he’ll be a 10 tomorrow. His enthusiasm brings smiles to your faces. And then finally; your father calls your name.
“Your turn for feelings.” He eats on his vegetables and so do you. Taking a little bit of time to respond as you eat. The rules for food being don’t eat too fast and don’t talk when eating. Once you swallow you breathe out.
“Well, I guess… I’m sort of…” You thought you had an answer, but after hearing Chenle’s answer, you feel nervous again. “Frightened.”
“Precision of language.” Your mother corrects, giving you a worried look, sternly.
“Then I feel terrified?” You try to ask, as she’s trying to correct your feelings, which you don’t understand. You were the one feeling it.
“Precision of language.” She says again. “Anxious, is the word. Being frightened and terrified is awful and only used in dire situations.”
“Yes. Thank you for your correction.” You nervously smile. She’s right. You’re anxious. You look at your food.
“Why?” Your father asks. “Are you nervous for the ceremony tomorrow?”
You nod your head. “Mother, father. When you were about to graduate from being a 19 to 20, did you feel like there was no position meant for you?”
Your father shakes his head. “The Neorists been watching you since you were a child, they know what position is meant for you.”
Your mother nods her head. “They are never wrong. Tomorrow you’ll see that you have a place in our community.” She smiles. “Cheer up my daughter. There’s no need to be anxious.”
You nod your head. The feeling won’t go away. Even as you’re done eating and place the tray back on the center of the table and the table sinks low with the empty trays, leaving its original flat surface, you’re still anxious. You walk into your room after saying goodnight to everyone and rest on your bed. Instead of injecting yourself to sleep with the little robotic poll in your room, you… slightly disobey the rule of ‘8 p.m. sleep time’ and instead lay awake thinking of all the things that will happen tomorrow. You will be a 20. With a new job. A job you don’t even know.
Finally sighing, you roll on the side of your bed and place your wrist over the robotic poll allowing it to inject you. After some seconds, sleep consumes your entire mind.
-
The auditorium is vastly large with all the seating sections being filled as the whole of Community 7 make their way inside. Each seat is filled accordingly and correctly. Everyone being in a category. You’re seated on the third section along with all the other 19’s as you wait. Other sections have newly made parents, older parents, those who already have jobs and finally old age individuals. The ceremony is the only time when everyone from community 7 joins together in celebration of the new age. “Welcome citizens, to the annual ceremony of advancement.” A robotic female announcement addresses. Would you be a speaker like this voice? Could that be your future path?
Sitting next to Haechan, you can’t stop giggling at the jokes he makes, because they calm your racing heart down and stop you from guessing jobs for yourself. Jeno seated in front of you turns back once in a while with a chortle, telling Haechan to be quiet. Everyone is so excited that you can’t help but force the excitement of you just to blend in. But really, inside you’re petrified.
Especially since the Neorists of all communities are all here in one room. All 10 Neorists Elders are seated on the stage in a straight row facing the crowd. They look so normal, polished with smiles and bright with their grey garment, all except one. He’s seated on the end of the stage, almost a gap away from the other elders. He’s got a bored, dull look… no… Cold and almost uninterested look on his face. The same way he looked when you nearly bumped into him. He’s the only one wearing black. And it’s not even a black suit. The jacket is leather, the shirt inside.. has print design on it and you try to make out what is written on the shirt, but it’s blocked by his folded arms.
He’s so…
Your breath hitches in your throat when looking back at his face, only to have his deep eyes staring back at you. The corner of his lip tugs upwards in a smirk and in an instant your posture straightens and you snap your head away like a robot rebooting.
“Sheesh.” Haechan mutters shaking his head. “I swear that Elder’s presence is so menacing that it’s scary. Can you believe he’s the only Dreamer?”
Dreamer Na Jaemin. The only Elder who’s completely alone in what he does… whatever he does. “I nearly bumped into him with my bicycle yesterday.”
“Really?” Haechan’s eyes slightly widen.
“Please stand by for a transition.” You’re thankful for the robotic voice that addresses the crowd, allowing you to not think of that Dreamer and causing your conversation with Haechan to stop. On the stage, a beam of light is reflected and hologram of a man appears. The president of all communities appears in an elegant white suit. The robotic voice fades, as a manly voice of a calm man speaks. “Good morning community 7.”
“Good morning President Suh Johnny.” The community at large responds with gladness to see the familiar jolly face of the leader of all communities. Once again he’s appearing virtually. It’s a shame that he couldn’t come in person, you think to yourself.
“I apologize for my remote attendance.” He apologizes and you can tell the community immediately feels better.
“We accept your apology.” Everyone responds in sync… you mimic your mouth to follow but really you don’t accept it. President Suh although widely respected (feared- is what you’d say but then your mother would say ‘precision of language’) is a president you’ve always wondered why he’s in power. He doesn’t do much for the communities. It’s the Neorist Elders who work the hardest in maintaining the communities.
“I can’t be at every ceremony simultaneously in person, which is why I picked this hour as my favorite hour to spend with you. But here’s a secret, you are my favorite community.” He grins. For some reason, your eyes are drawn to the disinterested Dreamer Neorist Elder on stage again. He rolls his eyes and even… sinks low on his chair. What audacity does he have to show his disinterest, especially to the President? Perhaps he dislikes the President too. “But since we don’t lie, I must admit I say that to all the other communities.”
Your head snaps away from him again to the stage when hearing subtle laughs come from the crowd, from Haechan next to you as well as everyone else… You join in on the laugh thinly… your eyes wandering back to the Dreamer, only to look away immediately again. You only tried to see if he was laughing, or at least smiling too. But instead, you caught his eye on you… again. You try not to frown, but you can’t help as your eyebrows furrow a bit. Why is he looking at you?
“Beginnings. From disorder to chaos, great suffering and pain. From confusion, envy and hatred, came out a perfect solution. Communities, which harbored serene beautiful places, where disorder became harmony.” Everyone pats their thighs in sign of applauding. “It begins, the Ceremony.”
You join everyone in patting your thigh feeling your thigh nervously shake. You try to stop it, but as each ceremony occurs you get anxious. The large background screen begins to play gentle visual videos of each ceremony. It starts off with the ceremony to ‘elsewhere’ honoring the lives of the brave elderly old age men and women who have dedicated the lives and contributed nobly to the community. All the old age elders, about 65 of them, who were in another section that you couldn’t see all step on stage generously shaking each hand of the Wise Neorists council, before stepping off stage and waving their hands as they disappear behind some curtains. You’re not even surprised that the black clothed elder didn’t even shake hands or pay his respects to the elders. He’s so impolite and it’s making you feel unhappy.
Next is the ceremony of the 1’s. “Celebrating the new children. Proudly engineered by the genetics of father givers, produced by our proud birth mothers. These infants will now join their assigned family units. Welcome to the community little ones.”
“Welcome to the community.” The crowd says.
Your eyes enlarge joyfully when seeing all 65 of the new born babies being brought up on stage by nurses. The newly coupled parents are called one by one (as President Suh, calls out their names) to go on stage and claim they’re new addition to the family. Each of the children have names, but you’re surprised that you don’t hear ‘Jisung’s’ name. Either way, you clap on your thigh for both for the ceremony of the 1’s as well as the new parents who now have their first child, another batch of parents are called to claim their second addition to the family. All families have been taught to have 2 kids who are 10 years apart. The next ceremony is for the new 10’s.
Your head moves to the side when you see all the newly 10 year olds standing up and one by one go down the stairs and all unanimously stand in a line to be called on stage. You smile when you see Chenle. He’s looks bright and happy in his little white shirt and shorts. Everyone claps their thighs as all 60 children are called one by one on stage to receive their half way mark independence gift, a bicycle. They are now of age to possess their first responsible gift. You clap your thighs proudly when Chenle is called - Haechan beside you nudges you while holding back his own snickers telling you to keep it down. Chenle gets off the stage with his bike. Just as the little other 10 year olds receive their bikes, you see an usher in white standing by each respective row of your age group. Once the 10’s are done, the ushers signal out their hands stating that it’s your sections turn. You deeply inhale when standing up and following right behind Haechan.
“Celebrating the graduates, the 20’s, who today will be assigned their position in our community.” The president says as you all get on the stage. You stand in rows of 6, as they’re 60 of you. 10 in each column and 6 in each row.
“Good luck,” Jeno, who’s standing right in front of you turns, around with an encouraging smile. It reassures and even calms you down a little. So you try to enjoy the moment. Finally, the time has come to hear where you will fit in. Even though you wished to have a clear mindset on what job you’d do, you feel glad that the burden of choosing a job is not in your hands and in the hands of the Neorists. Father says they’re never wrong. So you smile back breathing in deeply and looking up above to the screen that showed gentle images of each 20 year old doing something. You see Haechan, and turn to him smiling just as he points at himself. He’s seen riding high on his bicycle and teaching other kids on how to ride their own bicycles. Others are shown as well, and you wait to maybe see yourself in the montage of images and soundless videos. But you don’t. You see Jeno, and other of your class mates, but you don’t see yourself. You try not to worry, as they didn’t put everyone in.
“All of your training has been to help you fit in.” Johnny continues. “To curb any impulse that may set you apart from others. But today we honor your differences, for today they have determined your future. Dear community, here are the new leaders and the teachers, and the workers, and nurses, birth mothers of tomorrow. And I think that, we’re in very good hands.” Johnny smiles, and you smile back feeling a great jubilation. “Number 1, Karina. Soft spoken with a delicate body, gentle with children and a pleasant to be around. Birth mother. Thank you for your childhood.”
Karina walks forward towards the one female Neorists elder who’s in charge of all the Nurturing Centers in all the Communities, gets up with a bright smile and hands her a little device as well as shakes her hand. You clap on your thighs and smile. That’s a good position for her. Names are being called, roles and jobs are being given, as rows go down you anxiously await your turn.
“Number 35, Jeno. From the beginning it was clear that Jeno flourished when working with new patients both old and young. Gentle with his touch with broad caring arms, Nurturer Nurse.” You smile when seeing up on the screen, Jeno carrying a little baby and smiling down at the child. You nod your head just as Haechan nudges you in agreement. Jeno goes forward to the Neorist female elder and she hands him a device. He gets off stage and goes back to his seat. Very quickly, the row in front of you disappears and finally they’re on your row. You prepare yourself shivering lightly.
“Number 43, Chittaphon. Talkative, engaging and surely a good story teller. Teacher of the middles.” You clap your thighs smiling.
“Number 44, Giselle.” The girl next to you, Giselle grins brightly as she steps forward to an elder man who gives her a device. Your heart is beating so loud that you barely even hear her assigned role. The moment you’ve been waiting for. You try to calm your pacing heart, but it’s beating all the way up to your ears and almost blocks your ear drums.
“Number 46,” You take two steps forward with a modest smile- “Haechan.” Yet you freeze when hearing the name… And number.
Haechan in astonishment reacts after a quick second and steps forward. His eyes are enlarged but his smile nervously returns when seeing a Neorist elder man stand up. “Unruly, careless, yet brings laughter wherever he goes. Sometimes those in need of responsibility learn best when they’re the practitioners of it. Drone Pilot.” A relieved sigh leaves Haechan’s mouth as he does a fist pump in the air and grins. This is something he’s wanted- being in the air as the all seeing eye. “Thank you for your childhood.”
Haechan takes his device from the elder man with a badge that said pilot. Haechan turns around about to head off stage in happiness, when all of a sudden sees your frozen posture and he remembers how they skipped your number. Hopefully it was a mistake.
“Number 47, Hendery.” Or not. “Ground keeper.” Haechan gets back to his seat with fear that they’ve skipped your number. Not just him, Jeno is equally as uneasy, concerned and worried for you. Not just in his mind but everyone is all thinking the same thing, you were going to be released. It’s what they did for those who weren’t qualified for a position and didn’t ‘fit in’ anywhere.
It’s hard paying attention to the other roles and jobs, as your parents see you standing on stage as your row finishes. In their minds, disappointment is what should’ve been clouding their heads. They raised a child who was unfortunate and couldn’t fit in the community. But no. That’s not what they think. Your mother thinks of you as brave, wondrous, fearless and an astounding human being. She had hoped you would even become… if she dares even say a Neorist elder… as rare as it is, she saw the potential in you. Despite your incorrect use of words, she always noticed how you naturally seemed curious. Your father thinks of you as someone who is daringly extraordinary. You embodied this wisdom and are a quick learner- for crying out loud you volunteered everywhere and almost everyone knew you because of how well rounded you were. You are an admirable child and there’s no way you’ll be released.
Not only your parents, but anyone who knows you, knows that you were… ‘different’ in a way. But then again, who would want to be different? There was no place for difference, except being released.
Chenle, despite his young age is not blind to the fact that you’re still on stage. Sitting in between his parents he looks up to his mother. “Mother, did they skip her?”
Always knowing what to say, this time she merely watches you as her heart slowly begins to race. She looks to Taeyong and he too has a great pale look on his face. Yesterday night, you said you were frightened. Terrified. And at this moment as all the names of the other year 20s are being called, you parents are feeling frightened and terrified themselves. Would you really be released? No. No way. You were such a good child. You were not a failure in anything. So why didn’t they call your name?
You stand there in absolute shock. Your eyes not daring to move away as you stare with daggers at the hologram. You repeat over and over in your head that they made a mistake and they’ll rectify it on the next call. They never do. You’re not anxious. You’re not terrified. You’re not frightened. But now, you’re horrified. You can feel your ears getting hot, your body is trembling, tears are coating your eyes. This can’t be real… this can’t be true.
Meanwhile, while the whole ceremony was a bore for the sole Dreamer Jaemin, the only man wearing black clothes, he particularly found this part interesting. Your reaction. He’s not slouching anymore on his seat. Instead, he’s leaning forward with a gaze so intense yet fascinatingly on you. He can only imagine what you’re feeling. You look so feeble… no, feeble is too much of drag… you look scared, like you’re about to pee in your pants.
“Number 60,” The president says the last name and you exhale lowly about to collapse from the tension. “Thank you for your childhood.” The last person walks up and receives a device walking off the stage. You’re too embarrassed to look back, you can’t even look back because you feel stiff to the bone. Your head feels heavy. The rooms temperature is declining and you swear that any time now, you’ll pass out. You’re the only one left on stage and just when you think things can’t get any worse your eyes pinch- “This marks the end of the ceremony. Thank you for your time.” Usually during this time, the screen would switch off, the monotonous robotic voice would thank everyone for coming and wish them all a safe return, or the auditorium would be filled with actual claps of two hands for the successful ceremony. Instead the only thing that switches off is the hologram.
Silence wafts the crowd.
Silence so loud that you’re sure that everyone can hear you struggling to hold in your breath. You’re breathing grows erratic.
You jolt lightly when seeing the hologram appear next to you. President Johnny is back on the screen. “You feel like I have made a mistake,” He states in a gracious tone. “I apologize to my community.”
The crowd is quick in saying, “We accept your apology.” But you don’t say it back.
“Number 45.” He turns around. Facing you. Your teary worried eyes stare at him. “I apologize for making you worry.”
You’re afraid to speak, but you gulp down quick and pass your arms past your eyes to remove the tears rapidly as you mutter out by force. “I accept your apology.”
Just as you wipe your eyes, the crowd grows quieter and tense from the unexpected Neorist who stands up and slowly draws closer behind you. The word Jeno would use is; dark. The word Haechan would use is; scary. The word your mother uses is; chilling. Your father is too speechless in thought to even think of the shady man standing behind you. The word the community would use is probably a forbidden word, a precision of language; ominous. As the contrast between you and the person standing behind you, is a combination of something… wrong. You’ve never volunteered in that field, so how is this possible… But for Jaemin, standing behind you, looking at your little form, he tries to see this as his last will to accomplish before he exempted to be taken to his death bed or better known as ‘elsewhere’.
Your name falls out of the President’s mouth again and you look up to his hologram, feeling that he can see you. “You have not been assigned a position, or role. You have been selected. As part of the boarding council of Neorists Elders, we were not hasty this time in choosing. We couldn’t afford another failure.” Hearing him say that, has you looking towards all the elders. Although your eyes miss the presence of one. It’s when you twist your head to perhaps find him, do you feel a sudden warmth against your back. You inhale and exhale quietly turning back to President Johnny. “You possess a great knowledge and understanding of all attributes in all communities. Intelligence. Integrity. Courage. And something that I can name, but I cannot describe, the capacity to dream beyond. You have always stood out.”
“Why does he insist on dragging things? You’re different, is what he means.” The whisper behind you, has you turning around fully to acknowledge the voice behind you. Looking into his empty eyes. He tilts his head to the side, lifting up something. You can’t even look down at what he’s holding, as your eyes are clear on his hair… you saw it yesterday in the sky… this hue… It’s now on his hair, but a darker shade. Your eyes focus back on his eyes and then his lips. “You can see it. It’s known as blue.” He whispers.
“But I must warn you,” The presidents voice gets drawn back into your ears. “Your training involves loneliness and isolation. Pain far beyond anything we know. Training that your school has not taught you. You may be female, but in you there’s great power. Are you strong enough for this? Do we think Y/n is brave enough?” The crowd taps their thighs eagerly in agreement. Chenle covers his mouth. “You have been selected as the next Dreamer. Thank you for your childhood.”
You take the device from the Dreamer’s hand and not even a second later, he’s walking back to his seat, satisfied. Meanwhile President Johnny wipes off the fake smile of his face as the hologram fades out. In his office he unfastens his tie breathing deeply. He was put into President-ship some years ago. And the ‘freedom’ he got to do anything he wanted was what allowed him to enjoy his post. If Jaemin left the Neorist, then it would mean Johnny would be exposed. And that’s not what he wants.
-
Haechan, Jeno and a few others congratulated you, while you felt others give you sympathetic eyes but told you to be strong for the community. Not very long, you left the auditorium with your family. Chenle rod on his new bike and asked mother a question: “The President said Y/n is now powerful. Does that mean she’s more powerful than you?” Mother hushed him and told him to not multitask, that he should focus on riding. No one knew what to say. You were the next Dreamer… You went up to your room. Dinner time came and you ate, shared feelings. You said you felt relieved, but in you there was nothing feeling relieved. You were the next Dreamer… what does that even mean? What does a dreamer do?
You felt this heavy pressure being weighed on you. Pain… Loneliness… you don’t even know how those things felt. After an appetizing dinner, which you couldn’t really enjoy because of the thoughts bursting all over your head. You disliked that they called you ‘different’ and outed you so that everyone could see you. Father says you’ve been greatly honored, but you feel petrified. No one said it to your face, but you could guess what they were all thinking. They were all scared for you. Being the next dreamer was scary.
Once the time reaches 7, you eagerly pull out the device that was instructed to only be opened around 7 p.m. The device shines brightly in your room with a hologram. Words begin to display themselves on the screen and you read over them. In your knowledge, you’ve always known there to be 10 Neorist Elders. And all these elders seemed to have large teams… however the Dreamer was the sole inheritor of the title. He was the only one known as the Dreamer. Thinking about him, you get goosebumps wondering if you’d be lonely like him. Despite it all, a part of you feels… as if they made the right choice.
Tomorrow is Monday. A new day. A new month. And a new year. You’d finally be able to work in your selected job.
Sleep doesn’t come easily, as your new rules from the device plays in your mind. Five new rules to follow and remember. One. Report directly to the Dreamer, Na Jaemin for your training. After training return immediately to your dwelling. Two. As of this moment on you are exempted from all rules governing rudeness. You may ask any questions. Three. Aside from your night sleeping medication, you’re not allowed to take any other form of medication. Especially for the pain. Four. You may not discuss your training with anyone. Ever.
Waking up in the morning, you don’t know how you fell asleep but you’re stunned that you slept on your own without your sleep injection. There’s a knock on your door, and you get up from bed to answer. Your father warmly greets you before handing you a package that is specially delivered for you. On the rectangular oddly black box there’s a title that says; DREAMER. You carefully pull back the box revealing the contents inside. There’s two sets of pants, one in denim quality and the other in a tight stretchy quality. There’s 3 dresses, all of the same length an inch above the knee, but different quality and forms. They’re all tight. And then they’re 2 pairs of skirts. One long in fine silk, and the other is below the knee. And lastly there’s 2 shirts. One long sleeve buttoned up shirt and one short sleeve buttoned up. And two pairs of shoes. 1 flat and 1 sportswear.
The only thing in common with all the new clothes is that they’re all in the color black.
A striking black that feels overwhelming. You quickly take your bath and eagerly get excited for what to wear. Despite the color, you’re enticed by the relaxing sweet smell. You decide to wear the black skinny denim pants and a long sleeve buttoned up. You get ready, eating breakfast with your family. There’s light chatter, but no one comments on your clothes feeling it… overpoweringly black. The moment the clock strikes 7 a.m. you leave like all the adults. Your parents wishes you well; father takes his bike to work, mother opts to walk to work while going with Chenle who eagerly takes his bicycle to school. And you, you smile when Jeno who’s riding his bicycle stops by your place.
“Cool.” His eyes marvel at your clothes. “First day of work.”
He’s also got on the regular nurse uniform. Full white long sleeved polo neck and some white pants with white shoes. He’s got a name tag over his left bicep jersey. “First day of work.” You reply with a big smile, getting on your bicycle and following along the same path that you normally took. Somewhere along some road you’d separate, but for now you’re just trying to relax even as you feel all eyes on you and your new outfit. It’s only now that you realize that everyone wears white so proudly like it’s their whole identity.
“They look so important.” He comments about your clothes. “In a good way of course,”
“I feel like I stick out too much.”
“Well yeah, there’s only one Dreamer.” He comments. “Two, if you I count you as well.” He smiles. He seems most happy for your work. “I can’t wait for you to tell me all about it. Have a good day.” He says before you both separate.
You get slightly gloomy when thinking of the fourth rule and how you’re never supposed to share anything about your training… oh yes, and finally the last rule. Five. You were now allowed to lie… but honestly, all your life you’ve already known how to lie. Subtle of course, but this rule makes you wonder if you’re lying would be taken to another level.
You don’t know how you feel about that yet, but so far, anticipation graces your presence as you ride your bike along the left side with other people heading to work either by foot or bike. It’s a long ride, as you recall the little map shown on your device. But it’s not like you really needed the map, the Dreamer’s layer was at the edge of the community, or like some liked to call it the end of the world. You’ve heard stories about people getting lost to the edge and never to be seen again. You never thought of them to be real, but riding closer and getting away from humanity and following the sole trial leading you across various trees before slipping into dry lands, you wonder how the edge looks.
You’re in absolute awe when seeing clouds formed as an outline all around the edge. Each community is separated almost by thousands of miles by these clouds blocking any vision to the other side. Each community is built up on a large structure preventing the people from ever seeing below. Despite the community being in the center, the edge would still be spoken about from everybody. And now you get to work closely to it…
There’s a little bricked grey residence. It has one large door, but so many large vines that look sharp spreading all around the exterior of the house. There’s no place to lock your bicycle, so you just put it down on the tips of the grass, and keenly walk the path to the grand door. You knock on the door twice - stepping back quickly when hearing a monotonous robotic voice. “Welcome. Please gaze at the sensor.” You turn to the device on the wall and lean close to ‘gaze’ at it. The door unlocks itself with a loud clicking sound. “Welcome Dreamer Y/n.”
After composing yourself and taking in a deep breath, you step through the door, watching it close by itself. There's nothing but a greyly lit corridor. You follow the steep corridor, only knowing that it's probably leading you. The passage gets narrow and dimmer, and so do your nerves peek high. You're pretty sure you're alone but for some reason you keep hearing… something. You can't make out what it is, it sounds like whispers running down. You turn another corner which is even more steep and downhill. But finally after much touring you come to a stop in front of a door. It's completely black and has the word DREAMER engraved in the middle. There's no handle for you to pull or twist, so you push the door instead- and like a rushing wind exploding in your ears you hear so much noise. Your eyes enlarge by the sight of the long structured tall room with a wide window view of rushing waters streaming down. "Oh my."
You step in holding onto a nearby rail as your eyes take in the room that looks so much like a garden but inside of a … fortress. You're standing close to the door on a spiraling staircase with a large and thick tree right in the middle. It’s branches spread up so high that they spread over the ceiling. The staircase leading down has an open view of the whole foyer. All the walls are filled with books and they go even higher. When your eyes reach the ceiling, there's a chandelier emitting out so many lights. Looking down, you're in awe of the particular setting. A one seat couch rests near the view of the floor to ceiling closed window, there's a circular glass table with curved designs holding it up. On the opposite side another long lengthen couch catches your attention as it flourishes with several pillows and blankets lacing its wide embrace- and it only has one elbow rest, but the other side is empty. Aside from that the one thing that really astonishes you is all the pot planets and the lively nature in the room.
You walk down the spiraling staircase not only looking at the tree but getting a look at the books. Titles such as Animals of the world, Philosophy of color- all peak your interest as you've never heard or even seen any of these books anywhere in the community. Finally making it down the stairs, your head moves towards another foreign large rectangular boxed object. A lift. The doors slide open and you’re immediately alert when someone walks out of it. It's the Dreamer. Aside from his clothing, his face alone has such a bold difference compared to anyone you know in the community. He's dressed in all black again, with a puffed jacket and a short hairstyle that embodied both rebellion and attitude and he emits such a bad character. He's scowling and muttering under his breath, also noticing your presence. "Great." His unoptimistic and bored underline tone of sarcasm speaks volumes to you. He's not happy. "You're here. Can't even enjoy these last days."
"I apologize for disturbing you. I'm Y/n the dreamer in train-"
"Shit." Your ears are tender to the words he says, and you even frown upon hearing a cursed word. "You think I don't know who you are?”
“Oh. I apologize. Good morning-”
“Miss me with that greeting." His footsteps are rapid as he makes his way to his personal space… another open section that you couldn't see from upwards. "Follow me." He drags out. And you follow with a distance behind. The open area is not long and stretched out with books, it's caved in white darkness (if that makes sense) but still has the scenery of nature. Unlike the previous room it has no windows but a large circular table. He turns around with such a crude face; rough but open. His lips prompt in a tight line. He takes a seat and you can't help but take a seat on the only other chair.
He lets out a sigh and rolls his head around his neck muttering things you can't hear, before finally addressing you. "So, why do you think you were selected?" His low voice cuts through the silence with a hint of boredom.
"I… uhm. Selected? Well, because…" You try to sort out your thoughts realizing that they are all jumbled because of his bored and… upset face. "The President chos-"
"No. I don’t want to hear anything about the Elders or freaking President, those people don’t even think for themselves. They never have. I want to know, why you think you were selected by me?"
"Oh." You feel hot in embarrassment when he cuts you off. "I apologize-"
You can't even finish your apology when he rolls his eyes and grunts out in annoyance muttering more words underneath his breath. He exhales audibly. "It doesn't matter. Just answer.”
You stare at him for a moment, thinking about how to respond.
“Why are you here?" He goes on finding your slowness irritating.
But you decide to stay quiet because you don't want to upset him even more. He seems like a really cold person… there's no word other than jerk to describe his cold demeanor. However, you'd rather he not have any bad feelings for you, then you having bad feelings for him. So you stay silent.
"Are you deaf? I asked you a question." But he's not making it easy.
“I’m here to be a dreamer.” Your hot lips answer feeling so stupid.
"That’s not an answer to the question I asked.” Staring at you like you're below him in every aspect. He sighs. “I’m here to be a dreamer. And she doesn’t even know why she’s picked.” He mimics and scowls muttering under his breath. “Did you review your rules?" You nod your head. "Can you state them out for me."
In the moment your mind tries to organize itself to answer, but he lets out another sinking sigh.
"Damn you're so slow it's annoying." His shoulders sag as he rubs on his temple. "With me you'll have to be more fast, so come on speak already." His voice slightly raises.
"Uhm, rule number 1…”
“I can’t hear you.” He deadpans.
“I apologize-”
“Stop apologizing. It’s fucking annoying just say the damn rules already.”
Your hands tremble unconsciously. “U-uhm, rule number 1 don't lie- I mean you can lie-"
His face scrunches as he waves his hand in the air dismissing you. "You couldn't even be bothered to learn the damn rules. Do you think being a dreamer means slacking off? Do you think being dreamer is easy work? Is that why you didn’t put in any effort? You wore the clothes but don’t have single sense in your head about what this is? Are you fucking kidding me?"
"I apologize-"
"And stop fucking apologizing it's irritating-" He gets irritable quick and you're feeling so tense and hot and embarrassed. You've never left so uneasy, uncomfortable and humiliated before as he nags on. "Look. I'm going to tell you a very important fact right now," His voice deeply grunts. "I'm not going to waste my time with you if you’re not serious. Do you think you’re deserving to be a dreamer?”
“Sir I’m not too sure-”
“So why the fuck do you think you’re here?” Jaemin groans out.
“I don’t know.”
“Do you even want to be here? You’re showing no interest at all in this and it’s pissing me off. Since you walked in here you've ruined my whole mood and now after questioning you, you've shown me zero interest in being a Dreamer-"
"Sir respectfully speaking." You find yourself cutting him off with a trembling tone. "I think I want to leave. I think the elders have made a mistake in selecting me as the dreamer.”
“You want to leave? Leaving before we even get started? Wow. Leave then. You know where the door is. And don’t expect to come back tomorrow if you’re just going to be a slow nuisance.” He manages to pull off another disappointed look at you. And before he can even say another word, your fast paced footsteps lead you up the stairs and you push past the door almost running through the corridors and finally to the front door, thankfully the censor senses movements and the door opens. You run to your bike and get on it leaving.
You feel strangled and strained on your whole journey back, the tears being forced not to implore out as you ride your bike. But once you get in your house, all the compressed emotions come bawling out of your eyes as you stuff your face in your pillow crying out. You don’t know for how long you wail and weep out, you don’t even hear your mother and father knocking by your door. They enter your room in palpable worry. They look to each other and draw closer to your bed.
Your mother calls your name while sitting on the edge of your bed. “What’s the matter? I got a call from the Intelligence center that you returned home before work hours were over.”
“Mother I hate work.” Sitting up drastically and uncovering your face that’s blotched in waterworks caused by your excessive crying. Your father who’s standing behind your mother, equally looks to you with a down casted face. “I don’t ever wanna go there again.” Your shaky voice paired together with your cries has both Taeyong and Seulgi in shock.
Carefully your mother places her hand on your covered thigh. “But you’re the next Dreamer-”
“I don’t want to be a dreamer.” Your sudden blabbered shout gets the both of them in quick surprise as they take in your behavior. “I don’t wanna go there again! I don’t like it there! He’s so mean to me and I didn’t even do anything.”
“No shouting.” Your mother tries to calm you down but you shake your head getting erratic. “Young lady if you do not lower your voice this instant you will not have supper with us-”
“Please get out of my room. I don’t appreciate you guys not understanding me. Just leave and stop acting like you understand my emotions because you don’t!” You’re far too deep in your emotion to realize that you’ve just commanded and ordered your parents out of your room. But your parents too are in shock at your outburst that they allow themselves out the door as you bang the door. You get shocked by your own behavior but you get on the bed feeling so unfortunate and frustrated.
-
A light knock lands on your door causing you to sniff back as you open the door. Your father. “I apologize for yelling and being angry.”
“I accept your apology.” His tender tone makes you feel guilty for the upsurge you did this afternoon. “Would you like to come and eat?” Still with your head down you nod. “Good. Your food has gone a bit cold, but it’s still there.”
Walking out the room with your father, you come downstairs to see your brother still eating his food and your mother already finished and setting her empty tray in the center of the table. The middle of the table sinks in the tray and comes back up empty. Upon your entrance your mother sternly stares at you. You avoid eye contact as you make it to your seat. Sitting down, before even touching your tray you meekly look up to her stern and upset eyes. “I apologize for the ruckus I caused this afternoon.”
“You mean disturbance and the tantrum?” She has a deep frown on her face. You can’t even look at her. “Do you know where bad kids go if they don’t obey their parents? They get released. Immediately. Do you want to be released?” She questions sternly and you shake your head. “You have been greatly honored to carry the duty of being a Dreamer, and what do you do? You rebut.”
“I apologize mother.” You say again, sucking up your lips trying to find a way to bring up the topic in a calm manner. “Mother but I don’t-”
“I am not done talking young lady. Your distressed brother can’t even bring himself to eat because of your uproar.” She continues, making you pay attention to Chenle who still has his chopsticks in his hands but doesn’t eat.
“I apologize brother.” You speak.
He looks up with crystal eyes that would almost break. He stutters out. “I- I accept your apology.”
“I feel disappointed and upset in you Y/n.” Seulgi is vocal about her feelings towards you. “I was flabbergasted this afternoon.”
“I apologize mother.” But that only irks your voice to speak up. “But I’m also stressed and angry-”
“Precision of language.” She’s quick in correcting you. “Do you even know what anger is? You are not feeling angry; you are feeling annoyed and maybe even rebellious.”
“No I’m not. Why do you always try to correct what I’m feeling, when I myself know what I’m feeling? You don’t understand what I went through today- so how can you judge whether I’m angry or not. My mentor the dreamer is a huge jerk and-” You can hear your mother saying precision of language, while your father silently continues to eat in the tense atmosphere and Chenle about cry. “You don’t know what I’m feeling at all but you pretend to know everything. If you claim to know everything why don’t you be the dreamer. I hate it there-”
Your mother’s voice rises. “Young lady. Precision of language. And I’m warning you to lower your tone-”
There’s no way of saying this calmly anymore, as you’re already being fired up with emotions. “Mother you have the power to speak to the chiefs and elders in charge because you work as the head principals for all the schools in this community. I’m sure if you tell them about my amazing participation at the nursing center, then they can change me and put me there-”
“I will not use my position to carry out your obnoxiously spoiled behavior just because you had one bad day at work-”
“It’s not one bad day- this guy is a maniac! He’s so rude and mean!”
“How dare you speak like that about an Elder?” Your mother can’t get any more worked up then she is. This is something new she’s experiencing and Taeyong too senses the rising argument turning into something bad. He gets up and moves to Chenle helping him out his seat and leading him up the stairs to his room. He wasn’t allowed to see such waves of emotions.
“Father,” Chenle asks lowly in sorrow. “Why are mother and Y/n yelling?”
“Don’t worry Chenle. It’ll be alright. Just brush your teeth and get ready for bed. You can take your injection alone this time, while father goes to assist mother in trying to calm down your sister. Okay?”
“Okay father.” Chenle nods his head, obeying the words of his father. While Taeyong goes back down the stairs only to hear the escalation of the conversation.
A word arises in you in heaps of and you blurt it out. “No!” You complain. “It’s not fair.” Your chair falls back at you stand up abruptly.
“Precision of language!” This time Seulgi raises her voice querulously standing up as well evoking her authority over you and deep fury. How dare you talk back? Raise your voice? Say such nonsensical things? Stare her in the eye and continuously breaking and violating all rules of language. “What do you know about fairness? My decision is final and firm. You will go to work tomorrow and obey the Elder Dreamer! Do you hear me?”
“Mother-” You cry out.
“If you will not eat and continue to stand there quarrelling and arguing with me I will send you off to be re-”
“You’re so cruel!” Is your last resort of defiance to her word as you run off from the table and up the stairs. In another act of defiance, you bang the door causing everyone in the house to jolt. Chenle quickly places his wrist over the little robotic stand taking his injection so that he can sleep and not allow his mind to be filled with the worries of the house.
“That little girl has gone mad.” Seulgi storms up the stairs ready to issue you your first warning but yet Taeyong stops her.
“My wife please control yourself. You’re acting out of an unhealthy temper. Calm down please.” Taeyong places his hands gently over her shoulders. Even though touching was only allowed within family members, he still found himself agitated when holding onto his wife. He lets her go when his hands rest on for too long. She deeply breathes in and walks down the stairs to the living room. Taeyong places the other trays in the middle of the table before joining his wife on the couch. Very soon it’ll be sleep time. But he can’t sleep knowing she’s upset. He’s interrupted when the robotic podium by the door beeps.
“Please stand by for a transition.” They’re both up on their feet in an instant with beating hearts as a hologram programs itself and stands in the middle of their living room. They’re stunned to see the general suit of the President. His voice morphs out of the robotic voice into his voice. “Good evening residence of Taeyong.”
“Good evening sir.” They both bow standing straight. The hologram would only present itself in public spaces on special occasions, but seeing it in the middle of their living room they’re in shock. The president of all communities is standing right in their dwelling place. This is either bad or good. But after what happened, it’s most likely the people in Intelligence watching over the communities’ surveillance camera caught onto the argument that was happening.
“I apologize for appearing in just short notice.”
“We accept your apology.”
“It is with utmost importance that you understand everything that I will say.” President Johnny says strictly. “Your daughter has been greatly privileged in the position of being our next Dreamer. She’ll be held in the highest regards at her post. Do you know what that means? That in due time, after Jaemin will step down from his post, all elders will come to your daughter to seek advice on decision making. Including myself. She will be the one who makes the final decision regarding all 7 communities. She will oversee and be the eyes of our world. Your daughter has been selected to undergo a change in her behavior.”
The pressure is almost tangible.
“We’re well pleased with how you’ve handled her unruly emotions, however as protocol, we’ll need to punish her.” Johnny mentions, noting that their activities in the house didn’t go unnoticed by the people watching and listening over various platforms and gadgets. His plan, to lore you in and deal with you himself. Infiltrate your mind about Jaemin and hopefully have you on the president’s side.
“Pardon me President Johnny. Please don’t punish my daughter. It was just her first day and it seems that there was a misunderstanding between her and the Dreamer.” Seulgi politely inputs.
Johnny civilly smiles. “If I must explain why I have appeared here virtually, it’s to address the importance of the Dreamer’s work. It is the only Headquarters we have across all the communities, and thus it’s the only place that has no cameras, no earpieces and no way for us to check in. As elders we are blind to the things she will train about, the pain she will face, the hardship she will have to endure, however all we know is that Dreamer Na Jaemin chose her. If it were my daughter, I too would be concerned seeing her cry, but as he chose her, he saw her fit. Meaning she needs to learn to endure his prude behavior just for a little while.. After all, this is her job, this is the only thing she’s made to do. If she refuses, then we’ll have to release her. And that will be a great loss, not only for your community, but for all the communities. What a shame that will be. I can’t imagine being the parent of a child who’s failed.”
The pressure being put upon them is very much palpable. It almost feels like all the communities are depending on her to get it right. Is this really the great responsibility you’d have to carry?
“As you’ve stated that she shouldn’t be punished, I’m assuming you have a way to convince her to returning to her duty as the Dream Trainee.” Johnny says. “None the less, if she won’t be punished, then one of you will need to take her place. As I speak, there are two securities outside your door ready to take one of you or her. I truly apologize to bring such distressing news like this.”
“We accept-” Seulgi stops speaking when hearing that Taeyong isn’t saying anything. She turns to him and his face is tangled in a severe unyielding hassle.
“I’m sorry to inquire this President Suh.” Taeyong speaks up. “Is it possible for the Dreamer to choose someone else? I don’t deny the great responsibility it is to-”
“Taeyong.” Seulgi hushes him shaking her head. He merely stares at her before directing his gaze to the ground.
“She’s just a little girl. To put all that weight of pressure on her shoulders is-”
“At the ceremony we all deemed her strong. If we change her job, won’t it be unfair to all the other 20’s who might be in similar positions of not liking what job they’re in?” Even though that is highly impossible, Johnny tries to prove a point. In history of the communities, there hasn’t been a single person who has hated their post. For Taeyong to be saying that only makes Johnny understand that Jaemin most certainly provoked you. Johnny tries not to scoff aloud, at this rate Jaemin might remain the only Dreamer again. “Your daughter is not so little anymore and it’s with that behavior that we should send her into punishment now in order to confine her and-”
“No. Please don’t take her.” Seulgi speaks up quickly. Apologizing for interrupting him to which Johnny doesn’t accept the apology, causing the air to be tight. Seulgi puts an end to the visitation. “I apologize for our inadequate behavior. We will do what must be done for our community. Take me instead for her punishment. Her father-” Seulgi in hopes of keeping her family name honored stares at Taeyong. Trying to make him understand that value in society is important then whatever he was feeling for your bratty attitude. “He will talk to her.”
Johnny stares down at the two beings in firmness. Frankly speaking, aside from being president, Johnny really enjoyed making people in the community sweat with fear. It makes him feel really powerful and in control. “I accept your apology. Thank you for your time.”
The hologram turns off and a deep silence is spread throughout the room until a low knock makes itself known. “Taeyong, make sure to speak to her before curfew. We cannot be shamed.” Those are Seulgi’s last words as she makes her way to the door and following the two securities. Taeyong sighs hopelessly taking a seat on the couch. Not good.
“30 minutes to light out.” The distant robotic voice captures the attention of all residence dwellings. Taeyong gets himself up and makes his way to your room. He didn’t want to impose or force you, but it seems like he’ll have to do what must be done.
Entering your room without knocking, Taeyong finds you upright on the bed with a somber look. You already had a feeling of what he’d say. “Father please.”
“You need to be brave my daughter.” He lets out as he sits on the edge of your bed.
“I don’t wanna go back. I don’t want to be a Dreamer. Father please don’t make me go.” You cry out. “Please.” You try to subside your crying but it only turns into a tremble of hiccups. “Please father, can’t we just make a request for them to change me? I don’t want to be Dreamer. He was so mean and unfriendly. Please.”
Taeyong is feeling an overwhelming pit of hurt inside of him. He’s never felt like this before. But seeing you cry and beg only aches him to want to do something for you, but he knows he can’t. If he had the power, he would have recommended you be changed. But he’s not, and it would be unfair to the community. He puts his arms around you. You take a quick second to respond and confide in his embrace. “Father please.” You plead.
“You know,” He speaks quietly. Thinking of how to shatter you but in a light way. “Jisung is still in the nurturing center and he continues to fight for his chance to be a one. Just the same way he’s trying his best, I want you to try your best. Perhaps today was an unpleasant day, but who knows, maybe tomorrow things will be different.” He hears you crying, but he continues on with a heavy heart.
“But he makes me feel so incompetent and so stupid.” You hiccup the words out.
“So prove to him that you are not incompetent or stupid. Do your best my daughter. Because I know that you are not stupid. You are unique. There must be a reason he selected you. If he saw something in you the first time he chose you, then try your best to keep up with that image that he saw. You alone can handle this. It may be a tough journey, but I promise you my daughter, you will bring great honor to your family and for all the communities. You are worthy to lead us all, and I… believe in you.”
Precision of language. You hear in your head. But you don’t say it out loud. The word ‘believe’ has some kind of effect on you to take in what your father said. It’s better than the words of your mother. Your father believed in you, and that’s all that mattered for now. Even though you really didn’t want to go back to the Dream Headquarters, there was no other place you were put in. You were selected and it’s for that reason why all your life you felt different. Maybe it’s what Jaemin saw when he saw you. He believed that you’d be the next Dreamer. Whatever that meant.
-
Breakfast is quiet in the morning, with your mother not being present. You eat your breakfast and try to cheer Chenle up, who woke up extremely quiet. Waking up today, you felt encouraged from your fathers strengthening words. You didn’t want to wear the black clothes, but you had no choice. You picked out the dress that was buttoned down with a white shirt collar inside and tried to force a smile on your face. Giving yourself a pep talk. It worked well because you were able to cheer Chenle up… slightly.
“Father,” You ask as he leaves the door just as Chenle gets his bike ready. “Where is mother?”
Taeyong has no idea what the punishment was or when she’d be back. He simply smiles. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll be taking Chenle to school. Try and have a good day at work okay?”
You gulp. “Alright.”
You don’t see Jeno along the path and decide to ride your bike to the unfamiliar roads towards the edge. Your hands ball over the material of the dress before you sigh in and walk towards the door. “Let’s try this one more time.”
Nothing’s changed upon your arrival, you still gaze at the censor and the door opens up in a creepy way, the endless halls feel even longer today and at last upon getting to the Dreamer door, you push it open. The only thing different today is that you see the Dreamer already seated on the single couch… sipping on a little cup. You push the door quietly behind you catching his attention. His head instantly springs towards the uninvited guest. Seeing you, his nonchalant gaze doesn’t change. “You’re back.” Great, he sarcastically groans.
You take in a sharp breath, feeling like you can smell the rushing waters and the pure air around. “Rule number one. Report directly to the Dreamer, Na Jaemin for my training. After training I should return immediately to my dwelling. Rule number two. As of this moment on I’m exempted from all rules governing rudeness. I may ask questions. Rule three. Aside from my sleep injection medication, I’m not allowed to take any other form of medication. Especially for the pain. Rule number four. I may not discuss my training with anyone. Ever. And rule number five allows me to lie.”
You suck up your breath with your hands behind your back watching him with a look of determination. Perhaps your father was right and your mother too was right. Yesterday was just one bad day, and it shouldn’t be how you define Dreamer Na Jaemin.
“Dude it’s like 7 in the morning, I just woke up.” He simply stares up at you shaking his head. “A good morning would’ve done the job just fine.”
“But you said, and I quote that I should miss you with that greeting. I assume you don’t like greetings.”
He sighs. You sound chatty today. “I don’t like those manufactured greetings that everyone is obliged to do. Have some personality is what I mean.”
“Personality?”
He deeply sighs rolling his eyes, stretching his hand and signaling you to come down. This time you’re quick in rushing down the stairs with loud and rapid steps causing Jaemin to turn his head back at you in discombobulation as he watches you spiraling down the steps with quick feet. Damn. Someone’s eager today. Before he knows it, you’re already down the steps and walking towards him hastily. You stop several feet away from him. Confusion… Maybe even muddled thoughts, is what’s happening in Jaemin’s head. “And then? What the hell? Why’re you beating down on my floors like that? Fuck, do you want to break them?”
“I apolo-” You stop yourself from apologizing recalling how irritated he got when you kept apologizing. “Yesterday you told me to be fast.” You explain. “My intentions were not to break the floors. However, I made no such move to destroy your floors by walking on them.”
Jaemin sighs and rubs his head. “It’s too early for this.” He mumbles and waves his hand over to the long couch opposite him. “Take a seat. I was just having my breakfast.”
You wish to apologize for interrupting, yet your head tilts to the side in confusion when seeing him attend to his own breakfast instead of it being delivered by the table… Come to think of it, and by the looks of it, his table did not look like anything you had in your house. Instead, he’s got a tray… a little… cup. You think. You’ve never heard of a cup before. Everyone in the community used bottles. Even before you came down… your mind made reference to the cup he was drinking from. He leans forward taking a knife utensil in his hand and spreading a thick substance over bread… the bread looks a shade black and you blink twice in astonishment. Your eyes try not stare in absolute confusion or dread, but when you meet his eyes and watching as they’re already on you with an amused smirk, you lean back and sit up straight. “The community eliminated simple breakfast such as toasted bread or chocolate spreading because of allergies erupting, intolerance or even things like smell or color- which you can’t see.” Jaemin mutters.
“I apologize- I mean… I don’t apologize.” You clear your throat looking ahead and away from him as he eats his food. The things he said about allergies, smell and color… are all new to you.
He sighs and shakes his head continuing to spread ‘chocolate’ over his toast. “Give me a second to eat and I’ll get back to you.” His eyes peer at yours before he continues eating, ignoring you. Frankly speaking, he didn’t think you’d come back. With the way you cried before leaving his layer, he already deemed you as unfit and thus feeling like he made another horrible choice. However, you’re here. And he has yet to ask you why. But for now, he eats his food, as you stare back and forth to anything that catches your eye. The tree staircase. The books on the wall…
You’ve never seen so many books before. In classes, the only person who had a book was the teacher as she/he taught everyone. You and the rest of your classmates were assigned to remember and memorize the words she said by brain memory. You’ve never opened a book before or see more than one. So to see all the books on the wall has you hooked.
“You can take a look at them if you like.” Jaemin mumbles nodding to the thing that has captivated your attention the most. Your head snaps back to him politely smiling and looking back. Getting up carefully, holding onto your skirt. You walk towards the books, being careful of the floor, hearing your shoes tapping on it. Nearing the long shelf of books, your eyes with interest read over the titles on the spine. Over each shelf there’s a little metallic bar that has titles for each section. Science fiction, fiction, paranormal etc. You get drawn to a certain title that’s on the far left near the lift.
‘Reality’. Looking the books that surround the shelf, one captures your attention… ‘Dreamscape’ You carefully pull it out of its slot. It’s a hardcover and it’s black, with a heavy font title. You’ve never opened a book before, but you can already expect the type of things to be in it. For one, it should be words. Yet, for some reason, in this book… instead of words you see… pictures. Odd pictures that play with your mind and intelligence.
“That’s a good pick.” You cover the book quick turning to the side seeing Jaemin’s hands stuffed in his gown pockets as he enters the lift. “I’m going to change.” He mumbles. Soon the elevator closes and he’s out of sight. Turing around you see his breakfast still on the table. Still with the book in hand, you walk back to the table taking a seat, you look through the peculiar pictures being in awe and even amazement of what you’re seeing. Thankfully after every picture on one page, there’s a back page with the illustration of artwork.
‘Dreamscape. A noun. A realm taking place in a dream. It can be shaped and changed by skilled dreamers. A blank canvas on which dreams are formed. It can also be daydreaming deeply. It duplicates a fanatically fascinating scene as seen in a dream.’
The pictures you see are things you’ve never seen before in your entire life… yet with the longer you look… a name comes to mind. Your eyes are in pure wonder by the obscurity of the art being displayed. There’s something eerie about the pictures yet so insightful. You end up getting freaked out by the eerie similarity it has to reality. To think that these things exist is off putting. As this book is called the dreamscape, would it mean that you’ll be seeing more of these things?
Your eyes move to the table, where one color of the cup stands out to you. You place everything on the tray and pick up the tray looking for a disposable place to put it. It seems like the dreamer Na Jaemin doesn’t have any of the recent modifications to his house. Everyone has the same layout of their houses, but Jaemin’s house… or rather the Dream center doesn’t have the same things as out there. You end up not exploring the place and just leave the tray on the side of the table after cleaning up the space nicely.
“I’m gonna just kick off with where we brutally ended off yesterday.” Jaemin’s presence is brought back in the room when he strides towards the table. He notices that you’ve cleaned up the table for him. He inhales inside as he takes a seat. “But before I start, I just wanted to excuse myself for how I behaved yesterday.”
Your ears are attentive to that. “If your mood was spoiled upon my presence, then I truly apologize. I was nervous and unprepared. I took up your time and for that I apologize. I can assure you that I am a fast person and-”
“That’s not necessary.” He tightly smiles bowing his head to scratch his nape. “You caught me during a bad time. And I dare even say I’m used to being alone and seeing you in my house just threw me off guard. So when you showed up, I was already up here-” He motions with his hand as if motioning a bar. You assume he was already upset.
“I accept your apology.”
He looks like he’s about to speak again, but after hearing you he sighs and shuts his eyes. You hold onto your fingertips wondering if it’s because accepted his apology that he got upset. “Do me favor. When you’re here, try and not be… robotic.” He opens up his eyes peering deeply into your eyes. “See it like this. You’re now a Dreamer, you’ve got nothing to apologize for. Here, in this place, with me, you are free.”
“That’s a… precision of language.”
“What is?”
“Being free.” You utter lowly. “That evokes unrestricting behavior.”
He smiles at that. “Trust me. When you’re here with me, you’re free. Freedom is not what they’ve taught you. For as long as you’re here with me, everything you’ve been taught in school will soon be put to shame. So, let’s start again. Why do you think I picked you?” He prays that you’re prepared this time.
Already having prepared the answer at home, you respond accordingly. “I assume you picked me because of my excellent scores in academics. I have shown a keen understanding in almost all of our communities rules and how our world works and-”
Jaemin merely blinks staring at you. His eye twitches nonchalantly in irritation but he tries to compose himself. He can’t fathom that this is how his life is going to be from now on. You answer on as if you’re being questioned for an interview. You ramble on about the things you’ve done in your classes, projects and in all honesty they sound great, but to Jaemin he doesn’t give a damn about your achievements. So when he cuts you off, it’s because he’s tired of hearing you speak. “Your robotic voice is already doing the things it shouldn’t be doing. Tell me about the day you first noticed that you were ‘different’. That something seemed unusual in this bubble world. The day the sky turned blue, the day you fell asleep without taking your nightly dosage. I wanna hear about that. Being a dreamer is not so much about your excellence in projects, it’s more so about seeing beyond. It’s what caught my eye when I saw you.”
You nod slightly, feeling your heart beat slow down by his calm demeanor when addressing you. “Seeing beyond… would that mean seeing something that others can’t?” Jaemin nods his head. “I don’t know if I’ve seen beyond, but I can confess to seeing something in the sky… You called it blue. It’s what I saw. The sky was blue. But would this mean that you’ve been watching me all the time? Is that how you were able to tell?”
“Honestly the first time I laid my eyes on you was three days, riding your bike while looking up at the sky. I work in Intelligence, so I’m in charge mostly for the injections and serums that the community takes in order to remain ‘the same’, so I get noticed when someone doesn’t take their injection. Which is rare. But after seeing you, I noticed that your record captured that you’d often take your injection late and not at the same time as everyone.” Jaemin lets you in.
“But, President Johnny said you weren’t haste in making selecting.” What can this mean?
“I wasn’t haste. I saw your eyes.” Jaemin states, this time his eyes… doing something to you. “And I already knew. You see, the serums and injections are modified and cultivated by the Dreamers of the past to keep everyone the same. But you, aren’t the same like them. You can see beyond. Our duty as Dreamers, is to make sure we’re bound to never repeat the mistakes our descendants of the past made in destroying the world.” Jaemin gives insight, to which you’re surprised. “If you want me to be frank with you, I chose you off a hunch that you saw the blue color in the sky.”
“Color.” You say slowly…by the new word that just formed a second ago. Not only color but all sorts of new words; utensil knife, cup… These are words you’ve never known before. It looks like today Dreamer Na Jaemin seems to be willing to share something with you. “Will you be… sharing with me what color is?
For the first time, since you’ve been here, Na Jaemin displays a smile. “You’re here for one purpose. To dream beyond the infinite universe. I will transmit to you all the memories and all the dreamscapes I hold.”
You clear your throat. “I would be very interested in learning about your life,”
“No, not my life. Memories of the everything before the war.” Jaemin smirks a little. “You will learn the secret history of the world. About the past long before you were born, or even me, or even anyone in these damn communities. Generations dating back. You’ll learn everything. So, as the memories come, words you’ve never heard of before will also sparkle into your head as if you’ve always known them.”
“I’m not understanding…” You say lowly. “Memories of the world?”
“Yes, the large world we live in, not just here in our communities. There’s much more, so much beyond what we know. I received all of those when I was selected too. And here in this room all alone, I re-experienced them again and again, it’s how the wisdom comes, and how we shape our future. For example, color. These are sights to behold, that fill life with kinetic energy. You can see the color blue now, but in due time all the colors will manifest themselves. When they’ll come, instantly catch onto it’s name.” Jaemin gets up and begins to drag the glass table to the side. Once he’s done, he scoots his chair closer to you, your knees almost touching.
You feel uncomfortable by his proximity and shift backwards in your seat, creating some space again. Jaemin notices this, but doesn’t say much as he holds out his hands. “You see, no one in our community has any memories of the past. Only me. When the elders need guidance in things they’ve never experienced, I provide wisdom. Which will now be your role, using the guidance of the memories of the past. Our community thrives in avoiding anything that will lead to the disasters of the previous world we’ve left behind.”
Confused is what you are. But you don’t voice it.
“Give me your hands.”
“My hands?”
He nods his head while removing his leather black jacket and then holding out both of his hands.
You unwillingly stretch your hands to him, peering up at him … you gaze onto the palm of his hands when seeing a rectangular darkened shape right in the middle, it’s small but it’s dark enough for you to see. It’s exactly the same like yours. On the palm of your hands there’s also a rectangular shape in a shade darker. “Isn’t touching prohibited?”
“With me it’s not.” He takes your hands in his and you shiver just by how cold his are. Jaemin feels your soft hands tilting his head to the side when gazing at your nervous ones. “In anyway, if this hurts, let me know.”
“What are you gonna do?”
“I’ll open your mind.” Holding your hands firmly by aligning the rectangular shapes onto each other instantly as if being in a trance you fall unconscious blacking out.
At first it’s just darkness like sleep as you see nothing. The blackness soon fades, leaving little flickering lights coming clear to your vision. Next thing you know, you can’t feel Jaemin’s hands anymore… but it’s like you’re transported to some other place. And then that’s when you feel it. The sound hits your ears first, before you feel the pressure of the wind against your face. Your eyes follow on as you flatter them to open. Instantly your view is engulfed by the optical sight of wonder. Your eyes enlarge… the skies, the clouds passing by rapidly as you’re on some sort of carriage, vehicle.
The odd word comes in your head. There’s no roof and you seem to be navigating it. Your hands are on a circular object, you turn it lightly and it causes you to shift the vehicle to another lane. You’re in awe the shades and hues of… color as they bounce out of the black and grey and turn into… colors you’ve never seen before… At first you see blue first, on the skies… and then on the grass, a bright refreshing pop spreads all over into…green… you think. Not only that, you notice your hands as a shade brightens your skin, the wheel of the vehicle and eventually also the car itself spreads into a color that you can’t really tell… or catch onto the word.
Instead of wondering about the color, your ears get engulfed by the wind, it swirls in your ears whooshing past your hair and tingles your skin. The speed of the vehicle increases when you press down on something. With the road narrow and endless, you smile as you look out the window of the vehicle enjoying the sights of everything…
Until-
You’re jolted awake briskly snapping your eyes open! “What was that?!” You hastily pull your hands away from Jaemin backing up in fright as you stand and look around, your back hits the floor to ceiling wall window and you rapidly turn around. You can’t even follow the sight of the waterfall, because your eyes are trapped on the sudden… colors forming over the landscape that was once grey… the waterfall has shades of blue as it continues endlessly down, while the scenery of grass and trees and shrubs dealing downwards turn… green. Despite your eyes being open your mind is transported back to that memory of the vehicle you were in… “Car.” You turn around in disbelief shock, as your hands reenact the scene of how you were driving the… car. “It’s a car…”
Jaemin is shocked that you catch onto the names fast. He wasn’t expecting for you to get it that quick. He hums out in understanding… so this is what happens when he’s with a real dreamer… and not when he tries to force someone to be a dreamer. “Yeah, that was a car. It took me a while to get it, but you got it on your first try. Good job”
“What is it though?” You ask curiously (subtly remembering that he just complemented you) walking back to the chair and taking a seat keenly leaning in to hear what Jaemin has to say. “That car, why don’t we have it anymore? It was… extraordinary.” You’re speechless but the enlarged smile on your face has Jaemin lightly smiling for a bit.
“Well, for starters, cars ran on engine and fuel which sometimes would pollute the air. Bad gas in the air caused harm to the earth and different lands harboring crops. Alternative solutions were made to reduce air pollution, such as the car running on battery instead of gas, but with that also came complications of its own. One problem leading to another problem.” Your ears take in all this new information of the foreign thing you were on minutes ago. You listen well, as Jaemin explains. “But for now, I don’t want you to pay mind to why we don’t have it. I want you to… use your senses, to live in the dreamscape, to feel, touch, taste, see, hear, experience all these things. Here, let’s do another one.”
Eagerly you lean close and place your hands out. Jaemin keenly blinks, already knowing that the dreamscape is your favorite activity.
This time you close your eyes eagerly waiting for Jaemin to hold onto your hands. And he does so, his manly rough hands don’t hold you too tight, but his grip is firm enough that this time you literally feel… it may sound odd, but you literally feel your skin merging into his.
Meanwhile Jaemin too shuts his eyes as he inhales deeply deciding to give you another type of dreamscape memory vision of another type of vehicle. It’s like transferring his conscious into yours as you receive the vision, as your hands unconsciously hold his grip tighter… not wanting to let the scene pass you by. Unlike the previous dreamscape vision memory which was a… car in a large field and endless road, in this scene, you shiver lightly and watch as your breath creates a visible air. You notice that you’ve got on such a huge jacket as well as warm pants and… gloves. The odd word forms in your head. There’s something on your head too, protecting you from the temperature drop. A beanie. You rub your hands as your eyes watch in pure innocence at the sight of little whites falling from the sky and landing on the ground. This time the sky is not blue but it’s murky grey and white, the ground is also white and with every step you take, you see your footprints being left behind.
Being interested in something far into the distance, you trudge towards it feeling the ground being a lot heavy as your steps sips into the floor. You get to the weird item on the floor. It’s wooden, shaped in a rectangular manner and has handles. Seemingly already knowing what to do, you get on it holding onto its handle and then… all of a sudden your eyes enlarge as the wooden craft moves along and slides off the white floor… which is a mountain. Holding tightly onto the rope handles, your mouth opens wide in pure delight feeling your cheeks get frozen, yet the beam on your face replaces the cold.
You’re back with a jolt looking around being saddened that it ended all too quickly. “What was that?”
“The dreamscape comes with a name, go ahead,”
You try to think hard, trying to know what you were on. Letting go of Jaemin’s hands you move to the floor and kneel on one knee while lifting your arms up pretending to hold onto the ropes again as you think. Not even a second passes when your curious eyes open up again. “A sleigh. Sledge. Right?”
Jaemin nods his head being content that you’re catching on quick.
“But why would they want to remove that? It was so fun-” You rapidly stand up in pure confusion of why something so fun was removed, but then you recall the whites… “There was something else. The ground and air were different,” You open your palm looking up to the ceiling remembering how it feel down.
“Snow.” Jaemin assists you.
“Snow.” You repeat and bite your lip holding onto your cheek as you recall how cold it was. “I was wearing so many coats and my shoes were large. Did my parents have snow? Did you?”
“No, no.” Jaemin shakes his head leaning back on his chair. “It’s a very distant dreamscape. That weather is known as winter. Here in the community, you’ll soon notice that the air and humidity is boxed in a level cool stratosphere. Each community has it’s open bubble. Not too hot and not too cold.”
“Oh, would that explain all those clouds on the edge?”
Jaemin nods his head. “Yes. The ‘mist’ on the edge is the barrier between the communities. Anyway, back to the dreamscape, we don’t have snow anymore because of climate control,”
“But, why don’t the people know about this?” You shake your head, taking a seat again as you think of all the communities in ‘bubbles’. “What’s so dangerous about the dreamscape, or memory of the sledge?”
“What’s dangerous?” Jaemin pretends to wonder but then shrugs his shoulders. “For a sledge you need snow. Snow is cold. The cold destroys crops. Which meant that farmers couldn’t farm. But to ride the sledge you’d need to be on a mountain. Unpredictable weather tagged with hills and mountains was dangerous altogether, made it difficult to transport food. Transportation used trucks, trucks are large vehicles, bigger then cars. If the truck slipped then fire would erupt destroying not only the crops but the truck and the person in it. The list goes on hunger, starvation, famine. With good, also comes the bad. In the previous world there was no balance, as mother nature also did what it wanted. But with the communities, we’ve created balance.”
“But sure some things can be prevented. In the communities, we don't even make our own food, so to eliminate some things is just unfair,” You reach out your hands. "Show me more."
This time Jaemin takes a look at them before looking back into your amazed eyes. “Let’s go for a walk.”
You draw closer reaching your hands out to him, causing him to smirk. “A real one. With those two transportation parts that you call legs.” He lowly chuckles, getting up from his seat. You follow right next to him, taking notice of his height and long legs. You try to keep up. He begins to go up the stairs and you follow him until you catch onto another color.
“The sleigh was that color.” You point out onto a book that seems to stand out of the other grey books. But upon looking at the wall of books again, you’re surprised when colors like green and blue are on some spines of the books. “Come to think of it, also the car was this color.”
Jaemin’s eyes peer to the book you’re pointing at. “Red. For your information, the car you rode was a convertible with a hood down. Expensive car. We’ll come back later and then I’ll explain what it is that I want from you.”
“Okay.”
The walk with The Dreamer Na Jaemin is very interesting. It’s like your eyes are opened for the first time, as your eyes marvel to the sudden pop and revelation of color… red, blue and green. Not only that, you also see fades of the color on people’s clothes. For one you and Jaemin are wearing black, everyone in the community is supposed to wearing white, however you see lighter shades of red, blue and green on them. “Dreamer,”
“You can call me Jaemin.”
“Oh,” You nod your head. Being stunned for a second that he's actually kind of… humanly generous. “Jaemin. I wanted to ask, how many colors are there?”
“Many. Pink, orange, yellow, purple, red, green, blue and more.” Jaemin nods his head. “You’ll see them all in time. But our community or rather the previous Dreamers chose to do away with all that. Race, religion, colors.”
You have yet to ask what race and religion mean, but you slightly get upset at all the wondrous things being taken away. “But why? Color is beautiful, can you see them all?”
“Yes,” Jaemin sighs. “I try to dye my hair with all the colors, hoping that one day someone might notice something.” But nobody ever does. Here in the communities, aside from the pastel colors of sameness, there was nothing really to admire, which is why Jaemin liked to sit in his headquarters, because he’d fill it up with so many colors, make the room come alive. For example while his headquarters had lively colors bursting out, here in the community Jaemin would watch at how workers would install fake branches on a prototype steam to create an illusion of a tree… only problem was that the tree wasn’t it’s actual color. It was a grey brown, but in the community the people would see grey, and the leaves were a white green, but the community would see white. Everything nature would bloom would be cut out and here in the community everything would be remade plastic. Even the grass has a way of looking real but not being real. Jaemin turns to you, your upset face really gets him remembering how he also felt when his Dreamer… Moon Taeil, would explain why a lot of the things were removed. And not mention Jaemin also helped in removing many things. “They created sameness. Because if we were different, it would lead to people being envious, angry, resentful, consumed with hatred. We need sameness.” Jaemin concludes. “What do you think?”
After his response, you kind of agree to the benefits of sameness because your everyday life was filled with sameness. But now, as your eyes take note of the pastel colors, you wonder if really it would be so wrong. “I agree that we need sameness.” Jaemin hums while stuffing his hands in his leather pocket.
You both stroll on the paved ground, while you notice new things, Jaemin's eyes move around the stillness of the community, of the people walking like mindless clones of each other. He hates leaving his headquarters and walking around, because he always gets upset at the reality that everyone is living.
Being a dreamer, means living with a world that exists only in dreams. There’s nothing that he craves for outside of his dreams, because this reality has nothing for him to live for. So as you chatter about how differences should be put back and it making people individual, he’s mindlessly in his own head eyes fixed on nothing but his own thoughts.
You stop speaking when noticing that he isn’t answering to your questions. “Dreamer?”
Nothing.
Wanting his attention on you, and not knowing how else to get it, you stop right in front of him- but you’re surprised that he literally bumps into you- instantly blinking his eyes and looking down at you. “I apologize- I mean sorry.” You instantly say, seeing that indeed he’s not even focusing on where he walks. “You zoned out.”
He inhales and exhales smiling a bit. “It happens.”
“I want to ask something. The Dreamscape…” You begin as you look up to him. He folds his arms nodding his head. “How… How does it happen? How are you able to… make me see it, and feel and hear and just… be in it?”
“Nicely.” He smiles, and your eyes are fixated on his teeth, his got a pretty smile. This is the first time he’s smiling. He breathes in deeply and peers his eyes around. “Shall we sit?”
“But there’s no bench around,”
Jaemin begins to remove his leather jacket and moves underneath a tree. You follow behind him curiously, wondering why he’s going down on his knees and placing his jacket on the ground. You’re even more surprised when he actually sits down on the floor and pats his leather jacket. “You can sit here,”
“On the floor?” Your eyes enlarge. It’s only your second day, but so far all the things he’s shown you and said, is such a great taboo… So of of course sitting on the floor is natural for him. You timidly but quickly follow and sit on top of his leather jacket as he nods his head. He’s got his back against the tree with his knees arched and his arms around it. You simply tuck your legs underneath your body sitting next to him also facing forward. “Why are we sitting on the floor?”
“Back then, sitting on the ground, or rather on the grass was known as a leisurely activity. Others would have picnics and gather around and spend time with each other while admiring the view and beauty of nature.” You try to picture what he says, but the scene already is so bizarre. People sitting on the floor… for fun? You can feel just how everyone else is feeling, especially when other people walk on the sidewalk and glance towards you and Jaemin like you’re weird. No one else is on the grass, and the gardeners can only glance in confusion before continuing their work of installing fake trees. “This isn’t even a real tree. It’s designed like one, but if you look at it… it can’t compare to the ones back then.”
Your eyes go on the tree… and you see nothing unusual about it. It has a cylinder circumference and has leaves on it. “How else is a tree supposed to look? Because I can assure you the tree in your headquarters is a lot weirder.” You question.
Jaemin smirks and holds out his hand nudging it in your direction. “Take my hand,”
“People are around?”
“So?” He chuckles softly. “Just hold it, I’m your trainer I wouldn’t do anything that’s not of your interest.”
“Really? Because rule number 5 says you’re allowed to lie.” You state. “Does that mean you lie?”
“For personal amusements, yes. To you though,” Jaemin shakes his head, his eyes literally peering into yours, making you feel… self-consciously aware of your feelings, as you feel air bumbling in your stomach. “I won’t lie.”
Without saying anymore, you place your hand in his and as he closes his eyes, your own vision blacks out, blocking out your real world senses and instantly being transported to a vibrant place.
The first thing you feel, even before you open your eyes, is the warmth all around you, almost like a heat so palpable. Your eyes flatter open and you look up to the sky trying to adjust to all the light pouring in place. The sun rests high on the sky… you can’t tell what color it is, but with the way it emits its warmth over you, has you grinning. You navigate your gaze back to the lower level immediately being immersed by so much- you don't know what to describe first. Grass so green sprinkled with little white flowers… or the fact that the vastly large field is so great and wide that it encompasses so many people… or even the fact that there's so much life spread around the field. People in different clothes and body sizes. People; sitting on little blankets either in pairs or groups and even alone, or others sitting directly on the grass reading over books, some even lay on the grass. Taking in the scenery around you, your ears are filled with the sounds of laughter and joyous chatter and even a serene peace.
Your eyes are taken to a red carriage as a woman pushes it. She's got on a beautiful dress. You can't tell its color but you know that she feels so comfortable in it. She brings out a little blanket and spreads it over the grass before placing a basket on it. Next she brings out the baby from the carriage and showers the child with so much affection that your own eyes widen. How can she display that in public? Her smile is so large as the baby wiggles in her arms. She cradles the baby as she sits on top of the blanket. Three young boys walk up to the blanket carrying several of things and they place it down, one boy instantly brings out this weird almost slopping bread and eats it with a wide mouth. Another boy… gets out an oddly shaped object and directs it towards the other boy who's not even paying attention. He does something to the object and out squirts water. You jolt when seeing the spring shower of water come out of it. It causes the other boy to be wet.
He audibly laughs before bringing out his own object and out of it also comes water. The both of them are chasing each other across the field while the boy eating pizza stays close to the woman… probably his mother.
"Come and sit,"
Hearing the voice from behind you, you spin your head around only to notice Jaemin… Your eyes enlarge so much when noticing the shadow first on the ground and then the roots spiritling out the ground and morphing tall and high around a large bark… it stretches meters high and large and with so many branches sprawls out leaves… "A tree…" You marvel at it.
Jaemin smiles, watching you being fascinated by the sight. "Told you it's not the same," He says as you draw close and near to him.. Your eyes are solely focused on the tree… getting close to it, your hand spreads out and lands on the oak. Feeling it's texture underneath your skin, your breath is stolen yet again when another color begins to manifest.
"Br… Brown?" You look down to Jaemin who nods his head. You turn around and the of course the new color brown begins to highlight certain people, objects. You smile and take a seat next to Jaemin… But noticing your own clothes. You jump back seeing all your legs being revealed. Your arms cross over to hide the exposure however you notice the denim shorts you're wearing. With socks around your ankles and a simple shirt tucked in, you look to Jaemin, only seeing him in his usual black clothes… but his body proportions are a bit toned in size, such his muscles. "What am I wearing?"
Jaemin chuckles and pats the spot next to him, over the blanket. "Those would be clothes."
His one answer has you launching out so many more questions to him. Jaemin lets you ask away as you lose your mind in delight about how this exists and why don't we have it anymore, about the people, the clothes, the grass and tree and sun- you even question his smile and biceps!
"What? You don't like seeing me smile?” Jaemin questions jokingly. “And how can you not like my biceps? I worked hard on these,” He flexes his muscles- which you respond by laughing nervously… You don’t know how to react as he continues to pump up the veins over his muscles.
“No!” You get flattered holding your hand out and shaking your head. “No, I mean, you can have your muscles and smile. It’s just…” It’s weird. You think to yourself. A day ago, he was the enemy, and you had prepared yourself to dislike him but now… he’s smiling.
“Starting off, you asked how is all this able to happen,” He sighs before crossing his legs and leaning on the palm of his hand. “This is a dreamscape. A dreamscape is a place where reality has been stripped away, leaving only the illusion of it. An illusion. So all this, is like living inside of a dream.”
“What’s a dream?”
“Normally, when you sleep, you’re supposed to get dreams. Dreams… Dreams are like reality, only except it’s created in your head. Your mind creates visuals, imaginations that go beyond our world. Same with a dreamscape like this, it has all the same qualities of the real world, but just more. These are real things that have happened, to someone who’s had this memory. I’m just transmitting it to you.” Jaemin somberly smiles before his eyes turn a bit distraught. “It’s beautiful isn’t it?”
Your heart pumps fast as you find yourself asking after a while. “It is. If this was all real once, why did the Dreamers remove it?”
“Sameness is sickening, but the past Dreamers were convinced that we needed sameness, and so here we have it.” He says. “The burden of a dreamer is removing little things from the real world because of the harm they can do. Dreamers live with all these dreamscapes and memories with no one to share them with. The people in here seem real, but they’ve long passed. All this is a memory. It can kind of make you feel lonely.” He vulnerably answers quietly. “I’ve only been a dreamer for 4 years, and I'm guilty of also contributing to removing things from our boxed up world."
"Why?"
"People take advantage of the little." Jaemin recalls Johnny. "So why allow it to remain and slowly turn ugly? Its not like a do it because I want to. I read the signs fast and act on it. It burdens me when I do it, because then I'll be the only one with the memory of it, but I know it's for the greater good of the community.”
“Greater good? I've never understood why there's one Dreamer, but surely keeping all that to yourself isn't healthy, it's… it can be depressing. Now that I’m a Dreamer you can share that loneliness with me.” Jaemin simply nods his head. “So for how long did he you train and how long do you expect me to train so that I can understand why you and the previous dreamers removed things?”
“Well for starters, I don’t intend on rushing anything with you. Like President Johnny said, we can’t afford another failure.” Jaemin sighs and closes his eyes feeling the wind pass him, your eyes watching how his hair flows with the wind. “It takes 2 years to train a dreamer fully, but Dreamer Taeil trained me in under a year before he died.”
“What’s died?” Your eyes enlarge by the new word. “And what do you mean, you can’t afford another failure?”
“He kicked the bucket. He was released to elsewhere. As for the failure dreamer. Before you, in another community there was another selected Dreamer. Let’s just say, the president didn’t really approve of him being a dreamer and wanted me to work longer.” Jaemin speaks in generic terms. “Anyway, our job as dreamers is to hold onto memories and dreams and give guidance to the Neorists, not try and create rebellion or make things harder for everyone. Let’s take a trip down memory lane-” Jaemin stops his speech when seeing you put out your hands, but that has him smiling coyly. “I mean with my words.”
“Oh.” You retreat your hands looking bummed but still eager to hear.
“They lied to you." Jaemin starts off already breaking the ice. “Each community has a large surface area being enclosed by this bubble high up in the sky, it manages the weather, controls the air, and if need to be done can control the people. Your teachers were taught a lie, and thus taught a mass number of students lies. Everyone here has believed in a lie and made that lie a truth.”
“What lie did they believe?”
"That sameness is the answer." He leans forward his shoulders hunching. “We’re trapped in a bubble. Forced to start afresh every damn damn time something goes wrong. Like new born babies. The bubble keeping us in pours ignorance in the air. Making everyone to not only forget, but to remain indifferent.”
“Why?”
“Why we’re trapped or why we’re ignorant?” He smirks, but doesn’t find it funny. “Well to answer both, we’re trapped because the world outside this bubble is infected with a disease so strong it can kill you just by breathing it in. And we’re ignorant inside this bubble so that we don’t cause panic amongst everyone. Tell me, would you say our community is perfect?”
“Yes it is.”
“Why?” He follows up.
At this point, from birth it’s already been engraved into your system. “Our communities have no sicknesses, no fear, no pain, no envy, no hate, no troubles. Everyone has enough, nothing more and nothing less. We can all survive peacefully. And not like the times during the war.” You nod your head.
Jaemin nods his head almost sardonically- sarcastically getting you to stop instantly. “At this point its mere head knowledge, why would I ask. You’re right. This community is perfect. We’ve cured diseases such as cancer, diabetes, corna, and so many more viruses too.” You’re confused at the weird words he’s saying. Were those diseases of the past? “Everyone in the community thinks and acts the same because of the serum injections. All the tasks here in this community are done manually and the people do routine tasks on the clock for the rest of their lives. We’re just lifeless humans. Just moving and advancing the community. I can say we’re trapped, but the community would say otherwise. The people in here don’t know what’s out there. They just know that the world outside is places that have never recovered from the war. They make us repeat over and over that we’re lucky to be here in the communities, and to some extent, I agree. But really, if the people knew what’s out there they would lament just as we Dreamers do, but one brave Dreamer saw that it wasn’t fair for everyone to be sad so he allowed for only one Dreamer at a time to carry all the burdens and joys of this earth. And made everyone believe that there’s nothing out there for us that we're better inside. My only problem is how, I have to live with the pain of carrying all these isolated memories. The community, they have never known pain.” He thinks. The realization makes him feel desperately lonely. “But there’s nothing left to do but continue and not allow them to feel pain.”
“Honestly. I can’t lie.” You shake your head. “The truth is, with the little you’ve shown me, all I want to do is show others.”
"I know it's tempting." Jaemin looks to you. “I’m able to transmit to you these dreamscapes through the palm of my hands. These rectangles in the palm of our hands, is what makes you and I different from everyone else in the community. Without this, they can’t see what we see.”
“But why? How?”
“They’re known as birthmarks. It’s like this, once you look up to the sky, and see something odd it immediately does something to your body. You get this.” He opens the palm of his hand showing his own rectangle birthmark. “Everybody can look up to the sky, and all of them miss out on that one thing that changes everything. It’s the first time you break the bubble with your eyes and see the sky, and see the color blue.”
Again, the memory comes to you, of the first time you noticed the sky changing in hue… in color. In blue.
“What’s believed to happen is that, Dreamers are crying babies.”
“Crying baby?”
Jaemin nods his head. “Fate. From the moment you’re born in this community, you breathe in the toxic air to forget. You’re then brought up in a way that shapes and molds you to the communities needs and wants. But as fate has it, there’s always 1 crying baby. Every 10 years I can say 1 crying baby is born. That crying baby is already fated to be the next Dreamer. It’s just fate. Some of the past Dreamers would usually just keep the memories to themselves for a very long time until their death clock would strike at the age of 70 some even 90. But others, saw it fit to give up being a Dreamer and let someone else carry the burden.”
Your mind wanders off to the Nurturing Center, to that one crying baby. “Dreamer Na but you've only been a dreamer for 4 years.” You pause and look at him. “Why are you giving all this to me?"
Jaemin bites his lip looking away from you. After all that's happened in the accounts of him being a dreamer, he doesn't want to be the one carrying all of this nonsense. Life made no sense. "I'm not strong enough."
"And who decided that?" You question, causing Jaemin to look back at you with a strange look. "Dreamer Na. The communities can benefit from your knowledge too."
"It's not that simple. I don't possess all that courage. I get angry easily and I give in too easily. Those in power have driven me insane. Giving them one innocent dreamscape has them slowly turning it into a burden. It only takes one person to ruin the good in something so beautiful."
"And you think I am?"
He breathes in turning to you. “I’ll be truthful with you, seeing you yesterday, as my replacer, really pissed me off because… you looked like a mindless robot, like someone who'll put up with their crap. It seems like I’m wrong, you're more strong then me. I mean, the fact that you're back after yesterday shows that you have patience.” Jaemin leans his back on the tree. “Being a Dreamer is not just carrying the memories. It’s having wisdom and knowledge of seeing far beyond to protect the interests of the community. And not allow the community to take advantage of you and cause a downfall. I feel like I've sent the community in that path, and I want to rectify it before it's too late. And so far, you’re on the right path but you don’t seem to understand what’s so bad about releasing all this to the public. We’d need to work on that, but otherwise I'm confident that you, once I’m done giving you all the dreamscapes, all the memories that I poses, you’ll be the Official Neorists Elder Dreamer of all the communities and then you can see the corrupt power and change it.”
“And what about you?” You question.
“I want to be released.” He admits. “I can’t keep living in this life, with only dreams and no sense of purpose. I don’t want to be in a box anymore.”
Your ears are sharp in catching the things he’s saying. Yes you thought of him as the enemy, but hearing how he wants to be released it’s… not something you wish- especially if he can also help you to give the communities all these dreamscapes. “You’ve said, so many words that I couldn’t understand… So many words I don’t know, so many things I could hardly process, but in everything you’ve said, you’ve shown me so far a mindset that's trapped.” His head slowly turns to you, looking into your eyes. You look to the side, the people, the area, the sun, the air, life… “Dreamer do they look like they’re trapped? If the world was like this… I want to bring it back. Not be… trapped. I want to wake up and make choices for myself not follow a routine schedule. I want to drive in a car, feel the weather, eat whatever those kids are eating.” You try to think of words to describe this feeling bubbling inside of you… “This dreamscape should be something joyous not burdening, hearing that you want to be released is something my conscious can’t square up. I admit I didn’t like you yesterday, but today I want you to be part of the new world we as dreamers can show to the community. I don’t know anything, but from this little, my whole heart just wants to be free.”
Jaemin is completely awestruck in wonder by everything you’ve just said. You called him weak in 3 different tones.
“So, Dreamer Jaemin, I want to learn, teach me, show me more. Show me the way.” Your iris, Jaemin can see the color of your soul. A burning flame, a little flame that has been lit and will soon turn into a blazing fire- raging against everything in its way. Your unhinged soul that just breaks free and wants more. He can see your heart and eager desire to just break that box. He can see how you look like you’re so ready to get out of this box.
And he has to admit, he's kind of wishing he didn't give up so easily.
-
“Modern Day Terminology Of Slang.” You read out as you sit on the side of your bed. Opening up the cover of your book, you begin to read out in privilege to have all the knowledge of the world. After Jaemin brought you back to reality, he took you back to his headquarter whereby he gave you a book to read. He asked you to be equipped in your language and speech. As you learn new words, you will be able to use them and understand them.
You were ready to learn. You were ready to do whatever it would take, to break free from the ignorance that you were put in.
Your eyebrows knit in confusion when you hear a soft wailing sound. A cry. You tilt your head to the door and see footsteps flicker underneath your door and out of sight. That’s Chenle walking. You get up as well following the sounds of the cry that get louder when you open up your bedroom door.
“Wow, is that a year 1!” Chenle marvels.
“I’m sorry Taeyong, but I tried everything I could.” Getting down the steps you see a nurse holding up a little carriage with a wailing baby inside standing by the door. “But no matter what I do, he keeps crying. Plus you said you’d look after him.”
“Hey there,” Taeyong says softly before running his hand down the baby’s face, and the baby coo’s lightly. “Are all his things inside?”
“Yes.” The nurse hums. “I apologize for the inconvenience.”
“I accept your apology. Thank you.” Taeyong says, as he bids a light smile to his coworker and then shutting the door.
Your eyes glance at the baby. “Is that Jisung?”
“How do you know the child’s name?” Your mother Seulgi looks to you before facing Taeyong. “The poor baby crying on his first year? That’s sad.”
“Unusual too.” Taeyong hums as he brings the hand held cubic carriage to the living room. “Y/n met Jisung the other day at the nursing center. He cried there too.”
“You want to keep this baby?” Seulgi stares into Taeyong’s eyes with worry and concern, and that alarms Taeyong.
“Would you like to issue me a warning? I assure you, that he’s not trouble when he’s quiet. It’s just for a little while. Till the little guy catches up.”
Drawing closer to the baby, as Chenle yaps on about how the baby is cute and how the baby should sleep in his room, your eyes remain on Jisung’s hands. You only see it a little, but it’s enough to tell you that you have the same mark as him. Your eyes widen slightly as you lean in close to him, while your father pats his head.
“If the elders agree, then he can sleep in your room.” Your mother says to Chenle.
“Attention. Please stand by for dinner.” Your eyes drone out the robotic voice announcing dinner time, your full attention on the little baby who’s quiet underneath your father’s touch. You almost don’t need to see his birthmark to know, you can feel it. After everything that Jaemin said today, there is no doubt in your mind, that Jisung too, one day, he’ll be selected to be a Dreamer… until then you have to make sure to keep the dreamscape and it’s memories alive, so that you can transmit it to everyone.
Getting to the dining table, you remove the lid of the tray and begin eating just as everyone does, in silence. A while later, your father begins the conversation by asking everyone about their feelings for the day, asking to go last so that he can share some good news.
“So how was it?” Your mother curiously asks peeking at you after sharing her own feelings. “What feelings can you share with us tonight?”
You finish chewing your vegetables and nod your head. “It was good. I felt happy.”
“That’s a relief.” She smiles, causing you to smile as well. Yesterday night was a rough night for everyone. Tension so high. However tonight, it’s peaceful. With baby Jisung sleeping in his carriage, Chenle eating loudly, your mother Seulgi being back despite not being here in the morning, and your father Taeyong with a good news announcement to make.
“What did you do?” Taeyong asks.
Your eyes instantly recall Jaemin’s smile. He’s got such a striking smile. It’s a shame he doesn’t smile often. It’s a shame he wants to be released. “We just talked.”
“What else?” This time Chenle asks, also in wonder of what his big sister does.
Your eyes snap out of Jaemin’s sad smile as you meekly glance at Chenle with a timid smile. “That’s it.”
“You seem different today.” Seulgi notes.
“How so?” You ask and look at her.
“You’re smiling, and you’re not complaining about your trainer.”
You smile and look to your food again. “Well things changed. He’s not so bad of a guy. Not like the way I painted him out to be.”
“I’m happy to hear that.” Your mother Seulgi is peaceful by your statement. After last night and her taking the punishment for you, she wasn’t prepared to go back to that… place of isolation. “That leaves you my husband,” Seulgi smiles softly in the direction of Taeyong. “What is the big news you want to share with us, and how are you feeling?”
“Well,” Taeyong wipes off his hands once he’s done eating and placing his tray in the center. A wide grin grows on his face. “I have been promoted to being the Director of The Givers in the nursing center.”
“Amazing.”
“Wow.”
Everyone on the table cheers on in joy for your father. “Thank you, family. I’ll now be in control of the father givers and birth mothers. My tasks include tracking, reporting and documenting the procedures of the mating process. Submitting report backs to other communities and receiving information for the delivery room.”
“Well done my husband, you are now of high esteem in society.” Your mother proudly acknowledges your father.
“I can’t wait to grow up.” Chenle cheers on. “I want an awesome job like you all.”
After dinner, you get in your room and read on a few more chapter not even noticing that the time has gone past your sleep time. You enjoy reading so much, finding the book so interesting, filled with words you don’t know but yet provide a definition to those words. It’s almost like a dictionary, but this time with words not on the normal dictionary. Hours pass, and you’re surprised when a yawn leaves your mouth. Immediately you glance at the clock seeing it’s way past your bed time. It’s 11 p.m. You shut your book after reading one last passage, before you ‘dive’ on the bed… a slang term you just learnt. Before you can inject yourself to sleep, you find yourself slowly drifting off… by yourself.
And… it feels strange. It’s like you’re spiraling round and round in a trance, just like the one Jaemin does when he’s about to show you a dreamscape. You get surprised, when you find yourself opening up your eyes to a scenery so familiar… the green field. However this time, you’re all alone on it surrounded by large oak trees and flowers of different shapes and sizes and even colors- you especially like the red flowers… roses.
Your body is suddenly awakened when you hear a knock on your door. It’s already morning. Did you just… have a dream?
You’re greeted by your father who gifts you a box. “On the third day of your new work, all 20’s receive this. It’s known as an alarm clock. If you set it up it’ll ring in the morning, and it’ll wake you up. Instead of me always waking you up.”
You smile bringing out your new gift. You try to examine it’s color… but all you get is white and grey. The color is not yet unlocked. You get ready and dress up in white socks and the long sleeved black dress that ends above your knees.
“Jeno!” You greet happily upon leaving your house. “It’s been forever since I last saw you,”
“Precision of language.” Jeno snickers. “Forever hasn’t even yet happened. I think you mean, it’s been 1 day without me.”
“Oh,” The slangs you learnt last night, are rubbing off on you. Feeling embarrassed a little, you shake it off. “Yes.”
“Hey look, we’re almost matching.” Jeno notes to his own polo neck and your dress polo neck. Getting on your bike, you and Jeno both ride alongside each other. He tells you about his first and second day. Of course all the nurses love him and he is carrying out his duties well. “What about you? How has being a dreamer been so far?”
You’re reminded that you can’t share anything about your training, but that doesn’t stop you from telling Jeno little things. “At first I considered my Dreamer trainer to be a bit of a handful,”
Jeno peeks at you, bringing out his hand. “Did you just say h-handful? Precision of language.”
You giggle. “Trust me Jeno, there’s going to be so much precision of language with me.”
“Glad you’re enjoying yourself. So what does it mean?”
“It means he was obnoxious.” You deeply inhale and exhale. “But yesterday, we got on well. I can’t wait to see what we’ll do today.”
“That’s good.” Jeno smiles. “Did you hear about the new serum injection that we’ll start taking?”
“No.” You shake your head. “I’m not allowed to take serum injections anymore, only my sleep injection.”
“Oh.” Jeno looks to you with wide eyes. “Well this serum injection is said to be made by the president himself.”
“Oh. Interesting.” you think to what Jaemin said about those in power. And so when arriving, you’re met with Jaemin eating his breakfast. You make your way in brightly greeting him as you sit on the long couch and read your book. Jaemin puts his tray away before going to dress up. Jaemin must admit, he thought you’d be annoying, but your presence in his house does him some good. He puts on his usual clothes before heading back upstairs. Upon arriving, you ready yourself to learn and receive something new.
“Today, I’m going to touch you a bit differently.” Jaemin says rubbing hands together before stretching them. “You showed a passion for learning yesterday, and I thought about your lessons very thoroughly. I made a timeline of what I’d like to teach you, what you should know and everything else in between. This training will involve a lot of studying from your end. I’ll be giving you a book every week, so try your best to read fast. If the books are bit bigger you’ll get two or three weeks to read. Our lessons will be divided in two. First half will be transferring of memories, and second half will be discussion and theory.” Jaemin gives you a brief of everything you will be doing for the next coming of days, weeks and months.
“I can’t wait,” You eagerly smile nodding your head.
“Alright, so let’s start with today’s lesson.” He claps his hands getting up from his seat. “For this to work, I’ll need your whole body to be attentive to me. Do you think you can do that?”
“How?” You ask.
“Lay your back on the couch, and your head on the armrest. Pretend like you’re lying on your bed.” You nod your head and follow his words. Removing your shoes remaining in your socks, you lean back and lay on the couch. Your head over the armrest and body firmly straight over the couch. You place your arms over your stomach and watch him draw near to your head. Watching his face upside down, he tells you to relax before placing his palms over the sides of your head, giving you a dreamscape.
That’s how the days’ progress.
With you coming in every single day and resting on the couch as he touches you to make you enter the dreamscape. When it’s over, you go back home and read the book he gives. Before repeating the cycle. It’s never a dull moment with Jaemin. With his type of power, every day truly feels brand new. You enjoy so much that at times you prefer to stay longer with him, just to have him touch your hands or even head as he gives you astonishing dreamscapes and memories.
Your mind enjoys spiraling into the dreamscapes, into a whole new world, whereby you’d see things for the first time and tell him what they are. At some point, Jaemin joins in the dreamscapes with you in order to give you a better understanding, and honestly, you slowly but surely like it when he joins in with you. He’s not such a bad person after all. He’s very considerate. The first time you met him, he wasn’t so compliant with you, but now it’s almost like he’s a different person. He allows you to talk to him, ask him questions and to just be… free around him.
“And you're telling me you're not strong enough?”
"I'm not."
You shake your head. "Give yourself some credit, you're a lot better at living life then me. You know what is means to be free." He simply smiles… A smile that you like seeing on his face.
Together with Jaemin, you enter dreamscapes and he dares you to perform the stunts of bungee jumping, swimming in cold waters- he teaches you how to eat different types of food and… live freely in the dreamscape. You see sights and sounds that you have no words to describe. Different countries, continents, cities- places outside of the community.
You look at him. “You should really take your own advice, have faith, believe, live. How better would it be if everyone in the community really were just in authentic commune with one another? Had their own individual thoughts,”
Jaemin tilts his head looking at you. “You really want the community to live like that?”
“Don’t you?” You question.
“Knowing what I know, it’d be hard for the community to ever reach the height of all these feelings.”
Paired together with Jaemin’s teachings, you always want to be captivated by him and everything he knows. Traversing the dreamscape together only made you feel so alive. Various of people, with interesting looks and features, cultures and heritage. People living in various parts of the world, separated by waters so deep and large all around.
With every dreamscape you awaken as if you’re thirsty for more. “What was that? They were two of those children who looked the same,” Your eyes glisten and sparkle as you ask curiously.
“Twins.” Jaemin sits on the headrest, his hands on your head. “Born identical, but each have their own soul. Just like you and me.” He smiles whenever you’re fascinated. You especially like it, when you ask a question that’s so good that he taps your nose. “Good question. Here in the community, they find twins a bit… eerie. So they’ll release it, they release the one that’s not heavy.”
Every day, there’s a new dreamscape, a new wonder to marvel at. You get excited, when he begins working with your ears to hear what the previous world sounded like. Music. “Listen.” He’d say after allowing you to enter a dreamscape whereby all you could hear was sound- singing, melody, lovely words and voices that would bring you to tears. You got lost, the good kind of lost when hearing all these performances.
Concerts, operas, performances, theatricals- sounds so powerful that they captured your heart. Symphonies and lullaby’s, the old and young singing together- even dancing.
Dancing, attending places with you… Holding you close to him. Your heart has never felt this much content before. Was all this really forbidden? You don’t know what to think, what to believe. All this was once reality… how could it all just stay in a dream? “Don’t accept what is the truth, just because it’s coming from someone you respect, you need to think with your own head, your own heart, your own spirit and soul. Set it ablaze and don’t let that fire in you die.”
Other times he’ll sit on the couch and hold your hands, allowing you to feel and touch things you’ve never even known. Weirdly shaped creatures panting and walking on all fours- dogs and cats and some ‘pets’ that he says aren’t even pets such as squirrels, rabbits, and snakes. He gives you the feeling of touching and holding things. Your hands can’t get enough. It’s on days that he holds your hands, and you hold onto his a little bit more tighter wanting to feel every inch… Something in you shifts the moment you stop taking your sleep injections… You begin to dream… Dreaming is the best part of the night, especially when he’s also in your dreams.
Getting to work, at times you’d look at him a little bit longer, a little bit softer when he spoke. In response he’d playfully smile or tap your cheek telling you to focus. “I saw you in my dream again,”
He smiles. “Oh yeah, what was I doing there?”
“I don’t know.” You tilt your head smiling softly.
“You know, sometimes the dreams can reveal to you, your own memories.” After getting lost in your eyes for a bit, he’d slowly bring it back to the lesson. “Memories are not just about the past, they determine our future. You can change things, you can make things better. Like last time we spoke about lady period pains, but now with pills, no lady experiences that.”
“Yeah, but at the cost of losing something else.” You say focusing back on the lesson.
It’s life to the fullest. Not what the community has. It’s life, but it’s complete. Jaemin even shows you things… that make you blush. Couples kissing, making out… Even in your own dreams you get pushed into seeing more. You never hide anything from Jaemin and tell him your dreams… minus the fact that other times he’s the one to kiss you.
“I just don’t understand, what’s so dangerous about a couple of people who admire each other?” You ask.
He nods his head. “The word you’re looking for is love. Let me give you an exercise, ask your parents if they love you, and you’ll hear their response. Hopefully you’ll see why it’s considered forbidden.”
At the table with your parents you’d pop up the things that Jaemin would ask you to do. And of course your heart damages when releasing how badly the community has been brainwashed. “Precision of language dear. You mean, do we enjoy you. Love is meaningless. A word that is meaningless.” It’s what your mother said.
“Why would they remove that?” You enter into the Dream headquarters with your question being a greeting. “Why would they remove love?” You question going down the steps rapidly while telling him what your mother said. “That actually hurt… But after what you showed me, about love being… this… this…” You huff. “Jaemin, wouldn't you be so…so… So happy if someone just told you that they loved you?"
He chuckles a little. "I'd be at a loss of words too."
"So tell me, why did they remove love?” Jaemin’s eating his breakfast, but still addresses.
His response. “Because love is complicated and brings out either the best or worst in people. Love can bring upliftment of emotions, as well as heavy jealousy. Some acts of love bring out the best in people to be the best version of themselves, while other types of love is toxic and only keeps people stagnated and feeling lonely feelings. But, don’t think about that now, let’s just live in the dreamscape. You’ll see everything has it’s ups as well as downs and ways to be solved.” His eyes too, you could feel that he could sense something forming between the both of you. But with the months already spent together you try not to get distracted by your feelings. Your parents are more than happy when seeing you smile. From time to time you meet Jeno… and for a little bit, you’re able to distinguish his feelings and thoughts without him having to say anything.
He likes you. But you can’t reciprocate that because… you think you’ve fallen for someone else. Someone who’s held your hands and made you experience things you’ve never experienced before.
“I touched it… picked it up.” You try to explain what you held. “It was shining every time the sun shined on it. Hard and see through, it’s a…”
“A seashell,” Jaemin helps you out and you agree with the word remaining in your brain forever.
On some days, Jaemin will sit on the edge closer to your feet where he’ll hold your legs- tickling you and even massaging you, but in the manner of showing you a dreamscape concerning legs. Each dreamscape being different and so surreal. People mixing together, walking such long distances, sliding down zip lines, jumping off places with protection, dining in the sky, running and doing all sorts of activities, the list goes on. It never ends. The dreamscape is so infinitely vast that you can’t believe it sometimes.
“Dreamer Na,”
“Why don’t you just call me Jaemin?”
“I call you Dreamer, when I want to persuade you.” You giggle as he furrows his brows. “I’m feeling giddy. I want to see people my age, do things, please show me something,”
Once, Jaemin had showed you what it's like to attend a college party, in allowing you to learn about how reckless the youth were known to have been back in the past. Of course the start of the party was peaceful, with only a few people, you and Jaemin drinking cold drink and dancing together, before it turned a little wild when more people kept pouring in. Cold drink was turned to alcohol, Christmas music was turned to grinding music, dance floors were made, some kissing in the corner, others disappearing in rooms to do 'the deeds' as Jaemin would say.
In the dreamscape he remembers how he had to take you to the bathroom to freshen up - he wanted you to have the college experience, and to say that you did was an understatement, you were literally still a youth so Jaemin understood. But after helping you drink some water, he walked you back out only for you to stop by the top of the staircase…
Maybe that's where his feelings for your evolved. You turned around, your eyes still sparkling from being tipsy. His one hand held your waist supporting you, while his other hand slowly cupped your neck.
"What's wrong? Do you feel like puking?" Concern all over his face trying to make sure you were okay. Because he'd hate to bring you to reality and you couldn't even stand without feeling dizzy and wanting to puke.
Nonetheless, you didn't even mind that. Your mind, body and soul were preoccupied. Your body felt hot. Your mind wanted something… your soul tried to reach his through your eyes. You looked down at his lips before back up into his deep brown eyes, you could only shake your head as you leaned closer, your own hands getting used to the feel of his waist. Your eyes glanced once at the ceiling, hoping he'd get the memo. And he did.
A mistletoe.
A light chuckle came upon his face as he saw the green and red decoration hanging over the ceiling. "What does that mean again?" you had asked feeling your face getting on fire just from seeing his profile. He looked back down at you, leaning close to your ear: "Let's get you back before we accidentally overdose on this memory,"
And then just like that, the dreamscape finished. And like a side effect, in real life you were still tipsy. Jaemin laughed at you but still took you to your dwelling. He advised your parents to just give you water and let you sleep.
“How about today, I show you mother nature,”
“Who’s that?”
He grins. “Give me your hands, she’s really beautiful.” He jokes but shows you signs of wonder, such as; water that glows like fire known as lava, you even see creatures that once existed such as dinosaurs, birds with big wings! Fields of ice, water so cold that it freezes, animals such as polar bears, fish and many more all twirl in the sea. Night skies that are filled with so many dancing colors. Colors! Colors that fill up your every vision in amazement. He takes you up mountains that take days to climb but feel so satisfying when you’re done and at the climb and look out to the view being in awe of the world.
The outside world is huge, and every day is not the same, as Jaemin has you hooked and riling you into a world of pure imagination that was once reality.
After every dreamscape, you sit and talk with him. Mostly you talking in joy and heaps of excitement and him, listening and adding in. “It was water and sand tingling at the soles of my feet,” You smile as you describe to him, exploring new words.
“The beach was always known for that,” He says nodding his head. “Let me show you, a waterfall,”
On regular days, he’s simply giving you the adventurous dreams and asking for a description of what you see. On most days, he’s teaching you of history. “It was believed that they came before us,”
“Monkey’s came before us?”
“You know, when these living things, these animals were around, they were a lot like us. Only difference is that they had fur and spoke in animal way, and they also knew they’re parents.”
Parents. It’s when you also learnt the twisted truth of what father givers and birth mothers actually were. They weren’t people in love, they weren’t even a couple. They’d put medication and sleep with each other, to produce children. You were devastated, you still are surprised. To think that the people you’re living with aren’t even your real parents, but parents that the community has given you in order to not feel like you didn’t have parents- and also for the parents to not lament that they don’t have kids. In order for the community not to be siblings, birthmothers and father givers were changed frequently, so that the crime of ‘incest’ a new word you learnt would not begin. That was only a small little portion of the pain that Jaemin would show you. Once in a while… when he did show pain, you weren’t able to handle it…
“I cannot prepare you for what you’ll see. But I promise you, it isn’t real.” He’d say before holding your hands tighter.
Thieves. Liars. Crimes committed. They started out as little white lies, before it turned bitter- accusing someone falsely and the person going to ‘jail’ for a really long time. Other people who did not have enough, would steal from those that had. Stealing things that were valuable and destroying trust. Jaemin only showed you those little things… but in you… you felt so bad. If the people of the past had enough, or if they only told the truth…
Other times, Jaemin would show you… poachers. Attacking down animals and stealing their skins, horns and meat… “Jaemin I can’t…” You said with tears in your eyes… “The poor animals…”
Jaemin immediately after his few attempts to show you the pain, stating that you weren’t ready. And he slowly eased back into showing you good memories. Although you preffered the good memories better you often wondered how many more of those depressing burdened memories did Jaemin have…
“I saw something, at the foot of the mountain just now.” You sit up and try to explain to Jaemin what you saw… “It was like a place… a dwelling,”
“Home.” Jaemin nods his head taking a seat back on his couch. “It’s different from a dwelling. A dwelling is not a home. A home is more. Its family soaked nuzzled up together and soaking up each other’s awesomeness.” He smiles warmly. “But all jokes aside, a home is a very safe space to be, it’s where you can rest and get away from all your stresses and worries. Most importantly it has a bed. A warm one. In my case, it’s that couch you’re sitting on. I don’t know how to describe it, a home…”
He shows you soft visions of things to calm you down. Camping at night with bonfires, while someone played guitar in the backgrounds. “If the fire wood ran out, would we need to use the guitar?” Other questions, you asked for comic relief, and thank goodness Jaemin would laugh.
He told you that in the next year, he’d begin to show you the pain. Until then, you’d ‘fall in love’ with what he showed you now. He smiles a lot during lessons, especially with stories he’s really interested in. You can’t get enough of him, enough of everything he has shown you. Although you remind yourself of the importance of inheriting the dreamscapes in order to be the next Dreamer…another part of you just wants to be forever with Jaemin.
“Do you still want to be released?” You ask to Jaemin when he walks with you back to your dwelling. “After showing me everything?”
Jaemin sighs out. “Yes.”
“Please don’t.” You shake your head. “Just… stay with me a little longer. Jaemin I can’t do a lot on my own. I still need you to show me a lot.”
He smiles gently looking down at you, he pats your head. “It’s why I’m still here,”
The unlocked colors begin to make an entry into your eyes and after some time, you can actually describe and see Jaemin in color. Plus you notice that the community around is in pastel colors, every house hold has their own color. Your family is a light shade of yellow and white, Jeno’s family is peach and white. Colors all light and almost white, monochrome colors is what Jaemin calls it. From time to time when coming back to the reality after leaving the dreamscape, you get disappointed with how much the Dreamers took away.
The one thing you really enjoyed doing after work, was looking at the sky. Laying on the artificial grass looking up to the sky seeing the clouds swirl around the sun in a pattern, in a design, in color. Your vision is soon cut short when a head pops into your view. You blink several times seeing Jeno. “Hey Jeno,”
“Hey? Don't you mean good afternoon? Have you fallen down?” He questions with amusement. “Do you need immediate assistance?”
You chuckle lightly getting up on your own. “I was just looking at the sky,”
Jeno nods his head and looks up too before his gaze gets back to you again. “Yes, because it’s totally normal to be laying on the grass and looking up to the sky.” Jeno says out sarcastically making himself laugh. “Months ago, I’d say you’ve gone crazy, but now I guess it’s really happening. You’re becoming the dreamer” He breathes out. “You’re seeing things. What’s it like?” He asks. “I know you’re not allowed to share your teachings, but come on, even a little ‘sneak peek’?” Jeno uses the word you once taught him.
“Jeno you should be heading to your dwelling.” You laugh a little.
“I saw you and just wanted to…” He scratches the back of his neck. “See you.”
“Okay,” You nod your head after looking at him for a while with a smile.
“So, are you gonna tell me another sneak peak?”
You breathe in tilting you head. “Give me your hands. I want to try something.”
“My hands?” Jeno questions, but still lifts up his hands nervously placing them over yours. You hold them tightly and closing your eyes as you focus on the sky. “Look up, and tell me what you see?”
“Uhm. Okay.” Jeno looks up and squints his eyes. “Nothing really,”
“Come on,” You urge him with a playful smile. “Concentrate.”
Meanwhile as you try to urge Jeno to see something, in the surveillance room, the workers are shocked at your contact. They write out an issue of warning, before dating it and sending a call to their supervisor. Haechan who’s getting off his drone piloting around the community walks past the surveillance footage room and furrows his eyes when seeing his supervisor watching a camera footage of… you and Jeno. He lingers around for a bit, wondering what would happen in this situation.
So far, with the months of training that he has had, he’s learnt that being a pilot and watching over the community is hard work and pressuring. As his eyes were literally the helping eyes of the President. Him along with everyone working in the surveillance room who would fly little drones around the communities and 'hide' information about the President's law breaking. Haechan clocks out and begins riding his bicycle to the place where the footage captured you and Jeno. And strangely, you and Jeno are seated on the ground. He draws closer to you guys in hopes that the surveillance guys don't call in the president. “Hey,”
You and Jeno peer up and instantly your smiles light up your eyes. “Hey!” You then turn to Jeno. “How come you want me to say ‘good afternoon’, but you let Haechan pass with a ‘hey’?” You jokingly ask, causing Jeno to snicker.
“That is because you’re the dreamer.” Jeno responds.
“It���s been so long since I’ve actually seen you, Y/n” Haechan announces his presence again, getting your eyes to look at him. He smiles when getting closer to you and Jeno. “You look healthy.” Is his way of saying he missed you. “Why haven’t you guys gone to your dwellings? And why are you sitting on the grass?” He asks.
You and Jeno both look to each other before you speak out with a smile. “I convinced Jeno to stay a while before we go back to our dwelling.”
“Yeah, and I’m filling her in on how my work life is going, since she’s not allowed to tell me about hers.” Jeno fills on. Following onto Jaemin’s rules, a lot of the times you simply went ‘home’ from your trainings and you never conversed much with Jeno or Haechan. As they were both scarce sometimes. But really once in a while, you tried to make an effort. “Come join us, and then you can tell Y/n how your training has been.” you par the ground next to you.
“How about I show you," He looks to the ground weirdly before nudging his head.
Following Haechan, you and Jeno are brought to the surveillance tower headquarters. It’s shaped like a dome. “Wow, Haechan.” You look around the high view of almost the entire community, seeing the symmetric and robotic patterns of shape and platforms all being the same. It’s either houses are in squares or rectangles, grass outside is also in either squares or rectangle spaces. It can’t even compare to the things Jaemin has showed you. “This is quite a view, you’ve got here.” You say. One day, you’re hoping that they’ll get to see what you’ve seen.
“You should see me when I’m high up in the sky in my drone,” Haechan shows off in your direction. Having not seen you for a long time, he actually missed your feminine presence between him and Jeno. Your voice and the way you showed interest always made him feel one way. “When I’m flying, looking down on everything, it’s like I’m seeing things for the first time.”
You look to him and nod your head. “I can relate,”
“Really?” He chortles. “Thought you said that you and the Dreamer only sit and talk.”
“We do.” You simply nod your head, not giving him any more information.
“Well in anyway, I’m allowed to fly past the mist, and sometimes even into other communities.” Haechan shows off in a playful tone. “I even get to go to elsewhere and past the edge.”
“The edge,” That peeks your interest. “Really? What’s it like?”
“For one, it’s really dry lands and like… a downslope.” Haechan explains but Jeno scoffs.
“A down slope? Lying isn’t good Haechan.”
“I don’t know how to explain it, but I’m telling the truth. It’s like the earth tilts downwards going down a rocky path.”
While Haechan explains it more, Jeno continues to doubt, but you nod your head knowing he’s talking about a mountain. Jaemin mentioned that the communities are up over hills, built on level headed ground that makes everything flat. “So many secrets,” You whisper.
“Secrets?” Haechan leans back over the view and looks at you. “You’re the one with secrets,”
“I really don’t have any,” You tell. It’s not a lie, but it’s also not true. The only secrets are your trainings.
“I guess that means I really am the only one with interesting training,” Haechan jokes. He continues to explain all that he has seen and you want to so desperately let your friends know of the world beyond.
“You said you work closely with the president?” You question.
Haechan nods his head, trying to not let out anything. Aside from you, his rules also allowed him to lie. “He calls on specific units. My unit is in charge patrolling. So I get morning and night duty. On days that I’m on night duty he’ll ask that I make sure that… everyone is inside their dwellings as I help him… distribute things in all communities.” Haechan subtly lies and nods his head as you hum. “So, in three years’ time they’ll chose our partners Jeno. Who do you think you’ll get paired up with?” he tries to change the topic.
The question has you immediately thinking of Jaemin. Next year he’d be a 25 which meant he was permitted to have a wife. You slouch a little, not wanting him to have someone else. After getting to know him for so long, you think you’ve fallen for him. However, in the mist of you thinking about him, you can’t see the eyes that fall on you. Not only from Jeno, but from Haechan too.
Being a 20 with them, meant that you’d also be partnered up in their age group. The only problem, is that this partnering up was not made out of a love connection, but more of a strengths connection. Every partner has to be compatible with each other, and it’s up to the Neorists to decide, not you. It’s how they make ‘parenting’ work out. Being so deep in thought, you quickly snap out and glance at your two friends only to be surprised at the stare down they’re having with each other.
“I hope I get you.” Haechan says to you. “I think we’re very compatible.”
“It’s clear that the Neorists will pick me. We’ve spent a great amount of time together.” Jeno says with a smile. Looking between them, you can’t tell if… a weird feeling of jealousy is being underlined. But to stop it, your eyes land on the piles of trays in the middle.
“Alright boys, we’ll reach that topic when we get to that age. Come on,” You get off the ledge and walk over to the tray. “Take one tray, and I’ll show you something of my training.” In order to distract them from having a heavy stare down.
Jeno takes the tray and so does Haechan, however when you direct them to the staircase. “This isn’t part of my training, but it’s something really cool,” Watching you take the tray, Haechan is reminded yet again of how he saw his supervisors giving you a warning. So watching you walking with the tray on your hands and Jeno following, Haechan only folds his arms watching. “Come on Haechan,”
“These trays are the ones being distributed to your dwellings when it’s dinner time. You can’t play around with them,” Haechan says.
You scoff. “So you’re not interested in my training?”
“No it’s cool. I’ll stick to watching.” And it’s a good thing he does, because you move towards the long flight of staircase that’s located on the side of the dome. On the wide stairs, there’s a moving staircase, and on the center there’s a non-moving staircase. You tell Jeno to follow your move as you sit on the tray gaining a few stares from those climbing the steps. Jeno follows you, slightly laughing finding everything amusing. “Guys you shouldn’t be doing that.”
“Oh come on Haehcan, since when did you become boring?” Jeno playfully questions…
Haechan scoffs. “I happen to like my job and I’m not about to do some stunt to get me punished. So, I’ll see you guys later.”
He walks off, but to you and Jeno you notice that something different is happening to him. “He’s acting weird,” Jeno starts before shrugging his shoulders. “But whatever it is, let’s just continue. So what are we doing now?”
“Alright,” Your smile gets back on your face… even though you sensed something odd. You’d have to tell Jaemin. “On my count, you’re going to lean forward while holding onto the tray. Don’t let go under any circumstances.”
“Uhm, okay.” Jeno is unsure about that but trusts your every move. “Aren’t we going to get hurt though?”
“Nope.” You shake your head positioning yourself to sit nicely on the tray. “1, 2, 3- GO!”
Sucking in a heavy breath- Jeno’s eyes rapidly enlarge as his body leans forwards instantly allowing the tray to throttle down the steps in a quick manner that has him speeding! You giggle and laugh when recreating the feeling of being on the roller-coaster, even a sledge. Jaemin mentioned that roller-coasters were gravity defined for people who loved high speed and wind and wanted a little thriller in their lives. So as Jeno rides the tray he feels so much… sensation overflowing through his body. It feels exactly like the wind bashing on his face. The ride is filled with energetic squeals from you and thrilled laughter from Jeno, it doesn’t even matter to both of you that you’re getting odd looks from the people wither going up or down the steps. The fun soon ends when you see the ground coming-you brace yourself by placing your feet on the edge to land- but just as you stop, Jeno behind you is not to lucky and bumps into you at a rough crashing speed causing you both to fall and laugh out.
You laugh so hard as Jeno is still in so many emotions from surprised to astonishment- you help him up by offering your hand. He looks at it chuckling from the ride, before taking it and you assist him up. “So this is the pain that they were talking about?”
“Not even close.” You shake your head looking into his eyes. You feel to let go of Jeno’s hands… however he gets reluctant in not letting you go just yet.
“That was fun.” He says. “Show me more,”
Not a moment later, Johnny’s holographic figure finally notices Jaemin who enters the Surveillance room.
“Good afternoon, Dreamer Na.” Johnny greets. “We had an issue to go over with you, however you’ve arrived implacably at the right time. Would you care to tell me what’s this?” Jaemin not bothering to greet anyone looks at the footage that they’re showing him and he sees your face together with another guy. You haven’t gone to your dwelling yet. Aside from that, Jaemin notices how you’re both holding hands and laughing. “You say I've been careless but here, a moment ago, she was seen demonstrating odd behavior, by holding onto a person, and sharing her training.”
“Finally. I was beginning to wonder why she hadn’t shown anyone. Don’t worry Johnny. That always happens. But it’s an impossible experience to share training.” Jaemin has a poker dry face as he peeks back to the holographic figure. He shrugs his shoulders. “The kid got curious, let her live. I don’t tell you what to do in your position, so don’t tell me. Can I go now? If this is what you called me for, I think I’m done here.”
“Need I remind you of the previous Dreamer you selected in Community 4? Have you forgotten what happened to him?” Johnny states, while some statics come up of the previous Dreamer and his life before he was released. That has Jaemin frozen in place, his nonchalant face disappearing before a serious face engraves his features. “Should I read them for you? He was supposed to be the next Dreamer, but you got him released and hurt. You not only put a setback on Community 4, but you also became a Dreamer that’s unreliable. Take for instance the last disastrous guidance you gave to overthrow having gadgets. If how you’re training this Dreamer turns out to be the same way you trained the previous one, careless and fast, we might have another failure in our hands. Am I understood, Dreamer Na?”
“That boy, that Dreamer, had a name. So use it.” Jaemin clinches his jaw, because he knows it was his fault, it was the president Johnny.
“Of course, you want to hear his name. The failure of community 4. Mark Lee.” At the mention of the young boy’s name, Jaemin gets serious and his motions stop. How could he ever forget what happened to Mark. His friend.
“Make the announcement.” Johnny squints his eyes at the screen, while you still hold onto both of Jeno’s hands talking about him being able to feel something. Jaemin watches you and listens to how you try to convince Jeno that what you did was normal. He shakes his head and turns around. What was he thinking? Allowing you to take the dreamscape and bring it to this worthless communities was such a waste. He should just die with all the dreamscape memories.
“Attention, please stand by for an announcement.” Jaemin listens to the robotic voice speak. “Members of the community are reminded to not touch anyone outside of their dwelling units. If you’ve touched someone outside of your unit please take your serum injection immediately.”
Immediately you let go of the guy which Jaemin sees to be Jeno. Jaemin stops in his stride for a bit. Before turning back to the holographical figure of President Johnny. “You know what, overthrowing gadgetry wasn’t a disastrous choice, they were one too many disadvantages for having tech gadgets. For one, it stopped crackhead like yourself from peeping in and preying on every fucking conversation that everyone had. But I guess you didn’t even follow my guidance because you let the whole community abandon gadgets and kept all gadgetry for yourself and this fucking sick room, to have full control over everything and everyone. Just to let you know, perverts would insert cameras in public bathrooms to watch people piss. Those perverts did it for their own disgusting amusement, they’d install earpieces in private areas to hear private conversations. What you’re doing now, is no different than the dickheads of the past. I just wonder why you insisted on keeping these fucking cameras and earpieces everywhere. Who’re you trying to spy on? It surely isn't for the good of the community, it's for your own sick desire.”
Jaemin spitting knowledge to the community President has some of the workers who are eavesdropping curious and instantly feeling a feeling of guilt. What is a pervert? They didn’t know the word piss- but in the context used they had a disturbing understanding. In their defense they weren’t ‘peeping’ they were monitoring… because President Johnny had told them to. Meanwhile Jaemin clinches his jaw. “One day, this will all burn in your face.”
However Johnny speaks up. "No. It will burn in your face. Don't force my hand to do what I don't want."
-
After a few more weeks of sharing your dreams with Jaemin and him giving you Dreamscapes, one afternoon, an hour before time goes up, you sigh while taking a seat on the edge of the steps looking at the tree in the lively lit room. “Jaemin,”
“Yes?” He walks back towards you on the staircase with two mugs of coffee. Another thing, aside from the Dreamscape, was Jaemin’s pantry of verities of different foods with all sorts of taste. It’s a miracle that he can cook by himself. He’d show you too. Little dishes. It’s a shame they took cooking away. According to Jaemin, they took it away for one of two reasons. People either couldn’t cook, and others who could would mistakenly burn the kitchen. They took several foods away because of the level of difficulties when cooking them. The cooks in the community are the machines underground. They prepare a pantry of greens. No meat, just vegetables. Taking the mug in your hand, you face him. “I feel so stupid.” You whisper out.
He chuckles as he takes a seat on the step next to you. “Why do you say that?”
“Because, it’s almost been a year, and there’s still so much I don’t know.” You peer into his eyes. He’s got the world’s prettiest eyes with long lashes. “Plus when are you going to take me on those board meetings that you get invited too across other communities?”
He smiles. He places his mug on the step above hin and leans against the wall, his body facing yours. “You want to see how I give community Neorists directions?”
“Yes, I want to see you in action,” You smile. “By the way, this new serum that everyone is taking seems a bit weird.”
“New serum. I’ve been hearing about it.” Jaemin notes. “I’m not the one making it. President Suh has put people to it. Why do you say it’s weird?”
“Well to start off, my parents don’t only take it in the morning, but they take it whenever they’ve committed a mistake or something like that.”
Jaemin’s eyebrows furrow. “That’s strange.”
“It is,” You nod your head. “My friends were acting weird the other day. Almost as if they were jealous. They were speaking about the marriage ceremony but then they made reference that they both wanted me. I thought they were being playful before, but then when looking at them… into their eyes… Jaemin, they looked really selfish and jealous. Like they wanted to claim me for themselves,” Jaemin who was once serious when listening to you, ends up breaking into little chuckles causing you to blush a little feeling self-conscious and to snap out of being serious. “Why are you laughing? Do you think I’m not worthy?”
“Oh no,” Jaemin grins staring into your eyes. “You’re so worthy of appreciation. You’re thoughtful, curious, so quick witted and sharp, you’re just… someone that’s outside of the box.” Jaemin breathes in deeply looking into your eyes. He also wants to add how you’re whole-hearted, earnest, having amazing hands… lips… body… but he catches himself as his eyes stop checking you out. “If you ask me, they’re the ones unworthy of you.”
“Really?” His light statement has you giggling. “Or are you just saying that to flatter me?” You get up and go down the steps.
“Not at all, if you want me to flatter you, just ask." Jaemin too gets up and follows behind you. Whispering in your ear, "Ask me to do anything, and I’ll gladly do it if it means flattering you.”
“You would?” You bite your lips, a cute smile brushing on your lips. “You know, I actually want to… I want…” you turn around looking at him.
“You want what?” he stops walking too.
“I want to… know you more. Is that strange to say?” You inhale and exhale deeply looking into his eyes but he shakes his head. “Next year you said you’ll show me the pain that the dreamers hold. But, I was thinking about you. Won’t it be hard on you showing me pain when you have to look for a partner?”
“Partner?” Jaemin hears the misdirection of your question. “Where’s that coming from?”
“Like I said, my friends recently brought that to my attention.” You grin nervously “But, I was just thinking about it, about your partner,”
Jaemin tilts his head to the side loving how jealous you look. It makes him laugh inwardly. “Why were you thinking of my partner?” Luckily he could choose who he wanted… But he wanted to be released. There was no one he was interested in… but that's until you came around. At that, he thinks of your friends, especially Jeno. Already some elders had began pulling names together, and yours was with Jeno. He agreed with them that it would be a good choice, but somewhere deep in him, he didn’t want you to be with Jeno. He shakes his head chuckling lightly to get rid of the thoughts. “Here, put your mug down and let’s do an exercise. Just to get your mind out of these partners. Give me your hand,”
You do as he says and put your mug down and let your hand move towards him. Instead of showing you something, he… intertwines your fingers with his in a weird way. His eyes search into yours and you can only look back at him with a smile. “What is it?”
“What do you feel right now?”
“Warmth,” You say and he nods his head spreading your your arms up and slowly leaving your hands while his slide down your figure. Your hands in the air come down over his biceps smiling.
“How about now?” There seems to be a manifestation of emotions that are heavy, thick and almost tangible.
"I can feel my heart racing," you answer. "In a good way,"
"And now?" The way Jaemin let's your waist go and smoothly gets a hold of your hands intertwining your fingers, playing with them in a smooth way before spinning you around like some sort of dance. Turning you around one last time before your back lands on his front, with his hands still spreading yours wide horizontally and playing with your fingers. You lay your head on his chest closing your eyes, hearing him whisper. "How do you feel… when looking at me?"
If it were not for the fact that he's your trainer you would have easily said what you felt, but upon opening your eyes and seeing his gaze sink into yours, you remember that this isn't a dreamscape, he's your trainer. You whisper out. "Remember that Christmas Party you showed me, I believe some months ago?" You ask lacing your fingers deeply in his, watching as they untangle before tangle back into each other. Feeling the warmth of Jaemin on your back and his arms spread out with yours has your mind racing. You’re tempted to bring his fingers to your lips, as your eyes hesitate over his lips before drawing back to his clear eyes, while you recall the dreamscape.
"Oh yes, where you got drunk?" of course, he'd remember that. He teases playfully. You drank just one and a half cups of the bitter whiskey drink before Jaemin was your guide as you turned face and joined the madness around. You danced dances you've never known, you joined in on a crowd surfing and you swear- you never wanted to wake up from this dreamscape. All the while Jaemin laughed leaning on the wall, loving you enjoy yourself. Yes, loving. But you didn't know that.
And now as he brings your arms down turning you around again, you hold onto his hands and walk backwards and until you reach the couch, his heart beating a thousand times faster, he can't help the feelings erupting all over his stomach. Maybe it's because you're also a dreamer, maybe it's why he feels this attraction to you. He's felt like this before- but only in the dreamscape, when he'd reply in his mind of himself a wet dream. But those weren’t even real. Yet right now, here with you, looking into your eyes, feeling your hands, Jaemin recognizes the feelings easily.
In the present time now, with Jaemin, that ecstatic feeling builds up in the pits of your stomach. Nothing has changed, you still want to feel his body so close to you, in the closest way possible. You don't know how he was able to keep a composed face, but right now more than anything you want him to just show… you something. Something he's feeling.
"Yes, where I got drunk."
Jaemin smiles. "Your parents were so worried,"
"Jaemin," You lightly giggle drawing closer by shifting in your seat towards him.
He snickers a little. "I remember that dreamscape."
You nod your head. "You asked me what I feel when I look at you. well right now, I feel like that, back in that dreamscape."
Jaemin can hear his heart beating a little louder. "What did you feel back then?"
Now your heart is pounding in your chest, your toes curl, hands getting hot. 'I… want you… to kiss me like there's a mistletoe in the room.' Is what your mind wants to scream out, but instead you only look at him and suck in your lips. "Happy…" You meekly respond.
Jaemin nods his head peering into your own eyes. "Can I show you what I feel?"
"Yes, please," You breathe you. Jaemin untangles your hand from his, just as he removes his leather jacket only remaining in his black shirt.
He pats his lap smiling. "Well, come and sit,"
You chuckle a little getting up from the couch. Spreading your legs over him and sliding down with both your hands on his shoulder has your beating faster. Your eyes widen when he slides his hands down your sides. Your hands seemingly know where to go around his neck. "If you're uncomfortable in anyway-"
"I like this position," you assure, your eyes over his lips.
"But still, let me know," He whispers, voice barely audible even to your ears. Your breath hitches hearing him chuckle lowly. Without a second thought, Jaemin's hands manage themselves over your thighs which are slightly exposed from the buttoned down dress you're wearing. Your breath hitches, but you don't dare pull away from him. Ever so slowly both your eyes are on his lips, anticipating what he's going to do next. And you do not expect it.
Jaemin pulls you forward, bringing you closer until you're basically sitting on his manhood. "This okay?" He asks softly, a smile playing across his lips. You nod, eyes widening even more. A blush forms on your cheeks, which causes Jaemin to smirk. "Follow my lips," his eyes darken in something you can't really give a name to other then pleasure. He brings his hands above your waist and leans forward capturing your neck in a soft kiss and lick. You moan softly, your body instinctively getting closer to him, your thighs spreading over him. He kisses up your neck, your jaws and then finally your lips.
He moans by the taste of coffee on your lips. Deepening the kiss, both of you tangling your tongues. The heat rising in your body. This isn't just any kiss, it's full of emotions you've yet to name. You're so lost in this kiss, your first kiss, that you don't even notice Jaemin slowly lowering his body side ways until he's laying flat on the couch. You're straddling him now and don't know what to do.
"I want you," You whisper in the kiss. "I want to feel you, but I don't know what to do. Show me,"
Jaemin moves his hands to the hem of your dress, slowly lifting it up, causing goosebumps to spread over your skin as he spreads your thighs some more. "I'll guide you." His words are soft, yet somehow they send chills through your entire body. Both of you lean in, deepening the kisses and moving against each other, feeling each other's touch, you move your hands under his shirt in the same manner his hands tingle over your thighs, grazing along his smooth and toned abdomen. Your fingertips brush against the skin of his torso, making his breath hitch, your heart beats fast as you continue to explore, your hands going higher.
Slowly he lifts his body up and switches positions, now with you on your back and him above you. "It's okay. Just follow my lead." You nod your head, eyes glued on the man above you. Slowly he lowers his body, pressing his lips against yours again. His hand palms your waist while the other one slides in your thigh gently brushing over your core.
You shudder in the kiss and hold onto Jaemin's biceps. He continues gently passing your core and you've never known just how good your entire body could feel. All of a sudden his hand slides away and then goes up and palms your boob so softly. "Feels good doesn't it?" He says in between the kiss, watching you in ecstacy. Leaving your lips, his lips go down to your neck while the hand that was on your waist has now taken the position inside your thigh.
Running his middle finger over the material of your underneath pressing on your bulb bump has you arching your back. "Jaemin,"
Jaemin smiles before sliding his hand out and stopping the motion of pawing your boob. You gasp out looking at him in awe.
"Is that how you feel?" You question lowly in pure need of wanting him more.
Jaemin chuckles before sitting up and bringing you up as well. He brushed his hand past your hair making it go down. "It's the actions of it, but yes. It's known as making love."
"Making love?" You smile. "What does that mean?"
"That this is sacred. Something done by two people who love each and are sure." Jaemin nods his head. "More than anything, for a really long time, I've been sure about you." Jaemin admits causing your cheeks to feel hot. "I just don't want to… rush anything. I want to really let these emotions enjoy themselves. How about you?"
You nod your head touching your lips and biting it… You want to say the forbidden words but you simply smile. "I want that too. I just hope you don't give up. Not on yourself, and not on me. And not our community. Does this mean… You'll stay?"
"I'm still here because of you," he leans into you slowly, his eyes looking over your lips. His hand comes up to your cheek and he holds it in place, before diving in for another kiss with you.
And you swear upon getting home it's all you can think about. His lips.
When eating, sharing feelings, your face gets red but your family can't see it. They can only see how ecstatic you are. “Oh, before I forget. Jeno said the President designed a medication for you.”
“For me?” You tilt your head looking at the cylinder capsule with blood red liquid content inside.
“Yes, he said you should take it before you fall asleep.” Taeyong states, recalling how Jeno walked up to him with the note and serum.
Without taking your sleep injection but drinking on the new medication, you expect to dream about what you and Jaemin did.
However, something is wrong. The dream… starts off in the dark. You’re walking on a road alone… You turn your head left and right, wondering what’s happening. Yet, you get this urge to run. A sick feeling building up in your stomach. You turn your head when seeing someone walk behind you. You walk faster, not knowing why you feel on edge and uneasy.
Walking turns to speed walking. Speed walking turns to you breathing heavily. Thankfully you make it to a crowded area. People are walking all around- but your ears are blurred out from hearing the jizz around, as you can only hear how hard you’re breathing. You turn your head, and the masked hooded guy is still following you. Speeding walking turns to running- and just as you bolt the guy is heavy on his feet chasing you down. You’re panting and trying to run fast only for him to run faster- your poor legs don’t do much when he has you! Covering your mouth holding your body tight to his- you feel so much discomfort as he pushes you against the wall, tossing you into a darker alley.
“No, stop!” You try to break free- frantically trying to get him off of you. “S-stop!” Tears blur your eyes, but the masked man is strong and pins you against the wall, one hand holding onto your wrist tightly- the other hand… “Stop!”
“Shut up.”
“N-no-” You shake your hands but he’s so strong. His other hand continuing to pull down your pants. Rapidly when he lets your hands go to undo his belt- you swing your fist backwards hitting him. He grunts as you struggle to run with your pants open. You try to pull them back up- but that has the guy jumping to you and weighing you down on the ground. You try hitting him with all your might- grabbing his clothes and fighting him- you end up pulling off his mask-
A glimpse of his face has you frozen. President Johnny?Using your frozen state, he ends up forcefully removing your shirt and in an instant his face changes and morphs into… Jaemin that’s when you snap back. “Jaemin stop please! I don’t like this!” Your trembling voice yells out, but he doesn’t listen.
You hear the belt unfasten. You see something and your rigid state doesn’t stop squirming as you beg 'Jaemin' to let you go. But he doesn’t.
The dream seems to go on forever. The whole house in deep silence as you scream out. No one budging awake because of the heavy serum injection. However Haechan, on night shift duty, in the surveillance room quickly taps on a button entering the robot poll in your room.
"President Suh. Someone is coming." Haechan lies. Meanwhile the president over your body grunts. He was just about to get to the best part.
"Who?" Not hearing an answer, President Suh leaves gets up from your bed leaving you alone and then leaves your house.
Haechan in the surveillance room gulps when watching you calm down. However in the dream world you're spared from anything bad happening, you get up and begin running again when 'Jaemin' suddenly disappears. But it only gets worse from there.
-
3 days. 3 days since you last came to work. Jaemin bites his lip as he stands outside your dwelling. Wondering if you’ve been avoiding work because of the last time he saw you… that kiss probably scared you off. Jaemin thought giving you time, would allow you to cool off. But 3 days? No. Something was not right. You wouldn’t miss out on 1 day of work- so why 3. He needed to know what was wrong. That’s why he’s standing outside your dwelling in the afternoon, knowing very well that your guardians will be home, knocking on the door twice.
Of course they’re confused upon opening up the door. As no such thing as ‘visiting’ was permitted or even the fact that nobody was allowed to even step foot into another persons dwelling, unless you’re the president. 6p.m. that was dinner time, however when Taeyong opens the door, and comes face to face with the blackly dressed Dreamer- his eyes enlarge. “Dreamer Good afternoon. Please come in.” He greets, almost relieved. “She hasn’t been able to handle the pain well. We were hoping you’d come sooner.”
Pain? Jaemin can only nod once in greeting. “I see. Is she able to come to the door?”
This time Jaemin’s eyes go over to a female figure. “She hasn’t left her room in 3 days. We’ve tried several times to get her to come out, but to no avail, she refuses to speak to us or even come out.”
This time Jaemin’s head is in a huge muddle. Surely the kiss couldn’t have caused you to freak out like this. There’s something else. “May I see her?”
Taeyong and Seulgi look to each other, “We’d have to ask the president because he said she should-”
“Was he here?”
“No. But he's been aware of her condition.” Seulgi immediately shakes her head before she’s the one to lead you inside while Taeyong closes the door following after the pair that go up the stairs. “This is her room.”
“Can you leave us alone?”
“Certainly.” Seulgi answers hesitantly and uncertainly. She moves back a couple of steps being intimidated by Jaemin’s cold stare. She finds herself walking towards the staircase, stopping Taeyong in his stride up and telling him to retreat. “He’s come to help her.”
However Jaemin contemplates on the things to say in his head. He tries to think of possible reasons why you’re unresponsive both to him and your parents for 3 good days. This is bigger than the kiss, something else is troubling you, especially if the President knew about it. So before he knocks he thinks of some really good dreamscapes to show you to try and cheer you up… then again, maybe you don’t resonate with his feelings that’s why you haven’t been coming.
Knock. Knock.
Silence.
Knock. Knock. “It’s me,”
The voice alone has you springing your body upwards looking to the door. Tears mount your eyes hearing your dreamers voice. A part of you wants to leap to the door and push him outside and never agree to be a dreamer again. The other part of you hopes that he can take the pain away. Because ever since that first terrifying dream, for every time you’d fall asleep- only ‘bad’ dreams would come to your mind. In one dream you were beaten so badly that when waking up you still felt sore all over. But the worst and most terrifying was almost being raped . All these dreams, happened and were inflicted to you by Jaemin… Or the president. Your mind is too muffled up to even think straight. But to think that you saw Jaemin inflicting those acts… His eyes, his hands, his body, him. You saw him.p So, no. You don’t want to see him.
“Can I come in?”
“No.” You get up carefully from your bed, noticing how badly you’re trembling. You walk to the door and quiver shaking your head. “Dreamer. I don’t think I want to be a dreamer anymore.” You say quietly while fighting the tears trying to come out.
“What do you mean?” Jaemin’s eyebrows furrow. “Can I see your face Y/n? Please. You’re scaring me.” Hoping that you’re trembling tone is just an act. The last time he heard someone tremble was the Neorist elder in charge of nurturing. Before she found out that she was pregnant, she came to Jaemin to draw up a complaint against the President. Saying that he gave her a serum and did something to her. He doesn’t like how he can hear your voice so unstable and sounding like hers. “Can I come in, please.”
You say nothing, deciding to shake your head and go back to your bed. You sink in the bed and cover your head, trying to get the terrible memories to leave your head. Jaemin stays outside of your room for a really long time, wondering why your upset. “Is this because I kissed you?”
“Dreamer please go away,”
And why do you keep calling him ‘Dreamer’? You only called him that when you wanted to persuade him. But now… hearing how you call him that, he hears distaste in your voice and even… fear. What did he do? “Y/n. Please tell me what happened?”
Silence.
The silence is so loud and it irritates Jaemin that he can’t see your face and he doesn’t know what’s wrong. His mind was breaking out wondering what the hell was going on. “If it’s not the kiss, then what is it? Why don’t you want to be a dreamer anymore? Did I…” Jaemin halts a bit… a quick thought passing in his head. “Was it a dream you had? Did us kissing give you a strange dream? Did the President give you something weird?” This time the silence that follows is actually filled with you crying again and Jaemin nods his head. It's either you had a bad dream or the president gave you something. “Can we talk about it?”
“No.” You say.
Jaemin waits outside your door hoping that you can open it up. So he leans his head on the door, softly he speaks. “I don’t know what’ going on. Or what dream you had… but I promise you, it’s all in your head. It’s not real.” He bites his lip. “It may look and feel real, but it's not. I’ve had… I still get a lot of painful dreams. If you got one, and if that’s the reason you’ve stayed away, then I understand. Take as much time as you need. I understand. Although, if you want to talk about it, you can come to me. Alright… I'll be going.” He looks to your door again. A soft yellow. That must be the color of your entire dwelling. He moves away from the door going towards the steps seeing the family down below having diner.
“Bad dreams…” He doesn’t hear the creak to your door opening, but he hears your voice, even thought you’re whispering. He instantly turns back holding onto the stair rail. His heart sinks getting a look at your bloodshot red eyes and frightful facial features. Your hair tied back but still having so many stand outs that are frizzled. “They’re called nightmares.” You can’t even look at him. Your eyes are on the floor and on the wall. “Right?”
Jaemin nods his head, being careful. What did you dream that has you so shaken up? “Right.”
You hold yourself, keeping your eyes on the floor.
“The nightmares aren’t real.” He says, watching you gulp. Your tears getting to your eyes again. “Would you like to show me what you dreamt?”
You freeze a little and shrug your shoulders avoiding his eyes. “How would I do that?” It hurts Jaemin just hearing you speak.
“The same way I do to show you the dreamscapes.” He doesn’t approach you, just in case you’re still reluctant, but he does turn towards you. “My hands, my head, my feet. Whatever you want to show me just-” His attention is snapped elsewhere when hearing… a cry. A rueful, almost awakened cry… but not from you. Which is puzzling. But a baby. He’s about to ask, but hearing footsteps marching up the stairs, Taeyong, Jaemin moves aside as Taeyong hesitantly does an awkward smile. However it completely drops when seeing your state…
Gathering the courage to look up and see your fathers face, has you storming back into your room and shutting the door hard. It makes Chenle and Seulgi downstairs jolt a little, but for Jaemin and Taeyong, they both just feel gloomy. Taeyong clears his throat, carrying on the walk to another room. Jaemin picks up the courage to walk to your room door again. He knocks on it slowly- trying to not startle you.
“Do you still want to show me?” He quietly asks. Standing behind your door, you deeply breathe in and move aside. You pull the door open but only by a crack… looking up gently into Jaemin’s eyes, you recall the nonchalant look in his features as he pulled on your clothes in the dream “What is it? What did you dream?” He asks quietly. “You’re scaring me.” He whispers, his eyes carrying so much baggage of troubles. “Some days ago we were talking and kissing… and now seeing you crying is painful for me. I don’t like seeing you like this, please. Please tell me what’s wrong,”
You move aside opening the door wider. Jaemin exhales carefully and walks into the room. Your father, already having calmed Jisung down watches Jaemin enter the room before it shuts. He takes the news back downstairs, the reminder of your tears still being fresh in his mind. “She let him in her room.”
Jaemin gets accustomed to your plain room. Study table and chair, bed, mirror and a small wardrobe. Nothing much. He sees the books that he gave you on the bed. You take a seat on the chair turning it around and moving it towards you on the bed. He sits some feet opposite you. You’re looking at your hands that’s tightly clamped together. Your knees are pressed shut. Seeing his knees, you begin shuddering again. ‘It’s wasn’t real.’ You remind yourself. In the dream, his knees… kept kneeing rubbing on your… you shake your head sucking in a sharp breath when seeing his hands come in view.
Jaemin calmly stretches out his hands towards you. “Just take my hands… and picture what is it that you dreamt.”
“P-picture it?” You inhale instantly peering into his eyes getting scared. “You want me to… picture it? Re-live it?” You shake your head rapidly. “No.” The tear drops from your eyes and you get up backing away from him. “No way.” You move to the window.
That gets Jaemin anxious. It must’ve been really bad. He waits for you to regain your composure, as you’re breathing in and out, almost hyperventilating. “Okay, just calm down.” He gets up trying to cool you down, helping you breath as you do some breathing exercises. “I’ll go get some water for you, is that cool?”
You nod your head. Jaemin quickly gets out going downstairs seeing the family still around the table eating. Chenle’s curious eyes glaze over every inch of the dreamer in black- staring profusely being in wonder if he fixed his sister. “Is she alright?” Chenle asks before Seulgi or Taeyong can reprimand him.
Jaemin hums out. “Your sister is quite frightened right now. But she’ll be fine. May I get some water?”
“Yes of course,” Taeyong gets up and heads into the kitchen-
“Tap water, if you don’t mind.” Jaemin says getting Taeyong’s attention, who furrows his brows. Community bottled water is the best water. “I don’t trust bottled water.” Jaemin declares.
“But… there’s no other place to put the water?” Taeyong enquires confused, causing Jaemin to recall how they community doesn’t have any mugs, cups or any utensils… Just bottles.
“Shit.” He whispers. “Um, you know what, just empty out the bottle and then put in the tap water.”
Taeyong turns to Seulgi who equally looks baffled, but nods her head. Meanwhile Chenle’s eyes enlarge. “Why don’t you like the bottled water?”
“Chenle eat your food stop talking.” Seulgi warns.
Jaemin still answers. “There's nothing wrong with bottled water. I just don't trust it. Actually, I have a question about the crying baby upstairs. You already have two kids, isn’t it against the law to have a third?”
“Oh, we got clearance for the child. My husband works in the Nurturing Centre and this child didn’t qualify to be a one. The nurses spoke to the Neorist Elder In Nurturing in charge of nursing and she said it was alright for my husband to bring the baby to our dwelling.” She gives off a significant amount of information. Crying baby. That would be the next dreamer. Taking the water from Taeyong who arrives, Jaemin looks back to the family. “I’ll let myself out when I’m done with your daughter. Will that be okay?”
Taeyong and Seulgi nod their heads. Hopefully he could get you to speak up, is what they’re thinking, as Jaemin heads back to your room. They take Chenle to go and inject himself to sleep, they do a checkup on Jisung before heading to the living room to pass time until the accustomed bed time.
“What do you think he’s doing with her?” Taeyong asks, worried, yet also protectively. It’s the first time that someone has actually came to their home, what’s worse, has trapped themselves alone in the room with you. It was only right to feel anxious. You look much more eased, except this time you’re seated on the floor still doing breathing techniques.
He takes a seat right in front of you at a respectable distance. “Drink this,”
Your eyes open up. Your shift back and take the bottle in your hands drinking it.
After a whole minute goes by. You look at Jaemin, inhaling and exhaling. You stick out your hands and Jaemin holds onto them carefully. His body stiffens when actually feeling your entire body tremor just from the contact of skin. “Are you ready?”
You shake your head and blink your tears away. “It’s not real. It’s just all in my head. So… I’ll… trust you- I’ll try.” You gasp out, the pool by your eyes causing Jaemin to hold your hands tightly. You close your eyes concealing the tears. Jaemin too closes his eyes, anticipating anxiously what your dream was…
And damn does he feel anger. He sees you walking at night. You keep looking over your shoulder at him… him being the body he’s possessing in your dream. Whoever this person is. He’s making you uncomfortable. He allows for the movement to carry him, wondering what’s going on. However, as the dream continues with him rapidly following your timid scared self, it escalates into him running after your slow self. He has a bad feeling and knows where the dream is heading. His conscious jumps out of the body wanting to see what you saw- he takes on a ghostly form to view in a third perspective- yet his eyes enlarge as the body Jaemin was possessing gets you in a fierce headlock before dashing and squirming with you to a dark alley. Jaemin watches you struggle- begging the person to stop.
Something about all this is strange… it resembled a dreamscape, but it was a nightmare. He can’t dwell on it longer when you strike up a punch to the man does his hood fall back. He’s surprised to see the face… of the President… before it morphs to HIS OWN FACE! His face as the man who’s now taking advantage of you. He pulls on your clothes- and Jaemin shakes his head instantly jumping back into the body and altering the dream-
He stops himself- taking possession of the dreamscape as his own. He manages to gain control of the narrative- yet…
You’re still stick in shock and trying to get away as you get on your feet and begin running- your mind getting scrambled with the way the dream is going. You try to take control of the dream again as the scene wants to manifest itself- but Jaemin does something that has you breathing out rapidly.
He pauses your dream by snapping his fingers and instantly the dream fades into a black void with your feet being frozen in a run. You notice the darkness all over, except for the floors which turns a misty white. “Don’t worry Y/n, it’s me. It’s me Jaemin.”
“No- no.” However, you’re still stuck in the trance of wanting to show Jaemin the dream- that it’s actually hard to come out of yourself.
Slowly the world Jaemin tries to creates crumbles apart- as you’re back in the alley way running away from the rapist on the floor. Jaemin runs after you- trying to get you to stop. Shit. You aren’t prepared in building dreamscapes yet. Your conscious is colliding with your unconscious. Jaemin can tell that- because as you’re running a duplicate of him runs past him- chasing on you rapidly. He’s shocked out of his mind as a duplicate of him runs so quick and still catches you thrusting you to the corner unveiling your clothes. You begin screaming- and that has Jaemin enraged. He pounces on the duplicate of him punching him in the face- the duplicate falls down but gets up with no injury ignoring him and trying to get your pants off-
This isn’t good. Jaemin tries to wake you up. Your dreamscape is getting chaotic! Another duplicate of him comes out and drags him- he tries to fight it- but that only has another duplicate of himself coming to hold him down as others emerge and run to you on the ground pulling on your clothes- he can hear you screaming and he tries- so hard to try and control the dreamscape- but he’s failing- which is unreal because he can’t fail. Despite you being weak- it seems like this dream is run by an unconscious side of you.
It's when he opens up his eyes in the real world, do his ears pop when hearing you screaming non-stop! “Y/n!” He yells out your name. “Shit!” He lets go of your hands shaking you vigorously and roughly trying to wake you up from the powerful dreamscape landscape you’ve created. He’s so deep in trying to shake you up that he doesn’t notice when Taeyong and Seulgi stand shocked by the door hearing you scream.
Jaemin gets the bottle of water tossing it on your face- but you continue screaming. “Wake up!” Jaemin yells out seeing as you’re now shaking your head- living the nightmare in reality. You begin fighting him but he’s got such a tight grip on you that he doesn’t allow you to hit his face as he grabs your arms. “Wake up!” You’re quick to kick him- your conscious feeling all these hands- all of Jaemins duplicates and their hands on you. “It’s not real!” He keeps yelling out but then you kick him as you get up on your feet.
Your mother and father run inside your room trying to assist Jaemin in catching you- but you’re so strong that you literally punch your mother’s face and kick your father- still screaming and hyperventilating. To think that it was past 8 p.m. but they were still awake in hopes to ask Jaemin questions after he was done. And if they were caught they would easily explain that the dreamer was in there dwelling. So they watched the street lamps turn off, they watched their own house lights turn off and for the first time, they held each other’s hands in some sort of… consoling way. Everything was silent. That’s until they heard you screaming- they ran up the steps and plunged into your room- but the scene of your erratic behavior shocked and almost paralyzed them on the spot. It’s not when Jaemin splashed you with water- did they unfreeze and move.
But now Taeyong attends to Seulgi who cowers back and watches you in horror losing your mind while holding onto her cheek that was painful. Jaemin manhandles you with so much force before pinning you on the bed and digging into his pocket for something to keep you still! You’re not prepared for the magnitude of the shock that jolts all of your molecules shocking you – electricity going up all over your body.
Jaemin pants out when seeing you pass out from being tazzered down.
“What happened?” Seulgi asks.
“Did you just release our daughter?” Taeyong asks out horrified.
Jaemin looks back to your parents on the ground before cursing out. “Fuck.” He breathes out and stands up placing the tazzer back in his jacket. The only time he used this was to wake himself up from nightmares. “Right now. Go and sleep. Before I-”
“Please stand by for an announcement.” Jaemin snaps his head to the little injection monitor in your room, however it speaks out. "Good night Mr Taeyong, good night Mrs Seulgi.” This time some gas sprays out of the monitor and by an instant when Taeyong and Seulgi sniff it, they collapse in sleep straight on the floor. “Dreamer Jaemin, you have to run- the President is on his way to this dwelling. You need to hide Y/n from him.”
Jaemin notices that the announcement isn’t coming from everywhere, just in your room in a hushed robotic voice. Clearly something fishy is happening. He carries you on his back cursing out when he goes out the door and sees a black vehicle. Great. “Just my fucking luck.” He shakes his head when seeing the backseat open. Despite the cars being removed in all communities… this mysterious black car belonged to only one person. It was kept away from any preying eyes and would only drive at night.
President Johnny.
Getting in the car, Jaemin’s not surprised when he sees Johnny holding onto the wheel. That means whoever made the announcement was trying to protect you. “I would ask you why you're here, but I've got a better idea. Be a gentleman and close the door.”
Jaemin secures you in hug as he places your head on his chest, before closing the door. As they leave, they don’t hear the wailing cry of the baby Jisung.
-
Community 1. This is the place they took your mother. The community specialized in punishing peopling. Jail, as others called it.
Jaemin and your unconscious body are strapped on chairs opposite each other in a white wide circular room. It’s large. There is nothing in the room. Just pure white. Contrasting to Jaemin’s black attire. You’re in your white pajama pants and shirt sitting opposite from Jaemin. Jaemin can only stare at you, wondering what will happen here. Would this be how they'd punish you both?
The doors open and in walks Johnny. Jaemin’s jaw clinches as his tongue circles his mouth, only glaring at Johnny. “Welcome to the punishment internment zone.” Johnny walks towards you. Pulling your hair back adjusts your head upright. “That tazzer surely is strong. She needs to be awake for her punishment.”
“What did you do to her?”
“I tried scaring her into running away from being a Dreamer. I wonder why you want to give up being a Dreamer, if it's because of me then I promise I'll stop having pleasure.” Johnny speaks.
Jaemin rolls his eyes. “That's what you're saying but after seeing her dream, I believe you've done something far worse. Involving those serums."
Johnny smirks. "You've got no proof. It was her friend that gave her the medication for the pain to relieve her from the pain she’s endured. It was her decision to drink it.”
“Pain medication? What bull are you talking- you let others do your dirty work and in the end feign ignorance. That's criminal.” Jaemin’s eyebrows furrow when releasing something. His eyes enlarge. Paid medication? As in the same one they gave Mark-
“Truth be told. I don’t think she’s cut out to be a Dreamer. You're the best one we have. You allow us to do what we want.” He mentions, massaging your unconscious shoulders. “The same way I didn’t think Mark was suited to be one because he always targetted to get me out of power.”
Jaemin grates his teeth.
Just in time, you grunt and move in your seat pinching your eyes closed tightly before they flatter open. Your eyes coming to full of distress when the scenery of your house has changed- Jaemin’s in hand cuffs but so are you.
“Oh rise and shine. Welcome back.” Johnny greets cheerfully.
“Jaemin…” You whisper slowly trembling upon recalling the last memory you had… you saw him… him and several clones. He tried fighting them off trying… to protect you… help you but… they were overpowering. But seeing him now being cuffed to the chair you turn to the side. Your face is laced with surprise when seeing the President.
“Thank you for being obedient in drinking the medication that Jeno gave you.” Johnny pulls out a syringe with a blood red liquid. Jaemin watches with wide eyes as Johnny injects walks towards him. Jaemin is defenseless and tries to duck himself but Johnny is quick in sticking the needle violently on his neck. No sooner than later, your eyes watch in shock at the way Jaemin’s eyes frizzle and become dizzy… instead of looking like he’s alive… he looks out of it. Emotionless in a way he’s never looked before. “Unfortunately, Dreamer Y/n. Your course ends here. Thank you for your time in the communities.” Johnny nods his head pretending to sympathize. “Oh yes I forget to tell him.” He looks to Jaemin’s drugged out face. “Her punishment will be pleasure. Done by you. You called it non-consenting rape, I believe. Well, you're the one with the dreamscapes. Show me how it's done. That way you and I will become two peas in a pod.”
"Jaemin." You call onto Jaemin’s name, but he barely even blinks looking dull and empty.
You just woke up. You don’t know what the hell is going on. But judging from what Johnny is saying, all you can think about is that ‘medication’ you drank… you believe it’s what gave you that nightmare… and seeing as it’s the same injection that Johnny used to place in Jaemin’s neck, your heart begins beating fast.
Johnny leaving the room wishes you luck. The doors close behind him, however once they close the door, the cuffs on Jaemin’s hands and yours are undone.
Not even a quick second passes but you’re thrown off your chair by a heavy backhand slap from him. “No. Jaemin please stop it-” you tremble. Jaemin’s hands aren’t giving out. You try not to cry out loud by his gripping force. He’s very masculine. Very strong and his hands really hurt when they’re on your body.
You try to punch but he dodges while mindlessly trying to fulfill the desire of the blood red liquid serum… Which is to fill you non-consenting pleasure. Jaemin tries to get a hold of your hands and he does but you panic and chuck his groan with your knee- he grunts and slaps your face again grabbing your neck as you cry out grabbing his arms.
“Jaemin stop!” You attempt to hit his arm that doesn’t budge- so you punch his throat. And he gurgles causing him to let you go but only for a second- you grab his shirt just as he grabs your hair and yanks you so hard on the floor getting on top of you. “Jaemin please.” You cry out when he pins your arms above your head. You’re squirming and crying trying to knee him, but his position seems impenetrable. Vital points. Neck. Chest. Heart. You keep swinging trying to get your arms free- but in that motion he violently grabs your chin and dives to kiss your lips. You hear him moan and it just doesn't feel right, like the first time. “Jaemin-” you get out of his lips for a second before he forces them back on you- “Snap out of it!” You yell. He holds onto your hands hard, his other hand going down the sides of your body. You can only squirm. The outcome of this has two possibilities. With either him hurting you… or you hurting him. You give up and cry out, letting your eyes linger on his face as he kisses violently down your neck stealing a lot of your whimpers with such brute force. “Jaemin please stop…” You whisper but he doesn’t stop.
The nightmare relives again but this time you know it’s real. He removes your shirt by grabbing it's fabric and tearing it off violently. You cry when he grabs your covered boob before his hand swims down and he stuffs his hands inside your pants. “No please stop!” You shake your head. “You’d never do it, because you know what love is." You don’t feel it, but Jaemin’s tongue sucking on your neck stops for a bit before he continues. Meanwhile, you shut your eyes tightly professing how he’d never do it. “You wouldn’t hurt me like this. You wouldn’t hurt me Jaemin- because I know you love me. You said it's sacred. That love making is sacred. Done by people who love each other. Jaemin," you whimper out a cry. "Jaemin. Jaemin please, I love you, I love you so much, please don't do this to me - Jaemin please stop.”
His hands hesitate over yours and you take that quick hesitation to break your hands free- but instead of trying to punch him or get away you grab his face away from your neck.
“Jaemin I love you," you whimper out with tears in your eyes. Jaemin's eyes bore into yours deadly. He watches the broken glass look in your eyes as you speak softly to him. "P-please wake up. Please wake me up. I love you. It's okay, I promise you in real. I'm not a dream. I love you. I love you so much." Jaemin tries to move his head- but you hold him tighter. "Jaemin please- don’t take advantage of the good we have. Please. You told me that. That we can’t have good because only one person will turn it bad. Please don’t be that person. Please… show me that you love me, by waking up from this dream. Wake up. Please.”
That has Jaemin stopping- the words hitting his head.
“Please…” He looks up to your eyes… his brain slowly clouding back to his rightful senses. He's erratic breathing slowly bringing him back. Your thumb moves to his lips as you continue to beg. Jaemin's lips kiss your thumb. The tears by your eyes don’t lie as you beg him again. “Please Jaemin, don’t do it.” And instantly he gets off you panting wildly. He can feel his fingers shaking, his whole body trembling… the thought of Mark passing over his head again. When Johnny strapped Mark over the chair, he gave Jaemin a red liquid serum that altered his thoughts to make him act out Mark’s worst fear. Jaemin beat Mark up so badly that after waking up the next day he heard that Mark ended his own life. So seeing you, still on the ground trying to cover yourself again- Jaemin looks at his hands. He can’t believe that the President did it again. Used his own body to harm another person. “Jaemin…?”
His head snaps up to your voice. “I’m sorry.” His voice breaks into a trembling cry. “I’m sorry.” He backs up again and shields himself. This is why he wanted to be released… he didn’t want to experience his body being used again. He recalls how he beat up Mark mercilessly almost to death, almost to a palp. And now you… he almost raped you.
“Jaemin,” He feels too ashamed to look up at your face. He hurt you. “Jaemin, please look at me.”
He doesn’t. But it doesn’t stop you from slowly… warmly wrapping your arms around him. You hold him so tight that you lay your head on his… “I’m so sorry..”
“It’s okay.” You tenderly smile.
“This is why I wanted to die. It's not the first time he's used me like this.” He shakes his head. “I can’t keep hurting those I care about. First it was my family. And then my friend. And now you…”
“It wasn’t you Jaemin. It was a nightmare.” Your hand lays on the side of his face as you tilt your head trying to get him to look at you. “To think it’s happened to people in the past by those they love must’ve been really frantic. The heartbreak of trusting someone you love and then they hurt you… Now I can imagine the pain you keep to yourself and endure.”
“That’s not even half of it.” He looks down. “It doesn’t change the fact that I hurt you.”
“It’s not your fault. It’s the fault of the person who injected you. The person in power.” You say with anger towards Johnny. “He’ll be damned if he tries to do that again.”
“I love you," he blinks away the tears when seeing perfect love in your eyes. "That's what this community lacks. The world was made with love. Without love everything is dull… You, literally saved me with love." He holds you again in his arms and you engulf in him. "I'm still sorry. We need to get out of here and inform the Neorists of Johnny’s erratic behavior. Because if I see him I’ll give him a piece of my mind and that might land me to be released.”
Your head snaps to the door as it opens up. Thinking it’s Johnny, Jaemin gets in front of you ready to fight, but instead it’s Haechan. “Haechan?” You peek from behind Jaemin.
“I’ll explain later, but you have to leave now.” He looks back to the passage before looking at you and Jaemin again. Jaemin removes his leather jacket and helps you put it on.
Haechan helps you escape from the punishment room and out of Community 1. He helps you and Jaemin to his piloting drone and flies high up in the night sky. He explains how Jeno told him that the President gave him a weird serum to give Y/n. He explains that Jeno felt that the President acted weird when giving him the serum. And Haechan too admits to watching the President drive to your house for three days and nearly tried to do something bad with you. And the fourth time when the president tried again, this time he was glad that Jaemin was there.
With his drone he followed the president and saw him violate multiple rules. With protocol, Haechan is supposed to write out a warning, but seeing as it was the President, he didn’t know what to do. Thankfully, Jaemin tells him to report it to the Neorists and hopefully they’ll make a judgement call. With Y/n and him being witnesses, there’s no way Johnny will escape this.
"You've got yourself good friends." Jaemin comments, after Haechan lands by the edge of community 7, by Jaemin's house. "They treat you more like a sister then their love interest. Rest up, I'll be back."
Leaving you at his place in the comforts of his lively nature filled room, with the glass wall showing the beauty of nature, you're able to rest up. He heads to your family dwelling at exactly 6 a.m. to just report that you’re alright and that the events of last night will be rectified, that they should just continue on as normal. But after he’s done he comes back to his place, already seeing you sitting up on his bed in one of his shirts and sweatpants. He sits on the edge of the bed biting his lip when looking at your attire.
“What’s going to happen now?” You ask.
Trying not to get distracted, especially after recalling the things he did to you unconsciously, he clears his throat. “If your buddy Haechan has done his part well in reporting back what he saw to his elder, then the Neorsits will call for a meeting. But if he hasn’t done that, then I’ll have to go and report what I saw myself. Having a community member report a crime is better because it means that the Neorist Elders will be forced to rectify the mistake. They’ll decide on the fate of the President.” Jaemin says. “From there, a ruling will be made, it’s either they’re going to put him out of power and president-ship, or release him. With what he did I’m sure those will be the only options.”
Just then they both hear a loud ‘ding dong’. “I guess your buddy did his part. Someone’s here to call me for the meeting… Do you…” He looks into your eyes. The same eyes that looked at him with so much love… Are looking back at him, with even more love. “I know it’s all so sudden, but do you want to come with me?” He looks in between your eyes. The way you cried last night really pulled a toll on him. He wants to make up for his actions, by proving to you how much he loves you. He wants to actually stay with you and hope that perhaps… with Johnny out of power… his fate as a Dreamer will change.
“What happens when they release him?” You question. “Will someone else be elected as president?”
“Yes.” He nods his head. “One of the Neorists of course.”
-
“Dreamer Jaemin,” One of the Neorist elders, Jaehyun, the commander of justice calls onto Jaemin. “Would you care to give us your verdict. Our choices are inconclusive. 3 out of 10 prefer that President Suh remains in power, reasons due to how sufficient he has been in ruling the communities. They argue that he might have seen Y/n as a failure because of her actions. Another 3 out of 10, myself included, are in favor of casting the President out of leadership, due to one too many scandals across various of communities, such as invading privacy, manipulating rules, involving himself in illegal serum testing and many more. And finally the last 3 out of 10 prefer for the community to make the final decision because this is the President of all communities, they’re claim is that the community deserves to know. We have all made our claims, it’s up to you to weigh out the decisions, and rule out what we will not do and give your final judgement. On the case of President Suh Johnny, what will we as the body of Neorists do?”
Sitting in the large meeting room with a wooden brown table in the center and all the Neorists sitting around it, you can feel the urgency of the matter as you sit next to Jaemin. If this is what it’s always looked like when making decision, you understood why Jaemin always had a cold face. To intimidate the board of Neorists sitting down. Aside from you, there’s only one woman in the panel, The lady in charge of Nurturing in all communities. She’s the only member with a kind face. Other than that, the other men have serious faces looking ready to argue back with Jaemin.
“My Dreamer has done nothing wrong except heed to his instructions. He specifically said the community cannot afford another failure. It’s the reason why I’ve taken my time in training her. Would you prefer that I rushed and she actually turned to betray the community the way he has? In the matter that President Suh should remain in power is just stupid. A community member, two of them have reported suspicious activities.” Jaemin says firmly leaning back on his seat. “Time and time again, we have sat in this room with the President. We’ve all seen how chaotic he's gotten. For his own personal amusement, he did as he pleased. If it’s really up to me, with every single crime that he has committed, I’d have him released. He doesn’t deserve to be our leader. That’s my call. I wouldn’t say it’s the final judgement, I’m leaving that up to you.”
It’s dead silent as Jaemin is done talking.
“What about you Y/n,” Jaemin turns to you, although his face is still rough with his cold demeanor, his eyes do soften entirely when addressing you. “Do you have anything you want to add? Now is your chance-”
“Excuse me, she can’t speak. We don’t let nonmembers-”
“Mind you Elder, whether you like it or not, she’s the next Dreamer." Jaehyun speaks to the elder who stepped out of line. Saving Jaemin from fighting alone. "You’ll soon be taking orders from her.” Jaehyun looks at you. You stiffen up. “What about you Dreamer in training? Do you have anything to say?” The question is so stern out of his mouth. Wow. Being here really makes you see how tough and firm Jaemin has to be in order to get his point through. Thank goodness he hasn’t started swearing.
You snap out of your thoughts while feeling Jaemin’s knee budge into yours- probably his indication for you to speak fast. “Oh. Uh. Well, after the months I’ve spent training, I found it hard to believe that everyone is taught to follow and obey the rules within our community, but our very own President hadn't done that. In order to eliminate discrimination, envy, jealousy, supremacy, hate and plainly anything different. While we’ve eliminated pain, hunger, and other negatives, we’ve also eliminated love… and freedom of choice. President Suh exercised his freedom of choice, and I think… it’s only fair if everyone gets a chance to also exercise their freedom of choice.”
“So what I’m hearing is that you want the community to decide his fate?” One Neorist says- not having understood what you said.
“That’s not what I said.”
Meanwhile Jaehyun and a few others who have an idea of what you’ve said consider your words. “So, what are you trying to say?”
You turn to Jaemin and he nods his head once. “What you decide to do with the president has nothing to do with me, my concern is the aftermath. Going forward, in order to prevent what President Suh did in future, we need a new President, who embodies the right qualities. And can lead us well."
"Who do you have in mind?" The female Nurturing Elder asks. "Because I too would like to see President Suh out of power and our community actually thriving on something."
"Plus you mentioned love." Jaehyun speaks. "I speak for us all when I say, we don't know wat that is."
"Then the person who knows what it is, should rule over the communities. And break us from a box that we've created." You turn to Jaemin- and Jaemin tries to ignore the odd cliche memories sipping into his thoughts, but he finds your words very gracious and generous. You smile. "With love, you'll see how the community will flourish in a different way." You continue speaking as if you're not just talking to the Neorist Elders, but to him specifically. "Love can change our perception of the world around us, as well as our view of ourselves. If we can bring that feeling back, then we'll have true peace. Compassion."
You turn your gaze onto him, eyes glittering with excitement. It's clear to Jaemin that you're more than eager to share these ideas with the Elders. Jaemin's heart feels relieved as he thinks about your dreams. He wants those too. And maybe, just maybe, love may be what can make the world worth living in again. Aside from that, your presence already makes him want to live longer, by your side.
#nct dream imagine#nct dream na Jaemin x reader#nct jaemin x reader#jaemin x reader#nct dream jaemin#na jaemin x reader#nct jaemin smut#nct imagine#nct jaemin scenario#nct dream romance#nct Jaemin longshot#nct long shot#nct longshot#NCT dream long shot#jaemin angst#strangers to lovers#nct dreamscape#nct dream
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Requesting jisung type of boyfriend<3
jisung ♡ is the type of boyfriend to ... ⁺
jisung soft hours & headcanons. all are fictional.
pairing: park jisung x fem!reader
genre: romance, fluff
requested by anon !
author's notes: i didn't expect y'all loving the chenle soft hours post SO MUCH that someone actually requested to do a jisung one !!*#(!$ i'm so glad y'all liked it, i appreciate going onto tumblr and getting bombarded with lots of notifications :> anywayyyy, i hope y'all enjoy this jisung version (i tried brainstorming sm i'm trying to think what type of boyfriend jisung is atp)
also! i had to use a header for the pic cuz the two pics layout wasn't working TT
jisung is the type of boyfriend to be all so quiet & shy whenever he's outside or in public, whispering and talking to you softly in crowded places, but becomes flirty and affectionate towards you when he's with you at home! he loves to tell you affectionate pickup lines, making you blush whenever you two cuddle on the bed you two share.
"come here, pretty." jisung says as he reaches his hands out for you, convincing you to come to him and lay down beside him. you were too flustered to say no, as you dove to the bed and hugged him. you can feel him ruffling your hair, whispering to you as he softly whispers, "i don't care if your hair looks bad or your makeup looks bad. all that matters to me is that you're beautiful to my eyes. is that clear, pretty?"
jisung is the type of boyfriend to be very clingy once he puts his arms around you. he tries to resist the urge of not wrapping his arms around you but fails when he sees you around the apartment. just by he look on his face, it's obvious that he wants to cuddle you or snuggle up on you while you do stuff around the apartment.
"ji, not now..." you sigh as you slice vegetables on the kitchen counters, being barely able to move as he's fully latched onto you while you're trying to cook. jisung whines, shaking his head as he refuses. you sigh, trying your best to push him off as you can't move while he's hugging you tightly. "why, baby? you don't want my hugs?" he asks, pouting as he hugs you even tighter.
jisung is the type of boyfriend to spend all his free time to watch you do something. he doesn't care if he has games to play with his friends, or if he has something to do that's due tomorrow, all he wants to see is you do or play something because, according to him, he likes to watch you ace an activity. he's always your no. 1 supporter.
"ji... don't you have something to do?" you ask as you work, being concentrated and determined at the output that you'll submit later. jisung is in front of you, watching you as he shakes his head, fixing his position as his eyes are still fixated on you while you work. "i do but, i don't really care, i just wanna watch you work."
jisung is the type of boyfriend to kiss you any chance he gets. even if you're sleeping after a tired day, or even if you're doing something important. as long as he gets the urge or the chance to, his lips will land anywhere─ your lips, your knuckles, cheek, or forehead.
"adorable..." jisung mumbles, kissing your forehead 2 times as you slept on his arms peacefully after a long, tiring day. he smiles at you, taking your hand from his chest as he intertwines your fingers with his, kissing your knuckles while you sleep. "goodnight, pretty. i love you."
©️ 200markies / jyanihaes, 2024
#park jisung#park jisung fluff#park jisung romance#jisung romance#jisung fluff#nct fluff#nct dream fluff#kpop fluff#kpop x reader#nct x reader#park jisung x reader#park jisung fic#park jisung ff#park jisung soft hours#jisung soft hours#jisung ff#jisung fic#jisung x reader#nct jisung#nct soft hours#nct dream soft hours#kpop soft hours#nct fic#nct ff#nct headcanons#nct scenarios#park jisung scenarios#jisung scenarios#jisung headcanons#park jisung headcanons
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an insight in a relationship with the dreamies ౨ৎ
౨ৎ boyfriend texts!!
avoiding dreamies when u like them.
rich boyfriend.
older reader x bf dreamies.
waking up alone.
panicking abt a late night walk.
“yeah and i wanna be your gf soo..”
dreamies vs your period.
being friends w your ex.
“would u rather kiss me or…”
“ur mom”
asking dreamies to go out.
“miss your face..”
dreamies vs clingy gf
“what would u do if someone asked me out?”
౨ৎ cute + fluffy texts!!
simping over the dreamies.
“everytime u call me baby i wanna marry u”
dreamies when you’re injured.
“thank you for making me feel so loved.”
when you’re feeling insecure.
dropping everything for you.
dreamies waking up alone.
calling dreamies pretty boy.
౨ৎ angsty texts!!
messages from ex dreamies.
messages from ex dreamies ii.
purposely ignoring dreamies.
purposely ignoring dreamies ii.
storming out after a fight.
dreamies messaging their ex.
౨ৎ nsfw + jealous texts!!
jealous dreamies iv.
jealous dreamies v.
jealous dreamies vi.
jealous fwb dreamies.
trying to move on from dreamies.
stranded by your date (bff dreamies)
sending risky pics.
“how many times can u make me orgasm?”
“let me tie a ribbon on it 🎀”
౨ৎ prank + funny texts!!
kiss mark on shirt prank.
girl math.
“what position y’all in rn??”
ignoring dreamies after saying ily.
dreamies buying you tampons.
pretending to be another girl & texting dreamies.
sending song lyrics to dreamies.
asking dreamies to a gg concert.
“he’s busy rn”
“we’d be a great couple.”
౨ৎ idol bf texts!
jealous texts.
angsty texts i.
kissing someone else for a drama.
“would you leave me for another idol?”
giving ur number @ fansign.
dreamies x mistreated idol! gf
shipped w another idol.
attending diff idol fancall.
dreamies + gg concert.
sending you a gift.
#nct dream#nct scenarios#nct fanfic#nct drabbles#mark lee#na jaemin#lee donghyuck#lee jeno#zhong chenle#huang renjun#park jisung#romance#nct fluff#nct texts#nct#nct 127#nct fic#nct fic recs#nct fake texts#nct social au#social media#nct imagines#nct x oc#nct x reader#nct x y/n#nct x you
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Secret Room. Jaemin
"What happened that night, should stay between us. I don't know you and you don't know me. Got it?"
PAIRING. husband!Na Jaemin x detective intern!Reader
SUMMARY. Na Jaemin. A decent young respectable business man, husband, father and family affair man. He's idolized, admired, and highly praised with high esteem within his social circle. However, his morally perfect world falls apart when getting entangled with you in a one night stand. One lustfully pleasing night together doesn’t prepare you for the chaos that soon follows when Jaemin is accused of murdering his daughter. The crazy thing, is that you know he didn't do it, because he was with you that night, but now you’re tasked with writing a report on his innocence guilt.
WARNINGS. Mentions of: Death (both minor and heavy), Smut (including and not limited to cheating, heavy/soft intercourses, pussy eating kink, foreplay, dry humping, dom and sub con, consensual etc.) And Cursing (minor use)
GENRE. Longshot! Side chick and husband romance. Cheating scandal. Strangers to lovers(?) Angst yet lively. Gore but only towards the end. Twisted cheating romance.
You've been an intern detective writer for more over 9 months now and you're extremely prideful in the work you do. Being able to 'have eyes at the back of your head' or being known as 'sharp’ is an esteemed word and/or phrase that your higher executives prefer to use when describing you. Maybe you're selfish and tend to be heavily guarded, and perhaps even self centered, however- as you see everything and nothing gets past you, you're surprised how you let a man slip right through your rib cage and straight into your soul.
With that title in head, you should've known from the moment you stumbled through the unfamiliar door, that the man you were about to fuck was a father, a husband. Of course the signs weren't there when you entered the dark house, when you began making out radically and bumping left and right into things. The signs weren't there, however the wall you pushed him against had a framed picture of him wearing an adorned suit and a lady dressed in heavenly white. You could only make out her smile as it was too dark, but something in you told you she was his. You should've stopped, but the need to satisfy your craving was so strong. You continued to suck his face off as he ran his hands up your waist to unzip the zipper of your tightened leather black dress. You laughed into the kiss as he gripped your flesh underneath your thigh and sat your body up onto a dresser which made you slightly elevated- you aligned yourself in a position where your lips would still be attached as your hands roamed his dark hair while he began pulling your strapless dress down. His eyes, star gaze with a black hole of lust, looked up into your own thirsty sinister eyes after taking in the view of your nudity, of you not wearing underwear.
"Very naughty," he laughed instantly diving for your thighs with sloppy and hungry kiss bites. "Can I?"
"Anything you want Mr Big Shot,"
As his slippery tongue meets up with your heated core you buck up into his face moaning out aloud, your whole body radiating with pleasure. Your arms shoot back trying to maintain your balance against the dresser- that you don't notice when you knock over more framed pictures. The framed pictures consists of a young girl being held tightly and wrapped in the arms of her loving parents, another photo is of the man and his wife smiling after a graduation they had attended for their daughter finishing pre school and the last two of the man's daughter starting out in her first grade and winning an award. The shattering sounds of the frames are covered by the loud gasping moan that leave your lips. You're groaning out the married man's name.
A name which you've only learnt an hour ago, yet someone else who's learnt it for a far longer period- tries as hardest as they can to scream it out. Trying to scream out (without a clue of how) for help. Tears spread across the eyes of the watcher as blood drips from their forehead, and clogs the person's throat, while they still try so hard to scream out the name. "Abah-"
"Ahh~" However, you, eluded with pleasure passionately yell out his name only making him laugh and the vibration coursing all around your body. "Jaemin don't stop," You breathe, gasping out when your legs begin to shake. Although he pulls his moist lips and tongue away from your core, they travel up your navel to your breast before finally getting to your neck just as he unfastens his belt and prepares his hard shaft for your entrance. He picks you up by your thighs again, balancing your body weight against the dresser. His hips are hard and fast paced when slamming straight into you. You arch your back just as his teeth grunt out by how warm and soft you feel inside of him, his eyes erotically shut by how good you feel against him while he continues placing sweet bites on your chest. Being overwhelmed by pleasure you shut your eyes tightly as his eyes roam down your figure. His thumbs playing with your nipples at the same time trying to ravage the dress off your body.
"Feels good, doesn't it?" You pant out. "I still don't believe this is your first time. You're a professional,"
"Not my first time," Jaemin breaks s smile from his pleasured erotic face. "But I've never had it like this, you feel so good,"
"I know," You moan out, straining your eyes to stay open and fixed on his sensational gaze, but your eyes shut in ecstasy.
His voice raspy and hot rhetorically edging you on, fucking you dumb and senseless that you can barely open up your eyes. His eyes are all over your face, his hands patting your head gently running his fingers through your hair. "You're so warm."
Jaemin thrusts hard into you, sweat dripping down the middle of his back and forming on patches of his forehead. The last time he went this hard, was probably too far into his past to collect, (too far and way back) however tonight, being balls deep into your core and feeling his own heart emulate with so much pleasure. His lips press onto the side of your neck, while burying himself deeply into your throbbing and clinching core as his hand grip hard onto your skin.
Your eyes flatter open, but all you can see are stars in the darkened room before your eyes roll to the back of your head. "Oh my soul," you pant out, still feeling him, squeezing him, the surge of pleasure coating your entire being.
When meeting him at the bar, you immediately wanted to fuck him. However, he intrigued you by his way of talking and you ended up... indulging into the conversation, sharing and actually getting to know him. That's why, as he's thrusting with layers of passion, and you feel just how much he wants you, you know just how much he needs this. He mentioned his life being surrounded by doing things for others, that he never got to do anything for himself. You couldn't relate, however after engaging with him and sorta trying to to understand him (which was out of character for you) you really wanted to satisfy him especially since it's what he wanted.
His whole body is attentive to you and you can absolutely feel just how concentrated he is. Him caring for you and solely taking time to please you- especially after getting to know him, only makes you want to treasure his heart. It's not everyday a random stranger pours out their soul and actually gets you to listen. Most of the time, if someone didn't give you what you wanted, you wouldn't spare a second on them. Yet somehow you feel open to this man...
He feels so good to you. It's so good that you lose your mind when you're suddenly picked up and placed carefully against the couch and he's in you once again.
He takes his time, not fast as before, yet with the same passion his lips kiss every part of your body. He carefully calls out your name, whispering how good you feel, how soft your body is, how inviting you are and how glad he is to have met you. He's so engrossed in praising you, and it's so contagious that you pass on the same praises as you get down on your knees taking your turn in making him feel special.
He deserves an award. You make sure that as you suck him off, that your eyes are on his gorgeous ones, blessing him with the sight of how good you feel sucking him off. He bites his lips panting out softly. You watch as the pleasure builds up in his face. His hand passes through your hair when you go deeper on his shaft and your tongue glaze over his balls. His toes are clinching together and his teeth are so tight on his lip that he throws his neck back in ecstasy when feeling the blood. You're taking him in so well that it takes everything in him not to bust in your mouth- your warm mouth that salivates as you gag onto him using your hand as well to pump him up and down as you start choking yourself on his dick.
His grip that's on your hair gets tighter that he lets go afraid of hurting you- instead his hips have a mind of their own especially when thrusting up into your mouth a bit more faster then your original pace. He squeezes onto the chair but you take a hold of his hand allowing him to squeeze you instead. With one hand in his and the other supporting you in stroking him, you're sure that he's holding himself in to not let go yet. You go faster and faster, his timid groans growing louder and deeper and his grip gets tighter and harder, the pressure rising and creating tight knots that-
"Shit!"
He squirts out in plentiful flows of passion. His eyes adjust to the new found bliss, his body relaxes into the new sensation of pleasure and his dick moves on its own with happiness- jolting and twitching. It leaves his dick in streams and long strokes that makes him shocked by his own cum. Or maybe he's so shocked by how well you open up your mouth and stick out your tongue, not allowing a single sperm to leave your mouth. His wife would never. You swallow down the salty flavored goo and laugh out by his worn out appearance.
"Have you never been sucked before?" He shakes his head with stars still in his eyes as he tries to catch his breath. You smile and rub his knees as the desire and urge takes over you to take over him when his member comes to life again. "Well Jaemin, I'm gonna make you feel so good tonight. Do you wanna feel good?"
He doesn't even know how to respond, but with the way his member jolts forward again you read his excited eyes and go on.
Another round of his passion oozing out of him and dropping onto you, has you feeling really special and lucky. You've gratefully caught a big pot of gold with Jaemin. You both can't stop moaning out each other's name. Your bodies merging so well and instantly that you feel almost delusional and believe you've found the one. You can't help it, you've never experienced a one night stand like this. It started out as talking and then fucking for pleasure, but now you're joined and connected on the couch as if you were blissfully talking as you were in the bar. You feel as though you are carved for him, that your body was carved for him alone. You both explore different positions and even have him eat you out again- it's something he really wanted to try and you told him to do as he pleased because truly he deserved all the pleasure. After all, you both wanted to benefit something from this one night stand. If you were being honest, it was more then a one night stand. You felt joint t him.
With the way you both aligned, you can't help but want to give him your number, just so that he can hit you up whenever. You'd surely fall on your knees for him again. And you can't say that for everybody.
After half an hour of going down on each other and filling each other up with your fluids, you're resting on the long couch against Jaemin's chest with his arms wrapped around you- securing you.
The lights are on. They're slightly dimmed down.
Your arms hold him around his torso as you bask in the silence and soft lullaby of your breaths. Your warm bodies heating each other up. Your legs tangle again with his, loving the feel of having him so close to you. His eyes are shut drifting in and out of sleep, while yours are open. He wants to compliment you at how great you were without sounding too strange or being delusional, so he tries his best to look for the words.
Meanwhile your eyes are suddenly dead open and panned to a photo frame on the wall. You were simply staring at the photo thinking of how great Jaemin was that you didn't pay mind to the photo... until you saw the smile of the woman in the photo.
The photo... he's happily looking down at the petite shining woman with beautiful short brown hair. Like you stated, you knew he was married because of the photos that kept looking at you while you both fucked. But you didn't really think he was married!
You're absolutely gutted upon seeing the photos. Your eyes roam around to see what else you can find, and surely the living room is packed with photos on different sides. Not only of the lady that seems to be his wife, but of a young girl. Your lips tremble in anger and you close your eyes.
You hate the feeling you're feeling for only now realizing that he is a married man and you've slept with him. A married man with a child. It's only now that you feel an odd object on his left hand. It must be his ring. Fuck. The feeling of guilt, shame and deception wash over you that you slowly retreat your hands from his torso.
You hate being in this position. The position of being a middle woman.
You aren't a middle woman- yet you've been in this position one too many times. But unlike the other times, you don't leave right away. You want to know why. Why he'd cheat?
Well... assuming his wife isn't dead or he didn't divorce. You'd feel so much more better that he's single, but with the pictures around and the ring on his finger, you don't want to fool yourself. His warm chest and bulging arms have you in a state of warmth feeling safe, yet his deceitful nature makes you feel dirty and raw. Does he hold his wife like this, or is it only you?
"Jaemin," You call softly onto his name, hearing him hum out in the same silk like voice as yours. He's surely feeling too peaceful around you, because the second he hums out, his hands trace your back again and he plants a kiss on the top of your head.
"Yes?"
"Did you enjoy it?"
His low chuckle is from the inside, it gurgles out of him and you can tell there's a smile on his face- a large one that is. He nods his head, licking his lips. He still doesn't have any words for how satisfied he is feeling, but since you've brought it up, his lips are running even before he can think. "I really did. It felt so good- in fact you felt so good. I can't explain it in words, but I.... The best I've had in years, actually,"
You're left speechless. Completely speechless. If you didn't know about his wife, you'd feel good that you did a go job, you'd even take it a step further and ask if he wanted to hook up more with you- because surely tonight, a bond was made.
Except you don't want any part of him, knowing he's got his own.
"Where's your wife?"
Your question forces his eyes to stop wondering and to snap back into a distressed reality. He isn't expecting that.
Your tone isn't even sharp, but when it leaves your lips you're sure he feels it too. He feels how disappointed and disgusted you are in him. "I get that we’re both grown adults and can do whatever the fuck we want, but was this really necessary? Are you kidding me? Fuck,” You roll your eyes.
Jaemin stays silent. Shame. A disappointing reality where he can't have what he wants. His arms try to rest around you a little longer but you're already turning and shifting, which makes him uncomfortable.
"I was transparent with you. So why lie to me?" You utter out. Trying to let him know that you made him an exception into your heart.
He seemed so true and good. Someone you wouldn't mind meeting again. But now, you've just stained him. He stained you too, yet you wonder why you're feeling upset instead of angry. Maybe because you feel betrayed again...and not by him...but by your ex. Your ex who was everything but faithful to you.
"A guy like you seems so loyal. So why?" You ask.
"You wouldn’t have agreed to sleep with me if you knew I was married.” Jaemin sits up detaching his arms from your body making you feel cold. His tone is monotone. As if he's shut down. “I too was transparent when I said I only want sex."
"Do you honestly think this was only sex?"
"Thanks for tonight." Jaemin avoids the question, you feel angry when he wears his pants with no shame or remorse within his tone.
You don't even waste another second in his presence as you begin to dress up as well. Feeling dirty as if you cheated on yourself. You clean yourself up with the tissue handkerchief in your purse and throw it in the bin. You walk over to the door (that you first stumbled into with Jaemin) and you sigh out. You fish for your phone, calling on a taxi cab.
Once you make the call waiting for the taxi to come, your eyes are latched onto Jaemin who moves around the living room (where you two were intimate) and cleans up all the traces of shame making sure that everything is cleaned up neatly and back into place. He cleans up the house and sweeps the broken glass pieces before finishing and standing by the door, nervously watching you as you impatiently wait for your ride.
His eyes are soft and keep still on you. His hands fidgeting not knowing where to be, on his hair, pocket, fixing his shirt- you wonder why he's nervous, but you ignore him.
"Thank you for the night. I enjoyed it." His little smile flatters his face upon looking at your upset face. “Do you think we could meet up again?”
You roll your eyes glaring in his direction. "You're such an asshole. Do you not feel guilty?"
"Can we please not talk about that? Can we just... ignore it?" He's backsliding again. Creating a smoke screen, as if what he did won't come into light. "Did I make you feel good?" He goes on.
You feel guilty watching him do that, watching him watch you with eyes of excitement. How does he feel no shame for what he did?
Upon the arrival of your taxi, the guilt washes away and you slam his door making sure to leave the shame behind. You didn't want any of that. You don't want any of that. You don't want to be reminded of how good it felt, because by doing that you're only cheating again in your mind to a poor woman who most likely didn't deserve it.
You clinch your jaw the whole drive, thinking of how perfect Jaemin felt. You're angry at yourself for letting your pussy feel things, for letting your heart feel attached. If you knew he was a father, a husband- you wouldn't even have slept with him- so then why did you continue even after seeing the pictures of him and his wife?
Pussy over brain?
Perhaps because of how much he put into it?
Maybe because, you know that he looked at you, but his attention was in your heart.
Love at first sight? Lust at first sight? Which was it?
He literally made love to you...that wasn't fucking, that was love making. You know the pain of being cheated on, so for you to be feeling this- just makes you wonder if Haechan, your ex, was just as into it as Jaemin.
You caught Haechan, sleeping in bed with the girl. You don't know whether she forgot to leave or if he wanted her to stay (the same way Jaemin asked you), but one thing you do know is that she stayed with him and cuddled up so close to him. He looked so peaceful. You got in the room and even had enough time to sit and watch them wake up together. They kissed until they noticed your presence. In an instant Haechan with unknown speed and adrenaline- he jolted with such worry on his face and begged for your forgiveness in hopes that you'd forgive him.
That stupid fucker forgot he was butt naked when apologizing to you.
Is Jaemin feeling like he's on top of the clouds because he didn't get caught? Maybe he is. But you know how this whole cheating thing ends. Although you and Haechan broke up years ago, it still stung, as it left a dirty impact on you. It the reason you started sleeping around, to avoid the pain. It's also the reason you focused on getting ahead in your workplace. Anything and everything to make yourself by dwell.
And now thinking of Jaemin's wife, you can't help but harden your heart.
Stupid men.
Jaemin will get caught one day.
You just hope that you'll never ever be in a position that'll ever make you look like a middle woman. Again.
Of course, over the years after your break up, you slept around and the guilt came from sleeping with other men who were in relationships and the women had caught you sleeping with their significant other.
It's traumatic and you're refusing to experience or relive those moments again. All because of what happened tonight.
Love is dying because of people like you.
So when you get back home laying down on your bed you close your eyes and force yourself to sleep. Although your body is tired and wants to sleep, your soul is awake and reliving the moments you spent in Jaemin's arms. The way he held you and made you feel his all was absolutely something new for you. Usually on your day off from the Police Academy, you'd spend your full day and night in the house resting up your body from the intense police training. However whenever you'd feel spontaneous and a bit horny, you'd walk out your house in the most eye catching outfit and make your way to the bar. Most of the guys you'd meet were not talkers and just went straight for the gist of fucking you. However Jaemin...
"Why can't I stop thinking about him?" You stuff your head on the pillow.
He initiated such an intriguing conversation, capturing your attention for the whole night. Very soft spoken with his raspy voice, had hooking eyes and a mesmerizing smile. You thought he was drunk out of his mind, turns out that's when he's the most functional when trying to hide his stress. The burning lust was behind those sluttery words he'd use to describe how 'so sexy' you were. The sex talk sorta just happened when you put your desires aside to talk and engage with him. You spent your night talking in sexy and tried your hardest to not pounce on his handsome self.
Your conversations involved smut talk, erotica fantasy thoughts and flirtatious touches here and there. He was so dignified and interesting that when he asked you to go back to his place with him, you didn't hesitate to accept. The moment you got close to the door he said he wanted to kiss you, to make sure he wasn't going to regret his choice- and then right outside that bar, you began making out with him. And my oh my was he impeccable. He was a fine young looking man with the sex drive of a demon and you had expectations. He met them for sure- but at what cost?
Hurting his wife and kid while trying to please himself.
You drift off to sleep, ending your Sunday night...pre Monday morning with thoughts over the man Jaemin and how you've landed yourself another mark on being a middle woman.
This has to stop.
So when you wake up Monday morning with determination, you make sure to be set and focused and not think about the night you had. You want to do good today, to make up for the bad of the previous night.
And luckily for you, the moment you get there's a case ready and prepared to be investigated on.
"You'll go with Detective Jaehyun." Your eyes widen when you hear your name paired with the fast paced senior of your entire company district, Detective Jung Jaehyun.
Without wasting a second you get off the discussion table and run behind Jung Jaehyun when his long legs are already walking out the door. You've been on the field for about 13 months now, and you know which ways to go prior to your previous supervisors. It's due to discipline, priority, hard work and dedication why you were the remaining intern out of a set of 10 who you came in with. Each month, you kept pushing yourself and redeeming your qualities to prove yourself worthy to be a full working member of the KPS detectives.
So setting on your game face, you follow Jaehyun who's already outside the building looking at his clock while leaning on his car.
"3 minutes late." He says when looking up at you with a stern gaze.
You point your hand backwards. "The elevator was-"
"That's not my business. Are there no stairs? Exactly." Jaehyun opens his door inserting his foot inside and getting in.
You quickly follow, not wanting to set a bad impression of yourself, after all if you're paired with him it must mean that they've finally recognized your skill set and are (probably) ready to have you in their company. And what better way to know if you're ready then to send you off on a serious case mission with one of the most toughest trooper alive.
"Once dismissed and sent on field, you should be in the car within a minute. Child murder cases are one of the most toughest, as families expect the police to quote on quote do something. As if it's somehow our fault that these things happen."
You say nothing as Jaehyun retaliates and communicates all by himself somehow having an issue with the case- but from his words you can tell that he also has a problem being paired (or stuck on babysitter mode as he said) with you. Without even a single breath from your end, he drives and follows the GPS coordinates for the house you're supposed to meet the family. Being time sensitive, Jaehyun is already driving into the drive through by the 15 minute mark and walking up the stairs with you following behind grumpily- not long after a minute, other police cars begin to show up.
"I don't want a word from your corner. Zip it until you're spoken to." Jaehyun states as he knocks on the door of the family. "However, what you can do, is what you're interned here for. Write. Write as much as you can about the scene and when we get back to the office, you leave it on my desk. I'll go over it and see if you're needed on the case or not. Tip of advice, make it good because if it were up to me, you'd be gone 4 months ago with the other rookies. There's no room for selfish and standoffish personalities in crime and investigation. Hate to cut it to you, but you don't belong here. Your continuation with our department all depends on the report you'll leave on my desk. Got it?"
Sucking in a breath, you nod your head just in time for the door to swing open with a teary eyed woman.
Only been on the scene a few times, you've managed to always keep a poker face to conceal all your emotions, yet when the broken mother breaks down with every word she tells the officer and investigators you can't help but show just a little bit of emotion.
Sincerely hoping that perhaps you can sympathies with her. Okay...maybe you also did it for selfish reasons being that if she warms up to you, she may prefer to talk to you a lot and that would mean Jaehyun would need to back off. After all, your job is suddenly on the line again.
You walk around the house taking down note of the scenery presented wondering from where you'll start. According to the mother, she has reason to believe that her daughter was killed. Even though there's no body present, the bloody scene of the child's room and even the corridor that has a trail of blood is evidential enough to back up her theory. In the process of writing down and paying close attention to detail and conversation, your mind slowly starts to divert...
Especially after walking into the living room...
There's a long couch. A fireplace. Some dressers with pictures on top. There's also an entry that leads to a long hallway before the front door.
Your lips get dry when your full focus is brought upon one large picture hanging on the hall.
It's a wedding canvas of a woman and man happily linked together.
Jaehyun scoffs. "To think, a murder case occuring to an infamous business man."
"It's too early to suspect anyone, but we're strongly leaning on the husband." An investigator states lowly while entering the living room with Jaehyun. "His side of the story doesn't add up or make any sense. He claims he wasn't at home yet his wife says otherwise. And then he said he came home for a little while but went out again, because he received a work call. But when we asked again he said he went to a club. His narrative gradually became harder to follow, he mentioned that the child went for a sleep over but the wife said something else, but he kept pushing out different stories until he said he'd go out to clear his head."
"How many months is she pregnant?” Jaehyun asks casually seeing you frozen in the living room.
“Hasn’t said a word, seems to be in her prime months so perhaps 4 or 5, fuck me even 2, who knows?” The investigator states.
“Let’s be careful to not start out with a bang." Jaehyun mentions after following your gaze, taking one look at the enlarged photo on the wall. "After all they are public figures." He sighs upon recognizing the face of the man, or rather the already proclaimed suspect. "Owner of Cyberport Cultured Neo Hotels. We need to make sure we’ve got solid and hard proof to pin him down, otherwise this will be a case the media will intrude in. We don’t want that. Got it?"
"Yes sir," The investigator nods his head.
"Well were is he?" Jaehyun sighs while stuffing his hands in his pockets.
Your ears are alert when hearing a door shut. Your eyes divert to the figure emerging from the hall way and it feels like deja vu all over again. Suddenly the hallway where you passionately made out seems to be so clear and vivid in your mind. You can see yourself moaning out his name and him carrying you and placing you on the dresser with pictures. You blink your eyes, hoping that the man that you see now is not the man that you were with hours ago. He's dressed in a black leather jacket. The same leather jacket you set your eyes on at the late night club, the same leather jacket you helped to remove while in your prime thirst of lustful need, that same jacket that fitted and adorned the man who made you feel all sorts of wild emotions of ecstasy and bliss, the man who kissed and called your name like you were making love in heaven...that same man is now looking back at you.
But instead of pure need and lust- his face is struck with horror.
"Jaemin?" You whisper out.
Your name leaves his lips barely above a whisper and he can't help but be frozen in place when remembering your features. He wanted to meet you again...but he didn't think it'd be this soon...in this circumstance. Here you are in the light of his house, wearing a black uniform with a local departments badge on your shoulder, looking just as crazed as he is.
It feels like you've been caught. “Shit.”
It feels like you can’t breath, and if matters can’t get any worse, his wife walks in the living room. Her petite frame looms below him and in her dried out and tear stained face, she wraps her arms around his neck placing a light peck on his lips muttering words of encouragement and asking if he’s feeling any better. As she brings his frozen head down to peck his lips, his eyes are dead locked on your own- even when his wife’s lips touch his, his eyes are only on you. Your chest rises up and down before you spin around rapidly blinking and clearing your throat ignoring the daunting look of Jaehyun.
-
Jaehyun leans over his desk folding his arms. Ever since the crime scene log, you were very spaced out and Jaehyun wondered why is it that you’ve been on edge.
Your legs anxiously shake as you grip the material of your trousers, eyes long zoned out with your appearance resembling a corpse. Jaehyun picks up the report again, peeking up from your printed out report feedback sheet taking in your distraught face trying to get your attention, which is far gone. He reads over the last paragraph again before setting the papers on the desk calmly. You don’t budge.
“I’ll get straight to the point.” Jaehyun speaks just as you find yourself jumping in your seat upon hearing his voice. “Do you know Mr. Na Jaemin?”
Jaehyun’s question forces you to grow alert and anxious. Your freaking job is on the line, and you’ve been partnered up with a bulldozer official detective who will not hesitate to send you home- one wrong move and your whole career is gone. You hesitantly nod your head pursing your dry lips together before answering. “He’s a pioneer working in the most sought out for hotels. He’s infamous. Why would I not know him?”
“Valid.” Jaehyun nods his head, yet lifts up the report as if proving an unknown point. “Then what is this report? Out of everyone in the house, you only saw it fit to interview or rather lay out your facts on him? Was he the only person in the house? Aside from that, regarding the report, it seems that you’re exclusively trying to defend him.”
“What?” Your eyes widen. “No.”
“He’s the only name on this report, alongside the other mindless information you put in.”
Your lips stutter before the words come out. “That’s b-because you and the investigators are adamant on locking him up as if he’s the culprit. We’ve barely had enough time to investigate yet you’re already pinning him-”
“Is there anything wrong with claiming he’s a suspect?”
“No there isn’t, but-”
“But what?” Jaehyun leans on his desk his gaze going over your stressed out face. “What is it? Why are you eyes set on him?”
Your head itches and you so desperately want to scratch it without looking like an idiot. Did you really only write about Jaemin? “I’m sorry sir, but he’s a well-known figure. His daughter got murdered-”
“He was in the house at the time it happened.” Jaehyun interrupts. “Is that not suspicious to you?”
You breathe out knowing your argument is weak and could get you removed off premises effective immediately. “It’s not. The whole scene is too clean and the way it’s playing out with Jaemin being a suspect is already suspicious! H-how sure are we that he was the only one in the house? I’m telling you that there has to be someone else behind this. We didn’t even investigate. Have you ever been in a situation where a crime is happening and you have no idea that it’s taking place- yet coincidentally you’re at the place and happen to be a victim but everyone is pointing you out to be a culprit? I strongly believe that this is the position in which Na Jaemin is in. There are many rooms in that house specifically 4. One for him and his...wife and the other was for his child. He could’ve been in his study while the crime was taking place, more over he could’ve been doing something else, who knows, he doesn’t want to expose what he was doing, however in his eyes I can tell that he didn’t do it. Maybe he forgot to close the door and an intruder entered and he couldn’t hear a thing because the intruder was quick. Perhaps the intruder was already in the house when he claimed that he got back, or even the intruder could be someone that works in the house. Who knows? Maybe-"
"You're an intern right?" His question completely stops you. You realized that you've gone overboard in Jaemin's defense. However that's not what the Detective Jaehyun says, because his next words are so sharp that you wished you never even opened up your mouth. "Prove his innocence. I want to know where he was, what he was doing and most importantly how he didn't know his daughter was in the next room being killed. Full report, facts, witnesses and most importantly and effective is evidence."
You breathe.
"If you wish to be a detective writer and want to keep your job here, show me that fire." He gets up picking his black leather jacket on his chair. "I've got cartel, intel and speculations, I usually work alone yet for your intern benefits I'll be trusting you with the victim slash but not comfortable suspect. Try not to mess up. That fire in your eyes right now is what I want to see in your report. Get working."
_
You feel like your heart has stopped.
Because you knew exactly were Jaemin was out through the night of the murder, you thought that you had some leverage and could easily persuade the expecting heart of Detective Jung Jaehyun. However your entire world falls apart when a portion of the evidence you'd use was already tainted with your presence. You had gone to the club where you met Jaemin and with your badge of authority demanded the tapes for analysis.
The owner gave you the section part you asked for (22:00-00:00), with all the relevant angles of the outside area as well as inside. Sitting by your assigned desk going through the video, you felt a peak of satisfaction watching over you as Jaemin's figure entered the bar and the camera caught it in 4k- heck you could even say 5k because of how clear the footage was. He sat on the bar stool that was close to the entrance and the timestamp was within the hours of the murder. He spent a long time in there continuously drinking. Your smile enlightened your face and you couldn't help but already begin on your report.
Everything came crashing down the moment you stupidly realized that you were also there! It didn't help that when you looked at the screen you saw a feminine figure with jet black long hair and a leather black body con dress sit close to Jaemin. At first you're confused of seeing the lady...until you realize IT'S YOU!
Right there in 4k- heck 5K, your back is to the camera yet when you get up and turn around your face can be seen clearly. You and Jaemin share a drink and although your convo is muted, you spend a long time with Jaemin and the timestamp draws nearer to the predicted hour of the incident. You physically shy away and frail like a lizard when Jaemin in the footage moves close to your seemingly expectant self and his lips attach to yours. His kiss - as you remember - was slow yet passionate. He's someone who kisses with his all. Seeing his lips against yours- you can't help but feel an intense amount of guilt wash over you when thinking of his pregnant sweet wife. She didn't deserve this but for some reason a cruel master above has set you up for defamation.
Jaemin takes a hold of your hand and pays for the half finished drinks before leading you to the back. You follow with the security camera and when Jaemin makes it to the backdoor- your eyes pop out when the heavy make out session between the two of you turns wild. You're brought back to that night, how badly you wanted to take him in, make him cum in you right there and didn't care for whoever's watching.
You instantly get out of the security camera footage sending all the files to a little USB drive. You quietly sit in your seat with your head pressed up against your palms. What the hell were you going to do now? Your thoughts are all over the place and you lose track of time not realizing that the sky slowly changes colour; from a sky blue to an almost faded pink-orange hue.
"Fuck." You lowly curse. "What am I going to do now?"
After a moment of thought and moment of silence you get up from your seat and head out. As an intern, you aren't allowed to have a company car and any forms of transportation you'd need, you would need to go with Detective Jung Jaehyun. But with what you were going to do, there's no way you'd want him to tag along. You stand by the lift while sending in a request for an Uber driver.
The thought of an Uber driver makes you think about the night prior when you ordered an Uber driver home... Could it be possible that there was any surveillance outside while you left? If so, that could really help.
Once you're outside and notice the sky color you wonder if you should just clock out instead, but with the driver already outside you don't think twice and just go. The street area is quiet, vacant and you wonder if any houses have security camera as there are no poles of cameras around. You mentally note in your head to check the surrounding blocks and houses nearby if they've got outside cams just in case there aren't any security cams.
As expected some police car departments are present. Cautiously announcing your presence, you're met with only the usual yellow tape surrounding the house with a cleanup team. However the small family of mother and father.....actually the husband and wife, aren't there. With the investigation going on and their daughters blood stains everywhere, they thought it would be best to leave the house vacant so they're staying at a hotel. Thankfully you're given the address, the address of the infamous hotel in which Jaemin owns, but when you catch the sight of the backyard and the sight of black hair with an infamous jacket you sigh out in relief.
It hasn't even yet been a day. You came to work, introduced to your partner, met the family of whom you were to investigate their daughters murder, got appointed to Jaemin, went to the club to get tapes, came back to work to watch the taped and finally being met here...in Jaemin's house, where everything began. You can't help but sigh. It's already been such a long day and afternoon and all you want is get the case over and done with. You didn't like that your private life was on the line of a murder investigation. The faster your prove Jaemin's innocence, the faster you can redeem your position at work and actually be assigned an intern role where you can prove yourself and skills.
This case, with Jaemin in it, isn't proving your skills, it's dangerous and could tarnish your reputation and adding a black stamp and disapproval. You truly need this job, and the faster your finish it, the faster you can move on from this whole mess.
Walking down the backyard stairs and across the little garden where you see Jaemin's eyes fixed on the something in his hand. As you get closer, you see it's a little beige wrist band. "Listen," you start out, probably alarming him because his head sharply snaps to you. Ignoring his tired face, you breathe out. "We need to talk about us."
Jaemin blinks and his jaw clinches. He wipes on his red eyes with back of his hand before they disappear in the pockets of his black leather jacket.
"I found the security-"
"My fucking daughter just died."
Are the first words to leave his lips. They're quiet, yet they were sharp to silence you.
He tilts his head to the side, while his eyes shimmer with disappear. "And you're here wanting to talk about us?"
Your mouth closes feeling your heart shrink by your insensitivity. Jaemin's eyes scrunch up with such distaste, before they're remorseful and turn away.
"She died in my house while I was fucking you and you want to talk about us right now? You came all the way to..."
He can't even look at you, and inside your soul you break by his will to hold himself together while he terribly struggles as the tears leave his eyes. He's quick to use his back hand to wipe the tears but they're already apparent to you.
"My daughter... my little girl...my healthy precious gem, my princess is dead somewhere out there and missing. Fucking missing...and you..." Jaemin's lips tremble. And his tired eyes, exhausted red eyes get watery and your heart stops. He exhales and closes his eyes stuffing his hand with that little beige wrist band in his pocket before glaring up at you. "Don't you dare think that just because we slept together makes us official. What happened that night should stay between us. I don't know you and you don't know me. Got it?"
You're so wrapped up in not getting your ass fired that you forget that something so sensitive had happened. Despite him cheating, he has...had a daughter who he cared for. You see it in his eyes when he blinks and a tear falls down from his eye. He's quick to wiping it away, but it's enough to cause a vain to bulge from his forward and for his face to furrow while looking down.
Your heart aches.
You've always loved the idea of starting a family. You remember that when you were still with Haechan all the conversations you'd had about kids. You both wanted kids. So to see someone who had a kid be in mourning, makes you feel so insensitive.
Did you even care to see the face of the child who was killed?
Even a picture?
No.
All you thought about, was your one night stand with the father of the child.
Your eyes pane down to your clasped hands. "I'm so sorry. I really am." You try to look for the words but you're speechless. You don't have your own kids, so you wouldn't know what he's feeling. But you gulp down and turn back to him, who had taken out the band again to simply look at it. "How old was she?"
It was already in your report briefing file, but after being so insensitive you figure that you could at least pay your respects.
Jaemin sniffs back and you can hear just how much he's holding back. "E-eight." The word alone gets Jaemin in a slump mode. He shuts his eyes tightly. "I'm such a terrible parent, she was in the house and I was with-" he stops himself sucking in a sharp breath.
"Jaemin." You gulp, feeling a different feel to when calling his name. As much as you hate being the middle woman, something about being present with him during that moment makes you feel thankful that you were with him. The fact that you know he's innocent makes you thankful. "You're innocent. You didn't do anything-"
"And because I didn't do anything she was killed. She tried to call for me, but I mistook it to be your moan." He gasps out. "I was in...the house when my...I should've listened to my gutt."
He grunts out and you can hear just how frustrated and gloomy he is at himself. "The reports said she was mute," you quietly add trying to understand what he meant by heard. Surely you would've heard, but she's...she was mute.
"She's deaf. Can't hear anything. Not mute. She's been trying to talk, while wearing hearing aids of course. But, she was still learning." Jaemin scratches the back of his neck shaking his head, the tears making an appearance yet again. "They think I killed her, but can you just imagine how scared she might've felt? Possibly trying to scream with her lungs without a clue how? Or even gasping for air while frantically trying to move her hands? She was scared...my baby, alone in her room, her father in the living room." He sniffs back maintaining a deep breath, cooling himself down. "And now her body is nowhere to be found. At first I thought she could be alive, but after seeing all that blood, her missing body and all these police, ambulance, detectives...you... I just.."
Jaemin slowly crumbles forcing his tears back. Your hand hesitantly lands on his back. Sucking in a cold breath you calmly move your hand along his back in a soothing manner. "We'll find her. I know it's not comforting but we'll find her for you. I'm sorry that this has happened."
"I just can't get out of my head how much she tried to do something. I even think she tried to call for help. Her blood shows how she struggled. There's a messy beeline from her bed to the hallway. It stops right by the bar of stairs." Jaemin runs his hands through his hair, looking into the air. "I swear I heard her voice, I know now that it was her. She tried to call me..."
You hum out quietly. "What does she call you?"
To that, he shuts his eyes tilting his head in agony. He whispers out. "She calls me Abahbah when wearing her hearing aid.. I heard it...she blabbed it out and I ignored it, thinking it was..."
The sounds that leave his lips are one of despair and disappointment.
"She hates wearing it, but she loves hearing my voice." Jaemin scoffs in pity. "If she was wearing her hearing aid, it would be such horrible sounds to hear. Her father moaning out and having the time of his life with someone who's not even his wife..."
All you can do is stand and listen, hearing your heart break every time he reveals a piece about his daughter. His daughter.
"I'm sorry to ask this," His head train to the beige wrist band again. "Can you stay?"
You don't know why that makes you feel relieved, however you feel warm inside knowing he needs...no...he wants you to stay. "Of course,"
"I mean you don't have to but-"
"I'll stay as long as I can," You tell him. "Do you need me to make you some tea? Something to drink?"
While being with him, you realize that it doesn't always have to be about you.
_
Getting back home that night, you can't fall asleep.
A part of you already knew that you'll most likely not fall asleep until this case is done. But now instead of dread, your head is driven to actually assisting the case in finding out what really happened. It kind of brings you back to you past self who was adamant and selfless.
Although Jaemin was in his feels and rambling out his thoughts, he assisted you with Intel to the case. And truly speaking when you entered back in the house, you got out your own camera to take the pictures of the child's blood line from her bed to the hallway. Such a pitiful sight to see. Her father and some random woman. The guilt washes away when you think of it as helping her to find out who took her body.
You want to believe that she's alive, but by the third day upon entering the office you know that her tiny 8 year old body that was in serious drainage of blood and lack of water, couldn't survive. Within three days, you visited Jaemin's wife, Chae and spent a lot of time with her. You learnt just how much Jaemin was a family man as well as well respected and loved because his friends and parents where at the hotel with Chae. They comforted and cried together with her. You helped around a bit with making tea and making sure you weren't sticking out like a sore thumb.
You only saw Jaemin briefly, he locked himself up in their room balling his eyes out and it's where you got to see his father and friends console him. He looked disheveled and so blue. His family were his support. You couldn't stay around the first day because you thought they should bond with their family. You ended up going back to work and working on the case there, where Jaehyun gave you some information of the neighbors and what they heard or possibly heard. Jaehyun also requested for a neighborhood footage, which he would get in a week's time.
You digged a little more deep into potential suspects. Outside of the family, Jaemin was a public figure and was well greatly admired for having managed and maintained a luxurious mansion hotel, Neo Hotels, with a rating of 7 out 10 in Korea. He was a young, aim driven businessman with a handful of competitors. None of which he was friends with, so with no personal interaction you believe that none of his competitors had anything against him aside from business. You go on to checking his close friends as well as Chae, those who were constantly around the family. And opt for interviews with the few. Surprisingly theirs a decrease of people Jaemin and Chae know and you're even more shocked when seeing Haechan as a part of friends that Jaemin knows. Sending him an email as well as a text message, your brain works in hyper mode. Could it have been his friends, someone he worked with or someone in the family?
The only family he stays with is his wife, Chae.
It was hard looking at her in the eye knowing fully well that you slept with her husband, but conversation was eased in when talking about her daughter; Na Daejun. Which you slowly learnt (around the second day) that Daejun was actually not her child but Jaemin's child...well his sisters child. His sister had been pregnant but was induced by a chronic illness which led to giving birth to her child prematurely and eventually taking her lasts breath before dying.
When you asked about the father of the child, Chae briefly mentioned that Jaemin's sister had been raped. With all the new information piling up on top of you, you can't help but feel even more depressed at the fact that Jaemin could be mourning over his sister again. Again, you've never had siblings of your own so you can't imagine what Jaemin is going through. Upon looking at Daejun's baby pictures, you instantly can tell how close Jaemin was to her.
Around the third day 6 out of the 7 friends you messaged agreed to have a chat interview with you. The fourth who rejected the interview was actually overseas, so you ruled him out. You ended up speaking to 6 people separately. Two cooperated and were ready to help with the investigation in anyway that they could, because they were torn and weren't even aware of the struggle their poor friend, Chae had gone through. Three of them, (Jaemin's friends) who you already met in the hotel when visiting Chae, where hands down literally doing their own digging without the investigators and we're of big help to you. They gave you news on where Daejun went to school, which parents didn't like her because of her hearing difficulties and how the teachers would favour her over their own kids- it's as though they were Daejun's big brothers.
The love they have for Jaemin is unfathomable and you're relieved with all the information you got, thanks to Jungwoo, Mark and Kun. You don't even want to suspect them because of how protective they were with her, however Mark stood out most to you because on that day he mentioned that Jaemin asked him if he could drop Daejun home from school. He said he stayed with her until Jaemin came home. Warning signs because according to Jaemin he never came home around he afternoon- only at night and night you were with him.
The last person you talk to is Haechan.
As much as it pissed you off to engage with your ex of more than 3 years, you are tongue tied seeing him. For some reason, for some odd reason the mere thoughts of: Why did he cheat on you? Surface in your brain.
The thoughts keep you from greeting him or even making eye contact with him. In a tense silence you both drink your cups of tea, because coffee is too strong. Not only do you pick up the cup simultaneously but you also take a sip equally before placing it down. You feel nothing from common similarity, however Haechan smiles at how old habits die hard. He tries to not pay mind to the silence, hoping that he'll get his chance to speak to you. After all it's been 3 years.
"I don't think you're of any use to me, or this case." Your sudden open-ended question comes out rigid and you bring out your mini notepad and pen to jot down his words (or give you a distraction) instead of thinking and looking at him. "So I'll make this quick."
His scoff emits the same palpable tension in the air. So much for hoping he could speak to you. You didn't change. Your name leaves his lips naturally, just like when he used to call you to come back to the present and away from work. You don't look at him. You don't give him the power to gaze into your eyes and make you feel like shit.
The day you broke up with him, seemed like the most easiest days of your life. However the crawling yearning belittling emotions in you weren't at ease. You were in constant reminder, by all the small things, that he left you for someone else.
You thought you were a good girlfriend, who gave him space and allowed him to do his job, who was present and attended to his needs...most of the time, but you had no argument that you were a stable girlfriend who didn't give him any headaches (unlike Jaemin who managed to swiftly get into your mind, Haechan was simply by chance why you still stayed with, so he should've felt honoured)- but then why would he do what he did?
Why did he do what he did?
You were physically attached to him, he gave you safety and the best comfort after each and every case. You were emotionally attached to him, especially when he'd listen to everything you had to say, in fact the communication was the strongest point and unit in your whole relationship-
"You're gone again."
Blinking several times you inhale and click on your pen writing scribbles on you paper pretending to write something important when nothing but the thoughts of him cloud up in your head.
"You haven't looked at me once since you walked i-"
It begins. His way of trying to apologize.
"I heard you're friends with Jaemin."
He rolls his eyes. "Can we please talk about us before we get into-"
"We can't talk about us, when there's a murder case that has to be closed. You know I don't work like that. My time is moving."
"Oh my god. Y/n. I really thought you changed." He shares his thoughts. "But you're still the same. Come on please,"
"I'm not off." You're distaste can be heard and you try not to look at him in disgust. You simply try to carry on with what you came here to do. "What do you think of Jaemin?"
You will not give him the privilege.
"I get that this is a case and you're questioning me-"
"How would you describe Jaemin during college, assuming you go way back?"
"-We'll talk for a moment about the case but can we just-"
"How come you're listed as his friend when you have minimum contact with him-"
"-hell Y/n, can we just tal-"
The constant back and forth and talking over each other creates such an imbalance that a few cafe seaters turn to look at you two, but you digress and continue asking all your questions - cutting him off just as he wants to speak. It goes on for a really long 2 minutes, the questions continuously pouring out of you, until he stops talking and sighs leaning back frustrated on his seat.
"Has he ever evoked suspicious details?"
His mouth twists in anger and he waits for you to look at him but you don't. "Y/n-"
Roughly you get up from your seat clicking your pen and shoving it back in your pocket. Not even looking at him, you take some steps away from the table, your back is turned and you walk away, while speaking up for him to hear. "Thank you Mr. Lee for your time and lack of answers. I'll cross you off the list now."
"It was you, wasn't it? The girl he slept with."
Dramatically that makes you pause for some seconds, before breathing in avoiding his eyes and continuing to leave.
"Or should I say it like him? Death in the seductive form of a lady with spectacular eyes,"
You ignore him getting your hand on the door.
Banging the table whilst scrapping his chair back as he sprints up- draws your attention forcing you to stop.
"C'mon Y/n don't leave again! For hell's sake just listen to me. Are you really going to be so wrapped up in your own head ignoring that you're just as guilty in this matter?"
You hesitate with your next step but brush it off continuing and getting closer to the door.
"Fine. You wanna be that way? Okay." Donghyuck grumbles, clearing his throat to prepare his next words. "You fucked him in his house while his kid was being murdered. Admit it-"
Your neck sprains from the heavy lifting words that spoil out of his mouth, as you glare at him. Your breath hitches in your throat.
"He thought you were an assistant to an assassin." Donghyuck seriously trudges. "Keeping him distracted while his kid was being murdered. Is this seriously what you've become? You leave me and go on to spreading your legs for-"
"Shut the fuck up!" You storm to the table with a befuddlement. "Have you fucking lost your mind? I didn't sleep with anyone-"
His eyes give light to an emotion of desperation, until you realize it's not desperation in his eyes but hurt. Oddly, you feel satisfied when you assume he's hurt that you slept with someone, but your emotions are crushed by his next words and the look of hurt shifts into mocking and belittling.
"I'm surprised you're trying to help him when all you care about is yourself." What he really means, is how on earth Jaemin got you so invested in him. Because the you he knows, would never not once put in everything for a person. You were selfish. "In fact, I'm willing to bet you don't even care about him. You're trying to save your ass. I can't blame you. You slept with him on the day his kid died-"
"I'm not trying to save myself-"
"He cleaned up and thought about you all night long. And here you are actually trying to save him. But you can't even take a minute to listen to me to try and understand-"
"Understand what? It's not about you!" You snap.
"It's not about you either! But still, till this day your head won't allow you to think about others. It's always you!"
"I'm so sick of this- just tell me where you heard what you heard and I'll fucking leave you alone. And stop speculating about me. I'm literally still in this case because he's innocent-"
He scoffs. "You know he's innocent because you slept with him. I bet you if you never did, you would've locked him up."
"You know what. I'm not here to play your stupid games and listen to you blabber." You point out. "I don't have time for this, or for you."
"That's why I slept with her." Haechan burns out, making your breath halt just a your eyes squint. "You never had any time for me. You kept me around as some form of item instead of a person. So now I'm finding it hard to believe that you're actually defending this man. Even besides the fact that you slept with him, you would've still locked him up. But you're still helping him? Why? You couldn't spare time for me to talk, but you initially stayed and spoke to Jaemin the whole night before going to fuck him."
Your tongue pokes your cheek. "You're even stressing on his behalf. But you never ever cared on my behalf. He's a good person and you used him. He's sex deprived, and like the being he is, he stroked off to you, balls deep and eyes shut in ecstasy as he thought about you. He didn't get to finish as his wife came back home with a tired gaze. She passed him and went straight for her room when she yelled out. He stopped thinking about you, got his hands out his sweats and attended to his wife only to be mortified at what he saw. What the fuck did you guys talk about that also has him thinking deeply about you? I used to think about you do much, hoping you'd think of me to. But you never did." A long pause rests in the air. Your eyes hollow and evident of your guilt as you hear him. His eyes gaze back into your eyes, there's a strong aura of overwhelming heat of guilt upon the room, mostly upon you, Haechan is just glad that he has you back and this time you're listening. "Am I still going to be scratched from the list?"
Glaring to the side, you catch pairs of eyes that quickly look away. Groaning out by your unprofessional manner you pull out your badge long enough for all the on lookers to grasp where you're from. No use getting random phone calls to the station of two people discussing a serious matter in bursts of anger.
You take a seat and fold your arms, your eyes on Haechan, firm and serious never blinking. He takes a seat too. You don't even speak, giving him the floor as he desperately wanted it. "Y/n I'm sorry for-"
You breathe out in heaps of anger.
"I know an apology isn't what you want to hear, especially from me," Haechan continues regardless of your eye roll and bouncing leg of anxiety.
"Haechan-"
"However it's what you're gonna get if you want the full story. I'm sorry Y/n. I really am." He voices out, trying to look sincere, but he looks more guilty then sincere. Not only was he nervous for actually talking back to you in the manner he did, but he felt bad for demanding your attention only to state his cheating ways again. So knowing that you won't listen to his one way apology (he knows you're only interested in Jaemin) he tries to play the victim card. "On that morning you caught me with that her, you didn't give me a chance to explain myself-"
"Oh please. As if what you did needed explanation." You roll your eyes.
Haechan sighs quietly and nods his head. "You're right. That night you had just called that you were gonna be working over time. Again. I was mad and angry that you stood me up, again. I was at the restaurant by myself. Looking like a fool while watching people come, eat and go. Should I say 'again'? Because really I've watched people arrive, eat and go in every restaurant all by myself because you never had time for me. In fact, not only in restaurants, but generally you never ever just sat down next to me asking me anything about myself, or how my day was. That night, I was beyond mad. I watched, I waited for you and all you could do was send a short text saying, sorry I'm tired. I worked overtime, I won't be home tonight, I'll be in the office. I'll never ever forget that night. I can say all the things I wanted from you that night, but it won't change anything now. It wasn't even the first time you had left me, so I got used to you not showing up when I needed you. Heck even the chef... The chef, she knew me specifically because you'd never show up and I'd always eat by myself...sometimes with her. But-"
"If you're trying to guilt trip me, then it's not going to work. You're the one who cheated." You point him sharply refraining yourself from getting worked up and angry. But you're already so heated. How dare he blame you for an action be did? Although you said his guilt trip wouldn't work on you, you admit that you were kind of unfair towards him in some ways. But you won't give him the satisfaction to know it actually wounded your ego, because despite everything, it still hurts being cheated on. "Don't forget it. Don't forget that you cheated. Not me."
"And that's why I understand why Jaemin did it. Why he fucked- no. Let me use his words." Haechan bites back on his lip while balling his fists. "Why he made love to you that night. I understand why, after years of cancelling his premium therapy membership, that he called me up just so he could talk about what had happened. He doesn't know that I know you, he doesn't even know that you know me, in fact I didn't even know that he was talking about you fully. He mentioned your name, but the words he said afterwards shocked me because I know you. The you that I know, only thinks of herself. You're selfish. Not selfless. All he knows is that he slept with someone who was not only purely satisfying and selfless. When he said that while saying your name, I was perplexed because that's not you. He's confused and mourning and the only person who can believe him is someone who he cheated with. That's you by the way."
You're attentive to his words, but feel so guilty just like him and you hate that he's putting you in his shoes and then putting you back in your own shoes.
"When I slept with the chef, it was to feel love. I know now that it was stupid of me to do that, but what assurance could I have gotten when every time I set up an appointment on your free day, you decided to work?" Haechan questions himself as if he's back to that day. "Same with Jaemin, his motive was simply because he needed to be fucked to forget. H-he's a man who's been sex deprived from his wife, who he's convinced is lying about her pregnancy. Honestly loyalty lasts long when everything's alright within the relationship. But the moment something snaps, you begin to wonder why you were loyal in the first place. And that's Jaemin, his motive for being with you was because his wife was dishonest somewhere and somehow. Unfortunately for Jaemin, the one time he chose to be disloyal... he happened to choose to be disloyal not knowing the aftermath. Unfortunately for you, you're entangled in this messy situation with him. Why did you sleep with him?"
Your lips are sealed. But your thoughts are bouncing off the wall. "You mentioned his premium therapy membership before he cancelled. How did you meet him?"
"We go way back since college because he was amongst my first clients. I'm his therapist. He ended his membership the moment his sister died. The night he found out about his daughter, he called me, on a private phone with a private line, and tried to explain everything that happened. Unfortunately that's all I know. He now calls me from time to time to ask for methods he can use to mourn peacefully while being under the watchful eyes of the police. I'm sharing this confidential information with you because we both know he's innocent. I'm sharing this with you, because if there's still a way for me to get back into your heart, the I'll glady take it. I've been-"
You roll your eyes coming close and cutting him off while muttering. "I don't care what you've been up to. Go fuck someone else until you forget me. It's been working for me, hopefully it'll work for you." You don't care if it's harsh, you don't care if you're being rude by walking out the cafe without another word. All you know is that he gave you all the information he knows.
Before leaving the store, you look back once, seeing him run his hands through his hair.
_
The next days are filled with you cramping up your brain with investigation. You barely sleep, looking at the case at every second to prove Jaemin's innocence. Being in Jaehyun's team, consisting of you, some other man known as Taeil (Jaehyun tasked him with the main focus to locate the body) and Jaehyun himself- you guys are task force 3, faced with dealing with the child and her location. While other units and forces are tasked heavily on finding the killer. However as you're trying to prove Jaemin's Innocence, from time to time you're cooperative with the other units in order to receive information.
Aside from that, your unit is pretty eccentric and busy all the time, even in ways that you've never been busy before, to the extent that even when you wash your dishes you only see the blood of the poor child.
With Jaemin being a primary suspect, and Mark being a secondary suspect, you're surprised that they both have alibis.
Haechan (despite you excluding and hiding everything he said) served as an alibi for Jaemin (as proven in the short text he sent you, that he'll keep his mouth shut if you needed him too. And you did). While Jaemin's wife Chae served as an alibi for Mark saying she was the one who was present and that Marked made a small innocent mistake by switching up the names.
Being in a meeting right now you're not expecting your phone to buzz. But it does causing you to react quickly. Ever since sending an email to meet up with Haechan, he's been using the email platform to engage into conversation with you.
Mr Lee Haechan:
Don't forget to drink water
Have a good day!
Aside from trying to work on the Jaemin case, your phone's been pretty scattered with emails from Haechan.
You:
Go fuck someone else until you forget about me.
Is what you told Haechan, and its still what you're telling him. Frankly speaking...
There's absolutely no reason to defend Jaemin, except your job being on the line, but aside from that, you free willingly put yourself in a dangerous mission to save him, especially when everyone is against him. Haechan's constant messaging got you to a deep pot of realization.
You'll never admit it to yourself, but consciously you know why you slept with him. And the person who helped you realize it, was non other than Haechan. You always knew why, you just could never admit it. While you were always busy for Haechan, for Jaemin you felt available. It's bizarre because you only spoke to him that night, but you were hooked onto him so strangely.
You wanna apologize to Haechan. But apologizing would mean giving him another chance. And you don't want that.
The break up, even before the cheating scandal, was already in motion. You loved Haechan for the person he was and always being ready to put you first, but, you hated how busy you were and how free he was. He just wanted to be with you, but you had to focus on your work and yourself. He's someone who's selfless and always puts others needs before his own, hence him always saying it's okay even when it's not. The outcome of being selfless is hurting alone inside and causing an unbalanced outburst of emotions. You both studied psychology, him for his work in therapy and you for insight on criminal behavior. You both know how an outburst of emotions can be deadly. In your case, and his case, it resorted to him cheating.
It's good to finally get the answer that you've been looking for of why he cheated on you, but it hurts knowing that your prediction of him not being happy in the relationship was true. You wish you could give him all your time, but you can't forsake yourself just to make him happy.
But now why is it different with Jaemin? In a way, he's almost similar to Haechan by being selfless. However why is it that you want to give him your time. You don't have to save yourself, you can lock him up just as all the evidence proven is already on him. Yet... You're trying to save your ass by helping him prove his innocence.
You know the answer, but you refuse to let it sink in.
So you're working, day and night to get him out your head and out your heart.
He's grieving and cares about nothing else. His world is falling apart, just like the way it was when he was in the bar making fun of all his problems (except for his wife which he refused to mention), only except this time, you want to be by his side. He doesn't deserve this. You're being selfless for him.
"Intern." You jump and blink upwards towards Jaehyun. "If I see you spacing out once more, you're off the case. I can't have you day dreaming every quarter of the day."
"Sorry."
Jaehyun stares at you, long enough for you to feel uncomfortable and change your seating position. "Pay attention. Taeil thinks he's got a lead. Taeil, you may continue."
Taeil, in his black jeans and buttoned down black shirt moves over to the white board which is adorned with all our findings and possible clues. "We've always thought that the body might've been carried out through the girl's window. But we spotted something yesterday." Taeil pins onto the board two images of grassland as well as road tracks. "Drops of blood."
You lean in your seat paying close attention. Any information is information for your ears, the D.A is already at your neck about locking up Jaemin and you can't let that happen.
"We found the blood on the doorstep of the backdoor and on the road in the back alley. Coincidence that it might've been for a stray or passer, we disagree because we tested the blood and it's a match to the girl." Taeil runs a hand through his hair. "Meaning, the body was carried, but it was wrapped in something sealed tight that only drops of blood could be let out. Right now, we've got 6 search dogs on different routes, searching for another possible droplet."
"Why not use the security camera on the block? Have you not yet received it?" You enquire.
"Honestly getting the fucker on cam and closing this case would be the best thing right now." Taeil turns his head in your direction. "The security camera footage has been stolen. My guess, the person who hid the body has the tape. We opted for a copy of the tape, they told us it's already been sent to the prospects. We ask Jaemin if he received any tape, he lyingly said no feigning crocodile tears. It's obvious that he has it and is lying. I'm strongly leaning on Jaemin."
"Not only that, he has barely been to his house. Something's off-putting about him, and he's starting to slip." Jaehyun inputs.
"Why not Chae?" You surprise yourself as well as Jaehyun and Taeil. But you roll on with the dice you threw. "They live in a hotel, a hotel that he owns. Jaemin hasn't been to his house in 4 good days and has spent it in his office grieving for his child. Meanwhile Chae is constantly on sight despite being pregnant. Why suspect Jaemin of stealing the tape when he hasn't been around, for all we know it could've been another detective. He's a simple man grieving now because he just lost his fucking child. I'm not trying to disrespect you or your words, but I think we should still keep our options open on who we think the suspect is."
"We can't keep the line open because it's goddamn self explanatory of who the killer is." Taeil rebuts. "Besides, that's not our department."
"It's not Jaemin-"
"Look if you wanna be a lawyer and prove his innocence you're in the wrong department-"
"You said you found droplets of blood on the backdoor exit and back alley, you asked for a tape and they claimed that they gave it to the prospects. I'm not complaining, my problem is why would he hide the tape?"
"Because he's the killer." Taeil deadpans, his head so wrapped around Jaemin being the killer.
"No. Listen to yourself. If he's the killer, you mean to tell me, he killed his child in her room, had a chance to escape the house and go wherever with the child and return back to the house, with no print? I strongly disagree. He said he was in the house all through out the night, even when the police were called, he was in the house. He never left the house-"
"I don't trust a word that guy says. His narrative kept changing whenever we asked him were he was."
"That doesn't mean you get to-"
"You weren't kidding when you said she's hell bent on taking his side." Taeil peers to Jaehyun tiredly cutting you off. "Why'd they pair her up with you? Listen here intern. We're not going to do things your way. When evidence is present we stay on it until we have the person confess or behind bars."
The rest of the discussion goes on with Taeil and you bickering about Jaemin's innocence before Jaehyun calls it progress getting us to end the meeting due to our endless back and forth comments.
"You argue like a kid. An illiterate kid might I add. All the facts are laid out in front of you, the defense attorney general is already filing up a lawsuit and you're still asking for more time on Mr Na Jaemin." Jaehyun rephrases out your whole situation in a nutshell. But everything is far from being in a nutshell. "Why? I'll keep asking this question until the end of this case, so get used to it. I'm really curious as to why you're pushing every moral you learnt in your years and months of training, for Mr Na. What did you see? Did you see something? What is it? Tell me, because I'm a second away from handcuffing him myself."
"Sir, please just give me, more time-"
"We don't have that time you're looking for. Other units have already closed in on Jaemin, his own family is already suspecting him and on top of that the faster we get him in and interrogate him, the faster we can find his child and where he hid her body."
You stand firm giving your best determination stare. "Sir. Give me just 3 days."
"3 fucking weeks have passed since we started this case. It's not looking good if we keep this open for a month, the prosecutors will take over the case and we'll be underneath their control. I don't work like that. We need to pack up and lock up now."
"Fine. Give me a day. Please." You beg.
Jaehyun folds his arms running his tongue against his lips. His eyes, hollow and deep, show how much he's neglected sleep for this case. If you think you've been working hard, then you certainly haven't seen how strained Jaehyun has worked and how easily he found all the clues to close in on Jaemin. However Jaehyun is no fool. With your compartment and the way you've been acting around the whole case, his active brain worked out that you may have had some kind of entanglement with Jaemin. It wasn't only him, Taeil questioned your motive on multiple occasions, however today he asked if you were Jaemin's lover of the past or else it made no sense why you defended him when all the ways were pointing to him.
Holding back his tongue from what he believes, he simply eyes you, and with the way you don't back down, your eyes pleading for some more time. Your eyes urge him to investigate you and Jaemin's relationship. It's why he nods his head when he says: "You've got the rest of this day and tomorrow. No more chances. Get going."
You don't have time to express your contentment when you're already picking up your phone and ordering a ride-
"Intern."
You stop by the elevator when Jaehyun calls you back. "Yes sir?"
"I'm locking him up tomorrow if you have nothing."
You thought that you'd be fueled up and eager to get moving, however once you get inside your ride and give the address of the hotel, you're drained, frustrated and overwhelmed. It's not fair. Jaemin is innocent. He didn't do anything, but surprisingly all the evidence has been pointing to him. The neighbors claim that they last saw him taking her to school in the morning as usual, the parents at school claimed that a male picked her up (most likely Mark) but the team of detectives are hell bent on making it all about Jaemin. His wife claims that she wasn't well and went to the clinic the whole day (she's got a doctor's note to prove it). However she claims that Jaemin took the child to the sleepover centre- to which Jaemin strongly denied but nobody listened to him. It's even worse when the sleepover centre mentions that the child hadn't come. So officers are leaning on the fact that Jaemin could've killed her since the afternoon and he hid her body and feigned ignorance.
The case runs all over your head when you enter the prestigious hotel, which has slightly been affected by the situation in which Jaemin is a main suspect. It's really alarming how the media gets it's sources and are always ready to twist and manipulate facts.
You walk past the guard giving him a tight smile as he knows who you are and opens up the door for you letting you pass. You're about to head on to their top leveled apartment until your eyes latch onto a familiar black leather jacket, black drenched hair and dispirited Jaemin making his way through. Your eyes narrow a bit when following his direction with your eyes. Your legs are no stranger to stalking as you walk up following him and where ever he's going. He enters through a door entitled staff only. You get your badge ready just in case you have to use it. Its not until you open up the door to an empty white lit corridor leading in one direction.
You carefully walk along the path until you spot some stairs that lead to an underground basement filled with (assumedly) residents cars. The parking area is darkly dim, with no sign of staff members to watch over the cars.
You freeze in your step, when your eyes catch a figure standing by a grey door. It's Jaemin. Your breath hitches in your throat when he leaves the door open and enters inside...
Your legs take in the invitation as you climb down the rest of the stairs passing by the parking set of expensive cars before following the passage way until you reach the door that's blending in with the wall. The door is already open, so you enter inside- with your eyes slightly straining from the brightness of the pure white light in the room- office....private parking?
The office is large, with a clear see though desk holding up a laptop and some documents. By the side of the office there's some frames of photo certificates of different deals. Jaemin's handsomely in some pictures shaking hands while at the same time, other photos are simply signed certificates. However, what throws you off the most is the sleeked back, navy blue, extravagantly catching the light by its posh outline.
Seeing as Jaemin is nowhere in the office, you most likely think he's in the car. And strangely enough he's inside the car, drinking from a whine glass sophisticatedly. Trying your luck, seeing as though he knew you where following him and wanted you to follow him, you pull open the door that's unlocked.
Not even hesitating, your leg steps inside the posh car and you comfortably situate yourself before closing the door.
Inside the car, there's light air conditioning, music swaying gracefully along the speakers softly and a carefree and unbothered male sitting on the driver's seat while drinking from his wine glass. Aside from the music playing, it's silent in the car as you listen to Jaemin adorn himself in the drink and the air condition leak out cool streams of air. Behind the gear stick, there's a little presentable set of a tray with the darling red whine bottle.
Jaemin leans towards your side opening up the compartment lid and taking out a wine glass with a handkerchief. Cleaning the glass and setting it down on the tray next to his empty glass, he begins to fill up the glasses and smoothly tilts a filled glass towards you.
Silently you take the glass from it's steam and chuckle, which delightfully gets him to smile despite the darkness underneath his eyes. Feeling like you're in the bar again, you take a small sip of your drink before turning your gaze to him. With flattery, you catch his attention when you speak.
"Wine," You smile, teasingly, imitating the way you first spoke when you were in the bar. "That isn't a drink to drink alone. Mind if I join?"
Jaemin's lips quivers revealing a little smile. He picks up on his own glass meeting yours half way as you both clink on it. He takes one big gulp, finishing the whole glass, while you take another sip, letting the flavour and the taste swirl around your taste buds. "So, what's the occasion? A fine lady like yourself shouldn't be in a place like this," He perfectly recalls your conversation, causing you to engage and pursue the way you did.
"I could say the same for you," you giggle, crossing your legs and leaning back on your seat. Just like when you were at the bar, he looks nervous and a bit hesitant. "It's not everyday, I come across a distressed man drowning wine instead of alcohol," You try to tone down a bit.
However, he sharply intakes a deep breath also leaning back on his seat. "What can I say," He surprisingly turns his head into your direction. Your breath hitches in your throat when his enduring dark brown eyes take in your being. He literally looks at you, causing the pits of your stomach to flutter. "I'm merely a god. I'm simply a man with problems, sitting next to a goddess with the most spectacular eyes,"
You nervously laugh, your inability to make eye contact for a long period dawns on you and you turn away. However Jaemin's eyes are still on you, analyzing your neck sinking and the coats on cheeks lightly changing colour.
That makes him smile, relaxed and free. Just like the first time he laid his eyes into your own enchanting soul. He sets his empty glass down on the tray, his fingers moving along his own while he constantly fumbles on deciding whether to continue drinking as planned or...draw into this conversation and see where it leads to.
You drink your drink avoiding eye contact, but your lips tugging upwards brightens your face. Jaemin's fingers itches to feel how warm your face is yet he refrains himself.
"How are you?" You ask, when noticing he's lost a bit of weight and a lot of his charming smile.
Jaemin blinks away the stars before focusing back on you.
"I heard you had a service of burial last week Saturday... without her body," You mention, your eyes finding his again. "It must've been hard."
Jaemin takes in a breath nodding his head, consciously aware of who you are now. A detective. Instead of answering you, he takes out his phone unlocking it and instantly seeing his little girl, Daejun's eyes.
You lean in when he brings his phone close to you, showing you a picture. In such a pretty beige dress with white hems, Jaemin crouches down beside her with his arms wrapped around her. Your eyes find his again (which are tenderly already on you) for a second before you both make it back to the pictures. He nudges his phone towards you and you take it in your hands, sliding to the next picture and next and next. There's even a picture and video were he's doing her hair. Jaemin's approximation with his child only mourns into your heart, as you think of your own parents and the day you were mourning over them.
Jaemin was an ideal father figure for the little girl. If you didn't know that it was his sisters child, you would seriously believe that it was his child. Then again, he took the child in as his own. He built a bond with her from the very beginning. You even tear up a bit when seeing that he had a picture of her at birth inside of the incubator breathing chamber for premature babies. You see Jaemin everywhere with little Daejun, she was his own daughter.
"My parents..." You sniff when releasing that it does hurt. "I never...they both died after giving birth to me. My mum in labour and my dad in a car accident while driving to the hospital." You smile tightly and shut your eyes afraid of letting the tears out. "She's...really lucky to have had a dad like you. I'm sorry for your loss,"
Jaemin's eyes are glued to the picture and he nods his head. "I'm sorry about your parents,"
"It's okay, I never really knew them," You hum out. "But, thank you. Honestly, you reminded me of my childhood. These pictures, brought back those times I spent at the orphanage home. And that day when I came by to your house, and spoke as though your child meant nothing, really reminded me that it's not easy to lose someone dear to your hear."
"Can I share something with you too?" He asks meekly. You give him your attention, allowing him to take refuge in your silence as he speaks. "I'm sorry for that night. That night I...asked you to sleep with me. I should've been fully honest that I was married and had a kid. Maybe if I was honest.."
You breath out and nod your head. "Are you blaming yourself again?"
Jaemin doesn't say anything, and when you look at him, he's deep in himself looking tired. "I should've been there." His tears are unintentional but when they're by the brim of his eyes and he blinks, your hand mindlessly cups his cheeks as your thumb wipe gently under his eye. Your hand goes underneath his other eye before landing back against his cheek. "If only I paid close attention to her that day, then I wouldn't have lost her..."
You have no words to say, no words of comfort, no words to shake off how useless he was feeling. You also felt like shit after finding out he had a child and a wife. Your hand does the talking, allowing him to cry as your touch brushes underneath his ear to massage his hair. Careful not to accidentally knock over the glasses, your other hand sets the glasses on the empty cupholder closer to your seat, and the wine bottle down and finally removing the tray placing it down. Fixing your position you allow yourself to lean close just to run your fingers into his hair and onto his scalp.
Jaemin's eyes blissfully close by the sensation your fingers bring and by the feeling you provide. He leans into your touch while leaning back on his seat, simply watching you. To think you were an orphan. It would make sense on your views and why you were sensitive. At the bar, you came with full intent to get laid, but when he started to speak to you and you considered a conversation, he noticed that you seemed hurt and afraid to open.
You both barely spoke about yourselves yet you seemed to understand and know each other just by the way your eyes were on each other.
"For the past couple of months, my wife and I were rocky with each other. Avoiding each other because of a misunderstanding and this growing dislike to one another. She was getting a bit too comfortable with going behind my back and making deals, and having this idea of sending Daejun overseas to finish her studies. I mean, it's not a bad idea, but Daejun's deaf and from the beginning I've been with her. Heck, I vowed to always be there for her," He sighs.
Staying quiet for a bit allowing himself to recall the days before this incident.
"I've always been there with her and for her. I didn't like the idea of her being far at such a young age. I mean, was it wrong for me to want to be close to her until maybe the day she graduated? I just wanted to protect her and be with her, teach her things, learn with her, watch her grow, see her smile, care for her, comfort her, help her whenever she needed me...I just wanted to be there for her. Its all I want.." Jaemin's eyes lower. "It's all I wanted,"
"After stating that I didn't agree, that I didn't want to let her go, Chae got so furious." Jaemin continues. "She signed Daejun for aftercare and day-care services, and registering her to live at a dormitory home for mute and deaf kids. Anything concerning Daejun, Chae would take it upon herself to make final decisions without my consent."
You frown, whilst still patting his head. "How come?"
"I don't know. And whenever I ask, she'd tell me Daejun went for sleepover at her friends place. Only to find out that Daejun had been going to aftercare after school and straight to the dormitory. I cancelled that immediately, only to find out that Chae, as my wife, opted that all matters concerning Daejun should be informed only to her because I, as Daejun's father was too busy. She changed it all," Jaemin shakes his head slowly. "I thought they had a good relationship, but when Daejun asked me to start taking her to school, because she didn't want to be around Chae, I understood that Chae really did a number on her. I spoke to Chae, and that's where the arguments began. It got to the point where I wanted to leave with Daejun. Chae got too controlling of Daejun, or rather just trying to get Daejun out the house. So I warned her that I'd leave her if she kept doing what she was doing." Jaemin scoffs.
As a middle person, you have no right to enter into their relationship problems. But as a detective, this is all news to your ears. However, right now, as he himself is confiding in you, you gradually engage with him. "So why didn't you leave her?" You feel 'botchy' for asking that kind of question, however the gears in your head are turning. Leaving Chae or resolving the matter back then, could've probably not led up to this.
Not to say you were suspecting Chae, but...Chae's pursuit to get rid of Daejun has kind of worked. Except Daejun's dead.
"She told me that I can't leave because she's got a child." Jaemin answers."
"Her pregnancy right now?" You ask. Recalling Haechan's words and how he said Jaemin thinks she's faking it, or that she's not really pregnant- you can't remember it well, but Haechan's words come to mind.
"I couldn't leave her, because I had to take responsibility for what I did. That's until I found out." Although he looks indifferent to Chae's distaste for Daejun, you notice his face changes when talking about Chae's pregnancy. He looks almost disappointed and ashamed. "Stillborn."
Your eyes widen by his words. Making your busy thoughts halt. Stillborn? Chae's baby. Chae has a stillborn baby? The baby...is dead?
"There's a doctor's report somewhere in the house." Jaemin shuts his eyes, and you can only imagine that he's pouring in anguish as his jaw trembles and tongue pokes his cheek. "On that same day that Daejun disappeared Prior. Early in the morning. After dropping Daejun. After Chae went to the hospital. I found the report and read it. I tried to confront her about it... But...the thought of saying it out loud. That my first actual child was sitting dead in that womb. That my first unborn child was no longer living. That maybe, because of the stress in the house, I caused Chae to lose our child. A child which I hadn't even laid eyes on...my child was dead. The responsibility that I stayed for, was no longer there. I couldn't... I don't know why you she didn't tell me. Why she kept carrying it while knowing that it was dead? On the other hand, she kept trying to push Daejun out the house, as if it was Daejun's fault.... I know it's stupid to think that. But the fact that my child had died months ago, and she kept making life harder for my little gem filled me with frustration, pain, but most of all regret. For so many things. I don't even remember where I went. I was limbo. All I know is that I was tired. The thought of leaving her crossed my mind, but after finding out about my stillborn baby... I just wanted to comfort her until she would be okay. I even thought staying with her, along with Daejun would make up for her loss...our loss. I wanna say that, we did that to the baby, but in me deep down I keep blaming myself. I remember just trying to get rid of everything I was feeling. But on that day, I don't even remember my thoughts. They were too much. I... Chae's been keeping secrets from me, acting strange with Daejun- now that I think of it, Daejun would ask...would sign to me, if Chae was angry with her. I was... To be vague, sleeping with you made me wonder why I put up with her in the first place. Why I let myself be trapped and lost in this predicament?"
He stayed with her because of her new growing baby in her womb. But that morning he found out that the baby was actually dead. It set him off character. It's on that same night he went out to the bar and slept with another woman...with you.
Your brain begins to work in detective mode. While your ears are sincerely open to everything he saye, your mind was piecing pieces together. This could be the key to his innocence. It makes sense why he never spoke up during his confession statement. He was in and out of it that he didn't want to hurt Chae, nor let his mind wander to the drastic and sudden present reality. Not to mention he slept with you and you showed up as a detective.
"You know...I had a sister... Daejun's mother- I didn't sleep with my sister if that's what you're thinking. My sister passed away, and left Daejun behind. But before that, when she was still alive, she really wanted to make sure that her child would be in good hands just in case she'd go. Of course she trusted me, however she believed that a mother would know best. A woman with a good heart, who'd look after her child. At the time, I was betrothed to Chae since childhood and assumed she wouldn't mind looking after Daejun with me if my sister had to pass." Jaemin's somber eyes reveal such a deep emotion of sadness that it makes you- literally- want to embrace him until everything would be okay.
"Jaemin, no. Please don't do this to yourself." You plead, running your hand gently across his cheek, using your thumb to caress his skin. "It's not your fault," You whisper out, maintaining a firm, and strongly positive attitude. "It's not anybody's fault of why this happened. Don't blame yourself please. You know, somethings in life, need to happen for a bigger picture to be revealed. For a brighter future, for joy and peace to come. I... I don't have the answers, but I'm speaking from experience. Things happen for a reason. We can't see it now, but I'm certain that they'll eventually make sense and make the pain go away. It felt really good being with you that night, but I felt like complete shit after sleeping with you knowing you were married. Yet, I don't know how or why, but after that day and continuously investing myself in this case, a lot of things that were unclear in my life became clear again. And I'm not saying this to disregard that Daejun was being brutally hurt while we were together, but I'm saying that... you don't have to blame yourself. The pain of losing Daejun will never go away as you're her father, but I want you to simply picture her in a good light. You gave her a lot of security and assurance that you were always there for her. You were her abahbah, and she loved you so much so that you shared a special bond, despite not being her real dad- she considered you so much. And from everything I've seen when being with you, you care a lot for everyone around you. You genuinely take responsibility with determination and you put your all into everything. I promise you, one day, it'll make sense. Just don't blame yourself please."
Jaemin nods his head smiling meekly at you. You smile back, still running your fingers over his scalp.
"Would you..." Jaemin breathes out. "I mean, if Daejun were still alive...I'm not asking anything weird, but...would you look after her?"
The sudden question shocks you out of your train thought and you have to bring your thoughts back to the present conversation. "Honestly, when I was growing up in the orphanage and would go to school seeing all these parents loving their children and buying all sorts of gifts and snakes and toys, there was nothing more I wanted them being adopted by two loving people who wouldn't mind giving me the world." You smile at your child thought coming to light. "Sadly I was never adopted. But I was filled with the urge to comfort families who lost their kids. And sadly, yet again, I feel like I had lost my main motive for why I wanted to be a detective when it became all about forgetting my ex and just getting this job, that I didn't care as much about the families and who they lost. As long as it kept me busy, then I didn't care. But, in regards to your question and this case. I adjusted my character a lot, I mean...you've even got me fighting for your innocence with the passion I had before. So, I'm not saying I would, but if D-Daejun felt comfortable with me, I think I'd be comfortable with her too. But I can't really say that, it's been a real struggle to allow myself to be selfless. But for you... I think I'd try."
Jaemin's warm hand circles around your wrist and by the contact of his soft hand on your skin, you bite the inside of your cheek with anticipation. Although his eyes gaze deeply into yours, his lips travel along the insides of your palm, just as he intertwines your fingers together. His lips slide from your palm to your wrist before he turns your hand around planting light kisses on your backhand. His eyes shut as he gatherers both his hands to engulf your own planting little kisses, yet meekly playing with your fingers. He doesn't open his eyes, but his lips move. "I never even thought about that. If Daejun would be comfortable... I think she would've been comfortable with you. And besides, when we met at the bar, you were very much selfless when paying attention to me sincerely. When finding out that she... disappeared, I lost hope in leaving Chae. Leaving her will pin me out to be the real culprit. But you need to believe me,"
His eyes open, peering into yours, hopefully and faithfully. The stars that twinkled on that night you together, are shining brightly in his eyes again right now. Your eyes latch onto his hidden lips as he continues to kiss your hand, before he stops for a second and says your name. Your stomach twirls inside and you can't help but suck in a breath, especially when his long lashes pane upwards filling you up with his soul.
"No matter what they say," He shakes his head whispering. "I didn't kill her,"
"I know,"
And just like the last time, your hand that's securely in his manages to get back on his face just as he draws near and you both meet half way in crashing your lips against each other. It's like a magnetic force keeping you in bound within his reach, your hand that's on his face gets tangled within the depths of his hair, just as his soft hands grasp onto your face while his other hand moves down your side lifting you up.
From your seat your leg eagerly shifts when you plant them on either side of him sitting up on his lap. Your lips gasp out when his mouth departs from yours and straight to your neck. His mouth leaving open kisses just as his hands roam around your back, down to your butt. Mumbling between your neck he asks: "You have no idea how much I missed you. Do you want me to make you feel good?"
Jaemin watched as you climbed on top of his lap, and his brain was just so deeply filled with the idea that he wanted you. You hum out in response, but it's muffled by your moan when his lips suck on your neck again bringing your body down. Your hand taps above, turning on the lights in the car.
"God, | missed you so much," he whispers in your ear again, trailing kisses down your neck. “Gonna make you feel so good."
"Jaemin, please,” you whimper at his words. You truly missed him too, missed this. You missed everything about him. Just by the touch of his fingers, that weren't too fast neither too slow in discarding your clothes, piece by piece, while still maintaining a perfectly steamy kiss as he takes your breath away. You let him remove your clothes, your tongue focused on his own as you fight for dominance- which he's clearly winning. Your blazer, your pullover, he unbottons your shirt sliding them off your shoulders moaning out when feeling your hot skin.
You pull your tight vest, as well as your sports bra over your head once, your boobs falling out and Jaemin instantly catching them mounting his lips on them and making it a mission to please both of them.
While you moan out by his kisses, his charming laugh while fanboying over your boobs and tongue action only edge you to unbotton your jeans as quick as possible. He laughs and stops your hands. "You're in such a hurry let me do it." He chuckles lovely again, shifting his reclining chair smoothly back until it hits the back seat before he makes the seat alignment slanted to make him laying down easier.
Meanwhile your hands slide underneath his white shirt, getting over his chest and slightly squeezing his man nipples. You smile when he bites his lip emitting a low groan. "You like that?" You smirk.
You laugh at his meek behavior and holding his shoulders down to the lowered seat, you grind your hips on his hard growing member. Dry humping him exactly like a dog in heat. The car is filled with sounds of ecstasy, with Jaemin groaning out as you moaning out when feeling his bulge pulsating underneath you. His hands finding your boobs and squeezing them and spreading his hands over them bringing them together, minding how soft they are, how perky your nipples are, how warm they are and how he can feel your heart beat while squeezing.
"Rock paper scissors for who gets to start," his needy eyes looking into your own, just as he bucks his hips upwards his hands leaving your boobs by gripping your hips continuing his motion. He bucks his hips up roughly again. He presses you harder into him while he moves his hips up trying to reach his high.
"Jaemin I just want you now,"
"| know baby, | know, it'll be faster if you play rock." He positions his fist forward and you roll your eyes playfully doing the same thing. The motion of his hips stop with him panting out, however you continue circling your hands over the hard materials trying to feel him.
"Rock paper scissors!" You play a rock as instructed and he plays a scissor.
"Yes!" You cheer, while fumbling with your pants again, going back to your seat to remove and kick off your trousers remaining in your black laced thong. Similar to Jaemin who unfastens his belt and brings down his pants and boxers leaving them at his knees. Your eyes marvel when his hard rocking cock shoots up and slaps his abdomen. "So hard," you coo biting your lip.
He lets out a low curse when you climb on top of him again, your clit already moist over your thong as you slide over his dick instead of allowing it inside you. "Are you really teasing me with your wet pussy? Tease." he grunts yet looking pleased to the extreme. "Shit." You hold onto his shoulders slippery grinding your hips back and forth on his shaft that's still over his stomach. Your wetness only lubricating over his. "Fuck," he holds onto your hips following your movement and the way your hips roll.
You throw your head back as your hands are placed over your boobs, fumbling and folding and feeling the warmth and softness. Jaemin's back gets off the lowered seat going up to kiss your lips as his hands drift to your ass. "Up," you let out in between the tongue deep kiss.
Jaemin grips your ass holding you up while you move your panties to the side and slid onto him. You both moan out even with your lips sealed together. Your muffled moans continue as you push yourself all the way down till you met his hood.
"Shit." Jaemin moans out when you push him back down the seat having your way. The windows of the car already giving the foggy appearance. Jaemin proudly let's out his grunts watching as you bounced up and down, your boobs bouncing in his face making him flustered.
You laugh placing your hand on the roof of the car at Jaemin's red face when he places a hand over to cover. Your walls clench around him, and he bit his lip. You lean forward moving his hand gripping his jaw making him look at you. "I love your face looking like this," you moan, as Jaemin tries to maintain contact but when you begin to suck and kiss on his neck he loses it. His hands grip your ass hard as he holds you in place making you go faster, thrashing you up and down over his rock hard cock.
You stop kissing his neck to cry out in ecstasy when his hips begin to play into action while smashing you furiously and with such unknown speed. Your bodies colliding together as your eyes tightly shut feeling his thrusts going deeper and deeper. You moan out as you and Jaemin both cum at the same time falling on the seat with you on top of him. You can feel his liquids in you swimming together with your own wetness, you both don't move. You keep yourself deeper feeling the pulsating of his cock and you roll your eyes back riding out your high by moving on his dick back and forth. To hush your moans you kiss him, passionately. You feel Jaemin continue to fill you up completely and his breathing matching yours as you pant out heavily.
"My turn," Jaemin simply says and with one hand he presses you onto his body as his other hand slides down your spine to your hips, lifting you off his shaft. Gathering your wetness with his fingers, he slowly slips his digits inside of you making you squeal by his three fingers. He works his fingers in you, dying by that quenching sound and your heat closing up on him. Making that beautiful curl motion with his fingers that you love so much. He starts hitting your spot just as his thumb rubs evenly fast over your bud- making you immediately shake.
"Jaemin," you cryingly moan out in pleasure, your fluids getting louder and louder as your eyes struggle to remain open. He laughs deeply at your shaking legs, his hand on you back sliding down to grip your ass. You groan, already sickeningly close to another orgasm. "Jaemin," you whine, rocking against his fingers with fervor and need. You gasp trying to lift yourself up, only for his large hand to find your back again placing you down over to chest. As he places you down again, you can feel his throbbing cock give warmth over your body. Feeling yourself flutter around Jaemin's fingers, you arch your back outwards and gasp as you harshly cum again, and your legs and butt lift up by themselves still shaking. Jaemin's fingers continue to work, but now with two fingers. He rides them into your sensitive swollen pussy and you ride his fingers in the air through your high- your eyes animatedly rolled back. You fall back on Jaemin's chest panting out in ecstasy when your thong is slapped back into pussy
This is pussy drunk.
Jaemin adjusts his position to be on top of you, as you lay back on the lowered seat. He frees one of his legs from his pants, as he goes down on his knee ready to taste you. His kisses start at your lowered stomach making your moan as he goes lower and lower.
His wet, cold hair slightly touching your ribs making you shiver at the sudden contact. He places kisses to your inner thighs, glancing up at you from time to time to make sure you're alright.
"Are you still strong?"
"Jaemin just give it to me," you whimper at his words. You truly missed this. You missed everything about him. How he made you feel. Jaemin kisses your wet clit, pulling your thong aside and slowly adding his tongue to the mix, lapping at your pussy, his tongue spelling out his name on your heat, before sucking and deeply inserting his tongue. When you hips shake again, Jaemin holds onto your rising legs and gets on top of you.
He leans into your ear moaning out. "I wanna feel you in me, but slowly."
He wastes no time in diving inside you with his risen dick pulling sweet moans out of your throat. He takes his time with you, going from just the tip gripping in and out of you to fucking you slowly and passionate while leaving wet kisses all over your neck. When your moans grow louder and your hips start thrusting back, he knows you're close. He really just wanted to enjoy you with a free mind. He picks up his pace, going faster now, his own orgasm approaching. His thrusts practically getting animalistic not a sense of empathy or corcern for your wellbeing- however contradicting being there as he kisses your forehead eery once in a while, running his hand over your sweaty damp hair. You loved him really, really loved it, you craved him more than you did the sex but this love making is even better with him.
Your muscles are tight, your legs were shaking erratically and you don't know if there's tears of pleasure falling out your eyes. Whatever it is, you know that you never wanna leave him and that you always want to be there with him.
"I'm cl-close-" your words get cut off by your moans. He grabs your waist with one hand, moving with the same passion. His other hand moves to rub at your clit, slow, tight circles. He buries his face in your neck as his own moans and groans grow louder and finally-
"Ahhhh!" You both cum again, looking straight into each others eyes taking in the look of pure pleasure combined with a heavy thirst for each other. Your lips find their place again when you both suck deeply feeling your body moulded together. He was definitely made for you. And you hate that his got a wife. But you can't help it when your hands go around his neck allowing him to be embraced into you as you savor this moment. You're even awestruck when he whispers into your ear: "Your mine."
His cock slips almost completely out of your pussy before it sinks back in the girth, having you feeling like you are being stuffed full even though it's just the tip. Your puffy pussy wraps around his cock like warm, wet, and tight glove. And he can't get enough of it trying to maintain his breathing. You feel so good around him, he's never felt like this before when having sex. Your body aligns with him so perfect that he just wants you in him forever.
"I would selfishly ask you to stay for tonight," Harsh breaths leave his lips as he groans. "I need you all night long.. but you have to go to work, right?"
You sigh, but it turns into arousal when he speeds up his movements earning a pathetic pornographic moan from your mumbling lips. "Jaemin," You pout. "Your dick is too big, I can feel it in my chest,"
"Chest?" He laughs lightly looking all over your face. "Is that so?" He whispers going out again and full loading in again causing your back to arch into his, making him chuckle.
"Mmhm.."
He grunts, loving your expression and eyes that tenderly gaze at him. "But you love it, yeah? You love me don't you?"
Instead of answering him, your hands go from his hair to being placed underneath his neck. You look into his eyes, straight into his brown wanders and smile. You don't answer and neither does he expect an answer because you both dive in to feel each other's lips again. To feel the warmth of his own tongue against yours. Pulling away, your eyes take him in. Strands of his black hair stuck to his sweaty forehead. "I love you," you moan out when he thrusts in you. "I love the way you fuck my pussy, Na Jaemin. Meeting you is the best thing that's ever happened to me,"
"I love you too," He kisses your neck hiding his smile. "I love the way your pussy and body takes me in." Maybe it's a hidden rule to never say the big three words during sex, but right now during the heat of the moment you both feel something that's undescribable- and the only way to describe it, is simply love. You both can't resist the dawning attraction that you both get into another session of slow yet long strokes of nasty yet passionate car sex.
Breathlessly while riding him from the back and allowing him to roam his hands on your ass, you thrust yourself inside of him while twirling your hips and rounding him with speed. You moan out aloud while holding onto the steering wheel gasping for air when he takes over in pumping inside of a you a few long strokes before releasing. In sheer ecstasy you throw your head back as you both combine your voice to let out your vocals of pleasure.
Your eyes are drawn to a little red light flickering on and of. It's a dashboard camera. You smile and turn to him just as he slaps your ass. He chuckles looking flustered and fucked out of his mind. "You've got yourself a sex tape,"
"Sex tape?" You point to the camera and a look of recognition crosses his face. "I should probably remove that. Probably would need to replace the memory card," he chuckles a little. "Come on," Getting off his shaft and sneaking next to him, your lips attach themselves onto each other again. You both can't get enough of each other, desperately needing him close to you.
Both losing track of time, you stare into each other's eyes with admiration taking in your boldness and fierce approval of each other. You're pleasing to his eyes and he's perfect for you. A smile grows on your lips and you rest your head on his.
You stay with him in the car, as he wraps his black leather jacket around yours shoulders, while you wrap your own blazer over his and your waist allowing sleep to consume the both of you. And for the first time in a long while, you feel like you can actually sleep and take rest.
Useless.
Because thirty minutes later, you're awakened by your ringing phone. With your leg draped over Jaemin and his arm securely around yours you can't help but wish this case was already over.
Cleaning up with the hand wipes he has in his car, you dress up quickly leaving him still rested in the car smiling and looking peaceful when you kiss him in departing. Your lips not having enough of him, and neither he having enough of you when he tries to get you to stay again.
Patting your wet hair down as you tie it in a low bun, you make your way outside the car and out the office. There's an off smell that you smell, but you brush it off thinking it's the congested air from within the car. Walking out the dark parking lot and up the stairs getting back to the main lobby, you're stunned and stopped in place when seeing Chae by the elevator.
Upon seeing you, she smiles sadly and waves you over. Shit. You whisper to yourself getting in the elevator with her.
"I didn't know you were coming,"
"Oh," You nervously adjust your blazer, feeling as though she's got x-ray vision and can spot Jaemin's hands on your body. You smile looking away from her. "Wanted to check on you actually. Uhm... I had questions I wanted to ask, but if you're busy-"
"No, I'm available. I just went for a walk with Mark,"
You nod your head purposely avoiding her eyes until you can get the guilt out your system. When the elevator stops and you both walk out the lift going over to the apartment door. You wonder whether you should question her based off of what Jaemin revealed to you about her, or if you should just go with the flow of your initial reason of stepping in.
Entering into the apartment, your eyes take in the massive amount of space when there are no people. There's already set furniture, all matching with the cleanliness of the space. The curtains are open revealing the beautiful pent view of the sunset and the city outline. You move forward in the apartment looking outside. "It's crazy how we still haven't found her e body,"
Chae who's in the kitchen boiling some water looks through the open kitchen view to you standing by the floor to top ceiling window. She remains silent and continues preparing the tea. Once she's finished, she walks over with the tray of tea and sets it down on the table taking a seat on the long white couch looking at you.
"Tea?"
Turning your head away from the cyberspace city and all the lights coming on, you politely join her on the couch. "Thanks,"
"Have you seen Jaemin since?"
Trying not to be panicked you breath in and nod your head. "Here and there." You quickly drink on your tea avoiding eye contact.
Chae however scoffs and shakes her head. "It must be nice being an officer. You get to see him. Meanwhile I haven't seen him since the burial. I don't know what's going on with us anymore. He's avoiding me,"
You stop pretending to drink, looking down at her hands over her pregnant stomach. Stillborn. You remember Jaemin saying. "He must be grieving,"
She huffs and leans back. "Grieving? I think he wants to leave me."
You gulp tightening your lip. "That's a heavy accusation."
"But it's true," Chae sadly says breathing out. "Even before his daughter to go missing, we were starting to get rocky. I don't know, but I keep getting the feeling he knows," You drink on your tea trying not to speak but urging her to speak, peeking in her direction seeing her looking at her stomach circling it slowly with a saddened face. "Marriage. A fucking tool to create babies and a legacy. I wanted my own kids, but he already had her, that little deaf girl. Wasn't even his. I thought he wanted kids, since he loved her so much. So I wanted to give him a child, so that he could be happy. But... We weren't having any time together because of her. I slept with Mark."
You completely halt in your thoughts when she says her last phrase. Your head blank when looking at her. Suddenly the guilt weighs off your shoulders, the guilt of making Jaemin cheat on his wife. It doesn't mean what you did is good, if anything it shows how really marriage is a tool to keep couples together and imbalances happen when women like you invade a home, or even worse, when women inside a marriage seek help outside in order to fix and adjust a problem in their marriage. Sleeping in the marriage and making it bitter, is what you can kind of feel has happened to Jaemin and Chae.
Him already having a child. And Chae simply wanting her husband to focus on her, instead of the outsider.
She shakes her head. "And even that went wrong. I'm supposed to be due next month, but....my baby's dead. And I feel so fucking sad." She sniffs. "I don't know how to look at Mark and tell him his baby is dead, and I don't know how to look to Jaemin and tell him what I've done and that the baby I had for him has passed."
"Chae," You set your tea down gently and open your arms allowing her to lay her head on you.
"Is it so wrong that I just wanted him to love me? I tried everything to get her into another good home, or to study abroad and even get means to make her independent and an individualist, but Jaemin refused all that and just wanted to watch over her. For crying out loud, he married me. Did he just wants to use me? If he can love a child that's not his in that way, then he can most certainly love a child that's not his. Right?" She questions. "Getting into marriage I thought I'd be able to cope looking after his sisters child, but I couldn't. He just used me, he didn't really need me or love me. Only that deaf girl. I didn't even mean to sleep with Mark. It was by accident. But when I was knocked up and saw Jaemin attach himself deeper to the girl and wanting to leave me, I told him that I had his child."
The fact that Chae, herself is opening up sends you into therapy mode. At the end of the day, she's still a person who's lost her child. She ended up telling you that the baby is dead inside here womb and that she slept with Mark - in other words the baby wasn't even for Jaemin.. making it saddening that he cried for a baby that wasn't even his and feeling guilty over a baby that wasn't his.
"I think he already knew a long time ago that I cheated on him. Otherwise he wouldn't have brought an unknown lady into our house and fucked her while his daughter was being killed." She sniffs again.
Your hands freeze completely. How does she know that? It freaks you out, how you're the unknown lady and so far Haechan and surprisingly Chae know the details of what Jaemin was doing that night. You don't think she knows it's you. "He brought an unknown lady while his daughter was being killed?"
Chae nods her head again. "I saw it with my own two eyes."
"Wait Chae. You're not making sense." You try to piece her words together. "You were home while he was fucking another lady?"
At that, Chae tenses up. Did she just accidently tell you that she was home?
"So that means you knew that Jaemin wasn't the killer. You could've backed him up with your statement." You say being shocked. "Wait, did you just say while his daughter was being killed you saw him fucking another lady? That means it's either you saw the killer and did nothing or..."
"You've got it all wrong Detective." Chae gets off your arms and shakes her head. "I was at Mark's house-"
"No you-"
You hear the apartment door make a beeping sound before he opens up like a chamber door revealing Jaemin. His hair messy and eyes hallow and empty when looking at Chae until his ers move over to you. You're still too stunned at Chae's comment but take in his appearance with flustered cheeks, considering that you both consciously fucked each other raw in the car a while ago.
"Jaemin you're home," You're expecting him to ignore Chae, the way she claimed that he would, but he moves closer to the wall with his hands in his leather pocket looking down at her and talking to her. Your heart filled with guilt again. You slept with a married man again. Even if he's not happy in his relationship, you still feel so bad. Chae seems to really want his attention in her life. Your phone rings and you snap out of your shock.
You get up answering the call seeing it's Taeil's contact. "What?"
"We've got the neighborhood surveillance cameras. I've been trying to get a hold of you-"
"I'm on my way."
You cut the call not wanting to let your thoughts fly by. Just as you're about to go, you spot Jaemin in the kitchen and Chae nervously squeezing her hands standing next to the door. It's either she's hiding something from you, or Jaemin, or she's nervous about something deeper. "Uhm do you have to go? Jaemin....wanted to-"
"Have you eaten Detective?" Jaemin's raspy voice gets your attention to divert back to him- as well as Chae who turns to face him in shock. Jaemin looks up to you when removing his black leather jacket, his tongue flickering down to moist his lips. "I could make you something before you go," If Chae was shocked before, then right now she's trying to maintain her agitation. She looks angry.
"I haven't eaten, but I really have to go," You sympathetically say walking slowly. But instead of walking towards the door where Chae is, you stop within Jaemin's direction. "Thanks for your offer,"
It's not tension that lingers in the air when you both look into each others eyes. The longing need to go, suddenly moved away from your mind as you peer at him. It's silently pleasing to gaze into his eyes and have him attentively minding you, especially when he says. "Can you stay a while?" His voice dangerously low forgetting that Chae is still in the room.
A temptation crawls over you to kiss his lips again, and you know he feels it too when his eyes plead and beg for you the same way he did when he was expressing himself. Your lips open up, but Chae beats you to it bitterly. "What do you mean can she stay? She has to work." The ulterior anger in her voice can be heard. "Right."
That wasn't even a question, it was her basically opening up the door for you to leave. You're not even surprised when she grudgingly holds the door open for you. Taking one last look at Jaemin, you walk out towards the door only for it to be slammed once you're out. She's furious and is gonna take it out on Jaemin.. Perhaps.
Not even a few steps forward- the yelling that you predicted happens. Chae yelling at Jaemin. "Just tell me the fucking truth! You fucked her! It's her right? You fucked her right?; Fucking talk you asshole! She smells like you, even the way she looks at you tells me everything I need to know- that you fucked her! Don't touch me! Don't even- You offered to cook for her? You- you-" Her voice turns into a struggle whimper and angered roar and just like that, you hear such a loud smack which jolts you to jerk on forward and start moving when you hear their house door open. You hide behind a wall hearing the footsteps quicken. It's Chae running down the steps while pulling on her jacket and adjusting her bag.
Unconsciously you find yourself carefully walking back to their apartment -only for you to collide into Jaemin in shock.
He's rubbing his cheek, yet upon seeing you he pulls his hand away slowly and simply smiles. He's tired. His eyes weigh heavily on the eye bags, but you can see he's trying to be brief. First his daughter disappeared while he was sleeping with you and now his wife losing her mind because of you. You're in such a hot seat and guilt and shame, however when you open your lips, it's like not even an ounce of regret passed through you.
"Is it okay, if I can take you up on your offer again?" You briefly smile.
His eyes, although tired, light up and he nods his head. He looks around calmly and opens the door widely for you to enter. "Make yourself comfortable," he says.
"Make myself comfortable?" You smirk and turn to him. "You don't need me to help you in the kitchen,"
"It's okay, I wanna make you something to eat, as well as myself. I'm a good cook." He politely shakes his head smiling at you. His hand nuzzles your cheek and chin- pinching it slightly letting out a little laugh. "Besides, it's been a while since I've eaten too,"
Your eyes widen. "You haven't eaten?" It makes sense why you saw that he also lost some weight. "Even when mourning you need to eat," you tell him softly.
He sharply takes in a breath looking away for a second before resting his hands back in his pocket. "Yeah, that's why I want you to eat with me. Chae's gone out. Uhm. Y..you can stay...if you want..." He rubs the back of his neck.
You smile decently removing your blazer and walking towards the long couch again.
"Uh, I just wanted to go and get the wine in the car. Please don't go, I promise I'll be right back." He mentions warmly and clears his throat before going out.
Smiling at the door even when closed, in your heart you feel content and happy that this is where you're supposed to be. With him. You take in the view of the city again by the large window and smile to yourself.
Why you're smiling and fantasizing about Jaemin- is beyond your control. But you do know that within these few hours of being together elevated you soul.
You just have to be able to prove him innocent before hopefully starting out anything with you.
You stand and look around the house simply waiting for Jaemin and sending a haste text message to Taeil that you'll only be coming in tomorrow. For now, you just want a break. And standing while day dreaming about a man who's not even yours, yet, seems to give you the relaxation you need.
You sigh out when wondering why he's taking so long. You decide to go after him hoping to help him if he needs help. After closing the apartment door and using the lift to go down, you're unaware of Chae using the stairs to go back up to the apartment.
To her surprise instead of seeing Jaemin, she sees your black jacket and pounds every room door open trying to 'catch' you and Jaemin in the act. Meanwhile you find your way through the secret hall pass and finally in the underground/parking hidden office space.
Luckily you find Jaemin.
You smile when entering the office seeing him close the back door holding onto a full bottle of wine. His face is a bit twisted as if in disgust, but smiles when seeing you. "Hey," he says and moves to you with the wine bottle. "Uh, I'm sorry for taking time. There's just a weird smell itching my nose,"
You recall smelling the odd smell before you left and nod your head. "I smelt it too when leaving. Do you often use this car? Do you take it for car washes?" You ask as you move towards the desk with the wine bottle and begin opening it with a twister. Placing the red wine within the two glasses already set.
Jaemin who's already opening up all the doors of the car hums out. "I use to take it for a wash every 3 days, although I haven't been, or rather I don't use this car as much anymore." He mentions looking puzzled and disgusted again.
"It's a sign you should take it for a wash," You smile and drink on the wine. He opens up the boot and you sadly sigh. "I'm sorry that things aren't going your way,"
"It's alright. I've been a bit-"
You pick up his wine glass and navigate yourself to him, whose behind the car. You're confused when he suddenly stops talking and remains frozen with his hands still on the lid of the hood. "What, you found the source?"
You go behind the car but instantly get hit by a wave of a wreaking air. You cough out covering your nose and shaking your head. "Oh my god," You try not to breath through your mouth by the foul sewerage air.
Standing next to him, your face is scrunched up and morphed in similar actions as him. There's a black duffle bag and Jaemin grunts.
"Is that your gym b-"
You freeze for a second when he opens up the black duffle bag seeing a black plastic. Just as much as you're confused, you quickly panic and jump back when Jaemin curses a loud and falls backwards cursing out repeatedly. "Fuck-fuck-fuck-fuck-fuck-fuck-fuck-no-no-no-no-please-no-please-please-please-say it's not real-fuck-no-"
Jaemin erupts hysterically in tears. Your eyes move from his crying botched agonizing face to the duffle bag and plastic wondering what could possibly-
.
No.
Your hand quickly drops the glass as you dash to the boot and rip open the plastic suffocating within the wreaking dead rotting air of his child. "No.." you tremble seeing a bloodied head with patches of wet dark hair sticking against the plastic. Your eyes are brimming tears and you can't even see when Jaemin crawls back and with shaking hands terrifyingly holds onto the head - wailing out in sheer agonizing torture.
Yu're shocked out of your mind when you see the rotting corpse of the little girl. Jaemin begins crying and you stumble back by the stench. Your trembling hands reach for your pocket and you pull out your phone hearing it ring. You can't even hear the caller as you stutter out in distress. "We found the body. We found the body. Please- come quick-" you cry out trembling dropping the phone immediately running to Jaemin when he gets up and ravages the plastic and duffle bag open. He places his head on the bloodied chest trying to hear a heartbeat but you scamper him away. Trying to compose yourself at the gruesome sight of the both of you covered in blood- the blood of Jaemin's daughter.
"Jaemin don't touch the body, Jaemin don't-"
Jaemin can't even hear you as he drops to the ground screeching out in weasels of trauma pain. He attempts to lunge at the body again claiming that she could be alive- but already the sight and clear evidence of her dead body shakes you up. You end up handcuffing Jaemin with your safety cuffs telling him not to move.
In a blur you maintain your balance or you try to maintain your balance as you rush out the door and run out the office to the outside. Not only are the people stunned and avoiding your bloody and tear stained state but they rush on and begin dialing for any sort of help when you call out for help.
A few minutes seem to pass with sirens trailing and tailing on each other. Jaehyun and the rest of the detective forces are on full command and control when bashing in and following you as you lead them to the scene. Jaemin's wails can be heard - when entering the office you're shocked again in pain when you see Jaemin's body on the floor cradling the dead body which is still half in the duffle bag, but instead of it being in the car it's now on the floor within the gap of Jaemin's cuffed hands.
Soon enough the hotel, parking lot and secret office is flooded with police and an ambulance and the whole crew.
In your weary and distorted state you see Jaemin being taken away from the body and is brought to his feet- and for some reason, while in holding, his wife, Chae in tears is outraged and slaps him.
"I didn't do it-" you can hear Jaemin say before he's dragged away by the officers.
•
It's an ongoing nightmare in your head. From the terrible scene to the muffled voices of anger, to Jaemin's face and his eyes starring at you pleading telling you that he didn't do it.
A week has passed. Thankfully you were frantically frantic as before. But you sit idle in your seat with your whole trembling body wondering what to do.
The security footage of the neighborhood indeed reveals a black vehicle pulling up- but instead of the front yard, the car is on another street behind the house. It's impressive how the footage was taken, as it clearly shows someone carrying that big duffle bag across a street and a car suddenly appearing and both the person and the duffle bag disappear in the car as it speeds away. What's more crazy, is that the same footage also captured another car pulling up but instead at the front yard at the same time. However only one person leaves.
You know for certain, that one person leaving is you. As you called on an Uber late at night after you refused to stay with Jaemin. Later on, by foot- a person is seen treading slowly to the house. The person identified as Chae.
With all that information and footage, you'd think the detectives would try to rationalize everything.
No.
They put Jaemin behind bars, saying he orchestrated the whole thing and what's worse is that he had hitmans who helped him. It sat well with everybody except you.
You spoke to Jaehyun repeatedly trying to tell him that they've got it all wrong. You could tell he was irritated by you, but you also could tell that he felt something wasn't right. You pressed on the matter even going as far as claiming yet again that Chae mentioned he was in the house with a hooker. Excluding that you were the hooker.
To no avail, it's been 9 full days that Jaemin was locked up and awaiting his trial which would be in a months time after the detectives, DA and court settled down and placed all the information together.
Another reason you sit idle on your work chair trembling, is because you took the dash bored memory card from Jaemin's car without permission from the investigation team and have been hiding it. Reason being, because yet again as you're caught in the camera making love with Jaemin, if reversed and rewinded back a couple of weeks it shows the culprits of the little girl's killer... You still don't know what happened, but you have proof that Jaemin is innocent. Which is why as you walk to Jaehyun's office with both USB and memory stick of the club footage as well as the car dash memory card, you know that justice will be served for Jaemin's innocence.
"Intern. You're getting on my last nerve." Jaehyun grumbles out. He gets back to typing ignoring you. You don't mind him as you set both the stick and memory card on top of his table with a written report of the whole case. "What's this?" He looks at the report file reading the title page with a confused look. He groans and leans back on his seat. "We've already closed the case and sent it off to the DA. You've been positioned as an official member and Detective Writer of our police force. Why is it that you can't let this case fucking go?" He complains but you cut him off.
"Because I was involved sir." You blink your eyes, breathing out and maintaining an emotionless face. Your try to stay still hoping your tears won't fall by your selfless act. You train your eyes on the clock instead of his heavy eyes. "An innocent man is in jail. And even though it'll cost me my job and dignity, I'm prepared to risk it all. In the account and accord that he's innocent and set free." You gulp when removing your new shiny official badge and placing it on the table next to the evidences. "The proof is all there."
You bow your head and walk out his office. Instead of going back to your desk you find yourself going to the department canteen. You wanted to go to the police station to see him...to see Jaemin. But the guilt of letting him rot inside especially since you knew that he was innocent was killing you.
So as you idle sit on one of the lounge chairs staring into the abyss of your mind, your thoughts begin to wonder.
You're seated for what seems to be like the whole day with the sun setting and you having not moved from your position. You're broken out of your trance when your phone rings. As usual it's Haechan. Your moral support in letting you know that you shouldn't be pining on yourself. This time, you ignore his call and sigh out heading back to the office.
You're met by Taeil who stops you with a disappointed look as well as paper. "Just to let you know what it's about, you're suspended. Jaehyun's waiting for you in his office."
You don't know what Taeil thinks of you or what he knows. You don't even care what he thinks of you.
You've been an intern detective writer for more over 9 months now, but now you're an official Detective Writer....or rather you were. You were extremely prideful in the work you do. Being able to 'have eyes at the back of your head' or being known as 'sharp’ is an esteemed word and/or phrase that your higher executives prefer to use when they were describing you. Maybe you're selfish and tend to be heavily guarded, and perhaps even self centered, however- as you've been on this case, your moral values and center core routes have returned. Even though, you're not so sure what your hidden and secrecy actions will let your executives and higher-ups call you, but one thing you do know is that you've earned an honesty medal. As you see everything and nothing gets past you, you're surprised how you let a man slip right through your rib cage and straight into your soul.
The first thing you hear when entering Jaehyun's office is your high erratic moan. You feel embarrassed and you shrink back in embarrassment. When Jaehyun pauses the video and glares at you, you know you're done for.
In your head you're hoping for the story to end. That Jaemin is released. His wife is cuffed and the truth is all out. But it's not that easy.
Jaehyun pauses the video and looks up to you. "You were among the top 10 interns to have found favour in the executives eyes. By default, I assumed you slept with him, as you're the only female intern. I was proven wrong when seeing your work ethic and drive. All the values and morals that we as detectives have, you embodied them. Working with you, I was astound as well as amazed by your surging drive to prove us all wrong. Now I'm not quite sure whether your drive to work was for the right reasons. I'm honestly disappointed in you." Jaehyun mentions and you don't know why, but your pride sinks. Thinking back to how you started this case with conviction that truly you were going to get into his good book. But now you've disappointed him. *I've heard so many good critics about you. And working with you, my judgement based off of you was wrong, you are not only a hard worker but you pay close attention to detail. Which brings me to this evidence. Taking this new evidence to the directors and DA will tarnish your reputation, ruin your resume and deem you untrustworthy, it'll evict you from working in any other force team again. However, not taking it, allows for the man behind bars to be sentenced for a crime he didn't commit. I'm conflicted in between two options. The first, suspending you and closing off this case myself with the right person behind bars, and the second, allowing you to redeem yourself and prove yourself to me again by getting another form of evidence, a verbal confession preferably from Mrs Na herself."
Hearing his words and hearing that perhaps you have a chance you're baffled by his generosity. Leaning into faith and his words you stand slightly straight. "How would I get a verbal confession?"
He turns to his compute screen and types some things on his keyboard before turning the screen to me, while pressing play on a layer footage. It's the car footage.
Your eyes widen when you see Mark's face in the dark. He waits alone and a second later theirs a knock on the door. Mark rolls down the window and you can hear a brief: "Can you open the boot?"
Mark is quick in pressing a button. He turns his head back before smiling as the door opens and someone gets in the car. Removing the black hood over the head- your eyes widen when seeing Chae.
She looks nervous and is evidently shaking while gasping and trying to catch her breath. "Mark please drive."
"But Jaemin-"
"Drive!"
"Yeah sure," he looks uncertain and puzzled. He turns his head around facing the road before starting the car and driving. "You okay Chae?"
Chae is shaking and holding tightly onto the black jersey she's wearing nodding her head. "Yes I'm fine. You're going back to the office right?"
"Uh," Mark looks ahead for a second. "Yes. Jaemin sent me a text to pick him up from home-"
"I have his phone. It was me. He's occupied right now." Her lips tremble. "Mark I did something terrible." She breaks into sudden tears and cries out. "Mark-"
Mark looking panicked he pulls over the car and attends to Chae hugging her. "Hey," he softly calls patting her head. "It's going to be okay,"
"Mark, it's not," She trembles and continues crying. "I didn't mean to do it. She wanted her dad and started crying and he suddenly came home and- and just came in and she- she wanted to see him- Mark I hit her- I didn't mean to- to- he came home with another woman and - and- she started crying and I hit her- Mark- Mark-"
"Don't worry Chae. Chae calm down, please calm down. Crying and stressing isn't good for the baby," Mark informs and tenderly wipes on her tears looking into her eyes. His hands move in her hair and he brings her close placing a kiss on her forehead. Before looking at her. "Let's first get this car back in the office and then we can talk,"
"Okay," Chae still has worry in her eyes but complies with Mark.
He returns to driving the car with one hand and assume the other hand is one her hand or thigh. They eventually go along in silence. Jaehyun stops the video. "From here on, they're quiet. I assume they spoke outside of the car. I don't know what she told Mark, and I don't know what Mark knows. In the car, she was a bit tongue tied and a mess, so her words aren't clear enough for them to be pinned. All I know is that she said she hit her and that he, being Jaemin, brought in another woman, that being you. With that said, she never enters in the car again. The next encounter in the car, is of you and him. From the likeness of your conversation Chae's baby is still born, her and Jaemin have been rocky, she didn't have a good connection with the little girl, and most importantly she wasn't at the hospital the whole day. If you're willing, I want you to get a confession out of her. I'm sure it won't be easy, but it's all I have as an idea. It's either that or your pride. I'm willing to let this slide off because it looks like an honest mistake. You sleeping with him was probably meant to be a one night stand. Considering you slept with him again, knowing what you know is beyond me, however that's not my business nor does it involve me. I didn't appreciate your dishonesty or hiding the bar footage, but I appreciate your courage in speaking up, even if it's at the very end." He stands up with a file in hand. "I'm sure riling her up about her cheating husband will egg her into cracking and confessing. And upon watching the car footage, his wife and Mark seemed to have a really strong bond. He seemed the least suspicious. But if he could hide and cover up for Chae, how much more is he hiding. Would you be up for it?"
You don't think Jaehyun has any other alternative motives other then wanting to get Chae to confess. You don't think it's because he wants to help you. "Yes." As long as you were keeping your job and he was allowing you to continue the case, you didn't care.
Right when he lets you leave his office, you go to your contacts book and find yourself dialing up Mark as well as Chae opting for them to come in to give their last closing statements. You prepare yourself by thinking of what questions to ask, you think deeply of triggering questions for both Mark and Chae.
Considering that Mark doesn't know that he was the one who impregnated Chae you think of how to bring it into the equation.
°
Mark is seated in the interrogation room seemingly calmly. You doubt he knows what Chae has done, but based off what Jaehyun said about him being close with Chae, you still have to make sure. Besides, if he knew that Chae was the killer (assuming she's the killer), why would he go on to helping the investigation.
Jaehyun looks through the one way glass mirror watching Mark, he sits down and hits the recording recorder tape. He nods in your direction and you walk in.
"Hi," You smile, causing him to look up and sitting up in his seat looking welcoming with his big eager eyes.
"Hey,"
"Thank you for coming in on such short notice. Uh, I'm not gonna take up much of your time, I just need one last sentence from you."
"No problem," He nods his head before clearing his throat and leans in. "I actually wanted to come to the station myself,"
"Really?" You question tilting your head a little. "What for?"
He shakes his head leaning back on his seat folding his arms. "It doesn't add up or make any sense that Jaemin murdered Daejun. He loved her with all his heart more than anything else in this world. I'm finding it really hard to believe that he would do that. Look, I may have lied in the beginning of the case,"
You nod your head allowing yourself to look open, making it calming for him to speak. He removes the beanie on his head, and presses his hands together cracking his knuckles. "If it's possible, I would really need you to be honest."
"Yeah, yeah." He nods his head. "Uhm, first of. I'm the one who dropped Daejun home from school that day..." He sighs out. "I really didn't do anything to her. According to the school she was feeling sick and Jaemin sent me a text to get her. I did as told and stayed with her, making sure she ate and was warm. I covered her and wrapped her in a blanket. In the report, I said, I waited till Jaemin came home but I lied. I waited till Chae came home. She came back from the doctors office. That's what I wanted to be honest about, and also.... This was late at night, but I picked up Chae from her house. Please don't think it's her or me, or even Jaemin." He sighs and scratches his head. "I really wish I knew who did it."
"You said you picked up Chae late at night,"
"Yeah," Mark briefly nods his head. "Uhm, she was crying a lot. Uhm." He sighs. "Look man, it's not my place but apparently he was home with another woman. That's why I'm certain that....okay, I don't know but he was with another woman and Chae wanted to go anywhere but home."
You nod your head, feeling thrilled that the words are rolling out his mouth. "You picked her up with what?" You open up your file pulling out a print out. "When looking at the neighborhood footage, we were unable to capture who brought Chae home because their were trucks and trucks of movers. A new person was entering the neighborhood so lots of people where moving in and out and the trucks blocked the view of the house. So I want to ask, what car you drove?"
"I remember that, uh. Picking up Daejun from school, I walked with her until home. And picking up Chae at night, I drove with Jaemin's company car. Uhm, if it helps, I don't think Jaemin had his phone with him. Chae had it, seems like he forgot it since morning. So accordingly she's the one who sent messages, using his phone."
Your heart elevates in joy by Mark freely confessing. He's words edge you on and are back up for the case. "Thank you Mark for your honesty. We'll keep this in the record. Uhm, you said you drove with Jaemin's company car. How did you have possession to it?"
"I drive Jaemin around sometimes. So I've got a spare key."
"On what occasions do you drive him around?"
"Business meetings or say maybe he wants to go to the club, or he's tired. It's a job but I don't mind helping out, it's the least I can do,"
"Hm, interesting." It's not an opening, but you slide in your question. "Why do you do it? Out of gratitude or because you're guilty of something?"
He visibly looks stunned. "What?" He mumbles.
"I'm not implying anything bad, I'm just asking. You're helping out him, Chae and even Daejun as a friend or..."
He blinks his eyes and shifts in his seat. "As a friend of course,"
"As a friend?" You question while nodding your head. "It's just you said that it the least you could do. And I'm wondering, why you said that. Is their something you did that you feel guilty of- I'm not including Daejun here but, maybe your wronged Jaemin and want to make up for it...or you possibly had a misunderstanding with Chae or-" he looks uncomfortable when you mention Chae and he looks down squeezing his hands together.
"As a friend." He states out.
"Why did you pick up Chae late at night?"
He scratches his head. "Uhm. Like I said, she messaged me using Jaemin's phone. And she saw Jaemin with another woman-"
"No, no, I get the part. But why call you with Jaemin's phone. At first, we were suspicious of you because of his call records but we dropped you when Chae came to your defense. So I'm wondering, why did Chae defend you...why she holds you in high regards, especially since you're more of Jaemin's friend then her. I'm not implying anything malicious. But, I had a chat with her....about her baby. Unfortunately, the baby is stillborn." You gulp sadly when Mark halts and looks up quickly with big eyes. "She's known for months now, but she's been finding it hard to open up. I'm not sure if she's planning to give birth to it being still or not, but I'm worried that she might not get the chance to speak to you."
"T...to me?" Mark's lip trembles and he closes his eyes looking saddened. His hands run down his hair and he sniffs. "It's mine...right?" He whispers. "My baby,"
You stay quiet, feeling sad. You empathize with him in the sense of him being a middle man. "Mark..."
He sniffs again, slowly picking up his head and wiping his eyes. "So is that what you wanted a statement for? What do you wanna know? That I slept with my best friend's wife and knocked he up? Or that I took her to my place to forget about him while he fucked some other woman?" He heavily pants out, seemingly struggling to hold in his emotions. "Fuck. Are you sure it's mine? That I....I'm responsible?"
"That's something Chae can answer." You say quietly surprised that he took her to his place. You're even surprised that he admits to sleeping with her. "As for what I want to know, I want to know your relationship with her?" You say out in a soft tone, hoping to not evoke anger.
But he's not angry. He's disheartened and looks broken. "It was a mistake okay. She... I... Look," he sits forward. "I slept with her once. We both agreed to never talking about it again. By that time, things with her and Jaemin were getting rough. I don't now what was going on, but I didn't like seeing he upset. So I just started helping out. Or rather, trying to get Jaemin and her to avoid each other. She was pregnant and I didn't want her to stress. I didn't even know...that it was mine. I just wanted her to be...." He looks down and sighs out rubbing his face.
You feel bad for Mark, so getting the information you needed, plus the additional information he let out, you thank him. Jaehyun calmly leads him to the canteen telling him to drink and eat something or even rest a bit. You follow behind Jaehyun waiting to hear his verdict.
Before you can head on back Jaehyun sees Chae entering the canteen. "Wait, there's Chae," he points out. "Come."
"Mrs Na." Jaehyun starts and goes on to shaking her hand. She has a soft smile before her eyes see you.
"Hi Chae," You nervously greet, seeing her smile disappear.
"Hi." She stiffly smiles. "I got your message. What statement did you want to get from me?"
"Uh, if you could just follow us to the interrogation office-"
"I wanted to buy some milk before we can start." She cuts off. You look to Jaehyun and he nods his head.
"Oh, ohkay." Judging from her tone, you're reminded of when she yelled and slapped Jaemin for wanting you to stay. She's probably onto you. You step back yet jump a little when you bump into someone. Mark. He holds onto Chae's arm and looks in between his eyes.
"Mr Lee, I think it's best you to rest up for now." Jaehyun speaks up yet backs down when seeing the strong eyes Mark has towards Chae. On instinct, he gets out his phone setting the voice record on.
"Mark?" Chae's tone softens. "What are you doing here?"
Mark turns to you and looks back to Chae. "Can I please talk to her for a minute?"
"Of course yeah," You nod your head, but Jaehyun nudges you shoulder. You don't know why, but looking down at your watch and thinking of whether Mark wants to let her know what he told you so that she can perhaps lie to you- is what goes on in your mind and it's what you think Jaehyun stopped you for. You can't let them talk. "But can it be after? I won't take up her ti-"
Mark doesn't even wait for you to finish before turning back to Chae and speaking up. "Was it mine?"
Your eyes enlarge not only by him talking over and ignoring you, but by his question. Chae's equally stunned and confused. "Yours?"
"The baby." Mark starts looking down at her bloated stomach. "Was it mine?"
"Was?" She questions, her chest rising and falling. "What do you mean was?" Her eyes watering. "I don't know what you're talking about-"
"Chae tell me right now. Tell me the truth. Is this the reason why Jaemin's been upset with you?" He lets go of her while stepping back, but she quickly holds onto both his arms.
"Mark no-"
"Chae," his eyes water a little yet hers are pouring already. "I told you to leave him. I told you that you shouldn't stress yourself. I said come with me- Chae I care for you more than he does! Chae why did you stay with him- now look what you've done!" Mark bursts out, the tears running down his eyes. "My baby....our baby....our baby's dead-"
"Mark please don't stay that! He's still alive! He's still alive! He's not dead!" Chae frantically pulls on his clothes crying out. "Please-" she cries. "I'm sorry-"
"Chae why did you stay with him? I told you I could look after you, Chae..." He whispers and wipes his eyes moving back and away from Chae's hands that try to reach to him. "What did you do that night?" Mark ends up asking. "While he was fucking that woman, what did you do?"
Chae's trembling and hiccuping still crying. "I didn't do- I called you Mark- please Mark, please help me- it was an accident- I swear I didn't mean it-"
Mark steps back running his hands through his hair. His jaw clinches as the tears fall out. "You left my place to go back home- so you had nothing to do with Daejun's disappearance right?"
"Mark-" She chokes out. "Please don't do this-"
"Chae-" his voice trembles. "I told you leave him. I begged you to leave him- but you... You didn't touch Daejun right?"
Chae's hyperventilating at this point, the tears falling onto her clothes. Sh clutches her stomach and shakes her head. "She was hitting me-" She whispers. "She was hitting my baby-" She struggles to breathe but continues. "Mark I didn't mean to- Jaemin came in with that lady and Daejun was-" she stops herself and cries on. "Daejun was screaming- Mark please-"
"Fucking tell me the truth Chae!" Mark shakes his head and pants out. "Jaemin was preoccupied with the woman to notice you- what did you do? While he fucked that woman on your couch- Goddamn Chae don't tell me you laid your hands on Daejun- don't tell me you took out your frustration on-"
"I hit her okay!" Chae bursts out and shakes her head taking two heated steps forward grabbing Mark's shirt. "It was his fault! He made me do it! Mark that bitch was moaning out my husband's name! So I hit his precious daughter!"
She pushes Mark back with full furry and rage. You try to intervene but Jaehyun holds you back.
"And then she started crying and I threw her on the bed telling her to shut up- but she fucking wouldn't shut up! He was going to leave me! He was going to leave me if he saw that I hit her, so I covered her face with a pillow." Chae gasps out and moves back looking down at her hands. "But that stupid brat, hit me. She punched my stomach and I.....I didn't mean to hurt her, but I took her clock and hit her with it through the pillow. But she kept trying to escape and she kept hitting me and my baby- Mark-"
Chae bends down holding her stomach.
"Mark she was the one who killed my baby and tried to make a run for it- I couldn't let her tell on me and I couldn't let her get away with killing my baby- and then I saw the blood- I don't know if it was from me...my baby... I snapped. I threw the clock at the back of her head and she fell. She was about to scream again but I covered her mouth and took her back to the room. Mark- I.... I didn't mean it ...and there was a stupid bitch moaning out my husband's name. He didn't even care- he fucked that lady and I got so angry. I don't know what came over me when I grabbed the clock and kept hitting D-D-Daejun over the head.. I just wanted her to be quiet,"
Jaehyun stops the recording by the end of Chae's frantic crying. Mark draws closer to her on the floor and he gently wraps his arms around her, as she bursts out crying while holding onto him tightly.. Your heart aches for Daejun... the little girl who was caught up in the whole mess and drama.
"Mrs Na Chae," Jaehyun gets out his handcuffs, not even minding the couple that's securely holding onto each other. "You are arrested for the murder and missing case of the persons of Na Daejun. Anything you say this point on will be used against you. You have no right to a lawyer, and you are to remain silent within the next hour."
.
7 months later..
The days following after Chae's arrest were frightening. You had never seen a court case as such. Aside from the palpable tension between Jaemin, Chae and Mark, you found yourself in a sticky situation when Jaemin had to come clean and admit to what he did in the house that night. He briefly laced out that he was in an unfaithful entanglement with another woman- and while he said that, at some point in the court room Chae screeched in anger pointing at you with pure hatred blaming you for pushing her to the limit.
You don't really know if Chae knows you to be the woman Jaemin slept with, all you know is that she suspects you a lot for having an affair with her husband.
Speaking of husband, as soon as the court case was settled and Chae was sentenced on the account of first degree murder 8 to 10 years- Jaemin decided to put quits to their relationship with a divorce following.
You haven't known Jaemin for long, but within the weeks of the trial, you hardly saw him with an expression on his face. He was extemly quiet with this repeated gloomy face stuck on loop. Not only was it heart breaking seeing him that way, but you couldn't help it when comforting him. All you did was give him a comforting hug.
A hug which you thought would rekindle your 'love' to him again. But instead you got a little head nod after you asked if he was okay, and that was it.
You never saw Na Jaemin again.
His business suffered collateral damages. His public image of the perfect man was ruined because of the cheating scandal as well as false publicity of him bribing the judges to get away with killing his own daughter.
According to reports, even though he had lost quite a number of ratings (due to the events of the past), he continued to run his business for some months before shutting it down altogether because of the lingering discomfort he had in running a business after knowing that a child, his child, had died and was prematurely buried in his own hotel. After closing down his hotel and removing his license, you honestly thought he would find his way to you...
Foolish.
You have no words to describe the whole incident, but when Jaemin paid you no mind after the court case, you felt incredibly stupid for falling in love with him.
You could only say it is what is is. While you humbly thrived and diligently worked in your new role and position, you constantly got reminded of Jaemin whenever you'd go to the club with your colleagues, or when you'd sit in Haechan's passenger seat being reminded of your hot steamy make out with Jaemin in his car, or even the simplicity of looking at kids with their fathers. You wanted a relationship with Jaemin.
You wanted him, needed him, so desperately that you stopped going clubbing and got yourself a rebound in Haechan. You thought you could forget Jaemin, if you kissed, touched, fucked somebody else. Unfortunately, you were engraved with into Jaemin so much that nothing and nobody else came close or even compared to him.
Nothing compares to the way he made you feel by your touch deprived self. You'd secretly touch yourself behind Haechan's back at the thought of Jaemin and his skilled tongue eating you out, you'd moan out whenever Haechan kissed you because in your head you only thought of Jaemin. You only saw Jaemin. A soft hand touch, an unexpected hug, warm handshakes where you could feel Haechan's entire hand in yours, the texture of his skin- everything Haechan did, you only allowed your mind to see Jaemin in everything.
You wondered how your life would be with Jaemin. Unfortunately, your Na Jaemin was Lee Donghyuck.
That's why you're not too sure if you're imagining things.
You're out with Haechan on your monthly date night at a beach side restaurant sitting outside facing each other... and you see him.
You feel like you're losing your mind.
Haechan sits across from you talking about logistics or something along those lines, looking at passionate as ever that he doesn't even mind if you pay attention or not.
You really don't know if you're going crazy or not..or if you're imagining it.
But there's a man, in a black long sleeved shirt, with jet black styled hair, sitting all alone looking lavish and mysterious, drinking what looks like red wine...with his gaze on you from time to time.
The eye gaze where you feel as though the nerves in your face that go down your spine and chest are attracted toward his gaze. He's sitting two meters away from you, yet there's such a strong hold he has on you, that your legs cross over each other to slightly squeeze your needy core. The intimacy of... Eye contact. Smirks across a crowded room. Raised eyebrows. Knowing glances. Witty banter.
You gulp and try to focus on Haechan and his deviating topic but your mind wanders onto how you cannot kiss him but you really wish you could.
"Are you listening?" Haechan snaps you out of your dazed eyes and you hum nodding your head. From the corner of your eyes, you see Jaemin smirk.
For some reason, you can already tell that tonight you won't be leaving this restaurant with Lee Donghyuck as Na Jaemin, but that you will leave the restaurant with Na Jaemin being in between your legs. With the way he's looking at you, and the way your needy eyes plead with him, there's no way this won't be another 'secret' locked up in a room.
As you're about to leave, you tell Haechan that you'll meet him by the car.
You pay the finest attention to smallest details when you're touch deprived; such as someone's shoulder brushing against yours, someone starring at you too long or even your own hand brushing against your clit at night when you're by yourself. That's why walking towards Jaemin table, you know what you want and this time you're going to do it the right way.
You just hope this time that there's no dead body around.
-
I think the word count was 29k something.. lol...if you made it all the way to the end, thank you so much for reading. it took months writing this and i enjoyed every bit of it- which is why I'm even happier that you've finished everything- thank you for taking your time to give this a shot and reading it <3
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✧・゚: *✧・゚:* *:・゚✧*:・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚:* *:・゚✧*:・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚:* *:・゚
texting your boyfriend! jeno
an insight to a relationship with jeno!
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