#zhong chenle romance | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

garutime · 1 month ago

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Idol! Zhong Chenle x Idol! Fem reader

Aclarations: A stage name for the female character "Hiro" will be used at one point.

Sipnosis: Through a simple interaction, they ended up in a Deep Fake porn video

Warning +18!: Mention of pornographic sites, mention of Deep Fake (Porn video site where they use the face of famous people to put in already existing sexual videos), video without consent, everything is based on a video, nicknames (Slut, whore, useless, bitch, desperate), reader called Chenle "dog", medium humiliation, medium denigration, blows (Pussy, ass), anal and vaginal penetration, cum inside, mention of squirt, unprotected sex, F oral, rough treatment, rough, dom Chenle

Words: 3.1k

Note: I'm using google translator so all the blame on him

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Life as an idol is difficult, perhaps too tiring to the point that made her question why she chose that path; She liked to sing, not so much to dance, she could have chosen another job that involved singing without being on stage daily, it had been a long week in Korea, between the shows and about two awards they managed to bring the hard devastated week to an end.

She was not going to take into account that instead of sleeping, she spent her time on her cell phone and did not sleep at all, that is why the week seemed so long to her, she needed some time to enjoy. She had finally arrived home and did not do much, she put food in her pets' bowl and went upstairs to go to bed, even though her body weighed from tiredness she lay on her side and grabbed her cell phone to be able to scroll on Twitter, after having uploaded some stories to Instagram and thanked for the award but now, it was her time to rest.

Her Twitter was based on fights; She was quite entertained by how people fought on a social network and from his private account it was easy to see everything, from how his own fandom fought with others to the silly fights of who was better; They were funny to read one day when he was tired so he scrolled through the social network reading until he found a tweet that caught his attention.

"Zhong Chenle of Nct Dream and Hiro of Push have interaction"

Below that little informative text from a fan account there was a video of the two of them a few days ago at the awards ceremony, just as they were walking they had collided and when they looked at each other, they bowed to apologize, their hands raised in a greeting from a distance and then each went their own way, she didn't think it was strange or see romance in it but it seemed like the fans were going crazy, commenting about how they made a cute couple, that they confirm, my parents and many other things that she didn't understand and didn't want to understand.

It was mere curiosity when she saw the "#Hiche" in that post, assuming it was the ship between the two of them and that she ignored how badly their names were put together to just click, opening herself to the sick mind of the fans seeing edits, some that seemed real and others that did seem fake, it was obviously all too fake since the most she had of Chenle was his cell phone number and they didn't even talk, she couldn't open her mouth in surprise with each thing she saw until she searched too much, going too far down to a particular tweet that made her frown.

"Nct Dream's Chenle fucking Push's Hiro, Deep Fake"

Below that tweet there was a link to the site's official website, she knew that Deep Fake was a pornographic site where you found a lot of sexual or racy videos where the person's face was changed to that of a famous person, the idea of her being there made her cheeks burn with shame, mainly because there would be a lot of people who wanted to see her that way and who had the time to do something as depraved as that, she felt a small knot in her stomach as she settled face down on her bed, her legs moving anxiously at the new information.

She knew she wouldn't lose anything by clicking on the link so she entered the video, it was all fake and even on the page itself they warned her, the cover of the video was the interaction between them, that moment where they were looking at each other and moving their hands which made her frown, she had expected something more as a cover; A teaser of the video but nothing, which made his finger shake as he clicked on the video, starting a video of just 3 minutes.

— Shit... — She mumbled under my breath as soon as the video started, my eyes opening wide as I clearly saw his face there.

She thought it would look faker but in the video, there she was lying on the bed with her legs open, the girl's physique was almost identical to hers and her face was perfectly placed on that of the girl, the man's hands ran over her thighs while he looked at her soaked panties until the man left a kiss on her knee, showing himself as Chenle and yes, the image and situation seemed real while everything was happening which made her eyes open and stay quiet, she was too focused.

The man's hands kneaded the soft thighs while he kept his gaze fixed on the girl on the bed as if they were intimate, as if it were a romantic moment but it all ended when Chenle open-palmed the girl's poor pussy that made her moan and throw her head back while her hips rose at the blow that wasn't even direct because her panties were in the middle of the game.

— You're embarrassing — The man's voice was identical to Chenle's, generated by AI surely while speaking in Chinese which made it more exciting.

The palm fell back on the girl's pussy making her moan as her legs opened even more, three of the man's fingers began to give soft but beautiful blows against the girl's clitoris, giving stronger and softer blows against the sensitive bud making the girl under him writhe in search of more contact, in search of more than those little blows that made every fiber of her body tremble.

— You're being desperate, you look like a whore — Chenle's tone came out strong, almost as if he were scolding her but the underlying nuance of provocation was undeniable.

— Chenle... — The girl moaned lowly as she shifted in bed, seeking more contact from the man who seemed to refuse to give it to her.

— Are you going to beg now? Weren't you taught to have dignity? — He asked amused as his hands moved up to knead her thighs, his fingers digging into the soft flesh and his nails marking the skin.

Her face turned bright red when he mentioned that but she continued acting the same, like a whore just like Zhong said and he seemed to enjoy every moment of it.

— Take off those panties — He ordered and the girl quickly moved, pulling off her panties and giving them to the man.

Zhong grabbed them, instantly feeling how wet they were from his constant groping and under the woman's attentive gaze, he licked her panties, his long tongue giving them a lick so he could taste his woman's sweet taste that made him hum happily.

— You're lucky I like you — He said as he threw the panties somewhere in the room.

He didn't wait for her response or some pitiful moan as he decided to bury three of his fingers in her wet heat, he made a mocking movement when his three fingers sank so easily into that tight pussy, it was surprising how he had her dripping for him but even so, he began to give hard blows inside her vaginal cavity, his fingers entered with force only to come out and penetrate her even harder which made her almost scream in pleasure.

— Ah~!, Chenle... — She moaned in that pitiful way that he liked so much, he liked the sight of her pouty lips, silently asking him to destroy her.

And he was a weak man, weak enough to obey her silence and just deepen his thrusts with his fingers, making it easier and easier to handle the situation due to the constant fluids that wet his fingers like waterfalls but he didn't look upset, in fact, he enjoyed it as his fingers separated inside her, in a scissor shape that made her moans louder. He bent down between her legs, enough to start licking her clit like a hungry dog, he wasn't even thinking about breathing as he licked and sucked, his fingers going in and out with a need for her to cum, in him, in his mouth, on his cock.

— You're a fucking dog — The girl commented or rather critical according to Chenle who didn't like the comment.

He was the one in charge there and said nasty things to her so being compared to a dog (even though he was acting like one), made all movement stop as he pulled away from that cute pussy and pulled his fingers out, only to give her a loud smack that echoed after her moan as she writhed at the lack of pleasure.

— Hold on bitch — He ordered as he leaned down to catch her kisses in a needy kiss.

There was a scene change, the kiss scene changed to Chenle on top of Hiro, the girl's legs awkwardly on the sides of Zhong's hips while he was between her legs, their hips colliding over and over as he fucked her like a dog in heat, just like she had said. Her moans were the ones that were heard the most as her pussy was basically being destroyed, the thick and long cock buried perfectly in her pussy, hitting her walls only to pull out and hit her again with a new intensity that left her breathless to give way to a moan, her lips in a constant pout that she knew her man liked.

— Wasn't I being a fucking dog Hiro? Look at you, you're like a bitch in heat letting your man fuck you — He said mockingly, his blows didn't stop, they only increased as he let her feel it.

Chenle didn't hold her hips or legs, letting her body rise and fall like the doll she was, his hands were simply resting on her knees, not grabbing her or using her to be able to fuck her better, a place to rest his hands while his hips did all the work, each stroke was different, he never had a rhythm, never at the same time or the same intensity but always with the same desire.

— Chenle... — She moaned as she foolishly grabbed the bed rail to try and hold on.

— What? Are you going to cum already? We've not even been at it for ten minutes — He moaned through a particularly strong thrust.

Even with his complaints, knowing that she was about to cum motivated him, making him grab her hips now making her feel all of herself, his thrusts deeper while this time, he focused on hitting that sweet spot over and over again making it simply impossible for the girl beneath him to handle him, he could feel her walls tightening around him and he could only let out low moans, he didn't want to give her the satisfaction of believing that he was doing his job right.

— Chenle! — It was glorious to hear her name in the middle of her orgasm, she knew how much that turned him on.

He pulled out of her, wanting to see the show her pussy would give him as he watched her hips move in search of more, her pussy releasing a good stream from her hole that made him smile, he expected more but the simple act of making her squirt for him, of giving her a squirt was enough for him.

— You even squirted?... Shit, how long has it been since you've been fucked? — Chenle mocked but the mere sight of having made that pussy squirt made his still hardened cock get even harder.

He didn't care that she was still recovering from her orgasm, he simply got back between her legs, seeing how he was going to accommodate her now until he lifted her legs to the point that her knees were level with her head, her body stretched out and also crushed by the bigger Zhong who placed his hands on the bottom of her knees, leaving her legs motionless and pathetic for his use.

— Chenle... A lot — She moaned weakly, as if she wanted to hide how much of a slut she was.

— Come on, don't be a child; Milk me with that pussy — Chenle ordered, rolling his eyes at the complaints of his woman beneath him.

She didn't hesitate to enter again, which made him let out a low moan as he penetrated her hard and fast, stretching her body to its limits as he sought his release, his cock was throbbing but he just didn't want to release his load in that used pussy; she understood, not many wanted to use that used pussy, neither did he.

— Your face distracts me from my orgasm — He said as he grabbed her shirt, a short shirt that fit perfectly over those tits but finally, he lifted it up to her head, causing her entire face to be covered by the shirt and he could only see that little body.

His slut's moans grew louder as he fucked her, it seemed like he treated her worse; He liked it even more for what followed, watching those tits jump happily with each thrust which made him gasp, it was a good view that simply made him release all his semen inside that little pussy, he buried himself deep wanting her to take every drop of his semen like the good slut she was.

There was another change of scene, now there was no longer the view of the bed, but the view of a piece of furniture and a wall where Chenle was leaning, his penis proudly raised while being serviced by the slut who spread her legs wide so that the camera could capture her pussy full of his semen, her tongue passed all over his phallus while she looked into his eyes with that almost puppy look she always had.

— Ah, you know how to do that well, don't you? — He asked rhetorically while patting her head — How many have you sucked to be able to suck like that, right, slut?

That comment seemed to excite her because she replaced her tongue all over her mouth, putting Chenle's phallus in her mouth to move her head back and forth which made him moan, this time he couldn't hold back his moans as he moaned freely, enjoying the good work she could give but he got tired quickly, he always got tired of any attention given to him for a long time.

— Get up Hiro, with your back to me — He ordered and in a few seconds he already had the girl turning her back.

He took the time to travel the curves of her back, her waist and her plump butt that was his target, so without hesitating about his strength or her weight, he grabbed the girl by the legs and lifted her, earning a small moan as she stretched her arm back and grabbed him by the neck, she was afraid of falling but Chenle knew how to maneuver her, her back against his chest while he hugged the back of her legs, making them stick to his chest and also being wide open for the camera.

— Calm down, if you get tense it will be worse — He murmured under his breath, leaving a kiss on her cheek as he adjusted her to the height of his cock.

It was glory when he was finally able to penetrate her tight anus, his hips began to move frantically against her, making his thrusts short but fast releasing moans of pleasure from her, Chenle's grip was strong and secure, making it look like her pussy was throbbing and throbbing to be penetrated by something but he simply didn't pay attention to it, plus he couldn't while he grabbed her.

His back was leaning against the wall, a way to support himself while also holding the girl's weight, his balls swinging as his hips hit against that ass, he dedicated himself to leaving kisses on her neck while he fucked her, well, they weren't exactly kisses, but red marks that would remind her who they were from until he came in her tight ass, allowing himself to bury himself in her deep to ensure his semen.

— Chenle — She complained with a frown when he came so well in her without worrying about her orgasm.

— You're acting desperate again — He criticized her as he released her, leaving her on the floor.

But Chenle was a good man and besides he wanted to be in that ass again so he just pinned the girl against the wall, letting her balls get hard against the cold wall while he stood behind her at a small distance watching her anus throb as he released his semen, he indulged himself by slapping her lovely ass while he watched her.

— Come on, fuck me, get your orgasm — He invited her, slapping her ass again.

He didn't have to give any more orders for her to settle against the wall, her hips raised high as her ass rubbed against Chenle's cock until she finally let him in, both of them letting out a moan as she began to move on his phallus, fucking herself with Chenle's cock like a sex toy or fucking Chenle just as he had asked her to, Zhong's constant spanking generating a jolt in her ass that made him moan, he was delighted.

The girl moaned as she continued, her hips moving to let the cock go deep until her orgasm simply began to come and she became slow which made him roll his eyes as he grabbed her hips and hard, began to thrust into her, slamming her against the wall with each thrust.

— You're useless, you can't even fuck yourself — Chenle said as he reached out his hand to squeeze one of her hardened nipples.

It was enough for the slut to cum, unfortunately she didn't release the streams he was expecting but the flow did fall down her thighs in a sign of how pleased she was, he sure knew how to fuck her.

A change of scene happened, the last one where Chenle had put his cock on the girl's tits, rubbing himself over and over again while she licked the tip like a kitten until he released all his semen on her face, making her moan vaguely when the liquid wet her face, chest and breasts but she only smiled apparently pleased with being full of the man's semen.

— Good whore — He congratulated her as he buried his fingers in her mouth, letting her feel his semen.

And there the video ended, leaving her with her mouth open and her pussy shamefully soaked, it was depraved that she liked that fake video of her with the boy and also, that she would like to be treated like shit but the humidity of her panties revealed how horny she was and she could only enter the messages on her cell phone and look for the contact of the man who had fucked her so good in the video.

"I'm Hiro from Push, did you see the video?" She dared to send to Zhōng's number, hoping not to sound weird.

"Yeah, that shit is sick" Was her only response from the Chinese.

"Do you want to imitate it?" It didn't take long for that proposition to reach her that made her smile.

Of course she wanted to.

#nct #nct dream chenle #nct dream #chenle #zhong chenle #nct smut #nct dream smut #chenle smut

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haechani4ever · 5 months ago

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*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: bouquet ✧

╰┈➤ what bouquet i think nct dream would give u

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋpairing ot7 x gn!reader

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋgenre fluff

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋnote this is the first thing i write so be welcome tomake any recommendation or criticism

✦➼mark lee

✦-i think that mark gives flower not so often. he prefers to show his love in other ways like spending time with you. He will still give you flowers on special occasions like your birthday or anniversary. when he gives you flowers is not a big bouquet (or maybe if he is very in love with you) but always a very delicate one. he likes flowers like carnation, lilies and roses in light colors.

✦➼huang renjun

✦-im very sure that renjun is a tulip boy. tulips make him remind of you so thats why he likes it so much. i dont think that renjun gives yu flowers often. i think that he just do it randomly whenever he feels happy. i believe is something like he wakes up and thinks "oh, today is a great day to give my partner flowers".

✦➼lee jeno

✦-well, i think jeno is a variant of mark. but instead of just in very special occasions he will do it en every single "special" occasions. i mean things like if you have a new haircut or you went to the dentist. this man is really detailed and attentive. he likes every type of flower, but he always gets you your favorite ones.

✦➼lee donghyuck

✦-this boy obviosly gives you sunflowers. its his favorite flower and he will force you to make them your favorites too. i think that he gives flowers often, we have already seen that he likes to show his love by giving others gifts, so flowers are not the exception.

✦➼na jaemin

✦-im a believer that jaemin is such a romantic lover. he gives you only red roses, ofc, or any other flower related to romance. i think that jaemin is the member who gives flowers more often. he gives you a bouqet almos every date that you guys have so your house is now some kind of indoor garden.

✦➼zhong chenle

✦-ok, i think chenle would say something like "yeah, i left something for you at your room" and then you go thinking that is something simple and you see that is a giant red roses bouquet. he gives you flowers not so often because he prefers other type of gifts (expensive gifts) to spoil you, because, believe me, he loves to spoil you.

✦➼park jisung

✦-jisung definitely gives you white flowers and small bouquet. he thinks that flowers are just a simple gesture and you deserve more than something simple and material. but he actually likes giving you flowers so you probably will see him giving you a bouquet at least every three or two months.

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ohmygs-blog · 2 years ago

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✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ

texting the dreamies!

— “i’m so wet rn”

! suggestive /nsfw

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weirdkpopgirl · 1 year ago

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Friends Who Kiss | Chenle Fic #1

Title: Friends Who Kiss

Genre: Best friends to lovers, high school/college au

Warnings: mentions of the reader being insecure and having a mental breakdown at some point. a little suggestive, but not really

Word Count: ~ 5.6k

Author's Note: Okay to be very honest, I think that this story is kinda stupid and cliché. But it was an idea that I still wanted to try writing. And this is my first full-length fic for Chenle too, so I'm happy to post something for him. So to those who like cheesy romance stories, I hope you enjoy this. Thank you for reading ^ ^

➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶

Since the start of high school, Zhong Chenle has been a consistent part of your life. He arrived as a transfer student from Shanghai, while you were the reserved kid who often used studying as an excuse to avoid social interaction. So rather than you reaching out to him first, it was he who practically claimed you as his best friend. Your personalities were a striking contrast, but it proved to be the perfect balance. It didn't take long for the two of you to become inseparable.

However, your friendship took a turn in eleventh grade. You guys had gone to your house after school to do homework. Except it was mostly you working on assignments, while Chenle was animatedly ranting about some mobile game Jisung was terrible at playing.

“It’s unbelievable! Every time I check his character gets killed,” Chenle laughed, and you responded with a soft hum of acknowledgment.

The boy glanced up from his phone to find you engrossed in your textbooks. While your attention was focused on writing an essay, you were also trying to keep your mind from drifting to the unsettling conversation you had during lunch that day. Typically, you and Chenle sat together with his friends. But Jisung needed the boy’s help stalking his crush, so you found yourself sitting with some of the girls in your class.

Sensing the inner conflict brewing in your mind, Chenle rose from the bed and leaned over your shoulder.

“You've been at this since we got here. How is your brain not fried?” he asked, blunt as usual.

You shot the boy with an unappreciative glare. “It is fried. But our essay is due on Monday, and I still have to help you with yours.”

Chenle sighed, well aware of your enduring determination. Ever since he met you, he couldn’t understand why you stressed so much over assignments, especially when you always completed them before the due date. Then you somehow managed to go out of your way to ensure he was doing the same.

“You’re more than halfway finished, and I’ll get to mine on my own time,” He reassured, “Why don’t you take a break for now?”

Before you could protest, Chenle swiftly pulled you out of your chair and guided you to sit on the bed with him. Worry clouded his gaze. “Something’s troubling you, isn’t it?”

Your teeth sank into your lower lip, hating how Chenle knew you so well. He didn’t have a problem sharing what was on his mind, while you were the exact opposite. Yet, even a single look at you was enough for him to detect something was off.

“The girls at lunch were going on about their dating experiences and stuff,” you began to explain, your tone tinged with irritation at the memory. “They were all so surprised when I said I haven’t had my first kiss yet.”

You pushed yourself to meet Chenle's gaze, half dreading that he might burst into laughter. Instead, his expression held a hint of amusement, and that alone made you regret bringing up the topic.

Before he could respond, you hurriedly attempted to backtrack on your words. “It's stupid, I know—”

“It’s not stupid if it’s making you upset,” Chenle said firmly.

Leaning back in your seat, you let out an exasperated sigh. “I just can’t get their judgmental looks out of my head. All because I don’t have much experience with dating?”

Chenle's expression softened as he confessed, "There's nothing wrong with that, and there’s a lot of people like you. I haven't had my first kiss either."

“Really?!” You stared at him in disbelief. “Didn't you date Ko Mi-so though?”

Chenle scoffed, appearing slightly offended. “Okay, that happened such a long time ago. And we didn't even last a month, so we never kissed.”

Now that you thought about it, he was right about their relationship ending almost as quickly as it began. You recalled the time back in tenth grade when Chenle was quite smug about dating Mi-so, who happened to be the prettiest girl in class. Frankly, you were somewhat relieved when they broke up, given that she didn't particularly like you. Chenle hasn’t dated anyone since.

“Oh, I guess that makes sense,” your voice trailed off.

The boy stayed silent for a moment before an idea dawned on him. “You know what? Why don’t we have our first kiss now?”

Your cheeks felt like they were competing for a world record in how quickly they heated up at Chenle's proposal. He couldn't possibly be serious.

“Did I hear you right?” you stammered, thoroughly taken aback by the suggestion.

Chenle nodded confidently, “I mean, we're best friends, so it's not that weird. And it's better than kissing someone we don't know as well or not have a connection with.”

You could kind of see his point. Having Chenle as your first kiss did seem much safer than kissing some random guy. Besides, it wasn’t like either of you had any underlying feelings for each other. This would solely be for practice.

“Alright,” you reluctantly agreed, “But you have to promise not to make fun of me if I turn out to be a bad kisser."

Chenle chuckled and nodded. He inched closer to you on the bed, leaving little space between the two of you. Although he saw you every day, having your face this near made a faint blush tinge his cheeks.

He started to lean in more before pausing. "Um, maybe you should close your eyes."

"Oh—right," you mumbled awkwardly, then took a deep breath before allowing your eyelids to shut.

He had to suppress a chuckle, finding you kinda cute in that moment. Before you had a chance to second-guess yourself, Chenle pressed his lips against yours in a tender kiss. Shortly after, he drew back, searching for your reaction.

“So, how was that?” He asked, voice laced with teasing.

You stared at him incredulously for a moment before realizing he was waiting for you to answer. “I suppose it was okay,” you mumbled.

Chenle tilted his head with an amused grin. “Just okay?”

“Yeah, I guess I didn't feel much because we're not really into each other like that,” you admitted with a nonchalant shrug.

Okay, you might have partially lied about not feeling much during the kiss. Truth be told, there was this strange, fluttery sensation in your chest when your best friend's lips grazed yours. But perhaps all first kisses were like that, and you were simply overthinking it.

The boy beside you let out a hearty laugh. “Well at least we got that over with.”

You had to muster all your self-control not to blush when he followed up with, “And you're not a bad kisser, by the way.”

Believing that the experiment was over, the two of you returned to your previous tasks. Nothing changed much after that day in your bedroom, as you and Chenle remained best friends. But little did you realize that this wouldn't be the last kiss you'd be sharing with him.

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Despite your previous attempts to justify it, the second kiss you shared with Chenle happened partially because of you. As your senior year of high school unfolded, Chenle prepared for his performance at the spring festival. It was you who initially urged him to participate in the talent show. The countless times you had witnessed his piano playing and singing during your private moments together convinced you that he should share his talents with the world. Your compliments not only fueled Chenle’s ego but also prompted him to eagerly jot his name down on the sign-up sheet.

However, what you didn’t expect was to find him backstage, looking as pale as a ghost. He was supposed to go after a group of girls who were dancing to Red Velvet’s “Red Flavor.” With the intention of cheering him on in person, you spotted the dark-haired boy sitting on a chair, anxiously bouncing his legs.

“Last-minute jitters?" you asked softly.

Chenle glanced up at you and crossed his arms in a nonchalant manner. “What, me? I'm fine,” he replied, though his tone lacked conviction.

Just as Chenle knew you like the back of his hand, you were among the few who could read him. While he was partially correct about never being nervous, it didn't take an idiot to perceive that he was in that moment. It was evident he was trying to play it off to uphold his confident image.

One aspect that troubled you about Chenle was his constant facade of cheerfulness and carefree demeanor. No one could genuinely be happy all the time, and he was the kind of person who concealed his negative feelings when around others.

After deliberating on how to address the situation, you gently rested your hand on his shoulder, bringing yourself to eye level with him.

“Hey, you’re going to be amazing out there,” you reassured him. “I’ve seen how many hours you put into practicing that song. You have nothing to worry about.”

Chenle let out a heavy sigh. “Yeah, you're right.”

The smile he bestowed upon you didn't quite convince you. Biting your lip in hesitation, you glanced around to ensure no one else was nearby. Once you were sure that you were alone, you leaned down and gently planted a kiss on the boy’s forehead. Chenle’s eyes widened in surprise at your actions.

“What was that for?”

Blushing, you took a step back and stammered, “Just for good luck, you know. I—I’ll be right there in the crowd, watching you. So if you feel nervous on stage, just look at me.”

A more reassured smile spread across Chenle’s lips and before he stood up to swiftly peck you on the lips, leaving you more stunned than he was a few seconds ago.

“There, I definitely feel more ready now,” he declared with a teasing glint. And the smug Chenle you were familiar with had returned.

As Chenle’s playfulness lingered in the air, the sound of the audience clapping erupted for the girls, putting an end to your “moment.” With a knowing look, you both parted ways, allowing Chenle to step into the spotlight for his performance.

As he took the stage, you found a spot in the crowd, eyes fixed on him with awe. The rhythm of the applause filled the air, drowning out any lingering thoughts. In that moment, the stage became his world, and you couldn't help but be swept away by the magic of his talent. The earlier exchange faded into the background as you watched Chenle shine, each note and melody weaving a captivating spell that left you in admiration.

Neither of you mentioned the kiss after that day. The interaction remained more platonic than anything, a gesture that was only meant to show your support for him. But Chenle still liked to think he killed the stage because of it.

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Chenle was undeniably responsible for the next time the two of you kissed. However, this particular incident didn't unfold until the first semester of your freshman year in college. The joy of discovering you both had been accepted into the same university was palpable, though Chenle appeared to be more exuberant about the news. In contrast, you felt a sense of relief, grateful that you wouldn't be venturing into the world of college alone.

In one of your classes, a sunbae began to show interest in you. Despite your attempts to politely reject him, it became apparent that he wasn't willing to accept no for an answer.

One day after class, he cornered you in the hallway, insisting that you go out with him. As you tried to maintain your composure, he grabbed you by the wrist when you tried to walk away. The harsh move triggered internal panic within you.

You could sense the danger in his tone as his head tilted cockily. “Come on, (Y/n), don’t be so difficult. I know you’re just playing hard to get.”

“I—I’m sorry but I just don’t feel the same as you, Sunbae,” you stuttered, trying to be assertive. “Please let go.”

Refusing to relent, the sunbae was on the verge of pulling you in closer when another hand intervened, forcefully ripping you out of his grasp. Your head turned in astonishment to see Chenle casting a disgusted look at the guy in front of you. The flames in Chenle’s eyes made you realize that you had never seen him so livid before.

“She said to let go of her. What part of that do you not understand?” Chenle’s voice cut through the tension.

The sunbae scoffed and crossed his arms in defense, “Yah, who are you to involve yourself in someone else’s matters? Are you her boyfriend or something?”

You watched as the corner of Chenle’s lips turned into a smirk as he snaked an arm around your waist in a protective gesture.

“That’s right. So who are you to go after another man’s girlfriend?” he retorted confidently. Your eyes widened, almost surprised as the jerk in front of you.

Shaking his head in a mix of disbelief and embarrassment, the sunbae pointed a finger at you. “This is a joke, right? You just asked him to pretend to be your boyfriend to mess with me!”

Before you could respond, Chenle took matters into his own hands. His free hand briskly moved to the back of your neck, drawing you in for a passionate kiss. In a typical situation, your best friend's impulsive actions might have freaked you out immediately. However, the way his fingers delicately pressed against your back reassured you that he was doing this for your sake, Closing your eyes, you kissed back and tried to reciprocate with the same passion Chenle was pouring.

Moments later, Chenle pulled away and turned to the sunbae, wearing a satisfied grin on his face. “Do you believe her now? Not that she has to prove anything to you.”

The older male muttered begrudgingly under his breath, “Whatever, not worth my time.”

With a scowl, he stormed off, leaving behind a palpable sense of relief in the wake of his departure. Once he was gone, you removed yourself from Chenle's hold and shot him a look of confusion.

“You know you didn’t have to do that right?”

Chenle chuckled, “Well, someone had to put an end to his nonsense. Besides, I've always wanted to play the protective boyfriend card.”

“Protective boyfriend? You almost gave me a heart attack!” You smacked him on the shoulder.

Chenle’s smirk remained, but he adopted a more concerned tone. “But seriously, (Y/n), why didn’t you tell me he was bothering you earlier?”

“I thought I could handle things on my own.” You shrugged weakly, lowering your head in guilt.

Chenle sighed, recognizing your aversion to depending on others for your problems. Throughout the time he’d known you, he'd witnessed your willingness to go to great lengths to help those you cared about. However, when it came to your own struggles, you seemed to prefer suffering in silence.

“We’re best friends for a reason,” he reminded you, “Looking after each other is 50/50, you know?”

You offered him a small smile, “I guess you’re right. Thanks for saving me today.”

“Well, you can thank me by buying food tonight,” Chenle said, the playful glint returning to his eyes. “It’s your turn anyway.”

Rolling your eyes, you let him lead you out of the building. But Chenle’s words from earlier lingered in the back of your mind. “We’re best friends for a reason.”

The two of you were the epitome of what best friends were. And that was all the two of you would ever be, right?

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At this point, you were beginning to lose count of the number of times you’ve kissed your best friend. Despite this, your friendship maintained its familiar rhythm throughout the university. But after that hallway encounter, the awkwardness that came with kissing your best friend faded. Although it was more of Chenle seeming unfazed, and you becoming less surprised each time it happened. And indeed, there were a few more instances that caused your lips to meet.

Like the time Chenle excitedly dragged you to his dorm to watch a Golden State Warriors game, and, in the heat of the moment, he gave you a quick kiss before cheering some more. Then there was the other time when you both went out for drinks with friends, a few drunken kisses were shared.

There weren't any real feelings attached to the kisses you and Chenle shared. At least, that was what you repeatedly told yourself. However, as you were halfway through your first year of university, you finally started to question the true nature of your friendship with Zhong Chenle.

Those thoughts began to sink in just before your first finals in college. Isolated in your dorm room, you immersed yourself in studying for a math exam scheduled in three days. Calls and texts from friends went largely ignored as you turned off your phone in an attempt to focus. However, Chenle wasn't about to let that slide.

One night, he let himself into your dorm, carrying a bag of your favorite takeout—knowing well that you tended to skip meals when stressed. You could see the determination in his face, ready to scold you. But the expression quickly transitioned to one of concern when he caught you on the verge of a breakdown.

You sat at your desk surrounded by textbooks and notebooks filled with scribbled equations. The sight of your trembling body and slightly tousled hair, a result of pulling on it too hard, tugged at Chenle’s heart. He was well aware of how your anxiety affected you at times. But he had never witnessed it manifest quite like this.

Instantly, the bag was placed on the floor, and he was at your side. “(Y/n), what's wrong?"

“I—I'm going to fail my calc final,” you swallowed, your fingers curling into fists. Your shoulders slumped, and the weight of despair was evident in the way you hunched over the desk.

He placed a hand on your shoulder, attempting to calm you down. “You still have a few weeks before finals, (Y/n). And you’re not going to fail.”

“Yes, I am!” you cut him off, your voice strained. Tears welled up in your eyes, and your hands clenched even tighter. “I’ve been studying for days, and my dumb brain still doesn't understand anything. Do you know how stupid I feel?”

“Being bad at math doesn’t make you stupid, (Y/n),” Chenle said, trying to inject a bit of lightheartedness into the situation. However, his comment didn’t seem to offer you any comfort.

You shook your head miserably in response. “Stop trying to be nice. I'm going to fail, and then I’ll end up letting down my parents and everyone else.”

Chenle’s heart ached at the defeat in your voice. Setting his jokes aside, he recognized that words weren’t what you needed at the moment. Instead, he enveloped you in a warm embrace. You hesitated only briefly before surrendering to his comforting hold, attempting to fight back tears.

“Just let it out,” he whispered.

Those simple words acted as an emotional release trigger, and Chenle found himself gently rubbing your back as you quietly cried into his shoulder. A sense of mixed emotions flooded him as he held you in that moment. A part of him felt a twinge of relief, grateful that you let him be there for you. You often kept your emotions bottled up, making it a challenge for him to discern how you truly felt at times.

However, there was a pang of sadness accompanying that satisfaction. He knew you didn't just cry in front of anyone, and realizing that you had reached this breaking point signaled the depth of your struggle.

After a while, Chenle gently pulled back, brushing a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “You need a break, (Y/n). Let’s step away from the desk for a bit.”

"No, I really should—" you began to protest, but Chenle cut you off.

"You really should eat the food I brought you before it gets cold," he insisted, picking up the bag again.

He led you to sit on the carpet of your cramped dorm room, creating a makeshift dining space for the two of you. As you both shared a meal, Chenle continued to provide a comforting presence, occasionally cracking a joke to lighten the atmosphere.

As the night wore on, the exhaustion in your eyes became more prominent. Even so, you knew you should go back to studying. But Chenle seemed to disagree.

“Maybe you should just rest for the night. I promise to help you with math in the morning,” he suggested. However, upon seeing the unconvinced look you gave him, he backtracked on his words. “Okay, I'll have Renjun help you.”

Too tired to argue, you gave in, and that's how you found yourself lying in bed with your best friend. Back in high school, you used to have sleepovers at his house on the weekends. At night, the two of you would be lying on his bed, staring up at the ceiling and talking about anything. However, having him beside you at that moment felt strange.

You saw a sincere tenderness reflected in those large eyes of his. A part of you wondered if Chenle often gazed at you with such fondness and you simply hadn’t noticed before. Either way, the way he was looking at you made you feel even stranger. And the short silence that had settled between the two of you wasn’t helping.

Uncertain of how much longer you could endure the intensity, you broke eye contact with him and murmured, “Thank you for always being there for me, even when I try to push you away”

Chenle chuckled, adjusting his position to prop himself up on his elbow. “Well, of course, because how could you live without me?”

His ability to joke at a time like this struck you as unfathomable. Instead of the usual eye roll or pushing off the bed, a serious expression remained etched on your face.

“You're right, I don't think I can live without you,” you said, your voice laced with drowsiness. “Because you’re one of the few people who truly care about me.”

The amusement in his eyes danced away, as he felt the gravity of your words. Something about seeing this vulnerable side of you was so beautiful in his eyes. Before he could fully process his own thoughts, Chenle found himself leaning in to close the space between you with his lips meeting your own.

Uncertain whether it was the leftover stress from your meltdown or the sleep deprivation that prompted you to kiss back without much thought. You could recall all the times you’ve kissed Chenle throughout the years. But this one would always stand out to you.

This kiss lasted a lot longer than your previous ones. But it wasn’t just the way he tilted your chin upward for a better angle, or the feeling of his dark locks of hair slipping between your fingers. Nor was it the soft pressure of his lips moving in sync with yours. It was the indescribable emotions that made time seem to stand still, weaving an unspoken connection that surpassed words and left you yearning for more.

Aside from pulling away, both of you gasping for breath, and noticing how Chenle's lips were redder than you had ever seen them, you vaguely recalled what happened after the kiss. When you woke up the next morning, Chenle was already gone. However, he had left you a text message, mentioning that he went to check if Renjun could help tutor you in math.

But math was no longer the sole stressor in your mind. Your best friend had kissed you last night, and unlike all the other times, this one left you feeling more confused than ever.

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True to his word, Renjun offered to meet up with you that Sunday afternoon at the campus library. Within an hour of sitting down to unravel the calculus concept that eluded you, Renjun finally helped you grasp the material. Although the looming fear of failing finals had diminished, you still felt a weight on your shoulders.

“You don’t seem as relieved as I thought you’d be,” Renjun remarked lightheartedly. Even he could tell your mind was preoccupied with something else.

You smiled sheepishly, “No, I am! I seriously owe you for helping me out. I just…”

“Is it something to do with Chenle?” he asked, almost like he was a mind reader.

His unexpected question caught you off guard. “How did you know?” you stammered, feeling the heat quickly rise to your cheeks.

A knowing smile played on the boy’s lips as he leaned back in his seat. “Oh come on, (Y/n). You have that look on your face that something happened between the two of you.”

Sometimes you seriously wished Renjun wasn’t so good at reading people. Even though you weren’t as close to him as Chenle was, he’s known you long enough to notice things that others wouldn’t. For instance, when something was troubling you.

Biting your lip, you debated whether to be truthful with Renjun. Although you didn't typically share your problems with others, you recognized that confiding in someone at a time like this was necessary to maintain your sanity.

“Chenle kissed me last night,” you tossed the statement out in the air, hoping you wouldn’t regret it.

Renjun’s eyes widened at this revelation, “He did?!”

“Well you see, we’ve kissed before. But this time it felt different,” you clarified, baffling the boy across from you even more. Internally cringing, you were acutely aware of how bad this sounded.

Before he could question, you continued to elaborate. “Look, it's not as complicated as it sounds. It’s just ever since we agreed to be each other’s first kiss, Chenle and I just keep having these…accidental kisses. Whether it’s out of excitement or to get guys hitting on me to go away.”

Renjun listened quietly as you recounted all the other times you’ve kissed Chenle. When you circled back to the previous night, you felt more conflicted than ever.

“But the kiss last night left me feeling so confused,” you confessed, running a hand through your hair. “Initially, I thought he was just doing it out of comfort, but now I’m not so sure.”

“Well, have you considered the possibility that he has feelings for you?” Renjun inquired, crossing his arms. His suggestion sounded so simple, yet it felt like navigating uncharted territory in your mind.

You shook your head in denial. “N—No, I mean we’ve been best friends for five years. He can’t possibly see me that way.”

“Like that’s ever stopped friends from falling for each other,” Renjun cocked his head. “It doesn’t take a genius to know that he likes you, (Y/n).”

His point made you mentally curse. If you looked at your history with Chenle from an objective point of view, the two of you certainly didn’t act like normal best friends.

“And, it’s pretty obvious that you like him too,” Renjun added, twirling the pencil between his fingers.

His statement left you feeling exposed, as if you had been caught red-handed committing a crime. Laughing nervously, you shook your head, “Renjun, we’re just friends. I…I don’t see him that way.”

Renjun raised an eyebrow, “Friends who kiss? Did you really not feel anything in those moments?”

Your teeth sank further into your lower lip as Renjun’s question hit you. The reality of your feelings for Chenle lingered in the air, challenging the facade you had built to convince yourself otherwise. It was like trying to hold sand in your fists, slipping away no matter how tightly you clenched. The truth, however inconvenient, seemed to be unraveling before you.

“I…I did feel something,” you slowly admitted, “But I never said anything because I didn’t want our friendship to change. It just seemed easier to pretend those moments were nothing more than accidents.”

Renjun’s eyes softened with understanding. “Well maybe a little change is what you need in your friendship.”

Maybe Renjun was onto something, perhaps change was necessary. In the past, you had always held out on dating, using the excuse that you were waiting for the right person. Despite the fear of potential rejection, what if Chenle was the person you had been waiting for all along?

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Chenle’s living room bathed in the gentle glow of the TV screen, a familiar sight during your Friday movie nights since college began. It was supposed to be a time to unwind, to escape the pressures of school for a little while. However, instead of the usual peaceful and easygoing atmosphere, an unspoken tension hung in the air tonight. Beyond picking a movie and deciding who made the popcorn, you and Chenle barely talked. The weight of the unspoken words made the space feel suffocating, and you couldn't shake the feeling of unease that settled in your chest.

Unable to endure the weighty silence any longer, you turned your head to make a lame comment about the movie. However, before you could speak, Chenle beat you to it.

“Can we talk?” His voice carried a hint of restlessness, an unusual departure from his usual tone.

Trying to maintain a casual demeanor, you lightly nodded. With your acknowledgment, Chenle exhaled deeply and sat up straighter to face you properly.

“I know how crazy this might sound,” he started, running a hand through his hair. “But I’ve been thinking, and I don’t think we can stay friends.”

His words felt like a gun being pointed at your chest, panic surged within you as you tried to process the boy’s words. Of all the ways you predicted this conversation could go, this was not one of them.

“What do you mean?” you asked, your voice even smaller than his.

Noticing the perplexity in your eyes, Chenle continued. “You see, I've been in love with you for—I don’t know how long. But I spent all these years burying my feelings like a fool, because I never thought you’d see me that way. Yet, every time we kiss, it becomes harder for me to ignore my feelings for you.”

Chenle glanced down at his folded hands, vulnerability seeping into those brown orbs of his. “The other night made me realize that I don’t want to just be friends who kiss anymore. I want to be something more to you.”

His words lingered in the air now that they were out in the open. Your heart raced faster than it ever has before, as your cheeks flushed with heat. Chenle’s eyes bore into yours, his expression nervous yet hopeful.

For a moment, you were left speechless. But you still had the sense to hit him on the shoulder, scolding, “Oh my gosh, you can’t start a conversation like that, Chenle. You scared me!”

The boy chuckled sheepishly, rubbing his shoulder. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do that. But seriously, (Y/n), I meant what I said.”

A mix of emotions played on your face before you quietly admitted, “Honestly, I’ve wanted to be something more to you since that day we kissed in my bedroom.”

You noticed a smile of relief beginning to form on his lips, but you held up a finger before he could say anything. Now that he had taken the first step, you decided it was time for you to do the same.

“But I kept trying to convince myself that all the times we kissed were accidental or just for comfort,” you confessed, looking directly into his eyes. “And the reason I’ve been pushing away my feelings for you was because I was afraid of losing a friend who means the world to me.”

His hand rested on top of yours, the light touch sending a shiver down your spine. “You don’t have to be afraid because you’ll never lose me, (Y/n).”

The softness and sincerity in his eyes made you want to cry for some inexplicable reason. You once believed that confessing your feelings for Chenle would only lead to frustration and heartbreak. However, as you sat here with him, holding his hand, those worries seemed to vanish.

“So…what do we do now?” you asked, unsure of what was supposed to come next in these situations.

A mischievous glint danced in his eyes as he grinned. “I think this is the part where we kiss. But you know, as boyfriend and girlfriend.”

Just as you were processing his words, he moved closer, his breath warm against your skin, making your heart flutter. His eyes searched yours for permission.

“Well, what are you waiting for then?” you whispered.

With that, the distance between you closed, and your lips met in a tender kiss. It was a sweet surrender, a culmination of years of friendship and suppressed feelings. Although this wasn’t your first kiss with Chenle, it felt that way in a sense. For you could finally savor the tender feeling of his lips without questioning the intention behind it.

In that moment, all you focused on was the way Chenle had his hand on the small of your back, guiding you closer as he deepened the kiss. Your fingers found their way to rest on the nape of his neck, feeling the warmth of his skin.

Although the change in this dynamic had just begun, this newfound connection promised countless moments of shared laughter, whispered confessions, and the sweet warmth of shared kisses. You had a feeling that you could easily get used to this beautiful new normal. By the way Chenle smiled during the kiss, you could tell he felt the same way.

➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶

#nct dream #kpop #nctzen #czennie #nct dream imagines #chenle imagine #chenle fic #nct dream fic #chenle x reader #zhong chenle #nct scenarios #kpop fic #nct dream x reader #chenle #chenle scenarios

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a3r3n · 6 months ago

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from the "Chasing Cupid" series

Nct High Stories presents...

★We Young★

A Chenle × reader story

Chapter 25: "the third wheel"

🌼 [prev] < [part 25] > [next]

> series masterlist // Chasing Cupid Series <

a/n: I know it’s been a long time, and I’m truly sorry, but I had this ready and I felt I owed it to you. I’m gonna post the epilogue soon and then who knows, I had something else planned, but I’m not sure yet I want to pursue it. Only time will tell. Thank u for your understanding <333

#chenle smau #chenle x reader #chenle x y/n #chenle fic #zhong chenle #nct dream smau #nct dream au #chenle fluff #chenle angst #chenle romance #chenle ff #nct dream chenle #nct #nct dream #chenle #social media au #kpop

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tonicandjins · 1 year ago

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frequent flyers | lee donghyuck

CHARACTERS: haechan | lee donghyuck x fem reader

WORD COUNT: 13k

GENRE: angst, fluff, smut (non-linear) | best friends to strangers

AUTHOR'S NOTE: read with caution. this is written in a non-linear form, so you don't know when it's going to hurt ;) this is a dh x reader version of my markhyuck fic from ao3, but with a different ending

frequent flyers is the third installment from 23 moments with donghyuck

Donghyuck looks beautiful like this: skin glowing under the dainty string lines and lined up lanterns hanging from the high ceilings, lips curled up to genuine smile instead of the usual teasing smirk plastered on his mouth, cheeks tainted in berry red—a single manifestation of the glasses of wine he’s had tonight, eyes round and sincere and everything you’ve ever known.

Zhong Chenle’s mellifluous voice echoes in the banquet, singing to the tune of lover as the newly weds take their first dance (third song in) in the middle of the floor, surrounded by couples and lovers swaying. From your peripheral view, you catch a glimpse of Park Jisung sneaking his phone out and recording the whole thing—after Chenle clearly mentioned no one else aside from the newlyweds’ assigned videographer is allowed to film him.

On other days, you’d love to listen to Chenle’s golden voice, and he knows this because from all the years you’ve known him, you’d supported his career and you’d spend many hours sitting in his studio, listening to him record, or sitting somewhere halfway across the world, watching him write his songs. I can listen to him sing all day, you’d say, but as the night jumps deeper into its darkness, you realize how excruciatingly long his 15-minute medley went by.

You look across the room.

Donghyuck looks enthralling like this: beautiful even after all these years, charming like he’s the day he turned 21, grown, earnest, and at ease. It’s agonizing to look at from where you sit across the room—hands wrapped around her waist, eyes closing as he leans in, drunk, drunk, drunk like the night you’d left him, heart void of you.

You begin to count.

At 27, you’re pretty much done with all kinds of romance the world could offer.

Unlike the person sitting next to you, you prefer to listen to Blushing Youth than watch some high-rated romantic comedy film during your 12-hour flight from Heathrow to Incheon, and while you’ve been moving around for most of your life (having earned your nickname as frequent flyer, credits to Jisung), flying is not one of the things you’re fond of. In fact, it’s not in the long list of strengths you brag about in your LinkedIn bio. You reckon it would truly be embarrassing, to say the least, to ask a stranger to distract you from the sound of the aircraft’s engine running at full power as it takes off from the runway, hence you opt to blast Ahn Jiyoung’s voice right in your eardrums.

It’s odd, people would say, for someone who’s supposedly mastered the art of moving from one country to another to be so terrified of flights, but if people want you to be completely honest, nothing sounds more horrifying than the thought of seeing Lee Donghyuck after years of radio silence.

As pathetic as it sounds, your heart still skips a beat—three, sometimes—at the thought of him.

Donghyuck, who used to be your sun, who had you orbiting around his gravitational pull for years, who used to be so close but not enough to have, who—if you think about it now—might have never been the center of your solar system after all, but maybe just a shooting star passing by.

The plane takes off, roughly and loud like you’d expected, and you catch a glimpse of a scene from Love, Rosie from the person sitting beside you and immediately regret going coach instead of flying business like how you would if your flights last more than ten hours. You hate this film; you hate it because Alex is to Rosie, like how Donghyuck is to you.

Alex and Rosie, like you and Donghyuck, are—were—long-time best friends who used to be inseparable until one day they’re not. Rosie misses her chance. Alex stops yearning, hoping, waiting, and finally decides to get on with his life. It’s a story of a bunch of tangled webs—a messy tumbleweed of missed calls and delayed flights, of long nights and short days, of forgotten promises and faded hope.

The film introduces new people, bids goodbye to old chapters, but in the end it’s Alex and Rosie.

And you wish that’s how your story went. You don’t end up kissing him in your very own hotel with an awe-striking view of the horizon right outside the window.

You bury the thought before you start missing him again. You run out of tracks from Blushing Youth’s discography like how you run dry from thinking about what happens next when your plane lands.

Might as well sleep it off.

A sharp, jabbing pain on your left leg wakes you up from your unscheduled sleep. Hissing, you find Donghyuck sitting on top of your legs.

“I swear to God,” you breathe, kicking your best friend’s weight off your limbs. “I will freaking kill you.”

“Dude, what’s wrong with saying fuck? You’re literally twenty,” Donghyuck replies, moving further so his entire body crushes yours, and you have to pretend that his warmth doesn’t make you feel some type of way, hence you push him as hard as you can until he falls onto the carpeted floor of your room.

He falls with a thump. “Screw you,” he mumbles, mouth forming a pout that you’d gladly smack out of his face—except you’d do it with your very own lips. “It’s almost one in the afternoon. Why are you napping?”

“Good question, Donghyuck,” you start, sitting up and rubbing your eyes while looking for the pair of specs that Donghyuck is already shoving towards your direction; you gladly take it. “Unlike you, I had to work in the café until one in the morning. I hate being rostered in the closing shift, but it pays damn well. Plus, I forgot to do my laundry so I had to throw my clothes in before I slept.

“Overworking again, I see,” he muses, sighing as he scoots to sit cross-legged across you on the bed too tiny for two people.

“The last week of the semester always sucks balls,” you answer, tilting your head in attempts to stretch your stiffened neck and get some kind of relief. “Why are you here anyway? Shouldn’t you be out there doing something stupid with Na Jaemin?”

“There’s a music festival on Friday,” he starts right away. “Jaemin’s wondering if I’d be interested to go, says he could get us some free passes from the guy he’s hooking up with. Apparently, the guy is DJ-ing.”

You blink. “Which one? Lee Jeno? Or Yoon Sanha?” you ask, genuinely curious because Jaemin is Jaemin and he could never be caught exclusively hooking up with one person.

Donghyuck shrugs. “Does it matter? Is it a yes or a no? That’s the question.”

He begins to fiddle with his fingers, playing with the rings on his long, delicate digits, and you recognize it almost instantly. Donghyuck is nervous. You might have an idea why.

“Is this you finally asking me out, Lee Donghyuck?” you half-joke, scratching your head. Donghyuck looks anywhere but your face. A glimpse of his eyes is all you need, because if the eyes are the windows to one’s soul, then Donghyuck’s are wide open, with no curtains and bare from all layers—at least that’s how they are to you. His eyes are wavering, and though he’s mastered the ability to keep his face tough as steel, those orbs could only do so little when it comes to hiding from you.

So, you smile, reaching out and leaning closer, kneeling until you’re face to face with him. “Only kidding, Hyuck,” you say finally, taking it easy because this conversation is not for one who’s hazy from sleep and one who can’t even look at the other in the eyes. “Of course, I’ll come with you. Who else can you bring anyway?”

Donghyuck looks up, rolling his eyes; he’s back. “You’re not really irreplaceable,” he replies smugly. “Don’t think too highly of yourself.”

You poke your tongue out and reach over your night stand to check your phone; at the same time, Donghyuck starts biting his fingernails. You don’t think twice—like blinking, a habit, natural—and reach out to pull his hand away, mumbling about how he should start working on getting rid of this bad habit of his. Donghyuck’s hand is warmer compared to yours, and he lets out a whine, complaining about your freezing hands, but squeezes you hand back anyway.

You are content with this. You hope Donghyuck is, too.

The lingering touches. The stolen kisses. The piercing glances.

While they all seem fleeting and simple, they mean the most to you. You begin to think if Donghyuck feels the same as he pulls you closer until you’re both back lying on his bed, your cheek resting on top of Donghyuck’s warm, cloth-covered chest. You wonder if he means it, when he says you’re not irreplaceable and that maybe you’re a little too comfortable, a little too satisfied with whatever it is that you have.

On a drunken night, Donghyuck may have asked you once. You remember it and think about it so much that sometimes it felt like a dream.

“How long, Y/N,” he had asked, his voice an octave deeper than usual, gaze a shade darker. “How long until you let yourself just lose it? For once, just—just please, let your feelings consume you.”

You didn’t want to—not then, not now—because it’s going to hurt.

It’s going to hurt because it’s Donghyuck.

It’s Donghyuck who feels like home, whose hands are warm enough for your cold ones, your own little sun. Losing him is the extinction of your solar system.

“Y/N,” he had whined when you didn’t reply, shaking you, pleading. “When are you going to want for more? I want you to ask me for more.”

But Donghyuck had passed out before you had the chance to think of an answer—time frame—and you wonder what your answer would have been if Donghyuck stayed awake for a couple more minutes.

“I guess napping at this time of the day doesn’t sound too bad,” Donghyuck murmurs against your hair, kissing it before relaxing. “Set an alarm for me. 3 pm.”

You hope Donghyuck asks you again, not this time, but you hope the question lingers in his mind a little longer.

He falls asleep to the sound of your breathing.

When the person sitting next to you finally wakes up, you could only sigh in relief.

The aircraft has landed a few minutes ago, and your flight seatmate slept so soundly that it took you a couple of minutes to shake her awake.

The 12-hour flight is a pain in the ass, and you wish you mean that figuratively. Waiting was something that you were once good at, and Renjun often told you he wished he had half the patience you had. If you think about it now and reflect whether you’re as patient and as willing to wait as before, you’d changed vastly. Ridiculous, how one could change so much in a lifetime.

Huang Renjun is standing behind a barricade when you finally reach the arrival area after going through immigration. He’s holding a piece of paper that says WELCOME HOME, Y/N! Renjun doesn’t give you the time to cross the boundary because he attacks you in bone-crushing hug the second he’s allowed to. You almost topple over him, your glasses at risk of either falling out of your face and into the cold, hard ground, or being crushed between your nose and Renjun’s shoulder.

Renjun chants your nickname over and over again, swaying both your bodies left and right as though you weighed nothing. “I’m literally about to combust. My chest has been pounding since I arrived here. You have no idea how much I missed you, and you were taking forever to go through immigration.”

“Oh, Huang Renjun,” you sigh, inhaling his scent and returning the hug. “Some things never change. You’re still the sweetest when you miss people. Absence really makes the heart grow fond.”

Renjun pulls away to get a good look on you. “Y/N, you’re all grown up. I can’t believe you resisted not seeing me in person for four years.”

“You’re just as grown up as I am,” you reply. “We Facetime each other every other day. What are you talking about?”

“It’s never the same,” he mumbles and helps you with your luggage despite it only being one small luggage, a small duffel bag, and your small backpack. He starts nagging as soon as he notices how small your baggage is.

“You were away for literally four years and you think packing three old shirts and a pair of jeans will be enough to get you through your entire trip here?” Renjun gasps. “You’re stupid if you think Chenle and Jisung are allowing you to leave after what we’re all here for. They have an entire month planned out the second you agreed to come home.”

“I didn’t bring only three shirts, for your information. And I did bring a few pairs of trousers and a coat, plus my dress for the wedding,” you defend. “And I can’t extend my trip here. I thought we’ve all got that one settled.”

Renjun laughs, as if what you said is some kind of joke, as he leads you towards the exit of the airport. “You know we would 100%, without hesitation, burn your passport if it means we could make you stay longer, don’t you? I hope you don’t underestimate us like that.”

You chuckle at his empty threat, your chest swelling at the thought of your long-time friends being thrilled of your arrival in Seoul. You wonder how much has changed in the last four years, and you reckon nothing much has when it comes to your friends. You’d left when most of you were twenty-three, and the only person you’d ever seen in person since then was Chenle, who at that time, had business in London so he stayed where you lived instead of a luxurious hotel he could afford.

“We’re heading to Chenle’s place,” Renjun announces as soon as you sit comfortably in the passenger seat of his car. “But he’s still in his studio recording something, so he won’t be around until maybe five.”

“Why are we going to Chenle’s place if he’s not there yet?” you ask. “He didn’t tell me he had work.”

“We’ve all worked around our schedules to meet you today,” Renjun explains as he turns the ignition on and starts backing up. “And everyone knows his home’s passcode. Remember back in college when his stupid fancy condo eventually became everyone’s? That’s still how it is now. Only this time, he owns a penthouse in Gangnam’s most expensive building. What a spoiled brat.”

“He earned it,” you comment.

Renjun hums. An old track from the local radio station plays just as the vehicle exits the airport’s parking area. You hadn’t heard this song in years, but your mouth sings the lyrics as though it’s only been yesterday.

Renjun is amused. “Some things never really change.”

Donghyuck suddenly changes his hair color on Sophomore year in college. You, on the other hand, are about to have an aneurysm.

Na Jaemin makes fun of you, laughs as if your reaction is the most hilarious thing he’s ever seen his entire life. He deems it as the best day of his life.

“Jaemin, am I a fucking joke to you?” you ask. Jaemin doesn’t even bother to answer. “You think this is funny?”

You almost choke on nothing when Donghyuck decides to walk towards the table you’re sharing with Jaemin inside the university’s very own cafeteria. He’s holding a tray of food for lunch. The man himself has a shy smile on his face, evidently aware of the attention that the people around are giving him because of his newly-dyed pink hair, and you can’t really blame anyone if they stared a little longer.

Because Donghyuck is already beautiful, with his shining eyes and glowing skin and a smile that could make the earth stop orbiting around the sun.

But this Donghyuck, Pink Sun as Jaemin had started calling him, he’s something else. You might pass out if you look at him a little longer.

“I told you pink looks amazing on you!” Jaemin exclaims as soon as Donghyuck is close enough.

Donghyuck instantly blushes, but covers it up with a smug smirk across his mouth.

“Careful,” Donghyuck warns. “I don’t want you getting hurt if I reject you.”

Jaemin gasps, “You would never!”

Donghyuck playfully sticks out his tongue on Jaemin and finally, finally, turns towards you. Your breath is caught in a hitch. Donghyuck tilts his head slightly and you’re about to punch himself in the face.

“What do you think?” the man asks, smiling cheekily. “Do you think I look better blond or pink-haired?”

You swallow. It takes you great power not to pull Donghyuck and kiss him squarely on the mouth.

Blond Donghyuck was a menace in the society. Pink Sun is giving you a heart attack.

But you’re not about to make things too obvious, so you shrug and mutter a small “either is fine.” Jaemin kicks you under the table. Donghyuck sighs, taking out his phone to open its front camera, probably to check himself out as he brushes his fingertips in his hair.

“You’re cheap, Y/N,” he says, putting his phone down. “I basically burn my scalp to get this hair color and pull it off better than Lee Taeyong ever will, and all I get from you is, ‘either is fine.’”

Jaemin laughs hysterically, taking his phone out as Donghyuck takes the empty seat beside you—like always, because seats beside you are always reserved for him. Donghyuck carefully places the tray of food he got, immediately, your eyes catch the extra drink he has and your heart somersaults because you know it’s for you.

And this is supposed to be normal. Your friends tell you it’s a routine—every day—and you and him do things for each other like second nature. So, why does it make your heart race like this?

Your phone chimes as Donghyuck starts eating.

“We really need to work on your communication skills,” the text message from Jaemin says.

Your comprehension in Korean went from bad to worse, if it’s even possible.

Renjun is currently roasting you for it, while Jisung and Kim Minjeong are arguing about what to eat. You tell them how small the Asian community in London is as compared to other countries. Jaemin announces that Mark Lee just boarded his flight from Vancouver, too, and you cheer, excited to see him as well after all these years. Yoo Jimin calls out Jisung and Minjeong’s bullshit and says she’d already ordered from the nearest restaurant.

How you all end up in Chenle’s penthouse before the owner himself is aware, you have no idea. All you know is that things have not really changed that much.

You feel a little disoriented, your mind still a little hazy from the 12-hour trip, and you hate that the jetlag is hitting you as early as now. You feel like you could fall asleep anytime soon.

Then you hear familiar voices faintly coming from the door, then the door itself being unlocked. You observe from the digital clock above Chenle’s fancy television that it’s only nearly two in the afternoon, so it’s not Chenle who’s coming in.

Donghyuck appears from the door before you realize it, and he takes your breath away before you could even look him in the eyes.

“Sorry, we’re late,” the dark-haired man says, his voice making you feel suffocated, stepping out of his boots because God forbid anyone who steps inside Zhong Chenle’s penthouse wearing the outdoor shoes.

Lee Jeno enters behind him, his eye smile ready to meet you, while Jaemin says they arrived just in time for lunch. All is a blur and everything sounds like white noise, because Donghyuck looks at you in the eyes with the softest gaze, the smallest smile, and suddenly it doesn’t feel so cold in Seoul.

Jeno walks past him and finds his space beside Jaemin. You hear Renjun and Jisung start arguing about another thing. All while Donghyuck stays still from where he stands, about ten feet away from your space, eyes still on you.

When they’re done dancing, Donghyuck walks with her, holding her hand and keeping her close.

He passes by, doesn’t even take a glance to your direction.

Donghyuck looks at you in amusement.

“It was terrible,” you grunt. “The worst day of my life.”

He giggles and pulls you in his arms, kissing the top of your head while you stand in the middle of the room. You’re still dressed in your warm clothes as you’d just arrived from the airport. You sigh in relief because you’ve been waiting for this all weekend.

“Don’t be too dramatic,” he mumbles. “Your cousin’s going to be ballistic if he learns that you called his wedding the worst day of your life.”

“You should’ve gone there with me,” you muse. “They were introducing me to so many people, and my uncle knows I’m shit at socializing, therefore forcing me to hang out with people I barely know is like stabbing me in the eye and asking me how many fingers you’re holding up.”

Donghyuck chuckles. “What could I have done if I were there?”

You smile, burying your face in his warm chest. “Absolutely nothing.”

“Then why’d you need me there?” Donghyuck asks again. You know he’s teasing you now, poking until he gets the answer he wants to hear. And you’re not about to deny Donghyuck of that. Besides, nothing is more satisfying than knowing you could make Donghyuck feel flustered despite of his strong, wild persona. So, you reach up and kiss him on the chin and hug him closer.

“Because nothing is as bad as it seems when you’re around, my love.”

Donghyuck begins to pull away, making you hold onto him tighter, as if your hands would grow cold without touching him. Donghyuck only laughs, allowing you to hug him longer, and you wonder if you could stretch this night out for as long as he can.

The moment passes by quickly.

“Donghyuck, will you at least listen to me?”

“I’m done, Y/N.”

Renjun announces he’s done cleaning up.

Jaemin doesn’t waste a single second, getting up from his space on the other couch and announces it’s time they really catch up with everyone. It turns out that Jimin herself just got back from Germany yesterday as well, while Minjeong took a week off from work, and all had waited for you to come home before gathering in Chenle’s place.

“Mark’s a piece of shit, just like you,” Jeno comments when asked why the older didn’t take the earliest flight. Apparently, like yourself, Mark couldn’t get a couple of weeks off from work, hence he’d decided to travel a few days before the wedding, which is essentially why you all had a reason to gather once again after all these years.

“Why are you all harassing me and Mark for not being able to take a longer leave from work?” you whine, throwing a cushion towards where Jeno is seated, right beside Jimin. “It’s not like we can help it!”

Minjeong snorts, “You could’ve said you have COVID or something.”

You snicker. “Only you could think of that, Minjeong-ah.”

Jeno talks about his recent flight to Yonagunijima in Okinawa for a business trip. Renjun tells him he’s never gone that far in Japan, his farthest trip being in Osaka; Jeno says he can take him there anytime he gets some free time from work. Jaemin hypes up Jisung’s newly built dance studio and the contract he’d just signed with the biggest entertainment company in Asia, to which Jisung only downplays and says it’s not that big of deal.

You and Donghyuck stay quiet while everyone else talks over one another. He sits at the other end of the same couch you’re sitting on while Jisung occupies the space between you and him. Renjun probably feels the tension, so he cuts it.

“Donghyuck, what have you been up to?” Renjun asks, reaching over for a piece of chocolate you’d stolen from Chenle’s fridge.

Donghyuck shrugs. “Renjun-ah, don’t act like we don’t see each other every weekend.”

Renjun scoffs. “We’re here to catch up. Do you want me to tell them what you’ve been up to myself?”

Donghyuck throws a cushion and misses. “Nothing’s new about me, guys. Nothing that’s interesting enough.” Then, he leans forward and turns to you. “Maybe Y/N has anything to say. I mean, she’s the one who’s been away the longest.”

It takes you aback, the interaction unexpected, and gets you stuttering. “I’m—There’s really nothing, I mean.”

Donghyuck laughs lightly. “Loosen up. You look like you’d rather be elsewhere but here.”

“It’s not like that,” you defend. “It’s just—jetlag.”

“Of course,” Donghyuck nods. “How long was the flight?”

“Twelve hours,” you answer. Renjun does his best, distracting everyone else with a new conversation so you and Donghyuck, you assume, would feel more comfortable rather than have everyone listen to you talking with the person you used to know the best. Jisung tries to subtly leave, pretending like he needs to go to the restroom, and you know it’s a tactic because you also know Jisung like the back of your hand.

Donghyuck immediately moves closer, taking the space Jisung used to sit on, the distance pulling the air out of your lungs.

“And my flight was delayed for a couple of hours because of a storm,” you continue, clearing your voice. “So, fourteen hours in total, plus one hour from Incheon to Gangnam.”

Donghyuck nods. “Well, you fly frequently.”

You nod back. “Not that frequently anymore. Since the pandemic, I’ve been working from home a lot; there was no need to travel after all. Or move to a different country. It turns out we can do everything virtually.”

Donghyuck chuckles, almost sarcastically. “What a shame that the entire world realized suddenly that everything could work virtually.”

You smile, sadly almost. “Yeah. What a shame.”

“I didn’t get the whole thing,” Jisung sighs. “What a shame. The last parts were the best.”

“You know Chenle’s going to kill you if he finds out you took a video, right?”

Jisung nods proudly. “That was the point.”

“Lia, wait,” Donghyuck’s voice echoes—not loud enough to catch anyone else’s attention, but definitely enough for you. You watch him follow Lia out.

You decide you’ve had enough. The wedding’s done now, anyway. There’s nothing left for you here.

Jisung looks at you. “Y/N.”

“Just need some space, Jisung,” you say. “I’m okay.”

“You’re lying,” You gasp, almost dropping your iPad upon Donghyuck’s revelation. “Holy shit, Donghyuck, that’s huge!”

“Never thought I’d hear that in another context but thanks, my love,” Donghyuck replies, a proud smile etched on his mouth. He reaches over and shows you a piece of paper, the confirmation of his participation in a convention in Shanghai a couple of weeks from now.

“Wait until Jaemin hears this,” You ramble, already on his phone to text said friend about the good news. “He’s going to throw a party for you.”

“You guys are too proud of me,” Donghyuck whines. “What if I end up being such a flop outside my comfort zone? There are going to be so many amazing artists out there. I heard some vocal majors from Konkuk are attending the conference with me, and I am already terrified of them. I can't imagine myself once I'm surrounded by even more talented and more intimidating singers."

You put down your tablet on your desk, sighing as you step closer towards Donghyuck. You’re in the apartment you share with Jimin, and Donghyuck called in earlier to tell you he’s got some great news. Neither of you really have much time to meet these days, with your internship at Seoul's biggest web developer company and the drastic changes in Donghyuck's schedule, it's a little too difficult to hang out in the safety of your apartment.

Donghyuck is evidently taken aback when you suddenly wrap an arm around his neck, tumbling when you pull him closer and kisses the air out of his lungs. You regret closing your eyes when your lips touch, thinking about the way Donghyuck looks like whenever you kiss him like this. Like Donghyuck's all you’ve ever needed. Like all the years of pining and hurting are expressed in a single kiss. Like it's everything you’ve always wanted and more.

It's not the first time you kiss—you’ve lost count you made out in the back of Jeno’s car two months ago while all your friends are drunk and out of their minds—but it always feels like it is.

Donghyuck's lips are soft, soft, soft, and you can never get enough of the kissing him. The first, featherlight, a little hesitant touch of your lips would be your second favorite part (the favorite is when Donghyuck's licking your mouth and nibbles on your lower lip), and his hands, his delicate hands would always be in your hair, pulling and pressing and touching.

It's perfect. Donghyuck pulls you down with him on your very own bed, letting you sit on his lap.

He's kissing you everywhere, your lips, your cheeks, your nose, your neck, your jaw, but he stops when you begin to unbutton his shirt. You look down on him, confused and eager and dazed, and usually, Donghyuck would give in without a single fight, but this time he stops you.

"What are we doing, Y/N?" Donghyuck lets out, like he's been holding this breath forever and now he's finally exhaling it.

"We're," you start, confused why he’s asking all of a sudden, but you don’t really have an answer to that. "We're—”

"Messing around. Having fun while we can," Donghyuck finishes, quoting your own words the first time you hooked up. "I know. But that was before, right? What about now? What are we doing now?"

Your hands drop on Donghyuck's side. Donghyuck quickly takes both of them in his, giving you a comforting squeeze, as if he's encouraging you to say something. To be brave. To let go.

"We can't go on like this if you don't answer me, Y/N," Donghyuck says softly. "I know what I want, and you know that it's you. Just you. From the beginning. As long as I live. And you are making me happy right now. But I need to know if this is what you want, too."

"Love, I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't want you," you explain, eyes wavering.

"Y/N, listen to me," Donghyuck urges, letting go of one of your hands to hold your face so you could look into each other's eyes. "Tell me now. Tell me now, honestly, if this is something you would want in the long run."

"Donghyuck," You sigh, like you’re begging for Donghyuck to stop asking. But Donghyuck doesn't let his guard down. He keeps his hands on you, waiting.

You want nobody else but Donghyuck, too. From the beginning. For as long as you live. And Donghyuck is making you happy, and you know well that Donghyuck will make you happy in the long run. The last two months of whatever game you’re playing had been fun. There was no agreement on being exclusive, no rules of some sort, and it all fell into place like you and him are supposed to end up like this. You hadn’t put a label on it, but you and Donghyuck are best friends for many years now. You went through growing pains together, survived each one of the flights you frequently took around the world, went to the same college together, and you don’t really see the point of rushing for a label now.

Because you have other things in mind other than what you feel right now. You have codes to master and board directors to impress. Donghyuck has auditions to pass and flights to catch as well, and now, an opportunity in Shanghai. Not to mention you’re both cramming to have the best credentials to get you the best job after graduation. Now is not really the best time.

So, just like many happenstances in your life, you come up with a stupid, stupid answer.

"I—I don't know, Donghyuck," you say nervously. "I mean, you're clearly making me happy. And I don't plan on seeing anyone else, but I haven't really gotten around to think about it."

Donghyuck takes his touch away all of a sudden. You reach out to hold his hands in place back to your face, but he lets go.

"Think about it?" Donghyuck asks, voice shaking. "What is there to think about? It's a simple question, Y/N. Do you want me for a long time or am I just some good fuck for you?"

"Donghyuck, why are you saying that?" you retort, angry now. "I just said you make me happy. And I'm not playing with you. I just—it's—with all the things going on in my life and yours, a relationship is not something I can maintain right now."

"Maintain?" Donghyuck chuckles, pulling his hands away, gently pushing you off his lap and standing away from your bed to put some space between you and him. "Y/N, we've been best friends since we were in high school. Literally nothing has changed for us except we kiss and fuck now. What is there to think about? I really do not understand."

You sigh. The sound of it makes Donghyuck pull away further until he’s picking up his backpack.

"Donghyuck, wait," You say, but Donghyuck is already out of his room, barefoot, his shoes in his hands.

Barefoot, his shoes in one hand, two bottles of beer on the other, Donghyuck finds you by the pool outside the wedding reception. He sits beside you and mimics the way you rolled the bottom of your dress up to your thighs so it doesn’t get wet and does the same with his expensive trousers.

“What are you doing out here?” you muse, eyes staring blankly at the way your feet look blurred out underwater. “Shouldn’t you be inside getting drunk and having the time of your life?”

Donghyuck chuckles, his cheeks painted like cherries, mouth glazed like strawberries, and hands you the cold bottle of beer. “I’m already drunk. Do you think I’d have the courage to come find you here if I was sober?”

You nod, taking the bottle from his hand. “Good point. Fun party?”

“Jaemin and Jeno never fail to organize the best party,” he stammers. “They used to invite everyone in their shared apartment to play the American games they learned from Johnny-hyung. I can’t believe they’re married now.”

Jaemin and Jeno, the very reason why all of you gathered after all these years, have always been destined for each other, and you know this because you’d seen them start off as nothing and watched them turn to everything. Their wedding had been the sole reason why you’d returned to Seoul.

“I always knew they’d end up together,” you mutter, drinking from the cold bottle. “I used to manifest it. I said it all the time I saw them together.”

Donghyuck giggles. “You used to believe in the law of attraction so much. You manifested everything that’s happened in your life.”

“I did, didn’t I?” you reply, tasting the bitterness coming from the drink, a reminder why you prefer any other drink aside from beer.

It’s quite for a minute until Donghyuck talks.

“Why didn’t you manifest us?” he says suddenly, words a little grumbled. He’s probably had too much to drink already. You hold onto him naturally as his head starts swaying until his head is leaning against your shoulder, close enough to hear each other breathing. “Y/N, why did you never say we’d end up together like this, too? You were so damn good with this law of attraction bullshit. You could’ve manifested our wedding, too.”

Donghyuck is drunk, and drunk Donghyuck is always vulnerable. His tone of voice is enough for you to decide to cut this trip shorter than it already is. A week, you had promised Jeno and Jaemin, you’d leave two days after the wedding. But at this moment, when you’re frozen in place, Donghyuck’s warmth touching your coldness, you begin to ponder if it had been a good idea to come back in Seoul at all.

You love Jeno and Jaemin and would do anything for them in a heartbeat. Therefore, when the couple announced their engagement two months ago, it had been a quick, solid yes, of course, I’ll be there because you wouldn’t miss their wedding for the world, even if it had been exactly four years and two months since the last time you’d breathed the air of Seoul and that you’d rather die than be in a 12-hour flight, you swore you’d be with your friends during such a huge chapter of their lives.

Your schedules were immediately reconstructed, a ticket to Seoul safely tucked in the files in your desk’s drawer, and all your friends from London were already asking you to bring something back from Seoul when your trip is over. It was all set, with the promise of checking in with your teammates from work during your one-week leave, and it was the easiest itinerary you’d ever made. What you failed to prepare, truly, is yourself.

Somehow, you knew this would happen. You knew coming back would mean seeing Donghyuck. And seeing Donghyuck means opening wounds you’re not certain have healed and resuming conversations you’d never wanted to go back to. And this means, at any given time Donghyuck is within your space, you’d be a goner.

Because four years, it turns out, isn’t enough to get over him.

Quite funny, if you think about it now, how after all these years, you’re still orbiting around him.

You clear your throat, no words coming out, and Donghyuck starts to fall asleep against your shoulder.

Your right shoulder feels sore after falling asleep on your side on Chenle’s couch the morning after Jaemin and Jeno’s bachelor party. It was crazy, to say the least, and you’d decided to drink your guts to in hopes of not remembering anything in the morning. It sucks because you’re stupidly hungover and you remember everything.

The group was divided into two. You, Renjun, Donghyuck, and Minjeong were in charge of Jaemin in the other side of the city, courtesy of Jung Jaehyun for sponsoring and personally planning the grand party for his favorite dongsaeng. Meanwhile, Jisung, Chenle, Mark, and Jimin had planned Jeno’s very own party, along with Lee Taeyong who funded the event.

If you’re being completely honest, you’d think that after college, your friends would lose their sparks in setting up amazing parties, but last night proved you wrong.

The alcohol was disgusting, but you like that it made Renjun do things he wouldn’t do sober. Jaemin refused to get shit-faced drunk because his wedding is in two days, his hangovers usually last an entire day—he doesn’t want to show up at his own wedding looking like a zombie. Minjeong, well, she’s Minjeong, so she was just all over the place, nagging and getting drunk. She’s also a snob who thinks so highly of herself despite being the youngest in the group and liked to look down on her older friends all while attempting to stand upright after downing five shots of tequila.

Donghyuck, however, decided to bring his new girlfriend. Her name is Lia. And the only goal last night was to stay as far away as possible.

You knew that the relationship was new because Jisung filled you in before you had all parted ways for the parties, said that Donghyuck started dating her two months ago right around the time Jaemin and Jeno got engaged, Jimin being their bridge because Lia and Jimin have been friends since last year. Apparently, Lia’s been interested with him for years now; she just never had the chance because like you, Donghyuck also disappeared in and out from Seoul for a couple of years until he’d decided to stay here for good two years ago.

You can’t remember how many shots you had and how many cocktails were handed to you last night, but you wish you had more because it was evidently not enough to erase the scenarios from last night. It wasn’t enough to blur out the memories of Donghyuck holding her, kissing her, dancing with her, and just all out being a lovey-dovey boyfriend.

It’s a relief that you got home safely. There was no designated driver because the plan was to really get drunk, so Jaehyun had one of his employees drive everyone to Chenle’s penthouse because it’s the closest. You hope the others returned to Jeno’s place safely, too.

You stay still from where you’re lying down, eyes up on the ceiling, wondering what time it is. There was no plan for today aside from wedding rehearsal at six in the evening to make sure everything’s all set for tomorrow, so you reckon you have the entire day to get rid of your hangover.

You roll over to your side, facing the television, and the clock tells you it’s eleven in the morning. Renjun is snoring away from the other couch, and you remember letting Minjeong sleep on your bed for the night. You’re staring at Renjun’s sleeping form when someone on the carpeted floor suddenly rolls over, allowing you to see their face.

Donghyuck’s sleeping on the floor beside the couch, body parallel to yours so you can see his peaceful sleeping face, mouth slightly agape. He’s now sleeping on his back, head supported by one of the cushions, body covered with his jacket from last night. You remember parting ways with him with him last night. He’d taken a taxi with Lia back to her place while the rest of you went home in Jaehyun’s SUV. You don’t remember him coming back here.

You stare at him for as long as you can, because in the last three days in Seoul, you’d never really gotten the chance to get a good look on him. You and him don’t follow each other from any social media, so the last four years had truly been radio silence from both sides. Donghyuck, at 27, doesn’t look like he’s aged that much, albeit his round cheeks being gone, replaced by prominent cheekbones. It looks like he never bothered to get rid of the constellations forming on his face and neck, too, because they’re still here, just like many things that haven’t changed. Donghyuck used to love dyeing his hair crazy colors, now his hair is just colored naturally. His lips, wonder if they still taste the same.

“He’s going to melt,” Renjun says suddenly, you plop your head back to the couch, guilty for staring too long. Renjun sits up, stretching and laughing at your misery. “And you’re going to have a heart attack if you keep sneaking glances and getting caught. How many times has Jisung caught you in the last 72 hours?”

“Shut up,” you mumble, getting up and stretching as well. “What do you want to eat for breakfast?”

You carefully get off from the couch, making sure you don’t topple on Donghyuck’s sleeping body, draping the blanket over his body, walking towards Chenle’s fancy kitchen. Renjun helps you, rummaging through the fridge, and comes up with a breakfast menu with whatever you had in the kitchen.

Donghyuck wakes up before you and Renjun could finish cooking everything. He’s quiet when he approaches you in the kitchen, softly asking if you could make coffee for him. You don’t say no, of course.

“This is the most disgusting cup of coffee, I’ve had my entire life,” Donghyuck complains, leaning over the counter where you’re working on the opposite side of. “Stop jeopardizing the café’s reputation. You’re not some scientist so stop mixing concoctions from hell just to brag that you’re a part-time barista and a full-time college student. You make me sick. Literally.”

You ignore all of it, of course, eyebrows furrowed as you take another sip of the quote and quote disgusting coffee, trying to figure out what went wrong this time.

“I think it needs a bit more vanilla,” you think out loud.

“I will not join you in this stupid crusade of making your own “Barista’s Special” recipe,” he continues. “And I will tell your manager you’re wasting coffee!”

“Aha!” you exclaim when you think you got it right. “Maybe I need to level the grounds better and add another pump of vanilla. Let me try that. It should taste better.”

Donghyuck chuckles as you move around and attempt to make another cup. “You’ve been saying it should taste better since last week.”

He keeps complaining, but takes the new cup of coffee as soon as you’re done.

Donghyuck drinks.

You wait.

It still tastes disgusting.

“It’s sweet,” Donghyuck comments when he drinks it. You tilt your head. Renjun is finishing up on the scrambled eggs. You hear Minjeong come out of your room.

“Is that a bad thing?” you ask, hopeful.

Donghyuck shakes his head, chuckling. “Better than the ones you made when we were in university.”

“Hey!” you laugh. “I was awarded employee of the month once!”

“That doesn’t erase the fact that you forced me to drink your disgusting concoctions for three weeks straight,” he states, making you laugh even more. “I guess, all these years you’d learned what you were missing.”

“I’ll miss you,” you mumble against Donghyuck’s chest. “The internship will just be for a few months. I’ll be back before you know it.”

Donghyuck kisses the top of your head. “When you come back,” he mutters. “When you come back, I’ll ask you to be my girlfriend.”

You freeze.

“And you’ll say yes. And we’ll graduate together and make a life for both of us.”

You pull away a little so that you’re looking at him face to face. Donghyuck has tears threatening to fall from his eyes. You wipe it off with the sleeves of his jacket you’re wearing.

“I’ll say yes,” you promise. “And we’ll graduate together and make a life for both of us.”

A woman’s voice announces your flight number once again and says the gates are closing in five minutes. Donghyuck kisses you in the mouth—a promise—and tells you he loves you.

“Oh, Donghyuck,” you say. “I love you, too.”

“Come back home to me, yeah?”

“I will.”

Yours and Donghyuck’s favorite restaurant was located two blocks away from his parents’ home. It closed a few years ago when its owner passed away and his children were too heartbroken to keep the business running. It was a staple from your entire high school life, and if you could say it, it defined your standards when it comes to food.

You’d just gotten a call from home that your childhood pet had to be put down because of old age and many diseases, and you called in sick for work—thank God, Johnny was willing to cover for you otherwise the manager would’ve rejected your request to stay at home for the day—and you’re truly not in the mood for anything at all.

You haven’t been home for quite sometime now, the last time being the holidays and you normally just spend a couple of days before heading back to the campus, so everything really sucks. You didn’t even get the chance to say goodbye.

Donghyuck hears this from Jimin, of course, because your roommate called him as soon as she heard you crying from your room. He literally carries you out of your room, says grieving is better when there’s food.

As soon as you see the person standing behind the counter, you recognize the place right away. Although located in a different street now, nearby where you are, the place looks exactly the same from when it did years ago.

“Y/N! Donghyuckie!” the lady behind the counter greets.

“Oh my,” you squeal. “Auntie, I didn’t know you’re back in business! How long has it been?”

The new owner, the late owner’s eldest daughter, smiles at you and tells you they re-opened sometime this year. She tells you to find a seat and confirms she knew your order by heart.

Donghyuck sits across you. “You like it?”

“Why did you not take me here sooner?”

He smiles. “Supposedly on your birthday a couple of weeks from now. But with what happened today, I guess this is the best time.”

“You’re the best.”

It’s Jisung and Chenle who find you and Donghyuck by the pool area hours later. Donghyuck had completely fallen asleep on your shoulder. The younger ones help you and practically carry Donghyuck towards the car.

Jaemin and Jeno have left the venue so they could prepare for their flight the next day. You hadn’t paid much attention to the time when Donghyuck drunkenly approached you. Jisung tells you it’s already two in the morning.

Chenle tells you Donghyuck had broken up with Lia—the reason, he’s uncertain—which is why she stormed off from the reception and Donghyuck decided to drink his ass off while you were wandering around the place. You shrug, acknowledging the news like it doesn’t make your heart race, like it doesn’t give you some sort of hope you didn’t know you had stored, and tell them they should take him home.

Jisung says Donghyuck lives on the other side of the city, so it’s best you all head back to Chenle’s.

Jisung and Chenle share the latter’s bed, and you’re not going to let Donghyuck sleep on the couch after he had complained about his back hurting when he’d fallen asleep on the floor the other day, so it’s only right that you let Jisung and Chenle carry him to your bed.

When you wake up on the couch the next day, Donghyuck’s shoes are no longer by the doorsteps.

His footsteps are loud.

“Donghyuck, this isn’t going to work if you don’t fucking give me a chance to explain!” You scream a few feet behind Donghyuck.

Donghyuck is running away, and you’re beginning to think that convincing him to go to the gym might not have been the greatest decision because Donghyuck is literally sprinting, like he’s being chased by something so terrifying.

You almost stop. Donghyuck, who always called him home, never ran away from you all these years. Not, it looks like he’d rather be anywhere but where you. Nothing feels worse than that.

You’d just gotten back from your internship in the US, one more term and you’re graduating. The internship was easily the best thing that’s happened to you this year. They were already thinking of offering you a contract as soon as you graduate. They let you go back home, of course, to complete your degree, and said they’d be willing to keep training you in the states and have you relocate to Europe once you graduate because they’ll be expanding their business out there.

It's also the night of Donghyuck's first showcase, the first show he's headlining along with musicians and artists from different universities. You had promised Donghyuck you’d watch and support him, but things doesn't always go on your favor, because as soon as you’d landed, you were needed back to the campus for an interview for the university’s publishing team because they wanted you to talk about your experience alongside the others who went to the states to complete their internship. It was supposed to be an hour session, but you and everyone in the panel liked the questions they were asking, and somehow you felt like this was a sign that the company in the US could lead to better, brighter things for you.

Hence, you were late. Halfway through the show. Donghyuck got mad, but promised he understood. He asked for some space, at least for the rest of the night. But you wanted to apologize properly, to take him out for dinner even if it's already past midnight, and insisted that you should talk about it. Donghyuck refused, you kept insisting, until the former said something about you being a shitty girlfriend.

It’s a shitty excuse, but you were absolutely fucking tired. You’re still jetlagged from the 16-hour difference, and the entire session with your fellow interns took two hours of your day.

What you had left for the day was so little, and you chose to spend it with Donghyuck, but he decided to be an ass about it.

"I never said anything about being your girlfriend," was your dumb reply, which is why you’re now running after him from the building of Chenle’s condominium.

You pull Donghyuck with force as soon as you catch up with him, and you’re faced with your worst fear.

Donghyuck is crying. He’s never cried before, not because of you. A deep painful breath comes out of your mouth, and it hurts when you breathe, like inhaling a cloud of smoke or being hit by a ball in the back. Donghyuck keeps crying, doesn’t even hide it. He sobs and heaves and he doesn’t wipe his tears.

"Donghyuck, can you just—”

“I’m tired,” Donghyuck sobs. “Y/N, I’m so tired. I sound pathetic and I’m not sure if I’m exhausted from the performance or I’m just done with you.”

“I’m sorry,” is all what you could come up with.

“This,” Donghyuck says, gesturing the small space between you. “I don’t think it’s worth all of the pain I am feeling right now, Y/N. You’re my best friend. I—I, fuck, I used to think that maybe someday this will all be worth it, but I am tired of waiting for that day. I am drained and you have consumed all of me. I waited for you, and I keep waiting until you finally just—let go and decide you want to be with me and stop playing this never-ending game of friends with benefits bullshit we started. I’m done. What else do you want from me?”

“I—I… Donghyuck,” you stutter. I want you to give me a chance. I want you to give me more time to figure some things out myself. I want you to wait a little longer.

"I rejected Ryujin a week before you came home,” Donghyuck confesses. "When you were in the states, and you suddenly changed your mind about being my girlfriend and told me I should go out and date other people and that I shouldn’t hold myself back, I was angry. I didn’t understand why you were pushing me away so much when I’m here!”

You stay still, crying.

“I’m here,” he repeats. “I’m here and I love you, and I’ve never asked anything in return. And you tell me you love me, but you do things that—that hurt me. Every time I think we’re finally going somewhere, you—you push back and I’m just—I’m sick of it. And Jaemin said I should just move on if you can’t make up your mind because I don’t know if you haven’t realized it but Y/N, we’ve been at it for years.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Jeno and Jaemin set me up with Ryujin,” he continues. “We went to a couple of dates. And then you called me saying you’re coming back home. So, I broke it off before we even got started. I told her it would be unfair if I kept leading her on when I know that I am still ridiculously in love with you. She said it would be alright and that she's giving me all the time and space I need to think about things."

Donghyuck curses and continues, "But I didn't need time and space, Y/N. Because I already knew that all I've ever wanted was you. I didn't need to think. I only needed you."

You don’t know what to say. You’re still holding him by his arm.

“If you're not going to say anything, let me go,” Donghyuck sternly says. You have a feeling it’s not the grip on his arm that Donghyuck is talking about. “Please.”

The single biggest mistake of your life happened on the third street from Chenle’s place, under the broken streetlight, across the ice cream parlor Donghyuck used to work at when he was seventeen.

You let him go. Donghyuck stops waiting.

The wait from the audience was long enough.

They say your graduation day is going to be one of the happiest moments in your life. It’s not. Not at all.

Not when you’d gotten your diploma on stage and Donghyuck shows you he doesn’t give a fuck by looking everywhere else. Not when it’s picture taking time with your friends and families and he decides to stand on the other side, far, far away from you. Not when his parents ask him to take a picture with you and he shrugs it off and says he’s hungry and that he’s meeting everyone at the restaurant, leaving with his entire family.

Renjun whispers, “Does he even know you’re leaving first thing in the morning?”

You shrug it off, too. “Looks like he has other things to care about.”

Jaemin sighs. “You’re not serious about this, are you? You and Donghyuck better pull your shit together. Both of you already ruined the moment for everyone.”

Renjun eyes him. “It’s not your fault, Y/N. If Donghyuck doesn’t want to listen, then so be it.”

“It’s not Donghyuck’s fault either,” Jaemin defends. “Because he’s been trying to get answers and you wouldn’t give it to him. So, I don’t think it’s his fault that he’s done.”

“We’re not picking sides here, Jaemin,” Jeno says. “Let’s go.”

Jeno and Jaemin sandwiches you in a tight hug.

The next day after the wedding, in the afternoon, the newlyweds are bound to France for their honeymoon. They’re traveling the continent for two weeks (unfortunately, London excluded from their itinerary), and all of you decided to drop them off as if they’re leaving for years. In your case, this may be the last time you’re seeing them for a long time.

“I love you,” Jaemin says as the two very strong and buff men hug you. “I know things have been tough and coming back here took a lot from you, but thank you for making sure you were present during the wedding.”

“I hope this isn’t the last time in another four years that we’d see you in person,” Jeno adds. “We miss you, you know? Please come visit us when you have time.”

“I love you two so much,” you cry, emotional with the way they’re holding you. “Go have fun.”

They bid their goodbyes to everyone else and enter the airport.

“If I don’t get the same treatment when I leave, I’m ghosting everyone,” Mark announces. Jisung laughs. “What? You all acted like they’re going away for two years. They’re coming back in literally and exactly two weeks!”

“Go be unhappy somewhere, hyung,” Donghyuck teases, making everyone laugh as you all walk back to where their cars are parked.

Chenle needs to go back to work, so did Jimin and Jisung, hence they ride all together. Minjeong’s visiting a friend, so she’s riding with Mark and Renjun because they’re all going to the same side of the city. Which means, Donghyuck is driving you back to Chenle’s place.

“Your flight is tomorrow, too, right?” Mark asks. You hum, nodding. “Come visit me in Vancouver sometime soon, too. Or I’ll fly to London.”

“Wow, you have a lot of money to spend on flying around the world multiple times, huh?” you tease.

“Hey, you’re the frequent flyer here,” he comments. “Wonder how many miles you’ve earned and redeemed from all this flying you’ve done in this lifetime.”

You laugh. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Mark.”

Renjun and the others bid you goodbye. You’re not really certain why you and Donghyuck silently agreed to watch your friends leave, you and him standing a foot away from each other as they all drive away. For some reason, it feels like the last time.

The first time it happened, you and Donghyuck decide it’s an accident.

You were drunk, and it had been a while for the two of you considering how busy you both have been because of finals coming up. It was convenient, if you say so yourself, to have your best friend right beside you when you were feeling hot and horny. The morning after was settled with a kiss on your forehead—no apologies as discussed, because neither you nor him regretted it anyway, but there’s a promise that nothing changes.

The second time it happened, you and Donghyuck decide it’s not going to be a one-time thing.

“So, to make it clear,” you huff as you quickly get rid of your pants while Donghyuck pulls his shirt off. “This isn’t a one-time thing.”

“I don’t see an issue if it’s not,” he replies, unbuckling his belt and pulling his pants down, pushing you against the wall and kissing you down your neck. “Besides, we’re best friends.”

You lean your head against the wall, thinking if it’s too late to back out, but Donghyuck’s already has his hands all over you—one on your breast and the other on your waist. It’s not really that bad of an idea. Donghyuck is your best friend, and your friendship has withstood time, distance, growing pains, and mostly everything. And perhaps it’s the way you haven’t stopped thinking about your first time together that’s making you feel so, so vulnerable under his touch, but it’s not like anything’s changed since that night. In fact, if you’re being completely honest, it made you feel like you and Donghyuck know each other better now—in ways that other pairs like you don’t.

Hence, whatever thought you had a minute ago, you throw it down the drain and you let Donghyuck (messily, heartedly giggling) carry you by hoisting you up and wrapping your legs around his waist and bring you back to his unmade bed.

Donghyuck knows how to use his tongue, and you’ve kind of always known because all the girls he’s ever slept with talk about him like he’s a god of tongue or something. Donghyuck licks your lips before diving in, as if he’s giving you a taste of what you’re about to have, and he pushes his tongue in, massaging it with yours, and it almost feels like he’s teaching you how to use the muscle in your mouth. You realize how much he likes kissing, because he kisses more than he touches. He kisses you for what felt like hours, and you’re not about to complain about it.

You let him gently drop you on his bed. His warm palms caressing its way from your waist down to the side of your thighs where he knows you like being touched the most (and you’re not certain whether he’d learned this from stories or from the time you and him had sex); Donghyuck keeps his mouth on you as he rubs circles against your hot skin.

The finger he slips between your underwear and right above your clit sends you shivers down your spine. He allows you to catch your breath for a second, moving his mouth from your lips down to your neck, but doesn’t give you enough time to recover because he rubs your clit oh, so gently.

“We’re best friends,” he repeats, murmuring the words against the skin on your neck. “Nothing changes, except now I know where to touch you.”

He does. He touches you everywhere and slips his middle finger in your hole, sighing against your skin when he feels how wet you’ve gotten simply from kissing.

“You’ve always been such a good girl for me,” he whispers, keeping his finger inside, his palm pressed against your clit. “Such a good girl. Wet and ready for me. You really are my best friend.”

“Donghyuck,” you whine. He starts rubbing from inside, moving a single finger in an upward motion, eliciting a moan from you.

“What?” he asks innocently. “You are. You are my best friend. I don’t think everyone can say they let their best friends fuck them when they’re horny. Which makes me the best best friend, too. Because I fuck the brains out of you when you’re horny. Aren’t we the best team the world has ever seen?”

Donghyuck slips another finger in—easily, because nothing can describe how we you are now. He tongues the skin on your collarbone, licking and tasting and smirking all throughout, then he fingers you properly. At this point, your underwear’s stretched from one thigh to the other.

Donghyuck likes to tease you, and you know this because he massages the inside of your hole in a swift upward motion before pulling his fingers out and slowly filling you again. He does this slowly, then fast, then slowly once again. The explicit sound of your wetness makes him chuckle, leaving your collarbones and using his other hand to pull the left cup of your bra down and goes in. He bites and nips and licks and sucks your breast while he fingers you stupid—legs apart, shamelessly wet and fucking ready for him—and you take everything he gives you.

He doesn’t make you cum though, because Donghyuck is Donghyuck. Nobody is more cunning than him.

But he doesn’t make you wait. As soon as he feels you’re about to cum, he slips his fingers out and rids himself off his own underwear, then slipping the last two pieces barely hanging on your body.

He fucks you dumb. Raw. All his glory and skin. You have no other words aside from that.

He doesn’t wait because there’s truly no need to adjust with how wet and ready you fucking are. He’s big, but Donghyuck knows how to fuck well. He knows how to prevent discomfort and he’s done a very good job at proving that to you.

He fucks you missionary, and usually, this isn’t something you’d opt for. You like being fucked hard with no sense of affection and all that bullshit when you’re stressed and in need of some kind of relief. But with Donghyuck, it’s heavenly despite how sinful his hips snap.

He fucks you. Again and again. He makes you cum twice before he pulls out and spills himself on your stomach.

He kisses you, giggles at the way you’re dumbfounded, cleans you up, and lets you sleep on his bed as though nothing has changed.

Because nothing did. Nothing ever will.

“Funny how things have changed so much in the last four years, huh?” Donghyuck asks, eyes on the road.

Donghyuck’s said he’s driving you home. You haven’t been in Seoul in four years, but the route he’s taking is definitely not the way to Chenle’s.

“We’re taking the long way home,” he interjects when he realizes you’re looking at the GPS on his car’s tablet. “There’s, uh, heavy traffic on the usual way because of some road construction. And you’re going back tomorrow. You haven’t really gone around the city, so I figured it’d be a good time.”

You hum, looking at him with a small smile.

“Sure,” you buy. “It feels like only yesterday you were driving a beat-up Hyundai. Now, you’re all fancy.”

He chuckles, turning as his car speeds through the bridge. “Well, many things have changed since you left.”

Donghyuck looks beautiful like this: Seoul’s horizon running like a movie as he drives, smile soft, eyes bright.

“I’m sorry,” you brave up.

It takes you great courage to say it out loud. As best friends, you and Donghyuck had always said “thank you,” and “I love you” openly, and in countless of occasions, these words have healed scratches made around your friendship. Rarely you and him would ever say you’re sorry. The only time you can remember apologizing to him was the night, a few weeks before graduation when you’d just returned from the States after your internship. That sorry barely made up the wounds you’d caused.

At this age, you understand why saying sorry wasn’t normal for you and Donghyuck. You and him were inseparable. You were soulmates—are if you can bravely say it out loud. Your bond is stronger with him than anyone else, and you’d always believed that nothing could ever come between you and him. Like the decisions you’d made, nothing changed until something did. And when things changed, you and him had no idea what to do. Because as far as you can remember, you and Donghyuck remained constant, like a routine, a bible with a comprehensive and cohesive series of stories that’s never changed. So, when feelings got in between—denial and pining and confusion—neither of you had any idea how to handle it.

Donghyuck was bold and brave. You, on the other hand, had no ounce of courage to give it a try.

He only smiles. “A few years too late, don’t you think?”

You nod. “I know. Do you accept my apology?”

“If you buy me ice cream,” he answers.

“Done,” you say, smiling back at him. “I was scared.”

Donghyuck keeps his eyes on the road. “Of?”

“That I’d come back to Seoul and see you married with kids and all.”

“And what’s so scary about that?”

“Because it would mean I’d thrown away all the chances the universe has given me.”

Donghyuck looks ethereal like this: in a suit, smiling as he watches his bride walk down the aisle.

“Take care, yeah?” Renjun whispers as he hugs you.

Mark’s Dad and Mark himself are waiting for you outside. As most of your friends have gone home to their families after graduation, with the exception of Renjun and Jisung who spared some time today just to see you off, Mark volunteered (his dad) to drop you off the airport.

“I will,” you say, burying your face into his chest. “Any word from Donghyuck?”

Renjun pulls away and looks down. You know the answer.

“It’s okay,” you answer, mostly to yourself. “He’ll call me back soon. I’m sure.”

“I hope so,” Renjun mumbles.

The only call you get before you enter the gates is a drunken one. It’s Donghyuck.

“I hate you,” he grits through the device. “And I never want to see you again.”

“I didn’t want to come back,” you confess. Donghyuck keeps his hands on the steering wheel. “Because you’d said you never wanted to see me again.”

“And I sent you messages you never received,” Donghyuck says. It surprises you. “Because your Korean number was no longer active and you’d blocked me from everything at that time.”

You smile, wondering if you had a little bit more understanding—if you had waited a little before deactivating your old number, if you had given it some time—would you and Donghyuck end up together in the end? If Donghyuck hadn’t been drunk the night you left Seoul—if he’d taken a taxi before you boarded the plane, if he’d just said sorry back—would you and him have gotten into a relationship right away?

Regret, just like grief, makes you feel things like this. They make you wonder what could have happened, if it would’ve given you the same, awful outcome, or if it would take you to the happy ending you keep dreaming about.

“Funny how we had many things we couldn’t say despite us being best friends,” he comments. “And you agree that many things have changed in the last four years, right?”

You hum, looking out your window, watching the horizon blur in motion.

“Donghyuck-ah,” you whisper, eyes still on the moving horizon. “The only thing that hasn’t changed for me.”

“What?” he asks.

“You,” you say. “You’re the only one that hasn’t changed for me. You’re still sharp when you need to be, but gentle where people you love need you to be. You’re still beautiful like the day I had realized I loved you. It wasn’t shocking, though. That day. I wasn’t all too shocked that your newly-dyed pink hair was the eureka moment for me. Because I knew all along. It was more like a flick on the wrist rather than a surprise. Like it’s always been there. The pink hair was just a reminder.”

Donghyuck stays quiet.

“And I say this like I’m hoping I could go back to four years ago and try harder to apologize,” you continue, tears already brimming your eyes. “But I guess we needed this, Donghyuck. We needed to grow—sadly—apart. And I feel like, no, I know that I wouldn’t have gotten to know myself better if we didn’t grow apart.”

“Yeah,” he speaks for what seems like a long time. “We were—you were right all along. We couldn’t just risk it all for a relationship. I had offers left and right even before we’d graduated, and you.”

You look at him. Donghyuck’s eyes are carefully still on the road, but his gaze is soft, eyes shining from the tears welling up.

“You were made to see the world,” he says, and it breaks you like glass. “I wouldn’t have forgiven myself if I were the reason why you don’t have the life you have now. Because it wouldn’t have worked. I love you, and I just know that at that time, when we were young and all, I wouldn’t have let you go work abroad. The few months you spent in the state for a mere internship already shook our friendship in ways we didn’t expect. What more if we had been in a relationship?”

“Donghyuck,” you sniffle. “I love you. And it hurt. And I’m sorry it us this long. I’m sorry it took me this long.”

“Stop apologizing. Y/N, I would’ve let you go eventually,” he confesses. “Because I love you so much that I’d be willing to let you go if it meant you could soar.”

The sun sets in the horizon the next time you look out your window.

Donghyuck keeps one hand on the wheel and shows you the other, palm up.

You take it with courage.

And you. You look beautiful like this: dressed in white, smiling as you walk towards your groom. You best friend. Donghyuck.

507 notes · View notes

lowkeychenle · 1 year ago

Text

this is me trying [ZCL] (M)

Description: Meeting Chenle was a fluke--a good one, at that, but you never expected things to escalate the way they did. But despite the whirlwind romance, you'd go back to December if you had the chance...

A/N: this is inspired by both 'this is me trying' and 'Back to December' by Taylor Swift. This is a dual timeline-esque story so please make sure to pay attention to the dates and places named...

Genre: Fluff/Angst/Smut triple threat (more fluff and smut than angst I'd say)

Content Warnings: some sadness in regards to being emotionally unavailable, but nothing like....really bad. I don't think. Smut warnings: unprotected sex, dirty talk, some nipple play ig (if u squint), Chenle being down bad, some pet names like baby and pretty girl (or maybe it's just pretty i can't quite remember), and I think that's it! Lmk if I missed any :) oh and oral (m receiving i don't think f receiving is explicitly written m ybad)

Word Count: 10,179

Pairing: Zhong Chenle x Reader (feat. all dreamies)

Juliet's Masterlist | Requests

10:56pm, December 1st, 2022 | Your bedroom

You were scared at first—of the prospect of having a man in your bed for the first time in months. Maybe even an entire year at this point. You never thought going to a bar with a group of your friends would end up with you taking someone home, yet here you are, your body wedged between your mattress and a man.

He’s beautiful, with dark eyes, full lips, and midnight hair parted down the middle. Even as he looks down at you, his gaze is soft, like he knows this is a big deal for you despite only knowing you for an hour or two.

His mouth finds yours, a delicate melody spelled out with each second that passes. Oddly enough, you feel safe with him, a complete stranger. All you know is his name is Chenle, and that he’s got the gentlest hands you’ve ever felt on you.

He’s even more beautiful once your bodies are entangled. His face blissed out, fists clenching the sheets next to your head, length stretching you almost more than you can take. You spread your legs further, wanting him as deep as possible.

The moment is strangely intimate for two people who didn’t know of each other’s existence before this but, to you, it’s not weird. You’re enjoying it more than you should. You weave your fingers into his hair, rocking up to meet his hips with every thrust. Quiet, broken moans slip from both of you.

Three hours ago, he didn’t exist to you.

Now, you’re starting to think he’s the beginning. He’s the door opening to the next stage of your life, and you desperately want to grab hold and never let go.

That first night had your toes curling. He shifted, pulling your legs over his shoulders to bottom out deep inside you. Never before had you called out a man’s name you weren’t familiar with, but there’s a first for everything.

With his tip kissing your cervix over and over again, you start to shake. He leans forward until his chest brushes yours, the stretch in your legs uncomfortable but aiding in your pleasure, and he kisses you. You expect desperation, but instead you’re met with passion. Determination to make you feel good before him.

You call out his name against his lips, a short whine accompanying it. His hair clings to his forehead from sweat, his eyes glazed as he nods.

“Let go, (Y/N),” he whispers, grinding to put pressure on your clit.

You’ve had plenty of loud orgasms in your life—unable to hold back your moans as the other person roughly chases their own end. Even this is different with him. The pleasure is so intense, you’re incapable of those noises. Instead, you're gasping for air, holding onto him for dear life, and shuddering over and over as you clench and unclench around him. Your back arches, and he swallows all of your desperate, quiet sounds with another kiss. He thrusts two more times before his euphoria takes him.

The room around you is silent, but the two of you are panting, still holding onto each other like your life depends on it. He presses a kiss to your lips, on your jawline, down your neck until he places one last one in the center of your throat.

You don’t know him. Not really, but you want to.

God, you want to.

5:43pm, December 1st, 2023 | Something Brew Coffee Shop

“(Y/N), are you listening to me?” Chenle frowns at you from across the table. “Jaemin’s gonna kill everyone if we don’t have this planned by tomorrow.

“Yeah, I hear you.” You sigh and run your hands down your face before picking up your coffee. “Isn’t there someone else who could’ve done this? I’m busy.”

“You’re always busy,” he muses, arms folded on the wooden top as he leans forward slightly.

Busy. Yeah, you are. You work way too many days a week, sleep not enough hours a night, and still somehow have managed to keep your group of friends despite barely ever being able to see them.

“Sorry.” You run your fingers through your hair. “I’m sorry, Le.”

His eyebrows furrow, and for a moment, you wonder if he’s remembering how you were at this point last year. You’d never tell him that you remembered the time he approached you in the bar, but you knew.

You think about it, too. You think about it more than you should, but there’s no harm in doing something no one else knows about.

The memories of that night are practically engraved into your brain. In your entire life, no one had ever treated you so delicately. It made you want more, but ultimately, that was something you couldn’t have.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for.” He shrugs. “Maybe it wasn’t fair of Jaemin to ask this of you.”

“All Jaemin wants from me is the bare minimum,” you chime in.

“Sometimes it’s impossible to give even that.”

Your heart sinks in your chest, and you chuckle softly. “Yeah, tell him that when I get the wrong color tinsel.”

8:21am, December 2nd, 2022 | Your bedroom

Honestly, you weren’t sure what to expect when you woke up. The first half of you wanted him to be there so you could see if the connection was more than just a night, but the second half wanted him gone. You didn’t have the capacity for something real, not yet and not for a long time.

But you felt it with him. The realness and the lines of fate that bent to push you two together.

Yet, even then, you wake up alone.

The other side of the bed is mussed, and you sigh toward your ceiling at the recognition of it. You clutch the blanket to your chest, sitting up in an attempt to see if you could grab something to wear without standing up.

You frown at the sight of his T-shirt on the floor still. Everything else is gone except for that—he probably forgot it in his haste since he had a sweatshirt on last night as well. Chewing the inside of your cheek, you reach down and grab it, only briefly hesitating before pulling it over your head.

Disappointment weighs heavily on your chest, but as the hem of the fabric comes to a stop right below your butt, you forget about it. At least, with this thing, you have proof he’s real. An angel was in your bed last night, and even though you shouldn’t, infatuation tugs at your heartstrings.

With a short groan, you get out of bed and head into your kitchen to get some water. Your legs ache from the night before, but the feeling is so sweet, you enjoy the odd cadence to your walk because of it.

You grab a glass from the cabinet, fill it with water, and tilt it to your lips as you lean your back on the counter. A slip of paper on the island catches your eye, and with a subtle frown, you approach it.

Messy handwriting is scrawled on it, but you can read it all the same.

Sorry I left so quickly, I had to get to work

I really enjoyed last night. Call me when you get the chance?

-Chenle

His phone number is written below that, and despite the disappointment you’d felt about his disappearance, a warmth spreads through your body.

2:09pm, December 2nd, 2023 | Jaemin’s House

You always arrive at Jaemin’s early. He greets you with his usual hug, and the two of you sit on his couch while still attempting to devise a plan for how you’re organizing your friend group’s Christmas party. For years, there’s been games, Secret Santa, and just about every Christmas-themed movie ever created. You love it and your friends, and it’s the one time of year you’re actually able to enjoy time off.

“Well, Chenle made the number odd last year,” Jaemin mentions, pursing his lips at the thought. “But I think Mark wants to bring his girlfriend, so we should be back at an even number.”

“Oh, I’m glad they’re doing well.” You grin. “Mark deserves to have a good person in his life.”

“Yeah, he won’t shut up about her.” Jaemin snorts.

“Love is good,” you interject. “Be nice to him.”

“Honestly, I’m a little surprised.” He pauses, quirking an eyebrow at you.

“About what?”

“That nothing ever happened with you and Chenle.” He leans back and crosses his arms over his chest. “You guys had like…one month last year and then things were just…normal. Like he’d always been a part of our group and like neither of you had ever…you know.”

“He’s a good guy, Jaem.”

“I never said he wasn’t.” He holds his hands up in mock surrender. “I just wish you’d tell me what happened. We’re supposed to be friends.”

“I would tell you what happened if anything did happen.” You ignore the tugs you feel at your heart. Usually, you don’t lie to Jaemin. You wouldn’t tell him this side of the story if it wasn’t what you and Chenle had agreed to.

But, holy hell, do you remember all of it like it was yesterday. You thought you’d gotten over it, honestly, but ‘tis the damn season.

“Well, if anything, I’m glad you guys are friends. He’s cool. Nice addition to the group.” Jaemin nods approvingly, like it hasn’t been over a year since Chenle began participating in all your activities.

When you open your mouth to speak, you’re interrupted by the shrill tone of your phone. You and Jaemin look at the same time, and your face heats up as Chenle’s name flashes across the screen. Speak of the devil.

“I’m…gonna take that.” You launch up from your seat, grab your phone, and head into the kitchen to answer. Putting the device up to your ear, you say, “Hello?”

“Hey, are you home right now?” he asks.

“No, I’m actually at Jaemin’s.” You lean on the counter. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m okay. I just…Honestly, I drove by your place on my way home from work and…” he trails off, a short laugh escaping his lips. “I got a little nostalgic, I guess. Sorry, (Y/N), forget I called, okay?”

“Wait, Le.” You put your hand on your forehead. “It’s okay to feel that way. I…I have been, too. A little bit. I’m here to talk about it, if you want to.”

“I…”

“It’s okay. I’m the last person who can judge you.” You try to keep your voice down to avoid Jaemin listening in, if he’s not pressed up to the wall already.

“I’m glad you’re in my life in any capacity, you know? But it feels a little ridiculous to be nostalgic over one month of my life a year later.” He sighs. “And now that I’ve known you for that entire year, it makes me wonder what my life would be like without you and everyone you’ve brought into it. So…thank you.”

Tears prick your eyes, and you wish he’d say more. You wish he’d tell you all the things you know are true, but have never been verbalized. How your mind, heart, and body crave to be with him like you were last year, and how you know he feels the same way.

But you don’t blame him. How can you?

3:34pm, December 3rd, 2022 | Yeouido Park, Yeongdeungpo-gu, Seoul, South Korea

Chenle’s fingers intertwine with yours. Thankfully, the gloves you’re wearing hide the fact your palms are sweaty. You called him yesterday, and let him know he left his T-shirt. He laughed it off and let you know it’s okay because he planned on seeing you again—as long as that’s what you wanted.

You weren’t in the right mindset to entertain a relationship. Not in the slightest. But bundled up in winter gear with him and walking around a park has you more at ease than you ever thought it could.

Truth be told, he came back to get his shirt last night. That ended with him back in your bed, proving to you that your first night was, indeed, not a fluke.

“Do you want hot chocolate?” he asks.

Your face lights up as you nod. “Yes, please.”

You wait off to the side while he approaches the vendor, and soon enough, he returns with two steam hot cups. Grasping yours desperately, you smile as the two of you keep walking. In the spring, this park is beautiful. The trees blossom and the water glistens, but now everything is covered in snow and ice.

When he looks at you, fondness takes over every inch of his features. You loop your arm through his, stealing glances every now and then. The tip of his nose and his cheeks turn red in the frigid temperature, and you admire everything about him. The definition of his jaw, his strong cheekbones, and the sharpness to the brown in his eyes that shows off his wit before his mouth can.

“I gotta be honest,” you say, tapping the top of your cup. “I’ve never been here before.”

“What?” He stops completely, jaw dropping. “You’re joking.”

“‘Fraid not.” You scrunch your face up.

“I’ll have to bring you back here in the springtime. It’s absolutely beautiful.” He doesn’t realize what his words imply, but you do.

You clear your throat, hoping the cold hides the heat rising to your cheeks. “Chenle.”

He wets his lips, distracting himself by sipping his hot chocolate. “Fuck, that’s hot.” He grimaces and recoils.

“Chenle,” you say to him again, softer this time.

He gulps before he looks at you. “Yeah.”

“I…I’m getting cold. Should we head back?” You don’t want to bring down the mood you’re in, especially since you saw the shift in him when his name fell from your lips.

“Yeah, let’s get out of here.”

By the time he parks outside of your house, his car is warm enough that you’re starting to sweat beneath all your winter gear. He doesn’t say anything, he just stares at you. He blinks once, twice, three times.

“I need to be honest with you,” you tell him, blowing out a breath. “I’m…a mess, okay? I don’t want to hurt you or lead you on or anything because you are just…genuinely so amazing. But December is the only time of year that I have the time to think of myself, let alone everyone else, and I can’t…promise you anything when I know I can’t be good for you after this month.”

He stares forward at your building, pursing his lips. “(Y/N), I’ve only known you for three days.”

“I know. But I’m not an idiot, and I know where sex and walks in the park lead.” You fidget with your hands in your lap. “I want to continue, to keep doing whatever it is we’re doing, but I can’t do that if you’re not okay with us…leaving it in December.”

His gaze sweeps over you, slightly narrowing as he comprehends your words. “So, what you’re asking me is if I’ll develop enough feelings in a month for you to hurt me?”

“Under normal circumstances, I know I would. That’s the only reason I’m even saying this. I already know you’re a good guy, Chenle, and I don’t want to make you hate me because I can’t give you something.”

These aren’t normal circumstances, but you already have that feeling deep down in your chest, the one that swirls and lights up your world when you think of him—hope.

“How about this,” he says, reaching over to stop you from picking at your nails. “We have this month, in any way you want, and then after, we’ll just be…normal. Friends. I think we get along really well, so it’d be a waste to not at least try to be friends after this, right?”

“Are you sure?” you ask.

“I’d probably end up getting hurt if we didn’t have this conversation, but I do like you. I hope that’s not weird to say, but we have slept together twice, so…”

“It’s not weird. I like you, too. That’s why I wanted to be completely honest with you.”

“But just to be clear, we don’t have to just be friends this month?” Chenle’s thumb traces shapes onto the back of your hand.

Timidly, you shake your head. “I’m all yours for December.”

8:43pm, March 10th, 2023 | Yeouido Park, Yeongdeungpo-gu, Seoul, South Korea

He was right. The tree blossoms are beautiful, and you’re in awe.

But it’s not the same without him.

4:32pm, December 5th, 2023 | Outside of Seoul Tower, Yongsan-gu, Seoul, South Korea

“Jaemin, put him down!” you shout, forcing yourself not to laugh as you smack Jaemin’s arm.

Jaemin shakes his head, shifting to make sure Jeno is comfortable on his back. The latter looks slightly terrified, but as Jaemin charges forward, he laughs with glee. You chuckle, scratching your forehead as you stay back with Mark, Jisung, and Chenle. Renjun and Donghyuck are off looking for some sort of hot drink, and you’re stuck here trying to stop Jaemin before he slips and hurts both himself and Jeno.

“They’re like toddlers,” Mark points out, sighing.

“Pretty muscular for toddlers, don’t you think?” Chenle pipes in, leaning back on the railing.

You stand next to him with Jisung on the other side, and you take in the view around you. Seoul Tower is in the distance, where the sun has already begun its descent below the horizon. It’ll be dark soon, and that means another day has gone by where you’re still unsure of what this hollow feeling in your chest is.

Maybe you’ll never find out, but that’s okay. You’re happy with your band of friends, and you’d never want anything else.

You think that until you glance at Chenle when he’s not paying any attention to you. He watches Jaemin and Jeno in the distance, and as soon as you hear a shout of alarm from Jaemin, Chenle’s eyebrows jump up before his lips part into a smile, and then eventually a loud laugh bursts past. He doubles over, Jisung and Mark following his lead as they watch your friends tumble over each other down the sidewalk.

Your breath catches in your throat. Your heart pounds.

The genuine expression of joy and happiness on his face, while somewhat concerning considering what brought it up, makes your brain malfunction.

“Are you okay?” Mark cups his hands over his mouth to amplify his voice, but the tears in his eyes give away his actual lack of concern.

“Fuck you!” Jeno yells back, making Chenle and Jisung giggle more.

“You losers need girlfriends,” you say. “I’m tired of being the only girl here.”

“For the record, I have a girlfriend.” Mark glares at you.

“Right, sorry. We’ve just never met her so she may as well be invisible,” you deadpan.

Renjun and Donghyuck approach, and the former hands you a warm cup of coffee. You thank him, and then Mark opens his mouth.

“Yeah, well, what about you? Why don’t you get a boyfriend?”

You flounder for a moment. Honestly, you’ve no idea what to say, and the only man you’ve ever considered dating in the last couple years is standing right next to you, stiff as a board at the idea of you having a boyfriend that’s not him.

“Wait.” Donghyuck holds up a hand to stop everyone. “Dude, are you dumb? She’s dating Chenle.”

Both you and Chenle recoil, and at the same time, you say, “What are you talking about?”

“Are…are you not? I mean, you’ve been hanging out for a year and you brought him into our group, so I just figured…wow. Maybe I’m the dumb one.” Donghyuck blinks vacantly past the group before shrugging and sipping his drink.

You look at Chenle and immediately recognize the frustration on his face. Touching his arm, you wait until you have his attention. “I’m sorry.”

The words are so quiet, nobody hears them but Chenle, especially when Jaemin screeches in the distance. In response, Chenle presses his lips into a thin line, nods, and walks off with the rest of the group toward the two hooligans.

7:31am, December 10th, 2022 | Your kitchen

“Fuck,” Chenle groans as he bottoms out inside you, his fingernails digging into your thighs as yours claw at his shoulders. He spent the night last night, and apparently seeing you in his shirt in the morning made him want more of what he got last night.

The counter is cold against your bare ass, but you’re barely on it once he tugs you to the edge. Originally, your plan was to make breakfast, but he clearly had other ideas. He fits so snugly within your walls, you’re almost certain he’s made for you.

You squirm in his grasp, crying out with every miniscule movement he makes with his hips.

“Hear that, baby?” he whispers as he slowly pulls out of you, sounds of your arousal following. “You get so fucking wet for me.”

“Chenle, I—”

He slams his hips against yours before your sentence is complete, making you cut yourself off with a loud moan.

“Lay back.” He tells you. “Let me see all of you.”

You waste no time doing as he asks, lying down flat on the island as his hands explore your body. The granite sends chills up your spine and hardens your nipples even further. Your sweat makes your back stick to the countertop, but neither of you care.

The lights are on, illuminating all of you for Chenle to observe. His hands drag up your body before he reaches your breasts, groaning as he squeezes them. He rubs his thumbs over your nipples, and you cry out and your walls clench down on his cock.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispers, as if you’re not meant to hear those words. “So perfect.”

“Please,” you whine, lifting your hips the best you can. “Need you.”

“Aw, baby. All you gotta do is ask.” He tsks, and before you know it, he’s pulling back to slam himself forward.

Ten days. You’ve known him for ten days, but you’re comfortable enough to be sprawled out in your most vulnerable state, begging him to complete you in the ways only he can.

And you’re metaphorically and physically fucked.

10:51pm, April 12th, 2023 | Yeouido Park, Yeongdeungpo-gu, Seoul, South Korea

All you can think about is him. Chenle should be walking by your side right now.

You reach up, gently caressing the petals the same way he’d touch your face.

You miss him.

You miss him and he’s been so close to you this whole time.

9:21pm, December 14th, 2022 | Chenle’s bedroom

Tonight is one of those slow nights. Considering your timeline, you and Chenle haven’t really wasted any time, either spending the night at his house or yours. More often than not, the two of you would end the night sweaty and naked.

But not this time, apparently. His lips work lazily against yours, but there’s no hint of it heating up. The two of you are simply enjoying each other. His left hand rests casually on your ass, while the right cups your cheek. You love the way this feels. Like there’s no rush.

“I could kiss you for hours,” Chenle murmurs against your lips, inhaling shakily. “Just wanna sit here and kiss you.”

“What’s stopping you?”

“Wanna look at you, too.” He brushes your hair behind your ear. “Want something to remember that’s not just sex, you know?”

Despite the pang in your heart, you nod. “I know exactly what you mean.”

“Whatever happens,” he says, a small smile gracing his swollen lips. “This has been the best time of my life.”

“Bar’s really low, huh?” You giggle, and he rolls his eyes.

“Not at all. You exceed expectations, as per usual.” He kisses the tip of your nose.

You gently push his chest before sliding your touch over his shoulder and onto the nape of his neck. “Can I tell you something?”

“Anything,” he replies.

“You are…the prettiest man I’ve ever met. Not pretty in a bad way. Like…beautiful. You’re beautiful, Chenle.” You trace a finger along his cheekbones, down to his jawline, until you make it to his lips, running your thumb across the bottom one.

“You know, I…I like this a lot. You.” He pauses. “But no matter what I tell you, or how I feel, I hope you know I’d never disrespect the boundaries you’ve set. So if this hurts me, it’s my own fault. Not yours.”

“I—”

“I’m serious. I don’t want to be dishonest with you. We both know I like you a lot. And it’s okay to be scared of that, or to wish things could be simple and meaningless, but…” he trails off, playing with the hem of your shirt. “That’s not reality. I’m falling for you, and I’m okay with it. Even knowing we only have a couple weeks left.”

“Me too,” you whisper. “I’m falling for you, too.”

7:56pm, December 15th, 2023 | Chenle’s house

“Happy one year of your inauguration into the group, Chenle.” Mark claps his shoulder with a bittersweet smile on his face. “I feel like it’s so crazy that you kinda popped out of nowhere, but we like you. We’ll keep you.”

Chenle quirks an eyebrow. “That’s…an oddly endearing speech.”

Exactly a year ago, you introduced Chenle to your group of friends. None of them knew the extended truth of what was going on between you and him, but apparently, people had always assumed from day one. It didn’t help that neither of you had dated anyone since your month together.

Jaemin gathered everyone on the couch and insisted everyone goes through their favorite Chenle memory. One instantly pops in your head, but you’re not sure if you should mention it. Although, you doubt anyone would actually catch on to the meaning behind it.

“Oh, I’ll go first.” Jisung sits forward a bit. “Over the summer, when he helped me burn all of my ex’s old stuff. Was like therapy for us both.”

“Classy,” you cut in.

“Well, my favorite Chenle memory is when we all went to dinner after (Y/N)’s promotion and he got drunk as hell. (Y/N) had to basically wheel him out of there, and the whole time he was mumbling about how happy he was. Comedy gold.” Jeno gives Chenle a thumbs up, who snorts in response.

“Yes, let’s bring up all the times I got drunk.” Chenle leans back, but a grin spreads across his face anyway. His arm brushes against yours, and soon enough, everyone looks at you expectantly. It must be your turn.

You purse your lips to hide your amusement, tapping your nails against your wine glass. “My favorite Chenle moment.”

“Can’t believe it’s this hard for you,” Chenle teases you, nudging your arm. “You have plenty of choices.”

“That’s why it’s hard.” You run your fingers through your hair and sip your wine. “Okay, okay. My favorite Chenle moment is from exactly a year ago tomorrow.”

You don’t elaborate further, but Chenle hides his smile with his drink. Everyone around you waits for you to elaborate, but you and Chenle are caught up in the memory now that you’ve mentioned it.

“Wait, what?” Jaemin frowns. “That’s not fair! We have no idea what happened.”

“It shall forever be a mystery.” You hold up your glass in a fake toast.

“We’re going to assume the worst if you don’t tell us,” Jisung mentions.

“Assume whatever you want.” Chenle shrugs. “Some things are meant to stay private.”

A chorus of oooh’s flood from the boys, and all you can do is roll your eyes. Had it been any other day, they’d probably be right, but December 16th, 2022 was far from a sexual encounter.

5:00pm, December 16th, 2022 | Han River, Seoul, South Korea

Chenle stands against the railing, overlooking the river as he waits for you. You approach him as quietly as possible, not wanting to disturb him while he looks so ethereal. Despite your efforts, it’s almost like he senses your presence.

A wide smile overtakes his features when he sees you. He straightens up, and from this angle, you see the bouquet of flowers in his hand. You make it to him, and the next thing you know, your back is pressed to the rail and his lips are on yours. And you don’t mean to giggle, but you can’t help it when you’re in his embrace. Everything about him makes you feel complete.

“You look beautiful,” he mutters against you before nuzzling his head into your neck. “And you smell so good.”

“Are you only saying that because you’re hungry?” You laugh and gently push at him. “You need real food or you might eat me alive.”

“Trust me, I’ll do that anyway.” That comment earns him another push, but his laugh echoes in the air in the most pleasant of ways.

The two of you start walking, your arm looped in his as he hands you the flowers. You accept them gratefully, sniffing them and sighing at the scent. Resting your head on his shoulder, you allow him to lead the way—something you’d struggle with if you were with anyone else.

“I’m glad we’re able to do this stuff,” Chenle says, smiling at you. “That you’re okay with me taking you out places and all that.”

“We’re not hiding what we’re doing,” you say, stopping and waiting until he turns to you. “No part of this is wrong. Maybe it’ll be a little hard, but we’ll still be friends.”

His chest deflates. “Yeah, we will.”

“Chenle…”

“I know.” He holds his hand up. “I know, (Y/N), I promise. It’ll suck for a while, after having you like this to get demoted to friend, but if it keeps you in my life, I’ll do it. I want you to be happy.”

“You’re supposed to be trying not to fall for me.”

“This is me trying.” He shoves his hands into his pockets. “I’m trying, but nothing’s working. And I don’t really want to talk about it. I want to take you on this date and pretend like…like you’re really mine. If I’m going to get hurt, I may as well make it worth it.”

You’re not sure how it happens, but you must step on some ice. Your feet slip, and you let out a squeal. Chenle darts forward, wrapping his arms around you to steady you on your feet, but he also hits the ice patch. Without another thought, he cradles your head to his chest while both of you fall, taking the brunt of it as his back hits the snow. Luckily, it’s soft enough to give way for him, but it still knocks the air out of him.

“Fuck,” he groans, his grip still tight on you. “Are you okay?”

“Am I okay?” You gasp and roll off him, sitting up. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I am.” He pulls you back down to the snow, turning so he’s looking at you.

As the cold seeps in, you both start laughing. The gleam of the stars catches in his eyes, and you know that either of you fighting your feelings will be futile. You’re not just falling for him, you’re diving headfirst, and when he lays in the snow with you, tugging you closer to kiss you instead of hurrying you to stand, you know you’ll never reach the bottom.

11:08pm, December 19th, 2023 | Your bedroom

How do you still miss him a year later? How does he occupy every single one of your thoughts?

You curl your comforter to your chest and turn to your side, almost certain you can imagine what it felt like to have his sleeping form next to you. Tears prick at your eyes, but you refuse to let them fall.

This is all your fault. He’d be yours if only you had the nerve to ask for his forgiveness.

11:08pm, December 19th, 2022 | Your bedroom

Chenle’s always a peaceful sleeper when he’s with you. He’s lying on his chest, arms under the pillow and the blanket hanging off his bare lower back. You want to trace shapes into his back, any sort of physical touch, but you fear waking him when you’re in a state like the one you’re in right now.

You want him. All of him. Every day.

You’ve only known him for a short amount of time, but you fell hard and fast. The only explanation for the tears in your eyes and the pang in your heart is love.

You’ve fallen in love with Chenle, with his laugh and his smile.

And you’re not sure what you can do to fix it.

6:23pm, December 20th, 2023 | Your house

“It’s almost Christmas,” Mark notifies you through the phone. It’s on speaker, sitting on your counter while you do your dishes.

“There’s five days left, trust me, I know.” You snort. “Jaemin’s present is still in the mail, let’s hope it’s not late. He’ll cry.”

“I think the last one I have to pick up is Chenle’s,” Mark says absentmindedly.

“He’s the first person I bought for,” you admit, shrugging despite Mark not being able to see you. “He’s easy for me.”

“Please, give me some of those vibes.” Mark chuckles. “But actually, is it okay if I ask you a question?”

“You just did.”

“Well, another one, you dick.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

Mark clears his throat and shuffles around. “So…anything happen this year? With Chenle?”

“What?” You frown. “No. Why would it?”

“(Y/N).”

“I’m serious,” you defend yourself. “Things are still the same as they were.”

“Except that’s not true, because you were in love with him last December, dude. Love doesn’t fade if you’re still around the guy every day.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say.” You turn off the water and rinse your hands. “Whatever happened between me and Chenle is in the past. It’s gotta stay there.”

“But what if it doesn’t? He clearly wants you.”

“How could you possibly know that?” You grab your phone and head into your living room.

“You may have introduced him to the group, but he is our friend now, too, you know. And since I’m, unfortunately, the only one who knows the shit that went down between you two, I know very well how both of you are feeling.” Mark opens some sort of bag, and when you hear the crunch, you surmise he must be snacking.

“I’m busy.”

“Yeah, so are the rest of us,” he deadpans.

“That’s not fair.”

“What’s not fair is you telling Chenle you’re too busy to love him and then loving him anyway. We still go out throughout the year, we all hang out. He’s seen you just as much over the last eleven months as he does now.”

“Then why hasn’t he said anything?”

“Are you serious? Maybe because you came up with your dumb rules and he’s too good of a guy to break them.” Mark snorts, and you imagine it’s accompanied by an eye roll.

You open your mouth to say something, but a knock sounding interrupts you.

“Oh, let me call you back.” You hang up on Mark before he responds, quickly bounding over to your door to see who it is.

The smile drops from your face when you see Chenle.

“Hey,” you say, quickly moving aside to let him in.

He hasn’t been alone in your house with you in months, and you begin feeling the tingle of awkwardness and anxiety at the base of your spine.

“What…what’s up?” you ask, clasping your hands together behind your back.

“What are we doing?” he shoots back.

You recoil.

“Nevermind.” His eyes close and he shakes his head, running his hands down his face. “I’m…tired.”

“What can I do to help you?” You step toward him, and he watches you closely, almost as if he’s scared of you.

“I thought I could do this.” He scoffs. “I thought I’d be okay with having you in my life even if I couldn’t—”

Tears already brim your eyes, as if you know what’s about to happen.

He’s leaving you. For real this time.

“Chenle, I…”

“Don’t,” he says. “I was doing good, you know? And then December came and I kept thinking about you and everything we had last year. It won’t leave me alone. And I’m sitting here waiting for you, when I don’t even know if you’ll ever want me in the same way.”

You stay silent, acknowledging that this is something that’s built up inside of him over the course of a year. He said he wouldn’t get mad at you, but you can’t help but understand why he is either way. You’re mad at you, too.

“Hanging around you and our friends and not being able to touch you or kiss you or just tell everyone that I love you fucking sucks. Hearing Mark tell you that you should get a boyfriend sucks. Donghyuck assuming we’re together sucks. I’m tired of this.”

“Chenle…”

“At least I’m trying!” He lets out a bitter laugh and tugs his hands through his hair. “We could make this work if you were willing to put in the effort, but somehow I’m not enough for you.”

“No,” you cut in quickly. “That’s not true at all. Chenle, you deserve so much more than me. That’s why I can’t let you love me, because I’m not worthy of your love. You need someone who can let go around you, who can have fun and love freely, and that’s not me.”

“That is you.” He wets his lips. “That’s always been you.”

“I can’t.”

“You can.”

“I can’t!” Your body shakes as you raise your voice, daggers in your tone as they sink into his skin and cut him down. Tears pour down your cheeks, but there’s no sign of any emotion on his face.

“This is…” He scoffs. “Fine. I’ll see you when I see you. Have a good Christmas, (Y/N).” He turns his back on you, and before you even attempt to comprehend what just happened, he’s gone and your door is slamming behind him.

12:30pm, December 25th, 2022 | Your bedroom

You and Chenle had a late night. You’re just beginning to stir from your slumber, groaning as you turn toward him. Since you’re not sure what time it is, all you do is cuddle close to him, hoping he’ll bring his naked body as close to yours.

“Merry Christmas, baby,” he mumbles sleepily, cradling you into his chest and kissing your forehead.

“Merry Christmas.” You grin, squeezing your arms around him.

You’re not sure exactly how it happened, but suddenly, your bedroom door flies open. You squeal and pull the blanket up to cover yourself, and Chenle pulls you to him.

“What in the hell—” Mark blinks, as if he can’t believe what he’s seeing. “Chenle?”

“Observant,” you deadpan, flipping him off. “Nice job knocking.”

“Well, you two get dressed. The others will be here in like, four minutes.” Mark slams the door behind him again, and you sit up.

Chenle joins you, lips finding your neck. “We could just let them find us like this.”

“That’ll be really easy to explain come January 1st.” You allow the blanket to fall and stand up to grab more clothes. As you sift through your drawers, Chenle’s gaze is glued to you.

“I thought we weren’t hiding this?”

“We…we’re not.” You frown. “I just don’t exactly want all of our friends to see me naked. Or you, for that matter.” You put on a new bra and change your panties before grabbing a T-shirt and some jeans.

“(Y/N), be serious. You don’t want them to know about us.”

“It’s not that easy, Chenle—”

“Then make it easier.” He frowns.

“I don’t want them to know because I don’t want things to be awkward after this. It’s already going to be hard enough, okay? I just want things to go as smoothly as possible.”

“Do you have feelings for me?” He crosses his arms over his chest as you button your jeans.

“Are you serious?” You scoff. “I’ve told you a thousand times that I do—”

“Do you love me?”

His words freeze you in your tracks, and as you open your mouth to speak again, you find no words come out. How do you tell him you love him so desperately that you can’t be with him? Does that even make sense?

“Jaemin’s here!” A loud voice carries from the living room and you cringe.

“We’ll talk about this later.” You pull your shirt on and point a finger at him. “Don’t do anything you’re going to regret. Get dressed and act like I asked you to carry the presents down from my closet.”

Without another thought, you tie your hair up messily and head into the bathroom to brush your teeth.

10:14pm, June 10th, 2023 | Yeouido Park, Yeongdeungpo-gu, Seoul, South Korea

Nothing is right without him.

Nothing.

11:20am, December 25th, 2023 | Your bedroom

Dialtone.

Voicemail.

“This is Chenle. Don’t leave a message because I don’t listen to them.”

Beep.

That’s the sixth time you’ve tried him this morning. He hasn’t responded or texted you once. Your heart is racing and breaking at the same time, and you wonder if this time, you’ve gone too far.

2:37pm, December 25th, 2022 | Your house

Everyone has opened up their gifts, and now you’re all hanging out around the house. You know you’ve set yourself up for a difficult conversation later, so you avoid Chenle as much as possible that day. Mark glances between the two of you knowingly, clearly realizing that something isn’t as obvious as it seems.

You don’t want to hurt Chenle. That’s the last thing you want to do.

Either way, you’ll break his heart. You just have to pick the decision that’s better for you both.

12:30pm, December 25th, 2023 | Your house

Everyone’s here.

Everyone except Chenle.

4:13pm, December 25th, 2022 | Your house

You look at all your friends seated at your kitchen table, casually conversing and eating the dishes each person brought in. It’s a casual Christmas—one that you have every year. This time, even though he’s mad at you, Chenle makes it feel a little fuller. A little more perfect.

You want to keep him around forever, and you’re sure the only way you can do that is by being his friend. If you love him, it’ll be destined to fail.

2:37pm, December 25th, 2023 | Your house

You’re off. You know everyone can tell you’re in your head right now. They notice Chenle’s absence, but they don’t say a word. How could they? They don’t know the truth. No one does except for Mark, and the grim look on his face tells you that he’s heard from Chenle.

You pull him into the kitchen and cross your arms over your chest. “Where is he?”

“I don’t know.” Mark shakes his head and shrugs. “He told me he wouldn’t be here, but he wouldn’t even tell me why. I’m assuming something happened between you two?”

“He…he said he’s still in love with me. You were right, okay? But I couldn’t do it.”

“Why not?” Mark asks, giving you an incredulous look.

“I’m scared.”

“Yeah, get in fucking line.” He glances over his shoulder to make sure no one else has entered the room. “Look, (Y/N), I get it. Life sucks and things don’t work out all the time, but you and Chenle…I’ve known it since you first introduced him to us. He means something to you, and you’re an idiot if you let him go. And instead of spending Christmas with us, he’s alone in his room and hating his life—”

“I thought you didn’t know where he was.”

“Shut up. That’s besides the point.”

“He’s alone?” you whisper the words, clenching your eyes shut and trying to think of anything but him sad and alone on Christmas.

“We’re all he has. You know that.”

“What do I do?” You wipe at your eyes, jaw quivering. “It wasn’t supposed to end like this.”

“Figure out if you want him or not.” Mark sighs. “He’s not going to hurt you, but you have to give him the opportunity to prove that.”

9:43pm, December 25th, 2022 | Your house

Jaemin is the last person to leave, meaning you and Chenle are alone all over again. You clean up some of the stray cups and snack dishes, ignoring his presence while he helps you. Every second that passes builds the pressure on your chest, and you want to scream and cry and ask him why he’s making this difficult when he swore he wouldn’t.

“Can we talk?” he asks as you set your handful down in the sink.

“About what?” You turn the water on, anything to avoid looking at him.

“Stop doing that, damn it.” He grabs your wrist and turns you around.

His face is contorted in an emotion you haven’t seen from him before. He’s desperate, upset, and irritated all wrapped up into one.

“I don’t want to lie to you anymore,” he says. “But I can’t keep doing this. I’m in love with you, (Y/N). I want to have you every day. Everything you have to offer, I want it. Being busy is a shit excuse not to love someone, and I promise I’ll prove to you we can do it if you let me.” Despite the confidence in his posture, his voice shakes as he speaks. He holds onto you, gaze begging you to see reason.

“You said you wouldn’t get mad at me,” you reply.

“I’m not mad at you,” he insists. “I love you. I love you so much that it fucking hurts to think that all I get after this is friendship. I told you I would respect your choice, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t going to ask you one last time to pick me.”

You glance up at the ceiling to stop your tears, sniffling. “Please.”

“Do you love me?” He puts his hands on the counter on either side of your, his face inches from yours. “Be honest with me, please.”

“Do I love you?” You scoff, voice thick. “Of course, I do.”

“Say it.”

“I did.”

“No, tell me you love me. Say it properly and to my face.”

Tears blur your vision, and you cup his cheeks. “I love you, Chenle.”

“Then why isn’t it enough?” He leans forward, resting his forehead on yours. “Why isn’t what we have enough?”

“I’m sorry.” You shake your head. “We had a deal. You said you’d respect my decision. That we could be friends.”

“And we will be. But I…we can’t spend the rest of December together. It’ll be too hard for me, and that’s not fair.” He gulps, blinking back his own tears.

“Please don’t go.” You grab hold of his shirt sleeve. “Just a few more days, Chenle. I’m not ready to let you go.”

As a tear falls down his cheek, he leans forward and kisses you. It steals all the air right from your lungs as if you’ve been punched in the gut. You feel every ounce of desperation in that kiss, but in the end, it still wasn’t enough.

Chenle pulls away, wipes his face, and lets out a shaky sigh. “I love you.”

As soon as the door shuts behind him, you slide down until you’re sitting on the floor. You watched him leave, and with him, your heart trailed not too far behind.

8:59pm, December 25th, 2023 | Your house

You can’t take it anymore.

You never stopped loving him either, and Mark was right. Hurt is inevitable, and the only thing you’re doing by protecting yourself is hurting both you and Chenle. You don’t plan on stopping to tell anyone where you’re going despite it being your house, but Jaemin and Jeno stop you as you grab your purse by the door.

“Where are you going?” Jaemin asks.

Everyone stops—Mark, Renjun, Donghyuck, Jaemin, Jeno, and Jisung—and waits for your response. You send a panicked look at Mark, but he only gives you a nod. How do you admit this to your friends? You lied to all of them, but you want them to support you in getting Chenle back?

“I…I’m gonna go buy more alcohol.”

“Boo!” Mark yells, crossing his arms over his chest.

You roll your eyes and shift on your feet, suddenly uncomfortable by the confused looks your friends are giving you. “I…Okay, Chenle’s not here because of me, and I’m really scared I’ve ruined everything, so I’d like to go check on him if you guys could hold down the fort.”

“And…” Mark makes circles with his hands, urging you to continue.

“And what? I really have to get into that right now?” You frown at him.

“Yes.” He glares at you.

“Fine. I’m…in love with him, I guess.” You cringe at yourself. “And we were…something last December, but I was an idiot and I let him go. I don’t want to do that again.”

Mark looks smug when you glance at him for approval. You’re not expecting it, but all the boys sigh in relief.

“Finally,” Jaemin groans. “I thought we were gonna have to perform a lobotomy on you to get you to admit that.”

“Huh?” Your jaw drops.

“Well, yeah, you look at him like he gave you the best dick of your life,” Donghyuck interjects.

Mark slaps him upside the head. “Dude. PG. Love and feelings, not dicks and sex.”

“Well, he looks at her the same way.” Donghyuck throws his hands up in mock surrender. “You know, except that it’s like…magic pu—”

“Donghyuck.” Renjun cuts him off, facepalming. “Yes, (Y/N), please go save Chenle from himself and tell him the truth. We all know you love him.”

“I…Right. Thanks guys. I’ll be back soon.” You grin at them.

“We hope not.” Jisung purses his lips, and Donghyuck high fives him.

“You guys are children.” You’re still smiling as you exit your home, rushing over to your car.

You were going to make things right.

9:43pm, December 25th, 2023 | Chenle’s house

You give yourself a mental pep talk before walking up to Chenle’s door. It’s much more daunting than you remember. Behind it is your love, the man who’s put up with your denial and bullshit for over a year. He deserves an explanation.

You knock a few times, careful not to be too loud. Rocking on the balls of your feet, you wait for him to answer. When he doesn’t come at first, you almost go back to your car. You almost give up.

He doesn’t want to see you, and he has every right to feel that way.

But you refuse. You knock harder, hearing the sound echo inside his house.

Within a minute, he’s opening the door, eyebrows furrowed. He opens his mouth to speak, but it’s clear he’s used up all the words he’s wanted to say to you. You hoist the bag over your shoulder to his feet, chest heaving from the strain of carrying it from your car.

“These are your Christmas presents.” You nudge it closer to him. “Not just from me. From the guys, too.”

“(Y/N)...” He sighs.

“You have every right to hate me and be mad at me and have a dart board with my face on it. I get it. But our friends are concerned and worried.”

“I’m pretty sure they’d understand where I’m coming from if they knew.” He shakes his head and goes to close the door. You panic, unsure of how to get him to listen to you.

“I told them everything,” you blurt out. “About us. And how we had our stupid deal and it was the dumbest thing I’ve ever done in my life. How I sent you away when I knew I’d never be able to or want to love someone else the same way I love you.”

He stops—moving, breathing, blinking, everything.

“And how you not being there for Christmas hurts so bad. Because I lost you in a different way last year, so I can’t lose you any further this year. I won’t allow it, Chenle. I fucking love you, but I’m scared. Terrified that we’ll burst into flames the second anything good happens to us because that’s…that’s fucking life, you know?

“And if we don’t work, I’d lose you for real. Never see you again, never hear your laugh, never watch you bully the boys affectionately. I wasn’t ready for that. Not that I am now, but I’m not scared of that anymore. I…I love you. And I know I said that like seven times already, but it’s true. I’m not scared of losing you anymore because I know how real these feelings are.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that I broke your heart last year and that you’re so upset that you had to spend Christmas by yourself. I think about our time together…all the time. How you used to pull me a little closer in the mornings when you woke up, how you kissed the tip of my nose when you thought what I was doing was cute. I miss that. I want that back. If you’ll trust me one more time.”

You pant, fear pulling at your veins as his expression doesn’t change. He’s still frozen, looking at you with a blank face. After a few moments, you take that as his answer, and your heart starts beating in your throat.

“Um, yeah. I get it. There’s such a thing as too late, and I’ve been a fucking idiot, so why would you wait for—”

“Oh, for the love of God, stop fucking talking.” He grabs your wrist and yanks you to him, a gasp leaving your throat as you almost stumble over the bag of presents.

Next thing you know, your back is against the wall and his body is firmly against yours. You stare up at him in shock.

“But those are kind of temperature sensitive, so you should bring them inside—”

“You’re such a fucking nerd.” He laughs, dropping his head on your shoulder. “I love you so much.”

Your heart floods with relief, and you forget all about the temperature-sensitive presents, kissing him as hard as you can. He stumbles back one step before pulling you as close as he can. Returning your kiss with equal fervor, he runs his fingers through your hair.

“You called me a nerd, you dick.” You wrap your arms around him and bury your head in his chest. His heartbeat is rapid, thundering in his chest so hard you know he’s equally as shocked as you.

“I missed you so much,” he whispers. “I’ve missed you since last December.”

“Me too,” you admit to him. “It’s not the same when I don’t get to wake up to you.”

“I thought you didn’t care about me.” He grabs the bag to pull it inside and closes the door.

“I cared too much,” you say. “That’s why I couldn’t do it.”

He kisses you again, fingers weaving into your hair and his other hand trailing down to the small of your back. You know what he really wants, so you guide his touch down to your ass. He grins against your lips before giving you a firm squeeze.

“It’s been so long,” he breathes out. “So, so fucking long.”

“What are you saying?” You roll your hips forward, already knowing what he means.

“I’m saying I want you so bad, I can’t keep my hands off you.” His mouth traces along your neck. “But our friends are waiting at your house, and they’ll know if we take too long—”

You turn the two of you around so his back is on the wall. “Good.”

Sinking to your knees, your hands quickly reach for the button on his jeans. His eyes widen at the sight.

“What are you doing?”

“Think it’s pretty obvious,” you say, giving him a pointed look. “Do you want me to?”

“I’m gonna bust in my pants just thinking about it, so…yeah, I want it.” He takes a deep breath and strokes the top of your head while you pull his pants down to his knees.

You palm him over his boxers, listening to the way he inhales sharply. To your pleasant surprise, he’s rock hard already, proving he wants you just as badly as you want him.

“This is going to be very embarrassingly short,” he says as your fingers tug at the last piece of fabric keeping him covered.

“Good thing you have all the time in the world to make it up to me.” You glance up at him and see a grin on his face as his head leans back on the wall.

“For the record,” he groans as you pull his length out of his underwear. “You don’t have to do this. No pressure.”

“I know.” You lean forward and kiss the tip. “I want to.”

You lick up his length, and his hands clench at his sides. Grabbing his wrist, you lead his grip to your hair, instructing him silently to guide your mouth onto his cock. He does as you ask, pushing into your mouth with a drawn out moan. You immediately relax yourself to fit him down your throat, not wasting any time in moving your head.

Drool already falls from your lips, and the feeling of him bottoming out has your eyes brimming with tears. He rocks his hips, cursing under his breath every time your warmth engulfs him in his entirety.

“You’re so fucking good, baby,” he mutters, teeth biting down on his bottom lip.

Your tongue traces along the prominent vein on him, and he tightens his grip. He jerks forward with a hiss, and you gag hard around his cock.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” His head thuds back on the wall. “Gonna cum soon.”

You squeeze your thighs together, rubbing them in an attempt to get any sort of friction. Your hands move to his balls, and as soon as you make contact, he yanks on your head as he thrusts forward, gagging you on his length while he pumps strings of white into your throat.

“Take it,” he coos, stroking your face. “Swallow it, baby. Don’t waste it.”

You pull away from him as he comes down from his high, and you do exactly what he says.

“Let me see.” His thumb caresses your cheek.

You open your mouth, and he moans again at the sight.

“So fucking pretty.”

As he settles himself back in his boxers and buttons up his pants, he watches you closely. “If we weren’t expected somewhere else and you hadn’t sucked the life out of me, you wouldn’t be able to walk right now.”

“Later.”

He kisses you quickly. “And you look so sexy with your lips swollen from sucking my cock.”

You blush, looking away from him.

“You confuse me sometimes.” He laughs, kissing your forehead once. “You’re mine later, baby. I’ll make the wait worth it.”

You know he will.

For now, time to tell your friends you’ve succeeded.

11:33pm, December 25th, 2023 | Your house

You quietly unlock your door, curious if any of the boys are still there at this time.When you walk into your living room, you’re surprised to find all of them staring back at you, eyes honing in on the way you’re gripping Chenle’s hand.

“It’s about time,” Jaemin grumbles. “I thought I was gonna have to sleep on your couch.”

“Yes, congratulations, you two. But I’m exhausted, and you should’ve waited til you got here to fuck so we could go home earlier.” Donghyuck pats his thighs as he stands. “Goodnight.”

Jaemin and Donghyuck leave, and you and Chenle share a glance.

“Ah, I knew you two could do it.” Mark throws his arms over both of you, squeezing you. “But they’re right. It’s way past all of our bedtimes. Let’s go, guys. They probably have a lot of…catching up to do anyway.”

Mark guides everyone out of the house, and before he leaves, gives you two one last encouraging thumbs up.

“What just happened?” You frown.

“I think our friends were more excited about going to bed than us finally getting together.” Chenle raises his eyebrows. “Huh.”

“Oh, I’m sure we’ll hear about it tomorrow.” You scoff, turning to him to kiss him gently.

“Yeah…that’s if I let them interrupt our time together tomorrow.” Chenle grins at you, walking you backward until your back presses against the couch. “I have big, big plans for you.”

You’re in the longest, best night of your life.

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