#nb erza

[mousecracker]

erza redesign ❤️

[ace-of-fairytail]

I honestly get nb Erza idea from when I compare

Erza and Beidou, like who else?? Natzabread drew Erza as Beidou and I'm sold, I just make headcanons and draw things, likee

I don't know why, but I couldn't find the piece by Natzabread for the life of me, but my nb Erza hc probably stemmed from a collection of mousecracker head cannons. It’s actually really random from a fandom standpoint so it’s mostly a “hear me out” type thing. I've also never played Genshin Impact, but this makes me feel like I really need to.

[crystallos-sol]

I updated the trans chat fic for FT. Link.

[girlbossminerva]

Have some headcanons for NB Butch Erza inspired by @crystallos-sol and @pastelwitchwritesstuff 's trans gray.

They never really cared about pronouns or presentation. Mostly because there were other more important matters. They were actually pretty used to being referred to by she/her. Until they arrived to Fairy Tail and met Gray.

Erza had never met someone who wasn't cis (as far as she knew) and Gray acceoted to explain some of his experiences to them.

Erza didn't feel dysphoria, but noticed they felt more self-conscious using dresses and more comfortable wearing mostly pants and button up shirts.

They tried one of Gray's binders once out of curiosity. It wasn't really their size but it prompted them to experiment a bit more and discovered they liked to bind sometimes.

Erza goes with Natsu and Gray to their first Magnolia pride where someone uses they/them pronouns and they are too nervous all of a sudden bc they had never heard those pronouns, there's another alternative to she or he?

After some months of deep thinking about how they don't feel like Gray felt but also they don't really know what being a woman is supposed to feel like, the conclusion is that they might not really understand all about their gender but non-Binary it's what fits better.

Now the more general headcanons

They are a dapper butch, always using dressing pants and vests under the armor. They also like to wear suspenders but they always get stuck on things so those are reserved for special occasions.

If you say some ignorant shit like "nb isn't a real thing" you will be threatened by their swords.

Erza is sometimes refered to as "the charming knight" by magazines because they are very gentlemanly and women swoon wherever they go.

They have BIG MUSCLES and the ft girls love to pretend they need help moving something like boxes or furniture just to see them roll back their sleeves.

Strangers see Erza as threatening most of the time, but it only takes five seconds of them talking excitedly about swords and armor to get rid of this misconception.

[gaygajeel]

i need to, get motivation again to make pride icons. so i can make a batch of my hcs

[dreamingoffairys]

yo i'm bored send me lgbt+ aesthetic requests✨

[lilmissbeanie]

Navigation

Mirajane Strauss x NB!reader Juvia Lockser x NB!reader Erza Scarlet x NB!reader Word count ~ 508 Genre ~ Headcanon, fluff & SFW.

In a land far far away, lies the kingdom of Fiore- ahem.

~ Erza ~

⚔To begin with Erza would want to keep the relationship quiet from the guild and especially the others in team Natsu.

⚔ She would be a total softie with her s/o.

⚔ Not big on PDA when in public, she would be happy to hold hands maybe pecks on the cheek but that would be it.

⚔ Totally a training couple.

⚔ She would be protective of her s/o yet she knows that they can hold their own in a fight of course that works both ways.

⚔ Totally give you a hard time if you get hurt yet will look after you.

⚔ Her favourite way to relax with her s/o is pamper nights in with strawberry cake.

⚔ Generally she loves having someone round she can be herself with and talk about anything and everything with.

~ Juvia ~

🌊 You know as well as I do Juvia is one to fall head over hells and is the kind to tell everyone the second you both get together.

🌊 She loves to show you off.

🌊 Cuddly and affectionate AF, she’s the kind who will jump on you if you’ve been apart for more than a few hours.

🌊 Totally clingy and PDA is not a problem for her, but she will respect your boundaries.

🌊 Would try and protect you in a fight, takes some convincing yet she will finally understand you can stand on your own two feet.

🌊 Totally goes full psycho mode on the person who hurts you in a fight.

🌊 Will nurse you when you are ill or hurt she will cook you food and get you medicine.

🌊 Juvia likes taking her s/o out on dates to expensive places and spoiling them.

~ Mirajane ~

👾 We know all know that Mira is the one to look after everyone she’s like the guilds mum.

👾 So of course she will always talking to them and hearing about their adventures so she always has stories to tell you.

👾 She like to keep your relationship on the down low, everyone knows that you’re dating but no one knows the details, Natsu asked once and let just say Mira isn’t known as an S-rank for no reason.

👾 She isn’t affectionate in public, there are little glances and little touches of course.

👾 but when the two of you are alone she is overly affectionate, snuggling up on the sofa and watching something or playing with your hair with your head in her lap.

👾 She is also one who goes Psycho if you get hurt, Satan Soul will make an appearance in milliseconds.

👾 Like we said she is the mum of the guild so she is going to pander to you when you're ill and hurt.

👾 She will always try to make her s/o laugh and smile when they are feeling down.

👾 She will also always listen to you when you are feeling down and need someone to talk to or rant to, she’s a great listener.

Navigation Discord

©️ All content belongs to lilmissbeanie, do not copy, edit, repost or translate.

[miengsol]

a little soap bubble ( hc set 1 ft. erza )

okay so many of you are probably familiar with erza, calum’s adorable three year old child, but in this incarnation of calum’s story, erza is the one that actually has the most changes ( aka anything you knew about erza before, pls throw out ).

v nervous and timid around people who aren’t dad and maybe, okay well, save for dad and great grandma, erza is very quiet and anxious. very clingy towards his dad. he gets real nervous if dad’s not in the vicinity for long periods of time.

it used to be much worse after mana passed away. kid used to start crying if they didn’t see calum initially when they woke up. also going back to daycare was a...process to say the least. calum’s been teaching them independence little by little

much more of an indoors child- they like to draw ( with markers ) and since mana passed away, read too ( calum does have to help them though ). calum keeps all of erza’s drawings in an album

they also really like soap bubbles- blow bubbles with the bby, he really loves see them float and all the pretty colors they hold!!

he can see spirits and dead people- special gift from their mom’s side of the family. but unlike mom who could only sense spirits, not necessarily see them, erza’s powers are full-blown. calum doesn’t have any powers, but does encourage erza to be nice to the spirits bc ‘they’re people too and deserve respect’

his favorite foods are chicken nuggets and pudding! they also like peaches and apples!! broccoli and peppers are gross!!

he has mana’s eye color but calum’s eye shape. i dunno how to do genetics so the rest is up to your imagination ( until i decide otherwise )

on a note from ferre, erza is nonbinary ( genderfluid ) so while i tend to flip flop between they/them and he/his pronouns since erza still doesn’t realize their identity isn’t cis, calum will be referring to them using he/him pronouns. he welcomes erza’s nb identity with open arms of course.

[tekri]

Erza & Scarlet ReMeshed; I felt like my old versions didn’t do the character justice so I remade these two. Scarlet now has a version without bangs.

Download ->『SimFileShare!』NB= [N]o [B]angs

Category: Hair

Age: Teen- Elder

Gender: Female

Swatches: 18 Default Ea Colors

Hat Chops ✓

Shadow Map ✓

Morphs ✓

Polycount

                     Erza      Scarlet      ScarletNB

Lod0: 11800      8832         4810       

Lod1: 9440        7065         4810

Lod2: 4720        4238         2886

Lod3: 1887        1153         1153

T.o.u: Recolors  ✓  Including the Mesh  ✓

[fuckallthegood0nesweretaken]

Things I write for!

Alright! So here is the list of things I write for. Keep in mind that I will write smut and sexual themes, but If I don’t think it fits or if there is something that makes me uncomfortable, I won’t write it. I will write AU’s, romantic and platonic. I do not write characterxcharacter or any OC’s. I will write for female, male and nb readers, just let me know in your request.

I have also added a list of AU’s and tropes I like to write but if you have one in mind that isn’t on here, don’t be afraid to include it! The characters in bold are ones that I especially love to write for. 

ANIME: 

Assassination Classroom- I’ll write for Asuno, Okano, Maehara, Itona, Kaede, Karma, Hazama, Mimura, Takebayashi, Justice, Kataoka, Nagisa, Hayami, Nakamura, Terasuka. Sugaya, Okajima, Yoshida, Muramatsu, Sugino, Kanzaki, Isogai, Fuwa, Kurro-Sensei, Irina, and Karasuma. Romantic, platonic, student/teacher/assassin reader is fine.

Attack on Titan- I’ll write for Armin, Eren, Hanji, Jean, Levi, Marco, and Mikasa. I don’t mind spoilers, so anything goes.

Fairy Tail- I’ll write for Cana, Elfman, Erza, Gajeel, Gray, Jellal, Juvia, Laxus, Loke/Leo, Levy, Lucy, Mirajane, Mystogan, Natsu, and Wendy(PLATONIC ONLY). I’ve read the entire manga so anything goes.

Free!- Just the main peeps; Makoto, Nagisa, Rei, Haru, Rin, and Souske. I haven’t watched any of it in a long time and I really don’t mind spoilers so anything goes.

Haikyuu!!- Everyone in Karasuno; everyone in Nekoma; Oikawa, Iwaizumi, Kyotani from Aoba johsai; Bokuto, Akaashi from Fukurodani; Ushijima, Tendo from Shiratorizawa. I have not seen season three and four so no spoilers please! 

Hetalia- I’m not super into this anime anymore, but I’ll still write for it. I’ll write for anyone and I’ve seen everything so anything goes.

K-Project/K- I’ll write for anyone. I’ve also seen the whole thing so anything goes.

Kuroko no Basket- I will only write for the generation of Miracles. I haven’t seen anything past season one, but I don’t mind spoilers so anything goes.

Log Horizon- I will write for anyone. I have only seen season one so no spoilers please!

Magi- I will write for Alibaba, Morgiana, and Sinbad. I don’t mind spoilers, so anything goes.

My Hero Academia- I will write for Bakugou, Hagukure, Iida, Jiro, Kaminari, Kirishima, Midoriya, Mina, Momo, Ojiro, Sato, Sero, Shoji, Todoroki, Tokoyami, Tsuyu, Uraraka; Kendo, Monoma, Tetsutetsu; Shinso; Mirio, Nejire, Tamaki; All Might/Small Might, Eraserhead, Fat Gum, Hawks, Kamui Woods, Present Mic; Dabi, Shiguraki, Toga. I haven’t read anything past Hawks being introduced, so no spoilers past that point in the manga. Other than that, anything goes.

Naruto- I’ll write for Asuma, Choji, Deidara, Gaara, Hidan, Hinata, Itachi, Jiraiya, Kakashi, Kakuzu, Kankuro, Kiba, Kisame, Kurenai, Lee, Minato, Naruto, Neji, Obito/Tobi, Sakura, Sasori, Sasuke, Shikamaru, Shino, Temari, Tenten, Tsunade, Zabuza. . I haven’t seen/read all of it but don’t mind spoilers so anything goes.

Sailor Moon- I’ll write for Sailor’s Moon, Mercury, Jupiter, Mars, Venus, Tuxedo Mask and their normal counterparts.. I’ve seen all of it, but a long time ago. I don’t mind spoilers so anything goes.

Seven Deadly Sins- I’ll write for Ban, Diane, Escanor, King/Harlequin, Meliodas, Merlin; Arthur, Elizabeth, Gilthunder, Howzer. . I’ve seen what they have of the anime on Netflix and the movie. No spoilers from the manga, but everything goes other than that.

BOOKS:

Harry Potter- I will write for Cedric, Dean, Draco, Fred, George, Ginny, Harry, Hermione, Luna, Neville, Ron, Seamus; James, Lily, Remus, Sirius; Newt, Queenie.  I’ve read and seen everything so anything goes.

Lord of the Rings- I’ll write for Aragorn, Boromir, Faramir, Frodo, Legolas, Merry, Pippin, Sam. I’ve read the books and seen the movies so anything goes.

Narnia- I’ll write for Caspian, Edmund, Eustace, Lucy, Peter, Susan. I’ve read the books and seen the movies so anything goes.

Percy Jackson- I’ll write for Annabeth, Bianca, Clarisse, Leo, Luke, Nico, Percy, Piper, Thalia; Frank, Hazel, Jason, Reyna. I’ve read all the books up to Magnus Chase. I don’t mind spoilers and will write for anyone so anything goes. 

The Hobbit- I’ll write for Bard, Bilbo, Bofur, Dwalin, Fili, Kili, Legolas, Tauriel, Thorin. I’ve read the books and seen the movies so anything goes.

K-POP:

BTS- Hoseok/J-Hope, Jimin, Jungkook, Namjoon/RM, Seokjin/Jin, Taehyung/V, Yoongi/Suga

KARD- Jiwoo, Taehyung/J-Seph, Matt/BM, Somin

MonstaX- Changkyun/I.M, Hyungwon, Jooheon, Kihyun, Minhyuk, Shownu, Wonho

GOT7- Bambam, Jackson, Jaebum, Jinyoung, Mark, Youngjae, Yugyeom

TWICE- Chaeyoung, Dahyun, Jeongyeon, Jihyo, Mina, Momo, Nayeon, Sana, Tzuyu

BlackPink- Chaeyoung/Rose, Jennie, Jisoo, Lisa

Mamamoo- Hwasa, Moonbyul, Solar, Wheein

MOVIES: 

Big Hero 6- I will write for Fred, Go-Go, Hiro, Honey Lemon, Tadashi, Wasabi

How to Train Your Dragon- I will write for Hiccup, Astrid, and Eret.

Hunger Games- I will write for Katniss, Gale, Peeta, Joanna, and Finnick.

Jumanji- I have seen both 1&2. I am doing a rewrite of the first movie (and the second later on) but will write for any of the characters.

The Meg- I will write for Jax, Jack Morris, DJ, and Jonas Taylor. I’ve seen the movie so anything goes.

Pirates of the Caribbean- I will write for Jack, Elizabeth, James, and Will. I’ve seen everything so anything goes.

The Purge- I’ve seen all of the movies, but not the TV show. I’ll most likely use this as an AU but I do have a rewrite of Election Year and Anarchy in my WIP’s

Star Wars- I will write for Anakin, Ben Solo/Kylo Ren, Finn, Han Solo, Hux, Leia, Luke, Obi-Wan, Padme, Poe, Rey

DC:

Flash- I haven’t seen past season one, but I don’t mind spoilers so I’ll write for all the characters and anything goes.

Justice League- I’ll write for all of the heroes. I haven’t seen a lot of the cartoon shows, but I’ve seen the live action movies and Young Justice (Season 1&2 ONLY). Anything goes.

Suicide Squad- I will write for Boomer, Deadshot, Diablo, Harley Quinn, Katana

Young Justice- I will write for Aqualad/Kaldur, Artemis/Tigress, Beast Boy/Garfield, Blue Beetle/Jaime Reyes, Impulse/Bart Allen, Kid Flash/Wally, Miss Martian/Megan, Nightwing-Robin/Dick, Robin/Tim, Red Arrow/Roy Harper, Superboy/Connor, Wonder Girl/Cassie, Zatanna Zatara. I haven’t seen season three, so please no spoilers!! 

MARVEL:

AntMan- I will write for Hope, Luis, Scott 

Avengers- I will write for Bruce, Bucky, Clint, Natasha, Peter, Sam, Steve, Thor, Tony, Wanda

Black Panther- I will write for Erik, Everett Ross, M’Baku, Nakia, Okoye, Shuri, T’Challa

Dr. Strange- I will write for Steven Strange

Guardians- I will write for Gamora, Nebula, Peter, Yondu

X-Men- I will write for Bobby/Iceman, Hank(old and young), Jean(old and young), Kitty Pryde, Logan/Old Man Logan, Marie/Rogue, Ororo Munroe(old and young), Remy LeBeau, Scott(old and young), Victor Creed; Alex Summers, Charles Xavier, Erik Lehnsherr, Jubilee, Kurt, Peter Maximoff, Raven(young only)

TV SHOWS:

Avatar the Last Airbender- I’ll write for Aang, Katara, Sokka, Toph, Suki, Zuko, Azula, Mei, and Ty Lee. I’ve seen everything so anything goes.

Dr. Who- I have seen everything up to the 12th Doctor. No spoilers for 12&13 please! Other than that, anything goes.

Game of Thrones- I will write for the Starks(Arya, Brandon, Jon, Robb, Sansa), Tormund, Sandor, the Lannisters(Jaime, Tyrion), Daenerys, Brienne, Gendry, Podrick, Bronn, Oberyn, Sam, Theon, and Yara. I have seen the entire series and anything goes.

Legend of Korra- I’ll write for Korra, Mako, Bolin, and Asami. I haven’t seen anything past season one, but I don’t mind spoilers. Anything goes.

The Mandalorian- I’ll write for Cara, Mando, and Paz. I’ve seen everything so anything goes. 

Sherlock- I will write for Sherlock, John, and Greg. I haven’t seen past season three episode two so no spoilers please! Other than that, anything goes.

Supernatural- I will write for Sam, Dean, Cas, and John. I haven’t seen past season 6 but don’t mind spoilers, so anything goes!

The Walking Dead- I’ll write for anybody. I’m only at the beginning of season nine, so anything past that please don’t spoil it!

Video Games:

Assassins Creed- I’ll write for Altair, Ezio, and Connor. I’ve played some of the games and don’t mind spoilers so anything goes.

Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild- I have beaten the game and will write for Link and Zelda. 

AU’S:

Adventurers

Assassin

Athlete

College

Coffee Shop

Mafia

Magic

Modern

Musician 

Pet Shop

Royalty

Soulmate- Colorblind, tattoo(name of soulmate/first words spoken, etc.), watch countdown, whatever you write on yourself ends up on them.

Spy

Supernatural

Superpower

Tattoo Artist

Tropes:

Human from our world dropped into their world and vice versa

Only one bed

Roommates 

[sassyhazelowl]

Fairy Tail Pride

Day 27 Prompt: “Underneath is the same love” Paring: Erza x nb! Lucy Additional Notes: For @shell-senji, who I hope doesn’t mind a little tweaking to make things fit best for Pride.

                                                              ~*~

“You know, I’ve been thinking a lot lately.”

Erza didn’t look up from the rhythmic strokes up and down her sword, “When are you not thinking, Lucy?”

“Ha, good point. That’s why we’re so great because you’re the brawns and I’m the brains. But I mean, I’ve been thinking about… serious stuff.”

“Mmm?” the redhead glanced up, catching her tone. Carefully setting things down, she laid her hands in her lap and focused on the Celestial Wizard. They’d been dating long enough she knew when Lucy was thinking about something important. “What have you been thinking about.”

Nervously, Lucy fiddled with the hem of her shirt, and that made Erza curious but apprehensive. And a bit hopeful. They’d been dating for quite awhile, and while it hadn’t been explicitly discussed, Erza felt like it was getting to that point.

“Well… Erza,” Lucy’s warm brown eyes searched her face apprehensively. “What if I said, well, that I might not be a woman.”

Taken aback and pretty lost, Erza blinked, not sure what to say.

“I mean, like,” Lucy fumbled, voice growing smaller, “I don’t really feel like a woman… it doesn’t feel… right. For me, I mean.”

“So you feel like a man? You do not feel right in your body and need to change it?”

Lucy snort-laughed and waved her hands, “I should’ve seen that coming. No, no, um, not that either. I definitely don’t feel like a guy. I feel like�� me...”

Erza cocked an eyebrow, “So you are Lucy-gender.”

“A little like that, but, I… was thinking about changing my pronouns a little, to see what fits? And maybe do something with my name. Nothing drastic, just a name that suits me more. Try some new outfits. Erza, I want to be my most authentic self, if that makes sense.”

Erza considered that with a small nod, “Seems reasonable. So instead of my girlfriend, I would call you…?”

“Partner, I guess,” Lucy replied. “I don’t know. We’d have to talk about it.”

“I suppose so.”

Erza added honestly, “You know I am going to be entirely awkward about this. And I will possibly make some big mistakes... in public...”

“Erza, you’re awkward about everything; that’s your embarrassing-but-oh-so-loveable charm. So... you’re not… angry?”

The redhead’s lips quirked and she opened her arms for a hug, “Underneath is the same love.”

“You stole that from a poetry book,” Lucy accused with a laugh, throwing herself into the woman’s arms. “Or a song.”

“Fortune cookie,” Erza admitted wrapping Lucy up with both arms, “But the sentiment still stands.”

“True,” Lucy mumbled into her neck smiling with the feeling everything was going to be all right. It was a feeling to fall in love with given by the one Lucy loved the most, and Lucy wouldn’t trade this moment for the world.

[ft-wwtdp]

Day 27 In Review - Homoromantic

Who Personifies It Best?

*Poll Winner* Homoromantic - Laxus Dreyar edit by @gaymirajane

Prompts

"Underneath it's all the same love"

Fanfiction:

Underneath is the same love (Erza x nb! Lucy) by @sassyhazelowl

Underneath it’s all the same love (Gay! Sting x Agender! Rogue) by @gaymirajane

"I love them and they love me"

Art/Edits:

I love them and they love me (gay! Sting x demiboy! Rogue) by @gaymirajane

We will accept late submissions and will add additional works to this post as we receive them! Additions will be marked in bold.

[crystallos-sol]

hey dork, imagine Gray getting married to Natsu in a veil with a trans flag-themed flower crown (and Natsu with a nonbinary one).

YES!!! ALSO (I've said & written before that Islavin culture has platonic weddings!!!) Gray (when he married Erza platonically) got him & Natsu (of course Natsu's present are you kidding me he's also platonically marrying Erza) matching suits but the suits are in their flags & the little ties are each other's flags. (grays tie is the nb flag & Natsu's is the trans flag)

[girlbossminerva]

do minerva!!!! and erza!!!! (for the ask meme!!)

I did Minerva here, but I will grant you 5 headcanons as a consolation prize:

She’s fascinated by reptiles so she got two crested geckos as pets. They’re both a shade of orange and their names are “Sunset” and “Rust”. Sting calls them cheeto dragons, she hates it.

On special occasions she prepares a special breakfast for the whole guild. If it is someone’s birthday, they can ask her to cook whatever they want, but if it’s a complicated dish or something she hasn’t tried before, then they gotta tell her a week in advance.

She has Thalassophobia. One time Juvia offered to help her get over it by making a bubble to travel down water to show her everything was fine and she immediately refused and didn’t go to Magnolia for two weeks.

She bonded with Lucy over their shitty fathers. Whenever they remember the trauma and are having a hard time controlling their emotions, they call each other.

After Tartarus, the black demon marks that she got receded but didn’t go away completely, and she also partially lost sight on her right eye.

Erza

Sexuality Headcanon: Bisexual with a lean towards women.

Gender Headcanon: NB Erza my beloved <3 Goes by he/they and is a very dapper butch. I also like to imagine that he has an undercut

A ship I have with said character: *Unrolls scroll* We have Erlu, Erluvia, Ervia, Erzajane, Gratsuerlu, Gratsuza, Minerza- Basically I can see chemistry between him and many people, but my favorites are Erluvia and Gratsuerlu. They just have a lot of love to give. Actually, let’s add Polyamorous to the sexuality headcanon.

A BROTP I have with said character: Erza and Gray fucking understand each other so well it’s almost painful and I really have to read more stuff about them.

A NOTP I have with said character: I was thinking of pairings with Erza that I wouldn’t like and....has someone thought of Kyouka x Erza? Cause that is one I disagree with A LOT.

A random headcanon: Due to Irene having been pregnant in dragon form for so long, Erza has some dragon mannerism or instincts; he has a hoard of shiny swords, he may growl if they’re too angry or if they need to keep Gray and Natsu out of each other's throats for five fucking minutes, and they have so many pilows his bed is basically a nest. The dragon slayers see him as sort of the pack (what do you call a group of dragons??) leader and when it was only Natsu, he basically attached to them and followed them around like a duckling. (Think I might end up writing this FUCK)

General Opinion over said character: Erza is the Strong Woman Warrior trope and is needlessly tortured for the sake of shitty fanservice, my dear deserves better and I don’t even wanna THINK about what mashima is putting them through in the 100 yq. 

[gaygajeel]

okay i tried to make a batch of pride icons for my hcs!

transfem bi levy, trans butch erza, transmasc bi gray

genderfluid bi natsu, trans lesbian wendy, they/them lesbian juvia

nb bi cana, trans gay gajeel, and transfem bi lucy!

[juliansbear]

Is there a way to prove tt several trans women exhibit a lot of same bad behaviour and patterns as "cis straight men"? Because a lot of pro-trans women seem to have a little dissonance such that they only call out "cis straight men" for rapes and assault but make excuses and DARVO hard for folx like Erza Miller "nb" and especially trans women who caused trouble in women's spaces. Why cant they get the message: TRANS WOMEN ARE NOT ABOVE THE LAW, and their past and hardships doesn't xcuse bad acts

I don't think proof is the problem. it's available in abundance. I think people just need to keep speaking the truth and hope someone will really hear them. idk maybe there's a better way but I don't know what it is. :(