#nature is my religion tbh

[merrysithmas]

the ONLY valid thing about mandalorians is that their society has no gender!!!!!!!

and like, annoyingly, i thus have to admit i stan their stupid keto prepper anti vaxxer warrior culture for (1) thing

[deeisace]

sig 6 complete - Numbers is halfway through sig 7, and I hope to concentrate enough to get 7 and 8 at least finished today

[peaceeandcoolestvibes]

Best one yet 🧡

[yuamin]

ORORUN REDRAW GUIDE !

i think we’ve all seen the atrocity that is genshin’s unreleased character, ororun. the entirety of natlan is a mess really, but as a yoruba person myself i CANNOT keep quiet about ororun specifically.

outside yoruba mythology, in yoruba, ‘Olorun’ (the name ororun is based on, pronounced o-law-roon , with o pronounced as in orange and the ‘roon’ pronounced shortly, not dragged on at all) is actually the same word we often use to refer to God in Christianity. Christianity is the primary religion among us yorubas so honestly, i was kinda glad they misspelled his name. it would feel SO disrespectful referring to whatever that thing is with the same word we use to refer to God who we actually worship. religion aside, genshin’s depiction of Olorun (cultural god, not Christian one) is downright disgusting. i’d never paid too much attention to genshin and its poor representation, but now that my culture has fallen victim to it, i completely understand all the outrage.

edit: please note that while we use ‘Olorun’ to refer to the Christian God, Olorun is just a general word for ‘god’ itself ! for example if i say “God in heaven” and “god of thunder” we know i’m referring to two different beings, in yoruba it’s the kind of the same—the same word is used to refer to both the Christian and other gods, but we know it’s different, even though olorun can be capitalized regardless of what god we’re talking about (unlike english where the Christian God is capitalized and other gods aren’t) at the end of the day though, when we say “olorun” even without context, we are usually referring to the christian God !

1. PLEASE DO NOT DRAW HIM WITH ANIMAL EARS !

i’ve noticed that hoyoverse has this nasty habit of portraying every dark skinned character as wild or animal-esque. kaeya seems to be the only exception to this. even xinyan, though lacking any animal features, has this wild energy to her. some might call it a stretch, but i feel like her features are pretty feline in comparison to other liyue characters.

Olorun in our culture is the supreme god of the heavens. In my opinion, it is disrespectful to liken him to something akin to an animal. normally i wouldn’t even mind that much, but with how hoyo makes its few dark characters more and more like animals, i can’t help but feel weird about it. its really off putting.

2. HIS HAIR WOULD NOT BE CURLY !

majority of nigerians have 4C HAIR. not wavy hair or loose curls. some have 4B, but 4C is the usual here, that is, kinky or coily hair. Olorun is often portrayed as bald in traditional art, but trust me if he had hair his hair would resemble his people’s, not Tyla’s.

DREADLOCKS ARE A YES ! outside nigeria, locking hair is pretty common, but in nigeria a lot of people have locks naturally. our hair sometimes just grows out that way, no treatment no nothing. dreads are 100% an appropriate style, they look good asf too.

3. PLEASE USE CULTURAL FABRICS IN YOUR DESIGNS !

when i saw ororun’s outfit, i almost started crying. they couldn’t even bother to dress him up a little. they really dressed my brother in a scarf and cape and called it a day 😭 upon how fashionable we nigerians are know to be, hoyoverse still made it their mission to embarrass us stylistically. God knows my people have suffered man 😭

ankara is a traditional nigerian fabric that features bright colors and lots of patterned designs. see below:

here in 9ja, we love our ankara. it’s a big part of our fashion here and trust me it would look excellent in your designs. it’s perfectly fine to draw ororun in normal fabrics since he’s a deity and it’s not like ankara existed back then, but if you really want to represent nigeria, ankara is a must 🙏

i’m going to address another fashion piece because if you search up nigerian fashion you’ll see it a lot: beads.

these orange beads are igbo (another tribe here in nigeria) NOT yoruba. does this mean you can’t use it in olorun’s design ? no ! let me explain. tbh, here in nigeria there’s a bit of...tension between clans. it’s not that common, but older people are definitely a lot more tribalist. as a yoruba i love my igbo brothers and sisters, i truly believe they’re the most fashionable clan and i adore their festivities, they always go over the top. please, just look at them:

(only one image because of image caps, ugh)

anyway, we yorubas wear beads too. but the specific way the beads are worn around the head and in multiple layers round the neck is igbo, not yoruba. though i personally wouldn’t care too much if i saw olorun with igbo beads since all i want is for him to at least look nigerian, at the end of the day he is a yoruba deity. it might be disrespectful to dress the god of one clan as if he belongs to another, especially since there is so much historical ( and very slight but uncommon present ) day tension between both clans.

here’s a more yoruba outfit. sorry yall, it might be hard for you to distinguish if you’re not yoruba or igbo, but a lot of nigerians can tell the difference at a glance. ( actually nowadays, there is so much overlap between yoruba and igbo fashion, but there are many specific styles that may be associated with one tribe and not the other, for example how beads are worn in the above paragraph ) please do your research, he’s not only a nigerian god, but a yoruba one.

one more thing, because i know it will start discourse : skin tone.

nigerians have a very diverse range of skin tones. some of us are so pale, if not for our afrocentric features we could maybe pass for another race. however, ororun is yoruba.

light skinned nigerians are usually igbo. not to say that yorubas can’t be light skin, but here in nigeria if you saw a light skinned person, we’d automatically assume they were igbo. igbo people usually have lighter skin tones. majority of yorubas fall on the more milk to dark chocolate end of the skin tone spectrum. i’m saying this now because i know a lot of people are going to start arguments over ororun being redrawn as ‘too light’ or ‘too dark.’ i don’t really care about complexion, but i thought i’d help you all get your facts right.

that’s it ! if you read all this i’m super thankful. i don’t usually post about this kind of stuff but i honestly love my country and could go on about it for days. nigeria is such a beautiful place with a diverse range of cultures— from hausas to fulanis to so many more. natlan was supposed to be Africa’s time to shine, as well as latin americans, but hoyoverse said fuck you and your people. they did this to an extent with sumeru but natlan was done straight up dirty—not a single melanated character in sight, and the only one who does have melanin, iansan, looks so desaturated you might as well call her grey. i saw someone on tiktok call mualani a dark skinned character—it was at that point that i knew genshin was done for.

please REBLOG this post so it reaches more people and artists in the fandom !! this is literally the third time i’m making this post because tumblr refuses to show it in the tags for some reason 😭 i encourage other cultures who feel misrepresented to make posts like this too. it’s a perfect opportunity to educate and inform people about the diverse cultures genshin has once again failed to represent properly.

Hoyo has never been one to make customer satisfaction their top priority, but we’ve been able to call them out before and i truly believe we can do it again. Natlan is not poor design choice. it is blatant racism, a nation based on POC ethnicities with not a single colored character insight. Hoyoverse has been able to escape racism accusations for as long as i can remember, but natlan is the icing on the cake. we CANNOT allow hoyo to proceed as planned without giving them the appropriate backlash.

Also, if you redraw ororun using this guide, make sure to tag me here or on my main blog, @heartkaji !! i’d love to see all your redesigns. once again, thank you all for reading and have an amazing day !!

[youremyheaven]

The Internal Corrosiveness of Venus: Venusian Women & Self Harm

TW: self harm, abuse, suicide, violence, trauma

Claire had remarked that "Venus is internally corrosive whilst externally pleasant and Mars is externally corrosive but internally pleasant". This led me down a rabbit hole to try to understand whether this "internally corrosive" nature manifests as self harm & eating disorders and unfortunately, it does. Venusian women struggle with perfectionism and are extremely self-critical. Venusian energy is HARSH. Venus natives struggle to uphold a certain standard that they subject themselves too because if I'm being honest Venus is the OG "not like other girls girl", they believe they're better than others, and tbh in many ways they probably are but this also means they put undue pressure on themselves to keep being that way.

All Venusian naks are Ugra or "fierce" in nature and while I've talked about how Venusian violence and cruelty can be directed at others in my other posts, I think its worth mentioning how Venusians can be just as cruel to themselves. This is especially true of Venusian women as women internalise their problems while men wreak external havoc (like causing wards and killing people) but there are many male Venusians who struggle internally as well.

In ancient religions, Goddesses of love also had other functions or powers that had nothing to do with love

the Egyptian Goddess Isis was the goddess of love, healing, fertility, magic, and the moon. She was the goddess of life and magic, Isis protected women and children and healed the sick.

She was a great magician, whose power transcended that of all other deities.

The Mesopotamian Goddess Ishtar is the goddess of love and sexuality, and thus, fertility; she is responsible for all life, but she is never a Mother goddess. She is also the Goddess of War.

I'm using these examples to show that the ancients had a more complex and nuanced understanding of Venusian energy. One cannot worship love without understanding that "war" is a consequence of it. Love & war are not very different from each other. When someone believes in something and is willing to die for it, we find that to be very honourable. Sometimes this belief leads men to kill others over it and depending on the cause, we describe the war as "good" or "bad" (kill a bunch of fascists and then its a "righteous" war, if you kill innocent people, then its an unholy war etc). Being at a state of war describes Venusian nature very well since Venus is also connected to royalty and if you're born into royalty, you get to live a very "exclusive" very privileged life that few get to enjoy but the stakes are also that much higher since you could be beheaded or executed or exiled and live a life that is far worse than the average person.

In this post I want to explore how this "state of war" can manifest internally in an ordinary Venusian and contribute to self harm, eating disorders and drug abuse.

Bella Hadid- Purvaphalguni Moon & Rising

Bella has admitted to smoking since she was a teenager and getting a rhinoplasty at 14. Her pro ana Tumblr from when she was a teen is infamous at this point. She has never openly spoken about it but it is widely speculated that she struggles with an eating disorder and possible drug abuse as well.

“I was the uglier sister. I was the brunette. I wasn't as cool as Gigi, not as outgoing,” she said. “That's really what people said about me.” I also feel like Venusians grow up feeling really ugly and completely unaware of their magnetism. They only really grow into their looks when they're older (obvs there are exceptions) and I think being bullied for what they have and don't have are also big themes.

Demi Lovato- Bharani Moon

Demi has spoken about struggling with self harm, eating disorders and drug abuse.

Lovato said, “growing up, I had been bullied in school,” saying she “felt like an outsider," and "like an outcast,” but then she became friends with a girl who was popular. “One day, I asked her ‘how do you have all these friends?,’” Lovato noted, and the girl asked Lovato “do you party?" Lovato explained, "She asked me, 'Do you drink?,'" with Lovato saying that this was her first experience with drugs and alcohol, adding, “we experienced a lot of stuff together, drinking and using, and growing up.” Bharani being an outcaste nakshatra resulted in Demi feeling like one growing one :(((

Taylor Swift- Purvashada Rising

Taylor opened up about her eating disorder in her documentary

Lindsay Lohan- Bharani Moon

LiLo has struggled with self harm, drug abuse and battled eating disorders

Oscar Wilde, Purvaphalguni Rising wrote The Picture of Dorian Gray

The plot goes like this : An attractive Englishman's image is captured in a painting that keeps him from ageing, when he exchanges his soul for eternal beauty. But for every sin that he commits, his image in the portrait rots.

This is a very deeply Venusian story, and very specifically Purvaphalguni esque because Purvaphalguni is the height of Venus. It can be said that its also true of Venusians in general. They are outwardly splendorous, they seem to have it all together but inwardly they tend to be inflicting wounds upon themselves in order to keep it all together.

Johnny Depp- Purvashadha Moon

He has also battled eating disorders, self harm and drug abuse.

Iggy Pop- Bharani Moon

"THERE IS EXTREME, there is legendary — and then there is Iggy Pop. Beginning in his earliest days with the Stooges taunting Ann Arbor frat boys and small town Michigan folk, Iggy made an art of excess: self-mutilation, self-exposure and self-destruction. His risky theatricality required an audience to respond, participate or get the heck out of there. And the sex and violence hardly stopped after the show was over."- this is how Rolling Stone described Iggy Pop and tbh this is a very Venusian description

In 1974, at his first solo concert dubbed The Murder of a Virgin. "Do you want to see blood?" Iggy asked the crowd, which howled affirmatively back at him. Then, at Iggy's urging, guitarist Ron Asheton, wearing a Nazi outfit, whipped Iggy repeatedly. Iggy began hurling racial epithets at a black spectator, hoping to goad the man into stabbing him with the steak knife he'd brought onstage. No luck, so he closed the set by carving an X into his chest himself.

Marilyn Manson- Purvashadha Sun

He has struggled with self harm in the past (there are images online if you're interested) and in 2013, he tried to simulate self harm on stage by holding a knife to his wrist in the middle of a performance??

Christina Ricci- Purvashadha Moon

Ricci has said she suffered from anorexia as a teenager and was sexually assaulted as a child. “There was no discussion at that time about trauma, and about recovering from those things, about PTSD,” she said. As a result, she ended up “acting out and coping in ways that weren't good."

Robert Downey Jr- Bharani Moon, Mars in Purvaphalguni

its pretty well known that RDJ was severely addicted to drugs at one point and it started when he was a child and drugs was given to him by his dad:///

Megan Fox- Purvashadha Rising

"I have body dysmorphia — I don't ever see myself the way other people see me," Fox said. "There's never a point in my life where I loved my body, never, ever." "When I was little, that was an obsession I had of, like, but I should look this way,"

‘However, at a certain point, I went through some trauma in childhood and I developed a pretty severe eating disorder and manic depression, which runs in my family, so there was definitely some wrestling with chemical imbalance going on,’ she shared.

its interesting how so many of these natives begin struggling with these issues very early in life

Colin Farrell- Purvashadha Rising, Jupiter conjunct Ketu in Bharani

While he did not say that he had cut himself when he was younger, Colin Farrell had some self-inflicting behavior during his younger days. He spoke on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and said that he used to actually enjoy pulling out huge tufts of his hair. 

Pete Davidson- Purvaashadha Rising

'I used to bang my head against walls,' he admitted. 'If I couldn't deal with something -- if someone told me something sad or something I couldn't deal with I would bang my head against the wall, hoping I'd pass out because I didn't want to be in that situation because I couldn't handle that.

Melanie Lynskey- Bharani Moon

“I stopped throwing up, mostly. It took a while. But that was a big one. I had, for a very long time, been on this diet that was basically 800 calories a day, and if I ate anything over 800 calories, I would throw up,” she said. “I was never bingey. Sometimes I’d be starving, and I’d have another teacup of Special K. Then I’d be like, ‘Well, now I gotta throw it up.’”

Tila Tequila- Purvaphalguni Moon

On March 7, 2012, it was reported that Tequila had agreed to check into rehab after having reportedly "almost died" from an attempted suicide by overdosing on pills. The incident caused her to be hospitalized for a brain aneurysm. Tequila completed her rehab treatment on April 5, 2012.

Jeffree Star- Purvashadha Moon

images of him self harming once went viral

Till Lindemann- Purvashadha Sun

he's known for his SH scars and has even written poems about it in German??? its called "The poems: Knives on silent nights"

Portia de Rossi- Rahu in Purvashadha 2h

she's struggled with an eating disorder

Padma Lakshmi- Purvaphalguni Sun & Moon

"When filming "Top Chef," I consume about 5,000 to 8,000 calories a day,'' she wrote. "I typically gain anywhere from 10 to 17 pounds every season. Once I get home, what's taken me six weeks to gain takes me 12 weeks to take off. It's always a nail-biting extravaganza at fittings, praying that a few pretty dresses that came down the runway on a teenage model who is a size 0 will miraculously fit my 40-something body,'' she wrote. "Getting ready for the Emmys is always fun, and it's truly an honor to be nominated. But at the same time, in spite of my high metabolism, I worry each year that I'm not going to fit into anything nice. So, this year, I've decided my weight will not be my focus,'' she wrote. "If I need a bigger dress, so be it. That one day — or any day — on the red carpet isn't nearly as important as making sure my daughter doesn't measure her worth by her dress size."

i guess this is a more positive manifestation of Venusian self image struggles

Jessica Alba- Bharani Stellium (Sun, Mercury & Venus)

“I was meant to feel ashamed if I tempted men,” she said. “Then I stopped eating a lot when I became an actress. I made myself look more like a boy so I wouldn’t get as much attention.”

Katie Couric- Purvashadha Sun

“I wrestled with bulimia all through college and for two years after that,” she shared with Lovato while interviewing her, per Glamour. “I know this rigidity, this feeling that if you eat one thing that’s wrong, you’re full of self-loathing and then you punish yourself, whether it’s one cookie or a stick of gum that isn’t sugarless, that I would sometimes beat myself up for that. How do you have a healthy relationship with food, and say, ‘You know what, I can have one cookie and it’s OK?’ That is such a huge thing for people who wrestle with this.”

Zayn Mailk- Purvaphalguni Moon

 In his 2016 autobiography, Zayn, he shared it would sometimes cause him to go two or three days without eating a single bite of food. “Something I’ve never talked about in public before, but which I have come to terms with since leaving the band, is that I was suffering from an eating disorder. It got quite serious, although at the time I didn’t recognize it for what it was,” he wrote. “When I look back at images of myself—before the final tour—I can see how ill I was. The workload and the pace of life on the road put together with the pressures and strains of everything going on within the band had badly affected my eating habits. Food was something I could control, so I did.”

Zoe Kravitz- Purvaphalguni Moon conjunct Ketu

“I think it was part of being a woman, and being surrounded by [fame],” she said. “I think it was definitely about being around that world, seeing that world. I felt pressured.” After playing an anorexic character in a movie, she hit her lowest of lows and was so malnourished that her immune system shut down. Months later, she decided to make a change. “I just felt it was different,” she said. “I don’t know… if a f—king spirit came over me and said: ‘You have to stop.’”

Mel C, Purvaphalguni Rising

"When I was in the Spice Girls, the stress of suddenly being thrust into the limelight led me into an unhealthy relationship with food and exercise,” she told The Mirror in 2012. “I became obsessed about what I ate and I cut lots of food groups, like carbs and protein, out of my diet. I survived on fruit and vegetables and little else.”

Nicole Scherzinger- Mars conjunct Rising in Purvaphalguni

"I really struggled with feeling like I fit in. I even had a hard time feeling like I fit into my own skin. I was really hard on myself and had a lot of struggles with self-esteem and a lot of insecurities,” she said. “Later on, that resulted in me having eating disorders because of my body dysmorphia.”

if you're reading this and struggling, you're not alone. please get help!! its not too late to turn things around!! youre so strong and you can do this!!

[inkofthebrain]

Imperial

[Paul Atreides x F!Reader] 1468 words

Paul Atreides, Duke of Arakkis, takes the hand of the Emperor’s eldest daughter for the throne, yet neither are pleased. They know they must learn to be civil, but what will it cost them…

Tags: post-Dune 2, strays from book canon, no use of y/n, dune typical everything, Corinno!Reader, slow burn, enemies to lovers kind of? (More strangers to lovers tbh) ARRANGED MARRIAGE TROPE, not proofread LOL

Warnings: mild use of the voice on reader. Dune typical themes, motifs, and actions. Jessica being Jessica….

A/n: this chapter goes from 0 to 100 plot wise: be ready >:) sorry 4 whiplash… || Thank you for all the support! I upload these chapters as i write them so apologies for the spontaneous new chapters. My request are open for one shots and more!

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masterlist

Three———

The following weeks with the Atreides are spent planning, discussing politics, and all the while you continued to silently observe Paul and his mother.

There are two things you are certain of. One, Bene Geserit have been at work, a congregation of women who you have always been weary of, and two—their plan had gone horribly wrong. Paul was the byproduct of a story not of his own which he, or should I say his mother, has appropriated for political power.

“Abomination”

Your fathers truth sayer’s words ring through you ears. You are terrified for what is to come, you gaze out of your bedroom window at the sloshing sea lapping at the edges of the cliff.

The nightmares about your soon to be home still plagued your nights, you were getting less and less sleep and as the wedding grew nearer your exhaustion grew with it. You prayed Arrakis would kill you quick.

You and paul spent hours in the Caladan meeting room, discussing the various political forces across the galaxy, alone and with both the Atreides and Imperial advisors. the details were complex, and Paul's understanding of the universe was quickly expanding by the day.

He learned about the various noble houses, the political factions within the houses, the imperial courts and their complex bureaucracy, and the many conflicting religions and belief systems across the galaxy.

This was just the basic information. the true power came from analyzing and understanding the social complexities and hidden motivations of the various players. Paul knows he must oblige with the current way things are running before slowly putting his own reforms and systems in place.

As you taught him the complex workings of the imperium and its politics, you realized his intelligence was unmatched. It was as if he absorbed the information like a sponge, taking it all in and putting it to use. his natural abilities coupled with his hard work and dedication made him a formidable political force.

You sensed that his thirst for knowledge and a desire to understand what drove the universe was insatiable, just as yours was.

You had grown closer to Paul but your shared disinterest in the Marriage lingered. You did not care for marrying a stranger, that was bound to happen, it was the circumstances of your engagement that lit an unpleasant fire in you. Paul, on the other hand, was clearly longing for something, someone, he knew he could not obtain.

You both were children who were manipulated, selected, and bred for this. And now as adults you must face your unnerving future.

Duty is everything in this world.

———

The day of the wedding was a week away, but the planning began much earlier. The ceremony was highly anticipated by the imperial court and the noble houses. rumors were rampant, various debates and gossip spread like wildfire. It was clear that this wedding was much more than a marriage of political convenience. It was a pivotal event for the empire, one that everyone would be watching closely and analyzing under a microscope.

As you walked to the dining hall, Delia at you side making occasional small talk, you mind was racing. You had compiled a highly educated theory based on observation and the small bits of Benne Geserit secrets you sister had let you in on. You were determined to gather more data to support this.

Jessica sat at the head of the table, Paul sat to her right and you sat to his left. The three of you were discussing the political ramifications of the wedding, how they would be viewed by the various noble houses and imperial courts. Your discussion was respectful and polite, but under the surface there was a tension, a subtle underlying pressure, that nobody acknowledged but was very present. After clearing her throat and waved the guards out of the room.

Your stomach dropped as she looked to you "Now, there's one other matter we've yet to discuss." She turns her attention towards you and looks straight at you, with a serious look on her face.

Jessica continues. "I am aware you understand the political nature of this union, and you understand the political implications of the ceremony itself. But what isn't discussed enough is the reality and expectation of the marriage after the ceremony. The two of you are to consummate the marriage immediately after, and the child that results from it will have enormous political implications. Do you understand what i'm saying?"

You almost choke on your wine at her boldness. Paul glances at you, he is alert to the seriousness in her tone, the way she is careful to drive home this specific point.

Still watching your reaction, she finally resumes speaking. "The consummation is expected to immediately produce a child. The pressure will be immense, and I am asking you to treat this with the upmost seriousness. The birth of the child will create a political shift that will alter the galaxy for generations. I trust you understand the gravity of the situation at hand? Correct?”

You take a large swig from your wine glass. “May I speak freely?”

"Yes, by all means, speak freely.”

You take a deep breath. “I have not been trained by the Bene Geserit like my sister so I am not privy in the ways” you pause. “But from my observations I have compiled a theory. There is a plan, a plan greater than us all. And you, Lady Jessica, set that plan on fire by giving the late Duke Leto a male heir. Yet they allowed you to become a Reverend mother after disobeying the high order.” You pause, watching her reaction. “Now you must scramble to solidify your disobedience into the prophecy”

Jessica is frozen for a few moments, eyes locked on your own, trying to hide the surprise you've seen through. It's clear that you've struck a nerve here.

Paul leans forward, his eyes locking onto yours. "This is impressive. Very impressive." there's a glimmer of admiration in his eyes, and the slightest of smiles tugs at the corner of his mouth.

“I assume I am correct then?” You look between the two

Jessica finally nods, a hint of a proud smile on her face. "You have struck at the very heart of it. My disobedience is not my own, Paul was set to be the bridge between the Bene Geserit and Atreides... and the imperium's entire future. And because of my actions, that entire future has been brought upon us prematurely. We have a plan, it is true. I will ensure that paul's inheritance of the empire remains intact. But you are key to that plan, and you must comply with my direction on this matter."

“Tell me everything.” You demand, your temper growing short as your heart starts beating faster and faster. “This is my life and the legacy of the Imperium!”

She leans forward, her intense gaze meeting yours. there's a firmness in her eyes, and she speaks with a sense of conviction. "Listen to me; if you wish to ensure your safety and the safety of Paul and the empire, then you will need to trust me. Do you trust me?"

“No!” You yell, “You made your son a false prophet and I refuse to go along with it until I am aware of every detail of this plan.”

“Calm yourself and listen” Jessica demands, her voice is dark and distorted. You are enchanted instantly—She has used the voice.

“Mother…” Paul says, guilt pricks at his soul as he watches your face go blank, but Jessica ignores him.

"I will not tell you everything at this very moment, but trust me, you will see it all in time. Just like I have, just like Paul has. There are some things that are necessary to keep from you until that time. I will tell you what you need to know, nothing more and nothing less. does that sound acceptable to you?"

Her hold on you breaks and you look to the mother and son in disgust. Everything about this woman is fabricated so she may complete her plan, a ploy in which you are just a mere stepping stone. Rage runs through your entire body with such velocity that you feel sick. You sit in silence.

“Do. You. Understand?” Paul’s voice is stern and startles you and you nod your head.

“Good” Jessica says flatly.

You turn your head to look out the window, closing your eyes while taking a deep breath you attempt to collect yourself. Paul and Jessica are staring into you. You can feel it.

———

Next chapter

🍾 Taglist @aoi-targaryen

[l3viat8an]

Simon corruption this, Simon corruption that. You know what I want? A MC who used to believe heavily in their Christian faith, only to be corrupted by the demon brothers.

Like?? They get to experience all the things they couldn’t before?? And they just think ‘huh, I should’ve sinned earlier in my life’

I feel like everybody talks about the brothers corrupting MC at some point- but since you’ve brought up the topic!!- 

MC is dealing with demons after all, it’s in their natural to try and corrupt humans! Even better if the human came to them, still fully believing in their religion being right.

And the best part for the demon brothers is the fact they can treat this like a game! Who can make you indulge in his sin the most?- after all it’s no fun to work together in corrupting the new human, not when he could push and spend time with them alone to make sure MC indulges in the right sin.

Like with Lucifer; pride is a wonderful feeling, at first. Even if MC has none he’ll help them find something about themselves to take pride in. Maybe they’re really good in class or maybe a really good cook. Whatever it is he’ll explain how good they are at it, how they should take pride in their talent, build them up and watch them bask in his sin.

Or Levi; everyone is envious of someone else. What’d even better if if you’re envious of him!!! Maybe he has a really rare anime figure or something in his collection that MC wants I couldn’t think of many reasons to be jealous of Levi tbh- No matter what it is, Levi can find out and he’ll bring it up whenever he can. Reminding MC about it and getting to be right there when that nasty little feeling sets in.

Asmo; is one of the most dangerous with his sin because he’s so open about wanting MC to indulge it in…..Indulge in him. After all, lust can feel so good!! MC just has to let him guild them~ show them the best ways to let lust consume them~ he makes such sweet promises of how good he can make them feel, and all the fun they’ll have together!! It’s almost too easy to charm them with all his sweet words, he doesn’t even need magic.

[omagpies]

(Not sure if you wanted us to send in asks or do reblogs when you reblogged the art style assumptions ask game and I somehow didn't register that it was an ask game until just a bit ago, so I'm doing both. I hope that's alright.)

From your art style, I feel like you liked webcomics and mixed media comics when you were younger. You also watched some cartoons where some characters' mouths wouldn't move when they talked. You have shared a house with cats at some point in your life, and like/liked memes. You go on nature walks, but not often. You have an odd relationship with religion, but like mythology. You will stab anyone who sees art as a talent instead of a practiced skill. (That last one probably isn't literal. Probably.)

Hollow let me answer this bit by bit

> I feel like you liked webcomics and mixed media comics when you were younger.

No to the former, yes to the latter; i mentioned in another magpie lore rep that i don’t have the attention span for webcomics, unfortunately :”3

> You also watched some cartoons where some characters' mouths wouldn't move when they talked.

I can’t say anything jumps to mind tbh xD what kind of cartoons would that be?

> You have shared a house with cats at some point in your life, and like/liked memes. You go on nature walks, but not often. You have an odd relationship with religion, but like mythology.

Fair enough :)

> You will stab anyone who sees art as a talent instead of a practiced skill. (That last one probably isn't literal. Probably.)

Yes. My response to any sort of ‘augh i could never, i don’t have the talent’ is invariably:

[handweavers]

"the skin of religion" by s. brent plate is one of my favourite pieces of writing on art & spirituality, i always go back to it. such a foundational work for me tbh

["The skinscape of religion stands at the crux of the matter, the heart of religion: it happens at in-between, mediated places. From this focal point, it unfolds outward to become the foundation stone in the construction of social-sacred space. Recall Lefebvre's comment: "Within the body itself, spatially considered, the successive levels constituted by the senses [...] prefigure the layers of social space and their interconnections." To understand religion and its places, we cannot merely operate through third or fourth order disembodied hermeneutics regarding texts, doctrines, or previous relatable experiences. Neither can we submit that so-called "mystical" and "im-mediate" experiences occur without the mediation incurring through one's cultural environment. Neither is it enough to iconographically study the visual arts, or phenomenologically investigate ritual movements and extract from them a system, disregarding sensual encounters with the works. Finally, to suggest that the new cognitive sciences can describe everything for us is also bound to fail for it often lacks the ways cultural environments shape cognitive processes; hard wiring is always a little bit soft.

Unpacking the chart more, in the first instance the skin (a synecdoche for the senses in general) is to human cognition as the medium is to the message. (And I am here conjuring McLuhan's hyperbole that the medium is the message.) The senses are the media of the body, the channels through which understanding occurs. The senses do not merely influence cognition, but become the thought itself. Beliefs, and conceptions of super natural/transcendent higher powers are not possible to be disentangled from sense perceptions, nor from the media in which religious conceptions occur. If, as George Lakoff and Mark Johnson have observed, there is a bodily basis to metaphor, there is likewise a bodily basis to mythology, to the stories and proverbs and ethical commands of sacred texts, and to sacred symbols. The sensual body is not relegated merely to the ritual and behavioral aspects of religious life, as is commonly posited. Rather, the body pervades all aspects of religion."]

[panlight]

hi! i’ve been really enjoying hearing your thoughts on the whole “olympic coven” thing (tbh it wasn’t something i had really thought about a lot before — i always just thought of them as “the cullens” lmao so i’m learning lots of new things)

but omg let me just say re: your possible alternative names post — “st. carlisle and his disciples” is canon!!!!!!! to me!!!!!!!!

i feel like to a lot of the other vamps the cullens do seem kinda cult-y, and even to the ones who know/like carlisle, it does kinda feel like there’s a little bit of an eyeroll and a “yeah my weird friend carlisle who likes helping humans — strange but charming i suppose”

i guess maybe it wouldn’t be like an “official name” but i absolutely 10000000% can see other vamps calling them that casually, or maybe it’s one of those things that was a joke one time and then it stuck

anyway, i just wanted to say that reading “st. carlisle and his disciples” sent me into absolute hysterics and then i was like “oh shit that’s so good tho like that’s literally them”

i hope you have a lovely day!! 🥰🥰

I'm sure I'm not the first person who has used some variant of that, but I find it so funny too and it seems like human nature--or, well, vampire nature--that Carlisle's whole deal would rub some vampires the wrong way, or they'd be inclined to tease him.

I sort of imagine it really started in Volterra, with its proximity to Rome/the Vatican and the seat of the Catholic power. Carlisle's not Catholic, but I'm sure to ancient vampires who pre-date Christianity, that distinction is hardly important. "The Vatican's that way, Your Holiness," etc.

I also suspect that early on Carlisle was probably a bit more "preachy" in the sense that he was 'young' and native and idealistic and the first few times he met another vampire he had probably assumed they'd be THRILLED to learn the Good News that animal blood was enough and they didn't have to kill people. And he'd give them this pitch that probably sounded like the vampire equivalent of someone knocking on your door and trying to convert you to their religion.

There's also this thing people do where they get kind of . . . defensive, in a weird way, when they meet someone who opts out of doing something that 'everyone' else does. For example, I don't drink alcohol. Not for religious or moral reasons, but more about family history, mental health and a genuine lack of interest. But some people get SO WEIRD when this comes up, like they think I am judging them for drinking or think I think I'm better than them for not drinking. And I imagine Carlisle gets this from other vampires, too that even if he's not proselytizing, other vampires still get this defensive reaction and respond with "okay St. Carlisle we get it, you're pure and holy and we're soulless demons."

But yeah, pre-BD I wouldn't have guessed he has as many friends as he does; I had kind of gotten the impression that only the Denali coven and Aro liked him and everyone else found him kind of annoying, the Ned Flanders of vampires. BD paints a different picture of vampires who like him, would risk dying for him, but I imagine there's still an element of teasing there, especially with the likes of Siobhan and Garrett. Maybe less the off-putting religious zealot who tries to convert you and more like the weird hippie vegan friend who lives on a commune. Nice guy, means well, but super weird.

[saltedcaramelchaos]

HEIROGLYPHS BY THE OH HELLOS LYRIC ANALYSIS JUMPSCARE

I might start doing these :0?? I love The Oh Hellos' lyrics very much and love to ramble about them, and figured some of y'all might appreciate that lol (lookin at you @thelingering >:3)

Going stanza by stanza because why not

-

Stamping your heels along with the drum Praying the serpent's underneath one of them Like there's some villain left to defeat Instead of a dance with a rhythm and beat

"You've been too busy getting distracted and looking for an enemy to pay attention to what really matters" smh my head... the oh hellos calling me out.....

-

'Cause you've been too busy thinking ahead Of where we're all going after we're dead To maybe consider our bodies are worth More than the dust that we can return

To the ground again We turn that old wheel round again

I think this one is about getting lost in philosophy, kinda? Like- we don't need to worry about what will happen After, we can just enjoy our mortality! Our bodies are worth more than what they will be once we're gone!

(personal religion side note, my denomination believes that as part of the Second Coming all our mortal bodies will be given back to us, having been made perfect, for us to enjoy through eternity; so I really like this line c:)

Also, their wheel of time(hehe)/tradition metaphor! I'm sure that won't come up again!

-

Well, even the great celestial hieroglyphs Are bodies of dust illuminated, and if The heavens can be both sacred and dust Oh, maybe so can the rest of us

I feel like this stanza speaks for itself tbh. WE ARE THE SAME AS THE STARS!! EVERYTHING IS BEAUTIFUL!!!!

-

'Cause I've seen the line of ocean and shore The tumbling tide of water and soil And I've seen the day's fading begin The gradient wake of the sun that spins

Around again It'll burn that old wheel down in the end

*surfer dude voice* i've seen it, man. the ocean, the tides, connected to the moon... the gradient wake of the sunset.....

also not me thinking about sunset new beginnings simultaneous with endings imagery. and the sun going around in a circle that will burn that old wheel down. new habits and focuses will slowly overtake and be better than old ones... giggling and kicking my feet...

(also, just this and the last stanza's beautiful descriptions of nature make this one of my favorite songs of theirs :0)

-

thanks for reading !! Heiroglyphs by The Oh Hellos, go listen to it right neowwww (/nf)

[squiddy-god]

I was going to be mysterious but I decided not to. But I'm curious now who are your top 5 twst characters?? I can't stop thinking about it

Ooooo ok OK so I love so Many but here are my top 5 twst characters, with some reason

Azul! As chubby guy whos favorite animals are cephalopods azul has been my fave since day 1!

Lilia! I am vampire obsessed and he's so silly, I also love what we have seen with his past and being a general, fae+ general + vampire + father of two = my love

Rollo- now here me out- honestly I love him, I think he has such an interesting backstory and his interactions are so intriguing and complex. I feel like people need to realize that just like every other character he isn't his source character, like riddle hasn't literally taken off peoples heads come on guys (I have a cursed pride flag with Rollo on it) also I love characters with implied religions trauma

Vil! I used to not like vil as much but he's grown on me, I like characters who are kinda mean tbh and I think vil has very interesting convictions/morals when it comes to looks, I appreciate that he takes the stance of enhancing peoples natural beauty and feature rather than changing them. Also the vampire card,,,lorde

Five is so hard but I think if I had to definitely put one I'd say malleus. I relate to the loneliness a lot, but I also love that he's just a silly awkward guy at heart! Book 7 has been ripping my heart out tbh

This has been very fun to Awnser!

[anamericangirl]

Tbh it feels kinda isolating being an atheist whose pro-life. And even then I'm still accused of being a violent misogynist Christian fundamentalist (I'm a non-religious woman) when I try to explain my reasons for being pro-life.

Yeah pro-aborts aren’t really the type for listening. They just like to try and put people in a box so they can just dismiss them right off the bat, which backfires for them because it just shows they are ignorant.

They just want to pretend every pro-lifer is a Christian so they can pretend the only reason a person would be pro-life is because they are religious because “it’s against my religion” is the only argument they even potentially have a valid point against. But if they ever bothered to listen to pro-life people they would know almost none of the reasons people are pro-life are religious in nature. They use religion to justify abortion more than pro-lifers use religion to argue against it.

But I’m sorry you feel so isolated. I think the reason they just go immediately for the attack with you is because you are everything they’ve decided pro-life people cannot be so if they let you talk then you’ll just expose their stupidity.

[youremyheaven]

Random Astrology Observations

Moon in the 1h is often talked about like 🥺🥺wears their heart on their sleeve🥹🥹uwu softie way but tbh Moon in 1h can make someone incredibly manipulative, they know just what to say and when to say it and know how to work their audience, this is perhaps why this placement is found in the charts of soooo many successful actors. ex: Leonardo DiCaprio, Audrey Hepburn, Henry Cavill, Charlie Chaplin, Priyanka Chopra, Antonio Banderas, Brendan Fraser, Benicio Del Toro, Jared Padelecki, Val Kilmer, Adrien Brody etc

I think this is a very manipulative placement, again manipulation is not in and of itself a bad thing, its what we use it for that matters. Some people completely lack the ability to manipulate at all (they don't have Moon influence)

2. Debilitated placements point to unconventional intelligence & wisdom in that area. I feel like they've cracked the code . They struggle a lot but when they triumph it's magic

3. I've mentioned this in other posts but many notorious sex offenders have Venus influence. Actions of this sort, as well as criticizing others' beauty, not taking care of yourself/surroundings, being shabby or disorderly in general are all things that harm your Venus. Abusing someone is the quickest way to ruin your Venus, you start corroding and that ugliness begins to manifest on the outside.

Ex: Harvey Weinstein looks like a cartoonish villain

4. As I explore the astrology content put out by others across different platforms, I've seen how the nature of the take themselves are so specific and unique to the person making them. Claire Nakti has a tendency imo to focus heavily on romance, sex and women's sexual behaviour and what sort of men they attract.

Going through her website, it's obvious that she's deeply immersed in occult & esoteric philosophy (all of which ties together with vedic astrology, philosophy, Buddhism etc because I truly believe that spiritual truths are universal and different schools of thought/religion/culture/mythology express these same truths in their own way with a LOT of recurring patterns) and Carl Jung as well.

It's studying Jung that helped me understand that what we see or draw from something is a reflection of who we are. As a beginner to vedic astrology, I initially believed Claire's one dimensional portrayal to be the all encompassing truth of a nakshatra until I started doing my own reading and research.

The things I talk about or the patterns I find are a reflection of me and I get a lot of asks about why I don't do xyz nak and honestly it's not as simple as doing research for an essay for uni, you kind of have to have a gnosis or innate knowing of its themes, something to base your search off of. And different naks call to me at different points. I come across content that describes certain naks in lights i could've never imagined which is to say that gnosis or inner knowing is an important aspect of studying anything esoteric, it kind of has to be revealed to you and what you see, what you can discern is a reflection of you.

5. you have to have a strong Rahu to discern patterns and similarities because Rahu is maya/illusion and a well-placed Rahu will allow you to see through those patterns/illusions. it will be very hard for someone without a strong Rahu to find similarities or common tropes, patterns, themes etc. Seeing through the veil or fog is Rahuvian.

6. Claire Nakti made a video about Venusian men where she said they were the ideal type of man and tbh that just confirmed my suspicion that she's Moon dominant because I think Moon dominant people are attracted to Venusians but in my humble opinion both Venusian men and Moon dominant men are some of the most batshit crazy people (manipulative and controlling at the least, psychopathic at worst) basically men who have a lot of Yin tend to be psychotic

7. I've noticed that Revati people tend to speak in a very verbose way. Nigella Lawson, Revati Moon is a really good example. Obviously other placements will also impact speech

8. Moon dominant people hate it when others share sob stories. They're the type to have the least amount of empathy for others and will either react in a neutral way or like they don't understand why you're saying this stuff at all. They're bored by other people's mundane problems and make it known as well. Not people you want to open up to.

My former friend was this way, I once cried in front of her and she showed zero emotion and didn't even try to comfort me lol

9. The way others treat us is the way we treat others. ik this is a basic take but karma is cause and effect. if you're dismissive of others feelings, other people will be dismissive of yours. what you do is what will be done unto you. Its so crazy to see how people who've been treated like shit by their friends will turn around and treat other people like shit. this is sooo basic but genuinely dont do anything to others that you dont want done to you.

[moonsquaremars]

Analysis of Ethel Cain's Natal Chart

Bonjour everybody,.

I've gotten a recent fascination, maybe even obsession, with Ethel Cain. She is probably the first musician that I've really felt like /gets me/. Like her songs, her lyrics, her vibes. Like it truly speaks to my soul. I actually discovered her from a youtube video suggested to me from the algorithm, but it wasn't even one of her songs. It was just a video of her talking about divinity and music and stuff and I just listened to it one afternoon and picked up strange, familiar resonances. Soon I'd listen to her music and fall in love with her. I feel like she gets it. She gets where I come from, growing up working class in the South.

I got the idea to do an analysis of her natal chart. I've been studying astrology for almost ten years now, so I'm just gonna spitball my observances for y'alls entertainment and consideration.

Alors, c'est parti.

Ok, so immediate impressions, we should start with her sun moon and rising, which are Aries Sun 5th house, Aquarius Moon 3rd house, with a scorpio rising. A 5th house sun makes sense to me, as well as all the other planetary energy here. The 5th house is the house of creative expression, leisure, children, recreation, and just like how one expresses their own ego and swagger through art or whatever. Think Leo. The fact she's a famous musician would make sense. She's expressing herself through her music. I think the Aries energy here probably made it come rather naturally to her. Fire signs just are themselves unapologetically in a way that I, a water/earth sign, admire. The Scorpio ascendant also makes sense to me. Y'all Ethel fans know a b**** scary. She's my little scorpio slytherin princess tbh. We love her for that. That's so scorpio. Intense, but refreshing. Another thing that sticks out to me is the North Node in Virgo 10th House. The north node is your life's destiny point, and the tenth house is the house of one's career, public image, and public life. It's like she was destined to be a public figure. Another part that sticks out to me is the fact that it is in Virgo. We all know a heavy theme in Ethel's music is growing up with a rigid, conservative religion. I feel like Virgo is a rather rigid, stiff sign. I have my moon in that sign so I would know ;) Having energy in the sixth house, or the house of virgo, also supports this. To speak on her moon, I don't have too many impressions other than maybe her moon being in the third house, the house of communication, would explain why she is so well spoken. She seems to articulate and express herself very well. Moon being in the sign of aquarius, which is a very far reaching sign, cast a wide net etc etc, would explain why she rose to fame so quickly with the Internet. The internet is a very aquarius thing.

Here are some clippits I got from the internet. I hope y'all enjoyed reading my interpretation. If you're reading this Ethel, I love u <3 and it's my dream you use one of my poems for a song one day. Feel free to check me out on instagram, @kedwardcook

XOXO

[perfinn]

the heat that drives the light

aemond targaryen x tyrell!oc - part iv

wc: 2.6k

summary: aemond eavesdrops on his wife, meets her dog, and suffers a moment of profound weakness

cw: NSFW, blind oc, masturbation (for aemond), feelings of guilt (implied to be based in religion?), tbh theres not much this chapter

masterlist, read on ao3, divider by saradika

The pain Aemond has been caused by the loss of eye is something he had long hoped to grow used to, but time and again failed to do. It is a constant ache, on some days a distant throbbing and on others an excruciating pain so overwhelming he cannot face the public for fear of them seeing him weak. Aemond wonders, as he watches his lady wife in the Keep’s gardens, whether Cecily’s blindness causes her any pain. Did the unnamed disease that blinded her leave any other damage? He supposes he could ask, if only he could stand to speak to her. 

It has been a fortnight since their wedding and all the celebrations that followed it, and he has barely spoken a word to her. She has spoken words to him, has tried many times, but he doesn't respond– cannot. He cannot even be around Cecily for how strongly she allures him. And she isn't even trying. It's wretched, bewitching, and entirely too distracting. He tells himself, rather, that he has more important things to attend to than speaking to a silly girl. 

And yet, here he stands in the cover of cloister shadows, watching her as she sits with Flora and shares a pot of tea. He could be doing anything more productive, but instead he stands here and eavesdrops on his spouse. Pathetic.

She looks beautiful, even from here, in a gown of green and gold brocade with her dark hair braided half up into a spiral on the back of her head. Her lilted voice carries through the Godswood so smooth and perfect, he’d call it sweet if it weren’t accompanied by Flora’s softer tones. 

“Is it not what you’d hoped?” says Flora. 

“I tried not to have too many hopes,” Cecily responds, her voice carrying up clearly to where Aemond stands. “I was told of him but not much. Besides, it is not so bad to have a husband who is aloof. People call me aloof too.”

“But aloof and aloof do not make for much of a relationship,” says Flora. “Not that you are aloof, in truth.”

“Perhaps not with you. Others think it so.”

“Others do not matter, do they?” Flora does seem to have some emotional intelligence. Aemond supposes it makes up for her lack of cunning, but it will not get her far in this world. “Who matters,” says Flora, setting down her cup and reaching to touch Cecily’s hand. “Is me. And your husband, should you wish him to matter.” 

Cecily laughs, intertwining her fingers with Flora’s. “You are sweet, Flora.” And foolish, thinks Aemond distantly. “I am happy enough with Prince Aemond.” 

Aemond knows that to be a lie. How can it be anything else? How can she be happy with a man who will not even speak to her? She must be lying to ease her cousin’s worries. She is not aloof, she is in fact a social creature and she must be utterly miserable with a husband who barely gives her the time of day. Aemond could change this in a heartbeat, sure, but he has not a clue where to begin. He would make a fool of himself if he tried.

Flora hums, lifting her cup to her lips and sipping slowly at it. “Well, I hope when you find a husband for me he is just as handsome with none of the aloof nature of the prince.”

Aemond ought to be insulted, but he’s not certain he can find it in him. He is more stunned by the fact that Flora believes Cecily is to find her a match, and not her own father. He knows little of Moryn Tyrell, but he knows perfectly well that the man is still alive and perfectly capable of making matches for his daughter. Surely he’d want to, after his son’s potential for an advantageous match was squandered by his joining the Kingsguard. Are the girls just delusional to their position in the world as women?

“My lady.” A new voice enters the conversation. A squire, perhaps a steward. He does not quite recognise the man speaking. Cecily’s head turns toward the new voice, and she stands. Flora follows, whispering in her ear. “I apologise for the interruption. But by your request, your dog has been brought from Highgarden.”

Cecily’s face brightens in a way Aemond has never seen before, her eyes alight with joy. “Bud is here already?”

Bud? He supposes a dog would make sense, a clever beast to help guide her so she does not constantly need Flora’s help. What he expects to see is a hound of some kind, perhaps something smaller than a hunting dog to better suit her needs, a retriever maybe. Only, the creature that bounds across the grass toward the two Ladies is nothing of the sort. Bud is a tiny thing with floppy ears and a shiny coat the colour of bronze, and Aemond finds him to be rather ugly. 

Cecily, however, crouches down to pick the dog up when it yaps it her, cooing at it as though it were her very own child she cradles it in her arms. Flora coos with her, scratching under its chin while its tail wags wildly. Who Aemond assumes to be the handler jogs in, exasperated for not having been able to keep the dog under control. Flora, at least, seems to notice him

“Cecily will keep him out of trouble, sir,” she says, assuring him. “He is a good boy, just excitable.”

Good? What good can he be? What purpose could the little beast serve but to sit on a woman’s lap and lick at her fingers? 

“I should like to bring him to meet my lord husband,” says Cecily, pressing a kiss to the dog’s round little skull. “Perhaps he’ll like him.”

Gods be good. Now Aemond must decide between lying to his wife and saying he thinks the little creature is sweet, or being honest with her and disappointing her again. He’s not certain he could bear to see that disheartened look on her face again. 

Some hours after Aemond takes his dinner alone in his apartment, a knock reaches his door, Ser Leo come to tell him his wife has requested his presence in her own rooms. Undoubtedly to introduce him to the ugly little creature she has the nerve to call a dog. He debates telling her no, and keeping to himself, but some force he cannot put a name to has him standing and following the kingsguard across the halls toward his wife’s chambers. 

Leo opens the door for him, announcing his presence. Aemond watches as Cecily turns around and smiles, lifting Bud from her lap into her arms as she stands. 

“Lord husband,” she greets him sweetly, taking a few steps towards him. “I hope I did not disturb you.”

“No,” says Aemond, watching as Bud settles comfortably in her grasp, hairy tail wagging lightly. “I had finished eating.” He hesitates before he speaks next. “And who is this?”

“Ah!” Cecily breathes, and Aemond hears the door click shut signalling that Ser Leo has left them alone. “This is Bud. When I came east I left him at Highgarden as I did not expect to be here quite so long, but my father tells me his business will keep him here for some time. So, I had this one brought here.”

The dog looks up at Aemond, squished little face tilting in curiosity. To sate Cecily, he reaches his hand out and lets the dog sniff at his fingers. “Does he serve a purpose?”

Cecily smiles wryly. “I am most certain you’ve heard of Reachmen’s love for lapdogs. His purpose is to be spoiled, I rather think.”

“Mmm,” hums Aemond, reaching to scratch under the dog’s chin when it has decided it trusts him enough to be petted. Aemond takes note of the collar he wears, soft leather dyed green and stitched with pink roses. “It looks as though he serves it well. Curious choice of name.”

Cecily smiles, and Aemond despises the way it tugs on his heart. “Leo thinks so too,” she says, gently smoothing a hand over Bud’s head. “I think it is sweet. Like Rosebud. Were he a bitch I might have named him that. But I have no wish to emasculate the poor pup, hm?”

She lifts him up closer to her so she can kiss his head, and he licks her cheek in return. Cecily laughs, and it's a sweeter sound than any bardsong. She bends over sets Bud down, saying firmly, “To your bed now.” 

And obediently, Bud trots over to a wicker basket with a soft cushion inside and curls up, perfectly content. Aemond cannot help but admire how well his wife appears to have trained the little hound. He knows small dogs to typically be disobedient and hard to train, yet Cecily has managed it without ever even seeing the thing. 

Or perhaps she had someone else do it, though Aemond doesn't think so. He cannot know why he thinks this. It just seems correct. 

“I hoped,” begins Cecily, turning back to face Aemond, her eyes seeming to find his. It's as though she looks right at him, Aemond could almost be fooled for a second. “That we might lay together tonight. It has been a fortnight since our wedding, and I-”

“Not tonight.” The words are out before Aemond can stop them. 

He cannot fuck Cecily, cannot put himself through it again and still manage keep his control. To be so near her naked body would drive him over the precipice of absolute madness, he knows it. He squeezes his eye shut, a dreadful pang of pain shooting across his nerves. He inhales sharply, trying to will the pain away. “We will be as vigilant as we must until your womb quickens, but I will not put you through such an act any more than is necessary.”

And there he has done it. The disheartened look takes up residence on her face once more, her head falling as though she were looking shamefully at the ground. What he would not give to read her mind. Can she not see he does this only out of respect for her? He is his wife, not some pleasure house whore he would degrade to sate his own carnal desire. 

She is a humiliation upon him. He knows this. He has not and will not change his mind. Nevertheless, the very thought of degrading her makes his stomach twist. He does not care what she thinks of, but he can't stomach the thought of her thinking so badly of him. What might she think of him if he were to treat her so callously?

(He already does, he treats her callously and unkindly. But he cannot see it.)

“I understand,” she says after a moment. “May I ask one more thing of you?”

Aemond hesitates. Wishes he could give her just a nod. “Yes.”

“I do not know what you look like,” she says. Aemond startles with the realisation. Sure, she has no doubt been told how he looks, what his features are, but she can't know what he actually looks like. The finer details, the shape of his face or the scars he bears. “If you’d allow me, I dearly wish to find out.”

“How?”

Cecily smiles, gently reaching out until her hand touches his clothed chest, fingers trailing up until she touches the skin of his neck. She steps closer, mere inches between them, and trails her fingers upward. Her soft fingers trace the length of his jaw, and Aemond watches as she closes her eyes as though trying to create a clearer picture of him in her mind. 

“Do you remember the way people look?” Aemond asks, not realising he’s spoken until the words are in the air. 

“In a broad sense?”

“No,” he murmurs. “Individuals.”

Cecily hums, fingers finding his lips and tracing them with a slow and deliberate touch. “I remember somewhat how they looked when I was a girl. I am told my mother and father look much the same. But I remember how Flora and Leo looked as children. The colour of their skin, their hair and eyes, I know has not changed. But we were just children then, so of course they have grown.”

Aemond wonders if she knows what she looks like. She may touch her face whenever, but is it the same? The soft pad of her thumb finds the lower end of his scar and she pauses. Her eyes open, and her lips purse as she traces upwards and finds his eyepatch. 

“May I?” She asks. Aemond nods, knowing she’ll feel it. Cecily carefully lifts the eyepatch off his face, and Aemond watches as her face shifts and she takes in the length of his scar. She’s difficult to read in this moment, he cannot tell whether she pities him or she fears the scar. He does not know which he prefers. 

She does not linger too long on the scar, or make her touch any heavier than a light brush. She moves on to his nose, satisfied with the shape and size of it if the smile on her face is any indication. After another moment she lowers her hands, searching for his and placing the eyepatch back into his palm. 

“Thank you, lord husband,” she murmurs, fingers lingering on his hand. Her touch sets his nerves on fire, but only in the best of ways. “You are most handsome. More so than I was promised.”

Aemond hums, tracing one finger over her palm, as though he does not dare touch her any more than that. “You are kind,” he says, watching as Cecily trails her own fingers up toward his wrist.

 Her intentions are not difficult to read. 

Soften his resolve with such an intimate act and proceed to seduce him into her bed. Has she no shame? Aemond pulls away from her and hears a startled breath leave her lips at the sudden loss of contact. 

“Goodnight, Cecily,” he says, turning away from her and heading for the door. He hears her huff in frustration but pays it no mind. He must get back to his own chambers. 

“My prince-”

“Stay with her,” Aemond says as he passes Ser Leo by, footsteps falling heavily on the stone floors of the Keep. He is ever thankful his own rooms are so close to his wife’s. As soon as he’s inside and the door is closed, he closes his eye, tearing off his eyepatch and throwing it across the room. 

Treacherous fucking body, he curses himself. He unlaces his breeches with deft hands and tugs them down past his swollen cock. 

He takes his length into his hands, biting his lip to suppress any noise. Heavens forbid anyone discover him doing this. He leans his head back as he begins to stroke himself, harsh breaths leaving his nose as the heat of Cecily’s touch lingers on his hands. He tries to imagine how her hands might feel wrapped around his cock, how different her soft palms might feel from his calloused one. How her cunt might feel wrapped around it– not the shallow thrusts he’d given her on their wedding night, but to feel her warmth envelop his cock entirely. 

A shuddering gasp leaves him before he clenches his jaw, forcing any sound back down his throat, as though he could draw back the gasp. His cock twitches in his hand as that treacherous image of Cecily on her knees invades his mind’s eye once again.

It takes little more than that image for him to reach his end, seed spilling into his hand as Aemond pants, feeling as though his knees might buckle. He opens his eye, looking down at himself with slow breaths. 

He knows not whether he can deny himself the pleasures of his wife much longer.

part v