#nature doesn't give extra points for being scary

[dicesmasher]

The Ecology of Owlbears

The concept of 'monster ecology' when thinking about your RPG setting is quite common, I think. Much supplementary material written for Dungeons and Dragons over the years was on this topic - see AJ Pickett's vast library of monster lore videos where he helpfully brings the contents of these old magazines to the current generation of players.

However, a thing I've noticed is lacking in these writings - and I do not fault the writers for this necessarily - is that they don't include much thought as to how a particular monster interacts specifically with other creatures in its domain, and how populations of these monsters might engineer the ecosystem.

I imagine that this subject is under-explored, partially because not everyone is an ecology nerd, and partially because exactly how a monster interacts with and affects its environment depends on what that environment is, and what else lives in it. Unless you're reading setting-specific lore, this is probably left up in the air on purpose for the DM and players to fill in the blanks.

How HARD your setting is, in terms of truly considering the implications of what you put in it, also has an effect. I've realised that, for all the deep lore and violent themes, D&D (especially modern D&D) truly lends itself mostly to what I'd call 'cartoon fantasy', where we go off primarily vibes, bright colours, and whatever sounds cool. Despite this, I will continue to endeavour to create a hard setting, with as few worldbuilding plot holes as possible.

In particular, I've been thinking mainly about the iconic owlbear to exemplify thinking about monster ecology. The 5e Monster Manual actually does a decent job of describing a plausible way this creature lives, being a strictly nocturnal hypercarnivore of forested regions. The idea that it announces its presence to all the prey in the area to flush it into ideal hunting spots is... less plausible. I mean, you'd expect things to get on high alert and start quickly increasing their distance from you if you start screeching at them, unless you can throw your voice somehow.

But what I particularly like about this description is that it gives the owlbear a unique niche that is clearly different from a regular bear. With the head of an owl, we would expect the owlbear to be a hypercarnivore rather than a generalist forager, and we would expect it to take advantage of its keen sight and hearing to hunt prey in the cover of night. This lifestyle is more similar to that of big cats, which we tend not to associate that much to the temperate forests we usually associate owlbears with (lynx, pumas and Siberian tigers notwithstanding). Bears and owlbears thus live without competition.

This said, we run into a bit of a conflict. We expect the owlbear to survive as a sneaky predator of the night, but we also expect it to be an aggressive, monstrous bruiser that has a vendetta against everything and everyone it sees - that's why it's a big scary monster and not an animal. This is the fantasy of the owlbear, a big, scary predator that can kill anything, but its physiology just doesn't lend itself to successful hunting. Nature does not award extra points for being scary and angry.

Bears are not built for stealth or agility, even though they can run fast in a straight line. Reflected by this, the owlbear lacks stealth proficiency, and we'd thus expect it to fuck up a lot of its hunts. This is made worse by the assumedly high caloric needs of such a bulky predator, usually depicted as significantly larger than a brown bear. Given a few million years of evolution, we should expect owlbears to be a lot sleeker, lighter and cat-like rather than bear-like.

Obviously, the owlbear is not an evolved creature per se - the two possible origin stories put it as coming from the Feywild (a realm where style over substance can actually work) or being the result of arcane hybridisation experiments. Still, if we expect owlbears to be able to breed and establish populations, we should also expect natural selection and competition to act on them.

I thus suggest a little tweak to owlbears. They could stay large, but be more lightly built than usually depicted. They should have stealth proficiency, and be silent predators of the night, like owls. Perhaps their feathers even help dampen the sounds they make as they move through the woods? They may compete with other nocturnal large predators, if sharing their woods with big cats for example, but with their powerful builds, they always win fights against other predators and can steal their kills. Perhaps like bears, they also catch fish when they can, giving them a backup or supplementary food source.

Their reputation for aggression comes down to feeling vulnerable during the day when they should be sleeping, and lashing out furiously to neutralise threats. Being so heavily armed and requiring large solitary territories to get enough food, they likely resolve any conflict with deadly violence, except maybe against other owlbears.

In the end, we've ended up with something combining the niches of big cats, and the extinct short-faced bears which are thought to have specialised in winning confrontations against other predators to claim their kills.

In terms of how owlbears affect their environment, their reliance on sound and sight means animals must take extra care to be quiet and hidden while sleeping, or foraging at night, to not draw attention to themselves. Their typical prey may also take pains to avoid locations where they can be ambushed easily - a landscape of fear. Other large predators would take pains to avoid owlbears, which might target them for food or steal their kills, though maybe mesopredators like foxes would follow them in hopes of getting some of the carrion that the owlbear generates.

Local people, like humans and elves, would avoid going out in the woods at night. Elves, who don't need to sleep and are still active at night, would busy themselves with home tasks, and only the most wary and skilled would try going out to forage. Camping in owlbear territory would be a big no-no unless you can find somewhere where you can't be easily ambushed, and an armed sentry was up at all times. If travelling through owlbear territory, it may be worth pushing through the night, quietly if you can, to get out of there as quickly as possible. Sturdy shelters might be set up at intervals along the roads, specifically to keep people and their horses safe from owlbears. And it goes without saying that a dead owlbear would make an incredible trophy for a hunter.

[sulumuns-dootah]

17. 10. Hickeys/Bitemarks - Gamigin

    ༺☆༻

⟡ Masterlist ⟡ 

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽Helltober '24☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

    ༺☆༻

If there's something you love more than rainy fall evenings, it's those evenings spent watching a cozy movie snuggled up with your little dragon. Gamigin felt extra brave that evening and so you're both watching something more scary than your usual go-to Tim Burton classics. Apparently there's one that peaked his interest because a little boy goes trick or treating and punishes those who don't celebrate Halloween?

You've been trying to follow the plot, but there's three separate storylines and with the demon getting scared at every jumpscare, it's kinda hard to focus. Besides, you now regret the choice of your snacks for the evening. To introduce a bit more variety, you'd prepared fruit skewers, amongst which was also a pineapple and so now its juices are digesting your tongue, making it slightly sting.

Still, despite the fruit fighting back, you take one by one piece of fruit off the wooden stick and pop them into your mouth. It takes a one, especially juicy piece of fruit to explode in your mouth to the point where some of its juice starts making its way down your chin and all the way down you neck, to get the young dragon's full attention.

“Oh, you're messy, Y/N! Huhu, let me help...” he chuckles and his tongue darts out to lick a bit of the juice off your neck. Then, a little hum of surprise at how sweet the juice taste mixes with the natural sweetness of your skin, leaves the curious dragon.

Wanting to taste more, he dives in with more fervour and starts sucking on your neck, accidentally scraping your skin with his fangs a few times. You can't help but moan a little from the sudden sensation, making Gamigin blush, but keep on following the trail upwards.

After he's done, the demon turns his head away with a grin, from the looks of it, completely clueless of what he's just done. And just like that he goes back to watching that movie of his, that makes him jumpy.

The movie goes on for another thirty minutes, when another scare happens and Gamigin seeks safety in the crook of your neck. It's just as adorable as he is, making those scared little squeaks of his. The taste of your skin from before still remans on his tongue and he can't help but to nuzzle his head into the same spot he's sucked on previously, to absorb your scent.

As his eyes lazily open, the young dragon lets out a loud yelp, “Y-Y/N! You're all bruised up! Are you having an allergic reaction to something?!”, and he's quick to frantically look around the room to find his staff.

“No, silly... Those are the hickeys you've given me.” you try to hide your amused smile. Aw, he really is that clueless, huh?

“B-but..! I'd never...!” there's a slight panic in his voice.

“Gami, you can calm down. These - “ you run your hand over the blue and black marks, “- mean that the person who gave them to you likes you very much.”

“S-so... All those demons who wear these have them because of love and not because they got into fight? But... They're always so scratched up too, like they took on a pack of lions...”

“Love has many ways of being shown.” you're not really momentarily equipped to give Gamigin the BDSM talk, but some day you might. How he doesn't know anything about these things even from his step-brothers is kinda puzzling.

“Ah, s-so... Would you mind if I gave you more hickeys over the rest of your body?” his blue eyes are once again full of mischief.

    ༺☆༻

Shhh... The prompt for tomorrow is Moaning ^^

[esamastation]

Part forty-one of Shizuroth, aka, the SOLDIER General's Self Saving Shizun.

Ao3 link.

Previous parts: twenty-four, twenty-five, twenty-six, twenty-seven, twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty, thirty-one, thirty-two, thirty-three, thirty-four, thirty-five, thirty-six, thirty-seven, thirty-eight, thirty-nine, forty

-

"... So there's Natural Materia that grows and evolves and eventually spawns an offspring of exactly identical Materia that can then make the exact same journey - and then there's Artificial Materia that… doesn't?"

"You're really asking the wrong person - Genesis is the expert," Angeal sighs, rubbing at his forehead. "But yeah, that's basically it? Artificial Materia can still level up a bit, but it doesn't evolve or make a copy of itself."

Sephiroth nods, fascinated. "So Natural Materia basically does mitosis?"

"I… don't know what that is?" Angeal says, sounding lost.

They're walking through the forest, in between random encounters - following a wide old footpath towards the charcoal burner's house. The path has the signs of wheeled traffic where the dirt has really been compacted, but it was a while ago, and grasses have started taking real estate on the path. Still, it makes for easier walking than the wild, untamed forest.

"It's when something - a cell - splits into two identical copies," Sephiroth explains.

"Ah, then no, that's not exactly it - the offspring Materia is unleveled and undeveloped. It has to be matured anew," Angeal clarifies.

"Still. Eventually the offspring Materia becomes identical to the parent. It's asexual reproduction, at least," Sephiroth muses, fascinated by how organic it all sounds. Like Materia is actually a breed of organism doing what all living things do - eat and reproduce. And artificial versions are basically infertile! "I bet Artificial Materia still needs to be somehow seeded by the natural sort."

Angeal shrugs, helpless. "You'd really have better luck asking Genesis. Maybe you should send him a message, asking about it."

"Maybe I will," Sephiroth says, determined, and then looks up. "Heads up - bugs."

One random encounter later, they're back to walking.

"You know, you could actually just try using your Materia," Angeal comments. "Might give you some insight on how it works. Or do you not remember how?"

Sephiroth waves a hand. "You just push energy through the thing, it's not that hard."

"Then why not do it?"

Because MP is Qi, kinda, and using Materia basically burns it away. Or, well, transforms it. Part of it goes into the Materia being used, aiding its maturation, and the rest of it is transformed into whatever spell the Materia is for. It's very easy to use and very powerful and incredibly energy inefficient. And since Sephiroth still isn't sure whether he wants to take in ambient energy in the way of the locals, he isn't sure his MP actually replenishes? And sure, he could take an Ether, a potion that replenishes MP - but that's basically like drinking raw Qi, and the very idea is a bit alarming.

There's just a scary level of energy transference going on in this place, and his core is unstable enough!

Also Sephiroth would rather figure out how to consume the Materia itself, like you'd consume spirit stones - except he really doesn't need any extra Qi at this point.

"Maybe later," Sephiroth says and looks ahead for a distraction. "Oh, hey, is that the house?"

Angeal gives him a look, amused, but lets it go and looks ahead too.

The charcoal burner's house is built near to the side of a mountain wall, with three enormous charcoal kilns half carved into the stone of the mountain. The house is more of a homestead, with a large area cleared and fenced, with the house itself in the middle, a couple of storage huts, a stall, and a big shelter for wood.

It's a bit rundown, though. One of the storage houses has its rooftop caved in, and there's long grass growing everywhere. The charcoal kilns look not just cold, but like something had been nesting in one of them.

"That's strange," Angeal murmurs warily, looking around. "It… doesn't look like anyone's been living here for a good long while."

"Hmm," Sephiroth hums, crouching down to examine a footprint in the dirt. It's fresh. "Someone has been here very recently, though." Someone in modern footwear - with treaded soles. Not that he knows what kind of footwear the people of Wutai favour, but, still…

Angeal looks at the footprint and hums. "Be on your guard. There's something weird going on in here."

Cautious, they examine the place and find no signs of any monster attacks. What they do find is more footprints, all by the same set of shoes, going strong in the place and by all appearances checking out the buildings.

"Looking for something, maybe?" Angeal murmurs as they consider the footprints.

"Hmm. I don't see any signs of monsters," Sephiroth comments. "Didn't the mission files say the place was already attacked? Maybe we're in the wrong place."

"Maybe…"

While Angeal checks their mission files and coordinates to confirm they're actually in the right house, Sephiroth tries to figure out why it was abandoned in the first place. It wasn't sudden, that he can tell - whoever lived here had the time to pack up. Everything that's left was put away very neatly, too.

"Well, this is the right place," Angeal says, following him inside. "Either they got the coordinates wrong - or the intelligence."

"I guess it could be a trap," Sephiroth muses, poking around the charcoal burner's old office in search of any paperwork. "If this is really where an informant once lived, maybe that informant turned into a double agent and set a trap."

"You really think so?" Angeal asks, sounding more interested than alarmed.

"Not really," Sephiroth shrugs and picks up a crumpled piece of paper, someone's attempt at a letter that had gotten ruined by an ink smear. Gently he spreads it out on the office table to read. "Or else it's a terrible trap…"

The letter is addressed to someone's uncle, informing them of the charcoal burner's good fortune. Apparently their family had been invited by the emperor to live and work in the capital. Lucky guy.

"Maybe we should prepare for an ambush, just in case," Angeal comments thoughtfully, adjusting his gloves. "What do you think?"

"I think they would've revealed themselves already, if it was the case," Sephiroth says. "And this is a terrible place for an ambush anyway. It's far too open."

"Well, good thing it's not an ambush!" a voice calls from the outside before Angeal can answer.

"... Sounds like something an ambusher would say," Angeal mutters, clearly recognizing the voice, and Sephiroth chuckles.

Reno waits for them outside, lazily scratching at a bug bite on his arm. "Congratulations, you have been summarily recruited for a secret Turk mission," he says and motions around them. "Your station."

"Turk mission?" Angeal repeats. "It was you who sent out that mission file?"

"Yep," Reno agrees, shrugging unrepentantly.

Sephiroth watches him warily. He'd not interacted with Reno or Rude much, Angeal had kinda covered for him there. He'd not entirely sure why the Turks followed them to Wutai. Maybe this is it.

Maybe this is as far as he gets, before having to commit, one way or the other.

Sephiroth braces himself. "What's the mission?"

Reno grins and points a finger at him. "Your mission, starting right now, is to stay here," he says, "And get your shit together."

-

Man I've missed ff7 world so much. The whole magic system from Lifestream to Materia to summoning world ending Meteors from the sky is just 😗👌

I'm playing og ff7 while writing and none of the sequelsprequelsremakes come even close to comparing with how delicious Materia in the original game is.

[microcosmicheart]

Your Eyes Tell

When your person looks into your eyes, what do they see and what do they feel?

1 2 3 4

Pile 1

This pile’s person is giving “You two against the world” vibe.

What do they see?

They might have chased after you for a bit before the two of you got together.

They like you ALOT.

I see images flashing through their head of all the times you two have laughed together. They really treasure you and your connection because they understand that your nature is more social so you’ve had plenty of opportunities in the past to have partnered or stayed with someone else.

What do they feel?

They feel that with you, their life is full of adventure but in a way that's due to your mysterious(?) nature. 

Like they have no idea what’s going on in your head sometimes but it doesn't scare them at all. They’re ready to do whatever, whenever.

They’re in love with you fr fr. It took a minute to get the cards cuz they kept sneaking extra ones in. They have so much to say about you <3

Have a lovely day <3

Pile 2

This pile’s vibe is kinda dark but not like evil or scary. More like adrenaline pumping at night, for whatever reason.

What do they see?

Cards flipped right out awww

They see their fate. The KNOW yall are soulmates fr.

The two of you might have had to overcome or fight through a few obstacles to be together.

They feel very deeply about you. Giving partner in crime.

Also getting that whatever you are/do (career) or have gone through, they respect you. Period.

I’m hearing  “I don't care. I don't care.” from them while someone else tries to twist your loves’ view of you.

What do they feel?

They can not fail when they’re with you.

Side note, you may be a bit ‘backwards’ to the people around you. Your person loves you all the same.

(They lowkey are tryna write you a letter)

They feel your reasons for the way you are, and they’re careful to have me not use ‘understand’.

They themselves feel their emotions veerrryy deeply, so when they watch you in all your ‘backward’ glory with context to your situation and time to truly sit with what you've shared with them, it's like to them you're normal.

I see people gawking at you, maybe because of something you’ve said, but there stands your person, simply waiting for you to continue <3

Have a lovely day <3

Pile 3

This feels like a young/childhood love. Like yall have been around each other for a minute.

What do they see?

Getting goosebumps. This is a ‘rush’ or ‘whirlwind’ of love

I think they've seen you go and grow through a terrible relationship.

When they look into your eyes they see someone who at one point beat themselves down with a proverbial hammer, and with that same hammer built the badass that they know today.

What do they feel?

Ya’ll may be older now or when you get together cuz the vibe just switched.

Like I said, they may have seen you at your best, worst, your most mid; cuz while I was pulling they would pick a card but throw three or four others out at the last minute. They've seen all of you, so naturally it would be hard to sum it up all in one card.

What’s interesting is this person isn't very good with words and yet…

“I've seen you while you were in the wrong, positive you were right. I've seen you confused and unsure of your stance on things concerning your self and well being. I've seen you bloom. Wilt. Sprout. Grow. I was by your side through it all and that's where I'll stay.”

Have a lovely day <3

Pile 4

Goofy ahhh couple!

Yall definitely singing at the top of your lungs together (and one or both of you be on that hoe fr)

What do they see?

First of all, you came out of nowhere. “Like a bolt of lightning.”

This group also might have some age on them cuz the songs and the way I'm dancing to them have 90s bounce to it.

They may have been manifesting you but not like “This is what im manifesting”. More in a way where you're just everything they could ever want in a partner “PEAK partner”

What do they feel?

I felt an immensely grateful energy before I even pulled.

You may have unknowingly freed them from a lot of their fears or maybe helped embrace a part of themselves the world hasn't been very kind to.

They feel free, loved, happy. <3

Have a lovely day <3

[sugar-omi]

Imagine mc giving birth to their baby. You know, Cove is probably panicking, Baxter pretending he's okay but at some point faints and our brave Derek letting mc crush his hand with theirs lol

And also I've seen a clip of a dude who just witnessed his wife deliver their baby and, with a face full of horror, he told her, "I am SO sorry, I won't do that again. " 🤣😭

I'm just imagining one of the boys saying something like that, in my head it's so funny

omg i almost missed this!!! im so glad you brought this up bc i love thinking abt how the boys are during delivery, especially cove omg (im sorry this is such a ramble... but also not sorry bc my brain worms are dancing in happiness at these thoughts)

cove:

even though you've had months to prepare for this and cliff n kyra has given cove lots of advice, paired with a lot of "don't freak out!" (sometimes followed by something freaky that happens during pregnancy or labor...)

he's prepared for this though. as prepared as an anxious first time dad can be. i mightta said this before, but whether you have him in the room the whole time or just to come cut the cord and hold the baby, is up to you.

if you have him in the room he'll let you hold his hand and he'll be holding yours back (he doesn't notice the pain of your grip for the longest...)

he definitely does what you mentioned and apologizes for putting you thru this LOL

after you give birth, he will do everything... he'll change diapers, put them down for naps, burp, wash, everything... because after that he needs to even the balance (if it was up to him, you'd never lift a finger after that, especially if you have multiple kids via birth)

HE'S ALSO OVERLY PREPARED

delivery bag? more like BAGS. mans has double of everything, he's PETRIFIED

also he runs to any place you want and buys you food while you're in labor if it's really long

and he stays with you up until its go time, then if you want him to wait outside he will

also he faints... or at least gets weak

if you have a c-section he's alrdy freaked out bc... omg they're taking a knife to you thats scary shit

but just natural birth? he's doubly freaked out because your body can do THAT??? you're literally pushing out a whole baby and he is awed but losing his shit honestly

would be babbling praises and encouragements (both for you and himself) n you can tell him to shut up its okay bc he's gonna laugh in the end anyway, but he'll probably end up going quiet bc he's trying not to be distracting and he probably saw something he wasn't prepared for 😬

probably starts crying the closer your baby gets to being out the womb, n after they're fully out and here he's bawling and just realized it but also he's trying to comfort n check on you first so you end up laughing bc he's fretting over you as if he isnt flooding the room

baxter:

mans is NOT CALM

tries to look calm, but he just looks constipated and he looks tired honestly

he's been losing sleep this whole pregnancy bc he's afraid of being a bad father, but he's so excited and ends up staying up at night talking to your belly so he just can't win

surprisingly dropped the collared shirts and slacks

mans is stuck in t-shirts and sweatpants or jeans

his hair is a mess too

omg he's napping when you go into labor

he jumps up, mismatched socks (either he's wearing an ankle cat print sock and a knee high sock, or he's wearing one sock. its bad n i think him wearing one sock is better (worse for him but hes fineeee))

the nurses love him bc he's running in and out bringing you food and runs back to get anything he or you forgot or might need

another over packer

honestly they're all over packers who are we kidding

this is where is wedding planner job comes in handy

has backups and plan b's for everything

and even though everything is right he brings extra just to feel better

won't be in the room if you want that ofc, but he psychs himself up to be in there

he's really scared n nervous, more-so than cove actually. but he wants to support you and if you want him in there, he's there. even if you reassure him he doesn't have to be there, he wants to be

he has to sit down while he's there, his leg is shaking and he's torn between watching whatevers going on over there and watching your face for any signs which.. doesnt really make sense since labor isnt like going to the waterpark but he has a kind heart <33

spends so much time looking at the baby... cove does too but baxter spends double that time

watches the nurses and doctors like a hawk whenever they mess w the baby

will curl up next to your bed and thanks you so much for giving him such a beautiful life, this is all stuff he never thought he'd have and he's so happy

derek:

he's actually the calmest one

he has 2 siblings and even though he was young when they were born, he has lots of experience with babies and he prepared

isn't that bad of an over packer actually, just extra baby stuff and some of the best snacks

but he'll still surprise you with your favorite food or takeout

he will do anything for you during labor, remind him to just sit down and hold your hand n stfu, thats what nurses n doctors are for n he really can't help much atp, its all up to you and the nurses+doc

holds your hand even though you might be hurting him. will just wince thru it or convince you to switch hands

will keep giving encouragement and either times it perfectly so he doesn't get on your nerves or you have to kindly ask him to shut up bc you're not playing ball, it isnt helping!!!!

also pulls a cove and does a lot of the work around the house and with the baby bc that was tough work, labor and carrying the baby? you deserve it!!!

ends up talking n holding the baby a lot, is probably a little scared since theyre so little and just holds their hand or looks at them

you sometimes wake up to him mumbling stuff to the baby, abt how happy he is, how he's going to take care of you both, how much he loves them...

carries everything outta the hospital by himself (by everything he means your hand and the baby, his family is probably dragging your stuff to the car bc they're here to help n make your life a million times easier and its literally a sleepover with nico around)

anyway. i need more dad!derek hc's now, specifically uncle nico and jorge, bc that is such a big brain thought

now this applies to all the boys honestly, i didnt even think abt it until now

but he helps you walk to the bathroom and put on all the pads n underwear n stuff if you need it

i remember seeing a youtube short where the woman said her fiance or husband helped her walk to the bathroom, spray her coochie w the water spray bottle, and with the underwear stuff

so don't worry about how you look or if it's icky because you're all sore and/or stitched up or anything like that because he's not paying attention, he just wants to help you in any way possible

[yelling-space]

CELESTE APPRECIATION post

I raerly see anyone mention her but i love her sm yes this is mostly like 98% hc shes only got like 5 lines in hole game what more do u want from me

anyways, my sweet sweet barely domesticated celeste :

-"Why did my husband come back with a child ,a dog ,a living skeleton, a man who can throw him around like he weights nothing and a knight(derogatory)" -Cahara's so wiped 4 her and honesty i would to if that was my wife, she def pegs him 2 btw i mean just look at him, my point exactly.

-gets along with Enki the most 2 everyone's surprise, there paper wight besties. & share a worrie for Cahara they will never verbalise as well a dislike for D'arc- i mean knights.

-celeste is d'arces first (and only) female friend, much to clestes own dismay.

-d'arce thought she was a gold digger at first, as you can tell they had a grate first impression of each other

-only trusts people about as far as she can throw them (rip rag , he can still man handle the group whore with ease tho so good for him)

-can not hold a convo with a child 2 save her life , the length of her mertanl intents extend to bringing the child 2 Cahara .

-she is not mother material but for some reason they're trying to keep a baby with a high infant mortality rate its funny

i think celeste probably didn't have great parents or a good role model, deadbeat drunkard parents that kicked her out and kind of left her to fend for herself & close of to the world and that's why she has such a disillusioned take on parenthood + where her own approach to children comes from but uh oh !! cahara wormed his way into her heart ! and who's to say his clear and utter devotion to this little girl cant win her over either i dont think either her or Cahara were going out of their way to get pregnant - it's like an unfortunate by-product of the nature of Celeste's career, and Cahara's love for her being what led to him being so willing to step up. i don't think either of them ever really thought about having kids, or at least didn't think they'd be good parents, but celeste getting pregnant or cahara bringing back a child is just the way life ended up going. it's the renaissance era, abortion methods are on par with childbirth in terms of deadliness anyway. she's just not going to have to keep risking her life via pregnancy if cahara goes out, gets enough coin to support them both, she's not going to be like every other peasant woman who's forced to become a broodmare because every 1 in 2 children fucking die before they turn 5. clesest being pregnant is just what ended up happening. the love in that is to do with their RELATIONSHIP, not their love for some idealistic family life. i think cahara wanting to give it a try is something celeste would think is really sweet and admirable, but she'd probly keep a lot of her more cynical thoughts to herself on the matter.

saying that i think they both have a lot of cynical thoughts about it really, but i cahara goes so quickly into "this is my wife, this is our future baby" because otherwise what's the point in taking on such a risky mission in the first place ? but if he's got a noble cause, then it might seem worth it, right ? it's that extra push of encouragement for him, even if it comes with a lot of scary things like the responsibility, being a parent, maybe settling down witch is a scary thought for someone whos always so used 2 being on the move

as for celeste ; she doesn't even know if she's going to make it through the pregnancy, or if the baby will. it's just another mouth to feed at the end of the day. she doesn't care about carrying on a legacy, or raising a child into greatness like so many others beg and plead of god to bestow upon their children. she knows she'd be a shit mom and she's hardly a loyal partner at the moment. but she loves cahara, and seeing that fear in his eyes when she told him, but also that spark of light, that little bit of joy, made it at least worth holding on for.

celeste: it's probably not going to make it anyway, i either risk death in childbirth or death in abortion methods, so. celeste: its getting me enough bank rn to keep myself healthy so we'll just see what happens i guess celeste watching cahara bring home an entire child:

okay cringe time over. i wont go into 2much detail about her relationship with the others though i think its a very slow process of her learning to tolerate get along with the creatures friends cahara brought back -as soon as celeste meets d'arce her mild suspicion and distaste for ragnvaldr will be replaced with her disgust for d'arce -think celeste would be pissed she wouldn't be able 2 pull cahara out of ragnvaldrs grip unless she stabbed him or something, witch shes both angry about it but also relieved since it probably kept cahara out of trouble in the dungeon (because lord knows her husband is a magnet for trouble) inside me there are 2 wolfs ; one is mmm hot stong wife carry cahara like a sack of pataos , the other is screaming at me that this is the 1600 and she would be starving and poor. so to compromise with myself im going 2 say : - physical speaking celsest is probly stronger then most women in her profession and could probly drag an unconscious cahara around then againg i also think cahras way ligher then someone of his build&carear should be shes stronger then enki (then againg who isnt) but cant match d'arces physical strength. saying that modern au Celeste would beat d'arce in an arm wrestle.

in-refence 2 my last post; celest is a child darkness, she has a barbie killer husband,there for. she deserves to be as much hater as she likes d'arce: you two are the healthiest couple i know who still have an avid sex life cahara: ASSUMPTIONS ! celeste: we're the only couple you know.

acholic wise i think celeste could out drink d'arce (and at least keep up with ragnvaldr for a little bit)

celeste: d'arce is a pain in the ass cahara: :confustion: :stress_smile: she means well babe cmon celeste: im gonna beat her with a stick cahara: ,, babe,,

cleseste is not payed enough 2 be d'arces therpist or help d'arce figure out she likes women (shes not payed at all actuly,she is simply trying 2 tolrate her husbands new freinds becuse she loves him but also only has so meny braincells she can lose in a day and conversing with d'arce seems 2 kill all of them)

celeste hears d'arce talk about jeanne once and instantly starts going "wow you loved a girl wow that girl who was like you in every way wow that girl who like. shared your morals. or something. wow tell me more about that girl" (stab stab stab metaphorically stab stab stab)

(about cahara getting arrsed and taken by the police) rag: you lack of concern,,, concerns me. are you not worried ? celeste: dogs always find their way back home.

- d'arce and cahara make the same enamoured and light-blush expression whenever celeste rages btw - celeste :handshake: enki taking the piss out of knights + a generally more cynical outlook on life & being cold bitches that secretly care about cahara a lot

(first time they all stayed the night) enki learning hes the favorite for once and he thinks its just the most hilarious thing to fucking happen local woman-lover put out by being rejected by hot scary wife, local berserker intimidated by what scary wife might do if she finds out what he did to her precious boytoy local shadow wizard ? on the floor ugly laughing because scary wife reluctantly asked if he wanted the guest bedroom.

celeste: YOURE NOT STAYING HERE PERMANENTLY. but youre allowed to stay overnight. enki: is this (gags) kindness ? oh my god. revolting. celeste: is that a yes or not you fucking worm enki: yesplease

[new-tella-us]

Aaaaaah, I just remembered the many mental issues that these incubi are definitely facing thanks to their upbringing.

Yknow what that means. Seduce Me Situations! (Cause I'm bored) What are the many mental issues of the incubi and how to both they and Mika deal with them.

Let's get the universal thing out of the way. Daddy Issues. Every single one of these guys has a different flavor of daddy issue.

James- I have already pointed out his perfectionist but it was mostly related to how he sees others. But do not get it twisted, any form of harsh judgement he has about his brothers, he is ten times harsher on himself! He will not allow himself to enjoy a nice afternoon if everything he has to do for the day isn't done and/or everyone he's living with isn't taken care of. He is not good at coping with his, it's how he lived for so long, it's second nature to him. Mika isn't taking that though and has a lot of days set just to take the load off James's shoulders. By god, this man will relax if it's the last thing Mika does.

Erik- What is being honest about your feelings? That's a bit overrated, right? At least, Erik thinks so. It's all about how to get what he needs. He speaks with a clear end goal to the interaction and will say almost anything to get to that end goal. Over time, he will learn to be more honest but he's been this way for so long that he has to rediscover himself. And that's scary. But he's making decent progress. Mika tries to help by simply giving Erik variety. Different activities, different talking points, different locations to be in. It helps Erik know what he likes and dislikes.

Sam- Well obvious thing here is anger issues especially if we're talking about canon Sam. If we include the lore I made specifically, we get an extra issues, identity issues and cynicism! He feels like he's less of his own person and more of just a combination of his mother and father. Plus, he's seen too much violence and has convinced himself that is "the real world" and not just the darkest parts of the world. Naturally, as he's been taken out of that harsh reality, he'll come to soften up but he also has to actively not feed into his confirmation bias. Mika helps by just being a good example of how good people can thrive in the real world. Though, of all the brothers, Sam is like...the second most mentally stable.

Matthew- He has a need to prove himself to others. Also mommy issues. Probably the most mentally stable of the brothers, his issues don't cloud his life as much as it clouds theirs. Though his insecurities do get to him. Being the smallest and physically weakest of the incubi means he over compensated with his magic and reliability. And even with that, Matthew wasn't given as many chances to be reliable. A final insecurity of his would be his jealousy. Mainly of James. In Matthew's eyes, he's just as powerful as James but their father outright dismissed him. He knows that he shouldn't care what his father thinks but even if he hates the guy, parental recognition is what almost every child wants. Mika helps by reminding him of his strengths and that he doesn't need to prove himself to anyone.

Damien- What issues does that boy NOT have?? Mommy issues, daddy issues, jealousy issues, self worth issues, PTSD, body dysphoria. Okay... let me explain that last one. Damien HATES the fact that he's a demon. He feels like demons hurt people while humans are more helpful and get to learn anything they want. He also feels like he, specially, hurts people but he wouldn't be able to if he was human. Does that not sound like dysphoria? The fact that he's no where near as critical of his brothers also helps my theory. Idk, when I've felt dysphoria over some part of me, I never notice it on other people. It's less "this is bad" and more "This is bad on me" and I feel like that's what Damien is. Tbh, I don't think Damien is coping well, he's possessive and keeps most of his issues bottled up. But hey, killing his dad at least brought closure. Mika is gunna help by listening to his issues, providing a safe environment for when he wants to talk and dragging his ass to therapy. She will be there for him but she not prepared to deal with the massive amounts of physical and psychological damage that happened to that boy.

Bonus! MIKA

Cause GOD Mika deserves a break.

Once again Daddy issues. Everyone suffers from it. Mika's is just a different brand of daddy issues. Going by my specific lore, David is a lot nicer to Mika but he still is shit at making it clear that he loves her. Plus he is still trying to get her to become the next CEO. So, like James, Mika's got some perfectionism. Plus her grandfather died and she is not given enough time to grieve before she has to move into his house and go back to school. Plus the boys and all the murderers coming after them. Mika is highly stressed. And, again, going by my lore, she also has mild depression! Yaaaaaay, Mika isn't having a good time. I think all the boys provide her a very similar benefit, a person she feels like she can lean on and trust. Her friends are nice but they'll move away at some point, but the boys are here to stay.

In conclusion- Daddy Issues. All of them have it.

[prof-ramses]

A Mammon Analysis Written By A Mammon Kinnie! :8D

It's time to make y'all love this magnificent bastard even more than you already do so we can finally have something just happen in this fandom!

First off, the analysis.

A lot of people seem to think of Mammon as "dumb" or "oblivious", when he's far from either. Mammon is actually a very intelligent and attentive person, but just like most subtle things about him, it can be hard to notice because of his eccentricities.

As far as I see it, Mammon views everything he does as an investment to some extent, whether it be a literal monetary one or one of time, effort and/or attention. This is also one of the big things that make him so relatable to me. It's also worth noting that as a flipside to this, he also sees any option he's presented with in terms of physical or emotional value and trying to maximize said value as much as possible.

Mam doesn't interrupt "Two Minutes Notice" not because he's stupid, but because insults don't truly detract from the value of him or anything he has, not to mention the fact that he could tell that a lot of people would be willing to buy the song, just look how many are hanging of Fizz's every word when he describes having a crappy boss.

Likewise, criticizing Fizz's weight is something Mam solely does because it helps profits and has no genuine personal issue with Fizz potentially getting chunkier.

This shows something else interesting about Mammon, he doesn't really want to do destructive things, people just keep giving him every reason to do so, he's not dangerous on his own.

Every action Mam takes that makes Fizz uncomfortable is a direct result of him catering to what the consumers want, whether it be religiously watching his spokesman's weight for the sake of keeping the skinny sex-bots accurate, or forcing a mentally unstable person to spend a lot of time socializing to get people to pay admission for a meet-&-greet.

There's also the fact that he runs Greed in such a way that benefits Hell as a whole way more than Ozzie and Bee do. Admittedly, he over charges for his products, but said products are up to snuff, you'd expect him to peddle cheap junk that falls apart almost instantly, but no, he makes quality products and just charges extra. He really is a shrewd businessman when you get down to it, and that's something a lot of people have sadly overlooked when discussing our favorite spider.

Which brings me to my next point, Mammon being a spider is actually really clever, assuming what I'm about to describe was intended and not just me reading too much into a cheap Australia joke. Spiders are often shown as eerie and a way of reminding the viewer of a piece of media that nature can be scary, and though they do some really weird and freaky stuff, that's also the beauty of spiders. They have some of the most innovative and distinct hunting patterns in nature, they're more of a neutral presence, just like greed itself.

I've seen many people claim in their analysis of Mammon that "greed can't be good" which is just demonstrably untrue, greed is really just any action that prioritizes bettering oneself, it's only destructive if you are willing to be destructive, but even then it can lead to innovation and broad positive change, even if someone is worse off because of it.

Lastly, I want to discuss Mammon's obvious need for personal affection, the big guy is blatantly touch starved and craves a close connection, I have a rather headcanon-y idea about the origin of this behavior and I plan to link to it once I post about it in detail, but that can wait. However, this does reflect that idea of value and investment, Mam has yet to find someone who is both pleasant for him to be around and whose company has a reasonable "price". I see many possibilities for exploring this facet of his characterization and look forward to seeing the discussion about it grow.

Stay tuned for my HCs and theories about his Stinginess! ALL HAIL MAMMON!

[gozine-translate]

Terminally-ill Genius Dark Knight - 171

171: The Rise and Fall of the Empire

"It’s not polite to ask your bride candidate to help out another woman, is it?"

Penelope von Arkheim said with a mischievous smile. The princess's beautiful golden eyes fixed on me. Her hair momentarily glistened, and although she was still young, hidden beneath her future beauty were sharp thorns. I involuntarily held my breath and briefly met her gaze.

'Thankfully, it seems like she’s just joking… but it’s still scary.'

It’s a joke from none other than the imperial princess herself. To me, it couldn’t help but feel threatening, so I had to be extra careful.

‘…Seriously, Penelope should really give up the title of [Compassionate Princess].’

I wondered how someone could be called 'compassionate' while being so good at tormenting people. But I kept my mouth shut. Even someone as clueless as me knows when to stay quiet.

Penelope closed her eyes for a moment, then opened them again, giving me a mysterious smile.

She calmly spoke.

"Anyway, I understand your proposal and the reasoning behind it. You want to keep the First Prince, Louis, in check and also control the Goff Merchant Group that’s closely aligned with him… So, you think it would be a good idea for us to ally with the Rivalin Merchant Group, right?"

"That’s correct."

"But, before I accept your proposal, we have a few internal issues to resolve, right?"

Here it comes.

I calmly took a sip of the tea in front of me. Then, placing the cup back down, I answered calmly.

"I’m well aware that the current representative, and head of the Rivalin Merchant, Eleanor de Rivalin, is not on good terms with the Empire."

"Exactly. Eleanor. She doesn’t support the imperial family. Not just the first Prince, Louis, but she doesn’t support me either. So why would I ally with her?"

In other words, what's the benefit for her?

Besides.

'I heard recently that Eleanor openly declared at a major merchant meeting that there was no hope for the imperial family and revolted against them.'

I can understand why. Eleanor despises war. As a merchant, war could be the biggest opportunity to make money, but she has deep doubts about the Empire’s militaristic policies. She also judges that Princess Penelope doesn't have a capability to prevent this. That’s why she, uncharacteristically, spoke a bit hastily.

She predicted that if the Arkheim Empire continued, a period of war would inevitably come.

When that worst time arrives, a lot of blood will flow, so she suggested to abandon this country and find a new path with the people.

Perhaps it was the wisest decision. If we look back at the original storyline of Inner Lunatic, When Penelope, First Prince Louis. And Eleanor all engage in a fierce power struggle, one of the 72 demons, Amdusias, begins to establish his influence. He is an impossible demon to defeat at this point, and in order to revive Baal, he will awaken many more demons along the way, causing the situation to escalate… In the process, one of the three. Penelope, Prince Louis, or Eleanor, loses their power and falls. In such a dark time in the main storyline. Eleanor's decision to remain neutral might have been wise.

'Though, of course, Princess Penelope didn't think so'

Someday, they would want to deal with the Rivalin Merchant Group. Naturally, the imperial family would be keeping an ear on these matters too. Regardless of how skilled and capable Eleanor was as a merchant, the Arkheim Empire is still the imperial family. Challenging the hierarchy of the imperial family is unacceptable in any form.

Because of this, the public seems to have started to divide. There's tension in the academy, and those who used to stay by Eleanor's side are starting to leave one by one, which is also probably the reason.

At any rate, they are a bunch of cowards.

….The problem is, I somehow ended up having to defend the person I was just badmouthing. Damn it.

"I’m aware she recently declared her opposition to the imperial family. I have ears too, after all."

"And yet you’re asking me to rely on Eleanor’s merchant group? Why?"

"Because it’s the best option."

I glanced at Penelope, who frowned slightly, and barely managed to swallow the dry lump in my throat. Her gaze was just like a supreme ruler, mixed with a bit of fear. This is when she’ll show it right?

Her future, where she'll transform into a [Cold-Blooded Princess].

Penelope still continued speaking in a calm tone.

"I don’t understand. Why would a smart fox like Eleanor, do something as turning against the imperial family?"

"Of course to reassure the First Prince."

"What?"

“Her insult towards the imperial family and her statements. I think they are definitely problematic too, but they are also true.”

— [Master of Acting] activates strongly.

"Eleanor de Rivalin may seem like she’s only acting in her self-interest, but she’s concerned about the safety of the people."

"That’s sophistry."

"No. If she were really just acting for her own benefit, she would’ve allied with another nation to keep the Arkheim Empire in check. But she didn’t do that because her attachments to the city where she and the people grew up, not the nation itself."

That was the truth. Why did Eleanor go out of her way to speak about her distrust in the current Arkheim Empire to the nobles? In the end, there was just one

Arkheim, which claimed to implement policies for the people, wasn’t actually doing so. The disaster caused by [Esteban the fool] only deepened the divide between the nobles and the commoners.

From this process, at the very last moment. If we follow the original story, Eleanor was forced to choose between the two, but she hasn’t taken a stance yet. The meaning is clear.

She still hasn’t given up on this empire. She doesn't want to witness with her own eyes, the countless tragedies a new war would bring.

In fact, to prevent the downfall of the Arkheim Empire, she acts as a buffer between the nobles and the commoners while managing her merchant group.

'Goff Merchant Group and Rick. Along with the First Prince took advantage of this situation. Rick probably played a main role.'

In the original story, he never caused this much trouble by directly getting involved. He always moved in the shadows.

But in this chance, I’ve come to a clear realization.

'If I don’t stop him now, something much bigger will happen.'

I have to prevent this. And to do that, the two of them need to join forces.

"Your Highness."

"Please go on."

"In fact, you already know, don’t you? That Your Highness doesn’t have any other options now."

"…"

Penelope von Arkheim. The empire’s First Princess, is currently backed into a corner. And there’s no one on the continent who doesn’t know that.

It's just natural. Louis, the First Prince, and the Goff Merchant Guild have joined forces. The foolish emperor’s current regency is also Louis. Meanwhile, Penelope is stuck in a situation where she doesn't have anything, and all she can do is just keep pondering. At this rate, the one who will inevitably fall will be Penelope von Arkheim.

And if that happens?

'Of course, it’ll be a bad ending. Bad ending maker, the moment Louis von Arkheim becomes emperor, tyranny will begin, and demons across the continent will awaken.'

That’s why I came here, with an offer that cannot be refused. At the top of Sidus' hall. A place that is not different from a gallows, Nox von Reinhaver, son of the Dark Family, probably comes here to save them both.

Eleanor and Penelope.

I have to say it, even with a blade to my throat. both of them must join hands.

“…You already know. My forces are still weak, don’t you?”

"It’s just a matter of 'still'."

"Nox von Reinhaver, you’re truly strange."

Penelope sighed and continued. Her expression shows a half-baked acting.

"It's as you said. I’m powerless right now. No matter the situation, I won’t be able to get out of it alone. I’ll have to rely on someone. But… it didn’t have to be you."

She clenched the hem of her dress tightly before continuing.

"Why are you helping me? You, of all people, son of the Dark family?"

“Not me. Eleanor de Rivalin. She's the one that will help Your Highness, no, the next Empress.”

"Wasn't she said she wouldn’t support me?”

"She doesn’t support anyone. That hasn’t changed. But"

I looked into her trembling eyes and, though slowly, spoke with precision.

"I trust the people and the nation I’ve lived in. That’s why I don’t want it to fall. Arkheim"

"… Even if that choice goes against your own family?"

"I was always the outcast anyway. Nothing to be surprised"

“Eleanor”

Penelope continued

"She won’t help me either. Like you said, she must be thinking it’d be better to align with another nation instead…"

Before she could finish her sentence, a sudden knock can be heard. At any rate, the timing was perfect.

A quiet but steady knock echoed. Penelope asked with a trembling voice

"What is it?"

"I’m sorry, Your Highness. But Eleanor de Rivalin is here, asking to meet you."

It was Echidna speaking from behind the door. Penelope forced herself to nod.

"… Please let her in."

Creak. The door opened, and there was Eleanor. Looking just like her usual self. She was glamorous yet graceful, elegant but never over the top. With that perfect balance and her pretty cherry-red lips, she greeted us and took a seat nearby.

Then, suddenly, Eleanor spoke up.

"I’ve come because there’s something I’d like to say to Princess Penelope."

“A proposal, right?”

Penelope responded a bit coldly. She already knew that Eleanor was the only person who could help her. That’s why she was speaking this way now. Eleanor had shown up unannounced and without warning, likely because she believed she held the upper hand. Eleanor shrugged slightly and replied.

"That's correct, it could be a proposal after all."

….. I thought so, but what she said next was a bit surprising. No, what followed was even more so.

"But it’s not a bad proposal. You’re already aware that the Rivalin Merchant Group has split, right, Princess Penelope?"

"Rick, the accountant, caused quite a mess, didn’t he?"

"That’s right. But unlike what he expected, I made it back alive. The people are divided, but my forces are still stronger. In reality, I’ve always been the one who appears on the surface and manages the group."

"So, what are you trying to say?"

"If I dare to say, I can help you. I’m sure you already know that Louis, the First Prince, must be taken down."

"…And what’s the compensation? The royal family doesn’t have much to offer right now, and our trust in each other is still…"

At that moment, even I could barely swallow my saliva. No matter how much we asked, Eleanor didn't say what she wanted from the royal family in return. I thought we had become somewhat closer, but now this?… The moment I thought that, then Eleanor’s lips twisted into a smirk.

"Please break off your engagement."

"What?"

"As compensation for supporting Princess Penelope, I demand the annulment of your engagement to Nox von Reinhaver. As the head of the Rivalin Merchant Group."

"…?"

What? In shock, I stared at Eleanor. Was this a joke?

Ei….

Why is my name suddenly being brought up here?

[torchickentacos]

21 and 22 for drew? or may if you’ve already been asked those ones about him!

From this ask game! LONG, under cut. Various off-topic musings included.

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

Ok so disclaimer for the few people who read what I write- this may or may not translate into my end product. I try to keep it in mind but ultimately my fics kind of write themselves and I have minimal input tbh. I'm not steering this car, I just put my foot on the pedal. I make it go but the characters are the ones driving with reckless abandon.

Also these are all just my opinions and if anyone hates them, please don't let me know.

Something that I like doing when writing Drew is leaning into how much he thinks. I enjoy leaning into his internal dialogue, his hang-ups on every little thing, his propensity to dwell (in my characterization of him, anyways, which is, ehhh, give or take maybe 85% taken from canon and 25% bullshitted. My math is wrong but I'm not changing it, there's just an extra 15% of my own bullshit and we'll pretend it was intentional).

When writing him, there tends to be a lot more going on internally than when I write, idk, May or Ash or whoever. Drew's always attuned to the situation, picking things up and filing them away. He's always formulating opinions and thoughts and emotions that rarely make it out of his head. He feels a lot of things but generally they stay inward, whereas when writing someone like May, if she's feeling it, she's probably also expressing it regardless of if she should or not. No filter vs too much of a filter for his own good.

I think that, in a related vein, he's always holding himself back. Both vocally and just... kind of in general? Maybe not career-wise, but emotionally, he'd rather get close and then dart away over and over again instead of making any leaps. He's careful. He'd rather balance on a tightrope than take the fall USUALLY *(this is how I write him, and other portrayals are ones that I love! this is just what I do, not what I'm saying is the right thing). We see it in canon- he gives May roses but hides behind excuses. He starts conversations but leaves just as quickly. He's mercurial and never builds up the bravery that he needs. He's careful to the point of cowardice- and not just ship-wise. This can be used for any number of things, which I find fun. He likes being in control, and if he doesn't feel like he has a steady grasp on a situation, he leaves. And you can't control people's emotions, so that's scary, so he dips out from emotional moments unless something stronger keeps him there. It's a constant push-and-pull between his own mind and emotions. One's always trying to rein the other in and break free of the other at the same time.

He likes certainty. This contrasts well with a certain someone whose entire battle style features assist and metronome, which is built in uncertainty. She challenges him. But that's for another post.

Something I dislike writing is leaning into how much of a jerk he actually is in canon sometimes tbh. Canon can keep that- I do enjoy it situationally but overall I leave that to writers who are better at showing that side of him without making him grating. I prefer watering it down some and making him be annoying in different ways lol, which admittedly does actually close off a few interesting avenues and facets of him. But I think given the tumultuous nature of rival ships and fandom's current... propensity for tossing out words like 'romanticizing' and 'idolizing' and whatever else, I'd rather just leave well enough alone with the worse aspects of him and avoid being called a verbal abuse apologist or whatever 😭 I don't want any avenues for some jackass to be like 'oh ew you write m/f relationships where the man is mean and dominant over the poor woman' or whateverthefuck. TLDR, I'm a people pleaser with worn-thin patience for rival ship discourse.

I also lean towards AU/slice-of-life stuff where his rival jerkassery is less applicable to begin with, anyways. I am FULLY guilty of watering him down and making him nicer, but I'm self-aware, so... there's that, I guess, lol. I also think he'd chill out as he gets older, anyways, leaning more towards 'vaguely prickly and sardonic' than anything else.

Anyways, it's kinda weird to answer these when I never actually share my writing on this blog, but oh well. That privilege got revoked after someone was mean about my writing around me without knowing that it was mine, lol. It wasn't even good criticism (which baffles me because god knows they had material to work with), it was just general bitching about ship fics that aren't as complex as War and Peace. God forbid some people enjoy fluff. Send me to the corner of shame along with the few dozen people who liked my writing and the people who left kind comments. Anyways, it's funny now, but I still won't share writing here. The best way to support me is to support writers in general.

So! General call to action. Go find a fic for your favorite ship (or just any fic in general but I'm being petty and saying 'ship' since the rude person seemed to take issue with shipping) and leave a (NICE. 🔪) comment. Just a heart emoji if you feel like it. Tell writers when you reread their work, just a 'Hey! rereading and remembering how much I liked this one :)' or something. It'll keep them going for a week, I'm telling you. I still think about and reread every single comment that I have ever received. I keep them all copy-pasted in a google doc. It's 24 pages long and 11.2k and it makes me cry (in a good way).

22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to this character? Something you don't like?

This is going to sound so fucking backhanded but I LOOOOOVE reading fics where he has friends. I love reading him talking to Solidad or Gary or Ash or May as a friend or whoever else!!! Make him socialize!!!! it's fun! Lord knows that he doesn't do it enough and it shows. I like reading fics where he gets to interact with people that he doesn't talk to often in canon. So anyone but May pretty much. I love his horrendously down-bad tunnel vision where he only acknowledges May and literally nobody else, funny as hell, but also it'd have been so fun if he actually spoke to other people. I read a fic several years ago where he and Paul were sorta-work-friends, it was some 2014 assassin AU PS/CS/IS fic. but I remember that Drew would intentionally play coldplay songs around Paul to annoy him or something like that. They had a frenemies-bromance-coworkers thing going on and it was just DELIGHTFUL, if a little odd! That shit's hilarious! Let me see Drew bothering other people on purpose and joking with friends!

So. Things I don't like. I personally disagree with the early 2010s FFN portrayals of him as a casanova womanizer, BUT I also kind of love those portrayals for their sheer absurdity and the camp factor lmao. It's not even an ironic enjoyment, it's a genuine affection for that whole era of fics. It's the opposite of how I write him, but it's nostalgic to look back on old fanon. I also don't care for fics that break him and May up but that's obviously a personal bias that I've literally gone against myself on, lmao. It can be done well but sometimes it skirts into ship-bashing territory, usually at Drew's expense. Just because it's not a preference of mine doesn't mean that it's a bad thing to write! I'm just not the audience and that's okay, it's not a failing of the writer. I mentioned the person who disliked my fics and said so publicly, and that doesn't reflect on me. It reflects on their tastes. Same goes here. It's just not to my taste. It's subjective and not at all a statement on the quality or validity of a fic that includes those things.

[sparklingmusicofstars]

Catarina Claes's physical description

Hello everyone ! I've seen a lot of talk about the appearance of all the characters, especially Catarina. Everyone has their point of view on the beauty of each character and others have preferences and prefer others. For my part I think that all the members of the harems + lovers of Maria, including the protagonist of course, are magnificent but I must admit that like everyone else, I have preferences. As a picky and perfectionist person, I wanted to give a decisive opinion on everyone's physique without letting my preferences for the characters stand out. I will also give as many details as possible. And I start of course with the protagonist of the harem : Catarina Claes !

PS: I will also include the point of view of some characters but not that of Catarina on herself because she is....Catarina. You see what I mean ^^; NOR characters in their romantic description. Although I will mainly highlight the beauty of the characters because I think it's important.

The face :

Big light aqua-blue eyes lightly upward with long eyelashes. Thin and soft pinks lips. A head full of silky smooth brown hair that exceeds her waist and a single hair strand hanging on the right side of her face. She often has a bright gentle smile on her face but can have an evil and menacing smile if she wants to scary someone (though it happens rarely)

The body :

A fair and soft snow white skin (according to a lot of POV) She is incredibly slender for someone who eat as much as her. (as I understand, approximately the same as Ginger Tucker when it comes to the size of a dress. She is tall with a very "womanly" body (from some POV). She has a fragrant sweet smell (according to almost all the guys, including Sliva in the game)

The style of dress:

She generally likes to wear comfortable clothes and doesn't like how the long dresses of this era keep her from moving as she pleases (even though the dress she often wears is shorter than what noble women usually wear) She loves cute things and prefers natural beauty instead of frills (although she seems to like this kind of clothing at events) Instead of wearing heels, she wears boots which are still quite elegant. And she would often forget to do her hair if Anne wasn't there to do it, or else she would do it at the last minute. She seems to like flowers and ribbons a lot. And having been an otaku in her previous life, she loves to wear accessories relating to the characters in her romance novels (like the necklace given by Nicol). Being a very humble young girl,she will generally refuse all expensive gifts and will never ask for an accessory of her own. If I had to say, her clothing style reminds me of Sora. Simple and casual but which suits them very well.

The voice :

From what I've seen from the anime, she has a pretty high-pitched voice that makes her sound like a child. Even though her voice is usually described in light novels as being gentle.

The aura :

She exudes a warm and friendly aura but can have a dignified, composed and elegant aura if necessary. And, according to Maria's mother, some kind of "regal aura". According to some characters who briefly met her, she immediately gives the impression of a wealthy person who grew up far from any danger ( Cezar and Liam). Maybe because of her innocence ? She's the kind of bright, positive person in a band and also has a knack for always saying the right thing at the right time and always mean it, which has earned her many admirers and suitors. And, I just have to add it, has a mania for saying and often making romantic and seductive gestures without realizing it, which does not facilitate the task of the members of the harem, (especially for Keith)

The special skill :

The one Catarina is best known for is of course her ability to win people over with her soft-hearted open personality (which got her quite a bit of courting in light novel 9, although that was also because she was beautiful) . And according to an extra story that @maboroshi-no kindly summarized (thank you very much for that ^^), she is pretty popular with high society men (although because of the harem, who doesn't want more rivals, we don't see it, what a shame...) From many points of view, her overwhelming charm knows almost no bounds. Men, women, younger or older (I wonder what Geordo meant by that ^^;) Even children !!! According to Geordo, she seduces people as soon as he takes his eyes off her... I really pity him... And usually she seduces them very quickly, sometimes with just a gesture or some words.

General opinion :

For a general opinion, I mainly took the opinion of some minor characters who meet Catarina for the first time and who have no idea of ​​her identity. From Ronnie and Bell Percy's point of view when they first meet her, they thought she was very beautiful and that goes for the shopkeeper's daughter, she mentioned that a lot of people come to the restaurant just to see her (I don't know if girls are in the lot) and her neighbor himself was in love with her. I honestly loved her comments about Sora and Catarina who thought they looked like a beautiful couple out of an illustration of a romance novel ^^. So I think if we had to rank in general I would say that Sora and Catarina have about the same level of beauty and physical charm. (given that Catarina's charm is rated at the same level as Nicol) Because I'm pretty sure that if the harem didn't threaten everyone around Catarina, she would have the same level of visible popularity as Sora. I also had the impression at times in the story that they made these kinds of innuendos.

My personnal opinion :

As far as I'm concerned, I think Catarina is a very beautiful woman, although she doesn't have any unusual physical characteristics (like red, silver, white or blue hair...) And I think that despite some moments in the light novel where you might think otherwise, Satoru Yamaguchi created Catarina to be as beautiful as her friends, albeit in a different way. (I think she mentions something like this in the light novel 6 post scritum)

That's it ! Thank you very much for reading, if you have something to add or comments on what I said, do not hesitate to mark them!

[designatedbreadbox]

i saw your asks/requests were open and i wanted to know

what your take on the Obey Me boys would be if MC was a parent back in the human world? like at some point the child(ren) would have to come back to the devildom w/ mc and just everyone’s general reactions?

im sorry if that’s worded terribly ;-;

This entirely depends on how many kids and if they came with MC to essentially Hell. Generally, if they did, it would require MC to console their kid(s) that 1) they're not dead and 2) yes they'll go home. If they didn't it's easy to see MC freaking the fuck out before Lucifer can even say anything. The events of the game would play, but this time like 90% of MC's time is devoted to their kid(s), so studying and homework is minimal.

Lucifer would act as the strict parent that'll leave MC as the "Fun One" between the two. The Trio (Satan, Belphegor, Mammon) would poke fun like children about what a cute couple MC and him are and how well Lucifer is (in temper) around the kid(s). If it's really insisted, either by MC, the other brothers, or the kid(s) themself/ves, Lucifer would be put into the 'strict-scary' yet oddly likeable uncle role. I don't see him interacting with the kid(s) much unless he gets wind of shenigans they're dragged into.

Mammon is teaching them to steal and pick locks. He's extremely greedy and unstealthy when it comes to money but I like to think he's not entirely stupid. When he does it is the greatest mystery bevuz one day the kid(s) would grab MC's attention and them demonstrate how they can get in Lucifer's 27-combination safe. Funnily enough, he teaches them the value of money and swears if he had human currency, he'd give it to them for being cute (the synopsis of what he'd say; he denies heavily if asked and/or pushed). 2nd person to have alot of pictures of them and claims they took his phone. The camera angles say otherwise.

Asmo's the one they most likely like first. With his flambouyant personality, will to be in the spotlight, and a fan of all things he dubs cute, he has no problem with spending 99% of his day with them. Shopping, the arcades, movies, whatever they want to do, he's in even if he doesn't reallybenjoy the activity. So long as he doesn't get dirty or they get hurt/threatened, it's fine by him. Has no problem spending money on them since they're such cute munchkin(s) considering drops mortages on clothes and skincare like nothing. 1st person to have alot of pics with or just them and has no shame for it. If they're extra cute (which is always), he'll even let them sleep over.

Belphie, Satan, Mammon, and Levi make a wierd mix since all four are teaching the kid(s) to swear (in varying degrees) just to mess with Lucifer than MC. The first pair do it on purpose whereas the 2nd pair are on accident: Mammon when he learns he got scammed and Levi when he loses a game badly. Both cases are a 'in the moment' type of beat and will openly admit what happened should the kid(s) repeat what they said. That being said, if the first pair get caught, either by MC, Lucifer, or a third party, they'll make the most sincere apology known to man because "Devildom hath no fury like an Angel hearing a little kid swear".

Satan and Belphie are the most calming of the seven, second only to MC. Belphie because dreams are his thing, so nightmares only occur if he slacks on keeping them away or occassionally forgets to check their dreams when they're asleep. Satan since he has a calming tone to his voice that's just there naturally. While he may not have fairytales, that doesn't mean he wont pick a book and change or exaggerate details to make it something the kid(s) would want to hear.

Beel is a life saver since he keeps them when fed when everyone else is too busy. Whatever texture they may not like makes no difference to him since he once drank the oil that was used to fry chicken. A funny thing like hating broccoli for the smell or raisins for the texture is nothing to him. If the kid(s) are a sporty type, he's the go-to. The best mix between rough-housing and holding back, if they wanna do something like playing castle or tea-parties, he's fine. Just feed him every so often and all is dandy.

[biribaa]

May I requested your OC(Olivia/O7) cathing reader crying? Just a little headcanon (Sorry about the English ;[)

Olivia/O7 catching reader crying

TW/CW: None ig

Olivia

Olivia has already studied human psychology, and already knows almost everything about the human mind. But you are someone who needs extra gentle treatment.

With the greatest delicacy, she tries to approach and asks what happened. Of course, she is aware of the possibility that you might not even want to talk about the problem, which is perfectly fine (even though she would prefer to solve this problem for you).

Olivia is aware of how stressed the human mind can be, sometimes the mind can be stressed to the point of homicide (she has witnessed moments like this several times). So of course she has to ask if you're okay with physical affection, or acts of service.

Olivia always positions you on the counch with one of her weighted blankets, trying to fix you a quick snack that you like after comforting you.

"You can cry all you want, shh shh, I don't mind about a wet shoulder. In fact, it's scientifically proven that crying is good for your being. According to research, crying produces a kind of natural painkiller when it is formed and releases a series of hormones in the human organism." 🤓☝️ (Sorry not sorry)

You may be able to watch a series/film/video in your own comfort. or if you like, listen to Olivia talk about her interests if you like to hear her voice. Or maybe Olivia can give you some kisses if you want

O7

There aren't many drastic differences between Olivia and O7 in this matter. In fact, I even thought about just doing both at the same time.

O7 will first ask if it was someone, after all, you are not in the free world, you are in Soul Chronos, there are only humans and 95% of them are mean and selfish humans. If the case is indeed someone there, O7 will have a job to do, if you know what I mean(After comforting you of course)

O7 will try to hold you with her four arms at all times (if you let her). Making an attempt to relieve your emotional stress. One hour or another whispering sweet praise(Or not if you prefer silence).

And since O7 is pretty confident, she might crack a joke or two here and there in an attempt to make you laugh.

She can play music if you wants to, or maybe read a book! If such a thing makes your tears stop, then O7 will definitely do it.

Maybe cuddle? Who wouldn't want to cuddle a big scary robot with two extra arms? Some arms around your waist and others caressing your head and back.

Or maybe you want to talk about your problem, no problem, for you O7 is all ears :] And if you like, O7 can suggest some suggestions to solve your current problem, whatever it is, she wants to help. But if not, it's perfectly okay for O7.

O7 or Olivia, it doesn't matter, she wants to help you, and she deeply wants you to let her help you :)

[babygirlaffirmations]

This anxiety. This sub drop has been eating me up inside. And I need to really write out and get out every insecurity I can think of. So I can move through this with Master and heal. And I feel so vulnerable and scared making this. But I have to. I can't just be anxious and on edge every moment we're apart. We have to work through this...

I guess I'll start. Part of what makes me anxious is the overall situation. The fact that no matter what I do I can never live in the same city as Master or even close by. I can never live with him. I can never marry him. I guess hand fasting is an option. But I would rather his collar anyways... But if we're together let's say years... Relationship escalator will want me to push towards cohabitating naturally. And it's just not an option. And that's scary as fuck. I can't imagine being in a situation with having a Master where I would want to cohabitate with someone more than him... I'm at a point now where I do like my space a lot of the time. But I would easily give up so much in my life for him. I would give up my independence in a second to live with him if the situation was different. But that would be in a different world where he isn't married and doesn't have kids. So realistically even if the situation would allow them it would never work. I'm so scared. I'm gonna fall for Master so fast. I want to be ready. I feel like I'm already at the beginning of it. I want to feel so important to his life. And him having two separate worlds is so scary. Also never being able to contact his wife to have 100% confirmation she knows about us is scary. It forces me to put so much trust in him that he's ethical.

It would be stupid to bring me to his parenting classes and give me his main number if his wife didn't know. It's just this situation is so hard. And probably the most complicated poly situations I've ever been in. I have to think through why and what bits are making me insecure. So Master can reassure me. So Master can be aware because I never want to hide anything from him. And being this transparent with someone so new is also scary. Having recent situations where I've been abandoned are scary. I'm scared because I've had too many people sexually assault me, abuse their power. And I know Master isn't like that. But it's just having to hold onto that baggage going into this. And trying to still love like I've never been hurt to the best of my ability. If I ever changed my life and wanted to have kids I could never do that with Master. If I ever wanted to contact his wife for any reason I could never do that. I can't even really feel comfortable to call in an emergency unless it was an extreme medical case where I'm going to the ER or something. Because I don't want to put him in that position around his wife.

As attentive as Master is the ball is in his court on how much access I can have to him and that's scary. And yesterday was the busiest day and I couldn't contact him and that was scary. He has this whole life built without me and that's scary. Is it all just hurt? Envy? Jealousy? Anger? Like I'm trying to figure out what all the feels are. I have to get to the root of this.

When Master's phone goes offline when he's not on it that's scary. Even when he has snap chat and fet open and emergency texting. Why do I feel so insecure after our meeting? That's what I need to know. The more I see him and realize every month will have a similar routine will help. But even being at his job in Seattle for 8 years. What if he ever has to or wants to leave it. Where does that leave us? Does he just never see me again? That's probably the biggest thing that scares me.

Not knowing if we'll be only limited to 5 days a month for our whole relationship in person is scary. Not knowing if Master and his wife can work out him and I getting extra time is scary. It's hard because these are the best five days of my month. And probably her worst.

And I feel really awkward when we've like just sat down for dinner and she calls and he has to sneak out. Even though I know it's part of the territory of this.

I'm so scared. I don't want to be lied to. I want to trust him. I went to feel so secure every time he leaves and every day. I need my anxiety to breathe s little. I need to be able to be in the moment daily here and in person. Being so attached to my phone because I always want to be available to him for any hole be uses or any command is so amazing. But also scary.

I need to know this is ethical. I need to know that no matter what happens in his life Master would still make about 5 days at least in person even if his job were to waiver. I need to know he wouldn't abandon me if he stopped his classes. I need to know that there isn't a veto power where his wife could just say no more and he stops seeing me. He means so much to me. I'm putting so much heart and vulnerability into this relationship. And I don't regret any of it. I don't regret even a single panic attack if it brings me closer to finding the route of it. Or if it meant I spent those days with him and will again.

Having sparse messages. And being left on read. That's what causes anxiety. Having time for consistent text conversations helps. The app. The orders that helps. The reassurance helps. The routine helps. The consistent video calls help.

I made an advice post in a group and someone suggested video dates. Doesn't seem super feasible on his end. Idk. ? Master would that ever be an option? A video date where it's long enough to watch a movie or eat a meal or watch Peppa? Knowing there is a high chance that isn't feasible is scary.

What if we never get extra days where he visits me without work? Will the amount of time we have currently always end up being enough? Will not living together always sate us? Will this multi platform always sate us? Will I ever be able to consistently message on his main phone? Will I always feel like a hidden secret even though he says they both talk about this?

I don't understand the poly mono where they have intimacy and his wife sees it as jealous sex while hearing about our intimacy.

Poly mono is scary. I'm used to all this openness. Having a relationship like this isn't at all kitchen table poly on his side. Will this be enough for us both? All of it?

Will I ever want to cohabitate with someone else while still being his property? How would that look like? The other person would have to understand by default that Master has to have more of my time and access me more. This situation is so weird to me. And unfamiliar.

I'm letting someone new control my whole life. It's valid to me skeptical. Will added trust and routine really make this easier? Will there ever be enough reassurance that I'll be feel 100% at ease in between or at visits?

Will we be able to work through all trauma?

Will I be happy spending like 4/5 serving him at a distance? Obviously this distance is what started this foundation. But having a taste of real life is scary and makes it harder and more complicated.

Only having limited days a month where Master can give me physical touch. That's scary... Even if he loans me out for things it won't be the same.

Will I be able to handle most birthdays and holidays alone just constantly checking my phone and hoping it's enough?

Will I feel secure enough in our relationship and dynamic over time?

So many scaries. So many what ifs. And so much unknown. And I don't know the answer to any of this.

I'll have to go through massive sub drop alone every month. Knowing no matter how bad the drop and panic attacks get that Master can never physically hold me me through them. How do I prepare to handle them knowing that?

I've never felt so happy in service to someone. I've never felt so right of a connection.

But how do I deal with all these hard feels? Will they get easier? Will they get worse in someways? Will I need someone in person that can co top and do some of the physical stuff?

I can never live with this amazing man who owns me. That hurts. No matter what I do his life circumstances will never change. And that's terrifying. We have to learn how to adapt to all this. Does he always think about me even when he's not responding? Is his NRE as strong as mine?

Will I always feel held by him when he's busy? I sure know that one thing is for certain. I'm grateful for this service to him. And I will do anything to fight for it. To keep it. To make it flourish.

Will 5 days a month plus lots of long distance toys help and be enough?

Will I be enough ? Will Master always want me? Will he promise to never abandon me no matter how hard this gets? Will be promise to keep seeing me no matter the job situation? Will he always love me? Will he fall for me? Is he already ? Will Master be enough for me? Will all that he can give me at his most be enough for me? Will I be able to find a poly partner who can fill the voids? This may be the scariest and most vulnerable thing I've ever written.

I'm not scared of our connection not being strong enough right now. I'm scared because I want us to always fill each other's needs and remain strong.

Will he always be my Daddy pig? Will he always keep my mind and body safe ? Will I have to go through any emergencies without him? Will he always be able to give me what I need during my sub drop? How do we set me up for success after? What will work? What won't? How do we get extra time? Will I be only limited to this specific set of days each month ? Will I have more of a say in that regard? Will we ever be able to go on a road trip or vacation together ? Why is he the one person who always sates my anxiety now? Will be replace my fidget? Cuz I'm really mad I lost not only that but my plug. And they both can't just vanish.

Will Master's collar always bring me peace? Will our routine and protocol make me feel held enough ?

Will I always be this anxious without him? Will trust and time and security help my anxiety lessen?

Will I always feel empty when he's busy with family obligations? The long tasks seem to help a lot.

What will our future look like? Will I ever stop being scared? How long will we be together? I feel like if Master just tells me simply he's willing to fight for our relationship and always make it work that may be all I need to sate a lot of the brain demons.

Are my messages too much? Is my communication style too intense? Am I ever a burden? How do him and I get though the majority of our relationship in a space of mind where we are both super impatient?

What's his life like out there? Do I want to know more about it? Will his lives ever overlap at all? Will Master be proud of me for my vulnerability? Does he have any anxiety about our relationship too?

Has he ordered my day collar yet? When will it be here? Is this the best situation for me? Will I turn into a better slave for him? I feel like I already am. I'm very self aware. Master I'm scared and insecure a lot. But writing this is giving me some peace of mind to put it all in one place. Will we always have time to talk every night on video? Will Master always make time for me? Will I feel jealous or hurt if he can't one night? Will I get really into his book? Will I live up to being his phedra? How many different collars will I have? Will I have any extra nicknames? Would Master ever want to handfast marry me? Will I want that? Will I ever feel fully secure enough that I'll see him every month no matter what life hands us and have that peace of mind? Will I have weird jealousy on the months he has extra time in Seattle but has to bring his family with like not long before we started dating? Would Master sneak off and make time for me then before or after a class? Will his wife ever like me? Probably not. I wish I could be her friend possibly or talk to her. What is she like? How long have they been married? What does his room look like? Do they co sleep? What are his kids like? It hurts knowing Master has this amazing farm I can never see and visit. Will we go to the zoo next visit? Will drop feel better? Will it feel worse? Will I feel more secure? Will Master get overwhelmed by this journal? Does he always miss me? Do I fill voids in his life? How do we become better partners for each other? How deeply will I fall for him? I suck at transitions. Will it ever get easier? Will I always cry? Will I always struggle being in the moment at the end? What types of dates will we go on? Will we always make it routine to make dnd spicy? Will I ever feel fully secure enough to be held by him? To where the the anxiety is very low? Will we both be fulfilled by this ? Will my body be okay over time adapting to so many cummies? Will I hit a point where I need more all the time? Am I already hitting that? Will Master be able to help me through all this? Will we get quality time sometimes on video? Will I ever feel fully secure in our connection when he's busy? I think that's all that my brain has for now. If I need to I'll write more.

[thecuriouscrysalis]

"Can I tell you something I don't want to tell you, but I know you would want me to?"

His eyes narrow down at me, brow furrowing in anticipation as to what I will say next.

I take a deep breath.

"I've had a really bad POTS day and have had vision blackouts, but I took extra medicine and they're all on the table." My words are slung together quickly as if almost making them indecipherable would somehow confound him.

I know what he's going to say next. Like me, he is a caretaker by nature and putting the welfare of those he cares about is important. That is the sacrifice of being cared for, one of which I will accept given the alternative.

Ours is a dynamic of intensity. It is physically hard on my body at times, but he knows I don't want him to back down. I crave the primal urges, the biting, growling, labored breathing, and exhaustion that comes with our time together. But there is another side to my wolf, too. Soft, adoring, nurturing, protective. I watch the exterior crack and give way to the provider within.

He takes a step back and peers at me. After a moment of contemplating, I see his chest rise heavily and fall.

"Every day is a battle for you."

My gaze is locked on his as he continues bringing light to my physical struggles, and I fight emotion. I don't always feel brave or courageous, but I know I'm a survivor. My world is often unpredictable and scary, and I never know when a decent day is going to end in chaos. I look forward to letting it go for a few hours and if I'm being honest, I am grateful to share that with someone I can trust to look out for me.

"So I'm not going to treat you with kid gloves."

I know he wants to. Because he wants to keep me safe. He always does. But I'm so appreciative of him allowing me to live out these moments.

I nod and mouth a thank you. He does know what it means to me that I'm treated like a normal person even if I am anything but. No one asks for chronic illness, and we all manage the best we can.

I feel like a child again for a moment, glancing down at my knees as I point out the mysterious bruises on each one of them. I've likely slammed them into a table or car door. I almost forget I'm a voluptuous woman dressed in a really alluring bustier. He bends down and kisses each darkened spot on my legs. I wrap my arms around him and lay my head against his torso, happy to just be still with him for a moment.

I am accustomed to putting the needs of others before my own. Other than when I was a kid and required it, I've never had someone really take care of me before. I wouldn't have wanted them to. But he is capable. And he doesn't treat me like an invalid or burden.

Just like he promised, he did not treat me any less intensely than usual. But he was supportive, and I allowed him to aid me when needed. I tried to be vocal and tell him when I felt lightheaded, accepting that I needed a pause. If I was unsteady on my feet, he would whisper that he had me. I trusted and leaned into him because as hard as it was for him to not wrap me in bubble wrap to protect me, it was equally as hard for me to allow him to lend his support.

He found ways of relaxing me that fit into our scenes. If my hips were strained from hypermobility, he took the weight of my legs or altered the position to rest them without stopping. While already fond of asphyxiation, I was surprised when he wrapped his hand around my throat and applied pressure more intently than he had before. He whispered it was for relaxation. My implicit trust was his, and while I fought it instinctively for a moment, I found myself letting go of my guardedness caused by my health conditions. My body sank into the bed against him, and there was never a moment I thought I was in danger. I wasn't. My eyes fluttered peacefully, reminding me just how exhausted I was.

When he stood to haul me to my feet to bend over the bed, I knew my body was burning out. My mind was still alert and ready to continue. Instead of calling it a night, he scooped his arms under my knees. My arms went around his shoulders while he gently slid me toward him. Feeling shameful, I looked away and apologized.

I could see the reserve in his expression. Hours earlier he had admitted I wasn't making eye contact and being quiet, both which were unlike me and showed I didn't feel my best. Our time together being sparse, I didn't want my body to ruin something else in my life I wanted. It had taken so much from me already, and I appreciated every opportunity I had to feel human. Desired. Needed. He gave that to me.

He told me not to apologize and mentioned other experiences that made me feel more secure.

Physically spent, I lay with my head on his chest, listening to the quiet rhythm of his heart beating. His eyes had drifted shut, and I used the stillness of the moment to reflect on how incredibly thankful I was that our paths had crossed. With a fulfilled mind and full heart, I knew that I had found in him someone who did the most important thing of all- above the nurturing and ravaging and laughing and all the wonderful things.

He allowed me to just *live.*

[ganymedesclock]

I'm once again thinking about Twilight Princess and how much I enjoy that the Fused Shadows seem to be a standard cursed power thing - but only because they're in a world they weren't meant to be compatible in and got stuck to random beings, and once they're being used by Midna, sure, her spider mode is big and scary looking, but she never hurts anyone she doesn't mean to, she's in complete control, and bear-hugs Ganon out of Zelda without giving her a scratch. They're not evil and they (1/2)

(2/2) don't make people evil, at least not unless something else has gone badly wrong, and even then it's more complicated than 'they're evil now' (poor Darbus.) I also love how Midna has a line re: Zelda about how a life of luxury and a carefree youth can't teach someone about duty - just, the idea of Midna as someone who worked her ass off to be a worthy leader, who cares deeply and truly for her people and realm, and still being the little (or big) hellion imp we know and love, is wonderful.

Twilight Princess is a game I have a very frustrated affection for because it has one foot forwards into a really unexplored theme in TLoZ's narratives of light and darkness and then it never really brings the other foot down.

We have Midna's power, and we have the fact that Link through the game accesses something that's kind of an iconically villainish power in TLoZ (turning into a monster, to the point of wolf link squaring off with dark beast ganon) and we have her speech to Link about how the twilight was beautiful and she missed home, but we also have...

the fact that all of the Fused Shadows have attached themselves to monsters, and the twilight mirror shards too, and especially in hunting the latter, you can watch Midna become more embittered and frustrated that there seems to be so much potential for 'evil' in these, until she's kind of disgusted with them and disgusted with herself and it makes her endgame decision inevitable in a frustrating way,

that we are told we have to "match the power of the king of twilight" but Link never really learns dark magic himself- he fights alongside Midna who handles all that for him, and this distinction is important because, again, at the end of the story Midna takes all the 'dark' and leaves, because she thinks it's for Link's good, leaving him innocent in the light.

I'm haunted by the mental image of, one week after Twilight Princess ends, they can't find Colin, and if Link was a wolf he could track him down, but he can't, because Midna's not there, and the cursed artifact is gone, and Colin turns up okay (he just snuck off to train without telling anybody) but Link is tormented over this.

Wasn't it a curse? Weren't you happier without it? Don't you enjoy your reward of being a nice, normal, human whose personhood is never in question?

(Something inside of him paces and howls. He no longer has the tools to pull it through its skin where it can run and find relief.)

Anyway Motley you're completely right IMO, the fused shadows get the short end of the stick and come off super evil when they're basically mismanaged natural forces and this is just extra picante in a setting where we're used to the artifacts we pick up to do stuff lacking the implication they ever did any stuff that we weren't fond of.