#natalie nightingale

[doctorsiren]

Warmed up with some featherweight headshots

[nightingaletrash]

gotta love that of all the Couriers Mr House could have had delivering the Platinum Chip, the one who brings it to him has no interest in playing his games or earning his favour, she just wants to shoot Benny and then find the guy that passed up on the job in the hopes that it'd get her killed so she can shoot him too. And even if she wasn't on the revenge train, she's like 'nah, I've already had one computer man try to manipulate me into shaping humanity to suit him, you can go fuck yourself'.

The only reason she even finishes the main story is because Ulysses essentially woke her up from years of indifference and convinced her that if she wants things to be better, she had to go out there and try to change things.

[rosealouette]

credits ⍣ ೋ all quotes are from poisoned reverence by rose alouette nightingale artwork: crocodile tears 3 by natalie dowse, the years lie in wait for you by dora maar, courage anxiety and despair by james sant, worship of mammon by evelyn de morgan, perseus with the head of medusa by benvenuto cellini, guernica by pablo picasso

[mzannthropy]

Actresses who worked with Sam Claflin and who I enjoyed watching on screen with him:

Rachel Weisz, Holliday Granger, Camila Morrone, Suki Waterhouse, Kristen Stewart, Gemma Arterton, Astrid Berges-Frisbey, Penelope Cruz, Anya Taylor-Joy (though I hated that scene in Peaky Blinders S6), Eleanor Tomlinson, Aisling Franciosi, Jena Malone, Stef Dawson, Veronica Echegui, Antonia Thomas, Michelle Monaghan, Naomi Ackie, Shailene Woodley, Olivia Cooke, Natalie Dormer. (Not watched Pillars of the Earth yet, but I expect Hayley Atwell will join this list. And Karla-Simone Spence once The Count of Monte Cristo is out!) Others who were in the same projects but I can't remember if they had scenes together (or they didn't have scenes together): Nabiyah Be (wait, Simone sang with the on River in Chicago, right?), Helen McCrory (*sobs*), Charlize Theron. As for Jennifer Lawrence, I just don't like Katniss that much, but I've liked Jennifer in everything else I've seen, so she counts but at the same time she doesn't. She's the Schrodinger.

Female directors who Sam worked with whose work I liked: Jennifer Kent (The Nightingale), Lone Scherfig (Their Finest and The Riot Club), Elizabeth Banks (Charlie's Angels; I can't recall whether Finnick and Effie had any scenes in Hunger Games, if so, then she also belongs on the above list), Analeine Cal Y Mayor (Book of Love).

[manuscripts-dontburn]

Stone Blind

Author: Natalie Haynes

First published: 2022

Rating: ★★☆☆☆

I am so, so sorry, but this one was a mess. The Gods ruin it, because they are, in fact, 21st century teenagers. The other thing that ruins it is a million points of view which chop the story up in a way that takes every exciting moment away, stretching it until you just do not care one bit. And Medusa? She is a minor character, to the point of being in the story for less than even half of it. Natalie Haynes can do better and has done better.

What Maisie Knew

Author: Henry James

First published: 1897

Rating: ★☆☆☆☆

Dear Lord... I think this was the most tedious and boring book I have read this year so far. If I was not listening to it on audio, I would have DNF-ed it halfway through. I was hoping for much, much more from a classic dealing with a child of a messy divorce and custody battle in times when divorce was still a dirty word. Sadly this is just a mix of awful people and a desperately naive kid in situations that are so repetitive I could have cried.

The Golden Enclaves

Author: Naomi Novik

First published: 2022

Rating: ★★★★☆

I cannot deny this whole series has issues, mainly it needed much, much more editing, and the info-dumps, so often taking a form of a stream of consciousness, can get tiring. And yet, this last book ties it together with a bow so well, I cannot help but applaud Naomi Novik for creating an original, interesting, and captivating version of the world. The finale left me positively breathless.

Elisabeth: portraits of an Empress

Author: Brigitte Hamann

First published: 1998

Rating: ★★★★★

A very nice, quite comprehensive gallery of official portraits, photographs and prints of the famous Empress, that would make a perfect companion to a full-blown biography. Perhaps the one by Brigitte Hamann herself.

The Seed Keeper

Author: Diane Wilson

First published: 2021

Rating: ★★★☆☆

Some parts of this book are extremely touching and well-written. Unfortunately, other parts bored me. I felt like the author needed to make the story tighter, and more focused. Much of what was happening seemed to only skim a surface of a situation, many of which could carry great importance within the story.

Off With Her Head: Three Thousand Years of Demonizing Women in Power

Author: Eleanor Herman

First published: 2022

Rating: ★☆☆☆☆

(Wo)Maaan this was a MESS. I don´t even know where to start.There is really no logic in how the narrative is arranged. The history part is only about 25%, 10% talk about women in other places than US and the overwhelming majority of information is about Hillary Clinton, Kamala Harris and Nanci Pelosi. Essentially, if you have even a tiny interest in US politics, there is nothing new or surprising (though of course, it can still make you angry). The only thing this book says is that there are awful double standards and women in power have always been treated much more harshly and cruelly than men - something we all know, cannot dispute and it could have been a Tumblr post. But frankly, Mary Beard said the same thing with fewer words and greater impact in her Women & Power: A Manifesto.I feel kinda bad about rating this book so low, considering the topic, but this was just too basic and not well put together.

Nightingales: The Extraordinary Upbringing and Curious Life of Miss Florence Nightingale

Author: Gillian Gill

First published: 2004

Rating: ★★★★☆

The amount of research done for this book and the included details that stem from it is simply astonishing. That can be seen as both an advantage and a disadvantage of the book, depending on what you want and how much of it you want. If you read this only to familiarize yourself with the remarkable Florence Nightingale, you will be probably swamped by the wealth of information about her extended family (and even some ancestors) and the almost tedious narration of her life before the Crimean mission. However, if you like family sagas, delving deep into Victorian daily life and attitudes, you will have your fill with this book. The title is indeed truthful to the content. One also must mention that even though dense, the book is very readable and easy to navigate (at least once you get over all those ancestors).

The Rules of Magic

Author: Alice Hoffman

First published: 2017

Rating: ★★★★★

Do you like - magical realism? - strong and believable family ties? - romance? - beautiful writing? Then pick up this book.

Triangle: The Fire That Changed America

Author: David von Drehle

First published: 2003

Rating: ★★★★☆

I had some problems following the opening chapters dealing with the hidden politics of New York in the early 1900s, and the frequent breaks in the narrative to introduce nearly everyone felt sometimes jarring, but all in all, this was a well-researched and sensitive tribute to those who lost their lives during this horrific event. It is also a loud call-out of greed and its favorite child, capitalism. What truly terrifies one is the fact, that things like this still happen and the underlying reasons are always the same.

The House is on Fire

Author: Rachel Beanland

First published: 2023

Rating: ★★★★☆

This is a solid piece of historical fiction that uses the same style that made books like Salt to the Sea and All the Light We Cannot See so very readable: short chapters that keep changing points of view. I liked the fact that the whole book is set during just three days, showing how quickly and unexpectedly lives can completely change. I was also glad to learn about this tragic event - the historian in me is always, always interested in learning.

The Corset

Author: Laura Purcell

First published: 2018

Rating: ★★★★★

Not gonna lie, this was pretty great! Sure, the story of Dorothea is not really as engaging as the story of Ruth, but Dorothea´s chapters provide a welcome breathing space from the suspense and horror of Ruth´s. The longer you read the more difficult the book is to put down. Excellent gothic novel.

Empty Theatre: or, The Lives of King Ludwig II of Bavaria and Empress Sisi of Austria (Queen of Hungary), Cousins, in Their Pursuit of Connection and Beauty...

Author: Jac Jemc

First published: 2023

Rating: ★★☆☆☆

I was stunned by how purposefully artless the writing was. I also believe a "satire" should be more than just being snarky about real historical people. The whole thing felt extremely pointless. Save your time for better books, all ya readers of historical fiction.

The Brontës: The Fantastically Feminist (and Totally True) Story of the Astonishing Authors

Author: Anna Doherty

First published: 2022

Rating: ★★★☆☆

Sweet and simple introduction to the magnificent Bronte sisters for little kids.

Little Fires Everywhere

Author: Ng Celeste

First published: 2017

Rating: ★★★☆☆

This is a very, very good book. It was, unfortunately, simply not for me, who gets easily bored by American middle-class drama. The most interesting parts dealt directly with the adoption case, which turned out to be a subplot rather than the main event.

[myladyofmercy]

you are cordially invited

I wanted to do one of these for a while now so here's a list of a bunch of my favorite things you'll see me posting about on here. I try to tag everything fandom related so if something annoys you feel free to block it

current fandoms (new episodes or movies still coming out or I'm just discovering):

young royals

the artful dodger

911

911 lone star

starkid

heartstopper

good omens

doctor who

percy jackson

dormant fandoms (not active anymore but will still post stuff occasionally):

supernatural

gåsmamman

barry

h2o

motherland: fort salem

shameless

siren

pirates of the carribean

black sails

the maze runner

game of thrones

teen wolf

marvel

disney

star wars

some of my favorite movies i will post about from time to time:

peter pan (2003)

soul surfer

the prince of egypt

titanic

moulin rouge

the impossible

atonement

the perks of being a wallflower

love, rosie

music i like:

the last dinner party

florence and the machine

hozier

aurora

the lumineers

mumford and sons

boygenius

chvrches

celebrities i like:

florence welch

abigail morris

thomas brodie-sangster

florence pugh

omar rudberg

edvin ryding

oliver stark

anya taylor-joy

rosa salazar

authors i like:

taylor jenkins reid

casey mcquiston

jennifer saint

madeleine miller

natalie heynes

donna tartt

ships that make me go crazy:

philippa gregory

matt haig

wilmon

buddie

dodgerfox

newtmas

stydia

gallavich

other non-fandom related stuff i post:

queer stuff

german stuff

other random stuff i find funny and/or pretty

side blogs:

@ladybirdsims (sims cc reblogs)

@a-sailor-and-a-nightingale (music)

@the-last-dinner-party (tldp specifically)

@dodgerfoxes (the artful dodger)

[maximotts]

Don't worry about it! Your ask box must be pretty crazy!

I had no idea about that so thank you very much 🩷 I just signed up and hopefully I'll be able to get some. You are the best!

And some of the books I've got are the silence of the girls, a thousand ships, the one hundred years of Lenni and Margot (I just finished this one and it's so extremely sad and beautiful at the same time), I also got the Nightingale by Kristin Hannah which I'm pretty excited about.

I can't wait to read Iris Kelly but it will probably be a while because it's not available here and ordering it from the UK is so expensive 🫠

Also I don't know if you are going to see the marvels, but I just got back from the cinema and it was so amazing! I didn't expect a lot of things that happened and I'm still processing it all 😂

Sorry for the long message, I hope you are okay and that you had an amazing week! -📖

A THOUSAND SHIPSSS!! I wanna read that so bad!! I love Natalie Haynes’ writing 😭 I’ve heard really good things about Nightingale so I hope you enjoy reading it when you get around to it!!

You mentioned ordering something from the UK and it reminded me that I never correctly guessed what country you’re from, but in my head you’re Sicilian?? And you live in a little villa by a vineyard and thats how you can read so fast! All of my friends have headcanons my brain makes to fill in gaps and so I’m sharing yours with you 😌💖

I’ll be seeing The Marvels on Sunday with @belovaskitkat I’m so excited!!! I’m gonna be on a socials ban until then avoiding any spoilers, but I did already go and get my cinemark light up bucket and cup hehehe

Never apologize for sending long messages, I love getting to hear from you!! And yes, I’m doing just fine, busy as hell, but living! I hope you had a wonderful week 🥹💖💖

[kattra]

What I’m Reading

BOOKS OF FEBRUARY The Bear and the Nightingale by Katherine Arden The Dangers of Smoking in Bed by Mariana Enríquez (SS) Elatsoe by Darcie Little Badger ** The Night Parade by Kathryn Tanquary  Manhunt by Gretchen Felker-Martin  The Backwater Sermons by Jay Hulme (P)  Everyone Dies Famous in a Small Town by Bonnie-Sue Hitchcock (SS)  Murder of Crows by Anne Bishop  Carrie Soto Is Back by Taylor Jenkins Reid  Yaqui Delgado Wants to Kick Your Ass by Meg Medina White Magic by Elissa Washuta (NF)  Get a Life, Chloe Brown by Talia Hibbert 

Graphic Novels: Imagine Wanting Only This by Kristen Radtke  Dengeki Daisy Vol.9-12 by Kyousuke Motomi    Fence Vol.5 (Rise) by C.S. Pacat & Johanna the Mad  A Map to the Sun by Sloane Leong **

(32 books read / 125 books goal)

currently reading:  The Silmarillion by J.R.R. Tolkien  Postcolonial Love Poem by Natalie Diaz (P)  Still Life by Louise Penny God Isn’t Here Today by Francine Cunningham (SS)  I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy (NF) Trickster’s Choice by Tamora Pierce Vision in Silver by Anne Bishop 

* - re-read // ** - 4+ star-rating (recommended) GN - graphic novel // NF - non-fiction // P - poetry SS - short story collection // AB - audiobook 

TBR: Trickster’s Queen by Tamora Pierce  Lost in the Moment and Found by Seanan McGuire Freshwater by Akwaeke Emezi  Really Good, Actually by Monica Heisey  In the Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado (NF)  Seek You: A Journey Through American Loneliness by Kristen Radtke (GN)

WHAT ARE YOU READING? :D

Find me on: GOODREADS | THE STORYGRAPH

[cyn-the-black-rabbit]

La vie en Rose

Ontario

Ottawa

Pendragon Secret Academy

Faculties

William Cornett

Evangeline L'Heureux

Students

Courtney Lovejoy (Student Council President)

Bernard Corriveau-Vollant

Lyra Nightingale

Frédérique Poisson

Clémence Terrenoire

Nesta Bellini

Katrina Lambert

Angèle Sarrazin

Réjean LeFrançois

Lloyd Graham (from Downtown Detroit, Michigan)

Raoul Ives Lemaître

Marco D'Antoni

Damien Arseneault

Natalie Prud'Homme

Maysa Leonhardt

Véronique Chabonnier

[doctorsiren]

Art from my stream today! Raymond (catboy-ified) (top left corner) belongs to @itsnotjustgibberish and W1LL0W (bottom right) belongs to Dulce but I cannot remember her blog’s name for the life of me-

[nightingaletrash]

I have so many thoughts on Natalie and Ulysses and none of them are coherent

[tqila-sunset]

Content Warnings / DNI

My pages are all-ages spaces BUT :

I am a 22 year old and my interests tend to be pretty common for that demographic

Things I consider "inappropriate" for minors I reblog to a NSFW sideblog

I re/post adult-oriented content but it should all get marked/tagged as such by the appropriate systems

As long as you've got your tags and settings set up you should be fine but I do not regularly tag posts for content/trigger warnings, so block me if that would make your life easier

Demographic Information / About Me:

I live and work in Magandjin on the lands of the sovereign Yuggera and Turrabul peoples who have had their land stolen by the British Imperial colony of Australia

Anarchist-Communist / Libertarian-Socialist

Nonbinary / Genderqueer Transsexual

Butch Fag

Bisexual & Polyamorous Kinkster

Disabled by neurodivergences related to mood + sleep disorders, anxiety, trauma, and AuDHD

blogs: personal - @tqila-sunset, art - @pinkopansy, writing - @faggot-dykeism.

Opinions:

Land Back is one essential part of the decolonial post-capitalist world we must build in order to protect life on earth from climate change and fascism

Systems of oppression intersect heavily thus all collective struggle must be informed by intersectionality & the communal knowledge + practices of those who live at the margins of society

I'm pro-Abolition of: capitalism, authoritarian states, nation-state borders, whiteness/white-supremacy/"The West", prison, police, family, British-American Empire, gender/sex binaries, psychiatric interment.

Kink and sexual deviance should always be at the heart of Queer Liberation and LGBTQ+ Pride

Online subcultures including fandoms surrounding creative media, political leaders/ideologies, and queerness are highly vulnerable to manipulation by capitalists, imperialists, markets, and other bad actors - enjoying a few pieces of art shouldn't be the basis of your entire social circle and we all must organise socially and politically both off and online

Interests:

Politics - particularly Anarchist & Communist theory & history

Natural diversity + social deviance (including sexuality and disability)

Philosophy & Theology

Media analysis, history & theory

Essays - including video essays

Counter-culture subcultures

Specific Art/Media:

Games: Elden Ring (+DLC), Disco Elysium, Dark Souls 3 (+DLC), Pokemon (Soul Silver, Black, X, Sword), Legend of Zelda (Breath of the Wild, Tears of the Kingdom), Bloodborne, Sims (2, 3, 4,), Animal Crossing New Horizons

Film: Godzilla, Parasite, Snowpiercer, Cutie Honey, The Nightingale, Guillermo Del Toro's Pinocchio

TV: Bojack Horseman, Breaking Bad, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency, Steven Universe, Doctor Who

Podcasts: The Anthropocene Reviewed, Crash Course: The Universe, My Brother My Brother and Me, Dear Hank and John, Welcome to Nightvale, 99% Invisible, Sawbones, The Besties

Specific Artists:

Video Creators + Essayists: Trixie & the Golden Witch, FD Signifier, Jacob Geller, Natalie "Contrapoints" Wynn, Sophie from Mars, Patricia Taxxon, Lindsay Ellis, John & Hank Green, Abigail "PhilosophyTube" Thorn, Thought Slime, Cold Crash Pictures, Hbomberguy, Shaun, Verily Bitchie, Ro Ramdin, Mia Mulder, LextraYT, Leslie Exp, Foreign Man in a Foreign Land, Thomas Flight, Kat Blaque, Big Joel, Adam Conover, Broey Deschanel, Jim Stephanie Sterling, Noah Samsen, oliSUNvia, Shanspeare, Princess Weekes, Professor Flowers, Fab Socialism, Tirrrb, The Storyteller, Andrewism, lil bill, Thinkpiece Tribe, Philosynoir, Renegade Cut, Herby Revolus, Empire Wreckers, Dan Olsen, Nickolas Nameolas, Every Frame a Painting, Lessons from the Screenplay

Filmmakers: Jordan Peele, Bong Joon-Ho, Akira Kurosawa, Hayao Miyazaki, Hidetaki Anno, Guillermo Del Toro Lily & Lana Watchowski, Wes Anderson, Kristen Stewart

Actors: Dev Patel

Musicians: McCafferty, The Front Bottoms, Crywank, Sarah and the Safeword, Crass, She/Her/Hers, Against Me!, Flobots, My Chemical Romance, The Amity Affliction, Beartooth, PVRIS, Ludo

Writers: Errico Malatesta, bell hooks, Susan Stryker, Karl Marx, Zoe Baker, Julia Serano

Visual Artists: Junji Ito, Van Gogh

Game developers: Hidetaka Miyazaki, Hideo Kojima

[mzannthropy]

Sam Claflin + well developed female characters

I once posted a list of Sam's female-directed films [x], but as @jesstasticvoyage points out, it's also true that a lot of stuff he stars in features well developed female characters (I'm kinda tired of the "strong female character" phrase, so using this one instead). So, let's have a look at them.

The Hunger Games series (dir Francis Lawrence) - still the most obvious example for Sam as a role he's known for, and the purpose of this post. It's safe to say most people know Katniss Everdeen.

Their Finest (dir Lone Scherfig) - Gemma Arterton's character, Catrin, is an aspiring screenwriter hired to work on a script for a film about Dunkirk evacuation--this is a movie about a movie set during WW2. Sam is a fellow writer, in fact he is the one who discovered her. It's funny bc this takes place in 1940s and she gets the job of writing female characters, when even in our times we don't always have that. Worth noting is also Rachael Stirling's Phyl, a minor character but memorable and a lesbian--who doesn't die at the end. It's the straight relationship that gets treated like bury your gays trope this time!

The Nightingale (dir Jennifer Kent) - also known as the film in which Sam plays an absolute monster (you think Billy Dunne is bad, lol). The film centres on young convict Claire (Aisling Franciosi) seeking revenge for the indescribable harm done to her family. Basically, trigger warning for everything.

My Cousin Rachel (dir Roger Michell) - adaptation of Daphne du Maurier's novel. Sam plays Philip, the narrator, but Rachel is so intriguing, the whole story is named for her. She's played by her namesake, Rachel Weisz. There's also Louise (Holliday Granger), Philip's childhood friend. She's the relatable, girl next door type, but she is smart, in fact I think she is the one with the most braincells. (Also I have a theory about her, I think this version of Louise has a darker side!)

Enola Holmes (dir Harry Bradbeer) - title speaks for itself. Enola's mother is missing and the teenage heroine goes on a quest to find her and thus becomes a detective herself. Sam plays Mycroft, the eldest Holmes sibling, though he's far removed from the original Mycroft Holmes of Arthur Conan Doyle's books. Edith, who runs a teashop, is another notable female character.

Adrift (dir Baltasar Kormakur) - based on a true story of Tami Oldham, an amateur sailor, surviving 41 days adrift on the Pacific Ocean after a hurricane. Sam plays her bf Richard. Shailene Woodley has the role of Tami and is also the film's producer.

Riot Club (dir Lone Scherfig) - okay so what's this doing here, you ask, it's a film about an all-male elite club at Oxford. Yes but that's exactly the point, bc even though it is about an all male club, the female characters are surprisingly well developed. The play this is adapted from, Posh, was written by Laura Wade and the director is also a woman, so maybe it's not so surprising. We have Holliday Granger who plays the gf of one of the boys and Jessica Brown Findlay in the role of the pub landlord's daughter. Holliday's character certainly doesn't take any shit from the posh boys. Even Natalie Dormer in the role of a sex worker has enough self-respect to refuse their deranged requests, despite the amount of money it would earn her. Hence I include it on the list.

Charlie's Angels (dir Elizabeth Banks) - title speaking for itself, yet again. Sam's role is relatively minor.

Book of Love (dir Analeine Cal y Mayor) - a romcom. When Maria, played by Veronica Echegui, translates Henry's (Sam) unsuccessful book from English to Spanish, the book becomes a huge hit in Mexico. Turns out that while translating, she inserted some seriously hot steamy scenes. Sam travels to Mexico for promotion and the two of them now have to work together on the next book. So without Maria, the story would not exist and also, once Henry accepts the situation, he is happy to collaborate with her--and at the end, supports her in her own writing efforts. (If you can get round the premise, it is an enjoyable film.)

Daisy Jones and the Six - mini series based on a book of the same name. We have not one, not two, not three, but four amazing ladies to root for: Daisy, Camila, Karen and Simone. While Sam gives performance of a lifetime as the band's frontman Billy Dunne.

Other Notes:

Honourable mentions are Snow White (Kristen Stewart) in Snow White and the Huntsman, a film I have a definite soft spot for though there's many ways it could have been better. In The Corrupted Sam plays a convict who just got out of prison and reunites with his gf and son. The gf is played by Naomi Ackie. She's wary at first but does allow him back into her life and they get back together and raise their son. Unsure if another one of my faves, Pirates of the Caribbean On Stranger Tides apply. Sam's romance with the mermaid Syrena is my absolute favourite of his. She might seem helpless for majority of her screentime, bc she gets captured, turns human on dry land and is unable to walk as she's not used to having legs, Philip (Sam's character) has to carry her. But she was the one who saved him first. And POTC overall is not without good female characters.

[releasethekrakenwife]

These Hands, If Not Gods

Haven’t they moved like rivers— like Glory, like light— over the seven days of your body?

And wasn’t that good? Them at your hips—

isn’t this what God felt when he pressed together the first Beloved: Everything. Fever. Vapor. Atman. Pulsus. Finally, a sin worth hurting for. Finally, a sweet, a You are mine.

It is hard not to have faith in this: from the blue-brown clay of night these two potters crushed and smoothed you into being—grind, then curve—built your form up—

atlas of bone, fields of muscle, one breast a fig tree, the other a nightingale, both Morning and Evening.

O, the beautiful making they do— of trigger and carve, suffering and stars—

Aren’t they, too, the dark carpenters of your small church? Have they not burned on the altar of your belly, eaten the bread of your thighs, broke you to wine, to ichor, to nectareous feast?

Haven’t they riveted your wrists, haven’t they had you at your knees?

And when these hands touched your throat, showed you how to take the apple and the rib, how to slip a thumb into your mouth and taste it all, didn’t you sing out their ninety-nine names—

Zahir, Aleph, Hands-time-seven, Sphinx, Leonids, locomotura, Rubidium, August, and September— And when you cried out, O, Prometheans, didn’t they bring fire?

These hands, if not gods, then why when you have come to me, and I have returned you to that from which you came—bright mud, mineral-salt— why then do you whisper O, my Hecatonchire. My Centimani. My hundred-handed one?

–Natalie Diaz

[readingforsanity]

The Last Time I Lied | Riley Sager | Published 2018 | *SPOILERS*

Fifteen years ago, summer camper Emma Davis watched sleepily as her three cabin mates snuck out of their cabin in the dead of night. The last she - and anyone - saw of them was Vivian closing the cabin door behind her, hushing Emma with a finger pressed to her lips.

Now a rising star in the NYC art scene, Emma turns her past into paintings. They catch the attention of Francesca Harris-White, the socialite and wealthy owner of the very same Camp Nightingale - and when Francesca implores Emma to return to the camp as a painting counselor, Emma sees an opportunity to find closure and move on.

Yet, it is immediately clear that all is not right at Camp Nightingale. Already haunted by surfacing memories, Emma is suddenly plagued by a security camera pointed directly at her cabin, mounting distrust from Francesca, and not disturbing of all, cryptic clues Vivian apparently left behind about the camp's twisted origins. And as history begins to repeat itself and three girls go missing again, Emma must face threats from both man and nature in order to uncover all the buried secrets - including what really happened all those years ago.

Emma Davis as lived a tumultuous life. 15 years ago, her world came crashing down when 3 girls vanished from her summer camp with whom she had lived with briefly. Accusing the camp owner and director's son, Theo, Emma has spent the last 15 years wondering what happened to Vivian, Allison and Natalie.

Emma, now a painter, continues to paint the three girls before hiding them within her paintings. At her gallery show, Franny, the former owner of Camp Nightingale, returns into Emma's life, offering her a position at the newly reopened camp. Despite her reservations, Emma begins the preparations to take a leave of absence from work to return to the place that changed her life so suddenly.

At first, things seem to be going well. Emma is tasked to room with three girls: Miranda, Sasha and Krystal. The four of them become quite close, Emma being reminded of her closeness with the other three girls but in different ways. When Emma finds Vivian's hidden diary, it leads to more questions than answers. In it, Vivian hints at finding out a secret that she had planned to expose, something about Franny's dark past.

Following the clues, it leads Emma to the library where she finds information on a place called Peaceful Valley. Emma gives this information to her best friend Marc, requesting that he reach out to a former boyfriend who works for the New York City library. In the meantime, someone aware of Emma's return to the camp is messing with her; first by watching her in the shower, and then allowing three crows inside the cabin before shutting the door allowing Emma to find them inside before finally writing the word "liar" in bright red letters across the cabins front door.

It isn't until Emma and another former camper who has returned, Becca, discuss the events of that night that Emma begins to wonder what truly is going on with Camp Nightingale. Emma returns to her cabin, drunk, and confesses to the three girls what truly happened on the night that the former three girls vanished. Emma, having a crush on Theo at the time, was devastated when she found Vivian and Theo having sex in the shower; in her anger, when the three girls slipped out of the cabin in the early morning hours of July 5, Emma locked the door behind her and wouldn't allow them back in once they returned. After that, the girls had never been seen again.

Miranda, Krystal and Sasha are worried about Emma, and when she awakes the next morning to find the new three girls missing with no trace of them, Emma can't help but have a sense of deja vu. Detectives and search parties arrive on the camp premises, the remaining campers begin preparations to return to their homes and families while the mess is sorted out. Suspect number 1 is Emma, having been involved in some way in both of the disappearances having roomed with both sets of missing girls.

Emma is adamant that she is not involved, however, it was revealed earlier in the book that Emma previously went through mental health challenges, and that Franny deemed it necessary to have a camera pointed at the cabin. When reviewed, it appears the girls had only left five minutes prior to Emma waking up to head to the bathroom only to realize they were missing. With no other cameras on the premises, nobody is going to believe Emma when she says she followed them simply to find where they were, and not to hurt them.

On the penultimate night, Emma receives the information from Marc that she was waiting for. Peaceful Valley was an insane asylum on the very grounds that the Harris-White family now owns. Armed with this knowledge, she confronts Franny and Lottie, Franny's trusted assistant. What she learns is far from what she expected: Lottie's grandfather was Charles Cutler, and he created Peaceful Valley in the hopes of giving women who were being treated unfairly in other asylums around New York a place to be safe. Though it got expensive to run, and he tried to sell their hair, with their permission, to make wigs in order to help offset expenses, but this only lasted for a short period of time. Lottie's great-grandfather then met with Buchanan Harris, Franny's great-grandfather and the familial relationship began. There was nothing sinister going on in the asylum.

Emma, without any other leads in the disappearances of either set of friends, heads across Lake Midnight in hopes of searching for more clues on the missing girls. What she finds are comic book pages ripped out, left behind as bread crumbs in the hope of finding their way back. Thankfully, Emma finds them inside of a hut that was buried amongst the rocks, alive though severely dehydrated and ill. Emma is able to save them by removing the boulder from outside of the door allowing them to become free. But instead of this going smoothly, Emma finds Theo following her, having seen her from the Lodge where he resided with his family.

This all but confirms what Emma originally suspected of Theo 15 years ago. She attacks him and attempts to get away, but while hiding, finds herself in a cave where she falls before landing in a smaller reservoir of water. Unable to get out, she realizes that she is just as trapped as the other girls must have been with no way out. She briefly loses consciousness before coming to, finding Vivian there before her, though only in her imagination.

Vivian explains that she has laid out everything for Emma to figure out what had happened. When Emma realizes that the cave is no longer dark and is bright enough to show daylight, she is able to get out by swimming through the hidden lake out into the much larger lake. Although injured and spent from the swim underneath the cave into the open water, Emma is thankful to see Chet, Theo's 10 years younger brother, on his way to rescue her. But instead of doing so, he attacks her.

Chet explains that the events of 15 years ago had completely ruined his family and quite nearly ruined his brother after her accusations. His family lost their fortune, only holding onto the apartment his mother lives in in Manhattan along with the property the lake is on. Although Chet was only 10 years old when it happened, he saw how his family suffered in the meantime, and he felt he needed to do something about it, although he didn't know what. He admits to being surprised that Emma would return after all of this time.

Chet has taken Emma into a part of the lake she hasn't seen before, and to her horror, she finds the remnants of Peaceful Valley underneath the lake, a part of the campfire tale about the property being true. Franny's great-grandfather, who built the lake by hand, had flooded the building leaving it to rot underneath the water for at least a hundred years. When Chet goes to attack Emma again, a gunshot rings out and Emma flings herself from the boat, floating through the water and subsequently through the building.

When she finally stops and is able to look around, she sees the inside of what was once Peaceful Valley but to further her horror, she sees bones of the original missing girls, only confirmed by the locket that one of them wore. Theo saves her, having jumped in after her and Detective Flynn is holding Chet at gunpoint.

Emma spends a few days in a local hospital, recovering along with the new missing girls. When released, she returns to Camp Nightingale, where both the Harris-White families and herself forgive each other.

Later, Emma begins painting again after going through a brief period where she couldn't. She begins painting what she calls the underwater series, this time showcasing the events of what happened to the original missing girls. Theo, whom she would like to begin a relationship, decides to take another year with Doctors without Borders in Africa for at least a year. He comes to this decision after Franny's death from ovarian cancer a few months prior.

At Emma's newest gallery opening, her friends and family appear to show their support. She had only found out earlier that day that the remains found inside Peaceful Valley only belonged to Allison and Natalie, no Vivian had been found. Wanting to cancel but pushing to go forth with it, lead Vivian back to Emma.

She appears at the showing, wanting to play the game that started it all: Two Truths and a Lie. She explains that the untimely death of her older sister Katherine wasn't nearly an accidental drowning everyone believed. Prior to going to camp that year, she had found out that Allison and Natalie had been involved, coercing her out onto the frozen lake, and then doing nothing to save her after she was unable to get out of the water. She researched Peaceful Valley and found the perfect place to hide their bodies after she lured them away, them having confessed to the crime the night they disappeared.

Vivian tells Emma to move on, that Vivian has been "dead" for 15 years and she needs to let it go. But, instead, Emma goes home that night and paints Vivian as she looks now and will give this information to the police, in order to bring justice for what Vivian did all those years ago. Emma refuses to continue to lie.

[vironicadart]

These Hands, If Not Gods

Natalie Diaz - 1978

Haven’t they moved like rivers—
like Glory, like light—
over the seven days of your body?

And wasn’t that good?
Them at your hips—

isn’t this what God felt when he pressed together
the first Beloved: Everything.
Fever. Vapor. Atman. Pulsus. Finally,
a sin worth hurting for. Finally, a sweet, a
You are mine.

It is hard not to have faith in this:
from the blue-brown clay of night
these two potters crushed and smoothed you
into being—grind, then curve—built your form up—

atlas of bone, fields of muscle,
one breast a fig tree, the other a nightingale,
both Morning and Evening.

O, the beautiful making they do—
of trigger and carve, suffering and stars—

Aren’t they, too, the dark carpenters
of your small church? Have they not burned
on the altar of your belly, eaten the bread
of your thighs, broke you to wine, to ichor,
to nectareous feast?

Haven’t they riveted your wrists, haven’t they
had you at your knees?

And when these hands touched your throat,
showed you how to take the apple and the rib,
how to slip a thumb into your mouth and taste it all,
didn’t you sing out their ninety-nine names—

Zahir, Aleph, Hands-time-seven,
Sphinx, Leonids, locomotura,
Rubidium, August, and September—
And when you cried out, O, Prometheans,
didn’t they bring fire?

These hands, if not gods, then why
when you have come to me, and I have returned you
to that from which you came—bright mud, mineral-salt—
why then do you whisper O, my Hecatonchire. My Centimani.
My hundred-handed one?