#nasty sewer man

[alyakthedorklord]

How Ghosts/Danny sees the League of Assassins/Ra’s al Ghul

I have seen a lack of world building regarding the LoA in all those dp x dc “Jason caught a ghost disease when he got dropped in Grandaddy Ra’s glowing green gamer-girl bathwater of eternal youth” fics and that is a goddamn shame bc… how does Danny see them?

Okay so the Lazarus Pits are weird messed up ectoplasm, fanon has decided, yada yada. Be it waste water seeping through to their reality, trapped ectoplasm stagnated and warped into something wrong, corrupted toxic waste, basically sewers of the Infinite Realms that throw off the balance of souls (pit rage) and reality (cheating death.)

But if the Lazarus Pits are Sewers, then does this… does this mean…

Does this mean the League of Assassins are New York Sewer Rats?

BC LIKE- prolonged exposure to the Weird Ectoplasm has slightly mutated their souls and made them stronger/more violent. They’ve adapted into an entirely different BREED and staked their claim and Danny COULD, logically, beat one in a fight easily if he really wanted to.

But like… would you want to? It’s a SEWER RAT they stinks and definitely carrying all kinds of diseases and they’re scurrying all over the place with thier tiny little maladapted cores what the FUCK. It fears no god. What do you even win, the sewer? They can keep that. Now you’re just an idiot that got jumped by a rat. Go get a shower. And maybe a rabies shot. Eugh.

[chunkecheeks]

I don’t know exactly how you differ from the popular phantom fandom, but as someone who enjoys it yet admits it’s kinda bad and refuses to ship phantom/christine I’d love to hear your thoughts

yeah that's just it i don't ship phantom/christine and that's all i see when i look in the tag or follow blogs 😭

like i'm not even really begrudging the people who ship it i know a lot of people just find it interesting as is and a lot of people also have aus to fix all the problems there but even then i dont CARE i just do not care about this ship. i do not care. there's so much in this musical that's interesting and having that dynamic being actually romantic is not interesting to me in the slightest. i also think alw phantom is a nasty little sewer worm man so i'm not really interested in shipping him with anyone

anyways if anyone is out there posting other phantom stuff that isn't just that ship please. please i beg of you let me follow you

[todayisafridaynight]

Why are you saying that about Tanimura

You loooooove Makoto Date

because makoto date isn't a cop anymore you DINGUS he's a failwife bartender journalist who can't be trusted to watch haruka for more than five minutes because she's going to end up kidnapped and kiryu's gonna find him crying on the floor battered and bruised

[radiance1]

So, Danny was effectively homeless.

His parents are dead, his sister is dead, his friends are dead. Hell, even Vlad, Vlad kicked the fucking bucket which, Danny genuinely never expected.

Vlad was supposed to be his nemesis, his main bad guy, the guy Danny's supposed to constantly pull everything out against just to win. Not to mention how significant his presence was.

A part of him assumed that Vlad would always be there and him not being there and knowing he won't be there ever again is... weird.

So you're probably asking, how exactly did this happen?

Well you see, the nasty burger exploded, for one thing. Then when he was under Vlad's care both of them got outed for being ghosts to the GIW, which was technically Danny's fault, since he did something extremely stupid.

Somehow they got caught, and life under the GIW was not great in the slightest. The constant experiments, the dehumanization (Sometimes Danny doesn't even register himself as human), the amount of times their feelings were utterly disregarded, and so, so much more.

The GIW found Vlad to be more dangerous than Danny, even if he lacked the raw power Danny had his intellect made him dangerous and for good reason. For it was because of said intellect that Danny managed to escape.

Vlad didn't manage to do the same.

Danny hated reliving that memory. Because Vlad was a villain, evil and self-serving, he shouldn't be sacrificing himself for his literal greatest enemy to escape in his stead (Not that Vlad would say Danny was his greatest, he would probably say it was the person who refused him to buy the packers). It was just, so utterly stupid and out of character for him.

So, Danny managed to escape, Vlad died. He couldn't even say anything about Dani because she got destabilized in front of him, in front of both of them actually. It hurt to watch and, he didn't quite know the specifics between Dani and Vlad anymore, but he thinks they were getting... better.

Not how it was when Dani was first created, but Vlad was working on mending it. Which, honestly, just makes everything worse.

Danny isn't powerless but it's a damn close thing. He's far weaker than he normally would be, and he's injured on top of that too boot, his powers can barely work and it's just so stupid.

So here he was, hiding out in some random sewer because he didn't want to take the risk of being on the surface and he hates the smell, but he'll take that over being experimented on again. So, Danny spends most of his time in the sewers of this place called Gotham, he even managed to make his own little area with a couch he stole and a few other appliances that were thrown out.

He lacked a Tv or laptop, but he found a yo-yo! Most of his time was spent practicing various tricks with his yo-yo.

It got boring fast. But it was really the only safe thing he could do when waiting for his powers to come back. At least he's a god at yo-yoing now.

It was while doing various tricks with it in some random sewer path, that a literal, goddamn crocodile-man just splashed up from sewer water and half-laid on the edge, since his lower body was still in the water.

Danny looked at his yo-yo, the crocodile, and then slowly stepped on over and gently poked the crocodile dude.

He made a sound, so he was alive!

Finally! Someone to appreciate his godly yo-yoing skills!

[fantaghoul]

Okay but why is no one talking about the Wonka movie?!

Four neurodivergent enslaved mfs, an orphan girl that has been abused, and an autistic chocolate loving mess of a man joined toghether to make chocolate and faced police brutality, broke a giraffe out of the zoo, defeated the chocolate mafia, defeated a cult that helped said mafia and followed a religion based on chocolate, got sent multiple death threats over just making chocolate, and had to use sewers to travel the city just to not get beaten by police officers. And they did all of that while being stuck basically being slaves of a very nasty old woman who charged them money for even breathing in her general direction. And I haven't even talked about how absolutely fruity the villains are.

Also did I mention it's a musical?

10/10 movie it's really fun

[katealpha]

Art by Zenny’s Club

https://x.com/clubzenny?s=21&t=Y5k0MmFAcnmbYxSfSGgVFA

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It was great to be out of Pam’s strangling vines, thought Catwoman as she dropped onto the edge of a building from a guardrail above. Behind her was another, larger building that cast a shadow over the famed cat burger. It was the place that Selena had just made her way out of. An old brick built structure that was covered in emerald tendrils that bore blood red flowers. Practically the signature colors of former doctor Pamela Isley. Of course, everyone knew her as Poison Ivy, the ecoterrorist widely considered one of the deadliest women alive. Selena liked to believe she was somewhere on that list. Being able to clear rooms full of men bigger than herself had to count for something. Plus, she had just survived another brush with death

Just moments earlier, Selena found herself hanging upside down at Ivy’s mercy. Only due to necessity. Selena knew of a pair of cases locked away in the Arkham City vault. The newly opened open air prison had a place where the valuables of select inmates were kept. A place she couldn’t just break into on her own. Some force was needed, and with Bane locked up in a toy factory somewhere, Mr Freeze occupied by his popsicle of a bride, and Croc probably eating someone someplace in the sewers, Selena went with the only choice she felt was right for this. Selena expected the redhead to be mad at her for that one time she forgot to water her flowers during some getaway that the burglar had long forgotten, but what she didn’t expect was for Ivy to leave her with something before agreeing to help and let Selena on her merry way. While she was still upside down and before Ivy agreed to drop her, one of the free plant tendrils forced its way into Selena’s mouth, and she felt something pump down her gullet.

Selena wondered what that was about, still having the sour taste of chlorophyll in her mouth and a tingling feeling in the pit of her stomach. Selena spat to the side to get that taste out and then without further adieu, she kicked off the corner of the building, and with her whip she swung over the ice cold waters of the flooded portion of the so-called amusement mile. She was eager to get that loot that Ivy agreed to help her get her claws on, but had no idea what was already set in stone, and that a sour feeling on her tongue and TYGER Guards were going to be the least of her concerns that night.

Five minutes later

The feeling of her heels bashing the skull of a TYGER guard in was more than satisfying for Cartman as she dispatched the last of them that were sent to investigate the sudden vine attack on the storage facility door. Her green eyes watched the man fall limb onto the asphalt, sunglasses broken by the force of her kick. Everyone one of these pricks had it coming, thought Selena. In this quiet moment as sne stood over the manhole cover that led to the underground entrance of her destination however, she began to feel a little off. There was a sudden low groan that audibly bubbled in her lower abdomen. It was an intense enough feeling that it caused her to stop in her stride towards the sewer entrance and hold her clawed hand over her belly. Selena felt bloated. Like she had eaten leftover fast food earlier and her body was reminding her that, hey, fast food is bad for your lifestyle. The bloated feeling didn’t go away seconds later.

“Ugh, either you drank spoiled milk earlier, or Ivy put something really nasty in me. Better hurry up and get that plant back…” Selena muttered to herself before heading down the manhole with quick succession.

Once inside the tunnel, Selena surveyed the damage that Ivy’s vines had done. There were shattered bricks and bits of concrete laying all over the place which she found herself stepping over. Ahead was a series of holes in the walls that had been punched into wide enough to create a hole wide enough for Selena to simply walk through until she arrived at the front door. The storage facility was right there, and as she walked into the empty security room, another churn rippled through her gut. The feeling was a bit more intense this time. Had someone been standing next to her, they’d have heard the noise. Selena once again rubbed her hand against her stomach as she approached the camera feed. The vault was guarded by two armed guards, as well as an extra detail that patrolled the surrounding area that seemed to be a maze of halls and shelves. She sighed with relief as she saw that she’d be able to open the vault from here, though she’d need to obtain three key cards from the guards. It would be easy enough, assuming her raunchy stomach didn’t start acting up on the fly.

For the next several minutes, the guards patrolling the room were completely unaware of the latex-clad woman lurking above them. Not noticing as a gloved and clawed hand slipped into their pants pockets, pulling out each key card until she had three in hand. Once back in the security room, Selena began to use the card, ignoring the growing feeling in her stomach. She couldn’t let this sudden bloat slow her down. She was so close. All she could do was rub around again to soothe the rising pressure she felt inside. The last thing she needed was to be flatulent in close proximity to one of these armed guards as she was taking them out, because that’s what she would half to do in order to get inside that Vault. Soon, Selena jumped back into the fray, now set on knocking out every guard in the area before moving into the vault. As she moved about the facility, crawling through the vents, dropping onto guards, choking each one out, Selena could swear that she could feel her stomach pressing into her suit more than it usually did. Was she really bloating up here? The rumblings of her belly ironically coincided with the ground shaking around the facility, Protocol 10 already underway outside.

With the last guard dealt with, the vault was all hers. Her stomach wasn’t feeling much better or worse, but there was a constant gurgling sensation that persisted. In the table at the other end of the room were a pear of metallic painted cases, and a single potted plant. In a moment of sly spite for the one who had put her through so much trouble to reach her just hours earlier, she approached the plant and chuckled, picking it up.

“Try and tie me up in your plants, like hell.” Selena purred. With a smirk, she dropped it onto the floor where the pot shattered. She then stamped the dry soil and leaves for good measure. A chuckle in her throat.

Catwoman then came to realize that doing that may have been a bad life choice. As she approached the table again for the loot cases sitting upon it, a much stronger reaction took place in Selena’s gut. A deep, ominous churn roared from within, and the feeling was enough to make the thief lean over with a grunt. The bloated feeling exploded, and Selena felt her stomach pushing out and straining against her already skintight suit. Her back curved inwards and Selena turned her body to lean against the table, finally watching with wide eyes as her belly visibly grew outwards under her suit and desperately pushing hand, a futile attempt to make it stop. During this moment, her voice came out as gasps and grunts, her words lost in her throat until the growing stopped. Selena was now panting and sweating in shock, staring down at her belly which now looked like she was about to give birth to twins. It heaved in and out with her breath, and Selena finally found the will to at least say something to herself.

“What the hell??¦I shouldn’t have done that just now….what is happening to me…am I pregnant?…” Her frightened eyes wandered the expanse of her midriff. Inside, there was that constant gurgling, as well as a gentle shifting sensation. It felt like a bad dream, but there was nobody here to pinch her. Whatever Ivy had pumped into her body, it was growing, and it was alive, and somehow, her suit hadn’t ripped open yet despite the size of her stomach.

Before Selena could compose herself, more TYGER guards stormed the room, ready to apprehend her. They faltered, seeing her current state. One of the guards held up their radio to their cloth covered mouth.

“Professor, Catwoman seems to have undergone some kind of accelerated pregnancy since she’s been here.”

Strange’s deep and posh voice replied over the radio. “Most fascinating. Be sure to take her alive then. Perhaps there’s something more I can learn from her.”

Selena groaned and pushed off the table, bracing herself to fight again, now expecting to be weighed down by her new, massively bloated belly. She’d worry about what was happening once she got some more alone time. Pregnant with a plant monster or not, she wasn’t going quietly.

“You don’t say…don’t expect me to go any easier on you boys.” With a deep breath and clenched teeth, she extended her claws and took hold of her whip as the guards began to come closer.

To be continued…

[you-cant-fuck-megaman]

get dumpin', 'cause this man ain't pumpin'.

pump man works at a wastewater treatment plant, dealing with water purification. you ever wanted to fuck a sewer? thought of getting nasty with some nasty toilet pipes? get out of that water, sport, 'cause this ain't no place for watersports.

i get that you might want to introduce some contaminants of your own to the water, but there's a much better answer to your rampant thirst, and that's a healthy and refreshing glass of water.

he can give you that, at least.

[circeius-invidioso]

👏🏻 Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay.👏🏻

Those 4 Liber books. Which ones you may ask.

These ones.

Now that we are all in the same page.

✨️Let's talk about them.✨️

Not good enough to be collected.

Not bad enough to be forgotten.

And not forget them we shall.

The tall and short of the story:

They are expansion packs to the main tabletop rpg game. And you guessed correctly it add daemons etc etc.

That etc etc is.

Liber Ecstatica : Slaanesh and horny on main cults.

Liber Infectus : Nurgle and dirty plagues.

Liber Mutatis : Tzeentch and birdy mutations.

Liber Carnagia : Khorne and angy serial killers. (No the spelling error was on purpose. Cause our boy real angy)

+ an adventure on theme with the above.

A solid 3/ 10.

Unless you are a writer and need basic descriptions of daemons and fluff then its a decent 3.5/ 10.

Now.

Now that we dealt with that.

Its time.

For the tall and longer.

And in depth analysis and my personal ice cold takes and my thesis of - this would have been lit if we played the villains pov.

I could be talking about the latest books, hell I could be talking about dnd. But no me and you we are here and we are stuck and for the next 5 minutes I am the captain and I will take you on an adventure.

🐙Liber Mutatis - feat Dj BoBo and the Mutants are Alive🐙

Nothing gets me more going than referances that weren't funny even in 2007.

What the book adds to gameplay?

Mutations. From bird beaks to tentacle limbs in case you decide to multipraise Slaanesh on the side.

Because you aren't just a chicken worshipper, you are a wizard and what best way to show it that gaining an additional 30 eyeballs for all those books you want to read.

This book is your one stop to fond some very basic mutations to add to a game.

And when I say basic. I mean basic, don't expect great stuff. But I guess this might have been part of the plan...

What's the included adventure like?

You team goes in a town to find why all those apprentices have been taking such a long unauthorized day off.

Well they were kidnapped by a cult with a ringleader being a shop keeper with a Lord of Change tranformed as a parrot named Bobo that births pink eggs.

Then they feed those pink eggs to create mutant bird people.

Your job is to stop it. Not the most original ideal... but what would it be if you played the adventure from the cultists pov?

Dj Bobo and his gang of squidmen

You heard the adventure of the heroes. But how would it be if you were the bad guy?

🐙 One player would pretend to be the shopkeeper with his pet parrot that births oversized pink eggs and you have to smuggle them and hide the fact from the people who came to stop you in the city.

🐙 The second will be the immortal nun with only her face intact in the soup house cooking for the poor and using the eggs to create mutant by trying to convince the people that those pink eggs are totally edible what do you mean eggs are not pink. Maybe you are seeing things...

🐙 The third one is squidward at the gates. Basically a war veteran that lost his legs. But jokes on them. The big bird man gave you tentacles and you will be wizzing throught the sewers like a getski.

🐙 The fourth will be the person kidnapping those student wizard kids, bagging them up and send them to the ritual site alongside your grizzled unshaven gang of pain assistants.

🐙 Finally someone can even take the role of the bird. Blasting eggs before the time of the summoning happens when they will be blasting magic and turning the whole city into a lethal rave.

🪲Liber Infectus- Grandaddy Nurgle's Black Death Clown Parade🪲

If only I was joking... stick around and find out more...

What the book adds to gameplay?

A wide selection of how you and your players can seriously get down with the sickness.

Besides that all the basic nasty descriptions about the warps most unwashed denizens. Basic. But we all start from somewhere, like how a rash develops into a mouth and eats the person living next door.

What's the included adventure like?

Evil doctor spreads a plague you are there to stop it etc etc. You can see where this goes from the words "initial symptom development".

Those sick clowns I mentioned

On the final part of the adventure a clown parade, with music and performers and everything. Pops in town and is ready to kick pc ass.

And the only thing I got to say is.

Why can't I play their pov.

The idea of five sick honk honk clowns in a cart playing music and spreading the literal word on nurgle with a mutant strapped on the back. Sounds like a wild adventure.

It sounds a lot more enjoyable than sitting around asking people "so when did the first symptom begin and how are you feeling?"

Give me the clowns. With their dancing plague and their bouncing nurglings on a wacky adventure to evade the law.

Fast and furiously popping knees and bursting shins.

⚘️Liber Carnagia- Renaming Khorne into Gandhi ⚘️

Again. Wait and I will explain this as well.

What the book adds to gameplay?

Nothing. Of value. Is it obvious that this one was my least favorite?

Whats the included adventure like?

Theres a magical angy spear and your job is to be beaten down and not kill anyone. Just sit with your thumb-tacks up your ass and do nothing.

That's what the adventure is.

In the book of Khorne what you are asked to do is not fight anyone.

The irony is so deep, I screamed that's deep bro and a lovecraftian horror responded from the chasm "I know".

Putting the K of Killer back into Khorne

A murder hobo adventure. That's it. It's a lot better than going to a besieged nun house and sitting on the grass asking those raiders to pretty please let go of the hostages.

Chaos, mayhem. If I was the dm I'd put everyone in a nonr stop 4 hour rollercoaster of blood, guts, bullets and norwegian death metal music playing in the background before they all die gloriously into a massive raid burning imperial churches.

Then go to hell, become daemons and be yeeted back into the mortal world to kick even more ass.

🪷Liber Ecstatica- And the Dick Measuring Olympics 🪷

The title will again make sense soon I swear.

What the book adds to gameplay?

Cults, anything you need to know about a basic degenerate cult. From poison chuggers to vape huffers and even vegetable shovers.

This is your one stop to make a bare bones cult for your games.

What's the included adventure like?

A girl is being chased after many eligible bachelors of the city.

And your job is to stop them from doing so.

How did this adventure start?

A rich old dude didn't like that an "average" in his eyes poor, low noble had admirers. So obviously its witchcraft.

The reason is as sound as an airplane made of shredded cheese. And the book is weidly mean about it.

Like the girl is fine. But everyone is like "she is not a busty noble that cries gold so obviously theres foul play, also have I told you that she is average".

Oh the crimes against humanity. If the adventure began and the noble was like "yeah my son flayed himself while screaming her name" then sure. I'd be calling foul play.

Busting a Nut not Busting a Move

The same but instead of having 10 men fighting over a decent, everyday girl its Danny Devito art critic and the whole team tries to complete the ritual and avoiding the witch hunters from burning their "beauty".

We are already dealing with a daemon that has magically roofied the local men in order to be freed from a magical mirror. We might as well make it into a comedy skit.

This is a game about the ultimate degenerates, extreme is the only word we must know. And you know what would be even better.

All of the players are grade A spandex bdsm supermodels and have to promote gollum as a drop dead nuke level bombshell.

[autffiy]

My supernatural DR Stories part 1

Hello lovelies,

As promised I would tell you some of my favorite little stories from my Supernatural DR. Grab a coffee, tea or water because hell, this uis going to be a multi part series i think. I got so much to tell.

Mind you.. this is not series accurate so please don't come for me thank tou very much.

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First of all, I'm going to tell you a little bit about my DR self. So you guys can get to know my DR self a little better! {this will be written in my DR POV, little snippets from my DR journal. how fun.} I started writing this journal in September when I hadn't even met the Winchester brothers yet. So you will follow me on my journey when I meet the Winchesters. I started writing in this journal to keep up with my cases... and all the weird stuff happening around me.

₀₉₋₀₁₋₂₀₀₅

"So my name is Ashly Rowan, I'm a 22 year old girl who is currently moving from motel to motel because ha... i don't have a fucking steady job.. or a home. I drive a sage green 1975 ford F-100 which i sleep in most days... not the most comy tbh. It is now, september 1st when i'm starting to write this journal. I'm now in a motel in Little Rocks- Arkansas. Trying to figure out one of those stupid cases again... on my own. It's a vampire case, nothing too bad. Wish dad was here, he would be.. well probably in shock that i didn't do anything like college or something like that. But also would be proud that i was hunting the thing he got killed by....."

¹⁰⁻³⁰⁻²⁰⁰⁵

"I'm currently writing in my car.. I'm on my way to Bobby's house. Bobby Singer.. that old man. Sweet, but feisty and well.. old. But nothing i can't handle. I need his help with a case. Some nasty skin walker a few towns ahead. I need his advice.. and possible help because hell that thing escaped me many.. many times. My ribs are bruised.. and i have a few cuts on my face. Nothing to worry about. I found out that dad had some connection with the supernatural world before he died... but what?? That's what i need to find out.. Maybe i can ask Bobby? Anyhow.. I'm going to sleep now.. in my car in a parking lot at a gas station. Woohoo... goodnight."

The following day on october 31st, Halloween moring i drove the last bit to Bobby's house. Franticly knocking on his door. That's when i met Sam and Dean, their dad went on a hunting trip and hadn't come back. And Sam's girlfriend Jessica got burned up in flames a couple day's prior. Just how their mom died.. Well that's what they told me. I knew a little bit about John Winchester, because various hunters had told me about him. From what i heard he was a prick... but i didn't say that to their faces obviously.

Fast forward a few days later where the boys helped me take down the shapeshifter. We tracked its location down, it was staying in a sewer, of course. We made a game plan. All would enter different entrances of the sewer. So we could lock it in. This was I think one of the most terrible cases ever, so yada yada ya we walked our paths, all circling the skinwalker now. Then it decided to fucking run my way??? So now o was standing there.. in a sewer, covered in fucking slimy, bloody skin walker skin. Since Dean decided to blow that fuckers head off out of reflex. Fantastic... Definitely what I planned. We ended up cleaning off at the motel and meeting back at a diner to grab some food...

So this was basically my first few weeks in my DR. It was nightmare fuel in some ways, skinwalkers are definitely terrifying and I hate them. But even though, it was pretty fun if I say so. The brothers are so funny and sweet.

I will make other parts of this soon, i loveee telling you guys about my stories. Feel free to ask any questions, i'm happy to answer them.

xoxo alli.

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Tip jar

[bettydice]

Astarion drinks Tav's blood while she's high, it has an effect

"I want that man seeing every non-real color that ever didn't exist" - @loquaciousquark

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This had been the worst day of Astarion's life. Well. In recent memory, at least. Alright, maybe not as bad as their time spent in the sewers. Or Shiv waving a severed clown hand in front of his face. Or getting thrown down three flights of stairs by fucking ghosts. Nevermind all that business of confronting his past, killing Cazador, etc etc that happened ages ago and maybe even counted as a good day, all things considered, no need to go into that right now anyway, thankyouverymuch, he'd-

"I really want to thank you again for your help today, Astarion. We may not have found any clues as to my father's whereabouts, but protecting those vulnerable refugee orphans... ah, maybe one day a tale will be told about The Blade and The Fang, Protectors of the Innocent! What do you think?" Wyll smiled at him with shimmering eyes and clapped his shoulder. He was being companionable.

No, this was the worst day of his life.

"Innocent? I'm pretty sure one of those nasty little rat bastards tried to steal from me while we were fighting off... whatever those things were." Astarion took a deep breath, preparing to unleash a long tirade about the absolutely mortifying and offensive concept of 'The Blade and The Fang', but before he could even start, Wyll clapped his shoulder again and laughed.

"Good times, good times. Ah, I see Karlach's gentle glow in the distance; we've reached camp. I wonder what Gale will be cooking tonight, it is a mystery and a wonder every day, isn't it? Ah, my mistake, you're not as interested in that sort of food, are you? I apologize, should I have maybe bought you a lively chicken as thanks for your help today?" "I'd rather not have a mouth full of feathers, thank you very much. I hate you. Goodbye." Astarion sped up his steps, to get away from the walking annoyance behind him as quickly as possible, eyes searching frantically for his Shiv. He needed to be with someone normal, as soon as possible.

"See you later, my friend!"

Argh!

Ah, there she was! His Shiver! How much she must have missed him today. Never again would he leave her side, no matter which unappealing things she wanted to do. He'd thought he hated the sewers and Githyanki politics more than he hated Wyll's prattle, but oh, how he'd been mistaken.

"My darling, I have returned" Astarion loudly proclaimed, to draw her attention away from Halsin, who she was sitting next to while looking out at the water.

To his immense satisfaction, Shiv immediately turned around and smiled tenderly when their eyes met.

Instead of saying anything, she just extended her hand, and tugged him down to her side as soon as he took it. After a quick glance to make sure she didn't look and smell like sewers anymore, he put his arm around her, so she could snuggle up to his side.

"I assume everything went we-ah!"

A bear tongue licked his cheek.

"No! Bad Rosie! Shiv, tell her to stop - NO!"

Rosie licked his other cheek! And all Shiv did was giggle.

Ah. Overly affectionate magical bear, very relaxed and giggly Shiv... Right.

Astarion started giving Rosie scritches and she immediately collapsed and put her head in his lap, huffing happily. He turned to look at Halsin who smiled at him a little sheepishly.

"There was a merchant in the sewers. Or something akin to a merchant. She had some... rare herbs."

"And you indulged before dinner? I am scandalized." Astarion was a little miffed. Just a tiny bit. Because usually Shiv didn't chew on her mushroom and other assorted goods when he wasn't around, at least not to the point she got like this. She'd explicitly told him, that she only felt safe enough to fully relax when he was there. And what, now Halsin was good enough?

"I didn't mean to! I just wanted to have a little taste, to see if it even was any good." Shiv looked up at him with large, apologetic eyes, her pupils gigantic. He was a little touched that even though her mind was in the Astral Plane right now she could sense what was bothering him.

"Well, I am happy for you that you were able to acquire some good drugs." He sighed dramatically. "While some of us have to simply endure the hardships of the day without the sweet relief of helpful substances."

Shiv snorted, obviously immediately understanding what he was getting at here. "Aw, no, we can't have that! Want a treato?"

Astarion happily took her offered wrist, but before he could bite into it, Halsin made an alarmed sound.

"Are you sure that's wise? This stuff is pretty strong and combined with the effect her blood already has on you..."

"Oh, please. Your concern is sweet, my dear, but it would hardly be the first time we've done this. It'll only make my Shiv taste... well-seasoned."

"Like pickled hook horror meat!" Shiv happily croaked, though neither Astarion nor Halsin felt particularly inclined to ask her to tell them more about that topic.

Instead, Astarion lowered his head and consumed his treato.

_________________________

Floating, he was floating. In an ocean of purplebright. No, a deep blue. Deeper than any blue that existed, it was all-encompassing, he could taste it.

He heard and felt the waves in the distance or maybe right next to his ear.

"Astarion?" A hand on his cheek, turning his head around, and around, and around. Shiv looked down at him from below, her eyes as black as the night sky. He could see stars in them! "Oh shit."

Shiv laughed and he could feel that, too. Her laugh gently rocked him like the waves and he clung to her hand, not wanting to float away from her.

Then they were moving together, together in the ebb and flow of the ocean. Where were they going? Not important. He put his face against Shiv's neck and inhaled. Mhmmmmmmmm. He started laughing, but then didn't know how to stop.

"Here, sit down." Her face appeared in front of him again and when he touched her cheek, he was so happy when she didn't dissolve into dust. He touched her nose. Still there!

She took his face between her hands. "The drugs appear to be very good. But we're alone now. So don't worry and just... enjoy." He wanted to tell her how beautiful she was, but he'd forgotten how to speak. Ah, there was a simpler way anyway! Astarion kissed her and opened his mind to her at the same time.

Shiv's eyes full of stars, her smile the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Astarion presses a kiss to my skin before he bites me, nobody has ever been this gentle with me. I stroke the shaved part of her head, admiring my handiwork. Now she won't even think of trusting someone else to do this. He waits until the others are a few paces ahead, then hands me a wooden bear figurine. "I thought it looked a bit like your Rosie. Thankfully without the slobber." Never before have I fallen asleep next to someone and felt safe. Never before have I... never before. I love you. I love you. Never before.

[controversial-blorbo-bracket]

Controversial Character Tournament Round 2: Kromer from Limbus Company vs Anders from Dragon Age 2

(remember that these characters are fictional and your fellow tumblr users are real. please be normal in the notes, i will not hesitate to block if you harass people)

Propaganda under the cut:

Kromer:

HATE: - "Nasty, scrungly, murders people for having advanced prosthetics, but yet the fandom still loves her, I will never understand that"

Anders:

LOVE: - "So Anders blew up a chantry as a symbol of mage rights. He's wild. Completely feral. I love him so much. He's canonically Bipolar (like me) but it's written in the worst possible way. He is possessed by a demon, technically. He's so unhinged. So many people hate him. He is technically a terrorist. The later game literally changed it so even if you agreed with him, no you didn't" - "hes SOOOOOO." - "He has a controversy page on wikipedia (It is not about that time he blew up a church). He likes cats. He gives poor people free magic healthcare. There is so much discourse about him all the time. His writer hated him. He escaped a cult. He's canon bipolar AND bisexual. He's possessed by a spirit of Justice (who rocks so hard.) He hates the Catholic Church. He lives in a sewer. He's really mean and petty. He was put in solitary for a solid year. He's one of two openly queer (i.e. mentioning it outside player romance) companions (the other being Isabela Dragonage) in his main game. Anders isn't even his birthname, it's a nickname given because he didn't speak for months when he got taken to the Catholic cult prison at 12. He drank long-lasting poison to fight an evil corrupting force because he wanted to not be murdered or have all his emotions lobotomied from him by the Catholic church prison guards (This is almost completely unrelated to the possession.)" - "Anders! He's a medic for those too poor to afford healthcare! He loves cats! He has a cat named Ser Pounce-a-Lot because he's a perfect man. Anders absolutely says ACAB, except in DA2 it's ATAB: All Templars Are Bastards. He's canonically bi! He runs an underground railroad-type deal for mages to escape from abusive institutions! He blew up the in-universe Catholic church for opressing his people (mages)! Some say this makes him a terrorist. I say this makes him a babe ❤️❤️❤️ He is unreasonably mean to Fenris, but imo that's just Bad Writing we can handwave away ok? ok. cool." - "there is a controversy section on his wiki page bc his bisexual ass made the straight male gamers angry by flirting with their characters. ppl in the fandom have also been arguing nonstop for 12 years abt his actions at the end of da2. do u want to go to anders discourse? too bad we're going to anders discourse."

BOTH: - "I really liked Anders in Dragon Age Awakening, I thought he was fun and funny, but he's insufferable in da2 and his fans and apologists are so annoying. He's a terrible person in that game and they have to make stuff up and ignore all the awful stuff he says and does. He's so awful I always kill him at the end of the game because I hate what he became."

[gasolinerainbowpuddles]

What We Did Not Heed║ ⓛⓘⓜⓘⓣⓔⓓ ⓢⓔⓡⓘⓔⓢ

| What We Did Not Heed | part of the Whistle in the Dark collection ║ series masterlist ║ main masterlist ║ | PAIRING(s): Joel Miller x married!fem!OC

| RATING: explicit material | 18+ | WORD COUNT:  12k | CONTENT: moderate discussions of verbal, emotional, and physical abuse,  infidelity (husband cheating on wife), brief mention of sewer slide, Joel is straight up delirious for the coochie meow meow, mild misuse and exploitation of italicized font, husband is heinous as usual, generous heap of angst and feelings, no cucking in this installment so if that’s the only thing you came for imma be a real one and let you know upfront we got some nasty nasty filth but no cucking for this one

| SYNOPSIS: Doubts plague your mind as you try to work up the courage to end your marriage. Joel seeks to ease your apprehension, but he doesn’t know all that’s at play. In the midst of indecision, you both fail to notice what lurks in the waters, and when the tide finally recedes you’ll have no choice but to confront what lies beneath.

Joel had signed up for the patrol trip when he saw your name on the roster. You weren’t expecting him to take the assignment, one that meant  he’d be leaving Ellie with Tommy and Maria for almost an entire week. Joel was still your designated patrol partner, but these irregular expeditions didn’t always align with the usual given pairings for scheduled patrols.

You have a sneaking suspicion that Joel pulled a few strings with Tommy to get paired with you because your partner had been changed to him at the last minute. It made your chest tight when you thought of his inclination to keep you close by.  To be with you. To make sure you were safe.

It also left you with an ample dose of guilt that he was leaving Ellie in capable but still different hands than his own. You wonder if she can tell there’s something burgeoning within him, quickly outmaneuvering his ability to remain stoic and cryptic when trying to conceal something. Or, rather, someone. You. Trying to keep the two of you a secret. 

You wonder how Ellie would feel if she knew about you encroaching on her family, assimilating it into your life as if you had any right to do so. You wouldn’t blame her for rejecting the idea. Who wouldn’t be selfish about keeping Joel to themselves?

Said man shifted his weight on the couch behind you, stirring you from your worries. You angle what you hope is a furtive glance in his direction. You follow the beautiful curve of his distinct nose, the prominent bridge flowing smoothly into the tip. The tip you loved as it nestled into the crevices of your neck and shoulders. The tip that made your breath catch when it nosed past your earlobe. The tip that dragged across your face with every fiery kiss you could steal.

“I’m gonna turn redder’n the devil’s dick if you don’t quit all that starin’,” Joel drawls, obviously amused at your complete failure to be discreet.

You straighten with a jerk at being found out and catch the curve of a smirk on his lips before returning your gaze out the window. You look down on the landscape below as you hear Joel chuckle to himself. The location you’d been assigned to was an unbelievable gem nestled just so along the mountainside. And by gem, you mean it wasn’t entirely dilapidated and smelling of mold. 

The last of the sun’s rays were dancing in the sky, ebbing slowly into impending  nightfall. The calm breeze of the early evening sounded like a lullaby, singing to and soothing all the living things settling down as daylight hours dwindled. Your mind starts to wander again as the conclusion of your shift draws closer.

Almost enough ration slips to cover the basics for two months. That’s what you’d amassed in your numerous extra patrol shifts you’d been snatching up left and right. Anything to get you out of the house as often as possible. You’d covered for just about everybody for any reason under the sun - calling out sick, didn’t want to miss their kid’s birthday, had another trade skill they were contributing to a community project, and so on.  It had earned you quite the influx of pay, and you’d also picked up plenty of goodwill along the way, too.

It wasn’t as hard to hide your extra earnings from Matthew since you’d moved into the office downstairs and reworked it into a makeshift bedroom, but you knew he was at the very least suspicious of just how much extra pay you’d been receiving. When he started keeping less and less food in the house - or at least less accessible to you - you knew it was nothing more than a ploy to get you to show your hand, to show up with more food than you should have ration slips to afford.

When you’d arrived in Jackson, you both just sort of silently acquired whatever was needed for the household and went on about your ever divergent lives. But now? After you and Joel had been together with Matthew to witness? After Joel had utterly humiliated him and let enough of his confidence rub off on you that you joined in? No. Something dark was coalescing in the furthest reaches of his mind, somehow seeming more sinister than his previous tendencies. His shift in demeanor made nerves pool in your gut. 

You also had undergone a metamorphosis of sorts. Actually experiencing and knowing Joel intimately left you ruined for anyone else. If it wasn’t him, you didn’t want it. It was different to anything you’d ever felt for anyone. It was a need. It just had to be. You couldn’t exist elsewise. There wasn’t anything else that made sense. 

But your life was far from logical these days. It had been an elusive amalgamation of loyalties and betrayals and surrenders and resignations, all of which left you feeling empty and alone. Except for Joel. 

You’d come to realize only recently that Matthew had effectively isolated you from those you used to call friends or casual acquaintances. It had happened so slowly that you didn’t realize it until you found yourself without any solid relationships or social circles. It had been purposeful, and you’d fallen for it. You hated how you always fell for it. You hated how Matthew always managed to get the better of you, no matter how many times you thought you’d finally gotten a grasp on how he operated.

A derisive snort behind you drew your attention over your shoulder once more. Joel remained unmoved in his spot, sprawled out lazily across the couch with a book in hand. Whatever he’d just read was obviously not up to his standards.

You sat perched at the window overlooking the clearing between trees, acting as lookout, but you indulgently ogle Joel from the corner of your eye again. He thumbs through the pages of his book thoughtfully. You smile to yourself when he wiggles a bit back and forth and clears his throat. It was a tell of his that you’d noticed whenever  he’d found “a good one.”

“Ah, here we go. Here’s a good one,” he announces. You stifle a giggle.

He props up the copy of 101 Conversation Starters you’d found and given him as a gag gift. The joke was on you when he’d turned your energy right back on you and insisted on subjecting you to about 37 out of the 101 so far.

“What’s your love language? You got five choices. Words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, physical touch, and gifts,” he lists off.

He peers over the top of the book at you with an expectant look. You hum thoughtfully as you consider your options. 

“Well, I dunno. I’ve never really thought about anything like that,” you admit. 

Joel makes a disapproving noise. “S’no wonder you never gave a thought to it. Fuckin’ piece of shit husband uh’yours certainly never—,” he mumbles.

“Joel, I don’t want to talk about him,” you sigh, already exasperated and keyed up just thinking about going back home when the trip is over in two days. “I just.. I just wanna be with you when I’m away from him, okay? Just, I don’t know, just forget about him. I don’t want to waste my time on him. Our time.”

“Arlight, alright. I’ll back off. Jus’ frustratin’ is all…” Joel grumbles.

“You’re telling me,” you snort. You huff a sigh and look back out the window. A beat or two passes before Joel pipes up again.

“M’sorry, honey. I know you don’t like talkin’ about that asshole. Just had a moment of frustration.”

“It’s alright, Joel. I get it. I’m frustrated, too.” You can’t will yourself to look at him. You fear he’ll have an expression that will wear down what little resolve you have and convince you to upend your entire life just to be with him. It’s what you want, but you’re scared. You’re not ready. You haven’t even worked up the nerve to tell him about the rations you’d been siphoning off as a means to keep yourself afloat once you really did leave Matthew. 

If Joel knew that was a contributing factor to what was holding you back, you know he’d just insist it didn’t matter and that you didn’t need to worry about supporting yourself. But you needed to. You had to have something that made you feel like less of a burden, regardless of whatever comforting thing Joel would say to convince you otherwise.

“Don’t hafta be frustrated…” he trails off. “Can move in with me ‘n Ellie. We can clear out whatever we need to for you. Would be a nice addition to the house. Would be nice to have you around.”

You sigh yet again and hang your head. This wasn’t the first time Joel had mentioned you leaving Matthew and moving in with him and Ellie, and you doubt it will be the last. As time went on, he transitioned from alluding to it into expressing it outright. You suppose he’s grown tired of skirting around the elephant in the room. You understand, though, because you feel much the same.

“Quality time,” you say after a few moments of pause.

“Hm?” Joel asks in confusion.

You turn to him, having worked up enough nerve to not completely lose yourself in his gaze. 

“I said I think my love language is quality time. Just... I dunno, feeling like somebody cares. That somebody is thinking about me. Thinks I’m worth the effort of trying. Wants to be around me. Sees my presence as a thing worth earning.” 

You shrug and try to ignore the mist clouding your eyes. You avert your gaze again.

Joel makes a noise of deep consideration. “Hm. Woulda thought it was words of affirmation just based on what my personal experience has been with you.” You can hear the cocky grin he’s wearing before you turn around to see and confirm it. He’s got a shit eating grin plastered on his face just like you knew he would. 

“Must say I’m more’n willin’ to deliver on that,” he adds suggestively. You realize he’s trying to lift your mood so you don’t feel so self-conscious about getting emotional –  and over something that shouldn’t feel so confusing and overwhelming.

“You’re so fucking stupid,” you sniff out in a giggle. You rub the heel of your palm against your eyes to clear away the wet starting to gather there.

Joel doesn’t press you about the display of emotion. You know he tries to resist, especially  when he can tell you’re still processing something. He’s somehow become even more attuned to the nuances of your moods and feelings. It makes you want to rip your hair out. Why does he have to be so satisfying and in sync and attentive? You almost wish he’d just be a grumpy jerk to you like he is to everyone else because maybe that’d make this entire mess of a situation easier in some way.

“And what about you? What’s your love language?” you pose with as steady of a voice as you can.

You glance over your shoulder at him. You both grin at each other. “Physical touch,” you both say in unison. You laugh together like you’re an old married couple, as if you’d earned this sort of domestic comfort with one another through decades of companionship.

“But I think that’s what I like. I think probably acts of service for what goes out. I like takin’ care of what’s mine,” he says slowly, pointedly. He locks eyes with you, and you can’t tear away from the burning ache in them. 

His words harken back to your time together. Joel had left no room for ambiguity when he’d made you come over and over, told you how your pussy was made for him, how perfect it was, and how it was his to wreck. He’d urged for you to vocalize it, and you’d readily obliged. Because in all truth, everything of yours belonged to Joel. There wasn’t a part of you that you wouldn’t give to him if he wanted it. Except the one thing he really wanted – the one thing you really wanted – to leave Matthew.

You allow yourself to be a coward and don’t reply to his enticing words.

The sun had finally set, which meant you and Joel were off your patrol scouting duties until daylight emerged again. You stand with a groan as you stretch your lower back. Your bones make an awful cracking sound when you put your arms behind you and press your palms against the top of your butt.

“Jesus christ,” you groan as you arch further into the stretch.

“Startin’ to sound like me, darlin’,” Joel jokes from somewhere behind you.

You smile and shake your head at his teasing. “Well as it turns out, I don’t mind how you sound, so that’s not much of a drawback to me.” 

Joel hums in an approving tone and watches you stretch out your stiff limbs and back.

You don’t bother to hide the playful flirting in your voice or the inviting sight of your body bending and twisting. You’re too tired for that. It was all too easy to slip into these comfortable exchanges. After you’d given yourself over to Joel for him to pick every part of you away and mold back together as his, you had worried things would be awkward between the two of you. If anything, things had only gotten more relaxed and natural.

Those walls you’d kept up to block Joel out, to protect him from the mess of your life, had been knocked down one after the other so forcefully they would never be erected again. It was only a matter of time before he made it through all of them, but that was as enthralling as it was frightening.

You hadn’t had any other sexual encounters together since then. Neither one of you pushed for it. It wasn’t for lack of desire. There was a feeling that you were on the precipice of something that might be disrupted if you went to having a full on affair with Joel. You don’t know why it is that all the things you do together don’t feel as final as having sex. Why that’s where the line is drawn in your head. It doesn’t make any sense. You both know it. But it was just something you had to keep at arm’s length until it felt clearer.

So instead you’d just eased further into one another’s company and balmy presence. Sharing kisses whenever you could manage to sneak out of sight from others. Holding each other close whenever a patrol shift allowed for it. Embracing one another as though it would be the last time you’d have the opportunity to do so.

“Well you might not mind how I sound, but I’m sure as hell gettin’ tired of my own voice. I think it’s high time you bring out whatever you planned,” he suggests.

Per your agreement, you’d both brought something to help fill the time you’d be lodged in the mountainside cabin together. It was a tedious job, but that’s exactly why Tommy wanted two people who wouldn’t let their guard down to man the station. During the day, it was hour after hour of keeping lookout while absolutely nothing happened - hopefully, ideally. Every once in a while, others in the group would round back and drop off supplies to be organized and packed up for the trip home. Once the sun dipped below the horizon each day, there was no making out much of anything, so you were relegated to just being mindful of your surroundings and happenings.

Joel had brought the book, of course. You were chomping at the bit to reveal the pack of cards you’d found —  all 52! — even if you didn’t actually know if Joel liked playing cards. You like to imagine he would. Fifteen minutes later and you were more than proven correct in your assumption.

“Uh uh, now you’re tryna be slick. We said aces were high,” he argues. The low light from the solar camping lantern illuminates his devilish grin.

“No, you said kings were high and aces were low,” you correct. “So I’ll be taking my winnings now.”

You are holding back laughter at Joel’s incredulous expression, looking as though he was trying to figure out where it had all gone wrong. You go to scoop up Joel’s cards that you’d rightfully bested from him, but he laughs and grabs your wrist.

“Now hold on, you lil’ wiley thing,” he chuckles. “This requires further discussion.”

“There’s nothing to discuss except that you’re a sore loser,” you lob back playfully.

“Not sure how I can be a loser when I got the best thing I’ve ever won sittin’ right here,” he deflects with a flirtatious wink.

A warmth bleeds through his features and your belly. His grip was still on your wrist from across the small end table you’d dragged over to play cards on. The energy shifted into something heavier. Joel rubs his thumb tentatively along the delicate skin of your wrist and forearm.

“Joel.” It sounds cautionary, and you’re not sure if you’re directing it at him or to yourself.

“Leave him,” he says firmly.

Joel hadn’t asked much about Matthew. There was a sort of cocky silence to it where you felt like he knew exactly the kind of impact he’d had and the ruination and humiliation he’d rendered to him. You knew deep down he would’ve gone even further to prove his point if you’d allowed it or asked him, and that alone makes your belly erupt in butterflies. You know Joel would do anything for you. You want to do anything for him. You’re just not sure how that should go, exactly. What the bridge is that connects those two points. So, for now, you remain in your broken marriage to an increasingly hostile man.

You glance up from where Joel’s grasping you. His face is soft and open and pleading. You want to scream.

“I don’t trust him.” The edge to his voice is rougher now, like he’s trying to control himself from letting out the litany of hate and contempt for your husband that’s right on the tip of his tongue.

You arrange your face into something closer to neutral. You couldn’t risk Joel catching onto the worry so deeply settled into your chest over your husband’s recent change in behavior. You still had two days left in the trip, but you were already dreading the return home. It was the most consecutive days of reprieve you’ve had from him yet, and it was the longest stretch of calm you’ve had in a long time. You weren’t sure what would be waiting for you when you got back. Things had been tense, to say the least.

He hadn’t gone into a fit of rage or distress when Joel left the house that day –  even though you felt certain he had never been angrier in his life. No, he’d simply adopted a silent, cold fury, the kind that makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up on end. It was reminiscent of the harbingers you’d get before your father and brother would descend into a violent, heartless fit of rage against you.

The times when they’d gone so blind with wrath you thought many a time they were surely going to kill you, either purposefully or by sheer indifference to your suffering . The violence they could conjure so easily, sitting just beneath the surface, right at the edge, just waiting to be unleashed. Looking for any reason whatsoever to be let loose on you.

Except this felt scarier. Matthew had a cold calculation to him that your father and brother never had the patience for. He’d never struck you, but you were beginning to realize it’s because he never had to. His “control” over his temper was no longer something you lauded. It was bare minimum at best that your partner wouldn’t put their hands on you even if they wanted to. But that wasn’t something you’d really started to understand until recently. Until Joel started making less of an effort to express his desire to be with you. Until you started to experience what it felt like to be regarded as something worth cherishing.

Just by virtue of the evils of your flesh and blood, Matthew was worlds beyond superior and kind in comparison to your family. You always felt that the most he did was give you a verbal lashing, but you were coming to realize that he wasn’t necessarily less cruel but was rather more careful with how and when he leaned into it. He took his time to learn about you. He took the time to listen to your darkest secrets and fears and troubled history. At the time it was a mutual exchange, a connection between the two of you. However, it seemed now more than ever that there was also the dual benefit that he had this knowledge about you and over you.

It was something he could manipulate and use if he needed to or wanted to. And, the longer you were in Jackson, the more it seemed  he very much wanted to. His words would slice down to the bone, picking at every insecurity and fear you had so foolishly handed over to him. That is, until he had gone almost completely silent. He’d say plenty with his malevolent stares, but he hadn’t properly spoken to you since that day Joel made you his. 

You almost wish Matthew would go back to yelling at you or calling you stupid or saying how much of a frigid prude you were. At least that was familiar. This new icy demeanor made you feel a lot like prey being chased by a very competent predator. The idea that someone could contain such visceral hatred and rage until they were ready to unleash it sent a chill up your spine.

You’d begun to get an awful feeling that Matthew was doing nothing more than biding his time and plotting your sorrow. The only thing that kept you from feeling completely helpless was the fact that you held onto his dark secret: he’d groomed and sexually pursued your underage neighbor Natalie. You’d caught them in the act, seemingly a discovery he’d purposefully crafted for you. You’d promised not to tell her father John about it.

“I don’t trust him,” Joel repeats with a vehement growl.

“Yeah, well, he’s not exactly a trustworthy guy, is he?” you laugh humorlessly. “Hard to ignore once he starting fucking over half the town’s population of women.”

You feel Joel’s hold on you tighten ever so slightly. The small movement speaks volumes: you know what I meant when I said that. And you do. It’s not just the infidelity that makes Matthew untrustworthy. There’s that sinister undercurrent to him that had been developing and growing ever since the two of you had arrived in Jackson. It had become all the more intense ever since you had humiliated him with Joel.

But you couldn’t tell Joel that. Not when he was already so worked up over you needing to leave Matthew and move out. If he was already this keyed up over it, you can only imagine how he’d be if he knew the foreboding types of feelings you’d been getting from the man you shared a home with.

“Between me and John, you wouldn’t have’ta  worry about dealin’ with him,” he asserts with a menacing sort of calm that sends shivers up your spine.

Natatlie’s father was a pretty nice guy as far as you could tell. You truthfully didn’t know him all that well, but you weren’t sure how long the pleasantries would be extended to Matthew  if John knew what he’d done to his daughter. John was even bigger than Joel - “built like a brick shithouse” is how Joel had described him before - and the thought of being on the wrong side of either one of them, let alone both, made a cold chill creep into your bones. Matthew was smart enough to realize the most likely outcome should he force your hand and push you into spilling his darkest secret. 

It seemed like enough of a safety net to keep you out of harm’s way from him. At least for now, until you figured things out. Until you found the nerve to leave him and be with Joel like you wanted to. Until you didn’t fear that you’d leave your broken marriage behind, start something with Joel, only for him to realize you’re not worth it. That you’re not someone who was a valuable partner at the end of the day.

“Tell me what you’re thinkin’,” he quietly prods.

You’re startled out of your inner whirlwind. Joel’s eyebrows are pinched over his probing stare. 

Despite being outside the barricades and guard towers of the settlement, you felt safer here with Joel than you did back in Jackson. It felt selfish to let yourself soak up the feelings of care and safety he gave you when you had nothing to give him in return. It was yet another reason you hadn’t ended your marriage. How could you just take everything Joel’s given you and then turn around and send his entire world into turmoil? He and Ellie didn’t need the town gossip following them everywhere they went like it did you. It felt embarrassing and isolating to go out in public and hear murmuring following your every step. You couldn’t do that to them. They were happy in Jackson, and who were you to ruin that?

“Tell me,” he insists.

You try to make something up, but instead it’s the truth that comes spilling out of you.

“I would ruin everything.”

Joel starts to shake his head.

“I’m not good enough for you,” you mumble.

“That’s so far from the fuckin’ truth that I–”

“You’re not gonna want me anymore once you actually have me,” you whisper in a choke.

Before you can register the rapid transit of your body, Joel snatches you up into a deep, blistering kiss. The card table rocks to the side, falling over with the force of Joel’s movements. You’re already falling apart for him when he guides you both onto the couch. 

“I wanna have you again and again and as many times as you’ll let me. Want you forever,” he grunts into your neck as he settles over top of you. He plants impatient, wet kisses on either side of your neck as though he can’t contain himself to just one small part of you.

Forever. Joel said he wants you forever.

“You don’t know what you’re saying,” you get out in a tremble.

“Fuck if I don’t,” he huffs. “ Know just what I want, and what I want is you.”  You can feel him hardening against your thigh.

“You-You don’t owe me– oh my god– you don’t owe me a-anything,” you moan as he rolls his hips just for the feel of you dragging against him.

“You’re talkin’ a whole lotta nonsense. M’gonna fuck it outta you, sweetheart,” he promises with a gravelly drawl.

You whimper at the steadfast assurance he offers up, knowing just how intent he is on staying true to his word.

“Yeah, you’d like that. You’d like for me to fuck your tight little hole ‘til the only thought you got left is how good you stretch around me.” His hand snakes up the front of your shirt until the pad of his thumb finds the hard, sensitive nub of your breast. He fiddles with it gently, working you up with agonizing restraint.

“S’all I want,” you quietly cry out.

“Then I guess you’re gonna get everythin’ you ever wanted, darlin’,” he laughs under his breath in a playful, deep voice that makes your spine feel like a river of fire has cascaded through it and pooled into your lower belly. So much for not crossing the line of sex.

“Joel?” You will your voice to not shake when you start to ask for something you wanted last time but were too nervous to commit to with Matthew being there. “Can I… Can I get on top? Of you?”

You squirm nervously. It’s been so long since you’ve expressed your desires to someone this freely and openly, if ever.  You fear Joel will see just how out of practice you are, how far behind in life experience you are than him — how little you have to offer him in exchange. It’s been so long since you’ve felt a desire for someone, and you’ve never felt it like this before. It’s nerve wracking and immersive in its force, the strength of it being the sole thing able to compel you to voice your desires in the first place.

“Goddamn, you gonna ride me, baby? Gonna let me watch those perfect tits again, bouncin’ jus’ for me?” his teasing comes out in a low, excited tone.

You chew at your bottom lip and nod.

“Then lemme get you ready, sweetheart,” he growls. He moves for the closure of your jeans, but you stop him.

“I don’t need you to get me ready, Joel,” you assure him. Misunderstanding your meaning, Joel insists that he wants to. You shake your head and giggle under your breath at yourself. “No, I mean… here, just see for yourself.”

You pop the button on your waistband quickly and guide Joel’s fingers beneath the layers of fabric where his calloused fingers meet the generous amount of slick already accumulated and practically dripping from your folds.

“Fuck,” he hisses. His brow furrows with a sort of incredulous rush that you’re already so excited for him. He runs his digits back and forth in the thick, slippery evidence of your arousal as your hips jerks instinctively.

“Goddamn, my fingers are fuckin’ swimmin’ in all’uh that. Fuck. So fuckin’ wet already.” He groans when you let out a needy moan at the constricted but rousing movements of his hand buried in your panties.

You lock eyes and pause for a split second before you’re both wrenching clothing off. You’re both bare for one another to gaze upon in a matter of a few passing moments. You never break from the other’s gaze as you collide in a fitful embrace back onto the couch. You’re overcome at the belated reunion of your bodies that you can’t quite understand how or why you’d deprived yourself of it for all these weeks gone by.

Whether or not you and Joel were physically intimate had no bearing on who held your heart. It was Joel the entire time, and it was going to be Joel regardless of who bore the title of bedfellow. You’d robbed yourself of this beautiful thing, this beautiful person, for no real reason. Perhaps some ill-conceived conviction that you’d be no better than Matthew to take a lover while you were still wedded to someone else. But this was not the same. This was not some perversion of satisfaction, some mindless pleasure. This was a raw, imperfect convergence that was something akin to the divine heavens above, a rhapsody of two wandering things that had found sanctuary in each other.

Any reason you’d ever had for holding back was now gone.

You scramble onto Joel’s lap and grab at his face, pulling him forcefully into another kiss. Your tongues and groans mix and meld between your mouths as you hastily devour each other. You pull back with a breathless gasp and revel at the remnants of your passion. Puffy, red lips. Flushed cheeks. The slight sheen of exertion from the overwrought fusion of your kisses and embrace.

“You gotta get on this thing before I can’t wait no more,” Joel rasps in a husky, impatient tone.

You wordlessly nod, savoring the fact that he wants you just as much as you want him, and line yourself up to his already hardened length.

You both groan as you sink down inch by inch. The burn of your walls as they extend to accommodate his  girth stings and prickles with pleasure.

“Oh fuck–yeah– look at that. Takin’ all’uh me. Fuckin’ hungry cunt just takin’ as much as she can get, yeah?” Joel already sounds completely gone, but you’re sure you look just as wrecked as he sounds. Your thighs grip against his as you slowly grind into him, teasing out the acclimation of your core to his thick cock.

“Goddamn, you’re so fuckin’ tight,” he grits out. His hands grab at your hips, smoothing out the rocking motion of you working him in and out of your drenched hole. The lazy squelch of your arousal sounding with each quickening circuit of your rolling hips. 

“Fuck– ain’t had you in so long,” he grunts.

The rush of blood to your core makes you all the more sensitive to the drag and pull of his cock. The edge of his tip leaves no part of you untouched when you rise off him, only to plummet yourself down again all the way to the base. The coarse bristles of his pubic hair are a delightful abrasion against your swollen clit. Everything is a synchronous turn of hurt and soothe. You feel like you’re being broken and rebuilt all at once. Your legs begin to shake when that familiar tension in your belly draws taut. You rut yourself onto him quicker, chasing your impending release.

“You look fuckin’ amazin’. These fuckin’ tits, jesus christ,” he groans as he lifts one hand away from your hip to fondle them and roll your stiff nipples between two fingers. You’re gone the moment his mouth latches onto one of them and starts suctioning the sensitive peaks between his teeth. Your rolling grind falters, only for Joel to keep his mouth connected to you while his hands clutch your hips and continue the swiveling motion you had. He helps you ride out your high until your legs give way in a quivering collapse. You slump against him like a limp ragdoll, drawing gulps of air as you try to catch your breath.

Your body is almost completely slack as Joel repositions himself over top of you on your back. He never fully pulls himself out of you, refusing to lose the joining of your bodies for even one fleeting moment. You’re still descending from your bliss when he starts to slowly thrust his hips. You whimper at the almost overstimulation, but it quickly bleeds into something deep and sensuous yet again.

Your eyes finally focus as the last pulse of your climax fades away. You find Joel watching you intently with an enamored gaze. The heft of him moving so slowly in and out of you was almost more consuming than something feverish and frantic. Joel took his time sliding every inch of himself back and forth against your walls, a wide open hand gripping the entire back of your neck in a possessive cradle.

“So fuckin’ perfect. Can’t believe you’re mine. Get to have all this to myself– God fuckin’ damn.”

You don’t hold back the pitiful whimper when Joel calls you his.

“You like that, don’t’cha? When I call you mine?” His voice shakes from the effort of suppressing the desire to drive himself into you with furious strokes.

You can only whimper more and give an effusive, affirmative shake of your head.

“Wasn’t just sayin’ it for show, our first time,” he huffs in between measured, steady thrusts. “Meant it then–hhmmmphh—Mean it now. You’re mine — shit — Don’t care who put a ring on your finger. You’re mine.”

Before you can worry yourself with whether or not it would disrupt the mood, you lace your fingers behind Joel’s neck and pull him into a soft kiss. His hips slow as he indulges in the tender exchange.

“I don’t know why you want me to be yours, but I’m so, so happy you do,” you confess in a small voice against his lips.

“I do,” he asserts. “I really fuckin’ do, sweetheart.”

He builds up speed again and presses one of  your legs into a bend against your chest. “Say you��re gonna be mine. For everybody to know it. For us to be together. Say it,” he implores. His eyes are locked onto yours, waiting and willing for you to speak the words he’s been longing for you to say.

“S’just you and me, Joel. Just us. Together,” you reaffirm.

He smiles knowingly at your words, an echo of what he’d told you that day. He grants an approving nod before pivoting himself to thrust deeper. He brushes against the spot inside you that made your mind nothing but a vacant chasm of pleasure the last time he nudged up against it. He can clearly feel the way your body responds to it.

“Oh, yeah? Right there, huh?” he rasps, a devilish smirk washing over his features. He tilts his hips back into place before resuming his drives into you, knocking into that spot.

“Oh, that’s it, honey. Right there, yeah? Oh fuck. Yeah,” he rambles in a feverish groan, consumed with how you feel pliant and responsive to his motions.

The pleasure is overwhelming. Tears begin to slip from the corners of your eyes at the almost numbing ecstasy Joel has you wrapped up in.

“Joel,” you whine with a weak sniffle. “Oh my god, please, Joel.” 

You sound hoarse with desperation. A plea for him to understand what he’s doing to you — what he does to you.

“Yeah thassit, honey. Cryin’ cuz this cock’s got you feelin’ so good. Only way I’ll ever make you cry, baby. Make you cry every day from how good it feels takin’ my cock.”

Joel’s tongue is hot and wet as he runs the flat of it against the curve of your cheeks, lapping up errant tears hungrily. “Fuckin’ cryin’ cuz of this cock, huh? Feels that good, baby? Feels so good you gotta cry it all out?”

“F-FUCK– YES, PLEASE. PLEASE,” you sob without a single cognizant notion as to what you’re begging for him to give you. All you can think is everything. You want him to give you everything, and to take everything in return.

“Hhnngg-ff-ffuckin’– goddammit, fuckin’ tell me, baby,” he pants. 

“You’re stretching m-me so much. Can feel you– oh god– can feel you in me everywhere.  PLEASE, JOEL. I just– oh my god— Cock f-feels so good it’s–UHNGGhh-that it’s–” you wail out deliriously, thrashing and contorting at the rush of your fast approaching climax. The pitch of your voice ascends multiple octaves “–MAKES ME CRY!”

Joel responds, but it’s an incoherent rattle of grunts and panting. His pace picks up to something devastating and unmistakably possessive. Each punishing drive slams the weight of his bulbous head against the entrance of your womb. You sob and writhe with each mind numbing kiss of him into your cervix.

“IN ME,” you beg.

“AAgghhhmmm—m’gonna drench this cunt,” he snarls with rapid snaps of his hips, the sound of your skin slapping and sticking together with sweat and arousal filling the room.

You feel your walls choke him just as the kick of his cock hits deep inside you, his come spurting and flooding the expanse of your ravaged pussy. Your muscles spasm and clench with such force that you’re certain the entirety of him will be imprinted on your walls in perpetuity. You swing your arms around his neck in a frantic motion to withstand the bliss that’s so crippling it’s peppering your vision with white spots.

You fall into one another and spend the next several minutes catching your breath. When he eventually pulls himself from you, you can feel his spend seeping out of you. You bite back a smile at the sensation. Joel chuckles, catching onto your unspoken thoughts.

“You know what I love?” he murmurs against your neck.

“Hhmmm?” you lazily hum.

“You got a little filthy side to ya, and I bring it outta ya.”

Your shy giggle doesn’t deter him from carrying on.

“Feels good, though, don’t it?”

You consider the truth to his words. Joel definitely brought something out in you, something more instinctual and jagged around the edges. Something that gave into the inkier, dubious parts you didn’t always like to admit lived somewhere inside you. 

You never thought watching your husband openly weep with remorse would’ve brought you a grim satisfaction, especially at such a blatant display of anguish. You’ve admitted to yourself and have slowly started to reconcile with the fact that your tummy did flips when Joel manhandled him, restrained and helpless. How you relished in Joel’s cruel, questionable act of shoving a cum stained sock into Matthew’s mouth while he could do nothing but gag at the taste of another man’s come spreading into his mouth and dripping into his throat. How you liked the way Joel’s almost primitive disposition and actions left no room for doubt of the outright domination and humiliation that had been dealt out to Matthew.

“I know it shouldn’t, but it does,” you whisper with an edge of guilt.

Joel eyes you curiously for a moment before nodding. “Lemme let’cha in on a little secret, darlin’. Sometimes there’s people who’ve lost just about any humanity they had to begin with, and when those people get their comeuppance, it’s okay to feel happy or even indifferent to it. No shame in admittin’ it. No shame in feelin’ it.”

“You mean I shouldn’t be bothered by how much I liked seeing Matthew cry?” you deadpan.

Joel snorts and lifts an eyebrow at the unexpected retort. “Actually, yeah.”

You try to hold back a grin as you squeeze your eyes shut and shake your head. Joel’s energy has shifted into something more urgent and enthused.

“You liked making that piece of shit cry, huh?” he needles with a smirk.

Your eyes snap open and meet his. The devious sparkle in them doesn’t do much to keep you hanging onto any guilt that still lingers. You slowly nod and offer up a sheepish grin.

“Hm, s’that so?” he chuckles, wrapping his arms around you and scooping you up closer to him. “You want me to make’im cry again?”

Your heart skips a beat at the malicious suggestion. You let out a small breath and find yourself nodding before you can comprehend it. Joel’s entire face contorts into a depraved grin at your admission.

“Well, gotta take care of what’s mine. If that’s what you want, I’m gonna make sure that’s what you get,” he promises in a dangerous tone.

You huddle into his broad chest and drag your fingertips across it, sitting quietly with your thoughts. The steady rise and fall of his breathing begins to lull you. The air feels weighty with the resolution that you are going to start the process of leaving Matthew.

“You sure you’re ready for all of this?” you ask. You keep your eyes focused anywhere but Joel’s face as you await an answer.

Joel tips your chin up with two gentle fingers. “Yes. ‘N we can figure it out together. You don’t gotta have all the answers.”

“But what about… people are gonna say stuff–”

“Don’t matter,” he interjects.

“—which I’m used to, I guess, but what about you? What if somebody says something to Ellie?” you continue on.

“You let me worry about what people’ll say. And if anybody is stupid enough to bother Ellie, I’ll personally see to it that they understand it won’t be tolerated.”

You swallow hard at the implication.

“Okay. I just— you’re sure?” You hate to keep repeating yourself, but the doubts weigh heavily on your mind. Better to get it out now before it swallows you whole the second you’re away from Joel.

“Never been more sure of somethin’ in my life,” he answers firmly.

“Okay.” You nod quietly and press a chaste kiss on his lips. You exhale a deep breath and let your mind clear a bit.

“You up to lose another game of cards?” His smug grin should be obnoxious, but it’s mostly endearing.

“Joel Miller, you did NOT win!” you huff in disbelief.

He tuts and smiles wider. “Not how I’m rememberin’ things.”

“Okay, now I’m just wondering if all of that was just some elaborate ruse to end the game early and claim the winner was ‘up for debate’ for the rest of eternity,” you laugh.

He pulls you closer and joins in your laughter. You spend the next hour cuddled close and letting the conversation wander.

Joel’s lips were warm and soft in between the scratchy sweeps of his beard. The trail of kisses he was leaving up the column of your neck had your mind going completely blank. “Come see me tonight,” he murmurs against your skin as he noses your ear and hair.

He pulls back slightly to look at you. “Come see me tonight ‘n let’s figure this out together.”

You suck your bottom lip between your teeth and nod.

“That’s my girl,” Joel breathes with a huge grin spreading across his face.

You bite down on your lip to curb the giddy smile of your own. “Okay. I’ll come by after dinner, okay? But I can’t stay too long.”

“Say it,” he urges. You don’t have to ask what he wants you to say.

“I’m your girl,” you whisper shyly. 

“Damn right.” Joel’s chest is almost comically puffed out. He’s proud of you. He’s proud to call you his. You can’t imagine why, but it makes you jubilant nonetheless.

It’s just the two of you lingering in the stables. You’d returned to Jackson without a hitch, and despite everything going on it did feel good to provide and contribute to your community and fellow residents. It was one of the few things that made you feel like maybe you weren’t completely pointless to keep around.

Joel dips you into a slow kiss, his mouth capturing yours with a tenderness that promises he will consume you, hobble all the pieces together if he has to, press you back together for as long as you need it. You make an almost plaintive whine at the way he sweeps you up so easily, taking you on and taking you apart all at once.

“You gonna be nice ‘n gimme more’uh this tonight?” he teases with a nip to your earlobe.

You choke halfway on your sentence the first time you try to get it out. Joel just chuckles against your ear, and you let out another one of those stupid, pitiful whines you wish you could get under control so you didn’t sound like such a mess around hum.

“I’m-I’m–I thought– oh my god—,” you can’t seem to get a single coherent string of words out when Joel is on you like this. 

“Hm, you like that, huh?” Joel was smug, but it was well-earned.

His teeth nipped and dragged while his tongue and lips suckled and soothed. You wonder for a split second how embarrassing it would be to orgasm just from him on your neck, jaw, and ears like this. If the pleasure from it would be worth the embarrassment.

“M’gonna hafta remember that,” he breathes against the shell of your ear.

All you can do is stare blankly and nod. His smile softens as he pulls back far enough to take all of you in.

“My gorgeous girl. Thank you for trusting me with this,” he almost whispers. 

You offer a small smile back. Joel acknowledging how hard this was for you was one of the million reasons why you knew this was the first time you’d ever truly been in love. It wasn’t like that “other half” sort of thing you’d heard about so many times or read about in moth-eaten romance novels you’d found littered all over the floor of an abandoned bookshop.

Joel felt like a piece of you. It felt like you were a machine who sputtered along, thinking this was how you were supposed to run, until that pivotal piece was locked into place and you sprung to life. Joel unlocked that part of you. He never took away from anything that was you. He only ever amplified and unearthed what was there, and somehow you were lucky enough that he was waiting on the other side to embrace it with open arms.

“I trust you with my whole life, Joel.” You aren’t sure why it sounds like a trembling confession. Too overwrought with emotion for the man in front of you probably. Too awash in his soothing, safe presence. Swallowed up by the affection you feel from him and for him.

“And I won’t take that for granted, honey. Ever,” he swears. He gives you a small kiss and pats your backside playfully.

“Better get a move on. Ellie is gonna be wondering where you are,” you point out.

“You sure you don’t mind me headin’ home to see after her?” he asks you.

“I want you to go see her. Seriously. I’ve had you practically to myself for almost a week now,” you exhale through your nose.

“I know. I just wanna make sure. Wanna make sure both my girls are taken care of, is all,” he says offhandedly. 

His words feel like a vice around your neck. You get choked up immediately. Your eyes are hot and starting to burn with tears. Something about Joel lumping you and Ellie together - his girls - made this feel even more real than before. Felt validating on an entirely different level. Joel seems to notice the change in your expression and understand the reason. His eyes flit across your face lazily, soaking up the immensity of your heartfelt display.

“My girls,” he breathes with pure joy spreading across his features. “The house’ll finally feel complete.”

You bury your head into Joel’s middle and let out a few trembling tears. This is real. This is happening. You and Joel are going to figure out a way for you to leave Matthew and to come be with him and Ellie. Joel is going to make sure you’re safe. Joel is going to take care of you. Joel is going to bring you into his family. You’re going to have a family. You’re going to have something you never thought you’d have.

Joel soothes you for a moment until you gather yourself enough to  part ways. You are on cloud nine thinking about your future. You don’t know that you’ve ever felt this optimistic before. It felt dangerous to hope, but you couldn’t stop yourself.

You’re so wrapped up in it all that at first you don’t notice the uptick of whispers and murmurs at your arrival. By the time you make it through the line, though, you are very aware that something is going on and it seems to involve you somehow. You’ve been gone for the better part of a week, and you can’t imagine what could possibly have happened that would warrant all the almost subtle attention on you.

Maybe it just felt concentrated because you’d spent the better part of a week with pretty much one other person. The canteen was an enclosed space with a good number of other diners milling about, so maybe it was just a trick of the environment. Still, it really did seem like nearly all pairs of eyes were on you or drifted your direction in furtive passes.

That gnawing, grim twist was pinching at your gut again. Had something happened since you’d left? It hadn’t been very long. Matthew was more than capable of fucking things up spectacularly, but even he could only do so much damage in less than a week, right? You try to ignore the whispers as you settle into a seat at an empty table.

You make it through a few bites before you’re interrupted.

“Hey, I see you’ve all made it back safely.” Angelica. The town gossip. Great. Her voice was tight and contrived.

You look up and give a nod of acknowledgment. “Yep. Safe trip there and back. No issues. Thank goodness for that,” you fake laugh in fake conversation with the fake person in front of you.

Angelica slid smoothly and quickly  into the seat across from you. GREAT.

“You seem to be doing well,” she notes pointedly with a soft, curious edge in her tone.

Your insides are pinpricks of heat and sick at her remark. A few of the patrons close to you had noticeably quieted their conversations and stilled the clanking and clinking of their silverware and drinking glasses. They were primed to hear this conversation. They were privy to whatever it was that Angelica was here to discuss with you.

You lift your shoulder to one side and marginally tilt your head in response to her comment. Why wouldn’t I be doing well? 

Angelica had a sickly sweet, sympathetic smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. There was a glint of something hungry and itching with anticipation in them instead. She’d understood your gesture loud and clear, and her entire mood had shifted in that instant to a gluttonous schadenfreude. You can see she’s barely containing her mirth at the discovery that you’re apparently out of the loop. 

Her eyes are dancing and wild with excitement. They’re practically singing with the message they’re broadcasting to you: she gets to be the one to tell you. When she no doubt recounts this story to any and everyone in the coming days, she’ll revel in the fact that she is the primary source of this salacious piece of chatter. How you didn’t even KNOW, can you believe that? Tut tut, tsk tsk. Poor thing. Oh that poor, poor thing. She had no clue!

Angelica leans in dramatically and fixes her face with a concerned look. She adds a hand over yours to really sell the charitable offering of pity and encouragement. “Oh my word, I’m getting scared you don’t know, hon,” she gasps loudly. 

You can’t believe she has the word ANGEL right at the front of her name. A complete lack of subtlety from the universe. This devil with an angel in her name is practically salivating at your impending devastation.

“Not sure what you’re talking about, Angelica,” you grit out. You may as well find out whatever it is from her. She’ll no doubt have every bit of information and theory that’s out there.

“Oh my god, I’m SO sorry,” she whispers theatrically, squeezing your hand. “I can’t believe I have to be the one to break this to you. Oh my god.”

She places the back of her free hand against her forehead as though she’s overwhelmed with the task of giving you the bad news. As if she’s not soaking up every drop of your misery. You try to brace yourself for whatever it is she’s about to say. You really don’t want to give her the reaction she’s looking for.

“I cannot imagine how this must feel for you right now,” she breathes. 

Is that a fucking tear at the corner of her eye? you think to yourself. Jesus christ, this woman is unhinged.

“If there’s something you want to tell me, Angelica, go on,” you push.

She looks briefly annoyed that she can’t draw out her performance for longer, but she at least seems pleased with the fact that she hasn’t made it to the juicy part yet.

“Let me just first say that I don’t believe anything of what he’s saying about you, hon.” She shakes her head back and forth in quick zips. “I know he’s been making you the town joke for so long now. Cheating on you left and right. Ugh, terrible, terrible stuff.”

She didn’t put much effort into making that last part sound like she remotely felt that way about it.

“I assume you’re talking about Matthew,” you say through clenched teeth. You are doing your best to remain measured and calm.

She nods with a furrowed brow and pouted lips. “Yes, that husband of yours. Well, I guess I should say ex-husband.”

Your head cocks to the side in a snap. You don’t trust yourself to say anything. You lift a brow, hoping it will be enough to get Angelica to continue.

“Ugh, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I forget this is all new information to you. Goodness. Still can’t believe that! Whew. Let me start from the beginning. I’m getting ahead of myself.” She sits back slightly but still grips your hand that is now balled into a fist.

“Some days ago now, Marjorie from the outfitters - you know Marjorie, don’t you? - well, she comes to me saying all sorts of crazy things. Apparently Matthew is friendly with her husband and opened up to him about what’s been going on behind closed doors and all that. Derek said he was a complete mess. Crying and everything!”

Angelica pauses a beat to lazily scan to her side as if in thought, no doubt checking in with her audience. You refuse to look. She is apparently satisfied  with their reactions thus far as she hides a grin quickly before turning to you again.

“So then of course Derek’s telling Marjorie everything he said because that’s just what married couples do, you know?” Even Angelica has the grace to look embarrassed at her choice of wording. You want to believe it was an unintentional dig. 

“I mean, well, anyway. He told her everything. Said Matthew was saying all sorts of things about how you’ve been verbally abusing him, sometimes hitting him if you get angry enough! Like I said, I don’t believe a WORD–” she rushes to add when she notices you get upset “– and then saying that you’ve been keeping him trapped in a deadend marriage. He tried doing the right thing, working things out with you, but you were so cold and distant.”

She shrugs conspiratorially as though she’s firmly on your side.

“Derek even repeated some of the nastier bits to Marjorie after she insisted he tell her. That ex of yours had the nerve to call  you a frigid bitch. He even said he didn’t want to say so but that he finally realize you were quite abusive! I couldn’t believe it. Marjorie wasn’t even sure of it herself, you know? But Derek was saying that’s why he started seeing other women. Said Matthew was very ashamed of his behavior but felt pushed to it. Felt so alone. Even thought about—” she pauses for dramatic effect “—taking his own life, he was so upset.”

“WHAT?” you breathe.

“Well, I mean, there’s of course the loneliness, but I guess he was telling Derek that it got really hard when you refused to try for kids.”

Your head was spinning. Your mind could barely keep up with what was unfolding.

Angelica nods and shrugs as though some of it made sense to her. “If it’s true, you know, what he told Derek, then I sort of get it. Sorry, but it’s true. If you promise somebody you’ll try for kids but then go back on that, that just seems like a really big thing.”

Your breathing picks up into something erratic and insufficient.

“I mean, you gotta admit that’s sort of pulling the wool over somebody’s eyes. You can see how he felt like you weren’t the same woman he came to Jackson with?” Angelica lazily reasons with you.

“I never— he said he didn’t want kids,” you hiss.

Angelica’s eyebrow lifts right along with the corner of her mouth. “Oh? Hm. That’s interesting. He told Derek that he felt like he didn’t even know you anymore. Different person from who he’d fallen in love with. Like a dark side of you had come out or something.”

She shakes her head again and sighs loudly. “I guess that’s when he said he got lonely and depressed enough to cheat on you. He admitted it was low of him to do that, but he said he’d been lonely for so long that once he started seeing other women he just couldn’t stop. Couldn’t go back to being so alone and sad. Couldn’t let you keep isolating him and breaking him down.”

She pauses for a moment in thought, taking your disclosure about kids into consideration. Your vision has gone a bit blurry.

“So, wait a minute. If you’re the one who wanted kids, then … oh no, honey,” she sighs. She shakes her head with exaggerated sympathy. “I can’t imagine how this must feel for you, seeing him go off and start a family with somebody else.”

You feel a wave of nausea. Your hands shake. Your heartbeat is thundering in your ears.

“W-What?” you choke.

Angelica does look genuinely compassionate for a moment as she leans across the table. “He’s making an honest woman out of Rachel. Rachel Harmon, from the vet?”

You shake your head in disbelief. Bile licks at your throat.

“Just told Derek he was in love with her and thinks this baby is what needed to happen to finally give him the courage to … to leave you,” she finishes with slight discomfort. You’re too disorientated to discern if it’s authentic or put on.

You feel like someone has poured liquid nitrogen down your spinal cord. Your legs give when you try to stand up, but you find your footing on the second attempt. Angelica stands halfway with her arms extended as though she could steady you with an entire table separating you. She quickly skirts around to your side as you turn to walk on wobbly legs. She only stops following you out of the canteen when you grab at your stomach as though you’re about to be sick.

You’re grateful to be alone and out of sight in between buildings when you do finally empty the contents of your stomach onto the ground and your shoes. You bend over and clutch your knees for support as you heave repeatedly.

Your stomach stops lurching at some point, but your muscles feel strained from the exertion of vomiting. You stumble further down the alley, further from people bustling nearby. Your mind is telling you to hide hide hide. You don’t know from what.

You stumble and fall, the hard ground scraping against your palms where you’d tried to catch yourself. You barely register the angry abrasions now threatening to seep blood. Your stomach starts to roll again, and you freeze in place hoping it will pass. As you ward off the sick feeling, your mind screams with the influx of information from Angelica.

He’d planned this. All along he’d planned for everything to unfold this way. He wanted this to hurt. He wanted this to cause maximum damage. How long had he known he’d gotten someone pregnant? You had no way of knowing. All your efforts to put more space between the two of you - physical and emotional alike - had only served to help Matthew hide things more easily from you, all the while you’d thought you were helping yourself conceal your patrol earnings. He must’ve been thrilled you provided him with such a perfect avenue to blindside you.

You slowly realize the other reason for him doing things this way. He’s gotten several steps ahead of you, and now he controls the narrative. There’s no way even if you did end up telling anyone about his indiscretions with underage girls that they’d believe you. They’d just think you were a woman scorned, trying to ruin Matthew’s life and get revenge all because he’d “finally stuck up for himself.”

The back door of the canteen opens, and Angelica approaches slowly.

“I saw you run down here and throw up,” she says with an edge of distaste. “You’re done now, right?”

You stare at the ground, unsure of the answer and not wanting to tell her regardless. She shuffles closer, taking your silence as a yes.

“What is everyone saying?” you ask in a hoarse whisper.

“I’m not sure now is the best time….” she trails.

You snap your head up at her with a glare.

“Well I don’t want you puking everywhere again if I tell you!”

Your eyes flutter shut. There’s a pinching feeling behind them now. “Just tell me. Please.”

Angelica sighs loudly and takes a small step backwards. “Alright. You’re not gonna like it, though.”

You almost want to laugh.

“I guess most people think it’s not such a bad thing for him to separate from somebody who’s treating him like that. Even if you’re smaller, putting your hands on somebody isn’t really okay. If the rumors are true, I mean. There’s no point in dragging out a marriage that’s dead anyway. And if there’s a baby involved now, it just kinda seems like the right thing to do.”

You sink onto the ground. Your muscles feel weak and spongy.

“Um, are you— okay, um, anyway. So. Uh, yeah, like I was saying—” she takes another step back as though you might erupt all over her “—it’s not right for somebody to punish their spouse just because the marriage doesn’t work anymore. So, I guess most people think it will probably be a good thing for everyone involved.”

Matthew has now publicly humiliated you on an entirely new level: leaving you without a heads up, not telling you he’d gotten someone pregnant, and waiting until you came back exhausted from a stressful patrol trip, emotions and mind already on edge, knowing that he didn’t even respect you enough to tell you any of this himself. Having to hear it from someone else was just an additional layer to the shame he was drowning you in. Now everyone knew you were unwanted. Now everyone “knew” that you were an awful person, trapping Matthew in a deadend marriage and getting physically violent if you were confronted. How he cheated only because he was so incredibly lonely.

He was punishing you from all sides. Now you would have to be out in the world and try to find someone to give a shit about you. It was clear he didn’t think Joel actually did. And, after this, you began to question it yourself. Who in their right mind would invite this sort of drama into their lives? Especially not someone as stoic and private as Joel. Not for you. You weren’t worth that. He might have feelings for you, but they couldn’t possibly run deep enough for him to go through this with you. And you didn’t blame him. You know you aren’t worth it. And he had Ellie to think about. It wouldn’t be fair for her, a child, to have to court this drama should Joel decide to stand by your side.

Everything is a blur as you walk home. Angelica had just kept talking because there seemed to be an endless amount of commotion around the situation. You waved her off, and she thankfully gave up when she realized you were no longer interested in talking. 

The entire town had spent days mulling over all the information as news spread from person to person. Matthew helped out at the vet frequently, and he was on good terms with plenty of people because of it. Favorite horses being saved from the grips of death. Livestock being well-managed and producing plenty of meat for the community. Pets and strays alike cared for. He had limited knowledge when he first arrived, but he picked up on the skillset quickly and became an asset in no time.

You were just another person who did patrols. You didn’t have a title. You were just a cog in the wheel, forgotten all too easily.

You see the boxes stacked on your porch when you turn onto your street. You stagger to the note that’s taped to the side, plastered clearly for anyone passing by to read.

𝐈’𝐦 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐚𝐲. 𝐈 𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧’𝐭 𝐚𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐞. 𝐈 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧’𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐢𝐜𝐞. 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝 𝐈’𝐦 𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐑𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐥 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞. 𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐈 𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐨 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲.

𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐭𝐫𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐱𝐞𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐥𝐥 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐮𝐩 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭. 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐥 𝐚𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞.

𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐞. 𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐨 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭’𝐬 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭.

𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬, 𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐰

The note trembles in your hand as droplets of tears begin to stain the paper. It was a seemingly innocuous and contrite message. A kind, sympathetic note for all intents and appearances. A note from a man whose wife had been horrible to him and taken away precious things out of spite. 

The note’s true message to you was obvious: You never should’ve invited Joel into our home. You never should’ve taken me to task for how I treated you. You will suffer for your choices. You won’t make it on your own. I’ve been saving you since the first day we met. Without me, all you will know is pain.

Time feels like it’s standing still. You don’t know where to go. You don’t know what to do. Some of your neighbors, including Natalie’s dad, are looking your way from their porches. A few are looking through windows, attempting to be more discreet about their burning curiosity for the absolute shitshow unfolding in front of them.

Natalie’s dad John eventually takes pity on you and wordlessly starts lugging your boxes into his living room. He says you’ll need to get them to wherever they’re going  by the end of the week. He’s sorry but he doesn’t feel comfortable offering you a place to stay with “all the hullabaloo going on.” You laugh inwardly. 

You wish that you’d just told him about Matthew grooming and preying on Natalie. Now you aren’t sure he’d even believe you. Just a scorned woman, trying to ruin her ex’s life. You thank him for storing your things and promise to have them picked up and moved out over the next few days. You leave and wander Jackson aimlessly. You don’t really know where to go. You don’t want to go anywhere. But you don’t want to stay here. You want to run and shelter, all at once. 

You tuck into the stables and sit on the makeshift hay bench. You think back to when you and Joel had shared this place, a few weeks back now, and poured your hearts out to one another. How you’d been open and raw. How afterward he’d taken care of you, made you feel loved, took Matthew to task. You finally give in to your tears when you realize all that has been taken away from you on top of everything else. You have no home. You have no place to hide away and lick your wounds. You have no one to help care for said wounds. 

You’re critically injured, gashes open. It’ll fester and waste into a grotesque infection fit for such wickedness until you finally succumb to your fate of being alone, forgotten, worthless, a waste.

The sun is almost settling on the horizon when Joel finds you. He’s breathless and has been searching for hours. Ellie filled him in on the town happenings when he was gone. She mentioned the “weird marriage drama stuff” with you and Matthew. Joel knew right away what had happened. What Matthew had done to you. What he’d carefully crafted for you to encounter. Laying a trap, like the worthless coward he was, too spineless to own up to his mistakes and face you like a man.

What angered Joel the most was that he fully understood that Matthew above all else wanted to hurt you in the most sinister sense: making you believe all the horrible things about yourself that he’d told you over the years. And from the look on your face when he finds you in the stables, Joel worries that Matthew has accomplished what he’d set out to do.

This was supposed to be three parts, but it's looking more like four now. Tysm for being patient in between parts and for reading!

Title is inspired by A Winter Love by Lang Leav.

catch ya later, ♥Puddles♥

[cantfuckbracket]

Can't Fuck Bracket - Group Stage. Group 28: Characters That Inspired Paragraphs

Jiang Cheng (MDZS/The Untamed) versus Bertrand Beaumont (The Royal Romance) versus Joe Goldberg (You)

[ID: The unfuckable pride flag overlaid with the "no bitches" meme. Jiang is a Chinese man with long hair, shown with a woozy face; Bertrand is a white man in a sweater and blazer, frowning; Joe is a white man with short hair, shown staring blankly. Over it are pictures of the contestants. Over them are sparkles and a heart with a butt, and in between them are peach emojis crossed out with the word "vs" in them. End ID]

Propaganda:

Jiang Cheng: "He’s literally such a bad date that he is blacklisted from dating pools. He’s ranked as the 5th most handsome bachelor in the cultivation world (who is the panel of judges that decide this? I really don’t know!!!) yet despite this and him ALSO being rich and powerful on top of that, women still hate him!!! Hes just that unpleasant!!!!! He’s constantly being one-upped by his adoptive brother (deserved) (4th most handsome bachelor, btw) so much so that it’s become a meme, he even lost a best mdzs character poll tournament (in the first round iirc) to said adoptive brother’s pet donkey. Literally no one wants him!!!!! He is the loneliest saddest most pathetic sopping wet cat of a man I’ve ever seen!! I’m convinced he will die a virgin" / "Guy has no game, in the drama version (the untamed) he goes after a chick who’s clearly a lesbian and just never gets any"

Bertrand Beaumont:

• like father like son innit

• he's a cunt but not in a cool sexy way. in a pathetic overgrown rat kind of way that makes you want to punt him back into the sewers

• his name is bertrand archibald beaumont. would YOU wanna fuck him???? i thought not

• the amount of times you have to help him with his relationship. like the countless apologies for being a dumb stupid shit. helping him propose. help with his vows. im 110% convinced mc had to get on video chat for their wedding night so she could instruct bertrand on what to do

• yeeeeah you can't convince me they dont sleep in separate beds in separate rooms

• and also that nasty sweater vest and jacket?????? i know he hasnt washed them in years. of course no one would go near him

• that one country outfit

• killer eyebrows? eye'm gonna kill meself x

Joe Goldberg: "The first time he gets to fuck a woman that he's stalked he finishes in like 2 seconds. Never appears to be any better at fucking any of the countless times he fucks after that. I bet his dick feels like a limp fish. Also got arrested for having sex in a public place and constantly jacks off in public like I think if you were any good at sex you wouldnt need to be doing that. Tried to have a bisexual foursome once to get his wife to leave him and he wimped out so hard at the idea of fucking another man even though he is arguably bisexual himself. The most sexual tension he ever actually had was with a hallucination of another man he had in his own head. Just kind of pathetic"

[andromedasummer]

Halfway through the first Lockwood and Co book and

- It's fun remembering how good Stroud is at writing tension and horror. The descriptions of the ghosts have mostly been incredibly sad, but the way he describes the ghost that killed all of Lucys first team, specifically what isnt seen when they turn the corner and the screaming starts is good. Very fun eerie stuff.

- I'm not sure if I'll be as freaked out reading these as I was the last time as I've gotten into horror media a bit more, esp Junji Ito's works, which are a lot more alarming as ghosts go

- God I love the dynamics between Lucy, George and Lockwood. They're all very flawed but all very real and it's fun watching then bicker and snip at each other on cases.

- Quill is even more pathetic than I remember. It's great it isn't downplayed at all when we first see him. Hes a snide little prick, then theres a hint at the sadder parts of his story and then we see how utterly pathetic he is.

- Lockwood sticking his rapier in the roof and him having to jump to catch it is still the scene thats stuck with me the most from the books and I cheered when I saw it happen in the tv show the other day.

- The only other time Quills been mentioned so far is him getting soaked in excrement while on patrol for ghosts in the London sewers. Paper towel of a man. Favrit character.

- Speaking of favrit character I can't wait till Holly shows up. Its a while away (book 3) but I love her to bits and miss her terribly even if at this point there isnt a her to miss.

- Side note these teenagers are a mess dude breaks into your home tries to kill you with ghosts and attacks you and then bolts and you DON'T notify anyone about it. What are the three of you fucking doing. Fuck the cops and deprac but what do you plan on doing. You've only got those dinky rapier for ghosts.

- God Fairfax is slimy and nasty and cold and I can't wait for him to die at the end of the book

[dragon-business]

Y0 antagonists ratings/opinions

Mister(s) Shakedown(s) + Amon

Didn't get to Amon in Y0, because we didn't finish these quests. One of the few that we didn't do in full, actually. Didn't seem as fun at the moment. Amon gets a pass, because he gets more screen time in later games. 

Evilness: 4/10 robbing people is bad, I heard Forgetability: 7/10 hard to forget, when Amons are in each game Iconic level: friend of a mutual tells me they’re cool/10 memes Free slot: ????too hard to get through to the good parts

2. Helicopter-car chases

These sequences was pure torture. My hands were cramped even when I wasn't holding the controller. Every minute lasted an hour. The fucking bazookas? Infuriating. Worst survival horror game.

Evilness: 9/10 fuck this shit, let me out of the car Forgetability: 1/10 still feel the cramps .__, Iconic level: 0.5/10 “look, just like in the movies, right?” Free slot: 1,5/10 on enjoyment scale 

3. Cult leader from the substory

Pretty funny scam artist, all the later games character development got him on the list. We love us a lil fucked up reoccurring character.

Evilness: 8/10 doing terrible things to vulnerable people Forgetability: 4/10 forgot about him each time until the next appearance Iconic level: 4/10 will never forget that dance Free slot: retirement home for one million years for the grandpa

4. Dojima captain guy 1

????????

Evilness: 7/10 he’s a yakuza, after all, he’s done some bad stuff, probably Forgetability: 10/10 who? Iconic level: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Free slot: forgot he existed

5. Dojima captain guy 2

Purple suit guy with the boxing/dancing ring in the basement was pretty fab. He gets extra points for the drip. Otherwise idk what he- wait he saved Majima that one time? Huh. You keep learning things.

Evilness: 7/10 normal yakuza guy doing yakuza things Forgetability: 9/10 I know he was there, I guess Iconic level: 3/10 purple suit points Free slot: purple suit, that’s all I remember

6. Kuze

First fight with him was pretty tough. And then he just kept coming back, again and again. With desperate determination. And Kiryu got stronger and stronger between each encounter. And Kuze stayed on the same level, just looking more and more beat up. And that's amazing storytelling through game mechanics, but also really iconic, ngl. 

I mean, man rode a dang motorbike in the sewers. He got the motorbike in the sewers, positioned it in the right spot to start the chase (did he get help for that?), and then rode it down there, through the nasty Kamurocho pipes, hunting down an annoying twunk like a medieval baron chasing a boar. All this while already beat up by said twunk. And he gets beaten again. Rolling in that sweet sewage water in his bandages. 

Evilness: 6/10 he’s out there vibing to his own tunes Forgetability: 1/10 he Will Not Let You Forget about him, even if you’d want to Iconic level: 8/10 meme icon Free slot: he seemed like real threat at the start, but by the chase in the sewers he was our pal, our failmate bro, all the respect to his dedication o7; 4/10 on actual fights and smartness

7. Kashiwagi 

He's on the list for what he did to Nishiki. Just sent the brother of his son to kill, uhh, his son. Just like that. Like, I get that he had his reasons, he really thought he was doing good, he thought he's saving Kiryu from suffering. Because of course it is all about Kiryu and what he supposedly (probably) (maybe) needs.

Evilness: 7/10 good intentions on the way down Forgetability: 0.5/50 look at him slurping cold noodles in his first scene, he’s stealing the show Iconic level: 7.5/10, again, look at the man eating noodles like a dad Free slot: 2/10 top tier dad, bless. 

8. Sagawa

He's such a masterfully done abuser. Partially because he acts so nice. But there's always an unnerving feeling underneath it.

He only resorts to violence when everything's gone to shit. But it always feels like he's capable of it at any moment. It's like a rock constantly looming over, waiting to drop.

Evilness: 8.5/10 on the creep scale, very good for the story Forgetability: 2/10 he’s in your walls, he owns your walls, your balls, and your paycheck Iconic level: 6/10 smartly dressed Free slot: 1/10 as a person, would deck him on sight; thank g-d Majima's away from him now

9. Shimano

Smart, playing the long game, but really, in Y0 he seemed smarter than he is. 

Long distance threat to Majima's safety, the threat he has trouble seeing as one. And that's the real kicker, that's the horror of it all – Majima striving to get back in the family, back under Shimano's thumb in his self-destructive last mission quest. Majima deciding to come back/stay even after the Hole, after y0, Majima getting so close to freedom but not being able to grasp it, and rationalising staying near Shimano for years, rebelling, but never separating in full.

And Shimano perfectly understands the power he has over Majima, and is always ready to use it. To break him at a moment's notice, if it will be useful for his plans. And this is way more uncomfortable and terrifying than Sagawa's brand of underlying threat.

Evilness: 12/10 made us start the “save Majima” movement Forgetability: 0/100 burned into my brain in the worst way possible Iconic level: 3/7 fashion sense is kinda bland, but he does have a presence Free slot: again, would deck on sight, but still – amazing character writing, very cool points for Majima’s story

10. Oda

Big oof moment, amaright?..

Such a fascinating character. He's not stereotypical, and has a compelling, layered personality, which is amazing for a gay man in the big hit game. But also. Ooof. Such a big oooof.

But, surprisingly in this day and age, it's not being gay that made him a piece of trash awful man who died. He was all that on his own, it was just his shit finally catching up to him in the end. And the love for Tachibana was actually his saving grace in life, a point of growth as a person (albeit small). So not denying him that, no. Even one-sided, it made him more human. 

Idk if writers did all that on purpose, but these points felt very distinct in the story.

It's fascinating how Oda's character is a (terrible) person first, and he just happens to be gay. But also, him being gay is ultimately important. We played y0 before all the gay shows took over the screens, and this storyline hit us like a train. Can tell you a lot about the state of queer media at the time.

– Me, after we've met Oda: hehe, he totally has it for the boss The plot: 

– Me, after seeing them interact on screen: hehe, Tachibana is making him suffer :3c Me, when plot: .___.

Evilness: 9.5/10 the 0.5 is from his love for Tachibana  Forgetability: -100/10 I lay awake at night thinking about this bitch Iconic level: 1000/5 look at him, man’s shining Free slot: Bidoof

11. Nishitani

Hated him at the start, because he's a creepy cat, because of the noises, and also because of that one slide on the ground with the knife wiggle, you know the one. Unironically love him now, because the world out there is full of far worse people, and he sure did his attempt at surviving it.

(He totally crawled away at the end, no body no finale, I stan by this)

Evilness: 7/10 he's pretty fucked up, ngl, bringing corpses to Majima like a stray cat Forgetability: -10/10 lives rent free in everyone's head Iconic level: 9/10 man's been on the screen the least but made an impression of a lifetime (on all of us, and on Majima) Free slot: yet another normal cat that everyone think is a "mad dog"; honorary Knife Guy

12. Dojima

Organized a wholeass hunt for Kiryu, got Makoto shot, planned a big power grab, put it all on the table… and lost it all. To Sera.

Respecting him for the effort, he didn't let us rest once. Not respecting what his drinking (and other life choices) made him into later, but even before that I struggle to see what Yayoi saw in him. Apart from maybe her being a young girl from a yakuza family that arranged a political marriage for her when she wasn't even 20 yet. And there is a story here that can be very interesting, like, did you know that (according to rggo) at this exact time Sera was a student that was often arrested on protests? In this essay I will-

Evilness: solid 8/10 he do be scheming Forgetability: 1/10 dragon of who, you say? (Kiryu is very much the dragon of Daigo by this point, but yeah) Iconic level: 5/10 dressed good and has big presence, but derails down the line to a total (not hot) mess, so no respect  Free slot: you know, right? Daigo is totally Seras' so- *gets gutted by Yayoi*

13. Knife guy

When Kiryu went through his (and ours) first Long Building™️ to get to the (first) fight with Kuze, we encountered Him. The guy with the knife. 

It was already tough going through room after room of generic enemies when Kiryu wasn't that strong yet, and we weren't that skilled with the controls. And the Knife Guy was the first recurring enemy, a small mini-boss with a stabby knife that would bleed us dry and leave us savescumming. And he kept coming back. Again, and again, and again, and-

Before Kuze. Before Majima Everywhere. Before everything. There was an unkillable lil freak with a knife that just wouldn't quit until you literally threw him out of the 2nd floor window.

And I think it's beautiful.

Evilness: 5/10 man’s just doing his yakuza job, and doing it well Forgettability: -10000000000/10 who could ever forget this man the- *checks notes on the hand* Tomoda Iconic level: ∞-1/10 there is a knife guy shape forever imprinted in our hearts but there is still free room left, because Free slot: in this world only Majima surpasses him, because Majima is, of course, The Ultimate Knife Guy

- before / navigation / next

[taffycandyqt]

heyyy again, can i request the rise turtles reacting to reader deciding they want to pierce them-selfs but too lazy to go get them professionally done so they just walk in on the reader half-way piercing them-selfs and freak out cuz they just have a needle in them and reader is laughing their ass off at their face.

(the piercing can be anywhere an there face)

remember to drink lots of water as well and take care of yourself <3

Your literally so sweet! Thank you! <3 and right back at you, take good care!

Also I got to like the middle of Mikey's and then Tumblr deleted the whole thing so I just kinda🥲

TW: Mentions of blood (nothing gross), mentions of needles and needles piercing skin

Notes: GN reader

You decided that getting piercings was too much effort and too expensive. So why not do it yourself?

Raph:

*PANIC*

Boi is the epitome of terrified

And look, he knows piercings are a thing and that people get them but like he isn't surrounded by many people with them and he always thought it was supposed to be done professionally.

So, safe to say when he comes to your place to hang and finds you in the bathroom with blood dripping from your ear and a needle in it, broski SCREECHED.

Legit worried someone straight up tried to stabb you with a needle.

Tonight was the night! You finally decided to suck it up and get that double piercing you've always wanted. However, you were poor.

So! DIY it is! People do it all the time so it couldn't be that hard right?

Wrong.

At least you think so. You didn't really do any research before hand so you aren't 100% sure the bleeding is bad. But at the same time you don't think bleeding is normal in this kind of situation. Or at least not the desired result.

Admist the chaos of you trying to control the bleeding Raph texts you that he dropped by for a short visit. You figured that the calming presence of your boyfriend would help lift you mood and keep you from freaking out. So after telling him where to find you, you sat down on the toilet lid to actually search up how to to pierce yourself. (And if bleeding is normal). However before you could get to any useful information you hear the surprised screech of your boyfriend.

"OH MI GOSH! ARE YOU OKAY??!"

"Oh, Raph this is jus-"

"WOW thatsalotofblood...COTTON BALLS! or gauze?? You have those right? How did this happen?? WAIT! We need to remove the needle first! Did someone do this to you??? Was it an accident? How do you accidental-"

"PFFFFFFFTTT! HAHAHehehehehe!" You practically cackled.

"w- ... what ...?" Raph said, no less panicked, just a little more confused.

"Raph. Sweetheart, hehe," you couldn't help but giggle. "Love of my life, I'm fine, I'm just piercing my ears."

"Oh. So the bleeding is normal then?"

"Oh, no. I'm pretty sure that's a bad thing."

"TAKE THE NEEDLE OUT!"

Mikey:

You cannot tell me this boy has not thought about getting piercings before.

They're just so pretty and cool, and he is all for them! (Low-key upset he doesn't have ears because of all the cool ear piercings out there)

Even with that though, when you show up with needles sticking out of each side of you bottom lip, bro is a little scared.

Like wtf are you doing??

When you tell him though, he is HAPPY to help.

He will even get a piercing with you!

Splinter will make him take it out later buuuuuut, it's about the couple bondinggg!!

On a high of boredom and internet envy (a.k.a, seeing tons of pics of hot ppl with snake bite piercings) you began to prepare needles to give yourself some dope piercings. After expertly pushing the needles through both ends of your bottom lip you were reminded of your 'bi-weekly mandatory art and cuddle couple bonding date' (Mikey's name for it). You couldn't just take the needles out so after some thought you just decided, screw it, it's not like I'm bleeding. It hurt a little though.

After slipping under the man hole cover and navigating the nasty sewer you made it to the lair. Voicing a quick hello to Splinter as you passed through he living room he met you with a swift wave, still thoroughly invested in his l show.

Making your way to Mikey's room you speak a quick 'knock knock' to get his attention, seeing as you couldn't really knock on a curtain. As the turtle of the hour excitedly pushed open the curtain he was more than a little surprised upon seeing you.

"EEP!"

*WHEEZE!*

You couldn't help it okay?? You didn't know what reaction you were expecting from him but it definitely wasn't 'EEP!'. Eventually you both calmed down enough to talk.

"Angle, what did you do?"

"I'm getting snake bites! Did it myself, what do you think??"

"That's so COOL! Can I get a piercing too!!?"

"I'm pretty sure that's up to your dad hun."

"He'll be fineeeeeee! Come on! This can be the art portion of the 'art and cuddle' date.

Later:

"ORANGE!" Splinter yelled. "I DON'T CARE IF THIS IS SOME FORM OF TEENAGE REBELLION, TAKE THAT OUT NOW OR I'LL DO IT MYSELF!"

"But daaaaaaad!"

Leo:

If you thought Raph's screeching was bad, Leo's is worse.

My guy just wanted to see you and just so happens to portal to you right as the needle goes STRAIGHT through your septum.

When he sees this he FREAKS TF OUT then slips and eats bathroom tile right after.

You'll laugh but he will be so shook

Like he saw the needle GO THROUGH YOU!

Mans is high-key traumatized.

It doesn't help that he probably forgot that piercings were a thing and is just like, wth would you put a needle in YOUR FACE.

When you tell him you're just getting a piercing he will get pouty about you laughing at him (and embarrassed that that wasn't his first thought) and you'll basically have to baby him the rest of the time he's there.

"Oh y/nnnnn-"

*Pinch*

Needle successfully through the septum.

"EEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAH- OOF!"

"HOLY! LEO! WTF you scared the crap out of me! Are you okay?!"

"Wha- eeh- THERES A NEEDLE IN YOUR NOSE!" He yelled pointing a finger at your face.

"Sksksksksk," you snickered. "Yeah, Leo, I put it there."

You had always wanted a septum piercing, but you just couldn't bring yourself to actually go and get it done so you figured the only way to get it is to do it yourself. Your just lucky Leo scared you after it was through rather than before, who knows the kind of bloody nose you would have gotten.

"WHY?!"

"Uuuh, cuz septum piercings are cool?"

"..."

"So how'd the floor taste bud?"

"I-! Hey! Why don't you try seeing someone STAB a NEEDLE through there face. I SAW I GO THROUGH!" He gestured dramatically before folding his arms and facing away from you.

"Awww, come on now handsome. Don't be like that. Tell you what, why don't we make some hot coco and we can watch whatever movie you want"

"Mmmhmmhmhm" he grumped but complied as you led him to the kitchen.

He clung to you the rest of the evening and consistently snuggled his face into your neck during the movie.

Donnie:

Low-key grossed out by the idea of a needle going through someone.

Even more grossed out that you decided to #1. Do it yourself, and #2. Pierce your tongue.

Just, ewww.

But then you had the GALL to ask him if he could help you and he's just like, with what??

I'm not touching your tongue and I am sure not stabbing it with a needle, so what do you want from me??

Will tell you about the multitude of mouth infections you could get from a tongue piercing

Will be there the entire time to make sure you don't hurt yourself, though he has to look away when you actually put the needle through.

Again, ew.

Even though he finds the whole idea gross, he will admit that when all was said and done, it looked good on you.

Your probably the only person he thinks looks good with one.

"I'm sure Mikey would be more than happy to help you."

"No Donnie! I asked YOU cuz I want YOUR help!"

You told Donnie all the time how you wanted a tongue piercing. You were just to lazy to get it done professionally and frankly, you don't want a stranger prodding your mouth. When you realized you could do it yourself, you were so excited. Donnie helping you would just make it all that much better!

"Y/n, while I am happy to assist you in any matter and am glad you came to me for such, I'm afraid I cannot help you in this matter."

"Why not? Your smart, with your help my piercing will be perfect!"

"Dearest. You are correct, I am smart. However, I am a man if science and my talents lie outside the realm of bodily piercings. Besides, are you aware of the sheer amount of infections a piercing give you? Mouth piercings especially cause quite grotesque infections, and that's not even to mention the damage it can cause to your teeth."

"Awwww." You sighed in disappointment.

"..."

"Though... I suppose nothing stops me from making sure you follow the instructions correctly."

"YAAAY!"

-a couple minutes later-

"Okay, dear, let's go over one more time. Gauze?"

"Yes!" You replied.

"Needle?"

"Yup!"

"Piercing?"

"Yeppers!"

Donnie looked at you for a moment and raised an eyebrow at that response, but kept going regardless.

"Lighter and ice cubes?"

"Yeppiroo!"

"Okay. The first step is to heat the needle."

After carefully going through the instructions you finally got your long awaited tongue piercing! However Donnie didn't think you had started to pierce your tongue and saw you with a needle halfway through your tongue before looking away and gaging, which you couldn't help but laugh at. That was until Donnie told you to stop before you hurt yourself. Overall, he did make the whole experience, so much better.

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I hope that was good! Sorry if there are any inaccuracies. I am literally going off of what I saw in the parent trap soooooo. Yeah. There's my first fic.

Imma go to bed now🥱😵