#narrator voice: she would in fact not have his

[hurtingbuck]

1x10 / 2x01

[quicksilversnails]

It's so fun how the Princess and the Dragon acknowledges and plays with game mechanics that are assumed to be non-diegetic, and uses them to add insight to the story/characters.

The title card is a really obvious example, being something that TLQ actually sees and can comment on, and something that the Princess hadn't ever seen. What most would assume is just a framing device for the player is a real element of the world/construct.

I think it emphasizes how the story that the Narrator constructed is only "meant" to be told to TLQ. After all, The Narrator only appears in TLQ's mind, providing elaborate descriptions and attempting to contextualize the events of the game as a heroic task to save the world. Meanwhile the Princess is all alone, with no title cards or exposition, no context for why any of this is happening to her. The story revolves around her, but it doesn't care about her beyond her designated role, as something to be slain and hated. Her perspective is irrelevant to the Narrator's plan, so she doesn't get the fancy presentation or necessary context: she doesn't deserve it.

There's also those long stretches of dialogue where the voices talk to each other in TLQ's mind without progressing the story. They're occasionally acknowledged by the Princess elsewhere (Prisoner, Nightmare) but P&tD makes it very explicit and confirms that time is actively passing during these conversations, with TLQ staring in silence for who knows how long.

(Personally I don't think all of the voice dialogue is necessarily in real time, if only because some Princesses wouldn't have had the patience for it. Like if you had really stood still for that long, the Beast would've definitely eaten you... she's not waiting for you to finish thinking lol)

This one I think is more for humour, but it also draws attention to how much of the inner conversation the Princess is missing in normal chapters, when the voices aren't actively speaking to her through TLQ's body. Where we're having vibrant debates or key information revealed by the Narrator, she just sees a silent, staring figure. Speaking of the Narrator, He's completely absent from the Princess' POV, either because He doesn't want to speak to her or is somehow unable to (He does say in Tower that she's not supposed to be able to interact with Him...) Again, the story was not made to be told to her, so she isn't given His context, and because the player is usually so immersed in TLQ's perspective, they probably wouldn't realize just how much she's missing until they see things from her perspective.

One other example: if you choose to [Say nothing] immediately after you excise yourself, the Princess reacts to it:

I just find this so hilarious tbh, and the fact that she repeats back those exact words implies that she literally senses the text written in brackets. If you do it once you're back in the basement, she says this:

I wonder if it's the same for the Narrator/voices... do they also “feel” your actions while you’re choosing them? Do they hear you say (Lie) before you lie? When Skeptic said "Wink" out loud did he actually choose a dialogue option with [Wink] in brackets?? Ok that last one's a joke but there's lots of potential here

I just think it's cool because the average player wouldn't think twice about any of these things, because they seem like simple stylistic/game design choices. In a game where all player input is through dialogue options, the square brackets are an immediately understandable way to convey action, as opposed to plain text. In a game structured around repeating loops, it makes sense to make those loops distinguishable for players by separating each loop with a title card, and the chapter naming convention works as a nod to the fairytale storybook aesthetics the game draws from.

But by placing you into the Princess's head and acknowledging those design choices as diegetic elements that change depending on your perspective, it forces you to reevaluate your experiences: the things you didn't think were really "part of the game" and the experiences you didn't realize weren't universal. It exposes your hidden privileges, the luxuries and structural supports you have compared to the Princess that you don't even notice because you've never experienced the alternative.

It might make you realize how the way you perceive and conceptualize the world might be very different from how others conceptualize it (Tony's recent ask about the multicoloured glass in HEA could also play into this in a fascinating way, with the mismatch in perception between TLQ and the Narrator's script). It's all just very cool for a game that's based on perception.

It also makes me wonder... what other elements of this game are diegetic that we just haven't paid attention to?

Well, I think that the captions are probably also diegetic. TLQ occasionally refers to the voices by their complete titles despite them not ever referring to each other by those titles, instead opting for descriptors like "jumpy one" or "the worst one" or "rage boy" or "chilly little freak" lol. For a direct comparison, Paranoid exclusively calls Smitten "the lovesick one" or some variant in HEA, but TLQ refers to him by his full name using quotation marks, as if he's quoting something he's read:

The voices don't seem aware that these titles exist, while TLQ does, despite them sharing a mind. Also, when the Princess shares a body/mind with you, she never uses their titles either. In the Spectre/Princess and the Dragon, she calls Hero "the nice one", Cold "the quiet one" or "cold little freak", and the Narrator "the bossy one" or "that murder-happy know-it-all". Spectre describes the voices as shards of broken glass on the floor, so she likely perceives them completely differently to how we/TLQ see them.

Even The Narrator isn't aware of His title. If you call Him that in the mirror conversation, He says "'The Narrator'. I suppose that's my job, isn't it?", reacting to the title as if it's His first time hearing about it. There's also this question from the fourth Shifty encounter:

It seems like the titles are presented specifically for The Long Quiet/decider, and that they somehow reflect how TLQ perceives the voices/Narrator, since TLQ takes credit for "calling him" that. If the captions were specifically shown to TLQ in the same way that the title cards are, it'd explain how he has this information without it ever being verbally told to him, and why the Princess doesn't know their titles even when she's sharing your body.

But besides the captions, I think it could be fun to interpret the game as if most, if not all of its game mechanics exist in-universe. The choice menu, the music, the cursors, the save/load icons, saving/loading in general, the title screen, the Clown Princess living in the walls (game files), you name it. Let’s peel away these game mechanics cell by cell! Let's see what meaning we can find together, let's see what we're made of!

[piinksdoll]

→ [Bed Chem | Spencer Reid]

Pairing~ Spencer Reid x Singer!Reader

Genre~ fluff, very suggestive

Word Count~ 2.2k

Warnings~ sexual innuendos, spencer being an awkward cutie

a/n~ very fluffy and cute but also VERY suggestive, and I know some of the lyrics down match up with spence so pls dont hate me also I just used a photo of sab so dont hate me it was just to visualize!!! also NOT PROOFREAD!!!! also I added links to visualize for me people who are visual-izers lol k have fun!

part 1!! part 2!!

(Narrator POV)

Penelope had gathered everyone in her apartment for her usual get-together, but this time, she seemed particularly excited about something. She wouldn’t stop grinning, and none of the team could get a straight answer about what they were about to listen to. Spencer would rather be at home with you, since days that you're in Virginia are scarce, but you insisted he hang out with his friends. He sat in Penelope’s apartment excited for the night to be over so he could return home to you.

“Come on, Babygirl, spill it,” Derek said, giving her an exasperated look. “What’s this surprise? Is it a podcast? Audiobook? Something crime-related?”

“Oh, it's so much better than that!” Penelope said with a mischievous look in her eye. “It’s music! A new artist I’m obsessed with. Her name is Y/n Y/l/n and she's so amazing you’re going to love her! We’re listening to her new album Short n’ Sweet, she only has a performance out for Bed Chem so we’re going to start off with that!”

The fact that she had chosen your album had made Spencer uncharacteristically nervous, and now that Penelope was about to press play on a song about him, his unease was starting to become visible. Spencer stiffened beside Derek, his fingers nervously twitching at his sides. He knew this album very well. Penelope pressed play, and the first beats of ‘Bed Chem’ by you started filling the room. The sultry intro immediately set the tone, and Spencer swallowed hard. He could feel the heat rise in his cheeks. Of all the songs.

I was in a sheer dress the day that we met

We were both in a rush, we talked for a sec

Your friend hit me up so we could connect

And what are the odds? You sent me a text…

Emily raised an eyebrow, intrigued. “Ooh, this sounds fun.” JJ nodded along, smiling. “It’s catchy.” But it wasn’t long before the lyrics kicked in, and as Spencer listened to the opening lyrics he recalled how you two met:

Flashback

(Y/n POV)

“Listen, I know I have all these things to do but I just need time ok? The album needs something, I am not at all ready for it to come out. It's literally all just sad, and there needs to be something else apart from it. Nat, please just a few more months and you can release it no matter what- oh my, i'm so sorry that was totally my fault!” I exclaimed seeing coffee spill all over the coat of the stranger in front of me. My phone fell on the ground  between us landing under the books that had slipped from his hand. I look up and am met with big brown eyes that look like chocolate I can just melt in.

The stranger in front of me gasped slightly, looking down at his now coffee-stained coat. "No, no, it's okay!" he reassured me, his voice soft but flustered as he knelt down to gather his fallen books. I crouched quickly, reaching for my phone that had landed just beneath one of his thick textbooks.

“I’m really sorry,” I said again, glancing up at him once again as our hands brushed while reaching for the same book. His eyes met mine, and for a moment, I was struck by how gentle his expression was, despite the mess I had made.

He smiled softly, his eyes crinkling at the edges in a way that made my heart skip a beat. "Really, it's fine," he said, handing me the phone. "Accidents happen." I let out a small, relieved laugh, grateful he wasn’t upset. “I’ll buy you a new coat or at least pay for the dry cleaning. Seriously, I’m-”

“You don’t have to do that,” he interrupted, standing up and shaking his head. “It’s just coffee. I can clean it up.” I straightened, still feeling embarrassed. “At least let me buy you a coffee. You know, to replace the one I spilled.” I offered, hoping to make up for my clumsiness. He looked at me for a moment, considering it, a small smile tugged at the corners of his lips. “Alright. But only if you’ll let me grab a seat and hear why you’re so stressed out.” He motioned towards the phone I had been mid-conversation with when we collided. I blinked, surprised by his easy going nature. "Deal," I said, smiling cheekily up at him “But, uh... I didn’t catch your name.” He extended a hand. "Spencer. Spencer Reid."

I shook his hand, feeling the warmth of his touch as I introduced myself. “Nice to meet you, Spencer. I'm Y/n.”

Flashback Over

And now the next thing I know, I'm like

Manifest that you're oversized

I digress, got me scrollin' like 

Out of breath, got me goin' like

Who's the cute boy with the white jacket and the thick accent? Like

Ooh, maybe it's all in my head

But I bet we'd have really good bed chem

Spencer’s stomach dropped as the next set of lyrics filled the room. Penelope was still humming along, enjoying the vibe of the song, completely oblivious to the growing nervousness inside of him.“‘Manifest that you're oversized... Out of breath, got me goin' like...’” Penelope sang along under her breath. She glanced over at Spencer and caught him staring at the floor, his body stiff. 

“Oh, this one’s so good! It’s got that flirty energy.” Derek laughed. “It’s catchy, for sure. I wonder who the song is about though?” He grinned, “Bet the dude is feelin’ pretty lucky.” Spencer's breath hitched as the chorus started

How you pick me up, pull me down, turn me 'round, oh, it just makes sense

How you talk so sweet when you're doin' bad things, that's bed (bed) chem (chem) 

How you're lookin' at me, yeah, I know what that means and I'm obsessed 

Are you free next week? I'd bet we'd have really good

Spencer’s mind was racing as the sound of your voice fills the room. He knew everyone was at ease and him being stiff and sweating was putting a spotlight on him. Emily let out a low chuckle as the suggestive lyrics played. “This girl is something else. I don’t know who she’s singing about, but they must be good.” She raised an eyebrow, half-joking, but Spencer could feel his heart racing.

Come right on me I mean, camaraderie 

Said you're not in my timezone, but you wanna be 

Where art thou? Why not uponeth me? 

See it in my mind, let's fulfil the prophecy Ooh (ah) 

He takes in a sharp breath at the racy lyrics. His pulse quickened, and he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. The team continued to listen, oblivious to the internal panic flooding his body. Each line felt more like a spotlight aimed directly at him. Derek let out a low whistle, eyebrows raising at the suggestive turn in the song. “Damn. This song is getting real interesting.” He laughed at Spencer’s uncomfortable state, completely unaware of the significance behind it.

JJ chuckled, swaying her head to the beat. “I love how bold she is! Whoever this song is about… they are very lucky.” Spencer’s hands gripped the edge of his seat, his face heating up. He could feel Emily’s eyes subtly watching him from across the room. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could endure this.

Who's the cute guy with the wide, brown eyes and the big bad, mmm, like? 

Ooh (ah) I know it sound a bit redundant 

But I bet we'd have really good bed chem

As the song ended Spencer let out a breath he wasn't aware he was holding in, thankful that the song was over. “What's up, pretty boy? Couldn't handle a pretty girl singing bout bad things?” Derek teased him, throwing an arm around his shoulders, his grin wide. As he was about to respond his phone rang, Spencer’s heart nearly jumped out of his chest when his phone buzzed on the table. The screen lit up with your name and contact photo, one of you smiling brightly. The entire team froze, their eyes slowly shifting from the phone to Spencer, then back to the phone.

Derek’s grin widened even more, his teasing now taking on a new level. “Well, well, well… Look who it is.” he said, still keeping his arm draped over Spencer’s shoulder. “Is this the mystery girl you've been so secretive about these past few months?” Penelope's eyes widened in excitement. “Oh my gosh, Spencer! Are you going to answer? You have to answer.” JJ leaned in closer, a sly smile tugging at her lips. “This explains a lot, actually,” she said, glancing from Spencer to the phone, Emily finished her sentence. “Especially that song.” Spencer shook his head trying to hide his blush as he answered the phone.

“Hey Y/n”

‘Hey lover, you havin fun?’

“Yeah, uh, the night took an interesting turn…”

‘Oh? How so?’

“Yeah, uh so Penelope invited us over and turns out it was a listening party… for your album…”

‘Oh- that hilarious oh my’

“Yeah and they just heard Bed Chem and they saw you called me…”

‘Oh my- HAHA thats so funny whattt’

“Yeah, they wanna meet you now.”

‘Well good because I've been wanting to meet them! Can you finally introduce us?’

“Alright well I guess it’s time. You're my person, I want you to meet my family.”

‘Well I can't wait. What about you invite them to my concert next weekend in DC and we can go to dinner afterwards?’

“Sounds perfect, like you, I'll see you at home I love you.”

‘Love you too. See ya lover’

Spencer returned to the group after hanging up, slipping his phone into his pocket. He tried to keep his expression neutral, but the warmth from your call still lingered on his face. As he sat down, the team was waiting for him, grins plastered across their faces, eyes twinkling with mischief. Derek was the first to break the silence, leaning in with a smirk. “So, pretty boy, you and Y/n Y/l/n, huh? Sounds like she’s got you all wrapped up in that album.”

Spencer shifted uncomfortably, glancing at the others, who were clearly holding back their laughter. “I didn’t know we were having a listening party,” he mumbled, trying to divert the attention. “Didn’t know? Or didn’t plan on being exposed?” Emily teased, raising an eyebrow. Penelope gasped dramatically, clutching her heart. “I mean, Spencer Reid as a muse for a song about that? Honestly, I’m living for this.” Spencer’s face flushed deep red. “It’s not exactly like that-”

“Oh, come on, Spence!” JJ finally chimed in, laughing. “Even you have to admit it’s a little funny.” Spencer looked down at his hands, a small, shy smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Okay... maybe it’s a little funny.” The team erupted into laughter, the tension in the air easing as they continued to tease him, but in a much lighter, more affectionate way. “You really had us going there, man,” Derek chuckled, shaking his head. “Didn’t expect you two.”

Spencer sighed, still smiling despite the embarrassment. “I didn’t expect it either... but, you know, I’m really lucky to have her.”

“And clearly, she’s lucky to have you, too,” Emily added, her teasing softening into something more sincere. “You two make a great pair.” Spencer looked up at her, grateful for her words. “Thanks, Emily.”

“She uh, invited all of you to her concert next week and dinner afterwards so you guys can finally meet.” A mix of excitement and nervousness in his voice. “She's been asking for a while but I've been nervous but she's really important to me. I really love her, you guys, and youre my family. It's time for you guys to meet.” He nodded sincerely. 

Penelope was the first to speak, “Oh my god, yes please I wasn’t able to get tickets that amazing! And I cannot wait to meet her!” Her voice was laced with excitement. JJ smiled brightly, nudging Spencer’s shoulder playfully. “Look at you! Having a secret girlfriend. I love it. I’m so happy for you, Spencer!” Emily beamed, her gaze softening. “You two sound like a perfect match. I can’t wait to meet her. It’s about time you brought someone special around.” Derek raised an eyebrow, a teasing grin forming on his lips. “So, what are you saying, Reid? Are you going to introduce us to your girlfriend or what? Does she have any friends for me?” Spencer rolled his eyes but couldn’t help but smile. “I am not setting you up, but I know you’ll love her. She’s the sweetest person ever. Just be nice, okay?” 

“I can’t make any promises,” Derek joked, chuckling. “Seriously, though,” Emily said, her tone turning more sincere. “We’re really happy for you, Spence. It’s great to see you so happy.” He nodded, his heart swelling with affection for you and gratitude for his friends. “Thanks, guys. I really appreciate it.”

The conversation continued, filled with excitement and anticipation for the upcoming concert. As the banter resumed, Spencer couldn’t shake the feeling of joy bubbling within him. He knew that sharing this part of his life with his team was important, and he couldn’t wait for you to meet the people who meant so much to him. Later that evening, as he headed home, he found himself smiling at the thought of seeing you. He couldn't wait to show you how much he cared about you and how much he wanted you to be a part of his world.

[just-a-itty-bitty-kitty]

Voice of the Smitten is a coping mechanism. (and so are the other voices)

The same thing applies to the rest of the voices, yes. But for my sanity, today, let's just talk about Smitten[I am ill about him].

Smitten is fixated on the Princess and on appeasing Her because he's born out of a belief that She's their only way to happiness and safety.

In Damsel's chapter 1, LQ establishes for themself that the Narrator is not a safe nor trustworthy person, but unlike Prisoner's ch1, instead of learning to be generally cautious and adopting an idea that there's no one they can fully trust, Quiet puts all of their trust into the Princess.

I strongly believe that, in order to shield themself from a dangerous, unclear, and scary reality, LQ dives into a sort of... 'fairytale' scenario. And that scenario, by extension, becomes the backbone of Smitten's whole worldview. He, just like the rest of the voices, is born out of a need for safety and control, and he knows of it as his purpose and his yearning. His mindset works as a mechanism that protects Quiet from a state of intense stress and discomfort.

So then, what is this mindset, exactly?

Well, for Smitten, expectations of certain roles appear. Roles that everyone has and needs to uphold: The Shining Knight, the Helpless Damsel, the Villain that's keeping them apart.

"Then you should know that we and the Princess are in love and the four of us will be foiling any and all assassination attempts you've got in the works."

These roles bring a sense of comfort. He has this vision of what the world is supposed to be, of what he's supposed to be. Fairytales always have happy endings, so with this vision, there comes a promise of everything working out.

"If he just makes everything go the way it's supposed to, then they'll be safe."

It gives Smitten the role of a protector, someone who controls the situation and wants the best for Quiet, as opposed to the Narrator who has an ulterior motive and clearly just wants to hurt them.

It gives him a sense of control.

So when something goes wrong, it feels like that control is yanked away, and that threatens his and LQ's safety. It takes away his happy ending that he tries so hard to keep.

"We'll get our happy ending, even if it damns each and every person who's ever lived!"

Another thing worth remembering is that the voices and LQ are at least under the impression that they haven't been living for very long. The only experiences they have to go off of, to learn from, are the ones we see in Chapter 1 and then on. To Smitten, the last time things went awry, they died horribly.

So it's no wonder he freaks out and feels like he has to push back for control. And that is also why he sees no problem with killing Quiet's body or even detaching himself from them entirely.

"Don't mind my sacrifice. It's a fair price to pay to give her everything she doesn't know she wants."

He places the responsibility for taking care of everyone on himself. Smitten is firmly under the impression that he "knows better". And he's even proven right a fair amount of times, which only solidifies the idea in his head.

"I told you! There's no life more worth living than that of a true believer!"

"I told you our love was insurmountable!"

But that also means Smitten unintentionally traps himself(and everyone around him) into a box, limiting his potential to just that, a shallow role. And that creates the feeling of inferiority.

His role is all there is to him, so if he can't uphold it, then it means there's something fundamentally wrong with him. It means he's failed.

In fact, Smitten seems to be laser-focused on his own shortcomings, at least when it comes to the Princess.

If She's somehow unhappy with anything Smitten has to offer, then it's not because She did something wrong, or because of some outside factor out of their control(he doesn't want to accept anything being out of his control, even if it would seemingly benefit him). No, it's because Smitten wasn't enough.

He idolizes Her while putting himself down.

"That's because she's perfect!"

It's a bit more complicated with The Long Quiet. On one hand, they are technically one person, but on the other, the voices like to distinguish themselves and seem to have a sense of their own identity.

If we take a look at one of Damsel's third chapters: The Burned Grey, Smitten is very distraught and angry at Quiet, and yet also berates himself at the same time.

"Ah, yes. The mirror. So we can see the monster we've become."

"No, my love! You did nothing wrong! I'm sorry! I'M SORRY, NOT YOU!"

So I think we can assume that it's a mix of both. He may feel angry at LQ but will ultimately blame himself.

Because it's his job to make sure everything went smoothly. It's his job to make sure that She was happy, because if She's happy – they're happy and they just threw all of his work away, but he was supposed to stop them. He was supposed to keep them happy.

He was supposed to keep them happy.

[lillotte17]

Mythal thoughts this morning:

Morrigan said that the "closest" word for the kind of spirit Mythal came from was 'Benevolence' and my immediate reaction was:

Because even her idea that 'when kindness is denied it becomes retribution' doesn't really hold water. That's...not really how kindness works. I would think that a spirit formed around the idea of benevolence would have the same sort of path as Compassion if it became corrupted. Something more like Desperation or Despair.

To me, the idea that seems to fit her is Protection.

Protection is good! It's a feeling and impulse born from kindness and a desire to take care of others! It is also one of the oldest and most primary emotions people have. Desire and Fear came into being, and then Protection must have followed soon after. Because what else can you feel when someone you love is afraid? And a universal symbol for that feeling is a mother guarding her children, which is what Mythal always touted herself as being. "She was the Mother, protective and fierce." The Caretaker calls her 'the protector'. And the name of Solas' regret that you have to fight about her is called 'Fall of the Protector.'

But protection pushed too far becomes overbearing and oppressive. Controlling. 'Just do what I say, this is for your own good.' The cat who eats her kittens so they don't starve. The mother who breaks a precious golden mirror to teach her daughter a lesson.

Solas was Wisdom. He wanted to learn and to teach and to reflect, but even as a spirit, I think he wanted to give his knowledge purpose, and it suits him that he would be drawn to an embodiment of Protection. He could share what he knows and she could use it to keep others safe, and they will both find fulfillment in the exchange. It was mutually beneficial for them, and it was helping other people. A kind of symbiosis and even dependency, to some extent.

And then Elgar'nan makes a body. And he convinces Mythal to do so as well. And it's all downhill from there.

But you can see the thread of how Protection could convince Solas as that kind of spirit, not only as his friend, but because of what she embodies. For example, “it’s not wrong to build bodies from the titans, it gives us strength to protect ourselves and others” and “it’s not wrong to sever the titans' dreams, we’re protecting our people by ending the war” and “it’s not wrong to become a god, because the people need someone to watch over them.” Every bad step she asks him to take with her still echoes with the purpose of her original being, even though it is being pushed to harsh and terrible extremes.

Solas being Wisdom sees how she is wrong, but also doubts his convictions because protection is her nature. They have had a mutually beneficial partnership for thousands of years. He relies on her for fulfillment of his nature just as much as he believes she still relies on him for hers. And he loves her. And he trusts her. And for so many thousands of years, she has wanted to do nothing but good, so what she wants can’t be THAT bad, right?

Narrator Voice: It was, in fact, Much Worse.

And everything spins outward. He is Wisdom and he is a spirit, and spirits don't handle sudden change well, and Wisdom does not handle being wrong well, and the more things fall apart, the more he has to try and fix them. The more he has to justify the choices he made as being right. The more he has to defend the idea and the memory of Mythal being Inherently Good. Because if she wasn't good, then he put his trust in the wrong place. He was not Wise. He has lost not only Mythal, but himself and his true nature in allowing her to lead him to horrible places even when he knew better. He has to make the world the way she wanted it not only to soothe his conscience about what happened to the elves after the Veil, but because he is still clinging to the base of his initial partnership with Mythal. Mythal wanted the world this way because she was Good, and I was helping her which made me Good, and anything I have to do to achieve this goal is Acceptable because the results are Good. He can do what they have always done together. He will give his Wisdom for what she wanted to achieve, and the people will be Protected. Their contract and their natures will be fulfilled. And maybe everything else he did can be justified, even if it cannot be forgiven.

[coffeejellou]

･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.

Romance can also be disastrous - Chapter two

Pairing: Kusuo Saiki x fem! Reader

•Previous part•

If you are homophobic dni with my series or blog!!!

What to expect: Crack/Comedy, Fluff, angst?, SLIGHT NSFW, Yumehara having a crush on Y/n, Y/n getting jealous

Things to know: "Saiki speaking telepathically to people/one person"

"Saiki speaking w/ his mouth"

Everyone thinking

(Sometimes) Narrator speaking

In high school love is always in the air, which is something Saiki considers entirely pointless. You knew this, hence was one of the reasons why you had no intention of confessing your feelings to him.

You knew he wasn't into romance at all, so why bother him and cross his boundaries? It just wasn't worth risking your friendship over. Though there was a huge part of you that was shoved deep into your head.

That part was you that just wanted to tell him already, a part that had been bottled up for 5 years already.

You sighed heavily as you entered the classroom with a box of juice in your hand. You took a deep breath, in and out, clearing your head of any thoughts of Saiki, in case he would hear.

As you walked towards your desk, you saw one of your classmates, staring intently at Saiki. Chio Yumehara. She was blushing and had a lovesick smile on her face.

You have got to be kidding me...

Your jaw dropped slightly and your hand bawled up into a fist, breaking the box of juice you had, and making it spill everywhere.

"Crap..!" You whispered to yourself, luckily no one noticed, well except Saiki and Kaidou. "Hey, Y/n, what's wrong? You seem upset." You saw Kaidou offer his handkerchief to you and you smiled, taking it.

"Hey...I'm fine don't worry! I'm just a little tired.." You muttered as you began to clean up the mess on the floor. "I see, fighting all night were you?" You chuckled and nodded. "That's right, thanks for the handkerchief again! I'll make sure to wash it and bring it back tomorrow."

"Well if you ever need to talk, I'm here. Okay?" Your eyes widened slightly, it was rare to hear Kaidou speak without any chunibuyo. But it was always nice.

He walked off while waving goodbye and you headed to your desk, which was right behind Saiki's. You saw him thinking hard about something, and so was Yumehara.

You figured she was trying to probably get closer to Saiki, seeing as you took a peek at her notebook, which had a picture drawn of Saiki. That confirmed your suspicions, she did in fact, like Saiki.

You looked down at your desk before plopping your head down onto it and closing your eyes. You really didn't have enough energy to deal with this.

★

"Hey wake up. I need your help." You looked up to see Saiki, who was towering over you. "What..?" You asked with a groggy voice. Saiki rarely asked for help, ever. But you figured it was probably something important.

★

"What do I do again?" You asked Saiki. He had led you to a random hallway, without giving you any information. "Just walk over there and turn the corner."

You sighed and started to walk, Why does he even want me to do this? What's happening..? As you reached the corner you bumped into something or someone. "Ow..!" You fell to the ground and saw papers flying everywhere.

"Oof..!" You heard someone say, looked up only to see Yumehara, who was rubbing her head in pain. "Oh my gosh! Yumehara! Are you okay? I'm so sorry!" Yumehara gazed up at you and her face fell in disbelief.

Why does she look like she's disappointed...? You thought before handing her all the papers you had picked up. "Thank you..and don't worry about it, that was my fault.." She muttered before getting up and walking away.

Saiki suddenly appeared from nowhere, "Saiki..what the hell was that about?" You glared up at him, getting up and crossing your arms.

"You know already, don't you?" You scrunched up your face in confusion. "What do you mean?" But then it hit you and you could feel your face heat up. The moment in the classroom when you were jealous of someone else having a crush on Saiki.

"Pfft...that..I dunno what..I was just..-"

"C'mon, we don't have much time.." He took your arm and dragged you back into the classroom, leaving you completely dazed and still a red mess.

★

"Oh God..she's gonna hate me for this..! You owe me big time!" You huffed out to Saiki, "I'll get you whatever you want, alright? I'm sure she'll find someone else to like soon enough."

You groaned before you saw Yumehara enter the classroom. You quickly ran away from Saiki as she walked in front of him, dropping her handkerchief in the process.

"Oh my goodness, that's really bizarre-" Before she could finish you interrupted her. "Oh Yumehara! You dropped this, here you go!" You picked the pink handkerchief off the ground and handed it to her with a smile.

You saw her glare slightly but she was also trying to keep a smile, "T-T-Thanks..." She grumbled before taking it from your hands and walking off in a pout.

Then, it was your turn to glare, but at Saiki, who looked away. Leaving you muttering angrily to yourself.

I mean I can't lie..even if I'm kinda mad at him at least doing this will probably have her not like him anymore..which is..good.. I guess.

You thought before sitting down at your seat, though it seems you forgot yet again that a certain psychic was just a couple of feet in front of you...

★

Undeterred, Chio continued on her mission to engage Saiki, however, every one of her plans failed thanks to you, without anyone telling you to do so. Since Saiki only asked you one more time to fail her plans and the rest you accidentally did on your own.

★

It's raining hard.. good thing I brought my umbrella, or else I'd be soaked. You chuckled to yourself as you put your school shoes away back into your locker and grabbed your umbrella.

You walked out the front doors of the school, only to see Yumehara, standing there on her own. You didn't think twice before going up to her.

"Yumehara! What's wrong? Are you waiting for someone?" You asked, she turned around with a small, "Huh?" Before replying properly.

"O-Oh! N-No..I forgot my umbrella and I think I'm just going to wait for the rain to die down a bit before running to my house quickly.." She smiled sheepishly at you before frowning.

"Here." You handed her your umbrella and her eyes went wide for a second, but then turned into a mess. "W-What! No way! I could never do that to you! I'll be fine I sw-" You interrupted her by taking her hand and placing the umbrella in it.

You put your school bag over your head and ran into the rain before looking back and smiling at her. "Don't worry about it! A pretty girl like you shouldn't be running home in the rain!"

She saw you run off before she held her chest, her face was pink and she had a shocked look on her face.

No one has ever done this for me before...let alone someone as nice as her..and I've never felt like his before! Especially not towards any boys! Heck, even girls......I think I just found my soulmate!!!

Saiki's face dropped, in pure shock as he stood on top of the school. He was going to use his powers to make the rain stop, so Yumehara wouldn't try to share his umbrella with her. But you came along and made her fall in love with you instead.

He was not expecting that...

★

The rain stopped as you were running and you came to a halt, catching your breath as you did. "Dammit..I'm definitely going to get a cold tomorrow...!"

You then felt a warm hand on your shoulder and you were suddenly in your room. "W-What the..?!"

"Calm down, it's just me." A familiar voice said behind you. Stepping back, you looked to see the pink-haired boy himself. "First off, why were you following me, second of all, why did you telepor-" You interrupted yourself by sneezing loudly and sniffling, wiping boogers off your nose with your sleeve.

"That's why, you're going to get sick if you don't shower right now."

"Oh, who made you the boss of me, huh? I can shower when I wa-" Again you were interrupted but this time by Saiki teleporting you to your bathroom. "Good grief..stop your whining and just shower."

He closed the door behind him, leaving you in your bathroom. You groaned but listened anyway and started undressing.

Meanwhile, Saiki was in your living room, debating on telling you about Yumehara's feelings towards you. He feels it's important to tell you but then again, this was something Yumehara probably didn't want you to know.

In the end, he sighed and decided it was best if you didn't know, or to let Yumehara tell you herself...

You were in your room, petting your cat and scrolling mindlessly on your phone when it started to buzz. You saw Saiki calling you, it was a very rare occurrence when he did because you actually got to hear his voice and he couldn't read your thoughts most times.

You'd be lying if you said you didn't sit up immediately and start to fumble with your phone as if you were playing hot potato. Your heart was starting to beat faster and your hands were starting to sweat too.

But, a deep breath in and a deep breath out helped a little before you answered the phone, "H-Hey Saiki..whatcha need..?" You answered timidly.

"I know I've been asking you for a lot of favors but this will be the last one in a while.."

For a while you didn't respond, shocked to hear how much Saiki's voice changed over the years. The last time you heard him actually talk was in middle school. And then he decided it was best to just not talk with his voice at all, using telepathy to talk to everyone now.

You slipped out of your trance after your cat meowed to you, calling your attention back. "H-Huh? O-Oh um sure whatever you need I don't mind doing favors for you y'know? It doesn't bother me-"

"Well it bothers me, anyway look, Nendou asked me, well no, my mom forced me to go to the beach with him, and I don't want to stay with just him and Kaidou."

"Right, and you want me to come along with you? Sure, I don't have anything planned. But I'm kind of surprised, aren't I just another nuisance, as you'd put it?" There was teasing behind your tone, and you chuckled slightly.

But despite your laughing, you couldn't stop thinking about his damn voice. How deep it has gotten, it was so much different from what you usually hear.

Your mind was wandering off into more about his voice..the things he could get you to do with just a couple of little words out of his mouth. God..what would he sound like during s-

"You definitely are one but it'll be less annoying with you there to get me away from all the other nuisances."

"Fine, I'll go. It's not like it won't be fun. Let me just get ready and I'll meet you guys there, okay?"

"All right, also, stop thinking lewd things about my voice. Or else I'm never using it again."

With that, he hung up, and you were left dumbfounded. You thought he couldn't read your thoughts right now, but then again your houses weren't that far away from each other.

It was honestly more embarrassing that he caught you thinking things like that...You were too distracted in the conversation to stop yourself from thinking whatever you wanted.

You hid your face your hands in embarrassment, and wanted to just disappear. But the beach awaited you.

★

"Hey Saiki.." You muttered as you came up behind him. The look on your face said you didn't want to be here right now. And honestly so did your thoughts.

I can't even look at him.. I mean he probably doesn't care but I overstepped! He doesn't like nor care for any sort of love. Stupid thoughts! Ruining everything..I should've just faked sick..it would've been believable too since I ran in the rain yesterday..now I gotta deal with the embarrassment of th-

"Hey, L/n! Check out Kaidou, he can't swim! Can you believe it? C'mon tell L/n how afraid you are of the water!" Nendou said, laughing and teasing Kaidou.

You groaned slightly and sighed. You were still in your regular outfit, your swimsuit under. You were honestly a bit insecure about being so naked. It wasn't like your swimsuit showed much skin but the last time you went to the beach was when you were around 12.

"N-No..! That's not true! I know how to swim you jerk..! I-Im not afraid of the water..!!!" Kaidou walked up to the ocean and stepped slightly into the water, before you were suddenly behind him and pushed him in.

To your surprise, he was..kind of drowning? Not really, he sure did act like he was though. He was barely an inch into the water. But flailing his arms and legs around, screaming and yelling in a high-pitched voice.

"Drowning in inch-deep water isn't easy..." Saiki said to you, you turned to him before walking off. "I'm going to change, be right back.."

Saiki looked at your leave, and to be honest, he felt kind of bad, for invading your privacy during the phone call.

It's not like it bothered him you thought things like that, he knew you liked him and you guys were both in high school, hormones everywhere, so, he didn't care. Sure it was surprising when he heard you think things like that about him here and there, but as said before, it doesn't bother him. Mostly because you try to not think of those things about him, you feel extremely guilty about it and he knows that.

★

You looked at yourself in the mirror and felt like throwing up, but you decided to suck it up and go out anyway. What else were you going to do? Not go out?

You sighed heavily and walked out, wearing your bathing suit, making your way to where everyone else was, and it looked like Hairo had joined all of you.

Looking around you saw Nendou trying to talk to some girls, Kaidou was surrounded by girls, who were saying how cute he was and touching his spikey hair, and Hairo saved Kaidou after Nendou buried him in the sand.

As for Saiki, he was nowhere to be found. "Hey guys, where's Saiki?" You asked all three of them. "Dunno, I think he went to the bathroom or something," Nendou replied.

You nodded and sat on the towel he was on before. Everything was peaceful for a moment before you heard screaming from a girl, you looked over to see her drowning..?!

"Hey hold on a sec! That girl's drowning!" You yelled out and ran off to go save her. Nendou was already on his way, but you decided to go anyway, just in case.

"Kaidou, I'll go rescue her and you go get Hairo!" He yelled out, but Kaidou was next to him, swimming just fine. "oh so you can swim..!" He added but Kaidou didn't realize he was swimming until Nendou pointed it out, leaving him to stop and start to sink into the water.

Now Nendou was carrying Kaidou, while also swimming towards the girl. "Nendou! Don't worry about her I got it! Just take care of Shun..!" He nodded before you got to the girl, who was rapidly sinking. You grabbed her arm and put her on your back.

She was a lot lighter than you expected and as you quickly swam to shore you realized why. Kusuo! Of course..! I have to thank him for this later...

★

The sun set quickly and the girl was now well and alive, "Thank you for saving my life. I appreciate it, and hey, thank you too for trying, sorry I joked about how ugly your face is..." You smiled and Nendou nodded.

★

You smiled as you walked next to Saiki, along with Kaidou and Nendou. "I'm glad you didn't ask for her number in return for trying to save her life," Kaidou said to Nendou, you nodded in agreement.

"Hm, I try to be a gentleman, but if that hottie fell in love with me I'm not gonna try and turn her down" He smirked, you heard Kaidou whisper something and Nendou got all mad.

But you weren't really paying attention, your attention was more focused on the beautiful sunset that was in front of you.

"You aren't mad?" Saiki asked you, which caused your mind to lose its train of thought. Huh? What are you talking about?

"Nendou basically got all the credit for just trying to save her, but you actually did save her."

Oh, that. No, it doesn't bother me at all, she's safe and that's what matters, and thank you for helping too, without you, she would've died.

He nodded in return, "Oh right...by the way, I'm sorry for invading your space earlier, I can't help what I hear but I shouldn't have brought it up. I just want you to know, it doesn't bother me..so don't feel like you need to shove your thoughts deep into yourself..."

You stopped and he saw your eyes go wide and your face went red, you were muttering out nonsense that he couldn't understand.

Good grief..I should've just kept that to myself...

It was very rare for you not to walk with Saiki to school, but you had woken up way too late and by the time you did, you figured Saiki was already at school.

But as you ran past Saiki's house, you caught a glimpse of pink through the corner of your eye and immediately stopped.

"...Saiki..? Why are you-"

"Hurry up, we're already late enough." You blinked in surprise for a moment before nodding and walking along with him.

Luckily his house and the school were only about a 5-minute walking distance so it wouldn't take you guys long to get there.

As you walked quickly next to each other, you couldn't help but think why he would wait.. you've never woken up late for school, so you had never been in this situation before.

Never in a million years would you think that Saiki would wait to walk with you, even if you two were very close.

"I waited for you because my mom would be a pain if I didn't. Can you think a little quieter now?"

You jolted up a bit in surprise but sighed, "What's got your panties in a bunch?" Yes, Kusuo always did seem angry or annoyed but usually, he wasn't. Today it was different though, it looked like he was genuinely mad.

He didn't respond though and just continued to glare, not even sparing you a glance. "Fine, don't tell me. Just don't be rude to anyone else who cares about you."

He finally looked at you, with a bit of a shocked look. But you were already walking ahead, leaving him.

★

You walked into the classroom alone, as Saiki trailed behind. You sat down at your seat with a sigh, hoping to relax at least a little bit before class began.

But of course, that wasn't the case. You heard loud yelling coming from across the classroom, looking up, you saw it was a bunch of boys panicking while surrounding Teruhashi.

"You've got a crush on someone?!"

"Teruhashi is this a joke?"

"Is it one of us?"

Teruhashi looked extremely nervous, trying to calm all the boys down, (although she was failing miserably). "It's someone I ran into over vacation..."

You felt yourself tense up at that, now it was your turn to be annoyed. Every single time Teruhashi even mentioned liking Saiki you felt all your thoughts turn into jealousy.

You tried not to be because honestly, you were never really a jealous person. You felt there was no reason to be, it only caused problems after all.

But it was so hard trying not to be mad when goddam Teruhashi liked Saiki, the most perfect, pretty, loved, girl there was in the whole universe.

With Yumehara liking Saiki you were jealous, sure. But you didn't hate her, unlike the girl who was right across from you.

You saw her staring at Saiki and you stood up, about to leave to compose yourself, before Teruhashi started up again

"It was the sixth of August when I first fell in love with him.." She closed her eyes and smiled as she spoke, raising a finger.

Yeah, and I've been in love with him for years, try it and come tell me it's all rainbows and sunshine, Teruhashi.

"I remember seeing you that day too, and the guy you were talking with..was Nendou!!" Someone chimed in, you were confused for a second before realizing she probably spoke to him after you had left her.

"YOU ARE WAY OFF IDIOT!" She yelled out, causing the group of guys to jump in fear. It was a surprise to everyone, even to you.

But Saiki had told you what Teruhashi is really like, hence the reason he doesn't like her. So was it really a surprise she burst out like that?

She quickly got back to her persona and started acting all sweet again, lying and telling the guys it was some Russian exchange student.

You groaned slightly in frustration before walking out of the classroom. It was best for yourself if you got out of that room.

★

"Hey, Y/n!" You heard someone call out to you, you were standing in front of a vending machine that was located near your classroom, this is where you usually went when you needed a drink to calm you down.

"Oh Shun, what's up?" You smiled softly as he ran up to you. "Look, I know this is out of the blue, but will you come with us to spy on Nendou?"

"Huh? Spy on Nendou? Also, what do you mean by 'us'?" He pointed behind him and that's when you saw Saiki.

Your face fell in slight annoyance but you decided to keep talking to them instead of making up some lame excuse.

"Nendou's been acting weird today, don't you think? He'd usually be asking us to go eat ramen with him or do something after school. But he's been real quiet."

You thought for a moment before nodding in agreement, "Now that you mention it, yeah he has been acting strange..alright I'll go with you guys."

Kaidou smirked, before walking away. "Right after school you two! Don't forget!" You smiled before turning back to Saiki. Truth be told, you were trying to figure out if he was still mad. All of a sudden, you remembered something.

You took one of his hands, it startled him slightly but he didn't pull away. You revealed your other hand, which was behind your back, bawled into a fist, and handed him a handful of something.

You took your hands away from his and he stared down at what you gave him, a small bundle of mini coffee jellies, there were about 4 of them.

"Here, take these and stop pouting. If you ever want to talk, I'm here." You mumbled out, he could see the faint blush on your cheeks and he could definitely hear your loud thoughts.

Which consisted of rambling and screaming, he wished he could turn off his telepathy at that moment. But then again, when doesn't he want that?

"Thanks..I really do owe you." Saiki still had to repay the favor you did for ruining Yumehara's plans, going with him to the beach, and now this.

He absolutely hated being in debt to someone, it didn't matter who, he hated it. And you knew this, so you always tried to reassure him. "Don't worry about it, it's no big deal to me. And if you really want to repay me that badly, I'll come up with something. But only if you really want me to."

"Yeah, please do. It's going to bother me, even more than Nendou does. Speaking of, we should probably head back to class."

You nodded in agreement before slightly smirking at him."What now?"

"Nothing. Just thinking about how much of a softie you are."

★

"His house isn't this way....he's got something going on.." Kaidou whispered to you and Saiki, as you all hid behind a wall.

As planned earlier, you were all trailing Nendou. Kaidou was in some weird disguise, on the other hand, you were in your regular school uniform, and so was Saiki.

"Why are you so excited by this?" Saiki asked him, but instead of responding he struck a weird pose.

"And what's with the outfit? It serves no purpose other than sticking out." You added, though usually you weren't one to judge Kaidou's actions, the disguise seemed a bit much.

"Shut up you two! Hey wait...what's he looking at?" You looked to see him smiling at a little girl with her dad. His smile was awful, scary in fact. He looked like a weirdo.

"Creepy!"

You all said. "I don't think that thinking the same thing is good.." You mumbled, Saiki nodded.

"Nendou has a thing for little girls?!" Kaidou asked you both, his face looked creeped out and worried. "Doesn't look good...we should probably call the police.."

"Hey, check it out, he's going into a store." You pointed at him, it was strange so it interested all of you.

Nendou went in and very quickly came back with a bouquet of sunflowers.

"Looks like a flower boutique, don't tell me he's got a girl-" Kaidou was interrupted by you and Saiki.

"No not Nendou.."

"Definitely not..."

Nendou started to walk off, all of you following him as he did. He stopped and smiled at another little girl, who was smiling with her father.

"Another one?!"

"That's just gross.." Kaidou muttered under his breath, honestly you didn't want to believe this situation. It's just not like Nendou.

"We'll confirm it after we call the police."

"Hey hold on, I feel like we need more proof, I mean c'mon, lots of people like sunflowers, and it's natural to smile when you see a cute little kid right?" You argued, it really didn't seem like Nendou to be a creep.

Kaidou thought for a moment before agreeing, "Y/n's right, all that is perfectly normal, we can't just stop there without any more evidence!"

"Good point, let's not be rash.."

★

After following him for a little while longer he went into another shop, "Where's he headed no-"

Kaidou suddenly interrupted you as he looked up at the sign of the store, a cake shop.

"CAKES..?! WOMEN AND CHILDREN CAN'T RESIST SWEET TREATS! SO WHEN YOU COMBINE A WOMAN AND A CHILD YOU GET A LITTLE GIRL!!" He yelled out, pointing to the store and looking back at both you and Saiki.

"Now you're jumping to conclusions.." Saiki said trying to stop Kaidou. But it didn't work, he kept going on and on.

"Kaidou-"

"HAVE YOU EVER SEEN NENDOU EAT THAT? OR LIKE FLOWERS! IT WAS ALL MEANT TO BE GIVEN TO SOMEONE BUT HE HAS NO GIRLFRIEND TO GIVE THEM TO!!!"

Jesus, make him stop Saiki..

"If I could, I would've already. Trust me"

You sighed in frustration, all this kind of seemed pointless now that you were actually thinking about it. Sure, it was a little creepy, but you were sure there was a reasonable explanation.

Kaidou went on about how Nendou was using the cake and flowers as bait to try and get little girls, but the more he talked the more it sounded like an unreasonable theory.

Nendou came out of the cake shop, holding a small pink box.

"Bummer..they were all out of shortcake..oh well. It's not like anyone will ever eat this.." You all heard him say, he smirked and chuckled as if he was some cartoon villain. It creeped all of you out and made Kaidou freak out even more.

"If it's not for eating it must be bait!" He yelled out and ran off to Nendou. "NENDOU!!!" Nendou turned around in confusion, all he saw was Kaidou running to him at full speed. Everyone was staring.

"YOU'RE SECRETS OUT!! HOW DARE YOU HURT LITTLE KIDS??!!! YOU MONSTER!!" He started punching him, but it sounded like little squeaky balls were hitting Nendou instead. It was no secret that Kaidou wasn't strong but this was surprising to you and Saiki.

"Is that what his punches sound like?"

"Wait..what secret? Do you mean my dad?" Kaidou stopped and you facepalmed. It went quiet for a while, all of you in a bit of shock, Saiki and you weren't as shocked as Kaidou though.

★

"He's dead?" Kaidou asked as all of you stood in front of Nendou's dad's grave. By now the sun had set and there was no one around.

"I visit him on the anniversary of his bus accident," Nendou explained, you looked down at the grave again, and then back at everyone else.

I knew it wasn't something bad. Nendou is genuinely a nice guy, he wouldn't do anything creepy. He definitely needs to work on his smile though...

"But the flowers and the cake?" Kaidou mumbled out, it was clear he was kind of sad that all his sneaking around was really for nothing.

"Respectful offerings to the dead! It's normal to bring cakes and flowers to a family grave!" Nendou held up the box of cake and smiled.

"To think Nendou's lecturing us on normal.." You heard Saiki's voice but he quickly turned it off once he realized he was still talking to you telepathically.

What's the harm in showing what you're thinking? That's not fair y'know?. You know every little thing I think but when it comes to your thoughts I can't know even a little.

"Yes because they're my thoughts, also how many times do I have to tell you I can't turn off these powers.."

You pouted slightly but sighed and let it go. He was right after all. Like always.

"When did your dad die, Nendou?" Kaidou asked, snapping you out of your thoughts.

"Well, it was before I was born. He died trying to save a little girl who'd run in front of a bus..huh maybe that means he was into little girls.." You cringed at the last part, and so did everyone else.

"Uh..hope not.." Kaidou said, chuckling awkwardly. "That's a dark joke.."

"So if he died before you were born, he must've been pretty young.."

"He was only 18 or 19 years old, here look! I got his picture!"

"Hey, this is just a picture of you!"

"Nah it's him! My mom says I look more like him each year! Weird..!"

"You don't look like him you're, the same!"

Kaidou and Nendou talked and argued a little back and forth. Saiki stayed quiet but you chuckled a little as you heard their bickering.

They really do look alike, it's kinda scary that they look almost like twins. But Nendou has a scar over his left eye, and his dad has over his right. That's a scary thought on its own since they can only be told apart because of one thing. Right, Saiki?

You looked over and saw him up at Nendou's dad's grave, he looked mortified, extremely mortified for that matter. "Hey guys, wanna go get some ramen!?" Nendou called out to you two as he and Kaidou were already walking off.

"Saiki..? What are you looking at?" You asked in a bit of a shaky voice, you weren't scared, you were worried. Seeing Saiki shocked or scared was something you never saw. Ever.

★

Walking with Saiki alone almost always consisted of awkward silence. But it was different today, Saiki was thinking, and hard. It was obvious, he had his hand on his chin and everything. You'd laugh if you weren't so spooked.

"So are you gonna tell me what you saw..?" As he was about to answer, you reached his house and he saw a piece of mail sticking out.

"Mail?" He took the envelope and it was addressed to him. "What is it?" You peeked over his shoulder and your eyes widened as you read the letter.

"To Mr. Kusuo Saiki, I am someone who knows you're a psychic."

"......."

"What...."

Next part -> Romance can also be disastrous - Chapter 3 •Coming soon..•

Summary: You and Saiki figure out who sent the letter, and it appears it's some kind of psychic who can see ghosts? You're happy to meet another psychic but Saiki is the opposite. Maybe he's thinking something weird? Who knows. Later, Saiki discovers a cockroach in his house and freaks out, but luckily you come over to save the day..with your cat! But that's not all, Yumehara apparently got a boyfriend to try and get over you, and for some reason, Saiki helps..could he be jealous?

A/N: OH MY GOSH I'M SO SORRY THIS TOOK OUT LONGER THAN I SAID IT WOULD, LIFE THREW A BUNCH OF CURVE BALLS MY WAY AS SOON AS I PUBLISHED THE FIRST CHAPTER. SO SORRY AGAIN FOR THE DELAY, BUT I HOPE YOU LIKED THIS CHAPTER! THANK YOU ALL FOR THE SUPPORT😭💗

[saphireeyes9875]

You know, I love all the analyses the fandom is making about the Pristine Cut and Slay the Princess in general, but I haven't seen a lot of people talk about the nature of the Construct. Sure, we all know that the Narrator created it somehow to contain both the Long Quiet and the Shifting Mound, but the actual “fabric” of the Construct is these two gods.  An attentive eye might catch very early in a playthrough that the trees, the sky, the ground - they’re all shades of dark grey and black, with a feathery texture that is unquestionably Quiet. The new Apotheosis showcases this very well. 

But the cabin is different. It’s all light grey and white - Shifty’s colors. I believe that the most notable way this is shown is during our encounters with Shifty’s incomplete form. When we are “at the cabin”, all we can see is her mass of hands and the vessel we brought her - which implies that Shifty is the cabin itself.

And that’s fascinating to me, because the cabin is also, by the Narrator’s design, her own prison. Just as he establishes in his opening monologue that we are on a path in the woods, he also cleverly says that the Princess is within that cabin, and that if she escapes it, the world ends. And, except in the Wild, none of these two statements are ever refuted by either the Hero or the Princess, because to do so is to unravel the very fabric of their false reality.

So even though it seems like the cabin should bend to the Princess’ will, being quite literally her domain, it remains her prison in every other route.

In many Chapter 2’s, but especially in the Nightmare and the Beast, the Princess emphasizes the fact that the cabin will not let her leave - very ironic, since we’ve just seen how the interior of the cabin has been completely reshaped by the Princess’ influence.

I love this line from the Beast, because you can so clearly see how the Narrator’s beliefs have bled through the Construct. I was reminded of it the first time I played through the Princess and the Dragon, because the repetition of “this is what you deserve”, as other people pointed out, seems very much like something the Narrator would tell her.

Speaking of the Princess and the Dragon, I've recently noticed a very interesting line in the lead-up to this chapter! Once Spectre possesses you and you decide to slay her, the Narrator says this:

Here, our very flesh imprisons the Princess in the same way the Narrator imprisoned the Shifting Mound - the cabin - within the Construct - which is, of course, the Long Quiet itself. I almost can't believe the Narrator would make such a direct comparison like this, but I suppose that in this route we never come to question our surroundings like in the Wild.

Notably, however, the Princess can escape the cabin when you are accompanying her. On a meta-narrative level, this makes complete sense: the characters can only escape the cycle of violence they are trapped in when they work together. But within the narrative of the game, this doesn’t seem to fit with the rest of the Construct’s rules. The Narrator would never allow such a thing if he could help it, so this must be Shifty’s influence coming through, right?

And this reminds me of another two routes, the ones I’ve seen people describe as the most genre-savvy ones: the Damsel and the Tower.

If in Chapter 1, you don't question how you should get her out of her chains, in this variation of the Damsel route the Voice of the Hero will ask why the Princess hasn’t escaped already if her shackle is so loose, and Smitten replies with this line: “we’ve yet to present her with her freedom”.

On a surface level, this seems like a pretty arrogant, even demeaning line, a trend in this chapter that robs the Damsel of her agency. On a meta-narrative level, this is commenting on how the “damsel in distress” archetype is often a shell of a character that simply exists to reward the “hero”. But I also think this hints at how the Princess, either subconsciously or by the Narrator’s influence, doesn’t believe that it’s possible for her to escape alone - and therefore, she can’t.

Tower, arguably the vessel most aware of the extent of her powers, is even clearer when she tells us that she could easily break her chains and escape the cabin - and she does so in the Apotheosis - but that’s not the story she wants to tell. As much as they yearn for freedom, all the Princesses, by their very nature as beings of perception, want to be perceived, to connect with someone… especially with the Hero, of course.

(this line makes me go feral every time btw, it's so simple and yet so effective -)

Anyway, this was a very long winded way of saying that the Narrator somehow managed to make the Shifting Mound’s “body” into her own prison (which is insane if you think about it) and she can only be freed with the Long Quiet’s help. I’m not sure if this is like, super obvious, but I still wanted to talk about it, soooo if anyone wants to add to this, I'd love to discuss more!

(Edit 11/01/25: Added a missing Damsel screenshot with the help of @quicksilversnails, and rambled a bit about the lead-up to the Princess and the Dragon.)

[whousestypewriters]

──── ୨ৎ IM A FAN — GRAYSON HAWTHORNE + READER ‧₊˚

a/n: hi lovelies! look its my first smau/fic (on this acc) and since i love making them here we are :))) hope you enjoy <3 sorry if this is too long btw. i need a grayson guys... maybe a possible series?!?!

grayson hawthorne was bored okay? he was bored, and for a man like him to be bored literally nothing must be happening. so how i hear you ask did he end up on the youtube page of a very popular booktuber? he blames xander, for watching her on the tv curled up with max earlier today. something about you.. intrigued him.

he stared at the account for the longest time before finally, finally clicking on your latest video about your fall tbr. and once he heard your voice it was like he was in a trance. the calmness of the video, your narration and the way you spoke to the viewers made him feel as if he was sitting there next to you on your bed.

he never watched this type of thing. he never really watched stuff at all. but suddenly here he was binge watching every single one of your videos. it was as if he had no control over himself and he just wanted to continue to watch them for the rest of the day.

by the time he had realised how late it was, it was dark out and the time read 6:43am. it must've been the delusion that made him type out the comment, or the fact that he hadn't actually slept yet. but either way he made a comment and that, that was the beginning of the start of everything.

────

you screamed. you actually screamed when you saw the comment on you post. grayson hawthorne??? the grayson hawthorne had watched your video? holy mother of-

the hawthorne's were notorious, all of them were, but grayson, he had the largest fanbase. the most obsessive one. the one with the girls that go crazy over anything and everything about him. its insane to think that he had commented on your video.

you thought it might've been just a once off. y'know he was just scrolling on youtube - yeah right thats not believable at all - and he happened to stumble across your video?

or maybe it was xander, he's followed you for a while actually, occasionally commenting and flirting with max in the comments. maybe he put grayson up to it. a once off.

so grayson commenting on your video really meant nothing - lies it meant everything - nothing, it meant nothing. who even cares? you definitely don't.

────

yn.books

liked by alya.green, maxine.liu.loo graysonhawthorne and 346, 282 others

yn.books what are you reading right now? (psst the book of the month is divine rivals by rebecca ross!)

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user1 the book queen posted!!!

user2 i bought divine rivals yesterday can't wait until my copy comes!!

user3 i died when i read the end 😭 roman and iris my babies

user4 OH OH OH GRAYSON HAWTHORNE IN THE LIKES??????

user5 RIGHT AND AFTER HE COMMENTED ON HER VIDEO A FEW WEEKS AGO

graysonhawthorne would you recommend divine rivals?

yn.books yes 100% its such a lovely read i definitely recommend you read it!

user6 GRAYSON??????????? GRAYSON??????

user7 GRAYSON HAWTHORNE WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?????

────

"you bitch!" your best friend's voice fills your apartment as she rushes inside and stops dead in the living room. "why am i only now just finding out that grayson hawthorne comment on your posts?"

the murderous look on her face has you siting up quickly putting your book down on the couch. "...because i didn't tell you?"

"its the grayson hawthorne. i cannot believe that grayson hawthorne is commenting on your posts!" alya's harsh look turns gleeful as she rushes towards you and jumps on the couch - careful not to land on your book - and sidle up next to you to gossip.

"so why do we think he's interested in you all of a sudden?"

"he's not interested in me, alys."

"nope, he commented on your insta and your youtube, you're one step away from a marriage proposal now- hey, what type of wedding do you want?"

"we don't know, it could be xander's doing or even max's."

"nope you're gonna have kids together i can feel it."

"alya green-"

"OH MY GOD!!!!" she screeches jumping up and down. "OH MY GOD!!"

"WHAT? WHAT? WHAT?" you shriek back.

"LOOK!" she's grins shoving her phone into your hand

────

graysonhawthorne

liked by thehawthorneheiress, thexanderhawthorne ticking.time.bomb and 3, 622, 484 others

graysonhawthorne 🏛 💭 📖

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user1 OOHHHHHHHHHHH

user2 im giggling so hard rn i love this man

ticking.time.bomb why the sudden interest in reading gray?? 🤨 i saw the divine rivals copy in your bag

thexanderhawthorne THIS IS WHY HE HAD THAT BOOK?? gray are you trying to steal my book girl?

maxine.liu.loo excuse me she's my book girlie. not yours i just let you borrow her

user3 oh he's obsessed

user4 wish that was me fr

user5 i want himmmm

user6 the book girlies and the grayson girlies really won today

────

"grayson hawthorne," the sound of jameson's voice was never welcome in grayson's bedroom and clearly by the tone of his voice; this wasn't going to be good.

"when were you going to tell me that you picked up a fictional book? he paused. "even more so, when were you going to tell me that you got said fictional book from a 'book queen' of youtube."

grayson paused his reading and put down his copy of divine rivals, to look at a smirking jameson at his doorway.

"leave, jameson."

"okay gray, but let me know how your book goes, i hear it has a really shocking ending," jamie smiles and slowly walks away, calling out to xander to talk about books.

okay maybe his actions were a little out of character, but he wanted to understand what you were going to say in the next video. he wanted to be in the loop, to undertand what you were talking about.

he wanted to have something to talk to you about.

𐔌 . ⋮ 🏷️ tags .ᐟ ֹ ₊ ꒱

@arqbella, @midiosaamor, @maybxlle @reminiscentreader, @ecliphttlunar,

@tornqdowarnings, @catapparently, @zenikswaffleshop, @off-to-th-r4aces, @emila07

[salty-an-disco]

you know…… there's an argument to be made to getting Contrarian in Nightmare instead of Paranoid. Like– you go for a third option neither the narrator or princess want, but you double down on anyway. In the original Nightmare, that was because you couldn't trust neither princess or narrator, but what if you started doubling down specifically because neither of them agreed with you?

That was how I fell into the swap au trap, with something I'm calling 'A Shift in Perspective' (or 'SiP AU' for short), where the swaps are all decided by whether or not I can find a good argument to why you should get a different voice in the game's routes. Here's the conclusions I reached:

Nightmare – Contrarian: like I already said in the example above, neither princess nor Narrator liked your idea and so you decided to double down on it to the detriment of everyone involved. Princess still feels abandoned by you, but she's also angry to how flippantly you taking this ("You think this is game? OK, then, why don't we play.").

I want to lean more into Nightmare's playfulness here, with some jigsaw and carnival themes. The way to the basement is a jolly ride that take you down to her lair with cheery-creepy music as you pass through exaggerated smiling and crying faces. Contrarian is still trying to make light of the situation, though there's a noticeable undercurrent of fear in his tone. Nightmare doesn't shut down your organs here.

Spectre – Opportunist: You did the job exactly as asked specifically to get that reward, but it turned out it was a bust, so you kill yourself and come back to the cabin in hopes the princess has a better option for you. In this read of the route, you take more of a 'hitman' role, being more focused on what you can get out of this situation as opposed to the act of killing the princess. Spectre doesn't change much, though her cabin has a more sterile feeling to it as opposed to old and abandoned. She won't be happy to learn you killed her just to get a reward, but is willing to hear you out. Now you just gotta negotiate your way out of this situation and make sure not to accidentally get yourself killed by saying the wrong thing!! (don't have many clear visuals for this one, more just a Vibe)

Prisoner – Cold: You completely ignored all of Narrator's warnings and advice. It didn't sound right to you, anyway, so you went straight for the princess, and it immediately became clear who you were more willing to hear out. When she kills you, you accept it without complaint; it's only fair, there was no other way for her to defend herself. If Cold is a steel-weapon in the canon game, here, he is a shield; willing to take on any hit if it means getting his way, and making sure the princess stays alive. In the basement (a stone cold prison with clear, (and very breakable), chains around the princess' wrists and neck). Prisoner smiles when you appear, like she's in on a joke, but doesn't say much. Cold still won't urge you in any particular direction; suggesting you can explore, examine the place, talk to the princess all you want– but in the end, you still have to make a choice. And it's a easy, no?

Wanna lean into the fact Cold is prolly the closest voice to Quiet's true nature here, and the fact that despite lookin' the most human, Prisoner is still the one you can get free by simply letting change happen around her; neither of you may know why, but you two intrinsically trust each other

Damsel – Stubborn: You very insistently didn't get the knife, didn't abide by Narrator's advice to not talk to the princess, resisted when he tried to force your hand, and made sure she would be the one to kill you. (Imagine Narrator saying, "A stubborn bastard, aren't you?" right before you die). There's no doubt now. Narrator is a villain who, for some reason, wants to make sure the princess dies. You won't let that happen.

This is the one where we focus more on the 'distress' part of Damsel in Distress. There'll be lots of traps and trials trying to attack her once you save the princess from the chains, and it's your job to make sure she gets out of there unscathed. Something of a scourt mission. Stubborn's fighting instincts here are directed to the threats around the princess instead of her; much like Cold, he's more of a shield than a weapon in this version.

Beast – Broken: You got absolutely wrecked by the princess like you were no more than a mouse against a lion. What hope can you have to survive in this situation? It's simply nature; you should just lay down and let it take its course. The basement here is much more open, and with an arid feel to it; more of a savana than a jungle. The princess lies in plain view, a mighty Beast that you cannot hope to face against. You have to fight against your own Broken spirit as well as this apex predator to hope you can have any chance of survival.

Witch – Paranoid: The moment you saw the princess chew her own arm, you knew you made the wrong choice. She's clearly not someone that should be trusted, attacking was the only option you had!! The Princess attacks back in surprise, immediately hardening her stance once she realizes what you did. The two of you die, and the way she clawed and bit at you only cements in your head that she's a tricky monster who cannot be trusted.

There is more than one entrance to the basement this time, and no matter which one you take, you'll end up in a labyrinth of roots and vines full of tricks and traps the princess laid out for you. You never see her clearly, but her cackling laughter follows you all the way. Paranoid will warn you of any trap before you can fall for them, and listening to her is the best way to avoid getting caught; though some of the things she perceives as a trap might not actually be there– the roots almost seem to move imperceptibly, and you're sure there eyes following you. Are they really there, or are they imagined? You'll find Witch right at the center of the maze, where you can either fight her or try to talk things out. Though none of these choices will really help you escape. You're already trapped.

Wanna lean into the cyclical feel of both Witch and Nightmare here, with your distrust/fear is what keeps cementing this cycle of violence you're both stuck on.

Tower – Smitten: (women that can kill you by stepping on your throat are kinda ho– [gets shot]) Right before you die, you see the situation for what it is. You never should've wielded that knife against her, she's a light that can't be snuffed out, don't you see? With that understanding is that you die. There are bells echoing in the distance when you enter the cabin, a beautiful place with ornamented windows and mobilia; really leaning into that church symbolism here. Tower is sitting as she waits for you with a soft smile on her face. Her voice is honey, and what she offers you is benevelonce and a place at her side, all you have to do is pledge yourself to her.

Instead of an imposing and impossible figure, Tower is more of the 'benevelont god' figure here. Still very much wants you to be under her control, but won't rush or press that offer upon you (she knows you'll accept it one way or the other anyway). Smitten is the only one forcing control of your body here, wanting to rush to her and kneel at her feet; you can fight him, or you can let him steal all the choices from you.

Adversary – Hunted: You tried to go for a killing blow, but you gave her too much time to prepare herself and now you're also at the receiving ending of her blows. Well, kill or be killed; you're both just animals trying to survive. The cave you find yourself in once inside the cabin has more of a humid air to it, and at the bottom, you find the Princess; Adversary has more of a scaled lizard aesthetic to her, and is eager to fight for her life again with you.

Hunted isn't as excited about fighting as Stubborn is in canon, but is very much willing to prove you can overcome this obstacle. Doesn't matter how many tries it takes.

Stranger – Cheated: "What the fuck do you mean the universe itself will warp into itself to keep you from leaving?!? That's absolutely bullshit!!"

That's all the argument I have for this one. Stranger themselves doesn't change much, the main difference is Cheated's reaction and how he goes about treating a world where you're choices doesn't seem to matter anyway.

Razor – Skeptic: There must be a reason you couldn't kill her before, and if you find the answer, you can make sure you kill her for good. You see this mission as a puzzlebox that needs to be solved if you want to slay the princess. The cabin is basically a escape room from the moment you step in, and will not let you progress unless you solve it. Each wrong answer slices you in half and gets you a new voice. New perspectives to see this rubix cube from!!

At this point, you overcomplicated this whole thing so much, it's all just a tangle of webs and knots with no rhyme or reason, with you and the princess (who's at this point, just a mess of wires and steel) stuck right in the middle. The only way to escape is shutting down all your thoughts and cutting through the knots with her.

+ some doodles I did for this concept

[ladykailitha]

Amnesia AU

This is the story from this post! No monster AU

~

It’s Eddie’s senior year. His last year of high school (he hopes) and it’s been pretty shit. He’s lost two of the members of his band, his bassist and his drummer. The former because his parents had the big brained idea to move in his senior year. The other because she got a boyfriend.

It’s a cold, rainy, and dark as pitch night and Wayne’s off on the swing shift. He’s trying to decide which wall to put his head through from boredom when there is a knock on his door.

Eddie frowns and gets up. He didn’t hear a car, but with the rain beating on the metal roof, it’s possible he just didn’t hear it.

He opens it to an absolutely soaked to the skin Steve Harrington. He looks like a kicked puppy. Eddie peers into the gloom but doesn’t see any of the other boy’s cronies so he says, “Not selling today, Harrington.”

Steve shakes his head. “No, that’s not why I’m here. I’m–” thunder drowns out the rest of his words.

“Jesus fuck!” Eddie curses. “You should come in before you drown out there.”

But Steve shakes his head. “I just want to say that I have a crush on you and I really, really like you.”

Eddie stares at him for a moment and what he says next will haunt him for a very long time. “Thanks, I guess. But I really don’t swing that way.”

*narrator voice: he did in fact swing that way, he just didn’t know it yet*

Steve already sad face falls further. “I should leave.”

“You don’t want to come in, man,” Eddie huffs, “at least stay in your car until this blows over. It’s not safe out there.”

Steve raises his head. “Oh I didn’t bring my car.”

Eddie blue screens. “Loch Nora ain’t anywhere near Forest Hills.”

“It is if you don’t use the roads.”

And with that very enigmatic sentence Steve turns on his heel and slinks off into the dark.

Eddie tries calling out to him, but by the time he jams his feet into his boots and hauls on his jacket, Steve is long gone.

When Wayne comes home, Eddie asks if he saw someone walking on the side of the road, but Wayne says no.

As soon as the weather slackens they both go out in search of Steve, but they can’t find him. So they go to the police and Eddie is broken up by the whole thing. He should have pressed Steve or even lied about liking him just to get him out of the rain.

It becomes a nine day wonder in Hawkins but other than a couple of news reports by a local station, it never gains much attention.

Something Eddie really should have seen as a red flag. The other red flag was how much the Harringtons and cops pushed the story of Eddie doing something to Steve. Despite all the evidence saying it couldn’t have been him.

Days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months and Eddie graduates by the skin of his teeth. He goes up to Indy for the music scene and while he’s under age, the bars let him play because he keeps the customers happy.

Those months turn into two years. Two years since Steve Harrington walked into the gloomy of a rainy Indiana night and never returned.

Eddie gets a gig at a new bar.

The bartender is nice, hazel eyes, honey colored hair, and two moles on the left side of his neck.

The name tag reads Aaron. Says he’s recently turned twenty-one and recently got this job.

So Eddie leaves it alone. If “Aaron” is hiding out for some reason, he doesn’t want to spook the guy.

But the more he talks to Aaron the more Eddie realizes he doesn’t remember. Anything. Well anything before he woke up in hospital with no wallet, no keys, and no memories. The trucker who found him on the side of the road just out of Hawkins decided if this kid was so desperate to get out of town that he would walk the interstate at night in the pouring rain, then he deserved to get out of town.

He picked the name Aaron himself and the McDonald from his first meal.

Eddie knows who this is now. There is no doubt this is Steve Harrington. And he is not twenty-one. So he calls up Hopper. The only cop in Hawkins that never believed Eddie had anything to do with Steve’s disappearance.

Tells him to start digging into the Harringtons because something really stinks. He doesn’t bring up Aaron, but tells him that he met someone who saw Steve walking the interstate that night.

Hopper tries to tell him he’s retired now. But he doesn’t mean it. This is the case that made him realize the job wasn’t about helping people but kowtowing to the rich. He always suspected the Harringtons had more to do with that boy’s disappearance then Eddie did.

Meanwhile, Aaron and Eddie start falling in love, Eddie having realized he was gay the year before. Aaron tells him of these dreams where he is trying to escape a large empty building from a man wielding a shotgun and screaming at him that if he’s caught, he’s dead.

Then Aaron starts getting really bad headaches. Like tens on the pain scale headaches. So they go and see his doctor. They run scans but can’t find anything wrong.

But after a bad attack, Aaron sinks a difficult basketball shot. Something he’s never been able to do before, but Steve Harrington could.

Then more stuff that’s Steve starts coming through. Being a little more sassy. A little more bitchy. He starts remembering people and places from Hawkins.

Then he remembers Eddie.

Not the night in question, though Eddie is upfront about that and why he didn’t bring it up.

Aaron is a little upset, but understands that if Eddie had said something sooner he wouldn’t have believed him.

Then Eddie gets the call. Hopper has the Harrington dead to rights. But if he could find a body or even Steve it would make the case air tight.

That’s when Eddie decides for the three of them to meet.

Eddie and Hopper meet up at the diner and as they’re talking, Hopper facing the bathroom, with Eddie on the other side.

It’s so he can see Hopper’s face when Steve Aaron Harrington walks out of the bathroom with the biggest fucking grin on his face.

Steve explains everything, the amnesia, the living in Indy, meeting Eddie.

Hopper is over the moon.

The Harringtons go to jail for assault of a minor, child endangerment, and child abandonment.

Steve and Eddie move in together and Eddie helps him get his GED and sort out his life.

[hannie-dul-set]

[is this an interrogation, or is this a blind date]. “ricky shen. shen quanrui. shim cheonye. wow. you have quite the collection of names, mr. shen. which are you most comfortable with?”

you voice echoes against the soundproofed walls of the interrogation room— painted black, dimly lit, exceedingly and uncomfortably cold. you let the police file rest atop your laptop keyboard to adjust the length of your sleeves, but it seems like your junior colleague sitting next to you isn’t all that bothered with the temperature in comparison.

“just ricky, please.”

the current…person of interest doesn’t seem all that bothered either. in fact, for someone being interrogated as a suspect for multiple criminal infractions, he looks awfully calm sitting in front of you from across the table; gaze wandering around as if he’s visiting a tourist attraction, two fingers tap, tap, tapping against the table as if he’s trying to replicate the elevator music humming through his head, and lips pursed into a curious pout as he stares straight into one of the four security cameras in the corner with sparkling eyes.

you feel a nudge from your left. assistant inspector park gunwook seems to be excited to witness his first interrogation. “all right, ricky,” you hum, smiling. “on the ninth of january, from 8:00 to 10:00 p.m.— do you mind walking me through what you did during that time?”

“oh!” ricky exclaims. you feel something spiritual rattle your bones. gunwook’s hands start typing. “january nine...i was at the gym from six to eight, or maybe until eight thirty? oh, and after that i stopped by at artisan— the bakery daehak-ro— and stayed there until nine, i think i’m not really sure..”

“artisan on daehak-ro,” you repeat. gunwook is typing every word exchanged. “i hear their milk bread is very popular.”

“it is! they taste very good.”

every syllable, every stutter. “the ones at boulange are better though,” you say, and you hear the typing stop for a moment. you feel your junior’s eyes on you. “soft. always fresh. served straight from the oven.”

“really?” ricky replies. “i’ve never been there before.”

your face brightens. you beam at him. “then, would you like to join me sometime this—”

a nudge from your left. you turn to see associate inspector park looking at you with a deeply confused and troubled expression. seonbae? his furrowed brows seem to ask. you assure him with a nod, a calm smile, then return your attention to the interrogatee. 

“ahem,” you clear your throat. “moving forward. after visiting the bakery, what did you do in the period between nine and ten?” ricky shen narrates the scene— that afterwards he bought a box of macarons to go then went straight home to watch some dramas. you interrupt him there, eyes scanning your records. “you say you went back to your apartment?”

gunwook copies the conversation onto his screen. “um, yes. i think so.”

“but according to a classmate of yours, miss shen xiaoting, she saw you walking along the sidewalk in hyewa-ro at around nine-forty-five, ricky.” your gaze flits back up to him. he blinks at you. he blinks at you with those sparkly, big, brown eyes. you continue to smile. “isn’t that a little too far from your address?”

“oh,” he says. “then she must be right. sorry, i can’t really remember.”

the sound of typing ceases. you feel an expectant gaze drilling into the left side of your cheekbone. you ignore gunwook’s avid enthusiasm at the opening ricky shen just made. you fold your laptop to a close. you bring your elbows to the table and let your chin rest on interlocked hands. 

“that’s okay,” you start. “we all forget things sometimes,” you continue, and this sends your younger colleague into a state of alarm.

“seonbae,” you hear him whisper, rather pressingly. you pretend that you did not.

“can you tell me what your relationship is with miss xiaoting?” you ask. ricky shen continues to sit very politely from across the table “just classmates? friends? maybe she’s your—”

“let’s— let’s take a five minute break!”

before you could even hear a response from ricky, who seemed to have no problems nor reservations in humoring your question, you’re shoveled out of the interrogation room by a very confused, very vexed, very alarmed park gunwook. “seonbae. inspector,” he exasperates. it’s a little hot outside the room. you uncross one of your arms to fan yourself in the face— not for too long because your junior starts to grab onto your shoulders. “please. please get a grip.” 

you look at him. deadpanned. he swallows. “i am getting a grip,” you reply, swatting his hands off your clothes. “getting a firm grip on this man because after years of being single thanks to this god damned job sucking the life out of me, my ideal type is finally being handed to me on a silver platter.”

“seonbae,” gunwook releases a breath. “he’s under investigation for charges of destruction of property and arson. seonbae, he might have burnt someone’s house down.”

“ah. well. i think he’s more cute than hot.” you peek into the one-sided window, showing the scene inside the interrogation room. your suspect is looking around and drumming his fingers against the table again. “there isn’t even probable cause to detain him for tonight. that’s a shame. i’m working overtime too.” 

through the window’s reflection, you could see gunwook’s expression— perplexed, confused, probably wondering how the hell did the scales of criminal justice fall into the hands of someone like you. you press your lips into a smile.

“five minutes over. time to get back to work.”

[fuck-you-upmusicbracket]

Achilles Come Down (Gang of Youths)

The self is not so weightless, nor whole and unbroken/Remember the pact of our youth/Where you go, I’m going, so jump and I’m jumping/Since there is no me without you

How, the most dangerous thing is to love/How, you will heal and you'll rise above/Crowned by an overture bold and beyond/Ah, it's more courageous to overcome.

You may feel no purpose/Nor a point for existing/It's all just conjecture and gloom/And there may not be meaning/So find one and seize it/Do not waste your self on this roof

Soldier on, Achilles, Achilles, come down/Won't you get up off, get up off the roof?

"I'm sure you'll get other submissions for this one. I have no idea who this band even are outside of this song but it fucks me up like it does everyone else. It's the tragic love of it all. The desperation of trying to save your loved one from themselves. Or are the narrators of the song Achilles' own conscience representing his indecision on whether to kill himself or not? It can mean so many things and SO many parts of the lyrics are very poetic and powerful. (also again for me this makes me cry over a Specific Blorbo in this case Dimitri Blaiddyd but that doesnt matter)"

"The cellos in the background, the lyrics, telling the story of Achilles, the fact that it's fucking 7min long, it's beautiful, it breaks me to then pull me back together, it gave me hope in a moment where I wasn't in the best mental space, it's like getting undressed to your very soul only to be cover up with a weighted blanket afterwards and be told "it'll be alright." It's like that image with the guy that's like "this is cinema" but with a song, god I love this song so much"

"Ohhhg my god. It’s so. It’s a fucking heartbreaking song but it gives hope (^^see abovw lyrics. there may not be meaning so find one and seize it gets me the most). I can’t say anymore about it but yeah"

"Achilles is about to jump off the roof, his lover is trying to convince him not to. the vibe of this song itself is so unique, the violin and the segments of French reading really grip at your soul. Towards the end there are two voices seemingly arguing. One voice is Achilles’s inner monologue and the other is his lover trying to yell over it. This part is my favorite, especially if you’re envisioning your blorbo. Tbh in my darkest times I would fall asleep to the ten hour loop every night. It felt like laying on a rooftop and looking out at the stars and the street lights. I think maybe it kept me from doing things I would regret."

Fast Car (Tracy Chapman)

You got a fast car, I want a ticket to anywhere/Maybe we make a deal, maybe together we can get somewhere/Any place is better, starting from zero got nothing to lose/Maybe we'll make something, me myself I got nothing to prove

So I remember when we were driving, driving in your car/Speed so fast, I felt like I was drunk/City lights lay out before us/ And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder/And I-I, had a feeling that I belonged

You got a fast car/Is it fast enough so we can fly away?/We gotta make a decision/Leave tonight or live and die this way

"I know it's an obvious one but YOU try playing it without crying I dare you"

"I cant explain the yearning but this makes me howl"

"OH GOD the longing!! The yearning in the recurring central image of the narrator and her lover on the highway, feeling this sense of limitless possibility and incredible hope!!! And then the verses take us with brutal efficiency through the collapse of their marriage, the way that the cycle of poverty stomps down on their hopes, and how with nothing left, the narrator does what her mom did and leaves!! Leaving the kids to experience the same thing she did growing up!! But it’s all punctuated and bookended by these callbacks to that central iconic memory of hope!!!!! But by the end we realize that the last line “leave tonight or live and die this way” offers only the illusion of a choice: when the narrator first runs away and later when she leaves her husband and kids, she’s still fulfilling her role in this cyclical generational story. God!!"

Fast Car submitted by @smallboyonherbike + @uchihasasukeofficial + @all-our-exploring

[television-overload]

fate is the handspike

(an X-Files ficlet)

[Read on AO3]

Summary:

Starting on February 23, 1964, Teena Mulder begins to worry about her young son. At first, she thinks maybe he's wishing for a little sister, a wish that will be granted very soon. But he insists the little girl he talks to is called Dana, and she's too little to play, but she likes when he reads his books to her.

(fic below the cut)

i.

At first, Teena thinks it's cute.

"She's just a baby, mommy, she can't play yet," he'd say.

"Oh, is that right?" she'd reply, indulging him in his childish fantasies. Perhaps this was his way of asking for a sister. The other moms in the neighborhood often urged her to give Fox a sibling, citing a child's need for company and social engagement, but Fox had always seemed so happy to play alone. She's not on the best of terms with her husband at the moment, either, which complicates things.

But then there's times when she sees Fox on the floor, legs splayed out before him as he recites his favorite picture books to his imaginary friend, and she wonders if she ought to be worried. Just a little.

Dr. Seuss, Curious George, Clifford the Big Red Dog... The boy has a photographic memory. Though he's too young to properly read, he has a grasp on the basic plots and recounts them in great detail, turning the pages as he goes.

"This one is called 'Where the Wild Things Are,' Dana," he says, because his friend's name—he insists—is Dana. He turns the book in his hand and shows the colorful illustration on the cover to a patch of carpet on the living room floor. "Don't worry, it's not scary," he assures her. Her. It. Whatever it is he's spent his days talking to since late February.

When he tells the story, he uses his own name, instead of 'Max.' That's how she'd always read it to him, and that's the only way he knows.

"And Fox told the monsters to be still!" he narrates with enthusiasm. "He used a magic trick and looked right in their BIG yellow eyes, and they were all scared. They said Fox is the most wild thing of all, and they made him king!"

ii.

There was one night when she'd woken to find Fox standing in the corner of his room, speaking softly to the wall.

"Shh, it's okay, Dana," he soothed in his little voice. "Here, I'll sing you a song. Twinkle twinkle little star...."

She never tells Bill what she's seen. He's always too busy to notice himself. But others know.

"He's quite an imaginative young fellow," Spender notes, taking a draw from his cigarette as Fox rolls around in the grass outside the house in Quonochontaug. Since "Dana" learned to crawl, he's been even more preoccupied than usual. He shows her all his toys, tells her the names of all his action figures. He announces to his mother one day that he's going to teach Dana how to walk. That she can only stand on her own for a little bit right now, but she doesn't cry anymore when she falls down.

Bill, if he ever catches wind of this, must think he's talking about one of the other kids from Teena's ladies' group. But there's no "Dana" in this neighborhood. Not on the Vineyard, either. She's checked.

iii.

The day she finds out she's pregnant, a part of her wonders. Though her knowledge of her husband's work is small, she knows enough to gather that things she might have thought impossible, could in fact be possible. Perhaps her son had been having visions of his baby sister, long before she was even conceived. Maybe it had simply been a sign that he would one day be a big brother. Soon.

She'd long since dispelled thoughts of ghosts and hauntings and exorcisms.

He tells Dana all about the baby in mommy's tummy. He giggles and makes silly faces, pausing in between sentences, which she gathers must mean his friend has developed the ability to speak.

"Mommy, she said my name! That's right! Fox! Fox!"

iv.

When Samantha is born, "Dana" seems to disappear overnight. This, at least, supports her theory that he had simply been preparing himself for a new sibling, and after a few years, she's completely dismissed the issue. Fox shows no other signs of strange or unusual behavior. He is nothing but a doting big brother, who occasionally gets annoyed by his freckle-faced kid sister, as any brother is wont to do. He reads to her, plays games with her, watches the television with her. They're two peas in a pod, and not once does the name "Dana" escape his lips. She is all but forgotten.

Until he's twelve years old. Samantha is gone, and Teena lacks the patience to deal with his questioning.

"Mom? Does the name 'Dana' mean anything to you?" he asks.

"What? Of course not, Fox, why would you ask such a thing?"

He looks down at his feet, shoulders slumping. "No reason. Forget I asked."

v.

When Fox lays awake at night, the bedroom next to his now dull and empty, he thinks he can hear a voice. It isn't Samantha's—though he'd thought so at first.

"By heaven, man," she reads, "we are turned round and round in this world, like yonder windlass, and Fate is the handspike. And all the time, lo! that smiling sky, and this unsounded sea!"

What does this girl know about fate? What does she know of this upside-down world?

"Read the next chapter, Dana!" he hears another girl's voice speak. The words are faint—muffled—like he's underwater. But her voice is clear.

He falls asleep, like most nights, listening to the tales of Ahab and Starbuck, and a great white whale.

-.-.-

Tag List ♡: @today-in-fic @agent-troi @baronessblixen @captainsolocide @cutemothman @deathsbestgirl @edierone @enigmaticxbee @figureofdismay @frogsmulder @hippocampouts @invidiosa @numinousmysteries @randomfoggytiger @skelavender @teenie-xf @thursdayinspace

[baiwu-jinji]

I was reading this post's comment section and saw people having an argument about who's the narrator of MDZS - I don't know the MDZS fandom very well but there seems to be a consensus that Wei Wuxian is the narrator of MDZS? To quote someone in the comment section, "although the flashbacks are narrated by an omniscient 3rd person, the present is narrated by WWX and everything stated as facts should be interpreted as his own thoughts." I'm not sure I agree because while WWX is the protagonist, he's not the narrator. I feel like Chinese novels and English novels are different in this aspect because readers of English novels are used to identifying fictional characters as narrators and attributing statements in the stories to certain characters' perspectives; but in Chinese novels, no single character needs to be the narrator, sometimes the author would just randomly insert their own opinions in the middle of a fictional character's point of view, and sometimes what people take to be a character's thoughts are really just the author's own voice.

I noticed this issue before in a post I saw about TGCF chapter 112. Chapter 112 contains the observation "in the future, there might be a heaven official who ascends while using the toilet, and that would be a sight to see", which the post takes to be Xie Lian's thoughts. I think the person who made the post assumed the observation is from Xie Lian's pov because they see Xie Lian as the narrator, but there's no indication that the line is from any character's perspective - in fact, it's just MXTX's own observation which she inserts into the plot and which intrudes on the characters' dialogues.

[pareidolla]

Saw your recent broken post - please I would love to hear more about the "anger and resentment" category!!

MY BROKEN COMRADE IN ARMS! YES, ANYTHING FOR YOU!

although i am wringing my hands in embarassment because the topic of broken's characterization is something i'm very passionate about, but i've complained about it before, and i don't want to come across as too whiny. i don't believe any one person should be seen as an authority on a character's portrayal, and i don't want to cause anyone undue stress. he's a video game character, it's not that serious.

that being said ⸻ broken is a very angry and bitter voice and i wish that was acknowledged more often!!!

you're the one making things difficult, you're the one making us hurt.

even outside of the tower's pet line, the voice of the broken reminds me of an abused dog. a dog will fight you, naturally, but you are stronger, and if it is wise, it will realize resistance is pointless. you can harm a dog as much as you'd like until it learns to do whatever it takes to satisfy and stay your hand. only then will you reward it, and only then will the dog merely flinch between caresses.

but submission isn't love, and a dog still has it's teeth.

as a hardcore simp, i've read as many broken opinions and writing i can get my paws on, and i've noticed a tendency to depict him as someone who holds no animosity unless directly influenced by tower. in their eyes, he pathetically loathes himself and believes that the other voices are superior in every way.

i disagree with this because, to put it bluntly, broken literally hates everyone. canonically! he may be a sad little shelterdog deserving of many head pats but he's not soft with anyone. his sadness shouldn't distract from the fact he firmly believes the other voices are delusional in a hopeless situation. broken never shows admiration for anyone other than the princess, but he's obviously not always thrilled with her either.

who cares if you (narrator) think we're special? as far as i can tell, the only thing special about us is that we get to experience painfully dying all over again.

[we] can't even surrender right

he's (cold) even worse than her (nightmare).

i think the best demonstration of this is how people approach broken's regret over his actions during the tower route. he's usually portrayed as overly regretful and melancholy for stabbing the long quiet, which makes sense, but i'd like to remind everyone that we have his canonical reaction, and he doesn't care lmao.

(literally my favorite broken line i must shamefully confess he sounds soooo hot here.)

which makes sense! broken is sorrowful, yes, but his more violent actions and words are motivated by an innocent desire to be safe. when he remains silent after being insulted or avoids conflict, it's not because he's afraid of the others, but because he believes it is safest for him to accept the hurt now rather than being inflicted with additional harm later. he's not going to apologize for attempting to save everyone when their futile efforts have now locked them into a cycle of being slain over and over by the princess's hands. like, literally the one thing he wanted to avoid.

it's also why his relationship with tower makes me want to gnash my teeth against the bars of my enclosure. they aren't good for eachother but they're so beautifully entwined and and their dynamic is so...?

broken's soulmate isn't physically incapable of hurting him like damsel, but she isn't determined to hurt him like razor or nightmare. for the price of his everything belong to her, she's able to save him, melting his anger into adoration, and he's even willing to hurt himself endlessly for her. i'm gonna 'hrow up.

[vidavalor]

Hey there :) I love your metas and would like to know why you think they decided to show satan as an actual being, but not god? Or do you think we will see god in the final episode?

Hi there! 💕Thank you & very interesting questions. *rubs hands together* This'll be fun. I know God is big on reminding people to not avoid salads but I also have chocolate cake so we can have a bit of both, yeah? *gets plates*

To answer your questions, I've got to share some ideas about The Voice of God that I've had lately that I think could come about in The Finale. If it winds up anything like this, it might not just change how we see God in the series but also completely upend our understanding of the novel at the same time...

So, throughout Good Omens the tv series so far, we've had what appears to be three beings who are the ones in charge of Heaven and Hell: The Metatron, Satan, and, kind of out here in her own world a bit, God. The Metatron claims to be the spokesperson for God but that is in doubt in a lot of people's minds, my own included. I think he's a fraud who cannot speak to God and whose power is dependent upon the angels believing that he can. I'm pretty sure that The Finale will see the main characters challenge him on this and expose his deception, leading them to be able to overthrow him and create a better system in Heaven.

Satan and The Metatron are dependent upon one another for power so if one of them goes down, they both do. Exposing The Metatron would cause the angels to realize that God didn't judge the demons-- The Metatron did. This would mean that the angels and demons would realize that they're all just angels and that they are on the same side against both The Metatron and Satan. I'm pretty sure that's why those two villains were working together to get rid of Aziraphale and Crowley in The Final 15 and want Gabriel dead-- they don't want the angels and demons to talk to one another long enough to figure it out and start a revolution.

So, let's say that all of that is close to (or is) accurate and we get to a point in The Finale when we find out that Heaven is a sham and The Metatron can't talk to God. This then brings up a big question that the characters in Good Omens aren't really seen asking a lot but that will suddenly be as big to these angels as it is to us humans:

Does God exist?

We might think we already know the answer to this, right? Of course she does! She's the ball of light that sounds like Frances McDormand! She's narrated S1 for us and she's talked to Crowley and Aziraphale and Job! When you ask if I think we'll see God in the finale, this is the being that you're probably asking about, right? The God we listened to who narrated S1 to us was crazy about humanity, yes? You'd think she'd want to participate since, as God, she'd know that would be what living really is. Does she, as you ask, have a body? Is she a living being? We might think she really does exist because we've heard what she sounds like but I think we might not quite yet have the full picture on that, as you'll see...

We can see what they're doing with The Metatron and Satan more clearly right now, I think. These two are two sides of an evil coin. Heaven and Hell are equally terrible. Neither has any sense of individuality, boundaries, or bodily autonomy. They are full of toxic, harmful ideas and are inflicting horrific abuse on the angels and demons. How they are presented to us as beings also reflects those horrors.

The Metatron is the only supernatural character in the story who does not have a full human corporation. He is just a floating head and that is the, well, pardon the pun, but the most meta thing in this story imaginable. He presents himself as above the other angels and nearer to God by virtue of the fact that he just needs a head to get around and doesn't deal with having a human body. His presentation is saying to the other angels that they couldn't ever possibly live up to his standards of holiness because they might all be magical but they have bodies, which are, by definition, unholy. They aren't supposed to feel or need anything that requires a body and what's extra fun for them is that everything does so the angels are made to feel like they cannot win from the get-go.

Fuck it up and wind up in Hell? Now, you are evil and belong to Satan for eternity. Violence, torture and assault from which there is no escape awaits you. I'd argue that while Satan is an actual being, as you put it, because he was an angel before, that we might not have actually seen that true form yet.

In 1.01, he attacks Crowley while being basically vapor and using the voice of Freddie Mercury. (That's definitely the most bizarre-sounding sentence I've written this week lol.) In 1.06, he is coming to claim Adam and Adam is told by Crowley and Aziraphale right before that this is what's about to happen so I think that Satan appeared as Adam would think The Devil would look like. He was eleven at the time, so, a giant, angry, horned, red devil cliche beast that sounded like Benedict Cumberbatch was probably about accurate. Satan has so far appeared not necessarily as himself but as whatever being might be most torturous to the person he's showing up to or whatever being might meet his end goals-- which is how he is appearing as The Metatron With A Body in 2.06. He's coming to tempt Aziraphale to Hell and Aziraphale would only ever think the offer genuine if he thought it was coming from The Metatron so that's who Satan made himself appear to be.

Both Heaven and Hell are, as Crowley puts it in 2.06, toxic.

But when you bring The Voice of God into this, things start to really interesting.

While it's not hard to see both Satan and The Metatron as evil, God is a little more difficult. This is some of the basis of the theory that The Metatron cannot communicate with God. One of the things that makes the theory have weight is that it's very difficult to see this God that is narrating the story to us in S1 as someone who would actually be behind the atrocities that Heaven claims are her will.

I think most of us like The Voice of God. She is very sharp, very dry-witted, and she's curious about people. She clearly loves all her beings. She really doesn't seem like a vengeful God that could be behind drowning people or casting all these demons to Hell or wanting to murder a laundry list of living beings around Job. The God we heard in S1? She wouldn't believe that Job's children belonged to Job in the first place, let alone want to kill any kids, let alone to do so only to win a bet with Satan.

There's a moment in S1 that I think solidifies that The Voice of God isn't a villain and that's when Crowley arrives at Tadfield Manor with baby Adam. God's narration introduces to us the baby swap plot about to go down by telling us (paraphrased) that it's helpful to understand that events in human history do not happen as a result of people being good or bad but just as a result of people being people. When she says this, Crowley is participating in the misunderstandings of the scene, alongside the humans in it, and God is counting him among the people of which she is speaking.

That's basically the moment that it becomes impossible to see The Voice of God as a villain because here she is, seeing Crowley as human. Here she is, narrating his and Aziraphale's story, and we the audience, for much of S1, really want to tell Crowley and Aziraphale that she is, right? If anything, this is the one thing we're angry with her about...

When Crowley is talking to God alone in his flat and not getting any response, we're angry at the God we also like because we know that she loves Crowley but he doesn't feel that and is suffering. We want her to tell him. We want her to be more clear with Aziraphale, too, after just appearing outside Eden. Even still, though, she's likable in her narration and seems separate from The Metatron and Satan.

There is the feeling that, if The Voice of God is God, that she believes that the universe is the dominion of her creations and that she cannot interfere because to do so would be to force them all to follow her will. She doesn't want to rob her creations of their free will. There is no plan from God but for them to all be free. This would make her a just god and go along with her narration so it allows us to be understanding about the fact that she cannot actually talk that much to her creations directly or stop any terrible things from happening-- because it's up to them to do so, not her.

That may all well be true but, as we will see, there might be some evidence that The Voice of God might have a more complicated identity than we might originally have thought.

If the main characters overthrow The Metatron and Satan in The Finale, it's going to be as a result of the characters talking and realizing that none of them-- including Gabriel and the archangels-- have ever spoken to God. As a result, they will all know that they don't know how to reach her.

They've only ever reported to The Metatron. God didn't even turn up for Gabriel's trial-- a big deal in Heaven, since he was The Supreme Archangel. All of this will lead them to the realization that The Metatron is a fraud but these characters are angels. They believe that they were made by the God they haven't ever actually interacted with entirely for the purpose of serving that God.

When they find out that The Metatron cannot contact God, they're all going to be wondering if God exists and it might be here that we'd think that Crowley and Aziraphale might share their experiences of hearing The Voice of God, yes?

Except...

...think about those known experiences for a moment...

The Voice of God has only appeared (key word: appeared) to speak to three characters: Aziraphale, Crowley and Job. In the first scene we see in which she speaks to a character, it's to Aziraphale, when he is alone outside the wall of Eden, right?

In this moment, Aziraphale has just rebelled more than he probably ever has before. He gave Adam and Eve his flaming sword and helped Crowley get out of Eden and now, here he is, standing outside the walls of Eden, having escaped himself and both thrilled and terrified to start a journey of exploring the Earth. He's been having an internal crisis as to whether or not he did the right thing. He knows that he did by his own moral compass but it's all very much against how Heaven works and he's unsure what it is that the God he believes made him and whom he serves actually wants him to do.

This is the exact moment when The Voice of God appears and has a short little chat with him about it-- dryly dubbing him "The Angel of The Eastern Gate" and asking him what he did with the flaming sword. This scene is fun because we all figure that, if this is God, surely she knows what Aziraphale did with the sword, but we get to watch as he lies straight to her ball of light. We think that she approves because nothing ever happens to Aziraphale as a result of this.

However, there's no real proof in this scene that The Voice of God was ever actually talking to Aziraphale. Aziraphale is the only other character in the scene and one could theorize that he has imagined God talking to him more than God actually talking to him.

We tend to never question the fact that, while God doesn't seem to be talking to anyone else in the story in S1, that she does briefly talk to Aziraphale. This makes sense to us because Aziraphale's role in Eden was a big deal in the whole series of events on Earth and we already feel like God feels that Aziraphale and Crowley are important because she's narrating their story. Not only do they appear to have been chosen to be in Eden to help jumpstart human life on Earth but they're important enough in everything for God to be telling us their story as she chats with us. Because they're our main characters we don't see anything off about God seeing them as main characters, too.

We actually use Eden in our minds as some of the foremost proof that God exists in Good Omens. These angels act like she must and Aziraphale's spoken with her so it must be true, yes?

Except... what if it's not?

What if Aziraphale was having a crisis of faith in Eden and basically imagined speaking with God?

What if The Voice of God isn't The Voice of Actual God (if God even exists) but rather The Voice of God in Aziraphale's Head?

We've never seen any proof that any of the angels or eventual demons have ever actually spoken with God, including prior to the creation of Earth. We assume that God is real because they all talk like she is but we've never been shown any concrete proof that they aren't all just believing they work for someone they've never met.

But, wait, you might say, what about Crowley and Job hearing her in the Job minisode, right? Isn't that proof?

Well... that's a bit suspect, too, and I'll show you why. It's largely hinted at in the sound mixing and context of that scene.

Like Aziraphale was outside the wall in Eden, Job was a man of faith in the midst of a massive crisis when we saw him. He and Sitis had been weathering what they believed was the wrath of God. Job's whole world was under siege and his children were in danger and his wife was begging him to go ask God for answers. When Crowley and Aziraphale come up on Job appearing to speak with God, several things are contextually important that suggest that this isn't quite what it appears to be.

Diluting the visuals is that, in this scene, the post-storm, dawn sun is starting to come through the clouds a bit, much in the way it was after the storm clouds of Eden were clearing when God appeared to Aziraphale in Eden. Job was under the light, praying and appearing to be communicating with God. Crowley and Aziraphale stop far back from Job and, when we're near them, we cannot hear God clearly. The key is in the sound mixing in this scene. When we're near Crowley and Aziraphale, God sounds like she's speaking in a wind tunnel ten miles away. We can catch snippets of words on the breeze but there's nothing tangible there. It would have been literally impossible for Crowley and Aziraphale to hear a single, complete sentence of any of this... and, based on what Job tells Sitis afterwards, he doesn't hear it, either. To add to this, Crowley is unreliable where this scene is concerned because, when it happens, he's drunk enough that we're shown him having trouble walking.

These two were drunk on food and wine in the midst of having moral crisis and watched a man pray under stormy, dawning daylight a half-mile away and think that, maybe, he might have been talking to God. That's it.

Job was in a state of madness and thinks he heard his own Voice of God when asked what happened the next day by Sitis. Crowley and Aziraphale think, from what they can see, that God really is talking to Job-- but they're so far back that they cannot hear basically anything that she's saying. They are both different kinds of intoxicated and likely seeing light and sound from the dwindling storm/emerging daybreak highlighting a man experiencing a kind of religious ecstasy and taking that for possible truth.

We hear her accurately when the camera gets closer to Job... but this all influenced by Aziraphale remembering these events as he reads them in his Bible in the bookshop, so the real is overlapping in this moment with the Biblical account... and it's also clear that Job doesn't remember much of anything he thinks that she said. He returns the next morning and tells Sitis that it was all too wonderful for him to comprehend and something something whales and ostriches. Basically, Job went a bit bonkers and convinced himself that he heard God and she was going on about different animals.

So, look at what we're saying here...

...if Job cannot remember what God said and Crowley and Aziraphale didn't hear it because they heard sounds on the wind and Crowley was drunk and Aziraphale thinks God had spoken to him before but was, that night, only speaking to Job... then from where, in the Good Omens universe, did the Job passage that is supposedly what God said to Job and was recorded in The Bible actually originate?

Who wrote it?

Who is the real Voice of God, when it comes to the Job passage and, likely, in general?

Who wrote the line that prompted Aziraphale to think back on the Job minisode in the first place-- the one that was the only thing which Gabriel could remember at first?

You know why this is all Gabriel can remember and why he looks awfully distraught at the recollection of it? Because Gabriel doubts the existence of God. He's been The Supreme Archangel for thousands of years and she's never spoken to him and The Metatron's a total bastard and God didn't even show up when Gabriel was thrown out of Heaven. What has he been clinging to all these years regarding her existence and his own sense of what the right path to take is? He's been clinging to the bit in The Bible that detailed what it was that God apparently said to Job.

Gabriel not only clings to this as proof of God's existence but he clings to it as proof that he is right to think what he does. Gabriel's own moral compass is at odds with The Metatron and Heaven, just like Crowley and Aziraphale's is. He is The Supreme Archangel of Heaven but he doesn't believe that the demons are all evil and beneath the angels. He actively works to keep angels and demons alike from The Metatron and Satan finding out that they are talking to one another. He wants to believe that God is not a villain and that she approves of this mentality and, as proof that she does, Gabriel clings to the line from Job where God told Job wistfully that she was there "when the morning stars sang together and all the Angels of God shouted for joy." He sees this as God supporting his mindset that the angels and demons are all angels of God and to mistreat the demons is wrong.

But... if The Voice of God is The Voice of God in Aziraphale's Head, then when we hear Frances McDormand, we're hearing Aziraphale.

When it came time to write what it was that God said to Job, though, it was Crowley and/or Aziraphale who actually wrote the passage below, which is why it sounds so much like how they view things:

Job, you've got questions for me? I've got questions *for you.* Do you know how I created the Earth? Where were you when I laid the foundations of the Earth, Job? Were you there when all the morning stars sang together and all the Angels of God shouted for joy? Do you know the rules of the Heavens? Did you set the constellations in the sky? Can you send lightning bolts and get them to report back to you? Did you give wings to peacocks, Job, or teach the ostrich to run?

What is credited to God here are actually things that Crowley and Aziraphale did, as suggested by the Before the Beginning scene, when we see that Aziraphale was involved in the creation of Earth and Crowley designed the stars. The line to which Gabriel clings is one that God didn't say-- Crowley and/or Aziraphale wrote it, explaining Crowley's hesitation when he says to Aziraphale: "your, ah, boss... said that to Job" in response to Gabriel quoting it, as well as what it is that Aziraphale wants to talk about when he says "Crowley" upon finishing reading the bit of The Bible recounting the Job minisode-- most of which was actually written by he and Crowley.

Ok, so, if The Voice of God is really more like Aziraphale's Voice of God? This explains a few things...

It explains why we haven't heard Frances McDormand's voice speaking to any other beings besides Aziraphale and ones who are otherwise unreliable. The only being who reliably hears her is Aziraphale and that's because she is how he imagines The Voice of God. She is the one that lives is in his head and talks to him.

It also explains why her conversation with Aziraphale in Eden opens the 1.03 Cold Open and why the two instances where she shows up to Aziraphale are both very early on chronologically in Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship. It's showing that Aziraphale's Inner Voice of God is something that is always within him-- because she is him-- but that hearing The Voice of God in his head was something that was probably happening with more frequency in the earlier part of Aziraphale's story-- back when he was more on his own for long stretches of time and before he had Crowley more frequently in his life to talk with about how he felt about things.

Interestingly, the last scene of the Job minisode begins with Aziraphale sitting under the sun/light of God alone, afraid that he's about to fall, echoing some of the scene outside the wall at Eden... but ends with the shot of Crowley sitting with him, after supporting him and their mutual admittance that they're both lonely without the other. The Voice of God can be seen as something of a feature of Aziraphale's loneliness but maybe he has those conversations with her/himself less frequently from the Job minisode on because both his perspective on Heaven/Hell has changed and, just as importantly, he has Crowley to talk to.

After all, remember how we said that she showed up as Aziraphale was having a whole inner crisis in Eden? The same was true in the Job minisode. Not only was Aziraphale having a whole moral dilemma over what to do about Job's kids when he apparently hears The Voice of God speaking to Job but he's just recently seen Crowley again and they are basically on a little date.

Aziraphale, in the hours prior to hearing God in the Job minisode, has just tried food for the first time-- a lot of food lol-- and is flirting his way closer to sex. He's literally taking a romantic walk with his demon love when Frances McDormand cameos so the possibility that, while he's having a very nice night, he's also internally having a bit of an ox ribs and lust guilt delusional freakout seems kind of high.

So, now, think about what else happens if Frances McDormand's Voice of God is Aziraphale's inner Voice of God... Gabriel has some scenes in S2 that could be seen as playing around with this a bit.

The first is Aziraphale bringing up the concept of an author when talking with Gabriel about the book organization project. While there is humor in the fact that Gabriel can't remember what an author is-- how could he when he can't fully remember who he is?--- there's also something else at play here, too.

Gabriel's idea for how to organize the books sounds balmy but it's secretly kind of brilliant-- especially when taken as a metaphor for how to view people. Gabriel can't be bothered with categories, genres, types, labels, or titles. All he's interested in is the first letter of the first sentence on the first page of every book. While we're laughing at this because we know that he's going to end up with most of the books just clumped together under a few sections like the one we see him spending time in-- the "I" section, full of "it's" and "I" beginnings of books-- that's also the point.

We have more in common than meets the eye and Gabriel is insightful enough to bypass the labels we put on others and ourselves and just get to the common origin stories and experiences. Aziraphale asks if his plan is to sort the books alphabetically by author and Gabriel says he is by the first letter of the first sentence-- ironically, Gabriel is sorting by author, really, but he's matching up authors based on what they've written, not by their similar names.

Why this matters is because we now have this scene between Gabriel and Aziraphale where the concept of an author is in play. Gabriel can't remember what the word means but his project is based around what is actually a really deep understanding of one. At the same time, Aziraphale knows what the humans refer to as an author but is struggling to claim authorship of his own life. The word author was also at the core of this struggle for him in S1 when he prayed for help in stopping Armageddon. What was it that Aziraphale said he was looking to reach when he prayed?

"A higher authority."

Aziraphale was looking to reach God or anyone with the power to stop Armageddon and his efforts to find someone else to be that higher authority were unsuccessful and that is because we are all the authors of our own lives.

We are God.

Aziraphale is his own higher authority. He is the author of his own plan-- his own life.

And, if The Voice of God in the series that we hear is really Aziraphale?

Then look at that moment when Gabriel pulled a book off the shelf of the bookshop-- one without a title or an author, though someone has written it-- and it turned out to be one with which we're very familiar:

As Gabriel works on his book organization project, we get this trippy moment when he opens up and reads from the first page of a copy of a book that we all know as Good Omens. There is evidence that this is different from just the "lol Aziraphale is a Doctor Who fan" joke elsewhere in the season. This Clue comes in the shot showing us the book itself from multiple angles in Gabriel's hands-- and the fact that the cover is not the same as our copies of the book. It is a red clothbound hardcover with no dust jacket and no visible title or author printed anywhere on it.

The show has already established that Terry Pratchett and that other guy exist in the Good Omens universe because their solo books are visible at different points in the series. When it establishes that the novel Good Omens exists within the Good Omens universe, though, it does so only by establishing that the text of book we know does. The title of it is not visible and neither are any evidence of its authors in our world, despite their existence in this fictional one.

Moreover, by showing us the first page of what we know to be the Good Omens novel, they're showing us a part of the book that we've already heard before, near its beginning. This bit highlighted on the screen to us-- the opening sentence and first, full paragraph of the novel-- were God's narration over the end of the Eden scene in the first episode. Most of the narration of The Voice of God in S1, as we know, is taken from passages of the Good Omens novel and the show establishes in S2 with this Gabriel scene that the text of Good Omens exists in an unmarked book in Aziraphale's bookshop.

I think it's all saying pretty emphatically that Good Omens, in the Good Omens universe, was written by Aziraphale.

The only way that works then is if the voice we've been hearing both read this book to us and seeming to speak to Aziraphale is of Aziraphale's own creation, which would then mean that Frances McDormand is also, essentially, playing Aziraphale. She is just what God sounds like in Aziraphale's head. She is what Aziraphale imagines God to be. She is, effectively, Aziraphale.

This then suddenly makes everything about God's narration make a lot more sense, right? God's love of humanity and her interest in behavioral science and her cheeky, dry-as-a-bone humor is all very Aziraphale. God's love of Crowley and the way that she approves of him and Aziraphale's relationship and sees them as people like her other beings is what Aziraphale believes would be true of the loving God that he believes in and is fundamentally true of how he views their relationship and Crowley himself. God's ability to speak Crowley and Aziraphale's language and the novel being written in it becomes less that God can do so because she's God and more because she's really just Aziraphale.

The whole novel itself takes on quite a different perspective if you look at it as the book above that Gabriel found when he was organizing the books. The one that, as of S2, it was too dangerous to have labeled at all but that we can theorize was written by Aziraphale and is wrapped up and bound in Crowley's signature color and that color of love-- red.

The book we know as Good Omens is, in the Good Omens universe, a book that Aziraphale wrote for Crowley in which they are two of the characters.

This is, more than anything else we've seen so far, the real book of life.

I think that it's saying that if you were to finish the series and find this to be true, you could then go pick up the novel again and read it as if Aziraphale wrote it, with the narrative passages maybe in his Voice of God Frances McDormand voice but with the knowledge that The Voice of God is really Aziraphale himself.

I love this idea because it means that the tv series that keeps giving us more information that reframes our prior understanding of things might wind up ending with a twist where the nature of The Voice of God in the series is such that it won't even just make rewatching the show a extra fun (although it will) but it'll make it so that you'll be able to go all the way back and read the novel in a different way as well, now with the perspective that Aziraphale is meant to be its author.

This also would be fun because it'd then be viewing the tv series as the canon and the book as what Aziraphale wrote happened and any discrepancies and changes as Aziraphale's writing choices. It means you get to read the passages in the book that are descriptive of Crowley or of he and Aziraphale together from the viewpoint that Aziraphale wrote them, which honestly makes them even funnier.

This would mean that God, as she's been presented to us so far in the series, is an actual being because she's Aziraphale and that we will see her in the finale because she's been a part of our main character all along.

So... there's then just one question left... and it's the same one we had earlier on in the meta:

Does God exist?

If The Voice of God is Aziraphale's inner Voice of God then is the story going to suggest that a real God does exist or is it going to suggest that she doesn't or is that going to be left as an open question?

There are a couple of paths that they could take-- two that I can see and likely some I haven't.

One is Agnes Nutter. I know a lot of people have theories that she's actually God. They could suggest or imply that a bit. In some ways, they might already have done so, as others have suggested.

The other path is the one that I think they might take, though, regardless of what they do or don't suggest with Agnes, which is to leave it so that Aziraphale is The Voice of Frances McDormand God and it's an open question as to whether or not an actual God exists.

The reason why I think it's that path that they're going to take is that Good Omens has a lot of themes around recognizing and claiming personal power and living to your own moral code. It's also very much aligning these supernatural beings in its story with the humans in it and it might just be the writer in me but I think it would be a stronger ending to have the angels and demons wondering just as much as the humans if God exists than it would be to definitively give an answer.

They're all going to know that The Ineffable/Great/Divine Plan in the sense that Heaven was saying existed for eons doesn't exist but the angels and demons will be left wondering along with the humans if they have a creator and if that creator made them for any particular reasons... just like how we wonder those things, too.

As much as the story is a religious satire, it's also a romance, and I can't see an ending of this story doing much to say that Crowley is wrong for his romantic notions that he and Aziraphale were made for each other. It's probably going to just leave the existence of God as an open question.

The story is already going to provide the characters with some much-needed peace from the fact that they'll know that what they endured was a judgement of The Metatron and not God. That and the resulting more peaceful system in Heaven will allow Crowley and Aziraphale to go live their life together without as much fear and they will do that. They might be able to put a name and a title on that book and own the authorship of their story. Even if some might label it as fiction, Gabriel, at least, sees it as belonging alongside the other, human-penned books on the I shelf in the bookshop, and he won't be the only one by the end of the story.

Not knowing then if God exists at all will yield just as many questions... but, if they had all the answers, where would be the sense of wonder in that? It will certainly give them some things to talk about for eternity together. 😊