#nari rose is writing

[shotosjupiter]

I BLINKED AND SUDDENLY I HAD A VALENTINE!

𖤐 sypnosis... you ask them to be your valentine <3

࣪𖤐 note... super fluffy! and al haitham being a little shit

𖤐 ft. tighnari, al-haitham, ningguang, kazuha, and ayato

𖤐 TIGHNARI blinks at you as you stood in front of him, holding out pink and orange tulips. you had researched them, of course, ensuring they represented love. he cocks his head to the side, as you exclaim, a broad grin stretching on your face, “be my valentine, nari?”

he nods slowly, but surely. despite his quieter reaction, you can tell from the subtle twitching of his ear and the slow pink blush creeping up to his cheeks that he’s pleased. tighnari clears his throat and offers you a bouquet that was tucked behind him, waiting for your arrival. he grasps your hand, gently but clearly asking, “and would you be mine?”

“yes! yes, i would love to be, nari.” you lean forward and press a kiss to his (turning) red cheeks.

𖤐 AL-HAITHAM raises an eyebrow at you. “i thought we were already each other’s valentines.” it sounds more like a statement than a question.

you make a face back at him, “no dummy, you have to ask. that’s how valentines work! what if i already had a valentine?”

“… but you don’t.” he responds, deadpanned.

you gape at him and his pure audacity. “i could! i could- i could be going on a valentines date with that guy right over there!” you gesture towards the general area of microbiology shelves where there’s a few scruffy students, busying themselves.

al-haitham glances back at the scholars, and turns back to you. he huffs out a sigh and turns back to his book, annotating something in the side pages as if this conversation wasn’t something he could be bothered with.

then, a note with a doodle of the two of you and a question: will you be my valentine? check one: yes or yes.

you grin, scrambling to write an answer back.

𖤐 NINGGUANG has already planned everything out since new years. she takes valentines seriously and is not to be played around with in such matters. she had committed your work schedule to memory and had taken the day off to dedicate herself to this mission.

she left a trail of rose petals going from your hallway all way to your shared bedroom. there laid the same petals, shaped into a heart. she had cooked your favorite meal, with the dining table set with even more flowers and your favorite drink. lastly, was a small gift of matching charm bracelets that laid upon the table, waiting for your arrival.

when you had arrived, you had rushed to her side after seeing all the decorations and effort put into this. you cupped her face into a searing kiss and then left a series of kisses all over face. ningguang giggled, pleased to see your happy reaction to her proposal. you grinned at her shyly and offered her her own set of flowers and a small cor lapis necklace you had gotten specifically made for her, asking if she would also do the honor of being your valentine. (spoiler: she said yes.)

𖤐 KAZUHA was a man who had to face a hard decision. which poem should he present you with to ask to be your valentine? there were simply too many choices, too many words, and yet, still nothing had the correct wording he had wanted. what was he to do?

it was one of the few days before valentine’s day where he was sitting by his desk, pushing his brain to find the perfect words to present you, when you came and sat right next to him. you grinned at him slyly, “i have something to show you,” and slid a decorated piece of paper towards him.

it was a poem. a beautiful poem asking him to be your valentine. kazuha looked up at you and smiled with laughter and gentleness in his eyes. “you had beat me to it - but yes. i would love to be your valentine, dove.”

𖤐 AYATO is similar to ningguang in which he had a plan prepared in the back of his head for a couple of weeks now. he had bought a necklace with the charm in the center being a sapphire surrounded by silver. the problem was trying to figure out when to present it to you and ask.

luckily, you managed to unknowingly offer him a solution when you asked him if he would like to take a walk with you around the estate. he nodded calmly, while internally his heart soared at the opportunity. the jewelry box was sat in his pocket always, waiting for the opportunity. now he just had to speak the words.

as the two of you walked, the sakura bloom petals billowing around you, creating an evermore romantic environment. you were chattering about the latest house gossip thoma had told you when ayato stopped and grasped your hand and turned you around pulling you into the net of his arms.

he stared at you for a moment as you fixed him with a questioning gaze in response to his behavior. he cleared his throat and showed you the sapphire necklace he had gotten before gesturing, “may i?”

you nodded and turned as you felt his cold hands delicately clasp the necklace on. the brush of his hands elicited goosebumps to raise by your neck before you heard the raspy whisper, “would you- will you be valentine, darling?”

you turned, a pleased smile on your face before leaning into kiss him slowly. you cupped his face gently, letting his soft lips come together with yours. you broke away from him for a split second to whisper back, “of course i will.”

[strangeobsessed]

Bada Lee Fic Recommendations

*photos are edited by me, pls dont steal!! thank you

note: most of the fics will contain angst, fluff, suggestive/smut, toxic relationship ish? i'll possibly continue to update this list and make a one-shot ver if i don't get lazy. enjoyyy!! btw adding a writers work here basically means i recommend their whole acc!

last updated: 22 dec 2023

SERIES / ONE-SHOTS

Mortal Gods - Bada Lee x OC Team Fem!Reader synopsis: Imagine a ninth team becoming part of the dynamic Street Woman Fighter 2 cast. These remarkable dancers don't only showcase their incredible moves; they possess an enchanting charm that sweeps not just the audience but also the hearts of their fellow competitors. ↳ by @ssivinee

All American Bitch - Bada Lee x Fem!Reader synopsis: Bada's strong opinion of you spreads like wildfire, which turns into nothing but disaster. Neither of you feel sympathy for the other. After all, there are only 3 rules in Street Woman Fighter: no limit, no respect, and no mercy. ↳ by @perfectsunlight

Moth to a Flame - Bada Lee x Fem!Reader synopsis: Y/n L/n is the youngest team member of Jam Republic, competing in the second season of Street Woman Fighter. She’s got the sweetest smile and the most vibrant personality, but she also may or may not be the biggest hothead on the show when it comes to defending her teammates. Apparently that’s attractive to Bada Lee. ↳ by @wrosie-writes

Let's Dance - Bada Lee x Jam Rebublic!Reader x Wolf'lo!Chocol synopsis: A professional ballet dancer in Street Woman Fighter Season 2? (Y/N) Bae, a 23-year-old ballerina and dance prodigy enters the fighting arena alongside the infamously known crew, Jam Republic. Making the team's aura and presence far more intimidating despite being clad in soft pink and white clothing, adorned with astonished faces and friendly smiles. As the young woman entered the arena with curious eyes and small smile, the other teams couldn't help but awe at her beauty and elegant aura, unknowingly capturing the eyes of two charismatic dancers. ↳ by @diana-rose-25

Lost Cause - Bada Lee x Reader x BEBE!Lusher synopsis: In which, you can't help but hate being Bada's best friend, even though you love her more than anything. ↳ by @bountycancelled

A Princess' Will - Bada Lee x Princess!Reader synopsis: After an assassination attempt, the queen invites the very best fighters from across the land to compete for the great honor of protecting you, the princess. ↳ by @lovystar

Stolen Hoodie (SMAU) - Bada Lee x OC!Reader (Shin Nari) synopsis: In which a love story begins with a stolen hoodie. ↳ by @badasgirlfriend

No Feelings Attached To The Limit (Part 2) - Bada Lee x Dancer!Reader synopsis: The relationship between bada and y/n had always been flirty. But what if one of them wanted something more? ↳ by @nimxie

The guy she was interested in wasn't a guy at all - Bada Lee x Fem!Reader synopsis: As you attend one of Kai's shows, your gaze remains glued to a particular background dancer. Fueled by adrenaline, you gather the courage to approach him after the performance, handing over your number. But what can happen when Y/N realise that the guy she was interested in wasn’t a guy at all? ↳ by @westwoodsvivi

Mafia AU - Mafia!Bada Lee x Fem!Reader synopsis: Your arranged marriage to older!cold!mafia boss!Bada Lee unfolds, revealing that there's more than just ice behind her cold heart. ↳ by @allur1ngs

Losing Touch Untouched (Part 2) - Gang Member!Bada Lee x Reader synopsis: Picking up your girlfriend from the police station does not seem like a good date idea for you. Especially if she refuses to talk about the very things that got her in trouble with the police. ↳ by @beetlejuicyy

The Duplicate Part 2 - Bada Lee x 1 Million Member!Reader synopsis: - ↳ by @throughthebluesea

Speak Now - Bada Lee x Actress!Reader synopsis: You and Bada have been best friends since you transferred to her school during 8th grade. Both are harboring feelings for each other but chose to remain as friends just in case being in a relationship doesn't work out between you. You made a pact to be each other's date during holidays and occasions that carried on to adulthood. You had to go away but Bada's feelings for you remained. She wanted to ask you out when you come back but when you did, she found out you're already engaged to someone else. Will this be a tragic love story or will she finally gather up courage to be with you after all these years? ↳ by @mikachacha

Secret Love Song Part 2 - Bada Lee x BEBE!Reader synopsis: Being in a secret relationship is not easy, especially if you are hiding it to the whole world. — or — the heavy weight of the strained relationship you have with Bada has just become too overwhelming. ↳ by @mikaleialt

Ignited Fire - Bada Lee x Fem!Reader synopsis: Y/n S/n, an Architecture student and Bada Lee, a Performing Arts student shares an apartment at their university. They are doing great until Bada started bringing different girls at night forbidding Y/n to focus on her studies. Things went south when Bada stated her adoration towards Y/n. It all went downhill when one night ruined Y/n’s heart. ↳ by @bleu-seas

Full Moon Part 2 - Succubus!Bada Lee x Fem!Reader synopsis: - ↳ by @sun-nyy

Admire. - Bada Lee x Jam Republic OC!Reader (Lea Chang) synopsis: In which Bada unexpectedly gets to see and battle her long-time idol and crush on a survival show she was in, Street Woman Fighter. ↳ by @yxine

Homewrecker - Bada Lee x Reader synopsis: Bada is lonely, you fix that. ↳ by @sydnerss

[peachiejeongin]

ink and thorns, part 1 | hyunjin

part 2

synopsis: hwang hyunjin is the tattoo artist you cannot stand for the life of you, always acting so smug, so horrendous, and always attempting to flirt with you. you hate him, but what happens when you end up in his arms after a traumatic night?

pairing: tattoo artist!hyunjin x fem!reader

genre: enemies to lovers, angst, smut, fluff

warnings: mature & sexually explicit content (18+ recommended), lower case letters intended, swearing, pet names (sweetheart, princess, etc.), mentions of anxiety, cheating (not hyunjin or reader), mentions of losing a parent.

wc: 15.4k

notice: hello, my darlings! tattoo artist hyunjin has been on my mind for a while with the revelation of hyunjin's buzzcut and after being inspired to write a longer hyunjin fan fiction. thank you jeonginsleftcheek for the latter (please go read hate your guts, it is such an amazing read!). i hope you all like this story! i started working on it the minute hyunjin's buzzcut was revealed, and i have continued it between writing the other fictions on my account, so it has been a while in the making. thank you in advance for reading and enjoy :)

divider by: @cafekitsune

the door to prism ink studio creaked open as you clutched your printed design like a lifeline. a scent mixed of antiseptic and ink filled the air, the smell surprisingly soothing your rampant nerves.

this was going to be an exciting day for you; today was the day you were getting your first tattoo—a delicate flower you had carefully crafted to celebrate the milestone. after hours of sketching, you had perfected it; each thorn and petal was drawn to represent your personality, your story even—a girl who, although tested and tried at times, stood strong and beautiful like a rose.

you were enthusiastic, over the moon even, to get your first tattoo; however, the moment your eyes landed on the man behind the counter, your stomach twisted.

hyunjin.

of course, it had to be him—the sharp-featured tattoo artist with a permanent smirk and a blonde buzz cut that somehow made him even more insufferable. he was leaning casually against the counter, tattooed fingers idly tapping on his phone and occasionally making the cool silver of his rings clink. as soon as he noticed you, his dark eyes sparked with recognition, and a grin curved across his lips.

you had to resist the urge to turn around and leave.

hyunjin was not just some run of the mill tattoo artist; he was the reason your best friend, nari, had spent weeks crying over her half-finished sleeve. he had worked on her design for months, only to ditch her for a "better-paying client" before finishing the job, as nari had told you. sure, nari eventually found another artist, who notably completed the work better than hyunjin could have ever, but the drama left a bitter taste in your mouth. now, seeing him here, smug and unbothered, made your blood boil.

"well, hello there, sweetheart," he said smoothly, tucking his phone into his pocket. "you lost, or are you here for a tat?"

you swallowed your irritation and forced a smile, although it was visibly faux.

"i have an appointment with changbin."

'ah," hyunjin drawled, leaning forward and perching himself on his elbows as he tsked. "sorry to break it to you, but binnie's out today. got the flu."

"oh." your heart sank. "should i just reschedule then?"

"well you could." hyunjin tilted his head, feigning his thoughts. "that would mean waiting at least two months, though. changbin's pretty booked these days."

you hesitated, the urge to leave growing stronger with every second you had to look at hyunjin's stupid face; however, you had planned this appointment for weeks and felt as if you had waited long enough.

"fine," you eventually bit out. "who else is available?"

"let's see," hyunjin trailed off as he looked to the sky in fake ponderation. "chan's booked all day, felix is on break...looks like you're stuck with me." his shit-eating grin widened.

"you're kidding." you froze, your eyes narrowing. of course this would be just your luck.

"afraid not." he pushed himself off of the counter, tattoos shifting along his forearms as he crossed them. "unless you're cool with waiting an eternity for changbin, i'm your guy."

every nerve in your body screamed at you to say no, but practicality won out.

"whatever." you sighed in a resigned manner. "if i have to, i have to. let's just get this over with."

"love the enthusiasm!" hyunjin teased, motioning for you to follow him. as you stepped into the back, the smell of ink grew stronger, and you swore you saw him smirking over his shoulder.

this was going to be a long session.

the station hyunjin led you to was annoyingly perfect. black leather chairs sat gleaming under the warm glow of hanging edison bulbs, and his setup was meticulous, with ink bottles lined up like soldiers and glinting under the light; his sketch pad rested to the side, flipped open and allowing you to glance at some of his work, from skulls to portraits. Despite your feelings on the artist, you had to admit that the space screamed professionalism.

"you can sit," hyunjin told you, pulling on a pair of black rubber gloves with a sharp snap. "or are you going to glare at me all session?"

"i'm not glaring," you shot back, giving him a look full of annoyance and impatience.

"sure you aren't." he smirked, motioning to the chair.

reluctantly, you sat down, clutching your design. he took it from your hand, his fingers brushing over yours for the briefest second but just long enough to send a spark of irritation through you.

"a flower," he mused, holding up the design to the light in order to inspect it. his dark brows lifted, and the faintest smirk played on his lips. "how original."

"i like it," you snarled through a clenched jaw.

"good thing that's all that matters." he tossed the paper onto the counter and grabbed a fresh sheet to sketch. "but this could use some life. where you want it?"

"my wrist."

“risky,” he warned. “one of the most painful places for a tattoo.”

“i like taking risks. what can i say?”

hyunjin did not respond; instead, his gaze lasered in on the design as his hand glided over the paper with practiced ease. you hated how skilled he looked, hated the way his lips pursed in concentration and his lashes cast shadows against his chiseled cheekbones. he had no right to be so ethereal while being such an insufferable person.

"i’m making the petals softer," he explained, spinning the sketch around to show you. the design had more depth now, with delicate shading and a subtle curve that made the flower look like it was swaying in the wind. "see? it looks better."

"it's fine, i guess," you muttered, refusing to compliment him. you hated to admit it, but he was right. his artistry complimented the design much better than yours ever could have the potential to, and it looked absolutely gorgeous.

"wow, try to hold back your excitement," he chuckled. "you'll hurt my ego."

you ignored him as he prepped the station, the buzz of the tattoo machine igniting a fresh wave of nerves.

"first tattoo?" he asked, snapping you out of your anxious thoughts.

"yeah," you responded shortly.

"though so." he crouched beside you, his face annoyingly close as he adjusted your wrist with a light grip. "relax, alright? it's not that bad. besides, you can't be scared of needles and be a bitch. pick one."

"excuse me?" you scoffed. "can you just do the tattoo without the comments?"

"where's the fun in that, sweetheart?" hyunjin laughed, the sound low and rich.

hyunjin grabbed a cleaning cloth and quickly dabbed it over your wrist. he then carefully, yet firmly, applied the stencil he had drawn out on the sterilized area.

“look good?” he asked, holding up a mirror so you could see the outline. you nodded, watching as he grabbed the tattoo needle after your response. he dipped it in a fresh bottle of black ink and aligned it carefully over the stencil; its first touch against your skin made you wince, causing hyunjin to pause. 

"you good?"

"fine," you replied, albeit through clenched teeth.

"alright. just breathe for me, princess."

"stop with the pet names."

hyunjin tuned out your last comment, already focused on the work at hand. his teasing demeanor slipped away as he worked. the machine's hum filled the silence as you watched hyunjin constantly wiping the tattoo needle clean, dipping it in different colored inks to complete the intricate shading he had added to the tattoo. for the first time, you saw a different side of hyunjin; he was calm, focused, and precise, completely contradicting his normal cockiness. after what felt like hours, he wiped the tattoo clean and leaned back, letting out a satisfied sigh.

"there. not bad for your first time, especially not for a wrist tattoo."

you glanced down at the flower blooming across your wrist, the details soft and intricate, exactly as you had hoped they would be.

"it's nice," you admitted begrudgingly.

"nice?" he raised a brow. "i'll take it. come back when you want another one. maybe get something less basic next time."

“doubt it,” you remarked, shooting him a glare. you swiftly strided to the door, preparing to exit; you did not get too far before hyunjin yelled after you.

“leaving without paying, sweetheart?” he inquired, stepping back behind the counter as he propped his chin up on his palm. you snapped your head in his direction, rolling your eyes as you let out an aggravated sigh. you pulled out your wallet, digging out three twenty-dollar bills and throwing them on the counter before turning to leave again.

“not so fast.” you stopped in your tracks, throwing your hands up in vexation.

“what now, fuckass?”

“only sixty bucks?” hyunjin counted the bills as if to accentuate his words. 

“yeah,” you obliviously responded. “that’s what the price estimate was when i talked to changbin.”

“i’m not changbin, princess,” hyunjin retorted, setting the bills down to the side. “for a two hour appointment, especially with that much detail, you’re looking at about a hundred and twenty for me.”

“a hundred and twenty?!” you repeated, your voice raising out of anger. “i don’t have that much on me!”

“well, you’re in luck,” hyunjin replied with a fakely sweet tone. “there’s an atm right behind you.” he pointed to the grey banking machine right behind you, making you groan in frustration. you stomped the couple of steps it took to get to the atm and infuriatingly inserted your card, extracting another set of three twenty-dollar bills and slamming them in front of hyunjin. the smug, amused smile he had on his face made you want to slap him.

“there. a hundred and twenty bucks. can i go now?”

“what? no tip?” hyunjin quirked an eyebrow, his lips curving as he watched your stature further enrage.

“assholes don’t get tips,” you retorted.

“makes sense as to why you’re so uptight,” hyunjin scoffed.

“oh, fuck off,” you turned towards the door, finally making your leave as hyunjin yelled out a comment about how you did not say he was wrong.

you swore you would never go back.

you convinced yourself that hyunjin’s smug remarks and relentless teasing were not worth the trouble. sure, his artistry was undeniably stunning, but facing him again? absolutely not.

yet, here you were, standing outside prism ink studio for your second appointment; thankfully, changbin was finally back, and he had some free time in his schedule. thus, he offered you what he called a “make-up appointment” to apologize for missing your first one. to make matters even better, you had specifically asked if hyunjin would be working that day, to which changbin assured you he was not. your optimism of avoiding hyunjin was high as the bell above the door chimed. stepping inside, you were greeted by the now familiar whiff of the shop.

"welcome back, princess."

you have got to be kidding.

hyunjin was behind the counter again, leaning casually like he owned the place. his buzzed hair was freshly cut, accentuating his chiseled features even more, and his colorful tattoos peeked out from the sleeves of his black shirt. he looked up from his phone, his smirk spreading when he saw you.

"what are you doing here?" you snapped, stepping forward. "where’s changbin?"

"number one, i work here,” hyunjin shot back sharply. “number two, he’s out sick again. i’m covering for him today."

you stared at hyunjin, disbelief and frustration warring in your gaze.

"seriously? he promised he would be here today! does he ever show up for work?"

hyunjin shrugged, clearly enjoying your annoyed stature. "he can’t help getting sick. no use in whining about it."

"whatever. when's his next appointment?" you clenched your fists tightly as you asked, digging your nails into your palms as a way to hold yourself back from unleashing all of your bottled wrath.

"let's see." hyunjin tilted his head, pretending to think. "a couple of months, give or take, but  you're in luck; i just so happen to have an opening right now. if you’re desperate enough, that is."

desperate was not the word, but the idea of pushing your design back another two months made you want to scream. it had taken you weeks after your first appointment to muster up the courage to get another tattoo, and the thought of waiting again was unbearable.

"you're really the only one available right now?” you questioned, sighing sharply.

"yup. seems like fate to me," he remarked, a wolfish grin prominent on his face. you thought fate seemed more like a cruel joke.

"fine," you snarled. "but this is the last time i’ll ever come to you for a tattoo."

"sure it is," he drawled, leading you to the back room.

the session started much the same as last time, with hyunjin throwing in a steady stream of comments designed to test your patience.

"another flower, huh? you're growing an entire garden," he teased, sketching out your new design.

"so what?" you muttered. "sure, flower tats are unoriginal, but they’re pretty."

"that's because i made them look pretty," he shot back. before you could retaliate, hyunjin spun his sketch pad around to show you his newly-crafted drawing. the design, which was a cluster of wildflowers trailing along your forearm, was breathtaking. It had depth, movement, and the same soft elegance as your first piece.

you hated how good hyunjin was at his job.

"it's alright," you shrugged, refusing to meet his eyes. hyunjin chuckled as he prepared his station.

"you are a terrible liar, you know that?"

hyunjin cleaned the area of your forearm the tattoo would be placed upon before placing the stencil on top of it. once you had confirmed the placement, he dipped the tattoo needle in an ink cartridge ; it touched your skin for a second round, a much more bearable and familiar sensation now. for the next hour, your focus was on any and every thing except the steady hum of the machine. your gaze kept trailing to hyunjin’s hands, which were warm and steady. you noticed how his concentration was absolute, fully devoted to his artwork. you could not stand how professional he could be when he was not preoccupied with driving you insane.

as he worked, your phone buzzed on the counter. hyunjin glanced at it, smirking as he read the notification.

"boyfriend checking in?"

"none of your business," you dismissed quickly, sitting up slowly and swiping your phone away with your free hand, careful not to make hyunjin jerk the needle.

"that's a yes, then," he remarked, his tone casual but sharp enough to cut. "wonder if he knows how much time you've been spending with me lately."

your heart undeniably skipped a beat, but you covered it with a glare of faux annoyance.

"i have spent two tattoo appointments with you, and you act like it’s been two weeks or some shit," you growled. "focus on the tattoo and not my personal life, please?"

"only because you said please, sweetheart."

when the session ended, you analyzed the tattoo; as with the first one, it was absolutely gorgeous, but you would never admit that to hyunjin. 

“looks nice,” you commented, though hyunjin caught the admirable glimmer in your eyes.

“yeah, yeah, i know you love it.”

“love is a strong word, fuckass,” you chuckled, knowing full well he was right. instead of responding, however, hyunjin handed you a business card with his number on it. 

"here. for appointments," he explained. “because i know after two flakes, you’re not gonna want to try changbin again.” despite his words, the gleam in his eye suggested he had other intentions. 

you took the card reluctantly, fully intending to never use it; however, as soon as you had paid and got to your car, you saved the number in your phone, giving hyunjin a contact name that you felt was fitting.

"fuckass."

the days after your second tattoo were quiet.

you could not stop staring at your phone, where hyunjin's number sat in your contacts under the hilarious nickname; at first, you had told yourself you would delete his number. having it felt unnecessary, especially considering his flirtatious manner paired with your relationship status. not to mention, you did not see the point in keeping the number of someone you could not stand.

but every time your thumb hovered over the delete button, something stopped you. maybe it was the nagging curiosity about his ulterior motives aside from “appointments.” maybe it was the urge to blow up his phone, bombarding him with a million questions about his work or about why he dipped out on nari. whatever it was, yet you refrained, keeping to yourself in an uncomfortable, deafening silence.

the last thing you were expecting that wednesday afternoon was a text notification, his contact name bolded above the messages icon.

fuckass: 'bet you're still admiring my work. don't forget to moisturize btw. wouldn't want the flowers to fade.'

you stared at your screen, incredulous.

you: 'how did you get my number? and do you text all your clients, or am i just lucky?'

his reply was instant.

fuckass: 'you put your phone number down on the information sheet before every session, dumbass. and i just text the ones who talk to me like i ruined their lives. it's cute.'

your fingers hovered over the keyboard, torn between ignoring him and firing back. against your better judgment, you chose the latter. against your better judgment, you chose the latter.

you: 'wow. professionalism really is dead.' fuckass: 'professionalism is boring. you would hate me more if I was boring.

you rolled your eyes at his response, tossing your phone aside and hoping that this conversation would be the end of your interactions with him.

spoiler alert: it was not.

over the next few days, hyunjin made it a point to text you almost every morning; sometimes, it was about your tattoos, and sometimes it was just to talk to you.

fuckass: 'favorite flower?' you: 'why?' fuckass: 'research for your next tattoo.' you: 'who says i'm coming back to you?' fuckass: 'you will.'

his confidence was maddening, but what was worse? he was not entirely incorrect.

you: 'daisies.'

one particularly bad day, you found yourself staring at his contact again, debating on whether or not to block him. the day was a disaster from the start: work was a mess, your boyfriend had not messaged you all day, and your anxiety was spiraling out of control.

to distract yourself, you scrolled through your messages, finding yourself rereading hyunjin's texts. against all logic, they made you feel...happier. his cocky attitude was infuriating, sure, but it was also humorous, almost grounding in a sense.

before you could stop yourself, your fingers were moving.

you: 'why do you always message me? you have to have a bunch of other clients you could be texting.'

his reply came within seconds.

fuckass: ‘yeah, but none of them are as fun to talk to.' fuckass: ‘don't get a big head about that btw. i can picture your smirk from here.'

despite what hyunjin thought via message, you were not smirking; you were smiling, the tension in your chest easing tremendously.

it was weird how the asshole always knew how to unintentionally make you feel better.

the weeks blurred together, each day filled with an irritating mix of responsibilities, and, somehow, more messages from hyunjin. he had worked his way under your skin in the most obnoxious way possible, texting you things at the most inconvenient times.

the weirdest part? it felt like hyunjin was texting you more than your boyfriend was. here recently, your boyfriend had gotten into a habit of going days, sometimes a week without responding to your messages; he always passed it off as you “overthinking” considering you lived together. yet, as the weeks went on like this, your gut began to unsettle at the feeling. you had thought about asking hyunjin for advice, if this was how guys normally acted; however, you subsided, letting the matter play out for itself. in fact, you were in the middle of staring at your phone, waiting for a message to pop up from your boyfriend explaining where he was at the hour. when your phone dinged, you became hopeful.

the wrong contact name popped  up, however.

fuckass: 'if you had to pick a tattoo right now without thinking, what would it be?' you: 'a stop sign.' fuckass: 'ha. ha. you're sooooo funny.' fuckass: 'seriously tho. what are you getting next?' you: 'don't you have actual clients to bother?' fuckass: 'i’ve already told you, sweetheart. you’re funner to talk to.' you: ‘funner isn’t a word.’ fuckass: ‘i’m a tattoo artist, not an english teacher.’

you did not understand how he had such a flaring ere to him. he had a sense of self-pride that was unmatched, and he talked to you as if it was a natural, flowing thing to do, despite the prior tension to your "professional" relationship. no matter how much you told yourself to ignore him, you never did. there was something infuriatingly safe about hyunjin. he was consistent, yet annoying in the same way every time you spoke, and he was oddly insightful when he was not messing with you.

if only his thoughtfulness could save you from the heartbreak about to ensue.

it was a saturday afternoon when the first red flag appeared. 

you were out with friends, sipping coffee at a small cafe, when your phone buzzed. you glanced at the screen, expecting it to be a social media notification or an annoying reminder to turn your volume down on your phone.

instead, it was a text message; a photo, to be precise.

fuckass: 'this your guy?'

the image was grainy, clearly taken from across the street. no matter the quality, however, you could recognize the face anywhere. 

it was unmistakably your boyfriend; he was smiling as he leaned in far too close to a girl who was not you.

you: 'what are you doing?' fuckass: 'saw him on my way back to the parlor after my lunch break. thought you should know.'

you stared at the screen, your vision blurring. part of you wanted to accuse hyunjin of lying, of stirring up drama just so he could get under your skin; however, you knew that the picture did not lie, that it could not lie.

your fingers shook as you typed out a reply, anger clouding your judgment against all odds.

you: 'stay out of my personal life.' fuckass: 'k. suit yourself.

as soon as you got home, your boyfriend called, acting as if everything was normal. his voice grated on your nerves, every word sounding like a lie. you wanted to confront him, to demand an explanation for the photo hyunjin had sent you, but the thought of it made your stomach churn.

instead, you found yourself rushedly hanging up the phone, claiming to be tired. you did not take a nap, though; you typed out a message to hyunjin.

you: 'do you have any proof that he's cheating on me? like hardcore evidence?' fuckass: 'thought i was supposed to stay out of your personal life?' you: 'i wouldn't ask if i didn't want answers.' fuckass: ‘why is the photo not “hardcore” enough?’ you: ‘idk, what if the girl’s like his cousin or something?’ fuckass: ‘why would he be that close to a cousin?’ you: ‘idk. i just need something else to prove it.’ fuckass: ‘you think i would lie to you about something like this?’ you: ‘hyunjin, please.’

it took a few minutes, but another photo came through. this one was clearer, sharper; your boyfriend was holding hands with the same woman from the previous picture. 

fuckass: ‘there. i ended up walking past them and snapped that.” fuckass: ‘i was trying to send you the one that would break your heart the least, but you’re fucking stubborn so there you go.’ fuckass: ‘there’s one of them kissing, too, but i’m not making you see that one.’

you stared at the picture for what felt like hours, your chest tightening with every passing moment. how could this be? how could the man who claimed to love you, who claimed he would give everything for you ruin your relationship in an instant? you felt your face go hot, tears streaming down your face as you sobbed to yourself.

you were broken out of your thoughts by another text from hyunjin.

fuckass: 'you okay?'

you did not reply. you did not know how to.

a week passed before you found the courage to do anything.

the photo sat on your phone screen like a tragedy you could not take your eyes off of. it was late, midnight to be precise, and well past the hour confrontations should happen; however you did not care. you had spent the past few days trying to ignore it, hoping it was not true, that hyunjin had misunderstood the circumstance. yet, the weight of the photo was overbearing, suffocating you each time you looked at it.

you paced your apartment as you waited for your boyfriend to return home; he had been out all day, doing only the good heavens knew what. every second ticked by like it was a warning. the image burned into your mind: your boyfriend's hand clasped around hers, his thumb just barely over her knuckles in a way he always did with you.

when his key finally turned the lock, your heart dropped to your stomach.

he walked in casually, kicking off his shoes without a second glance in your direction. 

"hey," he greeted, his voice neutral. "why are you still up?"

"where were you?" you asked, your voice sharper than you intended. "your schedule said you got off at 5:00. it's 12:00."

he froze for a split second before recovering, tossing his bag onto the counter.

"out with friends. why?"

"you didn't think to call?" you gripped your phone tightly, the corners of it pressing into your palm. "which friends were you with?"

he frowned, clearly caught off guard.

"why does it matter?"

"because i want to know who she is," you snapped, holding up your phone to show him the photo hyunjin had sent you. his expression shifted in an instant, his confident mask crumbling. he stared at the screen, his jaw tightening.

"the hell is this?"

"you tell me," you retaliated, your voice shaking with a mix of anger and heartbreak. "who the fuck is she? and don't you dare lie to me."

he stepped forward, his hands raised in mock surrender.

"baby, i promise you it isn't what it looks like."

"oh really? because it looks like you're holding her hand," you shot back bitterly. "and it also looks like you've been lying to me for only god knows how long."

"it's not-" he began, but you cut him off.

"don't," you warned, your voice breaking with each syllable. "don't you stand there and insult me with excuses. tell me the truth. are you cheating on me?"

the silence that followed the question was deafening. he looked away, his shoulders slumping.

"it's... complicated."

the world seemed to tilt beneath your feet; your head spun as you formulated a response.

"complicated?" you repeated, your voice hollow. "how is it complicated? you either cheated on me or you didn't."

he did not answer, but his silence was louder than any confession. your chest tightened, and tears burned at the corners of your eyes, but you refused to let them fall.

"i trusted you," you told him quietly, your barely-audible voice quivering as you spoke. "i gave you everything, and this is how you repay me?"

"it wasn't supposed to happen," he tried to claim, his voice nearing the octave of a whisper.

his response was all it took to break you. the tears spilled over, smearing your mascara down your cheeks; you laughed bitterly through the pain, almost sounding psychotic.

"i don’t know how being romantic with someone who is not your girlfriend isn’t supposed to happen, but congratu-fucking-lations. it happened." he stepped closer, but you backed away. "don't. get the fuck away from me, and get out."

"y/n, please-"

"i'm not going to say it again," you apprised, your tone crackling with rage. "get the fuck out of my house. we are over."

for a moment, he looked like he might argue, but then he nodded, grabbing his bag and his shoes and heading for the door. when it shut harshly behind him, the apartment felt unbearably empty, the quiet pressing in on you from all sides.

you sank onto the couch, your head in your hands, trying to breathe through the asphyxiating pressure in your chest. everything felt raw, like the air itself was too sharp against your skin.

disregarding how you felt in the moment, disregarding every ounce of pain coursing through you, your mind wandered to one thing: the only person who had warned you of what was coming, and the only person you knew could take away your sorrow in the moment.

hyunjin.

you found yourself self-consciously reaching for your phone; this time, there was no hesitation as you scrolled to his contact.

you: 'do you by chance have an opening?' fuckass: 'for you? always.' fuckass: 'everything alright?' you: 'just need a tattoo.'

you did not offer an explanation, and to your bewilderment, hyunjin did not push for one.

fuckass: 'come to the studio in a couple of hours. i’ll be here.'

the studio was quiet when you arrived; quiet was an understatement, as a matter of fact. there were no cars in the parking lot, and there seemed to be no one inside. you walked towards the entrance, your steps hesitant but purposeful. hyunjin was waiting for you at the door, the only semblance of life within the colorful building. his smirk was replaced with a look you did not recognize as he unlocked the door.

"you look terrible," he commented bluntly as you stepped inside; however, his tone seemed uncharacteristically soft rather than demeaning or teasing even.

"thanks. just what i needed to hear tonight," you mumbled, avoiding his gaze. "can i just get my tattoo?" hyunjin nodded, not arguing and leading you to his station without another word.

"i thought the studio would still be...y'know, open," you remarked, attempting to mask the quiver in your voice with the smug comment. "why did you tell me to come here after hours?"

"i always bring the prettiest clients here," hyunjin replied, his voice seeming more genuine and sweeter than teasing. "no, i just thought you could use the quiet. we were pretty busy today, and i didn’t want the noise to overstimulate you."

his care surprised you, and you found yourself nodding as you kept your gaze glued to the ground; however, your heart warmed at the gesture, at the smallest semblance that he did have some form of a heart.

"thanks."

"no problem. what's the design?" he inquired once you were seated. you handed him a rough sketch you had made a couple days prior as a way to distract yourself from what was happening with your boyfriend; it was a cluster of forget-me-nots, delicate and intricate.

"pretty," hyunjin remarked after a moment, his voice retaining its gentle demeanor. "why forget-me-nots in particular?"

"doesn't matter," you replied, your voice angrier than intended. hyunjin's lips twitched as if there was some sort of sarcastic comment waiting to spill out; however, he just nodded.

"alright. where do you want it?"

"here," you responded, gesturing to the inside of your forearm.

hyunjin studied you for a moment, his eyes searching yours. instead of pressing, he nodded once again and got to work sketching a stencil.

placing the outline onto your skin, hyunjin flipped on his tattoo gun, its hum filling the silence. for once, he did not try to distract you with his jokes or relentless teasing. his focus was unwavering, more so than usual, and his hands steadied as they moved over your skin.

when the needle paused, you looked up to find him watching you.

"what?" you questioned in a defensive manner.

"nothing." he shook his head, a small smile tugging at his lips. "you're just...quieter than usual. it’s weird."

"maybe i'm just sick of arguing with you." you swallowed hard, forcing the accumulated lump in your throat to stay down.

"i highly doubt that," he replied lightly, but the concern in his eyes lingered.

the machine's faint whir filled the tense quietude again as hyunjin resumed his work. you focused on the sensation, the rhythmic buzz and sharp prick of the needle pulling you back into the present.

hyunjin did not speak again until he wiped away the ink and inspected his progress.

"almost done," he commented, his tone calm. "how are you holding up?"

his question seemed to have a double meaning, and you pondered for a moment, wondering if he was referring to your tattoo or your personal life.

"fine," you lied, no matter what circumstance he was referring to. your voice was tight, and hyunjin tilted his head, clearly unconvinced but letting it slide.

"cool."

the final moments of the session passed quietly. when he finished, he leaned back and set the machine aside, turning your arm to show you the tattoo.

"there," he said softly, his tone almost proud. "whatcha think?"

you blinked down at the design, the intricate cluster of forget-me-nots etched delicately into your skin. they looked fragile but strong simultaneously, their soft edges balanced by the clean precision of hyunjin's linework.

they mirrored your current situation to a tee; you were vulnerable because of what had happened, yet you kept standing strong, refusing to blow over.

"it's beautiful," you whispered, your voice cracking on the last syllable. hyunjin did not respond, his eyes locked on yours as if they were searching for something.

that is when it happened.

the dam inside of you broke, the tears spilling over before you could stop them. you pressed your hands to your face, trying to conceal your sadness in order to keep the same strength the forget-me-nots were supposed to represent, but it was no use. the sobs came in waves, years of trust, love, and betrayal crashing down on you all at once.

hyunjin froze, his eyes widening into golf-balls. then, slowly, he leaned forward, his hands hovering just above your back as if he was not sure you would let him comfort you.

"hey," he called softly. "it's okay. let it all out, sweetheart."

"i...i don't even know why i'm crying. it's so stupid." you shook your head, the words tumbling out in broken stutters.

"it's definitely not stupid," he countered firmly, his demeanor low and grounding. "you're allowed to be angry, y/n."

"i feel so pathetic." you dropped your hand, meeting his gaze through the tears.

"well, you're not," he retaliated, his brows furrowing together. "you're human. and a human who has been through hell, at that."

the tenderness in his voice hit you harder than anything else, and before you knew it, you were leaning forward, burying your face in his chest as your arms snaked tightly around his waist.

hyunjin stiffened for a moment, then his arms came around you, strong and steady. he did not say anything; he just held you as you cried, his hand rubbing soothing circles on your back.

minutes passed, feeling more like hours, before the racing panic inside of you quieted. when you pulled back, your cheeks flushed in embarrassment.

"i'm sorry," you muttered, wiping at your face as your gaze quickly flickered away from hyunjin's. "i didn't mean to-"

"don't apologize," he interrupted softly but firmly. "seriously. you needed that hug." you nodded, unsure of what to say.

"you have a lot of people who care about you, y'know," he spoke after a moment, leaning back in order to give you space; although, his eyes never left you. "you don't have to go through this alone."

"funny." a small, humorless laugh escaped you. "that's exactly how it feels."

"i mean it," hyunjin responded quietly, his tone unwavering. "you are not alone. i don’t care how that douchebag made you feel. you are worth being cared about. you’ve got this, okay?"

for a moment, the weight of his words settled over you, heavier than you expected.

"thank you," you finally stated, your tone barely rising above a whisper. "you know, you aren't the asshole i thought you were."

hyunjin gave a small, genuine smile in response.

"i try not to be. i’m always here for you, princess."

the ride home from the tattoo shop felt heavier than usual, your arm wrapped protectively in the thin plastic film that hyunjin had meticulously applied. the air outside was crisp, the kind that made every breath sting just a little, yet, it did not distract from the hurricane of emotions inside of you.

it was not just your breakup, though the trauma of that alone was enough to leave you reeling. it was hyunjin; his words, his steady presence, the way he held you as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

for someone you had spent so much time resenting, he felt alarmingly like a safe space for you.

when you got home, the silence of your apartment felt suffocating. you dropped your bag by the door, staring at the faint outline of the couch where you had just laid hours earlier, crying your poor heart out from sheer betrayal. the memories lingered in the walls, in the spaces between the furniture, and it was all too much.

your phone buzzed in your pocket, pulling you out of your thoughts.

fuckass: 'make it home okay?'

the question was simple, but it hit harder than you had expected it to.

you: 'mhm, i got here alright.'

you hesitated before typing the next part.

you: 'thank you. for earlier.' fuckass: 'anytime.'

you stared at the screen for a moment, longer than you had intended to, before setting your phone down and heading to the bathroom. the forget-me-nots on your arm stared back at you in the mirror, their ethereal petals a sharp contrast to the rawness you felt inside of you.

but they were beautiful, and they were yours.

and for the first time that week, you felt the smallest flicker of hope.

the next few days passed in a blur. you threw yourself into work, hobbies, and anything else that would keep your mind from spiraling too far into its own mental traps. hyunjin had not been messaging, and you did not know whether to feel relieved or disappointed at that fact.

but you could not stop thinking about him.

you could not stop thinking about the tattoo or the way he had comforted you. you could not shake off the subtle shifts in his behavior, the way his teasing had softened into something resembling protectivity that night. you had spent years building walls around yourself, and somehow, without even trying to, hyunjin had started to tear them down.

you were not ready to face that music. not yet.

not until a week later, when you found yourself back at the shop. you had not planned the visit; your feet had carried you to the parlor before your brain could catch up with your actions.

the door jingled as you stepped inside, and hyunjin's head snapped up from the counter where he had been sketching. his eyes widened, and his lips quirked into a soft smirk.

"well, well, well," he smirked, a hint of surprise present in his voice. "trouble's back."

"don't sound so shocked," you shot back, though your tone lacked its usual sass.

"what? you miss me already?" there he was. there was the teasing guy you had grown to know, standing there as he crossed his arms over his chest. you rolled your eyes, but the corners of your mouth twitched upwards despite yourself.

"actually, i need to talk to you."

"about what?"

you hesitated, your fingers fidgeting with the strap of your bag. 

"the flowers you did. the forget-me-nots. they're absolutely perfect."

"yeah?" hyunjins smirk softened into something warmer, something legitimate. “looks like they’re healing nicely, too.”

"yeah," you agreed, meeting his gaze. "i just wanted to say thank you, but properly this time."

"don't mention it, sweetheart." he shrugged, but the way his eyes lingered on you betrayed his nonchalance. "it was nothing."

"but it was," you insisted. “it meant a lot to me.”

for a moment, the air between the two of you shifted, heavy with unspoken words.

"so," hyunjin started. "you want another one?"

"another tattoo?" you blinked at him.

"duh. unless you came here just to flirt with me," he replied, his playful smirk returning. you felt your cheeks heat up, and you cursed yourself for letting him get to you so easily.

"don't flatter yourself."

"too late," he responded with a grin, gesturing for you to follow him to his station. "you're in luck; i've got an opening, so let's see what you've got."

as you sat down, you could not help but notice how his demeanor had shifted. the cocky bravado was still there, but underneath it was something softer, something almost gentle.

something from that night was still lingering.

you pulled out your sketchbook, handing him the simple sheet of paper; the design you had chosen for this occasion was a simple daisy, its petals unfurling in soft, graceful lines.

"your favorite," he remembered, his voice seeming almost reminiscent; the way he had recalled the information made your heart jump, your body becoming overcome by a heat that was previously absent.

"any reason you chose this other than it being that?" his question fixed you back into reality; his eyes fixed on you, the orbs seeming as if they were searching your physicality for an answer.

"it's..." you hesitated, your fingers brushing the edge of the drawing pad. "it's for me. for everything i've been through these last few weeks. i get a lot of flower tattoos, yeah, but they all represent my strength. this one is a reminder that i’m still me." hyunjin nodded, his gaze softening.

"i get that."

there was something in his tone, something that made you glance up at him. for the first time, you realized how much you did not know about him, like who he was, where he came from, or what had shaped him into the person standing in front of you.

"have you ever gotten a tattoo for that?" you asked, surprising yourself with the question.

"maybe." hyunjin tilted his head, his lips quirking into a faint beam. "but you would have to figure out which one."

you rolled your eyes, but your curiosity grew.

“hm…that one.” you pointed to his forearm, where a dragon wrapped itself around his skin; the detail was intricate, almost as if the dragon was breathing fire in real time.

“very good, princess,” hyunjin smirked. “how’d you know?”

“lucky guess, i suppose,” you shrugged, smiling. “what’s it mean?”

“well, dragons are fierce animals,” hyunjin began. “i got this done after going through a breakup to remind me that i was tougher than i thought.”

"how ironic,” you responded with a dry laugh, to which hyunjin’s eyes brightened. “what's your favorite tat?"

"what's with the questions, sweetheart?" he questioned, his gaze turning cheeky once more. "finally warming up to me?"

"don't get ahead of yourself," you warned. "and i don't know. just curious i guess."

his expression shifted then, turning from bright to thoughtful as he turned his other arm over to reveal a small, delicate design on the inside of his wrist; it was a crescent moon, cradled by wisps of clouds.

"this one's my favorite," he told you softly. "did it on myself, actually."

"what's it mean?" you repeated the question, tracing the shape with your eyes, your heart tugging in a way you did not expect it to. hyunjin hesitated, his stare dropping longingly to the tattoo.

"i got it for my mom," he explained after a few brief moments of silence. "she used to say that the moon was watching over us both, no matter how far apart we were." the vulnerability in his demeanor caught you off guard, and for a moment, you were speechless.

"that's beautiful," you responded quietly. hyunjin shrugged, but his eyes stayed on the inked design.

"she passed a few years ago. i guess this was my way of keeping her with me."

your chest ached at the raw honesty in his words, and before you could stop yourself, you reached out, your fingers brushing lightly atop his wrist.

"i'm really sorry, hyunjin. i didn't know."

he looked up then, his eyes meeting yours with a softness that felt almost unbearable.

"it's okay," he replied. "it's nothing i really go about parading." the moment stretched between the two of you, silent and fragile, until he cleared his throat and pointed to his station. "i should probably get started on your sketch."

you nodded, sinking into the seat as he began to prepare.

the session went as the others with him had gone, adorned with teasing comments but finishing with a beautiful daisy coming to life on your right shoulder. the only difference is, when the tattoo was finished, you found yourself reluctant to leave. the shop felt warmer than the cold, biting air outside, and hyunjin's presence had a way of anchoring you in a way you had not expected.

nevertheless, you reached hesitantly for the door handle of the parlor, only stopping when hyunjin called for you; the door jingled a little as you opened it slightly before closing it once more, and you slowly turned your head in his direction.

"you gotta be hungry after that session, right princess?" he asked, snapping off his gloves and discarding them in a nearby trash can. you blinked in reply, a tad surprised by his question.

"i mean a little," you reluctantly answered. "why?"

hyunjin grinned, grabbing a ripped jean jacket out of the space behind the counter and slinging it over his shoulder.

"come on," he commanded. "there's a place around the corner that has killer ramen."

you hesitated; the idea of spending time with him outside of the shop felt both thrilling and dangerous. not to mention, you were incredibly skeptical of anyone's attempts to be nice after the revelation of your boyfriend's faux love.

"look, if this is just you trying to act on some sort of feeling because i'm single now-"

"it's not," hyunjin quickly interjected, correcting you as he scoffed. "just think of it as my treat to you. you've been through fuck knows what and i wanna give you something nice. is that so wrong?"

"when we're supposed to keep this relationship professional, just a little," you unintentionally snarled out.

"like i said," hyunjin started, leaning down to meet your height, "professionalism is boring. now, are we getting food or not? my break starts in a minute." you thought about it for a few moments, and before you could talk yourself out of it, you nodded.

"sure. why the hell not?"

hyunjin moved his arm down in a victorious motion, holding the door open and giving an 'after you' gesture as you joined him in the chilling wind.

the ramen shop was tucked away on a quiet street corner, its glowing LED sign swaying gently in the cold breeze. inside, the space was small and slightly closed-in, with warm lighting that bathed everything in a golden glow. the hum of soft jazz music mixed with the quiet clatter of chopsticks against bowls, creating a lively yet comforting atmosphere.

hyunjin led you to a booth near the window, shrugging off his jacket and sliding into the seat across from you. you hesitated before sitting, suddenly hyper-aware of how close you were to him in such a cozy, unfamiliar setting.

"order whatever you want," hyunjin told you, gesturing to the laminated menu.

you picked it up, scanning the options, though your focus kept shifting back to him. in the warm light, his features looked softer, less guarded. your eyes drifted from the contours of his jawline, to the tattoos decorating his arms and collarbones, back up to the strange beauty of his buzz cut. there was something disarming about seeing him out of his usual sharp surroundings; it was almost like seeing a different side of him.

"you're staring," hyunjin interrupted your thoughts, his eyes still fixated on the menu.

"i am not," you shot back, narrowing your eyes at his teasing smirk.

"sure, sweetheart. and i'm a model." you rolled your eyes, setting down your menu to look at the artist; his eyes were now on you, boring an unfamiliar look into you. there was a certain...sincerity to his cheeky manner, and the realization made your cheeks heat up.

he certainly could be a model.

"whatever," you mumbled. "i'm ready to order." upon your words, hyunjin waved over the waitress and gave her both of your orders with an ease that suggested he was a regular here.

when the food arrived, steam billowed from the bowls, carrying the rich aroma of miso and chili. hyunjin handed you a pair of chopsticks, and you both dug in, the first few bites melting away the lingering awkwardness.

"so, does the parlor know you bring your clients out to lunch, or are we keeping that secret?" you asked, breaking the silence with daring look at him.

"what do you mean clients?" hyunjin raised an eyebrow, adding extra emphasis on the plurality of the word. "i told you: this is just a pick-me-up for you. seeing you quiet is...weird. do you really think i'd go out of my way for everyone that comes to me for a tattoo?"

"i'm sure the charm works on everyone," you replied, rolling your eyes.

"awe, you think i have charm?" he tilted his head innocently, laying a hand over his heart.

"don't push it, hyunjin," you warned, holding up your chopsticks to punctuate your words. to your shock, he laughed; the sound was low and genuine, and it made your chest tighten in a way you did not expect it to. you shook your head, attempting to brush the matter off, but the small smile on your lips gave you away.

halfway through the meal, the conversation shifted, the teasing giving way to something that had been nagging at your mind since you began your appointments with hyunjin.

"nari came by the other day," you said, carefully testing the waters. hyunjin's chopsticks paused midair, and his expression flickered before he schooled it into something neutral.

"she did, did she?"

"yeah," you responded, picking at your noodles with your chopsticks. "whatever happened with that? y'know, her tattoo?" he sighed, leaning back in his seat and running a colorful hand over his buzzed head.

"i'm assuming she told you i bailed on it."

you halted for a moment, unsure whether or not to push on the matter.

"did you?" you questioned, finally looking up to make eye-contact with hyunjin.

"it's...complicated," he answered, his voice quiet.

"i am tired of hearing that from men," you scoffed, unintentionally directing your internalized anger from the week onto hyunjin. "that's not an answer."

hyunjin's jaw tightened, and for a moment, he did not say anything. when he finally spoke, his voice was calm, an edge of vulnerability beneath it.

"nari wanted something really intricate added onto her sleeve. she wanted a phoenix stretching across her entire arm, but halfway through, she changed her mind about the placement and the design."

"so you stopped?"

"i didn't have a choice," he explained, meeting your eyes. "i tried to explain how difficult it would be to start over after we had already done the outline, but she got upset. I told her we could redo it another day, but i guess she didn't take it too well."

"so, you didn't quit on her," you frowned, piecing the story together. "you just tried to be honest with her?"

"yeah," he answered softly. "i don't think she saw it that way though. she said i didn't care enough to finish it, and... i don't know. maybe she was right."

"that doesn't sound like you," you retorted before you could stop yourself.

hyunjin looked at you, his eyes searching your face for something; he was not exactly sure what it was, however.

"you don't even know me."

"maybe i don't know you," you admitted. "but i have interacted with you more than enough to know that you wouldn't give someone a half-finished tattoo without a reason." hyunjin's shoulders relaxed upon your reassurance, which told you that he appreciated the vote of confidence.

"looks like i was right: you are finally warming up to me, princess" he teased, his attention going back to his food.

by the time you left the ramen shop, the sky had morphed into a blanket of stars, the chill in the air biting at your skin.

"c'mon, I'll walk you to your car," hyunjin suddenly insisted, his voice casual but his eyes holding a quiet intensity. you nodded in reply, clasping your jacket tighter around you.

the walk was quiet, the kind of silence that felt comfortable rather than awkward. when you reached your vehicle, you paused before opening the driver-side door. you turned to face him, a small but appreciative smile on your face.

"thanks for tonight," you said gently. "i really needed that pick me up."

"anytime." hyunjin smiled, but it did not reach his eyes; instead, his already dark brown eyes had noticeably darkened, carrying a familiar, intense emotion within them.

the weight of his gaze made your breath hitch, and before you could stop yourself, you stepped closer, looking up at him with pure admiration in your gaze. his eyes flickered to your lips, his body tensing like he was holding himself back.

"don't," he muttered, his voice thick with something you could not exactly determine.

"don't what?" you whispered, a hand unconsciously placing itself on hyunjin's chest.

"don't look at me like that," he responded, brushing a stray strand of hair away from your face.

the air between you felt electric, every nerve in your body alive with anticipation. then, as if pulled by some kind of invisible force, your lips met his in a kiss that was slow, passionate, and filled with everything you could not put into words.

for a moment, the world stopped spinning. the only thing that existed was the warmth of his mouth against yours and the way his hand cupped the back of your neck like he never wanted to let go. every emotion you had felt was spilling over into the kiss; hyunjin was an absolute asshole at times, sure, but it was not in the way you had initially envisioned. he never had bad intentions, and his nature only came from the fact that he was an absolute tease with a difficult past.

you were falling in love with the enemy.

"look who's acting on feeling now," hyunjin smirked against your lips, going back in a second after saying it; however, his words contained a different sort of weight. the snapped you back into reality, and you pulled away from hyunjin, your heart racing from a blend of passion and anxiety.

you were falling in love with the enemy…and you were not ready to.

"i...i'm so sorry," you mumbled, your gaze going down to the ground.

"for what, sweetheart," hyunjin questioned, his tone breathy. "don't say for doing that without asking, because you have no idea-"

"i can't do this, hyunjin," you stammered, stepping back until your back was pressed against your car. "I shouldn't have kissed you. i’m not ready for something new."

“sweetheart-”

“no! this was a mistake!”

hyunjin's expression fell, a flicker of hurt crossing his face before he masked it.

"if that's what you think," he shrugged, his demeanor clearly painful. 

you did not know what to say, so you thanked him for the meal once more, your heart pounding as you disappeared into your car. hyunjin watched dejectedly as you drove off, his heart aching with the thought of what could have been.

or what could still be, as a matter of fact.

Taglist: @velvetmoonlght, @amararosesblog (If you would like to be added to the taglist, please let me know!)

[painted-flag]

A Preview

This man and his minute of screen time has managed to push me out of fanfic writing retirement. I do not care if he is not Benjicot - he will always be Bloody Ben to me. This is an unedited preview of what I am writing currently.

Anyways, this imagine was originally planned to be around 5k words but, as I started to plan and write, that has changed. It will be around 10k words. I'm still in the process of writing and then editing that, but here is a little preview of what's to come. (I'm also completely out of my depth in understanding on how to post on Tumblr, so apologies if things are formatted weirdly. I'm an AO3 cave dweller)

The loud clap of thunder followed in succession by the flashing of lightning illuminated the library of Dragonstone. In the late hour of the wolf, Daenys found herself entombed within the walls of parchment, scanning drawn-up battle plans and strategies written by maesters who had nary seen a single battle. The feeling of ever-present stress loomed over her, creeping from the shadows that were not illuminated by scattered candles. That feeling of anxiety - pressing down harshly on her chest - had been a footnote in her life. 

Daenys did not need to be a dragon dreamer, like her namesake, to see the future of her house. War was coming, that much was obvious. She knew at the age of nine that her mother’s claim would be challenged and since then her life had been spent preparing. The intensity of conflict did not matter, Daenys would be prepared regardless. So, much like most nights, she had settled herself among the pages of books. Her body, worn from training all day, had relished in the feeling of sitting down in a plush chair. 

The book in her lap, An Analysis of Ground Moves of the First Dornish War, had begun to kill her mood. The maestor who wrote it had no skill of explanation, nor seemed to have care for fighting in general. She cursed his weak analyses on certain moves and more outwardly she cursed the tone in which he wrote when speaking of her Targaryen ancestors - in particular the women. Daenys leaned back in her chair and repressed the urge to chuck to tome across the room. All that access to knowledge and training yet maesters still seemed to fall short. 

The echoes of footsteps sounded between claps of thunder. Daenys glanced up to see her mother. Rhaenyra had her hair down in light waves. The nightclothes she wore were made from black and red fabrics and stitched in the fashion of dragon influences style, part of a matching set that the two women shared. Her eyebrows were furrowed and her mouth set in a line. The heir apparent sat down in the chair beside her daughter and glanced at the book in Daenys lap. “The hour is late, yet you are out of bed?” 

Daenys’ arms rested on the book, “Sleep could not come.” 

“Or have you run from sleep? Increasingly so, as of late.” Her mother’s observation cut deep. It was true, for Daenys had become antsy. More and more nights were spent reading, and even more days training with the sword. Exhaustion had become her friend and respite her enemy. She felt behind, as her training had only started a few years prior - after years of requesting to learn. Any day a war could break, yet she sat about for most of her life doing nothing but sewing and other pointless tasks to be a good wife.

“Don’t you feel it, mother? That sinking feeling of... something clawing at your feet for that damned throne.” Daenys’ gaze rose to meet Rhaenyra. As her mother's only daughter by birth, they held a certain bond. The ability to understand what one another wished to say without so much as a word. A twitch of the brow, a quiver of the lip, or the tilt of their head was worth more than what any uttered words could convey. Mother and daughter, one unable to live without the other. Like bees and flowers or the moon and sun. A push and pull of exchange. 

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

That's a little sneak peak. I plan to have it finished in the next day or two - it largely depends on my coursework. Especially since I am entering my third year, things are getting heated.

[apothecaryscript]

Memo for Season 2 Ep.1 (Ep.25), The Apothecary Diaries

Here I’ll write about things I noticed, questions, and thoughts about each episode. I’m not sure if I can write about every episode, but I’d like to write as long as I have time. Most of what I write here is my personal opinion, so please forgive me if there are any misunderstandings. Questions about English are highlighted in green, so I would be happy if anyone of a native English speaker could tell me. I would also be happy if you would feel free to reply with your own thoughts and opinions.

猫猫「何をと言われましても。香油を作っております。医局を掃除していて、蒸留装置を見つけたので。先日、青薔薇(そうび)を作る際に用意した薔薇の余りです」

Maomao “Nani’o-to iware-mashitemo, koyu’o tsukutte-orimasu. Ikyoku’o soji-shite-ite, joryu-sochi’o mitsuketa-node. Senjitsu, ao-sobi’o tsukuru-saini yoi-shita sobino amari desu.”

Maomao “Why do you ask like that? I’m making scented oils. While cleaning up the clinic, I found a still. I’m using some of the blooms left over from the blue roses we grew the other day.”

何をと言われましても(なにをといわれましても/Nani’o-to iware-mashitemo);

This is a phrase Maomao sometimes uses, which literally means “Even if you ask me that…,” followed by words such as “it’s hard to explain,” “I’m in trouble,” or “you should know without asking,” and only the first half is said because she is hesitant to say the whole sentence.  If you say it when asked something, it sounds sarcastic because it contains the nuance that you don’t want to answer soon. In Maomao’s case, she seems to say it when she is wondering “Why do you ask me that?” or “It’s troublesome to answer,” or when she is trying to buy time while wondering what to say when asked something inconvenient.

ーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーー

猫猫「うわっ！これは実家からの荷物で、大したものではありませんので」

Maomao “Uwa! Korewa jikka-karano nimotsude, taishita mono-dewa ari-masen-node.”

Maomao “This is a package from my family. It’s nothing, really!”

実家（じっか/Jikka）: Parents’ house

There is no such word in English, but in Japanese we use it all the time. For example, 「今週末は実家に帰る予定だ（こんしゅうまつは、じっかにかえるよていだ/Kon-shumatsuwa jikkani kaeru yoteida）」:“I’m planning on going back to my parents’ house this weekend,” and we say 「帰る（かえる/Kaeru）」: “going back” instead of 「行く（いく/Iku）」: “going to.”

ーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーー

猫猫「後宮で問題なのは、性的に無垢(むく)なことが求められ過ぎていることです。後宮に集められる女官は、生娘(きむすめ)がほとんどです。帝のお眼鏡にかなったとして、無知なために粗相があったりしたら、不憫(ふびん)でなりません。事前に学習する必要があるかと」

Maomao “Kokyude mondai-nanowa, sei-tekini mukuna kotoga motome-rare-sugite-iru-koto desu. Kokyuni atsume-rareru nyokanwa, kimusumega hotondo desu. Mikadono omeganeni kanatta-to-shite, muchina tameni sosoga attari-shitara, fubinde nari-masen. Jizenni gakushu-suru hitsuyoga aru-kato.”

Maomao “The problem with the rear palace is that the women are expected to be excessively innocent in matters of sex. Most of the ladies-in-waiting gathered here are virgins. What if the emperor finds a girl to his liking, only to have her fail to perform due to her ignorance? That’s why I thought they need to be educated beforehand.”

生娘（きむすめ/Kimusume）: virgin

This is an old word, so young Japanese such as teenagers probably don’t know. We usually use 「処女(しょじょ/Shojo)」 for “virgin,” although we don’t say such a word loudly, of course…

ーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーー

猫猫（そこか…。実はむっつりなのかと思った）

Maomao (Sokoka… Jitsuwa muttsuri-nanokato omotta.)

Maomao (That’s what he noticed? I thought maybe he was a closet pervert.)

The word 「むっつり(Muttsuri)」 means to be silent without any words, but here it’s used as an abbreviation of the slang 「むっつりスケベ(Muttsuri-sukebe)」. I found it interesting to know that there is such a word in English. 「スケベ」 is a slang word for “someone who likes to think about sex all the time.” 「エッチ(Ecchi)」 is almost the same. Recently the word 「変態(へんたい/Hentai)」 has become known overseas, but there are big difference between “sukebe/ecchi” and “hentai.” “Sukebe/ecchi” are simply someone with a strong sexual interest, but “hentai” is someone who has a unique taste that is different from the normal, for example, exhibitionism… When I look at English subtitles for anime, most of the time it is translated as “pervert,” so there may not be a difference in English, but in Japanese, being called “hentai” is much more insulting than being called “sukebe/ecchi.”

ーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーー

小蘭(シャオラン)「ハァ…。ああ、綺麗な花が咲くその下に、私は何を求めるのか…。フフフフ。ねぇ、一体何が埋まってると思う？」

Shaoran “Haa… Aa, kireina hanaga saku sono shitani, watashiwa nani’o motomeru-noka… Fufufufu. Nee, ittai naniga umatteru-to omou?”

Xiaolan “Oh, what is it that I seek, beneath those beautiful flowers? Hey, what do you think is buried there?”

→In the original light novel, Xiaolan eats “baked goods,” and I imagined cookies or rice crackers, but in the anime, it’s replaced with a steamed meat bun, making her look more comical. Xiaolan is so cute!

ーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーー

猫猫「う～ん。馬糞(ばふん)？」

Maomao “Uuun. Bafun?”

Maomao “Huh. Manure?”

→The original light novel explains why Maomao answered horse manure, and the reason is that for beautiful flowers to bloom, there must be good fertilizer buried in the soil.

ーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーー

貴園「高順様が、新しいのができたらまた配ってくださるって」

Guien “Gaoshun-samaga, atarashii-noga dekitara mata kubatte-kudasarutte.”

Guiyuan “Master Gaoshun said he’ll hand out the next one when they’re ready.”

I thought, if I wrote “he’ll” on an English test at school, my teacher would definitely say that the future tense was wrong and the correct answer was “he would,” and deducted points. I was taught that the tenses must have been always consistent in the same English sentence. Is it okay in real English conversations?

ーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーー

桜花「うわ～、そんな面倒なことやるの？」

Infa “Uwaaa, sonna mendona koto yaruno?”

Yinghua “Yikes, that sounds like a lot of work!”

I thought this line was being said to me, the writer of this blog… I once received a comment on my Demon Slayer account saying, “If it wasn’t copy and paste, well done.” Rather I would like to know if there is a way to copy and paste…lol

ーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーー

玉葉妃「猫猫は花や生き物に詳しいから、散歩のときに鈴麗に教えてあげてくれる？」

Gyokuyo-hi “Maomaowa hanaya ikimononi kuwashii-kara, sanpono tokini Rinrī-ni oshiete-agete-kureru?”

Concubine Gyokuyou “Maomao, you know a lot about flowers and creatures. Can you teach Lingli while we’re outside?”

I thought “we’re” should have been “she’s” or “you’re” since Concubine Gyokuyou wouldn’t go with them.

ーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーー

壬氏「ハァ…。わからなくもない気がしてきた」

Jinshi “Haa… Wakara-nakumo-nai kiga shite-kita.”

Jinshi “I’m starting to see it, too.”

I’m sure many of you feel the same way, but this was the scene I was most looking forward to in this episode. I really liked how Jinshi was portrayed with such expressive faces. In the original light novel, the quack doctor and Gaoshun were so fond of cats that they ended their sentences with “にゃー(Nyaaa)”: meow, and after Jinshi put the kitten on his face Gaoshun said “What were you doing?”, glaring him with a look of envy on his face. I would have liked to see that in the anime as well.

ーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーー

My overall impression after watching the first episode is that all the characters are cute! Especially Xiaolan and Shisui. Also, at the end of the OP video, when wet Maomao and Jinshi turn around, the picture and the colors are very cute. I think it’s a scene that fans who know the original work are looking forward to, and it will be the most exciting part of the first half. I’m really happy that I can watch a new episode every weekend for the next six months.

[a-soft-hornytiny]

3:20AM.

Genre: Fluff

Pairing: Seonghwa x female!reader (or reader with boobs)

Notes: this was requested by an anon! Its short but sweet. I thought this would be a perfect release for Hwa day. Happy birthday my love!! Boob cuddles for daysss

Taglist: under the cut (let me know if you want to be added)

———————————————————

You had just finished cleaning the bathroom when you heard the front door open. A smile flashed over your face instantly . It was late and you had already awaited his arrival at home for hours. “Seonghwa?” You called through the corridor while washing your hands. But you got no answer, instead you heard his shoes falling onto the floor, his jacket following immediately after. 

You left the bathroom after drying your hands off and met him in the living room. He smiled at you tiredly. You immediately went from happy to see him to worried about him and rushed over to embrace him in a big hug. 

“What’s wrong darling?” Instead of answering, he buried his face deeper into your neck, wrapping his arms around you. You gently put one hand on top of his head and stroked his hair slowly. It was still silky, even after a long day, and felt soft under your touch.

A few seconds of silence passed before he carefully removed himself. His eyes were slightly red and his cheeks puffed. His shoulders were slouching down and it looked like he had no strength left. 

“Everything hurts.” He stated, falling onto the couch afterwards. You gave him a pitying smile before sitting down next to him.

“Can I get you something? A drink? Snack?” You asked, gently taking his hand into yours. He immediately intertwined his fingers with yours and firmly held onto your hand. 

“Can you just stay and cuddle me?” His eyes were big and glassy, causing your heart to melt. You instantly pulled him closer and gave him a kiss on his head.

“Of course my love.” You answered. Seonghwa chuckled at the nickname, shuffling against you to find a comfortable position. It wasn’t long until he found his head laying on your chest, burying his face in your boobs. You chuckled. 

“So that was your intention?” You gently caressed his neck, running your fingers through the back of his hair. In response he just hummed against your skin. 

“Do you know how adorable you are?” You asked, not expecting an answer. The way he was curled up half next to, half on top of you, his head lying on your chest, made you incredibly happy. You were glad to be his comfort. His safe haven. You let out a happy sigh, making him look up. 

“I’m gonna get a sugar shock from your cuteness.” You said before pressing a kiss on his forehead. Seonghwa blushed and immediately went back to hiding his face in your chest, but his red ears gave it away.  You continued massaging his head until you felt him get heavier. He had fallen asleep. Men are so easy to please you thought smiling, before this feeling of comfort and warmth rose into your head, making your eyelids heavy.

——————

Tags: @jonghoisbabie @multidreams-and-desires @little-precious-baby @yunhofingers-writes @serialee @crimsonbubble @cometoceantrenches @em--ilysm @deja-vux @kawaiiloli00 @ddeonghwva @aaaaajonghooooo @sansbun @cookies-n-joong @plonys @hijirikaww @nari-nim @yunkiwii @mingi-ivity @racheloveyunho @seongsangsgf @jhmylove @lizsvcks @yunhobabygurl @leoninadecorazones @kerra-that-one-random-fangirl @star1117-archives @hoshischeekss @yeosangsbiceps @euphoric-emily16 @anyamaris @shinestarhwaa @seomisaho @starillusion13

——————

[theeccentricraven]

The 18th Day of Writemas 🎄🎅🤶💚❤️👩‍💻

Wow day 18 already! If the 12th day of Christmas gives twelve drummers drumming, should the 18th day of Writemas give 18 writers tossing computers? 😁Thank you @agirlandherquill for setting up Writemas! 🤍❄️☃️🌟If you would like to know the rules and join, all that you need is in the invitation post

For the Day 18 writing prompt, I chose the setting prompt of a home. I decided this would be the perfect moment to write a scene from my YA Dystopia/Survival story Sanctuary Calling. Nari lives in a biodome on futuristic Mars in a community dominated by people with Korean heritage. This scene is from early in the novel, like Chapter 2. The conversations foreshadow what's in store.

___________________________________________________________

My parents and I retire to our home - room 1414 of the Pyeongchang Condominium. The building is based on the architecture of postmodern Korean buildings on earth. The lobby is a vertical garden. Vines and moss cover a wall. The fountain in the lobby releases the peaceful sound of nature, like we’re living in a forest. Inside our unit, we feel warmth and comfort. My family’s living room is full of potted plants and shelves of Korean celadons. A screen covers the entire wall near the entrance. The current image is the human avatar of our home AI who we call Cho. She looks like she could be my older sister if I had one. Whatever we need, we ask Cho and she makes it happen.

“Cho,” says my Mom. “Cook up some naengmyeon.”

I go to my bedroom to read over the orientation chip. My room is clean as I like it. The walls populate shelves where I keep my childhood dolls and models of my plane. I keep a chest of plane parts that I plan to bring down to the shop. One wall is covered by a screen, currently featuring the human avatar of my personal AI - Jin. He’s a spunky looking boy who looks like he could be my brother if I had one. At my desk computer, I plugin the chip. The orientation holograms begin to play. I watch the reels introducing the Lunar School of Engineering and Technology. The videos came with sensory emitters that give a smell and taste of the place along with the sights and sounds. I see students working on robotics, spacecrafts, and micromachines. I smell the roses and irises of the school’s gardens. My excitement grows by the second. 

“Nari,” says Jin, smiling on the wall. “Dinner is ready.”

I go into our dining room. The robotic arms of Cho set the table. Even though Cho did the cooking, I follow the etiquette to respect my parents by saying, “I will eat well.”

My parents are pleased as we sit down. Since my dad is the oldest, he eats first, taking in a few sips of soup. My mother follows. Then me.

“You were the star of the show,” my mother says gleaming.

My dad puts down his spoon for a moment to say, “Now I’m going to brag about you with my colleagues.”

“Oh,” says my mom, “I’m going to tell Brynhild that the best student of this year is mine. Best aviator. Youngest of her class. Going to college at only fourteen.”

I smile as I take a tiny bite of rice. 

“However,” my mother lowered her voice, “I still worry about you being in a place where there’s no one your age. All adults and doing adult activities. And so far away on Luna.”

“I’ll be fine, Mom,” I say. “I’m going to be so busy studying anyway. The staff will also know my age. They’ll make sure no one bothers me. Also, I’ve heard of some other gifted students who went there early. A seventeen year old. A sixteen year old.”

My mom shakes her head. “Nari, for your safety, don’t go on dates with anyone older than you.”

I laugh. “No argument here. Like I said, studying.”

My mom nods. “That’s a smart move, Dear. You can’t let that interrupt your studies and possibly your career. As your father and I could tell you as anyone who has ever been in love can tell you, when you are in love, you’re willing to sacrifice anything for it.”

I roll my eyes. I smile as I add, “I’d only date a guy who's into airplanes, anyway.”

My mother and father look at each other. My mom nods once. My dad nods back.

“Nari, Dear,” he says to me. “Your mother and I want to tell you something.”

I had picked up my chopsticks, but now put them down. 

My dad studies each grain of rice on his dish as he says, “After you graduate from the Lunar school, you could apply for medical school and make it in quickly….”

I pick up my spoon. I bend it. The best way to imagine that I’m tearing something apart. 

Despite my anger, my mother pipes in. “You could also study only one or two years at the Lunar school before you transfer…”

I’ve just about had it. Not a meal goes by without my parents saying it’s not enough. I need to be a cardiologist like my dad. Or I need to be better than my dad and be a surgeon. I gave up trying to win the argument a long time ago. The best I can do is amuse myself.

I laugh harder. “Oh, I’m sorry. You meant to send a text to the Kang family about how their son was accepted into the Ivy Martian Medical School! Let’s go downstairs to congratulate them!”

My dad curls his lips. “Nari! This is serious. For one who accomplished so much, you’re selling yourself short.”  

I grit my teeth. “Joo is selling himself short? How can you be so judgmental!”

My mother widens her eyes. “Don’t talk to your father like that!”

I gave up a long time ago. There’s no point in letting this go on for hours. I leave my spoon and chopsticks at the side of my bowl. I haven’t followed etiquette since the few bites I took left plenty of leftovers, but I don’t care anymore.

I stand up. “I ate well!”

I storm off to my bedroom. 

I crash on my bed, taking in the warmth of my puffy white comforter. I cry as I think about how I can’t wait to go to Luna. I just want to get away from my parents. Thankfully, my scholarship includes a meal plan.  For once, I’ll finally have a meal without the arguments over how my first choice was their second choice and I was too good for the second best. 

I wish Soo was here so that I can just rant with her. 

___________________________________________________________

Tagging mutuals! (No obligation to join) 🎁🔔🛷🐑🍬🕯️🦌🎼🍂

@sleepyrxsetea @edstoriesblog @thecomfywriter @pen-for-sword @toribookworm22

@sunflowerrosy @furrywrit3r @wyked-ao3 @selenekallanwriter @drchenquill

@revenantlore @whatwewrotepodcast @jay-avian @constellationandcompendium @olivescales3

@ryns-ramblings @primroseprime2019 @illarian-rambling @kaylinalexanderbooks @kitty-is-writing

@kitkins13 @buffythevampirelover @willtheweaver @poethill @acmartin

@apolline-lucy @elizaellwrites @gioiaalbanoart @orphanheirs @pluppsauthor

@cowboybrunch @leahnardo-da-veggie @dandelion-jester @aalinaaaaaa @faeriecinna

@brynwrites @somethingclevermahogony @rickie-the-storyteller @raevenlywrites @winterandwords

@happypup-kitcat24 @the-golden-comet @ddgraywrites @autism-purgatory @mxxnwishes

@tildeathiwillwrite @screamingatanemptyroom @kbwritesstuff @spookyceph @pluto-murphy-writes

@talesofsorrowandofruin @kaylark @sleepywriter00 @americanfemcel @fairy-tales-of-yesterday

@inkednotebook @the-letterbox-archives @laureleavess @simonnebethel @forthesanityofsome

@melpomene-grey @creatrackers @stephtuckerauthor @theink-stainedfolk

@g0ttest0d @infinnative @little-peril-stories @lyneidas @late-to-the-fandom

@author-a-holmes @alinacapellabooks @stesierra @stephtuckerauthor @unrepentantcheeseaddict

@csdarkfantasy @watermeezer @distortedsense @sarahlizziewrites @ceph-the-ghost-writer

and open! 🧝🍒🥧🌰

[directionerplusgleek]

2024 Writing Year in Review

Thank you so much for tagging me @fili-is-gone ! But oh boy, this is gonna be long...

The start of the year was fairly normal, but then I participated in things like AU-Gust, Flufftober, and Fluffcember... There are numbers there.

February

Not My Type - Thomally, modern AU. My first posted Maze Runner oneshot.

March

Hips - Thomally, modern AU

Be Our Guest - Luca/Reader, The Bear (First chapter posted Dec 2023)

April

Thomally Week

Guarded (He)art - Thomally, modern AU, artist Thomas and bodyguard Gally (Ongoing)

Pixie Dust - Thomally, modern fantasy AU, pixie Thomas. Part of an ongoing series of fics that I'm absolutely in love with

The Lies of a Mirror - Thomally, modern AU

To Hunt and Fall Prey - Thomally, supernatural, incubus Thomas and hunters Gally, Minho, and Alby (Two more chapters to be added soon-ish)

Safety in the Dark - Thomally, post-canon

No Matter the Distance - Thomally, high school/college AU

Like a Cat - Thomally, modern AU

In the Shadows - Thomally, post-canon, vampire Gally (First chapter posted Jan 2024)

May

Rarepair Bingo

For Once in My Life - Vinge, post-canon

Meet Me - Alby/Harriet, 50's Greasers AU. The first of a few fics in which Gally, Thomas, Newt, Minho, and Teresa all work at Alby's mechanic's workshop

Be Mine - Brendinho, 50's Greasers AU

What You Want - Garis, post-canon. The beginning of an obsession

A Chance to Try - Brenderesa, canon compliant and post-canon

You Took My Breath Away - Minally, canon compliant

Show You My Love - Gally/Minho/Newt, modern AU

I Died and Yet I Live - Brenda & Newt, post-canon, Newt lives

Never Alone - Naris, 50's Greasers AU

Why Can't We Be Like That? - Thomally, modern AU, hidden relationship (Ongoing. First chapter posted April 2024)

June

Pride Month Bingo

Something to Tell You - Lucus, The Bear. Another obsession began here

In Your Head - Minally, post-canon. Inspired by @scorchedmazes and @winged-bat

Boys, Interrupted - Thomally, 50's Greasers AU, 5+1 things

July

After Forever, Forever After - Lucus, The Bear, post-S03E10

August

AU-Gust; a month of posting a fic every day

Don't Look at Him (Look at Me) - Unrequited Gallesa, post-canon, everybody lives

Blue - Minally, post-canon, soulmate AU

A Safe Haven - Naris, dark academia AU

Take the Long Way - Minewt, zombie apocalypse

A Game of Strategy - Ava and Janson play chess

The Rose - Newthomally, The Bachelor AU

Almost Perfect - Minewt, farm AU

It's a Trainwreck, and I'm the Train - Thomas reflects on his mistakes, modern AU

Babysitting - Thomally, modern AU

The Enemy of My Enemy - Newthomally, future war AU

Cold Feet - Thomally, retail AU

Missing You - Nally, modern AU. The beginning of an obsession with a pairing most people seem not to engage with, but I love them too much to care.

Sparks - Minally, modern AU. Animagus Minho

Her Brother - Nally, royalty AU (Ongoing)

Secrets - Minally & Newtmas, modern AU

Out of this World - Thomally, modern AU. Brothers Gally and Chuck, my precious

Say it with Flowers - Minewt & Thomally, modern AU

A Ghost - Vinge, space AU

I Spy - Minewt & Thomally, modern AU

Seeking Serenity - Minalby & Thomally & Vinge, Firefly AU

Protect You - Garis, fantasy AU

Movie Night - Minewt, modern AU, orphan Newt

Music to My Heart - Thomally & Minewt & Brenderesa, musician AU

Fantasy - Thomally, modern AU

Stress Test - Aris/Gally/Thomas, scientist AU

Meet Your Hero - Minewt & minor Thomally, time-travel AU

Beating Wings and Hearts - Thomally & Minewt, wingfic. (Ongoing, more to be added)

Nurse Please - Minewt, post-canon, Newt lives

You Come Here Often? - Thomally, modern AU

Petal and Patch - Nally, post-canon, everybody lives

September

Deserve It - Nally, modern AU, based on the Tanner and Joseph text chain video

Soultember

Questions - Garis, post-canon, soulmate AU

Beaten and Bruised - Thomally & Brendinho, soulmate AU

October

Flufftober; a month of posting fluff fics

Feo - Brenderesa, modern AU

Corn Maze - Thominally, modern AU

Cardamom - Lucus, The Bear

Maker's Market - Nally, modern AU

Tokens of Love - Thomally, post-canon

Prisoner of Love - Newthomally, modern AU. The first in a few fics surrounding the beginning of their relationship as a three.

Hoodies - Lucus, The Bear

Chocolate Kisses - Vinge, modern AU

Let You Help - Minewt, post-canon. Sequel to Nurse Please

Competition - Thominally, post-canon

Fairy Dust - Thomally, modern fantasy AU, sequel to Pixie Dust

Coffee for Three - Newthomally, modern AU, part of the series

My Attic - Vinge, modern AU

Get in My Way - Minally, DnD/fantasy AU

Laundry Day - Newthomally, modern AU, part of the series

Maybe - Garis, modern AU

Sleep Through - Thominally, post-canon

Bewitched - Brenderesa, modern fantasy AU, further Pixie Dust fic

Self-Care - Vinge, modern AU

The Paw of Friendship - Newtmas, modern AU

Fires Everywhere - Nalby & Thominally & Vinge, canon compliant and post-canon

To Remind You - Jorge and Minho father/son, modern AU

Signs of Life - Thominally, post-canon

Shakshouka - Lucus, The Bear

Take a Bite - Minewt & Thomally, modern AU, vampire Newt

Tell Me a Lie - Nally, modern AU, soulmate AU

Infant Simulator - Minally, modern AU

Organ Donors - Minally, modern AU, biker Minho

When We're Twenty Five - Garis, modern AU

Minimal(ly) - Minally, modern AU. Based on a typo from the Discord

Wishful - Thomally, post-canon

November

Anything for You - Vinge, modern AU. Written for @nxwtonsxngster

Please bear with me while I reblog my own post to add December because I've hit a limit I didn't know existed; no more than 100 links per post...

[miitgaanar]

@soartfullydone asked:

No. 21: “See the chains around my feet.”

Vows | Restraints | “Don't move.” - Lemuel/Bastion

So. Uh. This was a whumptober prompt. But every month is whumptober if you really want it to be.

Anyway. I've dedicated the last eleven years of my life to trying to figure out how Lemuel Adelier ticks. I hate to admit that Bastion's been woefully neglected on my end. My studies did not include this bird man.

This was also my attempt to practice writing a fic that is decidedly not 4,000 words. I need to get better at writing shorter pieces, damnit.

I'm sorry to anyone who decides to read this. lmao

***

"Don't move."

Bastion Winalils lifted his hands in the air as if in surrender, though his shoulders remained rounded and a heavy, bored sigh escaped him.  He could feel the tip of a blade digging into his back, the steel cold and sharp.  It would be simple enough to offset out of harm's way, to vanish from his assailant's view within the span of a breath—only to then reappear behind him and rip the air from his lungs.

But that would be too simple, and this particular assailant too fun to poke and prod like a rabid beast.

"Is that any way to greet a friendly face, Captain Adelier?" Bastion intoned, daring a glance over his shoulder.  Adelier's face was stone, his eyes hard and his mouth a firm, thin line.  A roguish grin lit up the Black Tongue's pale visage.  "And here I thought we had developed a rather cordial working relationship."

"I didn't call on you, Ilgan Yag," Adelier spat, as if the word were poison upon his tongue.  Oh, if only.  "You'd best have good reason for defiling the Temple grounds with your stench."

"Does Ssael not open his doors to everyone?" Bastion needled further.  He was rewarded with the tip of the sword pressing harder into his back.  His grin only widened.

"Not everyone," Adelier ground out.

"A pity.  A convert might very well have been lost this day."

"Enough.  Do not toy with me.  I'm in no mood."

That much was clear.  Though Bastion couldn't say he'd ever caught the Soud in a particularly receptive mood. 

"Fine, then," Bastion said, lowering his arms to play at adjusting the hem of his gloves.  A show of nonchalance, though his lips remained upturned in thinly veiled amusement.  "Perhaps you can help me."

"I'd rather help a sow find her bliss," Adelier said flatly.

"Come now," Bastion said, turning on his heel to face the Soud.  The blade remained level with his chest, those piss colored eyes boring into him with a fearsome ire, but he was otherwise unmolested.  "I'm just following a bit of gossip.  I simply wished to confirm it at the source."

Adelier's brow rose a fraction, inquisitive.  Bastion had to smother the smirk that begged to take shape.

"What sort of gossip?"

"The most interesting kind," Bastion continued.  "There's been talk of a caster amongst your lot.  Talented, it seems.  Can cast with nary a word spoken."

Adelier flinched, his blade faltering slightly.  A surge of satisfaction flooded Bastion's veins, and that smirk appeared unbidden.

"Tacit casters are incredibly rare," he explained, the words laced with a not so subtle taunt.  "Not to mention innate tacits.  So of course I had to follow the trail and see for myself.  Color me surprised when the source turned out to be the Lion's very own Delight."  The moniker came out with more bite than he had intended, but the scars at his back itched, and only now did some relief for that old wound appear to be at hand.

Adelier's face seemed to blanch, though it was difficult to tell in the dim light of a looming dusk.  "I don't know what you're talking about," he said, the words gruff and forced.

"Your niece has been very busy, it seems," Bastion continued undaunted, his gaze flickering down to examine his nails.  "Though I suppose she'd be your daughter now, yes?  Congratulations on the nuptials, by the way.  I would have sent a fruit basket had I been informed."

In a flash, Bastion found himself with that same blade pressed to his throat, the steel bitingly cold against his warm flesh as Adelier closed the short distance between them.  Adelier was fairly agile for a man of his build.  He had begun to harden himself in the few years since that dark, snowy night, the almost lithe form he had once sported now showing more bulk.

He should only know that his brutish ways would not save him—or her—should Bastion will it.

"I swear to God," Adelier rumbled, his breath fogging the air between them.  "If you so much as come within ten yards of her, of any of them, I will flay you alive and leave you for your hallowed crows."

They stood almost nose to nose, close enough that Bastion could see the ragged edges of the ugly scar carved into the Soud's face.  It twisted with the scowl that pulled at his countenance, turning his handsome features into something unsightly.  That same petty satisfaction thrummed hotly beneath his flesh.

Bastion allowed himself a soft chuckle, the minute movement causing the sharpened edge of the sword to dig into the skin of his throat.  A bead of blood welled under the blade, slowly trailing down the Black Tongue's neck and pooling within the hollow of his clavicle.  Fury danced in Adelier's eyes, his piercing gaze seeming to pulse a fiery gold.

But before he could make good on his threat, or at the very least slit Bastion's throat from ear to ear, Bastion held his hands up once more as if in surrender—though his smirk did not once falter.

"Promises, promises, darling," he said, his tone light and taunting, and grabbed for the hilt of the sword.  His free hand reached for that ever immovable silver torc at his neck and murmured something near inaudible, though loud enough for the khert to heed his call.

Adelier dropped the blade as if burned, the hilt glowing a bright orange and sizzling softly against the frost dusted ground—but before he could fully draw that second dreadful sword, Bastion had already vanished from view, his laughter echoing endlessly into the khert itself.

[blackjackkent]

Further investigations into Father Lorgan's murder:

Rakha talks to a fellow in the kitchen (the very Brother Donnick responsible for SOUPS OF THE REALMS BY BROTHER DONNICK), from whom she learns that a) nobody much likes Valeria the Hollyphant investigator, b) Brilgor was a nice guy who "didn't seem like the murdering type", and c) his only likely theory for Lorgan's enemies were the people who didn't like that he was nice to the refugees.

In spite of my dismissive tag on my previous post, I think Rakha's fascination with the religion of Ilmater continues, although she's not quite sure how she feels about it. It is, however, helpful in distracting her from her automatic more hungry interest in the murder itself. Reading through some writings of Lorgan's and comparing it to writings of other priests in the building, she discovers that he was somewhat unlike most of them, who seem to have revered suffering for its own sake. Lorgan assiduously espouses that "to suffer is not holy; to suffer is a consequence of holy duty made practice." She's particularly fascinated by one paragraph of Lorgan's writing, which she looks at for a long time: "Some may ask of you, if you are loved by your god, why does he allow you to suffer? Why does he allow anyone to suffer? The question is strong rhetoric, but it has an answer. One cannot be healed without first being hurt. One cannot truly know joy without knowing its absence. But to live a life full of absence, full of suffering, would be to know only one thing. We enact balance in the name of the Lord on the Rack, for it is right and it is just." She has caused so much suffering. Jaheira speaks often of balance, and so does this text... but there is no balance in her, not yet. Perhaps... perhaps one day she will find it, but it seems an overwhelming task at present.

Most importantly, she finds one of Lorgan's journals hidden away in a chest, where he describes hiding and helping people in a hidden area of the temple cellar, which was - probably not coincidentally - also where he was murdered.

Another Bhaalist reference in an old manuscript: "And lo, he walked among us! But for a brief and brilliant moment, the Crying God wept upon our earth with the tears of a most fortunate faithful. He took the cur of Gehenna, this most defiled creature of Murder, and held it in His immutable embrace. In His most perfect knowing, he walked with it into the Sea of Fallen Stars - the cur clawed and screamed and ripped and tore, but he brooked no quarter. And when the sea ran red with the blood of the Divine, the wailing and gnashing ceased. The creature was dead. No trace of His commanded faithful remained, save for a humble iron helm, which washed ashore with nary a scratch or sea-rust about it." From this, Rakha discerns that she is correct in seeing Ilmater as an antithesis to her Bhaalspawn nature. But this is not an image of forgiveness as the priests out front promised, but instead of obliteration. She pictures herself as this "cur", dragged into the sea and drowned. It's an image that makes more sense than she would like.

She talks to a super grumpy priest named Sister Rose who is overseeing Lorgan's dead body. Rose is impatient, thinking Rakha's coming for medical attention; one of Rakha's available dialogue lines is "Do I look diseased to you?" which is pretty funny since Rakha currently looks like this:

She does provide some useful information, though - specifically that Lorgan was hit with a paralytic poison and had his hand sawed off while he was still alive, before he was killed. The beast in Rakha's head enjoys this mental image quite a lot, unfortunately.

She finally gets some use out of the Speak With Dead spell that she's thus far only used to talk to Z'rell's corpse, by using it on Lorgan. She definitely thinks she's being clever and hopes this will just blow the case wide open, but unfortunately it's not that simple.

"Who killed you?"

"Dwarf... dressed in red..."

"Why did he kill you?"

Narrator: The corpse remains silent. It does not know.

"What were you doing when you died?"

"Hiding Brilgor... from Fists..."

"Why were you hiding Brilgor?"

"Must protect innocents... Ilmater's will..."

"Where did you hide him?"

"Took him to the tunnels... with the rest... fool... fool..."

Well. That does seem to promisingly indicate that perhaps Brilgor wasn't responsible - unless he was a dwarf who wore red regularly - but it doesn't provide a lot of information on an alternative.

This whole situation has Rakha feeling genuinely mixed up in a lot of different ways - the Bhaalist taint in her is thrilled about the murder, she herself feels jumbled about the religious elements in question, Wyll and Jaheira want to see the refugee exonerated, Minthara and Lae'zel want to leave. It's more of a mess of a situation than she expected coming in the door, that's for certain.

But in the end, she presses forward, leading them down into the basement. It feels like the right thing to do... though she trusts her own judgment on that less and less.

[scannys-back]

[A letter appears before Tally. It smells faintly of Lavender, and has a rose sticker sealing it shut.]

"My beloved.."

"There is not a day that goes by where I don't miss you. I love you so much, and I'm so grateful that I have you and your love in my life."

"Your gift is so precious to me. I have been cherishing it and keeping it safe for you while you've been gone. I've been playing it every night, and it reminds me of you."

"I just wanted to write this to tell you that I love you, and I hope we can meet up again soon"

" -Imora"

@the-sleepydragon

At least I can trust her and nari...

[cleolinda]

I wanted to reward myself for Posting (AAAAAAA) this week, so I have impulsively ordered myself (samples of) two versions of Chanel No. 5 and two versions of Coco Mademoiselle.

I have smelled nary a Chanel in my life. The reason for this is that I spent most of my life not trying alcohol-based perfumes at all because headaches, so it seemed rational to avoid THE classic perfume notorious for its aldehydes.

wait what the fuck is an aldehyde

Like I KNOW, I have READ, but I have no idea what they actually smell like. For $5, sure, let’s find out. And Coco Mademoiselle is more a citrus-floral-patchouli anyway, and I ordered a variant with extra jasmine and rose, so I should like at least one of these.

Coco Mademoiselle is also relentlessly popular—my mom asked me last night what my criteria for a perfume post is, and I rambled gleefully said,

something I already have on hand lmao

something I already want to enthuse about

something I’ve always wanted to try, especially if it has a note I’m not familiar with

something that has a lot of people struggling to describe it

something I can tie to a larger discussion of a component (“let’s talk about wtf ‘amber’ means”)

something that’s a classic or an industry landmark, probably due to a specific component (see above)

something that is relentlessly popular now, which means it might be considered an industry landmark, but also, FOMO

And then she said—

Okay, first of all, what you have to know is, my mom lost her sense of smell/taste in December 2021 due to covid and hasn’t gotten it back since. I have her trying to retrain her nose on cedar, lemon, and eucalyptus oils, but it’s not working. There’s a new taste-and-smell clinic in town that she’s going to try, but anosmia has been a nightmare, I feel so terrible for her. I also have a longer story about us going to Ulta in late 2021 that resulted in us leaving with a bottle of a Popular Landmark Fragrance, but suffice it to say, she got hit with anosmia before she was ever able to smell it.

So then she said, “Would you like to write about my bottle of Angel?”

BOY, WOULD I. Thierry Mugler, 1992, the landmark gourmand with the famous ethyl maltol “cotton candy” note. (If you’ve ever smelled Pink Sugar, of which I have a bottle so loudly aged it should be considered a chemical weapon—that’s ethyl maltol.) I believe it’s also the first “fruitchouli,” but we can talk about that later.

Because basically the thing is, I’m approaching perfume from the perspective that I really enjoy what I can enjoy, and I’ve read a lot about the history and the technical end of things, but I’m not, like, an expert in the field or anything. If you’ve never smelled Chanel No. 5, you get to find out about it with me, and I can throw in some background info for fun.

So. I have some posts nearly finished in my pocket, and plenty of options to be spontaneous with so it stays fun while I recap vampires. But also, we’re about to find out what an aldehyde is. We’re probably going to end up with me not even liking The Greatest Perfume of All Time (technically, that might be Jean Patou’s Joy. A STORY). Buckle up.

[liz-verse]

WHO IS THAT GIRL?

Hi, im Liz, or Elisabeth, the only female (and hottest) member of boynextdoor. This is my introduction, everything from my name to habits to my backstory.

⋆˙⟡ — Name : Elisabeth Lillian Rosewood (middle × last arent my cr name)

⋆˙⟡ — Korean name : Yoon Nari (My adoptive parents gave it since my middle name is Lillian and my nickname was lily -> nari in korean)

⋆˙⟡ — Nicknames : Liz, Lizie, Lily, Rose, Nari

⋆˙⟡ — Birthday : 05.12.2003

⋆˙⟡ — Age : 21

⋆˙⟡ — Zodiac : Sagittarius

⋆˙⟡ — Nationality : Canadian / Belgian

⋆˙⟡ — Birthplace : Belgian

⋆˙⟡ — Hometown : Toronto, Canada

⋆˙⟡ — Current residence : Yongsan - gu, Seoul

⋆˙⟡ — Height : 175cm

⋆˙⟡ — Blood type : O- (type o negative reference)

⋆˙⟡ — MBTI/ENNEAGRAM : ISTJ 5w4

⋆˙⟡ — Languages ;

— English -> I was adopted into a Korean - Canadian family that lived in Canada

— Dutch -> I taught myself Dutch so I could communicate with my biological family when I meet them

— Korean -> I moved to Korea because I got casted for KOZ ent.

— Japanese -> I was on Produce 48 and in Iz*one, so the Japanese members taught me Japanese

⋆˙⟡ — Likes

Red, cats, bass, my members, music, foggy mornings, the moon, late night drives, sharks

⋆˙⟡ — Dislikes

Insects, bad manners, fish (sorry leehan), loud chewing/breathing, sickness, horror movies

⋆˙⟡ — Habits

Twirling hair, zoning out, fixing others' clothes, rambling (I'm a rapper (shout out to him for listening)), swearing, over the top, dramatic reactions

⋆˙⟡ — Skills / Hobbies

Archery, bass, guitar, writing, producing

⋆˙⟡ — Backstory/time line

2003:

-> I was born & put up for adoption

2004:

-> my adoption center moved me to Canada since there was a family that wanted to adopt me

2005:

-> Adopted by my now parents

2006:

-> started kindergarten

2007:

-> started dancing

-> got interested in music

2008:

-> started archery

2009:

-> quit dancing

-> started following music lessons + vocal lessons

-> started primary

2010:

-> my first concert <3

2014:

-> got noticed by a director of a professional music academy

2015:

-> followed professional vocal / guitar lessons

2016:

-> got noticed by SM ent. But my mum turned them down since I was too young

2017:

-> got noticed by KOZ ent. My mum allowed me to move to Korea with Keeho, who got into FNC ent.

2018:

-> Joined a survival show Produce 48 and got 2nd place

-> debuted in Iz*one

2021:

-> disbandment

-> Debuted as a soloist under KOZ ent.

2022:

-> my first big concert as a soloist

2023:

-> joined Boynextdoor (I was the last member to be revealed)

-> first award as soloist (producer award)

2024:

-> won soty as a soloist

[eddysocs]

The Object Of Desire — Chapter Eleven (Winter's Wait)

Summary: Parting brings such sweet sorrow for Aerla and Camille, but as winter break draws to a close, the promise of a reunion lingers.

Word Count: 1,114

Warnings: Angst and pining

From the end of October to the middle of December, every day felt like a knife cutting away another piece of her soul. Even making eye contact with one another was a risk. Di was desperate for any reason to destroy them both. Aerla tried to carry on as she usually would, and on the outside, it appeared as if she were managing. On the inside, she was counting the days until she returned home and found a letter from Camille.

When parents began arriving to pick up their children and bring them home for the holiday season, Aerla was in a surprisingly good mood. She may not get a proper chance at a real goodbye with Camille, but any goodbye would be temporary anyway. Soon they’d be exchanging letters, and with any luck they could pick up where they left off when Aerla returned.

There were group of girls headed for the train station, their homes farther away than most, and Aerla happened to be one of them. The train wouldn’t be leaving until the early evening, so she sat by and saw most of her classmates depart. When it was time to escort the three remaining girls to the station —herself, a girl named Katie, and another named Erin— Aerla was surprised to find their chaperone for the trip to be Camille.

She tried not to let her excitement show as Camille walked the girls into town, and nary a word was said by Aerla, Camille, nor her two companions. She thought even the most mundane utterance would give her away, so she remained tight lipped.

On the platform, Katie and Erin were quick to hop on their train, and that left Aerla alone with Camille. Had she known it would go this way? Is that why she volunteered to escort them? Either way, Aerla was elated.

Together, they sat on one of the remaining available benches, close enough to barely touch, but far enough away that nothing looked out of the ordinary. It was there that they waited for Aerla's train to arrive, and Aerla found herself hoping that it would never come. But like clockwork, the train pulled into the station.

Aerla looked to Camille, neither of them still having said a word to one another, and she rose from the bench, seemingly ready to see Aerla off without so much as a word of goodbye. Aerla followed suit, supposing she’d content herself with just having been so close to her that day, and then something miraculous happened. As Aerla stepped past her to board the train, Camille reached out for her hand, squeezing it once, ever so gently, as she helped her aboard. A sign, a promise, that’s what it must have been. Aerla took her seat, and smiled out the window at Camille, who offered a modest wave before Aerla was on her way.

While part of her felt relief at being on home soil, another part of her was already aching at Camille's absence by her side. How she longed to bring her home, introduce her to her parents, and celebrate the winter holidays together, but she knew such a blessing could never happen. And she was let down again when she came home to not find a letter from Camille yet. She reassured herself that it would come, as it had only been a couple of days.

The following days saw Aerla busying herself decorating her family's home with holly, candles and garland. While it may have looked festive, it still felt somewhat empty to Aerla. But her spirits were lifted when a letter finally arrived in the post.

Aerla had told her parents that her schoolfriend Camille might be writing to her, and they’d taken her words at face value, even laughing at her excitement to receive that first letter. Aerla had hurried off to her room to read it.

Lovely Aerla,

How I miss you so. I sent this letter off the day of your departure, and I hope it isn’t long before it reaches you. I hope you know I meant you no pain when I had to call things off between us. Di Radfield has always been a jealous and petty girl, and I thought it better that her cruel intentions be diverted than to see her ruin us entirely. I want nothing more than to see you each and every day that you are gone, and I hope upon your return that Di has become distracted with other things and dismissed her suspicions of you and I.

~ Your Ever Devoted Camille

Aerla felt as if her heart would burst with joy at her words. She reread her elegant script nearly a dozen times before she tucked it away for safekeeping. She would write her back urgently, saying there was no ill will and that she understood why Camille had to do what she’d done. She only wished she could be back in her arms sooner.

Only one more letter each was exchanged between them before Christmas Eve was upon them. As Aerla lit a candle in the window, an old tradition meant for well meaning travelers in the night, she hoped for one or two more letters before she made her way back to St. Mathilda's early next month.

In one of her subsequent letters, Aerla wrote to Camille of her birthday, which only two days before she was set to return to St. Mathilda's. Camille had written back eagerly to that one, citing her excitement and well wishes, and how the two of them would find a way to mark the occasion when she returned. It was this promise that made the rest of her time at home fly by in a wintry haze.

Before she knew it, she was once again packing her suitcase to return to her English school, a thought she had once so dreaded that she’d fought against going. Oh how she wished she had known about what awaited her then. She would never have believed it if she’d been told that she’d prefer St. Mathilda's to her own home, her own country even.

The journey back felt days long, each minute ticked by as if it were ten times as long as usual. The anticipation of seeing Camille again kept her smiling until her cheeks began to hurt. She reached in her bag and patted her journal, Camille's letters kept neatly folded inside. Finally, after what seemed like ever so long, she was back. The train slowed to a halt at the station where she’d last seen Camille. And there she was, as if she’d stood there waiting for her to return this whole time.

🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵

Chapter Ten <- 🩵 -> Chapter Twelve

Forever Tag: @baubeautyandthegeek, @kmc1989, @curious-kittens-ocs, @fanficanatic-tw, @gcthvile, @kenjioharashotspot

Aerla Grae: @athenodora-sulpicia-writer, @ilovehotactresses, @sobby-the-brat0

[pinkomcranger]

I agree with you about Saga! I personally don't ship Andercasey (no hate to people who do, of course! You're all great and your creations are fantastic <3) but I love love love their platonic relationship! It's so great to see male/female platonic relationships represented in media, and their relationship is fantastic (whether you like it platonic like me, or romantic!). Saga in general is such an amazing character and it's sad to see how the fandom treats her. I know this is a usual pattern in fandoms in general, not just with AW - people ignore the women (of course, woc even more so!) in general, no matter how interesting they are, just to focus on the (white) men. I do like Caseywake personally, since I find the dynamic interesting, but I don't like, ship-ship it very hard, I find it intriguing. But whether people do or don't, it's sad to see they also can't give focus to Saga and acknowledge she's her own person. They make her a prop in other people's relationships. It just sucks. Why are women always the backdrop and props to mxm relationships?? In general I find it sad that people are so quick to only value romantic love - not that there is anything wrong with shipping. Usually I'm a big shipper as well. But bc shipping is such a huge thing, then they can use the excuse of "I only like Saga and Casey platonically, but I don't write platonic things, and Saga doesn't have any interesting romantic pairings to make for her if it's not Andercasey so I just don't write her!!" And it sucks so bad. I wish this fandom was different but unfortunately it follows this very old pattern of a fandom. :(

I think everyone in every fandom needs to do some self-reflection on why they ALWAYS ignore the female characters and poc. It's always been a problem and unfortunately continues to be.

Oh, you absolutely do not have to ship Andercase romantically. It's perfectly fine to see them as platonic, it can arguably be said they were written that way! Their relationship is beautiful however way you see it. Their chemistry was off the charts, Melanie and James/Sam made sure of that!

Platonic m/f relationships do make me happy, and personally, that's Alan/Saga for me. Nary a hint of romance or even surface level attraction, and I'm here for that.

Now, putting my personal ships aside, you're very correct. In fandom, women and WOC especially get ignored to place more focus on the white men. And I've never understood that in this day and age, when women and WOC are finally starting to get the recognition we deserve. What's the point in this?

You can very much ship your fav men, while also including the woman, especially if she was such a big part of the source material. It's very egregious when it comes to Saga, considering she's the deuteragonist. She gets equal writing and treatment, in fact, I would go so far to say that if the series WASN'T called Alan Wake, Saga would be the protagonist.

There's truly no reason to ignore Saga when she drives the story we get. Alan himself admits, with no hesitation, no anger, that he needs Saga. So to see the fandom essentially go "that's nice you feel that way, Alan, but I don't need her beyond propping!" leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

You can't even give a good case of "I CAN'T create for Saga shipping-wise, there's nobody to ship her with outside of Casey!" There's her husband (and I know that's difficult considering we don't even get so much as a glimpse of him, and that's interesting to me, but that's a topic for another day), there's Rose, there's Tim, there's Ahti, there's Estevez, there's even Alice. Saga has just as many options as Alan.

And there's no excuse to ignore her in another pairing. You can EASILY write CaseyWake without using her as a prop, or just an aside to say "see? I remember she was in the game!" Where are the ensemble fics? Why can't she be written with all of her characteristics and agency that was she given in-game? Does a black woman who isn't a stereotype that uninteresting or frightening to the general content creators?

Again, this isn't something new to just Saga in this fandom. Alice suffered from it the most, by virtue of being the most important woman in the previous games. And she got pushed aside for ScratchWake. But with the release of AW2, she's been given more love, I've seen more fics for her, I've seen quite a few Alan/Casey/Alice fics. Which also tells me that fandom finds it easier to write for a white woman than a black woman.

There really isn't anything I can do about that, I can't FORCE anyone to relate to Saga in the same way I do. I know there's difficulty writing for WOC, there's difficulty relating to them personally if you're not one. But again, in this day and age, when we're being shown more on the big screen/small screen, in books and video games, there's truly no excuse.

POC in general are still nowhere close to being represented as much as white people, but seeing a character like Saga so well written, so wonderfully portrayed, so loved by her creators get ignored for the basic white men, while this same group of people claim they're tired of decades of white men being the focus but continue to personally make them the focus, shows an extreme case of hypocrisy and covert racism, because again, there's no excuse.

I understand the fixation on fictional and FBI Casey. There's so much we're not shown, that we can fill in the blanks and easily fit it into canon. But at the same time, you can do the exact same thing with Saga, because we're NOT shown or told everything about her and her life.

I want this fandom to be better and do better. Like you said, all fandoms need to take a good, hard look at doing some self-reflection. Don't choose to ignore the beautiful women we're given just because they don't fit your narrative.

[honorhearted]

TRY + Caleb. He NPCs a lot in Ben's threads so I think you could write him 'for real' :)

SEND  TRY + A CHARACTER  YOU’D LIKE TO SEE ME ( ATTEMPT ) TO WRITE ! / @therapardalis

Caleb knew his role in the ring. If he caved, if he cracked, then the whole damned tower of trust would topple. Benjamin was a stubborn arse who couldn't admit when he wasn't enough -- who couldn't admit that he needed help -- and he silently relied upon the whaler to be his anchor, his back-up, his foundation. But that foundation was rapidly starting to crumble.

Even now, he could still hear Simcoe's taunts; could taste the metallic spoils of blood in his mouth while the monster quite literally cut the bravado from his heart. Caleb had spent his entire life pretending: to be stronger, braver, cleverer; so the transition into spywork had been relatively easy. Only now, his mask was slipping. Now, he could only share with the world his weaknesses, his insecurities, and none of these could protect his friends. He would die before letting them down. He'd been willing to die, in fact, but with his unprecedented survival, there was no way of knowing -- none at all -- if he'd inadvertently handed them over for s.laughter.

"Caleb."

He didn't look up. "Aye?"

"Have you even been listening to me?" There was an unmistakable sharpness, an agitation to Benjamin's voice that sliced clean through his chest. "This matter with W.ashington is time sensitive. If we don't see things through-"

"We will," Caleb cut in, his voice hushed. He didn't know if he believed that anymore, but his mask resurfaced to conceal his doubts, if only to heed the cry of Benjamin's unspoken need of support. Benjamin was cold, prickly, tactless whenever upset, but Caleb knew how to handle him. He knew all of his friends better than his own soul, because he'd grown up always trying to please them. As the one who wasn't the smartest, the handsomest, or even the funniest, he'd always vowed to be the most reliable. Though the frightening part was, as he sat there trembling within the afternoon sun, with nary a natural chill to be found within the air, he was no longer certain that he could uphold this promise. He wanted to give up. He wanted to go home. Home, where his own family had become tainted with the memory of failing to keep his uncle safe.

Mouth dry, Caleb abruptly rose from his perch, opening and closing his scabby hands. "I...I've gotta go," he choked.

Benjamin finally turned to regard him, concern creasing his brow. "Where?" he asked. "I only just got here..."

"To my tent," he lied. You swore you'd never run, you coward. "Gotta sleep it off, y'know?" They're better off without you anyway. Can't get hurt if you're not here.

Unable to look Benjamin in the eye -- he never could lie to his friends -- the whaler fumblingly reached for his hat, then placed it upon his head. Just like the mask searing across his heart, he was at the very least able to hide from the scathing looks cast upon him through camp.