#napping on couches seems to have that effect on me honestly. sleep in a bed in the middle of the afternoon? no prob.

[deelovesbooks]

yall ever get weird dreams when taking antibiotics?

[potatoes-is-are-food]

Can I request some poly! Shigadabihawks x reader if you don’t mind. You have amazing writing and you have written some amazing poly! I don’t care if it’s sfw and/or nsfw, it’s totally up to you. I honestly kinda wanted to see how hawks and Shigaraki got along in a poly relationship and how they interacted with each other because I can imagine how Dabi and hawks get along or dabi and shigaraki but hawks and Shigaraki would have a odd relationship, y’know. Sorry if this is odd and you don’t know what I’m talking about and I just want you to know that I absolutely love your work. You’re the first person I check everyday when I get on tumblr. 😘

Awwwww!!! You are so sweet, thank you so much!!! Yeah this makes a lot of sense, for the demon au especially I’ve been trying to work on showing off the dynamic between Hawks and Shig. I hope headcanons are okay!

| SFW

- Before you enter the mix, Dabi is really the only holding them together. He started off dating Tomura (who still insists he barely even likes him, usually after they finish making out) and then later Kei joined in. You’re still not sure how it all came to be since you get a different answer depending on who you ask and what mood they’re in.

- Tomura is only a bit tsundere with Dabi and Kei, never you. With you he’s more openly clingy and would never deny how he feels. He wouldn’t say it, but he appreciates you being around whenever Dabi and Keigo make him feel like a third wheel. Keigo has some similar experiences, but he’s just genuinely not bothered whenever Dabi wants to go have some solo time with Tomura. Or you, for that matter. Just isn’t the jealous type.

- They like using you to fuck with each other. If you’re hanging out with Dabi there’s a good chance Keigo will come along and just flat out steal you. Just pick you up and walk off. Because he can. Dabi is fond of teasing Tomura about how much he likes you, despite clearly also liking you. Tomura’s go-to is usually also to steal you, however he likes to get you to come willingly so you’ll blow off whoever you were with to start.

- Keigo and Tomura get along best when teaming up to irritate Dabi. Whether it’s playing keep away with you, hiding his stuff, distracting him when he’s trying to brood and do Dabi stuff, they really enjoy the power of their combined effects on him.

- The three of them teaming up to irritate you is what really gets them cooperating. They’re all gremlins, they steal your clothes to force you into skirts with no panties, they move your stuff around so you have to ask them for help, and that’s without getting into how often they fight over you, although that’s not so much to annoy you.

- Dabi developed a little habit of calling you, Tomura, and Kei his sluts and now he does it no matter who’s around and it’s really embarrassing but he absolutely does not care.

- While most of the time it’s Dabi and you holding Tomura and Keigo together, it’s not uncommon to find just the two of them off by themselves bonding over a common interest or even occasionally making out.

- They each have their own rooms, but you don’t. You bounce between theirs and your stuff is always scattered around. Yes, it’s annoying. No, they won’t let you have your own room. The four of you typically end up sharing one bed anyway, although the room itself changes.

- They’re not shy about the relationship, so it’s fairly often you get teased (albeit lovingly) about having three boyfriends. Toga really likes trying to force you to pick a favorite.

- Everyone thinks it’s creepy. Everyone. But Kei started calling you their “little girl” and just never stopped.

- They don’t really do PDA between themselves aside from the odd hand holding or rare peck on the cheek, but when it comes to you all bets are off. You’re constantly perched in someone’s lap or holding a hand or having your clothes fixed by someone else. To everyone else it mostly looks like they toss you around.

- Sometimes they’ll take you on dates, switching between doing them one on one or with the whole group. It’s hard to get Tomura to go out, though, since he prefers stay at home dates. When he’s not feeling it you’ll usually end up in a blanket fort eating takeout all together.

- One time. one. time. some stranger muttered “slut” under his breath when he saw you walking along in public with them. Dabi charred his ass so fast the other two were pissed at him for not being able to get a hit in.

- Despite all of them being gremlins, they really love you and will 10/10 go out of their way to make sure you know that. Literally anything upsets you and the immediate response is “Tell me why you’re not happy and I will kill it.”

- Most of their more genuine affections are shown in little things they do. Keigo likes to get you guys things, especially snacks he knows you like since he can go in public freely. Dabi is constantly fixing your clothes and hair and making sure everyone’s comfortable. Tomura always touches you softly (outside of the bedroom), always brushing his fingers along your cheeks or resting his head on your shoulder, etc. He’s also the most likely to casually touch the others in public.

- When it’s cold everyone piles up on Dabi and he pretends he hates it, but you always catch him smiling when he thinks no one’s looking.

- Kei loves using his feathers to tease everyone, slipping them under clothes before you can stop them or making them flit around your face. It’s annoying but his laugh is so cute you can’t even be mad at him.

- Tomura’s face always lights up before he can stop it when one of you comes to play videogames with him. He’s really bad at hiding how excited and happy it makes him.

- Since you’re the only girl and they’re kind of sexist, they treat you a lot softer than they treat each other. Doesn’t matter how strong you are, they’ll always think you’re weaker and they need to protect you. It might not seem like it when they’re teasing the hell out of you or tying you up or spanking you, but they go way easier on you than they would on each other in the same situation.

- Literally any sign from you that you’re seriously upset or overwhelmed? Done. No more. Only soft affection and very mild teasing for the week.

| NSFW

- The first time Kei joined in while Dabi and Tomura were fucking, he didn’t even participate. He just watched like a fucking creep. Still does that occasionally.

- They all have relatively high drives and absolutely no shame between each other, so it’s pretty often you’re just casually getting fucked in one of their rooms while another sits on the couch beside you and watches TV. May or may not comment on it.

- Sometimes they’ll make bets about you. See who can get you to cum the fastest one week or try testing how long it takes for you to come to them when they don’t initiate it and which one you pick. How much cum they can stuff you with and plug up before it starts leaking out. And so on.

- It’s very different if it’s just one of them, or if it’s two and which two, etc.

- Dabi likes to manhandle you. He takes his time, makes you wait and beg and then just completely destroys you for hours on end. After, he sits back with a cigarette and lets you cling to him while he strokes you and tells you you did a good job. It pleases him when you’re so fucked out you can’t form full sentences, and he’ll tease you for it for days.

- Keigo is similar in that he likes to tease, but he’s also sadistic. He’ll make you cum on his tongue and fingers until you’re begging him to stop and then he’ll force at least two more orgasms out of you on his dick. Afterwards he watches you twitch and leak his spunk for a minute before giving you god-tier aftercare. Runs a bath, gets you some water, etc. Once you’re clean he encourages you to take a nap, but it’s usually an excuse for him to take a nap because he’s also worn out but trying to hide it.

- Tomura gets too excited to tease for very long, but that’s only directly before the sex. He’ll have his hand shoved in your panties just toying with you for hours while he absently scrolls on his phone. Sometimes he’ll have you get yourself ready where he can see, only to completely ignore you until you let him know he can start. Once he’s going, though, he’s done with all that. He’s drooling, panting, flushed, pounding you into next week. He alternates between kissing you and spitting in your mouth because he’s too wound up to just pick a mood most of the time.

- That’s not to say you don’t have lots of times where it’s intimate and loving, but that’s not really the usual.

- The Dabi/Tomura combination is the more nasty of the three. Kei isn’t opposed to doing stuff to make you squirm when he’s in the mood but Dabi and Tomura l i v e for that shit. They’re almost nightmarish together, 100% okay with piss, impact play, period stuff, all things anal, etc. Of course you’re their girlfriend and they love you so they’re not about to do something that has you screaming or crying for real, but if you’re at least mostly okay with it and they’re confident it’s not breaking you, they’ll do pretty much anything. Anything to get you teary-eyed, begging them to stop, etc. as long as you’re not saying the safeword. For aftercare they’re very gentle and soft as they clean you up and put you to bed. Doesn’t matter what time of day it happened, they’re putting you in bed and snuggling you until you get at least an hour of sleep. When you wake up they’ll get you something to eat and make sure they didn’t hurt you beyond the usual cuts, bruises, and assorted mild scorching.

- Dabi and Kei usually go for more of a good cop/bad cop sort of arrangement. Doesn’t seem so bad until you figure out they switch the roles without any indication of having done that. It’s like they have a sixth sense for it or something. You’ll be crying and clinging to Keigo since he’s been nice so far only for him to bend you over his knee and spank you raw for it; meanwhile Dabi has gone from smacking you around and spewing filth to cooing and stroking your face. Their aftercare is mostly praise, they’ll tell you you did well and make sure you’re okay mentally since some of the stuff they say can get pretty intense. They’ll get you cleaned up and make sure you eat and drink water, and they’ll cuddle as long as you want and won’t go anywhere even if you fall asleep.

- Tomura and Keigo are the most interesting mix. It’s not often that it happens, but when it does they work surprisingly well together. Their different types of degeneracy and patience seem to blur together into a lethal combination that’ll have you getting whiplash from how they toss you back and forth. They’re not usually both participating at the same time; someone has to hold the camera, after all. Aftercare usually consists of a shower, snacks, and either you napping on their laps while they game together or joining in if they didn’t rock your shit too hard. On days when they’ve done this, you’ll notice the two of them interacting more and occasionally taking some time to be alone together…

- When it’s all of them you’re fucking in for it. Depending on the mood it can vary wildly, but for the most part it’s just a complete mass of writhing limbs and moans. You’re tired ten minutes in, more of the focus is on you than anything, you’re forced to cum over and over again, they each cum in or on you at least twice, and when it’s all said and done you’re covered in sweat, cum, possibly blood, and three sweaty, spent bodies. Usually after they have to peel your limp, half-conscious body off the bed and carry you to the bath. They’ll take great care of you, not that you’ll really remember it in your sorry state, and when you wake up the next day they’re more doting than usual. They’ll tease a little about how you’re sore and still just a little out of it, but that doesn’t mean they’re not checking on you and being extra attentive.

- The times when it’s all of you together but in a more romantic way, it’s like being surrounded by pure love. Everyone’s kissing, you’re all tangled together, it’s just really soft and intimate. Doesn’t last as long, but it’s insanely sweet and gooey. When finished, there’s lots of soft caring/cleaning up/cuddling for a while but it doesn’t have the same insane recovery time as usual. After everyone’s taken care of, the guys like to try pretending everything is normal, but it’s obvious they’re more clingy than usual. Definitely all sleeping together in a pile on nights like that.

- Sometimes one will join in just for aftercare. Kei enjoys seeing you a fucked-out little mess, so he’s always happy to help if it means he can see you destroyed for a minute first. Dabi likes the feeling of being needed and being able to care for someone, so he’ll help, especially cleaning you up and getting you dressed. Tomura loves the way you cling after, and likes to cuddle and nap, so he’ll come in late to the aftercare just for that.

[astaroth1357]

Demonic Pregnancy (But It Makes the MC… Problematic)

Okay, so hear me out. I know the prevailing idea is that a human getting pregnant with a supernatural kid would sap their strength and what not… But what if the opposite happened? So basically, getting pregnant by the brothers would make the MC physically stronger, but more susceptible to their sin… Oh this is going to be fun. 😈

Trigger Warning: Pregnancy

Lucifer

First noticed something was up when the MC came into his office to bring him coffee and casually ripped the door of its hinges… with one hand… by the handle…

He didn’t even have time to be mad about it because he was already frantically texting Diavolo and Barbs that there was something very wrong with the human. They’re not supposed to do that.

Meanwhile MC is in the background marveling at the newly freed door in their hand… They hadn’t even thought about it! Is this what having power is like?? Are they actually dangerous now??? Better not let it go to their head…

*it is totally going to go to their head*

Lucifer learns two things pretty quickly, (1) The human is pregnant with his child and (2) They’ve just been given access to a whole lot of power and they’re mind is set on one thing: Domination.

The next nine months for him are spent practically having to leash the MC or else they’ll go out to pick fights with anything that moves to prove their “superiority”… His brothers and even Diavolo included!

It wouldn’t be so bad if their body wasn’t still very human and very breakable… and also they’re PREGNANT, so please STOP!!

This baby, honestly, could not come fast enough… Good thing demons don’t develop grey hairs… Poor guy…

Mammon

Noticed something was up when they were chatting out at RAD and they dodged a stray ball from Beel. 

They dodged a ball. From Beel. And he throws at, like, Mach 7 speed… And it didn’t even look hard!

… But being the dumbass that he is, he just thought they had gotten a lot better at their magic. It was Lucifer who saw something wasn’t right when the MC was actually holding their own against Mammon and Beel in a race.

Was thrilled by the news at first but then quickly learned that he must have infected them with Greed somehow…

They wouldn’t stop begging for new stuff! Sometimes for him or the baby, but mostly just whatever struck their fancy the second that they saw it.

He’d try to tell them no but then they’d look all sad or whine about hard it was to be pregnant and how they couldn’t do things like tie their shoes or stand for long periods of time or…

(Never mind the fact that they could bench-press Beel if they wanted to, no no, that didn’t matter.)

His nine months were pretty much spent pandering to Lucifer and Levi for more loans to keep his MC happy… and praying they’d snap out of it after the baby finally came because he CANNOT keep paying for their crap…! 😥

Leviathan

MC and Levi playing games in his room and one of their online matches got particularly heated… The MC may or may not be prone to gamer rage, but that night they got so frustrated that they snapped his controller in half like a toothpick…

They were too busy trying to frantically apologize to take notice of their sheer strength, but HE did. And he was thrilled!!

Like, sure, it sucks that he’d have to buy a new controller but that was So. Cool. Their strength was like something out of a shonen!! He was honestly fanboying too hard to question, “Wait a minute, how did they even get that strong??” The MC later went to Lucifer themselves to get it all got sorted out (really Levi was no help whatsoever) and man was he shocked by the news…

Though he was even more shocked by the sudden spike of jealousy that they seemed to exhibit afterward… Like, extreme “You better not leave my sight” level jealousy… 😣

One the one hand, he’s kind of into it because being alone with the MC is all he’s ever wanted!… but on the other hand, dude really wants some space… 

He tolerates the next nine months for three reasons: (1) He does honestly love the MC, (2) Watching them break (other people���s) stuff and fight demons with their bare hands will never stop being cool, and (3) He’s somewhat afraid of what they’d do if he tried to leave so…  😥

Let’s hope the effects are temporary…

Satan

Found out something was wrong when he and the MC went to the park. He saw an old acquaintance of his and left to go say hi but came back to find that the MC had uprooted an entire park bench to squash a nosy lesser demon…

Nothing, absolutely NOTHING, he’d ever read about humans told him that they were capable of that!

Figuring this has some kind of magic origin, he doesn’t bring them to Lucifer but to their resident human sorcerer instead, Solomon…

…and THAT bright idea ended up getting the MC magic tag-along throughout their pregnancy since Solomon wanted to make "a few” observations, the lying bastard… 🙄

Even more unfortunate though, is that the introduction of Wrath into their system also gave the MC an utterly monstrous temper which didn’t help their newfound strength at all…

Poor Satan gets saddled with caring for what amounts to a hair-triggered glass cannon… (though really it’s less protecting them from the world and the world from them 😣).

Needless to say, he’s lost quite a few bookcases over the next several months…

Asmodeus

It was another night with Asmo, so another night out clubbing. He and MC were together for most of the time, but they had left him briefly to get another round of drinks… and somehow got dragging into a straight up brawl in the process.

And they WON…

Asmo brought them right to Lucifer after that. Like, he loves you sweetie, but there were like ten lesser demons there and no way a little human like yourself could pull that off without something being up.

Oh he was overjoyed by the news, but the real test was yet to come… Who would give out first? The Avatar of Lust or a very, very, astronomically horny MC…?

In truth, no one in the House ever wants to talk about what happened for those next nine months ever again… The things they saw… The things they heard… Filthy, filthy things….. 😖

And more broken beds than anyone could care to count…

Let’s just say that they’re all happy the MC was already pregnant, otherwise they’d be dealing with a LOT more demon babies running around… What a hellscape that would be…

Beelzebub

The MC was helping him move some of his weights between rooms. They were only supposed to carry the lighter ones (which really weren’t that light) but they were carrying them so easily that the two got suspicious… They tried to lift one of his heaviest barbells and, to their amazement, they picked it up even easier than he could!

They both just kind of stared at each other for a few seconds before calmly agreeing to go find Lucifer. This probably wasn’t normal…

What pregnancy even was had to be explained to Beel since he doesn’t really understand humans and he only needed one thing confirmed…

So, they’re eating for two now?

And boy did they act like it! The MC’s appetite practically tripled as the months went on and he did his best to keep up for them. He even missed a meal or two for the first time in his life because he was so preoccupied making sure his MC had enough to eat… 😣

Their tastes also got weirder as time went on… At one point they asked for Solomon’s cooking which nearly had him “Nope-ing” out of the relationship right there. He stuck through it to make them happy, but he couldn’t watch them eat it… Even he has his limits, MC… 😟🤢

Wants the baby to come out already if for no other reason than he can finally go back to being the biggest eater of the House again. Having to work around two is a nightmare for everyone…

Belphegor

Would you believe he straight up didn’t know for weeks?

Like, they told him they were pregnant a while ago but all the pregnancy seemed to do was make them really sleepy…

Combine their naps with how often he’s dead to the world and it just never got brought up. 🤷‍♀️

That was until the day it was his turn to vacuum the common room and the MC was resting on the couch…

“MC, can you move? I need to get under there.”

“Hm? Oh, sure. Let me help.”

They then proceeded to get up and lift the couch with one hand like they were Beel or something!

He was, perhaps, slightly miffed that they didn’t think it was necessary to mention they had gotten a butt ton stronger for like a month, but you know…

Belphie has probably the easiest time managing his MC anyway because ALL they want to do is sleep. At most he just has to take on the responsibility to remind them to eat and move around a little.

Lucky bastard always gets off easy… 😖

[deltas-writing-corner]

Tsukumo Yuki relationship headcanons

Fandom: Jujutsu Kaisen

Pairing: Tsukumo Yuki x reader

Author note: Tsukomo Yuki is the reason I love woman and she can crush me between her thighs send tweet

Warnings: Potential manga spoilers (?) | Mentions of s*x, but nothing too blatantly explicit. I would still prefer it if minors did not interact with this post in any way.

Yuki always asks the people she meets what type of woman they like. If someone were to ask that same question back to her, she’ll most certainly utter back your name as if it were an obvious response.

What’s not to love about you? You’re cute. You make her laugh. You cook for her because heaven knows she can't if her life depended on it. Most importantly, you keep her company due to the lack of curses she’s ever sent to exorcise. Traveling the world is fun and all, but it’s even more fun with you by her side!

You’re not a sorcerer. You can’t even see curses. Yuki is a childhood friend of yours and has kept you in the loop regarding the world of jujutsu sorcery since she started integrating into it. She thinks it’s important for you to know that someone like you, a non-curse user who has no control over the curse energy you create, should know what exactly your negative emotions can lead to. It’s not to make you feel bad or pin blame on you in any way. It’s her way of protecting you beyond physical means as well as a way of showing you that she places a great deal of trust in you regarding the nature of her line of work and her true goals.

Because she rejects the methods of the higher-ups and her ideology is more along the lines of putting an end to the creation of curses permanently instead of letting them manifest and dealing with them when they start causing profound trouble, you’re often the one that has to listen to all her new, sometimes overreaching, hypotheses now and then. You may even take part in her research, but she would never put you in any sort of harm! At least, not unless you give her the okay to. Be warned, if you give your blessing to be her little lab rat she’s prone to get carried away with her methods. Speak up if she’s doing something outrageous or if she’s making you uncomfortable. Otherwise, you might end up in some precarious situations.

As mentioned previously, Yuki isn’t sent out on missions that often, if ever. She instead chooses to travel in and out of the country, for the sake of her research as well as for the pleasure of it. Since she’s one of three, later four, special grade sorcerers her salary is rather tremendous. Unfortunately, her travels outside Japan are “unauthorized” and sometimes her funds get frozen by the higher-ups. Her quick solution to the matter is to fly back, take on a mission or two to get her funds unfrozen (and into your account because you’re her partner-in-crime) or even take on a mission to earn some more funds, and then you and her are right back to traveling the world again.

During one of these money replenishing heists, she met a kid that she took a particular interest in and wanted to mentor, Aoi Todo. It’s hard for most people to spark her interest to the extent Todo did, so you happily supported her endeavors and even met with her young pupil a few times throughout the years. Her methods of training are a bit....extreme, to put it lightly. You understand that holding back her punches will only hinder Todo’s progress instead of allowing him the ability to improve and push past his limits, but you can’t help but flinch over the large scar that marks his face whenever you briefly meet up with him.

Todo is eccentric, but so is Yuki. Perhaps not idol obsessed like Todo, but seeing the way he takes great care of his appearance and flaunts his body (during a battle even), he’s a near-identical clone of Yuki. She knows that she’s good-looking, and she will always flaunt this fact to anyone with working eyes, even you! Does it work every single time? Yes. Yes, it does.

Honestly, how can it not? She’s tall. She has a great butt. She drives a motorcycle. Her tight biker pants are your Achilles heels and she knows it. Sometimes she’ll wear them around the house just to flaunt her curves and other bodily goods, even if it’s the middle of the summer, the AC is broken and the pants are made of stuffy leather material. If it gets your face all heated up, she'll wear it.

The compliments she gets from strangers are nice and all, but it’s your reactions she truly cares about. You’ve been by her side through it all. You're still sticking with her even despite the fact that she’s constantly moving around and living a somewhat free-spirited lifestyle. You genuinely support and help her when almost everyone else has rejected her methods and ideals and brush her off as some lazy, outrageous-thinking woman. Really, you stole this woman’s heart just by letting her be herself, a lazy, outrageous-thinking woman.

Yuki is indeed lazy, to the point it sometimes affects you and your shared apartment is left in a week-long accumulated mess. I’m talking clothes strewed about and spilling out the already full laundry basket, sink filled with dirty dishes, houseplant half dead due to insufficient watering, and little dusty bunnies in the corner of the room. Whenever you try to get around to getting your living space in order, she always drags you back to the bed with her either to nap some more or for a quick round of sex that leads to more napping. Eventually, you have to beat her with a pillow and threaten her with no sex for a certain period of time to get her to back off, which always works without fail.

If you really hold the “no sex until...” ultimatum over her head long enough, she’ll even pitch in and help you clean. But to be honest she kinda sucks at it so it’s sometimes better to just have her sit on the sidelines while you do all the work. She’ll jokingly suggest you clean with just an apron on (because she’s a freak like that), but you haven’t taken her up on the suggestion just yet. It’s mostly because you’ll use the “naked apron” method to further insinuate her punishment if your usual threat begins to lose its potency (because you are also a freak like that).

She’s a bad sleeping partner. Not only does she hog all the blankets and pillows, but she even stretches out her limbs over the entire bed. This usually leaves you curled up in a corner shivering your ass off until you either fall asleep via exhaustion or move to the couch. If you go to the couch, she’s 99.9% likely to wake up and join you shortly after, where she’s less of a hassle to deal with because of the limited space.

She’s a great big spoon, which is actually one of the ways you later use to solve her troublesome habits as once she latches onto you, she will not let go the rest of the evening. Unfortunately, she also snores terribly loud, but it’s nothing earbuds can’t fix.

Some might think she sleeps in something flattering, maybe even a bit scanty. That couldn’t be any further from the truth. Her pj’s are decades-old shirts and gym shorts that she never got around to getting rid of. If not that, she’ll sleep completely naked and she doesn’t care if someone walks in on her with the covers off. She’ll only ever wear lingerie or other promiscuous pieces of clothing if she has intentions of getting between your legs and rocking your world for the rest of the night.

I think it goes without saying that she looks great in lace, but as hot as she may look, she really likes seeing you dressed up in something risque as well.

If you’re female, she sometimes likes to wear matching lingerie sets with you, but her favorite material to see you in is leather, especially those harness-styled sets that squeeze your flesh all around.

If you’re male, she’s a complete sucker for a man in a clean-cut, custom-tailored suit and will take it off as soon as you put it on. Hope you don’t mind losing a button or two, because she will pop them off for sure when she rips your dress shirt off of you.

To all my gender-neutral folks, It’s never too late to whip out that naked apron I mentioned earlier! Or a leather jacket. Everyone looks great in a leather jacket!

Yuki’s diet is fucking terrible. You’re a decent cook, but despite this, all she ever seems to want is greasy take-out food that makes you wonder how the hell she’s still so fit after witnessing her down three chicken burritos in one sitting. Even when the two of you are abroad and are able to try out different types of cuisines not so readily available in Japan, she’ll still want to go out to a fast food joint that you can easily find everywhere. You’ve tried to get her to branch out of her comfort zone and eat somewhat healthier alternatives of her favorite foods, but so far you’ve gotten mixed results.

In summary: Yuki is a pretty outgoing person and sometimes can be a bit of a hassle to deal with, but she’s clearly ambitious and moves to the tune of her own beat. Her goal of finding and effectively eliminating the source of all curses is a testament to the fact that she wants to save future generations from having to carry the burden sorcerers have been carrying for thousands of years. Her goals are not only for the sake of the people who will come after her, but also for the sake of her future with you. You’re someone she genuinely cares for and wishes to spend the rest of her life with, evident by the numerous times she’s come clean to you about her fears of you dying when she isn't around to protect you or of her dying and leaving you behind to mourn during late-night pillow talks in hotels or in your shared home. A future where you and her can travel the world and truly take in and enjoy the sights and wonders instead of searching for an answer to one of the world’s greatest phenomenon is a future worth fighting for, even if she’s met with some pushback or the end goal seems like nothing more than a pipedream at times. So long as you’re there with her to see her research bear fruit, she’ll keep testing and coming up with new methods to eliminate curses permanently, no matter the extremes her research takes her to.

[whumpmatsus]

Hi! 👋 Two things! First, a fic request (again Ichimatsu whump because I'm sorry but I have to): Ichimatsu takes a hit meant for one of his brothers (be it accidental or on purpose) and is pretty badly injured. Cue the rest of the Matsu Bros. to the rescue!

And second, um...would you be okay with it if, let's just say hypothetically, I made fan art of some of these fics? 😺

FIRST OF ALL thank you for this because it's LITERALLY the longest thing I've written on this blog so far!! so I hope u enjoy it fully uwu

Matsu Bros plus a cameo by Mama Matsu!! <3

second... YESSSS THAT IS ALWAYS DEFINITELY OKAY!!! aaaaaaa you flatter me <3 <3 <3

-

When Ichimatsu first wakes up in the hospital, he doesn’t remember why he’s here. Hell, he barely even remembers who he is.

All he really knows initially is that he’s in a lot of pain. It hurts to breathe, his face is kind of numb in spots, and his leg feels weirdly positioned, plus heavy and uncomfortable. His shoulder feels kind of sore… as does his wrist.

There’s also some strange fog drifting around his mind that’s making it difficult to really focus on anything.

He feels a hand in his own. Not very tight… he thinks it’s someone giving just enough pressure to let him know they’re here. That he’s not alone. That’s comforting, he thinks.

Then he starts to remember things.

He was out walking with some of the others; Karamatsu and maybe Totty? What they were doing is a little fuzzy and isn’t coming to him instantly. He just recalls they were together, walking on the sidewalk. They came to a crosswalk and waited their turn. Karamatsu, as the eldest out of the three, stepped forward first to cross.

Ichimatsu thinks Karamatsu’s intention was that he would hold Totty’s hand to keep the youngest safe while they crossed, and Ichimatsu could follow after them. He doesn’t believe Totty had any objections.

They waited. They followed all the rules they were supposed to. The crosswalk light told them they were allowed to go.

It was someone else who broke the rules, tearing through a stop sign, the car headed right for his brothers. He… thinks he remembers Totty had only just come forward to grab Karamatsu’s hand, so he wasn’t quite there yet. Karamatsu was the one in the most danger.

He doesn’t remember much else. Running forward, pushing his baby brother behind him and yelling for his big brother to move.Then an impact. A lot of pain. Black and nothingness and warmth.

Now he’s awake. Putting the pieces together, he’s pretty sure he shoved Karamatsu forward and ended up getting hit by that car.

He thinks, in his haze, that the car should have hit Karamatsu, because he was the one who went first, because things happened so fast. But he’s glad it didn’t happen that way.

A couple groans catch the attention of whoever’s in the room, and he gets a squeeze to the hand. “Ichimatsu? Honey? Are you awake?”

“Mmh…” It hurts a little to move his head. He does it anyway, getting a glimpse of his mother. “… Mom…?”

It looks like she’s smiling… relieved, maybe. “Yes! Yes, my sweet boy, Mama is here.” She reaches her free hand over to gently stroke his hair. It feels nice. “Thank goodness. How do you feel?”

He closes his eyes. “I hurt.”

“Well, I should hope so! I’d be worried if you weren’t in a lot of pain right now. Do you remember what happened?”

Although he tries to move around, it’s difficult simply because it’s so painful. “Uh, yeah, kind of… I got… hit by a car, right? ― H… hey… Karamatsu and Totty… where are they? Are they okay?”

“Yes, dear, they’re both fine. Karamatsu has a couple of scrapes, but nothing serious. You, on the other hand, are lucky, young man. You’ve got a broken leg, a couple of broken ribs, and a broken wrist. You did have a dislocated shoulder, but they got that back into place. The doctor said it could have been much worse. She said you got off easy compared to some people who get hit by a car.”

She combs his bangs back in a way that mitigates any anger or frustration in her next words. “What were you thinking?”

“The car was coming for Karamatsu…” He frowns as the memory surfaces again, in slightly better detail. Damn. “… And Totty didn’t see it… he was gonna step out, too…”

Everything seemed to happen so fast. How the hell did he manage to get his older brother out of the way and keep his younger brother out of the way when everything happened so fast?

Matsuyo sighs and continues stroking his hair. “Oh, I know… they were both in tears when we all arrived. Totty was inconsolable… saying that Karamatsu would be dead if you hadn’t run forward and that he thought you were dead because you weren’t responding. I should be mad that you scared your brothers… but…”

She leans forward to kiss his forehead. “… You did a brave thing, Ichimatsu. Mama is very proud of you. I just don’t like any of you boys hurt… if you’re inclined to do this again, pull the other person back instead of taking their place. You silly boy,” she adds with an affectionate smile.

“Hah…” he laughs weakly, wincing at the pain in his chest. “Sorry, Mom. Everything hurts… I wanna go home.”

“Mhm, they’ll probably let you go pretty soon now that you’re awake. That’s the main thing they were waiting for, I think.” She moves her hand down to pat lightly at his forearm.

“Don’t worry. You’ll be home before you know it, and your family will take good care of you.”

-

Coming home is kind of weird.

Ichimatsu can’t really walk on his own. Since his leg is broken, the doctor gave him a crutch that he can use with his good hand, but it’s an awkward movement and leaves him feeling unbalanced. It’s just easier to lean on one of his brothers to walk ― in this case, Choromatsu has volunteered to help if Ichimatsu needs to walk somewhere. Though… he gets the feeling that the others would be more than happy to volunteer if the third eldest were somehow busy when he needs to get up.

Every motion, from sitting up to reaching for things to just breathing, is painful thanks to the broken ribs. There’s nothing that can really be done for those, so he’s evidently got to just suffer. He remembers the doctor saying they should feel quite a bit better in a couple of weeks. Most of this is going to take a month or more to fully heal, which is… according to Osomatsu, a ‘major boner-killer’.

Sitting around doing nothing but being in pain is going to be the end of Ichimatsu. He’s sure of that. He can’t go outside to feed the cats, and it’s difficult to cuddle with them inside with all his injuries. That alone is pretty depressing.

The pain medication they sent him home with is also a little frustrating. The first time he takes it, it makes him so tired he sleeps right through dinner.

He falls asleep on the couch in the spare room, he knows, because it’s where he has to be set up for now. There’s noway he can sleep in the futon with everyone else while he tries to heal; that runs the risk of running into someone, or having one of his brothers accidentally run into him.

His leg’s in a cast and his wrist is in a splint, to protect them as they fix themselves, but if those areas have someone roll onto them, it’ll probably result in more damage. Which means more pain and more time added to his recovery.

It’s apparently a bad idea to sleep on the couch. When he wakes up, everything is sore and screaming in pain. Justified, unfortunately, since he fell asleep in the same position he was relaxing in.

Someone else… is here? There’s something warm pressed up against his side.

He glances over to find that he’s evidently been resting on Karamatsu’s shoulder, likely for a while given that Karamatsu’s eyes are closed too. It looks dark out, and Ichimatsu’s foggy mind busies itself wondering what time it is.

There’s a soft chuckle beside him, and looking over reveals one of his big brother’s eyes is cracked open now. It’s swiftly followed by the other one, then the sudden absence of a pressure around his shoulder makes him aware that Karamatsu had an arm around him. “Awake, hm?”

“Yeah…” He tries to stretch, stopped short when a jolting pain in his chest reminds him that it’s definitely a bad idea. “Oww. I don’t even remember falling asleep.”

“That’s alright. You started to get a bit drowsy about half an hour after Osomatsu-nii-san gave you your medicine. We saved you a plate from dinner, though, if you want me to go warm it up.”

Ichimatsu blinks. “I slept through dinner?? Shit. How late is it right now?”

His brother shifts a bit more to take out his phone. “Hm… a bit after midnight.”

“Midnight?” Well, fuck. Although he can justify an hour nap or so, he’s just slept like six hours. He missed dinner, he missed going to the bathhouse, he missed maybe a game of cards before bed.

Karamatsu laughs again, his hand tousling Ichimatsu’s hair fondly. “That’s right, my brother. Don’t worry. Osomatsu-nii-san said fatigue is a side effect of your medicine, and your body needs sleep right now, anyway. So, are you hungry? Mommy made soba and yakitori for dinner, but if you’d rather have something else, just say the word. Your wish is my command!”

Honestly… he’s not really that hungry. He knows he should probably eat; his stomach is just trying to tell him not to have anything heavy. Another side effect of the medication, maybe. “Are you… sure? I kind of just feel like plain miso and rice. Other stuff doesn’t sound good.”

“Of course! I’d be delighted to go heat some up. You simply rest and I’ll…” When he goes to stand up, something catches Ichimatsu’s eye, and he grabs his brother’s hand, weakly, with his own injured one. It’s painful, but…

Karamatsu’s eyes focus on his younger brother, brows furrowing. “Ichimatsu? What’s the matter?”

It’s… that cut on Karamatsu’s face. Ichimatsu didn’t notice it before. Now that he’s a bit more alert, it’s practically all he can see. It’s not very big, maybe the length of one of their little fingers, and not deep. It looks like a scrape from falling off one’s bike or something. He thinks maybe it had a bandage on it at one point. The color has faded into something dull; the skin around is still bright pink, though, suggesting that it’s irritated despite not being cut.

His gaze shifts down to find similar wounds on Karamatsu’s hands. On the palms, where he probably got a sort of road rash when he tried to catch himself after Ichimatsu pushed him out of the way.

His own wrist protests with a violent throb as he reaches to let his fingers graze lightly over Karamatsu’s wrist. Image after image of what might have happened to him if Ichimatsu wasn’t fast enough comes unbidden into his head. Karamatsu could be the one with a broken leg or broken ribs, or it could have been worse.

“Y… you’re okay… right?” As soon as those words are out of his mouth, tears start spilling. All at once he’s pulled into a hug, loose fists resting against his back. He can’t stop himself from leaning in, pressing his face against Karamatsu’s shoulder.

He can feel the soft rumble of mirthless laughter his big brother gives. “You’re the one who was hurt, Ichimatsu. I’m only okay because of you. If you hadn’t seen… I wasn’t paying attention…”

The words, “It should have been me”, hang heavily in the air even though Karamatsu doesn’t say them.

He brushes a delicate kiss over the side of his little brother’s forehead. “Heh… you would have been a better big brother than me. You kept us all safe when I failed. You probably saved my life, you know. Thank you.”

Ichimatsu isn’t sure why it’s now that the full weight of everything has hit him. Now, when he’s home and out of danger, when everything is okay. Shouldn’t he have been falling apart when he first woke up in the hospital? It shouldn’t have taken seeing Karamatsu’s small injuries to remind him that they all could have died when he’s the one in a cast.

It’s hard to keep himself together, to keep his breathing normal so he doesn’t completely go to pieces. (Though, if he did, what better place to do so than in his older brother’s arms?) “… You’d do the same for me, right? So it’s only fair.”

“I would,” Karamatsu hums. “Without a second thought. You’re my little brother and I love you very much and if I could save you from being hurt, I would. I’m… sorry I was so careless that I couldn’t do it this time.”

Ichimatsu grunts, slipping his good arm around Karamatsu’s waist in an effort to be closer. “Don’t feel too bad. The next car’ll be yours.”

-

After eating as much as he feels like he can, Ichimatsu allows Karamatsu to help transfer him to the floor. It’s already set up with a spare futon, a blanket, and a pillow, probably because someone guessed that sleeping on the sofa wouldn’t be comfortable.

He’s still in so much pain. The shoulder that was reduced back into place aches like an old war wound, and his chest is sore even when he’s lying still. To say nothing of his wrist and his leg. His whole body feels like one giant bruise, except worse.

Although Karamatsu insists he’d be just fine to stand guard all night, after a few minutes Choromatsu comes in and sends him back to the bedroom. Ichimatsu doesn’t hear too much of the conversation ― mostly whispers that Karamatsu needs to go get some sleep, that Choromatsu is glad to take a turn.

Soon enough, though, Karamatsu relents and comes to tell Ichimatsu goodnight before he leaves the room. Ichimatsu gets one more kiss on the head and a reassuring squeeze to his good hand and exchanges another round of “I love you”s with his brother, then heads into the bedroom.

Choromatsu came prepared, setting his own pillow up on the couch and tossing a blanket at the end just in case he needs it. “So… how are you feeling, Ichimatsu?”

“Mm… like crap, kinda.” He looks over to where his brother is trying to get settled in. “I can’t believe I slept six hours and I’m still tired. What kind of shit did they put me on?”

“Hah… y-yeah, it’s the good stuff, probably. Is it at least helping the pain a little?”

“A little. Like Mom said before we left the hospital, I… guess it’d be more worrying if I wasn’t in pain right now. I did get hit by a car.”

Choromatsu leans forward and places a cautious hand on his little brother’s head. Once that earns him no punishment, he gingerly combs through Ichimatsu’s hair. It certainly feels relaxing. “You sure did. I… I can’t believe you kept both Karamatsu and Totty safe. Adrenaline’s a… a weird thing, huh? I’m glad you’re all okay. Hopefully the pain medicine will work better once you’ve had a few doses.”

“Mh. I hope so.”

“Yeah. For now, just, uh… just try to get some more sleep, okay? Your body needs a lot of rest while you’re healing.”

Yep, that’s what Karamatsu said, too. Two of his brothers saying the same thing can’t be wrong. … Well, they could be, but it would be weird. “I’ll try. Thanks for… being here. I dunno that I’d really want to sleep alone for the whole night. Guess Totty’s rubbing off on me.”

A low chuckle leaves Choromatsu as Ichimatsu closes his eyes. The sound of rustling suggests that his older brother has laid down and pulled a blanket over himself as well.

After a moment of quiet between them, Ichimatsu becomes keenly aware of a sensation that definitely isn’t going to allow him to sleep. “Uuuugh. Shit.”

“Huh?” Choromatsu is sitting up in an instant, ready to practically spring out of his skin. “What’s wrong, Ichimatsu?”

“― My leg itches.”

“O-oh. So… scratch it??”

He throws his head back in frustration. “No, the one with the Goddamn cast on it.”

“Ohhh. Okay, uh, well…” Choromatsu gets up and rummages through one of the drawers for a few seconds.

After that, a pencil is pressed into Ichimatsu’s good hand with a smile. “Here, try this. Stick the eraser end down in the little space between your leg and the cast, then keep moving it. If the itch is high enough up, it should help.”

Ichimatsu raises an eyebrow at the advice. Well. What’s he got to lose, after all? He spends a moment trying to get the itch scratched after slipping the pencil down, and finally he sighs in relief. “Fuck, that’s a lot better. How’d you know that was gonna work?”

Choromatsu grins self-consciously, rubbing at the back of his neck. “Ah, well… remember when I broke my arm? When I went for my checkup, I had this itch inside the cast that was driving me nuts. So the nurse showed me this trick. It doesn’t always work, but…”

“Huh… well… thanks.” After everything, he’s just really tired and ready to sleep now. He would cross his fingers that nothing else disturbs him if he felt like moving at all.

“Heh, no problem. All good now?”

“I think so.” When he sees his brother straighten up to head back to the couch, his brain evidently thinks it’s good to say something. “H… hey. Choromatsu?”

Choromatsu looks back down, concern etched on his features. “Ah, yeah? What’s up?”

His heart is hammering so fast it feels like it’s trying to break more of his ribs. He doesn’t really want to embarrass himself. It’s just… he feels… “Can you… can you… stay for a minute? Down here?”

“Oh… yeah, sure. I can’t stay too long… I-I can’t sleep next to you. I might accidentally hurt you.” Even so, he lowers himself back down, sitting cross-legged and reaching to stroke Ichimatsu’s hair.

He nods. That’s part of the problem. Even though he normally wouldn’t have much complaint about being left to his own devices… he’s used to sleeping next to his brothers. Right on the end beside Karamatsu. When he’s not feeling well, being absent from them is apparently not doing him any favors. “I know. It’s just…”

His eyes drift closed once more. It must be the medicine making him feel out of it and way too honest. “… I think I’m gonna get lonely sleeping like this.”

“O-oh… gosh.” He can practically hear the frown in Choromatsu’s voice. The other man’s hand combs through his hair, a rhythmic and repetitive motion that makes him sleepy again. “I can probably… sleep like this, propped up against the couch. Is that okay?”

“Mmmh… I don’t want you to have to do that… you’ll make your back sore.”

He chuckles. “Ah, I-I think I can handle it. Even if that’s true, it’d be worth it to me so you don’t have to feel lonely. It’s the least I can do for my little brother.”

“I can’t stop you,” Ichimatsu mumbles. Sleep is scrabbling its tiny, strong fingers at him, trying to pull him down. It’s getting hard to resist. “If you want…”

“Yeah… yeah, I wanna do this for you.” Choromatsu leans down to press a small kiss to the top of Ichimatsu’s head. “Hey. Love you, Ichimacchan. Try to get some rest, okay?”

He doesn’t have to tell Ichimatsu twice. Within a minute of Choromatsu’s urging, he’s fallen back into a peaceful darkness.

-

When Ichimatsu wakes up the next morning, Choromatsu’s presence has been replaced by Jyushimatsu’s.

As much as he loves his immediate older brother, he doesn’t have any complaints. He and Jyushimatsu are very close, and his younger brother being here is pretty soothing to wake up to.

He’s uncharacteristically quiet, though that’s not to say he isn’t his usual energetic self. He appears to be flipping through baseball cards, maybe organizing them in his little album, humming to himself. There’s also one hand free to play with Ichimatsu’s hair, which he supposes is why he still feels relaxed.

“Hey, Jyushi.” His body reminds him why stretching is a bad idea right now, so he settles for arching his back a little in an effort to make something pop. Everything is sore. Even that little bit of movement hurts his ribs enough that he has trouble catching his breath for a minute. “Fuck… morning.”

“Oh! Yeah, it is morning!” Jyushimatsu is chipper as always, though when he leans in for a hug, he’s surprisingly gentle. “How’d you sleep, Ichimatsu-nii-san?”

“Okay, I guess. I still hurt a bunch.”

“Yeahhhh, you were crying in your sleep! But it’s okay! Because guess what? Jyushi is here!” He grins, nuzzling his cheek against Ichimatsu’s. It’s a bit weird, but par for the course as far as Jyushimatsu is concerned. Besides, the hug is nice after the fear of being lonely last night. “Did you have nightmares, huh?”

Now that he mentions it… yep. Ichimatsu’s dreams, or what he remembers of them, were filled with horrible things. The memory of being hit by the car, or the images of either Karamatsu or Totty being hit because he wasn’t fast enough.

He recalls one piece of a dream which involved looking into his own chest and seeing the end of a fractured rib shatter his glass heart.

A shudder runs through his body, prompting Jyushimatsu to tighten his grip just slightly. “Oh, you’re cold! It’s past breakfast, ‘cause you slept for a really long time, but I’ll go get you some tea!! Sound good?”

Given that his appetite hasn’t come back from war, that sounds better than anything else. Though he did manage to choke down that rice and miso last night, he’s not sure if he wants to eat even anything bland. “Yeah, sounds good. Put just a little bit of agave syrup in it for me?”

“Yeah! Anything for Ichimatsu-nii-san! Be right back, okay?”

With Jyushimatsu, ‘be right back’ is typically how it goes. He’s only gone for a few minutes, or at least it only seems like a few minutes.

Regardless, Ichimatsu has a cup of tea in his hand relatively quickly. Almost as if his brother predicted that it would be difficult to hold something very hot with only one hand, the tea is warm, not boiling hot.

It’s easier to balance it with one hand, plus this means it’s pretty much the perfect temperature to drink. As he starts to sip it, he feels Jyushimatsu’s hand, covered entirely by his sleeve, rubbing affectionately between his shoulder blades. “It’s good, huh?”

He swallows and gives the other a nod. “Yeah, pretty good. Thanks.” Thankfully, it should wake him up, too. He’s still feeling kind of groggy.

“Good!! Osomatsu-nii-san said he’s gonna give you your medicine in a minute, since I told him you were up and hurting.” Jyushimatsu shoves his binder of cards away, shifting up to sit on the sofa. “Do you want me to move you up here after you’re done drinking?”

“Probably, yeah. You got anything you wanna do today?” Another sip, and he sighs in relief feeling the warmth flow through him. Damn.He can’t believe he could take something as simple as a cup of tea in the morning for granted. “I can’t really help with baseball practice… but we could watch TV together or something.”

“Sure! We can watch whatever you want!” After only a few seconds, Jyushimatsu wiggles himself back down and leans against his big brother’s shoulder. “Hey, Ichimatsu-nii-san… I’m really glad you’re okay. Even though you’re hurt and everything, you’re home with us instead of… being not home with us!”

The least he can do is let his head rest gently against Jyushimatsu’s. “Yeah… I’m glad I’m home, too. Don’t think I’d rather be anywhere else.”

Jyushimatsu nods eagerly, making a brief, dull wave of pain wash through Ichimatsu. However, he’d rather have that pain than not have his little brother close. “We’ll take really good care of you! Just say if you need anything, okay? I’m really strong and I can get anything! … And if I can’t, Osomatsu-nii-san probably can!”

“Heh.” Ichimatsu takes another gulp of his tea. “You guys are the best.”

-

True to Jyushimatsu’s word, Osomatsu is in pretty soon to give Ichimatsu the painkillers. For whatever reason, even when he can’t be trusted with literally anything else, the eldest is pretty good at monitoring medicine when one of the others needs it.

All things being equal, Ichimatsu has a lot of faith in taking medicine when Osomatsu keeps track of it. He knows how much was dispensed, how many Ichimatsu is supposed to take and how often, how many are left, and all the related things. He’s like some kind of idiot savant who was put on Earth to be a pill counter.

After he takes it, he expects to start getting tired again, so he silently begs Osomatsu to stay on the couch with him. They’re all supposed to be hanging out anyway, based on what Jyushimatsu said, so right now he decides he wants to be close to his oldest brother for a little bit.

Osomatsu seems all too happy to oblige, snuggling Ichimatsu as close as he dares to. It’s probably not a good idea to use normal force, so the touches are… lighter than usual. It’s not so bad.

He settles in on Osomatsu’s shoulder, trying to get his eyes to focus on the show Jyushimatsu turned it to for him. It’s kind of unfortunate that he’s almost certainly going to fall asleep on it. “You guys are taking really good care of me,” he sighs, letting his eyes slip closed. “You want my allowance? Or, like… a bag of sardines?”

Osomatsu snorts. “What? You’re nuts, man. We’re taking care of you because we want to and because you need it. I mean, if I was sitting here with a broken leg, a broken wrist, broken ribs, and had to have my shoulder cherry popped back into place, wouldn’t you all be like, ‘Wow, maybe we should give the poor bastard a hand’? We’re just doing the same thing for you that we’d do for any one of us.”

Ichimatsu huffs. “Yeah, well… you’re all doing a lot. Karamatsu went in the kitchen past midnight to make me miso and rice, Choromatsu probably fucked up his back sleeping against the couch so I wouldn’t be lonely, Jyushi’s waiting on me, and you’ve got my medicine on a damn schedule or something.”

“Yeah, well,” Osomatsu grins, “I can’t leave it up to you, crackhead.”

He can’t help but chuckle at that. Even so, it’s not going to make him totally drop this. “I’m serious. You guys are…”

Osomatsu nudges him carefully. “We’re being brothers, you boner. I know we suck at showing it sometimes, but… you know we all love each other, right? I guess it’s easier to show it when one of us is sick or hurt. Just so happens you’re the hurt one right now. And also your ass is on painkillers, so everything seems weird to you.”

… Okay, so maybe he can’t fault that logic. Still, though.

They’re both quiet for a long moment while they watch the screen, then Osomatsu lets out a soft hum. “You did good, you know. I don’t like that you tried to get yourself killed, but you did good.”

“I wasn’t trying to get myself killed,” Ichimatsu retorts with the nastiest facial expression he can muster right now. “I didn’t wanna get hit, either. But Karamatsu and Totty weren’t paying attention… I didn’t want them to get hit. I was trying to get us all out of that way… I just wasn’t fast enough.”

Osomatsu scoffs before reaching his hand up to ruffle Ichimatsu’s hair. He appears to be getting a lot of pets like that lately, not that he’s complaining. It feels really good and is one of the biggest comforts he has right now. “You protected them, anyway. I can’t say too much, because you didn’t do anything I wouldn’t have done if it were me.”

Ichimatsu offers a low, mocking wail. “Oh, shit. I’m turning into you. I think I’d rather be a cat. If I were a really bratty cat, you’d still be nice enough to feed me sardines and scratch behind my ears, right?”

“Uhhhh, I guess. You’re changing the subject, you dick.” A small puff of laughter makes his bangs move. “I just… wanna say I really respect you, man. Sometimes I remember the days when you would kick Karamatsu in the leg just for breathing the wrong way. And when you used to blow Totty off to hang with your friends in high school.”

He gets a shrug in response. “People change. We’ve all changed a lot.”

“Yeah, sure. I know.” His arm shifts down and he squeezes Ichimatsu’s good hand in that reassuring, proud way only an older sibling can. “They haven’t all been good changes. But seeing you trying to keep the others safe… that’s a a good change. Just gotta give you your props, Ichimacchan.”

He’s too tired to really argue with Osomatsu. Despite the fact that he knows he’s the shittiest of them all, he has to at least silently acknowledge that what he did prevented one of his older brothers and his baby brother from being in the same pain he’s in right now.

Instead of saying anything meaningful, he just presses himself in more against Osomatsu and mutters, “That’s nice. I’m tired.”

Osomatsu snorts and Ichimatsu feels a light kiss on top of his head. “Alright, dumbass, get some sleep. The pills are probably kicking in. Let me know if you need anything.”

Ichimatsu thinks that, right now, all he needs is his big brother to be the perfect pillow, and he’s doing a pretty good job of that.

-

Although it’s not dark at all the next time Ichimatsu wakes up, it’s significantly later than he meant to sleep. 3 P.M., meaning that once again he’s slept through a meal ― lunch, this time.

Just like last night, he finds that he’s not really all that hungry. Even so, it might be a good idea to eat, so probably he ask Osomatsu to get him something small.

When he shifts and looks over, though, Osomatsu isn’t there anymore. Instead, there’s Totty…

… Oh.

He’s holding onto Ichimatsu pretty tight. Ichimatsu isn’t sure he can move too much with the way Totty is holding him.

“Hey,” he says softly. “Totty? Everything okay?”

His little brother stiffens, wide eyes suddenly turning up to look at him. Unlike what he noticed about Karamatsu, Totty doesn’t have any physical injuries, but… the skin around his eyes is red and puffy. “Y… yeah, it’s all good. Sorry, am I hurting you?”

“No… not really hurting.” He doesn’t remember having seen Totty too much after everything happened. He visited Ichimatsu in the hospital, all teary-eyed and not talking, before they were all allowed to take him home. Once he got home, though, he can’t recall Totty being around a lot even though everyone else was.

He assumed Totty was freaked out after everything and avoiding him just because he’s emotional right now. Seems Ichimatsu was right about that.

He maneuvers his good arm to put it around Totty’s shoulders, pulling him in closer. “Have you been crying? You sure you’re okay?”

Totty sniffles and dips his head down. “Yeah, sorry… I just…”

“Don’t be sorry, dumbass.” Even though it hurts a little to move so much, Ichimatsu cuddles his brother in against him. “It’s fine, you big crybaby. I just wanna make sure you’re okay.”

“I should be the one making sure you’re okay.” Regardless, Totty nestles in, tucking his head under Ichimatsu’s chin. It’s a bit of a weight on his hurt ribs, but it’s not that bad. “… H-hey. I, um. You know. I… I love you.”

Huh. It’s been a while since Totty has said that point-blank to any of his brothers, Ichimatsu thinks. It’s kind of nice to hear. He closes his eyes and offers an appreciative hum. “I love you, too. That it?”

Totty lets out a frustrated sigh, and Ichimatsu can just imagine the pout he has on his face. Kinda cute. He can’t really help himself; the youngest is always gonna be the baby, always gonna be adorable, even when he’s acting like a little bitch or if he wants to deny it. “I wanted to… say I’m sorry.”

“For…?”

“For… everything! Y-you know, for almost getting hit and… I mean, you got hurt trying to protect me and Karamatsu! If I hadn’t tried to follow him without even looking… you wouldn’t have had to worry about me. And… and I haven’t been with you too much since you got home…”

He nuzzles his head against Ichimatsu’s collarbone, kneading his hand against the top of his brother’s good leg. “I’m sorry about that. It’s just… I’ve been… really upset. It was scary, seeing the car hit you…”

The hum Ichimatsu gives this time is lower, pensive and understanding. “Yeah. Mom said you were crying a lot when she got to the hospital. ‘S okay to be kinda freaked out, you know.”

“Yeah, I know… and I was… am.I was scared the whole time… Karamatsu tried to wake you up, but you were just lying there and you wouldn’t…” Totty sniffles and his hand curls into a weak fist against Ichimatsu’s knee. “I didn’t wanna lose you, Ichimatsu-nii-san, and I was really afraid you were gone. I’m happy you’re okay… I just… I-I was pretty sure I was gonna cry the first time I tried to take care of you, so I… wanted to be alone with you. Crying in front of all you guys is…”

Ichimatsu nods to quiet his brother, ghosting a kiss over the top of Totty’s head. “I get it. It’s okay, Totty. C’mere, okay… you don’t have to be sorry for being freaked out and not wanting to cry and all that shit. I’m sure Karamatsu’s freaked out, too. And everyone else. Don’t apologize for your feelings, stupid.”

An indignant huff is the response he gets, before Totty presses in against Ichimatsu’s uninjured shoulder. “It just makes me think a lot,” he finally confesses.

Ichimatsu smirks. “Right. And you’re so out of practice with thinking, it’s hard. I know.”

“Th-that’s not it, you jerk!” Totty whines and brings his arms in, curled against his chest. His knees come up onto the couch, folded under him, as he tries to get comfortable. “It makes me think… anything could happen, at any moment, and that… might be it.And I know we’re all shitty to each other a lot of the time, but… but I love all of you.”

He sniffles, snuggling against Ichimatsu when his big brother pulls him even closer. “The thought that one of us might… die… I-I didn’t… I didn’t know how afraid I was of that… till I thought it happened. If one of us wasn’t here… it… it wouldn’t be the same anymore.”

“… Yeah.” Ichimatsu gives Totty a squeeze that’s maybe a little tighter than necessary. It’s not like he can pretend that Totty is wrong. He’s right. Even though they’re all assholes and treat each other like crap sometimes, the last thing any of them want is for their family to be… incomplete.

They sit quietly for what feels like a long time, holding each other. Breathing. Just existing in sync, in perfect understanding for a while.

Sometimes, it’s true, Ichimatsu is kind of a death seeker. Sometimes he really does want to die. Sometimes he doesn’t care about anything, and just wants it all to end so he doesn’t have to deal with the weight of life anymore.

Sometimes, though… sometimes he fights death with all he has. He thinks maybe that’s what happened after he got hit by the car.

It would have been easy to die then. To just let his injuries swallow him up and put out his life like blowing out a candle.

He’s in a lot of pain right now, but he’s not dead. There must be a reason, right?

He thinks this is the reason.

Holding his youngest brother and realizing how broken his absence would leave his family, thinking about how broken it would be if anyof them were gone, how much they love each other…

… For once, he’s happy to be alive.

[elletromil]

Inspired by this post and because I couldn’t possibly resist @jockvillagersonly ​‘s dulcet tones challenging me. Let it be known that I am no coward.

***

Rain has been falling down on Wushanju in an omnipresent pitter-patter all day, effectively cutting out any other sound and making it feel like they’re completely alone in the world.

It is a rather nice feeling, especially after their latest expedition. Pangzi is quite happy to pretend no one else exist outside of their little bubble for the time being. Trouble will find them again soon enough. Or Tian Zhen will go look for trouble himself in a fit of boredom. The odds of either happening are even.

But for now, he hasn’t grown bored of staying safe at home yet, so Pangzi lets himself actually relax.

It also helps that Xiaoge is still at Wushanju too and for once, doesn’t seem to be growing restless by the day. Pangzi worries a lot less for Xiaoge than he does for Tian Zhen, but he still prefers when the three of them are under the same roof.

It makes it far easier to make sure they’re taking care of themselves properly.

Before he starts on diner preparations, he brings a fresh pot of tea to Tian Zhen, the other man still entranced by whatever he was researching this morning. That could be cause for concern, but Pangzi knows the difference between genuine curiosity and chaos-inducing curiosity with Tian Zhen. Thankfully, this looks like it still falls into the first category.

Tian Zhen barely notices him, but he moans appreciatively at his first sip of warm tea after he absently reaches for the cup and that’s acknowledgement enough to Pangzi.

Finding Xiaoge proves a bit trickier. It’s easy enough on sunny days, where Pangzi usually finds him outside lazing in a patch of sun like some kind of big cat, but rainy days are another matter entirely. If he’s not silently hanging around either of them already and not curled up in his favourite couch head buried in one novel or another, than it’s anybody’s guess where he’s holed himself up for a nap. Pangzi has honestly long since stopped being surprised as to the weird places he’s found Xiaoge napping.

It never cease to make him wince though, because it seriously can’t be comfortable. But he’s long past his days of trying to carry Xiaoge to bed. For one his attempts always resulted in Xiaoge waking up and denying he needed more rest. For two, he’d rather not pull his back if it’s not a life or death situation.

He finally finds him contorted on a windowsill. The position looks highly uncomfortable to Pangzi, but Xiaoge doesn’t seem bothered by it at all, judging from how deeply he’s sleeping. Which must be quite deeply indeed, since he’s snoring lightly. It’s not that rare an occurrence in Wushanju, where Xiaoge feels safe enough to let his guard down. But it usually happens when he’s curled up in bed between Tian Zhen and Pangzi.

He locates the nearest of the quilts he’s make a habit to leave in every room of the house for this precise kind of situation and gently wraps it around Xiaoge, moving in rhythm with his breathing as to minimize the probability of him waking up. It’s not really that cold today, especially considering he’s wearing his usual hoodie, but Pangzi would rather not have Xiaoge fall sick in his old age. They’ve all had enough of hospitals for a lifetime.

Now reassured that both Tian Zhen and Xiaoge are safe and warm for the time being, he finally goes to start on dinner. He’d rather not deal with their whining if they start being hungry before the meal is ready.

[professorrw]

All I Want, Remus Lupin Fanfiction

Chapter Four

Warnings: eventual smut, death, violence, swearing, age gap, slight angst, major spoilers for Deathly Hallows

AN: Comment if you’d like to be tagged in future parts! If you enjoyed this, please like, comment, and reblog!

You wake up from your nap feeling refreshed, for the first time in a few days you didn't have nightmares. You get up and look out the window, it's still bright out. Walking through the bedroom door, you notice that Remus isn't in the living room. There's nowhere else in the house he could be without you knowing. The cover you gave Remus is folded neatly on the couch.

Suddenly the front door opens and you instinctively draw your wand from your pocket. Standing in the door is Lupin, staring at you with wide eyes. "Y/N! I'm sorry I went to get some things from the market. I didn't want to wake you." You sigh and put your wand up. Of course that's where he was. He wouldn't abandon you.

Lupin sets several things down on the counter and begins to put them away in their designated spots. You stand in the same spot you had before, twiddling your thumbs. You couldn't help but feel awkward not knowing having anything to do. Not being in constant motion made you feel a little out of place. There weren't many calm moments at the Burrow or at Hogwarts. Being here was definitely a change of pace that you were going to have to adjust to.

"Did you sleep well?" Remus asked, turning around and putting his hands in his pockets.

"Yes I did. For the first time in a while actually. I haven't exactly gotten used to being able to sit back and worry about myself for a while," you replied.

"I know the feeling. Although it is not only me I worry about but you as well. I know you're completely capable of doing things on your own but you've just had a part of your life taken away so I want to be here for you in any way you need," Remus said, looking you straight in the eye.

Something inside you hoped that being there for you meant forever, and not just while you're coping with your parents' deaths. Ignoring that thought, you smiled at him, "You don't know how much that means to me, really."

Letting the corners of his mouth come up, Lupin walked past you and sat on the couch. Turning on the spot you watched him as he crossed one leg over the other and picked up a book. You honestly didn't know what to do. Your mind made you want to be busy, made you feel like you had to be. Keeping busy was the only thing that controlled your mind from wandering onto your parents and the hole that was trying to heal itself inside you.

At this point Remus had put his book down and was looking at you with concern, "Are you alright Y/N?" Noticing that you had been standing planted on the spot, you moved to the couch to sit on the opposite side of Lupin, "Yes. I'm fine. I'm just feeling a bit restless is all. I feel like I should be doing something right now."

"You're doing the right thing. I promise. Not only are you keeping yourself safe, you're keeping me company," Remus said with a slight smirk. Feeling the blood rush to your face, you turn away from him so he can't see the effect he has on you. Suddenly you feel a hand on your shoulder. You turn, although you know it can only be Remus's hand. He had inched closer while you were turned away and he looked at you with earnest.

"There is no other place you should be right now other than hear. You are safe and I am here to protect you. I don't think I would be able to sleep at night knowing you could be in danger. Besides, I'm sure Molly would have a meltdown if you were to run off as well. We all know how much it has taken a toll on her to not know the whereabouts of Ron, Harry, and Hermione," Lupin concluded.

You knew he was right. This is where you needed to be. You had to be safe for Harry, Ron, and Hermione's sake. If someone were to get hold of you it would jeopardize the mission. Even though it pained you to sit still and wait you would do it for them. And for Remus.

"You're right. You're always right," you laughed softly. Lupin shook his head and chuckled as well, "I don't know about that." Realizing his hand was still on your shoulder, Lupin moved his hand to his lap. You couldn't help but feel a tinge of disappointment. Deciding to be a bold Slytherin you said, "I care about you as well. I would do anything in my power to keep you safe Remus."

It wasn't what you really wanted to say but it was early in your affection for Remus. You wanted your feelings to develop for him a while longer and see what happens. You had always taken a liking to Remus but because you were a student until now you never dared think of him as anything more than a friend. Spending time with him was making you feel otherwise.

"I'm glad you feel that way Y/N," Lupin smiled. You couldn't tell what he meant by that. Was he hinting at something or were just looking into it too much? You didn't want to think it was the latter so you dropped it.

Remus sighed deeply, drawing you out of your thoughts. "The full moon approaches," he whispered. You knew this meant he would start to feel bad soon. Would he be okay? Sensing your worry Remus said, "I have plenty of Wolfsbane. I also have the things to make too. I will leave the house when it's about time so you have nothing to worry about." Although he aimed to reassure you it didn't. It wasn't you that you feared for, it was him.

"Will you be alright?" you asked, trying not to sound too urgent. "Yes. Don't fret, I will be fine," Lupin answered. His response didn't put you at ease whatsoever, but you didn't want to push it.

After a few minutes of silence from you, Lupin picked his book back up and continued to read. You picked one up as well and began to read too.

You completely lost track of time and when you looked out the window it was dark. Remus seemed to realize as well, for he placed his book back on the table and got up. He walked over to the kitchen and began to pull out a pan and a few other items. From your position on the couch you could only see Remus's back. You could hear sizzling and smell bacon.

Soon Remus returned, brandishing two plates. He handed one to you and sat down. He began to eat so you took that as your que to eat as well. You both ate in comfortable silence; the only noises that could be heard was the scrape of a fork against your plates ever so often.

Once you had both finished Remus took your plates to the sink and washed them off. He returned and looked at you, "It seems pretty late. I think I'll be heading to bed." You could tell he was tired and wanted to sleep but didn't want to be impolite and tell you to get up. You stood and told him goodnight, leaving to go to your room.

You laid in bed for a while, mind drifting everywhere. What would you do when this was over? It wasn't like you were going to return to school, you were finished. You would need to find a job. But where would you work? Where would you go? These thoughts plagued you as you went to sleep.

Contradictory to your nap earlier in the day, your sleep was riddled with nightmares. You saw scenes of your parents bodies, although you never saw them dead. You saw the face of Greyback. You suddenly awake, tears streaming from your face. There was a soft knock on the door, "Y/N can I come in?" You tried to quickly wipe your tears, replying with a weak, "Yes".

Lupin walked in and sat next to you on the bed. "You were screaming. I wanted to make sure you were okay," he said softly. You sniffled, "I had a nightmare. It was about my parents and Greyback." Lupin nodded his head and frowned slightly. He didn't like seeing you cry.

"Can I tell you something?" Remus said finally. "Of course," you murmured. "I thought you would avoid me after your parents died. I thought you'd despise what I am," he confessed. "Why would I ever do that?" you asked, suppressing your continuous tears. "Greyback is a werewolf. I'm a werewolf," he spat.

"Remus," you pleaded, "you are not just a werewolf. You are an incredible person. I could never despise you. You are wonderful in every way. You aren't Greyback. Greyback is nowhere near as caring and brave as you." You were afraid you had said too much but before you knew it Remus had wrapped his arms around you. "That means the world to me," he shuddered.

Your heart felt like it would burst out of your chest. You rubbed Lupin's back as his hand came up to stroke your hair. You sat like this for a while before you slowly drifted off.

Taglist: @bellamy1998 @sxsalvatore​ @ottjord​

[malfoys-demigod]

Night Owl - Draco Malfoy x Reader

Summary: Draco realizes that he’s not alone, up late at night in the common room. 

The night was cold, as the cool breezes from the outside managed to sneak in the Slytherin dorms despite having the windows tightly shut. The cool air started giving Draco chills in his spine, slowly awakening him from his sleep. He thought he could ignore it and simply go back to sleep but for some reason, Draco was having a hard time trying to fall asleep. Aside from his back feeling cold, the air suddenly went to his feet, making him crouch in his bed as he tried warming himself with his blanket. 

After a good five minutes of attempting to go back to sleep, Draco finally gave up as he quietly jumped from his bed, now sitting on the edge of his bed. ‘What a night’ he thought, covering his face with the palm of his hands as he internally whined. Feet dangling from the bed, Draco felt the cold air go through his toes as he sighed. He just wanted a good night’s sleep from a heavy day but he was given a bad night. 

Not knowing what to do, his feet met his shoes as he stood up from his bed, slowly walking over to the door as he planned on getting out of his dorm. As he silently closed the door, he turned around and quietly made his way to the common room. He wondered if anyone was still awake and hanging around but he doubted it. After all, it was probably around 2 am right now. Who could still be awake?

Getting his answer, he finally arrived at the common room, realizing he wasn’t the only one awake. He saw someone sitting down on the couch facing the fireplace, slowly moving its head from left to right. Extremely curious to whom it might be, Draco closely walked towards you, tilting his head as he was about to identify who the student was. 

Before he could walk any further, you turned to your right, surprisingly seeing Draco out of his dorm. “Oh,” you exclaimed, “Draco! What are you doing up?” 

He crossed his arms, laughing and giving you a raised eyebrow, “I could ask you the same thing, love.” 

Well, staying up late most times was really a regular thing for you. This meant that this was the first time you encountered Draco up at night in the common room. Being up at night in the common room was something you actually enjoyed. You were a true night owl, using your free time at night to read books that you couldn’t do after school as you devoted your time to academics and getting your work done. 

Of course, you made up for your sleep by getting a cat naps in your dorm during the afternoon after work is done. Then when dinner ends, you hang out in the common room, watching as people leave every hour as the night was getting late. There was always happiness in your eyes when you see that you were finally the only one in the common room. Time for peace and quiet to do practically anything till you went back to your dorm at an appropriate time. 

“Well, Draco,” you said, closing your book, “the common room at this time is practically my turf.”

“Oh?

“Oh yes, love.” you imitated the way he called you “love” which made him blush and chuckle at the same time. Motioning for him to sit beside you, he followed, wrapping his robe tighter as he sat next to you. “So, did the cold wake our Slytherin Prince up?” you asked, observing the way he started hugging himself for warmth. 

“As if it wasn’t obvious.” he joked, rubbing his arms slowly. 

Feeling pity, you held out the blanket you were covering yourself, now wrapping the other end on him as your bodies collided. This made both of you turn even red but you had to do it because you didn’t want to be an ass and keep the blanket all to yourself. It would have just seemed unfair and rude of you. 

“I hope you’re okay now.” 

“Sweetheart,” he shyly looked at you softly, “I think I’ve been more than okay seeing that I wasn’t the only one in the common room, especially knowing that it’s you of all people.” 

“I think I agree with that.” you smiled. You now turned to look at the fireplace, watching the fire burn as you feel the warmth in your cheeks. Aside from the warmth of the fire, this little interaction you’re currently having with Draco made your face redder than ever. 

“So, my favorite night owl, what’s tonight’s book?” 

“Usually I read whatever I can find from the library but tonight’s book is actually just my potion’s book. I know, how studious of me right? I was too overwhelmed by today’s work that I didn’t have time to stop by the library for a book so, I thought maybe the potions book would do for tonight. After all, I think I’d like to know more about one of my favorite subjects.”

“What a coincidence, I consider potions my favorite class!” 

“Draco Malfoy, Slytherin Prince and also Potions Prince?” 

“I think Potions Master has a better ring to it. But yes, you get the idea.”

You snickered, thinking about how your friendship with Draco, the Slytherin Prince, and Potions Master just started growing into a real friendship. Sure, you considered each other friends but you never really seen the softer side of his. You honestly had second thoughts after wrapping your blanket around him, fearing that he was going to push it away but you were really glad he accepted it. 

“Do you want to hear some potions facts?” he asked. “My mind must be slow right now but I think I can name the top ten useful potions without reading off your book”

“Go for it, Potions Prince.” you yawned, smiling at him. 

“Okay let’s start with the last.

The aging potion. It’s a powerful blend that will temporarily make you older. In fact, the more you consume, the bigger the maturing process. 

Ninth, the draught of the living dead. It’s extremely powerful and dangerous at the same time as it sends the drinker into a death-like slumber. If it were up to me, love, I wouldn’t want to see you doing this as it might have bad side-effects. 

Eighth, wolfsbane potion. It prevents werewolves from losing their mental faculties post-transformations. The tonic must be taken each day of the week preceding the full moon in order to be effective at the correct moment.

Seventh, Amortentia. You obviously know that, love. Strongest love potion and all, eh?”

Draco asks you for reassurance but only to find you fast asleep, as you started leaning on his body. He couldn’t help but smile as he looked at your sleepful figure, breathing in and out slowly as you started nuzzling into his shoulder. He wrapped an arm around you, holding you in closer and tighter as he whispered in your ear, “I suppose we can continue the rest tomorrow. For now, rest, my dear.” he planted a small kiss on your forehead as he slowly moved you to rest your head on his lap, making you more comfortable as his head pulled back, resting on the couch, closing his eyes and finally drifting off to sleep.

[annakie]

Are we out of the woods yet?

Hey all, haven't been on tumblr in a few days!

I have been living through what so many other Texans have been living through, so I thought I’d write a bunch of words about it, for posterity.  My story isn’t nearly as bad as so many others, but hey, it was still a fairly major historical event so... writing it for my own memories. :)

Post title because that particular Taylor Swift song was stuck in my head for most of the last few days, for obvious reasons.

So the last week has been an adventure! Last Friday I got my first Moderna Vaccine, and I posted about it a few times, but by Monday was feeling pretty good. Of course, it snowed overnight. I'd been so out of it all weekend I didn't realize quite how bad it was going to be, but when a friend who lives nearby told me his power was out I kinda went "uh oh", baked myself a box mix of orange cranberry bread, fortified some windows with blankets, and crossed my fingers. Also starting that morning I'd reduced the temperature in the house, and shut off and unplugged everything non-essential.

I was feeling pretty happy when the power stayed on all day. My friend's power came back that evening so I thought I was out of the woods.

And then at 10pm... plunged into darkness.

I threw some more blankets into areas where the cats hang out and my bed, let some friends know, and tried to go to bed, hoping for the best in the morning. Couldn't fall asleep for hours, worrying, as the temperature was plunging to the negatives for the first time in living memory in Texas. Finally fell into a restless sleep, and woke up a few hours later, no power.

The worst thing about no power is like, all the things you can't do. My phone started at 100% charge and I'd charged all my devices including my backup battery, but still tried to conserve power. The scary thing was hearing that this could last for days. And boy the news that day was bleak about the possibility of having power again anytime soon. The house, however, stayed at about 51 degrees the entire day. So, it was cold, but very bearable with a few layers and blankets. Whichever cats I was near were very cuddly though.

I was really glad to have the cranberry orange bread because it was tasty and easy to eat. Also had a sizeable amount of beef jerkey, and chips, and I'd bought about 48 bottles of water at the start of the pandemic that I never drank, so I had no worries about what to eat for the time, luckily. I figured, worst case, I'd figure out a way to do soup over a candle to have a hot meal eventually.

I’d been dripping the bathtub and checking the other faucets regularly.  I’ve never had a burst pipe in the normal cold we have, and was hoping for the best this time as well.  All seemed well the entire day.

I slept a lot when I wasn't scrolling twitter and nextdoor for information. And early afternoon there was a knock on the door. My mom literally called the cops to do a wellness check on me because I hadn't answered texts in a few hours, lol. I thanked him, and called my mom. Internet had been spotty and her calls weren't going through, nor notifications when I got texts. So that was... notable.

I tried doing some reading, and playing on my Switch but to be honest, I was so anxious about everything that I couldn’t relax and keep my mind on anything but the lack of power and when it’d come back.  I did take about four naps though. Considered bringing some of the cats into the car with me to warm up but realized I’d have to lift the garage door manually to run the car without, you know, dying, and instead just turned it on for less than a minute twice that day to keep the battery fresh...er... without carbon monoxide poisoning.  (My garage door is solid wood.  Even with good springs... it’s heavy.)

By the time it started to get dark, I started to worry about how much longer this would go on. I have a friend who has a 4-wheel drive... idk a land rover or something. He lives about 30 minutes away normally. It'd probably take well over an hour for him to get there now, especially since there was another storm coming that night. Since learning my power was out, he'd been asking if he could come get me, and they had steady rolling blackouts in their neighborhood, several other people I knew nearby were also saying their blackouts were rolling along.

I resisted, because I really didn't want to move the cats but I would never ever abandon my pets. But also it would be very difficult to move them. Patchy doesn't get along with any of them -- she stays in the master bedroom 100% of the time. There was a short period of time last year she would explore the house, but she got along with everyone else, especially Fry, so poorly that she decided she did not want to explore the house anymore. Fry sometimes wanders into the master bedroom and if they're both on the floor there's lots of hissing and yelling, and maybe swatting. She also has nothing but hissing for Pemily and Leela if she sees them. The master is her domain, the rest of the cats can have everything else.

Everyone else can be mean to Leela, though she gets along OK with Pemily most of the time. 

But Fry is just... hoo boy he is nothing but a problem child I don’t want to subject on others.  He’s a bully and an asshole and yells loudly when anything doesn’t go his way.  He would really, really not take a new environment well.  He hates the outside, and runs away when I even open a door.  And getting him to the vet involves kitty sleeping pills, though he also still fights through it enough to freak out the entire time he’s in a carrier badly, yeowling the entire time and literally rips all his nails off trying to get out, still trying to dig his way out with bloody paws.  It’s a nightmare.  So the thought of getting all four of them into carriers at the same time, then putting them all in a car for well over an hour (and the entire trip would be nothing but all four of them crying the entire time with Fry being the worst), then bringing them into someone else’s house, and needing two separate rooms because I can’t put Patchy in the same room as the other three... and trying to keep them all calm in a whole new situation when none of them were used to any other environment than my house (aside from yearly trips to the vet) man... moving them was a last resort.

But around 10pm when I had been sitting in the dark for 24 hours, I texted him and said in the morning, if the power wasn't on, we'd talk about him coming to get me and the cats in the morning.

I fortified Leela’s bed with a blanket fort.  (Pic above was from later, when I got power, and was way more open than I kept it when it was cold.) I couldn’t get her to move anywhere else... it actually worked pretty well. 

I fortified the master bedroom with blankets over the sliding glass door on Monday and then put Patchy’s cat bed on the bed and fortified IT with more blankets.  After she was settled in I managed to get her covered up.  Then I went into the living room, which is the smallest room in the house and a room most would use as a bedroom, and snuggled into the couch with Fry and Pemily, the door cracked for ventilation, and four candles burning. 

Fell asleep around 10:30.

Around midnight I was woken up by a terrifying sound... running water.  Honestly thought I was dreaming for a moment, had to work to pull myself out of my dream, and my heart froze in terror that I may have a burst pipe.  And then I heard a very, very good sound... the furnace turning on. 

POWER!  26 hours later.. POWER.  The running water sound was the cats’ water fountain.

Got out of bed, nuked myself a small frozen pizza, checked around the house for everything and everyone being OK, plugged in all my portable devices to recharge, and went back to sleep.  Woke up around 4 and still had power.  I thought... I really wanted a hot meal and should cook something that wouldn’t be bad as cold leftovers for lunch, as I’d finished the cranberry orange bread when I woke up at midnight.  I didn’t want to use too much power so uh... I made Fettuccine Alfredo, and ate half of it... at 4am.  What?  It was good.

Also... I hadn’t seen the stray cat I’d been taking care of since Sunday night.  He hadn’t even visited because there were no tracks in the snow.  Checked the backyard randomly and he was there!!!  So he got food and water.  I was very happy.

THERE’S THE BOY!  I call him Patchy’s Boyfriend.  Taken through the blinds as to not scare him.

Animal tracks in the snow!!  I was glad some birbs got some water, too!

Went back to bed in my own bed.  Woke up a little later than normal for work with the power still on.  Texted my folks to tell them the good news.  Got up and went into the kitchen, started contemplating coffee and pancakes for a hot meal.  Opened the fridge for the first time and checked the milk.  Sadly, it didn’t survive, and realized I was a dumbass for not just.. putting the groceries... in the garage... where it was cold...

And just as I sighed and started to decide if I wanted coffee without milk... the power went back off.  Aw, damn.

My spirits were lifted, though, at having power and a warm house overnight.  I checked in with work and let them know I’d be out again unless the power came back, told my friends and said NOT to come get me, decided NOT to tell my mom the power was off again, because all that would do is make them worry about me all day again, checked on the cats and tucked them in, and went back to bed.  Got some more sleep.

Relaxed more that day, with the house taking longer to cool down.  Actually played some Switch, read the first couple of books in the Mass Effect Comic Collection.  Had cold Alfredo and an apple with peanut butter for lunch.  Scrolled twitter a lot more, not afraid to have to go to my backup battery if needed.

Right around the time I’d usually be knocking off for work... the power came on again.

And it didn’t shut off.  Yay.

In total I was without power somewhere around 34 hours.  It sucked.. but also... I didn’t have my pipes burst... they didn’t even freeze.  The house never dipped below 50, thanks insulation!  My water was always running, though for a few hours it was very low pressure, and always clean.  My city government and congressman were both very involved and communicative, doing their best to help people and get the word out.  City had two warming centers should I have needed them, one of which was pet friendly.  I had plenty of food and water, enough for a week or more easily.  I had friends willing to put themselves at risk and through inconvenience to make sure I was taken care of.

A lot of people had it much, much worse.  So yeah.  I don’t ever wanna do that again, but for me, it wasn’t all that bad.

Shoutouts to:

My nearby friend Eric, who would have let me stay at his place if needed.

My far-away friend Marcus for offering to come and get me, and suffer the inconvenience of my cats.  Other friends would have if I’d asked, too.

My queen sized purple fleece blanket for being so warm and comforting.

My warm fuzzy bathrobe, messy bun beanie, and fuzzy slippers for making sure I was never all that cold.

My cats for weathering things well.  They also learned that maybe they DO like being under covers now.

My LED Headlamp for providing hands-free light for hours and hours.

My mom for a bag of candles she gave me YEARS ago I always would see and want to throw out, but didn’t let myself just in case I needed them someday.  I burned many of them and they kept me warm that second night.

Also my mom for... calling... the police... on me?  I know she loves me.  Also that cop for having a sense of humor about it and telling me to call my mom more often lol.  ACAB and all, but I shoulda checked my texts.

My Switch and Mass Effect Comic Collection for being huge piles of entertainment when I could finally relax and read them.

My coworker Monica for suggesting I make something I could snack on easily in case we lost power.  That cranberry orange bread was perfect.

Me for never throwing away a blanket.  I should probably donate some, though.  Between the cats and covering windows and me, though.. I used... a lot of blankets.

4am Fettuccine Alfredo.

My municipal utilities for already saying our bills wouldn’t be drastically higher from this month.  Although, I take it back for being real bad at the “rolling” part of the “rolling” blackouts.

Also, one more thing... FUCK YOU TED CRUZ, YOU DESERTING PIECE OF SHIT.  BETO O’ROURKE DOES YOUR JOB BETTER THAN YOU WITHOUT THE TITLE, POWER, OR PAYCHECK.

[strangeinternetwasteland]

Shattered Reality - Chapter 3

A/N: I decided to add some text convos in this chapter. 

WARNINGS: Alcohol, Swearing, Violence, 

Word Count: 2.5k

   You awoke to the shrill scream on your alarm at 4 am. You really wish that you didn’t need to work for a living. The memories of yesterday felt so distant. You pulled yourself out of bed and got ready for your morning shift at the coffee shop.  You groaned inwardly to yourself. The heat of the sun, lack of hydration, and the two nights worth of alcohol all came down on you. You weren’t normally a drinker, but Kioko always had that effect, not just on you, but on everybody. You slowly made your way around your small apartment to gather your uniform. You brushed your hair and put it up in a messy bun, quickly coated your lashes, and headed out the door.

   Your walk to work was quiet as usual, but you felt as if someone were watching you the whole way to work. You tried not to panic, but couldn’t ever shake the feeling. As you walked into work, the feeling faded. You shift was over quickly, it had flown by. You still felt tired, but the group of people you worked with always made it better.

   The walk back home you didn’t have the same feelings from earlier. You decided it was probably just the early morning jitters. You walk into your apartment and spot a business card on the night stand. You pick it up and look it over. You smile when you realized it was the same card Gojo had given you yesterday.  You take the card and place it in your wallet for ‘safe keeping’. At least that is what you told yourself. You checked your phone for any text messages, and realized that it was too early for anyone to be awake.

   You rummaged through your fridge to eat something quick before starting your next job, which was babysitting. The family you babysat for was pretty well off, and always paid well. The kids weren’t brats which was amazing. You loved the twins, they were so adorable to you. The family needed you for the first night as they usually did every summer break. They always took their eldest daughter out to celebrate a job well done with school. You decided that you’d try to grab a quick nap before having to play with the rambunctious six year old twins.

   As you laid down, your mind wandered to the last conversation you had with Geto. You dreamt of blue eyes, abs, and flashes of an angry Geto. You awoke a few hours later feeling more tired than you did when you went to sleep. You glanced at your phone and saw a missed phone call from an unknown number that left a voicemail. ‘Probably a scam.’ You thought. There was a text from Kioko and another from a different unknown number.

   You smiled a bit. You decided that you’d definitely forgive Kioko, and maybe you should tease Gojo a bit, but that could be done after babysitting. You got ready for your next job and called a ride. Within an hour you had arrived. The twins came running with exuberant expressions on their faces “Y/N!” They chimed together. “We missed you! Mom and dad said that you’ll be here until after we go to bed!” Emi, one of the twins said.

   The twins were identical in their looks with black hair, and green eyes. Emi was sweet, kind, and loving. Her favorite color was pink, and she loved kitties. Eito was loud, rough, and standoffish. His favorite color was green, and he loved foxes. While the two were opposites in so many ways, you knew they loved each other.

   “Y/N. Here is the restaurant we’ll be at tonight. If you need us feel free to call my phone. We’ll be home later than usual today, since you know, Aki has finished her final year in high school.” The twin’s mother, Chika said to you.

   “Oh, it’s not a problem. I love these two, please enjoy your night with Aki. Tell her congratulations for me!” You replied. Chika nodded and walked out the door. You settled down on the couch as the twins were playing with their favorite toys. You watched them for a few minutes, before deciding on figuring out what to make them for dinner.

   As you looked through the fridge and freezer, you heard the kids playing roughly with each other. Knowing Eito started whatever tiff the two were having, you walked back to the living room and saw them fighting. You imagined what it would’ve been like growing up with a sibling. Would you fight? Would you get along? Would you be like Geto and Gojo?

   As you separated the two, your mind wandered back to the text from Gojo and you grew giddy. The next few hours were filled with cooking dinner for the twins, playing a few games of hide and seek, and bathing the twins before bed. You decided to text Gojo and Kioko back after you had put the two into bed.

~~

You felt lighter than air after your text exchange with Gojo. Sure you didn’t really want to admit to Kioko that you liked him, but how could you not when those beautiful eyes that you’d never be able to look away from. You could barely stop staring at the picture he’d sent. You felt the urge to text Gojo back. You really wanted to get to know him better.

Kioko was enraged to learn Gojo had lied to get Kioko’s number. She also knew that if he’d ask straight out, she would’ve said no. She went straight to texting Gojo.

Back at the house, you kept yourself busy from texting Gojo. You decided to clean up the mess the twins had made. You hand washed the dishes from dinner, dried and put them away. You even tried to watch a few episodes of your favorite show, but nothing could take your mind off of Gojo. Eventually, you fell asleep on the couch. After a few hours, you were awoken by Chika and Aik coming back from the night out.

   Chika was red-faced and laughing so loudly you thought she’d awaken the twins. Aki gave you a sympathetic look. Following them was Shun, Chika’s husband. You didn’t see much of him, since he was usually working.

   “Hey, Y/N. How was everything? Were the twins good for you?” Shun asked you.

   “They’re always great. Two of the sweetest kids.” You replied.

   “That is great to hear. Sorry about Chika, she got a little excited and celebrated a little too much. I didn’t realize we’d be home so late. Do you need a ride home? I could take you, or if you’d rather, you can just sleep in the guest room. It’s your call.” He replied looking a little embarrassed about his wife. You glanced at your phone. It was 2 am. You groaned internally you’d have to be awake for work in two hours, and you didn’t have your work uniform.

   “Oh, Mr. Lin it’s fine. I’ll just go. Don’t worry about a ride. I can just walk. It’s not that far.” You replied not wanting to impose on the family.

“Oh, okay, well. Here’s the money for watching the twins.” He handed you your cash. You gathered your things and walked out the door. You weren’t more than a block away when you decided that maybe if you had to walk home you could enjoy the walk a little bit.

~~

Within five minutes a black SUV stopped next to you.

   “Can I give you a ride home?” The driver said as he was rolling his window down. You honestly, weren’t sure who would be pulling up, but whoever it was it couldn’t have been good.

   “Uh. No I am okay.” You said sternly. You heard a familiar chuckle.

   “Okay, but it’s going to look really weird when I am driving slow next to you while you walk home.” Gojo said. You laughed at the image.

   “Oh! Sorry Gojo, I thought you were some creep.” You replied to him. His smile faded rather quickly.

   “Has there been a problem around here? Shun should be on top of it.” He told you. You just kind of stared at him.

   “What the hell are you even talking about? Are you sure you’re not drunk? Are you even allowed to be driving?” You asked.

   “Oh, nothing. Come on, don’t make me wait for you.” He told you.

   “Oh what happened to the ‘I’ll gladly wait for you’?” You shot at him.  He just laughed.

   “You’re something.” He gave you an easy smile. Your stomach fluttered at the sight of it. You walked to the passenger’s side and slid into the seat.

   “Thank you for the ride. I would’ve walked you know.” You said without knowing what else to say.

   “It is very late, and this city is dangerous. I couldn’t allow a beautiful woman like you, walk around by yourself. Even Kioko isn’t allowed.” He admitted to you. Your face grew warm at his compliment.  You tried to look everywhere but at him

   “So, Y/N, if you put your address in the GPS, I can take you home. Unless, you’d like to go out and get some breakfast?” Gojo offered you. The moment he mentioned food your stomach grumbled.   “I guess food it is. I’ll take you to this diner I go to all the time.” He continued and he started the car. The ride to the diner was quiet, but comforting.  A few blocks later, Gojo stopped the SUV outside the 24 hour diner. It was definitely a popular spot for all those who were out late in the evening drinking or teenagers who didn’t want to be home. You weren’t even sure if you’d be able to find a table at all.

   Walking in behind Gojo was a sight, not just for the obvious reasons, but when he walked into the diner, he was greeted by almost everyone. The man sure was well known. Even some of the younger patrons recognized him. Everyone seemed genuinely happy or excited to see him. He waved hello and smiled to everyone while heading to a booth in the corner.

   You felt a little bit jealous of the attention he was getting. When you both arrived at the booth you slid into the right hand side, and he in the left hand side.

   “Hello, Gojo, sweetie. Here’s your coffee, can I get you anything else?” The waitress asked him, ignoring you.

   “Thank you, ma’am. I’ll have my usual. As for my date here, Whatever her pretty heart chooses would be fine.” Gojo definetly was charming. The waitress gave you an annoyed look.

   “I will have some pancakes, please, and I’ll also have a coffee, with extra cream and sugar. Thank you.” You tried to give your best forced smile. The waitress just rolled her eyes and walked away.

   “I don’t think she likes me very much, but she seems to adore you.” You teased him. He smiled while taking a drink of his coffee, keeping and eye out around the diner. You noticed that he always seemed to be on guard. You saw him straighten up slightly and his eyes narrowed as he watched the person walk through the door.

   As you turned your head and you saw Geto walking toward you two.  He slid in the booth sitting right next to you.

   “Hello, Y/N. I didn’t see you at the club tonight. What are you doing here with Gojo?” You didn’t miss the jealousy in his voice or the way his eyes narrowed when he spoke Gojo’s name.

   “Oh, I was just walking home after babysitting, Gojo was in the neighborhood and saw me I guess.” You told him wearily. You couldn’t help but feel like there was something really off about the two of them tonight.

   “You were walking home alone at this time of night?” Geto interrogated you. You felt yourself shrinking. “How irresponsible of you! Do you know what could’ve happened if the wrong person saw you? Do you have no care for yourself? I can’t believe this.” He started chastising you, just as if you were Kioko. The waitress came and placed food down before you and Gojo.

   “I am sorry, but I don’t know if you noticed. I am not weak. I am not a little girl, and I can take care of myself. I am not afraid to fight if I have to, and I sure as hell do not need some annoying man looking over my shoulder telling me what to do!” You shouted at Geto poking him in his chest so he’d back up. You stormed out of the diner. ‘Who the fuck did Geto think he was acting like he was my father’ you thought.

   Geto and Gojo just looked at one another as you left. Gojo was not sure how to approach you, and Geto felt like a fool, and a little intrigued by your actions.

   “I better go apologize to her. We will discuss this later.” Geto told Gojo with a stern warning in his voice.

   “Y/N, wait!” Geto called from behind you. Honestly, you didn’t want to hear anything he said. You didn’t care not at all about an apology.

   “No!” You shouted back at him.

   “Y/N! Don’t move another muscle!” Geto shouted more angrily than before. You were so upset, and angry. All you could see was red. You were ready to explode, you weren’t sure if it was for Kioko or for yourself. You were starting to see who Geto really was as a person. All the interactions you had with him, he had all his walls up. He made sure he got his way no matter what. He had caught up to where you were standing. He grabbed your wrist and spun you around.

   “You don’t get to walk away from me.” He hissed, the anger dripping from his voice. His face scrunched up with agony, his demeanor changed completely. You were absolutely terrified. All color drained from your face. He took his other hand and wrapped it around your throat, choking you. You tried clawing at his arms to let you free. You tried kicking and hitting him anyway you could. ‘Why isn't anyone doing anything? Why didn’t anyone care?’ You thought. You felt your world fading. Out of your darkening eyes, you saw a blur running toward you. The last thing you heard before blacking out was the smack of skin against bone.

~~

   “What the FUCK?!?” Geto seethed at the person who punched him. He didn’t think twice and swung back in the direction of the punch.

   “WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?” Geto continued to yell.

   “The only person who can stop you in this rage.” Gojo said in the coldest, most calm voice Geto had ever heard. Chills ran down Geto’s spine. Geto had only heard Gojo speak in this manner one other time, and then it was paired with a death glare.

   “Now, I am taking Y/N somewhere you can’t lay a hand on her. If you so much as look at her wrong, I will not hesitate to slit your throat while you’re sleeping. Are we clear?” Gojo stated with his calm and even tone. Gojo lifted you up and gingerly placed you in the back seat, trying to make you as comfortable as possible. He peeled out of the parking lot not looking back at his ‘Best Friend’.

 <<Previous                                                                                 Next>>

[deadenginescribbywibs]

Reunion - Prologue

After the battle there was an impromptu information session held in a damp and chilly bunker half a mile up from the ruined compound. Night was already closing in, as were reporters and the few family and friends tied to the heroes who weren’t present at the battle. May Parker, Happy Hogan, Cassie Lang, Clint Barton's wife and kids. 

“We need to be prepared,” Captain America said, still beaten and bruised but no longer sporting dirt in his teeth, “just in case anything else happens- In case anyone comes from another time.” 

And so the remaining heroes sat in October weather in the concrete room, some falling asleep- from the cold or their injuries, who could say. He talked about what he could. The battle of Wakanda five years prior, chopping off Thanos’ head, Natasha, Tony. When he couldn’t choke back the tears, Sam took over, and when Sam couldn’t continue, it was Rhodey. Towards the end it was Rocket who carried the meeting, and in the back, Peter Parker kept his eyes firmly on the ground. Nearest to the door and too cold from the draft of impending winter wind, he listened to the drone of strained, sometimes tearful voices. When it was over, wrapped in a damp blanket, Peter wondered if this is what it meant to be an Avenger. 

---

Peter always imagined the Avengers having a lot of energy, at least that was his impression from Germany. What he saw now wasn’t a group of unlikely heroes rising to meet challenges head on. They were just ghosts, like him, and he felt he could fade away at any moment. 

His phone rang, probably Ned or May. He had nothing to say, so he didn’t pick up. 

--

The boy sat in the hall all alone. At least it was warm, a far cry better from the two freezing nights sleeping on cots outside the upstate Avengers facility. Peter rolled his shoulders in their joints and stretched his neck. His head was still pounding, the last reminder of the physical toll of Thanos. Even safe inside, Peter’s mind was still on the battlefield, on Titan, and Tony’s face when he started to dust away, the desperate grip trying to keep him alive.

Peter started at the sturdy hand landing on his shoulder. 

“Hey.” Steve Rogers stood at his side, blue eyes fixed on the sign on the far wall. MORGUE. “Thanks.” 

Peter shrugged his shoulders and averted his eyes. “For what?” He croaked.

“For staying with him. Tony never liked to be alone…” Tears stung at Peter’s already red rimmed eyes but he held them in, body tense. After a moment's hesitation Steve sat down in the other dingy little mint green chair and crossed his arms. The silence stretched on until it was comfortable. 

Eventually Peter fell asleep, head resting on Captain America’s shoulder.

--

Steve was just trying to stay awake. 

“What’s up, punk?” Bucky strolled up the hall in his green sweats and grey long sleeve shirt, metal hand tucked into a pocket. 

Steve gestured at the teen asleep on the floor a few feet away. “Babysitting.” 

Bucky’s eyes trailed over the small figure huddled under the wool blanket pressed up against the wall, a hospital gown balled up under his head. “Jesus, we can’t get the kid a bed?”

Steve shook his head. “He wouldn’t leave if he could.” He nodded to the ‘Morgue’ sign. 

“Starks?”

“Sort of.” 

--

By the third day they were able to disperse somewhat. It took time to get communication and transportation back online through SHIELD, and to get the unhoused heroes into some kind of temporary lodging while waiting for spaceships and quinjets to be repaired. A side effect of many of the heroes being stranded on Earth and more specifically in New York, however, was that they ended up at the lakehouse of one recently widowed Pepper Potts. For having just watched her husband die and the near destruction of the universe, she was managing as well as could be expected. 

Peter was sharing a spare room with Thor and Rocket and Peter Quill, and although he hadn’t been alone in a week- or a week and five years, depending how you looked at it, the sounds of breathing in the dark room were a comfort compared to the clinical silence of the medical wing hall. 

At 4:40am his stomach rumbled. Peter groaned. “No.” He turned over under his covers, but the hunger wouldn’t let up. After days without food running on a super metabolism, his will finally broke at 5:13am and Peter slunk out of the bedroom tiptoeing over beings big and small alike. 

The kitchen was dimly lit. Outside, a small lake glimmered under a moon hanging low like ripe fruit, illuminating the trinkets and cups and pictures in the modest but modern kitchen, not the place he pictured Tony retiring into but nice nonetheless. It was homey. 

He didn’t have an appetite per se, or at least the nausea was still battling against his will to eat, but Peter eventually settled on a box of crackers in a cupboard. He plunged a hand into the crinkling plastic liner and stuffed a handful of saltines into his mouth greedily, and suddenly parched, Peter reached for a cup for water. Next to the haphazardly placed drinking glasses were a row of pictures, the first, Howard Stark he recognized from history books, and the next he wasn’t sure, but the last in the line made Peter’s heart skip a beat. Tony and Peter posed for a photo for his Stark Internship, peace signs poised and smiling giddily. He’d thought it was the best day of his life. He must have been standing staring at the picture for a long time, because by the time Peter broke out of his melancholy, the stars had faded out of sight in the early morning sky. 

There was a faint shuffling to his side. Peter turned to see Pepper Potts in her bathrobe, not a trace of makeup on her face, a tissue in her hand. She’d been crying all right. 

“Oh.” She said faintly seeing Peter standing at the counter, the photo lying in front of him. “I didn’t see you Peter. Sorry, I just woke up feeling-’ Pepper gestured at the room in general as if to say ‘I just watched my husband die horrifically and now our retirement home is filled with sad heroes and I don’t know what to do.” But Peter didn’t say anything. He presented her with the box of crackers. “Still not talking much, hey?” She sniffled and ran a hand through Peter’s hair before reaching into the box of crackers. “Me too.”

Pepper bustled around the room preparing coffee. When she placed a mug next to him she noticed the picture and picked it up silently. She traced her fingers over the frame. “You know, he did it for you, Pete. He loved you.” Peter could have sprinted away at lightning speed, a rush of guilt balling up in his chest and stomach telling him to escape, but he forced himself to stand very still. Pepper kissed the top of his head and turned back to her coffee, smiling still. “He can rest now.” 

--

So there was some crying in the shower. One might call it hysterical, but Peter thought he did okay considering. If he’d gotten in before taking off his pyjamas, well. No one was around to see.

--

“Move over.” A voice grumbled over him. Peter was back in bed again that morning of the third day, and judging by the light slanting through the windows, it was probably still early. Thor stood over him looking quite gruff. “I can’t sleep on the floor anymore.” He said it politely enough, so Peter scooted over until he was laying practically at the edge of the double bed. Thor collapsed onto the other side and it hardly took a moment for him to fall fast asleep. 

Not wanting to consider why they had given him the bed in the first place- “He slept on the floor outside the morgue. If Tony could have seen-” Peter rolled over to check his phone. 39 Text Messages, 9 Voicemails. Peter groaned, he scrolled through the latest messages from May. 

May (6:43am)

Call me when you can. 

May (6:48am)

And text me that you’re okay. 

May (6:49am)

I larb you.

The familiar guilt returned and with it, the nausea. Peter thought he might throw up if he had to talk on the phone. He wanted to see May more than anything, more than seeing Tony again, more than eating a hot poptart right out of the toaster, but he couldn’t. It would break her heart, and with the sad eyes he was already getting from the Avengers collectively, Peter couldn’t do that to anyone else. He hastily replied. Larb u 2.

When Thor rolled over a moment later Peter found himself trapped under a huge outstretched arm. Being too tired to lift it- Thor must weigh 800 pounds, it was so heavy- he resigned himself to being crushed. With just bird calls and Thor’s faint snoring and Rocket and Quills quiet breathing to be heard in the room, Peter fell back asleep. 

--

That afternoon the Avengers seemed to be doing better. Rocket banged around in his spaceship now housed in the backyard with Nebula’s help. Quill was checking out Bucky’s motorcycle, though the assassin still seemed very uncomfortable at the lake house in general. Steve Rogers came and went on his bike. Peter thought he was taking comfort in doing damage control, if only to spare Pepper from doing it. She was taking a nap on the couch. 

The house was mostly quiet and so Peter was taking a moment of refuge to sit on the back porch with a cup of tea and his wool blanket. He didn’t know where it had come from, honestly, and it was outright filthy and dingy from getting dragged around the battlefield and the SHIELD compound for days. He was just drifting into space when the screen door swung open and a young brown haired teen stepped out. Peter recognized him as Harley Bennet, though they’d only met a couple times before the Snap and a couple times over video since the battle. 

“Peter.” He said, and Peter stood up shakily in his blanket. Harley extended a hand but then shook himself. “What am I doing-” and he pulled the younger boy in for a hug. When they pulled back Peter gave him a weak smile. “How’s it going here?” 

The young Avenger just shrugged his shoulders. A moment later a bounding blur of dark brown hair and blue pyjamas burst through the door. “Harley!” 

“Morguna! In the flesh!” He called, sweeping her into a spinning hug. “What’s up, lil sis?”

“I’m sad.” She said suddenly pouting. Peter grimaced. To his surprise Harley knelt down by her side. “Me too. But you know what Tony said about being sad?”

“What?” She asked innocently.

“It’s nothing blowing stuff up can’t fix.” He whispered. 

And so that’s how Peter, Morgan and Harley found themselves in the barn that afternoon, a frightening weapon tucked under Harley’s arms. The former two were still in their pyjamas, and all three wore safety goggles although Morgan’s were on askew. Peter reached over to adjust them and gave her a pat on the head, she smiled at him. 

“Nobody tell Pepper about this.” Harley said with wide eyes. 

“Don’t chicken out.” Morgan whined and received a rakish grin in return. 

“I won’t. I’m not. Listen. Tony talked about-” He made a funny gesture, “alien invasions sometimes when I was a kid, and it got me thinking, what would I do if they came? So I made this gun.”

Peter eyed the glowing gun suspiciously. The thought that this was a Very Bad Idea was starting to sprout in his mind. “I mean, it’s a potato gun, okay? It’s not like Tony was going to give me real ammo.”

“Com’n!” Morgan cried, and Harley grinned again. 

“Alright okay.” Harley shouldered the gun over the very poor barricade they made from a tipped over wheelbarrow and a barrel, pointing it at a bale of hay for Gerald’s lunch. “Check it out!” He said, and yanked on a lever which started a worrying, high pitched buzz. It cranked a couple times and sputtered. “Oh, come on.” Harley said, giving it a bat with his palm. Suddenly the gun fired up, and Peter just reached out to grab it just in time to point it at the target when it erupted, launching several potatoes at criminal velocities. “Ah!” They cried. The potatoes hurled through the bales, strands of hay cascaded everywhere, the potatoes made a hulking splutter sound on the other side as they crashed through the wood plank walls, splintered wood shot out the other side and someone cried “Oh my fucking god. Are you serious?!”

It was Rocket. Harley, Peter and Morguna looked at each other, at the erupted hay bale, at the light streaming through the hole in the wall, and at the potato gun. “Oh my god!” Peter whispered loudly. 

“Whoever that was, you are about to be dead.” Rocket said from outside. Peter grabbed the gun, hurled it under the nearest vehicle, grabbed Morgan and Harley and launched all three of them into the hay loft. 

Rockets shadow appeared before he did and he looked menacingly at the overturned wheelbarrow and scattered hay as he came around the corner. “Seriously? Whoever that was, come out now so I can shoot you in the face.” 

Morgan giggled, Harley and Peter covered her mouth, perfectly still in the scratchy hay. “Shh!” There was a strand poking Morgan right in the face, and she wrinkled her nose again as it itched. Nebula came around the corner looking just as unimpressed. She glanced over the scene and then at Rocket. “Children’s games.” She said.

“I got hit in the ass with a fucking potato.” The racoon complained. 

“Get over it.” She said walking away. Rocket glared into the dingh of the room. Morgan’s nose crinkled again and she shivered, and just as Rocket turned away, she let out a sneeze. He pinned the three of them with a look, probably marking a small oddly shaped mound of hay in the loft. The three children stayed very still and quiet for a second. Morgan looked at both Peter and Harley with huge brown orbs. After a moment Rocket rolled his eyes and looked off in the distance, probably at Nebula. “Well I can’t go and shoot Tony Stark’s kids in the face, can I? Where’s Quill?”

As soon as he rounded the corner, Morgan started giggling and squirming to get out of the hay causing it to slide out from under their feet until they all tumbled down onto the ground, Harley and Morgan giggling and tittering the whole time. They looked at Peter and started laughing anew. He looked down, his shirt was full of hay like an overstuffed scarecrow. 

“How far along are you?” Harley snickered. Peter huffed a laugh too. 

--

Tony’s ashes arrived that night. Pepper kept it quiet. She tucked the red silk bag into an old arc reactor Peter had never seen and placed it carefully into her dresser drawer. Peter watched from her bed. It was one of the only quiet spaces in the house around dinner. A bit of sensory overload and fatigue made him silent and sullen that afternoon and as soon as she caught wind she’d corralled Peter into bed with a cup of tea. They kept silent company, and when she was done, she sat in the occasional chair in the corner brushing out her hair while they watched TV. Eventually she started in on her cuticles, then disappeared to retrieve laundry from the dryer. 

“May is coming up for the funeral.” She told Peter handing him a freshly laundered hoodie. He pulled it on, it said MIT. Peter felt like he should tear it off immediately. “She’ll be here in the morning. Your apartment is still occupied,” she frowned, “I think you’ll have to stay a little longer.”

“Thanks.” Was all he said, but he accepted a bundle of socks passed to him.

“Are you sleeping okay? I heard Thor is sharing the bed with you.”

“Yeah.” Peter huffed a little. “It’s not so bad. He’s dead asleep most of the time.”

Pepper smiled knowingly and cocked her brows. “At least it’s not Bruce.”

--

Bruce was still in the hospital and for that Peter was grateful. The sight of Bruce’s burnt arm was enough to send the teen into a panic attack. 

Overall, Peter wasn’t so hard done by. After all, there were heroes strewn literally all over the property. Drax, Mantis and Groot slept in closets and hallways, Carol Danvers and Nebula camped in the backyard. Bucky Barnes and Captain America were at an abandoned motel not far up the road, and Sam and Rhodey took over the dining room at night. Harley slept on the couch, and Morgan in her own room was undisturbed. Rocket slept in a bed of clothes in a dresser drawer in Peter’s room, and Quill slept on a burnt mattress on the floor that had been pulled out of the Milano. Valkyrie had returned temporarily to Asgard with the help of Thor wielding Stormbreaker, but Thor stayed behind for, well… Peter had to imagine it was emotional comfort. He was the only other Avenger as pathetic as Peter, the boy thought, watching the huge hulking form curled up on the couch, cups of yoghurt strewn about the coffee table. Thor had been catapulting between emotions since the battle, but mostly he was just tired. 

“Can I ask you something?” Peter said about an hour after sitting in the otherwise quiet living room. Thor shrugged, now in one of his morose moods. “How old are you?” 

“Fifteen hundred, give or take. The years aren’t as important when you are as old as Asgardians are.” 

Peter sat in thought for a while. The house was starting to show signs of life, laughter could be heard outside and in the halls sometimes, he even thought Pepper sounded alright talking to Happy on the phone that day. “Do you do birthdays?”

Thor shrugged. “Sometimes. Every fifty years or so. We had one at my inauguration, although looking back, maybe it wasn’t the right moment to celebrate, as it set my brother on a path of destruction that eventually led to Thanos killing him.” He supined. His nose was stuffed up. 

“Oh.” The boy sat a moment longer sensing the sadness wash over the man, but even if he wanted to join Thor’s wallowing, Peter was starting to feel the pricklings of relief swell up under the surface tension of his grief. “We should have a birthday. Tonight. To celebrate.”

“...To celebrate?”

“To celebrate.” It didn’t sound all that convincing to Peter either, but anything was better than this. 

--

They had a birthday. It was cramped. Like, really cramped. The seventeen people in the vicinity of the house were stuffed into the little kitchen, Morgan sat on Thor’s lap. The god of thunder was dressed in a little pink frilly apron. Harley was sticking a ridiculous number of sparklers on the cake in the other room with the help of Rocket and Drax. Bucky and Nebula stood stolidly in the back hall, Carol Danvers stood in the back door. Pepper sat next to Thor, and Quill and Mantis were eating icing off of a spoon. Sam stood in a narrow broom cupboard holding his beer to his chest. Steve Rogers stood behind Thor, a beacon of comfort and resolution in the sea of calamity. Groot sat on another stool playing his video game, and Rhodey sat by Peter on the other side, very much on board with a drink in his hand. “This is great.” He said. “Nice one Parker.”

“Thanks.” Peter croaked. He felt more awake than he had in days. Morgan braided Thor’s beard while they waited, and when the cake came out, they sang Happy Birthday haphazardly while Harley carried the cake. The sparklers burst into a ball of flames as soon as the cake was set on the table. Thor scrunched up his face, “Fiend!” and shot the cake with lightning, strawberry icing exploded in every direction. Pepper laughed first, then Rocket and Drax laughed, Mantis and Quill laughed and Harley, Morgan and Thor laughed, and soon everyone was laughing, and Peter was laughing too. 

--

“That was a good call.” Sam said idling up to him that evening. Peter found solace on the back porch. The lake was beautiful to look at in the night. “Morale was running a little low.”

Peter’s mouth quirked up into a smile. “Thor’s morale was low. I dunno about everyone else.”

“Everyone else too. You just get better at hiding it when you get older.” He tucked his chin. “I know we just celebrated his like thousandth birthday-”

“Fifteen hundred and something-” Peter corrected.

“-But Thor’s not that much older than you are. Maybe a bit. He’s younger than Steve.” Sam said definitively. 

“Well everyone’s younger than Steve.” 

“Good point.”

--

This time when Peter went to the snack cupboard in the middle of the night, Nebula and Carol were in the kitchen sitting in relative silence, and Rhodey was reading in the other room.

“Hey.” He waved. Nebula and Carol nodded. 

“Is Thor snoring again? I can go punch him.” Carol joked. Peter smiled bashfully.

“It’s all right. I don’t mind.”

“It’s Quill that’s worse.” Nebula supplied. That was probably the first time she’d ever spoken to him, and he nodded guiltily. 

“He’s been mumbling in his sleep.”

“About what?”

“Kevin Bacon. He, uh…”

“He was in the movie footloose.” Carol said. Nebula rolled her eyes. 

“Of course.” 

“Well, I guess if Peter’s up that means it’s bed time.” Carol stood up groggily. “Nice sitting in silence with you.” She chirped to her companion. Nebula nodded. Carol ruffled his hair on the way out.

What remained of the birthday cake sat on the counter so Peter grabbed a fork and took a huge mound. Nebula was looking past him, and when he turned around to follow her line of sight, he saw the picture again, the one of him and Tony. 

“You were Stark’s ward.” She stated. Peter didn’t immediately reply, eyes shifting sideways out the far window. “He was the first person to ever be kind to me without expecting anything in return.” She caressed the exposed panel of electronics running from her forehead to her crown. “After the battle on Titan he fixed my head using metal from his own armor. And... he taught me how to play paper football.” 

“That’s just how he was.” He mumbled around a mouthful of cake. In the other room, Rhodey was smiling into his book, eavesdropping. He had a new prosthetic exo-support pulled from a backup supply in Tony’s garage. 

Still looking at the photo, she continued. “Thanos was my father, and people will shudder at the memory of him for eternity. But he's not the one people will ask about.” 

Ears hot, Peter swallowed around the lump ever present in his throat, but there were no tears now. If anything, he was relieved. He shoved another forkful of cake into his mouth and stood up, striding away from the table. From the other room Rhodey piped up. “Oh my god. Was that the most words you’ve ever said?” Nebula raised her middle finger. “It gets worse. Who taught you that?” 

She smirked. “You can blame Barton.” Rhodey rolled his eyes. 

“Of course. That guy is a douchebag.” It sounded bad, but Rhodey said it warmly and smiled as he returned to his book. Peter swung back around with the platter of cake and set it down in front of Nebula. 

“You’re pretty cool.” Then he asked hopefully. “Can I fix your headpiece too?”

--

They used Tony’s battle armor, the one he’d been wearing when he died. It was piled up in the garage, or at least what could be salvaged. Burnt, cracked, bent and shredded, the sight of it served a visceral reminder of the battle. Until now, no one dared go near it. 

It took time for Peter to build up the nerve to touch it, and before he could, Nebula pried a piece off the left arm. She might as well have pried his heart from his chest, but Peter quelled his nerve and set to work, pilfering tools from Tony’s lab like Pepper said he could. By the time the other Avengers rolled around, Nebula had a new head plate,  striking gold cut from the last Iron Man ever made. Over the brow it was inscribed, “MK2.”

--

May arrived bright and early that morning and the first thing she did was hug Peter, then pulled back, then hugged him again. “Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my-”

“May. It’s alright. I’m fine, see?” Peter said, holding out his arms. 

May Parker was not one to be fooled, however, and scooped the boy into her arms again. “My baby boy. All grown up and saving the universe.” She swept a tear from her eye and then turned to Pepper, sweeping her up as well. Pepper might have needed it, she sighed deeply. 

“Are you holding up okay?”

“As well as expected.” Pepper sniffled pulling away. “It’ll be nice to have another normal person around the house. There are too many manful tears happening here.” 

May was introduced to Harley and Morgan, then to the rest of the Avengers. The lot of them and others returning from afar were changing into funeral clothes. Soon the funeral would be over, and that would be it. The Avengers would dissemble, and Peter would be on his own. 

--

During the funeral he held back his tears. It was hardly his first time burying a loved one. He stayed quiet and still, and when it was over, he sat on the dock with Morgan while the adults reminisced about Tony, and about Natasha. “I miss daddy.” Came her little voice from his side. 

Peter nodded mutely, swallowing his sadness. The wind over the lake blew their hair back, and Peter rubbed little circles on her back as she sniffled. “Don’t you miss him?” She asked. He nodded again around the lump in his throat. When he couldn’t hold back his tears he wiped his cheeks with the sleeve of his suit. “Your dad was my hero.” Morgan rested her head against him. 

“He was your dad too.” 

He couldn’t respond to that, he didn’t know how to explain the complexities of their brief relationship to his mentor’s actual blood relative, so he just stayed silent. Maybe in a few years, Morgan would understand that she was Tony’s only child, not him. But then Peter thought back to Pepper Potts in the kitchen at 5am making them a pot of coffee in the dark, and Peter wasn’t so sure. 

“He did it for you, Pete. He loved you.” 

--

Shuri took Peter for ice-cream at the diner nearby. They walked in their funeral clothes despite the rain and sleet that started that afternoon, and the ice-cream compounded the cold, but it was fun. “And so I asked them-” She recounted, “why couldn't they unlock my phone. They said it’s company policy. So I took it apart right then and there and manually unbricked it. And guess what?” She laughed, she had ice-cream on her lip and Peter was suddenly struck by how attractive she was.

“What?” He gushed back. 

“They banned me from the store.” 

Peter laughed while she lamented about getting tossed from a Tek-i-Mobile. By the time they arrived back at the house, covered in freezing mud and rosy cheeked from the wind, he was feeling almost normal. 

--

That night- the last they would spend all together, there was a Mario Kart tournament. Even Pepper clad in pin striped pyjamas joined in the cajoling, Morgan sat in her lap. Shuri, Peter and Harley had the obvious edge, but Rocket was a close competitor. Bets went around. Money changed hands. Then Quill and Thor got into an argument and it ended in a milk gauntlet challenge, at which point Pepper banished them from the house and they threw up milk in the backyard. 

“I’m sorry about this.” Peter told Pepper seriously. Somehow, this was his fault. She heaved a little sigh and smiled. 

“Believe me, if you’d spent much time with them before, you’d know to expect this.” She paused for a moment and her nose wrinkled as she smiled, just like Morgan. “Tony would have loved this.” And she snapped a picture on her phone. 

At that moment, Peter knew he would give anything to have Tony back. What he didn't know was that soon, he would.

[mtherhino]

One Side, Two lives

Chapter Four

I don’t mean to be rude, but please get out of my room.

First Previos Next

Warning: a few strange and dark facts about sea creatures, mention of slight gore, swearing, this is Remus so what do you expect

Today had been a lot for Logan. Remus was, well Remus, what did the others expect when he showed up? Still, being hit in the head with throwing stars hadn’t been very fun. They didn’t hurt much, but he had still felt the impact of them so he was a bit perturbed.

He had checked up on Roman after the video since he was the only one that could be effected by the Dukes antics when they were outside of the mindscape. Oddly enough he had been completely fine, he acted as if he just had woken up from a nap. He was a tiny bit off, but who wouldn’t be after getting hit in the head with a large blunt object. Logan shook his head, now was not the time to focus think about the smaller details of today’s events, he had work to do, being logic was an exhausting job, but one he took great pride in.

He sat down at his desk, it was an odd mixture between chaos and organization that worked for Logan, the papers where in messy piles everywhere and multiple pens where trown across the table, yet the Logical side knew exactly where everything was and if anyone moved just one thing, he became furious. Just as he grabbed a paper from one of the many stakes, he heard a small pop some from behind him.

He sighed, guess I’m not getting any work done today he thought to himself. He was not at all surprised to see the Duke standing in his rooms, his signature evil grin plastered on his face.

“Hello Remus. I don’t mean to be rude, but please get out of my room. I have work to do.” He said to the creative side. He could handle the others pretty well, but the duke was a wild card, impossible to predict, and that just didn’t sit well with Logan.

“No can do teach, I wasn’t able to get to you in the video so now I have to stay until I annoy you a proper amount.” He said while summoning a mace to lean on like it was a cane. Logan frowned that he was not using the object for its intended purposes.

“I have to file up all that Thomas learned today so that he doesn’t forget it, so I don’t exactly have time to let you annoy me.” Logan stated, turning back to his work. He started writing but the ink continuously changed color and he knew exactly who was to blame. When he turned around, oddly enough, he didn’t see Remus, his face turning into one of confusing.

“Up he nerdy wolverine!” Shouted a voice, startling Logan greatly. He looked up and saw Remus just laying on the ceiling.

“…. How in the world are you doing that ?” Logan asked, truly baffled by this point. Remus just looked at him confused.

“You guys can’t so this?” Logan shook his head and Remus looked a little surprised by this,. He and Roman used to run around on the ceiling a lot when they where little because there was more room up there.

Logan thought about that for a minute, since he was grounded in fact he has to obey the laws of physics even in the mindscape but he supposed the opposite must be true for the sides that were in charge of fantasy and imagination.

Remus just shrugged at the odd fact that the other couldn’t do this and just let himself fall onto the ground, jumping up right after as if he didn’t just reverse gravity on himself.  Logan pointed at his pen and asked him to turn it back to normal. Remus snapped his fingers and said it was ok now, and it was indeed one color, but when Logan started writing about what they had learned, the ink was a bright sparkly pink. He sighed heavily, but decided it was better than nothing.

Remus devised that this was the perfect moment to lean on Logan and make him mess up his writing.

“So what did you think of my song nerd? Did it get stuck in your head like I planned?” He asked, and if Logan was being honest, it had. The song was annoyingly catchy and was unfortunately on loop in his head.

“Perhaps” he said. Logan really did try to work, but it was extremely difficult when someone was talking about a continues train of morbid fact in his ear. What made it worse was that the facts were interesting! And part of him did want to listen, gaining knowledge was always beneficial. However, if he didn’t do this project no one would. Eventually Remus went quiet and git off him, Logan sighed in relief, thinking that the duke had finally grown bored with trying to annoy him and went back to his room.

He was proven wrong when he heard something very loudly fall near his closet. That thing turned out to be his door, Remus standing next to it was a smile painted on his face. Logan turned to him fully, his face now in a deep frown. Great, now I’m going to have to ask roman to help me make a new door, he’s probably going to want to go all out and make it look like something from the dark ages.

“Was there a purpose to destroying my closet door?” He asked Remus.

“There is no rhyme or reason for what I do, I just do.” He responded making Logan roll his eyes, he should have expected that kind of answer.

“Though honestly you weren’t responding and being boring so I thought that I might look around your room a bit!” The green clad side said. Logan tried to ignore it, I don’t have anything really interesting to anyone else in my room anyways so it should be fine, he thought.

           Once more, he was proven wrong, to outstanding measures. Remus let out a large gasp and what Logan could only assume was a squeal. The logical side turned to his closest, his patients nearly gone at this point. But, figuratively speaking, Logan threw all logic to the wind when he saw Remus come out with the biggest grin holding his unicorn onesie! He leapt to his feat immediately, his face a bit pink from embarrassment.

“Give that back!” He said as he lunged for the onesie, only to have Remus smoothly dodge his attack smirking at him,

“I didn’t know you were into unicorns nerd! Guess you have more in common with Roman than I thought!” He said, still dodging Logan who was acting as if he was a cat trying to catch it’s favorite toy. “Shut up and give me back my belonging!”lLogan said, his face growing more pink as Remus kept talking.

           Remus finally stopped but continued to hold the onesie in a small bundle over his head, he and Roman were both ever so slightly taller than Logan, who was second tallest with the twins tide for first, and Remus was taking full advantage of this fact in this moment.

“Alright nerd, I’ll give you back your pjs on one condition.”

Not thinking about how badly this could go, Logan responded “yes fine, just stop being so childish!” He shouted. At this Remus grinned and gave the item back to the smaller side. Logan clutched it too his chest and backed up so that Remus couldn’t just steal it right back, it seemed like the kind of loophole that he would find.

Remus stepped back as well, putting up his hands in a sign of surrender.

“You still have to fulfill your side of the deal poindexter, otherwise I’ll come back and dump a bucket of guts on you when your sleeping and ruin you sircurdium rhythm shit or whatever it is.”

“First of all it’s circadian rhythm, and I am a man of my words, so what are your ridiculous demands?” Logan questioned. Remus smiled meschizioucsly, Logan was starting to think that he had hundreds of different kinds of smiles for whatever situation he was in.

“Simple. You have to wear your onesie and we have a movie marathon.” Remus said with a small shrug.

           For a second the logical side’s mind completely short circuited and all he could do was stair at Remus.

“What?” He finally said.

“You heard me glasses, I gave you back you item so now you have to fulfill the favor!” The creative side said as if had won a battle against an army and didn’t break a sweat. Logan took a minute to consider this. Yes, the entire idea was rather embarrassing, but it could be a lot worse, there had to be something more to this that he just couldn’t quiet see.

“What’s the catch?” He asked, he was pretty sure he was close to being on Sherlock’s level of intelligence, so he figured that only a fool would except such an offer without asking a few questions.

“No catch, well, except for the fact that you have to let me pick a few of the things that we watch, so there will be some blood and guts somewhere.” The taller said. “I’ll be back in five minutes, by then you better have a show picked out or I’m going to stab your eyes out. See yah!” He waved and popped away. Logan was still nervous, but he still put on his onesie and opened up his laptop, heading over to YouTube so that he could look up something to watch.

           Seconds later, Remus reappeared, but Logan was a bit surprised at what he was wearing. Remus, while away, had dawned a green onesie that had tentacles patterns on the arms and legs with four extra small tentacles coming out of the back.

“Like what you see calculated watch?” Remus said in a flirty tone. Logan shook his head out of his confusion and shrugged, saying that he was just surprised that Remus even owned a onesie.

“Of course I own one, me and…Dee have our own movie marathons just like the rest of you.” Logan noted the hesitance in Remus’s tone when he was explaining himself, but he decided not to comment about it at the moment.

“Wait, Deceit owns a onesie?” He asked instead. Remus shrugged and jumped onto Logan’s bed, much to the owners displeasure.

“More or less, he kinda just has this huge yellow snake sleeping bag that he lays in, he takes up so much room on the couch.” Remus said as he stretched and quiet purposefully laid practically on top of Logan.”

“Yes, clearly he is the one that has no consideration for someone else’s space.” Logan said back.

“Oooo~ was that a bit of sass I just heard? Your not as boring as I though you were teach” remus said, smiling a bit that he was able to not just once, but twice was able to get Logan to show some emotion other than anger and his, what Remus liked to call ‘his dumb-dumb monotone face’.

           Logan pushed Remus off of him, “Guess theres a lot you don’t know about me” he said. Remus seemed to think about that for a minute, wondering how well he did know the other light sides besides his brother, he eventually just shrugged it off. Those thoughts could wait for another day.

“So what are we watching? Let me guess, some kind of light and fluffy movie, you light sides are rather predictable you know that?” Remus said. He raised an eyebrow as Logan shook his head and press play on the YouTube video.

“The others might prefer that stuff, but I like things that have a bit of educational information in what I’m watching, so I found a video that described the creatures that live at the bottom of the ocean.” Logan started the video and the narrator started talking about how the depths of the oceans are so dark that the creatures themselves glow to both attract prey and avoid being a meal for predators. Remus had starry eyes as he listened closely to all the weird and creepy facts about the undersea animals, especially liking the fact that angler fish will bite their mate and feed off of their nutrients. After the video Remus turned to Logan.

“That was so cool! Like the fact that some animals sacrifice a piece of their body and so that they can run away! Oh! And those glowing stare fish! Did you know they can be cut in half and still regrow perfectly! So cool! Hey Lo what’s your favorite animal from the video ? Mine was to be blah blah blah” The logical side had stoped listening at this point, not because he was uninterested, but because he was, surprised. Logan was rather taken aback by Remus’s reaction to the video if he was being honest, people often found these kinds of facts to be far too creepy to be enjoyable so it was kinda amazing to find someone as fascinated by what lurks at the depths of the sea as he was.

“Well I’m glad you likes the video Remus, not many like exploring the idea of the unknown. If I remember right, per our agreement its your turn to pick what we watch.” Logan said while sliding the computer over to Remus.

“Oki doky! Hmmm, what about a video on space? There is some creepy stuff out there and I’m just waiting for the government to admit that aliens are real.” Remus said, Logan having conflicting emotions about the fact that Remus wanted to watch an informational video about space but he didn’t want Remus to look up one that was factually incorrect for the sake of someone saying that there was a an alien in the frame or something.

“Although I have no problem with a space video, do you honestly think someone would have caught an alien or their ufo and posted it on YouTube?” Logan said, raising an eyebrow for emphasis.

“Course not teach, but its still fun to think of the what ifs,” Remus pointed out, “like if their was a species that lived in this area what the hell would they look like and what weird evolutions happened that they can now survive there.” The taller side said.

“That is, rather true I suppose. It would be fun to think about what creatures could exist in these places and what would aloud them to do so.” Logan said, placing a hand under his chins in consideration. “I didn’t think you would be so interested in outer space Remus.”

“Guess there’s a lot you don’t know about me”  Remus said, quoting Logan form earlier making the other roll his eyes again.

           The next video started playing and Logan hardly payed attention to the narrator in this one talking about how “there could very well be aliens on mars and we just don’t know it yet” and all that nonsense, instead focusing on the informational subtitles and the picture of the planet it self. The screen then changed to a picture of the galaxy and Logan took time to admire every detail. He often found it sad that people oh so rarely payed attention to the night sky and the stars. People always immersed themselves in fantasy but never just took a bit of time to look out their window and admire what the real world had to offer.

“Pretty cool video huh nerd.” That startled ed Logan out of his thoughts.

“What?”

“The video, it ended a minute ago.”

“Oh, sorry, I guess I got lost in thought.” Logan said. He had a tendency to do that. It wasn’t uncommon for him to just lay in bed and think, not doing anything else but let his mind wander.

“Hmm, ok. But please tell me you payed attention to at least some of the video, otherwise I can’t compare any of my alien theories with you.” Remus pouted.

“In all truthfulness I didn’t pay a lot of attention to the alien ideas in the video, but I should have enough prior knowledge to look over your theories.” The logical side said, needlessly adjusting his glasses.

“Great!” Remus said, poofing a sketch book and pen into his hand. “Well I was thinking of what an alien would look like if they lived on Venus and what they would need to withstand the heat.” Remus said as he vigorously started sketching. “So I figured that they could look a bit like roly poly bugs so that their thick shells could take the radiation from the sun.  They would also burrow underground to escape the heat and find minerals that are edible to them.” Remus explained.

“That is, fascinating Remus, though their technically called pill bugs for your information. How long have you been thinking about these species?” Logan said, looking over Remus’s incredibly realistic drawing. He was truly in aw at Remus’s explanation as to why these creatures look how they do and explaining what they are capable of and the purpose of it. Remus just shrugged at his question.

“For a while I guess, I don’t really have anyone to share them with. Dee doesn’t really find outer space interesting and when I try to, uh, freak out Roman with them he doesn’t understand the science behind them that makes them truly terrifying.” Remus said. He had tried to show them to Roman once or twice, but Roman didn’t understand Remus’s interest in space and aliens when they create magical creatures that could do literally anything every day.

“Yah, I could see Roman getting confused with the fascination of aliens, he prefers to mythology to science fiction.” Logan said nodding along.

“Yah, how do you think he would react if he ever met and alien that traveled to earth? I bet he would be like,” he cleared his throat a bit and sat up a little straighter, when he spoke he sounded just like his brother. “You claim to be advance being but you don’t even know what Disney is?!” He put a hand to his chest as if thoroughly offended, he then let his act drop and slumped back down on the bed.

           Then remus heard a sound he never thought he would hear, Logan started laughing. Not his quick or stuck up laughter, but a real laugh. He snorted a bit and started laughing so much he put his hand over his mouth to try to quiet the noise.

“Wow, you sure can do a good impression of your brother. Hahaha!” Remus just stared at Logan in aw, well shit, guess I’m gayer than I thought. Remus started to rethinking everything he thought about the tie wearing side before him while Logan seemed to calm down from his laughing fit.

“My apologies , I usually don’t laugh that much, do you want to watch something else?” Remus, still in a bit of a daze, just absentmindedly nodded. Logan looked up something else to watch and the two spent the rest of the day watching videos and comparing theories they’ve had for so long but didn’t have anyone to share them with. Eventually Logan fell asleep, his head slightly leaning on Remus, and the creative side was of course having a bit of a gay crises on the inside. On the outside however, he just smiled and decided to head to his own room and let Logan get some sleep, he probably needed it because of the nightmares Remus had caused Thomas to have the night before. He put a pillow under Logan’s head and made his way to the door, turning out the lights as he went. Logan wouldn’t notice till later, but his closet door stood fixed and in its place, now painted a dark blue with bubbles and stars scattering it.

Yay! Another chapter done! I was so stressed out to finish this because all my classes are dumping projects on my head that I had to complete this week. Anyways. I hope you enjoyed a bit of fluff, you’ll need it. Well, that’s all for now humans! If you want to be added to the tag list just ask! Have a good day, bye!

Tag list

@lovelivingmydreams

[fic-ify]

Pocket Beel! (part 2 of 2)

Welcome back! Here continues the dorkiness of my OC Max while trying to keep an eye on miniaturized Beel. Big thank you again to @boxbusiness for inspiring this fic and @thatfanfictionchick for hyping me to write it.

Warnings: none, it’s fluff

She was warm, very warm, and there was a weird pressure against the base of her throat that she couldn’t identify in her half-sleep. A low grumble escaped her before a yawn pressed against her lips and escaped. She blinked sleepy eyes open, slowly focusing on Belphie’s sleeping face in front of her and finally noticing the arm wrapped over her waist.

A soft huff left her as she raised a hand and ran her fingers through her bed invader’s hair, briefly wondering how he’d made it through the locked door. A matter she wasn’t entirely surprised over if she thought about it. One sleep hazed eye opened to look at her, watching her smile in greeting. That gaze flickered down and the soft grunt of discontent he gave made her glance down as well.

“Cheeky.” She chuckled as she looked down at Beel where his head was poking out the neck of her sweatshirt, the rest of him hidden under the fabric against her chest. In his sleep he looked so happy and peaceful she couldn’t be mad. She was just glad he wasn’t in his demon form. Even at this size, his horns would be a pain against the sensitive skin of her neck.

“Asmo figured out a trick for his clothes.” Belphie’s low voice said to her, his arm tightening around her and drawing her attention back to him. “Not sure we can get them back to normal, but at least he’ll be comfy.”

“Thank you Belphie.” She gave him a chaste peck against his lips. To which he frowned, looking for all the world like she’d flicked him in the forehead instead.

“Kiss me properly.”

“Why don’t you do it yourself?” She giggled, earning a playful growl before he leaned forward to do just so. His lips captured hers fully as his hand guided her onto her back so he could lean over her. She hummed against his mouth, opening for him to let his tongue lazily explore her own.

“Oi! No lip mackin’ on the human’s bed!” The door slammed open, barely preceding Mammon’s shouting. Belphie pulled away lazily and glared over his shoulder at his brother. “Get yer butts outta bed. Dinner’s almost done.” Though the message the second born had been given had been delivered, he refused to leave the doorway, glaring back at his youngest brother with his arms crossed.

“Alright alright, we’re up.” She shoved lightly against Belphie, rolling him off her so she could sit up. She looked down at Beel, still dozing in her shirt. “Beel baby, time to wake up. Dinner is ready.” Ignoring Mammon’s indignant squawk and stammering at seeing the little demon in her clothing, she watched Beel wake up slowly. His eyes brightened at the recognition of talk of food.

“Here.” A small bundle landed on her lap from Belphie while Beel climbed out of her top. She looked down to see what looked to be shrunken versions of Beel’s casual clothing. The little demon hopped down onto her lap and grabbed them before ducking behind her for some attempt at privacy. Not that his she or his twin hadn’t seen him in much less, but with Mammon still playing watchdog and the already present humiliation of his size, he clearly wanted a moment.

“Ready!” He popped back out, dressed up in his sweatpants and t-shirt looking much more comfortable. Belphie lowered a hand to him before raising him and sliding him into his breast pocket on his jacket. Max giggled at the sight of Beel’s head and arms hanging out of the pocket, perfectly content in his spot.

Dinner passed without too much fuss that evening, or at least no more than usual. Beel stood anywhere from his plate to various spots on the table, sneaking bite-sized servings from the dishes. Levi and Asmo took various pictures and recordings of the whole ordeal, the latter making cooing and squealing noises at the cuteness of his little brother. Mammon moaned and griped about how it wasn’t a big deal and ‘how could someone so small be more interesting than THE Great Mammon?’ Or at least he did until he talked himself into the idea of either selling Beel or selling pictures of him. Both ideas were shot down immediately by Belphie and Max.

Eventually, Beel hopped down into Max’s lap and snuggled down to take what seemed to be a food-induced nap. It was the first time in weeks that they had plenty of leftovers to get them each through lunch the next day if they wanted. Lucifer and Satan both dismissed themselves as the table was being cleared, not surprising anyone since they had been the least involved in the dinner antics. With Beel slipped into her sweatshirt pocket, Max followed Belphie and Levi into the kitchen with the intent of finding some dessert.

“Movie night?” Her question was answered by a grunt from where Belphie had hunched over the table to sleep, and an affirmative from Levi washing the dishes. She set about making popcorn and snacks, giggling a bit when Beel flew from her sweatshirt and out onto the counter to pilfer through said snacks. The mood was comfortable between the four of them, rather, three and a tenth of them. She and Levi discussed the possible movie options, eventually narrowing it down to a psychological thriller from the human realm. When she turned back around to check on Beel and the snacks, she could have cried.

“He may be the size of a sulfur rat but he still eats like a boar,” Belphie commented as he spoonfed his twin pudding. Two empty pudding cups sat beside them on the table and the one they were working on was about half empty. The spoon was nearly the size of Beel’s face, but he didn’t seem to mind as he gobbled it down happily. “I’m never going to let you live this down.” He told Beel, who very much ignored him in favor of another mouthful. Levi and Max exchanged a glance before whipping out their D.D.Ds and snapping a photo of the pair.

“Alright! Movie time!” She announced, gathering the bowls of popcorn and several bags of snacks in her arms. Levi led the way and Belphie trailed with Beel once again in the breast pocket of his jacket. The two of them were discussing something but their voices were too low for her to make out. Not that she needed to listen, she was just curious.

By the time they had settled in in the movie room, Mammon and Satan had both joined. The former talking himself up to show that he wasn’t scared even as he insisted on sitting next to Max on the couch. The latter settled into an armchair a little behind the rest with a book, but she had a feeling he would end up paying attention to the movie in the end. Belphie laid across the rest of the couch with his head in her lap and Levi made himself comfortable on the floor with some pillows. The last one to get settled was Beel, who dove quite literally into the bowl of popcorn in her hands and vanished amongst the kernels.

“Have you seen this already Max?” Satan asked while the movie started and trailers rolled.

“I saw the original when I was younger, my dad was big into suspense and action movies.” She laughed a little as a thought came to mind. “That honestly explains a lot about myself now.” The comment earned her a few chuckles before they settled down.

Levi and Satan were both quickly enthralled, Belphie had fallen asleep and she wondered if he had been awake at all since he’d laid down. Mammon was trying very hard not to seem like he was curling into her side but she could tell by his fidgeting feet and grip on her arm that he wasn’t doing so hot with the movie. To better anchor and distract him she pulled her arm free from his grasp and wrapped it behind him around his waist. The touch seemed to do the trick when he relaxed into it and his feet stopped moving.

“Beel you have butter and salt in your hair.” She whispered when the little redhead poked his head out of the popcorn again. He grinned up at her playfully, shoving an entire piece into his mouth instead of replying. She just shook her head and smiled in return before focusing again on the movie, vaguely aware of the soft crunches coming from the snack in her hands.

-

“Max, sleep!” Beel’s tiny voice called out to her from his spot on Belphie’s head as they walked from the movie room to their respective bedrooms. When she looked up at him and raised an eyebrow, he pointed to the bedroom door they were now in front of. It was the twin’s room.

“He wants you to spend the night with us.” Belphie translated for her. She hesitated for a moment, thinking of the homework she wanted to get a head start on that was waiting for her in her room. When the twins didn’t immediately receive an answer, Beel turned on his stupid puppy dog pout that, at any other time was already effective. At his current size, it was practically fatal.

“Fine, fine! Let me just go change and I’ll come over.” Both looked ready to insist she could wear some of their clothes to sleep but she was already walking away to her room. At least this way she could take care of her nightly routine before being commandeered away in their room. She just hoped Belphie would let her get out of bed at a reasonable time this time.

“Where’s Beel at?” Max asked curiously when she walked into the twins’ room twenty minutes later. Belphie was laid flat on his stomach on his bed but the smaller brother was nowhere to be seen.

“Bath,” He snorted at her utterly horrified look. “He’s in the sink, don't worry. I’m not too fond of drowning my brother. Not terribly satisfying when he’s so small.” While he might have had a point there, it didn’t mean she was overly fond of it. Instead of responding she walked over to the bathroom door and gave it a light knock.

“You doin’ okay in there Babs?” She listened carefully and relaxed when she heard an ‘I’m okay!’ in affirmation. A huff from Belphie alerted her to the youngest brother’s discontent. Though if it was due to her disbelief in his honesty or the fact that she still hadn’t cuddled up to him, she wasn’t quite sure.

“I’m going to fall asleep without you if you don’t hurry up.” Belphie threatened, rolling onto his side to face and glare at her.

“You’d do that no matter what pace I moved at.” She pointed out but yielded by approaching his bed anyway. She slid in under the covers and under his offered arm, settling in in front of him with a warm smile. “There, happy now? Needy demon boy.” That earned her a playfully light bite to the tip of her nose before he used his arm around her waist to draw her closer. Before he could start anymore mischief that would end in a much longer night than she needed at the moment, she turned onto her other side, forcing him to be her big spoon.

A low growl was muffled into the back of her neck when he begrudgingly pulled her close against him. It was a noise that said he knew what she was doing and a change of positions wasn’t going to stop him. She knew it wouldn’t but it would give Beel more time to leave the bathroom. And about a minute later, as the sloth demon’s hands had started to caress and wander, the bathroom door finally opened.

Pocket demon-form Beel hovered out of the doorway and across the room to them eagerly. His hair was still a little damp but was clearly much cleaner from his adventures in the popcorn bowl. She blew on his head gently, causing him to squawk indignantly and giggle before attempting to hide under the pillow.

“You’re both disgusting.” Belphie said, his tone displaying the eye roll she was sure was occurring at the back of her head. She ignored him in favor of reaching for Beel and coaxing him out to nestle against her neck under her chin. A happy hum escaped him, sounding much like what she remembered a kitten’s purr to be like.

“Night you two.”

“Night! Love you Max!” Beel called out, breaking off with a yawn before going silent again. Belphie echoed him though his words were lost as a mumble as he fell asleep quickly before either of them. Not that she was far behind him, she noted as her eyes drew heavy and her body finally relaxed after the long day.

-

For the first time in a while, the overbearing heat of a demon body beside her was not the source to wake her up. Nor was the monstrous growling that seemed to reverberate through her bones. Rather it was the fact that she was currently being suffocated beneath whatever, or whoever, was the cause of those two factors.

“Beel!” She squealed, wiggling under the once again fully grown gluttony demon to no avail, no matter how much she jabbed at him with her fingers. “Beeeeeel! You’re crushing me Babs.” Finally she felt him stirring, a heavy sigh focused on the crook of her neck that caused her to shudder, and his arms further wrapping around her.

“You’re pokey.” He complained, rolling over onto his back and effectively pulling her on top of him. This she could handle. “Five more minutes.”

“I thought I was supposed to be the Avatar of Sloth.” A second voice teased with a sleep filled voice. A third arm wrapped around her where Beel’s arms didn’t cover as Belphie snuggled into his brother’s side and half splayed his limbs over her.

Sloth indeed. She thought affectionately, relaxing into their cuddles once again to drift back asleep. She could enjoy Beel being fully grown later, for now it seemed she was being held hostage in the bed once again.

Not that she was complaining.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #401

“my love is just waiting to turn your tears to roses”

Do you typically do your makeup the same each time? Or do you like to change it up often? IF I wear makeup, it's essentially always the same. Who is the last person you were in a room with just the two of you? What were you doing? Yesterday with Mom. We were trying to find the best deal on Eco Earth, a substrate we're getting for Venus. What was the last really good book you read, and what was it about? If we're talking REALLY good book, then The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. In short summary, it's a dystopian future novel where women are now basically just objects used only for repopulation, even having their names stripped from them. They follow very strict rules as society has returned to horrible misogyny. As a woman, the "oh my god, this is possible" aspect of it is terrifying, and it causes such a sense of disgust and urge to ensure women rights always continue to be fought for. Do you feel safe in your country? For the most part, I'd say. I guess. There are places I'd feel safer, though. How many meals do you eat a day? Three. Have you ever performed a solo dance in front of a crowd? No, but I was supposed to my senior year in high school; the seniors at my dance studio were always welcome to do a solo in celebration. Mine was a modern dance to "Coma White" by Marilyn Manson, wanting to tell a story about depression and how being medicated could feel, but I eventually decided like halfway through learning the choreography that I was just too nervous to do a solo. Have you ever sung a solo? No. When you go to McDonalds, what drink do you usually get? Coke. Have you ever had to call and complain about a product you bought? No. Do you own a designer purse? Definitely not. I'm not wasting that much money on something like that. What’s the weirdest rumor you’ve ever heard about yourself? Apparently, Jason and I had a baby in high school even though I was obviously never pregnant. To my knowledge, it was started by his ex. Who is now a good friend of mine lmaooo. Life is funny. What was your favorite Saturday morning cartoon growing up? Pokemon, of course. Would you ever have an affair? Nope. Would you ever have a one night stand? Nope. Where you present at any major historical events (e.g. 9/11)? No. What are your opinions on marijuana legalization? Legalize it, but treat it similarly to alcohol in that driving under the influence is illegal and punishable, and I believe you should be of a certain age. How about abortion? I am pro-choice. I was pro-life most of my own life, but now I am very firm about a mother being able to choose if she wants to endure a pregnancy or not. Like, that is a MASSIVE life event that almost inevitably changes - and sometimes traumatizes - people. I do believe a fetus is its own body and not part of the mother's, but rather in the mother's, but the belief that a woman decides what she wants in her body is her choice, too. I'm not very fond of people treating abortion as a simple, regular form of birth control, like it's nothing but an "lol whoops," but I still believe it is ultimately her decision, and she should always be free of judgment for doing what is best for her. Do you wear skirts or dresses more often? Neither. I wouldn't dare wear a skirt more so, though. What do you think about tipping at restaurants? There should always be an expected minimum, imo, unless the person was truly, sincerely, genuinely fucking awful. Waiters do not have an easy job, fight me about it, and they're just trying to survive while putting on a happy, jovial face, all the while dealing with hungry people who can be such assholes. I believe the actual tip should relate to actual service, but again, give them something. Would you ever get back together with any of your exes? One, absolutely. The other would take a shitload of consideration and proper communication on his part. Do you have a preferred coffee brand? No, because I don't like coffee. Do you usually befriend your coworkers, or do you prefer to keep work separate from your personal life? IF I had a job, I'd like to build a friendship with those I have to engage with almost every day. What is something you frequently forget? Dates, ages, names, what I was about to do five seconds before I forgot... Pretty much everything. My memory is frightfully poor. Is there any drama currently going on with your family? No. When you take a nap, do you nap in bed or on the couch? In my bed. Were you raised by both of your parents? If not, then who raised you? Both; my parents split when I was somewhere around 17, though, but I'd say there wasn't much more "raising" to do at that age. Have you ever stolen anything? If so, why? No. Have you ever plagiarized someone else's work? Hell no. What's your most-used mode of transportation? My mom's car. Have you ever taught someone else a useful skill? Not to my recollection. Does seeing everyone else's 'perfect lives' posted on social media ever bring you down or affect how you feel about yourself? It actually does, honestly. Not ALWAYS, but if I'm being honest, it does most of the time. I've contemplated deleting Facebook for that reason, but with is also comes things that make me happy, and I think I'd feel even more isolated without it. What is your favorite Hostess/Little Debbie snack? This is SO impossible for me to answer. I loooove Hostess and Little Debbie treats. I want to say honeybuns, but I also love those chocolate cupcakes with the white swirls on top, as well as Twinkies. Very few exist that I don't like. Do you/your family buy loafs from the bakery or bagged on the shelf? We just buy bagged bread. What’s the best news you’ve gotten lately? My APAP mask is definitively WORKING!!!!! :') Mom got an app that connects to the machine via Bluetooth that monitors the effectiveness of the mask, evaluating many factors of your sleep, and it's detecting a definite decrease in disruptive behaviors or something like that. It is so, SO encouraging to know that. ^And, the worst? Hm. Oh, probably some news on something serious a good friend is going through, but I don't feel it's my right to disclose what. It's just a very worrying and potentially dangerous issue that I wish I could help her with. Would you rather receive (or give) flowers, chocolates or jewelry? I'd appreciate any, but my fat ass is drawn to the chocolate, ha ha. What *I* would give would vary depending on what the person liked. How do you feel about coconut? Smells lovely, but is otherwise gross. ^ Ever cracked one open? No, but omg I've always wanted to, haha. What’s the best thing about being your gender? I guess the fact it's more "normal" and "accepted" to show our emotions. Fuck that generalization, though. I don't give a shit what your gender is, you experiencing emotions is NORMAL and welcomed to be expressed. ^ And the worst thing? The ability to be raped and impregnated by it. Do you do your part to save the earth? I don't do nearly enough. :/ We recycle, but that's about it. Well, none of us DARE to litter either, but I still don't feel like it's as much as the earth deserves from its denizens. Who do you think should have their portrait on a bill? I don't know or care. Why did you last feel exhausted? Yesterday was my niece's birthday, and I spent essentially ALL day playing with her and her brother. I have a very limited battery when it comes to kids, and I was running on empty for hours. My anxiety was SO high and I really needed a break from them, but they're too young to really understand that Aunt Britt can only socially run for so long before I'm completely burnt out, and TRUST ME, I was there for sure. I didn't want them to think they did something wrong, you know? I just had to keep going. I slept like a baby last night though for sure, haha. Have you ever used emotional blackmail to get your own way? Wow, no. Has anybody ever used emotional blackmail on you? No. Who did you last worry about and why? Sara for health reasons. Are you currently looking for a new place to live? Not actively, but Mom and I definitely want to move. We feel very out-of-place here in the suburbs. Which would you prefer as a view; mountains or the sea? Mountains. Do you have a mouse for your laptop? (Assuming you have a laptop) Yes. I canNOT play games with a trackpad. Do you apologize a lot? Extremely excessively. When you get married what do you think you’ll put most of your focus and money into? Do you mean like, for the wedding? In that case, probably the venue. Being a photography buff, I want a place I think is really pretty to have pictures taken. What’s something you complain about frequently? My legs hurting, my weight, and being hot. Do you have anything planned for the summer? Nope, and that's fine with me. I'd rather stay inside away from the heat. Who usually makes dinner in your household? My ma. Do you have a blog? Just on Tumblr. Does anyone in your family snore loudly? My mother does because of gerd, and at least when my father still lived with us, he snored super loud, too. Do you want to fix anything with anyone? Yeah, a few people. What shows do you watch? Right now, only Meerkat Manor: Rise of the Dynasty. Whenever The Edge of Sleep comes out, I will 110% be watching that, too, because Mark is a key actor in it. :') Plus the concept seems super cool. Have you ever broken someone’s heart? I don't know. Who was the last person you had a conversation with on the phone? Me mum. Does the song you’re currently listening to remind you of anyone specific? No, given it has like... one lyric, haha. Do you own any TV show soundtracks? No. Last thing you did that made you feel like an adult? I mean I guess sign myself in at the doctor's. What’s your favorite picture of your mom? Dad? Oh my god, there's a candid one I got of Mom laughing when she was posing as my subject for a photography assignment, and I cherish it with ALL my heart. I want to share it with essentially the whole world, but yeah, I'm not gonna put my mom's picture here. As for my dad, I like this one I took of us at Red Lobster for his birthday a year or two back. Last TV show series you finished? Fullmetal Alchemist with Sara. Favorite flavor of cream cheese? Regular. What US state would you like to visit? Alaska. Last meal you made yourself? I put a chicken pesto thing in the microwave earlier for dinner.

[spookypalace]

worship the flame - chapter seven

Jo peaks a look at him once or twice as he’s ordering a list of drinks, she’s certain he catches her as pink lips curve into a smirk. Brown eyes meet for a final time before he steps away, and she wonders—maybe her dry spell would end.

—

Or the one where Jo meets Alex in a bar, during her final year of med school.

(if you would rather read on ao3, you can do here)

Their final week off before the remainder of med-school had gone by in a blur, after the horrific dinner with Lexie’s parents, both Jo and Lexie decided the rest of their week would be low-key. Whilst Steph and Leah had preferred the idea of spending their evenings and mornings in the clubs of Seattle, Jo just really didn’t have the energy or the money to get dressed up and throw money at an overpriced bar. So, the two girls spent most of the time back at their apartment, a few nights at Joe’s. There was once or twice Jo ventured over to Alex’s, but only when Lexie was at Jacksons—the apartment felt lonely without them.

For Jo, what had been surprising, is the new-found friendship that had begun between Jackson and Alex. It almost made her laugh. Since the dinner with Thatcher, the two men had seemingly found that they got on pretty well. In fact, if Alex wasn’t at work or with Jo—he was with Jackson. Popping out to the grocery store and coming back to find them sat on the couch, cold beer in hands and some game of football blaring on the old television, had initially been a shock for her. But now it was a regular occurrence.

Honestly, she hadn’t realized how much of an effect seeing him so comfortable in her space had on her until every time she looked at Alex, she felt her stomach do a somersault and warmth to spread up her neck and across her cheeks. And that was just by gazing at him. Jo found herself looking towards Alex when she knew he was in the room and smiling whenever he did the same or when she heard his laugh. Within less than a handful of days, her feelings for Alex had gone from platonic and purely physical to something a lot more that she was way too hesitant on properly identifying. She was still trying to figure out how the hell this transpired.

How had it happened so fast? In the blink of an eye, it felt like. One moment Jo and Alex are promising they will not have feelings for one another and the next she’s willing her erratic heart to calm the hell down at the mere sight of Alex. It was crazy how feelings for someone snuck up on you and how hard they hit you, and the realization Jo had that she liked Alex as more than just a sex … friend had left her breathless. Although, she’s unsure if it’s the good or bad kind because while Alex had become one of the best guys she knew, he was also unavailable. He’d told her that much at the very beginning. And she had promised it was not a problem. Until it was.

God, Jo felt pathetic.

What was just as bad is now that she was painfully aware of her not-so-platonic feelings for Alex, she found herself subtly and as discreetly as she could manage avoiding any one-on-one time with him—unless they were, of course, having sex. She had grown to love hanging out with Alex, but now she can’t help but be super conscious of how she acted around him and had this fear that she’ll somehow let it slip that she’s attracted to him, and she couldn’t have that. Although it was hard, Alex had been spending an increasing amount of time at her place and with Jackson—just lounging on her couch or in her bed. All plans, unless they didn’t require clothing, now always accompanied Lexie and Jackson, with the odd appearance of Steph and Leah.

“Hey, you wanna go to the movies in a few?” Jo’s shoulders tensed ever so slightly at the sound of Alex’s voice, glancing at him over her shoulder from where she stood by the counter in the kitchen preparing a Nutella sandwich. He was popping his head in from behind the entryway wall, upper half curling into the kitchen as his gaze remained on her. “Jackson and Lexie want to go see that film that you guys were talking about the other day, I know you said you wanted to see it. We can leave now and catch all of the trailers,” he added, after hearing of Jo’s love of wanting to see every preview before the movies.

Oh, God, that sounded a lot like a real double date. Or maybe Jo was just overreacting, as always, but she didn’t want to risk it. Knowing Jackson and Lexie, they’d be wrapped up in each other during the movie leaving Jo and Alex by themselves, and that totally went against her poorly thought-out, dumb plan of keeping a some-what distance from him. Even if she really did want to watch the movie.

“Oh, um,” she blinked, neck tensing at the expectant raise of Alex’s eyebrows. “I would but I’m really tied. I was actually gonna’ take a nap after eating this,” she lied, gesturing to the sandwich as she quickly turned around and put the two pieces of bread together and capped the jar of Nutella.

Alex glanced at her sandwich, eyebrows lowering into a slight frown as a confused chuckle escaped him and he stepped around the wall to lean against it. “Seriously? Lexie said you’ve been dying to see that movie since the trailer came out.”

“Yeah, I’ll just watch it online or something, I still have some studying ...” Jo shrugged nonchalantly her words dying on her lips, dropping the dirty knife in the sink with a clang. “But you have fun.”

“Have fun?” Alex scoffed, a smile tugging at his lips as he shot me a look. “I’m gonna’ be third wheeling with your friends.” When his lower lip jutted out slightly, the action instantly drawing her gaze to his mouth, Jo’s stomach clenched as Alex prodded, “Are you sure you don’t wanna’ come?”

Jo inhaled quietly, pressing her lips together in an apologetic smile as she moved to walk out of the kitchen, having to walk towards Alex since he was right at the entryway. “Sorry, Alex,” she responded, sandwich in hand. “Take one of your roommates.”

When she was right next to him, Alex turned his head to look down at her, eyes light with mirth as he told her, “They’re not nearly as fun as you.”

Oh, fucking hell. Even if he was joking around, that wasn’t helpful at all in Jo’s plan of at least trying to hide her feelings for him. Ignoring the heat rising in her cheeks, Jo quickly said, “Don’t let them hear you say that. Have fun at the movies.”

Instead of waiting for a reply, Jo offered a brief smile before hastily going to her room and shutting the door behind her, letting out a deep slow breath as she dropped herself on the bed. Taking a rather violent bite of her sandwich, Jo felt her shoulders sink in defeat. If the smallest of comments from Alex had her body going into a frenzy and her breath catching, how was she at all going to be successful in keeping her feelings for him at bay? This wasn’t going to be easy.

“You know you’re about as subtle as a neon sign.”

Jo blinked up at Jackson, frowning behind the shield of her book as the boy sat down on the couch next to her, having returned from the movies just ten minutes earlier. Alex had headed off to work and Lexie had hopped into the shower. “Huh?”

Jackson chuckled lowly, “tell me, Jo,” he spoke up once again, bringing his legs up onto the coffee table and resting his arms on the couch arms. “Do you have a thing for Alex?”

“Obviously.”

“Huh?”

“We’re sleeping together.”

“That’s not what I mean, and you know it.”

What the hell?

Jo’s jaw loosened at Jackson’s inquiry, eyes widening behind her book and heart jumping into her throat. His eyes were on hers and Jo’s shoulders tensed, taking in a sharp breath as Jackson waited for an answer. But she was too stunned and taken aback to say anything, to confirm or deny, because of course Jackson would sense something is up—he’d been spending a ridiculous amount of time around them both. He may be the quiet one of the four—at least, when he’s sober—but he’s definitely the most observant; he’s always watching people, dissecting them with his eyes and mind and figuring them out like the world’s easiest math equation. Jackson seemed to read people so easily, and Jo should’ve known better than to think she would be able to hide anything from him. She spent half her time wondering how she was keeping this from Lexie.

When she didn’t say anything for a few moments too long, his lips twitched as he shrugged and assured, “It’s okay if you do.”

“No, it’s not,” she blurted, not even bothering to deny anything. All the air expelled from her lungs as Jackson quirked a brow, silently prodding her to continue as she threw the book down and looked ahead. Jo’s eyebrows lowered in a distressed frown. “He’s—I can’t ... he doesn’t want that. I feel like I’m, like, betraying myself or something.”

“Because you didn’t want a boyfriend.” His words were more of a statement than a question, yet Jo nodded anyway as she sat up, crossing her legs and picking at her unpainted nails. Jackson sighed, “you can’t help who you have feelings for, Jo. So what? You didn’t want a boyfriend, but that was before you met the guy.”

“It’s not that—relationships are messy already and then you add me into the situation and I—I mess everything good in my life up.”

“That’s not true,” Jackson instantly retorted matter-of-factly, effectively clamping Jo’s mouth shut as she looked at him almost helplessly. He sighed as he took in the brunette’s expression, shifting so he was sitting face her with his own legs crossed. “You and Lexie have been friends for years, she loves you—trust me, she talks about you like you’re her favorite person. It almost makes me jealous.” Jo smiles, shaking her head with a small laugh, “does this have something to do with … that Jason guy?”

“Maybe,” she countered, tilting her head challengingly. “Everyone said he was such a nice guy, I mean he was charming and funny—no one had a bad word to say about him. But then he’s with me and he turns into someone else, he’s a cheater and manipulative and he—”

“Jo, that has nothing to do with you. That’s him. That’s who he really is, behind the facade.” Jackson cuts her off, frowning.

With a huff, Jo changes the conversation back to Alex, “what if I told Alex I liked him more than that? What if, hypothetically, he liked me back and we wanted to date? I’m not saying that’ll happen, because I very much doubt it, but if it did—who's to say it wouldn’t end in disaster. That we’d end up hating one another when we might be working together in a few months' time.”

Jo saw Jackson’s eyes widen as his eyebrows shot up his forehead, full lips parting in surprise before asking, “that’s what it’s all about, taking risks. It would be nice to see how things panned out before getting yourself into something, but half the fun is doing it for yourself.”

Jo scoffed, raspingly and a bit bitterly. “You just like having another guy around,” she joked afterwards, regretting the way she was treating him in this moment. Jo was just coming to terms with the fact that she was developing feelings for Alex, so the idea of actually being with him was still out there—just a hopeful imagination running wild without having to deal with the consequences of sharing them with anyone. Until now, with Jackson.

Jackson’s gaze returned to her as he leaned closer, deep voice dropping low as he looked at her over his sunglasses. “I get you’re scared,” he told her. “But it’s about you and how you feel, okay? If you like Alex and you want something out of it, let him know. Forget about all the what-ifs for a second—what’s the worst that could happen if you tell Alex you like him?”

Jo blinked, staring at Jackson in slight incredulity, surprised that he was pushing her on this. Honestly, she was kind of glad she had someone she could talk to this about. Jackson would never be her first choice, it would always be Lexie, she’d found recently that he was very easy to talk to; he was quiet, but he always listened and if you were one of the people he opened up to, then something about that made the person feel special. There have been lots of moments since they finally met one another all those weeks ago, some when they were drunk off of wine, where Jackson would let Jo know all of his thoughts and feelings and dreams, and it was a time she welcomed wholeheartedly.

But once his question settled in her mind, Jo let out an unladylike snort and pointed out, “He might not feel the same way and totally reject me.”

Much to her surprise, a smirk curled at Jackson’s lips as he leaned away from her, humming out in a tone that told her he knew more than he was letting on, “Oh, I wouldn’t be so sure about that.”

Jo’s heart thudded against her chest in a particularly hard beat, eyes widening as she stared at his blue-eyes in startlement as her stomach did an anticipated flip-flop. What the hell did that mean? The look on Jackson’s face told her he knew something that he wasn’t revealing, and that sent her curiosity skyrocketing. “What’re you talking about?”

To her chagrin, Jackson merely shrugged as he hopped to his feet, ignoring her protesting exclaims as he smirked and walked towards the bathroom, hearing the shower turn off. “Wha—Jackson! Come back!” she shouted, briefly frozen in her spot on the couch. He wasn’t sure about Alex rejecting her feelings for him? What? “Jackson! Don’t think I’m letting this go!”

When he neared the bathroom door, rich laughter escaping him as he did so, Jo let out a frustrated sigh before throwing herself up off the couch, practically running towards the much taller male as she tried to catch up to him. Even when Jo caught up to him and jumped on his back, sending them both falling around the small hallway with laughter, it did nothing to get Jackson to spill whatever secrets he was holding.

“What the hell is going on?” Lexie shrieked as she threw open the bathroom door, frowning with curiosity down at the pair with a towel wrapped around her slim frame. When all she was met with was laughter, she stepped over the pair and towards her bedroom with a sigh and a smile.

Jo was convinced the best way to torture someone was by telling them they know something but not actually letting them know what that something is, leaving their imagination and thoughts to run rampant with wild curiosity. That’s exactly what Jackson was doing to her since he dropped some sort of hint the other day on her couch, and even when Jo tried to drown him in questions, he didn’t budge on telling her what he meant. But Jackson just smirked and laughed and said nothing. Asshole.

Why did Jackson have to say I wouldn’t be so sure about that when Jo said that Alex wouldn’t feel the same way about her as she did about him? The potential answer to that invited the excited fluttering in her stomach to increase tenfold and heart to pick up its pace, but she wasn’t going to jump to any conclusions without having a solid answer—which Jackson was being ridiculously secretive about. Why say something so vague? Pretty sadistic of him, in Jo’s opinion.

Every time he looked at her, Jo narrowed her eyes at him in a glare lacking any real anger or maliciousness and he merely smirked in response, knowing exactly what he was doing to her. Alex and Lexie had caught the interaction at one point, but Jo quickly looked away and didn’t give them any room to question.  

Tonight, after being back in school for a week, the weekend rolled around and Jo was hoping to get her mind off of her raging curiosity by joining everyone in going to a club, for once, that was only a five minute drive from the bar. But since no one was completely dedicated to being a designated driver, they split two Ubers and arrived at the club after pregaming for a bit at the bar—where Jo would have happily stayed but Stephanie had other ideas.

As expected, the club was throbbing with life at this time of night, music playing at a deafening volume as people gathered in the middle to dance to the live DJ, off on the right to lounge on the couches and tables, or to the left where almost the entire side was taken up by the bar. There were people upstairs too, the second floor only making up the perimeter of the room as the back spilled out onto a large back deck with more couches so people could enjoy the outside weather while hearing the music from inside. Since it was on the beach, people were either hanging out on the deck or going towards the beach.

As soon as they got inside, Jo and her friends gravitated towards the bar and she was pressed between Lexie and Steph’s newish boyfriend, Kyle, as Jackson got one of the bartender’s attention and requested a round of shots. The bass of the remixed music thrummed in Jo’s ears as everyone’s chatter mingled altogether, laughter erupted from them all following some remark Leah made trying to convince them on how playing hard to get was the perfect way to bag an older man. It was funnier because he looked so serious talking about it. Jo had to fight turning her gaze over to Alex the entire conversation.

The vodka burned down Jo’s throat once they tossed the glasses back, not even pausing as two more rounds were brought in front of them as they took those as well. As the boys ordered some drinks for themselves, Steph grabbed Jo’s and Lexie’s hands before dragging them towards the center of the room, pulling them in the midst of the dancing crowd so they could move amongst the somewhat sweaty bodies that were already rubbing up against them. But the couple of shots of vodka, plus the few drinks Jo had taken before coming here, were already mixing with her blood and she felt good, so dancing with her friends was exactly what she was going to do. Even though her long hair was loose, her sleeveless bodysuit and shorts didn’t let her feel too hot despite the stuffy atmosphere.

The song was some Migos remix, though everyone was yelling out the lyrics as they moved to the beat and white lights flashed to the rhythm. They must have danced to two more songs before Jo broke away from the crowd and went back to the bar at Steph’s request of getting more drinks. The guys were right where they had left them, backs against the bars and glasses in their hands as they talked and sipped while the three of them shoved themselves between the boys.

“Whoa, whoa, none for us?” Jackson demanded over the music, an amused grin spreading on his lips at the girls after they downed the first round.

Lexie smiled that flirtatious smile she only reserved for Jackson, left hand on her chest as she pulled him towards her and teased, “Only if you join me on the dance floor, babe.”

His grin widened as he pulled her closer, which at this point Jo looked away to reach for another shot glass and downed the green apple flavored liquid. Her throat no longer burned as the drink went down, placing the glass upside down on the wooden bar top. She gestured for the bartender to bring another round, wondering just how wasted she could get by the end of the night.

“You know Alex’s been wanting to dance with you all night,” Jackson’s voice spoke in Jo’s ear, when he returns from the dancefloor, low yet she could hear him clearly despite the loud music. “Avoiding him is just gonna’ make him think you hate him or want to end whatever is going on between you or … something.”

Automatically, Jo’s eyes wandered around to find the brunette, landing on Alex towards the right as he stood leaning against one of the pillars. This wasn’t really his type of music, but he was smiling and chatting away to Kyle, watching them actually enjoy themselves was amusing to Jo. “You know I don’t hate him,” she mumbled, tone dejected and drunkenly slow as she leaned her head against Jackson’s shoulder.

They were sitting on one of the couches on the right side of the room, right under the second-floor landing where people above and around them were dancing and having a good time. Lexie and Steph were lost somewhere in the crowd. “Then tell him that, Jo,” Jackson responded, twirling the glass he held with long fingers as the ice inside clinked around. “Just because you realized you like Alex as more than a friend-with-benefits, doesn’t mean you have to stop acting like his friend, you know? Don’t push him away because you’re scared of the possibility of having more.”

Jo wasn’t nearly as drunk as she’d like to be to be having this conversation, and not for the first time did Jo curse her ability to hold her alcohol well. She didn’t know how many drinks she’s downed so far, but the most she was feeling was a little heaviness in her head and mild sluggishness. She was still painfully aware of every word she said and every thought she processed.

Which is why Jackson’s words were settled in her mind like wet cement; sinking and hardening as she realized he was right. Jo was being dumb by trying to push Alex away just because she was scared—not scared of telling Alex, but scared of finding out how he felt, of feeling like she was betraying Charlotte. Seriously, what kind of friend went after their friend’s ex, knowing they have some unresolved issues with them? But try as she might, Jo couldn’t kill the butterflies that erupted when Alex smiled or relax the quickening of her heart when his eyes met hers. There was no stopping any of that, and it dizzied her how fast her feelings intensified over the past few days.

“How do you know he wants to dance with me?” she found herself asking, hoping her tone was quiet enough for only Jackson to hear, which wasn’t a problem since Alex was a few feet away and the music was deafeningly loud.

“You kidding?” Jackson chortled deeply in mild amusement after taking a sip of his drink, his shaking shoulders causing Jo’s head to move right along with them. “He couldn’t keep his eyes off of you when you were on the dance floor. He was watching your every move. You guys have been doing this thing for quite a few weeks now, so I know, and you know it’s not just lust.”

Jo’s mouth dried at that, feeling the familiar quickening of her heart as her eyes flickered over to Alex. He was talking to Kyle, a grin on his face as they remained shadows of two men due to the pillar they were against, the flashing white lights in the center not reaching them. He was watching her? Oh, my God—he was watching me? What did that mean? Fuck, she sounded like a teenage girl.

As if reading her thoughts, Jackson mused, “You wanna’ know why I said what I said that day after the movies?”

This time her heart jumped in her throat, causing Jo to croak out an instant, “Yes.”

He took a breath, chest expanding as she kept her head against his shoulder, not daring to move until she heard him reply. The music seemed like nothing but background noise, an irritating sound Jo wished she could drown out. Finally, Jackson confessed, “Because he told me, a few days after dinner at Thatcher’s, about how he feels about you.”

His words had Jo immediately lifting her head and leaning away from Jackson, staring at him with widened eyes as she remained frozen where she sat. He merely looked back at her, brown eyes glinting against the light, raising his eyebrows as if to say I said what I said while Jo just sat with an expression of confused shock etched across her face. Alex told Jackson how he feels about her? What does he feel? Also, how does a friendship between two guys develop that fast? Once again, as if reading her thoughts, Jackson smirked and said, “You’re gonna have to find out from him exactly what.”

That snapped Jo out of her incredulity, eyebrows lowering and lips forming a pout as she gripped his arm, shaking it as she whined, “Jackson!”

But the black-haired boy shook his head, smirk widening in delight of withholding information from his friend. “Nope, ask him,” he said, eyes flickering over her shoulder before he jutted his chin. “I’d ask him now, if I were you. Looks like he’s headed out back.”

Jo instantly looked over her shoulder, catching sight of Alex walking away from Ashton and making him way around the crowd towards one of the doors to the back area, and Jo let out a heavy breath at the sight of his broad retreating back. Oh, God—should she ask him? Part of her knew that, judging by Jackson’s expression and words, whatever Alex may have to say would be exactly what she’d want to hear, but the other part of her was terrified of that being true. If Jo told Alex she liked him and he told her he liked her, then what? … would they date? Would that be so horrible?

“Fucking hell, Jo, just go after him,” Jackson groaned pleadingly, making her look back at him with wide eyes as he gestured to the back with his free hand. “Go! Stop overthinking everything and just do it.”

Jo stared at Jackson for a few moments, worry clear on her face as she chewed her lower lip and probably ate off whatever little lipstick she had left. She was overthinking, she knew, but she couldn’t help it. Tipsy or not, Jo had to think this through. Jo knew it wouldn’t be that easy.

But the further and further Alex currently walked away from her, the more rapid Jo’s heart got and increased the desire to run after him. Suddenly she felt completely sober, even if she actually wasn’t, and she quickly said to Jackson, “Don’t tell anyone,” before getting up and following after Alex, not even bothering to wonder if Jackson knew she meant for him not to tell anyone anything about her and Alex. He probably did.

Jo pushed through a bunch of people, muttering out apologies and excuse me’s as she neared the back entryway Alex had disappeared through moments earlier. She was glad she had decided not to wear heels because she probably would’ve tripped over her own feet with how fast she was moving to get to Alex.

It wasn’t hard to spot him when she finally stepped outside, taking in a breath as she welcomed the openness of being outdoors rather than inside the stuffy club as she glanced around, blinking through the mild lethargic heaviness her head felt. It was much more chill out here, people chatting and drinking and lounging on the outdoor patio or walking down the few steps that lead to the beach. Alex was in the front corner, looking out to the beach as the torches that were spread around the porch bannister provided a glowing light to the area.

Jo’s hands weren’t sweaty, but she still rubbed them down her shorts as she began walking over to the tall brunette, ignoring the chill her exposed arms and legs felt as she swallowed nervously, weaving around a few lingering people until she reached him. “Hey,” Jo greeted, sneaking up to his left as her hands gripped the metal railing.

The ice in his glass of vodka on the rocks clinked as he lowered it from his mouth, looking over at her in mild surprise. Alex was leaning forward, arms resting on the railing as his lips curled upwards slightly. “Hey.” He glanced around the area, raising an eyebrow. “Needed a breather?”

“Yeah,” Jo answered with an airy laugh, leaning with her left arm on the railing, body towards Alex yet looking out towards the beach. The sound of the waves was distant over the music, the smell of the salty sea mingling with the alcohol making for a sharp, pungent scent. “Way too stuffy inside—isn’t that why you’re out here?”

A lazy smile curled at the corner of Alex’s lips, shrugging one shoulder as he vaguely answered, “More or less.”  

Jo hummed, side against the railing as she folded her arms in attempt to hug herself to shield her body from a particularly chilly breeze that blew against them, her straightened hair flying slightly. Wearing a deep cut, sleeveless bodysuit and shorts wasn’t as good of an idea if she was outside, fighting against the wind. As if sensing her discomfort, Alex glanced over at her, taking in her stance before resting his glass on the railing and pulling back his arms to shrug off the black jacket he was wearing, he held it behind Jo and draped it over her shoulders.

Her gaze flickered up to him, breathing stilled at the newfound proximity as his fingers drifted down to grip the front of the jacket, head bent slightly to look down at Jo thanks to his above average height. He was swaying ever so faintly with the wind as his dark eyes met Jo’s brown, and she knew she had to breathe again but with him looking at her so intensely, the action seemed impossible. But she managed to, inhaling softly as Alex’s familiarly pleasant coconut and aftershave scent engulfed her, a welcome change from the alcohol she had been smelling inside.

Alex didn’t pull away from her, standing close. “Are you sure that’s the only reason you came out here?” he finally asked, deep voice a raspy murmur as he didn’t dare break their gaze. “Because it’s too stuffy inside?”

His words had a meaningful, purposeful tilt into them raising a pointed eyebrow as his fingers remained gripping the jacket to keep her in place. Jo rolled her lower lip into her mouth, unable to break her gaze from Alex’s paralyzing one. The embers of the small fires on the tiki torches danced in his light eyes, golden against them and melting Jo on the spot. She was so focused on his gaze that she barely registered his question and when she did, Jo felt herself swallowing inaudibly in attempt to loosen the tightness in her chest.  

Obviously, that wasn’t the only reason she was out here—honestly it wasn’t even a reason. The sole objective was to get to Alex, to talk to him and hopefully muster up the nerve to tell him how she felt, just like Jackson had been urging. Maybe the alcohol she had drank throughout the night would provide for some liquid courage, but the way Alex’s gaze was fixated on Jo had her brain short circuiting and proving it difficult to form words.

“I—No, that’s not—I’m not—” Fucking smooth, Jo. She was stumbling like an idiot over her words because the way Alex was looking at her truly was messing her up, feeling the heat rise up her neck and spread across her cheeks. The sleeves of his jacket were long on her arms, hiding the way her fingers of both hands were picking at her newly yellow painted nails in anxious nerves. Just tell him. Stop freezing yourself with worry over everything else—just tell him. Speak now and worry later.

Apparently, Alex found her stammering amusing as a boyish, lower-lip-biting grin took over his face, showing off his dimples and effectively stealing Jo’s breath. She wondered if Alex knew how handsome he was and how his smile could maybe, possibly end all wars.

He was getting closer, she could feel it, along with the fact that his hands were now sliding up and holding the sides of her neck in a gentle touch, the metals of his rings cool against her heated skin as his fingers slid slightly into her hair. The sounds of people chattering, and music playing was taken over by the thundering of her heart, breath unsteady as barely an inch remained between Alex and Jo, his nose brushing against hers once he leaned in, his own uneven breathing mingling with her own. Was he as nervous, anticipating the next few moments as she was? The ends of some of his curls were tickling Jo’s cheek as Alex surprised her by whispering, “I need you to say it, Jo.”

His gaze was practically impaling her and she found herself glancing down at his lips—pink and soft looking and full—as she swallowed and muttered breathlessly, “Say what?”

The pads of Alex’s thumbs brushed against Jo’s cheekbones. Was the music still playing? Neither of them could hear it, attention solely on each other. His gaze flickered to her lips, mirroring her action. “You know what.”

Jo’s hands, which had been nervously at her sides, finally moved as she lightly fisted the front of his black tee, and she spoke the first three words that popped in her head. “Kiss me, Alex.”

He didn’t have to be told twice because the second those words escaped Jo, Alex leaned towards her and she met him in the middle, eyes shutting at the first touch of his lips against hers. Honest to God, it felt like she was exploding as Alex’s lips moved surprisingly slowly, softly against her own. Suddenly it wasn’t just Jo’s sense of smell that was taken captive by Alex—he had taken over everything. She felt the languid movements of his lips and the tender touch of his hands against her cheeks and in her hair, the taste of vodka welcome only because it was coming from Alex.

It was a slow, sucking kiss that tightened Jo’s grip on his shirt but ended way too quickly with Alex pulling away. But he didn’t put much distance between the two as Jo’s eyes dazedly opened, staring up at him with a parted mouth and slightly widened eyes. Alex’s blue eyes were looking at her; like he was taking in every feature on her face for the first time as his gaze flickered all over, and for a moment Jo felt a bit unsure of herself because of the pure intensity of his staring, which was doing the exact opposite of slowing her heart rate down.  

Jo felt light on her feet, the heaviness in her head dissipating after that kiss because, shit, it was everything she could’ve hoped for and more. Alex’s lips were softer than she imagined, the touch of his hands cupping her cheeks gentle and comforting, so much so that she didn’t want him to let go.

Then Alex’s lips curled upwards in a smile that showed off his teeth and dimples and Jo instantly mirrored it an automatic response. Elated gaze once again meeting his, she felt the air rush back into her lungs in time for Alex to press his lips against hers in a kiss of much more fervor, like he was putting every ounce of his feelings into it.  

[manage-mischief]

Star Struck

Read on AO3 here. 

Summary: Prompt: “I couldn’t function without you.” 

Lily Evans was having an awful day. James decides to try and make it better.

Author’s note: Written for @angelinathebook‘s writing challenge. Shameless fluff. I think I’m going to write for Jily more often: this was so fun to do. This takes place during 7th year, after Lily and James had been dating for a few months. Hope you enjoy!

Lily Evans was having an awful day. She had been up all last night on patrol as Head Girl, dealing with some incompetent first years who had injured themselves trying to touch the trunk of the Whomping Willow. The incident reports had taken hours for her to complete. This morning, she had headed to her classes with a massive, ear-splitting headache. She could barely concentrate during Potions, had accidentally set a cushion on fire in Charms, and was sure she had failed this afternoon’s Transfiguration exam. All she wanted to do was return to her dorm and sleep for the foreseeable future. She should have known that she wouldn’t be so lucky.

As she made her way back to Gryffindor Tower, a voice called out from behind her.

“Hey, Lils!”

Lily smiled and slowed her pace to allow her best friend, Mary MacDonald, to catch up. Despite her immense fatigue and desire to avoid human interaction, she could never be irritated at Mary. The girl was just too damn sweet.

“Hey Mare, you headed back to the Common Room?”

“Of course! That’s where everyone’s headed, isn’t it? I suppose they all want to see,” Mary giggled. When she saw the blank expression on Lily’s face, however, her laughter died.

“Oh. You…you didn’t hear…”

“What didn’t I hear?” Lily questioned. As she climbed the stairs, she now noticed the unusually thick flock of students around her. An electric excitement ran through the air as the young Gryffindors whispered in hushed, urgent tones. The whole house seemed to be making their way back to their dormitory.

“I can’t believe they actually did it,” a small third-year gossiped with her friend.

“Well, they didn’t really, did they? I mean, that’s what I heard. That they failed and are all stuck in it now! That’s why everyone’s going back to see,” her companion replied.

“I guess so. But, still, it’s a hilarious prank, even if it hasn’t gone quite according to plan. They’re so funny! And the tall one, he has such dreamy eyes,” the first girl sighed.

Lily’s mind filled with dread. So, someone—or rather—some people had tried to pull off a prank in the Gryffindor Common Room, and it had gone miserably wrong. She looked at Mary, not even wanting to ask…

“I think it was an accident…they didn’t mean it…” Mary quietly muttered, avoiding her gaze. Lily’s unspoken question had been answered. Dammit, James.

Lily stormed up the final steps, shoving her housemates out of the way a bit more aggressively than was necessarily appropriate. She reached the portrait of the Fat Lady and took a deep breath, attempting to gain some last-minute composure before she walked in on whatever mess her boyfriend and his mates had concocted.

“Hungarian Horntail,” she gave the password, rubbing her temple. The Fat Lady looked down upon her with sympathy. “Correct. Are you sure you want to see? It’s a lot to take in, and you look exhausted.” Reluctantly, Lily nodded. The painting swung open.

Lily had thought she was prepared to witness whatever stupidity awaited her. She had thought wrong. The scene that was unfolding before her was so bewildering, so utterly idiotic, that it took her several moments to fully process.

Students stood on their dormitory stairs, craning around each other for a view of the chaos that was ensuing. Lily felt a mob of people behind her in the portrait hole, pressing in to get a closer look. For the Common Room was no longer the Common Room. The entire place had been transformed from a cozy castle hangout to a hot, damp, sticky bog. The chairs and couches that normally occupied the space were all covered in a thick, black mud that looked to be about waist high.

And, in the middle of the monstrous, muddy mess were none other than her boyfriend, James Potter, and his three best friends.

“Oi Pete, stop moving! You’re splashing mud on my glasses!” the black-haired boy snapped.

“Sorry!”

James had yet to recognize Lily’s presence. She remained in the portrait hole, vaguely aware her house mates’ giggles. Every member of Gryffindor seemed to be there, all witnessing the same scene: James Potter, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew, and Remus Lupin —Merlin’s balls, she’d have thought he at least would have known better—all stuck in the muddy bog that they had evidently created.

The four boys continued to struggle for a few moments, but it was no use. They remained stuck, unable to break free from their dirty prison.

“Moons, watch the hair,” Sirius cried as Remus attempted to pry his mud-soaked hand off of his friend’s scalp. “Ow!”

“Shut it, you two,” James shouted. “We need to figure out how to get out and get rid of this mess before Lily—”

“Ahem,” Lily coughed. Slowly, all four boys turned—as much as they could, given they were trapped in enchanted mud—towards the redhead in the entryway. “Too late.”

James’ face turned beet-red. His hands shot up to his hair unconsciously, mussing it up. He swallowed. “Oh, hey Lils. Have a nice day?”

So, he was going for the casual act. Ok. She could play along. “Ah, you know, nothing too special. After being up all last night, I was hoping to turn in early. But, it seems like some idiots made sure I can’t get to my room, doesn’t it? How strange! You wouldn’t happen to know anything about this mess, would you?”

Sirius snorted, amused at the sight of his best mate being publicly mocked by his girlfriend. Lily turned her head and glared daggers. He shut up immediately. Her gaze shifted to Remus, who refused to meet it. At least he had the audacity to look ashamed of himself.

The four troublemakers regarded one another, silently debating who was going to be the one to tell Lily the truth. She stared back at James. Despite her annoyance, she was curious about what had caused this predicament.

“Well,” James finally spoke. “We modified this portable swamp we bought at Zonko’s. Those one’s they sell there aren’t very effective,” he paused and looked up at her hopefully, wondering if he could get away without having to explain the rest.

“And?” Lily pressed. The rest of the Gryffindors fell silent and watched intently, like they were spectating at a very intense Quidditch match.

James sighed. “And we were going to use it to transform the Slytherin Common Room—they totally deserved it, Mulciber and Avery hexed a first-year muggle born this morning—and well…Peter sort of…dropped it…”

Lily’s eyes widened. “He…dropped it?”

Peter whimpered. All eyes had focused on him. “Nice going, Pettigrew,” someone scathingly remarked.

“Hey!” James came to the defense of his small, squirrely friend. “Shut it! Anyways, well, it ended up being dropped and activated and we hadn’t exactly tested it to see how the mud would work and well…here we are,” he gestured to himself, his friends, and the mud that trapped them. “We can’t seem to figure out how to get rid of it…”

Lily wanted to stay mad. Oh, how she wanted to stay mad. But, looking at James’s cheeky, apologetic grin, her annoyance melted away. She drew her wand and began mumbling some incantations for getting rid of magical messes that she had learned about earlier in the year. Sure enough, the mud began to disappear, and the Common Room returned to normal. Now, all of the Gryffindors’ eyes were focused on her, filled with awe and admiration. It was a good thing she paid attention in Charms.

“Oi,” she cried at the dumbfounded spectators. “What’re you all doing still standing around? Show’s over, folks!”

Instantly, the crowd scattered. Lily hopped gracefully down onto the now mud-free floor and walked over to James, who was sheepishly rubbing the back of his head. She rolled her eyes. “Git,” she muttered, but her small smile betrayed her irritated tone.

Sirius walked behind her and patted her on the back. “Nice one, Evans. You’re a champ!” He grabbed Remus’s hand and dragged him up towards the boys’ dorm. Remus shot her an apologetic look before he vanished up the stairs.

“That was brilliant, Lily,” James praised her. “Seriously. Thank you. I know it was idiotic, and immature, and—”

“—and we’ll have to think of another way to stick it to those wannabe Death Eaters,” Lily finished. James stared at her in shock and admiration.

“Oh, you bloody bet we will,” he joyfully exclaimed.

“As long as you run your ideas by me, Potter. Because, from what I saw here tonight, I think you’re in desperate need of my supervision.”

“I promise, Lily. Honestly. I couldn’t function without you.” His tone was joking, but his expression was sincere.

“Clearly,” she stated, holding back a yawn. She frowned, remembering the day’s events and her exhaustion. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I just really want to go to sleep and forget this dreadful day ever happened.” She turned for the stairs, but he grabbed her hand, pulling her back towards him.

“Hey,” James’s hazel eyes sparkled. “How about I make it up to you? You go take a nap. Meet me back here at midnight. I promise I’ll do my best to improve this shitty day of yours.”

Lily’s insides swelled with warmth. Despite what anyone may think, James Potter was a sweet and caring boy. He may have been an idiot, but he was her idiot. “It’s a date,” she smiled. Their hands lingered as she walked away from him, up to her room. A wide grin was still plastered on her face as she flopped down onto her bed, thinking of the boy who would be waiting for her when she woke up.

At midnight, Lily crept down the stairs, careful not to wake anyone. There were only a few other students studying when she arrived at the Common Room—none of them James. She glanced around and checked her reflection in a decorative suit of armor while she waited. After a few moments, she felt a tap on her shoulder. However, when she spun around, no one was there. She scanned the room. Still no sign of James. All of a sudden, the air in front of her rippled. An instant later, she found herself staring at her boyfriend’s disembodied head.

Lily jumped backwards, wide-eyed. “Bloody hell!”

James’s head laughed heartily. “Sorry, Lil, I couldn’t resist,” he said, cheekily. “Here, come on in, there’s plenty of room.” He revealed the rest of his body as he pulled open what appeared to be a slightly-used cloak. She nervously looked around to make sure no one else was watching, and then darted into his open arms. He folded the cloak around her body and pulled it over their heads.

Lily felt her heartbeat pound in her chest as they were pressed together under the garment. She glanced back and noticed that her reflection had disappeared from the shiny surface of the suit of armor. “Wow, an Invisibility Cloak!  I thought these were a myth! I’m impressed, Potter,” she teased.

“Only the best for you, dear,” James didn’t miss a beat. “Shall we?” He gestured at the portrait hole.

“Trying to get us caught out of bed after hours, are we? Just when I thought you’d had enough trouble for today.”

“Well, are you going to join me, or not? Because I could always get Sirius to come instead. Though he’s not nearly as fun to snog,” James winked. Lily’s face broke out into what she now referred to as her uncontrollable “James grin”—large, beaming, playful, and usually accompanied by the shaking of her head. She had been wearing this expression a lot, lately. No one brought out her goofy, carefree side nearly as much as James Potter did.

“If you insist, James, lead the way.”

The pair maneuvered themselves out of the portrait hole, remaining under the cover of the cloak. About half way down the corridor, James put a hand on her shoulder, signaling her to stop. He pulled out a ruddy old piece of parchment and examined it pointedly. “Hm, no, we should be ok, he’s on the first floor…”

“Who’s on the first floor?”

“Peeves,” James said, matter-of-factly.

“And you know this how exactly?” Lily asked suspiciously, trying to peer up to see what was on the paper in his hands. Quickly, though, James stuffed the parchment into his back pocket.

“I have my ways,” he cryptically remarked. “Point is, we won’t be attacked by flying dung bombs on our way to the Astronomy Tower. C’mon.”

The couple climbed up the stairs to the tallest tower of the castle. James opened the door to the open-air observatory and revealed his surprise.

Lily gasped. A picnic blanket had been arranged on the floor. Spread out upon the red and white gingham was an assortment of her favorite treats: Cauldron Cakes, treacle tarts, and, to her delight and surprise, a bag of her favorite Muggle candy, Skittles. Two goblets had been set to the side, as well as several bottles of butterbeer. James gently pulled the cloak off of them and jerked his head at the display.

“After you, m’lday.” He took Lily’s hand and helped her take a seat on the blanket. He plopped down beside her. The night was cool and clear. She looked up and noticed that he had arranged their picnic in the perfect position to gaze up at the glittering stars overhead.

“James…”

“I know, I’m an amazing boyfriend and you don’t know how you got so lucky,” he joked, dramatically. Lily chuckled.

“This is…well…it’s absolutely perfect.” She reached for the bag of Skittles. “How did you even get these? And…is this butterbeer from The Three Broomsticks? What do you do, keep a stock?”

He flashed a mischievous smile. “I have my ways…and had some time while you were sleeping. Seriously, it’s the least I could do. It seemed like you were having a bad day. And, I see it as my quintessential duty as ‘Boyfriend to Miss Lily Evans’ to cheer you up when you’re feeling down.”

Lily’s cheeks reddened. She grinned shyly as she reached into the bag of chewy candies.

“Here,” James said, “hand me some of those. I need to see what all the fuss is about.”

After the pair had eaten and drank their fill, they sat silently together, leaning shoulder-to-shoulder, staring up at the sparkling heavens above.

“You know,” Lily remarked, “I reckon I’d have enjoyed Astronomy classes a lot more if they had been more like this.”  

“Yeah, I reckon I would’ve, too,” James replied, turning his body so he was facing her head on. His untidy black hair rustled slightly with the wind. His glasses sat slightly crooked on his face, and Lily gently reached her hand up to straighten them. As she slowly drew her hand away, he took it and kissed it. He moved his other hand to brush a strand of red hair from her face. Her eyes fluttered downward, shyly. Slowly, timidly at first, the young couple leaned in closer until, finally, they bridged the gap between them. Their lips met, and Lily felt the familiar flock of butterflies explode inside of her: butterflies that always appeared when James kissed her.

Their soft kisses became more intense. Her hands ran through his mop of hair, while his moved up and down her body. She broke away for a moment.

“Better than Sirius?” she teased.

“Loads,” James laughed before he pulled her back in.

And so, the couple remained glued together well into the night, exploring each other under the stars…  

….

“James?” Lily turned her head to look at him, comfortably leaning back into his warm chest, his arms wrapped around her.

“Hm?”

“What was on that paper?”

He laughed and shook his head. “I knew you wouldn’t turn a blind eye. Trust me, it’s better if you don’t know. I’ve already shown you my Cloak. I can’t be giving away all of my secrets.”

Lily pouted.

“After we graduate, I’ll tell you,” he relented.

“Bold of you to assume we’ll be together after we graduate,” Lily quipped, though secretly joyful that he had spoken of a future between them.

He stared down at her, his gaze suddenly intense. “We will,” he said, so seriously that it made Lily’s heart skip a beat. “I know we will. I told you before, Lily. I couldn’t function without you.”

And, as her green eyes stared into his hazel ones, she realized: she didn’t think she could function without him, either.