markus-stadlober

[veryintricaterituals]

If he's not going to space just to impress me then I don't want him

[dfwbwfbbwfbwf]

The Noldor needed to return to Middle Earth.

This is a long one, so I put it under a Read More thing.

I was looking into the Doom of the Noldor, and why the Valar weren't interested in going after Morgoth after he murdered a guy, and I came across the rather reasonable argument that the Valar could only defeat Morgoth after he put a great deal of his influence into Arda, kind of like a giant One Ring, which would weaken him. Which is all fine and good, I guess.

(Not sure why they couldn't just do what they did in the War of the Powers and evacuate everyone out of Beleriand before sending Tulkas in, as that would be far more responsible than what they actually ended up doing, but I digress.)

So that's it then. The Valar plan to just sit around Valinor, chilling, while Morgoth essentially runs around Beleriand with a can of gasoline and a match. And, based off what I've read, it sounds like they were really just kind of doing nothing until Eärendil and Elwing showed up to buy protection. Or it does take three years to sail from southwest Beleriand to the Bay of Eldamar. (It took Eärendil eight total, and four of them were after Elwing showed up, and it is a long journey; there's a reason the Noldor went as far north as they could in Aman before attempting to sail.)

Here's a map for reference. Credit to Karen Wynn Fonstadt. The Helcaraxë is so tiny!

Anyway, I'm going to give those who stayed in Valinor the benefit of the doubt and assume they spent 5 and a half centuries preparing for war.

(Even though the Noldor were plenty ready for it when they left, considering they annihilated Morgoth's army. Yeah, Fëanor died, but who could expect fire demons of nightmares to show up randomly?)

Sorry. I keep getting into tangents. The Valinorians prepare, get a signal from ... something, and sail across Belaegar to destroy Morgoth and save the Men, Elves, and Dwarves. Happy ever after, and the Flight of the Noldor was completely useless and pointless.

Except it wasn't.

Sure, most of that plan would've still worked as intended, except for the "save Men, Elves, and Dwarves" part. Beleriand would have been an utter wasteland by the time they got there without the Noldor's intervention. Morgoth might have conquered even more. Imagine if he got to Cuiviénen, the far south of Harad, even Hildórien.

"That's impossible, dfwbwfbbwfbwf. Even Morgoth couldn't have mustered up the strength to do that."

But is it impossible? Who would have been there to stop him?

Círdan's Falathrim were nearly exterminated, saved only due to Fëanor's intervention. Denethor died because Fëanor was too late. (By how much, it's unclear, but it happened the same Valerian Year, so maybe a few Sun Years. If Olwë had helped, and Uinen not slowed the Noldor, and Ulmo provided a way across, perhaps Denethor would have lived. But I suppose we'll never know.) Melian guarded Doriath with her Girdle, but Þingollo never sent anyone out to engage with Morgoth; he couldn't, because Doriath didn't stand a snowball's chance in Mordor. What Sindar and Nandor were trapped outside the Girdle were certainly no match for Morgoth's forces. I wouldn't be surprised if Morgoth conquered the entire continent (again, save Doriath, but Doriath is about as concerning to him as a mosquito bite) before Iþil rose for the first time. After all, it took him about 19-20 years to take over half the land, and he had about 27 to take the other half.

I don't imagine Morgoth would go after the Khazad, and I don't see the Khazad going after Morgoth. They'd close their doors to all, and Morgoth wouldn't have to worry about them.

Morgoth would still venture east and corrupt the newly awoken Men, and I think some would repent and travel west to become the Edain, but they would either remain in Middle Earth, or be destroyed and/or corrupted upon reaching Beleriand. There would be no Finrod to greet them, no Dorthonion or Brethil or Dor-Lómin for them to settle and thrive in. There would be no Beren, Dior, Elwing. There would be no Hador, Galdor, Huor, Tuor, Eärendil. No Elrond or Elros.

Morgoth would continue south and east. The Nandor and Avari would likely fall - I think the Silvans would be destroyed or subjugated first, as they probably have a smaller population. And with each civilization Morgoth conquers, he has more potential orcs.

I do think Morgoth would still develop his dragons. He's a reptile dad imo.

By the time the Valinorians arrive in this timeline, there's nothing TO save. Even if they manage to defeat Morgoth, it would take longer. More lives lost. More land sunk.

Do I think the Noldor were the only reason this didn't happen? No, but they were a very big one. Their first attack in the Dagor-nuin-Giliath decimated Morgoth's army, something that took him four and a half centuries to build up enough to fight with again. They guarded Beleriand against the northern menace. They made the continent a safe place for Elf, Man, and Dwarf to thrive, something the "King of Beleriand" couldn't accomplish, and the "King of Elves" Ingwë and "King of Arda" Manwë refused to try.

Do I think the original argument of the Valar waging a war of attrition against Morgoth makes sense? Yes. Do I think their plan would have worked? Depends how you define "worked" - they would have defeated Morgoth, but the cost would be too great. This is why Fëanáro was born: to save Beleriand. And even though he was only on the continent for a short time, he did just that. The Valar should have helped him, but they were, at best, foolish, at worst cowards.

Remember to thank a Fëanárion for your existence today.

... No one is going to read this, and if you did, you're insane. But I guess I'm insane for writing it. Have a cookie and milk. 🍪🥛

[starpawedart]

Post-Premiere Briefing 🦇

So, fun fact-- I went to the WWDITS Panel at SDCC back in July! I have been absolutely VIBRATING for three months about the first episode and was soooo excited for everyone else to be able to see it. But waaaay back then, I decided to quickly doodle a few frames I remembered, and wanted to do a little side-by-side with actual screenshots when the episode came out. Happy to say that my brain still has a little bit of memory left in it, even if exclusively limited to vampires, because these are all pretty damn close 😤

I also uhhhhh warned people that I definitely blacked out during the Nandermo Bed Scene (formerly referred to in public as the Nandermo [Redacted] Scene) and I was so afraid that my brain just made everything up about how close they were sitting. LOOK AT ME NOW BABYYYYYYY I DID NOT LIEEEEE (except for the phone? you mean Guillermo was just laying there doing nothing??? I'm so Not Normal about this)

Anyway. [Nandor Voice] How are we feeling?

[chitty-chitty-bang-bang-bang]

“You’re dead and out of this world” (Nandor x vampire!reader)

Requested by @hannahbisssssss

Word count: 1,174

Age Restrictions: 16+ (based on adult media)

Trigger Warnings/Tags: Anxiety, emotional breakdown, hurt/comfort, fluff, mostly platonic, could be read as romantic

Synopsis: You knew you were dead. Of course you did. But seeing your grave in person just like that was… more than you could take.

Author’s note: I’m sorry I died writing this. Blame the exams and assignments :(

____________________________________

“I am almost fully sure it’s supposed to be somewhere around here…” You mumbled examining the map once again.

“I think we’re lost, [reader]. I don’t see anything that looks like what you’ve described.” Nandor looked around.

The only things that could be seen for miles and miles were trees. Somewhere in this forest was supposed to be your grave. Obviously, it was empty. But your relatives still wanted to honour you by burying your valuables, which you desperately wanted to get back. This treasure hunt started a few days ago when you found a map that led to your old home. You didn’t want to go there alone, because who knows what could be hiding in these bushes so you took Nandor with you. But now it was apparent that your childhood home was long gone and overgrown with greenery.

“No, I swear… I swear, it was right here!” You said pointing to your left. “It was exactly 300 steps away from the river… It… It’s supposed to be right here.” You started looking around frantically.

“Maybe you were just mistaken. It was hundreds of years ago, you wouldn’t remember it perfectly if you wanted to.” He shrugged. “I don’t remember where I was born either. It’s not that strange. Let’s forget it and go home, it would be bad if we stayed in the forest until the sun came up.”

“Nandor, please, can we look just a little bit more? I have a strong feeling, that it’s somewhere near.” Pleading wasn’t beneath you, if it meant actually finding any remains of your previous life.

He hesitated for a moment, then sighed and gave in, following you deeper into the forest. He was probably right and your mind just mislead you about the location of your former house, and yet you stubbornly walked along the river, looking around for anything resembling it. You heard Nandor’s heavy steps stop abruptly and turned to look at whatever made him halt.

“[reader], did flowers grow near your home?” He pointed to the other side of the river, where a small meadow of lilac unfolded.

A sharp breath got caught in your throat, because in the middle of that meadow was a big rock, that looked like no other than a gravestone. For some reason, you suddenly felt uneasy and anxious to go near it. It was your grave. The one that your close ones came to, when they wanted to mourn your demise. The one your family worked so hard to set up.

You immediately teleported to the other side of the river, running up to the tombstone and starting to dig aggressively, not sparing your fingers, clawing your way through the moist ground. You couldn’t bear to look at whatever was written on your grave. It’s not like you would understand it anyway. The language in which it was written no longer exists and you certainly don’t remember how to read it. But just the mere thought of recognising one of your relatives’ carving chilled your already cold bones. Nandor joined the digging, as both of you went deeper and deeper into the dirt, until your hands started to bleed stale dark blood.

You’ve reached it. You’ve reached the bottom. And there it was, a big wooden box, definitely not in the best shape, as it was dirty and lumpy with moisture. You gently took it out and looked at Nandor for a few seconds, contemplating whether you actually wanted to open it in front of him or not. You were already fairly emotional and seeing whatever is inside might just push you over the edge.

“Go on, open it.” Nandor nodded at the box in your hand. He probably wasn’t fully aware of the weight of this situation.

You hesitantly undid the simple buckle, that held it shut and peeked into the contents, but it wasn’t quite what you expected. Those weren’t any of your valuables that you left behind or some relics. These were gifts. A carved wooden doll of you, several handwritten letters, several pieces of cloth from each of your family member’s clothes.

You felt repressed memories flood back into your brain, pulling you in a whirlpool of nostalgia and grief. You missed them so much, more than you’d ever like to admit to yourself, so you just forced yourself to stop ever thinking about your family and it worked well so far. But here you were, crying like a little child, clutching this wooden box, pretending it was your lifeline. As if your whole being depended on this very collection of useless trinkets.

Hot tears streamed down your cheeks, as you desperately tried to regain control over your own body. You didn’t need to breathe, yet somehow still managed to keep running out of breath. It was as if the world was closing in on you at that moment and you had no idea how to let go of those ghosts of the past.

From the corners of your vision, you noticed Nandor. He was surely not expecting your sudden breakdown and his eyes were darting from you, to the box, to the grave and back to you. For a second, he had no idea what to do and you couldn’t blame him, because you didn’t either. He slowly made his way closer to where you were sitting.

Just when you felt like there was no resolution to this situation, another pair of cold hands wrapped around your shoulders and gently pulled you into his chest. He ran his fingers through your hair slowly and whispered something in Farsi, that you couldn’t quite make out. You leaned closer into his embrace, letting him soothe you on his own.

It felt so nice. Rarely ever in your undead existence did you feel warmth. But here, it was warm all over. If not physically, then definitely emotionally. Nandor wasn’t the one to show outright affection often, so this moment felt very special.

“Are you okay?” He asked, a bit nervous about accidentally making it worse, because it definitely happened in the past.

“I’m better… Thank you.” You replied quietly, still shaken and in the process of collecting yourself after the episode. He wanted to pull away, but you stopped him. “Can we just stay like this for a while?”

“Yes. Yes, we can.” He returned to his original position.

An awkward bit of silence hung over your heads, but you let it. This wasn’t a moment for either of you to speak, this was a moment to savour in silence and cherish it while it lasted. You weren’t sure how much time passed with just the two of you in this position, but it was enough for the two of you to see the sky starting to slowly brighten, which meant it was time to find a shelter, until you can come back out at night.

The two of you solemnly backed away from each other and in a wordless agreement started to walk in the direction of the nearest forester’s house…

[badass-queer-couples-battle]

Gay wrongs tournament, round one of the major bracket

Propaganda:

For Nandor and Guillermo:

I feel like accessory to murder and cause of the murder counts, right? 

Classic vampire/human who wants to be a vampire except there's an understanding in the show of how messed up that is, down to Guillermo helping chop up the bodies of Nandor's victims to hide them for him. Then there's the added wrinkle of Guillermo finding out he's a vampire hunter by blood and actually very good at killing vampires. There is more than one incredibly erotically charged scene with Guillermo holding a stake to Nandor's chest. Their dynamic is fantastically complex, from Guillermo starting as Nandor's somewhat disgruntled servant to him besting the vampire in combat and becoming his bodyguard, to Guillermo getting tired of waiting and getting another vampire to turn him leading to a long jealousy arc culminating in Nandor nearly killing him... there's just so much going on with these two. Nandor flew to space just to impress Guillermo. They do a number of heinous things to humans and vampires alike, but through it all they are so in love and so rich with pining. One of these days they'll kiss, I'm sure of it. It's just a monumental slow burn with many vampiric atrocities along the way.

They aren't romantically canon yet, but dear lord. Both are canon queer, Guillermo is specifically gay while nandor is mentioned to be pansexual in interviews. Yeah they are everything and nothing. They fought and can kill eachother but they literally can't do it emotionally. Also forbidden love trope, vampire x vampire slayer /familiar/ body gaurd / best man. They make me unwell.

For John and Jack:

So, they both are literal murders. One of them is a little bit more insane than the other. Okay, the little bit part is not right, totally insane that is John, yes. But gonna love him though. He had been in rehab for alcohol, drugs, sex and murder. Don't kiss him, he might be wearing poisoning lipstick. They are canon mlm. They had been stuck in a two week time loop for five years, which was like leading a married life for them. They didn't actually marry, but they were partners, both in business and sexually. They worked together for an time agency. Then Jack's memories of two years were erased and he left. He went into  independent self deployment, doing scams using his knowledge of future events. After that he build an alien hunting institute in Cardiff, Wales. When John and Jack see eachother again after years, you don't know whether they will they kiss or fight. They do both. Did I tell you that along this story Jack became an inmortal who can't stay dead? No matter how or how often he dies or is killed, he keeps coming back to life. This is all very scraping on the surface, but oh boy, would it be at least a novella to describe them.

They worked together in the Time Agency where they did horrible things to the extent where Jack had two years of his memory stolen so that he couldn’t know what he’d done. They were also in a time loop together for five years where they canonically thought of each other as the wife (John was a good wife :3), and were basically married. Then they had a divorce arc and they both separately went rogue from the Agency to become conmen, although they still worked together/clashed on occasions, always still with that spark of passion. “Frenemies with benefits” Jack called them once, although John preferred “my lover, my rival, my nemesis and destiny. And bane of my bloody life.” Canon finds us where Jack has tried to reform and be a better person, but John is still chasing cons, and all he wants to do is bring Jack back to the stars with him, back to the crime and the glitter of the galaxies (it doesn’t work and he shoves Jack off a building but Jack got himself immortal so he’s fine <3) anyway I am very normal about them xoxo

In John's introduction to the series he shows up on a roof where some guy is mugging someone, grabs him by the throat and dangles him over the edge of the building while this guy begs for his life before dropping him just because he felt like it. When John and Jack interact for the first time in the show there's a super cool guitar riff, very evil western vibes, they walk up to each other, look deeply into each other's eyes, make out, then start throwing punches to Blur's Song 2. In one of the audio dramas we're told about various times where these two conned people, stole a bunch of money and gold and gems and stuff, then had sex with whoever it is they conned before (sometimes) killing them. When Jack devided he was done and left John to die John escaped and married the queen of England (Victoria) then locked Jack up somewhere to take his life force and live forever, destroying the timeline in the process. John has tried to kill all of Jack's friends at least twice to have him all to himself. He found Jack's long lost brother and when the brother turned out to be a terrible person with a vendetta against Jack John did everything he could to save Jack. Their relationship is canon but very one-sided most of the time

just this video

[beansprean]

My Familiar’s Ghost part 14

I love Derek and his animevision. Someone pls play super Mario sunshine with him.

Masterpost

(ID in alt and under cut)

1a. Close up of Derek in profile, sans glasses, slams back-first into a concrete wall with force enough to crack the stone into spiderwebbing chunks, grimacing in pain. 1b. Zoom out, Derek is being held up and against the wall by Nandor, who has his fists balled in the collar of his shirt. Eyes wide and snarling in rage an inch from Derek’s face, Nandor yells “Where is Guillermo?!” Derek stares back in anxious fear and holds onto his arms, anime tee stretched up to expose his stomach. 1c. Close up of Derek from the front, pinned to the cracked wall by Nandor’s fists in his shirt, one hand gripping Nandor’s forearm and the other waving in what he hopes is a calming manner. Looking nervously up and away, Derek responds, “Okay, okay! Man, chill out! I didn’t do anything! I mean I did, but like, nothing he didn’t ask for… What was I gonna do, say no to a guy who smells like that? I-“ 1d. Shot from over Derek’s shoulder, showing Nandor as a shadowy silhouette with burning white eyes, shaking with anger as he looms increasingly menacingly over Derek. Derek squints past Nandor to Colin standing behind him, who is shaking his head with wide eyes and waving his hand under his chin in a “cut it out” gesture. Comprehending, Derek changes course: “Uh, okay. Here’s what happened.”

2a. A big thought bubble from Derek starts off in a 90s shoujo anime style, showing a demure Guillermo opening his collar down to his chest and baring his throat, long eyelashes casting shadows on his cheeks and surrounded by sparkles and shoujo bubbles. 2b. A serious and suave anime Derek caresses Guillermo’s throat with his fingers, and Guillermo obediently bends his neck back for easier access. 2c. A close up on anime Derek’s mouth as he bares his fangs, ready to strike. Voiceover from present Derek reads: “We came back here, and he asked me to bite him…and then…” 2d. Back to regular drawing style, shot over Derek’s shoulder as he sinks his fangs into Guillermo’s neck. Immediately, there erupts a high pressure spout of blood shooting directly into the air. Guillermo’s eyes snap open wide. 2e. Derek pulls back, chin covered in blood, panicking and trying to cover Guillermo’s actively squirting wound with his hand as he shrieks “Oh G- oh, shit! What did I-“ Frustrated and angry, Guillermo snaps, “You hit an artery, you idiot!” Derek: “What do I do?! Oh fuck, you’re gonna die!” 2f. Guillermo: “Derek, you’re a vampire! That’s what-“ Derek: “Oh, right .” Guillermo sighs and grabs the back of Derek’s head, shoving his face back to his throat to stem the flow as saying “Oh, for! Put your mouth- just drink!” 2g. The flashback picks up again a little later, a sickly-looking Guillermo leaning against the wall of the storage unit drinking Derek’s blood from a plastic water bottle. His entire left side is coated in blood, as is the rear corner of the storage unit and Derek’s chin and front. Derek is standing by his coffin and gesturing to it awkwardly. Present Derek’s voiceover continues: “The transformation takes a while, I guess, so I offered my coffin for him to use. But I guess he had a place in mind already.” 2h. Reverse shot of Guillermo, looking very gray, as he stares incredulously at Derek and says, “I’m gonna go die somewhere…cleaner. In the foreground, Derek responds, “Ouch, dude.” The flashback ends.

3a. Back in the present, shot from behind Nandor as he lets Derek go, hair hiding his face as he shakes all over. Derek lifts one hand in a shrug and says “I assumed he went home, but… I guess not? I’m sure he’s fine, though, he never answers my texts anyway! Probably out there vamping it up!” 3b. Zoom out at the same angle, Nandor having turned on his heel and walked away, brushing past Colin and the viewer with a flap of his cloak. Colin turns to watch him stalk off with a concerned expression. Derek, generally incapable of reading a room, waves after him and calls out “Oh, uh, when you find Guillermo, let him know I have a switch now!” 3c. Zoom out further, beyond the storage unit, as Colin follows after Nandor without a word, leaving Derek standing alone in front of a severely cracked wall, hand still lifted hesitantly in a wave. Frowning, he trails off “If he ever…wants to play…” /end ID

[mothguillotine]

Is There A Vampire Dentist?

CW: smut at the beginning, slight dub-con but idk if it really counts, just wanna be safe

The dinner with your parents had shaken you up. You know that they could never force you away from Staten Island (due to your strength), but they will definitely try. Them showing up and ruining your new relationships is a likelihood. You have no idea how Nandor, Laszlo, or Nadja would react to your parents' overall shittyness. 

Unfortunately, the vampires noticed the change as soon as you came back home. Guillermo had promised not to tell anyone what had happened that night, even though he encouraged you to tell Nandor. You knew Guillermo wouldn't judge you. After being alive for centuries, vampire standards are really high, and the idea that they could think less of you because of it was probable. 

Nandor had been the first to notice, and then when he told the others they came to the same conclusion, you must miss some of your things. After you were attacked, you never went back to your dorm to get anything. It wasn't like the vampires were lacking in the cash department, so they just bought you things.

The things they bought you just weren't enough, though. You needed your things, not just new everything. So the vampires sent Guillermo to get your things. After asking Oscar where you used to live, he heads over to the university you stayed at. When he gets to your dorm room, he knocks on the door and is greeted by a tall ginger woman, Ness. When Guillermo talked to Oscar earlier, he had warned him about her. You did NOT like Ness. That wasn't unknown information to Guillermo, but why you didn't, he did not know. 

“What?” she asks.

“I'm here for your roommates stuff,” Guillermo explains, “she isn't coming back and-,” 

“I don't care,” she says, moving out of the doorway for Guillermo.

“Okay.” Guillermo says, going in the room with trunks. When he enters, he sees another woman in the room sitting on presumably your old bed. 

“Kelsey, get off the bed,” Ness tells her, “he's getting her shit out of here.”

“Whatever,” Kelsey says and gets down.

Guillermo quickly shoves your drawers of clothes into the trunks. He then removes all of your desk supplies and grabs your laptop. After that, he grabs your clothes and shoes out of the closet, as well as your make-up and hair stuff. 

Finally, he grabs your bedding and blankets. Luckily, no further was in your room that wasn't university property, so he was done. Then he drags the trucks out in the hallway, and then he goes in to double-check he got everything. When he confirms he is done, he turns to leave and sees Kelsey and Ness looking way more than friendly.

“You slept with your girlfriend's roommate?” Guillermo asks Kelsey.

“Ex-girlfriend.” Kelsey says, “Anyways why the hell does it matter to you? You are just picking up her shit.”

“Well she's my friend, and both of you don't deserve her.” he tells them and leaves without another word.

_________________________________________

Back at home, you are sleeping in front of a fire. The night prior, Nandor (probably Guillermo actually) had set up a spread of furs and candles around the fireplace in your room. The gesture had really touched you, and so did he. You both had been occupied all evening, and after everything, you had fallen asleep in the arms of your lover.

That day, you slept exceptionally well, and so did Nandor, who had woken up a bit ago and was observing you as you slept. Every day that you spent together had made him more and more sure that you were it for him. The night before had proven that Nandor was falling fast. 

He was disappointed that he had to leave you for a whole weekend but he also knew that it was probably a good idea to spend a few days apart, at least that is what you told him. Which at first made him upset until you explained that ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’.

Nandor knew he had to leave soon to meet Sean and Laszlo at the car, but first, he wanted to have you. The night before, you both had fallen asleep without getting dressed, so he simply moves the fur that was draped on you. For a second, he is worried he woke you up when he sees you move, but when you stop, he continues on his path between your legs. 

He starts with small licks directly on your clit to which he watches your reaction. When you don't move he presses harder to which you moan in your sleep. Nandor continues to pick up the pace until you wake up.

“Fuck,” you say, grabbing his hair. Nandor moans on you when you pull at his hair ever so slightly. You can feel yourself starting to get closer to your orgasm.

“Nandor!” you moan loudly, “I'm- fuck, I'm so close.” He then switches to sucking on your clit which makes you spiral over the edge. You pull Nandor up to kiss you as soon as you are done and you taste yourself on his tongue. 

“Are you ready?” Nandor asks you.

“Yeah,” you tell him, and he moves to enter you.

He goes slower than normal due to the lack of warming up, and when he is about halfway in, he stops.

“Are you okay?” he asks you.

“Yes, Nandor, I promise.” you tell him, “Just fuck me already.”

After a bit he is fully in you, he brings his lips down to your neck. While his hickeys won't last long it doesn't stop him from trying, leaving your neck full of them for the next few hours. When Nandor is happy with the amount of hickeys on your neck he finally moves. One of your hands moves to grab his bicep. Nandor continues to pound into you and both of you are moaning a lot. 

Suddenly there is a knock at the door.

“Hurry up old chap you are gonna be late.” you hear Laszlo yell.

“Go away Laszlo!” Nandor yells at the door and goes back to the matter at hand.

“Fuck,” you say, “I'm gonna come again.”

He feels you tighten around him and knows that you are right so he moves one of his hands to your clit. To which you are immediately coming around him. This makes Nandor in turn also come and you feel him inside you. When he pulls out his cum spills out of you. He falls down next to you on the pelts of fur. 

“Good morning,” you tell him smiling, “What did I do to deserve being woken up like that?” 

“Did you not enjoy it?” Nandor asks you.

“Oh no.” you tell him, “Quite the opposite, my love.”

“Good,” Nandor says and moves to kiss you again to which you let him.

“Babe you have to go or you are gonna be late.” you tell him when you pull apart. He instead goes to kiss you again and this time you move away.

“Nandor,” you tell him, giving him a raise of your eyebrow, “Laszlo is waiting for you.”

“I don't want to go to Sean's cabin,” he tells you, “I want to stay here and be with you.”

“Nandor, you have to go babe.” you tell him.

“Do I have to?” he asks, looking at you batting his eyelashes at you. To which you push his face back and stand up off the furs.

“Come on, they are all waiting for you,” and offer him your hand to stand up. 

“If I knew any better I would say you are trying to get rid of me,” he says and takes your hand and stands up.

“Good thing you do know better,” you tell him and kiss him, “I will be here as soon as you are back on Sunday. Me and Nadja just planned on staying in and watching mamma mia.”

“Okay,” he says, giving up arguing with you.

_________________________________________

Both of you get dressed and head downstairs where Laszlo is waiting. Nadja and Guillermo are arguing in the corner while Colin is standing with many bags and camping equipment next to Laszlo. There also are a few trunks in the foyer which makes the space almost nonexistent. 

“What are all these?” you ask confused.

“Surprise!” Nadja shouts, “We got your things.”

“My things?” you ask.

“Yes, from your university.” Laszlo says.

“Thank you guys, so much,” you tell them, “I thought I was never gonna get it back.”

“Of course we did,” Nadja tells you, “this is your home now.”

Nadja moves to hug you and when you do you also feel everyone else join. You all stand there until Colin joins in and Lazlo breaks off.

“Nandor, we have to go.” Laszlo says.

“Yes, yes.” Nandor says and turns to face you, “I will miss you.” 

“I'll miss you too,” you tell him, moving to kiss him gently, “I lo- I hope you have a good trip.”

“I hope you have a good weekend as well, my love,” Nandor says, “Good bye.” 

“Bye,” you tell him, and he leaves.

_________________________________________

The first night was easy, you and Nadja got drunk on many cocktails she called ‘Throat Juice’. Mamma Mia and Mamma Mia 2: Here We Go Again are played at some point in the night as well. By the end of the night both you and Nadja are laughing so hard that you are tearing up, until Guillermo tells you both its time for bed.

“Come on,” Guillermo tells you both, “You both should have been asleep an hour ago. The sun is coming up soon and-” 

You and Nadja start to laugh again uncontrollably. Guillermo looks completely done with the both of you at this point. 

“We wanna stay upppp!” you tell him, “We just won't sleep! No sleep!”

“No sleep! No sleep! No sleep!” you both start chanting. 

“You both have to go to sleep.” Guillermo says seriously, “If Nandor and Laszlo came back to both of you burned to a crisp because you didn't want to sleep they would probably kill me.”

“Okay fine,” you say, “I don't want you to die or anything.”

Nadja makes a noise that seems like she disagrees and you elbow her.

“Okay,” Guillermo says, opening the door, “Here is your room, go to bed.”

“Okay,” you say sadly, “Good night Nadja!”

“Good night! Sleep well!” she shouts from down the hall with Guillermo ushering her downstairs.

_________________________________________

When you wake up you feel nasty and take a bath. The tub is filled to the brim with bubbles and is lavender scented. It's also very hot. You start by washing your hair and then your body. You take a mental note to have Nandor join you in the bath when he returns.

The peacefulness in the bathroom is quickly finished when Nadja knocks on the door.

“Do you want to go hunt down at the bars?” Nadja asks you through the door.

“Yeah!” you yell back, “Give me like 30 minutes!”

“Okay!” Nadja yells.

So you hurry up and finish up. You dress yourself in dark clothing so that way the shadows will hide you and the blood doesn't stain as bad. When you are all ready to go, you meet Nadja downstairs. 

_________________________________________

Saturday night was not unusual. Both of you had drained a few drunks outside of a bar downtown and, in doing so, had felt the effects. You both were at the very least tipsy.

As the night drew on, Nadja and you returned home to watch some movies, and when the hours passed, Guillermo got you both ready for bed. The next morning you wake up and get ready for the day excited that Nandor is coming home today. You brush your hair and your teeth. While you do so you can't help but wonder, do vampires go to the dentist?

_________________________________________

“Yeah, I'm really excited about Nandor coming home soon.” you tell the camera, “It feels like he's been gone forever, even though I know it's only been a few days. I just really miss him and-” 

You are cut off by loud pounding at the door. The knocks startle you. They are loud and echo throughout the house. You stand from the sofa and take off your mic. When you get to the foyer, the knocks happen again, which causes Guillermo to come down the stairs and Nadja from down the hall.

“Who is it?” Guillermo asks.

“I don't know.” You tell him.

“Gizmo, go open the door.” Nadja says, and then it happens again. This time, though, someone yells your name through the door. 

“We know you are here!” your dad shouts, “Open this door right now!”

“It's my fucking parents.” you whisper, “shit, shit, shit.”

“Why are they here?” Nadja asks you, which causes Guillermo to give you a look as if to say ‘tell her’.

“They want me to leave with them.” You tell her, “The other night I went to see them and they told me they were moving back to Michigan.”

“Where is Mich-e-gan?” she asks you, “Is it far?” 

“Yeah,” you tell her, the pounding continues as well as the shouting, “I don't want to leave but what happens when they call the cops? Because trust me they will.”

“We have to hypnotize them,” Guillermo says.

“No,” you say, “I can't.”

“It's the only option,” he tells you.

“Gizmo is right, my dear.” Nadja says, “They must leave before they draw too much attention to us.”

“I don't know if I can,” you tell Nadja honestly, “I mean they're my parents.”

She pulls you in for a hug and then says, “You have to, my dear.”

“I know,” you say and make your way down the hall to the front door. After taking a moment, you open the door to find your parents standing there.

“We have been standing outside, freezing.” your mom says.

“It is extremely rude not to let us in.” your dad follows with.

“Why are you guys here?” you ask.

“Sweetie, we know you haven't been going to classes or staying at the dorm. You are living here with a bunch of weirdos,” your mom says, “We are just concerned about you, and we think that moving back home with Nani and everyone else. Your cousins miss you so much.”

“I'm not coming back home.” you tell them, “I'm not moving back to Michigan. I'm not going anywhere with you. You guys can't control me anymore.”

“Sweetie, it's not like that.” your mom says.

“Yes, it is. My whole life has always been about what you guys want. You want me to be a perfect student. Done. You want me to move to Staten Island. Done. You want me to go to college here so that way I don't leave you. Done. You want me to be the perfect fucking daughter? Well I tried my hardest and it still wasn't enough for you. I'm done, I'm staying here.”

“You have obviously been brainwashed.” your dad says.

“What is a ‘brainwash’?” a voice says from behind your dad, Nandor.

“Your home!” you say, ignoring your parents for a moment as you run to him and pull him in for a kiss.

“I said I was coming back today.” he tells you, “Who are they?”

“uh, they are my parents.” you tell him.

“Oh, hi, I am her boyfriend, Nandor.” he says happily waving.

“How old is he? Forty?” your mom asks with a disgusted look on her face.

“No, actually, I'm 761,” Nandor says to which you cringe.

“You need to come with us. You aren't safe here.” Your mom says.

“Know if anyone is not safe here, it's you two.” Laszlo says.

“Laszlo, stop.” You tell him, but you go unheard.

“That sounds like a threat.” your dad says.

“Oh no, it's a promise.” Laszlo says.

“Oh I'll have you know that I've been in a few fights with my day, and I can definitely take down a brit.”

“Guys, stop!” you shout.

“I'll have you know I've lived here longer than you have been alive.” Laszlo says.

“STOP!” you shout louder than before stomping your foot down on the concrete path which cracks under the pressure, everyone stops.

“What is going on?” your mom asks.

“Mom, dad, listen to me,” you start and then hold out your hand, “I command you to leave and go to Michigan. You both decided to let me stay here. When people ask about me, you will give them vague answers and tell them that I don't talk to you anymore, I went no-contact.”

“We will do as you please,” they both say and walk down the steps. After they leave, you go back inside and sit down in the library on the sofa. A few moments later, Nandor follows you in and sits next to you. 

You lean over on Nandor, to which he pulls you close. After that, you can't help but let the tears fall as Nandor comforts you. Soon enough, you are sobbing against him.

You both stay like that for a while until Guillermo comes in and gets Nandors' attention.

“What, Guillermo?” he asks, “Can't you see I'm busy?” 

“Nadja and Laszlo have something to cheer her up.” he says, “If she's up for it?”

“Yeah, I could use a distraction.” you tell them both.

“Okay they would like to play a song for you.” he tells you, “They have been practicing for a while.”

“Okay,” you say and a little while later you are all gathered around the piano. The tune that Laszlo plays is familiar but you can't quite put your finger on it until Nadja starts singing.

“Ooh, You can dance. You can jive.

Having the time of your life. Ooh, see that girl. Watch. that scene. Digging the dancing queen,” Nadja starts and you clap along enjoying the song, “Friday night and the lights are low. Looking out for a  place to go  Where they play the right music. Getting in the swing You come to look for a king. Anybody could be that guy. Night is young and the music's high. With a bit of rock music. Everything is fine. You're in the mood for a dance. And when you get the chance,”

Laszlo joins Nador for the chorus, “You are the dancing queen. Young and sweet. Only seventeen. Dancing queen. Feel the beat from the tambourine, oh yeah. You can dance. You can jive. Having the time of your life. Ooh, see that girl. Watch that scene. Digging the dancing queen.”

You know, right then, watching Nandor, Laszlo, Nadja, Guillermo, and even Colin, that you would be okay. You love these crazy vampires and their fierce bodyguard. This is everything you've ever wanted and more. A real family. You smile as Najda and Laszlo finish the song.

“What did you think?” Nadja asks you.

“I love it,” you tell her.

<Previous Part/Next Part>

Masterlist

[deer0skullz]

Does anyone else feel like Umbrella Academy, What We Do in the Shadows and Our Flag Means Death went down very similar paths or is that just me?

To preface, this is mostly based on how I felt as I watched the shows but also on some of the opinions I picked up from the fandoms.

Also, I’m not going to go back and rewatch all of these shows for the sake of a Tumblr post so I’m working from memory and if you feel like I’ve misremembered any of the plot/ characters let me know.

1. Started as well-received and highly acclaimed live-action fantasy shows with ensemble casts.

Based on my own opinions and what I remember from other fans, UA seasons 1-2 were fairly well received, as were WWDITS seasons 1-3/4 and OFMD season 1.

They’re all definitely different genres of fantasy but I’d say they still all fit under the label. And they obviously all have ensemble casts, with the Hargreeves in UA, the vampires (and Guillermo) in WWDITS and the pirates in OFMD. Even though the plots and characters can be quite different they all have similar vibes.

2. Noted for having open queer representation.

Klaus and Viktor in UA, pretty much the entire main cast of WWDITS, and multiple main characters in OFMD.

3. Tied to already established and respected creators.

UA is based on the comics written by Gerard Way who, of course, is also well known for My Chemical Romance. WWDITS is based on the film by Jermaine Clement and Taika Waititi, who are both executive producers of the show. Taika was also involved in OFMD as the actor for Blackbeard and as an executive producer. He has his name tied to many acclaimed films like Hunt for the Wilderpeople, Thor Ragnorok and Jojo Rabbit.

These are obviously not the only famous people tied to these projects but it’s just a sample of the talent involved in these shows. I feel like the fact that there was so much talent working on these shows makes my next point more interesting.

4. Experienced drops in quality and/ or introduced problematic elements that caused fans to lose interest or respect.

Again, this is opinion based and if you still liked the shows during these seasons then more power to you.

My overall feeling about all of these shows is that they lost a lot of the joy from their initial season(s) as they went on. Like, they just got significantly less fun to watch. But they also had more specific individual issues that I would like to get into.

I stopped watching UA during season 3 and don’t plan on watching season 4. I feel like a lot of people will already know what I might be referring to with this but yeah, the scene where Allison *did that* to Luther made me so sick. I feel like that season absolutely destroyed her character, and as I said, it just wasn’t anywhere near as fun as seasons 1 or 2.

WWDITS is probably the most successful of the three in my eyes but I could still apply the same argument about loss of enjoyment. The “Guillermo wants to be a vampire” plot line got very stale for me, especially with how they “resolved” (?) it. Saying “oh he’s a vampire now oh nevermind he doesn’t actually like being a vampire and also can’t be one anyway so everything’s back to normal” felt like such a waste of time for me. I know a lot of people also criticised the show for queerbaiting because of the Nandermo plot lines and teases. I wouldn’t necessarily call it queerbaiting but I would agree that the “will they, won’t they” is very played out at this point. Another big criticism I have of the later seasons is how Marwa was treated. The fact that she had no autonomy and was being forcibly changed mentally and physically to appeal to Nandor was treated as like, a running joke and I just found it kind of disturbing. Dark humour is pretty common throughout the show, but given how often her character appeared it felt a lot more, significant than throwaway jokes about drinking human blood. I feel like they could have done so much better with her character.

OFMD is probably the most egregious example of the 3. Season 2 was just not good. I’m not saying it was the worst thing I’ve ever watched but it was incredibly disappointing. The pacing was off, the characters were off, the dynamics were off. It was all just very off. The huge cliffhanger ending with Evil Blackbeard felt like it was resolved way too quickly and everything else in the season felt equally rushed. A lot of the character dynamics, but especially Ed and Stede, just felt wrong to me. From what I understand there were production issues or something so I’m not saying the writers just woke up one day and decided to be bad at their jobs but I can only really judge a show by what I saw on my screen, and what I saw was so far removed from the quality of season 1.

5. Finished on a sour note.

UA ended after 4 seasons, with the fourth being released on Netflix today. I haven’t seen anything that indicates whether this was the intended endpoint or whether it was cancelled. WWDITS will end after season 6 which comes out in October. Again, I can’t find anything indicating whether this was the intended endpoint. OFMD was cancelled just a few months after the release of season 2 in October 2023.

I can’t tell other fans how they should feel but for me I’m incredibly disappointed that 3 shows I really enjoyed saw a gradual (or not so gradual for OFMD) drop in quality that ultimately culminated in them just… ending.

Like I said, I have no interest in US season 4, but I am still somewhat hopeful for WWDITS. I would be really happy if they could bring it back to what it was.

Conclusion

I don’t know what the point of writing this was other than the fact that I’ve always associated these shows as having the same vibes and I feel like it’s interesting that they have a lot of similarities and went down similar paths. Also I just like yapping.

[cookinguptales]

some feelings about wwdits under a cut, for negativity

WWDITS... I don't know. I don't think I've found the writing entirely fulfilling for a while now. s4 had its problems, but s5 was... let's just say not nearly as funny or cohesive as I would've liked, and the characterization has been... wandering, to put it kindly. Seeing it end now feels a little less like losing my favorite show and a little more like stopping it before things really start to spiral.

I remember someone asked me once post-s3 what (if anything) would make me stop watching the show, and I said Guillermo leaving for good or the characters becoming less supernatural. (i.e. Nandor becoming human for good or something.) I really hate shows where the characters become "normal" as a happy ending, so that's really my nightmare scenario. I'm not exaggerating when I say I think I'd literally rather the characters die than lose the spark that makes them interesting.

Honestly, I feel like that's probably a lot of what's made it hard for me to move forward with writing fic for wwdits after the s5 finale. It felt not only OOC for Guillermo but just... such a boring direction to take it. I feel like there were so many ways they could have made non-vampire Guillermo interesting and IC and they just. did not do that. Instead they ignored a lot of previous canon in order to cancel out an entire season while also trying to make us believe that Guillermo choosing humanity is a happy and fulfilling ending for anyone.

And when you look at characters like Laszlo... like they keep giving him plot lines that go absolutely nowhere. The poignancy of his adventures in fatherhood and his depression over losing his child were basically nowhere to be seen in s5. (I kept expecting them to tie it back to his loss over Baby Colin, like he was making Guillermo his new project because he wasn't coping well with losing his son, but they never really went there.) And then they have him doing all of these experiments in s5 that don't really amount to anything other than making it canon that he can't even remember what happened in s1.

(Or... the writers can't, at least...)

I don't know. When none of the plot lines they write are given weight, it's hard for me to give them weight. If none of the characters' choices matter because they'll just be reset anyway, why do I care about their choices? If entire plot lines are just going to go absolutely nowhere (when they're given endings at all) why should I get invested in them?

They set up a lot of interesting themes about found family, the supernatural world as a haven for those who are queer or otherwise socially othered, etc. and then had Guillermo outright choose the human world and his human family over the found family they'd been setting up for five seasons. Having Guillermo be okay with killing vampires but not humans (which... again, makes no sense with his behavior towards humans in the past, but I digress) basically explicitly tells us that he sees vampire life as lesser than human life and like ????? then how are we supposed to interpret the relationships and themes you've spent all this time building???

When you have Guillermo coming out as being gay and also wanting to be a vampire in the same breath and then have him reject that world, when you give these interviews talking about how making Guillermo and Nandor have [gay] sex would lessen their relationship... I don't know! It almost feels like they can't even keep track of their own themes and really do not care if they shit on the audience that's loyally followed them even through some really questionable writing decisions!

I guess at this point, I only worry that they really do see becoming human and leaving the supernatural world as being a happy ending for all these characters. Are they going to make the other vampires human, too? Are they going to have Guillermo leave for good and choose the human world?

Like it's literally my nightmare scenario. lmao.

I guess I just feel like I've been cutting wwdits a lot of slack because I assumed that the writers were going somewhere really interesting with these seemingly incomprehensible choices, but now that I've realized that they're really just... not great writing choices...

It'll be easier to let go, I guess. I don't have nearly the same emotional connection to this show that I did even six months ago, much less a year and a half ago. If you told me even a year ago that my reaction to my favorite show's cancellation would be "...oh..." I wouldn't have believed you. But. I guess here we are.

I keep trying to make myself feel the same love for this show that I did during the first three, three and a half seasons, and I'm just not sure I can do it. I've been going around in circles over this for months now, but I just feel kind of hollow when I reach for the joy that this show used to inspire in me. And now that I know it's ending soon, I guess my mind is just kind of going "well, I guess it'll all be over with soon, one way or another, and I'll finally be able to choose a way to feel about it all."

I think... honestly, I think the only way I can be happy writing fic going forward is if I write fic that actively ignores a lot of the canon developments. It's literally too fucking difficult to eke out coherent characterization from what they've been putting out lately, and maybe it would feel more fun and less like homework if I just stopped trying.

I really, really hope that the last season of this show is beautiful and gorgeous and funny and makes me remember exactly what I love about it just in time to mourn it forever. I hope that I will happily be able to write fics incorporating every ounce of canon and feel fulfilled by that. But... honestly speaking, at this point I'm just hoping that the last season doesn't actively piss me off. lmao

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[nandermoenthusiast]

HERE I AM I WATCHED THE FINALE

OKAY FIRST OF ALL IT WAS SO FUCKING GOOD AND ACKNOWLEDGED/BROUGHT BACK A LOT OF THINGS I HAD NOT VERY HIGH HOPES FOR

but i gotta be honest, the whole season did. it was fun and genuinely hilarious, while also acknowledging (maybe not doing something with it yet, but we have a whole other season already under go) some plot points like colin dreaming about his childhood with lazlo

THIS FINALE THOUGH

i honestly honestly honestly have to say, i would not have changed a single thing from it. it was INSPIRED. i want to talk about the theme of this season, the vampires are assholes and they will never be nice to each other, but they are a FAMILY and they care about each other so deeply

first of all we have the morrigan manor trap, which i enjoyed so much, and although the season did a great job at building up to this with a hundred little moments in the previous eps, i was still literally shook at seeing the vampires face the music. like wow the guide is really telling them off for how they treat her and guillermo. like, i felt it. and nadja and lazlo are like ok this could have been a conversation but fine heres some footage of us being nice about u behind your back, AND THATS SO LOVELY LIKE - MY DEAR WE ARE FUCKED UP CREATURES OF THE NIGHT WELL NEVER TELL YOU TO YOUR FACE THAT YOURE IMPORTANT TO US

and its like. this season does a lot to put all the previous seasons into perspective. i cant even begin to speak about nandor and his aversion to turning guillermo. like, CHRIST

anyway the moment where nandor finds out was SO fucking delicious i love you mr de laurentiis i am completely in love with you going insane going insane also like ive seen some DISAPPOINTMENT over this finale and im ???? speechless is it that they didnt kiss or fuck? NANDOR KNOWS GUILLERMO BETTER THAN HE KNOWS HIMSELF HE KNEW HE COULDNT BEAR KILLING HE KNEW HE WASNT READY AND WANNA BET HE ALSO KEPT HIS DISTANCE ALL THESE YEARS BECAUSE HE KNEW THAT WOULD ADD TO GUILLERMO WANTING TO BE WITH HIM FOREVER BUT HES TOO CODEPENDENT TO LET HIM GO WHAT!!! THIS SHIT IS DELICIOUS

LET THEM COOK

but where was i ah yes nandor finding out nandor staking out panera bread and talking to some rando about guillermo and nandor going to his mothers (vampire killer! so its like dangerous for him lbr) place once he found it within himself to let go of the humiliation and prioritize his feelings for guillermo. let that sink in. he didnt want to find him not really. otherwise he would have threatened his mom weeks ago. nandor actually forgiving guillermo and its just like that. because he loves him too much. nandor doing the gayest most romantically and sexually charged shit in the world to prove to guillermo he actually has forgiven him. nandor bringing guillermo home. and saying he will be living with us AS AN EQUAL

nandor bringing him blood. and while we are on this topic, NANDOR WHO HAS THE IQ OF A RUSSIAN TOILET KNEW RIGHT AWAY WHAT GUILLERMOS PROBLEM WITH HIS TURNING WAS AND HOW TO FIX IT. AND HE DID. IMMEDIATELY. WHILE LAZLO STRUGGLED FOR WEEKS. NANDOR KNEW INSTANTLY. this episode had such biiig caretaker nandor energy and i fucking gobble that shit up. he pays so much attention to guillermo and he is so warm and loving to him whenever hes not catching himself…… i think im gonna go cry

nandor looking at guillermo with barely repressed lust as guillermo shows off his new vampiric powers and is taken by a frenzy to just go and do some shit. nandor lurking in the shadows listening to guillermos confession about not being able to kill, and looking so broken up about it, and wanting to fix things immediately for guillermo (but he cant, and btw im glad they brought back the lamp even if it was just to say you dumbass, you are out of wishes, like maybe that was a disappointment to some people but im sort of glad they made nandor use up all his wishes because the whole ceremony bit was sooooooooooooo thoughtful and soooo warm on nandors part). he went and staged the whole place and orchestrated the whole thing just so guillermo could speak from the heart and say he made a mistake. that is insanely loving of him

and btw idk anything about the lore of vampiric lineage BUT! tbh i do think this is such a cool loophole. like when guillermo reverted, time for his human form had passed. which means if any vampire who has lived, idk, more than 130 years had the same thing happen to them, they would obviously turn to dust. of course they would die! but guillermo had this happen only a few months ago so hes good! and the vampirism is reverted! and he has the time and knowledge now to think long and hard if he still wants it

to be honest (not to be a blorke about nandermo) i do believe that nandor and guillermo will get into it next season and the subsequent conflict will be that guillermo cannot be a vampire so he will age and die one day, but i think since nandor is so caring and “acts of service” in this last episode, maybe the solution they find is they decide nandor will turn guillermo eventually, and then bring him blood without guillermo having to hunt and kill (he could also like rob blood banks or drink from people without draining them)

anyway how cool is it that guillermo turned out to be so similar to louis (interview with the vampire, the very movie that got him to want to be a vampire), with the same conflict, except he did get a do over thanks to nandor ❤️

one last thing before i go that i didnt mention NANDOR TYING GUILLERMOS CAPE SO LOVINGLY AND WITH SUCH ATTENTION WITH SUCH REVERENCE GOD I KNOW WE’RE IN FOR A TREAT NEXT SEASON. AND NANDOR FUCKING STAKING DEREK. DO YOU WANT ME TO DO IT. I DONT KNOW. I DO *STAKE *. LIKE WHAT. THAT WAS SO INSANELY HOT TO ME GOODBYE FOREVER AND SORRY FOR THE LONGASS POST

[turdle]

Just finished the new season of WWDITS and it was so much fun as always but oh my god THOSE LAST TWO EPISODES. Well the end of penultimate episode and the last episode to be specific. Okay so in bullet list form:

-I got CHILLS when the Guide let slip about Guillermo ‘taking matters into his own hands’ about becoming a vampire. I actually gasped. And the fact that Nandor, known for being the dumbest fuck of the group, IMMEDIATELY picked up on that and refused to let everyone else change the subject.

-The ACTING of Guillermo deciding to actually just tell Nandor outright what happened, and then Nandor’s reaction to this?? Holy shit forgot I was watching a silly comedy for a hot sec.

-Look I’m just gonna say it, Nandor’s heartbroken rage at this news? HOT. The way he fucking GROWLED ‘it is relevant to me’ when Guillermo insisted it wasn’t relevant who had turned him? And then the way Nandor roared his name whilst gripping the silver bars despite it burning him when Guillermo flew away??

😮‍💨 PHEW!

-I laughed so hard that it was fucking NANDOR the doorknob who was the the one to IMMEDIATELY figure out that it’s the Van Helsing blood keeping Guillermo from being a full vampire? Lazlo’s ‘you live and learn!’ sent me that was so great

-I also gasped when Nandor answered the phone instead of Guillermo’s mama. Like obviously he wasn’t gonna kill Guillermo or his mum but the TENSION? And the way Guillermo immediately went to him because he loves his mummyyy.

-Talking about tension, that scene with Nandor holding Guillermo’s stake to his own neck? Ooof

-And I just loved the whole faux ceremony thing to get Guillermo to realise for himself that he isn’t ready to be a vampire.

Anyway other stuff:

- Lazlo’s development this season? He was so SOFT? Especially in the last episode; like the relationship between him and Guillermo was so nice?? The look on his face directed at the camera after Nandor kills Derek for Guillermo? The way he helped Guillermo save Derek, I did not see that coming. And the little speech he was gonna say to Guillermo (before he got distracted by porn lmao) about knowing him since he was young? He is such a great character I love himmm

- I loved the Guide getting to say her piece whilst being fucking hilarious. The whole Agatha christie vibes of the penultimate episode was so great. ‘Oh fuck it they don’t all have to be clever’ whilst doing away with the pretence and just sending Colin down to a cage was SO funny.

- The Baron being scary again for 5 minutes was great loved that, and loved that it ended with him being like yeah you know what I’m soft too now this was an overreaction my bad.

All in all so much fun and the last two episodes just had me on the edge of my fucking SEAT.

[arthur-lesters-balls]

anyways. just finished s5 and i loved the finale. i really think it was great, i always appreciate when a tv show spends a whole season working on a theme and then closes said season by making a big summary of it, in this case, the found family thing.

but the main point to me is the expansion of guillermos relationship with nandor (not necessarily in a romantic sense). we've seen him standing up for guillermo when he was at risk or made some mistake multiple times, including in this season, but this was the first time guillermo offended him personally and severely, and the way it was handled was really satisfying to me.

i saw some people saying they wished the show would make the characters face consequences for what they've done and unless this is about nandor in s4, i dont really agree with it, especially if its about guillermo. first of all, i cant even understand what kind of consequence he should face. he did nothing wrong in the first place, he didnt know about the whole "it must be the master to turn the familiar rule", he just took the matter into his own hands after a decade of waiting. and also, he did face consequences????? he suffered these whole 10 episodes going through experiments, lying to people he loves, feeling lonely etc????? and not only that but he also will face consequences in the future, because now the fact that he doesnt really wanna become a vampire is undeniable. that was his main objective all this time, it went as far as being a childhood dream and now he has zero goals, no clear next step. he cant even follow the vampire killer path fully. im really curious to see what theyll do to his character now that such fundamental part of him changed completely.

[megaawkwardhuman]

OK SO I wrote most of this starting at 2 am and stopping at like 3 also 4 am after listening to numbers by temporex for the fifth time (I was inspired by the overall vibe of the song link to the song if you wanna check it out) and originally it was going to be small bummer fic written only for myself where Guillermo did get turned by Derek and he goes back but nothing changes around him but I got a little too carried away so now it’s about (roughly) that and Nandor wishing for Guillermo to return after he left and didn’t return after becoming a vampire.

disclaimer: I'm currently clinging onto a free grammarly account for dear life and I tried my best to edit the nonsense I wrote instead of sleeping so if at any point this sounds weird I apologize! 

and with all of that out of the way I now give you Just Alright:

Guillermo sat in the same old bed he’s been sleeping in for over a decade. He thought when Derek turned him things would change but no not much changed when it came to the way he was treated. Things did change overall sure he was gone for weeks before returning to the mansion but in a way they haven’t. What it all boiled down to was the fact that nobody really noticed the change. Normally Guillermo chalked it up to them being assholes but the reason they didn’t care or notice this time around was due to the fact that they had gotten themselves busy while he was gone.

Laszlo tried to go back to his old ways but after the loss of baby Colin he found himself going over to sean’s place to distance himself from the energy vampire he help raise. Whenever anyone asks him about it he brushes him off. Due to him being away from the house most of the time, he didn’t even know Guillermo was back let alone now a vampire for a while.

Colin Robinson still doesn’t remember being a freak child at all and so he went back into looking into energy vampires just now without the help of Laszlo. He tried to get Laszlo’s help at first but after a couple of fuck offs he gave up. He still treated Guillermo the way he did before mainly to annoy him. 

Nadja had a lot on her plate. At first, it was having to deal with what to do now that the nightclub dream was basically dead then it was getting to the council building back to the way it was before to trying to get Laszlo to stop hiding away in the neighbor's house and actually getting him to sit down and talk about how he was feeling. With all of that, she didn’t seem to care he was a vampire now. I mean it was understandable she was doing a lot but she still treated him like a familiar. He wasn’t even her familiar to begin with yet he was still left to do all the hard labor for her. After some protesting and reminding her that he’s an equal now for the tenth time she got a familiar to do her bidding instead.

The only one who cared at all about the change was his ex-master Nandor. As for why well that’s a really long story. Let’s just say he’s the reason why he ended up back there.

Guillermo thought about going back at first. It was his original plan but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He knew he would have to eventually to get his stuff back but he wanted to fend for himself. He knew he could go out on his own he didn’t need any big strong vampires to fight for him he was Guillermo: by blood a vampire killer, an ex-familiar, an ex-bodyguard, and now a vampire. He knew how to kill he could live alone and they wouldn’t care if he was gone. If they did someone would have found him by now and begged him to come back.

But in the blink of an eye after a couple of weeks of trying to live on is own only to crash at Derek’s place half of the time to just living with Derek (Derek needed a friend anyway), he found himself face to face with the entrance of the place he wasted over a decade of his life in. He doesn’t remember walking back just suddenly being at the door.

“What the fuck why am I back here?” he asked himself. He tried to turn back but he couldn’t. No like he physically couldn’t turn back. Despite not wanting to be there he knocked the door. 

“Come in the door is open.” He heard a voice he really didn’t want to hear say. He could also hear a few footsteps on the other side along with a few small sniffles thanks to vampire hearing. He opened the door and got a few steps in before getting tackled into a hug by Nandor. Guillermo was not only surprised but still had no idea what on earth was happening.

“What the fuck is going on?” Guillermo says extremely confused. He looked around over the vampire’s shoulder as Nandor cried into his. As he was searching he found the Djinn standing there with his notebook and pen not too far from them. Well, that explains it. Guillermo didn’t have time to be upset yet since he has to deal with the sobbing vampire hugging him.

Wait Nandor was hugging him willingly? Guillermo tried his best to pinch himself. ��Ow.” well he wasn’t dreaming so yeah he WAS hugging him and he was hugging him REALLY tightly. If he was still human this would have most likely killed him either due to suffocation or Nandor accidentally breaking something really important. 

“Oh, Guillermo where have you been? I was so worried about you I- I missed you so much.” as he talked he cried harder and harder. Guillermo was honestly surprised to see him in such a state. He can’t recall seeing him express his emotions or saying how he felt ever let alone see him cry this hard. He was HUGGING HIM for fuck’s sake. 

“Master I like this and all but this is starting to hurt a lot” he knew he didn’t need to call him that but he still did out of habit. Plus he didn’t know if calling him Nandor would piss him off so it was better to be safe for now.

“I just missed you so much and if I hug you tight enough you won’t be able to leave again.”

Guillermo would be lying if he said that didn’t make him feel at least a little bit like shit. But in his defense, he thought Nandor would be too busy reading his books or whatever to notice his absence. Sure he wouldn’t be gone forever since he has all eternity to go back to the house to say hi or to bump into Nandor while out hunting and small talk about his times as his familiar. He didn’t expect Nandor to actually be hurt by this. He knew he should have known better but he did what he did anyway without taking Nandor actually noticing into consideration.

“You didn’t even leave a note. I thought you were out on one of your silly human errands, but when you didn’t return I thought you were hurt or dead.”

“Well, I’m here now.”

“And that’s all that matters.” Nandor slowly let go of the hug.

Guillermo wanted to say his goodbyes and get out as fast as he can but he knew he would feel like shit if he left knowing it would hurt Nandor this much he made his way inside. 

After Nandor calmed down a bit they ended up walking to Nandor’s room to talk. Looking around his room and the house overall while thankfully repaired the house was still a mess. Bodies were all over the place, candles melted all the way down leaving puddles of wax, and every other surface was dusty. It reminded him of when he first returned to the house after trying to leave this life behind for the first time. 

When he entered Nandor’s room it was messier than the rest of the house but considering the state he was in when he entered Guillermo could make an educated guess as to why so he knew he couldn’t judge.

“Sorry for the mess. When I noticed you were gone for longer than usual at first I tried to ignore it but I just couldn’t. I tore this room apart trying to see if you hid a letter or anything that would tell me where you went. It was honestly stupid of me to think you would hide something like that since you didn’t hide the letter you left behind last time.”

“I really should have told you why I left before…” should he tell the truth?

“Before what?” he looked at him confused then he saw his fangs. “Oh…”

“I paid Derek to turn me.” 

Silence so thick you could feel it fill the room. It was Nandor who broke it with tears slowly running down his face again as he spoke.

 “Why?”

“Look I know you view vampirism as a curse and I knew you didn’t want to turn me because of that and I know you’re not the biggest fan of change so by turning this way you wouldn’t have to-”

“Why did you not come back?” 

Nandor’s words felt like a stake to the heart. Guillermo didn’t know how to respond so he froze. Any word he could think of saying vanished like he did weeks before abruptly and without saying goodbye. If he didn’t feel like shit before he felt like the worst person on planet earth now.

“Master I-”

“DON’T YOU DARE CALL ME THAT!” 

“LOOK I’M SORRY OK!?”

“You think that’s going to make up for you abandoning me!?”

“I didn’t plan to stay away I was going to come back.”

“When Guillermo fucking when?”

Silence flooded the room again. This time It was Guillermo who ended it.

“Nandor look I’m so fucking sorry I didn’t intend to leave permanently I was going to come back and change everything for the better but couldn’t bring myself to go back I… I’m so sorry. If I knew I would be out for as long as I have I would have said goodbye.” In the middle of his sentence, Guillermo caught Nandor’s tears and began to cry too. “If I were you I wouldn’t forgive me.” 

Nandor went up to him and cupped his right cheek with his hand wiping away a tear. “Oh my sweet sweet Guillermo I knew you wanted it so bad but I didn’t turn you not because being a vampire is a curse. I didn’t turn you cause then you would have left. I know once you were one you would have no purpose here anymore. it was selfish sure but fuck I just couldn’t stand the thought of you leaving and I thought if I kept you busy you wouldn’t leave. Making excuses to keep you as a human, promoting you to bodyguard when your life was at risk, making turning you into a long trip all of it was to keep you by my side for as long as I can. When you were shipped off to England by Laszlo and I ended up traveling alone I was left to think about why I did this. Why I wanted you to stay for so long and when I realized why I didn’t want to think about it. So when we all came back as I was helping you out after you fell into the water filled basement I used finding someone to marry to cover up what I found out” it clicked in Guillermo’s head what he was getting at but he let him continue. “I was hoping every day that you would stop me from going through with the wedding, I made every task hard in hopes it would stop you and, when everyone was objecting I was hoping you would be in that line. I wanted you to stop me causes…I love you Guillermo so so much. I just couldn’t bring myself to fully accept it until you left.” 

Guillermo nuzzled into Nandor’s hand as he began to cry harder “I love you too.”

Nandor pulled him into a kiss.

They could get angry at each other for what they had done another time. For now, all they wanted to do was hug and be glad that they could express how they feel for hopefully not the last time.

And it wasn’t time flew by and they slowly vented out their feelings to each other. They had their scheduled yelling match about what they had both done to each other once all the tears were fully over a few days later. But what had started as them fighting with their tongues figuratively turned into fighting with their tongues literally. Needless to say, they forgave each other quickly after that. As for what they were now they settled on boyfriends. it felt weird at first to say but after a while, the word felt great coming out of their mouths.

Not much has changed really looking back as he sat on his old bed. Laszlo was still horny, Colin was still annoying and Nadja would kill him if he boiled her down into one word even if it was just in his head. But as he sees Nandor take a box of his stuff up to their new room he's glad he at least made one change. Considering he has all eternity to help the others for now he’ll take this as a win. 

“Guillermo, what are you doing?”

“Oh just thinking that’s all.” 

“You know I was doing some thinking too and I was thinking maybe I can give you my last wish.”

“How thought full.” he gave him a peck on the cheek. “You know I think I already know what I’m going to wish for.”

“May I ask what that wish might be?”

“A coffin big and wide enough for the two of us,” Guillermo said with the biggest grin on his face.

[youaremysunshine-court]

Tldr; the wwdits writers know a thing or two about depression and being tired of life, nandor is a prime example, allow them to bring about his character arc in a natural way

Nandor's 'I'm whispering bc I care about marwa and don't want her to know I'm about to replace her' gives me hope and much food for thought. Excuse the rambling because I'm fleshing this thought out as i go.

Because he's just self aware enough to know when his actions are making people sad. It means that he knows when he's doing/ done something wrong, and actually, I was super mad about this episode be guillermo and marwa and freddie deserved better, but now that I'm thinking more clearly, the writers have been leading up to this.

Everytime nandor does something wrong, he does notice. A lot of it is stupid dumb shit like getting locked in a cage at the rescue shelter. But when he pushed guillermo off the balcony during their fight, he has a millisecond of hesitation before he says OOPSIES. Likewise, when he's discussing the freddie fiasco, he considers for a moment that he's doing something wrong, then very deliberately glosses over it like it's nothing. (For more, see nadja figuring out he pillaged her village, leaving benjy alone and hypnotised, turning Gail without her consent, etc)

I believe the reason for this is a very specific turn the writers want to take with nandor as a character. It's a fact that nandor hasn't been happy for a long time, but this fact only becomes evident from the latter half of season 2 onwards. This is also when he starts fucking up more, and instead of taking responsibility the way he did with Sean and the brain scramblies, he starts to write things off like they don't really matter.

Had the vampires not stated clearly that he was going through vampire depression, it would have been evident from the way he just... stopped caring about everything and everyone. Compounded by guillermos apparent betrayal in 3×10, I believe he just kept sinking into these feelings, until he became the nandor we see in s4.

I know in a previous post i said they'd just made him into an asshole incel (which btw I do still think), I believe its a mask for the terrible depression he's going through. He's a lonely lonely vampire who wishes he could be human, who wants a lifeline so badly he'll cling to one made of gum and feathers at this point, and he's been in this despairing state for a while.

First, he clutched onto guillermo, thinking if he made him a vampire then they'd be happy. Then, he decided a wife would fix him. But she didn't, so he thought she needed to be changed. All this while he's struggling both with depression and buried feelings for guillermo. Which means when guillermo and freddie show up, happy and gay, he is intensely envious and immediately latches on to "what he's been missing".

Freddie. Freddie is the stand in for everything nandor wants but can't have. A human, slightly nerdy boyfriend, who dresses like the pits of fashion and knows enough about nandors niche interests to be interesting. He's the "perfect fix". Until he isn't.

This episode made a lot of people, including me, very very angry. But I think we need to look past this to what nandors really struggling with and allow the writers to let him grow without praising them for some episodes and cursing them for other, heartbreaking but necessary ones.

Honestly I'm pissed about the ending they forced on marwa, because yes she deserved to stab him at least once. But once again, I think that last shot of them together just highlights how far gone nandor is. She looks miserable, because he IS miserable. Marwa doesn't like him because he doesn't like himself. Marwa doesn't like living because nandor doesn't like living.

Sure, he smiles and laughs with freddie, but he's uncomfortable not knowing human jokes. Even the second time around he looks deeply unhappy when he's laughing at the roomba joke. He wants to be a part of this little clique humans have SO SO badly, but at the end of the day he is other.

And finally, that shot at the end where nandor cries after leaving freddie on the train. Is he grieving leaving freddie or is he grieving the travels he could have had with guillermo? Is he really crying or just scrunching up his face for the cameras? It all comes down to the original question: does he care? And the answer is, no, not anymore, not for a long time.

In conclusion, this has been long and rambling, but I can't wait to see how far he has to fall before he hits rock bottom, or if this is perhaps rock bottom. At that point I would like to see if he wishes to become human, or wishes that he'd always be happy. Or, my favourite option, I would like to see who the writers bring in as the person who shows him how to heal himself. Either way, the writers have brought the show this far without ruining it, and I trust them with this episode and the bigger picture, and I can only hope that they follow through on that.

[theblondehexgirl]

nobody cares but like. idk i’m not having fun in the tag at ALL the past week or whenever the leaks came out. everybody has a right to be angry and i absolutely am not giving those two writers any grace for how they wrapped up marwa’s storyline. but i guess i’m just frustrated that the things i love/seek out for escapism get tainted by real world things like racism & misogyny bcs of certain storyline implications (and obviously racism and misogyny exist in universe, but it was never something one has to actively think about in the context of the show.) and idk, it makes me feel fatigued and defeated bcs as a person of color i can’t just put the thinkpieces down and go back to living a life of white privilege, you know? this rant is going nowhere basically i’m just bummed that i have to think abt shitty things that affect me in the context of a show i rly love

[beansprean]

stumbled across your wwdits art—so cute! it also reminded me that sylvia de la cruz is also a vampire hunter by blood. in fact, iirc not only is the entire family, but none of them have...told guillermo?? (aside from at the dinner w nadja, but she hypnotized them to forget that.) and we know sylvia knows nandor's a vampire because she did try to stake him at the end there—though notably not until after guillermo pulled one out! which brings me to the funniest possible conclusion, which is that she took one look at nandor, felt los goosebumps, took a second look, saw his big bleeding heart, and went "we'll have to work on my son's taste in men but i'll let him have this. hi nandor not-a-vampire, wanna see baby photos?"

anyways. i really do wonder why no one's ever told guillermo about the old ancestral vampire hunting. did they just see him full iwtv at halloween age 10 and call an emergency meeting like "the first person to say something before he grows out of it gets staked" and then he never grew out of it.

LOL I mean it was kinda vague with how much la familia consciously KNEW - only abuela specifically said anything before they all went feral and seemed to know what los goosebumps meant - Miguel and his mom were both very confused by their physical reactions. i think abuela does call Nadja "chupasangre" (bloodsucker) but everyone else sticks to "demonio," "monstruo," "maldita" over and over like they're hypnotized, and only jump into action after abuela stands up and says smth like "monstruo debe de morir" (monster must die). There does seem to be a bit of a delay in their reaction as well, as they were dining with Nadja for at least like 20 mins before snapping, and Silvia didn't react to Nandor for probably like....hmmm. If Guillermo was bat-flying from Staten Island to the Bronx (like 15-odd miles as the crow flies), he could've been there with her for like 30-60 mins depending on how fast Guillermo can fly. Technically since I hc him as a mexican freetailed bat he can go up to 99mph but probably not for more than a few seconds, avg speed in a hurry would probably be more like 15-30mph. But let me not turn this into another 'bean talks about bats at length' moment.

Anyway I feel like la familia at large isn't fully conscious of their slayer heritage enough to really talk openly about it, like they either don't really know the specifics or pretend not to. Like it's very mythologized and entwined with their religion so just like 'yeah we stand up against evil, thats just catholicism!' but never 'vampires exist and we hunt them.' They just follow the traditions that have been passed down (wear your cross, eat your garlic; why? idk its just what we do) and follow the orders of their matriarch. Nadja may very well be the first vampire they've encountered! Guillermo also hypnotized Silvia at the end there and told her"no es peligroso" - "he's not dangerous" - which could have some very fun side effects. He very well may have made her forget again or she may just be cool about Nandor specifically now lmao.