#my writing motivation finally kicked back in last night and im still feeling that high lmao
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titaen · 2 years ago
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why does "under the tree" go so hard actually
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whatsnothappening · 2 years ago
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stopped my last entry bc i didnt really have much to say but heres whats up PT.2
So i thought id send him a text. "happy new years dad, i love you and miss you. i hope you have a good night" ... nothing. i dont get a single text. normally he either calls right after and makes sure that i am okay and that i am having fun. just nothing. i text my mom and she is all smiles and having fun. a few days go by after new years. i dont know if it was someone in the group or someone at the bar but we all ended up with covid. i also, was just dealing with shit mentally. i dont know if it was because of the new year and i felt like i had to have my life figured out and have this drawn out plan or maybe it was the weird shit with my dad. i have no clue. but i was mentally fucked. my dad sends me a weird text just saying that he hasnt heard from me (yes you have) and that i seemed weird on christmas (well duh) i text back explaining that i have had a rough time mentally recently and that i am sick....nothing..again. i am livid at this point. all of the times that i have supported him and made sure to hype him up and have deep conversations with him and talk about our future and our goals just as humans and how to be better. just fueled me up more. i was done. so done. then fastforward again, i am finally feeling good enough to go back to work. i was pretty much sick for all of januarary. plus me and my friend were going to the gym and i was just riding a high. well i am at work a nice pretty busy day, i have a quite a few requests. well in comes my step mom. she asks for the keys to my car? she says she just has goodies for me and wants to leave them in there and to try them on and let her know if i like them or not. i thought it was EXTREMELY random, but fuck ill take free clothes lol. she asks me how ive been i say good and apologize for not being around and explains that i was very sick and that this round of covid royally kicked my ass. well she goes on home and tells my father who i guess gets pissed that i did tell him i was sick and writes me a shit ass text about how i dont reach out to him. well it goes both ways bud. you have no issue texting my husband about golf? whatever. anywhoooo.. hes come around and has started reaching out again. and we have been texting. well i would love to spend time with him and all of us have a family day but my ass is sick yet again. so i dont know. i am just so happy that he is reaching out again. she wanted me to have a conversation with him about the drinking but i truly dont feel that i need too... mainly because i have seen the signs that i need to look out for when he is going through it. i havent seen any of those. i lived with that my hole child hood i can notice this shit with only spending 5 minutes with him. and she does tend to be a bit dramatic. seriously... so i am going to take it with a grain of salt and just make sure that he is happy and catch up with him and make plans to spend time together. it just really is important to me. i hate the saying. but i am 100% a daddys girl. i love my dad so much. so anytime i get to spend with him is so important and so fun. i think thats one reason why christmas was so miserable for me because literaly any time with my father is an amazing time. its always so fun and so positive. i mean he is just such a positive fun guy. so me being so miserable and feeling uncomfortable and not being able to spend time with him. that fucking sucked. but hey one of my resolutions this year was to start thinking postively and stop dwelling on the negative shit. its hard to keep up with that but im getting better at it. but ontop of that, im really proud of myself because i have started going back to the gym! i missed a couple of weeks due to being sick. but i am still motivated to go! one thing i want to work on is discipline more than motivation. you can have all the motivation in the world to do something and still not succeed at it. you need to have the discipline to really give it your all and be consistent. and discipline is one thing i 100% lack. but ill get there. today is wednesday. continued-
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pinkykitten · 4 years ago
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everything stays
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chapter 1 - blood on her hands :: gisela klein [ an aot oc story ] 
note: hey guys i know its been a rlly long time since ive posted anything and u may be rlly let down and underwhelmed that ive chosen to write a aot oc instead of fanfic but its what i want to write and i rlly love my oc and wanna give her some love and some praise and let u a little in how i see her. im sorry i havent posted a lot im going to try to write more and who knows i may or may not finish this but its ok imma try lol but life sometimes is a butthole. i hope you love her as much as i do an tysm for taking time out of ur day to read this story. enjoy!
Even though she knew that this day would have to come and that it was near, it still was a surprise for her. She was taken aback. It didn’t make sense and add up to her; she was trained for this since she was little; preparing mentally and physically for phase one of the plan; and the day appeared through the trees; past the wall; the opportunity was present; the fate of the people were waiting in their hands; and yet she felt a sense of evilness within her heart. Was this right? But there was no time. 
The day was written down in history. The stories were spread around like a disease. Heights, jaws, teeth, feet, stench, the screams. If they survived that nightmare they were seen as a tough soldier; as someone that was applauded because they probably had PTSD and had to see everyday as a reason within themselves or God that they were alive. That maybe just maybe they were saved for a reason; for a purpose. That is what Gisela Klein thought. Maybe there was something greater out there for her to do, to accomplish and that was why she saw another day; breathed another breath. 
But one thing was for sure. Forgiveness would never come her way; she would never expect it. To be a warrior she had to endure the horror; the pain; feelings of worthlessness; and friendships lost. 
This is the story of the 10th finding titan; the Slash Titan.
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The pounding of her heart rang through her ears. It had taken everything for her to keep going on this journey; to continue on the path to and through Hell. She felt a loss within her and the light in her eyes died out. The loss of her friend made it hard for her to function. To keep her head in the game and in the plan. 
She sighed as she stared at her hands. Broken and bruised like her heart; scars and scratches scattered on her skin. Her bite mark deeply engraved into her flesh. She heaved a huge sigh. Ready to give death a handshake and make a deal with the devil. Panic was rising in her chest from her stomach, almost ready to throw up. 
As she thought about her family back home she realized there was no other way; she had to do this. In order to be with her family, to save them she had to do the one thing she was trained to do. 
Kill.
A lightning strike shot over the wall. The wall that kept the monsters away and at bay. Something was wrong; the air seemed to change. The lightning strike caused a boom, clap and the ground started to shake. 
Bertholdt drew his leg back and with full force swung his leg forward, knocking a hole into the wall that was impenetrable. Many people flew back from the wind of the blow and some were crushed by the debris of the wall. 
Many were going to die; but it’s what needed to be done. 
The titans were called. 
Finally the titans entered the devils homes and started to rip up their lives. “This is right, this is right.” Gisela had to keep reminding herself. “For my family.” And something snapped within her. The image of her mother, tortured, flashed in her mind. And suddenly everything was worth it. “No regrets.”
Gisela eyed Reiner, an agreement, a sign. She exhaled and in a quick motion placed her hand to her mouth and bit into it. In a spark she transformed into her titan form. Her eyes were much like a cats, sharp. She was made into the slash titan, she was chosen for this program. Her titans fingers were like sharp knives, able to cut any object or person. They hung a little past her knees. 
Reiner then transformed and both stomped past the hole. Many citizens glanced up, horrified. Gisela and Reiner were titans never seen before. 
She nodded to Reiner, bent down and started to pick up debris and pieces of houses to throw over the bigger wall. The chunks started to smash against people. Blood splattering everywhere. Gisela almost wanted to close her eyes from the immense amount of dead bodies piled on top of others, graves upon graves. 
She was hauling boulders as high and fast as she could. Her titan held a high amount of power and strength. Being slim, muscular and as tall as the armored titan and female titan. Reiner took a step back and gained his speed to go onward to destroy the bigger wall. 
“Fire!” Their soldiers cried out. Fear evident on their face. They shot their cannons, not even slowing down Reiner. Gisela continued flinging, wanting to create a path for Reiner. She was faster than before and many of her hits flattened the men in the front lines. Their screams and cries loud. 
“Close the gate!” They tried, it was their last hope to save humanity. But it was not enough. Reiner broke the wall and killed those running and they went flying. They reached even higher than Gisela. It astounded her almost, they seemed like helpless birds flying high in the sky; but that thought was quickly wiped clean because the second they flew up in the air they came straight down with much force that many parts of their bodies broke. 
Reiner did what he needed to do, he opened up a way for the titans to get in and they were swarming by the bunches. 
In the distance, the survivors fled in boats across the river to get into the other walls. Gisela put herself in their shoes for a second. They had reason to be scared. Everything they have ever known was gone; their houses, loved ones, food, a place to feel the most comfortable you can feel despite situations; it was all gone. Gisela shook the thought out, not caring about these cruel humans feelings. They had none. No emotions. Gisela had to believe that thought; what she was told, she had to believe it with all her heart, or else what was real?
They waited till they were able to not be seen and Gisela turned human first and then so did Reiner. The four of them hopped on the boat. Talking amongst themselves. The wind howled through the vacant homes. Destruction everywhere. Gisela looked around her setting and saw a little girl had been crushed because a tree fell on her, her doll mere inches away from her grasp. She died with her eyes open; almost looking into Gisela’s soul through the eyes. Gisela’s body trembled and she threw up. 
“Don’t.”
Gisela looked up to see Reiner wiping blood and debris off his clothes. He picked his sleeve and turned Gisela’s head to look away, he wiped her chin and mouth off the puke. He saw the trauma in her eyes and felt guilty. But it’s what needed to be done. He kept telling himself that the more he did this the more he would understand and get used to it. It was still all new to her and he had to be strong for her. He knelt in front of her small frame. “It’s not your fault. They needed to die. We are in this together. You don’t need them. Look at me.”
Gisela looked into his eyes, away from the sadness. His eyes carried the feeling of wanting to be wanted. That was always what Reiner wanted. But they also had fear in his eyes. 
“Stop acting like you’re in control when I know how sick you feel. I know how afraid you are Reiner.”
He paused and took a look at his hands and others surrounding him. “You’re right. But I made a promise to Marcel.”
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They joined the other citizens arriving at the food reserves. The master of disguise was needed in this mission. People needed to see four hungry, depressed children that survived the fall of their homes, not mass murderers. 
Annie was only able to fetch two loaves. “Alright, who's the most hungry?”
“You girls should eat, you’re more feeble.” Bertholdt sat on a crate, pointing to Gisela and Annie. 
Annie tsked, moving a bang from her eyes, “who says girls are more feeble? I recall kicking your ass all those times in training.”
“You guys can eat it, I’m not hungry.” Gisela sat on the other crate and saw the chaos of the crowds. A boy caught her interest. He had dark brown hair, tan skin, and light blue green eyes. He was having bread shoved in his mouth and he seemed to have such a strong personality to him. If only Gisela felt so strongly about her motive and her placement in this life. 
“You really should eat, you need your energy after all you did.” Annie broke all the loaves in half and shared it amongst the four of you. “It’s not much but at least it's something.”
Gisela sighed, “you’re right. Thanks.”
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After that day there was land given to only a few refugees but there were too many of them. Luckily the four of them had a piece of land that was enough until further inching themselves within society. Through that whole span each day was getting easier and easier living with the lies and day by day Gisela felt more at sure with herself and knowing that she could fulfill this mission. Pills and alcohol helped the pain and ease the thoughts. She taught herself to put a gap between what she came here to do and feelings. She told herself every day that nobody else mattered except her family and Reiner. She trained her brain to not care, to not have strings attached or any love for anything. It was all a play, all a rehearsal for when the curtain would fall. She was readying herself for that fall. Everyday she educated herself more on these scums. What they liked, wanted, needed, craved for, and what they craved more than ever in their life was freedom. 
She trained her body as if it were her last day, barely getting sleep. The face of her mother haunting her every night making her get up at three in the morning to do pushups or sit ups. Not only was her mind getting stronger but also her body. Even Reiner would make jokes noticing the muscles that would appear. The six pack that formed on her stomach. Her thighs growing tight and firm, her arms growing stronger. The sweat growing on her forehead longer. 
With her body growing her relationship with Reiner also changed. They no longer were the tiny children that didn’t understand anatomy or the air between two people. Reiner and Gisela’s relationship was of being flirty, sharing a few kisses here and there, trying to be a couple but then yelling at each other and breaking it up and realizing maybe this isn’t right a million times. Even Bertholdt and Annie were getting tired of their outbursts. But each time they made up to be friends only and then the cycle started where the feelings came in the way and they wanted to be more. They would tease each other, especially Reiner. They were each other's best friends. Gisela was like one of the boys, loud, obnoxious, burping all the time, Reiner would get a look at her and smirk thinking he taught her well. When Reiner looked at her he felt at home and that everything was going to be okay. Her nightmares continued and each time Reiner would come to her room and hold her, let her cry into his arms. She felt he was the only person that knew her pain. 
Gisela understood many things in life and for once she understood her life here, she understood why she was born and chosen. 
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It was the following year and in order to get closer to finding the founding titan the four became part of the 104th cadet corps. 
“Are you ready to train more?” Gisela nudged Reiner, eyebrow raised.
“What do you mean train more? This is going to be a new but scary experience honestly.” Reiner spoke as if he was a different person. As if he didn’t have a life outside of the walls. 
“Reiner?” Gisela placed her hand on his shoulder, steadying him. He looked fine on the outside but Gisela knew the issues were inside, his mind. She knew this was becoming disastrous to him, he was starting to have almost two personalities, two lives, two worlds, two people. Gisela tried to tell Annie or Bertholdt, they saw it too but there was nothing they could do. 
All that Gisela could do was smile as they made their way to the first day of training. 
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note: again ty y’all sm!!!! If u liked it lmk and this is kinda new for me cuz I usually don’t post my ocs stories here or much at all but I’m rlly excited for y’all to see her and for y’all to know this oc of mine and hopefully accept her ❤️
Taglist: @witchofinterest @chlobenet @eddysocs @fpxloomis @whctsherncme-archive @ocfairygodmother @fandomchick80 @ocappreciationtag
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theserpentsnight · 4 years ago
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Hi! I wanted to tell you that I really love your beetlebabes art <3 I’m really curious about your take on the characters, can you tell us more about your AU?
Thank you!! Im a sucker for powerful characters getting wrapped around the finger of some normie lmao
Okay okay so I've only seen the movie once when I was like 11, and haven't gotten around to rewatching it, but I remember Betelgeuse's nature/motive being more of a mystery at first? I like good old fashion demons with Rules and Deals and True Names. In my AU, Betelgeuse has made a lot of trouble by making deals with ghosts and taking their souls (basically all those background dancers are ghosts who are contractually bound to him lmao), then using them to get living people to summon him, before he either gets banished again, makes a deal, or kills them.
It becomes such a problem that Juno decides to play his game and make a Wager. She gets to pick a recently departed spirit, and Betelgeuse has to train them to haunt their place of death. He can't help outside of teaching them how to scare; the spirit has to do the actual haunting all by themself. If he wins, he will be free to enter the living world whenever he wants, without needing to be summoned. If he loses, his contracts will be destroyed, and he will be bound to the spirit's place of death alongside them.
He accepts, thinking this is going to be the easiest thing in the world. He's already trained so many ghosts how to scare, its his whole thing!
And then Juno picks the Maitlands.
He was excited for all of two seconds, thinking Juno lost her mind giving him TWO ghosts to work with, but that excitement is quickly and brutally extinguished because my version of the Maitlands are exactly like they are in the musical.
He manages to last almost two weeks before they drive him fucking crazy, and he gives up. He meets up with Juno on the roof and tries to complain that picking these two wasn't fair, yada yada, but she's having none of it. As agreed, all his contracts are destroyed, freeing the ghosts who are bound to him (notice how after the Invisible Reprise he doesn't have background dancers anymore until the wedding??), and he can't leave the house. He is BaNiShEd! DiSaVoWeD! And its going to be really fucking hard to get back to where he was before when the only ghosts he has are the goddamn Maitlands.
Then the Deetz finally move in, and he meets Lydia. A 16 yr old goth girl writing a suicide note- who can SEE him. Their first meeting goes almost exactly the same as canon, except Lydia jumps afterwards, still very much suicidal and believing that the Maitlands are unable to make her dad see them.
Barbara's ghosty powers kick in right on time, and she levitates Lydia back to safety. Cue the gushy ass scene that keeps me awake at night, where the Maitlands tell Lydia she doesn't have to do things alone, she can rely on other people, they aren't going to give up on helping her after only one failed attempt :') New Parental Figures Acquired.
Then they fail again and Lydia can't deal. She summons Betelgeuse!
Now to the part that you actually asked about, which was my take on Lydia and Betelgeuse's dynamic sjslkdlsjs. When he first met her on the roof, he was just gonna kill her or steal her soul after being summoned, but in the five minutes they spoke he went from looking down on her, to seeing her as a challenge, then to downright respect by the time she pushed him off the roof lmao. Even at her most vulnerable emotional state she doesn't let herself get pushed around, and even takes the time to actively fuck with him. Mad respect.
Lydia has dealt with enough predators to recognize the glint in his eye right off the bat. She enjoys taking some of her anger out on him, since he clearly needs something from her and won't be properly retaliating. When the dinner party thing happens, she figures she was going to kill herself anyways, what more could a demon possibly do?
At this point Betelgeuse is just delighted. As an immortal, boredom and being trapped are two of his worst nightmares, and this girl just handed him some freedom and goddammit she's interesting. Most people would cower when a demon shows their true form in the middle of the living room, but she just ran up to him and told her dad "this is what you get!" Like bitch! He's sold! He wants to hang out with this fucked up breather.
Okay summary time because I could Go On. Betelgeuse wants to be needed, he wants people who can't leave him, and he wants to be free to do whatever he likes. Lydia needs him, but she also seems to genuinely like him, which isn't really a thing he's used to. Suddenly he feels the need to constantly impress her, he loves making her laugh, he loves listening to her talk about weirdo shit, and he loves how she isn’t as uptight as other breathers are about him doing things like- summoning snakes out of a pizza box and having them maul the face of the delivery guy.
Lydia just wants to be seen and accepted for who she is, and someone she can rely on when things are hard. Betelgeuse is literally the only person in the five years since her mom died (yeah in my AU its been 5 yrs not 6 months) who she has been able to rely on to keep her physically safe. Who has no issue with her talking about weird/gross things, and who actively encourages her to let out her emotions instead of keeping them pent up.
But this sudden release of all the anger, pain and frustration she’s kept inside her is what leads to this new, crueler attitude she picked up. She laughs at Betelgeuse chasing a child with a fake disembodied head, laughs at the pizza guy writhing with snakes biting his face, and mockingly joins the dance of the three possessed people because she is just... dissociating. And why should she care about other ppl’s pain anyway, when they ignored hers all this time? She rides the power high of having a demon enamored with her, backing up her anger with literal fire. It’s extremely self-destructive and unhealthy! :)
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vlogsquadssquad · 4 years ago
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Secure 2
summary: Charlie confesses his feelings and reader has to decide if that's what she wants, or if another guy has her *attention*
a/n: i’m honestly BLOWN away at part 1′s feedback. y'all really loved it so Ive been working on this all day, I hope its everything youve been waiting for! thank you to my new followers, ive been writing for a bit for fun and no one was reading my stories but after the reaction for the last story I was so motivated to write. I have A LOT more ideas and even an idea for a part 3 with smut and maybe even reader having to tell the boy she didn't choose the bad news, who knooowwsss. send me in suggestions! 
warnings: language, alluding to smut at the end.
mood board:
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-- YOUR POV
my life has been the most fun lately. ive been hanging out with David and he really gets me to let loose. he's always trying to top his last video which is so fun to be a part of. even if we wait around the house all day. tonight im alone though. I told him I needed to get some writing down for the last song of my album. I want it to be about being happy with yourself and secure with who you are. that you don't need another person to define who you are. but im having trouble putting that into words that rhyme. maybe I should just see what David is up to.
- daveyy (:
hey, I know I said I was busy but my mind is too cluttered and im curious what the vlog squad is up to 😉 >
< hahaa nothing actually. im by myself at the house tonight. really boring. watching movies ive seen dozens of times.
oh no! your friends realize they were too cool for you? >
< probably lmao. what are you up to?
trying to finish this last song but I can't think straight >
hey would you wanna come over? its ok if you're too busy being alone watching 50 first dates lol >
< how'd you know? 😅 id love to. chipotle?
- end texts -
“hey, loser” I say as he walks in with our food and... is that ice cream? “wait, did you get ice cream?” 
“yeah, I got your favorite flavor!” he says with a smile. my heart aches at the kind gesture. “wow your house is so nice” he sets the food on my counter as he glances around. 
“thank you, im really into interior design... and nice houses” i joke as i examine the ice cream David got for me. he chuckles as he gets my food out of the bag and sets it up in my living room. I put on a movie to watch but we end up muting it and just talking instead. our conversations just seem to flow. “what's a memory that stands out to you from your childhood?” I ask him. “there's so many things,” he puts his arm around the back of my couch as we sit sideways to face each other. we finished eating forever ago. “probably just all of high school. I learned so much, from my friends and my teachers. nothing academically, obviously.” he laughs. I smile to him and run my fingers through my hair. he watches my movements and for a moment its quiet.
“I think you're really smart.” I say finally. “I love how you push me, you're always there for me, and you just come up with the best ideas. you're so creative.” 
“wow. what did I do to deserve your kindness?” he asks with a slight laugh.
“I can think of a few things.” our conversation became much lighter after that. after a while we went into my home studio and he helped me write. the night was filled with jokes and endless laughing but also had serious moments too. I shared very personal details about my life. but the best thing of all was that there was no camera in sight. it was just friends being friends. no clickbait. no underlying purpose for the long stay. it was perfect.
-- next day
“hey y/n could I come over and talk?” Charlie asked over the phone.
“sure, I don't have anything planned till tonight.”
“ok be there in 20.”
“what's the sudden emergency?” I ask as he walks in the door.
“there's just something I've been wanting to confess for a really long time and i’m not sure-”
“its ok Charlie, what is it?”
“I think I'm in love with you.”
my heart dropped. Im frozen in time. I don't need a relationship right now and I sure as hell can't lose my friendship with Charlie.
“I don't know what to say...”
“say you love me too!” he moves closer to me “I know you do! you always want to be around me, have me close to you, we talk all night. I know you feel it.”
I look at him with a blank expression.
“I honestly don't. I've never thought of you that way, and I'm really enjoying being single. for once in my life I'm not letting the pressure of having someone on my arm get to me, I don't need this right now, I-”
“what..? y/n. don't do this.”
“I'm not doing anything it's just the truth.” I look to the ground as his eyes fill with tears. “I think you should go.” I say.
-- DAVIDS POV, that night
- y/n/n 😋
you're still coming to my party tonight right? >
< I wouldn't miss it! so proud of you! ❤️
tonight was my party to celebrate my new show. I haven't told the fans yet but this vlog will be my announcement. we start filming for it on Monday and I've never been more excited. its exactly what I've been dreaming of all my life.
the party started to kick off and all my friends slowly started showing up. Charlie was going to perform his unreleased song tonight and everyone was already talking about it. 
“hey have you heard anything from y/n and Charlie? are they dating?” Ilya comes up and whispers to me.
“no man, I haven't heard anything. I was with y/n all night last night and I wasn't exactly begging her to give me details but we did talk for hours about random stuff and she never brought him up or texted anyone. I don't know they might not be.” I say with hope shining through the cracks of my voice.
“I can just ask Charlie?” Ilya offers. he's such a good friend when it matters.
I nod and then head to get something to drink. y/n still wasn't here and I was getting antsy.
just then I hear Natalie let someone in. I peak around the corner and see y/n. she looks drop dead gorgeous. i’ve never seen her dressed up like that. I think she saw right through me and asked if she had something on her face. 
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“no, no, I just have never seen you dressed like that. you look great.” I look to the floor. no way she and Charlie aren't an item. they both love music and they're both flawless people. they're a match made in heaven. 
“well, thank you, cowboy.” she says in a funny southern accent. she was so weird. she came in for a hug and she smelled exactly like when I first met her. I put my hand on the small of her back and for a split second I felt her push more into me. 
“so where can I get a drink?” she asked as we pulled apart.
“a drink?” I ask
“yes, i’ve had a bizarre day and I need a drink.”
Im about to ask her what she means when I hear Charlie from behind me 
“hey, babe, you're late.” he says to y/n as he pulls her into a hug. she almost looks uncomfortable. “hey Charles, how are you?” 
“i’m great, i’ve had several drinks and im thinking much clearly-er now”
“I can smell that” she chuckles
I hand her her favorite drink and ask her if she finished the song. after a short conversation Charlie pulls her to the couch where some other friends are doing karaoke. she's basically sitting on his lap and laughing. I grab my camera and record a little outside trying to not think about it.
-- YOUR POV
I honestly think drunk Charlie has forgotten about our conversation from earlier. which i’m relieved because sometimes I just need good ol Charlie and not this new one that was in love with me. sure he's a little touchy but we were always close like that. 
“alright I promised David I would perform an unreleased song tonight. come on I want you to hear it.” he grabs my hand pulls me up. I have a gut feeling I don't want to be here for it.
David set up the mic outside and everyone found a seat. David sat next to me with camera in hand. 
“alright alright” Charlie starts. “hopefully I don't forget the lyrics since i’m a little buzzed.” the audience laughed. “but this song means a lot to me, and I wrote it with someone in mind. someone who has changed my life for the better and made me a better man.”
oh god, please don't say my name 
“y/n. you are everything to me. I wouldn't be able to be who I am today without you.”
everyone looks to me as the music starts. a love song. i place my head in my hands and David nudges me. “you ok?” he whispers.
“can you please get me out of here?” he nods his head and stands up. Charlie is looking down at his guitar lost in his music. I feel bad leaving but how could he not take no as an answer? I follow David out the door and my head is down in shame. he closes the patio door and turns to me. “what is going on? I thought you guys were dating?” 
“oh god, not you too.” I groan. “just please I need to be anywhere but here right now. fast.”
“okay. let’s go.”
we go to his garage and he looks at me. 
“you said fast!” he shrugs as he opens the passenger Ferrari door for me. I laugh with my head thrown back “true. but im going to need a jacket or blanket.”
“here, use mine.” he took off his hoodie and handed it to me. I hopped in the car and we were off.
“anywhere in mind?” he asks as we pull out of the neighborhood.
“nope,” I smile. “im kinda hungry though”
“alright,” he turns the car at the light. “then we’re gonna make this worth our while. I know an overly expensive place with great burgers.” 
I laugh at him as my hair blows in the wind “yes! lets spend all your money!” I lift my arms and scream. David just laughs at me. we speed down the highways. ive never felt so free. 
we finally arrive to the place and get seated.
“so do you wanna tell me why we left my party now?”
“i’m sorry by the way. I didn't mean to drag you from your party but...” I look down and pick at my napkin “Charlie confessed his feelings for me this afternoon.” David looked at me confused. 
“isn't that a good thing?” he asked.
“not if I don't feel the same way.” I sigh and David looks surprised. “I was very clear about my feelings- or lack of. but he had been hitting on me all night and then the song. I know he was drunk but im really worried for my friendship with him.” 
“I can't believe my ears.” he said almost laughing. “you, y/f/n, don't like the guy who seems like he was sent down from the heavens for you?” 
“nope. he just isn't my type I guess, I don't know. I never really thought of him that way and I don't want to.”
“wow, no one will be up to your standards will they?” David laughs as he takes a drink.
“the right guy will be.”
perfect timing. the waitress comes over with our food. we thank her and get eating. he was right. best. burgers. ever! 
I moan as I take another bite.
David looks me up and down with his cheeks full of burger and chuckles. “okay, y/n, calm down. it isn't no Charlie puth.”
I gasp and throw a fry at him playfully, laughing. “no... no it is not!” we both laugh harder. as we finish up David pays despite my best efforts and we head to my house so he can drop me off. the car ride was fun, we listened to all the hits and sang our hearts out. we got tons of funny looks, but nothing mattered. I grabbed his vlog camera he threw to the side and recorded him singing and then popped myself into frame and had the camera aimed at both of us. our hair was crazy and the night was wearing down on us but it didn't matter. we were just happy to be alive. 
as we pulled into my driveway and David put the car in park, I looked to him. “you wanna walk me to my door?” 
“already on it.”
he came around and opened the car door for me and walked me up to my door. 
“thank you for tonight. it was like out of a movie. I really needed it.” I was talking softly now since it was the dead of the night and the only thing heard was the crickets. 
“anytime, y/n.” David also said softly. he kept looking to my lips which made my heart beat faster every time. I know I said I didn't need a guy, but he just looks too good. 
“and congrats on your show, I'm really proud of you.” I step closer. 
“thank you, congrats on staying single another night.” he joked but had his hands gently placed on my forearm. 
“its still early.” I whisper closer to his face now. I can feel his breath and he can feel mine. my heart is going a million beats a minute and the butterflies in my stomach are in a tornado.
“I can't write a song about you, but I can buy you more expensive burgers.”
I laugh leaning my head on his shoulder. “that's all a girl needs anyways.”
he laughs too but gently. I look up at him and his eyes are locked on mine. he places a hand on my cheek and then lower to my neck. I take a sharp breath in and connect our lips. his lips are soft, sweet, and gentle. I pull my arms up around his neck and deepen the kiss. I feel his hands slide down my back to just above my ass. I move my head to the side and open my mouth gently. he knows what to do and opens his mouth too. I feel his tongue dominate my mouth. he retracts and I close my mouth only to bite his bottom lip and then pull away. I let go and we put our foreheads together breathing heavily. 
“I could do that again.” he says.
“wanna come inside?” I whisper, my hands now playing with his hairs at the end of his neck.
“best party ever.” he laughs and I pull him inside. I don't know what im supposed to tell Charlie. the heart wants what it wants?
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adonis-koo · 6 years ago
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bury a friend
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Note: Getting shit done this week 😌 this was suppose to be the last part but it’s not ??? Psych. Anyways took me forever but I hope u guys enjoy 🖤
Pairing: Yandere!Taehyung/Reader, Jungkook/Reader
Plot: Taehyung was always different. Ever since you were kids he had always been different. Constantly in and out of the psych ward but that never stopped you from liking him when you were little. He was like the brother you never had. Unfortunately after moving in together your life turns into a nightmare that you can’t wake up from.
Word count: 4546
Previous | Next | Part 1
-
“What a freak!” The words were spat out by the loud laughing boys as they huddled around the younger grade boy. Shoving him down to the ground as he grunted, Taehyung was ready to stand up and simply ignore them, it’s all he could do right?
The wind was knocked out of him as a kick swiftly came to his stomach and another wheezing from the other kindergarten boys. He expected the next one to come just as ruthlessly as the last but it never came as he heard a shrilled shout, “Don’t be so mean!”
The other boys turned around like deer in headlights before slowly dispersing away from him. Confused Taehyung looked up from his mop of hair to see a girl roughly the same age, stomping her foot in her white dress as she glowered at them, a dab of dirt smudged across her nose and scraps on her knees from playing, “Go away L/n he’s just a freak,” The pack leader replied scoffing, glaring down at the him harshly. She only stomped her foot again before chucking the baseball she held in her hand at the boy, “I don’t care! Get away from him!”
The boys, quickly cowered from the hotheaded girl as they ran away, making her huff as she crossed her arms before letting her look melt away. She quickly ran up to Taehyung, concern written in her doe eyes as she asked, “Are you okay?”
It was the first time in his young life, anyone had ever asked that, his lips had parted and his eyes shone brightly as if an angel had descended from heaven its self and graced him with her presence. Bashfully Taehyung looked away as he nodded, “I’m fine...you didn’t have to do that, nobody likes me anyways...”
She only frowned for a second, looking away before grinning again, holding her hands down towards him in offerance to help him up, “Well...I think you’re pretty okay, we can be friends if you’d like! Im L/n Y/n!”
It was the first time Taehyung could recall anyone ever being so kind to him, it was the only time anyone had ever been kind to him. Sure people had come along later in middle school, but they were always fake and backstabbers. And anyone in high school always had ulterior motives or they simply wanted to be with him for his looks.
There was no pure person in this world outside of his precious Y/n, you were, in a way, his hope the world wasn’t all terrible, his life line. He couldn’t let you go. No not when you were the only thing holding him together. It didn’t matter if you didn’t want to be with him it wasn’t your choice to decide. In fact it absolutely crushed him, how could you be so selfish? You were perfect, you couldn’t be selfish to get rid of him, to no longer want to be with him.
Staring down at your passed out figure as he mused all these things, leaning down to stroke your cold cheek lovingly. You could push and scream but no one could hear you down here. You could deny it all you wanted but you loved him, you had too. Because angels loved everyone. His temper flared briefly for a moment, nobody should ever be allowed to feel your warmth or kindness besides himself. They didn’t deserve it.
Especially that sniveling Jeon, just the memory of how he held you at the damnable party made a hot flash of anger take over. Taehyung would make him regret ever being born, putting his filthy hands on his angel, his world. Swallowing thickly he stood up, glancing down at you one last time before he turned around, stepping up the old creaking stairs of the basement to let his little angel rest while he decided to do something about that police dog that would eventually come sniffing around.
-
Attention: young girl of 21 has been reported missing over 3 weeks ago L/n Y/n, roughly y/h with h/c and e/c last seen on campus grounds-
The TV suddenly turned off in the break room as Jungkook gripped the remote tightly with white knuckles, unable to stomach the broadcast report again. Where could he have taken you? His CO only groaned as he sighed, “Calm down Jungkook, we’re going to find her.” Yoongi shrugged, running a hand through his hair as he filed through the paper work, briefing himself but not quite paying as close attention as he knew he should’ve.
“It’s been 3 weeks,” Jungkook finally released the remote as he grunted unamused, not liking the idea at all of sitting around waiting for evidence to show up when you could be out there potentially being tortured if not killed already, “And there’s been no progress on the case.” At this rate they were going to close the case as cold and simply write you off as missing presumed dead. The thought made his stomach churn sickingly as Jungkook gritted his teeth, “If we could just get into her apartment-“
“Jungkook,” his CO Yoongi sighed once more, dropping the papers he held onto the table, finally resigning that he wouldn’t make any progress with the younger kid around, “We can’t do that without a warrant and with everything else going on I severely doubt the judge will pass it.”
Sighing his shoulders dropped before shaking his head, Yoongi was right but it’s not as though it made him feel any better. Ever since your disappearance kidnapping and homicide rates had spiked leaving the police department sparse on resources and while Jungkook assumed they were connected his CO wasn’t as superstitious.
A hand suddenly smacked Jungkook’s back heartily and a can slammed against the table he stood at, “Cheer up Kook last I heard up at the main station they spotted a black ‘89 Ford Mustang about a half an hour ago.” Jimin stood beside his friend, watching his eyes sink to the energy drink before shooting up in surprise to look at him, “The licenses plate matched?”
This was where Jimin’s face dropped slightly, having never been good at concealing his emotions Jungkook sighed again as Jimin gave a sympathetic smile, “They’re trying to get a fix on the plates from the camera feed off of the area they spotted it in but I was leaving when they first started working on it. We’ll probably hear from them in a few hours if they find anything.”
It was already nearing nine at night but Jungkook hadn’t been sleeping regardless, it would be another late night whether it was spent in station or at home. Pressing his lips together he looked at the clock over head as the idea popped into his mind, it was a bad one of course.
But thankfully his best friend was always up for a shitty late night decisions, “Well I’m going to clock out and try to get some rest. I’ll see you both later.” Jungkook replied coolly. Making his CO curve an eyebrow watching him carefully as Yoongi replied, “Oh? Well good, get some rest kid you’ll need it.”
Jungkook had already began to walk out of the break room as Yoongi called out, “And Jeon, stay out of trouble.”
Jungkook only threw him a nod that Yoongi knew all too well was a dismissive one, and whatever he had in mind was simply going to do anyways. Jimin being the curious cat he was quickly said his goodbyes to their superior before slinking away to find his friend. Catching up to Jungkook who was on his way out to his car Jimin huffed as he asked, “What are we doing?”
“Getting changed first of all,” Jungkook flicked his friends forehead as he whined rubbing the spot, “Meet me at my house in an hour okay? We have a lot of work to do.”
Sighing Jimin shrugged before nodding, figuring he’d get the run down when he arrived later that night. Now all that was left to do was get takeout and change into civilian wear.
-
Cold hands, cold heart. Bruised knee’s and empty eyes. Blood crusted finger nails, stringy hair and blurry vision. The list of your ragged appearance could go on for more then an hour if you had any strength left to think. Pressing your chapped lips together you rolled onto your back, the wet concrete uncomfortable against your skin.
A violent shiver was sent up your spine, making you curl against yourself again as you closed your eyes. Hoping tears would fall and yet none came. You had become numb to any sensation there was left too feel. All you could do was simply breath, even thinking had become to much for you to bear. Eventually the basement door opened with a loud scrap letting you know it was time. Another day with the devil.
His footsteps were heavy making them echo off the walls that accompanied a splash from the floor. Your breathe hitched and your movement stilled, maybe if he thought you were dead he’d finally let you rest. It was only wishful thinking though as Taehyung hauled you up, scooping you into his arms as if you were delicate porcelain. Which you rightfully were, your body was sore, bruised and bartered. He brought you upstairs to the unfamiliar apartment.
The black and white tiling for the kitchen appeared beyond dated and the wallpaper was crumbled and peeling off the corners of the walls. Your vision was spotted though and you couldn’t focus on any of the details for much longer. Your conscious had begun going in and out. One moment you were in the kitchen. The next you were in a bathroom with Taehyung undressing you.
You almost briefly remember the warmth of water touching your skin but you weren’t really sure anymore. The next moment you were fully conscious you were against something soft and under atleast four layers of blankets. Had it all just been a bad dream?
Attempting to stretch you were stopped in your tracks at the all too familiar arms that coiled tightly around you. Taehyung’s nose was buried in your neck and his arms tightly wrapped around your waist, squeezing occasionally as you noted he seemed to be whimpering in his sleep. Your body felt tense and slowly, almost cautiously you turned around to face him.
Hesitantly you lifted a hand, stopping for a moment as it hovered over his cheekbone before gently stroked his face, his muscles clenched before relaxing as he took a deep breath in.
His whining had ceased and he relaxed fully as his breathes began to even. Taehyung looked oddly innocent in that moment, his chestnut locks fallen just above his eyebrows and his square jaw looked soft as his lips parted slightly.
He didn’t look like a murder, or a psychopath. He just looked like Taehyung. The beating of your heart would’ve alarmed any other person but he hadn’t killed you yet, and he had killed many. Your face was becoming red and you knew it wasn’t right but he bathed and fed you. This wasn’t love, it couldn’t be, could it?
But his arms made you feel so safe, but they were the same ones that had maimed you on many occasions. But you had rightfully deserved it, right? When you tried to escape, or the time you had put arsenic in his dinner, you had deserved it every time.
As long as you were a good girl, he wouldn’t hurt you. Convincing yourself that was the truth you let your body relax before inevitably hugging closer to him, burying yourself into his body as you let sleep over take you once more.
The next time you woke up it was the morning, stretching out before curling back up against the warmth of another body as you sighed contently. A large hand began to stroke down your back as a raspy morning voice met your ears, “Morning sweetheart, sleep well?”
You shifted again, wrapping your arms all the way around him, afraid to speak, not trusting your voice as it always seemed to get you in trouble. You simply nodded, keeping your eyes shut as he gave a hum, satisfied with your answer. Curiously you peeped your eyes open, you were laying on top of him, both of his arms looped around you and his gaze was focused ahead.
After a moment you realized he must’ve been on his phone, Taehyung’s gaze after another second flickered down towards you as a coy smirk pulled on his lips, “You’ve been such a good girl baby,” without realizing it a shy grin took place on your lips as you felt another stroke from his hand, burying your face into the crook of his neck as he hummed, “Wanna go downstairs for breakfast?”
Your head popped up again, with parted lips and a low growl of your stomach, he was gonna let you have breakfast with him? Excitedly you nodded again as he laughed. Pinching your cheeks before ruffling your hair, “You’re so damn cute, you know that?” Taehyung practically cooed out before sitting up as you got off him, “Come on, let’s make something to eat.”
Eagerly you followed behind him, noticing you had been put in one of his shirts, oversized by nature which made the material reach the mid of your thighs. Regardless you were hungry and weren’t going to pitch a fit when you could be eating. You hadn’t been allowed in the kitchen since the arsenic incident but you were glad he had moved past it because you had as well. Taehyung had made you sit on the counter while he made pancakes, a twinge stabbed in you saying he still didn’t trust you. Why did it upset you so much?
You hadn’t realized how much your fingers twitched until Taehyung had grabbed them, evaluating your expression, eyes darkened as he asked, “What’s wrong?”
Your lips quivered looking away for a second, debating on telling him for a moment. What if he got upset? No you couldn’t risk that, shaking your head you finally spoke, “N-nothing. When will breakfast be done?” You peered over his shoulder at the skillet where pancakes had laid half cooked and near ready to be flipped. Taehyung looked at you for a moment, knowing well he didn’t buy your answer but said nothing about the topic before offering a smile, ruffling your hair, “In a few babe, wanna start frying up the bacon for me?”
Your eyes lit up as you nodded rapidly, quickly hopping off the counter as he chuckled at your eagerness. You made your way over as Taehyung followed behind getting the pan out for you. It had been a suspiciously pleasant morning as you ate together.
Taehyung had filled the silence with rambling about this and that as you listened, but never chipping in or contributing. Not out of disinterested but more so out or not wanting to anger him if you said something wrong. Eventually he had let you both go to the living room to put on a movie.
When was the last time you had even seen a TV? Laying down on top of him you let out a yawn as you snuggled back down against his neck, his arms wrapped around you as his fingers massaged into your hair. Letting your eyes fall asleep you sighed contently, it seemed after a long hellish time things were finally going back to normal.
---
| 9 hours previously |
Jimin wiggled in his seat, his fingers fumbling with his chopsticks in attempt to get the noodles up from the styrofoam takeout box as he pressed his lips together, focused on his meal but still asking, “Are you sure this is a good idea?”
Gripping the stirring wheel Jungkook pressed his lips together, looking towards his friend for a moment before back towards the road. This wasn’t a good idea, but that was the purpose of bringing Jimin along, because even if it wasn’t Jimin loved bad ideas.
And even if it wasn’t a good idea you needed help that wasn’t going to be provided by the police force which meant he’d have to take matters into his own hands to insure you were safe, “Would we be here if it was?”
Jimin puckered his lips wistfully for a moment while chewing, swallowing as he gave a hum shrugging, “Good point.”
Technically this would be breaking and entering but neither of them were in uniform and this was out of good intention so they wouldn’t be charged with more then a warning. That was if they got caught anyways. And the likelihood of that happening wasn’t very high.
Parking the car Jungkook had grabbed his styrofoam box, eating what was left of his takeout before stepping out of the car with Jimin behind him not too long after. They trailed through the apartment numbers as Jimin looked around, scratching his head as he asked, “Not to make you out like a creep but how do you know where she lives?”
“One of Seokjin’s friends is her best friend, when I mentioned wanting to stop by for evidence he gave me her address before I could even ask.” Jungkook explained as he stopped at the apt number. This was it. Pausing for a minute Jungkook store down the number before reaching up to knock.
Hearing a scoff he turned to look at Jimin who rose a judging brow, “Dude we’re getting ready to dine and dash this place why the hell are you knocking?”
“First of all,” Jungkook paused, licking his lips as though restraining his disgust before turning to his friend, “Never use analogies out of context again. Two it would be real fuckin’ awkward if we met our coworkers again because they’re in there and called the police.”
Knocking once more as if to make a point they both stayed silent for a moment before exchanging looks again, “So anyways, if this bitch is doing some human centipede shit to her do you really think he’s gonna answer the door?” Jimin spoke up looking bored, “I mean for all we know they might be yeeting themselves out a window right- OW!”
Jimin harshly rubbed the spot on his arm Jungkook had previously punched, sparing no mercy in his attack as he shot him an ungrateful look. After another second of silence he pulled out the lockpick kneeling down. There a loud clack causing Jungkook to jumpe before whipping around with a menacing glare, “Are you seriously fucking playing flappy bird right now?”
“What?” Jimin whined out looking up from his phone, his volume at the highest it could go, and it was was honestly a miracle the neighbors from the other apartments hadn’t gone to investigate the commotion, “Don’t look at me like that! It’s the original game, this phones worth like 5k because of it, don’t disrespect the flex.”
Gritting his teeth Jungkook inhaled sharply as he turned back to focus on his work while his useless mogul of a friend continued to play on his phone.
Opening the door he flicked Jimin’s forehead, “Come on let’s get inside before someone see’s us.” Nodding Jimin put his phone away as he turned on the flashlight he had been holding. Stepping inside the dark vacant looking apartment. Everything was pristine but dusty, nobody had been here for days, if not weeks.
Pressing his lips together Jungkook flashed his light around the living room, his eyes scanning over anything that could be a clue until he noticed the laptop that laid on the couch side. Weaving his way over he signaled Jimin to do a sweep over the apartment. Nodding Jimin disappeared down the hallway as Jungkook tapped on the mousepad. The laptop was on ten percent but unlocked without a password.
No signal? Furrowing his eyebrows he opened up his phone noticing there was a WiFi connection for the whole building, was your apartment offline? Why? Biting his lip he attempted to connect to the internet only for a diagnostic message to pop up saying the connection was offline. Just as he suspected. The only answer could be your room mate, just the idea of that shell of a person locking you away from anyone made Jungkook’s blood boil. You of all people would never deserve that kind of treatment. He began to file through your documents, most of them were unfinished essays or thesis’s. But there had to be something here, right?
It made sense though, remembering your last comment the day before you saw you at the party, to not text you.
If the suspect, Kim Taehyung was anything like Jungkook imagined he wouldn’t of been surprised to know he was heavily monitoring all of your devices. This included, thus meaning anything vital to finding you wouldn’t be on here. Sighing he closed the laptop as he heard footsteps.
Looking up towards Jimin who had returned from the hallway, “Cleared, this place must’ve been ghosted weeks ago, powers off and water isn’t running either, lots of dust in the rooms too. Found some pretty interesting shit in the guys room though you might wanna check out.”
With piqued curiosity Jungkook stood up as Jimin lead him back down the hall all the way to the end room, “It was locked when I got here but after a few a few tries I got it open.” Pushing the door open it revealed a particularly plain room. Gray walls with a single window that hadn’t been cleaned in longer then months. Jungkook wasn’t sure what he had expected but the room felt so...lifeless. It was the only way to adequately explain it. Everything was minimal and there was only one book shelf with various items on it next to a dresser. The bed was a twin and nothing else remained in the bedroom. Jungkook’s gaze though stayed on the laptop that sat in the bottom shelf of the book holder as he rose his brows, “Hey Jimin, when was the last time you hacked something?” Walking over he pulled the laptop out as he dusted it off.
Jimin furrowed a brow confused before shrugging, “I don’t know, highschool? Not since that time you convinced me to hack into the intercom to stream Cupcakke and thought it was actually a good idea. I’ve sworn it off ever since.”
“Jimin I was four shots of vodka in when I suggested that, you really can’t blame me,” Jungkook curved an eyebrow as he signaled him over, “Besides you only got suspended for a month.”
Jimin had sat down next to him, taking the laptop into his lap as he cried out almost offended, “A whole month which I got my ass beat repetitively, my mom was fucking livid Jungkook!”
Jungkook puckered his lips before snickering as he replied, “Yeah but that was because not only did you skip school when you did it, but you were also caught in the back drunk.”
“Because you fucking ditched me you jerk!” Jimin snapped back, still sore over the subject as he gave the screenlock a go only to be stopped by the fatal incorrect password system. And that’s when he launched into pulling up the script. Letting him go to work Jungkook said no more, knowing if he did he’d make his friend bail out of unresolved childhood anger.
But whether Jimin was being honest in saying he swore of hacking was true or not he still had his charm as he successfully overwrote the screen lock, “Now sit back and let me see what I can dig up.” Jimin said, a cocky smirk on his lips as he continued to type, pulling up various screens as he began to scan through Taehyung’s emails and documents.
Anxiously a pit began to form in Jungkook’s stomach, this had to give them some sort of clue right? If they weren’t here where could they be? After a few minutes Jimin sighed exasperatedly, running a hand through his hair as he gave his friend an apologetic look, “As far as I’m seeing I don’t know if he has anything on here Kook, I still have a few resources to look through but he where ever he took Y/n...he was thorough in making sure to not leave anything behind.”
Jungkook gritted his teeth as he clenched his fist, exhaling sharply as he looked down towards the ground. Where could they be? If this was a bust Jungkook wouldn’t be able to do anything but wait for the main station to give an update about the licenses plate they had gotten from the mustang. Sighing almost defeatedly he let his hands relax again as he peered beside Jimin at the screen.
Who was variously clipping through the few photos Taehyung had saved in his pictures file. They were mostly of him and Y/n, posing in selfies looking silly. It made Jungkook indefinitely angry again, who the fuck could do this to you? His anger suddenly dissipated as Jimin clipped past another photo, “Wait! Go back!”
Confused Jimin glanced at him as he clicked back a photo, stopping on a precarious one. Taehyung was standing outside an unfamiliar house, it looked fairly dated and he looked like he was still in grade school, posing next to an unfamiliar woman who must’ve been his mom.
“If they aren’t here,” Jungkook licked his lips, stopping for a second, it was a long shot but he was desperate, he was absolutely desperate to find you, remembering your tear stained face as you been ripped away from him and dragged away, “What if they went where he is in that photo? I pulled out his file from the station. His parents are dead Jimin. But what if the house is still in his name?”
“You mean like he inherited it?” Jimin asked furrowing his brow as he glanced back at the photo, “Would make sense, it looks fairly old and judging from the photo there isn’t any neighboring buildings near by.”
Feeling a light of hope stream through his chest Jungkook nodded, thinking for a moment before he asked the question that hung in the air, “Do you think you can get a fix on the location?”
Jimin let out a laugh as he scoffed, curving an eyebrow as he replied, “Kook that’s practically child’s play, I can get it in less then a half hour...Actually now that I think about it, his phone is probably synced up to his laptop, and if not directly then on some sort of social media platform right? It’d be a bit more complicated if that was the case but if his phone is synced I can use it as a tracker to get his exact location.”
Nodding Jungkook swallowed thickly, running a hand through his hair as he stood up letting Jimin get to work as he walked towards the musty window.
“Don’t worry Y/n, I’m keeping my promise.” Murmuring he looked out towards the gritty dark world. He’d find you, nothing nor anyone would stop him.
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dearsadgoat · 7 years ago
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recovery
recently, there was a major fire in my city. a little before the fire happened, i went through probably the lowest point in my life i’ve been in thus far. it culminated into one night of forcing myself to break down a number of walls and fake fronts i put up around me. these stood for about 5 years.
during that 5 year period i lied to myself and tried to trick myself into thinking i was something else so i could fit in with my rapidly changing friend groups, both online and in real life. i started distancing myself from a number of things, including shows, interests, and friends. i pushed away mlp for fear that my friends who were now falling out of it would ditch me if i were still into it. i pushed away my desire to learn music because the relationship between my brother and i only got worse as high school went on. i pushed away old friend groups for reasons so stupid i dont remember anymore.
instead of doing videos for fun and my own enjoyment, i started making them with the intention of becoming popular. i was never good at those and i wasn’t willing to learn to make myself better because i only wanted the success. the worst part about this was the fact that i did it for so long i managed to make myself believe that this was what i wanted, to be making low effort gaming videos on youtube well past its peak. because that’s what I thought I was going to “make it” doing. it should be noted i pushed away a group of youtuber friends before this, who may have been able to talk sense into me.
to this day i have only met one other person who makes videos.
fast forward to a few months ago. back in june, i started a new job, the one im currently working, doing lifeguarding at a pool. in july, my friends and i did our annual trip to anime expo, and aside from some incidents it was fun. i went on vacation with my family to arizona, and we saw a number of beautiful sights. i enjoyed it a lot.
however, this is the end of the fun.
anime expo, as always, brought me the panic of being around so many people. it isn’t the volume of people however, im relatively comfortable in a crowd. its the idea that i can look around in any direction and see people probably way happier and in better places in life than i am. look one way, i see a group of attractive people in cosplay that’s way better than mine. look the other way, i see a group of friends all laughing and clearly have shared interests, unlike my friends where we all have kinda splintered tastes so we don’t spend all the time together at conventions.
i spent a good amount of the convention wandering it with my friend mike. we went as Haru and Rin from Free, him being Haru, me being Rin.
around that time i was having major self image issues. i gained a good amount of weight the months prior, and i couldn’t lose it no matter what i tried, and consistently going to the gym, doing workouts given to me by professionals showing me no change killed my motivation. i couldn’t get myself to even go anymore come june.
so when mike was stopped by 10+ people (i stopped counting after a while) for pictures and to compliment him on his cosplay, meanwhile outright ignoring me, i started feeling like my image issues weren’t just “in my head” like i’d been told. despite this i tried my best to ignore it and move on. except i couldn’t.
the other cosplay i did was a crossplay of Mako Mankanshoku from Kill la Kill. I actually had the right length/hair color for Mako’s hair, so I saved money on a wig and got it cut like hers. the hair actually looked fine in context of the cosplay, however the cosplay in the context of anything was atrocious.
i couldn’t fit into the seifuku i bought, despite being sure to buy a size much larger than what you’d expect. trying to ignore my brain telling me im a fat fuck i improvised with a white shirt and a light blue neckerchief. with the wrong color shoes, basic shirt, neckerchief, basic skirt, and my hair cut instead of a wig, i was the definition of awful cosplay.
i hyped up finally being able to crossdress in public to myself for months. i’ve wanted to crossdress publicly since i was 15. at no other convention in the past did i have the courage. i got rid of pretty much all body hair, and upon finally being able to do so, i thought it was everything i wanted.
looking in the mirror showed me i was nothing more than an ugly fatass trying to look cute. i was the fucking person people at conventions take candid photos of and post on tumblr to make fun of. im sure im gonna one day come across a picture of me in that “cosplay” accompanied with some text about how embarrassing i was.
so with now both my cosplays fun sucked out of them by myself, the rest of the convention went on, but i couldn’t fully suppress the idea that i was unhappy.
the arizona trip i’ll save for another post, it’s a complete offshoot with it’s own backstory.
these are nowhere near all of the events i feel caused enough problems for what happens later, just the major ones. also there’s no way i can write every single thing that’s happened to me and contributed to my sad demeanor over the last 21 years.
after that though, the rest of the summer is a blur, i dont remember anything i did, and i don’t remember starting school again. i just know i’ve been going for almost 16 weeks now.
for some reason, a lot of things that didn’t use to bug me have been bugging me. stuff that I thought i’d grown accustomed to seeing, like the ever poisonous anti-male rhetoric that this site likes to parade. i’ve been on tumblr since i was like 13, i’ve seen it, i should be used to it and know to ignore it, right?
i guess not. every post i see related to something meant to make me feel shitty for being a guy takes another chip at me throughout the day. despite my best efforts i can’t forget them.
i just don’t have the energy to put up with stuff anymore, and it really feels like im out of energy to put into caring about things. i’ve been feeling like this since the beginning of the above five year period of not knowing why i wasn’t happy with what i was supposed to be happy with.
eventually we get to one saturday at work. two pools are being used for an event, the third is being rented out for a kids birthday party. im on the tower supervising the party when my best friend kaylie comes to rotate me. we chat for a sec, and as i start to walk off, she says my name. i turn around and she points at the water. no more than 3 feet from where im standing, two kids are wrestling in the water. except they weren’t wrestling for fun, they were wrestling to get on top of one another and drowning each other in the process. mind you, this is the deepest part of the pool and it’s only like 4 1/2 feet deep. I slide in, hoist up both of them, and launch into the caring procedure bullshit.
i get them out, tell kaylie im going to get a towel, and eventually other guards start asking me what happened. all of the sudden people are toting me as being a hero for making my first rescue withing my first year. you’d think that’s something to be proud of, right?
yeah you’d think that.
i felt nothing. all i had was that i was doing my job, and if it were like ten seconds earlier kaylie would’ve got them. i didn’t do anything special.
of course that ended up as a conflict in my mind, and on the way home i bought alcohol and spent the night drinking alone.
fast forward a few more days, and i get home from work. it wasn’t a particularly hard day, or any major thing happened, just a lot of small little things that chipped away at my patience, a few comments made by coworkers that really weren’t asked for, and this and that ultimately led to me driving home at the end of the night upset.
i get home, and think to myself im going to unwind with some video games. i dont remember what happened or what i was playing, but some major thing happened that led to me calmly turning off the game and turning to my computer to stare at it for the next two hours, only occasionally clicking to something new.
nobody tells you what it’s like to break. partly because, they cant. the way i see it everyone breaks differently. every breakdown i’d had up until that point had been loud, angry, and full of jerky motions through teary, blurred eyes. they were like someone kicking over something i was making in one fell swoop.
this time it felt like i watched someone pick away at the foundation until it all started to slide down like sand.
i broke, at first without tears, questioning what i was doing at that moment, and what i was doing in general. nothing made sense. my head couldn’t keep a thought for a moment. i felt like my chest was caving in. i didnt end up eating anything that night. i honestly can’t describe how i felt and what i did, it was such a blur.
i started going on a nostalgia scavenger hunt. something i had seen recently drove me to want to search out the mlp meetup group i used to be a part of. i found pictures of me and my friends at different events back in 2011, 2012, and i started doing what i can only describe as motioning a whimper. as in, whatever you picture when you think of whimpering, only without sound.
I saw pictures of me being happy, truly happy. i hadn’t been truly happy in the last 5-6 years since these pictures were taken. at least not for more than the occasional time.
as if on queue, a friend from one group of friends i changed myself to fit in with messaged me. i asked him if he wanted to take a trip with me, and i spilled everything.
i confessed to being a liar, a poser, a shitty person who couldn’t even tell his friends that he wasn’t everything he said he was. i told him at one point in my life i had actual ambition and ways to achieve success outside of being the scummy piece of shit i’d become when i became friends with them. (please dont misunderstand, they’re good people, i just had a warped sense of what i needed to do to be their friend back then)
he let me angrily type and rant and have a major breakdown to him without interruption for almost an hour, and finally he paused me and started trying to talk me through this.
after he gave me his piece on the matter, i turned to another one of my best friends, jacob. jacob was one of the irl friends i went to meetups with, and we’ve been friends since middle school. we’re closer than anyone else i know i’d bet, even closer than kaylie and i.
because of time differences, our conversation lasted the next two days, basically telling him everything, that i wasn’t happy with myself, that i haven’t been happy with anything for a long time. the only thing that mattered to me in his response was that nothing was different between us. he said he was going to a therapist soon, and said that i should try it. i have not, and i dont plan to for fear of what i might find out. still, everything he said i took to heart and i thank him for it.
at this point, i decided that i could fix all of this, that i could make myself someone i’d like to be. i was going to work hard and no matter what i wasn’t going to break like that ever again. nothing was going to stop me, no matter the odds.
someone up there must love testing my patience.
a week later, the fire happened. within the span of an hour i had gone from coming home from a test, to helping my mom with the recycling, to rushing home because the sky over our house was brown. the next few hours was me running on no food, a sweaty, ash-covered mess, to get everything of importance out of the house. everything that was too hard to replace was taken. as painful as it was it meant leaving behind just about everything that had value to me, as i took only the things that mattered in a worldly view, not a personal view.
God listened to my prayers that day, and the fires burned half a mile from my house, but no closer. The trail i walked a thousand times growing up was no more. it’s about 4 houses down from mine, to give perspective. everything was black and soot, trees stood with burn marks and missing leaves. The creek was dried up. everything is a mess. i walked out and took pictures of it a few days after, just for memory sake.
that day was a test to see whether or not I was actually going to keep my word. i didn’t break that day, despite wanting to often, and i did what was most important for my family.
since then, i’ve shuffled around a lot of different aspects of my life. a lot of things are changing, and im not comfortable with a lot of them. however, these are good changes. i have to make myself uncomfortable to be able to find what i belong to once again.
and i hope and i pray that this is going to be the time i prove to myself i can break out of this
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spookysummersmores · 8 years ago
Text
Mind Heist - Chapter 7
Word count: 4,310 (In the words of Grunkle Stan..."HOT BELGIAN WAFFLES!")
Author's note: Ohhh, wow...after two long months of brainstorming, editing, and writing additions to the original...this is it. The final chapter.
I know that, when I posted chapter 6 the other day, I said that there would be TWO more chapters left in the story. And that was originally going to be the case! But chapter 7 felt just...a bit too short to me...? And so I combined chapters 7 and 8 into one and ended up with this...4,000+ word long monster. xP
This one is almost entirely just pure fluff, which is always just...a delight to write. Pines family bonding for life. uwu
Also...stay vigilant. Once it seems like you've reached the end of the chapter...scroll a little further. There's a surprise hidden at the very end...
I'd just like to take the time to thank all of you who have supported Mind Heist - especially @raination and @choc-chip-pancakes - and provided such wonderful feedback. It means the world to both me and my bestie, and you provided me so much motivation and so many smiles throughout this whole process. Much obliged; you're sweethearts, the lot of you. 👍💕💞
The person I'd like to thank most, though, is my partner in crime, @ichipine​. This story originated from summer RP shenanigans between us two. It was you who gave me the go-ahead, it was you that gave me so much cute Mabel dialogue to work with and add onto, and it was you who came up with some of the best dreamscape battle tactics I've ever heard. Without your assistance and friendship, I wouldn't have a complete story. Thanks, big sib. Working with you was a BLAST and a half! ^0^ *MAJOR HUGS*
Well...I guess that's all for now. In terms of future fanfiction, I'll be going solo from now on - unless Kaylee or another good friend ever wants to work with me on a fic again, that is! Until next time...see you later, and I hope you enjoy this final chapter. Stay weird, my friends. ^-^ ❤
(As always, PLEASE do not tag any ships. Thank you.)
Dipper and Mabel were soon jolted out of sleep, and they both gasped as they bolted upright in unison. At long last, both of them were safe and sound in the attic of the good old Mystery Shack, and even THAT seemed brighter all of a sudden. Things were finally NORMAL again.
Well...okay, sort of normal.
Dipper immediately began coughing. "Ugh...well...I certainly didn't miss this..." he said hoarsely, sniffling.
Oh, God...it felt as though his head had been hit with a jackhammer. He hadn't had the time to worry about the effects of a mindscape war with a demon on a summer cold for long while in said mindscape. Now he certainly had something to report to his trusty journal about it once he felt up to it: 'If you're fortunate enough to...you know, not die, you'll definitely feel a heck of a lot worse than you did before going to sleep.'
He pulled his blanket up over himself for warmth and then turned to Mabel, giving her a small smile. "Mabel...you did it. I-if it hadn't been for you...Bill...he would've completely wrecked my mind or...or something worse that I...don't really want to think about." He shivered a bit - half from fever and half from the thought of Bill's twisted games. "The way I was feeling in there...I never would have been able to get him on my own. Thanks, Mabel..."
Mabel smiled wide. "Don't worry about it! There was no way I was letting him pick on my brother EVER again...the big bully. That guy just never learns," she said, hands on her hips. She got up off the floor and stretched out. She happened to notice that, even though it felt as though a whole day had passed them by, they'd only been gone for about an hour in the real world.
When she got a good look at her twin, concern set back in. She climbed up on the end of his bed and sat there. "You still seem...REALLY sick though. Like...more like miss-school-for-two-whole-WEEKS sick now. You doing okay?"
"In all honesty? N-not really..." Dipper started coughing again, and rather harshly at that.
Mabel quickly got his drink for him and felt his forehead. You could have used it in place of a kerosene heater. Bill really HAD done quite a number on him...
Luckily for Dipper, about 15 minutes later, the twins both heard Stan unlocking the front door downstairs. "Honey...I'm home!" he called jokingly from the first floor. He climbed the stairs and knocked on the attic door before immediately entering (which kind of defeats the purpose of knocking), grocery bags in hand. He walked in just as Mabel was changing out the cloth on Dipper's forehead. "Hey, kiddo...how're you doin'?" he asked quietly, sounding an awful lot gentler than usual.
"Terrible..." Dipper croaked out from underneath the covers.
"Yeesh." Stan set the bags down on the bed and sat once Mabel scooted off. "Well...I dunno if this'll make ya feel any better, but you're not alone. Apparently, it's goin' around. In the SUMMER. I was IN LINE with some punk who was practically coughin' his lungs up. Only in this weird hick town..." He sighed. "Okay...so I just about bought out the pharmacy."
"Bought it out, or stole everything?" Dipper whispered with a tiny smile and a sniffle. Even in his haze, he couldn't help but tease Stan just a little.
"Haha...very funny, y'little dork. You'd be gettin' noogied right about now if y'weren't so darn sick," Stan teased back, grinning at the boy. "Here we go now. F'real." He started unpacking the bags, and he'd only been half exaggerating about buying out the pharmacy. "Tissues, cough drops, cold pills-" He nonchalantly put a hand to Dipper's forehead as he spoke, but he forgot to hide his concern and stopped cold, eyes wide, when he felt how high the kid's temperature had gotten in such a short amount of time. "Which y'need RIGHT NOW. I could make an omelet on your head. Be right back. Mabel, keep an eye on 'im, will ya?" He popped out of the room, taking Dipper's juice glass with him.
Mabel flopped down on her own bed. "Oh, gosh...you're in really bad shape, huh?" she asked. "I'm awful glad Grunkle Stan's back."
"Same..." Dipper groaned a little and laid back on his pillow.
"Don't you worry, bro. I'll be by your side keepin' you company until you get better."
Dipper was happy to have her company...but he realized something. "Thanks, Mabel. Just...be careful, okay? Judging by what Grunkle Stan just said, you..." He sneezed mid-sentence. "Could catch it. Really easily. Wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy..."
'Then again, Bill would probably enjoy it. The weirdo,' he thought to himself with disgust.
"I'll try to be careful...don't worry." Mabel gave Dipper a grateful little smile. "And heck...quit worrying about me! You're the one Dad could probably use for a grill right now. Just relax."
Grunkle Stan soon stepped back in the room with a glass of water, cold pills, and an ice pack he'd wrapped in a washcloth. "Alllright, kiddo...get this in you before your head...spontaneously combusts or somethin'."
"Thanks, Grunkle Stan." Dipper sat up to take the medicine and went to pick his UFO blanket up when it fell to the floor. Stan put a stop to that, however, when both he and Mabel saw the child become dizzy the second he stepped out of bed.
"Excuuuse me; where d'ya think you're goin'?" Stan muttered to him, sternly, but gently.
"Aww, Dipper, you're supposed to rest..." Mabel stepped over and put a hand on his shoulder to gently lower him back into bed.
"I-I'm good...I'm good," Dipper insisted, though he immediately coughed again afterwards.
"C'mere, kiddo...thataboy..." Stan tucked the kid back in and gently placed the ice pack on his burning forehead. "Now...when I say don't move from that bed, I MEAN don't move from it. Not a big fan of the sound of ya there," Stan said in his gruff, but well-meaning, way. He backed out of the room with the rest of the grocery bags. "Mabel, keep an eye on 'im while I put stuff away...and if he falls asleep, come downstairs and just let 'im go, okay?"
Mabel nodded. "You got it, Grunkle Stan."
Stan nodded back and smiled at his niece. "Good. Rest up, kiddo," he said to Dipper softly.
Once Stan left, as Dipper laid there in his bed, bundled up in a little blanket cocoon, anxious thoughts popped back into his head...but much different ones than before. He hated admitting it to himself, but he was more than a bit wary about trying to go back to sleep. He knew full well that he and Mabel had just seen Bill disappear into the unknown for themselves. And yet...the thought of him possibly still lurking somewhere nearby just wouldn't leave his aching head. Nervous, he poked a hand out and gently began to pet Waddles, who had sensed Dipper's uneasiness and decided to curl up next to him as if to reassure him.
Mabel turned to Dipper, and without him even saying a word, she could immediately tell that he felt uneasy. "It's alright, bro-bro," she said, patting his head lightly to comfort him. "We got rid of Bill...we watched him poof away, remember? You should be safe now. Just worry about getting better...okay?"
Dipper hesitated before nodding slowly, though he still couldn't help but feel at least a little nervous. "Okay..." He sneezed again and cleared his throat. "I guess I'll try to sleep...my head is killing me. Maybe the meds'll kick in faster that way." He slowly pulled himself into an even smaller ball - he slept more comfortably that way - but turned back around for a second to whisper one last message out. "Oh, Mabel...? Thanks again. For everything."
Mabel smiled. "You're welcome!" She made sure her sibling was tucked in just right. "I'll check back later once you're asleep to see how you're doing, okay?"
The boy smiled a tiny bit and nodded as he watched his sister leave the room. Waddles, who had decided to make himself comfortable where he was, kneaded on the bed a bit like a cat would before spinning around and falling asleep at Dipper's feet. Dipper soon surprised himself by successfully clearing his mind and following the little pig to Dreamland.
For the rest of that day and night, Mabel checked up on Dipper and kept him company whenever she could. She made it her sworn duty as 'chief nursemaid and right-hand man of the renowned Dr. Waddles' to monitor his temperature and keep him supplied with fluids, tissues, and throat lozenges. At one point, late in the evening, once enough of Dipper's lightheadedness had subsided and he was waiting for his next dose of medicine to kick in, the twins even played a game in which they would take turns making up a story by drawing pictures on Mabel's dry-erase board. The town's plethora of oddities - supernatural and human alike - provided them with plenty of material to draw inspiration from, so they spun themselves quite a tale. It was around 10:00 when the twins turned in, and for the first night in almost a week, they BOTH found themselves sleeping peacefully that night.
Unbeknownst to either of them, Stan had come up sometime around midnight. He pulled up a rusty old lawn chair from the bowels of the attic storage, parked himself just outside the kids' bedroom door, and stayed there - occasionally nodding off, but never for long - until he'd heard them begin to stir early the next morning. He then made a break for it as soon as he knew that all was as well as it could possibly be.
Though he still had quite a bad cold, Dipper was at least much less feverish when he woke up the next morning. Mabel was immensely relieved and glad to see him feeling at least a little bit better - and Stan would never admit it out loud, but so was he.
Since Dipper was still confined to bed, Mabel's nurse duties continued well into that afternoon. Whenever she came to visit him, Dipper noticed that she wasn't her usual hyperactive self - in fact, she was being...oddly quiet that morning - but he immediately determined the reason why, or so he thought. He'd found himself in an odd state of mental exhaustion since he and Mabel had returned from their mindscape battle victorious, and he figured that his sister was feeling the same sort of fatigue.
At some point, Dipper drifted off to sleep in spite of himself. The next thing he knew, he was brought out of his impromptu nap by a strange sound - a sound that gave him a bad feeling, though he...honestly wasn't quite sure what the noise was at first. He'd only half-heard it.
Had...had he just heard a cat sneeze?
"Huh...wha...?" he mumbled out as he rolled over. "Mabel...did you say something?" He coughed and picked up his watch so he could check the time. It was nearly suppertime, to his dismay. "Aw, seriously? I slept all day?"
Mabel was seated on her bed, working on gluing bits and bobs to various pages of her beloved scrapbook, as she often did on quiet afternoons and rainy days. "Naww...i-it's okay, bro-bro," she reassured him quietly...though Dipper quickly noticed that she didn't sound quite like herself. "You need all the sleep...you can..." Her sentence was cut off when she sneezed again. She quickly hid her discomfort, not paying it any mind, but she could tell by the way her brother was looking at her that he'd seen her. "W-what? Why're you lookin' at me like that?" She laughed nervously.
Dipper sat up. Something was up, alright. She looked paler than he did, and just as flushed to boot. "Mabel...? Are you okay?"
"...Oh, no," she muttered to herself. It wasn't until then that Mabel fully realized what had happened. At least, she hadn't admitted it to herself until then. "Okay, Dipper...I think maybe I got sick, too.." Having admitted defeat, she groaned and plopped down on her bed.
"...Uh-oh."
'So that's what's going on. Should've known when SHE started being QUIET,' Dipper thought to himself.
He wrapped himself up in his blanket, walked over to Mabel's bed, sat beside her, and put a hand to her forehead. Sure enough..."Aw, no, you're burning up!"
Mabel frowned at the discovery. "Yeah...I feel pretty darn sick..." She began to cough, and she sounded quite awful. "H-how are you feeling?"
Dipper winced a little at the sound of her. "Pff, don't worry about me; I'm..." He sneezed. "Fine." He certainly wasn't fine yet, by any stretch of the imagination, but he was much more concerned about Mabel's well-being at that moment. He handed her the box of tissues that had been sitting beside him. "How long have you been feeling like this? How come you didn't tell me?"
Mabel grabbed a tissue and blew her nose. "N-not too long..." She had actually felt herself coming down with something longer than she liked to admit. "I just...didn't want you to get worried while YOU'RE getting better...you know?"
"Aw, sis..." Dipper sighed. "It means a heck of a lot that you've been taking care of me. I really appreciate it. But just...don't forget to take care of yourself, too. You definitely don't want to end up feeling as awful as I felt yesterday. Okay?" He gave her a caring smile.
Mabel smiled back a little and nodded in response. Sometimes, it was almost as if he took the role of a protective older brother rather than a twin.
"Don't worry. We'll get you fixed up. It's my turn to help YOU out. One sec..." Dipper then got up and tried to call down the stairs for their grunkle. That very quickly turned out to be a mistake, for the fire in his throat began to burn twice as much, and it induced another coughing fit.
"SHHH, careful!" Mabel whisper-yelled to him, sounding worried. "You're still sick too, goofus!"
"Wha- what's that now?" Stan hollered back from downstairs, not having heard clearly. "Dipper? That you? What're you doin' yellin', kid? You're gonna bust your voicebox or somethin', and I'm not bein' held responsible for that..." he called up the stairs as he approached the attic. His head soon peeked through the doorway. "Y'okay?"
"I'm about the same as before; don't worry," Dipper replied, sniffling. "Mabel, on the other hand..."
"Hi, Grunkle Stan." Her voice cracked a bit - something that usually only Dipper's voice did - and she cleared her throat.
Stan raised an eyebrow in concern. He could instantly see that she didn't feel well and began to worry when he saw that clearing her throat caused it to ache. "Mabel...c'mere, sweetie." He put a hand to her head -  "Aw, jeez..." - and immediately went to see if he had a second thermometer handy, one he hadn't already used on his nephew. Dipper stayed beside her with a comforting hand on her shoulder as she waited.
It wasn't long before the thermometer beeped and decided to be the bearer of bad news. 100 degrees even. Stan sighed. "Well, that's not good."
"Aw, man..." Mabel frowned.
Stan took a deep breath, then came out with an idea. "...Alrighty. That's it. The two of yas, grab your blankets and pillows and...pigs and what have ya. You're comin' downstairs," he announced. "At least y'can...y'know, watch TV down there." The real reason he wanted them downstairs was so he could keep a closer eye on them both, but he dared not say it.
Dipper put a hand to his head, but smiled a little anyway. "Sounds like a plan to me." He quickly grabbed his blanket and pillow.
Mabel followed suit, wrapping both herself and Waddles up in her blanket. "I'm ready!" she proclaimed softly with a sniffle.
"All good? M'kay. Here we go..." Stan picked his niblings up and draped one of them over each of his shoulders. "All aboard the Stan Train!"
Very, very carefully, Stan carried them down the stairs. The twins used his shoulders as head rests and felt warm and safe in their grunkle's strong arms. He found himself a bit sore by the time he arrived in the living room, but didn't say so, and honestly, he didn't mind.
"Next stop...couch." He gently plopped them both - and Waddles - down.
The kids smiled. "Thanks, Grunkle Stan."
"Yeah, yeah. It's nothin'." Stan brushed it off, but he smiled a little himself. "Now don'tcha move a muscle. I'll be right back." Off he went to fetch supplies for them both.
Mabel tried to help Dipper bundle himself, but he took it upon himself to help her bundle herself up first instead. "You okay?" he whispered, trying not to strain his voice anymore.
Mabel coughed. "I've been better...but I'm okay." She snuggled Waddles close to her for comfort.
Dipper gave her a little side hug. "Yeah. Sorry that I...got you sick..." Then, the twins ended up sneezing in unison, which they couldn't help but snicker at.
"It's okay...I think I would've gotten sick anyways." Mabel returned the side hug. "I liked taking care of you - it was fun! So...I don't mind," she said softly with a shrug.
Dipper smiled warmly at his sister's kindness, glad to have her by his side.
Suddenly, the twins heard talking outside the door to the living room.
"OUT."
"Aw, come on, man-" "But Mr. Pines-"
"No 'buts' except yours away from this door. This area's been quarantined. Now OUT, b'fore I sic the CDC on yas both!"
As the old door creaked open and Stan stepped through, the twins could see Soos and Wendy squeeze their faces through the opening as fast as they could, determined to get their message across.
"Aw, man...get better, dudes!" Soos called through the door, his voice muffled from squishing in between the door and the wall.
"Feel better, guys! We'll sneak stuff in to you later when Stan's not looking!" Wendy managed to yell to them just before - 'click' - Stan shut the door on them.
Dipper and Mabel couldn't help but giggle at their antics. "Bye, guys," the twins called back quietly, hoping the two of them could hear.
Stan dropped tissues and other such supplies on the coffee table with a sigh. "Alright...you knuckleheads both need meds, and I'm makin' soup. And later, I...may or may not be able to...spare some ice cream." He grinned.
Mabel gasped and smiled. "Yes! Ice cream!" she cheered softly before sneezing.
"Bless you," Dipper said...and then promptly sneezed himself.
Stan ruffled the kids' hair affectionately. "Consider yourselves lucky. I don't go sharin' my stash with just anyone, y'know!" He chuckled a little as he disappeared into the kitchen. He peeked back through the kitchen door, for just a second, to make sure they'd gotten settled before getting to work.
Later on that evening, after the little family had sat down together for ice cream and a movie, Stan unraveled himself from the blanket pile on the couch and left the room for just a minute to grab some coffee. When he came back...
"Hey, kiddos, it's gettin' late...whaddya say we-" He stopped as soon as he saw the kids and smiled warmly. "Ha...wouldja look at this..."
The sight before him was too adorable for words. Dipper and Mabel were fast asleep, leaning on each other for support. Waddles had stretched himself across both of their laps, as if he was determined to guard them as they slept.
Stan chuckled - not only because the sight of the twins sleeping was so sweet, but also because he found his mind wandering to the happier days of his youth. Distant and bittersweet as they now were, he remembered them fondly just then, as if they had only occurred a few days prior. Those were treasured days, worth their weight in gold, where, even if sickness kinda killed a fun weekend, it wasn't as bad when there was a good friend to keep you company.
He silently debated whether or not to move the kids upstairs and soon decided against it entirely. "Eh...just let 'em sleep, Stan," he mumbled to himself. "They're comfortable where they are. No use disturbin' 'em both."
He was about to turn the TV off and depart for his bedroom, but he hesitated. He just couldn't bring himself to leave the kids alone. So, he just sat on the opposite end of the couch - gently, so as not to wake them.
Just as he went to check the kids' foreheads, Mabel suddenly coughed a bit in her sleep, rolled over, and hugged Stan's arm. Dipper murmured something in his sleep, and his head fell over onto Mabel's shoulder.
"Awwww..." Stan put his arm around Mabel. "Sweet dreams, pumpkin." He slowly reached his arm over Mabel's head and ruffled Dipper's hair. "G'night to you too, kiddo."
Mabel smiled in her sleep, as if the message had gotten to her regardless of her slumber. Dipper did as well and wrapped one arm around Waddles, who oinked happily in response and went back to piggy-snoring.
Stan kept his arm around the kids for the rest of the night. He had had no intention of falling asleep, but the cuddle pile had a rather soothing effect, and so he soon joined his niblings in slumberland in spite of himself.
In another couple days, to Stan's relief, Dipper and Mabel bounced back from their colds completely. Almost immediately, the tween sleuths were back to exploring the gigantic oddity that was Gravity Falls, where countless other summer adventures - and misadventures - awaited them...somewhere in the woods...
the end
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sisky-bizz · 7 years ago
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Match your weakness to a name || Awsten
Cold sweat prickled at the back of Awsten's neck as he carefully shuffled free of Andy, draping the pink blanket back over him before clambering quietly off the bed. His heart raced, his limbs trembling as he stumbled over to lean over the rubbish bin in the corner of the room, throwing up out of shock. 
Images flashed in his mind of the dream, as vivid as he remembered it played out before him. He sank quietly down on the floor, hugging his knees to his chest as he took deep but silent breaths. The last thing he wanted was to wake Andy, after nights of not sleeping well the younger had finally passed out, though Awsten was sure it was pure exhaustion that dragged him into the sleep. After minutes of listening to his heart beating in his ears, Awsten reached for the discarded sheets of crumpled paper by the bed, not bothering to read the messy scrawl as he turned the sheet over, grabbing for the pen that lay abandoned beside. 
Beeping. That high pitch noise that rings in your ears. It always makes me think of hospitals. Doesnt it? Thats all I can hear. A few nights now I've woken to the beep. Beep. Beep. The sound of a heart beat. His heart. Its scary to think that the annoying noise that rings so clearly in a hospital room is a mirror of the life inside of a person. A person you love, i guess, if you're visiting in a hospital. Unless its your own. I don't know which is worse. It sounds real as it bounces around inside of my head. Beep. Beep. Each count thudding inside of my body as I watch, closely, for the rise of his chest that accompanies it. It chills me, to think about it. To see him lying there. To know that those machines are keeping him alive. Though nothing is worse than when the bleeping stops. That's when everything goes cold and I wake up to throw up. Tonight is the first night I have been instantly reassured by the soft breaths of him sleeping beside me.  Sometimes i feel my own heart stop with it, when the dream ends and I can't find him. In an instant I am back there, listening to a man shout my name, feel the crack of my ribs beneath his heavy hands. I don't know if you're meant to remember dying, though Im not sure if I actually died. All I remember is growing cold, slick with sweat yet frozen still as everything faded to black. I've never spoken to him about it, the fear and the regret and the guilt of that night. The guilt that flooded every inch of me when I realized that my own father had resuscitated me with his own hands. Those same hands that saved him too. His actions mirrored some 8 years later on no other than my boyfriend. I cant imagine what flashed in my father's mind, on either occasion. And for that, I will always hold a pang of guilt when I look at the man who raised me from birth, the man who saved me from death. It was fear on his face as I raced into that room, as his hands gripped my shoulders as I screamed and fought against him. The only thing I could think or feel was Andy.  Andy. Andy. Andy. Lying there as I was. I don't think I could describe the flood of emotion through my chest, causing me to sob into my father's embrace. What I remember clearly is the desperation to see him, to hear his breath or a snarky comment that could assure me that Andy was okay. These dreams I dont want to concern him with, I don't want to cause more worry or upset than he is already experiencing. Yet im afraid the worry i feel is growing more and more and slipping into the way that I act. I can"t help but panic when I wake up without him, without knowing where he is. It reminds me that I should never have stayed with Katy that night, I should have gone after my boyfriend and offered comfort. But Katy had cried, and Andy had denied any affection to either of us. I felt vulnerable, and I empathize with her for that. That does not mean that I do not regret my decision not to follow him. I slept soundly through the few hours that he tried to end his life. When Hayley burst into the room my heart stopped. I felt it freeze in my chest before legs were moving, carrying me towards the infirmary. I could feel my heart racing then, as I do now. The vomit threatening to rise, to choke me again. I remember my father's grip as he tugged me away from Andys bedside, as he ordered me to leave. But I couldn't listen, I couldn't move or function. I wonder if I should tell him, sometimes I want nothing more than to give him hell for what he made me feel...
Andy had tried to kill himself, using drugs that I had provided. That guilt floods over me once again, causing my body to become heavy. I can only blame myself. If it weren't for me, he wouldn't have been presented the opportunity to overdose. It eats at my mind until im sick. I let him do it. He could have died because of my carelessness. Although I blame myself, part of me also blames Katy. She told me I couldn't have known, that I don't know his history.  But surely she had to have known what this would do to him? To find out that she was pregnant, with his child, and had kept it secret without the intention to tell him? Cruel, that's what it is. It is cruel. I dont blame him for reacting the way that he did. However, There is a part of me that fully understands her motivation to hide this part of her life, the fear that drove her to be secretive. She tried to protect him, and herself. And I can't hate her for that. Since the accident, i have spent almost every hour I was allowed by Andy. I can't bare to pull myself away, to leave this hospital and not know whether he is okay. It scares me, and it is all I can think about until I'm back here. Who in the history of the human race felt comfortable in a mental hospital? Maybe Jodie was right about me being a patient here. Which reminds me, that I am almost certain my twin hates me for this new found love interest. Despite her relationship with Cody. I love my sister, my twin, and I do believe that we are one in the same person. But in my years of being her twin, I haven't ever seen her react the way she did. Holly hurt me, and it sounds almost juvenile to write it. But she did. And as far as I understand it was jealously that caused her to try to rip a chunk from my throat with her teeth. She apologized, but that side of Holly confused and shocked me. I've decided that she needs a muzzle before I kick her ass at Mario Kart.
Then I’ll tell her that Andy is my boyfriend.
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