#my version of these two are the definition of platonic soulmates/found family

[noperopesaredope]

Jacob & Coco Across the Universe (Post-Canon Collector AU): My OCs

Due to the fact that my other Collector-centric AU is practically MADE of OCs, I decided to not make too many OCs for this particular AU (also, I’m lazy). However, I did make two to serve an important role in the story. These are the bounty hunters.

Worm:

(he/him) A hardened bounty hunter trying to capture the Collector with the help of his trusted partner, Worm is a legend amongst the intergalactic community. Despite being a magic-less mortal from a not particularly advanced planet, he has managed to cement himself as a dangerous foe, and is not to be taken lightly. He does have a small advantage that has helped him along the way: he is able to make enchanted weapons. Similar to Luz, he has no magic, but he has found ways to manipulate it, though rather than using written language, he primarily uses the spoken language of the stars. This allows him to make certain enchanted weapons, though it is a relatively difficult process, and can take a couple of hours, especially since most of them must be made of special materials. But he is nevertheless excellent at his craft.

However, the enchanted weapons aren’t exactly what makes Worm a terrifying foe. He’s just extremely skilled at figuring out exactly how to defeat his enemies. He is more of a long term planner than anything, tracking down his opponent and observing them for a period of time before deciding on the best attack strategy.

Worm is serious and reserved, with a closed off personality. He’s definitely the gruff guy who's been mostly disillusioned with the world, but he doesn’t have too tragic of a backstory, so he doesn’t angst all that much. He also keeps his word, as he finds promises to be extremely important, and it can take a lot for him to break one.

The only person who has any true sway over Worm is Lacta, and though he won’t admit it, he does care deeply for her. He almost never gets close to anyone, but she somehow managed to worm (hehe, worm) her way into his heart. They don’t have romantic feelings towards each other, but they are basically platonic soulmates.

We don’t get to know too much about him over the course of the story, especially since I don’t have too many ideas for his personality, but he’s hopefully gonna be pretty cool.

At first I was planning for him to be relatively big and buff, but then I decided against that. He’ll probably actually look like a slightly more muscular (and masculine presenting) version of Double Trouble from She-ra, but with purple skin, a very different outfit, a special pattern on his face, a different outfit, and much shorter hair. I’ll draw him and Lacta at some other time, but this is just a basic visual description for now.

Lacta:

(she/her around close friends and family, but they/them around everyone else. Gender-fluid either way) As Worm’s bounty-hunting partner and longtime (platonic) companion, Lacta knows her stuff. She may not exactly be a prodigy like him, but she is very good at her job. They prefer to take on multiple smaller bounties rather than one big one, as they are less about the planning and observing and such, and more about the “thrill” and “the chase.” She prefers to burst in ready for a brawl, and unlike Worm, she prefers it when her “prey” knows that she is after them, kinda like a wolf. They’re not evil, I promise.

They are what is called a “sub-celestial” or “mega-mortal”. Basically, they aren’t quite as powerful as a celestial, and they definitely aren’t immortal, but they are quite strong, and you don’t want to mess with one. Honestly, Titans would likely be categorized as a “mega-mortal” species. Lacta herself is a Zethspheri, a species that we gradually learn more about through subtle hints as Lacta occasionally mentions things about her species that cause her to act a certain way.

What we immediately find out about Zethspheries is that they are very difficult to hurt or kill, have an extended lifespan, and possess various magical abilities, though it is hard to determine their limits. Lacta is noted to be a particularly strong Zethspheri, with a lot more energy and endurance than most. They seem virtually unkillable, as many of their (mortal) targets have tried to end them, but they always get back up again. They can most definitely be defeated by, say, a fully grown Collector or adult celestial (though they would still put up at least a bit of a fight), and if they are battling someone with better abilities/a lot more experience than them, then Lacta will likely be defeated. However, in this case, she is facing off against a human and a very young celestial, and she has access to a few weapons capable of combating Coco, so she has an advantage over the duo.

Lacta has what seems like two sides to her personality, though they don’t have a split personality or anything. One side is the one that most people have heard of: a ruthless, determined bounty hunter who will track you down and capture you no matter what you throw at them. They enjoy chasing people down and fighting, which is why they sometimes can be seen with a slightly unhinged smile whilst “on the hunt.” She is a feral person, and almost ruthless. She has probably killed at least one person at some point. She cannot be broken by anyone, no matter what they say or do. However, though not everyone knows it, Lacta does have a strong moral compass. They are fine with capturing adults of all sorts (though they will hesitate to capture someone who is wanted dead for non-violent crimes), but they refuse to hurt children. This is partially because of their personality, and partially because of their species/culture.

The other side of their personality is a little bit like Scorpia from She-ra, but if Scorpia was the mom-friend. Lacta is surprisingly friendly and enthusiastic, and can be very gentle when she wants to be. They definitely give off chill mom vibes, and though they won’t allow their “children” to do anything too stupid, they aren’t afraid to join in a few shenanigans and be playful and fun. They absolutely adore children and are great with them.

They actually have the space equivalent of a degree in childcare, and planned to become the intergalactic equivalent of a social worker/member of CPS. Unfortunately, due to pressure from her broader community and even some on the intergalactic stage, she became a bounty-hunter instead. She does legitimately like the job, as she has choice over what jobs they want to take on, and, being a Zethspheri, they enjoy “hunting” and stuff. But the idea of working with and helping kids also deeply appeals to them.

The reason they accepted the offer to track down Coco is because they were told that Coco is a runaway kid whose family wants them to return home. But since Coco is “rebellious” and Lacta’s employers don’t want to make too much of a scene, she needs to track him down and carefully capture him without hurting him. The story was made to be realistic enough for Lacta to believe it, but she had a few small doubts in the back of her head.

Lacta looks a lot like Zethrid from Voltron, but with a different outfit and four arms instead of two. She’s also a bit more buff around the arms, and might have slightly different legs depending on my mood. But they both look very similar.

~~~~~~~~~~~

So that’s all I have to say about these two! Hope you find them at least somewhat interesting. I’m pretty sure you can guess what I might do with Lacta at the very least, but I won’t confirm anything for now until I get my full outline of the AU out!

Feel free to send me asks or whatever about these two. I’ll admit, I have a lot more to say about Lacta than I do about Worm, but I’m working to make him at least a bit more interesting. So ask away, since it might honestly help me flesh these two out more!

[acacia-may]

Magna x Luck? I don't strongly ship them but I can only see them ending up with each other platonically or romantically.

Hi there anon! Thank you so much for the ask! 💖

(The yellow denotes my opinions regarding their friendship whereas the pink "not my cup of tea" is in regard to the relationship in a romantic sense).

BINGO!! 😁 Yay! (Is using both pink and yellow cheating? I made up the game so I guess it’s my rules, right? 😅😂 But maybe I just really wanted that bingo...)

Excited (and possibly incoherent) ramblings and headcanons under the cut...

Gosh this may be my BROTP to end all BROTPs (thus why I felt I needed to whip out the yellow 😅)! I absolutely adore Magna and Luck! (I actually have a magnet of fanart of them hanging up on my refrigerator!) They're two of my favourite characters in the series, and their dynamic is so incredibly wonderful! I love how much fun they have with each other while also always supporting each other and striving to help each other become the best versions of themselves. It's so sweet to me how much they admire one another without realizing it. For instance, Magna always feels like he's falling behind Luck when Luck really thinks Magna is great and an amazing rival and he wants to get stronger so he can match him.

I have the biggest soft spot in the world for found family, and Magna and Luck really embody that too! Magna was an orphan, and Luck had a bad relationship with his mom prior to becoming an orphan. However, they really did find a family in each other in the end. My heart is so full just thinking about it--especially since they really do deserve this wonderful bond they have with each other! 💖🥰 After all, Magna is just such a sweetheart--even if he tries to act all tough, he's really just the biggest teddy bear and a true and loyal friend, and Luck may be a little lightning gremlin but he has a heart of gold and loves his squad family very deeply, (even if his go-to method for expressing affection is to pick fights with everyone 😂). They're so freaking cute--I love them!! 💕

It was clear they were buddies from the beginning, and their bantering and sparring dynamic was lots of fun (their first introduction where they're fighting over the pudding just brings the biggest smile to my face every time!). I really didn't expect the series to go into their relationship any more than that, but then we got all of that wonderful background and those flashbacks about how they became friends and how much they care about and really respect each other in the underwater temple. (Honestly that sea temple was a magical place for Black Bull friendships all around! 💖) Not to mention what might be one of my favourite moments in the series, when Magna, Vanessa, and Asta save Luck, and Magna hugs him, reassuring him that he is cared for deeply and will always have a home and a family with the Black Bulls. 🥺 To be perfectly frank, I probably cared more about that hug between Luck and Magna than anything that has happened or could possibly happen between any characters I actually ship in a romantic sense in this series (sorry not sorry to my BC ships 😁). Friendships are what Black Clover does best in my opinion, and nothing against romantic ships but the platonic bonds between the characters are just infinitely more interesting to me than the romantic ones--Luck and Magna's is definitely at the top of that list, and I don't have words to describe how much I just adore their friendship from the bottom of my heart! (My sister teases me that I get as swoony over friendships as most people get over romantic ships, 😅 and this is one just one of my all time favourites, in anything, ever). 💜💛

To be honest with you, viewing it as a romantic ship isn’t really my cup of tea. They are very much brothers and family in my mind—something deeper than what we usually think of as friendship but not in a romantic sense (the term “platonic soulmates” comes to mind)—but I think the fact that their bond is a platonic one doesn’t diminish the depth of the love, affection, and respect that they have for each other. One of the things I love about Black Clover giving friendships the spotlight is that it shows that just because a love is platonic, doesn’t mean that it is any less deep or beautiful than a romantic love, it’s just different. And I really think there is something very beautiful about their friendship and the care they have for each other. 💖

It is really difficult for me to see Luck with anyone romantically, personally, (at least, as he is right now)—he just has a lot of deeply-rooted personal issues and problems from his past that, I think, he needs to work through before being in a romantic relationship, and even if he did find healing from those someday, it would still be hard for me to imagine him having much of an interest in romance (but that's just me and my personal interpretation 😅). However, I couldn't feel more strongly that he and Magna will be together forever in a platonic sense! They are platonic soulmates as far as I'm concerned, and I really can't imagine there being a scenario where you'd have one without the other. Wherever Magna goes, Luck won't be far behind and vice versa. Even when they're in their 90s, they will probably be trying to spar with each other in the magical old folks' home. 😂

I'm going to cut myself off because this was a lot of rambling, but yes, I love them as friends so, so much! 💖 If I felt I could do either of them justice with my writing, I would absolutely write a story about them and their friendship one day. (I have read some good ones written by others though so many thanks to the fandom for that! 💕)

Some headcanons about their friendship:

The absolute truth is that Magna doesn't really like pudding as much as everyone may think, but once, shortly after he and Luck joined the Black Bulls, Luck took his pudding at dinner by mistake leading to one of their first ever sparring matches--and Luck keeps taking his pudding to this day in order to recreate the scenario of one of their first fights. However, Magna was never really upset about the pudding specifically, but it was rather the fact that his food was being taken [because of his upbringing as a poor orphan, he learned to appreciate any and every bit of food that was given to him and didn't want any of it to be taken away. (It is quite the adjustment for him to have access to a near constant supply of food via Charmy's magic, but he gets there in time)]. Luck didn't/doesn’t quite understand this so he continues to take Magna's pudding thinking it's his favourite food so they can spar with each other. Realizing this, Magna always makes a big show out of Luck taking his pudding (it's never disingenuous but he is definitely doing it because he knows these sparring matches are important to Luck), and he eventually comes to appreciate pudding because of what it means to his and Luck’s friendship. 💜

Luck's love language is "Fight me!" (I'm not really sure if this is really a headcanon or just the truth 😂), but Magna's is quality time so they always feel appreciated by each other since they spend their time fighting together. 😊

When they are not hanging out just the two of them, they also love spending time with Vanessa. They visit the restaurant that she starts with Charmy in the future so frequently that they often get mistaken for working there.

Magna and Luck are basically a packaged deal, and no one ever really sees one without the other. Like I mentioned above, I can't really see Luck with anyone romantically, but if Magna was ever in a relationship and settled down with someone, I imagine that Luck probably lives with them (or in a tiny house in their backyard or something)—but he would never be allowed to babysit any kids they may have. 😂

One year for Magna's birthday, Luck stayed up all night trying to make him pudding from scratch. Charmy had to come to the rescue around 3 in the morning after all Luck had really succeeded in making was a huge mess!

Magna and Luck work together to develop a modified version of the "baptism" to play with their Black Bulls nephews and nieces--though there is a bit a disagreement in that Luck thinks there should be more sparring (and he isn't allowed to fight with any of the kids--at least not until they get their grimoires).

In the future, after the squad changes hands several times, Magna eventually becomes the captain of Black Bulls, and Luck becomes his vice captain. Whenever he is addressed, it is always, "Captain Magna, sir...and Luck!" Luck always beams and puffs out his chest with pride whenever he is remembered, and it never fails to make Magna smile. 😊

Magna and Luck are absolutely adored and idolized by the new generation of Black Bulls when they are the Captain and Vice Captain respectively. Many of the members are their beloved "nieces and nephews," but there are several newcomers as well. Similar to Captain Yami, “Captain Magna” and Luck love letting the underdogs and misfits onto their squad, and they often leave the magic knights entrance exams with lots of out-of-the-box candidates that none of the other captains wanted (trying to give other kids the chance that Captain Yami gave them back in the day). They come up with lots of wild ideas and fun games for the new generation of Black Bulls to play together too (Magna has a real knack for coming up with ridiculous “team building” exercises--a lot of which are just modified versions of games he and Luck used to play with their generation's Black Bulls or with their nephews and nieces when they were younger).

As they grow older, Luck worries that Magna might be becoming too responsible and boring (especially when he becomes a magic knight captain) so he invents "the boring stick" which is essentially the mediaeval fantasy equivalent of a pool noodle that he uses to (gently) bop Magna on the head when he's acting too responsible, too grown up, or otherwise too boring.

When Luck has nightmares about his traumatic childhood or his time as an elf, Magna will walk with him up and down some of the corridors of the hideout or in the grounds outside if the weather is nice until he lets out enough of that nervous energy to fall back asleep, no matter how late it is. 💛

Even after they have long since retired from the magic knights and are well into their old age, they still somehow find time and energy to try to spar with each other--especially if Luck takes Magna's pudding. 😁💖

Thanks again for your ask, anon, and for playing bingo! 🥰

[neon-u-dumb-shxtty-child]

I’m bored so Ranbutler brainrot! :D

They/Xe/It pronouns!

They/Them, Xe/Xym, It/Its

Xe and John John were brothers until Billiam took Ranbutler away

Their name is Matthew cause I say so

A Jack Of All Traits, seriously

Terrifyingly good at using a gun, thanks to Sherman

Xe and Hubert were very close, so when Hubert decided to run away, he wanted Matthew to come too, but xe declined

In their words, ‘The egg is all I’ve ever known.’

Loves to sing, but doesn’t think xe’s any good at it

Afab non-binary cause I’m afab non-binary and it makes me happy

You know Gina from Bojack Horseman, her voice when she sang Don’t Stop Dancing, that’s what I think Matthew sounds singing

It and Billiam are the closest of friends cause they can actually relate to one another

Strains xys voice so it sounds deeper

Ram hybrid because I don’t see xym as an enderman hybrid

Xys eyes are purple

Had long black hair that covers one eye

✨ Freckles ✨

Basically Onion Cookie from Cookie Run as a child

Emo/j

Constant back pains

Braids Billiam’s hair when xe can

Loves to read and will ramble on and on about a topic if you don’t stop xym

Xe and Billiam like to talk to each other, but both always wait for the other to approach

Has anxiety

Billiam likes hearing them rant and talk about their interests because they seem so happy talking about it

Gay for Billiam/hj

I’m out of stuff to say 😬

I love them :]]

[aphrostarot]

Relationship Evaluation Pick a Pile

Let's dig deep into the relationship with the person you are thinking of.

*It does not have to be a romantic relationship*

Please remember that this is a general reading and some things may not apply to you. Don't force it to fit. I offer paid readings on my page if you would like a personal reading. Prices are listed there. Please message me if you are interested!

Pile One (Fuchsite):

Who is the person you’re thinking of?

The Lovers and The Femme Fatale:

Based on the energy I am getting from this pile, I would say that this is definitely a person that you are in a relationship with, with whom you also want to spend your future with. They emit soulmate energy, and are very warm and inviting. It feels like you’ve waited your whole life for this person and they’re finally here. With The Femme Fatale coming out to represent this person it shows that this is definitely a person who is very very attractive and that there's a magnetism between the two of you. You are constantly being drawn together. There is definitely some lust and some sex appeal in this relationship. The two of you really desire each other. You feel like this person is a little mysterious but when you're with them it's like all of the pieces connect.

How do they see you?

The High Priestess, Knight of Pentacles, and The Coquette:

The High Priestess shows that this person sees you as a very mystical and magical person. Having the Knight of Pentacles come out alongside it describes that they feel like you are a dream come true. They have waited for you for so long and now that you are here it is like magic, which explains the reason why they think you are magical. They also see you as someone who is very slow-moving and as someone who takes their time with everything in life before making decisions. The Coquette in Oracle is somebody who is very flirtatious, they love attention and they're very attractive. They think you have major game and that you are very sexy.

How do they feel about the relationship?

Ten of Pentacles:

The Ten of Pentacles shows me that they see you as someone with whom they can build an abundant future. They have this dream of accumulating so much abundance that they can settle down and be a provider for their family, and they want you alongside them in that journey.

What are you ignoring about this person?

Knight of Cups:

Having the Knight of Cups come out as something that you are ignoring about this person shows me that you are blinded by the lust of this relationship that you are willing to ignore that this person is not as mature as you would like. They view romance through rose-colored glasses and are willing to do whatever it takes to be in a relationship, but they are not really willing to settle down right now.

What is the relationship based on?

Knight of Wands:

This is a highly sexualized card and having it come out as the foundation of your relationship shows me that the two of you are lost in the lust of your relationship. You two may be at the very beginning of your relationship or you are still stuck in the honeymoon phase. The two of you can not keep your hands off of each other. We do know with the Ten of Pentacles that they see you as someone they want to spend their life with but with this card it is showing me that you two are not yet in the position to begin that conversation. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing it just shows that the two of you need to grow a bit more.

What is the future of your relationship?

The Fool:

Having this card come out in a future position is a bit hard to interpret because it represents beginnings. So, this is confirming that the two of you may be at the beginning stages of the relationship or are still in the puppy dog phase. We know that the two of you have feelings for each other and want to spend your lives together but your guides are telling you that the future of this relationship is up in the air. According to them, you don't need to know the future just yet.

What lessons are you going to learn from this relationship?

Six of Cups and Clover:

The Six of Cups is the card of soulmates, of past life relationships. This relationship will teach you what a soulmate relationship feels like. You have lived all your life without being with a soulmate and now, you are in one which will help teach you what it feels like to be in a relationship with someone who truly gets you and is your soul counterpart. Clover in Oracle tells you to release your guilt, and it feels to me like you have been holding on to this guilt in your life because you feel like you need to bear your wounds and that they define you. Your guides are telling you this is not the case with this card. You can learn from your past mistakes and grow from them. You do not have to be defined by the mistakes you have made, and this relationship will help you to do just that.

Pile Two (Rose Quartz):

Who is the person you are thinking of?

The Queen of Wands and The Queen Bee:

The Queen of Wands is an extremely ambitious person. They are constantly trying to climb the career ladder and are willing to do anything to get what they want. They are also being represented by the Queen Bee in Oracle, and this is the stereotypical Regina George card. This person is a leader of sorts but only because everyone around them fears them. Based on the energy I am getting from this pile it feels like this person is a friend and not a romantic partner. This feels like a friend that you are falling out with.

How do they see you?

Eight of Cups and The Heretic:

The Eight of Cups depicts a person who is leaving everything in their life behind them as they move on to newer things. This person sees you doing just that. They think that you are leaving them in the dust and moving on to other people. They also see you as The Heretic who is often viewed as a rebel, the person who goes against what society wants and is punished for it. Your friend sees you as this person. They think that you are leaving them and they do not like this.

What are their feelings about the relationship?

Nine of Swords:

The Nine of Swords is the card of depression, anxieties, and insecurities. This person is extremely anxious about you leaving, they think that you could do much better without them and they do not want this. Seeing as they are the Regina George type I think that they do not want to leave because they want to control everything and be on top and they view you as a threat.

What are you ignoring about this person?

Ten of Swords:

Your guides are telling you that the thing you are either unaware of or choose to ignore is the idea that this person isn't mean just because. They have gone through a lot in their life which has caused them to become this mean person. This is not an excuse, but merely an explanation for their behavior. They want you to be aware of this moving forward so you won't view this person as completely evil without reason. Please be aware that they are in no way trying to guilt you into doing anything.

What is this relationship based on?

Death:

This relationship is built on death, not literal death. When the two of you got together you both had gone through a death cycle and you both became friends because you needed people. According to the energy, I think that both of you have changed greatly since then. You turned into a healthier version of yourself and they became a mean person. Since then, you have grown apart. According to your guides, this relationship is based on old versions of yourselves.

What is the future of this relationship?

Three of Cups:

As the Three of Cups is all about joy and celebration, having this card come up in a relationship would usually indicate that there will be celebration in the relationship. However, I don't believe this is the case here. Your celebrations will be separate from your relationship, as you two will be celebrating as individuals. Once you leave this relationship, you will become even better versions of yourself, and that is the reason for the celebration.

What will you learn from this relationship?

Six of Pentacles and Voyage:

The Voyage tells you that you already have all the answers in front of you. This is interesting because when I was shuffling for this question, I had a hard time getting answers out of the decks, which makes sense with this card telling you that you already know the answers. This card indicates that you have been feeling lost for a while now and have been trying to find answers outside of yourself, but the answers can be found inside of you. Having the Six of Pentacles come out is your guide’s way of saying that you may need to find another person to talk to. They say that it is easier to talk out your emotions with another person than to try to figure it out on your own. A friend, a family member, or a spiritual advisor can be an excellent source of support. You can also dm me if you wish!

Pile Three (Amazonite):

Who is the person you are thinking of?

King of Swords and The Queen Bee:

The King of Swords is very a very aggressive and manipulative person, who can oftentimes be represented by a male figure. This person is watching you and judging everything you do very harshly. The Queen Bee is essentially the same thing, but more of a Regina George type. They are very harsh and manipulative, choosing to lead with an iron fist.

How do they see you?

Eight of Swords and The Mastermind:

They see you as a competitor, someone who could be an even better leader than them. They do not like this at all. Which explains the Eight of Swords, which represents being caged in. They want to keep you in their view and proximity so that they can control you. Regardless of whether this is romantic or platonic, it doesn’t matter because it is still toxic.

How do they feel about your relationship?

Death:

This card coming out tells me that this person has lost their feelings towards the relationship. They are no longer interested in you in a romantic or platonic way. This feels like a keep your friends close and your enemies closer type of relationship. I do not think that you are aware of this and I am sorry that you are going through this.

What is something you are ignoring about this person?

Ten of Swords:

I think that you are aware of this person’s dark past, and how much they have gone through. I think that you thought you could help fix them when the two of you got together and this is not the case anymore. They no longer have feelings and they are keeping you around to control you which is very toxic. You may be aware of how toxic your relationship has become, but you choose to ignore it.

What is this relationship based on?

The High Priestess:

Secrets underlie this relationship. You really like this person and you really want to make it work but this person doesn’t. It is not a good relationship for you anymore, and your guides don't want you in it. They say that this is not right for you and that they have been trying to get your attention for some time now. They are pleading that you listen this time and leave this relationship because it is not good for you at all.

What is the future of your relationship?

Page of Wands:

The Page of Wands coming out as a future outcome in a relationship is not favorable. It shows that this relationship is not going to progress into anything. It will maintain where it is from here on out. I am very sorry because based on the energy I am receiving from this pile it feels to me that you are really trying to make this work. However, your guides do not want you to stay in this relationship anymore, they want you out as soon as possible. They have been trying to tell you this for some time now and I feel like you may be slightly aware of this but are choosing to ignore it. Your guides are saying that now is not the time to ignore it anymore, you need to leave.

What lessons will you learn from this relationship?

The Lovers, Universe, and Castle:

Through this relationship, you are learning more about yourself. Because this person does not give you what you deserve, you are learning how you should be treated and how you should be loved. You are learning your worth from this relationship. The Castle is telling you that it is time for healing, not war. It is time for you to end this relationship and heal yourself, not fight for it. You are being told by the Universe that there are more fish in the sea. It may sound cliché, but this is what your guides want you to know. Someone will give you so much more than what this person is giving you.

Pile Four (Amethyst):

Who is the person you are thinking of?

Ace of Pentacles and The Gamine:

The Ace of Pentacles represents foundations and new beginnings. This person that you are thinking of has recently started a new career and is building a new foundation for themselves. The Gamine in the Oracle deck represents someone who is very confident within themselves and is a very free spirit. They are an extremely charming individual who makes friends wherever they go.

How do they see you?

Four of Swords and The Maid:

This person sees you as someone who has been hurt a lot in their life and that you are currently going through a period of rest, trying to heal yourself. The Maid in The Oracle deck shows that they see you as someone who is very secretive and that you are taking the back burner in life. Stepping back and observing everyone but making sure that others do not notice your presence.

How do they feel about your relationship?

Knight of Pentacles and Seven of Cups:

Based on the energy I am receiving from this pile it feels to me that this person is a potential love interest. I think that you do not know this person or that you just became friends and you have a crush on them. I can tell you with that Seven of Cups coming out that they have noticed you too, they see you as a potential option. The Seven of Cups shows someone who has a distinct journey they want to be on but they have lost their way. I think that you are who they want to be with on their journey but that they are still trying to figure out how to get to you. The Knight of Pentacles is showing you that this person is going to take their time with coming forward, it will be a slow process.

What are you ignoring about this person?

Six of Cups:

You are unaware that this person is your soulmate. I feel like a part of you thinks that it may be them but that you have never experienced a soulmate connection so, you do not know for sure what it feels like. Your guides are telling you that this person is your soulmate. They are someone that you have spent lifetimes with and it looks like you will spend another with them.

What is your relationship based on?

Seven of Pentacles and Three of Wands:

The Seven of Pentacles is all about growth, so that being said this card is showing me that your relationship will be based on the two of you growing together, healing together. This person will help you to heal all of your past wounds. The Three of Wands is the card of teamwork, which shows that the two of you make a great team. You will work very well together, which will help you heal and grow together.

What is the Future of this relationship?

Justice:

Justice as a card is represented by the law and the court system so it is worth noting that the future of this relationship would result in marriage. But just based on the energy I am receiving with this pile I think that the Justice card is saying that when you get together the future of your relationship will allow each other to grow into your Divine selves and you will overcome all of your traumas together. That's the justice. Marriage could be a possibility though but not for some time.

What lessons will you learn from this relationship?

Three of Cups and Protest:

If you look at the picture of the two of these cards you can see that they both depict three women who are facing away from the viewer. Representing teamwork and collaboration. You will learn how to work well in a team with this person. We know that you have taken some time away from people because of your past and this relationship will help you to do that. The Three of Cups represents celebration so this relationship will also teach you how to celebrate your wins and losses. Protest tells you that you will learn how to take a stand and voice your opinions with this person. With the Justice card coming out too the two of you may even participate in some protests. You both will learn to stand up for what you believe in and help others as well.

Though tips are not required, they are very much appreciated. Thank you!

Venmo: @ aphrostarot Paypal: paypal/aphrostarot

[inhonoredglory]

i dont think you ever received my last ask a while back, but now i gotta know what ur favorite duos are! (platonic or romantic!) - armin anon

o h mygod forgive me dear armin nonnie!!! the last weeks of school threw me off and then the trollhunters trailer hit and I got distracted. but I hope you’re still out there hearing my answer. I really have fun chatting with you, so thanks for this second question!

My favorite duos, oh gosh. I could even talk about my favorite trios, the character relationships in SNK are so well developed and rich.

Erwin and Levi

My top duo is of course Erwin and Levi. (My summer project is to make a receipts AMV of all the wonderful things Isayama and others have said about the pair.) Their closeness is something else, built on such mutuality, maturity, and love. Erwin looks like a devil to everyone but Levi, who sees his innocent humanity; Levi looks cold and unemotional to everyone but Erwin, who sees his compassionate nature. Erwin changed Levi’s worldview––allowing him to see beyond his own small world to a bigger one, where freedom was possible. Levi saw the darkest side of Erwin’s heart, and still trusted him implicitly, believing in him and selflessly giving up his own need for Erwin to stay in his life in order to give him peace and redemption instead. And as Isayama said,

“Levi had always seen Erwin’s goal of doing things for humanity’s future as an unimaginably altruistic act, and made it his life’s mission to reach the same heights.”

And with that final act of letting Erwin die, Levi did just that––become selfless in the hardest way possible. To let go of the person that gave your life meaning, because in death was healing, in death was innocence, in death was love.

Are they romantic or platonic? To me, love is beyond those labels. People can be romantic with each other and not really have real love. People can have real, dedicated love and never ever kiss or want to. Levi and Erwin share an undeniable soulmate bond, and while there is definite signs of romantic Eruri (Isayama hinting Levi’s type isn’t women, but tall people; Erwin getting flirty in supplemental short stories), to me the important part is that they are each other’s special person and that’s why I adore them so much.

(Artist: rozavay)

Jean and Armin

Because Jean and Armin were two of my first faves from the show, I naturally gravitated to the pair. What I adore about them is how much each one of them defends the other, desperately rushing to each other’s aid on the battlefield and trusting one another. Going through the manga, I found a really touching moment when Armin was fixing a prisoner's gag (the man who had sexually harassed him) and getting visibly disturbed. Jean felt that, and intercepted the moment, getting Armin out of that situation. Jean’s actually really good at detecting people’s emotions, so it was beautiful to see him sensitive and caring with Armin.

I don’t see them as romantic, but I enjoy some good Jearmin just the same, and there’s something to be said for Jean’s canonical jealousy of Armin spending so much time with Eren. Armin’s just that good a catch LOL.

Jean and Marco

Marco changed Jean’s life, gave him a reason to be more than himself. He believed in Jean, trusted him, and encouraged him. I find it incredibly moving that Jean keeps coming back to Marco to remind himself why he chose the life he did.

I totally got on board the ship with this amazing fic about the two of them: To Everything There Is A Season by flecksofpoppy

Canonically, I don’t believe it’s romantic, but they share the deep, beautiful bond of one person owing their entire life’s purpose and sense of meaning from the other.

(Artist: kaa05n2)

Bertholdt and Reiner (+Titan Trio)

Since Bertholdt was my bean in season 2, I really felt drawn to his relationship with Reiner. My sister loved Reiner too, so this duo was a good one for us both to enjoy. Bertholdt was always so insecure in himself, afraid to do or say anything in the big scary, foreign world he was dropped into as a child warrior. He relied on Reiner, and yet so often he couldn’t access him emotionally, since he was dealing with their tragic lives in his own way. He had to grow to be Reiner’s anchor, while still awash himself. They fought for each other more than for their homeland, fought for the things they both came to care about growing up on Paradis, and they were inseparable. Bertholdt risked his mission to see if Reiner was okay in the Return to Shigonshina arc, and he drew strength from Reiner’s trust in him to make his own choices and act on his own in that battle as well. As much as it pains me to see him fulfill his character growth in such a dark way, I still have a spot in my heart for him and his friendship with Reiner.

Levi and Furlan (+Underground Trio)

I got hit in the face with this relationship after I read the No Regrets manga, which shows so much more than the anime version regarding the equality in trust between Levi and Furlan. In the manga, Levi didn’t have subordinates (denying the term for them), he had friends who he had made his family. Levi bet all their lives on Furlan’s plan, and when he went on his first mission, he had such a falling out with him because Levi wanted to protect him and Isabel. Furlan was so grieved by the darkness in both Levi and Isabel’s hearts and put everything on the line because he believed he needed to get them out of the darkness of the underground. Their relationship is a beautiful insight into Levi’s early years and his inherent compassion and deep care for others.

^ The Levi Ackerman actually stopping to hearken to the command of someone else (who’s not Erwin lol), trusting in Furlan’s bigger plans with this stranger than just merely kicking him out, like Levi wanted to do.

Armin and Eren (+Shigonshina Trio)

The entire rooftop sequence and serumbowl shows how much Eren (and Mikasa) care and love Armin. In a way, Eren and Armin are the mirror for Levi and Erwin, with Erwin’s bigger dreams of the world outside the walls turning Levi’s motivations, built on tragedy, into something positive and forward-looking. Likewise, Eren’s darker need for anger and revenge is turned into something good and innocent when he shares in Armin’s dream. Armin’s hope makes Eren feel confident. He believes in him even when Armin doesn’t believe in himself. And of course, that painful way Armin tells him, “I’d never lie to you, would I?” because he knows Eren would never let him go through with his selfless mission if he’d known what he meant to do. To Eren, Armin is a better person than he’d ever be.

Now why couldn’t we have just ended the whole show right here lol?

Ymir and Historia

One of the few explicitly canon romantic couples in SNK! Their story is tragic, beautiful, and inspiring. Each one of them telling the other to be free of society’s expectations of them, to stop living for other people and to live for themselves––together. The change in Ymir, going from someone selfish to someone who would die for Historia’s happiness, is a gut-wrenching thing to watch. Their shared arc is complex, messy, and struck through by the goodness of a young girl who found the humanity in someone who never thought themselves worthy of love.

aaa I think that covers my favorite duos in SNK!

[puppywritings]

you make it feel like christmas - kim doyoung x gender-neutral reader 

⇢   synopsis: when you entered your job a few years ago, you found your best friend, doyoung. the two of you were partners-in-crime, platonic soulmates. however, during a drunken phone call with doyoung’s mother, she catches the wrong idea and invites you to spend christmas with their family… as doyoung’s partner. ever the mama’s boy, doyoung doesn’t want to disappoint her. and you? you’re counting down the days until you can stop this lovers pretence and slap your best friend upside the head.

⇢   word count: 5.6k ⇢   trigger warnings: alcohol use resulting in minor memory loss, swearing, slight suggestive references. this piece is suitable for all audiences! 

⇢   a/n: this is my piece for @pastelsicheng​ and @dearyongs​‘ a taste of winter collab. quick disclaimer that doyoung’s family in this fic may not represent his real life family situation, however this is a work of fiction and isn’t meant to mirror real life. i don’t know doyoung, nor do i know his mother, and the characters represented in this writing are fictitious versions of them. furthermore, the christmas traditions depicted in this story are mainly based on my own experiences celebrating the holidays in england.

⇢   taglist: @hunjins​ @ahgase55g7​ @mmoondance​ @notnctu​ @orange-nimon-cross​ @yeoshwa​ @infnteen​ @neonun-au​ @luvlala​ @neo-shitty​ @yutacrush​ @ethaeriyeol​ @fairyinaflowercrown​ @in-my-neofeelings​ @dreamieofu​

"All I want for Christmas is youuu, baby!"

Doyoung's voice was almost deafening in your ear, which would've been a problem if you were sober. Your voice, too, merrily drunk and far too loud, belted out the holiday tunes. Your best friend's arm was slung around your shoulder, and yours was around his waist. It was like the blind leading the blind, however; neither of you were keeping your balance very well. The two of you staggered together, navigating the city's streets back to his apartment.

The Christmas party that your office held would have been okay without your favourite coworker - you would've had a good time and enjoyed yourself, sure. But with Doyoung's presence, paired with the copious amounts of alcohol, it had been a riot. Even if you had peaked too early and had to depart by 11pm. 

Doyoung was, undoubtedly, the best part about your job. The workload wasn't overwhelming, nor was it tedious, and the salary was nothing to sneeze at. But, without a shadow of a doubt, the best thing your job had ever provided you with was the opportunity to meet your best friend. Doyoung was your platonic soulmate, and your favourite person.

"Hey," Doyoung slurred, calling out to you suddenly. "Is that your ringtone?"

Squinting, you listened closely. "No, Doie," you hiccupped. "I think that's your ringtone."

"Oh, shit,'' Doyoung mumbled, diving into his coat pocket to retrieve his ringing phone. "My mom! She's facetiming."

Your vision was blurred, but you very vaguely saw Doyoung answer the call, bringing up his mother's image on his phone screen. Though you’d been best friends with Doyoung for a few years, you’d never met her. Doyoung lived and worked alongside you in the city, but his mother lived a while away in the countryside, and so your paths had never crossed.

"Hi Mom," Doyoung waved at her.

"Doyoung? Where are you?"

"I'm walking home, Mom," he responded, beaming at her through his phone.

"You sent me a strange text message," she told him, her voice raised a little more than necessary - Doyoung had mentioned that she was somewhat inept when it came to technology. 

"Huh?" Doyoung looked confused.

"Something about lunch the day after tomorrow," she elaborated. "Doyoung, you aren't coming home for the holidays until next week, right?"

"Ah," Doyoung said, understanding. "That was meant for somebody else, sorry Mom."

"My boy," you heard her tut, and you laughed. "Is someone there with you, Doyoung?"

"Yeah," Doyoung nodded, "Y/N is here."

"Hi, Mrs Kim," you waved, as Doyoung turned the screen towards you. If you weren't so drunk, you would've been nervous about meeting your best friend's mother for the first time. Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on how you looked at it) your bloodstream was mainly rum at that point, so you had absolutely no worries nor qualms. 

“Kim Doyoung! Why didn’t you tell me you had a partner?” his mother blurted out.

“Huh?” exclaimed Doyoung, utterly confused.

“Oh Doyoung, you must bring Y/N home for the holidays! I can’t wait to meet them,” she cooed.

“Mom, wait-”

“See you two next week!” she cheerily said her goodbyes before hanging up, disappearing from the screen and leaving the two of you in silence. 

Doyoung looked at you. You looked back at him.

“Did she…” you began, not quite wanting to end your sentence.

Doyoung nodded gravely. “She thinks we’re dating.”

The look on Doyoung’s face - eyes wide, lips in a straight, serious line - it was too much for you. You snorted, gripping his arm as you buckled in laughter. He wasn’t far behind you, bursting into a fit of giggles too. You and Doyoung loved each other, that was indisputable. But it was completely and entirely platonic. The two of you laughed together the rest of the way home.

As you were coming to your senses the next morning, you groaned. Why the hell did you feel so lousy? you wondered, full to the brim with self-pity. Your head pounded, a throbbing ache so strong you were certain somebody was banging pots and pans in your brain. Your throat was so, so dry, and you felt as though you could drink a whole gallon of water and still be thirsty afterwards. And then the memories of the previous night came flooding in.

Ah, you thought, Now it all makes sense.

You sorted through the events of last night, mentally flicking through the filing cabinet of your memories. A filing cabinet that was sorely empty when it came to the night prior. You remembered arriving at the party with Doyoung; you remembered the first few drinks, but following that your memories began to fade. You remembered Doyoung pressing a sloppy kiss to your boss’ cheek - a rather stoic middle-aged man - and you had no doubt that Doyoung would be apologising profusely on Monday morning. You had absolutely no recollection of the walk home, but since you had awoken in Doyoung’s spare bedroom, you supposed the night could have gone worse. At least you made it home safe.

Begrudgingly, you threw back the blankets and lifted yourself out of bed. Doyoung - bless his heart - had left you some painkillers and a glass of water on the bedside table. You consumed both of them gratefully and emerged from the spare room, wincing at the sunlight that met you. As you made your way down the hallway, whistling met your ears. How Doyoung could be so lively after a night of heavy drinking, you had no idea.

“Why the hell do you never get hungover?” you grumbled at him as you entered the kitchen, finding him at the stove.

“Good morning to you, too, sleeping beauty,” he greeted you with a smile.

“Seriously,” you continued as you took a seat at the kitchen island, “I swear I get hungover enough for the both of us.”

“Thank you for taking on that burden,” Doyoung replied sweetly, which you responded to with a spiteful glower. It doesn’t last long, however; Doyoung finishes cooking breakfast, and dishes you up a serving. Sausages, bacon, scrambled eggs, baked beans, hash browns, and toast. As much as you playfully bickered with Doyoung, he was an absolute treasure.

“Doie, you’re a gift from the heavens,” you praise him, the sight of the warm, greasy food reviving your soul almost immediately. 

Doyoung took a seat next to you, placing down a plate of his own breakfast. “So,” he began, “How much of last night do you remember?”

“Huh?” you asked, suddenly wondering if you’d forgotten something drastic. “Did we…”

“Oh my god, no,” Doyoung denied quickly.

“Thank fuck,” you sigh in relief. Your best friend was attractive, definitely. But you saw him as more of a sibling than a lover.

Doyoung waited a moment before explaining, and with each second that passed, your suspicions rose. “My mom… She’s invited you to spend the holidays with us.”

“Oh!” you exclaim. That confession was a lot tamer than what you’d expected. “Sure, that sounds great. I was spending the holidays alone this year anyways.”

“There’s a catch.”

You dropped your knife and fork onto your plate. “Doyoung,” you groan, “Why is there always a catch?”

“My mom thinks we’re dating.” Doyoung pointedly avoided your eye contact while he spoke.

“And you corrected her, right?” you asked, fearing the worst. Doyoung’s silence only confirmed your fears. “Right?” 

“She was so happy when she thought I was dating someone! And she’s been on my back about settling down forever,” Doyoung rambled, trying to save himself from your wrath - to no avail.

“Doyoung!”

“Please, Y/N. It’ll only be for a few days,” he pleaded, clasping his hands together and giving you his very best puppy-dog eyes. And you had to admit, they were some top-notch puppy-dog eyes.

You gave a resigned sigh, and Doyoung cheered. “Fine. But only because I really want to try your mom’s cookies.”

“You’re the best friend in the world,” Doyoung complimented you, wrapping his arms around you in a tight hug. You whined at him, fighting the urge to bat away his affections; in your hungover state, you were not at all ready for hugs.

“Then make me some more hash browns,” you grumbled. If Doyoung was prepared to put you in this situation, he’d better also be prepared to pay you for it.

“You got it, best friend,” Doyoung beamed at you, getting up to obey your command. “You should pack those Christmas pyjamas you’re wearing, by the way. My mom would love them.” You scowled at him. He immediately backed down, waving away his previous statement. “We can figure out the logistics later.”

“You better make this worth my while, Kim Doyoung.” When he served you your hash browns, you were still scowling.

As the taxi pulled up at Doyoung’s childhood home, you couldn’t help but marvel at it. You raised a hand to the cab’s window, looking out at the idyllic cottage, rooftop covered in snow, decked out in twinkling Christmas lights. The environment had grown increasingly more peaceful as you had travelled out of Seoul and deeper into the countryside, picturesque hills and winding valleys rolling past the train windows. This place felt worlds away from the hustle and bustle of the city, and it was difficult to feel even slightly stressed. Even if the situation your best friend had put you in was less than ideal, this was an absolutely beautiful place to spend the holidays - it looked like it had jumped straight out of a Christmas card.

Despite the beautiful winter wonderland before you, you still weren’t prepared for the cold that hit you when you stepped out of the cab. You busied yourself getting the luggage from the trunk while Doyoung paid the driver.

“Are you ready?” Doyoung asked you, looking into your eyes sincerely.

You sighed. “Ready as I’ll ever be.” You gave him a smile, reassuring him. The truth was, you were truly excited to spend the holidays with Doyoung and his mother; you were excited to meet her, to eat her home cooking, to hear stories about Doyoung in his youth. You just had some qualms about the whole fake relationship pretense, and you really didn’t want to let your best friend down.

“Y/N?” Doyoung spoke, taking bags out of your hands.

“Yeah?” you asked, watching wistfully as the taxi drove away.

Doyoung smirked at you. “Just try your best not to fall in love with me for real, okay?”

You rolled your eyes so hard they practically fell out of your head. “You wish.” Just as the cottage door swung open, you reached for Doyoung’s hand, holding it tightly. So began the relationship charade.

“Doyoung, my boy,” his mother beamed, coming out to greet her son. It was hard not to smile upon seeing her - she was clearly over the moon to see you and Doyoung, and her joy was infectious. She was a small woman, but you had gathered from Doyoung’s description that she certainly had a big character. She welcomed her son into an embrace, kissing his cheek. “You don’t visit home enough, Doyoung,” she chided lovingly.

“And you must be Y/N,” she spoke, moving her gaze onto you. She looked at you fondly, and you beamed back at her. “You’re so beautiful,” she praised you.

Your cheeks, already red from the cold, blazed a little brighter. “Thank you, Mrs Kim.”

She wagged a finger at you. “Mrs Kim, you make me sound so aged. Please, call me Mom.” She turned around, welcoming the two of you inside, and you shared a smile with Doyoung. 

The interior of the cottage was every bit as charming as the exterior. Family photos decorated the walls, and warm rugs hugged the floors. You supposed the home would have a cozy feeling all year round, but now, in the festive season, the place was dressed up to the nines. Lavish paper chains were strung up, along with twinkling lights and boughs of holly. Not to mention the Christmas tree; though not huge it was still sizeable, likely the biggest Mrs Kim could fit through the cottage door. It was embellished with golden tinsel and crimson baubles.

“Your home is so beautiful,” you commended. “Did you decorate yourself?”

“All by myself,” Doyoung’s mother confirmed proudly.

“This must’ve been a beautiful place to grow up,” you marvelled, your comment pointed towards Doyoung, who smiled back at you appreciatively.

“Oh, the stories I have about Doyoung growing up,” Mrs Kim said, and you detected a mischievous tone.

“I can’t wait to hear them,” you grinned.

“And see them!” she added. “I have so many photo albums.”

Doyoung groaned, while you and Mrs Kim laughed in the presence of his misery. Yes, you decided. You were going to enjoy this visit very much.

When you settled into bed that night, you were beyond exhausted. Doyoung’s mother had kindly set you up in the spare room, which was delightfully warm and snug. Doyoung’s childhood bedroom contained only a single bed, whereas the spare room had a double bed to accommodate you - the ‘couple.’ Though it had only been a few hours since you’d arrived that afternoon, the gravity of your situation had well and truly sunk in. The performative affection you and Doyoung had been carrying out was alien, equal parts strange and comical.

“I can’t believe the amount of times you called me Honey today,” Doyoung scoffed amusedly, dressed in his blue flannel pyjamas with his dark hair laying flat and fluffy on his forehead. He turned off the big light to leave the room illuminated by the warm glow of the table lamps, before climbing into bed beside you.

“Mock me all you want, Doyoung, but I think I put on a pretty convincing performance,” you return smugly.

“Well, I can’t imagine it’s hard. I’m very easy to love. You on the other hand?” Doyoung faked a weary sigh. “I have my work cut out for me.” You flicked Doyoung on the forehead, snickering when he yelped. 

You yawned, depositing your phone on the bedside table and snuggling down into the blankets. Though you were exhausted, and the cottage was immensely cozy, it always felt a little strange to fall asleep in a new place. You were thankful for the company of your best friend, who always put you at ease.

“I hate sharing a bed with you,” you grumbled your complaint. Despite the comfort he brought you, he wasn’t the easiest person to sleep with. “You starfish. I always wake up with, like, one centimetre of bed space.”

Doyoung dropped his phone, letting it fall onto the blankets. He looked at you, eyebrows raised. “One centimetre?”

“Yeah, one centimetre!” you insisted.

“Well, I always wake up with your cold feet on my legs,” he rebutted.

“Yeah, well-” you sputtered. “It’s not my fault you’re a living hot water bottle!”

“And it’s not my fault you’re always cold. Yet I’m always punished with your horrible cold feet.” You laughed back at him; the normality of your bickering helped to put you at ease.

“Let’s get some rest,” you suggested, yawning again. “I don’t wanna miss your mom’s cookies tomorrow morning - I wanna try them while they’re warm.”

“Mmm, good idea,” Doyoung agreed, eyes wide with the thought of his mother’s cookies.

“Goodnight, butthead,” you teased your friend, turning off the lamp beside you.

“Sleep well, idiot,” he replied fondly. 

Thoughts of warm chocolate-chip cookies were the last things on your mind before you fell asleep, and you were lucky enough to have them drift through your dreams that night.

As you slowly woke up, gradually returning to the land of the conscious, you first became aware of how delightfully warm you were. A light winter sun was shining through the gaps in the curtains, bathing the room in a soft white light. You sighed, hugging your pillow closer to you, but  furrowing your eyebrows in confusion when you found it to be much firmer and less pliant than a pillow.

“Nice to see you’ve finally awakened. You drooled on my pyjamas.” Doyoung’s voice was gentle, and lacked any real annoyance.

“What time is it?” you asked, rolling off the boy.

“Half nine,” he told you, looking at his phone screen. You digested the information as Doyoung got out of bed, stretching his muscles which had stiffened from sleep.

“Now that I’m finally free,” he stared at you pointedly, “I’m gonna take a shower. There’s another bathroom down the hall if you want to wash up.” You nodded, accomplishing your own satisfying stretch in bed.

A while later, fresh and ready for the day, adorned in your favourite comfy sweater, you made your way downstairs, trying to dampen down your high, high hopes for cookies.

“Good morning, Mrs Kim,” you greeted the woman with a smile. A smile that increased tenfold when you saw she was, in fact, in the middle of preparing cookies.

“I already told you to call me Mom, darling,” she chastised gently. “Did you sleep well?”

You gave her a nod, silently thinking about the several times you woke up to Doyoung kicking you through the night. 

“Lovely,” she commented. “I’m making cookies, would you like to help?”

“I’d love to,” you answered honestly. “Your cookies are kind of famous back in Seoul. Doyoung never stops talking about them.”

“That boy and his cookies,” she remarked with affection.

Doyoung’s mother set you off to work making another batch of mixture, as she began her duties with the rolling pin. The two of you worked in a comfortable silence, and you marvelled at how much she put you at ease. She was a warm lady, the kind of mother figure a person is lucky to have.

“Y/N, I want you to tell me everything,” she spoke after a while. “How did you and Doyoung meet?” 

“Ah,” you mumbled, gearing yourself up to talk about your fake-boyfriend. “Well, we work together. I joined the company about two years ago, and Doyoung was the one to show me the ropes.”

“Was it love at first sight?” Mrs Kim asked you sweetly.

You turned away from the cookie dough, choking a little at the mention of romance with Doyoung, as you remembered the first time you met the man. 

You were almost trembling as your new boss showed you around the office; this was your first “grown-up” job and you were the very definition of nervous. You were thankful for your brand-new black blazer which covered the sweat stains that you knew were building. 

“And this,” your boss introduced you, “Is Kim Doyoung. He’ll help you settle in.”

“Hi. Y/N Y/L/N,” you offered Doyoung your hand to shake, which he accepted. 

Doyoung waited for your boss to leave before speaking. “So,” he began with a smirk, “How hard did he try to be ‘relatable’ and ‘down with the kids?’”

You hid your laugh behind a cough. “He’s a little out of touch, huh?”

“A little?” Doyoung raised an eyebrow, laughing alongside you.

“Is it okay to talk about the boss like this? We’re supposed to respect him, right?” you asked your new coworker, a little uncertainly.

“Ah, Y/N, of course we respect him,” Doyoung tutted at you, before adding, “To his face.” 

Doyoung had you in stitches your entire first day. Though he tried not to show it, you hadn’t seen anybody try so hard to help you become comfortable and calm. He had been easing your nerves since day one. 

“Yeah,” you confirmed as you recovered.  “I think it was.” Maybe it wasn’t love at first sight in a romantic sense, but the two of you definitely connected on a personal level right away.

“So romantic,” Doyoung’s mother cooed as she rolled out the dough. “What do you love most about him?”

“Hm.” You paused, taking a moment to think. It was true that you loved a lot of Doyoung’s qualities - he was your best friend after all. He was always supportive, an ever-present shoulder to cry on. He was funny, and kind, and pleasant to be around. You always had fun together. “I love a lot of things about him,” you answered truthfully.

“He’s wonderful, isn’t he?” she agreed with you jovially, to which you smiled and nodded. “Now, I don’t want to rush you,” she continued, “But will you and Doyoung be giving me grandchildren any time soon?”

You choked on your spit, just as Doyoung entered the kitchen, coming to your rescue.

“Speak of the devil,” his mom noted affectionately, as she loaded the full trays into the oven.

“Cookies?” Doyoung’s eyes glinted hopefully. His hair was still damp from the shower, dripping and leaving wet droplets on his plain white t-shirt.

“Yes, in about fifteen minutes,” she confirmed. “You can wait that long, right?”

“Oh,” Doyoung moaned, “I don’t know. I can feel my life escaping from me as we speak.” He collapsed at the kitchen table behind you, falling onto the chair as he pretended to faint. You chuckled at his antics, reaching over to ruffle his still-wet hair adoringly. You caught his mother looking over at the two of you fondly, and you smiled, a little self-conscious. 

It felt more natural than you’d imagined, being cute and cozy with Doyoung in this false relationship. You supposed your friendship was a little more affectionate than you realised. Now that you thought about it, there was a certain tenderness that was common between the two of you - aside from the constant snipping and bickering, that was.

You’d never considered that you could be suited to a life outside the city, but the longer you spent in the charming countryside, the more ideal it felt. On your second morning of your winter break, you and Doyoung had donned your warmest winter gear (hats, scarves, and gloves included) and set out on a walk down the rustic lanes that your best friend had once called home. Though there were no eyes on you, and logically you didn’t have to keep up your fake-dating pretence in these hidden moments, shared only by you and Doyoung, the two of you held hands as you ambled down the snow-covered roads. It was an unspoken act, and one that felt strangely comfortable and oddly natural. You didn’t accredit too much thought to it; best friends could hold hands, if they wished to.

“We’re almost there,” Doyoung told you, after a short time of walking.

You tilted your head in confusion. “Where?” You hadn’t thought you were walking with any specific location in mind - you’d assumed the pair of you were meandering through the countryside with no direction.

“You’ll see,” was all he said, leaving you wondering.

Not long later, Doyoung directed you towards an opening in the shrubbery at the side of the lane, maneuvering himself over a stile before helping you over. The field you found yourself in was empty, the normally green meadow blanketed in completely untouched white. The only thing standing in the field, other than you and Doyoung was an old, rather dilapidated-looking barn. You imagined it once blazed a beautiful scarlet, although the years and the weather had chipped and faded its coat, leaving it a patchy maroon.

“Who does this belong to?” you asked, reclaiming Doyoung’s hand as you approached the barn together.

“I don’t know,” Doyoung countered. “Nobody, I think. It’s been abandoned as long as I can remember.”

“It’s a little creepy,” you commented apprehensively.

“Don’t worry, there aren’t any ghosts,” Doyoung mocked you, although it was devoid of any cruelty.

The door creaked as Doyoung pushed it open, and you didn’t entirely trust it not to fall completely off its hinges. The interior of the barn was a dark contrast to the stark white of the winter wonderland outside, although some sunlight filtered through the gaps in the wooden structure.

“Welcome to my secret clubhouse,” Doyoung introduced you. Your hands fell apart, as Doyoung left your side to venture to the back of the dwelling, finding a rickety swing that hung from the rafters, constructed of two pieces of rope and a plank of wood. He sat on it, swinging lightly and you were surprised to find that it managed to support his weight.

“How many of your romantic conquests have you brought here before me?” you teased, examining his hangout.

“You’re the first.”

The barn wasn’t particularly exciting, but there was a certain buzz to be derived from gaining a little bit of insight to Doyoung’s past. The floors of the building were no longer lined with hay, but dirt and dust, featuring intermittent weeds and plants. A tree had reached its spindly branches inside the structure, intertwining itself with the beams and pillars. You perched yourself atop an old stool that was sitting amid the weeds and rubble.

“Did you put that swing up yourself?” you asked, eyeing its stability.

“Yep,” Doyoung confirmed. “All by myself. I climbed right up into the rafters to fasten it.”

“You’re lucky you didn’t hurt yourself,” you remarked. The barn was a rather significant height, and it can’t have been safe for a young boy to scale the wooden bones of the building, likely aided by the serpentine branches of the oak tree. 

“When I was a kid I thought I was superman,” Doyoung said, and you could see him reminiscing internally. You watched, captivated, as he looked around the tattered old barn which was clearly a sentimental place for him. He was beautiful, your best friend. Eyes that shined, dark as the night; a nose that sloped almost perfectly; pink lips that looked best when smiling. Though the winter was a cold one, your heart was warmed by your love for Doyoung. The two of you sat in a comfortable silence, simply existing together without any demand or pressure to make unnecessary conversation.

“We should get back home,” Doyoung spoke after a while, standing and stretching. “My mom is making hotpot for lunch.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice,” you said with enthusiasm. Spending time with your best friend, taking walks through the beautiful countryside, and being fed homemade dishes for every meal. This Christmas holiday may just be the best thing to ever happen to you.

Christmas morning came much more swiftly than you expected. The homely atmosphere of the cottage, the domestic haven where Doyoung spent his youth, felt like a sweet sanctuary that existed outside of the linear flow of time. Early morning walks down dew-covered lanes gave way to plentiful lunches that you savoured, which morphed into homely afternoons that eased into sleepy evenings around the fireplace. It was the sweet retreat you hadn’t realised you’d needed, and you were remarkably upset that you had to return to the city the following day.

“I know it’s not much, but I hope you’ll put this to good use,” you grinned at Mrs Kim as you handed over the Christmas present you’d brought her. She unwrapped the parcel, although the shape didn’t quite leave room for a discreet gift, to reveal a bottle of red wine.

“I’m sure I’ll find some way to use this,” she responded, a teasing twinkle in her eye as you shared a laugh together. 

“Y/N,” Doyoung spoke, handing you a small box wrapped in festive paper. “Here.” He was already wearing the watch you had gifted him with. You peeled back the wrapping, opening the box to find a delicate silver necklace, hanging from it a shining silver jewel. It looked expensive; you wouldn’t be surprised if it was a real diamond.

“Wow,” you gasped, at a complete loss for words.

“Let me put it on you,” Doyoung offered, and you let him. 

“It’s beautiful,” you smiled at him. “Thank you.” He smiled back sincerely.

Doyoung’s mother reached under the Christmas tree, bringing out two identically wrapped packages, square-shaped and squishy. “You kids open your presents together; I made them matching for you.”

You tore into the paper, opening the bundle to reveal a mass of knitted wool, soft and burgundy. You lifted it up to reveal a beautiful, intricate Christmas sweater - and noticed that Doyoung was holding an identical one.

“They’re so beautiful, Mrs Kim,” you complimented her, a little starstruck; though you knew Mrs Kim had handcrafted them, they looked like they were bought from a shop. They were of the most perfect quality, and looked splendidly snug and cozy.

“Yeah, thanks Mom,” Doyoung added, admiring the material. He waited until she looked away, taking a sip of her hot cocoa, before turning to you and muttering “Matching Christmas sweaters?” accompanied by a fake gag. You looked away, finding it almost impossible to stifle the giggle that bubbled up within you. They were beautiful, and you were endlessly grateful for the homemade gift, but Doyoung’s comment had amused you.

Mrs Kim looked at you with a knowing expression, and you couldn’t help but wonder if she’d noticed the exchange.

“Now you know I wasn’t kidding about my mom’s homemade cooking,” Doyoung said as he worked on the mountain of dishes in the sink.

“You really weren’t,” you agreed, stood next to him with a towel to dry the porcelain. You typically weren’t such a big fan of turkey, but something about the way Mrs Kim cooked it meant that it was surprisingly delicious. You had gone back for several helpings of the meal, encouraged by Doyoung’s mother, who seemed to derive pleasure from keeping people well-fed.

“I need a nap,” Doyoung declared, and you shared his experience of full-stomach sleepiness.

The pair of you finished up in the kitchen, and moved to the living room where Doyoung’s mother had relocated.

“Ah!” she stopped you in the doorway, before you could enter. “Look.”

You followed her pointed finger, to the green sprigs hanging in the archway. Mistletoe. Doyoung gave an awkward chuckle.

“Mistletoe for the lovers,” his mother chortled gleefully.

Doyoung captured you in his embrace, and your heart began to beat a little faster - was he really going to kiss you? You closed your eyes as he moved into you, and felt his lips peck your forehead. You smiled, before pulling him in for a kiss on the lips. In the spirit of Christmas. Doyoung’s eyes widened, and you laughed as his mother cheered. You followed her into the living room, making yourself comfortable on the couch that had no right being as cozy as it was. Doyoung’s cheeks were still red when he joined you, taking a seat on the couch alongside you.

The television was on, playing some old Christmas movie you vaguely recognised but had never seen. You brought your legs up onto the couch, snuggling into Doyoung’s side and nestling in further when he wrapped his arm around you. The film was already halfway through, and you were too sleepy to pay attention. It wasn’t long before you began nodding off to sleep, and you knew Doyoung was doing the same. Comfortable and relaxed, you let it happen, easing into a well-deserved nap with your best friend. Just as you fell into the unconscious, you sensed Doyoung’s mother draping a blanket over you both, and you smiled gratefully before letting yourself go.

“Taxi’s here!” Doyoung announced from his point of watch at the front door.

“I can’t believe you’re leaving already,” Doyoung’s mother pouted.

You agreed with a sad smile. “It was wonderful to meet you, Mrs Kim,” you bid her goodbye as Doyoung took your luggage out to the car.

“Beautiful Y/N,” she smiled back at you, taking your hands in her own. “Tell me the truth here.”

You blinked, surprised at her direct request. “Of course.”

“You and Doyoung aren’t really dating, are you?”

“I-”

“It’s okay, my love,” she reassured you. “Don’t worry about it. That Doyoung, he’ll do anything if he thinks it’ll please me.”

“He’s a good boy,” you commented, to which Mrs Kim nodded in agreement. “But how did you know?” You’d thought you’d given a pretty convincing show.

“Nothing gets past me,” she responded, her eyes glinting. “Listen. Doyoung’s partner or not, I can tell that you’re important to him. And for that, you’ll always be a member of this family. You’re always welcome in this home, Y/N.”

You swallowed back tears, touched by her warm words, and by how genuine they were. “Thank you, Mom.”

The older lady pulled you in for a hug, just as Doyoung called out to you, “Y/N, we gotta go.”

“You have my number, right?” Mrs Kim checked, and you nodded. “And keep that cookie recipe safe - three generations old, that is!”

“Of course,” you assured her, retreating to the taxi as Doyoung said his goodbyes to her.

“Come back soon, you two!” 

“We will,” you and Doyoung promised her in unison.

Settled in the back of the taxi, you heaved a sigh. It had been a beautiful holiday period, but part of you was happy to be returning to the security of your own home. And an even bigger part of you was relieved to drop the act of being Doyoung’s partner.

Doyoung looked at you, a tired look in his eyes. “Y/N, I love you so much-”

“But we could never date,” you completed his statement, sensing its direction.

“Never,” agreed Doyoung with a laugh. 

The two of you were much better off as friends. It would be a lie to say you’d never wondered what it would be like if your relationship ever happened to cross that boundary, but you were sated by the lesson you’d learned over the last week. Your relationship was platonic, and was destined to remain that way. That didn’t mean your relationship was any less significant than that of a romantic couple, though. Doyoung was your family. And you were beyond lucky to have found him.

[carynsilver]

Favorite Fics: Darcy Edition

It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these. Things started going on that hurt my soul, and I just felt like, who cares about some fic recs when people are getting hurt? But… I don’t know. I still find solace and comfort in reading stories, even when things are hard—especially when things are hard. So, I finally felt like maybe it was time for another. If the fic writers out there are giving me escape, warm fuzzies, and enjoyment during these weird times, then they deserve some love directed back at them.

So far, I’ve listed my top 10 favorite Stucky, Drarry, and Stony fics. I love them all, but… that is a lot of dudes. I decided it was time for a little girl power in my fanfic recs. One of my favorite BAMF female characters is Darcy Lewis—one of the best and most under-rated, under-explored characters in the MCU.

I love Darcy as the every-girl who has the moxie and chutzpa to hold her own in a life full of superheroes. The girl tased the God of Thunder because he was freaking her out, for goodness sake! I love her being BFFs with Jane, being Thor’s lightening sister, and creating a found family. I love her living in the tower and caring for all the superheroes and science geniuses like they won’t care for themselves. There’s enough leeway in her backstory for fun twists, too, like being Jewish, or—one of my absolute faves—secretly being the daughter of Tony Stark.

There are a ton of good Darcy fics out there, but these are my top 10. Thank you, writers, for sharing these amazing stories with us!

Casa de Island Avengers by @inkbert

I clicked on this story because of WinterShock (Darcy/Bucky), which is a favorite ship of mine (I feel my love of Bucky has been previously discussed at length, lol), but it has become one of my favorite fics of all time. Not even just in the MCU—if I were listed my top five fanfics ever read, this one is on the list.

The concept is simple—post-Ultron, the Avengers started falling apart as a team, so Steve spearheads the effort to get them all on a two-week vacation to Tony’s private island in a last-ditch bonding effort. Every character (except Thor, but he does get some good screen time) has his or her own point of view for at least a chapter or two. Sometimes, this leads to characters sounding the same, but @inkbert really grounds each character in their own backstory and makes their inner monologues sound unique. Then, so many wacky hijinks ensue—camping, drinking, movie nights, girl bonding, sailing, pranks, and the most competitive game nights and challenges you’ve ever seen.

The ships included are Darcy/Bucky, Steve/Natasha, Pepper/Tony, and Clint/Wanda, but this story isn’t only about the ships. It’s about all these crazy characters bonding—found family at its finest. This is probably my favorite Darcy/Jane BFFs story ever, and the Bruce/Tony science bro connection is classic. The story is fully seated in cannon (up through Ultron and moving to the ccmpound), except no Clint/secret family and Pietro lives. Read it. Read it now! And if you enjoy it, there are several one-shots that follow, including a Wanda-centric one that shouldn’t be missed.

Best Supporting Soulmate by Valeris

I love a good soulmate fic, and this is an excellent one. The first thing your soulmate says to you is written on your skin, and there are both romantic and platonic soulmates. Darcy has Jane as a platonic soulmate, but it’s her other soulmate who made her life crazy before she even met them. What are you supposed to do when your soulmate’s first words to you are to let them die? 

The two primary ships in this fic are Wintershock and Stony, which work well together, but the story delves into a lot more relationships. I don’t love the whole amnesia trope in a Stucky fic because losing all that history and friendship hurts so much, but in a WinterShock fic, I have a real soft spot for Darcy being able to help post-HYDRA Bucky learn how to person again, and she does that in spades in this one. She also cultivates friendships with just about everyone in Avengers Tower and beyond. Darcy/Johnny Storm BFFs are amazing, and the deep friendship Darcy develops with Tony in this story gives me all the feels. This is a great version of BAMF Darcy who can see what the tortured characters need and is able to help them get there. And there is some interesting conflict with the Fantastic Four, as well.

This was one of the first, if not the first, WinterShock stories I ever read. I had been trying TaserHawk, but it wasn’t really my cuppa, and then somehow found this one and got hooked.

Road Trip of Champions by @leftennant

Natasha and Steve are going on a road trip. Steve wants Bucky to come with, but they feel like they need a fourth to make things even. Natasha bribes Darcy into coming with, and over the course of the trip, we get a lovely WinterShock romance. The road trip concept is fun, and Darcy and Bucky have a light enemies to friends to lovers vibe going on. Bucky is recovering, Darcy isn’t going to take anyone’s crap, and Natasha and Steve really just want a little private time along the way. And the bit at the end of the main story when they play paintball—classic and a scene that has stuck in my mind long after reading many other fics. The protective vibe Bucky has for Darcy after all this and how it even affects paintball is adorable. There are other one-shots in this ’verse as well that should not be missed. You might never think of lemons the same again.

Daybreak by @anogete

Anogete has a really good touch with snarky, caretaker Darcy. I love all her WinterShock stories, but this is the one that’s stuck with me the most. The concept of Darcy trying to help dismantle Bucky’s trigger words by creating new memories for each one was so compelling. The therapy aspect did give me pause (a personal thing; it is dealt with as respectfully as possible in the story), but it all works out in the end. The fact that I loved it so much despite a mild personal ping with the concept speaks to how well it’s written, honestly. :-) And, if this one isn’t to your taste, Anogete has plenty of great WinterShock to read, so definitely try one of them instead!

The Run ’Verse by themonkeycabal

Though it eventually becomes a WinterShock story, my favorite thing about this universe is the Tony-Stark-is-Darcy’s-father trope. This is probably my absolute favorite version of that relationship. There is also time travel, and BAMF Peggy Carter. And even though I don’t love the Darcy-becomes-a-Shield-agent thing as much as Darcy the Scientist Wrangler, this story has a great, cannon-compliant reason for why Tony, Clint, etc., weren’t able to come help Steve, Natasha, Sam, and Maria in CA:tWS. There are a ton of stories in this ’verse, and I enjoyed every single one. My favorite, though, is the one where Darcy and Tony go visit Howard’s forgotten secret bunker and have three generation’s-worth of overdue conversations.

A Morbid Taste for Ice by sitehound

This is probably my favorite TaserTricks story, though I haven’t read nearly as much Darcy/Loki as I have other Darcy ships. I think it’s because writing Loki in character and making it believable to me that Darcy would fall in love with him, especially post-Avengers 1, is a fine line. If the fic apologizes too much for Loki’s wrongdoing without enough repentance/reformation, I don’t buy that she would legit be able to fall for him, but, go too far on the redemption and Loki gets OOC.

This story hits all those beats pretty perfectly and combines them with the whole Darcy/Jane/Thor (and now Loki) found family thing, Thor/Loki brother angst, Jane/Darcy BFFs, and a really compelling murder mystery to boot. There is also an interesting subplot with Loki being what basically amounts to a magical mechanic that I found really interesting amidst the snark, romance, and mystery solving. I’m sad this writer only has the one story up because it is so good!

Bygone by @inkbert

This story is Shieldshock (Steve/Darcy), not WinterShock, so even though I do try to only choose one fic per author (mostly), I’m totally fine having two by @inkbert on this list. Besides, this fic is amazing, and it’s not like there are anyone’s rules to follow on these fic rec lists but my own, lol! This is hands down my favorite ShieldShock story ever. 

Jane’s experiment goes awry and sends Darcy into the past—specifically after Bucky left for basic but before he shipped out and Steve got tapped for Project Rebirth. Darcy ends up living with Rebecca and Mrs. Barnes, and she falls head over heels in love with tiny Steve, so much so that they get married despite not knowing what the future holds for her. Then, the night before Steve is going to report to basic, Darcy blips out again, and when she blips back in, Steve is dead. The rest of the story has Darcy blipping her way through time, making friends with Howard, Peggy, and the Howling Commandos. Ultimately, though, it’s her brother/sister relationship with Tony that is the most poignant, especially by the time they catch up to the present again. And Darcy is a complete BAMF the whole time—going on missions, learning to fly anything with wings, doing anything and everything to keep her found family together. This story also gave me a plan for what I would do if I were ever shot back into a timeline like this where I couldn’t sew or cook or make a living—become a typist… genius, Darce!

Their Hearts Said by @anogete

Another Anogete story because I just can’t resist. All her stories are really good, be they WinterShock, ShieldShock, or even her really good Loki/OC fic. I would definitely suggest giving all of them a try.

This ShieldShock story is my favorite post-Infinity War tale. It picks up a few weeks after the snap, with everyone grieving and trying to figure out what to do next. Steve is barely holding it together while the remaining Avengers try to figure out what they can do. After Jane and her family disappear, Darcy heads to Avengers Tower, hoping against hope that maybe Thor knows what’s going on. Darcy and Steve start sleeping together as more of an escape from the awfulness around them than anything else, but as the team works on a plan to save the day and bring everyone back, they develop real feelings for each other. There is also time travel and I really loved the minimalist way she wrote how the day was saved in this. It balanced well with the character stuff. This story is much preferable to End Game—too bad cannon didn’t go like this!

Good Madness by Em_Jaye

Normally, I prefer my Darcy embedded within the MCU cannon. I adore that every girl keeping up with superheroes thing. But, I do enjoy a good AU on occasion, and this is one of my faves. It’s ShieldShock and kid!fic. Darcy runs a bakery that was left to her by her mother (real You’ve Got Mail tones there, but no creepy identity porn), and Steve comes in for treats on occasion. One day, he brings his daughter, and the rest is history. I love the Steve/Darcy romance in this one, and Steve’s daughter is a sweet character. I love the Full House thing Steve has going on co-raising his daughter with Bucky and Sam. And there is a nice Bucky/Natasha subplot and some really good Tony, which I would say more about except that I don’t want to spoil the surprise. My favorite story in the series is the five rules one at the end, so definitely keep going long enough for that. And if you like Em_Jaye’s writing, you should check out The Long Way Around—a Shieldshock, time travel, Endgame fix-it WIP that is excellent, as well.

One Year by @steeleholtingon

This story is WinterShieldShock. OT3s aren’t my favorite trope, but somehow with Bucky/Darcy/Steve, it works. Maybe it’s something about the boys’ history and Darcy dragging them into the future. Kind of what she does for each of them individually in WinterShock and ShieldShock, but with even more oomph. I haven’t read the whole tag, but One Year is my favorite.

Bucky’s Winter Soldier recovery has pushed both Steve and Bucky to the edge. Steve ends up leaving (at Bucky’s demand, but also because the team is afraid he’s going to do some kind of suicide via superhero duty if he doesn’t get his head on straight). The wrinkle—the night before he left, Darcy and Steve had a comforting one-night stand that resulted in two pinks lines on the test. The resulting story takes place one month at a time. Steve tries to piece himself back together and put his feelings for Bucky in the past whilst falling for Darcy over text messages. Bucky, on the other hand, realizes how he fucked it all up and vows to be there for Darcy and Steve’s baby while Steve is gone. Darcy navigates the waters of an unplanned (but wanted) pregnancy while balancing her feelings for both of them. And all the rest of the Avengers, science crew, and other Avengers-adjacent peeps support all three of them through it all. Angst, recovery, and a happy ending. So good!

So, after all that, what are you guys waiting for? Get to reading all this Darcy goodness! :-)

And now I need to figure out what fic rec list to work on next. I have a Stranger Things one (Harringrove and Mileven) almost ready to go, and then I need to decide what to do with the ships and characters that I don’t have a full top ten for. Group them together, perhaps? Bughead and LoVe might be a good combination, lol. And WinterHawk and WinterIron.

[buddha-in-disguise]

100 episodes of Supergirl. And let me tell you it was a doozy.

Well that was an episode and then some. I haven't had a rewatch yet, so no doubt will pick up on some things once I do, but for now here are more immediate thoughts.

The first thing that struck me - it's now canon that Kara and Lena's destinies are intertwined. Who they become, who they were to who they are, whether or not they survive, hell, even whether or not those around them survive, depends on the other person. No-one else has the same impact in their life. Argue all you want, but that sure as hell is a definition of soulmates to me, platonic or otherwise.

If anyone of you are like me, and old enough to have been Xena fans, let me tell you this is so reminiscent of the “When Fates Collide” episode from season 6, which showed that in any alternate universe, Xena and Gabrielle still find each other. That it always comes back to the two of them. Fast forward some 18 years, and this parallels that message. Fate or destiny, call it what you will, but Lena and Kara's lives are intricately linked. I know a few other SG fans are Xena fans, and we've discussed the similarities between Kara/Lena v Xena/Gabrielle numerous times. This is another for that growing list.

So other than that, here are my immediate takeaways from it all.

Mon-El. Now he is a divisive character, and one I honestly have had a lot of issues with. However, this episode I felt showed the better side of him.

I also watched with widening eyes as Kara went to her ex-boyfriend for no reason other than to ask him about Lena! Seriously telling moment for me. I was also pleased Mon-El made the point that he and Lena both came from abusive childhoods and families. At last, the point of Lena having reacted in part like she has is because of abuse, as mentioned. Only the other day I said I was frustrated how Mon-El was forgiven for his actions because of his upbringing, but Lena wasn't afforded the same. It wasn't much, but it was a start. I will add, abuse or not - Lena still is accountable for her own actions (more on that later), just as Mon-El was.

The other thing. Winn has already said to "Give Lena time." Mon-El mirrored that line. Brainy believes in Lena. All three are from the future. Plus, the whole reason Mon-El can even be there? Because L-Corp develops a cure for the Daxamite lead allergy. Not LexCorp. Not Luthor Corp. L-Corp. Now I know that Supergirl and continuity are really poor at times, but I truly hope this is another nod that LexCorp is defeated, and Lena takes control of L-Corp once again, and she does good things, that lead L-Corp into being the cause for good she has always wanted it to be.

Onto Dark Lena. I'd already said to hubby that I wouldn't be surprised if in one of those timelines they didn't show an evil Lena. After all, we've had Kara gone bad now a few times in various scenarios. We even have had a bad Alex (S1, mind controlled anyone? Hmm. Mind controlled Alex. Oh wonder where we've heard that before? Yep, Alex this season. No idea if that is relevant in future episodes if Alex and Lena actually ever have a damn conversation, but it should be, whereby Alex can tell Lena just how mind controlling anyone, regardless of intent is a huge, bad thing, because of her own experiences with it).

So evil Lena was so good. It was pretty obvious to me, once they said that Lena had been injured, then disappeared and came back 2 years later changed, that Lillian/Cadmus had her. Lo and behold, Lillian had kidnapped her, and Lena version of Metallo was born. Even faced with that, when Kara refused to fight Lena, for that split second you could see the flicker in Lena's facial reaction. That split second moment of doubt. Honestly one of the things that I love so much with Supergirl is that they often have these nuanced moments throughout the seasons. Put those moments in the hands of Melissa and/or Katie and they're elevated to another level.

So only the other day on a different post I wrote this: 'Also, in reference to that S2 episode, (note - also ep 13), as Mxy disappears, he says that all he ever wanted was to have someone to love him, but Kara says that "love can't be forced on anybody; it needs to come on its own."'

Then we get the line in this episode of: “You were right what you said. You can’t force magic. It must be found.” Okayyyy then. Wow. Parallels again.

So talking of nuanced moments, let's talk about that ending. Although, before we delve into that I just want to talk about it a moment before Kara lands on Lena's balcony.

Did Kara actually watch that tape?

I find it strange it was left and I believe it wasn’t left by accident. Why else pick it up, and show that title so clearly? Why have that scene in at all unless it has relevance?

Is that why she decided she needed to take the stance she did?

I personally believe this was why it played out like it has. Kara saw something in that tape to take this route.

So the last scene. Again, watch the nuances of expression on Lena’s face as Kara speaks.

From the shock when Kara says “not this time.” to the way she frowned at the last line. Which isn’t calling Lena a villain by the way. For goodness sake please don't misrepresent exactly what was said. Kara is saying *if* Lena becomes a villain.

But there is far more here for me.

Lena knows Kara's true identity. Kara is trusting her with that knowledge even now, and especially with Lex in the picture. We know from the earlier timelines explored that by Kara openly showing who she is to the World, it causes all those around her to be targeted and killed. That is the trust Kara is showing and Lena almost certainly knows it, even without knowing that timeline alternative, and even if she doesn’t want to admit it yet.

A best friend isn't someone who always agrees with you and tells you that you're right.

A best friend is someone that helps you be the best version you can be, reminding you what your values are and what is important. They hold you accountable when you mess up, and support you when you need help. That is exactly what Kara did. She was telling Lena she would be the for her, but she would also hunt her down if she became a Villain.

We also have to remember numerous times, Lena has stated she is not a Villain. And she isn't. Not yet. She is misguided, making some terrible decisions, but ultimately Lena also stated just ahead of when she jumped off the cliff that 'Supergirl will save me.'

Now Lena knows, Kara will save her. But the boundary lines have been set by Kara (who by the way, I still think could never fight back against Lena. Not fully, because she wouldn't even when Evil Lena was killing her. She saw that flicker in the eyes just as I did).

Kara has firmly placed it all into Lena's court. Lena has to make the decision, to meet Kara half way and that Kara shouldn't have the burden placed entirely on her, and they shoulder it together. To realise her mistakes. We know Lena is craving friendship as much as she denies it. Remember this with Hope in 5.08, The Wrath of Rama Khan, and the nuanced reaction Lena gave there as the reality set in?

L: "You're the only friend I can count on."

H: "But, Ms. Luthor, I'm not your friend. I'm something you created to serve a purpose."

Ouch. That one hurt.

This whole end scene is more powerful and pivotal than perhaps realised.

Overall, I loved the episode. I truly did.

I just wish there wasn't another small break between this and episode 14, which isn't until March 8th. Damn all these breaks so close together! It would be so much nicer to be able to watch them without all these interruptions.

[feingeister]

Hmm..I kinda wanna know what you would like from S5 if it happens? In terms of who the main should be, what kind of storylines you would like to see from all the characters, what should improve etc.

when it happens, anon. we’re full-on delusional on this blog. 

ok let’s start with general stuff:

-       i want them to take their time. in season 4, things tended to feel a little rushed and while scheduling conflicts are fine and just happen sometimes, they had several scenes where so many characters were missing without an explanation at all.

-       i can forgive a lot of tiny mistakes, like david’s scarf changing positions or a haircut change but i really don’t want to see another mess like the season 4 finale. it looked like they had about 500 abdi’s on set fhkjfhfk i think with more time and care stuff like that wouldn’t happen, so I’m more than happy to wait for a season 5

-       listening to feedback is one of druck’s greatest strengths and im very glad that they take our suggestions into account, but when they have sooo many people telling them how to do things, it’s probably really easy to lose their own vision and i don’t want that to happen

 okay now the main of season 5…. it has to be sam. i always believed that we knew so little about sam, because we would dive into her story in her season and FINALLY get to know about all her motivations and fears. solve the mystery and all that. all of her sideplots always gave me a “SOMETHING is going on, but we don’t know what” vibe. now…i can see how that might’ve been a little too much good faith, but it still means that her season has a lot of potential. a problem that sam has is definitely that (as a cris character) she doesn’t take things seriously, she’s maybe a bit too easy-going and amicable and ends up avoiding conflicts because it’s too much drama for her.

i’m kind of tired of love stories being the main plot of the season, but i still wouldn’t mind something like cris’ season in skam es lol, especially because druck hasn’t used the mental health plotline yet. it would just be a bit difficult to not make it too similar to either cris’ or matteos season. i’m sorry i just haven’t let go of my “sam is a lesbian” headcanon ok.

i could also go for a platonic storyline where sam needs to stick up for a friend and in turn learns to stand up for herself as well (and no… i don’t mean a gal pal version of og s3, don’t even try it @druck).

and just to address the elephant in the room: i don’t particularly want a kiki season, because we already know so much about her and she has done a lot of growing in the past seasons. while it would be cool to see it from her perspective, sam is just my number one priority.

and the even bigger elephant in the room: david. i don’t want season five to be his because right now he’s happy and i want him to be happy for longer and really settle into his life with matteo and the combined squads. i do however, want season 6 for him (or any season… pls).

this is maybe an unpopular opinion, but i don’t want to see a drama-free season where david just happily goes about his life. i mean, i’d watch it and enjoy it but at the end of the day, i think it would be a bit of a disservice to his character to have every season-main change and grow through hardships and to leave him with a mostly uninteresting (to people who aren’t hopelessly obsessed with him like me and everyone else on here), unchallenging storyline. which is also why i want to wait for his season, because if he’s gonna go through some shit i want him to be happy first. i also think it makes sense, because i’m pretty sure david is someone who lets problems sort of… pile on until they’re almost too much to deal with. we already know he’s an escape artist when it comes to his problems (both literally and figuratively) and on top of that i believe he’s someone who likes to bury himself in his work (he’s competitive, ambitious and he studied for his goddamn math exam and passed it even though he was waiting for his soulmate to show some sort of reaction to his coming out… hello? who does that. i can’t even study under the best of conditions.).

i know we’ve been through the whole ‘running away as a coping mechanism’ thing and maybe some people would get bored with that but... well this is my ask and this is what i want to see lmao. in my eyes, david is stable and healthy enough not to literally make a run for it when things get bad, but i really want to get into the nitty gritty of it all, yknow. see how that sort of coping mechanism works in a less dramatic way in day to day life, because i don’t think he’s completely gotten rid of it. ignoring calls and text, excessive workouts, overworking in general, problems growing and growing until they knock at your door to take you out, those are all things that the skam format is made for. you don’t see them happening to people when you’re not in their head and if you are it’s all the more intense. so that’s what i think davids ~thing~ would be but he also needs an actual plot.

the absence of any kind of information about davids parents to me seems so obvious that i feel like it has to be purposeful. much like with sam, i think there is a deliberate gap of knowledge, because there is something significant to be found there. this is maybe also controversial, but i wouldn’t mind another story that revolves around queer-centric issues. 

what i’m kind of envisioning is david exploring his relationship with his family. i have some thoughts on this but in general i think it would be interesting to explore what it’s like to have two families, your legal family and your found family, especially if you have both of them in your life. i’ve seen a lot of (not enough) stories about finding people who give you what your family refused to give you and i’ve seen a lot of stories about making peace with your family even if they wronged you and i would kind of like to see both? i think it’s a reality for many, many people that they have a family in their life that they love and keep around, but they also have to live with the fact that their trust as been irrevocably broken. to parallel that with a happy found family that gives you all the support and love you need is certainly a thing i would like to see.

anyway, those are all super rough ideas that have been floating around in my head and there are a hundred more ways the next seasons could go and i can’t wait for them either way.

[larryfanfiction]

New Year’s Eve AU

🎆 One Minute to Midnight by QuickedWeen (29k)

Louis Tomlinson is at the height of his game in Boston’s financial scene. He’s got the instinct, and he’s got the guts to take calculated risks that make everyone around him a lot of money. Everything is going well until the day after he gets promoted when he wakes up forty years older than his actual age.

Two years later he’s adapted to his new life as a retiree, but he’s lonely and desperate for company closer to his real age during the rigorous holiday party season. He gets some questionable advice from Niall and turns to the Seeking Arrangement app where he finds Harry Styles, a local actor he’s been a fan of since they had an undergraduate class together. But what happens when a few dates here and there isn’t enough?

🎆 And Touch Me Like You Never by runaway_train (35k)

“Lets move back a bit yeah?” Harry clutches at his waist with a free hand and tugs him to move through the crowd until they are almost at the back of the group and settles them both beside the far wall. “There. That better?”

Louis looks up at him, as if he’s a tad dazed. “Uh, yeah, thanks. Can’t really see much from back here either though.”

Harry lifts a shoulder and grins at him, placing a hand on the wall behind Louis to pen him in. “We’ll just have to create our own fireworks then, won’t we?” He says it jokingly with a wink, and Louis laughs but he seems nervous. He must know that Harry is harmlessly flirting. Harry flirts with everyone after all, including Louis.

“Do you think this is a good idea Haz?” Louis asks quietly, almost too quietly in the clamour of the room, his head bowed as he scuffs his shoe on the carpet.

“Stop over thinking it Lou, it’s one kiss. What’s the worst that could happen?”

Or

The one where Harry and Louis agree to be each other’s New Year’s kiss and it ends up being a lot more than they bargained for.

🎆 The Stories That I Can’t Explain by kikikryslee (6k)

“Are you closing?” the woman asked, rushing into Louis’ store. “I just have to pick something up!” “I’m really sorry, but if you come back on Tuesday, we’ll be opening again at normal time,” Louis told her, trying to get her out of the shop. “No, please! I-” The woman dropped her head, and Louis watched in horror as she started crying. He didn’t do well with tears. “Please, I just have to pick up a ring, it’s- It’s for my brother, and he’s well… He’s dying. And it’s really important that I get it.” Louis could feel his mouth drop open even farther than it already had been. “Um…” Just then, a man walked into the store. He took one look at the woman and rolled his eyes. “Gemma, you haven’t told another stranger that I’m dying, have you?” he asked. The woman, Gemma apparently, turned to face him. “Of course I didn’t, Harry,” she said. — Or, the one where no one is actually dying, but Gemma likes to lie about Harry’s livelihood to get what she wants. Harry isn’t amused. Louis kind of is, though.

🎆 A Dream is a Soft Place to Land by lululawrence (4k)

“It’ll be like a perpetual sleepover, Lou,” Harry had said. “It’ll be great.”

And it was…except it also meant that Louis’ long time, barely there crush on Harry had only grown into a full fledged, real life version of playing house where Louis all too often found himself pretending he and Harry really were together when they definitely were not.

Or the one where Harry might have told his friends that he was dating someone and has to show proof for their party on New Year’s Eve. His best friend and roommate Louis is the obvious choice…but things don’t exactly go as planned.

🎆 2018 and The Rest of Forever by StayTillTheAM (4k)

Tick.

Tock.

Tick.

Tock.

One of these days Louis will take Liam’s annoying analog clock from the wall and smash it to the ground. He might even make it his new year’s resolution.

Louis’ been sat on the couch for the past hour, trying to focus on the cooking show playing but instead he got distracted by the damn ticking object on the wall in front of him. It just hangs there, mocking Louis and seemingly ticking as loudly as possible just to remind Louis that she and Time are in control. To remind him that they won’t wait for him. To remind him that the closer they get to midnight, the closer Louis gets to having another year wasted.

Because 2017 is almost over and Louis still hasn’t found his soulmate.

- - - - - - - -

Or the New Year’s Eve fic where 2017 refused to give Louis his soulmate, and 2018 might change that for him.

🎆 LoveJoy by Snowy38 (13k)

“Dance-mat!” Liam voted.

“Guitar hero,” Zayn chirped up.

“What about a game of Trivial Pursuit?”

The voice was deeply serious and even Louis grinned as Harry leaned forward in his seat.

Three faces scoffed.

“Jesus, Hazza, live a little,” Niall teased.

“Is that what a wild night is like for geeks?” Zayn wondered.

“No, that would be more along the lines of driving out to the middle of nowhere and camping in a field to study the interstellar medium of the Orion Nebula,” Harry quipped with a little, happy smile.

🎆 Never Walk Away (A Man Can Be Kind) by LiveLaughLoveLarry (8k)

Louis and Harry have recently ended their three year relationship. But maybe a little holiday magic can bring them back together.

~*~*~

“I don’t know why you’re so nice to that louse,” Oli says as the taxi pulls away from the curb.

Louis glances back through the window. Harry is still standing on the sidewalk, hands in his pockets, watching them go. “He’s not a louse,” he says absently.

“He hurt you.”

“I hurt him,” Louis replies. “And he didn’t mean to. It was inevitable. It’s not his fault. It is what it is.”

Oli is silent for a long moment. At last, he sighs. “Someday you’re going to have to stop being afraid.”

🎆 haven’t you heard by allwaswell16 (8k)

Harry Styles has been in love with Louis Tomlinson since they were eighteen. After six years together, Harry is ready to propose to the love of his life. The holidays strike him as the perfect time for a romantic proposal, but his well-meaning friends and family (including his self-appointed best friend, Niall) seem to thwart him at every turn.

Or the four times Harry tries to propose, and the one time he gets it right.

🎆 Yours In Fractions by FullOnLarrie (23k)

Louis and Harry are strangers who, because of a mix up, share their mutual friend’s apartment and bed over the holidays.

🎆 till our wide eyes burn blind by wonderously (7k)

au. harry and louis get snowed in together on new year’s eve.

🎆 I Think I’m Addicted to Your Light by supernope (9k)

Louis is just zipping back up when the door swings open with a swell of noise and someone shuffles up next to him, shoes tapping loudly against the tile floor. Louis turns to see who’s walked in and just violated the code of the men’s toilet by taking the urinal next to him and is met with wide, green eyes and red lips stretched into a brilliant smile.

“Happy new year,” the guy grins, shaking long, curly hair away from his face. “You look sharp. Sorry, do you mind holding this for a minute? I don’t really have any place to keep it and it’s kind of a hassle, getting out of these things. Don’t want it to fall in.”

He indicates his legs with the hand clutching a pale pink phone, and Louis’ gaze drops. Speechless, Louis takes the phone, eyes locked on the guy’s legs. His gorgeous legs, clad only in a pair of black thigh-highs held up by a silky black garter belt.

🎆 Running Down To The Riptide by sweaterpawstyles (4k)

“I can’t give you your present yet, Lou.”

Louis furrowed his brows. “And why is that, my love?”

Harry smiled at his lap. “Because your present is under my sweater,” he pulled his free hand that wasn’t laced with Louis’ and gently laid it on his stomach. “I’m pregnant.”

Or

It’s New Year’s Eve and Harry has a surprise under his sweater

🎆 So Baby Tonight Just Be the Death of Me by crimsontheory (12k)

He hasn’t had much to drink, just enough to make everything feel warm and soft, kind of like the boy currently pressed up against his side.

Louis glances around the room and thinks that even though there is a couple leaning against the wall, a little too close to him, very heatedly making out, and he can hear the faint sounds of someone throwing up in the kitchen sink, and that the whole house smells of sweat and stale alcohol, there is no other place he’d rather be than on this couch with Harry curled into his side.

An AU where Louis is new in town and Harry invites him to a New Year’s party.

🎆 the clock is ticking, ticking by smokinglarry (2k)

Louis’ timer is about to hit zero in a few seconds and he’s stood at Westminster Bridge because it’s New Year’s Eve and here are so many people, how is Louis supposed to find his soulmate ? He’s lost.

(people have timers engraved into their skin that show them when they’re going to meet their soulmate.)

🎆 six feet beneath the moon by starseas (25k)

AU. takes place over one night. harry and louis meet at a going away party.

🎆 How Would You Feel (If I Told You I Loved You) by Only_angel_28 (81k)

An AU inspired by the music video for Ed Sheeran’s song Perfect featuring two idiots who are too thick to see that their friendship is anything but platonic, lots of pining, too many terms of endearment to count, a wedding, slow dancing, a couple of steamy hot tub moments, karaoke, snow, a healthy dose of cuddling, love confessions, and Harry and Louis being quite generous to each other.

*Or the one where Harry has been in love with his best friend for four years, and New Year’s Eve at his family’s holiday home in Switzerland is perfect for finally telling Louis how he feels.

More Masterposts

[eracitor]

Weird Headcanons for my Boys

Regulus Black

took piano and/or art classes growing up

loves to braid his friend’s hair. Rodolphus prefers a braid that leads into a bun. Rabastan will accept any braid but usually gets a classic french braid. Lucius will only allow him to braid his hair if he does a fishbone braid.

He’s definitely a Capricorn

has had a crush on Rodolphus forEVER, although some of the reason he likes Rodolphus so much is because Rodolphus is basically a Slytherin, pureblood supremacist version of Sirius. Rodolphus is (in Reg’s mind) who Sirius could have been. Rodolphus is the wildest someone could get and still follow aristocratic society

He’s got a reputation that he keeps so clean that it fucking hurts, which means that he misses out on kid stuff a lot because he’s too busy thinking about estate affairs and dining etiquette. His friends are the only thing that bring out the kid in him.

I think most of these stupid boys actually have a part of muggle culture that is their guilty pleasure. His is definitely the books. He LOVES classic literature and he will slip muggle books into wizard book covers so his mother doesn’t know.

He’s actually a major romantic but being logical is regarded as more important on his list of things he needs to be which is why he’s not out there courting anybody. 

this boy treasured Slug Club and duelling club and Slytherin quidditch practice and any activity where he got to be with his friends more than anything in the world (because his parents sucked and expected him to be everything Sirius refused to be because now they “only had one son” and it was a lot of pressure and anyone Regulus is my favorite character in history every of characters so yeah there’s that).

Rabastan Lestrange

serious cryptid and loves all mythical creatures. His favorite class is Care of Magical Creatures, and he believes in all things out there and he wants to meet and study all of them

he’s very particular about who he befriends, because humans don’t have predictable behavior like most animals/cryptids

He’s asexual and aromantic. He’s only into platonic friendships, and then only barely. 

‘Scuse me?? This boy is a Taurus???

He and Regulus are best friends and have a strong bond of brothers, similar the bond between Marauders. I would almost say platonic soulmates. Regulus is the only one who can understand his deep love of creatures that are “below” them, but more than that, they just understand each other on a fundamental level

both he and Rodolphus have long, curly wild hair, super thick and too wild to tame. I’m talking like viking ass huge hair.

He’s one of those strong-and-silent, animals-not-people type. I imagine he talked to people the same way April Ludgate does in Parks and Rec. He tries to scare them on purpose and never says anything genuinely unless he’s talking about how much he loves creatures more than humans. He’s a Creepy Boi (TM)

Rodolphus Lestrange

plays guitar like it ain’t no thing. Now here’s Wonderwall (Maybe not Wonderwall but you better believe his muggle guilty pleasure was their music. He was a part of the rock scene going on in England back in the day)

rocks the perfect man bun. I cannot picture him without a man bun, he has one I swear to god. 

He is arranged to be married with Bellatrix, not by choice. Most marriages are because there is not a whole lot of purebloods left. He, like Bellatrix, feels nothing for his fiance, although he does care about her and her family.

Sometimes I hc that he and Regulus are a thing, like done behind Bellatrix’s back that throws her into an insane rage. However, ultimately I don’t think that would be Regulus or Rodolphus’s style. Regulus cares too much about his image, and Rodolphus isn’t much of a romantic. I would probably say more likely he flirts with Regulus like he flirts with everyone else, leading Regulus to have a huge crush on him.

Favorite class? Honestly it’s divination, although he doesn’t really tell anyone. Not because he’s embarrassed, but he’s just very subtle about the things he likes; he’s not gonna geek out about it but he’ll be like “ah, shit, that’s cool.” He’s an Aquarius, btw

Lucius Malfoy

his marriage with Narcissa is an arrange marriage but they are romantic soulmates. If it hadn’t been arranged, Lucius would have proposed on his own. Lucius, although seen as strong, is actually very weak while Narcissa is assumed to be weak when in fact she is very strong. This dynamic works very well for them.

He won’t admit it to anyone but he’s an exquisite dancer and he loves it. He knows every step to every formal dance, and couldn’t step on someone else’s foot if he tried.

He’s a fucking Virgo

Charms and Potions are the subjects he’s very good at, although I wouldn’t say he really liked them. He liked being good at them and showing off, but he didn’t dislike or like either. He was probably in the Slug Club (IDK if he really was but he seems like someone Slughorn would loooooove)

He’s surprisingly good at knowing the value of most objects. He’s like a wizarding Pawn Shops guru. He’s very tricky about buying things cheap and selling them high. He honestly would have done muggle pawn shopping too except he (like all the boys) were grossed out and vaguely scared of muggles.

Barty Crouch Jr.

has a crush on Regulus because of their similar backstories: raised by authoritarian pureblooded families with high places in wizard society, the Crouch family because of his father’s government position and the Blacks due to old money

A Scorpio, for sure, like for sure for sure

He, Evan Rosier, and Antonin Dolohov are basically the Three Stooges of the groups. They are always seen bickering and insulting and teasing each other. The shenanigans they get themselves into his hilarious. Rosier knew Barty Crouch Jr. growing up (the way all pureblooded families knew each other) but they didn’t become close until Dolohov joined and they became the trio

he liked Defense Against the Dark Arts but only because he saw it as a puzzle; if he understood DATDA, he could understand how to get around the defensive spells so that the opponent defense would be rendered useless. 

everyone refers to him by his entire name. No Barty or Crouch. Barty Crouch Jr. is what all his friends call him every time they refer to him.

He’s a mega fan of all things quidditch. He knows every single fact and can tell you the score of a Quidditch World Cup a 100 years back. He can tell you the stats of almost every player in the league...at least every player on the important teams. He’s a Chudley Cannons fan.

Evan Rosier

To me, he’s kind of like the Slytherin, pureblood supremacist version of James. He’s good-looking, intelligent, talented, and his background is the opposite of what you’d think. His parents are not well-off or very attractive or kind or smart. If given the chance, they would take from him everything he had. He found a family in his friends (unlike James who gave a family to his friends). 

A hard Libra. He’s very much a Libra

is very bisexual and makes it very clear from the moment you meet him. He likes men and women equally and is a charmer. I mean most Slytherins are charmer but he’s got the charm of every female villain sidekick who seduces her way into making the hero break. That’s Rosier.

is the group’s connection to the wizard equivalent to weed, which is called Muggle Beard due to the fact that the marijuana looks gnarly and gross. His connection? His deadbeat parents

Tells nothing about himself to anyone. He’s the person who literally never stops joking so much that if he was serious, you would think he was joking. Like that’s how he is, he’s always messing around.

His favorite class is maybe potions? He doesn’t really like class but he LOVES duelling club. The club is divided into two teams, with a mix of every house on each team. It’s the only place where he doesn’t give a fuck if you’re Slytherin, Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, or Ravenclaw. If you’re on his team, he supports you, and if you’re not, you’re GOING DOWN

Antonin Dolohov

was supposed to go to Durmstrang but his mother, who had been dating an abusive muggle man at the time, had to flee before he killed both her and her son, which brought them to England and which brought on his long-held grudge on muggles. His mom’s abusive ex broke his nose before they left, which is why it’s a little crooked.

He’s probably most definitely a Leo. That’s just it. He is.

didn’t want to make friends at first out of spite but after a while of some determined teasing from Rosier and Barty Crouch Jr. he caved

was arranged to be married to Andromeda before she ran away with a muggleborn. He was quite infatuated with her (or at least the idea of being married to someone) but after she left him, the whole thing lost its taste. He no longer felt the need to find someone to spend his life with.

favorite class was transfiguration. If he became an animagi, he would have turned into a hawk or possibly a falcon. Definitely a bird of prey. He gives out strong bird vibes.

[herthoughtsonasite-blog]

To Ian, From Lor

Holiday notes: Promise after one year you’ll finish reading. It’s long ah, so careful but enjoy 😉  Try to read it in your laptop too coz the font is really nice!

First of all, I can't believe we've known each other for over a year now and I only learned from days ago that you wrote a blog about me! I couldn't believe it still but what better way to express my reaction to that than to make one blog entry to you?! I don't know what I'm doing! Go figure! Crazy right?  BUT WHO WRITES A BLOG ABOUT ME? THATS CRAZIER! GAH I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO FEEL SO HERE'S MY RAW BUT AUTHENTIC THOUGHTS LOL (I will not stop typing till I think I've said enough and I will only proof read it once. Or not. Whatever! HAHA (I will be formal now)

Here it goes:

If you want to confirm if it really is you that I'm writing about, I am posting one blog entry of yours at the end of this one that hit me right to the core, amongst many others... BUT DO NOT SKIP. I beg you not. Please, read all the way through, bud.

You met me at a time where I was no where with or without. An instant click - and although you would have wanted to take it much further, you have earned your right to know me better from then on, when you respected my choice of turning the year or two or more - to be a time for just me. You probably think I did not mean it to this extent, but here I am anyway.

It touches my heart when I realize how platonic this relationship has become, how you could always be just a message away and that even if we don't talk for a very, verrry long time, a single message that I send never becomes unnoticed, whether it be a political injustice whose nitty gritty details I hope to understand,  to the simplest "vent" as to how I feel so incomplete when I cannot go to my homebox.

And for you to respond instantly at literally any time of the day except when you're doing your recits, is amazing. HOW? Also, when you check on me randomly, without a hidden motive,  know that I appreciate that, even if sometimes, it takes days for me to reply :( I'm sorry. You know what’s up.

And yes, okay... there's no need to apologize... I just want to say thank you, bud, for not "insisting yourself" on days I don't feel like myself... For supporting me to handle me. 

We pride ourselves in our "busy" lives and I like that we enjoy how preoccupied we think we are. Or so I think... There's always stories to tell each other about. Experiences - that fill me in such a way that I’ve never been before, because this time, I am only pursuing myself, invested in what time I have, unsubmissive and independent of anyone else.  And to me, that's something worth remembering. Who knows if I’ll ever feel this way again?

There is not a lot of people I come across who is in that pursuit, especially not our age- (range) (yes you oldie haha), certainly not everyone who says they are, can commit to such a bold choice. Most people wants somebody, but do they want themselves enough? Do people take the time to fall inlove with themselves first? Anyone can say you can do those while being with someone, but it’s really different. I’ve felt the difference. We all just want to be loved wholly at the end of the day, and it really starts with ourselves, and for me, that takes time. Imagine, for the rest of your life you will be spending it with someone eventually. When are you gonna have a time like this ever again?

“Single by choice”, is powerful.

Ian, it is my new found admiration in people to see them accomplished, and humbled by the heartbreaks of this life. To me, you reached the prime of your maturity when you decided to take a step back, rediscover yourself first and invest in your becoming, after you and your “TOTGA” was no longer. I still remember crying just listening to you talk about her, like she was everything you saw your whole life through. I felt that. It was very pure, and it was very brave of you to say the truth with peace reigning in your heart. You smiled and then you shed a tear I knew came from the very depths of your heart. Knowing you, you could have easily jumped into a new relationship any second, getting who was available to catch you in that moment. But you’re much better than most, setting her and yourself free, was much more appealing. Dun talaga ako bilib sayo. I think if not for your wisdom that night, I could have said yes, to Bianca right away. Or maybe DJ? Diba October lang yun? They were something too diba?  

Anyway.

There is a pure bliss in the reality that we both have different social circles, age range (this is the last time I will mention that haha), and come from different places. Bahay mo lang ang Siargao ah. There is something to be told in difference and diversity, it is so complementary, it has been a breathe of fresh air...

Of course, after hearing about your past, it’s good to see how great you turned out to be. You taught me to give myself some time for deep "self actualization", a time I realized that would take more than I had hoped, to realize and admit my shortcomings (which are a lot), to embrace every emotion that would come of it, to forgive myself though difficult, and to forgive those who hurt us too, because it is time to face an entirely new book. This was a lot for me to ingest at a time, but you know very well that I'm still trying.

You taught me not to scorn my past, and to cope better day by day. No matter how many relapses occurs. You are among the people whose sentiments I most value at a time I felt betrayed and lost. I would have coped very poorly, but the universe was kind to me. Healing after all, as you said ... "is not linear."

Acknowledging hurt was one. How the good times flutter in your head like they they’ve only happened yesterday. How you can feel everything all at once, how you can remember without pause all details your fickle mind can carry. In the quiet moments of the day and night when when your heart begs to feel a certain way again. I struggle to remind myself I am only human and this is very normal.

You helped me see that love is not really definite. That it comes in many forms. That I was capable of acceptance, forgiveness, and gratitude. No matter what happened. “Love only transforms and transcends, it can never be destroyed”, said our Buddhist friend. Love is wishing them well, regardless of how painful the circumstances have become. Love is rightfully praying for happiness, and especially for those who hurt us. Love was being stronger and wiser, but never bitter or angry. (I still surprise myself at how calm I have become) Love is setting free. Love is loving myself, until I’m ready to love another again.

Pause. WEW. Misty eyes.

I’m back. Sniff.

I learned about the thrill to open oneself to the world immeasurably again, to slow down, and discover my pace, and to know that the world is full of endless possibilities, and life will unfold irrevocably. There is no need to rush into something that requires you to expend yourself exclusively to another. 

I remember the first time you said you saw "growth" in me when individuals (you all did not want to hear about, but listened anyway) either came back, showed interest in me, and I too, in them, but somehow, I made the conscious choice not to act on my emotions. There it was. A new me (?) 

You knew my losses and my gains, and the very fact that I'm barely back at my feet, but still, there you are.

You constantly tell me that you learn a lot from me, I would just say the same about you, but actually more. So thank you, your existence has been unimaginably nurturing to me and it has been that way because of the dynamics we mutually made it to be.

There’s no way I can call you anything in particular.  Anything would be an overstatement or understatement, and this is not to flatter you, but to be simply honest. Friend? Soulmate? I'm not sure.

In just a year, you started a new journey and I did mine too. I did not expect for me to give such a damn about someone else's life at such a selfish time in my life.

However, you've remained good to me, Ian. I love hearing about your breakthroughs and staying by your side during your breakdowns. You on the other hand, have not once taken advantage of my vulnerability, my break downs and even to the time  when I could not shed a tear anymore. When I was "washed out". “Finally natuyo na yang luha mo.” 

Between rekindling my old relationships with old friends and family, turning strangers into important people in my life and just sparking new friendships here and there, I have learned that making valuable connections is not necessarily rare for me to do.

I wish I could say ours was an exception, but you know exceptions are hard for me to make now. Just live and flow, right? No more flowery majingy. But somehow... I fall in love with people and life all the time more now. No preference, no counsel. Just natural appreciation for everything and everyone around.

My  only regret in my past was not taking down note about the time I made the conscious choice to submit solely to one. My, what an adventure would that have been, to see that version of myself in this new found perspective that I have now. I think only one person can attest about me at that time, and...well

You helped me unravel pieces of me I did not know I am. Many things I would not have known if not for my circumstance.

It is a trying time to be present when the mind pulls and pushes me between dimensions. So here I am not wishing you were here, but just thankful for who you are. It's crazy how certain conversations is enough for me to feel. Fuck my mind instead, right? Physical stimulation is so easy. Kidding. Let's talk about that next time, yes?

I wish whatever foretolds my future, be it my success, challenges, wedding, nunhood, or death, you will be there to speak. To speak of me and remind me of this version of myself because who knows what I will be like then?

WHO KNOWS HOW I WILL LOVE WHEN I WILL BE WHOLE AGAIN?

“Dear Future Lover, From Self Loving Phase” should that be my next post? Kidding.

And who knows what you will turn out to be? Who knows.  

I know you found love within you, iba talaga. Si Popoy nga 2 years. Ako kaya? Jokes. I hope when you are ready to love again, they are as ready as you are and you are both deserving of each other. Or who knows? You and her will meet again and by then you’re better for each other? Like the How’s of Us. Or. Who knows talaga. Bahala na si Batman.

Ok I think I’m done, I have a class pa. 

HAPPY TUESDAY, BUANG!!!

As promised, my personal favorite from your blog: (I’m not assuming, but you really put a picture of me so maybe it’s me noh?) :https://dontholdbacksite.wordpress.com/2017/12/10/i-felt-love-im-sure-i-did/

P.S

Your blog is among the best reads I’ve had in so long. It’s like having a glimpse of me at a time where I didn’t recognize myself at all. 

Thank you for writing about me. https://dontholdbacksite.wordpress.com/2018/02/16/to-my-baby/

[disregardcanon]

so..... raven cycle characters in the good place au? featuring pynch and chengsey but not in large doses 

contains major spoilers for the good place if anyone hasn’t seen that and would like to go in unspoiled. for real, you don’t want to be spoiled for this show by a textpost version of an au 

for those of you that have seen it, this only follows up to the end of s1 but i might continue that later. if that were to happen the chengsey would probably become sarchengsey 

THIS IS MORE THAN 5K WHAT THE FORK 

a very brief, approximate rundown of character roles

ronan as eleanor shellstrop with some hints of jason mendoza

henry as jason mendoza... in the jianyu way but not the jason way, really

gansey as chidi anagonye

adam parrish as tahani al-jamil 

blue sargent as michael

noah czerny as mindy st. claire 

“you, ronan lynch, are dead,” blue sargent tells him, “welcome to the good place.” 

blue sargent is apparently the architect of the neighborhood and not human (who would name a real human baby blue sargent?) and not actually a tiny human woman with kinky hair and light brown skin and a face that goes from perky, service worker smile to resting bitch face at the drop of a hat. she gives him the rundown of being in the good place. she informs him that he was an avid environmentalist who used his personal fortune to help fund national parks, efforts to save endangered animals, and animal shelters across the country. 

this, however, was not ronan lynch’s life... and he definitely isn’t supposed to be here. after his worthwhile life of blowing through his trust fund, spiting his brother for thinking that he’s better than ronan is and trying to control him, doing drugs in the back of kavinsky’s mitsubishi. and then setting off illegal fireworks and setting shit on fire and having angry hate sex with kavinsky and street racing with kavinsky. he died after stealing his brother’s car and wrapping it around a tree, half on purpose. so yeah, there’s no way that he’s supposed to be here in the good place and he knows it. 

blue sargent, however, does not need to know that. so ronan lynch does something that he’s never done before, he lies. 

“yeah, that was me,” he says. because really? if he’d done good things in his life, saving animals probably would have been one of them. that’s a life he could have led, if he were less of a shitbag. he always liked animals. 

sargent brings him to a frozen yogurt place to meet his soulmate, and pretty much everything about that statement seems ridiculous and out there, but he’s in the afterlife, and it sure as fuck ain’t the pearly gates or the fire and brimstone his catholic raised ass was expecting, so he supposes that this is just his new normal. 

“some soulmate pairings are romantic,” sargent says, “and some are platonic. yours is platonic. fated to be best friends- closer than brothers” 

“great,” ronan says, which is not great at all because he was hoping that maybe there would be some sap on earth who was fated to fall in love with him, and not just be a dude he hated but couldn’t stop having sex with. since they have the wrong history for him, he can’t even complain about declan or talk about how no one would EVER be a better brother than matthew, who was ripped from the world far too young. 

he hopes that matthew and his parents are in another neighborhood somewhere, living it up as happy as they could ever be. if anyone deserves to be in the good place, it’s his family, or at least the dead parts of it. 

“ronan lynch, this is your soulmate, richard gansey the third” blue says with a wide smile. seeing him makes it even worse, because he’s handsome, but he’s off limits because it’s “platonic” and ronan wants to put his hand through the fucking wall. 

“just call me gansey,” he says with a big, wide smile, “that’s what all my students called me.” 

“students?” 

“i was a professor of moral philosophy,” gansey says, “but i also taught a few courses on welsh mythology and history.” 

“what a nerd,” ronan says before he can shut his god damn mouth. gansey smiles

“that’s the other thing that my students called me,” he says. ronan’s not sold yet, but ronan might not totally hate this guy. that would be a first since his family died. 

they tour the neighborhood, sargent telling them all about how new and improved this place is over earth even though it just looks like suburbia. at least, somehow, the afterlife is environmentally friendly? that’s what sargent says, at least. ronan doesn’t know how that would even work. 

sargent introduces them to another pair of soulmates about halfway through. the first is adam parrish, who was apparently a high powered lawyer back in life who helped like, the environment or some shit (suspiciously close to ronan’s fake backstory, ronan will have to be careful treading around that topic with him), and his soulmate jiyanu, a taiwanese monk who took a vow of silence. 

at least ronan got someone who talks. he’d feel bad for parrish, if the dude weren’t so fucking pretentious that it makes him want to puke. parrish is also really attractive and has hands out of ronan’s dreams but like.... that’s not relevant. the point is that he’s a pretentious dick not that he’s an ATTRACTIVE ONE okay? okay. 

ronan is probably pricklier than someone who’s actually good place bound would be, but parrish responds with exactly the level of passive aggressive that ronan would expect from a jerk back on earth, so ronan’s probably alright. if this dude deserves to be here, then ronan can at least match his level of passive aggression without people suspecting that he’s not supposed to be here. 

no matter how little ronan wants to admit it, though, he always sort of enjoys talking to parrish. it’s nice to have a break from gansey’s overwhelming cheer or sargent’s “benevolent alien anthropologist” act. jiyanu doesn’t talk, so it’s harder to get to know him. or even care about getting to know him. he looks perpetually uncomfortable, though, which is a weird thing to look in paradise. ronan hopes that he doesn’t look that uncomfortable.

but then again, ronan’s a big, muscly guy with a full back tattoo and leather jacket and a shaved head in a neighborhood that looks like suburbia ate candyland and then shat this monstrosity out, so he was probably going to stand out no matter what.

he stands out a whole lot more the next morning when the good place malfunctions in a multitude of ways that tell him that HE’S the cause. so, he decides that he should probably talk to his ethics professor soulmate to figure out htf he’ll get to stay here. 

“so, you’re my soulmate. soul friend?” 

“best bud,” gansey suggests.

“and you would never do anything to hurt me, right?” 

“yes?” and then ronan confesses that he doesn’t belong here and gansey’s like yup i guess this is my life now and it increases his anxiety tenfold but he promises to help if ronan promises to take ethics classes so that he can learn to be the person that deserves to be in the good place and ronan’s like okay, sure, i guess. books are stupid and learning is stupid but being tortured? is probably more stupid so he’ll deal with books and schools to not do that

he finds out that jiyanu doesn’t belong here pretty soon afterwards, after having a fucking heart attack that the guy was going to rat him out. it turns out that jiyanu isn’t even named jianyu. his name is henry cheng and he’s a drug dealing, backpacking dj from vancouver. his mother’s a mob boss. he’s sometimes involved in her business, sometimes not. he’s always a wayfaring stranger, or a hopeless wanderer, or a druggie bum from vancouver, one of those words that means he’s a traveling dude with no life prospects. 

“i’m not even taiwanese, dude. i’m forking korean,” henry groans, and ronan feels like he’s found a kindred spirit in all of this shit. this is way easier to deal with than an actual monk knowing his secret. now they just get to be assholes together. 

they meet up in henry’s “bud hole” which he definitely doesn’t call a bud hole, because he has some class. he calls it mr roboto because it’s his secret secret he’s got a secret. he actually says this aloud, singing and all, and ronan starts singing the murder squash song and a beautiful friendship is born. 

friends. weird. ronan never had a lot of those. or any, if he’s being honest. 

“not being able to talk? that’s the worst thing for me,” henry says, “do you know how much i like to talk?” 

“i can guess,” ronan says. 

“like, words don’t always work right for me, but i still love to talk,” henry reiterates 

“yes, cheng, i get it,” ronan says, because he really would like for the silent monk to go back to being silent, please. 

“it’s like torture, lynch, absolute torture. like, if i actually were in the bad place, they couldn’t have come up with a better way to torture me than that.” ronan thinks that’s a bit of stretch, when in the bad place they could literally pour lava over you for all of eternity, but the thought sends a bit of a shiver up his spine. 

the good place isn’t so good. 

he pushes the thought to the back of his mind. it probably means nothing. he and henry might be here and miserable, but they’re not supposed to be here. gansey? parrish? they might be assholes sometimes, but they did do legit good things. gansey was a fucking ethics professor, and it sounds like parrish took a lot of cases for charity and did all kinds of philanthropy. even though ronan and henry aren’t supposed to be here, those two still are. 

---------

back on the topic of henry, henry cheng was a backpacker who dealt drugs and was working through a trust fund of his own and working through more romantic and sexual partners than ronan can even imagine. apparently, his mother was a crime lord from vancouver. he was kidnapped for ransom as a child, and his mother barely cared to get him back. the last thing that happened to him was when one of his former, scorned lovers kidnapped him and demanded ransom from his mother, she refused and that’s how henry cheng died. the scorned lover killing him part is a point of pride. the fact that his mother let them? not so much

---------

gansey finds out about henry soon afterwards. he agrees not to rat out henry either in exchange for even more ethics classes. 

“gansey, you are a prince among men,” henry says. and gansey does not blush, he DOESN’T but ronan glares at the ground. the universe gave him a soulmate who’s actually into dudes but not into him? what the fuck, universe. what the fuck. 

they take ethics classes, and they get better. and better, and better while feeling worse, and worse, and worse. the neighborhood deteriorates. it seems like everyone’s mental state deteriorates too, even the two that are supposed to be here. 

sargent tries to find gansey a new hobby after ripping into the book he spent his life writing. parrish snoops around sargent’s office, and finds out that he had the lowest good person score out of anyone in the neighborhood. he tries as hard as he can to up his score, until he realizes that because he’s dead, he can’t. it eats away a little at him to know that he’s even below ronan lynch, even if the guy isn’t quite as bad as he first thought. at least he can TALK to him, unlike his soulmate monk-ey mcsilence

everything seem to be getting worse. 

and then, sargent tries to take credit for all of it. the breakdowns- the tremors- all the things that ronan being here has caused, and tells them all that she will basically be brutally murdered for her failures- ronan’s failures. he hates that gansey made him grow a little bit of a conscience. ronan comes clean. he’s pretty sure that gansey’s disappointed face as he stares at henry is the only thing that gets henry to come clean with him. 

parrish doesn’t seem delighted that ronan isn’t supposed to be here, but he does seem pleased- almost smug about it. 

“all you rich kids had everything handed to you, and i had to work so hard to get where i got. even here, in the good place. you glided in here on a technicality.” 

“you want them to send me to the bad place?” ronan asks, “that’s still a possibility, you know.” if parrish wanted him damned, he probably could make it happen. with lawyer powers and social clout combined, he could probably get it done. 

“well, no,” parrish says, “i don’t.” and of course, no actual good person would want another person to be tortured to spite them. to be honest, ronan doesn’t really wish that on any other person, not even declan or kavinsky. 

“plus, that gives me at least two people i’m better than here,” parrish says. ronan raises his eyebrow. 

“points wise,” parrish says, like that explains everything. they have an in depth conversation about when he snuck into sargent’s office and searched through the scores and his existential crisis about how low his numbers were, and ronan can’t help but laugh. perfect parrish was the worst one here? 

“hey,” parrish says, “at least i deserved to be here.” it might have been the least out of any of them, but he still got in on his own merits. ronan got here due to a clerical error. 

“you probably had like, ten thousand more points than me if that helps,” ronan says. parrish tries to shrug it off, but ronan can tell that it does. gansey’s across the room, looking like he’s coaching henry on how to get through this situation, and ronan wonders if there wasn’t a clerical error with the soulmates too. 

if any of them are soulmates, romantically, it certainly isn’t the pairings they’ve been assigned. gansey and henry might be soulmates, really. and well, looking at the way parrish smiles and the way that his hand curl and the way that he’s feeling- god- fuck- ronan thinks that they might have a possibility too. 

adam and henry have a Talk which consists of 

“sorry for not speaking for six months” 

“i don’t really think i like what you have to say, anyways.” 

“that’s fair. we’re definitely not soulmates, are we?” 

“i’m not sure we’re even friends” 

“ouch, parrish, harsh” and then eventually, they kill each other a million times in video games and decide that it’s alright, i guess. kind of. they’re not going to be friends, but they’re not going to hate each other either. not even enough for hate sex, don’t worry, henry checked. 

they bring the person that ronan was apparently switched with up from the bad place. he’s a real environmental lawyer who’s also named ronan lynch, a clean cut Black man with a warm smile and no tattoos who seems liked someone who would have walked across hot coals to help a stranger. 

by pretending to belong here, ronan condemned him to months of torture. he probably deserved it when people start calling the other one “real ronan” and him “fake ronan”. that doesn’t mean he likes, it, though. they could call them suit ronan and leather jacket ronan or something.

apparently, henry cheng was somehow switched with an actual taiwanese monk named jiaynu because they died at the same time. who knew?

there’s a whole big plot to try to keep ronan and henry here in the good place, spearheaded by parrish’s lawyer brain and gansey’s ethical heart, and maybe a lawyer heart and an ethical brain too. he thinks that both of them possess both organs, at least. 

the bad place sends a demon named trevor to pick up him and henry. trevor  reminds ronan too much of kavinsky for comfort. much more than any person should, really. it’s uncanny, and it sets off that same unpleasant feeling in his stomach as henry’s comment about not being able to talk did. the same way that he feels whenever sargent pulls gansey off to do something that gives him anxiety attacks. 

gansey tries to balance his best friend energies very carefully between the two ronans, as to not play favorites when either one of them could be his soulmate, really? how are we supposed to know hahaha oh isn’t this gREAT. gansey’s anxiety is a fragile thing, always like a bottle of soda that’s been shaken to the point where if you open it, it WILL burst. people were always too difficult, which was why he avoided them most of the time. they were hard to put up with, harder still to please. gansey preferred his own company. 

--------

gansey loves learning. that’s kind of always been his thing. he loves school. he loves knowing things. he loves sinking into a good book and trying to piece together what information from it is relevant. people? not so much. people are tricky. people involve interactions constantly, love and affection. he knows that he could, but that involves taking time away from whatever the obsession of the day is, and gansey never met someone who was interesting enough to detract from his obsession of the day back on earth, even his family. 

his sister tried to get him to come to his mother’s congressional campaign events, even one. so did his father and his mother. 

“yes, i’ll be there,” gansey promised absentmindedly, not really planning to. he did not come. he was reading through phillipa foot’s “moral beliefs”. 

“your studies will always come first, won’t they?” his mother

“shit, dick. this is just- this is too much. can’t you do this one thing? fuck you” helen

helen didn’t call again. neither did either of his parents. gansey tried not to think much about the sting. learning was his thing. he was doing it. that’s all that matters. 

he tries to grab the first copies of his dissertations and his copy of death and that original welsh manuscript he picked up a while ago and oh god, he can’t forget his laptop that has so much work on it and- 

the flimsy remains of the roof collapse on him, and richard gansey iii burns to death in that building, along with his research. 

---

gansey’s not decisive, and he’s not a big fan of people, but he cares about ronan and he cares about henry, and he goes to sargent to demand that they remain in the good place. which, for a boy whose indecision killed him, is a pretty big step. sargent is quite impressed, and decides to accept the request and do everything that she can to make it happen. 

parrish suggests that they accrue points so that they can stay, which is an admirable suggestion but doesn’t work because they’re already dead. it’s the reason that he couldn’t move any further up the list to begin with. sargent calls in an impartial “undead judge” to hear the case to see if ronan and henry will get to stay in the good place. 

ronan decides to say fuck it instead and and he and henry steal the dude’s train and hightail it somewhere no one can touch him. apparently, there’s a medium place where everything kind of sucks but no one gets tortured. 

it has exactly one inhabitant, a guy named noah czerny. he was a cokehead skaterbro when he was alive, and the night before he died he came up with an idea to end world hunger and save a ton of kids: the most comprehensive idea for a charity ever, really. his best friend hit him over the head with a skateboard and stole it, but he started up the program that noah thought up. no one could decide whether or not noah should get the points, so they made him a place in the middle. 

a sucky, medium place. like cincinnati. or being dead but not dead in the first place. it’s just a sub par house in the desert with warm beer and mediocre movies, but it’s better than eternal damnation. 

at least, it would be if they didn’t get a message about a decision to send gansey and parrish to the bad place in their stead if they don’t come back. what the fuck is that? who decided that was fair. 

“i guess we need to go back,” henry says sadly. 

“yeah,” ronan says. they do need to go back. ronan doesn’t want to, but he knows they need to. 

“you don’t if you don’t want to,” noah says, “you’re free to stay here.” but ronan grew a conscience back in the good place, and that conscience’s name is gansey. and gansey doesn’t deserve to go to the bad place, and frankly, neither does parrish. ronan’s not about to say that one out loud, though. just because the dude’s hot doesn’t mean that ronan wants to confess any sort of affection for him. 

he’s not an affectionate sort of guy. he loved his dad, and his mom, and his little brother, but all of them are dead. after that, he told exactly two people i love you: stone cold steve austin and a guy in a dark club that he mistook for stone cold steve austin. so yeah, any sort of affection is foreign to him. his only long lasting relationship consisted solely of hate sex. 

they get back to the good place, and they go see sargent. it seems that the problem has become worse since they left. or, maybe better. apparently, they aren’t demanding gansey and parrish specifically anymore, or even ronan and cheng. the immortal judge, apparently, doesn’t give a fuck who they decide to give him, as long as they send two people to the bad place. 

the other ronan (good ronan, real ronan) offers to go, but that still leaves two spots to fill, one of which he is DEFINITELY taking. 

exactly none of this ends well, with a combination of self sacrificing and pure selfishness as they shout at each other, like something out of the lord of the flies or some shit. it finally clicks in ronan’s brain why he’s had that feeling of wrongness. 

“gansey and i are going to the bad place,” ronan says firmly. 

“i didn’t agree to that,” gansey says. 

“what about real ronan?” blue asks. 

“nope,” ronan says, “gansey and i have this covered. call the train.” 

“actually,” the judge says, “ronan and henry were the ones that were originally bad place bound-” 

“nope,” ronan says, “you said any two of us. gansey and i are going.” bambajan bursts into the room with an enormous book open in his arms. 

“i found a way to keep all of you in the good place!” bambajan says.

“shut up, bambajan,” ronan says. sargent’s eyes widen for a moment. she knows that he’s caught on to her throne of lies. 

“ronan, what’s happening?” gansey asks. 

“i just figured out what’s been wrong about this place the whole time. they can’t call us a train to the bad place, because we’re already here. this is the bad place” sargent seems shocked for a moment, but only a moment, before she regains her composure. 

“I don’t know what you mean,” she says smoothly. 

“bullshirt, sargent,” he says, “i’m right.” gansey laughs, nervously. 

“this is a joke, right? please tell me it’s a joke,” he looks down at his hands, “my stomach hurts-” 

“of course it is,” sargent says firmly. shit, this can’t be good. if sargent denies it and no one else believes him, then it won’t make any difference that he knows. it will all just go by the same way until she finally gets him to shut up about it. 

“no,” henry says, “lynch is right- he’s got to be.” sargent sits down, and puts her head in her hands. 

“you’re going to tell them they’re crazy, right?” parrish demands. sargent looks up, and lets out a maniacal laugh. 

“five years of planning,” she says between laughs, “five years down the drain because ronan lynch grew a brain.” 

“actually, i’d say i grew a heart,” ronan says smoothly. 

“that’s a reference to something,” blue says, far too calmly for someone who just admitted to torturing them, “that musical about the green woman who’s in love with the pink one?” 

“close enough,” ronan says. gansey looks like he’s going to die of his stomach ache. 

“what is going ON?!?!” 

“i’ve been torturing you,” blue says, “this is the bad place, do keep up.” 

“what do you mean?” parrish asks, “that can’t be. it can’t be.” sure he was ambitious, but he never did anything wrong. maybe he didn’t do as much right as he could have, but he never did anything actively wrong. 

he wasn’t corrupt- he was smart. he never did anything that was wrong, really, and he tried to do some good too. he belongs in the good place- he has to. 

he worked his way up from nothing, less than nothing really, starting with a loveless, abusive upbringing, then onto a good college and a law degree in record time. he lived the american dream.

when he finished school, he started defending the highest bidder at any cost, in any case. and he took a few charitable cases, stuff that would make him look better. 

blue sargent keeps on laughing. 

“you rich boys, boys who never did anything to help anyone- the definition of idle wealth. all humans are awful, but the four of you?” blue laughs again, that harsh, strident laugh that cuts through the air directly into his soul, “you’re something else.”

“i wasn’t born rich,” adam says adamantly. he might have gotten there, but he wasn’t born into it like the other three. he had to climb a mountain of lava to get where the rest of them started. 

“you weren’t,” blue says, “but did you do anything to help people who were still poor?” adam gets really quiet. 

“you know, how ‘bout i just show you how you died. that’ll clear this all up.” 

“no-” adam says, because he doesn’t remember how he died, but he doesn’t care to. dying has to be traumatic, right? he’s got enough traumatic memories from his lifetime, thank you. he doesn’t need to add deathtime memories onto the scars that his parents left him. apparently, blue doesn’t care what he wants, though, and he’s pulled into the memory. 

---

he’s at a resort, somewhere tropical. he can’t quite remember where he’d decided to go, but it was tropical and set on a cliff side, only about a twenty minute drive from the beach. he always preferred the view from higher up. he could see above the tree tops and the resorts and then the beach and the ocean. swimming in a pool’s simpler than swimming on the beach anyway. 

no sand in his toes or his hair or his ears or anywhere else he won’t be able to wash out for months. he’d tried to like the beach, he really had, because it’s supposed to be a rich leisure activity, but he just couldn’t force himself to. he spent enough of his life getting grimy, thank you very much. now he’ll just appreciate the pool and the view. it’s one of the many things that his high profile job can buy. 

the job was a way to acquire status, same as smoothing over the accent and befriending celebrities and charity banquets and speeches and whatever else he did for his image.  

he’s walking to the pool along a mountain path, beside a small wall separating him from the cliff side and the ocean far below. he’s wearing nothing but a soft t-shirt, a pair of swim trunks, and sandals that cost more than his entire high school wardrobe cost. life is good, at least until he meets up with another guest on the path. 

“adam parrish,” the guy says, like it’s a curse word. adam hasn’t heard his name said that way in a long time. he can’t say that he misses it. 

“yeah?” adam demands. who the fuck is this guy? what’s his problem? he seems familiar, but adam can’t quite place him. he’s known a lot of people in his life, and a lot of them he’s tried to forget. 

“born in 1985 in henrietta virginia,” the guy rattles off, “grew up in a trailer.” 

“i did,” adam says in his clipped off fake east coast accent, “i’m not ashamed of it.” he is, actually, that’s why it’s not public knowledge. he’s not about to let this guy know that, though. 

“you know what you should be ashamed of? getting a murderer off the hook.” 

“alleged,” adam says. there wasn’t enough evidence to convict him in the minds of the jury, so there wasn’t enough evidence to convict him in adam’s mind either. he’s just doing his job. 

“yeah, well that “alleged” murderer killed my mother,” the guy spits. 

“i’m sorry about your mom,” adam says. 

“you aren’t yet,” the kid says, “but you will be.” he takes off his backpack, and then takes out a fucking scrapbook. then he shows it up for adam to see everything he’s ever been embarrassed by staring him back in the face. 

every single incriminating to embarrassing thing that has ever happened to him- every case he’s ever taken that might make him look bad, familial information he’s hidden- ex boyfriends he’s buried for the sake of staying ostensibly straight for his career- every single thing he’s never wanted to come out confined to a single blackmail scrapbook. the craftsmanship is actually impressive. the kid’s dug up secrets that adam has forgotten about himself. 

“what do you want for it?” adam says, handing the book back to him. he’s a little freaked out that the kid dug up this sort of dirt on him, angry to have it shoved in his face, but he’s mainly impressed. it’s the sort of thing that he could and would do. 

“nothing,” the kid says. 

“what?” 

“you can’t have it. i’m taking it to the press.” 

“then why the fuck did you show it to me?” adam says. you don’t pull a play like this without demanding the ransom. you can’t just rip the rug out from under them- 

“i wanted to see the look on your face,” the kid says. then, he turns around to stomp off. adam reaches forward to grab him by the shoulder and turns him back around. 

“you can’t do that,” adam says. 

“yeah,” the boy says, “i can.” he breaks free of adam’s hold, and then grabs his book as he starts to walk away. adam feels rage boiling inside of him. he can’t just- just do that. 

adam doesn’t know if this would be a career ender, but it could hurt him badly. badly enough that he can’t deal with it, not now not ever. he runs towards the guy, in between him and the edge, and grabs the book. the kid keeps his grip tight. 

“let go,” he growls. 

“you let go,” adam demands. 

“fuck off,” the guy shouts as he tries to rip it back away from adam. adam’s more determined, though, and he clutches it as tightly as he can, digging his fingernails into the flimsy material. he has a stronger grasp on it, and then he throws his weight to the side- the side with the short wall over the cliff. he flies into the wall, and then he flies over the edge. he plummets directly down to the rocks below. 

--------

“holy shirt,” adam says. 

“yeah,” blue says, “wonderful, wasn’t it? you all had such entertaining deaths. i’ll need to figure out how to incorporate them better for the next try.” 

“next try?” henry asks. 

“oh yes,” blue says, “i’m going to clear your memories and then try again. really, this was such a learning experience. next time i’ll work all the bugs out.” 

“you can just do this over?” henry asks, sounding horrified. 

“of course,” blue says, “you’ll have your memories erased and we’re going to start again. can’t just leave you like this. it’s no fun torturing you this way if you already know what’s going on.” this explains so much about all of their experiences here in the good place. everything makes sense now. 

“well, i’m a demon,” blue says, “comes with the territory.” 

“a demon,” gansey says, like he still can’t believe what he’s hearing. gansey obviously isn’t present enough to figure out a way out of this mess, and parrish is still reeling from reliving his death. henry’s slightly more put together, but ronan doesn’t think he’s got any ideas for how to stop this either. that means that ronan has to figure out something to save them from this cycle. 

blue did say that this happened because he grew a brain. maybe he can write himself a note or get another tattoo or- 

“i promise after i fix this, you’ll all have long, unhappy lives,” blue sargent says with her widest service worker smile. she snaps her fingers, and then the world goes white.  

bum bum BUMMMMMMMMMMMMM 

if anyone’s interested in a continuation of this, i might do season 2. but the most important part of season 2 is the millions of reboots with different soulmates so here are a few examples 

“gansey, this is your soulmate, the physical manifestation of henrietta virginia” 

“jianyu, this is your soulmate, madonna” 

“adam, this is your soulmate, ronan lynch” 

“ronan, this is your soulmate, stone cold steve austin” 

“this is your soulmate, a raven” 

“this is your soulmate, orla,” blue says, gesturing to the woman. female person. not someone that ronan’s sexually attracted to in the least. 

“this is the bad place, isn’t it?”

“ah fork it all,” blue curses. then, she snaps her fingers and the world resets. 

[i-am-adlocked]

[soulmate au] Everything is Grey

The world is black and white until one meets the other half. FRIENDSHIP, FLUFF, TRAGEDY By CA Hawkins WORD COUNT: 5701

AN: Here it is, an original story by moi. Idea came from Tumblr tho.

I’ve always found it so amusing when the coloured-eyed describe colours to the greyed-eyed. You meet and go with people who complain and look around for clothes to match their shoes, their eyes, their shirt... and you understand why: because they can see colours—because they’ve met their soulmates.

I had always envied them.

Not everyone has met their soulmates but had still ended up with the people they love. Some met their soulmates with their best friends. Some romantic soulmate relationships end due to the fact that they are destined to be together platonically.

The universe may say who your soulmate is—but you can never be sure what your fate together will be.

Speaking of fate, I have four best friends whom I love with all my heart. I don’t think they’ve met their soulmates yet either.

Two girls and two boys.

We all met about six years ago when we were all chosen from our university for some government research I cannot talk about in public... but even though we had finished the research after two quick months (much to the surprise of our superiors), the five of us had kept in touch and we had always spent some time together—mostly drinking in a pub.

Eventually, we all moved to the same city since we all love it here—in London. None of us have close relatives anyway and so we consider ourselves as a family.

Lawrence is a quiet kind of bloke, but he always keeps everyone smiling. He drives us everywhere and he seems to know every pub in the city—which is great! He is a bit shy with the ladies, though. I don’t know why he’s so insecure... He’s the most knowledgeable one in the group and he’s also incredibly sweet.

Sweeney is a rather sarcastic snob and a bit of an arsehole (maybe not a bit) but we keep him in our little family—only because he is extremely loyal and he will, apparently, die in our name. Of course, we also love him... unfortunately.

Felicity is loud. She loves cracking jokes and she loves playing guitar. She’s a heavy drinker but never gets a hangover—flirty but has great integrity—rather brilliant in her own explicable way, and a bit self-centred at times, but would also sit beside you all night if you need it.

Scarlett, my best friend, isn’t very talkative. She most likely has a lot of secrets and is definitely the most mysterious of us all. Oh she’s the most brilliant person I had ever met, and I don’t think there’s anything she can’t do... Oh, wait, she was a bloody horrible flatmate (but she moved in with Lawrence four years ago because his flat is closer to her work than mine)... and a bit of a lazy git at times, but that’s her in a nutshell. 

Still, despite their differences, I’m glad that they were all rather happy for me when I told them that I can finally see colours.

They ask me what it was like, and how it feels like.

“Well... it’s hard to explain,” I answer. Ironically, that’s the answer I hated the most when I asked colleagues before, back when I was greyed-eyed. Well, it is hard to describe.

“How did it happen?” Lawrence asks, interrupting. He always knows what’s the right thing to say or ask. That’s why he’s our group’s leader so to speak.

I tell them the day I first met my boyfriend. 

The first colour I saw was his beautiful brown eyes. I knew then what my favourite colour is: Brown... like the colour of chocolate (I’m still giddy that I can finally understand people when they associate colour with descriptions).

I tell them that Scarlett and I were heading to the pub—just the two of us to hang out—and we decided to go through the park for a shortcut. When I got distracted by a really good violinist who was performing in the middle of the park, Scarlett decided to be a bitch and ditched me... again.

I decided to ask the man nearest to me if he had seen a woman wearing a scarf. When he turned around and looked at me, that’s when the colours exploded in front of me.

I bet we both looked liked two idiot boys, standing in the middle of the park, mouths agape, looking at the world for the first time. Well, to be honest, we kind of did look at the world for the first time—in colour.

“So, this is what the sky looks like,” he whispered to himself, looking up at the blue colour of the sky everyone talked about.

“And this is what green looks like,” I whispered back, looking down at the grass, or is it green? There are so many colours.

I tell my friends that I almost cried that day—that i was so overwhelmed with the plethora of colours and the emotion that I’m seeing the world for the first time. I thought I was going to hyperventilate with happiness.

“God, this is so beautiful,” I whispered to the stranger.

“Howard Ainsley.” He smiled at me, offering his hand.

“Winter Elingston,” I replied, breathing out.

I was talking to my soulmate, for goodness’ sake! I never knew this would happen in such a boring frustrated day. To think that I was merely going to ask a stranger for directions, then boom fucking colours everywhere.

I will never forget that look of surprise on his face.

“Nice to finally meet you,” he told me with a sweet foolish grin.

“Likewise,” I replied, smiling sweetly. 

The universe... the colours are so... beautiful...

“You’re lucky,” Felicity comments after the silence when i’m done telling them the story.

“I know,” I reply honestly.

I look around the pub—the flashing lights on the dance floor that used to be only bright lights—the number of glasses on the shelves in different shades of the window—the plethora of different shirts in different colours... I might never get used to seeing them...

The world is beautiful—fucked up, of course, but still beautiful.

O N E   Y E A R   L A T E R

I’ve been with Howard for a long long time and I had been asked on what my favourite colour is. For a long time, I’ve always wanted to be asked about this. now, I can never stop feeling the happiness of the realisation that I am so used to this question.

To the colour-eyed, this question becomes a part of their normalcy and it can be easy to forget that not all people are coloured-eyed.

That is my mistake.

“What’s your favourite colour?” I accidentally ask Scarlett, who is spending a week in my flat because I insisted her to.

As much as I love Howard visiting me in my lonely flat, I still miss my best friend making her own mess everywhere. It’s boring not to clean up blood (borrowed from the hospital) on the floor and other internal organs cluttered around the kitchen (borrowed from somewhere Scarlett won’t tell me about).

My thoughts about my best friend dissipate at the glare she is giving me. Realising what I had just asked, I shrink in embarrassment.

“Oh God, sorry,” I say, blushing.

“It’s quite alright,” she says in her usual cool tone, but I notice a slight edge in it. “You’re already coloured-eyed. It’s your version of normal, of course. Alas, for me, still, everything is grey,” Scarlett continues, gesturing around in a theatrical manner, “and it probably will for a long long time—forever even.” She shrugs.

Pity. It’s a shame she can’t exactly see how beautifully blue her eyes are. Before, I’ve always thought they were so pale—almost white... but no, they’re startlingly blue. As for me, I just found out I’ve always had dark sea-green eyes.

“I’m sorry,” I mutter again.

“Elingston, stop apologising,” she says sternly. I chuckle to myself because she always loves calling us by our first names—something about not being too close to us, but obviously failing.

In our group of scientists (whom I know consider as family), Scarlett is the most analytically creative between the five of us. Sure, I may be the one who always questions everything; Sweeney may be the one who conjures up the suggestions; Felicity may be the one who never gives up; and Lawrence may be the one who always finds the answer...

...but Scarlett is all of us rolled into one, but instead of everything being a matter of hopeful possibility, it becomes a matter of definite probability—and that’s one of the reason why she’s my best and most trusted friend...

...and inside that façade of hers, I know she is also the most emotional and caring person in the planet—which is probably why she hides her emotions well—too well... No one knows her like we do. The four of us can see through all those clever lies. She’s the most human of us all—probably a side-effect of being nearly all-knowing...

...since emotion and humanity are a part of that brain of hers... but she never shows it. Still, we all assume she’s both aromantic and asexual. Come to think of it, she never says anything about herself much.

I wonder what else she hides in that metaphorically huge head of hers.

Looking at her right now, lying down on the ground, relaxing with her arms being used as her own pillow, it made me think. I just realised why I would ask such a question—her favourite colour.

It was a niggling sensation at the back of my head—something we have all seen but never really observed enough... and I want to smack my head silly because it is something so drastically obvious:

Scarlett can always match her clothes.

“Scar, may I ask you something?” I start again.

She hums in reply, closing her eyes. “Sure, what is it?” she asks me in the usual bored and sleepy tone of hers.

I observe her once more—on the ground as we listen to some Chopin—wearing her usual beige dressing gown which matches the colour of her brown silk pyjamas. The fact that I can always see her in one of two colours ever since I became coloured-eyed just surprises me.

There was not a day Scarlett wore anything mismatched. I had seen the others wear mismatched shirts, coats, waistcoats, trousers, shoes, and even socks—kinda embarrassing really—and it’s all because they’re all greyed-eyed.

Oh my God. Has she already met her soulmate but never told us?

“How do you match your clothes?” I ask.

“Pardon?” she asks, opening her eyes to look at me confusedly. “I don’t think I heard you correctly.”

“I asked you how you matched your clothes.”

She sits up almost immediately at that. “I don’t... Winter, you know, I feel like you’re starting to offend me by rubbing the fact that you’re coloured-eyed to my face. I don’t care about colours or the fact that I’m greyed-eyed. Are we clear on that? When is the attempt to brag ever going to end?”

“I’m not trying to brag!” I exclaim.

“Then, pray tell, what are you doing if not insulting me? Because we both know I will always have greyed-eyed.”

“I’m just trying to ask how—”

“Yes?” she interrupts.

“—how in the world do you manage to always have your clothes matched?” I ask her calmly.

She lies back down on the floor with a sigh, returning to her previous position. “That’s it?”

“Yes.”

“I buy everything in one set of colour every time I shop for clothes. The lady in the shop always guides me with the colours and I trust her judgment. Their matching colours are all in a certain order in my wardrobe so they are all in track to match their colours,” she explains. “Simple, really.”

“In what order are they organised?” I ask sceptically.

“Their chronology,” she answers, “of when I bought them. I even had the colours labelled, thanks to the lady there. With the help of society and information from the internet, I always know which colour to match together, and which colour never to match with.”

I nod to myself. “You do wear red almost all the time though.”

“As people had told me,” she answers plainly. “It is the first set of clothes in the wardrobe that I am able to reach easily. It’s not a surprise I always wear them. Plus, the texture of the clothing is better, and people compliment me on how it looks good on me, and how the colour makes me stand out more. I figured it best to wear them the most.”

Seems fair to me and I actually agree with what she said... but...

“Well... why the effort? Why would you go through all that? Why do you have to match the colours of your clothes? I mean, what’s the point? You can’t even see it...” I regret my words immediately after I said them.

Before I could apologise, however, Scarlett answers, “I may not see it but those who see colours do and I do not want to look moronic in front of them, to be quite honest. Imagine if you would see me in such atrocious colours... People say mismatched clothes could be unappealing,” she continues. “I don’t want people to see me as anything less than I want to exhibit.”

“So, you’re saying... you went through all that trouble for the sake of fashion?”

“Yes,” she answers plainly, “are we done now? I want to nap.”

Right... Maybe I’m wrong.

T W O   Y E A R S   L A T E R

Scarlett has already been told about my new announcement but she still insists on pretending not to know as we gather everyone in our favourite pub.

“So, why are we here?” Sweeney asks. “What’s the occasion?”

“Why would you all think there’s an occasion?” I ask.

“Come on, Winter... You were practically screaming on the phone,” Felicity observes, smiling amusedly.

“And we never come here on a Tuesday,” Lawrence points out. “So what’s the big news that can’t wait until Friday?”

“God, there’s absolutely no secret that can pass by here, is there?” I sigh, laughing. “Guess there’s no point in delaying anything—I’m moving in with Howard,” I announce.

Howard had spent a lot of time with these idiots. They seem to get on pretty well and thankfully, the others love him—which is actually a huge relief to me. Then again, Howard is my soulmate—my other half. Of course, if my friends love me, it’s only natural that my friends would love my other half, too.

Felicity starts shaking in happiness. Lawrence congratulates me with a pat on the shoulder. Sweeney gets the first round. Scarlett just sits there, looking out the window, wearing her signature blood red shirt and blood red scarf—but she said she doesn’t see colours so maybe it’s just her usual clothes and not her signature colour. For me, I’d say it still is.

“God, when’s he proposing?” Lawrence asks. “I think it’s about time, don’t you?” he asks me.

“Really, Law? Marriage? You may be a romantic but I’m not. Let’s focus on moving with him first before all that.” I laugh as they do.

He playfully punches me in the arm. “Come on! You’re moving in with your soulmate! And you’ve been together for about—what?—two years already? Of course, that’s going to lead to a proposal! That’s worth twenty rounds of drinks!”

“I suppose so.” I laugh.

“God, I’d kill for that opportunity. You’re so lucky. What does it look like again? The world in colour?” Felicity asks for the nth time.

“You know that I find it hard to explain. You feel colours. We can’t explain it... You can’t explain the unexplainable,” I say. “Even Science can’t explain this.”

“Fuck Science,” Felicity mocks.

“Feli, you’re a genius architects,” Lawrence points out.

“Fuck Science,” she repeats, laughing. “Speaking of which... Hey, Scar!”

Scarlett hums in answer, turning away from the window. What is she looking at out there anyway?

Oh...

Fireworks...

Colourful fireworks...

“Did you ever wonder what colours look like?” Felicity asks the others.

Just then, Sweeney arrives with the drinks and after being told by Felicity of what we are talking about, starts spewing stories about who he tried to imagine what they look like and ended up with a large headache.

“No,” Scarlett answers simply, dismissing us all by looking out the window again. With Scarlett, you never know what personality she has. She can be sweet, loud, or never talk at all. Her personality is all jumbled.

We all look at Lawrence who shifts uncomfortably on his seat. “I never really thought about it.”

“It must be beautiful,” Felicity moans. “Come on, colours! When will I ever see ya?!” she groans.

“You’ll meet your soulmate, Feli,” Sweeney says. “Too bad it isn’t me.” He winks at her. Felicity laughingly hits Sweeney on the back of his head.

Lawrence clears his throat, looking down at the table as if he is in some sort of trance. “Colours are amazing.” Everyone stares at him and he finally looks up, clearing his throat. “Theoretically, for us greyed-eyed, of course.” He whispers, “They say colours are so beautiful.” He smiles at the table once more.

Then I finally notice that Lawrence is wearing a blood red tie that matches with his brown three-piece suit.

M O M E N T S   L A T E R

"Law, can I ask you something?” I ask Lawrence who had volunteered to drive me back home to Howard.

“Sure, anything.” He smiles briefly before turning his eyes back on the road.

“The colours of your clothes match,” I blurt out before I stop myself.

“That’s... not really a question, Winter,” he points out.

He didn’t deny nor confirm it—which means it’s worth investigating.

“I know... but what I’m asking is: who’s your soulmate? and why didn’t you tell us that you’re already coloured-eyed? and how long?” I ask him.

Lawrence looks at me briefly before sighing. “Swear on your life you won’t tell anyone.”

I nod. “Yes, I promise.”

“Not even Scar,” he points out because I always tell her everything.

“Yes, of course, I promise.”

He nods absentmindedly before smiling. “Well, she doesn’t want to be known. To be honest, I don’t want to expose anything about her either but... obviously, we’ve met. We’re both well aware about us being soulmates and we, er, always meet in secret and that’s when the fun usually begins.” He smiles.

“Do you love each other?”

“Well, if we didn’t, we wouldn’t be married now, would we?”

“WHAT?!” I yell out. “Married? What do you mean married? We haven’t even met her and you’re saying that you’re bloody married?! MARRIED?!”

“In secret, yeah. It was her idea to keep the marriage a secret, and I agree. No one knows about it and we love it that way... but it was my idea to get married. I proposed the usual way—fancy dinner, and with a ring, of course. Still, we always go to fancy restaurants so I didn’t look suspicious... Completely took her by surprise—which is saying something because she doesn’t get surprised easily.” Lawrence laughs.

"How long have you seen colours?" I ask.

"Eight? Nine years?" Lawrence shrugs.

"And how long have you been married?" I ask again.

He smiles. "Seven years."

"Jesus. That long?" I ask and Lawrence nods.

“Honestly, the moment I saw colours, neither of us said anything. I actually thought—no—feared that I was the only one who saw the colours but that was logically impossible... Soulmates are shared bonds so—of course—it had to be her... I remember she was wearing good but mismatched clothes—the look on her face...” He laughs. “I think that was the only time I ever saw her be horrified with herself... but coincidentally, we were wearing the same shirt colour.”

“Does she live with you?”

“No,” he laughs. “That would be hard since Scar lives with me. I’m just glad my soulmate is not the jealous type and she completely trusts me. Scar doesn’t know about her, of course, but our relationship works. My wife and I may be an odd couple but we work—beautifully.”

“You won’t stop talking.” I point out since Lawrence is usually quiet.

“You have no idea how long I’ve always wanted to talk about her. Obviously, I can’t say her name because she’ll kill me if she finds out but, at least, I could say things about her. Granted, I agreed with the secrecy and I love it but... I love her so much, you know? It’s hard not to say anything.” His voice dies down before he whispers, “She humbles me. I’ve always thought I was the smartest person in the room all the time... but then there’s her. I was so different. She made me a better man.”

“You've known your soulmate for a long time; you’re lucky.” I smile.

“Not always—I see you, Felicity, and Sweeney wear hideously coloured clothes all the time. Now, that’s unlucky... although... Scar always wear matched clothes, right? Did you notice that?” he asks me.

“Yeah... yeah, I did.”

“Do you think she met her soulmate? Did she tell you something about it?” he asks me. “She wouldn’t tell me.”

“Well, she told me she didn’t.”

“That’s a load of bull,” he exclaims.

“She says she buys everything in a colour set,” I explain and Lawrence nods, thinking deeply.

“Shame. I was kind of hoping there was something more to that. Imagine Scarlett finding her soulmate? She’d be furious—considering she's not interested about those kinds of things.”

“I don’t know... I still think she’s hiding something,” I add.

“Whatever it is, she will tell us eventually... I hope...” He laughs and I join him because it’s Scarlett. She won’t say shit.

T H R E E   Y E A R S   L A T E R

Tonight, Howard and I cuddle on the sofa as we watch telly when a banging on the door breaks our little Saturday ritual.

My husband stands up to go greet the person on the door. I close the telly and hear some mumbling before a pair of footsteps echoes through the corridor, making its way to the living room.

To my surprise, Scarlett enters. Her clothes are dripping wet from the rain outside—making her body shiver... but that’s not what surprised me.

Scarlett looks lost—scared beyond relief—and she has tears as well as scratches on her eyes.

“I’ll go make a cuppa,” Howard whispers, leaving us.

Scarlett’s legs folds under her and she sits down on the floor before bawling like a child. I don’t know what to do. I’ve never comforted Scarlett before because she never cried in front of me before.

"Scar, what is it?" I try to ask, crouching down in front of her and putting a tentative hand on her shoulder.

Her only answer was a mere moan of pain. My eyes tear up at the sight of our most calculated analytical mind suffering under the maddening curse of being human.

I quickly text everyone to meet up at our house. Howard quietly places the tray with the tea on the table and stands on the side, giving both of us some space.

My attention goes back to Scarlett who whispers one thing, “Can’t...” and she cries out in pain once more.

I try my best to comfort her and Howard actually replaces me for the moment because I’m not really doing a good job with comforting her.

"Oh God, what happened?" Felicity asks when she barges in after being greeted by Howard, crouching down beside me. Sweeney quickly sits beside Scarlett and pulls her into a crushing hug, unlocking more of her emotions and making her cry harder, clutching Sweeney’s jacket tight.

I stand up, pulling Felicity with me, and whisper as to not be heard by Scarlett. "How'd you get here?" I ask Felicity first.

"Sweeney and I were both in the pub when you called," she answers. "God, what do we do?"

"Where's Law?" I ask Felicity. "If anyone knows Scar's limits, it's Lawrence."

"I've been trying to call him; no answer," Felicity whispers, shaking at the sight of a bawling Scarlett. "God, it's hard to see Scar this way. Did she tell you what happened?"

"I don't know." I panic. "She never cries in front of anyone—not to my knowledge, anyway," I say. "One of the two greatest minds in the generation—crying senseless. Fuck, I don’t know what to do. I’m terrible with these kind of things."

We both turn back around when Scarlett suddenly yells out. The three of us are at a dead end. We don't know what to do. Seeing Scarlett cry is new for all of us. We may be the chosen ones for the government's research due to our combined intelligence but we are still at a lost with dealing with human emotions.

"Gone!" Scarlett yells.

"What's gone?" Felicity asks her gently, sitting down on Scarlett's other side..

"Gone," Scarlett whispers, leaning on Sweeney as he cradles her quietly.

"What's gone, Scar?" I ask.

Scarlett whimpers in reply and more tears fall from her eyes.

"It's okay. We've got you," Sweeney whispers, his hand going through Scarlett's hair to comfort her.

We all keep quiet.

Too bad I didn't observe enough. I would have seen Scarlett wearing a black left shoe and a brown right shoe.

M U C H   L A T E R

Lawrence's funeral was held quietly.

Car accident.

"Lawrence Alcott was a good man—the best man," Sweeney says, his voice trembling. "He's my best mate. I still don't—I don't know why this has to happen. I'm an arsehole and I had some words at him too but he stuck by me. He's a really good man and I don't know why this has to—I'm just—I'm really angry at him for—for leaving." Sweeney wipes his tears angrily and doesn't bother to finish his speech and walks away. He and Sweeney were inseparable—except to death, apparently.

Felicity walks in front, "Lawrence is... was a kind man—the most generous person you could ever hope for. With him, I could see colours. I may still be greyed-eyed, but Law here—Law gives out his own colours." Felicity laughs. "He may be the smartest man on Earth but he is also an idiot—our idiot. We love him so much and this is really unfair. Law keeps us all together. He's our glue. We could easily fall apart without him. This is—this is just so hard."

I walk in front, trembling. Felicity and Sweeney smile at me despite both having tears in their eyes. Howard gives me a small encouraging smile—my rock. Scarlett is still stone-faced. She has been quiet all day—all of us, really, but her quietness is too loud, even for me. She had been screaming inside that head of hers and every one of us can hear it.

"Lawrence saved my life countless of times, in many different ways. He's our leader. Now, we're afraid we'd be lost without him. He has been more like a brother to me than a friend, to be honest... and I love him like one would treat family. Bit of a reckless idiot, yes, but he was young—too young and I can't believe I am standing here right now." My voice breaks and I pause. Sniffing, I say what I always tell Lawrence, "Law, you idiot," probably for the last time.

I go back to my seat before I drop there and then and start screaming.

Scarlett walks slowly in front—not a tear or emotion in her eye. Facing Lawrence's coffin, she sighs and turns to stare at everyone. The three of us have been waiting for her speech since she had not said a word since this morning and we all wish to know what she's about to say.

"Of all the ways Lawrence could have died, it had to be a car accident." She laughs humourlessly. "The two of us had talked about it once. He said he wanted to die a tragic but unforgettable death. I knew he was talking about dying in a theatrical manner from a gun shot or something heroic like that—something worth writing in our history books... but who knew that even with something as ordinary as a car crash, he still died tragically in an unforgettable way—guess he still got what he wanted, then."

Scarlett breathes in as she looks at Lawrence's direction again.

"Lawrence is someone I hold very dear to me... and I never say that plainly. He is my first friend—the first person to talk to me. The first thing he told me was, 'If you ever take my job from me, I'll cut you in half.'" Everyone manages to laugh at that. "The last thing he ever told me is something I cannot say for I wish to cherish it for as long as I am living. He's the best person I have ever met and I will always keep him in my heart—and yes, I do have one."

We all look at her, and she smiles at us.

"As you can see from my friends' faces, my words aren't usual. I would never say things like this about anyone, but there is always one exception with every rule. Lawrence will always be my one exception. You'd expect that from me, but I will always think of him as he once said he'd do for me if I ever died before him: Perfectly impossible to exist."

Scarlett insists on digging Lawrence's grave herself.

She doesn't let anyone help her. She practically growled at Sweeney when he tried taking the shovel away from her... but it doesn't matter. Scarlett is a strong woman. She can do this. It is an intimate act—to bury your loved one, and Lawrence was her best friend.

Sweeney, Felicity, and I stand behind Scarlett, looking down at Lawrence's grave as everyone else goes home after the funeral service.

"Everything is grey," she whispers, tears on her cheeks.

"Grey?" Sweeney asks.

Scarlett nods. "Grey," she whispers, gesturing around.

The three of us look at each other, surprised with the revelation.

"He's your soulmate, then?" Felicity asks.

"And husband," Scarlett answers.

"You're married?!" The two shrieks. I give them pointed looks to let Mrs. Scarlett Alcott grieve. I mouth to them that I'll tell the whole story later.

She laughs for a moment. When she stops, she adds, "I'm pregnant, too," with a shaking voice. She whimpers with her words, opening her large coat and placing her hand on a bump where a child is brewing.

"He was so happy..." she cries.

This is all new for us but we don't speak.

She continues almost hysterically with her voice unusually high-pitched, "W-we were going to... to... finally tell you all—about us... about this," she says, gesturing at her eyes. "We were going to surprise you all by... by going to the pub t-together with... with a b-baby in my arms and our wedding bands on. The plan was so perfect."

Her voice breaks at the end and she starts crying again, bending down as if she was punched in the gut as she finally lets go of her bottled up emotions. Sweeney and Felicity are beside her almost immediately, helping her stand up.

She takes something out from her pocket. A gold band wedding ring and a gold ring with a ruby (probably the engagement ring) and places them on her left ring finger.

"At least we finally wore the wedding rings outside the comforts of our isolation at the same time," she whispers weakly. "He's wearing it right now—his own wedding band... My dead husband is wearing his wedding ring."

Scarlett suddenly falls down on her knees and screams out.

Felicity, Sweeney, and I all kneel down with her and hug her.

"Winter..." Scarlett whispers.

"Yes?" I ask.

"Did I bring the right scarf?" she asks me. I look and see her raise her signature blood red scarf. "Is it our... colour?" she asks me.

"Is your colour blood red?" I ask. She winces but nods. "Yes, you—you have the right colour..."

She removes herself from us and moves closer to Lawrence's grave. "Warm up, my love," she whispers, putting the scarf around the grave as if it was Lawrence's neck. "I don't want you to get cold." Scarlett's voice cracks on the last part.

When we all leave, Sweeney decides to drive Scarlett to her and Lawrence's secret family home. Felicity is still shaking as we leave.

Howard has been waiting for me outside the cemetery patiently. I quickly hug my husband, not wanting to let go.

I don't want to see the world in black and white.

Not ever.

To read more: https://www.wattpad.com/story/43551432-soulmate-au

A U T H O R ‘ S   N O T E

Here it is, the first story out of many more I am willing to write. Just tell me what you think and whether I should continue posting my other works...

Oh, and FUN FACT!

“Warm up, my love, I don’t want you to get cold,” are the last words Scarlett heard Lawrence say.

What happened is that: 

Lawrence drove Scarlett to her office because it was raining. She was going to go there to finish some work she needed done by Monday (remember, this is a Saturday). Before Scarlett leaves the car, Lawrence tells her the scarf thing... He died while he was driving back home because it was rainy and some idiot driver decided to be an idiot and crashed him.

...Okay, maybe not a fun fact.

im sorry

[lovingthatcityview]

Soulmates, Twin Flames and Kindred Spirits – Which Have You Met?

by Aletheia Luna 32 Comments

SHARES 14K

Love. It exists within all people, places and things. It is inextricably linked to God or Spirit. It is the most powerful force in the universe.

In the grand scheme of things, Love encompasses all, so why is there a need to distinguish one type of love from another? The answer is that in order to spiritually evolve as individuals, we often need to label what we feel and experience. This helps us to better understand what we’re going through on the physical plane.

Before you continue please know that all unconditional forms of love are no better or worse than each other. They all bring their own unique gifts and lessons. They are equal.

The Difference Between Soulmates, Twin Flames and Kindred Spirits

Soulmates, twin flames and kindred spirits are all phrases that have been used to describe relationships that touch our souls and change our lives forever. But what is the difference between all of these terms? I’ll share my interpretation below. Please note that I’m revealing my own experience (and yours might differ). In my life I’ve had the good fortune of experiencing all three types of love. Mateo Sol, my partner and co-writer of this website, is what I would consider both a soul mate and twin flame. So the people in our lives can definitely overlap these definitions!

Kindred Spirits

Kindred spirits are individuals that resonate at the same level, or frequency, as us. As everything in life is composed of energy, we often feel attracted to some people and repelled by others. Have you ever spoken to a person who just seems to “vibe” or “click” with you? That person was probably a kindred spirit vibrating at the same energetic level as you.

Physically, a kindred spirit could be anything: a close friend, a confidant, a family member, a teacher, a lover, a pet, or even a land form.

Kindred spirits often play a very passive role in our lives. In other words, they do not play a very major part in our spiritual growth, but they do comfort and support us. Often kindred spirits share the same personality types as us, as well as similar tastes, interests and passions. While not all kindred spirit connections are necessarily deep and soulful, some can be (these can be thought of as “soulfriend” connections).

Soulmates

Soulmates are people in our lives whom we connect with on a deep level. As the name implies, soulmates are primarily friends of the soul. If you have found your soulmate they will likely be the best, and truest friend, you will ever have. You’ll be able to share everything with your soulmate, from your wildest dreams, to your most shameful secrets. Nothing is off limits.

Spiritually, soulmates usually play a major role in your development. It is possible for soulmates to be platonic, romantic and/or sexual in nature. You can also have multiple soulmates in one lifetime, hence the many love triangles we see and experience.

There are a few different types of soulmate. Sol narrows them down in this article, but you can read a summarized version here:

Soul friends — Soul friends are very similar to kindred spirits. However, the essential difference between the two is that kindred spirits are more personality-based, and soul friends are more essence-based. In other words, soul friends share our deepest dreams, values and drives (not just similar personalities and tastes). This is the most common type of soulmate.

Soul teachers — As the name suggests, soul teachers appear in our lives to help teach us vital life lessons. Sometimes these lessons are taught deliberately, and other times these lessons are unintentional. Soul teachers often appear in the form of ex-lovers, family members, friends and even enemies.

Soul companions — This type of soulmate is a combination of both friend and teacher. In fact, soul companions most closely match people’s perception of what a “soul mate” is. As confidants, soul companions deeply understand, love and cherish us. The depth and blissful harmony that you experience in this relationship will outshine any other that you’ve ever had.

Twin Flames

Many people have asked me whether it’s possible to have more than one twin flame. My response is that it could be possible, but I doubt it. As the word “twin” implies, we only have one twin flame in this life. Sometimes we don’t even meet our twin flame in this incarnation, but rest assured, we have always been connected to them on the level of Spirit.

Twin flames are our mirrors. They reflect back to us our every strength, insecurity, weakness and shadow element. The purpose of the twin flame relationship is to help us undergo soulwork and become the best version of ourselves possible. But here’s the thing, at first twin flame relationships can be intense and tumultuous. This can carry on for many years. But once both egos surrender to their purging and purification, the gifts of humility, empathy and unconditional love are finally obtained.

Our twins reflect the disowned parts of ourselves; they are the yins to our yangs, the suns to our moons, and the light to our darkness. They propel us into shadow work, deep self-discovery and the fulfillment of our potential.

Your twin flame could be your greatest dream or your worst nightmare (or both). They will test you, provoke you and love you fiercely all at once.