#my uterus is shattering

[lavendel081]

Might as well post Wips of the next episode here

[theyanderespecialist]

Base Yandere Aphrodite Headcanons: And She Took That Personal! (Greek Mythology)

[Hello, My Sexy Muffins! I am finally back with a new God/Mythology Video! This one is of Base Yandere Aphrodite from Greek Mythology!!! Please enjoy this!]

(DISCLAIMER: This is Based on Aphrodite from Myth, she most likely is not Yandere in canon! This is just for fun and not to be taken seriously at all! Simping for fictional characters and yanderes is fine. Just do not be illegal or gross about it! Yanderes are not ideal partners to have in real life! Also, remember to separate fiction from reality and headcanon from canon!)

-Base Yandere Headcanons with Aphrodite, From Greek Mythology-

.Aphrodite is the Goddess of Sexual beauty. 

.There is not a man she cannot get, there are also a lot of women she cannot get. 

.She can easily invoke lust and desire. 

.Then there is you, the second human to steal her heat. 

.You are different from the human man that she fell in love with all those years ago. 

.You are a stunning creature beyond words! She needs to have you as hers and hers alone. 

.She is beyond smitten with you and knows that you and she will have fruitful children, may you be a uterus owner she will get the best godly sperm for you. If you are in the possession of balls she will bear your seed. 

.Either way, you and her will have godly offspring. 

.She is also going to do what it takes to woo you. 

.Very romantic outings with you, where she makes her desires for you very VERY clear. 

.She of course knows you will want her, I mean come on she is the goddess of beauty, sexual love, pleasure, and fertility what more could you want? 

.She like many other gods, is obsessive and possessive. 

.She would not want to share you at all! 

. Especially with no mortal. 

.And with Aphrodite if you were with a mortal woman? She would take that as a personal insult. 

.She is the Goddess of love and beauty and pleasure. What could some mortal woman give you that she cannot? 

.She is also one of your more vain and jealous goddesses. This is one of the biggest reasons that the whole Trojan War was started. 

.So she would take you being with someone other than her, male or female, but especially female as the biggest insult. 

.But do not worry you are her sweet little pet, she would never take this anger out on you! 

.Your lover though? Well remember all the things the Greek gods have done to women and men but mainly women (Yeah she is going to make your lovers suffer beyond words) 

.Turning them into horrific things and maybe even getting animals involved. 

.She does not care she is not sharing with any rivals, she is your Goddess and you will be hers and ONLY HERS. 

.She is particularly aggressive, petty, and vengeful with her female rivals, making them suffer the biggest humiliation and pain! 

.She has to shatter them. 

.She would confess to you after probably killing her rivals taking you close and kissing you. 

.If you kiss back and accept her love well you will be made into some immortal and will stay by her side for the rest of time. 

.If you turn her down? She will have to kidnap you and punish you, you should not be better than to turn down a literal Goddess, especially when that Goddess has given you her heart! 

.Do not worry she will break that spirit of yours and teach you that she is all that you need and that you will be much happier with her. 

.Whether you wanted it or not! 

.She would also use sex as a way to tame you, manipulating her skills in the bedroom. 

[YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS Another chapter is done! I hope that you all enjoyed this, and stay sexy, all of my sexy muffins!] 

[xhoneygirlxx]

he's not magic

eddie munson x fem!reader

summary: the time of the month has come and Eddie is the only person who can sooth you.

warnings: talks about menstrual cycles/blood. mentions of dying. tooth rotting fluff. Eddie is a cutie pie. pet names used; sweetheart, baby, honey. shitty writing/spelling errors; if you find any plz ignore it lolololololol.

a/n: i'm currently in so much pain from my period and the only thing i want is for someone to coddle me and tell me i'm going to be ok. i hope you guys enjoy this very small thing, it's not much and it's not good but maybe it'll help you feel good on those days when life is shit. love you all <3

--

You're dying, a slow, painful, and mournful death. At this point you stopped caring, stopping all the begging you've done all morning for your life to continue. If this was how you were going out than so be it, you just wished your end had come faster.

You've already bled through two pairs of panties and two pairs of shorts, now left in your trusty period panties and an oversized shirt. Your stomach was bloated to the point it was uncomfortable, your breasts were so swollen that your chest felt like it was going to concave under the weight, and your back felt as if it was going to snap in half at any moment.

It felt like you tried everything, ibuprofen, heating pad, and propping a pillow in between your legs - none of the tricks worked. Now you were left in the fetal position, arms wrapped around your middle and knees pulled to your chest.

For the past how ever many hours you've been moaning out in pain, the stabbing feeling in your uterus just too much to handle. You're sure if someone were to walk in and see you they'd think you were insane and right now you couldn't blame them.

You did look insane, hair wild and matted to your face from all the sweat you've accumulated, voice hoarse and scratchy from all the wounded animal sounds you've made, and your face screwed up in an unflattering way.

Your phone has gone unanswered all day, the only person to have texted you was Eddie. At first it was only tik toks, small comments he thought would make you giggle, and then it turned into him updating you about his day at work, and finally worried questions about if you were okay.

You felt so fucking guilty for not responding, not telling him that you were fine but you just physically couldn't move from your crouched position. This only made you angrier, the fact that your temporarily paralyzed and are restricted from doing the things you need to do.

The fridge sits empty and in need of new groceries, laundry stays piled up by the washer where they wait to be cleaned, and Eddie is waiting for your response worrying about your well being - that is if he hasn't already contacted the national guard to track your location.

Everything is so shitty, the pain, the hurting, the guilt, the frustration. You feel like you're a balloon that's been filled up too much and is waiting to burst at the seams.

You don't have to take long before the heated tears from your eyes fall down, hitting the bridge of your nose, only to land on the pillow beneath your head. It's not a violent cry, at least not yet, just frustrated tears that seem to slip away from their barricade.

You don't even notice the front door of your apartment opening or the sound of Eddie calling for your name, only focusing on the pulsating of your uterus that debilitates your body.

"Fuck, baby I've been worried about you," You don't even turn and look at him, your eyes are still harshly closed. By the sound of his voice you know he's out of breath, brown curls probably wild from the speed of his running.

"Shit, sweetheart, are you okay?" The worry in his voice hits right on the spiderweb crack, shattering you into a million little pieces.

You can't hold it back, the wailing that rips from your throat is something close to bone chilling. Tears streams from your eyes without relent, whole body shaking from the cries that rip from your body.

It doesn't take more than thirty seconds to feel the bed dip as your boyfriend crawls into bed next to you. He doesn't think twice before pulling you in, one arm wrapped around your back and the other soothing down your hair on the side of your head.

"It's okay, baby. M'here, you're okay." Eddie coos and it's like music to your ears.

The warmth from his body fills you in a way your heating pad couldn't. Even with the mucus that fills your nose you catch a whiff of his scent, smoke, pine, and outside -undoubtedly him. His calloused hand runs soothingly up and down your back, allowing your bones to relax into his touch.

Eddie doesn't have to ask, he knows you better than you know yourself, and the way your scrunched up on your bed and crying he knows that you've been battling your pain all day.

"Sweetheart, you have to breath. Can you do that for me? Take one big deep breath, s'all I want, okay?"

You nod your head against his chest, following the way his chest moves as he demonstrates for you. Between hiccupped breaths and streaming tears, you allow your lungs to fill up with as much air as you can take in, releasing it right after in one long exhale.

"Good job, baby. Did such a good job f'me." Eddie's being soft with you, a side of him he only allows you to see and no one else.

You let his praise melt over you, soaking it right up like the plants in a drought. For the first time since you woke up you feel lighter, something you only feel when Eddie's by you. The cramps that have been going nonstop have finally subsided, the presence of your boyfriend scaring them away.

"It hurt so bad, Eds. S'really bad today." Your voice is shaky, as if one wrong move and you can break out into another sob.

"I know, honey, but it's okay. I'm gonna take care of you, kay? I'm gonna make it all better."

You both know that he has no control over what your body decides to do but just the promise alone has your worries easing away. Your body relaxes into him, your knees slowly falling down to their normal position until your laying right up against him.

"On a scale from one to ten, where are you at?" You take a moment to think about it, really evaluating the squeezing of your organs.

"Was a ten but now it's like a seven."

Eddie hums, his hand still soothing up and down your back. A small pause settles over his words, like he's trying to wrack his brain for the next action he's going to make so you can feel better.

"How 'bout you get some rest, then when you get up we'll get you something to eat? Sound okay?" You nod again, too tired to form any sort of response.

Eddie acknowledges your response with a kiss to the top of your head, making you hum in content when he does. It doesn't take long for the tiredness of your body to settle over you, quiet snores coming from your nose in no time.

Even if his arms fall asleep and his back feels stiff, Eddie stays there with you, soothing you in your sleep to ensure that your pain stays at bay. When you do wake up he's right there, waiting for you with some water and more medicine before helping you into the shower.

He's not magic and he has no idea what to do when it comes to woman's health but Eddie Munson will be damned if a period makes his girl cry like that again.

---

[theshinazugawaslut]

Yall, look at this Sanemi fanart I found — the way I would let this man fuck me raw into oblivion with no protection, no lubricant, no preparation, no warning, no shame, all the way on my mums bed to my dads bed, against the bathroom door to bent over my bath tub, on the toilet and against the cover, from the kitchen sink to the balcony, from my bed to his bed, against the fan and against the wardrobe, draped over the washing machine to hunched behind the fridge, between day and dawn to twilight and midnight, on a chair, on a train, on a bus, during class, on a video call, upside on a tree, in a sewer, on the battlefield, behind a bush, on his mother's gravestone, in a puddle of piss as I scream, cry, whimper, beg, moan his name, huffing and puffing entirely out of breath, I need him biblically as he gives me the most bone breaking, singularity causing, toe clenching, pussy wettening, ass slapping, cheek jiggling, back arching, toes curling, feet snapping, finger popping, hair pulling, writhing, orgasmic, fist clenching, tongue drooling, muscle exploding, eye watering, leg divorcing, knee breaking, shin sucking, nipple bursting, hip thrusting, anus clenching, clit vibrating, knuckle cracking, jaw dislocating, nose bleeding, skin peeling, bone acidifying, hip thrusting, sheet gripping, spinal cord shattering, eyelashes flying off my face, spectacle destroying, over stimulating, cervical mucus ovulating, hormones off the chart, pregnancy inducing, swollen bump causing, ribs expanding to keep inside all his salty cum, nail biting, gravity defying, volcano erupting, uterus popping, ovary exploding orgasm of my life.

[aviradasa]

I know this is my second request in less than 30 minutes, but what about a fic of reader and leola, Both sync during that time of the month and they just sass and complain about everything Aaravos does down to his cooking while he takes care of them🤣😂🤣

Also, can this fic be like a comedy thing

🤣🤣 say less, I got you. Also, I decided to make this in more of a oneshot style! I hope that is alright. Sorry, I got a bit lazy towards the end. Maybe this will get another part, lol, but it's a comedy I don't think I've ever seen a well thought comedy 🤣🤣 anyways I hope you enjoy 🖤

Reader and Teen!Leola sync up.Aaravos is done.

I 100% believe this is his default look before he says some sass ass shit to yall in this.

Also, I have a confession. I miss his old model he looked so much more intimidating. Anyways

Aaravos x Fem! Mom Reader. Hc

{Comady} warnings:there's like an innuendo at the end and cussing. Besides that, you're good

Check out the other parts to this string of HC

Masterlist

Aaravos introducing you to his daughter

Aaravos getting ready to propose to you with the help of leola

Teenage!Leolas first partner is human how do you and Aaravos react

@delusional-mushroom @josmarney23 @imsimping4life

The sun had just peaked when you woke up feeling a lot more irritable than normal. Which was a sign to you that the next week was going to be a nightmare, as you and your teenage daughter had synced.

You reluctantly look over towards the window and roll your eyes at the light poking through.

Yes, we have curtains up, but you swear they can never close all of the way, and it pisses you off to no extent.

But since there is nothing you can do about it. You just groan in frustration, covering your face with your hands before turning to look at your husband, who lays peacefully next to you in bed

You are always jealous of him. because he sleeps and wakes up so pretty, and you always say you wake up looking like you fought 3 wars, then had a night out in a tavern. But besides that, you're jealous that he doesn't have to feel like the gods are mid-fistfight with your uterus.

That prick

Just as you're about to get up, you hear your daughter in the kitchen. A few seconds pass, and you hear the sound of one of your plates hitting the ground.

as the sound of the shattering glass hits your ears, Aaravos shoots up, and you fall back into the mattress as fast as you can.

Cause they got you all the way fucked up if they think you're dealing with that in this condition

Sorry Leola yo daddy's coming for you.

It's probably for the best today. Those were cute plates, and you're a little pissed that one is now broken

In the kitchen, Aaravos walks in to see one of your NICE ass crystal plates shattered and an irritated leola floating above the mess

And this shit is broke broke. There are no hella big pieces to pick up; it's all small shards, and they are everywhere. So Aaravos pushes leola to the side and uses a quick spell on the broom so it will sweep up on its own as he tries talking to his daughter.

"How did this even happen?"

"I don't even know. I opened the cabinet, and it fell onto the floor when I tried to grab the one under it." She starts saying in a quickened, frustrated tone

"Well, why would you try to grab the one under it in the first place," Aaravos says, rolling his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose for a moment. For him, it's too early for this bullshit.

"Because the one on top might have dust on it? Everybody knows that, dad!" Leola says, getting more annoyed.

"Girl, lower your damn tone with me. I'm not the one who broke your mother's plate." He says, narrowing his eyes at her. She just groans, getting more frustrated.

"Well, it wasn't my fault! It was just an accident!" She shoots back at him.

"Who's accident was it if it wasn't your fault? Because I would really like to talk to the person who I'm cleaning up broken crystal after right now. At 7 o'clock in the morning." Aaravos says in amusement with a raised eyebrow.

Leola just rolls her eyes and floats out of the kitchen with a " well you missed a spot" as Aaravos stands there chuckling to himself.

He does not feel bad about talking back to yall during hell week.

He loves both Leola and you to death, and he will help all and try and accommodate you both to the best of his abilities, but he will sass back and get some attitude if Leola and you do

The king of matching energies lowkey

He thinks of it like this. If I'm doing this shit for yall on my own, voluntarily I'm not taking any shit.

He isn't just part of the sassy man apocalypse he started the damn movement.

Anyways

As he stands across the kitchen, watching his little magic broom clean up, you walk in

As you walk into the kitchen and see his little magic broom floating around your side eye tf outta him

And he side eyes you back

"Good morning, my love." He says suspiciously, knowing you're about to say some shit

" Why is there a floating broom cleaning. Do We have to rely on magic for everything?" You say approaching him.

"If you don't want me doing it with magic, you can be my guest to do it manually. Because I don't think Leola is going to." He says with a smirk

You're gagged, honestly. Are you supposed to come up with something witty this early in the morning, like you already feel like you're getting stabbed? You don't have time for that

You just avert your gaze and go to the other side of the room to get some food.

" If you want, I would be happy to make something." Aaravos offers

"Oh, I keep forgetting you can cook. Yes, that would be lovely"

That smug face he was making drops before you could snap your fingers.

"Excuse me?"

A little while later, he is sitting there flipping some pancakes, and you and Leola appear over his shoulder

"You flipped that one a little early it's a kinda light. I like em dark golden, not light golden," Leola starts.

"Then eat one of the other ones. There's 10 on the plate right there." He says back quickly

" You poured that one on their weird pancakes are supposed to be circular," you say, pointing out a wonky-looking one

" Oh really. I didn't know that." He replies sarcastically

" How the hell didn't you know that? You gettin' old or something -" Leola starts. She was never good at understanding sarcasm

You quickly cover her mouth with your hand. " Watch your damn mouth, girl. Don't be talking to your father like that."

"Thank you-"

"but she is right what the fuck kinda shape is that I've never seen anything like it?"

You both are kicked out of the kitchen until it's time to eat

After the morning passes and all eat, it gets better, and even apologize for SOME of the things you said

The afternoon is pretty chill. You all kinda do your own thing, Aaravos researches in his study while you read a book next to him, and Leola goes out with some friends.

Everything is pretty nice

Until night comes

He doesn't even tell you guys he's cooking dinner. He doesn't wanna hear it.

He didn't account for your scary ass sense of smell.

You and Leola enter that room looking like the twins from the shining

Yall just appear behind him hand like

🙂🙂

He sees now that Leola got her scary-ass look from you.

All stared into his soul, and he wasn't even facing you both

"What are you making?"

"Stew."

"Why does it look like your stiring diarrhea-"

"Get out."

You all get the doors magically locked on you 😭

But when yall are let it, that shit tasted good as hell.

Like damn food, it's so good that you lowkey contemplate if you should give him head later.

Jk yall, don't do that when your daughter is in the house. Only when she leaves.

After dinner, Leola just thanks her dad and goes to bed

Not long after, you and Aaravos have the same idea.

Time to repeat for the next 6 days 😊

Don't worry, on day 8, you'll kick Leola out of the house for a few hours.

[cup1d-ends-here]

We’ll Be Alright| Erwin Smith x Pregnant! Reader

Genre: Fluff, smut if you squint, angst

Word count:

You had been there on the field. You had been then when Erwin’s innate instinct for leadership continued even when his arm was ripped off by a titan. When he was dragged away in the jaws of beast, his command never faulted. Now here you were, sitting beside his bed as he recovered. He wrapped his hand around the warm cup of tea you had made for him and let out a large sigh. You peered up from your book and smile softly at him. You placed it down and reached to rub the stubble growing on his usually clean-shaven face. 

“The stubble suits you,” You giggled and shifted onto the side of his bed. He chuckled and leaned into your hand.

“You know (y/n), I’ve never felt a comfort like you. We will marry.” You felt flush and moved your hand away. 

“If one of us doesn’t become a titan’s snack before hand.” Although humorous, it was a disguised exhibit of your anxieties. You weren’t ready for the pair of you to die. The pair of you meaning the small life that recently formed inside you.

He was as oblivious as anyone could be about it. Meaning, you had not told him. But after recent events, you feel as though your announcement might have to come sooner than anticipated. You knew if you told him, he would have you pulled from your duties immediately, and you couldn’t settle for doing nothing whilst your comrades risk their lives for humanity. You recall the night it happened; the raw passion and undoing of the Commander.

╞═════𖠁𐂃𖠁═════╡

“That is all for tonight Levi, go rest.” Levi closed the door behind him and Erwin sighed, slouching deep into his chair. His kept hair and a few strands falling onto his forehead. He was exhausted. You peered around the bedroom door and called his name. he turned his face to you and you glided over to him. You stood behind his chair, hands slowly digging deep in to his shoulders to relieve some tension. He let out a groaned and you smiled. You loved seeing him like this. Off-duty, uniform loose and messy. Your nose ghosted his neck and he sighed. You placed open mouth kisses from his jawline to his collar. “(n/n)...” He sighed.

“Let’s continue this somewhere more comfy,” you suggested, guiding his frame to your shared bedroom. He gently pushed your frame onto the bed. He climbed on top of you and you fiddled with his belt whilst your lips were locked in a passionate kiss. The product of your love that night embodied itself in your uterus few weeks later.

╞═════𖠁𐂃𖠁═════╡

Erwin brought his tea to his lips, and you hastily confessed your secret. His eyes widened, the brim of his cup resting on his bottom lip. He slowly lowered the cup, his hair hung in front of his eyes, you couldn’t decipher his reaction. A few tense seconds past, before he looked at you, eyes brimming with tears and a smile on his plump lips. He disregarded the ceramic-ware in his hand, throwing and the hot liquid onto the wooden floor. It shattered, as he wrapped his arm around you tight, and what was left of his other. He began to sob. He held your head into his chest, his broad shoulder heaving with each breath he took. He embraced you as if it was the last time he would ever get to, and you did the same. “A child, my child, our child.” He whispered, cupping your face with his hand. Tears began to well in your eyes. You nodded vigorously.

“If I, we, ever lose you, I’ll always have some part of you with me,” you choked. 

“Don’t say that, it won’t come to that.” He didn’t want to think of it like that. His child wasn’t some memorabilia for Erwin’s life, they were the evidence of an inseparable bond between two lovers. But as much as he wants to reject that scenario, he knows very well of the possibility that his child will grow up with a headstone for a father. 

[cyberrose2001]

my time has come. *rubs hands together*

i rlly hope this is allowed but... okok so op comes back from a mission/patrol or whatever, a little bit injured. like he needs to stay in the medical bay for a bit. fem!reader is very obviously worried abt their beloved op and refuses to leave his side, even after ratchet confirms that op is just fine. right right so then it's late at night and after ratchet is used to reader sleeping beside op, he wishes them goodnight and leaves the medbay for the night. op and reader are cuddling and op decides to reassure his conjunx that he's okay with some tender loving care, in the form of sexual activities aka fuckin on his very own bed.

TFP Optimus x fem!Reader

I feel like I could’ve written this better, but I’m sore and in pain from my monthly’s (my uterus is killing me slowly), but regardless, I hope you enjoy! <3

Warnings: AFAB reader, fem reader, human reader, mentions of pain/death, reader tops OP in the med bay, general smut.

Word count: 1563

18+ ONLY MINORS DNI

“You scare me too much. You know that, right?”

It was starting to become more and more common. Optimus would be out in the field doing what he does best, kicking Decepticons aft first and taking names later. Well, honestly, it’s the other way around. Your mech always had a way with words, but occasionally, those words bite back.

Optimus is injured. Again. Though nothing too significant, as assessed by Ratchet, it’s still enough to send your heart into a frenzy of anxiety and dread. Your mind always anticipates the next time he comes back through that ground bridge, it will be his last. Injuries too severe for him to heal from.

But Optimus, the ever-persevering mech he is, is convinced that you have healing hands.

“I know,” He smiles, it’s reassuring, but you can see the small winces he tries to hide when you glide your hands across his dented chassis, “And I am genuinely sorry for it.”

“You always say that,” You exhale under your breath, resting your head under his chin, “One day, you’re never gonna come back to me, and sorry’s won’t make up for it.”

His vents hitch. Your words were harsh, like a blunt knife. And akin to being stabbed, Optimus is painfully aware of the risks every time he steps foot on the battlefield. He wonders what life he would leave you if he never returned, but the mere thought of that pains him more than a sharp edge.

“I know,” Optimus closes his eyes, and his smile falters, letting his servos trail delicate lines along your spine, “But I am fine. There is no need for you to bare my wounds; your solicitude is unnecessary.”

“Unnecessary? Optimus, I lay awake every night when you’re not in berth with me,” You scoff in disbelief, “Do you have any idea how many times I’ve cried myself to sleep because I’m so scared you’re never gonna… god damn it, I don’t wanna lose you. I can’t.”

Optimus watches as tears roll down your cheeks. He moves a servo from your back to gently wipe them away, “You’ll never lose me. That is a promise I will always keep.”

You bite back a sob and lean your head into his servo, “You better, but still, you’re hurt.”

“Only temporarily, if not at all,” He hums, the servo stroking your back creeping down to loosely cup your ass, “But if you still need reassurance, I am happy to demonstrate my optimal health.”

You feel a digit push behind the hem of your pants, and you know precisely what your mech is asking for.

“Optimus, there’s no way,” You wipe the rest of your tears away before pushing yourself up to straddle his pelvis, “If you hadn’t noticed, we’re in the med bay, and you’re in no shape to have sex.”

“You underestimate me,” Optimus purrs, and fuck; he’s squeezing your ass so nicely, “What better way to reassure my love that I am fine than by fragging them?”

You bite your lip and weigh your options. You both might get caught by Ratchet and risk not looking him in the optics again or have amazing earth-shattering sex with Optimus, but risk hurting him. You glance at his face again, and you shouldn’t have because optics have dimmed with pure arousal.

You gulp, “Are you sure?”

Optimus tugs down your pants, now hanging loosely at your ankles. He leans up and kisses your shoulder, “Undoubtedly.”

He’s pulling your underwear down now, and it seems that your body has decided for you because you’re utterly drenched. Fuck it.

“Forgive me, Ratchet.” You lean forward and collide your lips with your lover. Optimus returns the kiss with equal enthusiasm, grunting as you push your tongue into his mouth to tangle with his own.

During the breathless kiss, Optimus pushes his servo between your body, pressed against his own. He runs a digit along your wet slit, and you can feel his shutter against your mouth. He pushes a digit inside, and you let a desperate moan slip.

“So wet for me already,” He breaks the kiss and pumps his digit slowly, “Remove the remainder of your garments, please.”

You oblige, sitting upright again, and, in turn, pushes the digit further inside you. You struggle to rip your shirt and bra off as you feel him curling against your g-spot, throwing them somewhere off to the side.

“Please, Optimus.” You shiver and lean your arm back to paw at his interfacing panel, which feels ready to burst, “Let’s be -fuck- quick.”

He withdraws his servo from underneath you, and it glistens under the surgical lamps with your fluids and leaves you longing for something to fill you. With the same servo, he fumbles with his interfacing panel and unlatches it, spike pressurising against your back.

You ready yourself over his weeping spike, a hand splayed on his abdomen and one wrapped around his spike. Biting your lip, you press his tip inside and push your hips down as far as possible. You moan at the fullness, lip quivering once you’ve fully sheathed yourself around him.

Optimus grunts at your fluttering walls and moves to grip your hips, massaging your flesh to keep himself under control. His optics flicker to your eyes, “Remember, be silent if you wish not to alert the others.”

You nod and slowly lift your hips, slamming them back down, and choke. Optimus rarely lets you ride his spike, preferring to top and fuck you himself. But god, every time you do feels better than the last. The feeling of every little bump and groove along his thickness is pleasurable beyond imaginable, and you’re finding it harder to keep quiet.

Optimus’ grip on your hips tightens, and before long, he’s guiding you to slam down on himself more forcefully. The only sounds filling the med bay are the lewd echoes of flesh against metal and your combined hushed whimpers.

Your lover groans, optics trained on your soft body bouncing on his throbbing spike. He loves the way your breasts and stomach jiggle every time your hips meet his own. And fuck, he can feel his impending overload.

Optimus reaches his arms around your back and forces you to lie plush against him, and before you can protest, he covers your mouth with a servo.

“Shhh, you wish for me to be quick, hmm?” Optimus growls lowly, readjusting his hips underneath you.

You nod and moan against his palm, wiggling your hips for more friction. He satisfactorily hums.

“Well, you must be quiet,” Optimus rolls his hips upwards slowly, “If not, and we are discovered, I will not hesitate to use a gag next time. Are we clear?”

Well, now you know for sure that Optimus is fine; his dominant side is showing off. It always creeps out of him when he is nearing overload, which means lying down and taking it. And you fucking love it.

Optimus removes his servo covering your mouth and returns it to wrap around your back. His hips start slow before transitioning into a break-neck pace, and the force causes your head to rest on his chassis.

“Oh fuck,” You whine softly. Your eyes squeeze shut, and you bring your hand to your mouth to bite the flesh of your palm, a pathetic attempt to silence yourself. His spike hits deeper than before, hips craned at the perfect angle to rub against your g-spot.

Optimus’ restrained moans emanating from his chassis vibrate your skull, “So warm and tight, I’m sure you’re enjoying this, needing to keep quiet, hmm?”

“Yesss,” You whisper, only loud enough so he can hear you above the wet sounds of his thick spike entering you, “I wanna cum… please.”

Optimus groans and kisses the top of your head, thrusts his hips into you harder, “Frag, you’re so good for me. Overload then.”

That’s all it took before a white-hot flash of pleasure explodes in your lower stomach, tight walls clench around him like a vice as your orgasm shakes your body. Your teeth clamped on your palm loosen, and your jaw drops in a silent scream, taking all your strength to suppress your vocal cords as Optimus pushes himself to the hilt, hot trans fluid shooting up into your sore pussy.

You move your head to look up at him, and by the Primes, does he look gorgeous. His jaw is clenched, and his optics are screwed shut in utter euphoria. And the most admirable thing is that he didn’t even make a sound. You make a mental note to applaud him for it later.

You feel his arms loosen against your back as he spurts the last of his trans fluids inside you, dripping out onto the gurney below, a concoction of your combined fluids that will most likely need multiple rags to clean up.

Optimus unclenches his jaw, and an ungodly amount of smoke shoots out of his exhausts. He looks down at you and gives you a soft smile, venting raggedly.

“Was that enough proof that I am fine?” He whispers, cupping your face to give you a breathless yet passionate kiss.

You hun into the kiss before releasing from it, “I suppose so,” You turn your head to observe the sheer amount of fluids coating Optimus’ hips and the gurney, “But let’s clean up before Ratchet kills us.”

[is-the-owl-video-cute]

I never thought I'd see toxo/pregnancy mentioned alongside pro-life. Like I understand the brain pathway, don't get me wrong, it just caught me so off guard... As someone who miscarried due to toxoplasmosis, a miscarriage which was riddled with complications that lead to the loss of my uterus on top of it all like some vile prank it's just UGH.

It's been more than six years now. I just wish I could look the "owner" in the eye and tell them how their simple negligence had absolutely shattered my very being. And I wish that I didn't boil and break at any reminders. I haven't learned where to put this anger, yet.

Alongside the anger there's the fear I hold for the sake of others. This shit could happen to anyone but! No one wants to talk about how detrimental their "fur baby" can be to both humans and wildlife. As if it's a personal attack. As if they hold no responsibility as an owner. As if educating yourself on your own pet isn't necessary. As if you're 2 kool 4 skool and caring about the well-being of others is a weakness.

Anyways...

Pro-lifers aren't a crowd that cares about the well-being of others and by lacking this basic capacity, I seriously doubt something pet-related could ever warrant a second glance. Controlling people is the priority, not pets.

(I apologize for how winded this may come across, I have certain tags blacklisted and yeah, a previous post was a shock. I hope this topic will be taken more seriously in the future, and it's certainly not going to happen with pro-liffers)

people laugh it off when I speak about toxo, it’s very poorly researched and we don’t even know if miscarriages are the only major complication. It firms cysts in the brain that completely change the behavior of prey animals, and we have no idea what the implications there are for humans.

Even if miscarriages are the only complication (I doubt this), that isn’t really an “only” because that has horrible effects on real human beings.

[uh-velkommen]

A lot of people are rightfully angry with the results of this election but I'm simply feeling defeated. I watched as the world (and by "world" I mean the political climate of the USA) descend into madness. I fought so many people, cried for change, and spread as much knowledge and information as I could. And what I learned from that is that people don't change. Everyone's brain works differently and some people just don't conform to reason. So I gave up.

I stopped talking about politics, I cut out anyone who isn't clear about where they stand, and I also stopped befriending the ultra religious people I grew up beside. These people who preach love and kindness but then turn to their bibles for validation of their hatred have no idea the internal struggles I've dealt with nor do they realize that simply their proximity to religion makes me weary. That I can't look at them the same way without fearing that at the drop of a dime, they will turn around and despise me because of my secrets. The fact that I have to live with secrets, afraid of life, simply because of THEIR choice to believe in a misinterpreted diety.

I'm a person of color, mentally ill, nuerodivergent, a uterus haver, and an LGBT person, I am every at risk minority as well as a young professional who comes from poverty, trying to build their own life from scratch. I am an important demographic for the business and financial part of our country. I want to live. I want to be able to afford to live. I want to feel safe. I want to be happy.

I'm not mad at Donald Trump. I'm not disappointed in our country. I'm not baffled by the stupidity of most people. The only thing this election has proven to me is that we live in a hateful world. It's shown me just how many people don't care about others. And I've come to the conclusion that when the number of people who hate entirely outweighs the number of people who love, nothing will ever change. That this is the life I have been and will be forced to live. There is no light at the end of the tunnel. There's no point in protesting, no point in preaching, no point in believing.

When I was younger I used to excitedly tell people that I was an activist. I thought it was a good thing to care so deeply for the people who were never seen and I wore it like a badge of honor. But I'd always be met with laughter or disregard and I questioned why no one else believed in doing the right thing. No one else believed in standing up to bullying. Now I'm silent. I no longer speak up. I no longer strive to break the mold. The mold has in fact broken me. Overnight I've felt the absolute last of my hopes and dream shatter.

[viperwhispered]

Jamemi moments: caretaking edition

This ended up dealing with kinda bloody matters (periods and nosebleeds), oop.

Also I swear I was thinking of these things even before Dio's recent Lou post.

The things Jamil has to deal with, no matter the universe.

You can find more information on my yuusona Emi and her relationship with Jamil here on the masterlist.

Being the good, considerate boyfriend (and a chronic ball of overthinking & worrying) he is, at some point Jamil starts carrying pads with him.

But Emi just never seems to need them, or even mentions having her period in general. That's weird, is she just super shy and discreet about it, or...?

Eventually, the topic comes up, and Emi's just all: yeah when I had my first period here and had to go to the nurse, I jumped so fast on the opportunity when she told me there's a potion to just be rid of my periods for a while. Alchemy truly is a wonderful miracle.

Honestly, sometimes she kinda wishes she could just hand out her uterus to someone who actually wants one. The first period was nice for feeling all mature and grown - up until to the point when the cramps started. Now it's just an annoying hassle. No need to celebrate her womanhood with a monthly bleeding if she can help it, thank you very much.

Sometime after book 6 Emi ends up catching a cold. Not a wonder, really, considering the stress she's been under - and while chilliness in itself may not cause one to fall in, the condition of Ramshackle certainly doesn't help.

So Emi's there all grumpy and tired, going through tissues at a steady pace while curling up by the fire at Ramshackle. Jamil's in the kitchen, preparing some warm soup for her.

But when Jamil returns with the bowl of food, he finds Emi laying on the couch, a pile of bloody tissues next to her.

"What happened? Are you alright?"

Before Emi knows it, Jamil's set the bowl on the table with a forceful thud, hovering over her side with definite concern.

"Oh, just a nosebleed. Happens with the constant blowing of my nose and stuff, don't worry about it," Emi says, annoyed but mostly just resigned to her fate.

Yeah, right, Jamil's definitely gonna listen to that.

So Jamil sees to instructing Emi on the proper method of dealing with a nosebleed - clearing her nose and pressing the nostril closed until the bleeding stops. And most importantly: sitting up and leaning forward so she's not swallowing all the blood like she's definitely been doing so far.

"Sorry. I'll clean up the tissues in a moment, just-" Emi says, all apologetic, watching Jamil fuss over her, her feeling like such a bother.

"I've dealt with worse. Just let me take care of you," Jamil says in his usual stern manner, a hand still lingering on her back.

And before Emi knows it, she just bursts into tears - which makes things all the more tricky and messy, with the nosebleed, and her already stuffed nose, and still trying to somehow breathe through it all and dab all the mix of fluids away from her face.

Sure, she's been finding herself getting emotional before when Jamil's been insisting on doing things for her or just checking on her - or with anyone else genuinely asking how she's been doing. But now, tired and sick and everything, she just cannot hold it back at all, as embarrassing as it is.

Girl really has been hanging on by a thread trying to shoulder everything mostly by herself ever since ending up in Twisted Wonderland, ready to shatter with the slightest bits of genuine care.

Cue an embarrassed, messy Emi, trying to squeeze apologies out through the sobs - and Jamil, totally out of his depth, trying to figure out what he just did wrong and what he can do to fix this.

After all that awkwardness, Emi soon finds herself with some topical treatments to keep her airways clear and moisturised - and also with a nice, easy to clean water bottle, because “the hydration starts from the inside, the treatments can only do so much if you're not drinking enough”, according to Jamil.

And to wrap this up from the other side of the equation:

“My beloved.”

Jamil recognized that chiding tone, braced himself for receiving Emi’s displeasure.

“Why are you still working?”

Good question.

Well, of course Jamil knew why. Whether he had an explanation that would sway Emi, that was another question altogether.

"I wanted to get these ready for tomorrow."

That only got Emi to purse her lips further.

"Yeah, well, I can sort those out. You, meanwhile, need to rest." She wrapped her hands around his wrists, physically pulling Jamil away.

"Emi," he protested.

How was it that someone as soft as his habibti could be this forceful with him? So unflinching under his stare?

But perhaps he indeed was tired enough not to offer her the full sharpness of him.

It wasn't often that Emi would actually manhandle Jamil away from his work, but when she did...

Perhaps it was the confusing mix of indignation, surprise and something murkily sweet and warm that made him yield in the end, offering only a token of protest as she practically dragged him with her.

Basically, if Indulgence is a jamemi vibe, then so is Rest.

Taglist: @scint1llat3 @diodellet @moonyasnow @bibi-cha

If anyone else would like to be tagged for Emi / jamemi things, just let me know!

[scummy-writes]

A short tidbit about my ikevil Oc.

This contains descriptions of menstruation along with hopes of having a child.

Thump.

Again.

Thump.

Again.

Thump.

Her hand hits rhythmically against the wall, fist entangled in the hair at the scruff of her neck. Pinching, digging nails in deep, as her eyes bore into the cloth between her legs. Stained with thickened blood. More of it drying on sheets of toilet paper, dripping further into the bowl.

She shouldn’t have expected otherwise. She knows this routine; every few months she goes without bleeding. Every few months, the irrational hope builds within her, day after day, until she believes that maybe, she’s succeeded this time. A twist in her stomach, a panic trying to etch within the walls of her chest, clawing against the few strands of sanity she believes she has left.

Then, after the pseudo symptoms startup - her body's way of reinforcing the deranged hope laden inside her - it comes crashing down sometime around the third month. In bits of uterine lining and the starkness of blood against her pale underwear.

Again. And again. Her own special cycle of blood and tears.

She’s unsure of how long she’s sat here staring, thumping the side of her fist against the wall, thinking. Wishing. Her thoughts twisting into self mockery. Into pitiful soothing attempts. Moving her body feels like a herculean effort, one she has to avoid registering in her mind, running on old routines. Wiping up what mess she can. Stuffing toilet paper between her labia and underwear. Scrubbing her hands clean, until they burn under the water, scalding, turning red.

Looking into the mirror is pointless. She feels the way her eyes burn from staring, that she’s pale and reflecting the emptiness of her womb - a blank slate, under strain and ready to fracture.

With a deep breath, she opens the bathroom door and steps out into one of the many hallways in Crown. Vases are intermittent with the windows, a cacophony of various stages of bloom between them, interspersed with paintings of random subjects. Her nails dig into her palm, flexing, shaking off the urge to grab the nearest vase and see how loud the shatter is in the still hall.

The idea leaves her in a short trance, feeling herself take a step, no two, closer to them, before a sharp pain in her abdomen causes her to suck in a breath with a wince. It's what finally causes a sting in her eyes, the reminder of another short lived dream crashing down upon her.

It's conflicting in ways that tangle within her thoughts - she never wanted a child when she was one herself, yet as she grew into her curse, the want demand left her spiraling. Shedding hysterical tears at the drop of a hat, flying into a rage when nothing seemed to ensure pregancy.

A familiar chuckle draws her attention, lungs stilling as she hears the tap of mens shoes. It what finally kicks her feet into gear, ushering herself further away, a creep of shame crawling up her back as her body burns despite the pain. Longing for companionship while her scattered thoughts plead against it.

Shame, stemming from her mother. From her mind speaking against her heart. From the way her hands shake, feeling as though they belong to another person entirely. The only thing that manages to soothe it for now in the escape into her room, the click of a lighter, and a whisp of smoke filling her lungs.

I'll have to put more of an explanation of my oc one day. Quite literally had to have the server help me come up with her name an hour ago.

Her name is Mary. She has the rumpelstiltskin curse, which allows her to turn things into gold with the touch of her fingers. She does have an ample amount of control on this, thankfully, but the crux of it is that she's left craving having children of her own, while the curse eats away her uterus' ability to actually have children.

I honestly want it to be that the longer she has her curse, the more it turns her ovaries into gold, but thinking about the mechanics of that gives me a headache.

She's going to be different from my other ocs, as I am gonna base some issues I have with PCOS and PMDD with some things she goes through. Honestly, exaggerated for her, but... yep.

I'm unsure of who she'd be paired with. I don't know of j*de that well, but he doesnt seem much like the type for casual sex? i was gonna rib that they'd be ewb (enemies with benefits), but I don't really know if any of the guys would fit with her...???? congrats, mary, you're the first OC where i had no guy in mind when making you.

[piosplayhouse]

I’m sorry in advance for sending a cursed ask, but this has been rotating in my mind since you made the post but I can’t keep it in anymore.

You know the thing about ass-birth omegas and the terf that showed up?? I have to confess that I am non-binary and I *also* didn’t think of having a womb attached to the intestines. All this time, every time there was only one hole, I thought the logical conclusion would be the baby covered in shit and growing in the intestines. When I thought of ass-birth, I imagined it like if you were just REALLY constipated, and needed to push out a big poop.

I’m having a crisis now. Is the womb theory something everyone just naturally assumed? Did I miss a memo? Is this a thing that everyone else has been aware of all this time, and I just never caught on??? Have *I* been the weirdo all this time?

I’ve been so mean and judgey toward people who didn’t write vaginas in their mpreg, oh god. (Not to their face, but. behind their back.) I’m so sorry. They actually did know what they were writing. There is ACTUAL SCIENCE supporting ass-babies. This has been an earth-shattering revelation.

Thank you for your work on the poll btw. You have brought so much knowledge to me that I wouldn’t have been privy to otherwise. I’m sending this anon partly as a way to get rid of my shame, but also to thank you for altering the course of my life in such a way. It has taught me to never underestimate biology.

Ok so I'm just gonna put all of this under a readmore for obvious reasons

You know what anon I respect you 😭 I guess it's somewhat of a medium thing, I remember reading a fair amount of omegaverse manga that actually had pages at the beginning of the story devoted to explaining the basic anatomy of the dynamics. I can't find any actual scans of those but googling "omegaverse anatomy" gives you diagrams like this (and also like ?? Extremely professional looking diagrams that I kind of wonder if they were drawn by actual medical illustrators??? But I will allow you to find those on your own)

It looks like there's somewhat of a divide between whether or not there's a separate vagina in there connected to the rectum or whether its just a cervix there separating a rectum from the womb but yeah I have to say I think the womb thing is pretty much agreed upon 😭😭 I can only really speak on the breeding side of fic things but the majority I've seen at least do definitely specify the existence of a uterus/cervix (mostly for horny reasons but yk). Very much separate from the intestines though...

Also I have to be the bearer of bad news here I guess for real life anatomy again but apparently giving birth with a vagina is also just like being really constipated. It's actually super common and normal for people to have bowel movements while giving birth (this actually is a big element of the v-birth vs c-section infant microflora development debate). Things are a lot more squished down there than people realize I think, especially when there's a whole baby there too

[umbreoncomplex]

> be me

> period in a week or 2

> to clarify im straight up not on my period at all trust me ive quadruple checked

> experiencing the most horrid nut kicking soul shattering uterus ripping cramps ever

> actually fucking bawling my eyes out about it

> overhear offhand comment about endometriosis running in our family

[patchwork-crow-writes]

So, my mother-in-law has this cat. Her name is Jessica, she's 11 and a half, and is the most skittish and frightened little ball of fluff you've ever seen. She looks a lot younger than her age because of a deformity in her uterus which has caused her growth to be stunted, so she very much looks and acts like a kitten even though she's basically an old lady now. Over her life, I've been privileged to be the only human she will approach for pets and laptime cuddles. She is very special to me and I love her dearly.

Today I found out she has cancer and might only have months to live.

...this is one of those times where I really wished I had a camera so I should show you all her, but alas. I will try to source some pictures and append them to this post so y'all can see her.

Needless to say, this may affect writing projects and the like, so those people waiting for the next chapter of Through Shattered Glass, I'm sorry if you have to wait another week or two on top of the year and a half it's taken me to write it... :P But thanks for understanding, it's appreciated :)

[please-someone-give-me-love]

There's a discourse going on about Imane Khelif and I want to say that this situation has literally exposed the ignorance, racism, mysoginia and transphobia that people had around sex and identities.

People only consider that a woman is a "real woman" when they match their standars, they need to look feminine and not being too strong because "how is possible to a woman to be so strong?" The sexism and mysoginia is so repulsive, coming from other women that said to be "feminists" but at the time they see a WOC they back up and started screaming that they are getting erased.

Not only they are screaming about getting erased but I think what really pissed them off is the way that their constructions on what defines a woman to be consider a woman has been shattered by this.

Because they have been proclaming for years that if you don't have a vagina, then you are not a woman and if you have then you are and that if your cromosomes are XX then you are a woman, so for them XY will always be a man but guess what?

Imane was born with female genitals, she has menstruation, she has an uterus, she could give birth but also her cromosomes are not XX so obviously these people are twikling about "how is possible to her be a woman if she has XY cromosomes but also, how is possible to her to give birth?"

And that's the problem, we have limitate our sex to things like cromosomes or genitals, we had avoid the possibility of a woman or a man not having XX or XY as their cromosomes or having their "biological" genitals.

I have learned this in my sexuality class and it really opened my perspective.

There are syndromes that provoque having an extra cromosome or a less cromosome, so if a men doesn't have a cromosome then suddenly he is a woman? Or if a woman has a different crromosome then she is a man? What if a women has an extra X? Is she a women²?

How does that even work?

They took values from people based on their genetics for what? What are they then? Because the same people don't like when you said about being non binary or gender fluid.

So what are they?

In eyes of these transphobic, mysogistic, ignorant and racist people, they are nothing.

They are less because they are not the figurres they want them to be.

They can't imagine a woman without a vagina because "how is possible to her not having genitals?", they can't imagine a WOC because their racism and mysoginia has put them into white women standars to define how a women should look and act.

It's disgusting.

[cartoonfanaticmonsterrobotalien]

Solar Opposites: The Misadventures of The Solars Episode #3: Foxfight

The episode starts with the Shlorpians arriving in the Solars’ house.

Shlorpian Randall: Korvo? Terry?! What’s the exciting news you wanted to tell?

Korvo, Terry, Shlorpian Phoebe, Janiz and the kids come in with Korvo holding Lili.

Korvo: Everyone, meet our new baby daughter, Lili.

Shlorpian Janice: H'no, she's so cute, y'know!

Lili: *babbles*

Shlorpian Frankie: Woah. How did that happen?

Korvo: Well to be honest, it is complicated but here she is. Our little Shlorpian bundle of joy.

Shlorpians: Aw. She’s precious. So fucking cute. D’aw, she looks just like her father. Ain’t she a real cutie? So adorable. Hey little sweetie! Coochie choochie coo! Hi baby.

Terry laughs

Terry: Yep. She is such a sweet cutie. *tickles Lili on the belly that made her giggle*

Shlorpian Cooke starts sobbing hysterically

Shlorpian Frankie: *smiles in amusement and laughs* Honey, get it together.

Lili: *cooing*

Korvo: *laughs* They like you, Lili.

Lili: *babbles*

The Pupa then smiles at his baby sister and falls in love with her.

Pupa: Sissy!

Lili: *giggles and touches Pupa’s face as he smiles*

Shlorpian Randall: Who gave birth?

Korvo: I did.

The Shlorpians look at Korvo with shocked silence

Shlorpian Cooke: Yeah. It’s true. He told me about it and that there hasn’t been any records about this.

Korvo sighs and sheds a few tears

Korvo: *tearfully* It’s true I didn’t know either. Usually a sproutling is born thanks to a finger clipping. But this time, Lili’s birth is different because it came from my uterus.

Shlorpian Ms. Perez: TMI, buddy.

Shlorpian Louise: I guess that’s a new reaction on being on Earth too long or something.

Korvo: I don't know yet but-

Suddenly, a glass bottle was thrown into the window as glass shatter and the family screamed as they ducked for safety.

Jesse: What was that?!

Shlorpian Phoebe: *recognizing the whooping* Oh God! No!

Shlorpian Phoebe steps outside and gasp upon seeing her relatives living near the hillbilly swamp trailer park while whooping. The Solars, who turn into their human forms along with Lili, and their Shlorpian friends peak outside and gasp upon seeing Phoebe’s now Shlorpian relatives.

Human Korvo: Phoebe! Are those your relatives?!

Shlorpian Phoebe sighs and facepalms.

Shlorpian Phoebe: Yes. Yes they are.

A few minutes later, an annoyed Shlorpian Phoebe, the human Solars and the Shlorpians head over to Phoebe’s relatives.

Shlorpian Phoebe: Hello Uncle Randy.

Shlorpian Uncle Randy: Well, howdy do! Phoebe’s back y’all!

Shlorpian Phoebe groans

Shlorpian MacCarthy Relatives: Yee-haw! Ya-hoo! Get along y’all! Whoo! *laughs and hollers like a western person in joy*

Human Terry: Wow.

Shlorpian Uncle Randy: Of course you remember Randy Jr., Cousin Joe and John, Cletus, Big Bubba, Jenny and the rest.

Shlorpian Phoebe: Unfortunately, yes.

Shlorpian Randy Jr.: Howdy cous and *sees the Human Solars and the Shlorpians* Hey! Look, humans just like we once were and aliens like us!

Human Yumyulack: Don't. Come. Near. Me.

Human Korvo: *laughs nervously; whispers* Yumyulack, whatever you and your siblings and the rest of the gang do, do not do anything to upset them. Or worse.

Human Yumyulack: But he smells bad!

Human Jesse: *covers Human Yumyulack’s mouth and laughs nervously* He meant it in a good way. *laughs nervously and then the Shlorpian McCarthy laughs with her*

Shlorpian Jenny: Ain’t those children darling?

Shlorpian Uncle Randy: *laughs* Y'know, I like y'all! What are your names?

Human Jesse: None of your business!

Human Korvo: Huh? *whispers to Jesse* what’s wrong honey? Why don’t you want them to tell them our names?

Human Jesse: It's obvious Phoebe hates them!

Shlorpian Phoebe: *sighs* Look guys, can you please be more careful? Your bottle nearly hurt my family and their friends. Plus, they have a baby now. You guys have got to be careful.

Phoebe's relatives laugh

Shlorpian Big Bubba: Relax Phoebs. These guys must be hard as metal. Especially *pointing to human Lili* that little runt over there.

Human Lili whimpers

Human Korvo: Uh, excuse me? Are you talking about our baby?

Shlorpian Jenny: Yeah, we are! She's cute! Hopefully, she'll grow up to be just like me!

Human Korvo: Oh hell no she will not!

Human Lili: *cries*

Human Terry: Aw dude, now look what you guys did! You made our baby cry!

Shlorpian Bubba guffaws

Shlorpian Bubba: Relax, it’s just family fucked up genes. *to Replicant Sonya* How about some Moonshine, you robin’s egg blue little runt?

Replicant Sonya: PISS OFF!

Human Yumyulack and Human Jesse: *gasp and covers Replicant Sonya’s mouth* Uh heh heh! She was just kidding! Yeah kidding! *laughs nervously* Please don’t hurt us.

Human Korvo sighs in frustration

Human Korvo: Listen pal, I know you’re my nanny’s family but I don’t like the way you are talking to my kids and baby like that! Now apologize immediately!

Shlropian Uncle Randy: Alright, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that you must’ve *points to Human Terry* married a weak wimpy asshole over here.

Human Terry: WHAT?! *growls as his eyes turn orange*

Shlorpian MacCarthy Relatives: *laughs mockingly at Human Terry*

Shlropian Phoebe: *outraged* Guys! That’s my family!

Shlorpian Phoebe's relatives gasp

Shlorpian Randy Jr.: This family is the ones you look after as a nanny? *laughs with the rest of the relatives* Then you must be sorry for having that orange t-shirt loser and his family for making your life miserable.

Shlorpian Phoebe: *enraged* Randy Jr!

Human Korvo: That does it! *puts his hair into a ponytail*

Shlorpian Phoebe: Korv, what are you doing?

Human Korvo goes up the family in tranquil fury.

Human Korvo: That does it! You owe my family and our friends and apology right now!

Shlorpian Bubba: Or what?

Shlorpian Randy Jr.: *referring to Human Terry* You’re gonna let that weak-looking llimpy redheaded wimp over there fight us?

Human Terry: *growls* Shut...shut...

Shlorpian Janice: H’no is Terry okay, y’know?

Human Terry suddenly roars in fury as monstrous fangs suddenly appears in his mouth and his eyes glow orange as he attacks Randy Jr.

Shlorpians: Oh my God! Terry! Terry, what the fuck are you doing?! Have you lost your mind?! Stop it! You’re hurting him!

Human Terry: YOU SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!

Shlropian Randy Jr. :*screams* GET THIS FUCKING ANIMAL OFF OF ME!

Human Korvo pulls Human Terry off of Randy Jr. and goes to talk with him in private

Human Korvo: Oh my God. *to the Shlorpian MacCarthy relatives* I’m so sorry, let me talk to my hubby in private.

Human Korvo takes Human Terry inside the house

Human Korvo: Terry, what was that all about?

Human Terry: UGH! LEAVE ME ALONE, ALRIGHT?! HE DESERVED IT!

Human Korvo: *concern* Wh-what?

Human Terry storms upstairs as Human Korvo sighs and turns into his Shlorpian form

Korvo: Something is really wrong… *goes upstairs*

Korvo enters the bedroom and gasps to see that everything is a mess and Human Terry is curled up in the corner, mumbling some angry stuff

Korvo: T-Terry?

Human Terry: *growls*

Korvo: You okay, Terry?

Human Terry starts sobbing quietly

Korvo: Terry!

Korvo runs up to his husband and kisses him on the forehead as Terry turns back into a Shlorpian

Terry: *voice breaking* Go away… today was humiliating already…

Korvo: Oh honey...

Terry: *breaks down in tears*

“My Immortal” plays in the background as Korvo consoles Terry.

Korvo: Shhh… shhh… it’s gonna be alright my love.

Terry giggles because Korvo feels warm

Terry: You are very warm honey…

Korvo giggles

Korvo: Thanks. I’m so sorry Phoebe’s relatives made you feel humiliated.

Terry: It's okay. I'm sorry I went crazy...

Korvo: It’s okay Terry. I know you were trying to defend Phoebe, the kids and our friends.

Terry sighs and snuggles with his hubby

Terry: Korvy…. am I strong? And brave? And not weak?

Korvo nods

Korvo: Of course. Don’t listen to them, Terry. You are strong and brave on the inside. That’s what matters, not on the outside. *pulls Terry closer* It’s gonna be okay…. I promise…

Korvo's wings suddenly appear

Terry: *gasp and blushes* Oh my honey…. Your wings.

Korvo is confused but notices his bat wings and giggles. Janiz comes in while uploading something and then gasp upon seeing Korvo with his bat wings.

Janiz: K-Korvo? You have...

Korvo: Yes. I have control now.

Janiz smiles tearfully

Janiz: *hugs her brother* I am so proud of you…

Terry is confused

Terry: Wait. How are you proud of him? Unless…. *realizes something* You’re a Super Shlorpian too, aren’t you Janiz?

Janiz nods as her skin turns black. Then, Janiz’s eyes glow icy pink as she grows bigger and muscular and rips apart her clothes. Then, her wings, that are also colored icy pink appears on her back while her horns appear on her head. Janiz’s teeth becomes monstrous and she grows boobs. Now a Super Shlorpian, Janiz roars.

Terry: Wow...

Super Shlorpian Janiz: Thanks. It’s been running in our family for generations, ever Koran made that blessing when trying to protect his family from bandits and other threats to the village.

Terry: Koran?

Super Shlorpian Janiz: *shows him an ancient artwork* Our ancestor. The first one to become a Super Shlorpian. He became the Super Shlorpian during war time because he needed a way to protect his family and friends. So, he made that blessing. The bloodline has passed onto his Replicants at the age of 13, which is their coming of age, then it passed onto theirs as the years go by… soon will Yumyulack.

Terry gasps

Terry: No way… Yumyulack will soon become a Super Shlorpian?

Korvo sighs

Super Shlorpian Korvo: Yes. It’s about to be Yumyulack’s time soon since he is now already 13-years old. But, I’m afraid we can’t tell him when the time is right.

Terry hugs Korvo who flaps his wings

Terry: Don’t worry honey. We’ll wait to tell the others until it’s the right time.

Korvo smiles. Meanwhile with the others, they watch the Shlorpian MacCarthy relatives doing crazy stuff as they sigh in dismay, except for Shlorpian Randall who is intrigued.

Shlorpian Randall: Wow, those guys are cool!

Shlorpian Phoebe: I am so sorry about my family guys. Ugh, they had no right to treat you guys like shit. Especially you kids.

Human Jesse: Don't worry.

Human Yumyulack: *holding human Lili* It’s okay. Unlike them, you have a big heart, Phoebe. You’re the best nanny we ever had.

Shlorpian Phoebe smiles tearfully

Shlorpian Phoebe: D’aw come here kids. *sighs as she looks at her family* Hopefully, they’ll blow off some steam eventually. Come on guys, let’s go home. *the kids, Shlorpian Phoebe and the Shlorpians, except for Randall walks away* Hey Randall, you coming?

Shlorpian Randall: Huh? Uh yeah, be with you guys in an hour!

After the others left, Shlorpian Randall walks up the Shlorpian MacCarthy relatives and clears his throat.

Shlorpian Randall: Uh excuse me?

Shlorpian Cletus: Hey look guys! It’s one of the Shlorpians y’all. What ya want?

Shlorpian Randall: Hey uh *clears his throat* Ahem. You guys do amazing awesome extreme stuff for a bunch of rednecks. Can I please join you?

The Shlorpian MacCarthy relatives gasped. Then, they get into a group huddle secretly and laughs. They decided to play a prank on Randall. They turn around and looks at Shlorpian Randall.

Shlorpian Joe: Okay, here is what you gotta do. Head into the woods, find a… *looks down at the creature book with a page about the Mundane* Mundane while drinking moonshine and then you’re one of us.

Shlorpian Randall grins in joy.

Shlorpian Randall: Fuck yeah! I will do it! When do we start?!

The scene then cuts to Shlorpian Randall wearing redneck clothes while drinking Moonshine as the Shlorpian MacCarthy relatives snickers quietly.

Shlorpian Uncle Randy: Alright, these woods aren’t that safe. Be careful for wilderness bullshit out there and good luck!

Shlorpian Randall: Fuck yeah! Let’s do this! *heads into the woods after drinking Moonshine* Wish me luck you wonderful fuckers!

The Shlorpian MacCarthy relatives snickers.

Shlorpian Joe: God! This is gonna get so many likes!

Shlorpian Randy Jr.: How is he that dumb?

Two hours later, Shlorpian Randall, who is now covered with sticks, pin needles, mud and sap pants while having a bandage clothe around his arm.

Shlorpian Randall: Okay… I’m lost in the woods… it’s getting dark oh God so fucking hungry. *sees a bunch of berries* Oooh, these berries don’t look poison.

Shlorpian Randall eats the berries but then starts to hallucinate as a weird background appears as he grows amazed.

Shlorpian Randall: Oooooh….. pretty colors.

Shlorpian Randall keeps hallucinating as the background starts doing crazy things, but then suddenly, Shlorpian Randall finds himself near the lake as he screams and falls into the water as the stream starts to carry him.

Shlorpian Randall: Aaah! *gluts and leaps up for air* Oh fuck oh fuck! *glugs and leaps up for air* This is not fucking happening! *suddenly gasp and sees the waterfall* AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!

Shlorpian Randall falls down the waterfall as he screams in horror. Then Shlorpian Randall made it the surface and heads onto land as he sighs in relief. Back with the others, Korvo starts to wonder where Randall is.

Korvo: Where the fuck is Randall?! He’s supposed to be home by now. It’s already getting late!

Terry: I know. I'm really worried.

Shlorpian Phoebe then realizes something as she looks at her relatives and sighs in dismay.

Shlorpian Phoebe: I know where. Come on boys.

After Korvo and Terry turn into their human forms while Janiz carries baby Lili, the four adults head over the Shlorpian MacCarthy family.

Shlorpian Phoebe: *sighs* Uncle Randy, what did you do this time? Where is Randall?!

Shlorpian Randy: We just told him somethin' 'bout a Mundane being in the woods. *laughs* And boy, did the sucker fall for it!

Human Korvo, Human Terry, Shlorpian Phoebe and Janiz: *gasp* WHAT?!

Shlorpian Phoebe: Uncle Randy, have you all lost your mind?!

Shlorpian Randy snorts

Shlorpian Randy: Yeah. That dumbass has been out in the woods for awhile now. Hope we see the look on his face when he comes back. He’s been gone for like two hours.

Shlorpian Phoebe growls

Human Korvo: What?! Are you nuts?! He must’ve gotten lost! What you rednecks done?! He’s gonna go crazy! *calling out for Randall* RANDALL!

Human Terry: RANDALL! COME BACK!

Shlorpian Phoebe: RANDALL!

Terminator: *appearing from the trees; played for laughs* Randall… Randall… I think he’s gone….

Human Korvo, Human Terry, Janiz and Shlorpian Phoebe looks on in worry. Three weeks later, the family and Shlorpians are in the helicopter.

Earth-4 Ranger: I'm afraid he might not have survived, Mr. Opposites. We've been searching these woods for weeks.

Human Korvo: We've got to keep looking. Randall’s got to be out there somewhere.

The helicopter then lands at the ranger center. The scene then cuts to the ranger station where the Human Solars and the Shlorpians are waiting, until the ranger came in.

Ranger: Good news! We found something in the woods. *hands them Randall’s redneck bandana with Shlorpian blood on it*

Shlorpian Phoebe gasps

Shlorpian Phoebe: Oh my God! That must be what Randall was wearing before he got lost in the woods. We’re so fucking close! Come on guys, to the woods!

Later, the Human Solars and the Shlorpians spread out to find Shlorpian Randall

Shlorpian Phoebe: Okay guys! Fan out and find Randall!

All: Randall! Here Randall! Randall, where are you?! H’no Randall where are you Y’know? Here Randall Randall Randall!

Suddenly, Shlorpian Cheery hears something.

Shlorpian Cheery: Guys! I think hear something!

All: Oh god! Really? What is it?! Randall?! That you Randy?

The gang peeks through the bushes, and sees a now feral Shlorpian Randall.

All: Randall!

Shlorpian Phoebe: Oh Randall, thank God! You’re alive!

Suddenly, Randall starts muttering like an animal in fear as the others grow terrified over what has become of their friend.

Human Terry: Oh my God. Randall has become a motherfucking feral beast!

Shlorpian Janice: *gasp* H’no what do we do now Y’know?!

The scene cuts back to the Solars and their friends arriving home with Shlorpian Janice carrying Shlorpian Randall on his leash.

Shlorpian Janice: Okay Randall, here it is. This is your home. This is the couch where you sit. (Shlorpian Randall starts sniffing around the TV) Oh, yes, that's the television. Kids, I think he recognizes the TV. We're all thinking it, and he just does it.

But then Shlorpian Randall goes feral and starts throwing things while screaming in rage as the gang looks on in dismay. Korvo sighs in dismay.

Korvo: Poor Randall…

Terry: Aw man this is gonna be harder than I thought. Okay guys, team huddle. *the gang does a huddle* Okay, each of us will help Randall. We must do whatever it takes to get our friend back! Now let’s do this!

The scene then cuts to the living room where Shlorpian Janice puts in the dvd.

Randall: *on the dvd* Hello, feral Randall. If you're listening to this, you've probably become feral, and you're probably thinking of a nice juicy rabbit right now. (muttering) But this isn't who you really are, Randall. We got to get you back on track. Isn't that right, buddy? Okay, good. So, feral Randall, why don't you put in tape number two and let's get started. Don't listen to that Randall! That Randall is a liar! Run! Be free! They will enslave you! (grunting gibberish)

Human Terry: Oh for God’s sake! Who encouraged Randall to make those tapes?!

Shlorpian Kevin looks away nervously. The scene the cuts to Shlorpian Jamie about to turn on a record with Shlorpian Randall staring at it.

Shlorpian Jamie: All right, now, I've been trying to figure out something we can do together, and I think I've found it. We're gonna sing a song. Now, I'll start, and when I point to you, you'll sing your part. Ready?

Shlorpian Jamie then plays “Carry on Wayward Son”. Shlorpian Randall seems like he is gonna sing, but then he screams in rage and smashes the record with a huge wooden stick.

Shlorpian Jamie: Yeesh. I thought he liked that song…

Later that night, while the family were sleeping. Korvo hears a loud noise. He then heads outside and turns on his flashlight only for him to scream in horror upon seeing Shlorpian Randall eating garbage like a raccoon.

Korvo: RANDALL! SHOO! GET OUT OF HERE!

Korvo then notices his old pink nightgown

Korvo: Okay, who throw out my old nightgown?

Shlorpian Cooke: My God, you like 34 or something! Accept it!

Korvo sighs. The next morning, Shlorpian Kevin and his family, Shlorpian Cheery, Shlorpian Naomi and Shlorpian Alice came by.

Shlorpian Cheery: Hey guys. Is Randall getting any better?

Terry: *snapping* WHAT DO YOU THINK?!

Shlorpian Cheery: *taken back* Sorry.

Korvo puts a hand on Terry’s shoulder.

Korvo: Terry…

Terry sighs

Terry: I’m sorry. I’m just a little frustrated. This is all Phoebe’s relatives’ fault. I don’t even know why they would sent Randall out in the woods for a fucking Mundane.

Janiz gasps at the mention of the Mundane

Janiz: Did you just said Mundane?

Terry: Yeah? Why?

Janiz: Terry, *gets out her book and shows the gang the page* Terry, that beast is one of the most overwhelming and dangerous creature of all time. The first one to become who the one who is ridiculed all the time because an acient. Koran saved him after he tried to end his life but what he didn’t know that it caused monstrous side effects.

Terry gasps

Terry: Oh my God… that poor Shlorpian… he deserved better…

Korvo weeps

Terry: Oh Korvy. Why are you crying?

Korvo: That poor Shlorpian. He’s been through so much.

Terry: Yeah. I know…

Janiz: I agree…

Terry looks at the page and puts a hand on it as he slides on the picture of the Mundane in a empathy tone and sighs.

Shlorpian Frankie: What about Randall?

Korvo: *sighs* I’m sorry guys… we’ve done everything we could.

Terry: We're gonna have to return him to the wild.

Shlorpian Janice gasp in distraught, but then suddenly gets an idea as she looks at the woods and looks at Shlorpian Randall as she gets an idea smile. The scene cuts to the woods where Shlorpian Janice holds Shlorpian Randall and prepare to take off the leash while showing an encouraging smile.

Shlorpian Janice: H’no Randall, we all love you very much. *smiles* but we all think this is where you finally belong. And where you’ll be happy. Y’know. H’no So, *takes off the color off of Shlorpian Randall* you’re free my love. Whatever adventures you lie ahead of you, know that your friends and family will always be with you in your heart. Now go. Go on. Be free Y’know.

Just then, Shlorpian Janice gives Shlorpian Randall a kiss on the forehead. Then, when Randall starts to walk, he turns around and looks at Shlorpian Janice as he suddenly struggles to talk.

Shlorpian Randall: J-Jan…

Shlorpian Janice: *gasp in joy*

Shlorpian Randall: J-Janice.

Shlorpian Janice: H'no, Randall, y'know?

Shlorpian Randall: *finally regaining his sanity* Janice!

Shlorpian Janice: HONEY!

Shlorpian Janice in tears of joy embraces her boyfriend in a kiss while the others get overjoyed by this moment.

All: Randall! *put their arms all around Randall*

Human Korvo: It’s good to have you back Randall!

Shlorpian Randall: Good to be back!

Later at home, the gang are at Phoebe’s relatives place where Uncle Randy decided to apologize as sighs in dismay.

Shlorpian Uncle Randy: I’m really really sorry about the whole mess. We were wrong to prank friend into going after a monster and turn him into an animal. So I was thinking we could call it, squaresies?

Shlorpian Phoebe: *sighs* Alright. Come on guys, let’s head home.

Human Terry gives Phoebe's family the "I'm watching you" gesture. The gang walks back home as the Shlorpian MacCarthy family looks on. Later that evening, Terry is looking at the Mundane book sadly while Korvo comes in.

Korvo: Terry?

Terry: Hey dear.

Korvo: What's wrong?

Terry: *sighs* Why do I feel empathy for the Mundane?

Korvo: It's kind of a weird feeling, huh? Wanna do some stargazing?

Terry: Oh sure.

The alien husbands lay down on the roof

Korvo: The stars sure are beautiful tonight.

Terry: They'll never be as beautiful as you, Korvy.

Korvo: *blushes* Thank you, darling.

The two alien husbands kiss while moaning lovingly

Terry: *moans lovingly but then starts to feel tired*

Korvo: You tired?

Terry: Mmm-hmm.

Korvo: *chuckles* Come on my love… let’s head to bed… *picks up Terry as they head into their bedroom*

The scene cuts to Yumyulack and Jesse asleep. Korvo and Terry are suddenly heard moaning.

Yumyulack: Oh God! *heads back to sleep while covering his ears*

Jesse: Ugh! Not again! *covers her ears with pillows.

Replicant Sonya: *moans as she covers her ears with her pillows*

Terry: *offscreen* Oh fuck yes, Korvy! More! Oooh!

The scene then cuts to Terry getting close to cumming

Super Shlorpian Korvo: Oh yes! *moans lovingly* Don’t stop now! I feel it getting close! *moans*

Terry: Fuck fuck fuck!

The two husbands moan in ecstasy as they cummed and snuggle close as they kiss on the lips. Super Shlorpian Korvo giggles.

Super Shlorpian Korvo: Nighty night my love… *falls asleep as Terry smiles and kisses him on the forehead*

Terry: Good night…

The two husband sleep as Super Shlorpian Korvo turns back to normal

Korvo: *snoring peacefully*

Terry smiles

Terry: I love you… *heads back to sleep but then starts whimpering in his sleep*

Terry then starts to have the same orange vision again as he began weeping softly in his sleep as his husband holds him in his sleep. Terry calms down.

Terry: *in his thoughts* What is happening to me?

THE END