#my trauma being that of the formula used in tube feeding

[bitchapalooza]

Either my body was reacting to a trauma I knew I had but barely acknowledged or my lactose intolerance is gone???

[grootiez]

The Joys of Raising a Teenaged Groot- Chapter 61: Discussion

The next day, Groot had just got done his daily therapy session and had his feeding tube hooked up to his morning formula. Rocket and the other Guardians were bringing the teenager back to his room to relax for a little bit before he had to go to Calina for his speech therapy lesson when Azrik approached them in the hall.

“Hey, can I see you guys in the conference room?” Azrik beseeches the Guardians as Groot whines, clearly tired and in need of a nap before he went to Calina’s office to work on using his speech device.

“Yeah.” Rocket replies as the Guardians follow Groot’s aide to the conference room. “What’s this all about?”

“We’re going to start the process of letting Groot leave here and stay at home on the weekends on a trial basis.” Azrik stated as he held open the door for the Guardians to enter the conference room as Drax pushed Groot inside.

The Guardians took their seats in the big fluffy brown leather rolling chairs and Drax parked Groot in his chair before he took his seat next to him.

“Um, Drax, do you mind if you bring Groot to the middle?” Azrik asks as he gets the Hologram projector ready. “We’re going to be appealing to the insurance company for them to reinstate Groot’s life insurance plan and it would help if they saw him in person.”

Drax gets up and moves Groot to the center as the Guardians moved their chairs to make enough room for the teen. Once they were all settled, Azrik spoke again.

“Now, let me get a representative on the phone and we’ll get started.” Azrik says as he inputs the insurance company’s contact information to get them on the other end. Once he gets through the various prompts and is talking to a real person, her image appears on the hologram.

“Hello, I am Zorthir, and what are we discussing today?” The man introduces himself.

“Hi, Zorthir, I’m Azrik of Bright Horizons Child and Adolescent Rehabilitation Center, and I have a patient in my care here whose insurance policy was canceled and his family and I would like to reinstate it.” Azrik states as Zorthir begins typing on his computer.

“Alright, and what’s the patient’s name?” Zorthir asks as he brings up a database to search.

“His name is Groot.” Azrik answers.

“And what is Groot’s last name?” Zorthir responded as Azrik looks at Rocket.

Rocket panics. Groot hasn’t had the need to have a last name in his entire life. Even when Groot was taken from the Guardians’ custody and placed in an orphanage for a period of time while the dysfunctional family (mainly Rocket) fought their hardest to get Groot back, the sapling was referred to by a random string of letters and numbers rather than by a name. It was only when Rocket gained legal custody of the young Flora Colossus, that Groot was granted his name by the judge.

“Um, well, um...” Rocket was struggling to speak. “Well, um, you see, um-.”

Peter leaned over to the raccoon’s side. “Well, Rocket, isn’t Groot legally your son?”

“Yeah, but-.” Rocket responded as he looked at the humie.

“Well back on Earth, Groot would take up your last name.” Peter explains. “You are his father after all.”

This got Rocket thinking. He nodded as he said “Alright, Quill. I agree.” Rocket states as Zorthir types in the rest of Groot’s immediate information.

“Now, Azrik, I need to ask you a few questions before I’m able to proceed with Groot’s reinstatement.” Zorthir began. “The first one is I don’t have any of Groot’s medical history on file. Do you mind sending me that information?”

“I can and I’m doing that right now.” Azrik replies as he taps on his tablet and sends Groot’s medical information over to Zorthir.

“Okay, and I’m trying to look up Groot’s current insurance plan and it says that he’s deceased.” Zorthir glances at his computer as Rocket holds his emotions in. “Do you know what the story is with that and what’s his prognosis now?”

“Groot came to us from Zanara Trauma Center.” Azrik explains.

“Why did he end up there? That place is where they send the sickest of the sick, people who’ve been in traumatic accidents, or for those who need intensive medical treatments.” Zorthir questions.

“His father, Rocket, can explain what happened that night.” Azrik responds as Zorthir turns his attention towards the raccoon.

Rocket tries to hold back his emotions. Surely reliving and having to retell the worst night of both his and Groot’s lives was not going to be easy for him.

“I, um...” Rocket began, trying to not choke up. “Groot, um, Groot was in a bad mood that night and he went up to his room. Gammy went up to his room five minutes later to check on him and that’s when we discovered that Groot ran away from home by climbing out of his bedroom window. I then went out to look for him.”

The next part was hard for Rocket to talk about. “I-I finally found Groot... But be-before I could get to him...” Rocket choked up. He couldn’t finish the rest of that fateful night.

“It’s alright, Rocket.” Azrik consoles the raccoon as he dries his eyes with a tissue. “I can explain the rest of the story if need be.” He tells Zorthir.

“Go ahead.” Zorthir permits as he gestures.

“Well, Groot sustained multiple stab wounds, as well as a black eye and both of his legs and his left arm being broken as a result of the attack. Groot was in so much pain that by the time that he was done, he had to be put in a medically-induced coma and on life support.”

“Were there any further complications?” Zorthir asks as he wrote down everything that Azrik was telling him.

“Yes, while Groot was being put in the coma, he stopped breathing, going into cardiac arrest, and dying on the table. This all happened twice before he was stabilized.” Azrik stated. “His nurse said that he lost a lot of oxygen and could have suffered irreversible brain damage.”

“And what was his prognosis on that first night?” Zorthir questioned Azrik.

“Groot’s prognosis wasn’t good.” Azrik began. “His injuries were so severe that he wasn’t expected to live through the night. If he did survive, Groot would more than likely be severely brain damaged and bed ridden for the rest of his life, unable to interact with the people he’s around and having to be supported by machines for the rest of his life.”

“What is Groot’s prognosis now?” Zorthir queried.

“Well, as you can see, Groot is able to interact with everyone, he speaks using a speech device, and as you can see, he is not bedridden and can get around using a custom made manual wheelchair.” Azrik stated as Groot smiled.

“About when did Groot get his wheelchair?” Zorthir asked.

“He got it the first day that he started therapy here, so about a couple months ago.” Azrik answered.

“Now, that chair that he’s sitting in, that’s a custom-made one, correct?” Zorthir replied as he looked at his paperwork and Azrik nodded. “Those are expensive because of the modifications needed to make Groot comfortable in it and Groot’s insurance was cancelled when he obtained it because on his policy, he was listed as recently deceased, or else we would have covered the cost of it completely. Now, on the order form it lists a Mr. Peter J. Quill as the holder of the credit card that was used to pay for it-.”

“Wait a second...” Peter growls as he stands up and turns to Rocket, fists clinched. “You said that you paid for Groot’s chair yourself...” The humie was furious now as Rocket turned in his seat to hide a snicker. “Rocket...” The raccoon still couldn’t stop laughing to himself as Peter made him look at his angry face. “You stupid ball of fur and trash, what the HELL are you laughing at?”

“Just an idiot who can’t even keep an eye on his own wallet.” Rocket snickers as Quill reaches over to slap the rodent.

“Boys, boys!” Gamora scolds the two as Rocket hisses at Peter, baring his teeth in a defensive manner. “I’m sorry for their behavior, but these two numbskulls are always bickering like an old married couple.”

“Hey!” Rocket and Peter chimed in at the same time. “No we don’t! I would never-.” They both finish in unison together as they slowly turned to look at each other.

“Shut up, Star-Munch!” Rocket snarls as he leans against his chair’s armrest, ready to pounce on Peter. “Everyone here knows that you waste money on useless junk anyways, so I made you buy something that’ll benefit somebody else than you.” He then looks at Peter to apologize. “I’m sorry, I should’ve asked you first before I maxed out your credit card...”

Before Peter could say anything, Zorthir responds. “Since Groot clearly needs his chair to get around, I will approve it getting covered by insurance, which reminds me, Azrik, can you please send me all of his medical records and diagnoses?”

Azrik swipes his finger across the holographic pad in his hands. “Just did.” He says as Zorthir hears a notification ding on his end and he read the files Azrik sent him.

“Alright. I’ll get Groot re-enrolled into our system on his original policy.” Zorthir informs the Guardians. “Luckily, there’s a few things his policy covers the cost on.”

“Like what?” Gamora questions.

“For starters, all of Groot’s daily and specialty medications, as well as his formula would be covered.” Zorthir began. “It also says on his records that he uses a communication device to talk. About how long has he had it?”

“He got it the day before he got his wheelchair, so at least for a few months now.” Azrik replies. “And he’s gotten better and better with using it to communicate.”

“Alright. When I reactivate Groot’s insurance plan, Rocket, since you’re his primary legal guardian and caregiver, you will be reimbursed for the amount of the wheelchair and his talker.” Peter stood up from his seat. “Wait a minute! Rocket stole MY money FROM MY bank account! So shouldn’t it be ME who get reimbursed from the insurance company?!?!”

“I’m sorry, but as he is listed as the only parent or legal guardian, as well as Groot’s primary caregiver, Rocket is the only person entitled to any monetary compensation from Groot’s insurance policy due to his medical needs.” Zorthir explains as Rocket holds one of his paws up to say something.

“Wait a minute.” Rocket interrupts. “Quill, I’m sorry that I haven’t been truthful with ya from the day we first met.” He apologizes as Peter scoffs, knowing that the raccoon is secretly trying to finagle something that Peter would have to pay him back with later. “I’m sorry that I went behind your back and stole your credit card in order to pay for Groot’s chair. I was greedy and didn’t want to pay for it myself. So how about I pay you back the full amount and... here.” The raccoon gets out his holographic currency exchanger and transfers the appropriate amount of Units to Peter.

Peter was dumbfounded by the gesture as he got out his own currency exchanger and saw the Units were in fact back in to his banking account.

“Wow, Rocket, uh, thanks.” Peter’s gratitude is apparent as Rocket just ignores it and shrugs it off.

“Now, back to the situation at hand, are there any further things that need to be discussed?” Zorthir questions.

“Yes, there are a couple of things that we’re looking into for Groot. The first thing is, he’s made tremendous strides in his recovery and we’re thinking about letting him go home for the weekends and come back here for the weekdays so that we can continue his care and various therapies that he needs.” Azrik stated as Groot looked at and smiled at Rocket.

“That would be a good step in his recovery and I’m in agreement with it.” Zorthir then cleared his throat. “But, your house will need to be evaluated and certain modifications made in order for it to be accessible for Groot. Now, we would cover any and all necessary renovations and all of the required equipment, but it’ll need to be inspected by a certified contractor and approved before Groot could go home.”

“Okay, we agree with all of that. Is there anything else that Groot would need when he comes home?” Gamora inquired.

“Yes. Because of Groot’s various conditions, he will need a personal care nurse to take care of him, give him his medications, and monitor his progress over the weekend.” Zorthir explains. “After that, if things improve we can hopefully increase the time that he’s home to a week at a time. I would expect all of you to pay attention to Groot's needs and help out wherever possible.”He implores the Guardians as they all agree.

Zorthir then shuffles the various amounts of paperwork on his desk. “Okay, then. I think that concludes our meeting.” He declares as he begins to stand up as Groot taps Azrik’s shoulder.

“Wait, there’s actually something that we need to mention.” Azrik says as Zorthir sat back down. “A few days ago, Groot got the opportunity to test out and drive a power wheelchair. He did so well with it, we decided that he would be a good candidate to get one of his own, fully customized to his needs.” Azrik explains as he sends over a copy of the order form for the chair in question. “The thing is, Groot would need all of the specialized features like the electric tilt, recline, powered leg rests, and elevated seat in order to be completely comfortable. He would also need things like the attendant control in case he can’t drive the chair himself and one of his family members need to do it for him.”

Zorthir looks at the order form intently. “I see. A customized wheelchair like this isn’t exactly cheap and can run in the range of 30-40 thousand Units. Thankfully, this is the kind of thing that Groot’s newly reactivated insurance plan would cover the complete cost on. So good news, Groot! You’ll be getting your new wheelchair when it’s ready.” He declares as he signed off on the form as excited shouts could be heard coming from Groot as Azrik ended the conference.

After about fifteen more minutes of talking between Azrik and the Guardians, they left the conference room so that Groot could continue on with his day. The excitement couldn’t be contained within Groot as the Guardians made their way back to the teenager’s room for a well-deserved celebration. ———————————————————————————————

@trashpandaorigins @madness-on-the-milano @madcatz6277 @blaketoziers @butterflyinthewell @canuckscot @i-sudoku @janetgenea @lothirielswanmarvel @netbug009 @pineapple-crow @rocket-roquill-raccoon @rocket-ringtail-raccoon @rr4901 @sesshouki @skarabrae-stone @thatcrappypuppy @vic394 @woozletania @whoop-whoop-grocket———————————————————————————————

Read on Ao3.

[besthealthtale-blog]

What This Mom Learned About Food Culture in America After Her Baby Stopped Eating

You’ll want to have tissues handy when you dive into The Eating Instinct: Food Culture, Body Image, and Guilt in America. Though the new book from Virginia Sole-Smith might sound at first blush like a feminist or body-positivity book—both of which it is—it’s also a deeply personal, heart-wrenching story.

Sole-Smith’s elder daughter, Violet, stopped eating by mouth at nine weeks old, and didn’t start again until she was about 16 months old. Rare congenital heart defects landed Violet in the hospital four weeks into her tiny life, and she emerged with what’s known medically as an oral aversion or infantile anorexia. It’s “when a child refuses to eat as a way of protecting herself from perceived trauma,” writes Sole-Smith. Violet was restricted to feeding tubes for much of her infancy, leaving her mother stricken, frightened, and wondering, “What does it mean to learn to eat, in a world that’s telling us not to eat?”

A journalist who covers health, parenting, lifestyle, and culture, Sole-Smith dove into the topic with a reporter’s zeal for talking to experts. She interviewed dieticians (including some with their own eating disorders), poverty-stricken moms recovering from cocaine addictions, “health at every size” activists, anti-fat doctors, and plenty of researchers. The result is a data-packed book with the epic tale of little Violet re-learning to eat threaded throughout.

Here, Sole-Smith delves deeper into a few of the topics she covered in her book.

Your book ends with your desire to feed your younger daughter by mouth. Did that work?

Beatrix is 10 months old and a very typical eater; she took swimmingly to breastfeeding and bottle-feeding. I really went into baby number two thinking my number one goal is a baby who eats by mouth. I am not picky. I also knew after the devastating experience with Violet and breastfeeding [that] I didn’t want all that pressure on my shoulders.

We did combination feeding [a mix of breast milk and formula] from the beginning. She had a little formula her first night [to] help take the pressure off. My milk took a couple days to come in. … Then we did what worked. I was like, “I’m not listening to anyone this time. Tell everyone to shut up. I’m going to feed the baby the way that makes sense.”

The “breast is best” breast-feeding pressure thing that moms hear; is it hammered a lot?

A few years ago when I had Violet it really felt like I had to breast-feed this baby or I had failed as a mother. I don’t think that’s quite there anymore. What I’m still seeing is now a set of “allowed” circumstances in which you can [choose not to] breast-feed but you have to have failed at it. … “It’s OK to be using formula if you had a traumatic birth. If there are reasons … because XYZ happened.”

We’re not yet to a place where people can generally do what I did [with Beatrix], which is, “I’m going to do what works and not feel bad about it. I’m gonna stop breast-feeding when it stops being fun.”

Isn’t breast-feeding also a big time commitment for women?

It’s a huge time commitment. Anyone who says, ‘Oh, breast-feeding is free,’ doesn’t think a woman’s time is worth anything. My billable hours are [worth] a lot more than a can of formula. It’s another way that our culture is saying, “We control women’s bodies; we control women and food.” That’s what I’m arguing against in the book. There’s a lot of overlap between diet culture messages and exclusive breastfeeding messages. I think the two have gotten pretty murky. The literature is not cut-and-dry on what the healthiest choice is. There are many circumstances where formula is the healthiest choice for the baby. We don’t celebrate that. We just say, “Women need to turn their bodies over to the babies,” just like we say the rest of the time, “Women have to be as thin as possible.” It’s all of a piece, in my mind.

Trying to get Violet to eat by mouth, you used the “division of responsibility” theory. Can you explain it?

It’s a theory developed by Ellyn Satter, a family therapist and nutritionist, back in the 80s. She’s written several books about it, but I’m seeing it more and more in the mainstream conversations around kids, which is really exciting. The premise of it is that children are autonomous beings who should have agency over their bodies and what goes into their bodies. Rather than parents being in charge of every bite of food and meticulously counting out portions and all that, it says, “Nope, parents and children are in a feeding relationship, and they each have certain roles.”

Parents are in charge of what food is offered, where it’s offered (preferably at a table, not in front of the TV or mindlessly grazing around the house), and when it’s offered. They try to keep kids on a schedule so that kids have time to get hungry and come to the table hungry. After that—after they’ve said, “OK, we’re eating dinner at this time, and this place, and here’s what your choices are,” the parents’ job is done.

Kids are in charge of how much they eat, which of the foods they eat of what you offer, and even whether they eat at that meal. They’re in charge of listening to their bodies, in terms of hunger and fullness, and in terms of, “Of the foods you’re offering me, what do I really need right now? Maybe I don’t really need a piece of chicken at this meal; maybe I’m really hungry just for the pasta.” That’s fine. We kind of trust kids to listen to their bodies and know what they’re really hungry for.

Having seen parent friends negotiate “one more piece of chicken before you’re done,” I feel like this must be controversial. Is it?

We had to do division of responsibility; we were in an extreme situation. What I see with parents who are feeding kids in more typical situations, is when they’re not practicing division of responsibility, it’s probably fine for a while, depending on the temperament of your kid. A lot of kids are like, “Yeah, I’ll have another bite of broccoli, whatever. My mom really cares that I finish all these blueberries, so I’ll just do it.” … That’s fine. Not every family will find that strategy problematic, at least in the short term.

But what will happen over time is that child is being given the message that many of us received as kids of, “I don’t know what’s best for my body. I don’t know what I’m hungry and full for. When I do feel full, maybe I can’t trust that, because somebody else—this adult that I love and I trust—is saying, ‘No, no, no. I know what your body needs. It doesn’t need a cookie. You shouldn’t want a cookie. You should want broccoli.’” That doesn’t line up with the kid’s [experience]. It’s a really confusing message to send to kids.

My concern is that over time, with typical eaters, that leads to undercutting their sense of trust in their own bodies, and that makes them much more vulnerable to the messages of diet culture. Because now they’ve sort of grown up thinking, “I don’t know what’s best for me with food.” So of course when they’re struggling with weight, or feeling unhappy with their body for whatever reason, they think, “I must need a diet or this external rules to tell me what to do because I’ve never known. No one’s ever said, ‘[You] know what’s best for your body.’”

I want to be clear: It’s not about shaming parents who do that. It’s just about thinking long-term. We’re thinking short term, “I gotta get this kid through eating without a meltdown.” I have all the empathy in the world for that. Those short-term decisions are hard to pull off. … What you want long-term isn’t always what you want short-term.

Some would say, “Kids are wrong that they need cookies. I know more than they do.”

What I would say is, I don’t think any of us know as much as we think we know about nutrition. The nutrition advice is always changing. When I was a kid in the ‘80s, it was all about fat, and low-fat and fat free, and now we’re all, “More with the avocados and coconut oil!” The science on this is not settled in any way.

To say I’m gonna follow nutrition instead of letting my kids listen to their own bodies, you’re not taking the more cut-and-dry fact-based approach by any means. There is good data supporting division of responsibility. It’s not as robust as I’d like, but we are starting to see more data supporting that teaching kids to honor hunger and fullness is a way to put them towards a healthier relationship with food. The parent is still in charge of choosing the what. You are still choosing the nutrition. But we’re not dictators. We’re more benign leaders.

We always have a banana on the dinner table; it’s one of my daughter’s safe foods. If she’s not going to eat the rest of the meal, I know she’ll eat the banana, and I’ve accommodated her that way.

In your book’s conclusion, you dream of a world of judgment-free, guilt-free eating. Are you an intuitive eating proponent?

Yeah. I’m in no way an expert on it. I’m not a dietician or someone who can offer the specifics of how you learn that. It’s something that I aspire to and practice myself, I try to encourage it with my kids, and as with all things, I’m always overly hesitant to use the label, because there are lots of diet plans marketed around intuitive eating that are really not. Caveat that I’m for trueintuitive eating, not intuitive eating with a goal of weight loss. It’s the only way I’ve found that makes sense.

[murse-ratchet]

I lost my kid last night.

So precursor to this, I am a pediatric nurse and I work in a trauma center in Westchester, New York.

We get the sickest kids in the state and I am familiar with bad outcomes and sad cases. We see anything from parents dunking their children in boiling water, children with terminal cancer, to open heart surgeries and kids with epilepsy. Long story short, I work in a sad place to try and make kids feel better.

So I started at this hospital in September. First nursing job out of school. I was excited to get started and work with babies and kids to make their lives better.

My first day I was given one patient, 6 month old male with a large medical history; Down’s syndrome, asthma, short gut syndrome, hypoplastic left heart, pulmonary hypertension, hypothyroidism, the works.

My baby was my world, for twelve hours I did everything for him, fed him, gave him fluids, changed him, bathed him, and played with him. It was a few weeks till I had him again.

The next time I saw my little boy, he was choking on his formula, crying, sweating, vomiting, and in a very severe form of respiratory distress. It broke my heart to see my little baby knocking on deaths door. I called a rapid response (a way nurses can get critical care trained team members to assess a kid when they start going south) The team came to the bedside and put a tube in his throat and whisked him to surgery.

I didn’t see him again until a few weeks ago. Still the bright bouncing baby that I loved months ago. We got back to our routine, of care for him and he’d nuzzle into my neck and fall asleep. His family never visited, so I spent all the time I could with my boy.

He was doing so well! Ready to be discharged and sent to a foster family to be out of the hospital for the first time in three months. Within 24 hours he turned critical. I assessed him last night at 7pm. He looked a little dusky and more lethargic than usual. I figured he had a bad day from the tests he had that day so I kept up with our routine. I played Motown and sang to him while cleaning, feeding, changing his lines and his tubes. In the middle of his favorite song, “You Can’t Hurry Love” by the supremes —he always would laugh and wiggle while I sang this to him— I looked down and my little 9 month old man was gasping for breath with that terrifying dusky blue color that nurses fear.

I called the code and they whisked us to surgery, nurses from the OR gowning me up as I’m trying my hardest to keep my baby alive. They cut him open from sternum to pelvis, and when they looked inside, the dark meaty color of necrotizing faciitis looked back. His entire GI tract had died and there was nothing else to do. We brought him to the intensive care unit being kept alive by drugs and a breathing machine. And I held him and cried. His mom had decided she couldn’t see him like this and asked we remove life support. So I climbed in his crib, layed him on my chest so he nuzzled in my neck once more, and he took his last breath in my arms.

My baby died at 2106.

But such is the life of a pediatric nurse. I must move on with my shift. I must move on with my life. I’ll cry in the bathroom, wipe my tears, and see my next child.

I love my baby still, and I know he loved me.

[brandyfields66-blog]

What This Mom Learned About Food Culture in America After Her Baby Stopped Eating

You'll want to have tissues handy when you dive into The Eating Instinct: Food Culture, Body Image, and Guilt in America. Though the new book from Virginia Sole-Smith might sound at first blush like a feminist or body-positivity book-both of which it is-it's also a deeply personal, heart-wrenching story.

Sole-Smith's elder daughter, Violet, stopped eating by mouth at nine weeks old, and didn't start again until she was about 16 months old. Rare congenital heart defects landed Violet in the hospital four weeks into her tiny life, and she emerged with what's known medically as an oral aversion or infantile anorexia. It's “when a child refuses to eat as a way of protecting herself from perceived trauma,” writes Sole-Smith. Violet was restricted to feeding tubes for much of her infancy, leaving her mother stricken, frightened, and wondering, “What does it mean to learn to eat, in a world that's telling us not to eat?”

A journalist who covers health, parenting, lifestyle, and culture, Sole-Smith dove into the topic with a reporter's zeal for talking to experts. She interviewed dieticians (including some with their own eating disorders), poverty-stricken moms recovering from cocaine addictions, “health at every size” activists, anti-fat doctors, and plenty of researchers. The result is a data-packed book with the epic tale of little Violet re-learning to eat threaded throughout.

Here, Sole-Smith delves deeper into a few of the topics she covered in her book.

RELATED: Why We Need to Stop Talking About Food and Guilt

Your book ends with your desire to feed your younger daughter by mouth. Did that work?

Beatrix is 10 months old and a very typical eater; she took swimmingly to breastfeeding and bottle-feeding. I really went into baby number two thinking my number one goal is a baby who eats by mouth. I am not picky. I also knew after the devastating experience with Violet and breastfeeding [that] I didn't want all that pressure on my shoulders.

We did combination feeding [a mix of breast milk and formula] from the beginning. She had a little formula her first night [to] help take the pressure off. My milk took a couple days to come in. … Then we did what worked. I was like, “I'm not listening to anyone this time. Tell everyone to shut up. I'm going to feed the baby the way that makes sense.” 

The “breast is best” breast-feeding pressure thing that moms hear; is it hammered a lot?

A few years ago when I had Violet it really felt like I had to breast-feed this baby or I had failed as a mother. I don't think that's quite there anymore. What I'm still seeing is now a set of “allowed” circumstances in which you can [choose not to] breast-feed but you have to have failed at it. … “It's OK to be using formula if you had a traumatic birth. If there are reasons … because XYZ happened.”

We're not yet to a place where people can generally do what I did [with Beatrix], which is, “I'm going to do what works and not feel bad about it. I'm gonna stop breast-feeding when it stops being fun.”

RELATED: The Mindful Eating Hack That Helped Me Stop Obsessing About Food

Isn't breast-feeding also a big time commitment for women?

It's a huge time commitment. Anyone who says, 'Oh, breast-feeding is free,' doesn't think a woman's time is worth anything. My billable hours are [worth] a lot more than a can of formula. It's another way that our culture is saying, “We control women's bodies; we control women and food.” That's what I'm arguing against in the book. There's a lot of overlap between diet culture messages and exclusive breastfeeding messages. I think the two have gotten pretty murky. The literature is not cut-and-dry on what the healthiest choice is. There are many circumstances where formula is the healthiest choice for the baby. We don't celebrate that. We just say, “Women need to turn their bodies over to the babies,” just like we say the rest of the time, “Women have to be as thin as possible.” It's all of a piece, in my mind.

Trying to get Violet to eat by mouth, you used the “division of responsibility” theory. Can you explain it?

It's a theory developed by Ellyn Satter, a family therapist and nutritionist, back in the 80s. She's written several books about it, but I'm seeing it more and more in the mainstream conversations around kids, which is really exciting. The premise of it is that children are autonomous beings who should have agency over their bodies and what goes into their bodies. Rather than parents being in charge of every bite of food and meticulously counting out portions and all that, it says, “Nope, parents and children are in a feeding relationship, and they each have certain roles.”

Parents are in charge of what food is offered, where it's offered (preferably at a table, not in front of the TV or mindlessly grazing around the house), and when it's offered. They try to keep kids on a schedule so that kids have time to get hungry and come to the table hungry. After that-after they've said, “OK, we're eating dinner at this time, and this place, and here's what your choices are,” the parents' job is done.

Kids are in charge of how much they eat, which of the foods they eat of what you offer, and even whether they eat at that meal. They're in charge of listening to their bodies, in terms of hunger and fullness, and in terms of, “Of the foods you're offering me, what do I really need right now? Maybe I don't really need a piece of chicken at this meal; maybe I'm really hungry just for the pasta.” That's fine. We kind of trust kids to listen to their bodies and know what they're really hungry for.

RELATED: 20 Signs You're Too Obsessed With Your Weight 

Having seen parent friends negotiate “one more piece of chicken before you're done,” I feel like this must be controversial. Is it?

We had to do division of responsibility; we were in an extreme situation. What I see with parents who are feeding kids in more typical situations, is when they're not practicing division of responsibility, it's probably fine for a while, depending on the temperament of your kid. A lot of kids are like, “Yeah, I'll have another bite of broccoli, whatever. My mom really cares that I finish all these blueberries, so I'll just do it.” … That's fine. Not every family will find that strategy problematic, at least in the short term.

But what will happen over time is that child is being given the message that many of us received as kids of, “I don't know what's best for my body. I don't know what I'm hungry and full for. When I do feel full, maybe I can't trust that, because somebody else-this adult that I love and I trust-is saying, 'No, no, no. I know what your body needs. It doesn't need a cookie. You shouldn't want a cookie. You should want broccoli.'” That doesn't line up with the kid's [experience]. It's a really confusing message to send to kids.

My concern is that over time, with typical eaters, that leads to undercutting their sense of trust in their own bodies, and that makes them much more vulnerable to the messages of diet culture. Because now they've sort of grown up thinking, “I don't know what's best for me with food.” So of course when they're struggling with weight, or feeling unhappy with their body for whatever reason, they think, “I must need a diet or this external rules to tell me what to do because I've never known. No one's ever said, '[You] know what's best for your body.'”

I want to be clear: It's not about shaming parents who do that. It's just about thinking long-term. We're thinking short term, “I gotta get this kid through eating without a meltdown.” I have all the empathy in the world for that. Those short-term decisions are hard to pull off. … What you want long-term isn't always what you want short-term.

RELATED: The Eating Disorder Many Women Don't Know They Have

Some would say, “Kids are wrong that they need cookies. I know more than they do.”

What I would say is, I don't think any of us know as much as we think we know about nutrition. The nutrition advice is always changing. When I was a kid in the '80s, it was all about fat, and low-fat and fat free, and now we're all, “More with the avocados and coconut oil!” The science on this is not settled in any way.

To say I'm gonna follow nutrition instead of letting my kids listen to their own bodies, you're not taking the more cut-and-dry fact-based approach by any means. There is good data supporting division of responsibility. It's not as robust as I'd like, but we are starting to see more data supporting that teaching kids to honor hunger and fullness is a way to put them towards a healthier relationship with food. The parent is still in charge of choosing the what. You are still choosing the nutrition. But we're not dictators. We're more benign leaders.

We always have a banana on the dinner table; it's one of my daughter's safe foods. If she's not going to eat the rest of the meal, I know she'll eat the banana, and I've accommodated her that way.

In your book's conclusion, you dream of a world of judgment-free, guilt-free eating. Are you an intuitive eating proponent?

Yeah. I'm in no way an expert on it. I'm not a dietician or someone who can offer the specifics of how you learn that. It's something that I aspire to and practice myself, I try to encourage it with my kids, and as with all things, I'm always overly hesitant to use the label, because there are lots of diet plans marketed around intuitive eating that are really not. Caveat that I'm for true intuitive eating, not intuitive eating with a goal of weight loss. It's the only way I've found that makes sense.

Alex Van Buren is a Brooklyn-based writer, editor and content strategist whose work has appeared in The Washington Post, Bon Appétit, Travel + Leisure, New York Magazine, Condé Nast Traveler, and Epicurious. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter @alexvanburen.

To get our top stories delivered to your inbox, sign up for the Healthy Living newsletter

[reynoldslevi10-blog]

What This Mom Learned About Food Culture in America After Her Baby Stopped Eating

You'll want to have tissues handy when you dive into The Eating Instinct: Food Culture, Body Image, and Guilt in America. Though the new book from Virginia Sole-Smith might sound at first blush like a feminist or body-positivity book-both of which it is-it's also a deeply personal, heart-wrenching story.

Sole-Smith's elder daughter, Violet, stopped eating by mouth at nine weeks old, and didn't start again until she was about 16 months old. Rare congenital heart defects landed Violet in the hospital four weeks into her tiny life, and she emerged with what's known medically as an oral aversion or infantile anorexia. It's “when a child refuses to eat as a way of protecting herself from perceived trauma,” writes Sole-Smith. Violet was restricted to feeding tubes for much of her infancy, leaving her mother stricken, frightened, and wondering, “What does it mean to learn to eat, in a world that's telling us not to eat?”

A journalist who covers health, parenting, lifestyle, and culture, Sole-Smith dove into the topic with a reporter's zeal for talking to experts. She interviewed dieticians (including some with their own eating disorders), poverty-stricken moms recovering from cocaine addictions, “health at every size” activists, anti-fat doctors, and plenty of researchers. The result is a data-packed book with the epic tale of little Violet re-learning to eat threaded throughout.

Here, Sole-Smith delves deeper into a few of the topics she covered in her book.

RELATED: Why We Need to Stop Talking About Food and Guilt

Your book ends with your desire to feed your younger daughter by mouth. Did that work?

Beatrix is 10 months old and a very typical eater; she took swimmingly to breastfeeding and bottle-feeding. I really went into baby number two thinking my number one goal is a baby who eats by mouth. I am not picky. I also knew after the devastating experience with Violet and breastfeeding [that] I didn't want all that pressure on my shoulders.

We did combination feeding [a mix of breast milk and formula] from the beginning. She had a little formula her first night [to] help take the pressure off. My milk took a couple days to come in. … Then we did what worked. I was like, “I'm not listening to anyone this time. Tell everyone to shut up. I'm going to feed the baby the way that makes sense.” 

The “breast is best” breast-feeding pressure thing that moms hear; is it hammered a lot?

A few years ago when I had Violet it really felt like I had to breast-feed this baby or I had failed as a mother. I don't think that's quite there anymore. What I'm still seeing is now a set of “allowed” circumstances in which you can [choose not to] breast-feed but you have to have failed at it. … “It's OK to be using formula if you had a traumatic birth. If there are reasons … because XYZ happened.”

We're not yet to a place where people can generally do what I did [with Beatrix], which is, “I'm going to do what works and not feel bad about it. I'm gonna stop breast-feeding when it stops being fun.”

RELATED: The Mindful Eating Hack That Helped Me Stop Obsessing About Food

Isn't breast-feeding also a big time commitment for women?

It's a huge time commitment. Anyone who says, 'Oh, breast-feeding is free,' doesn't think a woman's time is worth anything. My billable hours are [worth] a lot more than a can of formula. It's another way that our culture is saying, “We control women's bodies; we control women and food.” That's what I'm arguing against in the book. There's a lot of overlap between diet culture messages and exclusive breastfeeding messages. I think the two have gotten pretty murky. The literature is not cut-and-dry on what the healthiest choice is. There are many circumstances where formula is the healthiest choice for the baby. We don't celebrate that. We just say, “Women need to turn their bodies over to the babies,” just like we say the rest of the time, “Women have to be as thin as possible.” It's all of a piece, in my mind.

Trying to get Violet to eat by mouth, you used the “division of responsibility” theory. Can you explain it?

It's a theory developed by Ellyn Satter, a family therapist and nutritionist, back in the 80s. She's written several books about it, but I'm seeing it more and more in the mainstream conversations around kids, which is really exciting. The premise of it is that children are autonomous beings who should have agency over their bodies and what goes into their bodies. Rather than parents being in charge of every bite of food and meticulously counting out portions and all that, it says, “Nope, parents and children are in a feeding relationship, and they each have certain roles.”

Parents are in charge of what food is offered, where it's offered (preferably at a table, not in front of the TV or mindlessly grazing around the house), and when it's offered. They try to keep kids on a schedule so that kids have time to get hungry and come to the table hungry. After that-after they've said, “OK, we're eating dinner at this time, and this place, and here's what your choices are,” the parents' job is done.

Kids are in charge of how much they eat, which of the foods they eat of what you offer, and even whether they eat at that meal. They're in charge of listening to their bodies, in terms of hunger and fullness, and in terms of, “Of the foods you're offering me, what do I really need right now? Maybe I don't really need a piece of chicken at this meal; maybe I'm really hungry just for the pasta.” That's fine. We kind of trust kids to listen to their bodies and know what they're really hungry for.

RELATED: 20 Signs You're Too Obsessed With Your Weight 

Having seen parent friends negotiate “one more piece of chicken before you're done,” I feel like this must be controversial. Is it?

We had to do division of responsibility; we were in an extreme situation. What I see with parents who are feeding kids in more typical situations, is when they're not practicing division of responsibility, it's probably fine for a while, depending on the temperament of your kid. A lot of kids are like, “Yeah, I'll have another bite of broccoli, whatever. My mom really cares that I finish all these blueberries, so I'll just do it.” … That's fine. Not every family will find that strategy problematic, at least in the short term.

But what will happen over time is that child is being given the message that many of us received as kids of, “I don't know what's best for my body. I don't know what I'm hungry and full for. When I do feel full, maybe I can't trust that, because somebody else-this adult that I love and I trust-is saying, 'No, no, no. I know what your body needs. It doesn't need a cookie. You shouldn't want a cookie. You should want broccoli.'” That doesn't line up with the kid's [experience]. It's a really confusing message to send to kids.

My concern is that over time, with typical eaters, that leads to undercutting their sense of trust in their own bodies, and that makes them much more vulnerable to the messages of diet culture. Because now they've sort of grown up thinking, “I don't know what's best for me with food.” So of course when they're struggling with weight, or feeling unhappy with their body for whatever reason, they think, “I must need a diet or this external rules to tell me what to do because I've never known. No one's ever said, '[You] know what's best for your body.'”

I want to be clear: It's not about shaming parents who do that. It's just about thinking long-term. We're thinking short term, “I gotta get this kid through eating without a meltdown.” I have all the empathy in the world for that. Those short-term decisions are hard to pull off. … What you want long-term isn't always what you want short-term.

RELATED: The Eating Disorder Many Women Don't Know They Have

Some would say, “Kids are wrong that they need cookies. I know more than they do.”

What I would say is, I don't think any of us know as much as we think we know about nutrition. The nutrition advice is always changing. When I was a kid in the '80s, it was all about fat, and low-fat and fat free, and now we're all, “More with the avocados and coconut oil!” The science on this is not settled in any way.

To say I'm gonna follow nutrition instead of letting my kids listen to their own bodies, you're not taking the more cut-and-dry fact-based approach by any means. There is good data supporting division of responsibility. It's not as robust as I'd like, but we are starting to see more data supporting that teaching kids to honor hunger and fullness is a way to put them towards a healthier relationship with food. The parent is still in charge of choosing the what. You are still choosing the nutrition. But we're not dictators. We're more benign leaders.

We always have a banana on the dinner table; it's one of my daughter's safe foods. If she's not going to eat the rest of the meal, I know she'll eat the banana, and I've accommodated her that way.

In your book's conclusion, you dream of a world of judgment-free, guilt-free eating. Are you an intuitive eating proponent?

Yeah. I'm in no way an expert on it. I'm not a dietician or someone who can offer the specifics of how you learn that. It's something that I aspire to and practice myself, I try to encourage it with my kids, and as with all things, I'm always overly hesitant to use the label, because there are lots of diet plans marketed around intuitive eating that are really not. Caveat that I'm for true intuitive eating, not intuitive eating with a goal of weight loss. It's the only way I've found that makes sense.

Alex Van Buren is a Brooklyn-based writer, editor and content strategist whose work has appeared in The Washington Post, Bon Appétit, Travel + Leisure, New York Magazine, Condé Nast Traveler, and Epicurious. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter @alexvanburen.

To get our top stories delivered to your inbox, sign up for the Healthy Living newsletter

[melissadiegel-blog]

The Diegel Family Hannah Diegel (now age 12): 4-8-14 removed from Phoenix Childrens Hospital Directly and placed into DCS custody Kayla Diegel (now age 15): 4-10-14 removed from Phoenix Childrens Hospital Directly and placed into DCS custody Claim against the Mom: Medical Abuse Ariz. Rev. Stat. § 1-601 A. The liberty of parents to direct the upbringing, education, healthcare and mental health of their children is a fundamental right. B. This state, any political subdivision of this state or any other governmental entity shall not infringe on these rights without demonstrating that the compelling governmental interest as applied to the child involved is of the highest order, is narrowly tailored and is not otherwise served by a less restrictive means. BACKGROUND followed by EXHIBITS: 1. March 8th- April 8th, 2014 Prior to Hannah's admittance, she was treated in the home, under the care of Dr. Siaw and a home health nurse with Golytely (a powerful laxative- similar to what a patient has for a bowel cleanse prior to a colonoscopy for 8 days, 24 hours a day through her g-tube.) After being treated on and off with multiple laxatives like this for years under Siaw's care and experiencing approximately 30 bowel impactions, Hannah was growing increasingly distraught. Mom fired Dr. Siaw on March 21st 2014 due to his neglect and child endangerment of Hannah. By the time Hannah was taken by the state, Hannah was on that medication (Golytely) for approximately 21 days and received little to no food/ nutrition between March 8th- April 8th, 2014 under the advice of Dr. Siaw. 2. March 26th, 2014 The parents sought appropriate emergency medical treatment (with the advice of the nurse) when Hannah's colon became impacted at home the evening of March 26th, 2014. She had trouble urinating and had contents coming out of her stomach the wrong way. 3. March 27th, 2014 A parent has the fundamental right to seek a second opinion, which mom asked for on the first day that Hannah was admitted back into Phoenix Children's Hospital. 4. March 28th, 2014 Dr. Siaw should never have been allowed to be the GI doctor on this case, (came on shift at the hospital) after being fired by the family. Mom had immediately asked to replace the GI doctor on March 21st and had made multiple calls to arrange this. 5. The Nutritionist did not think Hannah's nutritional needs were being met as is documented in Ex. 6, below. 6. The mother did not think Hannah's nutritional needs were being met. The fired Dr. disagreed, and he apparently thought it was o.k. to make a child fast for 21 days out of 30. We believe that is neglect, child endangerment and malicious intent by any independent doctor or nutritionists' standards. We think that is possibly why risk management was notified and became involved by 3-31-2014 before CPS/ DCS was even called on Melissa on 4-2-2014. 7. Mom was showing the proper care of her daughter Hannah by caring about her nutritional status. This is not a valid reason to remove a child from either parent's care. 8. Hannah has been placed on TPN in the past after only 4 days of Golytely treatment. Given that Hannah has had this pattern in the past and was placed on TPN for nutritional supplementation, it would not be unreasonable for the mother to expect this again, especially considering that Hannah's blood work showed even more nutritional concern when she entered the hospital on March 27th, 2014 compared to the previous time she was put on TPN in July of 2013. 9. The father, Chad Diegel, who had custody rights, who has no criminal record was refused the right to take custody of his daughters "because he supported the mother." 10. The children were not nor have they ever have been in imminent danger while under the parents care. In addition to 2 private nurses, 7 hours a day, 7 days a week tended to the children needs in the home, a cadre of services and providers were actively involved with their care from occupational therapists to art therapy classes. (In addition to these children's serious GI problems, both are high functioning autistic, and Hannah has sever asthma, and underwent brain surgery a year earlier.) 11. The doctors diagnosed and prescribed All treatments on behalf of the girls. All of which were overseen, approved, or recommended by multiple specialists. (see Exhibit 4 & 5 everything listed required doctors approval and a prescription.) In addition, without their mother the girls have declined, see Exhibit 10.) 12. "I Melissa Diegel fired Dr. Siaw for a reason. He has continued to show that even while my daughters are in the states care, he is not capable of handling their complex medical needs and continued to endanger the lives of my children by allowing Hannah to lose 9+ lbs and Kayla to lose 14 lbs. This weight loss, in turn, has allowed Kayla to develop severe malnutrition and a vitamin deficiency, which is something that never happened while they were in my care. While it is known that great measures have been taken to conceal the starvation my girls have endured, it is suspected, and of real concern that these extreme measures are very dangerous based on the few reports that have been released. They indicate significant loss and now supposed weight gain in a very short period of time. Regardless of these measures, the children's lack of nutrition during that extended period of time has most likely caused long lasting permanent damage to their proper physical and mental growth, not to mention the psychological trauma of being feeding tube dependent 24 hours a day and then cut of from that nutrition and their parents overnight without an explanation. Then forced to eat solids when liquids pumped into their bellies is how they were used to thriving....and they thrived under my care, they grew and did well." Exhibit 1 9-22-14 Melissa Diegels Psychological Evaluations indicating no Munchhausen By Proxy. In addition she has a level 1 fingerprint clearance card and no criminal record. Exhibit 2 3-21-13 Kayla's nuclear scan which shows that she has Delayed Gastric Emptying ordered by Dr. Siaw. After this Dr. Siaw diagnosed Kayla with Gastroparesis, (in laymen's terms "paralyzed stomach.") Kayla was eventually put on a g-j tube, meaning they bypassed her stomach completely, because it was not working properly. This then allowed the liquid feeding tube nutrition to be fed directly into the small intestine (jejunum.) Exhibit 3 7-24-13 Hannah's nuclear scan that shows she has extremely slow solid Gastric Emptying, ordered by Dr. Siaw, (Gastroparesis.) Exhibit 4 2013+ Prior to being taken: Kayla had 1 on 1 home health nursing services in which their primary insurance company paid for, 7 days a week 7 hours a day while living at home under the moms care. Exhibit 5 2013+ Prior to being taken: Hannah had 1 on 1 home health nursing services in which their primary insurance company paid for, 7 days a week 7 hours a day while living at home under the moms care. Exhibit 6 3-31-14 and 4-3-14 Nutritionists report showing Hannah had inadequate nutritional intake as noted in the hospital records on *3-31-14 and 4-3-14. Nutritionist notes state that Hannah was receiving INADAQUATE nutrition as of 3-31-2014, she recommends blood work, she discusses TPN and recommends nutrition for Hannah. [SEE EXHIBIT #8] An energy goal of 1200 calories and a fluid goal of 1800 calories is recommended. She mentions Hannah's energy and protein needs are inadequate and that her oral and nutritional support intake is inadequate. On 4-3-2014 she maintains there is inadequate intake and recommends an 1800 calorie diet. By the time Hannah sees the nutritionist the second time Hannah had gone approximately 16 days on a clear liquid diet, with little to no nutrition, like fasting. The nutritionist recommends 4 boxes of resource breeze and 83% calorie goal. Hannah receives 1 a day as noted in the hospital notes instead of 4. Exhibit 7 4-2-14 Anne Beasley MD claims Hannahs nutritional status is "optimal." -Phoenix Childrens Hospital 4-2-14 *CPS is called this day. **Note risk management involvement on 3-31-14 Exhibit 8 4-2-14 CPS hotline report The ONLY Claim and reason for taking Hannah away: 1.Mom wants TPN 2. Mom wants Port Hospital CPS Report: "Report made to CPS hotline today regarding concerns that mothers perception of patients medical condition and prognosis are not congruent with patients current status and concerns that mother's request for medical procedures and treatment that are not medically indicated or in patients best interest per including port placement and TPN." TPN= total parenteral nutrition (TPN) allows a person to receive nutritional formula that contains nutrients such as glucose, amino acids, lipids and added vitamins and dietary minerals when no significant nutrition is obtained by other routes. TPN bypasses the digestive system entirely and goes directly into the bloodstream, where the nutrients are then absorbed. The solution is given through a catheter that has to be placed in a vein. In essence, you can receive vital nutrients through the blood like fats, calories and protein that otherwise are not being received by any other means. Exhibit 9 8-1-14 Letter to PCH stating Melissa does not give her permission for them to remove their stomach ports (g-tube and g-j tubes) in case they are needed in the future and would like to get a second opinion. Once removed it would require an additional surgery to replace it, so in order to avoid physical trauma, repeat surgeries or possible death permission is not granted. Just weeks after this letter, Dr. Siaw orders for Kaylas nutrition to be restarted through her tube (see exhibit 11.) In addition, Mom asked the hospital if her daughters were involved in any research studies and to respond within 3 days. No response is ever given. Exhibit 10 9-24-14 The foster care Review Board letter reprimanded the case manager and the foster mom for not doing a better job of taking care of Kayla on Hannah due to the excessive weight loss in the system and told them to follow up with the doctors at a sooner time. "The board is concerned about the health and well-being of Kayla and Hannah. The board notes that it appears that appropriate action was not taken in a timely manner when Kayla began losing weight following the doctor's recommendation that Kayla's nutrition no longer be provided through the feeding tube. Additionally it is concerning that Kayla has lost 14 pounds since entering out of home care. Therefore the board recommends the girls Child and Family Team CFT members specifically the foster mom and the case manager ensure any information which presents itself in the future pertaining to the girls health be relayed to the girls medical specialist immediately so that appropriate action can be executed." In addition the Arizona foster care Review Board stated "the agency is not in compliance with submitting its required initial report, progress report, and/or case plan to the foster care Review Board" on behalf of Kayla and Hannah Diegel "the Board makes a determination that there are significant service gaps or system problems." Exhibit 11 9-29-14 Casa/ Lawyer affidavit showing Kayla's extreme weight loss in the system after the removal of the feeding tube nutrition, by the fired GI Dr, (Siaw.) He then ordered the nutrition to be restarted again in August after Kayla suffered 4+ months and lost 14 lbs in the system. Kayla suffered an additional 19 days of neglect, malnutrition and a vitamin deficiency, after it was prescribed for her to start her nutrition again, because the foster mom and case manager did not get the needed supplies for Kayla to start her feeds. Conclusion: After neglect, starvation and forced Malnutrition in state custody from April until September 2014, and efforts to remove feeding tubes by Dr. Siaw he determines they are needed, and orders for Kayla's nutrition to RE-START, however, Kayla suffers and starves an additional 19 days before those doctor's orders are implemented by the foster mom and case manager. Exhibit 12 12-19-14 Phoenix Childrens Hospital Letter refusing to release medical records blames- DCS. Despite 3 minute entries and 2 signed court orders DCS and PCH both refuse to release the medical records of Kayla and Hannah between 4-8-14 to current. Timeline: 3-21-14 Dr. Siaw was fired. 3-26/27-14 Hannah was admitted to the Hospital for a bowel impaction- the contents were coming out of her stomach the wrong way (through her tube) and she was having trouble urinating. 3-38-14 Dr. Siaw comes on shift at the Hospital. 3-29-14 The hospital social worker notes that she is going to contact the CPT (child protective team) on Monday. She has not seen or talked to Hannah or the mother yet? 3-31-14 The nutritionist states Hannah is receiving inadequate nutrition. 3-31-14 Risk management gets involved? The mother never spoke to anyone in the risk management department. 4-1-14 "CPT (child protective team) is notified in light of mothers supposition that medical care has been substandard and not in the best interest of Hannah." 4-2-14 Dr. Beasley states nutrition is "optimal." 4-2-14 CPS hotline is called. Mom is never told there is an open investigation-until 4-8-14 this is against the Parents Bill of Rights 1-602 11. The right to obtain information about a child protective services investigation involving the parent pursuant to section 8-807. 4-2-14 Kayla is admitted to PCH for a bowel impaction after CPS had been called unknown to mom. 4-3-14 The nutritionist restates Hannah is still receiving inadequate nutrition and recommends the calories increase from 1200 to 1800. 4-8-14 Hannah is taken into state custody. 4-10-14 Kayla is taken into state custody. June/ July Judge orders the release of medical records 8-1-14 Mother sends a letter to the hospital asking if the girls are on a drug trial, no response is given; Mom insists the hospital does not remove the girls feeding tube for their safety etc. 8-20-14 Kayla has now lost a total of 14 lbs while being placed in the states custody under the care of Dr. Siaw. 8-20-14 Hannah has lost 9+ lbs in the states care under the care of Dr. Siaw. 8-20-14 Mom tells Kayla to fight for herself, Youtube video is released courts make mom remove it. Visits are stopped. August Kayla is further neglected for 19 days affidavit is produced. August Casa reports the abuse the girls are receiving in care but is then threatened by Lorie Tatum the case manager and the AAG. August/ September Kathleen Martoncik AAG forces the Casa to destroy evidence in front of her. September Casa Lisa Shipp quits after all this pressure. September The state files to terminate Melissa Diegels parental rights before and without a trial. The accusation is the same as the first, Medical Abuse. October Gag order is placed on the mother but nothing is given in writing until January November Kathleen Martoncik AAG has asked the judge to incarcerate mother for speaking out about the case, even though mother complied, however mother grows increasing concerned for her daughter's safety and breaks the gag: Mom has received 3 calls from insurance company about daughters Asthma January Contempt of Court Hearing Mom is not allowed to speak her daughters names- AGG wants mom to pay all AG fees and puts this in motion March Severance Hearing before a trial March/April Trial The Diegel's have a third child (17) who was not taken into custody. He has had genetic health issues as well. The parents have sought appropriate medical treatment through Phoenix Childrens Hospital in the past for the brother and a large non cancerous tumor was removed from his neck at the age of 9 by Dr. David Shafron a pediatric neurosurgeon. The brother also suffers from hearing loss. The parents have appropriately cared for their son as he is a strapping young man at 5"11, 223 lbs. At the end of his sophomore year when his sisters were taken, he still under the stress and pressure, ended the year with a 3.65 grade point average. However his grade point average significantly dropped because of the effect it had on him.) The children love their mother and father and wish to return home. Mother and father love their children and wish for them to return home. The home environment is safe and the children are well cared for there. While under the states care....."The board is concerned about the health and well-being of Kayla and Hannah." A 14 lb weight loss! Exhibit 10 Kayla loves her mom and wrote this song for her. "You Make Me Smile" after being taken into state custody. https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=i4Sz_LN5mR0 In the Visitation Notes dated on 7/16/14 "Ms. Diegel greeted the the girls with a hug and Kayla presented Ms. Diegel with a card she drew. Hannah gave Ms. Diegel two cards. Ms Diegel told Kayla she had Kayla's song playing in her head the previous day. Kayla asked if Ms. Diegel had posted her song on facebook. Kayla asked Ms.Diegel {if she} cried, because Kayla cried . Ms Diegel asked Kayla to repeat what she said. Kayla restated that she cries, almost every day but that is normal. Kayla says she cries because she misses Ms. Diegel, Ms. Diegel responded that she misses the girls as well, everyday." *Please see nursing notes for diagnoses and a description of need of wheelchair, diapers, inhalers etc. *Parents have completed psychological evaluations, counseling and have never missed a visit. Even though the case manager claims otherwise. #MelissaDiegel #KaylaDiegel #HannahDiegel

[bitchapalooza]

Latvia g-tube/button headcanons!

**Just a warning here, this does go pretty in depth with the experience(excluding the bad and very scary stuff I went through). Talking about the medical side of it, which does get a little gritty in detail(in my opinion). If you are easily squeamish, I recommend not reading any further.

Also, I do have some trauma regarding this part of my life, so please be kind about this. I know thats silly to ask but this is essentially my way to finally cope and come to terms with an issue I had frequent panic attacks over just thinking about. This honestly was a little hard to write out, very anxiety inducing. So please, no rude comments, thank you.**

• He was diagnosed with the medical condition Failure to Thrive. He's very underweight and malnutritioned. To help combat it, doctors suggested a gastronomy tube. He reluctantly agreed to it as he was tired of being underweight and often sick because of it. He knew the issue was totally seperate from being a nation so the thought of medical professionals fixing it was a great idea.

• The first several months after the g-tube was put in were really hard for Latvia. He feared he'd pull the tube out in the middle of the night from tossing and turning or something else would go wrong. His anxieties were cleared, however, after consistantly good nights.

• His Kangaroo Pump was easy to figure out on his own. He might have zoned out when the doctor was explaining everything. Well anyway, it wasn't that hard. Fill the feeding bag up with one bottle of formula, turn on the machine and there you have it. The pump takes care of the rest! Well he had to press the right buttons, but still.

• He only pumped at night while he slept, but during the day he ate by mouth. The g-tube was to provide extra nutrition on top of what he ate for his body to grow, gain more weight, and be healthy.

• When off on business trips, especially extended ones, Latvia would bolus feed after each meal with the kind assistance from Lithuania or Ukraine. Sometimes Cuba would help too since he does have extensive medical knowledge and a bit of experience with gastronomy tubes(although, this was with a pediactric patient).

• Bolus feeding is basically pouring the formula into a suringe thats hooked up into the feeding tube(then hooked to the g-tube). Then gravity takes care of the rest! Its a totally different sensation compared to the pump in Latvia's opinion.

• The pump would consistently pump the formula into him, but bolus feeding was very slow depending on how high or low it was held and it often had bubbles appear since there was a opening on top, which did not feel great in his stomach. Bolus feeding caused more stomachaches than pump feeding did so if he happened to go back into meetings after a meal, he'd lay his head down hunched over and try his best to take notes. Germany or whoever else was in charge/presenting understood this and never minded one bit.

• The drainage around the g-tube site was, uh, messy to say the least. He couldn't wear expensive or fancy clothes without having to wear a washable cloth cover or a cut piece of gauze to catch the mess. It was really uncomfortable to put on. He had to raise the button up and put it around the base sticking out of his body. As the tube is connected directly to his stomach, it caused a lot discomfort when moving it around.

• Speaking of moving it around, sometimes nearing when the button had to be replaced, it'd become just loose enough for the whole thing to turn around easily(the balloon would deflate just slightly). Not a fun sensation.

• Replacing the tube was even more unbearable for a while. He couldn't feel it when they deflated the balloon inside, but he could certainly feel it when they took out the button. Inserting the tube was a little less uncomfortable, at least no cold air was touching the hole or air getting trapped inside. Inflating the balloon again was a little uncomfortable, though. After some time, however, he got used to it.

• Latvia did really good taking care of himself and his g-tube. The drainage did get out of hand, which was normal, but it was easy to wash out. Feedings and staying on schedual was easy too.

• Now without his g-tube, he's left with a deep scar that will never heal. Sometimes it hurts around the rim of it and he is at risk of hernias so he has to watch the scale of the pain and feel around the scar tissue for anything off, but other than that, its all fine and dandy.

• To make himself laugh rather than dred the unsightly scar, he calls it his bullet wound or second belly button! He gets a laugh out of his friends.

• The experience was nerve racking at times and scary, but he did gain weight. Even grew a few centimeters taller! His immune system improved too!