#my subconscious was like we have to tell him!! then i woke up sad

[fatalhoon]

my heart hurts i miss renjun so fucking much

[fingertipsmp3]

Now that I think about it last night’s dream really hit a bingo of recurring themes tbh

[gentaro-kinniecom]

Jealous much?

Characters: Solivan Brugmansia/gn!reader

C/w: jealousy, friends to lovers troupe, reader helps Solivan with some bullies, Crowe and his feelings for the reader, Sol takes care of reader <3

A/n: I might make a sequel to this post cause..why not? I have at least 3 more works in progress of tkatb so stay tuned for more >:3. This was SUPPOSED to be more early but with graduation and my summer job its been hectic 😔 (not proofread)

Rain drops fell gently onto the surfaces that it could. The cloudy and cold atmosphere bringing back unwanted memories for me. It took me back to when I was a happy child running around the fields that my family owned. Why did fate had to be this way? I couldn't relish in the sad moment for long, my life had changed, some may think for the better, but in all honesty, I've lost myself in it.

The city life was not for the weak, especially in this society that judges you based on your backgrounds. Hallways and classrooms were empty as I walked by, meaning another day where I would stay behind until the sun rised up, studying in the library. It felt depressing, well, it was. Even with all my friends who share classes with me, I’ve never felt a sense of comfort around anymore. Upon arrival, I sighed gently while scanning my library card, heading towards my favorite spot and to hopefully meet him again: Solivan Brugmansia, the same man who I aided long ago.

Some bullies had cornered him, if it weren’t for me, he could’ve gotten bruised up badly(or so I thought). Sol’s strength was enough to not be messed around with yet, he was always careful with me. His long, black hair with green stripes was noticeable from afar, a smile subconsciously appeared across my features, walking towards him with my books in one arm and a cup of coffee in my hand.

“Hi” I spoke, my voice a mear whisper as he smiled, kissing my cheek while allowing me to sit beside him.

“Hey..thanks for the coffee, I saved your seat in hopes you’d be here” His gaze remained on the hoodie I wore, a purple-ish one with some designs around it, though I could tell something bothered him.

“Aw, that’s real sweet of you Sol..!” Taking the vacant seat by the window, Sol’s eyes returned to the book at hand, analyzing the text while taking a casual sip or two after some pages. I placed my books aside, taking out my computer and working on some last details for an upcoming presentation.

“Is that sweater you’re wearing someone else’s?” The question caught me off guard while Sol closed the book, his attention returning towards me as I continued to type away

“Crowe made me borrow it, he said it would get cold during the night, even if I insisted it was fine” A glint of jealousy made his eyes glimmer with a bit of rage, directed towards Crowe who had the audacity, in Sol’s words, to lend me something of his. After the small talk, we returned to our devices while Sol’s cup inched close to me. Which I thought nothing of it until the, now warm, liquid splashed against Crowe’s hoodie.

“Sol! Ah..what am I going to do now?” My eyes widened as the panic settled in. Pouted lips looking down at the mess that occurred while Sol spoke.

“I can wash it, and hand it over tomorrow..if you don’t mind?” The offer was tempting, and besides, the washing machine at my apartment had broken down. It was like an angel had been sent down from the heavens truly.

“Really? Well, if you’re offering..” With a smile, Sol helped me take the sweater off, folding it and placing it in his backpack. Was he really concerned or jealous by me wearing it? After an hour or so spent in the library, my sleepy eyes gazed over at Sol’s figure that had finished his book a few minutes prior 11:00pm.

His eyes turned to stare at me, as if, he knew I was staring beforehand. The library air making goosebumps arise on my skin as Sol noticed. A small warmth wrapped around my body, making me sigh while laying my hand down onto the table, resting for a bit as he smiled.

It was past noon when I woke up in a different place rather than the library. A soft, warm bed beneath me made contrast to the heavy rain pouring outside, making me groan and stretch my limbs, still remaining in the bed as the door suddenly opened. Solivan stood outside, entering shortly after while smiling, his body beside my own as I wrapped my arms around his waist.

“Mn, how did I get here?” Too tired to even acknowledge the strength he had to take me here, in his home, I was glad he did. The moment didn’t last long as I was now wide awake, staring up at the crimson eyes that gently creased while smiling

“You were tired and..we couldn’t stay at the library for too long, I hope you don’t mind” Room infused by Sol’s cologne made my heart flutter, it seemed he recently got out of the shower. Soft damp hair met my face as I buried it on the crook of his neck. Our actions were far too intimate to call this as “only friends”. Every reasonable thought left me as Sol wrapped an arm around my back, lips caressing my forehead and cheeks while smiling.

“It’s okay, you know I trust you Sol..” More rain could be heard from his room, creating a cozy and cold atmosphere around us. There was no one else I’d rather be with during these moments, so close yet…

“Are you hungry? I made some soup earlier..perfect for this weather, isn’t it?” I nodded, watching as he parted away from my body. Planting a kiss on my neck while walking towards the kitchen. The fresh and soft aroma of the miso soup he prepared made my stomach rumble with hunger

“You always make the best food Sol” Now reachinh the kitchen area, I sat by one of the bar stools, admiring the pink apron he wore. A bowl was later on placed in front of me, its contains making me smile as Sol spoke

“Mn? You really think so?” He asked, grabbing a bowl for himself. Standing in front of me while meeting my gaze, smiling as he enjoyed eating with me.

“Mhm! There’s no one else’s food that I’d enjoy then yours..” A hand was placed on my cheek, staring at Sol who leaned towards me, our lips meeting briefly as he smiled.

“Then..I wouldn’t mind cooking meals for you, my darling.” We shared another short but sweet kiss while smiling. Sol quickly went to wash the dishes, later returning to his bedroom, hand in hand. Warm touches graces my skin as Sol filled my embrace, kissing my face while sighing in peace.

Sequel (coming soon)

[emshiftss]

Dreaming + Shifting

Shifting diary entry #8 !!! (and asking for help again…)

I’ve made posts before about what it means to dream and how that relates to your shifting journey, and here I am doing it again… (also I wish I’ve made more diary entries on here it’s kinda been a while, but I’ve doing A LOT of reflection in my personal shifting journal, maybe I’ll make some of them posts…?)

My whole life I’ve been a dreamer, before I even learned of shifting I lucid dreamt quite often. I would use dreaming as an escape from my life here. My dreams are often intense and vivid.

And they definitely were last night, I had so many dreams it was crazy. But to parts in particular stood out to me that made me want to make this post.

It was later in the night, I originally thought to lucid dream and shift that way instead of doing an awake method (because of something that happened earlier in the night that I’ll get to later)

I think I just forgot that I wanted to that and I didn’t end up saying affirmations as I went to sleep to help guide me into a lucid dream, instead I thought of my DR. And … I ended up having VERY vivid dream of my DR s/o. Like I don’t think I’ve had a more vivid dream related to my current DR.

(I don’t remember what was going on before this) I opened the door in the room I was in and there leaning on the wall was my s/o. Again so vivid so much more detail in this dream. I remember thinking that I felt my stomach drop when I saw him there 😭 I also thought “omg he’s so tall I need to script he’s not this tall” ??? Anyways I think we talked but I can’t remember, I just remember kissing him and us cuddling. I remember sitting in front of him with his arms around me. I think someone else from my DR interrupted us bc we had some place to go, and my sister from this reality did the same?

I remember feeling really sad when I woke up, but I just tried to feel better by reminding myself I can just be there for real 😭

Now for the part I REALLY wanted to talk about. The part that, if anyone reading can help me analyze, I would much appreciate it.

I was gonna do an awake method last night but decide I should sleep for a couple hours then do it. So I set the intention to wake up at like 4, I woke up at like 4 30 but I was waking up before this but just kept going back to sleep and anxiously waking up lol. Anyways I woke up and put on a guided meditation and went for it, but then a couple minutes in I just randomly remember this part of my dream that made me stop my meditation.

I can’t fully remember what was going on before this, but I was in some sort of library/book store and this lady asks me to tell her a cool fact. (?)I panicked and couldn’t think of anything. I can’t remember what happened between this moment and the next but it eventually led to us talking about shifting. She told me she’s an avid shifter, she’s been shifting since 2020. And she told me she’s 24 years old? I don’t know who this woman was, she’s certainly not anyone in my life and not like some shifting “influencer” I like or something? I remember her giving me shifting advice but I just can’t seem to remember what it was!?!? 😭 I remember her comforting me, and telling me stuff along the lines of “don’t worry it is inevitable that you will shift” though. Ugh, I wish I could remember. But this is why I decided to try and lucid dream instead.

But if anyone reading this wants to feel free to analyze this for me, idk what this means for me or my journey. If my subconscious mind keeps saying and doing stuff like this, why haven’t I shifted? What does this even mean for me?

I’ve had similar experiences in dreams, like this one time a couple weeks ago I was dreaming of Star Wars (odd bc I’ve never seen the movies) and I met two guys and I explained shifting to them and they were very curious about it. And I even remember thinking in that dream “should I tell them I shifted here?” (???)

Anyways I feel (slightly) sick to my stomach about the vivid dream I had of my s/o and idk what my other part means…

[yaoioioay]

Hello!! Thanks for this blog of yours....I don't know if you've answered this or not but who are your top 10 favorite ships ever (can be canon or non canon) from any media? Why love them? Thanks 🌻

Yes I did answer a similar question, here!

But these are my TOP 10 (top 20 actually) ships, with a few additions:

1. Jiuhuo. Qin Jiu x You Huo (Global Examination)

“That’s why they say that love and hate are very mysterious things. Some have already rotted away. Others are engraved into the bone.”

“I'm not here to save you, I'm here to love you” - Qin Jiu

In it was his past, his beliefs, and his love.All of that made up a complete Qin Jiu.My dear, if I left myself by your ear, would you be able to hear me?May we meet again in a world where the smoke is gone.

WHEN THE COLD EXAMINEE ENCOUNTERS THE TWO-FACED EXAMINER…

AMNESIAC VERSUS AMNESIAC — WHO WILL EVOKE THEIR ERASED MEMORIES?

TWO PEOPLE WITH OPPOSING IDENTITIES CAN ALSO BECOME COMRADES.

WHEN KING MEETS KING, THE FINAL RESULT IS NOT MUTUAL DESTRUCTION— IT IS ONLY ‘YOU ARE STRONG, BUT I AM STRONGER.’ JOIN FORCES TO DESTROY THE EXAMINATION GROUNDS.

First meeting... ...Or a reunion?

GIN AGAIN WITHOUT A

EXAMINEES AND EXAMINERS ARE FORBIDDEN FROM DEVELOPING IMPROPER RELATIONSHIPS.

❁✿✿❁

Can you fall in love with the same person for 3 times? YES YOU CAN‼️

Some things are just unforgettable, no matter how many times they erase your memory or try to keep you apart or convince you he’s your enemy.

Enemies to lovers to enemies to lovers to enemies to friends to lovers.

It’s so fascinating watching the slow burn of the present while uncovering the relationship of the past and how they still subconsciously feel the same.

Gin always wearing his scarf not because he’s cold but because he wanted to hide his blood and injury from his beloved. You immediately rejecting taking off his earring even if he doesn’t know why.

Also complete equals, two super badass smart genius arsonists. And even when they try to keep things from each other, it’s really funny how the other always knows or really sad because of the terrible things that they went through for each other.

The flirting and teasing and the… unique gift they give XD

PS. Lyrics that I think describe them perfectly:

'Cause time wasn't in our favor

This isn't "goodbye," this is simply "see you later"

PPS. First both of them, then You, then Qin:

I've tried to leave it all behind me

But I woke up and there they were beside me

And I don't believe it but I guess it's true

Some feelings, they can travel too

You're always on my mind

And I never minded being on my own

Then something broke in me and I wanted to go home

To be where you are

But even closer to you, you seem so very far

And now I'm reaching out with every note I sing

And I hope it gets to you on some pacific wind

Wraps itself around you and whispers in your ear

Tells you that I miss you and I wish that you were here

2. Soukoku. Dazai x Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs)

Adam – "Master Chuuya and Dazai stood side by side. There was something surprisingly perfect about it. Two young men with completely different personalities..."

Dazai – Chuuya’s gonna kill N at this rate and lose his humanity, but I want to see him suffer as a human. That’s why I have to stop him.

Verlaine – “You sound like you’re certain he’s human.”

Dazai – “I am. There’s no way I could hate a man-made character this much.”

“Even Dazai had forgotten to breathe as he watched the storm that was Chuuya decimate the battlefield.”

The corruption in Chuuya’s body had already disappeared. Dazai had nullified it. He placed a hand on Chuuya’s cheek where it had been punched and smirked slightly. “So this is how you wake Snow White? Kinda violent, don’t you think?”

Dazai – “Did you use Corruption because you believed in me? You’re gonna make me cry…”

Dazai – Leave it to me, partner.

❁✿✿❁

Might seem toxic or unbalanced until you realise how much power Chuuya possesses and how smart he actually when not compared to the three smartest masterminds of the series. Also they always care and protect each other, would die and kill for the other a thousand time over.

Dazai first wish to live came from fighting with Chuuya, he manipulated him into joining the mafia, his enemy.

He left him behind when his basically brother died and joined the ‘good’ side, but I think he just didn’t want to tear him apart from his newfound family for a second time.

PS. Fyolai. Fyodor x Gogol

Dos-kun and I exchanged a few words…and yet…the moment I met him…I knew that my life had become something entirely different. It’s just as he said…I had begun fighting in order to lose myself. And now…Look what’s happened. (Nikolai clutches Fyodor’s severed arm) Now all I want…is just…

— Nikolai

❁✿✿❁

The demon and his clown. Do you ever want to kill your one and only best to prove you have free will? No?? Then you are completely normal and not an absolute freak.

Do you then involve your colleagues, your enemy and actual strangers in your death games?

In the end are you sincerely sad when your friend dies and hug his dismembered arm?

3. Kurofai. Kurogane x Fai (Tsubasa Reservor Chronicle)

“There is no such thing as a coincidence in this world, there is only the inevitable.”

And really isn’t this the best way to describe them and Sakura & Syaoran coming together at the wish shop?

Caring stoic badass ninja papa and mischievous lying secretive overpowered mage mama. And their tree children.

Kuro can see through his lies, and tries to keep his distance but ultimately can’t help but get closer, overprotective of his makeshift family, will fight anyone for them (would actually kill them if he wasn’t cursed’). And in the end even though he reached his goal to come home to his princess, decides to continue travelling and stay with them.

Fai is a man with a secret past and a plan that he has to follow, tries to hide behind a cheerful mask, but in the end couldn’t help but actually care for his new children and respect and admire Kuro for all that he is.

Yama, where they spent 6 month together, alone without the kids, in a country where Fai couldn’t speak to anyone and Kuro could barely communicate… something mush have happened.

Also when the only way to save Fai was to turn him into a vampire, even when he explicitly said that it would be better for him to die so the magic that was stolen from him would disappear. But Kuro couldn’t accept that, and than has to live with the consequences. He is the only one Fai can feed from and Fai has stopped teasing him with all the nicknames and barely even talks or looks at him.

4. Wriolette. Neuvillette x Wriothesley (Genshin Impact)

“Wriothesley is a trustworthy man. I fought hard for the title and reputation he now has. I expect you to think that I've simply been duped by his flattery and appearance of loyalty... But to that, I would quote the Inazuman proverb: ‘The words unspoken are the flower.’ Which means, some things are best left unsaid.”

Wriothesley... He's a very... shrewd fellow. He is the highest ranking manager of the underwater prison. Even though you are going there to investigate at my behest, it would behoove you to avoid any confrontation with him or any of his subordinates. The Duke rarely ever leaves the Fortress of Meropide, but that does not mean he is not privy to all that's happening inside and outside the fortress. He is "quiet," but not "unaware," so please bear that in mind.

Wriothesley: Haha, the way you're asking after her wellbeing makes you sound like a concerned parent.

Neuvillette: Ah, well, I won't lie... I've always seen myself that way.

Wriothesley: Showing your age a bit there, don't you think...

Neuvillette: Indeed. Actually, I often forget just how much older I am than you...

Wriothesley: Well, while we're on the topic... What did you do before getting this job, anyway? Spend all day swimming in the sea, from east to west, then south to north?

Neuvillette: Yes, and uh... from the surface to the ocean floor, on occasion.

Wriothesley: Wow. Impressive.

Neuvillette: ...Apologies, that was merely an attempt at humor. You can disregard what I said.

Wriothesley: Hah, that's impossible, I'm afraid. My imagination's already running wild.

❁✿✿❁

Your Honor & Your Grace. The Iudex, ultimate judge of all of Fontaine & the Duke, warden of Meropide. Ancient dragon sovereign & ruler of the underworld.

Neuvillette has been alive for more the 500 years and has always fulfilled his duty of judge perfectly, that has forced him to keep a certain distance from everyone in order to be impartial… but he considers Wriothesley his one personal connection.

They tease each other, banter, give gift and spend time together whenever they

Wriothesley, former criminal, actually judged by Neuvi and sent to the prison, actually decided to organise it in something better, less chaotic and bloody and cruel. Rose his way to the top with strength and charisma and was actually recognised as the new leader. Wary of trusting others due to his parent who trafficked all his adoptive siblings and him too if he wouldn’t have killed them… trusts Neuvi unconditionally.

PS. Kavetham. Alhaitham x Kaveh

And they were roommates. But also the caring and understanding. Married couple vibes with the banter to go with it.

5. Sherliam. Sherlock x William (Moriarty the Patriot)

“Catch me if you can, Mr. Holmes.”

“Finally… I’ve caught you now, Liam.”

I want you to keep the fire in my heart ablaze.

—William

❁✿✿❁

Sherliam: detective and criminal love story. Is it gay to jump off a bridge and hug your bestie/supposed enemy and save him from death, then spend two years living together aboard while your friends and family think you’re dead?

Their nicknames for each other, Will & Sheryl <3

Really the only ones who can keep up with the other, you distract me from my plan & you make my boredom disappear.

PS. Alcroft. Mycroft x Albert

TO ME, WHO WAS IN THAT DEEP DARKNESS, YOU WERE THAT SINGLE RAY OF BRIGHT LIGHT.

❁✿✿❁

Alcroft: workplace relationships with a lot of tension and subtle flirting.

The brothers with the actual power, physical, skills, political, influence, cunning.

Is it gay to send letters through pigeon messenger to your colleague who is imprisoned in a tower?

He confessed to being one of the worst criminal in your country’s history, the country you swore to protect, and the criminal who blackmailed you into keeping quiet about his plan but who you still came to care about and agree with his plan and prevented him being sentenced to death.

6. Ivantill. Ivan x Till (Alien Stage)

What is love for two people who have no idea what that word even means? How can two humans who have been raised by aliens in cruelty and conditional love, ever know how to express their emotions?

When you (Ivan) notice how passionate and rebellious he (Till) is, but he only notices you in his periphery or when you fight and tease him.

When you can only watch as he is beaten and punished again and again, only able to give him temporary relief by freeing him from his collar, when he is barely aware of you but you continue to support him in silence.

When you both tried running away, he let go of your hand to go back for his friends, what can you do other than continue to adore him? Because that is who he is and the one you admire. (Mr. Shallow emotions my butt)

The only way you know how to express your affections? Silent devotion, violence and sacrifice… ROUND 6 in a nutshell.

When she (Mizi) is like a gentle warm light that attracts you like moths to a flame, so blinding in her pureness, so you can’t look at her directly.

When he is the shadow that always trails after you, clings to you and can’t help but notice distractedly every time, until it becomes solid in front of you.

Pulling pigtails taken too far. Toxic doomed yaoi supreme kings.

❁✿✿❁

BLACK SORROW:

I can’t reach you, so I imagine alone

You who shines, I stand next to you

To me, you are my

Black sorrow

CURE:

Dissolve me in your gaze

I don't want to let you go

Please, leave me scars

Please, hurt me so that

Not a single drop of me remains

Let me drown in you

Until these falling stars

Are buried in the blur of time

On your icy lips

Read my soul

Even if your cold words

Carve scars beneath my eyes

May they linger on your tongue

You can break me apart

Notice my pain

And mend me right now

To quiet my fears

I'll drown in you

Sick of these nights to come

To be engulfed in silence

In your gaze where I'm seen

Consume me

PS. Mizisua. Sua x Mizi, unconditional love.

❁✿✿❁

MY CLEMATIS:

From the moment humanity left the universe, we all forgot God.

But if belief in god is human

If all I can do as a human is to believe...

My god

My universe

Hope bloomed through the abyss

Oh, my Clematis

Always be by my side

7. Sefikura. Sephiroth x Cloud (Final Fantasy VII)

“He had made his decision. Cloud would become the nucleus. He yearned to tell Cloud this.”

— Sephiroth

“So long as Cloud remembers me, I will always exist. Within the Lifestream or on the surface.”

— Sephiroth

“Once I have Mother's power, I will exist fully in the living world. It will not be long now. Even if I am incomplete, it will matter not. Cloud will be there. Cloud will complete me.”

— Sephiroth

“For you are but a puppet—my puppet.”

— Sephiroth

“Cloud, lend me your strength. Let us defy destiny together.”

— Sephiroth

“I am your everything.”

— Sephiroth

“Good, Cloud. Very good. Hold on to that hatred.”

— Sephiroth

“Careful now. That which lies ahead...does not yet exist. Our world will become a part of it... one day. But I... will not end. Nor will I have you end.”

— Sephiroth

Cloud – “Stay where you belong, in my memories.”

Sephiroth – “I will never be a memory.”

❁✿✿❁

ARCHENEMIES. The UST, why is it so intense every time they look, fight or are even near each other? Why are they always standing so close, why is Sephy always whispering in his ear?

Started as complete strangers who had nothing to do with each other, Cloud admired him, but was forced to kill him after he went crazy and burned down his whole village. Sephy was caught by surprise and intrigued by that. When he came back he became obsessed.

The mind-fuckery, puppet comparison, domineering aura, them stabbing and killing each other more than once.

Extremely toxic, not yet doomed yaoi. Because seriously how many time are they going to come back? Until one is alive, the other one will be too.

8. Solangelo. Will x Nico (Percy Jackson series)

"Nico," I said at last, "shouldn't you be sitting at the Hades table?" (Apollo)

He shrugged. "Technically, yes. But if I sit alone at my table, strange things happen. Cracks open in the floor. Zombies crawl out and start roaming around. It's a mood disorder. I can't control it. That's what I told Chiron."

"And is it true?" | asked.

Nico smiled thinly. "I have a note from my doctor."

Will raised his hand. "I'm his doctor."

"Chiron decided it wasn't worth arguing about," Nico said. "As long as I sit at a table with other people, like...oh, these guys for instance...the zombies stay away. Everybody's happier."

Will nodded serenely. "It's the strangest thing. Not that Nico would ever misuse his powers to get what he wants."

"Of course not," Nico agreed.

Will turned to me. "I apologize for my boyfriend."

Nico rolled his eyes. "Could you not—"

"Would you prefer special guy?" Will asked. "Or significant other?"

"Significant annoyance, in your case," Nico grumbled.

Will and Nico sat shoulder to shoulder, bantering good-naturedly. They were so cute together it made me feel desolate.

"Then, if he has to go... we'll go together."

“But with Nico … It’s hard, Persephone. I want the best for him, and he seems to disappear into his darkness, like he’s hiding in a place where he doesn’t want my light.’

‘Then why not offer him your darkness?”

“Will had kissed Nico for the first time in a moment of impulsiveness, something Nico didn’t know Will had in him. The kiss had been just like this one, short and sweet.

Then Will had pulled away, worry on his face, an apology tumbling from his lips.

Nico had stopped him. Then kissed him back.

In a moment so full of grief and rage and sadness, Will had given him… Light.”

Nico fought against the darkness, against the fear and the cold that wanted to paralyze him. Turning his head took every bit of his energy, but he put his mouth next to Will's ear, took a measured breath, and then said the words he hoped Will would hear.

Three words. A promise of hope. The words tingled in Will's ear. They ignited his heart.

"I love you." And they fell.

“You are the ghost king”, a voice said. I am, Nico thought.

“This is where you belong.”

But then Nico raised his head. Looked at the other passenger. Will, whose face was strained as he reached down with a shaking hand to grab at him.

Nico took it, gripped his boyfriend’s hand tight, and thought, “No. This is where I belong.”

“I remember when I realized … when I knew that this was more than a friendship.’

That made Nico smile despite himself. ‘I remember my moment, too.’

Will’s eyes filled with tears. ‘I think mine is different than yours.’

‘But I know mine happened first,’ Nico said.

‘You were sad? But … did we even know each other then?’

‘Maybe not as close friends or anything, but … but I was drawn to you.”

❁✿✿❁

Just this. Light and shadow, the sun and the star. A journey about learning to love yourself and overcoming your grief and fears. About how you’re the only one who can save yourself but it’s so much easier and comforting with someone else beside you. The teasing and bickering 🥺

9. Fizzozzie. Asmodeus x Fizzarolli (Helluva Boss)

"Fizz, Mammon didn't do shit. You already were this. You'd be this no matter what! You are the most inspiring demon I have ever known and meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me. I adore your inventiveness, your attitude, your resilience. And you're just the cutest little thing alive! Also, you are a waaaaay better performer than Mammon ever was, and thaaat's just facts."

― Asmodeus

❁✿✿❁

Love can overcome races, classes and other obstacles. You may have been through unbearable pain and suffering but it is all inconsequential if you have someone who loves you and respects you at your side.

One of the cutest, fluffiest, most wholesome and precious couples ever.

10. Greed pair. Lawless x Licht (Servamp)

Vampire + Servant, can only drink blood from the one he made a contract with, who gave him a name and gift) & his Eve. Jekyll (Licht Jekylland Todoroki) & Hyde (Servamp of Greed, Lawless, One and Only). Delusional angel & stupid hedgehog.

A story about overcoming the past, grief, moving forward in the present and keep on fighting in order to not have any regrets.

They may be willing to bicker constantly and fight and toy with each other, but Licht was the one who changed him, who made him fight and realise the meaning of greed, who showed him his brilliance and talent and taught him how life has meaning and we are not only listless actors who complete our boring roles till we die.

Licht went from one of his numerous Eves, whose he wold have killed once he became bored, to one of his most important and meaningful connections, the one who helped reconcile him with his family and taught him to love again.

Them co-parenting their game cat! Hyde being jealous of his brother, when Licht plays with and pets him in his cat form.

This couple: Would you jump out of a window if your friend did? Absolutely, without hesitation.

Hyde is the best hypeman, clown, cheerleader. Also the faith he has in Licht’s natural instincts and fighting ability, really would you give a complete amateur a gun when you literally can’t afford to waste even a bullet? Well Licht doesn’t disappoint and succeeds on his first try.

11. Ryusae. Shidou x Sae (Blue Lock)

“I want your ego. Go wild for my sake.”

— Sae

“...Itoshi Sae chose not any of you here, but Shidou Ryusei instead.”

— Ego

“Shidou Ryusei, who even Blue Lock couldn't rein in... We'll finally find out the reason why he was picked... We'll be able to see 'The Egoist Desired by Itoshi Sae.'”

— Ego

“While Blue Lock was unable to handle Shidou, he managed to grasp Shidou's vision and answered in kind with a flawless pass... I'm sure those two are are only just getting started-”

— Isagi

Looks like those two... Are a match made in heaven.

— Aiku

Sae – “There you go, my little demon.”

Shidou – “I love it when you're rough ♪”

Sae – “The time to dream is now, demon. Fall under my spell.”

Shidou – “My, oh my... Am I Cinderella now? I’m falling in love ♪”

Shidou – “I like you ♪ Give me your number later!”

Sae – “I'll consider it if you score a hat trick.”

Shidou – “I'll hold you to that!!”

“Hey Itoshi Sae, that was a nice pass. Playing football with ya is pretty damn fun.”

— Shidou

Shidou – “I did it, Itoshi Sae! I wanna play football with you forever!! With you, I feel a sensation I've never felt before!!”

Sae – “Gross. You have to get that hat trick, remember? Then you'd get my number. Hands off until then, you horny demon.”

Shidou – “Heheh, alright ♪ And If I score ten more goals, I move in with you, got it?!”

❁✿✿❁

👀🤨. Literally the definition of find someone who matches your freak.

PS. Reonagi. Reo x Nagi

“Nagi is the treasure that I found. And in this match… I'll steal him back!”

❁✿✿❁

Is it gay to call someone your treasure, cater to his every whim, baby and spoil him constantly, basically becoming his sugar daddy?

Also the break up and drama during the second selection -_-

Reo literally playing loves-me-loves-me-not with his toothbrush.

Nagi starting his evolution because of the face Reo made when he realised they were gonna lose.

And in the end relying on him to make his ultimate super play.

CONS: Too codependent. Need time and space to grow separately.

12. Shuake. Akechi x Akira Kurusu / Ren Amamiya / Joker (Persona 5)

"You don't allow yourself to be enslaved by such things as human relations or past selves... And so, your heart is always free. The exact opposite of mine. To be honest, I'm envious... I wonder why we couldn't have met a few years earlier.”

“All you have to do is stick to your guns and challenge Maruki. Or are you really so spineless that you’d fold over some bullshit, trivial threat over my life?”

“I will carve my own path for myself… I refuse to accept a reality concocted by someone else, stuck under their control for the rest of my days.

“I will never accept this form of reality. I’m done being manipulated. Let’s go back… to our true reality."

"Hey Joker, instead of dying, how about we crush them together!?"

"Joker, if you die now, I... I'll kill you again myself!"

"Joker's enraged? I kind of like it, but that’s not you! Calm down!"

❁✿✿❁

Essentially the see you in hell pair. RIVALS.

The I wish we had met sooner, you would’ve changed my life completely.

The coffee dates, them playing darts, Akechi giving his glove to MC.

Is it gay to give up on the real world, love in a fantasy created by your school counsellor in order to fulfil your wishes and play chess with your dead rival together 💀

Tragic doomed yaoi former reigning champions.

13. Joongdok. Yoo Joonghyuk x Kim Dokja (Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint)

“I am Yoo Jonghyuk.” The coldest and loneliest voice in the world. The sleeping prince had finally woken up from his deep sleep. “And you shall die here.”

“Make me your companion. I can fill in the parts you are missing.”

— Kim Dokja

Gong Pildu – “What is your relationship with Yoo Joonghyuk?”

Kim Dokja – “We are companions separated by life and death.”

「 Incarnation Kim Dokja will be killed by the person he loves most. 」

“Tell me you fool, if I continue to regress will I ever meet you again?”

"Oppa looks happy when talking about that Ahjussi"

"That jerk, he was cute at that time"

"You are acting like a wife"

❁✿✿❁

Kim Dokja was a big fan of Yoo Joonghyuk. He liked, hated, cheered Yoo Joonghyuk on every day for years while he read his favourite novel.

It helped him going through school, bullying, his job, in general. It was his way of surviving. He know his better than anyone else, even himself.

And meeting him in real life might be different than what he imagined, but he still would give everything for him.

Is it gays to die and regress more than a thousand times, go through space and time just to meet your ‘companion’?

14. Destiel. Castiel x Dean (Supernatural)

Dean – “Who are you?”

Castiel – “I'm the one that gripped you tight and raised you from perdition.”

Dean – Right. And why would an angel rescue me from Hell?

Castiel – Good things do happen, Dean.

Dean – Not in my experience.

Castiel – What's the matter? You don't think you deserve to be saved.

Dean – Don't normally see you off leash. Where's your boss?

Uriel – “Castiel? Oh he's, he's not here. You see he has this weakness, he likes you.”

Dean – You made an exception for me.

Castiel – You’re different.

Castiel – “I'm hunted, I rebelled, and I did all of it for you.”

We gave you our trust. Don't lose it over one man.

“When Castiel first laid a hand on you in hell he was lost!”

Dean – “What about Cas?”

Lucifer – “Oh, don't worry. Your pet's safety is my highest concern. Trust me, he's on board.”

Dean – You got to look at me, man. You got to level with me and tell me what's going on. Look me in the eye and tell me you're not working with him... You son of a bitch.

Castiel – Let me explain.

Dean – You're in it with him? This whole time.

Castiel – I did it to protect you.

Castiel – I won't hurt Dean.

Dean – Yes. You will. You are.

And the Angel tablet... arguably the most powerful instrument in the history of the universe... is in pieces, and for what again? Oh, that's right... to save Dean Winchester. That was your goal, right? I mean, you draped yourself in the flag of heaven, but ultimately, it was all about saving one human, right? Well, guess what. He's dead, too.

Castiel – I'm not good luck, Dean.

Dean – Yeah, but you know what? Sorry, but I'd rather have you. Cursed or not. And anyway, we're All cursed. I seem like good luck to you?

Castiel – “I know. I know how you see yourself, Dean. You see yourself the same way our enemies see you. You're destructive, and you're angry, and you're broken. You're “daddy's blunt instrument.” And you think that hate and anger, that's... That's what drives you, that's who you are. It's not. And everyone who knows you see it. Everything you have ever done, the good and the bad, you have done for love. You raised your little brother for love. You fought for this whole world for love. That is who you are. You're the most caring man on Earth. You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know. (he smiles, crying now) You know, ever since we met, ever since I pulled you out of Hell... Knowing you has changed me. Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you. I cared about Sam, I cared about Jack... I cared about the whole world because of you. (sad laugh as a tear rolls down his cheek) You changed me, Dean.”

Dean – “Why does this sound like a goodbye?”

Castiel – “Because it is. I love you.”

Dean – “Don't do this Cas.”

Castiel – “Goodbye, Dean.”

Wha- what's Destiel?

You know, Dean-slash-Castiel. I mean, it's all subtext, but you can't spell subtext without S-E-X.

Dean – “Cas, not for nothing, but the last time someone looked at me like that...I got laid.”

Sam – So what, you like him better, or something?

Castiel – “Dean and I do share a more profound bond... I wasn't going to mention it.”

Balthazar – “Sorry, you have me confused with the other angel. You know, the one in the dirty trench coat who's in love with you.”

Crowley – “...the stench of that impala's all over your overcoat, angel.”

❁✿✿❁

THE hunter and his guardian angel.

15. Karashuu. Asano x Karma (Assassination Classroom)

Akabane – “Just come at us like you want to kill us. That's what makes it fun.”

Gakushuu – “How amusing. Then I'll fight with my gloves off too.”

❁✿✿❁

Academic rivals. The prodigy & the genius. The only ones on their level. Both competitive, manipulative, scheming and prideful. Asano is more serious, technical and by the book. Karma is rebellious, mischievous and spontaneous. Very hardworking when they put their minds to it.

New Year’s birthday vs Christmas birthday.

Is it gay to choose the same high school as your rival because otherwise you’d get bored in no time with the lack of any real competition.

16. Lugna. Magna Luck (Black Clover)

“The ones who are going to fight in the finals aren't you and that Yuno guy! It's going to be me and Luck!”

— Magna

“I don't care if you're an elf or not. I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to that idiot... So you can hurry up and get the hell out of that body, dumbass!”

— Magna

“Why? He's obviously trying to hide his embarrassment, you virgin delinquent. Look at you, hugging him like that!”

— Vanessa

“You're not going to leave me behind, d'ya understand me? If you get ten times stronger, then I will too. You might get a step ahead but you'll never outdo me. I hope you're okay with that.”

— Magna

❁✿✿❁

Best friends & rivals. The pulling pigtails kind of couple. Luck is always pranking, teasing, goading into a fight, bothering and annoying Magna; who tolerates and even plays along.

Magna does not want to get left behind, no matter how strong Luck gets, he will do everything in his power to keeps up!

They understand, respect and care about the other more than anyone else. When Luck is possessed by an elf, Magna manages to catch him off guard stating that the real one would’ve been able to predict what he was doing.

When the elf has him by the neck, Luck begins to cry.

Their hug afterwards made me feel things <3

17. Hoshinaru. Hoshina x Narumi (Kaiju #8)

Boyfailure yet still badass, monster in human skin, the strongest captain Gen Narumi & trickster teasing never-give-up vice-captain Hoshina.

Rivals divisions, Naru is still salty from when Hoshi rejected him XD

Still silently acknowledge each other’s skill and capabilities, Naru was one of the first people who saw something in Hoshi, he was also the only one opponent Hoshi never wanted to face in a serious battle.

18. 6918. Mukuro x Hibari (Katekyo Hitman Reborn)

“This body can’t be used anymore. He could actually fight in this condition, what a frightening man, Hibari Kyoya.” Mukuro

Reborn: “Do not take this one lightly, Mukuro. He’s growing stronger than you think.”

Mukuro: “I see. That’s how it’s is, then. If he wasn’t injured the outcome of our duel might be questionable.”

“Come, kneel before me once again.” Mukuro.

Reborn: “What about the other one? Tsuna’s Mist Guardian?”

Chikusa: “That person went to see Hibari Kyoya.”

“It’s been a long time. You’ve become stronger again, it seems.” Mukuro

Hibari: “I’ve considered biting you to death, but it wouldn’t be much of a competition fighting against someone who has exhausted his energy to this extent.”

Mukuro: “Hibari Kyoya. I’ll be your opponent anytime.”

Hibari: “Your reaction time has slowed down. Even if we battle now, it won’t be very interesting.”

Mukuro: “Thanks for being so straightforward. In that case, I’ll gladly accept your offer and excuse myself to rest.”

Daemon: “Continuing this fight is pointless. It’s clear who will be the winner.”

Mukuro: “You evidently don’t know Hibari Kyoya. His real power comes out when he’s cornered.”

Mukuro: “I didn’t think I’d be left here with you, Hibari Kyoya.”

Hibari: “Don’t worry, I won’t help you at all.”

“Mukuro and Hibari seem to be on bad terms, but they’re actually totally in sync.” Reborn

❁✿✿❁

Kinda obsessed enemies. Mukuro was the first one to ever defeat and humiliate Hibari. He swore to get his revenge someday, and whenever they meet they have a confrontation even if it never ends in a serious fight because of various reasons.

Mukuro knows firsthand how strong and capable Hibari is and is always acknowledging progress.

The ‘don’t get defeated by anyone other than me’ copule.

PS. 8059. Yamamoto x Gokudera

Friendly rivalry. Always bickering and disagreeing, each other’s support and growing together. The trust they have in each other, always ready to defend one another.

Black-haired instinctual chill jock, rainy blue & white-haired rational hothead nerd, stormy red.

19. Ginran. Gin x Rangiku (Bleach)

“Gin! Where are you, Gin?”

“I’ve made up my mind. I’m gonna become a Soul Reaper and change things. So you… won’t have to cry anymore.”

Rangiku… I couldn’t do it. In the end I couldn’t take back what he took from you. Oh… I’m so glad I got to tell you I was sorry.

"That bad habit you had of always disappearing without telling me where you are going...still hasn't changed."

They’re all moving forward. I should be too.

You’re gone, but you didn’t leave anything to remember you by. I never liked that about you.

But, if you had left something behind, I probably wouldn’t have been able to move on.

You probably knew that about me. Thanks, Gin. I always liked that about you.

(Upon being asked when her birthday is by Gin Ichimaru) "I don't know, I never really counted days until I met you."

I’m a snake.

My skin is cold:

I have no heart. I slither around seeking

prey with my tongue.

I swallow my favorites whole.

- Gin

If you became a snake tomorrow

And began devouring people,

If you roared your love for me.

With that mouth you use to devour people

Could I still say that I love you

As I do today?

→ Gin

"Those who do not know what love is

liken it to beauty.

Those who claim to know what love is

liken it to ugliness."

- Gin

"It is not terrifying

to know sorrow.

Terrifying is to know

you can't go back

to happiness you could have."

- Rangiku

❁✿✿❁

When you (Gin) always loved and looked out for her (Rangiku), you wanted to protect her and never make her sad. But you also always leave her behind and in the dark, always hiding things from her, trying to do everything yourself.

20. Gale/Gajevy. Gajeel x Levy (Fairy Tail)

Gajeel – It's hard looking for someone so small. So don't leave my side!”

Levy – “I'm not going anywhere...”

Gajeel – “You idiot! You've got to get far away from here!..."

Levy – “Don't you ever say you're looking for a place to die!!”

Gajeel – “That...? That was just, you know...banter! I didn't mean it! Don't be mad!!”

Levy – “I don't want you to die...I want you to keep living, Gajeel... ”

Gajeel – “I'm always the last!! It's so frustrating! So pathetic! But you know... To hell with all that! None of it matters as long as I can protect the girl I love!!!!”

Gajeel – “I really did... want to walk with you... side by side... forever…

After everything I've faced… Having a future with you snatched away from me… Is definitely the most terrifying thing I've ever had to endure. ”

❁✿✿❁

Enemy to friend to lover! He hurt her greatly, then tried to atone and look out and protect her. Slow burn, from respect and interest to full blown love. He is intrigued by how she’s so small but so fierce and smart and helpful, she by how he always cares so much and how he’s growing as a person.

The underwater air kiss!! Also Gajeel tasking his partner Lily to protect her, and him, basically an orphan criminal kid with nothing to his name, being able to imagine and want a future and family with her <3

+ COOKING

0. Aiden x Ashlyn (School Bus Graveyard)

Crazy new kid x introverted antisocial girl. Aiden is so clingy & Ash is still learning how to care about others.

0. Tian Lang x Yao Guang (The Evil Ring)

Literally the ‘I’d let the world burn for you’ couple. Tian would die and kill for him.

PS. Liu Zichuan x Shan Yue

I will protect you, your life is my responsibility now & I need to get stronger, learning to love again.

[d1xonss]

Desert Rose

Chapter 59 ~ The Priest

✧ Pairing : Daryl Dixon x Rose

✧ Era : Season 5

✧ Word Count : 5.9k

In this chapter ~ When the group continues to move with no real destination in mind, they're suddenly thrown off course as shouts for help could be heard in the distance. It turns out it was some kind of pastor, offering his church as sanctuary for those who saved him from the clutches of evil. Though it was no secret that a few members didn't trust his intentions.

AN ~ It's officially been a year since I started writing this story and uploading it to wattpad. And though I started posting chapters here a few months later, I still just wanted to say thank you for all the love and support! It truly means the world to me, and I can't wait for you guys to read what else I have planned for the many chapters to come:))

We all woke up fairly early the next morning, merely minutes after the sun began to rise to keep on moving. Rick made it very clear that he wanted us as far away from Terminus as possible, though he didn't really have a clear destination in mind. It gave me that same familiar feeling of when we lost the farm, not knowing where to turn to next or where to go when there weren't many options to begin with.

Subconsciously I think we all wanted to find a safe place we could build up again like the prison, although that was a long shot. But the truth was, I didn't really care if we had a plan or not. I hadn't felt this positive in a very long time, and to me it didn't matter where we were going, as long as we all stayed together.

We all formed some kind of line as we walked towards who knows where, leaving me next to Carl as we talked casually while he held Judith in his arms. Our conversation was hushed, unheard from the people walking a little ways ahead of us as we smiled and laughed quietly together for the first time in a while. I ravished in the feeling, loving to see the kid actually relax as he felt safe and hopeful after everything we went through.

Though a gentle touch on my shoulder seemed to stop me in my tracks, turning to see Daryl looking down at me with a small smile, "Was bout to go hunt. Ya wanna come with me?" he asked.

I nodded as I glanced back to Carl, "Let your dad know. I'll be back soon, okay?"

"I will." he said. 

With that, I followed Daryl deeper into the woods so we could try and find more food to bring back. I stayed pretty quiet as I looked for any tracks in the dirt, but of course it was pretty slim to none, our luck not being on our sides with finding something to eat. Let alone enough to feed the whole group. All I could manage to see were old walker footprints, settling with looking up in the trees instead to try and maybe spot a few squirrels. 

My eyes scanned around the branches as I tried to pinpoint some nests built up high in the trees, but it was hard to focus on that when all I could feel was Daryl's eyes burning into me. I tried to ignore it for the few silent minutes we spent out there, but my annoyance only grew as I was the only one attempting to find food when it was his idea in the first place.

A sigh left my lips as I finally turned around to face him, watching as he immediately looked down towards the ground acting as if he hadn't been caught.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked.

His lowered eyes slowly traveled up to reach my own, "Like what?" he asked, as if he didn't already know what I was referring to.

I huffed as my arms crossed over my chest, "Like...I'm going to break or something." I clarified.

He shrugged, "Just worried about ya."

"I'm fine." I assured in a much calmer tone, not wanting to start something, but also not wanting to be seen as someone weak. 

His eyes held nothing but sadness and concern when he looked towards me, silently telling me he didn't believe a word coming out of my mouth. To be completely honest, I don't even know why I lie to him anymore, because one way or another he's going to know.

"Okay," I confessed, "I'm not fine...but I will be." His face didn't falter, as if waiting for me to continue, "I just need some time." I finished.

This caused him to nod with a small, reluctant smile on his face, now moving to walk right beside me, searching the trees as well. I didn't want to wander too far from the others, but so far, we weren't having much luck finding any animals to bring back. Everything seemed empty, like even the wildlife knew to stay far away from the place we too were trying desperately to get away from.

The silence that fell between us was nice, comfortable, though I missed hearing his voice. But as if he read my mind, he opened his mouth to fill the quiet.

"Talk to me about somethin." he said.

I felt my face scrunch, "What do you mean?"

"Anythin," he said simply, "Just wanna hear yer voice. Tell me somethin I might not know bout cha."

I faltered for a moment as we seemed to have the same damn mind, but laughed quietly to myself at his request, "Well you're my husband, you know pretty much everything...but let me think."

I began to rack my brain for something that he had yet to find out about me but nothing instantly came to mind. On the farm, we spent most of the time talking nonstop, getting to know every single detail about the other before we even got together. So, there was truly not much that he didn't already know. In fact, he probably knew me better than anyone else.

 "Why don't you go first?" I suggested when I couldn't think of anything good, "Gives me more time to come up with something."

"Alright." he huffed, growing silent as he picked through his mind as well. I then looked back towards him a moment later when he let out a quiet gasp, watching as the corners of his mouth tilted up as he nodded, "I got one."

"Go ahead." I said softly.

He grinned at me, "So, before all this...whenever I went huntin, I would always bring back at least one rock I found in the woods. I ended up havin a lil collection by the end."

My heart swelled, "That's adorable. You're so cute."

"Pfft." he scoffed, "I ain't cute." he said defensively, although I could see a little blush appear on his cheeks at the compliment.

"Well, I think you're pretty cute...you're just going to have to deal with it." I said sweetly, reaching out to gently boop his nose.

He rolled his eyes, "Woman, I swear-"

But I stopped him before he could say anything else by kissing him softly. I pulled his frame closer to mine and parted my lips a little so he could easily slip in his tongue. He quietly groaned in response, causing me to smile against his mouth as my hands trailed down to give his big arms a gentle squeeze.

I pulled away after a few seconds to see his eyes open slowly, having a hazy look to them which made me smile brightly as he tried to collect his thoughts.

"Alright...I'll be cute for ya."

I smirked, "You're whipped." I teased.

"Aw, well can ya blame me?" he asked before leaning in to peck my lips once, twice, before finally breaking apart, "Yer turn." 

"Oh yeah," I said, "Well, the only thing I could think of that's kind of interesting is that I know another language."

His eyes widened a little, "Really?"

I nodded my head, "Mhm, I took French throughout high school, and I can still speak it somewhat. I'm a little rusty though."

"Say somethin." he said a bit excitedly.

I thought for a moment before smiling softly, "Je t'aime beaucoup chéri."

His eyes lit up at the phrase, but I thought it was even sweeter that he didn't even know what I said, he just loved the sound of it. "What'd ya say?" he asked.

"I said, I love you very much honey."

He then asked me to repeat it, surprising me a little when he tried to say it himself, nailing it almost right away. I didn't think I could fall anymore in love with his voice, but when he spoke French, I think I could've melted into a puddle if he didn't have his arm placed around my waist.

"You sound sexy." I complimented.

He raised his eyebrows, "Yeah?"

"Yeah." I confirmed.

He smiled and kissed me once more before we were off again to try and actually find something to bring back. Once we ventured further out, by the grace of God we finally found a handful of squirrels, Daryl pulling out a thick string from his bag so we were able to carry them back. To my surprise, we actually got more than what I was expecting, but it still didn't seem like much considering the number of mouths we now had to feed.

After being away from the others for far too long, we decided to head back towards their path to catch up with them, seeing as though we had something that would last us a little while. Though I couldn't help but notice that Daryl was a little more on edge as we walked back, trying his best to hide his anxious feeling, but I caught on almost immediately. His eyes scanned around the area rapidly, almost as if he was keeping an eye out expectantly for something lurking by. But I didn't linger on it for very long when I noticed the group beginning to come into view.

They didn't see us however, and once they heard a stick snap from underneath my foot, they all raised their weapons in our direction. My eyebrows raised a little as Daryl and I coincidentally raised our hands at the same time in a joking matter.

"We surrender." Daryl muttered sarcastically.

I laughed and nudged his shoulder lightly, seeing the rest of them visibly relax as we kept moving forward. Though Rick seemed to make a beeline over to us instead of leading the group like he once was, not saying a word as he looked at Daryl expectantly.

"Nothin." was all he said, and I furrowed my brows in confusion.

"Nothing?" I asked, watching as the both of them tried desperately not to let me in on the private discussion, "Guys, come on. Secrets don't make friends." I reminded with raised brows as I stared at them expectantly.

Daryl let out a sigh before he finally caved, "Last night I had this feelin that someone coulda been watchin us. But when we went out, I didn't see no tracks. Just me bein paranoid."

I let out a breath, "Okay, good. But please just tell me the next time you think there's a psychopath following us." I joked.

"Yes ma'am." he nodded, and I rolled my eyes at the famous phrase he loved to use to get a reaction out of me. And clearly it worked just as well this time as it did the last, seeing him chuckle to himself.

"So, whatever you heard last night-" Rick stepped in.

"It's more what I felt. But if someone's followin us, there woulda been somethin." Daryl confirmed.

Rick nodded, relief filling him momentarily before he looked back towards me, "You doing okay?"

I knew he meant his question with the best intentions, but the annoyance I was feeling only started to bubble over. To everyone else, I had apparently grown fragile after what happened to me when I was out there on my own, but that was far from the truth. It was just a minor bump in the road, one that I had taken care of myself, it was as simple as that. But I could see almost everyone was walking on eggshells around me now that they had an idea of what went down without knowing the whole story, and it was starting to get to me.

"Jesus, I'm fine." I snapped slightly, turning on my heel to walk away without another word.

When my back was turned and I had created some distance, I heard them begin to talk quietly with each other as I only got further away, but I just kept going. Blowing off some steam as I finally caught up with the others, falling in line near the back as I took out my bow to hold in my grasp in case of any danger that passed by.

But as it turns out, I had unknowingly planted myself right next to the new girl, Tara, without even realizing it at first. I watched out of the corner of my eye as she scanned the side of my face, clearly trying to come up with something to say.

"We didn't uh...we didn't get to officially meet." she said after a few seconds, "I'm Tara." she introduced, holding out a hand for me to shake.

I glanced over at her before panning down towards her extended hand, reaching down to grasp it lightly, "Rose."

She smiled with a nod as our hands eventually parted, "Listen, uh...Glenn told me about how you almost...tore my head off last night."

I chuckled sarcastically to myself, "Oh, I'm sure he did." I muttered, not surprised in the slightest, "Him and his big mouth have been nothing but a pain in my ass since the beginning."

She laughed a little before her smile faded once more, "My point is...I'm not trying to cause any trouble. It's just-"

"I know," I interrupted as my face softened, "You don't have to explain yourself to me. Glenn gave me the gist and...I trust him. So, I guess that means I trust you too. You're good."

She let out a relieved sigh, "Good...cause I'm not gonna lie, you kinda scare me a little."

"Good." I said simply, sending her a wink to show that I was joking.

She smiled slightly and held out her hand again, this time in a fist. Her smile seemed to be contagious as my lip quirked up as well, knocking her knuckles lightly with my own before we continued walking in comfortable silence. 

That is until we all suddenly heard a man began to scream and cry for help, his voice echoing through the forest though he didn't seem too far away from the path we were taking. Everyone stopped in their tracks as our ears perked up, our weapons clutched tightly in our hands as we tried to listen and pinpoint where the sound was coming from. But the last thing I wanted or needed right now was to cross paths with someone that we didn't know, and didn't trust.

"Dad, come on!" Carl tried.

I shook my head as I made a beeline towards the front of the group, "Hell no, we keep moving. No more strangers."

"Rose please, he needs help." Carl begged, his eyes darting from Rick to me to see who would make the first move, the decision the others were anticipating for.

I could easily see how anxious the kid grew, wanting to help someone who was clearly about to lose his life, but I didn't know if we should risk it. It could be some kind of trap, the unknown scaring me much more than anything else seemed to as I had an inner debate with myself.

But I eventually closed my eyes as I made up my mind, groaning a little in irritation before running in the direction of all the noise, hearing everyone else following my lead to have my back. As we weaved through the many trees and different obstacles, it wasn't long before we came across the man who was making all the noise amongst the quiet.

He was stuck up on a giant rock as a few walkers surrounded him, some grabbing at his feet while the others reached from different angles. He was now crying as he desperately tried to fight back, wearing to what looked to be a priest collar and all black clothing.

A gunshot was fired from just behind me, watching as one of the walkers went down instantly as the bullet shot through its skull. I grabbed one of my knives and quickly stabbed the nearest corpse in the head, Rick coming up beside me and doing the same thing from my left as we got the ones that clung onto the man's limbs.

The rest dropped like flies as we took care of them with ease, our attention now on the man still somewhat frozen on top of the giant rock in shock. He continued to cry breathlessly as his hands clung to the top for dear life, he didn't look like a threat. But looks could be deceiving, and I was far from ready to trust him just yet.

"Come on down." Rick said to the man.

He scanned the ground below him uneasily to make sure it was safe, before slowly sliding down the side and landing firmly on his feet. He looked to be in pain as his wide eyes scanned all of us, Rick asking if he was alright as he tried to break him out of his little trance.

The man held up a finger to tell us to wait before leaning over and suddenly throwing up everything that remained in his stomach. I cringed at the sound and turned my head away slightly, trying not to laugh at everyone's faces as they watched the man in disgust.

"Sorry," he whispered as he wiped his mouth with his shirt sleeve, standing back up to his full height to face us again, "Yes, thank you. I'm Gabriel."

"Do you have any weapons on you?" Rick asked cautiously.

Gabriel chuckled and looked around nervously, "Do I look like I would have any weapons?" he asked.

"We don't give two short and curlies what it looks like." Abraham said.

I blinked a few times as I glanced back to the man in confusion, trying not to laugh at the same time with the random, out of pocket comment he just made. I thought back to what Glenn said just last night about him, and low and behold, he was right.

"I have no weapons of any kind. The word of God is the only protection I need." Gabriel assured.

Daryl scoffed from beside me, "Sure didn't look like it."

Gabriel only smiled, "I called for help. Help came."

My eyes scanned the man for a moment as I thought about what he meant. I was the one who took off running first, but I sure as hell knew it wasn't God that compelled me to rush towards the complete stranger. It was just...well I actually didn't know what it was. Pity maybe? Or the desperate look in Carl's eyes? Hormones? Who fucking knows.

"Do you- do you have any food?" he suddenly asked, "Whatever I had left just hit the ground."

Carl almost instantly reached inside his jacket pocket, pulling something out to offer it to him with an extended hand, "We have some pecans." 

The man smiled, muttering a small "Thank you." as he took a few from his hand and placed them in his mouth. He began to glance around at all of us again in clear nervousness, his eyes lingering on Judith as she began to coo in Tyreese's arms.

"That's a beautiful child." he complimented.

My eyes narrowed dangerously as I glared daggers at the man, instinctively stepping in front of Tyreese to block the baby from his view. I watched his eyes widen as he instantly looked somewhere other than my intense stare, settling with looking to my left back towards Rick.

"Do you have a camp?" he asked.

"No," Rick said immediately, "Do you?"

"I have a church." he said simply. Shocker.

Rick thought for a second before speaking again, "Hold your hands above your head." When Gabriel did as he asked, Rick moved over towards him, starting to pat him down as he questioned him. "How many walkers have you killed?"

I stepped in quickly, "Rick no. Not this guy." I said sternly.

He looked back at me, "He has a church."

"Woohoo," I cheered sarcastically, "I don't give a shit. I'm not doing this again...I can't."

The last part of my sentence came out quieter than I had intended it too, but I wasn't going to lie; I was scared. After everything that happened to us recently, I thought that the others might agree that going with this stranger wasn't a good idea. He could have more people waiting for us back at his sanctuary and attack us all. I didn't want to risk that. Risk anyone else's lives.

Rick turned to face me fully upon hearing my plea, placing a hand on my shoulder and gave it a squeeze as he wanted me to really hear him, "Trust me." he whispered.

I stared at him for a few seconds before looking back to the priest, watching as he smiled nervously at me. I turned my attention back to Rick and reluctantly nodded, knowing that I only agreed because I did truly trust him. Not because of the pity I felt for the man.

Rick nodded back to me in return, before turning to face Gabriel who raised his arms up again, "How many walkers?" he repeated.

"Not any actually." he confessed.

"How many people have you killed?"

His eyes widened, his mouth slightly parting in shock as he was blown away he was even accused of such a thing, "None."

"Why?"

"Because the Lord abhors violence." he said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, the Lord also wanted that one guy to kill his own son as a sacrifice instead of a goat." I stated, pointing out that God wasn't necessarily a splendid guy, before walking up closer so we were face to face. "What have you done? We've all done something." I questioned in a dangerously low tone.

He looked nervous once again as swallowed harshly, beginning to stutter over his words, "I'm a sinner. I sin almost every day...but those sins, I confess them to God. Not strangers." 

I couldn't help but scoff as I ran my tongue over my teeth, "And I only save my family from danger. Not strangers. Today's just full of surprises, huh?"

He truly didn't know how to answer me, beginning to stammer over his words as he realized I wasn't backing down. That is until Michonne spoke up from behind me, placing a hand on my shoulder for me to back off, mentioning the church he brought up originally. The man then didn't hesitate as he began to lead us in the opposite direction of where we were headed, the group following close behind as he ducked through the many branches in his way.

I still didn't know if I fully trusted this guy, even before we were being leaded blindly through the forest. He was definitely hiding something, but then again maybe his sin was something like he forgot to pray before bed one night or some shit. However, I had grown to read people pretty well, and watching him get a little too nervous at the simple question I asked him, caused a red flag to pop up in my mind.

"Hey earlier, were you watching us?" Rick suddenly asked Gabriel.

"I keep to myself. Nowadays, people are just as dangerous as the dead don't you think?" he asked.

Daryl shook his head, "Nah, people are worse."

"Well, I wasn't watching you. I haven't been beyond the stream near my church more than a few times since it all started. That was the furthest I've gone before today." he informed.

Everyone nodded in silent agreement, moving along right behind him, "Or maybe I'm lying." Gabriel suddenly spoke again, "Maybe I'm lying about everything and there's no church ahead at all. Maybe I'm leading you into a trap so I can steal all your squirrels."

We all seemed to stop walking at the same time as he attempted to joke around, but it only caused all of us to become a little more on edge. Everyone clutched their weapons on instict a little bit tighter as he slowly turned back around to face us the moment he heard we had stopped.

His mouth parted as he noticed we didn't understand the joking manner, watching out of the corner of my eye as Daryl moved his squirrels behind his back protectively so they would be out of view.

Gabriel looked apologetic, "Members of my flock had often told me that my sense of humor leaves much to me desired."

"Yeah, hilarious." I deadpanned.

He just nodded his head and didn't say another word, knowing that at this point he was just digging himself deeper into a hole. We walked only a little further before a simple white church started to come into view, surrounded by a quiet beautiful greenery. It kind of reminded me of the church we thought Sophia was hiding in way back when this all started, everything about it seemed almost exactly the same. 

Gabriel walked up the few steps towards the giant double doors, pulling out a key to unlock the handle, but Rick stopped him. "Hold up," he said and held his hand out for the keys, "Can we take a look around first? We just want to hold onto our squirrels."

I snorted as I watched Gabriel visibly hesitate to hand the keys over, but eventually complied so we could scope the place out before him. Rick was the first to walk in with his gun raised and we all followed cautiously to see if there was any type of threat waiting for us inside. It was dark and completely silent in the space, the only light coming from a quite beautiful stained-glass window in the very front of the structure.

I stood tall in the back, lingering by the entrance as the other scoped out every inch of the place, focusing more on the doors toward the right and left at the end of the room. But it didn't take long before I saw Rick coming back out, giving me a nod that it was clear before I turned to exit the place along with the rest of them. He was telling the truth.

Gabriel looked a little relieved as we walked back outside, nodding towards the place, "I spent months here without stepping out the front door. If you found someone inside, well it would've been surprising." he said.

"Thanks for this." Carl said gratefully.

I looked down towards him with softened eyes, wrapping my arm around his shoulders and giving his arm a soft squeeze. This kid had been through hell and back but was still so thankful for everything he had. I swear most of the time he was more mature than I was.

"We found a short bus out back, it don't run but I bet we could fix that in a day or two. Father here says he don't want it. Looks like we found ourselves some transport." Abraham announced as he made his way back from around the building.

Rick only nodded as he spoke again, "You know what's at stake here, right?" the burly man asked.

"Yeah, I do." Rick said.

"We can take a breath-" Michonne began to say.

But Abraham was quick to interrupt her, "We take a breath, we slow down, shit inevitably goes down."

"We need supplies no matter what we do next." I stepped in, "And if I remember right, you said it would take a day or two to fix that bus. That gives the rest of us a break we need, and we have shelter right here." I gestured to the church.

He clicked his tongue, wanting to protest but I spoke again before he got a chance, "I'm not trying to be a pain in the ass, okay? But you can't look me in the eye and tell me with a straight face that we haven't been through hell the past few hours. Just a day or two...and then we can go on your little field trip."

He huffed, "Ain't no field trip, missy. It's a mission that's going to save everyone's asses. It's gonna save the world." he stated confidently.

I nodded my head slowly, "Yeah, let me know how that works out in the end." I muttered before glancing back at Eugene. I gave him a subtle look that he would be able to read, telling him silently that I knew his little secret. Everything clicked together when he shifted slightly under my gaze; he was lying.

After seeing enough to only confirm my suspicions, I moved to head back into the church, following behind everyone else except the small trio who lingered outside as they now didn't know what to do.

I slowly walked right up to the very front as everyone else seemed to fan out from around me, though I couldn't pull my eyes away from the giant window. It was mesmerizing, the beautiful colors flowing out of the glass only illuminated everything else so beautifully. They were so bright and vibrant, something I hadn't seen in a long time, it practically hypnotized me.

Until there was a sudden presence at my side, gently placing a hand on the small of my back to turn me around to face them. My eyes then met with Daryl's as he smiled at me softly, though I frowned a little to myself at the black eye he still had.

"It'll be nice to sleep somewhere with a roof for a little while." I commented.

He nodded, "Yeah, tell me bout it."

I tilted my head, "But you love being outside."

"M' just happy to sleep somewhere other than the ground," he said, nodding to the many pews behind us, "Ain't gettin any younger you know."

"Yeah, that's fair..." I trailed off as I ran my hands gently up and down his arms.

I then slowly realized the position we were in, facing each other with our arms tangled together in the front of an altar, only causing me to wonder what it would be like to get married in a place like this. We obviously never had an official wedding, but being in an actual church made me think more about it, especially with the beautiful window illuminating the space. 

He caught my mind wandering almost instantly, placing his finger under my chin to get me to look back up at him, "Whacha thinkin bout?" he asked.

I shrugged, "Nothing. Just...did you ever think about getting married somewhere like this?"

He hummed as he thought for a moment, "With you? Or just in general?"

"In general."

"Pfft." he scoffed, "No."

"Why?" I asked, confused.

"Cause I never thought I would ever get married." he said simply before a slow smile spread across his face, "But then I met a real pretty girl, and somehow convinced her to like me enough to put a ring on her finger." he said as he ran his thumb over the diamond on my left hand.

I smiled a bit sheepishly, "Well, first of all, you got her to love you. Second, any woman would be insanely lucky to have you, leaving me the luckiest girl on the planet." I winked, "And third...I don't have a third, but you get it."

He chuckled, "Alright, yeah, I get it. Why are ya thinkin bout gettin married anyway?"

"I don't know...I guess I always wanted to get married in a pretty church like this one. But it's the end of the world so it doesn't really matter anymore. Just a thought." I said, brushing the topic off completely.

He hummed a response before he grew quiet for a long moment, chewing his bottom lip as he thought hard about something. I watched in amusement as he almost forgot I was standing right in front of him, witnessing him deep in his own little world.

"You still with me?" I finally spoke.

His eyes snapped back to me, "Uh yeah...sorry, darlin. Just thinkin."

"Care to share?" I asked.

He shook his head, "Nah, nothin important. M' gonna...talk to Rick figure out a gameplan bout those supplies."

I nodded, "Okay, love."

He glanced around quickly to see if anyone was watching us before kissing my cheek, turning to make his way towards Rick who was talking quietly to Gabriel further down towards the aisle. I watched for a moment as the three men were having a serious conversation, but then Daryl seemed to say something that made Gabriel look directly at me, and I turned my head away abruptly. 

That was awkward. 

With the silence consuming me once again, I decided to walk around the place a little more until I spotted Maggie and Glenn in the back, having a hushed discussion side by side. "Hey lovebirds." I greeted them.

They both looked up at me and smiled, "Hey," they said in unison.

"So," I started, taking a seat next to Maggie as they looked towards me expectantly, "What do you think about this whole saving the world bullshit?" I asked.

She looked confused, "What do you mean?"

Glenn chimed in from her left, "Ro doesn't think Eugene actually knows the cure."

"What makes you think that?" she asked.

I shrugged, "I don't know, he just doesn't seem very confident, and I can just feel his guilt from here. He just looks like he doesn't know shit, and now it's catching up to him."

They both looked at me with raised eyebrows, "Wow." Maggie muttered.

"It's just an observation, I obviously don't know for sure...but I guess we're going find out one way or another." I said as I gestured to the three now entering the building.

They both nodded in silent agreement as our eyes followed them for a moment, "Should we bet on it?" Glenn suggested, a mischievous smirk coming onto his face.

I blinked, "We don't have anything."

"Oh yeah." he muttered in slight defeat, placing his head in his hands as Maggie chuckled softly, rubbing his back in reassurance.

But before any of us could say anything else, Carol walked up hesitantly, "Sorry, I'm not interrupting anything am I?"

I shook my head, "Nope, just talking about how much of a big fat liar Eugene might be, what's up?"

She looked confused for a second before shaking her head a little at my humor, excitement suddenly filling her features, "I was just wondering if you would like to look for some water with me." she said as she looked directly at me.

"Oh sure, let me just tell Daryl where I'm going-"

"He already knows, Rick's sending out a few different groups to look for some things. Water, food, ammo, all that." she listed.

I furrowed my brows in confusion, "Oh...okay. Then let's go."

She smiled and gestured for me to get up with her hand. I went to grab my bow and arrows from where I left them by my backpack before heading to follow her out the front doors. Though I glanced over my shoulder one last time towards the group before actually leaving, a few people watching my movements as they waved goodbye with the same excitement that Carol seemed to carry.

Confusion crossed my face again, waving back to the rest of them awkwardly before I shut the giant door behind me with a slam. My frame turned back around slowly as I tired to figure out what the hell I missed, jogging a little to catch up with the woman who was already on the move.

"So, did you guys find some special brownies or something? What's up?" I asked in slight amusement.

She looked over with furrowed brows, "What do you mean?"

"Everyone just waved at me before I left like they were suddenly excited to be in God's house or something."

Her eyes flickered with a little bit of an oh shit emotion, but she quickly smiled to cover it up, "I wouldn't know anything about that. Probably just happy we're all together again." she said with a shrug.

I narrowed my eyes at her, "Yeah...probably."

Bullshit. This woman was hiding something. Maybe she was luring me out into the woods to kill me, but then again, I'm always paranoid about that sort of thing. I watched way too many crime shows before the world ended. 

After I eliminated the possibility of her trying to kill me, I dropped the topic completely. Whatever it was, I was either going to find out eventually or there truly wasn't anything suspicious to begin with. For now, we were just two lovely ladies getting some water for the rest of our group. Or at least that's what I assumed.

~ Thanks for reading!

Taglist - @justareader95 @hayley1998 @ryoujoking @sipsthecoffee @winterassassin1804 @marsmallow433 @catlalice @writingstreetspirit @silentlysuffering98

[b0y-artist]

Cuddly

"Y'know, I never expected you to be this...cuddly." a voice rang out in the middle of the night, stirring the boy beside him awake.

Mono sat up, taking a second to regain his senses, he wasn't going to lie and say that he wasn't a *little* upset he'd been woken up. Just because Seven was the one who woke him doesn't change that fact. Between the constant nightmares and dangers outside, sleep was getting harder and harder to come by.

Seven could feel those dark eyes glaring into him even with that paper bag on. He gulped. "Ah, sorry did I wake you?" Seven's voice was shaky as he spoke, subconsciously fiddling with whatever he could find, something he did whenever he was nervous.

Mono sighed. There's really no reason to stay mad, not when they had other things to worry about. "S' fine..." Mono slurred, Seven knew it wasn't though, they both did.

Seven was starting to feel bad about even speaking up in the first place. Until Mono's voice snapped him out of his guilt.

"At' was it you even said?"

Seven held back a chuckle at Mono's slurred speech. "I said you're more cuddly than I thought you'd be."

Since Mono insisted on wearing that damn paper bag all the time, Seven's had to rely on body language to understand how his friend was feeling, and by the way his shoulders slumped, Seven could tell he was disappointed.

"I-," Mono paused, looking down at the tattered blanket they were sharing. "You say that like it's a bad thing." He mumbled underneath his breath, almost too quiet for Seven to hear.

Seven felt a sinking feeling in his stomach, Mono didn't just sound disappointed, he sounded sad. Almost...hurt. But, why? What had Seven done?

Seven scratched the back of his neck. He really wasn't the best at comforting people, but he didn't want Mono to be sad. "It-its not a bad thing...it just...surprised me. No offense, but when we first met I thought you wanted to bite off my hand."

Mono's head popped up, almost as if in revelation, before he looked back down, holding his arm embarrassed. "Yeah...sorry about that. I've just–I've been through a lot."

Seven frowned, putting his hand on Mono's shoulder as a comforting gesture. "You can talk to me about it if you want. I-I mean if you don't want to, that's okay too. I just think you might...feel better if you do. I won't judge if that's what you're scared of,"

Anybody else would probably be unnerved at having two black cut out eyes look at you. But Seven wasn't, because he knew underneath that paper bag, Mono was smiling at him.

[sorryimananti-romantic]

have you ever dreamed about atz/idol(s) before?

i had a dream not long after txt's tnc:temptation was released. i was a main role (??) of some sorts in txt's cysm and we were shooting the mv (i was watching content from tdc:eternity era before sleeping so i guess that explains it)

so blah blah blah, terry and i become best friends, blah blah blah, i end up going home after the shoot. next morning i wake up to what seems like a studio choom behind ep, and its txt's reactions when they find out i wont be filming with them anymore??(somehow we skipped a whole 4 albums and came back to tnc:temptation?) so soobin, beomgyu and yeonjun were spinning in a t-pose with the fairy dust sprinkling around them, terry and kai were watching them, and then they were like all sad when they found out i wasnt filming anymore, then started sending hearts and blowing kisses to the camera AND TERRY SAID I LOVE YOU😭

so i started crying in the dream and posted the clip of yunjin saying 정말 감사합니다 on my twitter 😭😭 then i woke up and got really sad that i wasnt actually friends w taehyun

in all my dreams of txt, taehyun is always my best friend and its so sad when i wake up to realise it was just a dream and ill never be friends w him 😭😭😭

omgg i can feel the heartbreak from here 😭😭 that was wild tho and dreams do be like that they literally make no sense esp with the timeskips inside a dream like what is this a kdrama 😭 funny that your subconscious has friendzoned taehyun for good LMAO

i dream a lot actually, so much it's almost a problem bc they're so vivid and i rarely ever feel well rested bc of them oops BUT i've had a few crazy kpop dreams too:

a similar friendzone situation happened to me where me and taeyong were supposed to be best friends? in the same college and he was angry about sth on our way to clg and i was trying to calm him down but he ended up being mean and i was like find me when you're calm 💀 and then he felt sorry or sth and we were in class (some auditorium kinda setting) and he kept looking at me with those sad apologetic eyes and when i finally met his gaze he mouthed 'sorry' and i gave him the 👌okay sign AND THEN THAT MF MOUTHED 'I LOVE YOU' AND ISTG I SOBBED RIGHT THERE (i guess i was in love with him 😩) AND I MOUTHED ILY BACK BUT ISTG MY HEART BROKE.

an ateez dream that keeps me awake tho it's a funny one i think i've told someone on another ask too but what happened was yungi and i are a best friends trio and yunho had been away for some time and he was back in town so mingi and i were going to meet up with him in some park right and it was late at night so not many ppl were around and when i saw yunho waving at me i literally dropped everything and ran towards him and he spread his arms and i jump-hugged him and he picked me up and i was hugging him and he was spinning me around (i'm losing it if you can't tell already) and i was still in his arms, my legs wrapped around him for support and i broke the hug to look at him aND IM SO STUPID I JUST GIGGLED AND SAID "so this is how the air feels like from up here" JKFHGJSFDHGKJDFHGKJ (i want to cry every time i think about this dream bc a) it's funny and b) that hug was so warm and i haven't had a good hug in years))

my recent fic guerrilla (serialkiller!yunho) was also a direct result of me dreaming about serial killer yunho actually slitting ppl's throats and well... he's hot

[atlasscrumpit]

In the end / part 6

(part one here)

Bucky was the only one awake, he just watched you and Steve breathe softly.

After a while he noticed you beginning to twitch and mumble softly.

He knew you were having a nightmare, maybe most of his memory had been erased.

But,in his subconscious he remembered helping you through countless nightmares.

He wrapped his arm around you tighter.

"Please, hurt me." You whispered as Bucky looked down at you with sadness.

"Need to be punished." You whispered as Bucky noticed tears in your eyes.

"Y/N, it's okay." Bucky whispered.

Suddenly you yelped in shock and Bucky realised Steve's hand was wrapped around your throat.

"Bucky?" You choked out as you reached up and grabbed Steve's wrist.

Steve grabbed you and threw you onto the floor before he backed away and glared at you.

"You died." He muttered as Bucky quickly rushed to your side.

You groaned as Bucky helped you stand up.

"Steve, it's okay." You whispered, your voice hoarse.

Bucky kept holding onto you as he looked at Steve.

Steven slowly sunk down to the floor and began to sob.

"Why, why did this happen?" He whispered through his cries.

You stumbled forward and fell to the ground with Steve.

Bucky knelt beside you and kept his hand on your back.

"Stevie, look at us." Bucky whispered as Steve slowly looked up.

"We're all here, we're all alive. We went through horrible things, but we've survived them. We all have each other, Steve. We won't leave your side." Bucky reassured Steve as he smiled and nodded.

You took Steve's hand in your and offered him a smile.

"We're going to get through this." You whispered, Steve gently reached up and ran his hand over the bruise that was forming in your neck.

You could see how guilty he was.

"It'll heal, love." You whispered making him nod in response.

You could feel yourself begining to break down.

"I just need to get some fresh air." You whispered as you rushed away.

Bucky wanted to chase after you but he knew you needed some space, he also needed to stay here with Steve.

"Friday? Can you tell Tony to find Y/N in a few minutes?" Bucky suggested as the Ai agreed before he turned back to Steve.

"She'll be okay, she just woke up from a nightmare." Bucky explained as Steve nodded.

"I don't want to hurt her. All these years, when you would wake up in soldier mode. Now... I'm doing it." Steve whispered in disbelief as Bucky sat beside him and wrapped his arm around him.

"I've got you."

--

You stood on the roof as you tried to control your breathing.

"Hey, kid." You heard a voice say as you looked behind to see Tony.

You quickly wiped away your tears.

"Hey." You muttered, he didn't say a word he just came towards you and slowly wrapped his arms around you.

You broke down and sobbed into his chest as you clung onto him.

"I want to be there for them, I want to make everything okay. But, I don't know how I can do that when I'm haunted by memories as well." You whispered as Tony gently ran his hand through your hair.

"All of this is going to be hard, but you're not alone in this. Steve and Bucky will be here for you of course, but whenever they can't be there I'll be there, Nat will, Bruce will and all the other team mates. Which reminds me, I should probably call them and tell them you're alive." He said as you chuckled and shook your head.

"Oh man, I've been so preoccupied I haven't even thought about all of this. The world, my friends, they all think we're still dead." You whispered as he smiled softly.

"We'll get there, Y/N. Go down and see your boys, I'll organise getting the team here, okay?" He said as you smiled and nodded.

"Thank you, Tony." You replied before going back down to your room.

You found Bucky and Steve sitting up in bed.

You crawled onto the bed and sandwiched between them, making them chuckle.

"I'm sorry, I felt like I was going to have a breakdown and I didn't want to add to anything." You muttered as they wrapped their arms around you.

"It's okay, love." Steve whispered as you kissed his cheek softly.

"I'm here now."

[slashingdisneypasta]

Slashing! I just woke up and I have miraculously remembered the dream I had; and I must share with you! It's kinda sad, but also feel-good too? Like in a 'it's us versus the world, and I'm happy that you're the one with me' way.

Alright, so you have that headcannon that Greasy lived on the streets for a while, right? Well, in my dream, this was during that time. At least from what I can tell. Y/N (I say Y/N, but I genuinely don't remember who it was. I don't think it was me, I can't remember if it was you. It could have even been Shiny or one of the other weasels for all I know. So I'm going with self insert) and Greasy are sitting together, in an alley, taking shelter from the rain. I can't remember if they had cover, but I remember that they used a cardboard box as like an arm rest/table between them or something.

Anyways, these two are chatting. About what, I can't remember. But I remember that there was some dry laughter (the kind that you hear and you just know that they're not really happy, they're just trying to find some humor in this messed up situation they're in), before they started talking about deep stuff. Considering the setting, my guess is that they were opening up with each other and/or talking about the lessons and philosophy they've learned in life because of their situation. Which, at least in Greasy's case, it'd probably be something like 'kill or be killed'? Or some other saying that means that in order to survive, you have to use others.

The odd thing about this dream was that I distinctly remember Greasy smoking in the dream too. Not as bad as Wheezy, but I remember so vividly him pulling out a pack, taking one (just one. Wheezy, take notes) cig out, and lighting it up. So I guess my brain thinks younger Greasy smoked XD but I also remember him drinking from a beer bottle at the same time? Not with the smoke, I mean like I remember the same exact scene the dream camera focused on Greasy pulling out the cigarettes, but he instead takes a swig from the bottle, if that makes sense? So idk, maybe my brain realized this wasn't Wheezy, and replaced the cigarettes with alcohol in the middle of the dream XD

But yeah, that was my dream. Greasy and Y/N taking shelter in an alley while talking about life. Idk if this is purely platonic or there was a romance, but either way, I hope you get a kick out if reading this ^^

That sounds like a kinda nice dream actually!! Even during that time ):): (Also by the way I am SHOOK that you took in my background headcanons so deeply that they ended up I your SUBCONSCIOUS!??? WHAT? AHHHHHHHHHH in a good way) Like, 'it's us versus the world, and I'm happy that you're the one with me'- ?? That's soooo sweet 💚💚💚💚💚 Good stuff good stuff good stuff!!

And 'maybe my brain realised this wasn't Wheezy' made me laugh XDD I'm imagining the little men in your brain like this:

Captain Brain: Okay! We need a dream! What are those little creatures she likes?? Lieutenant Memory: The Toon Patrol, sir?? They're weasels. Captain Brain: YES! Those! Okay, chuck one o' those in. The uh- pink one?? Ehh nah not today. How about the green one? Yeah!, put him. The Officer at the Controls: Yessir, you got it. Captain Brain: OH! Make give him a cigerette! They smoke, don't they? I remember they smoke. Lieutenant Memory: Oh yeah, but- Captain Brain: Sh sh sh, I got this. Okay! What next?- Oh lets put 'em in that lovely friends excellent origin headcanon- Lieutenant Memory: Alright alright... but SIR- Captain Brain: I'M BUSY, LIEUTENENT. ~ Several Moments Later ~ Lieutenant Memory: *Writes something on white board very angrily as the Captain wouldn't listen to them* *Shoves it in front of the Captains face, slamming in on the table in front of them* Captain Brain: What?- what?- what is it Lieu- Captain Brain: ... wait that one's not Wheezy?! Lieutenant: WHEEZY'S BLUE Captain Brain: WHAT!? Lieutenent Brain: He w h e e z e s. Because he s m o k e s, sir! Officer at the Controls: *Sighs. This job is not worth the college credit* I'll just stick a beer in his hand and hope she didn't notice...

Anyway, thank you so much for sharing!! I absolutely love hearing about peoples dreams, especially when they were excited about it!! And having Toon Patrol dream is always amazing and fun XD Even with a good helping of angst! XD 😅 I hope you woke up with good vibes though ^^

[feelingunfulfilled]

I think the dream I just had may be one of the rare cases where it feels like in that moment, I’m in reality and can’t hold back tears anymore. Started bawling and chocking on my words. But I wake up and my eyes are mostly dry..well except when I think about the huge emotional dream reaction I had and what brought on it. My dream was most likely influenced by the talk I had with one of my childhood friends yesterday, in which we caught up and she was shocked to hear both the cats I grew up with died. Niko and Nia, although upon further reflection she did remember Niko died but wasn’t fully aware both where gone. Anyways, I think having that discussion resurface subconsciously made me reminisce about them. Because in the dream I was watching a movie with my parents in the living room…and with Niko and Nia laying around too. At first I thought nothing of it because when your in a dream the brain does this thing where it hides information from you, somehow makes you believe the loved ones who are dead are still alive and well. This is common place for me and I fall for it every time. I had many dreams about my cousin Quincy being alive in the past and how she somehow got to a hospital and recovered okay. Obviously that is not what actually happened

But yeah safe to say I’m actually starting to cry now that I’m awake and reality has set in fully. In the dream, I had started glancing at them and talking with parents (interrupting the movie) making remarks about how Nia looked very relaxed as she was resting. Laying on her back with her mouth up in the air a tad goofy but very restful and content. Believe she was positioned on the couch. So I moved to take photos with my phone, admiring the moment. And then I noticed Niko on the other side of the living room (walking near to the carpet but stoped walking, sitting upright to stare at me). I was shocked at how white his fur was (his breed was a lilac point tonkinese which starts out white as a kitten but he got more grey and cream as years went bye. His sister Nia had a different father and was Russian Blue). I think that’s what got me to recognize this is some kinda event in the past not present…and that both cats are deceased. So my own dream self began trying to coax Niko to come closer, almost in a high pitched emotional begging state although the voice was starting to get strained and quiet. And he did so I can pet him again. And that’s when dream me stared uncontrollably sobbing with snot and all. This was all in first person perspective on my end by the way

Last thing in the dream was rushing to the bathroom to wipe off the snot I was catching in my palm (clean hand with the sink water) and I woke up. Feeling…a mixture of things. But mostly a tinge sad when I reflect on how for just that sort moment, I felt like I was with them again. And I miss that. Dearly. More then I could have expected too. I feel like with me, I can never tell if I’ve actually gotten over the death of someone or if I’m just suppressing the reality so deeply I can ignore it. As if I’m aimlessly waiting for them to make an appearance again. I guess you can still accept the fact it’s over, but there will always be a part of you that wants to go back. To remember again all the small details about them you may have taken for granted. To hold them, and speak to them. It hurts you know?

[alainstout]

When is enough, actually enough?

When are you enough, now already or after something?

Is it now what's the way life is or after something?

Have recorded 5 songs this week and 40 waiting, but nobody cares about that.

They only want to see things.

Plus it's better not to talk about it, just do it.

There's possibly not someone even reading this, so I can speak freely.

I feel like making music is my purpose.

Is what I found out.

Even when I like other things too.

Sometimes I'm sad and sometimes uplifted.

You make the song at a particular moment.

A moment later you can not even feeling like the moment you wrote the song lol.

Is what makes it funny.

And interesting. It do reliefs though.

I've done at least a couple of 10.000 of hours in music and writing in my life.

Life was preparing me, needed some other experiences as well.

Also some things I do is comedy like coco jumbo.

I mean if you see things in a movie 🎬, you're going to do that too? No [hope so]

Same for when a comedian cracks jokes nobody takes it serious.

It's just to detach from the daily grind.

To forget problems for a moment.

For the listener and for me.

Just cracking some jokes.

(Janine, my cat was lost for 1 week [again] came back last night. Thank God.)

I do feel like I'm on a streak in terms of music.

Like now is my time.

It will be very diverse from pop, R&B to club and rap.

Even some country and Jazz vibes and tunes.

Everything I like and feel good about.

So I'm maybe more a musician, than a rapper. Or an artist.

Or a creator or I just can't be boxed.

No labels.

Unlabel according to Marc Eckō.

Times are challenging but nobody can care.

Everyone goes through stuff.

As long as you stay pure, stick to a true heart.

Whatever happens.

POWER OF NOW DOES DO MIRACLES

And I wrote a song about it.

Overthinking was maybe my problem too sometimes.

So power of now is very helpful and useful for me.

From the core essence, I've always right intentions and want good for anyone despite what. So I've said it.

You know who you are.

Opinions from other people are never important because nobody can know but you.

Whatever I create, it's just art.

You also don't judge a painter's character by his paintings. Those 2 are separate.

So you cannot know if you like my music or not because nobody have heard these 50 songs who are waiting.

And 50 more to come.

Or God knows how much.

Plus I've so much waiting that there's always something that someone likes.

Art and person are separate and also a little bit aligned. I don't know...

I'm also more feeling like how would a human be in his purest form, like when we were cave dwellers.

When there are no rules, peer pressure, social expectations.

Just pure, in the beginning we even hadn't any thoughts so much. Because there's was barely a language.

There were only feelings.

Power of Now. Present moment.

Subconscious mind.

Self Awareness.

Anyways.

He woke up in complete freedom no stress of to pay or whatever.

Nobody tells him or her what to or what not to do.

Just wake up, build something, a new home or parts of it.

Maybe helping the group, the tribe, with some preparations.

Or his family.

Or going out to hunt some food.

When there's food caught maybe exchange it with someone for some rice.

And that's life.

Pure essence.

That's how I love to think, feel and live.

And then be here and now and just start to enjoy life...

[haptureratch]

time to vent/process again

Susan called this morning to check up on me and make sure I was still able to get things like food for myself. I let her know I am doing better as far as Covid goes and I'm able to eat a little with Zofran but my mental health is not doing well (I was compelled to open up about that and knew she would be a safe space since she looks out for Bethani). When I brought up trying to come back to work Monday she immediately dismissed that by saying "the work will get done, I just want to make sure you're alright" .... I thanked her for her care and hung up the phone. And the realization that someone was thinking about me and is willing to help if my mom was unable coupled with the realization that subconsciously I've been thinking it's all up to me to get better. And I just cried. Because I am so tired of my default being so hard on myself all the time and never relaxing into people as support systems. WHY is it STILL so hard to accept support? And even harder to ask for it? The only thing I really did was fully step away from work without a thought about my patients. That's the only thing I trusted; why do I not believe there are people willing to help me beyond the basic duties of their job?

Before that I was feeling sad/neglected about Steven again. When is this gonna stop already???????? I am so TIRED of myself. Rilley said this is normal because the relationship is still new and we barely get to see each other. But I am so sick and tired of still feeling forgotten when he doesn't text me in the evenings when he's home from work. And I really don't want to keep asking because I don't want him to force it or get tired of me. And I try all of the rationalization tricks in my head and they don't stick. I woke up at 5am anxious because for two nights in a row he didn't reach out to me after work. I literally hate myself. Rilley said it took her a very long time to relax with Ryan and that I'm being too hard on myself.

It's been so beautiful to be loved by Steven. All I ever wanted was to be seen and loved. But being seen means you can't hide. And not being able to hide has left me very anxious and uncomfortable on and off for months. Before I met him I had--wow he was right. I had all these systems in place to keep going. I mean it wasn't the greatest. I still had breakdowns. But it's like it's all been uncovered and the only way now is through. I can't turn back anymore, can't turn away into whatever I was numbing my mind with. But I've never gone through. I've endured. I've sat alongside it. Certainly been swallowed whole by it. But I never really went THROUGH (which for me is going to be pharmacologic treatment). And it's the most uncomfortable thing ever. I guess I just don't see the bridge yet. I see a huge cliff and I'm either hanging over the edge holding on for dear life or trying to have a controlled slide down (which isn't possible). I have to find the bridge and understand there is an other side. .... Covid really threw a wrench into things. I'm supposed to be on Wellbutrin right now but I haven't been able to start due to my dependence on Zofran to make it through all this nausea. And by now I'm sure the nausea is from my own anxiety. Such a catch-22.

I'm so tired of sounding like a broken record. I'm so tired of telling Steven I'm dealing with something. I just want to be "normal" and have hobbies and work toward passions and not be breaking down every couple days over the same things. Again and again. It's not even tied to my period right now. It's just like....almost every day and I can't stand myself.

July 1st is coming. Another thing on my plate. I think I've had this thought before but it's definitely apparent to me now: I failed because I refused to be seen. I failed because I did not reach out for help adequately. Sometimes my mental health is like caring for an elderly dog with a chronic illness--you know there will be empathy for you. You know people will understand if they come inside and see the place a mess with dirty dishes in the sink and laundry piled on the couch. 'She's caring for that poor dog, that's acceptable, let's help her.' But other times my mental health is like housing a feral cat and you're so full of shame that you can't bare to let anyone know the curtains are shredded and you're riddled with fleas and ticks and every disease it carried in because you did this to yourself. 'What the fuck is even her problem. Let's just back away. She already knows this isn't acceptable.'

It's exactly like that. The darkest most self-conscious parts of this feel so shameful.

And I think this has all been so hard for me because of Steven seeing me since February. Because like I said, I can't run away from it anymore. I think that's why I had that breakdown during the Frightmare weekend. Panic at the knowledge that I'm going to have to go all the way through this. There can be no hiding anymore. I could choose comfort, break up with him, and go back to living my life with all my systems. But I can't do that. Now that I've seen what life can be like, how much happiness I might be allowed to have.

This is just the hard part. The viscerally and uncomfortably HARD part. That I don't know how long will last or how much worse it might get. And, of course, there is a part of me terrified that I will always be this way. :(

[psychelis-new]

Hello hope you are doing fine 🙂 if your dream interpretation is still open, I'd like to participate please

The reason I want a dream interpretation is that I keep dreaming about someone being in relationship in my dreams for months now and I was wondering why I dream of him. Is it maybe a premonition dream or something else? And I will give you the context of my situation so you will understand more why I'm confused and dreaming about that person is so random

So I've been through a really bad breakup with someone I had been with for 10 years. Before the breakup, I already dreamed about someone who took me on a date showing me love and a better relationship, I was really happy in that dream. I don't remember his face but in the dream I found him really handsome. It was out of nowhere because I still with my ex and loved back then and didn't want to break up even though there were many difficulties, I wanted no one but him

After the breakup I was a mess but ironically my intuition became too strong, I started to predict random things. Then there was this dream about someone that only know/saw from socmed and we never met or spoke with each other. I dreamed about meeting his parents in their house because we were dating then I was talking to him alone outside near a river, he told me his parents professions.. it was too vivid that I started to do some researches about him. The dream was right about his parents jobs.. I tried to recall myself if I knew it from somewhere but no it was my first time hearing it

Months later I had a dream being in a party and someone ask me if I wanted them to take me home and I said no I'm going home with my husband, after I said that a guy showed up, took my hands then we rode his car. Till now I remembered that gentle feeling.. it was so soft and I still feel his love for me. I didn't remember his face but he has the same features (hair, ethnicity, physique,..) as the last person I mentioned. When I woke up, it was mind-blowing because I've never dreamed about having an husband before even with my ex like him as my husband.

And days ago again I dreamed about someone who I don't remember the face telling, trying to convince me that we are connected and he was with me during my past lives, will be with me this life too and in my future lives, in the dream I didn't believe him

So I'm here because I honestly don't know how to interpret those dreams and I don't understand why I dreamed about being with someone. After the breakup till now I've been sad, mad at my ex and still had feeling left for him. I'm not in any relationship or contact with someone. I'm not ready to date again unless I'm healed. I want to focus on myself first. Though sometimes I get curious about who will be my next partner or my fs or if I deserve to be loved but it's not important for me. I want to love myself first, dating is not my priority

Sorry for this long ask and thank you for reading it 🙏🏽

Hello My dreams interpretations are ALWAYS open y'all.

And ofc you deserve to be loved, that's out of question. Everyone does. And everyone does need to be loved properly (I understand it's something you probably still need to work on after that relationship so take your time to analyze it as well and bring yourself proper closure).

Going in order, when you dreamed about being with another person while you still were with your partner, it could have been your subconscious telling you there probably was something wrong in your relationship and that you had to check better the reason why you wanted to keep the relationship alive (what were the problems about and what kept you two together and all, if you had any fear related to ending the relationship, what it would have meant for you -Idk eg. failing, not being enough, feeling alone...- or such). This is one of the possible interpretations ofc, another one could have been that it was a communication about another relationship in store for you already.

For how amazing it is that you can tell me about all these dreams, there are many details missing for me to properly give you an interpretation of them and see better their meaning, try to be accurate. I ask for dreams descriptions because only through them I can get a proper view of what is going on for you. If not, I can't. I am sadly not inside your heart or mind, the only way is through your descriptions and from what you wrote, it could be anything: it could be that maybe you are indeed in 5d communication/connection with someone, your next partner or so, your soulmate or how you want to call them. Or maybe since you had this trauma of ending this relationship and fears connected to being able of being loved again and well, maybe that's what the dreams were all about: showing that yes, you can and will be loved again. That you only need to work through this situation and be more positive about what's next for you. Someone is being sent for you anyway and they will make it all better. Maybe it's both the things. You are in a connection with this person and they're coming soon in your life to make it all better, so try to be more positive about what's next and about your qualities and all that you are. Don't let your worries/fears about being lovable block you, cause they're not right.

As for vivid dreams: they may happen, expecially when we feel particularly stressed/agitated in our daily life or if there's a specific moon phase that interest our own chart as well. Intuitive hints/downloads/predictions may be part of them, as of other dreams though (and with this I am in no way trying to minimize the experience you had or saying it was wrong, at all. Just giving context: you may have predictions/downloads also in less vivid dreams).

And one last thing, if I may: I understand you want to wait to date again, in order to be completely healed, but... when do you consider yourself as being completed healed (what is your definition of it, I mean: cause generally being healed is not about not being triggered anymore, but having learned to react to triggers/fears/anxious thoughts in a healthier way for us)? And what if you need someone else to help you end your healing process, since it very likely regards your relationships too? What if this person needs to come in to help you complete the process (and you need to help them in something else too)? Focus on yourself, but do it not just to save yourself from further pain and block something good out of fear of not being ready: Universe knows better when you are (and your intuition does too: trust it as you noticed how well it works).

Best of lucks, take care<3

[nervousheartgiver]

I had a dream where, for some odd reason, I ended up sharing a large home with my ex and my best friend (potentially my next boyfriend?). My ex had a new boyfriend, and that didn't bother me, actually. What bothered me was the fact I thought we became friends again, but in the end it turns out her, her boyfriend, and a friend (possibly mutual) We just using my name and the home we shared for some sort of illegal bullshit. When I found I was so hurt and mad, I remember it feeling like she cheated. We ended up fighting, and I took the paper from her that had my name on it. I threatened to tell the police. Her boyfriend didn't get up but told her to get that from me. I ran into my room and showed Pops. He was confused and concerned. I asked him to take a picture of this for evidence, and when he did, she said that's why I deserved to be cheated on. Then I woke up and now I feel sad about it. But I know that wasn't actually her. I suppose I wouldn't be surprised if she said that in real life either, though.

For the sake of my own healing, though, I understand that it was actually my own subconscious, throwing my biggest insecure in my face. Why, though, I have no idea.

Why did my brain just re-traumatise me? Was it to see if it still had the same effect? Was it to see if there would be a different outcome? Tf was the purpose of that dream? And why did it still hurt so badly?

[thomcantsleep]

Benjamin Zephaniah

I woke up especially late today and discovered that Professor Benjamin Zephaniah had died following an ongoing battle with a brain tumour and it wasn't sadness I felt, it was shame. And it hasn't been the first time.

Benjamin Zephaniah has a strange, almost subliminal effect on my mind and possibly the collective consciousness. I don't think about his impact on my life and my creative upbringing and how he was integral to both until he finds his way back into my conscious through kismet. Then I realize what he has done for me in that moment and only that moment.

One time semi-recently, I was rooting through old, wrinkled books in my parents' room to decide what to keep and what to give away. Whatever exact books you are envisioning in your mind right now - let me tell you they were all there. Rankin, Patterson, Gerritsen but not just Sunday Times Bestsellers; C.S Lewis and Roald Dahl featured heavily from my parents' distant past as well.

There was another book that I don't remember owning but was apparently mine. I remember reading it in Year 8 English Lit but never buying it. It was a play called Face by Benjamin Zephaniah, a cautionary tale of how the reputation of a popular boy in school declines due to an accident that disfigures his face despite being essentially the same person.

It is disappointing to report to you, the reader, that my class did not like this play and it not being officially on the curriculum, it was sacked off. What I did as a 12 year old boy was knock one of the class copies of the book to read it in my own time. It was deeply interesting to me on a subconscious level because I grew up with people not liking me and not understanding exactly why.

I had forgotten all about this though and it's only sitting here now and remembering the several instances where my paths had crossed with Benjamin Zephaniah's work. Year 8 (8th Grade) was a tumultuous and impressionable time for me as I was at a crossroads between falling in with a bad crowd or concentrating on my love of books and writing and it's bizarre that that is the trade-off but societally, it is in school. If I hadn't read that play of my own volition, fuck knows what might have happened to me.

I'll share one more story.

Courtesy of De Montfort University

At my university, we had a surprise visit from the man himself where we were all made aware just a week in advance and excitement and tension shot through my veins. The only feeling I think I can compare it to is the combination of giddiness and dread thst cultivates in your stomach before you have your first kiss. It was a 10am lecture which I frequently struggled to get out of bed in the morning for. I was having difficult times in my social life and was suffering with anxious and depressive feelings a lot of the time. Knots and dread every morning. On that day, I was on campus two hours in advance.

I remember waiting in the lobby outside the theater for what felt like a lifetime and getting cold feet. I wanted to head back just because something in my head told me I was undeserving of being there. I don't know why those feelings existed in me but it's probably because I didn't have any questions for him, any books for him to sign and I was too scared to ask for a photo. I regretfully ended up having no interaction with him whatsoever.

As for his talk, he was as great as you'd expect him to be. He talked wondrously about his life story, the background of some of his most iconic poems as well as some perhaps lesser known tidbits but my main takeaway was how humble he was; putting himself below everyone in the room because he has zero academic achievement in his field. If nothing else, its indictive of the false credibility of the mechanics of academia. Especially after he had told us all of world experiences that would make your teeth itch.

From the official social media of Benjamin Zephaniah

And today, like every other time Benjamin Zephaniah has entered my conscious, it has been at a crossroads in my life where I struggle to sleep and wake up for my night job. It has been at a time when there have been doubts on my mind about my creative ability, where I'm going in my writing career and even if I will have one. I woke up to discover Benjamin Zephaniah had passed away and before I knew it, I was reading and watching everything that he had ever done.

And once again, I remember why I do this. Why I love this and why I want to achieve big things through prose and poetry. My will to not leave behind my dreams and accept consumption by the zeitgeist. Especially, in attitudes to how art is commercialized and capitalized in our modern world. Zephaniah preached absolute creative freedom. Anarchy in writing. He never shut up for anyone. He told the absolute truth and told it beautifully, no matter how stark the reality is.

Thanks to him, I will not throw this away.

This wasn't really a tribute so if you want to read one, I'd recommend reading this from my former lecturer, Prof. Simon Perril of De Montfort University.