#my sisters tell me ‘we all want you to graduate from a uni and find a good job .. dont end up like us’ and i feel so guilty | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

watchmegetobsessed · 4 years ago

Text

Waiting for you - Harry Styles

❄️ FANFICmas 2020 ❄️

Read more about FANFICmas here!

i wrote it over like a month ago, but kept it for today, i hope yall will like it! it’s a cute bestfriends to lovers fic, so yeah... happy holidays, hope you are having an amazing time!

word count: 13k

masterlist

Harry Styles has been a household name around your home, but not for the reason many would think. While for the rest of the world he was the famous singer, former member of One Direction and recent solo artist, the guy who performs at the biggest arenas, wins awards and sings his heart out through the radio, for you and your mom he was the goofy, curly haired boy who lived across the street with his mum, sister and stepdad.

You still remember all too clear the first time you met him. You and your mum just moved into your new home after the nasty divorce of your parents, ready to start a new life. You’ve barely turned twelve, it was quite the awkward stage of your teenage years, you were still trying to find yourself on the rocky road of growing up. Moving to a whole new town and switching schools were terrifying and you had quite a few nightmares about possible outcomes of being the new girl in the neighborhood.

You and your mum just finished unpacking the dishes in the kitchen when the doorbell rang. She rushed to answer it and you wandered behind her, curiously peeking at the guests under her arm as she held the door open.

“Hi! We saw the trucks and thought we would say hi! I’m Anne and this is my son, Harry,” the nice woman greeted your mum and stepping aside she gestured towards the teenage boy standing next to her.

His green eyes fell to you almost immediately and you forgot to breathe for a moment. You were not the kind to crush that easily on guys, well, not until you laid your eyes on Harry. He smirked at you, nodding in your way in such an easy-going manner and you could feel the heat crawling up your neck to your cheeks and ears.

Anne and your mum quickly became good friends. She was the rock your mum definitely needed after such a bad year behind her and you were glad she found support in such a wonderful woman as Anne. Their newly funded friendship got stronger day by day until the two families just… simply felt one.

Growing up the Styles siblings and Anne came and go in your home as if they lived there too. On many occasions you came home from school only to find Anne in the kitchen while your mother wasn’t even home. Anne always knew when your mum was working the night shift at the hospital where she was a nurse and always made sure you had a warm dinner on those evenings, often inviting you over to just stay at theirs while your mum was away working. Birthdays, graduations, Easters and Christmases, they were all spent at either yours or at the Styles home, strengthening the bond between the two families.

You have always had a strong friendship with Gemma, but maybe because you were closer in age or for something else, but you became the closest with Harry. Two peas in a pod, as your mums liked to call the two of you. You weren’t just neighbors or good friends, it was clear to anyone and to both of you as well that you were the best of friends. You were there for each other at the best and worst of times, before and after Harry’s launch to stardom. You were there with him all along, sometimes physically, sometimes just through text messages and reassuring calls when he just needed a piece of his home away from home. Late night calls and talks were your usual when he was on the road and he made sure to only talk about his life after you’ve told him everything about yours, even if the most interesting thing was that you were able to buy three socks for the price of two. Harry listened and cared for everything that happened to you, not letting you think even for a moment that he would forget about his best friend when he is on the other side of the planet.

The two of you grew up together and while his life consisted of concerts, screaming fans, telly appearances and award shows, your mundane everydays went on the same was as any normal young girl’s: you graduated from high school, went to uni and then started a career for yourself. As time was moving it became a little more and more complicated to stay as close as you used to, though, both of you terribly busy with your own personal lives, so the calls, texts and meetings became less frequent, but you were always able to pick up from where you left, it was as easy with him as it could be.

Maybe that’s why you grew to love him in a more than friendly way through the years. Slowly, but surely you started to realize what an amazing man he really was –is. It was impossible not to fall for him, however you valued your close friendship more than to just ruin it with dropping a bomb on Harry. You always thought he doesn’t feel the same way, so you were sadly left with your daydreams and fantasies about him only your bedroom walls heard.

This year it’s gonna be the tenth Christmas you get to celebrate together, quite the anniversary. There were only two years when you didn’t see each other during the holidays, the first one because you and your mum spent it in Canada with some relatives that live there, and the second one was because Harry couldn’t come home a few years ago, having a too tight schedule. But this year, everyone made sure to make it back home in time. Harry called you three month before Christmas to check in if you are still gonna coming home.

“Would be an idiot not to. Can’t wait to stuff my head with cookies!” you chuckled.

“Have you found your sweater yet?” Harry questioned, the muffled noise of the traffic around him broke through the line as he was on his way home when he called.

“Not yet. But I’ve been looking. I’m pretty sure I’m gonna win this year,” you smirked in victory.

“Oh, not so fast with the assumptions, little girl!” he warned you making you laugh.

The two of you had a kind of tradition. Every year, you go on mission to find the ugliest Christmas sweaters one could find, and then perform a chosen song at the karaoke machine after dinner, entertaining the rest of the family. Those performances are the best memories you nurse. Your absolute favorite one was just a couple of years ago when Harry’s sweater was filled with weird looking reindeers in quite inappropriate poses, he even added a glittery pair of sunnies and he sang I Want To Break Free from the Queen. Everyone was on the floor laughing as he took the living room by storm as if it was the Maddison Square Garden filled with thousands of screaming fans, while it was just the five of you.

He won that year, Hell, even you voted on him, giving him the cleanest win of all times, but you swore to live up to that performance and you really feel like this year is gonna be your chance to live up to that promise. You have quite some tricks up your sleeves.

These past couple of years you were anxiously waiting for the holidays to roll around, because you knew you would get to spend so much time with Harry and through the year, even with several occasions of the two of you meeting, you missed him dearly. Sometimes you selfishly wished he would have just stayed the boy across the street so your lives could take tracks that run at least close to each other, but you always reminded yourself that his work was his life and you would have never taken away his true passion and happiness. Besides, you love watching him perform from time to time, that was just one of your favorite sides of him, see his eyes shine so bright as he sang to his fans. You used to envy the fangirls, it always seemed like he had a special connection with them, but you realized that you were one of them. You felt the same excitement when he stepped on the stage, you bought all his albums, even though he made sure you’d be one of the first people to get your hands on it. You had a second copy of them, because buying it gave you the extra jolt of happiness and the feeling that you were a tiny part of his success too. You watched all his music videos, knew the lyrics to his songs and cheered on him whenever he won another award. Difference was that at the end of the day you could call him and tell him how proud you were of him and he stared back at you with that beautiful grin, his dimples digging deep in his cheeks, telling you that he wouldn’t be here without you. You always knew he just said it to make you feel special, but he insisted it was the truth.

“I’m telling you. It you weren’t with me I would have gone crazy already, pulling a Justin Bieber or summat. Don’t think you are any less than what you are, that’s just daft.”

Every time he said something along those lines those damned butterflies in your stomach went crazy and you tried your best to ignore them. You didn’t always succeed, but the effort was there.

Now it’s two days before Christmas and you are already standing in your old room after coming home from London, leaving your small but cozy little apartment empty until the next year. The walls are still the same lilac color you chose when you were fourteen, a twin bed is pushed against the wall under your window, the wardrobe’s door is littered with old pictures from high school and ones you cut out from magazines. You just never got around to take them down and after a while it brought you a comforting sense every time you came home. A warm nostalgia took over you when you saw them, so they eventually stayed.

Your suitcase is lying on the floor as you unpack some stuff you’ll be using often during your stay, but you don’t get far in the packing when you hear an all too familiar voice coming from downstairs. Leaving your stuff as it is you rush down and throw your arms around Anne from behind, who is standing in the kitchen with your mum.

“My sweet angel! How are you?!” she cheers turning around in your hold to hug you back, giving you a tight squeeze before she pushes you away so she can have a good look on you. “Swear you get prettier every time I see you!”

“Stop it, my head’s gonna get big,” you chuckle feeling yourself blushing a little.

“Never gonna stop praising my daughter,” she smiles and gifts you with a cheeky wink.

Anne was never shy to let you know that she thought of you as a second daughter and you still remember how it felt when she called you that for the first time. It felt nice to know that you could count on her no matter what.

The three of you chat in the kitchen, Anne asks you about your job and how things have been going, she hasn’t seen you in a while. You missed the times when you could just go across the street and have a talk with her whenever you wanted, but since you’ve moved to London, Harry wasn’t the only one you didn’t get to see as often as you would have wanted. Your job and life overall got you so busy sometimes, you barely had time to call your own mum.

“Harry is arriving this evening. Wanna come with us to fetch him up at the airport?” she asks you and of course you say yes. You wouldn’t miss the chance to greet him with a bone crushing hug just after he lands.

However, as the time nears when you’d have to leave to the airport, Anne calls you up and asks if you could go on your own.

“I didn’t finish cooking and Gems is in an online meeting. Would you mind if you went alone?” she asks and though it sounds a little made up, you don’t question her.

On your way to the airport you are nervously drumming on the wheel, the thought of seeing Harry excites and worries you a little. It’s been months since you last seen him in the flesh and though you’ve talked plenty of times on the phone and in video calls, it’s just not the same. You find yourself wondering if he still smells the same, if you’ll fit the same way into his embrace as before. When you were younger you often liked to think about the two of you as two pieces of legos when you hugged. Your frame just fitted so perfectly against his body, he was your absolutely favorite person to hug.

Standing in a corner at the terminal, you keep checking the board until his flight’s status changes to landed. Then your eyes are glued to the sliding glass doors, knowing well it’s gonna take him some time to get his bags and walk out, but you are just way too excited to finally see him again.

People start walking through the doors and your head perks up every time you see a slightly tall frame, only to realize it’s still not him. Until it is.

You can’t bite your growing smile back when you spot him, a beanie and the hood of his hoodie covering his mop of hair, sunnies hiding his eyes, but you’d recognize him even from just the tiniest detail. You push yourself away from the wall as you see him look around, probably searching for his mum and sister, because he was already on his way when Anne decided it’s gonna be you who fetches him up, so he doesn’t know about the change.

“Excuse me, can I get a picture?” you ask teasingly walking up to him and for a moment you can tell he believes it’s a fan who recognized him, but his face quickly changes once his eyes land on you.

“Fo’ fuck’s sake, you had me for a second,” he breathes out, his arms already reaching out to pull you against him and you gladly envelop yourself into his hold. “What are you doing here?” he mumbles tightening his arms around you, and you don’t mind it. As you face is pressed into his shoulder you smile when you realize that he still smells the same. Like home.

“Your mum asked me to come and get you because she didn’t finish cooking. But if you ask me she just wanted to surprise you with me. You happy to see me?” you smirk up at him letting your head fall back so you could look into his eyes.

��Always,” he grins before placing a soft kiss to your temple and letting go of you.

The two of you leave the terminal before anyone could recognize him and packing his stuff up into the car you head back home.

You hand your phone over to him once you hit the road so he can be in charge of the music and it’s no surprise when he starts playing Christmas music straight away. Grinning to yourself you glance over at him and see him scrolling through your camera roll like the nosy little gremlin that he is.

“Hey! I did not give you permission to snoop around my phone!” you warn him, but don’t try to snatch it away from him, there’s really nothing he shouldn’t see, besides, half of those pics have been sent to him through messages.

“Just tryna catch up w’ you,” he mumbles under his breath, continuously opening up photos he is interested in. “New couch, eh?” he asks showing you the screen for a second.

“Yeah, bought it a few weeks ago. You like it?”

“Looks comfy. I should try it out sometime.”

“You never sleep on my couch, what are you talking about?”

“Right, you always drag me t’ your bed,” he snorts and you gasp at him, smacking his chest gently.

“That’s so not true! You always just arbitrarily make yourself comfortable in my bed and I don’t have the heart to kick you out,” you correct him.

There hasn’t been many times when Harry crashed at your place, but when he did, he always slept in your bed with you, and the two of you have shared a bed a few other times prior too. It’s nothing new, though it does have a deeper meaning for you than for him, you think. Waking up with Harry snoring lightly next to you, admiring how peaceful and beautiful he is in this intimate state, you just wish you could see him like this all the time.

Harry smirks at you cheekily, scrunching his nose as he chuckles.

“’Cause I wouldn’t want to sleep anywhere else, Love,” he says before turning his attention back to your phone while you try to ignore the butterflies in your stomach at the nickname.

It’s quite late by the time you get home, you’ve run into some traffic, but it just meant more time with Harry. You gladly listened to his stories and you are happy you got some alone time with him. Parking up to your driveway you help him unload his bags before locking the car.

“Wanna go to the Christmas market in the morning? Promised Gemma I’d go with her and Michal,” he asks, slowly walking down the driveway towards his home.

“Uh, sure,” you nod smiling. Not that you had any other plans, the holidays are reserved for family and the Styles’ are family.

“Great, I’ll be here at ten. And thanks for the ride,” he smirks waving goodbye and you watch him cross the street before he disappears in his home and you do the same.

“Y/N? Is that you?” your mum calls out when you walk in.

“Were you expecting anyone else?” you ask, hanging your coat before you join her in the living room.

“Not,” she smiles giddily. “Was everything alright at the airport?”

You throw your legs over her lap and she squeezes your ankles playfully.

“Yeah, everything fine.”

“How is Harry?”

“Cheeky and smug, as always,” you huff smirking.

“Can’t wait to see him. I feel like I haven’t seen ‘im in ages.”

“When are they coming over tomorrow?”

“Anne said she’ll come around four to help me cook, the rest I don’t know. Dinner will be done around seven though.”

“I’m pretty sure Gemma and Harry will be here along with Anne,” you snort, knowing well they wouldn’t miss a chance to come over, especially Harry. He has been talking nonstop how he’ll be glued to your hip once he is back home, making up for all the time you’ve spent apart.

“They surely will,” your mum chuckles before you both turn your attention at the telly.

You go to bed way after midnight and finish up the packing you left abruptly when you left to get Harry. Shuffling around in your room you glance out the window and see that the light in Harry’s room is on too. Peeking out you lean against the window’s frame, thinking about the times when the two of you sat in the window, talking on the phone after curfew, keeping your voice down so your parents didn’t wake up, sharing secrets and your silliest thoughts. With Harry, you never felt like you had to keep anything back, he would have never judged you for anything, you could be your true self around him and vice versa.

A tall figure appears at the window and as Harry glances out his window he is quick to see you sitting on the window sill, your head resting against the frame. The two houses are not far away from each other and you see him grinning as he sits at the window as well, pulling out his phone, a moment later yours starts buzzing on the nightstand. You quickly grab it, and go back to the window.

“Creeping on me, eh?” he hums into the phone and you roll your eyes at him.

“Was just admiring the street lights, don’t flatter yourself, your head is getting too big,” you huff, but you can’t push your smirk down.

“Admit it, you were hoping to see me roam around naked, weren’t you?”

“As if I haven’t seen you like that before,” you snort making him laugh too. It’s true, Harry has never been shy to get rid of his clothes and he also doesn’t bother to draw the blinds whenever he is changing. You once saw him butt naked when he was nineteen, and when you told him to close the blinds next time he is changing, he just shrugged with a smug smile.

“’M not ashamed of anything, Love,” he told you and you had to turn away because you were blushing for sure.

“Right, you’re a fan of putting yourself on full display when you’re naked, almost forgot,” you chuckle shaking your head. “Millions of girls have the picture of you, lying naked on their walls.”

“You one of them?” he cheekily asks.

“Nah, doesn’t go well with the vibe of my apartment.”

“Shame. Though I think it would definitely look amazin’ above your bed, Love.”

“Now would it? I don’t know about that.”

“I’ll get you a copy framed,” he smirks and you can see it clear even from the distance. “Y’ know what? I’ll make you an exclusive one. One that nobody else has, how does that sound?”

“I can’t believe you, Styles,” you chuckle shaking your head. “I’m not gonna answer this, just gonna head to bed. You should too.”

“So we’re not sharing any secrets like we used to? Thought you’d have something fo’ me.”

“You know everything, Harry,” you sigh with a soft smile, though your heart skips a beat. He does know everything, except one big, fat, heavy secret you’ve been carrying around for way too long, that will probably stay with you forever.

“Right. Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow.” “Night, Harry.”

“Good night, Love,” he murmurs and you know he is smiling, thought he steps away from the window as he says goodbye and you do the same before ending the call.

***

“Hey! That’s mine!” you protest as Harry steals another roasted chestnut from your little paper bag, but you can’t stay mad at him when he is smiling at you so sweetly.

“Sorry, tastes better when it’s someone else’s.”

“Sure,” you snort and just let him get as many as he wants. You wouldn’t have eaten it all anyway.

It’s quite cold out in the town, but at least there’s no rain or storm, so the weather didn’t try to ruin your little trip to the Christmas market.

Gemma calls out for Harry to show him something and you just keep wandering between the booths, enjoying the atmosphere quite a lot, you have no idea when was the last time you got to come to the market, though you always loved coming when you were younger.

Finishing up your chestnuts you throw the paper bag into a trash can and turn around to find the rest of your little group, spotting Harry and Gemma deep in discussion next to a booth that offers handmade ceramic mugs. As you walk closer it almost seems like as if they were having a fight, which is just odd, they rarely do that.

“Just get your head out of your arse!” you catch Gemma telling her brother who only groans in frustration before he spots you, a smile plastering across his face.

“Hey, there you are!” he beams.

“Everything alright?” you ask looking at them.

“Sure, just Gemma is being a little nosy, is all,” Harry waves in dismiss. You glance over to Gems, but she is already back in discussion with Michal so you decide to drop it. “You ate all the chestnuts?” Harry asks offended, throwing an arm around your shoulders.

“Well, it was mine, so of course I ate them!”

“Selfish,” he narrows his eyes at you, but you both know it’s just a joke.

You walk further down in the aisle, occasionally stopping at some of the booth when you spot a place that offers hot chocolate in cute little mugs that you can take home with you if you’d like, or just take it back and get your money back.

“Oh look!” you gasp excitedly and head towards the hot chocolate booth. The old lady smiles brightly at the two of you as you take a look at all the choices. “Oh my god, they have caramel flavored!” you cheer, basically already drooling at the thought of a good, caramel flavored hot chocolate.

“What can I get for the lovely couple?” the lady smiles warmly at the two of you and you freeze at her assumption.

“Oh we—“ you start, but Harry cuts you off.

“A caramel flavored and a plain one, please,” he orders, without even batting an eye about how the lady just called you a couple. You can feel your cheeks heating up at the thought, but you try to calm yourself. He probably just didn’t want to get into explaining that you two are not an item and let her think what she wanted.

The nice lady hands you your mug and you take Harry’s as well as he pays for both of them. You would try to argue with him and pay yours, but you are already used to how stubborn he is and he never lets you split anything, it’s always on him.

“Thank you, have a nice day!” Harry calls out to the lady before the two of you leave. You peek at him handing him his mug, looking for any clue that would give away if this little scene got him just as bothered as it did you, but he looks perfectly fine and relaxed, so you decide not to bring it up. You’re sure he didn’t think much of it.

Your little stroll stretches into the afternoon, the four of you decide to have lunch out there too, then you just opt for a walk in town as Gemma wants to do a quick last minute Christmas shopping, so by the time you get home Anne is already over at yours helping your mum with dinner. Tonight you are all eating at yours, then tomorrow it’s the Styles’ turn to host, this is how you agreed this year.

“Woah, it smells amazing!” you call out walking into the house. The delicious smells fill up the whole place and you hear the two women giggling in the kitchen.

“Hi Honey, how was the market?” your mum greets you, a glass of red wine in her hand and the same goes for Anne.

“Great, we have a new mug,” you say holding up the emptied out hot chocolate mug. Stepping to the sink you wash it quickly and drying off you put it away in one of the cabinets.

You stick around in the kitchen and not so much later Harry comes over, the two of you leave your mums alone and get comfortable in front of the telly.

All channels are filled with holiday movies and you don’t mind, really, you like them all even if you’ve seen them a million times, you still find them funny and cute. Harry feels the same way, so when you settle on Love Actually he doesn’t say a word.

What startles you is that he grabs your ankles and pulls your legs over his lap, a small shriek escaping your mouth since you weren’t expecting him to do that. You’re sitting sideways, your legs are bent at the knee and Harry is kind of hugging them as his eyes are glued to the screen.

You find it rather hard to focus on the movie when Harry’s fingers keep fidgeting on your legs, they keep running up and down, sometimes he lays his hands flat on your knees, there’s no spot he hasn’t touched since you started watching the movie.

About an hour into the film he turns to you and you look at him in question.

“’M in the mood to cuddle,” he announces and starts moving around, not even letting you protest as he basically crawls to your lap, resting his head on your stomach as the two of you lay on the couch.

“Am I now your personal pillow?” you ask chuckling, but you wouldn’t want him to move for anything. Feeling him weigh down on you just feels so warm and simple but amazing.

“The best one,” he mumbles, bringing a hand to your side as you let your fingers comb through his curls.

You keep massaging his scalp and he lets out soft moans when you go over a soft spot, you can’t help but chuckle as he melts under your hands. His fingers start drawing circles on your side and the movie is long forgotten by you, all you can focus on is how great it is to have Harry so close to you. He is known to be a physical person, you are used to hugs and touches, but it seems like he is a little needier now than the usual.

You don’t mind it though, you just try to enjoy the moment, because it can end anytime.

Gemma and Michal come over a little before seven, and while your mums finish up the cooking the four of you set the table. You grab the crystal glasses and start placing them to the table, Harry lending you a hand. Once the table is all set you shuffle into the kitchen to see if there’s anything you can help with, Harry following you behind, placing a hand to the small of your back.

As you stand and wait for you mum to finish up the meals so you can help carry them to the table you feel Harry’s hand wander over to your hip, giving it a squeeze as he stands closer, so his chest is pressed against your back.

“Harry?” you ask a little out of breath.

“Hm?” he innocently hums.

“What’s with you today?” Turning your head to the side your eyes lock with his, but he just shrugs smiling.

“Guess I just missed yeh a lot.”

“You’re weird,” you chuckle shaking your head, but don’t make an effort to push him away. His touch feels way too good to put an end to it and you just want to be selfish a little longer.

His hands leave you when the two of you help to bring the food to the table, and you almost wish they would just return, but you gotta swallow the thought.

The food is amazing, as always. You all sip on some wine, just having a genuinely good time, enjoying that all of you are back at one place, something that rarely happens now that all three of you kids are all grown up.

At one point Harry rests his arm on the back of your chair, no one seems to notice but you. All these little things have been driving you crazy all day and your mind seems to be playing a nasty game with you. There’s no way Harry thinks of these details more than what they are, a friendly gesture towards an old friend of his.

When Gemma is telling a story about some weird guy she met at work Harry reaches up and pushes your hair behind your ear, his finger lingering over your neck a little longer than you would have expected. Turning to face him you give him a questioning look, not sure what to think about his needy and touchy self all of a sudden.

“What?” you mouth him, but he just smiles at you absentmindedly, curling a strand of hair around his finger, playing with it for a moment before letting go of it and going for another lock. You reach up and pull his hand away, feeling yourself heating up from his touch, but when you are about to let go of his hand he grabs yours, lacing your fingers together with yours as he rests them on his thigh.

“Harry…” you breathe out, glancing at the others, relieved to see that they are not paying much attention to the two of you.

“What? Am I not allowed to touch you?” he asks with a smug smirk and you roll your eyes at him.

“As I said, you’re weird,” you mumble under your breath looking down at your now empty plate. Harry gives your hand a squeeze.

“But like, the good kind of weird, yeah?”

“Shut up,” you chuckle shaking your head at him.

You try to tell yourself he is just needy because it’s been so long since you last saw each other. It can’t be more, you push even the smallest thought to the back of your mind, though it surely lingers there throughout the evening.

He helps you with washing the dishes, you stand arm to arm at the sink as you scrub the plates and hand over to him for drying. He gently hums to himself all along, swaying his hips, bumping against yours. At first you resist it, but then you catch the rhythm and start moving along, so your hips meet in the middle before swinging to the opposite side.

“What’s the song?” you ask finishing up the last plate.

“Just something random,” he shrugs smirking over at you. You hand him the last plate, he is still singing, making up gibberish lyrics to his song and once he puts the plate down he throws the kitchen cloth to the counter and easily grabs your waist pulling you against him as he starts swaying with you to his impromptu song. You let out a small shriek at the sudden movement, but eventually melt into his hold. The humming slowly turns into an all too familiar melody as Harry starts singing Sweet Creature into your ear, slow dancing in the kitchen while you hear your mums and Gemma laugh outside somewhere.

Your hands run up his arms and stop behind his neck as you lock your fingers and let him hold you close, his palms are pressed to your waist, fingers gently stroking you through the fabric of your shirt. You take a deep breath and his cologne fills your nose, one of your favorite scents, sometimes you just wish you could spray it on your pillow so it would always smell like him.

“Sweet creature, wherever I go, you bring me home…” he softly sings, leaning back just enough for your eyes to meet. It feels like your heart is about to burst out of your chest, it’s not the first time you feel so intimidated by him, like you could pass out any moment, but this is a little different. As if his eyes were telling you another story, but you can’t completely make up the words.

“Sweet creature, when I run out of road, you bring me home, you’ll bring me home.” He finishes the song, hums the closing melody and you watch him in complete awe. Your lips part when you catch his gaze move down to them and you swear you see him leaning closer, as if he is about to kiss you. Your breath gets caught in your throat, he is so close, just a few more inches and you’d taste those perfect lips of his, the ones you’ve been dreaming about for way too long.

It almost happens, it seems, but just when that last push is about to set in Gemma waltz into the kitchen and you step back faster than light, pushing him away even though the sudden lack of his touch is more painful than you were expecting.

“You guys—Oh, what’s up?” she asks stopping at the door and you feel yourself getting redder with each passing moment, the heat crawling up your neck, ears cheeks, right to the top of your head. What were you thinking? You let yourself believe Harry would ever kiss you, this whole scene was nothing more than just a friendly moment the two of you were sharing.

“I’m—sorry,” you breathe out making your way out of the kitchen, right up to your room to have some well needed space.

“Way to ruin everything,” Harry snickers at his sister.

“You joking? You wanted to kiss her in her mum’s kitchen?” Gemma snaps at him in disbelief.

“We were having a moment,” he mumbles rubbing his face with his hands. “Up until you stomped in with your big mouth.”

“Well, if you were havin’ a moment, just make it happen again.”

“As if it’s that easy, Gemma!” he scoffs throwing his hands in the air.

“Man up and tell her how you feel, don’t have to complicate it too much,” she shrugs before walking out and leaving her brother alone. Harry growls in frustration, the gears in his head turning wildly as he is trying to figure out how to come clear to you about his feelings.

Meanwhile, up in your room you get out your laptop and busy yourself with checking up on messages and emails you’ve been ignoring, hoping that the uneasy feeling in your chest will ease very soon. Your hands were shaking when you locked yourself up in your room, but as you get focused on other tasks you slowly gain your balance back.

You kind of even forget that the Styles’ were over, you only realize that you abruptly pulled yourself out of the evening when there’s a soft knock on your door.

“Come on in!” you call out and a moment later Harry’s head pops in, eyes softly falling on your sitting figure on the bed. “Hey,” you smile at him faintly.

“Hey. Thought you were sleepin’s or summat.” Coming inside he closes the door behind him then sits on your plush rug in the middle of the room.

“Just… sorted some work related things out,” you sigh.

“Working during the holidays? Tha’s not healthy.”

“I know, I’m done,” you smile shutting the laptop down and putting it aside. “Sorry I disappeared, I just—“

“No worries,” Harry shakes his head. “Mum and Gems went home, they thought you were sleeping too, tha’s why they didn’t say goodbye.”

“Oh, alright.”

“But I thought we could have a sleepover,” he peeks at you with a boyish smile.

“What, like we did in middle school?” you chuckle.

“Yea, thought it would be fun.”

“Well, I don’t think my bed would fit us comfortably and we don’t have the mattress anymore that you used to sleep on,” you tell him looking around.

“Nonsense, I’m not tha’ big,” he insists hopping to his feet and throwing himself on the bed, ignoring that you’re already there. His body takes up more than half on the bed , limbs wrapping around you as he brings you down to the mattress next to him, you can’t help the laugh that leaves your lips.

“You’re like a gigantic baby, Harry!” you laugh as he keeps you down on the bed with his arm.

“It’s perfectly fine for two people,” he mumbles with a smirk, closing his eyes as his head sinks into your pillow.

“Do you ever get no as an answer?” you ask looking at him in awe. You can never get used to seeing him so up close, like not many get to.

“No,” he huffs in satisfaction, his arm bringing you closer to him and you just giggle at him.

“I’m not sleeping just yet, gotta have a shower first.”

“Do what you want, I’ll be here,” he mumbles but you snort at him.

“You’re not sleeping in my bed without having a shower,” you tell him before you grab your pajamas and head to the bathroom.

You have a quick shower and get done with all your evening business. Returning to your room you find Harry sitting on the floor, his back against the side of the bed as he is scrolling through his phone.

“Does mum know you’re staying over?” you ask him as you throw your used clothes into the hamper, moving around the room while feeling his eyes on you.

“Yeah. ‘S all good.”

“You need a towel?”

“Yes please,” he says pushing himself up from the floor.

“Clothes?” you ask with an arched brow. He just grins at you and it’s enough of an answer. “Here,” you give him the shirt and sweats he has left at yours quite some time ago, along with a clean towel.

“Thanks,” he smirks before leaving to occupy the bathroom.

He doesn’t take long in there, you’re lying in bed already when he returns, smelling like your shower gel, strawberry and melon.

He throws his clothes to the chair in the corner and then lies beside you on the bed. You scoot over to the wall to give him space, but he is quick to bring you closer to him once he has made himself comfortable. You lay your head on his shoulder as you are both scrolling through your phones.

When you had enough, you throw yours to the nightstand, and stay cuddled up to his side.

“Do you remember the last time I slept here?” he asks tossing his phone to the nightstand and bringing his arms around you.

“Mm, was it at my twentieth birthday?”

“Yeah. You were so wasted,” he chuckles and you smirk to yourself

“But you took good care of me.”

“I did. You were so cute, rambling about how much you love me when I took you home from the pub.”

You bite into your bottom lip. You still remember that night vividly. Your birthday party had gone a little wild and you had gotten drunker than you intended to. Luckily, he was there to bring your home and he stayed in the bathroom with you as you threw up everything you ate and drank that evening. Then he made you take a shower, got you fresh clothes out and helped you get into bed. He slept next to you that night, holding you in his arms, gently caressing your back and upper arm as you fell into your drunken slumber. In the morning you told yourself he just did what any other friend would do, helping you out when you were clearly knocked out, but he made you breakfast in the morning since your mum was working all night and morning and he stayed over later the afternoon to make sure you were alright.

What you told him in your drunken state about loving him, it wasn’t just your friendly side, it was your drunken self coming clear to him, telling him that you are in love with him, but he didn’t take it seriously and you were too ashamed and awkward to even bring it up to him after that, so it was all forgotten very soon.

Following that you planned on telling him how you feel, several times. You even wrote a little speech you planned to give him when the time comes, but you couldn’t do it. The fear of losing him if he doesn’t feel the same was stronger than you expected and every time you had the chance to come clear, you chickened out. The thought of losing him as a friend is way worse than having to push your feelings down... forever. You just can’t imagine your life without Harry in it and you can’t risk losing him.

The two of you talk for quite a while, laughing about the good old times, until you both fall asleep. Sometime in the middle of the night you wake up and feel Harry wrapped around you, his head lying on your chest as he is snoring softly. He truly is like a big baby, an arm thrown over your stomach, his legs tangled with yours. Good Lord, how amazing it feels to have him so close to you!

Reaching up you tangle your fingers through his hair gently so he doesn’t wake up, his soft curls glide between your fingers easily and lifting your head you kiss the top of his head before letting yourself drift back to sleep.

When you open your eyes the next time the situation is the opposite, you are the one cuddled up to Harry’s side who is scrolling through his phone with one hand, keeping the other one on your arm.

“Mornin’, sleepy head,” he chuckles softly when he sees you awake.

“Mmm, what time is it?” you ask letting your head rest on his chest a little longer.

“Quarter to nine. You can sleep a little more if you want, it’s not that late.”

“No, I promised mum I’d help her wrap gifts,” you sigh rolling over to your stomach as you push yourself up to your elbows to look at him. “Love the double chin you got going there,” you tease him sleepily and he just smirks.

“Yea? Quite cute, right? Worked a lot on it,” he jokes running his finger over it before letting out a chuckle. “Ready for our battle today?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be. You are going down this year, Styles,” you tell him pushing yourself up into a sitting position. Harry only pushes himself further on the bed enough to rest his head against the headboard.

“Oh really? I wouldn’t be that sure about tha’,” he warns you, but you are feeling pretty confident about your performance this year. There’s no way he can top it.

“We’ll see. Alright, I need a coffee. Want something for breakfast?” you ask him crawling out of the bed.

“Yeah, that would be nice.”

Your mum is already in the kitchen, sipping on her morning coffee while reading the paper. She doesn’t find it even a bit weird that Harry spent the night at yours, it’s been quite the usual for you. Harry helps you make eggs and bacon and the three of you eat together, having a lovely time and you genuinely feel like it’s just like in the good old times when you were still living home and Harry wasn’t Harry Styles, but the boy from across the street.

He goes home after breakfast to help his own mum with the cooking for tonight’s dinner and you don’t do much for the rest of the day, just spend time with your mum, watch movies and relax. It’s nice to unwind after such a busy year behind you.

Not long before five you go to take a shower and get ready to head over to the Styles’ and you pack everything you’ll need for the evening: gifts, ugly sweater, accessories. Harry is going down this year for sure.

It’s a little past six when you and your mum walk across the street, Anne’s Christmas lights are putting the little town house into the spirit for sure. You don’t even ring the bell, just walk straight in, like you always do. The Christmas tree stands tall in their living room and the table is already nicely set. Gemma and Michal are snuggled up on the couch while Harry is helping Anne in the kitchen with the finishing touches.

“I’m rooting for you this year,” Gemma winks at you when you set down your bag in the corner that has everything you’ll need for your performance.

“He’s gonna lose this round,” you smirk proudly, very sure in yourself.

Harry greets you with a bright smile and a tight hug when he walks into the living room, as if you didn’t just see each other a few hours earlier.

When the food is ready you all sit down to eat, and though you’re trying your best to focus on the conversation, you’re getting excited about tonight’s karaoke battle.

“Anxious much?” Harry asks you quietly.

“Why are you asking?”

He doesn’t answer, just places a hand to your thigh stopping it from shaking, making you realize you’ve been probably bouncing it all along. He smirks at you as you just roll your eyes at him.

“’S okay, you can handle one more year of losing,” he teases you and you give him an arched eyebrow.

“Don’t be so full of yourself, Harry,” you warn him, but he just squeezes your thigh again before bringing his hands back up to the table, leaving you a little breathless with his touch.

You all help clean up the table after dinner and when it’s done, you gather in the living room to open gifts.

When Harry’s career launched, the first few years you felt anxious about gifting him, because you felt like you couldn’t give him enough. He had all the money and bought everything he needed for himself, there wasn’t much you could give him. But when one time, you admitted to him this struggle of yours he assured you that it doesn’t matter what you give him, it’ll always be precious to him.

“You thought about me, you took the time to buy something for me, and that’s more than enough, Y/N,” he told you and though it took you time, but you got used to it. Especially when you saw the same excitement in his eyes every time you gifted something to him, you slowly but surely realized he wasn’t expecting a Gucci suit, but a thoughtful gesture.

Gathering in the living room you open the presents one by one and just as always, everyone was quite creative with the gifts. You can’t help but still feel a little anxious when Harry grabs his gift from you. Giving you an excited look he unties the little bow on the top and tears the wrapping paper off.

“Y/N!” he breathes out, eyes softening as he pulls the knitted cardigan out of the box.

“I always saw you wearing all sorts of cardigans and so I finally had a reason to learn how to knit, so I thought I would make one for you,” you ramble as he holds up the baby blue cardigan that has little daisies all over the front. It took you an entire week to just make the daisies, you worked on the whole cardigan for more than two months, usually in the middle of the night, staying up until unholy hours to finish in time.

But Harry’s smile is worth it all, he is beaming, clearly so in love with what you made him, so you breathe out relieved. He then puts it aside and wraps his arms around you pulling you into the tightest hug.

“Thank you, I love it so much,” he mumbles and kisses your temple and you breathe in his sweet scent, burying yourself in his embrace, hugging his waist.

When you part, Harry reaches for a box from under the tree and hands it to you, a nervous smile tugging on his lips. You can tell he wrapped the gift himself, the silver wrapping paper is a little uneven, but the huge rainbow colored bow on the top is the perfect touch that makes it like a piece of him.

You carefully tear the paper off, peeking inside you just see a plain box that doesn’t give much away. Glancing up at Harry you see how he is anxiously biting his bottom lip, even though you’d be happy with a gift as small as a candle. It’s the thought that counts.

“I-I wasn’t sure if this was the one you mentioned to me, so I hope it’s gonna be alright,” he mumbles, eyes fixed on your hands as they open the box, while you try to think back what you have told him about that caught his attention, but you just can’t recall what you wanted to get so badly you told Harry about it.

As you open the box you don’t process what it is immediately, the plastic wrapper making it hard to figure it out, but when you carefully pull out the object, you gasp in surprise.

“Harry!” you breathe out as you pull off the plastic of the old, vintage polaroid camera. It’s not one of these new types you can buy in stores easily, this is a classic, must have quite a history behind it.

Now you vaguely remember talking about longing for an oldschool, vintage camera, but it was months ago and you’ve forgotten about the whole thing since these devices cost a fortune because there aren’t many left from them. But now there’s one in your hands, because Harry not only listened to you, but he remembered and went out of his way to find you one in amazing condition.

“This must have cost a fortune!” you huff, your heart pounding in your chest, though you already know it doesn’t matter to him.

“This face is worth every penny,” he smiles at you softly before you throw yourself at him for another round of hugging. This man surely knows how to have you wrapped around his fingers.

The two of you sit on the floor as you figure out how to make the camera work, Harry bought everything needed, so you have a few packs of films as well. When it’s all done you bring it up to your face and aim it at Harry. It takes him a moment to realize that you’re about to snap your first photo and he tries to snatch the camera away, but it’s too late, the flash goes off and the device pushes out the undeveloped picture.

“You wasted your first snap on me?” he protests rubbing his eyes after the flash blinded him for a little.

“It’s not a waste,” you tell him as you patiently wait for the picture to finally appear.

Slowly, the colors start to show and in a couple of minutes Harry’s face appears, his hand reaching in the direction of the camera, looking out of focus, only his face appearing clearly. He looks so delicate, his eyes dazzling as a soft smile plays on his lips. This moment now will live forever not just in your mind, but on this photo.

Harry goes out with his karaoke performance this year for sure and you’d be actually anxious about him winning if only you didn’t have the absolutely best performance right in your pocket.

His sweater this year features some really ugly looking penguins and a horroristic reindeer on the back, it’s really ugly and you can’t even imagine who thought it would be fine to make it and then sell it. His choice of music is also excellent, he has a great eye for songs you’d never imagine him perform and then shock everyone with it. This year, he chose Rude Boy by none other than Rihanna, and it’s fantastic, no one can make it through the song without crying. Harry makes sure to put on his best show, even dancing and twerking unapologetically, trying everything to win the battle and you are amazed by his effort. Above all the fun and jokes, he nails the song, that’s undeniable. It always baffles you how he can just slay any and all genres, even the ones that stand a million miles away from his style.

When the song is over, you all cheer for him, because he truly deserves it. He grins down at you in victory, but you just give him a challenging smirk.

“You can just give up now, if you want,” he teases you as you stand up from the couch and the two of you trade places.

“Oh, I think you should be the one to worry about losing,” you warn him grabbing your bag. Stepping to Gemma you whisper into her ear, instructing her to put on your song when you call out from the bathroom, since you are planning on do a grandiose entrance. When she hears what song you’ll be singing she gasps.

“Oh my fucking God, no way!” he looks at your with wide eyes.

“What? What is it?” Harry asks, dying to know what you just told his sister, but you shake your head at him.

“Patience,” you tell him before locking yourself up in the bathroom.

This year, you didn’t find the sweater, the sweater found you. On one of your thrift tours, you were digging up a huge pile of clothes when you came right across it and you knew what you needed to do.

Putting on the sweater you fix up your hair quickly before putting on your party glasses, the one that lights up if you switch it on. You take one last look at yourself in the mirror and smirk at your reflection knowing well you’ll have everyone dead when you walk out.

“Gemma! You can start it!” you call out with your hand on the doorknob, waiting to hear the music. Gemma quickly starts in and you haven’t even stepped out, you can hear a round of gasps.

Best Song Ever blasts through the speakers and you walk out trying your best to imitate a younger version of Harry, wearing the absolute ugliest Christmas sweater ever, that has the faces of One Direction all over it, filling up every inch of the fabric, and all of them have poorly photoshopped Santa hats on, it’s just literal trash and ridiculously perfect for the battle.

You grab the mic and start singing as everyone screams in the room. You jump, sing and even do the dance moves the boys do in the original music video, and when you look at Harry you see him staring at you in disbelief and total defeat. Everyone knows you won, nothing can top this performance ever and you could burst from the sweet feeling of victory.

By the end of the song everyone is up on their feet dancing and singing with you, a mini party forming in the middle of the living room and you all scream the last lines as the song comes to its end.

“I think we don’t even need to vote this time,” you say when the music stops, everyone screaming in agreement while Harry stares down at you, trying to hide his growing smirk.

“Where did you even find this?” he asks chuckling as he takes a better look at the sweater.

“At a thrift store, it called out my name, knew it’d be perfect.”

“It really is ugly, if I’m being honest,” he sighs, his eyes meeting yours again. “And the song… I accept defeat, you earned this victory, Y/N,” he tells you bowing and admitting your victory.

Later that night everyone is so keen on watching Holiday, you agree to stay even though you feel your eyelids heavily weighing down, threatening to close with each passing moment. You let your head rest on Harry’s shoulder and he presses his cheek against the crown of your head.

It’s not a surprise you fall asleep halfway into the movie, but what you weren’t expecting is to wake up and find yourself not on the couch anymore, but in Harry’s bed. It’s dark, only the moon is shining through his windows and as you turn to the right you see that he is sleeping peacefully next to you on his back, one arm spread next to him, hand hanging from the edge, the other one resting on his stomach, rising and falling in a slow rhythm.

Squinting your eyes you look at the digital clock on his dresser, it reads 3:23 am so you’ve been asleep for quite a few hours now. You don’t even remember him bringing you up here, but you’re definitely not mad that he didn’t bring you home, just up to his room.

Rolling to your side you give yourself a moment to adorn his beauty without fearing he would catch your wandering eyes. Everything seems so perfect about him, the line of his nose, his cupid’s bow that delicately rolls into her lips. The crease between his eyebrows, his soft skin on his cheeks, down his neck that runs into his broad shoulders and inked, strong arms. You truly think there’s no man that could compare to him and you are lucky enough to live your life so close to him, be able to touch him, hear his voice whenever you miss him, see his smile and share a connection with him.

It’s so silly, but you think of him as your personal ray of sunshine in your life. Just the smallest things about him can brighten your worst day, he’ll always have a special place in your heart, no matter where life takes the two of you.

Watching him sleeping you allow yourself to break free from your doubts and fears and scooting closer you shyly curl up to his side, your head resting on his shoulder, but you can’t even make yourself comfortable before you feel him moving under you.

Sucking on your breath you think he’ll push you away, not wanting you so close, but instead, he pulls his arm from under you, curling around your frame as he pulls you tight to him, almost making you lie on top of him. Your whole body is pressed against him and you mingle a leg between his long ones under the soft sheets. You let out a long huff at the warm touch of his body against your skin, completely lost in him.

“You alright?” he mumbles in his sleep laced voice, his eyes remain closed.

“Yeah. Is this okay?” you nervously ask as you lay your hand flat on his stomach. He brings his hand that was hanging from the bed on his other side and covers yours, as he squeezes you tight to his side.

“’M all yours,” he breathes out, his words sending a shiver down your spine. You’re sure he didn’t mean it like that, but it warmed your heart to hear it from him and you let your mind play with the thought that there was more behind his words than a friendly manner.

Nuzzling your head into his chest you close your eyes and listening to his steady heartbeat you let yourself fall back asleep.

Your morning is filled with coffee, pancakes, laughter and great company. Harry doesn’t let you leave without having breakfast with them, so you sit with the Styles family and laugh about the craziest stories from your teenage years.

“Remember when we tried to run away?” Harry grins at you, his red mug that had white polka dots all over it in his hands as he eyes you.

“Oh, how could I forget that?” you huff and Gemma turns to you with surprise in her eyes.

“Wait, I didn’t know about that!”

“Because we didn’t get too far,” Harry laughs. “We were, what, like fifteen?”

“Yeah, it was a few weeks after my fifteenth birthday,” you nod smiling.

“I had a fight with mum about God knows what, then stormed over to Y/N’s and talked her into running away. So we packed our backpacks and left.”

“Where did you go?” Michal asks with an amused grin as he listens to the story.

“We didn’t want to go into town, running into anyone we know, so we thought we would just go straight out to the meadow that’s there,” Harry says gesturing towards the window. The edge of the town is not so war, and a huge meadow lies there, a little stream running across it. “We walked for quite long, but then it started to get dark and we had nowhere to go, so we just ended up coming back home. No one even noticed we were gone, they thought we just went out to bike or something,” he finishes laughing.

“You knew about this?” Gemma asks Anne.

“Yeah, he came clear the next day, thinking he would piss me off with it, but I didn’t care, he came back for dinner, so it was alright,” Anne explains laughing.

It’s been so long since it happened, but I still remember it vividly, only that it was a more dramatic memory back then, now I can only laugh at it.

“We should go for a walk today,” Harry prompts to you.

“Wanna run away again?” you tease him.

“Always,” he chuckles.

You help cleaning up and agree with Harry to meet outside in an hour to take a walk to the meadow. Going home you take a shower and wash the dishes your mum left in the sink when she left for her morning shift. You put on a pair of boyfriend jeans, a warm sweater and your jacket with your trusty boots and you walk out the house right when Harry steps out as well. He grins in your way as the two of you meet in the middle of the street. He holds his arm out for you.

“M’ lady?” he smirks as you link your arm with his and the two of you head out for your little walk. It’s a gloomy day, might rain later as well, but it’s dry so far, so you’re just hoping to get home before it starts raining. Your runaway attempt wasn’t the only time the two of you came out here, it was kind of your place when you felt like having a break from everyone else. You biked out here, brought your favorite snacks and just ran around, enjoying the stillness.

However it also holds a bitter memory as well.

A little further down among the trees happened Harry’s first kiss and you witnessed it, feeling your heart break to a million pieces when you saw him lock lips with someone who wasn’t you.

Debby Hamilton was a friend of yours in sixth grade, you’d say, your only friend beside Harry and the three of you often hung out together around that time. Debby was a delight, you always desired to be more like her, boys liked her and she knew it damn well, but it didn’t make her cocky and egoistic. You always thought Harry had a crush on her, why would have he? They kind of looked cute together.

It was a Friday afternoon and Harry asked if you wanted to come out and listen to his new cassette he got for his old Walkman he refused to get rid of as technology was evolving. You figured he’d want Debby there as well so you invited her along, but didn’t tell Harry. He never made a move on Debby and you thought he was just looking for the right time.

That afternoon, you were supposed to meet them out there at five, but you didn’t leave until half past five and it takes about twenty minutes to get out there. Though you gave them the alone time technically, it still startled you when you found them under one of the oak trees, Debby leaning her back against the tree as Harry stood in front of her. She was smiling up at him sweetly, saying something to him and you were just about to call out for them and apologize for being late when Harry ducked his head and kissed Debby right in front of your eyes.

That was your first and probably worst heartbreak and you were only twelve. You felt betrayed, hopeless and naïve to think Harry would ever have a thing for you when there were girls like Debby. You left without letting them know you were there. When Harry asked you later why you didn’t come you told him you felt sick to your stomach, which wasn’t a total lie, you had quite the nausea after seeing Harry with Debby, but he didn’t have to know all the details.

He later told you about kissing Debby and you pretended like you didn’t know about it. However they never dated and not long after their kiss Debby drifted away from the two of you. Not that you minded, you had a bitter feeling every time you had to look at her after that, jealousy raging in your chest knowing that she got Harry’s first kiss.

He didn’t bring it up after and you weren’t keen on talking about it, but you still know which tree they were standing under and now as you near the area you see that it still stands tall near the tiny stream.

Peeking up at Harry you see that his eyes are focused on the same tree, but then he catches you looking.

“Memories?” you innocently ask, feeling your chest tightening. You don’t even know why you asked. It’s been over a decade since that kiss, you are both adults, but you still can’t help the sadness that washes over you at just the thought, why would you want to get him talk about it now?

“’S just… that’s the tree I kissed Debby when I was twelve,” he mumbles with a shrug. Biting into your bottom lip you look at the old oak tree nodding your head and before you could stop yourself, you speak up.

“I know.”

“What? How would you? I never told you,” Harry asks stopping, a puzzled look pulling on his face.

“Well I… It doesn’t matter,” you sigh, regretting ever opening your mouth.

“It does. Tell me!” he pleads standing in front of you.

“I know it, because… I was here.”

“You what?”

“I came, I was just very late. And when I arrived you two were standing there and I saw you kiss. I thought I shouldn’t interrupt whatever was happening so I went home and let you two be,” you explain, changing it up a little bit.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Why is it important that I saw it? It doesn’t change anything, right?” you ask with a smile that you intended to look innocent, but deep down it’s filled with pain.

Harry opens his mouth as if he wants to say something, but then remains silent and you are done talking about it, so you just quietly keep walking, Harry catching up with you a few moments later.

It’s awfully quiet after your revelation, it seems like Harry is deep in his thoughts and though you’re dying to know what’s occupying his bright thoughts, you’re kind of afraid you’d hear something you didn’t want to.

The two of you soon head back home and slowly, but you forget about the whole Debby thing. Harry starts talking again, but he looks a little keyed up still when you reach your street.

“Wanna come over later?” you ask standing on the pavement in front of your house, it’s just an innocent question. Harry nods his head.

“Sure. Is your mum working?” he asks glancing at the house, though he knows she is, the car is not on the driveway.

“Yeah. She’ll be home around six.”

He nods again and you want to ask if he is alright, but you decide not to. You share a quick hug before he heads over to his home and you do the same. The house waits for you in silence and when the door clicks behind you, it weighs down on you heavier than you were expecting. You hang your jacket, kick your boots off and throw yourself to the couch, covering your eyes with your arm as you huff out in frustration. You feel silly for getting upset about such a small thing even after so much time, but you just can’t help it.

You barely realize the sound of the front door opening, taking your arm off your eyes you see Harry walk in, eyebrows furrowed, a worried look on his handsome face.

“Harry—“ “I was waiting for you that day,” he simply says as you sit up with wide eyes, confused about what he is really talking about.

“What?”

“That day, we agreed to meet out there to listen to my new Stevie Wonder cassette, but you didn’t show up, Debby did even though I didn’t invite her out there.”

“Well, I did, thought you wanted her there too,” you explain, startled by the situation.

“I would have invited her if I wanted her to be there, but I wanted to be with you. Only you.”

“I-I’m sorry?” you breathe out, not seeing where he is going with it.

“Y/N, you don’t understand,” he huffs and he is right. You don’t. “I wanted to meet you, but you never came, or at least I thought. Then Debby showed up, I was frustrated that you weren’t there and she was being all nice, telling me how cute I looked when I was worried and it all just happened so fast and… I didn’t even want to kiss her.” He looks properly upset telling you the story and he takes a deep breath before his eyes meet yours with a hard stare. “I wanted to be with you,” he repeats.

“Harry, I’m sorry, I didn’t—“

He shakes his hair, not even letting you finish, because he knows what you wanted to say and that you still don’t understand the meaning behind his words.

“Y/N, I wanted to kiss you,” he then finally says and you suck on your breath as he continues. “Well, not right then and there, but I’ve been meaning to kiss you, I just didn’t know when. I thought that if we have a moment that afternoon I’d do it, but you never came and I was mad and disappointed. I hated myself for kissing Debby, because I didn’t really want to, it just… happened. I wanted to tell you, and I intended to do it when I told you we kissed, but you acted so happy, I figured you didn’t feel the same way about me as I did for you. So I didn’t tell you the rest, but…” He sighs in defeat, looking for words, but he ran out.

“Why are you telling this to me now?” you ask a little out of breath, your head feeling heavy at the new information you just heard.

“Why didn’t you tell me you saw us and why did you go home without a word?” he asks ignoring your question.

“I… don’t—“

“Don’t try to lie.”

Gulping hard you lick your dried lips as you stare back at him.

“Because I was… jealous.” Your voice comes out only as a whisper. Harry’s lips part as he takes two steps closer to you.

“You had feelings for me?” he asks and you just nod your head, not trusting yourself with your voice. “Do you still have feelings for me?”

“I do,” you whisper your answer and Harry lets out a sharp breath as he leaps across the room in your way. You jump to your feet, thinking that he’ll lash out on your for keeping it a secret and you open your mouth to explain yourself, but you never get to speak up because as Harry reaches you, one hand snaps to the back of your neck, the other one to your waist, yanking you against him as his lips crash to yours.

You gasp in surprise, but it doesn’t take long to kiss him back, your numb mind blindly reacting to his sudden action. Your hands snake up to the back of his neck as you pull him closer, returning his hungry kisses. His soft lips feel so smooth and warm against yours and when his tongue runs along your bottom lip you whimper letting your tongues meet in the middle.

He is intoxicating and it doesn’t help that your adrenaline level is up in the sky, you’ve fantasized about it way too many times, and now that it’s happening your body is burning in flames. He kisses you all over and over again, his body pressing against yours hard and when he even leans in making you lean back, you lose balance and the two of you fall to the couch, both of you gasping as you are forced to part your lips.

“Fuck,” you chuckle as Harry is basically lying on you, holding himself up on his arms, but you feel him everywhere.

“’M sorry, I got a little carried away, but I’ve been dying to do this since forever,” he admits chuckling as he lifts his head and looks down at you with those bright green eyes of his.

“Really?” you breathe out, only slowly processing what’s really just happened.

“Y/N, I’ve been in love with you since I first saw you hiding behind your mum.”

“Idiot, you were just a kid, you weren’t in love,” you chuckle, running up your hands to the back of his neck, your fingers playing with the soft curls. He smirks and nuzzles his nose against yours.

“Oh, I was, I just didn’t know it yet.” Leaning down he pecks your lips softly. “I’ve been meaning to tell you so many times, but I didn’t want it to ruin our friendship. Though I was growing impatient these last few years.”

“Yeah?” you chuckle.

“You can’t imagine,” he huffs shaking his head. I almost kissed you the other day in the kitchen, but Gemma completely ruined the moment.”

“I’m sorry I ran away, I was just—“ “No need to apologize. I guess it all played out well after all, right?” he smirks and you can’t help but chuckle.

“I guess,” you breathe out and the smile slowly fades from your lips. “And now what?” you ask quietly, staring up at him.

“Now… We’ll try to make things work. Test the waters. I’m very serious about this, Y/N,” he tells you. “I’ve been waiting for this my whole life so I’m not gonna let go of you now.”

“You have no idea how happy this is making me,” you choke out feeling the tears forming in your eyes.

“Oh Love, please don’t cry,” he begs and leaning down he kisses your tears away. “I’m right here, with you. Sorry it took me so long you get here, but I’m here now.”

“I know,” you huff blinking away the tears as you pull him down and press your lips to his. “I love you, Harry,” you whisper against his perfect lips. You feel him exhale sharply as he keeps kissing you before he lifts his head so your eyes meet again.

“I’ve always loved you.”

Thank you for reading, let me know what you thought about it!

#harry #styles #harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles au #harry styles oneshot #harry styles fluff #harry styles one shot #harry styles x reader #harry styles xyou #harry styles x y/n #harry styles imagine #fanficmas2020 #fanficmas 2020 #watchmegetobsessed fanficmas #watchmegetobsessed fanficmas 2020

2K notes · View notes

cherryxcadbury · 3 years ago

Note

Hello loveeeee! can I request request an imagine with Reece James? Maybe with angst and ofc flufff

hi lovely!! thanks sm for the request! I’d be more than happy to do it<33

tw: swearing

also for the picture I used at the bottom, ignore it! literally couldnt find anything else:(

1st person point of view

I got myself comfortable on the large sofa and turned on the interview that Reece asked me to watch. It was his first one where the interviewer was a big name, so it’d obviously attract attention.

I watched with adoring eyes full of delight, carefully listening to whatever question was shot his way and how he answered them.

“So Reece, you’re a young, handsome lad. Certainly means you get attention from the females. Any special woman in your life?” the interviewer questioned.

Reece chuckled before running a hand through his hair. I looked up at the screen with hope that he’d mention me, as we originally wanted to keep it secret, no one knew about me other than his family.

“Other than my mum and sister. Nope.” Reece plopped the p sound.

Sighing, I shut off the television, deciding to prepare some food before Reece got home. Within about twenty minutes, he’d arrived.

“Babe! I’m home!” Reece called.

I walked from my place in the kitchen to the door and greeted him with a kiss to the cheek as I hung his coat. We both made our way to the kitchen.

“How was training? How many times you get megged?” I smirked.

“Actually I managed to meg Mase alone twice.” Reece stuck his tongue out at me.

“Wow. For the first time in forever.” I retorted.

Reece playfully rolled his eyes before taking a seat at the kitchen island.

“And your day?” He inquired.

“All spent finishing the school work I have due tomorrow. I hate uni.” I groaned.

“Just keep at it for another year then I’ll be able to say my girlfriend‘s a university graduate.” He winked.

“Well the way it’s going I wouldn’t count on that.” I breathed.

“You’ll be fine Y/N. You always are.” He reassured, rubbing his thumb against my hand.

“Oh by the way. Did you watch the interview?” Reece questioned with a smile.

I attempted to put a grin on my face but apparently Reece could see right through me.

“Sure did!” I exclaimed.

“Woah what’s with the fake enthusiasm?” Reece quirked an eyebrow.

“What fake enthusiasm? This is real! Its nothing.” I tried convincing him.

“If you didn’t like the interview just tell me.” Reece mumbled while he shoveled rice into this mouth.

“What do you mean? I told you I liked it. It was good.” I asked in a quiet, but annoyed tone.

“Okay why are you so mad? If I knew that you’d be in such a bad mood I wouldn’t have come home in the first place.” Reece‘s voice began getting louder.

“Oh my god. Who the hell said I was mad? I told you that I enjoyed it!” I gritted through my teeth, frustration growing as he began raising his voice.

“God damnit Y/N what is up with you?” Reece groaned.

“Me? What’s up with me? What the fuck is up with you?” I matched his tone.

Reece was taken aback at my choice of language as he knew I avoided cursing unless I was truly angry.

“Y/N. What’s the point of starting this fight?” He asked.

“I’m not the one who started it.” I muttered, putting my head in my hands.

“Right because I’m the one who started it.” Reece scoffed.

“I just don’t understand Y/N. What do you want?” Reece whispered softly.

I took a few breaths as tears discreetly cascaded down my cheek.

“I’m just annoyed how we have to hide our relationship. I-I don’t want to do that anymore.” I replied, my voice tired.

“That’s why you’re annoyed at me? That’s why you’re angry, moody, irritable?” Reece questioned for confirmation.

I slowly nodded.

“Your annoyed at me for fucking doing what you asked? You‘re the one who suggested keeping our relationship a secret. I was ready to show the whole world that you were mine. And now you’re mad because I respected your decision.” Reece summarised, his voice laced with venom.

“Reece I’m not mad at you—” I started.

“No. You are and you have no right to be.” Reece cut me off.

“Reece I changed my mind. I’m allowed to change my mind aren’t I? I only suggested it because that’s what I thought you’d want! I thought it would help keep you out of the tabloids!” I sighed with exasperation.

“The blame always somehow goes back to me.” Reece chuckled with an anger.

“I’m not blam—you know what. I’m going upstairs. Do whatever, I don’t give two shits.” I decided, marching up to our room, slamming it shut.

“I don’t care either. I can’t deal with this. I’m going to Chilly’s.” Reece shouted, grabbing his keys and slamming the front door shut.

I closed my eyes, my back pressed against the door as I slid down to the ground, unlocking it. The built up tears freely left my eyes while a sob escaped my mouth.

Elsewhere, Reece sat in his car parked in the car park groaning. His head was tilted against the driver‘s seat as he tried to calm himself down before driving. He barely noticed it, but a tear or two managed to escape his eye.

Three hours later…

I tossed and turned in the large, king sized bed. I felt guilt. I couldnt go to bed not knowing if Reece was safe. Though I sure as hell tried, my mind constantly wandered to bad scenarios. I’d sent him a text right before bed telling him I was sorry and wanted him home.

Suddenly, the sound of the door opening attracted my attention. I sat up, letting out a sigh of relief as I saw Reece walk through the door. Once we made eye contact, I was about to rush to him before he signaled for me to stay put. I watched him place his things on the bedside table and take off his slides and sweatshirt.

I watch with anticipation as I wait for him to finally come towards the bed. A sad smile makes its way onto my face as he climbs in bed.

“I’m so sorry.” I mumble, hugging him, burying my head in his neck.

“I’m sorry for being a jerk.” He hugs me back, arms around my waist.

“I love you.” I tell him, looking into his eyes.

Instead of replying he just kisses me, making me happier than I could have ever been.

We lie down together and a few minutes later i see that my hand has started subconsciously playing with hair. I grin as I see a peaceful smile on my face.

“So. You still wanna go Instagram official?” Reece smirks, raising an eyebrow.

“Is it bad if I say yes?” I laughed.

“Thank god we’re on the same page this time.” He chuckles.

Reece grabbed his phone from the bedside table, I smiled as I thought he was going to use an old photo of ours. To my surprise, he took a candid photo.

“Reece don’t post that. I look ugly.” I groaned.

“Oh shut up. Theres not a moment in my life that I’ve thought that you looked anything but beautiful.” He complimented.

@/reecejames

@/reecejames: the only person in the world I love more than my left back❤️‍

Tagged: @y/f/n.y/l/n88

#reece james imagine #football #soccer #chelsea #chelsea fc #epl #imagine #premier league #ben chilwell imagine #mason mount #ben chilwell #reece james #England nt #reece James imagine #Ansgt #Fluff

129 notes · View notes

alastaircarstairsdefenselawyer · 3 years ago

Text

champagne problems (part 1)

here's my first part of my modern no magic "champagne problems" singer-songwriter quarantine thomastair AU! happy birthday to @foxglove-airmid even though I don't think it's your birthday where you live anymore (and I still haven't posted zia's birthday fic, it'll happen I swear)!

no content warnings for this part (besides maybe quarantine), but future parts will include discussions of mental illness, substance abuse, and a suicide attempt

obviously, the song alastair "wrote" in the fic is not mine, it's by taylor swift! and a few of the lyrics have been changed!

Masterlist | AO3

Thomas breathed out a sigh of relief as he lugged his suitcase up onto the fifth floor landing.

“‘Ere we are,” Piers announced as he unlocked the door.

Thomas was utterly exhausted, such was the result of taking a redeye flight across the Atlantic during a global pandemic, but any idea of rest that he’d had was interrupted when he heard the sound of piano flood the apartment.

“Ah, sorry about that,” Piers nodded, “One of my flatmates, the walls are paper thin. He can’t record at the studio right now, but he’s trying to finish his EP, so it’s been a bit noisier around here. He’ll take a break soon, hopefully.”

Thomas shook his head. “It’s no problem. Thank you, again, for allowing me to stay here. I’ll be looking for my own place as soon as the quarantine is up.”

“Of course. You’ve got the couch as long as you need it. Couldn’t just hang you out to dry, could I? Although, you did pick a god awful time to move to the city, if I do say so myself.”

Thomas sat down on the couch and tried to make himself comfortable. It was more comfortable than the flight or the airport, at least. “I know… I considered postponing the move, but the visa was so difficult to get, I just couldn’t pass up the opportunity. They say this will all blow over in a couple of weeks, but borders are closing and I heard talk of them suspending all pending visa applications. I didn't know how long it would be if I waited, if the job was even still here for me at all.” Although at first entrance, the music had seemed to be a nuisance, it now comforted him. It wasn’t bad at all, in fact, it quite reminded him of the days Alastair’s playing had filled their flat…

“Where did you say you were working again? At a record company?”

“Yeah. I’m just doing pretty basic stuff for now, but if I ever do want to record my own music, I’ve got to start somewhere.”

“Hm,” Piers said, gesturing to the room the music was coming from. “Perhaps you’ll get on with him well, then. Would you like some tea?”

Thomas nodded and Piers went to start the teapot. Piers continued, “Though I suppose he's more of the tortured artist type. Very reserved, quite prickly. I didn't even meet him until a couple weeks after I moved in here because he was off in some psychiatric hospital.” Thomas shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He was never one for gossip. “My other roommate’s nice, though, I think you’ll like him. He-”

“How did you end up in New York, again? I don’t think I ever asked.”

Piers dove into the subject change quite readily, explaining his uni - or college - years in New York City and his decision to stay afterwards. Thomas had tuned most of it out, truthfully. It wasn’t that he was trying to be rude, but he was rather exhausted, and Piers was wearing thin on his patience.

As the kettle started to whine, Thomas heard the musician begin to sing, and he froze. It sounded so much like Alastair. But it couldn't be, could it? With over 8 million people living in the city, he would not end up in Alastair's apartment by accident. His Alastair was certainly reserved and prickly, but it wasn't possible. It must be like all those times he thought he saw him on a street he'd never walked or heard his laugh in a café he'd never been to. Just his mind, tricking him. Even if he knew that voice so well, despite not hearing it in so long.

“It’s quite good, isn’t it? His first single just dropped.” Piers asked, bringing over his cup of tea. He hadn’t realized it, but he’d been staring intently at the door.

Thomas took the cup. “Hm? Yeah, I guess. Thanks.”

“You should look it up. It’s called “champagne problems” by Simurgh. That’s spelled- Well, it should come up.”

The name Simurgh sounded familiar, but Thomas couldn’t put his finger on where he knew it from. At Piers’ insistence, he pulled out his phone and brought up the song. As he skimmed through the first few lines, a cold feeling settled in his stomach.

“You booked the night train for a reason So you could sit there in this hurt Bustling crowds or silent sleepers You're not sure which is worse”

“Simurgh,” Thomas realized.

“Yeah, I think it’s Arabic or something.”

It took Thomas a moment to process that Piers was responding to him. “It’s Persian.” He was certain that Alastair would have some very stern words to say if he heard Piers confusing the two, actually. Thomas had admittedly let his Farsi skills deteriorate quite a bit since the breakup, but he was fairly certain the name came from the Shahnameh. There was no doubt in Thomas’ mind now: he was staying in Alastair’s apartment, and Alastair’s first single was about one of the most painful days in Thomas’ life. “I, er, I used to study it.”

“Oh, yes, that’s right!” Piers launched into a tangent that Thomas tuned out as he read through the rest of the page.

“Because I dropped your hand while dancing Left you out there standing Crestfallen on the landing Champagne problems”

“Thomas? Are you alright?”

He realized then that his hand was trembling so badly that his tea nearly spilled. He used his other hand to steady it. “Oh, uh, yes, I’m just tired.”

“Perhaps you should rest. I can ask Alastair to quiet down for a while-”

“No!” he exclaimed rather too forcefully. “No, that’s not necessary. I’d just rather not talk, if that’s alright.”

Piers nodded.

Thomas kept reading.

“Your mom's ring in your pocket My picture in your wallet Your heart was glass, I dropped it Champagne problems”

Of all the songs, why did he release the one about him? Why was it about a memory still so painful in Thomas’ heart, all of these years later? He remembered it so well, standing there, alone, shattered into a million pieces.

“You told your family for a reason You couldn't keep it in Your sister splashed out on the bottle Now no one's celebrating”

He was fairly certain that Barbara had been more excited than even he was, confident that Alastair would accept, and so very proud of her baby brother, all grown up. She’d been furious when it fell apart, but it was her who stood with him during the aftermath, who boarded him onto a train to Edinburgh to visit Eugenia when he couldn’t stand to be in the same city as him any longer, who went through his phone, blocking all of Alastair’s accounts so that he could obsess over him no longer, who comforted him as he wept and held him as he picked the pieces of himself back up again.

And all the more sour was the memory in light of her death.

“Dom Pérignon, you brought it No crowd of friends applauded Your hometown skeptics called it Champagne problems”

He looked up at Piers, who had fortunately become enthralled with something on his phone and was no longer paying Thomas any mind. He lifted the teacup gingerly to his lips, but he felt far too sick to take a drink.

“You had a speech, you're speechless Love slipped beyond your reaches And I couldn't give a reason Champagne problems”

A reason, that’s all Thomas had wanted. Just any explanation. He understood if they were moving too fast, or perhaps he’d misread something, but he just didn’t understand it.

Why? Why can’t you tell me why? I deserve an explanation, Alastair. Please, anything.

I… I’m sorry, Thomas.

Stop it! Stop apologizing! We can just go home and pretend this never happened, please, forget about all of it, it was a stupid idea-

Thomas, stop. I shouldn’t’ve… This was a mistake. I’m sorry I didn’t see that sooner.

That was the moment Thomas felt his heart stop beating.

“Your Midas touch on the Chevy door November flush and your flannel cure "This dorm was once a madhouse" I made a joke, "Well, it's made for me" How evergreen, our group of friends Don't think we'll say that word again And soon they'll have the nerve to deck the halls That we once walked through”

Despite the nearly two decades Thomas had spent in London before Alastair, it was never the same without him. He saw him everywhere he went, despite knowing he was thousands of miles away. After graduating uni that May, he accepted a spot at a graduate program in Spain and didn’t look back.

“One for the money, two for the show I never was ready so I watch you go Sometimes you just don't know the answer 'Til someone's on their knees and asks you "You’re the only one I want by my side, What a shame you’re fucked in the head," you said”

Those were the words that haunted Thomas’ nightmares, even now.

It’s you! It’s only you for me! It was always going to be you! But I can see now that I was never going to be enough for you, you and your secrets and walls and your lies. It’s a shame… it’s a shame you’re so fucked in the head, Alastair. You’ll never truly love anyone, will you? You’re not physically capable of it.

Alastair hadn’t responded. Thomas had wanted a rise out of him, any reaction at all, despite knowing how lethal and volatile Alastair could become when provoked. But there was nothing. Not a flicker of anything in his steeled expression. He’d simply looked down, apologized again for any pain that he’d caused, and left.

That was the last time they’d spoken.

Thomas and his sister left for Edinburgh that night, and when he’d returned to London, Alastair was gone.

“Well, you'll find the real thing instead Who'll patch up your tapestry that I shred And hold your hand while dancing Never leave you standing Crestfallen on the landing With champagne problems”

Thomas couldn’t imagine giving his heart to anyone again, not now and certainly not then. He’d dated in Madrid, but it had always stayed casual. He’d made sure of it. He could see now that he and Alastair had gotten together quickly, moved in together quickly, done all of it very quickly. After all, he’d fallen hard and fast. He gave all of himself to Alastair, and he’d nearly lost all of himself in the process.

“Your mom's ring in your pocket New picture in your wallet You won't remember all my Champagne problems

“You won't remember all my Champagne problems”

Now, he wondered what the rest of the story was. He’d convinced himself that Alastair had never loved him, that he was heartless and cruel, though he’d known that wasn’t true. Could Alastair have written this song if he’d never truly loved him? Perhaps he was a sociopath.

Thomas felt like he should run. Like he should pick up his bag and dart out of the apartment before Alastair could notice him, find some hotel somewhere with undoubtedly extraordinary high rates and just pretend like this never happened. He could get back on a plane and go back home to his parents and delete his phone browser history and pretend like this was all just a bad dream. But he could not move.

He didn’t know how many minutes had passed before Alastair’s door opened. He looked up with a start.

“Thomas,” Alastair breathed. He stood wide eyed, flushed.

“Do you two already know each other then?” Piers asked.

There was a moment of silence before Thomas cleared his throat. “We used to,” he said, looking down.

“I, er, I forgot that your friend was coming today,” Alastair told Piers. “It’s quite a long journey from London, you should have told me, I would have been quieter.”

Thomas considered correcting him for a moment, but decided not to. “Don’t worry about it. I heard you had your first big release. Congratulations.”

Alastair gave an awkward nod. “Thank you. Right, well, I’ll just…” He rushed over to the kitchen and pulled a bottle of water from the fridge. “I’ll try to be a bit quieter.”

“Don’t- It’s fine, really. In fact, I’m sure there’s some hotel in the area I can stay at for now, actually-”

“Well, don’t leave on my account,” Alastair interrupted. “We agreed to let you stay here, and the city’s a bloody mess right now. I’ll stay out of your hair, Thomas.”

Thomas only nodded as Alastair disappeared back behind his bedroom door.

Thanks for reading! Taglist (ask to be +/-): @stxr-thxif @chaos-and-starlight @zosiaenrique @lifewouldbebetteronmars @littlx-songbxrd @dianasarrow @eugeniaslongsword @bookswitchcraftandcats @jamesherondaleofficial @thomas-gaypanic-lightwood @livingformyself @anarmorofwords @foxglove-airmid @writeforjordelia @sapphic-in @jem-nasium @fortheloveofthecarstairs @alastair-esfandiyar-carstairs1 @shadowrunner2000 @thewarthatsavedmylife @fair-childd @itsjusta-j-really

#alastair carstairs #thomas lightwood #thomastair #tlh #the last hours #fanfic #fanfiction #champagne problems au

85 notes · View notes

whatifyoulivelikethat · 3 years ago

Text

friendships and growing apart(?)

I feel like my best friend and i are growing apart.

A couple of days into the new year i found out my best friend has basically been lying to me for a while now.

We graduated last year and happened to be accepted in the same university and everything was going great, at least for me. It was my most desired choice and i was over the moon. It wasn't my bff's first choice but it still fit what she wanted so she was still happy. Even more since we were also gonna live together.

We moved in together and started uni together and everything was going great. It was all new and kinda scary but you know, that's how life is. Everything was going great or at least i thought.

A couple of days after the new year's she texted me that she wants to stop going to uni, because she doesn't like it and she did it only because she saw the reactions of people when sb would say they don't want to continue their studies and to please her parents. She told me that she liked absolutely nothing about uni although she loved living with me. She told me she had been miserable all this time and she can't do it anymore. She stresses too much about uni work ,to the point of hurting herself , and the social relations that come with it and also told me she doesn't really like the city the uni is in either.

I'm not mad at her about feeling like that. It's normal to have those moments. We have both been through quite a lot and seen each other at our worst. What i'm mad about is that she knows me better than my mom, we talk about everything, EVERYTHING, and she knows i would have never judged her if she told me from the start that this wasn't what she wanted. I want only her happiness and well-being. What i'm mad about is that she never told me, not even hinted about those feelings. We were together pretty much all the time and she never gave any indication she didn't like how her life was turning out.

So i feel a little betrayed. I hope it's not selfish but i do. When she was telling me all that it sounded as if she blamed me and everyone that loves her and that makes me super mad. I know her family and i know all of her close friends so i know for sure NOBODY would have judged her, nobody. And as i said before, especially me.

There are a lot of complications that come along with her decision that are not worth mentioning but, ever since we had that talk we've been kinda distant. I ask her how she is every day and all i get are curt responses that lead to no further talk. That has been going on for a month. A couple of days ago she also told me that she doesn't really love kpop as much as before and that she thinks she is growing out of that "phase". That irritated me for a lot of reasons but all you need to know , is that this is extremely unusual of her in a very bad way.

I hope i'm not selfish. It's just that i've always been so clear about what i want and what i fear and i thought she was too, so when that all happened it felt like a low blow. I truly felt betrayed. I don't really let people close to me, so when i find someone i like i really cherish and show that person they mean a lot to me and i felt like i've done that with her. I am good at reading people, all my life whatever i've "predicted" about the social connections around me has happened so me getting the cold sholder feeling from her frightens me to no end. Because she is like a sister to me and i don't want her to ruin her life and i definitely don't want her to leave mine.

I'm scared, confused and sad, please give me your advice.

No matter who it is - friend, family member, spouse, anyone - it is their choice when it comes to what they want to share. In fact, sometimes the closer you are to someone, the more you want to hide specific feelings from them, especially if they are negative.

I understand that perhaps you may not feel this way. It is not your nature to hide yourself from those close to you because part of showing how important that bond is to you is sharing everything that you are thinking. Since opening up is not easy for you, you place great importance in the other person reciprocating the same. When they do not, it feels like a breach of trust. Questions start swimming in your head. Have you not been a good friend? You've given so much; why could she not give you the same? How could she keep her feelings from those most important to her? Especially you, you could have done something; you could have helped, couldn't you?

Take a deep breath.

It is very likely that she did not tell those closest to her for several reasons. Perhaps she felt they would try and pressure her into continuing university. She has already admitted she felt pressured by society in general to attend in the first place. Maybe she felt the weight and responsibility of living with you, which I assume is not for free. It's also likely that for a long time she has been thinking about if she truly felt this way or if it was simply nervousness from being in a new environment. She ultimately decided to give it a try, at least a semester, and see if she could power though this initial feeling. Regret about a huge life decision is not a small thing. And, finally, perhaps she knows you so well that she felt that she could anticipate your reaction to her declaration and has been avoiding it, until these emotions have reached their peak and she could no longer keep them in any longer.

To you, this feels like a huge bomb has been dropped on you. For her, she has felt this probably since graduation, maybe even before. But everyone around her keeps telling her to go to university. Shouldn't she be excited to start the next chapter in her life? Shouldn't she be excited to live with her best friend? Shouldn't she feel elated to tackle the next challenge? That's what everyone else is doing.

Right?

In her eyes, she sees you handling the pressures so easily. Maybe she even envies how you are thriving and/or she feels that she would ruin your experience by even mentioning her reservations. She couldn't tell her close friends and/or family - what if you find out that she told them first and not you? Perhaps this is the reason she told no one and kept it all inside.

You are not selfish for caring. You are not selfish for wanting the best for her. You are selfish for thinking that this is betrayal to you. This is not about you. This is about her uncertainty for her own future, about her frustrations in not knowing her path and perceiving that others around her have it "all figured out". It's not true, but she can't quite see that. Being told you should like something and then realizing you actually don't is confusing. On top of that, this is university, her very important future, taught by family, friends, and media that she should feel a certain way and she just doesn't.

And that is terrifying.

How you feel is how you feel, both for you and for her. You are allowed to feel hurt that she didn't mention these things until now. She is allowed to not say anything until she was ready to talk. When you say that you feel that she should have said something, that is your opinion. When you say that you would have said something if you were in her position, that is also your opinion. She had her own opinion about when she felt that she was able to voice her concerns. I don't believe she was trying to be malicious by keeping it from you. I think her intent was to protect you and this important friendship. It didn't quite work but you can't know that until the aftermath.

Talk to her about this. "Hey, can I ask you why you kept it in so for long?" I know it may be tempting to add how you feel about it, but hold back for a moment and listen to what she has to say. "Did you feel pressured because I was excited to live and experience university with you?" Understand that even though you had no malintent, it is possible that it happened to have a negative effect. It doesn't mean that you were wrong for feeling happy about it. It only means that life, emotions, people, they are all complicated. Let her know your concerns.

"I don't want you to feel so bad to the point of hurting yourself. I want you to know that I am here to support you. Are there things I could do better as your friend? Please tell me honestly."

Be willing to receive what she has to say. It may be unpleasant. It may be something you do not want to hear. Before you start formulating your response to her answer, stop. Listen. She is telling you these things in a vulnerable state. Consider what she is telling you objectively. Although you have good intent, it may not always be perceived that way. That is nobody's fault. Depending on your emotional state, your perception of the situation will differ. Encourage an open communication. Determine why she did not feel comfortable doing so before and learn from it. Although you may feel it is important for you to share everything with her, she might feel that she does not want to stress you out with her negative emotions and that is how she shows that she cares about you.

You are not less important to her because she didn't share. You may be the most important person and she might have been scared that she was disappointing you by not enjoying university as much as you do.

As for her saying that she doesn't love kpop as much as before, I do not think it is a dig at the music. Very likely it is because kpop is full of happy memories and right now it is hard for her to enjoy. But also, the music people listen to fluctuates all the time. I don't quite know the context and it is hard to tell what she meant by it, so I am simply throwing that option out there. For me, I also stopped listening to kpop for some years because it was something I used to listen to when I was going though some dark shit. I stepped back and came back when I was ready (*cough* and somehow started a porn blog *cough*).

Ask her about her future, what she would like to do, and how you can best support her. She may not know. Would it help if you offered suggestions? Or is it better to not pressure her about the future and just see where it goes? Is she thinking of taking a gap year to find out what she wants to do? Perhaps she can try a variety of hobbies and find something that suits her. She can always go back to secondary education, no matter how old she is. It is important to support her now more than ever. Although you may not always be physically together anymore, it will be interesting for both of you to share your varied life experiences. With that aid of technology, you really can still spend so much time together.

I believe you both can get through this. It's possible that your friendship will grow and become even stronger. The wonderful thing about friendship is how people from different walks of life can get along, support, learn, and grow from one another.

One from the moon, one from the stars.

Alexa, play 'Friends' by BTS. :)

9 notes · View notes

sazc94 · 4 years ago

Text

Pietro and Bunny

HELLO

Here is my second entry for the wonderful @msmarvelwrites 2k Challenge.

This a spin-off from my Bucky fic: The three times Bucky broke your heart. Part 1 linked Here.

It follows the same timeline and explores the relationship of Pietro and Reader (Bunny) More.

Words 6034

Themes. Angst, Suggestions of smut. But mostly lots and lots of fluff. 18+ Because of the smut suggestions.

This has two parts and I will upload part 2 tomorrow.

𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰, 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲?"

Pietro thought you were pretty cool. He thought you and Bucky made a great couple. He enjoyed hanging out with you when you would all hang out as a group. Pietro wasn’t one for girlfriends. Sure he’d had a few semi-serious flings and would occasionally bring a date to the parties after a game and loved how you would instantly make anyone feel welcome. He couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment he started to think of you as more than a friend. It was sometime during his senior year.

At first, he pushed the idea out of his head. You were Bucky’s girl Y/N! You were the cute shy girl Bucky had brought out of her shell, who was still deep down that adorable musical theatre-loving dork. However, when Bucky started getting defensive around him and Sam about who he was texting, Pietro stopped feeling so bad about liking you of course Pietro would never do anything to jeopardize your relationship with Bucky and his friendships with either of you, but he couldn’t help but feel a tang of jealousy towards Bucky.

2010

“Look at Bucky, can’t go 5 minutes without texting his little cheerleader,” Sam said walking up behind Pietro. Bucky was too engrossed in his phone to pay any attention to the pair of them. Pietro smirked.

“Sam, watch this” Pietro said, before breezing over to Bucky and pulling his phone out of his hands. Bucky instantly shot up trying to grab the phone from Pietro, however, he was too quick throwing the phone to Sam.

“Dear Doll, I love you so much and all thought I only saw you this morning, I am already missing you” Pietro sang in a teasing manner.

“Come on guy’s give it back” Bucky grunted. Sam and Pietro kept throwing the phone between them. Suddenly Sam stopped laughing.

“Hey Buck, who’s Nat and why is she asking if you’re going to be around this summer?” Sam asked his eyebrow shooting up. Bucky’s façade faltered for a second. His usual bright blue eyes deepening with an unfamiliar expression. Pietro’s interest was also piqued, he may have wanted you for himself but that didn’t mean he wanted to see you get hurt.

“Oh, she’s just a friend of Jane’s. I met her at that party after our game in Green Bay last year she’s a cheerleader like Jane and Y/N. Natasha and her boyfriend Clint will be in town the summer and she wants to introduce us apparently her boyfriend was impressed with how we played” Bucky said, shrugging it off like it was no big deal. After that incident, Bucky was on his phone around the football team less and started talking about how much he loved you and couldn’t wait to spend some quality time with you in the summer.

November 2011

By the time graduation rolled around Pietro had put any thoughts about the pair of you out of his mind, chalking it up to wanting a relationship as opposed to you. At least that’s what he kept telling himself. You came along to his graduation ceremony. Well, it was for everyone. Pietro, Sam, Wanda, Jane, and Carol. Bucky came along too. Late. But you were there with Peter Parker who was a freshman, he had talent, but he seemed to prefer being behind a camera as opposed to on the field.

The whole gang hung around the field and bleachers after the ceremony. Goofing off and enjoying the last time the group would all be together like this for a while. Peter took photos of you all. Pietro’s favourite was one where he and Sam had picked you up whilst you were in the middle of talking to Carol and Wanda. The laughter that came out of your mouth as you squealed and shouted for the two footballers to put you down made his heart flutter.

Okay so maybe he wasn’t as over you as he told himself he was. Now he could understand what that Taylor Swift was banging on about in that song of hers.

Have you ever thought just maybe?

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t Bucky’s girl,” he said grinning at you. For some stupid reason, probably because Pietro didn’t know what to do with his hands, he ruffled your hair like you were 5 again. He couldn’t help but notice you wince at the old pet name. He mentally kicked himself. Why had he called you that?!

Graduation was the last time he saw you for over a year. Unlike Bucky, Pietro had actually been away at a football camp when Bucky had cheated on you. He didn’t know what had happened. Only knew you two had broken up. Wanda was fiercely protective of her friendship with you and didn’t want to betray you by admitting to those that didn’t know that Bucky had cheated on you. He wasn’t going to lie; he was saddened when you didn’t stay in touch with him after he graduated. But after he started his first year at the University of Michigan, he didn’t have much time to worry about it. He was a Line Backer having secured a football scholarship after college scouts came to see Sam and a few others play, Pietro had caught the eye of the scout from the University of Michigan, all though he was a great player, Pietro didn’t want to play professionally like many of the guys on the team. He was studying Business and Economics.

Since about the age of 15, he and Wanda had always planned on going into business together. Between parties, flirting with the pretty cheerleaders and sorority girls and his studies you became a distant memory to Pietro. That was until one November game in his second year.

The Wolverines were playing the Wisconsin Badgers. Boy did they suck. Not that Pietro minded it allowed him the opportunity to watch the cheerleaders, he knew a few of the girls on the team from various parties, he hadn’t paid much attention to the new girls on the squad. Then out of the corner of his eye, he spotted someone who looked familiar to him. Could it be Y/N? Wanda had mentioned something about you getting a scholarship at Uni for your cheerleading, but he’d been in the middle of a game of Mario Kart with Sam at the time.

He tried to rack his brain’s but then the ball came towards him. He smiled to himself. Showtime Pietro. The game was an easy win. Whilst his teammates cheered Pietro made his way to the side-lines, desperate to know if the girl he’d seen earlier was you. His heart skipped a beat when he heard your familiar laugh. He couldn’t believe it. Pietro came jogging up towards you determined to chat.

“It’s just Y/N” or you can call me cutie you said winking at Pietro, he chuckled.

“How about I just call you tomorrow?” he retorted, you felt yourself blush. Pietro may come across as confident but inside he was shaking with nerves. Was he really doing this? What if you said no? You shrugged before pulling out a sharpie from your bag, you wrote down your number on his arm. He cocked his head puzzled.

“I changed it last year after Bucky wouldn’t stop blowing it up with apology texts,” you said simply wrongly presuming Pietro knew what had gone down. Before Pietro could respond you ran off to join the rest of your squad and headed for the changing room. He couldn’t help but smile to himself as your laughter rang in his ears whilst you walked off the pitch.

“Pietro! What’s good? How’d your game go tonight?” Sam asked. He sounded buzzed and Pietro could hear the faint sounds of a party in the background. Excellent he thought to himself. Sam was buzzed enough to have loose lips but not drunk enough to be of no use and if he was lucky Sam might not even remember half the conversation.

Pietro got back to his apartment, he had zero clues about what had gone on with you and Bucky. It was obvious due to your remark about him blowing up your phone with apology texts that he’d done something. He weighed up his options. Wanda or Sam? Wanda was his twin, and he knew deep down if he pulled the twin card she would tell him, but then if nothing came of this, he would be opening a can of worms with his sister over nothing.

Then there was Sam, he was still pretty close with Bucky and liked to chat a lot. But ultimately, he was like a brother to Pietro, and he trusted Sam to keep his mouth shut. Taking a deep breath and raking his hand through his Silver-blonde hair he picked up his phone and dialled Sam.

“So Sam you’ll never guess who I ran into cheering on the side-lines of the game!?” Pietro tried to sound breezy and cool like it was no big deal, despite the fact he was about to ask his friends ex out on a date.

“ I ran into Y/N. You know Bucky’s girl?” Pietro carried on forcing his voice to sound light. Sam choked on his drink down the other end of the line.

“I wouldn’t let her hear you call her that. That boy broke her damn heart, the fool” Sam said, there was an edge to his voice that Pietro almost missed.

“Wait, what do you mean?” Pietro asked genuinely curious.

“Well remember that little party your sister threw that last week of summer whilst you were away at football camp with some of your new teammates?” Sam asked. He didn’t wait for Pietro to respond before he continued.

“Well, Jane brought her friend Nat along” Sam continued. Pietro took a sharp intake of breath. No, Bucky wouldn’t have been stupid enough to kiss her at a party with your mutual friends, would he?

“Well turns out that Clint guy Bucky talked about wasn’t her boyfriend he was just a really good friend. But by the time we found that out Jane realised both Bucky and this Nat chick hadn’t been seen for at least a good 15, 20 minutes. So, she went to go find Nat. Only to walk in on them fucking. Oh yeah, it was on your bed bro”, Sam finished his story like it was no big deal. Other than the telling disdain in his voice.

Pietro stood stunned. No wonder you had winced at the use of your old nickname. Pietro’s heart broke for you at that moment. He vowed at that moment that no matter what happened between you both, he would do everything in his power to ensure you never had to feel heartbreak like that again.

Pietro will never forget that first date with you. He had come up with some lame excuse of showing you the best-hidden beauty spots of the campus. Not that there were any, he just wanted an excuse to spend some time with you. He wore jeans and a jumper with his beat-up converse.

All though it didn’t look like he had put much effort into his outfit he had spent a good hour agonising over it. In the end, he settled for a faded blue jumper hoping it would make his eyes and hair pop. He met you by the school library and the sun was shining, it was still a chilly November mid-morning.

You had turned up with your hair tied up in a messy bun a few stray pieces framing your cheeks, you had opted for a sweater dress. He remembered because it was loose and comfy but sinched inwards in all the right places. It was a silvery colour almost the same shade his hair was. Pietro swore you took his breath away.

Winter Break 2011

“And that right there is where the fraternity pledges had to stand and sing, I’m a little teapot every time someone put 10$ in the bucket. I didn’t truly understand the strange British Nursery Song or whatever it was, but I did like watching the pledges get embarrassed every time they had to sing when the cute cheerleaders walked past. So, I put 40 Bucks in the bucket when I knew the 3rd Years would be heading to practise” Pietro said pointing to the school statue.

You had nearly fallen over laughing at his story. Pietro noticed how you scrunched your nose up when you laughed. Like a rabbit. No like a Bunny. When Pietro walked you back to your dorm, he wasn’t sure if he was going to kiss you, but when you let him hold your hand, he decided at that moment he would regret it more if he didn’t take the plunge.

The moment he knew he was yours and you were his was at a party, he’d taken you on lots of hot chocolate dates, he knew you didn’t like coffee because it tasted bitter to you and that coca was nice, but you preferred the sweet comfort of a creamy hot chocolate.

It was at a party being held by the Ice Hockey team to celebrate their latest string of wins. You didn’t come to parties often preferring the comfort of a book and a cosy night in, but you always tried to attend parties after the football matches. You walked in wearing a red top and black skinny jeans.

The top wasn’t super low cut, but it hinted at your cleavage, you’d left your hair down for a change in loose curls. You’d recently gotten your hair dyed a deep chocolate brown and it brought out your eyes. Pietro nearly lost his damn mind when his Ice-blue eyes met your chocolate brown eyes after he’d drank all of you in. He excused himself from the conversation he was having with Scott Summers and co making his way over to you.

“Bunny, you look good enough to eat,” Pietro said dipping his head down to meet your lips, your lips were always so warm and welcoming a stark comparison to his cool lips.

“Bunny?” You replied scrunching your nose up. This was the first time Pietro had called you a pet name, you felt your heart somersault.

Pietro was messaging his sister on the drive home. He could tell you had something on your mind, but he knew better than to push you.

“So,” you began.

“What’s up Bunny?” Pietro asked snapping his eyes up from his phone.

“Well, I just thought now might be a good time to talk, we’re clearly going to run into a lot of our old friends, and there’s no way Wanda won’t know something is going on here, and I, I saw your lock screen,” you said. Well yeah Pietro thought, was he meant to be keeping you guys a secret? He didn’t want to, and he had just assumed you were a couple. You did couple type things, watching movies together curled up, holding hands when you guys were out together.

“So you were wondering what we are?” Pietro’s couldn’t hide the amusement in his voice. God, you were adorable. He watched your demeanour change and felt a pang of guilt, the determination in your eyes as you tried to not show that you felt embarrassed.

“Hey Bunny, look at me” Pietro grabbed your hand, wanting you to know how much he truly meant the next few words.

“We are a couple. I’m sorry you felt the need to ask, but I adore you, so we are a thing,” he said stroking circles on the back of your hand. You smiled and nodded to yourself. Pietro held on to your hand stroking circles the rest of the traffic. He couldn’t wait to tell Wanda she was wrong about him never getting serious with anyone.

“Hey Wanda, have you got a second?” Pietro and Wanda were heading out to meet up with you and the rest of the old school gang who had made it home for the Winter Break in the local coffee shop.

“Sure brother, what’s up?” she asked shrugging on her red jacket and lacing up her boots.

“So, you know that girl I told you I was seeing?” Pietro asked, you two hadn’t said if you were going to tell people or just let them figure it out, but he at least wanted to give his twin a heads up. Wanda straightened her brown hair falling behind her ears. She impatiently cocked an eyebrow waiting for her twin to continue. They were going to be late at this rate.

“Well, you know her. In Fact, you’re good friends” Pietro continued sucking in his breath.

“If you mean to tell me you’re dating Y/N, I already know brother”, Pietro froze. “I’m happy for you, but if you break her heart like that James did, I will not hesitate to kill you and hide the body” she continued.

“How did you know?” Pietro couldn’t help but ask, you guys hadn’t been a secret, but you hadn’t exactly announced it to the world either.

“I’m good at reading people Pietro” Wanda shrugged before heading out the door.

“You sly dog,” Sam said chuckling. Just then Peter turned up. Sam’s comment hadn’t escaped you, so you simply shot Pietro a quizzical look, one of your eyebrows arched. Pietro gently shook his head. He’d tell you about the phone call later.

It was great hanging out with the old gang, shame about Carol, and Jane being unable to make it back. Bucky was dating that Natasha chick and hadn’t come home from the holidays. Evidently, this wasn’t a surprise to Sam or Wanda. Pietro however was a bit taken back. That was until he heard how his sister had almost killed Bucky when she had run into him last summer. Carol had had to restrain her. Pietro couldn’t lie he was kind of bummed to miss it.

Pietro and Wanda didn’t celebrate Christmas, but they did celebrate being around people they loved and as the four of you sat around waiting for Peter Parker to make an appearance, he couldn’t help but feel his heart swell. You hadn’t even reacted to the mentions of Bucky. The way your brown eyes lit up when you teased Sam about his poor season or crinkled your nose when Wanda complimented your new hair, made Pietro come completely undone. Not being able to restrain himself anymore he leant in and kissed you, a slow soft kiss. The taste of your gingerbread cookie and peppermint hot chocolate lingering on your lips. When Pietro pulled away, he shot Sam a wink, and you promptly turned crimson. Sam just sat there gawking. Pietro watched as Sam tried to piece together his hazy memory from that phone call.

2012

Pietro absolutely adored the photo you had gotten him for Christmas, displaying it on his bedside table proudly. He had brought you a stuffed bunny for Christmas, cheesy but it made you beam at him.

“A Bunny for my Bunny” Pietro said shooting you his signature grin. Your heart constricted; it was an adorable soft fluffy powder blue bunny.

After winter break things got crazy busy. The year also seemed to rush by, between keeping on top, your rehearsals for the play. Pietro’s football practises, football matches, nationals for your cheerleading competition. It felt like you had barely any time to breathe. Pietro always looked forward to football games, not because he loved playing which he did, no it was because when you were cheering your face lit up, you always had his number painted on your cheek. Your brown hair always pulled up in a high ponytail, accentuating your big beautiful brown eyes that always looked for Pietro’s ice-blue eyes on the field. Mostly he loved the looks of jealousy he would get from the other team when players would be checking you out. Pietro would always come over for a kiss for good luck when he wasn’t on the field. You always giggled about how Mr cool; the confident cocky big-time football player was such a dork around you. Pietro was fast, sometimes your eyes couldn’t quite make out his movements, all you would see was a flash of his silver-blonde hair that peeked out under his helmet. You had started calling him Quicksilver, originally as a joke but it had stuck.

“So, move in with me for the summer,” he had said, his heart pounding in his chest. It wasn’t a big deal really but the thought of waking up to you every day for the summer made him practically giddy. Pietro continued to stroke circles on your bare legs. He was watching Grease, but he wasn’t absorbing what was being said.

Pietro loved every single second he got to spend with you, but mostly he loved the summer. College football season had finished, school was winding down and it meant he got to sit in those quiet moments with you. Pietro had no plans to go home for the Summer.

Pietro adored you more than he was willing to admit, hell he loved you which is why he was always never going to push you for anything more than you were comfortable with. He was content just kissing you, steamy make-out sessions. He just liked being close to you breathing in your scent, in the winter you always smelt like Vanilla and crushed Rose Petals. In the summer you changed your body spray, and he hadn’t quite been able to pinpoint the smell, but you smelt like Peaches, sunscreen, and sunshine. Okay, maybe not sunshine but he felt the warmth of your presence every time you were together. Pietro knew you were stressing about summer accommodation so he couldn’t help but offer up his place.

“Okay, I’ll move in for the summer,” you said. You picked up the remote and pressed pause on the DVD Pietro had been so focused on trying to play it cool he hadn’t even heard you the first time you spoke. When you started undressing, Pietro didn’t know where to look. Sure, you’d spent nights together, but Pietro always left you to get changed in his room whilst he went to brush his teeth. His eyes couldn’t help but wander over your body as you walked into your bedroom. Pietro inwardly groaned and felt himself harden. Trying to take his mind off what he had just witnessed he pulled out his phone. That’s when you appeared in the door frame, wearing nothing but his football jersey, when it lifted to show the skin of your bare stomach Pietro nearly lost his damn mind.

“Well, are you coming or not handsome?” Pietro grinned throwing his phone on the sofa and closing the gap between you in seconds, picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder. Pietro was certain that if he didn’t get his way with you right that second, he would combust.

Winter Break 2012

“You love her, don’t you?” Wanda asked Pietro. You were finishing up tech rehearsals, so Wanda and Pietro were enjoying some sibling bonding by cooking Paprikash. Wanda’s eyes narrowed at Pietro who was avoiding eye contact with his sister. He could feel his sisters warm blue eyes boring into him. Eventually, Pietro stopped washing up and turned to face his sister. Wiping his hands on a tea towel he finally lifted his eyes to meet Wanda’s.

“Yes, of course, I do but that’s not a secret, so what are you actually asking Wanda?” Pietro raked a hand through his silver-blonde hair.

“It's obvious you two love each other Pietro, dearly. But you’re in love with her, you would hang the stars for that girl, and when are you going to admit it? You visibly had a thing for her back in high school and you have healed the damage done by James Barnes. So why don’t you let your guard down and tell her how you truly feel?” Wanda asked. Pietro stood there dumbfounded. Had it genuinely been that obvious to people he had liked you back in high school when you were Bucky’s girl? As if reading Pietro’s mind Wanda answered his question.

“You may have fooled everyone else Pietro, but not me” Wanda returned to her cooking and that was the last of the conversation.

“Are you sure your mum doesn’t mind me staying with you guys for winter break?” you asked twiddling your hair nervously. Pietro chuckled lifting your small suitcase into his car.

“Come on then quicksilver, let’s get going before the traffic builds up,” you said shooting him a grin your worries disappearing.

“Yes Bunny, she wouldn’t hear of you staying here alone. Besides, Wanda would rip my arms off if I even thought about coming home without you” he said pressing a kiss to your temple. Pietro had refused to let you drive saying it was his turn as you had driven last year. You still looked unsure tugging at the selves of your red jumper dress as you walked round to the front of his car. Your brown hair fell in loose waves, still slightly damp from your last-minute shower.

Pietro sensed something else was bothering you but didn’t push it. Instead, he hopped up on the bonnet of his car and pulled you between his legs. Pressing his forehead to yours, he uttered a silent promise that his mum would love you and that that the rest of the old gang would be happy for you both like they had all sworn they were. You looked up at him through your big doe eyes and pecked a gentle kiss on his nose.

“So, who did you say was coming tonight again?” you asked. You were standing in Wanda’s room whilst you both got ready for the small hang out Pietro and Wanda were hosting. Pietro had gone out to pick up Sam and Peter Parker and this girl he was bringing, Gwen. Pietro of course had been right about his mum loving you, you’d spent the last four days feeling welcome, included and at home. Wanda and Pietro’s mum had enveloped you into a big hug the moment she met you.

“Sam, Jane, Peter and his girlfriend Gwen. Carol’s coming, I think she said she was bringing her girlfriend. Now put this on” Wanda said handing you a low cut, slim-fitting black sweater dress. You rolled your eyes at Wanda; you were quite happy wearing one of Pietro’s oversized sweaters and your jeans, but you knew better than to argue with her. Just then you heard the door shut.

“It will be great to have so many of the old group back together,” Sam said shrugging off his jacket as he followed Pietro down to the converted basement.

“How are things between you and Y/N?” Sam asked.

“Sam, they’re pretty amazing,” Pietro said, a slight blush forming in his cheeks.

“Okay, that’s good to hear. Did you know Bucky’s in town for the holidays? I text him saying he should come along tonight; I hope that’s okay?” Sam asked. Pietro shrugged, he hadn’t spoken to Bucky since Bucky’s graduation and even then, that had been by phone. It wasn’t that Pietro actively avoided speaking with Bucky, it’s just that Pietro didn’t have anything to say to Bucky.

The pair of you had spoken in great detail about everything that went down between Bucky and yourself last year after winter break, and Pietro could see you still carried the scars from what he had done to when he cheated on yourself. Just then Wanda and you made your way downstairs into the basement. Pietro felt himself harden when he got a good look at what you were wearing. It was going to be a long night whilst Pietro thought the urge to take you upstairs and fuck you senseless. As if reading her brothers thoughts Wanda smirked to herself, a job well done, maybe now her brother would grow some balls and finally tell you exactly how he felt.

“Bunny, you look. Just wow” Pietro said. Sam rolled his eyes, you giggled before walking over to give Pietro a gentle kiss on the lips. You wrapped your arms around him hugging him close before you felt his hardened member. You cocked an eyebrow at him, but Pietro shook his head brushing your hair behind your ears before giving you another gentle kiss.

After about two hours, everyone had relaxed, caught up and were just chilling. Sam hadn’t heard from Bucky, so Pietro hadn’t thought anything more about it, no sense bringing it up to you if he didn’t show.

Sam had also gotten up nudging Pietro, swearing he would beat him next time. Pietro chuckled, that’s when Sam nudged him.

“You sly bastard Parker” Sam practically shouted. The three of them were playing Mario Kart whilst Taylor Swift played in the background, all though he’d never admit to anyone, including no, especially you. Taylor Swift had grown on him over the past year. Mostly because he loved the way you lit up when you sang along to her in the car.

Pietro was so engrossed in his game with the boys he barely registered you getting up off the sofa next to him. Whilst Sam had been busy yelling at Peter for using Banana peels, Pietro had overtaken Sam in the race. Once the game finished Pietro noticed you weren’t next to him. Feeling empty without you snuggled next to him he got up and stretched. He figured you were probably talking to the girls or something.

“Uh, Pietro, you might want to go save your girl from an awkward encounter with her ex” Sam looked pained. He was realising the error of his ways by inviting Bucky along. Pietro just shot him a puzzled look before following Sam’s line of sight. Pietro sucked a breath in.

“Sam, I swear to god if she ends up in tears tonight because of you, I will not hesitate to punch you in the face,” Pietro said before walking off to the fridge where you and Bucky stood.

“Yeah, schools fine thanks Bucky,” you said politely. Pietro’s heart was beating loudly in his chest, he had no concerns about how secure your relationship was, he just wanted to save you from any unnecessary heartbreak when it came to James “Bucky” Barnes.

December 2012 – August 2014

“Hey Bunny,” he said kissing the corner of your head before wrapping his arms around you.

“Hey Buck, long time no see!” Pietro said. Bucky stood frozen for a few seconds processing what he had just witnessed.

“Hey, Pietro Yeah. It's been a hot minute, so you two are a couple? You guys look cute congrats. Oh man, wow is that Peter over there? I barely recognise him I’m going to go say hey. Catch you guys later!” Bucky said practically running over to Peter. You turned around and kissed Pietro.

“Come on Quicksilver, let’s see if I can beat you at Mario Kart,” you said pulling him over to the sofa. Pietro instantly felt himself relax, glad to see that you hadn’t been impacted by Bucky’s sudden appearance. He grinned at you as he let you drag him behind you,

“What?” you said chuckling at his goofy grin.

“I’m just so fucking in love with you Y/N,” he said. Your heart skipped a few beats. Sure, you had both said I love you, but the way Pietro’s ice-blue eye’s shone at you, the way he had phrased it as being in love with you, made your heart squeeze, butterflies erupt in your stomach and all those other cliché metaphors.

“Pietro, I am going to rock you fucking world tonight, because I feel the exact same way”, you whispered in his ear. Pietro’s eyes bulged out of his head. He lent down and gave you a hungry kiss, sending electricity coursing through your body. When you finally broke free from the kiss Pietro, caught sight of Bucky glowering in the corner of the room ignoring whatever it was Peter was wittering on about.

Winter break came and went. Your second year at Uni whizzed past. Pietro even joined you and your family for your annual summer vacation in Miami, your grandparents were getting on a bit, so you decided to skip the summer production of Hairspray. Pietro joined you for two summers of family vacations in Miami. Your Grandma took a liking to him.

“Pietro, so good to see you again,” she said hugging him. “If I was 55 years younger”, she said shooting Pietro a wink. Pietro chuckled and stuck his tongue out at you.

“See I told you that she loved me the most out of all of you,” he said. You rolled your eyes. Pietro was right your grandma did have a soft spot for him. Who could blame her? Pietro was a true gentleman and his muscles stretched out any shirt he wore. His floppy silver-blonde hair and his goody grin. You were truly a lucky girl. He was going to break your grandma’s heart as much as yours when you two ended things this summer.

Saying goodbye to you was going to be one of the hardest things he ever had to do. The pair of you had spent the last week of summer in Florida with Wanda and her boyfriend James also known as Vision. Tomorrow you would both be getting on separate planes and going your separate ways. You were dancing around in the sea not a care in the world.

Pietro loved the way you were in the summer, the stresses of school melted away. You burned easily so your skin always had a very faint sun-kissed glow to it, but the way you were with your family. That was when you truly glowed. The way you blushed when your parents would talk about how proud they were of you. You were an only child, so your cousins were the closest thing to siblings you had.

And boy did your two male cousins pick on you. Teasing you about being smart, your relationship with Pietro. The way you would roll your eyes at them. Pietro’s heart squeezed with adoration when he watched you huddled in the kitchen with your grandma. Oblivious to the fact he was watching your brow would furrow in concentration as your grandma bossed you about in the kitchen whilst the pair of you cooked up some delicious treats.

“You know brother if you asked her to do long distance and wait for you, she would”, Wanda said sitting down next to Pietro. Wanda’s red hair almost looked like fire in the setting sun. Pietro sighed and shook his head.

“I know, but it’s not right or fair on her. She has plans of her own and we will be busy setting up your fashion label in NYC” he said, raking a hand through his hair.

“Besides, She's Cheer Captain, and I'm on the bleachers. She deserves to enjoy her last year, her heart is in Michigan, where her mum and dad are.” Pietro sighed. Just then you came bounding over. Your black bikini just about covering all it needed too. You plopped down on the blanket beside Pietro, your brown hair trying to escape its messy bun. You rested your head in Pietro’s lap. You giggled as he gently bopped your nose. Swallowing down the ache in your chest.

The pair of you stood wrapped in each other’s embrace at the airport, the rest of the world shut out. Pietro breathing in your familiar scent one last time. He didn’t need to hear you to know you were crying. It was taking everything in him not to cry too.

“Be good Bunny, don’t cause too much mischief with Loki and stay in touch. I love you my little Bunny” he said wiping the tears from your eyes. You couldn’t say anything, so you just held him tight and cried. When you finally broke the embrace and Pietro boarded. He wiped away the few tears that had escaped his eyes.

#pietro maximoff #pietro x reader #pietro x you #pietro fluff #bucky x natasha #wanda x vision #msmarvelwrites2k #marvel fanfiction #marvel au #avengers au

35 notes · View notes

scandeniall · 4 years ago

Text

cause u were my baby

pairing: atsumu x (implied black)f!reader (ur Aran’s sister but if u wanna imagine youre adopted go ahead no physical descriptors)

summary/warnings: honestly just based off my boo by usher. ur life around atsumu over the years (from kids to adults)/implied nsfw at the end when ur adults, bad words, thats it./timeskip spolier

a/n: format might be weird because i was initially doing these as headcanons but kept going and it changed. also also started with a sakusa version based on this song so um tune in next whenever i finish it oop-

wc:4.4k

It started when we were younger, you were mine

You’re not exactly sure when you’d met Atsumu. It seemed like he was always around. From the first day Aran came home trailing two considerably shorter twins behind him you’d been intrigued.

“Aran you never told us ya had a sister!” When they found out your name and exclaimed how cool it was there was no way you could’ve predicted your future.

Eventually it became a tiny school girl crush, on one of them as kids (you couldn’t quite tell them apart for the longest). You’d be overly happy whenever Aran brought them around, and always asked to tag along with him, but only when he mentioned he’d be seeing the twins.

You’d watched over the years as your brother only grew closer to them and as a result so did you, sorta. In middle school you’d come back from hanging with your own friends to hear the twins bickering while your brother just continued in with his homework. Being in the same year, you’d occasionally be dragged into helping them out, or sharing answers when it was too hard and “they’d learn it later, but need the answers now.”

At some point during middle school you’d grown an official crush on Atsumu, opting to take his side more often than not within his competition with Osamu. Despite that, nothing ever came of it as kids.

The older you got, the more attractive they’d seem to get, but you never paid much attention. After all, once you reached the world of high school, your young crush practically disappeared. Instead you’d taken a liking to all the new people you were exposed to.

As they got more and more passionate about volleyball and you parted class ways you never really saw them, except for the occasional times they’d come to your house. Even then, the conversations were short. Growing more confident, and friendly you’d still jokingly take Atsumu’s side to which he’d parade around like he’d won the lottery. “At least someone thinks I’m right.”

Of course you’d heard about Atsumu’s lack of popularity among his teammates. You’d overheard Osamu telling him at lunch one day to be nicer, and you couldn’t help but laugh at the lack of care he showed for others thoughts on his personality. As long as he was doing his job as a setter all’s good.

“Don’t think you’d say that if they decided to throw you in a ditch one day,” you’d tease hovering over their lunch table. “Maybe you should be a little nicer,”

“If they suck, then they suck.”

For the rest of your first year your conversations took on similar natures. One of you’d overhear something then butt in for a few moments before returning to your regularly scheduled lives.

You’d watch as the two of them grew into their volleyball skills, alongside your brother cheering from the sidelines as much as you could. Come your 2nd year Their notoriety and your connection to them caused a spike in your popularity. It was something that came to the irritation of your brother.

“Another date?” Your brother eyed the way you searched for the perfect pair of shoes while you waved him off.

You’d heard about the twins biggest fight. Osamu admitted that he’d be quitting volleyball after high school. Heard about the way Atsumu reacted, seen the way they stopped sitting together at lunch

“Shouldn’t ya be with yer friends,” the blonde twin mumbles, continuing to stab at the rice he’d brought for lunch. Or that Osamu packed, which is precisely why he couldn’t eat it. You slid into the empty seat in front of him, not even phased.

“Atsumu you need to make up with your Osamu. You two are driving Aran mad. And more importantly you need each other.” Your hand stops his that were previously stabbing at the food, by knocking the chopsticks out. With a sigh, you move the bento he’d been messing over and replace it with your own lunch. “Since you’re on your whole anti Samu stance, figured I’d get you some non Samu food. I’ll be eating this by the way.” You were intentional in keeping your voice light not wanting to further upset the firecracker. “I’m waiting on my thank you.”

“For what. Tryna get me to talk to the traitor-“

“Atsumu. He's your brother. Grow up. I’m just trying to help out my friends-“

“Yer just Aran’s sister who has a stupid crush on Samu. That’s why yer taking his side,” at that your eyes widen and the annoyance starts to set. Before you could refute he cuts you off. “We’re not friends. Never have been and never will be. Go hang out with Samu if you’re that desperate”

Silence settled upon the two of you before you swallowed the lump that had started to form.

“You’re right. We’re not friends and I’m just Aran’s stupid little sis how could i forget,” your tone is mocking as you gather up your own food. “You clearly have some issues to work through with Osamu and you’re upset but I’m not gonna be your verbal punching bag. Keep the lunch,” you sigh before standing. “I’ll see you around, maybe.” Atsumu couldn’t pinpoint it then but there sense of finality in your voice might’ve aided in the further irritation he carried through the rest of the day.

You’re not even sure when the twins got back on good terms. One day they’d started hanging back out at your place with Aran however you made it a point to never be around. It wasn’t until your brother’s graduation months later that Atsumu caught you for more than a few fleeting seconds.

“He’s really graduated huh-“ you were sitting in the empty gym after the ceremony. Everyone else had gone outside before you ditched your family with the promise of catching up and being back for Aran’s celebratory dinner. However Atsumu had watched you slip back in and curiosity killed the fox.

“Hey Tsumu,” you hummed, eyes glued on the chairs covering the floor. You only glanced at him once you felt the bleachers creak and did as he settled next to you.

“Why’re ya in here (Y/N)”

“Just thinking. I’m gonna miss him-“

“Arans really leaving us for the big guys huh- they grow up so fast.” The lightness in Atsumu’s voice has you smiling before shaking your head before focusing back on the gym floor.

“Not Aran. Well- yeah I’m gonna miss him too but I’m talking about my boyfriend. Well ex who kinda broke up with me yesterday. Something about going off to Uni and needing something new. Seeing him here too was weird.”

Atsumu just nods. He’d heard that you’d started dating some 3rd year shortly after your disagreement. According to Aran and even Osamu the guy wasn’t necessarily a bad guy but wasn’t really a good one either. “(Y/N) could do better but if she’s happy,” he’d listen to Aran complain before, a rarity from a guy who tried seeing the good in people. And it was true, you were happy. Extremely so.

“Sorry about that,” you just give him another nod before he sighs. “M’sorry about blowing up at ya a while back too. Saying that we weren’t friends,”

“Is Miya Atsumu apologizing for someone.” Your fake shock is accompanied by you turning your body to face his. “Do I need to get this on camera for proof. Where’s Rin.” The way you pull out your phone pretending to film has him laughing before jokingly telling you to shut it.

“You worked things out with Samu?”

Atsumu only shrugs. “I’m still pissed but we still have 1 more year. And I gotta focus on being happier and more successful.”

“Do I even wanna know?”

Instead of responding Atsumu just stands before offering you a hand. “Ya going to the party?” He was referring to the one the parents had planned to celebrate the graduates. It was at your house but you weren’t sure if you were gonna actually show or just hang with a friend for a few hours. You still hadn’t taken his hand up and he looked at it expectedly.

“Hadn’t decided. Kinda sad ya know,” you joke before taking it.

“All the more reason. Forget about that loser. Besides if Aran finds out I knew ya were sad and did nothin’ he’d kick my ass.” You thought for a moment before caving, not even noticing had neither of you had let go.

That was the start of it all for you two. Following the party you’d rekindled your friendship with the twin and as break started the two of you grew closer. There’d been many nights when you two would sneak out and go on late night adventures. Convenience store runs. Scooter rides or even to parks to help him practice. You’d even started hanging around when they had official team practices to where he’d started walking you home.

Your first kiss happened on one of those walks. Your arms had brushed several times as he complained about poor spikes or missed serves and how they weren’t gonna be Karasuno with that performance.

“They’re stressing you out just how you stressed Kita out captain”

“And yer brother,” you nod as your hands brushed again. “How’s he doin anyways,”

“Pretty good. Just practicing a lot and stuff. He’s always tired when we talk.” Another brush. You start tuning Atsumu out as you debate on making a move. The two of you had gotten considerably closer to the point where people had teased calling him your boyfriend. However you could’ve been imagining it and the chemistry. Maybe he just saw you as a sister much like Osamu but picked up on your feelings and didn’t wanna hurt them and ruin things.

“Hey Atsumu,” the way you stopped had him confused. However before he could question it you started. “Do you like me? Like-like me?”

He thought for a moment before answering just with a shrug. “Well yeah. Course Aran would kill me for some of my thoughts but—yeah.” You weren’t even sure why you were so surprised with the ease of how he admitted it. He always said what he meant and all you could do was nod before managing to could out something that sounded like “good”

“Good. That’s all ya gotta say? C’mon (Y/N) give me something. Do ya like me?” With a nod from you he finds himself surprisingly flustered before doing the same as you. Only this time he’d moved closer head lowering. “Well that’s good”

The two of you started dating shortly after and into your last year. It wasn’t something that went unnoticed either. The way he’d lean against your locker trying to be cool, definitely falling more than once. The few people that had been privy to your quick makeout sessions when you’d meet up in empty hallways while you were supposed to be using the restroom. The way you’d started eating lunch together more often and if people played enough attention they’d noticed that you often shared drinks because “things taste better when they aren’t yours.” Then the most obvious, how you’d hang around early at games and stayed after and how he was so excited to beat Karasuno at nationals that he’d actually made out with you in public. (Aran had nearly murdered him upon finding out about that)

After graduation you two had gone off to different places and it was a struggle. There were arguments about not making time for one another. Between your academics and his pursuit at going pro, it was a struggle. But things were always made worth it. The time you’d created and sent him a care package and he texted you back a selfie with the basket with tears in his eyes. Or how you made the 3 hour train ride down for important matches or during your school breaks because he’d sounded super down about not being able to nail a new serve.

There were times where he’d stay on video call with you long after he should’ve been in bed because you were stressed about finals and up still studying. Then the time he surprised you by coming down for a milestone birthday. He’d showed up at your apartment at some odd hour completely exhausted and ready to fall over the second you opened the door.

“Atsumu?”

“Surprise baby,” he slurred using the last bit of his energy to hug you tightly. “Happy birthday”

“Tsumu what are you doing here,” you’d pull away however he attached himself back to you arms locked around your middle and face buried in the side of your neck.

“Talk later, sleep now.” You find yourself nodding before prying his hands off your and intertwining them with yours.

“Let’s get you some sleep Tsumu”

There were the late night drives as young adults listening to old school music and singing your hearts out just having fun. It was during the holidays and you two had both gone back home to be with your families.

“Hey babe technically this is us.” Atsumu is the one to turn the radio down as a familiar song starts. “And you were my babyyyyy,” His screeching fills the car causing you to laugh and swat the hand that had been casually resting on your thigh off. “It started when we were younger-”

“Atsumu shut up and pay attention to the road.” You smile as his hand immediately finds its way back on you. “But you are my boo.”

The night the Jackals beat the Adlers you were sure Atsumu would want to go out and party and you were more than fine with it. However while waiting for him to finish up you’d gotten word of his celebratory plans from a post game interview. “Just gna hang at home. Watch a few movies, eat a cheat meal, ya know.”

It’s about an hour later before Atsumu meets up with you at the stadium's entrance. You notice how his hair hadn’t fully dried as he shifts his duffel bag to the other arm to grab your hand on your preferred hand holding side as the two of you make your way across the parking lot. “Are you sure you don’t wanna go out with the guys?”

The squeeze of his hand confirms his decision. “I’ll see em’ tomorrow. We haven’t spent much time together these days. As the two of you approach the car you let go before asking him if he wanted you to drive. After he confirmed he was good to you slipped into the passenger seat listening as he tossed his bag in the back before sliding into the driver's seat. “Besides,” his hand makes its way towards your cheek, guiding your face to his. “I can think of a much better way to celebrate.”

“Is that so?” Your tease is quiet as you inch closer lips only a hair away. He’s the one who closes the space and you immediately reciprocate. Your lips immediately move against his mumbling a “congratulations” against his lips. You indulge it for a moment before pulling away to press kisses up his neck until you reach his ear before whispering something.

“Are ya serious?” At your nod he lets out a groan that you can’t help but laugh at him. “Yer gonna be the death of me one day”

“Love you too.”

The day he found out he’d made the Olympic team had been cause for celebration for more than one reason. The two of you had been getting ready for a regular day of running errands when he got the call. After hanging up he yelled for you so loud it could have gotten a noise complaint from neighbors.

“Atsumu why are you yelling. Im in the bathroom not fucking Antarctica.”

“I’m on the Olympic team baby.”

Following that you decided to turn the day into an Atsumu day something that made his heart swell. From the way you kept telling him how proud of him you were to watching his favorite movie even though you hated it. Once you insisted on making his favorite for dinner he knew it was time. In return he convinced you to get dressed in something other than sweats to eat dinner on your couch. “I just think we should take some pictures so I can show off my biggest supporter,” is what he told you with a shrug when you questioned it.

You also shouldve known something was up when he insisted that he had desert covered, because the man couldn’t bake for shit. “It's a delivery, cmon have some faith in me.”

“I do baby. In everything except for baking.”

You’d just finished eating dinner and the two of you were cuddled on the couch watching another movie, one of your boyfriend’s choices. You’d shifted uncomfortably for the fifth time before looking at Atsumu. “Can I change yet, these jeans aren’t comfortable anymore.” You were caught off guard when he moved so that he pulled you so that you were straddling him.

“Better?”

“Not at all,” you rolled your eyes while he just laughed, fingers squeezing at your hips.

“Just wait til desert, yer brother’s on his way with it now.” He placed a quick kiss on the skin of your collarbone before pointing at his phone for you to hand to him. “Did he tell ya he's on the olympic team too?”

“He's my brother. I was gonna treat him to dinner tomorrow. You tell Samu yet?”

“Not yet. Was gonna do it after Aran left.” You don’t miss the way Atsumu tries to hide the messages on his phone, his brightness all the way down, something he usually hates. Before you can question anything he's pulling you so that your lips meet his. “Stop looking so concerned,” he whispers against your lips.

“Yer so fuckin pretty baby,” the way his fingers tighten against your sides and the way his tongue slips into your mouth has the quietest moan coming out of your mouth. You pout as he pulls away settling for kisses along your neck instead. “You’ve been so good to me today. Can’t wait to get to bed with you.”

Before anything could go any further a knock on the door interrupts. “It's probably Ojiro,” you whine, mildly annoyed at your brother for interrupting you from where things were headed. “Tsumu let go,” you frown at the failed attempt of getting off him. You've met with a quick kiss before his palm comes firm against your ass, a yelp escaping. With that he lets you go laughing at the scowl you shoot him as he goes to get the door.

You don’t even bother to look at the two yet you can hear Aran’s scold that the two of you were disgusting.

“How’d ya know we were even doin anything”

“Your lips are swollen.” After that the two of them get into a whispered conversation that you can’t pick up on no matter how hard you try to listen. Before you know it your brother crosses through the apartment to place a box in the kitchen before joining you in the living room. “Congrats big bro,” you stand hugging him slightly before plopping down on the couch. He gives a smile of thanks before changing the subject.

“Miya here isn’t corrupting you too much right.” You both ignore Atsumu’s exclaim that he isn’t the one corrupting anyone has you hear him shuffle around in the kitchen.

When he gets back he brings the box, some plates and a few utensils. “What is it?” He nearly trips trying to set it all down before you get up to help him. After helping him you notice that he doesn’t sit back on the couch and looks off. “Tsumu are you ok?” You give your brother a concerned look but he just shrugs.

“(Y/N). could ya,” he nervously motions for you to stand back up and you comply confused. Grabbing his hand you watch him carefully, silently trying to check in on him. When he doesn’t answer you lean up to place a quick kiss on his lips. A silent “I love you,’ something that seems to calm him down. “I I love you too”

“You wanna sit down now?”

“Yeah just let me get this off my chest first?” Your nod is his signal to continue. “I don't remember when I met ya. At all. All I know is that there was this super cool guy with a super cool name and me and Samu kinda just followed him around. Then we found out he had a little sister.” You were used to some of Atsumu’s mindless babbling but the reason for bringing that up right then and in front of Aran was still going over your head.

“Somewhere along the way I fell in love with ya. I can tell ya that the first day I realized my crush was after Aran’s graduation. You were sittin in the gym and we just talked. You were sad about some loser and I didnt like that. Course I couldn't say anythin cause we weren’t even really friends then.” That pause is when what might be happening hits you and you freeze. It’s something Atsumu notices right away, eyes looking at you with concern. “Ya alright?”

The only thing you could do was nod offering a slight squeeze of his hand prompting him to continue. “Alright—where was I —ok. Then we got together and I knew it was love. Ya made me feel like I was I’m top of the world even when I was a jackass.”

“I almost thought we wouldn’t make it when ya when off to university. It was hard but we made it. we used to argue so much about stupid shit back then too. You were there before anyone knew who I was as a kid and have stayed with me all the way to being an Olympic athlete.”

At this point you watch as he begins to kneel and you’re hit with the fact that he’s really about to do it. You’re nodding before he even asks which causes him to laugh. “Let me finish alright.”

“I’m so in love with everything about you and after the announcement I realized we weren’t gettin any younger. You’ve been my boo since we were 17 and here we are almost a decade later. You’re still my boo and I want it forever. So (Y/N) will you marry me?”

You’re not even sure real words came out before you’ve tackled him to the ground in a hug immediately pressing kisses all over his face. Your eyes are teary as his hand rubs comforting circles on your back. The two of you are there for a few moments before Aran finally clears his throat.

“I can't believe my little sister is engaged. And to Atsumu no less.congratulations you two.” He shoots you both a warm smile as he watches the two of you. After getting up your arms fling immediately around Aran.

“Did you know about this,” the tears finally begin to fall as he just laughs confirming. “I can't believe you let him ambush me like this.” You feel your brother's arms embrace you at the mixture of laughing and crying.

“Hey, I knew he was proposing soon, not the day. He just called me up earlier claiming today was the day. Now stop crying and look at the cake.” Confusion crosses your face until you’re turned around to see Atsumu holding a cake that reads: marry me? (pls) the ring placed right under the words.

After you'd calmed down the three of you just sat in the living room catching up when you realized something. “Atsumu, you were so corny with the song reference.” Looking at Aran the two of you immediately burst into laughter. “I can't believe you referred to me as your boo. Out loud and in all seriousness”

“I got it on camera too. Got him in 4K” Aran shakes his head.

“I can't believe this. I propose and yet still clowning me. I miss when ya were all emotional,” your fiancé huffs. Despite that he doesn’t move at all from sitting so close that your legs touched. His eyes kept shooting at the ring on your finger and the desire to get you alone grew by the minute. At some point his hand slipped from the back of the couch to your thigh offering a squeeze.

It was then that Aran cleared his throat. “That’s my cue to head on out. I’ll see you tomorrow sis. Congrats again you two. Don’t—I’m not ready to be an uncle yet, s’all I gotta say.”

“After the Olympics work better for ya teammate?”

“How about never Miya”

The two of you bid your brother one last goodbye after the warning and before the door is even fully closed your fiancé is pulling you back into his lap. Your heart swells at the way Atsumu’s eyes look at you with so much love and your voice comes out way quieter than you intended. “Still can’t believe you quoted Usher”

Atsumu groans at that The hand that had been plaing with your, ghosting over the ring comes to a stop. . “I’m never showing anyone else that video.”

“It’ll be our little secret.”

“You're lying”

The smirk on your face tells him all he needs to know and all he can do is shake his head. “If yer gonna tell my deepest secret I’m gonna need you to make it up to me.” His hand slip around your waist, fingers skimming the space where your shirt had ridden up. you return the touch by trailing your hands until palms are placed again his chest.

“I think we can arrange something. Isn’t that right pretty?” The touch and hushed words were enough to cause heat to flare across your skin.

“What’d you’d have in mind?”

“A few things,” Atsumu leans close, placing kisses everywhere except your lips. First your close one. Then along your jaw. Right on the corner of your lips. “Think we’ve got some celebrating to do, fiancé.”

Atsumu forgot to tell Osamu that night and was ambushed the following morning after watching his private story in which Atsumu made you flash your hand to the camera with an obnoxious number of zooms with the caption: made the Olympic team and got my forever boo 🤪

#haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #atsumu x reader #atsumu imagines #hq imagines #hq imagine #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu imagines #atsumu imagine

86 notes · View notes

erule · 4 years ago

Text

Sounds of Someday

Title: Sounds of Someday

Pairing: Dean x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 6700ish

Warnings: age gap (the reader is 21, while Dean is 26), mention of self-sabotage, mention of a mother abandoning her child, slight smut, angst, romance, friends to lovers, professor!Dean, plot twists, betrayal from a father figure, breakup, language, happy ending.

Summary: Dean and the reader have always been good friends, even since their fathers made them play together when they were kids. After loving Dean for six years, she thought she had forgotten about him, but when they see each other again at her house, she realizes that she’s still in love with him. But maybe even Dean seems to feel something for her this time. The problem? She’s about to graduate from uni and her father wants her to leave for London. What will she do? Will Dean be willing to let her go now that he has found her again?

A/N: Hello hello! This fic participates to Jen’s Make Me Cry Challenge. Thank you Jen for the opportunity and congrats again for your goal! I chose prompt #7, We were never friends, that you can find marked in bold inside the story. I had so much fun writing it! This story means so much to me, I really put my heart into it, so I hope you like it.

I suggest you to listen to Sounds of Someday by Radio Company (fic’s title comes from there), 21 by Gracie Abrams (the whole idea of the story comes from here) and Empty Spaceby James Arthur while reading, if you want.

If you wanna be tagged in my Dean Winchester fics, just let me know in my ask box! You can also find me on AO3 and Wattpad. Feedback is always appreciated by a writer! Enjoy!

Tags: @akshi8278 @jawritter

Story under the cut!

«So, it was all a lie, uh?» she asked, holding back the tears.

Dean clenched his jaw, shaking his head.

«No, of course not. It was all true and we were real, Y/N. It’s just that we can’t do this anymore.»

«You’re breaking up with me after you said you loved me, in a very emotionless way and I should believe that…? Listen Dean, I’m not buying it. Did my Dad forced you to do this?» she asked, coming closer to him. Dean swallowed, without looking at her. She said he wasn’t feeling anything, but she was wrong. He felt something. He felt his whole body burning up just because of her breath near him, but he coudn’t say it. «You can’t even look at me in the eye… You’re gonna regret it, Dean. You’re not coming back from this.»

«Good, because I don’t want to» he replied, with his best poker face. He really seemed cruel. He had to.

She bit her bottom lip.

«I hope you’re satisfied with this ending. I’m certainly not.»

«Endings are never easy. I’m sorry, kiddo.»

«I hate when you call me like that, now» she said, her throat dry as the desert. He used to call her like that when she was younger. It was like he cared about her, but making a distance between them at the same time. Dean looked at his bare feet, feeling so guilty. «You used to call me like that, when we were just friends.»

«But that’s the matter, Y/N: we were never friends» he said, trying to hurt her even more.

«Well, fuck you, Dean!» she yelled, angrily.

«I’m sorry, ba… Y/N.»

«Fuck you, Dean» she repeated, then she surpassed him to get to the door.

***

«Hey Y/N, come downstairs! The Winchesters are here!» said her father.

«I’m coming!»

That was the day of their ruin.

She hadn’t seen Dean in a year and now he looked stunning. He had always been handsome, but now, that guy, who had just turned twenty-six, seemed better than ever. He was breathtaking.

She sighed on the stairs, then she went downstairs to welcome Dean, his brother, Sam and his father, John. Her father, Jay, had always been a good friend of John, so Sam and Dean were always at her house to play when they were kids. Then, Dean was always coming around because he constantly asked her father what he had to do to become a teacher and now he had finally become a professor at her university. She was twenty-one and she was about to graduate. Jay wanted her to go to London to find a job, but she wasn’t sure about that, because her dream was heading to Chicago.

«Y/N, are you okay?» Jay asked her.

«Yes, of course! I was just thinking, sorry. Hi, everybody» she said, politely.

Dean immediately offered her his hand to shake.

«Hey, Y/N. You look really beautiful, tonight» he said. Y/N blushed and her father noticed that.

«Are you hitting on my daughter, Dean?» joked Jay.

«I always am» Dean replied, with a wink.

Everybody laughed at that, but Y/N doubted about his answer for a moment. Dean wasn’t someone who talked like that about any girl, not about her anyway, for sure. But that thought was erased instantly: he wasn’t interested in her. She wasn’t attractive, he said that some years before that day with a very simple sentence: “You’re like a sister to me. The little sister I never wanted”. Yeah, that pretty sure cancelled all of her thoughts.

After the dinner, she went to the garden to breathe some air. She sat down on the little swing they still had from her childhood, a cold beer in her hands and the eyes full of the stars she was looking at.

Later, she surprised Dean on the door, staring at her. He made her heart beat faster than ever, like the last time she saw him. That was bad, very bad. She had healed from her crush on him a long time ago, she hadn’t to fall for him all over again. It was just painful. Too much painful.

«Hi» he said, his voice even lower than she remembered.

«Hey» she said, offering him her beer. «You want some?»

«Why not?»

So, he sat on the other swing. They just seemed two children too grown up for that game.

«How’s uni goin’? I didn’t have the chance to see you after class. It was weird to see you there, even if I was just an assistant of your professor» he said. Y/N chuckled.

«It’s going well. I just need to pass my last exam and then I’ll be free!» she exclaimed, opening her arms as they were a bird’s wings. He laughed. «I think you were very serious, Winchester.»

«Was I?»

«Yes» she answered. Dean was looking at the beer, nodding. «You’re understimating yourself as always, aren’t you?»

«You know me better than anyone else» he said and then drank a sip from his beer.

“And even despite that, I loved you anyway”, she thought.

«You’ve worked so hard for that, Dean. Don’t let anyone take it away from you. You hear me?» she said, pointing a finger at him. Dean smiled.

«Yes’, m’am.»

«Good» she said, chuckling. «I’m your number one fan» she added, then she grabbed the beer from his hands to take another sip because being around him made her nervous, but drinking just made the situation worse. «In fact, I had a pretty bad crush on you when I was younger.»

Dean’s eyes seemed to turn dark, but maybe it was just a wrong impression.

«This is getting interesting» he said, with a grin.

«You didn’t notice it? No? Well, when I was in high school I was head over heels for you. I couldn’t think about anyone else, even if when I dated some other guy. They just… weren’t you.»

«Why didn’t you tell me?» he asked, watching her finishing the beer.

«Because you always took home some very pretty girls and I always thought that I wasn’t enough for you.»

«Who’s understimating herself, now?» Dean said and she laughed.

«Touché.»

Then, Dean took the bottle away from her hands, touching her fingers. He was warm, unlike the weather. She turned to look at Dean, while her arms were now freezing. His gaze was slowly coming down from her eyes to her lips. Her heart was racing in her chest, not letting her breathing properly. He had never looked at her like that. What had changed?

«Here, take my jacket» he said out of the blue, offering her it. «Your nose is red like Rudolph’s.»

She was about to get the jacket with trembling hands, when the voice of her father arrived from the door.

«Y/N! Dean! What are you doing there? Come inside!»

His jacked fell on the grass. Y/N stretched an arm in order to get it, but Dean’s hand was faster. He gave it to her, staring at her figure. She was about to burst into flames.

«Your hands were shaking. Why?» he asked and it was like he was closer to her, because she could feel his scent on herself, the smell of leather and mint.

«You just said that yourself: I’m cold» she lied.

«Or was it because I was too close to you?»

She raised her gaze in order to look at him. His eyes were dark like two black holes.

«Y/N!» Jay called. «Get inside! Now!»

Fortunately, that woke her up. She got up from the swing and came in the house. John and Sam were about to leave, that’s why they were saying goodbye to Jay.

«Is that Dean’s jacket?» Sam asked her, with a grin.

«Y-yes.»

«Hey, whatever you’re doing here, stop it» John said to Dean, when he came inside.

«I’m not doing anything. She was just cold» Dean said, with a shrug. She gave him an eloquent look. He didn’t know that they could play that game together.

Dean winked at her.

«You can keep the jacket, if you want.»

«Nah, I don’t need something to remind me of your cockiness» she said. Sam laughed. Dean nodded, admitting the defeat to himself. «But thanks, though. I was really freezing out there.»

«You’re such a liar, Y/N» Dean murmured at her ear, while she was returning his jacket to him.

«Alright, alright, stop it, kids» Jay said. «Dean, I’ll see you tomorrow at work. John, Sam, we’ll see each other another time. Drive safely.»

«Thank you, Jay» John said.

And then, they were gone. Y/N helped her father to clean up the kitchen, smelling a strange scent nearby her. He was unusually quiet, but she didn’t want to hear something about London or Dean again. She just wanted to go to bed, feeling pretty satisfied about that evening. She didn’t know why, but Jay seemed to understand it and in fact, he didn’t shoot any question.

She got to bed feeling the scent of Dean still on herself.

***

«We can’t study like this» Olivia said, putting the books aside. «What’s bothering you? London again?»

«Oh, believe me, I wish!»

«Is there something more important than London?»

«Well… do you remember that guy I liked back in high school?»

«Who? That idiot that made you feel like you weren’t enough?» Olivia asked and Y/N nodded. «You’re joking, right?»

«I saw him the other night and I think that he was hitting on me.»

«This can’t be real!» she shouted.

«Please, be quiet» Y/N begged her.

«What was his name? Daniel? Dave?»

«Dean.»

«Dean! Yeah, I remember what you told me about him. He was an ass.»

«Nah, he was just stupid. Now he’s not like that anymore» Y/N said, putting her chin on a hand. A part of her was still thinking about his beautiful green eyes and his hands touching hers.

«Hey! You have to pass this exam, remember?» Olivia said.

«Yes, right. Get back to study.»

Olivia agreed with a smile. She was reading the book again, legs crossed on Y/N’s bed, but Y/N couldn’t. Yeah, London was important, but on the other hand, Dean was her first love. She couldn’t think to leave without knowing if he was just playing with her or not. His eyes were insanely dark the other night, when he was looking at her. Was he just glad that another woman had a crush on him or did it mean something to him? And also, why now? She had so many thoughts in her mind. Then, she noticed that Olivia was staring at her. She was wondering was Y/N was thinking and when she got it, her eyes just popped out like she was a puppet.

«Oh, fuck Dean Winchester!»

Someone opened the door. Y/N almost fell from the bed when she saw who had done that. She prayed that he didn’t hear Olivia.

«Was that an insult or an invitation?» Dean asked, his shoulder lying on the door’s jamb. «I’d prefer the second one» he said with a wink in Y/N’s direction.

Of course, he had to hear that, she thought.

«What are you doing here, Dean?» Y/N asked.

«I was working with your Dad. He wanted me to ask you if you girls would like to take a break from studying and come downstairs» he answered. Olivia kept looking at him like he was the Devil, though. «Do we know each other?» Dean asked, but she shaked her head.

«Not really.»

«It’s definitely time to take a break!» Y/N exclaimed.

Olivia went downstairs, but Dean stopped Y/N from doing that. He closed the door behind himself, scaring her. Why would he do that? It was like they were in some cheap rom-com. That was getting worse.

«Look Y/N, I want to apologize about the other night» he said. Oh, she didn’t see it coming. «I’m not that kind of guy anymore and I just want you to know that. It’s just that… this job is everything I have ever wanted and I’m so scared of screwing things up, that it’s like I’m doing that on purpose because I think I don’t really deserve it, so I try in every way possible to screw up my life too to prove it. I don’t want to ruin our friendship. I appreciate what you told me and for that, I promise I won’t use it your weaknesses against you.»

Y/N was overwhelmed by all of that. It seemed like Dean had really became a very mature version of himself and she was really glad he did. Unfortunately, it also made him even more likeable to her.

«Thanks, Dean» she said.

«No problem» he replied with a smile.

And that, that was the moment she knew she fell in love with him all over again. The very start of her downfall.

Two weeks later, she had successfully passed her exam. It was snowing, so she decided to go to a pub near the university with her friends to celebrate. It was Friday night, after all. Olivia came with a gift from her, since she was heading to London and it was a new coat.

«It’s red, but don’t be naive like Little Red Riding Hood» she said, but Y/N didn’t understand what she meant until she didn’t see someone entering from the door. Someone who noticed her and that now was approaching their table.

«Hi! How did your exam go?» Dean asked. Olivia rolled her eyes.

«Well, I just passed it, so I’d say not bad» Y/N answered, happily.

«I knew it! Come here» he said, before he could give her a proper hug. Every inch of her body just burned up.

«Thanks, Dean» she said with a soft smile. She’d have sweared she saw Dean’s eyes shine.

«I’ll leave you to your friends» he said.

She looked at Olivia, who was already shaking her head, but she wanted him to stay really bad, so in the end, after she bit her bottom lip, she called him.

«Dean! Hey, if you’re not busy with your friends, maybe you could… you know… stay.»

Dean smiled and he felt her heart doing a flip.

«Unfortunately I’m here with other professors, but I’ll come around later, is that okay?»

She nodded.

«Yes» she said, lying to him.

Then, the hours passed very quickly. She spent the evening laughing and joking with her friends, but she couldn’t deny that she often glanced at Dean. The thought of being there wih him but far away, killed her from within. It was as if a rib was missing from her body, a limb of her skin that now belonged to him. It belonged to him since she was fifteen, actually.

The pub was about to close. Oliva was very drunk, so she got home with a friend, while the others went away. Maybe it was a dumb idea, but she stayed because of Dean’s promise. Ten minutes later, while she was sitting at the table all alone, someone offered her a beer.

«Hey, I’m here finally» Dean said, taking a seat in front of her.

«Hi» she replied with a tired smile.

Dean wetted his lips before talking.

«I saw your friends leaving and I was wondering… why did you stay here, all alone?» he asked.

Her heart started racing faster and faster in her chest. Did she want him so bad to ruin everything between them? Dean was someone who noticed things so he probably did understand the situation very well. Also, his bad jokes that night at her’s still made her think that maybe he liked her too. Maybe not as much as her, but it was still something. But was it right to settle with someone who didn’t want her completely? Because she wanted Dean in every aspect a human being could be wanted.

«Where’s the catch? Because you said that you didn’t want to use my feelings against me» she said.

Dean clenched his jaw, looking at his hands crossed on the table. He still had the silver ring of his mother. Then, he slowly looked at her, raising his eyelids, so seriously she could swear it was maybe the first time she saw him that way.

«No catch. I just wanna know. You’re free to tell me a lie and I’ll believe it. But please, if you stayed here because you were waiting for me, I’d really love to hear it.»

Her throat was dry.

«Why?»

«Because no one ever did something like this for me. And I know that it probably seem stupid, but it shows me that you care» he answered, with a soft smile on his lips. «So, I’m gonna ask you for the last time, before they kick us out, why did you stay here?»

She swallowed, looking straight into his eyes. They were incredibly green. Constellations of flowers. It was now or never. Her voice was like a winter’s breath, when she spoke.

«For you.»

Then, she couldn’t remember how they arrived to Dean’s apartment, but she remembered very well how his clothes fell on the floor or the way he delicately throw her dress off of her. It was all slowed like in a movie. It almost seemed a dream to her.

«I’m not doing this, if you don’t want me to» Dean said, his thumb brushing her lips.

«I want you, Dean. I’ve always wanted you. Always» Y/N said and then, Dean kissed her so hard, they crumbled on the bed.

She felt the coldness of his ring on her back, while his fingertips were caressing it. Their lips found each other and a spark was born, fuse of the Apocalypse. She felt like collapsing, cut into two parts, completely folded as a blooming flower.

He completed them. Every single empty space. He filled them all.

«Could you repeat it, please? Always.»

She smiled on his lips.

«Always» she whispered, between the kisses. «Always.»

And she kept repeating it all night.

***

She looked at him like he wasn’t supposed to be there, but she was glad he was. It was her graduation day. They’ve been together for three months, without their fathers knowing it, but Sam and Olivia were well aware of that. Never in a million years she would have thought to see that day. To actually see Dean there, standing between her father and Sam, clapping at her with a smile so bright on his face, she could swear it could cure every disease. It was so pure, but mostly, happy and it was all for her. She held back the tears, but it was, without a doubt, the most important day of her life. The most beautiful one. Maybe having faith did help at something.

She got back to Jay, who hugged her tight and said something like My baby has graduated now in a very proud tone of voice. She also hugged John and Sam, before she could finally look at Dean.

«You did it» he said.

«I did it» she repeated, blushing, even if she didn’t know why. He had that influence on her.

«I knew you would have made it» he said and then, he did something she wouldn’t thought he would have done. He kissed her.

It was like her whole world fell apart. He cupped her cheeks and gave her a gentle kiss on her lips. She felt her whole chest burning because of that, her skin collapsing between his hands.

When they parted, she saw the light in his eyes and bit her bottom lip. It was an authentic moment of pure joy. The emotion in his gaze was real. He was real. It was like the universe had accepted every desire she wished for, every year for six years. He meant it. And he was there to see her succeed.

Thank you, her lips mimed.

But his answer surprised her once again: I love you.

She didn’t even have the time to elaborate his words, that her father spoke: «What just happened?»

She felt it. That was the moment he was about to tear Dean away from her. The moment she didn’t want to come. The moment everything fell apart like a castle made of sand. She felt the coldness in her bones, like a warning.

«Jay, please…» John tried to say, but Jay stopped him with the sign of his hand.

«You’re not getting away with this, Dean» Jay said and Dean just shrugged, like it was normal to him.

«I don’t understand, Jay. Did I offend you in any way?» he asked, calmly.

«We’ll talk later.»

And then, she understood. He kissed her on purpose becase it was a public place, so Jay couldn’t say anything because of his reputation, but now he knew about them. Clever, very clever.

After the ceremony, Dean took her hand and they just hid behind the stage. He kissed her, his hands everywhere and nowhere along her dress, that ascended her legs, her stomach, her waist.

«You think you’re smart, Winchester?» she asked, while he was sucking the skin of her neck.

«I think I’m utterly smart, as a matter of fact» he said, looking at her with messy hair and dark eyes.

God, he was so beautiful in that moment.

She laughed. A laugh so clear and free that made Dean smile like a child. It was so unreal.

«He’s gonna kill you, you know that?»

«I already spent three months of Heaven with you, who cares?»

«Heaven? Damn, I have to be a wild fire in bed.»

«Oh, trust me baby, you are» he said and she laughed again.

«Come on now, Sam and your friends are waiting for us. We’re gonna get so drunk tonight, you’re not gonna even remember your own name!» he said with an excited voice, kissing her hand.

«But I’ll certainly still remember you» she replied, with two images of Dean in her eyes like two comets. He gave her a delicate kiss on her lips.

«You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me, Y/N.»

The next day, Dean got up in a strange room. He wasn’t in his apartment for sure. It looked very different. He looked at his watch: 11 AM. What did he do last night? And then, when he turned, he saw the answer: the girl of his dreams was sleeping next to him. He caressed her hair, left a kiss on her temple and then put on his clothes.

When he got downstairs, he immediately met her father in the kitchen. He saw Dean while he was drinking a cup of coffee.

«’Morning, Jay» he said.

Jay groaned in his direction. He was surely still angry at him. He wanted to talk to him, but he had a terrible headache due to the hungover, so he wasn’t at his best. He sat down at the table, thinking about his next move, when Jay gave him a cup of coffee and an Aspirine.

«I talk, you take this» he started. «Look Dean, we’ve been knowing for years by now and we’re also colleagues, so I think I can say that I know you pretty well. You’re a very good guy, but you’re also a hard person to love. You’re scared of being left behind and for that, I suggest you to use this fear of yours to break up with my daughter.»

Dean almost spilled his tea on Jay.

«What?»

«You heard me. You’re gonna hurt her sooner or later, I know what you do. You think you can take advantage of her, just because she’s been in love with you since she was fifteen?» he asked. Dean looked confused: how did he find that out? Did Y/N tell him? «I’m a single father of a girl, Dean. I had to learn a lot of things. I noticed the way he looked at you. Hell, she still looks at you like that!» he exclaimed. Dean felt flattered about that, but he was still scared of what Jay just said. «I want you to break up with her. Just what you usually do, I think you’re pretty good at that by now.»

And that hurt. Jay was like a second father to him, a friend in some way, a role model and now he was just destroying their relationship. It was too much to handle.

«Jay, I know you’re just trying to protect her, but we’re adults now and…»

«She’s only twenty-one, Dean! She doesn’t even know what life is. She had to understand that hard work pays, that’s why she has to go to London. Life’s not a fairy tale.»

«I get it, but why London? I mean, she could look for some job here or…» Dean tried to argue, but Jay’s glance explained it all to him. And it was heartbreaking. «London was her best chance to forget me, wasn’t it? Your plan has always been this: sending her as far away as possible from me. You helped me to get the job at your university so you could make sure that I couldn’t leave it to follow her» he said. His back slipped along the chair, his throat dry. «You never admired me. It was all a lie.»

«No Dean, don’t get me wrong: I’ve always put my faith on you, because I knew that you were capable of doing great things, but you’re not the perfect fit for my daughter. It’s just as simple as that.»

«You came up with a fucking plan to take her away from me and now you’re even playing the martyr here?» Dean shouted, getting up from the seat. «You’re a monster, Jay. You don’t love your daughter, if you don’t let her decide what she wants from life. And for the record, I’ve changed. I’m not that fuckboy anymore. But maybe you were too busy thinking about your stupid plan to realize that» Dean said and then he got out from the house.

He was furious with Jay. He had always put nothing but trust in that man, confessing him every fear, every thought, every memory and now he just betrayed him like that. He wanted to punch a wall so bad, in that moment. But the worst thing he couldn’t believe he was thinking was that despite all of that, Jay knew that he would have done that.

And he knew that too.

He had avoided her for two days. Olivia had already told her that he was back to his old habits, but she didn’t believe it. Dean had grown. He was not the same guy of some years ago, he was trustworthy and reliable now. A lot people just kept seeing him as someone who wasn’t serious just because that was they wanted to see.

Then, he called.

«Y/N?»

«Hey, Dean.»

«Can we meet, please? I have to tell you something.»

She swallowed.

«Yes, of course. Where?»

«At mine’s. Twenty minutes.»

«Okay. Dean, are you alright?»

«See you later, Y/N.»

He was definitely not fine.

Anyway, she got there twenty minutes later. He opened the door, never even glanced at her and made her enter. He looked terrible, like he didn’t sleep at all for two days. He had dark circles under his eyes and he looked very pale. He had some grey sweatpants on and a white t-shirt. It was like turning back time and seeing him when he was studying for the last year of high school. He seemed so lost back then and he seemed so lost now too. It was heartbreaking.

«Dean?»

«Y/N, this could be the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do» he began, running a hand through his hair.

«If that’s because I didn’t say it back, you don’t have to…»

«What?» he asked. He seemed so confused. «No, it’s not that.»

«Then what happened, Dean?» she asked, getting closer to him, but he made a step back.

«Please, don’t. Just… don’t» he said. It was like a weight was expanding in his chest. «Y/N, we have to break up» he said, raising his eyelids to look at her in a way that had always made her heart do a flip. But now, it was just tragically painful.

«What? Why?»

«Because you’re going to London now and I don’t do long-distance relationships.»

She made a noise of disbelief.

«You’re joking, right? Please, tell me that you’re joking. This is so stupid.»

«Look, I’ve been abandonded by my Mom when I was a child and you know that. I just don’t want you to leave me too. And London it’s your best chance for a brighter future.»

«You’re what, Freud, now?» she asked, incredulous. It was all ridiculous.

«Just respect my decision, okay? You’ll find someone better than me, I promise» he said, but he could barely look at her while he was doing that. It costed him an enormous amount of strength to say those words.

She sighed, defeated within her bones.

«So, it was all a lie, uh?» she asked, holding back the tears.

Dean clenched his jaw, shaking his head.

«No, of course not. It was all true and we were real, Y/N. It’s just that we can’t do this anymore.»

«Good, because I don’t want to» he replied, with his best poker face. He really seemed cruel. He had to.

She bit her bottom lip.

«I hope you’re satisfied with this ending. I’m certainly not.»

«Endings are never easy. I’m sorry, kiddo.»

«But that’s the matter, Y/N: we were never friends» he said, trying to hurt her even more.

«Well, fuck you, Dean!» she yelled, angrily.

«I’m sorry, ba… Y/N.»

«Fuck you, Dean» she repeated, then she surpassed him to get to the door, but she stopped halfway through it. She bit her bottom lip, then she turned to look at him, who was confused. «You know what, Dean? Fuck you, because you think I don’t know. I heard you shouting the other day, I can only imagine what my father said to you» she said. Dean’s eyes grew wide at that realization. It hit him right in the ribs. «You’ve always understimated yourself, but I did too. Now I know that we were wrong. I remember when you brought me home one night, after the school’s dance. I looked at your face, half soaked in light and you know, you had these crystal green eyes that made me think about a lighthouse, because it helps ships come back to the shore and I thought... I thought they could bring me back home. You’ve always been my home» she said, with tears in her eyes.

Dean felt a lump in his throat, that maybe him unable to talk.

«Please, don’t do this» he begged her.

«Look Dean, I’ve been in love with you for six years now. I blamed it on the alcohol, but since we’re two adults, let’s be honest here: I wanted to say it to you. I wanted you to know that. I hid that for a long time, I was capable of keep going with it, but I didn’t. But since I’m an adult, I also know that life’s not a fairy tale, so when it seemed that you liked me too, I just took the chance. It could have lasted a day or a year, I just wanted that. You. Us. I wanted all of it. I fell in love with you every fucking day for the past six years and despite your bad behaviour sometimes, I still loved you. Or maybe I did because of that, I don’t know. So please, respect my heart and tell me right now, right now Dean, if you’ve ever felt something for me, because I think you owe me this, at least. It’s alright even if you didn’t, but tell me the truth. I think that after everything we’ve been trough, I deserve it. I’m asking you for just one thing.»

Dean looked like he was about to fall apart. His eyes were glossy and red at the corners.

«Repeat the question, please.»

It reminded her of the night at the pub. She nodded, swallowing.

«Did you feel something for me?»

And then, Dean answered something she couldn’t see it coming in six years.

«I did» he said. And then, with his eyes full of tears, he added: «I do.»

She let slip a sob out of her throat.

«Then why are you doing this? Don’t listen to my father and stay with me» she said, caressing his cheek. Dean closed his eyes, leaning into her touch.

«Because I think you should go to London anyway. It’s your best chance. I dont deserve you. I never did. It was just a pretty good fantasy I wanted to believe in.»

She took a step back. His cheek suddenly seemed too cold.

«This is not about you Dean, it’s about me! It’s about the fact that I want you and trust me, besides the graduation, I’ve never wanted anything so bad in my entire life like I want you right now» she said. That word had always been a very strong word for her and now Dean did too. «You were the love of my life when I was young. You still are» she whispered, right before her voice cracked up.

Dean sighed, defeated into his bones.

«I’m sorry, Y/N. I don’t know what else to say.»

And then, she walked away. Dean closed his eyes, feeling like he couldn’t breathe. He had to let her go. She had to go to London, to go away from there. She wasn’t supposed to stay. He just had to accept that. Her father was right: she deserved the world and he was just stopping her from having it.

But she was right about one thing: he was gonna regret it. For the rest of his life.

***

«Are you ready for London?» Olivia asked on FaceTime, smiling. She shrugged. «Y/N, please, stop thinking about Dean. He just made you waste plenty of time. You’re gonna forget about him, you’ll see.»

«Just be honest, Olivia: you never liked him» she said, annoyed.

Olivia sighed.

«I liked him, Y/N. » she confessed, surprisingly. «That’s why I wanted you to never have something with him. Because I knew that he would have anchored you here and you don’t belong to Lebanon. You have the skills to do anything you want. Don’t make a man or anybody, stop you.»

«You knew he liked me?»

«I knew he was head over heels for you the moment he leaned an eye on you the first time I’ve met him» Olivia said.

She held back the tears.

«Thanks, Olivia.»

«You’re welcome. Now pack your things. Tomorrow’s almost here!»

But is that a good day without Dean by her side?

She had just left. He saw her going to the airport on a Taxi. The last time he had seen her had been awful, but this one? This was way worse. Because he didn’t get to actually see her. He just knew it was her in that car, slipping away from his fingers.

«Dean?» Jay called, on the threshold of the door.

«I’m here to talk to you» Dean said, firmly.

Jay let him in, wondering what he could possibily wanted now. He seemed so sure of himself, like he had never been. Maybe he really grew up, somehow. And he didn’t even notice.

«What do you want from me, Dean?»

«You know, I never really got the chance to thank you, Jay. I mean, you helped me get into college, become a professor, make me a father when John wasn’t there… I’m really grateful for that. And you know, I broke up with your daughter as you asked me to, even if I hated every second of what I did. But didn’t give me a chance to explain myself or maybe I just wouldn’t take it, because I was too busy thinking that I wasn’t enough. I did it for almost all of my life, you know that and you never told me that it was bullshit. You know who did? Your daughter» Dean said. Jay clenched his jaw. «So, since I’ve figured out I’m better than the fuckboy you get to know, thanks to her too, I just want to say to you that I’m in love with her and I would have done anything to make her happy, anything» Dean said, with a lump in his throat. It took him a lot to actually say those words out loud. But he was glad he finally did. «She’s the only one. She’s the one for me, Jay. I love her and even if I’m terrified about this, I want to be with her. I just want to be around her until I can and until she’ll let me to. Please, don’t take this away from me. Please» he begged him.

Jay put a hand on his shoulder, nodding.

«I appreciate your words son, I really do, but I can’t let you stop her. I’m sorry.»

Dean took a step back, disappointed.

«No, you’re not.» Dean said, with disgust in his voice. «You know what? Screw you, Jay. I’m gonna get her back and I’m gonna follow her to London. I won’t spend another day without her. We already lost too many of them.»

And with that, he was already in his Impala to get to her. He arrived at the airport and began to look for her the second he took a foot inside. But since life’s not a fairy tale, when he found her gate, it was already too late.

She was gone.

He got back at his apartment, sighing. He had lost her forever and the worst part of that was that he had done that to himself. He opened the door and felt empty.

«Dean» someone whispered his name in a soft tone.

He turned to look at Y/N behind him, who was getting up from the stairs.

«Y/N? What are you doing here?»

«I didn’t leave. Can I come in, please?»

He nodded.

«Sure.»

She entered.

«A good friend told me that I was capable of doing anything I wanted and I thought that letting my Dad decide about my future was not what I wanted. That’s why I got back» she explained. «But I don’t want you to stop me either. So I’m just here to tell you that I’ll move to Chicago, so I can use my degree properly» she said. Dean lacked of words. «That’s it? I mean, I didn’t think you could say something like I’ll come with you, sweetheart, but maybe…»

«I was at the airport» he finally said.

«What?» she asked, confused.

«Your father didn’t give me the permission to go after you, but I did it anyway. I was ready to go to London with you» he confessed, clenching his jaw.

«Really?»

«Yes» he said and he was about to fall into pieces for saying that. «Chicago sounds alright too. I don’t really care.»

«But your job… and you hate flying!» she exclaimed.

«I’d hate to spend the rest of my life without you, sweetheart» he said, caressing her shoulders with a smile. «Is it a better answer than the one you expected?»

She nodded, a lump in her throat.

«It’s the best answer you could ever give to me» she said, before he kissed her.

#dean winchester imagine #dean winchester ff #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester fanfic #jensmakemecrychallenge #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester #jensen ackles x reader #dean winchester smut #erule's masterlist

54 notes · View notes

laynefaire · 3 years ago

Note

What are the characters in Untamed Hearts up to now do you think?

Weeeeellllllllll --- I know what my plans are (since I have actually started a sequel involving one of the lads).

When we last saw our lads, Louis and Harry were engaged and planning a wedding for the following year after their Uni graduation.

Liam and Zayn are still going strong, and perhaps there's an engagement pending there for the future - but they’re still settling into each other and learning how to be a proper couple.

As for Niall, well --- here's where he is six weeks past the end of Untamed Hearts -

“I’m going to LA.” Niall said, sipping on his beer as he watched Liam’s sister Ruth and her new husband share their first dance. “On Friday.” He said it as a casual aside, his nonchalance a mask for the absolute bricking fear that filled him. It was the first time he’d said it out loud, first time he’d told anyone, and all of the sudden, the concept held way more importance than it had when it had remained unspoken.

“Excuse me, you’re what?”

Zayn swallowed hard to avoid choking on his own drink, staring dumbfounded at Niall. Niall continued watching the dance floor. If pressed he couldn’t even tell you what song was playing, the roaring in his ears drowning out everything else.

Before Niall could reiterate his statement, Liam joined them. Seeing Zayn’s expression, he tangled their fingers together, leaning in to press a kiss to his cheek.

“Everything okay?”

“Niall’s going to Los Angeles.”

“Right. We knew that.” Liam nodded his head. “In June, after graduation.”

“No. Friday.” Zayn corrected him, still staring at Niall for clarification.

“Friday? Since when?” Liam rounded on Niall. “And you’re just telling us this now? Why haven’t Louis or Hazza said anything?”

Niall shrugged. “Because I haven’t told them yet.”

“Told who what?” Louis appeared as if conjured, clapping a hand down on Niall’s shoulder, then immediately turned his attention to Liam. “Harry’s managed to charm Roo into sharing all of her wedding planning secrets, God help me.”

“Niall’s going to LA.” Zayn inclined his head in Niall’s direction, taking another sip of his drink while casually tossing his friend under the proverbial bus. “Friday.”

“You’re doing what?” Louis shouted, his voice exploding over a break in the music. Several heads swiveled to look in their direction, including Liam’s mum who shot them a withering glare. Liam groaned.

“I got your mum. Deal with this.” Zayn murmured. “I’ll find you lot once she’s calmed down.”

“Let’s go.” Liam grabbed Louis and Niall’s arms, turning them away from the inquisitive glances and hustling them toward the large double doors. The music started up again, and everyone’s focus shifted back to the reception. “Lobby. Now. Or so help me God, I will help my mum bodily toss you out on your arse.”

Niall allowed himself to be led away, too busy trying to figure out how to explain things to bother protesting over being manhandled out of the room. The door shut behind them, muting the flowing conversations, tinkling of glassware and cutlery, and Olly Murs inviting the ladies to dance with him tonight.

Louis shook off Liam’s hand, turning to glare at Niall, his normally bright blue eyes icy and his jaw clenched. Niall steeled himself for the shit storm about to rain down on his head.

“Now. Someone - namely, Niall - please explain to me what the fuck is going on.”

Opting for the Irish bravado that had gotten him out of more than one tight spot over the years, Niall stubbornly lifted his chin.

“Explain what? I was offered a chance to work in LA, and I’m taking it.”

“And I’m taking it,” Louis repeated, mocking Niall’s accent and attitude. “Really, mate? Just like that? Were you ever planning to tell us or were we just going to wake up Saturday and you’d have disappeared with none the wiser?”

The sounds of the reception spilled out into the lobby again, Harry sidling out the door, Zayn right behind him.

“Where’s Niall disappearing to?” Harry rushed to where they stood, panic written all over his face. “What the hell is going on? Louis, why were you yelling in the middle of the wedding reception?”

“Blame your pal Niall. Apparently he’s off to sunny California and didn’t think anyone needed to know before he left.”

Harry looked around the circle of friends, confusion clouding his eyes.

“But why? Didn’t you think we’d want to know something like that?” Harry sniffled, and Louis pulled him against his side, glaring at Niall again. “That’s like 5000 miles away. And what about graduation? And mine and Louis’ wedding? You’re supposed to be my best man, along with Zayn.”

Niall would go toe to toe with Louis any day of the week, and had no qualms about hiding shit from him to maintain his own sanity. What he couldn’t handle, though, was doing anything that would upset Harry, and the sight of a single tear slowly rolling down Harry’s cheek proved his undoing.

“It’s not like -” More tears and a broken hiccup. “Damn it! C’mere Haz.” Niall reached for Harry to give him a hug. “I’ll be here for the wedding, Harry. Of course I wouldn’t miss it.” Niall stepped back, holding onto Harry’s arm as he tried to explain. “I need to do this. For me. You and Lou are getting married. Zayn’s in Manchester with Liam. Now that I have all of you sorted, I need to go figure out my own life.”

#FFWF #fan fic writer friday #Untamed Hearts #everywhere #allwaswell16 #running to hide before you kill me . . .

7 notes · View notes

mertronus · 4 years ago

Text

Perfect Courage

This has been in my head ever since I first saw the music video for "Perfect" by Ed Sheeran. So, feeling in an extra fluffy mood tonight, I put the video on a loop, stuck my headphones on, and started to write. And this little beauty came out of it.

Summary: Ron and the crew go on a weekend ski trip...will he finally get the chance and find the courage to tell the girl he loves how he feels? (rated G)

Read it on AO3

****

'Cause we were just kids when we fell in love Not knowing what it was I will not give you up this time

Friday

I stepped off the train and pulled my coat tighter around me. Blimey it was cold. But I guess when you’re in the mountains of Switzerland, it’s to be expected.

I made my way through the station until I stepped out into the village and adjusted my rucksack on my shoulder. Looking up I could just make out the slopes that I guessed I would be hurtling down on a pair of wooden sticks the next day. Who’s idea was this anyway?

Right...Hermione’s.

A smile stretched across my face. Not a surprise that I would do something like this simply because Hermione suggested it. Because Hermione organized it. Because it was Hermione’s parents’ property where we would be staying.

Anything with Hermione’s name on it I would immediately sign up for. I would do anything for her.

I started walking down the street towards the cafe we were meant to all meet, thinking about my best friend. I’ve known her almost all my life, been in love with her since - good God at least since we were thirteen. At least, that’s when I cottoned on to the fact that I couldn’t get enough of being around my nagging, know-it-all, nightmare of a best friend.

And yet, I never made a move, I was too scared, too nervous, feeling too unfanciable or too undeserving...I was convinced she would never go for the likes of me. And, more than all of that, I didn’t want to lose her as a best friend. I was resigned to being her friend for the rest of her life if that meant I got to be in it.

Until she started dating that bloody wanker Cormac McLaggen.

He treated her alright - I would have treated her better - and she seemed happy enough, but I was miserable. I couldn’t do it. For a whole year I watched them and dreaded the moment she would ask me to walk her down the aisle to the tosser.

When she finally ditched him before the fall semester started, I made up my mind. There was no life for me if Hermione wasn’t in it - like really in it. And mine. Otherwise it’s absolute torture. But with us attending different universities, and her in super studious mode during the semester, I never got my chance...until now.

So, yeah, while I hate the very thought of skiing, my attendance on this friends weekend adventure with our lot from school definitely has an ulterior motive. This weekend I would make my move. This weekend I would tell her how I feel. This weekend I would finally, finally, tell Hermione Granger how unbelievably in love with her I am.

I found a love for me Oh darling, just dive right in and follow my lead Well, I found a girl, beautiful and sweet Oh, I never knew you were the someone waiting for me

When I reached the cafe, the first thing I noticed through the window was an adorable head of curly brown hair. She looked amazing sitting there all comfortable in her oversized jumper and hat. The waitress was just handing her a steaming cup - likely tea. More specifically Earl Gray tea with half a sugar and just a bit of milk.

Yes, I know how she takes her tea. Don’t judge. I did say we’ve been best friends since we were kids right? Sod off then.

I took a deep breath and opened the door to step in. Courage of a Lion ...our school motto. Am I a lion or not?

“Ron!” she cried, a huge grin on her face. “You’re early!”

“Well, yeah I - OOF!” I caught her mid lunge and wrapped my arms around her waist. My nose involuntarily dipped into her curls and I breathed her in. Her familiar scent warmed me immediately and I knew my ears were likely bright red. She pulled back and looked at me expectantly. Oh, yeah...what was I saying to her? Right...early...I’m early.

“Caught the earlier train so I wouldn’t be late,” I finally explained.

“Well, I’m glad,” she grinned and reached up to ruffle my hair. I fought the urge to close my eyes at the feeling of her fingers running through my locks. “Been so long since we’ve had time together - the two of us.” When I looked into her eyes, I could have sworn I caught a glimpse of something...longing? Love? Blimey I hope so.

She led me over to the table and plopped me down as she began talking a mile a minute. Most of us were starting our final semester at uni in a couple of weeks, but Hermione of course beat us all to the finish line, having graduated a semester early...with honors thank you very much. Did I mention how bloody brilliant she is?

I gazed at her as she filled me in on all I’ve missed recently in her life - the last exams she took, the jobs she’s going for, visiting her parents over the holidays…

“But oh, listen to me drone on and on, what about you Ron? How was your season? Your semester?”

I snapped myself out of my daze and tried to collect my thoughts as best as I could. I told her a bit about how things were going with football, how I scraped by as usual with my usual mediocre grades and recapped my own holidays. Suddenly it hit me that this was likely the only time this weekend we would be alone. If I wanted to talk to her, now was the time.

Now or never. Courage of a Lion.

“I’ve uh...I’ve been thinking a lot too, Mione,” I said softly.

“Don’t think too hard, Ron,” she teased as she took a sip of her tea.

“Yeah har-dee-har-har,” I shook my head but grinned at her. For a moment I forgot what I was saying altogether as the sun made some of her curls look golden dancing around her head. It always caught me off guard how beautiful she is. How much I love her.

Right...focus Weasley. Just say it... ‘Hermione Granger, I love you’...

“Hermione, I..I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about -”

“Harry!”

“No, not of...what?” She jumped up and ran off to throw her arms around our other best friend...the one who always seemed to have the most impeccable timing.

“Hi Hermione,” he said with a grin. He released her and patted my shoulder. “How’re you Ron?”

I stood and smiled, pulling him into a hug. I was really happy to see him, even if I wished he waited another ten minutes or so. “Good, happy to see you mate.”

Behind Harry, Hermione was happily greeting my sister Ginny - who was dating my git of a best mate - and our friend Neville. It wasn’t long before Dean and Seamus came bustling into the little cafe to join us.

“We’re all here!” Hermione exclaimed. “Shall we head up to the cabin?”

It wasn’t long before all of our bodies and bags were piled into a van that Hermione rented for the weekend to get us around. Not a fan of driving the slick roads of the mountains, she asked me to drive. I was a bit disappointed when Neville happily called bagsy and jumped in the passenger seat beside me. I was really hoping to have Hermione beside me for the almost thirty minute drive up the mountain. Instead, I watched as Hermione wound up squeezed in between Dean and Seamus way in the back since Harry and Ginny took the middle two seater.

Gits. All of them were gits.

We drove up the mountain and I tried to keep my focus solely on the road, but it was hard when I kept wanting to glance back in the rearview mirror to catch a particular pair of brown eyes. I caught her eyes a couple of times and she smiled at me...it was as if the smile was only for me.

I really had to focus on the road.

“Ooh I love this song!” Ginny suddenly lunged forward to turn up the radio as Ed Sheeran’s “Sing” was starting up.

“ I don't wanna know If you're getting ahead of the programme…”

I glanced back and laughed at the sight of my friends singing at the top of their lungs.

“I want you to be mine, lady And to hold your body close Take another step into the no-man's land For the longest time, lady…”

I watched Hermione laughing with Dean as they sang and felt a pang of jealousy...until she looked up and caught my eye again and winked. I blushed and looked at the road but when I glanced back up, she was still singing and watching me. A chill ran through my body although the van’s heat was blasting.

We decided to stay in that night and get an early start the next morning. Hermione’s parents had the caretakers stock the fridge and pantry, so the seven of us had a good time pulling out random ingredients and making a hodge-podge of food - paired with the excessive amounts of liquor Seamus procured for us of course.

Everyone started to drop off one by one, and I tried to hang on so I could maybe get a few moments alone with Hermione again, but the last thing I remembered seeing was the girl of my dreams curled up on the armchair before I dozed off myself.

Saturday

Ski lifts are bloody scary!!! It’s bad enough you have all this gear on with your coats and snow pants and boot, then you’re also clipped to these long wooden sodding sticks that are weighing you down, all while sitting precariously on a bench that’s flying through the air.

Who’s idea is this of fun!?!?

“Having fun Ron?” Her arm wrapped around mine and she pulled herself in close as we rode the lift up to the top of the slopes.

I smiled but I’m pretty sure a wince was seen too. “Bit nervous honestly.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t let you fall…” I pulled her in close and nuzzled my nose in her hair. “Not too much anyway.”

Okay, I’ll admit it: skiing is kind of fun. Or rather, skiing with Hermione is fun.

We spent the entire day on the slopes, stopping for an early lunch and mid-afternoon to warm up. Hermione spent most of the day teaching me the ropes and I spent most of the day falling on my arse. Even Neville showed me up - him, Dean and Seamus speeding passed us repeatedly on snowboards.

We finally called it a night and headed into the inn for dinner and drinks. We were a few shots in when someone got the great idea to start up karaoke. I hid myself in the back as much as my tall frame with flaming red hair would allow, but quite enjoyed watching Hermione and Ginny’s rendition of “Lady Marmalade.”

As I sat there watching her laughing and carrying on with my little sister, my mind wandered to many more nights like this...double dates with Harry and Ginny, playdates with all of our kids, family events where Hermione feels really comfortable letting her hair down because she knows she’s with people who love her and have her back.

Well I found a woman, stronger than anyone I know She shares my dreams, I hope that someday I'll share her home I found a love, to carry more than just my secrets To carry love, to carry children of our own

“Hey,” a voice called out to me. I looked up to see Hermione leaning over me. I was so lost in my thoughts, I didn’t even realize that her and Ginny were finished and Dean had taken the stage with Neville and Harry. “Come with me?”

I’ll go anywhere with you. “Yeah...uh sure. Where we going?” I stood and pulled on my coat. It honestly didn’t matter where we were going...as long as it was just the two of us.”

“You’ll see!” She threw her own coat around her and spun around with a laugh as she head out the door. I laughed too because I loved it when she let loose and had a few drinks. She spent so much of her time fussing over books and school and all of the boring adult things that bogged down our lives. Seeing her like this - now spinning in the falling snow trying to catch flakes with her tongue - this is the Hermione I love most. I love all sides of Hermione Granger, but this side...this side is the most beautiful side.

I threw my head back to catch snow on my tongue too, making faces and noises to get her really laughing. I dropped my head to look for her when I felt a distinct splat on my back.

“Oh it’s a snowball fight you want is it?” I called as she ran off towards the road that led up to our cabin. I stooped over and gathered a massive snowball as I commenced chase, her squealing as she ran ahead of me. I aimed and caught her right in her bum.

“Ronald!” She yelled with a laugh. “I’ll get you for that!” She ran toward me with a handful of snow and jumped on my back to stuff it down my back - a favorite torture method of ours when we were kids.

Her laughter echoed in my ears with her so close. I grabbed onto her legs and spun her around on my back to keep her there. “Roooooon!” she yelled. “I’m getting dizzy!” We both toppled into a mound of snow in a fit of giggles. I slid over so I wouldn’t crush her and we lay in the snow in a fit of tipsy hysterics. I looked over to see she had slid away from me in the snow, and was reaching the tips of her fingers to mine smiling. Suddenly she started to giggle again and waving her arms in the snow while moving her legs. I followed suit and after a bit we helped each other up to admire our snow angels.

She hugged my arm and leaned in close. “I want to show you something.”

I took off after her towards our cabin. It was obvious the others weren’t back yet and I thought this could be my chance. Get her in the cabin and get a few minutes alone before the others decided to walk back.

But she ran passed the cabin into the woods behind it.

“Hermione! Where are you going?!”

“Come on!”

We ended up running right into a smaller cabin hidden just a few yards away from the main cabin where we all were staying.

“What’s this?” I asked when we stopped.

“Come on,” she said again, pulling me inside. It was a cozy little one room cabin, a tiny kitchenette in one corner, and a couch and a few chairs around a rug with a stone fireplace. There were stairs leading up to a loft where I could just see a low bed with blankets and pillows just waiting to be crawled into.

“It was an old shed that the caretakers renovated into a separate guest house when there were a lot of people staying in the cabin,” Hermione explained. “When we used to come with the rest of my family, my grandparents stayed out here, to get away from the noise of their kids and grandkids in the cabin.”

“It’s cozy,” I said quietly, looking around. “And quiet.” I caught her eye and smiled. “Hiding out here tonight?”

She blushed but shrugged nonchalantly. “We can...if you want.”

“If you want.”

As if she couldn’t surprise me anymore, she pulled out a small bag with a change of clothes - for both of us.

“Hey! I’ve been looking for this Oxford United shirt! You’ve had it all this time?”

“Remember after Ginny’s birthday party a couple years ago? I was supposed to go home but it was pouring rain and your mum pretty much forbade me to leave.”

I nodded and smiled. “And you came to steal pajamas from me. My Oxford United shirt and,” I pulled a pair of navy blue flannel pajama bottoms out of the bag, “and these.”

She shrugged. “I wore them home and I guess I kept forgetting to give them back. Figured we’d need something to change into - which I’m glad I thought of it since we were literally rolling in the snow!”

We each took opposite corners of the room and turned to give the other privacy to change. As I was changing, I caught sight of something behind the couch. I pulled out a pretty pristine acoustic guitar when I felt Hermione come up behind me.

“My Grandad’s,” she breathed. “He must have left it here.” I sat on the arm of the couch and set it across me, plucking a few strings.

“Bit out of tune but…” I started twisting and tuning the guitar to my liking.

Hermione smiled as she sat in front of me. “I forget you used to play.”

“Still do, sometimes,” I said softly. “I just fiddle around mostly, nothing crazy. I’m no Ed Sheeran or nothin,” I chuckled.

“No,” she sighed. “You’re definitely cuter.” Our eyes locked and I tried to form the words but it was as if I was frozen - trapped in her gaze as I fell mercilessly farther and farther in love with her. “Tea,” she breathed out.

“Huh? What?”

“Tea,” she stood. “I’ll make us both a cup. Two sugars and a bit of cream?”

I smiled and nodded. “Perfect.”

As she kept herself busy in the tiny corner kitchenette, I suddenly had a moment of inspiration and started playing a song I knew, thrilled that I remembered it.

Courage like a Lion, Weasley.

“That sounds familiar,” she said as she set my cup on the small table besides me and sat back in her spot.

“Yeah,” I whispered. She sipped her tea and watched me, her eyes bright and round and locked onto mine. I cleared my throat and started to sing softly.

“We are still kids, but we're so in love Fighting against all odds I know we'll be alright this time Darling, just hold my hand Be my girl, I'll be your man I see my future in your eyes”

Tears started to form in her eyes as she stilled and watched me intently. I knew my voice was likely rubbish, but I didn’t care. When she looked at me that way, I felt as if I could do anything.

“Baby, I'm dancing in the dark, with you between my arms Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song I have faith in what I see Now I know I have met an angel in person And she looks perfect I don't deserve this You look perfect tonight”

When I stopped playing, she set her cup down and wiped the tears from her cheeks. “Ron,” she started.

I pushed the guitar aside and slid down off the arm of the couch to sit beside her. My hands cupped her face and her fingers wrapped around my wrists. “Ron,” she said again, this time as if she was pleading with me. I answered her by pulling her face to mine and brushing my lips against hers softly.

I pulled back the tiniest bit and looked at her. “This okay?”

“More than,” she breathed out. At that I captured her lips with mine and vowed to never let her go.

I was lost. Completely and utterly gone. Her lips were as soft as I imagined they’d be and more. They were gentle and yet persistent, shy and yet demanding. I marveled at how she could always be so many things at once.

When we pulled apart, I noticed she was crying again. “You alright Hermione?”

She let out a slow breath and smiled. “Never better.”

“Good, because I believe I made you an offer.”

“And...what offer was th-that?”

“Be my girl, I’ll be your man,” I rubbed my nose against hers. “Cause I most definitely see my future in your eyes.” She giggled and nodded. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

But darling, just kiss me slow, your heart is all I own And in your eyes, you're holding mine Baby, I'm dancing in the dark with you between my arms Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favourite song When you said you looked a mess, I whispered underneath my breath But you heard it, darling, you look perfect tonight

#romione #romione fluff

19 notes · View notes

cherry-gemz · 4 years ago

Text

Summary: Harper Kelly is an American college senior studying abroad. Looking for adventure and fighting against the clock of graduating, she finds herself meeting a mysterious and handsome boy from London.

Pairing: Henry Cavill x OFC

Rating: PG-13, language

Word Count: <800

A/N: When writing this a/u, I originally had Will in mind, but then also Mikey. Eventually it morphed into Henry, but if he went to Uni and was never famous. So all three personalities I guess lol. We'll see how this goes.

Tags: @romereadingshop

**************************************

Prologue

Spring Break, the week before it really. That’s when it all started. Or ended. I can’t tell which it is it these days. Living the semester abroad in the UK was entirely a different mindset. Besides just trying to understand the pub menu’s, the slang (what exactly is a bollock), adjusting to the metric system was a mindfuck.

Being at Uni was all it hyped up to be. I low key wanted to be the mysterious American girl that the local boys would love to get to know. I soon realized my American citizenship wasn’t a personality, and had to think quick on my feet who I was at 22. I guess that’s why I wanted to go abroad my last year of college: It also was a way to run from adult responsibilities and my parents who wanted to know if I’d ever grow up.

Being the younger sister to the cookie cutter, amazing and perfect on paper Brynn Kelly, was hard to live up to. I fell flat with disappointment with everything that I tried. Brynn was beautiful: from her honey, brown eyes to her cute little toes. Boys, no men loved her. And she was wicked smart, too. Like ridiculously smart that she got a full ride to Davis and I went the state way, to East Bay. I was lucky to even get in - it was my safety school and I changed my major three times until finally landing on History.

My parents thought that major was a joke in itself. What are you going to do with a History degree, Harper? My dad would ask, quite knowing the answer. Nothing. I can’t teach, I have no qualifications to curate. That’s why I’m blowing off steam in London until I have to graduate to figure things out.

Don't get me wrong, I don't find myself unfortunate looking. I actually think I'm quite attractive when I put in the effort. I just have a hard time trusting people and even little less faith that there are unselfish motives underneath it all.

My flatmate Megan is a glass half full kind of girl. Megan is a lot like Brynn in ways that men flock to her. They must read off her positive energy and bubbly persona. Plus it doesn't hurt that she's a total babe. She has the most amazing auburn, long hair. It’s gorgeous; even I want to touch it. Her cafè complexion is to die for. She won the jackpot on diversity of genes: she says her father is part Latin with her mother’s side being Egyptian. I dunno where the hair color comes from, but it’s a magnet to free drinks and dinner that's for sure. The men in London love her accent since she was born in Madrid, she’s the mysterious one, not the American who calls football, soccer.

The night I met Henry was not a night I was to be out. I had to study for an exam the next day for European History 4c. I will tell you I was not ready, so when Megan coerced me to go to a party at some flat of a guy she knew from English, I shouldn't have gone. Plus I was still dating Andrew back home.

Andrew and I had been dating for over eight months before I had decided to study abroad. He was the type that hadn't realized how cute he was, but very flirty when he wanted to be. He had asked me out a few times before I finally said yes. It wasn't like he had pressured me or made me uncomfortable, I just didn't really see him like that. We were friends from a mutual class Freshman year and then it turned into something more. I had lost my virginity to him and we had talked about moving in together for the last semester. That was until I decided at a spur of a moment to apply for the abroad program.

He was obviously upset at my decision, he had every right to be. But something was begging me to try something else, to see something new. And I figured, before I settled down with Andrew (who I indeed did love), I owed it to myself to find out. We said we'd try long distance, and so far it's been working. We'd facetime each other at odd ends of the night, send naughty sexts during class, and he said he'd try to make it out for Spring Break.

But it was that fateful night that I had decided to forgo my studies the week before Spring Break and frolic in mischief with Megan, and found myself meeting the most intriguing, painstakingly handsome London Boy.

#henry cavill #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill x ofc #henry cavill au #college #university #college au #london boy

19 notes · View notes

chocolatemillkk · 4 years ago

Text

Party (JS)

I put the final bottle of champagne behind the mini bar and adjust the cocktail bowl slightly to the left. I look around the living room, the grand Christmas tree was still up as it usually was until after New Year’s. The whole place was covered in string lights, outlining the furniture and hanging from the ceiling. This was the famous New Year’s Eve party my parents have been throwing since before I was even born and this year was the last one I’d be attending for a while, I realise sadly. This time next year I would be living in LA, in my first year of university and my parents planned to come down for Christmas and be back here for New Year’s. I wouldn’t come along. I always looked forward to this, guess I’d have to savour it the best I could.

Both my mom and dad were only children which meant growing up they made a lot of friends along the way and each year our parties got a little bit bigger, more and more families coming together for their New Year’s eve party. I always looked forward to two though, the Michaels and the Suggs.

“Are you done daydreaming?” My sister comes up from behind me. “Because there should be appetizers that need rearranging or something according to mom.”

“I’m on it,” I say mock-seriously. My mom really went all out with the food and my sister and I always teased her about it. My sister, Liz, had started uni this year but luckily she was only in London. A lot of our friends her age weren’t though, so we were missing a lot of people this year. But at least Joe would be around, I think. And Zoe.

“Put these near the piano,” my mom hands me a plate as I make my way to the kitchen. “Don’t drop them!” I pretend to struggle under the tray which earns me a stern look. “You should get ready,” my mom reminds me. “There’s only an hour before guests start coming!”

I run up to my room after gently placing the tray where my mom wanted it and put on the dress I had bought for the occasion. It was deep green satin with a plunging neckline and a leg slit that went up to my hips—a shorter skirt lay underneath so I wasn’t flashing the whole party. I usually wasn’t this risky but I figured the occasion called for it. The sleeves are almost bell-like, and I do a twirl before the mirror, excited to see how people liked it.

Who was I kidding, I wanted Joe to see me in it.

It was silly, there was half a year before I was leaving this place, but more than half my life that I’d been crushing on Joe Sugg. Sometimes, I thought he knew how I felt, I thought I was quite obvious as a kid. For a second, I thought maybe the feeling was mutual. But after truth or dare in the seventh grade, I’d tried my hardest to hide whatever feelings I had for him. I wondered if he’d noticed.

“Truth or Dare,” Olivia asks my sister, Olivia Michaels was our neighbour growing up and the one who introduced my sister and I to the world of beer and rock and roll. My sister and I were good friends with her and her younger brother Felix.

My sister choses dare and Olivia has her eat one of the gross drink concoctions we made earlier. A few rounds later, my sisters asks me.

“Dare,” I say, feeling brave.

“I dare you to kiss either Joe or Felix,” my sister says smugly.

“What? I-“

“It’s a dare!” Zoe laughs and I look at Felix, he was a couple years younger than me-he was a child...and Joe was my huge crush. There was no way I was going to have my first kiss with him like this; with popcorn in my teeth and my lips stained with popsicles.

“Unless you’d like to kiss them both,” my sister teases.

Not wanting any more pressure, I lean over and peck Felix on the lips. I can’t help but sneak a glance at Joe as I go back to my seat and everyone laughs at Felix’s flushing cheeks. But he looks uninterested.

A few rounds later, Felix asks Joe and Joe picks Truth.

“Who would you date from this circle?” Felix asks. My heart plummets into my stomach. Joe looks around, avoiding my eyes and that makes my heart race faster. He had to know how much I would die to date him. To call him anything more than my best friend.

“Liz,” Joe says my sister’s name and I felt sick. Of course he liked her better than me, she was smarter and prettier than me. I was just his best friend.

“Aw you’re cute,” my sister pinches Joe’s cheeks and his sister joins in. I excuse myself but I didn’t think anyone even noticed.

A knock at my door reminds me there was a party about to go down, or already going down, I realise as I hear voices already. “How long are you going to take? Mom wants you downstairs to greet everyone!” Liz calls through the door.

“I’ll be a minute!” I say. I take my new christmas present-an eyeshadow kit my mom had given, and the lipstick my sister gave after I used most of hers, and put on my makeup, feeling like a grown up already. So much was changing and I was buzzing with excitement.

I skip downstairs and greet everyone the way I usually did every year. This year everyone asks about school, I tell them my LA plan and they wish me luck. Over and over. Until Joe walks in with a bottle of something in his hand and I run to him, nearly knocking him down as I throw my arms around him. He smelled like the cologne he reserved for special occasions, and the soap he always used. I could never tire of it, of him.

He was as handsome as ever, a clean white button up tucked into black trousers. He’d cut his hair recently but I sort of liked the way he styled it, the soft layers looked bouncy.

“You look handsome! Where’s Zoe?” I ask.

“Food poisoning,” he hands me the bottle and I take it from him, stepping a bit back so he could see my outfit but he continues on without comment. “Mum’s stayed home with her, the bottle’s from her.”

“Duh, as if you could afford this,” I tease, pretending like my heart wasn’t just stabbed by his nonchalance. He follows me in as I sneak the bottle past my mom and hide it in the kitchen, it was a tradition for us kids to get drunk on our own stash we steal throughout the night.

“Where’s everyone else?” Joe asks. “Your sister?”

I ignore the ache I get in my chest, “Oh doing her rounds probably. Pretending she’s an intellectual because she’s done one semester at uni.”

Joe laughs and I love the sound, especially when he laughs at a joke I make.

“You-“

“Y/N! There you are!” Felix and Olivia pop in, interrupting Joe, and I give them both hugs. Olivia had brought her boyfriend this year so we get introductions and a quick catch-up before Olivia goes to find Liz and I’m left with Felix and Joe. Felix had grown to be surprisingly handsome, in a nerd chic sort of way. If it wasn’t for the fact that he was younger than me, I could have even considered dating him.

“So Y/N you look really amazing tonight,” Felix says.

“Aw thank you,” I say. “You look quite chic tonight too, is that suspenders you’re wearing under your jacket?” I tease Felix until he’s pink in the face before I turn to Joe who looks bored. I loop my arm through his, “Want to get something to eat? I’m craving some shortbread cookies.”

“Yeah. If we’re having our own party later on we don’t want a repeat of ‘09,” Joe jokes. That was the first year we had all snuck a bottle of wine from the party and drank it on an empty stomach. None of us had a good time.

“Don’t remind me,” I shudder before I call behind me. “Felix you coming?”

Joe stiffens beside me but we walk on.

•••

After a dozen devilled eggs and shrimp cocktails, I lose everyone to the crowd and find myself alone near the stairs. I watch the crowd and bask in the togetherness the holidays brought on, I would miss this a lot. I almost didn’t want to go when I was in moments like these, but I knew what I wanted from life and I knew I couldn’t stay in dreary UK for it.

As I look around with the room so full of lights, the corners of my vision suddenly warp and distort into a blurry mass. I blink a few times but it remains. This was so not happening.

I sit myself on the step and close my eyes, placing my head on my knees but as I do that, the nause creeps in. This was getting serious. Perfect.

I go up to my bedroom quickly and close the blinds, shutting the room in darkness. I unzip the side of my dress to give my room to breathe and lay down.

Of course I had to get a migraine the day of new year’s eve. My last party for a while. I groan and turn to the side, blindly groping for any pill bottle, not wanting to risk turning on my phone light.

I lay in the dark, I don’t know how long. Time passed slowly in the dark, the only thing I could hear is the muffled sound of the party downstairs. My phone vibrates a few times but I don’t dare look at it. I wanted to nip this migraine before it could come full force. I couldn’t believe this was how my year was going to end, I think. And without meaning to, the tears leak out from my eyes. Stupid migraines and stupid Joe Sugg! He hadn’t even noticed what I was wearing, he didn’t even care. He fancied Liz more than I and I was still crushing on him like an idiot. I wasted my high school years waiting for him. And now I was going to graduate soon, with no history of a relationship and no...

A soft knock interrupts my pity party. I wait again as the knock sounds, just to make sure I wasn’t hearing it.

“Y/N,” it was Joe.

I swipe at my face, pulling my blanket over my face. “I’m here,” I say. “You can come in.”

I hear the door creak open, the noise from downstairs flooding through before the closed door muffles it again.

“Migraine?” Joe asks. We’d been friends long enough that he knew exactly what was going down. I sense him standing at the edge of my bed, the room still in darkness.

“Yeah,” I inch the blanket off my face. It’s not like he could see my makeup streaks in the dark. “Great timing right?”

“Can I do anything?” Joe asks. God, I scoff, I thought I could just turn my feelings off for him but him just asking that brings them back full force. “Maybe some water...”

“I’ve got water,” I say. I sense him shifting around the room.

“Didn’t you used to have those ice packs?” Joe knows his way around my room, he often came over when we did homework, or in the summer before we would go out with our other friends. He locates where I kept the freeze packs and he cracks them, walking towards my bed and sitting on my sheets. “Here.”

He places one on my neck and I flinch at the cold.

“Sorry,” he mumbles before putting it back on.

“It’s okay,” I whisper, the cold already numbing the throbbing in my neck. “Thanks Joe.”

“It’s nothing,” Joe whispers back. I take the pack from where his hands hold it and hold it myself as I gently turn in bed, the little light streaming in outlines his sitting figure.

“You don’t have to stay here,” I let him know. “Go back to the party.”

“It’s no fun if you’re not there,” Joe says. He slowly inches himself down beside me and the smell of him invades my nose. Oh no.

“Joe your cologne-“ I say and he quickly gets up.

“Oh shit right,” Joe stands and I see the shape of him pace away from the bed. “Uh, I can go home and change-“

“Oh my god,” I let out a laugh and cut it short as my head throbs. “You’ve left so many shirts here when we go swimming in the summer. Just put one on if you want to stay here so bad.”

“I’m just here to avoid everyone asking what my plans after school are,” he jokes. “Are they in the bottom drawer?”

“Yeah,” I respond. “Tell them you’re still figuring it out.”

“Everyone here has kids who are doctors or some shit,” I can hear the Joe changing and I try to keep the inappropriate thoughts at bay. “That’s not an acceptable answer.”

“Who cares what they think though,” I say. Joe joins me back in bed, laying down to stare at the ceiling as I look at his profile, barely illuminated by the light peaking through my blinds.

“Sometimes I do,” he says quietly.

I find his hand and squeeze it. He squeezes back and then turns to me. “So are you going to tell me why you were crying before I came in?”

“I was not crying,” I lie.

“You so were.”

“Was not.”

“Was too,” fingers graze my jaw and I’m busted. “Your face is still wet.”

“Fine,” I sigh. “I was just upset I was missing the party.”

“And?”

“I dunno, it’s my last party for a while!”

“Oh yeah,” Joe quiets down. A moment passes. Then another. “I’m gonna miss you.”

“We still have like 7 months together, don’t cry for me just yet.”

“You’re the one that was crying,” Joe shoots back.

“Shut up!” I joke. “Can’t you let me win? I have a migraine!”

“How is it?” Concern creeps back into his voice.

“The usual, I just have to tone down my senses. It’ll get better.”

Joe’s hand moves up to my face and cups it, my heart fluttering, the blood rushing to my face and joining the dance my migraine was putting on in my head.

His hand creeps up into my hair and suddenly his hand is plucking out the pins from my hair, and putting it on my bedside. Of course he was just being helpful while I was getting all bothered. “Do you want to get into something more comfortable?” He asks. I try to ignore the way I felt with his body hovering over mine in the dark but my mind blanks for a moment. “Y/N?”

“Oh I have every intention to go back to the party later,” I say. “This dress stays on.”

“It��s a great dress,” Joe says.

“It is isn’t it,” I say, noticing how uncomfortable Joe was getting. He actually noticed. Why didn’t he say anything earlier?

“I mean,” he clears his throat. “You looked...beautiful.”

I pause, pure joy rushing through me. Joe noticed me, he said I was beautiful. And oh god, all these things happening in my body were not helping my migraine. But I wasn’t about to tell Joe that.

“Thank you,” I say softly, too afraid to break the moment.

“It’s nothing new though,” he says just as softly. “You always look beautiful.”

I look at him, squint in the dark to try to read his face but it’s hard to. Was he saying this because I was having a shitty time or did he actually mean it?

“Not as beautiful as Liz though,” I deflect, deciding he was just taking pity on me. “She’s the one with the looks in the family.”

There’s a deafening silence around us, I can hear my heart beating in it. He wasn’t denying it, I want to cry.

“She is...beautiful sure, but you’re something different Y/N. You bloody take my breath away every time I see you.”

I want to cry for other reasons now. Was this really happening?

“Sorry,” Joe interprets my silence as rejection and begins sitting up to go. “The dark’s just made me stupid, I said way too much and-

“Joe,” I try to cut through.

“You obviously just, you need to rest and I’m-“

“Joe Sugg,” I say again and grab his hand. “Lay back down you big idiot, your blabbering is making my head pulse.”

“Right,” Joe lays back down but I can hear his quick breathing. I was glad to know he was just as nervous. I still have hold of his hand and I place it around my waist, inching closer to him.

“When?” I have to ask.

“Do you remember when we had our second friendiversary?” He asks. I did. We met when we were both 7 after our parents had set up a play date and we got along so well we knew we would be friends instantly. We’d spit on our hands and shaken them, declaring that day our friend anniversary, and we’d celebrated most years since. “You had your parents drop you off on your way home from your nana’s because it was our friendiversary and we didn’t see each other all summer. And your nana gave you cookies for the ride home, and you saved me the peanut butter ones? I don’t know, when you came in that day I just took a look at you and I had butterflies in my stomach. You were there ever since school let out and I’d missed playing with you for so long. I think I realised I missed you more than just a friend that summer. And when I saw you-“

“I actually remember.” I join. “Because you had just stared at me with your mouth open. And I just put the cookies in your open mouth. I was angry I thought you were looking at me like that because Liz had put gum in my hair a week before and my nana had to cut a lot off.”

“Yeah,” Joe chuckles. “I remember that too.”

“And since then?”

“Yeah,” Joe’s hand curls around my waist.

“What about the seventh grade? Truth or dare?”

“You bloody kissed Felix!” Joe exclaims.

“I...you picked my sister because I kissed Felix? He was like 10!”

“I was stupid.”

“Was? If I was feeling better I would be slapping you right now.”

“Good thing you’re not,” Joe tugs me closer. Our faces are inches apart, and I want to lean over and just kiss him so bad.

“What’s taken you so long,” I whisper, my fingers resting on his face.

“Scared I would ruin our friendship. You’re so much better than me, I thought you would laugh if I told you.”

“You are so ridic-“

“Shh,” Joe shushes me. “Do you hear that?”

I quiet down and listen as the party downstairs begins counting down to New Year’s. Suddenly my hands are clammy, this was it. I was going to kiss Joe Sugg once and for all.

“5...4...3...” Joe whispers between us.

“2...” I get out before Joe closes the space and kisses me, his lips so soft, my head feeling like it would explode. And not just because of the migraine.

“Wow-“ Joe gets out before I go in for a second kiss, the cheering downstairs drowns out as I pull Joe closer to me, closer, finally the love of my life was in my arms.

We’re moving too quickly, a wave of nausea hits me and I pull away.

“Sorry was that too quick?” Joe panics.

“Head,” I say as I squeeze my eyes shut.

“Shit,” I feel him sitting up and hovering over me, probably looking for the ice pack because soon the cold feeling returns to my temples.

“Thank you,” I whisper. He places a kiss on my lips as I stay still, trying to ease my nause. I feel a kiss on my jaw, then my neck. “Do you have to go home?” I ask.

“Nope,” Joe shifts beside me, I feel him get under the blanket, and he pulls me close to him. He lays his hand gently over me and I settle in beside him. What a New Year’s.

•••

“Y/N!” My sister’s voice wakes me and my eyes fly open. She stands in my doorway with her jaw open and I realise she’s staring at the weight on my right side. Joe.

“What?” Joe mumbles, awakened by my sister barging in.

“Oh my god!” My sister squeals. “It’s happening!” She runs out my door. “It’s happening!” She yells out to whoever was awake. And if they weren’t awake, her commotion sure woke them.

“She’s crazy,” I mumble before turning to Joe, the evening rushing to catch me up. He’s still only half asleep. When I call his name, he only groans and pulls me closer to him, hiding his face into my neck. My heart flutters, it felt like we’d always been together like this.

I allow myself the small pleasure of running my hands up into his hair and he groans into my neck, lifting his face up to look at me. Suddenly he starts laughing.

“Way to make a girl feel confident,” I’m suddenly self conscious as I get up.

“You do realise you’re in yesterday’s outfit? Including your makeup?” Joe asks, his voice hoarse.

“Shit!” I run to my mirror and laugh at what I see. “I’ll be back!”

I grab a spare shirt and move to the bathroom where I clean up and brush my teeth. My skin looked awful having slept in makeup but the glow I felt from waking up next to Joe kills any issue I might have had with it.

When I get back to my room he’s already up, the bed is made, and he’s folding his clothes from yesterday.

“You didn’t have to do all that,” I say as I walk to him. Immediately he catches my hand and pulls me in.

“Your head?” He asks.

“Great. Yours?”

“Clear as day. Glad it listened to my heart this one time.”

A smile creeps onto my face as the realisation of what he said settles in but pulls me in and kisses it off.

“Happy new year Joe,” I whisper when we part, pulling him in for a tight hug.

“Happy new year Y/N,” Joe whispers back. “I think it’s going to be the best one yet.”

#joe sugg #thatcherjoe #joe sugg imagines #joe sugg imagine #buttercream imagines #buttercreams #youtube imagines #jack maynard #caspar lee #fic #new year imagine #qd

21 notes · View notes