#i thought scholarships would be easier honestly lmaoo how fuckingn dumb of me
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#i feel like i cant post this anywhere else n i just feel so UGHHH so here we go !!#this month ive felt like absolute shit bc i see ppl from my hs class graduating college and its just a constant reminder that im no where#near to graduating college and im so behind??? like i hate myself and feel embarrassed for my family#i know i shouldnt focus on everyone else but its so hard#i took a break from school to work more n save up money for transferring to a uni bc its so expensive#my parents hav told me they would help me but i just cant. i know they have other payments to worry about and id feel so guilty#they dont even know i took a break LMAO i told them i was doing online bc im so scared#my sisters and my parents are expecting these great things from me but i feel so useless im not in school i havent saved up as much as i#thought i would and im terrified of august coming bc i kow my parents are gonna ask what im doing for school#i thought scholarships would be easier honestly lmaoo how fuckingn dumb of me#why is school expensive i hate this even the cheapest uni here is still so much#i have this constant weight in my chest and it makes me feel so suffocted constantly#i have no clue what im doing#im just so anxious all the time im always worrying about school lol i feel like ive been feelinh this for the pst two years#i shouldve taken a break after graduating hs instead of this year#it doesnt help that coworkers and other family ask hows my school stuff going and when im finishing#my sisters tell me ‘we all want you to graduate from a uni and find a good job .. dont end up like us’ and i feel so guilty#they always find someway to tell me that and i always laugh it off and say okay#wow .... i feel so bfjdbdjdjddi#like i want to say more but i just dont know#im not working rn so it makes rhings a lil worse bc i dont kno if i should extend my break or just say fuck it get loans and go to this uni#ive wanted to avoid student loans but godddd im slowly convicing myself that ill probably need to suck it up and just get them#fafsa doesnt even cover as much as i thought it would#when my bf told me he went thru 24k in one year??? like what the fuck#he had a scholarship but it still wasnt enough so im just like what the fuck dude#whu the fuck is school so expensive i hate this so much#and here i was thinking that selling my bts albums would help 💀💀💀💀💀💀
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