#my sister who is introverted was a school bully and outgoing

[pumpumdemsugah]

Some people act like being an introvert is a disability that needs accommodation. Introversion isn't even uncommon. It's half the pop.

If you're socially struggling that much, learn social skills and how to open your mouth. You're not 5. If I see one my twee comic about being so special and drained, you're getting beaten with a belt.

[yan-bts]

The parted twins (pjm X reader)

👁‍🗨Part-1👁‍🗨

Warning ‼️

⚜️ This series would contain pressure, supression , murder , kill , bullying , false rumours, manipulation , brainwash

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“Park , lemme explain”. Jimin had it calmly as he was the serene and bashful one. Maybe that was the reason that charmed you this much about him. You always liked the mature and shy ones , maybe an introvert. Not to mention a handsome and hot boy also.The anger of his brother scared him but at the same time , it created a tranquillity in his heart that he cared about him a lot. “There’s nothing to hide jimin, I am so happy but at the same time I am so angry that I got to know about it from my gf and not from you”.

Park , the other twin . How to describe him as he was the most liked among girls due to his outgoing and bubbly personality. Once a playboy always a playboy, as other jealous boys described him. He was the one to excel in outgoing activites and sports. His muscles were bliss , A girl only dreamt of being choked by it . Relationship status is never single, currently dating his school's most hottest girl. But as you said , once a Playboy always a one.

“sorry park”. Jimin declared with his head faced downward. The least he could do was to make his brother angry. Park sighed as he said “ It’s ok, just don’t hide things from me from now on. What if we go on a double date and I can meet my sister in law”. The tease in his voice was enough to make jimin blush red like a tomato. He hid his face from his brother who had a teasing smirk on his face. “ yes ok park,now go”.

Getting ready for meeting jimin was making you go high on clouds , you were consious of your looks as date shouldn't go waste . You met jimin at school and you got immediately attracted by his cute and shy look. Infact , you had a crush on him for almost a year. He was not so popular boy , but he meant the most to you. You too also was not that popular , just an ordinary girl but not to mention a kinky one too.

When you proposed him , he was so shy boy that he hid behind his friends peeking through his shoulders, ofcourse a thing short heighted boys do. Eventually he got the courage to say yes and boom , here's your love story with the school's shy one. And it's already been a month with him .Him and you were smooth at the times of romance , as you were the one to flirt and he was the one to get shy and stop you, and his blushy face fueled you more to tease him .

Finally, you found a shy boy to get along as it was your dream date . A perfect couple you thought you were ,Or do you .? Today you both decided to meet at restaurant for a grand date , or can say double date. His brother park will have his girlfriend along . And ofcourse you were really excited to meet his twin too , it's high time for jimin to introduce you to park. Let's see what would happen.

You entered the restaurant and all you can see were some families and group of friends. Your eyes started searching for jimin, and yup you found a silhouette of someone with his back facing you , and you knew who he was , JIMIN. You ran to hug him from behind to show love and making him shy , you didn't cared about what would people say . You did what you wanted with your lovely Jimin.

The silhouette didn't budge , nor it showed any reaction. You were confused , if it was jimin he would have shivered and melted in your arms . You released the man and were on doubt about whom you hugged . The man turned around and you were relived that it was jimin only . “Who are you ?”. You were shocked to hear those words . How can jimin ask you who are you ? Then you looked at the man's clothing and posture . It was rather more fancy and confident which didn't resembled jimin at all.

“I know I am handsome , but don't check me out now”.You flinched when these words came out of his mouth. You got to know by now that it wasnt jimin , it was rather his twin . On the other hand , park was so impressed by your bold move. The hug that he was longing for so long was completed by you . Many of the girls he dated never hugged him like that , out of blue or in front of too many people , even if they did it was for show off or for money . The unknown girl was cute according to him .

“S-sorry , I am really very sorry , you must be p-park”. Shit you stuttered , you can't feel confident around anyone but jimin. And you messed up so badly. You hugged your brother in law , why ? “Yes I am park , and who are you miss backhug?”. He shifted slightly toward you in matter of asking you the question. Not to mention , he found you extremely hot being confused and guilty .

“I am Y-Y/N , Jimin's g-gf you know”. You was hoping for him to laugh at your silliness and make fun of you as you have heard about his nature by jimin. Instead what you saw was complete shock on his face . You didn't knew why , maybe he wasn't impressed by your looks and would tell his bro to find someone else , you didn't wanted for to happen . No.

“Park I or-. Jimin stopped as he saw you and park together . His heart beat fastened due to fear . Park , his brother was meeting his gf , a lot of doubts were running through his mind. What if he would reject you by saying you are too beautiful for him. He practically ran towards you both.

“Hello y/n , meet my brother park”.You were relieved seeing jimin now but you have a slight disappointment of not hugging him from behind , but atleast everything will go now smoothly.

Will it be ?

💠To be continued 💠

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[afictionaladventure16]

Upon The Sweetest Flower (Chris Evans x Daughter!Reader)

Chapter 1

Upon The Sweetest Flower Masterlist

Warnings: language, light mention of bullying

Word Count: 1,510

You sat in the far back corner of the classroom, it’s where you liked to sit. Where you could see everyone and they really couldn’t see you. If they tried hard enough, they could turn around and spot you. If you whispered loud enough, your voice would be heard through their ears. But you didn’t. They didn’t. You preferred it. 

You were born to an outgoing yet introverted father with an anxious heart. A mother with a sly smile and a vicious talk. You never knew how they worked together but the way they smooth-talked their way into their own little conversations, the small loving touches they placed on each other while in public, the eye contact that they made while they feet apart, you just knew, they were made for each other. Or so you thought. You had been wondering how two people who loved each other so much could just… stop. If life was so unpredictable, what else could happen?

“Good morning class!” Your principal said loud enough for everyone to perk up, she stood tall, her hands in front of her grasped together as she held her head high. “I would like for you all to meet, Mr. Firth, he will be your permanent teacher for the rest of the school year,” she said as a man who you assumed to be, Mr. Firth, walked in. He was Caucasian, bald with a mustache and a small beer belly. You instantly knew that some of the students were bound to speak about his appearance while in the lunch hall. “Good luck, Mr. Firth,” the principal said softly before she walked out of the room. 

Mr. Firth cleared his throat, “Good morning class,” he said in a husky voice, “I bet you are all wondering who I am as much as I am with all of you.” Something about him seemed off, you weren’t sure if it was the energy he gave off or the look in his eyes as he looked around the classroom… you just didn’t like it. “How about we all go around the room, state our names and a fun fact, I’ll start,” He said with a small smile, “My name is Daniel Firth and a fun fact about me is that I am from Houston, Texas.” He then pointed to the first row of desks. 

“Um, Collin,” you glanced over to the boy who was speaking, he was what people considered, a jock. “I uh, play football.” 

“Thank you for telling us the obvious,” Mr. Firth, said as he gestured to Collins clothing. The class erupted in laughter making the boy blush from embarrassment, “I’m just pulling your strings, Collin,” Mr. Firth smirked, it was a sort of apology for the class laughing towards the boy. 

The “game” continued on, students said their name and a small fun fact about themselves. 

Then it landed on you. You sighed, “I’m Y/N and a fun fact about myself is-” 

“Her dad is Captain America!” A voice yelled out. 

Mr. Firth shushed him immediately, “sorry, love, you were saying?” His eyes pulling their attention towards you and for some reason, you didn’t like the way his eyes were on you. 

“Um, a fun fact about myself is that I like to paint.” 

You heard a couple of stifled laughs, you rolled your eyes and drew your attention back towards your notebook you were doodling on, “that was quite rude,” Mr. Firth whispered, “thank you, Y/N, for sharing that wonderful fun fact with the class.” You could already hear it, your classmates weren’t going to let go of the fact that Mr. Firth defended you. You knew they were going to call you “teacher's pet” which was quite childish. 

The bell rang, alerting everyone that class session was over and you couldn’t be more thankful. You quickly threw your books into your bag and sped walked out of the classroom, feeling a sense of relief once you were out of Mr. Firth’s sight. 

You walked over to your locker, grabbing what you needed for your next class before closing your locker. You looked up, only to find your best friend looking at you with the biggest grin, “fuck!” you exclaimed as you placed a hand over your chest. “What the fuck, Genny? You scared the shit out of me.” 

She chuckled, “sorry!” She linked her arm with yours as you both begin walking down the hallway, “I heard that Ms. Daniels got replaced since she’s not coming back anytime soon after having her baby.” 

You sighed, you had actually liked Ms. Daniels, she was a sweet teacher yet strict. As long as you followed her rules, she would be pretty lenient. But did the other students ever follow the rules? No. Causing them to always get in trouble, the main reason why she wasn’t a well-liked teacher. You gave Genny a small nod, “Yup,” you said softly. 

“Well?” You furrowed your eyebrows in a confused manner. “What’s he like??” She added. 

“A huge ass creep,” you mumbled.

“What?” 

You shrugged, “I don’t know, the vibe he gave off was just… I don’t know, Genny, I just don’t like the vibes I’m getting from him.” 

“You don’t like any vibe anyone gives off,” you chuckled at her comment. It was true.

“Not my fault people give off bad vibes,” you remarked, “you’ll see what I mean when you go to your third-period class.” 

She sighed, “Anyway, we still on for this weekend? I could so use just a night of binge-watching movies and eating popcorn.” 

“Yes, the weekend is still a go, my dad said he can take us to the grocery store in the afternoon.” 

“Bless you, Mr. Evans!” she exclaimed, “he’s the sweetest.” 

You smiled, “I know.”  

The school day soon finished, you walked out into the pick-up area, spotting your dads Cherokee Jeep. You quickly made your way over, opening the door only to hear him blasting Shining Star by Earth, Wind, & Fire. You got into your seat, closing the car door, “Dad!” you said loudly but he was still jamming out to the song, “Dad!” You said louder, he looked at you as he sang along to the song. “Ugh,” you groaned in annoyance as you placed your seatbelt on, you let him continue to jam out to the song as he drove out of the pick-up zone. 

The song slowly ended, your dad sighed with content as he lowered the volume to the radio, “how was school?” He asked as his eyes focused on the road. 

“Good,” you said softly as you watched the city life pass by. 

“Just good? Come on, tell me about your day, I want details!” he said with a pleading voice. 

You couldn’t help but smile, you loved how he wanted to hear about your day, how he always made the small things in your day important. “Well, we got a new teacher to replace Ms. Daniels since she had a baby.” 

“Oh yeah, I saw her the other day! She told me to tell you hi,” your dad said with a smile, “she seems happier now, doesn’t she?” 

You nod, “yeah.” 

“Having kids will do that to you,” he said softly as he turned into the street of the neighborhood you guys lived in, “tell me about your new teacher.” 

You sighed, “he’s alright, I guess.” 

“You guess?” Chris furrowed his eyebrows as he gave you a side glance, “what do you mean, you guess?” 

“I don’t know,” you shrugged, “he’s like my Freshman science teacher Mr. Foster, awkward and monotoned.” 

He hummed in response as he pulled up into the elementary school pick up zone, he placed the car in park. You looked over to the gate, waiting for the teachers to walk out with the children, “Second grade,” you pointed to a room that you could see from the car, “Mr. Diaz,” you stated. 

“Mhm,” Your dad said as he remembered the room, “what about him?” 

“I wonder where he’s at now,” you thought, “I know my second grade year was his last year teaching at the school.” You turned to look at your dad, “I saw Mrs. Henderson the other day, remember her?” He nods, “she recognized me! Can you believe that? My preschool teacher recognized me!” 

“Well, aren’t you the same grade as her daughter?” Chris then spotted some of the kids walking in a line with their teacher towards the gate, “there they come.” 

You sighed as you unbuckled your seat belt, “be back.” You got off the car and walked over to the gate. Chris watched you in silence. He watched as you smiled at your little brother. He watched as his son smiled with glee at the sight of his older sister, the way he ran to her and the way you held his hand on the walk back to the car. He could see his son's lips move so quickly, he knew that he must have been telling you about his day. He was so proud, so happy to have you both in his life. You both are his pride and joy.

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[rangoatemybabynsfw]

Remember how I said I had deaf!Keith headcanons...

I have TWO deaf!Keith au ideas that will probably never get around to writing but I’m throwing them down right here because I need them out of my brain so I can do some actual writing, kay? (Both are Klance btw)

It’s long so it’s under the cut. Feel free to leave comments, thoughts, etc in the replies since my ask box is still closed haha.

Born deaf Keith AU (not as angsty) 

Parents figured it out a little late as he wouldn’t respond to them when they talked. But he was always watching them intently, his stubby little baby fingers on their mouths. 

Gets his first hearing aid at two. Cries when he hears his parent’s voices for the first time.

He doesn’t like it when people stare at his hearing aids, so he keeps them out for the longest time when at school.

Falls behind in middle school because he can’t hear the lecture-only teachers and they talk too fast for him to figure it out via lipreading. And since he’s not a particularly outgoing kid he doesn’t ask others for their notes.

Shiro becomes his tutor. He’s fluent in sign language as his brother is deaf. Keith comes to admire Shiro a lot and starts wearing his aids again but growing his hair out to hide them.

He’s one of the smartest kids in the high school. Has a few friends but he doesn’t talk. He doesn’t like the sound of his voice when he does talk so he avoids it. They chalk it up to him being introverted since they don’t know about his deafness. 

Meets Lance in high school and it’s rocky. Lance thinks Keith’s a pretentious straight-A asshole who was ignoring him when he asked a question about his notes (he couldn’t hear him sometimes he just doesn’t wear his aids) so they don’t get along at first.

Lance throws things at Keith sometimes and shoots rude glares at him. Keith then begins to actively ignore him.

Lance catches him adjusting his aids in his seat and stares perplexed. What the hell are those? Is he listening to music in class? Typical. The straight-A student gets to do whatever he wants because he’s so smart.

More animosity.

Someone comes to talk to Keith at the school about colleges and asks Lance for his classroom. Lance points the way, shocked that Keith talks to anyone since he doesn’t think he’s ever heard Keith speak even once. He watches as they have a conversation with his hands with confusion. 

What the hell? Keith’s deaf? Why didn’t he just say that? He never would have picked a fight with him if he’d known.

Keith signs at him ‘But you still would have picked a fight with me if I’d been able to hear? I shouldn’t have to tell you that I’m deaf for you to be a decent fucking human being.’

Lance leaves Keith alone for a while. Keith thinks he’s finally gotten Lance off his case.

Several weeks later Lance taps Keith’s shoulder and asks if they can talk. He does a whole practiced bunch of sign language to apologize. 

Signs out ‘I wanted to tell you I’m sorry. I should have been nicer, regardless of your hearing. I was terrible and you don’t have to forgive me but can I tell you why I got so mad at you?’  Keith nods, arms crossed and waiting for an explanation. ‘Do you have your hearing aids in?’ Keith nods again so Lance speaks to Keith. ‘I have a big family and uh, I love them but the worst thing about it is sometimes it feels like no one’s listening to you. Like no one is hearing you even when you scream. It’s annoying and they’re not even doing it intentionally. So when it felt like you were ignoring me on purpose it got me frustrated. And angry. You don’t talk much but I get the feeling you know the feeling. Being ignored or not listened to…sucks.’ Keith admits that true with a nod. ‘So can we start again?’ he asks and signs out ‘want to be friends?’

Keith and Lance start over. Lots of talking on Lance’s end and lots of listening on Keith’s.

Lance does some tutoring with Keith and Shiro to bring his grades back up. He learns a little sign language by proxy. Sometimes Shiro will teach him some when they finish their lessons. 

Lance and Keith start having conversations at school with sign, their friendship growing. He stops caring if people know if he’s deaf. Leaves his hair long in case he wants to cover them but starts wearing his hair in a tail so people can see his hearing aids without feeling embarrassed.

People ask Lance how to say things to Keith. They want to talk to Keith too. Now Keith’s got lots of school friends eager to talk to him.

Lance starts falling for Keith over the summer break. They hang out regularly with Keith’s super smart friends from other schools. (Pidge and Allura from an all girls school and Hunk from another school) YAY! THE SQUAD!

By the end of high school they’re both in love (BECAUSE I LIKE A HAPPY ENDING DAMN IT)

Not born deaf Keith (ANGSTY TW: PHYSICAL ABUSE and BULLYING)

He was a really quiet infant and toddler, almost never opening his mouth to speak. But then his parents died in an accident and he stopped talking period.

He was shuttled off to a foster home and was teased relentlessly by other kids for not talking. He knows how but he doesn’t want to. He just wants to be left alone. He gets into fights with the kids until he’s moved to a different home.

The second home is worse. The kids don’t pick on him but one of the adults beats him regularly when he doesn’t answer or doesn’t do what he’s told. 

He takes a beating so bad he has to be taken to the hospital. It’s so bad that he ruptured both eardrums and loses his hearing. 

Keith gets moved to a new home again, this one with an older couple, one of them deaf. They try to teach him sign but he’s obstinate. He figures he’ll just be shuttled off again when he’s too inconvenient for them. But things get better. They’re nicer than the last few homes. 

He gets teased in middle school about his hearing aids but it doesn’t last long when he beats up his bullies. 

One of the older couple passes away. As much as they want to keep them she can’t take care of all her foster kids on her own. They’re all sent out to new homes.

The newest home isn’t bad but it’s not great either. The parents do the bare minimum but they don’t beat him and the other kids give him his space. Better than nothing. He starts high school in the fall.

Lance comes into the school two weeks late. Just moved. Settles into the class pretty well but takes note of Keith who always seems to sit alone at the back of the class.

He notices that people tend to avoid the deaf kid but some of them mess with him. Throw paper airplanes and such at him. He sits alone at lunch. And the kid never talks. Not even to the teachers about the bullying that’s clearly going on.

Lance sees Keith getting beat up after school. They take out his hearing aid and toss it around. Keith’s about to just leave without it until an enraged Lance decks the head honcho. He returns Keith his hearing aid that he puts back in.

‘I didn’t ask you to help me’ Keith writes in a small steno pad. ‘Why did you do that?’

‘I don’t need a reason to help someone’ Lance tells him. ‘Besides those scumbags had it coming…taking someone’s means to navigate the world around them. No mercy.’

Keith keeps an eye out for Lance after that. Sees the way he’s constantly helping people and teachers with anything they need. Turns out Lance has a blind sister who used to get teased a lot. Kids would steal her walking stick and hide it when she was little and Lance always came to her rescue.

Keith doesn’t get picked on for over a week. It’s weird. He keeps expecting the usual guys to come and try to take his hearing aids but they don’t. They seem to be preoccupied with other things now.

He asks Lance about it after a few days. Lance says he told them to leave Keith alone is all. ‘Really? That’s it and they listened to you?’ Keith asks on his steno pad. ‘Yeah’ Lance tells him with a smile. ‘I’m a very persuasive guy’

Someone tells Keith later that the reason they aren’t picking on Keith anymore is that they’re picking on Lance instead. They saw him get beat up in the locker room the other day. He had bruises all over.

Keith is furious. That nosey idiot! Doesn’t he know that if he gets hit hard enough he’ll end up just like Keith? He can’t let that happen to the only kid who’s ever been nice to him. 

He overhears the beatdown behind the school. ‘What a moron, taking that deaf kid’s place’ they say and ‘what has that guy ever done for you or anyone other than scowl at them?’ and ‘why are you even helping him? He your boyfriend?’  Lance just answers ‘I don’t need a reason to help someone, so just…leave him alone.”

Keith slams the door open and they drop Lance to the floor. Keith readies his fists but the group laughs. They’re done there so they leave. Keith helps Lance up off the floor and to the nurses office. (The nurse thinks for a hot second that Keith beat him up but Lance assures them it wasn’t him.) 

Once they’re sure there’s no permanent damage Keith angrily signs at him. Lance doesn’t understand. He uses the notebook instead. ‘You’re an idiot. A moron. You could have gotten hurt, badly hurt. You have friends and family. You shouldn’t get beat up for me.’ But Lance says that’s his choice to make, not Keith’s. 

After that Keith doesn’t let Lance out of his sight. Hell if he’s getting beat again because of Keith. That works two fold because the bullies don’t want to mess with two people at once since there’s a chance they could lose. Keith and Lance together is too much of a gamble to risk.

Being together all the time after that, Lance talks with Keith regularly in his notebook. Then he learns some sign language to talk more. Keith actually starts smiling at school after that and Lance’s new friend turns into his new crush. 

The one time the bully group tries to take them both the bullies fail spectacularly. Keith and Lance trounce them (suffering a few bruises for their troubles). In their victory, they kiss. After that they begin dating. 

They make it through high school without any more hiccups. Keith’s never been happier. They end up going to the same college so they won’t be split up. Because as formidable as the are on their own, they’re best as a team. (BECAUSE I LIKE A HAPPY ENDING OKAY??)

[nerfherderbinniegirl]

What has been running through my mind since last Thursday

I have had so many thoughts since TROS came out.

Before it’s release I was beyond excited, hyper about it! It’s finally here, the conclusion, the wonderful finish to 42 years of amazing movies, ones that might not have been perfect, but built up to a wonderful story arc that I lived and breathed as a child and then as a younger adult. Now, as a middle aged adult female, who grew up with Princess Leia, Luke and Han, with Lando and Chewie of course, as well as Darth Vadar, as the background of my childhood, and I had gained Obi-Wan, Anakin, Padme, Shmi, and Bail into my inner circle of love for characters when I was in my 20’s and early 30’s; I was so excited because I had also in my 40’s gained Ben Solo (he was always Ben to me), Rey and Finn, with Rose, keeping Chewie nearby and giving me glimpses into the world that had never been perfect, but resonated with me.

Ben resonated with me most of all because of how my childhood went. I was a difficult child and teen. I say all the time that had I been born 25 to 30 years later than I was, I’d have been medicated from age 6 on. I had medical issues with my ears, my hearing. I developed severe anxiety around school and social situations, when my natural state is actually to be very outgoing. I am introverted in regards to my energy needs, however I am not a quiet person at all. I am too loud, too emotional, too intense for most people, my family most of all. I was the kid who cried too easily and stomped up stairs and slammed bedroom doors because of what I was lacking.

I lacked validation for myself, for my real feelings. Everything I experienced was real and concrete for me. I was not given any tools that worked for me, so I delved into myself. Deep inside I lived in a world that was private and a fantasy. I love fantasy novels, I have read more science fiction/fantasy than anything else, and all of it is always more fantasy than science. I loved Doctor Who growing up, watched it religiously every Sunday afternoon. I really had no choice but to rely on it to help me through my crippling anxiety and fear for every Monday morning. I was an embarrassment to my family, my mother did not know what to do with me, so she did nothing to change my coping skills. I was a 6,7, 8, 9, and 10 year old who did not know how to do anything of basic skills in school, had no friends for more years than I like to remember. I was bullied, and survived because we did not have the technology that we have now. I stopped having so many bad effects of my anxiety by the end of 5th grade because of a wonderful teacher, who was patient and funny. He never made me feel like a freak, though I was.

In my mind, I was stupid, worthless, unmanageable, unlovable, a problem. A problem that could not be solved. I wanted to leave my world and live elsewhere where I could become anyone I wanted to be. The transition from elementary school to middle school gave me the freedom within to change some things. I became more outgoing and tried to erase who I was in the past. I did not do that well, but I also made lasting friendships for the first time. My best friend since age 12 is a testament to that.

At 15 I planned to end my life. I still don’t know what stopped me, though I did not even follow through with any part of my plan. I pulled through, found meaning in music, books, my friendships. I survived even though I should not have. 

I share all of this because when I watched TFA the first time, I understood Ben Solo so deeply it scared me. I thought, I’ve been there, I’ve had those thoughts. I tried to fight back the same ways. I did think about ending my father’s life twice as an adult. Once at age 18 and once at age 27. He was a hurtful and abusive man. The damage done was intense. I could never feel comfortable around my friend’s fathers because of what I thought a father was supposed to be like. And at the same time I wanted my father’s love so much, I craved it. Even through all of the psychological abuse, through the conditioning that I was put through, to be the perfect daughter. “Don’t be so loud, be thinner, don’t grow your hair long, be what I want you to be, be less emotional, be more helpful, don’t be selfish, don’t ask for anything you want, be satisfied with what we deem is right for you.” These words were the pinnacle, and they happened 2 months before he died (not at my hands, cancer got him in the end): “When you are thin, then you will be beautiful, and then you’ll find a husband.” I was 27 years old, single, the last one in the family, but not the youngest, the middle. I was pathetic to my family. Unlovable completely because my own father could not see my beauty or think I was worthy of love. I wanted to kill him by driving him off the road and into a tree, off a bridge, something. But I kept my mouth shut because that is what I was trained to do, and I swallowed it down.

When I was really young, before age 2, my father was attentive and loving. I was the perfect little girl. My younger sister was born right before my 2nd birthday, and I was forgotten. All of a sudden it shifted. I have visceral feelings of being pushed aside, and warned to be careful with her, not to hurt her. I was not a hurtful person, I was not violent. I could have only been violent to myself. I spent so many years hating her because she took my place because my father could not find it in himself to have space for both of us.  

My mother was not much better, she was dismissive in her abuse. Forgetful and selfish in her own ways. They did not plan to have the 3 of us younger kids. We were all surprises! Yay! Wow, so now you are saddled with 3 more children you never planned for, and you actually have to parent them. What a concept! My mother was flawed in so many ways. She had the nerve to ask me if I needed her at my college and then graduate school graduations. Asked me if I needed her to see my first apartment. To all of you mother’s out there, aren’t you supposed to want to be present for those things? Wow. Though, with fucking bells on for my younger sister’s graduations! There are so many bad stories about how I was the throw away child in the family. It’s sick.

Ben was supposed to get better than he did! He was supposed to get what I finally found, belonging in love and with a made family. My husband is the best thing that every happened to me. He loves all of my quirky nature. He knows all of the stories. He’s heard my siblings make remarks about me, and treat me like I am a leper, and he knows me best. He loves me fully, protectively and intensely. Ben and Rey’s story spoke so strongly to me because it reminds me of us. They both want to protect the other, and they feel compelled to be with each other even when it is hard.

It’s a disservice to the fans to have Ben die at the end of TROS. They betrayed us with that ending. Ben and Rey earned their happiness and family. They earned their connection. I know in time it will hurt less, I’ve lost both of my parents and I know how grieving works for me, however I will never be okay with what DLF, JJ, Chris, Kathleen and Bob Iger took from us. And I was forever be grateful for the wonderment that is Rian Johnson, he is a blessing for all of us. He created a story that gave life to redemption and healing. He gave us love so deep and primal, not based on sexual attraction (not only, or at first – though that shirtless scene is brilliant) but based on understanding and deep affection for each other’s souls.

I will end with saying that I am a licensed marriage and family therapist. I work with couple’s and families to understand what drives us in relationships, and how to heal the past experiences so we can be the best people in our relationships and with ourselves. It’s work I had to do before I was ready for the deep and abiding love that I have with my husband, who brought me two wonderful parents who have helped heal this little girl inside to feel accepted and wanted as she is, even when she is too loud and too opinionated.

[toloveawarlord]

can you tell us a bit about your ikevamp ocs?

*crackles knuckles* Alright, but hear me out. I have currently 15 ocs (13 of them being children but is anyone surprised?) I will certainly be creating suitor specific ocs, but those typically come knocking at my door whenever I am playing a route so it’ll be a few days before I get any of those. 

This is gonna be long so strap yourselves in fam.

I’ll start off with the first OC that I wanted created and that is *drum roll*

1. Amelia Earhart! 

I wanted to have at least one oc that is history based like the rest of the bitey boys, and through my research, I settled on her. Or rather, she flew her airplane right into my oc pile and said “pick me! pick me! I am amazing!” and thus she was the first oc for Ikevamp. 

Amelia or “Melia” as she goes by at the bar she owns in town, was plucked from her time by the Count after her final flight when she disappeared from time itself. In this story, she crashed at her destination but was seriously injured. The Count turned her into a vampire and then took her back to the mansion

I won’t spoil too much or there won’t a reason to write the story, but she ends up moving out of the mansion some time later and opens her own bar, which Arthur frequents as she assists him in finding women who won’t cause a fuss if he drinks their blood. Why did she leave the mansion? Guess I’ll have to write that story soon. 

2. Alara Bayar 

I’m a sucker for kids ending up in the care of the suitors, so I have my little baby Alara. Originally hailing from Turkey, her mother was forced into a marriage with a French noble and Alara came with the two to France. Her step-father barely acknowledges her, and is very cruel to the two. She witnesses an argument that ends in her mother’s death. Attempting to escape her feral step-father, she runs away and finds herself at the mansion late at night. Long story short, they vampire boys take her in as their own child. She was 6 years old when they met her and she has just turned 16 at the present of the game.

And now to get into the kids. Unlike my Ikerev Kids, I’m not planning on doing an origin toddler story for this bunch. I don’t want to run it into the ground. So instead, I’m going to focus on them as teenagers and have some one-shots of them from their toddler days or maybe do some headcannons about them. It’s up in the air at the moment.

Vanessa “Nessa” Bonaparte 

As a child: Generally a happy and good “sister” to the other kids. She typically followed the rules and doesn’t argue with her dad or “Grandpa Count” when asked to do something. 

As a Teenager: Loves swordplay more than any other hobby, sparring and training with her dad is her favorite thing. Attends a public Academy for school and is considered a social butterfly. She has plenty of human friends and cares for them deeply, despite knowing that once high school ends, that she will have to cut them off.

Lyric Mozart (Twin)

As a child: Intimidated by his father’s brilliance and cold nature, he struggled to learn to play the piano. He played the best when doing duets with his twin sister. Began violin lessons at the age of 8. Timid and soft-spoken, he was often left out of play because of his indecisiveness.

As a teenager- Prince Charming, according to his classmates. He solely plays the violin now, accompanying his sister as she plays the piano. He won as President of the Student Council as a second year student at the Academy. He is kind and thoughtful of his fellow students, but keeps the humans at arms length, afraid of rejection because of him being a vampire.

Aria Mozart (Twin)

As a child- Innate talent with the piano, reading musical composition was easy for her, but she struggled to play with how small her hands were. Much more outgoing than her brother, dragging him along with her when playing with the other kids. Vies for her father’s approval more than her twin.

As a teenager- More introverted and focused on her craft. She has a strained relationship with her father, feeling inferior to his skill and pours her energy into catching up with him. Tends to be a loner at school, spending most of her time in the music room, practicing. She struggles with her own identity as a musician.

Emery Newton

As a child- Overly curious and sneaky in nature. She blamed any and all accidents that happened in the mansion on Vanessa, knowing that if she played the cute and innocent card that she would not get in trouble. This only fueled her behavior to play pranks and cause mischief in the home.

As a teenager- Currently suspended from the academy for blowing up the science laboratory. She did it to spite the teacher who she claims is ill-qualified to teach them. She is currently studying along side her father, preferring this to school as she finds school dull and boring. Skips class often whenever she does attend.

Owen Da Vinci 

As a child- Ring leader of the kids. If they all played together, he made the rules and was the only one who could change them. Hated losing and would bend the rules so that he could win. Could be a bit of a bully if things weren’t going his way.

As a teenager- Exudes charm and is always surrounded by both girls and boys. He competes in horse races and is the captain of the school team. He drinks the blood of some of his classmates but uses a drug to put them into a fog so that they don’t remember. 

Alaina Conan Doyle 

As a child - Cried all the time for attention. Thick as thieves with Emery. The two were practically inseperable.The biggest troublemaker of the girls. Even as child, her blood lust was hard to control. She couldn’t enter a public school until high school. Her thirst was easy to quench as a child, since she couldn’t drink that much blood. 

As a teenager- Attends the academy but has to take a bottle of blood with her to sip on throughout the day. she calls them her smoothies to help with a “health condition”. In her first year of school, she killed a classmate by accident and was nearly banned from returning. Loves to play around with humans, especially timid boys. She cuts them to drink the blood without biting. 

Clarisse Van Gogh

As a child- Pure flower child. She loved being outdoors and in nature. She would often get lost in the forest chasing after a butterfly and would have to constantly be watched when outside. She likes to play with her dad’s paints and would rather spend time with him than playing games with the other kids. 

As a teenager- Still a pure bean. Her classmates refer to her as an airhead and gullible. She makes good marks in class but is typically doodling or daydreaming during lessons. She is willing to help anyone out no matter how busy she is. Paints a lot of abstract things, simply adding color and strokes based on her feelings. 

Malachi Van Gogh (Twin)

As a child- Big brother to his twin and his cousin. He often bumped heads with Owen if the other child ever tried to pick on the other two Van Goghs. He especially cared for Clarrise, because he could tell she could not fend for herself at all. 

As a teenager- Wary of humans. He did not attend the academy until Clarisse did, joining a second year when she was in first. He has no interest in art, but has a deep love for baking. He makes the lunches for all the kids attending school.

Knox Van Gogh (Twin)

As a child - Constantly felt like he had to compete for his brothers attention. He could be intentionally mean to Clarisse but regretted instantly because of her soft nature and she never got upset with him. He cried easily.

As a teenager- Bad boy, loner. He is the only child not attending school. He tends to wander at night, getting close to humans. He finds them fascinating in how they don’t sense danger lurking around them as a vampire would. He sometimes steals Clarisse’s art and sells it for cash.

Katsuro Dazai

As a Child- Quiet and introverted. He prefers to read books and play alone. He questions everything in his path, trying to find the meaning behind it. His favorite things to play with was sand. 

As a teenager- Still relatively quiet. He spends most of his time with Clarisse, either reading or writing while she paints. He follows her around at school, not conversing with other classmates. He finds her light to be so blinding that he can’t help but be near her.

Nina Shakespeare 

As a child- Nina was locked away in her room until the age of 8, not allowed out or allowed visitors other than her father. Developed an imaginary friend that she kept even as she grew older. When she was finally allowed out into the mansion, she hated the other children out of jealousy and lashed out often.

As a teenager- Aloof at school and unapproachable. Many of classmates are afraid of her. She absolutely despises discussing her father’s works as she blames him for her horrible and lonesome childhood. She creates dark and tragic stories to reflect her own feelings towards the world. Nina cannot connect with her classmates because she fears them rejecting her and leaving her alone.

Nico Moreau (The Count’s Son with his mother's maiden name)

As a child - Curteous and inclusive, he always tried to keep the peace among the kids. Never a fussy child. He did whatever was asked of him and thoroughly respects his father. 

As a teenager- Keeps up with all the happenings at the school, especially anything related to the other vampires. He is the one tasked with making sure that Alaina doesn’t kill any other students. He is suspected to be the next student council president after Lyric graudates as his classmates find him to be gentle and kind and very smart. He hides his own bloodlust well. He falls only 3rd behind Alaina and Owen in thirst level, but he has the most self control.

Lucien D’Arc

As a child- A follower of the other kids. He never stood out, and was called lazy most of the time. The only game he ever excelled at was hide and seek, and he  loved to be the seeker, feeding off the others fear of being found. Had a tendency to harm small animals. 

As a teenager- Learned sword play but finds it tedious and dull. Has a sadistic side. He loves human girls because of the smell of their blood when they are frightened. Rarely follows through with drinking their blood, finding satisfaction in bringing them to the brink of breaking from their fears. 

The kids are all going to the academy under the family name Moreau so that no one questions their original surnames. 

The kids are not set in stone fully, as they might get more siblings or they might slightly change. 

And there you have it! All my current ocs for the game! 

Let me know which ones you are most interested in! ^_^

-Ruka

[writingmydaydreamsofafangirl]

Got to Go My Own Way – Olivia White – (Lemonade Mouth)

Olivia felt lonely riding her bike home from school not being able to grow accustomed to the new routine, which started three weeks ago. Ever since they were born, the White twins were inseparable. (Name) had given her beloved sister the nickname Olive after the cartoon Popeye. She always felt like her savor when it came to bullies, making friends, and protecting her from any harm. The two siblings were fraternal with (Name) being born with (h/c) hair and (e/c) eyes versus her blonde hair and blue-eyed counterpart. Despite this people still confused the pair which frustrated (Name) who wanted Olive to be recognized for herself and not being her sister. She had always been the more outgoing sister; from a young age, she took violin and dance lessons to keep her away from her not so picturesque home life. While her other half rather stay home reading and playing chess with their Gran. There was nothing wrong with being introverted, but (Name) couldn’t help the pain she felt coming home from a competition or friend’s house. Olivia replayed the incident that happened almost a month ago which tore the duo apart.

Walking into her bedroom, Olivia was shocked to see her twin sister’s side of the room completely bare; void of any sign that she existed in this space. “Gran!” The girl yelled in a panic, scared something may have happened to one of her last family members. She heard the guest room door behind her open with a bang making her jump. “What’s wrong!” A familiar voice shouted from behind her; spinning on her heel, Olivia came face to face with a ghost. (Name) had dyed her hair (h/c) with half of it shaved down, dark makeup, and sporting a new gothic look. It felt like she couldn’t breathe; the person who stood in front of her was a stranger. “Olive, snap out of it.” (Name) stated snapping her fingers in front of her younger sister. “What have you done?” She asked, feeling overwhelmed from the aftershock. “What have I done? Olivia, I’m just finding my voice in the world, and I happen to like the way I look.” (Name) huffed annoyance seeping through her voice; this was a side Olivia never expected to see. “So, you quit the band just so you can do this!” The blonde yelled back, anger welling up in the place of fear. The older twin rolled her eyes, crossing her arms before she stared down her sister. “Olivia, you need to realize I did all this for you! For the first time in your life, you have friends, you’re finally truly happy. This is your band; not mine. People still confuse us, and I want you to stand on your own for once.” (Name) argued the tears that built up in her eyes during her speech beginning to trickle down. Before Olivia could say anything, the door to the guest room was slammed shut to never open again.

[helloresumeme-blog]

It is no secret that bullying and social issues are problematic, at school, on social media, at home and in the workplace.

So why does it happen and how do you deal with it?

The workplace is like our second home, so we should respect it and those in it.

So why is it that people in the workplace are so mean?

It is no secret that bullying and social issue are problematic, at school, on social media, at home and in the workplace.

Given we spend so many hours of our life in our work space, we not only need social interaction to survive, we also need to be happy and to feel valued. When we experience social issues like bullying and exclusion for an extended time, this can lead to complex mental health issues amongst other things.

When you are placed in a work space, you don’t get to choose who you work with. So, you are spending almost 40 hours a week with people who you have to co-operate with.

There are varying reasons for why people at work can be mean, and underlying issues to explain their behaviour.

STAFF IN THE WORKPLACE

Social Comparison.

Cliques.

Territory.

Personality clash.

Many years ago, when I was 16 years old, I attended a school that catered to both adults and adolescents. I was enrolled into the adult section, repeating year 11. There was a 21 year old girl, who learned that I was working at her local Woolworths on the register. For reasons unknown to me, she would regularly come in and taunt me.

As a teen, I assumed that when you become an adult, you mature. But this is not our reality.

_____________________________

SOCIAL COMPARISON

According to Psychologist Leon Festinger.“

Human beings have the drive to assess their opinions and to know more about their abilities and when they are incapable of evaluating their opinions and abilities, they tend to compare themselves with others.

Active downward comparison happens when a person compares himself with others by demeaning or causing harm to them. By derogating the target or causing harm to him, this person generates a situation in which the target is worse off than him, therefore giving him the chance to make a downward comparison.”

When someone says something cruel to bring another person down, their ultimate goal is to make that person feel insecure.

For the girl who would taunt me, she had decided that there was something about me that threatened her. She had her own insecurities to battle with, so it made her feel better believing she could break me down.

And in case you are wondering, it did not work.

Eventually, she gave up.

_____________________________

In the working environment, we have a lot to prove. When you look around, you see people doing things with what seems to be

‘complete ease.’

For example, a girl I used to work with was an extremely fast typer, so she was able to complete her admin work much faster than I. People have skills and qualities that you don’t have, but vice versa. So, what happens is, we tend to compare. And for some people, this can feel threatening.

When we compare, we do 1 of 3 things.

Accept that they have something we don’t and focus on our own skills.

Be inspired and try to improve upon that skill.

Resent them for having something we don’t.

Question

: What do you do when you can see someone else is progressing further along than you because they are stronger in this skill?

I want to leave you with something on this particular point. When my son and niece were both about 4 years old, my sister and I took them to a mums and Bubs music group.

As we were playing a game where a child would get chosen to “hold the puppets”, my niece desperately wanted to be chosen but wasn't. I saw my sister quietly say to her, “when someone else gets chosen, you should cheer them on”. Her message here was...

"Build others up and celebrate their successes as they happen."

_____________________________

CLIQUES

A clique is a small close-knit group of people who do not readily allow others to join them.

To feel included and a part of something, requires social interaction.

A social group

is formed by fellow colleagues chatting in the workplace and everyone is welcome to join.

A clique

is a group of people who stick to that group and rarely, others receive invites or acknowledgement from those within the clique.

Usually, there is a leader and how this leader thinks and behaves will potentially influence the others in the clique. So, if the leader is somewhat of a mean girl, the others will generally follow.

The problem with cliques are, for those who are not in them may experience exclusion and isolation, and maybe some workplace bullying.

So what happens when the leader is your manager?

_________________________

Horrible bosses much?

I once witnessed a manager telling her team about a staff member who had called in sick. Our manager didn't believe the employee’s reason and discussed this opinion with her team, giving the girl a bad reputation.

Heres a thought, If she had said nothing, people within the team probably wouldn’t have given it a second thought.

Managers are to manage the team as a whole and individually. So when it comes to personal matters, this should stay between the manager and the individual. This was the moment where I lost confidence and trust in her.

My point here is, my manager was the leader of this clique and those who were not a part of it were gossiped about and spoken down to.

_________________________

So how do you manage people like this?

The issue is their behaviour and beliefs, not them as people.  Although it can be really hard to, separating the 2, may help you navigate this much more easily.

Another consideration is to not always assume the worst. Expect that people will let you down, but don’t assume they will.

Option #1

Why not try getting to know them individually. Separating one from the herd can open doors for change.

Option #2 

Step up and ask why they behave this way. Put them on the spot. Even if it’s your boss. Why this works is because they won't be expecting it. The element of surprise is quite effective.

Option #3 

Take it to the boss. They have a responsibility to ensure each staff member is treated with respect. Even if your boss is close friends with them, do it anyway. They are your boss first and foremost.

_________________________

TERRITORY

Those who welcome others are true role models.

I have a Labrador, she is very playful and great with kids and other dogs. I wanted to take her to my friends place, but decided against it because she has a Rottweiler, who is very territorial.

When we feel secure in a space, it can be confronting and intimidating to have someone else come into that space. I am not saying we are like dogs, but I am saying, there are some emotional and protective similarities.

With kids, its their toys or bedroom. With adults, it’s our work space or home. We like familiarity, and something unfamiliar can make us feel uncomfortable. Some people have the ability to embrace this, but others don’t.

So, when a new staff member enters a workplace, certain people may respond in a negative way toward that person. They may need for others to gain their trust before they let their guard down. This type of person is very territorial. They earned their place there and expect, like a rookie, others should to.

_________________________

So how do you manage people like this?

I believe it is important to allow them the time to get to know you. Don’t hold it against them that this is how they deal with change. Be exactly who you are and do your job well. Focus on your work and learning the ropes. Eventually, by doing this, you will potentially gain their trust and be accepted into friendship with them.

_________________________

PERSONALITY CLASH

Sometimes, it is simply because they just don’t like you. We can't be liked by everyone, even though it does seem as though there are people out there who are loved by all, this is not possible.

We all have annoying traits, and some more than others, so when people are irritated but someone, they may tend to be pretty obvious about this.

A close friend of mine, Hayley, has a very outgoing personality, a great sense of humour, beautiful heart and is very loud. She never hides who she is, so when you meet her, you know exactly who you are getting to know.

She worked with a girl who would say nasty things to her, not because Hayley had done anything in particular to intentionally upset her, but simply because she didn't like how loud she was.

_________________________

Why did this bother her so much?

I believe there was an element of envy here. When someone is drawing attention to themselves, others are likely to stay in the shadows. Also, it can be tough for someone who is introverted to be spontaneous and outgoing. These people may need to do some soul searching.

At the end of the day, we don’t change our personalities so as everyone likes us, we be who we are and if people can't accept this, then tough bickies, that's on them.

_________________________

So how do you manage people like this?

Honestly, you don’t. You can't change other people, but you can only control how you respond. Continue being who you are, so long as you are doing it with integrity. So, if you are loud, that's okay, but don’t do it so as to annoy that person. If you are talkative, don’t antagonise them by talking to them a lot. Say hello and make small talk, but keep it to the minimum.

Showing kindness despite whether or not someone likes you is the best approach. You are then not giving them reason not to like you.

_________________________

Why are bosses mean?

HORRIBLE BOSSES 

Lack of self awareness.

Denial & Culture.

Stress.

Misunderstanding.

Power.

_____________________________

LACK OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

Emotional intelligence is a combination of self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy and social skill.

As leaders, It is our responsibility to set an example. When we behave badly, we are setting a tone for our team that certain behaviours are acceptable. So, the second I see my manager gossiping with their staff about other staff, or humiliating them in front of others, I instantly lose a level of trust and respect for them.

When I was working for a medical clinic many moons ago, The office practice manager was renowned for her gossip in the workplace across her team. Every staff member knew and expected no less from her.

One day, a colleague took offence to something I had said which was in no way intended to upset her. A patient had a voicemail left by someone from our clinic and when I listened to it, I recognised my colleagues’ voice. The patient did not understand why this message had been left as it only requested for her to call back.

So, I asked my colleague what she was needing to talk to them about. She became angry with me accusing me of being wrong. I explained that I had heard her voice on the message service and that the patient was on the phone waiting to speak with her as requested.

She raised her voice at me and behaved quite irrational, saying that it is not possible for me to know it is her. Clearly, I had struck a nerve. I decided to end the conversation and advised the patient it must have been an error.

A day later, our practice manager approached me about the matter. What I found to be odd was her message behind what she said. She was talking to me about conflict in the workplace.

I found this to be quite ironic, mainly because she was in no way an example of someone who had an ability to resolve conflict or nurture healthy relationships with those around her.

The point I am making here is, when Managers behave poorly, it makes it very hard for their staff to see them as a leader. Nothing she said resinated with me because my focus was on her hypocrisy.

My boss lacked all of the qualities that made up emotional intelligence. She didn't realise that many staff submitted to her out of intimidation, or that her team perceived her as a dishonest and disloyal manager.

Is your manager actually being mean by gossiping about you or publicly humiliating you by pointing out a mistake you made?

YES! Let’s turn the question around. Is it nice to spread gossip about someone? Is it nice to belittle someone in public?

_________________________

So how do you manage a manager who behaves this way? If I had my time again, I would do this.

Sit them down and let them know that what they are doing is not something you will accept. You are an individual who has a right to feel empowered in the workplace and free from bullying and slander.

If you are worried about making your work environment harder for yourself, then ask yourself, is it not hard already? Would you see yourself staying for the next 5–10 years being treated this way?

By standing up for yourself you could potentially make things better, maybe there could be a future for you there.

If you are worried about losing your job, and you decide not to address the issue because of this, then it may be worth looking for another job. In saying this, consider that it could be the same in the next joint. You can't predict this, neither can you predict whether or not good can come from addressing the issue where you currently are.

You may save yourself a lot of time and energy searching for a new job simply by giving it a crack and fronting up to your manager.

_________________________

DENIAL & CULTURE

Respect is never gained by pushing others around.

When I was 18 years old, I was working at a Gloria Jeans Cafe in Brisbane. The Manager there would yell and swear at her staff, me included.

She even received a complaint from a customer saying she frightened her and will never return again.

One day at work, I had just topped up the beans, both the normal and decaf. My manager didn't trust that I had done it correctly, so she took a handful of each and put her hands out in front of me. She then asked me which was which.

Now, this may seem like a normal and calm situation, but it wasn't. She was angry. I found this quite intimidating and therefore was unable to think clearly. So, I just kept staring at her hands. Finally someone outside the situation stepped in and answered the question. This ended it for me.

This form of behaviour is actually quite common across many work places. The biggest issue is that yelling and swearing in the workplace is not illegal, so unless Human Resources resolve the issue, there are not too many options available.

Did you know these behaviours have names?

Bullying, emotional abuse, psychological torture, verbal abuse in the workplace.

So, why do bosses behave this way?

I recall my manager saying to me one day that her bosses treated her this way when they managed the store. So, was this her way of excusing her behaviour and making it okay?

I believe she recognised that it was wrong, but I also believe she didn't know how not to do it. So, it was easier for her to live in denial and find excuses to make it acceptable.

The trouble is, her team one by one quit. Many of her staff were young girls who would tense up at the sound of her voice being raised. They would silently and subtly cry hoping she wouldn’t notice.

_________________________

STRESS

Work-related mental health conditions AKA psychological injuries, have become a major concern in Australian workplaces.

How much can one person really take on?

I have seen managers makes so many mistakes and absolutely lose it, simply because they are under a lot of pressure.

If your manager is under a lot of pressure and they are behaving terribly because of this, maybe it’s worth gently letting them know. I would not recommend talking to their superior about it unless you have already tried to address it with your direct manager and they were unwilling to listen.

It is not just you at risk, it is your manager, the company and the team who suffers.

Why it’s important to go to your manager first is, they may be the kindest person in the world when not stressed. They may just need to have it pointed out to them the impact on the team.

They may not be aware of the extent of the problem, or they may even have things going on in their personal life in addition. Who knows if your boss just had their husband or wife leave them that morning.

I am not saying their behaviour is acceptable, but there is a way around addressing it by bringing the issues to light and supporting them at the same time.

Sometimes managers too, need support. Yes, they are our leaders, but they are human beings who rarely get the recognition they deserve. In fact, they are more likely to be criticised than complimented.

_________________________

MISUNDERSTANDING

To be slow to react takes strength and wisdom.

Misunderstandings happen all the time, I would even be inclined to say nearly on the daily. The biggest issue with misunderstandings is, sometimes there are no opportunities to clear them up. Like a misunderstanding with a stranger who you never see again.

They can also lead to major problems, like mistakes at work or office conflict that never gets resolved.

When I began working for a company many years ago, my manager failed to train me on certain things. She ran the show quite differently to other managers. 6 months later, I was transferred to another site, and my new manager noticed that I didn't know as much as I should have.

I copped a lot of flack from her and other staff until finally, we had conversation that helped her realise I had not been told or taught certain things.

This was a defining moment for both of us. Not only did it improve our relationship but it also improved our work life. By learning this, she began to teach me things I didn't know and found that I was actually a pretty good employee. But had she not learned the underlying issue, I would have eventually left.

If you notice your boss is behaving unkind or frustrated toward you, maybe just ask them why. Who knows what information might come to light.

_________________________

POWER

Power is to be used for good, not evil.

I am going to share a little story again, this one i’ll never forget. Earlier I mentioned I was working at a Gloria Jeans Cafe. The Manager set the tone for the Shift Supervisors that they can behave just as poorly.

One shift supervisor, Hannah, was regularly on a power trip. Her issue was that she not only gained no respect from the team but she positioned herself in a place only to be made fun of.

It was getting late in the day and Hannah was checking in that everything was being completed for closing, so she turned to the team and yelled “That dishwasher had better be down by 3pm, OR ELSE!”

Now, if this had have been a big brawly man with a powerful voice, maybe the intimidation tactic may have worked. But not for Hannah.

My colleague Taylor responded with, “Or what Hannah, what are you going to do?”. Of course, the entire team burst out in laughter at poor Hannahs expense. Let’s face it though, she kind of asked for this.

My last manager on the other hand did use his

power and intimidation

to influence his staff to ‘

perform

’. The secret about people who try to use ‘

power & intimidation

’ as a means to getting results, they need to be challenged. Submitting to them is only reinforcing their behaviour.

I rang my boss one day and told him that I didn't appreciate something he had done, to my surprise, he accepted my request to change that behaviour. The issue still was, that although he changed toward me, he continued to behave poorly toward other staff. All but 2 staff eventually quit.

When it comes to finding a solution, I recommend trying to resolve the matter with the person rather than going straight above them. Give them an opportunity to work through it with you rather than making a complaint.

_________________________

Here are 15 steps you could follow to help you determine how to identify underlying issues and how to best approach someone or a group of people in the workplace.

Consider the motivation behind their behaviour.

How is this behaviour impacting on you and your ability to work?

What about their behaviour would you like to see changed?

If they were to make the changes, how could they go about this?

Do you feel comfortable talking to them about the issue?

If you do feel confident having a chat with them, ask them to meet with you for a coffee.

If not, maybe consider asking a third party to be present so you are able to.

Let them know that their behaviour is having an impact on you and your work and ask them why they are doing this.

Whether or not they respond with an answer, remind them that it is impacting you and let them know what you would like to see changed.

Then ask them if they feel this is a reasonable request.

If they disagree, let them know that it’s an expectation of yours to see something change. Ask them what they feel may be more reasonable.

If they can't give you anything. Then there is nothing more you should do here. Document it and take it to your superior or their superior.

If they respond well to your approach, then this is a great opportunity to build a new relationship with someone you possibly never thought you would.

NEVER try to approach more than 1 person at a time.

Make sure to document everything that happened in the conversation and the changes you both agreed to put in place.

[anxiously-unsatisfied-world]

Patton Adoption AU

So, I finally have enough prepared to talk about the AU I’ve been working on! It features Patton being adopted by Logan and Roman (as I haven’t seen anything with him being the child being adopted). If everything goes right (meaning I have three chapters done by my birthday/July 1st (I have around two finished now)), I’ll start posting the actual story Sunday.

But for now, have some headcanons (canons?)/ facts! ^^

Patton Love:

10-years-old

4′5″

Has sandy blonde hair, bright blue eyes, freckles, and is a little chubby.

Loves to learn - is curious about everything

His favorite outfit is the traditional light blue polo, khakis, and a grey cardigan draped around his shoulders.

The cardigan reminds him of a cape and he loves that.

He isn’t super picky about what he wears - unless he’s nervous about some occasion. Then he has to wear his favorite outfit. (Or at least he’ll try to)

Is usually super bubbly and energetic; though he certainly has his moments of being quiet and withdrawn - especially if he’s focused or upset.

He took care of the younger, also bullied kids at the orphanage, taking on their bullying if he could to prevent them from getting hurt.

And thus, is seen as an older brother figure to these kids.

Was bullied for being so optimistic about finding a home despite being at the orphanage for three years - but it doesn’t really affect him all that much.

His best friend is Valerie. She’s the daughter of the orphanage’s owners and thus, he has a good support system with her and her parents.

Her mother would sneak him extra cookies since he’s so close to Valerie.

Is pansexual but hasn’t quite figured that out yet/doesn’t care to figure it out at this point.

Has been in the orphanage since he was seven - when his parents died in a car accident.

Logan Prince:

27-years-old

5′10″

Has dark brown hair, cold blue eyes, a thin and wiry frame.

100% an introvert

Wears his usual black polo and tie - however, it’s not just blue ties. He’ll wear neutral colors most of the time unless it’s a special occasion or Roman wants him to wear a certain one. (this is when he’s out of the house)

At home, he’s a lot less formal - wearing t-shirts and jeans and sometimes onesies (but shh don’t tell anyone ^.~)

Is slightly insecure due to being the ‘gifted’ child when he was growing up. Sure, he managed to keep learning new things and being smarter than his peers but the pressure was too much sometimes.

Majored in chemistry and had to take a year to get his teaching certificate - minored in creative writing/poetry (which surprised quite a few people)

Thus, doesn’t have 100% the best social skills but Roman helps make up for that and is teaching him to better recognize social cues.

Is a high school chemistry teacher - can be seen as strict due to the dangerous nature of the course but altogether tries to make the subject interesting and relevant to the kids.

Plays the piano to relax from a hard day at work - it’s nice to just have no expectations on him for a while as there's never been a day where he wasn’t expected to be perfect.

Will usually accompany Roman when he sings - they don’t usually perform like this but for important enough events, Roman can convince him to.

Is demisexual.

Roman Prince:

28-years-old

5′6″

Dirty blond hair, green eyes, tanned, has freckles, is pretty muscular from dancing/running around at work.

Very outgoing - like so much.

Very stylish clothes most of the time - usually a touch of makeup to accentuate the outfit - not because he’s insecure.

At home, he wears a lot of Disney/theater merchandise - also whenever he’s particularly busy - like the weeks of a production at the theater (which he owns)

Loves to perform whenever he can but will take days off and go sing to kids in hospitals/do performances depending on the day & location. It warms his heart to see them enjoying something that he can so easily do for them.

He is a bit insecure in his skills due to years of being bullied for being a theater geek. Sure, it didn’t affect him much at the time but it has left lasting effects on how he treats his own skill, but Logan’s always there to reassure him.

Is very skilled when it comes to music. He can play several instruments in addition to being skilled at singing and dance.

Majored in theater (as expected by like everyone he knew) and minored in creative writing, which is where he met Logan.

Roman took a gap year - during that time, performing in a few different plays.

They met the second semester of their freshman year.

They started dating in the middle of their junior year.

It was actually Logan to propose - he did so on Roman’s birthday after planning the most romantic day together. (after they graduated)

They got married around six months later and have been together ever since.

Roman is pansexual.

Virgil Sanders:

11-years-old

4′8” but slouches to about 4′6″

Has jet black hair, emo style (duh), pale skin, and ice blue eyes.

Is both bullied at school and abused at home. At school it’s because of his style and at home, it’s because he’s gay (that and his parents are not good people.)

Is very introverted & is anxious around people and in general.

Very thin - almost worryingly so - clothes hang off of him even if they’re supposed to be his size.

Has his signature hoodie. He learned how to sew when his parents wouldn’t buy him a new one and sewed the patches on to protect it from falling apart. Added the white thread for aesthetic.

Has an older sister who managed to escape from their parents. She has promised to come back for him but she’s having a bit of trouble financially right now so she can’t just take on the care of her younger brother. She hates it. She doesn’t want him anywhere near their parents but it’ll have to wait until she’s a bit more stable.

Virgil adores his big sister - she’s where he gets most of his aesthetic from and he trusts that she’ll fulfill her promise. It’s why he puts up with the abuse so much.

Is interested in learning a musical instrument and performing for others - despite his horrible anxiety - but that’ll have to wait. He’s also fairly proficient at dance and is best with fast, intricate movements which he executes gracefully.

Is gay but doesn’t quite feel like that fits 100% (might be asexual or demi but he’s not certain)

So there! I have Remy, Deceit, and Virgil’s sister planned out and I know I want Thomas in this story but he hasn’t been planned just how yet. (this will have sympathetic Deceit in it as a fair warning)

But I’m super excited about this story and will answer any questions you have about it! I’ll try to have the post with the information about the aforementioned characters up on like Thursday or Friday ^^

[aki-chan2014]

The SHSL Survivors’ Society-second generation headcanons

As promised, here it is! Shizuka is included in this list too, but she is of course not my creation. All the other kids mentioned are though, but not all of them have information about them beyond name and date of birth, because there’s a lot of kids here and coming up with that much info is...tricky.

Anyway, enjoy!:

Survivors’

Chieko Akamine and Koutarou Ueda

Shizuka Akamine (surname later changes to Kita), DOB 3rd December 2010. Appears prominently over the course of the story as a six-year-old and has a POV in the final epilogue as a 16-year-old. Shizuka is the first of the second generation, and also has the distinction of being the only one who has a parent who died in the game as well, and because of that tends to feel a greater responsibility for remembering the events that happened and preserving those memories for future generations. She is shy as a small child, but mostly grows out of that over the course of her life-though she remains a quiet sort of person. She is kind, sweet and thoughtful, and adores animals to the point of becoming a vet in her adulthood (as well as helping out at the Towa City Memorial Garden).  She takes to calling her little sister ‘Mushi’ (bug) as an affectionate sort of nickname in the same sort of way Koutarou used to call Chieko ‘Moyashi’, and when she eventually has a child of her own, she names him Koutarou.

Chieko Akamine and Masashi Kita

Haruka Kita, DOB March 13th 2023. Definitely the more extrovert sibling of the two, Haruka is sunny-natured and a little bit of a tomboy, preferring to keep her hair shorter and avoid dresses where possible (much to the despair of her aunt Misa). Though there’s a slightly more parental aspect to their relationship owing to the age gap, Haruka is close to her big sister (even if she gets annoyed at the nickname).  She’s also particularly close to her cousin Hayate (see below) as they’re the same age separated by a few months. She becomes interested in gardening at a young age, and though for her it’s little more than a hobby/pastime, Haruka’s gardening helps Chieko to feel like she’s got that aspect of her life back in some respect and so though she doesn’t directly help out, the mother and daughter bond a lot over gardening.  

Tyson De Guerre and Wakana Abe

Felix Shouta De Guerre, DOB May 26th 2025. As a child, Felix’s speech is delayed and he struggles in school, resulting in him becoming generally unconfident and shy. He looks up to Tyson a lot, and visiting and helping to maintain the Towa City Memorial Garden does boost his confidence, and as an adult he goes to live in Japan, becoming the main gardener/groundskeeper for the garden.

Oliver “Olly” Kanato De Guerre, DOB August 1st 2028. A dreamy, absent-minded sort of person, Olly is always getting into scrapes due to not paying attention to his surroundings or just losing track of time. But he’s so good natured and amiable that it’s really difficult for anyone to ever get angry with him.

Verity “Vivi” Suzune De Guerre, DOB January 14th, 2031. The adored youngest child, Vivi is basically a ray of sunshine in the way her mother was pre-game, though she tends to be more honest with her feelings. She’s pretty proud of her mixed-race ancestry, and always introduces herself by her full name.  Though she is musically and artistically adept, she doesn’t ever pursue either of these things beyond the hobby level.

Akira Kazama

Nanako Kazama (former surname Sawatori), DOB October 31st 2008, fostered January 2020, adopted end of that year. She is streetwise and hot-tempered, and doesn’t trust many people outside of her adoptive family, and the Survivors and their families.  

Yuichi Kazama (former surname Ishi), DOB November 12th 2010, fostered April 2021, adopted March 2022. When he got fostered by Akira he ended up in the same elementary school as Tsubaki Higuchi, and as a result is fairly close friends with both her and Shizuka. He is a bit grouchy and puts on a tough-guy act a lot, but he looks up to Akira in a big way and follows in his footsteps to become a very popular Student Council President in his high school.

Kai Kazama (former surname Takamura), DOB April 5th, 2013, fostered June 2021, adopted same time as Yuichi. A sporty and determined person, Kai eventually becomes a skilled and successful baseball player with a huge fanbase.

  Siblings/Friends etc.

Kazuki Kita (Masashi’s older brother) and Orihime Nanto (Hokuto’s little sister)

(Note: yes, this means that Chieko’s, Masashi’s and Hokuto’s families are all related by marriage)

Daigo Kita, DOB October 9th 2020. Level-headed, sensible and a bit of an old soul, Daigo takes an interest in Café Tanabata from a young age and helps out there a lot even before he decides that he’ll take it over as an adult with the help of his little brother. Given to talking in riddles, especially when he’s annoyed or tired.

Hayate Kita, DOB October 9th 2023. A combination of being impulsive and forever salty about the fact his birthday falls on the same day as his older brother’s, Hayate is more often arguing with Daigo. Luckily, despite this they get on inexplicably well, which is a good thing considering they eventually take over Café Tanabata from their mother and aunt. He’s an extroverted joker type of person.

 Hikari Kita (Masashi’s younger sister)

Kyohei Matsushita, DOB October 12th 2019. Fairly calm, amiable boy who is rather introverted and can end up overwhelmed by his extended family, all of whom he loves dearly. Ends up in the same elementary and middle schools as Athena and Lexie Cain (see below), and the same high school as Lexie, and thus is friends with them.

 Benjamin ‘Ben’ Cain (Erica’s sister)

Athena Cain, DOB October 17th 2017. Cheerful and outgoing like her late aunt, but less intense and generally more thoughtful. Though she takes an interest in mythology due to her name, she isn’t actually all that interested in history (sure, her family’s past interests her, but she hasn’t got the history obsession her late aunt did). She becomes a storywriter and artist instead.

Alexandria ‘Lexie’ Cain, DOB February 21st 2019. A charismatic, attractive girl, Lexie is enigmatic and slightly manipulative but in spite of this (or possibly because of this) she is very popular. She can be a bit prissy sometimes as well, but would put her life on the line for anyone she actually cares about (which is a very few people). She has a crush on Kyohei in high school, but is far too stubborn to admit it because he’s not her usual ‘type’ and she knows too well that he only sees her as a friend.

 Yasu Kazama (Akira’s older sister)

Akiko ‘Kiko’ Shimada, DOB April 25th 2020. The eldest twin by nine minutes, Kiko is academic and driven, but despite this is compelled to become a voice actor like her late aunt. Though never as popular as Hibiki was, she does do quite well for herself, and after a while decides to become a coach for voice-actors.

Akemi ‘Emi’ Shimada, DOB April 25th 2020. Though identical to Kiko, Emi is quieter and struggles academically, and often feels like she is just a pale imitation of her sister and that she doesn’t fit in with her family, despite the fact they do clearly love and value her just as much.  She takes an interest in the Towa City Memorial Garden, and as an adult is one of the people in charge of the funds that help to maintain and organise it, as well as the employment of people who do the actual maintaining and organising.

 Sadao Taneda and Ayame Edano (Noriko’s childhood friend and little sister, respectively)

Airi Taneda, DOB September 30th 2024. Born with albinism, Airi’s birth is what helps her mother and her aunt have a closer relationship, as Ayame often seeks advice from Noriko about how to help her. Unlike Noriko, Airi is never embarrassed by her white hair and indeed likes to learn elaborate hairstyles to show it off, something which eventually leads to her becoming a hairdresser.

Toshio Taneda, DOB June 14th 2026. Quiet, slightly socially awkward, and very intelligent, Toshio basically spends his whole life in education-from being a complete swot in school to pursuing an academic career relating to maths and physics.

Yuuji Taneda, DOB July 7th 2030. Between Airi’s outspokenness and Toshio’s nerdiness, Yuuji finds himself embarrassed by his elder siblings constantly, and tries to distance himself from them in public, but he does love them really, and if anyone else teases them he will be on them like a shot. Indeed, he gets into a lot of fights in school because of defending people from bullies.

 Hitoshi Edano (Noriko’s younger brother)

Isamu Edano, DOB December 9th 2026

Yura Edano, DOB May 24th 2029

 Chikako Ueno (Daisuke’s older sister)

Daisuke ‘Isuke’ Hiraoka (surname later changes to Ikeda with Chikako’s second marriage), DOB February 26th, 2024. Eccentric and slightly flamboyant, this Daisuke actually can play musical instruments, and eventually becomes a professional clarinet player. Isuke is also the classic slightly over-protective brother who scares his siblings’ boyfriends/girlfriends. Also, nobody knows where his nickname came from or why-nobody admits to giving it to him.

Souta Hiraoka (surname later changes to Ikeda with Chikako’s second marriage), DOB August 21st 2026

Rie Ikeda, DOB July 18th 2032

Yumi Ikeda, DOB January 31st 2035

 Shouta Kobayashi (Oshiro’s friend)

Hiroto Kobayashi, DOB May 1st, 2031

 Mio Fujioka (Oshiro’s friend)

Masahiro Fujioka, DOB April 18th, 2032. A devilish, charming prankster, Masahiro is the type of person who just sails through life. He looks for every opportunity to pull off a prank or some sort of joke, and the twin-switch one used to be one of his favourites as a kid-or rather, it was until he decided to pull it on their mother and she freaked out when she realised. Though he’s well aware of the Killing Game and the Despair cult and all that, and that she knew someone who had died there, he’s never probed too deeply into why she had this reaction, as he feels vaguely uncomfortable thinking about all this.

Takeo Fujioka, DOB April 18th, 2032. A little more calm and straight-laced, Takeo is nonetheless a very fun-loving guy who generally enjoys taking part in Masahiro’s pranks, but naturally refuses the twin-switch ones after the reaction their mother had. He takes more of an interest in the past than Masahiro, so he knows more about what lay behind their mother’s reaction, and as it happens, he does pursue becoming a historian as a career because of this.

 Atsushi and Kanade Arata (Kimihiro’s parents)

Hisae Arata, DOB April 6th, 2018. Though very much unexpected and unplanned, she ends up being the thing that puts back together her parents’ marriage, which had been slowly disintegrating under the grief for the older brother she never knew. With a name written with the characters for ‘long time’ and ‘blessing’, her parents have heaped a lot of love on her and are very protective of her, meaning she grows up living a sheltered life. As a result, she is a very sweet, very shy and soft type of person who ends up heavily dependent on others to look after her.

 Tetsuya Yamaguchi (Kimihiro’s friend)

Taro Yamaguchi, DOB February 10th, 2025. He is slightly spoiled because he was the only child his parents were able to have, so sometimes he comes across a little entitled and haughty and coddled. But really, deep down, he’s a good guy, and does well in life. Not stunning or outstanding, but well. He also inherits his father’s whimsical approach to acquiring hobbies, and thus he tends to be interesting company in parties with all sorts of tricks and anecdotes to pull out.

 Ichiro Usami (Shiro’s brother)

Shiro Usami, DOB March 5th, 2022

Akane Usami, DOB April 26th, 2024

Midori Usami, DOB May 30th, 2027

Gin Usami, DOB June 17th 2030

 Yujiko Usami (Shiro’s sister)

Nanae Aikawa, DOB June 18th 2021

Namika Aikawa, DOB September 3rd 2023

Natsumi Aikawa, DOB January 14th 2030

 Zenzo Usami (Shiro’s brother)

Aiki Usami, DOB February 2nd 2023

 Goromi Usami (Shiro’s sister)

Kanon Tajima, DOB August 25th 2025

Kanade Tajima, DOB November 3rd 2030

Hotaru Mori (Hideki’s accquaintance)

Shiki Mori, DOB March 31st 2032. Reclusive as her mother, but probably a bit more practical and assertive, generally speaking.

[vermiculus-incipiens]

OOC INFORMATION:

What’s your name? Alice

Preferred pronouns: She/Her

Timezone: CST

IC INFORMATION:

Character Name: Lily Potter nee Evans

What’s a hobby or pastime that your character enjoys? Lily enjoys working with and making potions.

Do you have any preferred ships or anti-ships? Preferred ship is Jily all day every day. Anti-ship, Severus/Lily. It’s just… I don’t like it. I can’t get behind that ship ever. In my secret heart of hearts, I kiiiiinda ship Lily and Remus, but in this RP she’s married and yeah, that’s not gonna happen.

What do you think your character’s Boggart would be? If their greatest fear isn’t something that could easily take a solid form, what is it? Why? Her greatest fear had already happened: the death of her parents. She had a new fear, though, and when faced with a boggart, she’s faced with her own visage, blood leaking down her thighs, signifying that she’s lost the little one she’s carrying in her womb. This child is a beacon of hope for her, and if anything happened to it, or to her family, she would lose all hope.

What’s your character’s biggest pet peeve? Bullying. She put up with enough of it throughout her Hogwarts years, and had seen enough of it directed at her muggleborn friends and Peter Pettigrew and even Severus that she cannot stand it to this day, no matter who it’s directed at.

What would you consider to be an eccentricity of your character? She’s overprotective. Ever since the death of her parents, she casts protection wards the first chance she gets whenever she goes somewhere new or different. The home she shares with James has every protection ward imaginable cast on it.

What is/was your character’s favorite subject in school? Why? As much as she is teased for it, History of Magic. Being a muggleborn, it was interesting to learn all the things that other kids already knew, and seeing where magical people had influenced different things in the muggle world, and everything they had been involved in. While many other students were falling asleep in their seats, Lily was writing it all down, gleaning every bit of information she could.

What time of day is your character’s favorite? What time of year? Lily likes wintery afternoons. She likes to sit by the window and look out with a good book, the only thing separating her and the chill of the air is the glass of the window. She likes the feel of the wintery seasons, the quiet and the calmness in the air.

What’s your character’s Patronus? A Doe.

What is your character’s biggest vice (bad habit or immoral craving)? Lily’s bad habit is her insane need to prove herself. She grew up as a freak and lived that way until she met Severus, and everything should have been fine, except her sister’s treatment of her kept that niggling little feeling of self-doubt alive, and it only got worse when she got to Hogwarts and found out that she was still the freak because of her blood status. So deep down, despite her kind and understanding personality and her confidence that has flourished over the years, she still has a deep seeded feeling of low self-worth.

Is your character an introvert or extrovert? How well do they handle social situations? Lily is more of an extrovert, really. She’s friendly and outgoing and likes getting to know people. In a social situation, she mostly stays with her husband and her friends, because at this time she’s more comfortable there, but back at Hogwarts she would have flitted from group to group getting to know people and making new friends, especially stopping to talk to the people that looked lonely, because she knew the feeling.

What is your character’s diet like? What’s his or her favorite food? Lily lives good home cooked meals, even if she’s the one that has to make them. There’s just something so pure and wholesome about food that someone has spent a lot of time on, and in her opinion, you can really taste the love. Her favorite food is anything fatty at this point, as she’s craving a lot of fats and sugars.

How do you think your character’s psychological issues have manifested and changed your character up to this point? Shortly after her parents’ deaths, her real issues began to manifest into an overheating guilt that hangs over her like a heavy cloud. She carries the guilt with her everywhere, every place that she goes to and itbsits heavy like a rock in the pit of her stomach. It has changed her by eating away at her optimism; she never really believed that she and her family were untouchable in this war, but the death of her parents and the continued threat that the Death Eaters pose reassure her that nothing is safe. She is obsessive when it comes to protection wards and protective of all her lived ones, even her estranged sister, Petunia, though she will deny it.

Give us a headcanon for your character. Anything is acceptable. When Lily was little, around the time she was starting school at Hogwarts, she entertained the idea of her and Remus as a “thing”, but as she grew closer to him and got to know him more, Remus Lupin became more like a little brother that she needed to protect. In a way, he filled the void that her sister’s distance had created and she’ll be forever thankful to him for that, for letting her site on him the way that she does. Lily brews his wolfsbane potion every month for him to ease his furry little problem. Every month, after the full moon, she sends Remus a care basket to get him through his recovery.

[gravitysanchez-blog]

So it actually took me a long time to compile and draw my basic sketches for this idea, but basically this is my "pilot" idea for a "Sanchez Falls AU". The idea was based off the Dipper/Morty and Mabel/Morticia Easter eggs found in Season 3 Episode 1, and I thought it would be really interesting to explore this dimension. The basic plotline starts off when trying to adjust to a new single life after divorce, Beth sends Morty and Morticia to Gravity Falls to live with their Great-Uncle Ricardo "Rico" Sanchez. Beth hopes the new atmosphere might help them to overcome their depression over the divorce and become more happy again, and when they do arrive they find plenty of distractions. Morticia plans on overcoming her shyness and finding a summer boyfriend, and Morty finds a mysterious journal explaining the many strange things in Gravity Falls. Together, they go on adventures with their cynical yet clever Grunkle Rico, Morty's new crush Jessica Corduroy, and others. In "Not What It Seems", it is revealed that Rico is actually Richard "Rick" Sanchez, and Rico is the mysterious author who came out of the portal. Rico's and Rick's live and personalities ARE loosely based on Stanford and Stanley Pines, but a lot of changes were added. Born in New Jersey, their father was a Mexican pawn shop owner, and their mother a white telephone psychic. Both of them were very strict and expected the best out of their children, so when both Rico and Rick were shown to have large IQ's, they were immensely pleased. Rico, however, was more doted on. This was due to the bullying he faced outside his house due to his extra finger and his willingness to achieve good grades in school and go to a Ivy League as his parents planned for him. Rick, however, was born as someone a little more cynical - he was smart enough to see through the failures of the school system and the so-called American Dream his parents pushed on him. This caused his parents to be a little more emotionally abusive towards him, considering him a "disappointment". Outside, Rico got severely bullied for his nerdiness, extra finger, and the genetic disorder in his family causing grey hair at an early age (Rick was also bullied for this factor). Nevertheless, the two boys were very close and did almost everything together. Rick would always protect Rico from the bullies and other people in New Jersey, and Rico always stood by with Rick at home. They never did share the idea of sailing around the world like the Pines did, but they did have a dream of becoming rich and famous and moving to Vegas. When, later in life West Coast Tech came to inspect Rico's perpetual motion project, Rick tried to show Rico that going to college was pointless and a waste of his time. Rico and Rick got into a huge argument. When Rico claimed that Rick's was foolish and stupid, and that his parents were right to think of Rick as a disappointment, Rick got pissed. He snuck into the school and broke Rico's presentation, exacting his revenge. However, the backlash wasn't pretty, and his father disowned Rick forever for costing their family Rico's success. Later, they would come to regret their actions and wish they could have had their son back. From here, Rico's story pretty much lines up with Stanford's - going to Backupsmore, getting a PhD early with ease, studying his life's work in anomalies, and eventually meeting Bill Cipher. Rick, however, was led down a much darker path than Stanley's. In his desperation to keep himself upright in his homeless life, he struck up a life up in various gangs and mafias, running from state to state to avoid prosecution. This led him to start dealing heroin, and later becoming severely addicted to it. He lived in this hell for quite a few years. He started making a final attempt in setting himself straight once he met Diane Pines, believing her to be the love of his life. He got a job as a salesman, married Diane, and lived happily with her and their daughter Beth. Around Beth's fifth birthday, however, money started to get tight, and Rick was forced to start dealing heroin again. Due to the stress, he quickly relapsed and became distant and generally unpleasant. Diane kicked him out of the house and filed a divorce soon after. Rick was swept back out on the streets. When Rick got the postcard from Rico, six months after the divorce, he was filled with hope that someone was still able to help him, and that he was still wanted. He rushed to Gravity Falls to see his brother. When he arrived, he learned that the only thing his brother wanted from him was to leave again, and in his anger fought with his brother yet again and accidentally shoved him into the portal. And we all know what happened from here - Rick impersonated Rico, and made the Mystery Shack. He decided to cut off heroin and try to be clean again, instead becoming an alcoholic to cope without the heroin. Later on, a year before Morty and Morticia, Beth reconnected with her "uncle", and started a relationship with her "uncle" as her last link to her "dead" father. Morty and Morticia were the first to find out Rico was actually Rick, their grandfather, and when they returned to their mother Rick decided to come back with them and reveal himself as her father. Afterwards, Rico and Rick spend a lot of time in Vegas on vacation. As you can see, Rick is generally more cynical and rebellious, his genius showing more in reading people and seeing through the "system", as well as being used while surviving on the streets. His cynicism grew as his parents became more emotionally abusive towards him. Due to the events in his life, Rick generally adopts the attitude of Rick from "Rick and Morty", due to his cynicism of people and life in general. Knowing Morty and Morticia are secretly his grandkids, however, he does care about them a lot and does his best to be a good grandfather, though it may be unnoticed. Rico, being a little more appreciated at home due to his anomaly, etc., is more positive and believes he can make his mark as a scientist studying anomalies. Everyone outside his family didn't really affect Rico's dreams, for he always had support where he needed it. Nevertheless, Rico still carried a lot of insecurities and fears - more so after being betrayed by Bill and being sucked into the portal. These insecurities made him very introverted and a little harsh towards those not immediate family and friends. Those he cares about are treated with a little more kindness. Morty and Morticia are basically Dipper and Mabel with a heck ton more of social anxiety. Morty, having no friends to hang out with or do anything with except his sister, gears his interests to cool sciency and mythological stuff such as aliens and ghosts. He's not the smartest kid due to his learning disorder, but keeps a lot of passion for these topics. Morticia is like the shy, girly-girl - she's the type of girl who likes pastel aesthetics, and of course has the love for stickers and glitter Mabel has. She knows a little knitting, and on special occasions wears her favorite homemade shooting-star sweater. She, too, has very few friends due to her shyness. She's more regarded as the shy, mysterious cute yet weird girl. When she meets Candy and Grenda, she learns to overcome her shyness and be more outgoing. These hopes can be quickly shattered by Pacifica, however, who does undermine Morticia and gets on her insecurities. So that's the basic wrap of the whole AU. If anyone likes it I do want to draw more for it in drabbles and maybe even short comics if I do get a drawing tablet, one-shots if I don't. But I do want to explore these characters and I kinda admit I'm already starting to love them. (also this is my first time drawing Candy, Grenda, and Soos, so sorry if they don't look so good haha)

[wubble]

I’ve always wanted to die. When I was 2 years old I used to kick my feet out from under myself and land on my head in an attempt to end the pain. My mom called these “temper tantrums”. I know better than that now but at the time I thought I was an insufferable brat. I probably am. At 3 I would pray at night to this strange god my mom told me not to believe in but everyone else seemed really into. The Greek Orthodox churches I’d been to were full of old icons, decorations, and smells that scared me but reminded me how old this belief was. I prayed to die. My prayers were never answered and I knew by 4 or 5 years old that this god was nonsense they told children to get them to listen. I couldn’t understand why the adults seemed so into it but they were also totally into Santa. I never stopped smashing my head into things in an attempt to die but around 10 years old I felt this same anxiety stronger than ever. I was constantly in trouble for losing things or forgetting things at home or bus stops or friends houses. I was grounded for years on end. I raised my baby sister at this point. Mom worked and had a social life so every day revolved around me cooking and cleaning for us to survive and not get killed when the beast came home drunk and angry that something was out of place or not clean enough or one of our Dads called or something we had no control over whatsoever. I kept my sister safe. I started to be as big as my tiny mom but I never hit her back, just took the shit. By 14 I was living with my dad. We were kicked out for “messy rooms” (my sister was 5). My hormones started to effect me at this point and I knew it was probably too late to lead a normal life. I still tried. I was bullied so bad at this school that they played pranks on me at my own house and made a website (in 1999...) making fun of me. I was 90 lbs, recently 5′9, cut my hair off to spite my mom and enjoy the freedom of short hair I was never allowed to have. I also dyed it black and had bangs. I looked awful. Everyone called me Olive Oil and would make puke faces at me as I walked by. They said they could hear me puking in the bathroom during class. I was skipping in fear of being around more horrible people. They said I thought I was cool because I was from Orlando and recording a demo with my best friend. I was doing exactly that, though. I never said I was cool, that’s for sure. Around this point I got heavily into sugar. I ate it so much that I became this hyper nut job with “no cares in the world” (a very bad mask). I was voted most outgoing in my band class. Interesting for a severe introvert, but that’s 9th grade and sugar addiction I guess. My social life kept me alive. I drank a lot, secretly, with my friends. I still wanted to die but I had this belief that if I could stay away from my mom and worked really hard that I’d get a good job and support myself and never have to be controlled again. I’d lead my own life and make it happy myself. This living with my Dad led to a huge legal battle for child support and custody. My mom won, no one ever asked me a damn thing so of course she did. I had to go back to her and both of my parents hated me at this point for being such a disgusting and triggering burden to them. I didn’t see my dad for a couple years - he got married, adopted two step children and had a son. This is when things got really bad. Luckily for me, I was in band, chorus, and theater and I had a 20+ hour a week job where I made good money. I stayed at school, work and friend’s houses as much as I was allowed. My mom continued to go through my things and break all my stuff but it was ok, I’d be out of there soon. She actually kicked me out for wanting to sleep over a friend’s house before I graduated at 17, a blessing I thought at the time. I stayed with friends, got my diploma and a band scholarship to college. I started working full time and got an apartment with my friends. Every financial decision after this was a way for my friends or roommates to steal from me. They all did. I suffered, they did not. This has continued throughout my entire life. My health declined. I was diagnosed with PCOS and pre-diabetes at 21 from my sugar addiction, malnutrition and stress. I’ve never been able to get proper help because I have never had consistent health care in my life even though I had a “fantastic job” for 5 years doing graphic design and production for a publishing company. I haven’t had a steady job since I quit that one... I wanted a raise and instead they kept taking things away and blaming it on Obama so I walked out. This bad decision led to me losing my house, my car, my boyfriend, my friends, my family, and my last bit of a will to live. Six years later, I still want to die. Every single day. It feels normal for me to feel this way. There is not a soul in the world who sees me for who I really am nor anyone I can put an ounce of trust in. My own fiance of 11 years barely knows me. It’s not like I’m secretive or mysterious about my feelings. I talk and talk and talk and try to explain and all it does is make everyone hate me more and understand me less. I give up. I pray for death. I cannot wait. I’m not saying I would or could possibly do it to myself but it doesn’t mean I do not wish for its swift arrival.

[brokenmusicboxwolfe]

On a post where I talked about my nephew (and the difficulties with my brother)

runningbarefootthroughtheforest said: No ideas, just wanted to say Im glad your nephew has someone like you in his life, even if you are ‘banned’ from him. It sounds like you bring sunshine to his life, and even if thats a rare occurence it may make a world of difference to him <3

Thanks for being so kind. 

I wasn’t planning to really reply (thought I REALLY appreciated hearing that), but I was in a mood tonight. I got started writing, and now it’s 2am and I’ve got this endless rambling about my relationship with my brother no one in their right mind wants to hear about. Rather than erase all that typing (and venting) I’m just going to put it safely behind a click to continue....l

Being there for him used to be one of the ways I would make myself go to my brother’s when I knew what was in store for me there. (The other was to help my parents with that construction job building the extension to my brother’s house.) I had my nephew described as “lighting up like a Christmas tree” when I showed up and that he seemed so much more engaged when I was there. I dunno how much I credit that to me, but I did feel like it was worth enduring a heavy dose of verbal abuse. 

The thing is, it has been so long since I have been able to see him I expect he has forgotten me now. I got to see him for a minute over a year ago when took Mom half way to spend time recovering from her hospitalization at their house (I’ve mentioned our living conditions...). He didn’t show any signs of recognition anymore. Yesterday Mom called me while my sister-in-law was out (Mom won’t call me when they are around to avoid ranting) and I could hear my nephew talking to himself as he played, his voice like a little bird chirping. I realized that I have never actually heard him speak in person because he was a totally non-verbal then. I’m afraid as far as he is concerned I don’t exist.

I know people wonder why I was banned from my brother’s house. “what did you do?” Saying, well the first time I was told never to come back I played a Wallace and Gromit DVD. It was so baffling how me playing it in a room alone could get him shouting I was “the most selfish bitch alive” for my choice of DVD, but there you go.

A few months later I did start going back, but that time I tried to photograph my parents beside the house extension we were putting in, and my brother thought I wastaking a photo of him andmy nephew. He hates photos being taken and threatened to smash my camera, started with the insults, called me a coward when I went into the house to get away from him rather than fight, then mocked me when I came  back out rather than wake my napping sister-in-law. I started crying (trying soooo hard not to) and he lay into me for that. I always told my parents not to defend me since it would reinforce my brother’s peculiar “you love her more” narrative and it would make him more vicious, but it made me feel extra alone as he was attacking me, all in my face and snarling like he would get. I muttered “Sometimes I could just  kill you” which was NOT meant as a real threat at all, and he knew that very well. Still he announced I was to leave or he would call the police and he could say I threatened his life.

And that was that. At first My parents and I thought it would blow over. It didn’t. We thought holidays would be an exception. They weren’t. We thought when Pop got sick he would relax about it. Nope. So that’s been that.

The thing is, it shouldn’t be a surprise. For years he’d been saying he loved Mom, loved but also hated Pop, and just hated me. I think partly Pop and are were disappointments to him, like we should be whatever fantasy he had of what we should be and if only he could bully us right we’d change. Pop and I did tend to think alive, where Mom and my brother thought a bit more alike, the basic mental wiring. But it was a way of seeing us, Mom the one who sacrificed (like about getting a PhD) to join Pop here, Pop the person working so many ambitious projects (like the submarine or the journey round the world in the boat) that never actually were finished, and me the smart sister turned utter loser (and college drop out to his multiple degrees). I knew he hated me, and maybe he was right to at least have no respect for such a pathetic creature, but I somehow had managed to believe that down deep he loved me.

You know, when he was a teenager he pointed a loaded gun to my head saying he was going to kill me, and I was totally calm about it. Part of it was the adrenaline, but part of it was a trust that while he was emotionally freaking out and might accidentally kill me, he did not really want me dead. Would I be so fearless now when I no longer trust his love is in there somewhere waiting to be talked down? I dunno.

Now, for the record, my family was NOT physically or emotionally abusive. Heck, my parents never even spanked us. We were never grounded, given time outs or bullied. While my father would break things when really upset, he NEVER, EVER hurt anyone or threatened to hurt anyone. My parents were  confused how sibling rivalry and child defiance of a father could become so monsterous. They wondered what they did wrong. The thing is, it really wasn’t entirely some failing in out part.

Amazingly my brother was an incredibly sweet child. He constantly told us he loved us, gave us drawings he made and wrote “I love you” on, hugged us, kissed us, laughed and ...  He was exactly the opposite of what he is now.

I can track it, the step by step path that led to this point.

It begins at school. When he entered first grade to be precise.

In first grade my brother got good grades, despite my parents questioning whether he was having difficulty reading. The teacher would reassure them that he was doing just fine....and then he failed first grade. When my parents wanted to know what had happened, the teacher said my brother had seemed so smart she had assumed it would work out. **sigh**

So my parents did what you would expect. They started working with my brother. They had always read to us (and I read as long as can remember) but now they started using work books, flashcards, and anything else that they thought might help. To my brother this was like being punished while I was off doing other things, and how he felt about me began to change.

Now I get this bothering him. I was bothered too. I knew my brother needed help, but I also knew they were spending all this time with him but so little with me. No one helped me with my homework, because I didn’t need it. I was “fine”, I was always “fine”. Where as my brother as a toddler would try to run (and made it once!) across highway 64 with all it’s traffic, laughing as we chased him, toddler me (when I couldn’t find my father and grandfather who were working and supposed to be watching me...the place it big) decided to walk home and famously was spotted by people carefully crossing that crazy busy highway and walking back along the side of the road. I was seen as gaving good judgement, bright, blah, blapg. Stephanie is always “fine”. 

The difference is that while I saw the attention my brother got when no one even cared what I did in school, (they even let me sign my own papers because they were busy and knew I was doing fine...I HATE that word fine!) and was unhappy, I didn’t get angry at anyone. I understood, and other than a few bouts of grumpiness at my parents wishing that they would pay atrention to me a bit. But to my brother it was different. He was angry, and most of that anger settled on me because I was “fine”, a sort of feeling he had that I must be loved more since I wasn’t the one suffering.

Then it got worse.

His second grade teacher was horrible to him. She picked on him and bullied him continually. In front of the whole damn class she would called him stupid and mock him. He was NOT stupid! He was dyslexic!

My parents had to work to persuade then to have him tested. This was not even on the radar of out hick town school in the early 1980s. They had to bring someone in to test him, and when it proved the suspicions it proved no help at all. See, the teachers had never heard of such a thing, so to them “dyslexic” meant “stupid”.   They considered kids “normal”, “smart”, or “stupid” with no nuisance at all. And that damn teacher kept at it, more intently than ever.

Worse for my relationship to him, the teacher and her aide had another angle of attack. “He’s not smart like his sister!” Do you know how horrible that is, constantly comparing a kid to another kid? In first grade my tracher had started that, telling the class “Why can’t you all be like Stephanie?” “You should try to be smart like Stephanie” Do you know what that does? It does NOT make the kids you want to change change, instead they glare at that kid you are comparing them to with pure hate. And now the little brother that had loved me, was being bludgeoned with me as a weapon. 

He didn’t tell us any of this at the time. He was far too scared of her. It slipped out bit by bit over then next few years.

One day he hid to try to avoid going to class. I found him and talked to him, trying to be reassuring and comforting. You see, I was having an awful time in school, being bullied every day. I thought, three years older than him, I understood and I was being encouraging when I was saying if I could do it I knew he could. And then I told Pop where he was.

My brother still brings this up as a huge betrayal. It is one of the worst things I ever did to him, though I did it out of love and ignorance.

So it began. My brother’s resentment and hostility. A bubbling rage began to build. He started seeing as opposite, if something was tough for him he would insist it was easy for me. To this day he insists I was popular and happy in school! It’s nuts. Mom laughs at the thought. In that one year in kindergarden I went from so outgoing I spoke to anyone to so introverted I couldn’t make eye contact or order in a restaurant. I went from normal weight to the fattest kid in the class, for the first time in my life started wetting the bed, began to jump at the sounds like someone with PTSD, and would come home crying, begging my parents to tell me why everyone hated me. I was picked on for everything including my breathing! But he didn’t remember preschool me so he didn’t know I’d changed, and he was so lost in his own pain he couldn’t see mine.

And it went like this. Now I am NOT minimizing what he went through. While I had many teachers that openly delighted whenerever I made a mistake and, bafflingly, saw me as some sort of threat, clearly what he went through with that teacher was worse.

Let me be clear again, my brother was NOT stupid! He was one of the top five students by graduation, in college he studied chemistry where he was the only undergraduate working on a project, one a national prize, and after getting his degree went right back to get a degree in computer programming. He could very well be smarter than me!

But elementary and high school were hell. For both of us, to be honest, we just manifested it differently.

 I can only imagine the constant “she’s smart, you’re not” pressure he was under. I know even as an adult his default when upset was to call himself “Stupid!” “Idiot!” Or “Moron!” No matter how often my parents and I tried to tell him otherwise, he never believed us. He was constantly tense and chewed his fingers until they bled. And behind his eyes you could see the pain and rage. He got so he would not want anyone to see him show emotions, even taking his gifts at Christmas into his room to open. He got aggressive and growly, not just in a teen boy way. He would let anyone hug him anymore, not even Mom. We wanted to hug him, we knew he needed a hug, even wanted a hug, but if you tried he’d slug you and leave a bruise. 

With me his aggression just got worse. Violent, not just slugging. Not when our parents were around, of course. Then it was just verbal.  He was disgusted by me. I’d become withdrawn more, fatter, and, as I used to say, “terminally insecure”. Maybe he couldn’t stand my increasing loser status because if I was supposed to “better” than him according to the teachers, then how terrible must he be? He needed me to be better than Inwas, just as he always blamed our parents a bit for not saving him from that teacher, despite the fact they hadn’t known at the time what was going on.

One quick point: what happened to my brother inspired Pop to run for school board right after that. He thought it was the best way to help both my brother and others like him. I think the last straw was seeing that abusive teacher won “teacher of the year” the next year. When Pop asked why they said it was because they were all sorry for her  because just before the vote she has a baby that was born with a serious birth defect. Sympathy is one thing, but “teacher of the year” for a woman that tormented my brother and changed him so completely? In one year he went from loving me to hating me, smiling to scowling, not questioning his own intelligence to never believing in it! So Pop went to the school board, became chairman, and what to you know, the way they treated my brother turned around over night (though how he felt didn’t)! But what about other kids without elected parents?

Anyway, the school years were not happy. Add my brother’s tendency to hold grudges and to lash out when hurt to the target painted on my back by the big mouthed teachers and I became his verbal, and sometimes physical, punching bag. Our parents would be working and he would go into jerk mode. Locking himself in my room to trash it. Calling me the most hurtful things he could. There are still holes in my door from a sword. (Yes, sword. We have a few...) When he would start getting rough I’d pin him, because though we did eventually end up the same height, I was bigger than him. He was skinny and I was just plain stronger. But once restrained, then what? In his rages he would snarl he would hit me when I let go, and eventually I’d have to. My dilemma was I was the big sister, the one that had always tried to protect him and never wanted to hurt him. When I was about 8 I got a blood vessel in my eye busted fighting a bully that was picking on him. I couldn’t hurt him, but when I’d let go he’d keep his promise. As my parents and I would say, he would never pull a punch.

Now my parents would try to get him to stop being such a jerk to me, but it only ever made him meaner. If they were defending me, he semed to think, that must prove they loved me more. They were working and we were on our own, but together out here on the farm, much of the time. Oddly being unsupervised had worked out great when we were little, but as we got older and the relationship got worse it was not great at all.

It’s so weird, looking at old photos. All those happy ones when were little. There isn’t a photo of me NOT smiling until I started school, and there isn’t one where he isn’t smiling and usually hugging me until that year with the teacher. Like OMG! He honestly seemed a different person. By our teenage years there are almost no photos of me smiling, and the few that show my brother smiling are rather threatening. 

We did have one powerful bonding moment one day. We just started talking, just spilling out all the horrible things and bullying we went through at school, that hell hole. We ended up sobbing and just holding each other. It was so intense I actually believed it was a breakthrough, a turning point out of the darkness. Nope. I made that mistake many times over the years.

And yeah, the gun incident happened. I survived, and between that and another incident when he nearly shot trespassers (that had permission we didn’t know about) when scared, I let my folks know I didn’t think he should be around them anymore. It was atypical for the family so it was startling, but his judgement worried me. 

But then came what was the worst turning point for many years. I dropped out of college. It would take a while to explain, but it would make me the sole non-college in the family and the source of shame. It was unforgivable sin. While my brother had given up physical violence (and never hit me again) the verbal abuse got ....unrelenting. How bad did it get? When he would drive home I would hear the car and feel a full on hyperventilate “run away!” panic attack. He’d come home from college and I’d shake at the sound of his voice. I won’t list all the things he said, but it boiled down to my worthlessness.

That said, he still would seem to love and want my company. He asked me to go on trips, like to Germany and Montreal, and despite the fact I would always swear never to travel with him again afterwards. He gave gifts that showed thought, cards, and moments of sweetness would slip out.

Still, I began to notice something else. When things were good, he was wonderful, but when things were stressful he’d get mean. 

Believe it or not, there were a few years I got my hopes up that hehad outgrown it, or worked past it or let go of that childhood rage or...something. He was great, no longer tormenting me. The only teasing was affectionate, without the cruelty. He did little kindnesses, joked, showed concern, and smiled. It was like having the little brother that had been so close to me back. Even at his wedding the two of us kept giggling uncontrollably every time we looked at each other. 

It didn’t last. It took a few years, but it started building up all over again. I expect it was the stress he was feeling with a new marriage to someone with rather set ways ,interpersonal conflict on the job, a new house he’d bought, eventually fatherhood, and the initial denial anything was wrong with the nephew followed by the difficult reality. Then there was the fact that had set in that I was no longer the fattest in the family, but he was...something else to hold against me. 

So the point is, by the time he had a lot of things eating at him. He was having health problems I worried were stress related, that certainly didn’t help his mood. And there I was, unmarried, no kid, only working with Pop not a “real” job as far as he was concerned (HA!), none of the things weighing on him. Clearly, he would assume, my life must be better. That ignores my lived reality, but he always has ignored my point of view. As far as he was concerned I’d somehow cheated. And if my parents let me get away with it, well then, they must love me more.

So he promises to make my newborn nephew hate me. He picks on my continually. When I have a breathing attack and my heart goes nuts, he says to film it if I’m dying so he can watch it over and over laughing. He refuses to help us more than five minutes on the house extension, shouting “I can’t work with you people!!” And on and on. So why did I not see this final break coming? 

He isn’t happy. Even hearing about him through Mom I can tell that. I wish I could help him, but I never could. 

What’s strange is the fact I didn’t feel relieved by the break. Not seeing him meant sparing myself the weekly emotional rollar coaster, the walking on eggshells waiting for the moment he’s have a go at me. Instead I fell apart. I used to never cry, but I started then. I’d have meltdowns over it, thinking my life had hit the lowest it could get...the loss of my brother and nephew.

Of course, Pop started getting sick almost exactly then, and six months later he was diagnosed. It’s all been down hill from there! So I guess when you think you’ve hit rock bottom it might just be a bounce along the rock face as you keep plummeting.

My brother is still furious at me, and honestly I would  apologize whether I feel I did anything wrong or not if I thought it would do any good. But I know him. If I apologize he would take it as proof he was right. He doesn’t do forgiveness, more like gloating and justification for further jerk behavior. I’m not even exactly sure what he would want me to apologize for.

I’ve tried asking Mom for advice, but he baffles her and she says there is nothing I can do. Pop couldn’t help when he was alive either, not only because he didn’t understand it but he was enduring his own continual insults from my brother. I watched Pop sit there sobbing after a phone call with my brother, while Pop was sick but not diagnosed. That makes me angrier than any of the things my brother ever did to me. Apparently, to this day my brother is angry at Pop for not finishing the extension. Well he died damn it!

 The point is, all these experts that lecture how you must go to any length to have a good relationship with your siblings, tell me how the hell I can fix this. All those years of putting up with it, trying to make peace, trying to talk, reflexively saying I was sorry, occasionally arguing back intently and generally enduring sure didn’t help........

[beth-is-trash]

Get To Know Me

1. What’s your first name? Bethany

2. What are you listening to right now? Palette by IU ft G-Dragon

3. What was the last thing you ate? 3 Haribo Strawbs 

4. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? My Mother

5. Do you drink? Occasionally

6. Do you smoke? Never.  

7. What is the first thing you noticed in someone? Shoes and smile

8. What is your hair color? Right now it’s blue and purple, but is naturally a dark ashy brown

9. What is your eye color? Green

10. Do you wear contacts/glasses? Contacts

11. Dogs or cats?  cats

12. What’s your favorite animal? wolves

13. What’s your favorite television show? Right now, it’s probably How To Get Away With Murder, but The Mighty Boost is always a good fall back if I want something mindless/background noise

14. What’s your favorite movie? The Nightmare Before Christmas

15. What’s your favorite band/singer? Dude so many, but anytime I hear Jin’s voice it kills me and I am so proud of him

16. How old are you?  21 (fuck I’m old)

17. Do you have a crush on anyone? Does Jin count? Because it’s been him for the last four years

18. What’s your sexual orientation? Pan

19. What’s your favorite color? Any shade of blue and pastel pinks/purples

20. What was your most embarrassing moment? my entire existence.

21. Do you ever wish you were someone else? I wish I was a better version of myself, because even though I really don’t like myself I don’t know how to be anyone else

22. What were you like when you were a kid? Definitely more outgoing and trusting than I am now, but life changes people

23. What would your dream house be like? Somewhere with lots of natural light and clean, open space, and a really big kitchen

24. What last made you laugh? that ‘onionhasheyo’ post

25. What is your favorite word? hmmmmm... cosy?

26. What is your least favorite word? crusty, when not used in relation to bread

27. What turns you on? Playfulness, affection, good manners  (is that weird?)

28. What turns you off? being patronised, someone assuming that I owe them anything, demanding respect and not earning it

29. What is your star sign? Capricorn

30. What are your favorite books? Anything by Derek Landy, he’s a YA author, but is so sarcastic and actually knows how to write dialogue the way people speak. I highly recommend that you look him up!

31. Do you have any siblings? One older sister

32. Do you like to dance? YES! I’m great at choreoghraped dances but don’t really freestyle (i get super anxious and I’me really self-conscious)

33. What is your definition of cheating? Flirting or texting with intent (sexting, suggestive text, exchanging pictures) and anything physical

34. Have you ever cheated on someone? No. I know how heart-breaking it is to be cheated on. If I lost interest in the relationship or needed time or to get out, I’d just confront it head on. But when I want to date someone, it’s because I can see myself in a long relationship with them.

35. Do you regret anything? so many things, mainly allowing myself to be pushed around by my family.

36. Do you have any phobias? spiders. and death. mostly dying alone. (thanks, psychology teacher)

37. Ever broken any bones? wrist, knuckles, a toe. possibly my nose ( I was really young for that one)

38. Ever come close to death? yes.

39. What is your religion, if any? I float around the Greek system

40. Have you ever been to a psychiatrist/therapist? Not really, but I probably should.

41. Are looks important in a relationship? I’d say initially, yes. Because that’s usually how you become interested in a person, right? But when I get to know more about a person is when I fall in love.

42. Are you more like your mom or your dad? My mother, although I’d rather be like neither of them.

43. What is your favorite season? WINTER

44. Do you have any tattoos? 4

45. Do you have any piercings? ears and nose

46. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? any that I consider serious/lasted longer than 3 weeks? 0 (see question 54 for why none have lasted past that mark)

47. Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character? yup

48. Who is your celebrity crush? Kim Seokjin, Kim Hyoyeon, Lili Reinhart

49. Are you a virgin? No

50. Do you get jealous easily? I try not to be, but abandonment issues, so...

51. What is your favorite type of food? Frozen fruit 52. Do you ever want to get married? I think I’d like to, but it all depends on meeting the right person

53. Who was your first kiss with? some guy in primary school

54. Have you ever been cheated on? yes

55. What is your idea of the perfect date? picnics, fairgrounds, takeout in blanket forts watching movies

56. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? ambivert

57. Do you believe in aliens or life on other planets? yes

58. What talent do you wish you’d been born with? I’d like to be able to sing well.

59. What is your saddest memory? My grandmother dying, she was the person I wast closest to in my family and one of two people who ever supported me. I was 8.

60. Do you believe in love at first sight? Yes

61. Do you believe in soul mates? I’d like to

62. Have you ever dyed your hair? I’ve been dying my hair since I was 13

63. Has someone ever spread a nasty rumor about you? Yeah, several from several people.

64. Would you go against your moral code for money? Let’s be realistic, it depends on the issue at hand and the money being offered. I’m human, after all.

65. What are three things most people don’t know about you?

I mean, there are two people who know about this, but I have an eating disorder

I’m terrified of failure and of falling in love, because I don’t believe that anyone would even look my way

I’m on the verge of a breakdown 98% of the time.

66. Who are you jealous of? anyone with confidence. examples: @questionable-mash and @angelfacehobi

67. Do you sleep with a stuffed toy? no

68. How long was your longest relationship? three weeks

69. Is the glass half empty or half full? half empty, because over time the contents diminishes.

70. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you? Honestly I have no fucking clue.

71. Who are your closest friends? @angelfacehobi, @questionable-mash, @worthyourweightinfanfiction and my friend who lives in Busan

72. Are you in a relationship? No

73. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her? N/A

74. Are you a bad person? I’d like to say no, but I probably am

75. Are you a lover or a fighter? 70/30 l/f

76. What did you do on your last birthday? Had absinthe cocktails and tequila shots then went to work

77. What is your favorite quote and why? Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

78. If your best friend died, what would you do? clear their search history

79. If you had to go back in time and change one thing, what would it be? I would have told my family to fuck off when they bullied me into making decisions that fucked my life up.

80. If you only had 24 hours to live, what would you do? eat

81. What is the strangest dream you’ve ever had? I’ve had this nightmare since I was a child that I’m running through this flat expanse of land that is filled with bridges and I’m being chased by a monster that turns into the material of each bridge it runs under to catch me.  And there was this one time I had a dream that some guy I knew sacrificed me to a horde of zombies for a happy meal on the steps of a tower in a decaying castle.

82. Are you happier single or in a relationship? Probably in a relationship, if I had a decent one.

83. Who were you in a past life? no clue

84. What is your happiest childhood memory? cooking with my grandmother, and my dance classes

85. Have you ever experienced unrequited love? yeah

86. Have you ever had an imaginary friend? yep

87. If you were the president, what would you do? hand power to someone better suited for it and who had ideals I agreed with

88. What is your ideal career? author

89. What is your political affiliation? left

90. Are you conservative or liberal? liberal

91. Is the male or female body closest to perfection? every body that I’m attracted to, this is all subjective

92. Do you like kissing in public? depends on the length of the relationship and the level of said kissing

93. If you could change one thing in the world, what would you change? one thing? make abortion legal everywhere.

94. Where would you like to live? Korea and I have plans.

95. Where would you go on your dream vacation? Korea, Japan, Bora Bora and I’d definitely go back to Crete!

96. Describe yourself in one word. wrong.

97. Describe yourself in one sentence. I may not look like it, but I feel very deeply.

Tagging @gigglyoongi, @starwburrycutiepie and @mymisstina ~ let’s get to know each other  better

[midnightfloats]

- Batty’s Information - 

Name: Dana Elizabeth Watson Thorn-Marsh-Stotch-Donovan-Tweak-McCormick 

Other Last Names: Marston, Hargreeves, Ren, Chandler

Age: 9

Birthday: July 19th, 1981

Height: 4’0

Dimension: B998 

Status: Primary Virus 

Blood Type: O-Positive 

Race: Human

Info: Dana Elizabeth Watson is the only child of Zachary and Alice Watson, born on July 19th, 1981. Batty moved to Derry from Yorkshire, England at the start of the summer of 1989. Due to her advanced academic ability, Batty attended the Derry Middle School. Batty mostly hangs out with the Bowers Gang, not knowing they are the notorious bullies of Derry. Batty lives alone with the maids hired by her parents: her father working in New York City and her mother in London. Sadly, the maids are mostly negligent of Batty's needs, forcing her to become independent at a young age. After a fight with her parents, Batty is now attending Derry Elementary School and is in third grade. Batty is still friends with the Losers Club and Bower’s Gang. 

Background Information: Batty was born and raised in Yorkshire, England. At the age of three, Batty began acting in movies produced by the Temple Productions Studio: located in London and owned by her father. During this time, Batty was home schooled by a tutor from Harvard University where her parents wish to enroll her someday. The strain of acting and tutoring began to take its toll on her; she had little free time for herself and few friends her own age. One day in May, Batty had a breakdown on set and was admitted to a local hospital. In June of that year, Batty quit acting and her father moved her to the States as a change of scenery and to manage the Temple Production Studio he had in New York City, a sister studio to the one in England. Batty was moved to Derry, Maine when she was seven years old to live with her Aunt Katherine. Later that June, her Aunt Katherine, who was usually uptight, ran off with her new hippy boyfriend in California, leaving Batty alone with the maids. 

Appearance: Batty has short brown hair that is done up in ringlets. Her eyes are a light brown color. 

Attire: Batty wears a pale pink sailor’s dress with white Mary Janes. In her hair, she wears a blue bow. Batty also wears a pair of Halloween bat wings she got as a gift from her Grandmother. This item is always worn and Batty is never seen without them. 

Personality: Outgoing, a forward planner, intellectual, nice, introverted. Batty is selfless and often donates things. Despite her parents buying her things, Batty does not act spoiled, nor does she feel entitled to her possessions. Unfortunately, Batty has a soft heart, so it is very easy to emotionally wound the child, who is already suffering thanks to her parents. Batty easily loves others, but not as much as her counterpart Dana. Batty picks and chooses who she wants to spend her time with, unlike Dana, who is very open and eager to hang out with everybody. Good natured, silly, friendly, well-mannered, generous, and passive are more of her positive attributes when it comes to Batty as a person. Batty is also lively and engaging but is scatterbrained and often goes off in different directions when it comes to conversation. Despite being scatterbrained, Batty is a perfectionist who wants everything to be perfect. Batty has a very abstract way of thinking but can take things literally at times. Batty is a huge worrier and often thinks she is being a bad friend or doing something wrong.  

Interests: brownies, strawberry shortcake, strawberry and vanilla ice cream, root beer, singing, ballet, tap dancing, playing guitar, her slingshot, cheese, The Beatles, The Ronettes, music, apples, her costume bat wings, bats, baseball bats, taking pictures of bugs, cheesecake, and metal music. Batty does not like tea.  On the guitar, Batty can play Wish You Were Here, Smoke on the Water, Purple Haze, and House of the Rising Sun. On her ukulele she can play I Wanna Hold Your Hand. Batty also likes Ghost Pokemon and has a few. 

Dislikes: Beans, tea, moths, 

Headcanons: Batty is right handed. Batty will not take off her bat wings. Batty can’t swim, Batty is afraid of big dogs and moths, Batty takes pictures of bugs with her Polaroid Camera, Batty is really good at Space Invaders and Pac-Man but sucks at Mike Tyson’s Punch Out. Batty is an actress. Batty has a star in Hollywood. She goes to elementary school and is in third grade. 

- Other - 

 Game Consoles: 

Atari 2600- games: Space Invaders, Video Olympics, Dig Dug, Centipede, Enduro, Donkey Kong, and Pac-Man 

NES- games: Duck Hunt, Super Mario Bros, Mike Tyson’s Punch Out, Rad Racer, Wild Gunman, Bomberman, Kung Fu, Space Invaders, Donkey Kong, and Dig Dug. 

Game Boy (1989):  Tetris 

3DS- Pokemon, Super Smash Bros. 

Favorite Television Shows: Scooby Doo, Tom and Jerry, Looney Toons, My Little Pony, Care Bears, Rainbow Brite (VHS), Strawberry Shortcake (VHS),  The Jetsons, Jem (VHS) 

Instruments: 1959 Stratocaster Sunburst Guitar, Ukulele, 1964 Fender Stratocaster Refinished (pink), 

Phones: DoCoMo SH-11C (pastel pink), MOTOROLA MICROTAC 9800X, a Samsung Core Prime, and a pager. She recently got a very new Nortel home phone with caller ID. 

Television set: Vintage 1986 Toshiba CF306 13' CRT