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shelby-love · 4 years ago

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FRED WEASLEY

Yule Ball Problems

Requested: yes (by anonymous)

Prompts: none

Warnings: none

Word count: 2.2K

Author’s note: I really like this request especially since the fourth movie is one of my favs, so thank you for requesting it! Just like George's one shot, this will be heavily inspired by the movie (I'm essentially putting the reader into the movie). Before proceeding, I highly recommend rewatching these scenes lol!

Gryffindor practice for the Yule Ball

Fred asks Angelina to the ball (obviously we're pretending it's George who asks her <3)

It was fairly rare to have the Gryffindors sit together in a room mastered by the head teacher. Nevertheless, the entirety of Gordic Gryffindor's current house members has gathered in the spacious room, a million things running through their minds.

McGonagall looked fierce as she appropriated the room like something very serious was going to happen.

Your thoughts seemed to be correct as she whisked her wand in the air, pulling you away from your boyfriend to stand on a completely different side of the room.

You frowned, Fred did too. He was just about to swoop in and kiss you.

"D-did she just?" You asked puzzledly, not quite believing your luck. A couple from seventh year were eating each other's faces in the corner, but she picked you and Fred instead?!

"Yeah," Hermione mused, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. "I think she did."

Fiercely blushing, you sat back down. "I cannot believe my luck."

"What do you mean?" Hermione asked. She herself has been appointed to stand with the girls on the other side, leaving her two best friends to themselves and the boys.

"This is the sixth time she has caught us," you told her, catching Minerva's eyes in that exact moment. You wouldn't be surprised if the woman heard you; she is a cat most of the time, and cats have significantly better hearing than humans do.

"The Yule ball has been a tradition of the-" Professor McGonagall attempted although her words were cut by Flinch as he plotted around the huge record player. "-Triwizard Tournament since its inception."

She shared nothing new.

So, what is she on about?

You glanced at your boyfriend, knowing which one out of the two he is immediately. Fred laughed with his twin about Merlin knows what, picking at Ron in the process. You shook your head, focusing your attention back to your head teacher.

"On Christmas Eve night," she continued, slowly walking in a straight line across the floor. "we and our guests gather in the Great Hall for a night of well-mannered frivolity."

Ginny leaned her head against her shoulder, getting bored. You smiled at the act, deciding to share her enthusiasm by mimicking it.

After a while of being stuck in a singular position you had decided to place your chin on the top of her head instead.

"As representatives of the host school I expect each and every one of you to put your best foot forward, and I mean this literally because the Yule ball is first and foremost..." The dreaded sentence was coming. You could see it in her facial expression. "A dance."

Ginny's head flew up suddenly, banging against yours so hard you had to hold your jaw in pain. "Oh Y/N, I'm so sorry!" she squeaked, palpably petrified with what she has done to her older brother's girlfriend.

"No, no," you waved your hand, testing your jaw by moving it in circular motions. "It's alright Ginny."

"But what if it gives you a bruise?" She asked frightened. "The ball is just around the corner!"

Your eyes widened at that and before you could soothe the girl, Hermione had butted in. "She'll be fine Ginny. Besides, Fred is so smitten by her he genuinely won't care."

"True," you added in agreement, holding your chin after wrapping your free hand around the smaller girl to cheer her up. Ginny calmed down and returned to her bright, usual self soon after.

The quick accident helped you better ignore the agonizing groans of the boys that generously outmatched the giggling. While most of the girls, including yourself, enjoyed the aspect of dancing with a gentleman, the boys didn't like the thought of becoming one so much.

You searched for Fred's eyes the second you could, finding him already looking at you from afar. He was quick in mouthing an 'Are you okay?' and pointing to his own jaw for better explanation.

You nodded but still mouthed an 'ow' for dramatics sake.

Fred knew his little sister's strength, but he also knew your pain tolerance and that made him less concerned. Fred then sent you a wink accompanied by a wicked grin of excitement. Being a couple played in your favor excellently.

Most of the girls feared being partnerless at the ball, so you felt very content with yourself. You secured yourself both an escort and a dance partner by just loving a boy that was able to be serious if you ever asked him to be.

"Silence!" McGonagall raised both her hands in the air, "The house of Godric Gryffindor has commanded the respect of the wizard word for nearly 10 centuries."

She then continued, "I will not have you in the course of a single evening besmirching that name by behaving like a babbling bumbling band of baboons."

"Babbling what now?" You asked in amazement. She was very creative with her words; you give her that.

From the corner of your eye you saw your boyfriend monkeying around with his brother, staying true to his teasing nature by making fun of McGonagall's words.

"Now. To dance is to let the body..." She took a deep breath as she said that, "...breathe. Inside every girl a secret swan slumbers, longing to burst free and take flight."

Fred's younger brother, Ron, decided to take that inspirational moment to comment about Eloise Midgen, a girl that was sitting very close to you, Hermione and Ginny. You shook your head, not liking his comment at all.

McGonagall heard it but finished her sentence nevertheless, saying something about boys having a lion inside of them. "Mr. Weasley."

Ron looked at her through a fringe of red hair, "Yes..."

"Would you join me, please." She was already by his side as she said that.

"I'd dance with that woman anytime." A girl from your year mumbled, creating quite big hysterics of agreement among the girls. You started to laugh, Ron's face and the girls' comments becoming too much for you to handle.

Ron on the other hand sat awkwardly and glanced around the room in which his housemates were all eagerly waiting for his slip, panicked beyond comprehension. Even Harry who had his arm bandaged due to being an actual contestant in the Tournament, eagerly pushed him up with his healthy one.

McGonagall had Ron in her vise hold. The poor boy couldn't go anywhere without making a complete fool of himself. The music started to play, and Fred and George were loving the sight in front of them as they kept throwing in whistles and remarks that made everyone smile. A years' worth of teasing material had just appeared without them doing so much as moving a finger to make it happen.

On the other side of the room, you weren't breathing. Literal tears formed in your eyes when Ginny made a joke on Ron's account.

"Everybody come together! Boys on your feet!"

You had coughed up your laughter immediately, although the giggles seemed to be a permanent thing. You stood to your feet and dashed across the room for Fred after hearing a fifth year tell her friend how she was going to ask him to partner up.

You leaped into his arms, relieved to have snatched him before anyone else could.

"Woah there, love," Fred mused, placing his hand on your waist like Professor McGonagall had instructed. While teasing his younger brother, Fred managed to pick up the essential parts of the dance because he didn't want to tramp all over your feet and have to carry you to Madam Pomfrey. "Thought I'd leave you hanging?"

Although Fred didn't mind hoisting you up into a princess-carry and acting out a heroic save, he was, quite frankly terrified of the wrath you would unleash on him if he was the reason you wouldn't be able to wear your heels to the ball.

"Actually," your laughter broke down as you two started to dance in steady pace around the room. "I didn't want you to partner up with someone else."

Genuine confusion crossed his features after that, "Come again?"

"I heard several girls talk about how they're going to ask you partner up with them," you mumbled just as the tune changed and he swiftly helped you twirl before pulling you back so you were flush against his chest. "Are you sure they weren't talking about George? He actually-"

"Is your name Fred?" You cut him off.

"Yeah..."

You gave him a look that said well-there-you-go.

"If it makes you feel any better," Fred whispered, voice raspy as he gripped your waist and pulled you against him as if you weren't already glued together before. His mouth slowly found its way to your neck and you shivered under the proximity. "I only have eyes for you."

You didn't get to enjoy the moment as you heard Ron scream, his lust for sibling revenge overtaking. "Professor, Fred and Y/N are snogging! It's kind of disgusting, actually!"

"Mr. Weasley! Miss Y/LN!"

"Not again!" Fred and you said simultaneously.

***

You sat in between Fred and Neville in the great hall, working mostly with Fred on an essay Snape had assigned for you during this study session. You talked quietly with Neville while at it too, sharing deep compassion as you helped answer some questions he had for you about Herbology, keeping professor Sprout out of your mouth as much as possible. You didn't want Snape to find out you were talking about a subject that wasn't his.

Ron's muttering was very much loud as he kept going on about how depressed he was. "Well maybe you should just get yourself a girlfriend then. Like me." Fred whispered proudly, eyeing Snape who was walking around the hall like a soldier.

You mimicked Fred's smirk and turned to Ron, "It's not as easy as it looks."

"Getting a girlfriend, you mean?" Ron said, his face falling into an ever deeper frown when you nodded. "Bloody hell... How is that supposed to help?"

"It isn't," you told him. "Fred's just speaking nonsense. Don't listen to him."

Your boyfriend just grinned, slinging his arm over your shoulder but taking it off as soon as Snape glared at it. You swallowed a bubble of laughter that threatened to slip past your lips.

Out of the blue, George scribbled something on a piece of paper, folding it and throwing it at Ron, apparently not trusting his voice to say whatever he wanted to out loud.

You watched as Ron read it through, turning to your boyfriend, the quill in your hand now long forgotten. "What did George write?"

"Get a move on or all the good ones will have gone." Fred whispered, pressing a kiss to your temple as proof to you that he took no part in that message.

"Good ones..." you muttered mockingly. "Pig."

Fred laughed, stuffing his mouth into the sleeve of his shirt to muffle it. He then turned to his brother and told him what you thought of his message. George leaned behind Fred to scowl at you carefully, so Snape doesn't see.

You both stuck out your tongues to each other like kids at the same time and while you returned straight to work, the younger twin continued to converse with Ron. Eventually George threw a paper ball at Angelina and you watched as the paper ball flew past your eyes, missing you by a millimeter. George had made a good shot as the paper ball bounced off Angelina's body. It urged her to look at George as he acted out the question, "You want to go to the ball with me?"

Angelina nodded, surprising you.

"Seriously?" You asked your close friend.

"What?" She shrugged, "He's cute."

Your raised brow catched Angelina off guard. "And funny..."

"As long as you don't mistake him for Fred," You whispered, "I support it."

Fred chuckled next to you.

"I won't be going alone because believe it or not someone asked me!" Hermione exclaimed, most likely because of Ron. You weren't paying attention to either of them, only starting to do so when Hermione stormed across the hall to Snape and handed him her finished assignment. She turned to grab her things whilst putting Ron in his place. "And I said yes!"

"Please don't tell me Ron asked her to the ball as a last resort," You sighed once Hermione disappeared behind the doors.

"I'm afraid he did, love," Fred answered.

You shook your head at Ron in disappointment, "Fred, did I ever tell you how much I'm grateful for you?"

Fred's smile intensified as he shook his head. "No, I don't think you did."

For that, you listened to your gut and grabbed him by his red Gryffindor tie, pulling him to you until your lips connected. Unfortunately, the kiss lasted for only a second due to Snape crawling around the place like the snake he is, but the brief kiss still left you breathless. Left you wanting more. "Want to get out of here?"

"Mhmm," you said with an eager nod of your head. Your brain was mushed and you only had time to whisper to Neville where he could find the answers about the Bouncing Bulb he's been desperate to find more about before Fred pulled you to your feet and grabbed both your stuff. In return, you collected both Fred and yours assignment and stuffed them into Snape's arms. "Have a lovely day, Professor."

"As I said Ron," Fred said smiling, glancing at you and Snape. "Better go get yourself a girlfriend…before the good ones are taken."

"I think the bloody best one is taken already," Ron mumbled with a pout, every male close to him responding in agreement.

Fred winked at them all, a winning smirk plastered on his face as he grabbed your hand and eagerly pulled you outside to do whatever your hearts desired in that moment.

MASTERLIST

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earthfire-75 · 3 years ago

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Kashmir

Chapter One, Part Two: Kashmir (The Trick is to Keep Breathing)

Author’s notes: co-written with @nature-and-music , beta-ed by @lady-jane-revisited

A lopsided smile tugged at his lips, “I’ll get them for you.”

“No thank you Robert, Grant gave me the money and I’ll pay for it.”

“Oh please, just one of them then?”

I shook my head, “No it’s fine. Besides, we need to head back.”

He pursed his lips and huffed, “Alright, if you say so.”

The purchase was completed and it was time to head out, however Robert was speaking to the woman behind the counter; or flirting no less. She nodded her head and wrote something down on a note by the dresses that he brought to her.

“Thank you darlin’, have a pleasant rest of your day.”

I chuckled, “Giving her the number to your hotel room?”

“Not exactly, Anjelika. Come on we better hurry, the party’s going to start soon and you still need to do your hair and makeup,” he informed.

Somewhere along the line, we lost the other three band members. Robert took me to the hotel they were staying at, figuring they would all meet up there anyway. He let me borrow his bathroom to change and do my hair and makeup.

“What kind of party is it? Formal or informal?”

“Well, I’m wearing a suit, if that helps?”

I rolled my eyes. “Ok.” I picked out the longer dress and started getting ready. I could hear Robert rummaging around in the other room and assumed he was doing the same. I just finished when Robert knocked on the door.

“I need the mirror, love. Gotta comb out my hair and beard.”

I flung the door open, grabbing the comb from the counter. “Don’t you dare take a comb to those curls! Tell me you have a pick.”

He swallowed. “Technically? I left it at home?”

I didn’t say anything else, but grabbed his hand and pulled him out to the common room and to the couch. I then sat, pulling him down next to me. It was then I noticed what suit he was wearing, and still with his beard. Fuck! He wasn’t yet wearing the jacket, but he had the vest on and the top two or three bottoms of his shirt were left undone. Now it was my turn to swallow hard as I leaned in with the comb to fix his beard. Then I started to run my fingers through his hair carefully.

“If you forget your pick again, use your fingers, not a comb or brush. You could ruin your curls otherwise.”

“I’ll remember that.”

“Good. Now, we should probably get going.”

We both stood and, as Robert grabbed his jacket from the arm of the couch, we left the hotel room and headed downstairs. “The party is being held in the hotel restaurant,” Robert informed me.

At first, the party seemed more like a meet and greet with the other roadies and their tour manager, who seemed unimpressed that I was “some bird” Jimmy picked up off the street. But none of the boys were having it. Robert happily reassured the crew that I was indeed more than “some bird,” that in fact I was assigned to be a part of the touring as well. To be equipped with the behind the scene matters and the roadies would simply need to learn to live with this sudden change. Being the new kid in town was never easy, and I was feeling beyond self conscious about this, however I had to keep my intrusive thoughts at bay. New learning opportunities would be coming up and it was all a matter of learning the ropes. Even if a fair amount of the crew thought of me as another to be shared among the members of the band, especially with Robert since he had locked arms with me.

The party started off fairly quiet at first as we all sat down at our tables to listen to a congratulatory speech from Grant. He had nothing but high expectations for everyone involved and that this tour would be bigger and heavier than the previous one. I felt a hand touch my lap and I followed the arm to see Robert’s concerned expression. I gave him a little smile to reassure him that I was alright. The last thing that I needed to do was interrupt Peter in the middle of his talk, and right before my first day no less.

A line was formed as everyone made their way to be serviced by the chefs. All manner of succulent cuts of meat, freshly cooked fish, bubbling champagne, and assorted hors d'oeuvres were ready to be served. Everything looked so delicious and oh so appetizing, I just simply couldn’t believe my eyes. As we stood in line, I overheard Jonesy and Jimmy mention something, although it was hard to hear amongst the chatter of Robert talking to Bonzo.

“How do you suppose they’ll feel about touring?” Jimmy asked.

Jonesy shrugged, “Well, hopefully their antics won’t take away from the show. And your guitars won’t get demolished as well.”

Jimmy scowled, “If he even thinks about touching any of my guitars, I’ll bash his head in!”

“If you do, she’ll end up giving you a black eye. You know that she has a bit of a ‘short’ temper,” the bassist chuckled. “Besides, I wouldn’t worry about it.”

“Well you're the bass guitar player, none of your things will be obliterated,” Jimmy whined.

Bonzo joined in, “Not unless a certain someone decides to shove a cherry bomb in the strings.”

Jonesy smiled and rolled his eyes, “Well I suppose I’ll just need to stand close to Thunderfingers won’t I?”

Guitars being destroyed? Cherry bombs? My curiosity peaked, however I didn’t want to interrupt their conversation. At least not until I knew a little more of what or who they were referring to. We made our way to the table and enjoyed our delicious food and sparkling drinks. The champagne flowed like rain down our throats as the appetizing meals made our mouths water. A few questions were directed to me regarding how I was feeling about the new job and I answered honestly.

I smiled meekly, “Well I’m very excited about this. This is going to be something different for me for sure, but I’ll do my best.”

“You will darlin’, you will,” Robert smirked as he patted my hand. “So how long have you been playing and singing?”

“Well, for a while actually. I just picked up a few lessons from my dad and just… learned a bit on my own.”

Jimmy noted, “I did a bit of session work when I was a lad. Learned a few things myself along the way.”

Robert butted in, “Well I hope we can hear more of your singing and playing while on tour. I think you’ll sound wonderful, and the audience will love it.”

I felt myself clam up a bit at the prospect of playing before a live audience, even though it was a touching notion on Robert’s part. I didn’t think it was necessary to get myself even more involved than necessary, especially since a fair amount of the road crew weren't exactly pleased with me being here. I gave Robert a little smile and a shrug and let him know that we could put that idea on the back burner.

“I’m curious though…who were the three of you talking about earlier? You mentioned something about guitars being destroyed?” I asked. I had hoped they would have said more by now, but since they hadn’t and my curiosity was getting the better of me…I had to ask.

Jonesy laughed a little. “Interesting wording. We were talking about another band who will be touring with us. Interestingly enough, they are called The Who. They’ve got a habit of destroying their equipment. Jimmy was concerned it might spill over to ours as well.”

I know of them, of course and of that particular habit, though I had thought they had stepped doing so by this time. Then again, it's a different universe, likely also a different timeline. “I see,” I said instead. Looking at Bonzo, I got his attention. It was as good a time as any to talk to him, but I didn’t know what the other boys knew.

“Bonzo? Can we talk? Alone?”

“Uh, sure. Looks like there’s a spot at the bar surprisingly clear of people.”

We got up from the table and walked over to the bar, ordering ourselves a drink before I started the conversation, but Bonzo beat me to it.

“So…yer a Nightbane too?” He asked with such nonchalance.

“Yeah, I am. So are you. Do they know?”

“Yeah, they do. Rob found out first. He was there during my Becoming. Scared the daylights out of ‘im, but it was like he still knew it was me. Jimmy found it ‘fascinating’. Jonesy took it the worst, almost left the band when he first found out. But he came around.”

I nodded in acknowledgment and downed my drink. How did the fact that they all knew Bonzo was a Nightbane make it both a relief and up my anxiety about them finding out I was one too? Would they be able to accept the creature beneath as easily as they had with Bonzo? Granted my other form wasn’t monstrous in the traditional sense, yet, I still worried it would scare them off at best.

Bonzo smiles a little. “Don’t worry, Jonesy might freak out a little, but I really don’t think you need to worry about Rob and Jimmy at all.”

“Thanks, Bonzo.”

Someone cleared their throat behind us and we turned to see Robert. “Sorry to interrupt your conversation, but the other bands just showed up. I thought you might like to meet them, Anjelika.”

He stepped to the side and I found the members of The Who standing there, looking at me. I knew each of them by name and face, even as they introduced themselves, though I did a double take as my eyes landed on the shortest member. There, with the same blue eyes I had seen so many times before, was a very feminine looking Roger Daltrey. Now I know I’m not in my own universe…

“Rogina Daltrey,” she introduced herself to me, her blue eyes never leaving mine.

“Anjelika,” I responded back with a smile and she in return gave me a smirk.

“Bonzo!” Keith uttered, a drink in one hand as he hugged his fellow drummer, “You gained a few stones since last I saw you.”

Bonzo rolled his eyes as he chortled, holding his head in a strong arm grip. Keith complained that his champagne would fall out, but that didn’t stop Bonzo from treating him like a sibling. “Moonie, why don’t you and the lads say hello to our new friend here, yeah?”

John and Pete made their acquaintances, Keith was able to give her a little wave of his hand until Bonzo finally let him go and gave him a good slap on the back.

“You’ll have to excuse Keith, he’s a bit loonie as you can see,” Pete explained. “So what brings you here?”

“Well I’ll be going on tour with the band, and it looks like I’ll be seeing you four as well.”

Rogina interjected, “Is that right? What will you be doing?”

“A roadie, so I’ll be around helping with getting everything ready,” I mentioned.

“She might even do a bit of performing as well,” Robert mentioned proudly.

I was silent as The Who stared at me, my throat becoming dry. I tried to play off his comment as a joke, “Good one Robert. He’s just kidding-”

Rogina tilted her head as she looked at me, “Are you sure? Because if you can sing, we’d love to hear you.”

My heart was pounding, all I could give her was an unsure shrug, “Um, another time… maybe. Say why do you all go get something to eat, the food is very delicious here.”

Keith was already off to find himself a plate, with John closing in behind him. Pete kept himself occupied with discussing business matters with Jimmy and Grant. Rogina on the other hand decided to stay and talk a bit more. Everything about this Roger was pretty much the same: The height, the golden corkscrew curls, ocean blue eyes, toothy grin, muscular arms, and stylish clothing. Still it was odd speaking with her, considering the obvious factors such as a slightly higher register in her voice and the presence of breasts that protruded from her suit.

“So how did you manage to work with Zeppelin?” Rogina asked.

I tried to answer as best as I could, “Oh well… you see Jimmy let me know that a spot was available actually.” I wasn’t sure why I couldn’t tell her that Jimmy had found me like an abandoned cat in an alleyway that he felt sorry for. A little of me to say, but still I couldn’t seem to add that in.

“Is it true what Robert said about you performing? I mean you seemed awfully quiet when he brought it up.”

I sighed at the question, barely keeping myself from pinching the bridge of my nose. “I’m quickly learning that Robert's a little like a puppy…very excitable. I played a little bit for them to prove that I know what I’m doing with the guitars. Something came over me and I sang a little bit too. I never agreed to playing in front of anyone else. Let alone in front of a huge audience.”

Rogina’s smile softened at that. “He really is, though I’m sorry to hear you won’t be playing. The offer is always open and I meant what I said, I'd love to hear from you. if you change your mind.”

I returned her smile and I knew I was going to love this version of Roger too. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

G made his way over with a couple other people, one looked vaguely familiar, the other I didn’t recognize. “Anjelika! I want to introduce you to Ahmet Ertegun, owner of Atlantic Records. He’s here to support the boys. And this is Alice Cooper, joining us on the American leg of the tour.”

Both men stuck a hand out for me to shake. I took Ahmet’s first who placed his other hand over mine gently. “I must thank you for joining the road crew, dear. Though, I must admit, I was shocked to hear you were a woman. Forgive me, I mean no offense, it’s just never been done before.”

I smiled at Ahmet, trying not to take offense. It may be a different universe, but apparently the ‘70’s were still the ‘70’s. Turning to Alice, I shook his hand next, barely recognizing him without the makeup.

“I don’t know if shocked is the word I would have used, but I guess I am a little surprised. Didn’t figure I’d see a female roadie for another decade at least. Don’t get me wrong, I love that women are getting more and more involved in rock. And if anyone gives you any shit, just say the word.”

My smile grew wider at Alice’s genuine words. “Thank you, I appreciate that. Though, I assure you, I can handle myself.”

“I’m certain you can, but the offer is still on the table. I would like to stay and get to know you a little more, but I need to get back to my girlfriend. It was nice meeting you, Anjelika.”

“I’m sure there will be time to get to know each other more on the road and it was nice to meet you too.”

“Fair enough. See you tomorrow, then.” And with that he was off. G and Ahmet soon excused themselves to go talk to the boys and I was left at the bar once more with Rogina next to me.

Rogina sighed, “I know this must be all new to you. Believe me that being a woman involved in rock and roll seems to weird people out, especially guys.”

I gave her a reassuring grin, “Yeah, I’m sure you probably have gone through a lot.”

Rogina took a sip of her flute, “I may have a few stories. One of them involves Keith actually.”

I leaned in, “What happened?”

“Well let’s just say he thought that he could get away with copping a feel. He lost a couple of teeth that night,” Rogina chuckled. “The bastard will never live that moment down.”

I wasn’t sure if I could share a laugh with Rogina, even though she was able to find humor in such a terrible situation. All I could muster was a nervous smile and a nod.

Rogina took another sip of her champagne, rested her head on her palm, and pondered, “So is this your first time working with Zeppelin?”

“Yes actually. And I hope that I’ll do alright while on tour,” I admitted.

“I think you will,” Rogina claimed with a warm smile. “So what would you like to drink? The champagne is alright, but I think I’ll get a whiskey instead.”

I was taken aback, “Oh well… a beer sounds good.”

Truthfully, a Nightbane could easily drink any of these mortals under the table. As to how I would do against Bonzo, a fellow Nightbane, well that would be a matter for another day. Still I was grateful knowing that Bonzo could understand, and hopefully the remainder of Zeppelin, Who, and Cooper would as well. However it was too early to let the rest of them know. In time I would say something, only when the moment felt right.

As we waited for our drinks, I felt a strange looming presence behind me. My throat went dry the moment I turned around to see John Entiwistle, the Ox himself, towering over the two of us. Rogina on the other hand casually remarked, “I thought you were supposed to be babysitting our dear boy.”

“Well quite frankly I need a break from him,” John mentioned with a deep chortle. “I think as long as nothing blows up tonight, he’ll tire himself out eventually.” He gestured to the bartender and asked for a glass of cognac.

Rogina nodded and asked him, “Where did Pete go?”

“Probably talking some poor bastard’s ear off about Lifehouse,” he laughed.

“Oh come on John, the man just wants to share his work to the world,” Rogina noted.

John leaned in towards me, “She says that, but even she gets tired of his songs about teenage angst.”

Rogina scowled at him, “I do not.”

John raised his eyebrows, “Keep telling yourself that Rog. It was Anjelika right?”

I nodded, “Yes John.”

He responded with a handshake, “Pleasure to meet you.”

“And you as well”, I responded with a return of his handshake. “I take Keith's handful?”

Rogina and John laughed. “That’s putting it mildly some days.” John admitted.

“I swear the man can’t not cause trouble in some fashion or another for even a few hours.” Rogina adds.

“I think there’s some unspoken rule that drummers are all crazy,” I chuckled.

“That explains everything, actually.” John said with a chuckle of his own. Rogina just shook her head.

I looked up to see the time on a clock on the wall. Midnight. Where had the time gone? “I should head up to get some sleep, I want to be up early to grab a few things I forgot earlier today from the drug store across the way. Besides, I’m assuming the roadies will be up earlier than the bands to pack up the buses.” Downing the last of my beer, I shook John’s hand again. “It was nice meeting you.” I set the empty bottle on the bar and left a few bills before turning to Rogina. “Thank you for the beer.”

She surprised me by pulling me into a hug instead of giving me a handshake. “Any time. And I’ll add to what Alice said earlier. Anyone gives you any trouble, let me know, I’ll kick their ass.”

“Thank you. But I really need to go.” With that I went to find G to figure out where I would sleep tonight. I found him still with the boys, though it appeared that Ahmet had left. I explained to G that I wanted to get to bed and why, but it was Robert who interjected.

“You can stay in my room for tonight,” Robert offered. “The rest of your things are still there from earlier.”

I had forgotten about that. Hesitantly I nodded in agreement, even if I was worried about what the other roadies, especially Cole, might say. “Alright, as long as this doesn’t become a habit. Just for tonight.”

I could see the disappointment behind Robert’s eyes, but he agreed. “Here, take my key, just leave the door unlocked so I can get in later.”

Nodding, I took the key and thanked him before heading upstairs to the room, getting as comfortable on the couch as I could.

@brownskinsugarplum76 @m-faithfull @jimmys-zeppelin @lady-jane-revisited @firethatgrewsolow @salixfragilis @timetraveller4 @callmethehunter @tremble-and-shake @tophats-n-lespauls @princesspagey @tangerine-page

#led zeppelin fanfics #robert plant fanfiction #the who fanfiction #roger daltrey fanfiction #fem!roger daltrey #alice cooper fanfic #robert plant x reader x roger daltrey #no smut #yet

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natromanxoff · 4 years ago

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I am sure many of you have already read this one but here are some parts from Ash Alexander’s Queen journey for those who haven’t!

“...At some point in early At some point in early 1983 on a visit to Jacky at the QFC, John Deacon wondered into the office. He came into the basement office and said hello as Jacky introduced me, sat down and spent a little time reading through press clippings. He could easily have slipped away back upstairs, but the fact that he stayed was a nice touch.

Another fan club letter arrived with good news. In Another fan club letter arrived with good news. In November 1983, fan club members were invited to help in a video for the new single 'Radio Ga Ga' at Shepperton Studios. Again, my Mum stepped up and drove me down for the day. I took the day off school and had just turned 14. We arrived at the studio and were ushered into a huge hanger where we were kitted out with white body suits and then sprayed with a light grey stripe on each arm - even now I’m not sure what the spray paint was for as you can’t see it in the video. When we had all been prepared, we were taken into an adjoining hanger and were greeted by the band and an initial play through of the song. The rest of the day was spent clapping as you’ll see in the video. I wound up in the front row, opposite Brian. If you look closely and you know what you’re looking for, you can see me!

In between takes, I approached John Deacon who was surprisingly on his own. I remember trying to remain calm as I approached him. I didn’t mention our brief meeting, I asked him how to get a job in recording studios and that I was interested in pursuing a career as a sound engineer. He was really helpful and took time to explain the usual route.

On 22, March 1984 at Limehouse Studios in London’s docklands, the video for ‘I Want To Break Free’ was filmed, again with the help of fan club members. I went along with my brother Andrew. The set was a big dark staircase that we all stood on. We were given black bodysuits this time that were sprouted with hello paint on the arms. We also wore a hard hat with a head lamp attached to it. The band were set in the middle of us all. After all the filming, we returned to the main building where we said hello to Roger. He’d come out to say thanks. Later, waiting for a cab down in reception, Freddie glided down the staircase and past us with his entourage. I remember wanting to get up and say thanks, but the opportunity was missed.

...20th April 1992. My friend Chesney Hawkes was managed by Trinifold. They also managed The Who. He invited me along to the Freddie Mercury Tribute gig at Wembley. Roger Daltry was appearing and Ches had a spare ticket. He only had one backstage pass though. This was overcome by him befriending the chap on the security door. Ches came out to meet me with his pass. He returned on his own and got in. I confidently flashed my pass and entered the Hard Rock tented area. Ches beckoned me over from the other side of the room. He was signing autographs for a lady, her two children and an older lady was with them. He introduce me to them saying I was a huge Queen fan. ‘This is Freddie’s mother' he whispered to me. I remember saying to her that I wish we’d met under different circumstances and how deeply sorry I was about her loss and how incredibly proud she should be. I often wonder about her.

...In Spring 1993, I was in front office. It was well after midnight and I’d left a s session for a little break. As usual, I took a look in the studio diary to see what was coming up. I flicked through the weeks and came upon an booking entry “Studio 3 - QUEEN” for 2 weeks that was pencilled in. There was no further info than that. I put my initials next to the booking thinking there would be a rational explanation as to what the booking really was. I soon found myself on a 2 week session with Queen.My diary from 1993 is lost, so I have only a mental note as to when & what songs were touched upon at this initial stage of 'Made In Heaven'. We started taking delivery of various multitrack tapes on varied formats. These were then transferred to digital 48 track tapes for future work. Roger & John were alone on these sessions as Brian was touring in Japan. I remember Roger being rather dismissive of Brian being unavailable, much like a brother sledging his sibling would do, with a slightly jealous edge but genuine at the same time.

...Over the 2 week session, Roger would suggest we went out for dinner. We had 3 or 4 meals out at a local Italian restaurant. Even now I laugh at jumping into the back of Roger’s Merc and the four of us driving down Abbey Road to the restaurant. It was owned by an Italian lady that would force you to smell her ‘wonderful mushrooms’ from a jar, which she made Roger do. On our initial meal she told Roger he looked familiar. ‘I know you’, she said. ‘Where have I seen you before?’ ‘Well, I’m in a band and we’ve been on TV before.’ Roger replied. John seemed calm with his lack of recognition. ‘What group do you play for?’ she asked. ‘I’m the drummer in a rock n roll band called Queen’ he replied. ‘No - I don’t hear of this band’ …We finished our food and the bill was called for. It showed up. John took it and asked Roger if he should use the Queen card to pay for it or his own card.

Roger’s drum kit arriving half way through the first week of sessions was a surprise for Noel Harris (the engineer) & me. We expected the sessions to be playing back tapes and working through the various formats to find possible material to be worked on at a later date. Noel was unfamiliar with the room in studio 3 and asked my opinion where to set the kit up and what microphones I would use. Eventually he left me to it. The kit was positioned and I mic’d it up that evening. John had his red Fender bass DI’d (no amp was used) and sat with us in the control room. I doubt these recordings made it through to the final mixes, it’s nice to think that they did.

...Tuesday 5th September

During the afternoon Brian’s guitar and a Vox AC30 appeared in the studio, brought in by Pete Malandrone. We were to do guitar overdubs on ‘You Don't Fool Me’. David asked me to put two Shure 421 microphones pointing into the back of the speaker cabinet. We did have two SM57’s on the front but these weren’t used in the recording.

I had to do a recall of the mix, which meant noting all of the studio outboard settings so we could get back to the mix and finish it off.

We had a technical problem with the Sony 3348 tape machine and eventually had it swapped for a new one. Brian clearly wasn’t aware we weren’t ready for him. I was half way through telling him and Jim Beach jumped in and finished off my explanation. Brian got really cross with him and slammed an empty coffee mug down on the studio table. Later Brian was so apologetic for his outburst. He must have told Jim he was sorry 4 times. As I type this I note it was Freddie’s birthday.

Brian slipped on his guitar that was linked to his amp with one lead. No pedals. His sound was instant and we were soon ready to record. He stood in front of the console in the control facing David & me.

Brian had an idea of what he wanted to play. The guitar riff had already been recorded. The solo guitar is what was added. Brian used a scrap of paper that he drew a map of dots on. Not like musical notation but his own short hand. It reminded me of being at the 'Radio Ga Ga' video shoot 13 years earlier. I was the same distance from Brian as I was then, but the scenario was beyond my imagination.

...Friday 8th September

Day Off - I may have met Pete Malandron at the Sun Inn in Barnes this afternoon. The QIFC was based round the corner at the time & Brian had a house there too, although I'm not sure he lived there at the time. I was with a friend and Pete joined us in the pub. He sat near the window and kept looking out of it. I asked what he was looking at and he replied "I always get worried when I'm out with Brian's guitar. It's in the boot of the car you see." He stayed for one drink and decided it was time to leave.

...One of the evenings of this second week, George Michael came to visit. There was a strong possibility that he would sing on one of the songs. Roger, John, Brian, David, George & I sat chatting in the control room. One of the conversations moved onto the Beatles and their current 'best of' release. I think Brian suggested that it was a bad idea releasing all their old material and I piped up that the fans would buy it regardless, much like the scenario Queen were about to face with the imminent release of the album. There was a deathly hush as I realised what I was saying. I wasn’t being at all derogatory. I was helped out of the hole I was digging by George who agreed with me and we moved on. No one actually spoke about doing a vocal. After George left the studio that evening, Roger was clear that he wasn’t keen on the idea.After looking through the Vintage Car garage across the road from the studio one afternoon, Roger saw a black Cadillack convertible that he quite liked. The following morning he came into the studio and said ‘Don’t tell Jim, but I bought the car.’ It was £80, 000.

Brian asked me if had been involved in the Abbey Road Sessions. Perhaps he’d seen my name on the tape boxes. I said that I was. Immediately he made a phone call. I didn’t hear all that he said, but I knew it was about a special thanks on the album credits. The following morning, after the artwork had been finalised, Roger came in and said ‘morning Aardvark’. Because the special thanks were alphabetic, I was on top of the list. It wasn’t until I bought a copy of the album and saw my name on it that I finally took on board that I had actually achieved one of my dreams.”

#queen #queen band #roger taylor #brian may #john deacon

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cultofbeatles · 5 years ago

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beginners guide to the beatles

made one of these a long time ago but i'm surprised by how short it was. so here we go again. doing it right this time lol.

pov: you told a bad joke and now the beatles are judging you.

john winston lennon. later in his life known as john winston ono lennon.

born on october 9, 1940

i believe in astrology bc how does john just happen to be a libra

when john was four he started living with his aunt mimi who acted more as his mother figure

his mother, julia, remarried and would visit him quite a bit.

it was julia who taught john how to play banjo and piano. and she bought his first guitar.

they both had a deep love for music and rock n roll

he never really thought of her as his mother but more as a cool friend i suppose

aunt mimi was more rough on him and did the disciplining

his father was never really present growing up and his uncle passed away when he was young

he thought he was a curse for the men in his family

he had five half siblings. two of them, julia and jacqueline, he was pretty close to. the other three he barely knew.

fashion icon.

hated school but loved art

very early on he was insecure with himself

teachers always shit on him and said he would go nowhere in life

he met paul at a church fete on july 6, 1957

paul taught him how to play guitar properly.

once told paul that he didnt know how paul carried on after his mother died bc he just didn't think he could do it

john’s mother died from being hit by an off duty policemen. john was seventeen at the time.

he took her death really hard and became a bit of a recluse.

first serious relationship was with cynthia (we stan her)

once cynthia cut her hair short and he didn't talk to her for two days.

hate men. kill all men.

when he asked her to dance at a party she turned him down saying that she was engaged, and so he said “well i didn't ask you to fucking marry me, did i?”

slapped her once bc he was drunk and another boy was talking to her.

only time her hit her.

read cynthia’s books about john pls. i beg.

once a psychic told him that he would be shot in the states.

founder of the beatles and also came up with the name.

instruments he could play: guitar, harmonica, rhythm guitar, banjo, keyboard, piano, saxophone, bass guitar, and a little drums.

main songwriter in the beatles along with paul.

was more open minded to change in the beatles music.

was insecure in his relationship with paul after a while bc he thought he only needed him for songwriting.

would bitch about paul all day long but the second anyone else said something about him he’d be on their ass.

had a lot of issues and needed a good hug.

suffered from eating disorders, drug addictions, depression, insecurities, and questioned his sexuality bc of the time.

was super open minded and ahead of his time in many instances.

once he was called “the fat beatle” and after that he stopped eating as much.

truly loved his first son, julian lennon, and would buy him presents all the time bc he was excited to see him play with them.

“your famous ex husband”

he enjoyed playing monopoly.

he once claimed that he saw a ufo.

he had written three books but he always wanted to write a children's book.

the last song he ever performed in front of a live audience was “i saw her standing there.” with elton john.

he was afraid of the dark.

found out later in his life that he was dyslexic.

was also legally blind without glasses.

never could catch a break huh.

said that his best lyric ever was “all you need is love” i agree.

the first time yoko and john met was not at her art exhibit but actually when she approached him about giving away songs for free.

wanted to write a musical with paul.

once a friend dared him to masturbate ten times in one day and he managed to do it nine times.

would hold circle jerks with paul and a few other friends.

just dudes being dudes.

went on a holiday with brian epstein, who was gay, and told some people afterward that they did certain sexual things. but we will never know for sure.

yoko says that john was bisexual.

once in an interview he said that he would of married a rich man or woman if he wasn't in the beatles.

hated his voice on records. would always ask for effects on his voice for final recordings.

made a film with yoko where it was just his penis going from flaccid to erect for fifteen minutes in slow motion.

only beatle not to of become a vegetarian while he was alive.

murdered on december 8, 1980.

gave his autograph earlier in the day to the man who would murder him.

died at the age of 40.

“all my loving” was played while he was at the hospital.

and its spooky bc a lot of times in interviews he would say “when i'm 40..”

and it’s sad bc he was finally becoming who he truly wanted to be.

honorable john moments that i love:

“thanks for the purpler hearts” he says while receiving the silver heart

“you are the first person from liverpool that i've ever seen” “great”

eric lennon on my mind today

this come together performance where he messed up the lyrics lol

that interview where paul was sick and john keep checking on him

john lennon speaking nothing but facts

when he said that he could see the beatles going separate ways but that they'd always come back together.

SHUT UP

“shut up while he’s talking..”

this interview breaks my heart sometimes

and this interview is great as well

sir james paul mccartney

born on june 18, 1942

if you ever have spare time just check out this man’s natal chart.

idk how he’s still alive with his chart tbh.

he has a younger brother named mike and a step sister named ruth.

his dad thought he was the ugliest baby he’d ever seen when he was born.

when he was young paul would kill frogs in a way to prepare himself for the war if he ever was drafted.

the first instrument he ever learned to play was the trumpet.

I don't even want to list every instrument this man can play but trust me when I say it’s a lot.

but for the beatles he mainly did bass, vocals, and piano. sometimes playing the guitar and the drums.

the beatles was just paul moving really, really fast.

he lost his mother when he was 14 due to surgery for breast cancer.

never really learned how to cope well with loss of a loved one tbh.

had the cutest chubby cheeks as a kid tbh

met john and was accepted into his band

sometimes they'd ditch school together and either work on music or would visit art galleries.

went to paris with john and john bought him all the banana milkshakes that he wanted.

connected over their love and admiration for music, and bc they had both lost their mothers.

had a girlfriend’s mom who he would make comb his leg hairs.

was an ass to his first girlfriend.

kill all men again.

almost had to marry his girlfriend dot bc she was pregnant, but she ended up losing the baby.

was the one who introduced george harrison to john.

practically despised pete best and stuart stutcliffe bc they were bringing the group down.

got arrested along with pete best bc they lit a condom on fire in hamburg.

still felt awful and a little guilty when stuart died suddenly.

main force behind the beatles imo.

without him we’d have not as much beatles music as we do.

was dating jane asher throughout majority of the sixties.

when they first met they talked about syrup and paul fell in love.

they broke things off after she walked in on him sleeping with another woman though.

directed magical mystery tour and it was amazing and I don't care what anyone says ok?

when john divorced cynthia he was the only one not scared of john and went against his wishes of not speaking to cynthia.

was a little controlling at times.

has a good heart though.

mal evans had to drive him home once after a beatles sessions bc he was crying so hard.

was talking about getting the band back to touring when john said he was leaving the group.

everyone kind of turned against him when the beatles were breaking up and i hate it.

he just wanted what was best for the band.

married linda and had a nice little farm.

we love that story.

linda i'm free thursday if you want to hang out pls.

started up the whole “no meat monday” thing where you don't eat monday on mondays

food meat. not the other kind of meat.

children: james mccartney, stella mccartney, heather mccartney, mary mccartney, and beatrice mccartney.

rip martha.

WINGS!!

he lost linda in 1998 due to cancer.

cried for a whole year bc of it.

still has dreams about john and says they're nice.

wrote a sad song about john called “here today.”

really loved john. like..he truly, genuinely did.

want someone to love me like paul does john.

“think of me every now and then old friend.”

honorable paul moments:

his story about george’s dad

“john? he was beautiful. very beautiful.”

humpty dumpty rap

another story about him and george.

his google search video that I watch every week

this

george harrison

born: February 24, 1943

or at least we think

bc he use to say that his birthday was february 25, but later started saying it february 24.

why can't we change our birthdays its not like we picked it

he was the youngest child.

baby of the family and of the beatles awwww

two older brothers named harry and peter. one older sister named louise.

when george’s mom was pregnant with him she’d play sitar music.

his mom was super supportive of his career choice

when he was 16 he worked as an electricians apprentice.

his dad kind of hoped he would start a family business out of it.

george said nah

would ride the bus opposite way of his house just to spend time with paul

headbutted a kid bc he didn't think they were worthy of paul’s friendship

was brought into the band bc of paul insisting to john

would follow john around like a lost puppy when he first met him

once had an eight hour erection. don't ask me how idk he said it.

was 17 when he lost his virginity and the other band members were in the room watching and cheered him when he finished

most sex craved beatle tbh

once walked into a girls dressing room and asked if they could stand there so he could masturbate

he was the first beatle to go to america

got a black eye for defending ringo once

would make john and paul take turns sharing rooms with ringo when he first joined the band so that he felt more welcomed

when ringo left during the white album and then came back george decorated the studio with flowers for him

during the beatles first recording session he told george martin that he didn't like his tie

became a vegetarian at 22

favorite candy was jelly beans and purple was his favorite color

used the phrase “grotty” in the hard days night movie, hated it, but everyone else picked up on the slang

met his first wife, pattie boyd, on the set of a hard days night

was turned down by her at first

they married in 1966

wouldn't let her do modeling stuff and was kind of an ass

a stylish couple but not the best image for a healthy relationship

got into eastern religion around 1965

during the Hamburg days he would eat chicken on stage

had an affair with ringo’s first wife maureen

got a divorce from pattie in 1977

in 1978 he married olivia who he stayed with until his death and had one son with. dhani.

was the first beatle to hit a number one single and album.

was buddies with led zeppelin

inspired their “rain song”

smashed a piece of cake on john bonham’s head and then was thrown into the pool by him

he financed and produced films. had a production company.

tom petty said that george never shut up once you started talking to him

but he was often referred to as “the quiet beatle”

formed another band called the traveling wilburys

he’d answer questions online in the 2000′s and it’s the cutest thing ever and his answers break my heart too.

“what do you miss most about john lennon?” “john lennon.”

in 1999 a schizophrenic person broke into his house and stabbed him 40 times

thank god olivia was there bc she was the only braincell in the room

had to get a part of his lung taken out

died november 29, 2001 from lung cancer

ashes were scattered into the ganges river

honorable george moments:

this interview he did with ringo

“i'm sad bc i can't play guitars with john anymore. but i did that...i know we’ll meet again some day.”

when he invented reaction videos

“the wind was blowing.” “..blowing my girl?”

“what kind of girl do you like?” “john’s wife.”

sir richard starkey aka ringo starr

born on july 7, 1940

oldest member in the group

has no siblings

naturally was left handed but his grandma thought it was bad luck so he writes right handed, and plays drums with a right handed kit

but does everything else left handed

when he was 6 he fell into a two month coma

was a very sick child

when he was 13 he was in the hosiptal for tuberculosis and formed a hospital band

grew up poor

loves and looked up to his stepfather a lot

his step father bought him his first drum kit in 1957

wasn't that great in school bc he missed so much of it from being so sick

he worked for a britain railway for a while

also served drinks on a day boat for a job

loves dancing

Rory storm and the hurricanes

got his nickname from all the rings he would wear

replaced pete best as the beatles drummer

dealt with people hating him for a bit bc they liked pete more

had to style his hair in a bowl cut to be in the band and i'm still mad at them for making him do that shit

ringo i'm so sorry

george martin didn't really like his drumming and had a session drummer come in for the first album

in 1964 he had tonsillitis, pharyngitis, and high fever all at once and had to be in the hospital for a bit.

was worried the beatles would replace him for good

he’s a cancer don't worry

was the first beatle to try weed

drummers always go first huh

married his first wife, maureen, in 1965

she kissed paul, ringo, and george.

what a champ

honeymoon was ruined by reporters

was really insecure in his relationship and needed a lot of reassurance

had a great relationship with pretty much all the beatles

but a great one with john

john felt his most relaxed when he was with ringo

was once in a movie with roger daltrey

divorced maureen in 1975

his wife now is barbara bach who he married in 1981

had alcohol problems

once gotten so drunk that he beat barbara so badly that he thought he killed her

put himself into rehab after that

barbara lowkey looks like jan from the office

children: zak, lee, and jason

zak is the drummer for the band the who

peace and love

but don't send me fan mail anymore

peace and love

ringo starr and the allstar band (starting 1981)

was the narrator for thomas the tank engine

will play at paul’s concerts sometimes now for fun

mad bc he came on stage during paul’s last concert show and it was on my birthday and I couldn't go to it

honorable ringo moments:

“do you want me to come with you?”

stupid barbara walters

talking about paul

giving us a little dance

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pigeon-princess · 5 years ago

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Edmund Ravenwood’s Backstory

Thank you all for being so patient!! I finally have the comprehensive story of my DnD character Edmund’s life, past experiences, how he met his patron The Winter Prince and right up until he first ran into our dnd party! I’ve also included a lot of of never before seen secret artwork below the cut!

Some of the backstory content discussed in this has not been shared with the other players in the campaign, so if anyone of you are reading this (Selby I’m looking at you) avert your eyes!!

EDMUND’S EARLY YEARS

For the full family history of the Ravenwoods, I only know as much as Edmund knows which is not a lot (My DM holds the secrets). As far as it concerns to Edmund, the Ravenwood family have always been renowned for their arcane abilities, holding a strong Elven lineage that dates back centuries. His father, Rykar Ravenwood used be high ranking officer in the Queen’s army before she died and now holds the position of Kings representative for the state of Vela, in the continent of Lunaris.

During the time of his military service, Edmund’s father left his family to fight for a few years and when he returned, he brought back his illegitimate Half Elven son, much to the dismay of his wife, Selphine Ravenwood. The identity of Edmund’s birth mother is unknown to him (Only my DM knows) and absolutely everyone refuses to talk about it, the only thing he can assume was that she was human. Although not knowing has left Edmund feeling uneasy at times, in order to fit in with his family, he’s never dwelt on who she could be or had any strong desire to seek her out.

Edmund is the middle child of Ravenwood's 5 children. The oldest son, Ambrose is a respected professor at Hansen’s Academy of the Arcane, doing his best to keep himself composed and proper despite Edmund giving him constant headaches. The oldest daughter Leona is the commander of Vela’s current military force, she has a particularly cold and serious attitude towards most things. Corda, who is slightly younger than Edmund, takes after her mother and is a young socialite with an interest in fashion. She hides a particularly cruel personality behind her sweet smile. Erinaya is the youngest of five children, and has always been the one sibling that openly cares for Edmund. She has outward adoration for him and he would often take her out for adventures and play with her throughout their childhood together.

His parents were distant in his upbringing, his father would occasionally show him slight signs of warmth when the rest of the family was not around. However, his mother held a particular disdain for him as Edmund was a walking, talking reminder of her husband’s infidelity.

Another constant reminder that Edmund did not fit into his family was the fact that he was completely magically inept. Despite countless tutors, he was unable to do any kind of magic properly, either the spells would not work at all or things had a habit of exploding. The crueler members of his family (His mother and Corda) would often say that it’s the filthy blood in his veins (the human half) that stops the magic from coming to him.

While spending most of his time being raised by the family’s hired nanny Mary, he developed a similar accent to her own, one less posh than the rest of his family which suited him just fine when people commented on it (Eddie’s accent more is East London/Cockney while his family is closer to am upper class English accent. I used to be really bad at speaking in his accent but I’ve gotten a lot better with practice and now I can slip into it no problem!).

Most of Edmund’s early years were spent playing out in the woods at the back of the Ravenwood's grand estate. It was there that Edmund met his first friends, two human twins by the names of Rosa and Elijah and despite how his parents discouraged him from associating with the common folk, it only urged him to seek them out more. His friends started calling him Eddie, and the nickname stuck as his little band of friends grew over the years.

Some of his new mates included a chilled out blue Tiefling called Hex, who is the go to guy to get ahold of all your illegal substances (He was also the person that Edmund lost his virginity to in their teenage years), a Half Orc named Zarak (He became the designated Mum friend of the group) and a Gnome girl with a bold personality called Kiplin.

AURIGA & APOLLO

By the time Eddie was a teenager, rebellion was deeply rooted into his personality. The next state over from Vela is a place called Auriga, it's known for its loud music and wild parties. Using the family’s teleportation circle, Eddie and his mates would nearly always sneak off for nights out and spring break holidays.

A lot of those years spent partying in Auriga are still very hazy to Eddie to this day, the copious amounts of alcohol, party drugs and occasional hook ups have all blurred together. However, things took a turn when on one of these wild nights out, his friends dragged him to a concert for a band of bards known as Killer Korpse.

Watching the lead singer perform, Eddie was absolutely starstruck and fell in love on the spot. Apollo was everything Eddie dreamed of, a rebellious bard full of magic, singing about not giving a shit and as an added bonus he was a human which his parents would hate. Everything to do with Apollo was a world away from his uptight family and a reputation he has no hopes of living up to.

After stalking the band for several weeks, hanging outside the backstage door and hovering in the taverns they were staying in, surprisingly Apollo actually took notice of him. One night when Eddie was hopelessly loitering near backstage, the door opened and instead of the usual guard telling him to fuck off, Apollo stepped out and right over to him and Eddie stared up at him completely lost for words.

Apollo thought the stalker kid was really funny so he decided to bring him backstage to meet the rest of the band. After Eddie had downed a bunch of drinks he started oversharing about how much he hated his family and it was then that it clicked for Apollo who Eddie actually is, since the Ravenwoods are very well known. When Eddie started a very drunk confession of love to Apollo, he decided he was going to have a lot of fun with this and a few minutes later Apollo had Eddie pinned to the couch in a very drunk make out session.

After that Eddie was caught in a whirlwind of things and over the spring break he was brought along with the band for their tour. He was having the best time of his life, half in a daze because he couldn’t believe he was spending nearly every night in bed with Apollo, the rebellious bard of his dreams.

Apollo and his bandmates were pretty much just assholes, the fame had really gone to their heads and they would get away with doing pretty much whatever they wanted. Eddie being naive and being in his own happy world never noticed Apollo sneaking off to hook up with other groupies or making fun of Eddie behind his back. Half the time the band was high on a drug known as Sharp Sugar that’s often used to enhance your senses (AKA gives you an advantage on all ability checks) however the come down can be brutal on the body and makes the substance highly addictive. Some of the shine for his relationship with Apollo started to wear off after having some very scary encounters with a drug deprived Apollo.

Even though Apollo was a dick a lot of the time, there are also some moments where he could be incredibly sweet, and parts where he would share stories of his own life with Eddie and the sincerity of it made Eddie fall deeper and deeper into devotion.

On the night that Killer Korpse finished their last show for the spring break in Auriga and just before they were about to travel to the capital city to tour again, there was a big party to celebrate. While Apollo was surrounded by his drunk and very high friends, Eddie approached him with all his courage and told him that he had decided he wasn’t going back to his family and he was going to run away with the band so that they could be together.

Apollo stood there looking at him seriously for a moment before he started to laugh. He was howling with laughter, clutching onto his friends, his eyes snapped back up to Eddie saying “You can't be serious, look this whole thing was fun while it lasted but everyones heard about the black sheep of the Ravenwood’s now and I'm bored of this. Its over Eddie”

Absolutely humiliated in front of Apollo’s entire backstage entourage, in a daze Eddie ran away as fast as he could and he slowly made his way home to very angry parents.

HANSEN’S & HUDIC

By the time Eddie returned to Vela the word had gotten out that the bastard son of the Ravenwood’s was sleeping around with a famous bard.

In order to quickly shut this rumour down and to get Eddie out of the spotlight, his parents paid to send him to Hansen’s school of the Arcane, under the assumption that he would be watched over by his brother Ambrose (much to his dismay), who is currently working there as a professor. They were hoping that with the correct teaching, Eddie might be able to hone some kind of magical ability.

There are two ways you can get into the academy, you can either take an extremely difficult exam and practical test, or if you have enough money you can pay your way in. Luckily for Edmund’s family, money is not an issue.

Not being able to use magic while surrounded by a school for talented magic users is not fun. Especially when everyone knows that you didn’t earn your place and your parents paid for you to be there. And it sucks even more if you don’t actually want to be there in the first place but for Eddie he thought that this would be a wonderful opportunity to stir up some shit.

Edmund was stuck sharing a dorm room with a human boy called Ozwald. Oz wasn’t too bad, he was one of the only people who didn’t actually look down on Eddie because of his family or lack of magical ability. He was also very patient for putting up with all the trouble Eddie was seeming to find himself in.

It was in his numerous detentions that Eddie met his new band of friends. A feisty fire Genasi sorcerer called Flint who had a habit of setting things on fire when he lost his temper. Miriam Makovski, a human wizard who just wanted to hit things with a sword and not use magic like her wizard family insisted. Rowan Buckley, a sweet Firbolg druid who was only in detention because the teacher had forgotten he was still in the classroom organising the books. And last but not least his right hand man and partner in crime Theron Finchley, A Halfling wild magic sorcerer who enjoyed stirring up shit just as much as Eddie did. The group managed to get up to all sorts of mischief, smuggling in drugs and alcohol with the help of Hex, pranking teachers, and messing with the uptight students.

Heres a drawing I did of Rowan because I love him and I would die for him.

Once Edmund was starting to finish off his second year the Academy, his lack of magical ability was starting to get to him, especially seeing the shining talent in his friends, even if they didn’t really care about their own magic much at all. Doing some research for the first time in his life, Edmund went down the path of researching powerful beings that could give power to those who seek it. Thinking that perhaps this could be his opportunity to have the magic that he was so jealous of. Sneaking into the restricted section, Edmund came across a book describing a resurrection ritual involving an old god of Betrayal known as Hudic.

Gathering the supplies for the ritual was tough, some of the ingredients being very hard to get ahold of (including bones of an innocent person and other strange items) and over the next few months, Edmund worked on drawing up the summoning sigil under the rug in his shared dorm room, hiding it whenever ozwald returned from his studies.

On one cold evening, as soon as Ozwald left to study in the library, Edmund began the ritual, pouring his own blood into the center of the sigil and chanting the words from the book. As the shadows started to collect around his feet and a grotesque figure began to pull himself from the inscriptions on the ground, it was then that Ozwald walked back into the dorm room having forgotten something.

At that point everything went wrong, the demon grabbed Ozwald and dragged him back into the shadows with him, blood covering the floor, and the screams of both Oz and Eddie echoing throughout the halls. There was a huge scene students began to run out of bed, Professors running into the dorm room to stop students looking in. And before anyone could grab him, Eddie used the rest of his strength to climb out of the window. And for the second time in his life, Eddie ran away.

THE WINTER PRINCE

With nothing but the clothes on his back, Eddie blindly walked south. Since the academy was in the southernmost part of Vela, it wasn’t long before he started nearing the border for the state known as Crusis, a cold and unforgiving territory bordered by an endless winter wasteland. Eddie, snuck through the border patrols by pretending to be one of the hundreds of refugees making their way south, all displaced from the war with the fire giants raging across the South East of Lunaris.

Huddling for warmth in barns and gathering scraps of food where he could, he overheard a group of travellers discussing a hidden library out in the winter wastelands. He had nothing else to live for? Perhaps a magic library would have the solution to his problems. So with what little supplies he could gather, he set out in search of a Library, in hopes that he could find another book that could help him reverse what he had done.

The wastelands are absolutely brutal, many experienced travellers die out in the cold, so for Edmund he was barely hanging in there. At one point he even had a run in with a polar bear and fought to avoid a handful of white dragon wyrmlings. He wandered the endless snow fields until his legs gave out, and the snow was too strong.

Edmund lay in the snow, looking up at the greying sky, frostbite already starting to nip at the exposed skin on his face. It was in this lucid state of consciousness that he barely registered a figure standing over him, he could have sworn that he was being lifted, and the last thing he remembered was strong arms carrying him before he passed out.

It was the press of something to his lips that woke him up. Delirious, naked and covered in blankets of fur, Eddie gazed up at the face of the most ethereal looking man he had ever seen. Long white hair, pale skin, long elven ears and ice seeming to glitter across his features. At his lips, the man was forcefully pushing berries and fruits into his mouth, looking annoyed and telling him to eat or he would die.

After a few days, when Edmund was mostly recovered, he took note that he had been brought to some kind of palace seemingly sculpted of ice and stone. The man introduced himself simply as The Winter Prince. He explained that he had been banished from his home in the Winter Court of the Feywild and confined to the mortal realm and specifically this small area of wasteland in Crusis. Ignoring any of Edmund’s questions about why he was banished, The Winter Prince proposed a deal to him.

“I’m trapped here in my castle, I can’t go anywhere or in fact do anything, so if you are able go out and look for someway to release me from this banishment, in return I will grant you access to my power, but you’ll also have to lend me your eyes and your body on occasion.”

By accepting the deal The Winter Prince would be able to look through his eyes and take control of Eddie’s body when he sees fit. (As a player I have to roll a wisdom save and if I fail then my DM takes control of Eddie’s actions as the Winter Prince. In the beginning of the campaign the other players had no idea what was happening, and no idea who my patron was at all. This has already lead to some AMAZING in game interactions)

With promise of magic and nothing else left to lose, Eddie agreed and The Winter Prince stepped forward and sealed the contract with a kiss on the forehead. After spending the next few hours running around in the snow, throwing Eldritch blasts into the sky and wooping for joy the two of them prepared for Eddie’s journey back into civilisation.

In the throne room lined by a large mirror made of glass, Eddie was shocked to see a vision of his reflection standing motionlessly, behind the prince’s throne. The prince explained that it was another added sign of their contract (Eddie now does not have a reflection and doesn’t show up in mirrors)

The Winter Prince is always very graceful and elegant in his movements and he usually speaks with a relaxed tone, like many of the fey he is cold and cruel but has somewhat of a mischievous edge. Eddie was reminded of the cruel twist of his personality with how The Winter Prince reminded him that the only reason he was chosen was because all the other people that he had found in the snow were already long dead.

With a new mission in mind, a resistance to the cold and new power running through his veins, Edmund set out to the capital city of Naos to earn some money and start looking for ways to release The Winter Prince’s banishment. And of course he wouldn’t throw away the opportunity to test out his new found magical abilities along the way, perhaps he would even try to unravel some of the mysteries behind his patron’s cold heart.

Thank you so much for reading! If you have any questions please let me know because I’d be more than happy to answer!

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angrylizardjacket · 5 years ago

Text

you wrote ‘don’t forget’ on your arm // 2 // charlotte&lola (penny&jupiter)

Summary: The Dirt.

A/N: @misscharlottelee and @local-troubled-writer . warnings for attempted suicide, overdoses, drugs, alcohol, swearing, angst, and everything else in The Dirt movie. Very Long.

Part 2 of 2

----

Lola’s holding Nikki’s hand. Jupiter’s sitting behind them in the theatre, with Seo on one side and Penny on the other, with their siblings, and various band members’ children filling the row beside them; the band themselves, and the cast, sitting in the row in front.

And Lola’s holding Nikki’s hand in her white-knuckled grip, nervous. She doesn’t speak. The lights go dark. Jupiter doesn’t know quite why they do it, but they take Penny and Seo’s hands too.

“The 1980s. The worst fucking decade in human history...”

Jupiter’s never gone out of their way to learn much about their family history; it’s never done them any favours, and they don’t wanna read about how debauched their family was. Nikki, technically their stepdad, was a base player, and that’s all they cared to know. Love of their mom’s life. Whatever.

“That’s Tommy, our drummer. He makes a lot of bad choices.”

It’s with a huff of amused resignation that both Jupiter and Penny make a noise of agreement, trying to detach themselves from watching Colson as Tommy go down on a girl on the big screen in front of them. After hearing them, Lola casts a quick glance over her shoulder, giving an amused smile.

The first thirty seconds gives Jupiter more information than they’d ever wanted to know about their extended band-family, though they knew Mick was their favourite for a reason.

So it comes as a shock to see Nikki’s life laid bare in the first few minutes, so quickly after that. About shitty boyfriends his mom had had, how he’d framed her for abuse, how he’d been put into the system, how he’d met Lola.

“And then there was her, the only person I’d met who could top my psycho mom origin story.” The film crash-cuts through two second clips of a young Lola arguing with her mother, and her mother shoving her into a candle, followed by young Lola screaming in a hospital bed, her in court, and finally her glaring down at a young Nikki in a group home. She kicks him hard in the shin while he’s asleep on a sofa, contrasting the voice over. “The only person in the world who seemed to give half a shit about me.”

And Jupiter finds theirself with a strange, hollow feeling in their chest; five minutes and they know more about their stepdad than they’d ever bothered to learn in the before.

“Dude! Fuck yeah! Finally my turn!” Tommy’s voice rings out, and the scene shifts.

Jupiter knows Tommy’s story almost too well, but Penny’s grip on Jupiter’s hand turns suddenly painful.

“If I knew you were gonna make me late, I wouldn’t have invited you at all!” Tommy groans as he steps into the kitchen, and the camera whip-pans around to show Charlotte, all dressed up, looking as ready to go out as Tommy, contrasting the rest of the family.

“I’m never going to say no to your mom’s cooking,” Charlotte tells him with half a bread roll in her mouth, before smiling sweetly at Tommy’s mother, thanking her.

“Just keep him out of trouble,” his mother tells her with an amused smile, and Charlotte stands, taking another bread roll and heading to Tommy.

“She can try.” Tommy snorts, clapping her on the back, “come on, I don’t wanna miss them!”

Charlotte, as portrayed by Josie, is bright and cheerful, sarcastic and more earnest than the rest of the band put together, and Penny’s hand in Jupiter’s is trembling as Tommy’s voiceover explains that Charlotte’s his cousin, and the only person in the family who ‘wasn’t a square’.

Nikki and Lola meet Charlotte and Tommy that night in the diner, and Lola’s bleeding, same as Tommy, and Charlotte asks if she’s dead.

“Charlie’s the only person I’ve known who could talk Lola out of a bad idea,” Tommy’s voice over explains, just as Lola, in the diner, grimaces and spits a mouthful of blood.

“Fuck you,” Lola glowers at Charlotte.

“And Lola’s one of the few who could lead her into one.” Tommy adds candidly in hindsight.

But then Tommy’s twirling his drumsticks, and Lola goes from looking murderous to intrigued; she and Nikki share an impressed look, and the scene cuts to the one of Mick’s introduction.

Surprisingly enough, Jupiter wasn’t shocked by any of Mick’s story, they’d spent a lot of time with him in their early 20s, he’d taught them guitar.

But then there’s Vince’s introduction, his first jam session with the band, and the naming of the band. In the background, there’s Lola, always there, always unexplained, just around, just like Charlotte, the two chatting, forming a fast friendship in the background.

And then the first gig rolls around, the scene starting with Lola kicking in the greenroom door.

“We had only three things that gave us an edge that night;” the voice over of Nikki informed the audience, “our look, our killer sound, and the best roadie on The Strip.”

“House is looking pretty full,” Lola told them, making a beeline for the bottle of JD sitting next to Nikki, who was applying his makeup. Tommy pauses his drumstick twirling to fist pump. “Nice pants,” she tells Vince, who was stretching in a pair of white leather pants, grinning.

“They cost my girlfriend like eight hundred bucks.”

At the end of the scene, she gives Vince a kiss, for luck, followed by a wink, and Jupiter, who knew this part of their mother’s story, still feels a sense of discomfort. This wasn’t just gossip anymore; their mother’s history is public knowledge, now more than it’s ever been.

The fight that ensues during the band’s first gig shows Lola get punched in the face by someone in the crowd, and later, once everyone’s been tended to, Charlotte and Lola can be seen by the bar at the back of the crowd, and Charlotte’s checking if Lola’s nose is broken, both women laughing at the situation. It’s a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moment, but neither Jupiter nor Penny does, and later letting out a gentle, fond ‘oh’.

A montage follows, of the band getting their act together, writing music, playing at pubs, their names on the marquee, making a backdrop, always with Lola and Charlotte somewhere in the background.

But then Vince’s girlfriend catches him with Lola, and all she does is laugh, while Vince chases after his girlfriend, butt naked. Charlotte takes the photos of the band with the giant hot dog, and she and Lola help dye Tommy’s hair, and generally indulge in the band’s bastard antics.

It’s clear from their body language that the women are close by the time Zutaut is introduced and the band is playing the Troubadour. Charlotte’s given his business card while Lola pack’s up the band’s gear after a gig, while the rest of the band debauch themselves in the crowd.

A record deal comes, then the introduction of Doc McGee, though Mick pauses the film for a moment after Doc is introduced by punching out an unruly guest at a house party.

“This didn’t actually happen. Doc never came to this filthy shithole. That guy? That happened, but it wasn’t Doc.” The scene rewinds to show Lola knocking out the guy, throwing him out of the party. “When she wasn’t fucking or sucking the rest of the band, she did a pretty good job as our security detail, and now, we had the cash to pay her for her,” he cleared his throat pointedly, “services.”

The scene shifts, however, to show Doc McGee and Doug Thaler outside a door labeled ‘STAGE STAFF ONLY’.

“Doc we met at the Santa Monica Civic Center after a show...”

But when we come back, it’s to the version of the story where Doc is the hero in the apartment party, being introduced by Zutaut.

Charlotte is there for their first stadium show, giving them all a pep talk while Lola's nowhere to be found. Tommy makes a point of hugging her tight enough to lift her off the ground.

“You keep me sane, Charlie.”

“Get off me you grub; wash the vomit out of your fuckin’ mouth!” Charlotte exclaims in protest.

Which is a sharp contrast to the reveal a few moments later, after following Zutaut asking after his girlfriend, to reveal Vince and Lola tag teaming said girlfriend. When they emerge, the rest of the band admonishes the pair of them, but Lola just rolls her eyes. When she steps away, Charlotte punches her in the shoulder and Lola blows a kiss to her.

“I found out many years later, and it hurt. Really bad.” Zutaut tells the audience in an aside, “bottom line is, don’t ever leave your girlfriend alone with Motley Crue, ever! Because they will fuck her.”

Another montage, of band rising in fame, posing for magazines, of meeting a then-relatively unknown Guns ‘n’ Roses, including shots heavily implying Charlotte’s burgeoning romance with Duff McKagan, and Lola’s equal parts mocking and supportive.

“How many chicks have you fucked so far?” Nikki asks, reclining, fully clothed, by the pool, enjoying a day off during their tour with Ozzy Osbourne.

“Three,” Vince tells him, eyes still glued to the ass of the girl who had just passed them all.

“No, not today, on the tour,” Nikki enthuses, and Vince’s expression lights up.

“Oh man,” he laughed in a dazed, high sort of way, “I lost count after that gangbang in Salt Lake City.” He chuckled, and by Tommy, Charlotte makes a noise of disgust, “prude.” Vince rolls his eyes at her where she’s sitting at the back of a chair with Lola on the end.

“She’s just mad ‘cos she left her own piece of ass in LA,” Lola snorted, and Charlotte shoves her from the chair.

“Did you ever stop to think that the slobs who fuck you guys probably fuck every other band who comes through town?” Mick cuts in with his characteristic monotone.

Charlotte sticks her tongue pointedly out at Lola, still sitting on the ground.

“I’m a one-band slob!” Lola turns her nose in the air as the rest of the band laughs.

“We’re like pussy brothers with the whole scene!” Tommy exclaims.

Ozzy Osbourne imparts his words of wisdom, snorts ants, and it’s followed by a montage of the band absolutely raising hell, setting fires, smashing up hotel rooms and throwing entire hotel rooms worth of furniture out of windows. There’s cocaine and nudity in abundance, intercut with a remake of the Looks That Kill music video, which featured both Lola and Charlotte.

Then, with the song rising in intensity, it cuts from Vince meeting Sharise, to Charlotte catching Duff cheating on her, and smash-cuts to Charlotte wielding a baseball bat.

“Sucks to suck!” She yells from where she’s standing on top of his car, and smashes his window.

“Fore!” Lola yells, delighting in the mayhem, and takes out his side mirror with a golf club.

And then they’re introducing Razzle; Penny, beside Jupiter, goes still.

His introduction is tongue in cheek and fond as he receives a blowjob under a table when he first meets the Crue.

“I fucking -” the shot cuts mid sentence and his eyes follow a brunette who passes in front of the camera, “ - love America.” And the camera pans out to reveal it’s Charlotte, with freshly died hair and a bloodthirsty expression. He stands, away from his band on the sofa in Vince’s house in the middle of a party.

He follows her to the bar, which Lola’s behind, eating cocktail onions and talking with Charlotte, who’s still mad about Duff.

“Hello, Miss Lee,” he says with a hint of nervousness. Lola watches the interaction with wide, amused eyes, and Charlotte turns, about ready to kill, but she sees Razzle’s earnest smile and unique look, and lets herself relax a little; he’s not Motley Crue or Guns ‘n’ Roses coming to bug her, but she knows him, if only because of Tommy.

“You’re always this proper, Hanoi boy?”

“The rock and roll scene in the eighties has never been known for being a breeding ground for soulmates as much as it had been for various venereal diseases,” Tommy’s voice over cuts in, “but fuck if Charlotte and Razzle weren’t the exception.”

There’s tabloids upon tabloids telling the audience about the hottest new couple, about Hanoi Rocks drummer and Motley Crue’s... well, they always call her something different, never anything nice.

“Every day blurred into the next back then,” Nikki told the audience over the visuals of a montage of various concerts, of Lola walking in on Charlotte and Razzle getting busy in a dressing room, of drinking and debauched parties in mansions, of Tommy meeting Roxie, “and yeah, maybe we started to loose ourselves, but fuck it, we’d never been happier.”

“Move in with me,” Vince tells Sharise. And the film smash cuts to -

“Marry me,” Roxie tells Tommy, and again, a smash cut -

“I’m fucking pregnant.” Charlotte whispers to herself in a dirty bathroom stall.

“Well,” Nikki’s voice over mused, before it cut to a shot of Lola and Nikki furiously tearing at each other’s clothes in the back of a tour bus, “we’d never been happier.”

After that, they’re on tour; Tommy’s parents meet Roxie, and subsequently Roxie calls Tommy’s mother a cunt since she’d said ‘Roxie’s like Lola; a groupie’.

The next scene has a tonal shift, a moment of levity as it’s the band meeting Charlotte’s baby, and in the theatre, all grown up, that baby finds herself with tears in her eyes. The band in the film loves her, as does Hanoi Rocks, who also get to meet her, and Charlotte and Razzle look so fucking proud.

They play God Bless The Children Of The Beast over a montage of baby Penelope growing up, of Charlotte finding herself at home while her various families - blood and not - had to go away on tour. She and Razzle call on the phone but there’s a party happening at his end, and she tries to call Tommy but he doesn’t pick up.

Razzle falls asleep in the studio, looking at a photo of Charlotte and Penny from his wallet, clearly still thinking about them, but he’s in Finland, writing music, and Charlotte just can’t leave the life she’s created. He wants to go back to her but he’s under contract.

Charlotte goes to visit Lola and Nikki, only to find their house trashed from a house party that she clearly hadn’t been invited to. Lola’s asleep on the lawn. Charlotte leaves without waking her.

When Charlotte calls Razzle again, his bandmate, Sami Yaffa picks up, and Charlotte starts crying, starts venting. Sami talks to Razzle about how he should see Charlotte more often, and Razzle, sleep deprived and missing Charlotte like a physical ache, asks why he cares so much.

Razzle flies to see Charlotte and they argue, Charlotte crying, Razzle desperate, both under pressure and acting irrational after not having seen each other for far too long. Penny, all of two years old, hovers in the doorway, watching as Charlotte pulls the engagement ring from her finger and tells Razzle she needs some space if he’s really going to accuse her of things after one phonecall with his bandmate.

“Have you heard from Charlotte?” Tommy’s speaking to Lola over the phone, and when she tells him she hasn’t, asks why, he hesitates. The audience doesn’t hear the rest of what he says, but Lola’s reaction says it all.

“In the years that have passed since this moment, I have become a much different woman, have learned to let go of my anger, have made peace with my past,” Lola’s first and only voice over segment is delivered with a soft, sad tone, “but I don’t think I’ll ever forgive the universe for taking Charlotte from us.”

“What did you do? What did you fucking do?!” Lola’s bawling as she confronts Razzle, who seems clueless, bewildered. Lola punches him in the face. “I know she left because you fought; what the fuck did you say to her to make her leave?” Lola shoves him, and he stumbles back, apologises even though he doesn’t quite know what he’s apologizing for. Lola grabs him by his collar, hollering, “she’s gone! They can’t fucking find her, and now she’s fucking gone!”

It hits him, the expression on his face changing to devastation, and Lola dissolves into tears, the fight leaving her as she cries against his shoulder.

“Charlotte?” His voice breaks, tears tracking down his cheeks, expression blank and shocked.

“It was never his fault.” Lola’s voice over murmurs.

Lola’s high at Charlotte’s funeral, clinging to Tommy and swaying, and Razzle’s holding baby Penny, who’s asking after Charlotte.

Penny’s full-on crying in the theatre, her face against Jupiter’s shoulder, who’s shocked and shaking beside her. Seo squeezes their hand, and then extracts his hand from theirs to pet Penny’s head.

Charlotte’s off her fucking face in the next scene, the party at Vince’s house, almost catatonic against Nikki as he snorts another line of coke. Tommy sees Heather Locklear and somehow she’s the most beautiful, most stable girl at the party, and she’s mean to him, and doesn’t say sorry for his loss, and he might be in love.

Razzle, who’s melancholy drunk, even though it’s been months since Charlotte’s death, goes with Vince to get more booze, even though they’re both drunk, and it all happens so fast, the car crash, making Penny an orphan all within five minutes of screen time.

“You can’t take her! You can’t fucking take her from me!” Tommy’s drunk and hollering at the older couple who’s picking up Penny; Razzle’s parents.

“Get your shit together, Thomas; if she stays with you people, what happened to- to Nicholas will happen to her, I know it will,” Razzle’s mother says with tears in her eyes, “we can’t let that happen.”

“She’s my niece! She’s Charlotte’s kid! She’s all I have left of her!”

They show Vince’s trial, and Penny’s baby photos from her time back in Finland, while Nikki narrated how he and Lola hadn’t even visited Vince in prison, as they’d discovered the wonders of heroin. Together, the drug had made their love invincible, as long as they never touched the outside world. But they bring Tommy in, and Mick’s tired of them all, and by the time Vince gets out of prison, newly sober, their lives had gone to shit.

Doc tries to fire Lola, but she laughs hazily and tells him he doesn’t have the authority, so Vince tries to fire her because she’s on heroin, and Lola takes a swing at him, but she misses and topples to the ground.

He calls her a mess and he’s right.

Lola and Nikki get better at acting like they’re not out of it, and Tommy gets his shit together with Heather, and by the time they’re working on their stage show for the Theatre of Pain tour, they’re in some sort of haphazard order. There’s something sad in Lola’s eyes when she tells Tommy that he and Heather are cute together, but they cut away to Vince and Skylar before it can linger too long.

Tommy mentions how he misses Penny when he sees Skylar, how she should be with him, with family, how he’s finally gotten his shit together.

But then they’re on tour, as narrated by Tommy over Girls, Girls, Girls, his debauched days away from Heather, despite their engagement. He mentions fucking Lola as:

“Two am, renew my mile high club membership by falling back into bad habits... and again at three am, and again at five in the bathroom of the strip club... I’m so fucking weak.”

Nikki sees his mother again after years, and even Lola can’t even bring him out of how hard he’s spiraling this time, self isolating, overdosing after Tommy’s wedding to Heather. Lola’s not at the wedding, but Penny is; she’s a flower girl and Tommy looks ecstatic.

Instead, we see Nikki flatline in the back of the ambulance, we see Vince watch the news reporting on his apparent death, and cut to a shot of Lola finishing a bottle of JD and letting herself fall into the pool on her and Nikki’s property.

Cutting back, Vince tells his daughter that he loves her, and he holds her tight, before a realization comes over him, and he tells her gently to go back to sleep.

The paramedics revive Nikki with enthusiasm, and then we see Vince running barefoot across Lola and Nikki’s lawn, before seeing her illuminated and floating in the pool. He dives in after her, and pulls her out, performs CPR while crying, telling her that he can’t lose her too. Spluttering to life, Lola, soaking wet and still undeniably drunk, tells him he should have left her in there. The scene fades to black as Vince cradles her to his chest.

Nikki tells the audience that he’s hit rock bottom, that he’d start to make a change to his life... right after he goes back to heroin again.

The band, and Lola, go to rehab, and little by little things start to get better. More than anything, they’re trying, Nikki’s trying to enjoy feelings again, but Lola’s uncomfortable, and everyone’s on each other’s nerves; without the drugs and alcohol, it seems like the music isn’t sounding right.

“I forget what happened,” Mick tells the audience in an aside, “it’s all a blur. But with Dr Feelgood we got our first number one album,” and the visuals change to that of their various concerts over The Same Ol’ Situation, “and I think we played something like a billion shows to a billion people in a billion cities all over the world, and it was our first tour without Lola, as she was off being having another kid -”

“First kid, you senile fuck,” Lola’s voice over interrupts with annoyance.

Tommy tries to call Heather, but she doesn’t pick up. Vince tries to call Sharise but she won’t let him talk to his daughter. They’re all getting burnt out, it’s clear to see.

“Guys, I really fucked up,” Tommy sits down with the band at an after party, looking conflicted, “Heather’s been all weird and distant, and...” he hesitated, “I’m pretty sure Lola’s kid’s mine.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Nikki snaps, leaning forward, teeth bared, “no fucking wonder Heather’s been weird, Lola’s only -”

“Ten weeks along, I know -” and Vince looks almost physically ill.

“How the fuck do you know the kid’s yours?”

“Because,” Tommy hesitated, “it was right before Nikki OD’ed.”

“Right before your fucking wedding,” Mick spat, and Tommy at least had the decency to look guilty. Nikki looks genuinely hurt.

“Fuck you, man, you’ve already got the wife and fucking kid -” Nikki growled.

“Look, I’m not fucking proud of myself!”

“Go fuck yourself.”

Vince ends the argument by announcing bitterly that he needs a fucking drink, that he’s sick of not having any fucking fun, and the whole band deteriorates from there.

They get back to LA; Sharise has left Vince, Heather leaves Tommy, Nikki comes home to a heavily pregnant Lola, but looks at her like he can’t believe she’d betray him.

“What if we gave this a shot,” Tommy asks Lola when she comes to him in tears, and she sniffles, blinks in confusion, “us, me and you and Penny, and baby Lee, what if we gave it a real shot?”

When Jupiter is born, it’s just Lola and Tommy in the aftermath, looking happier than they have in a very long while. Looking hopeful.

They call the baby Jupiter, and in the theatre, Jupiter themselves is shocked.

“You didn’t... deadname me.” They muttered quietly over their shoulder, and Lola gives a small, sad smile, shaking her head. Of course not.

The hope they feel in the film is shortlived, as Nikki and Tommy get into a fight, over Vince, but the tension is more than just his absence. Vince leaves the band, and the world feels fractured. They get a new lead singer, but it doesn’t feel the same, and when Tommy gets home to see her making dinner with Penny helping out, and Jupiter in a bassinet on the kitchen island, his smile is a little sad, a little forlorn. Lola smiles at him, but something about it isn’t quite right.

Vince sees the band do an interview without him, and while it’s disheartening, it’s overshadowed by his daughter in hospital. He tries to tell her it’ll be okay, but it’s not working, she’s terrified and teary and young, and it’s breaking Vince’s heart.

When the band’s not together, they’re falling apart.

Skylar is dying, Mick’s in pain, reminiscing about the band’s early years, and Nikki gets the rights back to their music as their record label drops them.

“This is what you wanted,” Zutaut tells him, “are you happy?”

Nikki doesn’t answer.

Tommy asks Lola if she loves him. She answers; of course, but there’s something sad about it.

“And Nikki?”

“I’ve always loved him,” her voice is quiet, and Tommy gives her a sad smile.

“I know, Lols.”

The scene cuts, and Nikki’s sitting alone in his backyard, drinking a beer.

“I had our music back, but Zutaut was right; we were better before. Now I just had to get the band back,” he paused in his voice over, and there was a knock on a window near where he’d been sitting. Looking up suddenly, wildly, the camera reveals Lola, looking both nervous and hopeful, “but first I needed her back. The first person I’d given half a shit about.”

“Lola.” He says in the scene, getting out of his chair, voice disbelieving. Lola nods, steps forward, smiles.

“I’ve missed you.”

Then Vince loses Skylar, his whole world falling apart as Sharise sobs, and Nikki goes to visit his father’s. Frank Ferrana is dead, died on Christmas day, and so he leaves, goes back to where Lola’s waiting.

He needs the band back, and he goes to Tommy first.

“Hey man,” Tommy opens the door, exhaling a lung full of smoke.

“What I did at your wedding,” Nikki starts, swallowing hard, “I didn’t...” he fumbles through his words while Tommy stares him down, waits for an apology, “and... and with the whole thing with Lola, I -”

“What’s up, Nikki?” Tommy grumbles, taking another drag of his cigarette.

“I was really fucking selfish, and I shit on something that was important to you, both times, and I am really sorry.” He explains, sincerity clear in his words.

“I know you pretty well, Sixx, so I kind of get it,” Tommy sighs, before adding, “and it’s okay.” He pauses, before grinning, “but could you say that last part one more time for me?” He snickers.

“Don’t fucking push it, T-bone.” Nikki rolls his eyes with a grin as Tommy laughs, and invites him inside.

“I’m really sorry about... about Lola.” Nikki adds, a little guilty as he steps inside.

“Yeah,” Tommy puts on a show of being a little disappointed, “I’m pretty sure she’s gonna end up the one that got away.” He muses, and Nikki apologises, again, much to Tommy’s delight, “nah, man, it’s all cool, you fuckers have been in love since you were sixteen; I know she loves me, but it’s never gonna be the same.” He gives Nikki a good-natured shove.

There’s no hard feelings, and Jupiter meets Nikki - Uncle Nikki - with delight.

Tommy and Nikki find Mick after his surgery, pick him up to go find Vince, and with gentle words they get the blonde back. Nikki’s got a speech, because he’s always got a speech, about how they’re brothers in arms, about how their friendship means more than any fucking band, and when he apologises about what happened to Skylar, Vince breaks down. No-one can blame him.

The last shot starts with Lola, a few months pregnant and holding a clipboard, knocking on a door that says Nikki Sixx, calling his name.

He opens the door, smiles at her, and gives her a kiss before she goes to get the rest of the band, one by one, as Home Sweet Home plays. They walk to the stage, the four of them, grinning, back in action, back at home. They walk onto stage, and Nikki gives a smile to the camera.

In loving memory of Charlotte Lee and Nicholas “Razzle” Dingley.

The credits rolls, and the theater bursts into applause, Jupiter and Penny clinging to each other and bawling.

“You did good, Penny, you did so fucking good,” Jupiter tells her, before moving back, and turning to see their mother, with tear-stained cheeks, watching the pair with pride in her eyes. Without hesitation, Jupiter leans forward to hug their mother tightly, both sobbing.

“I love you, Jupiter,” Lola murmurs against her shoulder.

“I love you too, mom.”

#Razzle Dingley #Tommy Lee #tommy lee imagine #nikki sixx #nikki sixx imagine #razzle dingley imagine #razzle x charlotte #mick mars #vince neil #the dirt #motley crue #the dirt imagine #motley crue imagine #the angry lizard writes

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royz-yade · 5 years ago

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Royz Tomoya Rock and Read 064 Interview (English Translation)

Magazine: Rock&Read 064 Release Date: February 2016 Type of Interview: Personal Interview Scans by: kiba153chan (thank you!!) Translator: VerwelktesGedicht for Royz-yade

– Tomoya-san, were you living in Osaka all the time until you moved to Tokyo? No, I was born in Sakai, Osaka, but during my 2nd year of elementary school we moved to Okayama. I lived there for five years and returned to Sakai in my 2nd year of middle school.

– Aren’t there any memories you have from the time before you went to Okayama? There are! I was very lively and was a kid that hurt himself a lot (laugh) When I realized “It’s raining!!” I ran around at the corridor, bumped into the sink and got a wound you had to stitch up. This started around the first year of elementary school.

– You were wild (laughs) So you were playing outside a lot? Yes. I liked competitions and I hated it if someone was faster than me. I didn’t want to lose to anyone. I also didn’t like it when I lost at swimming, so I practiced a lot. Since a long time ago I hated to lose.

– And then you moved to Okayama. In Okayama as well I ran around a lot (laughs) In front of our house there was a river and I went fishing. I also played a lot at the kindergarden. I liked the playground of the nearby kindergarden more than the one of my elementary school.

– What could you do there? There were many things to do. There was a net you could climb at and there was a climbing pole and the slide was going round. It was like a jungle gym.

– You where sporty, weren’t you? Yes! I liked it a lot! I even got along very well with the teachers there.

– That’s nice (laughs) Do you have siblings? I have a five-year-older brother (onii-chan). Back then I went fishing with the friends of my brother but when he entered high school they made fun of me a lot (laughs)

– Did you listen to music a lot? I was a kid that barely listened to music. Even though I did go to karaoke with my parents all we sang together were songs like “tentou mushi no samba”.

– That’s a wedding song!! (laughs) Somehow I remember that quite well (laughs)

– You said you learned swimming but did you also do other sports? In my fourth year of elementary school I started athletics in school. Not a particular type, we rather played tag or cops and robbers. It was that kind of club (laughs) But at the sports festival I thought I should do something and I took part in a relay race.

– In elementary school doesn’t a relay race mean that you were a hero? Yes, it should mean that!? Isn’t that normal? I wasn’t at all (laughs)

– Why!? (laughs) I don’t know (laughs) Being able to run fast in elementary school should make you popular… But actually I was just a kid who wanted to do sports.

– But in middle school, when you hit puberty, a couple of things have changed, haven’t they? Not much changed. I still went to the playground.

– You loved playgrounds so much (laughs) Well, I just liked moving around (laughs) And I went on a long trip with my bike. And after that, at a Game Center, I played “Dance Dance Revolution”.

– It’s said that people being good at this game already left the sphere of being human. That was the next part of my life.

– Really!? When I went to professional school I entered the Top100 of Japan [in this game].

– I have the impression that you do that with a really high speed. Hahaha. I was really slow.

– Unexpected (laughs) You returned to Sakai (Osaka) then. It was lonely, wasn’t it? Yes. I already had many friends [in Okayama] and there came so many to our house for my goodbye party. When they left in their cars, I ran behind them. It was really like a dorama about youth (laughs) But when I returned to Sakai the circle of friends from my elementary school has gotten bigger. My best friend from kindergarden had become a yankie and didn’t go to school anymore but when I came back that friend started to go to school with me again. But when I got more friends that person started not going to school again.

– A nice person! Yes, it was so nice! But since he was a yankie, I also became part of the yankie team (laughs)

– I see. How did this work out with your school life? Even though it was Sakai we lived quite at the countryside. In Okayama I participated in high jump but after returning to Sakai I started with hurdling. Actually I wanted to do sprint but there were so many people who could sprint well and I thought that it’s too difficult and that it’s not the level we had in Okayama! (laughs) I started hurdling that nobody did. I had pretty good results in the qualifying test and was among the Top 8! But when it got serious I lost by far (laughs)

– Because the hurdles were so high (laughs) Did you already start to listen to music at that time? During the end of middle school I was interested in A cappella. I wanted to take part in “hamonepu” (a tv programm) and gathered my friends around me for that. But they weren’t interested in it at all and we never made it to practice. Then, when I graduated from middle school, there wasn’t really anything special I wanted to do, so my parents told me that it would be better to have a job. That’s why I went to a technical college. But then I realized that this isn’t what I want to do and when they introduced the club activities and I watched my Sempai making pop music I wondered if I can do that also with A cappella. My advisory teacher also told me that this would be completely fine and so I joined. But… there weren’t any people who wanted to do A cappella (laughs)

– Well, they want to play an instrument (laughs) I wanted to do voice percussion and when I told them that they said that that the closest to that would be drums and if I don’t want to try. That was the time I came into contact with drums for the first time. And unexpectedly I could actually hit them well. Even the 8beat I could do right away, so I thought that this might really work out!

– And then you were in a band. What songs did you play? We only did cover songs. We often played songs of MONGOL800-san and L’Arc en Ciel-san. From there on we went with X JAPAN and played more and more Visual Kei songs. My Sempai who played the guitar had to repeat a year and I thought I can just jump in and did so along the way. But that guy liked Visual Kei and brought songs by Raphael we played. At that time we still didn’t use any kind of make up though.

– So the reason you started with Visual Kei was thanks to your Sempai? Yes. And the bassist also liked it.

– Did you already hold lives back then? We did at many events from our school and also had a session band with people from another school and performed at our city festival. We started playing original songs around my third year of high school.

– With all these songs you played, was there some that clicked? L’Arc en Ciel was a big thing for me. Regarding the drum phrases, there were some really difficult ones but also some for beginners, so they really helped me. And I practiced playing two bass drums with X JAPAN songs.

– Did you have drums at home? I had part time jobs and bought a drum set for beginners for 50.000 Yen. I closed the thin paper doors and hit the drums.

– Where there people who complained about it? There were. But my mother was on my side (laughs) I didn’t show up [at the door then] but she told me light-heartedly: “There were complains again.”

– She didn’t tell you to stop? She did say that I have to stop late at night or when we have guests but except for those times she let me hit the drums the whole time. She just said things like “I can’t hear the TV~~” (laughs)

– Hahaha. And did you think at that time that in the future you want to be a drummer? No, I didn’t. Rather than thinking “I want to become popular and sell my music!” I just enjoyed playing it. That’s why when we had to decide for our future path I said that I want to go to a music college because I liked hitting the drums. Right away they told me “No.”. But because I continued saying I want to go my parents gave in.

– And you went to music college. Before I went, I didn’t think I was good at playing the drums. But when I joined, our class got separated into something like “good”, “normal”, “horribly bad”. I was sorted into the middle class and this showed me how reality was.

– The middle class was probably the most difficult one. Yes. I didn’t feel like giving up but the people in the better class were really awesome guys. I didn’t know what was the best to do. Also, in the end it wasn’t like “school”. In the first year I had to study so much because I didn’t know any basics. I came to like it less and less. I didn’t like the classes. And because of that there were also times when I even started to dislike playing the drums.

– But you didn’t think about quitting. Back then I already was in a band and thanks to that I continued playing. After joining that college there was a meeting right away about people searching for members. That was how I joined the band and we even already used make up and held lives. After getting into college I started coloring my hair. People looked at me and said right away “This guy is Visual Kei!” and that’s how I entered that world. I wanted to try on Visual Kei as well and because I thought that coloring my hair was kind of Visual Kei-ish, I did it (laughs)

– What a success! But that band disbanded and I was in about four bands during my college years. I also helped a bit as support member and for recordings. I asked my teacher and there were also tests that introduced me to many different things. I accepted them and they turned out to be positive. My parents also told me to do many different things.

– You can move your body in a good way… That’s how you got that amazing score at Dance Dance Revolution (laughs) Yes (laughs). I stopped doing that once. When I started going to college I realized that I have improved a lot, so I started again. From that time I told my friends that I would be super happy if in the future our songs could be chosen at Dance Dance Revolution. With Royz I made that dream come true.

– Ooh! But you still can do that for Guitarfreaks and Drummania. But probably… When it comes to Dance Dance Revolution and Visual Kei there was only Golden Bomber-san. By the way, they let me compose the most difficult notes. I thought that I’ll make them complicated! (laughs)

– They really seem to be difficult (laughs) Coming back to the original talk, you had quite a couple of bands. My time as support member was the longest time though. I even made the experience that not one single person came to see us live. We even were the headliners but the people who came to the live all returned home and we were asked that evening: “Even if there is no fan left, are you still gonna perform?”

– And did you? We did but it was rather practice. The vocal was encouraging the live house’s staff. Like: “Are you ready?!” (laughs) Departing from that band, I tried it one more time with the guys from my local high school. When we started searching for members, I met Kazuki.

– And you felt like this band didn’t make any steps forward? Yes. We had twin vocals but why were those two always screaming “Voy Voy!” together (laughs)

– So it wasn’t that one of them sang the melody and the other one did the shouting… (laughs) There was completely no meaning in having two vocals. When we disbanded Kazuki and I wondered if we shall try to form a new band together. We realized that we wanted to have a band that has more songs with melody.

– And that’s when you started Royz. But before starting band activities with Royz we were actually active underground for about one year. That time we had many member changes. Kazuki departed once and only Koudai and I were left. Before Koudai became our bassist we had about three other guys and about 3 or 4 guitarists. Subaru was our 2nd vocalist. There were so many changes that we really wondered how we can do that. That was all while working part time. The shop owner asked me if I don’t want to work there properly full time and I was considering it a lot.

– We’re considering those things when there are times we’re unsure about everything. Yes. My parents also asked me what I want to do and I decided on an age limit. If I can’t reach anything until that age, I would start searching for a proper job.

– And you made it in time. No, it was already the time when I really properly considered if I shall accept a job at a particular company or not. But I had a good feeling [about the band], so I told my parents to let me do this just a bit longer. And it made me think that my parents are really so nice.

– Looking back at it now, do you think you were a bother to the people around you? Yes (laughs) I think I asked many selfish things.

– So, you set up a time limit for yourself. Did you also get the feeling that because of this, Royz would be your last band? But since I was working a lot, it’s not that [the money we gained with the band] really saved me (bitter laugh) Koudai was properly active with the band. When Kazuki left I was alone, just like in the beginning, and there were days when I really wondered if I can do this.

– Kazuki-san and you formed this band. What did you think when the conversation about him leaving came up? Hmm… Somehow… I thought that this was the only thing to do. It made me go “seriously??” but since he decided for this, there was nothing I could do. And of course I was afraid of how things would go on.

– But there was nothing left to do but look forward. Yes. I’m that kind of person. I think I’m a mentally strong person. People are being stopped when they feel stress but I’m an optimistic person, so it didn’t make me depressed.

– Doesn’t your way of thinking save many people? Smoothing the tension, when you start talking the atmosphere changes. That’s why during interviews with you, I’m also not nervous. Hahahahahaha.

– I don’t think the other three are like that, so it makes me think that this ability is very important to keep the balance in Royz. Aah. That’s also something the other members told me. “If you weren’t here, we definitely wouldn’t have come this far.”

– I think the same. But it also led to troubles in the past. When our Tears-tour started, I was pretty serious.

– What happened? I think it’s super childish. I wanted to do this and wanted to do that. Even though the members‘ steps should be together, there were many times when I talked to the label alone. That time was hard.

– When did that start? I think after we turned into a 4-member band. But even before that I also think that we all somehow felt that something was about to change. But people don’t change that easily. I’ve learned a lot back then. We did talk about it and realized that we are about to change. We were also told by the people around us that we have changed but we ourselves didn’t properly know it.

– But the harmony didn’t really change. No (laughs) That was still left.

– But your works and lives did change. Yes. The relationship with our fans is pretty good. In the beginning it was “I!”. That feeling was very strong. Now it’s “What can we do, so that our fans have fun?” That feeling has priority now. But of course, if we don’t enjoy it, our fans wouldn’t either. That’s why we continue doing things also we enjoy.

– Last year you went on 47-prefecture-tour. Was that something big for you? It was huge. Until that time the longest tour was 30 concerts. It was a completely different thing to make it 47. There were also more and more places we’ve never been to and fans were waiting there for us. While we were giving concerts these people were smiling in such a wonderful way. It felt like this was a tour during which we felt like returning to this fresh, new feeling we had in the beginning. That’s what we were hoping for. Of course we were also happy that many people came to see us but those shining smiles that were telling us “I was finally able to see you live!”… I really liked that. Also the places we’ve been to before… I came to know them in a more deeper way and also the communication between us and the fans got stronger. We also went to see the famous places of those cities when we had a bit of free time.

– The four of you together? Yes.

– You’re really good friends, aren’t you? Hahahaha. You can also see it in our documentary (this interview has been held in mid-January) but it’s really amazing. I was usually driving the car and we really made it to various places. I also wanted to take a photo together with our Royz-go [the car], so I used it for this time’s photo shooting.

– You did. But speaking of this change, that you changed or didn’t change, I’d rather call it “growing”. That would be nice.

– This year as well you will go on a 47-prefecture tour following your new album. And the place we were shooting today was the hall of the tour final at Odaiba. Since our Supernova-tour we are holding our tour finals at Zepp [DiverCity]. For our THE BEGINNING final we had more people come to our live than before but we still couldn’t make it being sold out. Right now, rather than walking forward as a band, we want to make this place being sold out. That’s why we decided on this place.

– Making Zepp DiverCity being sold out is a goal you can reach soon. But you don’t think that it’s enough now? I wonder if it is. Since THE BEGINNING we’ve decided to properly tell our fans what we are feeling in our heart. The concerts are important but is it really that important? We started to think that way.

– Explaining your thoughts and feelings is the most important task Subaru-san has to do, isn’t it? Yes.

– But Subaru-san holds really good MCs now, doesn’t he? Yes! Recently they are really good! We’ve learned a lot during our “FAMILY PARTY” time – also personally. At the previous countdown live Junji-san (Kiryu) let me play on his drumset but it really made me think: “It’s so different!”. When you’re sitting there, there is a lot of space in front of your eyes and I could see the fans so well. My drumset has cymbals in front of my eyes, so I barely see the fans. I changed that this year. I tried different things because I thought I want to bandy looks with the fans more often. You can’t convey anything if nobody can see your face, so I thought it would be nice if I can see more. I’m a person that people around me can’t see often.

– This isn’t only about your drumset, is it? Correct. But I get told that often (laughs) When I’m concentrating on something, I don’t have any interest in anything else.

– Maybe that also reflects in your drumset. I really think so (bitter laugh). I arranged it in a way that it was easy for me to play the drums. But I thought it would be better if more people can see me. Somehow I missed the timing and didn’t talk about it until now but actually I’m the band’s leader now.

– What?! Since when? Since quite a while (laughs) Koudai who used to be our leader for a long time gave this title to Subaru and Subaru gave it to me. (laughs)

– I see! (laughs) When the topic of who will be the leader came up, we were lost for while but in the end we needed to change it. Around that time I was told that people don’t really see me and I thought that might change if I become the leader. That’s why I said I’m gonna do and want to try it. But actually… it hasn’t changed for me (laughs)

– Well, it will happen little by little. It’s awesome that you feel like people come to see you. Yes! For me it’s my weakness (laughs) If I can achieve that, I think I can become a great person. All of the members complement each other. Right now it feels like we have a perfect balance… But I’ll still give my best to become a great person (laughs)

#royz #tomoya #translation #happy birthday tomoya!!

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edward-trumpet-blog · 4 years ago

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Rick Braun:Life in the Fast Lane

BY TOM ERDMANN

Trumpeter, producer, composer, and arranger Rick Braun is an excellent example of a musician who has quietly worked hard for many years and suddenly is recognized as an “overnight success.” His album with saxophonist Boney James, Shake It Up, was number one on the Billboard magazine Contemporary Jazz Album chart for 11 weeks and has moved around in the top five positions for over a year. The first single from that album, Grazin’ In The Grass, hit number one and stayed there for nine weeks, crossed over to the R&B charts, and was named Best Song of the Year at the 2001 Oasis Smooth Jazz Awards. Braun’s awards also include the 2001 Oasis Smooth Jazz Award of or Best Brass Player and Best Collaboration with Boney James.

Born in Allentown, Pennsylvania on July 6, 1955, Braun took up the trumpet in third grade, studied with Philadelphia Orchestra trumpeter Seymour Rosenfeld, graduated from Dieruff High School in Allentown, and enrolled at he Eastman School of Music. While at Eastman, he was a founding member of the fusion group called Auracle. Their distinctive style was quickly imitated by a number of jazz groups and their recordings became mainstays on jazz radiostations through out the northeast. Braun’s first song to hit the Billboard Top 20 was Here With Me, written for the rock band REO Speedwagon. As a trumpet sideman, Braun has worked and toured with an incredible list of musicians including Tina Turner , Rod Stewart, Glenn Frey, Natalie Cole, Rickie Lee Jones, and War.

Braun released his first solo album in 1992. It was, however, his time with Sade on her Love Deluxe tour that helped him focus on a unique style. Braun’s second recording, Night Walk, has been likened to “listening to Sade instrumentally.” Braun’s big break came on the heel s of his third recording, Beat Street, which spent 13 weeks as the number one contemporary jazz album in Billboard magazine, breaking a record previously held by K enny G . Beat S treet was eventually named the Smooth Jazz Record of the Year. It also won the G avin Artist of the Year and Album of the Year awards in 1996. Braun’s next release, Body and Soul, earned him another Gavin Artist of the Year award. His latest release, Kisses in the Rain, has also hit number one on the Billboard chart.

Braun has never been busier or happier than he is right now. Offered more playing and producing opportunities than he can possibly accept, he is also in demand as a jazz musician performing in clubs throughout the Los Angeles area. Braun is truly enjoying his time in the fast lane and doesn’t show any signs of slowing down.

TE: Why did you choose to play the trumpet?

RB: One of my older brothers played the trumpet and because of that there was a trumpet in a closet at home when I was eight years old. As a kid I was into everything, including the closet. I found the trumpet, put the mouthpiece in, and found that I could get a sound out of it. I think everybody who has ever played the trumpet knows that some people can get a sound out of the instrument, and some people can’t. It’ s not an instrument like the guitar where you just put your hand over the strings and a sound comes out. My first choice had been drums, but I grew up in a small row home in Allentown and I’m one of six kids, so as you can imagine, I was gently steered away from the drums. What my parents didn’t know was that the trumpet was the next most annoying instrument for a beginner to play. I didn’t give up much in the way of offense (laughing); I was still able to annoy my siblings!

TE: Did you come from a musical family?

RB: My mother, who is 84 now, is still very musical and has a good ear. She’s a self taught banjo player.

She played a four-string banjo, the really old kind, and learned piano by herself. On her side of the family my grandfather was a country fiddle player, my grandmother played the piano, and one of my uncles played the cornet. All of the musical talent was on my mother’s side. When my dad tried to sing to us kids at night we would pretend we were asleep so we wouldn’t have to listen to him. The only song he knew was the Notre Dame Fight Song, and he didn’t even like Notre Dame!

TE: I have read that you studied with Seymour Rosenfeld. I had the pleasure of interviewing him and was impressed by what a nice man he is.

RB: You know, he really is.

TE: When did you study with him and how was he able to help you?

RB: I started studying with him my junior or senior year in high school, during the early 1970s. We got into some of the mor e advanced trumpet studies, like thematerial from the Saint-Jacome Trumpet Method and other materials of that nature. He was also the first teacher to introduce me to orchestral excerpts. He wanted me to audition for the Curtis Institute and was really preparing me for that, but I didn’t get in. That year they took only one trumpeter from about 100 who auditioned. As it was I ended up at Eastman, where I really wanted to study jazz.

TE: Were there any other early teachers who inspired you?

RB: My first trumpet teacher, Richard Hinkoe, was great. He is still active as a director of one of the Allentown concert bands. My brother told Hinkoe about me and he agreed to teach me. Hinkoe brought me along especially in music theory. His high school theory courses covered collegiate-level material. When I arrived at Eastman I was put in with the advanced placement theory students and didn’t learn anything new . Hinkoe’s theory course included solfege, sight-singing, counterpoint, four -part harmonic writing, the rules �� of contrary motion and correct resolution, dominants, altered sixth-chords, and more! He was an amazing teacher!

TE: Allen Vizzutti has told me what an incredible experience Eastman was for him. What was Eastman like for you?

RB: Allen and I played together i n some of the bands at Eastman. He can play anything! I was at a concert where he played one of the Verne Reynolds etudes as a solo. He is just an amazing player. Eastman, on the other hand, was very tense. It was a nerve-wracking experience.

There was one student who developed a nervous habit of pulling out his own hair. I remember during winter midterms one year someone starting lighting couches on fire. That was one side of it. On the other side, it was an outstanding educational experience that was just not for the faint-hearted. It was a highly competitive atmosphere. I had a friend who would get up at 5 a.m. and practice out on the lawn to try to get an edge on everybody else. In many ways Eastman was a humbling experience for me. While in high school, I thought I was the hottest thing around, so I needed to be humbled! The major thing Eastman gave me was exposure to music I’d never heard before, like the music of Clifford Brown, Miles Davis, and Freddie Hubbard. I really started to listen to their playing. I worked to understand the way they played blues changes and how their styles were put together. The education I received at Eastman was exceptional.

TE: Did you graduate?

RB: No I didn’t. I finished my junior year and later took some extra classes at UCLA, but some of the guys in Auracle (Steve Raybine, percussion; Ron Wagner, drums; Bill Staebell, bass; John Serry Jr., piano) were one year older than me, had graduated, and were itching to do something. We planned our next step and realized California was the place we ought to be, so we headed west. Steve Kujala (Auracle’s woodwind player) and I left Eastman one year early, much to the chagrin of our families. It all worked out in the end.

TE: What happened once you arrived in California?

RB: We landed in a band house in the San Fernando Valley. Steve Kujala, Bill Staebell, Ron Wagner, and I all lived together. John Serry and Steve Raybine lived in another house. We struggled, made two records, and played the Montreux Jazz Festival, which w as a big deal. It was fun, we were all good friends, and got a little taste of what it was like to be recording artists at a very early age. Then the whole situation blew up. Our label, Chrysalis, broke up the band after our first recording by signing John Serry to a solo deal. He made a couple of records that didn’t sell well while the rest of us went ahead and made our second record. None of us was really up to the task of filling Serry’s shoes at that point, and it did not go well. It’s the classic story of a record label taking one guy out of a band and destroying the chemistry.

TE: After the band broke up and you found yourself living in California, what happened?

RB: That was probably the darkest time of career. I was not yet established as a trumpet player.

I had some early experiences at session work, but for whatever reason, at that early age, I wasn't able to break into the TV, movie, or commercial scene. I ended up doing odd jobs outside of the music business in order to make enough money to live. I remember being so broke that I wrote a bad check in order to buy food, but ended up taking the food back because I just could not go through with it. I would look at the phone wondering if it was off the hook because nobody was calling. Then, slowly, things picked up. I started to get some gigs playing with Latin bands in East Los Angeles and that developed into steady work. Then I got into playing with rhythm and blues bands and out of that work started touring with War. I also played a lot of bars and weddings, whatever I could find, and joined Jack Mack and the Heart Attacks. They were an R&B band that was very popular on the west coast. As a result of being in that horn section I began working with Glenn Frye and some other well-connected musicians including the guys in Tower of Power. I actually played in their horn section on a Tom Petty record (I played piccolo trumpet on that recording). At some point during that time I hooked up with some of the ended up receiving a call to join that band. I had been struggling, and all of a sudden I’m touring the country with Rod Stew art in a private plane, staying at Four Seasons hotels, and making more money than I ever had in my life. It was both a blessing and a curse. The blessing was that I was better off financially than I had ever been; the curse was that I started to get into drugs and began to drink a lot. On the road there are plenty of ways to get into trouble as far as substance abuse is concerned. The good new s is that I bottomed out and sobered up, and that became a major turning point in my life.

TE: Wasn’t it a kick to play for so many people nigh after night?

RB: It was amazing. I think the most people I ever played for was during a show I did with War in Chicago when the first African-American mayor of that city was elected. The city held a huge concert in Lincoln Park with several hundred thousand people. People were as far back as you could see. The columns of speakers went on forever. I’ve been fortunate; I’ve played for quite a few people in my life.

TE: How did your association with REO Speedwagon come about?

RB: When I wasn’t on the road with Rod, I come back to L.A. and look for gigs. As part of the Jack Mack horn section I played on a n album with REO Speedwagon. The lead singer and writer of REO, Kevin Cronin, and I became friends. Kevin and I had been playing clubs together in a band we had put together with some of the REO Speedwagon guys and some other people. We were both going through hard times over women so I wrote a song about my experience. I had composed it like the Beatles song Yesterday, just a series of verses. Kevin heard it and liked it, and was able to come up with a chorus that really fit the tune. He played it for the guys in the band and they loved it. REO Speedwagon recorded it and it went into the top 20.

TE: Can you tell me how your first solo record came about?

RB:I happened to be in Canada on the road with Rod Stewart and through Steve Kujala I had been introduced to Frank Davies, who is a publisher in Toronto, Canada. I met with Frank one afternoon and played him some of my songs. I invited him to come to the show that night, and it turned out he had worked for Rod way back on his first single. It’s a small world! When Frank heard my instrumental material he said he thought he could get me a deal. He took it from Toronto to Burbank, just 30 miles from where I was living, and got me an independent deal with Mesa/Bluemoon. On Intimate Secrets, my first record, I included a song called Theme from t he Midnight Caller. That song got some significant airplay. My next compact disc was Night walk, followed by Beat Street. During this time I went back on the road with Rod. We were in Europe when my manager called and said that, in America, Beat Street was getting a lot of attention and doing so well that I was going to have to make a decision. I was either going to have to continue to be a highly-paid sideman or give my notice and take the solo gigs that didn’t pay a lot of money but would help me build a career as a leader. I took all of two seconds to think that over. I gave Rod my notice and jumped on a plane back to the States. I was willing to take the risk.

TE: That had to be an exciting time.

RB: It was really exciting. When I first came out with Intimate Secrets, the promotion guy at Mesa/Bluemoon was trying to get some airplay for the recording. He told me that many stations would not play it because it featured a trumpet lead. At that time the only horn players getting airtime were saxophone players. I finally broke through when Beat Street was released and won Artist and CD of the Year Awards at the Gavin Convention (Gavin covers the American radio industry, collecting and compiling the playlists of more than 1, 300 radio stations). Beat Street broke Kenny G’s record for most consecutive weeks as the number one contemporary jazz record and helped set me up as a solo artist.

TE: You have stated that work you did with Sade was important to your musical development. Can you elaborate?

RB: The Sade tour was important because she helped me establish a style. Sade's whole show is about sensuality. I've never been a b listening lead trumpet player, and that tour gave me direction and helped me solidify the idea that I don't have to be an Arturo Sandoval type of player in order to get my message across. Sade is a minimalist on stage. From that, I realized that what I have to offer as a musician is valid, and as long as I believe in it and I'm committed to it, I can create a musical fingerprint.

TE: (Jazz saxophonist) Joe Lovano once told me that the great ar tists have a sound that is recognizable in the first three notes. I remember he and I were laughing about the truth to tha t statement and he said,“Three notes, boom, John Coltrane; three notes, boom, Eric Dolphy.”

RB: That is it exactly. Look at Miles.

TE: I read a critic who said that you are the man who reintroduced the trumpet to the contemporary jazz scene. For the longest time, the only music that was getting played by horn players was by saxophonists. How does it feel to have had that kind of an effect on the music scene?

RB: It feels good that I've got a house I can pay for by doing the thing I love to do. That is the ultimate gift—doing what I want to do for a living. I am amazingly fortunate. I think part of the reason I've been so blessed has to do with timing. When I came out with Beat Street, there was a need for another voice. At that time there were only saxophonists like Grover (Washington Jr.), David Sanborn, and Kirk Whalum; George Benson on guitar; and David Benoit and Joe Sample on keyboards. After Chuck Mangione stopped getting airplay, the only other candidate was Herb Alpert, and he had stopped making records with any degree of frequency. There was a window of opportunity and I was fortunate to be in a position to make records. Another thing that happened with Beat Street is that people started coming up to me and saying, "Man, I knew that hip-hop beat was going to catch on." Interestingly enough, the production on that album was minimal at a time w hen bands like The Rippingtons and SpyroGyra were doing complicated material. Beat Street by comparison is really very sparse.

TE: I have to admit I hate the term “smooth jazz,” but there are a number of traditional jazz musicians who have been putting out albums under that title; saxophonist Kenny Garrett and keyboardist Rachel Z come to mind. It seems that many jazz artists are going in this direction. I have found that with the best players there is no snobbery in music anymore.

RB: Well, I wish that were true for everyone. We cannot get a decent hearing from any of the reviewers in Los Angeles. The L.A. Times has the door totally shut. The reviewers won't even stay for the shows. I had a conversation with one of them who just started slamming the music. I was convinced he hadn't even listened to my record, which turned out to be true. I told him that maybe he should listen to it before being critical. He did go home and listen to my compact disc, and called me back to say that he enjoyed it.

TE: I've let a number of my collegiate jazz students borrow some of your recordings. The other day one of them came by and mentioned how he was surprised and delighted that you find ways to go past stereotypical smooth jazz, both harmonically and melodically.

RB: Last week I played a straight-ahead gig with Gerald Albright on saxophone, Harvey Mason on drums, Dave Garfield on keyboards, and Kenny Wild on bass. We played at the Baked Potato, which is just a little club here in California. We didn't tell anyone we were going to do it, but as often happens, word spread. For me, it is just so much fun to play straight-ahead. And when I practice, I practice that way. I practice scales, flexibility, etc. For me, the way I'm going to improve as a player is by learning how to play changes better. No matter what you have laid out as a solo, you still have to navigate the changes. It probably sounds simplistic to even mention it in that way, but that's the way it is. It's a lifelong challenge!

TE: Many musicians say it’s the struggle that seems to keep them going. They’re always looking for the next mountain to scale, pardon the pun, or the next musical peak to climb.

RB: Yes, exactly. Along with that thought, I always found myself thinking that the moment I ’m really pleased with something I ’ve played, I immediately find something else I didn’t like. It’s really about taking a Zen approach to the music. For me, when I practice, it’s about refining the craft, improving my technique, and increasing the number of too ls available to me. I’m always working to increase the number of scales, patterns, and other musical materials which I have available. When I perform I want to approach the music with the Zen concept of not thinking ahead or behind, just being in the moment. That’s when I think I’m doing my best work.

TE: Do you still find the time to practice?

RB: Yes, I really do. I don’t practice as much as I would like to. When I ’m producing, I need to spend a great deal of time with the artist. When working with other artists, there are a number of other things that go into the pr oduction, and those things take away from the time I want to spend practicing. When I’m traveling, I’ll have to spend the whole day on the road, and when I finally arrive in the hotel it’ll be time to sleep. I’ll have to go into a big show without practicing the previous day.

TE: Are there things you like to practice on a daily basis?

RB: What I’ll try to do now is find patterns of five or six notes that I really like and then explore them, fully develop them, interpolate them, and run them in all key areas. I’m trying to build my musical vocabulary. I also like to play the piano. Having an instrument that allows me to think of harmonies in a non-horizontal way helps to visualize what’s going on underneath the melody. Another thing, and I’m not ashamed to say this, is that part of my practice is done to the Jamey Aebersold recordings. For the most part, when the music is recorded with a live band, as opposed to when it sounds like it was sequenced, it is absolutely great. I have a studio here at home, and I’ll transfer a track like Joy Spring onto my hard disk, set up a microphone, and lay down several tracks. Then I’ll go back and listen critically. I try to under stand where my problems are and then work to improve my weaknesses.

TE: What advice do you have for young musicians?

RB: Here’s what I did that was a mistake. When I was at Eastman, I used to go to the practice rooms in the basement where everybody would walk by and hear you. I’m a natural ham. I always wanted to sound good and to impress people, so I would play the first couple of bars of Brandenburg No. 2. I couldn’t get through the whole thing to save my life, but I had the first entrance nailed! I think kids need to know that you have to practice what sounds bad. Play the material that sounds the worst, and practice it the most. Of course you want to play stuff you can play well, and I do too, but instead of always playing in F minor, play in B minor or F-sharp minor. Instead of playing a blues scale, work on the Lydian chromatic concept and Mixolydian scales. One of the things I did when I was learning the trumpet was to take the Clarke Technical Studies and incorporate them into as many different scale forms as possible. Early jazz education is usually restricted to major, minor, and diminished. Rarely do you learn about altered or Dorian scales until you get to a more advanced level. By adapting the Clarke studies i n a variety of ways, you create a big toolbox. If major and minor are the only scales that are second nature, you will be limited. It would be like fixing a car with only a wrench and a screwdriver. You’ll soon find that you need more tools!

Equipment

Mr. Braun plays a Getzen trumpet and flugelhorn from the custom series. His trumpet has a cryogenically treated bell. His mouthpieces are from his own signature series by Marcinciewicz Music Products.

#rickbraun #trumpet #beatstreet

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ifanfictionella · 5 years ago

Text

I have a crush on the cute guitarist in you’re band (1)

Fandom: Voltron legendary defender Ship:Romelle x Allura Words:3451

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After their third round of starbucks latte trips and second round of trailing around the bookstores of the mall all three friends found themselves in pidges dormroom studying. Shay had sprawled herself across the single bed along with a few open books, the rock nerd was the only one who didn’t actually live in this room.

The room was romelle and pidges.

Said short nerd was sitting at her desk with one headphone in looking at what looked like some sciency stuff. She had cursed at her laptop so many times that romelle had started to question if pidge actually like her so called ‘baby’

That left romelle, she wasn’t technically studying.

There was nothing to study.

Romelle was an art student so often when her friends were doing school work she would be using that free time to get her book, and often her clothes, covered in paint.

She often opted to have the floor rather than using her bed to do artwork, even when she was sketching she just couldn’t risk anything rubbing off onto her covers. In the background romelle had let her soft music playlist play which pared with the low hum of pidges laptop, the occasional chudder made all three of them jump.

The setting sun of the night seemed to paired nicely with the fairy lights romelle had insisted that they put up, it was the perfect type of evening to be studying to. The library was often too crowded and the lights were too bright meaning studying was rather hard, the coffee shops were too busy and people would often stop to talk to them which would be highly distracting.

Romelle and Shay both jumped when pidge groaned and closed her note book, closed her laptop and put the pen down. “Ya know girls, it is a friday night and we could actually be doing something fun”

“What do you suggest?” Shay asked, raising her eyebrow whilst looking up from her books for one of the first times that evening. “And would we need to change clothing?”

“Well I mean keith's band is taking part in one of those indie concerts” she said sitting sideways on her chair playing with a strewn pen, she glanced at it from a side angle before looking at the two of them “I did promise him we would maybe swing by to watch and support”

Romelle turned to look at Shay, romelle shrugged at her which left the decision up to Shay. It had been a while since romelle had gone out to something at night, much less something on a friday night

Wow such an exciting college student

“Would it be ok if Hunk tagged along?” shay said raising her eyebrow, pidge shrugged before nodding at her

After that interaction Shay had left to get changed in her own dorm room.

“You ok with her bringing Hunk?” romelle asked as she went through her wardrobe looking at all of her tops really not having a clue what she wanted to wear.

“Yeah sure” pidge replied, sounding like she was biting her tongue “Just bring my ex boyfriend along to a concert where my current boyfriend is playing , that won’t be awkward” there was a huge amount of sarcasm behind that statement. That earnt a slight chuckle from romelle as she picked out a band shirt she had picked up from a local thrift shop

“Keith and hunk seem pretty chill though” she replied pressing it up against her body before reaching for a pair of jeans that she thought would look cute.

“You wouldn’t get it, you don’t feel the awkwardness when we go on double dates” pidge replied as she slid one of keiths jackets on her body. Romelle had put her jeans and shirt on by now and turned to look at pidge. She had decided to not change her earrings or the scarf headband she had been wearing all day, her curled hair would do fine.

Romelle shrugged at her “Me and you’re brother talk like we’re still best friends” she said picking up the hoodie that had been laid on the floor under her bed for a week now, she sniffed it and decided it still smelt ok enough to wear out

“That’s different, he came out as gay” she said, kind of dead pan whilst looking down at her phone “We all knew, admit it”

She had to sigh and simply nod in response, besides shiro was good to him. She was just happy to have him in her life as a best friend. There was a knock at the door which made both girls turn towards the door

“It’s open” Pidge called before going back to texting someone, presumably keith

“Lance decided to tag too '' Shay said with a slight groan, He winked at romelle earning an eye roll from her. It meant nothing flirty, lance was highly taken and romelle would never go for him anyway.

“Wanting to boo mullet and cheer for lotor?” romelle asked, folding her arms and raising her eyebrow at him with a slight smirk.

“I will stomp on your foot If i hear any cat calls coming from you” Pidge said, looking up having the same smirk on her face that romelle had. This earned an eye roll from lance before he put his hands in the air

“While me and you’re boo will never see eye to eye,I want to support the band” he said lowering his hands and putting them in his pockets “Besides my cousin just joined the band, you notice her straight away”

Romelle looked up at the mention of a new member, the two other members had never really brought up the fact that they were gaining a new member.

"shouldn't we get going then?" Shay said, jumping into the conversation whilst holding hunks hand.

He seemed out of it today

"yeah yeah, let's get going" pidge said trying to push them out the door, romelle simply rolled her eyes smiling taking her key from the hook and locking the door behind them.

----

They took a short cut she was not aware of and they ended up at the main park of the town, the gazebo had been set up with a backstage area and band equipment.

Most of the bands romelle had not heard of, she really only knew about midnight dragons, Keith's band.

"here seems like a good spot” pidge said

“It only took the gremlin pushing past most of the taller people to find it” lance whispered to romelle which made her laugh slightly, shay simply rolled her eyes at pidge before going to stand with hunk and sip from her iced latte. The other three stood a tad bit away from the couple, pidge was texting someone while lance went scouting around for some sort of drinks bit

“Hows veronica?” Romelle asked looking up at the cuban boy which made him stop and turn to look at her again. He shoved his hands into his pockets and shrugged slightly at her

“Well we have kinda be talking though she is still ignoring me because of lotor” he sighed and looked down at the floor, he kicked at a rock that was near his feet before looking back up “It’s whatever you know, older siblings are protective to an annoying extent”

“I would assume Bandor would say the same about me” she said before shrugging herself “You and Lotor still up for meeting up for coffee on sunday”

“Oh duh, we both love our catch up sessions' ' he said forming a smile on his face scratching at the back of the neck, Romelle noticed a large ish dark mark on his neck which made her smirk slightly before shaking her head.

“Highlight of my week” The sound of some announcer coming on made the two turn towards the stage area, romelle couldn’t quite hear the man talking, mainly because she was admiring his british accent and orange mustache. What she did understand was when he announced that pidge had dragged them to a battle of the bands, romelle turned to pidge and gave her a slight glare.

It was some band named pastel galaxies up first, their music really was not romelles vibe and she found herself reaching for her phone throughout a few of their songs.

Known on her luck, Keith's band was going to be the last act to perform.

Thankfully she was wrong

Midnight dragons came out straight after, the familiar faces of Keith and lotor caught her eye. Keith had dropped his guitar and was rocking his new piercings, no matter what he wore he seemed to wear it well. Lotor as always was borrowing some aspects of keiths wardrobe but the eyeliner was all his as was the hairstyle.

“Mullets looking emo as ever” Lance said with his arms folded, romelle elbowed him in the arm and laughed slightly

“You will eventually give it up that you had a crush on him in highschool” she asked raising her eyebrow slightly

Lance may have said something but Romelle wasn’t paying attention, her eyes were immediately drawn to the new girl. She was absolutely beautiful.

She had the prettiest eyes and her skin was tanned and the bleached blonde, almost silver , hair fell around her head perfectly. Her long pastel t-shirt tucked into her skinny black jeans just drew romelles attention to her amazing figure

Holy shit

“Yo! Romelle” Lance called making her jump and turn to look at him “You’re pretty red, see something you like?” He was smirking at that point with his arms folded

“Bite me mclain”

She ignored him for the rest of the band's set, she couldn’t place any of the songs that were played that night. She was just so entranced by watching the guitarist play and laugh and just enjoy life while performing. Her hair seemed to fall out of the high ponytail while she was jumping to the final song.

And with that their bit was over, the girl looked down directly at her group and gave a smile before looking at the crowd.

Romelles face completely flushed after that.

“Thank you for coming out, enjoy the rest of the show” Lotor said beating keith to the microphone, all three of them bowed before going back stage

“That my guy” lance said before doing some sort of wolf whistle, pidge came up to the two of them after that. Shay and hunk had left a few songs ago- something about all the coffee not agreeing with shay.

“We should go see them” she suggested already tugging on lances hoodie in the direction of the backstage area “Besides I want to finally meet the new girl”

“I don’t need much convincing to see my boy” Lance said allowing himself to be dragged in the direction. Romelle just rolled her eyes at lance before walking ahead.

She had to push past a few people and certainly lost pidge way behind her, she wasn’t paying attention to where she was going and bumped into someone who practically towered over. She looked up at the butch woman and was practically falling over herself trying to appilogise

“Watch where you’re going next time”

Wow she had a rough deep voice

“zathrid, It’s not her fault” Another voice said jumping in, it belonged to a rather cute looking girl, she had pink hair and big hoop earrings in “Sorry about her, we’ve both had a rough week with college, it’s our final year” the girl held her hand out

“I’ve got that to come, I’m only a first year,” Romelle replied, taking the girl's hand before walking away from the two- she had wanted to introduce herself but she also really wanted to get out of that situation.

She breathed a sigh of relief when she got to the edge of the crowd, she looked up and could see Keith and Lotor having a smoke break which got her to smile. She turned back and could see pidge had climbed on top of lances shoulders, the two were already making their way through the crowd.

When they got to her pidge jumped down and walked over to keith and lotor, romelle and lance watched as she snuggled into keith's side. The three of them talked for about a minute before she motioned towards romelle and lance, romelle gave an awkward wave at the two while lance winked at lotor.

“Oh come on are you two afraid of a bit of smoke” Keith called before taking a drag from his cigarette.

“My body is a temple kogane” lance called back as the two walked forward towards them “The only bad exception I let in is your hot drummer” he then looked over at lotor and slipped his hand into his pocket.

“Yieks” pidge responded with a slight smirk directed at lance “So who’s your guitarist?”

“Weirdly,” Lotor started discarding his cigarette into a water bucket “That would be an ex of mine, before I came out we were just experimenting”

“So what you’re saying is, I turned you gay” A new british voice said, the girl from before walked out from the stage area with a guitar case held on her back. She folded her arms and smirked at lotor

“More like I relised that, we’re both just too gay to be straight”

So she's into girls?

Shit why is her heart going so fast

“You took most of the gay, lets not forget that”

“Allura, this is pidge” keith said motioning the girl under his arm “That's lance” he said pointing at lance before he turned to look at romelle “And she’s romelle”

“The token single” lotor added which made romelle roll her eyes

“I’m just too good for anyone at our college” she responded before laughing slightly “But seriously, I don’t meet enough people”

“I dropped out of college, i much prefer the working life” allura said rolling her shoulders backwards “What do you study?”

“Can’t you tell, she’s an art student” Lance said motioning to what she was wearing making romelle roll her eyes again

“That’s a stereotype lance”

“Aww cute,I drew from time to time- just when i'm having a bad day really” Allura said rubbing her arm before getting an idea “Come with me for a sec,I’ll show you my sketch journal”

So she's one of those girls?

“Uh sure” Romelle replied following the girl, romelle quickly caught up to her- there wasn’t any security at events like this due to the bands not being huge or mainstream enough to have people trying to harass them. The female dressing room wasn’t in use at the moment so there wasn’t any issue of bumping into people. Allura reached into her bag and pulled out a leather bound book along with her phone.

“Sorry if they are kind of bad, i'm just a hobbyist” she said, passing the book to romelle. She looked at the book and felt it underneath her fingers for a second or two before opening it.

While it wasn’t the sort of stuff she was used to seeing in sketchbooks but the composition of the pages were amazing. She assumed the journal was more like a feelings book rather than some sort of art book

“Those are really cool, I love the way you have all of the pages layed out, that’s something I have been struggling with for a while so I think how you’ve done it is pretty cool” she said closing the book and passing it back to allura “I’d love to talk to you more about your journaling”

Allura looked at her for a second or two before processing what she had said and nodding, she got out a post it note from what looked like a diary and gave it to her. Romelle looked at the neon pink piece of paper with the cutesy handwriting.

Romelle quickly put the number in her phone and saved the contact

---------------------------------------------------

“So what did you and allura talk about?” Lance asked, smirking at her as they walked back to the college site, he was holding a disposable cup of coffee that Lotor had bought him before he and Keith had gone back to their shared apartment.

“Just art” she shrugged

“Is that code for something”

“No we just talked about art, wheres pidge anyway”

“Spending the night with keith”

Romelle nodded “Wanna sleep over then?”

“As long as I can do you’re makeup again”

They both got out their student ID to scan at the door and then walked to the dorm building. Romelle got her keys out and opened the door, turned the lights on and put her bag down. Her coffee had gone cold by now so she took it to the sink and tipped it out, she quickly got herself into something she could sleep in before lance got to her room.

“Sharp shooter has arrived” He said opening her door, he was quite clearly wearing one of lotors shirts with a pair of shorts underneath “Make up is in the same place as always, I’m making hot cocoa”

“You know the way to my heart ro ro” he laughed sitting down on pidges bed and leaning back into her fort of pillows for a second or two before getting up and going to her cupboard. She didn’t have too big of a collection of makeup, she mainly only wore the basics everyday and only wore eye shadow when they went out for a proper night out.

Lance still knew way too much about makeup to make her look good.

Romelle brought the cup to him and put it on the nightstand, she kept hers in her hand so she could lightly sip at it while lance was taking breaks with make up. She got her laptop set up and found movie on netflix that they could just leave in the background

After having been watched so many times lance could recite the lines but it was the perfect background movie.

“You are doing one of the worst jobs hiding that hickey by the way” romelle said as lance started getting out her make up and putting it in the order he was going to use it in

“What hickey” He asked playing dumb opening up her primer and putting it on the cotton pad “I have no idea what you are talking about”

“It’s a huge purple mark on your neck, no matter how much concealer you put on it, I can see it” She said with a slight smirk, she didn’t want to move her face too much. Lance had complained to her before that if she moved her face when doing makeup it would crease and stuff.

“Fine we had a hot make-out session” he sighed focusing more on the makeup than her for a second “One thing led to another and … well you know the rest”

Romelle simply giggled at him “As long as you had fun, I guess” she shrugged

“What about you and that allura girl, I saw the way you looked at her”

“I mean I just got her number, we just met I don’t think anything is going to happen straight away”

“Wow her number already, player”

“Oh hush hush.’”

“Im serious, that’s really good for you”

“Wow thanks”

When he had finally done her make-up they watched the end of the movie,took a few pictures with the make up and then lance dropped off the sleep. Romelle smiled at him and put the blanket over him before going to take the make-up off her face.

Once It was all off she walked back into the main room bit and checked her phone

Allura ❤️ Hey It’s the girl from the concert, keith gave me the number, this is romelle right

Romelle looked down at her phone and smiled slightly, as if that girl had actually sought out her and her contact details- It’s probably just so they can talk about art but still that brought a slight smile to her

Hey! Yeah it’s romelle, how you doing after the concert you killed it BTW

She wasn’t expecting a quick response so she shut her laptop down and put her earphones in to listen to some music. She brushed her teeth, got a glass of water and got into bed

Allura ❤️ Awwwwwwwww!!!! Thanks, I was kinda nervous TBH, I just moved to the area and keith herd me playing

Oh He’s my neighbour LOL that’s how we met

Romelle smiled preparing herself to probably stay up most of the night talking to this girl- probably not a bad thing

2 notes · View notes

artificialqueens · 6 years ago

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Bring It On: Fight to the Finish pt 5 (Branjie) - Ashley

A/N: so this is my longest chapter yet and has been my fave to write so far ft some heavy fanservice, cute branjie moments and a hint at potential scyvie. There are only 5 bring it on films (#worldwide cheermack DOES NOT count) so I only ever planned for there to be 5 chapters titlewise, meaning I’m just gonna have to get creative with sports idioms from here. Should be one or two more after this then maybe some one shots, who knows..hope you like, thanks for all the love so far. P.s: I have a sideblog now if anyone wants to chat bring it on/branjie in general - xoxo Ashley

“Hey, you’re actually really good at that!” Brooke found herself surprised as she watched Silky play around with the batons left over from the marching bands session in the gym as they waited for Vanessa to turn up.

“Girl, we’ve all got hidden talents,” Silky laughed in response as she continued to twirl the batons with great precision, throwing and catching them to the beat of the song that played.

Not shortly after, a crowd had formed around the girls and the squad all began to dance together in their own silly ways, throwing aside the rigidity and cheer-nature of their usual routines. Feeling herself start to let loose to the music and really connect with the squad - Brooke watched some of the other cheerleader’s personalities shine and allowed herself to see a more of a unique side to her teammates.

Although she thrived on the nature of competition and routine, a part of her relished the time they were spending simply having fun. Seeing Jaren do a double pirouette from the corner of her eye, Brooke shook her head at the boy and wagged a finger in his direction, before throwing herself into pirouettes and fouettes till they were having their own little dance-off in front of the squad - Brooke leaping across the hall in a way she just felt so accustomed to. Despite the fact that she had dove headfirst into cheer and carried on swimming strong for the past few weeks, Brooke knew her love for the classic beauty of ballet would always hold a special place in her heart - messing about like this giving her the sensation of an old friend coming to visit, the warmth of nostalgia arising like she was sipping a cup of tea.

Suddenly interrupted by a single stream of claps from across the hall, Brooke stopped and turned to see Vanessa making her way over, the usual twinkle in her eyes shining bright as she watched her squad embrace themselves. Ever since her reconciliation with Jovan and performance at the pep rally, Brooke had noticed the vulnerable and kind side of Vanessa that she usually kept closeted start to spread around the school. Whilst she still had her moments of ferocity, Brooke had noticed the dilapidation of Vanessa’s guns-a-blazing approach, the girl’s highly protective defence barriers starting to lower, exposing more of her real self to the squad. Vanessa had learned that in order to succeed, she didn’t need to rule with an iron fist, instead lending that hand to the others around her and helping to push them to new heights. Pushing Brooke to new heights.

“Okay, so when we’re ya’ll gonna show me this shit?” She exclaimed towards the group with a sense of dumbfoundedness. “You know, I was just about ready to come and scream at yous that we need to step our pussies up after seeing this hoe on the cover of American Cheerleader,” Vanessa help up a magazine that Brooke was unfamiliar with, “but I think we might be able to use some of this.”

Watching the cogs turning in her friend’s brain, Brooke couldn’t help but mentally swoon at the way Vanessa scrunched her face up when she concentrated - almost as if Brooke could visibly see all the pictures she painted inside her mind.

“Is that Vick?” Akeria snatched the magazine from Vanessa’s hand in order to get a closer look at it, Brooke joining her in tandem.

Vicky Taylor, Brooke recognised the girl on the cover from her “Cheer 101” with Vanessa when she had first joined the squad. The ruthless leader of the Vixens, Brooke knew the girl had a reputation of ferociousness and a willingness to fight. The sly fox of the Cheer world, it was a well know fact that Vicky did not shy from addressing the lingering elephant in the room at any circumstance. Not only were the squad an intense rival for the Amazons but the feud between Vanessa and the other captain seemed to be deep-rooted into the woods of the competition.

“She’s not that bad,” Jaren rolled his eyes as the members of the squad gaped at the cover, “she can be a real sweetheart.”

“Just cause you taught her how to rap like 2 nationals ago,” Monet nudged her friend in the ribs, resulting in a squeal from Jaren’s behalf.

“Irregardless, that should be me on that cover,” a wave of determination crashed over the captain, “Ever since she made me drop the spirit stick at camp, we have always come in second place to that girl. We’ve been looking at this all wrong. I spent so long trying to be like the Vixens, trying to do what they do - but we need to be different, we need to take what we got and make ourselves unique.”

Jay nodded adamantly in the background; “For the first time ever, I think you’re speaking utter sense, Vanjie.”

“Don’t get me wrong, we’re here to cheer first and foremost - but if we use the talents that we all got and learn how to apply them to the competition, I think we could hit the jackpot. Those judges sit and watch repetitive moves all day - if we throw in a couple of Brooke’s ballet moves, a few of Silk’s batons and a death drop here and there then we got the recipe for success.”

“Maybe it’ll undo that curse!” Silky boomed, garnering laughs from the entire squad.

A pang of longingness hit Brooke - although she was now more a member of the squad that she ever had been - she felt a hint of jealousy at the thought of the years they had all spent growing up together in the smaller neighbourhood. She was suddenly struck by the fear of all the memories she had missed, feeling envy at the thought that some of these girls had spent their whole lives knowing Vanessa. Even though she was usually having fun herself, Brooke was a long time sufferer of the fear of missing out, and coupled with the intense crush she had developed on the cheer captain, she knew she’d have given anything at that moment to have spent those nights at cheer camp, sneaking out of dorms and telling legends with Vanessa and the squad.

“Get warmed up then we’ll see what we can do,” Vanessa set the squad away at stretches and laps of the gym before pulling Brooke to one side.

Despite being exposed to her increasingly more, Brooke still felt that rush of blood go to her head every time Vanessa spoke to her, every time she felt her smooth skin so much as brush against her own, every time she heard her distinctive laugh or voice fill up the room.

“You okay?” Vanessa asked her, clearly noticing the slight dip in Brooke’s disposition.

“It’s fine, you know how I overthink things,” Brooke brushed off her anxieties, longing so much to open up to the girl right then and there. To give her everything and more. Every inch of her thoughts, feelings, body, mind. It was all hers.

“You’re a star, Brooke Lynn,” Vanessa looked dead into Brooke’s eyes with a confidence that could shatter glass, “Don’t ever stop thinking it. Now hurry up so you can teach me all this ballerina shit!”

Enlightened by the other girl’s simple yet meaningful words encouragement, Brooke’s smile beamed from cheek to cheek: “And then the student became the master.”

***

“Do I look okay?” Brooke asked her best friend as she examined herself in her full-length mirror, her need for perfection driving her to change her outfit 5 times before he arrived and grab her hairbrush to fix any strays every time he ushered her to leave. Finally deciding on a denim off-the-shoulder dress that exposed the majority of her back, she raked around her room looking for a bag to match.

Beep. The horn sounded outside.

So maybe it wasn’t just her own battle for perfection driving her to look her best.

“For the last time, yes!” Jovan grabbed her arm and ushered her out of the house and into the car, where his sister waited impatiently for the pair.

“You get lost in there or something?” Vanessa barked at her brother whilst shaking her eyes at Brooke.

“It’s not my fault,” he raised his eyebrows at his sister - Brooke happy to see that the siblings held a much closer relationship than they had when she first moved to Tampa. Even though they annoyed each other from time to time, the love between the two was evident and Brooke enjoyed nothing more than being able to spend time with both of them.

“We’re picking Brad up on the way,” Vanessa informed the pair - a part of Brooke sinking at the thought of having to sit in the back of the car with Vanessa’s douchebag boyfriend.

Despite knowing her crush on the girl was never something she’d indulge in and that Vanessa didn’t feel the same way, Brooke still knew Vanessa was better than Brad. Seeing and hearing the way he treated her and dabbled with other girls when Vanessa wasn’t around, Brooke found herself continually baffled at how one of the strongest and most determined women she knew - in fact, the strongest and most determined woman she knew - allowed herself to be walked all over by a high school has been waiting to happen.

“Don’t roll your eyes,” Vanessa blurted as she started to pull out of the street, her eyes focused on the road ahead of her.

“How could even you see that I’m rolling my eyes?” Brooke responded. Reason number eighty-nine why she believed Vanessa was some form of superhuman.

“Cause I know you,” Vanessa retorted - remembering the way Brooke consoled her after she confided in her about Brad’s cheating.

“She’s right,” Jovan piped in, “I don’t know why you give that boy the time of day.”

“You don’t understand,” Vanessa responded abruptly, an awkward silence lingering until they pulled up to the front of Brad’s house and he entered the car.

Sitting next to Brooke was reason number one - in fact, the only reason - why she believed Vanessa was the stupidest person on the planet.

“Hey babe,” he greeted Vanessa, before turning to Brooke and smiling.

“Brooke, you ready to get pissed?” he pulled a can of cider from his backpack and tossed it to her.

“I’m good - practice and everything,” Brooke responded through gritted teeth, taking her every ounce of self-control not to slap the bones out of him.

Okay, maybe it did have a little bit to do with her crush on Vanessa.

“I’m sure Vanj will let you have a night off, won’t you babe?” he grinned at Brooke.

Boy was she wishing she’d spent longer getting ready.

***

Not only had half of their year gathered to celebrate Akeria’s birthday but there was also a wide range of people Brooke had never met from neighbouring schools and the world of cheer combined. A bittersweet taste lingered in her mouth - here she was with all of her friends, her best friend and the girl she admired so much yet she felt as though she wasn’t fully there, never fully present. Lucky to have Jovan by her side to keep her grounded, a familiar newcomer to the life parties and high school socialising, Brooke was starting to wish she’d taken the cider from Brad nonetheless, longing to rinse away her anxieties in the short term at least.

“That boy has his eye on you,” she pointed out to her friend, taking note of the glances that kept getting thrown in their direction from across the room.

“Him?” Jovan nodded his head in the direction of the long-haired brunette, clearly panicked at the thought of interaction with him.

“Yes, but don’t stare like that you’ll freak him out!” Brooke laughed at her friend who was now taking suspicious looking glances at the boy in red.

“Oh my god,” Brooke gave him a light slap on the face, “Just go say hi!”

“Easy for you to say,” Jovan’s huffy side started to come out, Brooke finding pleasure in watching him get all nervous and flustered in the presence of a good looking boy. “Look at him. He’s like a fucking pristine Prince I don’t know why he’s looking at my shabby ass,”

“Maybe he’s into a bit of grit,” Brooke responded before realising that the boy had started to make his way over to them. “Just be cool.”

“Hi, do I know you?” he asked Jovan, his eyes scanning Brooke’s friend’s body up and down.

“I don’t think so,” Jovan looked down to the floor. Brooke swore she could see his cheeks turn a deep scarlet. She would never let him live this down, she thought to herself as she began to make an exit, ignoring her usual brazen friend’s sudden pleading eyes as they screamed at her for help. Giving him an assuring nod (you’ve got this), she set off to find Vanessa, desperate to tell her all about the cute boy her brother was talking to.

“Hey, you seen Vanessa?” she asked Monet after searching the kitchen, garden and living room for the dark-haired girl.

“I think I saw her and Brad upstairs,” she responded with a smile, pointing Brooke in the right direction.

Although she knew she may end up third wheeling the couple, Brooke fruitfully believed she was doing Vanessa a favour by dragging her away from Brad - having not seen the couple at all since they arrived at the party.

Going to walk into the first door she came across, Brooke stopped dead in her tracks as she opened it, seeing Brad - topless, kissing someone, someone who wasn’t Vanessa.

“Shit,” the girl muttered before grabbing her clothes and running past Brooke, leaving a purple balconette bra on the floor.

Frozen in place, Brooke didn’t know how to react.

Yes, she already knew that Brad had been unfaithful to Vanesa, but something about seeing him with the girl when Vanessa was in the same house, when she’d driven him here, something about seeing it with her own eyes, something about the bottle of lube on the table, the tacky violet bra on the floor made her want to give him a piece of her mind. And that she did.

“You want a piece, Brooke?” he laughed as she strode over to him, a kilogram of fury in every step.

“She deserves so much better than you,” Brooke jabbed at his chest, a sudden urge to protect Vanessa coming over her, the way the girl repeatedly brushed off his cheating, the way she told Brooke not to phone him when she was upset, playing on her mind.

“Oh, you want to get handsy?” he grinned at Brooke, placing his own hand on her arm.

A ball of slime fell straight from his mouth and Brooke was revolted.

And then Brooke’s world came crashing down.

“Hey, Monet said you we’re-” she started. But didn’t finish.

Turning around, Brooke saw the pain in her eyes, instantly realising the mistake - the image that lay before Vanessa. The shirtless boyfriend. The blonde best friend. The removed bra. The lube. The fucking lube. She watched the heartbreak play across the theatre screen. She wanted to pause. To rewind. But she couldn’t. Before she could even think the credits were rolling and Vanessa was fleeing the screen, desperate not to get stuck in the aisles giving way to slow paced families and chattering gaggles of teens. She had upped and left.

“No, Vanessa,” she chased her out of the room and down the stairs, repeating it till she turned. Praying she would turn. Not a care in the world who heard or whether she was making a scene because all she needed was for Vanessa to turn.

She didn’t.

“I didn’t do it!” She shouted after the girl. They were outside now, Vanessa running to her car and jumping into the front seat.

“Please.” Before she knew it she was stood in front of the bonnet. Headlights bright in her eyes but she could still see Vanessa’s face. The haunting look of someone who had been crushed into a million pieces and tried to stick themselves back together with fluff-covered sellotape.

Vanessa revved her engine.

Brooke stayed still.

“Move!” she shouted.

Brooke stayed still.

“Fuck sake,” she could make out the movement of Vanessa’s lips as she got out of the car, a sense of hope filling in Brooke’s mind, only for Vanessa to stride straight ahead of her.

“Guess I’m walking home,” she laughed to herself as she built pace on Brooke.

God, she was fast. Reason number 90 why Vanessa is superhuman.

“Vanessa!” Brooke shouted after her friend, “Can you just stop so I can explain what happened you’ve got it all wrong.”

She kept walking.

“Vanessa,” she called again, the girl gaining pace, Brooke wanted to try and tell her about the other girl but knew she was too far away to hear.

She stopped.

“Fuck you,” Vanessa responded.

The words stung. Although Brooke had understood what it looked like from Vanessa’s point of view, she found herself getting frustrated at the girl, did she really not trust her? She knew he cheated, she already knew.

“Was that your way of showing me I’m too good for him? Cause it fucking worked Brooke, ” she said to the girl, her voice rising mid-sentence.

About the ask the girl how she could assume the worst of her so quickly, Vanessa started to let loose at Brooke.

“It wasn’t me Vanessa,” she shouted - her usual polite manners and calm reasoning were thrown out the window. She knew from an objective standpoint that she should just sit down and tell Vanessa what happened but in the heat of the moment when Vanessa was shouting and Brooke started to feel hurt at the accusations, everything was jumbled and a logical approach wasn’t even in the distant horizon.

“You knew anyway!” she found herself getting mad at the girl, mad at the girl she cared for so much letting her boyfriend stomp all over her tiny frame, “You fucking knew!”

“But it’s you,” Vanessa responded, clearly coming from that same place of hurt Brooke had witnessed the night she fought with Jovan, “You don’t understand shit Brooke, so stop acting like you know everything.”

“I understand plenty. You let your boyfriend cheat on you again and again with no consequences but then take it out on me with not an ounce of blame on precious Brad. I get that you feel betrayed but it wasn’t even fucking me, Vanessa.”

“God,” Vanessa was delirious, her eyes looking up to the sky, a laugh escaping her hoarse throat. “You really don’t get it, do you?”

Her stomach full of butterflies, Brooke wanted everything to go back to the way it was. She wanted that magic remote to alter time. She wanted to pause and stay with Vanessa, calm her down, make sure she was okay. She wanted to kiss her, to kiss her till she couldn’t yell anymore, till she believed Brooke, till she understood that all Brooke ever wanted to do was look out for her.

She imagined it, her lips on Vanessa’s the way they had been in the night club - but for real.

The butterflies escaped; punching holes in her skin.

She imagined holding her, hands in her hair. Not the way Brad had been with the redhead - she’d hold her tenderly like a China doll, so brittle that it could break in her hands. She’d run her hands through her dark hair and kiss her with passion, with promise, with whatever it took.

Brooke knew there was nothing more she wanted at that moment than to kiss Vanessa Mateo.

And then Vanessa kissed her.

For real.

She wanted to pinch herself but her hands were glued to Vanessa, magnets unable to resist the gravitational pull.

It was everything she’d imagined and nothing like it at the same time.

Because it was real.

She tasted like artificial cherries. Sweet. She was so sweet.

If Vanessa really was a China doll then Brooke would have broken her by now. The pressure they exerted on each other getting larger and larger, they both gripped tightly as if their lives depended on it. As if they’d been waiting for it, starving for it.

Brooke had, she thought to herself. Had Vanessa?

She didn’t want to question it. All she knew is that it was happening and she wouldn’t stop our of fear that it wouldn’t happen again.

Vanessa’s hands spitting flames everywhere.

She was submerged in the heat, plunged deep into the fiery pit.

Vanessa’s hands on her. All over her.

She was in heaven. Or was it hell. It didn’t matter, because Vanessa was there riding that same train. Until it stopped and left them deserted in a neutral limbo. They heard shouting, their names. Footsteps. They broke apart.

Brooke was confused at where they had arrived and lost in this new world, a familiar voice snapping her back to reality.

Jovan.

Everything flooded back to her. Jovan. Brad. The Redhead. The Amazons.

Vanessa.

“Are yous okay?” he ran over to them, putting an instinctive arm around his sister.

“Brad cheated on me again,” she whispered, barely making eye contact with her brother as he shepherded her away to the car, Brooke in tow.

“Brooke saw him, with another girl.”

Dramatic irony loomed over Brooke, casting a shadow behind her. Vanessa didn’t care about Brad. She cared about Brooke.

The silence was abundant as they sat in the car, Jovan about to turn the engine on before he stopped and turned to the girls: “I’ll be two seconds.”

And he was gone. And they were alone.

“It wasn’t me,” Brooke whispered even though no one was there.

“I know. I just thought it was and it made me-” she stopped mid-sentence. Brooke could almost sense that painful look from the backseat.

“You need to break up with Brad,”

“I can’t,” Vanessa whispered - her fears a can of worms starting to spill out of her. “Brooke, if you tell anyone, if anyone knew,-” she stopped herself again. Brooke could hear her trying to fight the tears, the build up in her throat, she could make out her hands on her eyelashes, willing herself not to cry.

“You need to break up with Brad,” she repeated.

“I think that’s fucked now anyway,” Vanessa responded, “What am I gonna do? Brooke, you can’t tell anyone about that, I don’t know what I was thinking.”

But Brooke’s mind was out of answers, out of solutions, out of reasoning. The only fact her brain could discern was that kissing Vanessa was a lot better than not kissing Vanessa. Now that she’d had a taste of the forbidden cherry she needed another bite. And she’d take one even if it killed her cause god did it taste sweet.

And then Jovan returned. Brooke couldn’t focus on the grin on his face, the happiness he was radiating because her mind couldn’t focus on anything but Vanessa and before she knew it she was outside of her own house, time playing its part as the cruel mistress.

She didn’t sleep that night.

Often she dreamed of the head cheerleader and couldn’t wait to fall asleep so she could nourish in all of her feelings without the guilt. Tonight, the dream was real life and she couldn’t stop replaying it in her head - right until the “what was I thinking”. The painstaking cruel “what was I thinking” that kept it from being a dream after all. But Brooke knew that no matter how much that part hurt, it was worth what came before. She didn’t care about getting burned when she got to dance in the embers - for her, that was enough.

***

Brooke waited and waited the following Monday. She wouldn’t show, she figured. Because she hadn’t texted, she hadn’t called. She’d left Brooke a glass slipper then disappeared once the clock struck midnight.

“Look, we’ll just do some more practice of our routine, it doesn’t look like she’s gonna show and there’s no point in learning something new,” Akeria announced to the group as time started ticking even more and there was no sign of their captain.

“Maybe she’s just late?” Brooke asked with a sense of hopefulness - her mind was at a loss over the weekend, circles of confusion running around her.

She didn’t want to see Vanessa because she had such strong feelings for her, she needed to see her because Vanessa, too, understood what was going on and there was no one else Brooke could talk to about how fucked up her head was since Friday. Everything that had built up since she moved to Tampa had all released at once and she was left feeling empty. “I don’t know what I was thinking.” Brooke wanted to know more than anything - did she feel the same, had she felt the same all along. Unanswered questions made list after list in her head till she found herself starting to walk to Vanessa’s house, always too scared to enter, always too scared to knock, always turning back and taking the smoothest course home instead of the dark, winding, forbidden path to the girl who had kissed her, always too scared of tripping on the branch of an uprooted tree and falling to her demise.

And then all of a sudden she was in front of her. But the spirit that once filled her till she might burst, the pep she carried on her back to practice wasn’t. The things that made Vanessa herself were nowhere to be found - just the shadow of a girl who wanted to be different, who wanted to stand out and be a team, who wanted to kiss Brooke.

“Get in position for a 360 helicopter,” she shouted towards the group - no welcome, no team talk, no look in Brooke’s direction.

“Girl, you know that’s illegal,” Monet looked shocked at the captain.

“Yeah,” Silky chimed in, “I know you’ve been through a breakup but you’re not really thinking straight Vanjie,”

She had broken up with Brad, Brooke realised - her heart began to warm. But then she remembered that she hadn’t texted, hadn’t called. She remembered the “I don’t know what I was thinking.” It didn’t matter that Vanessa had broken up with Brad because she didn’t seem to want Brooke either way.

“This is nothing to do with my breakup. Sure, it’s all fun and games being team spirit and doing grand-jetes but is that really gonna make us beat the Vixens? I’ve been rethinking and we need extreme,”

The squad looked at her with a gulp of astonishment and surprise. There was that sneer of cold command - gone the kind diplomat who the group had began to know.

“We’ve spent weeks learning that stuff, Vanjie,” Jaren gave her a pointed look, clearly fed up with her hot and cold antics. “You can’t change it again, this close to nationals.”

“Why aren’t you in formation for a 360 helicopter?” she responded, ignoring the squads clear discern with her sudden change of pace and heart.

“Brooke, are you gonna get into base position or just stand there letting your ass form it’s own Instagram?”

If she thought Vanessa’s last words to her stung. Then these ones ripped through her skin like she was being stabbed. Quickly and sharply, Vanessa left her to bleed out.

Vanessa was a ball of sporadic blaze and Brooke didn’t know how much longer she could take the changes in her mood. One minute she was beaming with all the heat of a thousand suns. The next she was an icy queen readying to crack anyone that got in her way.

So Brooke did one of the most difficult things she had done in her life - she walked away from Vanessa, straight out of practice, straight out of school, as far away as she could get from the girl who could make her so elated one minute and so beneath her the next. She felt like walking all the way to Toronto and back to her old life, where she had never felt the sinking of heartbreak like this, her naive mind a place of utopia.

***

Her time giving up on Vanessa didn’t last long. 3 days to be precise. After trying and failing miserably to avoid practice, avoid her in the corridors and even avoid Jovan - Brooke had tipped over her boiling point. She knew it wasn’t the right thing to do, she knew she was supposed to be resisting her temptation, but before long she was back walking on that gloomy path, her ability to control her desires out of the window. She had walked away from Vanessa that Monday afternoon but knew she wouldn’t be able to do it again - the need for answers and the lack of knowledge about her own life driving her insane, she needed to know why Vanessa had kissed her, why she acted that way at practice.

Without out even processing where she was going, she made her way to Vanessa’s house, almost like muscle memory had taken her there. Except, this time she didn’t turn around and take the steady course - she dove into the unknown.

She made her way to the girl’s window and tapped, and only then did she realise what she was doing, but it was too late to go back. She’d already taken the gamble and all that was left to do was to wait in nervousness for the result.

Before her was the face of the girl she’d tried every precaution to avoid. As she opened the window, leaving only the density of air between them, Brooke couldn’t tell if she’d won or lost her bet either way.

Bags under her eyes and hairs falling stray from her ponytail, Vanessa looked like she hadn’t slept in a week but Brooke still found herself mesmerised nonetheless.

“I have a front door, yanno,” she broke the silence first.

“Didn’t think my ass would fit through,” Brooke raised her eyebrows at the girl. She may have spent the past few days living and breathing Vanessa but her feelings of passion and desire to kiss the girl again did not fully overshadow the harsh words Vanessa had uttered to her. She wouldn’t let her off the hook that easily.

“Touche,” Vanessa opened the window wider before looking down at Brooke’s asset in question, “Think it might just fit through here.”

“Why would I wanna come in your room, Vanessa?”

“The same reason why you’re outside my window at 2AM,” she responded bluntly.

“Touche,” Brooke rolled her eyes, unable to help herself from falling back into that natural lull of playfulness with Vanessa as she climbed through the frame and into the room, holding onto the other girl’s hand for balance.

That spark never did go away.

“I have a lot of questions for you,” Brooke stated, unsure how to approach the situation, unsure of how to be so close to the other girl without pinning her arms against the wall and kissing her until her jaw ached.

“Shoot,” Vanessa responded, sitting cross-legged on the bed, her hands playing with the cuffs of her oversized jumper. What Brooke had realised to be her own jumper from the night Vanessa had slept at her house. It probably smelt of cherries now, she started to get herself chased away by her thoughts before remembering why she was there.

“Why did you kiss me?” Brooke asked, joining Vanessa on the bed and pressing on the bottom of her chin with her finger so that they’d be making eye contact. She needed Vanessa to look into her eyes and tell her she meant it, tell her she really didn’t know what she was thinking in order to stay that least bit sane. In order to get out of the horrible limbo that she had been floating around in.

“Why do you think?” Vanessa gave Brooke a pointed look.

“I want you to tell me,” Brooke responded, placing a reassuring hand over Vanessa’s, the way she had when she’d watched the girl open up previously.

“I thought you’d got with Brad and I think it just made me see how real it all was,” her voice started to break.

“All what?”

“All this. You, Brooke. From that first time I saw you in the cafeteria, you stood out to me from everyone who watched us, something about you just caught my eye and then you were here in my kitchen and I just about died. I had it all under control, I had a boyfriend who no one questioned, I was captain of the Amazons, I could focus on that. And then I saw you and I just thought ‘god, this girl’s gonna fuck it all up’”

“You didn’t like me,” Brooke said, her mind not fully adjusting to what was happening. She thought she was coming for closure but was now opening Pandora’s Box for all the baggage to spill out. “You didn’t want me on the squad,”

“You really are a dumb, blonde cheerleader, aren’t you?” Vanessa shook her head and laughed to herself like she had when Brooke had asked her about Brad, about why this was any different to what she already knew. “Fucking hell, do I have to spell this out for you?”

“I’d like that,” Brooke laughed, “In a cheer.”

“You just did something to me Brooke, and it scared me. It really fucking scared me and it still is. I tried to push you away but felt guilty so I tried to be your friend, tried to fight it. I let go at the club, but the thought of you with Brad just sent me insane and I couldn’t anymore,”

“It doesn’t matter Vanessa,” Brooke gave Vanessa a reassuring squeeze on the hand. “I’m just glad I wasn’t making all of this up. No one cares. Everyone knows you’re a boss ass bitch and you’d stomp on anyone who got in your way, I don’t think they’d say anything to you. And your parents wouldn’t mind, look at Jovan. You don’t need to keep putting up these defences and trying to push me away every time you show your feelings, there’s nothing wrong with it,“

“I don’t care what people would say about me Brooke, I care about what they’d think. I wanna be known for my talent not who I like. I know it’s 2019 and all this bullshit but I just don’t want that Brooke, I’m ashamed of it. And my parents are different, they love Jovan.”

“They love you,” Brooke pleaded with the girl.

“I don’t want to talk about them,” Vanessa responded and Brooke knew that she had reached her breaking point, with nothing more to do than to pull the other girl into a hug.

And then they were kissing.

If she thought that she’d felt the most passion she was ever capable of feeling on Saturday, then she was wrong. Vanessa was extremely dehydrated and all she had left was the tall glass of Brooke, right there on her bed - and Brooke just couldn’t help but just give herself away.

She kissed with intensity and passion. If an earthquake came and the walls around them started to fall then Brooke wouldn’t have noticed - she was fully engrossed In Vanessa. Vanessa’s mouth pressing against hers. Vanessa’s tongue sliding its way into her mouth with careful precision and warmth. Vanessa’s teeth pressing softly onto Brooke’s bottom lip.

“God, I’ve wanted you to do that for a while,” Brooke whispered to the girl, holding her face between her palms, looking deep into her dark eyes, just stopping to make sure it was all real.

“What about this?” Vanessa asked, a sultry look melting over her face as she ripped the bobble out of her hair and pushed Brooke onto her back, legs either side of her. Slowly she made her way on top of the girl, taking the time to note every detail about her - the look on her face, the way her blonde tendrils spread across the pillow so haphazardly and neatly at the same time.

Although fully aware that she was staring at the other girl, Brooke couldn’t bring herself to close her eyes as Vanessa pressed her body against hers and kissed her again. She watched as Vanessa’s dainty hands made to the edge of her shirt. The fireworks were bigger, better, hotter and all over Brooke’s body. She was fully submerged in the inferno, riding the train down to hell, knowing yet not caring about the consequences.

Nodding her head in consent, the unspoken bond between the two was clear as Vanessa moved her hands up Brooke’s pale chest, caressing her the way no boy had ever done before. So careful and graceful yet so hot and lustful in synchronisation.

The reasons why Vanessa was a super-human built and built till the number reached infinity and the mental list combusted into a million fragments of the beautiful Latina.

Brooke’s back arched with the need to be with Vanessa, to give her everything and more, to release all of the emotions she’d had since that first day and show her how she really felt in a way that transcended the English language.

Her hands made her way through the girl’s dark hair, down to her lower back, exploring Vanessa’s body in a frantic exciting way - unable to stop and stay anywhere at the thought of what lay beyond.

They were two athletes, two perfectionists, pushing themselves to further and further limits till the race was over and they didn’t even know who had came in first place, who had crossed that barrier before the other, but it didn’t matter, because as they lay there holding one another in the beautiful catastrophe of Vanessa’s bed, the only thing that mattered was that they had done it together.

#rpdr fanfiction #brooke lynn hytes #vanessa vanjie mateo #yvie oddly #branjie #bring it on #high school au #lesbian au #cheerleader au #mild smut #ashley #concrit welcome #submission #s11

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gapimnydiaries · 7 years ago

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Diary Entry #21: White Gays are better Filmmakers: What I learned about inclusivity from being a Gaysian filmmaker

Dear Diary,

“The Less I know the Better” by Tame Impala was playing on Apple Music as a good friend consoled me. I was in a space no larger than a handicapped single-stalled restroom. There was just one tiny single bed, a small TV and what you’d call a closet (but wasn’t really). There weren’t any windows and the only source of light I had was a mood lamp I bought at Ace Hardware™ in a mall called Grand Indonesia in Jakarta. I remembered I was trying to play it cool when, in truth, I was crumbling on the inside.

Earlier in the day, I had a Skype call with television development executives from Los Angeles who initially hired us to write a “diverse and progressive” series. But after a series of drafts, we found out that, like most people in a place of privilege, they weren’t as woke as they thought they were. After whitewashing and slashing the storylines that explored the complexities of being a person of color in America, they wanted us to reduce the women characters to serve the interests of the straight, male protagonist. “It’s a post-racial Millennial world” they explained. To make matters worse, the entire call was filled with attempts to other-ize me, from asking what it’s like to live in a rural village in Singapore to pointing out that my iPhone text-tone -- “ding!” -- was some kind of Asian praying bell.

Afterwards, I really wanted to email them and write: this type of behavior is ignorant and unacceptable. But, considering that I really needed the job and I had a writing partner who told me to let it go because we didn’t want to be rude, I remained silent. The silence of course, was really painful because obviously, this wasn’t the first time something like this had happened. In fact, it happens all the time. When people like me speak up about micro-aggressions or feeling left out, the people in power get angry and then I have to take care of their fragile feelings instead of validating my own. I’m always left feeling silenced, powerless and usually attacked for being “oversensitive.” The only thing I could do at the time was to call my friend and be temporarily consoled while listening to Tame Impala (Yes, I should’ve picked a better band for the occasion).

By this time, I had been alone in Indonesia (not Singapore) for 5 months. I was deep in pre-production on a short film called, Pria. During this time, I’d traveled across Java for months and interviewed countless gay Indonesians who either lived or had lived in rural areas. The film ended up being an amalgamation of their experiences told from their perspective, the perspective of the minority. So, within this context, the experience of that not-so-woke-ignorant phone call felt like such a step backwards, especially after being in Indonesia and realizing how ignorance of minority experiences can have such negative consequences. With these LA Execs, I met privileged people who wanted to promote and capitalize on the “global and diverse” world that “we live in right now,” but were so out of touch with the reality of what diversity really means that they ended up, perhaps unknowingly, becoming part of the problem.

◆◆◆

The author directs a scene on the set of Pria

Curious villagers watching the playback monitor during filming

The author and crew filming a scene in the morning

The author and producers stroll through the village “set”

◆◆◆

Out of all my intersectional identities, my “Asian-American-ness” has always been the hardest to fully embrace. I was born in Indonesia and moved to the US in elementary school. In Indonesia, I’m a minority because I don’t look Indonesian and I’m not Muslim. I’m mostly ethnically Chinese but none of my family members know any Chinese or anything about China. When I returned to Indonesia to do Pria, the locals there thought that I was from anywhere BUT Indonesia. When I came to the US for the first time, people were confused AF. They’d mock my accent and would always yell out “Ni Hau!” I’d try to correct them and tell them that I’m not Chinese, but that only confused the shit out of them. They would counter with the only two other Asian countries they’d heard of: Japan and Thailand (I mean really, if you wanna mock someone, get educated, people). There were definitely other FOB children at school, but most, if not all of them, were actually Chinese or Korean so they’d form their own communities out of their shared culture and language. Plus, the word FOB never felt like it applied to me; I came here on a plane, not a boat.

◆◆◆

(Far Right) The author with his siblings at a mall in 1996

◆◆◆

While I had such a confusing time trying to fit within the definition of Asian American, Gay was something that was always clear. That’s not to say that I didn’t have a hard time; like most queers, it was a process. But I always knew that I was gay and there was no question where I fit within that definition. So, when I started making “professional” short, queer films in 2011, I felt like I finally found a community that embraced me for me, for my work, and not the way I looked, or sounded, or how I presented myself. The LGBTQ film community has always supported me. Since I started, my shorts have been accepted to most LGBTQ film festivals domestically and internationally. But a troubling pattern began to emerge as I attended these festivals year after year. The majority of the films I saw were not diverse and mostly affirmed and celebrated the str8 white male ideal. There was always a lack of diversity, not only in the films, but also the filmmakers and organizers. I would always be one of the few (if not the only) minority filmmakers on the Q & A stage.

◆◆◆

The author attends a photocall at Frameline39: San Francisco LGBT Film Festival in 2015

The author at the Q&A for his short film, “Pipe Dream” at the Castro Theater, San Francisco (June 2015)

◆◆◆

This didn’t bother me at first, but after continually facing micro-aggressions at these LGBTQ festivals, in clubs, apps, and other Queer spaces, it started to really impact the way I saw myself and how I fit within the community. It already sucked enough having to deal with ignorant str8 people, but it’s much more hurtful when it comes from the community that you thought you were a part of. A community that promotes itself as being inclusive, a community that knows what invalidation feels like, and a community of film festivals run by, well, mostly people who identify as LGBTQ.

When I arrived at the centerpiece party for the 2017 Frameline: San Francisco LGBT Film Festival, the majority of the attendees were Gay White Men. I felt like I had just stumbled into an exclusive Mean Girls clique. It honestly felt like I was in a Gay club trying to scan for anyone with an interest in talking to an Asian. The way that everyone looked at me, just looking right through me, made me feel like I didn’t exist. When I told them about my short film from Indonesia, I was met with all sorts of assumptions. One sleazy, white producer from New York (who was trying to fuck an Australian actor all night) told me, “I’ve always wanted to go to Indonesia, it’s so exotic!” He then patted me on the back, “It must be so tough for the ladyboys there.” I guess even in a creative, inclusive, “safe” space like a Queer festival party, it’s as hierarchical as it would be in any other social Gay space, with whites taking the top spot. I wanted to think that this was an isolated incident because I’d been to this same exact party twice before and had a fantastic time. But, I slowly remembered, those other two times, I went with my white friends. There were, in fact, other incidents that occurred throughout the week including (but not limited to): being mistaken for another Asian on 3 different occasions and being grabbed in the ass by someone as I was leaving my Q & A (the latter could just be straight up sexual harassment and has nothing to do with race… but, in my experience, just looking like an “Asian Twink” in a Gay space usually gives other men the permission to violate our bodies...plus the Australians and Norwegian there didn’t get their asses grabbed).

◆◆◆

The author attends a photocall for the shorts program, “Worldly Affairs” at Frameline41: San Francisco LGBT Film Festival

The author during the Q&A session for “Pria” at the Castro Theater, San Francisco (June 2017)

◆◆◆

Of course, how can these white people understand wtf is going on with us “ethnic folk” if most of the films in these programs just affirm their str8-white privileged personhood ideal? There’s already a lack of Gaysians in the mainstream media and when we are ~lucky~ enough to make it on screen, we are only reduced to exotic stereotypical objects of desire or sexless, unattractive background players. If these are the only images shoved down everyone’s throat, it’s no wonder we’re always considered an Other…

Because these LGBTQ film festivals promote themselves as an inclusive safe space, this time, I decided to speak up. Surely, they would somehow understand. These organizers would know what it's like to grow up and not see (LGBTQ) characters like themselves on screen, or at least ones who weren’t child molesters, rapists, villains, creepy psychopathic old men or “sissies” serving as the butt of the joke that reduces their personhood to a minstrel show. They would understand what it would feel like to be erased, othered and/or misrepresented.

I sent out a mass email, Bcc-ing every LGBTQ festival that I’d been accepted to this year (and ones I was rejected from). In the email, I detailed how, when attending these Western festivals, I was always seen and treated as “other” because of my race. I told them how much their programming affects how LGBTQ POC are seen and treated within the general community. I tried to explain that by not including films like Pria, films from the other half of the world, in their LGBTQ Film Festivals, they are effectively erasing our stories and shutting us out. If there are minority films, we’re almost always grouped by race or by issue (why do white people only like us when we’re a cause to fight for? Even then, they want us to be a cause with hope). Are we not good enough to be part of the regular gay white programming? In times like these, programmers, the gatekeepers and privileged people in power have the responsibility to really examine what diversity means to them. Honest and complex representations of minorities are important (as well as minorities behind the scenes). This also means being strategic in programming these types of films. Not only do they determine how other people in the majority see and treat us, but they also shape the way we think and feel about ourselves.

The responses to the email were varied. “Seriously. Well-put,” said one LGBTQ festival. The rest refused to consider my point of view and instead resorted to belittling me and accusing me of being bitter for not having gained a spot in their program (like, honey, please. I sent the email to festivals that I DID get into too). But, to be honest, I am fucking bitter. These invalidating responses automatically reminded me of what happened in Indonesia a year before: that Skype call with the executives, and the many other times where I was either whitesplained and/or mansplained.

So yes. I’m absolutely bitter and I’m fucking angry.

How can I not be when I see these LGBTQ programmers complain about Donald Trump or say that they’re promoting diversity when their actions (or inaction) speak otherwise? Diversity isn’t just literally black and white, it’s something more complex; it occupies the gray area in the middle. Many people seem to think that just because you put a handful of Black people on screen (there are OTHER races too, you know?) and showcase minority “issue” films (on Gay refugees, Gays in the Middle-East, etc.), they can solve racism and inequality.

In truth, however, the work is far from being done. It doesn’t matter how many POCs are on screen if we are only reduced to stereotypes or, in the opposite case, neutered to the point where our complex experiences are distilled to white-people-cause-of-the-moment or worse, erased altogether. I just want to see my goddamn experiences represented accurately and truthfully.

I know that the work is hard. We have to dismantle a system of oppression that has been in place for hundreds of years that’s still an ongoing problem not just within the LGBTQ community but society at large. But, still, I expected better from our own community. How can a community that is fighting for equality perpetuate a system that promotes the invalidation of members within their own community?

It’s a system that allows for my bosses in LA to ignorantly make insensitive comments about my race via Skype.

It’s a system that enables a white, friend-of-a-friend at a Thanksgiving party to confidently assume, because of where I met the host, my appearance, and my non-English name, that it was my first Thanksgiving.

It’s a system that excuses gays when they put “No Asians” on their Grindr profiles and justify it as just “preference.”

It’s a system that allows an African American drag queen in New York to call me up on stage and mock my race and question my Americanness, while excusing such behavior as jest.

It’s a system where, when I was 17, a white, visiting professor took me to his home and raped me, assuming that I wanted it because I’m a “submissive Asian Bottom” who should’ve “relaxed more so that it would’ve felt better.”

It’s a system where, if I do speak up against the people in power who are supposedly on my side, I’d be dismissed and made to feel that I was the problem, that I was the one who was being overly sensitive and needed to check my feelings.

But, the thing is, I’ve been checking my feelings. I’ve been checking my damn feelings every day of my life. And you know what? I’m tired. I’m tired of them saying, “I can’t be racist or ignorant, I have black friends...” or “You obviously haven’t seen our program, we have an eye for colored people!” or whatever dumb-fuck excuse they use to deflect from the actual problem and validate their inaction/behavior/ignorance. It’s time for them to check their own damn feelings and realize that for real change to happen, they need to shut the hell up and listen. I’m sure they’re all well-meaning, but in the end, good intentions won’t matter much when the results are tone-deaf and continue to facilitate segregation and inequality.

I think that as we gain more acceptance within the mainstream, those who are now in a place of privilege tend to forget what it felt like to be in the minority. They forget those in the past who helped fight for our rights, they forget other members of their own communities who are still suffering, they forget what it felt like to be degraded for who they truly are, they forget what the real MO of the LGBTQ community is: Equality. There isn’t just one answer that will fix this Racism problem. The work needs to be highly personal and it starts with examining our own selves. It starts with listening to other members of the community without preconceived judgments and really examining the whys and hows of this system (of privilege) operating within our own lives. And look, I really get it. It’s hard to ask yourself why you’re not attracted to Asians, or why you’re still repulsed by femininity, or why this minority still feels left out when you went out of your way to create a safe space for them. We all want to believe that we’re fighting and living for the right things. And I think it’s now time to stop believing and start doing the real work.

As the Tame Impala song came to a close, I stared intently at my Ace Hardware™ Lamp. It was my only source of (literal and somewhat figurative) light, so after being in this dark room holding in my feelings, the warm glow of the light was oddly comforting. I started sobbing and my friend said, “Don’t worry they’re just hypocritical wannabe-liberal white execs… What else can you do?”

“But..,” I responded. “One of them is black.”

With much love, forever and always, Yudho Vanderhof Aditya

Yudho is a recipient of the 2016 Director’s Guild of America Best Asian American Student Director Award. He’s working on a feature film about gaysian Americans, if you’d like to share your experiences with him (which he will repay via coffee or tea at most NYC cafés), contact him: 📧: [email protected] IG: youdough

#gay #gaysian #gay asian #racism #diversity #queer #gaysiandiaries #gapimny

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thornstocutyouwith · 6 years ago

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4:55 PM] Karma:

Seti had watched Sean and Darius for a moment before reaching over and running a hand along Sean's arm and saying " Oh come on, we can all hang out. It would be the first time we all really got to sit down and get to know one another. A night on the town, booze. Some clubbing. It'll be great. I won't let anyone take advantage of you...If you were worried about that." He gave a small wink then, before he pulled away and looked toward Darius " I am absolutely down for some partying!" Pulling away from Sean then he walked toward the others to continue talking. However, Sean never really did seem to take the offer, not liking that he might have to share time with Seti, it seemed. The days went by quickly after that, seemingly all blending together. And things head soon seemed to level out. A record deal had been put down on the table. The band members themselves had been growing steadily use to a life of fame that would soon be awaiting them in their future. Seti had also grown close enough to the others in this time that he could consider them all some of his very best friends. Seti of course head other friends too. But a band was more like an adoptive family, all coming together to harmonize.

[4:55 PM] Karma:

Once in the studio after their first signing had been finalized he tilt his head as Darius was repeating the words to the band Queen " Darius, that's Queen. We need something a little you know...Not a cover of another bands song." He grinned then before walking passed Darius to go sit on the couch set along the wall in the room. Crossing his legs he leaned back and held up a notebook full of frayed papers " You could probably try and make something out of these, if you wanted. It's a lot of ramblings I used to do while in school. My lit teacher said I would be a very good author, if my lines weren't so brief and didn't seem more like lyrics instead." He gave a shrug then before tossing the notebook onto the coffee table " Or don't.." Tristan looked toward the others before smiling at Sean " It's very lovely lyrics. I knew you were gifted. But it's illegal to claim Queen lyrics as our own." Tristan walked over to the notebook then " AH! I got it! Sean can make something out of these-" He looked through the notebook for a moment " Or get some ideas? ... We can officially hire him as a PR and lyricist for the band then. That way he can come with us and not work at a fucking diner anymore." However he looked to Darius and Sean as the other made the comment toward their drummer " That'll be some juicy drama in the future..." He muttered with an eye roll before dropping the notebook back down onto the coffee table.

[4:56 PM] Karma:

Asher had walked in as Shay was talking about Sean having a diary and paused to stare at the siblings " Only women have diaries, Sean. You're fruity little ass should be writing in a journal. But far be it from me to correct your parents fuck up this late in the game. --ANYWAY, my lovely little band. We are going to have spots on some local tours for quite a few popular bands these next few months. Let's get to work and make the people want us, huh." He then threw some flyers in Sean's lap " A word to the wise, coward." Lowering his head down to Sean's level he gave a very cold, serious look, piercing blue green eyes staring strikingly into Sean's warm brown ones "Before making fun of someone else's talents. Take a big long look at your own. OR lack there off, bus boy." Pulling away then he grins " Get to work!"

[7:59 AM] Soup:

It was just a crush. That was what Sean kept telling himself. The more time he spent with the band, specifically Seti, the more he felt drawn to him. However, the more Seti and the band started getting popular, the more Sean was pulling away and building a wall. He wasn't a part of that life no matter how much Tristan and Shay tried to include him. Darius and Asher however, didn't give a shit and it was hard to deny that something had been going on with Shay. Something that involved mood swings, strange cravings at strange times and morning sickness.... Darius had scoffed at Seti's observation. “I know that you idiot, did you miss the memo where I said I was reading from Sean's diary?”

[7:59 AM] Soup:

Sean was embarrassed, irritated, and Asher adding in his own two cents wasn't helping any either. “It isn't a diary you jackasses, I like the song so I wrote it down.” The song had hit home as he glanced at Seti. He had appreciated that Tristan was trying to include him, that was what friends did after all. Clearly there was one person that wasn't letting him -near- the band and Sean had reached for the notebook Seti had tossed onto the coffee table -- If there was one thing Sean actually -was- good at, it was writing the music that went -with- the lyrics. As Asher continued being an ass, Sean had started humming a tune to go along with the lyrics that Seti had wrote. It had been enough to catch Shay's attention, turning toward her brother as he gave Asher the finger and favored writing music notes underneath the lyrics Seti had written over jumping to his feet to hand out flyers.

[7:59 AM] Soup:

Shay had stood up, bending over to pick up the book, humming the notes that Sean had just wrote down. “Seti, --- look at this.” Shay had handed the book to Seti as Sean muttered that it was nothing and gathered up the flyers in his hands as he stood up. “Stop that, it -is- something.” To prove it she had picked up her bass guitar and started playing the music notes that Sean had written. “I think we just found your hidden talent” A few days had passed after that and by the end of the week Sean had written the music for all the original songs Seti had jotted down in his notebook. He had felt however, that as much as he despised Darius, one particular song would be stronger if there was more of a beat on the drums in the background to the song. Sean had sneaked into the room the band had started using for their practice sessions, not expecting Seti to be in that room alone at two in the morning like he was. “---oh, I didn't think anybody was going to be here – if you want to be alone, I can come back a little later. I just.. I had an idea and-- yeah. That's why I'm here.” Why did he feel so nervous?

[7:59 AM] Soup:

Meanwhile, on the other side of town, Sean and Seti weren't the only two awake at two in the morning – though Shay was awake for an entirely different reason as she paced the bathroom and held a stick between her fingertips. “Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK!” She was pregnant – and she knew -exactly- who the father was.

#Asher #AsherPara #Seti #SetiPara #TristanPara #ShayPara #DariusPara #SeanPara #OfWondersAndHares #Tristan #BandAU #BandSeti #BandAsher #BandTristan #TristanAU #AsherAU #SetiAU #AU

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drlindamurraytenacity-blog · 7 years ago

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Tenacity

The Wet Putting Green-----One day a whole group of us went riding our bikes. The University of Manitoba was very close by and was within our allowed riding range. Near the university there was a private golf course. At the time the course was not fenced it. It is now. On this day we stopped our bikes and put them out of sight. There was a putting green close to a clump of trees very close to University Crescent and it was so tempting. It had just been watered and it was a very warm day. We took off our shoes and socks and walked on the putting green. I have never felt grass so soft, lush, and green. The recent watering made the grass feel so cool on our hot feet. This was like a magical moment for me.I have since learned that in the field of Psychology that this would be labeled as a ‘Peak Experience’. I still love the feeling of wet grass under my bare feet.

Mr. Kroecker -----When I entered grade 7 we had to go to a brand new combined junior/senior high school. The thing is that there was only one new school for both junior and senior high students. The school principal's name was Mr. Kroecker[sp]. What an amazing little man. He was about five feet tall and very light in build. He had a very soft voice and a gentle way about him. I was to learn so much from him and he was one of my greatest supports while I went through my junior and senior years. He would start off every year by visiting every incoming class of students. He would ask us to stand up and give him our names and the names of older and younger siblings. By the end of the year he knew every student's name and family member’s names. It is interesting that this small man had a huge presence in the school. He would wander around as much as he could and he would always be wearing a plaid jacket made from the school tartan. He would wander into classes as much as possible and he would take students out into the hallway if he wanted to talk to you. This approach would not be as scary for students as being sent to the principal's office. Often the talk was positive not negative. It became clear that he was aware that things were not great for us at home and he went out of his way to make both Desmond and I feel at home at school. This was a theme that carried on the experience I had the first two years at school. More on him later. I realize now that I loved this man. What kind of love Im not sure but I felt great in his presence and I knew he would do anything to help me out. It made me feel loved.

Piano Only----I was about 13 or 14 when my interest in music really began to developed. The school I went to had a fantastic band program. I wanted to get into the band. I wanted to play either percussion or trumpet. I had gone to the band information session and picked up the trumpet and was able to get a clear note. Not an easy thing to do if you have not played one before. When I went home I asked about the trumpet and joining the band. I knew what their response was going to be. No! Joining the band was too expensive. I was also not going to play the trumpet. What was so frustrating is that the lessons would cost nothing, the trumpet could be rented at a low price, and there were ways to fund raise. I was told if I wanted to learn music then I could take piano lessons and use the piano in the house. No more discussion. They did not seem to realize that it would probably cost more for private piano lessons. This whole thing did not make any sense. But my father told me that he did not want his daughter playing a trumpet, that trumpets were played by men not women. This was weird. Why was it OK I learned to build a cabin and a boat, and clear land but only men played trumpets. I think that this decision was more stepmonster’s feminisation plan than anything else. And looking back this is the only reason that this made sense.

Ping Pong---After my father and us kids finished the basement of our house on Silverstone Street he built a ping pong table. I loved playing ping pong. I don't remember much about playing with my brothers but I do remember playing with my father. He would play hard enough to allow me a chance to win on occasions but when I became good at it he started playing hard. These games were great fun. I would win about half of the time and the games were always close. I have to admit that he was a good looser when I did beat him. He also hatted poor sports.

The Toilet Seat----As I have mentioned previously I didn't rebel often when I was young. But I did lie about something and didn't get caught. Its funny, I almost always told the truth even if it would get me into trouble. I did keep information from my parents about Desy and Kevin when I was babysitting but other than that I was pretty honest. One day I was using nail polish remover to take of a coat of nail polish of my nails, I had tried polish to see if it would help me stop biting my nails. One day I was using nail polish remover on bathroom tissue to remove the polish and when I was finished I threw it into the toilet and closed the lid. Oppps. The tissue got caught between the lid and the seat and damaged the seat. So I removed the paper and flushed the mess. This time I decided that I was not going to tell the truth. I wanted to see if I could get away with it. I was tired of being accused of doing things that I had not done so I thought I should do something with which I could be accused of that I actually did. Dad lined us up in a row like always and start to grill us. According to my father, it is one thing to do something wrong but much worse to lie about it. That became ‘direct disobedience.’ When my father lined the three of us up to grill us about the damage on the seat, I lied. All of us said that we were innocent of the crime and I did not own up to it and neither did the boys. For once I lied straight to my father's face. It felt good. He said, once again ‘Mr. Nobody’ did it. He got blamed when my father could not pin it on a particular culprit. Desy was always ragging on me for being a little goody goody. He didn't have a clue. If my dad had started in on Kevin I would have come clean and told him to say sorry to Kevin. That would have been worth it no matter what the punishment. He didn't and I never told the truth, till now.

Girl Guides-----When I was about 11 or 12 I was pushed to join the “Girl Guides”. Stepmonster wanted me be more of a girl, instead of a ‘tom boy’. I tried but I just didn’t get it. It did not last for long though my brothers were allowed to be Boy Scouts, including going to camp. I was having trouble fitting in with the Guides. Primarily, I could do just about anything that they got badges for and I couldn’t see the point of the whole process. Then I got an application for the Girl Guide Camp. I was hopping I could go, I could escape for a while. But it was not to be and I knew it before I even got home. I knew that when they saw how much it was going to cost to send me to camp they would said I couldn’t go. I was right again. The boys could go camping with the scouts, and it was cheap, but for me it was going to cost hundreds of dollars. They were not about to pay for this and all of the clothes I would be required to take with me. Everything had to be issued by the Girl Guide organization, even underpants. If I wanted to be a boy before I sure wanted to be one now. I hated being a girl. Why could I not go to the Boy Scouts? Everything the boys got to do that I was not allowed to do with the Guides. I wanted to be able to do everything that boys were allowed to do! Stepmonster was willing to pay my dues at the guides but not camp. So I quit and she was not happy. I said that it wasn’t fair that the boys got to go but I wouldn’t get to go camping. I told them if I couldn’t participate I was quitting and I did.

The Mirror----Desmond had a bit of a run in with my father and my dad had sent him to his room. Desy was being a brat in the process and was basically taunting my father. He was about thirteen, I think. My father was sitting in the sittingroom with a clear view of the hallways that our bedrooms came of from. Desy did something else on the way to his room and made my father very angry. My father had the habit of firing his slipper at us when we were being mouthy. So he fired one of his slippers at Desmond. Oppps. The slipper cleanly missed Desy and it continued to the end of the hall. There was a mirror and a fancy table at the end of the hall. And you guessed it the slipper hit the mirror and shattered it into chunks of mirror that rained down on the fancy table that my stepmonster had at the end of the hall for decorative purposes. I had been in my room at the time and my door was right where the mirror shattered. When I opened my door I could see great big chunks mirror impaled on the table. We kids just about killed ourselves laughing. Even my father thought it was funny but didn’t laugh. But stepmonster did not think it was so funny. Her table had been damaged. My father spent a lot of time fixing that table.

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symbianosgames · 8 years ago

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The following blog post, unless otherwise noted, was written by a member of Gamasutra’s community. The thoughts and opinions expressed are those of the writer and not Gamasutra or its parent company.

Note: this post ended up a bit longer than most. I apologize in advance for the lengthy introduction. If you are short on time or despise superhero origin stories and their ilk, I’d suggest you skip to the first bolded section for the actual lessons learned.

Rewind about two decades. My two greatest concerns at the time were finding friends who own an N64 and how the Utah Jazz would fare against Jordan’s Bulls in the NBA finals. I spent most of recess shooting hoops, to relative success—being short didn’t matter as much when nearly everyone is less than half the height of the rim. Whenever there was a break in the action, I paid close attention to a small group of kids sitting in a circle. They were all older than me, and strict playground politics prevented me from approaching. So instead I watched. One kid in the circle would tell some kind of story, and the other kids listened and occasionally offered their own input. Everyone wielded pens and paper—notebook sheets filled with stats, skills, and HP bars.

From that point on, I’d caught a contagion in my mind that would never leave. With no firm knowledge of Dungeons & Dragons or other roleplaying systems, I tested out my own homebrew RPGs with my younger siblings. Later, a middle school friend named Tommy showed me his 3rd edition D&D books. I admired the leather, brass, and gemstone design of the cover, and the fantasy illustrations within. I designed a character—a highly charismatic, badass half-elf bard (everything I wanted to be, but wasn’t)—and we played a couple short one-off sessions, but never started a true campaign. Board games like Hero Quest and Talengarde enthralled me, but in the end they only made me long for a true D&D campaign with an experienced Dungeon Master.

In high school and college I let my desire to play D&D fall dormant. I had nerdy friends. I had story-loving friends. I had gamer friends. But it never seemed like I had the right group of friends for tabletop RPGs. Consequently, I resigned myself to a lifetime without the connections I thought I needed to start a D&D campaign.

Then, several months ago, a Critical Role stream showed up on the front page of Twitch. After watching Matt Mercer and his fellow voice actors play I was hooked once more. I quickly began to binge-watch episodes of the online D&D campaign so I could catch up with the story (with over 90 episodes available on YouTube I still haven’t quite caught up). Add to that the numerous D&D references in many of the shows my wife and I love—Community, Stranger Things, and Freaks & Geeks, to name a few—and the craving to play returned tenfold. With a sparkly degree in creative writing and a current job as a game designer, I decided the easiest way to play might be to adopt the mantle of DM myself. So I did, after I found a few fabulous friends and a wife who were all willing to play with a first-time DM.

We haven’t played long, but the experience has been wonderful and exhausting, fun and frustrating, and above all: illuminating. It’s obvious that D&D teaches good narrative design principles for game development, but I was surprised by how much I learned about non-narrative game design from D&D in a relatively short time. I want to briefly share some of those insights here.

My first DM session (complete with hastily-prepared DM screen)

1. Don’t be an evil designer.

As we started our first game, one of my players recounted a previous campaign that was ended on the first night. Apparently, the DM ambushed the team of first level players with an entire army of goblins. They were, of course, summarily overrun. Unfortunately some DMs view the player/DM relationship as inherently antagonistic. This is only partially true. The DM might create antagonists to challenge the player, but the end goal for a good DM is for his or her players to have fun and tell a great, collaborative story. Likewise, good video game designers should take care not to view the player/designer relationship as antagonistic or competitive. A correct mindset could be “how can I help the player have fun or become a better player,” whereas a problematic mindset might be “how can I show the player how clever my design decisions are.”

Of course, as is often the case, exceptions to this rule exist. As part of his ongoing informational YouTube series, Matt Colville spent one video discussing funhouse dungeons. These are dungeons deliberately designed to beguile, vex, and stymie the players through ingenious traps and madcap puzzles. As Colville outlines in the video, a funhouse dungeon disrupts the “evil designer” rule because the players expect to be beguiled, vexed, stymied, and even killed. That is part of the fun. Some video games, such as the Dark Souls series, rely on a nearly antagonistic relationship with their playerbase. But even funhouse dungeons and brutally tough games should always keep their players’ enjoyment in mind.

2. Balance tension and release.

For a long time, my understanding of D&D largely revolved around combat encounters and skill checks. I saw the story opportunities, but the plot seemed to exist only to prop up the dice rolls and tactical (or not-so-tactical) swashbuckling. Then I watched an episode of Critical Role after the party defeated a dragon, and my mindset from the previous two decades suddenly reversed. DM Matt Mercer and the players spent around four hours collecting loot and recovering in the bard Scanlan’s magical mansion. I saw how D&D, along with other roleplaying games, could serve as a vehicle for storytelling and character building. After a very tense battle—who wouldn’t be tense after defeating an ancient dragon—the characters very naturally decided to recuperate and blow off some steam.

I think watching Critical Role or DM-ing a campaign can help a game designer get a feel for the balance between tension and release. As a designer, look for chances to both ramp up the tension as well as opportunities for your players to relax. Cutscenes are a common choice for emotional release, but I think minigames, house building options, or even crafting loot can work just as well or even better.

3. Give players the information they need.

As a DM you quickly (very quickly) learn that your players will often either look past information you intended to be important or hone in on details you never intended to be important. I’ve learned that it’s good to include a few “failsafes” in the campaign to give your players multiple chances to catch an essential plot detail. As a DM or game designer it’s all too easy to fall into the trap of thinking your players will act the way you would. You might think the solution is obvious, but there’s a decent chance that’s not the case. Try and give your players multiple chances to see or hear the information they need.

When we brought an early demo of Alkanaur (our current video game project) to an exhibition, I thought most people would win the little 3-on-3 tactical battle handily. I was wrong. Nearly everyone who played lost to the 3 A.I. opponents in our demo. I failed to realize how my own personal experiences, including a wealth of familiarity from playing similar tactics games, were not part of some Jungian collective consciousness that all gamers share. Of course you’ll have reasons to obscure some pieces of information in your game. But whenever you make a conscious decision to hide information from the player, make sure to pause and ask yourself “why?” Can’t find a good reason? Perhaps you should consider including that info in the game.

4. Not all bands are Rush.

I’m shamelessly stealing this from Matt Colville’s excellent video on D&D player types—I highly suggest watching his video to get the best understanding of the reference. But essentially, Mr. Colville meant that it’s not easy to find a group of people who will all enjoy telling a collaborative story together in the exact same way—just like it’s not easy to find a group of musicians (Rush) who will all enjoy playing the same type of music for decades. If you find a group of players like that—awesome! But DMs shouldn’t feel like a campaign’s shortcomings fall solely on their shoulders.

On the other hand, Matt points out in his video that it’s not the players fault either—and this was the part of the video that really clicked for me as a game designer. Players love games for a wide variety of reasons. At the game exhibition I mentioned earlier, we had a few young children try our Alkanaur demo. I was tempted to explain to them that they might not “get” the game, but it turns out they probably had more fun than any of our other playtesters—even if that fun simply came from moving around the game’s battlefield and giggling as the enemies gave chase. As a game designer, you don’t need to convert all gamers to your definition of fun. Realize that your game might not appeal to everyone, and also recognize that players might find new ways to enjoy your game, and that’s okay.

I look forward to more adventures run by Matt Mercer on Critical Role, as well as more tips from Matt Colville and the other wonderful D&D content creators on YouTube. And of course I’m especially excited to continue my own campaign as a DM. If you, like me, are a game designer that was always curious about D&D but never got the chance to experience it, give it a try! Watch a D&D live stream or a YouTube video. Reach out to a local game store about opportunities to play, or start your own game like me. I’ll wager that you’ll learn a lot about your craft and have fun doing it.

#IFTTT #Blogger

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