#my sexuality is fluid

[inkskinned]

you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.

you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.

he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.

a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.

he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.

you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.

people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.

wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.

also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.

he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."

you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.

"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."

he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.

you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.

is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?

you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.

[gay-otlc]

For some people, sexuality is blurry and complicated and fluid. For other people, sexuality is entirely clear cut and simple and rigid. Neither way to experience sexuality is any better or worse. Don't harass people for experiencing sexuality differently than you do, and don't tell anyone that you know their sexuality better than they do or that their sexuality is wrong.

If your sexuality is clear cut and not fluid, no one has the right to tell you that your sexuality is fluid. But also, you don't have the right to tell them their sexuality isn't fluid.

[enbysiriusblack]

marlene sneaks into the marauder's dorm to steal their clothes (butch marlene with a trad mum fr) and leaves her skirts and dresses and shit in place of what she takes.

cue marauders casually wearing school skirts on weekdays and puffy blouses and on weekends they've got miniskirts and summer dresses and strappy heels, etc.

[menlove]

half this website really is like

gender is fake! tear down the gender binary! identify as anything you want!! it's a social construct!

........sexuality, on the other hand.... now THAT'S immutable, ancient, and sacred. these definitions are set in stone and real and everyone must follow them exactly or you are being xyz-phobic. what do you mean we're still just enforcing the gender binary. no no THIS time the gender essentialism is true and good and anything else is gross :/

[bayetea]

I'm gonna froth at the mouth over this in the tags so bear with me but reason #1278038 why the way rick went about breaking up jiper was bad: rereading her povs in hoo where she gushes over jason feels like even more of an unreliable narrator queer girl comphet psychological horror story

[needsukunainmymouth]

Exclus: Sexuality isn't fluid. You're just bi/wanna be special/have comphet/some other brain dead take

My human sexuality class:

[lumism]

happy pride month everyone i really did not plan to but i just came out to my mum which has been a seven year long process so umm! yay 🫶

[uncanny-tranny]

Two things that are simultaneously true:

1. Gender and sexuality are complex and can be fluid. An identity isn't always fixed and can change with time for many reasons

2. It is not acceptable to force others to change their gender or sexuality and the mantra that they (queer people) can change if they only "try hard" is both cruel and homophobia and/or transphobia

[iceeericeee]

Me: I'm so glad i finally figured out my identity! it took a while, but i can finally say with confidence that i am aroace

my gender: ...

me: don't even FUCKING think about it

[sugarcoatednightshade]

Tired of seeing fic on ao3 claiming to be based off dune the book series when it’s very obvious that the writer has only seen dune the movie(s).

Yes, it matters. Yes, these are very different works. You’re probably doing this for visibility; I don’t care. Archive Of Our Own is a fucking archive, stop labeling your works with a tag you know is factually incorrect. It makes it impossible for me to filter for fics I want to read.

[inexplicably-spookified]

diversity win! this witch is bi... lingual?

[mychlapci]

people need to get really freaky with transformers sex, pregnancy and birth. and child-raising also. most of the time when i see transformers pregnancy it's all too similar to human pregnancy. and there's nothing really wrong with it, mind you, i'm into it, but i just feel like its not fair. i mean, the writers were so determined to make sure transformers are incapable of having sex and birthing babies that they created the most fucked up and inconsistent canon system of reproduction in the world. us transformers sex believers need to get fucked up with it too. on purpose

[ne0nwithazero]

Me when I try to make characters with weird gender and sexuality situations and people sass me because I'm not making them fit into stereotypes 😭God forbid these things be a spectrum

[gayferrari]

Bringing back the horny vibes by saying that some of the drivers this year (and those stupid hot TikTok edits) made me rethink my whole sexuality and I went from being a confident lesbian to “maybe I like 1% of men”

I sit safe in the knowledge that I find them hot in the way a fictional character can be hot... you know that clip of Aragorn opening the doors? That lives in the same space in my brain as Lewis's hands do :3 I'm not gonna fuck you but I want you to get fucked kinda vibes

[shapelytimber]

hiiii i love your sapphic sw au a ton and as a bigender bisexual person who feels very isolated from both sapphic And mlm spaces a lot because of The Genders i think its really cool how vocally and aggressively inclusive of bi and nonbinry people you and your art are- I love the lesbians and the bisexual girlies and non-girlies in your au, i hope u keep making awesome sapphic art 💓💓💓

Hello !

Thank you for your kind message, and I am so happy you feel included ! bi 4 lesbian and nb 4 cis solidarity now and always <3

I'm honestly so baffled at the amount of biphobia from other queers ?? Idk if I'm just naive, friends with the right peoples or it's something cultural, but irl i never encountered such blatant casual biphobia ??? Bi erasure, sure it happens, and that's something to be aware of. But such casual bigotry, accidental or not, from other queer people is shocking to me- but then again I'm not bi so that's not something I ever experienced myself.

I will continue making sapphic (and non sapphic) art, and I hope you'll always feel included :)