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impostoradult · 3 years ago

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So I've got to ask, because I stopped watching SPN at the end of season 4 (because Kripke said it'd end at the end of season 5 and I didn't want it to end, but then it didn't and a friend of mine just said that it turned into crap and I wanted to keep it good in my mind so... Well I didn't watch the seasons after that) but I'm kind of wondering if I should watch it? Is it... Good? I'm thinking about character developpement mostly, the story in general... And the finale: will I want to forget about it or... ?

Second ask which is totally non related: as for Jensen Ackles, what is it about people saying he is homophobic? Every interview I've seen... The guy seems pretty charming ? But I haven't been following him much so maybe I'm mistaking ?

Whew! You have asked 2 questions about which whole books could be written.

Here's what I'll say re: is Supernatural Good/Worth Watching all the way through. Seasons 4 & 5 are the peak of the show in terms of general story-telling quality. The entire show post season 5 is VERY hit or miss from episode to episode, and from season to season.

However, there's also a TON of great stuff that comes after season 5, particularly interesting character development stuff with all the leads at various points. And there are some awesome side characters that get introduced like Charlie and Rowena and Kevin, who are really fun and add a lot in their occasional appearances. Also there are some truly stand-out episodes and arcs in those later seasons. The problem is, you have to wade through a fair amount of eye-rolling, repetitive, and sometimes just plain lazy or ill-conceived nonsense to get to the good stuff. You DO have to slog. And you have to be willing to put up with some TRULY stupid writing choices along the way. Do I think it's worth it?

Ultimately, my answer is yes. But BARELY. Just barely.

I'll also say, while the incorporation of Castiel varies a lot in both amount and quality from season to season after S5, overall the Dean/Castiel storyline within the show is incredibly compelling. As a long-form slow-burn romance, it is one of the most gripping pieces of romantic storytelling I've ever seen (and I'm including hetero pairings in that statement as well). So if that is something you are invested in (or think you might be), Supernatural becomes A LOT more worth watching.

Which leads me to the ending, which in truth, I never watched. I stopped watching at 15x19. I know enough about what happened in 15x20 to know I don't need to see it. At this point, I'm also fairly certain they are gonna do a sequel/reboot and retcon it, so it doesn't really matter anyway. Jensen Ackles is bound and determined to bring it back at some point, so I'm 95% sure that ending isn't going to stand, no matter what. (Which I am more than fine with. Although I don't enjoy beating dead-horse media franchises in general, he is right to want to retcon it, IMO, and I support him in this endeavor).

And speaking of Jensen Ackles...

The question around his homophobia (or lack thereof) is also super complex. In my personal opinion, no, I don't think he is (though I understand why that idea persists among some fans)

He did demonstrate resistance to the idea of Destiel or queer interpretations of Dean in earlier eras of Supernatural's run, often in the context of Supernatural Fan Conventions when he was speaking off the cuff to questions directly posed to him by fans. And sometimes he wasn't super tactful in how he expressed himself.

But I get the feeling a lot of those incidences were a product of a variety of different things that aren't reducible to personal homophobia on his part:

In the context of those conventions, the actors are acting as PR extensions of the show. And The CW company line for basically ALL of Supernatural's run has been Dean's straight and Destiel is just fan shipping. Jensen Ackles, as a representative of the show, wasn't in a position to disagree publicly with the company line, regardless of how he felt privately. It would have caused a huge shit-storm of blow back if he'd done that. One of my big frustrations with the SPN fandom is the lack of awareness that actors are not allowed to just freely share their thoughts and feelings about the show's content, particularly when they might disagree or disapprove of it. It makes you look unprofessional, as an actor, when you do that. Its like going in front of an audience to announce publicly that you disagree with your boss and think they should have handled something very differently. That's OBVIOUSLY unprofessional, even if/when you are right. These actors have never been in a position to share how they really feel or think about this publicly because of the nature of entertainment PR. Again, I think Jensen hasn't always been tactful in how he handled those situations, but I also don't take ANY of those statements all that seriously because in those moments Jensen was acting primarily as a spokesperson for the "brand"/entity of Supernatural, regardless of his actual thoughts/feelings about anything.

I also think he's probably evolved a lot on this issue over the years, both in terms of his personal politics AND his attitudes about the content of Supernatural. Now this gets into sticky territory because I am now 'reading' Jensen and his life as a public figure. And there is so much more that is hidden versus what is visible. So what follows is HIGHLY speculative on my part and should be understood as such. But, my personal interpretation of his queer politics is he grew up in Texas in the 80s & 90s in a fairly conservative and overtly Christian household (which he has spoken about publicly more than once). And while I doubt he was ever overtly hateful towards queer people, I do suspect he was raised with a lot of the general biases that come with that kind of background. I also think as a result of working in Hollywood for so many years, becoming such deeply close friends with Misha Collins (who, for all his whatever around this, is a polyamorous ultra-lefty hippie), and having the fandom that Supernatural has (which is at a conservative guess 80% queer people), he has probably come a long way from where he started about this. I ALSO think his ideas about queer Dean and Destiel have evolved a lot, though he's never said it explicitly in so many words (because again, I don't think he's ever really been at liberty to). BUT, it was incredibly clear in his very loud silence on the SPN 'finale' he really disliked what they chose to do in 15x20. It was also incredibly clear he was very emotional about 15x18. He had a cast member shoot a private video of the Castiel confession scene for him to keep on his phone. We also know they conducted formal market research on the idea of making the romance between Dean and Cas even more explicitly canon in final seasons. That didn't happen, for reasons we may never know. But it's pretty clear to me that at the start of season 13, they seemed to be setting up that romantic arc pretty heavily. And I think Jensen knew that and maybe even got attached to the idea before the powers that be shut it down for whatever reasons they did.

Again, all of this is my personal understanding which is based on real events and statements and such, but is still an inference based on all of those disparate pieces of data.

But in sum, no I don't think Jensen Ackles is homophobic. Yes, I think he has said a few insensitive things in the past, but I think there was a PR aspect to a lot of it, and I also think he's shown a lot of growth in the right direction over time.

I also think there's like a solid 35% chance he'll retcon the ending of SPN and give Dean and Cas a proper (romantic) ending, out of spite if nothing else. I think there's like a 95% chance he's gonna reboot it. He cannot shut up about it. Whether or not the reboot will do right by the Destiel storyline is far less certain for me. I'm not CONVINCED of the so-called "Jackles long-con" conspiracy theory. But I think there's a solid 1 in 3 chance its real, which is enough possibility that I'm not willing to wash my hands of this yet.

So many other insane fan conspiracy theories about Supernatural have turned out to be right. And this one has more evidence than a decent number of the others.

I hope this insanely long response helps!

#long post #Supernatural #Jackles #Jensen Ackles

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nephilimarecool · 2 years ago

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YJNatural

This is my first fic on tumbler even though I have many on Wattpad as Friendly-Flame so if I make a mistake feel free to tell me or comment in general but please don't hound me about it. Your welcome to request fics as soon as I'm able to figure out how lol. I will do most things but I refuse to do smut, I also reserve the right to turn down a request if I'm uncomfortable and will explain why I refused. At the moment I'm only really writing SPN and YJ but once I'm more used to it I'll do DC, Marvel & SPN. This is the first of a series of fan fics featuring the Winchesters in YJ.

Chapter 1: I Hate Witches

"They're an extremely old family of witches, all the way back to the Salem Witch trials." Sam was reading the collected info off his laptop; we are hunting a family of very old and powerful witches the Mayfairs.

Next to speak was Dean, Castiel listening silently from across the table, Jack by his side. "So we take the guns, fill them with witch killing bullets and go in fast and hard. Charlie and Jack will stay outside and watch the doors. -" I'm pissed, I've gone through nearly as much as he has, Dean has no right to keep me out of this hunt.

"NO." It comes out louder than I intended but I am so mad. Dean tries to reason with me but I only see red.

"Not gonna happen kid. We need you to look after Jack, he's still new to this." I glare at Dean resulting in the older Winchester flinching slightly. I smile to myself.

"Jack’s a Nephilim, he's more equipped for this than we are!" I snap not thinking but simply reacting to the situation. "You need EVERYONE in there Dean, I may be 16 but I can handle myself." I make sure to get my point across and watch as Dean sighs.

"She is right." I'm surprised to see Cas speaking. "Jack does lack experience but as a Nephilim he could easily overpower a witch Jack can not be harmed and her plan does make logical sense, we need her" I love Cas, he's still so much like a soldier, always making the calls others won't yet projecting this calm aura. As much as we bicker these guys are my family.

"Lets go now while it's dark." I suggest, it's only 4am and in the winter months like now the sun doesn't rise till 8. "We have the element of surprise. Plus we all know the plan, no need to go over it again." I sigh slightly at the end.

"Let's hit the road!" Squirrel exclaimed smacking his palm on the table. I have taken to Crowley's nickname for Dean, I miss him, sure he was a demon but he always made me laugh.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Everyone ready?" Asked Moose as we get the weapons from the trunk. Most of us just nod but I decide to be me.

"Crystal pistol." I say laughing at the resting bitch face Sam gives me. I see Dean smiling lightly, I always do get on better with the older Winchester.

The house is empty. I glance at Dean, this isn't good. "It's too quiet." I whisper worried. We had stayed together not splitting up because of the nature of this hunt.

"I sense power from..." Jack pauses for a second. "There." He points to what looks like a cleaning closet. Dean pushes the door open Sam at his side make sure we were behind them. On the wall was a symbol I thought it was nothing till I saw the witch pressing her hand to it in the purple light that followed illuminating the room.

“Cum sanguine et igne dimitto vos. Sanguinis daemone claudo te. Relinque hoc mundo. Relinque hoc mundo. Relinque hoc mundo.”

It was spell. This is bad, all I can see is the violet light before I fall face first into... grass? "Cas? Jack? Moose? Squirrel?" I call standing up unsteadily. That's when I realize I'm 2D. "Great." I mutter sarcastically, we are stuck in a TV show.

I hear a chorus of 'Here' or 'I'm okay' and sigh, turned out we are all mostly un-hurt. I help Dean and Sam too their feet as Cas and Jack were already standing.

"Who are you?" I turn at the gravelly voice to see batman from Young Justice. This was just great. Seeing my family reach for their weapons I shake my head. No. Slowly they drop their hands but not their guard.

"Batman." I stated.

Masterlist

#YoungJustice #Supernatural #Crossover #YJ #SPN #Winchester brother X hunter OC #Castiel X OC (plutonic)#Jack Kline X hunter OC #Team free will 2.0

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maeve-writes · 4 years ago

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The Significance of Fair Food

Pairings: Human!Castiel x Reader

Rating: General

Warnings: Fluff, bad decisions.

Summary: You talk the boys into making a stop during your travels and you show Castiel the joys of being human.

a/n: This was written for a SPN challenge years ago.

My three categories were: Fair, snow cone, getting sunburnt.

This is unbeta'd, please forgive any mistakes. This is also my first time writing Castiel, so forgive me if it’s a little... off.

Formally posted on the account @plaided-ani

When you asked the boy to make a pit stop, the last thing they expected was to end up pulling into a fairgrounds parking lot. The world was ending, again, you had demons and angels and everything in between after the four of you, but damned if it didn’t seem like a good idea. “Dude,” Dean reasoned with his brother, slapping him on his arm, “fair food.”

“Yes,” you chirped, popping your head between them from the backseat. You wrapped your hands around Sam’s shoulders, fingers digging into the tense muscle and you shook him like a maraca. “Yes!”

“What’s the significance of fair food,” Castiel inquired beside you, curious eyes watching Sam’s head snap to and fro from your jarring.

You rounded on him immediately, releasing Sam before you slid into the former angel’s personal space, slinging your arm around his shoulders. “Castiel,” your voice was quiet, intimate, “fair food is the most delicious nourishment that humans have to offer.” You reached up and ran a hand down his cheek and forced him to look you in the eye, “And all of it’s fried.”

He stared at you unblinkingly, puffy lips slightly parted in confusion. You were a hair’s length apart, close enough to be sharing the same lungs, and he nodded once causing his nose brush against yours.

“If you two are done making out,” Dean cleared his throat, arm perched over the back of his seat to glare at you. “I want a corndog.”

You immediately released Cas and then turned to scramble out of the car. You joined up with Dean, hooking your arm around his and the pair of you charged the fair’s main gate, Sam and Castiel trailing behind you.

The sun was out in full force and what little clouds floating in the sky provided no comfort from it’s heated rays. You turned your head up, eyes closed to bask in the warm as you four waited in line for the first vendor that Dean deemed acceptable.

“Fried butter,” Castiel droned behind you, “that doesn’t sound very healthy.”

“It doesn’t have to be healthy, Cas,” Dean replied, pulling you forward as the queue moved, “it’s fair food.”

Sam huffed in annoyance and shook his head, “That’s not an excuse to clog your arteries.”

“Yes, it is,” you and Dean replied simultaneously.

You righted your head and turned to glare up at the youngest Winchester, but you caught sight of Castiel clutching at his chest, his fingers clenching around the soft white shirt that Dean leant him. “Your heart’s gonna be fine, Cas,” you assure him, stumbling along as Dean pulled you forward yet again. “It takes years of eating bad crap to clog you up. If anyone is gonna die of a heart attack, it’s Dean!”

“And I would have no regrets,” came the proud sniff beside you.

“You two are idiots,” Sam sighed.

You opened your mouth to retort, but Dean yanked you one final time and you spun to order the biggest funnel cake they allotted, double sugar and strawberries on top. Dean, of course, got his three corndogs, Sam opted for cup-o-salad, but Cas was at a loss. “He’ll have a corn dog and fries,” you decided.

Dean stayed back to wait for the order and Sam lead the way to find a semi-clean table nearby. “I’ll admit, Y/N,” Cas confided in you, eyes darting to Sam’s back cautiously, “that this fair food does smell delicious.”

“Oh, Cas,” you cooed, once again slinging your arm around his arm and placed your head on his shoulder, “you’re in for a treat.” You take one side with Castiel, Sam opting to sit across from you. The sounds of the crowd washed over you as you baked in the afternoon sun, the shrills from fast rides and rigged games were the soundtrack of your best idea yet.

“Alright, heart attacks on a plate,” Dean cackled gleefully as he sat the tray down in the middle. He passed Castiel his basket and you snatched up your funnel cake with a loud smack of your lips. “You’re gonna give me some of that, Y/N, right?”

Your face twisted in aggression, your body curling around your plate as you claimed your territory. “Absolutely not,” you snarled. Cas shifted uneasily beside you which snapped you out of your daze, “But you can have some, Castiel.” Blue eyes met yours and his brow pinched with uncertainty.

“Oh, so you’ll give some to Cas and not me,” Dean growled, corndog shoved in his mouth and mustard dribbled down his chin.

“Yes,” you answered simply, cutting of a nice, big piece coated with the most sugar and biggest strawberry and held it up for Castiel to eat. The former angel frowned at you and looked to Dean before opening his mouth wide to let you choo-choo it in.

He chewed it slowly, considering its taste. Sugar outlined his mouth and a drip of syrup rested in the very center of his bottom lip. Without thinking, you swiped you thumb across it, shoving it into your mouth to lick off the excess. His eyes went wide, watching the finger disappear between your own sugared lips. “This is very good,” he said hoarsely when he finally managed to swallow.

You wiggled your eyebrows in victory and pointed to his meal, “Clog those arteries, Cas.”

The rest of the afternoon was spent queuing in lines, you and Dean hogging the cotton candy. You did share a bit with Castiel for educational purposes, but most of it was shoved shamelessly into your mouth.

“You two are going to throw up,” Sam grimaced as you headed closer to the Tilt-a-Whirl.

“That’s the fun of fairs,” you replied cheerfully, nudging Cas to make a mental note of it. “You stuff yourself full of bad food and then you get on all the rides so you can throw it up later!”

Cas shook his head, “That doesn’t sound like fun at all.”

“It is,” Dean winked, “you’ll love it.” Sam contradicted his brother with a silent shake of his head, but you were all ushered into your seats before the older brother could argue. And when the ride was over, you were hugging your stomach, looking a little paler and Dean shuffled slowly beside you.

“I told y-” Sam started but heated glares from the both of you had him holding his hands up and laughing.

Despite your aching stomachs, you and Dean drag the other two on the Teacups, the Falling Tower, even in the Haunted House. It was the Tunnel of Love that caught your eye, though, and not because you had anything romantic in mind, but it was a slow, easy ride that hid you from the harsh afternoon sun.

The boys fought over who would actually sit with you because it was the Tunnel of Love, after all, and you can’t go in with your brother without people raising eyebrows and they sure as hell didn’t want to ‘fall in love with Cas’. “You’re all idiots,” you exclaimed and pulled Cas into the small swan shaped boat.

“This ride doesn’t actually make humans fall in love, does it,” he asked you hesitantly.

You leaned back against the hard wooden frame, head tilted back as the tunnel’s cool air breezed over your sun kissed skin, “No, Cas. It’s an excuse for teenagers to make out in, though. Or older people to make out like teenagers.” There’s a deep rumble of thoughtfulness next you and you can feel Cas’s eyes on you. “You wanna make out with me,” you asked with one eye cracked open.

“I don’t know,” he answered. “That means kissing, right?”

“Yes,” you snorted.

His brow wrinkled and he nodded, “Yes.”

“Yes,” you repeated, surprised. You sat up and tilted your head, a smile split your face in two.

“Yes,” Cas said for the second time, “I’ve thought about kissing you before. I’ve watched you with the men that you’ve taken home from bars and…”

You held up a hand and blinked, “What do you mean you’ve watched me?”

“I was afraid that they might hurt you, so I kept watch,” Castiel explained, noting your sudden discomfort of the conversation. “I stopped watching when you… you know.”

“I am so glad you’re human now,” you groaned, bringing up your legs in the open bench seat and hid your face away. You felt a hand atop your knee and a gentle squeeze in timid comfort. “If you ever get your grace back, dude, please don’t ever watch me again,” you pleaded once you lifted your head.

Cas nodded, those deep blue eyes full of regret and understanding, “I promise.”

The ride finished without a makeout session, but you had forgiven Cas by the time you caught up with Sam and Dean. The sun was getting low and the fair’s lights slowly started to flicker on, the Ferris Wheel drawing everyone’s attention. “Last ride,” Sam warned you, so you tugged them along, waiting in the longest queue of the day.

“Snow Cones,” Dean whispered, pushing at your shoulder. “Wait here,” he instructed his brother and friend before dragging you over to the stand. While the ice did sound like a good idea in the warm summer evening, more sugar was going to make your veins explode.

“I dunno, Dean,” you patted your belly, “I don’t know if I can fit anymore.”

“Don’t be a wuss,” he egged you on and shoved you up to the counter. You order a small one, rainbow all the way and kicked Dean in the shin when you got your purchase and ran off to the safety of your friends.

“More sugar,” you told Cas, holding up the shaved ice settled in a paper cup. “Sweets for a sweetie,” you offer it to him, “just bite.” He looked from you to the colored ball of frost and scraped his teeth along to gather some with an approving hum. Dean soon joined you, tagging you on the back of your head when he returned and nearly had you spilling your treat. “Watch it!”

Cas frowned in disapproval at Dean, but the oldest Winchester smirked smugly and bite down hard on his snow. “For as much sugar as you consume, Dean, you can be sour,” he reprimanded, patting your shoulder and taking yet another bite of your snow cone.

“Are you really white knighting, Y/N, right now,” Dean snorted, the tip of his nose dyed blue from his flavoring.

“If that means I’m defending her, then yes,” Cas replied, his eyes, like yours and Sam’s, trained on the small spot of blue. “Dean,” he started, but you wrap a hand around his wrist and squeeze. How the three of you are holding a straight face, you’ll never know.

“What,” came the gruff reply accompanied by a frown.

“Nothing,” Cas replied casually, tearing his eyes away from his friend and back to you and the Snow Cone. You return the stare, both of you leaning in to take a bite and you tried not to choke on the flavored ice.

“What,” Dean asked pressingly.

“Line’s moved up,” Sam answered, pulling his brother along.

Dean eyed you all suspiciously, but he moved along with everyone else, digging back into his ice and coming out with an even bigger spot of blue. Sam’s jaw is clenched so hard you could hear his teeth starting to crack and you’re sure you’ve snorted some of your ice in an attempt to stop your laughter. But Castiel? He was standing there, smiling at the three of you, suddenly understanding what the significance of fair food was.

“Dammit,” Dean groaned the next day, waddling in from the bathroom, “Y/N!” Castiel looked up from the newspaper and tilted his head, his eyes shifting from Dean to you splayed out of the bed in nothing more than a thin cami and cotton shorts, looking just as uncomfortable as Dean with your cherry red skin.

“Shut up,” you spat, not able to move from your bed. It wasn’t fair, not really. All four of you were out in the sun all day and only you and Dean managed to get burned, even through all of your layers. “Your voice makes my skin hurt.”

“Your face makes my skin hurt,” Dan shot back, slowly climbing onto the bed next to you. The pair of you weakly slapped at each other from your prone positions and you felt the bed dip behind you.

“Sam said this might happen,” Castiel stated as he flipped open a cap of aloe. “He said I would need to rub this into your skin.”

Dean jerked his head up and immediately winced from the pain, “You’re not rubbing anything on me.”

“Shut up and enjoy it, jerk,” you hissed and twisted your head as much as you could to look at Castiel. “Rub it all over me, Cas, as deep as you can.”

The former angel flushed as bright as the pair of you, but set to work.

#castiel x reader #castiel x you #castiel x y/n #human!castiel #formally posted on @plaided-ani

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katsidhe · 4 years ago

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could you do 9.10 and 9.13 for episode reviews.

Love your takes btw.

9.10 Final Thoughts

well, well, well, if it isn’t my old friend season 9. God I love season 9. buckle in.

Plenty of what season 9 tries to do with angel drama falls flat, but plenty of it doesn’t. It’s at its strongest when interrogating the ways that the angels are looking for personal purpose, rather than folding themselves into various suit-clad factions. In this episode, we have Gadreel, Abner, and Thaddeus, all with very different takes.

Thaddeus is the most boring of the three—a straightforward narcissist and sadist. (Lucifer will follow in his rockstar-impersonating footsteps in s12. SPN clearly has a dim view of the music industry.) We don’t care when he dies, and we aren’t meant to.

Abner’s found a family, and he’s let go of revenge. He’s clearly found peace and happiness—but it’s stolen. I’m ambivalent about this. I guess I could take his word that his vessel was abusive and therefore deserves to have been permanently body-snatched, and I guess I could believe him when he says his new family loves him, even though they clearly don’t know what he is or what he’s done. His regard for humanity as something other than a project is… uncertain. Even if everything is as sunny as he explains to Gadreel, there is fundamental selfishness and short-sightedness here. Get what you want, Abner says, and never let go.

Gadreel asks Abner if his vessel is happy. This reveals both Abner’s scorn for his vessel, and Gadreel’s uncomfortable awareness of and respect for Sam (and his bartender vessel, who Gadreel stares at, and who accepts Gadreel back easily).

Gadreel! OF COURSE Gadreel’s gotta be the scapegoat for Lucifer’s release, HAHAHAH. I love him to pieces, oml. Seriously, the Sam parallels could not BE more blatant. I’ve talked about this before, that it makes the earned antipathy between them all the more alarming, all the more visceral. The big sticking point is that Gadreel’s years of pointless torture came prior to his “redemption” arc, rather than as a consequence of it. Gadreel has all of s5 Sam’s despair and helpless anger and self-loathing, all of his drive to set things right at any price, and all of it is amplified by his trauma.

Sam and Gadreel’s relationship is defined by its liminal spaces. Gadreel threatens to tear Sam apart, but he does not, even when he is tortured. He locks Sam away in a dream rather than force him to watch him kill, or to suffer. But when Sam forces Gadreel out, Gadreel leaps instantly on telling Sam he is weak, reciting back Sam’s fears and Gadreel’s own. This reads like Gadreel is aiming quite a lot of his own self-pity and self-hatred at Sam.

Cas’s murderous rage at Gadreel when his identity is revealed is fun. It shows that Heaven’s PR team did a good job, for one thing. But Cas is furious because it’s specifically Lucifer. And the Apocalypse, and all the attendant suffering, his and Dean’s and Sam’s. It’s a personal wrath.

“Stupid for the right reasons…” oh, Cas, your scarcity of positive human role models is showing. Also, Cas’s particular brand of reassurance here isn’t actually something Dean has a problem with. He expresses regret over having been tricked—he says he’s stupid, he says he got played—but he’s never in doubt that his intentions were good. He’s never in doubt that he did the righteous thing. He’s never in doubt that he’d do it again.

Dean apologizes to Cas for barring him from the bunker. (Sam will not receive an apology.) Cas compares what Dean did to Sam to what Cas did by trusting Naomi. There’s a key difference here. Cas’s moral compass is not the problem; it’s his critical thinking skills.

Crowley, Cas, and Dean are a hilarious trio. (Also, I really hope that Cas’s pimpmobile got to Heaven too, like the Impala.)

Crowley being genuinely sorry that Kevin’s gone and his willingness to risk his life to help Sam are the best two moments of the generally weak Crowley-has-human-blood plot line. They feel earned. [also Crowley’s ‘I told Kevin he should’ve run!’ is both accurate, funny, and sad.]

Let’s talk 4.21 parallels! I mean, first, the glaringly obvious: Sam locked down to be purged of something supernatural; Sam suffering; Dean unable to bear Sam’s tortured screams; a very atmospheric fan. Dean walking away.

and then, of course, there’s “at least he dies human.” Right off the bat, Dean tells Cas he’s going to kill Gadreel. Cas, concerned, says that this will kill Sam too; Dean, sounding tortured, says he knows. Now, obviously, Dean doesn’t kill Sam. He doesn’t even get particularly close. But it’s really interesting that this is the first thing Dean brings up! He declares unprompted that he’s ready to kill Sam rather than leave him possessed. Which is both a recapitulation of the save-him-or-kill-him mantra, and an ironic twist on the decision Dean made in 9.01. Then, Dean knew Sam would rather die than be possessed, but had him possessed anyway. Now, Dean has decided instead that Sam must die because he is possessed. Obviously Dean’s opinion on the possessing entity has changed in the meantime: Sam’s hasn’t, but Sam’s isn’t what matters.

Dean reaches new levels of PEAK IRONY when he declares that Cas should possess Sam too. Cas has to actually point out that Dean can’t, in fact, volunteer Sam’s permission. Because apparently Dean had forgotten, lmaooo. Crowley, on the other hand, is happy to oblige. Dean directs Cas to burn Sam’s tattoo off.

The language of this entire scene is so sexual. I mean, it’s Crowley, of course it is, double entendre is his first language. But this theme recurs again and again. Here it is just more pointed than usual. It is queasy.

Gadreel has Sam trapped in a Dean-type happy place—a hunt with ghouls and cheerleaders, no organic produce to be found. And I don’t think it’s because Gadreel doesn’t understand what Sam likes. I think it’s because Gadreel’s aim was for Sam to feel comfortable, not blissful. It smacks of Hallucifer, just a bit—using the verisimilitude of Dean’s louder moods rather than trying to appeal directly to Sam’s contentment, because of his always questionable, always a question, sense of reality. If things were too smooth, too cheerful, Sam might just be suspicious. Sam is easier to trick by proxy.

The HORROR of this episode for Sam: Gadreel washing someone’s blood off of Sam’s hands. Crowley pushing needles into his brain. Sam’s body and life as a bargaining chip as Gadreel threatens to kill him, and then as Dean threatens to kill him right back. The quiet heartbreak as Sam remembers Kevin’s death, as he realizes the magnitude of Dean’s betrayal. But the worst part of it, I think, is somehow still Sam’s face when Crowley comes to get him in the dream where Gadreel stashed him. How his expression just crumples as Crowley tells him he is trapped in a lie, that his mindscape is once again a prison, that he truly cannot trust his reality. The sheer devastation of this on top of Sam’s history, plus the knowledge that Dean did this—and he pulls himself together and puts his foot on Gadreel’s neck and casts him OUT anyway. Sam Fucking Winchester.

and then the Bridge Scene. The lighting, the staging… it’s fucking gorgeous. It’s one of those scenes where I knew as I was watching it for the first time, seven years ago, that it was going to be something. I held my breath and still hold my breath. I can’t take my eyes off the way that Sam is shaking slightly, the entire time. The way he can barely meet Dean’s eyes but he does it anyway. He SAYS HIS PIECE, says it clearly, says it with an even tone despite what he’s gone through, despite the holes in his head that were healed seconds ago.

I love the gentleness between Sam and Cas here. I love knowing that 9.11 follows this. I love that there is no question that Cas will leave with Dean—he is staying with Sam, to heal and support him, even after he spent this episode mostly reassuring Dean.

Dean does not start this conversation to apologize. He starts out with the intent to DELIBERATELY egg Sam on: “come on, let’s hear it.” It’s an incitement, because Dean wants Sam to act angry, so that Dean can feel more justified in leaving. Sam does not rise to the bait.

Dean has an excuse for every point Sam has: I had no choice, you were dying, it’s not in me, he saved your life. He says, “I did a bad thing with bad consequences and I would 100% do it again, anyway, bye.”

And then the most infuriating thing: Dean is in the wrong, so he tells the person he’s wronged, ugh, I’m just such an awful poisonous person, I’m going to burn for this. It’s so clearly wrong-headed. Intentional or not, it’s such an obvious invitation for Sam to comfort him that it might well have been embossed. If this were in e.g. season 15, or if the crime he’d committed had been less awful, I can easily hear Sam’s reassurance: no, Dean, I promise you’re a good person, we all make mistakes. It is the most toxic way possible to frame a potential apology.

The textual theme of Dean-as-poison (and, for that matter, the consequence of Kevin’s death vs. the initial crime of the possession) is an intentional muddying of the waters: Crowley, Cas, and Dean himself all bring it up in some fashion, linking some fundamental aspect of Dean himself rather than Dean’s choices to Kevin’s death. Crowley is trying to be cutting; Cas is trying to be supportive; Dean is both excusing himself and camouflaging that fact in his exhausting self-loathing. There is a complicated interplay of what the text says about Dean’s guilt and what it condemns; this pattern continues throughout s9, and reaches its apex in the next several episodes. Dean’s love as a condemning feature rather than a redeeming one is one of my favorite things about SPN, and s9 has it in HIGH gear.

But, here, at least, Sam doesn’t rise to this bait either. “Don’t go thinking that’s the problem, ‘cause it’s not.” The problem is obviously, achingly, exhaustingly clear. Sam’s spelled it out in this very conversation: you tricked me. You lied to me. You got me possessed when I was willing to die. But Dean, and a fair portion of the audience, can’t hear it. So he doesn’t. And they don’t, and they pretend that this line is some sort of puzzle! a cliffhanger on a conversation unfinished! when it was the conclusion, not the beginning.

image that is now inextricable from 9.10

#9.10 #final thoughts #I have even more to say tbh #sam and cas #sam and dean #dean and cas #sam and gadreel #sam and crowley #sam and possession #sam and abuse #dean and self-hatred #sam and forgiveness #sam and mindscapes #sam and trauma #blahdose

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spn-headcanons-daily · 4 years ago

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Hello people of the crazy spn fandom, how are we doing? (not well)

Wanna read some headcanons?

Since the finale, which brought me a new flavour of disappointment, I started to create a list of made up facts/headcanons (don't know how to call it better) of what should in my opinion happen to characters instead. Points about Dean and Cas from this list are slowly turning into my first actual fanfic, but points about Sam and Eileen are more difficult to write into a short story, so for now they are just staying as facts in a list. And I decided to post them here.

Will anyone ever read it? - Probably not.

Will that logical fact stop me? - Definitely not.

I'm going to post these ideas in order, one in each post. They can't count as actual fanfics, but they are long

Side note: I do not accept 15×20 as canon. Nope. It doesn't exist. I chose to completely ignore it, and by now I successfully erased it from my memory. Except for the part that in a few years Sam has a son named Dean (actually not really, but I'm going to call him that for simpler understanding, if you read it you will later find out why). And also Miracle the dog stays, he is a good boy and deserves the best.

I also should mention that in my imaginary world they saved Cas. And I have an idea how, and I think it's a good idea, but that's for another time, 'cause for that part I'm actually writing a fic (and it's becoming longer and longer, I don't know how to stop, it's out of control, please send help)

So they all know now that Cas is alive and he is okay.

Also you should keep in mind that English is my second language which I didn't study properly like a normal person but instead learned purely by watching tv shows, so feel free to kick my ass for any mistakes, there's probably a lot here.

If you read this shit below and liked it at least a little bit, please live something in the notes to make me feel less lonely and useless. Thanks :з

So, too much words, huh? Here is the first headcanon idea:

SAM WRITES A BOOK

After their big victory brothers still hunt monsters, of course, but now, when they are finally not constantly forced to save the whole world, their days are far less busy. They even have free time. And Sam makes a decision to do something useful with it.

Sam pulls together all his previous research, goes through hundreds of books from the library, adds other sources, and he writes and publishes a book. A really long book. It takes him almost a year from the first idea to the completion of it. This book is sort of a database, a full encyclopedia of all supernatural things that the Winchesters and the other hunters they know encountered over the years, with an accurate description of how those things look, what they do, what they want, where you can find them. And, of course, how to stop them, kill them, or protect yourself from them. The content is quite impressive, Sam put all his time and soul into it, checking and double-checking all information, comparing sources and trying to grasp the essence of each part of the lore and put it on the pages as short and simple as possible.

The book is called "The hunter's manual". Eileen insisted on that title - both Sam and Dean (who didn't help that much but nevertheless felt invested) right until the publishing kept offering something different. Sam wanted a long and self-explanatory name for his beloved creation, Dean wished for something more "pretentious and catchy".

It was supposed to be just a wiki-style website at first, but halfway through work Sam got excited about creating an actual book, so through some acquaintances they found a publisher, who knew about monsters and other stuff after his encounter with some vampires and another hunter, and agreed to publish a book in exchange for a right to sell its copies.

Eileen fully supported the idea of the book, but after a few weeks she gets quite annoyed by the fact that sometimes she literally can't pull Sam away from the book writing process. Dean jokes that his brother got married to book before he married Eileen, which somehow leads to a long serious conversation about marriage and love and life in general. But actually Eileen understands the importance of Sam's book for him way more than Dean, who thinks about it only from the practical point of view.

Sometimes Eileen is also worried for Sam, because he spends too much personal resources on his project, and she is the one who reminds him when he forgets to eat in time or not sleeping enough, and makes him remember to take care of himself. Eventually she becomes quite invested in the process, and she helps Sam with a lot of research and gaining information from other hunters across the country. She gets an honourable mention in the book's authors' information page, under a fake name, of course, but it still counts for them.

In a few years Sam's book becomes a handbook for almost every hunter in the US, and it even gets translated into a few other languages, because turns out it considerably eases your life to have one source for all basic material for the hunts, instead of going through the whole libraries of controversial information.

A few people got their book signed by Sam and Dean: the Winchesters at this point became sort of legendary figures in hunters' world. Dean complains that this is not the way he planned to become famous. Sam objects that his brother has no right to sign the book and therefore shouldn't be complaining when he lets him be part of his fame.

The hunters now often give a link to a digital version of the book to all ordinary people who had to face something supernatural and now know that it's all real - because if they are already aware of the nightmares of this world, this book's instructions will help them to be safer in the future. This digital version is also heavily redacted, to contain only information for protection: no summoning rituals, for example, as well as no any other things and information that could potentially hurt anybody. This version was created after some dumb teenagers, who encountered a ghost before, got their hands on an unedited book and decided that summoning a demon could be a good idea for a party entertainment. It definitely wasn't.

Ironically, some time later this book accidentally becomes fairly popular among the general public, as a book in the fantasy genre, and now passionate fans of the "supernatural" books in the long internet discussions are accusing mysterious author of "The hunter's manual" of ripping off their favourite series. Sam finds it amusing and sometimes when he is bored anonymously goes into some forums to argue with fans.

#supernatural #spn #spn fic #spn fandom #sam winchester #eileen supernatural #saileen #sam deserves better #spn fanfiction #spn headcanon

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vintageneptune92 · 5 years ago

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More Than I Can Say

More Than I Can Say- Dean Winchester x Reader

So here is the finished copy. I didn’t proof the rest of it so please ignore any mistakes. I mean...I wanted to include more...but I kind of got stuck and I didn’t want it to take me longer to post. It’s little snippets of events. Soooo if you’d like a Part 2 let me know!

As always your likes, reblogs, comments etc. are all appreciated. Please let me know if you would like to be added to any of my tag lists. As always- Requests are open!

a request for @chevyimpala00067 with Dean Winchester. Prompts: 57: “ Is that my shirt? ” & 66: “ Is that a new perfume? ”

SPN Tag List: @deans-baby-momma @fandom-princess-forevermore @magssteenkamp @blancastans @jn-wolf @waywardsistersandpie

SPN Masterlist

Falling in love with Dean Winchester hadn’t been easy or simple. It hadn’t been expected. You were living your life as a college student with your mother at one moment and the next you were in Sioux Falls with your estranged father. And you didn’t have the best start to your father-daughter relationship.

You had been the result of a fling your father had with your mother after Bobby’s wife died. Your mother had kept you a secret for most of your life. You had begged her to tell her who your father was. She continually told you that it was a tree you didn’t want to bark up.

When you were 20 years old and half way through your degree, your mother died of cancer. It had devastating effects. 2 days after her funeral you received a package in the mail. It contained a letter from your mother telling you about your father and it included some letters and a few pictures of the two of them. You thought it was a joke. Your mother had been a hunter and worked with Bobby Singer. When she found out she was pregnant she cut ties and disappeared determined that you wouldn’t grow up like that. “It’s the greatest regret of my life that you don’t know your father. He’s a good man.”

You sold the house and everything you could besides a few pieces of jewelry and a handful of keepsakes from your mother, packed up your Jeep and drove from upstate New York to Sioux Falls.

He slammed the door in your face. I mean you couldn’t blame him. Some random shows up claiming to be his daughter. Little did you know at the time, he thought you were a demon of Crowley’s trying to get one up on him and the Winchester boys. You steeled yourself as you stared at the door in your face. You put one of the photos and one of his letters in an envelope, taped it to the door with your cell number and the hotel you were staying at written on it and left to find a place to stay. You needed to figure out your next move. How stupid you had been to think that your long lost father would welcome you with open arms. How naive to think you could have started a new life with him. Now you had to figure out what to do and where to go.

“Hey Bobby- this was stuck to your door.” Dean Winchester looked at the neat handwriting with intrigue. Bobby yanked it from his hand mumbling about con artists and demons but tore into the manila envelope anyway. Sam and Dean watched as the color drained from his face. His hand ran from his forehead down to his chin.

“Bobby- are you okay?” Sam stepped towards him, face laced with concern.

“She was telling the truth…I have a daughter.”

“I’m sorry- what?!” Dean stood wide eyed and slack jawed.

“She was here. I was horrible to her and slammed the door in her face. I thought it was Crowley playing his games. I didn’t believe her.” Dean grabbed the envelope.

“Well looks like she’s willing to give you a second chance at a first meeting. I’ll be back. Sammy help Bobby get his wits about him. I’ll go get her and bring her back here.”

“What if she won’t come?” Bobby looked heart broken and self-loathing all at the same time. Dean grinned at him.

“Who can say no to this face?”

* * * * * * * * * * * * You sat at the table in your hotel room staring at nothing in particular at all trying to decide where to go and what to do next when there was a pounding at your door. You tentatively turned the door handle and yanked it open. You were expecting the cranky old man, but instead were met with a cocky grin and smiling green eyes.

“Sweetheart, you need to learn how to drop a truth bomb.”

“Excuse you? Wait who are you?” Annoyance was dripping from your voice, but sadness was written all over your face.

“I’m Dean. Here to fetch you for your Daddy who is kicking himself for being an asshat. You must have gotten your looks from your mother. Lucky you.” You scoffed.

“Fetch me? I’m not going anywhere with you. I don’t even know you!”

“I’m a good friend of Bobby Singer. A surrogate son- luckily not blood related.” He gave you what you would begin to call the Dean Winchester Wink. As you rolled your eyes, Dean would never need a blood test to prove you were Bobby’s daughter. He saw it in your attitude.

“You must go after some low hanging fruit with those lines. Clearly being good looking makes it so you don’t have to try very hard.” He grinned at you, the cheesiest grin you’d seen in a long time.

“You think I’m good looking sweetheart?”

“Not enough to excuse all of this.” You waved your hand in his general direction. He threw his head back and laughed.

“There’s something to be said for nature vs. nurture. You may have never spent a day with Bobby but damn do you have his attitude. Listen, he found your envelope and feels like crap. Come back. Give him a second chance.” You hesitated for a moment. “C’mon sweetheart. I promise if you want to leave I’ll bring you back anytime you want.

“Let me grab my stuff.” You turned to get your purse and jacket, paused and turned back to him. “Stop calling me sweetheart.” He wiggled his eyebrows at you and you shut the hotel room door behind you. You felt his hand find the small of your back to lead you down the hall. You didn’t know it then, but that would feel like home a few years down the road.

Dean pulled into the salvage yard and turned off the Impala. You were impressed with the car but you’d be damned if you’d let him know that. He was about to get out when he saw you staring ahead and not moving. He got out, came around to the passenger side and opened your door and squat down next to you.

“Look- I don’t know your story, I don’t know your mother or why she kept you and Bobby apart. What I do know is Bobby is one of the best men that I have ever known. He’s been more of a father to me than mine own father was sometimes. I’m sure his initial reaction scared you off. But you left him your contact info for a reason. He’s good people. I promise you- you decide you want out of here and I’ll take you anywhere you want to go. Give him a chance.” He put his hand out to help you out of the car. You studied his face for a moment, while he was smug and obnoxious when he showed up at your door, he was nothing but sincere now. It was your first glimpse into the real Dean Winchester. You were comforted by the sincerity coming from his expression. The way his eyes crinkled when you smiled would end up being one of your favorite things in the world to see. You nodded and placed your hand in his and let him lead you to your future.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

You surprisingly took the truth about the supernatural well. While the story of Dean going to hell and the Angel Castiel gave you pause, you knew it deep down to be true. Maybe it was because your mother had told you in her letter first. Truth be told you thought she had lost her mind to the chemo, but then you started getting hit with memories from your past, or well her past. While she had given up the hunting life, you remembered her conversations with other hunters who would stop by for advice or to rest- including John Winchester.

Bobby had been livid when you told him you had met John. There was no way John hadn’t known you were his. If John Winchester hadn’t already been dead, you were sure your father would have done him in. Now 6 months later you were in deep. He was already in a mood and you had just made it worse.

“You are NOT going on the road with Sam and Dean.”

“Yes, I am. I can’t sit around this place doing research telling them how to kill monsters when I can actually do it.

“Listen- if Bobby doesn’t want you to go, sorry sweetheart but you’re staying here.” You were seething.

“You know what, fine. I’ll go out on my own. I can find cases.” You stormed past Dean and gut punched him. “And I told you not to call me sweetheart”. Sam stood watching like a deer in headlights not wanting to say anything and piss you or Bobby off even more. He decided to stay put instead of following you out to your car. A few minutes later her heard you scream.

You were going to murder Dean Winchester. He must have anticipated your going on your own declaration because he had messed with your Jeep. The oil was leaking and when you hadgotten down on the ground to check it out you had gotten covered in oil.

You came charging back into the house and Sam had bitten back his laughter. He didn’t want any of your wrath pointed at him. Dean would eventually pay for his sins. Sam wanted to make sure all of your anger was directed accordingly.

“Sweetheart-“ Dean made sure to put emphasis on the unwelcomed pet name.

“Is that new perfume? Eau De Grand Cherokee?” He belly laughed. Sam was sure he saw homicide in your eyes, and then he caught the glint. You snatched the Impala keys off of the counter and ran out of the house.

“Y/N DON’T YOU TOUCH MY BABY!” Dean roared after you. Bobby’s anger had dissipated.

“I supposed I should get used to the idea of the two of them.” Sam raised his eyebrows at Bobby. “C’mon Sam- don’t tell me you don’t see it. Those two are falling head over heels for each other.”

“You’d be okay with that? Dean and Y/N?” Sam was surprised. Bobby wore the “Over protective father” outfit well.

“Sam- your brother is a good man. I couldn’t ask for someone better to take care of her. I’ve seen how he takes care of people he loves. I’ve watched him take care of you. The two of you are the best men I know. She’ll be in good hands. They just have to get out of their own way to see it.”

“You know if she goes out with us, we’ll die before we let something happen to her.” Bobby nodded.

“I know. I just want to keep her safe here. But hell, It ain’t safe here either. The only way she would be safe is if she never found me.” Sam was about to respond but covered his mouth as he laughed as he watched Dean, also covered in car oil carrying you across the yard over his shoulder.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

A milk run. A freaking milk run he had told you. A simple salt and burn. A great way for he and Sam to show you the ropes.

This was not a milk run. The person they thought was doing the haunting, the bones they salted and burned, was the person trying to protect innocents from the spirits haunting the house. The brother of two evil twin sisters and they couldn’t find their bodies. They had somehow separated you from him and Sam. Why couldn’t things just go their way for once?

Dean was trying to get the door to the room that you were locked in open. The creepy sisters had some murder ritual that they were holding you for. Sam was searching for the bones to salt and burn.

“DEAN!!” You screamed his name, he could hear the fear and tears in your voice. You weren’t a crier and you were one of the bravest people he knew, you didn’t scare easy.

“Hang on Y/N. It’ll be okay.”

“I’m out of salt rounds and there’s no God Damn iron in this room.

“Sammy is gonna find the bodies and I’ll get this damn door open.” Your voice was closer, you must have move towards the door.

“You can’t open the door. They shut it. It’s not a lock you can pick. Tell my dad I’m glad I got to know him. Even if we only had a little time together.”

“Don’t you start that goodbye shit. This isn’t over!” He yelled the last part.

“Yes it is.” He felt the coldness from the room on the outside of the door. You must have been freezing.

“Bring it bitches.” Your voice was fearless. You’d only broke when you knew it was just the two of you. He was beating down the door, renewed strength. He felt encouraged when it started to splinter. Moments later he froze in fear when he heard screaming. At first he thought it was you but then the door popped open. There you stood with a container of salt in your hands. You must have been throwing it at the sisters. Dean saw the faint remains of flames and ashes.

“Sammy found the bones” You cried and dropped the salt. Dean ran forward and slipped his arms around you, pulling you tight to his body, one hand cradling the back of your head. Another feeling you’d come to associate with love, safety and security.

“It’s okay sweetheart. It’s over. I’m so sorry.” Sam watched from a distance with a smile on his face. He was thrilled you were safe and that he had stopped the terror twins. Dean was different with you around. Good different. Your body relaxed in Dean’s arms.

“Can we not tell my dad how bad it was” Dean laughed and hugged you tighter.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

“You knew Sam was alive?!” Dean raged.

“I wanted to tell you. I didn’t find out until recently. My dad kept it from me too. I called you as soon as I found out. I left you a message but by the time you called me back Sam had gotten to me. He said he wasn’t ready. He said you were happy. I wanted to call you and tell you so many times. I’m sorry.” You wiped a few tears from your eyes. “They said you were happy Dean. Really happy. I couldn’t be the one to ruin that. You, more than anyone, deserve real happiness. And honestly, it wasn’t my place to tell you. It was Sam’s. He came back and didn’t want to tell you. I couldn’t do that to him. I was screwed no matter what I did.

Despite his rage, he couldn’t stay mad at you. And you weren’t wrong. He sighed and looked at you. "It's okay Y/N. It's not fair for either one of us to put you in that position" It was a terrible position for you to be in. He pulled you in for a hug. His hand found the back of your head. He loved Lisa, he truly did. But you, you felt like home. He didn’t know what the hell to do.

"You're not mad at me?" Your voice was almost a whisper.

"You're right. You were screwed either way. You did the right thing by staying out of it. I'm sorry for yelling at you." To be honest, you were pretty shocked. You expected Dean to rage at you at least a little bit longer.

"I'm glad you're here now. I"m sorry that Lisa and Ben were put in harms way, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss you."

"I missed you too, Y/N. You could have come to see me, you know."

"I didn't think you wanted to be a part of this life any more and I didn't want to take the chance of anything following me to your family." You looked away from Dean, trying to hide the hurt expression on your face after calling Lisa and Ben his family.

Sam had hinted to Dean that he wanted him to go off an live a normal life with Y/N. Dean knew that if they stayed together, they'd never give up the life. So to honor Sammy, he had let and went off to Lisa and did everything he could to get Y/N out of his mind. Now his heart belonged in two places, but he had to honor what he had with Lisa.

"You will always be my family too Y/N. Always." Dean wanted to say more, but you had just given him a quick nod of your head and rushed off into the other room.

The idea of Dean with anyone hurt. The two of you flirted relentlessly and always got jealous when the other had the nerve to talk to someone else at a bar after a hunt. This was a hard pill to swallow. You hadn't expected Dean to walk away. You had thought you were in it together. Then he was gone. Sam was gone. Even Castiel was essentially gone. You had your father and the two of you continued his work, helping other hunters and occasionally went on a small case.

Then you found out Sam was back. You had been elated and then confused as to why he wasn't going to Dean. Then he told you how happy Dean was in his new life. How he had started over like you didn't exist. Like none of this had ever happened. You had accepted it and tried to move on. Now he was back, and he was still looking at you like he did before he left. You leaned against the door and pinched the bridge of your nose. You had to get it together. Dean wasn't really back, he was here to take care of his family and then he would be gone again. You would be alone, again. Dean watched you slowly disappear knowing that he made a mistake leaving you behind. His heart belonged to you, it had since the day you sassed him at that hotel and it always would.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

You should have stuck with Sam & Dean. The most recent case brought the three of you back to your old stomping grounds in Upstate NY. Sam and Dean had encouraged you to go off and see some of your old friends while they worked the case. They could handle it. You deserved some fun and you needed a break.

It had all been too much. Sam without his soul was tricky. Dean had tried to make it work with Lisa but realized quickly that he couldn't have that family and be a hunter. Dean Winchester was a hunter. The "Apple Pie Life", as he put it, would never be for him. You had known that, but hated seeing him hurting all the same. The three of you were in this weird funk and it was stressing you out. You felt like you couldn't breath and the powder keg that had become your life was ready to blow. You were eager to pretend this wasn't your life, even if it was just for a day or two.

That fun had blown up in your face. You held the phone to your ear willing him to pick up. You felt a flood of relief wash over you when he finally did.

"Dean...."Your voice came out in a cry. "I need you. Something happened." After a few reassurances that everything would be fine, you gave him directions on how to find you and the warehouse you were holed up in. You should have known that you wouldn't ever get a break. This life would haunt you until the end of your days.

Dean had Sam circling the outside of the warehouse as he went in to find you. He could smell the blood and death. He was hoping that a few days with your old friends would breath some life back into you. You had seemed like a shell of the girl he first met. You had put an effective wall between the two of you. He knew it was because he had left. The flirty banter was a thing of the past. You seemed to be operating on auto pilot. The past year had taken its toll on you. As he stepped quietly, holding his gun, he saw her. Your best friend from college laying on the floor, eyes wide open, throat ripped out and lifeless. Dean closed his eyes for a moment and felt the loss for you. He leaned over and used his palm to shut her eyes. At least now she looked like she was sleeping. He slowly moved to the back of the warehouse and that's when he saw you. Sitting against the wall, skinny jean clad knees pulled to your chest with your chin resting on them, glassy eyes and covered from head to almost toe in dried blood. He would have been worried it was yours if he didn't see the headless corpse a few feet away from you. He tried to assess the situation. A vampire must have gotten the jump on the two of you. He assumed the vamp attacked your friend first and met its unfortunate end at your hand and the blade on the floor to the right of you.

"Y/N." Dean rushed to your side. You looked at him with watery eyes. He put his hand on the side of your face, despite it being covered with dried blood. "Are you hurt?" You shook your head no and stared forward.

"She's dead."

"I know." He sighed.

"This vamp- knew who I was, knew I was Bobby's daughter. Apparently Bobby and Rufus had taken out their family. He had gotten away and tried to live his "best life" or whatever." You air quoted as you spoke. "Then he heard some demons talking, Crowley's inner circle, that Bobby had a long lost daughter. So he started looking into me. Before...Bobby didn't have anyone to lose. With a daughter, the douche bag thought he could get his revenge. He chased us and we ran into this place to try and get her someplace safe." You scoffed. "I had my back turned for two seconds and I was too late. After he killed her, he attacked me. He had me pinned to the ground. Luckily I had a knife with me."

"Did you...did you saw his head off with that tiny knife." You nodded. "While he was on top of you?" Dean took your lack of response as a yes. "Damn that's bad ass. Explains you being covered in blood." He tried to joke. You closed your eyes and a few tears fell. "Listen to me, Y/N...you did the best you could do. her death isn't your fault." You tilted your head to the side.

"It is. Because in this life we don't have the luxury of having relationships with people that aren't hunters. With people that can't defend themselves. I shouldn't have come here." You looked up and saw Sam watching the two of you.

"She's okay Sammy...go get the car." Sam nodded and ran out of the warehouse. "C'mon, let's get you out of here and get you cleaned up. Sam and I will take care of her and the vamp body." You nodded and let him pull you to your feet. Your torso was soaked in blood. It was like you had been standing under a red waterfall. He studied you for a moment. Your skinny jeans were paired with ankle boots, a black tank top and a red and black plaid shirt. "Wait...is that my shirt?" You gave him a hint of a smile and let him lead you out of the warehouse giving your friend one last longing look on your way out.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

The imagine of you screaming and falling to your knees in the hospital as Bobby flat lined would haunt Dean Winchester for the rest of his days. The 4 of you barely got away from the Leviathans. You had been frantic when Dick Roman had gotten his hands on your father, but the 4 of you had gotten out of that building. Dean and Sam were celebrating in the front seat when they heard you cry out, holding your father, begging them to get to the hospital.

There had been a glimmer of hope when Bobby had opened his eyes. His last act was trying to help the 3 of you save the world...again. His last action had been to look at you with loving eyes and squeeze your hand. Dean knew what he was saying with that. "Thank you for coming into my life." Bobby loved you more than anything. The bond the two of you had forged in a short period was strong. It wasn't fair, the two of you deserved more time together. Dean found himself blaming Cas again. If he had just listened to Dean, none of this would have happened.

But then Cas took Sam's burden, effectively giving the younger Winchester back to Dean and Y/N. You had told Cas you forgave him before he did that. You, who had lost yet another person you loved, could forgive the Angel. You understood he thought he was doing the right thing. You appreciated his regret and were thankful for the sacrifice he was making for Sam. Dean could only wish to have your empathy. His feelings were complicated. Cas was...his best friend. Like his brother. And like his brother, had betrayed him. You had shown Dean how to really forgive Sam. He was hoping he could follow your lead with Castiel.

The three of you were holed up in an abandoned house trying to hide from Dick Roman and his band of morons. Dean didn't want this for you. He wanted you safe but you wouldn't go. You were clinging to Dean and Sam, the only family that you had left. Dean was sitting against a wall, slowly stroking your hair as you slept with your head in his lap. Sam had given him a raised brow look when he walked in, but said nothing and went back to his research. This was the only way you would get any restful sleep these days, if you were with him. As long as he was with you, you slept. Otherwise you were plagued with nightmares. Dean knew too much about nightmares. He would suffer though a thousand sleepless nights making sure you had peace.

After Lisa, Dean was sure he would never let anyone close to him again. He couldn't risk anyone's safety. His life wasn't meant for love. Then Sammy had to point out that you were already in this life and in danger. He had to point out he knew how much Dean loved you. That Bobby had known. That Bobby had approved. Sam was certain that you loved Dean too. Dean was a coward though and he couldn't say anything, so Sam continued to needle him. Finally Dean agreed to tell you how he felt, but after you had time to grieve the loss of your father. Dean refused to take advantage of your fragile state. He wanted you clear headed when he told you. He had decided that if and when they got rid of Dick Roman, that's when he would tell you. He looked down when he felt you stirring.

"You okay sweetheart?" You blinked a few times as you looked up at him. "I'm with you. I'm always okay with you." He smiled down at you. "Dean...you need to try and sleep."

"I'm okay. You rest sweetheart." You had long stopped demanding he not call you by his favorite pet name. You did notice that it was now reserved for you, whereas before it was what he called just about any female.

"Dee, you need to sleep too."

"How about this, you sleep and then I'll let Sammy drive tomorrow and I'll sleep in the car."

"I don't believe you."

"I promise okay?" You pursed your lips and studied his face. "Do I ever break my promises to you?"

"No...you don't." He watched curiously as you pulled yourself up and knelt next to him. He turned to look at you and you placed a hand on his face and stroked his cheek with your thumb. "Thank you for taking such good care of me. I know loosing him was just as hard on you as it was on me."

"I'll always take care of you." he leaned his face slightly into your hand. "I promise." The two of you stayed like that for a moment and then Dean pulled you into his lap and had you settle in between his legs with your back pressed against his chest. He claimed it was to keep you warm as you slept. In reality, he just wanted to hold on to you without having to admit he was afraid that Dick Roman would take you from him too.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

“Sam where did they go? Where did HE go?”

Sam wasn’t sure what was more painful. The moment you lost your father or the moment you lost Dean. You couldn’t compare them, not really. The loss of each had been deep. You had loved them both in very different ways. All he could do was replay your heart broken voice in his head. The moment you realized Sam was packing it in you were gone. You didn’t stick around to try and convince him. You didn’t even say a real goodbye. All you left behind was one line.

“He wouldn’t stop looking. Neither can I.”

You couldn’t believe Sam was throwing in the towel. He and Dean had come back from Hell. There was no way he was just gone. He and Cas has vanished into thin air. There was only one person who could tell you where he was. Crowley.

You were a multitude of things- desperate, confused, lost, hurting and most of all angry. Or maybe it was that anger allowed you to focus. You were so disappointed in San and so pissed at him. Dean didn’t go and try to live a normal life until he tried to get Sam back first. Sam was just willing to accept that he was gone.

Not you. You had lost your mother, your father, your best friend, Cas had been lost more than once and in more than one way and now Dean. You were getting him and Cas back. Your desperation and anger made you reckless. You knew the only way to get to Crowley was to start knocking off his demons one by one. You didn’t look for cases or people to save. Your only objective was to get answers.

You had been slaughtering Crowley’s Demons for the better part of a year when the King Of Hell finally showed himself.

“Hello Poppet.” His smarmy voice made your skin crawl. “You’ve been busy.” He looked around the room at your latest kills. He had to admit he was impressed. Dean Winchester has taught you well. “Well Darling, you got my attention. How can the King help you?” He was entertained by what he saw come out of you. The hardest eye roll he’d ever seen and a acids that would give Bobby Singer a run for his money.

“You know what I want.”

“He’s dead.“

“He’s not. I would feel it if he was gone.” That intrigued him. He wanted to see how this would play out.

“He’s in Purgatory. Apparently killing Dick Roman yanked open a portal.”

“How do I get him out.” Now it was Crowley’s turn to scoff and when you didn’t relent he rolled his own eyes.

“There’s a portal in the back woods in Maine. It’s exit only darling. Purgatory doesn’t like human offerings.” He saw the sheer determination on your face. A map materialized and he handed it to you. “Be careful poppet. And stop killing my men.” And in a flash...his majesty was gone. Anyone else he would have incinerated for killing so many of his demons. She was intriguing to him. She was fierce. It was curious to Crowley that Y/N Singer, who hadn’t been a hunter for even half a decade could demolish so many of his demons. Even more curious was the fact that Sam Winchester wasn’t fighting for Dean Winchester by her side. Dean’s reaction to that, to Sam running away, was all the reason to help get the hunter back.

God you were tired. All of the fighting, hunting and scheming was taking its toll on you, but you were too close to quit now. You were trekking through the woods in Maine to find where the portal opening to Purgatory was. You had stopped to rest for a moment when you felt your phone vibrating in your pocket. Shocked shadowed your features as you saw the caller ID.”

“Sammy.” Your greeting was flat. It had been almost a year since you had last spoken.

“Guess again Sweetheart.” Your heart started pounding as his gritty voice filled your ears.

“Dean?!” His name came out as a cry. “How are you back? Where are you?”

“It’s a long story, I’d rather share in person. I’m at the cabin. I’m dying to see you. Where are you.” You laughed.

“But I was coming to rescue you.”

“Rescue me? Where are you?” He pressed again.

“Maine. I’m hiking through the woods to find the portal to purgatory to save your ass.” It was Dean’s turn to laugh.

“Oh sweetheart. I’m so glad I got out before you stepped foot in that place. Wait- how did you know?”

“Crowley finally told me. I’ve spent the last year killing every Demon I could looking for answers.I’m on my way to you now.” Dean swelled with pride. He wished he could have seen the shit storm you had kicked up for Crowley. Though he was thankful Crowley didn’t retaliate.

“I can’t wait to see you.”

There were no tests when you arrived much to Sam’s protest. Dean knew it was you. You were barely in the door before he had scooped you up in his arms. A year of nothing but killing and fighting had finally caught up with you. The walls broke and you found yourself sobbing as Dean buried his face in your neck.

”Sweetheart it’s okay. Everything is going to be okay.”

”I didn't think I would ever see you again.” Dean pulled away to look at your face.

He placed both hands on the sides of your face and wipes your tears with his thumbs.

”I will always find my way back to you.” Sam shuffled and the moment broke. He thought Dean’s anger had been unbearable, but the way you were looking at him sent a shiver down his spine. You didn’t have to say anything. Your look said it all.

I told you he was alive.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

It was one of the rare quiet moments you and the Winchesters had. It had been a roller coaster since Dean had been back. Everything with Kevin, the auction, all of the sniping between Dean and Sam and then you and Sam. Benny. You still couldn't get over the fact that Dean Winchester had befriended a vampire. Though you were grateful that he got Dean out of that place. Dean trusted him, that was good enough for you. You wished it had been good enough for Sam. It just caused more friction in an already tense atmosphere.

It was the middle of the night and you were sitting in an arm chair staring out the window, a spot you often took when you couldn't sleep, which was almost every night. Your nightmares were plagued by images of your father dead, or watching his ghost burn up, or Kevin and his mother. You had nightmares of Cas suffering in purgatory. The most frequent were of Dean and Sam dead. You were pissed as hell at Sam still, but the idea of anything happening to him tore you up inside. The idea of Dean no longer being in this world was too unbearable to even think of. You felt Dean's calloused hand slide over your shoulder. Things had been different since he had gotten back. He had been more closed off. The closeness between to two of you after your father had died was still there, but it was different. It was like he didn't want anyone to get too close now that he was back. All the killing he did in Purgatory had taken a toll on him, but the loss of Castiel had been what broke him. You knew he blamed himself, but he wouldn’t tell you what happened. Being at arms length was killing you.

"You need to sleep. You sit here like this every night." His voice came out as a husky whisper.

"I can't. I can't close my eyes and see what I see every night." You put your hand over his as he went to remove his hand from your shoulder. "Please don't pull away from me." You could feel his body stiffen for a moment and you let his hand go. He sat in the chair next to you, he leaned over with his elbows on his knees, quiet for a moment.

"I have to. That place changed me. I'm different." You leaned forward and put your hand on his cheek so he would look you in the eyes.

"You're still Dean. You're still MY Dean. I need you. Please." You watched a variety of emotions pass through his eyes.

"Y/N..." his tone was warning.

"Don't Dean. We've danced around this for years. I almost lost you." Your voice came out in a sob." He adverted his eyes.

"Don't say it. Please don't say it. I'm no good for you. You deserve better than me." He looked back into your eyes and he looked shattered.

"You are the same Dean Winchester that came and got me from my hotel room. You are the same Dean Winchester that has been protecting me since the day I met him. You're the same Dean Winchester I fell in love with." You watched his eyes widen. "I think I've loved you since the moment I opened that door. And I've been too scared to admit it."

"You can't."

"Dean...you are a GOOD man, despite any mistakes you have made. You're the best man I know. Look me in the eye and tell me you don't love me and we'll never talk about this again."

"You know I love you." He looked down.

"Then don't be a coward." His eyes snapped back up to yours. No one was ever brave enough to call Dean Winchester a coward. "We're in this life together. I'm not in any more danger if you love me or you don't. I don't want to be alone in this anymore." a tear slipped from your eyes. Dean lunged forward and kissed you. You felt every single piece of your broken heart come back together. It may be scarred, but Dean Winchester would make you whole again. You both knew the future wouldn't be easy, but you would face it together.

#dean winchester #dean winchester imagine #dean winchester imagines #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester reader insert #spn #spn imagine #spn imagines #spn reader insert #supernatural #supernatural imagine #supernatural imagines #supernatural reader insert

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thoughtfulpaperback · 4 years ago

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Since the SPN fandom is going crazy, I just want to really talk about the show for a hot second in relation, not to ships, but in ranking the seasons.

My personal opinion will always be that the best seasons of SPN were 1-6, with six being the best. The reason I love six, aside from getting so much Cas-who became my favorite character almost immediately- was that I loved that general story of what happens now that we have "free will"(which i hated that later on the writers nulled this out with God still pulling the strings, but whatever) and especially in looking at what the state of heaven and the "downfall" of a former hero (Cas).

I hated season 7 as a whole but there were memorable moments and scenes which I did love.

8-9 i liked the theme of "forgiveness" and even trauma. I mean SPN is all about trauma, but really in these two seasons they did play a lot with forgiveness (what is forgivable and where to even begin to fix your mistakes). But I feel that they continued these themes through the later seasons and it makes 10-15 feel like they have been beating this same topic excessively in almost too similar manners.

Watching 10-12 felt like a chore after a while because of what was mentioned above, but again they have some great moments and enough well crafted episodes that I do enjoy.

I just barely caught up 13-whats currently out for 15. If I am honest of these last seasons, I really only think 14 is really good. Not at the OG 1-6 level good, but the best of everything after 6. Again I think most of the themes are repetitive, but I think the writing for many of the episodes this season were reminiscent of the same magic from season 6.

But I would love to know (if anyone who follows me watches SPN or enjoyed it in the past) what season was your favorite and why.

#supernatural #spnfandom

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scarlettablack · 5 years ago

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There is a definite shift in quality and the type of story being told in SPN Seasons 6 and especially 7, and I used to always have trouble understanding why bc Sera Gamble had been an integral part of the story development, and had written some of my favorite SPN eps of all time (It’s a Terrible Life and Jus in Bello for starters), so why is her tenure as showrunner so... weird?

I think there’s a bit of a two-fold problem. Sera is first and foremost a strong B-plot, thematic writer. Her episodes usually dig into the emotional part of the series, and as a result her episodes tend to be Dean-centric. So, when she took over as showrunner, Dean got promoted to protagonist.

The problem is that Dean is the one who carries the emotional arcs through the series for the most part. So, Seasons 6 & 7 are essentially an excercise in trying to make a B plot into a C plot (or whatever the overarching myth arc is supposed to be). As a result, the episodes feel a lot more disjointed, because they’re being used as metaphors, and as a result it’s almost as if the myth arc is being told to service the episodic arcs, which are being told to service the emotional arc.

It makes for extremely good meta essays and character development (like the themes about “what is family, can you grow past the mistakes of your (chosen) kin, how do you justify hurting your family” and “how do you grieve a loved one especially one who betrayed you, who should you look to for support and guidance, etc” from S6 and S7 respectively), but is in general very hard to watch. Like hbomberguy says abt Pathologic, SPN S6 and S7 are more fun to talk about than to actually experience.

The second is that Season 7 doesnt really follow through on its themes. In order for the entire season (at least up to 7x17) to make any lick of sense, you have to approach it from a destiel perspective. There was a meta writer back in the day who really did outline how all of S7 really dives into Dean’s grief abt Cas, and many of the episodes have a funhouse mirror reflection of Dean and/or Cas and their relationship throughout. The main problem is that most of these parallels are explicitly romantic in nature (and none that I can think of take on the “fraternal” nature they often claim for Dean and Cas’ relationship), so the S7 story arc essentially wants to have its cake and eat it too. The reason S7 really falls apart at the seams is simply because the story is in the subtext that the writers swear up and down isnt there

(And another thing), with a few exceptions, none of the MOTW or VOTW (victims of the week) are very fun. Like, I dont care about them very much, and they don’t really make an impact on the Winchesters in any meaningful way, so they’re just... there to be there, really

#spn sb #that’s my take on it!#i remember reading flutiebear’s meta on it back in the day and it was so very good #but i fundamentally disagree on the idea that seasons 6 and 7 were good actually #they have strong components but overall the structure is wonk

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kynthosmojo · 6 years ago

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Venting

HERE BE SPOILERS!! SPN S15 E2 - Raising Hell

(gif by @sasquatchandleatherjacket, thank God for you. If you want me to remove this I will, but I honestly felt the way Sam looks right now)

Ep 2 -

Additional chess pieces: Rowena, Ketch, Kevin, Chuck, Amara

New enemies: Jack the Ripper, New faceless female demon?!

Mysteriously missing out on the fun: Woman in White, Bloody Mary, Gacy Clown

Short Version: Leader Sam is not acting normal; Jack the Ripper was annoyingly cool; Civilians are infinitely stupid. Someone tells you it is dangerous to go somewhere and you go? You could ask the people keeping you safe to go get the shit you need for emergencies, but no. Useless Angel is again useless and getting more useless, also arguing with the heroes with no solution for his damn self.

---

So yeah, the first thing we get is a surprisingly creepy start, middle of the night, human disregarding the rules, get killed by what looks like a person she knows. Oh but wait, he was possessed. Very interesting ghost, psychotic, scary actually.

Angel being useless arguing with Sam instead of making himself useful. He is stronger than the humans, so shouldn't he be on patrol?? Even shouldn't he go looking for the missing ppl?

Oh Sam, How I wish you would have just snapped a little bit harder. Why not "When we say do not go in, you do not go in! Now someone's missing, isn't that a clue? Thank you for making our jobs that much harder! Now, if you need emergency items, we have ppl to help with that who know what they are doing. Stop trying to end up dead, and do as I say!"

Oh, the new HGIC is Jack The Ripper? Oh shit.

Oh great, stupid people not listening, yet again!

Oh so JTR has trouble getting attention too. Anyway, this mofo seems to be no joke.

Civilians stand there and breathe after you heard gunshots and growling, and see dead ppl, no don't run. Yah great.

Cass, argumentative as usual. What exactly do you expect Sam and his hunters to do since they are already busy? YOU go look for stupid humans who don't listen, just like yourself.

Ladies and gentlemen, it is time to play: Bobbing for guest stars! Rowena sweeps in and flirts with Cass. Ugh, why?

OK, SO 12:30 SECONDS INTO THE WHOLE 45 MIN SHOW AND WE FINALLY SEE SAM AND DEAN ON THE SAME SCREEN! Yah great.

Shoot them, my guys, I am pretty sure it will hurt less than what I am afraid will happen! YEP I. WAS. RIGHT!!!!!

And the brothers' scene together is over at 13:36 for commercial but resumes at 16:30 and goes through 19:00… so far. Total of about 5mins, 30secs. Anxiously waiting for more…

Guest Star # 2! Ketch is in the line-up!

OH! And a gun that shoots Iron Flakes. (in Bobby's voice)Used to be when you needed to get a ghost outta ya, you'd take a hit of rock salt. It would hurt like a bitch, but you'd live. And these two maybe wouldn't have gotten their guts ripped up waiting on Ketch's appearance with his new convenient toy!!!

Meanwhile, what a convenient way to bring up a new demon. Female named Ardat. GREAT…

Chuck and Sissy sitting in a tree, A-R-G-U-I-N-G. Why do they sound like an old married couple already? Oh yeah, because apparently, it is better to be hetero and incestuous than… NVM won't go there.

ANYWAY… 6th grader 'does so and so like me' bullshit from Rowena, I can only guess that is coming up on Ketch's side. Poor Dean. Then USELESS wants to try to start a convo Dean definitely doesn't wanna hear. And why is he trying to preach that all of this is supposed to happen like this anyway! That's life let's just move on?! Are you fucking serious?! Oh and that supposed inspirational, but actually desperate grab "We are" was so damn stupid. Like I keep saying, USELESS.

Oh and their screen time in case no one cares: 20:50 through 23:15. Total less than 2mins, 25 secs. And it was a painfully dry conversation I could well have done without.

Was so very right about the 6th grader bullshit! Oh great, instead of Salt hula hoops and gun bungees, we get loose ass chain links of iron around the neck that can fall off at any time! Tell me Mr. BMOL, how come you don’t have a convenient better-thing-than-an-iron-chain-link-necklace!!!!

Hello, 'nother guest star. It's Kevin Tran, everyone! Thanks for conveniently saving the moment again. And after the demon kid tells you multiple times that the wards are temporary, KEVIN tells you once that it is weakening and yay! It hits home. Don't get mad at the demon for not listening.

Chuck and Sissy sitting in a tree, A-R-G-U-I-N-G. Again. Little retreat? Priceless relationship? He wants to deepen what they have? Start a new species?! GURRL JUST SAY NO! Ohh but she figured him out, so now the trouble starts. He's low on power, he needs her help, he's scared.

Brother time! 34:10 through… hold on while I catch this, why is it always Sam to give away a secret? And why is Belphegor being a snoopy little sneak? Oh and suddenly he makes more sense than experience?! They cannot get Kevin to heaven cuz Chuck isn't their friend anymore? I am sure spells still work... 35:30…

OOH! Break for shoulder issue… and back to bros at 35:38-ish and back and forth for a few secs again because Chuck is freaking out. It is like the deity has never felt pain before. But that would mean he forgot when Amara punched him in his figurative balls last time huh? You 'member, when he almost DIED?

So Dean is worried again, but Sam refuses to even acknowledge it (kinda badass, kinda stubbornly stupid). OK, Bros done at about 35:58. Another generous minute and some. Geez.

Whoops, Kevin forgot that he could leave the way he came in. That was a mistake.

Oh, macgruder here we go with the only female on the team must help the men repopulate the earth or at the very least be raring to go because what? She's a newly free feminist with all the power over her cooch so the first thing she does is wanna give it up? Ketchwena? AWKWARD. Yah great.

Rowena had to take the long way thru the badlands to get the new weapon, also temporary, to the boys. It isn't tested, so instead of testing it out on the fucking ghost who would definitely deserve it who caught up to you before your destination, let's allow Ketch to play jealous new suitor and knight in shining armor! Oh and then he gets put in a vulnerable position! Yah great.

Segway back to… Why is it that because Rowena is the only female POA (piece of ass) on the team, she has to flirt with Cass, then Ketch, AND she has a history with Jack the Ripper? And yet, she treats Sam like he's a naughty kid she's babysitting, but ppl want to ship them two like the fucking Titanic!

Oh right back to Winchesters. Actually, the whole team is here now. Yah great.

ANYWAY… How TF and when did JTR get in Ketch between his stand-off with the Winchesters, trying to consume Kevin and the new untested weapon finally being TESTED! Only to find out it ain't as badass as the first one!!!!! Convenient. Yah great.

Don't think I forgot… The fucking force field spell thing is a one-off?! BOO newbie! So now it has a weak spot and everyone conveniently knows where it is.

So, did anyone else see the Ketch thing coming? Why TF did he need to have Rowena's back from so close? Yeah, I saw that flinch JTR! Why oh why did Dean shoot his load into the hundreds of ghosts when he had limited ammo and was apparently the ONLY one allowed to sneak in ammo?! Again, USELESS is in the background, useless. He can see a demon's true face, but can't tell when someone is possessed by a ghost?

So what if Dean wouldn't hesitate to shoot Ketch, couldn't one person, or useless fucking Angel bring the Iron Frosted Flake Gun? Oh but the Angel can heal, right? No?! Seriously WTF!!!! DO NOT MAKE EXCUSES FOR HIM ANYMORE SAM!

LITERALLY ALL OF THIS SHIT COULD HAVE BEEN PREVENTED!!!! I agree with conflict for building, enhancing, and developing the plot, but fucking really?!

EWWW Ketchwena again?! OK, but also, Ketch flirted with Dean more than the useless Angel supposedly did.

And WTF is this?! NOW we are gonna listen to a demon when he says Kevin cannot be returned to heaven? Before, no one could be bothered to trust Belphegor's uncanny wisdom. ARE THEY FUCKING FORGETTING THAT THE SAME SPELL THAT SENT BOBBY UP FROM HELL SHOULD WORK ON KEVIN? AND ISN’T IT MORE WORTH IT TO TRY THAN NOT?!!!!!!

Oh, but then let's let Kevin out a little hole in the electric fence and have it take long enough that no other ghosts happen to sneak thru. Oh, they are that scared of Belphegor? Really? So he should have been the one on patrol AT ALL TIMES!!!!

Chuck and Sissy sitting in a tree, A-R-G-U-I-N-G. Yet again! Geez, dude get a clue!

BECAUSE LOOK NOW! THERE ARE TONS OF GHOSTS STILL COMING FROM 'SOMEWHERE'! SHOULDN'T WE BE TRYING TO GET TO THAT SPOT AND SHUT THAT SPOT DOWN? MAYBE? AS A START?

WHAT THE FUCK DO I KNOW? I'VE ONLY BEEN WATCHING A SHOW THAT SHUTS DOWN HELLMOUTHS AS A HOBBY FOR FIFTEEN FUCKING YEARS!

#spoilers #spn #supernatural #venting #season 15 #episode 2

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followedbyraven · 5 years ago

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About 15 years ago, from the very first episode, I got hooked up on a new tv show, “Supernatural”. It was amasing!

It was a kind of magic that: - grips you and doesn’t let go; - follows you and stays on your mind for hours; - walks side by side through the years, sometimes becoming your shadow, sometimes wandering so far away that what is left is only a glimpse on the horizon of life.

After being for many years a part of Buffy the Vampire Slayer fandom and finding some kind of uneasy closure when Angel: the Series concluded I thought I swore the fandom life for good. I was young and somewhat naive, and didn’t understand the simple truth: once you step into this river - you will keep coming for more.

Initially following the road that the Winchester brothers took in the first three seasons I was what is called a general audience. Ok, a bit more, cause I’ve long ago lost count how many times I watched each and every episode of seasons 1-3 during just that period.

It was indeed MAGIC! Then came hellatus between 3rd and 4th seasons and I have to be honest, my interest in SPN was by that time slowly slipping away. I was incredibly busy at work, living life on the road, barely at home, working sometimes 14-16 hours a day, and loving every single moment of that. It was hard but I treasure memories of those times, despite terribly missing my husband, and comfort of home, and loved ones. Also it was almost impossible to keep up with SPN airing schedule. Not to mention that it was already some kind of miracle that I was almost religiously following SPN for three years. I do follow other TV shows but don’t get so attached. I love parings, OTPs, to write and read fanfiction, to admire the talent of fanart creators and ingeniousness of meta-writers... but it takes two to tango, in other words - I need an OTP to properly function in the fandom. I wasn’t into any of the brothers and was a strictly het!shipper; I used to write slash for friends as a gift or commission but wasn’t really interested in it. Plus I’m One Fandom at a time, one OTP at a time kind of shipper, I don’t multitask when it comes to fandom life. So yeah, for SPN I was a general audience for 3 years until an ruffled angel broke through the barn doors, got knifed in the heart as some kinky way of thanks for the save from Hell, flashed Dean some shadow wings and... It was amazing and it was awesome, and it was magic. Again. Just like that day I’ve watched SPN 1x01 for the very first time.

Jack is a baby of the family. I wasn’t sure about this character and was afraid that I wouldn’t like him. So much suspense was build around his first appearance, so much negativity. But I was worried for nothing. He is a sweetheart and a darling, great addition to the story and to the show, he can be soft, naive and uncertain, but also fierce and protective of people he sees as part of a family. I was a complete “feels, feels, so many feels” from the first episode he appeared in. I still have half of season 14 and the rest of season 15 to catch up, but so far I like what I see. Sam. I like Sam a lot and he means a lot to me and to a relationship I have with my brother. I may not often mention him but I treasure this character and admire him. I look at him for understanding, when me and my little brother, who is a head taller than me by now, can’t find a common ground. Sam taught me when I need to take a step back from heated discussion, evaluate my bro’s side of the argument once more, just simply understand and admit the very fact that some things I will never get, not really, not fully, but if this is his, my little brother’s, thing, I have to respect that and give him a much needed space. In the end it is his business, and his life, and it is he who has to live it and to have a control over it. Dean. I can’t get enough of Dean and I respect him. I’m not attracted to him, never was, just not my type, i guess, but to me he is that dear friend that gets it. Just simply GETS IT! He is an older brother just like I’m an older sister. And through the years, through the moments when I’m again and again completely baffled by my bro’s attics and can’t come with an appropriate response, one thought always comes to my mind: What would Dean do? So yeah, 15 years of “what would Dean do” and that character feels like one of my best friends and supporters. He gets it - the straggle between the instinct to protect and the need to let go, make own way, through mistakes and hardships. Ready to offer support but not choking my babybro with it.

Cas. I adore Castiel, simply adore him. He is my favourite after all. But what is more important, I get inspiration and that extra infusion of strength from this character. I got a gift of better understanding my brother from Sam, and a possible course of action, a kind of battle plan, from Dean, but Castiel helps me to be myself, to enjoy life even when all I want is to crumble and weep. From him I got: If he could do it, so can I. This is something unique, what I couldn’t receive from another human being, real or imagined, because I also often feel like an alien being. I don’t have a mental illness but I did experience a trauma when I was but a small child. And this kind of guano never fully goes away, never truly leaves mind. I lack a deeper understanding of a lot of simple things that many people take for granted, there are days when it feels like I don’t have a strength in me to step over the threshold into the street (but I still do it every day), and I still often stumble through the words to make a simple purchase at the supermarket (even after 10 years of going to the same store), and I feel disconnected from the world at large. I’m uncomfortable in the crowd and I’m that awkward weirdo at the party sitting al alone in the corner.

Don’t get me wrong, I live a normal and fulfilling live, you may meet me on the street, in the crowd, shopping, smiling and chatting with friends (smile on my lips and easy going attitude), driving car, stepping on the train, I may even live next to you or in the same city. And you’ll never guess that despite the fact that smile on my lips is real (I am happy to be in this world, be a part of it), there is pain in my shoulders because I can’t relax them, and I feel lightheaded, and the world is slightly spinning and blurry from an effort to simply do what comes so natural to a lot of others - just walk on the street, just live my life, just be in this world.

Many years ago I gave myself a promise: to get up everyday with a smile. No matter what, I always start my day with a smile. It’s a first thing I do when I open my eyes. Over the time it became a second nature. That little extra drop of good mood before morning tea comes automatically through no effort at all. During the day that small infusion of happiness may grow into a true joy or it may slowly fade away. And it’s that second scenario when I remember that if an alien being could do it - find inner strength to go on through high and low, to navigate the strange world of human beings... Well, I am human and simply because of my own nature, from the get go, I already have it much easier than him, this fictional character which slowly managed to mean so much to me.

Overshare much? Maybe. Actually, for sure. My apologies to all who is not comfortable with such kind of openness. I don’t feel that it is a right time and I am in the right mood to talk about my OTP, so I will leave it for another time when I have an urge to explode into a massive firework of feels and words.

But this is my tribute to Supernatural and to all people who brought these amazing, wonderful, beloved characters to life, gave them shape and form: the cast, the crew, the team of writers, everyone involved on every step of the road. 15 years, people! This is a big slice of my life, of anyone’s life. This is my thanks, and my love, and my gratitude. I’ve never been to convention, never met anyone of them and most likely never will, but I needed to give form to what I feel. Am I sad that SPN is almost over? Sure, I will cry a river when the final episode arrives! But I understand that everything eventually comes to an end. It was a beautiful run but I respect their decision and stand by it. And I already know what I want for Christmas or as a birthday gift when a full 15 (or is it 16 now with such a long corona-hiatus between already aired and still in production episodes?) season boxset hits the stores (Blue-Ray, pretty please, with as much extras and bonus materials as possible)

P.S. But you know whom I also want to thank and hug, and shower with love? All my fandom mates, known to me and total strangers, all those incredibly talented, wonderful, amazing people who write fanfiction, create art, express their love for the show through any possible creative outlet. No matter the stan, no matter the ship, over the years I’ve met truly great, kind, friendly and positive people in every wing of the fandom. YOU ARE AWESOME!

#Castiel #Destiel #Misha Collins #Cas!girl spn tribute #The all have a special place in my heart #SPN team free will

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sunflowers-and-bucky · 6 years ago

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Writing Interview

I was tagged in this by the one and only @angryteapot because she’s very awesome and kind<3 Sorry it took so long for me to answer, love.

So here we go, if y’all wanna learn more about me click keep reading. Knowing myself I’ll probably go off a bit on some of these questions but oh well so be it. I’ll be tagging a few people after answering:)

(sorry for any spelling mistakes your girl is tired)

Q: What is your coffee order?

I don’t drink coffee! No offense but to me it just tastes like dirt. If I’m at a coffee shop or something chances are I’m drinking hot chocolate.

Q: What is the coolest thing you’ve ever done?

The coolest thing I’ve ever done was probably attending MMUN. It was years ago, but the memories are still so clear in my head and I’m sure I’ll remember it till the day I die. For those of you who don’t know MMUN stands for Montessori Model United Nations and is a UN roleplay where Montessori students from all over the world come to play delegates and “solve” world problems. You get assigned a land to represent and one or two issues you and your committee has to solve. (When talking of problems you have to talk from your assigned country’s point of view even if you disagree.) The students are picked out from their schools and prepare for 6+ months.

It was honestly such an amazing time, both being there (Rome) and preparing. I attended with some of my closest friends and it was just great. It made you feel so powerful and like you could actually do something. I don’t know man, all I know is that that was one of the best experiences in my life.

Q: Who has been your biggest mentor?

I’m lucky enough to have had quite a few people wanting to help me/mentor me throughout my life. My all-time favorite one, though, no matter what has to be my karate instructor Johan. I’ve trained Shotokan karate since I was 8 and he’s always been my instructor so he's witnessed me growing up and changing (rather dramatically too lmao). Not to be dark but I’ve had some familial issues throughout my life and there have been times where I’ve felt like I didn’t have a dad, but I always had Johan no matter what. Johan and his wife (who also trains karate with us) have more or less raised me and unlike my real parents they have never given up on me. They take care of me, ask me about my day, support me, ask about my mental health, praises me and so on. The relationship between a karate instructor and his student is usually stronger than other trainer/students relationships, but they kinda took it to the next level. I really love them for everything they’ve done for me and Johan is definitely my biggest mentor.

Q: What has been your most memorable writing project?

I mean, I haven’t been publishing for way too long so I don’t know if anything is “memorable” yet? But Professional Camping is my favorite so far (and my first published fic!) if ya wanna check it out;)

Q: What does your writing path look like, from the earliest days until now?

Well, I’ve been writing since I was 12, but I’ve only recently begun seriously publishing. I say seriously publishing because there was a time a few years back when I published spn fics on Wattpad but... let’s not talk about that okay?

There’s not really much of a “path” to talk of, to be honest. I’ve been writing for a few years now. I wanted to publish for months before actually daring to, but then I did and now we’re here! So far I’ve gotten a bit over 200 followers which I’m eternally grateful for and a fair amount of mutuals (some so talented that I swear I almost started crying when they followed me). There’s really not much more to say than that, here’s to more years of writing!

Q: What is your favorite part about writing?

You know that saying that a writer is always writing even when they’re not writing words? Like stories are always created in the mind of a writer? Yeah, that’s my favorite part. Just watching stories unfold in my head and bring new colors into my world. It’s fascinating and it gives me some sort of weird writer kick.

Q: What does a typical day look like for you?

I get up at 6AM, leave the house at 7AM, go to school and attend whatever classes I have that day, lunch with a few friends (or maybe alone if they decide to stay at home and ditch me), more classes, go home, make dinner, train karate and then do whatever I feel like for example writing or Netflix. It might sound boring but fam I fucking love routines okay? Love em.

Q: What does your writing process look like?

Depends. I usually get an idea and then I think about it for a week before I find the time to sit down and write it after school or on a saturday morning. Sometimes the words come easily and I get that nice flow, sometimes it’s a bit of a struggle. If it’s the latter I write it until I’m tired and then I take a break before continuing, wheras if I have a flow I write it all in one sitting. Only the first draft though, I have a rule that I never write a second draft/edit before at least a day later because I want a fresh pair or eyes.

Occasionally though I end up witing fics in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep. I have a notebook by my bed filled with fics for when I can’t sleep. Sometime sthe fics are garabage, but when they’re not I’ll write over onto a google docs document.

Q: What’s the best advice you’ve gotten?

Idk if this is meant to be writing adive or advice in general, but I’ll give you both.

Best writing advice is that the firstdraft is for you, the second is for everyone else. Don’t stress about using too many adverbs or starting sentences with but or and in your first draft. That ish is your eyes only so you don’t have to worry so much.

The other advice thing isn’t as much of advice as it is just something important that stuck with me, but I’ll say it either way. Once when I was in my early teens Johan were teaching us a new kata (a karate thig) and I was really struggling. Everyone else but me were nailing it (at least in my head) so I got kind aupset and said “I’m sorry, I suck.” To which Johan replied “Chris, the only thing you suck at is judging yourself accuretly. If there’s anyone I know who doesn’t suck it’s you. Now get up and try again because I know in my heart you can do it.”

That kinda touched me idk.

Q: What’s the biggest lesson you’ve learned?

If your body says you need a break you need a break. It’s so easy to let stress eat you alive and let anxiety keep you inside the house, but don’t do it. Sometimes you just need to stop and breathe for a moment and that’s okay.

Q: What advice would you give someone who wants to start writing?

Write for yourself not for anyone else. It’s easy to get caught up in notes and followers but please for the love of God don’t. The only thing that matters is that you’re enjoying yourself and learning new things. If you’re not having a good time then something is wrong.

That’s all folks! I’ll be tagging a few people, you’re under no obligation to answer if you don’t want to/have done it before<3

Tagging: @wintersoldierswhore @bucky-at-bedtime @trashpandabarnes @moonstruckhargrove @strawberrybucky @seabuckys

#tag game #writing interview

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thing-you-do-with-that-thing · 7 years ago

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Serendipity

Characters: Castiel Novak, Dean Winchester, Hannah Novak, Gadreel Novak, Garth Fitzgerald, Benny Lafitte

Pairing: Destiel

Square Filled: Student!Cas

Warnings: Cat people might take offense lol - I promise I love kitties. The slurs are for fictional purposes.

Rating: General

Word Count: 1100ish

A/N: This done for @spnaubingo and is a request from the lovely @mrswhozeewhatsis

Thanks to the amazing @impalaimagining for betaing this for me.

***My fics are not to be saved nor posted on any other sites without my express written permission.***

SPN AU BINGO MASTERLIST

Watching his sister’s damn cat while she was on vacation with with her husband was more trouble than it was worth. Cas grumbled as he for the 5th time in two days. He didn’t have time for this with his last finals coming up. Cas was a 4th year history major and chasing cats about campus when he should be worrying about enochian lore was the last thing he needed to be doing.

“Angel? Where are you?” Cas called out, grumbling at the funny looks the drunk first years gave him. Why the hell could Hannah not have gotten a dog instead? At least those come when called, right?

Cas continued his search, calling out for the stupid animal for about an hour until he finally heard it meowing above his head from the tree right by his apartment window.

“You have got to be kidding me,” Cas grumbled, not any more thrilled now that he had found the cat. “Get down here,” he called, knowing that there was no way in hell she was going to obey his command anyway.

“This is so cliche,” Cas muttered as he fished his phone out of his pocket, calling the fire department to help him get the insufferable pet down from the tree. Next time Hannah and Gadreel could bring the thing with them on vacation. No way in hell Cas was going through this again.

At least the call was less embarrassing than he thought it would be. The young operator, Garth something, seemed nice and wasn’t judging him as Cas had feared would happen. The only trouble was the time that continued to pass. 15 minutes, 30 minutes, 1 hour… Cas didn’t have time for this, and the cat clearly wasn’t moving on it’s own accord, so the young man decided to climb the tree and get the damn thing down himself so he could get on with his studies.

Climbing the tree was no problem, getting down on the other hand… Suddenly, Cas understood Angel’s problems, though they appeared to be all douchery since the intolerable fleabag skipped from branch to branch and onto the ground the moment Cas reached for her. If only Cas could figure out how the hell she had done that, but he couldn’t. So now he was the one stuck in the tree.

His embarrassment only grew as the red truck finally appeared around the corner, 90 minutes after he had called for help.

“Fantastic,” Cas grumbled as the laughing firefighters, covered in soot, clearly newly returned from a fire, started forming a cluster under the tree.

“That’s the biggest cat I’ve ever seen,” one of the firefighter’s laughed before the one next to him placed a friendly slap against his shoulder.

“Well, at least this one won’t make you sneeze, brother,” the guy teased in a heavy cajun accent.

“Shut your face,” the first firefighter grumbled as he crawled into the basket, readying himself to be hoisted up to Cas.

The closer he got, the more mortified Cas became. Of course it had to be a smoking hot fireman they’d sent to save him from his own stupidity.

“Hiya, I’m Dean,” the green-eyed adonis grinned at him when the basket reached the right height and came to a halt. “I’m here to save a cat. You didn’t happen to see one, did you?” Dean grinned, and Cas was sure he had wanted to slap him, if he wasn’t so damn busy hanging onto the branch.

“Funny,” Cas mumbled, not wanting to look the man in the eye for two reasons. The most obvious one being his embarrassment, secondly he was afraid if he looked too directly into those shining green orbs, carefully studying him, he might to succumb to a dizzy spell and fall from the tree all on his own.

Dean chuckled as he stepped close to Cas’ side of the basket. “What’s your name?” Dean’s voice softened a little, and Cas let out a sigh of relief the teasing seemed to be over for now.

“Cas,” he answered, looking up to gaze at the man before him, which truly enough, proved to be a mistake. His footing slipped a little but was saved by Dean’s quick reaction and a hand on his arm steadying him again.

“Easy there,” Dean smiled reassuringly, “what do you say we get you over here, huh?” Dean calmly explained where Cas should step, never once releasing his hold on his arm. With Dean’s guidance, Cas found himself safely standing in the basket next to the smiling God of a man, trying to remember how to breathe or at least not look stupid as Dean yelled for the cajun man, called Benny, to lower them to the ground.

“So, it’s customary to thank your hero,” Dean smirked at Cas as he opened the side of the basket to let them out, “I’d settle for a date though.”

Cas could have sworn his heart stopped beating for a few seconds as he looked at the man who had just saved him from sleeping in a tree. Something about the smug look on Dean’s face gave Cas a surge of courage and, instead of answering, he did something he’d never in his life thought he would be brave enough to do.

He wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck and crashed his lips against the firefighter’s, taking him completely by surprise. Cas was just about to regret his actions, when Dean finally seemed to catch on to what was happening, wrapping his arms around the college student and kissing him back with a fever.

Benny clearing his throat finally broke them apart, Cas with a slightly dazed look on his face and Dean with a smug grin on his.

“Is somebody missing an Angel?” Benny questioned in an amused voice.

“Nah… I’m good,” Dean grinned, not taking his eyes off Cas for a second, causing him to roll his eyes and blush slightly as he took the cat with the pink name tag off Benny’s hands.

“Yeah, that would be mine,” Cas thanked the cajun firefighter before sending Dean a shy smile, “pick me up at 7 tomorrow?”

“It’s a date,” Dean smirked, “no more tree climbing until then, huh?”

Cas rolled his eyes again, turning around, his face turning crimson as he heard the other firefighters whistle and start messing with Dean. It took all the willpower he had to walk normally into his apartment building, but not as soon as the doors had closed did he do a small victory dance, kissing the sulking and whining cat thank you, as he thought of the first date of hopefully many he’d get to spent with Dean. Maybe getting stuck in a tree wasn’t that bad after all...

If you liked it - reblog to spread my work. Leave feedback; make my day and keep me going.

Destiel Tag Team

@atc74 @fatalcrossbow @mrswhozeewhatsis @mysupernaturalfics @saxxxology @crushing83 @docharleythegeekqueen @blushingdean @theoriginalvicki @jensen-gal @mysterious-398 @casownmsmyass @adriellej @waywardmoeyy @percywinchester27 @becs-bunker @sillesworldofwriting @dalikah3 @love-kittykat21 @thelittleredwhocould

#destiel #spnaubingo #dean x cas #dean winchester x castiel #cas x dean #destiel au #spn au #spn ship fic #spn imagine #destiel imagine #cas imagine #dean imagine #dean winchester #castiel

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