#my roommate made all the ones under deidara :>

[chaoticclaybomber]

Deidara stares at him with a narrow eyed look for several moments while he busies himself with organizing the beginnings of the meal. He doesn't.... feel like someone from his world. Would a god still have chakra? He can only assume so, but this one has some different kind of energy to him, not something Deidara is familiar with.

Was the Susanoo of the Uchiha even a real person? Or was that manifestation of their Sharingan something else entirely? He doesn't know; the research he was able to do was limited considering the Uchiha lived in Konoha, and there were only the two left. It made it very difficult to study your enemy when there was so little information left of them.

Still, this Susanoo is doing nothing to make Deidara clock him as a proper threat, not after the little disagreement on the balcony. While the shinobi can't say what fish stew from a recipe from the gods would entail, it sounds better than the 'whatever fits in the pot and smells good' that he's personally best at. He takes the potatoes handed to him with a little huff, and pulls out a bowl for the skins to go in. He sees no reason why he shouldn't just go ahead and tell his roommate why he hates the Uchiha; he's never made a secret of it after all.

"Uchiha Itachi was the one to force me into joining the Akatsuki, yeah. I said no, they said they'd leave me alone if I beat Uchiha in a fight, and he put me under a genjutsu so I almost blew myself up, un." As he speaks, he briskly scrubs the potatoes and settles in to skin them with precise and efficient flicks of a knife.

"I hate anything that takes my will from me, and they're masters of it so I trained myself to resist it, un. I wanted to kill him one day, un."

his  hand  falls.  draws  nearer  to  himself.  susanoo  blinks ,  briefly caught  off  guard  by  the  spontaneous  vitriol.

" it's  a  coincidence ,  i  assure  you.  though  i am a  god ,  i  remember  those  who  prostrated  themselves  under  my  name. "  or  surrendered  themselves  for  his  sake.�� he  resists  the  temptation  to  stare  down  at  his  hands ,  to  let  his  eyes  go  distant  with  past  memories  as  he  recalls  each  soul  by  face.  he  draws  in  a  breath ,  careful  with  his  words ,  " — UCHIHA ,  is  not  one  of  them. "

but  . . .  susanoo  is  also  a  god  of  many  things  violent ,  with  a  rumored  tyrannical  temperament  spread  far  across  the  lands  and  woven  into  many  tales  that  brought  fear  along  with  his  name.  who  is  to  say  there  had  not  been  a  group  of  like-minded  individuals  who  chose  to  worship  those  DARKER aspects  removed  from  the  god's  gaze ?

he  resumes  the  mundane  task  of  organization ,  beginning  with  the  scattered  tubers  over  the  counter  to  keep  his  mind  from  lingering  on  the  thought.  he  gathers  two ,  three  of  them  into  his  hands.  and  still ,  a  tickle  of  curiosity  sprouts  behind  his  ribs ,  wondering  WHO is  the  susanoo  from  deidara's  realm ,  and  if  the  name  is  fated  to  be  a  bearer  of  ill-will ,  too.

" sounds  like  these  uchiha-folk  have  caused  trouble  for  you ,  deidara.  and,  susanoo , "  he  says ,  trying  for  a  smile.  it  becomes  a  little  wry  as  he  passes  the  potatoes  to  the  teen.  " you can tell me — if you'd like — while preparing these. we'll be having fish stew , with a secret recipe from the gods. "

[apple-ships]

OKAY BUT THE RING AND BRACELETS IS SUCH A CUTE IDEA??? I bet they’re super cute! 🥺🥺🥺

THANK YOU !! 🥰❤❤❤ Responding to this a few days late because I wanted to get pictures hehe, here they are if you wanna see! :D

[electra-pylades]

The Great  Sakura Haruno Fanfiction Recommendation List

Otherwise known as my September 2019 Fanfiction Roundup 

The Get-Goods: In which our girl Sakura gets to train and become the bad ass she was always meant to be. (most romantic pairings are minimal). 

Retrograde Motion by Crunchysunrises -  From sixteen to eleven didn't feel like a big jump until she realized that she was now the best ninja in their class. And that tiny Sasuke hates her for it. [My all time favorite Naruto fanfic. Funny and filled with incredible world building. This is what canon Naruto wishes it was]

Expedient by SwiftKick - Konoha and Iwa sign a truce and agree to an Exchange Program between recently promoted genin to "bolster village relations." Fortunately, if anything were to go wrong, Haruno Sakura was just average enough to risk losing. [This one really plays with the idea of Sakura as a Redshirt and what that would do to your psyche. There’s some Deidara/Sakura, but it’s mostly focused on her growth.]

a girl in the forest of moss and bone by theformerone -  Katsuyu spits acid in her eyes, and Sakura must prove herself worthy enough for the slugs of Shikkotsu Forest to heal. [Sakura goes to Shikkotsu Forest to become a Slug Sage. This one feels like Naruto by way of Princess Mononoke.] 

Pulling My Weight by itsthechocopuff - During their mission to Wave, Sakura realises how behind she is in her training and decides to do something about it. She vows to become a shinobi her Village and her teammates can respect and depend on.

Survival of the Fittest by  cywscross -  Sakura is thirteen, still a Genin, lost in the middle of Earth Country, lugging an unconscious Chuunin around, and so far beyond scared that she’s moved right on to pissed off.

How To Save The World With No One Even Realizing by IncompleteSentanc (Erava) - It all starts with Rin's kidnapping, and her subsequent rescue at the hands of a mysteriously appearing, monstrously strong, murderously violent woman. A woman with cotton candy pink hair.

Kill Your Heroes by Evil Is A Relative Term - It's time to stop waiting for other people to save you. A story about fear, resilience, and Sakura.

Dirt and Ashes, or: The One-and-a-Half Body Problem by Tozette -  The invasion of Konoha during the chuunin exam didn't fail. Team seven is broken, people are dead, and Sakura is hurt and frightened and a very long way from home.

ABO:  In which ABO Fics treat the female characters better than the canon. 

Gratuitous Title Here, Please by Esloriath -  Sakura Haruno has hidden her omega status for as long as she can remember. What happens when an unplanned fight with the Akatsuki drains her of her last chakra reserves - those she uses to mask her scent?

Taken by MistressDragonFlame - Haruno Sakura was an Omega. She didn't let her status hold her back, becoming a Jounin of Konohagakure, a disciple of the Godaime Hokage, and the strongest shinobi in the village. All she had to ensure was that she managed her heats, and kept a respectful distance between herself and her Alpha teammates.

Heart Under a Blade by yunyu -  Kakashi suspects the universe is out to punish him for his failures in the most poetic and painful matter possible, but he's pretty sure he deserves it.

YOUNGins: In which our baby is a baby - and also a bad ass. 

The Flowers Cherish You by  ich_bin_ein_stern -  Nature has always cared for Sakura and Sakura has always loved nature. They have a beautiful, strong bond. But can such a bond withstand the tragedies that follow a shinobi's life? 

About Face by  wroth_and_ruin  - A little yellow-haired boy saves Sakura from the bullies. And everything changes.

Time Flies Like an Arrow by  Katlou303 -  Sakura traveled back in time with the intent of changing everything, but something went wrong, and now she's four years old having nightmares about impossible monsters and losing friends she has yet to meet.

Freedom in the Eyes of Another by Oroburos69 -   The Wave Mission was a failure. They got caught, captured, taken-it didn't end well. Now Sakura has a half-heard order, uncut fingernails, and more desperation than bravery. One way or another, she's getting Team Seven out today.

ROMANCE: 

How & Why by  randomsomeone - A psychological war gets completely out of control. Lust doesn't cut it and love doesn't just happen, so how else can it work? [One of the all time Greats. Gaara/Sakura]

Heartbeat by letmeannoyyoutoday -  From the beginning of their relationship, Sakura never failed to thank Sasuke for every little gesture that he made. It took a while for him to realize that the reason she did it was because, the moment she accepted to be his wife and give him all that she had left to give, she honestly never expected to receive anything in return. [One of the few stories that made me really care about this couple. SasuSaku]

In Case of Blue Scroll by Leola Majora -   In Case of Blue Scroll the Hokage must lock himself in his office and pull his hair out as what he thought were memories of a long lost love turn out to be the memories of a mission he was about to assign his former student, Sakura Haruno.

Roommates From Hell (and Other Miscalculations) by Crunchysunrises -  Itachi has a girlfriend.  So does Kakashi.

Ikebana by waitingatthecrossroads -  She should never have caught his attention. Pursued by a prodigy, can Sakura manage to escape Itachi's determined clutches? Will she even want to?

CROSS OVERS and AUs 

Menagerie by Crunchysunrises -  Twelve of Konohagakure's shinobi are cursed by the animals of the zodiac. Most of them are pretending to be Sakura's pets. [Fruits Basket meets Naruto] 

The Natural Habitat of Haruno Sakura by Tozette - Sakura moves to a new town to attend university and desperately needs to find a cheap room in a share house.Luckily, the Akatsuki need a new housemate.

[snickiebear]

/)///(\ sakulee, modern roommates

AHAHAHAH IT SAYS THREE SENTENCES. THIS IS NOT THREE SENTENCES.

i had such a good time writing this. this was so fucking CUTE like i had to stop and just smile so big because omfg i love these stupid dorks ugh. and LISTEN. lee would 100% have a nice ass, you’re tellin me someone as fit as him wouldnt?? hellllloooo not on my watch

She stood in front of the door and steeled her spine. Double and tripling checking she had the address right, Sakura tightened her grip on her duffle bag and knocked. 

Her phone buzzed with texts from Deidara, Kisame, and Itachi asking if she had arrived safely, if her new roommate was a total creep, if she was sure she needed to move. They had been fretting like mother hens for the past two months when she told them she’d have to move further into the city for school and work. 

Hell, even Kazuko and Hidan were a little more grumpy when she told them the news, which was both hilarious and endearing. And well, she loved those stupid men but she really did need to move. She was just really lucky that Tenten knew someone who needed a roommate. 

The door swung open and Sakura quickly looked up from her long winded text that would hopefully reassure the boys that she was fine and promptly dropped her phone on her foot. Because. Holy fucking shit. 

When Tenten had told Sakura about her friend she had that look in her eye that Sakura should have known meant trouble. Plus, Tenten was always surrounded by annoyingly beautiful people and Rock Lee was not an exception. Hell, he was the defining line.

Sakura cursed filthily before slapping a hand over her mouth and stared at her new roommate while he smiled back at her, face flushed, “Ah, um, Haruno Sakura?”

She nodded mutely, stooping down to grab her phone before straightening, her face burning. She held out her hand, “Yeah, sorry. I’m Sakura. And you’re Rock Lee?”

Lee smiled again and Sakura’s heart pounded even harder. She should be used to unnaturally attractive men, hell she lived with some of them for the past five years, but damn. “I’ll show you around if you want. Tenten said you were starting your residency at the hospital?”

“Yeah,” Sakura tucked her hair behind an ear and followed him into the apartment’s kitchen, trying her best to not stare at his ass. “It’s why I had to move actually, also thank you again for letting me stay here. The rest of my stuff should be coming tomorrow.”

Lee looked at her, brows knit before waving her gratitude off, “No need for thanks! Any friend of Tenten’s is a friend of mine.” He beamed at her and Sakura could have sworn she forgot to breathe for a moment. 

She was so, so screwed.

.

.

.

“You work out?” She asked three weeks later, her hair was a mess, she was wearing Kisame’s shirt (that went well past her fucking knees. Stupid giant men.) and coffee mug in hand (Sasori made it for her, it was pretty fucking ugly). It was three in the afternoon and usually Sakura was at the hospital or sleeping the day away so she had never been treated to the sight of Lee sweaty and shirtless, post-work out.

He nodded excitedly, “Yes! There is a gym two blocks from here. Do you enjoy working out also?”

She nodded, lips twitching up in a smile, “Yeah actually, my old roommates and I used to do marathons together and go to the gym.” She pursed her lips, “How much does a membership cost?”

“Worry not,” Lee waved her off, smiling once more as he ran a hand through his hair (Sakura did not, did not stare). “I can add you to mine.”

“Oh.” Sakura blinked dumbly, eyes widening. “Oh. Uh. No, it's okay! I can-”

He clapped a hand to her shoulder and his hands were large and warm and calloused, “Allow me to, Sakura. After all, you do wash all the dishes and clean the bathroom.” Mirth danced in his dark eyes and Sakura felt herself flush, words tangling in her throat and twisting her tongue. She opted to just nod and scream into a pillow later. 

That night when Itachi called for their usual nighttime facetime (because they were still mothering her) he took one look at her and sighed heavily, “Are you using protection?”

She heard the sound of feet pounding over the phone and Hidan screaming what?! while Kisame snatched the phone from Itachi to lecture her about safe sex as if she wasn’t 25 and a fucking doctor. 

Sakura had never hung the phone up that quickly before.

.

.

.

“I think I’m in love with Lee.” She muttered, running her hands through her hair.

The boys finally found the time to come visit her in the city, so Itachi and Kisame sat at the counter while Sasori and Deidara explored the apartment. 

Itachi snorted into his tea cup while Kisame leveled her an unimpressed look. From her bedroom, Hidan yelled, “We fuckin’ knew that, bitch! ‘Bout fuckin’ time you figured it out, god damn!”

Sakura winced slightly, scratching at the back of her neck and putting her coffee mug on the counter. “Yeah yeah shut the fuck up Hidan!” She tugged at her hair again and twisted up her lips. “But what the fuck am I supposed to do? Or say? Do I tell him? Do I ignore it? This isn’t some normal situation, you know!”

(She didn’t notice the way Kisame and Itachi glanced over her shoulder or the soft jangle of keys.)

Sakura paced back and forth in the kitchen, arms flying up and flailing. “Like do I tell him, ‘Lee, we’ve been living together for over a year now and I am 100% in love with you. You make me breakfast and have me on your gym membership and the way you smell is so nice and your aftershave is kind of gross but I adore it because it's yours’?”

“Or!” She half yells, throwing her hands up again, “Should I tell him the way he smiles and his laugh makes me feel so alive and that I moved my shifts around so I could always be home when he got home and make dinner together? Or should I tell him how nice his ass is? How his positivity is so contagious and that he makes me want to be a better person? That literally just sitting in the same room gives me butterflies and calms me down all at the same time?”

The apartment was quiet and Sakura froze when someone behind her drops their keys. Kisame’s eyes were glued over her shoulder, Itachi looked at her half in amusement half in pity. 

Slowly, ever so slowly, Sakura turned around, eyes wide and face red to see Lee standing under the door frame, keys laying on the ground. He had a bouquet of flowers tucked under his arm and he audibly swallowed.  

Tucked in the flowers was a large card with her name sprawled in beautiful cursive.

Lee stared right back at her, his face just as red as hers before he thrusts the flowers into her shaking hands. 

And well, Lee was a loud person, he was a great communicator, and his feelings were never not known. But Sakura was in love with him, she knew him, and she could see him in those quiet moments. She knew what they meant. 

Sakura clasped the flowers to her chest and looked up at him, eyes watering and smiled widely. Without breaking eye contact, she addressed her best friends, “Get out.”

She will never live down the endless teasing of that day. Though, she was very glad she kicked them out sooner rather than later.

.

.

.

The piano played softly in the back as they danced, his hands settled on her hips, her arms around his neck. She smiled up at him, all joy and love. He balled openly, all overflowing emotion and unending happiness.

Sakura cupped his face, thumbs bruising away his tears before she leaned up to kiss him. Hidan wolf whistled and Tenten whooped in the back as they broke apart. Lee smiled, tucked her under his chin and Sakura closed her eyes, reveling in the bliss of it all. 

“Your ass looks so good in those pants,” She muttered.

Lee threw his head back and laughed.

click this!

[nyasukee]

about my au ^^

this is just a bunch of headcanons goodngijth

the uchiha clan

because i think them living together as a big family is really, really funny to me.

they’re all alive and well, even Indra. Though, he’s the relative that rarely ever shows up or lives with them because.. why would he. Instead, everyone has to deal with grandpa Madara. 

In this au, the uchihas run a restaurant instead of being military police. because fuck Tobirama <3 *side note, the Senjus run a store directly in front of them so .. local beef. 

Sasuke started working there when he was 11, just helping out by cleaning and such. He met Obito through there and to this day he regrets ever finding out Obito is his cousin. He’s embarrassing. Obito’s the type of relative to tell embarrassing stories to strangers. Sasuke tried fighting him over it but Itachi was there so there wasn’t much he could do.

The only uchiha that can’t cook is Sasuke. So he’s usually on dish washer duty LMAO. No matter how many times Itachi tells him the measurements this boy will eyeball it because he think’s he can do better. 

Madara, Izuna and Obito all live together, much to Obito’s expense. there isn’t a day where Obito doesn’t wish Madara would die in his sleep.

Itachi and Sasuke both used to live with their parents until,, an accident occurred that got them both killed. by then, Itachi was still 17 and with Sasuke being 12, they had to move in with Shisui, he didn’t mind it that much though ^^

Though, Shisui lives near Madara and them so they had to deal with his bullshit as well. Every year or so, during the holidays Itachi, Sasuke and Shisui were all invited over to Madara’s house. They never want to go there because Madara always finds creative ways to ruin everyone’s day.

The only pro about Madara is that he’ll willingly give you his ID and credit card and make you buy booze for him. Sasuke and Obito usually just spend his money on random shit. Madara knows and only punishes Obito. 

When the time came and Itachi had to move out for college, because of what he wanted to pursue, he couldn’t go to the school Shisui went too. Instead, he attended the same one as Obito. 

college // Itadei 

it’s literally just Itadei. the main focus of this au lmfaooo.

Before Itachi became Deidara’s roommate, he was paired up with Sasori. Due to them being in the same major it sort of made sense? They didn’t co-exist well though, they usually got into arguments over petty shit because, Deidara is very very petty. Though, they’re always seen together so nobody can tell if they’re friends or not??? 

The only reason why Sasori left is because he graduated early. Which left a vacant space for him. At first, Deidara didn’t mind. It was finally quiet... too quiet. He lowkey missed the bickering and things were getting boring so he set out to look for a roommate. Which didn’t exactly work out in his favor so for a while he had to live alone.

Eventually, the same thing happened to Itachi, his roommate ended up leaving because they wanted to live off campus which left an empty space. 

not getting into logistics, but they ended up becoming roommates with each other. which, was hell.

Deidara is 19. He’s literally fresh out of high school and still has most of his bad habits from then. He’s loud, messy, unorganized, stays up all night blasting music, spends all his money on food, has terrible eating habits because he’s an art student. He’s the typical college kid who’s in debt lmao.

Itachi was much more mature. He was an excellent student, always on time, always got his work done in a timely manner, he was neat and clean, never caused problems, was somewhat popular with the people there even if he didn’t talk much. To Deidara, Itachi seemed so arrogant. So obviously he didn’t like him, which caused Deidara to pick small arguments with him over little stuff. It was honestly just a little bit of jealousy.

Itachi doesn’t entertain shit like that so he didn’t even bother arguing back with him which set off Deidara even more lmaooo. Itachi thought he was annoying though, which it’s arguably hard to annoy Itachi like that so.... laughsj

Anyywayyy, after a while the two got used to each others presence and after a certain night where they started to drink together. they spent some time talking with each other and ever since that night, they’ve gotten closer. yes, Deidara is technically under drinking age but does he really care??? not really. Itachi advised him not too but who is he to tell Deidara what he can and cannot do???

Itachi ended up becoming really helpful for Deidara, doing little things for him like, cooking so he doesn’t have to eat out so much, taking small responsibilities off of Deidara’s shoulders so he has more time to work on his projects. 

Deidara realized what he was doing and wanted to do something back in return?? Now, Dei isn’t always the best person to talk too, since he’s young lol.. but He’s a good listener and comforter. If he sees that Itachi is having some problems, he doesn’t force him to tell him about it, instead he sits by his side with a hand on his back which just means “whatever it may be, I’ll be here for you.” Itachi greatly appreciates this, much more than spilling out his feelings just like that.

Eventually, this lead to an on and off relationship between the two. Only because both were extremely busy and Deidara has... uh commitment issues and commitment scares him. Itachi understands, he knows Dei’s feelings towards him are genuine and is more than willing to wait until Dei is ready to be more serious. 

Despite their relationship being more relaxed, the two don't actively seek out other people. They both have something the other needs.

i’ll add stuff about the other characters, cough konoha 11 and the rest of the akatsuki cough, later because this au is still a major wip... and was created impusively. 

[cosmicak]

Crush - HidaDei Gift

This is for Sophie or @squipwich for the @akatsuki-gift-exchange !! I really hope you like it! It’s the longest thing I’ve ever written for fun and I had a great time writing it 💖 Happy Holidays Sophie~

This’ll also be on Ao3 (username: Cosmica) just in case Tumblr decides it’s too impure for its good Christian neighbourhood ❤️

Pairing: HidaDei

Words: 2,072

Written in Deidara’s POV as I saw he was listed as your first fave 💥

Contrary to popular belief, Hidan does not sleep naked.

Which is what Deidara discovered when he was sent on his first mission with the devout jashinist. Sasori having had been killed a few months prior by a certain pink haired kunoichi and Kakuzu being occupied with his budgeting for the Month. The two had been sent off on their journey to find and eliminate a mole of Akatsuki that had turned snitch.

Deidara wasn’t so sure why his brain thought this information was so crucial to remember. Maybe he was just going insane with the constant berating Hidan did when his original partner was brought up in conversation, or how many times he had to hear about god damn Jashin and how utterly amazing Hidan’s stupid religion was.

God, he needed a drink.

“How far along is the next village, hmm?”

“I don’t fucking know you have the damn map, don’t you?”

Oh, right .

Checking the map as he pulled it out from his cloak, he noticed the weren’t that far from the land of Lightning’s border, noting a small village residing right between the countries. Perfect.

“It’s getting dark, so next village can we get a room at an Inn? We need to report to Leader-sama of this guys whereabouts, hmm” He proposed to his traveling partner, looking over the map with his visible eye, looking at Hidan’s back. The older man turned, walking backwards as he contemplated his reply, fingers holding his chin.

“Why don’t we just camp out instead of risking our asses getting caught by lightning country shinobi? I’d love to sacrifice a few of those fucks to Jashin but right now I could go for a fucking nap” Hidan further emphasised his point by yawning loudly and stretching, making Deidara sigh, he hated camping, he’d be picking bugs and whatever else out of his hair for days. Deidara shrugged, putting the map away as Hidan rolled his magenta eyes and turned back around, fingers sinking into his silver hair as he ran his hand through it to flatten it back to his original style, grumbling about the wind. This was when he started noticing little things about the man traveling with him. How the ends of his slicked back hair curled up slightly as he ran his hand over them, the gel must of come off and the scars on his hand from he was assuming the aftermath of one of his stupid rituals, making them look rough and intimidating- Deidara paused for a moment.

Why the hell was he..admiring Hidan?

The blond frowned, he had never admired anyone from the Akatsuki before. Not that there really was anyone to admire, Itachi was a bastard and Deidara would rather loose is arm to Zetsu than touch Itachi with a ten foot pole. Kisame, body wise, wasn’t that bad looking but his blue skin and shark like eyes threw Deidara off. Kakuzu was just..Old and very greedy, and Deidara thought back to when he’d been told about what he’d done to his..previous partners. Sasori was dead. The remaining Akatsuki, Deidara thought, were just too damn weird. Deidara knew he had never really been into women like most men are, but he’s never been with a man either.

Deidara’s thoughts were interrupted by a loud yelling.

“What the fuck has gotten into you? Oi blondie! why have you stopped fucking walking? Let’s go!” He heard his partner say, suddenly breaking away from his thoughts of sexuality, seeing the man in question. Waving his hand in front of his face, eyes narrowed and mouth set in a frown. Deidara slapped his hand away gently and averted his eyes from looking into the others, filled with frustration.

“I was just thinking about the mission, hmm” He replied, arms crossed as to emphasise his point. From the corner of his eye, he sees Hidan smirk, Deidara knew he should not have found that, or anything attractive, about the man in front of him.

“Then do you want to explain to me why the fuck your face is red eh?” Hidan teased, finger poking at Deidara’s cheek, making the blond scowl, brow furrowing at the action. He slapped his hand away harder this time and resumed walking, hiding his red face behind his long fringe. Hearing the footfall of the other behind him catching up, Deidara shoved his hand into his clay pouch, trying to occupy himself with making one of his masterful creations. Instead of looking at the man who was getting him so worked up. He saw from the corner of his eye as Hidan came into step beside him, the immortals mocking gaze still on him. Deidara thinks he could see why Kakuzu wanted to strangle his partner so much. ________________________________________________________________________________

Deidara had come to the conclusion that maybe camping wouldn’t have been such a bad idea, he could have gone for a walk.

After his embarrassing encounter on their walk to the small village they currently reside in, Hidan did nothing but stare at him with a shit eating grin, occasionally making crude remarks about how the younger man had been flustered and how fucking hilarious it was. Not long after that Deidara had sent the immortal flying into a tree with one of his creations.

No regrets, the blond smirked to himself.

They had entered the inn and demanded a room, the sultry woman behind the desk gave Hidan the key and gave him a wink. Deidara noticed how she pushed her bosom forward, trying to seduce the man beside him. He watched as Hidan waved his hand as thanks before walking away from the desk, Deidara quickly followed suit.

As they got to their room for the night, Deidara noticed there was only one bed, which wasn’t unusual for shady inns like the one they were currently in and being in the Akatsuki, you usually shared a bed during missions like this, but Deidara had never shared a bed with his former partner as.. Well.

Sasori didn’t really need to sleep.

He watched as Hidan placed his scythe against the one desk and unzipped his cloak, throwing it into the chair next to his scythe. Deidara took his own cloak off, neatly putting it on the small hanger next to the entrance, leaving him in his cropped shirt and Akatsuki issued pants. Putting his bags of clay aside, he stretched, the satisfyingly pop coming from his back. Just as he let his hands fall to his side, Hidan had fallen onto the bed, a loud sigh coming from him as Hidan pulled himself up to rest his head on the pillow. Deidara went through his options, he could sleep in the bed with the older man, or he could take the couch which looked like it would likely collapse under his own weight. Deidara quickly made his choice and walked over to the bed, sitting on the edge. Before he could take a moment to relax he felt a weight suddenly come onto his back, pale scarred arm coming into view from behind and locking around his neck.

Deidara screeched as he felt knuckles rubbing roughly against his scalp, struggling in the hold of the man behind him.

“Hidan! You bastard, let me go, hmm!” The younger man cried out, hearing the Jashinist behind him cackle as he let go. Deidara’s head snapped to look at Hidan and his shit eating grin.

“That’s what you fucking get for fucking blowing me into a tree you fuck” he mocked, grin twisting into a smirk which made Deidara’s heart skip a beat. Deidara sneered and got up, hands already fixing what mess Hidan had made of his hair. Oh, He was going to pay for that.

“I’m going to get food, I’m fucking starving” his roommate declared as he arose from the bed. Deidara grumbled a reply and let his hair down from its high ponytail.

“Get me something too- wait, do you even have any money, Hidan, hmm?” Enquired Deidara, pushing his long hair behind his shoulder, he saw Hidan reach into the pocket of his cloak, pulling out a small coin purse, shoving it into the pocket of his pants before grabbing his scythe.

“Eat a dick, just because Kakuzu fucking hoards his own money doesn’t mean I don’t have my own, you think that fuckface buys me food?” Hidan retorted, strapping his scythe to his back, the strap resting across his lean, muscular torso. Deidara could appreciate the sight for just a moment before he realised he needed to reply to the man across from him. Deidara shrugged as he watched Hidan walk to the door, slipping his shoes on.

“I’ll get us some shitty ramen or whatever, I’ll be back soon” He yelled over his shoulder before exiting, leaving Deidara alone in the shady room. Deidara sighed and ran his hands down his face, letting out a long groan as he sat down on the bed, letting himself fall back, looking up at the cracked ceiling. He supposed Hidan wasn’t the worst person you could have a crush on out of all of the current members of Akatsuki.

__________________________________________________________________________________

When Hidan returned that night, Deidara almost puked when he turned covered in blood and his stomach slashed open, and his right arm holding his left arm which was carrying their dinner. Lovely.

Hidan’s stomach seemed to heal itself which was a relief to Deidara, but he was then tasked with stitching Hidan’s arm to his shoulder. After they ate their really shitty ramen, Deidara sat Hidan down on the bed and sat cross legged next to him, needle and thread in hand as he tried stitching the arm back on. Deidara was horrible at stitching, both clothes and body parts alike.

“Deidara, what the fuck are you doing? Fuck, you’re so slow” The man beside him groaned, head back, exposing his muscular neck as he swallowed, Adam’s apple bobbing. Which was something Deidara appreciated, he had stitched the arm together on the outside half but yet still needed to stitch just above his armpit. Deidara lifted the arm up so he could stitch the inside of his arm together , eyes drifting back to admire the other man once again. How his sharp jaw led down to a strong neck and broad shoulders, chest covered in numerous scars from self harming during his rituals along with his signature Jashinist rosary, lean torso leading down to his silver happy trail and v-line-

“Like what you see eh?” He heard the man he was blatantly admiring tease, Deidara’s eyes snapped up to see Hidan’s face not only looking directly at him but he had gotten much closer. Deidara shouted in surprise and fell back, falling onto the floor, and as he’d been stitching his arm back on, Hidan fell with him. Hidan’s one intact arm was holding him up while his haphazardly stitched arm was limp in Deidara’s hand, legs spread wide as Hidan’s hips rest against his.

Deidara’s mind went blank, all he could focus on was the feeling of Hidan’s breath fanning on his face and how close he was. The weight of Hidan’s hips against his own, the feeling was addicting- that was until Hidan’s damned rosary poked him in the eye, pulling him from his fantasy and into real life once more. Deidara sat up and lent back on his one free arm, his face directly facing Hidan’s much more perplexed looking one, for once he wasn’t arrogant but more curious if anything. Deidara was about to make a sarcastic remark about if Kakuzu was usually in his role until he felt a pair of rough lips on his own. Deidara’s azure eyes widened, the grip on Hidan’s limp arm tightened as he watched Hidan’s eyes sink, barely open look into his own. Deidara took a leaf of faith and kissed the immortal back, dropping the useless arm to wrap a hand around the back of the other’s neck. The two losing themselves into the tender kiss.

As Deidara felt Hidan part for air shortly later he couldn’t help but notice the light pink settling on his cheeks, watching Hidan lick his lips and run his fingers through his slicked back silver hair, the blond couldn’t help but think that Sasori dying was the best thing that ever happened to him in the 19 years he had been alive.

[whisper-of-a-screech]

Hi hello yes did someone say ~modern naruto au shit~ No. No one did. Here you are anyway go wild my friends Sakura: • freshman (high school) • straight A’s • honors student • booksmarts • distant and demanding parents • ‘perfect daughter’ facade • boiling issues of inadequacy • and anxiety • and anger • oh yeah and self esteem • fierce like you wouldn’t BELIEVE • Bisaster but hides it Sasuke: • freshman (high school) • second son of the region’s police chief • mom is a lawyer • looks up to his older genius (slightly mentally unstable) brother • but there’s always the niggling sense of ‘I’ll never measure up’ • good grades • but his parents are always busy • and his brother already hit all those top marks • so it’s nothing special, huh • also a Bisaster and gets flustered sometimes Naruto: • freshman (high school) • half feral • no one knows how he got into high school • frequently claims he was raised by a pack of dogs and/or his foster brother (Kakashi) • bad grades • Art Kid™ • loves paint • spray paint especially • Bisaster and doesn’t bother to hide it • ace • crushing on Kiba Kiba: • freshman (high school) • wild child • mom owns a vet clinic • everyone in his family owns a dog • bad grades • rough and tumble • wrestles for fun • probably in a gang • leather jackets • no one knows if he dyes his cheeks or if he actually got tattoos or what • plot twist his mom also runs a tattoo parlor • but his sister does hardcore YouTube makeup tutorials • it’s anyone’s guess Hinata: • freshman (high school) • shy kid • trying hard but average grades • first daughter of the next region over’s police chief • under crazy pressure • stutters • oversized sweaters • genetic eye thing? • feels inferior to her younger sister • wanted to be rebellious so she tried to dye her hair • but couldn’t make herself do anything more obvious than dark blue Shino: • freshman (high school) • quiet • rumors that he’s mute • sunglasses • oversized coat • plot twist he’s covered in bug bites because he lets mosquitos suck his blood • his family is beekeepers / bug-breeders / ? • likes catching fireflies but always lets them go quickly • average grades • makes a game of how many bugs he can sneak into his pockets before the teachers notice Ino: • freshman (high school) • popular girl • good grades • gossipy but good with secrets • croptops • dad is a reporter / interviewer after retiring from ~secret agency~ • friends with everyone • knows how to cook • good at board games • crazy good at painting nails Shikamaru: • freshman (high school) • probably narcoleptic • sleeps in class • bad grades • good at board games • conspiracy theorist™ • his room is covered in bulletin boards • with pinned newspaper clippings and red string • plot twist his dad has even bigger bulletin boards • and even more newspaper clippings / red string Chouji: • freshman (high school) • loves to cook • parents run a bakery and a restaurant respectively • average grades • good at board games • him and Kiba are in the same boat with the tattoo / dye / makeup mystery • but surely sweet Chouji would never get tattoos • no • never • (plot twist Kiba’s are makeup and Chouji’s are tattoos) Tenten: • sophomore (high school) • confident • has a knife collection • father is a blacksmith / bladesmith • friendly • good grades • no mom • oddly good at styling hair • plot twist it’s bc she does Neji’s Neji: • sophomore (high school) • straight A’s • honors student • Hinata’s cousin • dad died on duty with Hiashi • he blames Hiashi for it • genetic eye thing? • cool • distant • has plans to move in with Tenten after he hits eighteen Lee: • sophomore (high school) • straight A’s • Gai’s adopted son • hardworking • tired of ‘you don’t look alike’ comments • so now he and Gai look exactly alike • super emotional • will absolutely cry when he graduates • always gives 100% of his everything, for everything Itachi: • junior (college) • straight A’s • 4.0 gpa • Halloween Fanatic™ • blank expressions all the time • doesn’t talk often • ppl are always surprised when he does bc he sounds like he gargled a gravel driveway • plot twist it’s bc he’s a hardcore smoker • everyone knows the Uchiha all have this genetic cough/scratchy throat thing that usually comes in between the ages of 18 and 25 • except plot twist the Uchiha are all just chain-smokers • the ‘woke up like this’ kid • drinks matcha tea with his dango Kisame: • senior (college) • lots of tattoos (gills / blue-gray swirls / etc.) • dyes his hair blue • gets cold easy • wears ear warmers • hair doesn’t behave • had to file his teeth for a dare and now he scares all the freshies • polite • can down the blackest of coffee like water but doesn’t often • it’s an exam special • has seven (7) pet fish, two (2) pet snails and one (1) pet marimo algae ball • works at an aquarium • regularly ‘communes’ with the sharks • (he hums at them while they swim around) • but they seem to like him? • the staff is endlessly confused but like whatever floats your boat my guy Pein (Nagato): • senior (college) • philosophy major • blank and monotone • at least nine piercings • quiet but weirdly intense • is in some sort of Relationship™ with Konan • the only person allowed to call him Nagato is Konan • unless they want to wake up drugged in a ditch an inexplicable sixty miles from town covered in paper cuts Konan: • senior (college) • majors in Accounting and / or Management (business student) • somewhat less blank than Pein • has a few piercings of her own • is in some sort of Relationship™ with Pein • origami • never anything less than composed or pristine • badass • 100% of the time, just • badass Tobi: • senior (college) • speaks in third person • embraces his inner child • clumsy af • wears a phantom of the opera mask everywhere • no one knows / can remember his eye color • falls over a lot • trips up the stairs • extreme sweet tooth • likes juice boxes / goldfish / fruit snacks / etc. • roommates with Zetsu • they play go fish when neither can sleep • somehow good grades even though no one ever sees him in class • plot twist it’s bc he goes as Obito Zetsu: • junior (college) • completely lathers themself in water-resistant black and white paint every ~3 days • dyes their hair green • wears their botany project around • what ppl don’t know is that it’s a vampiric plant hybrid they bred specially to feed off blood • ‘i can’t go to her every time she needs to be fed, so i just bring her with me’ • wears contacts • spends most of their time in the greenhouse • doesn’t sleep • local cryptid • nb • ‘any pronouns but she’ • no one ever sees them eat Deidara: • freshman (college) • spends 2.2 hours on his hair and almost a fifth of his budget on hair products • band kid • eyeliner • makeup expert • he collabs with Hana for some YouTube makeup tutorials • drums • unexpectedly good singer • loves fireworks • makes his own fireworks • 4th of July is his favorite holiday • accidentally made a kiln bomb as a kid and now he explodes things as often as possible • enjoys sculpting clay figures for raku pottery with air bubbles so they explode when heated • hates coffee with PASSION • but still visits Sasori’s favorite cafe with him • not that he ASKS but it’s always nice to have company right? • right Sasori: • senior (college) • 21 but ppl think he’s 18 • he’s got a hella baby face • Art Kid™ • enjoys woodworking • and occasionally leather-crafting • dorm room is covered in puppets • human puppets / doll puppets / animal puppets • super good puppeteer • could do his entire show with his eyes closed • tutors Kankurou • once took an archery class and can hit dead center 95% of the time • can sleep with his eyes open • can also sleep standing up • he utilizes both these skills often • everyone thinks he’s a stoic bastard • and he is but also it’s mostly because he keeps falling asleep during conversations • dyes his hair red Kakuzu: • senior (college) • no one knows how long he’s been a senior • he’s not in debt • no student loans • no one knows how he’s doing it • plot twist it’s bc he’s filthy rich from scamming half the students in his freshman year oh so long ago • but he’s stingy and miserly and still lives off instant ramen and cereal • has like three PhDs • he’s working on his fourth • his blood is coffee at this point • he wears a face mask to hide the tattoos he got on a dare as a dumb teenager • has reading glasses but never uses them • green eyes but they’re so bloodshot he looks permanently high when instead he’s averaging 1.5 hours of sleep per night • rents his place out to other college students • he gouges them and they complain but it’s still cheaper than the dorms Hidan: • senior (college) • held back three years in high school • disappears every Sunday • says he was at ‘church’ but no one’s heard of a Jashinist church before much less one in the area • wears contacts • bleached his hair on a dare and liked it so he keeps doing it • regularly / ritually paints his face / chest / arms every Sunday for ‘church’ • prays four times a day on every sixth hour (5 am, 11 am, 5 pm, 11 pm) • has a religious exemption from class for 15 minutes at 11 am to pray • plot twist the only reason he got it is because he prays whether he has it or not and the professor got sick of him loudly and passive-aggressively reciting his prayers over the lecture • always carries his rosary • smokes occasionally • but has a Thing abt hygiene • his teeth are infuriatingly white