#my relationship with him has fucked me up emotionally more than like anyone else ever barring maybe the girl who broke my heart sophomore

[septemberpdf]

my stomach hurts

[vaguely-concerned]

listen I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore but on this playthrough of DA2 I found myself once more entranced and heartbroken to see hawke reenact their relationship with their mother with the entire cursed city of kirkwall. you can never do enough for leandra, and you can never do enough for kirkwall. leandra is proud of you, and kirkwall uplifts its champion, but no matter how hard you try for them you can't fix everything there that's broken, no one could, and even the fact that anyone would feel the burning responsibility to take that task on is a huge warning sign on its own. leandra will easily allow you to sacrifice yourself on the altar of the family's continued well-being again and again, even when she'll beg you to spare the twins from the same thing. it's such a sad, painfully realistic thing because I truly don't think leandra meant to fuck up her kids, and yet she primed her oldest for an abusive toxic codependent relationship with an entire ongoing dumpster fire of a city state better than she ever could have if she had meant to.

I think what leandra actually, deep down wants from you is something you can never ever give her and that is cruel to ask of anyone, but especially your kid -- to bring her back to a time when she was happy. to reclaim when you were all happy, when nothing was broken that couldn't be fixed, before malcolm died, before you had to leave behind bethany or carver's broken body on the ground. to get her childhood back from where she left it and found it all gone and in ruins when she returned. 'this is all your fault'. this is the tragedy of parenthood sometimes I think, that capacity to define a life: she said that once, in a moment of profound pain, and she probably wouldn't have said it under other circumstances and she apologizes later, but now hawke has to live with that forever. leandra can't bear her own emotions without letting them spill over onto someone else so she won't have to hold the discomfort of them anymore, and hawke is left to shoulder that burden and responsibility again and again, handed the impossible task of making it all okay again, somehow -- of stopping anything bad from ever happening again in the Nr 1 Bad Things Constantly Happening capital of thedas.

and then at the same time there's the mirror of how varric's whole family wants orzammar back (and to him orzammar is just a ghost he's seen in their eyes -- there's something in his voice when he says 'That stupid plate was the whole city of Orzammar to him' that gets me every time, how much he understands that he doesn't understand and how lonely that makes him among them, and on top of it all he's frustrated and ashamed and sad that he just doesn't get it and can't meet them on it -- like it's a betrayal that he actually belongs up here, when varric wants so badly to be loyal), just as the hawkes want happiness back. (I don't think it's Lothering in itself that longing is for, it's for being together. Lothering was just the place they stayed the longest.) they're all in exile, even as they try to make a new home out of that exile.

(varric and hawke's real 🤝 quality across all personalities, affinities and choices is 'parentified child' lmao. so much of varric's character makes perfect sense once you know he grew up supporting a mother who was an emotionally volatile alcoholic, honestly. between varric, the hawkes, isabela, seb if you have him and merrill's whole Situation with marethari I feel like DA2 covertly is to mommy issues what ME2 is to daddy issues fjsdjfa)

basically I think I'm trying to pick apart exactly why the fact that leandra is clearly proud of hawke and tells them so several times doesn't feel like it helps at all, almost feels more like a cage even though it's clearly meant well? and what I'm getting is that it's because my sense of what hawke actually needs, in general but especially from a parent, isn't admiration or approval but to be loved and supported and understood. I don't believe leandra ever quite understands them, and it scares her because it makes her think she maybe never even understood malcolm. (that's the subtext of a lot of what leandra will say about him in legacy, at least. he's slipping away from her as the years pass after his death and she fears she never really had him in the first place, if he had secrets like these.) she consistently treats her oldest more like a partner or peer than as her child, which considering hawke is always described as being very similar to their father… I mean I totally see how that could be easy to slip into for her after he died especially, but it doesn't make it any less fucked up or unfair.

the real leandra in legacy is. she is SO absurdly self-centered, if you really pay attention. I don't want to keep dunking on her because I don't think she's like this on purpose, but it boggles my mind. if you do the quest in act 1 she gets so upset and overwhelmed that the kids just sort of sit there like :( at the end, which adds to the trend that through the game you constantly see hawke comforting leandra, and you pretty much never see leandra comforting hawke, beyond some light vaguely encouraging comments in passing. if you do legacy in act 2 while she's still alive hawke comes to her, tentatively asking if malcolm ever spoke to her about any of it -- clearly requesting some sort of emotional support or help to make sense of it. she then expresses her side of it, but never once does she say anything to the effect of 'hey that was a lot to go through, are you okay after all that?'.

instead she essentially hands them the responsibility of having a good life, to repay what malcolm did for all of them. and in theory that's not the worst takeaway I suppose, malcolm probably would want them all to be happy, but in the moment it only feels like more expectation heaped upon you somehow? especially since you don't really get to express anything about how it made you feel before she goes to the 'ah no use complaining' zone (after SHE got to express her grief at feeling like she's losing more and more of that old life, and hawke barely got to say anything fhsfalkjfs). in general she really doesn't do much like. parenting, does she haha. there is so much love there in that relationship, and yet so little comfort. Oh, those days. All of us, in that simple place. Well, that's neither here nor there, is it. This life, we have to make the best of it. And thanks to you, and him, I will. Oh well, mum, I'm uh. I'm glad you feel better after that, at least. Nice to be of service.

it's varric's ghost-leandra who actually acknowledges what a burden hawke has taken on, that shows an understanding of why they're doing it, acknowledges the loss they've been through and also reassures them in their sense of belonging that still can't be taken from them, despite it all -- The best of him is still with you. The best of all of us. It's what makes you try so hard. You'll always have that. We'll always be family. (you can't take 'loved' away, huh.) you get a bit more of a reconciliation/reconnection between hawke and their dad's memory by being reminded he got like this too, you know (implicitly you're not alone). varric through leandra is the one who tells them what they probably would have wanted and needed to hear from a parent right then -- It's going to be alright. that's what Hawke, The Champion means to everyone else, and for once they get to be the one to hear it. except only in a kind dream that never really happened. I. it. hmmmmmm. crushing. that is crushing. but also so incredibly tender from varric's side, and so moving to me that he's seen all this stuff and so desperately wants to give them that comfort. anyway DA2 is about love in some of the realest and thus messiest and most human ways I've ever seen and it makes my brain go wild it's my favorite game of all time goodnight

[spinecouture]

book of carol spoilers inside

FIRST AND FOREMOST: this is my opinion. you don't have to like it. this is a very opinion heavy post, with jabs at the writers and even some at norman (sorry pookie).

here is my issue with daryl kissing isabelle. or really anyone for that matter: it completely disregards and contradicts his character he has spent over a decade building. going as far back as the beginning of season three, when carol makes that joke "wanna screw around?" after he helped with her shoulder. daryl shows discomfort and despite not explicitly saying no, he clearly is not interested in getting busy with anyone.

i'm not even against caryl shippers. if you want them to kiss, cute. connie? adorable. but there is a reason daryl hasn't ever made a move on them, or anyone. even when carol pushes for daryl to ask connie to dance, daryl doesn't explicitly say he doesn't want to, just that he had work to do.

another glaring detail: the words 'i love you' do not leave daryl's mouth until the very end of the walking dead. he has known carol for years, and we only hear it once. that's not to say daryl doesn't love anyone, because clearly he does. but it's about trust. this man is heavily emotionally damaged, far before the outbreak. trusting someone enough to show vulnerability is an ongoing theme for daryl. you see him slowly become more comfortable with things like physical touch, comfort, forgiveness, over the seasons. but never, ever, does he feel like he can be romantic with anyone.

the only time this changes, is in season 10, when we find out about leah. i refuse to dwell on her as a character for a long time, as i simply dislike how they wrote her and her relationship with daryl. but i will say, he killed that woman without a single ounce of hesitation to save maggie, and we barely hear about her again after. overall, his arc with leah comes off forced, rushed and honestly? a way for the writers to prove daryl fucks.

it definitely feels like these writers in the spinoff read a small bio of daryl's character, saw how the audience foamed at the mouth for him and ran with it. and norman isn't off the hook, either. he knows this character, lives and breathes this character. so why would you change so much after years of perfecting him?

those are just a few reasons a romantic relationship between isabelle and daryl does not make sense, subtracting the obvious distaste me and many other viewers have for her as a character. the way they have written this nun as a character is not bad, persay. the issue comes in when you throw her at daryl, a man who woke up a million miles away from his family, who already hated that he was leaving anyway, and has never shown an ounce of comfort towards anything romantic besides leah (who was low-key a bitch anyway???).

now, i want to make it clear that i have not watched all of the book of carol leaks, and probably won't. i will more than likely read reviews and articles, watch some clips and come to my own conclusions. these twd spinoffs in general kinda piss me off, but that's a topic for another time. i think it is entirely possible this kiss between him and isabelle is something of a goodbye kiss, a thank you kiss, or something else. i think it could make sense to write it as him being exhausted and lonely, missing his family that he's not 100% certain will be there when he gets back, and he kisses her impulsively. it doesn't feel like something daryl would do, but that would be better than him deciding he loves her and wants to be with her...

i dunno. i don't even wanna get into what norman said about beth because that is so problematic and confusing i don't even wanna acknowledge it.

feel free to share your thoughts or call me a psycho for writing all of this .

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for slowly ghosting a fwb instead of confronting him when I found out he's been stalking people again?

He (twenties, M) and I (twenties, X) knew each other from college. He's genuinely a fun guy. Also, a cis person being into you as a nonbinary person (as your gender, not despite it) in a non-fetishy way is frankly too powerful. So yeah, we started talking more some time after graduation, and it turned into a digital-only friends-with-benefits situation.

I was wary of him in college, but willing to give him a second chance. It was an open secret among our friend group that he'd stalked a couple of people he was into in college -- resulting in court ordered therapy and a restraining order and everything. I was still mentally/emotionally recovering from an abusive relationship years prior that the ex stalked me after for a few years. So you can see why it was a big deal that I gave this distant friend another chance, willing to get as close to him as I did. I guess I thought that like, the therapy had worked?

Well, fast forward to us being close after college. He doesn't know that I know about his previous two times getting nearly expelled for stalking people. I have not told him anything about my years-ago abusive relationship, but it's possible he has some awareness of it due to mutual friends. I kept firm with a boundary that he will have no more specific geographic information about me than my city, and he's certainly never learning my address. He has no way to know about my more "personal" social media like Tumblr. I am protecting myself.

But a few months into us being fwb and having fun and me repeatedly asserting my boundaries regarding irl interaction. He complains to me that someone is claiming that he's stalking them. I casually ask about the situation, assert that yeah what he's doing is shitty, he should stop, and it does sound like stalking (even though he insists it isn't). We never talk about it again.

He started showing up in my trauma nightmares, and suddenly the second chance I gave him seems like a terrible idea. So, over the next few months, I make a planned retreat. I respond less frequently, less promptly, and with less emotion. I planned out my strategy by the week to look like a natural loss of interest, or a natural "got busy with other stuff."

My logic is that he clearly has not learned to stop stalking people. I am not willing to continue exposing myself to that personal risk. But I am also not willing to say "I refuse to remain friends with an unrepentant stalker." I'm afraid that if I do that, he will get the wrong lesson: that he needs to never admit to any other friend what he's done, or else he'll lose them. The right lesson obviously would be: don't follow people to their houses after they've cut contact and don't send them letters asking whether they're living alone again yet, what the fuck. I am afraid that if I tell him why I'm ghosting, he will simply never talk about this pattern ever again, thus removing the ability of future friends like me to make informed decisions about who they're spending their time with.

We're now one year into when I fully ended contact. I did not block him. I still get two texts a week from him -- sometimes "are you okay" sometimes life updates, usually just "hey". He has made no indications that he has visited the city where I live, thank god. I have not explained to any of our mutual friends what I did. I have not talked to anyone, not my therapist not my spouse, about what I did. I am not going to speak to him again, but I am not going to block him, because I need my cutting contact to look natural.

So yeah. AITA for not making a bigger deal of his continued stalking of other people? In my mind I'm protecting myself, and reducing the likelihood he'll start hiding his nature from future friends, so this way they can be informed and protect themselves as needed. But AITA for lowkey ghosting him instead of having a serious conversation about his behavior? I know he sucks. I just don't know if I also suck.

What are these acronyms?

[antiv3nom]

Tell me something about Sin that you've been dying to type a bunch of paragraphs about!!

THANKS FOR THE ASK SOL !!!!!!!!

okay so a joke i frequenly make about sin but have genuine feelings about is that, despite being raised by sol "what are feelings?" badguy, sin ended up being SO emotionally intelligent. like sol would not have ever had any sort of conversations regarding fuckin empathy or the like with sin, he was too busy TYING THE KID TO A TREE when he was busy, yk? (dont have enough time to dig into all of my feelings on sin's upbringing lmao, i could write a whole different essay about that)

ANYWAYS! yeah. sin has a lot of issues in overture, and he feels...like he's full of a lot of rage and resentment over a lot of things. i can't entirely speak on everything as i still have yet to watch a playthrough of the entirety of overture (i know what happens! i just havent seen all of the nitty-gritty interactions with him and others) but i know that he's got a lot more rage in him then he does in xrd. which of course makes sense, since he's still in the process of understanding and eventually re-accepting ky, and he's gotta interact a lot with him on a personal level in overture, notably without dizzy to mediate, which i personally think is likely how things went down before she was frozen.

anyways i wanna move onto xrd because i have a lot of feelings about him in sign, STARTING with his conversation with sol at one point. he's just got out after talking with ram for the first time, and sol is telling him to give it up and sin recognizes this for exactly what it is, that sol is showing his own lack of trust and actively choosing not to follow him in this, and while after this is pointed out sol worries that he's trying to turn sin into him, ky is actually the one to recognize that sin understands him at his core. i mean, of course. sin's spent probably more time with sol than he's spent with anyone else, and i find it interesting that he came out of that, not being cold and callous like sol has become, but the absolute opposite. i think he trained himself to be almost the opposite of sol, to be able to see through the walls that his guardian puts up and really understand a lot of what he's getting at. it makes a lot of sense, honestly!

i'd also like to bring up a line that he says earlier in sign, which is, "my heart always has been, and will be, open to all" and i think the real thing that cements this being absolutely TRUE is that it's towards elphelt, almost immediately after being told directly by elphelt that she's quote unquote "hot shit" akin to ram. look if he was the same person as his father or his extra father he'd be worried! but he's NOT! he very much is the type of person to trust in a person and that's important! because without that they never would have worked with elphelt to the degree they did, they never would have tried to save her and thus figured out fucking EVERYTHING with rev, they never would have gotten ramlethal as an ally, none of it! because sin had trust in them and took the time and energy to pay attention to them and try to actually emotionally connect with them, and he was a big part of the reason that ramlethal realized she had feelings!!!! fuck!!!!!!! hes integral to the plot because he is inherently kind!!!!!!!!!!!!!

also fuck. fucking hell his relationship with ky. again. i could write a whole different essay on this and it WILL be covered in bread fic which yes will be updated i swear it. anyways. it takes a lot to willingly accept an effort to repair a relationship and put in effort yourself. and it takes MORE to realize the other side of the situation, especially when it's familial. i just. fuck dude. sin cares so much about his mother and through that finds a new path of caring about his own father whom he hated for almost all of his life. fuck dude. he called him dad. he called him dad. i cannot stress enough how much it fucked me up the first time i saw that scene i was crying in public about it i love them so fucking much dude. so much.

anyways this is a big old ramble but fuck sin gets narrowed down to "haha stupid large child who eats a lot" by a lot of people and i think more of us should recognize that while yes he is a 5 year old who looks jacked and yes he does have the funny eat move, he is also an incredibly kind and emotionally mature character

[cr1mson5returns]

my fav version of tim drake is similar to the post of yours that made me follow you

my fav tim drake is that time he got an uncle to avoid adoption taken to the extreme. hes never been robin, not a bat, but he does follow them on patrol taking pics and occasionally intervening and they cant quite manage to stop him. hes dick grayson's nemesis because he no matter where he is, all he can think about is finally getting that kid to sit down and eat a proper meal and take a nap. jason comes back from the dead and tim has been deterring batman from violence with a squirt gun instead of a robin and jason almost hates him more for it. damian thinks he is an excellent operative, held in high esteem by his grandfather, and at first tim doesn't know what to make of that but then starts putting him to use for shenanigans. you get the idea

Oh, God, but Tim maintaining a professional relationship with Ra's al Ghul is everything I've ever desired? This weird old undead motherfucker is constantly bugging him about joining up and being his right-hand man and conquering the unruly world together and bringing peace and justice once and for all, blah blah blah, but Tim just isn't interested in that. Sounds like a lot of responsibility to have at his age, frankly. He's good just calling in the occasional favor and redirecting Batman's fury with the League of Assassins.

Also, like...I've officially started tagging these things "morally gray tim drake has my heart" because he does, y'all. He does! I do so very much enjoy the interpretation of Tim Drake as a morally gray character regardless of age (but especially in the Red Robin run) and I do think it's a valid way lens through which to see him.

The thing that makes Tim stand out to me is this undercurrent of tone to everything he does which implies that he views himself as inconsequential to the narrative. I might be in the minority here and that's fine(ish), but I've always thought about what would drive an emotionally abused and neglected 13-year-old child to try everything in his power to save his hero from killing himself and/or becoming public enemy #1. And maybe I'm projecting, but it always seems to come back to: "Well, I don't trust anyone else to be capable of doing it." He tried to talk to Dick, and Dick wouldn't take Robin back up, but Nightwing wasn't what Batman needed. And sure, they could've waffled about and tried to find someone else to be Robin. But Tim was right there and in the absence of anyone else he felt was qualified to do it, he just...did it.

Tim sees Batman (and Nightwing and Robin by extension) as being so incredibly significant to the overarching narrative. He knows that Batman doesn't really reduce crime, not in a city with local politics as corrupt as Gotham. He knows that it doesn't functionally matter if Batman gets this guy and not that guy, because it all shakes out the same. When there's a huge crisis, when Gotham City needs a symbol of everything that's still good here, still worth saving, Batman shows up and saves the day. Batman isn't allowed to succumb to human flaws like grief, despair, and outrage. People need him to mean more than that. Tim will do whatever it takes to secure and maintain that almost otherworldly level of heroism for Batman. If it gets him dirty in the process, he doesn't mind. Tim Drake won't be remembered. Batman will.

Of course, this is also why I think it's so fucking funny that Tim is at a point where he's just throwing death wish ideas at a wall until something sticks and hollering at the universe, "JUST KILL ME ALREADY!!!!"

[lyramundana]

Since @whatudowhennooneseesyou wants more and I’m a people pleaser, here’s another version, again based on another convo we had. 

This time is about my man, the icon, love of my life and the only person that makes me want to have children. His children only. My bias and the reason I got into Stray Kids. 

Christopher Bang

Now here’s the thing:

This man is a fuckboy. That much it’s obvious. Just look at his interactions with Stay and his messages on bubble. Not to mention he’s an aussie (and a former eshay) this men are the definition of “danger”, For fuck’s sake, his nickname among friends was “Mr Steal your girl”, which fits perfectly with a Libra’s description because that’s what they usually do: Stealing girls (and make anyone question their sexuality). 

Now there’s a wrongly extended misconception that fuckboys have to be “cold, sarcastic, too-cool-for-love type” type of dudes. That they go around wearing leather jackets, riding motorcycles and spend their days fucking everything that moves. But this isn’t it. A fuckboy is simply a man that gets off from being desired and having the people he wants at his mercy, specifically in bed. There’s not a settled manual of dressing and general behaviour to be one, the name says it all: A boy who fucks. Easy. 

Christopher it’s exactly that. He fools us with his good boy persona, acting all shy with pick-up lines but still fishing out for more. Showing off his muscles at every single opportunity he has (like that one concert where the members went to lift his shirt and he just let them, putting his hands behind his neck in surrender), but if you pay close attention, he doesn’t really hide his fuckboyish manners. I can’t explain it, but there’s something in his attitude, the way he speaks sometimes and acts, that screams “i make girls orgasm every week to relax”. 

“Does that mean I’m your daddy? MOvIng oN”

“You know what else is big?”

“Say please”

Do you need any more proof? I think not. Now back to my delulu intepretation of him:

Christopher is the type of bf that would feel that he must be the "caregiver" of the relationship. He's the one who leads, who provides, who looks after you. That's his role and you shouldn't ever take that away from him. You can take care of him for a change sometimes because he also needs some coddling and attention, but most of the time, he's in charge. I think raising his members by himself for so long has enhanced this side of him. He's very protective, very picky and a perfectionist, so his partner has to learn patience because this man can be mentally and emotionally exhausting for them.

In his toxic version, he's extremely controlling and possessive. He doesn't let you hang out with other boys, or anyone he doesn't approve of. He makes big decisions over your own life for you because "he knows what's best". He'll treat you more like an accessory that needs to look good on him rather than a person. In his mind, you belong to him and that's final. If gets hit on, he’ll accept it with zero regrets and may return the gesture. He’ll show it when he likes someone’s physically and may flirt with them, but you’re not allowed the same behaviour. He expects you to be always at his beck and call, but he’ll most likely never be completely loyal to you. Funny thing is that he truly believes he loves you and you should be grateful for all he does for you. He simply wants his partner to be the best version of themselves, and if that casually fits his standards of perfection, well, does it matter? Every single thing you do has to pass through him first. He’s the type to end fights with angry sex and call it “talking things out”. He’ll make sure you never move on from him. If you break up, he’ll be the ex that still calls you “his” and sabotages your love life. He’ll manipulate you to the point you’re totally dependant of him, his perfect delicate doll. Remember this guy is one perfectionist dude and he has very high standards, and as his partner, he expects you to meet at least some of them.

As a yandere, he’ll be pretty much the same, with the difference that he won’t look at anyone else and he’ll never be unfaithful. He’s a smooth motherfucker, and so he knows how to keep you with him subtitly without you noticing. He’ll isolate you from everyone else, planting seeds of suspicion in your mind and pushing you to overthink stuff and doubt everthing around you, becoming almost paranoid. He’ll deliberatly create situations than can be easily misunderstood so you come running to him for comfort, believing he was right all along, while he hugs you tightly and kisses your hair, smiling to himself at seeing you right where you’re supposed to be. He’ll use every dirty asshole trick during arguments to win. Gaslight, pulling out insecurities, emotional manipulation, everything. He’s mad at you for not behaving the way he wants to but he doesn’t want you to leave him either.  He’ll start fight with you with the twisted purpose of getting you to be vulnerable and having the excuse to put you in your place. He does everything for you and gets angry if you try to do stuff for him. Your autonomy is taken away and you can’t leave him. Ever. He has a way to make you feel so loved, so cared for, so desirable, that you won’t notice the darkness closing around you until it’s too late. 

As a normal person, he’s also territorial, but in a relatively healthy way. His caregiver complex is still off the roof tho. He feels like it's his duty (and also his joy) to take care of you and make sure you're content. This man, when he loves, he does wholeheartedly. He worships the ground you walk on, he sees you as a heaven sent angel just for him, he adores you and would give you the world if he could. He hates when you go to other people for comfort or advice, because in his eyes, who's gonna help you better than him? He lives off feeling needed, of having you rely on him. He doesn't let it get to the toxic point because he's mature like that, but there are times that he wishes he could hide you from the world and keep you to himself. If he's in a bad mood, the members know they only have to bring you where he is and suddenly it's all good. The bad mood might not always wear off, but at least he wouldn't snap at anyone if you're there.

He gets shy with other people's compliments, but with you? He pulls out the fuckboy manual. He loves to make you blush, push your body against him and whisper the most indecently, spiciest pick-up linea. Those wicked pick-up lines he's not allowed to use with Stay? You've heard all of them. His incessant need for control purrs when he has you all flustered and nervous under his hands, submitting for him. We treat it as a running joke but I truly believe this man is an Alpha in an alternative universe.

The type of bf to assert his claim over you by physical contact. Throwing an arm around your shoulders, grabbing you by the waist, pushing his hand in your lower back to guide you. He makes sure you're never far from him when you guys are out. Another dude staring at you too much? He moves right by your side or behind you to send him a message. He's another one that loves seeing you wearing his stuff. The type to place his coat/jacket on your legs or shoulders, not only to keep you warm, but also to mark you even further as his person.

Honestly most of your fights are because of his jealousy, because when it comes to other problems, he talks it out like a champ and communicates his feelings. The only thing that makes his blood boil is the idea of losing you, especially to someone else. He can't stand people getting close to what he considers his. Like I said, an Alpha.

If I don't stop here this post will never end. Feel free anyone to add your own opinion about the matter.

[variety-fangirl]

Ahhh hellooo!! Can I request a headcanon about what dating Jimmy would be like? Take as much time as u need xoxo

Authors note: decided to get this done before the others because it's short 😁 thank you for requesting my love! Hope you liked it 🫶. Thank you 🥺�� reblogging, commenting, and liking really helps me out. Thank you and enjoy!

Warnings: 18+ NO MINORS SHOO mention of sexual themes and swearing

Dating Jimmy Would Include:

Jimmy would be sweet and kind, only vulnerable and emotional around you because he trusts you deeply. But it took you a long time to bring that sound out of him, years maybe because he likes to act tough. Considering the line of work he's in, he has to appear strong and no nonsense.

He would act all tough around others, intimidating them to do as he asks. And then in private with you, he'd been all over you. He loves his girl more than anything. He would love to take you out on dates and just absolutely spoil you, even if you don't ask for anything, he would insist.

He would be intimacy starved, having just had one-night stands for most of his life. That when the first night you had made love, not fucked, he would be absolutely feral for you and obsessed with pleasing you. Though, he no doubt has a secret dom side, a bit kinky and probably a daddy kink. Jimmy would be a marker, leaving hickey's everywhere for everyone to see who you belong to.

You know this mother fucker has a big dick and he knows it too, cheeky bastard he screams big dick energy. He would be so cocky about it, he'd often comment in the bedroom about it. "You can take it, baby.", "Look at me stretching you out." with a shit-eating grin on his face the whole time.

He would be attentive and loving afterwards, making sure to take care of you. He'd gently use a warm washcloth to clean your sore sensitive pussy. He'd also run you a hot bath and carry you in there, Jimmy would end up washing you. He'd massage your scalp while washing your hair with shampoo, and even help you with any hair care steps you needed to do.

Showering and bathing together is a must, every time he'd hear you running the water he'd come running. "Shower or bath time?" with a smile. You would just laugh and tell him which one it was, and it would usually result in shower or bath sex before cleaning yourselves. He always found it very hard to keep his hands to himself when you are naked, and let's be real, he wouldn't really try to stop himself from touching you anyways.

The man has sta-min-a for daaaays. This bitch would have you spread wide, wetter than an ocean for hours as he switched between ruining your pussy for all other men (not that you would ever want anyone else) and making you feel like an absolute sex goddess that needs to be worshipped. Our man could go for hours and would give you so many orgasms.

He would be fiercely protective over you, always making sure you are safe and giving you everything your heart desires. You would not go without, that's for sure. Not even just materialistically but emotionally and physically in the relationship also. He would always have a lil jealous streak 🤏

Jimmy is a gentleman through and through for the woman he loves. This man would open car doors for you, open doors to buildings for you, make sure you don't walk on the side of the road (always inside), he would insist on paying the bill but let you if you really wanted to, and would always bring home flowers.

[amaryllis-sagitta]

DATV Varric spoilers

I saw spoilers regarding Varric's arc and...

I did not figure it out. I did not connect the dots before I spoiled it for myself.

On one side, learning about the conclusion is just perfectly emotionally devastating. They knew what they were doing when they made us develop this supportive, coaching relationship between Varric and Rook, giving Rook an opportunity to show vulnerability to someone who is also deeply vulnerable and compassionate.

But on the other hand, I can't help but think that the success of this twist relies on the technical and narrative failings of the entire game to some extent.

Companions vaguely speaking about Varric like he isn't there? This kind of vagueness that evades acknowledging things is ubiquitous in this game. I heard Teia say "when you died" right in Lucanis's face the other day. Sometimes Varric is mentioned in the past tense, something in the present. So maybe companions speaking strangely about Varric is just some editorial error.

Companions seemingly not noticing him in the library cutscene after the Minrathous/ Treviso choice? Characters in this game often fail to turn to each other properly. That scene was already struggling to get everyone in the frame and giving them a line to speak. Sure he got tired after walking down that staircase and having to go back with a brace on his leg.

One time Rook and Varric were talking and Varric said that Bianca was itching for action. "Bianca lies right there, shattered into pieces!" I shouted at the screen. STILL DIDN'T CONNECT THE DOTS.

But then, Varric supposedly is getting better, but he doesn't move around the Lighthouse. He stays stuck and complaning in the infirmary, talking to no-one else.

So, it took me a pretty straightforward spoiler to go back and have the realization.

What I really cannot believe about the twist isn't just the recurring NPCs failing to unambiguously acknowledge what happened. Though I feel we should have heard at least one "How is Varric doing, by the way?" from Maevaris, Dorian, anyone who met Harding and him in The Missing. He's been pottering about Tevinter throughout that issue. Even before that, since Knight Errant, he was involved in the (former?) Inquisition's endeavor of finding Solas. We definitely should have heard a "Where the FUCK is Varric" from the Inquisitor as they bring in the news of Kirkwall's fall.

But what really gets me is the companions failing to notice or acknowledge that Rook repeatedly goes off to the infirmary and has entire conversations with themselves in there. I refuse to believe Rook wouldn't slip once.

What if we had an entire arc for it: companions talking behind Rook's back, arguing on whether they should shake Rook up or leave it be until the situation becomes less perilous. The party has access to a professional necromancer and psychopomp. What if he could find a way for a wisp to take that image from Rook, to somehow instill it in the Lighthouse -- as a memory and as the biggest "fuck you" to Solas, to be eternally haunted by the visage of his dwarven divorcee if he ever dared to enter the Lighthouse again. I feel like this arc would not suffer if Rook was forced to break out of their denial earlier. This could have been such a great tie-in into Emmrich's arc of finding comfort in the sepulchral practice as a "monument more lasting than bronze".

For me, who would have likely been tricked until the very end, this is a lesson on how wishing something desperately is enough to fuel denial, blind us to evidence, and prevent the final inference from happening. (That or it's my braincell burnout speaking lol)

[youremyheaven]

I love the way you advice a lot of people here, so I wanna open up and tell you what's happening in my love life to see what you can say to me, maybe it'll make me feel better afterwards.

So, I'm seeing this guy for 8 months now, we're working together in a project. He's 12 years older than me (he's 37), has a little girl of 4, and he's single.

Since we started hooking up, he always told me he didn't wanted a relationship with anyone. He sees other people, he told me that even. He's honest with his intentions with me, he never made anything more to seems he wanted something more than casual sex with me. Until now..

The funny part is that I was a virgin, and as we were seeing each other, he didn't wanted to have sex with me, he thought it was too much responsibility for him to do so.

I understood and last month when I convinced myself he'd never ever have sex with in the near future, he decided it was ok and we did it a few days after my birthday.

It was his gift for me, and it was very special. A few days earlier of all of this , we had an event in our job/project when he saw my little sister and my parents, he interacted with them the whole night and he wanted to kiss me so bad that day, but we agreed to let things under the surface.

Anyway, a few days passed, I had my first time. 2 weeks later was his birthday then. Everything was too deep and close to home for him in the beginning of our situationship (EVEN GOING OUT ON A DATE WAS TOO MUCH lmao) but since we had sex, AFTER MONTHS SEEING EACH OTHER, last week he asked me to join him in the shower and we showered together and then we had sex again (I guess it was my birthday gift for him). He's being pretty affectionate, we're not having sex, we're making love.... anyways, I'm falling deeply in love with him, I finally accepted that within myself after a looong time denying.

Last week he told me laughing that he saw my best friend on tinder, and that broke my heart :)))))) wtf why are you still on tinder, are you denying your feelings too!?!? I kinda showed him I was disappointed, and he told me I should have other guys too....

Girl I swear to god, I don't know what to think, I just need to tell him as soon as possible that I'm in love with him and I'm leaving this for good, I don't wanna get hurt. We're still going to work together... deep inside I'm hopeful he's changing his mind about having something more with me (the last time he told me about having something more with anyone was 3 months ago), but idk, I don't wanna be delusional. He had his heart broken with his ex and he still sees her, they have a child together so I know that's hard for him. But I like him so so so much, I wanted to have a chance to show him he can be loved again.

That's it, sorry for the long text but I feel fucked up :(

First of all, tysm cutie 🥰🥺🫶🏼💛

I don't want to make it seem like I know everything or whatever bc God knows I don't lmao 🤣😭

All that said. I completely understand how different circumstances persuade us to act in ways that are at odds with common sense and love/romance/relationships etc is one such area

I don't know how else to say it to you and I apologise in advance for being blunt but this man does not love you or care for you. Please RUN from him. He had EIGHT whole months with you and he was seeing other people??? That itself is insane to me. You wanted your first time to be with him, it happened etc, that's okay. However I gently want to break it to you that if someone does not love/like you/ want to be with you/committed to you before having sex with you, they're not going to change their mind afterwards either. Sex is very emotionally charged for women but I will say that men absolutely do not have the same relationship with sex. Sex is just sex to them.

I'm not trying to tell you how you should or shouldn't feel but it's highly likely that the "falling deeply in love" bit is just a consequence of having sex with someone. You form an energetic bond with someone when you're intimate with them, you're literally holding them INSIDE your body. All the endorphins will make it seem like you're in lOooOve and a lot of people struggle to leave toxic relationships because of sex. What I mean when I say that is not that the sex is euphoric or mind-blowing but that the act of being intimate with someone is so vulnerable and deep (for the lack of a better word??) and it's hard to just break things off and move on. Being in a relationship or having sex with the same person repeatedly means you physically become attached to them. When moms breastfeed their babies, it's hard to wean them off even if the baby no longer needs to rely on breast milk to survive. It's bc the baby is physically attached to the act of being held and nourished. And to quit that, is hard. Same applies to sex. It's not exactly "love" bc this man does absolutely nothing but hurt your feelings and that's not love. You're emotionally attached to him bc you've been naked and vulnerable with him.

That tinder thing is just sooo 🤮🤮🤢🤢🤢ewww DUMP THAT MAN NOW

Please don't be delusional about his interest in you because he is just using you for sex. I want you to understand that when someone actually genuinely likes you, their ex wife, dating apps, or even the oncoming apocalypse could not stop him. If he's not ready for you, he just doesn't want you enough. If you genuinely love someone, you'll work thru whatever tf you're going thru on your own to be with them. You'll never have to beg someone to treat you right 😮‍💨

Everything this guy says is just a lame excuse to keep you on the loop 😡😠 DUMP HIS OLD ASS AND find a lover boy who only has eyes for you 😍🧿💛💛💛💛DONT SETTLE for someone who isn't even giving you the bare minimum!!!!

[dumbass-tumbler-cryptid]

I hope this doesn't come across as an inappropriate question, but if Spider in Cabin experienced physical abuse and being SA'd by foster family and that would cause him to serious panic when he is physically touched and even more when would get tied to a bed as is the case in the story, would Quaritch have done it anyway? Or would he have changed his approach and limited physical touch at least at first? Again, I hope this question doesn't sound weird!

I don’t find it weird so no worries. I will put a warning on this for anyone who doesn’t want to read about these topics though. So content warning for mentions of S.A and abuse. There’s nothing graphic here, just discussions of the aftermath of trauma but still warnings all around.

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So speaking from my own experience here, s.a changes you forever. You can absolutely heal from it. That’s why I have no issue talking about it. But your perspective on relationships will never ever be the same again

Spider would push down the trauma. He’d do it so well that it almost doesn’t affect him. Until something triggers him of course. He naturally has his defensives up. It’s like there’s a wall between him and everyone else so he never runs the risk of being touched or even getting emotionally close to others. It’s seeing other kids interact with their parents/guardians that really messes with him. Seeing all those hair ruffles, pats on the backs and hugs so innocently given out. Those kids naïve, trusting faces. Something he can never know again.

Quaritch is keeping close eyes on his son and so he feels immense guilt that the one time he took his attention away the worst thing happened to his boy. He had sent in an anonymous report to the police saying that he himself had been spotted in the area so Spider could immediately be moved. What he wanted to do was report the sicko who dared to touch his son but he knew a real conviction would be slim and it would only re traumatize Spider in the process. So he takes matters into his own hands. He’s not about to beat the person within an inch of his life like he did to his wife’s killer. He learned that lesson already. Instead he picks the lock on their car while they’re stopped at a gas station before work and poisons their lunch. By one in the afternoon they’re being hospitalized. By that evening they’ve died a horrifically painful death.

I also imagine that after this Quaritch would be speeding up his plans to take back Spider so he can keep him safe. He’d have is entire team up on the mountain to finish the cabin as quickly as possible. So maybe Spider is more in the 13-14 year old range instead of 15 like at the start of Cabin. And instead of a big dramatic kidnapping Quaritch sneaks into Spider’s current residence while he’s asleep, gives him a drug to make him stay asleep, then just carries him out.

Now I’ve said in the past that I actually regretted writing about Quaritch tying Spider to his bed at the start of Cabin. I knew it was fucked up but after getting way more fucked up questions that do actually make me uncomfortable I reassessed how far I had taken things in Cabin and it made me think that I had made things too messed up, since I was attracting questions about some really gross kink stuff.

I think my re write and expansion of my original one shot did help to at least create a richer story that I am proud of. But if I could go back to before my original one shot was posted I would change it so that Quaritch just locked Spider in his room at night and kept the front doors locked during the day. 

But he wouldn’t even do that here. Quaritch would just lock up everything that could be used as a weapon. Other than that Quaritch doesn’t want his son to feel trapped so he has free rein of the house.

Spider is of course freaked out when he wakes up. Quaritch keeps his distance trying to calm him down with just his words and tone of voice. Then Quaritch lays everything on the table. “I know what happened.”

Spider dies inside, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t play that game. I know what happened. And I am so sorry for that son. I should have fought harder for you. I should have taken you back sooner.” He’s so sincere and is looking at Spider with such pity but also genuine love. It twists Spider’s stomach. “I want you to know I killed them,” Spider looks at him shocked, “that’s right. I killed them. For daring to lay a hand on my boy. And then I built you this house to keep you safe. So you’ll never be hurt again.”

Spider feels like he might puke. He feels like he might cry either from the fear, relief or from the way his heart seems to be breaking. But he refuses to let any of these emotions out. Instead he curls into a ball, rocking slightly in place. “You kidnapped me. And you’ve got me all alone. How do I know you won’t….”

“I would never, ever do that to you.” Quaritch softly pleads to him, “I understand that those are just words though. Just give me a chance to show you. After that if you still don’t trust me I’ll take you back myself.”

Spider thinks about it. He never lived with the Sully’s in this au so he hasn’t had a home where he felt safe or loved. The thought of having a stable home is nice but what really gets him to say yes is the fact that his dad killed his abuser.

So Spider isn’t running. That invisible wall feels more like a fortress as he goes about his day to day with his dad. If it wasn’t for that barrier it would all be nice. Normal. His dad respects his boundaries and never pushes for more. Very very slowly his walls start to thin.

He’s been there for months without making any progress in his relationship with his dad but he is cautiously comfortable. And then he gets sick. He can’t move without getting lightheaded, he’s so lethargic and he can barely keep food down. Still he’s determined to take care of himself. He does his best to hide his illness but his dad clocks him in seconds. “Get back in bed,” Quaritch says, “I’ll take care of you.”

Spider’s anxiety spikes, “I’m fine. I can take care of myself.”

“But you don’t have to. Now go to bed. I’ll bring you some medicine.”

Spider’s so feverish, miserable and scared that he doesn’t care that he sounds like a whiny little kid when he says, “I don’t want to!”

“Son,” Quaritch is calm but insistent, “you’re really sick. You need bed rest and medicine and you need to let me take care of you.”

“No I don’t!”

His dad sighs, “Junior I want to do right by you. I know you still don’t trust me and being vulnerable is making you afraid. I get that. But you’re sick. I’m not going to hurt you. I just want to take care of you. So please get back in bed.”

Spider’s heart is racing. He feels like he can’t breathe. The room is swaying. “No!”

“Son please. Get back in bed or I’m going to have to carry you there.”

“No!” Spider turns to run. His dad picks him up around the waist kicking and screaming. When he lays him in bed Spider bursts into tears. “Don’t! Please don’t! Help! Someone help me!” Quaritch gets teary eyed. He smooths Spider’s hair out of his face gently shushing him. Spider bucks the touch. “Stop! Dad please stop. Please stop….”

His sobs become too strong from him to speak. Quaritch holds him through it all. When Spider cries himself out Quaritch dries his eyes and wipes his face then makes sure Spider is comfortable. While his dad goes to get him some water and medicine, Spider sits there feeling hollowed out in that good post break down kind of way. His dad could have hurt him but he didn’t. Instead he pet his hair, rubbed his back and held him in that innocent way he’s seen from so many other parents. And it was nice. It made him feel safe.

When his dad re enters the room he smiles at him, soft and loving. He hands Spider a glass of water, tucks his hair behind his ear then pulls up a chair to his bedside. “You gonna be okay tiger?”

Spider nods, “yeah dad. I think I’m going to be okay.”

[crimeronan]

Empress Luz AU: Obsessed with Luz finding out more about Eda and Raine's relationship. Especially that she's hearing it from Raine's perspective. A big aspect of what became the tipping point for them back then was being completely shut out by Eda who refused to accept any help while Eda was trying to suffer through her curse alone because she doesn't want to end up hurting anyone else.

Just. Raine maybe using the story as an opportunity to try to nudge Luz in the direction that confiding in people she can trust and reaching out for help is good and okay and that they're always available if she ever needs them, even if just to talk. (Just really hoping that maybe she might open up about the things Raine & Darius already found out via the mindscape)

Meanwhile, Luz just sorta zeroed in on all of the negatives of the story and how things are mirroring just a bit too closely and Eda and Raine haven't spoken in decades and the internal screaming has reached up to whistling teakettle and she's completely missing Raine trying to be supportive.

HEAD IN HANDS. THIS IS SO SWEET AND TRAGICALLY HILARIOUS AND HILARIOUSLY TRAGIC OHHH GOD.

luz being like "oh no, raine can tell that i'm keeping secrets and they're trying to nicely tell me to fuck off and even if they HAVEN'T clocked me, i should never have gotten so comfortable and i should be better at handling my stuff alone because i am emotionally unavailable and Bad :(((" is SO DEEPLY IN CHARACTER IT'S KILLING MEEE. she did almost EXACTLY the same thing to hunter, back before they worked their shit out. i am fucking yelling. GOD. LUZ MY SWEET ANGLE

it's especially interesting if luz is working semi-regularly with a still-kinda-resistant eda. and eda is definitely keeping her cards close to her chest because like HELL is she going to be emotionally vulnerable to The Fucking Empire. and so luz sees even more of herself in eda through these interactions than through raine's stories. all of eda's wariness and hesitance to trust and the way her guard only comes down during moments when luz is being disarmingly kind or excited....

i feel like in this scenario, luz WOULD eventually break down in front of raine and tell them.... well, a lot. whether she admitted to patricide would depend on the circumstances, but Certainly she'd fess up about the amount of stress she's under. luz has been playing politics really well and subtly unraveling the empire, but she's also aware that there are Enormous risks if she chooses the wrong allies or makes the wrong decisions. and the only person who Fully knows what happened or what she wants or who she is... is hunter. and hunter will bounce ideas off her and tell her if he thinks she's making a mistake, but he's also 100% loyal to whatever she decides to do. which is scary for her!

and she's sixteen. seventeen if this is a few months into her reign. seventeen is old enough to run a country if you're a YA protagonist, but Oh God the concept is Fucking Terrifying in any other genre. she's under SO MUCH PRESSUREEEE

luz knocking on the door of raine's room and barely managing to get inside before she's bursting into tears like "i asked the titan to help me and i promised i'd fix the world if he did and i don't know if i can even keep that promise i'm ruining it i killed my father and i promised not to be like him and i can't HELP being like him and i don't know what to do i don't WANT to be like him i don't want to be like this i don't want to ruin everything"

and a startled raine not even being able to calculate a response beyond just. "i know."

and luz is like.

wh.

you. you what????

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

Pride Month Character Sexuality Headcanon Moodboards 1. Yasmine - Lesbian 2. Demetri Alexopoulos - Gay 3. Moon - Bisexual 4. Eli "Hawk" Moskowitz - Bisexual

Next up is everyone's favorite Demetri Alexopoulos-obsessed slightly evil predatory bird boy, Eli "Hawk" Moskowitz! Unlike with Demetri, I am fully aboard the Bisexual Eli Express. Justice for bi guys!!! We need more in media because it is in fact sexy and valid to like dick AND boobs!!!

Now, quick disclaimer that there is not a single mlw Eli ship that I personally fuck with in the least. I've been pretty loud about the reasons for my immense distaste of H*wkM**n, and could in fact write a 20 or so page essay on why they're one of my all-time NoTPs if prompted. Furthermore, my first impulse upon seeing any other female character paired with Eli (or...really, any character who isn't Demetri, or possibly Miguel in extremely specific circumstances) is to keep said pairing approximately 491263844976 feet away from me. BUT, despite my personal feelings of revulsion upon seeing Eli paired with anyone who isn't his soulmate Demetri Alexopoulos, I fully believe Eli is bisexual and that there's plenty of textual evidence to support this!

So let's dive in!

The first thing that comes to mind is how Eli vents to his mom in the 2x05 flashback about how he's "never going to get a girlfriend." Granted, as I've mentioned in some other posts, high school dating is often more about social status (i.e. being seen as "desirable" enough to get an SO makes you more popular) than genuine romantic attraction. BUT Eli voicing his concerns to someone he clearly trusts more than most people indicates to me that he wants a girlfriend more than just for show--he's attracted to girls.

I have a friend who since moved on from the fandom who did autistic analyses of Eli, and pointed out that he's often uncomfortable with eye contact. Pre-Hawk, the only two people we see him make consistent eye contact with are Demetri and his mom. This seems like a pretty good indication that these are the two people he trusts the most, and can most honestly "bare his soul" and be himself around. Another reason I think his vent to his mom about worrying he's never going to have the experience of dating a girl has authenticity to it. I can't compare this to Demetri's interactions with his mom, unfortunately (and it's a damn shame!!! I demand to see Ms. Alexopoulos in S6!!!), but I can say for certain that Eli has expressed wanting a girlfriend from a (presumably) vulnerable and honest place, while S1 Demetri only ever seems to do so performatively.

As previously established, there is no bigger H*wkM**n loather than I. I make no secret of this. HOWEVER!!! I feel like it'd be naive--and maybe even dumb--to pretend that there isn't at least some physical attraction there. Granted, they're definitely emotionally incompatible in a way I wish the show had the balls to actually address (like how the fuck is a pacifist gonna last in a relationship with a dude who loves fighting more than just about everything else lmao), but I can buy they find each other physically (and probably sexually) attractive. Moon basically says as much when she's dumping Eli in S2! They very much strike me as one of those teenage couples who are all over each other 90% because of hormones. I'd say the main difference between them and Dem and Yas is that the performative aspect doesn't seem to be there. While Dem and Yas feel like they're putting on a show, it seems like Hawk and Moon really were just that horny.

So throughout S2, we see Hawk treat Moon in kind of a possessive way, and more as arm candy to make him look good than as her own person (yet another reason I am such a Hater lmao). Despite this, he spends so much time in S3 and S4 moping over her and pining for her that I do think they had somewhat of an emotional connection, even if it was pretty surface-level. I still think their relationship was mostly based on looks and social status, but him being that hung up on winning her back (a frankly unhealthy thing that should not have been narratively rewarded btw) instead of just moving on to some other hot girl who'd give him the time of day indicates that Moon was more than just a beard.

So like. I feel like if you weren't convinced that Eli has feelings for Demetri, you wouldn't be reading a post written by tumblr user demetriandelibinaryboyfriends XD But to briefly summarize: Eli spends much of the show shooting Demetri Yearning Looks and being the only one amused by his antics. Even when they're falling out, Eli is borderline obsessive about harassing Demetri when he could just ignore him and focus on his Cool New Karate Friends. He often seeks Demetri out in fights in a way that feels pretty damn fruity. He's pretty physically affectionate with Demetri, and never seems to mind when Dem is physically affectionate with him (to the point of near cuddling in S4). This is...unusual for teenage boys, to say the least! Oftentimes even the straight ones are so terrified of being perceived as gay that they're super stingy about all but the most "no homo" type of physical affection. The fact that Dem and Eli pretty liberally put their arms around each other and give each other little gestures of physical affection makes me think that they've been in a homoerotic friendship so long that they like. Don't even realize it comes across as kinda gay??? Like Miguel and Demetri are physically affectionate too, but it's much more casual and doesn't feel as intense.

Also worth a mention that Eli is literally simping for Demetri so hard that he joins Demetri's karate dojo right after being terribly traumatized and deciding to quit karate. Why??? Because Demetri said some encouraging things to him, cuddled him on a couch, and basically confessed his love by being like "hey I'll always care about you no matter how you wear your hair or what name you go by." This man is whipped as fuck. His actor basically confirmed he won the championship for Demetri! And lest we forget, the final push that got him to betray the dojo he'd previously devoted his entire life to--also led by a dangerous war criminal sure not to take betrayal lightly, might I mention--was seeing Demetri in danger. Eli "Hawk" Moskowitz is in fact Down Bad.

So I'm not a big fan of the migu/eli ship for reasons I don't want to get into here, but imo it's completely possible Eli had feelings for Miguel at some point (I just don't think they were ever reciprocated because Miguel is in love with Sam!). He definitely idolizes Miguel and puts him on a kind of "coolness" pedestal that feels like it could easily be romantic. He also gets so obsessed with avenging Miguel that he breaks the arm of the other guy he has a crush on, so...there's also that!

Come to think of it, there are actually some really interesting parallels between the Miguel/Eli and Moon/Eli relationships. Both are kind of a case of Eli getting really enamored with this idealized idea/concept he has of a person and getting so wrapped up in that that he has a fundamental misunderstanding of and neglects the actual person's wants and needs. Hence why he's so confused when Moon and Miguel tell him they don't want him in their lives if he's going to be an ass--this isn't how the doe-eyed ever-adoring hot girlfriend and stone-cold, super aggressive badass bestie he built up in his head were supposed to react! Why are they acting like independent people with agency who don't conform to the versions of themselves in Eli's fantasies???

(This is also why I think Demetri's the healthiest and most sensible romantic partner for Eli btw. Eli doesn't idealize and borderline deify Demetri the way he does for other people he has feelings for/seems to have feelings for. He's known Dem so long that we can reasonably extrapolate any feelings that developed were based in the Demetri that was actually there, and not a fictional version he built up in his mind. In fact, it almost seems like Demetri knows Eli has a tendency to do this and won't let Eli project an untrue version of Demetri onto the real guy. That might be why Demetri staunchly refused to change himself to go along with Eli's karate shenanigans in early S2--he was basically saying "I am who I am, and I refuse to become this impossibly glorified image you're projecting onto me." And I can't blame him--I actually get really annoyed when people try to put me on a pedestal, and will often go out of my way to break their illusion that I'm whatever perfect, wholesome box they try to shove me in XD Bottom line being that between Moon, Miguel, and Demetri, I think Demetri has the healthiest relationship with Eli because it's, at the end of the day, the most honest and doesn't hinge on any untrue and unfair projections.)

At the end of the day though!!! The fact that Eli is able to separately idealize both a guy and a girl and both in a pretty romantic or romantic-coded way is pretty damning proof to me that he is in fact bisexual! Look, not all bisexuals process their feelings in healthy ways okay aiksjuuhfkdhg

He dyes his hair ALL THE DAMN BISEXUAL FLAG COLORS. And on the order they're on the flag, too??? Red (S2 - S3) to purple (S4) to dark blue (S5)??? Fucking wild. If this was a fanfiction I would joke about it being too on-the-nose, BUT NO. THIS IS CANON MATERIAL IN THE SHOW.

Okay, I'm sorry, but. NO non-queer dude dyes his hair bright-ass colors like that. Red or blue maaaaybe, but PURPLE??? NO. Straight men simply do not dye their hair purple. Like speaking as an LGBT I'm here to tell you that in the community, brightly colored hair (but especially more "flamboyant," girly colors like purple or pink) basically a signal that says "hey, I am also queer!" ESPECIALLY if you're a dude. Straight girls dyeing their hair bright-ass colors is more common, but I have never known a single straight guy to. And that's because it's associated with being gay af.

Also I can't tell you the amount of times they've put this dude in bisexual lighting. The ones I can think of off the top of my head are S2 Valley Fest and the S3 arm break, but I'm sure there are more I'm forgetting. Demetri is there both the times I mentioned. Hmmmm.

Took some liberties with the bisexual flag in this moodboard to better fit Eli's vibe...and also like. These are literally the three colors he dyes his hair in canon. I had to XD

I'm still not over that btw aksjdkhuef like it's so bisexual it's PAINFUL

I really like how this one came out <3 Hopefully I was able to capture the full scope of technonerd, avian motifs, and that one S3 angerboi I-want-to-punch-everything-and-everyone arc!

Btw the top middle picture is just supposed to be neon fire because our boi is Fiery™️, but then I realized it...kind of also looks like a mohawk??? So kudos to me for the accidental character accuracy XD

Okay so. Would you believe I have several more of these that I didn't have the chance to post? ^^; I uh. Guess I'll have to make July Pride Month 2.0 and post them then XD This is what happens when I'm too overambitious in my shitposts, eh?

As always, pic credits available upon request!

[eolewyn1010]

Dragging Frankenstein - Chapter 19

Which starts out gay, and keeps getting gayer. Half the time, I'm left wondering if Mary Shelley did this on purpose.

“Clerval desired the intercourse of the men of genius and talent” – XD Good on you, Henry, for setting higher standards than pretty. DAS GAY: 27

…okay, the way Victor is all about loving Henry and how wonderful Henry is gets them another one for their relationship. DAS GAY: 28

I’ll hold back from giving one for Henry being “anxious to gain experience and instruction”, but… yeah, have fun, sweetie. My brain is a little Pride Month-addled.

-.- Aaaand Henry promptly gets a sympathy point removed for wanting to progress India’s colonization. Dude.

“that I might not debar him from the pleasures natural to one who was entering on a new scene of life” o.O Okay, WHY is this reading like Henry has just come out and is exploring the local gay scene??

And with the “collecting materials” again, how does Victor hide them from his boyfriend, both in London and then during travelling? Imagine the conversation. “Uhm… Victor… you might wanna wash your underwear before packing it; the luggage is kind of smelly.”

“although I abhorred society” – wooooow, Victor is a real sunshine, isn’t he? I mean, I’m socially anxious, but that sounds more like the Creature in his hatred for humanity.

Once again, the passage of time confuses me. Shelley’s transitions, man. How tf do they need four months from London to Scotland? And why would they begin this journey in fucking February? And can Victor really afford to take this time? And give us a history lesson on the country, to boot. Like Bram Stoker, Shelley can’t resist the temptation to write a travel guide. Train schedules, anyone?

Every “soon” is “four months later”, Victor needed 6 fucking YEARS to go back home to visit his family. Honestly, I’m amazed that the shallow twit even still wants to marry Elizabeth and doesn’t consider her an old maid not worthy of his attention at this point. It’d be like him.

However, as my friend pointed out, he rarely ever thinks about actually being married to Elizabeth. It’s a very abstract concept to him, marrying her at all. How convenient that he doesn’t have to get used to it. Being married would require him to actually take the role he has rejected regarding the Creature. He’d have to take responsibility for Elizabeth and the household, for hypothetical children. He’d have to be dependable, emotionally, financially, in regards to the time he spends with them. It’s different with Henry. Henry is the one who’s always there to support him, and to be up for every whim of Victor’s. A marriage doesn’t work that way. Conclusion: Victor’s problem isn’t that the Creature is ugly. It’s just that Victor is a fucking deadbeat.

Ah, but it wouldn’t be complete without Victor moping. Feeling once more that Stephenie Meyer’s characters are heavily based on 19th century gothic horror novels, even though she completely fails at the horror part. All the same whiners. “Byronic hero” my ass; try “emo brat”.

“…at Servox and Chamonix. The latter name made me tremble when pronounced by Henry” – XDDD I know what Victor is on about, but the choice of words makes me think that, for a student of languages, Henry seems to really butcher that pronunciation.

“I could now almost fancy myself among the Swiss mountains.” – Yeah, why would you go anywhere else at all if not to feel exactly like at home?

When Victor talks about getting letters from home, he gives us this baffling line: “I hardly dared to read and ascertain my fate.” Oh, right. Whether Elizabeth and his father and brother are still alive is Victor’s fate. Had almost forgotten it. IT’S ALL ABOUT ME: 20

“you enjoy yourself, and let this be our rendezvous” – DAS GAY: 29

This journey is really an opportunity for the boys to have a gay old time, huh.

I’m giving this another double bc Henry gets so heartache-y at separating from Victor for a while, “I cannot feel at home in your absence” and all that. Henry, you’re too good for him. DAS GAY: 30

Victor travels to the Orkneys and sneers about how poor his surroundings and the people are -.- I held back on giving him a point for the smug attitude with which he just presumed some important scientist would be eager to share all his wisdom with him, the college drop-out brat, but I will so count his turning up his nose on miserable cows, “squalidness of the most miserable penury”, gaunt limbs, and meals that have the audacity to consist of oatmeal and vegetables. I SO PRIVILEGED: 9

“I ordered it to be repaired, bought some furniture, and took possession” – He’s insistent on pissing me off, the patronizing little shitstain. Why don’t you repair it yourself? I SO PRIVILEGED: 10

“As it was, I lived ungazed at and unmolested” o.O Is. Is Victor craving some gazes and molestation or something?

“employed in the most detestable occupation” …yeah, right, but when you did it the first time, serving no benefit but your own fame, then it was a noble undertaking of creating a new species and shit.

[mejomonster]

Not to shame them because I think it's hilarious as all fuck, but it sure is peculiar how the Two of them like to swing between caretaker/brat and flirting competition. It's like they just slide to the other one when a fight in the initial one isn't going the way they want. Fei Du becoming a love option didn't actually stop the fighting it just made it even more awkward. It's a little hilarious it is. It's also a bit of why they have this Really particular relationship flavor. They're not lovers yet, but they're SO fucking emotionally close it's absurd. They're almost lovers but they are SO emotionally close it's a Huge Shift to just flip into casual flirtations when you both have each other's lives memorized already and have embarrassed yourselves worse in front of each other than anyone else.

The way it goes from Luo Wenzhou admiting he knows fei du is investigating and has for years, to Fei Du using the excuse of flirtation to block the sudden exposure about his actions, to needing to attack using the Luo-as-caretaker angle insisting Luo Wenzhou even checked his grades growing up. In the span of 1 minute they covered "suspicious of each other" almost opponents, sexual pursuit, and caretaking familial level intimacy. And that's just... them all the time. (It reminds me of Word of Honor throwing in the shidi dynamic except this one is in the novel itself and baked through into everything, meanwhile the investigating opponents reminds me of Death Note and Beyond Evil and Flower of Evil and I love that).

I'm screaming rhis is so good!!!! Luo Wenzhou saying first I'm hot, second don't hit on me til you drink your milk (again combining that parental Do What I Say shit with their Antagonistic opponent shit - you aren't UP for my level to win me - combined with I am a FINE catch of a man you Should want me). Like ALL their interactions reside in this grey zone of all 3 and its wild! It's interesting! It's a dynamic I just cannot get in another novel. I simply cannot go out and find 4 other stories that fulfill this particular relationship dynamic. It's fascinating to watch!

And lmao Fei Du that competitive opponent (wants TO WIN LUO WENZHOU so he can Be Good Enough/better than him), combines with the romantic intrigue (he can challenge me ohoho I like a challenge), and the caretaker/brat dynamic of (he said I CANT pursue him and to take care of myself well FUCK HIM I'm GOING TO FUCK HIM IM GONNA MAKE HIM EAT HIS WORDS WHILE I XXX). FEI DU you LITERALLY ARE JUMPING OFF THIS CLIFF YOURSELF. In a year when you're in a steady relationship with Luo "bastard" wenzhou cuddled up in bed just you remember you DECIDED to go and flirt some more. That you wanted to sleep with him and make him fall for you. That you got a warning and were still like FUCK WHAT THE OLD MAN SAYS I CAN TOO SEDUCE HIM IM GONNA MAKE HIM MINE. Then fei du sitting a year later in bed blinking dully: I sure did... make him mine... fuck I'm never gonna live it down I'm a SAP

Quote:

“Stop talking nonsense. When your dad had his accident, you were still in school, though your studies were sloppy and brainless enough—why weren’t you willing to trust that ‘reliable’ team then, sit back and collect your annual dividends like a well-behaved shareholder?”

Fei Du looked up and met Luo Wenzhou’s eyes in the rearview mirror; his gaze was deep, with a frank and familiar severity.

“You didn’t take on your dad’s company for the money. You were investigating him,” Luo Wenzhou said positively. “According to this inference, you applying to Yan Security Uni now has the same aim. What is it for— or rather, who is it for?”

“Maybe it’s to hit on you?” Fei Du said without turning a hair. “Perhaps my taste has suddenly changed, and I’ve started to salivate for Captain Luo’s type of…hm…deadly serious dark horse charm?”

Not a single straightforward word ever came out of this bastard’s mouth; it was all circles and obfuscation.

He narrowed his eyes, his gaze sweeping invasively over Luo Wenzhou’s straight nose bridge and slightly sharp lips, seeming ready to kiss him at any moment. With a trace of a nasal drawl, he gently asked, “How do you know my studies were sloppy, Captain Luo? Aside from secretly sending gifts, were you also concerned about my report cards?”

Luo Wenzhou: “…”

He let a breath out through his nose, unlocked the car, and under the attentive, ambiguous gaze of this bit of goods, without any warning, he reached out and grabbed the collar of President Fei’s thoughtfully arranged shirt, spoiling his large-tailed wolf’s posture.

“First,” Luo Wenzhou said sternly, “my good looks have always received wide social approval from the masses. They belong to a classic, timeless style of male beauty. If you think that I’m a dark horse, that only goes to show that you haven’t studied enough and are ignorant and ill-informed.

“Second.” His gaze swept over Fei Du’s arm in its cast, looking like the sight was a little too tragic to behold. “Darling, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen anyone bold enough to talk as big as you do. You want to hit on me in your condition? You’d be better off hitting the milk and building up some calcium first, President Fei!”

Then he pointed to the car door and said to Fei Du, “Get out.”

President Fei had been invariably victorious in all forms of flirtation. Meeting for the first time with such a rude rebuff, he felt it was very novel. Shooed out of the car by Luo Wenzhou in his disabled state, he watched Luo Wenzhou’s back with a look that said he was itching to have a go; but for the moment he laid down his arms, closed his mouth, and followed him to the memorial hall.

[sebbyisland]

mob psycho ep 9 + 10 + 11 live reaction here we go

i'm going to be annoying!!! because i'm excited and this is my treat to myself after a very hellish 3 weeks!!!

i just wanna say i love when the op is like "DISTORTION" and you hear here the guitar distortion aahgfdl;skj

this part reminds me of when all the dead characters from Gurren Lagann came back to cheer on the protag and the guy in the focus of the frame was the protag's older bro figure. cries. ugh shit like this is why i love Shonen T__T

ugh i wanna draw this so bad

OH MY GOD LOOK AT HIM STANDING WITH HIS LIL BOUQUET OHHHH THE BOY THE MOST BOY EVER AHHH

[yes i know what's about to happen im so. I'm so not okay]

UGH HE'S GROWN SO MUCH. THESE EYES ARE FILLED WITH KINDNESS AND LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP IM GOING TO LOSE MY MIND

CRYING. SHAKING. THROWING UP. TOSSING MY DEVICE OUT THE WINDOW. AHHSDHGFEHHREJWEWRHIGE: THE SCORE IN THIS SCENE IS SO SOMBER AND TRAGIC LIKE IT RLLY EMPHASIZES THE EMOTION MORE THAN THE ACTION OH MY GOD BECAUSE HE'S SAD!!!! MOB IS IN PAIN TERU IS IN PAINNN OHHHH

THIS WAS SUCH AN INTERESTING ART DIRECTION LIKE IT'S NOT CONFIRMED BY HEAVILY IMPLIED THAT TERU IS THAT STRAY dask FALLING FROM THE CLOUD OF IMPACT??????????? OH my god.

i really really really REALLY LOVE THE SOUNDTRACK FROM THIS EPISODE I DEF NEED TO FIND IT LATER! It does such a good job taking us through Teru's whole emotional journey ugh

YOU'RE DOING GREAT BBY IM SO PROUD OF YOU!!!!!!!!

also lol did anyone make "yeet" memes about when Teru got tossed like a ragdoll or are we too cool for yeet memes now

i knew bones would pull through but ahhhhh Mob gradually losing his human form has been really cool to see animated <3

the animation for this episode is so insane like if gurren lagann actually had a budget. sorry for constantly comparing to gurren lagann but like. pls if you are reading this PLEASE WATCH GURREN LAGANN I PROMISE IF U LIKE MOB PSYCHO 100 OR MY HERO ACADEMIA OR CHAINSAW OR ANY OTHER THING I SCREAM ABOUT ON THIS BLOG. YOU WILL LIKE GURREN LAGANN. anyways.

The performance in ep 10....absolutely stunning from every possible angle...down to everything..this episode..the pacing...the voicE ACTING UGH.....wow... WOW!!! AMAZING!!!! I'm probably really bias because i emotionally love this part in the story but haha yeah....yeahh i love ep 10.

Ritsu once again the only one with brain cells and puts together what's going on SO quick cause even though he doesn't "understand" his brother he knows his brother like no one else. i'm never not emo about Ritsu. i love Ristu and Mob's relationship. ugh ugh ugh

the opening to s3 is so wild i notice something new every time i watch it. love that. reminds me of s1 <3

OH IM SO GLAD THEY KEPT HIS EXPRESSION FROM THE MANGA HERE

aw i like the detail that Ritsu left his coat for Teru......

lol they censored the fact Kageyama's friend almost got totally stabbed through a vital point by replacing the rod with a flat surface

i cant fucking DO THIS ANYMORE

wow i don't even have the energy to liveblog this episode it's so amazing and gorgeous and creative and emotional it's everything everything everything

good night! time to see if i manage to brainstorm a decent fanart idea

also i just want to say i really love reading the animation breakdown analysis over here for each episode, it's been really funny and i highly recommend!