#my ranbles

[a-haunting-of-endermen]

My first foray into Stobotnik was via spotify playlists, so imagine my genuine shock when I went from

"Awwww this seems like it would be a perfect romantic/sad song for Stone and Ivo, good choice"

to

"THIS SONG WAS LITERALLY IN THE MOVIES DURING THEIR SCENES?????"

[spiffingbeansoup]

me and my chronic ability to stick my foot in it

[cat-clawz]

Hilarious how pi day isn't even trending but the ides of March has been trending for the past week. Throw a pie in Julius Caesar's face, today only!

[alenoah-likerr]

The alenoah appeal to me is the fact that it didn't happen, they never got together and it can only be a passing thought of what could have been.

Their relationship failed before it could even sprout, maybe it is that way on purpose. What might have happened if Alejandro kept Noah around? Sure, he's just a teammate and Alejandro could get rid of him anytime, but maybe he's becoming too fond of the guy lately, and the fact that Alejandro's first instinct on overhearing Noah is to feel hurt rather than... anything else.

Alejandro probably noticed his own behavior, and he'd be terrified. Warm feelings for his competition, for a guy no less. It would be a scandal! Noah has to go, better now than later. Besides he has a thing going on with Heather, a true equal to him. Noah is his acquaintance at best...

He never really had thoughts on Noah, he's just some loser, who doesn't seem to bother doing anything... which pisses him off a little bit but he can't help but respect his attitude, he wished he could care less like Noah. Whenever he looks into Noah's eyes, he only sees boredom but the moment he returns his gaze, Alejandro can feel his skin crawl. Noah's eyes are like pins and poke holes at him, he feels naked. Alejandro might as well be lying on an operating table with Noah dissecting him with his eyes alone.

And a one-liner came out of his mouth. Acceptance.

His words stings a lot for some reason. Betrayal.

[frongle444]

Take me to church, I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies.

[gerogerigaogaigar]

Phineas and Ferb fascinates me from a structural standpoint. I'll admit I haven't watched the show front to back, but I've caught the odd episode here and there and I certainly get the gist of it.

The first time I saw P&F it seemed charming but unremarkable, the second and probably third time it became obvious that it was a clever but formulaic show. At some point it clicked. Children's shows are usually formulaic, Dee Dee will destroy Dexter's invention, Elmer Fudd will fail to hunt the Wabbit, He-Man will defeat Skeletor, and Sisyphus will roll that boulder up that hill. Phineas and Ferb asks not just that we imagine Sisyphus happy, but that we imagine that he is ecstatic to see that boulder roll down the hill.

Where the status quo is an unspoken rule of older cartoons it is the explicit law of the P&F universe. There is a roadmap to every episode, you probably already know it but I will spell it out regardless. Phineas will say the phrase "I know what we're gonna do today" thus kicking off their project for the episode. Candace will try and fail to get them "busted". There will be a musical number. Meanwhile Doofenshmirtz will have made an -inator that Perry will be called upon to destroy. Perry will get caught, Doofenshmirtz will explain his plan, Perry will escape, destroy the -inator and the ensuing chaos will clean up Phineas and Ferb's backyard shenanigans just in time for their mom to get home. Ferb says something at the very end, often his only line in the whole episode. The end.

There are stock lines that must be said. "I know what we're gonna do today" "I wonder where Perry is" "Busted" "🎵Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated🎶". The show doesn't just have a cartoon status quo, the universe operates off of the laws of cartoon status quo to the extent that characters actively notice when the cycle doesn't complete correctly. The characters seemingly know that their world operates on cartoon physics, but to them it's just physics. In P&F a giant whirlwind carrying away a giant backyard amusement park is as natural as gravity.

Candace's place as the character who knows this is all insane must be a tortuous existence considering the whole world is conspired against her. Not out of a cosmic meanness but a deep thematic kindness. Candace is the only character whose intent is to cause purposeful harm and the universe will not let her get away with it.

Truly this is one of the most unerringly kind shows I've ever seen. It is unreal how much faith it puts into wordplay, running jokes, and raw absurdity to carry itself while never stepping into the realm of cartoon cruelty.

You know cartoon cruelty. It's why Tom gets punished for Jerry's actions and why the Trix rabbit can never eat his own damn cereal. At its best cartoon cruelty manifests as Ed, Edd n Eddy or the Looney Tunes short Duck Amok where there is catharsis in seeing the characters hoisted by their own petard. At its worst you get CatDog which is so intensely cruel to the character of Cat that I can't comprehend what the writers were going for.

The confident lack of irony is part of what makes Phineas And Ferb work. The show is a parade of cartoon cliches and dad jokes and it never it never winks at the viewer or lampshades how silly this is. It just has absolute faith that the corniest jokes ever really are that funny. And so they are. I actually laugh out loud every time they do the "Aren't you a little young for this?" "Yes, yes I am" bit. Maybe it's the delivery, maybe it's just the confidence in the bit. Probably a bit of both. I am smiling to myself just thinking of this dumb running joke.

But what this all amounts to is what every bit of fandom wankery amounts to. I am of course talking about shipping. For my money the best bit in the show is the romantic framing of Doofenshmirtz and Perry's rivalry. This is where the show's cartoon logic and unrepentant kindness synthesize perfectly. The homoerotic undertones of the spy/supervillain dynamic are an extremely tired observation and are usually only emphasized in an ironic sense to poke fun at pieces that never intended the gay subtext. P&F flips this joke by not being even a little bit ironic about it, but still adhering to the unspoken nature of the gag.

The end result is that Perry and Doofenshmirtz's status as a romantic couple is tacitly understood to be part of the shows status quo, but never commented on. The world of P&F is too inherently kind to be homophobic (homophobia being a key component of the joke) but it still has a joke shaped hole to fill. So it does the funniest possible thing and fills the hole with nothing. The joke is the lack of a joke. The expectation of a joke that is met with a shrug from the show's own internal logic. And that's really funny. An evil scientist and a platypus are in a loving relationship that happens to also be a hero/villain rivalry. Don't worry about it. It's not the weirdest thing happening in the tri state area I promise.

[x-monochrome-x]

i love you giants with hands too cold to hold tinies comfortably. i love you giants that are terrified of stinky morning breath. i love you giants that cannot sleep anywhere near their tiny(ies) because they snore too loud or roll around. i love you giants that can't make themselves comfortable when they're around creatures smaller than them. i love you giants that have panic attacks when they see something scramble on the floor. i love you giants that think they're too hideous and monstrous to be loved. i love you giants that can't speak for fear of showing their teeth. i love you giants that hate eating in front of tinies. i love you giants that are too self aware. i love you giants

[nomaptomyowntreasure]

yesterday, Pete kept throwing pics at me and the guy next to me kept catching them and ended up with three and I was like... you sure you need all of them buddy? but then he caught one of the balloon baubles and spend about 7 songs trying to deflate it so he could take it home and I was like whatever. People do strange things.

There were also kids (7th grade?) in the front row and pete made sure they got his setlist after by personally peeling it off and not giving it to local security but to his team to give to them, it was so sweet. When he spotted them he also said to get them a shirt and made sure whoever gives out those shirts knew who he meant (he said "you got em? right here?" to someone clearly off stage) and then he was like "then you can go to school tomorrow and say I got a fucking tshirt too... but maybe don't say fucking" and patrick wandered over and just laughed at him and pete was like "whatever I don't teach 7th grade I don't know"

Pete is so amazingly focused on the crowd, like he noticed someone dressed as a banana five rows in and he's always scanning to make sure folks are okay. It truly upsets me when people say he looks like he's not having a good time. I've never seen a smile as bright as his whilst simultaneously handling a fire throwing bass and keeping an eye on the crowd.

band of my absolute heart.

[end3rm0cha]

WOOHOO CAN YOU BELIEVE IT ??? 21 !!!

There is still a bit more than one week to fill in the form for anyone who wishes to participate !

(please there is only a 4 to 17 author to artist ratio the fanfiction business is doing terrible /j dont feel pressured by this haha you're still more than welcome if you are an artist)

[grape-jucie-dog]

I just realized I'm only 3 or 4 chapters away from writing Athena singing After Tonight and Power Couple.

Which sounds like a lot still, but considering that we're at 10 published chapters, and that I've had this idea since chapter 2, I am PUMPED.

It's like. The only thing plaguing my mind. 😭

[brandwhorestarscream]

Reincarnation AU

Poor Mom of Triplets Rodimus so Exhausted. Luckly the Lost Lighters have heard the phrase "It takes a vilage to raise a child." Suprisingly Whirl is up there in compatition for most beloved uncle with Drift. Seriously who knew the Psychocopter was really good with bitties.

It's probably a good thing since Roddy wasn't the only one to fall to the Reincarnation shenanigans. He was merely the first. When Drift, Ratchet and Megatron all fall pregnant the call back to Cybetrton reveals Optimus, Starscream, and Prowl are all greatly gravid.

[Meanwhile somewhere off stage Tarn is feeling Things™️. He kept his array pure for Lord Megatron The Cause. And somehow he is experiencing the mechpreg.]

He's having such a hard time lmao. Even tho the crew adores the bitties and are always happy to help out their captain, they're still very young and can't really be away from their carrier for too long. Offers to babysit last perhaps a megacycle, tops, before the bitties get squirmy and cranky and their tiny sparks begin reaching for their maternal bond, and Rodimus has to hurry back to them

Funny enough, he actually gets the most rest when he's not by himself: though he trusts Drift and Ratchet completely with the triplets, and go an extent Ultra Magnus as well, Roddy struggles to actually relax when he's alone in his habsuite or office and his kiddos are elsewhere. It's like a reflex he can't control: whenever his sparklings are out of sight it's like a switch just flips in his mind. His thoughts swirl around them, always insistently pulled away from whatever he's supposed to be doing. Wondering if they're alright, if they're hungry, or if Pinky is getting anxious without him like he tends to, or if Maroon was still trying to choke himself by sucking on his own fingers. What if they miss him, what if they're too much for their sitters to handle, what if they think he's abandoned them, what if they trip and fall and hurt themselves and he's not there to make sure they're ok?! What if something terrible happens, like what if they fall down the stairs and break their cranial casing? What if there's another psychotic sociopath hiding aboard somewhere that takes his sparklings hostage when he's not there to protect them?! What if they get attacked by space pirates?! What if they DIE?! Of they die it'll he all his fault and he's the worst mom ever and-

On and on it goes. Whenever the exhausted carrier tries to nap by himself, his thoughts just spiral and throw him headfirst into a fit of anxiety. Rodimus has some of the worst imposter syndrome we've ever seen, and i think that would carry over to how he sees himself as a parent: he has no idea what he's doing and he loves these sparklings more than life itself; the only thing he wants, more than anything, is to do right by them. To give them the life they deserve, to be the mother they deserve. He's scared to death about raising them, honestly, so afraid to make a mistake and ruin their lives. He'd never forgive himself if he let them be hurt or, worse, if he hurt them. Having them out of sight exacerbates his anxieties, because he can't possibly know exactly what they're getting up to.

And because of all that, exhausted mama Rodimus gets his best sleep either on his berth with the three ragamuffins puppy piled on top of him, or in common areas when someone else can keep the kiddos occupied and he can keep an eye on them. Knowing they're safe and right in front of him but also knowing that he's not the only pair of adult hands available, the combination let's his body finally relax and he is out. Either helm down on the table or crashing onto the nearest shoulder, Rodimus drops into such a deep recharge so fast the first few times it happened the crew worried he had actually fainted. And when I say out I mean out, face completely limp in exhaustion, mouth open, and snoring. Everyone in the vicinity is happy to let him recharge, Primus knows he needs it. Drift makes sure to get him a blanket, and it's not long before the triplets are lured in by the warm softness and their mother's form, getting all comfy in the little blankie nest at his side 🤭

Sorry, that Rodimus part went on waaay longer than I expected it to, I just love him sm ok 🥺

BUT HOO BOY THE NEXT ONE

Ratchet and Drift and Megatron all at roughly the same time? Damn. I feel like idw Megatron would be quietly horrified because, in his (probably correct honestly I love him but I shouldnt lie) opinion, he is not fit to be a carrier. Ratchet is crabby with Drift when he finds out, grumbling about outdated contraceptives and overly affectionate conjunx, until he's able to actually do a paternity test at Rodimus's prompting. His babies don't have a sire, so maybe...?

Ratchet is surprised and suspicious when the same turns up for him. Once is a random occurrence, twice is a coincidence, thrice makes a pattern. For the three of them to all turn up carrying at roughly the same time was already very unlikely, but for two out of the four pregnancies onboard to be asexually conceived... the chances of that happening randomly is astronomically small. He pulls Drift in for the same test, and wouldn't you know it? No sire. Same story with Megatron. When they get in contact with Cybertron, he finds they're all thankfully on the same page. Starscream had pegged it as incredibly statistically unlikely, though he hadn't had paternity tests performed to determine the lack of a sire. It's almost surreal, once said tests are done, hearing that every single one of them is expecting what is, essentially, a naturally occurring little clone of themselves.

Final closing thoughts because I've rambled enough: I'm still incredibly amused by the idea Tarn in labor, high as a kite from the epidural, tell Nickel, "Nooo don't touch my seal, that's for Lord Megatron" 😂 poor Tarn man, saved himself for all these years, only to get slapped with virgin mary syndrome and BOOM, magic baby. He gets all the pains of childbirth without even experiencing the act of conceiving the baby in the first place. Press F

[a-haunting-of-endermen]

Welp I finally cried about post-s3 Stobotnik at work today, hah. Am I part of the club now? 😭

I haven't even watched the darn movie yet, but... ofc I know what happens.

[spiffingbeansoup]

*slaps myself in the head* you can fit so much trauma in this bad boy

[thinkingabouttimdrake]

firm believer of talia being a good person cuz the debate between nature vs nurture i believe in nurture and damian us a good kid + LoA being ecoterrorists with ra appreciating the living world so much (mans literally crying when he “witness an extinction”) and being a talented sultan physician + scientist, wife guy, girldad etc

im not saying ra is a good person just that hes not cartoonishly pure evil AND HE WOULD NOTTT KILL AN ANIMAL for training purposes this mans killed his own people for harming a tiger

like he can be batman's antagonist for his methods but he doesn't have to be a pure evil person like this was one of bruce's teacher and also father in law who supported the relationship cuz he loves his daughter (i consume canon very selectively do not fight me on this i will not change my mind)

also its more interesting story wise like give them depth and dimensions i am tired of ANOTHER middle eastern old guy being the embodiment of evil like give the guy some legit reasoning, and i feel a bit meeeh with the white family saved boy from his brown family who he's had to cut off forever and so they don’t have to explore his complex cultural identity as a mixed kid (especially between two VERY different cultures the settling period was crazy cuz mans just experiencing culture shock and whiplash from the shit weather)

give damian a complex relationship between his two families like give mans some longing for his mother, happy with his dad and brothers but mans missing the days in the sun, the league’s botanical gardens, animal conservation, the food,….

conclusion: my take on the al ghuls, not crit of fanon but of canon because they made a legit awesome storyline and pulled the rug

[random-gamer1942]

I love referring to red velvet cake with white chocolate as a reshuffled chocolate cake

[geddy-leesbian]

2 + 11 for the autumn prompts for winterserra maybe?

-winterserra

Autumn prompts

"Do you want my jacket?" + Campfires at midnight

like 1300 words both prompts covered 🦀🦀🦀

"Do you want my jacket?" Ethan asks, after Rosa is bundled up in her stroller, ready to go out. “It's not too cold, I'll be fine in my hoodie.”

“You know I don't need your clothes anymore. My own fit fine now that most of the baby weight is gone.”

“I didn't ask if you needed my jacket, I asked if you wanted it.”

“Well, in that case…” Luis tries not to sound too eager. He still feels a twinge of embarrassment when he thinks back to how clingy the pregnancy made him. He went from being stubbornly independent to a fault to being downright obsessed with Ethan. He needed to wear Ethan's clothes constantly, he needed Ethan to hold him and tell him he loved him and wasn't mad at him at least a dozen times a day, he cried if Ethan had to leave the room for more than 15 minutes. While Luis still wanted to wear his fiancé's clothes, it was no longer an intense need and the thought of asking to wear them was embarrassing. He doesn't want Ethan worrying that Luis is regressing back to that suffocating level of clinginess. “If you want me to wear your jacket, I won't object.”

“How has it not gotten through your head that I like it when you wear my clothes? I was almost living the dream that month you only wanted to wear my hoodies. I know you were miserable most of the time, that was the only bad part. I like you in my clothes even more now that you're finally feeling like yourself again.”

“Okay, okay! You win!” Luis quickly slips on Ethan's jacket. “I'll wear your jacket all night, maybe one of your tops when we go to bed. Now can we finally get going?”

“One more thing, honey,” Ethan holds Luis's hands while he talks, probably both to comfort him and make sure Luis doesn't try bolting to avoid a difficult topic. “Are you sure this is a good idea? The fire? I still feel bad about the candles I lit that made you–”

The candles that made Luis have a panic attack and run to hide under their bed, causing Ethan to have to lift the bed up after he had a few minutes to calm down because he couldn't get out from under it. Not his finest moment.

“Oh my god, do not remind me!” Luis shouts to cut Ethan off. “Look, that was a one-off. I'd just gotten back from Leon's grave so those old wounds were raw, I felt like shit physically from how pregnant I was and how much walking I did, and I felt like shit emotionally because it was the first time in my life I had felt completely helpless and vulnerable. Perfect storm of things, the candles were only able to push me over the edge because I was already having a rough time. I can handle fire fine when I'm not hanging on by a thread.”

“I don't want you just grinning and bearing something that makes you uncomfortable. You know everyone will understand if we change plans and don't do a bonfire.”

“I'll be fine, really.”

“... Okay.”

-

Ethan pushes the stroller through the yard to the clearing where their friends were waiting, Luis of course stays right by Ethan's side while they walk. Both are smiling, excited to show off their little miracle.

Claire was the only one who had already seen Rosa, having been there the day she was born. But she's brand new to Sherry and Chris. Chris does look at her for a moment, but seems awkward and unsure of what to do, so he quickly shifts his attention back to the fire he was building. Sherry is more at ease, kneeling down by the stroller to get a closer look at Rosa and fawn over how cute she is.

Ethan and Luis sit down on a fallen log serving as a makeshift bench, with the stroller within reach. Once Chris gets a lighter out, Ethan holds one of Luis's hands and wraps his arm around him. Luis really isn't bothered by the fire, but he still accepts the touch, leaning against Ethan's body. Ethan feels slightly tense against him. Those overprotective dad instincts. Every meetup involving Claire has put him on edge since that argument they'd had that led to Ethan yelling at Claire and telling her to get out. Luis had forgiven her quickly, and Ethan tried to move on, but couldn't forget that night. Ethan was still nice to Claire and didn't let his negative feelings show, but the trust he had in Claire before that was shattered and would take time to really rebuild. Luis isn't sure how he feels about it overall. He does love and trust Claire and wishes Ethan could have a similar relationship to her, but a small part of him is very attracted to how protective Ethan can be and the way he's held a grudge against Claire just for saying something that upset Luis.

Once the fire really gets going, Claire sets up some food on the table, hotdogs and marshmallows to roast, and a few things to go with them. Seemingly satisfied that Luis is okay and not going to have a panic attack, Ethan lets go of him. Luis was hungry, but so was Rosa.

“Hey, Ethan?” Luis says, reaching to get Rosa out of the stroller, and then the bottle of formula in the handle's cup holder that Ethan had prepared just before they went out, knowing she'd be hungry. “Roast some marshmallows for me while I feed her?”

“Of course.”

Ethan roasts a couple marshmallows, makes sure they've cooled enough not to burn Luis's tongue, then holds one up to his mouth.

“That was not what I had in mind,” Luis says after swallowing the last of the marshmallow. “I figured you'd just roast them and hand me the stick when I was done with Rosa. But I'm not complaining!”

Ethan continues hand feeding Luis marshmallows until Rosa finishes her bottle. Luis doesn't put her back in the stroller yet, but tells Ethan he's full and he should get himself something to eat.

The group sits around the campfire for a couple hours, laughing and talking. Claire and Sherry are just as excited about Rosa, wanting to know everything about her. Chris is quiet, but Ethan and Luis don't say anything, assuming it's most likely something he won't want to talk about.

Claire, Chris, and Sherry leave around midnight, leaving the new little family unit alone.

“It's getting late,” Ethan points out. “We should go inside.”

“A little bit longer, mi amor?” Luis pleads. “Rosa is fine, sleeping good, fire has her toasty.”

“I'm so bad at telling you no,” Ethan mutters under his breath. “I'm glad you're enjoying the fire. I was really worried it was going to upset you.”

“My relationship with fire is… Complicated. When I was really young, fire was a good thing. Fire was what kept us warm in the winter. Fire was what gave us light to read books inside. Fire was what cooked the food we ate. Then my grandfather died–” Luis pauses to collect himself, choking down a sob. “And fire was bad. It destroyed his body, destroyed our home. That was the night I left. I avoided fire after that. Then I had to go on the run from Umbrella, and hiding out back in the village was the best choice. Fire was unavoidable. The village was more modern than when I left, but still very reliant on it. I had a secret lab in the castle with no windows or electric lights. Fire was good again. By candlelight, I came up with a medication that would suppress the growth of the parasite. And then… I've told you about what happened with that lab once, I can't tell you again.”

“Yeah, I remember,” Ethan hugs Luis to try to comfort him. “I'm sorry I brought fire up again, I shouldn't have said anything that could get you talking like this.”

“It's okay,” Luis does his best to give Ethan a reassuring smile. “Like I said, it's complicated. For every horrific memory I have about fire, I have several positive memories of it. And now I have another good memory to add to the pile.”