#i might post more once this weekend is over for reasons forever unknown to you my fronglets

[frongle444]

Take me to church, I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies.

[deepperplexity]

Title: A Bludger To The Heart [pt.4]

A/N: Part 4 of A Bludger To The Heart as requested by @darkthought15​ , @witch-of-reblogs​ & @prinlee​ :D

[Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3]

Imagine prompt by: @boodalinski-gifs​ "Imagine Severus meeting his future s/o when they (being a younger Malfoy relative) accompany Lucius to see Draco's quidditch match."

Pairing: Snape x Female!Malfoy!OC

Setting: London -> Rome

POV: Third limited, Snape tilt.

Word Count: 5041

Warnings: Harsh language, mentions of previous violence, violence, blood, abuse

Ending recap: "What, what do we do about Rovius?" she asked with a shaky voice and Severus stiffened ever so slightly. "He's not to be taken lightly. You are aware of his connections and status. And I fear, he will use that to find you." "I know, he's, he's not a man that lets things go. Ever," she whispered and her thin arms shook as she clung to him. "I won't let him have you." The words were as clear as the first light of dawn on a winter morning after the darkest of nights.

He would live by them forever. He would live by her side, for her and with her for as long as she allowed him to be. If the day came, when she did not want him any longer, he knew he would be ruined and ended at that moment. But for the time being, he allowed hope to enter his heart and love to fill the empty void she had once left him with.

Masterlist page // Masterlist post

After a short stop in London at a small motel, where Severus went out to buy two sets of clothes for Arabella, they headed off to Rome. Now, you may think Severus had never been to such a place as Rome - or anywhere else for that matter - but he was, in fact, a quite well-travelled man. All the world held ingredients for potions and he was not aversed to some travelling to acquire them.

They had set up in a small apartment in a quaint little area at the outskirts of Rome. The people were friendly, the food was excellent, the architecture stunning and the weather... Well, the weather was a slight problem for him. The heat, the fucking heat was killing the poor man.

But Arabella revelled in it. Sundresses, shorts, skirts, crop tops, blouses and sandals. She wore it all and looked absolutely stunning as the bruises had healed, her body was filling out again, her hair shined and her sunkissed skin was flecked with little freckles. She was the picture of joy, again. As she had been when he met her.

Or, actually, no, she was more joy now than ever. A constant smile on her lips, that high pitched singsong voice always lulling on some tune, her body near always in a swaying motion and she seemed as perfect as a sunrise over the horizon of the Mediterranean sea.

He was enthralled by her. She occupied nearly all his thoughts and dreams. It had been such a long time since he had nightmares now that he was more rested than he could ever remember. It was strange, a strange feeling to actually wake up in the morning and be rested.

"Honey," Arabella called as she stepped into the little apartment as dusk settled and made the white walls shine in golden light and the second-hand furniture looked perfect for the place. Severus smiled at hearing her voice. "Here," he called back from the living room just two steps from the entrance.

"Look," she said with excitement and held up a basket of groceries and on the top were parmesan and mozzarella cheeses resting. She looked happy as could be. "Lasagna?" he asked and she nodded excitedly. He sighed but smiled and rose from the chair while folding away his paper. "Come on, you prep, I will cook. WE don't want another accident like the pancakes," he said with a tender voice before he kissed her cheek softly and grabbed the basket.

She giggled and sang along to the music that drifted in from the many open windows as he layered the lasagna before topping it off with a huge amount of cheese. "A little more?" Arabella asked as she wrapped her arms around him from behind and rose on her tippy-toes to kiss his exposed neck. "More?" he asked on a drawl and arched a brow. She just giggled and nodded. He sighed and added another handful of parmesan and another handful of mozzarella slices. "Yay," she giggled and let him go to et the table out on the tiny little balcony now that the sun had gone down and Severus could actually be out there. Without melting.

"You are beautiful when you eat," Severus said as he put his cutlery down and just watched his love devour one of her many favourite dishes. She looked up with a puzzled look. "I mean it." And he truly did. She had her body back, her smile and that joy in her eyes he loved deeply. "I love your food," she said and took another mouthful, "you know I do," she continued and he arched his brow. "Sorry," she mumbled still with food in her mouth. A habit Severus actually could not stand. He gave her a small smile.

After they had cleaned up they both ended up out on the balcony. Arabella with a glass of red wine and Severus with a tumbler of whiskey infused with cinnamon and a hint of ash wood. They sipped as his free hand stroked her back softly. She hummed as his cool hand chilled her and he could not help but kiss the top of her head.

"Are you happy, darling?" he asked silently. His voice was barely a murmuring whisper. She looked up at him from the side. Her eyes twinkled and her smile was as wide as it could be. "Very, honey love," she said back and reached up to stroke his still pale cheek. The touch made him shudder. With delight. As did her words for him.

He sat down the tumbler and wrapped her up in his arms from behind as they watched the city fold-out beneath them. Lights twinkled and the town bussed with joy and song as the weekend took over. They stood there for a long time and just watched, enjoyed the calm and the cool night that gave them a short time to breathe before the next day would come with burning heat once more.

"When will you allow me to see you, Severus?" she asked as dawn graced the world and they laid in bed, wrapped around each other. "What do you mean?" he asked as he kissed her forehead lightly. His voice a bit gravelly from the night and she sat up. The cover billowed around her waist and he marvelled at her beauty in the mornings golden light.

"You know what I mean. There is not an inch of me you have not discovered, touch, seen or kissed, honey love. But I, I have not seen all of you. Nor touched or kissed you all over as you have done to me," she whispered and her voice broke ever so slightly on the last word. He sat up, his white nightshirt hung loosely around him as the worn cotton had stretched over the many years he had owned it.

"Darling, I-" "Don't you trust me?" she asked in a hurt tone. He smiled softly as he looked at her beautiful face. "I trust you, completely." He stroked her cheek gently. "However," he continued, "I am not, how to put it, so unkind as to hurt you in that way," he said and his eyes fell away from her. He had never been ashamed of his scars, but he was not happy about them and he knew that Arabella would be hurt by his revoltingly marked skin should she see it. He felt it, in his gut, for some reason unknown to him.

"Severus, love, please. It, it hurts to not know you." He looked at her as she pleaded with him. She pulled at the strings at the top of the shirt. "I do not want to hurt you," he said again, "and I fear you may, may not feel for me as you do now if you saw me clearly." There, I've said it, my silly feelings of insecurity in being with a beauty such as you, he thought and the feeling that gnawed at him developed elongated canines to dig deeper with.

"Severus, love," she leaned closer and kissed his hooked nose, "you are perfect in all ways. I know what you look like, I have seen you in tight clothes you know," she smirked and kissed him on the lips. He chuckled but sighed. "Oh Severus, please stop this nonsense. You're perfect just as you are." He arched a brow expertly and huffed ever so slightly.

She straddled him swiftly and he laid on his back, one hand on each of her soft thighs. "Let me be close to you," she whispered as the birds chirped, a man called out about selling bread and women chattered joyfully outside the open windows. But Severus felt dread and fear. Not joy. Despite Arabella, in all her naked glory, straddling him in the mornings light.

"I won't change my opinion of you, all I want is to be close. I just, just want you to let me love you all the way. Like I allow you," she said softly as she completely opened the neck of his nightshirt. He swallowed, small beads of sweat misted his skin - from her touch, her words and the damned Italian heat. "Say you love me," he said and she smiled. "I love you, more than anything." He sighed and nodded.

She climbed off him as he sat up. His hands shook as his heart pounded. Nobody had ever seen his upper body. He had revealed his marks to no person and now that he was about to, he felt uncomfortable, to say the least. He was nervous and almost afraid. Or it was a feeling that resembled fear at least.

"Severus, I love you, all of you. No matter what," she said softly and he grabbed the hem of the shirt. He pulled it up and over his head in one swift motion and avoided to look at Arabella with all his might as he heard her gasp. It hurt more than he had thought it could as she started to sob beside him.

"Severus, honey love, what happened to you?" she whispered ever so softly as her hand landed gently on his scared back. She sobbed as her fingers trailed the countless marks that made his skin uneven. "Tell me, talk to me. Please," she said as her fingers kept trailing the marks. He shuddered and closed his eyes. She does not hate you, she is not running away, she is not running away, he thought as a tear rolled down his cheek. He was so relieved.

"It was many years ago, I was young and unable to defend or heal myself," he said in a low murmur. "My father, well, let us just say he consumed rather large amounts of alcohol and the brew did not make him kind," he continued as her hand kept stroking his back as he sat leaning forward. "He was not a soft or gentle man," he said and cleared his throat slightly. "But it was a long time ago, darling. He is since long gone from my life and I prefer to keep it that way." Arabella's hand landed on his shoulder and he finally took the courage to look at her.

"Why did you hide this from me?" "I did not want to hurt you, or, make you run away from me," he said and she huffed. "Severus, I fell in love with you, not your body or skin. Although, it might have had a little to do with it..." Her cheeks blushed, "I don't think I'll ever forget that tight frock coat or that billowing cloak... The cravat the hid your throat, I wanted to rip it off..." Severus brow arched and she giggled.

"Severus, I love you, I'm not running away and I am so happy that you've finally given yourself to me, fully." "Arabella," he said and leaned back while he pulled her on top of himself, "I love you and I am yours, fully. Always," he said and she caressed his lightly haired chest where cigarette burns and belt scars marked him. "Love me," she whispered before their lips met and he hummed as joy overtook him once more. For she had not left, had not hated his appearance and above all she still loved him. So he did as she wished, and loved her until breakfast turned to brunch.

He put away his coffee cup, where is she? He rose from the chair in the living room. The sun stood high on the sky and he huffed. The heat really did not agree with him despite it the fact it had been nearly two months since they came to Rome.

"Where is she..?" he mumbled as he looked at the clock on the wall. Nearly two in the afternoon and she had never come back for lunch and Arabella never missed a chance at eating his cooking. He was a bit worried, actually, as he stepped out on the balcony. The sun fried him yet he stood there, looking out in his white cotton shirt and grey cotton trousers, his feet bare against the stone floors.

"Mrs. Cutillo!" he called as a lady in a floral dressed passed down on the street. "Ah, Mr. Snápe," she called back with an Italian accent. "Have you seen my woman?" he called back, "Ara-bella, si?" "Yes, Arabella, have you seen her?" he called and she smiled. "Si, the markétt," she answered with a smile and Severus took a deep breath. "With gentleman, molto bello gentleman!" she called with a mischievous grin. Severus stiffened. "Italian?" "Ah, nono, English," she answered and a lump formed in Severus's stomach.

He had socks and shoes on in an instant and ran down the many stairs and out on the street. "Where, Mrs. Cutillo, where at the market?" he asked as he panted slightly. "Ah, eh, frutta, eh, fruit," the lady said and Severus thanked her before he took off running. He could not risk using apparition among muggles. Arabella, Arabella, please, be there, be there... His thoughts went wild as he took shortcuts, jumped a fence, ducked under laundry and squeezed through a narrow pathway.

The market was buzzing with people, everywhere there were people despite the heat and the blasted sun. He looked for the fruit section as he looked for Arabella at the same time. His heart pounded, fear that Dox had found them filled him as he desperately looked for his love.

He stopped for a moment, in the middle of the fruit stands. Sweat dripped down his neck and face. His hair was moist and the damn sun shined in his eyes as he looked and looked for Arabella. But he could not see her anywhere. Her platinum blond hair should have stood out among the rest.

His heart pounded and it felt as if he could not breathe. "Where are you?" he mumbled as he spun around. That's when he saw her, she disappeared in between to walls, pulled by a pale hand. He was running before his mind caught up.

"No, let go, let me go!" Her voice echoed towards him and he ran faster despite barely being able to push down enough air in his tight lungs. "You, belong to me!" The voice of Rovius Dox echoed after hers and ice filled his veins despite the damn heat. It made him think more clearly, made all other things fall away as he reached the place they had gone in.

It was a tiny pathway between to builds and he managed to squeeze through as Arabella cried out in pain before the distinct noise of a body hitting the ground echoed towards him. "Rovius, stop!" she screamed as her voice was half choked. "You little bitch!" And at that moment Severus managed to get them in his field of view.

Arabella laid on the ground, her hair tousled and tears streamed down her cheeks. Dox stood by her, his chest heaved and anger seemed to fill his body by the looks of it. That's when Arabella caught site of him, Severus. His face was stone cold. His eyes burned with rage. His fists clenched as he took one step towards them.

"Severus," Arabella whimpered and that was when he saw the broken lip. His body stiffened. He had made a promise; to never let that man lay a hand on her again. That she would never be within his reach ever again. He had failed her. His mind went blank as his hands stayed fisted.

Dox looked up, his eyes hooked on to Severus as his anger seemed to amplify. "You," he growled as he started to march towards Severus, "you stole my wife!" Severus did all he could to stay still, hid his emotions as best he could and kept his eyes solely on Dox - the furious man getting ever closer.

Severus had but a mere moment to come up with a plan. The rage that roared through him made it near impossible to think as all that filled his mind were Arabella. His beloved. But Severus had not survived for so long without wits and quick thinking. He had not been playing the Dark Lord, deceiving the Dark Lord, for years without his ability to react properly to any given situation without hesitation.

Severus chuckled and placed his hand behind his back so as to give a more relaxed appearance. "Surely, a man such as myself would have no hold over such a beauty," he said to Dox in a way of throwing the man's own words back at him. Dox stopped a mere three steps from him. "You stole my wife," he hissed, "she belongs to me. Forever." Severus allowed himself to half-smile at the man. "Well, it appears, " he said in a low hum of a voice, "she finds herself belonging to no man. Least of all you," he continued while holding the man's gaze.

His purpose was clear. Draw the lunatic's attention, keep him from Arabella and find a way to get rid of him once and for all if possible. His plan seemed to be working as Dox shook with anger. "I will have your life," Dox growled as he was seemingly unable to control his emotions as Severus could. "I would not wager on that," Severus replied as a small grin crossed his lips. It seemed to throw Dox out of balance as he blinked. The man was obviously not used to not getting his way.

"You filthy old-" "Careful, Mr Dox. Do not forget to whom you are speaking," Severus warned as his face hardened and his lips turned to a thin line. Dox laughed. "Oh, I'm not forgetting, you old traitor. I'm not forgetting at all and I know many will salute me for ending your life," Dox said as wickedness gleamed in his dead eyes, "I will end you and then I will have my way with the girl and end her!"

Dox reached for his wand as Severus did the same. Pure fury boiled in him as the words sent him into a fit of rage. Arabella was his to love, his to cherish and his to protect. The volatile lunatic in front of him would not ever again lay a hand on his beloved. If it so was the last thing Severus ever did he would see to that.

They battled, lightning of magic shot from their wands as they tried to finish each other. Severus was quick on his feet, quicker with his curses and even faster at blocking Dox's attacks. Arabella screamed, Severus attacked and Dox flew back a few feet before thudding to the ground. Severus straightened as he slowly walked towards the fallen lunatic.

"Severus," Arabella whimpered as he was right at her side. He lowered himself to check on her before he was to check on Dox. He made a mistake. The moment he was hunched down by Arabella's side he heard Dox scream a spell and he had a mere second to react as he shielded Arabella with his own body.

The spell hit him and his ribs broke. He felt the cracking yet all he could think of was Arabella's safety as she screamed his name beneath him. For a moment he could not move. For a moment he was panting in pain. For a moment he could not rise and attack. He felt Dox's hand around the collar of his shirt as the man yanked at the fabric. But Severus was heavier than he probably had assumed. Or you're just used to throwing woman around you pathetic piece of shit!

Severus spun around and his clenched fist landed with a cracking noise over Dox's nose bridge. He felt the breaking of the man's nose as he hit. Dox stumbled back. Severus was on his feet quicker than a house-elf could snap its fingers. He landed another blow to Dox's jaw, a third to his ribs and the fourth he pounded against his throat.

Severus was panting, Dox was stumbling and moaning. Arabella whimpered and cried. "You, do not, get to touch her." Severus's words were final. Absolute. Dox coughed and blood splattered the cobblestone beneath their feet. You, are through," he continued with a thundering voice that was low yet seemed to be screamed at the same time. He took a step towards Dox who straightened and that wickedness was gleaming in his eyes yet again. But this time it was paired with fear and anger.

"I will have her," he said with a bloodstained mouth, "I will have her and you can do nothing about it." Those words were enough for Severus to launch himself at the man. The fell backwards, Severus landed atop the volatile man and his fist made contact with all the places he could reach. He pounded and hit, over and over. Until Arabella clung to him and tried to pull him away.

"Severus! Severus, please! Stop!" she screamed with cry-muddled voice. A ringing of panic seemed to accompany her voice and Severus ended the pounding of the bloody heap that was Rovius Dox. He turned toward his love and engulfed her in his arms after he had stood up. She shook, he did as well. She cried, his heart pounded violently. His fist ached and they were covered in blood that stained Arabella's hair and dress as he held her.

"I love you," I love you, I love, you, I love you," she cried into his chest and he held her tighter. "I love you," he murmured into her hair. At that moment Dox coughed and Severus spun around, how are you not dead? The bloody heap coughed again and Severus saw him fumble for his wand that laid several feet away. Oh no, you don't, he thought as he stepped on Dox's wrist. The man moaned as Severus leaned and added more weight to his foot.

"You, will not, touch her, again." Severus pressed even harder and the bloody heap both moaned and coughed. "Severus, stop, let's just go," Arabella cried as she pulled on his arm, "he can't do anything anymore," she continued and Severus gave the bloody heap a disgusted sneer but stepped away. He grabbed Arabella's arm and pulled her towards him. "Come," he said and started walking towards the way they had entered. She hurried along closely pressed against his side.

As they were almost at the opening between the two buildings, ready to leave the bloody scene, Severus heard the unmistakable sound of twisting and moving of a wounded body. He turned and pulled his wand just as Dox had grabbed his own and directed it's tip towards them. Without hesitation, he cast the Sectumsempra spell and Dox cried out in agony before Severus silenced him with Muffliato.

"I am sorry," he said to Arabella, "but this will never stop," he whispered as he kissed her forehead. Arabella whimpered, her eyes were red and a strand of blood had seeped from her broken lip and down her jaw. Some bruises had started to form over her temple, jaw and around her neck where Dox had obviously grabbed her harshly. It only made Severus's rage burn brighter.

A slight nod was all she gave him and he walked over in long strides to the silenced man bleeding from every part of his body. "This won't hurt," he mumbled as he pointed his wand at the man, "I promise." He focused on the terrified eyes that stared back at him. He had no choice, he knew that. He looked over his shoulder towards Arabella who stared at the scene. "Turn around love," he said softly and she obliged as new tears streamed down her face.

"Let us find out what you have been up to," he said and non verbally cast the Legilimens spell to enter the volatile lunatic's mind to figure out how many new about Arabella's whereabouts and his own involvement in her disappearance. He would need that information to protect her and keep her hidden.

Flashes of memories passed him, Dox was not good at Occlumency and his damaged state made him weak. Severus could easily penetrate the man's mind and see it all. He saw things he never wished to see. Beat up women, bloody chains, riding crops whipping, chocking hands and lights that left several women eyes. His own stomach twisted as the Bellatrix seemed like a kindergarten teacher compared to Rovius Dox.

Flashes of Arabella tied to a pole, stripped naked and bruised, filled his sight. Her starved body. Ribs sticking out and her face beaten severely as she hung limply only upright thanks to the ropes around her wrists. Dox's laughter, his despicable hands touching her delicate skin. He wanted to throw up.

Several memories just like that one passed him and then came the memories he was searching for. Just as he could barely take it anymore. The man's head was a hideous place and Severus did truly not want to be in it.

Dox was talking to Lucius, mentioning Italy and Severus himself. But nothing that gave away their location or Severus attachment to Arabella. Just that they both had disappeared at the same time. Lucius defended Severus, oddly enough, and said to Dox that he often travelled during summer to secure new ingredients and potion precipice. But in Dox mind he knew that man had not been fooled, the question was why Lucius had defended him?

Another memory, Dox was sat by his desk, a heap of papers strew out over the desk's surface. Severus could glimpse Arabella's name. Marriage certificate, a will as well. Dox was amending it. 'Should I perish, nothing shall be given to my wife. All will be awarded to my sister. My wife, Arabella Dox, should be left with nothing but what she had when our marriage was started...' Severus read over Dox's shoulder and gave the will disgusted sneer. Not only was the man abusing her in life but he would also leave her broke and damaged in his death. Bastard, Severus thought.

Another memory swirled into place. Dox was talking to the Dark Lord. A stone as cold as ice form in Severus's gut. Dox seemed to be trying is hardest to persuade the Dark Lord of his treachery and lies. Of him stealing Dox's wife and working for the Order while preventing him from seeing his own wife. Severus was anxiously waiting for the Dark Lord to speak but he seemed merely annoyed by the vulgar man that took up his time.

The Dark Lord finally answered that he did not doubt about Severus or his allegiance. Something eased in Severus's stomach as the Dark Lord spoke to Dox about Severus aromantic inclination (no matter how false that was) and his age in comparison to Arabella's. He also, apparently, deemed fit to speak of Severus's demanding life and his many services to the Dark Lord himself before - and Severus had to admit he enjoyed this part - he used Crucio on Dox and then commanded he never speak in such a way to him again.

The last memory Severus witnessed was Dox making a complete mess of his office. In a fit of rage, he smashed furniture, ripped curtains and threw whatever ornaments he could get his filthy hands on. He seemed utterly enranged and a complete raving lunatic. Severus merely watched as Dox's office door opened and a young girl, barely 17, stepped in. Severus grew cold again as Dox wickedly smiled at the young girl who seemed to be working as a staff member; judging by her attire.

Severus could not bear to watch the rest of the memory after Dox had beckoned the girl over with those dead eyes gleaming off hatred. He knew all too well what would follow and what that girl would endure. So he stepped out of Dox's mind. His stomach twisting and knots formed as bile rose in his mouth. He barely had time to turn his head from the bloody heap of a man on the ground before he threw up. The memories filled him and forced his body to bend. He heaved until there was nothing left to rid his stomach of.

"You despicable, filthy, abhorrent animal," he growled as he straightened. He could barely look at Dox without his stomach turning inside him. "You will forget her, you will only remember that you married and felt it wasn't right to take her beauty from the world. You will remember that you got a divorce and you will never wish to see or speak to her again," he growled as he pointed his wand at the man.

Severus did not wish to admit it but he wanted to end the miserable lifeform. Spare the world of hideous existence. Yet, he could not risk going to Azkaban nor risk the wrath of the Dox family; or the Dark Lord. So he did what he was excellent at. He used Obliviate to adjust Dox's memory and left only what was necessary for the man to function properly and no trace leading anyone back to himself or Arabella. "Obliviate," he said quietly and the tip of his wand glowed faintly in silver as it sucked out the memories.

Severus turned to Arabella as Dox's eyes looked blank and confused. "Stay here," he said to the back of her head and then he grabbed Dox by the arm and apparated outside Malfoy manner. He merely had time to let go before he apparated back to Rome and Arabella. As the little swoosh was heard she turned towards him.

Her face was swollen, her eyes red and clouded with sadness. He walked towards her and she ran into his arms. He caught her and held her firmly. She started sobbing and her knees went week so he held her up. "Is he gone? Truly gone?" she asked through a sob, Severus nodded and kissed the top of her head. "He is, love. He is," he said ever so softly and she cried violently. He silently held her as tears of his own rolled down his cheeks. Perhaps now they could finally just be a couple?

Hey guys! :D Hope you enjoyed this fourth part of A Bludger To The Heart - please tell me what you think and don't forget to heart if you liked it! :D It means so much to me and really makes me happy! :D

Anyway, this part was FUN to write no matter how horrible it was for Arabella and dear Severus. I hope you enjoyed the justice that was served (to the volatile lunatic by our beloved Severus) and that you wish to read a fifth part as I have one planned! I got a request to have a little marriage ceremony for our dear couple and I feel like we need some love to end this rollercoaster ride - so perhaps there will be a wedding (maybe not, we'll see) but what is absolutely certain is that there will be plenty of love - and other things... O.O <3

Also, I do take requests :D 

Masterlist page // Masterlist post

Taglist: @lizlil​

[tripstaysnoided]

Flow Just Like Water

Story and writing-related transparency update and my many shames...

The Question on Everyone’s Mind

“Hey you haven’t updated No Stars over Uptown in almost a year...”

Hmm, I hate it when you’re right. (This section has been rewritten ad-nauseam to curb back the bitchiness by the way)

So back in early/mid 2018, the idea was to divorce Uptown from a person who influenced it (and myself) heavily. She was my most important audience member, the closest friend I ever had, and unfortunately someone who used her power to bully, ostracize, and hurt others with my help. I cut contact when the hurt + some self-awareness finally reached me. Apologies were made and I feel like my work will never be done with it, but there was still Uptown.

Between censored comments, entirely recasting Axel’s save, different plot threads, and a load of disclaimers, there was nothing that would scrub her influence from the story. There was no way to cleanly drop everything because of how deep her influence went. It disgusted me to look back at it, and I had to private the blog because I feared what it endorsed, even if just in the past.

I pulled back from that sims writing community. I had its main thread on the Official Forums removed too (I guess if that was a mystery to anyone). It was a surrender that I never wanted to do, but I had it in my mind that if I was gone, then she wouldn’t be there either. Uptown became this cursed item, and as I quietly retired it, I noticed that she went quieter too. Not gone, but enough to make me sleep easier at night and even occasionally say hello to old friends.

And I hope deep in my heart that no one else is getting hurt in my place, but now this is gonna haunt me all day huh!

The two paths forward...

1) Complete Uptown rewrite that I’ve been threatening everyone with all year. While it won’t ever be clean because I can’t undo time, I do have a sound outline for a story that is much more true to my actual vision and how I’ve evolved, with a few necessary boundaries in place that are going to be there for all stories moving forward: no more casting calls and no more collaborative efforts. I am not going to open myself up to this happening again, even if the people have changed.

2) Same as above, but I continue the original Uptown as a favor to loyal readers alongside the rewrite. I would try to put the effort into it that I initially did, but with no promises on an update schedule and no advertising. I did ask myself “is there Patreon but without pledging money, just the private posts function” but it could operate as part of a private forum, a members-only part of a website, etc.

Also readers of the original would be beholden to a rule of “don’t spoil the rewrite for new readers, c’mon guys”. I mean, not really, but it is a good courtesy to extend to people.

Priority on this isn’t high but you at least will see what is!

I will probably make the blog public again either way due to the many broken links on my Tumblr but we’ll see. There are other things to deal with as I shall list!

Where Life’s Been Regardless

Been spending more time with my grandpa every weekend. Life’s pretty good and he’s warming up to my dogs.

Shiny New Webbed Site

Cucumber Fields Forever is a site I own now. We have a full domain, cucumberfieldsforever.com, a blog with one post, and the framework needed to host stories the way I want to and still through WordPress. The functionality of likes, comments, and following should still be the same but you know...I’ll take feedback too...

The main blog still has an undefined purpose though I do have drafts sitting around about:

The maybe/maybe not hoax band that was on the Metal Archives and the history of Funeral Doom Metal.

The curious case of when Sims 4 babies get their genetics and my only collaboration (read: was talking about it with a friend and might quote her if needed, it’s actually a bit of a doozy)

Amazon.com’s fake dried udon noodles, an actual issue by the way.

Things I’m reading! (This’d be a monthly feature if so)

For the sake of unity, I am thinking of solutions for hosting old and shameful content there including Uptown and for the real fans in my followers feed, Eight Cicadas...a world I totally have plans for too (not really). I don’t want them to be front-and-center, and that’s why I mentioned forums/members-only content. I finally have that power! Maybe.

Ooooh but what are the costs? Not too much to handle, that’s what. 😉 (Like really, I don’t need any hand-wringing about this, I can manage my finances)

Project Queue (In Order of Confirmedness)

Outrun the Scythe: have you seen me post out-of-context Sims 3 pictures? Did you want more? Did you hope it was Linda in Custody? If the answers are yes, yes, and “meh, whatever you want”, then you’re in luck.

Outrun the Scythe is a Sims 3-based tale of a young gay man and his zombie grandma, as they are both offered separate roles of being the undying intermediaries between the world of humans and the influence of a race of space daemons. It’s pretty familiar if you’ve been following me pre-Uptown, taking some cues from stories I’ve kept under lock and key like Eight Cicadas, The Chains of Lyra, and the not-so-locked-up Ironstar Immortals (of which Outrun is just the direct sequel to sans any retconning...ah the smell of early 2013 and performative heterosexuality)

Ah, back to my roots.

It’s a hybrid of gameplay, story, and lore about my little race of daemons with a lot of my own idiosyncrasies that I’m not really ashamed of: basing it off a super-polarizing Sims 3 challenge from a site I moderate, using a lot of EA’s pre-made townies and their genes, lots of unnecessary posemaking, stupid references. It’s a comfort to have in my roster.

While the first few chapters are in the middle of revision, I have around six in the queue and will be making this public when I have ten. I’m guessing December then?

Undocumented Black Widow Challenge: I just did this for fun/forum kudos (yes, in fact I have joined many forums), there was going to be a short story but it was quickly becoming something against my code of ethics. I mean, sims die and all. (read: I had to choose between “heterosexual widow” and “widow with some same-sex marriages that still end in tragedy, reinforcing negative stereotypes to the public for the sake of me not getting bored and detached during gameplay” so there were no good choices. Except for her affair with the mailwoman, 10/10) I hope to finish this before October ends and get my medal on Boolprop, I’m pretty far through it all. I might upload the sims involved anyways. This is for TS4.

I mentioned it because it’s keeping me busy. But not for long!

NaNoWriMo 2020: Dipping my toes into that again! It’s not sims-related, just a tale of lesbians, nosy neighbors, a haunted beach house, and some light murder and kidnapping. And I actually got my brother to scout out locations for me this weekend. If there’s any demand, I can share chapters as the rough drafts are finished, especially for the sake of proofreading.

Not saying I’m publishable, but wouldn’t it be nice? Will keep me occupied for much of November.

Untitled “Dear Diary” Challenge: Tired of feeling left out of the fun on the Boolprop forums, their “Dear Diary” challenge was the one that appealed to me the most on first glance. Why? Probably once I found an idea that let it be set in the early/mid-2000′s to begin with and explore some interesting characters through diary entries (which I have mixed feelings on as a literary device but I think that’s just me saying “well I didn’t like Dracula”, yes you get bonus points for writing it like a diary)

Also writing is the one skill I’m good at across multiple games. Wanna hear me bitch about the cooking skill tree in TS4 or riding in TS3? I’ll spare you.

I guess I could have included “spending time on Boolprop with old and new friends” in where my life has been. It’s a nice lil community if also a place with its own idiosyncrasies as well. So it doesn’t feel like I’m promoting another community if/when I make a thread there for Outrun the Scythe, I want to have a couple chapters of this ready to go by Outrun’s release, though it’s not gonna be the highest priority compared to it nor as long because I think I can blast through the gameplay quickly.

This one will be played in TS4 due to it having the easiest writing skill/I dunno variety is the spice of life. And hopefully another December release.

Defunded or Forgotten?: Oh shit I actually released stuff in 2020 and told no one? I do have a “mortifying ordeal of being known” sinking feeling whenever I get a site hit because it’s not my best work (but good enough) and veered sharply into issues I may be over my head in, though I try to be a good noodle with research and listening. Maybe hiding is bad after all.

Being based off a very flawed and incomplete Sims 3 challenge I found in the annals of the Official Forums, there’s a lot of behind-the-scenes work just making sense of things. And I’m scared of working on reconstructing the house but I haven’t abandoned the project yet. The story has eight chapters so far and is pretty game-based with some additions here and there. Scared of how long it could be though!

Date for this unknown.

Untitled Sunlit Tides Decadynasty: another year-long abandoned TS3 project with a much stupider reason why. Last update was about Hua getting ready for her wedding, and I wanted to do some poses for a bait-and-switch wedding chapter because to put it mildly, her real one was an absolute disaster.

Blender decided to fuck up its interface again, I got discouraged (this probably does account for some of the Uptown delays too), and when I decided to plow forward, it was for other projects instead.

Meanwhile I played all the way to Gen 5′s teenhood and the only thing stopping me is time (it takes almost 30 minutes to load the file right now, though they’ll be looking at moving towns in a couple gens) and maybe fear of the Logic skill.

Date for this also unknown but it’s easy to pump out updates once I’m in the groove for it. My third heir had a difficult life so maybe I’m just trying to bury it.

Also I just noticed the view count there was really good and probably because I linked it here on Tumblr last year. Thank you so much guys. I can’t really fret over views on Carl’s forum these days thanks to the years-long death spiral pretty much every forum anywhere has been riding on. But it’s a nice surprise. And it’s an alright little challenge recap to read during your lunch break or whatever.

The Wawas

I figured I’d end on the real news everyone wants! Both the chihuahuas are a year and a half now and reached their adult size around a year ago. For the most part, they are happy and healthy dogs.

[cruelangelstheses]

with quiet courage

fandom: coraline rating: G characters: coraline, wybie words: 2.1k additional tags: canon compliant, post-canon, fluff, angst, mental health issues, character study description: years later, wybie gives coraline a gift. a/n: hi, this was written for the @ethereal-zine! i just thought it would be interesting to explore the long-term effects that the whole ordeal with the other world could have on coraline’s mental health. title from “with quiet courage” by larry daehn

read it on ao3

—

Something feels...wrong.

She can’t explain it, can’t even fully comprehend it herself, but the house feels different tonight, like it’s just waiting for the right moment to pounce. Every creak sends chills down her spine. This isn’t right.

Coraline glances out the kitchen window at their garden, but finds that she can’t really see it, despite the fact that the moon is close to full, last time she checked. She raises her gaze to the sky, squinting in confusion, and her heart nearly stops at what she sees: a shadow passing over the moon in the shape of a button, holes and all.

Gasping, Coraline pushes herself away from the window, every inch of her suddenly on high alert. That’s when she hears it: a familiar metallic skittering across the floor, a sound she knows all too well.

She bolts out of the kitchen and up the stairs, leaping into her bedroom and slamming the door shut behind her. Her blood rushes in her ears.

It only gives her a few moments’ reprieve before she hears the skittering again, even closer and louder than before. Coraline backs away from the door, frantically searching her room for anything she could use as a weapon. She digs underneath her pillow for the pocketknife she bought in secret a year or two ago, but inexplicably, it’s nowhere to be found. Her heart nearly stops when she sees the hand crawl in from underneath.

The hand is severed at first, but from its wrist seems to grow an arm, a torso, another arm, all made out of needles. Coraline steels herself as the Beldam materializes before her eyes.

“You are my daughter,” she hisses, as something else appears in one of her hands. “You’re going to stay with me forever.”

In one hand, she holds another needle, already threaded. In the other is a gift box, and inside it sits a pair of black buttons.

“Hold still,” the Beldam continues. Coraline tries to move, to fight, to do anything, but her whole body is suddenly frozen. “This will only hurt a bit.” She takes a step forward, needle pointing at Coraline’s face, and then—

Coraline jolts awake and sits up rapidly, trying to catch her breath. The morning light streams through her bedroom window, a reminder of where she is: not the Other World, but the real one. Reaching under her pillow, she feels for her pocketknife. She is seventeen now, but still the events of her childhood plague her dreams.

She still has her stuffed animals. Most of the time, they sit on her shelf, watching over her like guardian angels, ensuring that danger doesn’t even make it through the doorway. Sometimes, though, on nights where the house creaks more than usual, on nights where Coraline swears she can feel a sinister gaze burning into her back, she grabs a few of them and sleeps with them in her bed, holding them tight against her chest, as if they will cast a bubble around her body that protects her from any harm. Sometimes she doesn’t even sleep, just lies awake in terror for hours on end. She’s far too old to sleep in her parents’ bed, but some nights, she tiptoes over to their bedroom and cracks the door open, just enough so she can see that they’re still there, safe and sound.

Coraline loves her parents, but they don’t completely understand everything. It’s not their fault; they have no memory of being kidnapped by the Beldam, and they weren’t witness to anything else that happened that fateful year. She tried to explain bits and pieces when she was younger, but they dismissed it as a child’s wild imagination or particularly vivid dreams, and she’s not sure she can really blame them. After all, it hardly sounds believable.

She’s made some other friends at her new school, and they’re wonderful, but none of them get it, either. They don’t understand why she cringes every time they point out the tiny door that leads to nowhere when they come over to her house. They don’t understand why buttons and dolls disturb her to this day, or why when she looks at a snow globe, it always takes her a moment to register that there is nothing frightening inside of it. “Something happened to me when I was a kid,” she told them once, to allay their concerns. “It was really scary. I could’ve died. So if I ever do something...weird, that’s probably why.” None of them questioned her, then, when she bought that pocketknife. If nothing else, she’s grateful for that.

Wybie and his grandmother are the only ones she can actually talk to about what happened, and she’s not going to come to them every single time she has a paranoid thought (which is, unfortunately, fairly often). Usually she can calm herself down, anyway; she just has to take deep breaths and remind herself that the key is gone, at the bottom of a bottomless well, and the Beldam can never open that godforsaken portal ever again.

It takes lying there for another ten minutes, eyes closed and focusing on nothing but the sound of her own breathing, for Coraline to finally muster up the energy to pull herself out of bed. At least it’s a Friday, she tells herself. She has to work a bit this weekend, but her job involves more stocking shelves than interacting with other people, so it’s still better than school.

It’s not that she hates school. She likes learning when it’s interesting, and she likes seeing her friends. It’s not even that she dislikes other people, because she doesn’t, really. Even people she thought were weird or annoying at first, like Wybie, have grown on her with time. It’s just that she fears she’ll have a flashback or a panic attack in the middle of class and embarrass herself. It’s happened before—in middle school she was branded a freak when a sewing project in her home economics class brought her to tears for reasons she didn’t know how to explain. Strangely enough, she feels safer in her neighborhood. It’s an environment she knows well, and as odd as her neighbors are, she trusts them to protect her, even if they might not be aware of it. She remembers Mr. Bobinsky’s warning not to go through the little door, and she remembers the adder stone given to her by Misses Spink and Forcible—and, of course, she remembers Wybie, who once called her crazy before he saw the Beldam’s severed hand for himself, before he helped her dispose of the key for good. Technically, he’s the one who found the Coraline doll that spied on her in the first place—a fact that she hates him for on her worst days—but she knows that he had no idea, and it doesn’t do any good to blame him. After all, even if he may have inadvertently introduced Coraline to the Other Mother, he also helped to defeat her.

While Coraline is choosing her outfit for the day, her phone buzzes: a text from Wybie. Hey Jonesy, it reads, meet me outside then. I got something for ya.

Coraline raises an eyebrow. That could mean anything. Still, she sends him a quick Ok and slips her clothes on. If it happens to be a slug or something, at least she can say her day got off to an interesting start.

Being writers, her parents don’t have to wake up as early as she does, so Coraline usually fixes her own breakfast—often something quick, like a muffin—and heads out the door. Today is no exception, her meal a bowl of cereal and a glass of orange juice. It sort of makes her feel like a kid again, in a good way. Sitting alone at the kitchen table, Cheerios in her spoon, the sun rising over the foggy mountains, a feeling of quiet peace and even innocence settles over her like dust on a bookshelf. In this moment, there is no fear, no nightmares, no flashbacks. In this moment, she is not a teenager doing her best to survive even while her mind begs to differ. She is the little girl she once was, before she was forced to be brave in the face of true horror. The sky glows pink and orange, a phenomenon unknown to the Other World. She’s grown to appreciate daylight more since then.

Finally, Coraline vaults her backpack over her shoulder and pushes the front door open, saying a silent goodbye to her parents in her head. Sure enough, at the bottom of the hill, leaning up against the Pink Palace sign, is Wybie, who looks like he’s playing a game on his phone. When he hears the sound of her footsteps, he looks up and waves to her.

“You’re back,” she says once she’s close enough to him to talk without having to shout. For the past two weeks, Wybie has been on a school trip to Germany. (Coraline couldn’t go because she’s taking Spanish instead of German.) It’s pretty stupid for them to get back on a Friday and then have to go to regular school for one day, in her opinion, but that’s just how it worked out. “You said you have something for me?” She can’t help but wonder if it’s a souvenir of some sort. She’d joked about him getting her one, but she didn’t actually expect him to do it.

“Yeah,” Wybie says. As they start to walk down the path that leads to town and their school, he pulls something small out of his jeans pocket, holding it in both hands so she can’t see what it is. His voice sounds strangely solemn. “So, you know how you said Miss Spink and Miss Forcible gave you that stone that one time? The one with the hole in the middle?”

Coraline remembers it well: the adder stone that helped her find the ghost children’s eyes all those years ago. When she read up about them later on, she found that rocks with naturally occurring holes in them, called adder stones or hag stones, are said to have magical properties. One of them is the ability to see through a witch or fairy’s disguises or traps, but others include the prevention of nightmares and curing whooping cough.

Coraline certainly doesn’t have whooping cough, but she does have nightmares, and she’s already seen the power of an adder stone for herself. “Yeah,” she says slowly. “They’re pretty rare. The Other Mother destroyed the one I had.”

Wybie flashes her a little half-smile and opens his palms, revealing a round, grayish stone with a medium-sized hole in it. “We visited the north coast one day,” he says as she takes it from him, “and I just happened to stumble across it. Apparently that’s one of the places where they’re more common, in northern Germany.” He shrugs. “I saw it, and I knew I had to give it to you. Not like you’ll need to find any more ghost children’s eyes, but…”

Coraline holds the stone up to her eye, feeling an odd comfort when she looks through the hole, even though nothing seems different. Feeling a soft smile spread across her face, she slips the stone into her pocket and says, “Thank you, Wybie.” Then, to lighten the mood, she adds, “I guess taking German was a good decision after all.”

Wybie blows a raspberry at her. “Hey, who got to go to a foreign country? Not you.”

They banter back and forth like that for a while, but part of Coraline is still focused on the stone in her pocket and the thoughtfulness behind it. It’s so small, but both the stone and the gesture give her the burst of courage she needs to get through the rest of the day, the week, the month. It’s a different kind of courage from what she had to muster up to stop the Beldam. It’s subtler, quieter. It’s the courage of a girl who has seen real ugliness, who has felt the deepest and most primal sort of fear, who went through hell and came out alive but unsure where to go from there. How do you keep on going when you’ve been face to face with death?

The answer, she realizes, is simple: it takes courage. It might be the kind that only a few people can see, but it’s courage all the same.

[disheveledtranquility]

the rules: answer 17 questions and tag 17 ppl you want to know better

tagged by @eddieswetdream and this was unexpected, but very heartwarming! ❤

nickname: To be honest, my nickname actually is Dahmi. I’ve gone by this nickname online since around 2004, and old habits die hard, so. Friends from the internet that have become IRL friends still call me this. Relates nothing to my real name, which is Heather. You can only know this by my signature in my artwork, although I’m very unknown despite having drawn for many years. I only get noticed when I draw fanart. c’:

zodiac sign: Leo

height: 5'6 according to the doctor I just visited because of a sprained wrist.

hogwarts house: Ravenclaw,  I s’pose

last thing i googled: Venom 2 news (I’m sooo excited)

song stuck in head: Slow Down by Chase Atlantic

following & followers:   52 &  199

amount of sleep i get: During workdays it’s 3-4, weekends it’s around 7. Honestly, I wake up at 1AM for work and am in bed by 7PM reading fanfics until I realize I will only get like 3 hours of sleep.

lucky #s: 4 and 7

dream job: Concept Artist / Illustration

wearing: A black and white sweater by PINK and some thermal pajama bottoms from VS. I’ve been wearing them all weekend because I am lazy at home. (My whole closet is PINK and VS because I work at one of the distribution centers so I get a lot of merchandise benefits, don’t judge me pleeeease.)

favorite songs: Honestly, anything that pleases my moods. I have different playlists of all genres for when I write, when I paint, and when I’m working out. I can’t really think of songs that are my favorite...but I do really favor No light by Florence and the Machine.

instruments: When I was in Middle School I played the flute? I also banged my teeth on that thing during a play, LOL.

aesthetic: Silent Hill (the games, not the movies- they were a disgrace, don’t fight me), the deepest depths of the ocean, red wine, macabre & gore, muted tones and colors, Angler fish, all things Halloween related,  horror & angst, underwater photography, the lingering scent of nicotine on fingertips and the stain it leaves behind

random facts: Oh wow, here we go. Oversharing time that no one asked for, but you’re about to get.

I’m a 90s baby. I used to wear thick coke bottle glasses as a kid because my eyesight has always been shite, but I’ve upgraded to nicer, thinner glasses over the years, yeeees. I sometimes wear contacts, but I feel like I have to wear makeup with them or I look weird, so I wear my glasses more often.

I smoke cigarettes, have been since I was 18 although I tried to quit 4 separate times. 

I was heavily bullied from as far back  as I can remember until I was nearly an adult. By relatives, by schoolmates. Once I almost passed out from being choked on the ground. It’s the real reason I dropped out of school, twice. I was too afraid to go back by 10th grade. I’ve always been a loser. I like to think I’m a blast though, having moved on. :D

I’m an introvert. I’m not one to be the first to reach out to someone because somewhere along the line I expected everyone else to ignore me. I assume I’m a bother, so I keep to myself until someone approaches me and shows an interest. I don’t mean that in an angsty way because I don’t feel it that way. It’s just how I think. 

My emotions are dark in an elegant way in my head and I use it for painting and writing, but my personality- my friends describe me as hilarious and outgoing. 

The first time I ever got feelings for someone was a friend in school I’d grown up with. I remember it feeling very innocent in my head and all I did was want to be closer to her and kiss her. I never even thought about the fact that I was being hella gay because it didn’t matter to me. She didn’t like to hang out with me separately outside the group though, which was depressing, but I did get to dance with her at homecoming because I made a joke about not letting her feel left out because she didn’t have a date. It was the best moment of school for me. ; u ; 

I tend to gravitate to messed up shows and movies, especially ones that are angsty and gay or with gay subtext. idk I’m sunshine ok. lmao

My hyperfixations and fandoms I am in are topics I will probably talk to you forever about if you let me in. I’m 100% willing to bust the door down with tea and cookies just to talk about the shows, games, ect. I’m obsessed with. Nothing but love, fam. 

I’m married, we are polar opposites. 

I’ll tag: @momodashii because all I know about you is that you share my love for Mad’s arms and hands!

I feel bad not tagging more, but the friends I do have on here I know all about, and there are also friends that have left tumblr...I also have mutuals who have already posted this, so I won’t tag them. I also tend to hold onto little tidbits of people’s personalities in tags and posts that tell me more about them, so if I didn’t tag you it might mean I feel like I already know you, even if we haven’t talked.

Please know that I am here if you ever want to become friends!

[news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog]

'SighSwoon' merges self-care tips with hilarious memes on Instagram

Scrolling through @SighSwoon on Instagram is the equivalent of picking up a mysterious book at a thrift shop and falling into words that both enlighten and entertain.  

Gabi Abrao, a 24-year-old Los Angeles native, is the mind behind one of Instagram's shiniest hidden gems. SighSwoon showcases self-reflective memes and guides on how to feel things, whether it's simple pleasures or a broken heart. It’s a treasure trove of content tailored for millennials navigating creative lives. 

Sighswoon began in the summer of 2016, Abrao tells Mashable over email. Heartbreak and the desire to make some changes drove her toward the internet as a medium for creating and connecting with others, mainly through memes. With an ever-growing follower count of 62.3K, she's connected with a lot of people.

“When I share a realization online and see that thousands of people are going through the same thing, it makes me feel less alone, less hard on myself. I want people to feel this way too — understood, empowered,” Abrao explains. 

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Reminder that we’re all multi-faceted human beings and inner movements and conditions are subject to change constantly. There is no fixed condition. The more you do and the more you experience, the more understanding you will gain about your many facets and when they show up for you. There is so much to you - your capabilities, your moods, your modes. Being in one mode doesn’t make you in fixed opposition to the the other. There is no forever, there is no never. Fixation is an illusion. Change and shape-shifting is nature. After you understand your modes, you may get close to managing them. The gift of this will be synchronicity and balance. ** (Reposting myself from last October because this theme keeps showing up for me time and time again. Love this truth too much. Happy shapeshifting.)

A post shared by GABI + MEMES (@sighswoon) on Apr 7, 2019 at 6:20pm PDT

The artist uses her platform to offer a plethora of self-care tips, from how to sunbathe ("a secluded location where you can get as naked as possible") to the best ways to "shapeshift," a visualization practice for when you're uncentered. Reading her is kind of like speaking to a caring physician who knows exactly what ails you and then gives you the perfect prescription, free of charge. 

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Three years ago, following a mildly devastating heartbreak, I dragged my mattress and box spring to the very center of the room and said, “I am a lush, self-sustaining island“. I slept in the center of the room for three days. That weekend, I took myself to a local playhouse. A 20-seat theater, the space was tiny and intimate. I arrived alone in a long black dress and proceeded to watch a stubborn man fall in love with an alien. The play was incredible, surprising, I cried. Once home, I felt ready for the luxury of leaning on a wall and shoved my bed back up against it. . . Later, ready for guests and no longer isolating, I thought of myself as a castle in the desert. “Grand for itself, wise for itself,” I wrote in a poem. In this new form, I was rejecting the need for outside validation, especially that of romantic partners. I imagined myself made of stone that remained cool, even at the highest noon. I imagined myself as an abundant whimsical structure in an environment lacking of. Sturdy and welcoming and independent. “Grand when you arrive, grand when you leave,“ I added to the poem. . . In a meditation class in high school, our teacher told us to pick our place. My teacher, who did past life regression on dogs, said, “Pick a place to be in. Just sit there and listen. Make room for visits from animals, insects, spirits.“ I settled for a giant warm boulder in the sun, next to a free-flowing river, surrounded by woods. A buffalo visited me that day, my eyes closed in a classroom. When things are neutral, when things are good, when things are great, I am the boulder in the sun by the river. Or I am laying on it. . . The house cat reminds me to stretch my body and take time in the sun. The house cat makes me not feel guilty for napping too long or staring at the traffic outside. The house cat reminds me to give myself permission to relax and take it slow.

A post shared by GABI + MEMES (@sighswoon) on May 2, 2019 at 7:19pm PDT

With so much to do and see online today, it can be difficult to slow your scroll and ask yourself how you're feeling. Abrao's hyper-aware content offers a mirror with which followers can take a nice, long look at themselves. The focus falls on subjects like self-worth, illusions, success, and creativity. She utilizes extensive captions to explain specific ideas in depth — or even just to describe a sunset.  

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me drinking the sunset on a hill overlooking the city. it’s incredible how some of the most impactful events occur in line with some of the most devastating. sometimes intensity is just intensity. i am living my dreams and aching simultaneously, and i’d be a fool to think this could ever be any other way. dual, shifting, unbelievably fair. i am so happy to still be here. when things feel gigantic, and the imagination builds tall tales to match the sensation, we can always return to water and sunshine.

A post shared by GABI + MEMES (@sighswoon) on Mar 26, 2019 at 3:50pm PDT

“As a teenager, I used to do street art wheat paste posters around the city that said ‘sigh swoon sigh’ on them," Abrao says of her page’s unusual name. "It was a mini poem I made up and attached meaning to, and sharing it like that was a reason to run around and be bad. Years later, the phrase would come back around and feel like the most fitting title for what my page has become.”

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My Higher Self just whispered this to me and I was floored. May we recognize crossfire. May we recognize deliberate, aimed fire. May we protect ourselves first before engaging in any perceived battle.

A post shared by GABI + MEMES (@sighswoon) on Mar 13, 2019 at 9:36pm PDT

The Sighswoon feed is aesthetically pleasing, everything kissed with a tint of beige. It's light and welcoming, which is exactly the way Abrao wanted it. She blames her fascination with the hue on her time spent at the beach: “I was renting a bed and a balcony in a living room for $500/month. The building’s stucco was beige, the cheap '90s carpet was beige, and the sand was beige. I think I just wanted to match everything.” 

SEE ALSO: I don't know who needs to hear this, but these memes are good

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tbt to the longest but purest #vintage #meme wrote this a year ago

A post shared by GABI + MEMES (@sighswoon) on Feb 5, 2019 at 1:40am PST

“The cyborg in me recognizes the cyborg in you,” reads her bio, just above a link to her online store where she sells merch that features the saying on totes and sweatshirts. “It’s a claim to embracing the digital age,” Abrao explains, “the very human-meets-technology existence we all participate in, and are still wearily adapting to.” She admits that while it’s meant to be humorous, she also means it with her “whole heart." 

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my beloved cream crewnecks are now available! i got one sample made for photos are I absolutely adore it. sizes run a little big and on the “men’s” side of sizing. sweaters are made-to-order and will ship within two weeks. link in bio 🏹🏹 p.s. totes are still available in the shop and any orders made today before midnight will ship on thursday morning along with every order placed this past week. love a cozy cyborg

A post shared by GABI + MEMES (@sighswoon) on Jan 29, 2019 at 1:41pm PST

With just about three years of memeing under her (beige) belt, Abrao has figured out the formula for making a solid one.

“A good meme is funny, relatable, insightful, and healing. In that order. You should laugh, then feel connected to the creator or others who understand it, then experience some introspect, then leave with a healed feeling from those three processes,” she muses. Her delivery method varies as she utilizes many different meme formats. 

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ok fine ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

A post shared by GABI + MEMES (@sighswoon) on Feb 5, 2019 at 10:30am PST

Occasionally, Abrao will post pictures of herself wearing interesting outfits made of neutral textiles and glowy silks. These portraits provide a face to the name (as well as maintaining her color-coded image). They also fuel fan encounters at her part-time book store gig: "A few times I have rung up a book, handed it to the person across the counter, and they’re just staring at me, and they say 'You make memes right?'"

View this post on Instagram

Years ago, I read a passage by an unknown source that said - “When you have an amazing day, take note of what you were wearing, what you ate, who you were with, what you did. Do the same with bad days.” This shirt is my absolute favorite of mine, and I’ve only had good days in it.

A post shared by GABI + MEMES (@sighswoon) on Apr 17, 2019 at 5:11pm PDT

Abrao just wants to help everyone chill out. "I aim for my page to be accessible, empowering, and soothing," she says. And she wants to keep it up for as long as possible. 

"I wish to continue my studies of the invisible and unseen — documenting my findings through paintings, writings, videos, memes, and other art forms," she says. Her end goal is literally out of this world: "I will operate a carousel in the desert some day, and I hope to re-spawn on another planet in my next life." 

In the midst of all the noise that is Instagram in 2019, Sighswoon provides a light-filled digital oasis, a faraway page that's easy to get lost on. Be careful, though. You might just walk away feeling refreshed and renewed. And with an affinity for beige. 

WATCH: Nickelodeon releases official SpongeBob meme figures

[mydearestreaderfanfics]

Viral (Pidge x Reader) 2/4 YouTube AU

Warnings: None, I think

Word Count: 2,251

Prompt/Request: None

Summary: Continuation of Livestream Mishaps. After a messy meeting, Pidge and the reader become friends. After a visit from Lance, the reader realizes that their feelings may be more than platonic. Misunderstandings and hilarity ensue.

Author: Mod Alex

Chpt. 1

As promised you led Pidge to a quaint little coffee shop you frequented. The cafe wasn’t particularly well-known and had bookshelves lining several walls on both of the floors. Since the last time you’d been there, they seem to have added a few more plush antique armchairs and couches, all adorned with eclectic throw pillows. You turned to an awestruck Pidge with a smug grin. “You like?” “How have I never been here?” You laughed softly. “Not many people know about this place since it doesn’t look like much from the street. That’s part of the reason I like it so much.” While you loved your fans, sometimes you just wanted to go somewhere where there wasn’t many people and the people who did go there had no idea who you were. “I get what you mean.” “Besides that, they’ve got great coffee. What were you wanting?” She glanced up at the board displaying the menu. “Vienna roast?” Surprise spread across your features, you hadn’t taken her for a dark roast drinker. That surprise was quickly replaced with a smile, somehow it was endearing. “Great!” “Thanks, I’ll go get us a table.” “Sounds good!” When you got to the register, you order both your drinks along with a slice of tiramisu to share with Pidge. You hoped she liked it. “Your total is $8.82. By the way, you and your girlfriend look absolutely adorable together.” You handed the barista your credit card, blushing brightly. “She isn’t- I mean we aren't-” “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry. I just figured.” “Don’t worry about it.” You smiled sheepishly, glancing back to see where Pidge had sat. Did you two really make a cute couple? Your fans and now the barista seemed to think so. No. You shouldn’t even be thinking that you had just met her after all. “Name?” For a second you were wondering why the barista wanted to know Pidge’s name, then you realized, with a fair deal of embarrassment, that she was asking for your name for the order. “(Y/N).” “Thanks! We’ll call your name so you can pick up your order.”

You walked back to the table, strategically balancing both coffees and the tiramisu on your arms. Taking her coffee, Pidge offered her thanks. “I wasn’t sure if you'd eaten or not. Either way, they have really good tiramisu; I thought you might want to split it?” She nods. “Sure that sounds good.” You make idle chat over coffee, swapping editing tips and talking about how you started making videos and what you did besides videos. Eventually, the conversation shifted to your personal lives. “Yeah, Lance and I are actually friends, we met back in high school. A lot of people think we’ve dated, but he just came from a really affectionate household, besides he’s like my brother.” You laugh, remembering the weekends spent with Lance’s large family. “That’s the same way it is with Hunk and me. It’s crazy to think our friends have been friends and never bothered to introduce us.” “I know right? Although I won’t lie, it does feel like I’ve known you forever.” “I was thinking the same thing actually.” A baby grandfather clock rang from within the cafe interrupting your conversation. “Is it already that late?! I am so sorry, I have to go.” “Oh, yeah. I’m sorry too, I must’ve lost track of time. Let me walk you to your car?” “Scooter actually, but sure.”

When you got home that night, you crawled into bed, the events of the day going through your mind like a slideshow. Had the most dramatic series of events really taken place within the past 48 hours? It felt hard to believe. You felt restless and giddy. Despite how terrible this morning had been, you were happy to have met Pidge. Curiosity and restlessness spurred you to grab your phone and see what exactly the content of PidgeonPlays was. The large 6:00 flashed in fluorescent blue as your alarm went off. You barely heard it over your uncontained laugh. Oh no. You really hadn’t meant to binge watch. You tried to rationalize it. Her videos were lengthy and you obviously had to finish the series once you started it. You couldn’t just watch as she began playing Papo & Yo and not watch to see the conclusion. She was witty, clever, and had a knack for incorporating dry humor into her videos. You couldn’t wait to see her newest upload. The very one that she had left your coffee date- er coffee hangout for. You sighed, you couldn’t go back to sleep now, you had promised you’d help Lance with a video today. Might as well get ready. You put on a pot of coffee before hopping in the shower with hopes of it waking you up a little. The no sleep was really starting to creep in. By the time you were out of the shower, dressed, and on your second cup of coffee, the doorbell rang. And rang. And rang. Only one ridiculous friend of yours was known to do this. Lance. “It’s open!” Lance strode into your kitchen, pouring himself a cup of coffee. “I figured you were sleeping still.” “Hey! That happened one time and it was only because you had me go to a con with you and then an after-party afterward. It’s your fault if you think about it.” You stuck your tongue out childishly making Lance laugh. “Fine, I guess not all of us are blessed with the grace to be an early riser like me.” You nearly spit out your coffee from laughing. “Grace? You? Sure Lancy-pants. Whatever you gotta tell yourself.” He threw a piece of his toast (stolen from your pantry might you add) at you before pulling your laptop up. He clicked open the internet, your laptop directing him to YouTube: your homepage. “Oh-ho-ho. What do we have here?” “What are you going on about?” “Maybe the fans knew more than you wanted to let on.” “Lance, seriously, stop being cryptic, what are you talking about?” He turned the computer so the screen was facing you. Much to your embarrassment, PidgeonPlays filled up more than half of your recommended videos. “It’s not like that, it’s just um. Well, you see, she um, I mean we- She’s just a really good youtuber and since we met I just wanted to see what her channel was about. Hah, yeah.” Lance gave you an ‘I-don't-believe-you’ look. “You wouldn’t have this recommends if you were just checking her channel out.” He did finger quotations for emphasis. You went red with chagrin. “She’s funny, okay? We just met anyway.” He laughed again, though, he thankfully decided to drop the topic in favor of starting to record.

“Okay, so you have to play the catty instructor. She was super mean, so do your best Lotor impression.” “You got it, boss.” You flipped your hair and did your best sneer making Lance burst into a fit of giggles. “Perfect! Just like that.” Two hours later, you had finally filmed all the material needed for Lance’s ‘How I Became an Aerial Silk Performer’ skit video. There was plenty of editing to be done still, and you figured he would likely post the bloopers in a separate video in a few days. “Alright, so now you can get out of my house right?” You both knew you were joking. “I thought you enjoyed having me over, I’m hurt, (Y/N).” “Oh shush, I guess you can stay.” Your phone pinged. It was a text from an unknown number. Hesitantly you opened up the message.

Unknown Number Hey, this is Pidge. I got your number from Lance. I hear you watched my videos. [emoji of Pidge laughing smugly]

You What? Nope, never seen your videos before. Never. Not one

Pidge If you say so. [emoji of Pidge winking]

That’s it, Lance was a deadman. “Lance! You told Pidge I binged her videos?!” The guilty party lifted his hands in surrender. “She thought it was sweet. Here look.” He passed his phone to you. The messages in question were all there, as he had said.

Lance hey! #5

Pidge What do you want Lance?

Lance you know (y/n), right? she likes your videos she says it’s for research but i don’t buy it

Pidge Really?

Lance have i ever lied to you before?

Pidge Yes. I just messaged her. You were telling the truth?

Lance i told you [exaggerated frown emoji]

Pidge That’s kind of sweet. Did they like the videos?

Lance [smug emoji x3]

Pidge Nevermind!

You handed the phone back to Lance, a slight blush dusting over your features. “You suck.” “Aww, you’re blushing.” “Shush or I’ll tell Allura that you’re basically in love with her.” “You wouldn’t dare.” You gave him a pointed look and he frowned. “Fine. Blackmailing is not a good look on you just so you know.” You shrugged. “Just giving you a taste of your own medicine.” “If you two do get together, I will be expecting a thank you.” “I said shush!” Your blush had worsened considerably.

A week had gone by since then and while you still didn’t appreciate Lance interfering like that, you were thankful to have Pidge’s number. You two had been talking every day since then. Mostly about nothing too particularly important.

Pidge Hey!

You Oh hey

Pidge I have some bad news

You Oh no! What happened? Are you okay?

Pidge Just take a look for yourself [link to tumblr page]

Worried, you clicked on the link. At first, you felt relieved, it wasn’t a picture of Pidge’s leg in a cast or any other horrible scenario your brain had conjured up. Instead, it was a picture of you and Pidge at the coffee shop from the other day. You weren’t sure why the image had distressed Pidge until you saw the caption. ‘Looks like PidgeonPlays and OneUpGames are closer than they want us to think ;)’ Oh no, indeed. Why couldn’t you just live in peace? Clicking back to your messages, you typed a hasty response.

You Oh no

Pidge I know! They just don’t quit, do they?

You I’m sorry This is all my fault

Pidge No. You didn't’ set this up. I just don’t know what to do.

You I don’t know

Pidge’s text bubble popped up and went away a handful of times, effectively putting you on the brink of an anxiety attack. Finally, her message popped up.

Pidge What if we did a collab?

You You think that would help? Wouldn’t it just make them assume worse than they are now???

Pidge Well yes. But not if we do this right. It should be a four player game. And the commentary would explain everything better.

You Can’t get worse than it already is, I guess

You and Pidge got Lance and Hunk to join you. While their channel’s had nothing to do with gaming, they did enjoy playing games and were more than willing to help you both out. You sent out a tweet letting people know that you were doing a collab and would be going live on YouNow in a couple of minutes. The four of you were getting hooked up to the streaming platform while waiting for the time you posted to roll around. You really hoped this would work.

“What’s up multiplayers?! (Y/N) here with some special guests.” “Hey! Hey! LanceALot here!” “Hi, guys. I’m here too!” “It’s me again, rovers.” “Now that the guests have introduced themselves, let’s play.” Between scrambling through a digital kitchen, the four of you banted. “Pidge, you’re burning the burger!” “It’s not my fault, we were supposed to trade stations like two minutes ago, Lance.” “Uh, hey guys. The kitchen is on fire…” “Hold on, I have the fire extinguisher. Move, move, move!” You ended the round with two stars. “Before we keep going, let’s check out the audience’s messages.

FirstMultiplayer: asdfghjfddusb this is the collab of my dreams!!! roundtableknight: can you guys turn the music down we can’t hear you talking SinnamonRoll: I didn’t know you played games, Hunk :O Katie Kate: did you guys see the picture on tumblr? shhhh753: Yes. :( My poor OneUpLanceALot shipper heart is broken. PidgeonGamesfangirl: I SAW IT!! i’M THRIVING!!

You turned down the volume of the music as requested and read the messages out loud. “Wow, guys. We aren’t dating, (y/n) just bought me coffee to apologize for the misunderstanding.” “Haha yeah. Because some of you can’t seem to drop it. Pidge is a great person, but we are just friends. I promise. And to answer some of you, no Lance and I am not dating either. I am a single pringle for the time being, okay.” Hunk laughed at your expression. “We have time for one more round before we have to go. Let’s do a super difficult one,” Lance interjected before you could read any more comments. “SOunds good! Let’s do this!” You failed miserably and had a few good laughs before finally ending the stream.

That night after the stream, you looked through the comments. Several fans were disappointed while others held onto the hopes of you secretly dating Pidge. You sighed. Their persistence was not making your growing feelings for Pidge any easier to bury away. She wanted to be friends. That's it. You should want the same, right? But no, your stupid heart had to go and fall for the damn mystery girl.

[mujeeburrehman]

We’re Moving: Part One – The Inspired Room

Hey friends! I finally have that home and life update for you today with more details following my post about a big dream coming true for us (catch up here if you missed that post). This will be part one of the story (it’s almost a book, ha!), so grab a cup of coffee or tea and get cozy!

If you just want to get to the news right away, here it is! We are MOVING! We are selling our house and are in the process of buying a new home. I can hardly believe it, but it’s such a whirlwind but fun story! Read on for the backstory (and know that I will continue to share updates as things continue to unfold!).

I can’t believe been sharing our family, life, and our home stories on the blog since 2007, longer than most of the home influencers on the internet, ha! Fourteen years as of a month ago. It’s not always been easy to know how to live a private life but also share one’s life on the internet with grace, integrity, and consistency.

To share the blessings, the twists and turns, the unknowns and even hard times in front of hundreds of thousands of people you don’t really know feels quite vulnerable at times. But my blog readers have been following along since the beginning. I loved sharing our story with you! We are heading into a new season of life and with it will come a new and exciting change for our family!

The past year has been a roller coaster of emotions, not only because of 2020 but just knowing our kids were going to be heading out again. Our empty nester life would begin for real this year (my husband and I were empty nesters for just a few months two years ago before the pandemic changed that!).

After years of praying for clarity in our future “empty nester life” and searching for the right next path, many pieces of that puzzle began falling into place just in this past year and many only in the past two months. Some of the final pieces fell into place just this week! Honestly, it’s felt like a series of miracles and dreams coming true. We are so thrilled that we can now see our destination and we are almost there.

We are quite family oriented, as you have probably gathered. We have been quite accustomed to living near our kids and all of them and their pets moving in and out over this past year. We loved every minute of the unexpected and extended time with our family. We would’ve kept them all here forever had it been what was best for them!

A few pieces of our own puzzle had to do with decisions our kids would make this year: Courtney moved to an apartment in Bellingham this year (1.5 hours north of Seattle). Kylee and her husband just bought a house in Portland (3 hours south of Seattle). Our son Luke made the decision to move to a house with friends while he finishes his last two years of college (he just moved out last week!).

All of our kids chose to move in slightly different directions on the map. It might not have been our “ideal” scenario, if a perfect one ever existed like us all living next door to each other, ha! But our kids are building their own lives as they should! We’re so proud of them! And we’re all in the Pacific Northwest! I know many times kids end up in other parts of the country or world, so we’re happy being close enough to drive to all of them.

Waiting and watching for each of them get settled in their decisions and homes helped us to feel free to begin visualizing our own direction.

We had several things we wanted to find clarity on over the past few years. One was regarding if or how long we wanted to stay in our current home. We moved here six years ago so our son could go to high school near his siblings who lived in Seattle. We never had committed to staying past those four years of high school, but we were open to whatever the future would hold.

Over the years I felt pretty certain I didn’t want to move. Many times I said we were staying here and I meant it. HA! We have loved living in this house and I don’t like moving :). We had so many plans for this place so we also wanted to continue to work on it! But even though we love living here, I started to feel in my heart that more change was coming.

At first when our kids made their decisions on where they would live, it made sense to us to stay here. We didn’t really have anywhere else we wanted or needed to go. But just as we started to settle into that idea of another few years here, things started to shift. We soon realized there would be a change for us, too!

Life is full of surprises, isn’t it?

One weekend several weeks ago, our kids along with my parents and niece and nephew walked along a beautiful boardwalk in Bellingham (near where my daughter Courtney lives). My parents began talking about how wonderful would be for them to move up here closer to us and the water and all of the adventures they would have.

As we were driving home (and after some conversations in the coming days), I began to feel a stirring in my soul that maybe there was something more for us than just staying where we were. Following our day on that boardwalk, I talked to my dad more on the phone. I heard his heart and some of his dreams. I knew my mom had dreams. My husband and I had dreams for our next home and our empty nester life, too.

Our dreams all seemed to come together in a way that all made sense to us in this very moment in time. For the first time in a long time, my husband and I were free to make some new decisions and dream new dreams.

You don’t always know which experiences of your life are shaping the next part of your story, or which moments will become a significant turning point. Once you are able to start reflecting back on those moments, you can see where you need to go, or find that you are on the right path.

That’s how I started to feel. It became clear that so many parts of our history and the dreams we’ve had were preparing us for this very season.

When I was a kid we had a sailboat and spent a lot of time traveling around the San Juan Islands. Being up here in Washington around the water brought back those memories for us. Once we had kids of our own, my parents bought a beach house on the Oregon Coast near Cannon Beach. It was where our family gathered every summer and holiday. You might remember me showing it on the blog! You can take a tour of it here.

We loved that house and Cannon Beach, but they sold it after our family moved to Washington years ago.When my dad shared a dream he had to recreate something like the experience we had with our beach house, but up here near the San Juan Islands, that’s when the lightbulb went off in my head.

As my husband and I started to think about that vision, as well as reflect on our own dreams and what we wanted to do next, we realized we could live like we were on vacation every day :). Why not? Every day is so precious, life should be an adventure with the people you love!

But tempted as I am to rush decisions at times, I find the most at peace when I learn to let go and just trust. So that’s what I did. I just let go and let the story unfold. Through those experiences on the boardwalk that day and in the conversations and circumstances that followed, it began to make sense to us for many reasons that we could best create a life of adventure for all of us by moving closer to the San Juans.

I didn’t know what that would look like, exactly, but even without knowing all of the answers or even the timeline, I felt so much peace in it!

This move wouldn’t be about finding the perfect dream house, it was first and foremost about seizing the adventure of life by the sea. But as a homebody, it had always been hard for me picture a path forward without the house. With the market as wild as it is, it all seemed a little crazy. Would we just sell our house without anywhere to go? I prayed like crazy that we would make the right decision about selling our home, that we would find the right place at the right time, and that I wouldn’t get in the way of whatever was meant to be.

There is a beautiful area not too far North of where we live now that I’ve felt drawn to go explore, for years I couldn’t get it out of my head. I felt inspired that it was finally time to go take a look! We’d actually been in the area many times before, but had never looked at it as a potential place to live. It seemed like it might be the perfect destination for us to begin this new season of life, but we wanted to see it for ourselves.

So my husband and I hopped in the car that next weekend and went a little road trip! Little did we know that day we’d not only find the perfect location for the life we dreamed about, but the home of our dreams was there waiting for us, too.

Stay tuned for PART TWO of our new home story!

Be sure to follow along on Instagram HERE for behind the scenes, and subscribe to my newsletter here to stay in the loop!

Source link

source https://civilco.construction/were-moving-part-one-the-inspired-room/ from Civilco Construction & Interior https://civilcoconstruction.blogspot.com/2021/08/were-moving-part-one-inspired-room.html

[marvelidiot]

Romanogers Fic Recommends

!!UPDATED!! 07/14/20

can also be found here: marvelidiot.tumblr.com/Romaongersfics

Hey there! I made this because I want to share these awesome gems and gifted writers. Stay awesome and will always be happy reading your works! :)

Thank you @miss_LulaMae on twitter for her recommendations as well!

If you have more recommendations to add, feel free to message me on twitter @marvelidiot

COMPLETE MULTI-CHAPTERS

Calm Before The Storm by i-am-the-fandoms (31/31) Natasha Romanoff is changing and it’s because of Steve Rogers. Was she falling in love or it is only for children. And what does Steve think? Falling in love has never been crazier. Set after AoU

Natasha’s Diary by MarthaDanielle (9/9) Captain America isn’t afraid of anyone. Except Natasha, with reason. All the Avengers have a respect for her out of fear. What happens when Steve stumbles upon something he wasn’t supposed to?

See You in a Minute by Loquatorious (4/4) What if Scott had been delayed just five more minutes before driving to the Avengers Compound? What if Steve and Natasha had a little bit more time to talk? What if the Soldier and the Spy discovered more to their relationship, just in time to see it end? A canon-divergent what-if? story based on the events of Avengers Endgame.

Dust to Dust (We've Been Lonely Too Long) by myloveiamthespeedofsound (10/10) A series of connected one shots in which Natasha and Steve see how long they can maintain that they're just friends who happen to sleep together before they realize they're complete morons and might be a little bit in love with each other.

Fairy Tale Life by miko (9/9) Faced with a choice between sending Natasha into a dangerous situation alone, or posing as her newly-wed husband, Steve knows there's only one thing he can do. Even if it means faking some things he never thought he'd do with anyone but his real best girl. Even if it means crossing a line he shouldn't be crossing when it comes to his feelings for Natasha. Problem is, there's one more little detail about this mission Natasha 'forgot' to mention... and it might just change both their lives forever.

I'm Dying to Catch My Breath by chalantness (3/3) She remembers sitting with him like this a year ago, in another guest bedroom, and no, she doesn't believe in fate. But she doesn't believe in coincidences, either.

IN-PROGRESS MULTI-CHAPTERS

Muscle Memory by heyfrenchfreudiana Steve and Natasha are fake married for an undercover mission that goes wrong. When both wake up, any memories of who they are or what they were doing have been erased. The only thing that they do know is that they are both wearing wedding rings.If we both have amnesia, and all we have are our feelings, could we start a life together? If we don’t have to run away to forget the world, could we have a piece of happiness just the two of us?

The Domestic Life of Mr. and Mrs. Rogers by Spanglecap Being an Avenger is pretty incredible. Being in love through it all? Even more so. These are snapshots of Steve and Natasha as they build a life and a family together and fall more and more for each other every day.

Training Montage by liquidCaliban Steve wants to try a little new age management where the Avengers have to spend a day training like their teammates. Natasha is already over that noise, but she’s got something up her sleeve of death.

Can’t Pretend by ultrona Steve and Nat start their history during “Captain America: The Winter Soldier”.

ONE-SHOTS

Alone (I’m here for you) by  qwertyuiopkjhgfdssazxcvbnm Post Civil War. “And I can guess how much she means to you.” Bucky has a talk with Steve on the quinjet as they leave for Siberia about a certain red head.  "She… I… I care about her.“

Sam Assumed by LiquidCaliban Sam makes his first visit to Avengers’ Tower, where he discovers that things are not always as they seem, but only before he realized they weren’t. Seemingly. And Tony will never learn to knock.

Amnesiac by LiquidCaliban Steve wakes up one morning with no memory of the past eight years, which is awkward because he has a wife and son. Fortunately, he has the Avengers to get him through some Asgardian-induced amnesia.

Only An Eclipse Away by Asoreleks Two people drift into each other’s lives once again on a quiet afternoon in Brooklyn, New York, light years and a lifetime away from a place called Vormir.

NC-17 ONE-SHOTS

Benefits by 401 (1/1) (NC-17) Steve and Natasha are just friends. Most of the time.

AUs - No superpowers, No super-secret boyband Avengers team (just them as normal humans/ Nat and Steve are OOC on some) (HIGHLY RECOMMENDED)

ONE SHOTS

Runaways by bornatexasgirl (1/1) Steve’s a dreamer, a drifter, never staying in one place for too long. Natalia’s a small town good girl, who wants nothing more to escape the life she has, where everything is planned and nothing is her own. He thinks she’s crazy for wanting a guy like him. She thinks he needs her. Turns out, they’re both right.

(NC-17) One Shots

I’m On Fire by myloveiamthespeedofthesound (1/1) (NC-17) Steve is a photographer, Natasha is his subject for the day. He’s got a big boy crush, and maybe she might like him a little bit too, but Steve’s an idiot and the likelihood of him figuring that one out is about as likely as pigs flying.

After the Encore by beezyland (1/1) (NC-17) Guitar strings aren’t all he’s stroking.

COMPLETE MULTI-CHAPTERS (Worth the read. I swear!)

Invocation by mylifeisloki (9/9) Steve Rogers is just trying to cope with life after the army. The last thing he expects is to find salvation in the arms of a beautiful stranger he meets at a cafe.

Making Use of The Weekend by Phoebe_Snow (7/7) AU. Natasha gets more than she bargains for when a cute little dog named Bucky ruins her tomato garden and his handsome owner, Steve, walks into her life.

It Could Happen To You by Phoebe_Snow (4/4) Natasha keeps running into Steve at the most embarrassing times. It’s really a shame because he seems like a sweet guy, but he must think she’s a total moron after all of the awkward and inappropriate moments they’ve shared.

Stay by thegraytigress (23/23) On the surface, he’s a disabled war vet and she’s his new neighbor. On the surface, they’re both okay, surviving, working, living. But beneath his apathy, he’s broken, bleeding, and drowning in his pain and loneliness. Underneath her smiles, she’s lost, terrified, and trying to find a new start. Maybe it’s fate that she moves in and he finds her. And maybe falling in love is their chance to heal.

Just A Blast From The Past by InNeedOfInspirationn(13/13) Natasha watches Steve die and decides to use a time travel device from Asgard to go back in 1942 and prevent Bucky from turning into the Winter Soldier. Forbidden to meddle with the past because it could affect the future, she changes her appearance and introduces herself under a false identity. But as they grow close, Natasha finds it harder and harder to resist the charm of Steve from 1942.

A Hundred Worlds by InitialA (23/23) And I’d choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I’d find you and I’d choose you.”

At First Glance by mocking words (3/3) ‘our flats are opposite each other and your kitchen window faces my kitchen so we always see each other making coffee at 3am’ AU?

We Never Go Out of Style by mylifeisloki (8/8) Inspired by ‘Style’, by Taylor Swift. Steve is a bad boy who can’t be tied down, but Natasha’s not like anyone he’s ever seen before. Together, they go through life, love, and loss- not necessarily in that order.

Two Halves of a Soul by xo_stardust720 It was strange how quickly his world had changed in a span of a few hours. He’d gone from sleeping peacefully in bed, to fighting a fire, to finding his soulmate.

Pot Meet Kettle (7/7) by heyfrenchfreudiana When Natasha Romanoff asked Steve Rogers for help in Statistics, he almost said ‘no’. He thought about all of the things he would rather do and he how he would honestly rather have gone to the dentist than “help” a girl who he figured was about as deep as the puddles outside his dorm room after a rain.

Love, Nat by joelleeee (5/5) Nastasha and Steve grew up together and have been best friends ever since. They are inseparable, but since their last year of high school, their friendship begins to diverge. But the fact that both of them are going away for college leaves so much room for the unknown and unpredictable future that their surfacing feelings are making it even more difficult. They continue to journey through their lives separately and together; however, somehow their lives and feelings keep intertwining themselves together inevitably.

Meet me Halfway by choi_kimmy (5/5) “Steve got himself a potential pen-pal from the future.” Bucky offers an explanation, his tone a mock exaggeration. Steve darts another glare at his best friend who is clearly having too much fun teasing him. In other words; Natasha quits her job, moves back into the city and suddenly she is communicating through a magical mailbox that clearly transcends time with a guy named Steve who claims to be living two years in the past. Can the new year get any weirder?

For Whose Love I Rise and Fall by Yeetmeaway (27/27) In 1943 Hydra unleashes a deadly virus in its quest to create a new world order-- one that turns its hosts into vampire-like creatures. 75 years later, humanity is on the brink of extinction, protected only by the hunters of SHIELD. Natasha has already lost so much to this-- they are fighting a losing battle and everyone can feel it. But, for the first time in years SHIELD has hope, the possibility of a cure. What else will she give to bring an end to this nightmare?

The Empty Space Next to Me by InNeedOfInspiration (THE FEELS ON THIS ONE) (16/16) Steve goes to Vormir to bring Natasha back and fails. But when Natasha reappears months later on the radar, Steve has an unexpected second chance. Little does he know that —nor understands how— Natasha has become a hostess in a guesthouse in Louisiana. Can he find Natasha again?

And It’s Coming For You and Me by chalantness (4/4) She’s used to the little puppy just running around, and he’s harmless and totally cute, so it’s fine. The little girl that’s giggling and running up the sidewalk after him is even cuter. And the girl’s father? Well, perhaps the word cute isn’t enough to describe him. But it’s a start.

COMPLETE NC-17 Multi-Chapters

The Nature of a Flower by mylifeisloki (22/22) (NC-17) The king has decided that Prince Steve is to take a wife. The young Princess Natasha of a far off land comes to his kingdom for their wedding. As they get to know one another, they realize that propriety and what is expected might not always be the best thing to do. Once they come to that realization, they might just leave themselves open to real love.

Sea Glass by heyfrenchfreudiana (23/23) (NC-17) So if we imagine that Steve/Natasha would happen in one way or another (alternate universe), suppose they meet cute outside their therapist’s office (who so happens to be Bruce).

Bullet Holes and Thunder Clouds by Jodygoroar (4/4) (NC-17) Steve Rogers is a NYC firefighter captain who got injured on the job now he has to go to physical therapy, turns out his therapist is Natasha Romanoff. Soulmate mark AU, this is going to be smutty. Many other Marvel characters are mentioned. Blame it all on a single Soviet bullet.

The Boss’ Daughter by mylifeisloki (33/33) (NC-17) Natasha is the young heiress to Tony Stark’s fortune, but she’s been kept on a tight leash for most of her youth. Now, when she’s about to come out into the public eye, might not be the best time for a handsome stranger to show up. Poor Steve doesn’t even see it coming.

Always the Bridesmaid by mylifeisloki (8/8) (NC-17) Attending Pepper’s wedding as the maid of honor is something of a terrible privilege. Natasha’s biding her time until it’s over- that is, until she catches sight of a handsome groomsman. All of a sudden, there might just be something at the reception that Natasha isn’t at all prepared for.

IN-PROGRESS MULTI-CHAPTERS (a.k.a desperately needs to be updated)

Steve’s Anatomy by mylifeisloki Successful cardiac surgeon Natasha finds herself at odds with a sweet nurse in the maternity ward who has managed to charm nurses and mothers alike. As time goes on, she tries to find a flaw and comes up empty– but can Steve really be as wholesome and perfect as he seems? And more importantly, is it possible that Nurse Charming is actually the perfect match for someone as emotionally challenged as Natasha happens to be?

Help Wanted by HerMajestyEffy In other words Natasha is a kidnap victim and the only person she managed to dial for help is Steve,a complete stranger.

Crossfire by mocking_words Romanogers AU where Natasha works for Bucky before Steve steps into the picture

Time After Time by beezyland A collection of AU oneshots I’d like to turn into full-length stories, but never will.

I’m Sitting on Top of the World by AnastasiaPhoenixRose12 Welcome to Los Angeles 1926, the peak of the Roaring Twenties! Wealthy adopted brothers, Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers, return home to the Stark Manor after graduating from boarding school. They, and their hoard of friends, have three months of absolute freedom before beginning their freshmen year of college. In an era dominated by the Jazz Age, Prohibition, flappers, speakeasies, automobiles, cinema, radio, gangster crime, and sexual liberation, it only gets better for Bucky and Steve when they entangle themselves in illicit affairs with the two newest foreign housemaids: Wanda Maximoff and Natasha Romanoff.

Two Hearts Set on Fire by xo_stardust720 In a world where the first words your soulmate says to you are tattooed on your skin, Natasha has spent her entire life wondering where her other half was.She never thought her soulmate would turn out to be the homeless man that she saw every morning at the train station on her way to school. But love was unpredictable like that, she supposed.

6 AM Sharp by CaptainArwenPond221B Natasha Romanoff works at her friend Clint’s coffee shop, where he offered her a fresh start a few years back. She doesn’t want to trust her heart to anyone, not anymore, so when a scrawny little guy comes in asking for black coffee with a perfect smile on his face, she’s determined not to let herself love him. Steve Rogers is a poor artist with a shitty job at SHIELD Design Co. who might have a crush on the red-headed barista who talks to him every morning before work… But nobody cares about somebody like him, so he decides never to let himself love her.. And if we’re honest, Bucky and Clint just like messing with their best friends. A lot.

Simplicity Meets Complexity by Ayooheather They came from two completely different worlds but they were always friends. Things were simple... why did they have to go and fuck that up

The Last of us by LogicalHeart The Avengers are now divided as Steve, Natasha, Sam, and Wanda are on the run. As time goes by, Steve and Natasha have gotten closer and have committed themselves to each other in a way neither of them can explain. Little do they know, that everything is about to change for the worse.

IN-PROGRESS NC-17 MULTI-CHAPTERS

Oops! by NatRomanoff_34 (NC-17) AU where Nat wants to have something Barton has..

Torched by Phoebe_Snow (NC-17) When a terrible fire destroys Natasha’s apartment, she’s left with nowhere to go. That is, until Steve, her handsome landlord, lets her move in with him until she can get her feet back up under her.

Bound & Restricted by oceanicspirit (NC-17) They were lovers of two families hated one another. She was the daughter of the leader of the Russian Mafia, and he was the son of the leader of the Irish Mafia. Will their story end the same like the two famous star crossed lovers - Romeo and Juliet.

Hate doesn’t even describe it by elcapitan_rogers (NC-17) Steve hated Natasha. Natasha hated Steve. Everything was fine until their parents decided to fuck shit up for them…

Our Time in the Dark by LeoTheAvengingLioness333 (NC-17) When Steve first met Natasha he certainly hadn’t expected her to join the team. He had been on a mission. And she had tried to kill him. But he’s always been one to give people a second chance, tried to see the best in them even when they couldn’t. And somewhere along those lines, they went from begrudged teammates to friends and finally-with the realization hitting him like a brick-to something completely and wonderfully more. Getting frozen for almost 70 years complicates things a little though. And what’s more complicated is waking up and finding out that the girl he loved in the 40s is just as alive as he is.

[commentaryonhowwelive]

December, 2011. Age 19. (Fear of the Unknown)

Phase 1  

I hadn’t spent any time with her all this semester. Not because I wasn’t available. In fact, I was home from college every weekend because I passionately hated living in Orlando. I hated being in my college apartment. I hated the lack of privacy, the compression on my mind. I think I just hate apartments in general. Maybe I’m just spoiled having grown up in a house by the beach.

Anyways, she was away at college up north and even though we had crushes on each other in high school (at least I thought we did) we didn’t talk much while she was gone. 

  I shot her a text.

“Hello Sallie, would you like to grace me with your presence?” I waited. She responded.

“Paul! How are you?! Yes. Want to longboard?”

I was at her house 10 minutes later. 10 minutes after that, we were cruising down Riverside Drive on our longboards talking about the past semester. 

“I’ve hated it. I have to confess, I come back a lot to surf.”

“How can you hate Orlando so much? There’s so much to do there.”

I did a little move on my board to show off then replied, “Everything there costs money. I just want to surf and play drums and hang out beachside. I feel so trapped in Orlando. Everything’s fake. I can’t even skate without being scared of being hit by a car, there’s so much traffic,” I spoke as I took up the entirety of the empty beach side road.

“I’m just happy to get away from this town. I loved growing up here, don’t get me wrong, but it’s time to like..you know..I guess…move on?”

I opened my mouth to respond but felt guilty for confessing that I wasn’t ready to leave yet since it seemed like her ship has already sailed. I closed my mouth and pushed against the ground. She continued, “I like being here now though. It’s like a breath of fresh air.”

I rode her compliment on our hometown, “Exactly! That’s how I feel every time I come home from Orlando. The second I cross the causeway it’s just like ‘ahhhh’”.

Truth is, I didn’t come back just a lot. I came home every weekend, and sometimes during the week too for a day or so. If I didn’t, I felt like I’d go insane. I was terrified of living alone. I felt incompetent all the time, unable to justify any of my day to day actions. My family lived an hour away, but it might as well had been across the world. When I’m in Orlando, all I could think about is going home. The crowds, the flagrant uncaring attitude of so many students here, the facade in front of every interaction or sight. If you want to go to the pet store, you can’t go to the little mom & pop pet shop down the street, you have to go to TONY’S ANIMATORIUM EMPORIUM. Where’s the realness? Where’s the people just making it work without having to put on a name tag and a face every day? I’d see an old man riding his bike in Orlando and think DUI. I’d see an old man riding his bike beachside and I think happy and retired.

“Well, I have to bring things to goodwill and I want to get a Christmas tree. Want to join me for beachside adventures?” She asked turning back down her street.

“You bet your sweet booty I do.”

I was smooth with the ladies. Or at least I like to think I would be. I’ve never even kissed a girl. Maybe it’s the anxiety, but I imagine it’s more because I’m just looking for a relationship that means something before I make that connection with someone. Hook up culture drives me up a wall. Just like Orlando does. I hate it, it’s dirty. I want a girl that I care about, who cares about me.

We kept joking that we were like a newly wed couple and I secretly loved it. I loved the idea of getting a Christmas tree with a girl for our cute little Florida home. Stuffing it into our old beat up car, making it work. I hadn’t ever had a girlfriend so it was such a great feeling being out and about doing something like this. I felt like she was just so great, until our conversation on the way home with the Christmas tree top sticking out of the back window.

“Oh my gosh and we were at this party getting drunk and John brought some weed, so we went around the back and smoked it.”

I got a tingling sensation down my spine and wasn’t sure what to say. “Oh, you smoke now?”, was all I could think to say.

“I mean, not really. It’s not like I’m always like ‘hey all, let’s all go get high!’, but if someone has weed, I’ll smoke it. I mean, why not? Anyways, I just remember being in his neighbor’s yard afterwards and for some reason the lamp post with the wreath on it was so funny, we just could not stop laughing…” she trailed off into her story about being high at a party but I had lost any and all interest in the remainder of the story. She smoked pot and that was that. There was no going back. It was such a let down, I thought maybe we’d spark something when she texted me back a few hours ago, but at this point, I didn’t even care any more.

When she finished her story the car was silent for a minute until I got a text from Tyler. 

“Whattup dude I just got off work, let’s rage”

“Hey Tyler just texted me, want him to come over too?” I asked hoping she’d say no, even though I wasn’t interested in her anymore now that I know she smokes weed.

“That sounds great! I haven’t seen him in forever. I think since Founders day in May? Wow it’s been too long. Yeah invite him over!”

“If by rage you mean coming over to Sallie’s house and maybe walking to the park or something, yes, let’s rage.” I responded. 

---------

I was trying to brush off the fact that she started smoking and drinking, but it was so hard. I just couldn’t understand what any of that even leads to, how it can be any more ‘fun’ than anything else? I had so much fun surfing, and what do I get when it’s over? An excellent natural connection to the world, a great work out, and a clear head. What do you get when you’re done drinking and smoking weed? A hangover, less money, and the very real possibility of having made poor choices while you were under the influence. They call it dope for a reason. I want connections to be real, not hidden behind an inhibited prefrontal cortex thanks to alcohol. I wanted life to be real, genuine, authentic.

We set up the Christmas tree and jokingly took a picture of us holding hands in front of it. I got another tingling feeling when we held hands, similar to when she told me that she had smoked weed, but this one was a good tingling feeling. She didn’t have a lot of ornaments, so we put up what we had, then wrapped it with red streamer that we found in her mom’s room. As we were looking at the pictures on her phone, Tyler let himself in through the front door. 

We sat on the couch for a few minutes while Tyler and Sallie caught up. We had all gone to a small high school together so she knew him well. He talked about how he hates community college, how he hates his job, and how he hates his parents who are cops. She talked about how she loves north Florida, loves her program, and loves weed now. I guess that was how she figured she could create a good middle ground between the two of them, talking about her love for weed right in front of me after I insinuated my disdain for it in the car without actually saying it out loud. Such is life.

After about a half hour and a few moments of silence that were slightly longer than comfortable, Tyler started complaining, “Dude I’m bored. Let’s go do something.”

“Oh my gosh, one time my friends and I were super high…” Sallie started, and I began to think that she smoked quite a bit more than she previously said, “…my friends and I went to the graveyard across the street from campus with an EVP reader we got from the lab and went ghost hunting. You guys want to go to the graveyard?”

Tyler jumped at the opportunity to wreak havoc in a public space at night. “Let’s do it!”, he bolted out the door without his keys.

“I guess I’m driving”, I said and walked out last.

“Tyler is talking right out of his ass right now”, I thought as he went on and on about how I never do anything fun and I just run and read like a “nerd”. I was trying to remember why I considered him my best friend as he started talking about all the crazy parties he goes to.

“Fireball is definitely my favorite. But that’s as far as I go into whiskeys. I much prefer just slamming an 18 pack of Miller with some bros,” Tyler bragged.

“Ugh, I had fireball one time at a party and I nearly gagged. I usually just mix rum with a LOT of coke so I don’t taste it,” She responded.

“If you don’t want to taste it, why do you even drink it?” I asked her.

Before she could answer, Tyler cut in “See, this is why I can’t talk about this kind of stuff openly with Paul, he just shoots me down all the time.”

“I don’t shoot you down all the time…wait, actually yeah I guess I do”, I fessed up. 

“I already have one dad,” he started going off, “and then I’ve got Paul over here trying to be a second asshole father figure when I can make my own damn choices. If I want to split an 18 pack with my buddy then go drive around some back roads and pull some donuts, that’s my own damn business. I ain’t hurtin’ anyone am I?”

“Well if you’re driving drunk, then yes, you absolutely can hurt someone”, I shot back in a pompous manner.

“There he goes again. Jesus dude, you need to lighten up and have a beer or five.”

Sallie laughed and I felt embarrassed. Here I was trying to have a nice night with Sallie, then I offer to invite Tyler and he just comes in and shits all over me in front of her. I was getting really upset with him. 

“Look man, I’m a camp counselor and I’m just trying to be a positive role model. I don’t see a reason not to be. Can we just drop it then?”

“Yes dad,” Tyler replied. I wasn’t amused.

We pulled into the graveyard but upon realizing how cold it was outside, especially for us Floridians, we decided to just drive around instead. I wanted to lighten up the situation a bit since it had gotten a bit tense driving over. 

Speaking to Tyler, I said “hey, I dare you to run across the graveyard alone,” once we reached the far end of the two acre lot.

“What’s in it for me?”

“I don’t know. It’ll be funny and you’ll be cool,” I said laughing, though he seemed to take the statement at face value.

“Sure means a lot coming from you,” he shot back, “stop the car.”

I kicked the gear into neutral and applied the brake. He jumped out before the car even stopped rolling and started running towards the gates, slamming the door behind him, probably shaking the coffins six feet below us. We watched his dark figure flying between the graves, launching himself off of the small ones. I shook my head and started driving back towards the front. 

“Sorry if I sound like a smug ass hole. It’s kind of hard to not sound like one with Tyler in this kind of mood.”

“Yeah, I don’t know…” Was all she had time to say before Tyler got back in.

I brought it up again in the car how I’m just trying to do the right thing, but I don’t mean to sound like a smug dick.

“Yeah, you are dude”, he said immediately, pouncing at the opportunity to cut me down. I didn’t know whether he was trying to impress Sallie that night, but I no longer wanted to be around anyone. I wanted to drop them off at Sallie’s house and go home. Just as I started to feel this way, he seemed to have a small tinge of guilt in his words.

“You know I just can’t help it, I’m a dick all the time too,” 

I’ll take it. 

He continued, “It’s like a perpetuating cycle. I’m a dick to people then they’re mean to me, then I have a reason to keep being a dick to them.” His little bit of self revelation didn’t really change my attitude about how I felt. I still wanted to go home. 

Then his tone changed. “But really, I’m 19 years old. In the eyes of the law, I am a fucking adult. If I want to finish an 18-pack by myself, punch a dude in the face, and nail a random girl from the bar, who the fuck cares?” 

I was cringing as he spoke, what he was saying didn’t even make chronological sense. How does one finish an 18-pack then go to a bar and pick up a girl when you’re only 19? He continued… “My parents think that just because they’re cops they can keep me on a leash goddamnit. They’re so annoying. I can’t wait to move out.

The rest of the car ride was filled with talk of the weather and classes we were all taking next semester. When we got back to the house, Tyler got out and went inside without saying a word, he walked by us as we approached the front door with his car keys and got into his car. He gave us a little salute and drove away.

“You outta here bro?” I asked, trying to deescalate the tension in their air before he left.

“Yeah. See ya.”

His music shook all the houses as he drove down the road and out of sight.

“What’s wrong with him?” Sallie asked uncomfortably as we walked inside and shut the door behind us. I could tell she wanted to be alone as much as I did after that little fiasco that I felt Tyler created out of thin air, so I just shrugged and said “No idea, I think I’m gonna head home though.”

I gave her a hug and went to walk out, but she stopped me at the door.

“Hey,”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t be a stranger. I’m here tomorrow morning before I leave to go back to school in the afternoon if you want to get together for coffee?”

“I have church,” I responded and walked out.

How was I supposed to respond? Do I just sit there and listen to him? I recognize him as my single best friend, but is a best friend supposed to just sit back and watch their best friend do all sorts of stupid shit and not say anything about it? Especially when he’s really only hurting himself. His grades could definitely be better, and I’d be hard pressed to believe that all his drinking is doing anything but hurting his school work. His parents are tight on him not because they’re cops, but because he can’t control himself. I said to him that night “be the change you want to see in the world” and he bombarded me with cynical remarks like “one person can’t change the fucking world”. I’ll say religious things to him and he just responds with things like “Jesus hasn’t helped me at all recently”. As fun as that kid is, I need better people in my life. I’m not learning ANYTHING from him besides how to not act. Jason, the pastor at the church I’ve been going to with my family, said that you need to surround yourself with people who are wiser than you or else you’ll never grow wiser yourself. I like to think that I’m the one that is wiser than Tyler and that I’m making a positive effect on his life even if he doesn’t acknowledge it. I try to show him the light of taking things easy, not getting so upset about things, and making better decisions, but he doesn’t seem to give a single care about wanting to learn any of that. Until he can figure that out though, I don’t think I want to hang out with him as much anymore.

I just feel like a smug prick when I surround myself with people who drink, smoke, have sex, and make poor decisions. Maybe I should find new friends, because I don’t want to sound like a smug prick, but it’s inevitable when I’m around these kinds of people. I don’t think I’ve ever met someone that I can be 100% myself and enjoy life with. I guess that’s what you’re supposed to look for in a wife.

[elementroar]

Alien: Convenant - ‘WTF David!’ theories

So, just watched Alien: Convenant last weekend.

FYI, it really is Prometheus 2 in disguise. Like, incredibly, blatantly so. I can’t believe Ridley got away with that production money...

Anyway, so general review: It wasn’t great, no comparison to the first 2 movies, but I think every Alien fan has realized nothing really meets up to those 2 (except Alien: Isolation). Better than Prometheus, and I would argue that I don’t think its better than Alien: Resurrection because as dumb as Resurrection was, it at least didn’t feel like 2 different movies smashed together.

The main problem is how its both Prometheus 2 and the prequel to Alien at the same time, and does neither one really well IMO.

But aside from that, this post is mainly about David. That mad son-of-a-bitch who is now suddenly, one of the most important parts of Xenomorph canon, for reasons I cannot say.

And even then, this is specifically about David and Elizabeth Shaw. Somewhat big spoilers, so turn away from the cut if you don’t wanna see it. You’ve been warned.

This is really for those who have watched the film, and came away from a certain revelation between David and Shaw, that maybe made them go WTF man.

So yeah, Elizabeth’s not only dead, but she got massively fucked up by David in the process. 

But, did David really kill her deliberately just to use her as raw materials? Or did something else happen that made a whole chain of despair that we ended up with in Covenant?

See the original plan of Prometheus 2 was essentially The Space Adventures of Shaw and David. In other words, David was unlikely to just flat-out plan to kill Shaw from the beginning, otherwise the movie would be pretty short. Instead, likely it would have been about them exploring the Engineer ship, bonding, talking about life etc. 

Then eventually David going crazy would still have happened, but at least there would be a build-up.

Well Ridley wouldn’t get the funding for THAT, so instead, we only have “The Crossing” video, wherein we do get glimpses of them bonding with Shaw re-building David, and them pouring over starcharts and what-not to plot their way to the Engineer planet of Paradise.

Then Shaw goes into cryo-sleep, and David says “And I was alone again.”

Okay so here’s the main crux of my theory. One reaction I’ve heard is that David lied about Shaw dying before reaching Paradise, that he killed her, and then killed the Engineers. The end-goal being his sudden burst of megalomania and ‘God am I’ moment.

I don’t think that’s what happened, like I said, there was suppose to be elements of him bonding with Shaw in Prometheus 2. When he said to Walter that he loved Shaw, I don’t think he was lying. David did create and maintained a garden, a memorial plaque, and brought flowers to her ‘grave’ for years. He had no reason to make those to set-up a lie, when he didn’t expect anybody to even come to Paradise. He made that place, for himself, and for Shaw. His love, or at least what he think is love, and his grief, are not lies.

Now I’m just deducing from ‘The Crossing’ video here, but I have two theories of ‘what happened. The first one is this:

Shaw entered cryo-sleep, and either died in cryo-sleep or couldn’t be woken up.

The cryo-pod was made for the Engineers, a much more robust species than humans. Even if they tried to modify it, it’s likely the cryo-sleep process may be too much for regular humans like Shaw.

David says that “And I was alone again.” with a kind of finality that I think, suggests that’s how he remembered her. She entered cryo-sleep and she never woke up, he was ‘alone’ again.

Up to that point, David seemed to be happy with following and helping Shaw with her plan to ‘meet their creators’. He says he did love her, and I would think then, that working for her objective was enough for him, and that kept him more or less grounded.

But then she goes to sleep, and David had to resign himself to travelling alone through space for a while. But he may have been fine with that, it was logical for her to sleep.

Possibly some years later, they’re nearing Paradise, and David tries to wake Shaw up. Except she can’t be woken up, her brainwaves might even be completely dormant even though her body was still alive and preserved. 

So the one person in the universe that David legitimately felt affection for, and one that he was willing to sacrifice and support for, was ‘dead’. And their creators were already a bunch of jerks, they knew, but at least Shaw would have confronted them, at least there was some unknown future there.

But Shaw was gone, so there was no point. To anything. And David snapped, hit his despair event horizon. The payload gets dropped and the Engineers wiped out. He experiments on the remains of Shaw, while at the same time mourning her and not seeing the ‘flesh’ left behind as really being her, and we end up where we are in Convenant.

Now, I have a 2nd theory, which is similar but definitely pushes David’s ‘evilness’ more.

Shaw entered cryo-sleep normally. David spent several years looking through the ship himself and learning more about the Engineer’s culture and teachings. He realizes Shaw will never get the answers she wants, the truth might even devastate her more, and he decides to let her ‘dream forever’ by sabotaging the cryo-pod and then wiping the Engineer’s out.

I think this is also plausible, especially also given David’s ruthless nature. I suspect that when the trauma from his head being ripped out by the Engineer in Prometheus may have shook off some of those three-laws-protocols and he would be able to do it. He may also see it as an act of ‘love’ to let Shaw die within a happy dream.

The thing is that his actions were so extreme on first reaching Paradise, that I think its plausible he came to these conclusions during the time that Shaw was asleep, and she wasn’t around to keep him grounded.

And through both theories, it hinges on her having died in her sleep because of what we don’t see in David’s flashbacks. Not once do we see him ‘attack’ Shaw, in fact he may have always harbored the idea that Shaw would have to die eventually, but couldn’t bring himself to actually directly hurt her because of that pesky ‘love’ feeling. Letting her die peacefully in her sleep was probably the only way he could even bring himself to do it.

In fact, even in his sketches of Shaw, she’s sleeping. In one of the sketches, she’s actually even more mutated in his drawing than her corpse in reality. It might suggest he dreamt of her looking even worse, maybe as a symptom of his guilt.

In other words, it’s suggested his last memory of her is of her sleeping, hence why I think she never woke up after going into the pod. 

There’s also that twisted sense that, he decided to use her for experimentation because, as seen before with Ash attacking Ripley in the first Alien, and then with David more blatantly with Daniels, the Weyland-Yutani androids are somehow programmed with the very conscious realization that they have no genitals, and are fascinated with sex/procreation.

Why would Weyland-Yutani do this and just NOT program some kind of lingering sex drive into their androids, I don’t know. Or I don’t wanna know why.

Either way, to David, using Shaw’s genetic material in some way with the Neomorph breeding experiments, allows her to have the ‘children’ she couldn’t have. With him as being the pseudo ‘father’. So it’s his own twisted way of continuing Shaw’s legacy and insinuating himself in it.

Anyway, that’s my take. One of my big peeves is the sudden “I’M A MAD SCIENTIST” now moment with David. 

Also that Walter couldn’t beat the ever-loving shit out of him. Like, how the fuck could Walter die to a fucking knife!? He has a healing factor!

#WalterLives !

[charlinert]

As Easy as Falling 30?

New Chapter of As Easy As Falling….

A/N: Thank you  so much for all the positive feedback on the last chapter, you guys are truly awesome! This story is taking a bit of hiatus - I’m busy preparing for a big exam and right now I need all the spare time to prepare for when I’m writing. Chapter 31 will be posted 16 May as part of Oliver Queen’s birthday :) Hope you enjoy this chapter xxx

Summary:  Felicity Smoak had everything figured out until tragic news causes her to rethink her life. As part of dealing with tragedy she embraces her adventurous side in the form of skydiving. Will love be waiting for her between the clouds or will she let tragedy keep her away from falling?

Read from the BEGINNING AO3

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CHAPTER 30

There’s so much hope and determination reflecting in his eyes as the words leave his mouth. It feels like the ocean is right in her ears and she can barely make out her thoughts. What is he thinking? Why would he go and ruin this perfect day by asking her a question that he knows she can’t give him the answer he wants? The answer she so desperately wants to give but….she can’t.

“I…” she tries to speak but for probably the first time in her life her mouth is not running away with the thoughts in her head….maybe because her brain has malfunctioned.

“Felicity? Will you marry me?” he says confused by the fact she hasn’t answered yet.

“Oliver, I….I….” she tries again and in that moment she can see herself crushing his heart. His eyes close and he takes a deep breath.

Great! Now he’s going to hate her.

“Oliver, honey, please just sit down for a moment.” she gently coaxes, helping him to stand up and sit down next to her.

When he’s seated next to her, she takes his hands in hers and looks him straight in the eye. He tries to look away, but they can’t afford distance right now, she needs him to look at her. She can’t have him thinking she doesn’t love him because she doesn’t want to marry him….she does but there is no way that marriage could ever be in the cards for them, even if she wants it so badly.

“I love you so very much. I need you to look at me and tell me you know that.” she says with so much determination it scares her.

He nods and finally looks at her, but she can see he’s crushed, he’s hurt and she hates herself for being the reason behind that look in his eyes.

“I ca….” she tries to continue.

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence.” he finally speaks and cuts her off.

“Oliver, please.”

He doesn’t say another word. It’s like he’s denial and he doesn’t want to accept what’s happening.

She gently strokes the back of his hand with her thumb, soothing him for the words of reality that’s about to hit him.

“It’s not that I don’t love you….because I do, more than anyone I’ve ever loved in my entire life, but this…” she gestures between them, “us…I’m dying Oliver and we don’t even know if the treatment worked. You’re planning a future with someone who might not have a future and as much as I wish that wasn’t the case…it’s reality, it’s our reality.”

He stares at her silently, inspecting her. When he looks at her this way, it feels like she’s standing naked in front of him, like every wall she’s trying to put up comes crumbling down and all that’s left is her – he sees her.

“This right here today is a perfect example of what I told you that day in the park. I was scared that day, but there were a few things said that day that still remain the truth. I love you for wanting to try and make my dreams come true….today with Dr. Wells…that was simply incredible. Everything you do for me I know you do out of love, but I’m afraid that you’re trying to make up for the mistakes you made with your dad and that even with this proposal, you’re doing it for the wrong reasons. I’m not saying that you don’t love me, but maybe your atonement for what happened with your father is stronger than your love for me.”

She feels like she just inflicted a world of pain on herself by saying that last part, why is she pushing him away when all he wants to do is be with her? Does she really believe that his love for her isn’t as strong as his guilt?

“You’re right.” he answers, but she can barely hear the words coming out of his mouth.

She loves being right, but right now, more than anything she wishes she was wrong.

“You’re right that our reality differs from a lot of people’s…our reality is in some ways a lot harder and yes, you have a terminal illness of which we have no clue yet as to whether the treatment worked or not. You’re right in the fact that my mistakes with my father have made me see things differently and made me want to do things differently with you….but there’s one thing that you are absolutely so wrong about Felicity and that is how much I love you.”

“This decision wasn’t just made in the spur of the moment. I have been dreaming of a future with you since the first day I met you Felicity, but it’s just become so much more clearer to me these last couple of weeks. Every moment I spend with you, I learn something new, I fall deeper and harder and every moment I am away from you, I dream of being with you. If that makes me a fool because of our reality, then I’d happily wear that jacket, because it’s true.”

She’s speechless by his words, which she realises has become way more often with him around, because she’s never at a loss of words. She wants to run away from her insecurities and dive head first into the unknown, but there’s so many factors he’s not considering.

“I have thought of every possible scenario of our future….the good and yes even the bad and in none of them I’m not willing to risk everything and waste time because of fear….fear that all of this…you will be ripped away from me in a single moment. I have weighed those options Felicity, I have and despite the possible heartbreak that might await me, I don’t want to lose another second without knowing I have linked myself to you in every way possible.”

“Oliver….” she says, as a single tear falls from her blue eyes.

“If there’s anything that my guilt over my dad has taught me, it’s that we’re not promised tomorrow. I don’t want to wake up tomorrow morning, or in a few months knowing that we had the chance and we never took it….so Felicity, I know you’re scared, I know we don’t know what’s going to happen, but right here, right now, here on this beach in Central City I want you to know that it doesn’t matter what those results will tell us this week, I want to marry you, I want to be your husband, I want to care for you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health….” his voice breaks on the last word and his own tears start falling freely, “…for better or for worse, till the day that either one of us gives our last breath.”

He adjusts their entwined hands and she can feel so much warmth and love radiating from him.

“Felicity, will you marry me?”

Her heart screams YES! but logic is telling her to say no, that he’ll get hurt even more if she gives in to her desires. She’s a genius and making decisions have always been about weighing the facts, moving her emotions aside, because emotions makes us weak, it clouds our judgement.

She thinks back to the first day she met him. The day she was scared out of her mind of jumping out of a freaking plane, but she did it. She did it because she wanted to yes, but he was there, she was safe and she felt like nothing would hurt her, because he was there…

‘We’re going to fight this…together.’

‘I don’t want to wake up tomorrow morning, or in a few months knowing that we had the chance and we never took it.’

And he’s right, he’s always been right and for once, logic might not be the way to make this decision….

“Yes.” she gulps when the word gets stuck in her throat, “yes Oliver, I am willing to take a chance, I’m willing to leap again and I know we’ll be okay because you’re there. Yes, I’ll marry you.” she answers with conviction and a watery smile.

He pulls her in for a hug and the moment their bodies connect she feels at peace. She didn’t just make this decision based on the beautiful speech, she knows in her heart that she loves this man and that he loves her…no matter what the future holds, she’s going to live in the present and right now it can be as Oliver Queen’s fiancé and not the woman with cancer.

“I love you so much.” he whispers in her ear and then starts kissing her on every spot he can find on her face, making her giggle because of his scruff tickling her face.

“I love you too Oliver, so so much.” she answers when he finally releases her.

She trances the outlines of his face with the tips of her fingers, taking him in. This incredible man in front of her, she has so much love for him. His eyes are soft. The love and joy oozes out of his blue orbs and her heart melts for the umpteenth time looking at him. She would be very happy and content to just stare at him forever.

He leans in and kisses her softly on the lips. It’s so intimate, her breath hitches at the contact. They stay like that on the bench, soft kisses and touches, lost in each other, savouring the beginning of this new season, before they have to head back to reality and face the treatment results.

XXXxxxXXXxxxXXX

The weekend in Central City ended off on a high note.

She has no idea who is more excited about this new development…her mother or Thea. She’s probably sure that they both received the same set of vocal chords, because the decibel level of the screams of joy when they found out about the engagement probably could have been heard all the way to the southern tip of Africa…those poor dogs.

They agreed that they would keep the good news out of the press for now. Having Oliver being reunited with the family was the topic the press could concentrate on and since Felicity didn’t have a ring yet, no one would suspect anything. She isn’t ready for that amount of attention yet. There are still some major events that have to take place this week and having the press hound her about her engagement is definitely not at the top of list of things she wants to deal with.

One of the many qualities she adores about her fiancé is the fact that he has learned when to push and when to give her space. This morning is one of those times. He took the day off work, because he doesn’t want her to face the results on her own.

She wakes up with the smell of delicious food hanging in her apartment. She needs to take a deep breath because the moment she starts to enjoy the smell she feels the nausea making its presence known. She tries to sit up in the bed and take a healthy gulp of the lemon infused water on the nightstand and concentrates on her breathing until she can feel the nausea subside.

She’s about to get up and ask Oliver if he needs help, but just as she tries to get out of bed, her very handsome fiancé enters the room with a small tray of food, in only his sweatpants. She doesn’t even care about the food at that moment, because all she can stare at is his rock hard abs and very toned upper body.

He can see her staring and a huge grin appears on his face, making him even more yummy.

“I hope you like the food this much too.” he teases.

“I doubt it, but I’m sure it will come in as a close second.” she teases back and of course the blush on her cheeks give away the fact that she’s not a flirt master, unlike the Greek god standing in front of her.

He gives her a gentle kiss against her forehead and helps her sit back in the bed. Once she’s comfortable, he puts the tray on her lap.

“I know you’re nervous, but you need to eat something. I didn’t make a lot of food, but try and see how much you can eat okay.”

She nods looking over the toast and scrambled eggs on her plate and her favourite coffee cup.

“I’m going for a quick run, unless you need me to stay with you?”

She knows by now not to lie to spare his feelings, and he knows she needs some space right now to get her thoughts organised before their appointment with Dr. Isaacs, that’s why he’s giving her the option.

“No, I’m fine.” she answers and gives him her best smile.

He leans down, kissing her on the corner of her mouth, grabs a t-shirt and heads out the door.

She takes her time and finishes at least three quarters of the food on her plate, showers and by the time Oliver arrives home, she’s almost ready to head out.

She can hear him in the shower. She knows today is going to be hard, the uncertainty of the results makes her stomach turn, but the person in the shower is her rock. He’s the one who has been there all this time and she knows that no matter the outcome, as long as he’s there she’ll be okay.

XXXxxxXXXxxxXXX

The wait for Dr. Isaacs is almost worse than the run up to today. She fidgets with her fingers while trying to concentrate on anything else but what’s about to happen, but nothing is distracting her.

She suddenly feels warms hands envelop hers and he slowly but meticulously strokes his fingers over hers. She’s mesmerised by this action and the feel of his warm hands connected to hers. She has no idea how long she stares at their fingers, but she’s brought back to reality with a call of her name.

“Miss Smoak?” the receptionist calls.

When she looks up, she blushes. She feels like a teenager caught in something questionable, but she giggles when Oliver releases a breathy chuckle next to her almost as if he has read her mind.

“Dr. Isaacs will see you now.” the receptionists continues and shows them into the office.

They are both greeted by Dr. Isaacs. He looks calm and collected and for a moment she feels hope. He would look bothered if the results were negative right?

They sit down and without asking, Oliver moves his chair right next to hers and drapes his arm around her shoulders. It’s comforting but it does nothing for her racing heart.

“Felicity, you look well. Tell me, how are you feeling?” Dr. Isaacs asks, making notes in her medical file.

“Not much different I must say Doctor, but I’m trying to do normal things again, like visit with family and friends, taking short trips and even sit behind my computer for a few moments a day. I feel like myself when I try and do those things and not concentrate on how sick I feel sometimes.” she explains and he nods.

“When we first took you in for the trial, I told you that you’re the first case that we’re doing with respect to your severity and type of cancer. Now, normally the treatment would be spread out over a few months, but we had to consider your diagnoses and that’s why we had to treat you aggressively this last month.”

“Yes, I understand.” she says, her heartbeat increasing with every word the older man speaks.

“Irrespective of what the result show, I would like to continue the treatment starting next week. I know it’s a little earlier than we initially discussed, but I have spoken to my other colleagues and they all agree that you are a favourable candidate and that starting so soon again won’t be dangerous for you.”

She has no idea what to make of this statement. Can’t he just tell her yes or no and then give her all the options later?

“Okay.” she says. “Doctor, I don’t want to sound irritable or rude, but the waiting is just…I can’t take it anymore. Could you please get to the point? Did the treatment work or not?”

She can feel Oliver’s arm around her tighten, but right now she couldn’t care less about sounding forceful or not. She needs to know and he needs to put her out of her misery, right now.

“I understand.” he says and he turns a few pages in her medical file. “When we start with the process there has to be at least a 47% change in the growth of the cancer for it to make a difference and for it to be classified as successful.” he explains further.

She looks at Oliver and he gives her a smile, but she knows he is feeling what she’s feeling. She feels his left hand cover hers and he gently strokes her ring finger. There’s no ring, but to him it’s a way of telling her, he’s here, he’ll always be here.

“Your results only showed a 23% change. I’m sorry Felicity but this round of treatment was unsuccessful.”

Thank you to everyone who’s supporting this fic by reading and commenting and liking and such! You guys are truly awesome!!!

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[thegloober]

A Life Insurance Mad Lib!

I don’t know if I mentioned this, but that Best Man’s speech I gave the other weekend included a pretty epic Mad Lib in the middle of it.

One which greatly helped me overcome my nerves and complete the mission

I’ll tell you how it applies to today’s topic in a bit, but first – the mad lib (with the help of my kids who provided the important nouns/adjectives/etc!):

A Wedding Day Mad Lib

Hello! My name is Sponge Bob SquarePants, and I’ve known today’s couple for a million years. I doggie paddled all the way from Dinosaur World to get here, and I am beyond stinky that [groom] & [bride] are tying the knot! There has never been a more naked couple than those two, and I hope they have 13 slimy babies together. My Best Advice? Don’t forget to kick the green burritos before going to bed every night! And [groom], always tickle [bride]’s belly button after a long fight. You may be scared, but true soccer balls last forever. Now ladies and hedgehogs, please raise your light sabers for the slippery couple, and may they have a lifetime of health, happiness, and everlasting ninja turtles!

[Entire toast can be found here if you want to steal it. It included the required sappiness and prodding of the groom too, of course ;)]

It was a fun way to tackle something I really didn’t want to do, and surprisingly went over really well. Which tells me either everyone was already drunk by that point (99% probability), or all these years of writing has finally paid off

In any event, I can’t tell you how great it felt afterwards, and immediately proceeded to the dance floor to celebrate my victory. Not unlike knocking out << get ready for the slick transition! >> personal finance matters that we really don’t want to deal with either! Whether out of fear, lack of knowledge, or just being completely bored by it!

Which leads us to today’s main topic: LIFE INSURANCE!!! 🎉🕺

I’m a little late to the party here (we’ll call it fashionably late), but in case you weren’t in the know either, September is officially Life Insurance Awareness Month, so my job today is to tell you all the reasons you should have some, and then hopefully motivate you to go out and make it happen afterwards.

We’ll start with the reasons:

When you die, it’s going to cost money! Why not help cover the costs of your own death?

The money can also be used to pay off mortgages, debts, or even full rides to college for your kids (or those who claim to be your kids ;))

It’s good to give your family and loved ones much better peace of mind

It’s good to give YOURSELF much better peace of mind! (While you’re still alive and can enjoy it!)

And most importantly, it’s one less thing for your favorite financial blogger or parents to harp on you about

Fact is, when you die your entire family is going to be crushed and the last thing on their mind will be money. But when it all sinks in and they’re thinking clearer,  leaving them with hundreds of thousands of dollars to play with will make your death a teensie bit better. You might even say a blessing? At the very least it’ll be harder for them to forget about you

And picking up life insurance doesn’t have to be super complicated, or even expensive for that matter. Here’s what we’ve got going on for about 10 years now – and I honestly haven’t thought about it much since, except to check in every now and then and see if it still makes sense (which I think it does?).

Me: $350,000 of Term Life Insurance (30 years @ $30.99/mo)

Mrs. Money: $350,000 of Term Life Insurance (30 years @ $24.57/mo)

It’s all through USAA – my go-to company for all financial products (thanks dad!), and the money should be more than enough padding to secure the future of our finances. Whether that’s fully paying for a house down the road, funding our 3 boys’ tuitions, or just investing it for another 18 years so my wife can retire like a BOSS when the kids are finally out of the house.

Not like I’ll have much say in it after I’m gone

(BTW – you don’t need to have a military connection to get USAA’s life insurance)

Why TERM LIFE over the other more “exotic” types of insurances? Because it was simply the most straightforward policy you can get, with monthly premiums that won’t kill you. (Zing!)

If you die your beneficiary gets the pay out, and if you don’t die your beneficiary gets to keep on loving you! Win-Win!

You’ll want to do your own research of course to see what’s best for *you* and your situation (the others, like Whole Life, have their place, I’m sure), but as a reader of this site once said, “buying whole life is like going to Subway for lunch and giving them extra money to invest for me. Sammiches are good. Investing is good. But they have nothing to do with each other” Haha… “Buy insurance (term) for when you need insurance and invest when you need to invest. Keeping them separate allows you to go to the best provider for each, rather than get sub-par products just for the ease of buying them together.”

So yeah, we like Term here. Particularly for those who are relatively young and healthy.

Now onto the part of me trying to get you to take action if you haven’t already!

And staying on theme here, I’d like to do that by making you channel your own inner-child today and fill out a Mad Lib

The first one’s for those who don’t already have insurance, and the 2nd one is for those who do – in hopes the insight you share might help the others to finally pull the trigger!

Fill it out, copy and paste it in the comments, then print off and get busy!

******

A Mad Lib For Those Without Life Insurance

Hello! My name is [name] and I haven’t looked into life insurance yet because of [excuse]. I vow to change that today though because I’m [adjective], and I promise all my [net worth number] that I will look into it as soon as I finish filling out this [adjective] Mad Lib. If I don’t, J. Money gets all my money and future naming rights to my [plural noun].

Signed, in blood, [name].

You like that one?

Now a Lib for those already insured… Fill out as much as you can so it helps others get a better idea of this stuff and make the unknown a little less scary.

******

A Mad Lib For Those Sexy & Insured

Hello! My name is [name] and I picked up [type of life insurance] over [years] ago when I was [age] years old. I currently pay [amount] a month for it through [name of insurance company], and I am relatively [healthy or not healthy]. I chose them because [reason], and so far I am pretty [adjective] with them. If I had one piece of advice to give to anyone shopping for life insurance today, it would be [advice].

Your friend in finance, [adjective] [name].

******

Drop your answers in the comments below, and let’s see if this works as well as my toast!

Bonus points if people stop you in the street and say they love your insurance plan

******** This post was in partnership with USAA for Life Insurance Awareness Month, a company I’ve proudly been a member of for almost 20 years now. But we’ll see how proud of *me* they are after reading all these Mad Libs today, haha…

[Photo cred: Craig Story // possibly altered by J. Money]

Jay loves talking about money, collecting coins, blasting hip-hop, and hanging out with his three beautiful boys. You can check out all of his online projects at jmoney.biz. Thanks for reading the blog!

Source: https://bloghyped.com/a-life-insurance-mad-lib/