#my qpp had to deal with me hating on this

[cleverthylacine]

Ship and HC what you want--but I hate Ravage & Soundwave parent-child headcanons so much. I'm finally gonna say it. They can be adult best friends rather than lovers, but the family thing makes my skin crawl. Here's why.

The following is just my personal opinion. Everyone who reads this is free to engage with it, but I don't want to fight about it, and I am not trying to make anyone give up their headcanons, whether those are romantic, sexy, familial, or just friendly.

(The Ravage I write in my fics and RP, like ES Ravage, prefers she/her pronouns. I am aware that Ravage uses he/him in other continuities.)

I am really freaking uncomfortable with most of the common familial headcanons about Soundwave and Ravage, Soundwave and his cassettes in general, and the whole cassette thing. And I will also die screaming before I tag erotic content between two fully sapient beings as "bestiality".

I would rather think of Ravage and Soundwave as bonded lovers (and the birds as her siblings) then think of Soundwave as either of the following:

An Abusive Father who sends his own children directly into the heat of battle out to fight as child soldiers; or

A Large Adult Son who allows his parent and her siblings to be mutilated so he can drag her off into places like mining colonies and war zones, where she ministers to his emotional needs while also fighting for him in the heat of battle, and has no life or relationships of her own.

Because no matter how many cat memes you draw, neither of those things is cute. You have the right to ship whatever you want to ship same as me, but I don't want to read either dynamic.

He is NOT the single father of the year if he's yeeting his children onto battlefields.

He is NOT a good son if his mother is telepathically linked to him, programmed so that he can yeet her out into battlefields in less than a second, and unable to have any romantic or QP partnerships of her own.

If he is her lover (conjunx) or her QPP (amica), and the meeting they had in Rodion was a meeting of two neurodivergent adults who learned how to help and support each other in dealing with their disabilities, and they both want to be together even in the depths of hell, then they have a much less horrific and unhealthy relationship.

I was once made to play IDW Ravage as not Soundwave's partner in a dreamwidth game because they didn't like the ship, and she was a miserable, unhappy person who had given up her entire life to serve Soundwave and Megatron.

This really solidified my feelings about not just why I think their relationship is romantic and adorable, but also why I think a parental relationship between them, going in either direction, is incredibly fucking gross.

Making them mutually interdependent neurodiverse adults with complementary support needs, who love each other in a mature way or even an 'adult' way changes the narrative.

If Ravage is Soundwave's life partner, then the forced cassettification has imposed a power differential on them, but it is significantly lessened by the fact that they were already together and interacting as grown-ass adults who loved each other before that took place.

In other scenarios, she's being thrown by her father up against mechs 4 times her size, OR she's a devoted parent who has been emotionally enslaved by cassettification and can't even have an adult relationship of her own because who the hell is going to want to be her partner knowing that she has an unbreakable telepathic link with her son? And you can't really say she's trading this emotional labour for protection when he's yeeting her out into the front lines every third episode.

IDK, I think glorifiying parents who send their children to war and enmeshed parenting that renders someone an appendage to their child is a lot less problematic than letting them meet as adults and learn how to help one another.

Every time I see someone draw humanformer Soundwave and Ravage as a collared pet, I want to scream, but I don't, because everyone has the right to write and draw what makes them happy.

My friends know NOT to send me links to art that diminishes Ravage.

Ravage may look like a cat, but she passes the Harkness test, and her entire arc in IDW was about getting people to respect her as an equal despite the thing where she looks like a cat.

Her brain and spark are equal to that of any other Cybertronian. It's not bestiality. There's no reason a telepath would care more about the shape of her body than the feel of her mind.

I would rather think that she's getting love and respect and hot overloads from Soundwave than think that she's selflessly devoted to him and to Megatron for all of her days until Tarn locks her into that fucking refrigerator. Or think that she's a child soldier.

[solitaireships]

Untitled Investigative Minds Ficlet

Alright, final fic for the night, thank you all for dealing with the influx of pieces from me lol. Yes this is another very personal one bcs this is basically me living the fantasy of my f/os comforting me when I'm getting really bad period cramps bcs the ones that wake you up in the middle of the night truly are an evil creation

Also, the debut of me shipping with Strahm! This takes place in an AU separate from the usual Missing Piece canon, with this being a modern AU. I don’t have the full specifics of the AU, but Mark and Shepard are married in it and Strahm is Mark’s bf and Shepard’s qpp

Rating: Teen

Genre: Fluff

Words: 768 words

Divider by saradika

Content warning: periods + period cramps

The first night of Shepard’s period is always the worst. It’s not unusual for her to wake up in the middle of the night feeling like her insides are tearing themselves apart— something that happened tonight at 3 in the morning. The time she spent in the bathroom barely helped with the pain and nausea, and the Advil she took hasn’t kicked into effect as she made her way back into bed. 

Getting back into bed is harder than it used to be. Shepard shared a bed with just Mark for years, but now that she shares a bed with both her husband and his boyfriend, she has two people to navigate around to get to her spot in the middle of the bed. Mark is snoring, and she’s pretty sure that Peter’s asleep, but it’s hard to tell for sure. She knows Mark’s a deep sleeper, so she climbs over him, slotting in between him and Peter and hoping she didn’t bother either of them. 

She cuddles up to Mark’s side, hoping the painkiller she took will take effect so she doesn’t keep feeling like she’s about to throw up. Maybe then it’ll be easier for her to go back to sleep. 

Shepard lays in silence for a moment, trying not to get too caught up in her discomfort. She can’t help but let out a soft, pained noise that she tries to muffle against Mark’s shoulder. She must not have completely silenced the noise, though, because she feels a hand brush against her side and Peter shifts closer to her. 

“Are you alright?” he grumbles, his voice rough with sleep. 

“I’m fine. Sorry if I woke you up,” she says. 

“You were in the bathroom for a while,” he comments. “What’s wrong?”

Shepard feels a pang of guilt in her chest at that. She must have woken up him when she got out of bed originally. That had to have been thirty minutes or so ago now. She hopes he got at least a little sleep before she just woke him up again. 

And she hopes that explaining what’s wrong won’t be too awkward. She hates having to talk about this with people.

“Sorry. I… I’m on my period,” she says. 

“Cramps, then?” Peter asks. 

“And nausea.”

“I don’t think mine ever got to the point of waking me up in the middle of the night. At least not often.”

“You’re a lucky man,” Shepard says, as dry as she can. 

“Even luckier now that I don’t have them anymore,” Peter says.

“God, yeah.”

Peter cuddles closer to Shepard. She can feel his breath on the back of her neck with how her hair’s pulled back into a bun, and the warmth of it is pleasant. 

Just being with Peter is pleasant, though. Shepard hadn’t expected getting close to him like this. When Mark started flirting with him, she had figured what they had would stay between just the two of them, with Peter being able to fulfill Mark’s needs in ways that Shepard couldn’t. But things evolved between the two of them, going from coworkers-with-benefits to boyfriends, and as Peter got more involved in Mark's life, he also got more involved in Shepard’s. And, like she did with Mark, she ended up liking him a lot more than she expected. 

Shepard doesn’t love Peter in the same way, though. What she has with Mark is romantic. Her and Peter’s relationship is better described as queerplatonic. It’s still new, but it’s exciting. At least when she’s not regretting her entire life because of cramps. 

Relief floods over her though as Peter wraps his arms around her, sliding his hands under her shirt. They’re warm, and he rubs gentle circles into her stomach. The combined pressure of Peter against her back and Mark to her front is soothing too, allowing her tense muscles to relax. 

Shepard sighs. “Strahm.”

“Is that good for you?” he asks. 

“Great,” she says. 

“Then close your eyes and go to sleep. I’m not going to do this forever,” Peter says. His tone is snippy, but she knows he’s just putting on an act. 

Peter likes to go through life with a prickly outer shell, keeping anyone from getting too close. But Shepard knows him well enough to know he would keep doing this as long as he had to, even if he would complain about it. He’s nicer than even he likes to admit. 

“Thank you,” she says. “And good night.”

“Good night, Shepard,” Peter replies. He plants a quick kiss on the back of her neck. “Now go back to sleep.”

[bewitched-forest]

20 questions for writers, tagged by @gremlin-bot

How many works do you have on AO3? I have 17 total works posted! And I believe, like, two or three WIPs I haven't? I dunno, I'd have to double check.

What's your total AO3 word count? 260,118. I- I don't even know how to react to that. Holy shit.

What Fandoms do you write for? I write for mostly DC, Danny Phantom, and Artemis Fowl. I have done a Spiritfarer au and a FNAF crossover over fic though. Just one of each. No, they're not the same fic.

What are your top 5 fics by Kudos? Danny & Billy: Brothers in Too Much Power The Rebirth of Tim Drake Ancient Deals Phantom Feathers Danny & Billy: Brothers in Too Much Power The Rehash

Do you respond to comments? Why/Why not? I actually try to respond to all my comments! I really enjoy all of them and I want them to know! (Yes, even the person who insists on leaving over 2000 hearts on every chapter) For certain fics, *cough* Rebirth *cough*, I also just enjoy torturing some of them by not actually answering their questions.

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? None of my completed fics really have angsty endings, I guess. Once I finish Now We're Stuck Here to Decay or How to Fowl A Bat, maybe? But even then, both of those fic are suppose to get more solemn but hopeful endings than just a straight angsty one. I just like hopeful endings I guess.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I can firmly say a fic that I finished for the recent DPxDC WIP Swap, which is What Once Was Lost Must Now Be Found. Eldritch homeless boy Danny gets himself a family in the Bats. ^-^

Do you get hate on fics? Not hate, really. Some unnecessary criticism, sure, but not what I'd call hate.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I haven't actually really written smut. I mean I did roleplays with ocs before, but never like straight written it soooo. Yeah.

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one? I do write crossovers! Exclusively crossovers. XD I'd have to say Formula For a Crime Scene, which a three-way crossover with Danny Phantom, DC (Specifially BatFam), and Artemis Fowl.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? No, not to my knowledge.

Have you ever had a fic translated? I have not had one translated, no. I would not be opposed to it however, as long as I was asked and somehow tagged in it.

Have you ever co-written a fic? Yes, I have done multiple actually! All mine actually come from events. Weltschmerz is a fic I am actively co-writing as a results of Patrol Partners with @spite-sapphic-starlight, @gremlin-bot, and @half-dead-ham. Ham and Gremlin are my partners and Kate is the... stubborn QPP that got us together. XD What Once Was Lost, which I mentioned earlier, is from a WIP Swap. Gunebug started that fic, and I finished it. And then Of Clones and Time Bullshittery is a fic I started for the same WIP Swap, but Itallcomesbacktoandriel finished! I frankly adore how Andriel finished it too. ^-^

What's your all-time favorite ship? Ooh. That's a tough one. I'd have to say either Artemis FowlxTim Drake or Dead!Tired, which is Tim x Danny Fenton.

What's a WIP you want to finish but you doubt you will? So. I haven't actually posted this fic. I started in like the middle. But its a Danny Phantom, BatFam, and Scooby Doo crossover fic that I've called Danny Phantom & Batman in: The Mystery of the Mystery Kids. I'd be okay talking more about it in a separate post if people are interested.

What are your writing strengths? You see. I asked my friends about this because I don't usually get specifics, just get told I'm a good writer. Gremlin's exact quote when I asked was "I don't know I just like it." I did get complimented quite a bit on my charactizations of Artemis Fowl, so I'll take that win.

Writing weaknesses? I've been told I can make dialogue drag. Someone actually told me this in a comment telling me I should go back in fic despite me tagging the fic as "No Beta We Die Like Jason Todd".

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language? I don't think I've done it before, but once I'm further in my duolingo lessons, I'd love to incorporate Spanish or Japanese. Especially since I adore the Hispanic!Jason Todd headcanons.

First fandom you wrote for? It's technically two cause my first ever fic was a crossover with BatFam and Artemis Fowl.

Fav fic you have ever written? I- That's just cruel. I can't pick one. I really can't. They all hit my sweet spots in different ways.

Tag List: (Gremlin stole most of my list. XD) @precarious-hermit @the-stove-is-on-fire @tourettesdog @halfagone

[misty-the-mysterious]

Some of my random twisted wonderland headcanons because I feel like being even more annoying on main then usual

Azul does drag and is a semi well known drag queen

Cater is nonbinary and uses she/they pronouns but hasn't come out yet because they don't want to bother anybody with using new pronouns/is always wearing like 8 masks anyway (she is so deeply troubled someone PLEASE help her oml)

Jade slowly becomes more and more alternative in his fashion during his years in NRC, including heavier and darker eye makeup and a lot of different piercings! During formal events he takes them out and uses clear studs/magic to hide the holes though. He also probably experiments with his hair style but not drastically as he enjoys matching with Floyd

Floyd wears skirts and dresses!! They're flowy and fun to spin in, plus they aren't constricting!! He loses his shit when he can find a dress/skirt with pockets

Riddle also likes wearing longer dresses and skirts, but does so very rarely due to having a somewhat strict routine with his wardrobe. (If that makes any sense aksgrksjdg)

Almost the whole cast is autistic and/or some form of queer and you literally cannot convince me otherwise

Kalim is genderfluid!

Jamil is FTM!

Idia is autistic!

Jade is autistic!

Azul is autistic!

EVERYBODY IS AUTISTIC!!!!

Look under your chair!! ITS AUTISM!!!!!!!

Anyway

The octotrio all just agreed to use he/him on land to make things easier for people, but all of them have either no gender or a gender so nebulous it cannot be described with mortal tongue. They're cool with any pronouns but when alone together, Floyd will default to she/they for Jade just cuz it feels right. Jade agrees

Azul's blood is blue!! He's self conscious about it because it's something that makes him different and he doesn't have a good track record with being different from others, but if you compliment him he gets a blue flush to his cheeks under that layer of foundation he puts on in the morning

Azul can and will carry Jade and Floyd at the same time, one in each arm. This boy is STRONG and he will use it to physically remove the tweels from causing problems (and maybe to give them affection but shhhhh)

Octotrio are qpps sorry I do make the rules

Jack, Jade, and Riddle will get together and talk plants!! They all sit in the gardens and have tea and talk about recent developments with each of their roses and cacti and mushrooms respectively

Azul and Jade are both scares of heights and get very motion sick. Brooms are rough and they're very thankful they haven't had to ride in cars too much since coming to land because that was a rough two hour trip of nonstop nausea. A plane is literally their worst nightmare. Floyd also gets slightly motion sick from cars but it takes him much longer than it does the other two, and heights don't bother him at all. He (lovingly) teases them a lot about this

Rook makes bombs in science club and Trey pretends to hate it but then they sneak off campus to blow something up together

All fae are gender funky by default. Except Sebek. That's a cis man and you can't convince me otherwise, sorry

Floyd and Jade are both mommas boys. They love their dad and respect him greatly, but mama eel just hits different.

Speaking of the Leech parents, momma Leech is the head of The Family while her husband takes the role of second in command in a sense. Grandma works behind the scenes as well, but the twins still aren't exactly sure how. She's a secretive fish.

Riddle will take a rare holiday break not to see his mom, but to hang out with Trey and Che'nya. He isn't the most knowledgeable on how one should normally spend free time with friends, but Trey and Che'nya are more than happy to lead the way. They both live for Riddle's smile and make it their personal mission to have him smile just as much as they have him cheeks puffed out red in the face with how annoyed he is with their teasing

Ortho helps Ruggie shop by mass searching what websites have the best deals for whatever he's looking for, in return Ruggie hangs out with him and tells him stories about his home and his childhood

Rook "The French Freak" hunt has locks of certain people's hair to try and make Potions to transform into them temporarily in science club. Trey is scared

I haven't slept or eaten and my brain is failing so I'm leaving it here, but I might add on later! Feel free to reblog on which headcanons you agree with or just shoot an ask to talk about them!!! The brainrot is real rn so I'm okay with social interaction for once SKSHHSOAHDBD

[genderlessanxiousweirdo]

Dear Tumblr.

Its been years ever since ive joined thIS GOD FORSAKEN WEBSITE but i have 1 thing and 1 thing only to complain even with all the disorder loving, depressing adoring achoholics on this fucking app theres one thing ive never been to forgive you for creating and that is the motherfucking angel text. no, im not talking about kinnies im talking about the fucking text. if youre unfamiliar there is a copypasta/copy paste fucking watever text about a “little boy” and either “random girl” or “me”.And i fucking hate it. this stupid lil text is e ve r y w h e re. you go to the comments of a tiktok video< theres one bitch, ONE SINGULAR FUCK THAT COPY PASTES THAT UNHOLY PIECE OF LITERATURE YOU GO TO YOUTUBE, THERES ONE EMO ASS LICKER COPY PASTING THAT WHY? WHY ARE YOU SHITTY MONSTROSITES OF SADNESS MAKING MY LIFE SO HARD???? WHY MUST YOU MAKE ME SUFFER??/ AND THE WORST PAR IS YOU EXPECT SUCH AN IDIOTIC PIECE OF WRITTING, THAT CAME FROM TUMBLR NO WHERE WELSE, WOULD DIE AROUND, OH IDK, 2018?? BUT NO. THERE ARE COMMENTS AS EARLY AS THIS FUCKING DAY COPY PASTING THIS DUMB FUCKING TEXT I HATE IT MORE THEN I HATE LITERAL DICTATORS THIS TEXT MAKES MY LIFE SPAN SHORTER BY THE S E C O N I I FID OUT IT HAS BEN PUT SOMEWHERE AND I HAVE NO ONE TO BLAME BUT TUMBLR SO I HOPE, THAT EVERY SINGLE PERSON THAT HAS EVER IN THEIR WRITTE, OR COPIED THIS FUCKING SHITTY TEXT, FAKE DEEP, EMO LOOKING PIECE OF DEPRESSING ROMANTICIZATION SHIT THEIR PANTS DURING THEIR DATES, THEIR MEETUPS WITH FRIENDS AND FAMILIES, THEIR FUCKING GAMES I JUST HOPE YOU CONSTANTLY SMELL LIKE THE ASS OF A BLOODY BABY THATS JUST BEEN BORN AND IT SHAT ITSELF FUCK YOU. FUCK ALL OF YOU I HATE THIS and you may wonder oh but genderlessanxiousweeb what in the unholy fuck afre you talking about? this.

to the person who wrote this? i hate you. just so you know  writting this has pained me because i had to remember this fucking text exists i hope all of you emo freaks listen to me when i say: this is not deep its a pile of weak, watery sHIT. i wouldnt want another persaon having to read this but i need you guys to understand THIS FUCKING SUCKS anywayzzzz good day for you tumblr bro hoes and pals!!! luvs also xoxo happy pride month <3<3<3 lets idk smoke weed and incentive children who used app in 2013 to fucking get a disorder or smth

[aroaceconfessions]

Tw: drinking, self harm of a friend, uh, unhealthy relationships

Why is friendship so, hard?

I love friendship, and i think its one of the most fulfilling kinds of relationships that exist! But its also, to me, the one that has caused me more pain.

I had to ghost a very very good friend some months ago because if my parents found out i was talking to her, they would have made my life hell, and hiding her was not good for my mental or physical health. And i miss her. I miss our talks, I miss the trust that we had on each other, i miss the comfort of being with her. But i dont miss the fucking nervous colitis and having to take medicine because of the anxiety that hiding her caused me.

Or, there is this friend that started drinking and getting wasted at school, and i dont know how to help her, but i hate being near when she is... drunk.

I love her so much, she is just, such a great person to be around when she is sobber, and i have tried to help her on anything she needs, but she just wont stop, and she expects me to babysitt her because another friend does so (that friend is kind of an asshole tho, she treats the whole thing as "aww the baby got drunk again, how silly of her :)").

And another friend just, tried to kill herself a year ago, and she always gets bad emotionally during summer vacations, and i dont want to lose her.

And so long and so forth.

And somethimes i wonder if its easier for allos? Like, that asshole friend can always dump my drunk friend on the rest of us and go kiss her bf, and one of my closest friends has his gf to go and talk to and do the weird couple stuff that my aro ass cant understand. And i feel that i dont have that opportunity to get away because friendship is the thing i've got, and, this mess of people is all i've got. I cant even go to the one friend i was comfortable talking to because i ghosted her, and the rest of my friends seem to think that the talking about all this weird shit is reserved to the partner, but i cant have one, i dont feel the things that they seem to hold so high, and, they have made clear that you are an ass if you dare to be in a romantic relationship with someone if you dont get the romantic feelings.

I may need better friends i guess, but i have started to think about qpps and how nice that sounds. It seems like the perfect solution to my problems. Its a close, platonic relationship, and thats all i need to be strong so i can deal with the hardships of friendishp. Yknow, a person that i can count on being there as i take a break of the rest of the world burning.

I dont know tho, i know its not healthy to go and get a partner (even if its a platonic one) just to try and, solve external problems? And i mean, its not like a lot of people near me would even consider being on a qpr, so yea, kinda in need of help or, just to rant to get all that out i guess.

[erased-zamasu]

omg my page is super dead now but since it’s pride month here’s some of my hcs

goku - nonbinary and unlabeled, he/him

chichi - unlabeled gender and sexuality, she/her

bulma - cis bi, she/they/any

vegeta - cis bi, he/him

trunks - nonbinary and gay, he/they

goten - transmasc nonbinary, bi, they/he

piccolo - agender and unlabeled, he/they/it

yamcha - cis bi, he/him

launch - nonbinary unlabeled , she/her

tien - trans bisexual, he/him

krillin - cis pansexual, he/him

android 18 - transfem bisexual, she/her

android 17 - nonbinary bisexual, he/it + neos

gohan - transmasc bisexual, he/they/any

pan - cis sapphic, she/her

bra - trans lesbian she/her

marron - cis lesbian she/they

raditz - unlabeled gender biromantic, he/him

whis - nblm and is beerus’s queer platonic partner, any pronouns + deity neopronouns

beerus - unlabeled gender + sexuality, he/him

zamasu - nonbinary transmasc and gay, he/him + god neopronouns, is goku black’s qpp (and partner in crime)

since I see goku black as his own person who identifies outside of zamasu, I hc that his identity is mostly similar to goku’s, so unlabeled gender (+ god gender) and unlabeled

bardock is bi and so is gine

this list is getting a little too long but if u have a particular hc u want to tell me about feel free to !

hate will be blocked I’m not dealing with that shit I had to deal with last time I posted something pride related

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

sorry this is such an annoying ask. i get rsd pretty bad (asd/adhd) even tho i like to think i dont actually get rsd. what i do is i avoid social situations completely, so i don't experience it as much. but lately ive rreally really really wanted to write again.

so i followed more spn blogs and interacted more... but simple interaction drives the rsd feelings WAY up, let alone sharing stuff ive written. like i feel crazy and really juvenile but basically any fandom interactions just make me feel awful.

do you ever feel like that? what do you do?

hello, dear, i'm sorry you're having to deal with all these struggles and painful feelings.

first of all, i think we need to start with a little radical acceptance. what you like to think doesn't help you. you have rsd and social anxiety, and you can't do anything to improve those problems until you've accepted the fact that they're real problems you have. you need to take a brutal look at yourself as you really are right now and say, okay, this is where i'm starting from.

next, yes, i have dealt with/do deal with rsd, and i know it sucks. my qpp of 15 years and i both have adhd and can set off each other's rsd, so i know what it's like from both sides.

this is the most important thing: just because you feel an emotion, even if it's an intense, overwhelming emotion, that doesn't mean that feeling is an accurate reflection of reality.

a lot of the time, your perception of a social situation is actually completely different from what the other person intended for you to perceive. they said something and meant one thing by it, and you heard it and interpreted the total opposite. i know that can be really hard to believe in the moment, but trust me; my qpp and i have had to work through several awful fights, and in the end it was usually a misunderstanding between what one of us meant and the other understood.

so when someone says or does something that feels hurtful, you've GOT to give them the benefit of the doubt. you have to say to yourself, maybe they're really tired, maybe they're really stressed out because of a personal problem, maybe they've had a shitty day and they're feeling grumpy, maybe they just completely forgot and it's not any deeper than that.

it's also super important to remind yourself that a most of the time, the way a person behaves towards you is about THEM, not about you. like, if you're polite to a polite person, they will probably be polite back, but if you're polite to a rude person, they're probably going to be rude back, right? their attitude is their problem, not yours. you can't 'nice' a rude person out of being a rude person.

on a smaller scale, this is important to remember because sometimes the people you're interacting with socially have bad moods and they have nothing to do with you. it's so easy to think "oh no they're mad at me, i've annoyed them, they hate me, i'm awful, i can't ever talk to them again" but you've gotta stop those thoughts and remind yourself that you're only getting the tip of the iceberg of this person, and you don't know what's going on in the rest of their life.

that person who didn't respond to your message probably didn't think "ugh this person is so annoying, i hate them." they probably thought "aw that's nice that someone sent me a message. i'll respond when i feel up to talking/when i have time." and then something else came up and they forgot.

maybe it sucks that they forgot to reply, but it wasn't something malicious, it wasn't because they hate you. everybody forgets to reply sometimes.

or maybe they're actually going through something horrible, like maybe one of their parents is in the hospital, or maybe they have an abusive spouse, or maybe they're working three jobs trying to pay rent. you have no idea, so it's for the best to allow for these possibilities.

and while i totally understand avoiding social situations, i think that avoiding them altogether probably doesn't help either, hon. because you get so sensitized to the slightest negative interaction, and you get accustomed to running away from that slight negative interaction, that it gets damn near impossible to grow and learn how to cope. i know it's scary and hard, but sometimes you have to slowly expose yourself to difficult things so you can figure out how to handle them.

i have a small rsd tag (and a social anxiety tag), and a quick google showed that there's a bunch of articles on rsd, such as this one, and it looks like there are a bunch of youtube videos about it too. i'd suggest you also look into things like dbt distress tolerance skills.

i've posted my writing, so i understand that terrified feeling. writing is hard, and posting it for others to read feels incredibly vulnerable. but it's a good thing to do, and i'm proud of you for working towards doing that. if you'd like any advice in that realm, always remember this: no writing is ever wasted.

you know how artists need to draw every day for years to draw beautifully? writers need to write regularly for years to write beautifully. it's not just a talent, it's a learned skill, and you learn by doing. the only reason that i can write a beautiful story today is because i've written hundreds of thousands of words for fifteen years, and honestly? most of it wasn't great. definitely not in the beginning. but if you want to write well, you have to write terribly at first. it's an integral part of the process, so please don't give up if you feel like your stories are shitty. always keep writing.

i hope that helps a little bit, sweetie. i know the path ahead seems daunting, but everything in life is about practice. just practice getting a tiny bit better, and then a tiny bit more. if you keep practicing, you will make progress, i promise. take care.

[catblog-weatherwax]

I just. I have to share this experience because what the fuck just happened?

Trigger warning: blood, gore, periods/menstruation

So quick background, i've been dealing with debilitating (if i wasn't as heavily medicated as possible with OTC meds, i was bedbound) cramps for about 15-17 years. Finally got good insurance and went to see a doctor who prescribed me birth control to help with the cramps. I was 3 months on one pill, had bad side effects, and switched. Just finished month 3 on my new pill.

So last week was the final week of my pill pack, the week i'm supposed to get my period. And my body has still been adjusting to the new meds so a day or two off isn't surprising. Alright. Well i definitely got the mood swings. Got the sweets cravings. Got the period headaches. Even had some mild cramping (it's been gloriously mild on this pill).

But no blood.

Hmm....ok well that's not super weird for me. Once or twice a year i skip my period because of stress. No big deal. I pee on a stick to set my mind at ease and all is right with the world. So the week passes. My weekend was relaxing for the first time in....many weeks. Possibly my big mistake. So i start into the new pill pack. No more sugar pills, now we're back to active ingredient pills. And day 3 of this pack dawns hot and horrible. I hate august. I make it into the office and survive 2 or 3 hours of work.

And then i have to go to the bathroom.

Anyone want to take a guess what happened? That's right. There was blood. MOTHERFUCKER! I thought i was skipping this month! But no! It's just showing up 10 days late. No big deal!

Around lunch time i found i had passed a clot about half the size of the palm of my hand. When i express my shock, my qpp points out that that was probably the entirety of my uterine lining all at once. Or close to it. My flow was suuuuuuper heavy today (compared to my normal.) And now it's bedtime and i just went to the bathroom and you wanna know what i found? My flow has slowed nearly to a stop.

And so, my theory...

Tldr: my body said "Oh no we're too stressed to do this. Too stressed. Too stressed. Definitely too stressed. Oh fuck, she's taking the active birth control pills again? Wait! I changed my mind! WE'RE DOING THIS NOW!" and pressed the eject button so hard that it ripped the entire uterine lining out in one go and condensed my entire period into one day.

[somuch-4-stardust]

okay <3 today we r talking abt headcanons i hate!!! umm none of these have any basis i just dont like them i think they r wrong <3 obviously i dont hate people who enjoy these hc do whatever u want have fun etc etc etc i am not attacking u specifically

starting off w one of my least favorites. cwilbur is NOT transfem!! he is intesex and transmasc (source: me)!!!. all the minors in the server are NOT friends u cant just push cpurpled into a group w benchtrio bc they r all minors??????? (<- im totally about to do exactly that in a sec when i talk abt hc i do like. the real reason is i think cpurpled and cranboo would hate each other ^-^) ctommy DOES have wings BUT they r gold and if u say anything else ur WRONG!!! ctommy was not nine during the first lmanburg war!! cranboo and ctechno are not that close (<- this is actually kinda canon i do not care tho let me be in denial) ctommy is not the token straight please stop saying hes the token straight if he heard you he would be sad (<- on that topic. transfem ctommy is acceptable. i have to put it here bc im not putting it in the 'my fav hc' category but i think it needs to be said) ckarl and cghostbur are not as stupid as u guys make them out. ctechno is not the middle child he is not the middle child U R WRONG!! ctommy also was not focused on saving lmanburg bc 'omg city where ppl live im a hero' and more 'thats. my house bro also i dont want to die' hes not as selfless as u think!! hes also stupid like ctommy is genuinely just an idiot

and now. for loving <3 cpurpled and ctommy are qpps and they live together in cpurpleds ufo which is definitely totally not blown up. ctommy listens to saint bernard by lincoln too much. ctubbo and ctommy are not on speaking terms and honestly it hasnt upset either of them. ctechno is in that stage of trans where he like doesnt mind he/him prns and doesnt care enough to change prns. csbi totally is real and also includes hannah and niki and sally is married to niki and yes sally is a fish niki is like. a mermaid or whatever but sally is literally just a salmon. ctechno and cwilbur and ctommy and cniki and channah and probably csally are all autistic. cpurpled is autistic too but denies it bc 'really is it a big deal any way' ummm cquackity has a touch of the tism too mayhaps. oh and cslime is autistic. anyways back to cpurpled. he is a transman and also refuses to dye his hair purple bc hes an asshole and also he has abandonment issues bc i mean look at him. cniki is the coolest transfemme ever. ctommy is a pretty girl but hes a boy. cghostbur and lmanburg and alivebur and revivedbur and stuff all have different pronouns. they all listen to los campesinos actually los camp is always playing on the server and if for some reason not a single person was thinking abt los camp the whole place would blow up boom boom. ctommy is missing a limb or too (part of his hand, his foot, a little bit of the back of his head/skull, his ear) ctechno gives people he likes gold. like a lot of gold like his family just ended up w huge ass collections of gold jewelry. ctommy uses only neos but doesnt care enough to correct ppl cuz like ITS ALOT OF WORK U KNOW ITS NOT A BIG DEAL. cdream isnt transphobic but also did misgender ctommy on purpose in exile. ctommy had raccoon ears and tail which was. quite the combo w the wings. in the csbi family the order, eldest to youngest was: kristin, phil (<- obviously. they r old haha point and laugh) techno, wilbur, niki, hannah, tommy. cpurpled does kill people in cold blood and he isnt bothered by it for the most part. calyssa is transmasc. ctommy bites people. cbbh is evil but also dad shaped. ctommy is scared of swimming.

[soysaucevictim]

“aching, shaking, breaking (like humans do)”

Summary: Remus thinks Hypnos has abandoned him for good (metaphorically speaking), Patton is there to help. (Sanders Sides, Gym Rat AU. One-shot. Ao3 link.)

Genres: Slice of Life, Hurt/Comfort, Sickfic

Characters: Patton and Remus centric. Logan, Virgil, and Roman mentioned.

Relationships: Intruality (platonic), Logicality (platonic), Background Intrulogical (platonic/ambiguous), Background Dukexiety (romantic/QPP), Background Moxiety (paternal/platonic)

Warnings: Remus angst, extreme insomnia, (unintentional) self-injury, medications, mental health issues, grim imagery, Remus Has Intrusive Thoughts, Remus Is A Mess, Patton Is A Good Friend, Interfaith Friendships, Implied (Extended) Family Problems

-

Patton was pedaling on one of the exercise bikes, which was one of his favorite activities to do at the gym. Relatively low impact and he usually took a “something is better than nothing” approach to his routines nowadays. Just appreciating the people watching and socializing with his workout famILY.

That was odd.

Remus hadn’t been to the gym for the whole week. Even when the kiddo overdid it – usually he’s not out of commission this long for it. Unless-

Something hit him in the gut when he realized that. He stopped on his bike and immediately buzzed his number.

Ring.

Ring.

Nothing.

He could shoot him a text, but it was just not settling right with him. Logan had been doing one of his HIIT circuits on the bike next to him. He took a deep breath, gently tapping Logan’s shoulder. Despite Logan’s concentration, he desisted immediately, turning off his music to respond, “What is it?”

“Have you seen a certain Pottymouth at your work recently?”

Logan paused, with a look of concerned realization, “Come to think of it, no. No, I haven’t. Well, he was getting particularly erratic and called in sick… 3 days ago.”

“I think I should go check in on him. My Other Son’s been swamped with work lately, sooo…”

If Logan was perfectly honest, it was often confusing when Patton referred to half their crew as his son, “Other son? Did you mean Virgil?”

Patton nodded.

“Probably prudent. Unfortunately, no one can stand in for me at the firm tonight. And. You’re better at the… emotions stuff.”

“I appreciate the vote of confidence! Hopefully I’m just worried for nothing.”

Patton rose up from his bike and was about to leave with his things. Logan smiled faintly, “Hey, if you would, could you tell me how he’s doing when you find out?”

Patton smiled back, a little forced if he was honest, “I’ll make sure to have him tell you that himself!”

-

It wasn’t a very far trip across the city to get to Remus’s apartment complex from the gym.

Once Patton parked his car and took another deep breath, he stepped out toward it.

After getting buzzed in and jogging up a couple flights of stairs, thanking his stars for basic training, he was at the door in a jiffy.

Patton wasn’t in the business, but he was reminded of the time Remus was raising heck to get Unit 404 from this building. He remembered seeing Logan trying desperately not to laugh when he heard about it.

He knew to knock to the phrase “Shave and a Haircut”, to alert Remus. He drummed out a few calls, waiting for Remus to make a sound on the other side, hoping he would.

It was a thing in their group, ever since they all watched “Roger Rabbit” together for a movie night, years ago.

Once. Twice. Thrice…

Patton heard the sound of chaotic crashing noises and an off-script, but still in the right cadence, “Fuck OFF!”

“Remus!? Kiddo, it’s me. I wanted to check on you!”

He heard some stumbling noises and a hoarse, “P-padre?”

“Can I come in?”

There was a dramatically loud sigh before the door was unlatched, unlocked, and open.

“Thanks- oh.”

Patton wasn’t exactly sure what he was expecting, but Remus looked even more harried than he usually was. The darkness around his eyes even more pronounced, his face was so drained. His makeup smudged, tear-streaked, and hanging on for dear life. His gaze wild and jumpy. Remus didn’t do much more than stand in the living room, staring at Patton once he entered.

Patton saw that Remus had knocked over one of his glass cabinets. He noticed Remus looked pretty scratched up and was bleeding in places, mostly his hands and knuckles.

Patton furrowed his brow, asking mostly to avoid presumptions, “How are you feeling?”

Remus sounded breathless too, “What does it fucking… look like!?”

Patton paused and looked around some more, there was a lot of trash strewn about the floor. Granted there usually was, Remus would just call it “organized chaos”. But Patton did note that there was an alarming number of energy drink cans piled around a hopelessly full trash bin. Monsters, NOS, Red Bulls, 5 Hours, yerba mate, the works.

Patton slumped a little bit in worry, “Not exactly peachy keen, I take it?”

Patton had a hunch that Remus was screaming not that long ago, based on just how raw his voice sounded, “No SHIT!”

“Um, would you like to sit down for a bit? It might help to talk it out.”

“Can’t.”

“Too restless, huh?”

“Yeah.”

At that point Remus was mindlessly digging his fingernails into his arm. Patton winced a little and decided to ask, “Can I take care of those injuries, at least? I just want to make sure they don’t get-”

Remus glanced at but barely registered the wounds, “Infected?”

“Yeah.”

“F-first aid kit’s in the bathroom. Not like it matters. It would be just my luck to have a brown recluse bite or resistant staph or necrotizing fasciitis. You know where shit rots and liquefies and you get all septic?! Imagine the SMELL.”

Patton slowly worked his way to the bathroom to get the kit, not taking his eyes away from Remus, “Well, if it looks like it’ll be that way, I WILL be taking your butt to the ER.”

Remus didn’t seem to register that, droning on, “Oh. What if I lose a finger? Or several! Or my entire hands! Everybody says I might die of a heart attack before I hit 30? My ticker feels like it’s going to EXPLODE, Teddy Roosevelt. Imagine a live grenade strapped to it – BOOM. Sounds like fun.”

Patton flinched, thinking that was to get a rise out of him, “Kiddo, I think that’s the opposite of fun.”

Remus weakly laughed, pointing at his chest thoughtlessly, “Better than worrying about cancer or some shit!”

Eventually Patton had to break line of sight to grab the kit, but he kept talking, “When… when did you last get some sleep?”

There was a pause that made Patton’s own heart ache a little bit. Remus muttered after some hemming and hawing, “Uh… 3? 4?  4 days ago? I think. I don’t even fucking know.”

Patton took a moment to look over the medicine cabinet while he was there. Just to see if Remus had anything that could help him get much needed snooze time. There was a bottle of trazodone, mostly full, Benedryl, also mostly full… no suspiciously empty bottles of anything around. So that was a hopeful sign.

“Would you mind if I asked you to take something to help you sleep? After I patch you up?”

“You remember that story where a whole batch of Tylenol was tampered with and killed like seven whole people?”

“… I’ll ask again a little later, then.”

Patton returned to the living room, kit in hand, both relieved and disconcerted about Remus just standing in the same spot he was in. His hands were clenching and unclenching, like he was fighting to stay awake even longer. “Okay, it would be easier on both of us if you sat down while I dress those wounds.”

Remus didn’t move, so Patton tried to gently nudge this poor kid toward the sofa anyways. Thankfully, he didn’t resist at all. Patton noticed just how wobbly a gait he had in that short distance. Once seated, Patton also saw that both his knees were scuffed. Patton winced, imagining that he took at least a few falls very recently.

Without prompting, Remus whined, “Everything hurts, Padre.”

“Well, going without sleep as long as you have can give you a bad case of the body aches. Seen some of my old combat buddies deal with that on our worst deployments…”

Patton started to wipe down Remus’s knuckles first with some cotton balls and alcohol. He just wanted to get a better sense of how deep these cuts were. He was relieved that they were surprisingly shallow, “I think these will only need some simple bandages and antibiotic cream… but I’m definitely going to check on you later, to see how your hands are doing.”

Remus nodded, and started to blather a bit again, “I feel like Hypnos himself has forsaken me. A curse! A bane! Pat? Is his brother going to come for me? Am I going to ride down Styx and meet the big H himself?”

“… you’re not going to die, if I can help it. I swear to God Himself.”

“Gross.”

Patton sometimes forgot that their positions of faith were so far removed. But that didn’t dissuade him from caring a lot. He hated seeing his friend suffering so much. He took another breath, and addressed the gouges and cuts in Remus’s arms. They were rough, probably unintentionally from his own hands. He approached those similarly. “You feeling any sleepier, yet?”

“Mmm… no.”

Remus looked like he was about to pass out, Patton was reasonably sure just the fact he was seated and getting some TLC helped push him closer to shutting his eyes. “Well. I’m going to hang around for a few, just to make sure you’re alright, okay? Mind if I turn on the TV?”

Remus started to slur his speech considerably, “Knock yourself out, Holy Ghost.”

Patton thinly smiled about the blasphemous sentiment, but he shook that off, it didn’t matter really. He was just glad to see Remus doze off like he desperately needed it.

Patton decided to tune into Nickelodeon and watch some cartoon reruns, eventually hearing some loud snoring coming from Remus. Patton sighed and smiled at the sight.

-

“Oh GEEZ, Patton. Were you – were you here all night?”

Patton blinked awake from the shouting and looked outside to see it was bright out, “I-I guess I was?”

Virgil was there to see his boyfriend sleeping like the dead and Patton next to him.

“Logan told me to check on Remus and I just got back here. And-”

“Remus is going to be okay, I think. Do you have any idea what may’ve started this episode?”

Virgil sat down on the recliner nearby and looked tired but contemplative.

“His “family” tried contacting him. All I know was it devolving into a messy fight and it rattled him. He… stubbornly didn’t want to talk about it.”

Patton understood what he meant at this point.

The only blood relative Remus had anything nice to say about was Roman. Someone who should probably know what happened, if he wasn’t already aware.

All to address later, once Remus recovered a little more.

Patton ran his fingers through Remus’s greasy hair. Not the most pleasant, but he hoped it helped to soothe him as he continued to slumber.

Virgil smiled at both of them, his own concern never quite gone, “Thanks for this, Pop Star.”

[radiosandrecordings]

So @pitviperofdoom wrote a beautiful piece I have not stopped thinking about a while ago with QPPs Jon and Gerry that you should go and read here. They kindly allowed to let me go off on a tangent inspired by it, so here’s a conversation from the night before that fic where I just get emotional over these two and let myself indulge in their dynamic. 

Background GerryOliver and JonMartin. Warnings for alcohol consumption and general drunkenness. 

“Who’re you gonna bring, eh?” 

It was rounding on eleven o’clock, and they were both sprawled about the room, letting the dull buzz of alcohol set in. Jon was slumped on the couch, and Gerry had, at some point, collapsed into the IKEA chair with the weird curved bar holding it up that Jon had never quite trusted the stability of. He’d kicked off his boots after they’d finished eating, his socked feet now resting on the coffee table, nestled between discarded takeaway boxes and bottles of drink. The scotch still stood there uncapped, and minus three glasses. Jon had taken one when Gerry had poured it for him, and Gerry a second after that, while Jon switched to some dark, fruity cider Gerry had found for him at the back of the fridge.

Jon jolted slightly. “What?” He was on his second bottle and the only thing stopping him from nodding off then and there was the fact that suddenly, the fridge was humming incredibly loudly and it was a great distraction. That’s what he gets for getting hammered on a friday straight from work. Was he hammered? A bottle and a half of cider and one glass of scotch didn’t seem like enough to do that but the way that persistent buzzing was pounding at his skull suggested maybe that was enough for the evening. 

“Well you get a plus one. Two, if you want, best man privileges and all that.” 

Jon’s mouth was dry. He should really get some water. But also, he didn’t really like the thought of having to stand up. “I… Don’t know. I usually bring you.” He pulled a face. “I’m not sure I know anyone that you wouldn’t be inviting anyway.” 

“No one from team spooky you’d want to bring to cry on after you walk me down the isle?” 

Gerry let out an overdramatic ‘Oof’ as Jon half heartedly attempted to reach over and slap him on the leg. “Stop! Calling us! That!” 

“I’ll stop calling you it when the shoe stops fitting. You’re a spooky little team that investigates spooky spooky things. You’re gonna have to accept that one day.” 

“Says the man in the process of opening an exclusively horror-based bookshop with his- Well I suppose he’s going to be your husband now. Huh. God, I feel old.” 

“I will not hear the good name of ‘Spine Chilling’ slandered in my household Jonathan! And- Well fuck, yeah, you’ve got a point there don’t you. Shit, when did I become ‘Bookshop Husband #2’. We used to be cool. Now we pay taxes and shit. Ripe old age of thirty.” 

Jon laughed, and it only hurt his head a little bit. Small mercies. “I would argue you’re still rather cool. In my books at least.” He paused for a moment, letting the air settle into a more sombre tone. “Do you… Do you regret any of it?”

“Not for a second,” Gerry said, running his fingers along the ring that rested on his left hand. He shifted in his seat, and began to tug his hair out of the plait that had been draped over one shoulder. “You never answered the question though. What’ll it be, are we going to have to drunk find you a date? I’m sure there’s an app for fake wedding dates now. Bloody app for everything.” 

“Do I need one?” Jon replied, and it came out dangerously close to a whine. 

“Well no, but I can’t pay attention to you all day because apparently I’ll have a husband to stare in wonder at or some shit, and Georgie might snap if you spend more than an hour crying on her. And don’t give me that look, you’ll cry! You always say you won’t but you teared up earlier when I told you so I am doing my duty and trying to get you a cuddle buddy.” 

“That’s-” Jon started, sounding almost tetchy, before deflating slightly. With Gerry, at least, he knew when to admit defeat. “Okay, so you might have a point… Has Oliver picked anyone out already?” 

“You won’t like it.” 

“Oh, christ.” 

“Yup. Well what did you expect? Jane is his best friend, I’m sorry I know you don’t get on but I can’t exactly tell him no, you can tolerate each other for a day!”

“Worms! All over my archive! How she got them past Rosie still boggles the mind, and really-” 

Gerry waved a hand as he tried to cut him off, “Okay, okay, yes I’ve heard the story more than once, I get it, I won’t even put you at the same table. If it makes it better I’ll see what whatever venue we choose’s policy on animals is. Admiral seems like he’d make a good emotional support cat. Get him a little tux or something.” 

“As much as I like the idea, I’m not quite sure he’d appreciate it. Unless you’re getting wed in somewhere with copious amounts of radiators, I think he’d be better off at home.” 

“You don’t know!” Gerry said, pointing wildly, some of his energy seeming to kick back in after managing to maintain a conscious conversation, “Could be getting hitched in a radiator factory. That’d be something.” 

And Jon was glad Gerry was starting to feel more lively, but by the way laughter made his head pound he certainly was not. He smiled through the grimace. “Maybe so.” He had apparently, in a stroke of genius earlier, left himself a glass of water on the table. He’d take that about now, thanks. 

“What about Martin?” 

And now there was water spilled down his front. Great. “I’m sorry?” He sputtered. 

“Don’t apologise, it’ll dry.” 

“You know that’s not what I meant,” Jon growled, setting the water back down. 

Gerry gave him a faux sweet smile. There was a lapse in the conversation while Jon tugged his jumper off and tossed it onto the sofa next to him. Once he was done wrestling with the wool, Gerry spoke up again. “Seriously though, what about him? I haven’t seen you act like that with anyone since Georgie.” 

“I act like that with you!” Jon cried.

“Yes, but I’m special,” Gerry said, pressing his fingers to his lips and blowing a kiss across the room. “And also, you did just admit you act a specific way with him, so. Check and mate.” 

“I hate drunk Jon,” he muttered. “Okay, so, we go out for lunch sometimes, and that means I have more anecdotes to tell about him than Tim or Sasha, so I end up talking about him more. And I notice more things about him, like how he has more freckles in the summer than the rest of the year, but that’s just because he spends more time in my office because he seems determined to win the record for most tea made in a workplace environment in a year. So what?” 

Gerry looked intolerably smug. “Oh, no, you keep going with your list there, really proving your point.” 

Jon groaned. “Shut up.” 

“Okay, I will, I will, I just.. You do clearly like him Jon. And I won’t pressure you into anything, obviously, but just give yourself a chance, huh? You’re discarding the thought out of hand.”

Jon made a ‘humph’ of petulance. “Right. Fine. Okay. When’s the wedding?” 

“Will you refuse to come if I say Halloween?” 

“I will get around to mocking it later, but no. That’s what…” And admittedly, the alcohol was enough that he had to count on his fingers for this one, “Nine? Nine months away?” 

“You got it in the end.” 

“Once again, Mr Delano-Banks, shut your mouth-”

“Hey-”

“I will update you in eight months time. Until then you are not to bring it up. Deal?” 

Gerry stuck out a bottom lip, “Not sure I was expecting that to be how I heard that name for the first time, but wow, okay. And yes, that’s a deal.” 

“Good. Now if you excuse me, I am promptly about to pass out on your sofa.” 

Gerry got up and stretched, the sound of his knuckles popping making Jon cringe. He glanced up at the clock, before moving the offending jumper away and letting himself drop down on the sofa next to Jon. “Not even midnight yet. What’d I say. Old men, the both of us.” 

“Shush. Pillows can’t talk,” Jon muttered, gently manoeuvring his partner so they were both lying horizontal on the sofa, before burying his face in Gerry’s shoulder. 

“G’night” he muttered into the sofa fabric of his t-shirt. “I’m really happy for you.” 

“Thanks,” Gerry said, pressing a quick kiss to Jon’s hair. “I am too.”

[surishouldbewritingtheirficsnow]

Picture this:

A world were soulmates exist. It doesn’t mean much, just the person(s) most suitable to get along with you, and many people have way more than one soulmate, or even zero. It’s normal to act on these bonds or just being friends or qpp with your soulmate(s), but it’s very rare to ignore them or forgo them completely.

Soulmates aren’t identified by physical marks or any outer indications or functionality. They can, however “sync” with each other’s mind, hearing their thoughts (and, to some extent, feeling their emotions) intentionally or when the soulmate passes through great emotions and can’t help but externalize them. Most people will first notice their soulmates thoughts when they’re 6-9, in a mutual exchange. There’s also ways to prevent your side form “leaking” into the bond and blocking yourself from hearing another’s thoughts, but it’s impossible to block the big emotional bursts of the soulmate doesn’t stop them. Most soulmates are always faintly aware of the other’s emotional state, but that can be ignored too.

Now, imagine it’s Katsuki, 6 years old, and he’s scared of the thoughts seeping into his head. They are angry, and loud, and unrestrained, and they always think mean, terrible stuff. He’s scared and he just wants it all to stop.

His parents take him to a therapist, and they teach him how to ignore his soulmate and their thoughts the best he can. They teach how to hide himself, keep everything inside, and how to keep his emotions from lashing so he doesn’t let anything out.

He learns to be angry to vent his emotions, never let them bottle too much to escape, and he blocks himself as much as he can.

The thoughts stop shortly after. He doesn’t think about it, is just glad that they aren’t bothering him anymore.

And then, they come back full force, barely 2 years after it all started, and he’s terrified before realizing they are as nonchalant as can be, almost as if they didn’t even realize he could hear it. And, with a startle, he notices - they don’t. Their thoughts, to them, whoever they are, are just theirs.

And he doesn’t know why, but the thought terrifies him even more.

Jump forwards to ten years later, in the 3-A dorms at U.A. The squad is all together, chatting around, Mina chatting with her soulmates Jirou and Tooru on the side, when she casually pops off a question, “By the way, you never thought about your soulmates?”

It’s a casual question, but almost crass either ways. You don’t ask people about their soulmates, only if you’re really close, but they ARE really close, he musters. Still, he huffed, crossing his arms against his chest and rolling his eyes as he slumps backwards against the couch, obviously ignoring her question. Even if they’re close, it doesn’t mean he wants to talk about it.

“Oh, mine is that Camie girl from Shiketsu!” Kaminari says, popping chips into his mouth. Dumb Face and Glitter? Okay then. “We think we’re better off as friends though.” Oh.

“Hmm, never think I met mine,” says Sero, hogging more chips to himself. Well, that’s understandable, but he still wonders who the fuck would have fucking Soy Sauce as a soulmate.

“And you, Kiri?” Mina adds, noting how the redhead didn’t say a thing even when the silence has already stretched somewhat awkwardly.

“Oh, I don’t have one,” he says sheepishly, putting down his phone to rub a hand against his neck.

He doesn’t? Bakugou perks up at the thought, wondering why someone as awesome and hot as Kiri wouldn’t have a soulmate, before stopping himself. Soulmates aren’t based around this, idiot. Just because you have a crush you shouldn’t be dumbing yourself down to match it, he thinks, suppressing a chuckle. The moment, after all, definitely doesn’t call for one.

“What? Really?!” Raccoon Eyes, though, is much less sensible than him, and is almost jumping his arm when she asks again, sending his eyes wide and confused.

“Well, I mean, it’s not that it’s weird...”

“Well, no,” muses Sero, doubling against Pikachu and rubbing ketchup on him, he notices with disgust. “But usually they don’t like... Say it that easily”

Kirishima sighs, still rubbing at his nape as if it comforts him. “I guess... But I kinda learned it’s better off if I just accept it y’know? My moms get pretty worried when I try to hide...”

“Hmm?”

The curious and questioning hums don’t stop at Pink Face or Tape Face, even Bakugou himself is intrigued. Why would they be worried? Isn’t that normal? The blond perks up at that, adjusting himself more on the couch as he eyes the redhead more firmly, watching the awkward laughter he lets out and how he tenses invisibly in his fists.

“Well, hmm, apparently I- imagined one when I was a kid...? I heard the thoughts and all, you know, but then they stopped someday and... never came back?”

He stops to smile but it comes too forced, so he drops it before continuing, face fallen, “Mom and Ma were pretty worried at that, and they took me to therapy... well, I guess it did work to help me deal with it but it’s still pretty awkward to think I wanted a soulmate so much I just imagined one myself right?”

He laughs again, a bit depreciating this time, and Katsuki’s stomach churns. “When- when did this happen?”

His voice is barely a whisper, but the way Kirishima quickly scams him with dumb eyes tells he listened.

“When I was 6, I think”

Katsuki swallows, but his mouth is too dry for it to work any good. This- this can’t be true, right?

“Are- are you sure you don’t have a soulmate?”

“Katsuki...”

“ARE YOU SURE?!” He’s yelling now, and he doesn’t know when he lifted from the sofa. His friends are staring at him dumb in their faces, Mina’s mouth as open as it can be (pretty wide, considering she’s unhinged it, something that scared him a lot when she first did it at 2nd year).

“KATSUKI!” She yells, her tone even harsher than his mother’s, and she’s already rising to scold him before the quiet voice of Eijirou sounds again, undisclosed emotions filling it.

“Katsuki.” He’s looking off, in the distance between his feet planted on the couch, and sounds so... calm. “I never even felt anyone for the last twelve years. Not even a whisper or anything.” He looks at him now, and Bakugou sees something akin to rage simmering in his gaze that makes him shiver on the spot. “Don’t you think that, even if I had one, they don’t want me? It’s as good as not having one, either ways.”

Bakugou’s mouth hangs open, the anger leaving him to his quiet, dumb thoughts. Not... having one? The room is silent, and Kirishima seemed to notice it too before he quickly cuts down their staring and laughs off again, apologizing for bringing such a heavy topic to movie night. He taps on Mina’s shoulder, smiling and telling her it’s fine, before saying good night and he’s going to leave first, he wants some time to himself, Bakugou watching all of this still struck on the spot.

It’s long minutes after that he hears, on the back of his mind, the angered yells coursing through his best friend and crush, yelling at him for pushing and how he would never understand how it feels, and Bakugou bolts, feeling his eyes burn as he flings himself into his room and ignores the hate he’s feeling though a bond he never thought he’d want to acknowledge.

[magpiemorality]

Could you please write Dukexiety with “I know what they’re saying to you seems like it’s true, but it isn’t. Im here for you. Those guys aren’t.” Being in some angst, you know?

Combining this prompt with:

I was wondering if you could do this prompt with Dukexeity? “Don’t listen to them. You’re the coolest guy I know!” - anon

I love it when prompts match up together :) This is early stages pre-relationship, or if you prefer to read it as platonic (and eventual QPPs) then go right ahead!

AO3

***

Remus had long ago learned that people could be cruel. He’d been lucky to learn the lesson while he was at home, loved by his parents and brother, and supported well enough by the junior high he went to. He’d learned that if you were your best friend first then it gave you a kind of armour against all the horrible things people threw out, and it meant you never had to rely on or wait for someone else to remember to say something nice to you, because you could do it yourself. 

Virgil had not been quite so lucky. 

He was a quiet child, with a fairly normal single parent household after an equally fairly normal rocky end to his parents’ relationship when he was five. School was not awful, but he didn’t have quite the backup that Remus did when the kids picked him out as an easy target. He’d tried to make friends, running after the group of nice and not-super-popular kids who were always friendly but seemed to always try and hide from him, too nice to tell him to his face they just didn’t want him around. 

After a while he stopped following them, and he could see from their relieved smiles when they saw him that they thought it was better this way. People could be cruel, even when they didn’t really meant to. 

High school was a different matter, because the school was about three times as large and it was suddenly easier to hide. Thousands of kids running around the hallways, a whole little pocket of kids like Virgil, like Remus, who were the oddballs of their previous schools and now... suddenly weren’t as noticeable. They formed a little pack of their own, scoffing at the popular kids, finding safety in numbers, but even here there was cruelty. 

So it was that he found himself running off to hide under the staircase sniffing into his hoodie. So what if he thought Marvel films were cool? So what if he didn’t know who some indie band were?! That didn’t make him lame! That didn’t make him a sell out or a wannabe cool kid! That- maybe it did though? 

“Virgil! There you are, geez you move fast,” Remus said, skidding under the staircase beside him on his knees and catching his breath. “Woo, I gotta get in shape, grunge-chic really doesn’t cut it when I have to keep up with you. You’re fast, dude!” 

Virgil stared at him, face blank with confusion, and his expression softened to sympathy. “Don’t listen to them. You’re the coolest guy I know!” Remus told him, nudging his arm carefully. “I know what they’re saying to you seems like it’s true, but it isn’t. I’m here for you. Those guys aren’t. They’re just jerks who think they’re cool because they hate everything.” 

“But they know all the right-”

“Woah, now,” Remus held up his hand, bopping Virgil on the nose. It was so out of the blue that Virgil felt his panic recede slightly, pushed out of the way by a startled snort of amusement. “Oh hey, you do laugh! I knew it. Roman owes me so many noogies, man, but I gotta prove it to him so let’s test this. Is it a magic smile button?” He grinned, booping Virgil’s nose again, and making the sound effect for funsies. 

It did indeed make Virgil laugh, slightly helplessly, blinking shyly at Remus with growing awe. How did he do that? Was he some kind of magic spirit? 

Remus crowed in triumph and did it a few more times until Virgil was giggling, smothering the noise with his hand, his eyes crinkling. It felt achy and new on his face, and he liked it. “So that’s that experiment run. Where were we?”

The amusement died away and Virgil sighed. “The guys said-”

“Oh that’s right!” Remus interrupted quickly. “You were gonna say they were right! Well, nu uh, can confirm, not true. Totally false. They think they’re right, but we know better. Besides, who wouldn’t be into Chris Evans’ ass?!” And the giddy feeling was back, just like that. 

“How do you do that?!” Virgil wondered. 

“Do what?”

“Just, you’re so positive. And, it’s like, you don’t care at all what they think?”

Remus beamed proudly at him. “Oh, I assure it’s not just ‘like’ that. Why would it matter what some wannabe teenage rebels think about me? They’re not gonna give me my grades, or probably ever be the people I go to if I need help. They’re just guys with their own things going on.”

“Wow,” Virgil sighed. “I wish I could think like that.” He smiled when Remus shuffled over in front of him for another boop. 

“Just checking that still worked,” Remus grinned back. “But I have an idea. Why don’t you come round after school, and I’ll induct you into the cult of Remus! You too, can learn how to think like me, for the low, low price of maybe buying some soda and letting me beat you at mariokart a few times. If you’re good. If you’re bad at mariokart then I’ll just beat you anyway, that still counts. And you gotta let me boop you like, three times an hour at least, for the serotonin. What do you say?”

Was this... friendship?

Virgil blinked slowly at the other boy, his smile turning shy again. “Okay,” he said, lips lifting higher and higher until he was actually beaming back at Remus. “It’s a deal.”

Hanging out with Remus was actually really cool. It turned out later on that friendship was only the beginning of what they could mean to each other, but when they got there, that was actually really cool too. 

And Remus eventually forgot about the boop button, but soon enough Virgil just smiled whenever he saw him anyway, so they chalked it up to a win.

[blake-belladonna-defence-force]

@resident-of-remnant tagged me in this one so thanks, mate 😁

Rules: Answer 30 questions an tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to know better.

Name: Defence

Gender: Demigirl (or what I affectionately call “staring at the woman option in forms and flailing while screeching “I GUESS SO??” silently”.)

Star Sign: I’m a Virgo

Height: 5'6” though I still have to climb to reach the top shelves in my house.

Time: 4:00 pm and I have no idea how I’m even awake right now

Birthday: 31/08/1996 and still trying to come to terms with the fact I’m going to be 25 this year

Favorite bands: Halestorm because reasons (Reasons being that my sapphic ass saw the “I am the fire” music video and immediately went wide eyed at the aesthetic of a leading woman wielding a guitar while flames go off around her)

Favorite solo artists: P!nk (my baby gay ramblings about how pretty and cool she is now make perfect sense)

Last movie: Birds of Prey or The Old Guard because badassery is appreciated in this house... especially when those badassery can be utter dorks.

Last show: The Good Place. I loved the concept of soulmates being made, not handcrafted by the powers that be.

When did I create this blog: Fuck knows. High school maybe? But I didn’t start posting until like October of 2019.

What I post: Mental health stuff, sexuality stuff, my confusion about whether I’m still aro and queer platonic or an ace lesbian (look... experiencing sapphic aesthetic attraction while being ace is confusing as fuck because I don’t know if I simply think they’re pretty in the way I would a piece of art at a museum, if I want to look like them or if I’m being gay), RWBY shit, queer shit, my very queer writing and, as my friends like to tell me, “being a gay simp on main” for my queer platonic partner.

Last thing I googled: A series of questions revolving around ghosts and demons for my horror au none of which I’m going to tell y’all because spoilers.

Other blogs: Nope. Y’all get to deal with all of my shit on main. Sorry!

Do I get asks: Yeah and I love getting them! Interacting with y’all is always fun 😊

Why I chose my url: Look... when I joined the FNDM, there was a RIDICULOUS amount of Blake hate going around so I named my blog accordingly

Following: 302

Followers: 1,851 and I’m still incapable of processing that number. Seriously, I’m grateful for all of y’all 💛

Average hours of sleep: ... uhhhh... I have no average hours of sleep. There is no schedule. I understand nothing about my sleep pattern.

What I’m wearing: my black jeans, my woodblock Blake shirt, my bumbleby bomber jacket (a Christmas gift from my lovely QPP who is far too good to me) and a black cord necklace with my mother’s engagement ring on it.

Dream job(s): I don’t know. I used to want to be a vet nurse but that fell through and now I’m just... lost, confused and a little scared about what I want to do with my life.

Dream trip: Look... if I had the resources and could safely travel between counties, I would fucking love to visit my friends if they would have me. So like the Phillipines, Italy, Florida, New York and wherever else they all live if they wanted me to visit 😊

Favorite food: Lasagna

Favorite song: Uh... let’s see... Touch the Sky? Can I say that?

Last book: I’m currently the RWBY comics.

Top 3 fictional universes: RWBY, The Old Guard (badass immortals? Sign me up!) and... uh... Birds of Prey? I guess?

Tagging @erughostcat @klaydraws @set-wingedwarrior @softlighter and anyone that sees this and wants to join in.

[dsmpkinfessions]

To the Schlatt fictive who's having to deal w/ hate and any other introjects in the same situation: I feel for you. You can't control where you're from, and while it's unrealistic to expect an entire fandom to properly tag character hate, it sure would be nice. While I'm not a fictive, I had a hard time hearing about the person I kin being hated for a while, and I do have an introject who's delt with some of it himself. My qpp's system is full of fictives who constantly have to watch what social media they consume to avoid upsetting content, and it's exhausting.

Schlatt, I don't know you. At most, I know who *my* Schlatt was, and he wasn't a bad guy, and I'm going to assume the same of you. If you ever need to talk to someone, I have no problem dropping my IG or Discord. Same for anyone else out there.

Every single introject out there, look me in the eyes: You are just as valid and real and complex as any other alter, as any singlet. You deserve to be the person you choose to be, no matter how related to your source that is. I love you all /p.

-📔🖤