#my pride and joy I can’t BELIEVE this took 5 months to make

[realreadysetrose]

I’m afraid I can’t do that, Dirk

[ground-riot-jack]

Number 1 | K. Bakugou |

idk what this is man, an origin story maybe?? idk bakugou is an asshole and reader is a badass

The ratings where in, this is it, the big moment. After years of hard work and dedication, you’re finally about to find out if you made it the number Number 1 Hero Spot. You walk out on the stage with the other Top 5 heroes, one being your long term boyfriend, Bakugou. You’d been dating since highschool and worked at the same agency that he created.

“And for our number 2 Hero, we have...Ground Zero! Number 1... Angel! Thank you heroes for protecting and sacrificing your lives for us!” The announcer practically yelled at the large crowd of people.

You couldn’t believe it. You did it. You were the number 1 hero in all of Japan and your boyfriend was right behind you. The lights of the stage felt like power surging through your body. Your large white wings fluttered in excitement. You took your place at the number one podium and felt warm tears of joy stream down your face, you feel pata on your back and can hear congratulations swirling around but you can barely stand up straight.

Soon someone hands you a microphone, the crowd quieting down.

“Thank you all so much, I will work hard every single day until my body gives up to make sure this great nation is protected. I’ve worked very hard to get here so thank you all for recognizing my hard work and determination. I wanna thank Ground Zero, for being the best partner and for helping me get where I am. It won’t be easy but I will take this number 1 spot and wear it with pride. Thank you, i love you all” You spill out happily, you turn and grab onto Katsuki, hugging him and congratulating him on Number 2. You’d both climbed so high and so quickly since you’re UA days, it’s made you happy that you’ve come so far with the person you love most.

Bakugou however, didn’t look happy. It was extremely rare to see a smile on his face, but at the very least you’d expected his bored face. But now, he looked angry. He looked like he was ready to level the city withy he scowl pressed on his face.

“babe, what’s wrong? you good?” You grab his large bicep, getting him to look at you. His bright red eyes snap to yours and you feel locked in with how much animosity they hold.

“I’m ready to go home” He spits out before turning and walking back to the car you’d both arrived in.

You took a few more pictures with fans before following your grumpy boyfriend. As soon as you sat in the car, you could feel the tension thick in the air.

“Ok seriously babe, what the hell is wrong? We got the top spots, that’s amazing!” You turn towards him as the driver head back to your place.

“It’s nothing” He managed to say through his teeth with his are locked together with how tight he’s clenching his jaw.

“It’s something, you’re getting ready to blow this car up”

“I said it’s nothing, Angel” He speaks, the name oozing in malice and anger. Suddenly it clicked.

“You’re jealous that I got the number one spot while you got number two. jesus christ katsuki, could you be any more pessimistic. Why can’t you just be happy for me that i’ve reached a goal i’ve been trying to get my whole life? Number two is in no way shape or form bad.” You huff and fall back against the seat, you watch Bakugou clench and unclench his fists while staring out the window.

“I have to be number one and be better than All Might” He growls quietly, you knew it was a somewhat sensitive subject, but you couldn’t believe your ears.

“All might? Katsuki, you’re 23 years old, you can’t truly expect to be better than All Might right now? All might wasn’t even this good at this age yet, you’re way ahead of schedule. You can’t be happy for me because you wanna be better at 22 years old than All Might was in his prime? You’re delusional katsuki.”

“I HAVE TO BE NUMBER ONE”

“THATS FINE BUT WHY CANT YOU BE HAPPY THAT TOUR GIRLFRIEND IS NUMBER ONE?”

“BECAUSE IT SHOULD BE ME”

“so you think I don’t deserve this katsuki? You think what? I haven’t worked hard enough? I’m nor strong enough? I’m not good enough? WHAT IS IT KATSUKI? Why don’t I deserve to be number one? Why do you think your were unfairly judged?”

You both stared at each other in silence for a while, anger boiling into the atmosphere. You understood the only thing that drove bakugou in highschool was his need to be number one. You were both adults now, and you were in love with each other. You’d hoped that you’d made a big enough impact on bakugou that your life and love together would be enough of a motivator to be great, the way it was with you.

You felt that car pull into your large home, and immediately jumped out, racing up to your shared bedroom. You got out of your hero costume and into leggings and a tank top. You took off all your makeup and picked the confetti out of your wings. You looked up as Bakugou walked in the room.

“Im not sorry that I’m not settling for number two, I never will and you know it, but i am sorry for yelling at you and the way I acted.” Katsuki grumbled while looking at the floor. Usually, his awkward and hesitant apologies warmed your heart and made you gush at how cute your angry boyfriend was, but now you find yourself staying angry.

“That’s not an apology katsuki. You refuse to be happy for me, even though you promised you would be. You refuse to even acknowledge how much work I put into this to be number one. I am THE youngest Hero to hit number one and you can’t even say good job babe. Instead you get angry and jealous and mean because it wasn’t you. Never mind the fact that you jumped from 10 to 2 which is THE biggest jump anyone’s seen in years bakugou. You won’t even let yourself be happy at what you’ve done, because you’re too busy being jealous” You poke his chest, finally standing in front of him.

“It’s not a bad thing to want to be the best” He crosses his arms, getting defensive.

“Of course not babe, I want you to be the best too. So why don’t you want me to be the best?”

“It’s not that, it’s-“

“It’s what Katsuki?”

“I made a promise to myself-”

“YOU MADE A PROMISE TO ME KATSUKI. You gave me this fucking promise ring and told me that you you’re gonna support me no matter what. That we were gonna work hard to get to where we need to go and we were gonna do it together. You promised me you’d be by my side. That’s the difference between us babe. You need to be number one for yourself, I need to be number one for us. You’ve forgotten that” You wipe your tears and move around the tall man in your way. It hurt that Katsuki couldn’t see this was bigger than his highschool days. This was your life together. You hadn’t spoken to All Might or even Midoriya in years, so why was it so hard for him to accept you as a permanent part of his life.

“Baby, i’m sorry I just. I get one track minded and I was so hopeful that this was finally the day. I needed so bad to be number one-“

“THIS IS NO LONGER ABOUT BEING NUMBER ONE KATSUKI, THIS IS ABOUT HOW YOU CANT SEE THAT YOURE TREATING ME LIKE A SIDE CHARACTER. I AM YOUR GIRLFRIEND!! For fucks sake katsuki, we live, work, sleep, eat do and do everything together, so the fact that I’m not even one of the reasons you go out and do what you do hurts because this” You pause and gestured to everything around you. “This is the reason I wake up every morning, you are the reason I fight crime and your reason is, a childhood rivalry. You’re am adult now, you’re supposed to be friends with midoriya and all might and you’re supposed to be over this whole thing. This isn’t supposed to be the thing that drives you. I’m not saying I have to be too of the list but it would be nice to be on the list” You sigh and look at your boyfriend. You knew this wasn’t healthy to yell at each other like this, but you needed him to understand where you’re coming from.

“Baby, Of course you’re my reason for waking up and being a hero, I would do anything to protect you, it’s just I always pictured me at Number 1 with my agency and you and a family. I have a need, a primal urge to be number one and that’s never going to change. Doesn’t mean i don’t love your dumbass”

“Well I’m number one Katsuki, and I earned the hell out of it. I worked my ass off day and night for weeks and months and years so that I could have this. And to see you pout and complain and look me in my face and tell me you don’t think I deserve this spot hurts more than some cute little apology where you call me dumbass lovingly. So i’ll ask you again, why don’t you think I deserve this spot? What makes you better?” You squinted your eyes at the tall man and clench your jaw.

“Im physically stronger-“ You interrupt your boyfriend by grabbing his arm and kicking his legs out from under him, using your wings to flip him over in his back, pinning him down.

“You’re so close minded katsuki, that you don’t even know what i’ve. been doing for the past 8 months. I an the number one hero you think i didn’t train to be stronger than everyone around me?” You ask, hurt laced in your voice.

“Fine, you deserve this spot. You’re the best.”

“You dont meant that, I’m gonna make you fucking mean it Katsuki. One day you’re gonna see me and i’m gonna be the best and you’re gonna be in awe of my power and then you’ll finally see that i deserve this.” You push off of him and stand up your wings tucking close to your body.

“Just-give me a week babe. I promise I’ll make it up to you and I’ll show you I am happy for you, it’s just difficult being let down like this. I’m a sore loser and you know it.” Bakugou grabs your shoulder and pulls you close to his chest.

“You haven’t even said you’re proud of me yet. or that you love me. or even good job katsuki. You don’t believe i’m your heart that i deserve this do you?” You look at him, heart in your throat.

“I believe I should be number one. Every time.” Katsuki mutters in your hair like it was a compliment. You push him back, rage filling your body.

“You’re fucked up katsuki. I’m fucking leaving” You spit, throwing on a jacket and shoes, heading towards your front door.

“Where the hell are you going?!” Bakugou snarls as you move past him.

“Katsuki, I love you with every fiber of my soul, but right now looking at your face makes me wanna throw you across town and beat the shit out of you. I’ll be back tomorrow maybe” You mumble the last part, not really sure how long you wanna be away from your hot headed boyfriend.

“you can’t just fucking leave y/n, how do you expect to be number one of you can’t even stay and win a fight against your boyfriend.” Katsuki let’s out a dry laugh, causing you to turn away from your front door.

You lunge at Katsuki, ready to punch him until he understands you’re the number one hero. You two roll around fighting and spewing things typically reserved for villains. Bakugou pins you down on the floor, his knee on your chest and his hands holding both your wrists beside your head. You close your eyes and focus all your energy into your chest, a faint ball of white light glows from your heart. Ktsuki looks at it with realization before the energy is expelled from you and your boyfriend is sent flying across the living room.

“You did not just use Power Surge on me.” He growls. wiping the sweat from his brow.

“I did, and i’m fucking leaving and your not gonna say shit or so help me god katsuki, i will shoot a beam of light so bright and hot that you wake up blind, burnt and fucking single.” You use your wings to send you flying straight to your front door, you look back at your confused boyfriend once more before taking to the sky.

Bakugou began the cleaning process, shocked and confused. Why didn’t you understand he wants to be happy for you, he truly does, but his pride won’t let him get away with not winning. He decided to let you fly off to calm down for the night, opting to call and talk to Kirishima. The two friends ended up talking for a bit longer than expected, bakugou trying to get kiri on his side, not his girlfriends. It didn’t work however, Kirishima understood that bakugou would let his emotions cloud his mind, even when it came to you. By the end of the conversation, bakugou was almost has heated as he was while fighting you. He concluded the best option was to head to his agency and train for the night.

He arrived and decided to do some things around the office before heading to the training and workout wing of his large building. While going thru last minute files, there’s a knock on his door.

“Ground Zero, i wasn’t expecting you to be here so late.” A stranger smiles in Bakugou face as he opens his office door, his secretary smiling sheepishly.

“Who the hell are you?” He cocks his head and tries to figure it out before he’s told, one of those weird habits he’s picked up being a hero.

“My apologies. I’m Niko Takeyama, I work for the Hero Commission. How would you like to be the number one hero by this time next month.”

[lostandsearching]

Her Loss

Pairings: Maria Hill/Fem!Reader, Natasha Romanoff/Fem!Reader, Wanda Maximoff/Fem!Reader

Summary: Y/N is forever searching for her, the half of her soul that will free her form the pain in her heart. But what does she do when the roads fork into different paths and into different arms. How does she differentiate from true love and fleeting lust? Can she find the arms of her destined or will she simply doom herself and let them slip through her fingers.

Warnings: WandaVision elements used, swearing (maybe?)

Word Count: 2600+

A/N: Here’s chapter 3 and we’re following our favourite little witchy! Just a shout out to @theperfectlovestory​ for being so patient and reading through my chapters. If you ain’t read her work, you’re missing out! As always, reblogs and feedback are welcome. Enjoy :)

Chapter One | Chapter Two

Tossing and turning, she shifts around in bed uncomfortably. Having been able to sleep the night before, exhaustion catching up to her, she is faced with another restless night. Her sleeping has improved over the months. The nights she cried to sleep was no longer a regular occurrence but she still had her difficulties.

The bed was always too unfamiliarly empty no matter how much time had passed. There was no weight by her side causing a dip in the mattress, no strong arms wrapped around her waist encasing her protectively and no cool body to nestle herself against. Her empty bed serves as just another reminder of everything she’s lost. The fates had been cruel to her, delivering her time and time again into loving arms only to rip them away from her far too soon.

Having accepted that sleep will not welcome her tonight, she looked towards the wall clock on her right. ‘It’s only four but I guess I can enjoy the quiet and watch the sunrise for a little while’ muttering to herself. She clambers out of bed throwing on a large dark blue jumper, his jumper, and a pair of jeans careful not to make any noise and stir the children next door.

She loves Clint’s children dearly and wholeheartedly. They accepted her, a stranger, as family without hesitation or fear of her abilities. Little Nate went so far as running to her with the widest grin on his face to proudly proclaim that he’s also named after her brother. This only brought happy tears to her eyes as she engulfed him in a hug. Yes, she loved them dearly and she couldn’t be more grateful to the retired archer and Laura for opening their home to her but sometimes it was too much.

The happy shrieks of laughing children reverberating off the walls, the gentle and loving touches between Laura and Clint, the pure love and pride in Clint’s eyes as he took in his family at the dinner table would sometimes be unbearable for Wanda. This was supposed to be the life she had with him. A home, he had secretly bought for them, in a place called Westview with two children at least. They would have dinner together as a family, watch their children grow up like no time has passed at all, even go trick-or-treating wearing silly family costumes. Her life would have been filled with love, laughter and warm embraces but he was gone, taking her dreams along with him.

Wanda quickly threw on her slippers and crept as quietly as possible out of the farmhouse, trying to avoid rousing the slumber of the ever attentive Hawkeye. He may need hearing aids but Wanda would bet anything that he wore them to bed to avoid being taken by surprise. One misstep on a creaky floorboard would have him rushing out with bow and arrow in hand, ready to protect his family from any intruder, only for her to flounder a lame excuse at her sneaking around at an ungodly hour.

Lady luck was on her side it would seem and she escaped the confines of the home without incident. She is instantly greeted by a cool and gentle breeze caressing her skin. She sits on the steps of the home looking up at the clear night sky as the sun teeters on the horizon, teasing the darkness with a warm glow. She lets her mind wander back to over a year ago, to the events that unfolded after her return from the now dubbed Blip.

//

One moment she had Vision’s lifeless body cradled against her as she sobs, only to be suddenly greeted by a strange man calling her to arms, Vision’s body nowhere to be found.

“The fate of the world needs you to come with me now if we are to have any hope in defeating Thanos” and with that he opened a portal and passed through, Wanda nipping at his heels.

She thrust herself into the chaotic battlefield, remnants of the destroyed compound strewn about, with only one goal in mind. He took the love of her life, he took her life and he’s taken her home. Thanos has taken everything from her and now she’ll make him pay.

She flew in engaging Thanos, bombarding him with all the rage coursing through her veins. Angry, red wisps encase the tyrant threatening to rip him apart but as she was within a hair’s breadth away from finding her revenge, hell fire reigned from the skies knocking her off her feet. The battle for the gauntlet waged on being passed from Avenger to Avenger in hopes of getting it to some rickety van in the distance.

When all hope seemed to be lost, the gauntlet fixed around Thanos’s hand once again with an arrogant line about inevitability escaping his lips, their one and only chance arrived.

“Stark! Now!” a sound shouts commandingly before a woman encompassed in light crashes into the purple titan throwing him back. In the few moments after the order, Tony flew into action and disabled the gauntlet remotely allowing it to fall from Thanos’s hand and to wrap itself around the ready fist of Captain Marvel.

“Yeah, I don’t think so” she retorts with a head tilt and a cocky grin painted on her face. ‘Snap’ the battlefield is once again being covered in ash but it is Thanos’s army that is falling to dust with himself crumbling soon after. Being exposed to gamma radiation in space for years and receiving power from the space stone made her more resilient to the after effects of using the infinity stones. Painful as it was, she would recover.

Wanda on the other hand wasn’t sure she would recover herself. Not only had she lost Vision and her home, in what felt like a matter of fleeting moments, she lost the chance at avenging him by her own hands. ‘He’s gone, this will have to be good enough’ she finally relents to herself.

It was only after the battle had ended, when Bruce and Captain Marvel, she later learned, had been tended to that she found out the true price of  her, and the half the universe’s return. Natasha Romanoff had given her life in exchange for the soul stone, she gave her life so the world could be set right.

The icy cold Black Widow had held her at arms-length after Wanda had entered the older woman’s mind at Ultron’s behest. At the battle of Sokovia Wanda tried to remedy her mistake and prove herself but lost her first home and the life of her brother, Pietro, instead. Clint quickly took it upon himself to care for the young witch and urged Natasha to give Wanda a chance. He believed she already paid a heavy price for her mistake, she doesn’t need to be punished anymore.

With many gruelling training sessions under the watchful eye of the Black Widow, a tentative bond slowly grew, one of mentorship and then eventually friendship. Natasha grew to care for Wanda like a younger sister, although she would never out rightly admit of her fondness to the other Avengers. Wanda learnt to appreciate that the harshness delivered in Natasha’s training had served to keep Wanda alive, to give her the tools to protect herself from their dangerous job.

She had lost another loved one, Natasha on a planet and in a time she couldn’t reach, she needed to get one of them back. She approached the only man she knew that would have the unending finances to find Vision’s body. Although she still doesn’t trust Tony Stark, his hubris being the reason for her parents’ death and then his pride being the reason she was locked away in the Raft like an animal, she believed that his intentions were only ever good, even if his methods were questionable at best. He swore on his daughter’s life, much to the surprise of Wanda only having learnt of Morgan, that he would find Vision for her. She will try to trust him once more.

The compound needed to be rebuilt and Stark needed to build another time machine so that the stones could be returned to their original time, cutting off the branches, at least that’s what was explained to her.

//

It took no time at all, considering Stark’s wealth and that the world was also eternally grateful for the return of their loved ones, for the Avengers compound to be rebuilt. Surprisingly, especially to Stark, she continued to stay at the cabin whilst the new time machine was being built. She couldn’t possibly go back to the compound with both her love and her sister being gone.

“Please bring her back, I can’t lose anyone else. I don’t know what I’d do” she pleads with her arms around the super soldier. She pulls back from their embrace, tears threatening to fall.

“I’ll bring her back Wanda, whatever it takes” Steve promises with finality and with a gentle squeeze of her hand, he steps into the portal.

Wanda stood there with bated breath, closing her eyes and wrapping her arms around herself. She squeezes herself tightly as if holding back a terrible force and its impending explosion from within, should Steve fail. It isn’t until Bruce speaks that she tempts fate by opening her eyes, fixed on the platform once more.

“5…4…3…2…1. Ha! It worked!” he yelps, fisting the air with joy.

Wanda couldn’t believe the sight in front of her, Steve kept his word. Forest green eyes land on hazel green ones. She wasn’t too sure what happened, one moment she was standing and the next moment, she was crumpled on the floor sobbing. She finally let the tears free fall, allowing the anguish, loss and small reprieve to wash over her. ‘She came back, someone came back’ a mantra repeating itself in her mind begging to be believed.

With all the agility and grace attributed to the Widow, Natasha leapt out of Steve’s arms to engulf the younger woman in hers. As is always in the Avengers’ lives, the joy of a win is forever marred with sorrow at the cost of gaining it.

The compound having already been built, Wanda finally returned with Natasha by her side. The Avengers home was no longer filled with mirth as it once was, trauma, loss and exhaustion hangs heavy in the air. Clint had chosen to stay at the compound temporarily, with his family, to spend time with Wanda and Natasha. Tony and Rhodey chose to retire, Captain Marvel had long since returned to space but promised to visit when she was in the galaxy, Thor chose to leave the Avengers to join The Guardians in space and Vision was gone.

It was a week after Natasha’s return, a week at the compound that Wanda finally got the call she so desperately needed.

“Hey witchy, how are you liking the new digs?” Tony jokes. Wanda couldn’t help but roll her eyes as anger began bubbling beneath the surface.

“I am not in the mood for your jokes Stark” her thick Sokovian accent slipping past the cracks of her control.

Tony lets out a heavy sigh before responding. “OK kid, this isn’t a social call. I promised I’d find him but I don’t think you’re gonna like what I’m about to tell you” he tries carefully.

Her eyes are consumed with whirls of red while her hand holds the phone in a vice-like grip. “Where is he Stark?” she says through gritted teeth.

“I tried to get his body released to me this morning, but they refused. I could spend every dime I have and liquidate all my assets, they still won’t let him go claiming that he is government property since he signed the Accords.” frustration clear in his voice.

“I will get the best lawyers on the case but it will take time be…”

“Where” she interrupts with a bite in her tone.

“S.W.O.R.D”

//

After the events of meeting Hayward and seeing what he had done to Vision, Wanda knew she had two choices. She opted for the latter. She called Natasha as soon as she left S.W.O.R.D’s offices making her way back to her car.

“Wanda, what’s going on? You ran…” Before she could finish her questioning, she is interrupted by Wanda’s broken voice.

“S.W.O.R.D have Vision’s body and they wouldn’t let me take him home to bury him. They’re tearing him apart like an OBJECT! He gave his LIFE and they won’t even let what’s left of him find PEACE!” her anger is replaced by breaking sobs wracking through her body, ending her ability to speak any further.

“Come home now. Clint and I will fix it” She commands calmly and confidently.

Just as Wanda was the female assassin’s younger sister, she was also the archer’s daughter. No-one messes with the two deadly assassins’ family and escapes unscathed.

True to the Widow name, Natasha seduced and hacked her way into S.W.O.R.D’s data server and extracted details on questionable S.W.O.R.D activities including Hayward’s isolated server with files and data on his less than legal proclivities.

Clint, being true to his ethos, was crawling through S.W.O.R.D ventilation shafts, planting well placed audio and visual recording devices, courtesy of Stark himself.

With all the pieces at hand, Natasha only needed the perfect person for the execution. Her love for Wanda saw her doing the unimaginable for the first time. She asked for help.

“Maria, I need you to do something for me. I need you to get Vision’s body from S.W.O.R.D. Clint and I have all the data you’ll need to make it happen” her steady voice not betraying the pounding in her heart.

“Why would I get on S.W.O.R.D’S radar exactly?” Maria responds emotionlessly. She would have done it without question of course, but she can’t let Natasha know that. After all, she has a reputation to maintain.

“Because I will owe you a favour” Natasha retorts through clenched teeth. A pregnant pause fills the air before Maria responds.

“Send me everything you have and give me 48 hours” without another word, Maria ends the call and Natasha releases a breath she wasn’t aware she was holding.

Maria, always a woman of her word, saw to it that 48 hours later Vision’s body was being returned to Wanda at the compound under S.H.I.E.L.D escort. Wanda may not have given her lover the death that he asked of her nor the vengeance that he was owed, but she could give him the burial that he deserved and the farewell she needed.

All the Avengers, including Rhodey, Tony and Thor, returned one last time to pay their respects, to honour their fallen ally and friend. Wanda laid to rest the love of her life and yet another piece of her heart.

//

“You know, you still aren’t as quiet as Nat” he teases taking a seat on the step beside her. “Penny for your thoughts?” he gently prods.

“Thinking about him” Wanda whispers, still unable to say Vision’s name since the funeral. “Thinking about what you, Nat and even Tony have done for me since”

He turns to look at the young woman and sees not only pain in her eyes, but a steady determination that wasn’t there before. He keeps quiet, allowing her to gather her thoughts without interruption.

“I think…no, I know I’m ready to go home Clint” she says with growing confidence. She finally turns to face the archer. She sees time, suffering and loss etched on his aging face but those are all muted by the brightness in his blue-grey eyes full of love and pride.

Wanda has survived the loss of her parents, her brother, her first home and her lover. She’s tired of surviving and she is finally ready to go home to start living.

“I’ll tell Nat so she can get a jet ready and prepared for you” and with that, they spend the last few moments together, sitting in silence and basking in the warm glow of the sunrise full of hope and gentle promises. 

Chapter Four

[wavesmp3]

[i love you, i think]

it all started when his grandfather passed away. when his mother called at 5:30am. when he didn’t tell me for two days.

it was then that the quiet set in like a summer storm. silent. then deafening. then that i started to question what we were, what we are, what we will be. i used to think forever, but four weeks ago forever started to become something i could count. two years seven months five days. 11 months two days 9 hours. 5 years in deep. five years gone to someone who will always have my heart but could never live with himself if he ever faced it. when his grandfather passed, i mourned. i still don’t know what. i never knew him. but i cried. for him. for me. for us. for the man living across the universe who never knew i existed.

but

if i’m being honest. it started months before that. something finite. something uncountable. i took discrete math twice. i know all fucking about it. in truth, it started when i told him i wanted to get married, and when he said i’ll never feel good enough for you. when he said someone else could make you happy. someone else could keep up. when i said, i don’t think so. when it felt like i lie. but i believed it didn’t. so then why do the words sit in my chest. why does my brother want to ask him about college. why does my dad call giving condolences.

it all started when i started to believe that maybe we couldn’t, and more terrifyingly, maybe we wouldn’t. in fear of condemnment. in fear of something better. in fear of something worse.

but when i think of him i still think of third grade. i think of recess. i think of senior year math and a comment said about my jeans, a joke made about wall-e. i think of freshmen year and the man living beneath the dining hall. i think of george lopez. i think of cake and balloons. i think of sitting on the floor and saying i love you.

everything big in our relationship has happened while sitting on the floor. the first time he said i love you. the moment we started dating. im weary of floors. scared theres only two things a us on a floor could end in. crying on the ground. or taking a knee. either we work or we don’t. but then what will i do with all this love i have for you. that i’ll always have for you. who will i beam with pride for. who will deal with this hole you’ll leave me with. is this what they mean. for better or for worse. has the better already happened. have we ran out of joy, are we in the worse. is this it?

and at what point did this turn into a letter. i can’t stop thinking about those damn kit kat minis and that chocolate kiss. how much i hated it. how much i love you.

i could say it for days.

i love you. i love you. i love you.

but there are seconds where i question how much i mean it. i would die for you. more horrifically, i would live for you. i can’t stand the thought of you being with someone else. being happier. is that selfish or is that love. do i love you or do i want you. is there a difference. are you my best friend or my lover. there’s a world where you can be both. is that the world we’re living in?

i have this nightmare where you die. you get sick. and i sit by your side. i should’ve went to med school. or maybe it’s a good thing i didn’t. because i’d probably diagnose you with something new every day. i’d hear you cough and spend the rest of the day skimming an old textbook wondering what it could mean.

--

[imagine-a-life-like-this]

Want You Back (J.HS)

Warnings : mentions of a panic attack, talk of a break up

Synopsis : it’s been 8 months since you broke up, but he’s the only one who can calm you down.

Word Count : 1157

July 24th came and passed as if it was just another day, but it wasn’t. I spent the day in bed, fiddling with my half of the couple rings we got. I wondered what he was doing, wondering if he was thinking about me too, fiddling with his ring. But then I remembered he broke up with me and my heart broke again.

           I got back into my routine the next day, waking up at my usual time, getting ready for work and leaving early enough to stop for a coffee. It was like the universe was against me that day as a guy ran into me, causing coffee to spill all over my outfit. Even worse, I didn’t have time to go home and change, so I got written up for breaking dress code.

           I figured the next day couldn’t get any worse, but I was mistaken. And now I lay in bed at 2 in the morning, staring at his contact, knowing I shouldn’t text him, but also knowing he was the only one who could calm me down.

 I shouldn’t text you, but you’re the only one who knows how to help me. I think I’m panicking, and I don’t know what to do. I pressed send before I could second guess myself, tears welling up in my eyes when I realized just how long it had been since we talked. 8 whole months have passed. I used to believe I couldn’t live without him, and maybe that was still true, but I had been doing pretty okay until our anniversary passed.

 Are you somewhere safe? His text came almost immediately that I almost missed it.

 I’m at home.

 Okay. I need you to do those breathing exercises I taught you.

 Okay. I followed his instructions, and my breathing began to even out. He always knew what to do. How am I ever going to live without him? There was no one else who would ever know me in the ways he does.

 Open your door. He texted a few minutes later, causing confusion to overtake my panic. I jumped out of my bed and threw open my door, only to find Hoseok standing there, his hair still a mess from sleeping, and his house slippers on his feet. I moved aside to allow him inside, barely able to meet his eyes. It was obvious that he was over us, but I don’t think I ever could be.

           “What are you doing here?” I asked, not meaning to sound too rude, but as I went to apologize, he wrapped his arms around me. “Hobi…” The nickname slipped from my lips, but he didn’t seem to mind.

           “There’s not much I can do over the phone.” He whispered, pulling away from the hug. Tears welled up in my eyes as I looked at him, my heart swelling with joy at the fact that he rushed to me, like he used to when we dated.

           “You didn’t have you. You don’t owe me anything.” I whispered, looking to the ground.

           “We were together for 5 years; I’m always going to care about you.” I just nodded my head, no longer trusting my voice. Hoseok led me to the couch and busied himself in the kitchen, most likely making me tea to help calm me down. I just sat on the couch, my head in my hands, and let the tears fall. “Here, love.” He said softly, placing my favourite mug in my hands as he sat beside me, rubbing my back. “Do you want to talk about it?” I stared into the mug, as if the tea was like a crystal ball, telling me my future.

           “I was doing fine, really I was. I mean it hurt at first, but it’s been 8 months.” I chuckled to myself. “But then our anniversary past and I just played with the ring you gave me and thought about us the whole day.” I admitted. Hoseok just kept rubbing my back as I talked. “And then the next day I got written up for breaking dress code because someone spilled coffee on me. The next day, I was fired for my unprofessionalism and now I won’t be able to pay rent.” I took a deep breath and finally leaned back into the couch.

           “You’ll figure it out, you always do.” We sat there in silence for a while as I sipped at my tea, finally growing tired.

           “Thank you, for coming here. You really didn’t have to. I’m going to go to bed, but feel free to stay here.” I stood up from the couch and started walking to the kitchen to put my now empty mug into the sink.

           “I’m still in love with you.” Hoseok blurted out, causing me to stop dead in my tracks and drop my mug. I could hear him jump off the couch. “Y/N! Are you okay?” He was immediately at my side, inspecting the damage and looking at me for any cuts I may have had. In a swift motion, he picked me up bridal style and carried me to my room. “I’ll clean the glass. I don’t want you to hurt yourself.” For the first time since he got here, I took a good look at him and saw the familiar glint on his ring finger.

           “You still wear the ring.” I said before he left my room. He stopped in the doorway and turned to look at me.

           “I never took it off.” He walked back towards me and sat on my bed. “I regretted it the next day. Breaking up with you, I mean. But I had my pride, so I never said anything. I typed out a message, but deleted it, just to retype it every single day.” He chuckled to himself. “You’ve always been my one.” I slid the chain around my neck off, the ring that was tucked in my shirt dangling between us.

           “It hurt to wear it on my finger, but it also hurt not having it on me.” I said, a small smile tugging at my lips. “I used to think I couldn’t live without you, but after tonight, I know that I can’t.” He leaned forward and pressed a small kiss to my forehead. I slid the ring off the chain and placed it into his hand before extending mine to him. “It doesn’t feel right for me to put it on myself.” He rolled his eyes but took the ring and slid it on my finger. He pulled me closer to him and kissed me. I didn’t think I’d ever feel his lips on mine again, but I’m so glad I was wrong about that. It’s like his kisses give me life.

           “I’m going to go clean up the glass, so you don’t hurt yourself in the morning. Then I’m going to come back and cuddle the shit out of you.”

[emilia3546]

Shadowsinger Part 5 - Gwynriel

ACOSF Spoilers! Do Not read this unless you have finished ACOSF and the Azriel bonus chapter

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Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

*****

Madja smiled as Gwyn followed her sisters into the healer's house,

"I believe you wanted to get a brace made for your wings?" She asked, gesturing for Emerie to sit, and she nodded,

"I can't fully draw a bow with the limited movement." She admitted, and nodded when Madja paused before reaching out to see exactly how far her wings could move on their own, and then with assistance. Gwyn and Nesta sat in front of Emerie, each holding one of her hands, and she squeezed each time something hurt, but never stopped Madja.

"How much higher do you need them to rest?" Madja asked,

"Not too much, I can't remember exactly what Azriel suggested."

"That's okay, I'll make one that's adjustable, so it can change as needed. Just so you're aware, bracing your wings higher than where they naturally rest will stretch the muscles, and might leave them a bit sore depending on how long you brace them for." Emerie nodded, "But it might also loosen the tightness that's come with the years, and if you want to, perhaps we can incorporate some physical therapy to improve movement a little."

"Physical therapy?" Emerie's eyes flashed with fear, "Not - not reopening the wounds to heal?" Gwyn gently squeezed her hand,

"No, nothing like that. You're not alone in wanting to avoid that, just stretches and exercises to improve strength and movement as your wings are. Perhaps with the right encouragement, your wings will be able to rest in a position suitable for archery without a brace at some point."

"That'll certainly be helpful," Emerie mused, "Okay, let's try it."

"Wonderful." Madja slowly released Emerie's wings, and pulled a sketchpad from under her desk, she sat silently for a few moments while Emerie turned to sit normally in her chair, "This is what I'm imagining," she explained, showing the females her sketch, "Does that look about right?"

"Yes. Thank you." Emerie grinned, and Madja smiled, her joy at helping a patient obvious in the way her eyes shone,

"I should have it made within a week or so, I will send word when it's done, and I'll let you know a potential schedule for your physical therapy."

"Oh. Um," Emerie started, "I don't live in Velaris, and I'd rather any letters not be found by my neighbors."

"I know," Madja said, smiling softly, "I meant, I'll send word to the House of Wind, I assume either Cassian or Azriel will help you when you come for training."

"Thank you," Emerie grinned, and turned round to Nesta, "Watch out, Nes, I'm coming after your title." Nesta narrowed her eyes,

"We'll see about that," she muttered, and Gwyn laughed,

"Oh please, neither of you stand a chance against me," she joked, and thanked Madja again before leading her sisters outside, to where Mor was already waiting,

"Well?" Emerie grinned and nodded,

"She says it should be made in a week!"

"That's great, are you feeling alright?"

"Yeah, she also said that she thinks she can help with some stretches and exercises to eventually strengthen my wings so they won't need a brace." Mor grinned, and Emerie threw her arms around her, holding on tight as they winnowed back to the House.

Gwyn and Nesta shared a knowing look when they arrived, and slipped away, leaving Emerie and Mor alone for a moment,

"Oh, Gwyn, before I forget, there'a family dinner tonight, I doubt Emerie will be able to come, but you're more than welcome to if you want."

"A family dinner?"

"Yeah, at my sister's River House."

"You mean, a dinner with the High Lord and Lady?"

"With my sister and brother-in-law, my other sister, Elain, I don't think you've properly met, but she'll be there, and Amren and Varian, have you met them?"

"Briefly, but only for a couple of minutes,"

"And obviously, Mor, Cass and Az are all coming. It's okay if you're not comfortable coming though."

"No, I'll come, is it okay if I decide to leave early though?"

"Of course. Whatever you're comfortable with." Nesta didn't say it, but Gwyn easily noticed the pride in her eyes, pride for her, that she was willingly going to a gathering with people she didn't know well, or at all, in Elain's case. She smiled, Nesta didn't need to know that Azriel was the sole reason that she was comfortable with going,

"I'll see you tonight." Nesta grinned, before turning away,

"Oh, and my nephew will be there as well, at least for a bit." Gwyn smiled as Nesta disappeared off to whatever work she had to do.

*****

Gwyn was beautiful. There was no other way to describe her as she walked towards him, Azriel couldn't help the smile that sprung to his face, and his shadows shot across to her, not even waiting for his permission, dancing around her as she walked across to him. She had forsaken the robes of a priestess tonight, instead opting for a loose dress, the skirts not quite falling to the floor, leaving her shoes on display. The dress itself was midnight-blue, the skirts made from several swathes of fabric, flowing around her as she moved, and on her feet were a pair of flat shoes, matching the dress, elegant but practical. She had swept her hair onto her head, out of the way. She had dressed to look relatively formal, but so that she could still run, and fight. Azriel extended a hand, waiting for her to reach him, his shadows still surrounding her when she grasped his hand. They stayed with her as he flew her down to the River House, with Cassian and Nesta beside them.

Gwyn took a deep breath when Azriel set her down on the porch of the River House,

"You okay?" He muttered, and she nodded, but didn't step away from her side, going motionless when the door opened, and Feyre grinned at them,

"We're just getting sat down." She said, her gaze lingering on Gwyn for a moment, "Gwyn, I'm Feyre, we met briefly a few months ago." Gwyn returned her smile, and shook the hand Feyre held out for her,

"I remember," she faltered for a second, "I don't know what I should call you," she admitted, and Feyre smiled again,

"Just Feyre, no 'my lord' or 'my lady' within our family." Gwyn smiled, and,

"Alright, Feyre." Feyre grinned, and Gwyn seemingly opened up, her nervousness visibly fading a little at Feyre's friendly tone,

"Come on in then, you lot."

Azriel kept a hand on Gwyn's lower back as she followed Nesta and Cassian inside, and she flashed him a grateful smile, this was still difficult for her, but if he could make it any easier, he would.

Everyone else was already sat down when they reached the dining room, except for Mor, who was still sitting in an armchair across the room, playing with baby Nyx, her joy at his every giggle and squeal of delight plain for anyone to see. Were it not for Gwyn at his side, Azriel's gaze would have lingered, but he checked that Gwyn was still alright, and deliberately guided her to a chair away from the males she didn't know well. She was still close to Elain though, and Mor slid into the chair opposite Azriel after handing Nyx back to his mother. Gwyn kept close to him as conversations started around the table, casual conversations, no mention of work, or the potential situation in Illyria, not at family dinner. Gwyn was unusually quiet, mostly observing everyone around her, and talking politely to Mor and Nesta when she needed to. Every casual move was clear, calculated, her instincts for observation were perfect, had she been there to report back to someone, she would have been able to talk about everyone. A flash of pride shot through him at the realization that she was trying to figure out what to talk about with different people, and he cursed himself for not briefing her beforehand,

"Feyre tells me that you got some new seeds, Elain," he started, daring a glance at Rhys as her attention snapped to him, his brother wasn't watching, thank the Cauldron. Elain stared straight at him, and he tried not to squirm under her gaze as she excitedly talked about the new plants she was growing, exclusive to the Night Court. Was she still upset that he'd had to stop whatever had been starting to form between them? He almost winced at the intensity of her gaze, resisting to urge to ask his shadows what was up with her, but he wouldn't invade her privacy, even if she was mad at him.

"Did you ever find any night-blooming lilies?" It was the first question Gwyn had asked all evening, "We had some at Sangravah when I was young, but I've not seen them since,"

"No," Elain sighed, "I can't find them anywhere, it's as if all the seeds vanish the moment I try looking for them. I'll get my hands on some eventually. Excuse me," she muttered, standing to go and fetch the food, returning with Nuala and Cerridwen a few minutes later, leaving Gwyn hanging, and Azriel almost glared after her, but turned to Gwyn,

"Well done," he whispered, just loud enough for Gwyn to hear him, and he noticed Rhys glancing towards them for fifth time that evening, "If you're okay, I think Rhys wants to come over,"

"Oh?"

"You're a part of the family now. But he'll understand if you'd rather not tonight."

"No, it's okay," Azriel jerked his head slightly, and Rhys made his way slowly towards them, claiming the seat across from Gwyn, and smiled at her, "Hello, my lo-, sorry, Rhysand." He chuckled softly,

"Just Rhys is fine, Gwyn, we don't reinforce rank here."

"I know. Feyre mentioned, it's just a bit of a surprise," she glanced across to Azriel, just for a moment, wanting that little reassurance that he was still there,

"How's Nyx doing? You getting any sleep now?" Rhys rolled his eyes, and snorted,

"Sleep? What's that?" Rhys groaned, but grinned, and Gwyn smiled,

"Nyx is your son?" Rhys nodded,

"He's almost four months old now," he turned to see Feyre making her way across the room, Nyx in her arms, grabbing at her hair, and giggling when she passed him to Azriel,

"Say hi to uncle Azriel," she crooned, and grinned as she returned to her seat, Nyx stared up at him, and he reached out for something, grabbing at the air, the shadows,

"He's beautiful," Gwyn whispered, "I've always loved children, I used to look after the younglings at Sangravah."

"Do you want to hold him?" Rhys asked softly, and she nodded, giggling when Nyx hiccuped, staring up at her with wide eyes, then back at Azriel, "I hope we might see you around a bit more, Gwyn," Rhys said as he too left, following Feyre back to their seats. Gwyn looked around in a panic,

"Doesn't he want his son back?"

"You're fine, Gwyn, look, Nyx loves you." True to his words, the child had fallen asleep in Gwyn's arms, his little wings flopping down, and she carefully gathered them up,

"It's been ages since I held a child," she whispered, "I miss it." She smiled down at the sleeping child in her arms, "Babies don't ever judge, they see the world exactly as it is, and don't apologize for it." Azriel couldn't help but smile as she look back at him, laughing when Mor swooped back in to steal her nephew,

"My turn," she demanded, and grinned when Gwyn relinquished the child, his chubby hands pulling on a golden chain around her neck, a necklace, the necklace, oh shit, Elain was going to see it. He had to distract her attention, if Elain saw it, she'd mention it, and Gwyn, he never wanted her to think herself second best, if he'd been thinking he would have returned it, and bought her a different one, but it was too late now, shit. He could hide it, with his shadows. It was too late, Elain had already turned back, her gaze landing on the necklace,

"That's a lovely necklace, Gwyn." No. Shit, shit, shit.

"It was a gift from a friend at solstice, I never found out who." Gwyn smiled and touched the charm,

"I'm glad Azriel found someone who wanted it after I gave it back to him." Gwyn turned to face him, and he wished he could just vanish,

"What? Is that true? Did you give it to Elain first?" Tears were shining in her eyes, and devastation marred her beautiful face,

"Yes, but -" she didn't give him a chance to speak, running out of the room immediately,  "Gwyn!" he called after her, and glared at Elain, "What the fuck, Elain?" he almost shouted,

"She deserves to know. No one wants to be second best."

"She's not. I didn't even tell her it was from me! I just wanted someone to be happy with it, not using it as an escape from something else!" He snapped, following Gwyn out of the room before Elain had a chance to answer.

*****

He had just given her the necklace because Elain didn't want it. Azriel thought she was just someone to pass off unwanted gifts to. She would have been thrilled to learn it was from him, if he hadn't just been passing it on to her. She paused at the door, hearing Azriel's angry words to Elain, and debated going back, but ran outside, into the gardens, finding a bench to sit on. She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, but couldn't stop the tears from falling. She had thought he was different, better, but he had only thought of her when Elain had given it back, of course he wanted Elain, his brothers were with her sisters, so of course they were, whatever they were. She was foolish to think he'd ever want her. She buried her face in her hands and cried, letting out the sobs that she had hidden earlier, tears falling freely down her face.

Footsteps sounded on the marble floor at the entrance to the house,

"Go away," she muttered,

"Gwyn, please." Azriel. He thought he could just follow her out here, as if he had done nothing wrong,

"Why don't you run inside and find Elain!" she snapped,

"I don't want Elain." He said, not coming any closer,

"I won't be someone you just use to replace her. If you cared, you would have bought me a present for me, not just because the person you bought it for didn't want it."

"Gwyn," his voice broke on her name, "I never meant for you to feel second best-"

"Aren't I?"

"No! I just wasn't thinking."

"Obviously!" Gwyn glared at him, her vision still blurred by tears, "You were supposed to never lie to me! You're the first male I trusted! And you didn't even prioritize me!" She shouted, "I just wanted you to trust me, to not hide from me like you do with everyone else, and you lied to me."

"Gwyn please, it wasn't like that, I do trust you, I just, I was going to tell you, but then it was so long, and I thought it would just upset you to bring it up. Yes, I bought it for Elain, but it didn't make her happy, and I just wanted someone to be happy." He took another step towards her, something like devastation crossing his face when she shifted away, ready to run, and he stopped, "Elain didn't want to face her mating bond, either to accept or reject it, and she used me as a way to avoid it. I thought I wanted her, that she wanted me, but she wanted an escape, and thought I could provide it. I bought the necklace because I thought she would be happy, but I, Gwyn, there is nothing with her, and she gave it back when she realized that. I just wanted it to make someone happy. Clotho never told you it was from me, because it doesn't matter, I just told her to give it to someone who would be happy." Tears were shining in his eyes as he spoke, "I know I'm an idiot, you don't have to tell me that, and I know I can't fix it, but I'm sorry, I should have taken it back and bought you something different, but I wasn't thinking, and," he stopped, "I'm just sorry." It had made her happy, and she didn't know what to say. Perhaps she was overreacting, it was true that Clotho had never told her it was from him, and she supposed it didn't matter, but she unclipped it from around her neck,

"Then take it back now." A tear slid down his face as she passed the necklace to him, and he dropped his head, but before he could apologize again she continued, "Return it, and let's choose something different, together."

"You're not mad?"

"Oh, I'm furious, but not just because of you. I understand, I know what is to want to make someone happy, but you do make people happy, Az, you are more than just your job. I don't care what you've done, I just care that you're honest with me. You lied to me. That's what upset me, that, and I thought you preferred her."

"No, never."

"Let me finish. But mostly, I'm angry at her, she saw that I liked the necklace, that you had made someone happy with it, and she tried to ruin that. You should have got a different one, and you should have told me, but Elain shouldn't have tried to upset me with that, she was jealous, Az." Azriel smiled, and dropped to his knees in front of where she was still sitting on the bench, clasping her hands in his,

"I swear to you now, I will always tell you everything, always, Gwyn. No secrets." He gently kissed her hands, and she smiled,

"Thank you, that's all I ever wanted." The necklace was left on the bench when they returned to the dining room, where Elain was nowhere to be seen.

"Gwyn!" Nesta shot to her feet the moment they stepped through the door, glaring daggers at Azriel, "Are you okay? I'm so sorry, Elain, she was way out of line, I don't think she'll be coming back, I was pretty mad," Gwyn laughed at Nesta's explosive temper, but reassured her,

"I'm fine, stop it, it's not his fault, it was a misunderstanding, it's fine." Nesta narrowed her eyes at Azriel once more before relaxing,

"Don't ever pull that kind of shit again," she said,

"I have already sworn to never keep secrets from her." Nesta nodded,

"Good,  I won't have to cut your balls off then," Gwyn snorted and sat back down, apologizing to everyone for making a scene, but Mor just laughed,

"There's always something that goes a bit wrong, at least you two made up." Gwyn laughed, and stayed for the rest of dinner, her hand still clasped in Azriel's as they finished dessert, she didn't let go until they were in the air again.

"Where are we going?" The House was behind them as they flew,

"You'll see." Azriel chuckled, gently setting her down outside a shop, still open, even at this time, and pushed the door open, "Let me at least try to fix my mistake,"

"You don't have to. You apologized, and took responsibility, you're forgiven, it was a mistake."

"Let me do this." he repeated, "Neve! What do you have that would suit Gwyn?" A female popped her head up from behind the counter, studying her quickly,

"Perhaps something in emerald, one moment," Azriel led Gwyn to the counter,

"Pick whatever you want." Neve returned moments later, a pair of emerald earrings in hand,

"These are new, one of a kind, perfectly suited to your lady,"

"Oh, she's not-" Azriel started, but Gwyn smiled, stopping him before he could finish,

"They're beautiful, but they must be expensive?"

"That's alright." Azriel insisted, "Rhys massively overpays me."

"No, Azriel I can't accept this, I'll pay you back."

"It's a gift. For you. Please." Neve held the earrings up as if Gwyn were wearing them, and Azriel's breathing hitched, almost imperceptibly,

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. We'll take them."

"Excellent, I'll put the charge on your tab,"

"Thank you, Neve." Azriel helped her to put the earrings on, and grinned at her, "You look beautiful," he whispered before guiding her out of the shop, and flew her back to the House. Gwyn felt herself drifting off to sleep and buried her face in Azriel's shoulder, she was asleep within moments.

*****

Gwyn was asleep in his arms when he landed, and Azriel unconsciously hugged her closer, setting her down in her bed, stopping when she mumbled his name. He turned back, but she was still asleep, reaching across the bed to where he had been sat moments before. He was still there when she opened her eyes,

"Az?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you stay with me? I don't want to be alone tonight."

"Yeah, okay."

"Just turn around a moment, I need to change into a nightgown." He did as she asked, and quickly returned to his own room to grab a set of sleeping clothes and to move a few of his weapons into her room. When he got back, he made to pull the chair he had slept in before to the bed,  and Gwyn was already asleep, his shadows swirling around her,

She's fine, get some sleep,

They whispered, and he settled down in the chair, sitting next to her all night.

[ameliyaahn3]

13 days series : Day One, 20th December.

Genre : Fluff, Comfort, (lame ass one) Humor.

Warning : Things get heated up at end but nothing shocking.

Word count : Around 1k800.

Summary : Akashi bringing his empress to his chalet for christmas holidays but it's also his birthday. What will Y/n prepare for him ?

Akashi Seijuro × Reader.

Even then, you weren't used of that life of luxury and comfort with Seijuro : whatever you would salivate for, he was capable to give it to you twice or in a matter of a minute -if that's not even too much-: what was for sure something you can't even dream of in your wildest fantasty. And as the wealthy man he is, once again Seijuro impressed you by bringing you on vaccation at his family chalet.

Snow was surronding the beautiful and big place when you stepped outside the car, a warm and refined hand holding your fingers at the same time. You turn your head to see your boyfriend smiling what does make you instantly excited as his eyes are slightly shining at your view. Your blood going trough your veins so fast, you can't help but wait to drag Seijuro into the house and listening to whatever he has to say about it.

You know his chalet to be somewhere he would at least visit once a year and as a place full of funny and innocent chilhood memories that conted by him would just sound so interesting. As the cold started to hit a little bit too harshly on your faces, Seijuro finally decided to guide you to the traditional house, maids and butlers behind with your baggages.

" Pleased, my love ?" You nodded positively, a grin forming on your lips, " How I could not ?" the majestous tree were absorbing your soul.

"I know that you're not always comfortable with my wealth and all thoses prestigious places but I hope this time you won't feel any discomfort being here." The way he talks so smoothely drives you naturally to look at his charming face, what do distract your attention from the unique landscape. However do you regret it ? Not even one second.

" I can't be bothered by a place that is like home for you." You said, your stomach feeling like there butterflies in it despite it does make 9 months you're together. Sensations conservating pretty good like an old bottle of wine, it's really something to be in couple with this man.

" I wish you would think of my gifts as the furnitures then." You chukle a little bit at his come-back, not bad actually but how could you not feel weird when he's offering you expensive jewerly and dates on the only motive that you're his lover ?

" Sei..."

" Because I can't imagine a world that I would truly enjoy without you, you deserve the best, Y/n. Though I've fallen for your independance, since we're one, everything mine is yours, you should not being ashamed of anything."

Seeing you opening your mouth to try to justifiate your attitude, Akashi shut it with his own, deposing a small peck on your lips that destroyed all trace of a logic and inteligent answer in your mind.

What a drag... How would you return him all he give to you the same ? Nothing that you can buy can value even the smallest thing that he had already offrered you, but it was his birthday tomorrow and except of your present you couldn't think of something appropriate to express your love to him.

" Shht, my dear. You know I'm right." He says with a smirk.

Besides making you feel like the first days, Seijuro know also how to make you pout like a child despite that you're supposed to be decently mature.

" That's not fair..."

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In front of the chimney, you observe the fire dancing, your head lies on Akashi shoulder's as he's taking a pause on his book and that a cup of hot chocolate is between your hands. It was for sure one of the most relaxing moment you ever had in the past 6 months, forgetting about school, work or whatever were drowning you down in general it was inexistant here.

" That table... I used to play on it a lot with my mother."

" What kind of games ?"

Akashi smile when he hear sincere interest in your voice, not surprised of your curiosity when it involve him even for the silliest subjects. It was one of the reason you were with him afterall and not another person.

" Cards games mostly and even if I was a child, I don't remember having similar struggles winning against my mother than anybody else till now."

" So she was an high level player ?"

" Surprisingly not and she would admit herself that she was even quite unlucky, I used to not understand why I had so much difficulties with her but now it's pretty clear that I was inconsciously doing of sort to play with her more."

" It's adorable but insulting at the same time, i don't know how I would take it if I was in her position. You didn't do this with me right ?"

"..."

His laugh makes you felt like death has suddenly taken your body and your diginity with it.

"Maybe you can try to found out yourself ?" He put his book aside, amused by the situation.

" I've never felt so insulted in my life... Seijuro affront me right now, one one." Determined by your pride you still kept your calm and called him more in a playful tone than anything else.

" You won't be mad at me when you will find out how I play with you Y/n?"

" I can't promise that... i've been believing that I was good at shogi during more than a year!"

" And you're good."

" But how do I know for real now ?"

"Alright, alright... let's play then. Even if you finish to be angry at me that wouldn't last long."

" Wha-? You know that you're irresistible and you makes benefit of it on me ?! That's vicious... and I love it against my own agreement. How do you do ? That's disgusting."

" You're doing this to me everyday, Y/n."

" No i don't..?"

" You definitely do."

You don't even bother to pursuing that thing and sit in front of the said table with cards that you found around. Today was the day of truth.

 ────────── ·  ·  ·  · ✦

After losing 13 rounds in a row you didn't bother to test Akashi again and let him with his undefeated title. But most importantly, while playing against him you didn't saw something that would say he was holding back on purpose, what surprised you and comforted you a little bit on your own skills.

After that, you decided to take an hot bath and you had a sumptuous diner which by the way makes you felt really heavy. Filled Up and clean, there was nothing that you would need in the moment and so time went by and at the end you wanted to sleep. The Emperor led you to your shared room and before letting your body enjoy a restful night, you took initiative of a cuddle session. Making soft contact with Akashi's skin, your fingers doing small circles on his palm hand and forearm.

As sleep is slowly taking you away, your boyfriend whispers lovely words in your right ear and stroke your back, plunging you into another world : Watching the snow failling gently in the window with the elegant lights of the room while being under thoses pretty sheets with Akashi Seijuro beside... Everything looked like a dream. You took a look in the direction of your hidden gift, thinking of how you would make it memorable and your eyes closed despite a sudden excitation and vague of ideas that poped in your head last minute.

During the whole night, it was like your soul aspired to wake up early and so you slept easily but as if you're body is schedulded, first hour in the morning, 5:45 am you were awake and as you were quiting bed stupid flash of the game yesterday evening came to your head making you thinking that Akashi pitiyied you because of small action in his game, you pipe that idea away and focus on your tasks.

First step was the more difficult one but you managed to get out the bed without being noticed. You wanted to make breakfast for him but also as he would wake up, wish him an happy birthday quite special with his present in your hands.

Maids bringed the bouquet of roses you requested and helped you cooking food. You had so much plans for his birthday... If you remember well, there was that Power Point waiting in your draft explaining how perfect he is and why he should be happy, healthy and live so much years more. But you didn't carry on that idea as that wasn't amazing enough and that in fact that would be just you acting as a fangirl of your boyfriend during an hour at least.

You watch at the time, knowing that your lover used to being awake around 6:30-7:00 also on weekends while during winter even the sun doesn't rise that early.

You walk into the room, taking your gift quickely and in silence, posing the plate of breakfast that you tried your best to please him with. Well, you look at him to see that he's sligthly waking up, a smile grows on your lips.

Once you see one of those red orbs open, you heart skips a beat, Akashi sit on his bed a genuine smile as he see you.

" Good morning, Y/n."

and you can't help but kiss him.

" Happy birthday Seijuro!"

As you crash your lips in a sweet and chaste manner yet still filled with an unquestionable passion, you give him roses and put on evidence the breakfast. The smell of roses mixed with delicious plates increasing Akashi joy even if he doesn't show it in an obvious way.

" You didn't have to do this, Y/n... But it makes me really happy, Thank you."

" Do not thank me yet..! I haven't given you everything and you deserve the best."

You lay on his hand the package, letting him being curious to what is it. After taking a glance at you, he decide to open your gift and see an antique but expensive -for someone of your class- watch with his and your initials, because the clock is foldable when you unclip it, you can see a picture of his mother that you've put.

Akashi seemed quite touched and took your hand in his, a soft and nostalgic expression on his face.

" I obvisouly can't offer you one of the newer and expensive jewerly but I was sure that this one would be at your liking."

Emotional value combined with an utilitarian purpose, not to mention the style.

" And it is, you did well Y/n. It's until now the most valuable item I have in my possesion... I will cherish your present."

" And I will cherish you... Doesn't it sounded like a weeding vows ? Haha... However I will cherish you for real and in all the way possible so even if I can't give you as much as you do in terms of material... My affection would value at least as much if it's not even a lot more."

You said that while coming closer to him, eyes full of desire and of need to proove your love. Akashi put all thoses object you bring in bed on the nearest table as a more lewd expression took place on his face.

" Convince me."

And you were already under him.

" Maybe this one would be my favorite birthday."

[djemsostylist]

Farewell, my love

I thought I was done ranting about SCK, and I swear this is the last one. I've learned my dizi lesson, and I have so many good ones to look forward to watching. Lesson number one, don't watch a dizi where the only draw is the two leads.

Here's the thing. In the past couple of months, and having watched a few other dizis, I started to wonder if maybe Hande and Kerem had blinded me into liking a show that was never actually more than crap. But in my recent rewatch (I'm up to 12) it was good. It genuinely was. The chemistry was great, the slow burn was great, but for me, the biggest part of why SCK 1-12 was great is that the angst and the drawn out story made sense. Eda and Serkan not talking to each other and keeping their feelings close made sense when Serkan wasn't sure Eda didn't hate him and Eda wasn't sure he wouldn't always choose Selin. Their angst and noncommunication worked here, because this was a story about two people getting to know each other and falling in love. Here, we (and they) learn about their fears, their doubts, their insecurities, their uncertainties, and we learned who they were as people. In 13-21, we watched them grow as people. We watched as they loved each other through pain and as they set up boundaries and learned what would and would not be acceptable to them as a couple. They learned how to talk and share their feelings and be open with how they feel (granted it took fucking forever, but we got there. Finally).

And, and perhaps this is the MOST key--they were in character, they had arcs, and things didn't simply happen for plot. At least not in ways that sacrificed character.

From 22-39, we mostly dealt with plot. Plot which drove characters, but one thing, ONE THING that remained at the of it all was the Eda and Serkan could not be apart. Even when they aren't together, they are together. Their longest separation is immediately following the plane crash, in which Eda does everything humanly possible to keep pieces of Serkan as close to her as she can.

They are it for each other. The love story told in the first several episodes was clear--they are soul mates, they have invisible handcuffs, etc etc. They can't separate, they won't no matter how hard things get. And they both have lines. Eda believes strongly in telling the truth, trusting your partner, believing in them, and above all, family. She lost her parents--being able to be a mom with a family is something we know is important to her. Serkan is self-sacrificial, but he channels it into doing anything and everything he can to make Eda happy. He has learned how to be a partner, how to share his feelings and trust others, and like Eda, his own issues with his parents and the feeling of abandonment mean that he has a deep desire to want to build a strong family.

We have watched them go through literal hell and back. We have watched them fall in love and learn each other over, and over, and over. So to see them having finally survived all of that--crazy families, tumors, plane crashes, gas lighting fiancees, awful friends, terrible parents, and to have survived and come out the other side--and then, what, break up? Spend five years hating each other and Eda keeping his child from him...for what? What could possibly have caused them to be so broken that they left each other and Eda kept a child from him? What is worse than plane crashes, crazy grandmothers, amnesia, crazy ex-girlfriends--what? This isn't sensible angst that shows characters growing and changing and moving. This is angst for angst sake. This is drama for drama's sake. And it's not it for me.

The Eda I know would never, EVER keep Serkan's child from him. Ever. No matter what he said or did, the Eda I know, the one who confronts people head on, who fights for the people she loves and who doesn't let someone off the hook, the one who knows how hurt he was by his own father, who still mourns her own, would not do this. Even if, as some people think, Serkan tried to drive her away (and we'll address that in a minute), my Eda, episode 15 Eda, would shove her pregnancy test in his face and say "yeah? You don't love me, fine, but your child? How about that?" She wouldn't leave. Or would she? This is the Eda, after all, who ran away in 37 instead of standing with him and finding out the truth and making choices together. Did she leave bc he didn't tell her about the tumor? "Sorry you found out you're dying, but since you lied I'm gonna let you die alone. Oh, and keep your kid's existence from you, peace out."

As for Serkan, why would he let her go? Because he thought he was dying? I mean, I guess if she got mad enough about the secret to leave him, I could see him letting her go. It would reinforce what he has always though, that he isn't worthy of love--hers, his parents. It means that all the growth and reassurance and peace he got means nothing. And honestly, I don't think he's survive that. After all, what would he even have to live for, after it's reaffirmed that he isn't worth loving? And if he drives her away instead, then what was the entire point of 14-21? What? That entire 7 episodes of learning to love her, of learning to be the partner who listens and gives and trusts means nothing. Hell, 14-28 mean nothing. Because he is right back to where he started in 13. And if Eda, who knows he has a tumor, listens?

The point is, these aren't the people I love. These aren't my characters. This isn't the kind of beautiful angst that was built in 1-12. This is pure plot to sell things, and I hate everything about it. For me, there is no redemption here for Eda. She kept a child from him. It's not a thing you can say "oops sorry" for. She kept his child from him. Unless she was escaping a plot on her life bc Serkan is a secret mob boss and she had to go into hiding for her safety, there is not way I see this not making her not only a pretty horrible person, but also a hypocrite of the highest order.

As for Serkan, he's already been "the bad guy". He's made mistakes before (although I'd argue he gets a pass for actual brain damage), and I have no desire to see him, once again, thrust into the "Asshole Bolat" role. Not Robot Bolat, because our beloved RoBo would never have let Eda leave. Just Asshole. Which is what I assume, otherwise how do you justify another fucking breakup?

This show is starting it's 40th episode. 40th, and our couple has been together and happy for 4? Almost 5 episodes. It's too much. I'm done. At some point you start to wonder if they aren't just toxic and need to stay away from each other. Because if all they are is pride and miscommunication and refusing to talk and now a child is being hurt as a result--just no. This isn't the love story I signed up for.

So, it was a good run. I'm grateful to SCK for introducing me to Turkish tv (again), for helping me meet some truly amazing people, and for giving me a fandom again after far too long. But, like every other fandom I've been in, it's time for it to end. It's reached a point where I no longer find joy in a story that has gone so far beyond it's original tale as to be entirely unrecognizable. So I'm getting off this train. It's been real.

[ffangirlingsince2001]

End of the Tunnel: XV

Description: It’s almost been a year since Fred Weasley was lost to the Battle of Hogwarts, and for George Weasley it might as well be an eternity. He is lost in the dark, no color to be found. Until suddenly there might be a light at the end of the tunnel.

Warnings: Fluff

MASTERLIST

***

Seven months later Hannah was staring at herself in the mirror, taking deep, calming breaths as she shook with excitement. Four women were rushing around the room behind her, panic pulling them back and forth as they struggled to get ready in time, but Hannah could only daydream, still wearing nothing but the satin robe Caroline had handed her that morning.

She had been dreaming about this day since George knelt down on one knee, and it would have been here much sooner had the combined forces of Mrs. Weasley and her own mother not demanded the celebration be grand. They had whispered about eloping as they laid in bed, wrapped in each other’s arms, but the idea had always vanished at the thought of their mothers’ wrath.

Now the day was finally here.

“Hannah, my god, do you even want to get married?” Sloane cried out when she finally noticed the daydreaming girl. Hannah giggled as she was yanked away from the mirror and to her feet by her maid of honor. They twirled around the room, laughing as they bumped into the edges of furniture. Sloane pulled Caroline into their little dance, and when the two mothers returned, they found a pile of giggling girls rolling among the bedsheets.

“It’s almost one,” Mrs. Weasley gasped, staring at the three girls, including the bride, who were the furthest thing from ready.

“I thought that was what magic was for, waiting until the last minute,” Caroline quipped from the sheets.

“It is, but last time I checked you don’t have any,” Sloane replied, tapping the younger girl’s nose before pulling her towards the wardrobe where their dresses were hanging.

When Hannah was younger, she had wanted nothing more than yellow bridesmaids’ dresses. When her mother took her to the shops, she took great pride in running her fingers over the yellow section of the store, determining exactly what dresses they would wear as they began the wedding procession. Today, that was a dream that would not be coming true. After a great many hours of fighting between what she had dreamed of for years and what present her secretly wanted. Sloane had finally stepped in and chastised her for her loyalty to nostalgia and that was all that was needed for the yellow dresses that refused to be any other color became powder blue. The color Ginny had informed her was Fred’s favorite color.

While her childhood bridesmaid dresses had been forgotten, her dress certainly hadn’t. The skirt was layers and layers of tulle that floated about her legs. The bodice was beaded into patterns of flowers, and the shimmer contrasted the stark white of the skirt. She let Sloane magic diamonds into the curls of her hair until she looked like the fairy queens she had read about in fairytales as a child. As she transformed, she stared out the window to the real fairytale, George.

He was waving his wand across the courtyard, summoning things beneath a silver tent. She craned her neck to see what appeared, but the angle was too harsh to ease her curiosity. So, instead she watched George. He wasn’t in his suit yet, opting instead for his sleep shirt and a pair of plaid pants she had bought him for Christmas. His feet were bare against the morning dew that hadn’t yet evaporated in the July sun. If she had been within earshot, she would have chastised him, worried he was going to catch a cold. Instead, because she wasn’t, she merely watched him, not entirely sure she could believe by the end of the day she would be Mrs. Hannah Weasley.

The last time she had dreamed about getting married had been Year 5 when Donald O’Donoghue had asked to hold her hand during recess. It was the only moment she had deviated from her yellow dress obsession, when he told her his favorite color was lime green; however, after realizing his hands were very sweaty (and viewing the dress options in his choice color) she realized they were not a compatible match. She had had other boyfriends of course, but she never was able to imagine them at the end of the aisle. She hadn’t even been able to imagine George, and now that the day was here, she kept pinching herself. He was so perfect, and so wonderful, and so incomparable that the fact he had chosen her was a miracle in itself.

Suddenly, he looked up and smiled as he caught her smile through the glass. She smiled back, heart still fluttering at the little grin he seemed to save just for her. She waved and tragically caught the others’ attention, who gasped before collectively yanking the curtains closed.

“You can’t let him see you,” her mother scolded, and she rolled her eyes, raising her fingers to peak out once more, disappointed to find he had disappeared from view.

“We’ll be okay,” she whispered, smiling when she caught a butterfly escape the confines of the tent and traipsed through her open window. It landed on the skirt of her dress and somehow, she knew it was all his doing, a small message that the butterflies were real. She felt herself tearing up, laughing softly to herself at the possibility that it might not even be him, but a simple butterfly.

“Oh dear, Hannah, are you alright?” Molly asked, taking her hand as she crouched down beside the teary-eyed girl.

“I just love him, y’know,” she whispered and suddenly Molly was crying along with her. They laughed as they wiped away their tears, muttering nonsense about eyeliner they both knew would be long gone by the end of the ceremony. “I’m glad you’re okay with me,” she whispered, and Molly instantly dried her tears, replacing profound joy with confusion.

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“Because I’m not like you, our children might not, and I’ll never understand everything,” she rambled, tears gathering again, and Molly pulled her into a bone crushing hug.

“Don’t you ever think that. I love you like my own, and it doesn’t matter as long my son is happy, and you make him happy,” she replied and then they were both sobbing quietly amidst the chaos of the morning.

A knock at the door startled them, and they both quickly dried their eyes as Caroline answered the door. A blond boy poked his head in and any worries that were left about the day melted away at the sight of her best friend.

“Can you give us a second?” she asked, and the woman filed out of the room, only Sloane pausing to kiss him hard enough his lips were printed with the lipstick she was wearing. When the door shut, she stood, and they stared at one another in comfortable silence.

“You look beautiful,” he finally said, and she laughed, brushing away a tear that threatened to fall. “I’m not kidding, and I’m glad it’s George. I never thought I’d say it, but if the first person who decided to care about me has to marry anyone, I’m glad it’s him.”

“My, my, when did you get so sappy?” she teased, if only to stop herself from shedding more tears and he rolled his eyes.

“Leave it to you to make fun of me for being heartfelt for once,” he replied with the same deadpan expression he always used in response to her teasing. She rolled her eyes and in two steps she was hugging him. He hugged her back and she smiled; it was all she needed to know that everything was going to be perfect. “Listen, this isn’t totally why I’m here,” he said, pulling out of the hug with a mischievous grin.

“Oh?”

“Yes, I’m the distraction.”

“The distraction?”

“For this,” he said before spinning her around to a freshly apparated George, wearing a suit and a blindfold. She giggled, stepping forward, barely aware of Draco leaving the room as she took George’s hands in her own.

“Hi George,” she whispered, and she could practically feel him shaking with excitement. She reached up to touch the fabric covering his eyes. “I like the blindfold, very kinky.”

“It’s the only way he would distract them,” he replied, “These people and their traditions.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Doesn’t matter of course, I don’t need to see you to know you look beautiful.” She could only blush, sure if she opened her mouth, he would know how choked up she really was. Even with the blindfold he was entirely too handsome. “And it doesn’t matter how pretty your dress is, because by the end of the night of the night I’m going to rip it off you.”

“I think you mean gently unlace it.”

“Are you marrying someone else today?”

“No.”

“Then when have you ever known me to unwrap something gently?” Now she was glad for the blindfold, that way he couldn’t see how brightly she was blushing. The sound of storming up the stairs caught her off guard and she suddenly felt like a child caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

“Kiss me.”

“What?”

“I can’t wait any longer, kiss me,” she gasped, panicking as the footsteps got closer. While she wanted to admire the little lopsided grin, he gave her, she took his silence as a moment to kiss him before shoving him back as he apparated back to his part of the house. When the door swung open, she was alone once more, only her guilty smile suggesting he had been there.

George landed in his room and ripped off the blindfold. Ron and Draco looked at him and he grinned. Bloody hell, he was lucky. Just as he had said to her, he didn’t need to see her to know that she was the most radiant thing he had ever seen. He just knew, he could sense it by the way her skin touched his and the way she felt when she kissed him. He adjusted his cufflinks, admiring the newest addition to the clock before making his way outside to the tent he had spent all morning.

It had been a task, convincing Hannah to let him decide the decorations, but once she had agreed it had been a breeze. It was easy pleasing the love of his life, especially when he had the best interrogators working in his favor. Sloane had pressed her for details about everything she wanted and then some, finding out all the creative workings of her mind before passing every bit of knowledge over to him. Now, butterflies that left gold trails drifted around the room and vines of orchids twisted into pillars that held up the tent. The white benches held their friends and family, some (his dad) already crying. He made his way around the room, checking to make sure everyone was seated, too nervous to sit around and wait for the ceremony to begin.

At the front, beside his teary father was an empty seat. He stepped forward, wondering who the seat could be saved for when his heart jolted. Emblazoned in gold across the back was the name that had once haunted him, and then a small table card caught his eye. He lifted it up with shaking fingers and almost began to cry in front of the entire congregation. In Hannah’s terrible handwriting were the words, “Wouldn’t want him to miss it.” He looked up, searching for whoever had placed it there and was only met with a wink from Malfoy. He offered him a grateful smile before placing the card down once more and taking his spot at the altar. He hadn’t chosen a best man, knowing that no one could replace who it should have been and having Malfoy as the other groomsman was the last thing he would have expected, but nothing could have been more perfect. No one had protested when the choice was made, and the confused boy had even been invited to family dinner for the rest of eternity.

Suddenly, the music began, and the crowds stood to watch as Caroline and Sloane made their way down the aisle in powder blue dresses. He lovingly shook his head at his soon to be wife. She never failed to surprise and replacing the yellow she never seemed to stop raving about with powder blue was certainly one for the books.

And then there she was, smiling at him like an angel. His eyes filled with tears to match hers, and he let them slide down his face without shame, because there she was, the beginning of profound joy and the end of the tunnel.

The End

[cthulhuliet]

my high hopes (are getting low)

3.9k words [total 13k words] (part one) (part two) (part three) | AO3 Link | warnings: homophobia, use of slurs, dubious morality, completely unnecessary religious references, implied/referenced self-harm

'Cause my High hopes are getting low because these people are so old The way they think about it all If I tried I would never know

Light Yagami's world view is shifted after a conversation with his father concerning L's sexuality. Anger in his veins and unconfessed feelings bubbling to the surface, Light and L enact a plan of revenge against the homophobic views of the task force.

~

Out of the task force headquarters for the first time in months brought him a certain amount of joy, an extreme weight of his chest- or rather weight off his wrist. With his memories back, himself and Misa cleared of any suspicions thanks to the fake rules he constructed in the Death Note, Light had won.

Of course, there was still much work that needed to be done. This roadblock had lasted longer than Light wanted or anticipated, but no matter. To achieve everything the world needed was going to take time and effort- time and effort that he alone could commit to. He needed to be rid of L as well. Foolish, stupid Misa forgot his name, so that was simply another obstacle he would need to pass. But no matter, tonight was for celebration.

The celebration at a bar only miles away from task force headquarters is not exactly where he would have chosen, but Ryuzaki insisted that if the task force were going out into the public to to celebrate they were to not stray far from headquarters. Light idly looked around the lowlights of the bar, shaking his head into his beer. He wouldn’t be surprised if L had every shop within a 5 mile radius littered with cameras and bugs.

“Attention everyone,” Soichiro stood up, hold his glass out to the detectives, “I would like to make a toast: this is to all your hard work, the long hours, the uncertainty of tomorrow, the progress we made, and-” He pointedly looked at Light , “To the clearing of names.” He raised his glass, “To Light!”

“To Light!” The detective’s echoed, Matsuda softly clapping, and Aizawa giving him a sock to the arm.

“How’s it feel to be a free man?” His father asked, eyes shining behind his glasses.

Light chuckled, “Father, this is the best I have felt in a long time,”

“Here, here!” Mogi agreed.

“Fresh air, sun on your face,” Matsuda mused, “Boy, that Ryuzaki really doesn’t get out much, does he?”

“Can you imagine him coming out to a bar like this, or even a restaurant or gym?”

“No wonder he is so skinny,”

“And pale,”

Light shook his head, “Hey now, no need for any of that,” He took a quick sip of his beer, “You guys may know him, but I was chained to Ryuzaki, ok? Talk to me when you get kicked in the face by him,” The table roared with laughter, Light smirked to himself. “Might just get a kick of PTSD when I eventually do get to cuff Kira,”

Soichiro shook his head, smiling, “We are closer than ever, I can feel it. The real Kira is in our grasp, now that we are all cleared,”

Light huffed dryly, “Well, some of us aren’t fully in the clear,”

Soichiro sighed, resting his chin in the palm of his hand. Light looked into his father’s eyes: determination but exhaustion were swimming behind his pupils- Light hates L for causing his father so much stress. Even the hardest working, most respectable men need time stress free. God himself created a day of rest for a reason.

“Ryuzaki will come around, I am sure of it,” He idly scratched the stubble on his cheek, eyes on Light but mind elsewhere, “I am not exactly sure what more proof he needs… The young man’s pride is getting in the way of his deductive skills,”

“He did say at one point he did want Light to be Kira…” Matsuda chimed it.

“Precisely,” Soichiro took a long drink, “He will come around, I am sure of it. I mean, look at us now. Even a few weeks ago, and outing such as this was completely out of the realm of possibilities,”

“I am more surprised Ryuzaki himself didn’t come with us just to keep tabs on what we are talking about,”

“Matsuda, you are insane if you believe that he wouldn’t find out some way or another,”

“Ahh, yeah. A small part of me wishes Ryuzaki would come out with us, though. I do have to admit that I am mildly curious as to what he would drink,” Matsuda shrugged.

Soichiro grunted, shaking his head, “I am sure each of us wishes that we knew Ryuzaki just a little bit more. We simply have to make our own interpretations based upon the small bits of information and hints he drops us,”

Light nodded, a small smile on his face, “That man would probably be an even longer investigation than the Kira one,”

The table nodded, but Aizawa drummed his finger on the table, “You guys say that, but I already know everything that I need to know about that little freak,”

Aizawa took a long sip of his whiskey, the detective’s eyes narrow and angry. It had been obvious to most of the task force that he never liked Ryuzaki: Aizawa’s short temper and L’s aloofness often clashed, but there also seemed to be something else bubbling under the surface- and itch that needed some sort of external validation to be scratched.

“What do you mean, Aizawa?” Light probed the detective. If he for some reason and somehow got more information about L…

Aizawa looked around, now holding the full attention of the table in the palm of his hand. He rubbed behind his earlobe, his voice sharp and intense, “I was talking with Wedy and Aiber after the arrest of Higuchi. Just idly chatting. I was curious about their history with Ryuzaki. What kind of criminal would endear themselves to the most prolific detective? When did they even get close enough to be on call for him?” Aizawa idly cracked his knuckles, looking down at the stain wood of the table, recounting the events from that night, “It seems as though those two know Ryuzaki better than we do,”

Light’s skin felt as though it was on fire. He had never had much interest in the detective, but his attention was solely focused on Aizawa. Whatever it was, whatever Aizawa found out from the two con-artists, he simply had to know, his need and curiosity were going to burn him alive if the normally straight-forward cop didn’t speak faster.

“What did you find out,” Soichiro frowned, “Like, his history or name or something,”

Light wanted to scream.

Aizawa shook his head, sipping the brown liquid, “No. Nothing like that, just some taboo information that our good friend Ryuzaki opted not to tell us,”

Matsuda frowned, “Taboo?”

“Yeah,” He scoffed, tapping the glass with the palm of his finger- eyes hard and jaw set. His eyes quickly darted from one side of the nearly empty bar to the other, now staring down his whiskey. “Let’s just say,” He spoke in a low voice, “I am certainly glad Ryuzaki doesn’t go to the gym. I would pity any man who had to share a locker room alone with him.” Aizawa threw the rest of his drink down his throat and loudly set the empty glass on the table, the silence thick and palpable.

No one said anything for a long time. No one moved their drinks or spoke. Light looked down at the table, eyes hard, waiting for someone to break the silence; someone had to release him from this torture, and he couldn’t be the one to speak up.

When Soichiro scoffed, picking up his glass, all eyes turned to him, “Well. I can’t say I am surprised,” He grumbled. The rest of the squad nodded in agreement, all going back to their idle actions.

“I mean, I always had my suspicions,” Matsuda said, “He is a pretty weird guy and something always seemed a bit off when we were alone together. I just chalked it up to Ryuzaki being Ryuzaki but now that I know- like I know ...” He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, hand coming up to rub the back of his neck, “Uck… I need to go home and have a shower,”

Soichiro then locked eyes with Light, “Light, if that Ryuzaki ever made a pass at you or made you feel-”

“Father, I promise you everything was fine,” Light muttered, responding to his father but his head was elsewhere, “I never even knew, or considered it a possibility, actually,”

Aizawa frowned, tapping the table harshly with his index finger, “With the chain, when you had to shower, or use the restroom, what did you even-”

“There was a hook in the bathroom, so there was at least some semblance of privacy,” Light opted to keep the fact that there were cameras covering every inch of the bathroom to himself.

Soichiro seemed unsatisfied with that answer, “I was never a fan of that chain situation, none of us were, but we all trusted Ryuzaki. Now- now that I know my son was chained for months on end to some pervert…” He steady his rising voice but Soichiro was gripping his glass so hard, Light was worried it would shatter under his hold.

“It is just wrong,” Aizawa chimed in, Mogi nodding along, unenthusiastically, “Morally, completely wrong.”

“Here, here,” Matsuda echoed, cheerlessly. “Those are the kinds of people Kira should take care of,”

Light’s eyes widened, shaking his head, “Matsuda, don’t talk like that,”

Aizawa shook his head, a short emotionless laugh was followed with an omission from the other detective. “This may just be the whiskey talking, but instead of FBI agents and business men, maybe Kira could work on keeping those kinds of people out of society. I don’t need queers around, I have 2 kids,”

Soichiro nodded, “It is a pity. Can’t imagine how Ryuzaki’s parent’s must feel. Maybe they know and that’s why he is the way he is,”

“Pity the pair of them,”

“Yeah,”

Light said nothing. Soichiro continued, “Glad I don’t have to worry about that. Sayu talks about that Hideki Ryuga on too many occasions to count, and that Ms. Amane is more than treating Light here well,”

Eyes hard set on his Father, Light asked his dad a question that had been on the tip of his tongue since Aizawa’s information had been revealed. “Father, what would you do if-”

Cutting him off, Soichiro looked at Light seriously, “If that happened, I wouldn’t need some magical notebook. I’d take my marksman training and deal with it myself,”

Light smiled, chuckling, “Of course, Father,”

Light’s fingernails were gripping the inside of his palm, the force at which was nearing the point of drawing blood. He was doing his best to remain cool and collected, but the more the men talked the more his anger was becoming all consuming: a threat that was rearing its ugly head and threatening to crawl out of his throat with an ear splitting cry of rage.

“I think I need the restroom,” Light stood up stiffly, 4 pairs of concerned eyes on him. He gave them a curt nod, “Gentlemen,” And walked quickly to the other side of the bar.

The restroom was a unisex single stall that Light opened with more forced then neccesarry and locked the door. He stumbled over to the sink, switching it on the coldest setting. Balling up his fists, he slammed them down onto the dirty ceramic, a frustrated cry erupting from him.

“Son of a bitch!” Light choked out. Neat fingernails gripped the sides of the sink, chilling water splashing and threatening to soak the edges of Light’s expensive button up, but he barely noticed that fact, as he was mentally steeling himself to not allow the hot tears he felt bubbling to spill. Crying in any capacity was wasted energy, and even more so, he didn’t want to have to explain the tear tracks on his cheeks to any of his much older colleagues.

“Geez, you look like a mess,” A gravelly voice phased. Light looked in the mirror in front of him and saw Ryuk’s wide eyes staring back at his reflection.

Light scoffed, looking away from the mirror, “Welcome back, where have you been, Ryuk?”

Ryuk floated closer to the sink, casually wiggling his fingers, “I was nagging some cherries from the bartender. Not as good as apples but I’ll take what I can get,”

“Does fruit even taste different to Shinigamis?”

“Oi oi, what is that supposed to mean,” Ryuk frowned.  Light shrugged his shoulders, sighing. Ryuk put a thumb to his chin, “It is clear I missed something. You going to fill me in, Light?”

For the first time since entering the bathroom, Light felt about 7% calmer. He took a deep breath, studying the brown eyes of his reflection. Still rimmed with red, but not nearly as dam breaking as before. He turned around to face the Shinigami, casually leaning against the sink, arms crossed.

“Aizawa just told me some information,”

“Eh?”

“Information about L,”

Ryuk laughed wildly. Flipping himself upside-down, he continued to cackle, “Isn’t that just interesting. What did he say? Is your plan going to be a little easier?”

Light crossed his arms, refusing to look at Ryuk’s animated movements, and instead inspected a cracked tile in the otherwise pristine floor, “No. Aizawa told me that L is gay,”

“Eh?” Ryuk flipped himself upright and stood on the floor normally, curiously looking at the human, “Well, I suppose that is fine… Though I guess that means it isn’t with you. I didn’t realise that you were uh, what’s the human word for it...” Ryuk scratched his hair, and Light quirked up an eyebrow, “Oh. Didn’t know you were homophonic,”

Light frowned, “What?”

“Homophonic. You don’t like gay people,”

Running a hand through his hair Light sighed, “It is homophobic, not homophonic. Homophonic has to do with music,” Light turned back to the water that was still running and rolled up his sleeves, idly washing his hands, “I didn’t think you would get this much stupider after being away from me for so long,”

Ryuk defensively put his hands up, talking to Light’s reflection, “Hey, don’t look at me. You humans are the weird ones, making up gender and sex and all these words we don’t have in the Shinigami realm. It’s confusing sometimes, ok?” Light didn’t respond as he pulled some paper towels from the holder and dried his hands, “Either way, I didn’t know you were homophobic. Hyuk, probably makes you want to kill L more, doesn’t it,”

Light’s eyes flashed red, and in an instant, he kicked the plastic bin across the room in a blind rage of fury, “Of course it doesn’t!” Dried towels littered the ground, Ryuk slapping one away from himself as it floated onto his shoulder, “But apparently if you don’t fit into the perfect straight mold that we have been told, all morals go out the window!” His back hit the wall, and Light sunk down onto the floor, Ryuk still standing in shock, “All of the detectives out there said that they would want to rid the world of anyone who was different. No matter how hard working, or what they do, or how much they are worth to society, if you don’t fit that mold, you are better off dead. They said they L would be better off dead, that-” He paused, picking at a loose string on his pants, tugging on it and idly throwing it away, “My own father said he would kill me,”

Ryuk stood next to Light in stunned silence, only a couple times before had he seen the man lose his temper and each time he was unsure of how to respond to it. He began picking up the towels littered on the ground, “So, Light, are you saying that you’re…”

Chuckling dryly, Light shook his head, “I thought this kind of thing didn’t matter to Shinigamis?”

“No, but it matters to you humans. Besides, this is very interesting,”

Light rested his head against his knees, staring at the crack in the tile again, “I don’t want to label myself, not really. Like you said, it is a dumb human thing.” Biting his thumbnail, Light thought for a moment about what he wanted to say, “I was about 13 when I realised I couldn’t relate to my friends. I thought I was smarter than them for not caring about kissing girls and spin the bottle. I pretty much wrote off relationships altogether. It wasn’t until Misa that I realised what was wrong,”

“Eh? Misa?”

“Yeah, I know,” A rare smile formed on Light’s face. Rare because he was talking about Misa, someone who he regarded as one of the banes of his existence, “She was rambling on one day, and told me that she also likes girls in the way she likes me. Granted, she immediately went on to say she would never leave me, and we were soulmates, but those words kept me up because I never even realised it was an option.

“I did some research and some of the greatest minds on Earth were also queer in some capacity. Alan Turing, Julius Caesar, Ihara Saikaku- all great people who made waves in history. And yet,” Light made fists with his hands, “Some people, some idiots would believe they were better off dead just because of who they choose to lay with.

“I may have a personal bias, but if the Gods never cared about gender and sex, then why would I when passing judgement? You said it yourself, Ryuk: it is merely a human constructed concept. I am far above viewing people as just that. It is simply an aspect of yourself, not who you are. Your actions are far more important. Be a useful, moral member of society and why does it matter who you sleep with?”

Ryuk finished cleaning up the towels and sat on the floor across from Light, “Heh, and the detectives don’t share that same sentiment?”

“Yeah,” Light’s voice dripped with venom, “They told all of us multiple times to not pass judgement off of one action, and yet my father said he would put a gun to my head and if I kissed a boy he would shoot me dead,”

Ryuk tilted his head to the side, “Guess we finally found the greyness in your morality,” He cackled wildly, but Light was not amused.

Light sat up straight, looking Ryuk straight into his eyes, “I don’t need those kinds of people in my world,” He spoke with finality, and tapped open the secret compartment of his watch, the small corner piece of the Death Note blank and ready for him.

“Light, wait,” Ryuk’s eyes widened and he took a couple steps towards him, towering over Light. He frowned, red anger brewing in his pupils, “I am not supposed to help, not really, but please think, ok? For one, this is your father we are talking about, you can’t-”

“Ryuk, he said he would kill me!” Light stood up and shouted, all care for staying calm left him, “He said I would be better off dead, how am I supposed to take that?”

“Alright,” He responded, the almost 7 foot Shinigami felt very small all the sudden, “What about this? You and the task force leave headquarters for the first time in months. You disappear to the bathroom and all the task force is dead except for you. What conclusion is L going to draw from that, hm?”

Light threw his pen across the room, hitting and marking the wall it connected with, “So what should I do, then, huh? Just let them all walk around, making judgements about those who didn’t do anything?” He made fists with his hands, not paying any attention to pain, fury and rage was all Light felt now. Drops of blood trickled down his palm and under his nails- he finally broke the skin. “They don’t deserve any of that, so why did my father say that? Why do they get to decide what is moral? Where is the justice for them!” His breath got more and more ragged, to the point of hyperventilation. Light suddenly felt very, very dizzy.

When he was a young child, after he just learned how to swim, Light would go off the diving board and teeter at the edge of it, testing gravity. Challenging it. He wanted to fly. He thought he could cheat it somehow. If he ran quick enough, if he closed his eyes, if he acted casual as he stepped off the board, but everytime the wind on his face and the unforgiving coldness of the pool water let him know that Light had failed. Getting the Death Note was the closest he felt to defying gravity. Light could step off the board now and simply float; floating high above the gravity that pulled him down, and high above the water that wanted to engulf him.

However, for the first time since he got the Note, Light was no longer floating: Light was drowning. Gravity was forcing him underwater, suffocating him. It was filling up his lungs and choking him. Is this the grim misfortune that Ryuk said to him? Is this how it feels like to be held underwater- thrashing and crying and begging for the element to relent? To release it’s hold and breathe? Light can’t imagine the real thing feeling any other way.

A knock on the door brought Light back to land. He stayed silent as he listened to the voice outside the door, “Light? You doing ok in here? Your dad is worried about you and…”

Matsuda trailed off. Light paused for a moment, and walked himself to the other side of the bathroom, raising his voice, “Yeah, I am ok. Just, uh, the drink I had before the beer was pretty strong, and I didn’t eat beforehand so, uh, y’know,”

“Oh, are you ok?”

“Yeah,” Light struggled to keep his voice even.

“Something always seemed a bit off when we were alone together…”

“I am all good, Matsuda,”

“Uck… I need to go home and have a shower…”

“I appreciate your concern,”

Matsuda stayed silent for a minute before responding, “We are about to head out. Do you want us to wait or-”

“Go on ahead,” Light responded immediately, “I’ll get Watari to call me a car or something,”

Matsuda sighed, “As long as you are sure, but just let someone know when you get back. I’ll tell Soichiro you aren’t feeling well,”

Light listened to the detective’s retreating footsteps. He closed the lid on the toilet and put his head in his hands, “I want to kill them,” Ryuk cackled wildly, causing Light to look up, “What? Unless you have something helpful to contribute I-”

Ryuk floated, spinning himself above Light, “You could kill them, that is easy. Killing is like breathing to you, Kira,” He laughed again, “But trust me when I say that there are much more creative, much more fun forms of punishment,”

Light’s interest was piqued, he looked at the Shinigami with curiosity, “What exactly are you thinking?”

Shrugging, he began to phase through the wall, “I am not going to tell you what to do, that is all up to you, Light. However-” Ryuk’s head was all that was remaining in the room, a smile even more wicked than his usual one plastered on his face, “-maybe you should talk to your pal, L, about what you learned today,”

Cackling, Ryuk left the room, but Light alone with his thoughts. It didn’t even take 3 minutes for Light to come up with a plan.

[watchtower-feed]

Death Do We Part (Part 7)

SSA Spin-off ✧ Jason Todd ✧ Physical Link ✧ 1 ✧ 2 ✧ 3 ✧ 4 ✧ 5 ✧ 6 ✧ 7 ✧ 8 ✧ 9 ✧ 10 ✧ 11 ✧ 12 ✧ 13 ✧ 14 ✧ 15 ✧ Notes: This is turning out to be a slow burn fic and I’m sad. I’m going to sneak in some fluff in the next part. Words: 2,354

    Bruce glares down at her, “Where’s Jason?”

    Talia’s eyes narrow in sadness and she closes them as she shakes her head. “He betrayed the League. He killed them all.”

    Before she could even finish her words, you’re already lifting up your knees to hide your face.

    “He’s gone, beloved.”

     Jason stares at the ceiling in his room, absentmindedly caressing his arms, finally wondering if he’ll ever see your words on his arms again. After what happened, what he did, he expected you to write strings of profanities and some words of disappointment or sadness. He at least expected a strong punch in the gut but all he’s received is silence.

     He’s drowning in the silence of his room. The silence of his days and nights. The silence even the wind brings in the desert. So many times he’s found himself clutching the fountain pen but never dipping it in the ink bottle. Only hovering its tip over his skin. He knows he’s done something extremely wrong and he can never redeem himself.

     But then he thinks, why does it matter? Just because you were born with the link, doesn’t mean anything. He thinks that every time he gets knocked down in training. He considers it while he watches his wounds bleed and stain his clothes. He thinks of you whenever he coughs blood into his palms.

     He can’t say sorry. He knows how but he doesn’t want to. He tells himself he needs this. These little bouts and drills are necessary for the future he wants, a future without his murderer. He’s just not sure if he wants you in it. Or if you’ll want him.

     Frustrated, Jason rubs his head, messing up his hair, and locks himself in his room without dinner. He closes his windows, turns off the lights, and lies still on his bed. He shuts his eyes and takes one last deep breath before numbing his body to the cold air in his room and the soft cotton bed.

     The first thing he feels from you is warmth. Then there’s a cackle like fire eating away at a piece of wood. He can feel the heat on his face and palms and he can almost see you sitting in front of the large fireplace at the manor.

     He focuses on his auditory senses but doesn’t hear anything, just the fire and wood softly echoing in the room. Then he hears the large wooden door slowly open along with a voice he hasn’t heard in years.

     “Y/N.” He can hear his father. His voice is so gentle and wary. Jason wonders if he used that voice to whisper apologies to his own dead body when he found him. “Dick called me because you weren’t answering his calls.”

     “Oh. I left my phone in my room.”

     Your voice still floods every fiber in Jason’s body. His body shivers, almost breaking his concentration. He hasn’t heard your voice for the longest time and it’s only now that he realizes how much he misses it.

     “I’ll tell him.” Jason doesn’t hear the wooden door close. Only the crackling fire continues to fill the room with sound. “I’m not going to ask you what happened but I want you to know that you can always talk to me about it. It may not seem like it but I am a good listener.”

     Jason almost wants to laugh with joy. For a moment, he’s happy that Bruce is taking care of you. Treating you with as much care and sympathy as he did for him.

     “Do you…” Jason feels you nibbling on your lips before you continue speaking, “Is there a way to get rid of a soulmate link?” you whisper.

     Jason suddenly feels whiplashed. His body has gone stiff with his mouth open and his brows furrowed, creasing close together at the center.

     “It’s not the bruises or the bleeding-- It’s just---”

     Bruce waits a few more seconds before prodding, “Just?”

     “Just,” you reply with finality. “Thank you, Bruce. I’ll go ahead and text Dick.”

     Jason feels the warmth of the fire disappear from your face.

     “Y/N, after we find Jason, I’ll help you find a way. If that’s still what you want.”

     Jason doesn’t hear you reply. After a moment, the next thing he feels is soft cotton on his face, warm tears on his cheeks, and nothing else for the rest of the night. When Jason wakes up, his own eyes are strained and tears have dried up on his own cheeks.

     “You seem distracted,” Talia frowns as he scrutinizes Jason who quickly goes defensive.

     “I’m not.”

     Talia doesn’t say anything but she keeps watching him throughout the day. The extra pair of eyes on him during training does not help him feel any better. He’s making mistakes he wouldn’t have as Robin and he keeps glaring at Talia until she leaves with a huff.

     Finally done for the day, Jason takes a stroll around the compound, something he’s taken to doing ever since you stopped writing. He wants to be sure he knew every nook and cranny of the place where he’s being held. 

     One of his favorite spots was an empty well half-concealed by foliage. He believes it’s directly under one of the tunnels connecting the fortress into the sacred city, a tunnel off-limits to assassins in training, so he’s been toiling his restless nights digging away at it absently-mindedly.

     “We may need to bring the soulmate in.”

     Talia’s calculating voice floats down the well as her shadow looms over Jason. He quickly panics but notices that Talia has her back turned to the well. Jason quickly flattens himself against the wall directly closest to Talia and Ra’s Al Ghul and slows down his breathing.

     “He still thinks we don’t know about the link. It could be our last chance to keep the boy in our control.”

     Ra’s grunts, “You know as well as I do how much more difficult that contingency plan is.”

     “Yes. My beloved has taken in a new ward. But we both know he’s not training Y/N. She’s still an easy target.”

     Jason grit his teeth. Your name passing through Talia’s lips does not sit well with him, especially the implication of what they have planned for you. What they’ve always planned for you.

     Ra’s is quiet for a while. A distant call catches both of their attention. “If the boy continues to fare poorly, then we may revisit this discussion.”

     Jason doesn’t go back to his room. Fueled by anger, frustration, and a grave sense of panic, he stays inside the deep well. After hours pacing back and forth in the darkness, forcing his breathing to calm down unsuccessfully, he stomps and jumps in anger inside the well. The dirt floor muted his feet but it cracked under his weight.

     A small patch of earth gave way and Jason fell through. He landed on hard ground in what seemed to be a man-made tunnel. The very tunnel he’s been digging to see.

     Then everything clicks inside his head. Quick-thinking and resourceful, like a true Robin. Jason looks up through the hole until he finds the moon halfway to its apex and estimates what time it is. From what he’s heard from the other assassins, the city is only an hour ride away from the fortress so he might just have enough time to run there and back before his morning training.

     Eth Alth'eban was a small city filled with priest warriors. They valued their faith and religion above everything. They prided themselves as people of great devotion and resilience. While the League of Assassins saw them as an obstacle over the land where the new Lazarus pit can thrive. 

     It took one week for the League to completely bring the sacred city down. Less than that to completely break down the citizens’ wills and only four days to corrupt half of their souls.

     Human trafficking. That was the new-age problem the League had employed to completely eradicate a city of devotion and resilience. They kidnapped their children, and then their women, and sold them to the next cities over. Once they fought their warriors, they were so enraged, they’ve lost all reason and that’s when the League had the upper hand.

     They defeated them but didn’t kill them. They fought the warriors of Eth Alth'eban until they were on their knees begging for mercy. Blood running down their face and saliva spitting from their mouth every time they pleaded. The assassins took one look at them and then walked away.

     That was their mistake. Once Jason had made it to the city, he immediately locates a small resistance of young people, children of the warriors the League had shamed. Without caution but with complete determination, he strides up to them with his hands up and states his purpose clear and loud.

     They stare at him like he’s crazy. Jason thinks he is crazy. But there’s no time and he knows what they want and how to make them agree. The group look at each other in question until the tallest one finally speaks.

     “If what you say is true, how do you expect us to go up against the League of Assassins in one night?”

     Jason grins, finally getting somewhere, much sooner than he thought. “We’re going to need guns. Lots of it.”

     A few months later, Jason stands front and center, surrounded by assassins and stared down by Ra’s Al Ghul. It’s one of those nights where a training member is given the chance to challenge a fully-fledged assassin. If they pass, it’s a sign that they no longer need training and they have achieved their first kill.

     The League is in shock when Jason walks past the assassins, the elite members, and stands right in front of Ra’s. By League tradition, only a blood-relative or a betrothed can challenge Ra’s, a fight for the position of the Demon Head.

     Jason chuckles, “I’m just messing with you.” He laughs boisterously as the room goes sour. Some of the young assassins try to stifle their snickers but Ra’s, Talia, and the elite members are not amused. 

     “Do you think this is funny? Is the League truly a joke to you?” Talia snaps at him.

     Jason doesn’t look at her. “I wasn’t trying to be funny.” He turns around to look at the full number of the League. He turns to the shadows in the darkness, counting the silhouettes surrounding the premises overhead. Absentmindedly he replies, “I was trying to get out of the way.”

     Bullets rain down like hellfire. Ra’s shouts orders. Talia pulls out her sword. But Jason is faster and he shoots both of them in the chest before they could even take a step toward him. He shoots them two more times along their torso and doesn’t wait for the youth of Eth Alth'eban to finish fulfilling their lifelong dream of vengeance.

     Jason sneaks away and finally escapes the fortress that has held him and shaped him for a whole year. The League of Assassins are bad guys, villains, but their methods are right. How can evil truly leave Gotham if Batman never stops it from breathing?

     Jason’s first destination is home, smuggling himself aboard a cargo ship and slipping into the city under the Bat’s radar. He doesn’t go straight to Wayne manor even though his feet are itching to come running to you. To his home.

     “So close yet so fucking far,” he whispers to himself as he waits for another night of darkness to veil the city and deafen it with sirens. He has been waiting for one big villainous operation that can distract the Bats for a few hours. He plans on going to Wayne manor and take you with him, away from Gotham and go anywhere in the world.

     Finally, from the surveillance he’s planted at every exit of the cave, he sees them leave at the same time, leaving you and Alfred in the manor. Jason still knows the property like the back of his hand and uses the shadows and blind spots to make his way toward the back entrance.

     He suddenly stops when he sees you on a balcony, the balcony of his room. Your arms are crossed. Your eyes are staring directly ahead at the horizon of the foggy and blurry Gotham skyline.

     “It’s warmer tonight. Did you find a better place?”

     At first, Jason thinks you saw him.

     “I bet you hated the sand getting in your hair and on your face,” you chuckle softly. “I stopped getting seasick so I’m guessing you’ve finally arrived… wherever it is you’re trying to get to.”

     Jason slowly crouches down beneath the balcony, pressing his back against the brick wall and straining his ears to hear you better, letting your voice replenish him like an oasis in the desert.

     “Dick thinks you’re here. In Gotham. That’s why they’ve been out there every single night. Scouring the city for you. Hoping you’re not injured. Hoping you’re fine. Hoping you haven’t completely turned to the dark side...”

     You pause for a breath and your voice sounds different when you speak next. Quiet. Sadder. “I hope you’re not injured. I hope you’re well. I also hope you’re not here.”

     Jason closes his eyes and leans his head against the wall, searing pain tearing through his chest.

     “After what you did, Jason… Bruce thinks the first thing you’ll do in Gotham is kill the Joker.”

     Your next words come in an even softer voice, almost strained, “Then maybe Tim…”

     Jason opens his eyes. All relief has been washed away from his body. Why don’t you think he’ll see you first?

     “I hope he’s wrong. I hope you decided to leave this life and choose a better one. You’ve always been scrappy, Jason. You can achieve anything you put your mind to.”

     Jason hears you sigh along with the shiver that goes through your body.

     “I don’t know if you’re listening this time. I felt you listening before, sometimes when I’m at the fireplace, or down in the cave, or pretending to be asleep… If you’re listening now, and if you’re in Gotham City… turn back. Take this second chance. Find a new purpose--”

     Jason’s heard enough. He slams the wall with his fist and rushes from the shadows until he’s off the property.

     You’re startled. You quickly scan the property for any movement but you just miss the figure retreating into the distance. Back into Gotham City.

✧ 1 ✧ 2 ✧ 3 ✧ 4 ✧ 5 ✧ 6 ✧ 7 ✧ 8 ✧ 9 ✧ 10 ✧ 11 ✧ 12 ✧ 13 ✧ 14 ✧ 15 ✧

✧ Watchtower Masterlist ✧

[myveryownfanfiction]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0EQlIzPowM

Chapter 5

It had been about a month since John had confessed his feelings for me. His birthday was coming up and while we had been on many dates since, I wasn’t entirely sure where we stood in terms of our relationship.Things hadn’t really changed from before he told me he liked me. I knew that I had concert tickets for his favorite band, The Smell, and I was going to give them to him tomorrow. I also knew that I was going to ask him the first chance I got. We were currently laying on my bed watching some stupid show on TV, my hand playing with John’s hair. 

“Luv I’m gonna fall asleep if you keep doing that.” John mumbled as his hand came to rest on my thigh. I snapped out of my thoughts. 

“Oh! Sorry.” I jolted, pulling my hand back and putting it on his chest. I could feel John’s laughter as he reached up to take my hand. 

“It’s okay luv.” John sat up properly and slipped his arm around me when I moved to lay against his chest. “What’s got you so distracted?” I hummed quietly as I cuddled into his warmth. John squeezed me tighter before repeating the question. I sighed before looking up at him from my position on his chest. 

“Just thinking.” I smiled up at him. He leaned down and kissed my forehead. 

“Thinking about what?” His warm breath ruffled my hair. 

“Us.” I conceded as I burrowed deeper into his hold. John hummed as he pressed another kiss to the top of my head. “I was thinking how much you are going to love your birthday present.” I grinned up at him and he shook his head as he chuckled. “I was thinking about how happy you’ve been the past week and how happy I’ve been.” I shrugged after that. John smiled as he gently rested his cheek against my head. 

“Is that all?” He teased, knowing me well enough to see there was more bugging me. His hand started to run up and down my arm, soothing me in one of his favorite ways. Sitting up more, I sighed as our eyes met.

“No. It isn’t.” I shook my head and watched John move to accommodate the change in position. He cocked his head. “We haven’t changed.” John’s eyebrows furrowed. 

“Sure we have.” He suggested. I could see the wheels turning in his head. “We’re more touchy feely.” I could see that was about where the changes he had noticed ended. 

“But that’s it!” I threw my hands up. “I just….” I got off the bed and started to pace. John was quick to get up and grab my arms to stop me. 

“You just what luv?” John asked. I sighed and hung my head. 

“I just don’t want to mess this up.” I finally admitted. John reached up and gently forced my head to his shoulder. “I’ve wanted this for so long and now that I finally have it…” John cut me off.

“You don’t want to ruin what we had to begin with.” I lifted my head and saw the same thing I was feeling hiding behind John’s eyes. I nodded. “I get that luv. I honestly do.” John rested his forehead against mine. We stood there for a couple of minutes, just enjoying each other’s company. Before long we returned to the bed, tucking ourselves in for the night. “I really do get that (Y/N). Text Chas. Ask him how long he had to deal with me pining after you and talking about you constantly.” I curled up next to John with my head taking its place on his chest. His arms held me to him tightly, his nose nuzzling into my hair. “I’m going to constantly worry about messing this up luv. But I will always, and I do mean always, be there for you no matter what.” I smiled sleepily and hugged John to me tighter.

“I’ll hold you to that Constantine.” I mumbled before drifting off to sleep. The next morning I got up before John and carefully untangled myself from him. I quickly and quietly made my way to the kitchen where I heard my mom making breakfast already. “Where did you put the tickets I got John?” I asked her, bouncing in excitement on the balls of my feet. She smiled and shook her head. 

“Top drawer of my dresser.” She pointed down the hall to my parents’ room. 

“Thanks!” I quietly called back as I took off for the room. I found the tickets right where she said they would be. 

“Morning.” My dad said as he came back from the bathroom. 

“Morning.” I pulled the tickets out of the drawer and turned towards him. “Do you know where the rest of John’s present is? I kind of forgot where I put it.” My dad laughed as he went into his closet and pulled out the box I had put John’s other present in. 

“Here you go.” He handed it to me and I smiled. “You might want to put those tickets in the card.” He winked at me as he left the room to go help my mom finish setting up breakfast. I laughed quietly to myself as I pulled the envelope open and slid the tickets in. I tucked the envelope back into itself and slid it back under the ribbon that held John’s present together. Tucking it under my arm, I quietly made my way back into my room. Setting the box down on my desk, I climbed back into the bed and smiled as I saw John was beginning to stir. 

“(Y/N)?” his sleep addled voice grumbled. I giggled quietly as I watched him slowly wake up. His eyes finally opened to see me kneeling on the bed. 

“Morning birthday boy.” I said cheerily. John chuckled as he sat up and pulled me into a hug. I felt his body relax as I pulled him to me tightly. “I have your present on my desk.” I whispered as I just enjoyed the hug. John pulled back from me and gave me the biggest smile ever. 

“Present?” He asked. I could tell he was excited. I nodded as I pulled away and got off the bed. 

“Yes.” I picked up the box and turned towards him with a smile. “Well more like presents.” I put it on the bed in front of him and watched as he looked from the box to me. 

“Do I….” He started to stutter. “D-do I open the b-box first or th-the c-card?” I took the card off the box and smiled. 

“Sorry. That’s a surprise.” John nodded as he started to pull the ribbon off. I watched as he unwrapped the box as if in shock. He finally got to the box and looked up at me. I smiled and nodded encouragingly at him. With a deep breath, he pulled back the top and a smile broke out on his face. Reaching in, John pulled out a new trench coat, a leather jacket, and a couple new records. I couldn’t hold back the pride I felt when John looked up at me with pure joy. He leaned over the box to pull me into a bone crushing hug.

“Thank you (Y/N).” He whispered. “Thank you so much.” I smiled as I pulled back to kiss his cheek. 

“Wait until you see the card.” I chuckled as he buried his face in my neck. At the mention of the card, he let go of me and leaned over me to grab the card. I excused his behavior, knowing full well that this was probably the first proper birthday he’d ever had. John looked at me expectantly. “Go ahead.” I waved my hand at him, letting it fall on his back as he continued to lay on me. I watched as his expression changed into shock as he opened the envelope to reveal the concert tickets. 

“(Y/N).” he breathed as he got off of me. His eyes were watering and I knew that I had either made the greatest mistake of my life or done the best thing ever for him. He didn’t even bother with the card. I watched as his eyes flickered between me and the tickets in his hand. I got off of the bed to stand in front of John, concerned I had messed up.

“John?” I asked timidly. I reached out to touch his arm. John surprised me by surging towards me and wrapped an arm around my waist while letting his hand thread through my hair. My hands flew to his chest to steady myself. “John?” I breathed out as John’s grip on me tightened. He bit his lip as he pulled me impossibly close before finally closing the gap and kissing me for the first time. My eyes widened in shock before closing. I melted into the kiss and moved my arms around John’s neck. I don’t know how long we stood there kissing but it didn’t seem like long enough. All too soon, we were pulling away and taking deep breaths. John rested his head against mine and smiled at me. “Wow.” I whispered, still in shock. 

“Wow indeed.” John chuckled as he pecked my lips. I giggled and gently pushed him back. 

“As much as I liked that,” I said as I leaned away when John tried to kiss me again. “I want to know what you think!” John sighed in contentment before pulling me close again. I leaned back towards him and gently kissed his nose. 

“(Y/N), I can’t thank you enough.” He smiled at me lovingly. “This is above and beyond what I expected. I love it all.” I smiled wide at him and pulled him back for another kiss. 

“I’m glad sweetheart.” I cupped his face. “I’m so very glad.” 

“I take it you’re coming with me to the concert tonight?” John teased and finally let go of me to gather up his presents. I nodded and helped him. I put the records next to mine on the bookshelf, catching the look on his face when I did. It was a mixture of happiness and sadness. We both knew if he took them home his father would probably break them in a drunken rage. But to see them sitting proudly next to mine had a certain domestic and loving feeling to it. I reached out and gently squeezed John’s hand, bringing his attention back to the matter at hand. 

“Well only if you let me wear that jacket.” I teased. John chuckled as he draped it over my shoulders. 

“I already know it’s going to look better on you than on me luv.” He smiled. Once the presents were put in their rightful places, I gathered my clothes for the day before going into my bathroom to change. Once the door was closed, I broke out in a large grin, my fingertips touching my bottom lip. I looked at my reflection in the mirror and couldn’t stop the giggle that burst out of me. I put my clothes down on the sink and braced myself against it as laughter shook my body. I knew John could hear me and I shook my head. 

“I can’t believe it.” I said out loud. “I can’t believe it!” I heard shuffling around in my room and shook my head again. “John Constantine kissed me!” My voice had risen in my excitement and I kept repeating my statement like a prayer. When I had calmed down some, I got dressed for school and opened the door to a smiling John. 

“Believe it luv.” He whispered before pulling me in for another breathtaking kiss. I giggled as we pulled apart and patted his chest gently before breaking out of his hold and heading to the kitchen with him hot on my heels. My parents exchanged looks when we entered, giggling and smiling like village idiots. 

“Morning you two.” my mom teased as she put the finished pancakes on the table. 

“Morning.” John replied. 

“Happy birthday John.” My dad spoke up. John gave him a warm smile in thanks before tucking into breakfast. I shook my head with a smile as I did the same. “I take it you liked your presents?” John nodded. 

“Yeah. They’re amazing!” He answered. He shot me a look and smiled at me with a mouthful of pancake causing me to start to laugh again. My parents exchanged looks again before my mom shook her head. “Thank you for them.” My dad smiled at the two of us. 

“Oh no. We didn’t have anything to do with that. It was all (Y/N).” My dad said. “We just helped her pick the seats.” John looked over at me surprised before taking my hand under the table and squeezing it. 

“I didn’t know that.” He said before going back to his breakfast. 

“Better hurry up you two.” My mom said as she sat down at the table. “Bus will be here soon.” John and I nodded as we finished up and went back to my room to collect what we needed for the day. I had just unplugged my phone when I noticed John wearing his new trench coat. I smiled as I took his hand. We headed to the bus stop to wait, talking about anything and everything. It wasn’t until we were on the bus that I noticed the text from my mom. Opening it, I found three pictures. One was of John and I hugging. The second was of us kissing, which caused me to blush and show John. He laughed as he put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me into him. I sent it to him before looking at the third. It was of John smiling. 

“When was this?” I asked him. John looked down at my phone before shrugging.

“Haven’t the foggiest luv.” He said with a small smile. I texted my mom to find out when she had taken that one. I giggled when she responded. “What?” 

“Apparently it was when I was in the bathroom nearly yelling that you had kissed me.” I bit my lip as John hung his head, a blush dusting his cheeks. 

“I may have a vague memory of hearing a camera click.” He said after a while. I laughed and reached up to gently grasp his chin to turn his head towards me. I kissed him quickly before turning back to my phone. “I’m sorry. I was a little preoccupied with you telling everyone in a ten minute radius that I had kissed you.” John kissed my temple before turning to his own phone to play around with it. 

The day passed in a blur and before we knew it, John and I were back at my house getting ready for the concert. I smiled when I saw that John had dressed in his usual white button down with a red tie and grey dress pants. He was wearing his new trench. I opted to wear a plain t-shirt and black skinny jeans. We both wore combat boots. True to his word, John let me wear his new leather jacket. My parents drove us to the venue and told us where to meet them after the concert was done. Once we had finally found our seats, John could no longer contain his excitement. 

“Luv, I can’t thank you enough for this.” John said as he pulled me close. I smiled up at him as I hugged him. 

“You don’t have to.” I assured him. “It was the least I could do.” I buried my face in his neck and I felt John’s chin rest on the top of my head. It wasn’t long before The Smell took the stage. Being in the mosh pit, John kept a tight hold on me. One arm was around my waist while the other was in a gentle hold around my neck. My hands held onto his forearm and my head rested against his shoulder. John smiled at me turning his head slightly as he pulled me tighter against his body. 

“Best birthday ever.” He said before kissing me. “You are bloody amazing luv. I’m so lucky to have you (Y/N).” 

“I’m even luckier to have you John.” I said, kissing his cheek. But his attention was already back on the band. It didn’t matter though. Because for the first time in a long time, John had enjoyed his birthday.

[banshee1013]

Suptober Day 10 - Sweet Rides

OMG I GOT ONE DONE ON TIME (well, sorta, HAHA).

I finally managed to keep myself to a pencil drawing only, still took me 4 hours but I’m pretty pleased with it.

Then I stayed up until 1:30am finishing the fic - which was supposed to be a FICLET - 2k later! Oops.

Anyway, here’s Day Ten! Now to figure out what to do for tomorr... uh, later today, haha.

====================================

Overall Title: The Road Less Traveled

Overall Rating: Mature (may change to Explicit, we’ll see how it goes)

Tags: Castiel/Dean, mention of Sam/Eileen, Post-Season 15, ExAngel!Cas, MostlyRetiredHunter!Dean, Road Trip

(Note: all ficlets are unbeta’d. At the end of the month, I’ll wrap up whatever I manage to get written, clean it up, get it beta’d, and post to AO3. So please pardon any mistakes!)

========================================================

CHAPTER FIVE - SWEET RIDES

Words: 2026

Dean’s fingers drum a one-handed beat on the steering wheel, keeping time with John Bonham coming over the speakers. His other hand, resting on the bench seat next to him, is loosely entwined with Cas’. 

After their rainy weekend interlude at Rufus’ cabin, Cas has been extra hands-on; never out of contact with Dean in one way or another for very long - and Dean has zero complaints with this development.

Giving a quick squeeze, he disengages his hand from Cas’ and flips the turn signal, sliding over to the lane for I-5 North. 

Cas up to this point has been focused on the passing scenery with half-lidded eyes and soft smile, quiet and seemingly lost in thought. Dean had squeezed his hand a few times during the eight hour drive from the cabin, checking to see if he’d dropped off, but every time Cas had turned to him, returning the squeeze; the look in his eyes full of love and warmth, and Dean will do anything to keep Cas looking at him like that. 

This time, Cas turns to him, but his eyes are now full of curiosity. 

“I-5 North? I thought you wished to go south after we reached the west coast?”

“Thought we’d make a pit stop first.” Dean smirked to himself, recalling the conversation with Sam yesterday when he’d called to check in and found out they were headed to Seattle. 

------------

“Seattle, huh? Helluva drive just to get some Starbucks!” Sam snorted, his voice echoing slightly with the speakerphone on so he can sign the conversation to Eileen.

“Haha, Sammy. No way am I getting Starbucks in Seattle - that’s like going to Italy and getting McDonalds.” Dean paused, glancing over his shoulder toward the bedroom, the Cas-shaped blanket-covered lump in the bed still unmoving, and silently cursed himself for not setting his phone on silent. 

He desperately wanted to be back in there with him.

“So, everything alright? I gotta go, things to do.” More like someONE to do…

Sam did not sound convinced but didn’t push the issue. “Nah, all good here. Eileen and I are back at the bunker and just wanted to make sure you didn’t end up in a ditch somewhere.” Sam chuckles at his own joke, then continues, “Hey, I know where you should go… y’know, when you get to Seattle.” 

Dean sighs - now that he knows nothing is wrong, he’s tempted feign a bad connection and hang up - but he’s genuinely curious to find out what Sam is going to suggest. “Yeah? Do tell.”

“You should get some Dick’s.”

“Hahaha very funny, “ Dean growls, and moves to hang up when Sam yells, “Wait, WAIT!”

“WHAT?” Dean grimaces at the volume of his voice and glances over at his shoulder again. Cas stirs and rolls over but doesn’t wake. “What?” he says again, quieter.

“I mean, you should go eat a Dick’s.” Sam giggles, and Dean hears Eileen's soft laugh in the background.

“Okay, that’s it. I’m outta here.” Dean pulls the phone back from his ear once again and starts to hang up when he hears Eileen’s voice - “Dean, wait!” 

With a mighty sigh, he puts the phone back to his ear and hears a smack in the background; an open palm against muscle and cloth, followed by Eileen’s voice:  “Stop BEING a dick and tell him.” 

“Okay, okay. You guys are no fun.” Sam speaks into the phone again. “It’s a fast food place out there. ‘Best burgers in America’ according to Esquire Magazine.”

-------------------

Cas’ brow pinches in confusion and it’s still the most adorable thing ever. “Pit stop? Why are we stopping for pits?” His eyes narrow. “Are they peach pits? Do you need to distill cyanide from them?”

Dean can’t help himself - he outright guffaws. “No, no cyanide, why would I… I mean, we’re making a detour, stopping somewhere here in Seattle before heading south.” 

“Ah, very well then.” Cas tilts his head. “Is it for coffee? I hear Starbucks is headquartered here, I suppose acquiring some from the original source might be interesting.” 

“NO Starbucks… seriously, why does everyone…,” Dean pauses, then carefully schools his face into a serious expression, “We’re going for Dick’s.” 

“EXCUSE ME?”

“BURGERS!” Dean manages to gasp out as he gets the laughter under control. “It’s a burger place Sam told me about. ‘The most life-changing burger joint in America’ or so Esquire Magazine would have you believe.” Turning to Cas, he arches an eyebrow. “I’ll be the judge of that.”

                                                ~~~ *** ~~~

“What the… Cas, I think I’m gonna be sick.” 

No, it wasn’t from the burgers - Dean hadn’t even gotten to those yet. He’s not even sure if they can. 

As they pulled into the parking area for Dick’s Drive-In, he had slammed on the brakes, Baby coming to a sudden stop with a squeal of rubber on pavement at the sight before him.

The parking lot was full - of Impalas.

Black 1967 Impalas to be exact. DOZENS of them, all in a row.

Some had their trunks open, the inside of the lids decorated with devil traps and wards. Others had green coolers nearby, identical to the one in his backseat. 

The squeal of tires had drawn the attention of the people gathered around, and one in particular waves and makes his way over to them.

“Oh shit, no no no…” Dean mutters, then quickly plasters on a wan smile as the guy approaches his window and leans on the sill. 

“Hey there, I”m Davis, President of the Seattle chapter of the Supernatural Haunted Impalas club.” Dean glanced down at the man’s outstretched hand, briefly considers peeling rubber out of the parking lot and reluctantly decides against it - the last thing they need is a APB out on them for decapitating a guy in full view of witnesses - and takes the guy’s hand. 

“hi, uh… De.. Daniel. I”m Daniel… uh, Dan, and this is… “ Releasing the guy’s… Davis’... hand, he turns to Cas, eyes wide and imploring. 

Thankfully, Cas gets it. “Calvin,” Cas says, taking Davis’ hand and giving it a solemn shake - up and down, twice, and a quick release - “You can call me Cal.” 

Davis blinks, then gives them a broad smile. “Nice to meet you boys. We’re all just parked over there, find a spot and come say hi!” He leans back, his smile widening. “Nice cosplay, by the way - Dean, I presume, and you must be Endverse Cas, am I right?” He throws fingerguns and a wink before turning to head back to the group.

“We should leave… yeah, we should definitely get the HELL OUTTA HERE…” Dean looks over his shoulder, trying to figure out the quickest way to bail on the situation; but just then, a loud rumble erupts from Cas’ stomach. 

“Dean…” Cas sighs. “I’m very hungry, and you promised me a life-changing burger.” He gestures at the group, many of whom are now actively watching them. “And they’ve already noticed us. We might as well go and order the burgers, and then make an excuse to leave.” He drops puppy-dog eyes to rival Sam’s, and Dean knows he has no recourse but to go through with the charade - at least long enough to get a burger.

“FINE. We’ll order the burgers, make nice with locals while they’re cookin’, and then get the hell outta Dodge.” 

Dean pulls into a spot at the end of the long line of Baby Wanna-Be’s. No sooner had they climbed out and closed the doors, a bubbly brunette bounces over to them. 

“Hey guys, you look great! And wow, your Baby is GORGEOUS! What’s her name?” She claps a hand over her mouth in dismay. “Oh, of course, I shouldn’t assume gender. What’s your Baby’s name?” 

Dean’s lips part but nothing comes out, at a loss for words - then, “Baby.” 

The bouncy brunette blinks, then nods, the smile returning. “Uh, great! Awesome!” She extends her hand. “I’m Brittany, and this is my girl, Gertrude,” indicating the Impala parked next to them. 

Dean has to admit - Gertrude is in great shape. “Hi, Brittany, I”m De… Dan.” He passes an admiring gaze over the car. “She’s beautiful.” 

Brittany blushes fiercely. “Thank you so much! She’s my pride and joy.” 

Dean can’t help but grin - he gets it. “I know how you feel.” He starts toward the car, his interest piqued now.

Cas grabs his elbow. “Dean… uh, DAN,” he stammers. “We should order our food first.” 

“Oh, right! Of course.” He turns back to Brittany. “Give us a moment? We’re starving.” 

Brittany nods like her head is on a swivel. “OH of course! We’re not going anyway, go feed your boyfriend!” She turns back to Gertrude and strikes up a conversation with another couple. 

They make their way to the order counter with no further distractions and order their food, both choosing the “Dick’s Deluxe” with fries and milkshakes, then wander over to the group of Impala owners. 

By the time their food is ready, Dean is genuinely surprised at how much fun he’s actually having - the Impala owners are friendly and really know their cars, the pride of ownership evident - and Dean can’t help but respect that. However, they of course are also just as fanatical about Chuck’s books, which Dean struggles to hide his discomfort with. 

As they head back to the counter to pick up their food, Dean turns to Cas. “I dunno about all this, Cas - they’re really into Chuck’s books and they have no idea what a tool he was.” His head drops with a sigh. “Should we tell them?” 

“No, Dean.” Cas looks back over his shoulder at the group, their laughter and happy voices carrying across the parking lot. “They’re happy; the books have brought them together, given them friendship - a family, even.”  He shakes his head. ‘Chuck used those words to manipulate you, but they have no power over you - over US - anymore. This way, they serve a good purpose.” 

Dean blinks - he hadn’t thought of it that way. Of course Cas is right. 

“Yeah... and look at all the sweet rides that came from them!” 

                                                ~~~ *** ~~~

They gather their food order and head back to say their goodbyes, but the group appear to be packing up anyway - trunks being closed and coolers returned to their backseats. 

Davis approaches them. “Hey guys… we’re about to head out, but we’re only going over to Golden Gardens Park to watch the sunset and hang out around the fire pits. You’re welcome to join.” He nudges Dean with his elbow. “The group’s really taken a shine to you,” he says with a bright grin, “and your Baby, of course.” 

Dean turns to Cas, throwing an arm over his shoulder. “Whadda ya say, sweetheart? Our first sunset…” he shakes the bag of food in his other hand, “and dinner on the West Coast?” 

“I would love to, Dean.” Cas’ eyes are bright, his smile soft and warm and Dean really wants to kiss him right now, but… company.

“Adorable,” Davis says, hands clasped in delight. “I love how you two stay so in character.” 

                                                  ~~~ *** ~~~

The last rays of the sun slip behind the Olympic Mountains, but Dean is watching Cas watch the sunset. 

He’ll never get tired of the look of wonder on Cas’ face when he experiences new things. 

Or for that matter, the sounds he makes, either. Listening to him moan through that admittedly fantastic burger was downright pornographic. 

He places a hand on Cas’ fire-warmed cheek and turns him away from the dimming horizon.

Damn the company. He’s gonna kiss his boyfriend.

He tastes the salt from the fries, the sharp vinegar of the pickles, the rich savory flavor of the burger, the lingering sweetness of the milkshake. 

He tastes the unique flavor of Cas and relishes it. 

Cas threads his fingers into the hair at the back of Dean’s neck and tilts his head just so and oh, it’s so, so good. 

He hears a few giggles and more than a couple “awws” and pays them no mind. 

He’s way too busy thinking about a completely different type of sweet ride.

[devilatmydoor]

love is fatal I part 7

a/n; im so sorry it took me over two weeks to write this, i kept rewriting parts of it due to the cold hard mistress that is writers block! i hope you are well mind, body and soul. 

let me know what you think in the tags, my ask or dm me if you’d like! if you’d like to be added to the taglist, let me know!  💜

word count; 4.7k+

warnings; drug/alcohol mention, angst, swearing, hints of smut 

previous parts 

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6 

The smell of her perfume engulfed his lungs as he held her cool body against his, her skin soft as it brushed his. He quickly grabbed his phone so he could order Chipotle for them, once he finished his arms were wrapped around her waist pulling her closer. His eyes met hers as she smiled at him, “Cal?”

He hummed and smiled as he looked in her eyes, “Yes baby?” 

She blushed, “I’m sorry I was a bitch to you for almost 2 months.” 

“Veronica, you’re an enigma.” He defended before resting his free hand on her cheek before he softly kissed her lips. She smiled against his lips as she placed her hand on his chest. Her lips were soft as he softly nibbled on her bottom lip. 

“Oh baby, those kisses of yours.” She purred as she kissed his lips softly. 

“You should talk pretty girl.” He purred as he laid on his side and laid on top of her as he wrapped his arms around her waist. He nuzzled his head in her neck, “This okay baby?”

She giggled as she ran her hands over his back, “Of course. Relax, your muscles are so tense.” Her hands gently massaged his shoulders. 

He sighed before kissing her neck, “That feels amazing” He relaxed as she massaged his sore shoulders and back, releasing the tension he’s been feeling for weeks. She ran her fingers through his curls as he closed his eyes and slowly drifted off. 

His eyes opened when he heard the doorbell, Veronica shifted underneath him, “I’ll be right back, I’m gonna get our food.”

He moved so she could get out from under him as he laid on his back while he sleepily watched her leave his room. The silence didn’t last long as the tone in Veronica’s voice changed dramatically, his eyes shot open as he shuffled to grab his boxers. He left his room and walked down the hallway. 

“Modeling clearly isn’t working out for you if you’re delivering food at 1AM at your ex-boyfriends house.” She yelled as he got closer to see Eleanor standing across from her. 

“I-uh.” Eleanor stuttered as her gaze was fixed on Veronica. He stayed away from Eleanor’s view unless Veronica needed him.

“You���re literally the female version of Joe Goldberg.” She spat as she crossed her arms. 

“I need to talk to him.” Eleanor insisted as Veronica stood in the way so she couldn’t get inside. 

“You need to leave. He doesn’t want to talk to you anymore.” She demanded as her voice cracked from yelling. 

“Let me hear it from him, I don’t believe you.” Eleanor faltered as she tried to get past Veronica. 

“You don’t believe the girl who’s in his shirt? We were having an amazing time until you showed up and attempted to ruin it. Leave before I call the cops.” She argued as she stood closer to her. 

“Why can’t I talk to him?” Eleanor asked as she moved away from Veronica. 

“He’s tried to talk to you and you don’t listen. He is trying to move on with his life. Something you should be doing instead of showing up at your ex's house at 1 AM like the pathetic bitch you are.” She snapped as she moved out of the way so she could successfully slam the door. She shook her head and turned around to see him staring at her, “Oh god, did you hear all of that?”

“I did, c’mere pretty girl.” He stretched his arms out as she walked up to him and he wrapped his arms around her waist as her arms wrapped around his neck, “No one has ever stood up for me like that. Thank you.” He mused smiling at her. 

“I couldn’t help it, she was here at the worst time and she needs to move on.” She expressed as she kissed his cheek. 

“She does. Thank god you were here. You went off on her.” He chuckled before kissing her nose and pressing his forehead against hers. 

She giggled, “She had it coming! I’m here baby, I’m not going anywhere. Especially with chipotle on the way.” She teased him and  his head nuzzled in her neck as she massaged his scalp moments before their food arrived. 

___

The light from the sun peeked through his dark curtains as he opened his eyes to see her sleeping next to him. Her hand resting on his shoulder as his arm wrapped around her, he kissed the top of her head and her eyes slowly fluttered open. Her blue eyes met his, “Morning beautiful.” His voice groggy as he smiled. 

She smiled sleepily. “Morning handsome. How did you sleep?” 

“Amazingly, how’d you sleep?” He winked as he softly squeezed her closer. 

She squealed softly before pulling him over her as he hugged her waist, “I did have this really amazing man cuddling with me all night.” She mused as she rubbed his back softly. 

“Oh yeah? Tell me more about him.” He joked as he sighed in relief, her hands massaging his shoulders. 

“He’s very sexy, including his morning voice. He went all out last night, kept kissing me every chance he got.” She said with a smile.

“It’s not my fault your lips are the best.” He mused as he kissed her forehead. 

“I’m convinced yours are.” She purred as she ran her fingers through his bed head. 

“Oh these?” He chuckled before kissing her forehead, nose, both cheeks, her lips repeatedly while they both giggled. 

“Yes those.” She breathed as she looked in his eyes while he nuzzled his face in her neck and kissed her neck softly before relaxing all of his weight on her. She giggled and pretended to lose her breath, “I knew you were huge but damn Calum.” 

He turned red as he looked in her eyes, she winked at him as he chuckled in response, “You’re hilarious Ronnie.”

“Aren’t I?” She shook her head as she held his face in his hands, the cool sensation of her thumb running over his thumb right before her soft lips kissed his nose. He felt his cheeks flush as he couldn’t help but smile at her. 

“Can I make you breakfast?” He asked as he propped himself on his elbows. 

“You have to ask? Can I help?” She asked as she fluttered her eyelashes at him. 

“Of course pretty girl.” He mused as he climbed off of her and she followed him. He grabbed her hand as their fingers intertwined walking down his hallway. They walked into the kitchen as he slowly let go of her hand and walked to the fridge, “How do blueberry pancakes sound?” 

“I love blueberry pancakes.” She smiled as she walked over to the Keurig and grabbed a mug, “M’gonna make you some coffee babe.”

“Thanks baby” He smiled as he grabbed ingredients from the fridge and cupboard to make pancakes. He set everything he needed down before grabbing a bowl. 

“Cal?” She asked as she leaned against the counter top watching him as he added dry ingredients in the bowl. 

 “Yes baby?” He asked as he looked at her, her smile immediately making him smile. 

“Can I plan our second date? I’ve already got an idea.” She blushed before she started helping Calum mix the wet ingredients in the bowl. 

“Oh you do now?” He raised his eyebrows as he grabbed a skillet for the pancakes. 

“I do, I had a feeling our first date was going to go off without a hitch.” She smiled as she watched him. 

She wasn’t wrong; leading up to the date he was a nervous wreck trying to think of outfits to wear and how it was going to pan out. It went far better than he expected, it wasn’t awkward like most dates went, it was effortless. 

“What’s your plan pretty girl?” He asked as he wrapped his arm around her. She poured pancake mix on the skillet. 

“It’s a surprise.” She giggled before kissing his cheek, “We will need to use the truck you used last night. I didn’t think you were a pick up truck owner.” She smiled as she flipped the pancakes over. 

“I’ve had it for years, I got it when I first moved here. Our date wouldn’t have worked with a Harley Davidson.” He blushed kissing the top of her head. 

Her eyes widened as her eyebrows raised, “You own a Harley? I’ve never rode on a Harley.” She gushed as she grabbed a plate from his cupboard 

To say he was shocked that she had rode on a motorcycle was an understatement, he didn’t know she was into motorcycles. “I do, I can take you home on it if you want.”

“Oh my god I’d love that, my dad is gonna be pissed.” She beamed. 

“Why's that angel? Because your boyfriend is taking you home on a motorcycle?” He asked, realizing what he just said. He called himself her boyfriend only after their first date, something he’s never done. His throat dry like sandpaper while his heart raced awaiting her reply. 

“No, because he owns a Ducati. He’ll call me a traitor.” She winked as she poured pancake mix on the skillet. 

He laughed it off pretending he didn’t have a minor heart attack over calling himself her boyfriend too soon, “The cutest traitor.” 

She blushed as they finished making pancakes. They sat in his living room with the T.V as background noise, her legs resting on his lap as they ate pancakes and she refused to tell him about their next date. He gave up after she invited him to Grayson and her party on Saturday, two days after their second date. He knew he was working on Saturday but he figured he’d just go home and change before attending. They finished eating and they both got dressed in order for him to drop Veronica at her house. He led her to the garage and opened the door, paying attention to her reaction to his bike as they stepped further inside. A small gasp escaped her lips as she looked at the bike and then at him, her eyes darting from him to the bike repeatedly. 

“C’mon pretty girl, let's get you home.” He chuckled as he walked with her to his bike. He handed her his extra helmet as she smiled. She put it on at the same time he put hers on. He climbed on his bike and she followed sitting behind him, her arms wrapping tightly around his chest. It had been a while since he had a girl on the back of his motorcycle. He rarely had someone ride his motorcycle with him, it was his pride and joy. 

As he reached her house he slowed down and went to her driveway. He parked his motorcycle as her arms left his chest. She took off the helmet and he took off his in response, he got off of his bike showing her where to put the other helmet. “This is fancy.” She smiled as she put the helmet in the compartment in the back of his bike. 

“Most bikes have these.” He cooed as he grabbed her hand, their fingers laced instantaneously as she blushed. 

“Clearly I paid a lot of attention to my dad’s bike.” She teased as he grabbed his keys before walking with her towards the front door. 

“Obviously.” He chuckled while he grabbed her hand and kissed it softly. As they got closer to her front door he didn’t want to let go of her hand. He squeezed it softly before she leaned against the front door. 

He pressed his body against hers as he used his free hand to rest on her hip, his lips slowly ghosted over her soft lips. Her lips met him in a soft and slow kiss, her free hand on his shoulder as their tongues slowly massaged one anothers. Her lips left him long enough to breathe out, “Do I have to go to work?” 

He chuckled against her lips before kissing them softly, “Wish you didn’t have too pretty girl, I could spend the rest of the day kissing you.”

She blushed as her soft lips kissed his “I’d prefer that over working.” She mused as she kissed his nose. 

“I know pretty girl, before you know it we’ll be on our 2nd date.” He mused as he cupped her face, his thumb caressing her cheek. 

“That’s four days away.” She sighed before giving him her puppy eyes. Batting her eyelashes and all.

His heart skipped a beat as he looked at her, “I know, but you gotta work baby. I need to go home and work on some artwork for clients.” He admitted sighing. 

“Oh fine.” She sighed deeply as he chuckled, her hand leaving his shoulder as she dug through her clutch for her keys. She dangled them in his face before turning around completely shaking her ass at him. 

He shook his head before softly smacking her ass, “You are such a tease.” She shook her ass again and he softly growled before gripping it, “Stop teasing me pretty girl. You don’t want to know what happens when you tease me relentlessly.” 

“How are you so sure I’m not teasing you like this to see what you’ll do?” She giggled at the same time as she turned the lock in her front door. She winked at him before stepping away from his grasp. He raised his eyebrows at her. 

“I’m not but I am positive you’ll find out.” He purred as she winked at him. 

“I’m sure I will, bye boyfriend. I’ll see you Thursday.” She smiled before blowing him a kiss.  

She definitely just called him boyfriend. He smiled as he waved, “Bye girlfriend.” He winked as he walked away from her doorstep grinning from ear to ear. How he was going to make it 4 days without seeing her was beyond him. Two months ago he didn’t even want to see her twice in one week. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, he grabbed it from his pocket and unlocked his phone to see a text from her. 

* * * * * 

Sitting in her car waiting for Luke to finish parking Calum’s truck she clicked on her On Repeat spotify playlists. Helena by My Chemical Romance played as Luke walked towards her car, the rolled the window down and yelled “Get in loser we’re going shopping!” 

He giggled as he opened the door and sat in the chair, “Okay Emo Regina George, where to?”

She giggled hearing his laugh she missed, “Rodeo Drive” She teased as she pulled out of park and started to drive. 

He chuckled and shook his head, “Pfft. Where are we really going?” 

“Where we’re going we don’t need roads.” She giggled as she made her way to the nearest liquor store.

“Ronnie, are you high or something?” He asked as he grabbed her phone. 

“No Lukey, why?” She answered his question with another while she turned the corner. 

“You’re quoting movies and giggling.” He stated as he changed the music. 

“I’m in a good mood! We’re finally hanging out!” She expressed as she pulled into the parking lot. 

“But I’ve never seen you this giggly before, this doesn’t have to do with my roommate does it?” He questioned as she parked her car.

She hadn’t been this happy in weeks, months even and she knew exactly why; Calum. When she first met him he drove her insane, he challenged her every chance he could. She was used to guys calling her a bitch and moving on but he wasn’t like that. It sounded so cliche but he was unlike any man she’s ever met. There was no doubt in her mind that he was the most attractive man she’s ever dated. He went from being sensual in every way to being cuddly and wanting kisses. 

Her cheeks turned pink as she looked in Luke’s eyes, “I mean.. He might have something to do with it.” 

“You two are so stubborn.” Luke expressed as he took his seat-belt off as she took hers off. 

“You love us.” She winked as she grabbed her phone and put it in her purse. 

He jokingly sighed as he smiled. “I do?” 

They both got out of the car before she locked it, they walked towards the liquor store, “Why are we shopping for alcohol when it’s technically Grayson’s pool party?”

“It’s technically my pool and my house.” She pointed out as he opened the door for her, she stepped inside as he followed behind her. 

“This party will be my first time at your house and Calum’s already been there multiple times.” He huffed as they looked around. 

“Your eyes are green again, you have no reason to be jealous.” She raised her eyebrows as she went to grab a basket. She walked over to where Luke was, she giggled as he grabbed a bottle of tequila. 

“How many times have you seen Calum in the span of 2 weeks vs me?” He mentioned as he put the bottle in the basket. 

“Calum was staying with me! We went on one date and I slept over, you weren’t even at the house when I slept over!” She urged as she grabbed Captain Morgan Spiced Rum 

“I was at Ashton’s, I needed to sleep since I was working in the morning.” He tested as he grabbed a 12 pack of White Claw. 

“You drink White Claw?” She asked as she grabbed a bottle of Grey Goose Vodka and a bottle of Sveda Peach vodka. 

“Sometimes, it’s mainly for your boyfriend.!” He explained as his eyes widened. 

She giggled assuming Luke was teasing but he wasn’t, “Calum drinks White Claw?”

“That’s what I said dork.” He teased as they walked further in the store and she reached for 50ML bottles of bourbon, vodka, whiskey, gin, schnapps and pink whitney. 

She giggled, “Are you ready? I have everything on the list.” She explained as she looked at him. 

 “I had no idea you’re an alcoholic.” He winked as they walked to the register. 

“Says the guy with 4 different kinds of liquor in his fridge.” She teased as she set everything on the counter, saying hi to the cashier. 

“I’m not the one with a beer fridge in her garage!” He giggled as he waited for her. 

Of course Calum had told him about their fridge in the garage with liquor, it was Grayson’s idea so he kept it stocked with her occasional wines. “That’s Graysons!” She gasped as she finished her transaction. She grabbed her bag and thanked the cashier. She waited for Luke as he was giggling at her reaction. They walked to her car as if they hadn’t spent almost 2 weeks away from seeing each other.

* * * * * * 

“Are you coming back here after your date?” Luke pressed as he ran his fingers through his hair before putting it in a bun. 

“Mate, I don’t even know what we’re even doing tonight, let alone what's happening after.” He explained as he tucked in his tank top before buttoning his shirt. 

“Right. Cal I know you, I slept at Ashton’s after your first date. I don’t see this time being any different.” Luke scolded as he crossed his arms. 

“You asked if you should and I said it wouldn’t be a bad idea. I’m not dating her because the sex is great- which it is.” He cleared his throat, “She means more to me than that. I wish you didn’t see it that way.” He stated as he grabbed his leather jacket. 

“I didn’t mean it like that, I just care about her. She told me about her ex, he really hurt her.” Luke expressed as he sat down on the couch. 

Veronica hadn’t told him everything about her ex except for the fact that he lived in Boston and she still talked to his parents. He didn’t want to bombard her with questions about him, he waited for her to tell him when she was ready. “I know you do. I don’t want to hurt her.” 

“Then don’t.” Luke pointed out immediately before the doorbell rang. 

He grabbed the roses he bought for her and walked to the door anxious to see what she had planned. He opened the door to see her dressed in a printed skirt with a cropped white tank top and jean jacket. “Calum you didn’t need to get me flowers.” She breathed as her eyes met his. 

“I did angel, I know they aren’t black but I know how much you love roses.” He purred as he handed them to her before stepping outside and closing the door behind him. 

“How did you know I loved roses?” She asked as her eyebrows furrowed. 

“I lived with you for a week and a half, you got new roses when the old ones would wilt.” He smiled as he handed her the roses, she grabbed them before kissing his cheek. 

“You noticed that?” She giggled as she linked arms with him and walked towards his truck. 

“How could I not? One day there would be yellow roses and the next they’d be pink.” He winked as he walked with her. 

“My grandma always had roses in her house so I wanted to emulate that when I got my house.” She explained as she grabbed the keys out of her pocket. 

“I love that. Want me to drive?” He asked already knowing the answer. 

“Not a chance Hood, you aren’t finding out what we're doing that easily.” She smiled as she unlocked the truck and he shook his head. 

“Alright pretty girl, you can drive.” He chuckled as she walked away from him to the driver's side. He walked to the passenger side and got in after she sat down. 

His hand rested on her thigh as she drove to the mystery spot, music playing softly in the background as he tried to guess what they were doing and miserably failing. 

“We’re almost there and it will be obvious what we’re doing so I’m gonna tell you,” She took a deep breath before looking at him, “There’s a theater that shows older movies and tonight The Goonies is playing” 

“An outdoor theater?” He asked confused why else they’d need the truck. 

She nodded as they reached closer, “Mhm. I’ve always wanted to go on a date like this but no one took me on special and elaborate dates until you.”

“It wasn’t that elaborate angel.” He cooed as she drove up to the ticketing kiosk.

“Two tickets please?” She asked as she grabbed her wallet and he attempted to take it from her and she playfully smacked his hand.

“Ronnie.” He said sternly as she giggled and grabbed his hand and kissed it. 

She grabbed the tickets and winked, “Cal.” She drove into the parking lot. She drove to the back as she backed the truck so the front of the car was facing the opposite direction of the screen. 

“How are we supposed to see the movie if we’re facing this way?” He asked instantly, feeling like an idiot. 

“We’re gonna be extra as fuck and watch the movie in the floor-bed” She giggled as he took off his seat-belt. 

He chuckled as she took her seat belt off, “How extra are we?” 

“Let me show you.” She smiled and climbed out of the car. 

He got out and walked to the back of the car where she was standing, she moved the covering over the floor bed to show a mattress with blankets. “You did all of this for us?” 

“I was nervous and when I’m nervous I go over the top.” Using his own words against him he couldn’t help but laugh. He kissed her forehead before pulling her close. 

“You’ve got jokes huh Braden?” He gently squeezed her as she squealed in response. 

“Mhmm, there's more.” She quipped as she let him to the back seat. She opened the back door before showing him the pillows and snacks she brought. 

“When you mean extra, you mean it.” He teased as he helped her bring the pillows to the back as she carried the snacks. He climbed on the mattress and set the pillows down before she climbed on the mattress. 

She set down the bag of snacks as he sat down on the bed while she brought out bags of chips, oreos and candy. 

“Anything you didn’t bring?” He teased as he motioned her to sit down. 

She sat down next to him and kissed his cheek, “Popcorn.” She giggled and he held her close as they got comfortable for the movie. She took her jacket before the movie started and draped a blanket over the both of them. 

As the movie started, he couldn’t keep his eyes off of her. She was more interesting then the movie; she’d quote it and giggle at her favorite parts while singing along to the music. His hand found home on her thighs while he subconsciously traced circles on her soft skin. As he attempted to watch the movie while his thumb traced continuous circles, Veronica turned her body to face his an she bit her bottom lip, “Calum.” 

He smiled when his eyes met hers, “Yes Ronnie?”

She moved to straddle his hips as he held her waist, “Hi.” 

He giggled as he kissed her lips softly, “Hi gorgeous, is my lap more comfortable than the mattress?” 

She shook her head and giggled as her fingertips softly touched the moles on his face, “You touching me like that was making me feel a certain type of way.” 

She winked as she kissed his jaw, he softly moaned as she kissed his neck. His hands moved under her skirt as he moved his hands closer to her heat. She moaned as his thumbs traced circles in her inner thighs, “This baby?” He breathed as she nodded in agreement while her lips ghosted over his sweet spot. 

His eyes fluttered shut as her lips softly sucked on his skin, her teeth softly nipping long enough to leave a mark. He softly gripped her ass as she moaned and looked in his eyes, “Baby.”

“Use your words pretty girl.” He purred as the sound of his hand smacking her ass was louder than expected.

She gasped as she looked in his eyes, “Leave it to you to turn me on during the Goonies.” 

His eyebrows raised as he felt her damp panties, “You’re soaking baby. I’ve got an idea, do you trust me?” 

She nodded as he looped his fingers on the waistband of her panties and slowly moved them down her thighs. She grabbed a blanket and threw them over them, he unzipped his pants as his hand reached for his cock. Her hands replaced his as he searched his pockets for his wallet. 

“Fuck! I forgot my wallet.” He whispered as his eyes met hers, her hands pumping his hard cock. 

He moaned as she bit her lip, “I have an IUD.” She whispered as she smiled, he watched her as she lined herself up before he teased her wet folds with his tip using her wetness to lube him up. 

He let out a breathy moan as he felt her walls clench around him, “Fuck baby.” 

She adjusts herself as before going all the way down his length, she moaned his name “O-Oh my god.” She breathed as his eyes met hers. 

“You okay pretty girl?” He asked afraid he had done something wrong. 

“I’m more than okay.” She beamed before her lips met his in a slow and sensual kiss, her hands gripping his arms. 

_____

He stepped out of the bathroom in just his boxers as he mentally facepalmed himself for leaving his clothes in Veronica’s room. He walked past Grayson’s empty bedroom towards the kitchen. As he got further into the kitchen he saw someone standing by the island that he didn’t recognize the woman who was looking him up and down. The way she looked at him, eyes wide and eyebrows raised made it clear she wasn’t expecting to see him in just his boxers, or at all for that matter.

“Who are you?” He asked as he walked up to the fridge passing her by, she looked familiar in a way he couldn’t explain. 

“I was going to ask you the same thing.” She spat as she crossed her arms. He recognized her tone and body language before Veronica stepped in. 

“Mom?” Veronica yelled as she got into the kitchen carrying her laundry. 

“Veronica! Care to tell me who the half naked man in your house is?” She questioned as Veronica scoffed. 

t a g l i s t-   @pxrxmoore​  @sublimehood​ @talkfastromance4​ @ghostoflrh​ @calumscalm​ @mellifluoushood​ @calumthomcs​ @twilightmomentswithyou​ @boytoynamedcalum​​ @ohhmuke​​ @calswildflower​​ @highscal​​ @sanrioluke​​ @softlrh​​ @flowers-on-the-graves​​ @currentlyupcalsass​​ @clemmings​​ @tirednotflirting​​ @highfivecalum​​ @wastelandcth​ @idivedeeperforyou​ @feliznavidaddycal​ @tpwkcal​ @icyicejuice​ @notinthesameguey​

[im-the-punk-who]

For the writing ask: LOVE!!!!!

...laynie.....lay--laynie. Laynie.

OKAY BUT LIKE. you realize love is literally all i write about so strap in.

Restraint of Beasts(Beauty and the beast au) SO MANY LOVE:

1) It’s not, and they both know it. The Hamiltons are dead, but James still feels like he’s missing half of his soul. Still feels the jagged edges where Thomas’ love had been. 

2) Falling in love again. He’s almost ashamed it took recognizing Miranda to see James. 

3) “Because I love you.” 

“The man you love is dead already, Thomas.”

“No, he is not,” he argues before James can finish the thought. “The man I love is the one who I have spent the last months learning from, talking with, and falling in love with, all over again even before I knew it was you. James - I will love you in whatever form you take. There is nothing to forgive between us.” He hopes he can reach James. 

4) If his are the last words James hears, he needs him to know that Thomas loves him - even as he is now. Even who he thinks he has become, James needs to know that Thomas still thinks him worthy of love.

5) “I’m not sure. The curse, possibly.” James says, his face coming to rest firmly against Thomas’ neck. “I love you.”

6) “But then - Thomas - what you said to me. About not being ashamed to love me as I was. I felt ... I believed in that moment that if you could love me still, that perhaps I was not beyond return.”

7) “You’ve always been much too hard on yourself when love is involved,” Miranda says to him, and he can hear the sadness in her words.

8) James looks again towards Thomas as he speaks. “My truest love. Please tell me you’ve learnt better.”

Doubting Thomas: (THIS WORD APPEARS SIX TIMES IN THE NEXT TWO CHAPTERS ALONE AND NINETEEN IN THE WHOLE DOCUMENT OKAY LAYNIE ARE YOU HAPPY.)

1) “James.” The name comes out of him as Robert turns, the final farewell to a once loved sound. “His name is James McGraw.” Robert smiles again.

2) “There has never been anything run-of-the-mill about you, love, but I would like clarification on this sodomite bit.”

3) His hair is starting to grow back in, it no longer prickles when rubbed the wrong direction and he loves the feeling of the short, soft strands through his fingers.

4) “have I told you, recently, that you are the most wonderful person I have ever met and that I love you more than should be physically possible?”

 5) If they were free, this could be a place he loves again.

6) When James laughs the sun catches in his beard and newly regrown hair and there is an easiness to it all that fills Thomas to bursting with love, and pride, and joy.

Post finale drabble where thomas said he was too old to start trying to find love again:

“Are you sure it wouldn’t be easier if we parted ways? You can’t possibly still love me -knowing everything I’ve done. It-” Thomas cuts him off with a gentle finger to his lips.

“I still love you. And I will continue to love you through everything. I’m aware I don’t know everything and I am also aware you have done some things you find entirely reprehensible. I’m not saying they aren’t. Simply that I will love you through them.”

---

“Besides,” Thomas continues, but a soft smile is breaking out on his face. “It took me so long to find you again, my truest love. My joints creak, I’ll have grey hair soon. My mind is tired of fighting. I’m too old to start all over again.”

From the one where James has the nightmare about Thomas:

She tries not to begrudge him for it. Whatever her own feelings for Thomas, or his for her, Thomas had completely transformed James - first with his love and then with his death. 

She thinks about Thomas again, about the years she had with him. They were good. Never enough, but good. Filled with love and laughter and a kind of steadfast compassion that was singularly thomas’ gift to the world.

From the second bit of “As If God Did Not Exist”:

He’s had infatuations, before. Both men and women, he’s fashioned himself a bit in love with a person, or the idea of them.

From a fic in the college professors au entitled “Ice Cream Social”:

“Yes all right Prince Charming, so what are you going to say to James when he gets here that makes him fall madly in love wit-”

How many times am i legally allowed  to use the word love in one fic? At least once more, apparently. (Bottom of the River):

1) Nevermind the fact that James is the only person besides Miranda who has ever managed to talk him out of the worst of his ideas, the thought of sending this man that he loves far away just after they’ve found each other makes his throat close up.

2) “Of course not. At least, not for the reason you’re thinking. I’m beyond happy that the two men I love are also fond of each other.”

3) “I noticed there doesn’t seem to be any love lost between the two of them.”

4) “I don’t harbor any illusions that you could forgive me for what happened to you. But - James I still love you. I will love you no matter who or what you’ve become, until the last breath I take. I was - well. I suppose I was hoping that might be enough to warrant a place at your side, if not in your bed.”

HAVE I MENTIONED YET THAT THOMAS WOULD LOVE JAMES NO MATTER WHAT NOT BECAUSE HE FORGIVES HIM OR BECAUSE WHAT JAMES DID ISN’T TERRIBLE BUT BECAUSE HE BELIEVES THAT LOVE ISN’T DEPENDENT ON FORGIVENESS BUT INSTEAD ON A MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING AND APPRECIATION OF THE OTHER PERSON.

[worldcakecakecake]

Feliciano and the King of Hearts

Chosen by the gods as the Queen of Hearts from the moment of birth,  we follow Feliciano’s story as he grows into royal life, learns to rule,  go against age old customs, and his relationship with his husband to  be, the King of Hearts.

Chapter 1 I  Chapter 2 I Chapter 3 I Chapter 4 I Chapter 5 I Chapter 6I Chapter 7 I Chapter 8 IChapter 9I Chapter 10I Chapter 11I Chapter 12 I Chapter 13 I Chapter 14 I Chapter 15 I Chapter 16 I Chapter 17 I Chapter 18 I Chapter 19I Chapter 20 I Chapter 21 I Chapter 22 I Chapter 23 I Chapter 24 I Chapter 25 I Chapter 26 I Chapter 27 I Chapter 28I Chapter 29 I Chapter 30 I Chapter 31 I Chapter 32 I Chapter 33 I Chapter 34 I Chapter 35 I Chapter 36 I Chapter 37I chapter 38 I Chapter 39 I Chapter 40 I Chapter 41 I Chapter 42 I Chapter 43 I Chapter 44 I Chapter 45 I Chapter 46I Chapter 47 I Chapter 48 I Chapter 49 I Chapter 50 I Chapter 51 I Chapter 52 I Chapter 53 I Chapter 54 I Chapter 55 I Chapter 56 I Chapter 57 I Chapter 58 I Chapter 59 I Chapter 60I Chapter 61 I Chapter 62 I Chapter 63 I Chapter 64  I Chapter 65 I Chapter 66 I Chapter 67 I Chapter 68  I Chapter 69 I Chapter 70 I Chapter 71 I Chapter 72 I Chapter 73 I Chapter 74 I Chapter 75 I Chapter 76

                                                   Chapter 77

Timoteo had passed on to the third realm, one evening while they were enjoying from some homemade gelato from Galdi. The angels didn’t have to explain anything, with their approach, both just knew. Timoteo tearfully had to say his goodbye, and Feliciano gave him a tightening hug, wishing him the best journey, comfort with the Aces and a good cycle into reincarnation. Timoteo hoped that he could find the four stances, that he could have the universal alignment, save Ludwig and their world.

 He was taken into the most darkened path that day…and Feliciano hasn’t seen him since. New people came, others continued to leave on, yet Feliciano didn’t find another person with who he could share a good connection as he did with Timoteo.

 He spent his times lonely, thinking and plotting. In one part, it was thinking words for what the four stances could be. He took to writing them on a hidden wall, carved with the little magic he had allowed himself to use. He had a hundred and fifty written, reading them over and over, trying to find the proper pair to the kingdoms.

 In another part, it was wondering how he could get Ludwig back. Yes, he knew where was…but he didn’t know how to get him out from there. The only way he could think of…had the chance of destroying him as well.

 Then…the point and focus of everything…how was he going to use all of this to defeat Khaos.

 He would groan and lay his head in defeat every night, more dejected each time he returned to the Galdi household. He had a corner there to himself, to try and pretend rest, sometimes sketch or wonder on answers. It was also the same place of reunion and planning, always someone there to plan the next event. He didn’t mind it, it actually helped to ease him if his mind was in too much turmoil, the speech always enough to lull him to sleep.

 For the weeks that passed, that was his routine. This night in particular, he arrived to three ladies chatting joyously over the table. They were too festive, smiling and laughing in a way that Feliciano just couldn’t ignore. He let the smiles spread to him too as he tried to peek over, Giulia covering the parchment before Feliciano could read out something definitely.

 “What are you doing?” She asked playfully.

 “The real question is,” here Feliciano took a chair to join them in their sitting, “what are you three doing?”

 Giulia sighed as the other two gave approval to let him know. “You do sleep here, so we can’t really hide anything well.”

 “Not to mention you always get loud.”

 The other chuckled while Giulia glared. “Very well, your majesty. We are making preparation for this month’s square festival!”

 “Already? It’s only been-”

 “In a couple of days…it will actually be a month since the last one,” one reminded.

 “Only…a couple of days…” Feliciano was startled, silenced into realizing how much time had passed…his time in the second realm almost over. The stress was evident, the girls having to speak on to keep Feliciano from succumbing to it.

 “You know…this is a pretty private and very tight group…the island just doesn’t let anybody work on the preparations,” one smug, earning just the right playfulness to arise in Feliciano.

 “Really?”

 “Yep! Not even…Queens of Hearts or…whatever!”

 “You three have been here pretty much the same time as I have. What deeds have you done to be granted such tittles?” Feliciano chuckled.

 “Bossiness, surely,” one admitted, Giulia gasping in insult, earning large laughs in the room.

 “Feliciano, we’re only messing around. Come, sit with us, I’m sure you’ll have a lot of great ideas to add.”

 Feliciano sighed…debating if to indeed give to this while he had a wall he was carving that needed more words…a space that needed more thought…all while a ravaging war was taking apart his world. He shouldn’t indulge…he should be…but this was a chance to be creative, a moment of his past, to do well and grant these people a day of joy…for many their last before they pass on…including his own. He was persuaded for happiness, taking a pen, and looking through the list, adding or adjusting, chatting along with the ladies like the worst turmoil wasn’t happening.

 So focused he was…sometimes he would forget to go to the wall, all those thoughts on stressful words vanishing in his excitement for feast. He joyed in these coming days, trying fabrics of heavenly approach, foods of the delicacy of his old world and company of gold. It was like this world had become his, under this spell that made him forget all, dancing and laughing all the excessiveness he couldn’t on those last months of sorrow. And oh what a feast, what playful aura that made him even join the children in running all across the square, being part of that very image of dream that had welcomed him the first time he came here. Many toasted and danced, congratulating Feliciano on his part of the celebration. Truly a pride that reigned him as he ran and skipped all throughout with all the splendor of his people. Nothing could extinguish this, nothing could-

 “My sun, my moon, my land, my love…”

 The tune disturbed all, the melancholy of a woman reigning strong despite the felicity in this square.

 “Wha-what?” Feliciano awoke along with what felt like a strong hit on the head. But in his awakening, he could only focus on where this song was coming from. No one seemed disturbed, they all went along in their enjoyment.

 “…the sky has all fallen…”

 There it was again, no one heard it, no one reacted, only he startled and searched for anyone in the crowd who could be shouting it.

 “…the kingdom weeps their king’s farewell…”

 He had to look for it, he had to know where it was coming from, what it was, who it could be. What if they had answers? What if they could say more to the meaning of this song that had haunted him for so long without explanation or story? What if it was Augusta? Romulus? No matter, he settled off, in confusion to the children, halting their game wandering where the Queen was going, deep in the streets of their town, away from this jubilation.

 “…and a queen breaks at her lover’s parting again…”

 It yet continued to sing seeming to come from every corner, but no matter how quick Feliciano tried to reach it, it was gone, back to trying to reach its distance, ever moving and evasive.

 “…but in your defend, all will join and fight for our future…”

 Feliciano was growing out of breath, he was frustrating and ready to shout out. “Where are you…where are you?” He ended up whispering to himself as he rounded another empty corner. Nothing yet showed itself, but he knew the coming lines to be the last, to be the end.

 “…so the heavens will bless in your rest our perfect peace…”

 “No…” and just like that, the melody was gone, as if it was never there, the silence he met at this edge of the island haunting. Feliciano wanted to burst in this miss…what he thought a closeness to an answer…an answer…oh no, the answer! He groaned realizing the wasted time, reminded of a mission that he laid forgotten, forcing his hand unto his eyes to somehow keep the tears that wanted to flood.

 How could he just let it all fall? Go on and ignore that his world needed him.

 Something, something, there had to be something he could do quick, in whatever time was left, in whatever- someone was coming. Out from the distance…small, no details to be clear yet, a very entrance like the one he had made when he first arrived. He had thought only one…but then he saw a second, a third, a fourth…many…many began to come forward.

 “What…” he whispered to no one but himself…trying to make sense, wondering who they could be and what was their meaning. Feliciano walked slightly forward, standing on the waters as they walked toward, Feliciano distinguishing their realm gifted wear, Heartian, Italian…they were all passing spirits, newly arrived here. There were countless, spreading across like something large had been spilled over, even the sailors and rowers finding difficulty to move between them. They were all lost, wondering, trembling, some held hands, some comforted and felt in that welcoming bliss, others only decided to follow the person who was most ahead, a woman who had been transfixed by the form of the island, her pace quickening the more details she noticed. And then…there was the Heartian Queen, standing singularly, present and still as the majesty of a fresco in a church. That was the pulse that rushed her forward, ignorant to all as she stood before him, trying to believe him there, baffled, stuttering, yet her entire being showcasing questions.

 “Sua Maestà,” in the end was the only thing she could say, trembling and eyes watered…betrayed.

 Feliciano took her hands, comforting and trying to instill the trust she had lost and the welcome he could give. They stood in silence together, for Feliciano had no words, and the ones he had were nothing worth of an apology that she could forgive.

 He decided on asking, bracing for the blame, but an answer he needed. “What is going on? Why are so many of you here? What has happened?” Despite so many, Feliciano told them in ease, careful, his hold still as dear as he awaited.

 The woman breathed, remembering with pain to then answer: “Destro is in Italy.”

 Feliciano startled and trembled, a suddenness that could have dropped him to the floor if it wasn’t for the hold the woman kept. He was shivered with a cutting pain, as if the reckoning told in those simple words was scratching on his skin.

 “What…? No! Last time I was there, he was…he was still in Clubs, only reaching the Heartian border…the defend should have been good…he shouldn’t have reached Italy…he shouldn’t have-”

 “But he has!” She ended up shouting. “Your majesty…you have been gone for more than a month and in that time Destro has swarmed the entire southern Hearts Kingdom. Greece, Iberia, Croatia and Turkey are all gone! Italy was well on its way to join the rest. They’re evacuating people to Scandinavia in the hopes it can remain the last stronghold…but it has not been quick enough…” she gazed to all there…those who didn’t have time…didn’t have the right defend or the soldiers weren’t enough. “I know there has been calls to evacuate Germany…for when Italy falls…”

 “…he’ll be in Germany…he’ll reach Berlin…”

 “In a matter of days!”

 Heavy breathing, a storming realization, turning away to handle these strong words of his world, his home, his kingdom, his cities, dead or on the verge of dying. More the weight of his duty pressed on, blaming, shouting at his incapability of avoiding this. His province, his people, dying, and soon his family and even his body in the castle will be ready to be engulfed in true finality.

  All, no matter how far the threat still remained, could feel the rumble, hear the screeches and even smell the smoke that was coming to their reach.

 “Everyone out?” Lukas asked who the inhabitants of this beautiful red building had been. Bricks of old, red flowers coating well its gorgeous façade…it hurt to know that soon it will be gone.

 “Yes, that’s all,” a man came to take the lantern Lukas offered, one infused with strong protective spells that would cover the group he was granted.

 “You may follow the rest. Keep with everyone, stay with a hold on your loved ones and chosen belongings. You will leave the city walking but transport might come to those who are sick and weakened. Keep faith! Scandinavia will be the refuge we need,” Lukas repeated once again…and once again the people only responded with a darkened nod, turning, dejected, looking more like they were walking to an end than actual safety. They began to join with other groups, each shinning with their own red lantern, the only color…everything else just seemed to blacken and grey with the miss of its people leaving, left to the demise of  the wrath of a monster.

 “All this street is empty,” Tino announced, hurrying to Lukas’s side.

 “How is João dealing with the roundabout of Prenzlauer?”

 “There’s still three buildings with inhabitants deciding what they should bring with them, even with the insistence. Not to mention they are running out of lanterns.”

 “I’ll let Abasi know we need his people to make more. You go and help João. We’ll see what we can do about Mitte afterwards.” And they rushed off between the large masses of movement, with carriages, others crying and refusing, and the bright red lights.

 Up from the heights of the castle, Renata and Arthur looked as a plentitude headed off through the northern route, between hills away to the safety they hoped Scandinavia could remain. The red lights alighted them, a shield they hoped was enough to stand and protect them all. They could see only small parts of the city remained and how they hoped they hurried.

 There was a far-off blow, a large cloud arising to the sky, mixed with red, flashes of white, and then a shriek that had Arthur and Renata leaning down and covering their ears. From the smoke, they could see but a small image, still vanquishing the outskirts of the city, but the fact that they could now see Destro from the comfort of the castle was provoking and fearing.

 “Ready to start formation!” Herakles came hollering, heavy breaths and panic clear. Renata would never get over the new scars of war on him, so much petrified shout in the expression she had met and knew as calm and comforting.

 “Then go and start!” Arthur shouted, exasperated, shaking and surely ready to fall apart if it wasn’t for the fact that he was being counted on as a big part of the formation. They all began to leave, joining Herakles in his hurriedness.

 “Has Augustino been taken out of the castle?”

 “I’m sorry to inform that he is still here,” Herakles refused to look back, focused on getting them through the halls.

 “What? He should already be out of the city!”

 “He denies everything. He has shouted, cried, even began hitting some of the caretakers. Right now, he refuses to leave Antonio and Lovino’s side.”

 “They can’t accept to leave him here!”

 “But they had made their decision.”

 “No! Absolutely not!”

 “They’re-!” By now Herakles turned to this distant aunt of his, Renata seeing now clearer than ever the reddened veins in his eyes, seeming to pierce at his sight. “-they’re…still hoping Feliciano can come through.” There was a tremor, the castle shaking, some stone cracking and dust falling upon them, but yet they continued this exchange as if nothing, standing and menacing. “Feliciano is supposed to be entering the third realm today and tomorrow we have to awaken him, with or without the power of the alignment. No matter what happens, tomorrow is the decisive point that will tell us if we will all survive or die. No matter what, Antonio and Lovino had come to the decision that they will remain and face whatever happens with their son in their arms…better here than dying somewhere he doesn’t recognize or without his family.” And Herakles was off before Renata gave more to the discussion…to the realization that this was the reality, this was the last resort, the last place.

 She gazed down to her hand still glowing pink, now cracking more in age as it was hitting its toll. Oh…how she hoped Feliciano had found something…that he could come be their savior tomorrow at the evening that was planned to arise him.

 She couldn’t stand there longer…she had her place in the formation and she had to hurry to it, as everyone around her did.

 Soldiers, from all over the kingdom, even others, kept a standing outside the castle, gaze focused and ready to inflict at the first spot of Destro. Many already had their weapons up, some already had magic blazing in their hands and others practiced commands. The interior of the castle was propped with all kinds of defenses, having no other choice but to have offered servants aiding in the guardship and defense. They too, had old weapons pointed, had to practice spells they never thought they would one day use and many of the household leaders were practicing their shouts in harsh war command.

 Renata reached the pool, the royals and other chosen servants as well with their own positioning and weapons.

 The last stance, the last wall before Feliciano, still suspended in the water, the body beginning to look cold, colors vanishing.

 “Renata, you stay at the very back with your family!” Wang Yao shouted, all moving aside to give her place. It was with her husband, her son, his husband, and her little Augustino, well cradled in all their holds, scared, trembling and crying, but despite this, despite the bruises, the scars, the traumas, the three older men kept their own tightening on their weapons, knowing that if they were to go, they were to go with a try in fight. Renata found her place in the huddle, holding them all dear as if they were to say goodbye now.

 “Remember to keep faith still! We have a day! We have to believe Feliciano can come tomorrow with exactly what we need!” Kandake reminded to all in a chant, yet coated in fear as they moved back, as if Destro was in the very castle finding his way between to reach right to them. It seemed like it was the actuality with this new shake the ground took. Yet no messenger came as it was meant to be planned. They still had a chance to keep their ground, together and strong.

  The stances… the stances… he had to know the stances now! What if he wrote all the words somehow? What if he brought them with him? Maybe he could convince…something or someone in the third or fourth realm. Perhaps reading them all aloud, shouting, tearing, crying…it was when he noticed he was heaving and shaking to this new group that came.

 “Sua Maestà,” one tried to reach and comfort.

 “I have to…I have to…” his mind still went on in a reverie, stuck in the need and desperation. It was with the touch of this nearing man that he was made aware of his standing and who stood by him.

 No…despite everything he had to help these people, he had to get them settled. If there was something he could do, if he was abled, he could push through, he could go on with his duty even at the worst heaviness.

 “Please, all of you, follow me. You are now in a safe place. There is currently a feast that I’m sure all would love for your part in it. Come, come with me!” He hurried, keeping himself kind and offering, one all could follow, fall finally into the ease and beauty of this place, more so as they traversed these enchanting alleys, reaching the alight of the square and what it was offering. It could have been a joy, could have been the welcome that all there knew they had to give to all the new that came…but then after one, came two, came four, came six, that alley Feliciano came from bursting with a large array of people that easily soured and planted worry in all. Nevertheless, many came to offer their welcome, but also to ask, to fret, the square in the end turning to a place of worry and agitations.

 “Feliciano, what’s going on?” Giulia came, demanding and shocked.

 “Destro was in Italy.”

 “What?!” She already settled in the hysteria of all, some who heard in the surrounding joining her as well in the disarray.

 Feliciano shushed and tried to soothe her to even breathing, “we can’t let ourselves panic now. Focus on helping others calm, answer their questions to the best of your ability and help them settle like is the norm!”

 She managed to find her peace, nodding, and already settling on what she considered the command of a queen. It was enough now to keep everything at bay, all distracted in the conversation to really notice how Feliciano was slowly moving away. He had some time, he had some peace and loneliness, he could head that instant, memorize all the words, find a way to write, find a way, find a way- what was supposed to be his leap was cut by the large presence of an angel.

 “Oh! You’re here! Good! These people need a lot of help to settle. Please, more angels must come and-”

 “I’m not here for them.”

 Feliciano dropped.

 “You shouldn’t worry, my brethren will come to do their part, but my own…is to take you to the next step. Please…come with me.”

 And like this his time was cut short…he was to say goodbye, he was supposed to go to the last steps of this process and yet he felt empty, incapable to face the reserve, still with questions and wonderings on how exactly he could obtain this. For a moment he wondered on fighting. He still possessed power, he was an Ace, Augusta’s chosen, he could… he stared to the potence of this angel, tall, shinning, armored and with a spear that could well stand at any fight. These angels were chosen to keep well a balance in death that Feliciano knew, by nature, he had to head to…as his grandmother created. With a nod, trying to calm whatever anguishes boiled in him, he decided to follow.

 As all others, Feliciano was brought to one of the many alleys, moving on and on in its depths like this was but any other stroll he had taken to think of words for stances. The angel at one point moved behind him, and Feliciano, still confused by where he should go, settled on only moving forward unless the angel spoke a word. On and on everything moved around him, but no difference, no portal, no transport to the next realm.

 “The third realm is only a hall, shaped by the magic that lays between all worlds. Once there, you should focus on only moving ahead, no matter what occurs around you.”

 “What…what happens?” Feliciano thought he could ask.

 “You transform. You take an image granted by the Aces, for what is to be your spirit and soul in the heavens. It is granted in attacks that might seem like they are to hurt you, but they are indeed only changing you. Do not worry, no matter how harsh or intimidating it seems, it is not meant to cause any harm.” Silence befell, still the same walls and canal at his side. “Your only there a matter of minutes, alone, and on your own you find the entrance into the fourth realm.”

 “How long am I there then?”

 “It is different for everybody. In your case, I assume not long, perhaps only a day or even a couple of hours. If you are meant to return to the living world…you can’t pass the gates to the heavens. If you do, the connection to your body is severed and you can never return.”

 The street began to get as grim as the words, Feliciano shivering.

 The angel’s step suddenly halted, Feliciano’s own stopping in question. The angel then pointed to the canal, which began to ripple and produce an image downward. It darkened, away from the aquamarine waters Feliciano had gotten to know in his stay. It was a tunnel, under the water with a pathway that Feliciano didn’t know if he could walk upon. The angel motioned for him to step forward, commanding and defending so he wouldn’t try any escape. Feliciano was obedient, nodding and beginning a hesitant step into the canal, his feet sinking into the water, but not as deep as shown.

 The ground came to him like a ramp, leading him deeper into this darkened tunnel that slowly enveloped him unto the next stage.