#my poor baby bird deserves so much better dude
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trashogram · 6 months ago
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If I were Octavia, and I learned that the parents I thought were in love and wanted me actually hated each other this whole time and only had me because it was an obligation, I’d be devastated and traumatized.
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8uggestionamplifie6 · 3 years ago
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I've been thinking. Would Anakin and Padme actually be good parents?????
Like, think about this realistically.
Anakin already has a kark ton of problems. For one, he does NOT know how to love unpossessively. Two, he is already super controlling and kinda toxic(?).
If he leaves the Jedi Order to be with Padme and the twins, he would never learn the difference between attachment and love.
(And yes there is a freaking difference. Love is when you care about someone to the point where you want them to be happy, even if it's not with you. Attachment is when you 'love' someone so much that you can't stand the thought of that person being with someone else that isn't you. There is a very clear difference. Even George Lucas said it in a few interviews.)
Like, I'm pretty sure Obi-Wan tried to teach Anakin the difference, but Anakin just never understood it or didn't want to accept it. Anakin wasn't raised in the Temple. He wasn't taught Jedi beliefs and the difference between love and attachment on a daily basis by the creche masters. Instead, he had been freed from slavery, separated from his mother, Qui-Gon got killed, and he experienced a MASSIVE culture shock once he was accepted into the Temple, and he had been paired with an (although good) unwilling master AKA Obi-Wan who only accepted Anakin as his student because of Qui-Gon's final words.
Yes, I know, they do eventually develop an actual strong relationship, but the main reason Obi-Wan fought for Anakin to become his padawan in the first place was because of Qui-Gon. The only reason why Anakin was even accepted into the Order was because of Qui-Gon and later, Obi-Wan's insistence to keep his promise to Qui-Gon.
(Also? Really Qui-Gon? You had nothing to say to your Padawan who was basically your son? Even when you appeared in the Clone Wars, you hardly even cared about Obi-Wan, you just obsessing over Anakin. Like, I get that he's the 'Chosen One' or whatever, but I don't care. You don't treat your apprentice/son like that. And then you had the audacity to force a guilty and crying Obi-Wan who was holding your dying body to promise to train Anakin Skywalker, who Obi-Wan didn't even like for that matter? Like? Bish, you ungrateful nerfherder.)
As I said, Anakin doesn't understand how to love like securely and non-possessively. He was probably taught it by Obi-Wan and the rest of the Jedi, but that information clearly went through one ear and straight out the other.
Maybe Anakin would be a good parent for the first few years of Leia and Luke's lives, but the moment puberty hits? BAM! Helicopter parent right there!
This mainly concerns Leia because in Anakin's mind, she's a girl, she's not a trained force-sensitive, so she can't protect herself, and she's HIS daughter, she shouldn't do this or that, she can't have this or that. She can't have male friends, she can't hang out with any guys, etc. Because Anakin doesn't want Leia to not spend time with him or not be there constantly. He's controlling and he wants to control her life. Like I said, she is HIS daughter, not her own person (scroll all the way to the bottom for an explanation). He'd likely refuse to let Leia go to any parties, talk to any boys, or even have a basic social life.
Things might be a little different for Luke. Anakin might not be as controlling but will still be controlling to some degree.
Moreover, Padme would NOT reign him in or even stop him. She's already shown in AOTC and ROTS that she is perfectly willing to make excuses for any and all of Anakin's bad terrible decisions even though the evidence is right there in front of her face.
Like, she seriously tryna make me believe that killing a ton of innocent people in the Tusken village is good? Sure, maybe SOME of them might have deserved it, but all of them? No, they didn't, especially not the poor innocent kids. Like, Padme, is you good in thy head or not? You ain't see no red flags?🚩🚩🚩 anybody?
Also, in ROTS, she knows that Anakin is fully capable and willing to kill innocent people if he believes someone he loves is in danger/dead, but when Obi-Wan tells her what Anakin did in the Temple to the Younglings, she tryna act all slick like, "I don't be knowing what you talkin about", even though she clearly does. She seen Anakin confess what he did to the Tuskens and now she tryna lie? And on her death bed, she tryna convince me and Obi-Wan that Darth Vader is still good, like, did the dude NOT just strangle you and kill a bunch of innocent people?
I may be dumb, but I'm not THAT dumb, okay? I understand what murder is. Anakin just straight up shanked all of the Jedi in the Temple with the 501st.
Like, bruh, I get you smart and all, Padme, and you a senator and all, but I don't know if have any more brain cells than I do money when it comes to Anakin. And I have 0 dollars right now.
So, like, no, I don't think Padme would stop Anakin in the slightest. She'd probably make more excuses for him, like "that's how he shows his love for you" or "just get over it, Leia" or even "he's your father, let him do what he wants".
In short, the freaking helicopter parenting would continue and Luke and Leia are gonna be trapped because they ain't no trained Jedi. They can't do shit and they are still minors.
Leia/Luke might even run away from home or even Fall (*extreme case**very extreme and unlikely but still possible*) 'cause they are force-sensitive y'know.
Freaking Court might even get involved. Some lawyers might also be called up. Luke and Leia better make sure to dial the numbers of some therapists for their parents, too, and also maybe a mind healer. Neither of your parents are straight in their heads.
Anyways, none of yall gotta agree with me 'cause this is just my opinion, but at least look at it from my point of view first before you hate on me in the comments. Like, I really hope that Anakin and Padme would be good parents but I just don't see it working out (????).
I hghly recommend this fanfic for any interested reader. It explains the problems of helicopter parenting from Anakin very nicely, so please read it. Also, please read some of the comments.
There's more!!! ⬇️⬇️⬇️
Let me share something:
"A desperate parent hovers; a good parent guides."
Every parent needs to learn to let go of their kids eventually. The kids are going to leave the nest sooner or later and the parent needs to understand this.
Maybe, during the first 15 years or so, the parent can hover, but once that kid starts wanting to be independent, you gotta start giving that kid some space.
Like a bird, they gotta spread their wings and they can't do that if they stay cooped up in the nest for the rest of their lives. No baby bird is gonna fly immediately after they gain their wings and feathers. They gotta stretch them out first, do a few practice runs, and then they'll finally know how to fly.
Same thing for your kids. If they want independence but you know that they can't handle it yet, just give it to them. They gotta learn somehow. They gotta practice. And you just gotta be there to catch them if they fall.
You can stop hovering and instead start guiding. Because your son/daughter isn't just YOUR child anymore—they're becoming their own person and you need to realize and accept that. They're becoming an adult and your equal, so you gotta stop treating them like they're just your kid. Bc they're both your kid and their own person and you gotta realize that.
You can't keep your kids in the nest forever. Sooner or later, they're gonna rebel against your hovering and they'll cut you out of their lives bc you're being a toxic influence on them and they know it. Then, despite all your desperate hovering to keep your kids safe and in the nest, YOU are going to be the reason why your kids don't want you in their lives anymore.
You just gotta let go.
Yes, you can hover like a desperate parent for the first ten and a half years of your kids' lives, but eventually you're gonna have to stop doing that. Because they aren't dumb ten year olds anymore that need your constant hovering. Now they're teens and now they're adults who are experiencing the real world.
And the only thing you can do is accept that your kid has grown up. Or they will grow up. Or they are growing up.
You just need to cross the line from hovering to guiding.
You gotta let go of the bike sometime and let your kid ride on their own without the training wheels.
You just gotta cross that line. Maybe it'll be a little hard, but when was parenting ever easy? I know that it'll hurt to have to let your kids go, but you just gotta trust them.
You have already spent the last nearly two decades loving them, caring for them, and teaching them all you know. You just have to hope that they'll keep your lessons and teachings close to their hearts and that they'll listen to the occasional advice or two.
You just gotta trust your kid and your parenting skills, and cross that line.
Your son/daughter has become their own person. And the only thing you can do is be there for them, be ready to support them, be ready to give some of your wisdom, and trust that they'll succeed.
For helicopter parents, however, they never cross that line between hovering and guiding, and I'm not sure Anakin would be able to either.
#star wars#sw anakin#anakin skywalker#padme lives au#padme amidala#leia skywalker#luke skywalker#Im not sure if anakin and padme would be good parents#like its possible but realistically? I dont think theyd be good parents#like anakin will probably be kicked out of the order (because he married a senator AS A JEDI and didn’t think to leave)#he just ruined the Order's stance on remaining neutral bc now people are gonna ask if they were neutral to naboo#the political ramifications for it is insane so check out my account bc i got a post about it#anakin would likely never learn how to love UNpossessivly and become a helicopter parent#and padme wouldnt stop him because . she already make a shit ton of excuses for him in aotc when anakin#murks innocent CHILDREN and she's like <; he JUST MURDERED PEOPLE AND ITS OK????#padme is an enabler for the most part and i know she would not stop anakin if he became a helicopter parent when she already doesn't care#leia and luke would grow up in such a toxic environment#yes you dont have to agree but just think about it logically#anakin already don't know how to love securely/unpossessively and if he leaves the Order#he still aint gonna learn and padme aint gonna reign him in#i feel so bad for luke and leia. at least in OT they had good parents#Bail is Best Dad^tm#Obi-Wan you gotta sue this couple and take them kids away. You Bail and Breha can keep'em. Y'all better at being parents#which is weird cause none ya got kids but thats okay luke and leia can be your kids#obi wan kenobi
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opes-magnas · 4 years ago
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『 as lonely as time can get. 』
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It’s finally here!! I’m a terribly slow writer, and am really thankful to all those who waited for this! Hopefully you enjoy. Thank you so much to @hamjjy, @kaavijournals and Lady L for beta reading this, you guys are the best!
Listen to this playlist here for the best experience!
tw: cursing, body sensitivity, very subtle idea of anxiety and toxic relationships are portrayed.
~calypso <3
I. the moon can't shine on her own.
She looks serene tonight - high up in the night sky, not a single star to accompany her. Does the moon feel lonely like that? Does she ever need a warm hug? Perhaps she gets one from the sun, and he accompanies her all time. Does the sun shine for her? So that the world can see her beauty? Perhaps so. When she can't see him, she turns bloody red; she seems disturbed. Hurt. Lost. Her fury always frightened the humans. It made them shiver inside their homes, praying to see the familiar ball of light rise from the east to calm her down. Perhaps it is better if they could only see her beauty. But does that mean the sun shines, not to show her beauty, but to protect the humans from her true self? Perhaps so.
The sun and the moon are a pair. And they will continue to be.
As long as the moon can't shine on her own.
Let's stop thinking, Luna.
The moon seems lonely.
I look up at the clock. A red, metallic light tells me its 3:48 am, 3rd April. Great, now I can have four shots of espresso for breakfast. Thank you, oh great mind, for deciding that we needed to have that conversation earlier. I sit up on the bed and rub my eyes. The curtain flutters from the soft wind blowing in through the window. Cicadas fill up the silence as I look at the full moon illuminating my room another time. Oh, how I hate the moon. What a hypocrite. I look away, and my eyes find the pile of open textbooks and spark notes I abandoned. A small smile creeps up my face. At least I'll ace that History test tomorrow. I could imagine the Boba Tea reward from Leo in my hands already. Leo. The annoying kid next door who's been stuck with me since I was five. Don't worry, though. I don't like him. Not anymore. He made it extremely clear that I was 'a size too big' for him. Then why do I still hang out with him? Short answer - I beat him up, he apologized. I shall offer no elaboration. Still, a lump forms in my throat. And maybe because he wasn't completely wrong.
I get up to go grab a glass of water. Mochi is lying in her bed in the hallway. This is the first time she didn't stir awake when I thumped across the room. The poor fluffball of a cat is probably very tired from the bath I forced her into in the evening.
You need to lose a few pounds anyways, Luna. Get rid of those love handles. Maybe some fat on your back too. That'll make people find you more approachable.
It isn't toxic if it's true, right?
That night, I decide that my glass is half-empty rather than full, and go back to bed. Suddenly, Mochi wakes up and runs into my room. She snuggles in and throws her paws on my hair like it's her property. I choose to oblige the demon for today.
The last thing I see before sleep lures me is the clock gleaming '3:59 am'.
/////-----
It's too warm in my blanket. I almost want to peel my skin off. I need to get sleep, I have a test soo- I jolt awake. Mochi is no longer next to me. I assume she's back in the comfort of her bed, considering the temperature in the room. I let out a groan as my hand outstretches to the switchboard. After a few terrible attempts, I finally turn on the ceiling fan. As sleep threatens to take me again, I see that it's still dark out and the moon looks just as annoying as it did earlier, its ever luminant light breaking down the walls of my privacy. My eyes turn to the direction of the clock- 3:48 am, 3rd April. Huh, weird. I realize I must have had one of those five-minute, extra strength-giving, amazing nap- Wait why does the clock say it's 3:48 am?
I grab my phone. The sudden light blinds me for a second, and through squinted eyes I see 3:49 am on the screen. Huh, really weird. Wasn't I awake just now  - err, earlier? Wait what? I realize I make no sense, maybe I just read the time wrong the first time. My brain is repeating the features of the Hammurabi Code, my drowsy eyes are drooping, and I meet slumber once more.
I barely feel Mochi slipping back into my blanket.
/////-----
I wake up in wonder why my alarm hasn't rung yet. The room is still dark, the moon stares at me curiously. Give me some privacy, moon. My eyes turn towards the clock for the third time this night- 3:46 am, 3rd April. Bullshit. I've been asleep for hours now; I won't need those four espresso shots for breakfast anymore. My tongue clicks involuntarily. Is this some sort of a stupid prank? Leo is definitely behind this, I'm going to hunt that dipshit down.
Come to your senses, Luna. The universe cannot prank you. That's impossible. And stupid.
I grab my phone again. An attempt in vain, I realize, when I see the screen displaying the same time. I text Leo.
| loser |
you (3:46 am, 03.04.2021): you awake?  (read) 
loser (3:48 am, 03.04.2021): no
A chill goes down my spine. Did the just relive 3:38 am? I decide to call Leo. Two rings in, I hear a familiar voice, 'I said I wasn't awake.' He sounds tired, voice raspy and strained. You'd think he'd just woken up from the but he's the sort of person who thinks sleep is for the weak. 'Yeah no shit, Sherlock. I'm speaking to your alter ego, Thomas.', I reply.
He decides to ignore my bad retaliation, and saves me from the embarrassment. 'Why is my star pupil awake at 3 in the morning? Has she forgotten about the test she will help me cheat tomorrow?', he asks. Ah, this freeloader. I'm gonna kick his ass. My hands move frantically in the air out of annoyance, 'I am not helping you with anything!', I scream-shout into the phone, afraid I'll wake Mochi up in the hallway. She's a bigger annoyance than Leo; no one in the universe has energy to deal with a grumpy Mochi.
'Honey, you love me.'
'You're being delusional.', I deadpan.
'Is my chubby baby irritated?', he says in a fake cooing voice. And that got me.
'Leo, I did not call you at 3 in the fucking morning for you to put me down.'
The other side of the line immediately goes silent. Silence that reminded me of the last time this happened. Silence between the two of us on a Boba Tea study session in the park after an argument, the only sound being the pages of my sociology textbook being turned, and of the sound of baby birds in a nest nearby. Though I know that Leo meant it as a term of endearment, I couldn't believe he wouldn't ever, well, consider me more than just a friend because of it. A few seconds (sometimes minutes) pass before -
'I'm sorry, Lunie, you know I don't mean it,'
Another apology.
I sigh. I'm tired of this conversation again. I'm tired of having to deal with the same problem again. I'm tired of people putting me down. I'm tired of blaming myself. I'm tired of trying to look pretty. I'm tired of Leo. I'm tired of me. I'm tired of another heartbreak. I know his apology is genuine. I know he doesn't mean it. I know he's just being the Leo he always is. But somehow his words still continue to haunt me. Maybe it's because it's coming from someone who means to me the most, coming from someone who brightens me up, like the sun does to the moon.  Then why am I the only one taking it seriously? Why am I trying to fit into someone else's standards? Why am I so painfully aware of everything but still choosing to be blind?
Why am I not able to love myself even though I want to?
'Luna? You there?', his voice breaks me from my train of thought. Weirdly, he sounds quite scared. 'I didn't realize how much it bothers you, I swear I won-'
Mochi jumps onto the bed and snuggles into my head again, paws in a similar place in my hair. A weird sense of Deja vu washes over me again. And then-
『 pop! the world has reset.』
My eyes opened in fear as a gasp escapes my mouth. I'm sitting on my bed, trying to comprehend what just happened. The curtains flutter with the wind blowing by. The moon stares in curiosity. My phone's on the bedside table. The clock gleams with a bright '3:01 am' displayed on it. And the problem is that I wasn't dreaming, and I wasn't mistaking the time either.
I'm in a time loop.
II. a tub fills with water only to spill it.
I fucking hate whoever wrote Groundhog Day.
Like who decided that? Who decided to say 'Hey, let's make a movie based on time loops!'? 'Let's make a dude live the same day all over again till he gets it right! Let's make him really happy, then really sad!'
Son, I'm this close to pulling an Ides of March on you.
I seem to be looping every hour, more specifically from three in the morning to four. Five hours have passed by, but my clock tells me it's precisely 3:18 am. Great. My dearly detested friend, the moon, is my only companion in this war with time (sorry Mochi). In the five hours that should have gone by, I have accomplished the following:
Two and a half hours of sleep - though I wake up when the clock resets.
Half an hour of revision for that History test I need to write after I get out of this shit.
Thirty minutes of planning a workout, Fifteen minutes of Yoga.
Five minutes of trash talking the moon, Ten minutes of dealing with grumpy Mochi who woke up as I exercised.
Thirty minutes of wondering if Leo's looping with me, and
Half an hour of figuring out what went wrong, and how to make the night perfect.
I don't know how much longer I'll be able to remember anymore. I've tried everything - making notes, scribbling on the wall, writing on myself, engraving things on desk - but none of them seem to make it through when the loop resets. I'm too tired to talk to Leo, knowing very well that he would definitely not believe me. And partly because I'm afraid I'll lose my temper and get hurt again. I'm afraid I'll end up being the insecure bad guy, and he doesn't deserve that. He deserves someone better. Someone who's prettier, kinder and happier. Not telling him for the time being also meant that I'll never find out if he was looping with me. But that probably isn't the case, the universe is cruel for a reason. This is perhaps its punishment for me. I must go through this alone.  No one's ever been by my side anyways.
I'm as lonely as the moon.
/////-----
Another few hours pass. The pop between every reset scares me lesser and lesser. But my desperation to return back to normal is growing. I've been trying to figure out what went wrong for the past hour in the neighbourhood park. The cold air  perfectly paired up with the mint chocolate chip ice cream in my hands. Was it me staying awake this long? Should I have just gone to sleep?  There must have been something I did wrong that hour. My heart wishes to call Leo and confide in him. And the more time goes by, the more my mind wishes to oblige to that crazy request.
I pull out my phone, which gleams a bright '3:58 am'. It's almost time for the reset. In two minutes, I'll be magically transported back to my bed. I sigh. I can't take living the same hour again. The hour grips my sanity like it is a play toy. I waste another countless moment wondering where I went wrong.
『 pop! the world has reset.』
Well, I guess there's no place like home. I wonder if Mochi was worried the previous hour when she didn't find me in the bed. Do cats feel worry for their owners? Does Mochi care for me? What kind of a disgusting ship is this? Cringe, cringe, cringe. Shut up, Luna. I bury my nonsensical idea of my cat showing me love for once in the deep pits of my mind, and pretend I never thought of such blasphemy. I shift under my blankets, and decide to sleep through this hour, foolishly hoping that the reset would never take place if I was never awake, though I woke up when the clock reset each time earlier. My eyes look at the clock - 3:05 am.
That's when doorbell suddenly rang. I launch up in surprise. This didn't happen before. My heart begins to pound extremely hard, my head hazed in confusion. I run towards the door as quickly as possible stirring Mochi awake in the process, and fling it open.
It's Leo. And he's in tears.
His eyes are filled with fear, breath unsteady. Beads of sweat line his neck as he tries to get words out. Leo grips my hands tightly, as though he wants me to hold him and tell him it was going to be okay. This hasn't happened in a very long time. He's gotten a much better hold on his anxiety in the past few years. I pull him into a hug and mutter words of comfort. His head is leaning on mine, and his breath slows. I tell him we'd be alright, and hum a calming tune. And we stay like that for the next five minutes.  
'Luna,', Leo whispers into the night. 'Would you believe me if I told you something crazy?'
'Like what?'
'Like a war against the clock.'
And that's when I knew. Tears start brimming in my eyes as I give out a sigh of relief. 'Like a time loop?', I say as I hug Leo a little tighter. This time I needed one to remind me I wasn't alone. He seems to catch on as well, a sob escapes from him as he melts in. We stay in each other's arms, in each other's comfort - a place where walls were deaf to all the shared secrets, a sanctuary with no limits.
Oh, what I'd do to protect it.
Leo pulls away, his eyes disappear and his lips form into a sheepish grin. His face is puffy from all the crying, but it glows in the soft moonlight. My eyes widen in surprise as he grabs my hand and drags me out the door. I manage to see the clock on the kitchen counter gleaming with a bright '3:15 am.' before blood rushed to my face upon meeting the cold air.
'Where are we going? Are yo- ah it's fucking cold out here!', I complain.
'Ice Cream.' Classic hungry Leo. This boy is a demon.
iii. the twilight hour.
'What's wrong with you?!', I huff as I bend down to catch my breath and hide myself under a tree. Leo, on the other hand, is breathing quite easy, a stupid grin plastered on his face (oh, how I want to punch him). His hands hold up a bag with three tubs of mint chocolate Ice Cream like they're the greatest creation of God. 'Did you really have to steal Ice Cream?! Are you five?', I say as I recall the incident that just took place, how Leo basically ran out the convenience store with the sweet goodies without paying and left me, his dear, penniless (and only) friend as the bait to a potential flat-earther of a cashier (long story, don't ask).
And now we're here, the park I was in the previous hour. There's not a single soul around. The only companion being the moon once again. His smile shines through like the sun, however.
'I'm rweally sowwy, delulu,', he retorts.
'My name is Luna, and no one can ever be as delusional as you, you dill hole.', I say, my ears red.
'Good now, I shalt promoteth thee to 'Deluna'. Thee has't been felicitat'd.'
I click my lips in annoyance. I know quite well that when the clock resets, all the stolen Ice Cream would be back in the freezer. But I try my best to maintain a straight face to show my discontent. That's right Luna, assert your fucking dominance. I notice that his hazel eyes shining with the mischief I'm used to once again. He's back to the loud, obnoxious and teasing Leo he's always been. Leo who's carefree, Leo who's horribly reckless, Leo who finds happiness in uncertainty. My Leo. My lips slowly curl into a smile, and I give in. He's happy, and that makes me happy too. Leo suddenly pulls out his phone.
'Look here, Partner in time.', he says cheekily.  I hear a click. My brows wring into discomfort and confusion.
'What? You look pretty in the moonlight.', he states without skipping a beat. There's a million tugs in my stomach, and blood rushes to my bronze skin. Butterflies soon turn into more sinister as I remember our conversation on the phone earlier. My face falls, if only this boy knew what he puts me through. First I'm not good enough, and now I'm pretty? Does he really throw around stuff like that without giving it a second thought? Does he not realize all that he's putting me through?
This is pointless. My feelings for him are pointless. The amount of time I waste on this is pointless. 'Our friendship is pointless.', I say. Regret follows immediately. Leo's face turns grim too; an unreadable expression plastered on his face. I suddenly remember something I jotted down my sociology textbook.
words left unspoken, my hearts screams, my head's in pain, we are in conflict.
Tears well up in my eyes again. This is a conflict, the most peaceful one at that. Terrifying. One that makes you curl into a ball and wish you never existed. One fueled by guilt, by insecurity, by ignorance. I remember the rest of the poem.
one of us was meant to get hurt, almost as though the heavens proclaimed it, on the day of creation. the celestial sky cried tears of gold, for it knew fate was cruel, but humans are crueler.
My hands are getting colder. My breath is hitching as my sobs get louder. Leo rushes towards me and tries to pull me into another hug. As much as I try to resist, he pulls me into his embrace. Fear devours my heart as I realize how I didn't feel at home anymore. I knew this sanctuary was going to break sooner or later. My heart is sick. It pains far too much as it beats in his embrace. Will it stop if I pull away? I try.
It does.
'Luna, what's wrong?!', Leo asks, truly afraid of what was happening.
'Us, Leo. Us.', I reply, voice barely a notch away from a whisper.
'What's wrong with us? We're Leo and Luna! You're the other half of thi-'
'Stop. Please.', I say firmly. My head feels too heavy, my heart too light. The moon shines down on me in its disgusting glory. I can't take it anymore. 'You're the reason I hate the moon, Leo. Because you are the sun. You only shine on me to mock me. To make me feel inferior.'  
'What're you talking abou-'
My tongue clicks loudly. 'You're so hypocritical!  You're an asshole who makes me feel like I'm the only one in the world, before throwing me out yourself. You make me feel insecure, Leo. I don't feel like I'm myself with you anymore.', I say, vitriol burning my throat. 'You disregard what I feel for you, because I'm the moon. You outcast me, because I'm the moon. You tie me down.
'You remind me of why I'll never shine on my own.'
I look at Leo. His hazel eyes turned dark, head down in shock. There's not a single drop of water in his eyes. He stands under the moonlight in silence. I can hear my heart palpitating.
'Why do you think the Sun shines, Luna?', he whispers. 'Is it to light the day, or to light the night?', he asks, a little louder this time. I open my mouth to answer.
'It's to light the night, Luna.', he interrupts. He knew I'd say neither. The sun shines for himself. He is selfish.
'The sun sheds it's light, because if it didn't, the moon would never-'
'That's exactly the prob-'
'get to see the world.' I stop midway in confusion. What is he saying?
'The sun shines because he wants the moon to see the world, Luna. He shines because if he didn't, the moon would be lonely. He makes sure to shed the perfect amount of light on her, so that she guides the traveler without scalding them, without making them blind.
'If he never shone, he'd have never have found his other half. The sun would have been just as lonely as the moon would have, Luna. The sun and moon are a pair, not because the moon can't shine on her own, but because they are lonely without each other.', Leo says.
And epiphany struck down like lightning. Leo needs me as much as I need him. He'd be just as lonely as I'd been without him. The moon's identity without the sun hadn't ever been her own. It was due to the sun's light she was herself. The sun made her the moon, and the moon made him the sun. They were inseparable, as destiny willed them to be, for they needed each other. For the sun to shine the brightest, and the moon to give comfort. But all that didn't answer why-
'Why did you say I wasn't enough for you?', I say, reminiscing that day in the park.   I remember picking out a bouquet of purple lilacs after studying a book about plant symbolism in the library. I spent hours trying to make myself look pretty. I spent a lot of time trying to make up my mind. And everything came crashing down.
'Because you deserve more!', Leo says in defeat, fingers brushing into his hair. 'Do you know how much of a loser I am? You deserve a hunk-a-ilicous person, are you really going to settle for a noodle?!', Leo says, gesturing to his lean figure. As sarcastic as his response seemed, he meant every word of what he said. That's just how Leo is.
'Leo, that's exactly how I've been feeling this whole time.' I pull Leo into a hug.  
Leo is no different than I've been my whole life. He's just as insecure and broken as I am, as I've always been. All my life, I'd seen him as a completely different person. We have different hobbies, we have different personalities. But we're still similar in ways that make us, well, us. It's just that our sanctuary needed to break to have it's walls built back stronger. I feel at home again.
'You're more of a sausage though. Alri-ALRIGHT lemme clear up, you're MY sausage okay? The best one in fact, I will use you in all my dishes.', Leo says as I pull out of his embrace and find a stone on the road to attack the disrespectful brat. Leo runs away and makes his way behind the usual Banyan tree at the edge of the park. 'That's literally the worst nickname ever!', I yell as I chase him.
'Mine own dearest sausage I begeth thee to reconsid'r!'
'TRY ME BITCH.'
'Hey, hey wait.', Leo holds down my hands and blocks my attack, and I'm left with no weapon except for the daggers in my eyes I choose to use against him. 'So, what are we now?', he asks.
'We're still Leo and Luna, dumb head.', I say after giving it a thought. Leo opens his mouth to refute, but soon decides against it. I assume he's content with the answer. We were friends, nothing could ever break that. Would we ever be something more? Who knows, maybe we would in the future when we love ourselves a little more, when we're comfortable with who we are, rather than who we're with.
Until then, we are Leo and Luna.
///////------
My eyes flutter open. I am leaning on the trunk of the Banyan tree next to Leo. I find myself in sleepy laughter as I look at his head lodged in between the roots of the tree. And suddenly, I see light in the distance. I immediately wake up from my position near the tree and walk to the edge of its canopy, heart beating in my stomach and look at the sky outside. The dark navy night melts into a light lilac, small streaks of tangerine bordering the the horizon. The birds are beginning to chirp in the trees, though the street lights are still on.
The time loop has stopped.
Meanwhile, Leo had stirred awake. He runs with his eyebrows up in surprise and squeezes the life out of me before his eyes turned dark in fear.
'WE HAVE SCHOOL.', he exclaims. I ignore him, and choose to stare into the sky. I look at the twilight hour. The sun and the moon were side by side, in harmony, like Leo told me. Tears escape my eyes in a sense of accomplishment. I could rest now. I give myself a small hug, and tell myself I'd worked hard. ('LUNA DO YOU REMEMBER THE HAMMURABI CODE.' 'That is not important right now!') The sun rises up, and salvages the few moments he has with the moon. I turn my head to the side and see that the moon looks serene, her light glow slowly fading as she decides to rest too.
But above all, I see that the moon is no longer lonely.
a/n: ahhhh yes if you’ve made it this far, i truly truly appreciate you for reading this, it means a lot to me. the past few days have been a little weird for me, and it took more than just motivation for me to get through writing this. again, thank you to all my beta readers, i really treasure all of you! i’d really love to get an ask about the short story, so if you enjoyed, make sure to send me one! i hope everyone’s staying safe! stay tuned with us because we have another surprise coming soon!
alatcg taglist:  @blue-hairbrush, @kaavijournals, @artbyeloquent, @47crayons, @writing-is-a-martial-art
general writing taglist: @shinesundark, @the-writing-avocado, @raenawrites​
@original-writing​
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bitchybutcher · 3 years ago
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Texts I sent a friend the first time I watched The Boys, Season 2:
-        Gird your loins
-        I’m dying to know more about Black Noir
-        Ugh ffs Homelander smarming about on stage at Translucents funeral
-        It’s an empty box but I suppose how would people know cause invisible corpse
-        WHY IS ANNIE SINGING AT THE INVISIBLE PERVS FUNERAL
-        Aw no straight in with Sad Kevin
-        Oh ok angry drunk Kevin
-        Ugh not these Samaritans Embrace fuckers again
-        Oh Annie. Parroting the company line. I hope she’s gonna fuck them all over
-        SAD HUGHIE OH NO
-        BILLY JOOOOOELLLL
-        Aw Kimiko is learning
-        Her lil smile
-        Oooh Hughie is a liiiiiar
-        Meeting on the subway like a couple shifty teenagers
-        Oh I forgot they microchipped the supes like dogs
-        Oh nooooo young love angst
-        Oh no a Sad Kevin incident
-        Aaaaand he’s been arrested
-        A nice archer bailed him out
-        Omfg the fake Butcher re-enactment
-        Oh do NOT tell me this crazy bastard is gonna drink the frozen breast milk
-        Oh fuck he is
-        What the FUCK, HOMELANDER
-        This visually impaired ninja seems nice
-        That probably means he’s gonna turn out to be a dick
-        OH FUCK
-        Homelander what the fuuuuuck
-        Ok what the shit is happening here in the motel
-        WHAT
-        What the fuuuuuck
-        I – MM is making a dolls house? That’s so cute
-        Oh shit smuggled people
-        Homelander is nuts with power
-        Uhhhh who is Carol and why is she staring at Kevin while he sleeps
-        Finally an archer who is honest about how useless they can be once they run out of arrows
-        Oh noooo are they gonna try brainwash Kevin with homeopathic stuff? And why do they keep offering him Fresca
-        OH FUCK ME NOT ANOTHER RELIGION THING
-        Oh Hughie has grown a pair since last season. Good for him
-        Where’s Butcherrrrrrrr
-        Body gore porn dude is called Gecko that’s too cute a name for him
-        Stormfront seems like fun
-        She’s gonna be pissing off Homelander so much I like her already
-        OH WHAT THE FUCK THE CIA LADYS HEAD EXPLODED
-        I like Stan
-        Giving Homelander the dressing down he needs
-        I know it’s convenient for Toni to wear the padded suit all the time but does Homelander ever wear anything else
-        Oh hiiii Becca I still think you’re a bitch and Butcher deserved better
-        BUTCHERRRRR YASSSSS
-        “Daddy’s home”
-        I’m dead. It’s official.
-        The fuckin smirk and the voice I’m fuckin dead
-        OH NO KEVIN IS TRYING THE CHURCH THING
-        Is he making shroom tea
-        Why is Patton Oswalt voicing Kevin’s gills this is delightful
-        Atrain is awake again that’s not good
-        I’m cracking up at Sad Kevin and his singing gills
-        Homelander is gone way off the deep end oh boy
-        Awwww soft Maeve in the hospital with her girlfriend
-        I want to like Becca but I can’t shake the bad feeling
-        Homelander is a terrible father
-        I mean I know he has no role models to base his parenting on, but yikes
-        It’s like if Scar was raising Simba instead of Mufasa
-        ….are the gang raiding a party city store
-        I love how Frenchie always looks a mix of horrified and amazed whenever Kimiko kills someone
-        AWWW IT’S HER BROTHER YAY
-        Oh shiiiiiiiit
-        Butcher STOP JUST SHOOTING PEOPLE
-        You were right this season is weird
-        I like Kimiko’s brothers bedazzled denim jacket
-        Butcher don’t punch Hughie wtf
-        Starting with Hughie listening to the same song again, nice
-        Butcher is terrible at apologising it’s so cute
-        I’m sorry did Hughie just fall over trying to throw a punch
-        The kid’s a dandelion omg
-        Why are they on a boat? Did Karl just decide “I like being on boats lemme go on a boat”?
-        I see what you mean about Homelander being scary
-        He’s completely insane
-        Why does this storyboard guys shirt say assbinder
-        Chace Crawford is an excessively veiny man
-        BLACK NOIR IS CRYING
-        Or possibly laughing
-        Hard to tell when they have no face
-        Annie actually leaked all the compound V stuff good for her
-        FRENCHIE KISSED HUGHIE
-        Homelander is gonna get this kid killed tryna make him fly
-        Honestly the kid looks more like Hughie
-        OH MY GOD HE PUSHED HIM OFF THE ROOF
-        OH MY SWEET FUCKING JESUS HOMELANDER YOU CAN’T DO THAT
-        Oop there’s the laser eyes
-        Oh Homelander is back at the Tower and freaking Maeve out
-        OH FUCK THE BROTHER IS LOOSE
-        Hughie don’t do it
-        Oh ok I thought he was gonna jump off the boat
-        Kevin and the cult weirdos are up to something
-        Hughie no you don’t call the girl you like crying over Billy Joel lyrics
-        Oh god boyo you don’t then drop the L word in the same voice message!
-        He’s hopeless
-        Oh nooooo Kevin is attacking the boat goddammit Kevin
-        OH FUCK A WHALE
-        For fuck sake Kevin
-        Ewwwww
-        Butcher what the fuck
-        Hughie having a nervous breakdown inside of a whale
-        No but why is Karl so hot covered in blood
-        Actually I didn’t even need to include the blood part of that question
-        Oh boy here we go, the 7 show up to find Sad Kevin crying over spilt whale
-        ….why is Stormfront tryna get all up in Homelander’s ass?? I thought she was cool but now she’s all lemme suck that radioactive dick
-        OH NO
-        Poor Kevin he’s worked so hard to accept his gills and now Homelander has knocked him back down
-        Oooo dear Atrain is having a heart attack again this isn’t good
-        Oh fuck is Hughie gon get caught
-        Oh no it’s Annie it’s ok
-        OH FUCK
-        ANNIE WHY
-        THAT’S YOUR HUGHIE
-        OH MAN KIMIKO’S BROTHER IS BADASS YES SQUASH THE SMUG PRICK
-        Oh I do NOT like Stormfront holy fuckin shit what’s wrong with this woman
-        Poor Kimiko
-        What’s with the random woman talking about calling off her wedding?
-        Why is Frenchie taking drugs
-        FUCK SAKE FRENCHIE DON’T TRY KISS A GIRL WHEN SHE’S GRIEVING
-        What the FUCK is thiiiiis
-        Is he dreaming or is this the shapeshifter tryna stay alive by granting Homelander some sick wish
-        Yikes I feel bad for Doppelganger
-        I am fascinated by whoever and whatever the fuck Black Noir is
-        MM sees right through everyone’s bullshit
-        I feel so bad for Annie
-        Ooooo Atrain getting fired
-        MM having to put up with Hughie and Annie having a we didn’t start the fire singalong 😂
-        Ok who’s in the weird group therapy sesh with these women with strange views on love
-        Vending machine date so cute
-        Omfg ahahahaha the girl with the Ed Sheeran tattoo
-        I really want to like Becca cause she stands up to Homelander but I can’t shake the suspicions about her
-        I feel bad for Butcher
-        Homelander is a scary good liar
-        Oh shit interviewer lady is pulling out the diversity questions
-        OH FUCK
-        HE’S OUTED MAEVE
-        Poor Maeve what the fuck
-        Ugh Stormfront
-        Shut your racist hole bitch
-        Oh shit Kimiko on the warpath
-        Frenchie! Kimiko listen to him he’s tryna help
-        MM is doing a lotta sharing this episode
-        Ohhhh something bad is gonna come out about this Liberty lady they’re looking for oh fuck
-        Wait WHAT. STORMFRONT IS LIBERTY
-        Stormfront is like 70????
-        She’s really good with social media for an old bird
-        Ohhh fuck Homelander is pisssssssssed
-        Christ you’d know Homelander was an only child
-        Bitch you better not be fucking Butcher over
-        I FUCKIN KNEW IT
-        BECCA YOU RAGING BITCH
-        Got her goodbye fuck then called the supercops on him cause he’s a little broken? FUCK BECCA
-        Oh no Annie don’t give Hughie the “we can’t do this” talk
-        Pick your emo ass up and stop being melodramatic
-        All these women are chatting to Kevin?? Why??
-        Also this most recent one is super weird
-        THEY WERE INTERVIEWING TO BE KEVINS WIFE
-        This cult thing is so fuckin weird omfg
-        KEVIN GET YOUR SAD BUTT OUT OF THE CULT
-        Oh gross not the Doppelganger shit again
-        Doppelganger is really bad at flirting
-        ….
-        WHAT THE SHIT
-        Nonononono don’t do the selfcest
-        Not even Homelander is that fucked up
-        This is super weird
-        Why is Homelander crying
-        OH SHIT HE KILLED HIM
-        Uhhhh are they doing a lesbian scene in a vcu movie
-        Christ that was terrible and way too on the nose
-        “Strong female lesbians”
-        Homelander you himbo fuck what other kind of lesbian do you get
-        I feel bad for Ashley
-        She just wants to do her job well
-        Poor Butcher. His lil heart is broken
-        Oh no baby you’re hurt and upset? That’s so sad let me suck your dick about it
-        Oh no what’s he gonna do
-        BUTCHER WHAT THE SHIT
-        I mean it’s really fuckin hot but still
-        There’s always a cut on the cheekbone
-        “They’ve been moving her around like a Catholic priest” omg HUGHIE
-        Aww he called Hughie his canary
-        Oh shit are Frenchie and Kimiko missing?
-        KEVIN GOT MARRIED
-        BILLY HAS AN AUNTIE
-        Doggiiiiie
-        Awwwww soft Butcher with his dog
-        Aaaand now I feel bad for Atrain cause he’s being kicked to the curb
-        Oh gross this interview with Kevin and his cult wife
-        This is so cringe holy fuck
-        Bring back the Patton Oswalt gills
-        Why are the gangsters discussing musicals specifically Hamilton
-        FUCKING HELL KIMIKO PEELED OFF THAT GUYS FACE
-        Ahahaha the boys showed up at Butchers aunties house
-        The dog’s name is Terror that’s so cute
-        Hahahaha Hughie was holding the fuck pig
-        Why is there a sniper on the roof
-        Oh shit it’s Black Noir
-        Ugh what does Annie’s mom want and why is Stormfront being her friend
-        Oh hey it’s dickless
-        These two writer dudes are hella irritating
-        Poor Elena getting dragged into this shit
-        Yes Maeve scheme against his ass
-        Heartbroken Butcher is so tired
-        He needs a hug
-        Hughie give Butcher a hug please
-    ��   Why is Kimiko in a church
-        Oh hey its Frenchie’s other girlfriend
-        Oh ok Kimiko is doing hits that’s fair
-        The old man just looking away like “I do not see it”
-        Aw no Frenchie don’t break up with Kimiko
-        Oh fuck off Cult Kevin
-        Stormfront again?????
-        Does this bitch ever fuck off
-        DID SHE JUST CALL ATRAIN GARBAGE
-        Wait why is Homelander giving an unapproved speech
-        This is gonna end in someone getting murdered isn’t it
-        OH FUCK
-        That’s a lot more murder than I expected
-        Ohhhh phew ok he was just daydreaming
-        Ashley is gonna go bald from stress
-        I adore grumpy Butcher
-        Omg auntie Judy is a drug dealer I love her
-        Ohhhh shit Homelander is having a nervous breakdown
-        BOBBY FROM X-MEN????
-        Uhhhh why is Homelander talking to Stormfront this can’t be good
-        Ooh MM set a trap this gon be good
-        BUTCHER HAS A BROTHER???? THAT HUGHIE IS LIKE
-        Oop Lenny is dead
-        The random explosions as Black Noir trips the traps
-        Oh shit Butcher locked the others out to face Black Noir alone
-        YES MM
-        OH NO MM
-        YES HUGHIE
-        Oh fuck did he KO Butcher
-        Shiiiit shit shit shit
-        Yes Butcher save your Hughie
-        Oh good they all survived
-        For fuck sake Kevin stop with the cult shit
-        Maeve please save Kevin from the cult
-        Annie why are you sneaking around don’t do it
-        There’s a lot of shots of Annie’s bum
-        What the fuck is Sage Grove
-        Stormfront needs to go choke on a bag of dicks
-        Oh fuck no not Homelander again
-        Uhhhhhhh
-        Stormfront x Homelander was not what I was expecting
-        These two have the WEIRDEST relationship
-        They’re gonna do some really fucked up supe bdsm shit aren’t they
-        Frenchie is Betty White. Fair enough
-        Wait what is happening. Why is Annie letting Frenchie at her with a lil saw
-        Ohhh the chip
-        “This might sting a little” FRENCHIE IT’S A FUCKIN SAW
-        Oh fuck that’s a big chip
-        Oh look it’s loves psychotic dream
-        Well that’s suitably gross
-        Aww Kimiko hugging Annie
-        Butcher is so menacing I love him
-        Kevin tryna be helpful to his buddies he’s so cute
-        NO! NO BAD KEVIN! STOP TRYING TO MAKE PEOPLE JOIN YOUR CULT
-        Kimiko with her brass knuckle
-        Oh man, flowers??? Homelander has it BAD
-        Annie back the fuck off and leave Butcher alone
-        OH SHIT IT’S STORMFRONT AT THE HOSPITAL NOOOO
-        What the fuck is going on at this hospital
-        OH FUCK BOBBY FROM X-MEN IS LAMPLIGHTER
-        Oh shit who got let out
-        What does Cindy do
-        OH SHIT SHE’S THE HEAD BURSTER
-        Aaaaaaand now they’re all out
-        Good job, guys
-        Ewwwwww acid vomit
-        OH NO HUGHIE
-        Are you kidding me?? Annie can’t go all Starlight unless there’s a power source in the immediate vicinity??
-        What kinda fuckin shite superpower is that
-        Aha Butcher agrees with me
-        Ok so I’m guessing Homelander went berserk on set
-        Uhhhh apparently Cult Lunch is a therapy sesh?
-        Atrain get outta there
-        This cult leader guy is an arsehole
-        Hospital escape lookin like a horror survival game
-        Awwww flashbacks to happy times
-        Omfg Butcher with the slicked back hair
-        Welp, Annie just killed a guy
-        Oh shit a baby seat
-        Annie is gonna have a bad case of the guilts now
-        Oh fuck ok Lamplighter killed the kids by accident
-        So Frenchie went to save his friend instead of tailing
-        Oh god that’s the penis isn’t it
-        Stormfront to the…rescue? Maybe? She’s gonna kill Lamplighter isn’t she
-        Oh, no ok she didn’t kill him
-        Aw no sad Butcher cause Hughie’s hurt
-        Oh nooooo Elena found a video from the plane
-        Mallory gon kill sad Lamplighter?
-        Stormfront is coming clean to Homelander? Whaaaa
-        She was buddies with the Nazis??? SHE WAS MARRIED TO THE VOUGHT FOUNDER GUY
-        Oh fuck the head burster is still alive
-        A montage of how Stormfront is brainwashing people into racist attacks, nice
-        I hate Annie’s mom so much
-        Black Noir has just fuckin LAMPED Annie
-        Butchers mum called him 😂😂
-        Oh shit his dad died
-        Why are Hughie and Lamplighter watching knock off supe porn
-        Oh boy a racist rally
-        Homelander just threw Annie under the bus
-        Hughie that’s a really weird pep talk
-        And he’s gonna get Lamplighter killed
-        BUTCHERS MUM IS ADORABLE
-        Oh shit it’s Denethor
-        And he’s not dead
-        Oh fuck he’s why Lenny died?
-        Shit Lenny shot himself
-        Butcher was SAS???
-        WHERE ARE MY PICS OF BUTCHER IN HIS ARMY UNIFORM
-        Ah fuck he’s bringing stepmommy Stormfront to meet the kid
-        I have an urge to run my fingers through Butchers beard
-        Frenchie and Kimiko are too cute she’s teaching him her sign language
-        Is this a cult birthday party?
-        Poor Eagle the Archer. He pissed off the cult so he’s gon be excommunicated
-        Uhhhh kiddo made a Lego film?
-        Good for him
-        I know it shouldn’t be sexy when Butcher starts threatening to brutally murder people in his growly voice, I know, but hear me out: sexy growly voice
-        11/10 would let Karl Urban murder me
-        Oh FUCK Lamplighter killed himself
-        Poor Hughie
-        Why do all the bad things happen to him, like having to saw off a dead guy’s hand with a broken whiskey decanter
-        Annie versus Black Noir, beat his/her ass girl!
-        HUGHIE COME SAVE YOUR ANNIE
-        YAY MAEVE
-        Black Noir has an almond allergy that’s such an off the wall weakness
-        Annie’s favourite chocolate bar saved her life
-        Well Maeve did, technically. But still
-        Omg Hughie accidentally saving Annie’s mom
-        Hughie and Annie are too cute
-        Oh shiiiiit Homelander screwed the pooch and showed the kid everything
-        HAHA SUCK IT BECCA
-        OH SHIT HEADS ARE BURSTING ALL OVER THE PLACE
-        Butcher in his lil jumper
-        For a non-American, this school safety psa video is supremely weird
-        BOBBY FROM SUPERNATURALS CHARACTER IS CALLED BOB
-        BOBBY FROM SUPERNATURALS CHARACTER IS JUST BOBBY FROM SUPERNATURAL BUT FANCY
-        Annie’s mom critiquing her choice in boyfriends while in mortal danger is gas
-        And typical
-        The lads going nuts with weapons they’re so happy look at them
-        And Butcher in his lil jumper again he looks so comfy
-        I would very much like to cuddle him in the soft jumper and give him beard scritches
-        Annie ffs let Hughie enjoy his Billy Joel, that’s a good choice
-        Ahahaha Maeve just called Hughie a twink
-        She’s not wrong
-        Oh fuck off Becca
-        Uuuuugh OF COURSE Mr Edgar is in with the cult
-        Oop Atrain overheard all of that
-        Poor Ashley she’s going bald from stress
-        The kid is gonna have a meltdown
-        Poor Hughie with his mom leaving
-        I wonder if she’ll pop up at some point and turn out to be a supe that would be fun
-        ATRAIN YOU CAN’T JUST APPEAR IN A CAR LIKE THAT YOU COULDA KILLED SOMEONE
-        Hold the phone is Homelander actually being a good dad for a minute
-        What the actual fuck is Stormfront on with this white genocide shit
-        Ahahaha the news broke
-        Uh oh the Vought soldiers got caught by Homelander
-        OH SHIT
-        MM BETTER BE OK
-        Becca fuckin constantly squawking about Ryan is so annoying
-        WHY IS KIMIKO LAUGHING
-        It’s adorable but still
-        Oh FUCK she snapped her neck
-        She’ll be fine
-        She’s like a wolverine, snapped neck won’t keep her down
-        AYYYYY MAEVE
-        The lads just watching them kicking the shit out of her like uhhh
-        Oh hey Becca did something useful and stabbed the Nazi in the eye
-        Huh. The kid melted Stormfront
-        Good for him
-        AHAHAHA YES HE GOT BECCA TOO
-        BYEEEEE FELICIAAAAA
-        I mean yeah, heartbroken sad Butcher isn’t nice to see, but Becca sucked
-        Aaaand now Homelander covered in blood has arrived to listen to Stormfront babble in German
-        This is like in those scenes where it’s like oh who will the dog go to
-        Ayyy Atrain got back into the 7
-        Aww poor Kevin getting rejected again
-        See Kevin this is why we don’t join cults
-        Annie thought he was breaking up with her, girl don’t be daft
-        Butcher and the kid, not awkward at all
-        The one lesson Butcher can teach a kid – “don’t be a cunt”
-        Aww happy endings for all the boys
-        Aaaaand a “happy ending” for Homelander too by the looks of it
-        Oh ffs a corrupt politician in with the cult, what a surprise
-        HIS HEAD BURST
-        Wait the politician lady is the head burster? I’m so confused
-        Confusion may have been aided by it being almost 3am
-        Hughie getting a real job, bless him
-        Too bad it’s with the head burster
-        Oh this is such a good song to end the season with
-        Welp, now begins the long wait for season 3, I guess
-        Should I sleep or find fic to read
-        Body says sleep, heart says fic
-        That’s a lie, heart says Butcher
-        ….Butcher fics it is
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alloutofgoddesses · 4 years ago
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Prodigal Son - Season 2 Episode 9
- How is it once again prodigal son time
- Oh flashback time love it
- Painting!
- Christian Borle is back!
- ‘I stopped writing, started repressing’ I feel very called out
- Because it’s break time Malcolm
- You know Gil too well
- I love Malcolm so much
- Edrisa!! Hello love of my life how are you
- And this is an episode written by Sabrina!! I’m really behind on TGOG episodes I gotta catch up
- Leggies
- Edrisa’s so pretty this episode
- Martin & the doctor make me uncomfy
- Gil wants Dani to talk to Malcolm cause he knows she’ll actually get through to him 🥺
- Edrisa why is that scary
- OH NO EDRISA
- Malcolm being protective over birds he looks So pissed
- Killabustas 🥺 Edrisa please marry me
- And she just insulted the police ma’am- 💍💍💍💍
- Is this... is this an Edrisa focused episode? I’m gonna cry this is everything I’ve ever wanted
- Her alias is Kamasutures! I love her so much
- My poor cat is gonna be cuddled so much after this episode
- OH YES THIS IS SO RIDICULOUS
- Dr. Tanaka! I hate that Martin is so respectful of fellow doctors
- There’s the creepy Martin smile
- I know I’m gonna say this a lot but like I really love Edrisa Tanaka
- I also really love Keiko, because without her Edrisa wouldn’t be as special and wonderful
- Sorry babe
- It’s talk about your emotions time Malcolm
- Oh Dani...
- Okay fuck off
- ‘I pulled a Bright’ shdhhshahshshaj how quickly did that become a saying among our crew
- OH SHIT THERE’S PEOPLE THERE
- Okay hey Malcolm could you please not-
- Goddammit
- His shoe fell off :(
- What the fuck is happening
- Hello Killabustas
- Yay we love hallucinations
- Ah flirting good for Edrisa
- Those are great aliases but guys- how’d you know?
- WE GET TO GO TO EDRISA’S HOUSE
- I’d really like it if it wasn’t these guys who killed him because Edrisa deserves friends and happiness
- Gil’s face looking at Jessica 🥺🥺
- Edrisa I am in love with your apartment
- Uh no Spaghettios
- Martin!
- Hahaha I like Dr Capshaw (I learned the name)
- *gasp* Edrisa!!
- Hey Blaze that better be just nerves that have you looking around
- Whoopsie
- Oh that’s definitely the head
- Hey Martin how’s it going
- Ohhh origin stories
- I’m so uncomfy
- Mmmmmmmmm no thank you
- Welcome to Malcolm’s Edrisa
- Edrisa ma’am I’m so in love with you
- Oh no oh boy
- Poor Edrisa
- Edrisa I’m so sorry
- HELL YEAH
- THAT’S MY FUCKIN BABY
- You deserve to brag
- Hey Gil. Hey Jessica.
- These two are too cute
- Yes yes yes yes yes yes they’re dancing!! This isn’t a drill they’re slow dancing!!
- Are they actually gonna talk feelings over pizza that’s adorable
- Oh. Yeah. Okay. What a slip up Malcolm
- Awww Malcolm baby.
- Dani sweetheart please be patient
- There’s Friar Pete how’s it been dude
- Of course he’s only here to cause problems & sing that’s what Christian Borle characters do best
19 notes · View notes
pagingevilspawn · 4 years ago
Note
Patiently waiting for the next lyialg update ! I’m obsessed so yeah thank u for that !!
Loving You Is A Losing Game- chapter six
i really need to get back to writing this fic, but my inspiration  atm at zero. (i blame proofs, they’ve corrupted all my brain cells)
are we surprised, another filler! what? but, did i write... conversation? wowzies. its just a day full of surprises ain’t it? okay, hope you guys like it! read on ao3 here!
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~*~
"i've spent all of the love i've saved. we were always a losing game."
~*~
she probably should've left after their rendezvous in the comforters, but she didn't. instead, she lay on the wide open bed sprawled out over the covers, dressed and ready for the day as she asks him random questions just to annoy him, which she knows he secretly enjoys. (the tiny smiles he would let sneak past his lips didn't go unnoticed by her. he was quite horrible at trying to convince her that he didn't enjoy it.)
"why can't chickens fly?" she asks thoughtfully, pursing her lips, making him stop in his tracks as he puts his toiletries in his suitcase. that was definitely the weirdest question she had asked yet. and trust him, she'd asked a lot of them.
"umm, because they're too fat? i don't know." he answers with a shrug of his shoulders. he didn't know why the hell chickens didn't fly. all he knew was that their wings were useless.
jo looks unamused with his answer as a frown begins to form in her face. "but why? the universe gave them wings, so why not the opportunity to actually use them?"
alex thinks over the answer for a second, shrugging his shoulder as he puts more things in his bag. "dude, i don't know. you're the one in med school. go ask a teacher. or google. google has the answer to everything."
she furrows her eyebrows, reaching behind her to grab a pillow, which she successfully tosses and it hits his face. she lets out a loud laugh as the pillow makes a thump! sound as it hits the floor, alex sending her a glare she had gotten to know all too well these past few days. "you act like i'm in high school." she huffs, crossing her arms over her chest and frowning as she narrows her eyes at him.
"i would hope you're not. otherwise i'd get arrested." he says gruffly, finding a loner sock in the bathroom and tossing it into his suitcase aimlessly, nearly missing the destination point as it hangs over the side of it loosely.
"asshole. i'm twenty-three." she bites back.  
"exactly." he says. "you're a fetus. you're a young, tiny, innocent fetus." he pauses for a second, "well, maybe not exactly the innocent part." he grins coyly, earning another pillow to the face.
she scowls at him playfully, a small smile gracing her lips. "shut up. and you do realize you're not much older than me right?" she flops back against the pillows, liking the poof! sound it made whenever she hit the confronter beneath her. it was settling, so much so that she did it again and again. sitting up and them flopping down. sit up, flop down. sit up, flop down. to say it annoyed him would be an understatement.
for someone who wasn't a high school student she sure as hell acted like one sometimes. 
most of the time.
all the damn time.
"still. you are in school. ask a teacher, they probably know. or ask google, like i said. they seem to have the answer to everything."
jo blatantly ignores his answer, lost in her own world as she begins to ramble on, a trait he found out she did often. on most people he would find it annoying, but for some reason it suited her. "but it's so cruel." she pouts, narrowing her eyes and glaring at the blank TV screen. "i mean, they have all these bird friends and they see them fly in the sky, and all they wanna do is fly too but they can't because the universe gave them crappy wings that can't hold them up. it's crappy. the situation's crappy. chicken's deserve better." she says in one breath, sinking into the pillows behind her once she was done.
he looks at her for second before bursting into loud laughter. she seemed to have that effect on him, making him laugh at the most unconventional of times. "you think chickens deserve better?" he asks incredulously after he calms down from his laughing fit, a wide grin on his face as he looks at her.
jo blushes and looks away, feeling the heat rise from her cleavage to her face. she truly didn't know where the hell that rant came. she purses her lips and crosses her arms over her chest. "y-yes." she stutters out, trying not to launch into another long monologue. she could go on for days about how the poor, innocent, annoying cluckers got delt crappy cards.  
"oh, i get it." he says, suddenly laying down on the empty spot next to her. "the chicken is you, and the wings are mothers. you're wondering why all the other people -birds- have wings -mothers- but you don't."
she stares at him, mouth agape. was that what she was thinking? she'd never put that together before. was she doing it without even realizing it? "n-no." she stutters out lamely. that would be crazy right? comparing a bird and wings to herself. that's just.. sad. not to mention pathetic. who the hell compares themselves to flightless birds? pathetic people, that's who. she wasn't a chicken, she was a... a fucking unicorn!
"please. i'm the king of euphemisms." he smirks, tossing a shirt into his suitcase as he stands form his position. he looks up to meet her eyes, which were wide. "you didn't know." he states, jo nodding in response.
he shrugs nonchalantly, "well, congrats on knowing it earlier than me. i didn't figure out the weird shit i said was just me reflecting on myself until last year." he gives a half hearted attempt at a grin. it was true. it wasn't until a patient pointing it out actually (who he thought was kind of crazy), so he supposed he couldn't give himself much credit.  
jo pinches her eyebrows together, biting her bottom lip in concentration. "i just compared myself to a chicken." she says abruptly, making him let out a snort.
"that you did."
she suddenly stands up from her spot on the bed, hands flying around like a mad woman. "who the fuck compares themselves to a chicken!" she shrieks, sounding so serious alex was trying not to burst into a laugh right then and there.
"you." he deadpans, unable to stop the wide smirk that spread across his sharp features. she was too easy to mess with sometimes.  
she throws him a sharp glare, taking off her flat from her foot and hitting him right in the chest, picking it up and slipping it back on after. he winces as he rubs the spot, making sure no shoe prints got marked on him. he wouldn't know how the hell he would explain that to robbins. i mean, 'oh no, i'm fine, just got trampled by a single shoe' was a bit of a hard thing to believe.
"no, but... that's just weird." she says, crossing her arms over her chest once more as she looks out the window, taking notice of the light bits of snow falling from the sky. she didn't know why she expected otherwise. it was november after all. she'd practically grown up in boston, she knew the reasons like the back of her hand.
he nods. "it is."
jo watches as the snow falls. it was so pure. she used to consider herself pure. well, not really. she lived in her car and had gotten kicked out of so many foster homes she lost count. but she did always think she still had that shred of innocence left in her, the girl who looked for the good in everything, despite her normally pessimistic thoughts. now, now that little bit of purity was shattered.
she cheated on her husband.
and the worst part? she enjoyed it. not the fact that she was cheating, god no. the guilt was all consuming, a torturous monster that she truly just wanted to stab to death with a sword as she watched it bleed out. no, she felt guilty at the fact that she couldn't get enough of the sex.
no man had ever made her feel the way alex karev had in the past three days. never in her life. she'd had random hookups that she met at bars who were quite good, and not to mention her husband, who she would used to compare to god in bed. but now... now she wasn't so sure.
it was like he knew her. it was like... he knew exactly what to do to push her over the edge, something she had never experienced before. god, she felt so dirty. she wanted to just hop in the shower and scrub every reminder of alex off her, but at the same time she just wanted to do him in the shower.
shaking away her thoughts, she looks back at him, noting how he also seemed to be lost in his mind as well, staring at the snow.
he notices her eyes on him, so he just lets his mouth tumble out the words flying through his brain. he didn't feel the need to hold back around jo, something he didn't know he was missing until she came into the picture.
"it doesn't snow very often in seattle." he says, watching as the white flakes trickle down to the sidewalk, some sticking to the window as they let the wind move them in whatever direction it pleases.
"we get a lot of rain, but not a lot of snow. to be honest, it snowed more in iowa." she nods at his words. she'd known snow all her life. she grew up on the east coast and never left. she liked the white fluffiness that would make tiny piles outside her bay window in the study, something she had since she moved in with paul.
she grimaces slightly, "do you ever get annoyed with the rain?" she asks softly.
alex nods furiously, a silent chuckle escaping his lips. "all the damn time." he whispers, taking a seat on one of the chairs the room housed.
"then why'd you move there?" she asks curiously. surely he knew how much it rained in seattle. practically babies did.  
"i got accepted to seattle grace. no way in hell would i give up a chance to train at one of the best hospital's in the world because of the weather."
she nods, settling into a comfortable silence with him as they focus on the snow. that was something they both enjoyed about each other. there was no pressure to fill the noise. they could sit in silence and be okay with it.
the snow falling was like them, having to leave this hotel room. here, they were able to attack each other's lips with all they had in them, no matter how wrong it was. the snow hitting the ground was like them needing to leave the four walls. it was them having to face and come to terms with their actions.
so for the moment they sat silently, just trying to savor the last few moments before their life would probably turn to shit.
they weren't telling anybody, god no. but the overhanging cloud of guilt and shame above their head's already made it a little bit harder to carry on.
some say the guilt is the ultimate punishment, worse than death or anything else.
and at that moment they couldn't agree more.
____
they sit for a while longer, just watching the city of boston get covered in white. it was settling, calming in a way they didn't know they needed.
he would miss talking to her. which was a stupid thing to say. a really stupid thing to say actually. but it was the truth. he had never found himself opening up to someone so easily. for once in his life he wasn't given eyes of pity when someone hears his sob story he called his childhood, instead she just understood. she knew what it was like to grow up with basically nothing and make themselves into something, trying to be better than their parents, even though she never knew her's.
it was refreshing, talking to someone without having to worry abut being judged or labeled as something he used to be. he wasn't a foster kid anymore, nor a little boy who had to take care of his younger siblings from such a young age. he wasn't the twelve year old boy who had to practically raise his little sister. to her, he was just alex. the guy who she cheated on her husband with (he wasn't proud of that part), the guy she talked until three in the morning with. the guy she ate a shit loud of pizza with. he was just a normal guy with a crappy past.
she would miss talking to him too. with alex, talking was so natural. she didn't need to think, she didn't feel the pressure to say the right thing in hopes that she would be seen as more than what she had been told she was all her life.
but she would miss him holding her.
a lot.
when they laid in bed, he would wrap his arms around her and pull her in close. she swore, she had never felt more safe than she did while nestled in his chest as his fingers wove through her hair. it was such an intimate embrace, and they knew they shouldn't be doing it, but hell, they'd crossed the line that first night. why not be a bit more reckless? the only people feeling the pain would be them.  and if a few hours of them taking away each other's pain would mean that there was more added on later, then why the hell not?  
they didn't want to say goodbye. not just because they were screwing each other, but because they had made a friend in one another.
so with that thought, without looking away from the window alex sticks out his palm to the side, not far away from jo, "hand me your phone."
she quirks a quizzical brow at him, "what?" she asks, turning to face towards him from where she was sitting on the miniature table. it was a small little thing, but she petite herself, so the table acted like a stool.  
he simply only raises his eyebrows and she gets what he means. she cracks a small smile, happy that he didn't want their newfound friendship to come to an end either. she learned over the years that losing a relationship was okay, it would take time to heal, but you got over it. a friendship was something you never ultimately forgot about. he and alex weren't by any means in a relationship, but it was safe to say they had become really good friends.  
she walks over to the bedside table, grabbing her phone and unlocking it, a new pang of guilt shooting through her at the sight of her lock screen. it was of her and paul a few months ago, a couple weeks before he proposed. they looked really happy. she was smiling wide and he was pressing a kiss to the side of her cheek. she shakes off the feelings, opening the contact app for him to fill out with his information.
"put your name down as alexandra." she says adamantly, alex glancing up with a look of displeasure.
"what?" last time he checked his full name was alexander, not a chick's name.
"he might get suspicious." she shrugs her shoulders, taking his phone from his hand and filling out the little lines of information.
he rolls his eyes, he thought it was a bit excessive, but he did kinda of get where she was coming from. just alex could be a boy or a girl. "fine, then you have to be joseph." he answers, smirking triumphantly.
she scowls, begrudgingly typing out joseph onto the screen. "you better not fucking call me that asshole." she mutters, earning a light laugh. nobody ever really called him stuff like 'asshole' or 'dickhead' without using it as an insult. it was actually pretty funny when it wasn't being used condescendingly, he learned.  
"as long as you don't call me alexandra we have a deal." he shakes his head. "i already know an alexandra. dated one, but we call her lexie." he mumbles, more to himself than to jo. a small laugh is heard in the room after his words, alex cracking a small, barely there smile. they eventually stand up, knowing that now was the time. if they delayed it any longer than he would miss his flight, and that was one thing he couldn't do, because that would mead to questions from robbins, which would lead to questions from izzie, which would lead to the truth coming out. long story short, he couldn't miss his flight.  
alex and jo stand in front of each other, staring into each other's eyes.
should she kiss him? as a goodbye?
as if he hears her thoughts he's stepping closer to her, raising one hand to her cheek, his eyes looking a bit conflicted as he stares at her. he takes it as a sign that she doesn't pull away and begins to lean in, making her shiver all over as she feels his breath fan her face. their heart rates pick up simultaneously in their chests, a feeling that hadn't faded over the past three days.
after what seems like hours their lips finally connect, taking in their taste for the last time. the fire burns in their stomach's, but this time they put it aside. if they took it any further, they knew that they would end up in the throes of passion once again.
they pull away at the same time, him reaching down to grab the handle of his suitcase as he walks out of the door with her, who only has her small clutch in her hand. he shuts the door behind them, staring at her once more.
"goodbye jo." he says, beginning to turn away.
"goodbye alex."
14 notes · View notes
eevee-eclair · 4 years ago
Text
Smitten Like a Kitten
Written by EeveeEclair
TW: fluff, crying, (tell me if I missed one!)
Random side note: This was made possible thanks to @does-this-look-logicality-to-you’s Animal Shelter AU! Thank you!
>~~~~~<
About ten years ago when Patton and Logan were still in college, Logan told Patton about his soft spot for animals. Patton was shocked the ‘emotionless’ man (or so everyone called him) loved something as much as him. And animals no less!
“It’s just… they tend to follow me everywhere and I feel like they understand me somehow,” Logan said, looking a little sheepish. “I know it sounds illogical, but I think I want to open an animal shelter when I graduate.”
Patton gasped and squealed. “Can I help?!” He asked.
Logan looked at him for a second, then gave him one of his rare smiles. “Yeah! And we could help all kinds of animals!” He said.
Patton smiled and got comfortable at the desk he was sitting at, listening to Logan ramble about his dream shelter. He listened as Logan told him about a lamp room and how he would run the place, nodding every so often as giving his opinion here and there.
It was then he realized he might have a crush on Logan.
~~~
A few years after graduation, Logan and Patton bought what would soon be their dream animal shelter. They had asked some family for financial help, and asked their friends Virgil and Roman if they would want to work there.
“I can’t believe this is happening!” Patton squealed as he walked through the empty animal shelter. “Right, Logan?” He asked. He was met with silence, so he looked around for Logan. “Logan?” He called. It took a minute but he found Logan in the backyard where the dogs would be able to run around. Upon closer inspection, he saw his friend crying. 
Logan saw him approaching and wiped the tears away. “Hello, Patton. What do you need?” He asked, trying to hide the fact he was crying.
Patton wasn’t going to let him just forget it, though. “Why are you crying?” He asked, putting a hand on Logan’s back.
“It’s just… I never thought I would be living this dream,” he told him. He laughed a little. “It’s all thanks to you.”
Patton smiled and felt tears build up in his eyes too. “It was only because you told me it was your dream,” he said, hugging Logan.
They sat there, wrapped in each other’s arms crying happy tears for about an hour. It was sundown but the time they went back to their respective apartments.
~~~
Two months after they had bought the empty building, they had their first dog. After everyone saw how happy the dog became only a few weeks later, they got more and more animals and with it came more and more adoptions.
But every time someone came to adopt a pet, they asked how said pet became so happy so fast. Every time, they said the same thing, ‘you can thank Logan Barry’. Yet, every time, the adopter would take one look at the emotionless receptionist and laugh.
“You can’t be serious,” someone once said.
“Ma’am, I've never been more serious in my life. The animals love him,” Patton told her. 
As if on cue, a mother cat and her five kittens all jumped onto Logan’s workspace. His face immediately lit up with the biggest smile, making Patton melt. He watched as Logan put a kitten in his shirt pocket and two on his lap. Logan then set another on his head and the last one on his shoulder, leaving the mama cat, Sammy, kitten-less and given a well deserved break.
Sammy meowed at Logan before jumping off, leaving her kittens to snuggle with the kind man. “Bye Sammy,” Logan said, before turning back to work.
The lady stared at Logan in awe. She gave a small ‘oh’ before leaving with the bird she adopted. Patton smiled as she walked off, happy to have proved her wrong.
~~~
It didn’t take long for Patton and Logan to realize they would need a better way to get to work faster. Both their apartments were about an hour to thirty minutes from the shelter, so they had to get up extremely early. Not to mention the late hoodies they already worked.
“We can’t run on three hours of sleep forever, Lo,” Patton yawned.
“I know,” Logan said, rubbing his eyes. “But for both of us to move would be expensive. It would also take up a lot of time we don’t have to give.”
Patton taped his chin for a second, thinking of a solution. “We could move in together?” He suggested. “It would save us money, be more convenient, and we won’t have to waste a lot of time moving! We could even call Roman and Remus to help unpack!”
Logan nodded. “It would be beneficial for both of us,” he mused. “Okay, I like your idea. But we need to plan it out. We can’t be gone from the shelter for too long or Virgil will have a panic attack.”
Patton smiled. “Okay! I’ll start looking for houses nearby!” He said, opening his laptop to search. Logan smiled as he watched Patton search for houses. He wouldn’t admit it, but he was very excited about the idea of sharing a house with his best friend.
~~~
Patton watched with a small smile on his face as Logan walked around the shelter with at least four dogs trotting after him. He also noticed a black cat had fallen asleep on Logan's shoulders and a small bird was snoozing in his hair. Logan saw Patton watching and walked over to him, beaming.
“Ah, Patton! I’ve been looking for you,” he said.
“Oh? And what can I do for you?” Patton asked, smiling back.
“I’ve got a few more adoption papers for you!” Logan told him. “Two cats and one dog!”
Patton laughed at Logan’s enthusiasm. “Alright, let me see,” he said. Logan handed him the papers and he skimmed them quickly. “Alright! I’ll send Roman over for a house inspection tomorrow.”
Logan nodded and walked off, still smiling. Patton noticed that the amount of animals had increased in the few minutes he stood still, as he walked away.
~~~
Logan watched as Patton smiled when another animal was adopted. More specifically, how cute he looked smiling. Usually, he thought nothing of it, but today he just couldn’t shake how adorable Patton looked in the skirt he insisted on wearing even though Logan had told him it would get ruined (and at the end of the day, it was) and how well it worked with his wide smile.
Patton looked in Logan’s direction and his smile turned from customer service to one of his genuine smiles. The kind you can’t say no to.
Logan sat up a little straighter (read gayer) as Patton made his way over. 
“Hi, Lo! Did you need something?” He asked in his cheery tone.
“Oh no, I’m fine!” Logan said. “Just… umm… getting some work done! Yeah, that’s it!” He rushed in a panic.
“Okay, well I’m going to go get lunch! Roman brought sandwiches! Do you want anything?” 
Logan shook his head. “I brought my own lunch, thanks,” he told him, pointing to his lunchbox. Most days it held not only a tuna sandwich and an orange, but treats for the animals that sit around him.
“Okay! If you change your mind, let me know!” Patton smiled, walking off.
Logan waved goodbye before slumping in his chair letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. Sammy meowed in protest as he laid his head on her tail.
“Sorry, Sam,” he mumbled. “He’s just too cute!”
Sammy meowed in acknowledgement before tucking her tail in and laying back down.
“Did you just call Patton cute?”
Logan jumped at Virgil’s voice, startling Sammy again and the bird who decided Logan’s hair would make a good napping spot.
“Virgil!” He cried, adjusting his tie nervously. “Don’t sneak up on me like that!”
“Sorry,” Virgil shrugged. “But you’re avoiding my question. Did you just call Patton cute?”
Logan sighed and covered his face. “Yes.”
“Why?” Virgil asked. Then realization dawned on him. “Oh my god, you like Patton.”
Logan’s face turned red and he quickly shushed Virgil. “Don’t say it so loud!” He hissed.
Virgil laughed. “Everyone knows, L. It’s no secret. Well, except to Patton,” he said shrugging. “Poor dude is too innocent for his own good,” Virgil mused.
“Do you have any advice for me?” Logan pleaded, snapping Virgil from his thoughts.
Virgil nodded. “Yeah.”
Logan stared at him for a second. “Well? What is it?” He asked, growing impatient.
“You don’t know?” Virgil asked, shocked. When Logan shook his head no, Virgil groaned. “You’re hopeless.”
Logan began to panic. “What does that mean?!” He cried.
Virgil laughed. “No, dude, like, you’ve never asked out a crush before?”
Logan’s face turned a light shade of pink. “You’re suggesting I ask Patton out?” He whispered. Virgil nodded. “You’re insane!” He cried.
“Who is?” Patton asked.
Logan jumped. Again. “No one!” He exclaimed, adjusting his tie. “What can I help you with, Patton?” Logan asked. 
“Roman found a kitten hiding under a car at a car dealership and I was wondering if you could help us get it to eat?” Patton asked. Logan saw Patton looked distressed and felt his chest tighten at the sight. 
Logan nods. “Absolutely, tell me where it is,” he said, standing up.
Patton smiled. Logan’s heart jumped at his new favorite sight. “Thank you Logan! They’re both in the lamp room,” he said. The lamp room was where they had all their heat lamps for snakes, lizards, and other reptiles. Sometimes they used it for baby animals (like kittens) that had no mother for warmth. 
Virgil smiled as Logan walked away with Patton. He pulled out his phone and started to text his friend, Remy. They didn’t usually hire outsiders, but Virgil introduced him to Logan and Patton and they quickly hired him. Remy was also really good with birds for some reason.
You: u and ro are gonna help me set up our bosses
Sleep King: k. when we startin?
You: lunch. imma talk to ro dont b l8
Sleep King: k see u then
Virgil put his phone up and followed the others into the lamp room to talk to Roman. They had a date to plan.
~~~
Patton smiled as Logan finally got the sick kitten to drink some formula. Normally, Logan wouldn’t have to do this, but there were no mother cats willing to provide milk. Hence, the bottle of kitten formula.
He watched as Logan smiled and pet the small cat for doing such a good job. Patton decided then and there he would do whatever he could to make Logan smile like that more often.
Roman noticed Patton’s helpless staring and nudged him. “You good, Pops?” He asked.
Patton blinked and stopped starting at Logan. “Yes? Why wouldn’t I be?”
Roman laughed a little. “You’re kinda staring at Logan,” he said.
Patton’s face burned red. “O-oh! I didn’t notice,” he mumbled.
Roman stared at him for a second before grinning. “You have a crush on Logan,” it was a statement, not a question.
“Noooo…” Patton lied, looking away. “What makes you say that?”
Roman tried to hide his giggles but he failed miserably. “Oh my god you do!” He laughed. “You have a crush o-“
Patton put a hand over Roman’s mouth before he could finish his sentence. “Okay! I do! But don’t tell him!” He pleaded.
Roman rolled his eyes but nodded nonetheless. Patton removed his hand and sighed. “Fine. But I’m telling the others.”
Patton paled. “You can’t! No one can know!” He cried.
“You can’t expect me to keep this a secret from everyone?” Roman asked, raising an eyebrow.
“A gay can dream, can’t he?” Patton said with a sad but hopeful smile.
“I’m telling Remy and Virgil,” Roman said. “And possibly Remus and Janus,” he added after some thought.
Patton lowered his head in defeat. “As long as Logan doesn’t find out, you can tell whoever,” he mumbled.
Roman took one look at his friend’s sad expression and sighed. “Fine. I’ll only tell Virgil and Remy. Deal?”
Patton nodded, smiling a little. “Deal!”
~~~
Remy sipped his iced coffee as he waited for Virgil and Roman I’m the breakroom. He had been waiting for a few minutes and was starting to get impatient. Usually Virgil didn’t keep him waiting this long.
“Sorry we're late!” Virgil said, stumbling through the doorway with Roman close behind. Both men looked a little rough.
Remy whistled. “Why were you two late? Wait, don’t tell me,” he said, smirking. He laughed at his friend’s red face. “Relax! I’m kidding! I know what really happened.”
“Remy!” Virgil cried. “Get your mind out of the gutter!”
Remy lowered his sunglasses, looking Virgil right in the eye. “It’s not in the gutter, babe. I never said what really happened.”
“Whatever! What’s going on?” Roman asked, changing the subject. He walked over to the fridge and pulled out the salad he had been saving. “Virgil said something about setting up some guys?”
“Yeah, Logan and Patton,” Virgil said. “Logan has this huge crush on Patton but he’s too chicken to do anything about it.”
Roman laughed. “This is perfect! Patton just told me he also had a crush on our Nerdy Wolverine!” He told them.
Remy shrugged. “Well, the answer is pretty simple. We set up two fake dinners. One between Virgil and Logan and one between Roman and Patton. Then, when they both accept, you both stand them up and watch from a different table,” Remy said it like it was obvious. 
Roman stared at him. “That is so cheesy and cliché!” He cried. Then he smirked. “I’m in.”
Virgil rolled his eyes. “Fine. I’ve got nothing better to do anyway.”
And just like that, they had a plan.
~~~
Roman and Virgil got off the phone about the same time, setting up their fake dinner dates. Virgil felt bad about lying to his friends, but Roman assured him it was in that name of love.
“They’ll thank us later,” Roman said.
“Let's hope so,” Virgil mumbled, snuggling into his side. “Cuddle me to make me feel better?” He asked.
Roman put an arm around Virgil. “Of course,” he said.
Remy groaned. “Get up you two! You have a date to stalk!” He whined.
“Can’t you do it? They could recognize us! Plus, you’d get to see the date first hand,” Virgil said smiling.
“You got me there,” Remy mused. “Fine! You can stay. I got some gays to stalk,” he said, walking away.
~~~
Logan fiddled with his tie as he waited for Virgil to show up. Virgil was never late and he was starting to worry. What could make Virgil forty minutes late? To a reserved time no less!
He was pulled from his spiraling by the sound of crying. Looking around he noticed Patton wasn’t far from him. Not only that, he was the one in tears. It broke his heart to see him so sad, so he walked over and put a hand on his back.
“Patton? Are you okay?” Logan asked.
Patton shook his head and wiped at his tears. “N-no. Roman said we would meet up for dinner here but it’s been almost an hour and he’s still not here!” He sobbed. Patton turned to him and it broke Logan’s heart to see his friend so distraught. “Do you think he lied to me?” He whispered, sounding scared.
Logan used his thumb to wipe away a stray tear. “Or course not. He’s probably running late! Virgil was going to meet me here too, but he hasn’t showed up either,” Logan said, smiling.
Patton tilted his head in confusion. He looked like a confused puppy to be honest. “Virgil’s never late to anything,” he said.
“I know, that’s why I’m a little concerned,” Logan sighed. Then he pulled out his phone. “I’ll call him and ask if he’s okay.”
Logan pulled out his phone and dialed Virgil’s number, praying he would pick up this time. Thankfully, he did.
“Hey Logan?” It was more of a question than a greeting. “How’s it going?”
“Where are you?” Logan asked, tapping his foot in frustration. “It’s been forty minutes! And do you know where Roman is? He stood Patton up and I found him crying outside the building!” He seethed.
On the other end, Virgil sighed. “I-I’m sorry okay? It was Remy’s idea. And Roman’s sitting right next to me.”
“What’s going on?! What was Remy’s idea?!” Logan cried.
Logan heard some movement on the other side and suddenly, Roman was the one in possession of the phone.
“Okay, L, listen up! You and Patton obviously have deep romantic feelings for each other and neither of you are doing a thing about it! So me, Remy, and Virgil set you guys up on a date! You’re welcome!” Roman said smugly. “Now go enjoy your date!” He declared before hanging up.
“Roman? Roman!” Logan yelled into the phone, hoping it would bring him back. 
“Is everything okay?” Patton asked. Thankfully, his tears had dried by now and was looking a little less sad.
“Yes. They’re both fine. For now,” Logan added, stuffing his phone back into his pocket.
“What do you mean ‘for now’?” Patton asked, raising an eyebrow. When Logan didn’t answer he pressed further. “Logan, what do you mean?”
Logan sighed. “They set us up on a date by asking both of us to attend a dinner and ditching us both. Leaving us to spend the night together,” he explained.
“Oh! That’s not so bad, right?” Patton asked.
Logan shrugged, but smiled nonetheless. “Yeah, you’re right,” he said. Then he took Patton’s hand and led him to the front door and opened it. “Shall we?”
Patton giggled. “We shall.”
A few years later, the partner-owned animal shelter would become a family business, but for now they would enjoy dinner dates every Sunday and movie night almost every day after work. All thanks to their friends.
Logan was still going to tear them apart later, though.
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katatty · 4 years ago
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For the Sims 2 questions: 3, 12, 16, 19 and 25 if you want! 😊
3. Riverblossom Hills vs Downtown?
I think it’s Downtown for me! I do like Riverblossom Hills and think its premades are interesting, I like the idea of a rural town but there’s something about it that just doesn’t do it for me... meanwhile Downtown is great just because it doesn’t come with a bunch of premades so it’s super versatile and useful? Every sims neighbourhood needs a local big city and Downtown idk, it’s just good for that! Plus I really like that so many of the downtownies have unique faces, glasses, makeup, etc. They’re way cooler than the maxis townies or dormies. Not to mention the Tricous - I’ve never really played with the dead ones but I really like those “teens” with the mysterious connection to Jon Smith Tricou - so much intrigue and potential there!
12. Favourite male premade sim?
It’s Dustin Broke! I have a soft spot for Ripp Grunt & Tybalt Capp too but Dustin is still my favourite. There’s just something about the idea of this poor kid doing his best to help his family and going down a dangerous road... I know some people play him as more of a bad guy but I’ve never been able to see it lol, he’s so sweet with his little brother? I also love that he is so into environment & animals and has the nature OTH, he is always talking about those things and doing that extremely cute “pretending to be a bird” animation during conversations, it’s very wholesome! (Angela is the same & it’s one of my main reasons for liking them as a couple, haha.) He is a sweet boy and nobody can convince me otherwise.
16. Who amidst the premades and within the original plot deserved better according to you?
This is kind of a weird question because it’s so easy for the player to give the sims whatever plot they want but maybe I’d say Cassandra Goth? She’s meant to be the “quiet, mysterious type”, she’s got this really out there eccentric style, is a scientist, literally based on Wednesday Adams, basically could be a really intriguing and cool character. I feel like she ought to have more of a “cool” vibe???
But her family aspiration, and “can she tame the town cassanova??” engagement to Don Lothario makes her seem like... honestly for lack of a better word “basic” lmao? Like even if you set Don up as less of an asshole and her as less naive & gulible I just don’t like the idea that this mysterious, alternative, eccentric scientist’s main aspiration in life being marriage and babies with this really conventional “hot” dude, idk. I find it hard to reconcile what I want Cassandra to be versus how she’s actually presented so I never really know what to do with her. Some people just throw maxis stuff down the toilet and do their own thing completely but I like to say somewhat true to “canon” or at least an interpretation of it..? I know people will say like “why can’t a cool alternative type also want marriage and kids” and fine but c’mon like... Don Lothario??
19. Favourite female and male townie & favourite NPC of yours?
Meadow Thayer & Tiave Tricou/Teens! Mainly just because they happened to become playable in my uberhood and I have a lot of fun with them. For NPCs... idk, I don’t want to say Kaylynn because she’s not even really a favourite of mine but I’m stuggling to even think of any other NPCs lmao, I don’t really pay a lot of attention to them!
Oh wait I know. Jessica Ebadi, the burglar! She’s the coolest out of the Pleasantview burglars for sure, I remember in some Pleasantview machinima series she was portrayed as like this badass mastermind of the crime scene, it was cool.
Oh, also, back before we had Meetme’s templates and I played with the original Strnagetown/Veronaville townies, I was always a fan of the Strangetown maid, Genesis Lam! Mainly just because the name is so appropriately Strangetown-y, haha. She used to clean the Curious house in one of my oldest saves and became pretty good friends with them
25. Your favourite Expansion Pack?
It’s gotta be university! I’ve talked lots of times about how much I enjoy the EP so I won’t go on for ages but honestly I just love getting to play sims for long periods and giving them little “coming of age” type stories without stressing out about careers & kids. You can focus almost entirely on the social stuff like parties, friends, enemies & romances which are my favourite things to focus on in the game :) Plus it’s so fun to create huge households of unlikely roommates - you can do that with adult sims too ofc like the Singles household but they don’t tend to last long since the sims inevitably start wanting to settle down & have kids etc.
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andaleduardo · 5 years ago
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Rooftop - Epilogue
Read on AO3
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Summary:
Richie doesn’t think words do any justice to how much you can love someone. But he’ll worry about that later. For now, they stare at the sky.
Wednesday 02.06.1993
(Epilogue)
  The thing about Richie and Eddie is that both of them are touch-starved and attention seekers. Those traits go hand in hand. Or hand in hand, hands in hair, lips on lips and lips on necks.
It’s only been a few days and, so far, every spare time they have is spent with one of them all over the other, which isn’t really different from the way it used to be before but, well. It’s also a hundred times better.
“Rich-” Turns out it’s awfully hard to compete against Richie’s lips. “Rich,” A peck.  “-I’m serious.” Eddie says, breathless, against Richie’s close-mouthed kisses. God, kisses. They can kiss now. Of course they’re still doing it between four walls, away from the world for obvious reasons. But to Eddie, it tastes like the greatest amount of freedom he ever got to experience in his life.
“Stop pushing me away when all I want to do is shower you in honey.”
“What?”
“Look at that, the cutest boy on earth…” Richie speaks more to himself than anything, with half lidded eyes that drip of infatuation while he looks down at Eddie’s face.
“What are you even-?”
Richie moves in again with puckered lips, and Eddie pushes him away in embarrassment from all the sudden affection. “Stop that! I’m serious,” but he really isn’t, “we’re gonna be late.”
With a huff, Richie falls back on his side of the bed. “But I want to hold you all day and I can’t, Eds. Do you know how hard it is for me to not just- koala you in school? I literally wanna hold onto you and never let go.”
It takes every bit of Eddie’s self-control not to feed Richie’s amusement with his overall shyness. He’s been practising a lot of things lately, like trying not to melt with every word that comes from Richie’s mouth, perfecting his kissing techniques (although Richie claims Eddie’s already better than him) and also trying not to get hard every time they make out on Richie’s bed. On top of that, he’s been spending a lot of time staring, because he can. Staring at greasy hair, bony wrists, a lovely overbite, and so on.
Letting himself fall on top of Richie’s frame, Eddie hides an awkward noise against the boy’s shirt. “Quit it with those- those things you say…”
Richie stays silent for a while before mumbling into Eddie’s hair. “…I love it when you get all flustered.”
Despite all these new additions to his daily life, there are some things a person learns after so many years by Richie’s side. Eddie knows that sometimes he has to let certain comments go by without a response, otherwise, they’d still be stuck in an argument from kindergarten. So, he ditches Richie’s obvious try at making him even more embarrassed.
“You know what I love? Ben. And, in case you forgot, his birthday party starts in two hours and you have to go meet the others and help while I go get him, like we all agreed to and oh my god-”
Richie is about to ask ‘What’s wrong?’ when he notices that Eddie is looking at the clock on his bedside table.
“Oh my god, Richie, how long have we been here? We have like an hour!”
“You know what they say. You lose track of time when you’re making out with a hottie.” With both hands locked behind his head, Richie stares while Eddie hurries to put his shoes back on.
“No one fucking says that- get up you dipshit, we’re super late!” Eddie says as he glances back at him.
With a lovely pout, Richie finally gives in and starts looking for his shoes. “Ah Spaghetti, baby, relax. I’m in charge of setting up the table and bringing the couch outside. Can take care of that in a minute, just the same amount of time it takes me to get your mom to-”
“Don’t even finish that sentence.”
    Plans turn out to be less easier than that. As soon as Richie jumps over the fence of Mike’s farm, which was totally unnecessary because one of the gates is a few steps away, he sees Bev storming over to him, and she looks a little angry.
“I can’t believe you’re late, one full hour. It’s Ben’s birthday!” She glares at him harshly.
Richie flinches and wrings his hands together. “Wish I had an acceptable excuse, oh wait… I do.” And then a smile lights up his whole face against his commands. It’s stupid, but Richie feels his cheeks heating up and rushes to cover them up with both hands, groaning shamelessly into his palms at the same time. Beverly drops the pout and snickers at him. The audacity. “Shut up, Marsh.” He whines.
“Oh boy, you’re so smitten.” Richie can practically hear the cocky grin on her voice. He sees it’s there, in fact, as he lets his hands fall at his sides.
“I hate you.”
He ended up giving her the update, without any details, because she knows all the events and stuff about his life. And maybe because he would burst if he didn’t talk about it to, at least, one person.
“You better not hate me. I put up with your lovesickness so I deserve to enjoy the honeymoon phase just as much as you do.”
Richie throws his head back at the same time as he crosses his arms. “Dude, stop giving me a hard time and just tell me what kind of punishment I have for being late.”
Bev rolls her eyes. “Do not call me a dude, dude. And I’m sorry, just messing with you.” She runs a hand through his hair to mess it up even further. “The water balloons are waiting for you by the faucet.” Then, she pats his arm way harder than needed and heads off to the picnic table, which she ended setting up herself along with Stan since Richie was, indeed, busier.
“Love you, too!” He screams after her and waves at Stan, Mike and Bill. Bill gives him the bird and Richie laughs so hard he almost walks straight into the barn’s closed doors.
He rolls the couch outside, trying to make it look easier than it actually is. Turns out couches on wheels don’t work well with grass. He’s tempted to throw himself on top of it after it’s settled on the right place by the temporary hammocks Mike set up in the trees, but instead he drags his feet to the outdoors faucet and stares at the pile of water guns and water balloon packs and tries not to miss Eddie so much.
It’s only been half an hour, but that’s half an hour too long. Now that he has something’s he’s been longing for years, now that he can be with the person he loves so much all the time, a simple trip to the bathroom feels too far away.
With a sigh, he settles down on the grass and starts filling up the plastic guns with water, feeling the back of his neck getting warmer and warmer as time passes. The voices of the others become white noise for Richie’s thoughts and he doesn’t hold memory of opening up the balloons’ package, nor filling up the first 12, knotting each of them, and throwing them in the empty bucket by his side. He’s too lost thinking about the last three days and too stuck on stealing glances at the dirt road to be aware of anything, that’s why he’s completely caught off guard when a water spray hits the side of his face.
“What the-?!” He screeches and turns around to find Stan looking smug with a water gun in his hand. “That’s a dirty move, Stanley, I’m just the poor guy who got stuck with the most boring part of water fights.”
“And I’m just the poor guy who got stuck with your part of the work because you decided to show up an hour later.” Richie really wants to throw a water balloon at him, but those little fuckers take up too much time to fill up to go to waste so soon.
“Jeez I get it, you old people. Richie’s late! Yeah, okay now how about a little bit of concern as to why I was late? What if I fell off my bike or almost got run over by a car?”
“We all know what held you up, Trashmouth. Now work faster or we won’t be ready by the time Ben arrives.”
At a lack of words, Richie’s mouth drops and he makes to get up and throw a water balloon straight to Stan’s face, but the other boy is quicker than him and uses his gun again, spraying Richie’s glasses and running off to help Mike set up the game stations. Richie feels out of breath just from a simple sentence. We all know what held you up, Trashmouth.
It’s only been a few days, but Richie is sure his life will end the day Eddie walks out of it. So, if Eddie’s not ready to share this part of his life with his friends yet, Richie will respect that. Which is why Stan’s comment makes him uneasy. What if someone makes a comment like that while Eddie is around? What if they tease them, not with real meanness, of course, and that makes Eddie uncomfortable? What if it’s all too much to handle for him? What if, what if, what if-
“You need to work faster than that.”
“Oh, fuck’s sake. Stop trying to make my heart stop.” He jumps a little in his seat and finds Beverly sitting down on the grass by his side. She’s already working on filling up more balloons. Richie stares at her for a while to catch his breath before joining her, the bucket filling up way quicker that way.
He clears his throat. “So, Stan knows?”
“Stan knows what?”
“Stan knows.” It’s all he says.
“I don’t know if Stan knows, but I think we all know.” She glances at him. “To some extent.”
Richie doesn’t know how to answer, so he doesn’t. His finger gets caught up while he tries to knot one of the balloons. He watches the skin turn red before pulling it out. He grabs another from the package.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Bev asks after a while of working in silence.
“Thought I needed a brain to have those.”
“Rich-”
He doesn’t let her finish. Grabs the closest water gun and sprays her in the arm. Bev hisses at the temperature contrast and stares at him with her mouth open in shock.
“You did not-” And because he’s a real asshole, he tries to hit her in the nose and ends up giving her a mouthful of water.
“Oh, shit.” It’s impossible to hold in the laughter, so he just crumbles, shaking and falling down to the grass on his back. Needless to say this spurs on a water fight between them, Bev wasting no time in reaching for one of cheap plastic guns and aiming it back at Richie.
They’re in the midst of getting up to escape each other’s aim when the fight is interrupted.
“Hey! Stop wasting ammo!”
Richie’s neck never cracked so loud before. He looks over and there he is, by Ben’s side.
“Ben! Happy birthday!” Bev exclaims and runs to hug him. Richie watches them from the corner of his eye while a staring contest begins between him and a shorter fella.
“You already wished me a happy birthday four times in school, Bev” Ben says with a laugh at the same time as Richie walks up to Eddie, who is looking at him with big eyes, pink cheeks, and a lip between his teeth.
“Hey.” Eddie says, soft and quiet.
“Hey yourself, Eds.” And it takes every bit of self-restrain not to grab his hand and kiss it. He steals a glance at the lovebirds a few steps away, sucking face enthusiastically. “That could be us right now.” He nudges Eddie with his elbow.
He expects more of a spluttering mess of words and cute blushing Eddie. “Who knows, maybe one day.” What he gets instead is a spluttering mess of words and stupidly red Richie.
His chin drops and he peers down at the boy at his side, who is pointedly avoiding looking back at him.
“Don’t get too excited, just trying to play your game.” Eddie mumbles between them.
“My game?”
“You know, you saying dumb stuff that makes me nervous.”
Richie doesn’t even try to hide his grin. “I think you get nervous just by me being there, I don’t even need to talk.”
That really makes Eddie blush, but he’s thankfully saved by the others approaching and dragging Ben around to see all the games they planned. Really playful things like tug of war, three legged racing, water fights, and so on. It was a way of keeping everyone moving, sweating, and entertained.
Thankfully, the hours go by without any suggestive comments or questions from the others and Richie forgets about his initial worries. They have fun, play all the games and get covered in grass stains during their three legged race tournaments. Then they rest by the sofa and the hammocks, eat a bunch of crap from Mike’s big picnic table turned into a food station and go back to playing like kids. Running around playing tag, catching their breaths in hiding spots, and wasting all the water balloons in less than 5 minutes. Most of the water guns end up breaking mid-fight, which leads Bill and Richie to use the garden hose and successfully drenching everyone in a blink of an eye. Mike wasn't pleased about it.
Later, they watch the sunset over the wheat fields of the farm and sing Ben a happy birthday under the golden light. Bev takes out a polaroid camera, Mike brings a homemade cake from the house, and Bill tries to play Richie’s guitar that was still stored in the barn. They ask him to play something for them, but Richie declines, so they go acappella and sing the wrong keys together. Richie lies down in one of the hammocks and feels wave after wave of happiness take over his body. It’s such an incredible feeling to be a part of something real, something so amazing as friendship and love.
He watches Bill lying on the ground and messing up the entire song by pretending to know how to play guitar. Looks at Stan, already changed into clean clothes and sitting on the couch, trying to make Bill stop, saying he’s ruining the song even though he himself refused to sing. Mike is sitting next to him on the couch, but backwards. Head hanging off of it and legs up in the air. Bev is down on the grass and leaning against the same tree Richie’s hammock is hanging off of. Ben is laying against her chest, cheeks so pink and smile so big Richie can’t fight off his own at the sight. They’re singing loudly and badly on purpose, laughing every few words.
When his eyes fall on Eddie, Richie realizes that the boy was already looking at him, probably for quite some time now if the soft expression on his face means anything. His head is resting on Mike’s chest, legs laying over the armrest, and he’s staring at Richie has if he had found all the answers to his questions. Richie doesn’t deserve it, he knows. But he decides to push those ugly thoughts away, he has something beautiful and worthy of stealing his attention, someone worth smiling for.
Their locked eyes swim and search from afar while the sky gets darker and the night takes over. The failed bonfire would be useful now, but the old school lanterns shared between them are enough to keep track of each other’s glowing gazes. They don’t seem to remember subtleness, but they’re just staring and their friends are singing, laughing and remembering past stories in the background.
Eddie struggles when he tries to get up, flinching at the necessary sit-up to leave the couch. All of them will be glued to their beds tomorrow with all the exercise they got today. Richie makes extra space in the hammock and helps Eddie get on it, back glued to his chest and a hug from behind. Eddie’s head falls in the space above Richie’s shoulder. And they observe their friends together in silence.
“Did you ever write a song about me?” Eddie speaks against the skin of Richie’s neck after some time. It brings out goose bumps and shivers, although that could also be from their damp clothes against the night air.
“I’ve tried.” Richie admits. He hugs Eddie’s body closer against his. “Never feels good enough.”
“I’m sure I’d love it, anyway.” Eddie tells him.
Richie chuckles and gets lost in his thoughts for a minute before talking again. “Maybe one day I’ll get it right.”
“Maybe.” Eddie agrees. “Will you play it for me?” He looks up at Richie with big eyes.
“Of course I will, Spaghetti.”
“I’ll be waiting, then.” After that, Eddie shuffles until he finds a comfortable position, the hammock sways from one side to the other as they sing along to whatever’s song they’re currently trying to play.
  It’ll take a while until Richie figures out how to write a song about Eddie. For so long he’s tried to put his emotions onto paper, but every attempt feels wrong, every try feels far from reality. He doesn’t think words do any justice to how much you can love someone.
And later, he ends up following a different path.
Instead of trying to listen to his own brain, his own version of the story, Richie listens to Eddie’s. He lets him talk and cry for hours, holds him close. Hears about every struggle and battle Eddie fought alone. Struggles and battles he didn’t recognize as such, for he was so lost he couldn’t even understand his own feelings. How he’d cry without proper reasons, feel guilty over stares, pray he wouldn’t end up in hell, apologize to an empty bedroom on the nights he couldn’t sleep.
It seems to Richie that writing about Eddie doesn’t have to mean he’ll write about the way he feels for him. It can go many different ways. And the first way it goes ends up being double-sided, for which sentence tells two different stories: his and Eddie’s. And that’s the only way it feels right.
But he’ll worry about that later. For now, they stare at the sky.
  I used to get on my knees And I'd pray for love To come find me someday For love to come meet me my way Your love hit like a brick to the face
And when I put up a fight You put me back in my place I thought I wasn't cut out for this race
You know how I feel You don't need a song But just in case
You're my lover boy, My “stay in bed under the cover” boy, My “only you and no other” boy, My face is red come smother me, boy.
Cause you’re my lover boy C’mon and meet my mother, boy You made me a little tougher, boy My life was black and white But now I see colour, boy
I used to fight things about me That were wrong, to me But then you came along And showed me Showed me where I was wrong So thank you 'Cause now I'm where I belong
You own my heart, You own my heart and it's no one else’s I fall apart And when I fall apart I'm no one else’s You own my heart You own my heart like no one else’s
Always yours
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drunklander · 5 years ago
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Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander
Thoughts on Ep. 503
Oh, Outlander. Le sigh.
On one hand, this episode gave me everything I’ve been wanting for 84 years a long time: Jamie and Claire, together, working as a team as the center of the episode. On the other hand, this very much did *not* feel like an episode of Outlander.
Bottle episodes are fine. The Garrison Commander, The Wedding and A. Malcolm were all basically bottle episodes. Two of those three are a couple of my favorite episodes of the whole series. This episode was like if the times the show decided to cosplay as a different genre (horror this time, rather than the political drama and military drama we’ve seen them attempt in the past) was dialed up to the point it no longer resembled an episode of the same show. From the music to the directing to p much everything.
This episode made me think that like if Outlander was a Venn diagram it would have Claire and Jamie working together as a team, them in the bulk of the episode, and a Good Episode™ of Outlander. You could have two but never all three.
(Also I hate horror movies. They’re just aggressively not jam.)
Ok but now that Marsali is Claire’s apprentice, can we have her and Fergus find out about time travel this season? Because in the books it’s like vaguely implied in MOBY but we never actually get to see that convo.
Also, yes, Marsali, Boston’s pretty rad. Not that I’m biased or anything. In addition to apparently “discovering” penicillin, we also invented Amurrica.
Shorter Claire’s VO: Idgaf about the timeline anymore. Don’t see how that can go wrong.
So was the blurry af title card Marsali practicing suturing? Why did they shoot it like that. It looks more like how they shot Mr. Beardsley’s POV rather than through the moldy bread covers or whatever it was through.
That whole intro part felt like it came from a different episode and was just tacked on to remind us that mold shenanigans are still a thing that is happening.
I do love Marsali, and her with Claire, though, but still.
SUPER SOFT FRASER FACE TOUCHING!
Ok so Jamie is only gonna do another cross burning when he calls his dudes to fight the English, right? Because he did the whole big thing like “I won’t light the flaming dildo again until we’re going to war” and now he’s raising the militia but not doing the fire part when they showed the new wicker dildo right there up high on the Ridge. So like, because that whole bit was about the men being loyal to him, he’s only gonna light it for freedom, right?
FLAMING DILDO OF FREEDOM
So Fergus using Claire’s list of medical tips as his note for the printer is def not going to come back to bite anyone in the ass. Nope. Def not.
Also I love that the whisky thing is Fergus’ thing in the show.
TEAM KEEP GIVING FERGUS AND MARSALI STUFF TO DO BECAUSE I LIKE THEM AND THE BOOKS FORGOT ABOUT THEM.
How many pigs is Marsali gonna butcher to practice her skillz? Also is Deadguy McWhatshisface still in the cellar somewhere?
Mr. Trouble! I love Germain a lot and would love more of him with Grannie and Grandda, pls and thx.
Also, would *love* some Bree and Marsali time. Maybe next episode while the bros are in Brownsville and they’re at the Ridge by themselves? Pretty please?
Ah yes, plantation jokes. In the time when those exist. And you’ve stayed at one. Come on, Bree.
Oh look, Jamie and Claire not keeping secrets from each other. Good. Well done, kids.
But they’re keeping it from Bree. Who, as the grown-ass woman at the center of the Bonnet bullshit, fucking deserves to know. So fuck y’all for not telling her.
She knows, I know that, but they think she doesn’t sooo, do better.
Lots of callback references from Jamie this season. The thing about his scars last week, Black Jack, the brand Claire cut off and his dad’s stroke this week. Ngl, the show is so different now that those references don’t even seem like they’re from the same series.
Gonna take this twin bit as an opportunity to remind everyone to watch Orphan Black.
Kezzie leaves-his-pants-for-the-kittens Beardsley, too good for this world. Too pure.
You come across a creepy fucking cabin in the woods, that you know is the home of a physically abusive fuckwad, and you immediately split up? Claire. Girl. You’ve seen horror movies.
OMG HAI CATS! I GOT ALL EXCITED THAT ADSO MIGHT BE ONE OF THE PANTS!KITTENS BUT ALAS. SOON. SOON, MY FLOOFER.
I fucking hate jump scares. Like I knew her face was gonna be in the window when Jamie turned back around, because this episode is the most trope-y horror short ever, but still. I fucking do not like horror movies, y’all, and jump scares are cheap.
Jamie on the other hand has never seen a horror movie and clearly doesn’t know that you DO NOT GO INTO THE CREEPY CABIN WITH THE CREEPY JUMP SCARE LADY.
Omfg with the banging door, it’s like they were like ok let’s read Making Horror Movies for Dummies and then put in ALL THE TROPES.
Also, this might be the one instance where the book name was better. Why the fuck would you name the goat Billy when Hiram is *clearly* a superior goat name.
CLAIRE. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING UPSTAIRS. YOU ARE THE GIRL WHO GETS KILLED FIRST IN THE HORROR MOVIE. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS. STOP BEING A DUMBASS.
Oh, hey, another jump scare. I’m both bored and annoyed.
Like we finally get an episode that is centered on Jamie and Claire. Together. Team Fraser. And it’s this nonsense.
I cannot with this show, tbh.
“Poor men bleed for rich men’s gold.” Two hundred and fifty fucking years later and it’s still true, Mrs. Findlay.
Did they borrow zombie noises from The Walking Dead for this episode? I swear to fuck every time Mr. Beardsley makes a noise I’m like uhhh, what show am I watching again?
“What you must have done to deserve this.” Yeah, like don’t @ me. I know abuse is fucking wrong. But you know what? This is fucked-up-past-times. Fanny’s out here by herself with no rights and no help. Go for it, girl. Fuck that fucker up.
This season on AHS: Beardsley Farm, the dulcet sounds of afterbirth squelching.
Here I was, all pleased that we were spared Breast Milk and Periodpalooza in the premiere. I should have known better. And yes, I know it’s natural and a part of childbirth, yada yada. I watch Call the Midwife and even *they* don’t fucking squelch it like that.
The subtitles spell Baltimore “Baltimoe” and now I have Another Op’nin’, Another Show from Kiss Me, Kate stuck in my head.
Is it too much to ask that the show find some way to demonstrate the past being The Worst™ that isn’t women and children getting abused or raped or murdered by shitty men? We already know men are shitty. Men are still shitty.
Like seriously, who the fuck does Mr. Beardsley think he is, murdering all his wives for not having babies, Henry VIII?!
“Having a baby doesn’t make me a mother.” Yuppppp. You do what’s best for you, Fanny.
“And your name is Sassenach.” And she’s not even like and “that’s a weird ass name.” I lowkey love Fanny Beardsley?
I still wish they skipped this whole thing though.
Omfg Jamie. BuT tHeY wOn’T bE wItH tHeIr FaMiLy. YOU *HAVE* TO KNOW CLAIRE’S RIGHT. YOU CAN’T BE THAT FUCKING THICK. NO SHIT THE FUTURE IS SAFER. Also, they’re fucking adults. They are their own family. You left Jenny. Young Ian stayed with the Mohawk. PEOPLE GROW UP AND LEAVE AND IT’S OK.
“Maybe she’s gone to find help.” Apparently Jamie *is* that thick. Really, bro? She left to find help? Really? Fucking dumbass.
“And we’ll seek Mrs. Beardsley as we travel.” “We won’t find her.” That’s a nice way of phrasing “You’re a fucking dumbass, she’s gone and claimed her freedom for the first time in her life. Let her have that, you fuckwit.”
The shot of the leaves blowing is literally like straight out of The Walking Dead.
Also loool at the birds.
Oh hey, next week we get all the dumb Brownsville stuff! And probs little to no Claire and Jamie. Exciting times.
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danwhobrowses · 4 years ago
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10 Things that would’ve Improved the Game of Thrones Final Season (For Me)
So it came to my attention that recently it was the First Anniversary of the Final Episode of HBO’s ‘Game of Thrones’. I was taken back to my memory of the BinGOT thing we had at work where we all made predictions of who lived, died and ‘won’ from the last ep (I was in 2nd or 3rd place). And since my mother has started binging it during quarantine I thought in the spirit of that environment I’d discuss a little what I would’ve changed in the final season.
Spoilers for Game of Thrones Season 8 Below, if you haven’t watched it then you’re better off not reading this frankly, if you haven’t been spoiled already at least.
So for starters, the final episode is not the worst tv I’ve ever seen, it just was a sloppy final season in general that really didn’t satisfy the 2 years of hype waiting for it, it’s like with the How I Met Your Mother finale, but that annoyance being more than one episode. But without further ado here are 10 things I would’ve changed about the final season Note: Most will involve the finale. The first 2 episodes were great.
10 - Ten Episodes The Long Night was 1 episode, the LONG NIGHT. A Culmination of the army of living and dead confined into one episode. One of the main problems with the final season was that the pacing was a bit rushed, it made character progression seem unnatural and dropped long-built plot points like water through a sieve. With 10 episodes, which was not a big ask given that this was the usual number and the gravitas of it being the final season would easily allow it to be green lit. D&D immediately backed themselves into a corner by giving a limit they weren’t used to and too much content to put in.
9 - Bite of the Spider Varys’ death was an upsetting start of the penultimate episode, while I would’ve loved him to have survived start to end and potentially ended on top (because he’s never shown to be as cunning or dangerous as he is in the books) there was some sense in him dying. However, Varys was shown sending a letter before his arrest and that never came back up, the finale could’ve used this by revealing to the public Jon’s true heritage, which would’ve immediately undermined Dany’s claim and set up a better conflict. Also we never knew what the voice in the flames said to him...
8 - A More Fitting Long Night While everyone probably popped hard for Arya killing the Night King, myself included, the nature of it was rather abrupt. I don’t think anyone can buy that she sneaked past that entire army. I do feel like the Night King was just a MacGuffin for the Long Night, given that he did so little in the actual fight. This is where a multi-part Long Night would’ve been key as well, going from the Night King being immune to Dragonfire to dying a bit later was not a good pace, and we lacked any conflict with Jon like we teased twice, Arya probably wasn’t the most poetic person to kill him either but GoT seldom did poetic deaths (Joffrey, Cersei, Euron). While the Long Night had exemplary deaths like Theon, Lyanna, Jorah and Beric, the Night King fell among the ranks of Melisandre and Edd in terms of meh deaths. The Long Night should’ve been a bigger bloodbath than it was, half the Dothraki somehow survived remember, we didn’t get to see Ghost fight at all either, no giant spiders, a lot of the tension was lost with the way some fight scenes were filmed; it was too easy to read between the lines and not enough characters had any true ‘oh god this person could die’ scenes.
7 - Resolution for the Characters we didn’t See and Plots unresolved With so much funding and finality in the show, there felt like there could’ve been more stuff that could’ve been resolved; what was the Quaith’s prophecy about? What really happened with the Doom of Valyria? Why does Dragonglass and Valyrian steel kill White Walkers? What is Daario doing after Dany died? Were the Faceless Men really that okay with letting Arya wander around knowing their skillset? Nobody hired them to help in the war either. What happened to the remnants of that warlock dude who stole the baby dragons, they sent one scorpion and that’s it, what happens with the Little Birds now that they’re leaderless? Who was Azor Ahai? What were the spirals about? There are a lot of questions the show kinda just, ignored. 
6 - The Mad Queen So, Dany going from ‘I’ll stop if they surrender’ to ‘Burn them fucking all’ was abrupt for many, the majority of fans were not ready or willing to accept turning on their Kaleesi in just one episode. While I could see the conclusion coming from being jumped, losing another ‘child’ and her closest friend as well as her new boyfriend being her nephew and a legitimate threat to her legitimacy despite already pledging fealty, Dany’s descent could’ve used more time, and less naivety.  While the death of the dragon was a huge shock, the idiocy fell on Dany in thinking that Cersei would play fair and wouldn’t try to occupy Dragonstone while she abandoned it. There also fell inconsistency when the same fleet and rows of Scorpion crossbows suddenly got Stormtrooper aim during ‘The Bells’. Euron is a renowned sailor, he ruined a Dornish fleet in a previous season, he may be an annoying bastard but you have to treat his naval tactics with a bit more respect - and make Dany less stupid with Cersei doing Cersei things. A lot of people definitely needed more time in buying the idea that Dany had lost her cool and that she blamed all of Westeros to justify burning everyone unashamedly.
5 - Proper Redemption We all know who we’re talking about. Jaime, Jaime, Jaime. In the end he just proved Olenna’s point didn’t he? And his turn away from redemption was only to serve as an example point for Tyrion to use to convince Jon to kill Dany. Jaime didn’t have to live, but he didn’t have to die rushing to Cersei’s rescue, or even due to Euron stabbing him. If anything Jaime should’ve died with some Honour, to be the inverse of Ned as he was presented in Season 1.
4 - My Lady does not have to mean M’Lady This is probably the most selfish ones of my 10 but as a shipper at my very heart and soul I wanted one, at least one, ship to survive this entire turmoil and Gendry and Arya were that couple. We almost had it as well, but then for some mad reason D&D decided that Gendry, despite literally saying that “none of it will be worthwhile if you’re not with me”, stayed in Storm’s End. Arya’s character endgame was right in her venturing off not being bound by the fact that she’s a noble, but Gendry spent a lot of time not caring that he was of Kingsblood to basically being his Father’s son. He’ll rule Storm’s End, marry some woman to have kids, but he’ll still have fallen into the same pit as King Robert did. It would’ve been much more satisfying and hopeful if Gendry abandoned the titles and land he never wanted or needed to accompany someone he loves and who loves him back on an adventure into the unknown. She’s not a ‘lady’ if she’s only marrying a blacksmith and love is the death of duty.
3 - Sansa is NOT Smart (and gets what she actually deserves) Right. So I really, really didn’t like Sansa. Like, I get it, she got held hostage by the Lannisters, watched her father get beheaded, got accused of murder, learned that her brother and mother died, watched the guy who fancied her mother and kissed her kill her aunt and then got effectively sold to an abuser in an arranged marriage. But Sansa is not the smartest player in the game, it was annoying that they tried to portray her as one, she had one idea that anyone could’ve told you ‘don’t be stupid against Ramsay Bolton’. She spent all of Season 8 mainly giving side eye like a petty bitch, completely trying to undermine Dany despite the two being very very similar (remember Dany was raped, sold off in an arranged marriage and watched family members get killed too) to the point where she was conspiring for Jon to usurp her. And in reality she took her ball and left, she was so pissy that the leaders didn’t pick her to be Queen of Westeros that she literally pointed out her own brother’s infertility, claimed that the North wouldn’t bow to a monarch, then declared herself Queen.  Hide the ‘Yas Queen’ goggles for a sec, this wasn’t empowering she was throwing her own brother under the bus because she wanted to be queen, and she learned far too much from Littlefinger and Cersei’s playbook to actually be a just one. The North is allowed to be an independent nation, but Sansa’s ‘victory’ was more earned by virtue of a lot of shit happened to her than her actually demonstrating qualities to be queen.
2 - Bran Stark can’t come to the Phone right now... While we’re on the subject of Stark children not being fit rulers, Bran. What a cockamamie decision that was. I was 100% behind the destruction of the Iron Throne, but the chorus of laughter with a democratic rule was a bit of a slap in the face. Of all the choices though, Bran had to be near the bottom, it felt completely unearned that he spent literal seasons disconnecting from the world even to the point where he told Meera and Sam that Bran Stark is no longer here anymore only for Bran Stark to magically resurface when a crown is in waiting. I think it defeats the whole Three Eyed Raven thing too, the guy isn’t really one for the people, which is the problem every other ruler before him failed at. If you can’t pick a just person to lead, then why not a council instead? Just using Bran was a poor and messy decision.
1 - THE MOTHERFUCKING VALONQUAR One of the few expectations across all of Game of Thrones was the wondering over whether Cersei was gonna get what’s coming to her, the Maggy the Frog prophecy was going along quite well up until the Valonquar bit, where the younger sibling that was going to choke the life out of her was: bricks. BRICKS! Of all the long-winded prophecy foreshadowings to drop this one was the worst, Cersei (and Jaime) died in underwhelming, thoughtless fashion, the lack of fanfare on killing off one of the best and most ‘love to hate’ villains in the show only cemented the fact that the finale was not able to live up to the hype. True, most of these are small changes, but it’s worth remembering that there was some good coming out of the final season and it was the lack of those little things and attention to detail that led to the season ending on an underwhelming note.
We did however get a good ton of memes out of it, and at work a long-winded discussion on who should get the ‘winner’ 5-points (compared to the 1 correct points) since we had technically agreed that the 5 points goes to “whoever correctly guesses who sits on the Iron Throne” XD I still can’t believe I was right in Drogon melting the throne though that was one in a million
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expression-in-its-essence · 5 years ago
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The Goldfinch movie.
7 min 26 secs in : Why the fuck did they start the movie like that. Why didn't the explosion take place? Theo's mom's apartment? His anxiety? Also.. why do they keep cutting the scenes abruptly? They ain't tweets... No limit.. then??
8 min 2 sec in : Okay they went to the apartment. Audrey's sweater deserved more screen time. The lipstain on the mug in focus *chef's kiss* poetic cinema!
9 min 19 sec in : Do you see what I see? Tom Cable's face has a stark resemblance to Boris's face. Did Theo have a crush on him?
9 min 54 sec in : Mr Barbour's hand is shaking. I like that they put it in there. He was sick. Nice. (I'd imagined Audrey's apartment building entrance like they showed the Barbour's apartment building entrance. Wild.)
11 min 8 sec in : Don't shove it into his face that y'all are fancy okay? He's not used to that life style. He didn't have maids making his bed. ARE YOU GIVING HIM DRUGS, MRS BARBOUR? But you just glared at your husband for offering him the same sort of thing?? Oh God. Poor child. "it's perfectly understandable" my ass. You gave him meds just because your sleep was getting affected.
14 min 39 sec : Woah woah woah Theo wtf you're so smol how'd you do that? Also... Again. The frame of Theo and Tom standing close and Theo and Boris standing close when they kissed, Theo is wearing the same damn sweater.
16 min 58 sec in : Ayyyy Jeffery Wright!
20 min 33 sec in : "He drank a lot", Theo about his dad. Honey just wait up, you will too. (The grilled sandwich and the cute lil smile 😍 also this is the first time since the movie started that Oakes' voice isn't deep.)
23 min 54 sec in : Wizard of Oz poster, I see you!
24 min 19 sec in : I love how Oakes is expressing being caught off guard. Theo knows he did something bad and every time he's dealing with something he didn't expect to deal with, he's like OMG THEY KNOW ABOUT THE PAINTING AND IM FUCKED even if no one knows.
25 min 1 sec in : The glasses made a difference. He went from mature to cute. Angry bird to angry birb.
25 min 44 sec in : Another sweater? Or was this THE sweater of Audrey? (Off topic but Oakes is hella cute. I could murder anyone who hurts him.)
29 min 9 sec in : Pippa doesn't remember or doesn't wanna remember? There was something in her eyes that was hard to read. Also, why doesn't anyone say 'I'm sorry about your mom' to Theo? Do Americans not care? It's weird to see no response when he tells people that Audrey is dead.
31 min 17 sec in : "The Goldfinch, destroyed"? Then why is Theo upset. Good riddance. Oh yeah. I know why. It's Donna Tartt we're talking about.
32 min 39 sec in : Hobie just casually predicting the future. "It's only fake if you pass it on as an original". Theo's like, "noted, gonna do exactly that".
34 min 16 sec in : Why does Theo write like a five year old child? That's toddler handwriting! And omg all the Andy-prom-dress memes are making sense now. (Also did I mention that Mrs Barbour seems more selfish in the film than she does in the book. Like hey I'm putting up with this kid because he helps my kid. He's serving a purpose for me. What the hell.) (How old is Andy anyway? He looks younger than Theo. I think he's different. Didn't grow up like other kids. That was mentioned in the book right?)
35 min 20 sec in : Ayyy Hobie's earring!
35 min 49 sec in : He shopped for himself? Nice! Didn't know kids could shop without adult supervision in the West. (Because they can't in the East.)
35 min 50 sec in : Ayyyy Sarah Paulson! Damn she's hot. How can you dislike her? *heart eyes*
37 min 30 sec in : I can't bring myself to hate Luke Wilson since Skeleton Twins but SHUT THE FUCK UP LARRY! AUDREY DESERVED BETTER. Look at how Larry and Xandra are looking at the place like they're vultures.
39 min 34 sec : They got the airport scene right. STOP GIVING HIM DRUGS WTH IS WRONG WITH THE ADULTS IN THIS MOVIE!
41 min 12 sec in : Ayyy Popper!!!!!
43 min 27 sec in : It just dawned on Theo that he's alone. Oh god. My poor baby.
45 min 12 sec in : Let me take this moment to say that Ashleigh Cummings is pretty. And I finally get why y'all were pissed at the non linear storyline and the weird voiceovers. Guess I'd been prepared for that so it didn't really suck that much.
49 min 30 sec in : I'd imagined Boreo reunion like the Platt Theo reunion. In the day. Dang it. Also... Adult Platt Barbour was not supposed to be good looking? In the book?
55 min 34 sec in : Without context, none of it could make sense. Apologies to whoever didn't read the book beforehand. Crowley fucked this up.
58 min in : Ayyyy Finn Wolfhard! BORIS IS HERE AND IM SO EXCITED IDK WHY
1 hour in : It's such a Boris thing to leave the bag unzipped.
1 hour 3 min 20 sec in : Slumdog Millionaire's Jai Ho (2008) is playing in the background. The only song that I've recognized so far. Wow. Lets me know about the time setting. Nice.
1 hr 3 min in : Someone gif " That cost twenty dollars!" *Stare* "That would have cost twenty dollars!"
1 hr 8 min in : So Boris's room is exactly like I had imagined but Theo's room isn't. Boris just mentioned Kotku though.
1 hr 9 min 14 sec in : Isn't it hella hot in Vegas? Why are they wearing sweaters? Or does drug intake make you more vulnerable to the environment?
1 hr 10 min 15 sec in : Xandra Theo argument : gold. "Cocktail sausages that you like." I wanna laugh in Crowley's face. What was he thinking?? Omg I'm dying.
1 hr 11 min 17 sec in : The slap sound didn't work??
1 hr 13 min 53 sec in : I like serious Boris better.
1 hr 14 min in : The slum house Audrey dream thing was not in the book. That's an entirely new addition.
1 hr 18 min 26 sec in : The Welty Theo scene is awesome. The sound effects work. I feel suffocated. The ambulance noise fiasco is also nicely pulled off. (also Theo's Yellow bag was dirty af then how did it get all clean when he didn't even do anything to it?)
1 hr 20 min 57 sec in : Shhhh Potter.
1 hr 22 min in : Holy shit he got slapped twice!! Ouch! And Larry's audacity to tell Theo to stop with the crying?? Good thing he died. Asshole.
1 hr 25 min in : "You don't tell me a lot of things but that's okay". I see what you did there, Boris. Which was of course, I love you.
1 hr 26 min in : "Act normal" - Theo knows his way around drugs pretty well, doesn't he?
1 hr 30 min in : "No family No friends" line punched me in the face. (Also awww popchik's excuse was the last resort for Boris to make Theo stay.)
1 hr 31 min 17 sec in : That pause after "What do you have to tell me?". You can clearly see Boris struggling to hold something back. Which was of course, I love you.
1 hr 31 min 34 sec in : What the fuck is that music? Oh heyyyyyy they kissed!-- he fucking runs away?? Also what kind of a kangaroo runs like that? (Yes, the taxi driver watched. I don't have to wonder anymore.) (They didn't address why he took the bus instead of flying?)
1 hr 33 min in : I didn't imagine Welty's room like that at all. Also why doesn't Hobie seem happy to see Theo again?
1 hr 35 min in : Longer stretches of one storyline are kinda bearable. From drugs in storage unit to waking up beside Kitsey. We got Vegas and Young Theo. Nice. (Also, who the heck puts jewelry in shoes? Is Theo that dumb? And now I can't think of anything else than Boris piercing his ear for the emerald earring. Tumblr has fucked it up bad.)
1 hr 43 min in : They nailed the Kitsey Theo confrontation.
1 hr 44 min in : Ayyy Ozma of Oz!
1 hr 48 min in : I noticed it before but I wasn't sure... Now I am. Pippa has Welty's ring. On her finger. At all times. (also, is NYC always that noisy? Must suck to walk on the roads.)
1 hr 52 min 23 sec in : They nailed the Theo Pippa date. What's that song playing in the background? I want the name. It's almost like two hours and I still haven't seen Aneurin Barnard once. Why! (Jerome's mentioned in the movie btw.)
1 hr 52 min 51 sec in : Complained too soon. Boris is sat in the dark doing god knows what. My man Aneurin is here!
1 hr 53 min 37 sec in : BOREO REUNIONNNNNN - no don't look at me like that I only watched it thrice.
1 hr 56 min in : Boris saying "it's someone else" with a knowing look and Theo looking at him. The frickin yearning.
1 hr 57 min in : Boris is like you're unhappy, I'm here, we're both rich, let's f*ck. "We could"... What are you suggesting dude he's repressed!
1 hr 58 min in : "you unwrapped it and showed it to me." So many meanings. The heart, the love the soul... Wow. Good for you, screen play writers! ( It's kinda hilarious how Boris got mad at Theo for never quote unquote fucking opening it.)
2 hr 1 min in : I'm calling it. They're going to fuck up the Theo Hobie confrontation. They put it on the wrong time. And they also fucked up the text from the book.
2 hr 5 min 48 sec in : Even Platt is saving his sister's face. Also where did Todd go? Did he never grow up? I wish Mrs Barbour didn't use Theo like she did.
2 hr 7 min in : The frame where Boris is between Kitsey and Theo. Chef's kiss.
2 hr 10 min 54 sec in : *intense music playing* Boris put his leg up on the table and I burst into laughter THOSE ARE THE FAMOUS FUCK ME PUMPS.
2 hr 11 min in : AAAAA THE FOREHEAD TOUCH AAAAAAA (Theo just knows without looking that Boris is close enough to touch? Theo are you sure you don't feel feelings for him?)
2 hr 12 min in : Theo is so worried that I'm not sure if it's for Boris or for losing the painting again. Omg he just murdered a man. Oh god.
2 hr 14 min in : Theo is spiralling. In the movie they imply that Hobie played a part in him attempting suicide. So wrong. Poor Hobie. In the book that wasn't the case.
2 hr 15 min in : The transition of the Goldfinch into Audrey, wow. Also, is it the first time we're seeing her? The movie started so long ago that I've forgotten if I saw Theo and Audrey in the museum. Boris following right after Audrey? That's a subliminal message. Boris is here to rescue y'all.
2 hr 16 min in : No shit Boris is freaking out right now.
2 hr 17 min in : The diner scene. They're both crying. "Happy Christmas, Potter" - which was of course, I love you.
2 hr 18 min in : No don't you dare compare Audrey and Mrs Barbour. Audrey would never drug her child or use him for her benefit.
2 hr 20 min in : Poor kid bumps into his mom lol. I found it funny.
On the whole
The movie was nice if you'd read the book beforehand. The first hour was steak, The second hour was Korean BBQ and the rest of the twenty minutes were minced beef. If you get what I mean. Weird analogy. It could have been much better. But it was really very nice in some places. Most places I'd say.
I didn't like how the pop songs ruined the mood of certain moments. I didn't like how you couldn't hear the conversation over the music playing. For example in the engagement party when Platt and Theo talked. Or in the diner scene.
Both Borises killed the accent thing. They tried their best. Cut them some slack.
Oakes deserves an Oscar for holding up this movie on his smol shoulders. I was shook at how a kid could act that well.
Popchik deserved more screen time. I'm still pissed they didn't add the Popchik Boris reunion. But then they couldn't make it chronological, what were we supposed to expect anyway.
Ansel Elgort y'all. Theo sure improved his handwriting lol. Ansel's writing is nice. He was actually good in this movie. Better than he was in The Fault In Our Stars. The internet is just mean. The critics too. I will never understand the hate.
All in all, it could have been a better adaptation but it didn't suck as bad as everyone made it out to be. John Clownery should be punished nonetheless. Special shout-out to Roger Deakins for making it work.
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twilightofthe · 5 years ago
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Chapter Four liveblog of The Mandalorian!  Let’s go!!!
This title is just “Sanctuary”, it bothers me that this one doesn’t start with “The ___” like the other ones do ;p
Fish shrimp things!!!
Aww village!!!!
Oh no this is too peaceful when are they gonna get attacked
Aaaand there go the birds 
What’s coming?
Surprise surprise bad guys
Pirate raiders of some sorts
Clever mom, tho I’m guessing she’s gonna die
Oh they look like Tolkien orcs
Oh boy Mando Man’s gonna come save them!
BABY YODA IT’S BABY YODA
LOOK AT THEM PRESSING BUTTONS
CUTE BABY I LOVE THEM
Man-dad-lorian: “stop touching things”
LITTLE SHIT TOUCHED SOMETHING AGAIN I LOVE BABY YODA
HE’S HOLDING THEM OH MY GOOOOOSH LOK THAT’S ADORABLE
HE’S TALKING TO THEM
US
LITTLE WOMP RAT
THIS IS IT I HAVE DIED.  TOO CUTE.  
FAR FAR FAR TOO CUTE IMMA REWIND AND WATCH THAT WHOLE THING AGAIN
I MELTED
HIS VOICE IS SO TENDER
L I T T L E  W O M P  R A T
I wanna marry him, I just adore how he talks to the baby, this is killing me
Jeez look how much I’ve typed and we’re only 5 minutes in
BABY VOICE.  I LOVE LOVE LOVE HIS BABY VOICE HOW HE SPEAKS TO THEM
Ok ok ok I’m done
NO I’M NOT BABY FOLLOWED HIM
GAHHHH LOK AT BABY TODDLING ALONG
Mmm that kebab looks pretty good
Hey shiny butt you stick out like a sore thumb
THIS EPISODE WANTS TO KILL ME THAT IS A MOTHERFUCKING.  LIVE ACTION.  LOTHCAT/TOOKA.  RED ALERT.  RED ALERT.  HOW DID THEY KNOW I FUCKING LOVE LOTHCATS.  THIS IS A PERSONAL ATTACK
I’M SUING
Oh hey it’s pretty girl!!  His girlfriend!!!!
Or she’s gonna be his girlfriend anyway.
She’s so pretty!!!
Awww boi’s asking about the pretty girl xD
Wait so this dude doesn’t eat in public when does he eat
LOOK BRO NICE STRANGERS DO NOT NECESSARILY MAKE GOOD BABYSITTERS NO MATTER HOW FRIENDLY THEY SEEM MR CHILD ENDANGERMENT
Ok Mando Man absolutely has to have some Force Sensitivity, I’ll bet money on it, the way he just senses stuff about her.
Awww love at first kick
Yo she’s beating up on Beskar pretty well noice
BRO WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AND FLAMING PEOPLE
THE FUCKING BABY SLORPING I’M WHEEZING
YOU WANT SOME SOUP?
THAT’S IT THEIR NEW SHIPNAME IS SOUP BUDDIES
So she’s a mercenary
“Another round” ohohohoho ;) ;) ;)
Awww poor dudes do want him to help!
Space krill?  Huh
Oh yea guilt him over it he’s a real softie xD
Theeeere we go
MORE FLIRTING
Ohhh she’s ex-shock trooper
I get you Baby Yoda, I third wheel a lot too
Oh yeah us too kiddos we all love the Babu
Awww he’s so polite <3
...uuuuuntil he scares a ten year old nice going xD
THE MUSIC IS SO STAR WARS-Y
ALERT ALERT THE BABY HAS A CRIB I’M DYING
Oh!  She’s feeding them/him?  I’m mellllllting!!!
CONCERNED PAPA ;_;
Oh so he does actually wash his hair thank goodness Pedro is too pretty for greasy helmet head
Oh nvm he must be so pale under his helmet xD
Oh wow so he wasn’t an official Mando until he was taken in there goes my theory
HELMET! IS! OFF!
Wait which ones are the AT-ST’s again?  Are they big big ones?
C’mon lady a bunch of Ewoks beat a walker before, give ‘em a chance!
“Unless we show them how” ah so this is another Seven Samurai-inspired ep like that one TCW one, RIP Kurosawa
Yay Home Alone booby traps!
OH YOU GO LADY SHOOT EM
See Anakin, it is actually possible to teach a bunch of villagers stick fighting without twirling it around like a showoffy dumbass xD
omg I’m so freakin’ proud of these people already
Wait oh nooo I kinda ship Mando Man with village lady too hlep
OT3 TIME YEET
Aight ppl let’s get em
Ooo what’s cookin’?
So these bombs make music huh?
Yussss kick ass babes
OH JEEZ THAT WALKER SCARED ME IT LOOKS LIKE A DAMN DEMON
FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY’S ASS SHIT WHAT THE FUCK EXCUSE ME
Baby Yoda Will Protect The Children
Ugh The Cinnamontography
It’s actually like an old monster movie I adore this
And of course it’ll miss the trap
Yep there it is
Wait is that thing fucking sentient
Shit it is
IT’S AN ACTUAL MONSTER I LOVE THIS IT’S LIKE JURASSIC PARK MEETS PIRATES
Hmm a Jedi would be useful for dealing with the walker rn
Take out the legs
GET ‘IM GIRLIE
Oh I think brave village lady is gonna help get it
“Choke on this you ugly-”
Got em!
Gah I loved everything about this episode
Look out froggie Baby’s gonna eat ya
Yup
No!  Don’t bully Baby out of his food!!!
She’s so considerate of his culture I love this
DON’T YOU LEAVE BABY ALONE HERE MANDO MAN
Hmmm someone’s a little interested in Mando Man’s love life... >:3
GOD DAMN IT MANDO MAN NO I KNEW IT
DON’T LEAVE YOUR BOY
NOOOOOOOO
Can’t believe I’m saying this, I feel atrocious, but as long as there’s bounty hunters after Baby, Mando Man has to keep him!!!
Awww honey no they can’t be together but now I’m sad this lady deserves all the happiness ;_;
Oooooof ouch secondhand embarrassment rejection oof oof ouchhhhh
OH NO THAT SNIPER BETTER NOT SHOOT HER
STAY AWAY FROM BABY YOU FUCKING SHIT
Ok phew phew he’s fine
THANK YOU SO MUCH ROGUE LADY I’LL MARRY YOU
Guess Baby just has to stay with Mando Man for a bit! :D
Isn’t her name Cara or something?  I like her ^.^
Awww kiddo, I’d miss Baby Yoda too :(
Oh honey I’m sorry your mans is leaving, I’ll marry you instead!!!!
Awww wave bye bye!
Bahaha here I was comparing this to Jurassic Park and freaking Bryce Dallas Howard directed this ep, omg I love her
This ep was amazing yus
So I loved everything about this episode because I am ridiculously easy to please and I love the old samurai flicks and I love monster movies and the Clone Wars ep (why the flying fuck can’t I remember the name it was the one with Obi + Ani + Ahsoka on Felucia with the farmers and then Hondo fuck what was it called) that went kinda like this is one of my favorites and gah merc lady! (Cara?  Her name is definitely Cara, right?)  Omg I know we haven’t gotten any info on Cara yet, but I love that she’s got some softness too, that she doesn’t fall into the new “Strong Woman(TM)” trope where a woman can have no heart and must just beat up and shoot stuff and look hot while doing it.  I’m super excited to see more of her!!!
Just overall, great ep, loved it, can’t wait for more <3
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wheremytwinwatches · 4 years ago
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[Where My Twin Watches]: Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood Episode 16
Work continues to drive me crazy, so of course I make my life more complicated by getting online classes set up for the fall. That, and I kinda don’t want to see our babies learn about Hughes. Blissful ignorance, am I right? *sigh* Onwards with Brotherhood.
Do we have captions this time? We do! Awesome, it was so irritating last time not knowing if I was mangling names or not. We’ve got the second intro featuring the Xing contingent, curious how influential it’ll be having a foreign prince bopping along with the Elrics. (Also, I continue to be juvenile and giggle at one of the lyrics in the new song being “shite”. Hee.) We open up with a bird's-eye view of Central, then with Ed yawning at the train station. Al mentions that being spied on for hours is pretty tiring. Right, Ling’s ninja squad don’t trust the Elrics. But where’s the Prince? The Ninjas proceed to freak the heck out, Fu runs around the traintops calling out for the young lord as Lan Fan worries about him collapsing. Is Ling fainting a common thing, then? Ed just shrugs his shoulders at the absence of the freeloader and heads off with Al and Winry. Huh, music’s getting ominous. Oh, there he is, doing a Brooding Anime Rooftop Stare on the station’s clock tower, looking towards the center of the city. [Ling]: “Something about this country doesn’t feel right.” Well, the current speculation (backed by the freaking Fuhrer being a Goth!) is that they’re sacrificing people to make Philosopher’s Stones, so… don’t know much about Xing so can’t say if they’re any better, but it’d be pretty hard for them to be worse. Episode 16 - “Footsteps of a Comrade-in-Arms” In a run-down area of the city, a car stops and the blond-haired smoking guy (Havoc?) of Roy’s crew is checking in with the grey-haired member (I’ll get their names some day, I swear), dropping off food from the colonel. Oh, guess Grey’s been guarding Barry, who cheerfully recognizes “the smokin’ guy”. Not tied up and playing chess? Are they keeping him prisoner to try and get more info or more protecting their only source? Well, I suppose for a serial killer like Barry being kept inside at night and denied any chances to chop someone up would be uncomfortable. Still, Grey’s bored with the assignment, asks how much longer it’ll be. Havoc just says that Roy apologizes for the dangerous assignment, that Grey’s absence it being treated as sick leave… and if he’s seen in public by anyone he’ll get court-martialed. Yikes, ok then. No breaks for poor Grey. Any good news? [Havoc]: “Falman, I found myself a girlfriend!” ...well that’s nice and all for you, buddy, but I think Falman (thank you!) was looking for good news for him. Poor, poor Falman. Hey, it’s Ling! Taking another impromptu nap? A couple of cops are asking if he’s ok, he whispers about food… ah, trying for another free meal? Unfortunately for Ling, the cops less interested in feeding him and more interested in seeing his entry visa. Cue irritated cops dragging a crying Prince away. [Cop 1]: “Outta the way, everyone!” [Cop 2]: “Illegal alien coming through!” The Ninjas continue to freak over the absent master, while Ed says that they should stop by the military offices. Winry… decides to go straight to the Hughes’ house. Oh boy. [Winry]: “I can’t wait to see Miss Gracia and cute little Elicia!” Uuuuuugh. Make it stooooop. The Brothers are off to meet up with Hughes himself, while they think Hughes might have been stymied by Bradley’s orders to stand down they have info on the Homunculi now (and still don’t know the Fuhrer himself is one, gah!). Off to the court-martial office! Quiet somber music as the brothers run through the park. And right by the phone booth that Hughes was murdered in. Bleh this episode is not going easy. In the office, Sheska’s carrying around some books when another lady officer asks for a key to Room #3. Which freaks Sheska out, and she babbles about cleaning up the mess first? What, have you made that your private reading lair or something? Nope, not your lair it seems, but Colonel Mustang’s private napping chamber. Yikes, hope you had an alarm set, and it only wasn’t Sheska waking you that kept you from being late to a freaking Council Meeting. Wait, Council? I don’t think I’ve heard of that group before, I’m just assuming by the tendency for Anime Councils to be Big Deals that it’s the same in the FMA universe. The highest-ranking officers of the military? Sheska worries that Roy’s not getting enough sleep, he just waves her off and goes to the meeting. Staying up late doing research on the conspiracy, I gue- GAH new voice! Sheska freaks and identifies them as Captain Focker, who asks about the open storeroom and what Roy was doing. Uh oh, a watcher sent by Bradley? Double uh oh, in her concern for Roy’s state Sheska is telling Focker about how he seems to be researching the Fifth Laboratory. And the Hughes case. Bleeeeeh, more Hughes feels as Sheska gets sad about her getting her job through Hughes. Captain Focker walks away deep in thought, glasses obscuring his eyes. Uh oh. But then the looks up in surpr- That’s Captain Focker! Oh my Leto, that’s the real Captain Focker! Real Focker’s too busy looking at some piece of paper to notice a shapechange and red electricity as Envy takes on a new disguise. Shapeshifters: A security nightmare.
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But it looks like Envy might have made a mistake, as Real!Focker’s now saying good morning to Sheska, who is rightly confused. A simple “Laugh at this clueless character” moment, or a break for the good guys? Roy’s washing up in a bathroom for this Council Meeting, takes a moment to stare mournfully into the mirror- until with a flush of a toilet his angsting is interrupted by The Mighty Armstrong, glinting manfully in his bandages while towering over the stall door. Hah! Armstrong remarks that Roy looks a bit peakish, who asks why Armstrong is bandaged. Oh right, Armstrong was involved in killing all of Greed’s human-chimera crew down South. He mentions that he ran into the Elrics down there, on their visit to their old teacher. But he couldn’t bring himself to tell them about Hughes. Armstrong makes his way out- [Roy]: “The Fifth Laboratory and the Philosopher’s Stone; the Stone’s key ingredients are live humans.” Armstrong comes to a halt. Roy continues about how Hughes died following up on the Elric brothers’ investigation, and how if/when they find out they’ll blame themselves. He says Armstrong not telling them was kind, and Armstrong compliments him on figuring out so much. But warns him that he never knows who might be listening. Riza’s waiting out in the hallway when Ed walks up and says hi, although he’s not as happy when Roy joins them. Oh yeah, Elric didn’t know about Roy’s promotion. Now if he’s hanging out in Central it’ll be the same place as good old Colonel Mustang. The sarcasm in Ed’s “Great” is astounding. As for the Elrics, they’re just doing some information gathering. And might pay Hughes a visit later in the day. Where is he, anyway? Roy… says that Hughes retired. Went out to the country with his family to run the family business. Really, dude? I get that it’s a sore subject, but the “he went out to the farm” excuse only works for so long. They deserve to know what happened. Well, with the false story the boys think that they should tell Winry, they spin around only to run into Lieutenant Ross. She asks about the rush, Ed mentions that they heard about Hughes… and Ross isn’t in on the “tell them the farm story” excuse. Oh boy. Uuuugh, the two conversations sliding right past each other here is painful! And here’s the kicker: [Al]: “He retired to the country and they promoted him?” Ross realises she did a no-no, covers her mouth to keep from saying anything else. And Ed realizes the truth. Mid-episode cards: Captain Focker with an Envy silhouette behind him, and a downcast Gracia Hughes on the second. Notable for both Narrator “Full-Metal Alchemists” being the sad, somber one. Out in the city, Winry’s shopping for apples, presumably to give to the Hughes’ family. And Ed races out of the building after hearing the new. [Lt. Ross]: “Brigadier General Hughes is dead… He was murdered shortly after you were discharged from the hospital, Edward. I’m afraid we still haven’t found the person responsible.” As he runs and cries, Ed blames himself for pulling Hughes into the investigation. Flashes of Happy Hughes and his family, a memory of Hughes seeing them off at the train station and inviting them to drop by again, hosting dinner, first meeting them and inviting them to his home… Al catches up with the suitcase and then stands there silently as Ed slumps against the wall. And now we’re with Winry, who’s arriving at the apartment. The door swings open- [Elicia]: “Daddy?!” Oh no, that’s fine. I didn’t need that heart anyway, go ahead and use it as a footrest show. The Elrics have arrived at the apartment building, when Al asks what they should do Ed tells him to go back, that he’s “the only one who has to take the blame for what happened.” Oh my Leto kid you have enough self-imposed guilt from Mama Elric and Nina, stop taking the weight of the world on your shoulders! Al argues that it’s on both of them, and double all my protests that Ed does not deserve this for his little brother as well. Ed tries to dissuade Al again- [Al]: “We made up our minds; We said we were getting our bodies back, no matter what. But if people are going to die because of that… then I don’t want mine back.”
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Freaking A, Al. I cannot overstate how much damn respect I feel for you right now. You are a poor boy, trapped in a cold metal body from a horrible accident. Getting your body back has been your driving purpose, along with healing your brother. But when you discovered that the cost of making a Philosopher’s Stone was human sacrifice, you discarded the method. And when you discover that a friend has died in the process of helping your investigation, you are fully prepared to renounce your goal in order to protect others. I salute your selflessness. Gracia opens the door, and gives the Elrics the same sad smile that she gave Winry, telling the brothers that Winry’s already arrived. The mechanic’s sitting quietly in a chair with Elicia curled in her lap, she looks up with Ed quietly enters. Ed then asks to talk to Gracia and Winry about Maes. The quiet sad theme starts playing as Gracia recaps the Elrics’ message; that Hughes looked into the Philosopher’s Stone, and was killed as a warning against the brothers. Gracia looks down at sleeping Elicia, as Ed bows his head in grief and gasps out “sorry” again and again. [Gracia]: “That would be just like him, dying while trying to help someone else.” The Trio look up in surprise. [Gracia]: “My husband. He always was a busybody and a meddler, and it got him into trouble. A lot. But you know… I don’t think he ever had regrets. Not any… not even in his dying moments, Edward.” So many people to respect in this episode, seriously. Al being prepared to give up on getting his body back, and Gracia insisting that they can’t give up, or else Hughes died in vain. With a little smile, even. Forget about the dead end of the Stone, there still might be another way. [Gracia]: “You boys have to keep moving forward… any way you can.” The door closes as the Trio exit the apartment, Ed turns to look at the others- [Elicia]: “Mommy?... Mommy, please don’t cry.” ...damn you, show. Later in the day now, the sun is setting as the Trio walk through the streets to a sweeping cello melody. The Elrics see Winry to a hotel room, and then go to their own. Right, because they… used to stay at the Hughes’ residence. Winry’s quietly resting on her bed, Al’s sitting in the living room, and Ed’s downstairs in the restaurant too upset to eat. Now he’s knocking on Winry’s door, asking if she’s eaten yet, and she should hurry because the dining room is closing soon. The parallels are strong here: when they were children the Rockbell’s fed the Elrics, and now Ed’s trying to make sure Winry keeps up her strength now. When Winry doesn’t make a move Ed excuses himself to his room, but Winry grabs his automail hand. Aw, aw no. She still has the basket of apples she was planning to take to the Hughes’ family. Seems she was planning to make apple pie. And had hoped that Mr. Hughes would get to try some too. Winry cries as the screen fades to black. WOW OK talk about rough transitions, we’ve got Chimeras in cages. And eff you it’s the Goths, Lust leaning on Gluttony as she talks with still-disguised Envy. Now they know that Roy’s been looking into the matter, and may have found some things out. Lust gripes that they orchestrated Roy’s move to Central to keep a closer eye on him, and it’d be a waste to lose an important sacrifice candidate. Wait… [Envy]: “Haven’t been able to learn anything from your new boyfriend?” Aw hell no, I’d thought that Havoc gushing about having a girlfriend was just a little joke at the beginning of the episode, like a running gag about his relationships or something. You’re telling me Lust is playing Havoc? Run dude, run! Lust goes off to gather more info, calls for Gluttony like a loyal little attack dog. Envy chides Gluttony for leaving some bones scattered around… but then gets an idea. Uh oh, we’ve got string music as Envy suggests making another “play”, giving Roy a bone to chew. What are you up to? We’re at what appears to be a cafeteria now, when someone comes up and taps Lieutenant Ross on the shoulder, introducing himself as Henry Douglas from the Provost Marshal’s office. Flanked by goons, he says that Ross has to come along with them, and demands her gun? Wait, is Ross being arrested? Brosh, where the heck are you, come defend your partner! Whoa whoa what?! They’re accusing Ross for Hughes’ murder?! What the heck, how can you make that claim? What evidence do you have for that absurd claim? Besides… well, besides the shapeshifter accosting Hughes in the phone booth while looking like you… uh oh. Riza is updating Roy on the situation, saying that Ross (man, there are a lot of R-characters involved in this case, huh?) is pleading not-guilty on all charges. The Flame Alchemist just tells Riza to gather all the info on the suspect that she can, secretly. Dramatic string music continues as we see Havoc buying some flowers and then running along to his “hot date”, stubbing out his cigarette as yup, “Solaris” is Lust. Who demurely asks Havoc to sit down and tell her about his day. AAAAAAARGH! Ok then! Was putting off this episode because I knew there would be Feels about Hughes, and damn if it didn’t deliver. But like Gracia said, they can’t let Hughes’ death be in vain, and they can hardly just give up and let the killer go free. Speaking of, framing Ross? As if I didn’t have enough reasons to hate you jerks, Goths! Ugh, this is gonna get complicated, isn’t it?
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michealharrypotter · 5 years ago
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Clingy and Cows Chapter 5
Sorry about the POV’s, they’re a little choppy. 
Harry POV
The wind whistled in my ears as we ripped down the highway at 45 miles an hour which doesn’t seem too fast but when you’re in an open vehicle it is. Trust me. I watched as we passed pasture after pasture. Each one was unique. Some already had golden hay in neat lines, some fresh green still growing, and others completely different.
I was actually truly amazed by what I saw. 
We took a right onto a dirt road and continued up it until we came to this ring like thing. 
I am not scared. I am not scared. I am not scared……. I’m scared. 
I looked at everyone around me and they all had accumulated sunglasses at some point and I don’t know when. 
“Babe? Should I have a pair of sunnies too?” 
“Probably. That is why I packed yours. It gets really  dusty on the trail if you haven’t noticed already,” Laurie said. 
“Wow, okay. You are really prepared”
“Yep. I mean I spent my childhood here. I know the ins and outs of everything in this damn county”
We set off with us in the lead and everyone else behind us. 
It’s truly beautiful. 
There were sunflowers covering the whole mountain. As we got further up into the mountain, we started seeing huge pine trees. I mean huge. 
I felt extremely bad for not wanting to come here sooner. I assumed it was only going to be dead grass, but boy was I wrong. 
“Laurie. This is just so... “
“Amazing?”
“Yeah. If that’s even the word to explain it”
“You know, we’re coming up on this part where as a little girl I always imagined getting proposed to”
She pointed to a field to my left that was covered in wildflowers. 
Good Lord. She wasn’t kidding when she said she dreams of wildflowers. I would too if I had grown up here.
Laurie’s POV
We rode past the field of wildflowers that I have dreamed of getting proposed to for years. Jake and I used to talk about how one day he would propose to me. Although Harry didn’t need to know that detail
What would it have been like if I had never met Harry? Would Jake and I actually be married right now? Would I have my books? Would I be going to university to get my Phd? God, Laurie you need to stop. You are happy with him. You wouldn’t change it for the world. 
I snapped out of the trance when Harry said, “I need to pee.”
I nodded then signaled to my fellow riders that we were pulling over. 
Sammy pulled up to my side, “Why are we stopping?”
“My boyfriend has the bladder of a two year old, that’s why,” I said. 
Sammy rolled her eyes.
Jake’s POV
I wonder what would have happened if she hadn’t met that dickwad, Harry? Would we have been married? I mean probably, I love her still. I would have proposed to her in that field,  then   we would get married in my backyard with all of our friends.  We would live in a nice house with our dogs and horses. 
“Hey mate,” said Harry.
“I’m not your mate,” I said bitterly.
“Jesus, I’m just trying to be friendly,” Harry snapped back. 
“Well it ain’t working. So I suggest you move along now and stay out of my way. Okay?”
“Look if this is about Laurie coming over the other night crying, I’m sorry. We made up. We’re okay now,”
“Does it look like I give a fuck whether you made up or not?” I asked.
“Actually no. Let me answer that for you. I don’t care because either way, you made her sad. Men aren’t supposed to hurt their women. You hear me? So if I hear one more damn time that you were treating her wrong, boy you don’t even want to know what I’ll do.”
“God. You know what? I thought you were a cool dude at first but guess I was wrong,” Harry said.
“ Get out of my face,” I said back
“Or what?” 
I took a step forward ready to swing. 
“Jake no! Do you really want to do this? Laurie is less than a mile up the road with Sammy. I know damn well it would hurt her more than anything to see you beating up her boyfriend,” said Evan. 
“Fine, Styles. Be grateful I let you go so easy this time,” I said while glaring at him “Next time, I won’t be as forgiving” and with that I walked back to my fourwheeler. 
Laurie’s POV
“Hey we heard what sounded like arguing, everything okay?” I asked Harry? 
“Yeah, no problem here baby”
“Okay” 
I was a little suspicious, I knew the boys don’t like each other all too well. 
“Alright, everyone ready?”
“Yes ma’am”
“Yep”
“Okay, do y’all mind if I take the lead with Harry”
“No that’s alright,” said Evan. 
I looked over just in time to see Jake rolling his eyes. 
What the hell was that all about? 
I dismissed it and started up the ATV again. 
Harry’s POV
We had gotten back to the house just over a little bit ago and everyone had gone home. 
“Laurie?” 
“Yes baby?” she asked while hugging me. 
“Do you have any idea as to why Jake wouldn’t like me?”
“Well not really. I’m sure he’s just being over protective. I mean he’s basically family. I’m sure he’s just looking out for me” 
“Okay. Thank you baby” 
“Mhm. Would you like  to take a nap with me. I’m quite tired ?” I asked her. 
“No thank you baby. I think I’ll just head on outside to the porch and read for a bit”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, come and get me if you need anything”
“Mmm” I kissed her lightly then headed upstairs to take a nap. 
Laurie’s POV
I walked to the kitchen to get myself a cup of tea to sip on while reading my book. I chose one of my favorites, gingerbread tea. 
Once the tea was done, I grabbed by book and headed outside. I was currently reading Homeless Bird by Gloria Whelan. It is quite lovely, yet amazingly sad. It’s about a young woman who is sold into a marriage but then her husband dies. The poor young girl has to live with her evil mother-in-law. The mother-in-law can’t stand her anymore and abandoned her in a city for widows. 
I had finished by tea and had gotten to the end of my book when I was letting myself indulge in the serenity around me. 
I have been blessed with this beautiful earth, loving boyfriend, and friends. 
I got so lost in my thoughts that I didn’t hear Jake coming around the house to sit me. 
“Laurie,” Jake whispered. 
I jumped quite high in my chair, “Good lord man, I think you about killed me”
“Sorry, sorry,” he chuckled. 
“What are you doing here Jake?”
“Oh Laurs,” he said while looking at me. 
“Jake, why are you here?” I asked again. 
“You have no idea how much I love you do you?”
“Jake, what are you saying?”
“I’m saying that I love you Laurie! And have since the day we met. I have never stopped loving you. And when I drove past that field today, it just reminded me how much I miss you,” he paused for a second. “Laurie, I love you”.
“Jake don’t do this” I said quietly. 
“Why? Why not? I love you Laurie. Do you not love me?”
“No Jake, I love you, just not like that. I’m not 18 anymore Jake. I’ve grown. I have a new life in Utah. I have a boyfriend of whom I love very much”
“Oh fuck your boyfriend. The guys a dumbass anyway”
“Excuse me? You do NOT have the right to talk about him like that. I love him Jake. Why can’t you just wrap your head around the fact that I love Harry?”
“Because Laurie, it was supposed to be us. We were supposed to be here right now. I was supposed to be the one to call you baby and to ride with you through the canyon. We were supposed to be getting married in the summer of ‘17,” he said while his voice raised. 
“Jake, you can’t tell me that you still think after all these years that we are going to get married. God Jake, we made that promise when we were like 16. For God’s sake let it go. We were innocent. We didn’t think we would ever find love outside of ourselves” I yelled. 
Just then a sleepy Harry opened the door, “Baby, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing Harry, just please go back inside”
Instead of going inside he walked over to me and stood by my side. 
“No, I want to know why I was awoken by the sound of Jake telling my girlfriend why he loves her and planned to marry her” 
“Baby, it’s nothing” 
Jake interrupted, “Actually, it’s not nothing. I was just about to say that Laurie deserves so much better than you. She deserves a gentleman, like me”
“Oh good Christ, would someone explain to me what I missed?”
I turned towards Harry, “Well baby, when we were younger, Jake and I used to be together. We were together for about 2 ½ years. We were convinced that we were going to get married. But then I got accepted into Uni, started writing my books and met you. I stopped loving Jake like that and loved him more as a brother. Although, Jake here, still loves me in not such a sisterly way”
Harry just stood still for a second then turned to Jake. 
“Mate, let it go, She’s mine”
“I’m not going to let it go” 
“Please, it isn’t worth it” I said. 
“Laurie, please. Tell me you still love me” Jake said desperately. 
“That’s the thing Jake, I can’t”
Jake quickly grew red in the face. 
“This is all your fucking fault, Styes,”He said, pointing a fingre at Harry, “If you hadn’t come along and charmed your way into Laurie’s life she would still be mine! We would be married! We would have kids! We would be living the dream!” He shouted. 
“Mate, you clearly don’t know anything about Laurie. She has told me on many occasions she doesn’t want kids. She told me she didn’t want to live the ranch life” Harry said. 
I looked Jake in the eyes and said, “Jake, please go home. I’m begging you. If you truly want me to be happy, leave me alone”
He looked at me for a while, then turned on his feet and walked back to his truck. 
Just when we were about to back inside, Jake turned back around and swung at Harry. 
“Ah fuck he hit me proper in the nose”
“Jesus Christ, Jake! Get the fuck out of here!” I said. 
And with that, Jake got in the truck and left. 
“I can’t wait to tell the boys about this,” Harry said while holding his nose. 
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tillman · 6 years ago
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hi i ranked every single dark souls 1 character by who i think is the most kissable . its 79 characters all with a description of why theyre at the place theyre at with images for reference :-) its all under cut for u to enjoy.. thank u
this is all my opinion cus hehe im making the list but also im god so this is fact now . 
counting down because u know what ! buildup is fun and i have to start off with everyones most favorite:
GWYN - 79
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im kidding. fuck gwyn and everything he stands for. he wouldnt even be a good kisser he doesnt have FUCKING LIPS
SEATH - 78
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oh you really wanna kiss the incel dragon who kidnaps ladies for his weird experiements?? yeah?? who are you, big hat logan?
EINGYI - 77
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heres one i wont get hate for: this fucking asshole . die bastard . he cant even kiss his face is all infected and gross!
KAATHE - 76
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he sucks.
SMOUGH - 75
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not only is he too big to kiss! hes a cannibal!! hed eat you!!!! thats no kiss i want!
MANUS - 74
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listen i know yall love daddies and all that but hes manipulative and not a nice person so id watch out. i GUESS hes kissable as he was a human before but def not a good kiss
BED OF CHAOS - 73
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its just some vines that sometimes set on fire!! If it were still the witch of izalith she would be probally in the 20s as shes a good person who tried very hard to help the world but in this state... u cant even kiss her!
FRAMPT - 72
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better than kaathe but the whole no lips and being a manipulative snake monster really throws me off and shoves him down at the bottom
FINA (GODDESS OF LOVE/BEAUTY (?)) - 71
(mentioned character - no image sorry :-( )
Listen as much as im all for love, this is love u dont want ! just trust me dont be lautrec dont do it you dont want to kiss fina listen to me. please dont kiss fina.
VINCE AND NICO - 70
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way of the white members are NOTABLY unkissable but these guys. are just so boring. theyll be your white bread boyfriend as neil would say... bad kissers and bad people!
LAUTREC - 69 
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aw fuck wait can i make another character 69 he doesnt deserve it. anyways not only is he not over his ex (fina) hed probally gut you and steal your lunch money half way through the kiss anyways so whats the point . thats not how u treat a lover idiot
CENTIPEDE DEMON - 68
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it eats your face and you die. next pleaaase
PETRUS - 67
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another way of the white cleric. he at least starts off nice and he says fuck rich people but also he let that happen to rhea and i fucking hate his guts so no.
PALADIN LEEROY - 66 
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out of all the way of the white idiots hes the best in that he wears armor and seems cool but its the way of the white man.  i cant get past that. sorry leeroy at least your armor is cool. he probably hasnt kissed someone in hundreds of years anyways 
MOONLIGHT BUTTERFLY - 65
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delicate ... but beautiful! i dunno how to smooch it but i def would if i could ! i dont think it can kiss back but, o well! we all have flaws
IRON GOLEM - 64
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it cant kiss back but its COOL and can throw me like a javelin so like . yeehaw id smooch its little face place 
UNDEAD MERCHANTS (BOTH) - 63
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between moss and yulia i think they got enough on their plates! plus since theyre so hollowed, i dont think they have any lips to kiss back with! 
INGWARD - 62
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hes not like . bad persay but also i dont trust him after he helped with new londo. cool design tho. i wanna kiss that bird beak mask
JEREMIAH - 61
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was a bullfrog, and never took off his crown long enough to kiss another person...... i feel like if he did though! oh boy!!!
Asylum Demon + Demon Firesage + Stray Demon - 60
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more kissable than some bosses, but still not the greatest lips. good butts though on all of them.... so i guess thats fr u kinky people 
SNUGGLY THE CROW - 59
(no image shes a crow) 
please stop drawing her as an anime girl shes literally just a grow that likes warm things oh my god you freaks be nice to her
BIG HAT LOGAN - 58
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hes hard to kiss around the hat! and on that note hes pretty much taken with his obsession with seath. good luck! hes nice though so better than most of this list so far
GAPING DRAGON - 57
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ranked so high because past its giant underbelly of teeth and destruction is this very tiny head which i think is so funny i cant help but want to kiss its little snoot.... hehe baby
PRINCE RICARD - 56
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oh now were actually getting into kissable range! ricard is a prince (maybe even of astora... kissability increase.) so his high ranking might get you some kissability points, but the hollowing is gonna lower that. 4/10 no kissable lips!
4 KINGS - 55
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whats better than a prince..... a king... whats better than a king..................  4 KINGS! just watch out for their overly anime spiky armor and the fact their in a never ending void nightmare but they do have faces so thats points above the rest!
SALAMAN - 54
(mentioned character only! sorry!)
hmmmm we dont learn much about him other than he was close with quelana and he was ............ hot!  hes a pyromancer.  being of the great swamp pushes him down a bit because he prolly smells like his name sake but u know what ! maybe hes cute! we cant be sure! hes in the running at least!
TAURUS DEMON - 53
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hmm... bad lover.... good kisser................................................... the things i do for big beefy demon love.
GOUGH - 52
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While you cant kiss gough cus all the sap in his helmet i cant bare to put him lower than he is hes just so sweet. a kiss on his helmet because i love him so much
NITO - 51
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while he cant kiss back, nito deserves a kiss or two! plus he has a lot of hands so u can hold his hands and be hugged at the same time and u know what that might be just as good as a nice kiss. good on you nito!
STONE DRAGON - 50
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again a non kisser........ damn beaks! the stone dragon does need a kiss though. they havent seen another living soul in years down in ash lake! so im giving them points on that alone.
VAMOS - 49
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like the last two.... no lips! vamos though makes up for it in his charm and wit, and his exceptional skill in smithing! so even without lips to kiss, you still should kiss vamos! hes a good friend
ARIAMIS - 48
(mentioned !)
wow... a painter! and a skilled one at that! this man created the painted world used to keep priscilla safe and that is so noble it gives him points right off the bat! i feel like though, as an artist, he might be a bit weird about it. so watch out and be safe, but in the end, get free art and some free smooches out of him!
ELIZABETH - 47
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thats my mom ... of course she gets a good cheek smooch for all her hard work keeping dusk safe!
DOMHNALL - 46
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i love domhnall hes a good guy whos trying his best but also his mask is so fucking goofy i dunno if i can do it .
RICKERT - 45
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as much as i think rickert would be a good kiss (hes smart, cute, and skilled!) he is trapped behind some bars willingly and probably wont let you in. i can dream though!
CEASLESS DISCHARGE - 44
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if theres any boss that NEEDS a kiss its him. poor dude lost all his family and was turned into this laughing stock of a creature. youd probably burn your lips but .... please just be nice to him :-(
SHIVAS BODYGUARD - 43
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ooo a strong yet silent type.... hes even cute under his mask! good kiss, but i feel like he might just care more about his actual job than a kiss ! hes dedicated !
CIARAN - 42
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putting aside me knowing shed be a good kisser, i just understand she probably doesnt want a kiss right now, shes grieving over the loss of her friend and i respect her comfort. maybe a good pat on the shoulder and a cup of nice tea with her would be nice though! 
PINWHEEL - 41
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may seem like a weird choice to put a necromancer up so high on the list but.... honestly pinwheel needs some love. dude lost his whole family and in trying to revive them accidentally fused them to himself. while he might not be the best kisser, i honestly just wanna tell him everythings gonna be ok.
KIRK - 40
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ok if you know me you KNOW how much it pains me to put kirk so low but. hes a busy guy! not only is he doing so much work to help out where he can with the fair lady, but you might just get pricked by his spiky armor while youre going in for the smooch! so, as much as he deserves a kiss for all his hard work, maybe pass until another time!
SIEGLINDE - 39
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were getting there! she is just so strong... and so brave........ she may not even be undead! sieglinde is so strong and wonderful doing all that just to deliver a message to her unruly father, she deserves so many kisses! Shes got a lot on her plate though so please respect her......
BERENIKE - 38
(just mentioned!)
implied to be a huge strong knight who made it to even sens fortress! yes please ! 
BELL GARGOYLES - 37
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hmmmmm,.......... if u can get past the whole lighting your face on fire, these are two loyal gargoyles! that seems pretty good to me!
BEATRICE - 36
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a wonderful helpful witch friend! she is so nice to help you defeat flying bosses with her magic!! i love her so much! shes even cute to boot! 
GIANT BLACKSMITH - 35
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HE HELP ANYTIME................... I HAVE TO GIVE HIM A KISS FOR ALL HIS HARD WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LEGALLY I HAVE TO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
RHEA - 34
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putting aside my hatred of the way of white.... rhea really is just a babey.... shes adorable and kind and just wants everyone to be ok so im won over. maybe a little forehead smooch for being such a good person!
OSCAR - 33
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oh oscar. a noble, heroic, and cute knight but in the end. would he be a good kisser........ i feel yes, but maybe not so much so! hes busy focusing on being a hero you know! hes a good friend and i cant help but fall in love with nice guys
THE FAIR LADY - 32
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she deserves the entire world and all i can give her is my humanity and a kiss........... sobs. i wish i could do more to ease her pain but she is so strong and wonderful! please give her a nice smooch! 
QUELANA - 31
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i didnt wanna separate them ........ her wonderful sister! who even taught humans pyromancies! shes smart and nice, and honestly probably needs a kiss. 
MILDRED - 30
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uh my notes from last night are just
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so yeah! thats mildred!
CRESTFALLEN MERCHANT - 29
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hes sad as fuck but also... kinda handsome! he was a knight of berenike and made it almost all of the way through sens fortress showing how skilled he is! a strong man like this (inspired by maybe the best kisser in demons souls, boirr) has to be a good kiss!
SIEGMEYER - 28
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hes going through a lot right now but... how could u not think siegmeyer is kissable. thats on you man. thats your own character flaw.
OSWALD - 27
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ok this might be slightly controversial but i feel like oswald would be a good kisser. if you got past his slightly weird love for velka who well get to (thats just carimites (carimians? carimfolk???)) hes nice and kind and maybe the funkiest character in dark souls
KALAMEET - 26
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another cant kiss you but.... kalameet is just so cool ! very shadow the hedgehog and u know what that is NOT a bad thing. you might have a rough time trying to get there, but..... aww whos a good dragon.....
DARKMOON KNIGHTESS - 25
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alright the final stretch! the darkmoon knightess is the anor londo firekeeper, and a friend of gwyndolin! shes supposed to be “ugly and shit” (real quote. i would never lie to you) but her model is so cute! defiantly kissable as fuck!
 SANCTUARY GUARDIAN - 24
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GOFH ITS JUST A WIDDLE KITTEY CAT........... I GIVE IT A WIDDLE KISSEY ON ITS FOREHEAD AHOWHWWAWWW BABEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ALVINA - 23
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AWHAHWAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW SHES H(FADOESAGVFOSDHFSO CUET EIFEDKC LKOFIE JS I LOVE YOU FJEADFIDASHCODEUFCUSFKSDHFKSUHFC
DUSK - 22
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oh yes!! the princess of a lost land...... will you be her knight in shining armor.......... oh i just love her so much. shes sweet and nice and cute and deserves a kiss or two!! please be nice to my daughter!
SHIVA - 21
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hottie with cool armor and a cooler sword. since they cut his whole sidequest i can with all certianty say YES he is super kissable and is probably a great kisser 
QUELAAG - 20
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IGNORIGN HER GIANT SPIDER LOWERBODY........... SHES JUST DOING THIS FOR HER SISTER SHE JUST WANTS TO HELP HER POOR SISTER WHOS IN PAIN HOW COULD YOU NOT LOVE HER SO MUCH!! PLEASE KISS QUELAAG! 
GRIGGS - 19
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im putting griggs so high cus hes kissable in a factor unseen before...... baby factor. hes soft and nice and is just trying to find his dad! just tuck him into bed and kiss him goodnight! its what he deserves! 
ARTORIAS - 18
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everyone already KNOWS why artorias is a good kisser. hes nice, strong, brave, and most importantly. cool as FUCKING HELL ! HE DOES SICK ANIME FLIPS!! if you can look past the abyss slowly taking him over, youll find a good good boy who deserves a good kiss.
ANASTACIA - 17
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the good firekeeper who we spend most of our time with in 1! YES of COURSE Shes kissable. she deserves SO MANY kisses for all of her hard work in keeping the firekeep shrine lit! good job anastacia im sorry lautrec is like that
VELKA GODDESS OF SIN - 16
(just mentioned!)
if her title alone doesnt bring you in, youll be pleased to know shes implied to help watch over priscilla (who well get to hold your horses) and keep the poor girl safe! a strong sense of justice and a love of crows, shes probably an amazing kiss if you can find her! 
ANDRE - 15
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were closing in on #1 and i just have to throw andre in here. hes so nice and strong! just . please kiss andre! he deserves some he does so much work! 
PRISCILLA - 14
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poor priscilla. called a monstrous crossbreed and has to hide in a painted world to stay safe from those who would hurt her. including the internet! leave her alone you freaks shes not your fetish fuel!!! she deserves a good kiss on the cheek and a hug for all she has to put up with
 CRESTFALLEN WARRIOR - 13
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its my list i get to put the crestfallen warrior where i want. and u know what? he would honestly be a good kiss. hes kind and helpful and never once wishes you harm, he just needs to be held tightly and kissed passionately and u know what. dont we all. 
GWYNEVERE - 12
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she is beautiful but .... 1 shes married and 2 shes not even real! whatever. her husband the flame god flann is at least.......... hot! haahgdaefshdfcdhswfe im so fucking funny
BLACK IRON TARKUS - 11
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listen i see a big beefy dude i go “hey thats hot please kiss me” so of course tarkus is this high up hes the beefiest dude around.... right?? anyways all knights of berenike are kissable hes just the MOST kissable of the 3 named ones!
ORNSTEIN - 10
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this dude kisses the son of gwyn you KNOW hes a good kiss. the golden lion armor just helps so much. we love you ornstein .....
HAVEL THE ROCK - 9
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HERE HE IS ... THE BEEFIEST GUY AROUND ... this bitch uses a DRAGONS TOOTH as a huge club to bash people with if that isnt big dick energy i dont know what is. armor made of stone. heart made of gold. havel the rock please god kiss me passionately under the moonlight .
SIF - 8
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oghfoghfohg puppey..................................... SMOOCHIE THE PUPPY>...........
NAMELESS KING (!?) - 7
(hes just mentioned in ds1!!) 
I KNOW HES A DS3 BOSS BUT LISTEN TO ME THEY TALK ABOUT HIM SO MUCH IM ALLOWING THIS.  he defected from his awful dads team to go help the DRAGONS!! thats so cool hes so kissable. would be more kissable if he wasnt kissing ornstein but thats ok . i respect them both.
MARVELOUS CHESTER - 6
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this MAY just because i have a huge crush on him but also here are some good kissable things about him: his fasion, his voice that sounds like a purr, his laugh, his malice, his funny mask, him. thank you for your time.
GWYNDOLIN - 5
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FINAL FIVE! heres gwyndolin. the most kissable of all of gwyns children for the sheer fact of how much work they put in to making sure people stay safe and happy. they are so kind and wonderful they deserve SO MANY kisses! good on you gwyndolin....
LAURENTIUS - 4
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now heres a fun one! laurentius is one of the nicest guys u will EVER meet in any souls game. he genuinely cares about you, he loves and respects u even if u dont respect him or his skills, hes nice cute and above all: i love him . please kiss laurentius he is a nice guy who just wants the best for u..... dont be mean to him.....................
CAPRA DEMON - 3
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the highest one that cant kiss back and thats for the capra demons SHEER HORNY ENERGIES. this is a demon you can fuck! thats it i have nothing else to say i just think the capra demon is funny
SOLAIRE - 2
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do i seriously have to explain why solaire is so high up. not only is he nice and cares about you, hes handsome, passionate, and just a good fucking person. he is hands down one of the most kissable characters in any souls game ever! fuck yeah! go off you funky little lover boy! 
and finally.
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its patches.
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