#my point being that basically it will be everything she hates 💜

[sasshomaru]

my racist grandmother, who tells me that “the eye-rain-ians” are dirty and nasty and cheap snd never passes up the chance to talk about how much she hates Iranians—even tho i am literally half Iranian—gave me some amazon giftcards for my bday, and im using them to buy persian history books in order to write a historical fiction story based in the ancient persian empire with all iranian characters 💜💜💜💜💜

[amethystarachnid]

Hey! If your taking requests, I love your work so much and I had an idea I would really love to see how you execute it.

So it would be with Tony Stark, and if its okay Male!Reader, but not romantic, the reader is a teen who is a product of some old fling Tony had and after being poorly taken care of by his mom (whatever that inclines you to write, abuse, bad boyfriend, alcoholism etc.) She dumps him off at stark tower with a note and what little belongings the reader has and his birth certificate to Tony for him to take care of. And the rest of what happens from there is up to you! Basically heavy on the found family troupe, and a little angst with some good fluff. The reader can be from 16-18 still in high school. He has Tony's sarcastic humor and smarts, but he nodes his intelligence because his mom never really helped him appreciate it, basically one of those kids that gets straight A's without seemingly trying and looking kind of stupid, the reader is quiet and a bit cold but that's because of how he was raised, and isn't one to share how he's feeling. If you can do this I'd be so thankful, if not its completely understandable, I hope I gave you enough creative liberty to make it fun, I know it'll be great if you do write it! Again I love your fics so much and I can't wait to read more of what you have!!💜☺

LEGACY

⤷ ANTHONY “TONY” E. STARK

ᯓ★ Pairing: Anthony “Tony” E. Stark x male!reader

ᯓ★ Genre: platonic!, a lot of angst and some fluff

ᯓ★ Request from: normal request

ᯓ★ Story type: one shot

ᯓ★ Word count: 5.5k

ᯓ★ Summary: literally what the ask said

ᯓ★ TW(s): mentions of abusive household and rader feeling like people keep abandoning him

ᯓ★ Thank you so much for your request and for liking my work! <3

ᯓ★ My Masterlist

ᯓ★ MARVEL Multiverse - choose an AU, pair it with your favorite character and make a request!

ᯓ★ Songs & Superheroes tales - The Game (to make a request, follow the rules on the link!)

ᯓ★ MARVEL Bingo

ᯓ★ English isn’t my first language

Your whole life, you’ve never known stability. The cramped apartments, the ever-shifting walls painted in hues of desperation, are as familiar to you as your own skin. You’re seventeen now, but you still feel like you’re stuck in this never-ending carousel of uncertainty and survival. Your mom—who’s always been more into herself than anyone else—has a way of shoving her problems under the rug, sweeping you along with the mess until you’re barely holding it together.

Her boyfriend—if you could even call him that—is the latest problem. Travis is the kind of guy who doesn’t need to say much to make his point clear. It’s in the way he takes up space, fills every room with his presence, making himself the center of your lives as if it’s his right. He started coming around when you were fourteen, and it’s only gotten worse. You know he hates you, and he doesn’t even try to hide it. To him, you’re a nuisance, some extra baggage he never asked for, and he’s got no problem reminding you of that. Your sarcasm and quick wit, the things that make you, you, are just more reasons for him to snap, roll his eyes, or call you ungrateful.

Your mom’s always been…complicated. You’ve known that since you were little, watching her go from one relationship to another, always searching for some kind of validation she never seems to find. She calls herself a free spirit, but it’s like she’s just drifting, lost in a fog of her own making. She can be fun, sure, when things are good. There were even moments when you thought she really loved you. But as time went on, you learned to read the signs: the distant glances, the subtle irritations, the way she avoids looking at you for too long, as if you’re some kind of mirror she doesn’t want to face.

It’s your intelligence that bugs her the most, you think. You see through her, every lie, every excuse, every careless decision. And she knows it. It’s like looking into a warped mirror—she can see pieces of herself in you, but you’re everything she’s never been: sharp, observant, with a mind that doesn’t let things slide. And it grates on her.

The fights get worse as you grow older, each one escalating faster than the last. Your sarcasm is your armor, your way of dealing with the endless cycle of disappointment. But every quip, every clever retort, only makes her angrier. You can tell she hates that she can’t control you, can’t manipulate you the way she does with everyone else in her life. She calls you difficult, a burden, a mistake she should’ve never had. You don’t let it show, but each word leaves a scar, another reminder that you’re on your own.

Then one day, it’s too much. Travis and your mom are fighting—again. It’s loud, voices echoing in the small apartment, and you’re in your room, trying to block it out like usual. But this time, you hear your name. You’ve been in this situation enough to know that’s never a good sign. So, you stay quiet, waiting, listening.

“You know he’s not even mine, right?” Travis snaps, his voice dripping with frustration. “Why do I have to put up with this kid? He’s not my responsibility!”

“You think I don’t know that?” Your mom’s voice is strained, like she’s barely holding on herself. “I’ve tried—God, I’ve tried—but he’s just…he’s too much. I can’t handle it anymore.”

There’s a pause, and for a second, you think maybe she’ll say something else, something that makes it sound like she cares. But the words never come.

“Then get rid of him,” Travis says, so bluntly that it leaves a chill in the air. “You’ve got the kid’s birth certificate. Drop him off at his real dad’s. He’s rich, isn’t he? Let him deal with the brat.”

You don’t move. You barely breathe. But deep down, you already know this is it. There’s no fighting it this time, no clever comment to deflect what’s happening. She’s made her choice, and it’s not you.

The next morning, she’s silent as she hands you an envelope. There’s no apology, no excuse, just a look that tells you she’s already gone, checked out of whatever shred of motherhood she once claimed to have. You don’t even ask where you’re going; you know the answer as soon as you see the address on the piece of paper.

Stark Tower.

It feels like a final act of cruelty, really. The man she’s always refused to talk about, the one figure in your life who’s only ever been a name, and now he’s your last option. Tony Stark. Genius, billionaire, Avenger. And, apparently, your father.

You stand outside Stark Tower with a single bag of your things and that stupid piece of paper—the birth certificate that’s somehow supposed to mean you’re his problem now. You feel like you’re stuck in some cosmic joke, a punchline to a story you didn’t even know you were a part of. There’s no going back, though. That’s clear enough.

So, you take a deep breath, adjust your bag on your shoulder, and walk through the doors.

Tony doesn’t even get a chance to process it at first. One moment he’s sipping coffee in his lab, deep in the flow of something unnecessarily complex that’s keeping his mind busy, and the next, Pepper is calling him down to the lobby. She sounds irritated, stressed—like maybe it’s his fault, which Tony wouldn’t be surprised by, honestly. He heads down, muttering about "another hero here to tell me how to do my job."

Then he sees you.

You’re leaning against the glass wall, wearing an expression that’s somehow familiar yet entirely alien to him. It’s not hard to recognize the mix of defiance and exhaustion in your eyes; he’s spent years perfecting that look himself. But the shock doesn’t really hit until you hand him the birth certificate. Your name and his, right there in black and white, unavoidably real.

For once in his life, Tony Stark is speechless.

“Seventeen years,” he mutters, mostly to himself. “And now you’re here because…?”

You shrug, clearly unimpressed. “Mom didn’t want me anymore, and apparently, you’re my dad. So… here I am. Congratulations.”

You’re blunt, almost cruel in the way you say it, like you don’t expect anything from him and don’t care if you get it. But he can’t look away from you. For the first time in a long time, he’s out of his depth. He’s had seventeen years to know this was possible, maybe even inevitable, but standing in front of you, he realizes he’s never prepared himself for this. He’s never thought about what it would mean to actually be a father.

Yet here you are, standing in front of him with your mother’s words still hanging over you, and he can see the weight you carry in the way your shoulders are always tense, the way your eyes don’t quite meet his.

“Well, kid,” he says after a beat, plastering on his most confident smile, “looks like you’ve officially joined the Stark family. There’s no going back now.”

Over the next few days, Tony throws himself into fatherhood with all the enthusiasm of someone tackling a new, challenging invention. He’s reading parenting books, taking advice from anyone who’ll give it, and trying desperately to crack the code of how to be a “cool dad.” He lets you explore Stark Tower freely, offers you access to his entire workshop, and even builds you a custom tablet, “Stark-style,” he brags, with enough advanced tech to impress even the most skeptical teenager.

He talks to you about science, testing your knowledge and realizing with a mix of pride and horror that you’re nearly as sharp as he was at seventeen. He tries to make jokes, throwing out sarcastic one-liners he assumes will win you over. Sometimes, he even manages to get a smirk out of you. But that’s as far as it ever goes.

Every attempt he makes is met with your icy wall, a defense mechanism built after years of disappointment and neglect. You listen, nod occasionally, but never laugh or even show interest. The most he ever gets out of you is a dry, deadpan “cool,” which is enough to keep him going but never enough to satisfy him.

Tony tries not to take it personally, but it’s hard. You’re right there, his kid, yet you’re worlds away, keeping him at arm’s length as if he’s just another adult you can’t trust. He catches glimpses of the sarcasm, the intelligence, but it’s wrapped up in layers of resentment and guarded detachment. You’re always cool, always distant, and he knows why, but that doesn’t make it any easier.

One evening, he sits you down with a grin, tossing a shiny, compact device into your hands. It’s sleek, metallic—one of his newer designs.

“Mini reactor prototype. You’d be the first to use it.” He says it with pride, like he’s giving you something no one else in the world could get.

You look at it for a moment, then at him. “Cool,” you say again, but your voice is flat, unimpressed. You set it on the table between you without another glance.

Tony’s grin falters, and he lets out a frustrated laugh. “You’re a tough crowd, you know that?”

You just shrug, giving him that practiced blank stare he’s come to know well. He’s finally reaching his breaking point. “Y’know, I’m trying here,” he says, exasperated. “I’m trying to… I don’t know, connect. Be… whatever it is you need me to be. But you’re acting like I’m just another stranger.”

You pause, considering him for a moment, and something shifts in your expression—like maybe, for just a second, you see his effort. But then your face goes neutral again, back to that familiar shield.

“Maybe that’s because you are,” you reply, voice quiet, almost too soft for him to hear.

Tony feels the blow, but he hides it with a forced chuckle. “Fair enough,” he says, though there’s a sting in his voice. “I can’t change the past, but… I’m here now. I’m not gonna just… walk away.”

The words linger between you, both of you knowing the weight they carry. You’ve heard promises like this before. You’ve heard them from your mother, from people who were supposed to care, and each one of those promises had turned hollow, leaving you more alone than before. So, when Tony looks at you with genuine sincerity, with a hope that you’ll give him a chance, all you can do is nod, burying any flicker of vulnerability.

As the weeks go on, Tony keeps trying. He brings you into the lab with him, walks you through his latest projects, even lets you experiment with some of the tech yourself. He drags you to burger joints at midnight, tries to coax out stories about school, hobbies, anything. Sometimes you let your guard slip, offering a sarcastic remark, a comment that makes him laugh—but the moment always passes too quickly, and you’re back behind that wall before he can push any further.

He’s persistent, though, and there’s a part of you that almost wants to give in, that wants to believe him. But your trust is a muscle you haven’t used in so long, it feels impossible to start now. So, you keep him at bay, deflecting his kindness, giving him just enough to satisfy his efforts without letting him in.

Tony doesn’t quit, though. He keeps showing up, every day, every night, and for the first time in your life, you don’t feel like someone’s just waiting for the moment they can leave.

Every morning, Tony insists on driving you to school, and it’s nothing short of a spectacle. He shows up outside Stark Tower in one of his many luxury cars, honking loudly, practically begging for attention. It’s become a routine, one you can’t escape no matter how many times you roll your eyes or tell him he doesn’t have to do it. He’s always got some snarky excuse, saying things like, “It’s my job as a dad,” or “I just want to see the kid off,” as if anyone believes he actually cares about high school protocol.

And everyone notices. Whispers trail behind you as you walk the halls, classmates you’ve known for years suddenly gawking at you like you’re a different person. They don’t know you as you anymore; they know you as Tony Stark’s kid. It’s suffocating. You’ve spent your entire life trying to stay unnoticed, to blend into the background. Now, no matter where you go, everyone’s waiting for you to crack a joke like him, to show off some kind of Stark-level genius.

Only one person seems to still see you, really see you—your best friend, Sam. You’ve known him since middle school, back when everything was simpler, when no one knew or cared who your dad was. He’s the only one who doesn’t treat you any differently now, the only person you actually trust enough to talk to about any of this.

One afternoon, you’re sitting outside on the bleachers with Sam, trying to ignore the fact that Tony’s car is already parked by the curb, waiting for you. The other students eye it like some exotic animal they don’t quite understand, but you keep your head down, just hoping the day will end without any more awkward questions or judgmental stares.

Sam nudges you. “So, uh… you still giving the old man the cold shoulder, huh?”

You sigh, avoiding his gaze. “I’m not giving him the cold shoulder. I’m just… keeping my distance.”

He rolls his eyes. “Dude, I see you with him every morning. The man looks like he’s about to recite the Gettysburg Address just to get a smile out of you. And you’re over here acting like he doesn’t exist.”

You shift uncomfortably, crossing your arms. “He’s only doing it because he feels obligated, Sam. It’s Tony Stark. He doesn’t actually care about me.”

Sam raises an eyebrow. “You really believe that? You think he’s the kind of guy who’d waste his time on someone he doesn’t care about?”

You don’t answer, but you can feel Sam’s eyes on you, cutting through all your defenses. He’s always been able to read you better than anyone, and right now, that’s the last thing you want.

“He’s trying, Y/N,” Sam continues, his voice softer. “Like, really trying. And I get it. I get that you’ve been burned, but… maybe give him a chance? Just talk to him. It’s not like he’s gonna run off if you tell him what’s going on.”

You look away, jaw clenched as you try to shake off the knot of emotion tightening in your chest. You don’t want to admit that Sam might be right. Letting someone in, giving someone a chance—that’s always been a dangerous game, one you’re not sure you can afford to play again.

That night, you’re lying awake in your room, staring at the ceiling, Sam’s words playing on a loop in your mind. The silence around you feels heavy, pressing down on you, and you can’t shake the feeling that maybe, just maybe, you owe Tony more than you’ve been giving him. You’ve seen his effort, the way he tries to connect with you, even when you push him away. He’s there, every day, waiting for you, and no one has ever done that before.

Something shifts in you, a kind of tired resignation, and before you can talk yourself out of it, you get up and head downstairs to his workshop.

Tony’s hunched over a table, tinkering with some gadget, and he barely notices you at first. It’s only when you clear your throat that he looks up, surprise flickering across his face before he masks it with a smile.

“Hey, kid,” he says, setting down his tools. “Couldn’t sleep?”

You shrug, suddenly feeling the weight of what you’re about to say. “Yeah, I just… I wanted to talk to you about something.”

He raises an eyebrow, a mixture of curiosity and concern on his face. He gestures to a nearby chair. “Go ahead. I’m all ears.”

You sit, staring at your hands as you try to find the right words. For a long time, there’s only silence between you, the air thick with tension. Finally, you take a deep breath, forcing yourself to speak.

“I know I’ve been… difficult,” you begin, your voice barely above a whisper. “And I know you’re trying. It’s just… it’s not easy for me.”

Tony watches you intently, not interrupting, his expression softer than you’ve ever seen it. You look down, focusing on your hands, the words spilling out before you can stop them.

“When I was a kid, my mom was all I had. I thought… I thought she cared about me, even if she didn’t always show it. But she changed, especially after she started seeing this guy. Travis. He wasn’t… he wasn’t a good person, Tony. He… he made sure I knew I wasn’t wanted.” Your voice breaks slightly, but you push through it, feeling the old wounds tear open. “He told me I was a burden, that I was just in the way. And my mom, she… she just let it happen. She barely even looked at me by the end.”

Tony’s face darkens, his jaw clenched as he listens, but he stays silent, letting you continue.

“I learned not to trust people,” you say, voice wavering. “Every time I thought someone would stick around, they didn’t. So I stopped… I stopped letting people in. I told myself it was easier that way.”

You look up at him, and for the first time, there’s no mask, no shield—just raw vulnerability, something you haven’t allowed yourself to feel in years.

“And then I showed up here,” you say, your voice barely a whisper now. “And you… you keep trying. You keep showing up, every day, like you actually care. And it’s… it’s confusing, okay? Because part of me wants to believe it, but the other part…” You trail off, wiping away a tear that slips down your cheek.

Tony doesn’t hesitate. He reaches over, placing a hand on your shoulder, grounding you, letting you know he’s there. “Y/N,” he says softly, his voice rough with emotion. “I can’t change what you went through. I can’t go back and fix it, as much as I wish I could. But I’m here now, and I’m not going anywhere.”

You meet his gaze, and there’s something in his eyes that you’ve never seen before—a fierce, unwavering resolve that feels almost foreign. You swallow hard, feeling the weight of his words sink in, feeling the tiniest flicker of hope spark to life.

“It’s not easy for me,” you murmur. “It’s… it’s hard for me to trust people. And I know I’m not the easiest person to be around. But… I want to try. I want to believe you. I just… I need you to be patient with me. I need you to not give up on me.”

Tony nods, his hand still resting on your shoulder, steady and reassuring. “Hey,” he says, his voice breaking a little. “I’m not giving up on you, kid. Not now, not ever. You’re my son, and I’m here for the long haul. However long it takes, okay?”

The words settle around you, a warmth you haven’t felt in years. You don’t have to say anything; he seems to understand, giving your shoulder a reassuring squeeze before he lets go. And in that moment, something in you softens, just a little, like maybe you can let him in.

For the first time, you allow yourself to believe him, to believe that maybe he really won’t walk away. And even though the walls around your heart don’t come down all at once, you feel them start to crack, piece by piece, letting a little light seep in.

After that night, things start to change. It’s slow, gradual, like thawing ice, but there’s a noticeable shift between you and Tony. You’re still guarded, still wary of letting him all the way in, but he doesn’t push. He just keeps showing up, every day, every night, just like he promised. And slowly, piece by piece, you let him in.

The first time you ask to work on something together, Tony practically beams. You’re sitting at the kitchen counter with your physics homework in front of you—normally a breeze, something you’d get done in a few minutes. But today, you’ve left a few problems untouched, hoping he’ll notice.

Sure enough, Tony glances over your shoulder and raises an eyebrow. “Need a hand with that?” he asks, and there’s a careful lightness to his voice, like he’s trying to keep things casual, so he doesn’t scare you off.

You shrug, trying to act indifferent. “Sure, if you’ve got time,” you say, even though both of you know you could solve this on your own without breaking a sweat. But Tony doesn’t call you out on it. He just grabs a chair, pulls it over, and sits down next to you, leaning in to look at your work.

For the next hour, the two of you go over formulas and theories, his explanations coming with a few sarcastic quips and exaggerated hand gestures. Every so often, he goes off on a tangent, telling you stories about his own time in high school or sharing a strange fact he thinks will help you remember a concept. You listen, half-smiling at his antics, and eventually even throw in a few of your own sarcastic comments. You can tell he’s trying not to make a big deal out of it, but there’s a spark in his eyes that tells you he’s thrilled to be here, helping you, no matter how small the reason.

As the days go by, you find yourself spending more and more time in Tony’s workshop. It becomes your safe space, the place where you don’t feel like you have to hide or put up walls. Tony lets you explore, handing you tools and explaining how they work, guiding you through his more complicated inventions. It’s like learning a new language, one he’s eager to teach you, and he’s a surprisingly patient teacher.

One afternoon, he’s working on a new suit upgrade, and you’re watching, silently impressed by how smoothly he moves, how every action is precise and practiced. You’re deep in thought when he glances over at you, smirking.

“Thinking of joining the family business?” he jokes, tossing you a wrench. “If you’re interested, I could always use an extra pair of hands.”

You catch the wrench, feeling a rare, genuine smile tug at the corners of your mouth. “Maybe I will,” you say, feeling a rush of warmth that’s unfamiliar but not unwelcome.

He shows you how to tighten a piece of armor plating, explaining each step with a casual ease that you find yourself getting lost in. There’s something oddly comforting about the way he talks, like he’s sharing a secret only the two of you understand. And as you work, side by side, you realize that you actually look forward to these moments, the quiet companionship that comes from working together on something you both enjoy.

One evening, you catch yourself staring at your chemistry textbook, pages open to a particularly dull section on thermodynamics. Normally, you’d power through it on your own, but tonight, you feel the familiar tug of loneliness creeping in, and before you know it, you’re on your feet, heading down to Tony’s lab.

When you reach the doorway, he looks up, surprised, then quickly wipes the expression off his face and pretends to be engrossed in his latest project. “What’s up?” he asks, as casually as he can manage.

You hold up the textbook, pretending to be annoyed. “This stuff is terrible. Thought maybe you could explain it better than my teacher does.”

Tony raises an eyebrow, clearly amused. “Well, I’m honored to know you think so highly of my teaching skills.” He gestures for you to sit down, and as you do, he starts flipping through the pages of your book. “Thermodynamics, huh? You sure you’re not just here for the riveting conversation?”

You roll your eyes. “Don’t flatter yourself.”

But you both know the truth, and there’s an unspoken understanding between you as he dives into the material. He doesn’t just lecture; he makes it a story, breaking down each concept with analogies, acting out scenarios, and throwing in enough jokes to keep you both entertained. You throw in questions just to keep him talking, just so you don’t have to go back to your empty room just yet.

And somewhere along the way, you realize you’re not just learning about science. You’re learning about him—about his quirks, his sense of humor, the way he lights up when he’s talking about things he’s passionate about. He’s not just Tony Stark, billionaire genius, Iron Man. He’s… Tony, your dad, someone who, against all odds, actually seems to care about you.

Over time, you both fall into a rhythm. Tony starts waiting for you in the mornings, holding out a cup of coffee or hot chocolate, claiming he needs company on his drive to work. You never say it, but you look forward to those mornings, the way he fills the car with stories about his latest projects or about old college pranks he pulled that make you laugh in spite of yourself.

One day, you’re both hunched over a set of schematics in his lab, tossing ideas back and forth as you brainstorm a new design for a stabilizer that could potentially improve flight control in his suits. You’re getting so into it that you forget to be guarded, throwing out suggestions, bouncing thoughts off each other in rapid-fire succession.

At one point, Tony stops, leaning back in his chair to look at you with a smirk. “You know,” he says, a touch of pride in his voice, “you’re pretty damn good at this. Got that Stark brain for sure.”

You feel a warmth spread through you, and for the first time, you don’t brush it off. “Maybe,” you say, smiling despite yourself. “But I guess it helps when you have a good teacher.”

Tony chuckles, but there’s a glimmer of emotion in his eyes, something raw and unguarded. “Yeah, well… you’re not a bad student either.”

There’s a moment of silence as the two of you look at each other, an understanding passing between you that doesn’t need words. You know he’s trying, and somehow, that knowledge makes the walls around your heart crumble just a little bit more.

A few days later, you’re working on homework in the living room when Tony walks in, holding a set of blueprints he’s obviously excited about. But when he sees you bent over your books, he pauses, a mischievous grin spreading across his face.

“Hey, need some help?” he asks, raising an eyebrow.

You look up, raising an eyebrow back at him. “With calculus? Pretty sure I’ve got this covered.”

He shrugs, feigning offense. “I’ll have you know I was quite the calculus prodigy back in the day.”

“Oh, yeah?” You smirk, half-teasing. “Care to prove it?”

Tony grins, and before you know it, he’s pulled up a chair, leaning over your work with the same intensity he brings to his inventions. You pretend to need help with a few problems, and he’s more than happy to guide you through them, throwing in jokes and sarcastic comments the whole way. Every so often, he nudges your shoulder, grinning like he’s just scored a victory when he catches you smiling.

Eventually, he lets out an exaggerated sigh. “Well, I think we’ve both learned a lot today,” he says, stretching dramatically.

“Yeah,” you reply, smirking. “Like the fact that you’re worse at calculus than I am.”

Tony gapes, clutching his chest in mock hurt. “Unbelievable. Betrayed by my own son. This is a new low.”

You chuckle, shaking your head, and for the first time, it feels easy. Comfortable. Like maybe, just maybe, you don’t have to keep fighting him off.

“Hey,” Tony says, his tone shifting to something softer. “Thanks for letting me in. I know it wasn’t easy.”

You meet his gaze, feeling that familiar vulnerability creeping in, but this time, you don’t shy away. “Thanks for not giving up,” you reply quietly. “I know I’m not the easiest person to deal with.”

Tony chuckles, reaching over to ruffle your hair. “Nah, you’re a piece of cake. Besides, I’ve got a lot of time to make up for.”

You smile, a real one this time, feeling a warmth settle in your chest. For the first time, you allow yourself to hope that maybe, just maybe, things are going to be okay.

It’s supposed to be a routine mission. Just another intel-gathering run, in and out, with minimal risk. Tony had waved it off as no big deal before he left, throwing you a smirk and saying, “Just another day in the office.” But that was hours ago. And now, as you sit in the dim glow of the living room, watching the news report blaring on the screen, dread twists deep in your gut.

You watch the shaky footage of Iron Man fighting, and this time, it’s different. He’s outnumbered, missiles tearing through the air, beams of energy slicing through the smoke and chaos. The news anchor’s voice breaks as they report the intensity of the fight, how Iron Man was last seen plunging out of the sky after a heavy hit. For a terrifying moment, you catch a glimpse of him falling, his suit battered, smoking, before the feed cuts out entirely.

Your heart stops, and a painful tightness fills your chest. The hours that follow are a blur of pacing, every second dragging longer than the last. You’re used to him going out on missions, used to the danger that comes with being Tony Stark’s son. But this… this is different. This isn’t the usual playful bravado, the usual cocky promises that he’ll be home for dinner. This is life or death, and for the first time, you’re faced with the horrifying thought that he might not make it back.

After what feels like an eternity, the front door finally opens. You spin around, heart pounding, and there he is, looking worse for wear but alive. He’s moving a bit stiffly, his armor scratched and dented, his face smudged with dirt and a few new cuts. But he’s here.

Before he can say a word, you rush toward him, the flood of relief hitting you so hard that you barely register the fact that you’re moving, throwing yourself into his arms. Your grip is tight, like if you let go, he’ll disappear. You don’t even realize you’re trembling until you feel his arms close around you, holding you just as tightly.

“Hey, hey,” Tony says, his voice soft, touched with surprise but warm. “I’m okay, kid. I’m here.”

You pull back just enough to look at him, your eyes shining with unshed tears, and he’s looking at you with an expression so full of gentle understanding that it makes you feel like a kid again, vulnerable and desperate. Without thinking, the word slips out, raw and unguarded.

“Dad…” you whisper, voice breaking slightly, “don’t ever… don’t ever do that again. I thought… I thought I was going to lose you.”

Tony’s face softens, his own eyes welling up. He’s silent for a moment, as if he’s savoring the word, the weight of it finally hitting home. His hand comes up to rest on your shoulder, his grip firm but gentle, grounding you.

“I’m sorry,” he murmurs, his voice rough with emotion. “I didn’t mean to scare you like that. But I’m here, okay? I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.”

You nod, the tears slipping down your cheeks now, and Tony pulls you in again, holding you tightly, his hand running gently over your back. It’s the first time you’ve let yourself fully embrace him, the first time you’ve allowed yourself to lean into his strength, to accept the warmth he’s been trying so hard to offer. And as you stand there, held in his arms, a sense of peace settles over you, soft and comforting, melting the last of your walls away.

After a long moment, he pulls back just enough to meet your gaze, a tear slipping down his own cheek as he smiles, eyes bright. “You called me ‘Dad,’” he says softly, his voice full of wonder, as if he’s just received the greatest gift in the world.

You give a small, watery smile, wiping at your eyes. “Yeah, well… don’t get used to it,” you mumble, but there’s no heat behind the words, only affection, only gratitude.

He chuckles, pulling you back into a hug, and you feel his hand rest on the back of your head, his grip firm and reassuring. “I’m already used to it,” he whispers, his voice thick with emotion. “And I’m not letting you go, kid. Not ever.”

In that moment, you realize that this is what home feels like—right here, safe in his arms, with nothing left to fear.

I'll never get tired of familyman!Tony I swear.

[lovelywritinglady]

hi can i recwest a uzui x reader where uzui have a argment and gat a divors and yn is pregnet years later when the child and he rillast that it is his child and has a tak whif yn and trase to fics everifing

if you canpleas do thak you and have a grat day

I’d love to!💜

Mistakes

Tengen Uzui x fem!Reader

You and Tengen got into a heated argument after a demon hunt gone wrong. He says some extremely hurtful words. You decide to leave him because you know you don’t deserve that. What you didn’t know was that you were pregnant with his child. Angst, slight fluff, Tengen being a dick, mentions of pregnancy, cursing, and other mature themes.

Your pov

"You nearly got us killed, what are you and idiot?" My husband Tengen yelled at me.

"It was an accident, I'm sorry!" I yelled back

"You cannot afford accidents like this Y/N!" He roared stepping closer to me causing me to flinch slightly.

"I'm sorry." I whispered

"Sorry won't even begin to cover the fucking stupitity of your actions! You have no right being a demon slayer with how dumb you are. I can't believe I married someone like you!" he yelled looking me dead in the eye with fury.

"Fuck you!" I snapped as my anger began rising as tears filled my eyes.

"Real mature Y/N, get the hell out of my house until you can learn some respect and basic combat moves." he said as he began walking away as I began to sob.

"Where the hell am I going to stay! Tengen, I'm your wife!' I cried walking towards him.

"Hell if I care, just get your things and don't come back until you aren't so incopitent." he snapped walking away into another room.

I stood there unable to think, feel, or understand the situation. My body moved on its own and next thing I knew I was out of mt home with a bag packed walking only god knows where. It was getting dark, but I didn't care all I knew is that I was no longer wanted, needed, or loved by the man that swore he would protect me and love me no matter what. So much for promises. I kept walking until the sun began to rise, my thoughts much clearer now and my tears no longer flowing down my face. I decided to go live with my older sister, Misa, who lives on the other side of the country. Her and I have always been close, and I just hoped I would never see that asshole again.

One Month Later

I feel unbelievebly sick, as every morning and evening I spill my guts out. I have an uncontroable hunger and yet anytime I try to eat something I feel once again that I want to throw up. I feel miserable not just physically, but mentally too. Despite his words, I still love my husband. He use to be my everything, but I suppose I was never his. He claimed that he couldn't believe that he married me and just thinking about those poisonus words make my body ache once more. Tears I try not to spill came fourth with so much eagerness that I had no time to stop them. I hated myself for crying over him, but I suppose I was really crying for the man he use to be. I knew in my heart that I would always love him, but now I can never be with someone who so easily made me feel like my very existence meant nothing. I heard a faint knocking that pulled me out of my thoughts as the sweet voice of my sister filled the room.

"How are you feeling this morning, Y/N?" Misa asked as she sat next to me putting her hand on my forhead.

"Not great." I sighed smiling at her wiping away my tears.

"Y/N, I really think we should get you a doctor. This has been going on too long." She suggested taking her hand off my head.

"I think your right Misa." I sighed

"I didn't want to say anything to you, but I really think you're pregnant." she said in a whisper

"What!" I whisper yelled

"You're showing signs and don't worry if you are. I will always take care of you." Misa reassured

"Lets hope I'm not then." I said nervously.

Two days later the doctor came, she was a sweet older lady that had a warm smile and a small figure. She came into my room and inspected me in all they ways she could. My nerves at this point were all consuming as I really did not want to be pregnant, especially since I knew who the father was.

"My dear you have no fever and no true illness. What you are expierencing, is early signs of pregnancy." she said with a smile

"I see, I guess my sister was right then." I stated sadly

"Are you not happy, I'm sure your husband will be." she stated with a concerned look on her face.

"My husband no longer wants me." I answered doing my best not to cry once more.

"Oh, I am so sorry, my dear." She said grabbing my hand.

"Thank you, I just have no idea what to do now." I said honestly

"That's just something you're going to have to figure out for yourself. At the end of the day you need to do what's best for your child." She spoke seriously

"Yes, I suppose you're right." I sighed

"Of course I'm right dear, I am a doctor." she joked

"Hey, is everything alright in here?" my sister asked as she knocked on the door.

"It will be." I whispered touching my belly.

Three Years And Six Months Later

My son, Kei, is now nearly three years old. He's a rowdy child that seems to always be obsessed with what is going on outside. Whether is rainy, snowy, or sunny, he's always begging to go outside. I can't complain though as I love nature and seeing his little cheeks puffed up when he askes is always so cute. Kei looks a little bit like his father as he got most of his features from me. His eyes are the same color as my ex husband and his personality matches. His hair is a lighter shade of h/c, which gave me relief. I still haven't told Tengen about our son, nor do I want to. Part of me feels selfish, but part of me doesn't want to subject him to a man like Tengen. Although, when they do meet, I hope he is kind to his son. Kei is too sweet and kind to have to be around a father that verbally abuses him. I just couldn't live with myself if I let my baby be hurt by him.

In these three years, I haven't had a full time job. Mostly they have been part time jobs and my sister has been providing for me and my son. She claimes that since she doesn't have a family that this is no trouble, but Kei is old enough where I can start working full time. It took a long time to find job, but one day my sister came into the house screaming that she found a job that was perfect for me.

"Y/N, this is a landscaping job." she nearly yelled in my ear

"Huh, that's a little different than the jobs that I'm looking for, but hey if they are hiring then I'll take it." I said confifently

"Mama what's going on?" Kei asked as he walked into the room with a sleepy expression.

"I'm sorry baby, I didn't mean to wake you up." I cooed opening my arms for my son. He then picked up the pace and ran into my arms crushing me with all of his nearly three year old strength.

"Its okay." he sighed playing with his fingers with a small tired pout

"Your mama just found a job, Kei." my sister said with a smile at her nephew

"Okay." he said disinterested. I smiled at this, he's so small and perfect and despite the fact that my pregnancy was not the easiest, it was worth it.

Two weeks later I found myself walking towards my new job. It was a sunny day and part of myself wished Kei was here to enjoy it with me. I can almost hear his voice calling my name begging me to play with him. I was lucky to have been blessed with him. My thoughts of my perfect child came to a halt as the gates of the house I would be working at came into view. Taking a deep breath I began walking to what I thought was the front door. This property was absolutely beautiful. Everything seemed like it was perfect, not even a pebble out of place. It was a calming place that seemed to inspire peace. For some reason this place looked oddly familiar and it only now hit me that this was the place where the master lived. Tengen had taken me here years ago when he became hashira while I was just starting to become a demon slayer. Before I left, I was one rank away from being hashira. I thought about training again, but now that I have my son I felt it was irresponsible. Plus I could never leave him.

"You must be Y/N." The master suddenly said and it made me wonder how long he was there for.

"Yes sir, its very nice to meet you. Thank you for having me." I said bowing to show respect to him.

"Of course. I am aware of your situation and am happy to give you work here." He said with a smile." Come with me and I'll show you the grounds.

Two weeks later

Working at this mansion feels peaceful and the work is harder than I expected, but the pay is well worth it. Today I raked, cut grass, and tended to the luscious gardens. The sun beamed down on me giving me a slight headache. Thankfully the day was almost over for me so that I could go home to my son and my sister. Kei has been begging me to take him here ever since my sister told him that the hashira train here. I have been reluctant of it since seeing Tengen might be a possiblilty and seeing a child in my arms was a conversation that I simply did not want to have yet, even though I knew one day it would happen. I heard light footsteps approach me. turning my head I saw one of the other workers and smiled at him. He was a kind man that was around my age and he and I had talked a few times.

"Hey there, how's the work today?" He questioned with a sweet smile.

"Same as always although its a little hotter than usual." I responded

"Yeah, but I like it when its hot because I know that cooler weather is around the corner." he said with a content smile

"That would be nice." I chuckled

"Oh, you should know that the hashira will be here tomorrow." he said seriously

"Well, I'll make sure to make myself scarce." I said trying to mask my nervousness.

"Don't, all you need to do is smile and show them respect." He smiled

"Will do." I laughed standing up.

"Well I will see you tomorrow and tell your son I said hi." he smirked

"I'll make sure to tell him, see you tomorrow." I bowed

I watched him leave with a fake smile on my face. As soon as he was out of sight I sighed as my stomach throbbed with uncomfortable uneasiness as I began waking to the shed to put my tools away with my head hung low. I was no where okay with the fact that Tengen was going to be here tomorrow. I thought that maybe I should call in sick, but no one would believe that. Even if they did, I’d feel too guilty about it. The best thing to do was to avoid seeing him and focus on my work. If I keep my head down and not do any quick movements, then he won’t see me, hopefully. My thoughts were completely consumed with my nerves that I didn’t even register that I had bumped into someone until I heard someone speaking.

“Hey watch where you walk, alright.” The voice snapped

“Forgive me, I wasn’t looking.” I said frantically bowing as to show respect and forgiveness.

“Y/N?” The voice questioned lowing its tone. I then stood up and as my eyes met with the stranger I immediately tended up. My breath hitched and my stomach dropped into the ground. The one and one Tengen Uzui stood before me in all of his flashy glory.

“Uhh, you gonna say anything?” He joked as his eyes raked over my body.

“Um hi.” I stuttered slightly unsure of what the hell to even do. And I tended even more so when his body came crashing into mine in a bone crushing hug. I could feel his urgency and I almost allowed myself to met into his arms. But I couldn’t because I knew it wasn’t right.

“I missed you.” He mumbled into my hair. “I’m so sorry Y/N, you didn’t deserve that.” He cried.

“I know.” I said monotone still unsure what to do. Do I tell him about our son or do I keep my mouth shut and pretend like any of this is okay?

“Where have you been?” He questioned breaking the hug but still standing close. I looked up at him and sighed.

“Here and there, but mostly I’ve been living with my sister.” I said honestly. I really couldn’t lie to this man he’s really good at sporting liars. As much as I hated him, I really didn’t feel like lying to him.

“Ahh so that’s where you’ve been. I though your sister moved away from here.” He said curiously.

“She was going to, but she decided to stay.” I responded trying not to show too much emotion.

“Guess I should’ve looked there.” He joked

“You looked for me?” I questioned as I raised an eyebrow.

“Of course I did you’re my wife and I love you.” He scoffed as though he was offended.

“I just thought you wouldn’t care.” I mumbled

“Of course I care.” Tengen sighed

“Well you sure as hell didn’t act like it then.” I snapped

“You’re right, I didn’t I was too hard on you. You made a simple mistake. Hell I’ve made mistakes too. Making mistakes in this line of work is never good, but no one died. I should’ve been easier on you and I’m sorry.” He spoke. His eyes were pleading with mine saying silent apologies.

“Thank you for apologizing, but I can’t forgive you right now. You make me feel like I was nothing and I’m not just going to forgive that easily. I know one day I will, but I just can’t now.” I whispered as tears threatened my eyes.

“That’s understandable, I just hope one day that we can be together again. I miss you and honestly you’re the best aspect of life.” He said with a longing gaze.

“I’m not sure about that. That might take a long time. I don’t exactly trust you.” I spoke honestly.

“Fair enough.” He sighed. I reluctantly decided that I should just rip the bandaid off. Kei was his son and as much as I hated to admit it, Tengen was honest about his apologies. That man doesn’t half ass anything. So I thought this might be the time.

“Look Tengen I-“Just as I was about to tell him the screeching voice of my child filled my ears and I knew I was fucked.

“Mama!” Kei screeched as he ran straight towards me crushing me into a hug. He nuzzled his head into my thigh and despite how nervous I was I smiled at how cute my baby was.

“We have a child.” I finished with an awkward smile. Tengen stood there stiff and unmoving which was strange for him. I had never seen him tense up like this ever and I began to regret not going home sooner.

“Mama who’s this and why is he so tall.” Kei questioned waking up to Tengen. “Hey, you okay?” He said as he poked Tengens hand.

“Ummm.” Tengen said still shocked at the fact that Kei, his son, was standing right there. Matching pink eyes and all.

“Ummm?” Kei questioned craning his head to the side. “That’s a weird name.” Kei said in disgust.

“Baby this is Tengen Uzui and he’s a hashira. And he’s also your father.” I said trying to stay as calm and collected as possible.

“You’re my dad.?” Kei asked Tengen with cute excited smile on his cubby face.

“Yeah, I guess I am kid.” Tengen whispered crouching down and pulling Kei towards him in a loving him. “I’m your dad.” Tengen cried.

I began to shed a few tears at how cute this meeting was. I felt slightly bad that I didn’t tell Tengen about our son, but I had good reasons not to. I’m just so glad that he seems to be a better and nicer man. My thoughts then came to a haunt as I noticed my sister wasn’t here nor was was neighbor that Kei likes to hang out with. Meaning he came here alone.

“Kei honey, did you walk here alone.” I questioned with my hands on my hips.

“Umm no.” He quickly said.

“Kei answer your mother honestly.” Tengen said sternly but not too much as to scare the child.

“Yeah okay I came here by myself. But I really missed you!” Kei cried quickly to defend himself

“I missed you too, but you need to wait until I get home.” I sighed looking at how adorable my son looked with a pout.

“Okay.” He said reluctantly. Smiling at my son hugging his father brought peace to me. And I then decided to do something that would bring us all together.

“Tengen, would you like to join us for dinner?” I questioned still looking at the cute scene before me.

“Absolutely I would!” He exclaimed standing up and picking up our son, swinging him in the air.

“Yay!” Kei screeched

Making eye contact with Tengen I have him a small smile. His eyes looked relaxed and happy and I’m glad that he found out about or son. He then came up to me smiling as well.

“Y/N thank you for allowing me to be with him. I will do by best to be the father he deserves and hopefully one day the man you deserve if that’s what you’d like.” He spoke

“Thank you, I’m sure you will. And for that second bit only time can tell.” I joked

“Sounds good to me. Alright shall we go?” Tengen suggested

“Yeah, I wanna show you my room!” Kei said

“I bet it’s the flashiest room ever.” Tengen said matching Kei’s energy.

“It sure is!” I exclaimed content about the situation that I was in. But I wondered something.

“Hey why are you here early?” I asked Tengen

“The master told me to come early.” He spoke

“Why?” I asked

“No idea, but something tells me this was the reason.” He spoke softly

“Maybe.” I responded shaking my head at the thought that the master was trying to play match maker again.

We walked to the house as Kei held Tengens hand as well as he could. While the adults caught up on the years and for the first time in a long time I felt happy to be near Tengen.

Thank you so much for reading💜 Thank you to whoever requested this! Sorry it took longer than expected.

Please fell free to comment, repost, and request.

Click here to see what I’ll write for and HERE for my master list.

•I do NOT own any characters except y/n and any original characters•

-L.W.L

[bellzsad]

No wait, elaborate on the dob being problematic post please. I feel so uneducated lol 💜

okay so first of all let me preface by saying: i LOVE dylan obrien. like, you see all these interviews where he's acting like the dream romcom love interest, and his connection with his castmates, and his personality. like it think that's a quality of his that we should praise. i also want to say that i am SO scared to post this ?? toxic girl fans are scary asf. but i've been wanting to make a post like this for a while, because like, yes, he is one of my fav actors but you can't say that you love him and not acknowledge some of the questionable things that have happened. ALSO let me say; i'm not saying that he should get cancelled. i'm not saying that he should face consequences, i just want to bring light to all of this because i think it's wrong to just overlook these things and act like nothing happened ?

okay so first: the twitter post. basically what happened was that when the overturn of roe v. wade and everything was going on, dylan tweeted "fuck your bible". this upset a lot of people, rightfully so !! he said it in the context that abortion should NOT be banned, as people were using the bible as an excuse FOR it to be banned. i respect that, HOWEVER - you can't just say that, i feel ? i don't know, i'm not religious so please don't take my word on this, i don't speak for the people, but just in general, like... that's someone's beliefs and religion. i think there was a better way to go about sharing his opinion. like, don't put down other people's beliefs because of your own? the message just comes across wrong and i know the intent was not malicious, but it's seriously something that makes me raise my eyebrow.

then we have rachael lange, who is dylan's current girlfriend. they started dating early 2023, i believe. for some background info, i guess, she's a model based in nyc.

so this is the main point of this post, because this is what honestly makes me the most upset, i guess ? so when people found out that they were together, obviously as people do, they did some digging. TURNS OUT rachael had some twitter posts, actually not some, but MANY racist tweets from her past. she said the n word, she joked about having pictures of children on her phone or smth (also hate tweets calling taylor swift a whore, which i'll get to later !!) - idk, you can look it up, i'm not going to get into the specifics on here. point is that it was terrible. she was at least 15 at the time here. the tweets span from like 2013 to 2015, but the taylor ones were in 2017. which like… you know not to say those things when you’re 15 ?? not to mention when you’re 16 and 17 and 18 or whatever. so age is NOT an excuse here.

HERE'S MY TAKE: and before you guys go "omg, bel, are you excusing racism? are you saying it's okay?" i am NOT saying that. do not put words in my mouth! whenever i look at controversies and things, i try to look at it from all angles. i try to understand every side. i try to step in everyone's shoes. so here's my thing:

dylan probably didn't know about the tweets before getting with rachael. do i think that after the tweets came out something should've happened? yes. however, if you spend time falling in love with someone, just to find out that they did something in their past - it's hard to just stop your feelings like that, understandably. i'm sure rachael now is, hopefully, not like that. i hope she's better. also, if you always focus on the past, you can't move on, so i can understand why dylan is still together with her, BUT:

he didn't even acknowledge the tweets? he's always been very open about his opinions and beliefs, and how people shouldn't be treated like that and yada yada so it's a bit hypocritical of him to just... not say anything. not address it. and CONTINUE to date her. the image he puts out is so positive, yet this is making it pretty negative, so...?

but anyway, we can't do anything about it. i just think that the whole situation is problematic asf, like yeah it's not dylan's fault for his girlfriend being an ass in the past, but this with everything else just feels a bit weird ngl.

OKAY i'm moving on now, the rachael thing is just sm, if you want me to elaborate please lmk because yeah

so the last thing is a SOMEWHAT a rumor. i want to make that clear. it's a rumor, HOWEVER there's a lot stacked up against it, so make of that what you will.

taylor swift hired dylan obrien to star in the all too well film alongside sadie sink a few years back. that was fine, dylan and taylor were then connected and that became a fun friendship that people were fans of! they were clearly on good terms. THEN he starts dating rachael, and it's like... what? because this man has not been to a single eras tour concert. but whatever, right? it is what it is.

but there's also gracie abrams, who is basically like taylor's little sister now. they have a song together, which is rumored to be about dylan obrien, because dylan and gracie were spotted together (prior to rachael and dylan becoming a thing) once. ONCE. dylan has been spotted with a bunch of girls before, such as sabrina carpenter, chloe grace moretz, etc., which obv sparked dating rumors but like whatever ?? however this just gets complicated because gracie is related to taylor, and if gracie's new song "cool" is about dylan (rumored), then things are a bit messy.

AGAIN, just a rumor. so this honestly to me isn't that problematic, but something definitely happened between taylor and dylan (most likely rachael + her tweets) to split them up, so it's not THAT innocent. but at the end of the day i don't really care about this taylor gracie stuff compared to the other two because it's a rumor and honestly just seems like a relationship that didn't work out. still worth mentioning tho.

THAT'S IT holy shit so scared to post this. again if u want me to elaborate LMK because i swear i'm not an asshole! i am just trying to view things from all angles and all perspectives and want to give ppl the benefit of the doubt (unfortunately i always see the good in people)

[always-is-always]

Ships - Solos - Antis - ARMYs 💜

When I took my first step as a Baby ARMY (literally newborn level) in 2019, I had ZERO base understanding of anything in the world of K-Pop. Not one iota of any previous experience, and no baseline to begin from.

So, when I took that second step, third step, and then the tumble down the Bangtan rabbit hole, I had a LOT of learning to do. That's putting it mildly.

I knew nothing about the music, the culture around the music, the people in that world of music, the history behind it, the culture of Korea, the language (of course!!), and everything else connected to it. I was starting like that newborn baby who couldn't communicate logically, and who didn't understand anything about what she was seeing and hearing.... All I knew what that I wanted to learn more.

When I first saw the words "ship" and "shipper", I had no idea what it meant. I had to Google it. lol... Here in the US, it isn't really a part of the music culture. At least for my generation...

I didn't understand what "jikook", "taekook", "vminkook", "yoonmin", etc... were. When I finally figured it out, I still didn't understand. I didn't understand why people combine names?? ���

When I started seeing references to "solos", "antis", "ot7", and such, it was confusing, as with those labels came a lot of emotional content. People loving. People hating. People projecting negativity onto other people who believed differently and felt differently. Literal fighting within the fandom.... what the heck, I thought?? What is this fandom? What is ARMY? Why do people hate on one another (total strangers most of the time), so publicly??

Four years into this, I still don't understand why people who claim to be ARMY have to brinig such negativity into the energy of the fandom. It just doesn't help anyone. It's certainly NOT what Namjoon, Seokjin, Hoseok, Yoongi, Jimin, Taehyung, or Jungkook would want. It's the opposite of what they would want.

Every single time I read an ARMY's words that they hate another ARMY/fan/human, it makes me cringe. I'm shocked at how easily people voice hatred and send it out into the world, just like exhaling a breath.

I shy away from embracing any label, in regards to my own identity in this life. Maybe it's because I've navigated on the planet for a long time (many lifetimes), and I see how labels create separation, war, judgement, and just more negative energy. Within the fandom it's the basic finger pointing and negativity, that turns me away.

As Human Beings, we are responsibile for every single word, every action, every thought, and all energy that we contribute to the Collective on this planet. Not one Soul is immune to this.

With everything that is happening out on the world stage, what and how we feel matters.

If we want to see changes occur within the fandom then the first step is taking responsibility, and making conscious choices. Begin with the removal of the word "hate", from one's vocabulary. The fandom is a reflection of bigger things that are happening on the world stage. Everything is connected, in the Collective Field.

Hopefully this will be the last time I post about this. It's not my preferred topic by any means. It is something that I'm cognizant of in my daily life, as I navigate this Earthly Path. It is important for us to be aware and to be conscious, as it is our contribution to life and this planet, every moment of every day. 💜🌏💜

[void-galaxy-shenanigans]

We’ve never made (& never planned to make) a pinned post of frequently asked questions (FAQs) or important info but...here we are. After an influx of new people, I think it might be time to make a proper introductory post.

Heads up that this will be long because I don’t want multiple parts. I’ll drop a read-more line after the basic info so you can choose whether to read the rest.

~~

¡Hi! We are the Void Galaxy (that’s a D.I.D. system name). We are a traumagenic system with D.I.D. Welcome to our blog.

We’ll start with basics, go over a lil history, & then have terms, tags, side blogs, rules, & FAQs (in that order).

So here is a masterpost for all of the info that y’all may need on our page.

Note that I’ll elaborate on in rules/boundaries: We don’t mind “spamming” likes & reblogs. It’s completely okay to do so on this blog or our side blogs 💜.

~Nico

~~~

Basics:

Profile Picture (PFP): ¡We didn’t make the art in our PFP! We got it from @nightcatssketchbook 💜

Body’s age: 24 years

Pronouns: he/they collectively, but headmates vary & we’ll attempt to remember to include pronouns with names when someone new posts.

We’re also all for being thrown a curveball (unexpected) pronoun, as long as it’s not she/her (very much doesn’t fit us) or it/its (doesn’t fit us). We may not like every one people use, but as long as it’s used in good faith, we probably won’t mind. Unless it’s a headmate who requests otherwise, or it’s Serenity (who uses they/she, making her the only headmate who still uses she/her at all; they’re open to curveball pronouns except for he/it), most pronouns are fair game. So...¿surprise us?

Gender Identity: We usually say nonbinary-ish man. Our lover offered boyflux / manflux and that’s the best specific label we have.

(We tend to explain our gender day to day very differently. Sometimes queer man, sometimes wizard/sorcerer, sometimes abstract concept, or something genderless/agender. It doesn’t stay still. The only thing we are not (even including Serenity, who is feminine-ish nonbinary)) is a girl.)

¿AGAB?: The biological sex we were accused of at birth is none of your business. We were convicted as a nonbinary-ish man as an adult and that’s what matters.

¿Number of Headmates?: We are polyfragmented and honestly I’ve lost track at this point 😭

¿When did we discover we had D.I.D.?: The journey began with undeniable evidence in early 2019. We were first medically confirmed in June of 2020.

¿Who is fronting for / writing this post?: My name is Nicolás Carriedo, but everyone calls me Nico and I usually tag myself as Nico on this blog. You can usually identify me from español being slipped in to posts, purple emoji hearts 💜, & sometimes ¿? ¡! and other tone tags (others use those sometimes).

I’m an age slider (my age varies from stress), but I’m usually 18 to the body’s age. (Sometimes I’ll be 5 or 7 or 9 or otherwise a little for a bit. (Similar to age regression, except my body in headspace slides to match and I forget everything that happened after that age, and it’s a D.I.D. experience & because I also age regress sometimes.)) As far as roles, I’m a frequent fronter right now, but I’m also a protector and trauma holder.

(Please do nOT call me Nick, I hate it and that’s not my name, & I won’t respond to it. My name is español / de España. I also have two dads and an older brother in system with me.)

~~~

History / where & when this blog began:

This blog began as a reblogging and sneaky backdoor-into-the-internet blog back in 2011 (was not supposed to have Internet or computers, so we used school computer labs and libraries), and became a fandom and shenanigans page back in 2013. In 2019 to 2020, it also became a bit of a healing journey & mental health page as we ended up with undeniable evidence that we were plural and needed a place to vent those feelings and discoveries that our biological (bio) family, and especially our bio parents, would not find.

Now it is becoming a mix of shenanigans and reblogs, and actual advice and knowledge and theories and discoveries, and sometimes a place where we mention or discuss witchcraft and polytheism. (I don’t know when it officially became a blog that people followed for the reassurance and theories and advice, but here we are.)

~~~

Terms:

• Plurality / Multiplicity (noun / adjective): refers to the fact that one brain & body has multiple people in it, whether they have OSDD-1 or D.I.D.

• System(s) (noun): the collective people sharing a brain & body, or identifying as a unit. This can be two people or many. A system is a single group; systems refers to multiple bodies who experience plurality. Some systems also have subsystems, groups within the same body/mind that identify as or are considered somehow separate from the main system.

• Headmates, Headmages, Mindmages, Mindmates, etc. (noun): these refer to the people in a plural system. Each individual person is a headmate, mindmate, etc., including the host(s) &/or gatekeeper(s). The term in the DSM is “alters” but that refers to ‘alternate personalities’, which treats us as facets of a whole, like some monstrous Frankenstein’s monster, that doesn’t actually exist. Headmates/mindmates is akin to calling them roommates (we live together and share a space; we can be friends or family, but can also be strangers who never meet or strictly business partners or acquaintances or etc. & don’t automatically get along, so roommates encompasses all possibilities for us). As for mindmages/headmages, my keyboard auto-corrected to this once and I stared at it and laughed, and started actually using it because I loved the idea of magic & fantasy being interwoven with our existence. The most common term you’ll see us (& some other systems) use is headmates.

• Fronting/Fronted (verb - to front): the act of controlling the body & interacting with the outside world. This can be the person writing/typing, speaking, doing chores, taking care of the body, etc.. For some systems, this is like puppeteering from a distance, and others it’s like a computer or video game console, and there are likely other ways this is represented (all systems are unique).

• Front (noun): the physical/mental place from which we front (verb). This can be a blank space for some systems, or a house, or something more complicated. Our fronting space is currently a room that has computer screens to see outside (3 screens; peripheral vision (2) + central vision), and we control the body via PS3 remote controls like a video game. Sometimes there will be multiple people stealing one remote or passing it around, and sometimes there will be multiple remotes as we share control of the body & voice. There's a city around the building and all the buildings are made of a reddish brown brick. (I have a very vivid imagination so we have a vivid headspace that I built to make the space more comfortable.)

• Co-conscious (co-con) (verb / noun (place)): when a mindmage is conscious of the outside world, near enough to the fronting space to observe what the others are doing, but not in control of the body.

• Co-front(ing) (verb): when two or more headmates front together. There might be a primary fronter with others co-front, close enough to control the body &/or speak, or there may be 2 or more headmates splitting the controls.

• Mindscape, Headspace, Mind Palace, etc. (nouns): the physical place inside our mind where we go when we dissociate. If we dissociate a little we see the fronting space, but if we switch out or dissociate to co-con we can see different parts of it. Some people have a blank space or no visuals, and some have vivid &/or complex headspaces. Our mindscape is complex and vivid.

• Roles: these are the jobs that headmates may be assigned. They describe the tasks that person usually does. This can be a person remembering trauma the other(s) can’t handle (trauma holder), the person protecting the system or a headmate from further trauma (protector, persecutor), the person taking care of the physical body or helping the body cope through heavy emotions or flashbacks (caretaker, caregiver), or more.

~~~

Tags:

• # ~Nico, # ~Jack, or other # ~name tags — these are fronting tags. We may forget sometimes but are trying to consistently tag whoever wrote or reblogged a post in the post &/or the tags.

• # original art, # original photography, # original character, etc. - these are photos, art pieces, & characters we designed. They may be reblogs from our other side blogs, but they are ours. Unless marked, any photography or characters we reblog don’t belong to us. However, other people’s art with be marked with # not my art or # not our art

• # Liliana, # Liliana 🐱, # Lili, # Lili 🐱, # our kitty, # my kitty - We have a calico kitty named Liliana (nickname Lili). Sometimes we talk about her or share photos 💜. These tags mark when a post is about her.

~~~

Side Blogs:

@void-galaxy-art-stuffs - ¡art we’ve made! Some of this may contain triggering content / topics though, so scroll at your own discretion.

@void-galaxys-photos - photos we’ve taken. These are all taken on cell phones (most recently (past 3 years), Samsung Galaxy S8, Samsung Galaxy S21, & Moto One 5G Ace (Motorola)). We often take pictures of nature, especially clouds.

@note-to-self1119 - these are notes we need, directed at our younger self, but they may be helpful for others

@teaquotes48 - these are quotes I’ve found on tea bags when we drink cold/flu tea. Some of those quotes were just worth sharing 🤷‍♂️☺.

@wpffw - this is where we share writing prompts that are quotes or scenes from stories. Two or three are from our creative writing class in high school, two or three are ideas, and we occasionally reblog prompts/quotes, but the rest are quotes & scenes from our own writing. We hoped someone else may benefit from prompts in this style, after we discovered a lot of prompts were too vague or too specific or just...not inspiring or giving us ideas and that we write easier from lines out of books and TikTok videos and songs than we do from those. The blog name stands for Writing Prompts For Fictional Writers. It's a couple years old and has around 170 prompts. Prompts are primarily around fantasy & magic and queer & trans characters, & of course plenty of trauma & comfort trope scenes/quotes, with some exceptions.

@say-it-with-me-affirmations - affirmations we have written down for y’all to look through and benefit from

~~~

Rules & Boundaries:

• We are not a medical professional, or licensed psychologist. There will be questions where all we can do is tell you to seek professional help.

• Asks (including anon) are open. If you have a question we may be able to answer, ask. The most we’ll do is say we aren’t comfortable answering your question, or reply privately to your ask. You will not be belittled, mocked, or bullied for what you don’t know, and we are comfortable answering most questions around our plurality (and some other categories). If we have the spoons you will likely get an answer. It’s also okay to use asks to say hi, or to let us know our content helped you in some way (on or off anon). ¡We also post ask games sometimes and would love it if people participated in those with us!

• That said, hateful or cruel asks will be deleted and blocked. We may also delete other asks at our discretion. We are not obligated to answer every ask, and may choose not to sometimes.

• Our ask box is not a space for donation requests. We don’t have money to help anyone, and it’s likely our followers don’t either. We may boost existing posts, but won’t start a new one from asks. We wish you the best in getting that help, but that’s not what this page is for.

• LGBT+ hate won’t be tolerated on this blog, or our side blogs. This includes bioessentialism, trans-misogyny, trans-misandry, transphobia, enbyphobia, aphobia (acephobia, arophobia), biphobia, etc. Your replies or asks will be deleted and you will be blocked.

• Sexism, racism, and other bigotry (-isms, -phobias) won’t be tolerated on this blog or our side blogs. Your replies or asks will be deleted and you will be blocked.

• Free Palestine (stop the genocide), BLM, ACAB, and anti-capitalism. If you disagree with any of those movements, please block us and leave our page. If you argue any of these points, your replies or asks will be deleted and you will be blocked.

• We are long overdue for a full-scale revolution (pro LGBT+, pro ‘cringe’ / weirdness, pro true freedom, pro neurodivergent, pro culture, pro choice & for people making medical decisions about their own bodies (medical gender transitions / gender affirming care, abortion or post partum care, etc.), pro (better) therapy, pro emotional maturity, anti-racist, anti-capitalist, anti police / ACAB, anti occupation/colonization, anti ableist, anti white supremacy, anti conversion/assimilation). Either get out of the way or join us.

• Please please please reblog from us. We don’t mind “spamming” likes & reblogs. It’s actually very fun for us to witness / be notified about. If you like our content, 100% ¡share it, reply to it, send us asks about it! Engagement is not at all annoying or problematic. 💜☺

~~~

FAQs:

Q: ¿What does “medically confirmed” mean?

A: We have not been told if we have a professional diagnosis on paper yet. But we have been openly acknowledged by 3 different licensed medical professionals and repeatedly told to seek a D.I.D. specialist for a professional diagnosis.

~

Q: ¿How did you get medically confirmed 3 times?

A: After a year of therapy (first time around; ended June 2020), our therapist said she “[had] met 26 of [us]” and that she highly recommended we got to a D.I.D. specialist. (We did not know how to find, or have money for, a specialist at the time.) That means a professional confirmed our existence. This happened again with our new therapist (began August 2023), who has already distinctly met 3 of us (me, Lucca, & Serenity). We know because we’re getting more comfortable openly presenting as plural; I usually wear blue (shirt + button up / flannel) with the body’s natural hair, but Lucca wore a wig that looks like his hair in headspace and a green outfit (shirt + flannel) and Serenity (they/she) wore a wig and a dress with a coat over it that covered up our chest (we agreed to let her not bind in the therapy room as long as they wore a coat to hide our chest elsewhere). Our therapist has also encountered (co-conscuious, has spoken aloud but wasn’t fronting) Jack several times, and this week she encountered Wolfe and Sylver for the first time. So that’s two therapists. And lastly, our psychiatrist asked about what the intake person had only noted as “hears voices” (I explicitly called it D.I.D. so that was rude), & I was honest. By the second check-in on meds, she explicitly asked us “who’s fronting today?” (she met me, Nico, before that but I was alone, & that time there were 3 others with me, no clue how she knew) & especially after that session (we were switchy and talking to eachother aloud) she agreed that she saw signs of D.I.D. and that we should seek a specialist when we can. Between all of those, that makes us triple medically confirmed. (Technically our current therapist has an intern shadowing her who has also seen and acknowledged our D.I.D./plurality, but she's not licensed yet.)

~

Q: ¿Do you believe that D.I.D./OSDD-1 has to be professionally diagnosed to be valid?

A: Absolutely not. Access to professional diagnosis is limited and often expensive. It can take up to 15 years (and sometimes several medications) to get the correct diagnosis, and the minimum is usually 3 to 5 years. I do think that self diagnosis should be careful and involve official research papers (using Google Scholar if needed, but preferably using scientific journals if you can access them), because (a) confirmation bias (believing you have something & ignoring any evidence to the contrary) & (b) there are similar disorders that may fit better. There has also been some stigma and misinformation spread on social media (and in movies) to be wary of. But I do believe that most self diagnosed D.I.D./OSDD systems are correct about their own experience and are completely valid.

~

Q: ¿Are there movies or TV shows where I can learn more about D.I.D. or see it represented? ¿Are there ones I should avoid?

A: Yes, if you take them with a grain of salt because they are still dramatized and may contain misinformation or stigma or other biases. Most systems believe Moonknight (a TV show on Netflix) is the current most accurate representation. But as far as avoiding representation, or being cautious to do high levels of misrepresentation or only representing dangerous & negative stories around plurality, please avoid or be careful with The Crowded Room, & Split & Glass.

~

Q: ¿Did you shatter/break as a child? / ¿How did you become plural?

A: (No.) The current most supported theory (supported by evidence with replicable results, but psychology is a newer science and not a hard science so not 100% proven) says that everyone is born with identity fragments. These fragments integrate with a single identity and memory at 9 to 12 years old, in healthy childhood. This creates a multifaceted personality, or the phenomenon of people being a different person with their family vs coworkers vs lovers. When a child forms plurality (D.I.D./OSDD-1), repeated trauma (mixed with severe trauma, or smaller trauma compounding) prevents these fragments from fully integrating their identity, memory, or both. These fragments get separated by amnesia walls (they forget about one another, forget about memories or separate identities or both, & can't access or integrate with one another), which then forces each individual fragment to form its own multifaceted identity. The difference between 1a, 1b, & D.I.D. is the degree of identity separation / distinctly different people and the degree of amnesia (forgetting trauma, day to day events, &/or switches). The identity & memory separation cannot be from religious or cultural experiences (e.g. shamanic practices or religious trances) and has to be persistent (the minimum observation time prior to professional diagnosis is one year). It's usually a covert disorder, but if someone discovers their plurality it can start to reveal itself in more obvious ways.

(Spirit (one of our headmates) actually wants to combine these into one label, something along the lines of ‘traumatic amnesia with plurality’, & (similar to autism) have what is now separate diagnoses be scales under a single label (degrees of identity & memory separation), but unless that happens they are considered three separate and related disorders.)

~~~

If you actually read this far, thank you so much, and welcome to our page! 💜

¿What song, band, or playlist saved your life when you were at your lowest?

(¡tell us asks, replies, or reblogs if you want to!)

(My answer: Citizen Soldier (Let It Burn, Would Anyone Care; ICU, You Are Enough), but also sometimes Simple Plan or other bands/songs.)

~Nico

[baby-girl-aaron-dessner]

After that, I was in Pedro Pascal's fandom for a year or almost two years, I don't remember, I think fandoms have a lot of hypocrisy, Pedro's fans pretend to accept everyone, like he accepts everyone, but the history of his life, how old he is, how he was born in another country and being an immigrant in the United States, you understand, why he is so different from other men or people of his generation in having an open mind, but some fans, who are American white or European people don't understand, and they don't accept you, even if you're from the same fandom as them and you're a fan of his, so nowadays, I don't consider myself part of his fandom anymore, especially because I'm a Latina like him, and I'm just an admirer of his work and the person he is.//

Oh anon I feel you.

I was not in the pedro fandom but a different male actor, I am still kind of involved but have been keeping my distance.

I know this is not the point of you ask but I actually felt this in my souls because yes fandoms revolving around male actors are more problematic than female fandoms (hope that makes sense I am not sure how to word it.)

I can’t explain to you how many times I have expressed my opinion on an ongoing matter only to be hated on or bullied.

It was not a safe space for anyone.

Even the “safe space” blogs are toxic.

Let me paint you a picture, they have accused his significant other of racism, culture appropriation, body shaming and even have gone as far as called her a n*zi and tried to prove it. But at the same time they have done all of that (not the n*zi thing but the other things)

They have made fun of her baby shape, her looks, her style and everything under the sun and then turn around and say we don’t approve of the things she has done. And I know the criticism of her is valid but she was a child when a lot of it was done and people can change, this not me defending her behaviour but me giving her the benefit of the doubt due to her age.

This affected me because I kind of look like her and have similar physique. And whenever I called them out I was blamed for defending her. And the hate he got. I mean they bullied him off of social media. I cannot image what it must have felt like to be completely hated on from the people who are supposed to support you.

Which is so different than what I have experienced with the Taylor Swift fandom with unconditional support, no matter what they love on her unconditionally and no matter what.

It’s absolutely ridiculous.

Which is why I love your blog even if we don’t agree you are always nice and open for a conversation. You always tell it’s a safe space and that’s so true 🥰❤️ you are really an amazing person.

@swiftpascal check this out!!!

I’m sorry you’ve gone through this anon but please know that you are not alone. I’m not in any male fandoms but I am in some male dominated fandoms and it sometimes feels like we’re in the trenches out here. Having to explain basic decency and respect to men (and women who have internalised misogyny) in these fandoms is a disenchanting experience.

I hope you find safety and solace in some of our online communities. I also hope that you realise that you are beautiful and perfect just the way you are. We will support you and be here for you whenever you need <3

Also thank you for all of the compliments. You’ve made my week 💜💜💜

[maya-matlin]

Hi Ashton, I love your blog and wanted to ask whether there are any ships that you WANTED to like and objectively know are good couples but which you just can't muster any actual feelings for? For me it's Brulian. Like objectively they're great at least starting in s8 when they suddenly rewrote Julian's whole personality and I love that Brooke found happiness. BUT they just don't spark anything for me when I see them on screen, their chemistry is meh, their connection feels forced, and what is with Julian's ongoing obsession with Brooke's high school life and the fact that she was "popular" even when they're in their mid to upper 20s lol! Another one is Steroline. Friends to lovers, personalities that should perfectly complement each other and so on, but in reality they were so flat, and the acting and writing never sold me on them being anywhere close to in love. And the biggest one: Joey/Pacey. Everyone I know adores them and I wanted to ship them, but they just go overboard with the nonstop bickering to the point where they almost never seem truly compatible to me, Joey keeps choosing other guys over Pacey for the final two seasons - even that Eddie guy and then some rando from NY - and I just always feel like there's this imbalance where about 90% of the time Pacey is a lot more into Joey than she's into him? Anyway those are my confessions re solid ships I wanted to love but just don't give me any real feels. I would love to hear yours!

Hi! 💜 Thank you so much!

So to begin with, I definitely agree about Brulian. Their relationship is fine and relatively healthy, but I find it impossible to care about their romantic relationship. It's almost unfair that I compare them to Brucas because objectively, Brooke's relationship with Julian had a much stronger foundation and he treated her better than Lucas ever did. I mean, Julian was in a much better place by the time they became a couple and didn't have Lucas's baggage. But at the same time, so much time was dedicated to Brooke's reaction to her first love betraying her with her best friend to the point she spent years avoiding love. Even when she seemed to think she'd found it such as when she dated Chase, eventually Brooke was forced to realize that it wasn't the real thing and likely just a rebound. I guess I wanted more from their relationship? The chemistry was fine, but nothing special. They lacked the rawness of Brooke and Lucas. Sometimes, chemistry isn't everything. But when the story is nothing special and it's so late into the series AND the chemistry isn't grabbing you, this leads to a situation where it's difficult to root for the pairing even when you want to. But yeah, Julian clearly had some insecurities regarding the fact he was the high school geek and romanticized the idea of Brooke and co's high school experience. Because obviously, nothing could ever be better than growing up in a small, southern, most definitely conservative town where its mayor murdered his own brother.

I can't speak for Stefan/Caroline yet because I've still only seen the first season of the show, but I understand why you feel that way. I've seen that sentiment expressed before. On paper, they're my type of ship, so I'm curious how I'll respond to their romantic relationship. Because so far, I'm really enjoying Stefan's relationship with Elena and hating the inevitable Elena/Damon thing.

Yeah.. I can't agree with your Pacey/Joey opinion at all. But I will say that Joey really suffered writing wise because she needed to be a possible love interest to both Dawson and Pacey. So Joey needed to appear as though she loved Pacey and was committed to him. But at the same time, there needed to be enough doubt and ambiguity that whenever the writers were ready, they could pull the plug and act like it was always Dawson for Joey. Which is basically what happened for like a season. As a result, Pacey appears more into Joey because he had no reason to be conflicted in universe. IDK. I promise I'm not trying to change your opinion. Just trying to discuss what I think went wrong LOL. Anyways, I'm sorry you weren't able to invest in their relationship!

I think my actual answers are likely to be a disappointment, but I'll try.

Fiona/Imogen (Degrassi): Maybe it's because I wasn't super into Fiona's story lines during this time. Maybe I just struggled to care about any relationship that wasn't Zig and Maya's in season 12. But for some reason, I never cared about these two. I acknowledge they were sweet and overall healthy. If I was watching for the first time now, I'd probably be on board. But because I already know how their story line plays out, there's no excitement for me? So I don't see my opinion on their relationship ever changing.

Dallas/Alli (Degrassi): I blame my disinterest on the fact Alli went from boyfriend to boyfriend for multiple seasons. The writers' favorite pastime was luring Alli into a false sense of security before her latest relationship blew up in some brutal fashion. Dallas was boyfriend #5, right after Alli's abusive (brief) husband. It's obvious to me Dallas was truly in love with Alli and treated her the best out of all of her boyfriends, but I never bought it on Alli's end. I feel like Alli settled for Dallas after her marriage came to a shocking, traumatizing end and entered a relationship with him while she was still healing from that. Besides, I think this story line was done even better with Dave, someone I actually believed Alli loved, following her first two terrible relationships. The writers not so subtly traded one, black main character for another and pushed Dave out of the show the minute Dallas gained prominence.

Clay/Quinn (OTH): Overall, the later seasons weren't as well written as the early ones. I feel like there was a certain pressure to immediately establish Clay and Quinn as the couple to root for. Before we were familiar with their individual characters, they were being shoved into scenes together, confiding in each other over Clay's dead wife and Quinn's failed marriage. It didn't work for me? I mean, I felt more watching the flashbacks to Clay and Sara's romance than I ever felt with Clay and Quinn in three seasons. They were fine. It's nice they made each other happy, and they were a cute family with Logan. But I was indifferent to the relationship itself.

Tim/Lyla (Friday Night Lights): To be fair, I've only seen this show once. Everything indicates they'd be a couple I'd like. The chemistry was there. It's hard not to invest in the "guy falls for his best friend's girlfriend/ex" story line unless it's Archie and Betty. The actors were gorgeous together. Tim brought out a more fun, lighter side to Lyla. But I couldn't bring myself to care about them, and I'm not sure why. Something didn't feel right.

[the-shadowsingers-whore]

warning: i'm about to be controversial

so i very rarely talk about controversial acotar opinions (i.e. gwynriel vs elriel) outside of mumblings in my own tags bc i don't really feel like arguing with people. i'm just here to have a good time and talk about books, but for some reason the acotar fandom can get real heated (and low key toxic) sometimes.

that being said....

i can't not talk about nesta.

i know so many people do not like acosf and absolutely hate nesta, but honestly i think her character is so real and validating to a lot of people.

yes, her behavior in acosf (and also acofas) is absolutely not okay and she is horrible to so many people. and while that's not cool in any regards you have to remember: she is suffering

her entire life was turned upside down and then she went through a shit ton of traumatic, gruesome events all in like a month or two. she didn't even have time to come to terms with her new body/new world before she experienced some of the worst things possible (not to count the terrifying powers she knows she has, but doesn't know how to control).

so she reacts by coping in horrible ways. as people do before they learn how to handle their trauma in healthy ways.

and before you come at me and say "well everyone else has experienced trauma and didn't act like that" i would like to remind you that all of them have had their moments before finally starting to heal. elain turned into a shell of a person, not eating or doing anything for months. cassian literally slaughtered dozens of people and decimated an entire village when he found out what happened to his mom.

i'm not excusing her behavior in any way shape or form. but i have such a deep appreciation for the way her character is written and how much she struggles to heal. the inside look into her thoughts and feelings is so validating.

i think a lot of people felt so seen reading some of things nesta thinks about herself/her life (i know i did). here are just a couple examples of times when i was reading that i actually had to stop for a moment bc the words hit a little too hard.

"i am worthless and i am nothing. i hate everything that i am. and i am so, so tired. i am tired of wanting to be anywhere but in my own head." acosf p. 78

she had failed in every aspect of her life. utterly and spectacularly failed, and keeping other from realizing it had been her main purpose. she had shut them out, had shut herself out, because the weight of all those failures threatened to shatter her into a thousand pieces." acosf p. 267

"it scared her more than anything. that utter lack of feeling. how good it had felt, to be so removed." acosf p. 383

like.......damn.

also i know she was a pos to feyre both growing up and throughout most of the books. she's absolutely terrible to her. but, i would like to just point out that people change. and watching her slowly realize her mistakes and start to rebuild her relationship with feyre throughout acosf is really beautiful.

anywhooo i know this post is getting really long, but basically all of this is just to say that i think having a character like nesta is so important to a lot of people. i truly appreciate how sjm writes her characters to be real people with real experiences (minus the magic and horribly gruesome torture) that her readers can relate to.

thanks for actually reading this whole post and if you still don't like nesta that is totally fine (everyone has a right to their own opinions), but please don't bombard me with hate. this is just meant to be me sharing my own thoughts and feelings. 💜

[cat-of-starlight]

Oh my Goodness! Jacq is one of my favorites too! If you do not mind, could you do the Blorbo Character Sheet for him? And Cilan too if that is not too much to ask; I am interested to see your opinions on him since he’s 50/50 with the fandom who watched the anime.

My boys,,,, (Sorry this took so long, the holidays happened!!)

Gonna talk about each as I go because I Lov them <3 (and the energies they both give are similar but different so they need their own sections)

Ok, starting with Jacq-

Sweet boy, I LOV- As I’ve jokingly said to friends of mine “I like my men sweet, slightly fruity, and clearly neurodivergent” he fits all three of those boxes so well, and I actually get to bother him ingame, which is a plus.

Literally, he is the main reason I am completing my Pokédex… I am less than 10 Pokémon away.. what have I become?? The things I do for the sweet characters I enjoy 🥺💜

-Cracks knuckles- I’m SO glad you mentioned the fandom perception of him because BOY HOWDY

Generally, I love him for most of the same reasons as Jacq, but let’s talk anime specific things about him , since unlike Violet, I can’t play Black to go bother him because no content 😔

I’ll admit, the initial reason I was drawn to him was his VA (I mean look at my icon, of course I fell for the character w/ the same VA as my 1st childhood hyperfixation), but as I kept watching, I LOVED how passionate he was about everything. At the time I was watching, I was still young and had no personal concept of what neurodivergence even was, and to see a character be SO passionate about things in such a way, it excited me- it was nice to see a character who at did something like me, if even just a little-

So FURTHERMORE, it was HEARTBREAKING to see how the damn cast (and the fandom on top of that) treated him!! Let!! Him!! Talk!! About food and trains!! Let my boy hyperfixate in PEACE!!

I remember specifically being heartbroken about how there was a moment where they were around, which generic protag girl was it, I think Dawn (idk I didn’t watch every season, and some I watched when I was very little so I don’t remember), but Cilan was trying SO hard to be helpful/also hyperfixating, and the cast basically went “lmao don’t care” and the next scene cuts to him looking sad and rejected in the corner, like HELLO??

Fun fact/side tangent about another character in that season which is related to this- A lot of people love various versions of Iris because uwu cute dragon trainer girl or something, but the way she treats Cilan in the anime made me HATE her in every media. Also I don’t put Axews in my party ever because they make me think of that tiny annoyance

Anyway, I definitely encountered him at a pivotal point in my life and I WISH he was treated better by the cast and fanbase

[evansblues]

"You’ve basically gotten what I’ve been consistently getting for months. Unhappiness, turmoil, discontent, yet the situation remains with no explanation as to why. I also frequently get more information than I specifically asked for. It’s as though the energy is so chaotic it wants to just spill the whole story. This reading paints a picture of chaos and war. Thanks you for sharing. 💜🌷"

Yes, so it's not just me that get extra bits to this situation sometimes. For months everything comes out as the worst couple reading known to mankind, yet here we are. something is very fishy. I did a quick reading this morning on Chris current energy because I did on if there is a wedding but not on him. this is going to be my last reading on it. i got these and I was like come on, this can't be for real. stop playing a joke on me Spirit. Im gonna take them but I don't like it because I want him to be happy. I want all people to find there happiness, Alba too. If it was with each other it would show that so Im so confused. Now I want to clear that this is just my interpretations of the cards I was given and energy shifts every minute. This reading today might not be the same in a weeks time. This was what spirit allowed/shared with me and as a reader I do my best to translate the message.

but here are the cards about Chris's Current energy as of this morning

Queen of Cups(rx)

4 of Cups

Tower

10 of Swords(Rx)

Sun; I wanted to clarify to see what this Sun at the end was about and got The Lovers(rx)

Queen of Cup in reverse is such an emotional energy and not in a good way most of the time. Im talking depression and self loathing type of feelings. when she is paired with better card she can point to feelings of fantasy and sometimes swooning over an object of desire. BUT seeing her fellow cards that were drawn ain't no swooning. IF she was up right it would be better. But she's not and Paired with the 4 of cups there's a lot of emotion here and NOT ONE I would wish on anyone when it comes to the recent events. the 4 of cups is a card regret, depression and frustration. NO new Groom/husband energy should ever give you the 4 of cups when asking how he is feeling about getting married. there's no way to spin that in a positive way. Especially sandwiched in between that reversed queen and the ever looming Tower.

That Tower has followed Chris for a long while now. and so many have question and wondered if every little thing was his tower moment. The earth has shook, foundation has shifted, the tower has fallen. Your world has been shaken to the point of destruction and there is no saving it. again the Tower shouldn't show up in a reading regarding the energy around a wedding. Also The Tower is a card of Divorce. Well, if there was in fact a legal wedding that happened this weekend... it don't look good for the long term. The Tower followed by the 10 of Sword. I hate it.

Another 10 and this one is the most violent of the four. again 10s are a completion, and 10 of Sword is going to leave you bloody. You have failed in your journey and you hit rock bottom. But you can always climb back up because endings bring new beginnings and it's up to him on how the next journey shall go. This 10 is the darkness before the light of the Sun shines in.

Drawing the Sun in the upright position, I was shocked because everything else sucks. The Sun following that 10 of Swords is a good thing. This is Happiness and joy. The sun card should been at the top of the reading if they are so in love and he's the happiest he's ever been. But it comes after the tower and 10 of swords. whatever was before those weren't making you happy. The Sun card allows you to be free and able to express yourself. These feeling are only noticed when one has be burdened with something like 10 sword in your back. Being in love shouldn't make you feel like that. The sun bring truth to the surface and that truth allows you freedom.

The sun was clarified by a less optimistic card The Lovers in reverse. The lovers in this position is not great in readings about love. remember I said the Tower is a card of divorce well the Lovers reversed is conflict and detachment. In reversed position there is a ending of a relationship. I wanted to know why That sun made an appearance and it seems this is it. Disunion of the Union that has be bond in the vows of marriage.

That’s what happens every time! Yup, ok, yes that matches, wait what are you doing here? There’s always that one card that isn’t like the others.

Excellent reading again. Thank you. 💜🌷

[1d1195]

SAM MY LOVE DO I HAVE TO CATH YOU UP ON LIFE😭

Once again none of this will make sense bc it’s all over the place lol

So I’ve been a bit absent for so many reasons and for once it’s not my mental health lol so idk if you remember but i mentioned something about my allergies killing me but turns out it was so much more than allergies 😭 like bestie I GOT SICK! Like sick sick 😭 nothing serious thankfully but it has been very inconvenient timing! I’ve had three midterms to do this past week and sadly I could not get out of them so i basically did them while being on flu medication 😭 like I was not there at all lol I was for sure going through it lol I simply just couldn’t exist and I really had to force myself to be present for those exams lol but I’m a bit better now! A great improvement compared to the beginning of the week lol still not 100% but better!

I sadly had to cancel my plans to go out this weekend too 😔 tragic since I was looking forward to seeing my friends lol

ANYWAYSSSSS in my state of been on too much flu medicine (or is due to the mental illness🤪) I kept getting certain songs stuck in my head and this lyric “ I know it’s hard for you to take a compliment but my life began the day you came into it.” This reminds me of you and your stories! Like it’s very sad and sweet depending on how you view and I know I’m generalizing it but alot of your stories, at least for me, are always so sweet yet can literally break me lol

ALSOOOO bestie I read part 4 and it was so good!!!! I WAS NOT EXPECTING THEIR FIRST DATE AT ALL?!? So that was a nice surprise lol and the fact that they didn’t even make it to dinner it was just kinda cute for them!! Like i don’t think it seems a bit rushed only because at this point they have known about each other for a while and like it’s fiction so this is fine lol but ahh i love that they finally kissed lol im so excited for the next few parts!! Also please don’t feel rushed or pressed to post! I know how busy May will be and it’s okay for missing a weeks of posting!

Also it’s so adorable you get told you look like Belle! Getting compared to a Disney princess is cute! Unless you hate it then idk how to deal with that lol oh blue being your fave makes sense considering your blog theme is blue! I personally don’t have a fave but I do gravitate towards purples and blues but I don’t wear them lol and the thing about undertones and stuff I simply don’t understand that😭like it’s all so confusing for me hahah

I’m sorry your week didn’t start off well :( and knowing that two coworkers had to step in seems like it was rough! I’m sorry that you had to go through that! But I hope you’re better now or at least feel a bit calmer! Being in one’s head too much can be a very tricky and sometimes hard to get out of! I hope your week went a bit better. Hope that your treat yourself a bit this weekend and that you do something that makes you smile!!! I love you so much!!!-💜

I hate getting sick when the weather is getting warmer! (However, in my head, you told me you live on the West Coast and it's always kind of baseline warm so I assumed you were in California but maybe I'm mistaken but if that's the case I guess it's always warm but now it's warmER--anyway!!!) I'm so sorry you were under the weather! I figured midterms were taking most of your attention but fighting illness at the same time 😭 what a tough week!

I know how you feel. My friend invited me to get Chipotle and I declined because I simply reached my limit this week on people and everything. I felt so bad! I actually think she was kind of upset but like I just couldn't fathom going out for an hour+ when I had more stuff to do. Also I was a little annoyed that she made me feel bad about it. Idk, I'm a very independent person so if I want Chipotle, or ice cream, or something...I just go by myself 🤷‍♀️ I used to go to a restaurant between work and my grad school classes and would grade papers all alone at my table. Idk. I got tired of not doing things I wanted to do because I was alone so I just did them by myself.

😭 that's a very sweet lyric! I know exactly what you mean! (It reminds me most of Dolcezza). It's very hard to take a compliment in general hahaha I see that's a Miss Hayley Williams song, I will have to give it a closer listen 💕

TBH I didn't want to describe a dinner date scene 😂 so I thought it would be kinda cute this way I wanted them to actually be more intimate but it will have to wait for the next part No promises yet but I will probs be missing a few updates for sure. The check-ins that I usually post on Thursday are def out the window rn. But honestly the next part of Ding might not be posted till Thursday instead.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND THE UNDERTONES THING EITHER. My sister explained it to me and I just repeat it every now and again. I'll take being Belle. She likes to read, is very sweet, and I would so push Gaston into the mud given half the chance 🤣🤣

The rest of my week went pretty well actually. I'm feeling a bit burnt out but it is what it is. This week will be a long one but I should get a two-week stretch without a lot going on.

I hope you feel better and get lots of rest this weekend!

xoxo

[kanmom51]

I’m a baby army, just some months into the fandom so far. I got introduced to their music through a co-worker, she was constantly playing their music at work and I got curios. when she was introducing each member everything was ok, but then it came this part of “there are some famous ships in the fandom too” ( I was familiar with the concept of shipping and I asked if it was a thing in army) the answer was that “it’s cannon in the fandom and everyone knows that V and Jungkook are together, there is so much prove about it but we protect them ” “yoonmin it’s canon too but we don’t know much about them” and to be honest I just thought to myself oh well, ok, because of course I was not familiar with anything at the time. I have to admit she never said anything negative about any of the guys while introducing them to me, but as I started watching original content like BTS run, Bon voyage, The Soop, Jikook caught my eye and I started to search more about them and I was like wait a minute. weren’t these two lovebirds supposed to be the cannon of another pair each? 🤔 ones I asked about it the answer was simple and plain “Yeah those 2 spend a lot of time together, Jimin is kinda of an attention sicker, if you look close Jungkook it’s so done with him 99% of the time” and I was shocked, didn’t we saw the same content or what? My point in here it’s that she wasn’t the only one, ones I got introduced to other army I could see a lot of them claiming Jimin being an attention sicker and even a seductor by nature that only those it for fun and manipulation to the younger member (don’t know if these people realize jk it’s 24, he might be the maknae but he’s not 11 and forcing him… that man has too much muscle and brains for me to believe it’s Jimin’s victim) Do you think that’s the reason a lot of “army” allow jikook to get so much hate? Regardless of their bias or if they are “Ot7” Has Army as a fandom normalized calling Jimin basically a man wh0r€ but with kinder and disguised words? I think it would be easier to admit that some are jealous he has a grate a$$, talent, money and apparently the most wanted boy in the music industry as a bf. Anyway I’m so happy I found your blog, it has become my safe place when it comes to jikook 💜

Hello hello anon.

Welcome to the fandom and to my blog. 💜

I am so glad to hear that you had the foresight to go and watch the original content and the intelligence, including emotional intelligence to see just how special JM and JK are to each other.

"I think it would be easier to admit that some are jealous he has a grate a$$, talent, money and apparently the most wanted boy in the music industry as a bf."

Yes, I do believe that part of it is the green eyed monster. But I think it's kind of a mixture of that with so much homophobia too. It's so much easier to call JM a whore, a seductor, someone that is throwing himself, forcing himself on JK, than resigning themselves to the idea that JK is queer and madly in love with this other gorgeous human being.

And funny how these people call themselves true fans all while being super ignorant about who these two young men are as human beings.

On the one hand JK is this helpless child in their eyes, being forced by Hybe and JM into whatever they think they are doing. But on the other hand they see, well want to see, JK as a confident sexy "international playboy", a womanizer, or 'fuckboy' as one of my anons called him (which kind of also contradicts him being forced into something with JM).

Painting JM as this seductive flirt, and JK as this helpless being. The muscle pig that JM goes all wobbly giddy shy around, yes he's being forced into this.

They ignore their personalities. They ignore what they both say. They ignore what they both do.

Did JM force JK to suck on his ear in front of thousands of fans, or to tattoo his name on his hand, or to say "love you" to him during the LV concert? Did JM force JK to carry him out of the stadium? Heck no, to all of the above.

They have been denying this relationship for years now, thing is it's getting harder and harder for them as time goes by, and the louder and louder these boys get.

[imagines-ahs]

Ok so.... I just re-read the entire fic. And OMG, i fell in love again, and this time I fell harder. It's just perfect.

Having said that I do have some questions that I would like to makes you don't have to answer then all and pls don't feel pressured.

So there was a hint that Billie was harassed at some point, so... Are they gonna talk about that?? I'm really so invested in what you have to say about that.

The backstory you gave to venable is that she's an orphan, are we gonna get to know more about that, did she change homes or was she realized in an orphanage?? Also how was her disability treated and are you gonna maybe like go over how did she ended up being a bitch (like u know ahs Miss Venable bitch)

Who is Olivia, like you mentioned her, but did Mina discovered her sexuality thanks to her, or her only support???

And lastly who is Lisa?? And why do I kinda hate her now??

The company is Billie Dean Howard Co which very nice tbh, but like what do they do??? I mean, i get the show, but is there like smthng else? I love btw how you make it so real, like the building, and the jobs and the dress Carmen said for the sponsor, it's all like in real life.

What's the deal with Carmen??? Honestly...

Also, what's the role of Emma in the company?? She gives me some vibe of finance, but I'm not sure.

Thanks again for this amazing story. You are so so so blessed. And I'm enjoying this story so much. I've had so many theories of what's gonna happen but you amaze me each time.

Can't wait to see how this develops.

Love you.

Oh my 💜 thank you so much, I can’t believing you’re reading it all again!!! That means a lot!! And I LOVE answering your questions, it’s a pleasure! So let’s go:

1- Very smart of you to get that hint AND remember it. Yes, they will talk about it in the future. It plays an important part in the story!

2- Her story will be getting more and more puzzled together as the chapters go by. She has had a complex life and I promise everything will be answered soon.

3- I believe in chapter 10 (if I remember correctly) there’s an inner monologue of Wilhemina about Olivia. She was her best friend up until she died when they were 11. They shared a bedroom in the orphanage ever since they were brought there.

4- Lisa is also someone very important to the story. The answer of who she is and what she means will be coming soon! She’s someone from Venable’s past.

5- Thank you so much!! The company is basically everything Billie Dean. It takes care of her career as a whole, works in publicity, shows, donations… basically everything she’s involved.

6- Hahaha Carmen is one of the usual producers. She’s just a bitch.

7- Emma also works in HR. She’s part of the HR team, which is all under Venable’s charge.

[lukealvezhimboextraordinaire]

I don’t like the drama either and I didn’t have a negative reaction to Edwina when I watched the season because I’m an older sister and her behavior is very reminiscent of my younger sister as a teen. As you age you mature so an age gap of a few years creates a huge discrepancy in maturity between a teen and someone in their twenties which to me meant Edwina’s tantrum was forgivable. I didn’t think of her as Kate’s peer but still a child. She showcased real immaturity in ep6-7 and parts of it made me laugh because I thought it was intentionally written to show her as behaving like a child, and also because, I’ve forgiven worse. However, the willful attempts to vilify Kate by Edwina fans is too much and has made it hard for me to be chill about Edwina’s treatment of Kate. It’s one thing if we can all see the girl is lashing out and hurting people because she’s in pain, it’s a whole other thing to say Kate deserved any of that and that’s basically where they’ve gone. Long way of saying I agree with you and I appreciate you sharing your thoughts. 💜

I'm an only child but I'm surrounded by older sisters and I do know you are all saints that forgive way too much. And tbh everything you said makes a lot of sense and me myself had a similar reaction with other characters so I totally get you. As I said, I don't think Edwina is a bad person, she is a young and selfish girl who has been taught the world revolves around her and suddenly finds in a rather shocking way that it's not the case.

I have discussed it with some friends and I actually felt for her in the Pall Mall scene to the point I couldn't quite completely enjoy because her being so blatantly out of place made me a bit uncomfortable. But she was aware she was out of place and the next scene she brushes it off and goes on thinking it was great?? The writing here makes no sense to me.

This is one of the reasons I can't understand how anyone tries to use Edwina to vilify Kate when she convinced herself over and over again that things were fine when they clearly were not. Even the way all the Bridgertons clicked with Kate while merely being polite with Edwina was ignored by her to the point it was painful. She really was blind, to answer her own question.

I guess with all this rant what I'm trying to say is that I understand Edwina has a right to react (she wouldn't be human if she did not) but by no means that justifies hating Kate. Because Edwina made mistakes too.

[jasmariswonderland]

“I told you before, I’m not a princess!”

 Character Playlist  |  Father-Daughter Playlist  |  Ship Playlist  |  Kalai’s Main Tag  |  Alixka’s Main Tag  | Ship Tag |  Her Aesthetic | Inspiration | Kalai In my Twst-verse

Kalai is my primary KH OC. She is  young noblewoman and keyblade wielder originally from Radiant Garden. Her Nobody  Alixka was member No. 0 in the original Organization XIII and was also a reserve member of the Thirteen Seekers of Darkness. The illegitimate daughter of Dilan and a woman from a noble family, she is sent to live with Ansem the Wise in his castle with his apprentices soon after turning 11. This is where her story begins.

~~~

💜Basic Information💜

Full Name ~ Kalai Lindworm (nee Rowan)

DOB ~ February 5th

Homeworld ~ Radiant Garden

Other Residences ~ The World that Never Was, The Land of Departure

Organization Title ~ Maiden of Tempests

Family ~ Dilan (Father), Ilise (Mother, deceased), Anila (Grandmother), Ansem the Wise (Great Uncle), Iris (Sister), Adelen (Sister) Tarian (Grandfather, deceased), Adura and Haneul (Great grandparents, deceased), Athena (Niece), Cyrus (Nephew), Zephyr (Son), Taima (Daughter), Mateo (Adopted Son), Liliane(Adopted Daughter)

Friends ~ Kairi, Ienzo, Aqua, Namine, Moana

Lovers ~ Lauriam and Elrena

Enemies ~ Xemnas, Luxu, Young Xehanort, Kali

Voice Claim (EN) ~ Brina Palencia

Voice Claim (JP) ~ Nana Mizuki

~~~

💜Name💜

The name Kalai comes from the Hawaiian name “Kala” which means princess or lady. It can also refer to the Pua Kala, a white flower that grows in the volcanic areas on the Hawaiian islands. Kala are also similar in appearance to the flower of her creator's namesake. 

The other part of her name, “ai” comes from the Japanese word for love. 

Outside the Kingdom Hearts universe, her name translates roughly to mean “lady of love” but within her story, Kalai is named after a small white flower that grows in many worlds and thrives even in the harshest climates. Within the culture of Radiant Garden in which she was raised, they represent strength and nobility. Her name means “noble strength”.

~~~

💜Personality💜

Kalai’s personality goes through many changes throughout her journey. As a child, she is timid with occasional outbursts of anger and a fear of rejection. The result of an abusive upbringing in the home of her stepfather. As she ages, she begins to exhibit a more outgoing personality. In many ways, she is like her father, determined, temperamental, passionate if not occasionally stubborn, but noble above everything else. 

Alixka on the other hand is coquettish and headstrong with many of Kalai’s less likable traits accelerated. She hates being seen as weak and only shows vulnerability to those she’s closest to. From the beginning, she questions whether Nobodies are capable of feeling and doesn’t pretend not to have emotions like many others in the Organization.  

Post Organization, Kalai is a perfect mix of being ladylike and fearless. A fighting spirit with a deep sense of purpose, she wants only to be happy and protect those she loves. 

Her hobbies include adventuring, sparring, reading, and playing the harp. She’s also very skilled with needle and thread and another thing she enjoys doing is making dolls in the likeness of her friends. She hates snakes, being belittled, being called “Princess”, and she’s not a big fan of spicy food. For a long time, she held a somewhat irrational fear of Dreameaters, but it’s something she eventually overcomes. To the point that she becomes the owner of a bunny spirit that she calls Mimi.

~~~

💜Physical Appearance💜

With her long dark hair and amethyst eyes, Kalai strongly resembles her father though naturally, her features are softer. Her hair is typically worn loose down her back or with a half-crown braid resting against the rest of her hair. 

She stands at about 5ft 7in with a strong but slender build. The fact that she wears mostly purple is a reference to her noble background and the fact that purple is the color most associated with The Whirlwind Lancer.

Kalai’s story begins when she is 11 years old, and she is currently 25. 

~~~

💜Background💜

Kalai’s parents met when Dilan was still a trainee with the Royal Guard, and Ilise was staying in her uncle’s castle to finish her education, her family already planning her marriage to a provincial governor. Despite this, Ilise fell in love with the guardsman, and over time, he returned that love. 

They had plans to elope, but soon after discovering she was pregnant, her family removed her from the castle and quickly married her off. Her new husband reluctantly agreed to claim Ilise’s newborn child as his own on the condition that Ilise never see Dilan again, threatening to have him arrested for good measure. 

Even if Ilise was willing to lie about Kalai’s paternity, the truth couldn’t be more obvious regarding her appearance, something her husband severely admonishes her for. The first eleven years of Kalai’s life are spent in the cold grandeur of her stepfather’s household along with four younger step-siblings; Lucio, Lucia, Iris, and Adelen. 

Pre BBS

Despite his promise to pass her off as his own, from the start, Ilise’s husband was extremely resentful of Kalai’s presence in his house, doubly so because she strongly resembles his romantic rival in looks and temperament. A living reminder of all he is not in his wife's eyes. It’s a resentment he passed to his own children and he actively encouraged them to mistreat Kalai. There was little Ilise could do to stop this. 

Around the age of 8, Kalai begins to exhibit traces of an inherited affinity with the wind, further fueling her stepfather’s hatred of her and making the next few years of her life even more difficult to the point that she instinctively forces her affinity into a subconscious state. She would continue to show no sign of magical ability until more than a decade later when she becomes a Nobody. School was no easier for her as she was a frequent target of bullying from her siblings and their friends. Her temper often got her in trouble as well. 

Things come to a head soon after her 11th birthday when her stepfather decides he no longer wants her under his roof. She is sent away in what she thinks is a punishment at first but turns out to be a blessing in disguise as her new guardians treat her with far more kindness than she had previously ever known. In Ansem the Wise, she finds a loving caretaker and in Ienzo she finds a true friend. Kalai also meets Kairi and becomes her friend and meets her true father though she is not yet aware of this.

BBS and Post-BBS

After a happy year of living in the castle, Unversed attack Radiant Garden. During the crisis, Kalai and Ienzo escape the castle and are both accosted by the monsters. Kalai encounters Terra, who helps her when she is attacked, and later she is cornered by Vanitas who would have killed her if Dilan had not come to her rescue. 

This harrowing experience prompts her desire to be stronger and never again be defenseless. She begins spending more of her free time with the guards and expresses an interest in joining their ranks. Dilan teaches her to use a lance and it’s decided that she will join the Royal Guard after her seventeenth birthday. 

Around the same time, Ansem the Wise takes in Xehanort and he begins his experiments on the heart. The other apprentices join him and start making Emblem Heartless. When the danger becomes clear and Xehanort begins to tempt Kalai to join in on the experiments, Dilan realizes that she is no longer safe in the castle and arranges for her to live with Kairi and her grandmother. 

When Radiant Garden falls to darkness, Kalai is separated from them and ends up in Traverse Town where she befriends other refugees from her fallen homeworld. She is taken in by an elderly couple that own a flower shop and for the next few years, her life is reasonably peaceful. Unfortunately, things take a turn for the worse when she is ambushed by heartless and loses her heart. 

Organization XIII, Pre-CoM

Sometime later, Xaldin finds her unconscious in The World That Never Was. Upon recognizing her, he brings her to The Castle That Never Was and Xemnas gives her a new name: Alixka. 

As a member of Organization XIII, Alixka holds the rank of 0 due to her connection with the founding members. It is strongly implied that had Dilan not sent her away, Xehanort had designs to make her a founding member as well. When she reawakens as a Nobody, her memories of her life as Kalai are gone but slowly return over time. The senior members are all extremely protective of her, especially Xaldin. 

Nearly the moment she is introduced into their ranks, Alixka attracts the attention of two members in particular. Marluxia and Larxene both find her fascinating but while the latter pretends not to like her at first, the former goes out of his way to seduce her. Though she is wary of him at first, Alixka realizes she is also attracted to Marluxia after six months in the Organization. They begin a relationship that becomes deeper over time. 

Unfortunately, her new relationship puts her at odds with the senior members, who hold contempt for the more junior members. As time progresses, Alixka also begins to question if Nobodies truly are not capable of feeling emotion and for that reason, joins Marluxia’s plot to overthrow the Organization with Larxene joining the coup (and relationship) soon after.

CoM and Post-CoM

Alixka becomes Lady of Castle Oblivion and follows Marluxia's plans in all ways but one, she constantly feels conflicted in how he is using Namine and goes out of her way to show kindness to the fragile girl. Marluxia see’s Alixka’s kindness and uses it as an incentive to keep Namine under his control. He’s also the only Organization member (besides Lexaeus) who knows the truth about who’s Alixka’s father. Despite his genuine affection for her, he is not above holding this information over her when she becomes upset about his treatment of Namine.

Unfortunately, their plans fail thanks to Axel and when Alixka goes to Zexion to plead for help, he tries to kill her and is saved at the last moment by an intruding Xaldin. He brings her to Twilight Town and when Axel tracks her down, Alixka blackmails him by threatening to expose his own traitorous actions in Castle Oblivion. 

Once she returns to The Castle that Never Was, she becomes determined to bring Xemnas down and exact revenge for her lovers’ deaths. To keep herself alive, she decides to seduce the Superior, hoping to get closer to him and expose his sinister designs for the rest of the Organization whom he is deceiving. 

But behind the scenes, Saix is plotting his own rise to power with Axel, and now with Alixka standing in the way, they conspire to get rid of her. Axel gets his hands on some of Vexen’s old research about Xion and Saix uses them to temporarily reprogram her to assassinate Alixka. Her demise as a Nobody is what eventually drags Xaldin into a furious downward spiral.

The Final World and Pre-KH3

Between re-completion, Kalai finds herself in The Final World. There, she briefly reunites with her mother’s spirit, apologizing to her daughter for all the neglect and abuse she suffered at her husband’s hands and her own indifference to her in life. Before Kalai returns to humanity, she tells her mother that she forgives her and loves her and will always keep her memory in her heart. 

The re-completed Kalai returns to Traverse Town, where she is nursed back to health by her friends Aerith, Yuffie and Leon. They explain to her what had been happening, about the heartless and about Sora. They also tell her their plans to return to their old world to help restore it to its former glory. 

KH3 

On the night before their departure, Kalai is approached by two men in black coats. They turn out to be Saix and a time-traveling Young Xehanort with the offer to become one of the Thirteen Seekers of Darkness. At this point, she understands the true purpose of Organization XIII and refuses. But as she tries to flee she is taken hostage and norted solely because Xemnas wanted her back under his control, having become obsessed with her. 

Her time under Master Xehanort is brief but tumultuous, though made a little easier by some old companions also under him. 

When Vexen approaches her with a proposition to betray the seekers and return home, she finds herself conflicted. True, she could be reunited with her Radiant Garden family and as a reserve member she could probably escape, but in doing that she would also be abandoning Marluxia and Larxene and she is determined that they should never be separated again.

Kali

One effect of Master Xehanort’s influence on her heart is the emergence of a nightmarish demon known as Kali (“the shadow” or “Anti-Kalai” within universe). Kali is the shadowy remnant of  Kalai’s heartless and all of her sorrow, rage, and fears, taken human form. She thrives on Kalai’s darkness and continues to survive even after her second-recompletion, longing for her to finally accept her darkness to take vengeance on the world and those who have wronged Kalai in the past. 

Post-KH3, Return to Radiant Garden

By the time Kalai escapes the Organization, she understands at last who her true father is and their reunion is a very heartfelt one. The first months after the Keyblade War, however, are not easy ones for her. She profoundly regrets leaving Marluxia and Larxene behind to their grim fates and soon begins to experience terrible nightmares about her past with the Organization. And Kali continues to torment her. 

Eventually, Iris and Adelen return to Kalai’s life after their father has died and they have a falling out with their other siblings. They wish to be better people and reconcile with their outcast older sister. Naturally, Kalai is extremely wary of them and Kali later reveals in a nightmare that she was the one who killed Iris and Adelen’s father. 

This revelation shocks Kalai into determination to banish the darkness in her heart once and for all, refusing to let her past dictate her future. In this spirit, she begins to accept her sisters’ presence in the castle and by the end of the year, they are as close as any sisters can hope to be.

Graceful Destiny

On the final night of the year, Kalai is formally welcomed into the Royal Guard. Even with the heartless return to her world in the coming months, she lives peacefully (and more importantly, happily) with her castle family. In time she realizes many of the citizens still don’t trust Ansem The Wise due to his hand in initially bringing the heartless to their world. His remorse on the matter is genuine and Kalai goes out of her way to help repair the broken bond between the Sage King and his subjects. 

Eventually, her efforts are rewarded when she is finally reunited with Laruiam and Elrena who have sought her out to assist them in searching for the other Dandelions and Strelitzia. 

Reluctantly, her castle family part with her but while preparing to leave, there is a vicious Heartless attack. During this raid, Kalai’s weapon shatters but transforms into a Keyblade, the ability to use it being unknowingly bequeathed to her when she touches and holds Lauriam’s. 

After tracking down Ventus to the Land of Departure, it’s decided that Kalai must learn how to properly use her fantastic new weapon before they can set out on their quest. They live there while she trains under Master Aqua, along with her old friend Kairi. 

Present and Beyond 

Kalai and her friends spend the next year visiting different worlds to either take down Heartless and searching for the New Seven Hearts. While this is seemingly no different from her days in the Organization, she now fights on the side of light. However, neither she nor her companions suspect that the final Princess of Heart is Adelen, her youngest sister.

This revelation marks a shift in both Kalai’s relationship with Adelen and her relationship with Aqua. Because of Kalai’s past as a vessel of Xehanort, Yen Sid feared she’d be a corrupting influence and pressured Aqua into deliberately keeping the info from both Kalai and Adelen. They only realize the truth when Adelen is unintentionally put in danger. At the cost of temporarily severing the trust between Master and student. 

Fearing that she will never be free of her past and with Kali tormenting her again, Kalai goes into self-imposed exile for several months before Kairi and Adelen can convince her of her true goodness. She vows to always protect her sister from the dark forces, shattering all animosity between them once and for all.

Finally, when Kairi and Riku are given a lead to Sora’s whereabouts, they depart the Realm of Light to a world called Quadratum. With Kairi gone, Aqua requests that Kalai return to the Land of Departure with Lauriam and Elrena to continue training, realizing how wrong she was to keep the truth about Adelen from her. She agrees while she is still sometimes haunted by shadows of her past, Kalai will continue to strive to create a brighter future for herself and those she loves, becoming a paragon of her namesake. 

~~~

💜Relationships💜

Dilan/Xaldin ~ Her beloved father and probably the most important person in her life. Their relationship begins rather complexly. While he never held any resentment towards Kalai, his heartbreak where her mother was concerned is why he had such a cynical outlook on the concept of love and his cold and distant manner towards her in her youth. But as she ages, father and daughter become closer and he is thrilled when she begins to show interest in the lance. Dilan teaches her how to fight, defend herself, and emphasizes the importance of intelligence and personal nobility, refusing to praise anything but her intellect, kindness, or skills. His overprotective nature prompts him to send Kalai away when Xehanort’s experiments get out of hand. His love continues even after they become Nobodies and only after her demise does he begin to exhibit the sadistic coldness that he shows towards Beast and Belle. With her return, Dilan feels that his heart is truly re-complete and thawed and while she has grown into a formidable warrior, he still feels extremely protective of her. He will not hesitate to chase down anyone who dares to harm his sweet girl, so Heaven help you if you even look at her in a way he doesn’t like.

Lauriam/Marluxia and Elrena/Larxene ~ Kalai’s two lovers. They met while still in the Organization and while their relationships don’t get off on the very best start, in time they come to really care for each other. Larxene already loved Marluxia for a very long time and was in a casual relationship before Alixka’s arrival. Initially, they only want her as a plaything, and Marluxia in particular sees her as a means of gaining the upper hand over the senior members when he realizes that she is Xaldin’s child and that it’s supposed to be a secret. But he changes tune when he realizes that Alixka herself is unaware that Xaldin is her father. Marluxia comes to admire her kindness and in a twisted way, envies her closeness to the senior members because, as he puts it to Larxene, “she has something to hold onto, we are not so fortunate.” As time passes, their dissatisfaction with the Organization brings the three closer. By the time they are under Master Xehanort, the uncertainty of their situation brings them together in the fullest sense of the word. With recompetion, they finally have the chance to be happy without the looming threat of outside forces driving them apart. Lauriam is the softer, more reserved lover whom Kalai can go to for romantic tenderness. He likes to call her Rosebud, a nickname she didn’t always like but grew to find endearing. Elrena on the other hand is more snarky, with blunt honesty that can sometimes seem cold but is always well-intentioned. She also has a love of teasing Kalai that recompletion has only slightly dulled. But when push comes to shove, Elrena is fiercely devoted to her and often says “No one is allowed to fuck with Kalai except me!”

Iris and Adelen ~ The kinder of Kalai’s four younger siblings. 

Anila ~ Kalai’s paternal grandmother and a former Keyblade Master, originally from Scala ad Caelum. 

Ienzo/Zexion ~ Kalai’s childhood friend when she first arrived in the Capital as a young girl. Because Ienzo lost his parents so young and was raised by Ansem and his apprentices, he never had the chance to interact with other children. So he takes an immediate liking to Kalai; at first, he loves her as an older sister but later as a woman. This love goes unnoticed and is discouraged as Xehanort gains more influence, with him deliberately acting to keep them apart to tempt Kalai to join in on his experiments. Naturally, Zexion is extremely jealous and hurt when Alixka was getting closer to Marluxia and Larxene. Doubly so because his superior has always drilled into him the idea that feelings were an illusion for his kind. In his anger and confusion, he inflicts terrible pain onto her, ultimately forfeiting his chance to have a place in her heart. Now recompleted, Ienzo holds a tremendous amount of guilt where Kalai is concerned and hopes that they can rekindle their friendship, one day at a time. 

Kairi ~ Kalai’s best friend. When Kairi was growing up, she was one of the youngest children living in the Capital of Light and consequently did not have many friends. While playing in the gardens by the castle gates, she catches sight of an older girl reading within the castle walls. That girl was Kalai. Because she lived in the castle and was always followed by the guards, little Kairi quickly got the fancy that Kalai was a princess and went out of her way to become her friend. She gets her chance when she sees her at the fountain court one spring day and from then on they become fast friends. Whenever Kalai was allowed out of the castle, she would always find time to visit Kairi and her grandmother and Kairi was sometimes brought to the castle to play with Kalai and sometimes Ienzo, though these visits put her in unintentional danger when Xehanort takes notice of her.

Aqua ~ The Master and keeper of the Land of Departure and Kalai and Kairi’s teacher/mentor. As a Keyblade Master, her power is on an entirely different level, and her omnipotence is something Kalai finds very admirable. Though she can seem intimidating, Aqua has an undisputed kindness in her heart and she and Kalai truthfully have much more in common than one would guess. They both struggle with their past mistakes and both hold shame for once falling into darkness and fear falling again. Aqua is the only person who knows about Kali/Anti-Kalai and Kalai is the only one who knows about Anti-Aqua, secrets that connect them in a sadly unique way. 

Young Xehanort ~ Her greatest personal enemy besides Xemnas, Xigbar, and Kali. Young Xehanort is the one who ultimately brings her back into the Organization and goes out of his way to antagonize her nearly the second she reawakens as a Nobody. Outwardly, he finds her insolent and bratty and longs to break her spirit with darkness. But secretly, he finds her enchanting. Alixka hates him more than all the other Seekers combined and their rivalry is extremely fierce with them frequently scoring points with each other. There is admittedly a certain level of sexual tension within their clashes and quips that make for some rather awkward (and often hilarious) scenes between them though they never forget that they hate each other. While Alixka wants only to put him in his place, it is implied that Young Xehanort’s attraction to her is based on something relating to his past. 

Kali ~ Kali is a special Nightmare spirit bonded to Kalai’s heart. Originally a remnant of her Heartless, Kali was born from the intense dark emotions Kalai harbored in her youth and while in the Organization. Through Master Xehanort’s influence, Kali becomes stronger with the ability to dive into Kalai’s nightmares and subtly influence her when she is feeling depressed or angry. She also has the ability to shapeshift and will often change into forms that cause Kalai distress. Despite their chaotic, abusive relationship, Kali truly cares for Kalai but longs for her to embrace her darkness. Her rage has already claimed the life of her abusive stepfather and she wishes for Kalai to exact further vengeance on those who have wronged her in the past.

~~~

💜Skills and Abilities💜

Throughout her journey, Kalai uses an array of weapons with a strong preference for polled weapons like those wielded by her father. Even after being bequeathed a keyblade, she continues to rely heavily on lances and spears through form changes. For a more in-depth look at Kalai’s weapons and skills, visit this link here.