#my paycheck is suffering
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Dear salmon run players-
PUT THE EGGS IN THE MF BASKET- istg i've lost so many rounds because people just leave the eggs sitting around and I swear I'm the only 1 trying to meet the quota-
#semi rant#shut up star#late night post#nintendo#splat3#splatoon 3#splat2n#please#my paycheck is suffering#salmon run#salmonid#mr grizz
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been having a serious physical health problem for many years that is recently very quickly getting worse and as I undergo more tests and procedures while the problem actively gets worse, I got stuck having a serious talk about "purchasing at home accommodations" while they figure out whats wrong with my stomach and work out a treatment plan, because the costs of hospitalizing me for further testing/treatment instead for the unforeseeable futurewould ruin me, so I'm looking up some of the things she suggested, pricing shit out, and god half of this stuff was already out of the question because I am still displaced and man, and this is still technically cheaper than hospital bills, but I simply cannot save up/raise the money to get any of this in a timely manner
#girl help my options are rack up thousands of dollars of hospital bills#somehow find a few hundred to drop on recovery items when my paycheck does not last the month#WHILE im job hunting and saving up anything i can for when apartments become adfordable#or just suffer#:)#i hate it here
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i dont need therapy or medication i need it to be 2007. i need it to be my full time job to learn and explore and be curious about the world around me again
#crayon on envelope#i cant do any of that shit when i gotta have a job#i really miss when all i had to do was go to school#like i didnt realize how good i had it at the time#go in for like six hours and still have time and sunlight to do what i wanted when i got home#weekends off where all your friends Also have it off so you can organize hanging out#the whole summer to yourself#honestly i feel like id be doing so much better psychologically if i could have summer vacation again lol#bc at least then i was working towards something#just gotta get through the year so i can enjoy my summer#now its like. why am i even doing all of this#why is my only goal to suffer till i get a paycheck#and i dont even get to keep most of it#pointless luv litchrally pointless
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i feel like commentary youtube has a subsect of videos that come down to 'this could have been a tumblr vent post'
#i have thoughts on commentarytube in general. it's my guilty pleasure but also i take it with SUCH a grain of salt#so i'm going to make a tumblr vent post about it instead of a commentary video about commentarytube skdjskjdsk#i feel like it's a place for opinionated people to act like their opinions are fact a lot of the time#bc like. if they have a platform then SURELY they know what they're talking about. right? /sarcastic#i feel like the best ones are the ones with a niche they really care about#and not just 'let me spectate whatever gets me clicks this week'#like. i enjoy isabella lanter's commentary. she talks about scams and mlms and you can tell she cares about the topic#and is well-versed in it#and she stays in her niche and stays in what she knows well. and i think her videos really benefit from her obvious love of the topic#or treacle tatts. she is obviously very well-versed in her niche!!!!#not to say people can't branch out but i think when you branch out for the algorithm's sake your vid quality suffers from it#but i'm not a youtuber and they need a paycheck too and the algorithm is god on yt. so. shrug.#mildly salty opinion hour over. using my one discourse take of the month early here. see yall in june lmao
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apartments being like "you have to make 3x this rent a month for us to let you rent here" are so stupid. you think i'm spending $4000 on bills food and incidentals? the most i've ever spent on a car repair was $2k. give me your stupid apartment asshole
#apartment hunt is on#applying to grad school in cities is suffering#i KNOW “35 thousand dollars a year in income” is concerning. but i don't have car payments and i spend max $75 a week on groceries#and i'm young enough to still be on my parents' insurance#what do you think i'm spending the rest of my paycheck on? alcohol?#(note: i'm too poor to have student loans)
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Two apartments ago I had sliding mirror doors on my closet and every time I’m worldbuilding and timeline planning a major project I miss those doors so much 😭😭😭
#two big mirrors and chalk markers#no better way#rain rambles#I’m suffering#and trying to figure out how much of my paycheck I can justify splurging to resolve this issue#I am looking at whiteboards and cork boards and mirrors#marriage of state au
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#tw sui ideation#the longer that im alive the more i feel like i shouldn’t be#i can never catch a fucking break#within three months i my mom dies#then i get dumped by the love of my life on my first mother’s day after her passing#and then i get diagnosed with type 1 diabetes#facsism is on the rise#our country is being run by a genocidal dementiated zionist#our choice for the next presidency is that genocidal war criminal or a somehow worse genocidal war criminal#all of our rights are being stripped away#we’re in a cost of living crisis#im not even living paycheck to paycheck#i regularly have to borrow money from my friends to survive till next payday#and that’s with all the government assistance im on#so i’m really struggling to understand why i should bother staying to find out what happens#i know my friends love me#i know people care about me#that does nothing to relieve the suffering i live through everyday#my friends loving me does not take away the fact that i’m disabled and transgender in this hellscape#and actively working a full time job#with no fucking help#do i have a little financial assistance? sure. but not nearly enough to survive#75% of my needs are not being met most of the time because i can’t fucking do it#and no one believes i’m disabled enough to need help#or they don’t care enough to help#bc all day everyday i hear how strong i am and how none of my friends could ever go through what i do#and yet whenever i ask for help i often get met with irritation or annoyance#im just so fucking tired#i can’t keep doing this#i can’t live like this forever
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Magenta 🤬
#my state is complaining about not having enough customers for psilocybin treatments#well as someone that heavily advocated for it to be legalized because of research and science lemme tell you why:#you gatekept your whole client base via outpricing them because you don't want to serve people with medium to low incomes#you only want rich people as your clients when the majority of people who could legitimately benefit from this treatment#are one paycheck away from homelessness or have to choose between an 800-1200 dose or buying groceries for the next month for their families#now look I get it you gotta get your cake and eat it too#but that's no excuse for isolating a large client base just because you're offended that poor people with mental health issues exist#if you want to keep this shit rolling and not have the state overturn anything#make it more accessible to people that truly need it and I'm telling you word of mouth travels fast#you'll get more clients more advocacy and more investment into research#by giving people an opportunity#and making them feel included in the process#thats what yall did when you started the petitions to get lawmakers to take the benefits seriously#so what changed?#what turned you into greedy cunts?#oh yeah money and again you're offended poor people exist#y'all know too folks will just go to a dealer they know and get it for cheaper right?#i mean whats the point in paying 3 to 5k for a special “retreat” where you pay an additional 1k to 2k for 3 doses#when johnny boy down the street can hook you up with 10 doses for 100 bucks and a bag of chips?#and btw guys wtf happened to all that money that was supposed to go to creating state of the art mental health clinics and facilities#when measure 110 got passed that decriminalized drugs?#no one has an answer???#hmmm#it's no wonder we are near dead last in mental health in this country#its like i said in the meeting: you guys love to profit off the suffering of others#magenta#magenta is my vent word
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"Cell phone wide, baby. I'm cell phone wide."
Kenny Omega, BTE ep 235
#Kenny#If I wasn't laughing before I sure fucking cracked at that one line#Kenny they are already suffering don't make it worse#Kenny omega#BTE#This episode was ridiculous#Love it#Now back to work cause I'm late on my tasks and I need that paycheck
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Okay so i still don't know what is behind all the removal from streaming platforms, like if Ray is cooking something (🤞) or if it's bc of the latest disgraceful stunt pulled by spotify (grrr) BUT
BUT!!!!
IT'S STILL THIS VERY SPECIAL GIRL'S SEVENTH BIRTHDAY TODAY SO I DON'T CARE IMMA CELEBRATE IT ANYWAY🥹🥺🥹🥺
She helped me through SO.much.shit. through the years and it's made by the most talented musician and most beautiful person I've ever known in the music industry and sung in the most angelic of human voices in the history of humans singing their feelings out loud so.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY REMEMBER THE LAUGHTER, my sweet girl and friend in need. I love you. Forever. 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
#ray toro#remember the laughter#also my cd is practically broken from use but as soon as i've heard the news i've grabbed the album and for the lost and brave in mp3#so like if anyone is in great need of the songs my inbox is open#THIS IS NOT SNEAKING BEHIND FRO'S BACK#I'm just trying to help anyone fight the mammoth#Ray i love and respect you beyond imagining and as soon as you make anything available for purchase digitally my entire paycheck's yours#but most of the ppl i've seen loving rtl on here use spotify to listen and i hate seeing them suffer#i don't really so i'm not that affected by this but also not blind ppl miss this girl dearly#happy birthday remember the laughter#his website is also expired so maybe something really is going on like a remastering or re-release or sg???#hope dies last#we hope 🙏#happy birthday
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I have two hours left at work, and I don't want to write blogs for clients! I want to write Ikkaku-related things! Kisses! Starters! I want to plot with people! Whhhyyyy must I be a responsible adult and write about boring stuff?!
#Time for Maintenance (OOC)#(silly little vent will probably be deleted later)#(but seriously I have been writing about mattresses and proofreading blogs about paint all day)#(my brain desires the fun kind of writing. but fun doesn't provide the paycheck sadly)#(so we suffer)
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i'm actually so stressed about money it's not even a joke like oh my god
#frugal-ness + guilt about food do not mix#i eat a meal and i'm like#'oh so not only was it EXPENSIVE it's also BAD FOR ME IM RUININGMYSELF#etc etc#like i worked less this week and normally that's fine#but my paycheck i just got oh boy.#not NEARLY enough to cover all my stuff#like literally my paycheck only paid for half of my fuckass groceries it's ridiculous#and i meab i havé a (moderate) amount of money saved like i won't actually be unintentionally going hungy just#ugh#it makes me soooo fucking guilty like#i had two portions of dinner tn and my brain was losing its fucking mind how not only should i feel guilty for the amount of food it was but#now the amount of MONEY each serving is probably costing#i'm losing my mind guys#i didn't even buy much unhealthy food i thiught for thé most part i bought cheap vegetables and staples that last a while like eggs and stuf#but ughhhh#UGHHH#WHY ARE WE HERE#JUST TO SUFFER#🥯.txt
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the money i would spend if monster high wasn't overhauled.
#the new dolls are. okay. i guess.#mattel sells reproductions of draculara frankie lagoona and clawdeen but BRO#i would drop all of my paycheck on an og style monster high doll if they werent discontinued and expensive to find secondhand#like PLEASE i just got over my fear of spending money on myself bring them BACK so i can DO THAT#i hear some more reproductions are coming in jan next year but i wish theyd make reproductions of ones other than the main outfits#id kill for a sweet 1600 draculara (even tho ive already got so many...) or some more lagoonas abbeys or ghoulias#i could use some more of the boy dolls tho since i lost mine sob#im glad i have what i have but i wish i could drop 20-30 bucks occasionally on a mh doll that doesnt looks so. strange.#they changed the faces too much for me to like them lol idc abt the molds its the faces that do it for me#also clawds hair he looks like a tiktok eboy i hate it :skull:#if i knew how id make my own molds and prints and make the damn dolls myself#the new art style is also terrible im sorry i hate it so much#call me a capitalist bootlicker for this post all you want i just wish i could go and buy dolls from my childhood to make me happy#without looking into the 50+ range for ONE DOLL#mattel pls u already have the molds#why must you make me suffer like this
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so much on my mind about this shit job, but i just love (sarcastically) that if you're to be exercising, you MUST build up to it, 'less you cause injury. because you can and will if your body isn't ready. if you do 100 pushups first time.... you're a prodigy of exercise and you're probably gonna burn out if you're not suffering alreadt.
yet a desperate fucker who needs a job to survive? nah, 7 hours of exercise each day all week? yep, that's reasonable. totally (further sarcasm)
you never worked out before? too bad, get back to work. make us more money. fill my pockets and fund my sixty mansions. (eat the rich, comrades, they are nothing without our labour)
#vent#personal#i want to unionize my comrade bitches (affectionate)#also my fingers are swollen i should see if i can get my doctor to back up my spitefullness hehe#they fucked up my first paycheck and have made my fellow comrades suffer i am on a warpath i think maybe idk#i just want them to be happy and uninjured one guy is working on a strained foot AND HAS TO STAND ALL DAY#gonna fuck up his injury even worse...#im sticking with this job for now cuz i need it bute rbfhjdsghsnb my comrades must get better conditions#when i was told management was shit i wasn't thinking about the agony lol#my coworkers are great i got a hug yesterday after a sob fest lol#AGAIN CREATIVLY INSPIRED THO#surviving a whole week of physical labor in pain im not used to#and getting to sob it out at the very end of my shift#ughnmmm perfect angst for something idk what#probably a leon thing since current hyperfixation
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how do you find a job that pays enough to keep on living when you have no degrees and cant do math and dont have transportation and have mental health issues and nepotism isnt an option
#i guess my commissions are just gonna be open forever bc otherwise i cant afford Anything#i mean this was kind of my plan to begin with but also. uuuuugggggggghhhhhhhhh#this job i have isnt even that bad the pay is just. not good.#but also im only two paychecks deep and i have so much fucking debt to pay off no wonder im still suffering. its not an overnight fix#i'll pay off all my stuff eventually its just. really fucking hard rn lol lol lol#my stove shorted out this morning so now i have to go grocery shopping AGAIN to get stuff i can make in the microwave.#and rent is due in a week! im having my joker moment rn
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also lucky for me the cheapest shipping option was also the shipping option that will have the yarn at my house by saturday LOL
#i am almost done with the sleeve on the sweater i have been working on for months ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️#but i forgot my japanese size 4 dpns in cheonan so. i'll have to wrap up this final sleeve on thursday#THEN I WILL WEAVE IN THE ENDS AND STEAM BLOCK IT AND IT WILL BE DONE !!!!!! FINALLY#thats why i let myself order yarn#also after getting frustrated with the yarn for my antiquity blouse and looking at the pattern again i realized im just in for a world of#pain and suffering w that thang#SET IN SLEEVES MY BELOATHED.....so i will need some EASY shit to work on between bouts of frustration w the blouse#it'll be the first time i have ever? had 2 Large projects going at a time#i will also knock out angela's hat i think . i am probably being TOO AMBITIOUS but i'll have 3 weeks off after august 25 and then will have#mornings to myself after starting the new job so#i wont receive a Full paycheck august 10th and november 10th so having all these things i can make that i already bought the yarn for will#be good i think. ride my bike to the park and knit. listen to music at home and knit. even going into work at 1 and waiting until 2#for classes to start and potentially knitting. the director said there's literally nothing to do before classes so we shall#see if she's a Liâr#t
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