#my one and only sister

[opikiquu]

[dingbatsy]

I was today years old when I learned a vixen is a fox, not a deer. But I made this already, so enjoy!!

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[violent-viscera]

these two little girls were never born to be happy together.

[koschei-the-ginger]

[aroaceleovaldez]

HoO really is just Nico having the worst time of his life for like a month straight and that's really funny to me

[inkskinned]

you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.

you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.

he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.

a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.

he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.

you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.

people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.

wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.

also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.

he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."

you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.

"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."

he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.

you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.

is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?

you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.

[constarlations]

Pokémon Timeskip Series: Battle Legend Lyra 🍒🍂

One of the two Johto-Kanto champions, Lyra is best known for her bright and cheery down to earth attitude both on and off the battle field! She likes to travel ALOT you can find her in coffee shops in Kalos or surfing the waves in Alola or just about anywhere with her Fiancé, Silver by her side and never turns down a challenge to a good battle (even if she accidentally sweeps the other person’s team whoops) Her favorite drink is boba tea, her birthday is March 4th, she has a crippling gatcha AND otome addiction, and is 165 cm tall but that’s all for text no one is gonna read aaaaaa-

Drew out my timeskip Lyra due to me wanting to update a few things in regards to her design (can’t believe it’s been almost two years since my timeskip designs HELP) but I hope you enjoy!

Twitter Link

[moodyvoid]

The League of Villains picking a getaway car.

Giran: “I’ve got two options for you. First is a slightly smaller car, not enough seats for all of you, so someone’s going to have to sit on someone’s lap— the engine also stalls sometimes.”

Tomura: “… and the other one?”

Giran: “It’s a nice car. It’s big enough to seat all of you, drives fast, has heated seats— there’s just one thing though…”

Tomura: “What?”

Giran: “The radio is stuck on the country music station.”

Tomura: “…”

The league all sitting in the smaller, shittier car. Twice is sitting on Dabi’s lap.

Dabi: “Why the hell didn’t we take the bigger car?”

Tomura: “I’ve been through a lot of shit in my life. Abuse, neglect, loss, manipulation, pain, trauma, death… but there is no way in hell I will ever subject myself to country music.”

The rest of the league: “Understandable.”

[strawberriederror]

“Cuando tengo que admitir a mis propios errores para aprender y crecer:”

i HATW it, but ig someone’s gotta get me off my high horse once in a while

Odio estar en lo incorrecto pero alguien tiene q ponerme en lo correcto de vez en cuando 🙄 (broma)

[kotdish]

who would gaf about my bully au with scout tf2 ‼️

[demigods-posts]

i was sitting in my room thinking of how convenient it is that the books in the pjo series takes places before or after the school year. then i remembered that ttc happened during winter break. and that percy and annabeth likely returned for their second semester after that quest. what a tragedy.

[bastart13]

This has been tried about a thousand times, but it really is fun trying to see what a genetically-realistic Warrior Cats would look like!

For my attempt, I went in terms of introduction order, like how it would have been built as the writers go through each book.

Firestar and Sandstorm are described as ginger cats in the first arc, so Squirrelstar and Leafpool end up ginger in the second. Then Firestar and Princess being described as siblings, so their mother has to be a tortie but Jake cannot be ginger or Princess would also be tortie.

I still tried to make every cat as accurate as I could to their original description, so Jayfeather and Hollyleaf are described as a grey tabby and black cat respectively, so they become low-red torties.

(You have trans headcanons because it suits the character, I have trans headcanons to suit cat colour genetics. We are not the same)

Also, my changes tended to be additive rather than subtractive. Jayfeather and Crowfeather are described with blue eyes, so I added white to make that more plausible vs changing their eye colours.

[gaia-is-here-now]

Maychance a Tango sleeping in the strangest of places?? (dealers choice)

i call this one "accident victim"

[egophiliac]

Of the TWST cards you own, which is your favorite (or favorites of you can't decide)?

(not that I'm still salty over that, nope, no way)

seriously though, this turned out to be harder to answer than I thought! I did actually manage to pull Stitch Lilia (THANK YOU TWSTFEST for the free bonus keys!) and he's absolutely adorable, I've literally been doing random battles just to watch him surf around and high-five Stitch. a fine addition to the Lilia collection!

in terms of proudest/most unbelievable achievement, that is 100% when I somehow managed to pull every single Scary Monsters card except one (only missing Rook!). I think I used up all my luck on that one, but at least it was for the Halloween cards! (after Scary Monsters and Glorious Masquerade, I'm so afraid of what this year's Halloween event is going to be, what if they look amazing how am I supposed to save my keys nooooo)

if I REALLY have to pick one, though...there is actually one card that I think I would call my favorite! he just makes me happy every time I look at him. :>

[pruneunfair]

Ranking every manhwa villainess and white lotus I could find.

Keep in mind these are all opinion based.

#22: At the very bottom of the list is Sumin Jeong from Marry my husband

Now, like almost everyone else on this list, Sumin is kept a level that is below the FL Jiwon so she can never best the hero. However unlike the others here, Sumin has not once been shown to be anything other than a dumb and evil bimbo who talks like elmo even before Jiwon regressed, her reasons for wanting everything Jiwon has make no sense and she has no flavor to her, no backstory that makes sense, no real charm since it's lost as soon as possible, all she has going for her is a distinct design.

#21: Charlotte-the villainess maker

Honestly, Charlotte is about as forgettable as the comic she's from. She doesn't do much, just basic bland white lotus tropes over and over. She is portrayed as a sweet heart but she's secretly a jealous vindictive mean girl, she loses everything to the FL because she's too basic for the not-like-other-girls readers, nothing really revolutionary about her, but this could be chalked up to the story shes from canonically being an abysmal mess written by the FL when she was 14, Sorry Charlotte.

#20: Iris Van Conrad-Today the villainess has fun again.

A step up from Sumin when it comes to backstories, still not the greatest but it makes a little more sense. She's more passive aggressive since her actual plots are destoryed in nanoseconds by the plot, she gets dunked on so much I wonder if she's supposed to the Villainess or a discount Meg Griffin. Considering the fact to that Reilynn is pedo coded, Iris is less of the two evils.

#19: Aisha Selir-divorcing my tyrant husband.

Shes okay, But like Charlotte, Aisha isn't very noteworthy, as usual, any attempts she makes to best or outsmart Robelia are met with utter failure, she could be something really great if she were just allowed to make a mark on the plot. Like actually have Alexandros take responsibility instead of blaming her for her existence. Her design before the art shift was pretty enough and I'm pretty sure she's being possessed by a vindictive soul so that might explain why Aisha suddenly became a villain when she's described as being dainty, sweet, and a general damsel and saintess in the story within DMTH.

18: Fonta Magnus:the tyrants only perfumer

Fonta is the type of antagonist that would be adored as a isekaied protagonist. She doesn't really do much though since she gets defeated over and over with the same plan of copying Ariels ideas (how original, no pun intended) I like her though just because her design reminds me of cartoon goth girls, specially Gwen from total drama island.

#17: Benela Verdi- the princesses jewels

I don't care if she seduced Ariannas father or killed her brother, Arianna was out there acting like she wouldn't do the same just to get with a sexy man. Benela may suffer from the same problems every other villainess does but if ranked them based on that then almost all of them would be on the bottom. This image of her drinking her stress away is accurate to how I felt reading this one.

#16: Claudine von Brandt-Cry or better yet beg

I absolutely adore Claudine and she's not really a villain but unfortunately the narrative says she's a so she'll have to count. It's why she's this low since she's just a woman who gets in the way of the main ship

As you can probably guess, her only crimes are being condescending to Layla and valuing superficial values such as wealth and status, crimes that somehow make her worse than Matthias in the narratives eyes. Justice for my girl Claudine ✊️

now we are moving up to the middle tier

#15: Diana-for my derelict favorite

This girl has more protagonist material then Hestia ever will. Sorry but Hestias entire thing is just being a rich girlboss, simping for Cael and damning any woman who broke his heart including Diana, who is the saintess that opposes murder, Wow! Who would have guessed that the saintess woman wouldn't endorse literal murder! Could she have communicated better? Yes, was she always in the right? Hell no. But she's got more character in her pinky toe then everyone else in their entire bodies to I salute to her.

#14: Irene/Aileen Hascator- I didn't mean to seduce the male lead

I have a weird relationship with her. One minute I'm impressed because she actually does manipulation pretty well at first with making the lives of those who won't swear loyalty her unbearable in very smart ways, she'll buy all her friends expensive dresses so she can stand out in a simpler one, she'll defend the black sheep and make her into her friend to keep up her sweetheart facade, unfortunately it's all so she can get with a boy where she goes nuts on anyone who gets near him.

#13: Freya van Furiana- how to get my husband on my side

I really loved this manhwa, almost all of the characters are complex and 3 dimensional with a great commentary on abuse, ED, and family dynamics, with that said I was a little disappointed seeing Freya as another basic white lotus who only wants Izek for herself, it won't take much even a little more character traits would help because Freya isn't just some random girl who became the ogfl, she was the childhood friend of Izek and Ellen, so we should've gotten to see a little more too her then what we got

#12: Mielle Roscente- the villainess turns the hourglass.

Beautiful design, basic but rather solid goals, a charming personality, Mielle has all of that in the bag. She secretly wants Aria and her mother out of her life since they aren't of noble blood (before the terrible Arias a noble plot twist) and she's really entertaining. However I'll never understand how she managed to destroy Aria in the first timeline if she's such an idiot now. The first timeline also takes the blame off of Arias shitty actions with "Mielle tricked her into being evil!" It ruins the charm since Aria, as a villainess should be allowed to suffer the consequences while not wanting to quit.. since you know, she's not meant to be a good person.

#11: Isabella de Mare-sister I am the queen in this life

NOT YOU!

THIS is the Isabella I'm talking about

Absolute genius, she knows that Ceasre is a bastard and not just in the literal sense, she doesn't even love him and just wants that sweet sweet power and wealth. Fooled Ariande for years that she was on her side and as a bonus she can easily say she wanted revenge for Alfonso to the public if they ever found out she was behind it all. But the best part about first timeline Isabella is her villain monolog that women mean nothing to men, putting your life in their hands is a fatal mistake and if you want to make it to the top, you gotta crush the opponents. But alas we never see this version of Isabella after Ariande goes back in time

Higher tier now, the best of the best who managed to make it this far

#10: Rhyse/Lise Sinclair- not your typical reincarnation story

Yeah shes technically being controlled by the author or hell maybe she is the author I have yet to finish this one but for once we get a comic that doesn't immediately pit two women against eachother and actually gives a solid reason for her to be at odds with Edith. When something doesn't go her way, Rhyse doesn't throw a fit and turn on the water works no no no. She stands there, awkwardly, almost like the real Rhyse is wondering why she feels so jealous and angry with Edith for stealing the spotlight. She's incredibly ominous too when that purple mist surrounds her to force the other characters back into place. All while she's making friends with Edith in a possibly geninue friendship.

#9: Isis Frederick- the villainess reverses the hourglass

I'm pretty sure most of us can agree she's the real villain of TVRTHG since she basically started and encouraged the whole operation to begin with from afar, the puppeteer if you will. Killer design, a great fear factor and an evil sister done better. Wish she had more time to shine.

#8: Diane Poitier- I abdicate my title as empress

What already sets her apart from other evil concubines is that she was there before Adelaide so her reasons for being upset that another woman is showing up to marry the Emperor is reasonable, obviously her actions aren't but I still felt bad for her since no one in that palace gave a damn about her, Diane got ruthlessly belittled and ignored for not being useful to their liking or simply being too desperate and when Adelaide tries to not make an enemy out of her, Diane is looking for anyone to direct her anger on but the redemption arc as short as it is, makes up for it.

#7: Leila- villains are destined to die

My favorite ogfl turned villain. Leila is pure evil no questions asked. She steals the body of Yvonne which played a part in taking the latters reputation to a degree in the fandom and starts brainwashing everyone around her. That's what makes her so terrifying, one minute you could be at your highest and you feel like you rule the world, and next minute it all comes crashing down when the face of your long lost sibling arrives with fake tears in her eyes, ready to destroy everything you hold dear.

#6: Soleia Elard- seducing the villains father

I can't believe I'm saying this but a classic black magic witch is a unique villain in the manhwa world. During her introduction she's already causing mayhem by trying to kill Yerenica with black magic, and at first you'd think she's another "I want my hubbies affection!" Chick but no, she just wants to marry Erudian to have his child and use said child to avenge her family and destroy everything, characters are all frightened by her because she actually gets shit done instead of failing every minute of the day, and even after all that, she's allowed the privilege of life by getting a redemption arc.

#5: Cosette Weinberg- I was the real one.

She deserved so much better!! 😭 Cosette, my baby, you were set up to be such an amazing villain with high intelligence and well thought out plans, why did they have to give you the good old plot induced lobotomy! Girly wasn't just smart but there were actually times I could get behind Cosette. When Keira gave a maid 100 lashes after she insulted and wished death on Keira, it was Cosette who took advantage of an actual truth with only a little bit of exaggeration, they were both evil but only one of them was rightfully called out for it. Honestly just read the novel, the manhwa did it dirty.

#4: Marianne Edenverre- into the light again.

Nah someone get this baby to a church and give her the aggressive baptism 10 times over, I'll always be wondering how the hell did that 10 year old get her hands on a demon in the first place, the fact that the family never found her hiding behind a door or closet staring into their soul like a paralysis demon is surprising cause I imagine she would do that and be like "it's just me sillies, I would never mean to scare you 😛" she's a well written villainess who I wish would have a little bit more screentime but her powers and what she can do honestly confuses me (like that whole body-swap thing)

Final 3 everybody, you ready for this?

#🥉: the 3rd place medal goes to Dodolea Castor from My in laws are obsessed with me

Another real villainess, putting everyone off guard with her initial gacha life brat persona only to be hit in the face with disturbing levels of cruelty that can only match a psychopath, she looks straight out of an uncanny mr incredible meme with that light skin stare shes got. Straight up laughs at Therdeos trauma while being well aware that she tried to SA him and how it affected the poor guy and later proceeds to attempt to kill and later kidnaps his wife. There's no remorse, no regrets, just the souls of innocents behind those huge eyes.

#🥈 : the second place medal goes to Verta Alberhart from depths of malice.

She isn't even the antagonist, no that's the protagonist! And honestly, the only white lotus in the main lead spot I've ever read so far. And while she has a messed up backstory that explains why she's so bitter, she still full on embraces it. Vertas way of being granted a second chance isn't even because of some goddess or divine power, she just snatches the body of a suicidal noblewoman and wreaks havoc on all of the disgusting noblemen in her path. She cries on the court trial of her fiances murder while secretly laughing knowing she set the whole thing up and slowly ruins the life of anyone who fucked around and found out.

At long last, we reached #🏅, and the crown goes to none other than...

Rashta Ishka from the remarried empress!

Hear me out now, this isn't just me being biased. Rashta earns first place because even though she is rendered an idiot who's only use is being worse so everyone else can look good, she still managed to do something unfathomable. She earned the respect of a fandom that initially hated her with all the fiber of their being and now she has a growing fanbase of real people, not fictional characters, actual fans. People are literally turning on one of the most popular manhwas that started it all for its treatment of Rashta (because who would guess that people are uncomfortable with the fact that a former slave is the ultimate evil and not the guy who tortures people just for shit talking the FL) and even though there is still a big part of the fandom who despises her, she still lives in everyone's head rent free. The trashta meme is more well known than Navier as a character and her character arc will always be superior and far more interesting than everything else in the story, after all remarried empress did start to decline after her death.

Jesus christ this took so long, I had to do so much rereading and fact checking but it was worth it.